Chapter One

“Your pregnant aren’t you?” I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and glared at my long time friend Courtney.

“Can you hand me a hair tie please?” I asked not bothering to respond to her question.

“JC is going to flip. I can’t believe your pregnant! What the fuck are we going to do?” She said as she rummaged through my bathroom cabinets.

While living with my two roommates Courtney and Meredith, I have come to know everything about them. It’s no surprise with all three of our boyfriends being best friends, as well as the three of us, that even the smallest most personal detail of our lives have become known facts.

For instance, Courtney is terrified of spiders. Not just big spiders, any spiders. She also hates onions and even the smell of onions will make her sick. She loves to sing Zoobalee Zoo in the shower and will throw her own mini-concerts while blow drying her hair.

Meredith has a knack for cooking. She won’t let most people know but when she wants to she can cook like nobody’s business. She also is a boyfriend stealer- well ok not really. Back before she and her current boyfriend Justin got together, I had been interested in him. The two of us went out once and I was completely smitten with him. He however, was not. He came by the apartment right before our date to drop off some flowers, I wasn’t home and Meredith was. The two were one of those ’love at first site’ couples. Exactly three days after Justin told me he wasn’t interest in me that way and gave me the “I want to be friends line”, Meredith called and asked if it was okay if she went out with him.

Of course I said yes even thought at the time I didn’t mean it and was slightly heartbroken over the matter. No more than 2 weeks later , Courtney, Trace, Justin, Meredith and myself went out to a club owned by Justin and Trace’s good friend JC. The two of us got to talking after he split his drink on my shoes and we haven’t been apart since.

“Court, could you please just, shut up. I’m not pregnant” I finally say as she hold out the small brown elastic hair piece to me. I pluck it from her fingers and pull my hair away from my face and throw it up into a sloppy bun.

“Are you sure?” She asks her hands on her hips. 

I can’t answer her because I know the truth is not what she wants to hear. Am I sure? Hell fucking no. In fact I’m pretty sure I am pregnant. I’ve been sick for weeks, I’ve missed my period and I know they aren’t always 100% positive but when you take 15 pregnancy tests and they all say yes, your pretty much pregnant.

“Meg…..” She says. I push myself off the tiled floor and adjust my shirt before walking over to the sink and rinsing out my mouth.

“I have to get ready for work. Do me a favor and tell the guys I’ll be home a little late…” She nods her head and I brush past her into the hallway. I glance towards our other roommate’s closed door knowing fully well who else was in there with her.

I shake my head and continue towards my room. I slowly push open the door and let out a breath once my eyes land on the figure still peacefully sleeping in my bed. I quietly move throughout the room picking up random items of clothing that have been worn over the past week. I spot something red in the corner of the room and almost cry at the sight of it. That dress. That stupid fucking dress.

You know how people sometimes say you have a lucky dress? Or if your Beyonce you refer to it as your ‘Freakum Dress’ Well I thought this was my lucky dress. It had never let me down in the past and I had decided to ware it to my long time boyfriends birthday bash a few weeks back. Little did I know just how ‘lucky’ I could get in that dress. 10 tequila shots and 3 long Island Ice tea’s later I find myself waking up with a man who is NOT my boyfriend still wearing that dress.

Now I know I don’t remember a god damn thing that happened that night but it does not take a genus to figure it out.

Needless to say, it is no longer my lucky dress.

I bring myself back the task at hand and snatch up the dress crumpling it into a ball before I toss it into the hamper. I quickly finish and head over to the small night table by the bed and open the door as quietly as possible. The figure moves and I nearly scream when I feel a hand on my arm.

“Whoa, Hey……You alright?” He asks. I nod and let him pull me onto the bed beside him.

“I’m fine. Just a little nervous about work today. New client, you know how it is” I lie. I’ve become good at that. Sometimes they just come out of my mouth without even a second thought, even if it’s something so silly like why I was 5 minuets late- I’ll find myself coming up with some extravagant story about a huge 10 car pile up and a man in clown outfit in fear that if I say the wrong thing it will link back to that night and he’ll find out what really happened.

Trust me, I’m well aware of just how dumb that reasoning is but in some weird twisted way it makes sense so until this whole thing blows over, or I finally grow a set and tell him the truth, I’ll take it.

“Oh stop. Your going to be amazing and you know it.” He smiles at me and I have a fearful thought that it might be one of the last genuine smiles I get from him ever again. The thought alone makes me want to cry and I find myself moving off the bed and towards the bathroom. His hand stops me before I get far and he pulls me down so I could receive a short but sweet kiss.

“I love you and I don’t want you to worry about anything, your going to blow them away.” He says smiling before he places another kiss on my lips and then sets me free. I smile at him and hurry into the bathroom before the flood of tears starts trickling down my cheeks.

What kind of a person does this? What kind of person sleeps with the love of their life’s best friend and then proceeds to lie about it. What kind of a person let’s someone they love believe that everything is okay, when clearly everything is not.

I remember when JC and I first started dating and I had gone home with him for thanksgiving to meet his family. Off the bat I knew his brother didn’t like me. He kept sending me hateful glares and every time I attempted a conversation he’d change the subject or simply walk away mid sentence.

JC kept telling me over and over how Tyler just takes time to warm up to people. I really didn’t think that was the case but I wanted things with JC and I to work out, so I gave him another chance. Needless to say no more than two days after our conversation and a massive amount of his brothers 3 year old behavior, I had about all I could take.

We were all hanging around in the kitchen helping his mother and father as they prepared for dinner. I had brought a long my camera with me and was snapping pictures every now and then just to capture the moment. Tyler kept making remarks to JC like, “Could you be anymore annoying with that thing!” and “Do you have to take a picture of his every move?” but I kept my cool.

It wasn’t until JC and I were working on the homemade biscuits his mother had prepped the night before. She asked us to break off pieces of the dough and hand roll them into small balls. Within 10 minuets the two of us were covered in flour and it had to be the cutest moment in our relationship. That was until his mother suggest someone take a picture. So good old Tyler, picks up my 1,500 dollar Canon and offered to take the picture.

Hesitantly I turned to JC and he was oblivious to the smirk on Tyler’s face. He simply put his arms around me and pushed our faces close together. Tyler snapped the picture and I was about to let out a breath when, almost as if it was in slow motion, I watched the camera lazily slip from his hands and smash straight to the floor.

Now, normally I am a very cool and collected person. Accidents happen and if he offered some kind of apology or had any indication of guilt I would of sucked up the desire to karate chop his ass into the biscuits and simply pick up my camera and try to salvage what was left.

That however, was not the case. He laughed.

He fucking LAUGHED. And then said the one word that sealed the deal on my hatred for him.

“Opps.”

OPPS! Are you fucking kidding me!? I lost it, I blew up at him and while trying to pick up the pieces of my favorite camera I started screaming things to him I never knew I had the guts in me to say. I then raced up the steps and into the room his mother pegged as mine and dumped myself along with my 5 piece camera onto the bed and cried.

It took JC three hours to get me to calm down and when I finally stopped crying I asked him why he wasn’t honest with me. It’s not to say I didn’t know Tyler didn’t like me, I just wanted to believe JC when he said it would just take time. He kept apologizing and saying he didn’t want to hurt me.

Of course I said what any woman would say. “ I’d rather you tell me the truth and hurt me, then let me keep believing a lie.”

Talk about famous last words.

I could try and reason with myself and say that by not telling him, I’m avoiding any kind of pain he would go through if he knew the truth. But let’s be honest, that’s a load of crap and I know it. All that would do is add another reason to the list of why I should marooned onto an island with one bullet and a pistol.

I have to tell him and I have to tell him soon.

This is not going to be easy.

Today has to be one of the worst days of my life. As if listening to annoying publicists demanding pointless polaroids to show off to their bosses while I was trying to take a useful photograph, as well as stuck up celebrities who roll their eyes at the thought of doing something other than standing with a white backdrop and a 5,000 dollar gown adorning their barely there figures.

I now have just completed my shitty day with a visit to the dear old doctor. In return for peeing in a cup and giving them some of my blood they rewarded me with the news that my life is now officially over.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

Not to mention the drive home couldn’t be any better. Two hours of grid lock traffic and I have had to pee since I ran out of that doctors office. I begin fiddling with the radio in hopes of finding some type of music that will calm my nerves rather than make me want to bash my head against the steering wheel.

I play with the knobs finally settling on a classic rock station which is currently playing “Take the Money and Run” by the Steve Miller Band. Interesting concept although ‘taking the money and running’ isn’t really an option for me.

A sigh of relief comes over me when the beginning of Coldplay’s ‘Yellow’ comes through my cars speakers and I can honestly say for the first time today I am not trying to pull my hair out.

Maybe god doesn’t hate me after all.

I turn up the volume and smile as I sing along with the familiar words. I glance at the road ahead of me and notice my exit coming up.

The phone beside me begins shaking, an indication that’s it’s annoying ring will soon follow. I quickly pick up my blue tooth and shove it into my ear pushing the ‘connect’ button on my phone as I wait for the small beep letting me know it’s working.

“Hello?”

“Hey Meg” Meredith’s excited voice rings over the phone.

I should of know God was only teasing me with Coldplay. He truly DOES hate me.

“Hey Mere” I reply turning onto my exit.

“Are you almost home?” she asks. She needs something. I can feel it, it’s her ‘I hope you not close to home cause I forgot to pick up milk’ tone.

“I just pulled off the exit. Why, What’s up? You need something?” I ask.

“ Now that you mention it, would you mind stopping by the store and picking up some soy sauce? I’m making stir fry for dinner and forgot to tell Justin to pick some up on his way over.” She said as I sucked down a breath.

I hope to god she didn’t head my ‘gulp’ over the phone.

“Wh- Why don’t you just call him and ask him to pick it up now?” I asked already turning my car in the direction of the store.

“I tried but he isn’t picking up his phone. Pleeeeaaase Meg!” She begged

“I’m already there. Do we need anything else?” I ask as I push the release on my seatbelt and grab my purse before heading towards the door.

“No that’s it! I’ll see you in a few minuets!” She said.

“Yup, see you soon.” I snap the phone shut and pull the blue tooth out of my ear and push it into my purse.

If there was one thing to know about Meredith it would be that she never takes no for an answer. The words, “I can’t do it”, “it’s impossible”, or “I’ll never get this” do not exist to her.

When she wanted to put a book shelf into the apartment we were all hesitant since we really didn’t have much room to begin with. But Meredith pulled out the measuring tape and inch by inch rearranged furniture for hours to prove that we could fit her desired book shelf into the living room.

She then proceeded to buy all of us in the house 1 or 2 books almost every day for 2 weeks until we each had to so many we were going with her to the furniture store to order the shelf.

The girl is smart.

Glancing around the grocery store I spot the isle I’m looking for and head straight for the soy sauce. I grab two bottles of the closest one and head right for the check out.

“Meg!”

Oh no. No, no, no, no. no- Anyone but Ju-

“ Hey Justin” I say scratching my neck with my one free hand as I force myself not to look away.

“So, what brings you here?” He asks as he begins to put his few items onto the conveyer belt.

“Just, had to pick a few things for dinner.” I say as I clutch the soy sauce closer. Why is this taking so god damn long! I nearly jump out of my skin when I feel his hands over mine pulling the bottles out of my hold.

“What are you doing?” I ask pulling them back.

“Whoa, chill, I was going to pay for those for you….” He said his eyes wide. I step away from him putting more distance between us and shake my head.

“ I can take care of it myself thank you. I don’t need any help from you, I’ve got plenty already!” My own eyes were wide as the words left my mouth. Why am I freaking out on him? The man just wanted to pay for 2 bottles of 4.00$ soy sauce and I choose that moment to try and bite his head off.

Justin puts his hands up in surrender and says nothing as he pays for his items and steps out of the way. I place mine on the counter and shove them into the plastic bag before handing over the money and walking towards the exit.

I didn’t expect for him to be there but he was waiting for me at the end of the small walkway to the door. I walk slow and fumble in my bag for my car keys and I feel his hand on my arm stopping me in front of my car.

“Look, Megan….Are you still freaked out about last week? I thought we agreed to just lay low and let it die. We- we were drunk, we don’t even know-“

“I know. God-I- I’m sorry Justin. I didn’t mean to freak out on you.” He nods and pats my arm.

“You know, Meredith was trying to reach you.” His eyes light up at the mention of her name and I finally take note of the flowers in his hand.

“Oh yea?”

“Yes, she needed you to pick up a few more things for dinner.” I watch as he adjusts the several bags in his hand and looks back at the store.

“Don’t worry, I got it.” I say holding up the bag of soy sauce.

“Oh, Ok. Are you eating dinner with us?” He asks . I nod and push the ‘unlock’ button on my keys.

“Ok. Well, I’ll see you there okay?” He turns towards his car but never breaks eye contact. The boy has more manners than anyone I’ve ever met in my life.

“Okay. See you in a little bit.” I get into the car and place the bottles of soy sauce on the passenger seat beside me. I turn the ignition on and push play on the CD. I need some therapy music.

One again the soulful sounds of Coldplay fill my car and I’m at once more relaxed than a few seconds prior. I pull out of the parking lot and make my way towards the apartment in which holds a stress filled nerve-racking dinner.

I try and clear my head, enjoying the last few stress-free moments and turn up the volume.

Thank God for Chris Martin.

--------------------------------------

“Megan could you pass me the rice?” Meredith asked as she placed the container holding the broccoli and chicken down beside me. I reached between JC and I picking up the small dish and handing it to her.

She put a small portion onto her plate and handed it to Justin. Her eyes narrowed at him as she spotted the object she had told him to get away from her dinner table back on his head.

“Justin Randall take that damn hat off!” Justin reached up to pull down the brown “UPS” hat he still had on from work. He didn’t have the chance to change so he still had his uniform pants on but a plain undershirt instead of his formal one. He also insisted on wearing his hat backwards. Meredith normally didn’t care, in fact she thought it was adorable but she wasn’t having any of that at the dinner table.

I can’t stress enough how awkward dinner has been. Not only am I seated between the two people I care about the most and betrayed the most, but I have my betrayal staring me in the face and it’s proof making me nauseas at the same time. My doctor warned that the food nausea was soon to come and boy did he mean it.

“Baby you okay? You hardly ate anything.” JC said his face full of concern. I felt myself tense when he put his hand on my head trying to sooth me. It wasn’t helping, him trying to consol me was, unknowingly to him, making me feel worse.

“I think I’m catching a cold or something. “ I lied. No surprise there. He smiled sympathetically at me and placed his hand on the back of my head bringing me to him. He placed a loving kiss on the side of my head and hugged me to him.

“Do you want to lie down? I can fix you some soup.” I shook my head. The last thing I want to do is make him wait on me hand and foot.

“No Thank you . I think I’ll just go lay down.” I turned to Meredith and forced a smile. “Thank you for dinner Mere. It was fantastic, sorry I’m such a downer.” She smiled and patted my shoulder.

“You go lay down. I’ll send JC in after he helps Justin clean the dishes. “The two boys groaned and we both giggled.

“Thanks.” I said sincerely my stomach turning faster as the moments went by. I stood up quickly and hurried out of the room and towards the bathroom.

The door closed and I quickly turned on the water before shoving the toilet seat up and practically throwing my face into it.

Oh the joys of being pregnant.

After I was finished my hand reached up to flush the toilet and I used the other to balance myself on the wall as I stood up. Not only could I not keep any food down but I was starting to get more and more light headed as the days went on. I waited a few seconds waiting for my vision to come back and those annoying blue and red dots to disappear.

Slowly I made my way over to the sink not bothering to turn off the water and rinsed out my mouth. I reached under the cabinet and pulled out the mouthwash as well as my tooth brush. As tired and sick as I felt I really didn’t want to take a nap with vomit breath.

When I finally finished I looked up into the mirror at my reflection. My hair is all over the place most of it having escaped the hair piece I tried to put it all in. My mascara had begun to run under my eye and my brown eye shadow was mushed into the side of my face.

I look like shit.

Deciding to delay my nap for a few more minuets to wipe the make-up off of my face I quickly grabbed a towel from the bathroom closet and rinsed off the crap from my face.

I dropped the towel on the floor of the bathroom not bothering to take the 3 seconds to put it into the hamper. I shut off the light and made my way over to my bed kicking off my slippers on the way. I hadn’t realized how exhausted I was until dinner. Now, with my head resting on the pillow and the covers pulled up to my chin I can’t help but let my eyes close as I drift off to the sleep, praying I’ll wake up and find this all to be a bad dream.

Chapter Two

“Baby?” his quiet voice startled me and I jumped slightly when his hand touched my forehead.

“Hu?” my eyes tried to adjust to the light but the only light coming into the room was from the bedroom door her left open, the rest of the room was pitch black.

“Hey, how ya feeling?” He asked as he pushed the hair out of my eyes.

“A little better. What time is it?” I asked as I pushed myself to sit up.

“It’s almost 10. I just wanted to see how you felt and I brought you some Aspirin.” He said holding out the two little white pills in his hand along with a glass of water. I smiled at him and was about to reach for the pills when Dr. Roenstiens words rang out through my mind to avoid Aspirin.

“No thank you. I’m okay, just a little tired.” I said a yawn escaping me.

“Sweetheart you should take something.” He insisted offering the pills to me again. I shook my head and gently pushed his hand away.

“Josh, I really don’t need them.” He once again held them out towards me.

“Come on baby, it couldn’t hurt.” I felt myself becoming annoyed with him and silently counted to 5 before once again refusing the pills.

“Meg they aren’t going to kill you. I just don’t want you to feel bad honey.” He said clearly not taking no for an answer. I couldn’t help the words that flew out of my mouth but I instantly regretted them.

“Would you PLEASE just STOP with the pills Josh. I don’t want to take them okay? I JUST want to go back to sleep.” From the look on his handsome face I knew he a little hurt by my sudden attitude but I couldn’t help it. These hormones are driving me insane and trying to keep them hidden is making them worse. I started to turn away from him and I felt the bed shift as he moved. Probably wanted to get away from me and shitty attitude and I couldn’t blame him.

Suddenly there was a weight on the bed and I turned back to see the pills on the counter top and Josh taking off his shoes.

“Well, some extra sleep will do us all some good.” He said as he lifted up the blankets and climbed into the bed with me.

“Scoot over woman.” I smiled as I moved even closer to him and he groaned pushing me to my side of the bed as he got comfortable. Once situated I felt his arms encircle my waist as he pulled me over to him lacing our fingers together over my stomach.

I turned my head to smile at him and he leaned down to softly kiss my lips. He then placed a kiss on my nose, cheek and forehead before placing his mouth right my by ear.

“I love you.”

The pang of guilt I have started to become accustomed to when he said that had returned and I swallowed the tears that had built up in my throat. I hoped he didn’t notice the length of time it took for me to answer but I sucked it up and closed my eyes as I whispered back the reply he waited to hear.

“I love you too.” His arms tightened for a brief moment before his body relaxed and he fell into a deep slumber.

________________________________________________________

Flushing the toilet I turned my head as the door to bathroom opened. My heart began to race as I tried to think of an excuse as to why once again, I was throwing up. My mind began to throw a million words out at me that I could barely piece together one thought.

“Meg? Is that you?” Courtney. Oh god. It was just Courtney.

“Yea it’s me Court.” I said. She pushed her way in and shut the door leaning against it as she looked at me. She didn’t need to ask, I didn’t need to confirm she knew.

“Oh Megan, what are you going to tell Jace?” I felt a knot in my throat and a cry came out before I could answer. I didn’t realize how badly I needed to cry until I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Almost as if she had opened up Pandora’s box I knew this was the beginning of the end. There was no hiding the truth from Courtney and once I told her it would only be a matter of time before I let everyone else in on my secret.

“It’s not his.” I said barely above a whisper. Her eyes widened and look of utter disbelief covered her features. She shook her head and walked over to me grabbing hold of my arm and pulling me up from the floor.

I looked her straight in the eye and the tears kept falling as I again said the words I dreaded.

“It’s not his court. It’s not JC’s.” I broke down for what felt like the 100th time that week and Courtney pulled me into a hug.

“Shh, we’ll figure this out Meg…….I don’t have a clue how, but we’ll figure it out.” I continued to cry as her words didn’t do anything more than upset me.

“There is no ‘figuring it out’ I know who’s it is and if I tell it will just make things even worse. For everyone.” Her eyes widened and I could tell she was thinking of the other two men in the house.

“Meg, is it….” She took a small step back too look at my face and shook my head.

“No, it’s not Trace’s.” The look on her face didn’t change and she shook her head.

“ I wasn’t going to ask if it was Trace’s.” She said. A confused look covered my face and she took another step back but kept her hand on my shoulders.

“Look, We all know you had a little thing for Justin, and now that I think about it the two of you had disappeared for a little during Jace’s party….”

What.

The.

Fuck.

“ Court, I don’t have a thing for Justin!” I said getting defensive. They are NOT going to turn this entire thing around on me. He had just as much to do with it as I did.

“I’m not saying you DO, I’m saying you DID.” She clarified as I shook my head. “Look, if something did happen between the two of you, you should just come clean now and get it out into the open. Don’t make things worse for yourself Meg.” She said

“He’s just as much to blame as I am.” I said and I heard Courtney gasp.

Shit.

“So it is Justin’s.” She said. I panicked, this is it. This is the moment in which my life becomes unbearable. I could try and lie my way out of it, or come clean.

“Yea. It’s Justin’s. “ I confirmed.

------------------

Pull.

Nope.

Pull.

Nope.

Pull.

Rip.

Great. Fan-fucking-tastic. I just ripped my favorite jeans. Pregnancy is over rated and this is becoming way to much of an image strain. One Month pregnant and already my jeans won’t zip up. Is this some sort of record?

As I continued to try and search for a pair of pants that will actually zip up my bedroom door opens and in walks the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. He really is just fucking gorgeous. I mean, yes right now things between us are fine, as far as he’s concerned. And as much as I wish I could turn back the clock and re-do the dreadful night, I can’t. So I’ve decided to live it up with JC until all the cards are laid out on the table.

When would that be? Well, I’ve calculated it in my head and it’s between 3 choices. First. if Courtney rats my ass out to Trace, Second if JC notices I’m not just ‘bloated’ I’ve actually got a person under my shirt or Third if I finally grow a set and tell JC the truth.

I opt for none of the above so therefore, the lying and dishonesty shall continue.

“Hey Baby.” He looks at me and smiles and I can’t help but feel my heart flutter like an awestruck teenager.

“How was the gym?” I ask as he walks over to me. His cheeks are still flushed and he has the faint smell of a workout on him. I guess pregnancy really does heighten your sense of smell.

“It was good. “ He said kissing my cheek as he walked by me towards the drawer we designated as ‘his’. He fussed around before pulling a few items of clothing out.

I watched him as he held up a shirt to examine it before tossing it over his shoulder and shutting the drawer. He quickly turned to me and I darted my eyes away but it was too late.

“What are you looking at?” he asked with a smile. I sighed defeated and caught and slowly walked towards him.

“Nothing. Just my gorgeous boyfriend.” I crossed my arms behind his neck as his hands made their way to my waist.

“Gorgeous ey? I’ll have to agree with you on that one. You sure know how to pick em!” He said with a smile. A small laugh escaped my lips as I leaned up to kiss him. He returned the kiss before pulling back to look at me.

“ You know what? Your not so bad yourself” A smile creeps over my lips for what feels like the 100th time since he’s walked into the room.

“And do you know what?” I ask leaning up to kiss him shortly.

“What?” He asks nuzzling our noses together.

“ I love you a whole lot.” His smiles makes its way from his lips straight to his eyes and I feel as if I’m living someone else’s life. Someone who deserves the look on his face. The one that tells me how much he loves me without him saying it. The one that’s so assuring and confident it makes me want to cry.

Leaning up he cups my face in his hands forcing me to keep eye contact with him. He brings my face to his, kissing me softly before pulling away and bringing me into the most comforting hug I’ve ever had.

“ I love you. And you better just get over it because your going to be hearing that everyday for the rest of your life.” Oh god if only that was true.

“That sounds like heaven to me” I say my voice cracking before I could control it.

“ Mmmmm, me too baby. Me too.” He gives me one last peck before pulling away and heading towards the bathroom.

“I’m going to shower.” JC said as he walked through the door.

“Okay.” I said as I pulled open my drawers continuing on my quest for pants that actually fit.

“Perhaps you should too.” Raising my arm over my head I sniffed my armpit and shrugged.

“ I’m not the one who was just all sweaty and smelly at the gym mister.” He shook his head and turned back towards me leaning against the door frame.

“ Hmm, no your not all sweaty. But I could think of a few activities in which you could get sweaty and hence may need a shower, or we could just kill two birds with one stone….”

“What the hell are you-” The playful wink he tossed over at me finally set in and the smirk on my face could not be contained. Dropping the items in my hand I quickly ran over to the bathroom door giggling as I shut it behind me.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Walking down the hallway the next morning I spot Meredith in the living room balancing a cup of tea in one hand and a book in the other. The thought of just telling her and coming clean like Courtney has said flashed into my mind and before I could stop myself I called out to her. 

“Hey Mere?”

“Yea Meg?”

“Can I talk to you for a second?” She nodded and moved away from the couch she was currently inhabiting and made her way over the kitchen. Closing the door The two of us turned towards each other and slowly sat down at the small round kitchen table.

“So……what’s up?” She asked. I forced myself to drop my hands down from playing with the drawstring on my over-sized hoodie.

Once I couldn’t find a pair of pants to fit I resorted to work out pants I’ve never used before in my life. With the mental note that my pants don’t fit all I could think about was everyone else noticing that. So I found one of JC’s large sweatshirts and have been wearing it almost as a shield. The look isn’t out of the ordinary for me, well it kind of is since I started dating JC, not that I completely changed my style for him but I always made a little bit of an effort for him. Now? Well, his best friends baby is kind of preventing that from happening.

“I just needed to talk to you about something.” I said. Right as if this is just a ‘need to talk to you about something’ type of topic. This is a ‘Please don’t HATE ME and plot my murder while I’m sleeping’ type topic.

Good Job Megan. Fucking up already.

“What’s going on Meg?” She asked getting a little antsy. I looked up at her face and noticed that she had a look of concern and confusion all rolled into one. The last thing she should be, is concerned about me!

Shit.

I can’t do this. Not now. I can’t tell her yet. This isn’t the time or the way. I can’t tell her with her looking at me with concern. This isn’t fair to do to her! Quick think of something else to say! Think of something to tell her!

“I’m pregnant” I blurt. “And it’s not JC’s….”

Good one asshole.