I've only read the first couple chapters so far (I've been busy with end of school and whatnot), but I do think you've got some things going for you. First of all, you're writing group fiction, which is such a rarity these days. Second, I think the idea you've got is workable. I'm always into reading het stories that are well conceived and well developed.

However, I don't think you're quite there with the "developed" part. You've been working on this for 6 years, but I'm curious what exactly that means. Have you been working with the idea for 6 years (ie, rewriting, reworking) or did you write the first chapter 6 years ago? I'd really like to know as the story progresses if your writing is changing over a 6 year period or if you've written all this recently. Thus far, Fantasia is coming off a bit Mary Sue and she doesn't seem to have a lot of depth just yet. Her arrival into the story and their acceptance of her seems a bit rushed as well.

Also, as another reviewer mentioned, the formatting is really distracting. It's seriously something you need to look into correcting because it turns readers away. It's really easy to fix and will do you a world of good. If you need help, please let me know.

I think you've got potential, and the idea has got potential, but I also think it needs a lot of work. If you see my comments as pompous and egotisical, I completely understand and you're perfectly in your rights to delete my review and forget all about me. But I would love to help you improve this story, and I'd be willing to help you if you'd be willing to put in the work. You can email me (bubblepop425@hotmail.com) if you're interested or respond to the review.

As I said, I can see how I might come off as rude or self absorbed and I get that. If you don't appreciate my comments, please just delete them and leave it at that.