The Changes In Time


Crystal Walmack.

She was a cute little redhead that worked as a waitress at Chi. Her sweet smile and big green eyes were inviting. The light and raspy tone of her voice was somewhat intoxicating. She wasn't a shy girl either, standing out in a bright red dress. I would've thought she was perfect.

If she didn't talk so much.

"So anyway, Liz was like 'Frank is so gay' and I was like what? And then she was like 'I saw him kissing Mark in the backroom'." Wow. Just wow.

"That's. . .that's crazy, Crystal," I said as enthusiastically as I could. She seemed somewhat satisfied with my response.

"I know!" she breathed, "But let me tell you the best part-"

"Um, could you hold that thought?" I interrupted politely, "It's nine o'clock and I promised my daughter I'd call before she went to bed."

"Oh, go ahead. I'll be waiting for you." She offers me a wink as I stand up and walk toward a secluded area of the Italian resturant we were dining in. I rolled my eyes and sighed once I was out of Crystal's view before I dialed the familiar digits of my home phone number.

"Timberlake residence." I smile as Josie's professional tone flows through the phone. It's amazing how much she matured over the last five years.

"Hey, sweetie," I greet, "It's daddy."

"Oh, hey dad." My shoulders slump when she calls me dad. It made me realize how grown she's getting, leaving her old pops behind.

"What's going on?" I asked curiously, "Is Uncle Trace still there?"

"Yeah, he's in the shower," Josie replies, "How's your date going?" I roll my eyes before answering.

"Um. . ." I pause, "It's going. . .well." Josie laughs and I chuckle lightly.

"You don't like her, huh?"

"She talks a lot," I explained, "But she's pretty."

"Every girl you date is pretty, dad," Josie points out, "Maybe you should stop dating girls Uncle Chris gives you." I nod my head in agreement.

"I was thinking the same thing," I smiled, "Why are you still up, missy?"

"To answer the phone," Josie answered, "You always call home when you're on a date."

"That's because I'm so bored," I whine, "I want to be in bed."

"Tell her I'm sick or something," Josie suggested, "Didn't that Dani lady fall for that?" I laughed as the memory flooded my mind. Dani was a hippie, to say the least. I spent most of our date listening to her talk about her mouse, George, and her views on making weed a legal drug.

"Yeah, but I don't want to reuse my lines," I breathed, "Maybe I can say the house is on fire."

"What if she wants to see it?" Josie laughed, "You're silly, dad."

"I'm not silly, I'm desperate," I correct, "Maybe I should just stick this one out."

"Okay," Josie said, "Will I get to meet her this time?"

"No, not this time," I told her, "Maybe you'll meet a girl who gets a second date."

"You're picky, dad," Josie sighs, "You're never going to find a girlfriend if you don't settle for someone."

"I never settle," I told her, "She has to be perfect, especially if she's going to be around you."

"Well, I don't see why you need to date anyway," Josie confesses, "I thought we were doing alright."

"We are, baby," I cooed, "Daddy's just trying to move on, ya know?" Josie's silent for a moment.

"Yeah," Her sad tone is heartbreaking, "Well, I'm going to bed now. Have fun."

"Oh yeah, I'm going to have fun," I said sarcastically, causing her to laugh, "I love you, princess."

"I love you too, dad," Josie tells me, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," I repeat before sending her a kiss through the phone. She giggles and hangs up. I flip my cell close and heave a sigh as I make my way back to my table. Crystal's smiling at me and I return the gesture. She really is beautiful, but I can't sit through another lecture.

"Is everything alright?" she asked me the moment I was seated. I bet she couldn't wait to talk again.

"Um. . ." I think about lying, but my conscious doesn't allow it this time, "Everything's good."

"Good!" she exclaims, "Where was I before you left?"

On my last nerve. "The best part about the whole gay thing," I informed her as I place the dinner napkin across my lap.

"Oh yeah!" she said, "Well, I ran into Mark later that day to confront him about the whole thing. . ." And that's the last I heard of her for the rest of the night. I completely tuned her out and smiled while I nodded to whatever the hell she was talking about. The evening ended about an hour later and I told her I'd call.

I won't.

I know, I'm a dog. But did you hear that pointless conversation? I can't spend the rest of my life with someone who's completely infactuated with other people's drama. Besides, Josie would hate her, I just know it. We're close like that now. Kind of like my mom and I. Best friends.

She's so mature for her age. She's only nine, but she's smarter than me and sophistocated as hell. I guess that comes from Kia. She looks just like her mother and acts like her too. And she means the world to me, just like her mother did.

But what makes her most like her Nakia is her determination to get me to move on. Even if she hates the idea of me being with someone else, she knows I get lonely. She also knows I'm getting older. I'm thirty-eight now. I know. Wow, where did the time go, right?

I don't look like it though. My mom swears I pulled an Eminem or a Matt Damon. She says I never age. I may not look like a thirty-eight year old, but I feel like it.

Time has brought so many changes in my life. 'Nsync no longer exist. We had a good run, but we're too old for the whole band thing now. I still sing though, I'm just doing it behind scenes. I've got my own record company called 'Memphis'. Simple and obvious, I know, but it's doing really well. I'm proud about where I'm at right now, minus the whole single thing. No man at my age should still be dating, in my opinion. I'm tired of going on date, after date, after date. It's been over a year of dating and I have yet to find somebody.

Nobody's Kia, I guess. I know I should stop comparing people to her, but I can't help it. She was perfect for me, so why would I look for anything else? At least I'm trying though. In the beginning, I wouldn't even look at a woman. I had no interest whatsoever because I knew in my hearts of hearts, I was never going to find anybody.

I've been proven right so far.

My life has been too hectic anyway. Josie's been the leading lady in my life and it'll remain that way until she's on her own. I owe it to her. She was there when I went through some tough stuff and I regret putting her in the position she was in the first year after Kia's passing. The depression I went through had a major affect on her. I guess that's why she's so mature right now. She was forced to become an adult at a tender age in order to take care of me.

It still breaks my heart to remember the times she found me passed out from drinking or the times she heard me crying for hours while she went around the house, cleaning up the mess I'd make when I threw things in anger. I never raised a hand to her though. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I ever hurted her. But her emotional scars will probably never heal. Yet, she stays by me and I make sure she knows that I love her more than life itself.

Damn, I'm babbling again. I guess some of Crystal's qualities rubbed off on me.

  The Trip To Sears


Today is Josie's last day of school. She was giddy as hell when she came bobbing down the stairs and into the kitchen. Her dark brown hair was out and hung down her back. She wore her navy blue uniform skirt and white polo shirt.

"Morning, Dad," she greets cheerfully. I smile in her direction after tucking her turkey sandwich into a brown paper bag.

"Good morning, sugar," I reply, grabbing the bag of lunch from the counter and walking toward her.

"I'm really excited about today," she gushes, "Mrs. Smith is taking pictures and giving out candy and stuff." I nod as I adjust her food into her backpack.

"Cool," I say nonchalantly. She had no idea that I had a surprise for her class. I'm going to be the coolest dad to ever walk on God's green earth.

"Oh yeah," Josie exclaims, "Ashley's sleepover!"

"What about it?" I asked calmly. Who the hell was Ashley. . .

"We have to go buy a new sleeping bag, remember?" No, I didn't.

"Yeah, of course," I lie, "After school, alright?" Josie narrows her eyes at me and smirked.

"You're a bad liar, Dad." I laughed and gently nudged her with my elbow.

"Stop knowing me so well," I joked, "Get started on your breakfast." She sits down at the table and began to nip at her scrambled eggs.

"Can we go to Sears today?" I looked over my shoulder as I grabbed my black mug off of the counter.

"Why?" I questioned while taking a seat across from her. She simply shrugged and sipped on her orange juice.

"I don't know," she answered, "I just hate shopping at those stores you go to." She's referring to those Gucci-selling boutiques that cater to our every need. She hates them, obviously. Josie doesn't like people fussing over her.

"Okay," I relent, "If that's what you want." Yeah, I'm that easy. Josie could be spoiled, if she would allow that to happen. But she's too independent and stubborn.

"Thanks, Dad," Josie said politely, "I appreciate it." I nod and drink my tea. Josie and I engaged in another conversation about our plans for the day before we head out. It only takes fifteen minutes to reach her private school. As we pull up to the front, she leans over and places a kiss on my cheek before climbing out of my BMW. She adjusted the hem of her skirt and I hand her school bag over.

"I love you," I told her, "Be safe and I'll see you later."

"Okay," she said hurriedly, "I love you too, Dad." I smile and watch as she shuts the car door. She runs off to join a group of her friends and turns to give me a final wave. I raise my hand and watch as she slips inside the school doors. I drive off when I feel she's safe and turn on the radio to hear the traffic report.

So, that's my morning ritual. The highlight of my day. Now I'm off to work at the LA branch of Memphis Records. I'm meeting with a new artist named Greg Michaels. This kid is going to be the next Stevie or Luther. Yeah, he's just that good. But I don't look forward to the paper work and the bullshit following it. I really hate the business aspect of things, but it's unavoidable now.

I'm just looking forward to shopping with Josie.


-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-


So, my best dad in the world plan failed. Josie thinks I'm a rich show off now. I was surprised when she came into the car with a pout, not bothering to say hello. She told me that I embarrassed her. How do you embarrass a kid by ordering a truck load of ice cream for her and her friends? I thought it was a cool idea. Even the teachers got ice cream. I was getting thank you's like crazy when I picked her up.

But Josie said I made her look like a rich brat who dad bribes Dairy Queen. I apologized though and promised to never do it again. She actually accepted it and we were off to Sears. I was driving around in circles trying to find a spot and I finally did, right near the entrance too. Josie hopped out and I took her hand as we walked across the lot. She complained about me babying her, but I didn't care. Safety first, remember that.

Anyway, we get there and I browse around before realizing the bedroom stuff is upstairs. We get on the escalator and Josie laughs as the end of my suit almost gets caught in the stupid stair. I glare at her before stepping off the damn thing. She follows my lead as looked through piles of sleeping bags. Pink ones. Purples one. Green ones. So many cartoon characters. Josie squeals when I pick out a Hello Kitty one and I laugh as she grabs it and holds it to her chest.

"That was quick," I comment before we turn to head back down. I stop in my tracks when I see a ginormous stereo system calling my name. I can hear Josie groan as I pull her over toward the masterpiece.

"Daddy, you have a stereo." I ignore her comment and continue to drool.

"It's that lastest edition from Sharp," I turn and see some guy smiling at me, "Peter." He extends his hand to me and I shake it.

"So, Peter," I begin, "What's this thing about?"

"It's a Sharp Shelf System. Eight-hundred watts peak power. Five-disc changer. Dual cassette decks. CD and MP3 playback. Front and Rear speakers and a Standalone subwoofer." Whoa. I didn't even know what half those things were, but it sounded awesome. . .

"How much?" I asked.

"Usually, five hundread bucks," Peter told me, "But we have it on sale for three hundred and sixty."

"That's nice. . ." I breathe.

"Real nice," Peter agreed, "So, you want it? They're going fast." I think about it for a moment before turning to Josie.

"What do you- Josie?" I frantically look around but find no sign of her, "Josie!" I call louder, "Have you seen a little girl?" I asked, turning back to Peter. He shrugs and shakes his head.

"No, when I came up, you were alone." What the fuck? Where's Josephine? Panic begins to swell in the pit of my stomach as I begin to walk away. I look around every aisle I can find and call out to her. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. How did she walk off so fast? She knows better than to run off like that. I take my search downstairs and walk up to a cashier.

"Can you please make an announcement or something? I lost my daughter." I was so embarrassed saying. What kind of dad am I? The woman seems uneffected and bends over behind the desk. She raises up again and picks up the phone.

"What's her name?" she asked as she dialed some numbers.

"Josephine Timberlake." She nods and sighs, pressing her lips to the phone.

"Will Josephine Timberlake please come to the Jewelry Department. Josephine Timberlake, your father is waiting for you." Her voice echos throughout the store and some people turn and look at me. Oh that's great. I'm going to be on US Weekly. Justin Timberlake Abandons His Daughter. I thank her and step aside, leaning against a pillar as I look around for some sign of Josie. It feels like days go by before I finally see her skipping over to me from the escalator. She's being followed by some blonde haired woman who has a girl around Josie's age attached to her arm.

"Josephine," I scolded quietly when she walked up to me, "You can't go running off like that." She pouts and points to the woman that's behind her.

"I had to go to the bathroom and then I got lost when I went to find you again," she explained, "But then I saw Ashley and her mom so I stayed with them. She was looking for you." I looked up at this 'she' woman and extended my hand to her.

"Hi, I'm Justin," I greeted, "I swear, I don't lose her often." She laughs and I can see her smile. Nice.

"It's fine," she said, "I'm Melanie, by the way." The softness of her hands distracts me for a moment before I break her handshake.

"It's good to meet you," I said, "This must be the Ashley who's having a sleepover." Ashley giggles and nods her head, sending her blonde locks everywhere.

"Yes, Mr. Timberlake." I smile and turn back to Melanie.

"And you're her mom," I said, stating the obvious. She nods.

"Yes, I am," she confirms, "Josie told me you were big on meeting the supervising parents, so maybe we should set up a time to talk."

"Well, Josie and I were going to get something to eat later on at Roscoe's, so maybe I can swing by and pick you guys up." What the hell was I talking about. We didn't plan anything. I glance down at Josie and she looks at me suspiciously.

"Sure, that'll be great," Melanie told me, "Is seven good for you?" I nod without even thinking.

"Yeah, seven's excellent." Melanie smiles and we all stand there awkwardly, "Well, we better get going. I don't want to keep ya'll."

"Yeah, Ash and I were just shopping for the sleepover stuff."

"Can Josie shop with us?" Ashley blurts out to nobody in particular. I look at her before turning to her mother.

"If Mr. Timberlake doesn't mind, I don't see why not." Josie looks up at me hopefully, and being the sucker that I am. . .

"Sure, why not?" The girls cheer and Melanie offers me a soft smile.

"Next stop, Kaybee Toys!" Ashley cheers as Josie and her go into a fit of giggles. We stop to pay for the sleeping bag before heading out. I hold the door open for everybody and we get outside. We walk along the stretch of sidewalk and turn the corner. The girls run off ahead of us and leave me to fend for myself.

I look over at Melanie and she looks at me. I smile and she smiles back. Oh goodness, I feel like I'm back in the seventh grade. Why is this woman making me into such a dork?

"So," we say in unison. We laugh before the silence washes over us again. Well, this is going to be awkward. . .

  The Sleepover and Supervisors


"Then we'd do the makeover nonsense before ice cream and a movie," Melanie says, moving her hands animately as she does so. We're sitting at her kitchen table discussing the sleepover plans for Friday night. I didn't know so much happened in one night, but apparently they did. Make up, movies, gossip, and games. Why call it a sleepover if you never sleep?

"What movie?" I asked. I didn't want Josie watching those sappy romance movies where people are sucking each other's faces off. I know she's mature for her age, but she's not that mature. As far as I'm concerned, she'll have no physical contact with a male until she's thirty. . .

"Princess Diaries and those Barbie things. . ." Melanie answered, "Don't worry, nothing inappropriate. My daughter is watching this stuff too."

"Oh, I know," I assured, "I just wanted to know." She smiled at me for the millionth time today and I haven't gotten sick of it yet. Melanie has this aura about her. She's always. . . perky. Speaking of perky, I my eyes seem wander down the v-shape dip of her shirt as she looks down to write something on a sheet of paper. I must say, Melly's packing. She even has an incredible ass. . .

"Ahem." My eyes shoot up when the clearing of Melanie's throat catches my attention. I tried to act like I was staring off into the distance, but with the way she's looking at me, I doubt it worked.

"So, is that all?" I asked suddenly, trying to get rid of the awkwardness. Melanie crosses her arms over her chest protectively and leans back in her chair.

"Yeah, that's it," she told me, "Well, we need another supervisor for the whole thing. So if you or your wife are up for it. . ." My spirits sort of dampen when she mention's my wife, but I shake it off.

"Oh, my wife passed away," I explained softly. I can see Melanie swallow nervously as her face flushes with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I just assumed because of your ring." I looked down at the gold band on my finger and smile weakly to assure that things are fine.

"That's understandable," I told her, "It's okay, really. I confuse a lot of people. I just don't take it off."

"Okay," Melanie said with uncertainty, "I'm still sorry." I chuckle lightly and wave her off.

"Don't worry about it, Melanie," I smile, "And I don't mind supervising." She smiles and nods.

"Good," she responds, "Get ready for be made over. Lipstick, eye liner, the works." We laugh and I licked my lips.

"I can't wait."


-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-


After my perverted peak, Melanie's taken it upon herself to avoid me at all cost. She and Stephanie, the other sleepover supervisor as well as Ashley's godmother, are secluded in the kitchen, supposedly making snacks. I have a very good feeling that they're discussing me because Stephanie walks in here, checks on the girls, and looks at me suspiciously before retreating back to the kitchen. I try to ignore the nervous knot in my stomach and focus on the movie ahead, but The Princess Diaries was never a favorite of mine.

"Daddy, are the snacks ready?" Josie whispered, her eyes permanantly glued to the screen.

"I don't know," I replied, "I'll ask Ms. Thomas." I stood from the tan sofa and step over the group of girls laying on the floor, careful not to step on their fingers and toes. As I make my way into the kitchen, I tug at the hem of my shirt and run my hands over my hair. I don't know why, but I'm nervous.

"The girls want to know if the food's ready," I announce the moment I swing open the kitchen door. They both hault their actions and stare at me blankly. I look at Stephanie before looking over at Melanie.

"Oh, yeah," she said, snapping out of whatever daze she seemed to be in, "We're just waiting on the popcorn. I nod and stuff my hands in my pockets.

"So, you're Josephine's father, right?" Stephanie's voice disrupts the uncomfortable silence and I once again nod.

"Yeah, I am." She smiles.

"Raising her by yourself?"

"For five years, yes," I answered. She nods approvingly.

"Melanie's a single parent too," Stephanie informed me, "Ever since Ashley was born." I look over at Melanie and raise a brow.

"Really?" I said. She smiles shyly and begins to mess with a pack of marshmellows on the table.

"Yeah," she finally confirms.

"Well, you did a great job," I compliment, "Ashley's a good kid."

"Thanks," Melanie said softly, "So, have you've suffered enough or are you enjoying the movie?" I smile and shrugged.

"I guess I've outgrown Disney," I shrugged, "But the girls are having a great time."

"Are they acting like they've never seen it before?" I nodded and chuckled.

"I sneezed and was nearly kicked out of the room," I told them, "They're serious when it comes to movie time."

"You wait until gossip talk happens," Stephanie chimmed in, "That's where they really get crazy."

"Especially when crushes get mentioned." Melanie and Stephanie laugh, but I don't. Crushes? If Josie says one thing about a boy, I'll find him and-

"Does Josie have a crush?" Stephanie sings as she toys with a napkin. I smiled and shrugged.

"Not that I know of," I told her, "As far as I'm concerned, Josie hates men."

"Ah, a true woman," Melanie laughs. Stephanie giggles when she looks over at me and I'm confused. Is there something on my face?

"Don't worry, Justin. We're only kidding," she assured, "We're not going into a feminist rant." I scratch between my eyebrows and smile.

"Thank god." I give an exaggerated sigh of relief and they laugh.

"I like you, Justin," Stephanie comments, grabbing a bowl of Chex mix from the table and heading towards the door.

"I like you too, Stephanie," I respond. She smiles my way and exits the kitchen, leaving me with Melanie. I look over at her and she protectively covers up her chest. Damn, was I staring that hard? I didn't mean to. They were just. . . there. Damn it, don't judge me. I haven't had sex in four years. It would've been five, but in one of my drunken, club hopping episodes, I ran into a newly divorced Britney.

"Popcorn's done," Melanie announces the moment the microwave oven beeps. I nod and watch as she turns toward the device. She grabs the bag of buttery goodness out of the microwave and pours it into a bowl adjacent to it. She turns to me and smiles, "Could you grab those sodas?" She nods her head toward the counter and I pick them up. We head out of the kitchen together and the girls cheer the moment they see the food.

"Who wants popcorn?" Melanie asked. A million hands shot up before they started grabbing at the sodas in my hands. It was like feeding wolves.

"Okay, girls," Stephanie said loudly to speak over the noise, "Gossip time." The girls instantly hundle by Stephanie's chair and giggle. Melanie sits next to me on the sofa, but keeps her distance.

"Can we do crushes first?" A little hispanic girl raises her hand. I believe her name is Angelica. All the girls giggle again and I laugh lightly.

"Sure thing," Stephanie said quickly, "Who wants to go first?" The room is silent before Ashley speaks up.

"Erica likes Brian!" she reveals. A redheaded girl gasped and buried her chubby face into her hands.

"I do not!" she denied, "Ashley likes Peter!" I laugh and Melanie chuckles.

"Well. . .Josie likes David!" What!?!

"Who's David?" I asked calmly. The girls laugh.

"He's-" Ashley begins, only to be interrupted.

"He's nobody," Josie inserts, "I don't even like him."

"Yes you do!" Erica argues, "He's a fifth grader too." Oh. My. God. Did I mention Josie's in the third grade? What the hell is she doing liking fifth grader? Sure she's mature, but she's not that grown yet.

"Fifth grade?" I nearly screeched. All the girls 'oh' as Josie blushes.

"Dad. . ." Josie whined. I sit back and take a breath. I decide to play it cool to save her the embarrassment.

"Don't worry about it," I assured, "As long as I get to meet him before ya'll get married, I'm cool." Everybody laughed and Josie's reddened.

"I'm not gonna marry him," she argued.

"Yeah you are," Monica, a little black girl, inserts, "He wants to marry you." She teasingly sings the last part and everybody laughs.

"He does not," Josie denies, "Does he?" Everybody howls with laughter, but I'm tempted to roll over and die. She was a little too anxious to find that out. Besides, if I find out he so much as thought about messing with my little girl, I'm gonna break the asshole in half.

"Okay," Stephanie interrupted, "Let's leave Josie alone. I say we pick on the adults." The girls cheer and turn to face Melanie and I.

"Mr. Timberlake, who's your crush?" I'm a bit shocked to be called on. I look over at Melanie and she smiles. I look back at my audience and their expectant looks are making me nervous.

"Um. . ." The girls laugh at my lack of words, "I have a crush on. . . nobody." Everybody breathes a disappointed sigh.

"Oh come on," Melanie whined, "Everybody has a crush."

"Really?" I asked rhetorically, "If everybody has a crush, Ms. Thomas, who's yours?" She blushes immediately and the girls laugh.

"Yeah, mom," Ashley pried, "Who's your crush?" I stare at her and wiggle my eyebrows. She laughs and looks at Stephanie. I get butterflies in my stomach the moment Stephanie glances over at me. I want Melanie to say it's me for some reason. I barely know her and I want her crushing on me? Am I that pathetic?

"I have a crush on somebody cute and funny," Melanie said vaguely, "That's all I'm telling you." The girls playfully boo her, but I'm grinning like hell.

I'm cute and funny.

The Promise That's Made

"How about that sleepover, huh? Huh?" I playfully nudge Josephine with my elbow as she yawns into her cereal.

"You've been asking me that for two days," she complains tiredly, "It was still fun." I smile softly sip some of my tea.

"So, anyways," I said, changing the subject, "You and Ashley seem close. Ya'll could be best friends." Josie's face crinkles at my words and my mood sort of dampers. It's the 'I really like her, but I'm scared to get close in case she leaves me' look. Ever since Kia passed, Josie has taken it upon herself to never get too close. Even with our family. She's afraid it'll hurt too much to say goodbye when the time comes around. I can't really blame her though. Being part of three funerals before you're five years old can do that to anybody.

"She's really nice," Josie comments, "And pretty."

"She gets it from her mother," I blurt out. I glance down into my mug before I meet Josie's gaze again. Her eyebrow's arched and she's searching my eyes for something unknown.

"Do you like her?" she asked softly.

"Ashley?" I asked dumbly. Josie gives me a look.

"Her mom."

"I. . ." I look downward and furrow my brows in thought. Melanie was kind and beautiful, but I don't know her well enough to like like her. We talked a little though about parenthood and we shared some laughs over memorable moments during our daughters' lives, but as far as her personal self, I'm in the dark.

"Dad?"

"Oh," I said, snapping out of my daze, "She's. . . nice."

"Nice enough to date?" she questioned. Damn, whatever happened to beating around the bush? Josie wasted no time.

"I don't know her well enough to answer that," I said smartly.

"Isn't getting to know somebody the whole point to dating?" Yes. . .

"Well, yeah. . ." I mumble.

"Then answer my question." She leans back and looks at me with a blank expression. I feel like I'm being interrogated or something.

"I don't know," I answer honestly, "Why? Would you like me to date her?" A look of disgust crosses over her face and she shakes her head.

"No!" she said quickly, "She's Ashley's mom." I don't really see what's so wrong with that.

"So?"

"Dad, if you don't call her back, Ashley won't ever talk to me again." Her words hit me hard. Was I really that bad when it came to rejecting women?

"I'm not-"

"You don't know that," Josephine interrupts.

"Neither do you," I countered, "But you know what? It's not important. Melanie and I are barely friends, okay? I'm not going to date her." Oh goodness, why did I just say that?

"Really?" I look at my daughter and see her how hopeful she is.

"Yeah," I assure, reaching out and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, "If you don't want me with her, then I won't be." Giving me one more look of uncertainty, her face softens as she smiles.

"Promise?"

"I promise." I place my hand over my heart.

"Okay," she said, letting out a sigh of relief, "Then I can hangout with Ashley today?"

"When and where?" I asked.

"Her mom's taking her shopping then they're getting ice cream," Josie explained, "I have to call her before four so that she can tell her mom."

"Alright," I told her, "You can give her a call after breakfast." She nods and begins to anxiously stuff her face with Fruity Pebbles. I chuckle lightly and start on my own bowl. So, shopping and ice cream? Sounds like fun. I need to pick up a few things for the house anyway.

There's no harm in me tagging along.


-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-


"So, Stephanie walks up to this guy and pushes him overboard. Then she threatens to sail off unless he apologized for calling me out of my name," Melanie gushes. Her hair is up in a ponytail today, loose strands hanging around her face.

"Well, damn," I commented, "She was a great friend before you even knew her name."

"I know," Melanie agreed, "I never had someone stand up for me before," she takes a sip of her Sprite, "So, do you have a best friend?" She looks up at me expectantly, proping her elbow up on the table and placing her chin in her hand.

"Actually, I do," I told her, "His name is Trace. I've known him since before I was born." I smile as she raises a brow at me.

"Really?" she asked.

"Yeah," I continued, "Our moms were friends from high school and always kept in touch, so we ended up growing up together."

"That's amazing," Melanie said with genuine awe, "I'm surprised Steph and I have been friends since college." I laughed and nodded.

"Well, I grew up in a small town," I informed her, "Not many friends to choose from." She chuckled and smiled at me. Damn she's beautiful.

"What town?"

"Millington," I answer quickly, "It's a little place outside of Memphis."

"A southern gentleman," she smiled, "I kind of figured that because of the 'ya'll's and the twang in your voice."

"I have a twang?" I asked. She nods her blonde head.

"Especially when you talk to Josephine." She motions over to the two girls sitting across from each other as we speak. They're so engrossed in their secret conversation of giggles that they don't notice us staring. I finally turn back around and stuff a fry into my mouth. We decided to dine at a secluded diner near Melanie's house. It's paparazzi and fanatic free, so we haven't been disturbed.

"What about you?" I asked suddenly.

"What about me?"

"Where are you from?" I clarified.

"Right here in LA," she told me, "Born and raised."

"So, you've never been outside of California?" She turns her gaze heavenward and pouts. She seems to be in thought, but her comical facial expression is oozing with sarcasm.

"Nope," she smiled, "What's the point? They have everything here."

"What about snow?" I challenged. She shrugged.

"Okay, so not everything, but the essentials," Melanie said, "Beaches, great weather. . ."

"Beautiful women," I inserted, gesturing toward her. Seeing the blush creep up her cheeks was a sight to behold.

"Dad," Josie interrupted, "I can't get out." She scoots over and slide out of the booth.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Bathroom," she said quickly.

"I might as well go too," Melanie announced before turning to Ashley, "Do you have to go?" Ashley's curly hair bounced as she shook her head.

"I went in Macy's," she reminded, "I'm fine." Melanie nodded and glanced over at me.

"Be nice to Mr. Timberlake while I'm gone," she said before walking off with Josie along her side. I turned my attention to Ashley and was surprised to see her sitting in her mother's spot, directly in front of me. She smiled innocently and it only rose my suspicious. She was really creeping me out.

"Hi," she greeted suddenly. I plastered a smile on my face to hide my confusion.

"Hi?" I said with uncertainty. She giggled and snickered with her hands over her mouth. I think she's two eggs short of a dozen, if you know what I mean. She doesn't act like this when her mom's around.

"Do you still sing?" she asked. Ah, my music. I can talk about that forever.

"Yes," I told her proudly, "I'm actually thinking about-"

"What's your favorite color?" she interrupted. I took a breath and shrugged my shoulders.

"It's still baby blue." She laughed. I get the feeling it was at me.

"Do you play sports?" What the hell? Did I step into a Details interview without knowing?

"Yes," I paused, waiting for an interruption, "Golf and basketball."

"Golf isn't a sport, silly," Ashley giggled. I usually argue statements like that, but what's the point?

"I think it is."

"Mommy hates golf," Ashley informed me, "Are you married?"

"I was," I answered vaguely.

"What happened?"

"My wife passed away."

"Away where?"

"Heaven."

"That's so sad," Ashley pouts, "Everybody should have a mommy."

"Dads are cool too," I said, semi-defensively.

"For boys," Ashley snorts, "Do you know any girl stuff?"

"Like what?"

"Make up and stuff." I stared at her and shrugged.

"I know enough," I told her smoothly. She looked me up and down and shrugged.

"Do you have a daddy?" she asked. I smiled and nodded.

"I have two, actually," I said, "Paul and Randy. They're really cool."

"That's no fair," Ashley whined, "You have two and I don't even have one." Hmm. . . how do you respond to that? She looked really hurt while saying that too.

"All families are different," I assured, "Some have just a mommy, some just a daddy. There are even families with no mommies or daddies."

"David lives with his Aunt Louise."

"See?" I questioned, "Everybody's different."

"I want a daddy though," Ashley told me, "Someone nice." I smiled at her softly.

"Well, you'll have to wait and see what happens, okay?" She nods and leans back in her seat.

"You're nice," she commented. At first, I was flattered. Then I remembered she wanted a nice daddy.

"Um. . . thanks."

"You're welcome," she said politely. Her smile spread across her face again and I smiled back. After five seconds of eerie silence, Josie and Melanie turned a corner of the small dining area.

"Here they come," I announced. Ashley turned in her seat to watch them walk over.

"Sorry it took so long," Melanie apologized, "This woman was hogging up the second stall." I looked over at Josie in time to see her pinch her nose and make a sour face. I chuckled and turned back to Melanie.

"I don't know how people do that," I told her with a disgusted look. She nodded and crinkled up her nose, making her look ten times cuter.

"I know," she breathed, "She wasn't even. . . quiet about it." I snorted a short laugh as Melanie smiled to herself. I found myself examining her features as she leaned over to clean up Ashley. Her dark brown eyes were surrounded by long lashes. The perfectly rounded tip of her nose made me slightly envious and her full pink lips. . . Don't even get me started on those.

"Dad!" Josie whispered harshly. I tore my eyes away from Melanie to look down at her. She narrowed her green eyes at me and pouted.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"You promised," she whispered back, "You promised." I pretend like I don't know what she's talking about, freigning a look of confusion. But she narrows her little eyes again and I roll my own.

"I didn't even do anything," I whined, "I'm not allowed to look at her now?"

"Nope," Josie replied. I decide not to argue with her. I didn't want Melanie to catch on. That would be terribly awkward.

"So, anyway," I said, turning away from my daughter's piercing eyes, "Is everybody ready?" I get a couple of 'yeah's and we pile up our plates. A waitress comes over and hands me the bill. I look over at Melanie like she was crazy the moment she begins rummaging through her purse.

"What?" she asked as she pulled out some bills.

"I've got it covered," I told her, "Even the tip." I see the waitress smirk when a tip is mentioned. I hope she isn't expecting a blank check.

"No, that's okay," Melanie argued, "You payed for half my stuff and the ice cream earlier. This is the least I could do." Before I even get a word in, she hurriedly hands the money to the waitress and waves her off.

"Come on, Mel." She raised a brow at the new nickname and I back down, "Can I call you that?" She shrugs her shoulders and slides out of the booth, Ashley climbing out after her.

"Sure," she said absentmindedly, "And I appreciate the whole gentlemen thing, but I can afford burgers and fries." She seems a bit offended and I'm scared a feminist rant is coming.

"I know, I just. . ." I just what? God, I can't think when I'm nervous. I feel Josie pushing me and I finally get the hint and stand, allowing her to climb out of the booth.

"It's okay," Melanie cooed, "I'm just letting you know." I pout as we pass the money hungry waitress and grab onto Josie's hand. We walked down the block to my Suburban and I unlock the doors with my remote. Everybody climbs in and we all engage in small talk, mostly stuff about our shopping trip, before we pull up to Melanie's house.

I unlock the back door and grab some bags, following Melanie up the stairs. I take a brief look at her ass before I heard Josie and Ashley behind me. Mel finally gets the door unlocked and we all drop the bags into her neutral colored living room.

"Okay, that's it," Melanie says after checking to make sure all her things were in the house. The phone rings suddenly and Melanie excuses herself.

"I have to pee," Josie said. She stands and heads upstairs without a second thought. Ashley untied her shoes and I quickly dug through my wallet. I pulled out fourty dollars and called to her.

"Hey, Ash?" She looked up at me with light eyes.

"Yes?" I handed her the bills and she took them with uncertainty.

"Give it to your mom when we leave, okay?"

"Why?"

"Because I owe her for dinner."

"She said she had it," Ashley informed me.

"I know, I just feel bad," I told her, "I wouldn't be a gentleman if I don't at least pay her back."

"I-"

"Please?" I said, "Just give it to her and let her know what it's for, okay?" She nodded slowly and tucked it into her jean pockets. Just then, Melanie came into the room and Josie bobbed down the stairs.

"So, I guess it's goodnight," Melanie said.

"Yeah it is," I agreed, "We all had fun, right?" The girls enthusiastically said yes and Mel and I laughed.

"I'm tired," Josie told me, nuzzling her face into my side. I petted her hair.

"Alright, let's go home." She peeled herself off of me and hugged Ashley and Melanie.

"Thank you for dinner," she said to Melanie before walking over to the side. I didn't know whether I should hug Melanie or not, so I simply waved to both of them and smiled. I turned and opened the door for Josie. She ran down the stairs and I jogged behind.

"'Night!" Melanie called from the door. Josie and I both looked up at her as I unlocked the car.

"Goodnight," we said in unison. I opened the back door for Josie. She jumped in and buckled up. I closed the door when she settled and went to get inside, but then Mel's voice caught my attention.

"Justin?" I turned around and her door swung open. She made her way down the steps, and stopped in front of me.

"What's up?" I asked, trying not seem to sound too excited about her being close to me. But then I lost my cool the moment her slender fingers slipped into my side pocket. If a million things didn't just run through my mind. . .

"When I said I had the check," she whispered, "I meant it." She pulled her fingers out after pushing the money down at far as it would go. She patted my thigh for the hell of it, turned around and smiled at me over her shoulder. I smiled like I won the lottery as she switched hips up the stairs and through the door. When she closed it, the sound seemed to echo in my ears. I was feeling all warm inside and my heart was fluttering in my chest. I felt high.

And I was. On her perfume. On her touch. On her magnetic smile. . . I was high on her.

And loving every minute of it.

The Betrayal That Follows


Three months. Three agonizingly slow months spent in denial and repression of feelings. I know I told Josie that Mel and I would barely be seen as friends, let alone dating, but I must've been smoking crack that day. Who the hell was I kidding? I spent the entire summer finding more and more things to like about her. Whether it was her sense of humor or the way she playfully slapped my arm when I teased her about her CareBear collection, there was always something endearing about her. Something comforting. Something I hadn't felt in a while.

I want to just tell Josephine that I can't keep my promise, but I know she'd be disappointed in me. More than I can handle, actually. So, I've been trying to be a good daddy and control the urges I get to ask Melanie out or just touch her in some far-from-platonic way. Even when Melanie flirts with me, I have to pretend to be completely oblivious to it.

She liked me. Melanie, that is. How do I know? Well, for one thing, it's obvious. Her suggestive flirting habits and shy blush whenever I compliment her makes it that way. And secondly, Ashley told me. She was so excited to reveal her mother's secret feelings that she blurted out when we were left alone during a movie night two months ago. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't floating around on cloud nine for a moment, but Josie came bouncing in the room and I caught myself.

I feel really dumb about this though. Josie's the child and I'm the adult, but I feel like I owe her. She's my daughter and her happiness is more important than my own. Besides, I promised her. Promised. Do you know what that means? I'm permanatly attached to my stupid words for the rest of my pathetic little life.

"Justin?" Melanie's soft and amused tone breaks me from my thoughts. I realize she's holding out a plate for me to dry and I smile sheepishly before accepting it. We're washing dishes together, for the millionth time since we've met. I really hate doing dishes though, but, for some odd reason, Melanie makes it fun. Sometimes we spray each other with the water or blow soap suds around the kitchen. It seems a little childish, but that's what makes it so great. The carefree feeling of it all.

"Sorry," I apologize meekly after a moment of silence, "You know I space off sometimes." Melanie smiled as she glanced over at me.

"I know," Melanie confirmed, "But I was about to ask you something important." My interest perks up some more as I place the clean and dry plate into the dish holder.

"Well, ask now," I encouraged, "I'm all ears." Melanie rinses off on last cup and takes the liberty of putting it away before I get a chance to.

"Have a seat," she instructed. I nodded and sat down comfortable at her white table area. She sits across from me and looked downward.

"Well. . ." I began, trying to pry into the thoughts running through her mind.

"Well. . ." she mocked, "I'm. . . nervous."

"About what?" I asked with a small smile.

"Asking you this," Melanie said softly.

"Then just ask," I told her, "You've got nothing to worry about." She takes in a deep breath and nods her head.

"Okay then," she breathed, "I wanted to ask you out." Oh goodness gracious. I can feel my mouth part slightly as I absorb her words.

"Ask me out where?" I asked dumbly. Yeah, like I didn't know. . .

"Out on a. . .date, I suppose," she mumbled, "Just the two of us." Just the two of us? HELL YES! But hell no. Josephine.

"Um. . ." I can see the sadness in her eyes as I fall silent.

"You know what? Just forget it," Melanie dismissed as she smiled awkwardly, "I shouldn't have asked. Just. . . nevermind." I sigh as she stands up abruptly and walks over to the sink. She begins to aimlessly wipe away invisible water around it before I stand. I walk over to her and gently rested my hand on her shoulder, causing her to face me.

"It's not that I don't want to," I said softly, "I just. . . can't." She turned and faced me, her brown eyes wide with confusion and curiousity.

"Why can't you?" she asked.

"Because. . ." I trailed off and shrugged, not wanting to seem like an idiot who's controlled by his own daughter.

"If you just don't like me that way, it's fine," Melanie breathed, "I don't need you making up some-"

"Mel, it's definitely isn't that," I told her earnestly, "You have no idea how much I like you." My stomach knotted up as the words left my mouth. I never said that out loud before.

"Then what's the problem?" The blush in her cheeks was too cute for words and the innocent smile she wore caused my own smile to form.

"Josie," I told her simply. Her face flattered and her bottom lip protruded slightly.

"She doesn't like me?"

"No, she likes you," I assured, "Just not the idea of us liking each other." Melanie nods understandingly.

"Well, maybe you should tell her that it's okay for you to date," Melanie suggested.

"Oh, she knows that," I told her, "It's not me dating that's the problem, it's just that she doesn't want something bad to happen between us. She's afraid Ashley won't be her friend anymore if things don't work out."

"So, I guess that's a no on the date, huh?" I looked down at her and shrugged.

"I guess," I mumbled reluntantly, "I promised we'd remain strictly platonic."

"I'd hate to make you go back on your word," Melanie said, "I guess we're friends then."

"Yeah. . ." I sighed. We stood there in an awkward silence before Melanie cleared her throat.

"I'm going to check on the girls," she announced hurriedly as walked around me and disappeared behind the kitchen door. I groaned in frustration as I stared down into the sink.

Being a great daddy sucks major ass. . .


-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-


A week later, Melanie and I are in an awkward stage. A place where we both know we like each other, but can't do a damn thing about it. I was close to telling Josephine that I'm sorry, but couldn't un-like Melanie, but she interrupted me with a long story about how great Ashley is and how close they're getting. She now considers Ashley to be her 'bestest friend ever'.

How cute is that?

It's all I ever wanted for Josie. She'll finally has someone she's willing to open up to, so how I can risk that to see whether or not Mel and I can work? I'd rather die than to watch Josie go through life without a single true friend. But it's so hard not to want to just give up on this act of mine. I see Melanie every single day. Morning, afternoon, sometimes evening. With Ashley being permanantly attached to Josephine, there's no escaping her presence.

Not that I want to.

Being around Melanie isn't bad. Even when it's awkward. Just knowing that I'm near her is good enough. Like now for instance. She sitting on the opposite end of the sofa, watching Power Puff Girls while Ash and Josie giggle at something. Her hair's out and tucked behind her ears. She's wearing shorts and a t-shirt. Her face is make up free and a pair of hoops are dangling from her ears. Simply beautiful.

And she's not even trying.

"Dad, can we go to six flags or something?" Josie asked when a commercial for the theme park began to play.

"Sure," I answer absentmindedly as I watch Melanie stand up and stretch. Her small belly pokes out as she leans back and moans. Damn. If she makes noises like that when she's just stretching, it makes me wonder what she does doing other things. . .

"DAD!" I jerk slightly when Josie's loud and annoyed voice rings in my ears. Ashley giggles and Melanie tugs down the hem of her shirt before taking a seat.

"Sorry," I mumbled, "What's wrong?" Josie narrows her eyes at me and groans.

"Nothing," she grumbles, "I'm just tired."

"Do you want me to tuck you in?" I offer while standing.

"No," Josie said with a swift roll of her eyes, "I'm fine."

"Jos-"

"Goodnight," she interrupts before jogging up the stairs. Ashley soon follows and I'm left standing there, alone with Melanie.

"She seemed angry," Melanie said, stating the obvious, "Aren't you going after her?" I shook my head and fell back against the couch.

"No," I told her softly, "Josie needs to cool off first. We'll talk in the morning." Melanie nods and sinks back into the softness of her sofa.

"So," she began before trailing off.

"So. . ." I mocked.

"Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, I could use a snack," I said as we both stood.

"I don't have much," Melanie informed me, "But I have fruits and stuff."

"Stuff is good," I told her jokingly. She smiled softly and swung open the fridge.

"Well, stuff includes chocolate, chicken, rice crispy treats, left over chinese-"

"Got any ice cream?" I interrupted.

"Of course," Melanie said in a 'duh' tone. She shut the bottom portion of the fridge and opened up the top, "Butter Pecan sound good?"

"Of course," I mimicked. She playfully rolled her eyes and grabbed the gallon from the fridge. I walked over to the dishes and pulled out two bowls before grabbing two spoons. We both walked over the table and Melanie took the liberty to scoop out chunks of the ice cream into a bowl.

"Here ya go," Mel said gently as she handed me the bowl. I took it from her hands and handed her the next one.

"Thanks," I mumbled through a mouthful of ice cream. Melanie laughed and I rose a brow, "What?" I couldn't help but chuckle lightly at her contagious giggle.

"You've got ice cream on your cheek," she informed me. I wiped my hand across my face, but failed to pick up anything.

"Are you just fuckin' with me?" I smiled and Melanie laughed again.

"No, it's right here." Her smile and delicate fingers smoothed over my cheek before her thumb wiped over the corner of my mouth.

Oh goodness. It's one of those cheesy romance moments. The one where we both become somewhat hypnotized by the sparkle in each other's eyes as we slowly lean in and share a gentle kiss.

I really wish I was one of those people who could control themselves. If I was, then maybe I wouldn't be leaning downward. Then maybe I wouldn't watch as Melanie's eyes slid shut. Maybe I wouldn't feel my own eyes do the same. . .

I'm so glad I'm not one of those people.

If I was, I wouldn't be overwhelmed with the warmth of Melanie's mouth. I wouldn't be standing here, cupping her cheek in my hand and slipping my tongue past her lips. I wouldn't feel my heart flutter in my chest as Melanie moans in content as her fingers run through my short curls.

She was a really good kisser. The way her mouth worked against mine as her tongue ran over mine was just. . .damn. Why didn't we meet sooner?

"Wait," Melanie breathed the moment we pulled apart for air, "What are we doing?" The moment she said that, I pulled away. What the hell was I doing? I promised my daughter this wouldn't happen. . .

"I think I should go," I announced. I didn't wait for Melanie to answer, I simply turned and walked away. I was out her door before I knew it and in my car seconds later. My mind began to blur with images of Nakia and Josephine. I broke my promises to both of them. I pledged my eternal love to Kia. I promised Josie that I wouldn't risk her friendship with Ashley. . .

What the hell was I thinking kissing her? I'm just making things awkward. I was deceiving my child. I was breaking my vows. . .

I'm going to hell for this.

  The Reasons Why


I've been avoiding Melanie like a plague. Ever since our kiss, a ton of guilt washes over me when I see her. I wasn't being fair to Mel, I know. She didn't deserve to get the cold shoulder from me. But Josie was more important. Her feelings were my biggest concern.

I haven't told her about anything yet. I tried, a million times within the last month, but when she turned and said 'what is it, dad?', I couldn't bear to let the words slip from my lips. Not only because she trusted me enough to keep a promise I broke, but because I saw Nakia in her green eyes. I could picture the pained expression that would contort her features before she cried. I could hear her heart break as she wailed 'I hate you'.

"Justin, this is ridiculous." My mom sighed heavily as she twisted a blonde curl of her hair, "Josie'll understand that it's time for you to move on. Especially if this Melanie girl makes you so happy." It was my turn to heave a heavy sigh.

"I don't want Melanie and I not to work out," I said softly, "Her and Ashley would probably fall apart."

"Justin, please," she rolled her blue eyes, "If you love Josie enough not to be with Melanie, than you'll love her enough to put up with her if ya'll break up." I never actually thought about it that way, but it didn't take the guilt out of betraying Nakia.

"What about Kia?" I mumbled sadly. I casted my eyes downward before my mother could catch a glance at the tears forming in my eyes. I don't understand why I'm feeling so bad about dating Melanie. I've dated other women and never felt this damn guilty.

Maybe it's because nobody ever came close to Nakia. I never thought any of them were worthy enough to take her place. But Melanie. . . I don't know. I'm scared that I might be able to connect with her. To care for her. To love her.

"What about her, Jay?" my mother asked softly.

"What do you mean 'what about her'?" I snapped, "She's my wife."

"She was your wife," she corrected, "She's been gone for five years, Justin. You have to move on."

"I commited myself to her-"

"'Til death do you part," mom reminded, "You lived up to your commitment, hun. It's okay to want to be with someone else. Kia wanted you to move on, remember?"

"What if she was just saying that?" I asked, "You know how Kia was. She used to say things because she wanted you to feel better and not worry about her. What if she secretly hated the idea of me moving on?"

"No woman in their right mind would be completely thrilled to see the man they love find someone else, but she was realistic. She knows everybody needs to be loved, Justin. Nakia wouldn't be selfish and make you go through life alone." I knew my mother was right, but the thought of loving someone else made me want to vomit. Yet, at the same time, it made me feel all warm inside. I liked the idea of having someone to wake up to every morning, but at the same time, I was terrified.

All of my relationships ended tragically. Mostly cheating, but still. . . What if Melanie and I end in some horrible fashion? Be it cheating or cancer. Putting my heart out there again left it vulnerable to destruction and devestation. I used to be willing to take that risk, but the older I get, the more I less willing I become.

"This is just too much right now," I huffed as I stood, "I have to pick of Jospehine." I glanced at my Rolex and rolled my eyes, "I had to pick her up ten minutes ago." I quickly grabbed my keys from the kitchen counter and slipped on my black sandals.

"Justin, I want you to tell Josie today," my mom said as she peered over her shoulder in my direction, "She'll understand, okay?" No, not okay, mother. She won't understand.

"We'll talk when I get back," I mumbled quickly as I opened up my back door. I slammed it shut behind me and started to walk along the long path leading up to my driveway. I spotted my Mercedes and unlocked the door. Once I was inside, I started putting on my seat belt. I hissed when my skin came in contact with the hot ass metal buckle and rolled my eyes. I'm going to have a really bad afternoon, I can already feel it.


-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-


Being right is a pain in the ass.

I couldn't find Josie when I pulled up to her private school. There were numerous amounts of children still running around and I was in a state of panic. I spotted a few of her friends and they told me she was waiting for me and that's all they saw of her. The sick feeling in the pit of my stomach caused me to want to scream in agony. First Sears, and now this? What the hell is wrong with me? One of those creepy paparazzi guys could've taken her, but I don't see a single Camera in sight.

Right when I thought I was going to explode with worry, Ms. Diamond, Josie's math teacher, appeared and informed me she left with Ashley and her mother. I thanked her, hopped into my car, and drove down to Melanie's. The problem was that I didn't see her car. I called Melanie's cell phone in desperation, praying that they weren't in some horrible accident on their way home. It went directly to voicemail and I left a brief message. I drove down to the diner we had dinner in several times before, I went to local parks, checked out every toy store within a twenty mile radius, but still came up empty handed.

Then, finally, the brilliant idea of checking my home came to mind. I drove up those hills like a mad man and was relieved to see Melanie's small Toyata Corolla parked out front. I jumped out of the car and opened up the front door, expecting to see Josie and Ashley giggling at a mindless cartoon joke, but instead, there was Melanie.

"Hey," I squeaked out, "Wh-Where are the girls?" I asked.

"Your mother took them for the night," she answered, "So we could talk." Oh goodness, talk was never a good thing. I hate 'talks'. The usually end up being arguments that lead to more fights and drama. Silence is a much better thing.

"Talk about what?" I asked dumbly, slowly strolling over to my creme colored sofa. Melanie scooted over some and lifted one of her legs onto the couch.

"About the whole kissing thing," Melanie explained, "About you running out of the kitchen the way you did." I blushed slightly as my punk ass moment and sighed.

"Sorry," I told her, "I was just. . ."

"Scared?" she questioned meekly, "'Cause I was." I looked up into her eyes to see if she was lying or not.

"Why?"

"I don't know," she said with a shrug, "I haven't felt like this in a while."

"Like what?" I asked curiously.

"Like. . ." she gestured to the aura around us, "this."

"Oh," I said slowly, "This."

"This," Melanie repeated, "And I'm scared of this."

"So am I," I confessed, "I really don't know what this is, but it's complicated."

"It shouldn't be," Melanie laughed drily, "Two people like each other; they do something about it."

"There's so much inbetween though."

"I know. . ." Melanie sighed, "Josie's your big issue, right?" I nodded.

"What's yours?" I could see her tense up at my question, "Nevermind."

"No, no. . . it's okay," Melanie assured, "I should probably tell you so you can see where I'm coming from. It's only fair."

"Okay," I said softly. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to know what her issue was. I didn't even know she had a freakin' issue. She didn't see the least bit uncomfortable with flirting with me and the only time I saw her panic was when we kissed.

"Ash's father, David, was the first and only guy I was ever in love with," Melanie began her tale cautiously, "We met when we were little. Six or seven actually. We were friends until I was seventeen. He kissed me on our prom night and we were 'together' after that. I guess we were kinda perfect. Best friends and in love. The type of couple everybody hates, but wants to be. . .Anyway, when I was twenty-eight, I got pregnant with Ashley and I thought we would be a family and whatnot, but David didn't want to be a part of that. He denied Ashley completely and even told me get an abortion." My chest tightens as she bows her head down. I could've sworn I heard her sniffle, but didn't get a chance to ask if she was okay.

"Well, anyway, after I told him I wouldn't, he started to change. He started staying out more and then one day, he just didn't come home," she paused, "I found out he moved to New York a month before Ashley was due. He had a new apartment. A new job. A new life. . . He just started all over again and failed to mention it to me. I still don't know how he could just up and leave like that, but I accepted that things were what they were and raised Ashley alone. I had family and friends, of course, but things were still hard." I nodded and fiddled with my fingers.

"I'm sorry he did that to you and Ashley," I said softly, not really knowing what to say, "If this compensates for anything, I know you're a wonderful mother and deserve much better than David's dumbass." She smiled softly.

"Thank you," she told me appreciatively, "That does mean a lot to me. Especially since it's coming from you." A silence between comfortable and uncomfortable washed over us and I sighed.


When something is broken
And you try to fix it. . .


"I'm sorry for kissing you," I blurted out, "I shouldn't have. It just made things harder."

"Please, don't apologize for that," Melanie said gently, "I only regret not kissing you sooner." She blushed at her own words.

"We can't do anything," I said suddenly, "Josie won't accept it."

"Did you try talking to her?" Melanie asked.

"Well. . . no."

"Then how do you know?"

"Because I know my daughter," I breathed, "Mel, she won't accept it."

"Justin," Melanie practically, "I've never felt so strongly about someone before. I don't want to scare you or anything, but I can't stop thinking about you kissing me." Those words were like symphony - music to my ears.


Trying to repair it
Any way you can. . .



"Mel-"

"Justin, please," she pleaded, "Give us a chance." She stared up at me with sad eyes and I glanced down at my white Forces.

"Mel. . ." I sighed, "I just. . . I don't know."

"Come on, Josie can't be that stubborn," Melanie reasoned.

"It's not only her," I admitted, "I don't know if I can. . ." I was praying I wouldn't do some pussy shit and end up crying in front of her, but the thought of being with another woman scared the shit out of me.


I wanna love you
But I don't know if I can. . .


"Why not?" Melanie asked gently and I started wondering why she cared so much. I've been giving her a hard ass time about us and she's still wanting to be with me. I would've given up on myself by now if I was her.

"Because. . . I still miss my wife." Her sympathetic look made me feel even more pathetic then before.

"That's okay," Melanie assured, "Sometimes, I miss David. What we had before things went wrong. . ."

"I don't think I can love anyone else," I blurted out.

"I'm not asking you to love me yet," Melanie said, "I'm just asking you to try us out and see where we can go. . ." Say okay, Justin. Say okay. . .

"If Josie's okay with it, we can. . .try," I told her, "I really to, Melanie."

"Me too," Melanie smiled softly, "So, it's up to Josie, huh?" I nodded my head.

"I want her happy too."

"Okay then. . ." Melanie breathed.

"Okay. . ." I repeated. Then there was silence.

"So, are you hungry?" Melanie asked. I nodded.

"Yeah, I can cook. . ." I offered.

"You cook?" I was somewhat insluted by her shocked expression.

"Yeah. . ." I said in a duh tone, "What do you think Josie's been eating for the last five years?" I chuckled as we stood.

"Take out," Melanie answered. I playfully glared in her direction and she smiled.

"You're lucky I'm in a good mood," I told her, "What do you want?"

"Um. . .whatever you're willing to cook," Melanie said as she took a seat at my round kitchen table.

"Chicken and rice?" I questioned.

"Sounds good," Melanie commented.

"Okay then," I mumbled distractedly while I rumaged through the freezer for some chicken breast, "Care to help?"

With her perfect smile spread across her face, she nodded her beautiful blonde head and said, "Sure, why not?" Her graceful stroll over to where I stood seemed to have put me in a trance. My heart fluttered, but broke in that very moment. Melanie was bittersweet to me.

I hated to like her, but I loved it all the same. I really hoped Josie will accept this.


Song Credit(s):


"X&Y" - Coldplay

The Confusion


"No."

I don't believe it.

"What?"

"No, dad." And it's getting clearer. . .

"What?"

"No!" Josie screamed, scaring the shit out of me, "I said no! No! No! No!" Then tears from nowhere flow heavily from her eyes as she crosses her arms over her chest. I'm tempted to join her cryfest after hearing the one word I'm beginning to hate.

No.

"What do you mean 'no'?" I asked, "Don't you want daddy to be happy?"

"All I asked you to do was not like her and you liked her anyway," Josie sniffed, "You promised."

"I know," I sighed, "But, baby, Melanie's really great, so I couldn't help but like her."

"Find someone else who's great," Josie huffed. I sighed again before I fell back onto her Hello Kitty covered bed and groaned.

"Josephine," I said softly, "Daddy really likes Melanie."

"I really like Ashley too," Josie whined, "She's my best friend, daddy." I quickly turned my head to face my daughter, surprised at her words.

"Really?" I asked. She nodded her head before I reached over and cupped her chubby cheek.

"I don't want you and Miss. Thomas to break up and make Ashley hate me forever," she mumbled.

"She won't hate you, okay?"

"How do you know?" I don't.

"What happens between Melanie and I won't really affect you and Ashley."

"What if ya'll divorce?"

"Baby, we're not even married to get divorced."

"Fine, what if ya'll got married and then divorced?" I rolled my eyes.

"Josephine, you're being negative here," I breathed, "What about if Mel and I got married and you and Ashley were sisters? Wouldn't that be nice?"

"No," Josie pouted, "I don't want you guys to get married."

"Why not?"

"Because!"

"That's not an answer." Before I could see it coming, a wail so sharp and painful escaped Josie's lungs. All I could do was jump up in surprise and watch as tears ran down her face.

"I hate you!" Josephine screamed, piercing a hole right through my heart, "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" She tossed herself onto her bed and buried her face into the pillows.

"Josie," I whispered, hurt and stunned.

"Just. . . go away," she whispered softly, "Leave me alone." I felt so helpless as I stood there, watching her breathe heavily as she sniffled and hiccupped. I wanted to cry myself. She told me she hated me. Granted, I was smart enough to know that she didn't really mean it, but at the same time, it still was a hurtful statement.

"I just want you to think about this," I said softly, "I'll check on you later." She responded with a sniffle before I turned and walked out of her room.



-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-


It's been about two days since Josie's 'I hate you' outburst, and I must say, things have gotten progressively worse. She refuses to speak to me or Ashley, which in turn leaves me in a very awkward position with Mel. We spoke on the phone once and Josie was groaning and whining the entire time, so much so that I had to hang up and yell at her about respecting my phone calls.

It was weird discipling her because it was never necessary before, but it was bad enough she was controlling my love life, let alone my friendship with Melanie.

"All right, you can watch t.v.," I said, closing Josie's math book and handing it to her. She takes it from my hand without giving so much as a glance.

"Can I call Ashley instead?" she asked. I smiled softly.

"So, ya'll are speaking again?" she shrugged.

"She asked me to call her," Josie said, "I thought I'd do it since there's nothing on t.v." My smile flattered, but I waved her off and scurried over to the phone. She grabbed the cordless and ran up the kitchen stairs. I sighed and stood from the round table, pushing in both mine and Josie's chairs. As I walked into the living room, the ringing of the doorbell caught my attention. I sighed heavily and tried to remember if anyone said they were coming over tonight. Nobody in particular came to mind, but I opened the door anyway.

"Mel?" I breathed as she stood before me. Her radiant smile was spread across her gorgeous face and provoked my own.

"I'm sorry I didn't call first," she apologized as she hugged me quickly.

"You don't have to call," I said, "You're always welcome here." She laughed lightly and glanced around the living room.

"Thanks, that's sweet," Melanie told me, "So, by any chance, is Josephine here?" I raised a brow.

"Uh, yeah. . ." I answered, "She's upstairs. She actually was about call your house for Ashley."

"Oh, that's fine," she informed me, "Steph's watching her for me, so she's home anyway."

"Okay. . ." I gestured towards the sofa, "Have a seat." Melanie flopped back onto the sofa and I plopped down next to her.

"So, how are you?" she asked.

"I'm good," I said, "You?"

"Same." I nodded, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. This wasn't the normal conversation I was used to having with Mel. All this small talk is annoying.

"Good," I replied, "That's gr-"

"We shouldn't do this," Melanie blurted out.

"Excuse me?" I was confused.

"This," she stressed, as if I had a clue, "We just can't. . ."

"What 'this'?" I asked.

"Us," Melanie explained, "You and me. Whatever future relationship we thought could happen, can't."

"What do you mean?" I asked innocently, "You and me haven't even started yet."

"I know. . ." She sighed, "And it can't ever start."

"I don't understand, Mel," I told her, "Are you breaking up with me or something?"

"Look, we can stay friends, but no other stuff can go on between us," Melanie babbled, "Josephine doesn't approve of us and-" She cut her sentence short, "We just can't, okay?"

"No, not okay," I argued, "So, Josie doesn't accept it now, but she'll have to eventually-"

"Justin, no," Melanie stood, "I don't want there to be an 'us' anymore."

"What are you talking about?" I stood as well, "You're the one who asked me out first."

"I know, but. . . I wasn't thinking," she dismissed, "That doesn't even matter anyway. I'm allowed to change my mind." By this time, Melanie was already at the front door, her hand on the knob.

"But we were just discussing this yesterday," I reminded, "So your feelings just changed overnight?"

"I guess they did," she snapped. My eyes narrowed, my ego bruised by her harsh tone.

"Fine," I growled, "I guess we're over."

"I guess so too." The door opened and Melanie walked through before slamming it shut. I finally let go of the breath I was holding and frowned.

What the hell was that about?

The Phone Call


"She looks just like you," Melanie observed as we watched Ashley and Josephine run around freely in my back yard.

"She looks just like Nakia," I corrected, almost defensively. I couldn't tell if it was because I was still angry with her over the supposed break up or if I was scared that it was true. If Josie looked like me instead, I would lose the one tangible thing of Kia I had left that wasn't tainted by her illness. That was something given to me because of our love, not because she wouldn't need it anymore.

"Well, I'm sure," she replied nonchalantly, "I guess that since she's been around you so much, she seems to look like you more. You know what I mean?"

"No." By the look on her face, I knew she felt the sharpness in my curt response. I wasn't trying to be rude. It always came naturally when I was hurt or confused. My defense mechanism, I suppose. Melanie grew silent as she sat next to me on my back porch's swing, staring at the two beautiful girls before us; carefree and happy just to have each other's company.

I glanced over at Mel and remembered that that's exactly how she made me feel. Childlike and carefree. I wondered if she was thinking the exact same thing in that moment, but didn't bother to ask. I chewed my bottom lip and looked back at the girls. Talking used to be something I was good at. There were times when Nakia would tell me to shut up, playfully, of course, because I talked enough to even run her patience dry. Now I can't find the words to form a sentence. Even when I do, they come out jumbled and misplaced. Melanie's sudden change of heart has more of an affect on me than I'd like to admit.

"You know what? Maybe I should go." My eyes traveled up in her direction as Melanie stood.

"You don't have to leave," I said in an unconvincing tone.

"I just think that a week is too soon to be around each other."

"Why?" As if I didn't know.

"Because of what happened between us," Melanie explained, "Ashley can stay, but this is too awkward." She chuckled nervously and I continued to stare at her as she tucked a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear. Part of me wanted to ask her to stay, for me. The other part, my pride, whose ego was too big for its own good, decided that she should go.

Guess which part I listened to.

"Fine, if you want to leave, you can," I told her, "I'm not begging you to stay."

"I never asked you to."

"Than leave," I said. We were in a staring match now. Her dark brown eyes collided with my blue ones and neither of us wanted to back down. Melanie, with a heavy sigh, reluctantly looked over at the girls. I followed her gaze and spotted both Ashley and Josephine staring at us curiously. Had we been that loud?

"Dad?" Josie called quietly. I frowned when she looked between Melanie and I.

"Yeah, Josie?"

"Is everything okay?" Ashley asked for her.

"Everything's fine," Melanie answered with a fake smile, "Just keep playing."

"Where are you goin'?" Ashley asked, jogging over to the porch where her mother was standing. Josephine trailed behind, her eyes staring intently at me.

"Home."

"Why?" Melanie looked over at me before looking back at Ashley.

"I'm tired, honey," she said, "I was going to take a quick nap and pick you up for dinner." I watched as Ashley pouted and nodded her blonde head.

"Okay," she said, "But can they come over for dinner?" She gestured toward us and Melanie looked down at the ground briefly.

"Josie can." Sticks and stones, my ass.

"Can't Mr. Timberlake?" Ashley asked before I cut in.

"No, that's okay, sweetheart," I assured, causing everybody to look at me, "I have plans to eat with a friend tonight." I saw Josie's eyebrows perk up at the news and Ashley giggled.

"You have a date," she squealed.

"I do," I lied, "So, don't worry about me, okay? I'll be fine." I didn't bother looking at Melanie as she said goodbye to Ashley or when she came by later that evening to pick her and Josie up. It was only until after they left that I realized that I wish I didn't make up that lie about having a date. Maybe I could be having dinner with my daughter rather than by myself.

I'm sure they were having a full course meal, while I, on the other hand, decided to settle for a traditional T.V. dinner. The silence of the house seemed louder than any sound I've ever heard. I used to relish in the rare occurances that I had peace and quiet, but that was because they were exactly that - rare. There was always somebody who wanted or needed to be around me. I made the decision to have their company or not. I got to choose my quiet times. Now they come along frequently and completely uninvited. They leave me sad and confused and, worst off all, lonely.

I missed Nakia in times like this. Times where silence would be filled with memories of her, so brilliantly encrypted into my mind that, I swear, the smell of perfume dances in the air and makes my lungs tingle.

I missed my grandfather and how he would call out of nowhere and ask me to play a song. Anything from Jimmy Hendrix to Elvis to Prince and Garth Brooks. Then he'd critique my performance, giving me advice on how to pluck the strings or tune them. Sometimes Nana would take the phone from him and promise to make me the grandest peach cobbler if I'd fly home that very minute and gave her some 'sugar'.

I glanced over at the phone longingly before peering over at the stairs as if Gramps would call or Kia would come gliding down the steps in all her glory. I guess if either occurred, I would be more afraid than open minded to the situation.

As soon as that thought passed through my mind, the phone rang and sharply broke into the silence of the room. I hesitated for a moment, contemplating the possibility that it might be my dead grandfather calling from Heaven. It rang again and I figured that I could just sit there and wonder and pick up and find out.

"Hel. . .lo?" I said slowly as I pressed the phone to my ear. I heard breathing for a moment and my heart picked up speed.

"Uh. .. is this Justin?" I furrowed my brows.

"Who's this?"

"It's Stephanie," she said, "Mel's best friend." My heart slowed and a smile spread across my face.

"Hey, Stephanie," I greeted, "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize your voice."

"Oh, that's understandable," she told me, "I wouldn't expect you to. I hope you're not busy." I looked down at my T.V. and rolled my eyes.

"Nothing that can't wait," I assured, "So, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. . . Everything's fine," she replied, "But, I kinda wanted to talk to you about Mel."

"Okay. . ." I mumbled cautiously.

"Look, I know this may sound a bit awkward coming from me, but she wants you." I cleared my throat and chuckled nervously.

"Well, Stephanie, I. . .um. . ."

"I know, I know. It's not my business, but then again it is," she said, "I know what happened between you two and I begged her not to do it, but you know, people never listen."

"I don't really understand why-"

"I know," she interrupted, "But that's what I'm trying to explain."

"Okay."

"Did she ever tell you about that sperm donor?"

"Excuse me?"

"Ash's father."

"David?"

"Yeah, that asshole," she confirmed, "He came by the other day and she's been off ever since."

"Why? What happened?" Despite the fact that I should've been having this conversation with Melanie, I found it surprisingly easier to talk to Stephanie.

"Because he wanted to see Ashley again and things just erupted. She doesn't want him to be near her and is now convinced that Ashley shouldn't be attached to any man because they're all dogs. Or something like that, I don't know. She's crazy."

"But what does that have to do with me?"

"Geez, I don't know. Dating you would kind of put you a in a position where you'd have to be a part of Ashley's life."

"I'm already a part of her life."

"I told her that," Stephanie sighed, "She didn't want to hear it. Besides, I think David might've suggested some type of relationship. I'm a little foggy on the details though." I felt a pang of jealously in my stomach and coughed.

"So, what now?" I asked.

"Well, for starters, you could've been having dinner with us instead with yourself."

"Who said I was alone?"

"The fact that you're home and not busy did." She chuckled lightly.

"Well, Mel didn't want me to come."

"She doesn't know what she wants," Stephanie dismissed.

"Well, until she does, I don't know what I'm suppose to do."

"Come and get her!" Stephanie suggested enthusiastically.

"Now?" I asked.

"No, not now," she groaned, "Tomorrow. Eight-ish."

"What? Why?"

"Because I said so."

"And?"

"Do you want her or not?" Stephanie said, annoyed.

"I do, but-"

"No buts," she interrupted, once again. "I'll get the girls for the day and you come on by. Wear something comfortable. Easy removal."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing," Stephanie said quickly, "Gotta go. Bye." She hung before I could protest or question anything she had just said and I stared at the phone in my hand for a moment before hanging it up.

But did she say what I thought she said?

 

The Awkward Situation

When I arrived to Melanie's house, I was dressed in a baby blue polo shirt and khaki slacks that hug loosely on my frame. I shaved and wore a silver watch on my right wrist that glimmered with diamonds. I ran my hand over my head and played with my curls for a moment before taking a deep breath. I don't know why I was so nervous, it was only Melanie.

Okay, so it's not just Melanie. She's so much for than a just. I wish that I could think otherwise because I feel like a teenager all over again. Sweaty palms and butterflies. Practicing what I'm going to say and worrying about my appearance. I honestly spent more time getting ready for this dinner than I have for the Grammy's. I wanted to look good, but not so good that she would know I was trying to impress her. I wanted to be comfortable, but not look like a slob. I wanted her to look me up and down approvingly and not because she thought I was completely desperate.

Even though I think I am.

"Dad, are you going to knock?" I averted my eyes to my left side and saw Josephine looking up at me expectantly. For a moment, I forgot she was standing by side.

"Yeah, sorry, baby," I said quickly before I went to knock. Before my first could come in contact with the wood, the door swung open and Stephanie greeted me with a huge smile.

"Well, look who finally showed up." I couldn't tell if she was mad or not, so I plastered a smile on face.

"Sorry," I apologized, "Josie held me up."

"Me?" Josie asked, "You're the one who was in the mirror for an hour." I glared at her and she pretended to zip her mouth shut. I turned back to Stephanie who giggled before patting my arm.

"Don't worry, it paid off," she said, "You look very handsome." I smiled confidently.

"Thank ya kindly," I told her, leaning down to kiss her cheek, "You look good too." And she did in her lime green mini skirt and black hoodie. The woman was very. . . colorful, to say the least, but she wore it well. I guess she's one of those people who can wear a trash bag and make it look like Versace.

"Well, thank you kindly," she chuckled before turning to Josie, "You're daddy and Miss. Thompson are going to have dinner here and Ash, you, and I are going to Dave and Buster's, okay?" Josie's face lit up and she grinned. She absolutely loved Dave and Buster's. It was a supersized arcade with a resturant on the side that had everything from General's Tso's Chicken to an all-American burger.

I actually wished I was going until Melanie finally made her appearance with Ashley running ahead of her to hug Josie. She looked at me with wide eyes and I felt uncomfortable. The way Stephanie looked at her, I could tell that some information wasn't shared between the two.

"Hi," I said, trying my best to rid of the awkwardness. Melanie licked her lips and folded her hands together.

"Hey," she replied, "I thought that Stephanie was suppose to pick Josie up at your place."

"Oh. . ." I looked back at Stephanie who pretended to be too busy playing around with the girls to look at me, "Well, I decided to save her the trip."

"Okay," Stephanie said, "We're out."

"Wait, out where?" Melanie asked.

"Dave and Buster's." Stephanie replied, already ushering the girls out of the door, "We'll be back in a couple of hours."

"But I made dinner," Melanie whined. Stephanie pretended to think for a moment, "Why don't you just eat with Justin?" I looked at Melanie as she continued to stare at Stephanie.

"But I made a lot of food," she said. I felt somewhat insulted that she didn't want to be alone with me, but at the same time, I didn't want to be alone with her either. I didn't know how to act or what to say.

"I'm sure Justin wouldn't mind seconds or thirds," Stephanie said, "Right, Justin?" I blinked and looked between the two of them as Ash and Josie continued to whine for Stephanie to come along.

"I. . . um-"

"Good!" Stephanie interrupted, "Be good. Have fun. See ya later!" She ran out the door and slammed it shut behind her, leaving me alone with Melanie. Silence engulfed us and I hesitately turned to face her. Melanie looked up at me with nervousness pouring from her eyes.

"So. . ." she began before clapping her hands for no reason, "How about some food?"

"Food's. . . good." I figure that eating would keep my mouth occupied and prevent me from saying something I'd surely regret.

---------------------------------------------------------

It took about an hour, but Melanie and I are actually having a decent conversation. Well, it's more of a game of twenty-one questions, but it's better than sitting around in tense gaps of silences that seem louder than noise. We're laughing at the story she told me about her mother and an egg incident, don't ask, when a knock at the door interrupts us.

Melanie excused herself before getting up from the couch we were sharing and heading towards the door. I took my cup of tea that was resting on a coaster at the edge of her wooden coffee table. I barely take a sip before I hear Melanie whispering.

"Leave. Now!" I listen a bit closer and the sound of a male's voice cuts through the room.

"Will you at least talk to me?" he asked before Melanie groaned.

"There is nothing to talk about," she told him, "Whatever issue you want to discuss should've been discussed years ago."

"Mel-"

"David, please. Just leave." I stand up when his name is said. My legs seem to have a mind of their own as they walked right over to the door and stopped when I was behind Melanie. They both haulted their discussion long enough to notice me.

"Is everything all right?" I asked looking right at David. His eyes are as blue as mine, but bigger. He looks completely harmless, but by the pained look on Melanie's face, I could tell that he was far from it.

"Everything's fine," Mel answered with a heavy sigh, "David was just leaving." I could see them exchange looks, a silent argument, I suppose.

"Actually, I was hoping to speak with Melanie alone." My defense shot up immediately and I took a step closer to Mel.

"Well, I think she wants you to leave instead," I told him, placing my hand on her shoulder. I was surprised to feel Melanie's hand to rest on top of mine before she looked back up at David.

"I think so too," she confirmed. I fought a small smile from my face as David's shoulder's slumped.

"I'll talk to you later," he said to Melanie before narrowing his eyes at me. I just offered a small smile and waved as he walked away. Far from mature, I know, but he had caused Melanie more stress than she alreay had, and in my book, he deserved to be mocked.

"Thank you," Melanie said, dropping her hand from mine as she slammed the door shut. I removed my hand from her shoulder and shrugged.

"I didn't really do anything," I told her, "But are you okay?" She frowned and shook her head and rubbed her temple.

"I shouldn't have opened the door," she said to me as she walked back over to the sofa. I sat as she took a seat and sighed.

"He shouldn't have came here," I argued.

"I know, but, like always, I let him in."

"What do you mean?" Melanie tensed up at the question and shook her head.

"Nothing. . ."

"Mel-"

"Justin, I really appreciate your concern, but there's some things I don't feel comfortable sharing with you." Her statement was reasonable, but hurtful all the same. I didn't expect her to be completely open with me, but to hear her say it still stung. I just nodded my head and looked down at my hands.

"So. . ." I began, trying to think of something to say, "Got any other tales about your mom and eggs?" Melanie offered me a small smile that gently curved her lips, but it faded quickly as she shook her.

"No," she answered quietly.

"Well, I'm sure you got some things to tell me about Stephanie." I tried to laugh, but it came out dry and fake.

"Maybe some other time," Melanie mumbled.

"Okay. . ."

"I'm sorry," she apologized, "I'm not being a good hostess."

"No, no," I said, "It's fine."

"It's not fine," she impugned, "You're just too nice to tell me that."

"I just figured that you wouldn't be as happy as before considering that that David guy popped up at your door, unannounced, I presume."

"Yeah," she breathed, "I shouldn't let him ruin tonight though. I was really enjoying your company."

"Sounded like the past tense there," I chuckled lightly.

"Oh, no, I didn't mean it like that," Melanie said, "I am enjoying it. . . Just not as much because now I'm just. . ."

"It's okay, I understand," I assured, "I should just go."

"No, don't go," Melanie said, "I don't want you to leave." I searched her eyes as she blushed at her words and looked brushed her hair behind her ears.

"Fine, I'll stay," I smiled, "We can. . . watch a movie or something until the girls get back."

"Sure," Melanie said, standing up and walking over to her television, "What do you want to watch?" I drummed my fingers on my knobby knees and shrugged.

"Whatever you want to watch." Melanie sighed walked back to the couch.

"In that case, no movies," she smiled, "I'd rather talk to you." I was flattered, but nervous because I had no idea what to talk about.

"Okay," I said, "What do you want to discuss?"

"What's on your mind?"

"That's a loaded question." She laughed, sending vibrations through my chest and causing me to laugh with her.

"Well, I have time to spare," she told me, "So, start from the beginning."

--------------------------------------------------------

I groaned tiredly as the sun blinded with its rays. My head had a numbing pain that came from my temples and it worsen when I tilted my head to the side. I squeezed my eyes shut and pulled the blanket back up my waist, smiling softly because of the warmth I instantly felt.

"Morning. . ." My eyes slid open to the most beautiful sight; a smile. A smile that belonged to Melanie, who's blonde hair was tossled from her sleep, but still glowed in the morning sun.

"Mornin'," I smiled. She wrapped her arm around my waist and snuggled into my chest. I sighed and squeezed her gently.

"Sleep good?"

"Great, actually."

"Good, good. . ." My fingers idly played in her hair as hers ran over the cotton fabric of my white t-shirt. I felt surprisingly content in the quiet of the room and the peacefulness of the morning we were sharing together until. . .

"Dad?" I jumped and my eyes averted to the spot where the voice came from. In the doorway with big, shocked eyes was Josephine.

"Josie-"

"Why'd you run off like that?" I can hear Stephanie asked before she appeared in the doorway. She quickly covered Josie's eyes and looked the other way. "Oh my god, I'm sorry!"

"No, it's okay," I can hear Melanie say as I continued to stare as Josie as she fussed and fought with Stephanie's hand. As if this couldn't get any worse, Ashley soon appeared as she pushed past Stephanie and Josie and right into the room. She adorably gasped and covered her eyes.

"Mommy!" she called for no reason. Melanie slipped out of bed, dressed in shorts and a shirt, and gently removed her hands from her face. I followed her lead and climbed out of bed in my boxers and t-shirt, walking over to where Stephanie and Josie stood. To Josephine's relief, Stephanie had removed her hands from her face as I knelt down in front of her.

"Baby," I cooed, "Look at daddy." Josie moved her eyes from the spot on the floor she was just staring at and focused on me instead. I frowned when I saw the tears that welled up her big, green eyes.

"You promised. . ." she whispered, letting her tear run down her cheek. I reached to wipe it away, but she stubborned dried her own face and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I didn't mean to make you cry," I told her softly. She shook her head as though she didn't want to hear it before she began to sob.

"What about mommy?" she asked, "What about mommy?"

"Mommy's gone. . ." I choked out, now that I could see Nakia all over her face, crying because of what she saw.

"I hate you!" she screamed, "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" She turned and ran from the room, and down the hall. I looked back at Melanie who was now standing behind Ashley. They both stared at me with sad expressions. Stephanie sighed and ran her hand through her hair.

"I guess this is my fault," she said, "I set this up."

"It's nobody's fault," I assured, "I'm going to talk to her." I exited the room and walked down the hall, peaking my head in every room and calling out to Josie. I finally found her in the corner of Ashley's room, sniffling with her head against the wall. She didn't even look at me when I sat down beside her and looked down at her.

"I want to go home," she stated in an eeriely calm voice.

"Josie-"

"I want to go home." She stood and walked right out of the room. I stood and followed her down the hall before stopping at the top of the stairs and watching her run down them. I sighed and went up the other end of the hall and into Melanie's bedroom. Stephanie, Melanie, and Ashley were all seated on the edge of her bed when I walked in and began to gather my things.

"She wants to go home," I said to nobody in particular as I retrieved my pile of folded clothes and my watch from Mel's dresser.

"Can I go and talk to her, mommy?" Ashley asked. Melanie nodded and Stephanie volunteered to take her downstairs, leaving Melanie and I alone.

"She does know that we didn't. . ." Melanie trailed off.

"I don't know," I said, "She wouldn't even look at me."

"I'm sorry," she apologized.

"Don't be," I walked over to her and rubbed her arm, "She'll be fine." Melanie nodded and smiled down at her before leaning down and kissing her forehead. My lips lingered for a while longer than they normally would've, but they eventually separated from her as I turned to exit the room.

I got dressed in the bathroom before I jogged downstairs and slipped on my shoes by the steps. I found Josephine waiting outside by the car with Steph and Ashley by her side. I unlocked the doors with my remote and hugged them goodbye as Josie slipped into the car with a word. The ride home was hard, not only because of the silence, but because of Josie's words reverbarating through my head.

What about mommy?

The Vacation


"You got a little something on your lip."

Silence.

"Want me to get it for you?"

Silence.

"Are you dead or alive?"

Silence.

Okay, so maybe she wasn't over it. Maybe three weeks of giving her father the silent treatment just wasn't enough for her. Maybe she needs a day or two. Maybe a year or five. Whichever time she needed, it would feel like an eternity would have to pass before she looks me in the eyes and smiles again.

"Is it good?" I asked as I gestured toward her dinner plate, despite the fact that she was looking down at her food and not at me. "I sure hope so. I really put my foot in it, so I don't mind the grass." I smiled and waited for even a flicker of joy to pass her face, but my joke seemed to never hit her ears. My millionth joke since the incident and still nothing. That was painful considering Josie was the type of kid to laugh at a falling leaf.

"Can I be excused?" she asked quietly and I sighed.

"You've barely ate a thing on your plate," I commented as I looked over her half eaten chicken and poked at green beans.

"I'm not hungry."

"You haven't been hungry in a while," I said sadly, "Is your tummy okay?"

"My tummy's fine," she mumbled, "I guess the grass from your foot is making it taste funny." There was absolutely no humor in her statement as she stood and placed her plate in the sink.

"I didn't excuse you," I said, trying to hold onto my parental control.

"You didn't do a lot of things," she shot back, crossing her arms over her chest and looking away from me with her nose in the air.

"Watch your tone, Josephine," I stated firmly, "You can be angry all you want, but I'm still your father and you still have to respect me."

"Whatever," she whispered.

"What?" I asked, "What did you just say?"

"Nothing," she answered. "Can I just go to my room?"

"Yes, you can," I said, "And stay there until you find a better attitude." She rolled her eyes and jogged up the back stairs. I breathed deeply and closed my eyes, trying to figure out what to do. I wanted conversation, not a fight, but I guess I couldn't get what I wanted this time, or any other time I've attempted conversation with Josie over the last few weeks.

It seems to be a trend because I can't seem to get a conversation out of Melanie either. Whenever I call, she never seems to answer and since everything went down, Josephine hasn't even spoken Ashley's name. All this because I wanted to remember what if felt like to have someone wrapped up in my arms again in the most romantic sense I could ever fathom. Even though everything has been shot to hell because of it, I can't help but smile at the memory and enjoy the flutter of butterflies in the pit of my stomach as I remember the gentle and shy touches we had and the little giggles Mel shared with me through the night.

It wasn't some animalistic, sexual foreplay, it was just. . . play. Carefree, light-hearted play between two adults who shared a feeling of curiousity and attraction - both physical and intellectual attraction. How could I regret something so innocent? Yet, I do find myself feeling guilty. Is guilt and regret the same? Does one come before the other? Can they work separately or is denial a way of keeping the other out of a person's view for a while before it finally strikes them?

I don't even know anymore. All I know is that when Josie spends more time in her room staring at her walls than talking to me, I feel guilty. When I lay down in bed at night and look over to the side Kia once occupied, I feel guilty. When I look down at the wedding band on my figure and twist it around, wondering if it was time to take it off and start over again, I feel guilty.

When is it ever right to move on? To forget the one you loved to love someone else? Is that even possible? Is it fair to love Kia more than I could ever love Melanie? Would it be fair to love Melanie more than I loved Kia? I know I'm way ahead of myself with the love business, but am I really? Love has no time setting. I could wake up tomorrow and swear it up and down that I'm in love with Melanie. What do I do then?

"Oh, I'm sorry I'm late." My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of JC trudging into the kitchen with two bags of groceries. I glanced over at him as he placed them on the counter and watched as he made his way over to Josie's seat. "She gonna finish this?" I picked up my fork and shrugged.

"I don't know, but I doubt it," I said, "I've got some more-"

"This is good," JC said after already stuffing a piece of chicken into his mouth.

"That has kid germs all over it, dude," I laughed when he waved me off.

"We're family, man," he spoke through a mouth full, "We don't have germs." I rolled my eyes at his ridiculous theory before eating some green beans.

"Thanks for coming over," I said after swallowing, "I think I would go crazy if I spend another night in this house."

"It's all good, man," JC assured, "I know she's being stubborn, but you can't blame the girl. She learned from the best." I smiled to myself.

"Yeah, well, my stubborness is one trait I wish she never got from me."

"She was lucky enough to dodge your looks, so you can be thankful for that." I shoved him playfully and chuckled.

"I officially hate your ass."

"Love you too, brother."

"Uh huh," I mumbled, "What's in the bag?"

"Junk food," he answered, “Ice cream, chocolate, popcorn, and all that other crap. She’ll be on a sugar-high all weekend.”

"That's comforting," I said sarcastically, generously pouring the rest of my food onto his practically empty plate, "But seriously, thank you. I want her to be in a better mood by the time I'm back." JC nodded with a mouth full of chicken.

"She will be doing cartwheels when you come home," he said confidently, "I guaran-darn-tee it." I smiled and nodded, just as sure as he was that she would be.

"Well, I can't argue with that, now can I?"

"Nope," he smirked, "But you can definitely do me a favor while you're gone."

"Which is?"

"Which is. . ." he trailed off, making me raise a brow.

"What?"

"Promise me this, okay?"

"Depends. . ." Now I was worried. He seemed a little too serious.

"Just promise me, okay?"

"JC, what is wrong with you?"

"Ugh," he groaned, "Promise, will you?!"

"Okay, man. I promise," I sighed, "What is it?"

"Get laid on vacation." I wrinkled my face with confusion and disgust before pushing him.

"You are such an ass."

"No, I'm serious."

"I know and that's what's the sad part."

"No," he argued once again, "The sad part is that you haven't been getting any. I think it'll help you relax. You know. . . loosen you up."

"So. . . what? I'm suppose to grab the closest hooker and bump 'n grind?" I asked rhetorically, "If you've forgotten, I've got a daughter and some self-respect. I'm not doing that shit anymore."

"Fine, fine. . ." JC mumbled, "But consider Mel. Do that Timberlake charm thing on her and-"

"Timberlake charm?" I asked, "Do you know how old I am? My charm is out the window."

"It is not," JC scoffed, "You're plenty hot." I gave him a sideways look and he cleared his throat. "You knew what I meant. . .but that was still kinda awkward."

"To say the least," I said, "But thanks, I guess."

"Yeah. . . well. . . look, all I'm saying is that this woman likes you and you like her. As long as she's down for it, I don't see what the problem is."

"The problem is that I can't even literally sleep with her without Josie freaking out. How do you expect her to accept the sex?"

"Have you ever tried not telling her every aspect of your love life?"

"Yes, but she reads my mind, man," I told him as he rolled his eyes and laughed, "I'm serious! She has that women's intuition down pact."

"She's a kid."

"No, she's a grown ass woman in disguise. I'm telling you, I can't get anything past her."

"Then learn to put your foot down." He turned in his chair to face me. "Look her in the eyes and say that even though you promised, your feelings have changed. Say that you love her and that you want her happy, but you want to be happy too. Let her know that Melanie is not taking Kia's place, but just. . . helping you heal. Helping you get past things and let go. Tell Josie it's okay that you're moving on."

Even though JC said Josie, I felt that he was directing that speak to the both of us. Trying to comfort me with my decision to try again as well as give advice about the Josie situation. He was always good at killing two birds with one stone.

"I'll try it," I said, "But I don't know, man. . ."

"I'll talk to her too, okay?" JC told me more than asked, "I'll throw indirect comments about the problem and try to egg something out of her."

"Alright. . ."

"Alright!" JC said more cheerfully as he patted my back firmly. "Now, you go 'head and shower. Mike's getting you in like a half-hour, right? Have you packed yet?"

"Yes, mother," I mocked, "I'm packed and ready to go. I already showered before dinner and Mike is getting me in a half-hour."

"Just making sure. . ." he said sheepishly, "Enjoy Virgina. Lots of good views and a gorgeous ocean."

"Yeah, I guess." I stood from the table before JC could start his 'cheer up' speech. "I'm going to talk to Josie before I go." He nodded as I headed up the stairs at a jogging pace. I trailed up the hall and straight towards Josie's room. The door was shut and there was no light coming from the crack beneath the door, so I knocked. When I got no response, I tried the knob. The door opened accordingly and I stepped inside.

Huddled in a ball in the center of her bed, fast asleep. I had the smile at the scene. Her Hello KItty blankets were tossed to the side of her bed and she was still dressed in her denium overalls and white t-shirt. Her hair was a sprawled across her pillow and she was hugging something to her chest. I figured it was just a nameless toy I had gotten her, but when I moved closer to her bed, I saw it was a picture frame.

Careful not to wake her, I tugged the frame from her hands. She sighed and shifted as I took a seat on the edge of her bed. The framed photograph was one of Kia, Josephine, and I all laid out by the pool. Kia sat in front of me and Josie sat in front of her and we created a line from tallest to smallest. It was a happy moment. A precious second of our life that wasn't tainted. A moment I wish had lasted longer. My heart tightened in my chest as a feeling of nostalgia passed over me.

I missed my family. My little unit of love. Something I wished I had spent more time enjoying than running away from. If only I could go back. If only Kia would come back.

"Oh, Josie. . ." I whispered as I set the frame aside and leaned over her sleeping form, "I miss her too. I miss how we were, but I can't change what we are today. I can't bring Mommy back. . . Even though I wish I could. . . But she wanted me to move on, baby. She wanted me to find somebody that was good enough for the both of us and that's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to find somebody to make us happy again. I need you to support me though. I need you to understand that it's hard for Daddy to move on too and that sometimes I miss Mommy so much that I feel guilty when Miss. Thompson makes me smile or laugh. . ." She turned on her side, facing me. I brushed her hair from her face when it slid down her cheek and sighed.

"You mean the world to me and I want you happy, but I want to be happy too. . . and I know you want me to be happy, but you're scared. So am I, but I'm willing to try and find happiness again. I need you to be willing too." I stared down at her as she snored lightly, not even aware of my existence. The silence that took over the room was heavy, but comforting. It was way better than the bickering that Josie and I have recently been doing.

"That was a nice speech." I abruptly turned my attention to the doorway to find JC leaning against the frame with his arms crossed over his chest. I smiled sadly and glanced back at Josephine.

"Too bad she didn't hear it," I said. He nodded in agreement and walked over to the bed, leaning over my shoulder to look down at Josie.

"Maybe you should try to say when she's actually awake. . . It might even work."

"Or not," I argued, pulling the blanket up to her chin and standing. JC backed up some, allowing me room to move towards the door.

"You never know unless you try. . ." I shook my head, knowing that I was being pessemistic, but not knowing how to be anything else.

"I'll just wait and see on Monday," I told him, "I got a flight to catch." I opened Josie's door and waited for him to pass through before walking out myself. As I pulled it closed behind me, I glanced back at my daughter and sighed. I was never really good with talking to her. That was Kia's niche.

"She'll get over it," JC said, "Go after Mel. She'll be a little pissed off, but she'll learn to accept it." I closed the door and turned toward him.

"I'm not disregarding her feelings for my own."

"This is something you really need," JC pressed on, "You can't deny yourself happiness."

"But I can deny her happiness?" He sighed. "That's what I thought." I turned up the hall toward my bedroom and closed the door behind me when I was tucked inside. I leaned against the door and closed my eyes. I wasn't even mad. I was confused. . . and fustrated. I was also about to be late. I took notice of the suitcases on my bed and my buzzing cell phone on my nightstand. It was Mike, I'm sure. I didn't bother answering, but I did pick it up and reject the call before grabbing hold of my suitcases and rushing right back out of the room when I heard honking from outside. JC wasn't in the hall, but as I descended upon the stairs I found him sitting on the sofa, staring at the blank television screen.

"I assume that's Mike," he said out of nowhere as I put down my cases and slipped on my coat.

"Yeah," I said, adjusting my collar, "I'll call when I land."

"Alright."

"Tell Josie I love her."

"No problem," JC said. I cleared my throat, pushing down the apology that came right back up.

"Sorry," I spat out before turning around and looking him. He was standing with his arms crossed against his chest, leaning slightly on the sofa.

"I know." I smirked at his cocky attitude before we both laughed. He then opened his arms and walked over to me, embracing me warmly. "Have a good flight."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I said, brushing him off, "Take care of my baby."

"Always." I sighed and looked up the stairs again, hoping to see Josie with wide open arms, willing to at least say goodbye to me appropriately.

She wasn't there.

I sighed to myself and gave JC a nod of acknowledgement before dragging myself and my suitcases out to the waiting Suburban SUV outside. Mike shot me a look of annoyance throw the mirror as I climbed into the backseat.

"Sorry," I mumbled as I clipped on my seat belt and leaned back against the chair, sinking into the soft, leather interior. The ride over to LAX was quiet. Mike must've since my need of solitude because he barely breathed. He didn't even turn on the radio like he always did, blasting some dusty old jam from way back when. It wasn't until we finally got to the airport that the noise came, loud and hard, not to mention completely inconsiderate of my vulnerable state.

But that was paparazzi for you.

I battled the flashes of light and the calling of my name until I was aboard my flight and wisked away into sleep once my head hit the pillow on my seat. I hated to fly and would usually be awake and paranoid, but today I decided that sleep was better than worrying. About Josie. About Melanie. About Kia. About myself. I needed just a few minutes of . . . nothing. Just nothing.

I ended up getting a few hours of sleep in before waking up just moments before we landed. I got butterflies in my stomach when excitement came over me. It had been too long since I've left LA and enjoyed the rest of the world around me. Way too long.

"Welcome to Virginia Beach, my man." I smiled when I heard his voice as my feet touched solid ground. Pharrell smiled at me, wide and sneaky, as usual.

"What's up?" I asked, doing our handshake and giving him a pat on the back.

"Nothing much," he said before I noticed a glass of alcohol in his hands.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it a little too early for that?" He laughed and shook his head.

"You used to roll out of bed with a bottle of wine in one hand and a 40 ounce in another."

"I'm gettin' old." I laughed, but I was serious as hell. I get a headache just looking at a beer now.

"Well, we gotta turn back the hands of time." The way he laughed after that told me that I should probably call JC now before I forgot my own house number and also told me that I would feel a whole lot better when I got home. A whole lot better.

"What are we waitin' for?" I asked, "Let's do what we do and do it right!"

I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

The Wake Up Call

 

It was mid-afternoon by the time I had rolled over in my bedroom and looked at the sun. It burned like a motherfucker, but I just hissed, squeezed my eyes shut, and vowed to never look at the sun again.

As I turned away, trying to get the rays of light as far away from me as possible, I bumped into something. . . rather someone.

I jumped back, hitting my head against the headboard and tried to focus on the body. It was hard to do, considering that a blanket was tangled all around it and only pieces of blonde hair and a button nose poked out.

"Melanie?" I whispered, reaching over hesitantly and brushing the hair from her face. It wasn't moving and it wasn't Mel.

"Yo! JT!" I turned toward my bedroom door as banging ensued. The girl didn't budge and I thought she could've been dead.

"Please don't be dead. . ." I whispered, leaning over her body to hear any breathing. She snorted and rolled over. The blanket dropped down as she laid on her back, revealing her breast. I closed my eyes and sighed.

I had fucked her.

Just what I needed.

"Jay, come on!" My head spun as I got up from the bed, crawling over her. I was stomping over to the door before I realized I was naked. I looked around my room for underwear, but opted for my jeans on the floor instead. I pulled them up my legs before unlocking the door.

"Stop yelling," I growled as I poked my head through a small crack.

"Damn, is she still sleeping?" Pharrell asked, trying to look inside. I put my arm up to block his view.

"Yes, she is."

"Damn. . ." He laughed. "And you said you didn't have that Tim charm." I mocked his laughter before snapping my fingers to get his attention as he tried to peak inside.

"Who is she exactly?" I asked slowly. He shrugged.

"You said something about a Tasha. . . Tonia. . . Michelle. . . I don't know." I sighed.

"You have to get her out of here."

"Or not." He turned to walk away and I grabbed his shirt.

"Dude, I have a little girl at home and a complicated thing with a woman that I really care about and the last thing I need is to tell some groupie that I'll call her and have her chasing me around like some lost puppy."

"Was it good?"

"Excuse me?" He had to be kidding me.

"The sex, man."

"I know what you're talking about, I just don't see the significance."

"If it's good, why not let her stay and make ya less cranky?"

"Are you deaf or dumb 'cause I can't tell."

"You need to relax."

"I came here to do that and I'm freakin' the fuck out now!" I whispered harshly before I heard a moan behind me.

"Who are you talkin' to?" Tasha-Tonia-Michelle-I don't know sighed.

"Don't worry about it," I called over my shoulder as nicely as possible. "Pha-"

"Are you coming back to bed?" I closed my eyes and Pharrell snickered.

"It must've been good for her, dawg," he laughed.

"Ha," I said drily.

"Justin?" Who ever she was, she needed to shut up.

"Pharrell's taking you to breakfast," I said as I turned to face her. She adjusted the blanket over her chest as I threw open the door. Pharrell smiled, but he was annoyed.

"Oh," whateverhernameis said.

"Yeah, so you can shower in his room and I'mma get ready up here, okay?" She slowly got out of bed and wrapped the blanket around her. I guided her toward the door and Pharrell glared at me.

"We'll be in the banquet hall," he informed me. I gathered her clothes.

"Don't forget these." She took them from my hands and looked at me confused. I felt bad, but not bad enough to let her stay. I waved them off and locked my door before falling back onto my bed.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!

-------------

I called JC and he told me Josie was somewhat missing me. I told him that was good enough because I was coming home.

"No, stay," he encouraged.

"I want to be home, Jace," I said, slipping on my sneaks, "This vacation is more stressful than relaxing."

"It's only Saturday."

"Afternoon."

"What difference does that make?"

"I don't know," I told him, "But I'm coming home now."

"No."

"You can't make me stay here."

"I can change the locks."

"I'd kill you."

"You can't touch me if you can't get in." I groaned.

"Why are you torturing me?"

"You're torturing yourself," JC argued, "You fucked a random girl, so what?"

"Joshua!" I scolded like my mother would, "Where's Josie?"

"Relax," he cooed, "She's out back in the yard."

"With who?"

"Bella, Barney, and Brownie," he said, "And I can see her and the dogs just fine from where I'm at."

"Don't talk like that, man," I said, "She might hear you."

"And find out her daddy's not a prudish homo? NO!" I rolled my eyes as he laughed.

"Everybody's a damn comedian today. . ." I mumbled.

"Maybe if you'd relax, everybody wouldn't have to try and loosen you up."

"Fine, I'll stay. . ." I sighed, "Get a massage or something. . ."

"Really?"

"Yes, really.. . "

"That's more like it," JC said, revealing his smile through his words, "Oh and that Melanie lady came by looking for you."

"Are you serious?" I whined. "See, this is why I needed to be home."

"Calm down, she just wanted to know if her kid could stay over next week because she's going somewhere or something like that. . . "

"Where is she going?"

"I don't know," JC brushed off, "But can she?"

"Sure," I said, "I'll call her and let her know."

"Okay, I'm gonna let you go," JC said, "The brownies are finished."

"Brownies?" I asked, "You never cook brownies for me."

"You never ask," he said, "But I'm going."

"Wait, let me talk to Josie."

"No, you can't right now."

"Why not?"

"It's too soon."

"Too soon for what?"

"For any type of communication."

"I just wanna say I love you," I said, "Let her know I'm fine."

"I can do that for you," he assured me, "Just do you, okay?"

"But-"

"Bye!" He hung up before I got another word in and I closed my phone as I sighed.

"One and a half more days. . ." I told myself, closing my eyes and rubbing my temples, "One and a half more days. . ."