Madison Fox

Justin Timberlake

Jc Chasez

Trace Ayala

Beth Preston

Chelsea Clark

All images were taken from a Google image search.

Lacey Schwimmer

Justin Timberlake

Jc Chasez

Trace Ayala

Rachel Bilson

Ashlee Simpson

"Welcome back to TRL folks. Right now, we're going to head over to MTV news, for the story of the day...take it away, John."

"Alright ladies...those rumors that have been floating around the last few days, are indeed true. Justin Timberlake, is permanently off the market. Timberlake, and America's favorite bad girl rocker, Madison Fox, tied the knot in a quicky ceremony in Vegas, on Saturday evening.     

Other than the short, confirmation statement sent out this morning, there has been no word from the Timberlake or Fox camps. The couple, who weren't even suspected to be dating, have as recently as two weeks ago, been linked to various other celebs.     

I'm sure we'll be hearing more on this story soon, so until then...congratulations to the newlyweds, from all of us here, at MTV."        

    I stroll into the offices of Jive records, my manager, and assistant hot on my heels.  They've both been spouting information at me since we left the hotel, but I don't think I've actually heard a single word either of them has said.     

My mind has been in a complete fog for the last three days, and I can't see it lifting anytime soon.    

I really don't remember any of what happened that night. I know it all stared off, innocently enough. On Friday, I finished recording my second album, we left for Vegas that night, Saturday is pretty hazy, and Sunday...I woke up with a ring on my finger, and a pop star in my bed.    

How I got there, is beyond me.    

I've run through every possible scenario in my head, but nothing makes sense. My entire life, doesn't make sense.    

When I was a little girl, I always knew I was meant to perform. At the age of four, I practically forced my parents to put me in ballet, and my love of the spotlight only grew from there. At 10, I picked up a guitar, and never looked back.    

Music became my obsession. I'd spend hours, locked in my room, playing along to the songs blaring from the radio. When I started writing my own songs, music went from just an obsession, to being my reason for living.     

I dropped out of school, and left my parents home, in Chicago, the day I turned 16. I came to California, with some money I'd saved up, my guitar, and the clothes on my back.    

I was so convinced that breaking into the industry, would be a piece of cake. I thought it would work exactly the way it does in movies, you show up...sing your song, and bam...you've got a record deal. But, I quickly learned that happy endings aren't inevitable, and dreams don't always come true.     

I made the audition rounds, sent demos to every label I could think of, but nothing worked. I had so many doors slammed in my face, those first few years. I was constantly told that I had the talent, and the looks, but my image was all wrong.    

At the time, pop music was dominating the charts, and no one had any use for a 17 year old girl, with a guitar.    

But, I wasn't going to just sit down, and be quiet. I was determined to prove what I was capable of, and nobody was going to stop me.     

It just took much longer than I expected.    

I moved in with a girl I'd met at an audition, and found at waitressing job at a small diner, it wasn't the job of my dreams, but it would pay the bills.     

All of my spare time was spent writing, and recording on an old tape deck I'd found at a yard sale. When finances got a little too tight, I'd haul my guitar out to the busiest streets of Los Angeles, and sing my heart out, praying someone would notice.    

I didn't know it at the time, but I would go on to struggle until I was almost 22.    

Once I was old enough, I'd started playing various clubs in the area, but I don't think I ever played to a crowd of more than 40. Even then, getting them to actually pay attention, was like pulling teeth.    

However, the night of March 10th, 2002...all of my struggling, and all of my hard work, was going to pay off.     

I'd been hired to play an acoustic set, at some hold in the wall bar, and after being told I'd make nearly 300 bucks off the gig, I couldn't have been happier.    

The show that night seemed to go exceptionally well. Everything just kind of flowed, and it was perfect. I played several of my own songs, as well as some covers of my favorites.    

My last song of the night was a cover of The Chain, by Fleetwood Mac. In my opinion, it's probably the greatest song of all time, and it was the first song I ever learned how to play, so it's holds some sentimental value for me.    

I guess I should mention, Fleetwood Mac is my absolute, all time favorite band.  Honestly, Stevie Nicks is the reason I wanted to sing. One of my first memories, is my Dad taking me to see them, live.    

I decided right then and there, that when I finally made it...I was going to be just like Stevie. I'd play what I wanted, write how I wanted, act how I wanted, and say what I wanted. I refused to be a victim of the industry.    

I was determined to play by my rules, and no one was going to make me do anything I didn't want to.    

When I stepped off the stage that night, I was met with the clearest blue eyes, I'd ever seen. The man was absolutely gorgeous. He smiled at me, introduced himself, and said he wanted to talk business.     

I played it cool, pretended I was perfectly ok with playing half empty bars, but on the inside...I was screaming.    

Only an idiot wouldn't have known who he was. However, I didn't care that he'd been in a boyband, didn't care that he was practically a joke in the industry. All that mattered, was that he had connections. Connections that could lead me to bigger and better things.    

We spent hours talking about our favorite music, where we thought mainstream was headed, the quality of live shows. I loved talking music with him, he had the same passion I did, and it was like, he just got me.    

I guess you could say, we clicked. He was funny, and charming, and so sweet...I just knew, he was going to change my life.    

Jc Chasez was going to get my career on track.    

He got me a meeting with RCA, and by the end of the week, I signed a multi-million dollar, five album deal.    

I had finally made it.    

RCA wasted no time, getting me into the studio, with some of the best producers money could buy. Jc signed on as my manager, and the rest...is history.    

My first album went on to become the most successful solo female debut, to date. It went triple platinum in its first year of release, and spawned five number one singles.     

I know, a lot of people like to say I was an overnight success, but they couldn't be more wrong. This has been years in the making. Of course, the more popular I got, the more interesting the tabloids found me. My no bullshit attitude, quickly earned me a "bad girl" reputation.    

I wouldn't say that's accurate, but it's not totally wrong either. I like to go out, I like to drink, I like to flirt...if that makes me a "bad girl", then so be it.    

The tabloids are a funny thing, when you think about it. Some people despise them, while others thrive on the publicity they provide. I guess, I'm kind of in the middle.    

I'm not exactly a fan, but I know they're a necessary evil. It keeps my name, and face out there, and that's what's important. I've worked too hard, for too damn long, to let myself become just another face in the crowd.    

Although, I could do without the constant speculation on my love life. I'm like any normal 25 year old, I date around. It just so happens, that most of the people I date, are in the same line of work I am. But, the media tends to take it all a bit too far.    

Just a couple weeks ago, I was supposedly ready to walk down the aisle with one of the guys from Good Charlotte. (So not true, by the way. I've never even met them.)    

Unfortunately, I know that after this past Saturday, the media intrusion on my life, is going to multiply tenfold.     

I somehow managed to land the worlds most eligible bachelor, and the world ain't too happy about it. Little do they know, I'm not too thrilled about it myself.    

I walk into the large conference room, and take a seat between Jc and Beth. She's the only witness to the events of that night, but I really don't like the fact they feel the need to drag her into it.    

I love my assistant to death, but well...she's kind of a nerd.     

She's one of those book wormy types. She's full of useless information about tons of crap, no one cares about. She watches The Learning Channel, way more than any one person should. But, she's great to have around.     

She's got a degree in public relations, and she does any thing I ask. Honestly, I could tell her to jump off a building, and she'd probably do it. But, I do not use that to my advantage. I'm not the type to let my ego interfere, so mostly...she runs a few errands for me, here and there, helps Jc with paperwork, and is kind of my sounding board.    

When I get stressed, or have a bad day...I go running to Beth. She's an amazing listener, and over the last couple years, has become an great friend. There's really no telling where I'd be, if she wasn't around to keep me on the right track.    

Of course, I really could have used her good judgement when I decided that a weekend in Vegas, was the perfect way to celebrate the completion of the album.     

We've both been killing ourselves the last few months, and finally finishing that last song, was like having this huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I'm under an insane amount of pressure to live up to so many peoples expectations, and I'll admit...I got a little anal about this album.    

It had to be perfect, and I wasn't going to stop until I was satisfied.     

"Afternoon Ms. Fox, Jc." Johnny Wright nods at us, as he enters the room, a line of people trailing behind him, one of them being the bane of my existence.     

I'd never met him until that night, but even that doesn't really count...I don't remember any of it, so I consider the next morning as our actual first meeting.     

He was such an unbelievable bastard. He acted like I'd somehow conned him into marrying me, like I stood to make something from our half assed union. Right away, I told him I wanted an annulment, that obviously this was the result of entirely too much alcohol, and not enough thinking.    

He agreed, but said he needed to make a few calls first. I left him a card for my lawyer, and told him we'd be in touch. I fully expected to come home, sign some papers, and put this whole mess behind me, but apparently what I want, doesn't really matter to anyone other than me.     

I prop my feet up on the table, and smile as each man takes a seat across from us. I receive a few dirty looks, but the smile never leaves my face.     

I'm not condoning what happened, by any means...but these guys really need to lighten up. This isn't the end of the world. Tons of people get married during a drunken stupor, in Vegas. It's almost a right of passage for Christ sake.    

Granted, this isn't my first time at this rodeo, which could explain what all the fuss is about.     

After my first tour, a group of friends and I planned a road trip, and one of our stops was Vegas. After a night of heavy drinking in our hotel room, a joke went a little too far, and I wound up in pretty much this same situation with one of my childhood friends. Atleast I didn't sleep with him.

We quickly had the marriage annulled, and went on with our lives. We ignored our pictures splashed across every magazine known to man, and eventually...the interest died down.     

But, I know this is a completely different situation. I'm not dealing with one of my friends, and this isn't some minor story.     

I fully expected this to be dealt with quietly, but team Timberlake immediately released a statement, and now...I don't know where this is going. If we're just going to annul the marriage, why make a statement? Why say anything to anyone?    

"Ms. Fox...I'm sure you're aware that a statement was released this morning, regarding this...marriage."    

"I heard something like that." I give Johnny Wright a bored look, and roll my eyes.     

I've never met the man until this morning, but I've heard plenty of horror stories from Jc. I know what I'm dealing with here, but he doesn't scare me. He's just another stuffy, old, industry suit, who could give a shit less about the music. It's power and money for him, and people like that disgust me.     

"Good. I've heard this isn't exactly new territory for you, and we're all aware of your reputation. Justin, however, has built a good name for himself over the years, and I refuse to see it tarnished by something like this."    

"Sorry...didn't realize I was such a bad influence." I chuckle softly, and receive a few more death stares.     

"As I was saying, this is not going to bring Justin down. We spent a lot of time, coming up with various ways to straighten this mess out, and we've come to one simple conclusion." He clears his throat and slides several pieces of paper across the table to me.

"The two of you are to remain married for two years. You will live together. Attend any and all red carpet events, together. You will vacation, together. Justin will appear in the video for your first single. You will do background vocals on his next record. In essence, you are going to be an actual married couple. Our plan, is to keep this marriage as open to the public as possible, without seeming over the top."    

"Johnny...what the fuck, man?" Justin squeaks, his face turning an unnatural shade of red. "This is not what we talked about. I have a girlfriend...there's shit I have planned... I'm not doing this."    

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you went screwing around in Las Vegas." Johnny shrugs. "The two of you made this bed, and you're going to lay in it, together. I've had the legal department draw up iron-clad confidentiality agreements for everyone, and if a single word of this gets out...I will sue every one of you for everything you're worth."
    

"Can we back up for just a second?" I ask and remove my feet from the table. "Now...I get that everyone seems to think I'm the bad guy here...but he is no saint, either. He's just as guilty as I am."    

"That's where you're wrong, sweetheart." Justin smiles smugly and shakes his head. "I remember that night quite well, and you were on my shit like white on rice."    

"And did you make any attempt to shoot her down?" Jc asks as he leans forward in his seat. "You could have walked away, Justin, and you chose not to."    

Justin laughs bitterly and rolls his eyes. "Yeah...because you were there."    

"Just because I wasn't there, doesn't mean I don't know what happened. You seem to forget that I spent almost 10 years around your ass...if anyone in this rooms knows you're game...it's me."    

"That's enough." Johnny says loudly and sighs. "The fact of the matter is, no one knows what really happened, and those who do...aren't talking." He eyes Beth suspiciously and lets out another loud sigh. "I've explained what's going to happen, sign your contracts and do as you've been asked. This will be much easier if everyone just cooperates."    

Justin grunts his disapproval, but quickly scrawls his name across the paper, and passes it my way. He shoots me yet another dirty look, as I glance down at it.    

I don't agree with any of this. I may be a lot of things, but a liar, isn't one of them. How the hell am I supposed to pretend, this is what I wanted? I don't know this man, but from what I've seen so far, I've got a feeling I won't like him.     

I wince in pain, and sign my name below his. Suddenly, it's all so final. I'm married to Justin Timberlake, and unlike most women...I am not happy about it.     

We're given several more instructions, before Johnny dismisses all of us angrily.     

This is ridiculous. Why do I have to uproot my life, and move into his home? I'm the one making all the sacrifices here, just to save his ass. Personally...I don't give a shit how an annulment would make him look. I don't care that he's supposed to be this huge teen idol.  I don't care that his fans might have a nervous breakdown, because he's married.    

Honestly, I don't even see what's so great about him. His nose is too big for his face. His hair is too short. His ears stick out kind of funny, and his voice is a little on the nasally side. What the hell is so attractive about that?    

He and his assistant quickly head for the elevators, and Jc jogs to catch up with them. Beth gives me a sympathetic smile, and the five of us file onto the elevator. It's deathly silent for several minutes, before Jc finally begins to babble.    

I swear, he talks nonsense more than any person I've met. It's like he can't stand silence, and comes up with the most random things to say, just for some type of noise. I love the man to death, and thank God for him every day, but sometimes...he drives me a little nuts.    

"There's probably some paps outside...maybe some fans. You two need to turn on the charm, like now."    

"Fuck off." Justin mutters and rolls his eyes. He's just a little ray of sunshine, isn't he?    

"Aww...come on Justin...show em you're not such a shitty actor, after all." I smirk, as the elevator doors open, and he grasps my hand, a little tighter than most people would.  

Clearly, he's far too wrapped up in himself to realize the sadness of this whole thing. He's famous the world over, has more money than most people will see in a lifetime, yet...he's a puppet. His handlers tell him what to do, and he does it, without asking questions.    

He's a pathetic excuse of a man, if you ask me.    

As soon as we step outside, we're blinded by flashes, and the photographers swarm in on us. As horrible as it sounds, this is something I've gotten used to the last few years. As long as you keep your head down, and ignore their questions, you can get away fairly quick.    

However, it looks as though Justin has no desire to escape. He plants a kiss on my forehead, and starts chatting with the men who are surrounding us.    

"Justin...how did you two meet?"    

"Oh, she came out to one of my shows. She came backstage, and we just clicked." He grins as another flash goes off in his face.     

I almost can't wait to see these pictures, just to see the confused look on my own face.     

"Why all the secrecy?"
    

"We didn't want to spoil our relationship. It's so important to both of us...we felt it was better if we kept things quiet."    

"Any plans for kids?"
    

"Not yet...but someday."    

He smiles for the cameras around us, and I force the best smile I can manage. He's playing the part of happy newlywed better than I expected, and suddenly...I'm realizing, the king of pop isn't such an awful actor, after all.     

I know neither of us is happy about this, but like Johnny said, we're in this thing together, and now...there's no turning back.     

We made this bed and we'll have to lie in it, together.    

"In Justin Timberlake's first interview since his surprising nuptials, nearly two weeks ago, he'll address the rumors surrounding himself, and new wife, Madison Fox, as well as his career plans, now that his widely successful FutureSex/LoveShow tour is over. Right now, we have a sneak peek at the interview, which will air on Entertainment Tonight, next week."    

"Justin, a lot of people are pretty shocked by all of this. Even some of your family has said, they weren't aware you and Madison Fox were dating. Why was there so much secrecy? If you wanted to marry this woman, why hide that?"    

"Well, it's kind of hard to explain. I'm a pretty private guy, and I've had countless relationships ruined because of the media attention, and I just...when I met Madison, I knew I didn't want to make the same mistake, I'd made so many times before. So, we kept our relationship to ourselves, and that's why it's worked so well."    

"Now, Madison is known for being a bit of a party girl. She's spotted at clubs most nights, she's rumored to have dated countless musicians and actors. She's often referred to as a typical, Hollywood bad girl. What do you have to say about that?"    

"Madison gets a bad rap, I think. She's the same as any young person, she just wants to go out, and have a good time. It just gets focused on more, because she's in the spotlight. The media, and the tabloids like to take things to the extreme, and they present people in the worst possible light. In reality, Madison is about as normal as it gets. That's the only way I can explain it."    

"Two years ago, Madison was in the middle of a bit of a mess. She and a friend, were married in Vegas, just like two of you were, but that marriage was quickly annulled. She claimed it was a joke that went too far, but a lot of people thought it was more proof that she is, indeed, what people say she is."    

"She made a mistake. People make mistakes everyday."        

I roll my eyes, and fight the urge to gag at the sight of his stupid, smiling face. He is so completely full of shit. I don't need him making excuses for me, or any of the things I've done in my past. I am what I am, and I've never had any problem with that. Why should anyone else care?         

He may be singing my praises on national television, but behind closed doors, he has no problem telling me exactly what he thinks of me. And trust me, it ain't pretty.    

The last time we spoke, I think he used every term for the word "whore", in the English language.     

I know I'm not totally innocent in all of this, but the blame can't rest squarely on my shoulders.  It's not like Justin has some bright, shiny, squeaky clean image that needs to be protected. As far as I know, public opinion is that he's an arrogant prick. Which, I'm quickly learning, is pretty accurate.     

You'd think, that since I'm helping him out, he'd go out of his way to be a little bit nicer, but if there isn't a camera being shoved in his face, I get treated like I'm some evil, manipulative woman, who conned him into all of this.    

Granted, neither of us had a choice in this. His management made a decision, and we have to go along with it. But, his hostility isn't helping anything. I mean, I could probably be a little less bitchy too, but my attitude is in retaliation to the attitude I'm receiving. And, it's not just from Justin. All of his handlers have me pegged as the Anti-Christ.     

My phone rings loudly, and Beth reaches for it, before I even have the chance to move.    

"Beth Preston." She chirps happily.    

I swear, she is one of the strangest people I've ever known. No matter what's going on around her, she's always so damn cheery. I've never seen her angry, upset, or even the least bit stressed out. It's like her only emotion, is happiness.    

It drives me a little crazy, but it's yet another reason I love having her as my assistant. I need that kind of calmness around me, when things get rough. And, I've got to admit, Beth has been amazing through this whole mess. She's kept me level headed, when normally, I'd be running around, freaking out like some kind of crazy person.    

"That was the label." She says as she ends her call, and places my phone back on the table. "They picked the first single from the album."    

"Oh really?"
    

"Yep. They decided on One Minute. Jc said they knew you wanted Don't Waste Your Time, but in light of everything going on, they didn't think a break up song was the right way to go for the first single."    

I can't stop the frown from forming on my face as I look over at her. "So, I don't get a say?"    

"Apparently not." She gives me a small smile. "But, look on the bright side...One Minute was your second pick..."    

"It was my pick for the second single, not the first." I sigh and stand up. "I'm gonna go lay down, if Jace or anybody calls, just...tell em I'll call back later."    

I make my way through the apartment, and finally collapse onto my bed. I know I'm in deep, but I never imagined this would affect my career. And really, it shouldn't. The disaster, that is currently my personal life, should have no impact on my music, or anything I do as far as performing.     

Instead, I'm having skeletons dug out of my closet, someone else is dictating my future, I have to move out of my own home, and I'm expected to cover an egotistical pop stars ass.     

This is so not the plan I had for my life.

********************************    

I pull up to Justin's driveway, and stop at the closed, wrought iron gates. I can barely make out the roof of the house with everything surrounded by trees.  I've heard he's incredibly private, but I think this borders on paranoia.    

"You have to type in the security code." Jc offers as he peers at me over his sunglasses.    

"I don't know the code."    

"It's his birthday."
    

"I don't know his birthday either, Jace." I chuckle and roll my eyes.    

I know absolutely nothing about my husband. How horrible is that?    

Growing up, I had this dream that the man I'd marry, would be like my best friend. We'd know everything about each other, spend hours talking about nothing.  We'd have the same taste in music and movies. I dreamed of the perfect marriage.    

Instead, I'm stuck with an ego maniac, who probably couldn't even tell you my hair color.    

Although, I did manage to get a nice sized rock on my finger. I've got to admit, that was the oddest experience in this whole thing.     

In Vegas, I ended up with some cheap gold band, that turned my finger green after just a couple of hours. Once the statement about our marriage had been made, Johnny Wright sent his minions out to find rings for Justin and I.    

Whoever picked out my princess cut, five carat diamond and platinum band, did an excellent job.     

However, being handed a set of wedding bands in a meeting, and being told to wear them at all times, is fairly awkward. Especially when, you have no desire to wear anything that ties you to a person you can barely stand the sight of.    

"It's 13181." Jc sighs. "I still say he's a moron for making that his code, it's not like it's hard to crack or anything."    

I punch in the code, and the gates slowly open in front of us. I take a deep breath and step down on the gas, easing my car up the driveway. I pull up behind a silver BMW, and let out a low whistle as I take in the sight before me.    

It's hard to believe that this, will be my home for the next two years.    

The house is massive, and even I have to admit, it's gorgeous. The bricks are an off white color, and the front porch looks like something straight out of the deep south. Sports equipment is piled in the corner, three rocking chairs are to the left of the front door, while a swing is to the right.    

The front door is standing wide open, and as Jc, Beth and I climb out of the car, two large dogs come bounding toward us.    

They're cute, in that so hideously ugly, they're cute, sort of way. Kind of like their owner, I suppose.    

The larger of the two leaps onto Beth, placing his front paws on her shoulders, and I can't help but laugh at the horrified expression on her face. She's definitely not an animal person. Her idea of a suitable pet, is a pet rock.   

"Damnit Buck, get your ass down." I hear a stern voice call from the porch, and roll my eyes.   

"You really shouldn't talk to him like that."    

He shoots me a scathing look, and sighs. "He's a dog. He doesn't know the difference."     

He grabs the dog by the collar, and pulls him away from Beth, before smiling apologetically at her.    

"Sorry. He's not much of a listener."    

"It's ok." Beth nods slowly, attempting to wipe the dog hair from her black blouse.    

"Anyway, ya'll can come on in. Your shit got here this morning, Madison."    

"Oh, and you didn't throw it away or destroy it? Impressive." I smile sarcastically as I follow him inside.    

The outside of the house, definitely doesn't do this place justice. I almost feel like I'm standing in a museum or something. There's numerous photographs and paintings hanging on the walls of the foyer. Directly across from the front door is a large marble staircase, with two long hallways on either side.    

I spot my boxes stacked neatly in the right hallway, and make a mental note to give the movers a generous tip. I'm sure carrying some of that stuff, was no small feat. I'm kind of a pack rat.   

 "Who decorated this place?" Jc asks as he looks around.    

Everything is done in black, gray and white, giving it this very modern feel. Even in the marble of the stairs, there's some gray swirled in.     

"My Mom." Justin snorts and rolls his eyes. "It's not what I wanted, but it works."    

Well, damn. I was just starting to think the boy had some taste. I guess that's what I get for thinking.    

"So, you guys want a tour or something?" I shrug, while Jc and Beth nod excitedly.    

Really, I'm not all that interested in watching Justin flaunt his success. We know he's freaking loaded, we don't need it shoved in our faces.    

I've always found it kind of cliche, when a celebrity offers a tour of their home. It's like, it's just an excuse for them to show off their accomplishments.    

I guess I've just never quite gotten the hang of this stardom thing. I'm still the same silly, loud, obnoxious, sarcastic girl I've always been. I live in a pretty modest apartment, I do my own laundry and shopping.    

I'm kind of the anti-celebrity, I suppose.    

Justin leads us through the house, showing off each room. There's 15 total, and all I can think, is that this is way too much house for one person.    

By far, the coolest part of the house is the basement studio. It's much smaller than an average recording studio, but all of the right equipment is here. The walls are covered in Justin's various awards, and platinum records.    

When I see his Grammy, placed neatly on the shelf, I can't help but envy him.    

My main goal in life, is to win a Grammy. If I ever do, I can totally die happy. It just...it's got to be an amazing feeling to know that the critics love you, just as much as your fans do. That's the kind of acceptance I want. I want to know that the music I put out, is good enough for everyone, not just a core audience.    

"That's pretty much it." Justin shrugs as we step out the backdoor, and onto the deck, overlooking the pool and basketball court. "Except for the guest house, that's Trace's thing. I stay the hell out of there. He's kind of a slob."    

I do my best to cover my laugh with a cough, and follow everyone back into the house. I don't want the idiot thinking he's funny or anything. His head is big enough as it is.    

Although, I will give him credit for being somewhat of a neat freak, because this place, is spotless. There isn't a spec of dirt, or piece of clutter anywhere.    

I bet, he has a damn good maid. No man is this clean, or organized. I really can't imagine Justin cleaning this place at all, let alone, by himself.    

He definitely strikes me as being pampered. I'm sure, he has hired help to do just about everything for him. His cleaning, cooking, someone probably runs all of his errands, pays his bills.    

In a way, I kind of understand why he'd prefer to have help. There are times, where I'm doing something as simple as grocery shopping, and when those flashes are going off every few minutes...I wish I had someone to do things like that for me.    

Technically, I could have Beth do it, but at the same time, getting out and doing those simple things, gives me a sense of normalcy.     

Fame is a double edged sword, when you think about it. On one hand, you want the entire world to know who you are, you want to play to sold out crowds, you desperately want people to notice you. But, you also want your privacy. You want to be able to walk down the street, and not have one single person look at you.     

Unfortunately, to get the acknowledgement you need, you have to sacrifice every bit of your personal life, and privacy.     

"We better get going. You have a meeting with the PR department at 12." Beth says quietly.    

That is definitely the best part about having an assistant. She can attend all those long, drawn out, boring meetings, that I loathe.     

I guess that's why, I don't really like asking her to do normal everyday stuff for me. She's a smart girl, and I'd much rather have her assisting with the business aspect of my career. I can handle paying bills, and getting my own coffee.     

"Alright, well you kids have fun." Jc smirks at me, as he and Beth head for the door.    

"Madison, don't forget, you're meeting with the label tomorrow to talk about promotion for the album."
    

"I know, Beth." I sigh as she hurries after Jc.     

"You could be a little nicer to her, ya know. She's just trying to help."    

"And you could be nicer to your dogs, but you don't see me calling the SPCA, do you?"    

He rolls his eyes, and heads down the left hallway. "Your rooms the third door on the left. Go nuts, just don't put any shit on the walls. And don't move any furniture."    

"Gee, I didn't realize I was moving into a jail cell."    

He continues to stalk down the hallway, but flips me off over his shoulder, before turning the corner and disappearing from sight.    

Living in this house, is going to be an absolute nightmare.

**********************************    

I place the last of my clothes in the closet, and take a quick look around. I can't be too mad about the room Justin chose for me. It's fairly large, and decorated in different shades of red.  It has a huge walk in closet, and all of the furniture is this deep, beautiful mahogany. The queen sized bed in the left corner, is even more comfortable than my own.    

I'm still not exactly sure what's going to happen to my apartment. I know, I can't live there until this mess runs its course, but there's no way in hell I'm giving it up.     

I think that's what's bothering me the most. My life is being turned upside down, while Justin gets to carry on in his normal existence. All he's really had to do, is make the accommodations for me to live here,and tell a few white lies.    

I'm not saying those things are easy, but I feel like I'm the one getting the short end of the stick. Everything is being done to benefit Justin.    

It's his image, they're worried about. He's the one giving all of the interviews. His handlers are the ones issuing the statements. It's all about him.    

I can't really complain too much, because the thought of having to lie to anyone, and pretend that I love this man, makes me sick to my stomach. I really don't know how he's doing it.    

There's a soft knock on my door, and Justin enters, dressed to the nines. His gray, three piece suit, makes him look a little older, and his hair is gelled to perfection, each short curl falling into place.    

"I'm going out. Just thought I'd let you know." He adjusts his tie in my mirror, then turns to face me. "I probably won't be back till morning, so, see ya around." He quickly exits the room, before I have the chance to respond, and all I can do is roll my eyes.    

I'm in an unfamiliar home, by myself. I haven't got a clue where anything is, and my "husband", is probably going on a date.    

How did I let myself get so pathetic? Normally, I'd have told Johnny Wright to go straight to hell, when he laid out all of the rules for us.    

I guess, maybe a small part of me, felt sorry for Justin. His life has been open to the public all through his career, and his fans have him on this impossibly high pedestal. Honestly, I don't think anyone could live up to the expectations people have set for him. I know, if his fans knew what happened that night in Vegas, they'd see him in a whole new light.     

They'd realize that their idol, isn't perfect, and he may not be as appealing as he was before.    

I kind of understand why things are being done this way, but that doesn't make it right. It's still a flat out lie.    

Granted, I'd be lying is I said I didn't have anything to gain here. Number one, my album is due out within the next few months, and unfortunately, there's no such thing as bad publicity.    

And, of course, when Justin is on television, defending my honor, like he was instructed...it diminishes the thought that I'm this out of control, wild woman, and that's not such a bad thing.    

Generally, I couldn't care less what people think of me. I'm comfortable in my own skin, and that's all that matters. However, being labeled a slut, or an alcoholic, or being accused of having a drug problem, does sting just a bit.    

I've never touched a single illegal substance in my 25 years on this earth. I enjoy drinking every once in awhile, but by no means, am I an alcoholic. And as far as being a slut...it's just flat out, not true.    

Until Justin, I've never slept with a man who wasn't a serious boyfriend. I think that because someone dates around a lot, people automatically assume that you're sleeping with anyone you go out with.    

But hey, we all know what the first three letters of assume are.    

I really need to cut the whining bullshit. I have a great career, financial stability, amazing friends, a family who's done nothing but support me.    

I've got it so easy, and it could always be worse.     

If having to fake a marriage is my biggest problem, then my life really isn't so bad.

"The two of you are going to this premiere. No questions asked. It's been almost a month, and you have yet to make an appearance together. You're going. End of discussion." Johnny strolls out of the conference room, leaving Madison and I alone.    

She rolls her eyes and lets out a long sigh before turning to glare at me. "Happy now?"    

"Ecstatic." I smile sarcastically at her, across the table.    

It's official, I am married to the biggest bitch on the planet.    

There is absolutely no end, to how much this woman pisses me off. Within the past month, there's been quite a few instances where, I could have strangled the life out of her, without a second thought.    

She goes out of her way to be overly rude, and sarcastic, and she always has to have the last word. She's infuriating.    

Of course, we wouldn't be in this mess, if it wasn't for her.     

I remember that night in Vegas, like it was yesterday. The girl couldn't get enough of me.    

She walked into VIP that night, like she owned the damn place, and it was hotter than hell. A lot of women aren't that sure of themselves, but she was, and it was a major turn on.    

Normally, I'd have wasted no time approaching a woman like that, but I recognized her right away, and I wanted no part of that. I've dealt with my fair share of fame hungry bitches, and from everything I've heard about her, that's exactly what she is.    

So, I made a few comments about her, to my boys, and minded my own business. I wasn't about to get all caught up in Madison Fox, and her drama.    

However, she had other plans for me.    

She'd been there for a few hours, tossing back tequila with her friends, like it was fucking water. I mean seriously, I'm a heavy drinker...but damn. She could have drank me under the table, in a matter of seconds.    

Out of nowhere, she stumbles up to my table, and pretty much throws herself at me, her assistant watching wordlessly, the whole time.  Things got hot and heavy pretty quick, and I figured my hotel room was our next logical step.    

Now, she was much drunker than I was, but I definitely wasn't walking any straight lines that night. My vision was blurry, and I could barely hold my damn head up. I still haven't got a clue how we got out of that club without someone noticing us.     

My security team packed myself, Madison, her assistant, and my assistant-slash-best friend,Trace, into the escalade we rented, and we headed for the hotel.     

My memory gets a little fuzzy at this point. All I can recall, is being in the car, and passing one of those little, cheap ass wedding chapels. Madison said something about wanting to see the inside of one, so we stopped.    

Unfortunately, I have no recollection of the actual wedding, or what happened afterward. All I know is, Sunday morning, I woke up in a hotel that wasn't mine, sleeping next to a woman, I normally wouldn't have touched with a ten foot pole, and there was a cheap, gold band around my left ring finger.     

That, of course, is when the shit hit the fan, and it's been downhill ever since.     I know Johnny's scheduling all kinds of crap for us, interviews, appearances, photo shoots, you name it. The thing that drives me up the damn wall, is the fact that if this marriage was real, there's no way in hell I'd be this open about it.    

I keep my personal life to myself, so why would I suddenly welcome the world into it? Really, my management should have put a lot more thought into this whole thing.     A quiet annulment would have suited everyone just fine, but oh no. They all saw an opportunity to make some money, and they've taken it.     

The music business in sickening, when you really think about it. I mean, I know I have an image to protect or whatever, but I don't think lying is the right way to go about this whole thing. However, I'm not about to argue with the people who donate to my bank account. Even I'm not that stupid.     

"Are you going to sit there all day, or are we leaving?" Madison interrupts my train of thought, and all I can do is roll my eyes.    

I can't even stand the sound of her voice. It's so...grating. When she speaks to me, you can hear the anger, and frustration, but with anyone else, her tone is light and airy.    

I swear to God, she's gotta be schizophrenic or something, because I see two different people anytime I'm around her. With Beth and Jc, she's silly and funny and actually seems like a decent person, but with me, she's this evil, vindictive bitch. So, I give it right back to her.    

Around Madison Fox, I'm the biggest prick imaginable. I think she's shit, and I have no problem letting her know it.     

I'll be amazed if I make through the next two years, without having a psychotic break.  

*****************************    

"That's what you're wearing?" I ask and arch an eyebrow in Madison's direction. She quickly glances down at her ripped, low rider jeans, and faded Beatles shirt, then shrugs.     

"Yeah." She looks up and giggles at my black suit and tie. "Is that what you're wearing?"    

She's the only woman I've ever seen, who doesn't give a shit what she looks like. I realize that she isn't exactly an A-lister, but you'd think she'd put some thought into the fact that her picture will be splashed all over television, the internet and magazines.     

"You can't wear that. If we're supposed to make people believe we're together, you need to dress like it."
    

"Oh, so I need to find a skin tight dress and let my tits hang out? I'll get right on that." She rolls her eyes and pulls her hair up into a messy ponytail. "It's a movie, Justin. I don't know about you, but when I have to sit still for two hours, I prefer to be comfortable."    

"Look...can you please just change? People are waiting on us, and we're already running late."    

I'm trying really hard to be nice about this, but she makes it virtually impossible. It's like, she has to do the exact opposite of anything I say. I mean, is she too stupid to realize that I'm trying to help her?    

Maybe if she dressed like she gave a shit, she might not be seen in such a negative light. But, of course, listening to me would just be way too easy.    

"Why don't you change? Why can't you dress like you're with me? I'm bending over backwards to do what you and your people want...you need to start giving a little bit, since all you've been doing is taking."    

"Fine." I say through clenched teeth and head for the stairway. "Since you're the expert, you pick something out."    

She nods and follows me up to my bedroom, then goes straight for my closet.  She disappears for several minutes, before throwing a pair of jeans at me, followed by a red T-shirt, and white baseball cap.     

"That'll have to do, since apparently you dress like an uptight old man. Now, hurry up and change so we can leave." She doesn't move from her spot in front of my closet, and I look between her and the door a few times, while she gives me a blank stare.    

"You wanna get out?"    

"Whatever floats your boat, but don't worry...there isn't much to see there." She smirks as she struts out of the room.    

I quickly change into the clothes my "wife" picked out, and move to stand in front of the mirror. It doesn't look bad, but it's definitely not the type of thing I'd wear, when I'm going out somewhere to be seen.    

I try to not buy into all the celebrity horseshit, but I know, people hold me to a certain standard, and I do what I can to meet their expectations. I'm not saying I'm this perfect role model or anything, because I've done plenty of stupid shit in my time, but I don't want to let anyone down. People are used to seeing me well dressed and confident, but now...I look like I'm going to a basketball game.    

I slide my hat on, and make my way downstairs. Madison is already outside, chatting with my security team and showing off her wedding rings. I figured those guys would see through the entire thing, but it appears they're hanging on her every word.    

That's one thing I will give her credit for. The girl knows how to work a crowd.     

I don't know what it is, but there's something about her, that makes you pay attention. Maybe it's that self assuredness that I noticed in Vegas, or maybe it's the way she speaks. I don't know, but you just notice her, and for some unknown reason, you want to hear what she has to say.    

However, I'm pretty sure I'm becoming immune to her charm. That first night, she fascinated me, but after that, I kind of wished she'd just go away.     

I know, when my Momma meets her, she'll see through all of this. Momma knows me better than anyone, and she'll see just how awkward this makes me feel, and she'll probably call me on it.     

I think, out of all the lies I've had to tell, and the things I've had to do, lying to the people closest to me, is the one thing that stings the most. I get that Johnny doesn't want to take any chances, but there's no way my Momma would sell me out to the press.    

I step outside, and smile at the guys, before sliding my arms around her waist from behind, and placing a few kisses up the back of her exposed neck.     

Atleast, I didn't end up with a dog. Madison is pretty decent to look at, so that helps with the PDA side of this.     

She has these dark blue eyes, that change with her mood, and she does have a nice smile, on the rare occasion I actually get to see it. If she would get rid of the dark make-up, heavy eyeliner, and dress decently, she'd be a pretty attractive girl. But, I don't see that happening anytime soon, especially if I mention it.    

"Look at y'all. You're just too cute." Mike says sarcastically. "Lets' get moving."    

Madison jerks away from me, and climbs into the escalade. I swear, she makes her shirt rise up her back on purpose, just to show off her ass, and the tattoo on her lower back.      

I'm not exactly sure what it is, because all I can make out, are tribal bands, and what looks like a large, round symbol in the middle.     

I open my mouth to ask about it, but quickly stop myself.  Her husband would already know. He'd know what it means, why and where she got it, if it hurt.     

This is where our biggest problem lies, we know absolutely nothing about each other, yet we're supposed to make the world think, that we're happily married.  This can't work. Any logical person would see that.     

I'm seriously beginning to wonder about the sanity of the people who run my career.     

"This is all wrong." Madison mumbles as she pulls my hat off my head and tosses it on the floor.     

"What the hell? That's an 80 dollar hat."    

"You paid 80 dollars for a hat?" She asks with a laugh. "You need a new accountant." She starts to rummage through the massive bag, she calls her purse. You could seriously fit a family of four in that damn thing.    

Finally, she produces a small blue bottle of, what I can only assume is, hair product. She rubs some of it between her fingers, then quickly starts to work it through my hair. I don't know what the hell she's doing, but her fingers massaging my scalp, is actually pretty soothing. After a few minutes, she sits back and smiles at her work.    

"Much better." She hands me a small compact mirror, and I glance at my hair.    

"You can't be serious." I move to straighten my hair out, but she slaps my hands away.     

"It's a faux-hawk. It looks good. Leave it."     

I have the perfect response in my head, but I've got to be careful. One misstep on my part, could send this whole thing crashing down, and I don't even want to think about how Johnny would react to that.     

In the comfort of my own home, I can say and do as I please, but in the real world...I'm a happily married man, and I need to act like it.

****************************    

I step out of the car, and immediately, I can hear yelling and flashes go off all around me. Madison slides out behind me, and quickly laces her fingers through mine. All of the noise and flashes, almost triple.    

I should have expected this. For weeks, there's been all this speculation about why we haven't been seen together. I should have known this would be a big deal.    

We slowly make our way up the red carpet, stopping to pose for pictures every few minutes, and ignoring the dozens of questions being shouted at us. It's taking all I have to keep the smile plastered on my face.    

I'll be so glad when the novelty of our marriage wears off, because I absolutely hate this shit.    

"It's actually working, isn't it?" Madison asks through her wide grin.     

"Looks like it." I nod. "But we'll catch a bunch of shit for dressing like idiots."    

"So, I improve how you look, and I'm the idiot?"    

"Madison...don't start any shit here, alright?"    

"Of course, sweetheart." She smiles, then kisses my cheek quickly as we head into the theater.     

I'll admit, she plays the part pretty well. If I didn't know better, her smile and the way she leans into me, would even fool me.     

She puts on a good show, and maybe, that's why her fans ignore all of the shit that gets printed about her. Maybe, they see the girl, I'm seeing now. This smiling, happy, carefree girl, who couldn't possibly be all of the things her critics seem to think she is.     

Maybe, I was too quick to judge her. Hell, I'd give anything to be that reckless with my image. I'd kill for the chance to say and do whatever I wanted. Unfortunately, when I decided this was the career for me, I sacrificed everything. I agreed to let other people create my public persona, and I'm still obligated to do that.    

I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but I wouldn't mind being a little bit more like Madison Fox.

"Reportedly, the couple plans to welcome Rolling Stone's cameras into the home they share, which was once Timberlake's lavish bachelor pad. No word yet on when the article will print, but reps for Rolling Stone say it will be as soon as possible."    

Justin rolls his eyes, then quickly changes the channel. I know he's just as irritated as I am, at the constant attention we're receiving. Honestly, I thought it would have died down by now. It' been a little over two months, but we're still being hounded day and night.  The same group of five photographers have been camped out at the front gate, for the last three days.     

I guess it sounds stupid, but I just keep wondering what they do when they're hungry...they haven't left, so obviously they haven't showered, and where the hell do they go to the bathroom?    

On second thought, I don't think I want to know.     

I wish I could say that things are improving, but Justin is as stubborn and pigheaded as it gets. Granted, the few times we've been out, he lays on the charm for the cameras, but the second we're back in this house, the attitude comes back out, and we spend most of our time arguing, or ignoring each other.     

I almost wish we could get along, because I'm really starting to feel like I'm in this thing alone, even though I'm not. Justin and I, should be able to lean on each other. We should be able to talk, it should be us against the world, at this point, and it's not. We're too busy fighting each other to realize, we need each other.     

Sure, I can vent to Jc and Beth all I want, but they don't understand it.  They can offer advice, but nothing they could say, would actually do me any good. The only person in the world, who can understand any of this, is the one person who wants nothing to do with me.        

Normally, I'm not a big fan of interviews or photo shoots or any of the crap that goes into promotion. However, this time, I can't wait to get the ball rolling. The first single will be out at the end of the month and with any luck, the promotion for it, will keep me far away from Justin.    

I didn't expect it, but the constant bickering is really starting to take a toll on me. My stress level is through the roof, and I have this migraine that never seems to go away.     

I guess, the naive part of me thought this whole thing would be a lot easier than it is. Or, maybe it should be easy, and by acting like selfish idiots, Justin and I are just making it harder on ourselves.     

"Somebody die in here or something?" Trace asks with a laugh as he enters the living room.    

I haven't really gotten a feel for him quite yet. Like Justin, he spends the majority of his time ignoring me. According to Beth, we hit it off fairly well in Vegas, but as drunk as I was, I probably could have made friends with a brick wall.    

When he does speak to me, he's polite, but I get the sense that he's completely on Justin's side. Which is understandable. I'm sure, if my best friend Chelsea, from back home was here, she'd be acting the same exact way. Of course, there's no way she'd be as quiet as Trace has been.   

 As loud, obnoxious and outspoken as I am, Chelsea is ten times worse. In fact, I'd say I picked a lot of it up from her. Without her, I wouldn't be the person I am today.    

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Justin asks as he stretches out on the couch.     

"Y'all are sitting around here look like your damn dogs just died or something. Fuck...let's go do something fun."    

"I'm good, thanks." Justin sighs and rolls his eyes.    

"You know what? I'll go with you." I stand up from my spot on the couch and Trace smiles brightly.    

"Sweet. C'mon J...your girl's in."    

"She isn't my girl." Justin scoffs. "Y'all do whatever you want. I'm staying right here."    

"Fine." Trace shrugs and grabs his keys. "Later man."    

He's out in the door in a matter of seconds, but I stop in my tracks before I make it out of the living room.    

"You should come." I say quietly. Justin snorts, never taking his eyes off the television.     

"I'm really not in the mood to hang all over your ass today, Madison. I need a break."        

"From what? We don't do anything, or go anywhere unless Johnny forces us to. I know, this whole thing fucking sucks, and believe me... I would love to fast forward to two years from now, and put this shit behind me, but we can't do that. Grow up, and accept the fact that we screwed up, and now we have to pay for it."    

As usual, rather than respond, he flips me off. One day, he's going to really piss me off, and I'll end up breaking that damn finger.     

I shake my head sadly, and make my way to the front door. Trace is waiting for me on the porch, grinning from ear to ear.    

"Damn...I wish he would have met you 10 years ago." He chuckles as we climb into his truck.    

"Oh yeah? Why's that?" He eyes me carefully for a few seconds, then sighs and shakes his head.    

"Don't get me wrong, Justin's my boy through and through. I've got his back, no matter what, but I know how he can be sometimes. I've never seen anybody tell him how it is, like that. He's got a temper, man. It's just easier to let him act like a dick when he wants to, than call him on it and have him going off all the time."    

"So, he's like that because nobody will stand up to him?"

"Basically, yeah. But, I think having you be the one to call him on his shit, kind of messes with his head, ya know? Like, here comes this girl, who knows nothing about him, not putting up with his bullshit. That's gotta be weird for him. You're kind of turning everything upside down, and it's really fucking with him."    

"I'm not trying to." I shrug. "I'm dealing with the same things he is. It's just as hard on me, if not harder, because I'm the one with the reputation." I roll my eyes as Trace giggles.     

"I never bought that, ya know. I mean, I try not to read any of that tabloid shit, but sometimes you can't ignore it, and you were fucking everywhere. I never believed any of it."

"Thanks." I smile. Maybe Trace isn't like Justin, after all.    

"I mean, no chick can drink like that. Even a bad ass, guitar playing chick."    

"Oh really?" I arch an eyebrow at him and smirk. "I guarantee you...I could drink your ass under the table in a minute."    

"I'll take that bet." He grins an pulls onto the freeway. "Shall we hit the bar?"    

"Definitely." I giggle.    

Maybe, if I misjudged Trace, I've been misjudging Justin as well. However, atleast Trace is making the attempt to get to know me rather than buy into how the media portrays me.     

So, I'm going to use my sudden friendship with Trace, to my advantage. If I'm going to make it through the next two years, I need atleast one friend in that house. I'm just thanking God,it's an actual person, and not one of those damn dogs.

******************************************    

"And that, makes 10 good sir." I giggle and slam the shot glass down on the table.    

Trace rolls his eyes, then pours another shot for himself. "Alright...alright...first one to 20." He frowns as he spills some of the tequila on the table and quickly wipes it up.    

"20? Jesus, are you trying to kill me?"
    

"Nah." He shakes his head and smiles stupidly. "Ya know what...I give up. I never thought I'd say this...but you win." He pushes his shot away, and tries to stand up, but quickly sits back down. "My legs don't work."    

I giggle and roll my eyes, before downing the shot he'd poured. Our little competition didn't take very long, and needless to say, we're both far too intoxicated to drive. So, I'm not quite sure how we're going to get back to the house. I could always call Jc or Beth, I suppose.    

"I'm ready whenever you are." Trace slurs as he finally gains his balance. He throws a 50 down on the table to cover our tab, and leave the bartender a hefty tip, before we stumble outside, leaning on each other for support and giggling the whole way.  

"How are we getting home?" He plops down on the curb and fishes his phone out of his pocket.         

"I'll call Beth." I ease down next to him, and quickly dial her number.    

In the four years she's been working for me, not once has her phone gone straight to voicemail....until today. I dial Jc next, and get the same result.    

What the hell?    

"I'll bet you anything....they're fucking." Trace smiles knowingly. "It's those shy, quiet ones you gotta watch out for."    

"Please. They are not." I roll my eyes and shove my phone back in my purse.    

"Totally are. Trust me." He nods. "I'll call J. He'll come get us."    

This, is what I was afraid of. When Trace suggested we go to a bar, I was really worried that neither of us would be able to drive, and we'd have to beg a ride from Justin. I'm sure that for Trace, it's no big deal. However, for me...it's just one more thing I have to depend on him for, and I hate that.    

Luckily, I'm drunk enough to not care. He can bitch and whine all he wants, but I just want to get home to my bed.    

It's a good half an hour before Justin finally shows up, glaring at both of us. I'm sure this is just furthering his assumptions about me, but I couldn't care less. I was not put on this earth to please Justin Timberlake.    

The ride home is spent in complete silence, but I can't help glancing over at Justin every few minutes. He has that whole pissed off, brooding thing down to an art form, and it's actually kind of sexy. If that's how he looked the night we met, no wonder I threw myself at him.    

Or, maybe you just have to be three sheets to the wind, to find him attractive.   

He makes it back to the house in record time, and quickly pulls up the driveway, ignoring every one of the photographers pounding on the car. As soon as he parks, he jumps out and heads inside, without saying a word to me or Trace. Neither of us has moved from our spots in the car, but Trace is laughing uncontrollably as Justin slams the front door behind him.     

"That shit is hilarious! He's so pissed!"    

"He's always pissed." I shrug and climb out of the car. Trace follows suit, and we trudge up the walkway to the front porch.     

"Ya know, you're not so bad, Mrs. Timberlake." He smirks.    

I scrunch up my nose, and shake my head. "That sounds horrible. Maybe, we should just call him Mr. Fox."    

"Oh yeah, that'd go over really well." Trace laughs as I move to open the door.    

The knob turns, but the door won't budge. I try a few more times, but still nothing. Figuring the door is stuck, I try to force it open with my shoulder, but even after putting all of my weight behind my shoves, the door still doesn't open.    

That fucker locked me out.    

He is unbelievable. How childish is it, to lock someone out of a house? I look over at Trace, and he just shrugs, before sitting down on the steps and lighting a cigarette.     

"He locked me out one time before. All you can do is wait."    

"What...is he five years old?" I roll my eyes and plop down next to Trace. "Seriously...who locks someone out?"    

"Told you, he has a temper. I used to have keys, but when he had the guest house built for me, I figured I didn't need them. We could always just go back there." He shrugs.    

"No...you go ahead. He's doing this to piss me off. I'll just wait him out."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. If I freak out, or try to get back in the house, then he wins and that's not happening. Besides, I think me and him need to talk anyway."    

"Alright. Well, if you need anything, just holler at me."    

"Thanks, Trace." I smile as he stands up. "I had fun today."

"Yeah...me too." He gives me a small smile, before stepping off the porch and disappearing around the side of the house.    

I guess this explains why, Justin refuses to give me a key. His reasoning was that someone is always here, or the doors are usually unlocked since he has large fences around the property. Now, I'm realizing that he wants to use the house as a weapon.    

He doesn't want me to get comfortable in my surroundings. He wants me to feel like an outsider, and by controlling my access to the house, he's doing just that.     

It's almost like, there's this power struggle between us. We both want complete control, and neither one of us is willing to compromise.     

If we keep this up, the lie that we've been working so hard to tell, is going to crumble around us.  We need to work together, or everything is going to fall apart. I have to make him see that.    

So, for now...I'll let him throw his temper tantrum and act like a petulant child, but as soon as I get back in this house...things are going to change. I'm going to lay out some rules, and he can follow them, or sit back and let this whole thing blow up in our faces.

******************************    

"He actually locked you out?"     

"Yeah." I sigh and run a hand through my hair. "I've been sitting on the porch for over an hour. What the hell am I supposed to do, Beth?"    

"Why did he lock you out?"    

"I went to a bar with Trace...we got a little drunk, and he had to come get us."        

She lets out a long sigh, and I know, I'm in for a lecture. Most of the time, she doesn't say much about some of the not so smart things I do, but every so often, she goes into Mom mode. I know she's just looking out for me, but sometimes...I need a friend, rather than a baby-sitter.    

"You know...that's getting a little out of hand again."     

I roll my eyes and shake my head, even though she can't see it. "I'm fine...trust me."    

As much as I hate to admit it, there is an ounce of truth to every tabloid story, and the tales about me, are no exception.    

For a very short period of time, my partying did get a little out of control. It was just after the album had come out, and I was still adjusting to my sudden fame. I was being pulled in a thousand different directions every day, and I was constantly at parties. Being around all those industry people and celebrities, completely frayed my nerves. I was totally out of my element.    

Needless to say, I relied on alcohol to get me through it. After a few drinks, I could socialize with those people, and not make a jackass out of myself. I wouldn't be where I am now, if I hadn't been able to do that.   

However, once everything calmed down, my partying eased up. Beth, being the goody-goody she is, was convinced I was on my way to rehab, but I think she over reacts too much. I was never anywhere near being that bad.    

And this time around, is no different. Today was the first time I've drank since the wedding. It just so happens, that my drunken antics are becoming more and more outlandish and noticeable.    

"I'm just looking out for you..." I can just see her shaking her head, but I'm going to let it go.    

My "husband" has locked me out of our house. I have to pee. Jc still isn't answering his phone. I'm pretty sure Trace is passed out in the guest house, so now he's completely useless. I don't need to add a fight with my assistant to that list.    

"I'm not trying to be mean, Madison...I just worry, ya know?"    

"I know...it's fine." I chuckle softly.    

"So, what are you going to do?"

"I guess just sit here until he decides to let me in. I'm still kinda buzzed, so I can't drive."   

"I can come get you."

"It's alright. He'll cave pretty soon."    

"Ok, but if he doesn't, give me a call. Anyway...I gotta go. Jc and I are meeting with Rolling Stone to schedule the big interview." She giggles.    

"Alrighty. Later." I end the call and toss my phone into my purse.    

I completely forgot about the Rolling Stone article. Johnny has been hashing out a deal for the last couple of weeks, and at first, I figured it wouldn't happen. Rolling Stone isn't a gossip magazine, so why would they do an article on Justin and I, as a couple? It just doesn't make sense.    

Somehow, Johnny worked his magic, and now...Justin and I stand to make a nice chunk of change from welcoming a reporter and camera crew into the house.     

I don't really know any details about the whole thing, but I know it's a big deal. It's the first step in letting the world into our "marriage", and I'm terrified.  I honestly don't know how we're going to pull it off, especially with Justin acting like a moron, and locking me out of the house.    

If we actually make this work, I think we both deserve academy awards.   

The front door slowly creaks open, and Justin clears his throat loudly. "Hey."
    

"Finally decided to stop pouting?" I smirk as I turn to face him. He rolls his eyes and comes out to sit beside me. He stares out into the yard, without saying a word, for what feels like an eternity, before he finally looks over at me.     

"Look, I'm sorry I locked you out. But, I was pissed, and I had every right to be. You can't go out and get trashed with my best friend. Do you have any idea how that looks?"    

"Oh please tell me you're joking." I laugh bitterly and roll my eyes. "Justin, there are photographers camped out at the end of the fucking driveway...how do you think locking me out looks?"    

"They can't see anything." He shrugs and gives me a stupid look.    

"Yeah, because nobody could crack your brilliant, top secret security code, and get in here or anything."    

"You know what? This obviously isn't going to work, and honestly...I'm tired of trying. I'll call Johnny in the morning, and get us out of this."    

"Fine by me. I'm not the one who needed protecting. But, you know as well as I do, that Johnny won't do shit. He's trying to teach you a lesson, Justin."
    

"Yeah...never sleep with a drunk, skanky musician in Vegas."    

"Excuse me?" I eye him carefully, and he just laughs. "Let's get one thing straight, alright? I am not a skank, or a slut, or any of the colorful little terms you've been using. If I ever hear you call me anything remotely close to that ever again, I will go to the press so damn fast, your head will spin."    

"You wouldn't do that." He smiles smugly, and I have to fight the urge to slap him.    

"Try me."    

"Johnny would sue your ass for everything you've got."
    

"And you think I care? Unlike you...the money doesn't matter to me. It never did, and it never will."        

"Right." He laughs and rolls his eyes.    

He's got to be the most frustrating person I've ever dealt with. He's so damn stubborn, and seems to have no conscience what so ever. He's a spoiled, selfish, pompous ass. Plain and simple.    

Honestly, I don't see why people are working so hard to cover his ass. I mean, if he was a decent person, I could understand it, but there's nothing worth protecting here. As far as I'm concerned, the truth could come out, and his career could go down the toilet. I couldn't care less.    

"We have two choices here, Justin. We can work together and make this believable, or we can keep going the way we are, and let it blow up in our faces. I'm tried of arguing with you. I'm going back to work soon, and I don't need your bullshit added to that stress. We have the Rolling Stone thing coming up, and this whole thing rests on how that turns out. So, either put in the work, or walk away. It's your choice."    

He bites his lip nervously, and shakes his head. "Right now...I don't know what to do."    

"I don't either, but we can't keep doing this." I say simply.    

"I can't make any promises, but I'll try, alright? This isn't easy for me...it's fucking with everything in my life. I had to break up with my girlfriend, I'm lying to my family and friends... I just...You can't expect me to just be ok with this."    

"See...that right there is your biggest problem. You're not the only one having to deal with this. I had to move out of my home for Christ sake! This isn't just about you. Pull your head out of your ass, Justin." He rolls his eyes before walking back in the house, but this time he leaves the door open.    

For a minute, I thought I was getting somewhere, but the more he ran his big mouth, the more I realized that there is no getting through to him. He's going to say and do whatever the hell he wants and nothing is going to change that.    

However, I am not going to work twice as hard, just so he can be a prick. If this is how he wants it to be, that's perfectly alright with me.

*******************************************************   

A party.    

Of all the stupid, inconsiderate, irresponsible shit Justin's done over the last two months, this is the absolute worst.  Just this afternoon, he locked me out of this damn house, and now...it's packed with his friends and various other celebrities.    

The idiot is throwing a party, for no apparent reason.    

Now, I know I should probably do the smart thing and protest. Maybe hole up in my room, and refuse to go downstairs and play the part of sweet, adoring wife, but here I am... frantically applying my make-up and doing my hair.    

I really don't feel like going down there and hanging all over Justin, but I know if I don't, not only will he throw a bitch fit, but his friends will ask questions. Questions that, I'm not so sure we have the correct answers for.    

He sprung this whole thing on me about 10 minutes before his guests started to arrive, which left me virtually no time to call anyone, or get ready. So, I had Trace call Jc and Beth, while I got a shower and got dressed at the speed of light.    

I'm not too thrilled with the prospect of being surrounded by drunk strangers all night, but how bad can it really be?    

Trace assured me that Justin is much easier to deal with when he's been drinking, so if I'm lucky, this little gathering will go as smoothly as possible. After putting the finishing touches on my make-up, I take a deep breath and make my way downstairs.    

We've spent a lot of time worrying about being able to fake our marriage to the media, but this is a much bigger deal. If the people closest to Justin don't buy it, nobody will.    

I enter the living room and groan inwardly at the sight. The house is jam packed with people, the stereo is so loud, I can actually feel the bass pounding in my chest, and there's a heavy cloud of smoke overhead. I'm all for a good party, but this just isn't my thing. The smell of liquor hits my nose, and I know, I'm in for a very long night.    

A pair of arms circle my waist from behind, followed by sloppy kisses trailing up my neck. I don't have to turn around to know who it is. I'd love nothing more than to push him away and get his slimy hands off of me, but I know I can't. It's show time, and I have to go along with the act.     

I know millions of women lust after him everyday, and would kill to have him touch them, the way he's touching me right now, but I can't stand it. Having him feel me up like this, just makes me feel cheap. His mouth finally stops at my ear, while his hands continue to wander.    

"Hey." He whispers, and the feel of his warm breath on my neck sends a shiver down my spine.    

Clearly, he's got a few drinks in his system. Usually, any affection he shows me, comes across forced, but right now...it's all natural, and it's a little confusing.     

"Hi." I reply quietly, watching the people milling around in the living room.    

"Sorry I didn't tell you about this sooner. It was kind of last minute." He starts to slowly back us into the hallway, and I'm trying to scramble away from him, but he refuses to let go.    

It's almost like...he actually has feelings for me, but I know better than that. He's wasted, and playing his part, the same as I am.    

"It's alright."
    

"No, Madison...it's not." He turns me to face him, and looks me dead in the eyes. "I'm sorry. And, I'm gonna try to be better about all of this, alright?"    

"Ok, Justin." I force a smile and nod slowly.    

If he hadn't been drinking, I might actually believe him. However, I know people are capable of just about anything, once they've had a few too many. Hell, I'm living proof of that.    

He finally pins me against the wall, and his hands settle on my hips. His eyes are still locked with mine, and I have no clue what he's doing.  People are passing by us, every few minutes, but Justin doesn't seem to notice. It's like the only thing in the world he's focused on right now, is me.    

He leans in, and brushes his lips across my neck before slowly moving to my jaw, and eventually my mouth. Before I know it, my eyes flutter shut, and my arms instinctively slide around his neck as he deepens the kiss.    

This isn't the first time he's kissed me, but it's never felt like this. Normally, it's forced and awkward, but this...there's almost this need to it, and it just...it feels good. I can't describe it any other way. It just feels so damn good.    

When his hands move to the button of my jeans, I'm snapped back to reality. This is Justin. The man who has spent two months, criticizing and berating me, because he can't accept responsibility for his mistakes.     

I'm not stupid enough to let him sweet talk me into sleeping with him. He's drunk, and probably has no idea what he's saying or doing, and I'm sure he won't remember any of this in the morning.    

I quickly push him away, and duck into the living room before he has a chance to stop me.  I know how completely wrong that entire exchange was, but for some reason...I can't get the feel of his lips on mine, out of my head.    

I don't know what the hell is going on, but I'm afraid I may be attracted to my "husband", and that is definitely not a good thing.

"Look at this shit, man." Trace throws a copy of US Weekly down in front of me, and frowns. "And this isn't the only one...it's everywhere."    

I grab the magazine, and roll my eyes at the cover. The words "Trouble in paradise?" are printed in big, bold yellow letters, and underneath of them, is a picture of Madison seated on the front porch, holding her head in her hands.     

It's from the day I locked her out.     

I flip the magazine open, and stop when I reach the article. There's pictures of us at several appearances we've made, but the interesting ones are from that day. There's a few of me storming into the house, a few of Madison and Trace leaving the bar, on the porch, and of course...there's another four or five, of Madison sitting out there alone.    

Honestly, I don't know how anyone could have gotten that close. When I had this place built, I made damn sure that it was impossible to see the house from the street. But, somehow...they still managed to get their shots. Bastards.     

"Read it, man. It's not pretty." Trace sighs and shakes his head.     

"Trouble in paradise, already? It sure seems that way for America's newest 'it' couple, Justin Timberlake and Madison Fox.  They wed in a quicky ceremony in Vegas, a little over two months ago, shocking friends and family, as well as the nation. By all accounts, the couple seemed happy. They've been spotted at numerous events together, smiling happily and answering questions about their marriage.  Last Saturday, our sources spotted Ms. Fox out with Timberlake's personal assistant, Trace Ayala. The two headed into a small bar for several hours, before emerging, clearly inebriated. Not long after, Timberlake arrived to save the day, and escort the two home. Things seemed to take a turn for the worse at that point, and according to our sources, Timberlake locked his assistant, and new bride out of the house, for close to two hours, because of their hard partying. Reps for Fox and Timberlake refused to comment on the story, but speculation is quickly arising. Are the newlyweds headed for divorce, or can they hold onto martial bliss?"    

"That's fucking ridiculous." I toss the magazine into the trash, and glare at Trace. "Why even bring that shit home?"    

"Because, that's exactly what happened!" Trace squeaks. "All I know is, you better lay it on thick for this Rolling Stone thing tomorrow, cause if you don't...the shit's gonna hit the fan." He strolls out of the room, leaving me alone once again.     

I know it's not great that an article like that, is coming out so soon. But, it's normal. Those shit rags are always looking for the bad in any situation. I've dealt with them enough to know their games. I'm really not worried. Johnny will spin the story, and it'll be fine.     

Nobody pays any attention to the tabloids anyway. So, why should I?    

I'm going to ignore the bullshit, and focus on the Rolling Stone article. This thing, is crucial to the media buying the act Madison and I are putting on.    

If we don't come across as a happily married couple for this thing, everything will go to shit, and Johnny will probably kill both of us.     

It has to work. There's no other way around it.  

********************************************************    

I enter my living room and force the best smile I can, at the sight of a camera crew, and several reporters milling around.  There's about 20 of them total, including the stylists, assistants, and God only knows what else.     

Out of the thousands of interviews and photo shoots I've done, this one is a first for me. I've never welcomed these people into my home, and I sure as hell never let them wander around freely.    

I bypass all of the commotion in the living room, and find Madison, Beth, Jc and Trace in the kitchen. Madison is seated on the counter, giggling stupidly at something Jc is saying. 

I know it sounds kind of childish, but I really hate the fact that he's part of her little team. I mean, I fucking grew up with the guy. Even before all of this shit happened, we were still pretty good friends. I mean, we didn't really see each other, but I called him every chance I got.    

For the last two and a half months, the only time we've talked, is during meetings, or on the rare occasion he's here to do something for Madison. I guess you could say, this has kind of destroyed our friendship.    

"Justin, Madison...we're ready for you." An older woman smiles at me as she enters the kitchen. Madison hops off of the counter and links her arm through mine before leading me into the living room.     

"Nina has your clothes, we'll just need you to change, then we have some things to discuss. We'll get the photos out of the way, then Robert will conduct the interview. Any questions?"    

"I think we're good." Madison grins at the woman before collecting her clothes and disappearing into the bathroom.    

I should have known they'd do something fucking corny and make us wear matching outfits.         

I thought once I established myself as being more adult, this kind of shit would have ended, but apparently not. I mean...the clothes really aren't that bad, it's just so damn cliche.     

Madison steps out of the bathroom, and giggles when her baggy black dress pants pool at her feet. Right away, three women rush over to her and start fussing over her hair and make-up.    

I make my way into the bathroom and quickly change into the clothes that have been picked for me. My own pants are just as baggy as Madison's, and I can't help but roll my eyes.    

This is so fucking lame.     

My white T-shirt is a little tighter than I would have liked, but whatever. Clearly, I have no say in any of this.     

I step out of the bathroom and listen intently as Jc drones on about the questions that have been approved, and where in the house they're allowed to shoot. He goes a little overboard on pointing out that "our" bedroom is strictly off limits.     

Way to draw attention to it, Jace.    

The Rolling Stone folks agree without question, and I can't help but smile. People really are eating this shit up.     

They have absolutely no clue that Madison and I pretty much despise each other, and that you couldn't pay us to sleep in the same room, let alone the same bed.     

They decide that most of the shots should be taken in the studio, with a few in the living room and kitchen thrown in. The photographers begin setting up their equipment, leaving us to stand around until they're ready.    

Before I even realize what the hell is going on, a loud drumline is pounding through the house, followed by the sound of an 80's synthesizer. 

Madison is grinning from ear to ear, dancing and singing along, while Jc and Beth erupt in laughter.

No one looked
I walked by
Just an invitation would have been just fine
Said no to him again and again
First he took my heart then he ran    

I can safely say, that I have never heard this song ever in my 26 years, and could have gone the rest of my life without hearing it.         

She makes her way over to me, that same silly smile still planted on her face. I didn't notice it before, but her make-up is virtually non-existent, and for the first time since I met her, I can honestly say she looks good.         

Instead of being full of product and tangled, her hair is hanging straight, her bangs swept to the right side of her face. There's a light dusting of blush across her cheeks, and her eyeliner is so light, you can barely see it, but somehow...her eyes are as bright as ever. 

I don't know who this Nina woman is, but she's a fucking miracle worker, because she has made Madison Fox one of the most absolutely beautiful things I've ever seen.

Stand back, stand back
In the middle of my room
I did not hear from you
It's alright, it's alright
To be standing in a line
Standing in a line
To be standing in a line    

"What the hell is this crap?"    

The smile immediately falls from her face, and her jaw nearly hits the floor. "You...You don't know what this is?" She asks, disbelief written all over her face.    

"Afraid not."     

"This, is Stevie Nicks...and how dare you call it crap." Her smile is back full force as she presses her body against mine and guides my hips to the music.     

"I call em like I see em." I shrug.    

"FYI....Stevie Nicks is my idol." She whispers. "You'll probably need to know that." She nods, before releasing me and dancing back over to Beth.     

I don't think I've ever seen her this...fun. I mean, she's smiling and happy and just...this is not the girl I've been living with for the last two months. The transformation is almost unbelievable. I know part of it could be due to the fact that she's playing her part for the benefit of the cameras, but I've got a funny feeling that's not completely true.    

She's loud and silly and totally relaxed. I have to admit, this suits her much better than the angry, bitter side I've been seeing. If this was the girl I met in Vegas, it's not hard to see why I was attracted to her.    

The woman in charge, who I'm quickly learning is named Sheri, directs us to head down to the studio, and I have to swallow the lump that has formed in my throat.    

Outside of the bedroom I gave her, it's pretty much impossible to tell that Madison lives here. The studio just solidifies that.    

The walls are covered in the awards I've won, magazine covers I've been on, and my various platinum records. There isn't a single trace of Madison Fox in that studio, or anywhere else in the house.    

We really should have waited a little longer before we agreed to do this. We should have given ourselves the time settle her into the house, and throw some of her stuff around.   

It's the small details like that, that could throw this whole thing off.    

Everyone files down the steps, and as soon as my feet hit that last step, I can almost feel the shock register on my face. How in the hell.....    

The walls that were once filled with my accomplishments are now plastered with the plaques, magazine covers and awards of Madison Fox. A quick glance around the room, shows you every milestone in her career, as well as mine.    

"I did it last night." Jc says quietly and pats me on the back. "You can thank me later."    

I nod dumbly, looking around as the people from Rolling Stone admire the walls and snap a few photos. I don't know how he got in here and did all of this without me knowing, but thank God for Jc Chasez.    

I know it's kind of stupid, but it's finally dawning on me that I'm making all of this so much harder than it has to be. Granted, I'm not happy about the situation, and I still don't necessarily like Madison, but by acting like a spoiled, selfish dickhead, I'm making things incredibly difficult for everyone.    

Madison and I aren't the only ones involved in this, and we really need to start taking everyone else into consideration. There's really no telling what kind of mess we'd be in if we didn't have so many people getting us through this shit.    

Madison quickly pulls her acoustic guitar from its case, and plops down on the piano bench. She plays a few chords, but stops when I sit down beside her.    

"Jc did really good with getting your stuff down here."    

"Yeah, he did." She smiles fondly as her eyes scan the walls. "I wouldn't have any of it, if it wasn't for him."    

I'm quickly realizing, that not only do I know virtually nothing about her as a person, but I know even less about her career. Honestly, I don't think I've ever even heard her sing until that little display upstairs, and even then it was clear she wasn't using the full extent of her voice.    

Obviously, she has to be somewhat talented if Jc put his neck on the line for her. Back when he first got her signed, she was all he could talk about. Unfortunately, I was far too wrapped up in my own shit to listen, or really even care.    

"We're ready whenever you two are." Sheri calls out, and I feel every muscle in my body tense.     

I have no idea what I'm doing. I've done God knows how many photo shoots throughout my career, but for the first time, I haven't got a clue what the hell I'm doing.    

"Just act naturally. Like we aren't even here." Sheri says with a smile. Is she a mind reader or something?    

Madison begins playing yet another song I don't know, and not knowing what else to do, I try to follow her lead on the piano. She hums along for a few bars, before opening her mouth and letting out the most interesting sound I've ever heard.

Thunder only happens when it's raining
Players only love you when they're playing
Say... Women... they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean... you'll know    

I can honestly say, I've never heard a voice like hers. It's raspy, but still kind of clear and wraps around the lyrics beautifully. She's got one hell of an instrument, that's for damn sure.        

I almost wish I'd have discovered her myself.        

"Lemme guess...more Stevie Nicks?"    

She shakes her head with a smile, continuing to play. "Close, but no. It's Fleetwood Mac. Guess I'll have to educate you some time, huh?"    

"Guess so." I chuckle.    

Her playing stops suddenly, before she scoots closer to me on the bench, and plants a kiss on my temple. Before I even realize it, my lips are on hers and my hands are tangled in her hair.        

The girl can kiss. I'll give her that.    

"Damn...they keep this up, y'all might have the conception of their first child on film." Trace says loudly, and the entire room erupts in laughter.    

Madison pulls away from me to giggle with the rest of them, and I can't help but laugh myself.     

I expected to feel awkward during all of this, but I'm totally at ease. We're actually pulling it off. As unbelievable as it is, we're really doing it.     

Looks like I'm a pretty damn good actor after all.

******************************************    

We did it.    

We got through the photo shoot and interview. I don't know how, but we did it. The questions were all pretty basic, and luckily, we were able to help each other through the harder ones.    

After today, I've actually gained a bit of respect for Madison. When she was questioned about her past, she handled it with nothing but grace. She was honest and humble and just...I was completely blown away at how well she did.    

More and more everyday, I'm seeing that she is nothing like what the media has presented her as. The girl really has gotten screwed when it comes to that stuff. A lot of people probably would have cracked if they caught half the shit that she has.    

She's not this fame seeking, partying, uptight bitch that people have made her out to be. The more she talked, the more I got the impression that she's just a hard working, down to earth girl, who desperately wanted to sing.     

She's worked her ass off to get where she is, why shouldn't she be allowed to live it up a little? She's the first person I've ever seen, who is completely open about who she is, and the things she's done, whether they were good or bad.    

How can you not respect that?    

I stop in my tracks as I pass her bedroom door and stare at it. As soon as the house was cleared out, she disappeared up here, and I haven't seen her since. How somebody can spend four hours locked in one room, is beyond me.    

I knock and wait for her muffled "come in", before I open the door. She's perched in the middle of the bed, her guitar resting in her lap, a notebook spread out in front of her.    

One thing I have noticed about her, is that she seems to be constantly writing in that damn thing. Every time I turn around, she has her nose stuck in that notebook. At first, I thought it was a journal or something, but the more I think about it...it might be full of song lyrics.    

"You need something?" She asks, never taking her eyes off of the work in front of her.    

"Nah...I just...I wanted to let you know that you were really great today. They totally ate that shit up."    

"I did what I had to do." She shrugs.    

See? Just when she gets me thinking I was wrong about her, she goes right back to being a bitch.    

"I'm trying to be nice here, Madison."    

She gives me a bored look and rolls her eyes. "If you really want to be nice...you could get out." She smiles sarcastically before scribbling something else in her notebook.    

"Whatever." I sigh as I exit the room, making sure to slam the door on my way out.    

I give up. Why should I even bother with trying to get along with her, when she's just going to slap me in the face? I am not going to get down on my hands and knees, and kiss her ass like she's some God damned queen or something.   

 All of her "we're in this together" speeches are complete bullshit. She couldn't care less how all of this turns out. She has nothing to lose.    

I don't know what the hell she wants or expects from me, but I'm not going to sit around feeling sorry for her or myself. As far as I'm concerned, she can stay locked away in that room for 24 hours a day, and leave me the hell alone.     

I'll parade around, smile for the cameras and let the world believe I love this woman, but I'm done trying to make the best of a bad situation.    

I made a mistake. I know that, and I'll suffer the consequences. But, I'll be damned if she thinks I'll let her play the victim.     

I grab my phone and quickly dial Trace's number. "Get dressed. We're going out."

*************************************    

"Have you lost your damn mind, Justin?" Johnny shouts angrily, and all five of us jump in our seats.    

Yet again, I have made a massive mistake and some jackass pap was there to catch the whole fucking thing on film.    

I didn't plan on going out last night. Didn't plan on drinking entirely too much. Didn't plan on smoking that joint with Trace, and I certainly didn't plan on kissing that girl.    

I just...I needed to blow off some steam. I'm getting so tired of the constant arguing and bullshit. I'm so sick of having to watch every move I make. I feel like I can't even fucking breathe sometimes.    

I've dealt with a ton of stress in my life, but this is on a whole other level. I have to worry about how every single thing I do looks, or how someone might interpret it. It's exhausting.    

For one night, I just...I wanted to go back to my life.    

So, Trace and I hit a few clubs. It was a typical night for us...loud music, drinks and women throwing themselves at us every five minutes. I woke up this morning feeling better than I have in God knows how long.    

Call me crazy, but I've really missed that life. Especially the freedom.    

Marriage wasn't even an afterthought for me. I mean yeah...everybody wants to get married and have kids at some point, but I was by no means ready for any of it. I liked my life just the way it was.    

I wish I could remember that night more clearly. The last thing I can recall is walking into that God forsaken chapel. Trace was just as drunk as I was, if not worse, so he hasn't got a clue what the hell happened either.    

However, there is one person who knows every detail of that night, but for some reason...she isn't saying a word. She claims she doesn't remember anything, but we all know that Beth didn't have a single drink that night. For the life of me, I can't figure out why she won't tell us what happened.    

I thought Johnny could bring the legal team into it, and get her to enlighten the rest of us, but apparently lying isn't a crime. Good thing too, otherwise my ass would definitely be pulling a life sentence.    

"I mean...how hard is it, to just do what you're told?"    

"It's not...I just..."    

"I really don't feel like hearing excuses today, Justin. I just want to know what the hell made you think you could get away with this shit?"    

Deep down, I know he's completely justified in freaking out about this. I made out with that girl, knowing damn good and well that it could destroy the public image of my so called marriage.    

I could always just blame it on the liquor, but I think a part of me just didn't care what I did, or who saw it. I wanted my life back, even if it was just for a few hours.    

Of course, I didn't plan on a bunch of bastard photographers being there. I know, I should always keep an eye out for them, but they aren't allowed into the clubs like that. Whoever got those pictures, definitely wasn't a professional.    

"It was my fault." Madison says suddenly.    

"Oh really? And exactly how does that make it better?" Johnny eyes her menacingly, but she isn't backing down.    

"It doesn't make it right." She nods in agreement. "But, it isn't completely Justin's fault. I told him to go out...I told him to just forget about everything, and have a good time."    

"I guess if she tells you to jump off a bridge, you'll do that too?" Johnny rolls his eyes at me and shakes his head sadly. "Nothing I say is going to change what happened. All I can do is release a statement saying it isn't you. Luckily, the photos aren't all that great, probably taken by an amateur. But, I'm warning you, Justin...if anything like this happens again, there will be hell to pay. You're all free to leave."    

I let out a sigh of relief and we all file out of Johnny's office. Once we reach the elevators, Trace lets out a low whistle and shakes his head.    

"This shit just gets crazier everyday."    

"Trace, shut up." I mutter and roll my eyes. I really don't need him trying to be funny right now.    

"Hey man, don't get all pissy with me. I wasn't the one shoving my tongue down some chicks throat last night." He chuckles softly.    

"I just don't understand how they got in the club." Beth says quietly as we reach the first floor.    

As they step off the elevator she, Jc and Trace debate over how the pictures could have been taken, while Madison and I slowly trail behind them.    

"Thanks for trying to stick up for me with Johnny. You didn't have to do that."    

"Don't get used to it." She mutters as she laces her fingers through mine and we step outside.    

There's a group of photographers hanging around the doors and as soon as they spot us, they begin shouting out questions and taking pictures as quickly as their cameras will allow.    

If it wasn't for them...I wouldn't be in this mess. I'd still be free to do just about anything, and I wouldn't have to make excuses for every thing I do.    

Assholes.     

As soon as we reach the parking garage, Madison jerks her hand away from mine and jogs to catch up with Jc and Beth.     

The woman is seriously pushing me to the point of a psychotic break. One minute, she's ready to rip my head off, and the next she's trying to defend me.    

It just doesn't make sense. Nothing she does makes any damn sense, and trying to figure her out is completely exhausting.    

She has me constantly second guessing my own damn thoughts, and I can't take it anymore. Nobody has ever frustrated me as much as she does.     

She's gonna land me in the fucking nut house, I just know it.

"Stand Back"-Stevie Nicks

"Dreams"-Fleetwood Mac        

I tap my pen against the paper in front of me and groan inwardly. I've been working on this song since the day of the Rolling Stone shoot, almost three weeks ago. The melody was stuck in my head the entire day, and the first verse practically wrote itself, but it's like I can't form the right words anymore. Now, I'm stuck with a fourth of a song, and a bunch of chord progressions.     

Justin grabs my pen and shoves it in his pocket while glaring at me. "The repetitive sound thing is getting really fucking annoying."    

I roll my eyes and close my notebook before stuffing it in my purse. It's not like I was getting anything done anyway.    

We're on a plane, headed for my hometown of Chicago. The single was released yesterday, and now the promotion insanity begins.    

We'll spend the next week in Chicago, then there's a few days in New York, then it's back to L.A. Within the next two weeks, I'll do God knows how many radio shows, talk shows, interviews, photo shoots and once I'm settled back in L.A, we'll be filming the video.    

Needless to say, I'll be a very busy girl.    

When I packed my bags for this trip, I was damn near jumping up and down. I was thrilled at the idea of having two Justin-free weeks. But of course, that was shot to hell.    

Johnny and his people decided that since Justin is currently not working, it would look better if he tagged along while I work. I bet you can imagine the joy I felt about that.    

It's becoming harder and harder everyday to be around him. I can't pinpoint exactly how I feel about him, but it's going far beyond what it should.    

I like him. Plain and simple.    

I know I shouldn't, and I don't even know why I'm feeling all of this, but I do. My mother always told me that the heart wants what it wants, but I'm beginning to think I need to have my heart, and my head checked out.     

I can't honestly say what it is about him that I even like. I know, people always say women go for guys who treat them like dirt, but I don't think that's it either. The best I can come up with, is that this is fates way of screwing with me, and it's definitely working.    

I don't know how to act around him, I never know what to say and when he's around, there's this huge ball of nerves in my stomach. All he has to do is smile, and I turn into this shy, nervous teenage girl.     

Unfortunately, my defenses kick in and it's like, I do everything I can to push him away. I just...I'm terrified of him getting too close and being able to see right through me. I can't even begin to picture how he'd react if he knew I got weak in the knees every time he has to kiss me.    

It's no secret that he'd rather swallow nails than be around me, so you can see where my problem lies.     

I have a major attraction to a man who detests me. How pathetic am I?    

I'm also not too thrilled at the prospect of Justin meeting my family and friends. I'm sure, he'll turn on the charm and have everyone believing that he's this wonderful man who swept me off my feet. That's all good and well, but what's going to happen when they see that I can barely keep my hands from shaking when I'm around him?    

I was really looking forward to this trip, but right now I'd give anything to turn this plane around and haul ass back to California.     

Trace flips on the TV, and I can't help but roll my eyes at the sight of mine and Justin's pictures splashed across the screen. I don't know about the rest of the world, but I'm definitely getting tired of seeing my own face almost 24 hours a day.    

"The couple is headed to Fox's hometown to kick off her two week promo tour. Her second studio album is set to be released in mid-December. Timberlake will make an appearance in the video for the lead single, "One Minute", despite rumors of infidelity, the couple remains united. Spokesmen for Timberlake call those accusations, "ridiculous", citing the media's need for a story as the fuel behind them."    

"You know what's funny..."Trace says suddenly and looks over at us. "When they're right about stuff...people deny like hell."    

"That's probably because a lot of people have trouble with the truth." Justin mutters and glances at Beth quickly.     

I'm getting really tired of everyone accusing her of holding things back. I mean...I know she probably knows more about what happened in Vegas than the rest of us, but we all know the basic stuff. Justin and I got drunk, and got married. What else is there to possibly know?    

Luckily for Justin, Beth is way too nice to ever say anything. She'll let him think what he wants about her. She and I both know that she isn't doing anything wrong, and that's good enough for her.     

I think Justin just wants someone to blame. It's like, he's not happy unless he's got someone to criticize.     

"So...what are we doing in Chicago?" Trace asks and smiles at me. "You've probably got the in on all the really cool shit, right?"

"Afraid not." I giggle and shake my head. "My parents live in a pretty boring subdivision just outside the city. Not a whole lot goes on there."    

"We'll get into something. Trust me." He grins, before turning to Beth. "You'll party with me, right B?"    

I'm quickly learning that he loves to torment the hell out of her. Beth is so shy and quiet, sometimes you almost forget she's there, and Trace...I guess Trace is a little like me. He's loud and goofy and has to make his presence known at all times. He's doing everything he can to pull Beth out of her shell, but I doubt he'll succeed. I've been trying for years. Eventually, you just learn to accept the fact that she's happy being who she is.    

I figure, if she'd rather read a book than go out, so be it. It's her loss.     After another two hours and a heated argument over the armrest, that ended with Justin storming to the back of the plane to pout, we finally land in Chicago.    

The closer we get to my parents house, the tighter the knots in my stomach get, and I'm fighting the urge to throw up.    

I have no idea how this week is going to turn out, but all I can do is pray that Justin doesn't blow our cover by acting like a moron. We were able to pull the wool over his friends eyes, hopefully we can do the same with mine.

*********************************    

I walk into the house I grew up in, and right away the scent of coffee and cigarettes hits my nose. I know most people find the smell of smoke disgusting, but in a weird way, it's comforting to me.    

My dad has been a heavy smoker as far back as I can remember, I guess the smell just reminds me of him. Honestly, after you grow up around that distinctive smell, you kind of just get used to it.    

We dropped Beth, Jc and Trace off at a hotel before we headed here. There isn't nearly enough room in my parents house to accommodate all five of us, so it was our only option. Naturally, Justin spent a good 20 minutes whining about not wanting to stay here, but that was a battle he lost.     

How ridiculous would it look if I stayed with my parents, while he stayed a hotel? I mean..come on.    

I drag him through the den and into the kitchen, in search of my parents. I just want to get the introductions out of the way, and hopefully relieve some of the tension I'm feeling.     

If I'm lucky, everything will go the way I've been imagining, and Justin will charm the pants off of them. I know it doesn't matter if they like him or not, but this next week will be much easier if they do.     

We find my parents seated on the screened in back porch, my father reading the sports section of the newspaper and my mother with her nose buried in a mystery novel.  I've seen this exact image, God knows how many times in my life, and it never fails to bring a smile to my face.    

My parents are amazing. They've done nothing but support me my whole life, and I honestly couldn't ask for more. They weren't exactly thrilled with my decision to quit school at 16, but they knew there was no way I'd change my mind.     

Of course, my dad insisted I get my GED. He had all the faith in the world in me, but he wanted me to have a back up plan in case the music thing didn't pan out the way I'd hoped.     

I grab Justin's hand and pull him out onto the porch, my smile getting bigger by the second. I don't exactly miss Chicago, but I've missed my parents more than I ever thought possible.    

My mother looks up from her book and smiles warmly, before standing up and wrapping me in a tight hug. "It's so good to see you sweetheart."    

"I know...I missed you guys too."   

Justin stands beside me, looking around awkwardly. I almost feel bad for him. He's totally out of his element here. He's so used to being surrounded by his friends and family, having them adore him, but now...it's like he's not quite sure how to handle being virtually ignored.    

"Mom...this is Justin."     

I force the best smile I can as my mother eyes him carefully. Finally, she smiles and reaches out to shake his hand.    

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Fox." He grins.    

"You can stop with that Mrs. Fox nonsense. You're part of the family sweetie, call me Janie."    

My mother and Justin continue to chat and I turn my attention to my father, who has quietly been watching the entire exchange.     

My dad is...well, he can be kind of strange sometimes. He's incredibly cautious about people. He can look at someone and within a matter of seconds, decide if he likes them or not. Anytime he meets someone new, he'll sit back and watch them for a few minutes, before introducing himself.     

His theory was, if he could tell he didn't like him before he met them, why waste his time meeting them at all?    

I know, he's a little crazy.    

"You're being awfully quiet." I say and sit down next to him.    

"I'm observing, Maddie." He chuckles and shakes his head. "Have a good flight?"    

"It wasn't bad."

"Good, good." He nods and takes a quick sip of his coffee. "So, that's him huh?"

"Yeah, daddy...that's him."    

My father stares Justin down for what feels like hours, and I swear to God...he can tell. He can tell that Justin absolutely hates me, and this entire thing is a lie.    

I feel awful for lying to my parents, but I was given no choice. Johnny made it very clear that we weren't taking any chances, and I'm not about to be responsible for this whole thing falling apart around us. I'll let Justin run it into the ground himself, thank you very much.    

"He seems arrogant. I don't like him." My father says quietly, before picking up his paper again.     

Great, just fucking great. This week just took a major turn for the worse.     

My father has made it his mission in life, to make life miserable for any man I've ever brought home, whether he was a boyfriend or  just a friend. It took almost a year before he warmed up to Jc, and with Justin's attitude, I'm sure there's going to be a major war.     

Is it too late to hop a plane back to L.A?

***********************************    

"You're joking, right?"    

I look up at the brightly lit building in front of us and smile. "A guy I know owns the place. It's kind of the hang out for my friends."    

"Madison...it's a fucking karaoke bar." Justin frowns and shakes his head. "I'm not going in there."    

"Look...I put up with your drunk ass friends every night in L.A. I'm working my ass off for your benefit, it wouldn't kill you to do the same for one night."    

"I'm staying at your parents house, isn't that enough of a compromise?"    

"Just come on." I roll my eyes and step into the bar, Justin trailing reluctantly behind me.    

The bar looks exactly the same as it did the last time I was here over three years ago. Same neon signs, same beat up old payphone, same jukebox in the corner. I absolutely love this place.    

Right away, I spot my four friends in a corner booth and smile. I really don't make it home anywhere near as much as I should.     

Justin and I weave our way through the crowd, and stop as soon as we reach the table. Immediately, all four of them grin and for the first time since we landed, I don't feel nervous or awkward. I'm just happy to be here.     

"Well, well, well...if it isn't Mrs. Hollywood." Rob smirks as I slide into the booth.    

"Funny." I roll my eyes and giggle. "Guys, this is Justin...Justin, this is Rob, Chelsea, Mikey and Lindsay." Justin gives them all a small nod before easing into the booth next to me.     

"So...we were just picking our songs, what are you guys doing?"    

I look over at Chelsea and grin. We've been coming here for God knows how long, and her and I always do the same song together. I guess it's our corny little tradition.    

"Call Me." We say at the same time before giggling.     

Chelsea and I met in the fifth grade, and we've been best friends ever since. She's the only person I've ever known is just as loud and obnoxious as I am, and she shares my Fleetwood Mac obsession. She's a little more crass than I am, but I honestly believe we were made to be best friends.     

Unfortunately, that could also cause some problems on this trip. If anyone's able to see through mine and Justin's act, it'd be Chelsea.     

"Alright. Justin, how about you?" Mikey looks up from the song book expectantly.    

Justin shifts in his seat nervously and shakes his head. "I'm good, thanks."    

"Oh I don't think so. Everybody sings, popstar. Bar rules." Chelsea grins at him and takes a sip of her beer.    

"No, it's ok. I'll pass."     

If I know my friends, they aren't going to let this go and they'll have him up on that stage, whether he likes it or not.     

"Dude...me and Mike are doing Thriller." Rob says suddenly. "Linds...put him down to sing with us."    

"No...really...I'm good just hanging out."

"You already lost." Lindsay chuckles as she quickly scribbles Justin's name down and hurries off to the bar to turn in our song choices.   

Once Justin gets a couple beers in his system, he loosens up a bit, and starts talking sports with the boys. He's quickly fitting in with my friends, and I really couldn't be happier.  When I'm not working, my spare time is going to be spent with these four and my parents, so I desperately need Justin to get along with them. He and my mother clicked instantly, but my father spent most of the day ignoring him. As long as he can atleast blend in with my friends, it won't be too bad.     

"So, you guys are coming to the Halloween party Friday, right?"    

"I don't know. Hadn't really thought about it."    

Every year, the bar hosts this huge Halloween bash. It's been a few years since I was able to attend it, but it's basically the same each year. Everyone gets trashed and sings terrible karaoke versions of classic songs. Nothing out of the ordinary for this place, except for the mandatory rule that everyone wear a costume.    

"You have to come Maddie!" Chelsea squeals. "It's going to be so bad ass."    

"I seriously doubt we can find costumes in two days."    

"Use mine and Rob's from last year." She shrugs. "We went as Bonnie and Clyde."    

"Not surprising." I giggle before looking over at Justin. "What do you think?"    

"I could get into that." He nods slowly.     

I think I might die of shock. Is he actually agreeing to do something that doesn't center around him? I can't believe this.    

"Sweet. I'll bring them by in the morning." Chelsea smiles happily.    

Justin grins and kisses my forehead before slipping out of the booth and heading to the bar.     

I think that's what draws me to him. He never fails to surprise the hell out of me. It's like, he always does the exact opposite of what I expect and for some reason, I can't get enough of it.    

I really don't know how much longer I can go on like this. Eventually, someone is going to see right through me, and there's no telling what the hell could happen then.    

A couple hours and loads of drinks later, our table is the loudest and drunkest in the bar. Each of us has been up to sing several times, each performance more off key and horrible than the last. For some reason, we've latched onto doing every 80's song on the list. I'd say we're about half way through it now, and we'll probably finish the whole damn list before the night is through.     

We're making complete fools of ourselves, but atleast we're having fun. That's always been the thing with my friends, we never cared what we were doing as long as we enjoyed ourselves.     

"Alright, next up is Justin and Madison."    

At the sound of my name, my head snaps up and I look over at Justin. I did not put our names in for anything, so I can only assume one of my friends did.    

Justin smiles and reaches for my hand, then guides me up to the stage, our table giggling and shouting the entire time.     

He did it. He put our names in, and I have no idea what the hell he could have picked. With my luck, it's probably some stupid rap song that I've never heard, and I'll end up looking like a jackass in front of a full bar.    

A familiar keyboard intro begins as soon as we step on the small stage and I'm sure there's no hiding the shock on my face.     

He grins at me and pulls me against his side. "I do know one Fleetwood Mac song." He kisses my cheek quickly, then starts to belt out the words to the song.

If I could turn the page
In time then I'd rearrange just a day or two
Close my, close my, close my eyes
But I couldn't find a way
So I'll settle for one day to believe in you
Tell me, tell me, tell me lies
Tell me lies
Tell me sweet little lies
Tell me lies, tell me, tell me lies
Oh, no, no you can't disguise
You can't disguise, no you can't disguise
Tell me lies
Tell me sweet little lies        

He's unbelievable. You could have asked me this afternoon, if I thought he'd actually learned anything about me, and I probably would have died laughing. Granted, remembering a favorite band isn't exactly a big deal to a normal person, but for us...this is big. He's done everything he can to prove that he doesn't care, and can't wait to have me out of his life, but this contradicts all of that.     

I don't know how he does it, but he never ceases to amaze me. Suddenly, it doesn't seem so hard to believe that I could be falling for him.

***********************************    

"Well, what do ya think?" I turn to face Chelsea and strike a pose.    

"Looks better on you than it did on me." She shrugs. "I didn't have the ass for the skirt."    

"You don't really have the ass for those pants either." I giggle as she sticks her tongue out at me. I straighten my black sleeveless blouse before throwing on my white jacket, then turn to face her again. "Exactly why do you and Rob go as a couple every year?"    

Every year, whether I'm there to see it or not, Chelsea sends me pictures from the party, and every year, her and Rob are dressed as some famous couple. They've done them all... Romeo and Juliet, Bonnie and Clyde, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, and...I would never dream of telling him this, but one year they even went as Justin and Britney.    

Now, if Rob and Chelsea were dating, it'd make sense, but they aren't. Although, they did have a little fling several years ago.        

"It's an inside joke. Ya know...our relationship was doomed from the start, so we just always went as couples that never worked out." She laughs and rolls her eyes. "It's corny as hell, I know."    

"A little bit. Who are you supposed to be this year?"    

She smiles before grabbing her long black wig and throwing it on. "Sonny and Cher. Duh. Anyway, enough about me...let's hear some dirt on the king of pop."    

"There isn't any." I shrug as I place my beret neatly on my head. "Justin's...he's pretty great actually."    

"Maddie my dear, you cannot lie to me. Don't sit there and expect me to believe the guy is perfect. Besides, he's so not your type."    

I swallow the lump that's formed in my throat and shrug again. I knew it. I knew she'd be able to tell. I guess now I'll finally have to tell someone the truth and suffer the consequences.    

"It's...it's hard to explain."    

"Understandable. I mean, I can tell you guys are crazy about each other. It's just so weird."        

I breathe a sigh of relief and smile as Chelsea continues to ramble. Someone is definitely watching out for me. I thought for sure, she'd seen through us and was going to call me on it. Right now, I'm thanking God that she didn't. We can't afford to have anyone figure us out. It's too late to get out of our lie now.    

"Anyway, you ready?" She asks suddenly.    

I look myself over in the mirror one final time, smooth the wrinkles from my black silk pencil skirt, make sure my beret is in place, and apply another coat of lip gloss.    

"Yeah, I'm ready."    

I follow her down the stairs and my breath catches in my throat at the sight of Justin in his costume. He totally looks the part of a 1930's gangster and it's absolutely adorable. The man looks damn good in a fedora and pinstripes.  

"Check this out!" He says excitedly and holds up a fake Tommy gun. "How fuckin cool is this?"    

"It's a costume sweetie. You aren't part of the mob." I chuckle and kiss him quickly.     

"Alright, let's go. I have beer to drink and songs to butcher." Rob calls out as he heads for the door.    

"You four wait right there." My mother heads for us, camera in hand.   

"Mom...come on..." I whine.     

Suddenly, I know how every teenager in the world feels when they're trying to leave for the prom.    

"Oh just let me get a few." She laughs and shakes her head. "You all look great."    

We pose for several pictures, and finally head out of the house. Within 20 minutes, we're seated at Rob and Chelsea's usual booth, waiting on our first round of drinks. Mikey and Lindsay arrive not long after we do, Mikey dressed as the phantom of the opera, while Lindsay is in a full Playboy bunny costume.    

The bar is even more packed than usual and for the first time in God knows how long, I actually feel like a normal person. Tonight, I don't have to worry about fans, the press, deadlines or record labels. I can just be with the people I care about and have a good time.    

Another hour passes before Beth, Jc and Trace show up, and I can't hold in my laughter at the sight of them. Jc is clearly supposed to be Johnny Cash, while Trace is dressed in a ridiculously tight batman costume.    

He really is a huge dork.    

However, Beth is the shocking one. I fully expected her to walk in here, wearing a T-shirt and jeans, claiming to be a librarian or something. Instead, she's dressed in the skimpiest wonder woman costume imaginable, hair and make-up done to the nines. She almost doesn't even look like the same person.    

Before I know it, we're in the exact same situation we were the other night. Our whole table is good and buzzed, arguing over song choices and rushing to turn them in. Beth wandered off awhile ago and I haven't seen her since.    

Knowing her, she probably ditched us and went back to the hotel to read.    

"Alright...I got it. This is gonna be the shit man." Justin grins and writes his next song down before taking it to the bar.    

"Man...you guys have to come back more often. That guy is cool as hell, Maddie. You got yourself a good one girl." Lindsay says while watching Justin strut off.    

"Yeah, I do." I force the best smile I can and nod slowly.    

It almost hurts to hear that. Number one, he's done nothing but treat me like shit since the night we met. I know, I haven't exactly been an angel either, but atleast I'm trying.    

Secondly, he isn't mine and I'm positive that he never will be. Once this thing runs its course, we'll go our separate ways and that'll be the end of it. He's putting on a show, and even I can admit, he's giving a damn good performance. There's moments where he even has me fooled.    

When they call his name over the loud speaker, he quickly hops up on the stage and the intro to "Billie Jean" booms throughout the bar.     

He really can be adorable sometimes.    

As he sings and dances along, I can't help but smile. After tonight, it's becoming very clear that I'm falling for him, and I'm afraid there isn't anything I can do to stop it.

*******************************    

We stumble into my parents house, Justin shushing my uncontrollable giggles and quickly collapse onto the couch.     

I can't even begin to guess what time it is, but I know it's pretty late. My parents both probably went to bed hours ago, and I'm sure if I keep laughing like this, one of them is bound to wake up.     

Without thinking, I straddle Justin's lap and slide my arms around his neck.     

"Madison...what the hell?"     

"Shut up." I mutter before my lips connect with his.    

It takes him a few minutes to relax and kiss me back, but when he does, electricity surges through my entire body. He fingers dig into my hips and he presses me into his lap, trying to build some friction where we both need it the most.    

Suddenly, the light at the top of the stairs comes on and my father's voice calls out to us.    

"Maddie...is that you?"    

I pull away from Justin and try to suppress my giggle. "Yeah, daddy...we just got home."    

"Alright...make sure you turn off all the lights."    

"You're drunk, your dad almost caught that....and I think we both need to sleep. It's almost five in the morning." Justin yawns loudly and shakes his head.  

"Probably."I giggle. "Look...thanks for being so great the last couple days. I really appreciate it."    

"It's all good." He shrugs. "I didn't think I would, but I kind of like it here. Your friends are awesome."    

"Ya know...this is a lot easier when we can get along."    

"Yeah, it is." He smiles and shakes his head. "Truce?"    

"Yeah...truce." I nod as I slide off his lap. He quickly makes his way to the guest bedroom and I plop down on the couch and let out a loud sigh.     

I really don't know how much longer I can keep up this act. Hiding these feelings is damn near impossible and it just gets worse everyday.     

It's been hard to hide them with him hating me, what's going to happen now that we've agreed to get along?

"Little Lies"-Fleetwood Mac        

"What happens when you ask Justin Timberlake to give his best Michael Jackson impression? He delivers!  JT is currently in Chicago, joining wife Madison Fox on her whirlwind promotional tour for the first single off of her highly anticipated second album. But, it's not all work for these two. The couple took time out of their busy schedules to attend a Halloween party on Friday.  Timberlake delivered a stellar performance of Jackson's 80's classic, "Billie Jean", and only E! News has the exclusive footage, as well of photos of the couple decked out in their Bonnie and Clyde costumes."   

Madison giggles as a video of my drunk ass doing karaoke appears on television. Even I can admit, it is pretty funny, but it does bother me just a little.    

If we'd been at a party in my hometown, we wouldn't be watching this right now. Nothing that went on in Memphis, would have gotten out.    

Somebody at that party, sold us out.    

I mean, I know it's not really a big deal, but it's the principle.     

Several pictures flash across the screen, Madison's laughter dies, and she looks over at me, tears welling up in her eyes.    

"How...how'd they get my mom's pictures?"    

I really can't help feeling bad for her. I mean, I'm not saying her parents would sell pictures of her to the press or anything, but stranger things have happened and it is pretty odd that they've got the pictures her mother took in their home.    

Just yesterday, she got the pictures developed and gave Madison copies of them. This doesn't make any damn sense.    

She immediately grabs her phone and starts frantically dialing numbers. I'm not sure who she's calling, but I'd guarantee that Jc and Beth are probably on the list.    

I'm sure I'll be hearing from Johnny any minute now.    

I can't understand why things like this are getting out. Damn near everyday, we're seeing our lives splashed across television, the internet and magazines.    

I mean, I know Johnny wants our "marriage" all out in the open, but that only goes so far. Outside of interviews, photo shoots and public appearances, we are still trying to live our lives here. We don't need every second of our time broadcast to the world. If we did, we'd be doing some lame ass reality show.   

My phone rings loudly and I can't help but chuckle at the name flashing on the screen.    I knew it.    

"Hey Johnny...I just saw it."    

He lets out a long sigh and I can just see him shaking his head. "I think I've talked to almost all of Chicago in the last ten minutes."    

"Oh yeah?"    

"Yeah. We think someone in the bar may have been a fan and probably caught the video on a digital camera. As far the photos, Mrs. Fox had them developed in a drugstore there, and chances are good, the clerk made copies and sold them. E! paid a pretty hefty sum for them too."    

"You're being awfully calm about this."

"It could always be worse. Honestly Justin, I'm not too upset that this got out. It portrays you two as a normal couple, and that's exactly what we want. Not to mention the fact that it will just bring in more money."    

"Yeah...all about the image and the money, ain't it?" I mutter and roll my eyes. "I gotta go Johnny." Before he can respond, I snap my phone shut and turn it off.    

It absolutely kills me that he's totally cool with this. I mean, I have the utmost respect for the guy, and I couldn't even begin to thank him for everything he's done for me, but this just isn't right.    

I realize I made a huge mistake in marrying Madison, but I'm still a fucking human being. I'm not some God damned performing monkey, and I'm getting really tired of being treated like a dollar sign.    

I guess it's kind of stupid, but Madison's the one who's kind of been bringing this shit to my attention. She's the one making me realize how wrong all of this is. If it wasn't for her, I'd probably do exactly what I'm told, and keep my mouth shut.     

Through this whole thing, she's never had any problem voicing her opinion. She's let everyone know that she completely disagrees with all of it. Unfortunately, it's all fallen on deaf ears. Nobody seems to really care that we're sacrificing every aspect of our lives, just so they can make some money.     

More and more every day, I'm realizing that, that's exactly what this about. It's not about maintaining my good name, it's not about cleaning up Madison's image. It's all about the fucking money.

****************************************    

"Ya know...this past week has been pretty rough on her." Jc says quietly as he appears at my side.    

I nod slowly and smile as I watch Madison from behind the glass of the DJ booth. "You wouldn't know it though."    

"Yeah, she's tough man." He laughs and shakes his head.    

Rough doesn't even begin to describe our week in Chicago. Almost everyday, there were pictures and videos of us splashed across every media outlet in existence.    

Normally, it wouldn't be that big of a deal, however, the pictures that have been surfacing lately aren't the typical paparazzi photos. Most of them were taken on nights we were out with her friends or family, and some of them were actually taken by people we'd been with.    

Needless to say, a bit of suspicion began to rise. Someone close to Madison, is selling her out, it's just a matter of figuring out who.    

My first guess was Beth, but I've since been proven wrong. We've been in New York for three days and nothing else has come out. If it was Beth...it would still be happening.    

A small part of me thinks it may have been Chelsea. She had a damn camera with her everywhere we went, and she was constantly asking questions about our "relationship."    

I'm not accusing her or anything, but it all looks a little funny.    

Madison's handling the whole thing a lot better than I expected though. She's kept her cool and has pretty much ignored it. Which, is usually the best way to deal with these sorts of things.    

Luckily, it hasn't really turned into too big of a deal, yet. It's been pictures and updates on what we're doing, so really...it could be a lot worse. Johnny figures that as long as they aren't printing any crazy stories, we're alright.    

Madison finally steps out of the booth and smiles at us. "How'd it go?"    

"Really well, actually." Jc nods. "They want you to do some station promos, then you're free." She nods, then follows Beth down the hallway, leaving Jc and I alone again.    

We head into an empty conference room to wait for Madison, and I'm finding it damn near impossible to sit still. I know just how long those station promos can last and I am not looking forward to sitting around and waiting, but I don't have much of a choice.    

I still don't really understand why I had to come along on this trip. I get that it makes our "marriage" look more realistic or whatever, but there are much more important things I could be doing right now...like catching up on some damn sleep. I just came off of an almost year long tour...some rest would be appreciated, but I guess this is my punishment for kissing that girl in that club.    

"So...I've been doing some thinking." Jc says suddenly. "All of this press stuff is getting kinda weird, ya know? The stuff that's been coming out is a little too up close and personal."    

"Yeah, no shit man. I don't get it."    

"I don't either." He chuckles and shakes his head. "But...I've been keeping an eye on who's around when this shit goes down, and I can't help noticing that Trace has been there every time."    

Is he for real? He's known Trace as long as he's known me. He has to know that there is no fucking way Trace would ever do something like this. Hell...he's helped me cover shit up before, why would he suddenly sell me out?    

"Trust me C...it's not him."    

"You sure?"

"Positive man. C'mon...you know Trace."    

"I'm not accusing him or anything." He holds his hands up defensively and shakes his head. "I'm just trying to figure this thing out. I'm not trying to offend anybody."    

"It's cool." I shrug and take a sip of my water. "The one you probably need to watch out for is that damn Chelsea. She had a fucking camera everywhere we went and she asked way too many questions about me and Madison."    

"I'll call Johnny and have him check it out." He says with a short nod. "Just...do me a solid and don't tell Madison about this. She'd freak, and I really need her on her A game these next few weeks....it's make or break for her right now."    

"It's all good man."    

As long as Johnny is looking into this, there's nothing to worry about. He'll get to the bottom of it. I just hope he figures it out before it causes some real problems for Madison and I.    

Our situation is bad enough as is, we don't need any more stress or extra media scrutiny.

********************************    

"Morning popstar."    

I roll my eyes as Chelsea plops down next to me and grins. We've been back in L.A for less than 24 hours, and already she's decided to drop by. According to Madison, Chelsea has made an appearance in all of her videos and that tradition isn't about to change. Madison thinks she's some kind of good luck charm, or some corny shit like that.    

"Hey Chelsea." I smile politely and nod in her direction. "Madison's in wardrobe."    

"I figured." She chuckles. "They always spend hours making her all up, trying to get her to look like some bad ass, and she always looks like plain old Maddie to me."    

"Yeah, I know what you mean." I force a laugh and shake my head.    

I have no idea what she's talking about.    

I should probably do some research on the woman who's supposed to be my wife. I've never seen a single one of her videos, or even heard any of her original material. I mean, I know she has this rocker chick label tagged on her, so I can kind of assume what her sound is like, but there's no real way to tell without actually listening to it.    

Maybe, on my way home I'll stop somewhere and grab her album.     

It's kind of odd, but now that we're getting along, I'm finding her kind of intriguing. I still wouldn't say that I know her very well or anything, but I'm slowly picking up on some details. I've been paying much more attention when she talks during interviews and I had Trace look up some clips on Youtube.    

While she's working or sleeping, I'm holed up in my room, trying to learn everything I can about her.     

There's just...there's something about her that you just can't ignore. It's like you have to hear what she's going to say, or you just can't wait to see what she'll do next. It's weird as hell, and I can't explain it, but it's the truth.    

Besides, learning whatever I can about her, will only help our situation in the long run. The better we seem to know each other, the more believable this whole thing will be.     

We're still waiting for the Rolling Stone article to print, but general opinion is that it went really well. So much so, that Johnny has scheduled several more, similar interviews. Personally, I think the outcome of the Rolling Stone thing was a stroke of luck, so if we're going to do anything else like it, we need to step up our game.    

As long as things keep going the way they are now, I have no doubt that we'll pull this thing off, and who knows...maybe if we get through this, Madison and I can stay friends.    

At first, I probably would have gagged at that thought, but now...it doesn't seem like such a terrible idea. It took awhile for me to wake up, but now that I've kind of gotten over the initial shock of being married to a woman I don't know, I've realized that she isn't so bad. She can be pretty cool and sometimes, I think I might actually miss her if she was gone.    

"So...you guys have any big plans for the holidays?"    

Here we go again. I really wouldn't be surprised if she pulls out a camera and starts snapping my picture.     

I guess, her questions could all be taken as friendly curiosity....I mean, I did marry her best friend out of fucking nowhere, but something just isn't right about this girl. I can't even really figure out what it is, but something is definitely off.    

"Nah, not really. We'll probably spend Christmas and New Years in Memphis with my family."    

"That's cool." She nods slowly. "Maddie's parents won't be too happy though. Christmas is a pretty big deal for them."    

"Yeah, we'll figure something out."  I shrug and she drops the subject.    

"Hi Chelsea." Beth smiles sweetly as she takes a seat next to me. Chelsea rolls her eyes before muttering a short hello.    

That's something else that's a little strange...Chelsea is the only person I've met, who doesn't seem to think much of Beth. Granted, I had my doubts about her honesty and loyalty, but she's still a nice girl. She's a little on the shy and quiet side, but some people are just like that.   

A week or so ago, I was convinced that Beth was selling stuff to the press, but everything has died down since we left Chicago, which leads me to believe it's Chelsea.    

It sounds a little crazy, but I'd kind of like to test her, make up some ridiculous story just to see if it'd wind up in the papers tomorrow. I know it's a little out there, but it might be worth a shot.    

"Hey man...they want you in make up in a few." Trace announces as he takes the last seat.    

It's now or never. If I'm going to pull one over on Chelsea, this is my chance, especially while someone I trust is here. I'll need a witness and I trust Trace more than anyone in the world.    

"So...me and Madison were talking the other night, we think we're ready to have a baby." I smile as all three heads jerk in my direction. Trace gives me a strange look, before nodding in understanding.    

He knows exactly what I'm doing.    

"Are you kidding? That's a terrible idea!" Chelsea shakes her head and sighs. "The album is just coming out, she'll be touring, doing promotion. Could you have picked a worse time?"    

"We've got it all figured out. She's just going to take some time off. We both think family is more important than work."    

"Good luck with that then." She mutters before turning back to her magazine. Trace shakes his head and chuckles, while Beth remains silent, her eyes glued to her palm pilot.    

There....it's all set up, and now...I just have to wait for the inevitable. It's Chelsea...I know damn well it is.     

This time tomorrow, that story is going to be front page news, and it's all because of the greedy, selfish, backstabbing redhead sitting next to me.

*******************************************    

"Action!"
    

I lean back in my chair and give my best attempt at staring lustfully at my "wife", like I was instructed. Surprisingly, that isn't too difficult to do today cause the girl looks damn good.    

I swear to God, they had to have poured her into her ripped jeans and the white tank top and black vest she's wearing, should be illegal in all 50 states. It's low cut enough to be revealing, but still leaves a little to the imagination and it's sexy as hell.    

I could do without the dark, heavy make-up she insists on wearing, but for this...it actually works. Chelsea wasn't kidding when she said they try to make Madison up as some type of bad ass. They've succeeded, if you ask me. She looks like she could kick my ass in a heartbeat, but that's not stopping a single one of the numerous inappropriate thoughts that are racing through my mind.     

I could do things to that girl that would make her fucking head spin..    

Anyway...    

I'm not quite sure why I had to be in this video. I'll be on screen for maybe five seconds and my appearance has nothing to do with the song, or the video, but then again...the video has nothing to do with what I've heard of the song either.     

I've been trying to listen as closely as possible, to get a feel for her sound, but the music is so damn loud, I can barely understand the lyrics.    

I guess it sounds alright, it's just not really my thing.    

The video seems a little strange too. I didn't get to hear the full treatment, but I know it's centered around mostly performance shots in the makeshift bar that's been set up. There's also a room marked closed set, people have been running in and out of it all morning. There's really no telling what they've got planned.    

Contrary to popular belief, a director will close a set for whatever he or she, damn well pleases. Most of the time, it's reserved for nude scenes, surprise shots that aren't supposed to be leaked, or if there's just too damn many people around.    

With Madison, it could be any of the three.    

Cut is called after several minutes and I relax as the set gets a little quieter.     

I get Johnny's thinking behind having me pop up in Madison's video, but it still seems kind of stupid. I mean, what's the point of having me play the part of a guy in the bar, watching her sing? I'm basically an extra.    

Which, honestly...isn't such a bad thing. I'm so used to being the one getting pushed in a thousand different directions, told what to wear, how to move, which camera to look at. It's kind of nice to just show up, sit here and watch everything around me.         

"Bored?" Madison smirks as she plops down in my lap and throws an arm around my shoulders.     

"A little bit. It's kind of weird to not have this all revolving around me." I shrug. "You look...really good, by the way."    

She nods her thanks and gives me a small smile. "Where is everybody?"    

"Trace is doing some shit for me...Chelsea's in make-up, and Beth...I don't know where the hell she went."    

"Alright, well I'm gonna go find Chels...I think they're done with you, so you can probably head out."    

"Actually...I kind of wanted to warn you...some shit may come up tomorrow."    

"Such as?"    

"Let's just say...this time tomorrow, we'll know who's been selling shit to the press." I smile proudly and she rolls her eyes.    

"Nobody is selling us out, Justin. You've dealt with this shit enough to know that they'll always get a story...even if they have to make it up."    

"Then explain the pictures."    

"It's like Johnny said, whoever developed them probably made copies. Just let it go." She sighs and stands up before disappearing into the crowd.    

I think she's in denial. Deep down, she has to know that there's no way this is just some coincidence. Someone is intentionally doing this shit and they're making a hell of a lot of money off of it.    

Madison seems to have a little too much faith in people. She's way too trusting to be in the entertainment industry and if she doesn't start putting her guard up, it's going to cost her. Money makes people do crazy shit, and those people are capable of almost anything. They don't care who they hurt or what they destroy.     

I just hope I can make her see that before she ends up getting big time screwed.

*********************    

"And baby makes three? So it seems for America's favorite musical couple! Our sources close to Madison Fox and Justin Timberlake, say the couple is ready to settle down and start their family. Timberlake himself said that they both consider family to take priority over work, and Fox will most likely take an extended break from music. So, what does this mean for her upcoming album, slated for release next month? According to our source, Fox will make the talk show rounds while promoting the album, but will not tour."    

I knew it! I so fucking knew it!    

I knew that damn Chelsea couldn't be trusted, and here is the proof, word for fucking word!     

We can finally put a stop to this crap and hopefully, get back to the plans Johnny laid out for us. I'm sure he'll be calling about this any minute now, and I can't wait to tell him that I solved the big mystery on my own.    

God...I love being right.    

I hear the back door open and shut quickly, signaling Trace's arrival from the guest house. As soon as I saw the paper this morning, I called and told him to get his ass over here. He just has to see this.    

"What's up?" He asks as he strolls into the living room.    

"It worked man, all that shit I told Chelsea yesterday is in here." I toss him the magazine and he browses it quickly before giving me a skeptical look.    

"Are you sure man? I mean...there were a lot of people around yesterday...anybody could have heard you."    

"I'm telling you Trace...it's her."    

He shakes his head and lets out a loud sigh. "Look, you know I've got your back no matter what, but I think you're wrong about this. Madison and Chelsea have been best friends almost as long as we have, Chelsea selling Madison out, would be like me doing it to you."

"That's different." I mutter.    

"Not really." He shakes his head with a laugh. "I ain't buying it man. It could have been anybody."

"Whatever...Jace and Johnny think it's somebody close to us. They'll believe it."    

"I'm not saying it's not somebody around you...I just don't think it's her. She wasn't the only one around when you said all of that shit."    

"Whatever. I know I'm right." I grin as my phone rings. "And Johnny's about to know it too." Trace shakes his head sadly before heading into the kitchen.    

As soon as I answer, Johnny is going off, screaming at me for saying something so stupid and bringing even more attention to Madison and I. He's really starting to contradict himself. Originally, he said he wanted our marriage out in the open, but now it's like he wants to cover everything up.    

The only thing I can figure is that he's waiting for the unwanted publicity to die down before he takes complete control and does whatever the hell he wants with us.    

I explain everything to him, the way Chelsea acts around me, the questions she asks and how I set her up. He seems to think I'm onto something, says he's got some calls to make, then quickly hangs up.    

The ball is officially in motion.     

Almost another hour passes before Madison stomps down the stairs,  frowning and muttering to herself the whole way. Guess she finally heard the story of the day.    

"Please explain to me why, I just saw a story on E! about me retiring from music to start a family with you."    

"You're retiring? I thought you just wanted to take a year off to have the baby, sweetheart."      

She rolls her eyes and folds her arms over her chest. "Don't be cute. I'm not in the mood. What the hell did you do?"    

"I got the truth." I shrug and move into the kitchen, hoping Trace will offer some type of distraction.    

"The truth about what? I'm not having a baby, and I'm sure as hell not having one with you!"    

"I tried to tell you that one of your friends was screwing us...and it looks like I'm right."

"For the millionth time...Beth isn't doing anything Justin."    

"No, but Chelsea is."    

She takes several steps back and gives me a horrified look, like I just slapped her in the face or something.     

I guess I could use some training in the sensitivity department, but I'm right and I deserve to gloat a little. She had to know this was coming.    

"First you accuse my assistant, and now you're accusing my best friend? Get a fucking grip Justin! How do you know it's not your manager, who was so dead set on making us stay married? He's about as money hungry as it gets!"    

She's yelling...no, I take that back, she's screaming at me and all my traitorous best friend can do, is stand in the corner and laugh.     

I know there's a slight chance I could be wrong, but I've just got this gut feeling. It's Chelsea. It has to be, right? I know there's a lot of doubt surrounding this whole thing, but there's a lot of evidence stacked up against Chelsea.     

It's her. I know it is. I just have to make Madison see that her best friend isn't the person she thinks she is.

************************************    

"It's not her." Johnny says simply as he tosses several sheets of paper down in front of me. "I've had her followed for the past week, and there's nothing to indicate that she's sold anything to anyone."    

"So you can call off the witch hunt." Madison adds with a smirk.    

I ignore her and look over at Johnny. "Are you sure?"

"Positive Justin. I've talked to some of my contacts at E! and several of the magazines that have been running these stories. They've never heard of Chelsea Clark."    

"Come on Johnny...you know they never name their sources."    

"This is true, but you should know by now, that I have ways around those kinds of things." He grins widely and shrugs. "I do believe someone around you two is doing this, but obviously, it's not someone who knows the truth about your marriage."    

"Chelsea doesn't know the truth." I mutter and roll my eyes.    

"Be that as it may, it isn't her Justin. Just watch what you say and how you act from now on. Eventually, this will blow over." He gives me another wide smile and all I can do is nod.    

I have no choice but to trust him. There have been plenty of times where I've questioned his decisions, but he has yet to steer me wrong. Even with this marriage nonsense...as much as I was against it, he was right. The truth could have ruined me.    

"Jc and I have decided that it would be best if the two of you lay low until Christmas. Madison, your album is out in two weeks and you've got a lot of work ahead of you. You need to focus on that rather than media issues."    

I know she's beyond livid that I accused Chelsea of selling us out, and I guess...I can't really blame her. If she was accusing Trace, I know I'd be pissed.     

"Anyway...thank you for coming in. Give me a call if you need anything." Johnny dismisses us with a nod and we both move to stroll out of the office. "Oh, and Madison...next time you put a semi-nude scene in one of your videos, I'd like to know about it beforehand. Justin does have an image to protect, and having his wife prance around naked, doesn't help any."    

So, that explains the closed set. Call me a perv, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to seeing that video.      

In what has now become our routine, Madison laces her fingers through mine as we head out of the office, and make our way to my car. She doesn't say a word as we force our way through the crowd of photographers, and I'm starting to feel a little bad.    

Maybe I did jump to conclusions, but everything I saw and heard led me to believe it was Chelsea. I mean really, what the hell else was I supposed to think?    

When Madison slams the passenger door shut, I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Flipping out and acting like a dick isn't going to help this, so I'll do the adult thing, admit I was wrong and apologize.    

"Look...I..."    

"Save it." She interrupts me and rolls her eyes.     

"I'm sorry, alright? Everything just looked a little funny."    

"Whatever. It doesn't matter."    

I really am trying here. I mean, I was trying to get this thing figured out for her, I was...I guess I was trying to protect her. I know how it feels to be used by the people around you, and I don't want to see anyone go through something like that.    

"You wanna grab something to eat before we head home?"    

"I don't care."     

"Come on Madison, work with me here."    

I've been told all my life, that I'm horribly stubborn, but I don't have anything on Madison. When she's angry, she's unrelenting and it's virtually impossible to get her to budge an inch. She'll stay pissed until she feels like calming down, and there isn't a thing I can do about it.    

"Work with you? That's what I've been trying to do for three months and you make it fucking impossible Justin."

"I said I was sorry, can't you just drop it? Jesus."     

"I'll drop it when you get over yourself and realize that the world isn't out to get you. Not everybody has an ulterior motive, and...I think you owe Chelsea a HUGE apology."    

"Fine." I say through gritted teeth as I swing into the parking lot of a small diner, not far from my house.     

For awhile there, I really thought we'd made some progress. I thought we'd finally put all the bickering behind us. So much for that truce I guess. She continues to rant as we head into the restaurant and that's when it finally hits me.    

We argue like...like an actual married couple.

I strum along with the opening chords of the song pouring from the speakers and smile stupidly. I know it's silly and childish, but The Chipmunk Song has always been my absolute favorite Christmas song. Even when I was little, I'd run through the house, screaming the lyrics at the top of my lungs, from the day after Thanksgiving, until Christmas day.     

What can I say...I was a weird little kid.     

The door to the bedroom creaks open, and Justin appears in the doorway. He gives me an awkward smile before stepping inside cautiously.     

He's kind of been tiptoeing around me the last several weeks, and even though I'm still angry, I do feel a little bad for taking my aggravation out on him. Granted, he does deserve some of it.    

Number one, he had no right to accuse Chelsea of anything. He doesn't know a single thing about her and probably never will. He was way too quick to judge her, and I was ecstatic when Johnny proved him wrong.    

Secondly...my album has been out for a little over two weeks, and honestly...it's not selling the way we expected. Everyone had really high hopes for those first week sales, but it didn't come anywhere near what we'd thought it would.     

I know it's stupid to be upset about it. I should be glad that I even got the chance to put out a second album, but knowing that no one wants to hear it, is kind of a slap in the face. The label seems to think the sales will pick up after the holidays, but I'm not so sure. I've got this overwhelmingly bad feeling about the whole thing.    

"My parents are on their way home." He says quietly. "We'll probably go to dinner, just the four of us."    

"Alright. I'll get a shower and get ready." I nod and head into the bathroom.     

I think he's just as nervous about this as I am. According to Trace, Justin and his mother are about as close as a mother and son can get. Justin has told his mother everything over the course of his life. However, that came to a halt when he married me.    

I guess it sounds stupid, but I feel horrible that he's lying to his mother on my account. I'm fairly close to my parents, and I absolutely hate lying to them, I can't really imagine how he feels if he and his mother are as close as Trace says they are.    

I've known from day one that Justin and I would have to suffer the consequences of our stupidity, I guess I just never realized that we'd have to hurt the people we love.     

Sometimes, I can't help wondering, what would have happened if Justin and I had met under normal circumstances. Would we have been friends? Would there have been this magical, love at first sight feeling, or would we have simply said hello, and gone our separate ways?     

I'm a firm believer in fate, and I do believe Justin Timberlake was forced into my life for a reason, I'm just not sure what that reason is.     

Although, I'm pretty sure that me falling for him, wasn't part of the plan.     

I shower and dress quickly before following Justin out to his truck, and he slowly navigates us down the icy streets of Memphis. In a way, I'm kind of jealous of him. We're in his hometown for the holidays, surrounded by his friends and family. I'm basically spending Christmas with a bunch of strangers.     

Christmas has always been kind of a big deal for my family. We'd spend the entire day with family, exchanging presents with my aunts and uncles, eating some of the best food ever cooked, singing carols at my aunts grand piano, it was special, and now...I'm going to miss it.    

Not to mention the fact, that I kind of feel like I'll be imposing on Justin, his family and their traditions. I'm sure they have plenty of things they do as a family for Christmas, and I'm this outsider, stepping on that.     

We pull up to the restaurant and I take a deep breath before climbing out of the truck. I need to calm down. It doesn't matter if these people like me or not, I have no obligation to them.     

But then again, I kind of want them to like me. I want Justin to see that he's wrong about me, and maybe...maybe if his family likes me, he'll see that he's been a complete jackass through all of this.     

We approach the table slowly, and I can feel my shoulders tense as the older couple stands to greet us. They're both smiling from ear to ear, and I hope to God, that's a good sign.    

"Momma...this is Madison." Justin smiles nervously, and I hold my breath while his mother gives me the once over.    

I can't even begin to guess what she's thinking. For all I know, she's read every single one of the horrible things printed about me in the tabloids, and believes them. She probably thinks I'm some no good tramp, who will never be good enough for her only son. Or maybe, she can clearly see that Justin and I aren't a real couple. What if she calls us out, right here in front of all these people? 

Finally, she wraps her arms around me in a tight hug and I breathe a sigh of relief.     

Maybe, Christmas in Memphis won't be so bad after all.

***************************************    

"So...we walked all over town, with this fish in that damn garbage can..and...and.." Trace gasps in between giggles, and I can't help but laugh along with him.     

"By the time we got home, it was dead." Justin chuckles and shakes his head. "We haven't been fishing since."    

"Boys." Lynn mutters with a roll of her eyes.    

I have to admit, I'm completely blown away by how Justin's family has treated me. I fully expected to be treated like the outsider I am, but I couldn't have been more wrong.     

They've welcomed me with open arms, and I almost feel like I'm in Chicago with my own family. Lynn made it a point to give me detailed descriptions of all of the Timberlake/Harless holiday traditions, and the more I'm around them, the more comfortable I feel.     

In this little corner of my mind, I keep imagining that Justin and I are the happily married couple we portray ourselves as, and I really am getting to know my in-laws.     

I know, I'm delusional.     

There's a loud knock on the front door, and Lynn quickly hops out of her chair to answer it. Justin fidgets around nervously, and Trace is smiling like an idiot.     

I hear three very familiar voices and my head immediately jerks in Justin's direction.    

"I didn't want you to feel all weird around my family...consider this my apology for the whole Chelsea thing." He gives me a small smile and shrugs.     

I look out into the hallway and can feel the tears welling up in my eyes at the sight of my best friend and parents, shaking the snow off of their clothes.    

I watch silently as Lynn chats with my parents and the only thing I can think, is that I have been misjudging Justin, from day one. Until now, I've had this incredibly strong love/hate feeling toward him, that has all changed in a matter of seconds. 

How can I hate someone who has done the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me?    

"Thank you." I whisper and give him a quick kiss on the cheek before rushing over to greet my parents.    

I don't know what possessed him to do this, but I couldn't be more grateful. Of all the ways he could have apologized, this is by far the best.     

I'd been questioning my feelings for him to this point. Thinking that maybe, it was all my imagination, that I was just projecting these feelings on him because he was around, but now...now I know.     

My feelings for Justin are 100 percent real, and I'm afraid they may be getting more and more intense with each day that passes.

*****************************

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light
From now on,
our troubles will be out of sight
      

I can't help but smile at the crowd gathered around the piano, softly singing along with Justin's playing. I don't know why, but it's like he's doing everything he can to make this Christmas, as normal as possible for me.     

Every year, his mother hosts a party on Christmas Eve, for all of their family, and this year, they've all gone out of their way to include myself, my parents and even Chelsea.     

I really owe Justin huge for this.     

I take a sip of my wine and glance at Justin sitting next to me. I never would have thought it, but he's a fairly talented musician. Even here, just with his friends and family, he completely throws himself into his playing and it's absolutely beautiful.  

He looks over at me, a huge grin plastered on his face, and I can feel the knots forming in my stomach.     

I need to get over this school girl type crush I've developed for him. I know these feelings won't be returned, and it's pointless to put any thought into them.    

Once our two years are up, Johnny will have us divorced, and we'll go our separate ways. He'll go back to the hard partying, womanizing lifestyle he's always lived, and I'll return to touring non-stop. That's how this whole thing is supposed to play out, and I'm not going to let a stupid crush interfere with that.     

"Alright...let's eat." Lynn calls out once Justin finishes the song and everyone rushes to the kitchen, piling food on their plates.     

"So...think he got you something good?" Chelsea asks quietly.    

"Dunno." I shrug as she smiles knowingly.    

"I'll bet he did."    

This could create a problem. Justin and I didn't discuss exchanging gifts, or anything of the sort. Although, I was smart enough to realize that it would look pretty odd if I didn't get him something. This is supposed to be our first Christmas as a married couple, and if I didn't get him a present...it would probably raise a lot of questions.     

So, I gave Beth my credit card and sent her out shopping with Trace. I figured, who better than his best friend to pick out his present. They were gone for several hours, but came back with a suit from Ralph Lauren and a gorgeous watch.     

I know, not exactly thoughtful, but I didn't know what the hell else to do.     

Beth, being the amazing, wonderful assistant she is, also had the foresight to find a gift for Lynn, which honestly...hadn't even crossed my mind.     

It's nothing too flashy or even all that special, but every woman deserves a spa day, right? Trace swears she'll love it, so hopefully...Beth did good.     

I know it's awful to send my assistant out to do my Christmas shopping, but I just haven't had the time. Between promoting the album, shooting the video and the millions of other things I've had to do, I've barely had enough time to sleep, much less shop. I have complete faith in Beth though. I'm sure she did just fine.     

"Ya know..I had my doubts about him." Chelsea says suddenly as she pours us each another glass of wine. "But, when he called and apologized, then offered to fly me out here...he really changed my mind Maddie. Linds was right...you landed yourself a good one."        

I look across the kitchen to see Justin laughing with his grandfather and smile sadly. After the last 24 hours, I have no doubt that Justin is a good guy. He just isn't mine.    

"Yeah, no kidding."    

"So, where's that beautiful manager of yours? I thought he'd be here."    

"Nah, him and Beth both went home for the holidays."

"Beth can play in traffic for all I care." Chelsea mutters and rolls her eyes before moving across the kitchen to talk to Trace.    

I wish I could understand her hatred for my assistant. Really, it's completely uncalled for. Beth has been nothing but nice to Chelsea over the years, but that doesn't seem to matter.    

Chelsea tends to judge people at first glance, and it's virtually impossible to change her mind, which makes it kind of surprising that she's decided that she actually likes Justin. For some reason, she made her mind up almost five years ago, that she couldn't stand Beth, and I don't see that ever changing.     

I always kind of thought that maybe it was jealousy. Beth is at my side constantly and in a lot of ways, she's had to take Chelsea's place as my best friend. However, I don't think anyone could ever completely replace Chelsea. She's one in a million, and I'd be utterly lost without her.     

I move to make my way into the living room, but stop suddenly, nearly spilling my wine when Justin appears in the doorway.     

"Hey." He grins and I find myself smiling back at him.    

"Hey yourself."    

"Everything going alright?"

"Perfect actually." I nod slowly. "Thank you for flying them out here Justin, it means a lot."    

"Nah, it's nothing." He shrugs. "Like I said, consider it my apology."    

"You're forgiven. No harm, no foul."    

"Well...would you look at that, the newlyweds under the mistletoe!" Trace shouts excitedly, and it's becoming obvious to everyone that he's had a few too many. "C'mon J...you know what you gotta do."    

Justin rolls his eyes before turning to Trace. "You seriously need a life....and a girlfriend."    

In a split second, his lips are on mine and he coaxes my mouth open with his tongue. My arms instinctively slide around his neck, while his circle my waist and he pulls me against him.     

For some reason, all of the cat calls and whistles coming from our family and friends sound so far away, and the only thing I can focus on is his mouth on mine and the way our bodies seem to fit together perfectly.    

He pulls away quickly before sauntering into the kitchen and all I can do is stand here, trying to catch my breath. My lips are tingling, and I swear...I can still feel him there, smell his cologne on my shirt, and for some reason...I don't want it to go away.    

As soon as I can, I refill my wine glass and down it in one gulp. This isn't just some silly little crush.     

I don't know what's going to happen from one day to the next, but I'll do whatever it takes to keep him around. I don't want to ever lose the feeling of his body pressed against mine. It was perfect. Almost too perfect really.    

And that scares the hell out of me.

*********************************    

"Momma, it's 11:45!" Justin whines and stomps his foot like a two year old. Lynn simply rolls her eyes and turns to face me.    

"We go through this every year. He never could stand to wait until Christmas morning, we compromised and decided to wait until midnight, but even that's not good enough." She chuckles and shakes her head.    

I still can't get over just how well our family and friends are blending together. All day long, our mothers have been trading recipes and telling stories about Justin and I as kids. Chelsea and Trace seem to have really hit it off, and even my dad has let his guard down and is having a blast.         

This is what all married couples dream of. They'd practically kill for their families to get along this well, and I can't help feeling a little guilty. Justin and I don't deserve this.     

Everyone around us seems to think we have this perfect marriage, but in reality...it's one big lie.     

I never should have agreed to do this. I should have put my foot down, gotten the annulment and been done with it. If I had, I wouldn't be lying to all these amazing people, I wouldn't be making up stories that make my marriage seem believable, but most importantly... I wouldn't be falling in love with Justin.    

I don't want to have these feelings for him, but it's like no matter what I do or how hard I try, I can't stop it.    

Justin plops down behind me on the floor and stretches his legs out before pulling my back against his chest. I settle into him and I can't ignore how right it feels to sit like this with him.    

"See that blue star up there?" He points to the ornament, placed neatly on the tree, before wrapping his arms around my waist. "My momma got that for me when I first joined the group." He smiles fondly.    

I have no idea why he's telling me this, but it's kind of nice. I'm getting to see this whole other side of him and it's just further proof that I was all wrong about him. He isn't the egotistical, spoiled asshole I thought he was. He's just a momma's boy, from a small town, who made it big.    

When we were first thrown together, instead of fighting and being spiteful, we should have taken the time to get to know each other. We've been going about this the wrong way all along, and I'm determined to make it easier. I'm done being petty and arguing with him.     

"Momma...it's 12:01." Justin yells as he checks his watch for the millionth time in the last 16 minutes.    

"Alright, alright." Lynn laughs and shakes her head. "Trace, you do the honors."    

Trace crawls over to the tree and starts pulling the wrapped packages out, passing them to each person. Honestly, I don't think I've ever seen a tree with so many presents under it. Even though most of Justin's family is here, it still seems like a bit much.     

"And these are for Madison." Trace smirks as he pushes three packages in front of me. One is a plain white envelope with my name scrawled across the front of it, the second is a square, fairly large, neatly wrapped package, and the third is a much smaller box, with a small red ribbon tied around it.    

"The envelope's from me...couldn't tell ya what the other two are." Justin shrugs as he moves away from me and begins to tear into one of the many packages stacked in front of him.    

"This was all kind of last minute...we had your stuff shipped to L.A." My dad smiles and pats me on the shoulder.    

"Good thing. I had yours sent to Chicago." I chuckle and slowly pick up the large present first.    

"To: Madison, From: Lynn and Paul" is written on the tag, in quite possibly the most beautiful handwriting I've ever seen, and I look over at Justin's mother. She's practically beaming, and there's an encouraging smile on her face as she waits patiently for me to open it.    

I tear the paper off carefully, and feel the shock register on my face when I recognize the picture, set neatly in the black and silver frame, instantly.    

I can't even begin to imagine how she got a hold of this.    

The Rolling Stone article Justin and I did, has been pushed back several times now, and has yet to go to print. Johnny doesn't want the article out until he thinks things have calmed down, and Rolling Stone seems to agree.     

I don't know how she did it, but Lynn has managed to get a copy of the cover photo, have it blown up and put in this gorgeous frame.     

I can almost pinpoint the exact moment the picture was taken, and I can't help smiling at the memory. Justin and I were seated on the piano bench and I'd been fiddling around with my guitar, completely unsure of what I was supposed to do.    

I vaguely remember kissing Justin, before Trace made some smart ass crack and the entire room erupted in laughter. My attention was on everyone else in the room, but judging by this picture, Justin was staring at me, a warm smile on his face.    

Lynn eases down beside me and taps a finger on the glass before smiling brightly at me.    

"When Johnny showed me the proofs...this one stuck out." She glances at Justin, then leans in and speaks quietly, so only I can hear. "I've never seen him look at anyone the way he's looking at you in that picture. It's the way his father looked at me when we first started dating."    

I nod slowly and force the best smile I can. "Thank you. This is really beautiful."    

"You're welcome sweetheart." She hugs me to her side before rising to her feet again and making her way across the room.     

I know exactly what she's implying, but deep down...I know she's wrong. There's absolutely no way Justin could be looking at me like he..like he has feelings for me, is there?    

No. It's not possible. It's just...not.    

I grab the smaller box and untie the ribbon, before pulling the lid off. Inside, is a small card, with "From: The Family", written in the same handwriting as the tag on the picture. I can only assume "The Family" is the entire Timberlake/Harless clan.    

Laying in the box is a silver chain, with a cursive letter J pendant on it. I look over at Justin and he gives me a cheesy grin as he holds up an identical necklace, except with a letter M.     

"I know...they're corny. But I thought they were neat." Justin's cousin, Rachel, grins at both of us and shrugs.     

Justin crawls across the carpet to sit behind me once again and he quickly grabs the necklace from my hands. He slides it around my neck and a shiver runs down my spine as his fingers graze my skin while he hooks the clasp.     

"I love the suit by the way." He says quietly. "Thanks."    

"And what about the watch?" I ask with a laugh. He holds his arm in front of my face and shows that he's already replaced his old watch with the one I bought him.  

"You open my present yet?"

"I'm getting there." I chuckle and reach for the envelope.     

I open it quickly and the contents fall onto the floor. Justin grabs them before I have the chance, and he hands me a sheet of paper.     

"You gotta read that first."    

"Just in case flying Chelsea and your parents out wasn't enough of an apology, this oughta do the trick. -J."    

He hands me another small envelope and rests his chin on my shoulder while I tear it open. I pull out two rectangular pieces of thick paper, and my hand flies to my mouth as I read the words printed on them.    

If I was still having doubts about him, this would have completely changed my mind. This is almost too good to be true.    

"I figured we could go together." He says quietly. "I had Jc clear your schedule and everything."    

On January 19th, Justin and I will be going to see Fleetwood Mac, from front row no less, in my hometown.     

This is so far above and beyond anything he could have ever done for me. Suddenly, I feel awful about the presents I got him. They aren't anywhere near as thoughtful as this is.    

"Justin this is...this...wow." I stutter. I can barely form one coherent damn thought. This is unbelievable.     

"You're welcome." He laughs.    

I turn around to face him and plant my lips firmly on his, enjoying the feeling of him smiling against my mouth.    

Maybe, whatever Lynn saw in that picture, isn't all that far off. Maybe there is something beginning between Justin and I, and neither of us has even completely realized it yet.    

I never thought I'd say this, but Justin has just given me quite possibly, the best Christmas ever.

New Years Eve is vastly overrated.     

Or, maybe it's the fact that I've never really enjoyed a "normal" New Years Eve. Every year, it's the same damn thing. I get dragged to Times Square and shoved in front of a camera. It used to be me and the guys, then it was me and whoever I was dating at the time and now...it's me and Madison.     

I would have been perfectly content to stay in Memphis, but Johnny pretty much demanded that we make an appearance on the MTV New Years Eve special. I think he just wants to drum up all the publicity he can since the Rolling Stone article is out next week.    

It'll be kind of interesting to see once it's finally out. Johnny's read it, but he has yet to send me a copy, so I haven't got a clue how it turned out. I think it'll be alright though. He wouldn't approve anything that would make me look bad.    

Unfortunately, things have been a little shaky for Madison since Christmas. Her album has already been summed up as a monumental flop, and I can't help feeling a little responsible. All the shit we've had to do to protect my image, the interviews, the photo shoots, even the crazy tabloid stories, have completely overshadowed her and her work.    

RCA is actually debating over whether or not to send her on tour, and I've got a bad feeling I know exactly how it's going to turn out. If they have to question anything, 90 percent of the time...the answer is no.    

So, one of two things will happen. Either they send her back into the studio to cut another album with better material, or they drop her completely. Needless to say, Madison's been a bit of a head case since Jc told her that everything is kind of up in the air right now.     

I wish I could say I know how she feels, but I haven't got a clue. I've never had an album that didn't sell, never had the fear that my record label was about to cut me loose. I've been damn lucky when it comes to my career.     

"You guys ok? You're not too cold or anything?" Jc asks as he hands each of us a cup of hot chocolate.    

"Yeah, I'm fine." Madison replies and wraps her long black peacoat tighter around her body.        

I will say one thing, I may not be enjoying this little shindig, but it forced Madison into dressing up for a change and she looks damn good. Her hair is pulled back from her face and her make-up is kind of smokey, causing her blue eyes to really pop. She has on this ridiculously tight and short gray skirt and a fairly low cut, light pink blouse and cardigan.    

She looks kind of...elegant, I guess would be the right word.    

"How much longer do we have to stand out in this shit? It's fuckin freezing man." Trace rolls his eyes angrily.     

"It's just after ten." Beth smiles and receives an eye roll from Chelsea.     

I don't know why, but I find Chelsea's hatred for Beth slightly comical. She's constantly making faces behind Beth's back, rolling her eyes, making snide remarks and Beth, does absolutely nothing. Madison says it's because she's just too nice, but I'm inclined to believe that she's a little afraid of Chelsea.    

Hell, I'm afraid of Chelsea.     

The girl doesn't give a shit about anything. She'll tell you exactly what she's thinking, whether you like it or not and she won't hesitate to kick your ass for whatever reason. She definitely isn't the type of girl you want to piss off.    

I have no doubt that if they ever really got into it, Chelsea would probably kill Beth with her bare hands. It'd be pretty funny to watch though.    

"We can go inside, as long as we're back in this booth before 11:30." Jc says sternly, raising his voice so we can hear him over the crowd.    

"Yes dad." Trace rolls his eyes before he and Chelsea erupt in giggles.     

I'll be glad to get out of this damn booth but what I'd really love, is to go home.     

This whole set up is stupid. There are several of these platforms spread throughout Times Square, reserved specifically for the celebrity guests to watch the ball drop while MTV films their reactions. They're high up enough to get a good view of the ball as well as overlook the massive crowd down below.     

I almost feel like we're on display or something. All those people on the ground are staring up at us, taking pictures when they think we aren't looking. I bet this is how caged animals in the zoo feel.    

"Cheer up J." Madison smiles brightly as she loops her arm through mine and we follow our friends down the steps.    

"Me cheer up? You're the one who's been moping for a fuckin week."    

"Yeah well..." She shrugs, the smile never leaving her face. "I've actually been thinking going back in the studio might not be such a bad thing. I've been writing a lot lately."

"Oh yeah?"    

"Yep. I'm pretty happy with what I've got so far."    

"If you wanna use the studio at the house, let me know. I can help ya out."    

"I will. Thanks." She smiles gratefully.    

I actually caved and listened to both of her albums several days ago. The first one is surprisingly pretty damn good. It's got this lighthearted pop/rock feel to it. The lyrics are fairly simple, but I could tell it was all by design. She obviously wanted her first album to have a really fun vibe to it and she more than succeeded.     

The second album however, as much as I hate to say it, just isn't very good.    

The material is much darker and there's more of an edge to the music and the lyrics. I think maybe, she strayed a little too far from the sound she originally established and it just didn't connect with people the way her first album did.    

I wouldn't dream of telling her that though. From what I've heard, she put a lot into that second album and I'm not about to criticize anybody for their hard work.     

"J...bar." Trace grins and elbows me in the side. I nod and follow him through the crowd. Alcohol is about the only thing that's going to improve this night.     

I know I should just be enjoying the fact that I'm here with my friends and we've all made it through another year, but this just fucking sucks.     

"I talked to Johnny this morning. Word on the street is that RCA is sending Madison back in the studio. They're dropping promotion for the album and they don't even want to release a second single. If she doesn't come up with a decent demo in a month, they might actually drop her."    

"Does she know?"

"Not yet. She's got a meeting with RCA in the morning. I just figured you could use the heads up. She's gonna freak man."    

"Nah, she'll be alright." I nod and take a sip of my beer. "She wants to go back in the studio. I told her I'd help her out."    

"Good thing." He chuckles and shakes his head. "Johnny's submitting your resume so they can tap you to produce."    

"Seriously?"

"Yeah man. Don't get all pissed and shit, I wasn't supposed to tell you." He shrugs before spotting someone he knows and disappearing.    

I'm not pissed, really...I'm not. However, I'm not exactly thrilled at the idea of my manager volunteering me for shit without asking me. I have no problem with helping Madison out, I'm just not sure I'm capable of producing anything for her.     

I've got a pretty good feel for production, but only in a certain style of music. Madison's stuff is way out of my comfort zone and I don't want to be responsible for driving her career into the ground.     

We've just started making some headway here. I'd even go so far as to call us friends at this point, and I don't want to mess that up. I have to live with this girl for the next two years and I don't want the bickering to start up again.     

Before I get mad, I'll wait and see what Johnny has to say. I don't doubt anything Trace has said, but there's always two sides to every story.    

Unfortunately, I've got a funny feeling this is going to be like everything else Johnny has thrown at me the last few months.    

I don't have a choice.

*****************************************    

"How much longer?" Trace asks for the millionth time in the last hour.     

The more he drinks, the more impatient he becomes. Not that I really blame him, it's cold as shit out here and the wind is blowing about a hundred miles an hour.    

We've got another 20 minutes until the ball drops and then we'll have to fight our way through the crowd to the car, and of course there'll be an insane amount of traffic. There's really no telling when we'll get back to the hotel.    

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to starting the new year, but the hoopla around it kind of kills the little bit of excitement I am feeling. I just keep thinking about how much more enjoyable this holiday would be if we were in Memphis. Hell..I'd even be happy in Chicago in that crummy karaoke bar.     

Basically, I'd be happy anywhere other than here, in the freezing ass cold in New York City.    

It's weird. I usually love this city, but I guess being dragged away from my family and the spectacle of this whole thing has made me just slightly bitter.    

"Will you cheer up already? It's almost 2008!" Madison grins and slides her arms around my waist. Under normal circumstances, I'd figure she's doing this because people can see us, but right now, I think she's just trying to get warm.     

I throw my arm around her shoulders, pulling her against me and that's when the scent of her perfume hits me. I don't know what it is, but it has this light, spiced cherry smell to it.     

I know it sounds kind of weird, but I've always thought that only certain people can wear certain scents. Something that smells amazing on one person, might smell horrible on someone else.     

Madison has obviously found the perfect perfume because the smell is almost intoxicating. I don't know why I never noticed it before.    

"Ten minutes!" Chelsea squeals excitedly. I swear, that girl has some type of hyperactive disorder. She never shuts up and she can't sit still for five damn minutes.    

"So, any New Years resolutions?"     

"Nah." I shake my head and laugh. "I never really got into that. How about you?"

"Not really." Madison shrugs quickly. "I used to make them but I never could keep em..so it's like, what's the point?"    

"Makes sense."    

I'm trying really hard to keep my mouth shut. Trace told me not to say anything, but it's getting more and more difficult by the minute. The only thing that's stopping me from telling Madison what RCA plans to do, is the fact that this is the first time she's seemed happy since Christmas. She's smiling and laughing, and doesn't look like she could cry at the drop of a hat.    

She deserves to know, but I don't want to be the one to upset her. I'm sure it'll take some time, but I think she might be able to see the positive in the whole thing. She can go back in the studio and hopefully turn out something amazing.    

I'm just slightly worried about my role in the whole thing. Johnny wouldn't recommend me if he didn't think I could do it, but I don't know how Madison is going to feel about it. I mean, it's one thing that we have to make all these appearances and shit together, but does our "marriage" really need to cross over into our work?  Me being in her video was bad enough, but this is on a whole other level.    

"5....4.....3....2.....1!"    

"Happy New Year Justin." Madison smiles and before I know it, her mouth is on mine.    

When her tongue finally meets mine, I can't help noticing how different this feels. There's this need behind it, and for some reason, I can't stop myself. My hands are tangled in her hair and when she presses her body into mine, I can feel that familiar strain building in the pit of my stomach.    

I wish I could blame it on the alcohol, but I had half of a beer. That definitely wouldn't give me enough of a buzz to be enjoying this as much as I am.    

She quickly pulls away, staring at me wide eyed and gnawing on her bottom lip. Without a word, she turns to celebrate with our friends and all I can do is watch her.     

I don't know what the hell has gotten into me, but I would love to do that again.     

In a split second, our security team ushers us down the steps and through the crowd to our waiting car. Madison is silent the entire two hours it takes for us to get back to the hotel. She even avoids looking at me during the short elevator ride to our floor.    

Before she can enter her room, I pull her away from the crowd and she still has that dazed, confused look on her face.     

"Meet me in my room in 20 minutes." She nods dumbly in response before scurrying into her room and slamming the door behind her.    

I don't know what the hell happened when she kissed me, but I felt...something, and the way she's acting leads me to believe she felt it too.        

We have to straighten this out.    

I mean, since I've gotten to know her, I've realized she's a great girl, but I'm not gonna get all caught up in emotions and shit. I'll put in my two years and be done with it. If we stay friends...awesome. If not...life will go on.    

I just...I can't fall for this girl. It can't fucking happen.    

Exactly 20 minutes later, Madison walks into my room and I can't help but laugh at her. She's somehow managed to make even ratty, old sweatpants and an oversized T-shirt look good.    

"What's up?" She asks as she plops down on the couch and looks up at me curiously.    

All traces of her confusion are gone. She's cool as a fucking cucumber and I've spent the last 20 minutes freaking out and worrying that she'd walk in here and profess her undying love for me or some shit.    

Maybe I jumped the gun. Maybe I was seeing something that wasn't there, because deep down...I wanted to see it. Maybe I just read too much into it.    

"I just figured we could hang out for awhile." The lie comes out so easily it's almost scary.    

"Alright." She chuckles and rolls her eyes. "You could have just said that. You didn't have to be all James Bond and dramatic about it."    

"Oh you got jokes huh?" I shake my head and take a seat next to her, making sure to keep my distance.    

I really thought I saw something in her eyes, felt it in the way she kissed me. It was just..so different than the other times I've had to kiss her. It was less forced and more...romantic, I guess. I can't really pinpoint why, but it was.    

I guess I was wrong, and for some reason, that's a little disappointing.

******************************    

"Check this out." Trace mutters as he tosses yet another rag mag down in front of me.    

One day into the fucking year, and it's already starting. Don't these people ever sleep?    

Photos of Madison and I from last night are splashed across the cover, the headline reading "New Year, New Drama For Timberlake and Fox?"    

Yeah, that's creative. Not.    

The article delves into everything Trace told me last night. The possibility of Madison being dropped from RCA, me stepping in to produce her next album, the canceled tour, everything.     

Now this one, I can't quite figure out. Madison left early this morning for her meeting with RCA, how the hell do these people get this information so damn fast? It just doesn't make sense.    

I was under the impression that the only people who knew about this were Johnny, Jc and Trace. Madison didn't even know until this morning when she went to the label.     

The front door opens and shuts suddenly, followed by quick footsteps up the stairs. Looks like Madison's home and by the sound of it, not too pleased with the turn out of her meeting.    

RCA couldn't have dropped her, could they?    

No. There's no way. They've been rolling in money because of this girl, they wouldn't drop her because of one flop. Atleast, I don't think they would.    

If they did, it doesn't matter. Somebody will snatch her up in a heartbeat. She's talented as all hell and there's enough publicity around her to make anybody some pretty huge bank.     

Hell, I'll start a label and sign her myself if I have to.    

I make my way up the stairs and stop in front of Madison's door. I don't even know what the hell to say to her. She may have just lost her record deal and there isn't a single thing I can say or do that will change that.     

All I can really do is try to convince her that it'll be alright.     

I turn the knob, but the door doesn't budge. Great, she's locked herself in her room. How the hell am I supposed to work with that?    

I sit down on the floor, and I wait.     

Almost half an hour passes before the door opens and I jump to my feet. I prepared some heartfelt little speech about how the guys at RCA don't know their asses from a hole in the ground, how she's got all the talent in the world, that I'll do whatever I have to, to help her get back on her feet.     

But, it all vanishes from my mind when my eyes focus on the figure in the doorway, clutching several folders, a camera, and the latest edition of Us Weekly.     

"Beth?"    

What the fuck?    

"Oh..umm...Justin...hi. I..I didn't think anyone was here." She stutters and forces an awkward smile.     "

What is all this shit?" I point to the items in her hands and she looks down at them before quickly looking back up at me.    

"Oh, it's..it's nothing. Really." She tries to sidestep me but I'm quicker than she is. I block the stairs with my body and there's no way she can get to them without pushing me out of the way.    

I grab one of the folders out of her hands and take a deep breath before I open it. I'm not fully prepared for what I know I'm about to see, but I've got to know for sure.     

Inside the folder are dozens of pictures. Madison and I out shopping, candid shots of us at various interviews, but the most damning...pictures of us from last night.     

When I spot a sheet of paper, filled with Beth's large, loopy handwriting, the photos fall to the floor and I can't stop myself from reading the words scrawled across the paper.    

Dates, times, places and headlines fill the sheet. Nearly every story that's been printed about Madison and I within the last two months is here, in black and white.     

In Beth Preston's fucking handwriting.    

I look up at her and I can practically feel the heat rising in my cheeks. Words can't even begin to describe the anger coursing through me as I glare at her.    

It's been her all along, and I fucking knew it. I knew it from the beginning and I tried so hard to convince myself it wasn't.    

She did a good job of covering her tracks, I'll give her that much. Stopping whatever the hell she's been doing after we left Chicago was fucking brilliant. It's almost like...like she wanted someone to think it was Chelsea.     

Madison's supposedly sweet, innocent assistant is just a manipulative, lying, two faced bitch, and I knew it.     

"Justin...you don't understand. I can explain." She pleads.     

I shake my head and pick up the scattered photos. She isn't getting away with this. There's absolutely no way in hell that I'm keeping my mouth shut about this. She's the reason there's been all this extra pressure and stress on everyone. She's done nothing but make a bad situation, worse.    

I don't know why she did it, and frankly...I don't give a shit. I don't want to hear her excuses or apologies. I just want her out of mine and Madison's lives.    

I make my way down the stairs as quickly as humanly possible and once I'm in my car, I peel out of the driveway. My hands are shaking as I tear down the streets of L.A, headed straight for Johnny Wright's office. If anybody can fix this mess, it'll be him.    

How the fuck could anybody do this to Madison? She's done everything imaginable for Beth.    

Madison welcomed Beth into her life with open arms. Gave her a job most people would kill for with a salary that's practically unheard of. She gave her a place to live, brought her into a world that Beth probably never would have survived in. Madison trusted this girl, and in return, she gets stabbed in the fucking back.     

I can't honestly even imagine what was going through Beth's mind when she did all of this. She claimed to care about Madison, went so far as to call herself Madison's best friend.     

Who does this kind of shit to their best friend?    

I pull into the parking lot and head inside, running at almost full speed through the lobby, straight to Johnny's office.    

I slam the folder down on his desk and collapse into a chair while trying to catch my breath. He looks up at me curiously and reaches for the folder.    

"I...I just...Beth." I gasp.    

He flips the folder open and the anger flashes in his eyes as he scans the contents. His frown is growing deeper by the second and I know, all hell is about to break loose.    

He presses a button on the intercom placed on his desk and his voice booms throughout the room.    

"Marcie, get George Henson at RCA on the phone, immediately."    

Today could quite possibly be one of the worst days of my life.    

I won't say it's the absolute worst because God knows, I've had some pretty shitty days and I'm sure there's a few more in my future, but this is definitely in the top five.    

The meeting with RCA wasn't all that shocking, but that didn't make it any easier to deal with. Jc warned me on the way there that the outcome may not make me happy, so I went in prepared for the worst. I was convinced that I'd be leaving without a record deal.     

I tried really hard to convince myself that I actually wanted to go back in the studio, but when the big wigs said that's what they wanted, my heart sank a little.    

I put a lot into the second album and I absolutely loved every song on it. Apparently, I was the only one.    

Words can't even begin to describe how proud I was of that album. It's a little devastating to be told to go back into the studio and come up with something better. Honestly, I thought I'd given them my best work yet, but I guess I was wrong.     

I have one month to turn in an amazing demo, or I can kiss my future at RCA goodbye.    

I'm fairly confident in some of the stuff I've been writing lately, but there's still that nagging voice in the back of my mind, telling me, I'm wasting my time.    

Now, I know that doesn't seem so bad and on its own...it isn't. However, I could have choked someone when I was told that Justin will be producing my next album.    

That's the last damn thing I want!    

I spend more than enough time around him. I don't need him butting into my work as well. Plus, all those hours and late nights alone with him....I'm not sure I've got the willpower for that.    

I've finally come to terms with the fact that I like him, but I refuse to act on those feelings.     

I mean, it's Justin for crying out loud!    

I know, I know, I know...still doesn't reach worst day ever status yet, right?    

Well...to top off my oh so lovely morning, my presence has been requested at the offices of Johnny Wright. Which means...Justin has probably done something really stupid and the press got word of it, and now I'm about to get yelled at.     

I don't know what Justin's done now, but apparently it involves everyone. Johnny has demanded that I get to his office as soon as humanly possible and that I have Jc, and Beth with me.    

Honestly, I'm not all that surprised. I had a funny feeling something would blow up in our faces before that damn Rolling Stone article came out. All we had to do was make it through one week. One week of no drama, no crazy stories and no bickering...but of course not.    

With my luck, Justin's probably made a sex tape with some skank and we'll look like complete fools once that article hits stores. And of course, I'll look like the biggest idiot of all.     

Poor little Madison Fox...her world is crumbling around her...no record deal...adulterous husband.    

Won't the tabloids eat that shit up?    

"Madison...we're here." Jc says quietly as we pull up in front of a large gray building with no windows.        

This place has become like my second home over the last few months. It seems like Johnny is dragging us here for some ridiculous meeting almost every other day.     

We head inside quickly, making our way to conference room B on the 11th floor.     

I hope like hell Beth got Jc's message and is here, or atleast on her way. Johnny will have her head if she skips out on this.     

I don't know what the hell is going on, but obviously...it's a pretty big deal.    

"Morning Madison, Jc." Johnny nods as we step into the large room and take our seats at the rectangular glass table in the center of the room.     

Justin is seated between Trace and an older man I've never seen before, who I'm assuming is his publicist.     

Everyone seems to be chatting easily and the only sign that something is wrong, is Justin. His arms are folded across his chest and his mouth is set into a thin, tight line. His eyes are fixated on a spot on the wall and he shows no signs of moving. He didn't even look up when Jc and I walked in.    

Basically, he's full on pouting.    

I really can't recall ever seeing him this angry though, and I've seen him get pretty fucking mad. Especially at me.    

"Has anyone gotten in touch with Ms. Preston yet?" Johnny asks while studying each face in the room.        

"I've tried a few times. Her cell goes straight to voicemail." Jc shrugs helplessly.     

I still can't quite get that. It's just so unlike Beth. I mean, normally...her phone barely has time to ring once before she answers it. She never turns that damn thing off.    

"Well, maybe it's better this way." Johnny sighs and shakes his head. "Madison, I spoke with your lawyers and Mr. Henson this morning and they suggested I put this meeting together." I nod slowly and let his words sink in.    

Lawyers? Not good.    

George Henson? Definitely not good.    

I don't know too many people at RCA. I usually stick with the people who work for me, but it's impossible to be involved with RCA and not know George Henson.    

He's been head of public relations at RCA, damn near since the beginning of time and the guy knows his shit. He's dealt with some of the biggest scandals in the industry and nine times out of ten, the artist comes out pretty much unscathed, no matter how much evidence is stacked up against them.    

However, he does not work for Johnny Wright, Clive Davis, Barry Weis or Jive records, so having him call this meeting doesn't make much sense. If Justin has screwed up yet again, shouldn't his people be involved in this?    

Or maybe...maybe this isn't about Justin. Maybe I've unknowingly done some incredibly stupid thing that could possibly blow our cover.     

But what?    

My love life in non-existent,(which of course, does not include Justin.) I haven't gone out with just my friends in ages, during interviews I shoot the customary cheesy smile anytime Justin is mentioned. I watch what I say and who I say it to.    

I think I do a pretty damn good job playing the part of Mrs. Timberlake.    

This can't be about me or anything I've done.     

"Madison...it's to my understanding that you met with some of your advisors this morning, correct?" I nod quickly and wait for Johnny to continue. "Good. I'm sure they explained to you that Justin will be producing your next album, am I right?"    

"Is that what this is about?"    

"Unfortunately...no." He frowns and shakes his head. "But, there are a few things I'd like to address before we get to the matter at hand. First off, I'd like to congratulate you and Justin on a job well done thus far. I really couldn't be happier with the efforts both of you have made. I know this isn't a pleasant situation for anyone."    

"Can we get to the fucking point before that bitch shows up?" Justin growls out, finally acknowledging everyone else in the room.    

Whatever is going on, he knows about it already. Part of me wants to be mad at him for not warning me, but how could he have? I've been tied up in meetings all morning, then had to come straight here.     

See? I can think before I react toward him. Although...he could have atleast left a lousy voicemail or something. But, I won't nitpick.     

"Madison, you're well aware of the problems we've been having with the tabloids. For some time now, I've been under the suspicion that it was someone close to the two of you, who doesn't necessarily know what's really going on here. Apparently, I was wrong. This morning, Justin found Ms. Preston in your bedroom and this is what she had with her."    

He slides a folder across the table and I rip it open. Inside are dozens of pictures, Justin and I at various appearances, pictures from New Years Eve, and every single one of them looks like a perfect paparazzi shot.     

There are several sheets of notebook paper in the folder as well, full of dates and times, places Justin and I went together, things we said, people we were with.     

There's no way. There's just no fucking way. This can't be possible.     

Beth's my assistant. Jc hand picked her from hundreds of applicants. She's been with me for over four years. They're wrong. They have to be. Beth's...she's my friend...one of my best friends. She wouldn't do this.    

"Are...are you sure? I mean..maybe...maybe she was just keeping track of everything...so we'd know..." I trail off as the tears well up in my eyes.     

"She was in your room with the fucking door locked." Justin mutters and shakes his head in disgust. "I knew it."    

"But...but, she knows what really happened! Why would she leak stories about our marriage, when we aren't actually together? Wouldn't the bigger story be the fact that we're a couple of fucking liars?"    

"Unfortunately, that's the big question." Johnny nods and lets out a long sigh. "She was supposed to be here and apparently she's disappeared, Madison."    

"I knew something wasn't right with that chick." Trace shakes his head and laughs bitterly.    

Suddenly, I feel like a complete and total moron. Chelsea tried to tell me thousands of times over the years that something was a little off with Beth. I always boiled it down to the fact that she was just shy. I defended her against so many people who I thought, just didn't understand her and from the looks of it, they were right all along.    

I should have listened.     

I want to be angry. I want to scream. I want to put my fist through this damn table. But, I've just got this feeling that they're...they're wrong. They have to be.    

Suddenly, the door to the conference room opens and Beth steps inside, her eyes never leaving the floor.     

"So-sorry I'm late." She stutters before scurrying into a chair beside Jc.    

"Well Ms. Preston...I'm sure you know why everyone's here. Anything you'd like to say?"    

"No...not really." She replies quietly and shakes her head.    

"Alright then. Jc...this is in your hands now." Johnny sighs angrily. "I'm sure you can assume what I would do in a situation like this."    

"Beth..we...we have to let you go. Madison's lawyers will most likely file a breach of contract suit..." Jc mumbles sadly.    

I can't sit back and let this happen. If she really was the one leaking all of these ridiculous stories, I have to know why. I can't just fire her and be done with it.    

I trusted this girl more than I trusted my best friend. I gave her a place to live, gave her a job most people would kill for. She spent two Christmases with my family. She knew every damn thing about me. If she really betrayed me...I have to know why. I have to hear her admit it.    

"Beth." I say suddenly, surprised at the force behind my own voice.    

She keeps her stare focused on the ground and the more she ignores me, the more my blood begins to boil.    

"Beth." I repeat, a little louder and still nothing.    

She's got some balls, I'll give her that. It takes a lot of nerve to do this shit and try to act all innocent.    

"God damnit Beth! Will you atleast fucking look at me?" I scream and slam my hands down on the table, causing it to rattle.    

Everyone in the room jumps and finally she looks up, her sad eyes locking with mine.    

"Why?" I ask quietly.    

It's taking all I have to fight back the tears in my eyes but I'm determined to get through this without breaking down.    

"I...I'm so sorry Madison. I never wanted to hurt you, but it...it was my job. My hands were tied."    

"Your job?" Justin shrieks and leans forward in his chair. It's a good thing there's a very large table separating the two of them. I'm pretty sure Justin would murder her if he could.    

Beth nods slowly as the tears spill down her cheeks. She takes a deep breath and looks back at me. "My name is actually Beth Cook. I'm a reporter for Us Weekly."    

Oh my God...    

It's true. It's all true. Justin and Chelsea were right from day one.     

Oh my God!        

"Madison...I swear, it wasn't supposed to go this far! When you were first starting out, you hit virtually overnight, and somehow, the magazine heard that you were looking to hire an assistant. I was just supposed to interview with you. I was just supposed to get a feel for you as an artist. You came out of nowhere and every outlet was dying to see what you were like. When Jc offered me the job, the magazine wouldn't let me turn it down. They wanted me to go undercover for a month, dig up whatever I could, then quit. It just...it snowballed into this big thing and I was in too deep to just up and leave."    

Four years.    

For four years, this girl was at my side 24 hours a day. I thought I knew her inside and out. I thought of her as a sister. Instead...I've spent the last four years welcoming a complete stranger into every aspect of my life.    

"And then...when you wanted to go to Vegas...that just ruined everything. The magazine heard Justin would be there and I was supposed to arrange a meeting between the two of you, just to see what would happen."    

Suddenly...images of that night are flooding my mind. Being at the club, seeing Justin, leaving with him, stopping at that damn chapel, and then Beth...    

Oh God.    

Justin and I didn't get married because of some drunken attraction. We got married because...because Beth told us to.    

"You two should get hitched.....It's what Vegas is all about!..... Nobody's gonna know."    

Justin and I were drunk enough to fall for it. We thought we could leave town and put the whole thing behind us. We were...we were so fucking stupid. We let Beth completely manipulate us for a story.    

"I didn't want to do it. I tried to get out of it so many times, but I would have lost my job!" She sobs and I don't feel the least bit of sympathy for her.    

Why the hell should I?    

She could have destroyed not only two careers, but two lives as well....all for a few lousy fucking stories. What if I'd gotten pregnant that night? What if Justin had some damn disease or something?     

All the "What ifs" are starting to turn my stomach.    

I look over at her and feel nothing but disgust. How could someone be so damn selfish? She may say she tried to get out of it or stop it, but I see no evidence of that anywhere. She didn't care about me. She just wanted to further her career.    

"You're done." I growl at her. "My lawyers can deal with you, and you better believe that the entire world is going to know exactly what you are, and won't your precious fucking magazine love that? You won't even be able to get a job at McDonalds when I'm done with you. And so help me God...if you ever come anywhere near me, my friends or my family again...you will live to regret it."    

I gather my things and leave the conference room as quickly as humanly possible. I just...I can't stand to even look at her any longer.    

I make it to the elevator before I hear my name being called and I recognize the voice immediately.     

I expected Jc...hell, even Trace to come after me, but certainly not Justin. I fully expected him to blame all of this on me. After all...I was the one who trusted her, with no hesitation.     

He jogs to catch up to me and forces an awkward smile when he stops in front of me. "You alright?"    

"I...I.." My voice cracks and before I can stop it, the tears are starting to pour.     

In a split second, Justin pulls me against him and I bury my head in his chest as his arms slide around me protectively.     

"You were amazing in there. If it was me...I prolly would've killed her ass."    

I cry harder as he tries to comfort me and I'm sure I look like a mental case, clinging to him for dear life and soaking his T-shirt. God only knows what he must think of me now.    

We stand like that for what feels like an eternity and I can't ignore the way the feel of him all around me, seems to put me at ease. He doesn't say anything and really...I don't need him to. I just need him to hold me and let me cry.    

"Look on the bright side." He says suddenly. "Atleast now we know it wasn't completely our fault we got into this mess." I can't help but laugh at him.    

He looks so adorable, completely unsure of what to do or say, but he's doing everything he can think of to make me feel better. God...I'm...I'm really crazy about him.    

"Come on...we'll go home, order pizza and get drunk." He grins and throws an arm around my shoulders, guiding me onto the elevator.   

As much as I hate Beth for what she's done, there's one thing I can't bring myself to hate her for.     

She brought Justin into my life.    

More and more everyday, he's growing on me. If he left tomorrow, I honestly don't know what the hell I'd do with myself. I've gotten so used to having him around and I actually like it. Despite his attitude and our rocky start...I don't want him to go away.     

At this point, I can't really imagine my life without him in it, in some way.    

I guess it's true what they say about clouds, they all have their silver lining, and I think Justin might be mine.    

But, he doesn't need to know that.

**********************************    

"What ya doin?" Justin grins stupidly as he plops down beside me. I snap my notebook shut quickly and smile.    

"Nothing, drunk ass."    

"Aww...Maddie...that's not nice." He pouts and reaches for the notebook.    

Luckily, all the alcohol in his system has slowed his reaction time considerably and he misses by about a foot when I pull the notebook out of his reach. Drunk people are so fun to mess with.    

As promised, we came back to the house, ordered pizza and started drinking. Justin and Trace have been chugging coronas for the last four hours. Needless to say, they're both about three sheets to the wind.    

Unfortunately, after my day from hell, drinking was the last thing I felt like doing. I humored the two of them and had a couple beers, but I just can't seem to bring myself to have fun.    

Maybe I'm still in shock or denial or something. I mean, Beth admitted to it but I still just can't believe it. I really thought Justin and Chelsea were wrong about her.     

So, after about an hour, I was still moping, however...creativity suddenly struck.    

There were all these thoughts floating around in my head and I just had to get them out. I wrote an entire song in less than an hour, something I've never accomplished until now. It's funny how misery can be so inspiring.     

Once I finished the first song, I started flipping through the pages and came to another song that I've been working on since before Justin and I went to Chicago. For the longest time, I was stuck and I'd contemplated ripping the page out, and completely discarding it. For some reason, I couldn't ever do that.    

Now, I'm so, so, so glad I kept it.    

After seeing the way Justin handled the whole Beth thing and the way he tried so hard to take care of me, the words just seemed to flow and before I knew it, I'd finished another song.    

Yes...I wrote a song about him. I know, I'm hopelessly lovesick and it's disgusting.     

However, I seriously doubt that this song will ever see the light of day. It's more for me than anyone else anyway. I guess it was the only way I could get my thoughts and feelings out. So, folded in my notebook it shall stay.    

I mean, how the hell could I possibly record it when Justin's going to be producing my album? That would bring a whole new meaning to the word awkward.    

"Madison." He whines pitifully and I can't help but roll my eyes.    

I've seen Justin drunk on several occasions, but I've never seen him act like this. Normally, he's more cocky than usual and he can be silly, but kind of sexy at the same time. Now however, he's whining and carrying on like a two year old. It's pretty unattractive.     

I have to admit, my feelings for him confuse the hell out of me. One minute, I'm ready to jump him if he looks at me a certain way and the next, he aggravates me to the point of wanting to rip his damn head off. It's just so...so...so frustrating.    

Out of nowhere, his mouth is on my neck and his hand is slowly inching its way up my thigh.     

Oh this is bad. Really, really bad.    

I know he's drunk and probably hasn't got a clue what he's doing, but I'm not sure I have the strength to fight him off.    

Shit. This day just keeps getting better and better. Not.    

"Justin..st..stop." I stutter, removing his hand from my leg and pushing him away. He frowns and shakes his head before leaning into me again.    

"You don't want me to stop...and we both know it." He smirks seductively.     

He definitely should not look at me like that. I swear...if he doesn't stop, I will not be responsible for my actions, which could very well include ripping his damn clothes off right here and now.    

Honestly, he's right. I don't want him to stop, but I need him to stop. I can't let this go any farther. If I do, there won't be any turning back and that can't happen. We can not get involved.     

He quickly grabs me by the hips and positions me in his lap so that I'm straddling him.    

Shit. This is so not good.    

I can feel him pressing into me and I bite my lip. Where the fuck is Trace when you need him? I swear, he was just here...    

"C'mon Maddie..nobody has to know." He smirks again as he grinds his hips into mine and I have to bite back the moan threatening to escape my lips.    

Oh Jesus Christ...this has to stop, right now.    

It feels so damn good, but it's got to stop.    

"Justin, you're drunk. We can't do this." I shake my head and try to move but he holds me in place.     

Suddenly, his lips crash against mine and I can't even breathe. I want him, oh God, do I want him, but I've got to be the smart one here. If we get involved, there's no telling what could happen. I mean, if things went south before our two years are up, it could completely blow our cover. Johnny would kill us.   

"No." I pull away from him quickly and shake my head. I wiggle out of his grasp and practically run up to my bedroom, locking the door behind me.    

If he keeps this up, I'm going to reach my breaking point and I can't allow that to happen. My feelings for him are getting stronger everyday and I don't know how much longer I can keep up the act.     

Deep down, I know he doesn't want me. He's a sex-starved 20-something male and I'm convenient. That's all it is to him. He doesn't even realize what he's doing to me.    

And, I think that's what hurts the most.

"Madison Fox and Justin Timberlake. Two names most people wouldn't throw together even in a paragraph. She's a hard-partying rock star. He's the womanizing king of pop. She had to bite and claw her way to the top, becoming a virtual overnight sensation. He danced his way into the hearts of teenage girls world wide.    

The oil and water of Hollywood.    

Somehow, these two managed to find each other in a world where relationships are used to get a leg up. The word love is used loosely in the entertainment industry. It's a product, but these two could be the real deal.    

Even a blind man can see the blazing chemistry between the two. They may be worlds apart, but their personalities compliment each other beautifully. Fox is loud and silly, where Timberlake is quiet and reserved. She will speak her mind with no hesitation, while he puts serious thought into each word.     

He's a southern boy. She's a city girl.    

The couple remain vague on the details of their courtship, but talk about married life with all the excitement of a child on Christmas morning.     

"We work at it, you know?" Timberlake says of his relationship with his wife. "It's not easy, but we do what we can, and we actually enjoy it."    

Timberlake makes no bones about the fact that he's an incredibly private guy. Which, may actually be what drives the media to pursue him more aggressively. Fox is well known for being an open book as far as her life goes. She lays it all out there, you can take her as she is, or leave her.     

For a couple who weren't even known to be dating, one has to wonder, why would they speak so publicly about their marriage? According to Fox, the two were simply tired of hiding.    

"We couldn't go anywhere or do anything. It was becoming kind of a chore to be together and when we decided we wanted to get married, we knew something had to change."    

And change it did. Since their quickie nuptials in Vegas nearly six months ago, the couple has been thrust into the spotlight. Movie premieres, industry parties, interviews, photo shoots. They're a busy pair, but they seem to take it all in stride.    

"Eventually, it'll all die down and we can live our lives. That's what I'm looking forward to. When everything calms down a bit and I can just be with her."        

Holy shit.    

We did it. We actually pulled it off. I don't even have to read the whole thing to know that.    

I gotta admit, even I'm pretty impressed with how well the article turned out. The seven page spread and the photos portray Madison and I, exactly the way Johnny wanted.    We sound like a normal, happily married couple.     

I don't know how, but we did it.      

It sounds kind of weird, but now that the article's out, I think this whole thing might get a little bit easier. I mean really, our whole act was resting on the believability of that article, and we actually pulled it off.    

Madison even managed to get a follow up interview with Rolling Stone thrown in there and a small section about Beth and her bullshit is included. Granted, it doesn't delve into the whole mess, but it does address the betrayal and how Madison has her guard up now.        

I know Madison wanted revenge, but I doubt she'll actually get it. I mean yeah, she could tell the entire world exactly what Beth did to her, but there's just too many risks involved. Beth could very well blow our cover, and God only knows what kind of hell would break loose then.    

I think it's best if Madison just sticks to giving her shitty job references.    

I still feel a little weird about the whole thing. I wanted to be angry and I would have loved to tear into Beth, but seeing the way Madison's face fell when she heard the news, changed everything. It was like I didn't care what had been said and done to me, I just wanted to protect her. I've seen her angry and upset plenty of times, but I never imagined I'd see that kind of pain in her eyes.    

It just...it really got to me for some reason. I guess, Madison and I are a lot closer than I thought, but I guess we almost have to be.  We're going through the hardest thing either of us has ever had to do, together. It formed a bond between us and nobody else will ever understand it.    

Jesus Christ...I sound like a woman.    

I really hate getting all sappy and shit, but Madison just brings it out of me. I can't explain it, but being around her makes me want to be different. She's made me realize that the Hollywood lifestyle is completely over rated. Because of her, I just want to be myself, fuck what anybody else thinks.    

"Morning." She nods as she passes through the hallway and heads for the kitchen.    

Today's the big day. We're going to the studio to lay down a few demos, and see what we come up with. She hasn't let me see any of her stuff, so I haven't got a clue what I'm working with.     

I've begged. I've pleaded. I even snuck into her room to get my hands on that damn notebook, but as luck would have it...I got busted. I jumped about a foot in the air when she creeped up behind me, while I rummaged through her dresser.    

I don't care what anyone says. Women are much sneakier than men.    

The front door opens and shuts suddenly, and Jc appears in front of me seconds later.        

"What's up man?"

"Why aren't you all ready?"    

"Madison just got up." I shrug as he rolls his eyes. "What's all that?" I gesture to the paperwork in his hands and he shakes his head.    

"Resumes for new assistants. But, I've got a funny feeling Madison won't be too thrilled with the idea of hiring a stranger, so either I do the work myself, which is virtually impossible, or I hire someone close to her." He eyes me carefully and I already know what he's thinking.        

But, I've got news for his ass...it ain't happening.    

"You're not taking Trace." I say sternly. "And I'm not sharing him either."    

I know that probably sounds kinda gay, but damnit...Trace is my PA.    

"I don't want Trace, you idiot." Jc chuckles as he plops down on the couch. "I'm thinking Chelsea. Madison already trusts her. She'd just need to learn the basics, which I was thinking Trace could help her with."    

"Not a bad idea." I nod in agreement. "But...she doesn't know what's really going on here."
   

"She doesn't have to." He says simply and shrugs. "You guys put up a good enough front, it just has to be up more often."    

Isn't that just fucking fantastic? Not only do we have to lie to the rest of the world, now we'll have to lie in the comfort of our home. But then again, I know he's right. Madison won't want some stranger around after everything Beth has done.    

Even though I'm still not Chelsea's biggest fan, there's no denying the truth. Madison trusts the girl with her life. She's smart enough to handle the business aspect of things. She already knows plenty about dealing with the media and the fans. With a little guidance from Trace, she'd make a damn good PA.    

It's perfect.

****************************    

"Can I see the lyrics?"    

"No."    

"Will you sing something?"     

"Uhh...no."

"Can I atleast see the sheet music?"    

"Nope."    

I swear to God, I'm going to kill her.    

We've been in the studio for almost two hours and we've accomplished absolutely nothing. And, it's all her fault. She's just so damn stubborn.    

I mean, I kind of get where she's coming from, I have tons of stuff I've written that will never see the light of day for various reasons, but I don't bring that shit into the studio. Madison has three notebooks with her, and she won't let me touch any of them.    

If she's embarrassed or something, she really doesn't have to be. I consider myself to be fairly professional about this kind of stuff. I'm not going to hold any of her material against her.    

Even though Madison and I have become friends, I think maybe, she's afraid to let herself be that open with me. Showing someone your work makes you pretty vulnerable, but there comes a time where you just have to get over that fear.     

I get the vibe that her songs are all pretty personal for her, and I understand that...I really do. But, she's gotta work with me. Her career is at stake here.    

A small part of me can't help wondering if this sudden shyness has something to do with Beth. Madison trusted her completely and that trust was broken in a major way. If I was in her shoes, I guess I'd be a little distant and weirded out too.    

"Look, Madison...you've got to work with me, alright? I don't want to be a dick or anything, but you can't waste time like this. RCA isn't fucking around. They will drop you."    

Her eyes lock with mine and anger flashes in them before her expression softens and she nods slowly.  "I just...I'm really nervous."    

"There's nothing to be nervous about. It's just you and me. Jc won't be back for a couple hours." I give her an encouraging smile and she seems to relax a bit. "Now, will you let me see your notebooks?"    

She eyes me cautiously before handing over one of the books. She clasps her hands together and bites her lip nervously as I slowly open it. It sounds lame as hell, but she actually looks kind of cute, all anxious and worrying about what I'll think. I kind of like having that affect on her.    

I read over several mediocre songs before one finally catches my attention. I read over the words carefully and I'm positive I'm grinning like an idiot.     

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize what this song is about.    

"We'll try this one first." I slide the notebook across the table and she glances at it before looking back up at me, wide eyed.    

"No...I don't think that's a good idea Justin. This one's...well...I was just kind of venting and I didn't mean..."    

"It'll be good for you. Trust me."    

She rolls her eyes before grabbing her guitar and storming inside the booth.     

Have I mentioned, she's pretty damn cute when she's pissed off too?    

I know once she gets this out, she'll feel so much better. Granted, it won't fix things, but I think she needs to get some of the aggression out.     

"Just play it straight through and when you're done, we'll listen to the playback."    

"I know how to record, thank you very much." She rolls her eyes at me through the glass, before plopping down in the chair and laying her notebook on the stand in front of her.     

She places the headphones over her ears and tunes her guitar, before playing a few chords, then finally nodding at me to signal that she's ready.

The only one who took you in
The only one who held your hand
Defended you against the others
Had your back on everything
Never let you down
You turned around betrayed your only brother    

As weird as it sounds, the more she plays, the less nervous and awkward she seems. She gets a little more into the song and before I know it, her eyes are shut tight and she's belting the words out, like it's the last time she'll ever sing.     

It's actually kind of amazing to watch. I've been in the producers seat plenty of times, but I don't think I've ever been as mesmerized by the figure in the booth, as I am with her. She's just...she's incredible.

I will never be like you
I'll never do the things you do
Selfish and lonely, what's your problem
Letting go of you and this
Is harder than I thought but I will not be poisoned by your actions
Forgetting me, you took things in your hands and left me out
After we'd been through so much, how could you let me down?    

I know the demo's going to be pretty rough, but atleast we'll walk out of here with something. That's the important thing. As long as we can present them with atleast one decent song...it'll save her ass.     

I guess it's the artist in me coming out, but I've already got some big ideas for this track, hell...the rest of the album.     

The guys at RCA may have their doubts, but I've got complete faith in this girl. She's going to come out on top and they'll be kicking themselves for trying to put her down.     

It's corny as all hell, but I'm glad I get to be part of this. It feels good to help someone I care about.     

Wait a second...someone I care about? When the fuck did I start caring about Madison?     

This can't be good.

*********************************    

"I think if you add a beat to it, it'll set the guitars off. Just something subtle."     

"I don't know." Madison scrunches up her nose and shakes her head. "What do you think Jace?"    

"I actually think Justin's right." He shrugs and I flash Madison a triumphant smile.    

Of course I'm right. I'm Justin fucking Timberlake, and I'm always right.    

"Fine." Madison sighs loudly and rolls her eyes. "But, if it sounds like some techno piece of shit, it comes out."        

Well, it's official.... Madison Fox has a long, bright future with RCA. I'd just like to take a moment to say, I knew it. I was a little worried at first, but deep down...I knew she'd be just fine, especially with my help.    

 After we turned in that first demo, RCA put up the funding for the rest of the album, hired the studio musicians and left us to our own devices. Some of the backing music has been laid down and now, it's just a matter of recording Madison's vocals and making a few small adjustments.     

Luckily, I've been so damn busy the last week, I haven't had the time to sit down and sort through all of these thoughts that keep floating through my head.     

I mean, "caring" about someone isn't really that big of a deal. I care about my family. I care about my friends. Madison is just another friend that I care about. Plain and simple.    

I've been trying really hard to convince myself of that, but I can't help wondering...is it really just friendly caring, when I can't stop picturing her naked?    

Probably not.    

I guess being attracted to her wouldn't be such a bad thing. She's a cool chick, nice to look at and legally...she is my wife. I mean hey...maybe we could get a friends with benefits type thing going. I haven't gotten laid in months and I could do a lot worse than Madison.    

Maybe it's just sex deprivation getting to me and its twisting my thoughts. Maybe I'm just so desperate to get laid that suddenly, a woman I normally wouldn't go anywhere near, isn't such a bad option.     

I mean, it would work fairly well since she's around all day, every day.     

I know...I sound like a complete jackass.     

Truth of the matter is, I don't know what the hell is going on. Maybe I'm just slowly but surely losing my damn mind. Atleast that explanation would make sense, because me having feelings for Madison, just doesn't make sense.     

I mean yeah, she's cool and we're friends...but I can't have feelings for her. Our situation is bad enough, I don't need emotions getting in the way. Especially if she doesn't feel the same.     

Sure, there's been a few instances of some heavy flirting and even a little physical stuff, but almost every time, one of us was drunk.    

In a way, it's not all that hard to see why I'd be attracted to her. Number one...she's fuckin hot. She has a body most women would kill for, and she's just...she's so pretty. I know that sounds stupid, but she is. She has the brightest blue eyes and an incredible smile.    

Even if I'm in a shitty mood, all she has to do is smile at me and I forget what I was mad about. But, I think the thing I like the most, is the light smattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks. With all the make-up she wears, most people don't even know they're there, but I get to see them everyday.    

Call me crazy, but it's just cute.     

I know a lot of guys go for the girls with the heavy make-up, myself usually included, but I prefer Madison without an ounce of that shit. She looks damn good either way, but there's just something special about her without it. I don't even know what it is, but there's... something.    

We got off to a really rocky start, but I've come to realize that I was so completely wrong about her. I had her pegged as this bitchy, money hungry, fame seeking diva.     

Needless to say...I'm an idiot.    

In reality, Madison is about as sweet and down to earth as it gets. Granted, her sweet side isn't always on display but I know it's there.     

She's worked damn hard to get where she is, and she deserves every bit of the success she's achieved. She's pretty tough too. The tabloids have printed some really nasty shit about her, but she's always held her head high, refusing to let them bring her down.    

She knows exactly who she is, and she isn't afraid to be herself. In this business, that's incredibly rare.     

To some extent, I think she's been rubbing off on me a bit. I'm getting a little more outspoken. I've relaxed a lot when it comes to my image and dealing with the press. I guess, I'm just tired of putting on an act.    

Unfortunately, there's one act I have to keep up. I've got to see this marriage nonsense through. In the beginning, I'm sure I could have found a way out, but it's been almost six months. We have to let this run it's course.    

I'm just afraid that's going to get fairly difficult with all the crazy shit that's been running through my mind lately.     

"Alright...if you guys don't feed me soon, I'll be useless." Madison pouts up at Jc and I can't help noticing the way he looks at her, a small smile playing at his lips.    

I've always thought that Madison and Jace had this older brother-little sister type relationship, but now...all the protective words, and adoring smiles he throws her way don't seem so brotherly after all.    

Maybe I never cared enough to pay attention or Jace did an excellent job of hiding it. Whatever the case, now it's clear as day.     

He's crazy about her. Probably always has been.    

I remember when he first got her signed, it was like his world revolved around her. He was constantly in the studio with her, talking her up to anyone who'd listen. He was just so damn proud of his little discovery.    

Maybe at first, he was that older brother figure but somewhere along the line, he fell for her and I finally understand his slight obsession with this woman.    

I just wish I would have seen it sooner. Maybe then, I could have kept all these feelings from stirring up.    

I guess this is just one more thing to add to my growing list of reasons not to fall for Madison. Jc is practically family and if growing up in the south has taught me anything, it's that you don't betray your family.    

Jace is a sensitive guy and I know this would tear him apart, especially if I let my feelings get the best of me and I acted on them. No matter how I feel about her, I can't be responsible for him getting hurt.    

Jc could treat her a million times better than I ever could. He probably knows more about her than I ever will, and most importantly...he got her career started, and that's going to tie the two of them together forever. Madison isn't the type to forget favors and I know she's going to spend the rest of her life trying to pay Jc back for everything he's done for her.    

So, I'll do the right thing. I'll keep my feelings to myself and in a year and a half, I'll walk out of their lives and never look back.

"Judas"-Kelly Clarkson  

I ease into my seat and pull my beanie a little lower on my head, trying to avoid the curious stares coming at me from every direction.     

I thought a Fleetwood Mac concert was the last place anyone would recognize me. I fully expected a crowd of people closer to my parents age, rather than mine. Apparently, I was wrong.    

The arena is packed to the rafters with people of every age and race. Needless to say, I'm more than a little surprised to see so many people around my age and younger.    

I knew I shouldn't have come here alone, but oh no...I just had to let Justin plan the evening.    

Originally, it didn't sound so bad. He had interviews and meetings filling his entire day, so he thought it would be easier for him to just meet me at the venue after his last meeting. I was ok with that, so I agreed. I just didn't plan on having most of Chicago staring at me, wondering why I showed up to a concert alone.    

I'm actually beginning to wonder that myself. I've been here for a good 20 minutes or so. Justin should have been here by now.    

I dig my phone out of my purse to call him, but stop when I see a tall figure, baseball cap pulled low over his eyes, heading down the aisle toward me. It's about damn time.    

He shoots me an easy smile as he takes his seat, and whips his hat off.    

What the hell?!?!    

"Hey...Justin was supposed to call you." His smile falls at the confused look on my face. "He's stuck in a meeting and couldn't make it. He asked me to come so you wouldn't be alone. And...who could honestly pass up a free front row ticket for Fleetwood Mac?" He chuckles softly and shrugs.     

"Th..thanks." I stutter, still shocked by his presence.     

"It's nothing." He shakes his head and the lights dim.    

In an instant, I'm on my feet with the rest of the crowd, screaming at the top of my lungs and anxiously awaiting the arrival of my all time favorite band.    

A heavy cloud of smoke fills the stage and the opening strands of "The Chain" pour from the speakers.     

I wanted so badly to enjoy this night. I wanted Justin here with me. I wanted him to see how truly amazing this band this. I wanted him to see the reason I started performing, but mostly...I wanted him to finally be able to understand me.    

Music is my life, not just in the sense that my career is centered around it. I'm a huge fan of all types of music, from country to pop, oldies to rap. I've always believed that the type of music a person listens to, says a lot about who they are.    

It may sound strange, but Fleetwood Mac has kind of been the soundtrack to my life.    

They were my very first concert. I learned to play guitar to the chords of "Landslide." I had my first kiss while "Say You Love Me" boomed out of my car stereo. I played "The Chain" as part of my set the night I met Jc. When I signed my record deal, I blared "Don't Stop" the whole way home.     

I have so many memories that have been shaped by the music of Fleetwood Mac, and for some unknown reason, I wanted to share that with Justin. I wanted him to see a side of me that no one but my family and Chelsea has ever seen.     

And I haven't got a clue why.    

I just...I want Justin to know me, the real me. Not the musician. Not the girl faking a marriage. Not the pathetic, guarded person I've become because of what Beth did to me.     

I want him to really see me, and tonight would have been his first glimpse.    

Instead, I'm here with my manager.     

I guess I shouldn't complain too much. I love Jace and always have a good time with him, but he isn't Justin.     

I'm so damn mad at him, I can't hardly see straight. He promised he'd be here. He knew this was important to me, but he ditched me anyway.     

When I opened that envelope on Christmas and saw the tickets, I thought that was my sign that things had finally changed. I thought maybe I was getting to see the real Justin, but now I'm wondering...did he even get the tickets himself? Hell...he probably had Jc buy them and out of guilt, he sent Jc here in his place.    

Bastard.    

He completely disregarded me and my feelings, just like he's done since the day we met. He doesn't care about me in any way, shape or form. He can claim that we're friends as much as he wants, the truth is...he's always going to let me down.   

But, I'm not going to dwell on it.     

For the next two hours, I'm going to watch my favorite band perform my favorite songs, and I'm sure as hell not going to worry about Justin Timberlake.

***************************************    

I look down at the business card in my hands and grin. I don't think you could wipe this stupid smile off of my face, even if you tried.     

Stevie Nicks actually knows who I am! Better yet...she wants to work with me!    

I swear, I thought I dreamed the whole thing, but the pictures stored in my digital camera and the business card with her personal phone number scrawled on the back are proof enough.    

I finally met my idol!    

To say I'm giddy, would be a gross understatement.     

I don't think it's even completely set in yet. I mean, I can't believe I got to actually meet her, let alone hear her say she's a fan of mine. And she was so sweet, she greeted everyone backstage with the same enthusiasm. That just gave me one more reason to idolize her. She's absolutely amazing.    

"So, can you die happy now or what?" Jc asks with a laugh as we head for my car. Luckily, the crowd is too busy trying to maintain their post-concert high to pay any attention to us. Which makes the fact that we have no security a non-issue.    

"Totally!" I shout excitedly. "I just...I still can't believe it, ya know? I mean, she's my hero!"    

"So I've heard." He chuckles and shakes his head at my sillyness.     

Sometimes, it's hard to believe that Jc is just a few years older than me. I guess he's kind of an old soul or something.    

Which, is actually a good thing when it comes to business. He looks at things the same way a much older, more experienced person would, and that's been a huge help in getting people to take him seriously. The old men who practically run the industry get the feel that Jace is on their maturity level and that has definitely benefited me.    

Nobody wanted anything to do with me until he came along. I really do owe everything to him.     

"You wanna grab something to eat?"    

"Nah. We've got an early fight. We better just go back to the hotel. When we get home, you've got studio time scheduled."    

"Hooray." I mutter sarcastically and roll my eyes.    

"Goodnight Madison." He smirks and goes to search the parking lot for his own rental car.     

Early flight and studio time be damned. I'm freakin starving. As soon as I get to the hotel, I'm getting room service.    

I know it sounds bad, but I'm already contemplating ways to skip out on going to the studio tomorrow. It's bad enough that I'll be seated next to Justin on our flight. I really don't want to spend the entire day in the confines of a small recording studio with him.     

As far as I'm concerned, the less time I spend around Justin, the better.    

I sit in concert traffic for almost two hours before I finally make it back to the hotel. Besides the valet, there isn't a single person in sight. I toss him the keys and for the first time since we arrived late last night, I walk right through the front doors.    

It sounds stupid, but it's actually kind of liberating. I really do miss the freedom of doing whatever the hell I want.    

I don't want to be the type who whines about their fame, but sometimes...it really fucking sucks. All of these people intrude on your life and there isn't a thing you can do about it. It's not fun...but you just have to deal with it.    

I chose this life, there's no point in crying about it, when I've got exactly what I spent so much time working for.     

I make it up to my room quickly, nodding at Mike, who's stationed by the elevators. Could they make it any more obvious that we're staying on this floor? The huge men wandering the halls are a dead giveaway. I mean, seriously!    

Before I even kick off my shoes, I grab the room service menu. Pretty much everything looks amazing, but I decide on chicken tenders and fries.    

After placing my order, I reach for my notebook but stop when there's a soft knock on the door.   

 There's no way they got my food up here that quick.     

I pad over to the door cautiously and take a quick glance out of the peephole. His image is a little distorted, but it's not hard to see who it is.     

Great. Just the person I wanted to see. Not.    

I pull the door open and glare at him. He shifts awkwardly before pushing past me into the room and planting himself on the couch. For a split second, I wonder how long it would take to smother him with a pillow.    

"So, how was the show?"    

"Amazing. Except for the part where you ditched me!" I yell angrily and slap the back of his head.    

"I'm sorry, alright?" He pouts and rubs the now tender spot on his head. "Damn, that fucking hurt."    

"Good." I roll my eyes at him. "We were supposed to go together. That was my Christmas present Justin. For some strange reason...I actually wanted you there."    

"I had meetings. I'm sorry Madison, but work is more important than some concert."    

We both fall silent as a loud knock sounds on the door. I let the young man enter and watch as he rolls the cart into the room, before nodding at both of us and leaving quickly.    

"Besides, Jace was there with you." Justin continues, like we'd never been interrupted. "It wasn't like I left you alone."    

Ok, he does have a point there. He could have very well not sent anyone in his place, and I would have looked like a complete jackass. But still...   

"That's not the point. You were supposed to be there."    

"Madison...chill the fuck out. It was one concert. It's not that big of a deal."    

"It's a big deal to me!"    

"Oh my god...do you hear yourself right now? Madison, we aren't a real couple, so stop acting like it! It doesn't fucking matter if I ditch you!" He roars, his face turning an unnatural shade of red.    

Looks like the old Justin has returned full force.    

"You're damn right. Because I'd never be stupid enough to be with a bastard like you!" I scream and shove him harder than I intended.     

He hops off the couch and I'm just waiting for him to take a swing at me. Instead, he grabs me by the waist and pulls me against him, his mouth landing on mine a second later.     

Shit.    

How the hell does he do that?    

One minute, I'm contemplating various ways to kill him and dump the body, but the next I can't keep my hands off of him. He makes me absolutely crazy, but I love every second of it.    

His mouth trails across my jaw and down my neck, while his hands quickly undo the button of my jeans and slide them down my legs.     

My head is screaming at me to stop, but my body and my heart have plans of their own and I'm afraid they might actually win this time.    

I mean hey...it's two against one. Totally fair, right?    

He quickly backs me into the bedroom before we both fall onto the bed. He sits up a little, resting his hands on either side of my head.     

I swear to God...I've never seen such a beautiful man in my life. From those dark to blue eyes, to that crooked cocky smile, he's perfection.     

He pulls his T-shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor and my hands instinctively move to the waistband of his sweatpants. In one swift move, I could have them off, but I'll let him wait it out a little.     

The tent in his pants seems to be getting bigger by the second and suddenly, the reality of what's happening hits me.  This is really going to happen. After dreaming and fantasizing for months, the moment is finally here.     

There's no going back from this.     

I quickly slip my hand inside his pants and he hisses when my fingers skim up the length of him, my thumb swiping across the tip.    

Oh, this is definitely going to be a good night.     

I wrap my fingers around his shaft and smile when he bites down on his bottom lip, his eyes sliding shut. I begin to pump him slowly and I can feel my want for him building in the pit of my stomach.    

This is really happening. Holy shit.    

"Fuck...Madison..." He grits out and I can't help but grin at the way my name rolls off of his tongue. That alone is almost enough to get me off.   

"Mad..Madison...St-stop." He stutters and I halt all movement.    

Oh God. Did I do something wrong? Did he finally realize how incredibly stupid this is? Maybe he's going to put a stop to this.    

After all, it shouldn't be happening anyway.     

But, it feels so fucking good.    

Ever notice how the worst things always seem to feel the best? It's so not fair.   

He presses his lips to mine sweetly before he pulls off my shirt and throws it next to his. His appreciative smile makes me so damn glad I didn't wear a bra tonight. I'd give anything to have him look at me like that, every day for the rest of my life.    

He hooks his thumbs into my panties and he pulls them off with a quick tug, leaving me completely exposed to him. His eyes travel up my body, then down again and he licks his lips seductively.    

"Damn Maddie." He smiles at me before wiggling out of his sweats and kicking them to the floor. "I know I got to see all this in Vegas...I just wish I remembered it."   

Oh Jesus Christ. This is it. We're both naked and more than ready to go. If I'm dreaming, I never want to wake up.    

He settles himself between my legs and I can feel him pressing into me. All it would take is one quick move and he could be inside of me, but...I'll restrain myself.     

I've waited six months. I'm sure a few more minutes won't kill me.    

Or maybe it will.    

"Justin...come on." I whine and rub myself against him, hoping he'll see just how badly I need him, and take pity on me.    

"Not yet." He mumbles before his lips come to rest against mine again.    

We lay like that for awhile, just kissing while his hands wander over my entire body. Never in a million years did I expect him to be so sweet with me.     

Just when I've cooled down and think maybe the magic of the moment has passed, he surges inside of me, plunging deeper than I could have ever imagined. He holds himself there for several minutes, giving me time to get used to the feel of him. He pulls out so slow it feels like torture before slamming back in and I immediately see stars.    

He continues the motions and I quickly find myself raising my hips to meet his. I wrap my legs around his waist, allowing him to hit that spot inside of me that makes my body tremble.    

"Justin...don't stop." I cry out and dig my nails into the smooth skin of his back. I have never had sex that felt even half as incredible as this does.    

We have this almost animalistic need for each other and neither of us is going to stop until we get what we want from the other. I can't even remember why I fought him off for so long.        

I was so stupid to let myself miss out on this.    

He picks up his pace and his breath is coming out in short, quick pants, his breath fanning across my skin. Each time he grunts out my name I can feel myself getting closer to the edge. My walls begin to tighten around him and his lips crash against mine.     

He pulls away quickly and smiles down at me. Before I know it, I clamp down on him and an explosion courses through my body. My toes curl, my legs shake and I have this tingling sensation all over.    

I practically scream his name as he comes inside of me and collapses, his head falling on my chest.  He plants a few soft kisses on my collarbone before he rolls over to the other side of the bed.    

Just like that, it's over.    

He doesn't say a word as he turns his back to me, fluffs his pillow and settles in.    

I know I'm going to regret this in the morning. We're barely even friends, much less anything more. There's just no way this should have happened.     How could I be so stupid?    

I'm still angry with him because of the concert, but now...I'm even more mad at myself.     

I've held back on these feelings for six months and no matter how good it felt...I don't think it was worth it.     

I've just dug myself into an even deeper hole, and this time...I don't know how the hell I'll get out of it.

******************************    

My eyes snap open and I look around the room, not surprised at the fact that I'm alone. I guess it's a good thing I was expecting this.     

All of the times he kissed me or tried to make a move, were for one reason and one reason only. And, I was dumb enough to give him exactly what he wanted.    I let my feelings for him cloud my judgement and yet again...I've made a massive mistake.     

When did I become such a fuck up?    

I want to be mad at him for leaving, but really...I can't blame him. Had we been in his room, I probably would have left the second he fell asleep.     

There's a loud knock on my door and I freeze. Please dear God, don't let that be him. I haven't had time to fully process last night and I'm so not ready to deal with the awkwardness that I'm sure will take place between us.     

I throw on a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt, then head for the door. I yank it open and breathe a sigh of relief when I see Jc and Chelsea standing there.    

There is a God after all.     

"Morning sunshine." Chelsea smiles brightly as I stand back to let the two of them enter. "Need help packing or anything?"    

"Umm...no..I don't think so." I mumble.    

"We just came by to let you know that Chelsea has accepted the job. She's going to head back to L.A with us today."

"Really? That's...that's great."    

I'd completely forgotten about Jc wanting to hire Chelsea.     

Deep down, I knew she'd take the job. Chelsea loves Chicago, but I think she's always wanted to get out. Not to mention the fact that every time I did get to see her, she complained about my lack of spare time.    

This way, I'll have my best friend with me pretty much 24/7, and that's definitely a good thing.     

Unfortunately, there's also a downside. She is one of the many who believe that Justin and I really are together.     

Either, I tell her the truth or I keep up the act while she's around. After last night, I think telling her the truth might be the easiest of the two.     

I wish I knew what the hell was going to happen. Justin runs so hot and cold with everything, there's really no way to tell how he's going to act.     

But, I'm afraid it definitely won't be good.     

He appears in the doorway a second later and smiles brightly. "Morning all." He strolls over to me and plants a kiss on my forehead before throwing himself down onto the couch and flipping on the TV.    

"Alright...we need to be out of here in 20 minutes. Madison...you should probably change." Jc gives me a short nod and disappears into the hallway.    

"And why are you in such a good mood popstar?" Chelsea eyes Justin suspiciously.   

I guess she has every reason to be curious. I don't think she's ever seen Justin in a good mood, with the exception of Christmas.     

Maybe having her as my assistant isn't such a good idea after all.    

"It's a good day." He shrugs before glancing at me and looking away just as quickly.     

"Chels...why don't you go get us some coffee or something?"    

"Sounds like a plan boss." She giggles before saluting me and heading out the door.     

Once Justin and I are alone, an awkward silence falls over the room. He continues to flip channels and I toss the rest of my things into my suitcase.     

One of us has to say something. We can't just ignore this. Last night was a big deal, whether we want to believe it or not.    

"So..." I drawl out and he finally turns to look at me.    

"Don't tell me you want to analyze last night to death." He frowns and rolls his eyes. "Look...we both needed to get laid. End of story. Besides...you're the party girl, remember? This should be normal for you."    

And just like that...we're right back where we started six months ago.

"Down to you
You're pushing and pulling me down to you
But I don't know what I want
Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself
From saying something
That I should've never thought of you"   

"Again...not as angry." I mutter through the speaker and Madison rolls her eyes, but does as I ask.    

There's still a slight edge to her voice, but it'll work. Unfortunately, I know I'm the reason she can't get her head in the right place. She's fucking up her work and it's my fault.     

I honestly don't know what the hell got into me last night. I just...I couldn't fight it anymore. I wanted her and I was determined to get her.     

I probably shouldn't have bailed after she fell asleep, but I had to get out of there. I didn't want the awkwardness or the questions or any of the drama that would surely come from our actions.    

Basically, I fucked up and in a big way.     

Last night never should have happened. Plain and simple. I've finally realized how Jc feels about her and I swore to myself that I'd let him have her. That's the way it should be. I didn't want her from the beginning...why should I get her now, when he's been sticking it out with her for the last four and a half years?     

I don't deserve her, in more ways than one.    

I thought maybe I could push her away, chalk last night up to nothing more than meaningless sex and it worked....for about 30 seconds. When I saw that hurt look in her eyes, the guilt kicked in and suddenly...I felt like the biggest prick on the planet.    

I swear, I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I know I was an asshole and I know I need to make it right. I just don't know how.     

I had a nice long flight home to think and the only conclusion that I've come to, is that I do care about her. She isn't just a girl I picked up somewhere, she isn't some groupie who's up for whatever type of debauchery I have planned and she sure as hell isn't just a friend I can screw around with.    

I don't know exactly what I feel for her, but it runs far deeper than I originally thought and I can't even begin to put a label on it.    

All I know is, it's got to stop. All these thoughts and feelings have to stop now, before they get worse. Too many people stand to get hurt, and I think it's better if I spare them and take the bullet myself.     

I'm going to do whatever I have to, to get Madison and Jc together.    

I know, that may not exactly be fair, especially since I haven't got a clue how Madison feels about me, much less Jc. But one thing is for sure, if I didn't matter to her, the things I said this morning would have rolled right off her back. Instead, I've been getting the silent treatment since we left Chicago.     

I should have just gone to that damn concert. I could have avoided all of this if I'd just gone like I was supposed to. Granted, my meetings did run a little later than I'd planned, but I could have made it there before the show started.    

I just...I saw that as the perfect opportunity to push her and Jace a little closer together. I knew she was practically over the moon about the damn thing, I figured it didn't really matter who was there with her. I thought Jc would use the alone time to his advantage, but oh no...he has to be the perfect fucking gentlemen and make me look like an even bigger dick.     

A small part of me can't help wondering...if he's as crazy about her as he seems, why hasn't he made a move yet? He's had almost five years to act on his feelings, so why hasn't he?    

Sure the whole manager/client thing would be a little odd, but Jace is a complete professional. He'd figure out a way around that.     

The more I think about it, the more I wonder...should I really fight the way I feel because of a guy who's too chicken shit to make a move?     

I don't know, but I need to get this shit off my mind, clear my head for a bit. I just keep harping on it and I'm ending up with more questions rather than answers.     

"This doesn't sound too bad." Trace bobs his head with the beat as we listen to the playback.     

"Yeah...wouldn't be a single though."     

"I don't think we've got a single yet." Jc sighs and runs his hands through his hair.     

"How the hell would we? We've been recording for two weeks." I mumble and roll my eyes.    

Is it bad that I'm kind of starting to hate a guy who's been like my big brother, 90 percent of my life?    

"We're on a time limit man...that's why RCA doesn't want her playing on this album. This has to get out quick."    

"So you'd rather she put out shitty work and end up with another album that doesn't sell?"    

"That's not what I'm saying." He rolls his eyes and I can hear the aggression rising in his voice. "I have complete faith in her. I've seen what she writes and I know it's good...you all just need to pick up the pace a bit."    

"Tell ya what Jace...why don't you produce this fucking album and I'll work on my own shit?"    

"Don't be an ass." He mutters and rolls his eyes again.     

"So...I think we could all use some lunch." Trace says suddenly, stopping the argument before it starts.    

Thank God Madison is still in that damn booth, flipping through her notebook. I don't even want to think about what kind of hell she'd raise if she heard any of that little exchange. I mean, I'm already on her shit list, if I get into it with Jace, it'll just piss her off even more.    

I don't know why, but I'm feeling a little hostile toward him. In a way, I blame him for what happened last night. I know, I know, I know...how the hell can I blame him, when clearly the whole thing is my fault.    

I just...if he hadn't taken that damn ticket, I would have had to go. And I guess, I'm a little irritated that he's kept his feelings hidden for so long. If he would have told her years ago that he had feelings for her, they could have gotten together and then...Madison and I never would have gotten married to begin with.    

That's it...everything is Jc's fault.     

I'm sure I sound like a God damned idiot, but blaming him makes me feel a little less shitty.     

When did I become such an obnoxious jackass? 

************************************    

I hear yet another loud thump come from upstairs, followed by Madison cursing angrily. I haven't got a clue what she's doing up there, but she's been at it for several hours.    

The smart thing would probably be to go up and see, but after she damn near socked me in the face at the studio because I told her she sounded a little flat, I've decided it's best to just give her some space.     

Another loud crash echoes through the house, glass shattering a second later and finally...silence.     

For all I know, she's up there destroying everything I own, but I'm not moving. I completely deserve whatever she decides to dish out and I'm not going to stop her.     

All I can do is hope that once she's finished obliterating the second floor of my house, that she'll have calmed down, give me some time to grovel and maybe if I'm lucky, we can work our way back to atleast being friends.     

Another hour passes before she finally stomps down the steps, dragging two large suitcases behind her.     

Looks like she wasn't tearing up my shit after all.    

She stops in the hallway, grabbing her purse and keys off of the glass table, then heads for the door. She's...she's not leaving, is she?    

"What the hell are you doing?"        

She whips around to face me and I swallow hard. She looks like absolute hell. Her dark eye make-up is smeared, gray tear tracks staining her cheeks. Her over sized T-shirt and sweat pants practically swallow her thin frame and she just looks...broken.    

"I'm going back to my apartment. I can't do this anymore." Her voice cracks and that's when it hits me.    

I'm seeing a side of her that I don't think anyone has ever seen before. This is Madison Fox, with a broken heart.    

Maybe it's because of last night and the things I said this morning, or maybe...she's finally had enough of living a lie.    

Whatever the case, I can't let her leave. Not like this.    

"Come on Madison...you don't have to go. We'll talk about this and straighten it out, ok?"    

"No." She shakes her head sadly, her eyes focusing on the marble floor. "My life has gone to complete shit since the day I met you, and I'm so tired of it. Everything is just so, so wrong and I can't keep going like this."    

I nod slowly, letting her words really sink in. Even though I don't want to admit it....our marriage has driven her life into the ground, and I blame myself for a lot of that.    

She lost her assistant, she was betrayed by someone she trusted. Her album failed miserably and she damn near lost her record deal. The media is hounding her constantly, about me, about her career...they just won't let up.    

She's had it pretty rough these last six months, while I was reaping all the benefits of our publicity. I guess I was just too focused on myself to notice that her life was falling apart at the seams.     

The media is practically having a love affair with me. They seem to think married life suits me quite well and they love to report on my now squeaky clean image. My album sales are up, I'm doing twice as much promo work as I was before. Everybody wants a piece of me, and it's done nothing but boost my career.    

Just like Johnny wanted.    

"Jc went to talk to Johnny...hopefully we're moving the divorce debacle up about a year and a half." She shrugs and rolls her eyes.    

If we move the divorce up, then...then she's gone and I'm not ready for that yet.     

"Madison...let's just talk, alright? I'm sorry about last night and this morning.. I just..."    

"This isn't about you." She cuts me off, a biting tone in her voice. "Last night and this morning don't matter...I'm over it."

"Then what the hell is wrong?"

"I'm just...tired of putting on a show." She says so softly, I have to strain to hear her.   

"Fine...I get that, but...but you don't have to leave."    

It's taking all I have not to get down on my hands and knees, and beg her to stay. I just..I was supposed to have more time. I was supposed to get the chance to make everything right and hopefully, someday muster up the courage to say screw Jc, and tell her how I feel.     

"Bye Justin." She mutters as she opens the door and steps outside, suitcases clattering behind her. She throws them into the trunk and in a matter of seconds, she climbs into the drivers seat, then peels out of the driveway, disappearing from sight.     

She's gone. She's actually gone.    

After all those months of wishing she'd just go away, she finally has and now...I don't know what the fuck to do.     

She can't be serious about this, can she? No. There's no way.    

She's just blowing off some steam. She'll be back in a few hours, probably laughing at herself for being so dramatic. As soon as she comes home, we'll talk and we'll straighten this whole mess out. Everything's going to be fine.    

So, until that time comes...I'm going to sit on these front steps and wait for her.    

She'll come back. She has to.    

Right?

********************************    

Four hours.    

Like a fucking idiot...I sat out on those steps for four damn hours.     

I haven't seen or heard from Madison at all in that time. I've called and left God knows how many messages, and she has yet to return any of my calls. I should have expected this. She's really gone.    

It's almost comical. I've spent so much time trying to get rid of her, threatening to kick her out, locking her out of the house. I wanted her as far away from me as humanly possible. Now, I've finally got exactly what I wanted and I'm fucking miserable, probably because deep down, I know she was serious when she said she was leaving.     

She finally reached her breaking point.     

I'm sure it's been building up for quite some time and I guess the explosion was inevitable. If I hadn't been so wrapped up in my own bullshit, I might have seen it coming. We were supposed to be friends, I should have been there for her. I should have tried to help her. Instead, I just pushed her even closer to the edge.     

Honestly, I can't believe something like this didn't happen sooner. It was just a matter of time before this whole thing blew up in our faces in some way.     

As stupid as it sounds, it's taken me until now to realize that she was just trying to help me. I was the one who would have been damaged by a drunken wedding and annulment. I was the one whose image couldn't be tarnished. She stuck around to cover my ass, and this is how I repay her.    

I spent months insulting and criticizing her, blaming her for the things that happened that night. I was just as guilty as she was, if not more so. I knew she was drunker than I was, but I did nothing to stop what happened.     

I've been so fucking stupid about all of this. I've wasted so much time being an asshole when I should have been getting to know her.    

Maybe then, I would have developed all of these feelings much sooner and I could have told her how I felt.     

I won't say I'm falling in love...yet. But, my feelings are definitely headed in that direction. It's crazy really, I still don't know very much about her, but I can clearly see myself falling for her.     

She could be the woman to bring me to my knees, the one I promise forever to, for real.    

I may not know much about her, but I do know that she makes me want to be a better person. She's made me realize just how jaded the industry has made me and I desperately want to get away from that.    

I know that when she smiles, suddenly all of my problems don't seem so bad. I know that her laugh is probably the most beautiful sound in the world. I know that her scent is so ingrained in my memory, I'll remember it as long as I live, but most importantly... I know that she makes me feel things, no one else ever has.    

I don't need to know when she got her first kiss, or what presents she got for her 10th birthday. All I need to know, is how I feel about her.     

I can deny it all I want, but I've got it bad for the girl.

*********************    

"You gonna answer that shit or what?"     

I groan and roll off of the couch quickly. It's damn near four in the morning, who the hell would be calling here now?    

Trace showed up around 10, trying to convince me to stop moping and go out, but I just couldn't do it. I mean, what if Madison came back and I wasn't here?    

I wasn't about to miss an opportunity to straighten things out with her and maybe...tell her how I feel.    

I could always go to her apartment, but why go out of my way to make a fool of myself? I've accepted the fact that she's gone, now all I can do is hope that she comes back. If she doesn't, I'll have to live with the fact that I screwed up.     

Needless to say, I was finally able to convince Trace that going out was the last thing I needed and we've been lounging around ever since. We haven't talked about Madison or the fact that she left, since he got here.     

See, that's the cool thing about our friendship. We don't have to talk or analyze stuff to death, but we're there for each other. He knows I just need to hang out and find some type of distraction.     

I haven't told him about last night or how I feel about Madison, but I'd be willing to bet he already knows. Trace has been my best friend since we were in diapers. He knows me better than my own mother does and unfortunately, that also means he's probably picked up on my sudden dislike for Jc.     

I know I still need to figure that mess out, but it can wait. Right now, my main focus is getting Madison back into this house. I can deal with all the other shit later, I just need her back here. I just don't know how to make that happen.    

I finally grab the phone, without checking the caller ID. Probably not a good idea, but it's a little late to worry about that now.    

"Hello?"
    

"Mr. Timberlake?"    

"Yeah?" I haven't got a clue who it is. The voice isn't even vaguely familiar and now I'm a little worried.    

I've had to change both my home and cell phone numbers dozens of times over the years, but somehow, there's always those crazies out there who manage to get a hold of them. It doesn't make any sense.    

"Mr. Timberlake, this is John Scott from TMZ. We were calling to ask for a statement regarding your wife's arrest?"    

What the fuck is this guy talking about?    

"Excuse me?"    

"Would you care to comment on your wife's arrest for public intoxication?"    

I slam the phone down on the receiver and stare at it. Number one, how the fuck did TMZ get my home phone number and secondly...Madison got arrested? What the hell?    

"You alright man?" Trace calls from his spot on the couch.     

"I...I don't know." I stutter and shake my head. "Call Chelsea. I think Madison's in jail."    

"Oh shit...for real?" He asks, a hint of laughter in his voice.    

"Just call Chelsea."     

I gotta admit, if I wasn't so damn worried about her, I'd probably find this a little amusing too. But, I saw her when she flew out of here this afternoon, I know she isn't exactly in the right frame of mind. The last damn thing she needed was to go out drinking.     

I take the stairs two at a time and head for my bedroom. I grab my wallet and every single one of my credit cards. I don't care if she doesn't want to see me, I have to go get her.     

I just don't understand how the fucking media found out about this, before I did. Surely Jc or Chelsea has to know already. And Johnny...oh fuck.    

Johnny is absolutely going to lose his mind over this. I couldn't care less what the media or the fans think of me or my wife and her arrest, but Johnny just might kill us both.     I jog back down the steps and find Trace waiting for me at the door.    

"Alright...Chelsea didn't know anything. Apparently, Madison went shopping earlier and never came back. Chelsea thought she came back here, so she wasn't too worried about it." He says quickly as we rush outside to my truck. "She's calling Jc now and we'll meet them at the jail."    

Jail.    

My wife is in jail.     

Maybe she was telling the truth earlier. Maybe her leaving had nothing to do with me. Maybe she really had just had enough of pretending and this is how she's coping, by going back to her old ways.     

Granted, I don't know what's really going on, but I've got a pretty good feeling.    

It's the same thing I did a few months ago when I kissed that girl. I was just so fed up and tired of dealing with the pressure, so I went out and acted like I normally would, completely ignoring the act I was supposed to be putting on.     

I just wanted my real life back and by the looks of it, that's exactly what Madison's doing. She just wanted her life back.     

It's a short drive to the jail and as soon as we pull in, I take a deep breath. There's a mob of paparazzi hanging around the door, just waiting to catch a glimpse of her, or get their money shot. What a bunch of bastards.     

Ya know, they're really the ones to blame for all of this. If it wasn't for them and their bullshit, Madison and I probably never would have even met.     

I pull into the first empty spot I see, then Trace and I climb out of the truck quickly, before heading for the door.     

Immediately, questions are being shouted at us from all directions, blinding flashes going off every few seconds. I keep my eyes focused on the ground and ignore them, while Trace alternates between shouts of "fuck off", and "no comment."    

I'm sure Johnny will love hearing about that too.     

We approach the front desk and a middle aged, female officer smiles up at us. "Can I help you boys?"    

"Yeah. I think my wife is here."

"Name?"     

"Madison Fox."    

"Oh yeah...little miss superstar." She rolls her eyes, a smirk playing at her lips. "Follow me."    

She stands from her chair and leads us down a long, dimly lit hallway. We stop in front of a heavy metal door where she punches in a code and the door swings open. We enter another room with several small cells lining the walls, a large wooden desk in the center of the room. An older male officer is seated there, flipping through a newspaper.     

"They're here for the diva." The female officer chuckles as the man rolls his eyes.    

That's when I hear her. Her words are slurred, but there's no ignoring Madison's distinctive voice. She giggles loudly before squealing with excitement, sticking her face between the bars of the cell.    

"Justin! Baby...are you gonna bail me out?"

"I Caught Myself"-Paramore         

"How the hell could you let this happen? It's part of your fucking job to watch her!" Jc shouts, towering over Chelsea.     

I swear to God...I have to be dreaming right now. This whole scene is just... fucking ridiculous.     

Chelsea and Jc arrived a few minutes apart, which gave Chelsea virtually no time to explain any of what resulted in Madison ending up in a jail cell. Jc started in on her the second he walked in, and it's been a God damned circus ever since.     

A lot of screaming, cursing, arguing, and of course...Madison is seated on the floor of her cell, completely oblivious to the entire thing.    

It's like something out of a bad sitcom.     

"Don't even stand there and blame this on me!" Chelsea yelps. "I'm her assistant..not her fucking baby sitter!"    

"Alright...everybody chill the fuck out." Trace shouts over Chelsea and Jc's bickering. "Let's just bail her out, get the hell out of here and go home. Y'all can fight there."     

Jc moves to dig his wallet out of his pocket, but I'm quicker than he is. I hand my credit card over to the male officer, not missing the aggravated eye roll Jace shoots my way.     

In a matter of minutes, Madison is released and the officers show us the back way out. Trace quickly pulls my truck around, while Chelsea and Jc go to their own cars. We agree to meet back at my house and hopefully, we'll be able to straighten this mess out there.     

"I'm hungry." Madison pouts as she clings to me. For a split second, I thought about moving away from her, but I'm fairly certain that if she wasn't holding onto me, she'd be laying in a heap on the ground.     

"We'll eat later." I mutter as Trace pulls up in front of us.    

"Are you mad at me?"    

"No Madison...I'm not mad." I sigh and help her into the back seat. Just as I'm about to shut the door and climb into the front seat, I catch her pouting at me once again.    

"If you're not mad...you'll sit back here with me."        

I roll my eyes and slide in next to her before Trace peels out of the lot.     

I'm glad she's ok and we were able to bail her out, without incident, but now...I just want to get home and crash. The sun is just starting to rise and I think everybody needs some rest before we get into any of this shit. Plus, with Madison three sheets to the wind, we won't get any damn sense out of her.     

Unfortunately, I know as soon as we get back to my place, the arguing will start right back up. God only knows when I'll actually get some fucking sleep.     

I know Jc is all worried about Madison's image and all the other horse shit that I'm sure Johnny will bitch me out about, but my main concern is Madison. I mean, I know she was upset when she left, but I want to know what drove her to go out and get so damn drunk that she got arrested.     

I think maybe our marriage and all of the other nonsense that goes with it, has taken a much bigger toll on her than anyone thought. She put up a good front, even I was convinced that she was handling it all fairly well, but now...I'm not so sure.     

It's perfectly understandable, really. If I'd dealt with all the shit she has the last six months, I probably would have turned into a raging alcoholic a long ass time ago.    But, the last time I checked...being upset and getting drunk wasn't a crime. She had to have done something to get picked up for public intoxication, the question is...what? She had to have done something to draw that kind of attention to herself.     

"I'm bored." Madison whines and fidgets in her seat.     

"Yeah...well atleast your not in jail anymore." I mutter and roll my eyes.    

"I was in jail?" She asks, eyes widening and shock written all over her face.    

Jesus, she's drunker than I thought. Great. This is quickly turning into the day from hell.     

After what feels like hours, Trace finally pulls into the driveway, climbs out of the truck and heads inside. Before I have the chance to open my door, Madison pounces on me.    

Her hands and mouth are everywhere and even though I know I should, I can't bring myself to push her away.     

She grabs my wrist and slides my hand up her inner thigh, and I bite down hard on my bottom lip. She can't do this to me. She..she just can't.    

"Madison...wha...what are you doing?" I choke out. She giggles softly and rolls her eyes.    

"What does it look like I'm doing?" She guides my hand a little higher and my fingers brush over the lacy fabric of her panties.     

Shit, shit, shit.    

This is wrong. So completely wrong.    

She's drunk and I'm stone cold sober. It wouldn't be fair to either of us to let this go any farther, but I can't stop myself.  Her mouth attacks mine as she grinds herself down on my hand, moaning softly against my lips.  Her hands work quickly to undo my jeans and slide them off as best she can.    

I've never fooled around in the backseat of a car before, but it's much more awkward and uncomfortable than I expected. But hey, I guess there's a first time for everything.     

In an instant, I peel her panties off and she kicks them to the floor before straddling my lap once again.     

As bad as it sounds, I'm silently thanking God for short skirts and liquor. If it wasn't for that combination, I most certainly wouldn't be here right now.     

I run a finger along her slit and she lets out a low growl before yanking my shirt over my head. Her mouth trails from my shoulder to my neck and I groan when she sucks my earlobe into her mouth.     

I don't know who taught her to use her mouth like that, but someday...I'd like to thank them. If it feels this good just to have her suck on my ear, my head might fucking explode if that mouth ends up anywhere else.     

Wait a second.....What the hell am I thinking?    

There's a million reasons we can't do this again.     

Number one, any minute now...one of the three people waiting for us inside my house, could come out here and I definitely don't want to get caught screwing my fake wife in the backseat of my Escalade.     

Secondly, look at what happened this morning. I can't go through all of that again. I've got her back here and I want to keep it that way.     

Then of course, I still have this Jc shit hanging over my head. I'm supposed to be pushing the two of them together, not fucking her every chance I get.     

And last, but certainly not least...she's drunk and I refuse to take advantage of her like that.    

"Madison, stop." I say forcefully. She pauses for a second before kissing me hard, her hand slipping into the waistband of my boxer shorts. She strokes me gently a few times before I muster up the nerve to pull her hand out of my shorts.     

"We can't do this again."    

"Why not?" She looks down at me and smirks.    

Even drunk as hell, she knows she has complete control of me. How pathetic is that?        

"Because your fucking wasted, Madison." I grab my shirt and tug it on angrily.     

Why is it, when I have her all over my shit, on the verge of begging me to fuck her, I have to go and get a conscience?     

God damn morals.    

Madison pulls on her discarded underwear before stumbling out of the truck behind me. She weaves back and forth as we head up the walkway, before stopping at the foot of the steps. She winces in pain and wraps her arms around her stomach.     

Shit. I know that look.    

Before I have the chance to move, she turns and empties the contents of her stomach into the bushes in front of the porch. The distinct smell of alcohol hits my nose and I have to fight the gag reflex that's kicking in.    

Just when I think she's finished, she coughs loudly and starts the whole process over again.     

This has definitely reached "day from hell" status.

***************************    

I spent 20 minutes standing on my porch, watching Madison Fox puke into a set of rose bushes.     

Guess I can cross that off of my list of things to do before I die. Hooray.     

I'm not mad at her, I'm really not. I'm just tired and incredibly frustrated at the events of this entire day. It's like, what the hell else can go wrong?    

Eventually, Madison passed out in the yard and I had to carry her unconscious ass inside. Naturally, Trace and Chelsea got a good laugh out of the whole thing, Jc on the other hand...kind of looked like he might kill somebody. I guess it's the manager in him coming out.     

Once I got Madison settled into bed, I made my way back downstairs to find Chelsea and Trace half asleep on the couch, while Jc paced the floor, babbling into his phone.     

Now, almost an hour later, here we sit...still waiting for Jace to get off the fucking phone. Trace fell asleep awhile ago and Chelsea has been completely silent.    

I know I should probably keep my mouth shut and wait for Jace to get off the phone but well...my curiosity is starting to get the better of me.    

"So Chels..." I trail off and she turns to look at me. "What the hell happened?"    

She rolls her eyes before chuckling softly and shaking her head. "Well...I think you know the first half, don't you?"    

"Bits and pieces." I shrug lamely.    

"Look...I don't know what you guys fought about, and I don't need to. I believe that kind of stuff stays between a husband and wife, and Madison didn't want to get into it, so I didn't push her. But...I know when my best friend is upset, and whatever you did...really hurt her."    

"Yeah...I know." I reply quietly. So some of this is about me after all.     

This is where talking to Chelsea gets a bit difficult. If she knew what the hell was going on, I could probably tell her about last night, tell her why Madison left.    

But then again, if she knew the truth...she'd probably be on team Madison and wouldn't even be speaking to me right now.     

"Anyway..." She rolls her eyes and lets out a long sigh before shooting Jc a dirty look. "She was all upset and wanted to go shopping, do the whole retail therapy thing. I tried to go with her, I really did, but she wanted some space. So...she was gone for a few hours and when she didn't come back or call, I just figured she came back here to talk to you."    

"So you don't know what happened?"    

"Not really, but I can assume." She shrugs. "Madison's...she's not as tough as everybody thinks she is. Don't get me wrong, the girl's got nerves of steel, but sometimes..stuff just gets to her and unfortunately...she drinks her way through it. Not that I have room to talk or anything."    

I nod slowly and suddenly, it dawns on me...the only way to ever completely understand Madison, is through Chelsea. She knows more about Madison than anybody else probably ever will.    

Chelsea is my ticket to getting back on Madison's good side.     

Jc finally snaps his phone shut and turns to glare at Chelsea. She matches his stare and I have to bite back a laugh.     

If these two start swinging on each other, I'm out of here. Chelsea may be growing on me a bit, but she still scares me a little.     

"Well?"     

Jc rolls his eyes and plops down into a chair in the corner. "Apparently, she met some fans at a bar, and it was all downhill from there. She danced on a fucking table, flashed people in the street...and one of them just happened to be a cop." Jc groans and rubs his face tiredly.    

"That's my girl!" Chelsea giggles. "Balls to the wall, just don't give a shit partying!"
    

"I'm glad you think this is funny Chels. If you'd have been doing your job, none of this would have happened."    

"She went shopping! Besides...had I been there, I would have been in jail right next to her."    

"Are we still fighting about this shit?" Trace asks groggily, suddenly awake. "Look man...she made a mistake, big fucking deal. People get arrested every damn day. Release a statement in the morning, and get over it. She isn't some little kid you all can control."    

"I think we all need to just go home, get some sleep and figure this out tomorrow." Chelsea nods and stands from her seat.     

"Have her at the studio at eight, Justin." Jc sighs as he follows Chelsea out of the house.     

Yeah right. I'll have the drunk who hates me up that early. Sure.    

In a way, I get where Jace is coming from. If it'd been me in Madison's shoes, Johnny would have acted the same exact way, but...Madison isn't just acting out. She's got all this shit going on, and yeah...she's probably made it worse for herself, but for a short period of time, she didn't have to worry about any of it.    

She didn't have to watch her every step, afraid that someone would out us. She didn't have to think about Beth and the shit she did. She got to blow everything off for awhile, and I don't blame her for it.         

Unfortunately, her good time is going to cost her.

The weight on my bed shifts and I let out a loud groan. There is absolutely no reason for anyone to be in my room, let alone on my bed.     

Maybe if I ignore them, they'll go away.     

The intruder shakes me a few times, but I keep my eyes shut tight, willing them to go away and leave me the hell alone. I have a monstrous hangover, can't they see that?     

The television comes to life suddenly, sound blaring throughout the room. The pounding in my head intensifies and...    

Wait one damn minute...since when is there a TV in my bedroom?    

My eyes snap open and I bolt upright in bed, my eyes searching the room frantically for my framed Fleetwood Mac poster, my old guitar case, my desk...anything to prove that I'm in my apartment. Finally, my gaze lands on the figure perched at the end of the bed.     

How the hell did I get back to Justin's?    

I clearly remember packing my shit and hightailing it back to my apartment yesterday afternoon. Then, I went shopping, mostly for a distraction, but it didn't do much good. No matter where I went, or how much money I spent, I couldn't get my mind off of the fact that I'd finally hit rock bottom.     

As stupid as it sounds, it all just kind of hit me at once. My life is blasted across magazines and the internet every single day. Someone I trusted with my life, turned out to be the exact opposite of who I thought she was, the RCA mess is still on thin ice, and the icing on my dysfunctional little cake, is Justin.    

I knew I shouldn't have slept with him. I knew it would just create more problems, but that didn't stop me.     

I guess, I just wanted to feel like he cared about me, even if it was just for one night. My feelings for him have become so strong, that I'd give anything for him to feel even half of what I do. Sleeping with him let me experience that and even though I knew it would all come crashing down around me, it was worth it.    

Having him look at me like I was the most important thing in the world, and having him touch me, almost like he couldn't believe I was real, was completely worth it.    

I wish I could say I regret it, but I don't. Because, for one night...I got to see what it would be like if Justin loved me.    

The next morning, it all went to hell.    

Honestly, I could have handled him ignoring me. He could have blown me off and even though I wouldn't have liked it, I would have accepted it, because that was what I expected from him.     

I never imagined he'd basically call me a slut, right to my face. I think that hurt more than anything else he could have done. I just...I thought we were past that. I thought we were really friends. I guess I just gave him too much credit.    

Even though I was still pretty pissed about the concert, I would have let it go. All he would have had to do was apologize and he would have been forgiven. Instead, he went out of his way to hurt me, and now...I can barely stand to look at him.    

That was why I left. I just couldn't be around someone who thought so little of me.    

Naturally, the shopping didn't help one bit, so I stopped at a bar. I know, not the smartest thing to do when you're upset, but I thought having a drink might take the edge off. I just wanted to release some of the pressure I was feeling.    

After that, everything goes black. I don't have a single clue as to how or why I ended up back at Justin's, wearing one of his T-shirts, no less.    

What the hell happened last night?    

"You got puke on your clothes." He says suddenly, noticing my confusion as I look down at myself. "I swear, I didn't want to change your clothes, but you were passed out."    

"Oh...umm...thanks, I guess." I nod slowly.    

"You don't know what happened last night, do you?"    

"Not really, no."    

"Well...let's put it this way...Jace canceled your studio session today, so he could do damage control all day."    

Damage control? Uh oh.    

"You got shit faced last night, Madison. I mean, totally annihilated. You actually threw up in the front yard, all over the fuckin rose bushes." Justin chuckles and rolls his eyes. "The gardener really enjoyed cleaning that up, by the way."    

Ok, that's a good sign. If he can laugh about it, it must not have been too awful.    

"Of course, that all happened after you got arrested."    

"What?" My eyes shoot to his, and he grins stupidly.     

"Oh yeah...see for yourself."    

He flips through several channels, finally stopping on E! and immediately, I see my face splashed across the screen. They quickly cut to a fuzzy, grainy video, probably from a camera phone.     

The picture quality is terrible, but I can clearly see myself, on one of the busiest streets of L.A, lifting my shirt and flashing every car that passes.     

Oh my god. How fucking wasted was I?    

After several minutes, red and blue flashing lights come into view, and an officer climbs out of the patrol car, then heads in my direction. Even on film, it all happens so fast. The officer talks to me for several minutes, before walking around behind me, slapping a pair of handcuffs on my wrists, then guiding me into the backseat of the cruiser.     

Holy shit.     

I actually got arrested.     

"They charged you with public indecency and public intoxication. You'll prolly just have to pay some fines, so it's really not all that bad."    

"Not all that bad?" I screech. "Are you fucking retarded? I got arrested Justin! The press is eating this up!"

"It could be worse. If I hadn't bailed your ass out, you'd still be sitting in jail. Jace will handle it and in a couple day, nobody will even remember it."    

"I don't care about anybody else! Do you have any idea how embarrassing that is? I look like a drunken idiot!"    

"Well...you kind of are." He laughs quietly and the urge to slap him takes over, but suddenly...bits and pieces of last night are flashing through my mind.    

Justin paid my bail. He made sure I got out of jail without the press there to catch the whole thing on film.     

Then, oh God...I threw myself at him, and he...he shot me down. Not because he didn't want me, but because he didn't want to take advantage of me.     

Justin...Justin took care of me last night. While everyone else was busy arguing over whose fault it was, or what to do with my stupid drunk ass, Justin took care of me.     

Once again, he's made me look and feel like a complete idiot by proving just how wrong I was about him. He didn't have to do anything last night. He could have left me in jail until I sobered up, made me find my own way home, and he certainly didn't have to clean me up after I passed out.     

He may not care about me the way I want him to, but he does care. And right now, that's exactly what I need, just one person who cares about me, not my image or what the press thinks of me.     

I smile before rising to my knees and crawling across the bed to be closer to him. He looks slightly taken aback as I wrap my arms around his neck, and it takes a second before his arms slide around my waist.    

"Thank you."     

"For what?"    

"For...just for caring." My smile grows even bigger when he nods slowly and tightens his hold on me.     

"It was nothing. I knew you needed help." He shrugs. "So...I guess I'm forgiven?"    

"Yeah, something like that." I giggle and roll my eyes.    

As much as it scares me, I just might be falling in love with him.

*****************************************        

"Madison...your arrest has sparked rumors that you're back to your hard partying ways, what do you have to say to that?"    

I take a deep breath and force the best smile I can. "That's not true. I made a mistake and I do regret it, but don't plan on seeing anything like that, ever again."    

Jc nods, satisfied with my answer then turns to smile at the crowd of reporters. "We've got time for one more." He points to a young blonde woman and nods.    

"Madison, how does Justin feel about your arrest?"    

"Justin is my husband, and even when things are tough...we support each other, no matter what."    

I feel like such a massive fake, reciting the answers that were written for me by Jc and Johnny. I was perfectly capable of answering those questions on my own. I didn't need to be treated like some damn performing monkey.     

The fact of the matter is, I screwed up. I know that.     

But, I think the whole thing is getting blown way out of proportion. I mean, a press conference...seriously? It just seems a bit silly to hold a press conference for something that isn't that big of a deal.    

People get arrested everyday. They suffer the consequences and move on so, I'll pay my fines and be done with it. End of story.    

"You were really good out there."Jc smiles proudly as we head for the van, Chelsea and my security team in tow.    

"Of course I was...I had a script." I roll my eyes and Jc lets out a long sigh.     

I know he's getting frustrated with me, but I'm almost to the point where I really don't care anymore. For the last six months, I've been putting my neck on the line for everyone else, and I'm tired of it.    

Even Jc is benefiting from the messes I've landed myself in.     

Number one, my face is pretty much everywhere right now. According to the label, that's the result of good management, which led to Jace getting a pretty hefty pay raise.     

Secondly, his name is getting thrown out there, the same as mine. He's been offered numerous side projects and so far, he's turned all of them down, until last week.     

The day after Justin and I semi-patched things up, RCA offered Jace a record deal.     

He tried to play it off, like it wasn't a big deal, but I know he's seriously considering taking them up on it. Honestly, who could blame him? Sure, he's a great manager, but it's no secret that he'd rather be out performing, than following me around and doing paperwork.     

Don't get me wrong, I'm excited for him. He's an incredibly talented guy and it's almost kind of sad that he's stepped out of the limelight. But, if he does accept RCA's offer, I won't have a manager.     

I guess it's just one more thing I can add to the ever growing list of shit that's going wrong in my life.     

I know I'm only a few weeks into recording, but I just...I need a break. I need a week or two to go somewhere and just get away from all the craziness.     

If I don't do something soon, I may end up in the damn nut house.     

Luckily, the one thing that seems to be straightening itself out, is this whole Justin mess.    

Once I got over my anger about the concert and us sleeping together, we went back to normal, as if that night never happened. And, I'm ok with that.    

Pushing my feelings aside and ignoring them, has been much easier than having to rehash that night. This way, I don't have to tell him how I feel, he doesn't have to reject me, I won't get hurt, and we can stay friends.     

It's not necessarily what I want, but I can live with it.     

"So, what's next?" I ask quietly as we pull onto the freeway.     

"That was it, until the party tonight."    

The party.    

How could I have forgotten about the party?    

Justin's 27th birthday is tomorrow and apparently, every year, he goes all out for his party. According to Trace, he usually has some stupid theme, they rent out the biggest club they can find, invite hundreds of people, and spend the night drinking themselves into oblivion.     

Trace has been planning it for weeks.     

I don't even particularly want to go, but I know I have to.     

"It actually sounds kinda cool." Chelsea says suddenly, as if she was reading my mind. "Trace was telling me he scaled everything back this year. He rented out a bar, just invited close friends and family, and it's supposed to be really laid back."         

I really, really need to tell her the damn truth. It's bad enough I have to lie to my family and the rest of the world. If anyone deserves to know the truth, it's Chelsea.    

I just don't know how to tell her.         

"Oh, cool." I nod and force a smile.    

"Oh and get this!" She squeals excitedly, practically bouncing in her seat. "Justin made him hire a DJ and had a stage set up in the bar, for karaoke!"    

"Seriously?"         

What the hell? Justin hates karaoke. When we were in Chicago, we had to damn near drag him up on stage, until he started drinking.     

"Yeah, I was kinda surprised. I figured you prolly made him do it." Chelsea shrugs before she and JC start babbling about the party.    

I guess I've been rubbing off on Justin, a little more than I thought.     

In the time we've been married, I have noticed some slight changes in him and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't somewhat impressed.     

For starters, he's gotten a little more outspoken. When people tell him what to do, he has no problem voicing his opinions. Granted, he still doesn't get his way most of the time, but atleast he's attempting to stand up for himself.     

He's also taken a much more laid back approach to his image. At first, he was so anal about the way he dressed, and always made sure he said the right thing to the right people. Now, he spends most of his time in T-shirts and jeans, and he doesn't spend hours preparing speeches or rehearsing answers for interviews.     

He's taking baby steps into finally being himself. I'm actually kind of proud of him.    

Maybe one day, he'll finally have the balls to do things his way, and not worry about everyone else.

*****************************    

I weave my way through the crowd of Justin's friends and family, smiling and nodding when my name is called. If I actually wanted to be here, I'd probably be having a blast.    

The bar is set up almost like my favorite bar back home, but it isn't quite the same. That feeling of home is missing, as well as the usual crowd. But then again, this isn't for me. This is Justin's party.    

He disappeared with Trace as soon as we arrived, nearly an hour ago and I haven't seen either of them since. Several of Justin's friends have already hopped up on the small stage to butcher a few classics and the party seems to be picking up.    

I've spent the last hour hiding at a table in the corner with Chelsea. Unfortunately, that awkward feeling finally crept up on me and I know, if I don't get some type of alcohol in my system soon, I'll probably spend all night in that damn corner.     

I know maybe four of the hundred or so people here, but despite that fact, I can't spend the whole night being little miss anti-social. My husband is the birthday boy after all, and I need to keep up appearances.    

I spot Justin and Trace seated at the bar, a crowd of model-esque girls surrounding them. Clearly, these chicks didn't get the memo that this is a casual party. Every single one of them is dressed in some of the shortest skirts and dresses I've ever seen, their breasts nearly popping out of their tops.     

The word skank is practically tattooed on each of their foreheads, in big bold letters.    

When a tall brunette reaches out and rubs Justin's arm affectionately, a surge of jealousy hits me. Don't these bimbos know he's married? Sure, we aren't actually in a relationship, but there's a silver band on his finger and he is legally obligated to me.     

I know I shouldn't, but for once...I'm going to have a little fun with this marriage stuff.     

I stroll up behind Justin and slowly slide my arms around his neck. His shoulders tense and I can't help but grin. He knows he's busted. He clears his throat loudly while Trace tries to cover up his laughter.    

"Ladies, you all know Madison."     

"Oh yeah...big fan." The brunette smiles sarcastically and rolls her eyes. I give her the most sickeningly sweet smile I can manage, before returning my attention to Justin.    

"So Jus...I was just talking to Chelsea about that little problem you've been having...she said it's not that big of a deal. It happens to almost all guys, especially when they hit their 30's."    

"I'm not in my 30's." He replies through gritted teeth and I have to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. "And...I don't have any little problems."    

The four girls share a look before quickly strutting off, whispering to each other the whole way. That ought to teach them to hit on a married man.    

Trace laughs loudly and shakes his head. "Well played, Mrs. Timberlake."    

"I try." I smirk as Justin turns to face me, anger etched all over his face.    

"What the hell Madison?"    

"Oh come on, any one of those chicks would have sold you out in a heartbeat. I just saved your ass." He mutters his response incoherently before ordering another drink.    

I ease onto the barstool next to him and order my first drink of the night, hoping it will loosen me up a bit.    

It takes a couple hours before the party is in full swing, but soon enough, everyone here is good and buzzed, having a blast. When the DJ shuts off the music, a large 4-tier cake, covered with 27 candles and decorated in white and black icing is wheeled out into the center of the bar. Everyone screams the words to Happy Birthday while Justin stands there, grinning like an idiot and lapping up the attention.     

Once the cake has been cut and served, everyone returns to the bar, their seats, or dancing like drunken fools.     

Even though I didn't want to be here, it's really not as terrible as I thought it'd be. Most of the people have been fairly friendly, Justin's in a good mood and even I'm starting to have some fun.    

"Hey." Justin smiles brightly as he plops down on the stool next to me. He leans in and kisses me quickly before ordering yet another beer.     

I'm not quite sure how much he's had to drink so far, but he definitely won't be driving himself home tonight. He's got that goofy, adorable drunk thing going and I think this is the side of him I like the best.     

Too bad he can't stay drunk all the time.     

When he's like this, he's sweet and funny, and incredibly charming. He's damn near irresistible.     

Suddenly, he stands from his seat, laces his fingers through mine and tugs gently on my arm. With my free hand, I grab my drink from the bar, before sliding off my seat, allowing him to guide me through the crowd.     

He leads me into the dimly lit hallway by the bathrooms and pushes me against the wall, resting his entire body against mine.     

In the dark, I can just barely make out that crooked, cocky grin, but I know it's there.     

My knees go weak when he leans in and kisses me sweetly, before pulling back, his eyes locking with mine. He doesn't say a word as he stares at me, and it's making me just a tad nervous.    

Did he bring me back here to kill me or something? It really wouldn't surprise me. With me out of the way, he can hang around as many skanks as he wants.

He kisses me again and this time, there's a little more force behind it. We stand like that for what feels like hours, him pressed against me, my hands tangled in his short curls, and he's kissing me like no one else ever has.    

It's sweet and gentle, and if I didn't know any better...I'd swear he feels the exact same way I do.     

Unfortunately, I know that's the furthest thing from the truth. As usual, he's drunk and just looking for some affection. If I wasn't here, he'd probably be doing this same exact thing with that skanky brunette from earlier.     

He pulls away slowly and rests his forehead against mine. His eyes slide shut and he lets out a long sigh before a small smile takes over his features.         

"Madison?" His voice is so low and with the pounding music in the bar, I have to strain to hear him.    

"Hmm?" I hum out a response, still trying to get my wits about me after being kissed like that. For a minute there, I thought he was never going to stop, and I don't think I would have minded too much if he didn't.    

"I need to tell you something. And you probably won't like it." He takes a few steps back and leans against the opposite wall.    

This is it. This is the part where he's going to chop my head off. He's got a good cover, that's for damn sure. I mean, who would suspect a world renowned pop star of murder?    

He wobbles slightly before a serious expression takes over his face, and he looks me dead in the eyes.    

"I think...I think I'm in love with you."       

Madison inhales sharply and suddenly, every last bit of my buzz has faded. 

Did I really just tell her I'm in love with her?

Fuck. How much of an idiot am I?

I'm not even a hundred percent sure that's actually what I'm feeling. I mean, what if I'm wrong? What if I've just convinced myself that I feel something for her, because it's convenient?

Besides the fact that I don't know exactly how I feel, how the hell could I tell her? I know she doesn't feel the same and if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times.

We can not get involved. 

The fact that we slept together was bad enough. Getting involved with Madison, leaves me wide open to getting hurt, and I'm not so sure I could handle that. I damn near lost my mind when she packed her shit and left, and she wasn't even gone for 24 hours.

This girl could break my fucking heart, and there'd never be any way to repair it. 

"Justin...you really shouldn't say things you don't mean." She shakes her head and moves to walk away. Against my better judgement, I grab her arm and pull her back.

"How do you know I didn't mean it?"

Jesus Christ...I'm getting dumber by the second. 

I should have let her walk away, and in the morning...blow this whole thing off as me having way too much to drink. I mean, drunk people are capable of any damn thing. Alcohol is what got us into this mess in the first place. 

She narrows her eyes at me and her mouth sets into a thin line before she speaks. "Do you?"

"No...I mean...yes...fuck Madison! I don't know, ok? I don't fucking know!"
    

"Well, when you figure it out, let me know." She jerks her arm from my grasp, and this time, I let her go. 

I should have kept my big ass mouth shut. I swear, I'm never drinking again. Liquor just causes problems and makes me do stupid shit. But in a weird way, I'm almost relieved I finally said it. 

Whether or not I ever say it again, she heard it, atleast once. And, she didn't exactly run screaming in the other direction. 

If she honest to God, didn't feel the same...she would have said so. She would have blown me off, rather than get all defensive and weird, right?

She...she likes me. Madison Fox fucking likes me! Even if she won't admit it, I know I'm right. 

But...what about Jc? Obviously, my plan to get the two of them together has officially been thrown out the window, but...if anything happens, it'd kill him. Anybody can see he's crazy about her. I can't just move in on his territory....or can I?

I mean, he's had plenty of time to make a move, and he's chosen not to. That makes Madison fair game, right?

Ya know what? Screw it. This is my birthday party and I'm not gonna worry about it. I'm going to focus on the fact that Madison wants me, just as much as I want her and I'm going to have a good time tonight. And...I'll have a few celebratory drinks because, who the hell am I kidding? Me stop drinking? Yeah, sure.

So far, being 27 is looking pretty damn good.


*************************

I flip through the pages of one of Madison's notebooks, my eyes scanning the contents quickly. So far, I'm pretty proud of the five songs we've churned out, and hopefully she's got a few more good ones in one of these notebooks. 

I wasn't really expecting it, but working with her has been a breeze. Once we got past the initial awkwardness and she started to cooperate, it was like she finally realized that I know what the hell I'm doing, and she left everything in my hands. She takes direction fairly well and she's becoming more and more open to trying different things with the bass lines and melodies she originally came up with. 

She's a professional, in every sense of the word. 

It's been three days since my birthday and everything seems to be pretty normal, well.. as normal as it can get for Madison and I. 

We're still trying to pull off this being friends thing and not once, have we mentioned what happened at my party. I still haven't figured out if that's a good or bad thing. I mean, on one hand... I know we should probably sit down and talk this mess out. Deep down, I wish we would just be honest with each other, lay everything on the table. 

But, that would just be way too easy.

Then, on the other hand...I've got that nagging voice in the back of my mind, telling me to just let it go. It's just...the thought of actually being with Madison, scares the hell out of me. 

It's kind of stupid, but my biggest fear is that we'd get together, it'd blow up in our faces pretty quick, but we'd still have to finish out this marriage nonsense, and we'd be right back to the bickering, childish shit it's taken us six months to get away from. 

I don't know what the hell to do and Madison acting like everything is just peachy, definitely isn't helping. 

I know she's got a lot of other shit going on, but I kind of thought she'd want to hash this out with me. Usually, any time I piss her off, she's jumping down my throat and confronting me, but this time...nothing.

I swear, she's got to be the most confusing woman in the whole damn world. 

"What about this one?" I ask and hand her the notebook. She looks down at her own writing for several minutes before scrunching up her nose and shaking her head. 

"Oh...nah. It's kind of ballady. There's better stuff in here."

"And that is where my musical genius comes in." I grin as she rolls her eyes. "I had the band lay down the music a couple days ago. Just go in and record the vocals."

She nods slowly and heads into the booth, quickly sliding her headphones on. As soon as she's ready, I start the backing track, and immediately, a look of confusion that quickly turns to rage, sweeps over her face. She yanks her headphones off angrily before slamming them down on the stand and storming of out of the booth.

"What the fuck did you do to my song?"

Alright, maybe it was wrong to take her song and change it without asking, but I couldn't help myself. 

When I first read the lyrics for "What I've Become", I saw a lot of potential, but...the music was all wrong. Madison had written it as this dark, depressing ballad, but I thought the lyrics were better suited for a kind of up-tempo, angry vibe. So, I took Madison's original melody, and just tweaked it a bit.

I probably should have talked to her about it, but I had an idea and I just ran with it.

"I just changed it a little." I shrug lamely.

"A little?" She shrieks and throws her notebook at me. "It's not even the same God damn song anymore!"

"Come on Madison.. just sing the song, and if you don't like it, we'll do it your way."

"No. I'm not recording this." She shakes her head and plops down on the couch. "I'm so damn tired of you changing everything in my life. You've got control over everything and even my career is in your hands now. I just...I can't deal with this anymore."

I nod dumbly and focus my gaze on the floor. I don't even know what the hell to say to her. And, I can't help wondering if maybe there's a deeper meaning to everything she just said. 

I mean yeah, on the surface, it sounds like she's just bitching about the impact our marriage has had on her life, but what if there's more to it?

What if she can't handle the fact that she has the same exact feelings I do?

Falling in love isn't easy, everybody knows that. You're vulnerable and nervous, and it terrifies the shit out of you. I guess some people really just can't handle it, and Madison appears to be one of them.

Or, maybe I'm just being a selfish jackass by completely ignoring the fact that she's practically in the middle of nervous breakdown. Here I am, worrying about whether or not she has feelings for me, when she's got tons of shit being thrown at her on a daily basis. 

I'm sure the incident at my party didn't help much either.

I guess, when you get right down to it...Madison's just not as tough as she lets on. I think at one point in time she was, but maybe the events of the last several months have taken a toll on her. 

Even when I first met her, it was pretty obvious that she's a no bullshit kind type of girl. She was strong, independent, and she never had any problem telling somebody off if she wanted to. 

Now, she's afraid of damn near everything, she lets people push her around and she's completely lost her spark. I guess it's kind of my fault, because it all started when she agreed to stay married to my stupid ass.

"I'm sorry, alright? I thought I was helping. We'll do it the way you wrote it."

"No. We'll do it your way, since you're the expert." She seethes before snatching her notebook from the floor and stomping back into the booth. 

I start up the music once again, and she's off, belting out the words like there's no tomorrow.


I walk alone inside these walls and it's not easy being me
It seems like every time I escape there's another following
Being prone and, yeah they're coming
I can feel them shooting me, without asking
Lights are flashing but I guess that
It's what I've become, let me live as who I am
Never wanted nothing, but you don't let me breathe as who I am


She's glaring at me through the glass and even though she's making me slightly uncomfortable, her aggression is working for the song. It needed that anger and frustration and she's pulling it off beautifully.



There's not a pill to take to save me from this heartache
But I have no regrets I'm hoping for a better day
There's not a pill to take to save me from this heartache
But I have no regrets I'm hoping for a better day
It's what I've become, let me live as who I am
Never wanted nothing, but you don't let me breathe as who I am
It's what I've become, let me live as who I am
Never wanted nothing, but you don't let me breathe as who I am
I've just begun, I've just begun
I've just begun to find my way...
I've just begun, I've just begun
I've just begun to find my way...


I don't know why, but I've got a damn good feeling about this song. I know I pissed her off, but it was worth it because...I'm fairly certain we have the first single on our hands.

***************************

"If you wanna be with me...baby, there's a price to pay...I'm a genie in a bottle, you gotta rub me the right way." Madison and Chelsea scream the lyrics at the top of their lungs, and I can't help but roll my eyes. 

I swear to God...this girl has to be bi-polar or some shit. 

One minute, she's brooding and miserable, the next...she's goofing off with her best friend, like she doesn't have a care in the world. It's fucking twisted.

Maybe it's me, though. Maybe I bring out that dark, bitter side of her. I mean, I know I haven't always treated her the way I should have, but do I really deserve the attitude? 

Maybe she's still just pissed about my birthday. After all, I did tell the girl I'm in love with her, then turned around and said I wasn't sure if actually I meant it or not. That'd piss anybody off. 

"So Ms. Fox, you have the next two weeks off...what do you plan to do with yourself?" Chelsea asks as we pull into my driveway. 

"I dunno." Madison shrugs. "I'd like to go somewhere, but nothing really comes to mind."

I don't know how he did it, but Jace managed to clear Madison's schedule for the next two weeks. I guess the folks at RCA were pleased enough with the work we've turned in so far and they agreed to it.

Normally, I'd be completely against taking a break during recording, but I think Madison needs it. She really just needs some time away from all the craziness and bullshit. And, maybe after the next two weeks...she'll be able to get back to her old self.

And honestly, her time off is kind of a good thing for me. The Grammy's are next week, and even though I'm not performing, I'm nominated for a couple awards. So, this will give me some time to prepare a speech. I doubt I'll actually need it, but ya never know with this stuff.

I'm sure Johnny will want Madison to tag along as my date, but why should she? She was given two full weeks off. Why should she have to give that up to parade around with me and play the part of my supportive wife? It just isn't right, man.

Almost on cue, my phone rings and I can't keep my eyes from rolling when Johnny's name flashes on the screen. I already know what he wants, but I'll go ahead and humor him.

"Hey Johnny, what's up?"

"Several things, actually." I can almost hear the smirk in his voice. This can't be good. "I just spoke with Frank Moore at RCA, apparently...Maroon 5 has backed out of their Grammy performance, so there's an opening."

"I don't know man...I don't really have anything new to do...I was kind of hoping to just watch this year."

"Unfortunately Justin, that isn't really up to you. RCA offered Madison up for the open slot and I think it'd be good for the two of you to perform together. You've been in the studio for damn near three weeks. You should have something decent by now."

"We do..it's just...Madison's got this time off." I say helplessly. 

I know there isn't any way out of this. Johnny's already made up his mind and this is going to happen, whether I like it or not. 

Madison gives me a questioning look at the mention of her name, and all I can do is shrug. She's going to flip when she hears about this, and it most certainly won't be pretty. With any luck, she'll realize that I'm as against this as she is.    

"Well, she's going to have to get over that. This is a huge opportunity for the two of you. Not to mention the fact that it'll build some hype for her album."

"Johnny...come on man. There's no telling when the album will be done. She's been busting her ass and she deserves that time off."    

I probably sound like I'm whining, but I really don't give a shit. This is just flat out, not fucking fair.     

"The decisions been made, Justin. I suggest you two find the right song, and get to work. Rehearsals start Monday." The line goes dead and I can feel my anger quickly taking over.    

I don't think this shit is ever going to end. Until Madison and I get out of this marriage nonsense, we're going to have to do exactly as we're told, and it's complete bullshit. I mean, do they not understand that we're human beings? We have lives outside of work, why can't they see that?    

It just doesn't make any damn sense.    

"Thanks for trying." Madison smiles sadly at me as we head inside the house.    

"Yeah...sorry." I shrug lamely. "You deserve that time off, ya know."

"Yeah, but hey...we gotta do what we gotta do. So, what is it this time? Some lame party? God awful movie premiere?"    

"Grammy performance."     

Madison winces and rolls her eyes, and suddenly...I wish I would have told Johnny to go straight to hell.     

"We have to come up with the song, too." I mutter and roll my eyes.     

"You should do something fast, ya know? Just go out there and have fun." Chelsea shrugs.    

"True...but I don't want to do something from the album." Madison scrunches up her nose and shakes her head. "That stuff just isn't ready yet."    

"You know what you could do..." Jc trails off, and I can just see the wheels turning in his head. "You've still got Stevie Nicks's number, right?"    

"Duh." Madison giggles and rolls her eyes. "You think I'd be stupid enough to throw that away?"    

"Sometimes, I'm not so sure about you." He chuckles softly. "Anyway... she wants to work with you. You're slightly obsessed with Fleetwood Mac. Call her up and see if y'all can put something together."    

"Oh my God...we could do The Chain!" She squeals and slaps my arm. "Can you even freaking imagine that? Us with Fleetwood Mac? Oh my God!" In an instant, she's running up the stairs at full speed.     

That thought hadn't even crossed my mind. I just figured we'd do what Johnny said, go out there just the two of us, and do something from the album. Unfortunately, it may still come to that. I mean, how do we even know Fleetwood Mac would be available for something like this?    

We've got three days before rehearsals start, that doesn't give us much time to put something together and I've never even heard the song she's talking about.     

With my luck, this whole thing will work out exactly the way Madison wants, and come Grammy night...I'll be on stage stumbling through a song I don't know, looking like a complete jackass.     

Granted, it's not like that's anything new for me. Madison always manages to make me look like a damn fool.

****************************    

Believe it or not, I don't always enjoy being right. I mean, most of the time it's pretty satisfying, especially when you're trying to prove a point, but there's times where it just plain old sucks.    

Jc's idea for Madison and I to perform with Fleetwood Mac at the Grammy's was actually pretty great. Madison totally lit up when he said it, and for the first time since her arrest, she seemed genuinely happy.     

Unfortunately, I had this sinking feeling that it wouldn't work. Because it was such short notice, the band wasn't able to clear their schedule and had to shoot us down.    

Naturally, Madison was heartbroken. She started getting her hopes up the second the words left Jc's mouth and those hopes pretty much got shot to hell.     

For once, I really wish I would have been wrong.     

So, here we are, two days before rehearsals start, and we still haven't got a clue what we're doing. Madison refuses to do any of her new stuff and she's kind of iffy on doing any of her old stuff. I swear, I never should have agreed to let her pick the song.    

I glance down at the paper in front of me and let out a loud sigh. I haven't written anything in quite some time, and for some reason...this melody kept playing over and over in my head, and refused to go away.     

I started thinking about Madison and the last six months, and the words just kind of started flowing. I mean, it might be the corniest thing I've ever written and I can't ever see myself recording it, but...it might actually work for Madison.

I don't know if I can yell any louder,
How many times have I kicked you outta here?
Or said something insulting?I can be so mean when I wanna be,
I am capable of really anything,
I could cut you into pieces,
When my heart is, broken.
    

Yeah, Madison could definitely sing this.     

I hand her the sheet of paper and she glances over it quickly before giving me a questioning look.     

"I'll play. You sing." I mumble before taking my place at the piano. She nods and slides onto the bench beside me, clutching the paper in her hands.

I don't know if I can yell any louder,
How many times have I kicked you outta here?
Or said something insulting?
I can be so mean when I wanna be,
I am capable of really anything,
I could cut you into pieces,
When my heart is, broken.

Please don't leave me Please don't leave me
I always say how I don't need you
But its always gonna come right back to this
Please don't leave me

How did I become so obnoxious,
What is it with you that makes me act like this,
I've never been this nasty,
Cant you tell that this is all just a contest,
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest,
But baby I don't mean it,
I mean it, I promise

Please don't leave me Please don't leave me
I always say how I don't need you
But its always gonna come right back to this
Please don't leave me

I forgot to say out loud,
How beautiful you really are to me,
I cant be without,
My perfect little punching bag,
And I need you,
I'm sorry.

Please, please don't leave me
Baby please don't leave mePlease don't leave me
I always say how I don't need you
But its always gonna come right back to this
Please don't leave me

I always say how I don't need you,
But its always gonna come right back to this,
Please don't leave me,

Please, Please don't leave me.
    

As much as I hate to admit it, when she finishes the song, I have to fight back tears.     

I love this girl. There's no other way around it. I am head over heels in love with her, and she thinks I'm absolute shit, and it kills me.     

This song may not say exactly how I feel about her, but it's pretty fucking close, and she hasn't got a clue. She has no idea that the words she just belted out, are all about her.    

She couldn't even begin to imagine the way my heart skips a beat when I'm around her, or how badly I wish I could make all of the bullshit around her go away, just to see her happy again.    

"Justin, this is beautiful." She nods slowly, a wide grin spreading across her face. "Do you want me to record this or something?"    

"Yeah...I do." I smile sadly, still trying to keep those damn tears from falling.    

"Thank you...this is great." She nods once again. "We could do this at the Grammy's. Just like this...you play, and I'll sing."    

"Yeah...that's perfect."     

She stands up from her seat and heads up the stairs, singing softly to herself and I hang my head.     

I can't do this anymore.     

I can't ignore the way I feel, and I can't keep letting her pretend there isn't something more than a forced friendship going on here. She can keep denying it all she wants, but I can't.    

I have to be with her, or I have to push her out of my life. Unfortunately, none of that's up to me.

"What I've Become"-Ashlee Simpson

"Genie In A Bottle"-Christina Aguilera

"Please Don't Leave Me"-Pink

I've decided that I really don't like Johnny Wright.    

I know, I know...I barely know the man, but I think I'm perfectly justified in my dislike for him.     

If it wasn't for Mr. Wright, I'd still be living a fairly normal, single life. He's the reason my face is  on the cover of every magazine known to man. And...thanks to him, I've lost my two weeks off.    

I mean, on one hand, getting to perform at the Grammy's is pretty damn cool, especially since it's something I've never done before. However, because I agreed to perform, RCA decided they wanted me to go ahead and record the song right away.     

Why it couldn't wait is beyond me, but whatever.     

Naturally, I couldn't go in and do just one song. Justin and I recorded three other songs bringing us to a grand total of nine, so far.     

Unfortunately for me, Justin seems to think we're on a roll and wants to keep going. Really, I just want to go home. Everything has been go, go, go the last couple weeks and it's given me absolutely no time to think, which is something I desperately need to do.    

I still haven't been able to wrap my head around Justin and his "I love you" nonsense.     

Number one, he was drunk out of his mind when he said it, and then...he actually had the balls to say he wasn't even sure he meant it.     

Who the hell does that?    

I mean, how do you look at someone, tell them you love them, then turn around and say you don't know if you meant it or not?    

Maybe I'm just naive about this stuff because I can't honestly say I've ever been in love. Sure, there's been a few serious boyfriends and some pretty intense feelings, but I wouldn't call any of it love.     

I never felt like I'd die without them. I never wanted to spend every waking moment with them. I never wanted to do whatever I could to make them smile. I never saw myself walking down the aisle with any of them.    

But then again... since I've never been in love, how do I even really know what love is? I've created my own definition of it, but what if I'm wrong?    

To me, love is finding that one person you can be yourself around, the person who can make you smile, no matter how shitty everything around you is. You get butterflies every time you see them and just the sound of their name can make you smile for days. You can trust them completely, and they make you feel safe. They just...make you feel good.     

That's my idea of love. But, what if it's just my own twisted little version? What if it means something completely different to other people?    

See, this is my problem. I start thinking and I just end up even more confused than I already was.     

All I know is, Justin makes me feel almost every single one of those things. But...I don't trust him. Honestly, how could I?    

How could I possibly trust someone who's treated me the way he has? How can I trust someone who can't even tell me how he feels?    

Granted, I'm not exactly spilling my guts either, but I'm perfectly content keeping my feelings to myself, rather than say those words and not be sure if I mean them.     

I just don't know what to do. So, I've done the only thing I can think of...I've been ignoring it.  Which, might actually be better for me in the long run.     

I think I need to straighten myself out before I can even think about delving into this Justin mess. I just...I feel like the entire world is coming down on my head. It's one shitty thing after another and I honestly don't know how much more of it I can take.    

Every night, I come home from the studio and all I want to do is curl up in a little ball and cry like a two year old. No matter what I do, nothing seems to go right and I don't understand why.     

I've always considered myself to be fairly strong, but lately... I'm this weak, pathetic creature and I can't stand it.     

Maybe I'm just not the person I thought I was. Or maybe, this whole thing with Justin has gotten to me so much, that every little thing seems ten times worse than it actually is.     

I don't know what the hell my problem is, but I need to turn myself around. I need to go back to not taking any shit and being myself.     

I need to....I just don't know how.    

"Damn...this is amazing!" Justin shouts excitedly from his spot on the couch.     

He's been flipping through another one of my notebooks for the past hour and God only knows what he's found now.     

"We're doing this." He grins and passes me the book. I look down at my own writing and swallow hard.    

Shit.     

Of all the songs in these notebooks, why does he have to pick the one about him?    

I mean, since we've been married, I've done a lot of writing and he's inspired a good bit of it, but this one... this one is special. It puts all of my feelings for him on display and I swore to myself, this song would never see the light of day.     

As shitty as my luck's been lately...I should have seen this coming.     

Seriously...what did I do to piss off the guy upstairs so much? I mean, couldn't he just send me to hell, wouldn't that be easier?    

"Justin, no. This one's...it's private."    

"Come on, Madison. That song is fantastic and you know it."    

"It really isn't all that great." I mumble and shrug lamely. "There's a ton of others. Just pick something else."    

"Nope."

"Justin, please." I'm flat out begging him now, and I don't even care how stupid I look or sound.     

I can't sing this in front of him. He'll see right through me and I can't let that happen.    

"We aren't leaving until you record this. I'm calling the band now." He smirks before pulling his phone out.    

He can be such a bastard when he wants to be. But, I'm not backing down. The fact that he read the lyrics is bad enough.    

Ya know, that's one of many things I can't stand about him. He refuses to hear the word no. No matter how many times you say it, or how much you protest... he just doesn't fucking listen.     

Unfortunately, all he has to do is smile, and I know I'll cave.     

I really, really hate him for that.     

"They'll be here in 20." He grins before moving to set up his equipment. "Seriously Madison...I get that it's personal or whatever, but you gotta just let that go. Most songs are private to whoever wrote them, but you can't let that stop you. I'm telling you...this is going to be incredible." He smiles sweetly at me, and all I can do is nod.    

See? Works every damn time!    

I hope he's happy, because after this, there'll be no hiding the way I feel about him and God only knows what that will lead to.

**********************
    

"Screw it... just wear your pajamas." Chelsea shrugs as she continues to rummage through my closet, and I can't help but laugh at her.     

"Yeah, that'd go over real well."    

Chelsea is the epitome of casual. Honestly, the only time I remember ever seeing her get dressed up is for Halloween, and even then she avoids dresses or skirts as much as possible. She lives in jeans and T-shirts. I mean, I usually do too, but I know when I have to look nice and I try my best to do so.     

Chels just doesn't get the whole formal event thing, and really...she can't be blamed. Sure, she's been my best friend forever and she's seen me deal with it, but this lifestyle is all new to her, and it definitely takes some getting used to. She'll be alright though. Chelsea can handle just about anything you throw at her.    

"Well, it's stupid. Why can't you perform in what you wear?"    

"You just can't." I giggle and roll my eyes. "Come on.. we're going shopping. My clothes suck."    

"Oh yeah Maddie... they're all hideous. That's why a million little girls do everything they can to look like you." I smile stupidly as Chelsea keeps rambling.        

I know it's corny, but I love hearing stuff like that. Granted, I didn't set out to be a role model or anything, but it's pretty cool. Knowing that all these little girls look up to you is an awesome feeling, and hearing that they dress like me is hilarious.    

I mean, I'm not some fashion icon or anything. My wardrobe consists of mostly faded, ripped jeans that I've had for God knows how long, and my various collection of old band T-shirts and hoodies. It really isn't anything special, or all that out of the ordinary. I just wear what I like and what makes me comfortable.     

It's cool that other people feel the same way, but at the same time, it's kind of strange to see a bunch of little girls running around in ripped jeans, trying to imitate me.    

I guess it just comes with the territory.     

Chelsea continues to babble about the absurdity of award shows as we head out of my room and down the steps, but stops suddenly when we hear voices coming from the living room.    

"So, I played it off like yeah, I'm a happily married man, blah, blah, blah, but I was thinking like damn...the shit I could do this girl, ya know?"    

"What the fuck?" Chelsea whispers angrily. "You haven't even been married a year and he already wants to cheat?"    

I roll my eyes and head for the door, but freeze when Trace's voice seems to echo throughout the house.    

"Yeah, but it's not like you're really married, so fuck it. I say, do what you want man. You know Johnny can spin shit into gold. You're covered for whatever as far as I'm concerned."    

Chelsea lets out a loud gasp and suddenly, I feel like somebody just slapped me in the face.     

I swear...as soon as I figured out what to say, I was going to tell her the truth. I was going to tell her everything that happened in Vegas, and how the last six months have been a complete sham. I was even going to tell her about Beth.     

Chelsea's my best friend and I hate lying to her. I know she'd never tell a soul about this and I know she'd be supportive.     

But, it wasn't supposed to happen like this. She wasn't supposed to overhear some stupid conversation between Justin and Trace. I was supposed to sit her down and tell her everything.     

Now, I won't get that chance, thanks to big mouth and his shrimpy ass friend.     

"Madison... what the hell are they talking about?" Chelsea is still standing in the middle of the large marble staircase when I turn around to face her, and I can't ignore the fire in her eyes.    

She's downright livid, and she has every right to be. If our roles were reversed, I'd be ready to rip every damn hair out of her head.     

"It's not what you think Chels...I swear."

"You sure about that? Because it sounds like there's some twisted shit going on around here, and I'm the only one who doesn't know the fucking truth!"    

She's practically screaming at me and of course, she's got dumb and dumber's full attention now. The two of them are standing in the doorway, looking back and forth between the two of us, like they're watching a tennis match.     

"Look...I..."    

"Don't give me some lame ass excuse Madison... I want the truth." She demands.    

"Something wrong?" Justin feigns innocence as he looks up at her and moves to stand beside me, wrapping a protective arm around my shoulder.     

"Are you two married or not?" Chelsea asks, her intense stare focused on me, like Justin and Trace aren't even here.    

"We're married....but we aren't together." I mutter and shrug Justin's arm off quickly.     

"Care to elaborate?"
    

"Chels...I wanted to tell you, I really did. I just.... I didn't know how." I swallow the lump that's formed in my throat and try my best to look her in the eyes. "We were...we'd been drinking in Vegas when I finished the album and... and we got married. Johnny didn't want to ruin Justin's reputation, so he... he decided we should stay married."    

"And you couldn't tell me this because?"    

"Because we're under a contract." I mumble pathetically.    

"Who else knows?"    

"Trace... Jc... Beth...."    

"Beth?" She laughs bitterly and rolls her eyes. "You've got to be fucking joking. You told that bitch before you told your best friend? What the hell is wrong with you Madison? She's the one who sold you out. I told you a thousand times not to trust her, but you never listened."    

"I didn't tell her Chelsea...she was there. She talked us into it."    

"You know what? It doesn't matter. You need to do some serious self-evaluating Madison, because this fame shit is really getting to your head. " She shrugs before stomping down the stairs and straight out the front door, slamming it behind her.     

She left. She actually left.     

In over 15 years of friendship, Chelsea and I have never walked away from a fight still mad at each other...until now. And, it's all Justin's fault.    

Granted, he had no idea we were in the hallway, but he knew Chelsea was here...he should have known better than to go shooting his mouth off about some skank he wants to sleep with.     

He is slowly but surely ruining every damn thing in my life.     

Not to mention the fact that, this proves he was lying through his fucking teeth when he said he loved me. If he's so in love with me... why is he thinking about other women?    

I may have feelings for him, but I really, really hate him.     

"Happy now?" I ask through clenched teeth as I turn to look at Justin.     

"What? You think this is my fault?" He chuckles and rolls his eyes. "Hey... I'm not the one who lied to their best friend. This is all on you sweetheart."    

"Oh don't even! If it wasn't for you, none of this ever would have happened! I'm so tired of everything in my life getting fucked up because of you!"    

"Madison... come on, this isn't my fault." Justin sighs helplessly and turns to Trace. "Tell her this isn't my fault."    

"I uhh...I gotta...I gotta do...something." Trace mutters before darting down the hallway and disappearing into the house.     

"See? It is your fault! If you weren't running your mouth about some bimbo, my best friend wouldn't hate me!"    

I can feel the tears building up and it's taking all I have to keep them at bay. Having my best friend mad at me is bad enough, but I can't stop Justin's words from running through my mind.    

When he went out with Trace last night, I knew there'd be women throwing themselves at him, and yeah...I got a little jealous. But, I had this idea that he loved me and wouldn't do anything about it. And technically, he didn't... but he wanted to, and that's just as bad.    

I don't understand how he could say those things to me, but he's still chasing after other women.    

See...this is exactly why I can't get involved with him. I'd never be enough, and who knows how long he'd keep me around.  There will always be those girls in clubs and bars, dying to get a piece of him, and apparently... he'd be more than happy to give it to them.     

I can't be with someone like that.    

"Look, I'm sorry, alright? I didn't know you could hear us."    

"Ya know what... you have to apologize way too much, and I don't think you even mean it. They're just words to you. It doesn't mean a God damn thing, and I'm sick of hearing it."    

"Don't tell me what I mean or don't mean, and don't treat me like I'm a fucking moron!" He's yelling almost as loud as I am now, and I've got a bad feeling this is going to get pretty ugly before we resolve anything.    

"Ok...you tell me how to treat you then. Because only a moron would tell someone they love them, then act like this."    

"I knew it! I so fucking knew it!" He laughs quietly and shakes his head. "I knew you were all hung up on that shit. Madison... you're the one who blew it off. You're the one who acted like it never happened."    

"What was I supposed to do? You were drunk!"    

"So? That doesn't mean anything. I'll tell you exactly what our problem is. You feel the same way, and you can't handle it."
    

"Oh please." I can't help but roll my eyes and laugh at him.    

He is so full of himself, it's almost comical. I mean seriously, who the hell does he think he is?    

"Just admit it, Madison. You'll feel better." That cocky smirk I'm so used to seeing appears on his face, and I'd love nothing more than to slap him into next week.    

How is it possible that one man can be so incredibly infuriating?    

"Someone really should deflate your ego. I mean seriously, Justin... your head might not fit through the door anymore."    

"Come on Maddie..." He trails off, grinning like a damned idiot.     

"No." I head up the steps to my room, and Justin is on my heels, demanding to hear those three little words.     

Unfortunately for him, he's fighting a losing battle.     

I don't love him.    

I can't.    

I don't think I'd even know how.    

"Please, Madison? Just say it."    

When we reach the top of the stairs, I whirl around to face him and roll my eyes. Why can't he just take the hint and leave me the hell alone?    

"Justin... I do not love you, because it's impossible to love someone who makes you want to vomit." I walk into my room, slamming the door behind me and leaving him on the stairs, his mouth hanging wide open.    

I don't love him. I swear, I don't. I can't, and I won't let myself.

I shove my hands into my pockets and begin pacing the floor. I really don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I never get nervous before I perform.    

Usually, hitting the stage is kind of liberating for me. Up there, I can damn near bare my soul to the world, and nobody will judge me for it. Honestly, the only time I can ever really be myself is on stage.    

But, tonight is different.    

Tonight, I'll be up there with a woman who means the world to me, while she belts out the words that say exactly how I feel about her, and she doesn't have a clue.     

The last few days have been...interesting, to say the least. Madison and Chelsea are barely speaking, Jc is oblivious to everything around him, Trace refuses to even come in the house and Madison spends all hours of the day, locked in her room.    

I guess disastrous would be a good description of all the crap going on right now.    

What I did was stupid, I won't deny that but, I didn't do anything wrong. Yes, legally I am obligated to Madison, but we have no claim on each other. Why don't I have the right to be interested in other women?        

Madison has made it perfectly clear that she doesn't want me, so exactly what the hell am I supposed to do?     

Besides, it's not like I did anything with that girl the other night. She offered to buy me a drink, I accepted. She invited me back to her place, I flashed my wedding band and shot her down, even though I desperately wanted to see what she had in store for me.    

I did the right thing, but I'm still being punished for it. What kind of shit is that?    

If Madison could just accept the fact that she has feelings for me, and own up to it... we'd have no problems at all.     

"Five minutes, J. Madison's on her way." Trace says as he appears in front of me and tosses me a bottle of water. "You alright man?"    

"Yeah, just nervous." I shrug and try to calm my shaking hands.    

"It'll be fine man. The song's good... you guys sound amazing together. There's nothing to worry about."    

"Yeah... right." I nod and force the most enthusiastic smile I can manage.    

Finally,I spot Jc headed toward us, Chelsea and Madison trailing behind him. Madison looks...well, she looks more like herself than she did in the long red gown she had on before.    

Her black pinstripe pants hug her hips just right and her white blouse and black vest are just tight enough to show off her curves. Her hair is still hanging loosely around her shoulders. She looks pretty damn good, if I'm being honest.    

"Alright... you all ready?"    

"Yeah." I nod slowly. I'm ready for this, right?     

The stage manager appears out of nowhere before leading us to our marks on the stage, me seated at the piano, Madison standing at the microphone.    

I'm a little nervous about doing this song for numerous reasons, the main one being that I had a hard time keeping it together when we recorded it, I'm not so sure I can get through a live performance without breaking down.    

Secondly, what we're doing tonight is completely different from the version we recorded. The studio version has a pretty good bass line and is kind of mid-tempo, but when we were rehearsing, I came up with a much slower arrangement.    

We won't have the whole backing band. It's just Madison and I out here, and that's probably more nerve wracking than anything else.    

Madison wiggles around a bit and shakes her head as our names are announced. As soon as the lights come up, I begin the intro and Madison smiles out at the crowd in front of her. The girl definitely has stage presence, I'll give her that.    

Her voice kind of glides over the words and the crowd is completely focused on her and her voice.     

I guess I never really took the time to think about it, but this is a big deal for her. She's never been up on this stage, never been nominated for a Grammy. This is a milestone in her career, and I'm really glad I'm here to share it with her.    

Even if she isn't speaking to me.     

She pulls her mic off of the stand and struts over toward me before plopping down next to me, and looking me dead in the eyes. I swallow hard as she starts to sing the next line, a hint of sadness in her voice.

I forgot to say out loud
How beautiful you really are to me
I cant be without
Your my perfect little punching bag
And I need you
I'm sorry
    

She stands from her seat and returns to her original spot in the middle of the stage. I don't know what the hell that was, but I know it meant something. I know she did that for a reason, I'm just not quite sure what that reason was.    

I play the last several notes of the song before rising from my seat, wiping the tears from my eyes and moving to stand beside Madison. She turns to look at me with tears in her eyes, and before I know it, her lips are planted firmly on mine.     

The crowd erupts into cheers and applause, but the only thing I can focus on, is her. The way she smells, the way she tastes, the way her mouth fits against mine perfectly.    

How the hell can she ignore this?

***********************    

I can officially say that this has been the most boring Grammy experience of my career. Sure, mine and Madison's performance went over great and I couldn't even begin to tell you how many people came up to congratulate us, but...I didn't win anything, Madison, Chelsea, Jc, Trace and myself have spent the evening putting up the front of being a happy little family unit, and we aren't even going to a single after-party.    

Naturally, our ride home was nice and awkward. When we dropped Chelsea off at Madison's old apartment, she didn't say a word to anyone as she climbed out of the limo. Jace offered up a quick goodbye before he hurried into his house. Trace booked it to the guest house as soon as we got home, and Madison went straight to her room, which left me to sit around and mope by myself.     

So, I grabbed a bottle of jack and planted my ass in front of the TV. I didn't even bother to change out of my suit because, changing would mean going up stairs. I know, if I set one foot on the second floor of this house, I'll be tempted to go in and talk to Madison, and I'm not so sure I'm ready for that quite yet.    

I don't even know what to say to her.    

I know she feels the same, and I tried to get her to admit it. Granted, I probably didn't go about it the best way, but I thought if I made it seem like it wasn't a big deal, she'd be more comfortable. I thought if I made a joke out of it, she'd put her guard down and be honest with me. I didn't want to turn it into some big dramatic thing.    

Madison is the only woman who's ever gotten in my head like this. I can't make sense of my own thoughts and I never know what the hell to do. She makes me a confused, nervous wreck and I love every minute of it.    

I love the affect she has on me. I love the fact that she's made me realize how fucked up my life was. I love that she's shown me I can play by my own rules, and I don't have to be another industry puppet. Despite all of the stupid shit, she's made me a better person.    

I hear Madison's bedroom door open and shut, and she appears in the living room several minutes later, dressed in over-sized sweatpants and a tank top, her guitar in hand. She plops down in the chair across the room and rests the guitar on her knee.    

"I just wrote a song." She says quietly before her eyes meet mine. "And, I want you to hear it before anybody else does because....it's about you."    

"Madison..I really don't need to hear a song about how sick I make you."    

"It's not like that." She chuckles and rolls her eyes. "Mannequin's about you too, ya know."    

I nod slowly as the other day plays through my mind like a movie. She practically begged me not to make her do that song, and I made her anyway.     

Maybe part of our problem is the fact that I just don't listen to her. She told me that song was private, but I just kept pushing.     

I can still hear her growling out those words, and it never occurred to me that it could have been about me.

How do I get
Closer to you
When you keep
It all on mute
How will I know
The right way
To love you
Usually the queen
Of figuring out
Breaking down a man
Is no work out
But I have no clue
How to get
Through to you
I wanna hit you
Just to see
If you cry
I keep knocking on wood
Hoping there's
A real boy inside    

Any idiot could see that, that song is about me. I really need to learn to pay more attention to details.    

"Anyway...I just...I kept thinking about the other day and everything you said, and I just had all these feelings I needed to get out, so I wrote it down." She shrugs, an awkward smile playing at her lips.    

She begins to play softly before her rich voice echoes throughout the house.

I'm strong
But I break
I'm stubborn
And I make plenty of mistakes
Yeah I'm hard
And life with me is never easy
To figure out, to love
I'm jaded but oh so lovely
All you have to do is hold me
And you'll know and you'll see just how sweet it can be
If you'll trust me, love me, let me
Maybe, maybe    

I listen carefully to the words, and I can't help but smile. The melody is haunting, but the words are a little amusing.    

Madison has described herself to a T, and the fact that she's playing this for me now, shows that strength I saw in her when we first met.

Someday
When we're at the same place
When we're on the same road
When it's OK to hold my hand
Without feeling lost
Without all the excuses
When it's just because you love me, you let me, you need me
Then maybe, maybe
All you have to do is hold me
And you'll know and you'll see just how sweet it can be
If you'll trust me, love me, let me
Maybe, maybe    

The girl sitting here, singing her heart out, is the real Madison, and with a little luck... that guarded, bitter, broken woman she was becoming is long gone.    

I know people don't change over night, but maybe... maybe writing this song has put Madison on the right track again.

I'm confusing as hell
I'm north and south
And I'll probably never have it all figured out
But what I know is I wasn't meant to walk this world without you
And I promise I'll try
Yeah I'm gonna try to give you every little part of me
Every single detail you missed with your eyes
Then maybe
Maybe, yeah maybe

One day
We'll meet again and you'll need me, you'll see me completely
Every little bit
Oh yeah maybe you'll love me, you'll love me then

I don't want to be tough
And I don't want to be proud
I don't need to be fixed and I certainly don't need to be found
I'm not lost
I need to be loved
I just need to be loved
I just want to be loved by you and I won't stop 'cause I believe
That maybe, yeah maybe
Maybe, yeah maybe

I should know better than to touch the fire twice
But I'm thinking maybe, yeah maybe you're mine

Maybe, love maybe
    

She finishes the song and quickly wipes away the tears that are streaming down her face.     

I honestly don't even know what to say to her. That song was just...wow.    

I can feel tears welling up in my eyes and it's taking all I have to fight them off. I knew she felt the same, but I had no idea it was to that extent. I just... I'm speechless. Completely and utterly speechless.     

"I'm gonna record it." She nods. "But, I wanted you to hear it first."    

"Th..thanks. That was..Madison, that was incredible."    

"Yeah well." She shrugs.    

"I'll be honest... I really don't know what to say or do right now."    

She smiles sadly and nods once again. "You don't have to do anything Justin. I called and talked to Johnny. In the morning, I'm filing for divorce."    

What the hell?    

Has she lost her fucking mind?     

She just said everything I've been waiting to hear, and she thinks I'm going to just let her walk away? She has to be friggen nuts.    

"What? Madison...no."    

"You're not going to change my mind Justin. I've.. I've just had enough. You said yourself that something needed to change and you were right. We can't keep doing this. Even Johnny thinks we're in the clear as far as your reputation goes, so you'll be fine. We'll all be better off this way."    

"Madison, please... don't do this."    

"I made up my mind and I'm not changing it."        

"How can you do this? How the hell can you basically tell me you feel everything I do, and walk away like this?" I'm starting to get angry, but I really can't help it.    

She can't do this. She just...can't.    

"We don't belong together Justin. It wouldn't ever work and we both know that. Don't make it harder than it has to be."    

"It doesn't have to be anything! Stay and we'll figure all the other stuff out later."    

"Justin...don't. Just...don't." She shakes her head as a whole new wave of tears begin to fall. "I'm leaving tomorrow." She sighs before rising to her feet and making her way back up the stairs.    

As pathetic as it sounds, I can't stop the tears from falling now.    

I was right. The old Madison is back full force, and she's done cooperating. She's had enough and has no problem letting the world know it.    

I just don't understand how she can do this. Now that she's finally admitted her feelings, we can straighten this out and be together. Why can't she see that? Why does she have to be so God damn stubborn?    

Suddenly, it hits me. I can't believe I never saw it before. It's been staring me straight in the face all along, and I was just too stupid to see it.    

Since we met, people have constantly tried to point out just how different we are. She's from the city, I'm a country boy, blah, blah, blah. But, that's not it at all.    

We're both stubborn and self centered. We've both been under the microscope for far too long. I could go on for days here, the similarities are endless.    

We're exactly alike.    

And that's been the problem from day one.

*********************    

I sit in silence as I watch Jc, Trace, Chelsea and Madison haul boxes outside to their waiting cars.     

I didn't sleep at all last night, mostly because I could hear Madison in her room, packing. I'm pretty sure she stopped and cried for awhile, but she went right back to packing.    

Maybe at some point, I should have gone in there. Maybe I should have tried to stop her, but what's the point?    

She's made up her mind, and she isn't changing it. She's leaving and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it.     

I just don't understand how she could sing that song to me, then turn around and leave. It doesn't make any fucking sense. She wants to be with me, I know she does. I don't know why she keeps fighting this.    

I know things between us haven't exactly been good, but deep down, I know we could be happy. But, it looks like what I think and feel doesn't matter to her.    

She doesn't want me...fine. I'll give her exactly what she wants, but one day.. she's going to wake up and realize how wrong she was. She's going to see, she should have stayed here and been with me.    

And, when that day comes... it just might be too late.     

Getting pissed off probably isn't the best way to go about this, but it's making me feel better. If I can be mad at her, maybe I won't miss her.     

"That's the last of it, right?" Trace asks as he re-enters the house and passes Jc in the hallway.    

"Yeah man. We just need to haul it all over to the apartment."    

Trace walks into the living room and plops down next to me on the couch before letting out a long sigh.     

I know he's dying to ask me what I think about this, but knowing Trace... he won't be the first to bring it up, unless I start acting like a real jackass. Which, based on my track record... shouldn't be very long at all.    

I should probably humor him and just spill my guts, but I'll just end up looking like a pansy and I think I need some liquor in my system before I let that happen.     

"You wanna go out tonight?" I ask suddenly.     

Tonight, I just want to get the hell out of this house. It reminds me too much of her, and I don't want to sit around pouting like some lame ass, broken hearted guy. I'm going to show her that I'll be just fine without her.     

"Yeah man, if you want to." Trace shrugs.     

"Alright, we're out of here." Jc says as he grabs his keys and heads for the door. Madison walks into the living room to grab her purse and gives me a sad smile.    

"I guess I'll be seeing you around?"    

"Don't hold your breath sweetheart." I mutter and roll my eyes.    

"Justin, come on... don't act like that. We can stay friends, ya know."    

"Oh yeah... right. Because us being friends has worked out great so far." I smile sarcastically at her and roll my eyes again.    

I just want her to leave. I want her to get the hell out of here so I don't have to sit and think about the fact that she doesn't want me.     

I don't even know how to feel right now. Everything is just... numb.     

I'd kill for this girl, and she doesn't give a shit. I'd love her like nobody else ever has, and she couldn't care less. I put myself out there for her, and she shot me down.     

How can she expect me to be nice to her?    

"Alright well... bye." She nods before following Jc out of the house.     

As soon as the door shuts behind her, I close my eyes and sigh. Maybe this is just some horrible nightmare that I'm about to wake up from. Maybe, when I open my eyes, she'll be sitting across from me, playing her guitar and laughing.     

I open my eyes again and frown. So much for that idea.    

I stand up and make my way to the door, just in time to see her black BMW pull out of the driveway, and fly down the street.    

Maybe... maybe she'll come back. Maybe, by the time she gets to the end of the street, she'll realize that she belongs here with me, and she'll come back.     

I know it's not going to happen, but hey...a guy can dream, right?     

I press my back against the door and slide down to the floor before resting my head in my hands. She's gone. She's really gone.    

There won't be any ridiculous arrest to bring her back to me this time. She isn't going to change her mind. Her friends aren't going to talk her out of this.    

She's had enough of me and my bullshit, and she's gone. Nothing I do or say is going to change that.     

At that realization, the tears start to fall, and I can't hold them back. For the first time in my life, I'm actually sobbing, and the more I think about the fact that I couldn't stop her... the worse I feel.     

She's gone, and it's my fault.

***********************************    

"Hey folks, John Norris here with an MTV News brief. A statement was released this morning, confirming the rumors that Madison Fox has filed for divorce from husband of six months, Justin Timberlake. Their marriage came as a shock when the two wed in Las Vegas, in late August.  The announcement comes just days after the two wowed the crowd at the Grammy's, performing a track from Fox's upcoming third album. Neither Fox nor Timberlake could be reached for comment, but reps for both say they plan to handle the divorce as privately as possible. We'll have more information as details become available. Be sure to stay tuned for MTV News at ten to the hour, every hour."

"Please Don't Leave Me"- Pink

"Mannequin"-Katy Perry

"Maybe"-Kelly Clarkson

"E! wants an interview about the divorce." Chelsea rolls her eyes as she sorts through the stack of paper in front of her.    

"Tell them no." I state simply. "I'm not talking to anyone."    

"Yeah... that seems to be a habit of yours." I bite my tongue before I respond and nod slowly.    

I deserve that. I know I do, but that doesn't make it sting any less.      

Chelsea is my best friend and I really need her through all of this. I know,  I should have told her the truth, but I just didn't know how. I mean, how do you tell someone you've been forced into lying to the entire world, and you don't have a way out of it?    

Unfortunately, I know Chelsea won't be getting over this anytime soon. It takes a lot to piss her off, but once you do... you're in for some major shit. She isn't the type to hold back her anger. She says exactly what's on her mind and she really doesn't care if you like it or not.    

It's been almost a week since I filed for divorce and things seem to be getting worse on a daily basis. I thought leaving Justin would clear the air a bit. I thought once I was back in my own home, I'd start to feel like myself again, but no such luck.     

I've spent a week holed up in my room, crying and sleeping. Chelsea comes in every so often to interrupt my cycle of patheticness when there's papers for me to sign, or interviews to turn down. Other than that,  I'm on my own in this mess.    

Jc seems to be at the label every damn day, which just furthers my suspicion that he's going to sign his own record deal, and leave me in the dust. I'm sure another manager will come along, but they'd never match up to Jace. He got me started and nobody will ever replace him as far as I'm concerned.     

"You need anything else?" Chelsea asks as she gathers her paperwork and heads for the door.     

"Yeah... we need to talk Chels."    

"About?" She rolls her eyes and plops down on my bed before giving me a bored look.    

"Come on... don't be like that."    

"What the hell did you expect Madison? You think you can just apologize and blow the whole thing off? It doesn't work like that."    

"I know.. It's just..."    

"You lied to me, Maddie. We've been best friends since fifth grade, and you've never lied to me before. Why pick now to start?"

"I know, I just... Chelsea, I didn't have a choice. Johnny had us sign all of these papers and if the truth got out..."

"And you honestly think I'd sell you out? You should know me better than that by now."    

"I do. I knew you'd keep it quiet. After you met Justin and everything... I just didn't know how to tell you. I'm sorry Chelsea. I'm so, so, so sorry." I shrug helplessly. "Everything keeps getting fucked up and nothing I do helps. I don't know what to do Chels." I can feel the tears streaming down my cheeks and Chelsea's expression softens.    

Maybe I'm finally getting through to her. She has to know that I'd never do anything to hurt her, or our friendship. She's the closest thing to a sister I've got, and I'm not about to let that fall apart. We have to straighten this out. I'm not sure I can handle losing my best friend on top of everything else.    

"Alright look... I'm still really fucking pissed, ok? But in a way.. I kind of understand. But I swear to God Madison, if you ever lie to me again, we're really going to have problems."    

"It won't happen again, Chels. I swear."    

Finally!    

It's about damn time something went my way.    

I know it'll be quite awhile before she forgives me completely, but I'm back on her good side, and for now... that's enough for me. I just needed to be able to talk to her. I need to lean on her to get through this Justin mess, but most importantly... I just needed my best friend back.

****************************    

"Found another one." Chelsea rolls her eyes as she lays yet another rag mag down in front of me.    

Within the last week, she's brought home atleast a dozen or so, all of them speculating on why I filed for divorce. Most of them seem to be of the opinion that Justin cheated, or that I just couldn't handle the sudden media attention.    

I wish it was that simple.    

Of course, Justin doesn't appear to be doing anything to quash those infidelity rumors. Every day since I left, there's been some story about him, out partying all hours of the night and enjoying his newfound freedom.    

It probably sounds stupid, but it's really starting to piss me off. He damn near begged me to stay with him, yet he hasn't tried to contact me even once, and he's out clubbing every damn night. Exactly how is that supposed to make me feel? Doesn't he realize that his actions are making me question everything he ever told me?    

Plus, he didn't exactly elaborate on his feelings. He never said he loved me and what happened at his party so doesn't count.    

I guess part of the problem is that I'm looking at this all wrong. I feel like I'm in the middle of an incredibly messy break up, when in reality... there never was a relationship to break up.     

I just... I miss him. I miss his stupid laugh and the way he could make the dumbest things sound hilarious. I miss being in the studio with him. I miss the way he smelled, the way he'd look at me. Hell... I even miss fighting with him.    

It's been a week and already, I feel like I can't move forward without him. I'm about as pathetic as it gets.     

I toss the magazine onto the growing pile and force myself to ignore it. I can't keep reading all of those stories about him. It just makes it worse.    

The really stupid thing though... I brought this on myself. I was the one who left. I was the one who refused to work things out. I was the one who pushed my feelings aside and let my pride take over. I don't have anyone to blame but myself.    

Although, I do believe Johnny is the root of every problem I've had over the last six months.     

He used Justin and I to make a few bucks, and I'm the one paying for it. Justin will come out on top, just like everyone wanted, and I'll be left with a broken heart and a half finished album.    

I haven't even really put much thought into going back to the studio yet. RCA has given me all the time off I want until this thing gets cleared up and the publicity dies down. So, I've tried to focus on myself rather than work. Unfortunately, the only thing I can seem to focus on is Justin.     

I really thought leaving would make me feel better. I thought I'd realize that my feelings for him started because it was convenient, but it's pretty obvious that I was wrong.    

My feelings for Justin are one hundred percent real. I wouldn't be so damn miserable if they weren't.     

The door to my apartment opens suddenly and Jc strolls in, grinning from ear to ear. He probably has some piece of news that's great for him, and horrible for me.    

Wonderful.    

Like I really need someone to rub their happiness in my face.    

"What's up?" I ask cautiously as he plops down on the couch next to me.     

"I just talked to the label...and we made a couple decisions."     

I swallow hard and wait for him to continue. This is it. This is where he leaves me behind to work on his own material and I'll become a nothing.    

Without Jc, I'm not so sure I'll survive in the industry. I haven't got the slightest clue about the business aspect of things. With my luck, I'll hire a manager who just wants to screw me out of a ridiculous amount of money.    

I'll end up jobless and homeless before you know it.    

"I'm going to step in and finish the album with you. So, we can go back in the studio whenever you're ready. The label thinks you should take a few weeks off, but it's up to you."    

"And?"    

"That's all I got." He shrugs and flips on the TV.    

"What about your deal Jace?"    

"Turned it down." He shrugs again. "It just didn't feel right, plus... I'm not gonna bail on you in the middle of all of this. I'm not that type of guy."    

"You are amazing!" I cry and throw my arms around his neck.    

This is the best news I've gotten in months. I know it's selfish, but I'm so not ready to let Jc go yet.     

He's been incredible the last several years. He understands me, he knows where I want my career to go. He's always honest with me. I really couldn't ask for a better manager.    

"Yeah, you're stuck with me for awhile kid." He chuckles and rolls his eyes.    

I think I'm in shock right now. Two things in one day have worked out in my favor. Is this really possible?    

Maybe things are finally turning around. Maybe I can finally stop moping and get back to being myself again. And maybe... maybe, leaving Justin was the right decision.     

But, that doesn't make me miss him any less.    

Right or wrong, I love the idiot.     

I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it. For some reason, he's managed to get under my skin. He's made me feel things no one else ever has. Even when he pisses me off to no end, I can't get enough of him. He just.. he got to me.    

Leaving may have been the right decision in the long run, but it just doesn't feel totally right and that's what worries me.

*********************************    

I throw my duffle bag into the trunk before climbing into the backseat and grabbing my ipod.     

My mother had a small freak out when I called to warn her about the divorce. So, I've decided to go home for a few days, just to show my parents that I'm perfectly fine.    

As usual, Jace and Chelsea are tagging along, which is actually kind of a relief. With the two of them there, my mom won't spend all of her time fretting over me.    

I'm kind of weird when it comes to this stuff. If I'm upset, I don't like to be doted on and I don't like talking about whatever's bothering me, until I'm good and ready. But, I like having people around. I hate being alone to begin with, but it seems so much worse to be alone when you're upset about something.    

My phone vibrates in my lap and I quickly flip it open. I'm sure there's no hiding the shock or confusion on my face when "one new message from: Trace" flashes on the screen.    

Trace and I got along pretty well, but we weren't super close or anything. I figured once this whole Justin thing was over and done with, I'd never see or hear from Trace again.    

"Hey what's up?"    

Casual conversation is probably the last thing I was expecting.    

Granted, I wasn't exactly sure what to expect, but I guess the delusional side of me hoped it'd be some long, dramatic message about how Justin can't function without me.    

"Not much. You need something?"    

"Nah. Just thought I'd say hey. I miss having you around girl."    

Trace misses me? What the hell?    

"Justin does too ya know."    

I take a deep breath and turn my phone off, without responding.     

I don't need this. I really, really don't.    

It's been two weeks since I left and I'm finally starting to feel like myself again. Yes, I miss Justin, but I know that'll pass eventually. I know I'll get over him someday. I just need my space. I need to be away from him, so I can move on.    

I don't need his best friend telling me he misses me.    

Besides, if Justin misses me so damn much, why hasn't he called?  Why is Trace the one texting me? Justin doesn't miss me. He misses pushing me around. He misses having that control over me.    

I know it sounds dumb, but a small part of me wanted to hear that he misses me. I guess I just wanted to hear it from him instead of his messenger boy.    

Maybe that's why I'm having trouble buying it. It isn't coming from Justin. I mean, he could have very well put Trace up to it, but I don't know that. I mean honestly, how am I supposed to know what's going on in that fucked up head of his?    

I really need to just stop thinking about this. I need to focus on taking care of myself, finishing my album and moving past all of this.    

I'm going to show the world that I'll be just fine without Justin Timberlake.

**************************    

I slowly walk into my parents house and smile stupidly when the familiar scent of coffee and cigarettes hit my nose. I really need to come home more often. Just being in this house today has made me feel a little better, even though I have several memories of Justin in this house.    

I'm sure if Chelsea and I swing past the bar some time during our trip, I'll definitely feel like myself again, but... Justin will probably plague my thoughts there too.    

I shouldn't have been so welcoming to him when he was here. I should have treated him like the outsider he was, but instead, I let him into the most private aspects of my life. Maybe I just bought into my role as his wife a little too much.    

Chelsea decided to stay at her parents tonight and Jace is out wandering the streets of Chicago, doing God knows what. Sometimes, I swear he has ADHD or something. The boy just can't sit still.    

I know I should have spent most of the day here with my parents, but Chelsea insisted on going out. We caught a movie then grabbed a late dinner and of course, it was a disaster.    

We were followed everywhere we went, and even during our meal, a group of photographers stood at the window, snapping pictures of my every move.    

I guess I should have expected this sort of thing. I'm divorcing the most famous man in the world and for some strange reason, people want to know about it.    

I'm just tired of the constant questions and harassment. I mean... for most people, divorce is a very painful thing. You'd think they'd respect my privacy and give me some space, but oh no. They're like vultures.     

I thought it was bad when we first got married, but that's nothing compared to this.    

I curl up on the couch and flip on the TV before quickly turning down the volume. I'm sure my parents have been in bed for a couple of hours and I definitely don't want to wake them up.     

I was able to dodge all of my mother's questions this afternoon, thanks to JC and Chels being here, but now... there'd be no escaping her. She's going to want every detail, and I don't know what the hell to say to her.    

The truth is always an option, but... I'm almost afraid of that.     

My mother is extremely family oriented and the second she met Justin, he became her son. I don't think I can take that away from her. I mean, even with this divorce mess... she'll always see Justin as part of the family. That's just the kind of person she is.     

I just wish there was some kind of easy fix for all of this. Why can't there be a way to just erase the last six months from my memory?    

I just want it to stop hurting.    

The light at the top of the stairs comes on suddenly and I take a deep breath.    

Great. Here we go.    

My mom is going to come down those steps and spend God knows how long grilling me about Justin and the divorce. Unfortunately, I'm too tired to come up with some elaborate explanation as to why my marriage failed so quickly.    

The weirdest thing about all of this is, suddenly... it isn't about the truth anymore. The fact that Justin and I were never really together has become a non-issue. It's almost as if our marriage was real. I don't even really know when it happened.    

It was like, one day I woke up and suddenly... the truth wasn't the problem anymore. It became about our feelings and it just turned into one big emotional mess.     

Maybe... maybe Justin and I started to believe we really were together.    

I'm pleasantly surprised when my father enters the living room and takes a seat at the other end of the couch. I breathe a sigh of relief and turn my attention back to the TV.    

I know my dad won't pry or ask a lot of questions. It's not that he doesn't care, he just believes in giving people their space. He knows that if I want to pour my heart out, I'll do it when I'm ready.    

"Did you just get in?"    

"A few minutes ago." I nod. "We got dinner after the movie."    

"So I heard." He laughs and shakes his head. "You were on the news. Now the entire city knows you're in town."    

"Great." I mutter and roll my eyes.    

I'm getting really tired of this shit.    

I'm sure I sound like the world's biggest baby, but sometimes... I really wish I would have found some boring, annonomys job, where nobody knew or even cared who I was. I love what I do, but the lack of privacy definitely sours things a bit.    

I don't even really understand the fascination with celebrities. Sure, I'm a fan of some people, but you don't see me following them around and taking pictures of them eating, like it's the greatest, most shocking thing on earth.      

All of those "look, celebrities are just like you!" stories drive me completely insane. We're normal people, with mostly normal lives. What's the big deal?    

"Ya know Maddie... I never thought you'd end up where you are. I was terrified when your mother and I let you leave. I knew you were talented, I just wasn't so sure the rest of the world would pick up on it."    

"Thanks dad." I smile as he nods and pats my knee.    

I'm sure to most people, that would sound like a backhanded compliment, but my dad's never been all that great at expressing his feelings. He's never really talked about my career, or even said he was proud of me, but I know he is. The way he smiles at me every time I win an award or accomplish something, tells me everything I need to know.    

My daddy loves me, and he's beyond proud of me.     

I change the channel again and groan when Justin's face appears on the screen.    

Looks like he's still partying it up. They show several photos and videos of him leaving a club, clearly drunk out of his mind and practically molesting some blonde tramp.    

Why am I not surprised?    

"Maddie, what the hell happened?"    

My eyes dart over in my father's direction and my jaw nearly hits the floor. I never expected him to question me. I figured he'd let mom do the nosy, concerned parent thing.    

"Dad, I really don't want to talk about it."    

"I'm just curious. Not everybody loses a son-in-law as quickly as they gain one."    

The man sitting across from me cannot be my father.    

My dad made it pretty damn clear that he didn't like Justin. Even after Justin flew him and mom out for Christmas, he still hadn't jumped on team Timberlake. So, why does he suddenly care that he no longer has a son-in-law?    

If he's trying to confuse the hell out of me, he's doing an excellent job.    

"Dad... you hated Justin."    

"Hate's a strong word, you know." He shrugs before lighting a cigarette. "Whether I liked him or not is irrelevant. He was your husband, Maddie. He was still family."    

"Yeah, but..."    

"He made you happy sweetheart. How could I not approve of that? When you brought him home that first time, it was plain as day. I knew the second I saw the two of you, that you were thrilled and that's all I've ever wanted. I just want you to be happy, Madison." I nod slowly and let his words sink in.    

I was just beginning to have feelings for Justin when we came home that first time. I never imagined that it was so obvious then. If I was that damn transparent, maybe Justin knew how I felt about him all along.    

But why did he wait so long to bring it up? Did he force himself into having feelings for me so that he wouldn't have to reject me?    

I know my dad is just trying to help, but he's confusing me even more.    

"Look Maddie, you're my little girl and I don't like seeing this broken down side of you. If Justin is what makes you happy, then maybe you should re-think this divorce. Ignore the fame and all of that other nonsense. Think about what you want, sweetheart. Because, that's what matters. That garbage they print in the papers doesn't mean a damn thing."    

"It's not because of the media, dad."    

"Then what is it? Because for the life of me, I can't figure out why two people who are so obviously crazy about each other, are just walking away from that."    

"It just wasn't working."    

"Marriage doesn't 'just work' Madison. You have to put some effort into it, give it all you've got. It's not easy, but in the end... it's worth it."    

"So you think I should work things out with Justin?"    

"If that's what'll make you happy, then yes."    

"Thanks dad." I force a smile and nod as he rises to his feet.     

"Just don't let yourself wake up one day and regret this. Do what's going to make you happy."    

"I will. Night dad."    

"Goodnight sweetheart." He smiles and kisses the top of my head before making his way back up the steps.    

I know my dad's right and his advice would be so easy to take... if I actually knew what would make me happy.

"Hi, I'm Melissa." A short brunette smiles at me as she approaches our table.    

"Hey Melissa." I nod before taking a sip of my drink.    

"I just... I wanted to say that I'm a huge fan and.. all that stuff they're saying about you is awful. You were too good for Madison Fox anyway."    

"Thanks." I force a smile and nod again.    

Melissa moves to sit down across from me, but Trace quickly stops her. "J... it's getting late. We better head out."

"Yeah man. Melissa, it was nice meeting you." I offer before I follow Trace out of the club.    

This has been my life for the last three weeks.    

We go out. We drink. We pick up girls.        

Most of them are fans, who have no trouble voicing their negative opinions of Madison. At first, it was kind of an ego boost. It was sort of nice to hear people bashing the woman who hurt me.    

But, it got old pretty damn quick.    

Now, it's just a reminder that she left. No amount of alcohol or women is going to change that.    

I know the media has been reporting my every move since Madison filed for divorce, and I'm sure she's seen or heard every bit of it. Lord only know what she thinks of me now.    

I just.. I can't hardly stand to be in my own house anymore. She spent six months there and in a lot of ways, it became her home too. Being there alone is just another reminder that she shot me down.    

I just got so tired of sitting at home feeling sorry for myself, so I've gone out every single night since she left.    

I guess a small part of me wanted her to see that I could go out and have fun without her. Unfortunately, I didn't think far enough ahead to realize that this could destroy any shot I had at straightening things out with her.    

"This shit's gotta stop man." Trace mutters and shakes his head. "I know this is the kinda shit you did before Madison showed up, but this is gonna look really bad."    

"You think I care how it looks?"

"You should. You're acting like some heart broken idiot and pretty soon, people will think you're an alcoholic."    

"What am I supposed to do, Trace? You want me to sit around the house and fucking mope or something?"    

"That's not what I'm saying. Look... I know you liked her or whatever, but get a fuckin grip man. Your marriage wasn't real. Move the fuck on and be done with it."    

"Way to show some support." I roll my eyes as Trace flips me off.    

Unfortunately, I know he's right. I'm acting like someone who's all broken up about the end of their marriage, when this shouldn't be affecting me at all. The problem is, I fell for her when I should have tried to keep myself as detached as possible.    

I never really told Trace just how strong my feelings for Madison are, so naturally... he thinks I should be able to walk away from this, no questions asked.    "I love her, Trace." I say quietly.     

"You're kidding, right?"    

"Not at all."    

He lets out a long sigh before shaking his head sadly. "Only you man... only you."    

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"    

"Only you would get forced into some bullshit marriage and spend months acting like a total douche, then decide you're in love with her. Are you fucking insane? I mean seriously J... even you gotta admit, this whole thing is ridiculous."    

Once again, my best friend is right.    

I really hate when that happens.   

Ridiculous, insane, complicated and illogical are all good words to describe things between Madison and I. This whole situation hasn't made sense from day one, and believe it or not... I kind of like that.    

Madison is the complete opposite of the women I usually go for. Things with her are never planned, they just happen. There's never any way to tell what kind of mood she'll be in from one minute to the next. She's stubborn, obnoxious and a total pain in the ass, but I love it.     

I love that unexpected aspect of being around her, you never know what the hell she'll do next and she says pretty much whatever she damn well pleases.    

I'm so used to everything in my life being planned down to the second, where I go, who I talk to, what I say, how I dress, how I act. It's like I'm performing all the damn time but with Madison, I can be myself.    

I can be loud and goofy, I can have real opinions about stuff, I don't have to over analyze everything or worry that I might offend someone. Being with her is as close to normal as I can get.     

And I can't give that up.    

I can't live the rest of my life without Madison Fox in it.

**********************************    

I dial the same number for what feels like the millionth time today and roll my eyes when it goes straight to voicemail.    

This is really starting to piss me off.    

I sat down and thought this whole mess through and I've decided... I've got to get Madison back here with me. I don't care what it takes or what I have to do, she's going to be back in this house as soon as humanly possible.    

The only problem is... I can't find her.    

In the last three days, I've gone to her apartment atleast a dozen times, I tried the studio, the label and so far... I've come up empty handed.    

I've called her God knows how many times, always getting her voicemail. I've called Chelsea and Jc, and still nothing.    

I'm starting to feel like some psycho ass stalker.    

Either they're pretty damn busy, or I'm being ignored. Unfortunately, I think it's the latter.   

I'm sure Jace is taking this opportunity to play the sensitive, supportive friend role and with my luck, Madison will fall hopelessly in love with him, and I'll be just a memory.    

Ok, that's a little dramatic, but hey... stranger things have happened.    

If I just had some small inkling of where the hell she is, I would gladly go after her. I've got all these things I need to say to her, and if I don't do it soon, I may never get the chance or the courage again.     

I just need to put everything on the table. The more I think about everything, the more I realize that I never really told her how I felt. Sure, I begged her to stay, but I didn't give her a reason to.    

I never actually said, "Madison, you need to stay because I love you." Based on that, I almost don't blame her for leaving.    

If I could just tell her everything I'm feeling, I might be able to turn this whole thing around. But... if she still walks away, I can't say I didn't try.     

I just can't walk away from this without trying something. If she really doesn't love me, I need her to look me in the eyes and say it.    

The front door opens and shuts before Trace enters the living room, waving a magazine at me. "She's in Chicago." He smiles proudly as he tosses it at me.    

What the hell? Is... is he actually trying to help me?    

Three days ago, he was telling me to forget the whole thing and now... now he's helping me track her down?    

I think my best friend might be smoking crack.    

He notices my confusion and shrugs before shooting me a small smile. "Look man... I did some thinking and... I actually like you better when she's around."    

"Oh, so this is for your benefit?"    

"Well.. kind of." He laughs and rolls his eyes. "I hate seeing you like this man. I've never seen you this fucked up about a girl. I got to thinking and I figured, if I can't get you to let it go, I might as well help you."    

"Thanks man." I nod slowly and glance over the small article detailing Madison's stay in Chicago.    

"I figured we could catch a flight in the morning."    

"Yeah, that's cool. Thanks." I smile but it feels more forced than it should.    

Now that Trace is finally backing me on this, I can't help feeling a little bad about something I did behind his back.    

It was stupid, really. I just... I was so desperate for some type of answer from Madison, I had to do something.     

So... about a week ago, I noticed Trace's phone laying on the kitchen counter. He was out running errands and I still haven't got the slightest clue why he left it here, he takes the damn thing everywhere.    

I swear, I was going to leave it alone, but then an idea hit me.     

Madison and Trace had gotten to be pretty tight during her time here. Granted, they weren't super close or anything, but I thought maybe she'd still talk to him.    

I considered just calling her from his phone and spilling my guts, but I knew the second she heard my voice, she'd hang up. So... I did the next best thing.    

I sent her a text message.    

I was kind of surprised that she responded, but I took that as my chance. And... that's when I blew it.     

I just had to go and pull that "we miss you" bullshit. If I hadn't done that, I probably could have kept her talking, but oh no... I just had to fuck it up.    

I swear, it should be a crime to be as fucking stupid as I am sometimes.    

I should probably let Trace in on what I did, seeing as how it's put him in the middle of the whole thing. But, it's not like it's that big of a deal. It just made me... well... technically Trace, look like a little bit of an idiot.    

I feel like a pretty big jackass for doing it though.    

I mean seriously, how pathetic is it that I pretended to be someone else, just to talk to a girl?    

I think I've reached a whole new low.

**********************************    

I stuff my bag into the trunk of Trace's car before heading back in the house to make sure I've got everything. I know I should probably be a nervous wreck, but I'm actually feeling pretty good.    

I've gotten myself to the point where I just need to get this off my chest. I wouldn't say that I don't care about the result, but the biggest thing for me is just telling Madison how I feel. Once it's all out in the open, I can worry about the other shit later.    

For now, I just want to focus on what I'm going to say to her.     

"Alright, I'm ready whenever you are." I take one last look around the house, grab my keys, and follow Trace out to the car.    

He starts the engine and begins to slowly back out of the driveway, then suddenly, he slams on the breaks and pounds his fist against the steering wheel.    

I turn in my seat the best I can and my jaw damn near hits the floor when I see a familiar black BMW pulling in behind us.    

Without a word, Trace jumps out of the car and marches back to the BMW.     

What the fuck is going on here, and why do I seem to be the only one out of the loop?    

A short, thin, red head steps out of the BMW and it takes all I have not to hop out and go back there. This doesn't make any damn sense.    

Chelsea is supposed to be in Chicago with Madison. Trace and I are supposed to be on our way to the airport so I can go win back my girl.    

Unless... unless they're all back in L. A, and Madison's in that damn car, waiting to patch things up with me.    

Alright, I lied through my teeth when I said I wasn't nervous.    

My nerves have suddenly hit me full force in the last ten seconds. I can't keep my hands from shaking and I'm pretty sure that if I move, everything I've eaten in the past week will end up on the floor of Trace's car.    

I'm sure that'd go over real well.    

Chelsea and Trace's conversation quickly gets heated and before I know it, they're both gesturing angrily and obviously yelling at each other.    

Maybe one day, the things that go on around me will make sense, but clearly... today is not that day.     

I finally muster up the courage to step out of the car and discreetly peer into the BMW. Lucky for me, Madison's not here.    

"I left you a message and told you we were coming home! It's not my fault you only check your voicemail every six months!"    

Suddenly, my attention is focused on the two personal assistants screaming at each other in my front yard.    

It's a damn good thing I don't have neighbors, because they'd be getting quite the show right now.    

"That wasn't the plan!"    

Plan? Why do I not like the sound of this?    

"Your plan was fucking stupid Trace!"    

"What the hell is going on?"    

Chelsea whirls around to face me, guilt etched all over her face. "Hey Justin..." She forces a smile and shifts awkwardly. "I was just leaving..."    

"Bullshit Chels. What are you doing here?"    

This girl has another thing coming if she thinks she's going to stand here and lie to me. I mean, does she honestly think I'm stupid enough to ignore whatever the hell they were arguing about? She must be out of her damn mind.    

"It was his idea." She says quickly and points an accusing finger at Trace.    

"Chelsea! What the fuck?"     

"Well.. it was stupid."    

"Whatever." He rolls his eyes and steps toward me. "Look man... I was just trying to help."    

"If you want to help, quit dancing around it and just tell me what the fuck is going on."    

"Me and Chelsea were kind of going to force you and Madison into talking things out. I was supposed to get you to this studio she's been working at in Chicago and we were gonna leave y'all there for a few hours. But somebody... " He lets out a long sigh and glares at Chelsea. "Just fucked the whole thing up."    

"What, are you guys like five?" I laugh bitterly and shake my head. "That's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard." I open the trunk and grab my bags before heading back into the house.    

I guess I should appreciate the fact that they care enough to want to help, but locking me and Madison in a room together isn't going to solve anything. We need to talk, yes. But, we're both stubborn as all hell. Forcing us into something will make us less likely to cooperate.    

I mean, we were forced into staying married and look how that's turned out.    

I'm actually a little pissed off about this. I'm just so damn tired of other people trying to run my life for me. I'm a grown man damnit. I should be allowed to make my own decisions and do things for myself.    

I thought Trace was just giving advice when he said I should go to Chicago to talk to Madison, instead.. he was trying to control me, just like everyone else around me does.    

I know he had good intentions, but he should have just stood back and let me handle this on my own.   

On the bright side, atleast now I know that Madison is back in L. A and that's going to make tracking her down, a million times easier.     

But... I can't quite figure out when Chelsea and Trace had the time to plan all of this out, behind mine and Madison's backs. They were never particularly close and I don't remember ever seeing them talk, unless Madison and I were around.     

Our best friends are up to no fucking good, and I'm more than a little concerned.  

**************************    

I stare up at the building in front of me and debate over whether or not I should go inside.     

It would be so easy to march up to the sixth floor, pound on the door and tell her everything... but I can't bring myself to even get out of the fucking car.    

Trace and Chelsea's little game the other day made me realize that if I'm going to do something, I need to do it soon. Otherwise, God only knows who else will want to jump in and problem solve. Even my momma is already threatening to call Madison, and that's the last damn thing I need.    

I mean, who wants their mother meddling in their love life? I know I sure as hell don't.    

The fact of the matter is, Madison and I are the only ones who can straighten this out. We need to get over all of our own bullshit, and for the first time since we met, be honest with each other.    

I finally step out of the car and slowly make my way up the sidewalk. I don't think I've ever been in Madison's apartment. I've brought her here several times to pick up various odds and ends, or drop Chelsea off, but I've never set foot inside this building.     

It's actually kind of awkward. I'm about to make myself as vulnerable as humanly possible and being in unfamiliar territory isn't going to help my already frayed nerves any.     

I climb the stairs slowly, trying to muster up the nerve to actually go through with this. I know I'll be a complete chicken shit if I don't, but I've just... suddenly, I've got a really bad feeling about this. I mean, what if she blows me off?    

I tried so hard to convince myself that the most important thing was just telling her how I feel, but that's not the case.     

I can't get shot down.     

I'm not so sure I can handle going in there and laying it all on the line, just to have her reject me.     

I turn around and head back down the steps, but stop when I hear that all too familiar laugh. If I was smart, I'd haul ass down the rest of these stairs and get the hell out of here, but I'm practically frozen where I stand.     

I'm so fucking busted.     

She rounds the corner and I can't help but roll my eyes when I spot Jc on her heels. Figures, doesn't it?    

They both stop dead in their tracks the second they see me and I take a deep breath. This is it. There's no backing down now. Obviously, somebody out there wants me to go through with this, no matter the outcome.     

"He....hey, Madison." I stutter and give her a short nod.    

"Justin... what the hell are you doing here?" She glares at me and I swallow the lump that's formed in my throat.    

This was probably the absolute worst idea I've ever had.     

"I umm.. I...I thought maybe we could talk?"    

Her expression softens quickly and she turns to Jc. "You better just go without me."    

Jc nods slowly before heading down the remaining steps and disappearing from sight. Madison turns to make her way back to her apartment and I'm right behind her the whole way.    

I can feel my confidence growing with each step and I'm damn near grinning from ear to ear when we finally reach her door. She turns to face me and stares up at me for what feels like hours, neither of us saying a word.    

Honestly... I don't even know where to begin. I had all this shit worked out in my head, but seeing her has erased every last bit of it. She just has that affect on me. It's like, I'm so damn wrapped up in her, I can't form one coherent damn thought.     

"Alright... you wanted to talk, so talk."    

"Can't we atleast go inside?"    

"No." She folds her arms across her chest and that angry glare is back full force.     

Ok... maybe this won't be as easy as it seemed at first.     

"Honestly Justin... I don't know what the hell you want from me... I mean, we-"    

Before I even know what the hell I'm doing, my lips are planted firmly on hers and she's leaning against the door for support. Her arms slide around my neck and I can't help but smile.    

And just like that... my confidence is back.     

That kiss just told me everything I need to know.     

She loves me, just as much as I love her, and we're going to get this cleared up.

It's just a matter of time.

Right about now would be a good time for my brain to kick in, but even it seems to want nothing but Justin.     

The second I saw him, I almost couldn't remember why I left in the first place. Then, the last few weeks flashed through my mind and I was ready to go on the defense.     

I know exactly why he's here and part of me doesn't want to hear any of what he wants to say. But, that hopelessly romantic, mushy, girly side is ready to eat it all up.    

He finally pulls away and rests his forehead against mine, a satisfied smile planted on his lips. My cynical side is quickly coming back and all I can think is that he's here for the physical aspect of things. I should probably push him away, go inside and slam the door in his face, but I just can't do it.    

I think I'm about as conflicted as it gets right now.    

I desperately want to believe him when he says he has feelings for me, but I can't. He's never given me a reason to believe a single word that's come out of his mouth and he just flat out can't be trusted.     

"Can we go inside and talk?" He asks quietly. I nod before breaking our contact and stepping into my apartment, Justin trailing behind me.    

He walks in slowly, taking the time to look at everything around him, my mismatched furniture, the posters, album covers and photos adorning the walls. He stops in front of my stereo and I can see his eyes widen at the sight of my cd collection.    

What can I say? I'm a music freak.    

"Jesus Christ... how the hell many cd's do you have?"    

"Last time I checked, a few thousand." I shrug and plop down on the couch.    

It feels pretty weird to have him in my home. I spent six months living with him, yet he never once came up here or even asked to see my place. It's the little things like that, that worry me.    

It's almost like he has no interest in my personality or the things that I care about. Maybe part of our problem is that we still don't really know each other.     

Sure, I know more about him now than I did when we met, and we did get to know each other a bit, but I still feel like I've never see the real Justin. And, I'm not so sure he's ever seen the real me.     

I've tried so hard to keep my guard up when it comes to him. I just... I couldn't stand the idea of letting him know he got to me. As soon as he knows just how much control he really has, it's all over for me.     

I won't be able to hide anymore and I'll have to admit how I really feel about him. Once he has all of that, he'll lose interest, and I'll be right back where I started. And, I'm just not ready for that.    

"So...."    

"Justin, why are you here?" I ask wearily, hoping that maybe... he'll chicken out of this and just leave.     

He lets out a long sigh, then begins to pace the floor, keeping his eyes focused on anything other than me.  He laughs bitterly and shakes his head before stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans. I can tell he's nervous and honestly, I haven't got a clue why.    

If either of us should be nervous, it's definitely me.    

"I had all this shit I wanted to say. I had it all thought out... what to say, how to say it and now, it's like I can't even think straight." I can't help but roll my eyes and shake my head at his dramatics.    

When he said he wanted to talk, a small part of me thought that maybe, he came here to finally be honest. Instead, it's typical Justin. Dancing around the subject, doing everything he can to avoid being serious when it really matters.     

Although, I do give him credit for coming here. That took a lot of nerve, and I sure as hell wasn't pursuing him. So, kudos to him for manning up a little.    

In a way, I can kind of understand how it might be difficult for him to spill his guts. He is male after all, and Lord knows they can never stand to let themselves seem vulnerable.    

Maybe, instead of waiting for him to lay everything on the line, I need to be the one who takes a chance this time. I'm terrified to put myself out there, but he atleast deserves to know where he stands with me.    

I love him. I'm willing admit that to him. But, no matter how badly I want to, I can't be with him.     

How can I be with someone I can't trust? How can he expect me to fall at his feet or believe anything he says, when he's spent the last three weeks screwing around? Surely he's smart enough to know that I heard about all of that.     

There's countless reasons for this not to happen and honestly, I don't see a single reason for us to be together.  Loving him just isn't enough.    

I don't care what anyone says... love most certainly does not conquer all.    

If deciding whether or to be together was our only issue, this would all be fairly easy. Unfortunately, things in my life never take the easy road.    

The entire world knows that Justin and I are in the middle of a divorce. If we got together, how the hell would we explain that? Just say that we changed our minds? Not to mention the fact that just because I have feelings for him, doesn't necessarily mean I want to be married to him.    

Sure, in some romantic little fairytale, we'd fall head over heels in love and decide to stay married. But, this is real life, and shit like that just doesn't happen.    

Justin finally stops pacing and turns to look at me while gnawing on his bottom lip. He stares at me until finally, I can't take it anymore. I have to say... something.    

"Look, Justin..." I sigh and run my hands through my hair nervously. "I... I will admit, I care about you. A lot more than I ever intended to, but... I'm smart enough to realize that this wouldn't work."

"Why not?"     

I'm actually pretty surprised at the calm tone in his voice. Usually, if Justin isn't getting his way, there's a lot of screaming and drama involved. His face doesn't show a single ounce of anger or frustration as he stands there, waiting patiently for my answer.    

I've never seen him like this. He's so cool and collected. It's almost as if he knows what's about to happen and he's more than prepared for it.    

"Number one, we can't get along. We've been at each others throats from day one, and I can't see that changing. Seriously... you piss me off more than anybody I've ever known. Honestly, I could probably end up killing you someday."    

"Uhh... thanks?" He chuckles before sitting down beside me.    

"It's not just that. I mean... what the fuck would we do about the divorce? People would know something's up, in a heartbeat."    

"We'll say we reconciled." He smiles hopefully and moves closer to me.    

I know what's he's trying to do, but little does he know, the charm and the puppy dog eyes aren't going to work today. I know what's best for me, and he isn't going to change my mind.    

His face is just inches away from mine now, and I swallow hard.     

Shit.    

Why do I turn into a puddle of mush every damn time he looks at me? It's ridiculous.    

"Come on Madison... that can all be figured out. I... I love you. The other shit doesn't matter." I nod dumbly and before I can respond, his mouth is on mine once again.    

Damn him. Why does he have to be so fucking good at this?    

Just as I move to slide my arms around his neck, he pulls away and smirks at me. "Look me in the eyes and try to tell me that didn't mean something to you."    

"Justin... that's not the point." I sigh and stand up. If I'm going to get through this, I need to put some distance between us.     

He's already gotten too close, and I'm beginning to lose my nerve.    

"I don't trust you, and I don't think I ever could. I had my doubts to begin with, but when I heard about you and all those other girls the last few weeks... I just knew. It'd always be like that Justin. I'd never be enough and I can't let you hurt me like that."    

He lets out a long sigh and hangs his head. He's busted and he knows it. "I get it... I really do. But Madison... I swear... I wouldn't do that. I love you. You've gotta believe that."    

He rises from his seat and moves to stand in front of me. His hands come to rest on my hips and with the intense, determined way he's staring at me... I almost believe him. Almost.    

I know my resolve is crumbling and it's just a matter of time before I give in to him.    

I really am a pathetic excuse of a woman.     

He kisses me again and when I feel him smile against my mouth, every last bit of my restraint fades.     

None of the stupid shit matters anymore. The media, our friends and family, the lies we've told, the women he was out with... it just doesn't matter.    

I can't ignore the way he makes me feel and I'm tired of trying to fight it. I mean... would it really be so terrible to just let everything go and start over with him?    

Maybe if we wipe the slate clean and put the last few months behind us, we can get ourselves on the right track and maybe... maybe we can actually make this work, no matter how insane or ridiculous it is.     

"Alright... if, and this is a big if... if we do this, how is this going to work Justin? We can't just stay married."    

"And why is that?"    

"Because... because I don't want to. Marriage is a big deal and... I want a real wedding, when I do finally get married. I want a cake, and the dress, and the church. I don't want to think back on what's supposed to be the most important day of my life, and not be able to remember it."    

He nods slowly, a frown quickly taking over his features. "So... you still want the divorce?"    

He sounds so sad and defeated, but he has to understand where I'm coming from. We can't just jump into this thing head first. We have to treat this like a normal relationship. We need to take our time, get to know each other and go from there. That's the only way this is going to work.    

"Yeah, Justin... I do."    

"Fine. If that's what it'll take... fine." He rolls his eyes and sighs in frustration. "So what now? Do I have to wait for all this other shit to blow over before we can actually be together?"    

I know he's angry, but this is for the best.     

Number one, a sudden reconciliation would raise way too many questions, and I'm just flat out not ready to actually be married. I'm still way too selfish and stubborn for that.    

But, continuing the divorce doesn't mean I'm going to stay away from him.    

"I never said that." I smirk as his eyes widen.    

"So.. so you...you mean..." He stutters. He really is adorable when he's in shock.    

"Sneaking around might be kind of hot, ya know?" I giggle before slowly backing him toward my bedroom.    

"You..." He grins and kisses me quickly. "Are fucking incredible."        

"Yeah well... it's a gift." As his mouth trails down my neck, I can't stop the stupid smile that's quickly spreading across my face.    

This just... this feels right.    

Forgetting about the last six months, letting go of my pride and finally being with him for real, just feels right.

*******************************    

"Try it again." Jc's voice echoes through the small booth and I have to fight the urge to roll my eyes when my phone vibrates against my hip for the 10th time in the last half hour.    

Apparently, Justin is getting impatient and as usual, Jace refuses to let me leave the studio until the song I'm working on reaches his insanely high level of perfection.    

It's been six days since Justin and I talked things out, and it's been... well, it's been pretty normal actually. Normal for us, anyway. Granted, there are a few new things being thrown into the mix.    

For starters, there's the hiding. Before, we were supposed to show our relationship off to the entire world and now, if we want to see each other, we have to make damn sure there won't be any visitors, and we sure as hell can't go out in public.    

Just the other day, Chelsea left to go spend the night at a friends, which left the perfect opportunity for Justin to come over. We'd have the apartment to ourselves and could do pretty much whatever we wanted.    

Just as we started to fool around a little, Chelsea came barging back into the apartment, ranting and raving about forgetting her wallet. As soon as we heard the front door open, Justin darted into the closet and stayed there for the entire 45 minutes it took Chelsea to find her damn wallet.    

I swear, it was like something out of a bad teen movie.    

Then of course, there's ten times more sex and physical stuff than there ever was. However, our fighting hasn't been curbed in the least. He does something stupid, I get pissed off, then we scream at each other for an hour.    

But now... making up is so, so, so much better.    

"Alright... let's call it a day. That last one was perfect." Jc nods, finally satisfied with one of the million takes I just recorded.     

Letting Jace step in to produce the rest of the album was probably the worst idea anyone has ever had in the history of the world. I mean, I thought Justin was a slave driver, but he's got nothing on Jc. He expects the absolute best and he won't stop until he gets it.    

Which, is why I'm stuck at the studio, four hours later than I should have been. I swear, I'm surrounded by perfectionist freaks.     

"You wanna grab dinner?" He asks as he slides on his jacket.    

"Oh.. umm... nah. I'm not really hungry." I shrug.    

"Seriously? You haven't eaten all day."    

And here we have my newest hobby... lying.    

Honestly, in the past week, I've turned it into an art form. I'm not proud of it, and don't enjoy it in the least... but it's just what I have to do.    

There's no doubt in my mind that Justin and I could tell the people closest to us the truth, but right now, this thing between us is so new. What's the point in getting everybody all up in arms, when we don't know what's going to happen? For all we know, this could end tomorrow. So, until we know where we're headed... I think we're better off keeping it to ourselves.     

Plus, this whole sneaking around thing is a hundred times hotter than I could have even begun to imagine. When Justin was in the closet hiding from Chelsea, I was beyond turned on. The second she left, I couldn't keep my damn hands off of him.    

I can't even really explain it. It's just... it's fun. I know it's wrong, but it's just so damn much fun to be doing something we know we shouldn't.    

"Yeah... I don't know. I'm just not hungry. I'll see ya in the morning Jace." I smile as I grab my bag and head for my car.    

So far, we've done a pretty good job of keeping things under wraps, but the paranoid side of me thinks Jc might already be suspicious. And that is definitely not a good thing.    

Jace is like some crazy private detective. If he thinks something's up, he'll do whatever he has to, to get the truth. I definitely have to be careful just how far I stretch the truth around him. If it gets too ridiculous... he'll figure me out in a heartbeat.    

However, my relationship, if that's you can even really call it, isn't having a completely negative influence on me.    

Number one, I've felt more like myself this past week than I have in months. I'm not angry or freaking out all of the damn time. My stress level has lowered considerably, and my creative streak seems to be at an all time high. I've written atleast a dozen or so songs within the past month, and I have Justin to thank for each and every one of them.    

Filing for divorce, then straightening things out, has actually been pretty inspiring. I've been able to put my every thought and feeling down on paper, and even I'm fairly impressed with the outcome.     

I think this album will end up being the most personal thing I'll ever do, and with a little luck.. my critics will completely forget about the last album and it's massive flop.    

I pull into Justin's driveway and smile when I feel the butterflies forming in my stomach. I get this nervous, jittery, excited feeling every time I'm about to see him and I hope like hell it never goes away. I'm like a little girl with a crush and I love the fact that he has that affect on me.     

I dig my phone out of my pocket and finally check the dozen messages he sent. I was in such a hurry to get here, I didn't even bother to read them when I left the studio. Most of them are "where are you?", "what's taking so long?" type stuff, but when my eyes scan over the last one, I feel my face flush and I bite down hard on my bottom lip.    

I've never been the kind of girl to be really open about sex. I've always believed it was a private matter that was reserved for the bedroom. Talking about it has always made me feel a little awkward and I won't even get started on how weird dirty talk makes me feel.    

But... Justin brings out this whole other side of me that I never even knew existed. He knows exactly what to say and do, and he makes me feel comfortable enough to really get into whatever we're doing.     

I mean honestly, just thinking about what the man can do with his mouth and his hands can make me flood my panties in a heartbeat. And his "I guess I need to get started without you" message, is doing just that.     

I scramble out of the car and quickly jog across the front yard. Before I'm able to put my hand on the knob, the front door swings open and I'm pulled inside the house. The door slams shut behind me before I'm roughly pushed against it and warm, smooth lips travel down my neck.     

With the way he's acting, you'd think he hasn't seen me in months, rather than just over 12 hours.     

I love that about him though. No matter how long it's been since the last time we were together, he acts like our time apart has been excruciatingly long. He knows how to make a woman feel wanted, that's for damn sure.     

His lips finally come to rest on mine before his tongue explores every last inch of my mouth. He pulls back to catch his breath and smiles down at me.    

"Hey."    

"Thought you were gonna start without me?" I smirk when I feel the length of him pressing into my hip.     

We really need to skip the small talk and get upstairs. I'm not sure how long it'll be before I explode with him staring at me like that and his body pressed against mine in all the right places.    

"Changed my mind." He shrugs as his fingers fumble with my belt. It takes a minute, but he finally gets it undone, then goes for the button and zipper before sliding his hand inside and stroking me through my panties.    

Screw going upstairs. We can fuck right here against the door, and I'll be perfectly ok with that. I just want him. I don't care when, or where or even how. I want him all the damn time and I don't see that ending anytime soon.    

He pushes my underwear aside and I bite my lip as he trails one finger along my slit. "Damn Maddie." He grins before quickly attacking my mouth again.    

I grind myself against his hand hoping to build up some friction, and I let out a gasp when the pad of his thumb begins to rub slow circles around my clit. He shoots me a cocky smirk and even though I'd normally slap him, or atleast bitch at him for it, right now... it just doesn't matter. All I can focus on are the things he's doing to my body.    

He knows exactly what he does to me, and he loves every fucking minute of it. The arrogance is just a front. He's enjoying this just as much as I am.    

He slides one long finger into my core and I can't stop the moan that falls from my lips. I don't know how or when he got so damn good at this, and I don't even really care. All that matters is that he never stops.    

He adds another finger and begins to pump slowly, pushing me toward the edge. Just as I can feel my stomach begin to tighten, he suddenly removes his hand and kisses my forehead sweetly.     

He's fucking crazy if he thinks that's where he's stopping. He can't just tease me like that and then walk away. I'll tie him down if I have to.    

Come to think of it... that could be... interesting.     

See what he's done to me? I'm a complete nympho now.     

He quickly reaches down and yanks his sweat pants off and I have to bite my lip at the sight of him fully exposed to me. Before I know it, he's peeled off my jeans and underwear, and kicked them across the floor.    

It should honest to God be a fucking crime to be as hot as he is. The intense blue eyes, chiseled jaw, perfectly sculpted abs. No man should be this incredible. No wonder he was able to talk me into the craziness of this "relationship."    

His hands grip my ass and he hoists me up, my ankles locking around his hips. He's pressing into me slightly and with one quick move, he'd be buried deep inside of me. I wiggle my hips a bit hoping he'll get the hint, but he holds himself still, the silky head of his cock brushing against my clit.        

"Justin..." I whine pitifully.    

"Ya know... I waited for almost five hours." He sighs and shakes his head. "That's just not fair."

"But it wasn't my fault." I pout.    

"And exactly how am I supposed to know that?" He smirks. He's a damn tease and he knows it.    

He finally positions himself at my entrance and slides in so slow, it's almost painful. Once he's settled himself inside of me, I can damn near feel him in my belly and I have to stop and catch my breath. He's so deep and it feels so fucking good.    

He pulls out slowly before slamming back into me so hard, the door rattles from the force. Why did we waste so damn much time acting like idiots, when we could have been doing this for the last six months?    

I don't think I'll ever understand it. But then again... maybe it was worth the wait. Maybe the anticipation and the tension is why this feels so fucking amazing.    

Without warning, he halts all movement and just stares at me. I groan loudly and shift against him, encouraging him to keep going, but it's like I'm not even here.        

I don't know what the hell he's doing, but I'm getting irritated and slightly uncomfortable.    

"Did you hear that?" He whispers harshly and turns to look behind him.    

"I didn't hear anything. Quit being a freak."    

"Madison... shut up. I heard something." He mutters. I open my mouth to protest, but he quickly covers it with his free hand.    

The back door opens and in a flash, he slips out of me before yanking his sweat pants on angrily. He grabs my jeans and tosses them at me and we move, as quickly and quietly as humanly possible, to the bathroom.    

Just before the door shuts, I catch a glimpse of my best friend and Justin's, strolling into the living room, hand in hand.     

What the hell?    

I couldn't have seen what I think I saw, could I?    

"Were they...."

"Yep." Justin rolls his eyes before sitting down on the edge of the tub. "I kinda thought something was up."    

"Care to elaborate?"    

"Trace wanted me to come see you in Chicago... they set the whole thing up together, but.."

"We came back early." I nod slowly and plop down next to him.     

Oh God, are we really finishing each other's sentences already? Ugh.    

He laces his fingers through mine and we sit in silence.     

So, this is what my life has become. Sneaking around, hiding in bathrooms, and compulsive lying.    

Maybe it makes me a hypocrite, but I'd love nothing more than to go out there and strangle the life out of my best friend. She appears to doing the exact same thing I am, but yet... I can't help but get pissed at her.     

I could confront her, but that would mean confessing to my own wrong doing, and I'm not so sure I'm ready to do that.    

So, I'll sit in the bathroom with my semi-boyfriend and wait.     

I'll enjoy being happy while it lasts because I know, soon enough... this is going to blow up in all of our faces.

I've recently come to the realization that I'm a pretty shitty best friend.     

I'm a liar. I'm manipulative. I'm a hypocrite. I'm a fucking dick, plain and simple.    

Number one, I've been lying to everyone around me for almost three weeks. Honestly, if it was up to me, the entire world would know what's going on and I'd be able to tell everyone that I'm a happily married man. For real this time.    

Instead, I'm in the midst of a divorce, I haven't got a clue what kind of relationship I've gotten myself into, and I can't even remember the last time I told someone where I was really going, or what I was actually doing.    

On the bright side, I've gotten pretty damn good at thinking on my feet. When Trace or someone questions my whereabouts or actions, I have to come up with a quick, reasonable explanation.    

Alright, alright, alright... I'm just trying to justify the fact that I've become an incredible liar, without actually calling myself a liar.    

I need serious mental help, I know.    

I'm also having an increasingly hard time buying this whole Trace/Chelsea thing. I mean... it's just so out of left field. Sure, they're friends and get along fairly well, but I'm not so sure this "relationship" thing is completely genuine. Trace can barely even look at a girl without telling me about it, so why would he suddenly start dating someone in our social circle, and hide it? It just doesn't make sense.     

Now, here's where the manipulation comes in- I haven't seen Madison in a week and a half, because there's always a hundred fucking people around. I really should have put more thought into agreeing to this sneaking around bullshit. Sure, it's pretty damn fun, but sometimes... it just flat out sucks.     

I mean really... announcing a reconciliation wouldn't be completely unheard of. People do it all the time, why should we be any different?    

Honestly, I think she's using it as an excuse. She doesn't want to be married, I get that. She wants that girly, dream wedding shit, and I understand... I really do. But, why can't she cite that as her main reason? I would gladly put together a ceremony for her. We can do the church, cake and guest thing. All she's gotta do is say the word. Instead, she wants to keep up appearances and follow through with this divorce horseshit.    

I think part of the problem is that she just doesn't want to be married to me, but whatever. I'll wait. It's cool. I know she'll come around eventually.    

Anyway... back to that manipulation business I mentioned.    

Jc has some meetings in Orlando this weekend to discuss promotion for Madison's album, and luckily... she doesn't have to go. However, Jace will be needing some help, so Madison shipped Chelsea off to Florida with him. Which, has given her the next four days completely to herself. It's the perfect opportunity for us to spend some time together.    

Unfortunately, I over looked one small detail. Trace.    

Now, I could have gone to Madison's for four days and come up with some lame excuse about working out of town, but Trace knows my schedule ten times better than I ever will. He knows that I'm not doing shit for the next several months, so he'd know it was complete bullshit.    

So, I made a few calls and ordered some new items for the William Rast summer line. Someone needs to meet with the designers to discuss color schemes, patterns and all of that nonsense. Trace handles any and all things involving the clothing line, so those meetings are all him.    

And those meetings... are in New York City.    

I swear, I'm like an evil genius or something.    

Thanks to my planning, Madison and I now have four days with no work, and no one around to interrupt our time together.    

It's fucking perfect.     

"You sure you don't want to come man?" Trace asks as he places the last of his bags in the trunk.    

"Yeah, I mean... this is your thing. I don't want to take attention away from you or anything." I shrug. "Besides, I got some shit around here I want to start working on."    

"Alright, well... whatever." He sighs before climbing into the car. "I'll see ya in a few days then?"    

"Yeah man. Call if you need anything." I give him a short nod as he slowly backs out of the driveway, and once he's on the street, I smile to myself before strolling into the house.     

I know this is wrong on so many levels, but I've just got this feeling that it's completely worth it.    

Besides, it's not like Trace and Chelsea are announcing their relationship from the rooftops or anything. If it's even really a relationship.    

I don't know why, but after the day she showed up here, I just had this nagging feeling that something was going on, and that things aren't exactly the way they seem.    

I mean... I really want to be happy for Trace, if he's happy. But.. it's fucking Chelsea. I mean, she's kinda grown on me, I just don't think she's right for my best friend. But, I don't have much of a say in the matter. It's his life and he can do whatever he damn well pleases. It's really none of my business.    

Besides, I'm not going to jump his shit when I'm screwing my soon-to-be ex-wife, behind everyone's backs.    

I guess I could probably call her my girlfriend, but we haven't exactly put a label on this thing between us. Sure, we're together pretty much every chance we get, there's dozens of late night phone calls and text messages, and we fuck like rabbits, but we're just... I don't even really know what you'd call it.    

We're together, but... we're not. It's just weird. I mean hell, for all I know... Madison considers me to be her boyfriend, but I really don't know. I guess until the divorce is finalized, it'll be kind of difficult to put a label on our relationship. I mean... exactly what the hell am I supposed to refer to her as? My ex-wife? Girlfriend? Fuck buddy?    

It's confusing as all hell, so until the divorce is out of the way... she's just Madison. It's much simpler that way.     

Almost an hour passes before I hear a car pull into the driveway and I can't stop the stupid smile that spreads across my face.    

This girl has no fucking clue that just the thought of her turns me into some giddy ass school boy.    

I quickly make my way to the door and step out onto the porch, watching silently as she pulls her belongings from the backseat. She stretches across the back of the car and her shirt rises a bit, exposing the tattoo on her lower back.    

I can still clearly remember the first time I saw it, and I didn't have the slightest clue what it was, or what it meant. Since we've been together, I've learned that the round symbol in the middle is a record to signify her first album going platinum. The lines on the outside reading, "I Have No Fear, I Have Only Love",  are lyrics from one of her favorite Fleetwood Mac songs, called "Gypsy."    

Her love of Fleetwood Mac borders on obsession, but it's kind of cute, in a weird way.    

I've always considered myself to be a pretty musical person, but for Madison, music is life. She eats, sleeps and breathes it. I mean, I love what I do, but there are times where I just get so completely burnt out on it, but not Madison.     

She loves every second of it. It never gets old for her, and it's actually kind of cool to see someone so totally in love with what they do.    

She finally sets the last of her bags on the ground and I can't help but roll my eyes. She's here for four days, not four months. Does she really need three bags of shit?    

I swear, women are all fucking nuts.    

"You gonna come help me, or stare at my ass all day?" Madison calls over her shoulder as she bends down to pick up her things.    

I laugh to myself and roll my eyes before stepping off the porch. "But it's such a nice ass."        

"Just help me, you idiot!"    

"What'd you bring so much shit for anyway?"    

"Because I'm not going to run around the house naked for four days." She rolls her eyes then shoots me a warning glare. "I know what you're thinking... and don't even say it."    

"Wouldn't dream of it." I grin and follow her into the house.    

I know she has this idea stuck in her head that we still don't know each other very well, but I have to disagree. Sometimes, I think she can damn near read my mind. I mean yeah, she doesn't know all the insignificant little things like what kind of toothpaste I use, or how I take my coffee, but she does know what ticks me off or makes me happy. She knows that my family means more to me than anything in the world.     

She knows the important stuff, what kind of person I am, how I feel about certain things. She knows how my brain works, and how to calm me down.    

But most importantly, she knows I'm fucking crazy about her, and as far as I'm concerned, that's all that matters.

**********************************    

I've never been a morning person. I don't know why, and I don't even really know when it started, but I've always hated waking up, especially before noon.    

Sleeping seems to be the only way for me to fully relax and it drives me completely ape-shit when that gets interrupted.     

However, I will make one exception.    

Madison Fox is the only person in the world who is allowed to wake me up, ever. Especially when she's wearing a pair of incredibly short shorts, and one of my t-shirts. Then and only then, will I be ok with my rest period being disrupted.    

She didn't even really do anything over the top to wake my ass up, and believe me... my friends and family have tried it all. Pulling off the covers, yelling, shaking me, blaring the stereo, Trace even started jumping on the fucking bed one time. But for some reason, I remained dead to the world, or atleast pretended to be.    

All Madison had to do was whisper my name, and kiss my temple, and I was wide awake.    

I'm telling you, this girl is beginning to have a very dangerous affect on me. Pretty soon, I'll be following her around like some pathetic ass lost puppy.     

"I just talked to Jace." She frowns and rests her head on my shoulder.    

I roll my eyes and fight back the groan rising in my throat. I know we've laid around and done nothing for the last four days, but it just didn't seem long enough.     

I guess this is the part of this whole arrangement that bothers me the most. We spend a couple of amazing days together, then we go back to our normal routines, like we don't even know each other. It just plain fucking sucks.    

I mean, I know it'll be worth it eventually, but right now it's just a massive pain in the ass. Life would be so much easier for everyone if we just told the truth for a change.    

But then again, if everybody knew... this might not be working as well as it is. I mean, what if part of the magic is that we go these extended periods of time without seeing each other?    

In a way, all that time apart builds up the anticipation for when we do finally get to spend some time together, and I think... it makes the time we are together, a little bit more special.    

Maybe I should just stop whining and be glad that she's with me at all. I mean, really... I'm pretty damn lucky she's even here. I need to just be happy with that.    

"So how much time do we have?"    

"Couple hours." She shrugs lazily.    

"Why don't you just move back in?" The words leave my mouth before I even have time to think about them, and I can't help but roll my eyes.    

Why am I such a fucking moron?    

I really need to learn to think before I speak. My big ass mouth has gotten me into trouble more times than I care to count. And, I'm sure Madison is about to read me the riot act.    

"Justin..." She sighs and sits up. "You know I can't. Not yet, anyway. I mean... the divorce stuff is still this big thing, and the album's almost finished. Just... ask me again in six months, alright?" She smiles sweetly and suddenly, I don't feel like such a fool.    

I don't know how she does it, but when she lets me down... she does it in a way that leaves me hopeful, rather than broken up. The fact that she wants me to ask her in six months, tells me that this isn't a complete waste of time.    

She sees a future for us, and I gotta admit, that's pretty damn cool. I mean, I could clearly see us settling down and doing the kids and marriage thing someday, but I was a little afraid that it was all one sided.     

But now, now I know that she's in just as deep as I am.     

What we're doing may not be logical, but there's a sense of security in it. Neither of us is going anywhere any time soon, and that's exactly what I needed to hear.    

It's not the ideal situation, but my complaints are getting fewer and farther between.

*****************************    

"How much longer do I have to do this?"    

"I don't know man." Trace shrugs. "You know how this shit is. It could last five minutes, or five hours."    

"Great." I mutter and roll my eyes before tossing down the rest of my drink.    

Club openings have got to be the dumbest thing on the fucking planet.     

I mean, what's the point in dragging a bunch of celebrities out to a club, just to convince other people it's cool? I don't know about anybody else, but I'm not going to hang out somewhere just because Michael Jackson or somebody thinks it's the place to be.     

It's just so fuckin retarded.    

Yet, here I am. Pretending to be having the time of my life when I'm actually bored out of my skull.    

Maybe I'm just getting burnt out on all this Hollywood bullshit, or maybe... Madison's made me see just how stupid all of this is. It's pretty rare to find her at this kind of crap, and I'm more than a little jealous.    

She usually gets to call the shots as far as her career goes, so she's able to turn down anything she doesn't want to do. I, on the other hand... pretty much sold my soul to the devil when I signed my first record deal.     

Until Madison, it never really phased me. I just did what was asked of me, and didn't really think about it.    

I guess sitting back and watching someone else do things their way, kind of opened my eyes to the fact that it doesn't have to be this way. Once this divorce stuff goes down, I think it's high time that I take some control and do what I want, the way I want.    

Our waitress appears in front of our table and places yet another drink in front of me, then moves to take Trace's order. I don't remember ordering another round, but whatever. Drunk is obviously the only way I'm going to get through this night.    

I down it as quickly as my first three, and set the glass on the edge of the table. That's when the napkin underneath catches my attention. I peel the thin paper off slowly, being extra careful not to tear it or distort the image.    

I smooth the damp napkin out in front of me and it takes all I have to hide the shit eating grin that's quickly spreading across my face. The words "VIP bathroom. Now." are scrawled across the napkin in large, loopy handwriting that I recognize immediately.    

I had no idea she was here, but suddenly... I'm not too upset that I got roped into this thing.    

"I'll be back." I mutter to Trace before sliding out of my seat and heading straight for the VIP bathrooms.    

It's been a little over a week since I last saw her and even though we talked this morning, I miss her. I can't explain it, but I just like having her around. She makes me feel normal, like I don't have to put on some damn show, but the second she leaves... that feeling goes with her.    

I finally step into the bathroom after fighting my way through the crowd and smile at the sight of Madison leaning against the wall, her short black dress clinging to her body in all the right places. In a split second, I cross the room and my mouth is on hers.    

"We don't have a lot of time." She mumbles against my lips as her hands work quickly to undo my belt.     

I back her into the first stall I see and lock the door behind us. With a quick tug, my pants are around my ankles and she pushes me down onto the closed toilet seat.    

Call me crazy, but I think my girl missed me a little too much.    

Yes, I'm an egotistical ass. So what? Madison obviously approves.    

She hikes her dress up and straddles my lap before leaning in and pressing her lips to mine once again. I don't know what the hell has gotten into her, but I fucking love it. This demanding, controlling side of her is incredible.    

She sits up a little before reaching down between us and guiding my now throbbing dick to her entrance.    

No foreplay? Damn, she did miss me.    

She slides down on top of me slowly, her mouth falling open a little wider as each inch sinks deeper into her center. Finally, when her hips are flush against mine, she leans forward and rests her head against my chest, a small whimper escaping her lips.    

She's still for several minutes, letting herself adjust to the feel of me stretching her out completely, before she starts to roll her hips slowly. My fingers dig into her sides as she rocks back and forth, little moans and contented sighs falling from her mouth every few seconds.    

"Shit... Justin." She moans loudly as I raise my hips up to meet her thrusts, pushing myself deeper inside of her, hitting the spot that can make her scream my name.    

I can feel her tightening all around me, and the louder she calls my name, the harder it is for me to breathe.    

"Madison... Lo..look at me." I choke out quickly.    

It takes a minute, but her eyes finally lock with mine and I swallow hard. She's never actually come out and said those three little words to me and...and I need to hear it. I need to know that she's feeling all of the same things I am.    

I just... I need to know that I'm not in this on my own. I thought I knew, but sometimes... I'm just not so sure.    

"I love you." I say breathlessly. She simply nods and looks away, her hips never stopping their slow, torturous movements.    

She bites her lip as her walls clamp down on me and I spill into her, my forehead falling to her shoulder. She halts her movements as her own orgasm hits and we both try to catch our breath.    

I would love to enjoy the post-sex high I usually feel with her, but I just... I can't.    

I looked her in the eyes and told her exactly what I felt for her, and all she could do was nod her fucking head? What kind of shit is that?    

I love this girl, but I do not understand her in the least. She says and does all this shit to get me thinking one thing, but then she'll turn around and do another. She's a complete contradiction, and I'm not sure how much more of it I can take.    

The more she does this kind of shit, the closer I get to going completely insane. But then again, I always said she'd land me in the God damned nut house.    

"Jus..." She says quietly and leans back. She rests her hands on either side of my face and forces me to look her in the eyes.    

She stares at me intently for what feels like hours, before she finally kisses me quickly and smiles.    

"I love you too."    

Finally!    

I've been waiting damn near 8 months to hear those words, and even though I would have preferred to hear them in a much more romantic setting... I'm totally ok with this. All that matters is that she finally fucking said it.     

That's the thing about her that keeps me coming back for more. There's this element of surprise to everything she does. Just when I think it's time to give up on her, she completely blows me away. Sometimes it's amazing, and sometimes it's not so great... but she always keeps me on my toes.     

We finally collect ourselves enough to go back out into the club, but she stops me just before I open the bathroom door.    

"I meant it, ya know." She smiles shyly and brushes her lips against mine. "I really do love you."    

"I know." I grin and open the door, allowing her to step out into the crowd.     

She makes it several feet before turning around and giving me a small wave, and just like that... she disappears.     

It sucks now, but it just has to be worth it, right? I have to believe that. I have to keep telling myself that in the end this will work itself out, because if I don't... I'm not so sure I can keep playing by her rules.

It's all finally official.    

All 14 tracks for the album are finished and in post-production. There's a title, a release date, and RCA is in the middle of booking the tour. It's almost insane how quickly the last two months have flown by.     

The single hits radio in a couple weeks, and the whole cycle is about to begin again. Hopefully, with a much better result this time around.    

If this album tanks the way the last one did, I honestly don't know what the hell I'll do. The future of my career is resting on this album. I can't fail again. Plain and simple.    

Unfortunately, as with everything else in my life... I'm being thrown a couple curve balls. RCA has had an exact release date in mind for quite some time, and I have to admit... I'm not too thrilled with their ideas.    

I understand that part of their job is to drum up publicity, but some things just don't need to be put out in the open.     

My third album is dropping exactly one week after mine and Justin's divorce will be finalized. How completely wrong is that?    

I mean, I know press is important. Without it, the entertainment industry wouldn't survive. I just... I wish that they wouldn't focus so much on personal stuff. But then again, RCA is practically handing them the story on a silver platter.    

God only knows what kind of nonsense they'll come up with, especially since most of the tracks are obviously based on relationships. Then throw in the fact that Justin worked on more than half of them, and even wrote one... I know we're about to be thrown into yet another media frenzy.    

As silly as it sounds, my ultimate dream would be to move to a house in the middle of nowhere, still record and be able to live a normal life. But, I'm smart enough to realize that, that is next to impossible.    

Justin's being pretty great about the whole thing though. He's going to lay low until the novelty of everything wears off, and we'll go from there. Unfortunately, that also means there's no telling how long we'll be apart after the album's out.    

I mean, right now... things aren't too bad. The media has backed off a bit this past month, which has made sneaking around a tad easier, but I still don't get to spend near enough time with him.    

Which is my own damn fault, I know. After all, this whole thing was my idea.    

I know Chelsea, Jace and thousands of others couldn't care less who I date, but I kind of like having this secret. As stupid and childish as it sounds, I love being able to have this one thing completely to myself.    

Most of my life is public knowledge, so it's nice to have some real privacy for a change.    

Besides, it's not like we'll be able to hide forever. Whatever Justin and I are, seems to be getting fairly serious, and if we want to keep it together, we'll have to come clean eventually.    

I just don't know how the hell we'll explain all of this.    

The truth could destroy us both, but another lie isn't going to help either.    

I don't know what's going to happen, so I'm just going to enjoy the here and now. Things are really good, and I'm not going to ruin that with my dramatics.

****************************    

"Rolling Stone has you in their top three most anticipated albums of the year." Chelsea grins and holds up the magazine. "That's pretty damn cool."    

"Yeah, I guess so." I shrug and watch helplessly as the older woman behind me continues to douse my hair with mousse.     

"Oh come on... two years ago you would have shit a brick over being in Rolling Stone at all."   

"True." I nod thoughtfully. "I'm just tired and cranky."    

That's not a complete lie. The last few days have been kinda nuts and it's beginning to wear me down a little. I've had countless meetings with the label to work out promotion for the album, interviews, photo shoots and now, the video shoot for the single.     

As crazy as everything is now, it's only going to get worse.    

But, I don't think exhaustion is what's got me acting a little weird around my best friend.     

It's been almost three months since the day I saw her and Trace together, and I still haven't heard any kind of explanation for it. I mean, if they're together... she can come out and say it. I'd actually be pretty thrilled for her. Trace is a good guy, and it'd be nice to see Chels settle into an actual relationship.    

She tends to get herself involved in those super-dysfunctional relationships that never last more than a month. A guy like Trace could be good for her. He's got a decent head on his shoulders, and he's not living in his mother's basement like a good portion of Chelsea's ex's.     

Oh yeah, Trace would definitely be a step in the right direction.    

I could probably just ask her about it, but that would mean outing Justin and I. And I'm not ready for that just yet.     

But then again... if I play this the right way, she'd never suspect a thing.    

"Chels... can I ask you something?"    

"Shoot." She nods, her eyes never leaving her magazine.    

"Are you seeing anybody?"    

"Not really." She shrugs and narrows her eyes at me. "Why?"    

"I don't know. You're always on the phone lately. I thought maybe something was up."    

"That's just Trace." She rolls her eyes and shakes her head. "He's been trying to get in my pants since we met. And, he's like bound and determined to get you and Justin together, so he uses that as an excuse to be up my ass constantly."    

"Exactly how does harassing you, get Justin and I together?"    

"Beats the hell out of me." She laughs and rolls her eyes. "I told him it was pointless anyway. So now, he just pesters the hell out of me. I mean, he's alright I guess... I'm just not sure I'm that into him, ya know?"    

I nod slowly and before I can respond, Chelsea says the last thing I was ever expecting to hear her say.    

"Don't worry though... I didn't tell him that you guys have been banging like horny teenagers for the last three months."    

"You knew?" I shriek and nearly jump out of my seat.    

"Of course I knew." She giggles and shakes her head. "Madison... I'm your best friend. I think I can tell when you're getting laid."    

"Why didn't you say something?"    

"I thought about it. I was kinda pissed at first, but then it all just kind of hit me. You guys got thrown into this whole marriage thing and were forced to flaunt it in front of the entire world.  It makes sense that you'd want to hide if you're really trying to be together."    

This is why this girl is my best friend. She just gets it. I don't know how, but Chelsea is the one person who is always able to understand where my head is.    

"So how come you didn't tell me about Trace?" I have to bite back a laugh as she lets out a loud sigh and rolls her eyes.    

She can deny it all she wants, but I know she likes him. That silly, excited grin on her face at the mention of his name says it all.     

"There's nothing to tell." She mutters, her cheeks quickly turning a bright shade of pink. "Besides... you didn't tell me about Justin. Payback's a bitch, and so am I."    

"Aww... Chels... you have a crush!"     

"Do not." She mumbles and is suddenly engrossed in her magazine.    

The bad thing about Chelsea is, she's just as stubborn as I am. So, God only knows how long it'll take her to actually admit to liking Trace. But, I'll be nice. I won't push her, and I'll mind my own business.    

After all... she isn't bugging me about Justin. So, when she's ready to talk... I know she will.    

One thing I can say though... I'm kind of glad she knows about Justin.     

I was enjoying keeping it to myself, but I knew that would only last so long. Eventually, it'd just be a chore and if I'm going back to work soon... I need things to be as simple as possible.    

With Chelsea knowing,  it's like this huge weight is off of my shoulders. I don't have to keep my guard up all the time, and I won't be so damn nervous around her.     

Plus, when Justin pisses me off... I'll have someone to vent to.    

I knew I should have told her from the beginning. But, hindsight is 20-20.     

Unfortunately, I've got this nagging voice in the back of my mind trying to convince me that everything isn't as cool as it seems to be.     

Chelsea and I have always been honest with each other. Why are we suddenly going out of our way to cover things up?    

I want to believe that it isn't that big of a deal, that things are just a little weird now. But, that voice in the back of my mind seems to be getting louder, and it's damn near screaming at me to quit while I'm ahead.

*********************************    

"Looks good so far." Jc nods as he watches the playback of the scene we just shot.     

Not to sound cocky or anything, but I completely agree with him.    

I'm beyond proud of this song and the video concept we came up with. Although, I'm sure it'll stir up some shit as far as the media and tabloids go.    

I've always prided myself on being pretty realistic about my fame. I know I gave up my shot at a normal life, and I'm ok with that. In exchange for my sacrifices, I get to do the thing I love the most, every single day.    

It's always bothered me when celebrities constantly complain about the attention they receive. Each and every one of them chose this lifestyle, and if they're really so desperate for privacy... they could walk away at any time.    

I've used that line of thinking from day one, and I think it's what has kept me so level headed about everything. But... I do have my not so reasonable days.    

Sometimes, I absolutely hate the constant questions, and having a camera shoved in my face everywhere I go. Just once, I'd love to walk into a room and be completely ignored. But.. it comes with the territory, and I know that.    

Not long after Justin and I got married, I was having a particularly shitty day. We'd been followed all afternoon, our faces plastered on dozens of magazines, you get the picture.     

I had all this stuff running through my head and I just had to get it out. I had to vent, and I ended up writing "What I've Become", in ten minutes that day.    

Originally, it was slow and depressing and honestly... not that great. But, it made me feel better and that was all I was concerned with.    

I haven't got the slightest clue what possessed Justin to rearrange it and at the time, I wanted to wring his scrawny ass neck, but now... I love it more than I thought possible.  And, that is exactly why it's the first single and title of the album.    

Even with Justin's changes, the song is so completely me. And hopefully, it'll live up to the hype.    

I try to ignore what the critics say about me and my music, but it's become damn near impossible. I got over-confidant with the last album, I thought it was perfect and had myself so convinced that it would be some monster hit.     

Obviously, I was wrong. I guess you could say I got what I deserved when it did tank.     

But, I'm not going to be so arrogant this time around. I'm not getting my hopes up.     

I'm just going to do what I can. I'll promote the hell out of this album, and perform my ass off. If I'm lucky, it'll work.    

But, if it doesn't... maybe it's time to accept the fact that my fifteen minutes are up, and move on.     

When you get right down to it, the video isn't anything scandalous or over the top, but it's definitely a big 'fuck you' to the morons who make their living off of the lives and misfortunes of celebrities.    

Most scenes are of me out doing normal stuff, grocery shopping, walking a dog, cutting grass, and a horde of photographers there to capture my every move on film. But, the really fun ones are the scenes where I get to act like a complete jackass. Falling down stairs, lashing out at the paparazzi, and the icing on the cake... a re-enactment of my arrest.    

It's all in good fun, and it fits the song perfectly, so I'm pretty content with it.     

Jc, however, doesn't seem so thrilled. He's spent most of the afternoon suggesting less honest scenes, and trying to change things around. I think if it was up to him, we'd have a completely different video on our hands.     

I don't know why, but I've got this nagging feeling that he's not too happy that I'm back to my old self.     

There for awhile, I was becoming a total push over, and any time he told me to jump... I was asking how high. Ridding myself of the stress of the whole Justin mess, and realizing that Beth was the one who landed us in our dysfunctional little situation, kind of snapped me back to reality and I realized just how pathetic I'd become.    

I hit rock bottom after I was arrested, then I picked myself back up, and I'm damn proud of that.     

Jc's been dealing with me since the very beginning of my career. He had to know that the whiny, pitiful, doormat thing just doesn't suit me.    

"So you're really doing this?" He asks skeptically. He's trying to be supportive and get his point across at the same time, but my mind's made up.     

"Yep." I nod and smile proudly.     

He lets out a long sigh before a deep frown overtakes his features. "Fine... it's your video." He shrugs. "I'll call the label and warn them."    

"Oh come on Jace... it's not that bad. What's the big freakin deal?"    

"It's not a big deal Madison... I just... I was starting to really like the cooperative side of you. Hate to say it, but you're kind of a pain in the ass when you're the one making the rules."    

"You love me and you know it." I grin stupidly as he shakes his head at me.    

"Sometimes I really don't know why. Anyway... the movie awards are in a couple weeks and they want you to perform. I just got the e-mail today."    

"I can handle that."    

"Good. I've got some other stuff for you to look over later. Most of it sounds pretty good, interviews and stuff."    

"Alright... I'll check it out tonight. I'm gonna go back to the trailer and lay down. Call me when they're ready." Jc nods and I quickly make my way off of the set and to my trailer.    

I really just want to sleep for the next three days. This promotion stuff is going to kick my ass over the next several weeks, and I'm going to need all the rest I can get.    

I open the door to my trailer and before I can shut it behind me, an arm circles my waist while the other hand covers my mouth, muffling my screams.    

Holy shit. I'm gonna die, and this fucker's gonna get away with it.    

You always read about this. Some psycho stalking a celebrity, and then they break into their home or something, and rip them limb from limb.    

I've heard plenty of obsessed, crazed fan stories, but never in a million years did I think it would happen to me.    

I ball my right hand into a fist and put all the force I can muster into my swing. A loud thud echoes through the trailer and I can't stop the satisfied smile that spreads across my face when my attacker groans in pain.    

He releases me quickly and I scramble to the other side of the room, grabbing the can of pepper spray I keep around for protection. I whirl around to face the intruder and my finger pauses on the trigger of the can.    

What in the hell.....    

"Jesus fucking Christ Madison! You didn't have to punch me in the balls!" Justin doubles over and gasps for air before slowly sliding to the floor.    

"I thought you were trying to kill me! What kind of moron grabs somebody like that?"

"I was trying to surprise you." He mutters and rolls his eyes, his hands cupping his crotch protectively.    

"Mission accomplished dumb ass." I chuckle and ease down next to him.   

Alright... I do feel a little bad, but what the hell was I supposed to do? I had no clue he'd pull something like this. For all I knew, some crazy asshole was about to slit my throat.    

"Shit... where'd you learn to hit like that?"    

"My dad." I shrug simply. "What are you doing here?"    

"I was bored and I wanted to see you. You really oughta up your security by the way, I got in here no problem. Any asshole could get in here ya know."    

"And you wonder why you got punched in the junk?"    

"Cute." He mutters and rolls his eyes again. "Anyway... everything going alright?"    

"So far. Jace is kind of tripping out, but he'll get over it."    

"He's uptight." Justin snorts loudly.    

I don't know why, but Justin gives off some pretty hostile vibes anytime we talk about Jc. It doesn't make much sense, considering their history. If I didn't know better, I'd think he's jealous.    

I mean, I'd kind of understand if he is. Justin and I barely have enough time to talk, let alone be together. 90 percent of my time is spent with Jace, and that's just a little unfair.    

If Justin was spending most of his time with some other woman, I know I'd have a problem with it. But, he's got absolutely nothing to worry about. Jace is like my big brother and the thought of him as anything else kind of turns my stomach.    

It's just way too weird to even think about.    

"Since when are you all anti-Jc?"    

"I'm not." He replies a little too quickly. "He just needs to lighten the fuck up. You're a grown woman, you can do whatever you damn well please. He's not your fucking keeper."    

"You're allowed to just be jealous ya know." I smirk as his eyes widen.     

"I'm... I'm not... not jealous." He stutters. He's so busted, and he knows it.    

"It's ok." I giggle and kiss him quickly. "I wouldn't be too thrilled if my boyfriend spent all of his time with some other chick."    

"So I've been upgraded to boyfriend now, huh?" He grins, his face mere inches from mine.    

"Yeah... you got a problem with that?"    

"Not at all." His mouth finally captures mine and I can't help but smile.     

How is it possible that the man I spent months despising, has turned into this? He's funny and sweet and charming and just... wonderful.     

The way I feel about him is terrifying and thrilling all at the same time. When I'm with him, it's like nothing else matters. He just... it's like he's this piece of me that I didn't even know was missing, and when he's not around... I just don't feel right.     

I love him. I completely and totally love him. I don't know when, how or why it happened, but it did. And I don't think anything's ever going to change that.     

He's almost too damn good to be true, and that scares the shit out of me.

I'm divorced. I honestly never thought I'd have to say that.    

I always thought that when I got married, I'd be in it for the long haul. I figured, I'd meet a woman, fall in love, have some big ass ridiculous wedding, crank out a few rugrats, then we'd grow old together.     

Instead, I met the woman, married her an hour later, spent six months on the verge of strangling her to death, fell for her, then got divorced.... in a little more than a year.    

So much for the American dream, I guess.     

But on the bright side, the divorce hasn't taken Madison away from me like I originally expected, but she's definitely not around as much as I'd like. But, I'm with her... and for now, that's good enough.    

Her album is due out in a few days, and I gotta admit... I'm pretty damn nervous. Not just for her, but for myself as well. I worked on nine of those 14 songs, so I kinda feel like they're just as much mine as they are hers. If she succeeds, I succeed. If she fails, I fail.    

I just wish I could be around to enjoy the inevitable success with her, but unfortunately... while she's out partying and promoting, I'll be stuck at home, watching from the sidelines.    

Her release party is the night before the actual release, and as much as I want to go...I'm not so sure I should. Johnny seems to think it's a good idea, like the media shit will die down a bit if we show everyone we're still friends.     

Personally, I couldn't give two shits less what the world thinks. But, I do kind of like the idea of being around Madison, without having to hide.     

But, I'm sure with Jace around, I won't be able to get within ten fucking feet of her.     

I don't know why, but I'm just getting this increasingly bad feeling about him. Something just doesn't seem right lately.    

More and more everyday, he's getting more controlling, like he's fucking Johnny Wright Jr. or something. He's pushing all this extra shit off on her and the more it escalates, the more it worries me.     

I mean, it doesn't seem so bad right now. The extra interviews, shoots and stuff could all be blown off as promotion for the album, but pretty soon... it's going to be so far above and beyond that. Before you know it, she'll be doing fast food commercials or some shit.    

Part of what makes Madison so interesting is the fact that she isn't shoved down the public's throats. She's a musician, not a fucking brand.    

I just... I don't want to see her lose the things that make her who she is, and I can very easily see Jace sucking the life out of her and her career.    

Madison is special because the world doesn't know much about her. Until we got married, she was like this non-celebrity. I mean sure, there were a lot of stories about her partying, but nobody could ever prove it. People were curious about her, and that, plus the talent is what made her a big deal.    

Unfortunately, I'm afraid Jc is on his way to destroying that mysterious quality of hers, all for a few extra bucks.   

I'd like to think I'm wrong, but I've just got this increasingly bad feeling about all things Jc Chasez.

****************************    

Well... I did it. I finally manned up and decided to come to Madison's release party.     

The more I thought about it the more I realized I need to be here, for more reasons than one.     

For a second, let's pretend everything that's happened this past year was for real. Let's say Madison and I were married because we wanted to be and we got divorced because it just wasn't working.   

If that really were the case, I'd want to be here to support her. This album is her comeback of sorts, and if she really were my ex-wife and things ended amicably, I'd be here for her.    

So yeah, it makes sense that I'd show up.    

Now, when you throw reality into the mix... I'd probably get my ass kicked if I wasn't here. She's my girlfriend and I know she wants me here. Even if it does stir up some media bullshit, I know I'm doing the right thing.     

The funny thing though... Trace was completely against the entire thing. Which is pretty fuckin weird. I figured he'd be all for an opportunity to see Chelsea, but it goes to show what I know, I guess.     

I still just don't understand their thing... whatever the hell it is. I mean, if they're together... what are they hiding it for?    

Unless... it's Chelsea's twisted way of getting back at Madison for all of her lying.    

I don't know, but I'm not worrying about it. If Trace wants to start being a secretive little dick, that's his problem. I'm not going to stress over it.    

I make my way to the bar and order a drink before weaving my way through the crowd once again and taking a seat at a corner table.    

If the turn out is any indication, Madison's well on her way back to the top. This place is damn near packed to the rafters with industry folks, fans, various celebrities as well as Madison's family and friends.    

It's a pretty typical release party, but it does have that Madison Fox edge to it.    

Everything, from the decorations to the guests attire is completely casual. I'm actually pretty proud of her for the way this turned out. Usually, these things can be kind of formal and boring as all hell, but as always... Madison has managed to do it her way.    

I guess I can take that as a sign that Jc hasn't completely sunk his industry claws into her just yet.    

"Pop star! What're you doing here?" Chelsea slurs, a wide grin spreading across her face as she plops down at my table.     

Obviously, she's already trashed, and I'm sure Madison is probably in the same state, wherever the hell she is.    

"Figured I'd make an appearance." I shrug and take a sip of my drink.    

"Trace with you?"    

"He's around here somewhere."

"Cool, cool." She nods slowly. "He likes me, ya know." She giggles and rolls her eyes.    

"Really? Hadn't noticed." I mutter. Does she really think I'm that fucking stupid?    

"Yeah well... you wouldn't. I guess we're sort of together.... but that's a secret."    

"Oh yeah?"    

"Yep." She nods seriously. "We agreed that you and Maddie deserved a taste of your own medicine."    

"How so?" I lean forward in my seat and wait for her to continue.    

I knew it! I so fucking knew this whole thing was some sort of payback. It's stupid... but in some ways, it makes sense.    

"Well..." She sighs before gulping down the rest of her drink. "You guys screwed over a lot of people. You lied to the whole fucking world, ya know? And Maddie... it broke my heart that she didn't tell me what was going on. We've been best friends for so long... I think I deserve a little more credit than I got. And, we thought maybe after the divorce, you guys would have realized that your lying doesn't affect just you two, but oh no... you had to start screwing around and lie about that too." She pouts angrily and folds her arms over her chest.    

As much as I hate to say it... she's right. Our so called marriage didn't affect just us. Our families were led to believe they'd gained an in-law. Our friends had to lie to cover our asses, or think they missed out on our wedding. Our fans were nothing but supportive and sent us God knows how many letters of congratulations.    

We lied to so fucking many people and all we ever worried about was ourselves.     

"I mean... do you know how that felt? To hear from fucking MTV, that my best friend got married? I should have been there for something like that. Then I find out the whole thing was bullshit, and she never bothered to tell me. It might not seem like it... but this fame shit has gotten to her head. The real Madison never would have agreed to that marriage to begin with, much less fucking lied about it, especially to me."    

"She was just trying to help me Chels. She agreed to it to cover my ass."    

"She still lied." She shrugs. "And now, she's gonna see how it feels." She rises from her seat and quickly disappears into the crowd without another word.    

Shit.    

I knew Chelsea was pissed when she finally found out, but I never realized just how bitter she was about the whole thing.  A small part of me understands, but it's just so... childish, I guess is the right word.    

If Chelsea and Madison are as close as they let on, you'd think Chelsea would be a little more understanding of the situation.    

But then again, when someone spends almost 20 years being nothing but honest, then starts lying to you out of the blue... maybe you would be pretty fucking bitter about it.    

In a way, I'm glad Chelsea spilled her guts like that, even if she won't remember it in the morning. But now the real question is... do I tell Madison, or let her go on thinking everything's perfectly ok?    

The overhead lights dim suddenly as the stage lights up, and Jc walks out, Madison trailing behind him, bending down to greet the fans gathered in front of the small stage. The music cuts off as Jace grabs the mic and smiles out at the crowd.     

Once they've quieted down, Jc begins to ramble, thanking everyone for coming, and supporting Madison. When he starts talking about working on the album, I can't ignore the flash of anger that hits me. He's raving about Madison's songwriting ability, her incredible guitar work, and even boasting about his own production skills.     

But, he's conveniently left out one major detail. Me.    

He's totally failed to mention that I produced over half of the album and even fucking wrote one of the songs. Flat out ignored my re-arrangement of "What I've Become." It's like I had absolutely nothing to do with this record.    

I'm not bragging by any means, and I'm not saying he needs to start name dropping, but atleast give credit where it's due. If you're gonna stand there and boast about the work that went into this album, how the fuck do you overlook my involvement?    

Jace finally finishes babbling and Madison moves to take the microphone, but he quickly deflects her and guides her off the stage.    

That right there is exactly the kind of shit I'm worried about. It's almost like he's trying to make this all about him. Madison should have been the one thanking her guests for showing up. It's her record, and if anybody's gonna brag about it, it needs to be her.    

I mean, you don't see Johnny running around taking credit for my work, do you?    

"Hey." She smiles brightly as she takes a seat across from me. "Thought you weren't coming?"    

"Changed my mind." I shrug simply. "How'd you even know I was here?"    

"I saw you when I was on stage." I nod slowly in response and quickly down the rest of my beer.     

As much as I hate to admit it, things have been a little awkward in the week since our divorce was finalized. It's like neither of us is quite sure what to do or say. I guess we just got too used to having this marriage thing hanging over our heads.    

Before... we were supposed to be all about the PDA, and making damn sure people saw us wherever we went. But now, it's the exact opposite. It's just really fuckin weird to go from one extreme to the next so quickly.     

"So... Jace had a lot to say."    

"Yeah, I know." Madison rolls her eyes and lets out an aggravated snort. "I was supposed to say something too, but apparently he said more than enough for both of us."    

She's trying to hide it, but I know she's not too thrilled with what just happened. Can't say I blame her, really. She should have been given the chance to say something. After all, these people are here to see her, not Jc.    

"So, how long you gotta stay?"    

"All night." She mutters and rolls her eyes again. "I already tried to weasel my way out of it, but my slave driver wasn't having it."    

Why am I not surprised?    

"Should we make a trip to the bathroom then?" I smirk as her face flushes quickly. I don't know why, but I love being able to embarrass the shit out of her like that. She gets all flustered and it's pretty damn cute.    

"Don't hold your breath. Way too many people." She giggles and shoves me playfully.    

"But that's the fun part Maddie."    

"Hey Jus... didn't know you'd be here." Jc nods in my direction as he approaches our table. He sits down next to Madison before draping his arm over the back of her chair, and I suddenly have to fight to keep the smile on my face.    

"Yeah well... I figured I needed to be here. Since ya know... I had a pretty big hand in the whole thing."    

"Good point." He smiles, but it doesn't seem quite as genuine as it should. "So, how's everything going?"    

"Not bad man."     

Alright, I'm finding it pretty damn hard to do this buddy-buddy shit with him, especially when he's sitting entirely too close to my girlfriend, with his fucking arm around her, no less.    

He nods before turning to Madison, that same fake ass smile plastered on his face. "You might want to make the rounds again. There's a few people from the label who wanted to talk to you, and I think there's some reporters around somewhere."    

"Oh... umm... ok." She sighs and reluctantly slides out of her seat. "Justin... I guess I'll see ya around."    

"Yeah, later." I give her a small wave and force the best smile I can as she disappears into the crowd.    

I really don't get what his fucking problem is. Madison has been running around kissing ass all night. Why can't she sit down and enjoy her party for ten damn minutes?    

"Justin... what the hell are you doing here, seriously?" Jc asks, the annoyance on his face clear as day.    

"Told you man... I worked on the album, I'm still cool with Madison... I'm just being supportive."     

"Look... I get that. I really do, but..." He sighs heavily and shakes his head. "I just... there's a lot of reporters here, and if it gets out that you showed up, it could overshadow her, and I don't want to see that happen again."    

"Again?"    

"Yeah. I mean, you guys got married and suddenly, the world was more interested in her personal life than her work, and the last album tanked because of it."    

"You ever think maybe it bombed cause it just wasn't any fucking good?"    

"Come on man... I'm just looking out for her. You don't need to be here, and it's just going to stir up a bunch of shit. You know that as well as I do."    

"You throwing me out?"    

He must have lost his God damn mind. I mean seriously... he's got to be fucking kidding. He can't honestly believe I'm the reason that Madison's last album flopped. I mean yeah, her personal life did overshadow her career for awhile, but that all died off eventually.   

 Now... all the hype is about her material. We're divorced. As far as the media's concerned, we aren't a story anymore.    

"Not exactly. I just... if somebody sees you, if could look really bad for her."    

"Fine. I'll fucking leave. Happy now?" I seethe as I stand up and slam my chair into the table.    

"Justin.. don't act like that man. I'm just trying to do the right thing here."    

"Fuck you Jace." I spit as I shove past him and head for the exit.    

The defiant part of me wants to stay, just to piss him off. But, I know even if I do, he'll keep Madison as far away from me as humanly possible. So what's the fucking point?    

I just don't get why he thinks it'd look so strange for me to be here, supporting my ex-wife. It really isn't all that crazy. People do shit like this all the time.    

Unfortunately,  there's a small part of me that can't help wondering if maybe he's right, and Madison's failures really are my fault.

"After awhile, we both realized that it just wasn't working, and we decided it was time to move on. But, we're still really good friends. I have the utmost respect for Justin, and I wish him nothing but the best." I shoot the DJ a cheesy smile and he nods, satisfied with my answer.    

"Alright folks, you heard it here first, from the best source there is. There is no Timberlake/Fox divorce drama! Now, here's the title track from Madison's brand new album."    

"What I've Become" booms from the speakers as the DJ quickly slides off his headphones and shakes my hand.    

"Thanks for coming in today Madison. We really appreciate it."    

"She was happy to do it." Jc smiles as he steps into the booth. "You guys need anything else?"    

"Uh, no actually. She's done." The DJ nods, thanks me again and shows us to the door.    

As much as I would love to completely flip out on Jace, I'll restrain myself. Atleast until we get to the car anyway.    

Now, I'm smart enough to know that with a brand new album out, I need to do some extra publicity stuff, and I'm perfectly ok with that. And yeah... maybe since the last album was a complete and utter failure, I need to do a little more than I normally would. But, I'm fairly certain that my manager doesn't need to be sticking his nose into each and every thing I do.    

I really don't know what the hell has been up with him these last few days. I've always believed Jace and I had a pretty good working relationship. For the most part, he'd let me do my thing and I'd tone down the attitude when he recommended it.     

However, in the three days since the album's been out, it's been a totally different story. In interviews, he tells me what I should say. At events, he won't let me say a single word to reporters or fans. He's piling more and more work on me every day, and it's like he just isn't Jc anymore.    

He's turning into this controlling, psychotic, workaholic and it's really starting to freak me out.    

The best I can figure is that maybe he's just stressed out and isn't quite sure how to cope. I mean, it's no secret that both our asses are on the line with this album. It has to do well or we're completely screwed. And, I'm sure the label is putting a lot of extra pressure on him.    

I have to succeed if he ever wants to have the opportunity to manage other acts, and I'd almost guarantee the label has been throwing that in his face non-stop.    

Maybe this controlling side of him is coming out to keep me from screwing up worse than I already have. If Jace jumps in and does all the talking, there's no chance for me to say something stupid.    

Maybe it'll be better for everyone in the long run, if I just keep my damn mouth shut and let him handle everything.    

But it's so fucking frustrating!    

I can't just sit back and keep quiet. I always promised myself that I wouldn't become just another industry bimbo, and it's not going to happen. I'm not going to let someone else dictate my career or my future.    

Jace isn't here to run the show. His job is to simply steer me in the right direction. And, he's done an excellent job of that.... until now.     

"So, what's next?" I ask as calmly as I can manage. I'm not going to lose my cool. I'm going to stay calm and give him the benefit of the doubt.... for now.    

"That was it actually. You've got a lot going tomorrow though. Few more radio shows, a couple shoots, we're meeting with the label to discuss the tour, then you're doing some stuff for Entertainment Weekly."    

"You are aware that slavery is illegal, correct?"    

"Ya know... if this music thing doesn't pan out, you just might have a career in stand up comedy." He replies dryly and rolls his eyes. "Anyway, get some rest tonight. Trust me... you'll need it."    

"I will." I smile as we pull up to my apartment building. "See ya in the morning Jace." I climb out of the car and practically sprint up to my apartment.    

A smart girl would do exactly as she was told and spend the rest of the day vegging out in preparation for the hectic day ahead of her.     

Unfortunately... I'm not a very smart girl.    

I shower and change at damn near the speed of light and within half an hour, I'm out the door again, heading for my car and getting ready to make my now routine drive across town.    

I swear, I could probably make this drive in my sleep by now.    

It doesn't take long before I pull into the driveway and grin stupidly at the sight of Justin, clad in a low slung pair of loose black sweatpants, chasing Buckley across the front yard.     

Let me take just a minute to brag and say that my boyfriend, is fucking beautiful. The insanely clear blue eyes, that perfect pouty mouth, and don't even get me started on the body. Seriously, it should be a crime for him to be running around showing off that perfectly sculpted chest.     

It's like no matter what the man does, he oozes sex appeal. Just watching him chase the damn dog makes me want to jump him. And I really couldn't care less who would see it.    

I step out of the car and laugh as Buckley comes barreling toward me, an almost dopey grin on his face. This dog adores me, and it pisses Justin off to no end.    

He pouts at the loss of his playmate before strolling over to me slowly and folding his arms over his bare chest. "You're not supposed to come between a man and his dog ya know."    

"I'm nicer than you. It's not my fault that he knows it too."    

"You're hilarious, really." He smiles sarcastically before nudging the dog out of the way and placing his hands on either side of my hips, pinning me between the car and his body. "So... what're you doing here?"    

"The warden let me off early for good behavior." I giggle as he rolls his eyes. "Jace only had the one interview set up for today. So, I've got the rest of the day off. Tomorrow however, is a whole other ball game."    

"He ain't playing around with this promotion shit is he?"    

"Apparently not. But... I don't wanna talk about it. I'm here now, so... no more work." I nod seriously as I slide my arms around his neck.    

Right away his lips connect with mine and I can't help but smile.  As silly as it sounds, he just makes me happy. Even when we're fighting, I'm happy just to be around him. He brings out this mushy, girly, romantic side of me, and I actually kind of like it.     

It sounds completely cliche, but I've honestly never felt like this before. Most of my past relationships were short lived and definitely never came anywhere near the L word. But Justin is... he's nothing like the other guys I've dated. I don't think I've ever known anyone who has the ability to make me want to strange the life out of them one minute, then the next, I can't keep my damn hands off of him.    

I can't even really pinpoint exactly what it is about him that makes me so crazy. I mean, obviously there's a pretty intense physical attraction, but it goes much deeper than that.     

He doesn't show it often, but there's an incredibly sweet side to him. He does everything in his power to show me just how much he cares. He makes me feel like the absolute most important, amazing, gorgeous woman on the planet, and honestly... who wouldn't totally melt over that?    

But, most importantly... he puts up with my bullshit.    

I know he doesn't enjoy this sneaking around stuff, but he does it, because it's what I wanted. He's amazingly selfless when it comes to me, and I really never expected that from him. I don't doubt him in the least anymore, and that's a pretty big deal for us. I don't have to constantly question his feelings, and I like that.    

It's only been a few months, but there's a security in our relationship. And I think everybody in the world wants that.    

When his mouth begins to travel down my neck and to my collar bone, my common sense conveniently decides to come back and kick me in the ass.    

We're making out.    

His hands are in some not so appropriate places.    

We are outside.    

There's almost always photographers lurking around the property.    

This is not intelligent.    

"Jus..." I trail off reluctantly. As much as I'd love to let him continue, I know I can't.    

We can't be seen like this. Plus, Trace could show up at any second, and that has disaster written all over it.    

"Justin." I say with a little more force this time. He hums out a response, his mouth never leaving my neck. "We should go inside."    

"Nope." He smirks before lifting me onto the hood of my car and positioning himself between my legs.     

This man is going to get me into all sorts of trouble someday, and I kind of don't mind.    

"What if somebody sees us?"    

"They're gonna get a damn good show I guess."    

"Justin!" I shriek and slap his arm playfully.    

"Oh come on... it might be kinda fun that way." He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and I can't help but laugh at him. He really is entirely too adorable for his own good.    

"Don't be a perv."    

"Alright, alright... you're no fun, ya know that?"    

"Oh trust me... I'm lots of fun." I grin as he kisses me quickly. He turns around suddenly and hooks his arms under my knees, and I slide my arms around his neck as he quickly hoists me onto his back, my legs wrapping around his waist.    

I don't think someone's given me a piggyback ride since I was about five. And I'm just a tad nervous about this.    

"If you drop me... I will kick your ass. I'm not kidding Justin."

"I got ya baby... no worries." He nods and heads into the house, me clinging to him for dear life.    

I can't stop the stupid grin that spreads across my face at his words. He's totally right. Call me a cornball, but Justin Timberlake does indeed have me. I'm completely hooked on him and whether or not he knows it, he's got me wrapped around his finger.    

The intensity of my feelings for him scares the hell out of me, but it's a good kind of scared. Almost like riding a roller coaster for the first time.    

You've got that nervous, excited feeling in the pit of your stomach and you're bracing yourself for the worst, positive you're going to plummet to your death. But, once the rides over.... you can't wait to do it again.    

That's exactly what being with Justin is like. No matter how scary it seems, I keep coming back for more.

************************    

"You don't have to do this ya know." Justin wraps his arms around my waist from behind and places a kiss on the back of my neck before resting his chin on my shoulder.    

"Who says it's for you?" I smirk and skillfully pour the batter into the waffle iron.    

"Oh, so you're gonna eat eight waffles on your own?"    

"Maybe." I shrug as he releases me and takes a seat at the table.    

I glance at the clock on the wall and can't stop the frown that takes over my face. I have exactly one hour to eat, get a shower, get dressed and get my ass to the radio station. If I'm late, Jace will probably murder me.    

I really shouldn't have spent the night here, but when Justin asked, it was damn near impossible to turn him down. But then again... it always is. I'm telling you... the man could ask me to jump off a fucking building, and I'd probably do it. I just can't say no to him.     

"So, this is it for awhile, isn't it?"    

"What ya mean?" I don't even bother to turn around and look at him because unfortunately, I know exactly what he means.    

After today... there's no telling what's going to happen to us. I mean yeah, I've been going non-stop all week, but today is kind of the beginning of the real insanity. The label is going to finalize all of the tour plans this afternoon, and from there, we'll be hiring the band, going into rehearsals, then finally heading out on the road.    

Obviously, Justin can't exactly show up at any of the stops, so this is going to make things incredibly difficult. And, I'm not really sure how we'll handle the distance.    

Suddenly, a wave of regret washes over me, and I feel like the worlds biggest idiot. This is my fault.    

Why the hell did I go through with the divorce? Why did I have to be too damn proud to listen to him? Really... I'm just being selfish. I didn't take his feelings or what he wanted into consideration because I was too damn worried about myself.    

Thanks to my stupidity... our time together is in jeopardy.     

If I would have just listened to him, and not gone through with the divorce... he could probably join me on tour, and we wouldn't have an issue.    

But then again... if it wasn't for the divorce, we might not be together at all.    

"Well... your shit's about to pick back up. I can't really come follow you around or anything. So.... this is pretty much it."    

"Yeah... I guess so." I smile sadly. "We'll talk all the time though."    

"I know. It still just fucking sucks."    

He looks so childlike and innocent now, his chin resting in his palm, a distinctive pout on his lips. He looks absolutely adorable.    

And it makes me want to leave even less.        

This just might be much harder than either of us are anticipating.

************************    

I think I've finally discovered what the worst aspect of fame is. These mind numbing fuckin interviews.    

They're all exactly the same, and I'm not sure how many more of them I can handle. I mean... it wouldn't be so bad if they focused on my work rather than my personal life. But... it seems that people are only interested in the downfall of my marriage.    

What happened? Why did it end? Did Justin cheat? Did I cheat? Why did we get married in the first place? Are the songs on the new album about Justin? Do we still talk?    

I swear to God... I never thought I'd get as sick of hearing his name as I am right now. I'm doing promotion for my album for Christ sake. The last thing I want to talk about is my supposedly failed marriage, but... my obvious discomfort on the subject hasn't phased them in the least.    

And naturally, Jc is livid. He's so terrified that my involvement with Justin is going to overshadow the album. But honestly... as much as I hate to say it, I think it's helping. People seem to be incredibly interested in what the nut case who divorced Justin Timberlake has to say. It's done nothing but boost my album sales.    

But... Jace is going to think whatever he wants, no matter what the sales figures show.    

"Alright, the next one is the Entertainment Weekly thing I told you about. They'll do the interview, take a few pictures, then you're done." He nods and shoots me that fake smile he usually reserves for the media and fans who bug him when he's trying to eat.    

I take a seat and pick at my chipped, black nail polish as I wait for the reporter. If this doesn't take too terribly long, I just might have enough time to swing past Justin's tonight. Which is most definitely a good thing.    

"Hi Madison... how are you?"    

"I'm good. How are..." The words quickly die in my throat when I look up and see the short, skinny brunette approaching me.    

What. The. Fuck.    

I clearly remember telling this bitch to stay as far away from me as humanly possible. What the hell is she doing here?    

She takes the seat across from me and smiles brightly. "It's been awhile, huh?"    

"Yeah Beth. It's been... awhile." I mutter, fighting the urge to knock her lights out.     

Unfortunately... I have to keep my cool. There are far too many people around, and letting her know exactly how I feel, isn't an option.    

As much as I don't want to, I have to play nice. For now.     

"Look... I'd love to catch up, but I'm.... busy." I nod, doing nothing to mask the disgust or hatred in my voice.    

"Oh, that's alright. I'm doing the interview." She shoots me another sickeningly sweet smile, and suddenly... I'd love nothing more than to put my fist through the fucking wall.    

Honestly, what in the hell did I do to deserve this shit?    

I've never killed anyone. Never stole anything. I mean... is this my karma for lying to the entire world?    

Furthermore, how the fuck did she get a job at Entertainment Weekly? I specifically told Jace that any job reference we gave her, would be a shitty one.     

"So... let's get started." She smiles and flips on her tape recorder before grabbing her notebook and pen. "So, the new album is out now and seems to be doing fairly well already. After the last album flopped, what were your expectations for this one?"        

I swallow the lump in my throat and let out a loud sigh. Alright... she's sticking to the work side of things. Maybe... maybe this won't be so terrible. But... after this, I'm getting a fucking restraining order.     

If I'm lucky, I'll get through this thing as quickly and easily as possible. I'll keep my answers vague, and short. This backstabbing bitch has already sold me out once, I'm sure she wouldn't hesitate to do it a second time.     

"We didn't really have any expectations. I just wanted to put out the best work I could, and I think we managed that. I'm very proud of this album."    

"Good to hear." She nods, that stupid smile still plastered on her face. "What are your touring plans this year?"    

"Well, right now we're looking at a 32 city tour. Hopefully we can bring on a few really great opening acts, and... it'll be cool."     

Things continue in this manner for the next hour or so. She asks about the music, my plans for the future, if I'll ever venture into acting.     

She's asking the kind of questions the other reporters should have.    

But... just when I'm thinking Beth Preston... Cook, whatever the fuck her name is, has changed her money hungry ways, she shoots every last good thought I was having, completely to hell.    

"So Madison... why did you let Johnny Wright talk you into staying married to Justin Timberlake?"    

"Excuse me?" I do nothing to hide the venom in my voice. She's got some fucking nerve coming in here and pulling this shit on me out of nowhere. Johnny's gonna have her fucking head if this gets out.    

"You and Justin didn't know each other until the night you were married. Mr. Wright demanded that the two of you remain married to keep Justin's image intact, and you agreed to it. Care to explain?"    

I hear pounding footsteps on the porch and a second later, the front door swings open, banging loudly against the wall.    

What the fucking hell?    

I jump up from my seat on the couch and move into the hallway. I'm met instantly with a fuming Madison and suddenly, every move I've made since she left this morning is flashing through my mind. I haven't even left the house,so there's no way this is directed at me.    

"Maddie, what's wrong baby?" I ask as calmly as I can manage.     

"She... she... she fucking set me up!" She cries, the tears quickly forming in her eyes. "When she asked, I just... I froze, and the next thing I knew... I was here."    

"What the hell are you talking about?"    

"Beth." She mumbles before pushing past me into the living room and throwing herself down on the couch. "The Entertainment Weekly interview Jace set up... Beth was the reporter. And at first, everything was fine. Then out of fucking nowhere, she asked why I agreed to stay married to you. I didn't know what the hell to say, so I just left."

"Shit Madison..." I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose.    

This is bad.    

Really, really fucking bad.    

"Jc's been calling me non-stop and I didn't know what to fucking do... so I came here." She sniffles, the tears now freely streaming down her cheeks.        

Shit.    

I guess it sounds stupid, but I thought this would stay buried. I thought Johnny's threats of legal action were enough to keep anyone quiet. I mean, the guy is pretty fucking scary when he wants to be.    

I was naive enough to believe that this wouldn't come out. Clearly, I'm a moron.    

But, I'm sure you already knew that.    

And of course, it just had to be Beth. As if she hadn't done enough damage the first time around.    

"Why didn't you just leave when you saw her? You could have refused to do the interview, ya know."    

"Oh, so now it's my fault?" She asks, the anger flashing in her eyes.    

"That's not what I'm saying and you know it. Don't fucking attack me, Madison. I'm on your side here."    

She nods slowly and swipes at the tears rolling down her cheeks. "I was... I was just so surprised to see her. And I really didn't think she had the balls to call me out like that."    

"What'd Jace say?"    

"He wasn't around... till I left anyway. He kept calling me and I finally turned my phone off."    

"Alright... just... just calm down, and I'll call Johnny."    

If anybody can clean this mess up, it'd be him.    

The only problem is, we don't know how far Beth plans on taking this. The fact that Madison didn't answer her is a good thing, but... Beth got a reaction.    

And that probably says more than Madison ever could.

*******************    

"What in the hell possessed you to do something so God damn stupid? Is it impossible for you to keep your dick in your pants?" Johnny shouts and rolls his eyes.    

I should have expected this.    

When I called him, I simply told him I was on my way to his office. There was just no way I was going to tell him everything over the phone. Unfortunately, for him to really understand what happened this morning, I had to start at the beginning.     

I had to tell him all about the hell I went through those first few months Madison and I were married. Had to give him all the lurid details on how we became much more than enemies. Spilled my guts about why she really pushed for the divorce so soon, and of course... I had to tell him that we've been an actual couple for the last three months. Which, he pretty much flipped over.    

However, when I told him about Beth.... it barely even phased him.    

So, I've spent the last half an hour listening to him rant and rave about what an idiot I am. Like I didn't already know, but that's beside the point.    

We have a real issue here. He needs to focus a little more on that, and less on what I do with my dick.     

"Johnny.... come on man, there's more important shit going on here."    

"No there isn't. You said Madison didn't answer the question, therefore Beth doesn't have a story. Our problem is that you've gotten yourself into a situation I can't get you out of." He sighs and shakes his head sadly. "I don't know how to spin this Justin. It'll bring up too many questions and I don't have the answers for them. You need to end it."    

"You've got to be fucking joking."

"No, I'm quite serious actually. End it Justin." He says firmly.    

I've taken a lot of his shit over the years, but this is the last fucking straw. He may have control over everything else in my life, but my personal shit is not up for grabs. I'm not letting this happen.    

"No."    

"Justin, I'm serious. This isn't up for debate."    

"You're God damn right it's not. I'm not doing it Johnny. I love that girl, and face it... it's partially your fault. You're the one who came up with the brilliant idea for us to stay married. If it wasn't for you... this never would have happened."    

"Look, I don't give two shits how it happened. Get rid of her Justin."    

"Fuck you Johnny. I'm done." I rise from my seat and glare down at him for good measure. "I've had it man. I can't do this shit anymore. Sue me for breach of contract, whatever... I don't care. I'm just... done." I nod as Johnny's jaw damn near hits the floor. I grab my keys and quickly head out of his office, before I have the chance to change my mind.    

I did it... I finally fucking stood up to Johnny Wright. And it felt damn good.    

But, I also just walked away from a career most people can only dream about.    

And honestly, it doesn't feel too bad either.    

I don't care what kind of bullshit lawsuits they throw my way. I feel like a free man for the first time in... well, ever actually. I've always been told where to go, what to say, how to act. But, those days are over.    

I'm taking control of my life for the first time since the day I was born. If I want to record or perform... it's gonna be on my terms. I've got a studio, the production skills and plenty of money. I don't need a manager or a label, or any of the other bullshit that's consumed my life for the past 10 years.    

So now... I'm gonna go home, get my girlfriend, and take her out.    

And I don't give a flying fuck who sees it.

**********************    

"So, what's he doing about Beth?"    

"Nothing." I shrug and grab a beer. "He said since you didn't answer, she doesn't have a story."    

"Yeah, but... she can print it anyway. She's probably got some proof from Vegas to back the whole thing up too."    

"Fuck her." I shrug again and take a long swig of my drink. "It doesn't matter anymore."    

"How the hell does it not matter Justin? She could ruin us."    

"I quit. I told Johnny I was done and, I meant it. I can't play the fuckin game anymore. When he told me to dump you... that was just... that was it. I just can't do it anymore."    

"Have you completely lost your fucking mind?" She shrieks and slaps my arm roughly. "You don't just quit the music industry Justin!"    

"Why the hell not?"    

"Because you just.... can't." She mutters and rolls her eyes. "What do you expect to live on? You perform to make money, ya know. And... what about your fans? What about those millions of people who have invested ridiculous amounts of time and money in you? What about the people who work for you? They have families Justin! How could you be so damn selfish?" If I didn't know any better, I'd swear she almost sounds... hurt.    

Honestly, I'm really not getting the reaction I expected here. I figured she'd be thrilled about this. She's constantly bitching about how I never stand up for myself and when I finally do, this is how she responds.    

Besides, this really doesn't have anything to do with her. My life. My career. My decision. She shouldn't be all up in arms about it.     

"Well sweetheart... I don't know if you noticed or not, but I kind of have more money than God, so I think I'm set on that front."    

"Oh don't be a prick Justin." She spits out, the anger clear as day in her voice. "You know I hate that shit. Bottom line is... you can't do this. You should have atleast talked to me first. We're supposed to be a team, remember?"    

Oh she did not just go there.    

That "team" shit is reserved for married couples, as far as I'm concerned. And, we no longer fall into that category because of her. I swear, sometimes... I think she really buys into that marriage shit. I can't even count how many times I've caught her in what I would call "wifely behavior."    

If she hadn't gone all independent on me and shit... she'd still be my wife. But oh no... she wasn't having any of that.    

Honestly, it's kinda funny how we're only a team when it's for her benefit. If our roles were reversed, I guarantee she'd be pulling that "it's my life" horseshit.     

I swear... you can't fucking win with this girl.     

I'm not asking her to jump up and down or throw me a party or anything, I'd just like a little support.     

"I'm not being a prick. It's a fact. I don't ever have to work another day in my life, and I'll be more than fine. As for my fans... they'll move onto the next decent looking guy with an alright voice. And the people who work for me... will find new jobs. In a month, nobody's gonna give a shit about me."    

"You're so wrong. So completely wrong." She says quietly and shakes her head.    

"Madison... can't you atleast pretend to be happy for me? I finally feel like this huge weight is off my shoulders. I don't have to be everybody's perfect little pet for the first time in my life. I needed to do this."    

She nods slowly, but the frown never leaves her face. "I support you no matter what." Is her robotic reply.        

I know she doesn't mean a word of it, but I'll take it, for now atleast.     

"Now see... that wasn't so hard, was it?" I grin and slip my hands around her waist.  She rolls her eyes, but I know if I sweet talk her for a few more minutes, I'll wear her down.     

Although... sex does seem to be better when she's mad at me. Maybe I should start bragging about my money again. That always seems to get her good and pissed off.     

"You're gonna regret it." She mumbles and leans into me. "In a couple days, when the rush wears off... you're gonna regret all of this. Trust me."    

"So, I'll do my own thing. Maybe it's just time for me to be in charge, ya know?"

"Whatever you say." She forces a smile and rests her head against my chest.    

A small part of me is afraid she could be right, but deep down... I know I did the best thing for me. I've played by everybody else's rules for far too long. It's about damn time I did something for myself.    

I just can't figure out when I became the one with a backbone. Madison is supposed to be the strong, independent one. But now, it's almost like she's becoming what I used to be. She's turning into this spineless, weak, industry product and that scares the hell out of me.     

Like today, I tried to get her to go out to dinner with me, and she flat out wouldn't do it. She said she was scared somebody might see us.    

I can't even count how many times I've said that same kind of shit to past girlfriends.    

Personally, I don't care who sees us or what they think. But whatever. I can't force her.    

For awhile there, I honestly thought her spark was coming back, but obviously... I was wrong. And now, this whole Beth thing has obliterated the last little bit of it.    

I don't know what the hell Jace or the label are planning to do about this mess, but it better be damn good.

*********************    

Loud banging on my bedroom door jolts me awake suddenly, and I roll over, my arms sliding around Madison, before I pull her against my chest.    

She spent the night again last night and it was... fantastic. Make-up sex is by far the best. I won't bore you with the details, but it was fuckin hot. We'll leave it at that.    

She groans as her eyes flutter open and she sinks deeper into the mattress. "What's that noise?" She asks groggily.    

"Probably Trace coming to bitch me out about....something."    

"Make him leave." She mutters and scoots away, giving me room to crawl out of bed.     

I make my way to the door and swing it open, expecting to be met with a very angry short person, instead... I'm face to face with Jc Chasez.    

And he doesn't look happy.    

"Jace... what's up man?" I chuckle nervously, fully aware that his only client is in my bed, half naked.     

"I need to talk to her Justin. And don't fuck with me... I know she's here. I saw her car."    

"Oh..umm... alright... I'll.. let me just... I'll wake her up." I stutter before I shut the door again.    

Shit.

I almost forgot how scary Jace is when he's fucking pissed. He sets his jaw and it's like there's this fire in his eyes and you can't really tell exactly what he's capable of.     

Luckily, whatever he's here for, doesn't seem to be about me. But, I've got a bad feeling that he's about to read Madison the riot act, probably because she walked out on that fucked up interview yesterday.    

"Madison.... baby, you gotta get up."    

"No I don't." She mumbles and turns away from me. "Just come back to bed."    

"Jace is here."    

Her eyes fly open and she sits straight up in bed, a look of panic sweeping across her features. "Shit. I don't wanna see him! He's gonna fucking kill me!"    

"No he's not." I lie. "He just wants to talk. He's probably here to apologize for yesterday."    

"Oh yeah.... yeah. You're right." She nods unsurely and climbs out of bed. She heads for the door slowly, still clad in just my baggy black T-shirt.    

I give her an encouraging smile as she opens the door and steps out into the hallway. I can just barely make out their muffled voices through the door before finally, their discussion turns heated and they both get louder with each word. I know I shouldn't be listening to this, but it's like a damn car wreck or something. I just can't bring myself to turn away.    

"You just can't do shit like that! Do you have any idea how unprofessional walking out on an interview is? Especially one that big?"    

"It was Beth!" Madison screams angrily. "And she... she was calling me out on Justin. I didn't know what to do!"

"You answer the fucking question. How hard is that?"    

"Oh, so you want me to admit that the whole marriage was fake?"    

"Yes! That's exactly what I wanted! You know damn well I approve the questions you get asked. You should have known you were being asked that for a reason Madison!"    

"What?" Her screech seems to echo throughout the entire house and I cringe.    

This is exactly what I was afraid of.    

Jace has become just as money hungry as Johnny and the rest of those industry fucks. They couldn't care less about the happiness or well being of their artists. It's all about the publicity and finding new ways to make a quick buck.     

And that's exactly why I had to get out.    

This story is going to be huge, if and when it breaks. Every outlet is going to want Madison's story and they'll be more than willing to pay top dollar for it. Which means, Jace will be raking in an insane amount of money for pimping her out to every media source there is.     

It's sick when you sit back and think about just how much of the world is driven by money. People will do any damn thing they can to get their hands on it and it's fuckin pathetic.     

"Get dressed. Get your shit and let's go. I called Entertainment Weekly this morning and Beth's willing to let you finish the interview."    

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm not. Go fuck yourself Jace."    

"Come on Madison, I don't have time for this shit."    

"And I don't need a manager who's only out to fuck me over. I don't know what's happened to you this past year, but you've turned into a person I can't stand and I've just... I've had enough. You're fired Jc."    

"You're gonna regret that Madison. Mark my words."    

"Maybe I will... maybe I won't."        

The door opens once again and Madison strolls inside before collapsing onto the bed and curling up beside me. As soon as I wrap an arm around her, she starts to sob uncontrollably and all I can do is listen to her cry.    

I wish I could understand why the people closest to this girl are so dead set on their own agendas, that they don't give a shit how it affects her.    

Beth wanted to further her career. Chelsea is out for a childish form of revenge. Jc is willing to completely sell her out and destroy her public image, all for his own notoriety and some money.    

This is what the music industry has become. It's all about greed and personal gain.    

And Madison Fox is it's latest victim.

*****************    

"In a statement released this morning, Jc Chasez has confirmed that he has cut all ties with RCA records, as well as Madison Fox.     

Earlier this week, Chasez, and Fox's former personal assistant, Beth Cook, both outed the singer on the validity of her marriage to Justin Timberlake.     

The couple's marriage was reportedly a sham, set up to protect Timberlake's public image. However, the two have reportedly been dating quietly for the last several months.    

Chasez and Cook plan to write a tell-all book, detailing their time working for Fox, who's long had a party-girl reputation, the marriage to Timberlake, the failure of her second album, and the comeback success of her third studio record. Reps for Fox refuse to comment on the story, or the supposed marriage.    

Meanwhile, Timberlake has been M.I.A for the last few weeks. His manager, Johnny Wright and reps for Jive records have yet to release a statement on the marriage, his relationship with Fox, or Chasez's upcoming book.    

We'll keep you posted on this story as information becomes available. Stay tuned to MTV for music news at 10 to the hour, every hour."  

"What are you doing?" I question as I enter Justin's bedroom and watch as he tosses half of his wardrobe into an open suitcase.    

"I'm doing what everybody does when shit gets out of control." He shrugs and examines a pair of jeans before throwing them back into the closet. "I'm going home."    

My eyes widen at his statement and the anger quickly courses through me. That's just like a man...to leave when the going gets tough.    

Honestly, I didn't expect something like this from Justin. I figured his breaking loose from Johnny was a sure sign that he's finally taking matters into his own hands. But, things aren't going exactly the way I expected.    

Justin walking away from his career was just the beginning. From there, everything has snowballed and we've landed ourselves in our biggest mess yet.    

In light of Jc outing us to the world, my career is once again suffering, thanks to the chaos in my personal life. RCA has postponed everything involving me. Promotion, the tour, appearances, you name it. So, I've got a lot of time on my hands until a suitable replacement for Jc is found. And God only knows how long that could take.    

The weird thing though, my album sales keep increasing. Which, I'm definitely not complaining about, but it's all kind of bittersweet. I mean, ok yeah... the album is doing ten times better than we could have hoped for, but everything around me has gone to shit.    

I guess success comes at a price.     

I just never thought that price would be having my manager, someone I trusted and considered one of my best friends, stab me in the back.    

I still just can't really grasp the situation. Jace was never the greedy type... why did that suddenly change? I refuse to believe he did this just for money.    

But then again... there's the book. Honestly, that just... I don't think words can even begin to describe how shocked, angry and hurt I'm feeling about that. Selling me out was one thing, but do they really need to write an entire book and air all of my dirty laundry?    

On the flip side though, thanks to the insanity around us, Justin and I don't have to hide anymore. When Jace started talking, he didn't hold a single thing back, including the fact that Justin and I are together now. And I still don't know how the hell he even found that out. He's probably had someone spying on me all along or something.    

In a way, I'm kind of grateful that some things are out in the open. For the first time, Justin and I don't have to walk on eggshells. We can just be together and not worry about anyone else.    

If Justin wasn't around for all of this, I probably would have ended up in a padded cell months ago. Things are coming at me from a million different directions at once, and it's more than a little overwhelming. But, Justin is a pro at this sort of thing. He's been through it before and he knows how to handle it. When I'm freaking out, he knows exactly how to calm me down. If I need to talk, he listens. When I ask for advice, he's always right there.    

As corny and cliche as it sounds, he's been my rock through all of this.    

Until now.    

Now, he's planning to leave me here to clean this mess up on my own, and I'm not so sure I can handle that. I need him more now, than I ever did.    

"That's great." I mutter and roll my eyes. "You're gonna go run to mommy, while I get hit with the shitstorm by myself. You're a real stand up guy, ya know that?" He stops his packing and stares at me, his head coked to the side and an amused smile on his face.    

Of course, he thinks this is funny. I swear, he's such a fucking prick sometimes.     

I know, I was just raving about how wonderful he is and now I'm calling him a prick. I'm going through a rough patch, I'm allowed to act like a schizoid sometimes.    

"Why do you always do that?" He asks suddenly, that stupid smirk never leaving his face.    

"What?"    

"Get all mad and shit and try to pick a fight before you know what's going on."    

"I don't!" I scoff at him and take a seat on his bed. "You just said you were leaving!"    

"Yeah, but you oughta know by now that I'm not gonna take off without you. I go... you go. It's a rule." He grins and plops down next to me.    

And just like that... he's right back to being amazing.    

"What about Chelsea and Trace?"    

"They're coming too." He nods and gently pushes me onto my back before he crawls on top of me, his knees resting on either side of my hips. "I just thought we could use some time away from the bullshit. The media stuff is getting a little crazy and I just... I wanna go hide for awhile."    

"A warning would have been nice."    

"Yeah, but that ruins it. The surprise is the fun part."    

"You act more like a little kid everyday." I giggle as he leans forward, his mouth hovering over mine.    

"You love me." He smiles as his lips brush over mine with each word.    

"What the hell are we gonna do Justin?" I sigh loudly and roll my eyes.    

As great as he's been the past couple weeks, we haven't really come to a solution about any of the issues we're facing.    

There's no telling what the hell Jc and Beth are going to put in that damn book. Justin still hasn't heard a word from Johnny or the label. We're being hounded day and night to tell our side of the story. It's one big fucking mess and so far, all we've done is hide.    

Neither one of us has released a statement or given a single interview. Even when we're out and we're being followed, we ignore the countless questions being shot at us. We haven't done a damn thing about any of this crap. And, we don't even have a plan.    

Unfortunately, we can't ignore all of this forever. At some point, we have to speak up or do something to defend ourselves. This isn't gonna go away, no matter how much we wish it would.    

"It's gonna be fine." He smiles and kisses me sweetly. "Trust me... it'll work out, and we'll be fine."    

I want to believe him. I really, really do. But something in my gut tells me otherwise.    

But then again... who knows?    

Things with Justin have this way of always falling into place, no matter how shitty it is. Maybe this is one of those things, and I'm overreacting.    

But, I'm not going to get my hopes up. I'm preparing for the absolute worst, because I'm so damn tired of being let down.

**********************    

"Why are you watching this crap?" Justin groans as he sits up in bed. "You know it's all bullshit."    

"Not all of it." I mumble, not taking my eyes off of the screen.    

I really do hate E! News, but with everything that's been going on, I feel like I need to watch it. At this point, I wouldn't put it past Beth or Jc to be selling their story on here.    

I know Justin sees his hometown as some kind of sanctuary, but for me... it's like being on a whole other planet. I feel completely removed from my every day life, and I'm not too fond of that. Especially when things are so crazy. I should be in L.A, trying to straighten all of this out, not hiding in Tennessee.    

The TV is shut off suddenly and I turn around from my spot at the foot of the bed to scowl at him. "I was watching that."    

"I know." He shrugs and shoots me a smug smile.    

Normally, I'd probably fight him for the remote, but I'm far too comfortable to even think about moving, much less get into a struggle with him. Before I know it, he's crawling on top of me, and gently sitting down on my butt.    

Well, I was comfortable, now I'm just smashed into the mattress. He is such a punk sometimes.    

His hands slide under his oversized Tennessee Titans jersey I'm wearing, and his fingers being slowly massaging the small of my back.     

Alright, maybe this isn't so bad after all.    

His hands continue to move up my back, stopping every few seconds to work out some of the tension before he finally reaches my shoulders.    

As his fingers knead my skin, I can't stop the loud groan of pleasure that escapes. He chuckles softly and I can just picture him shaking his head.        

"Feel good?"    

"Oh God... you have no idea." I mumble.    

"See? I told you, you need to just chill out. You can't let this shit get to you."    

"Shut up, and don't stop."    

I don't want to talk about anything, especially our present situation, while he's doing that. I just want to lay here, let his hands work their magic and enjoy the feeling of all the built up stress leaving my body.    

I know I've been losing my cool a lot these last couple months, but how could I not? I've been through hell and back lately. And, just when I think things are settling into a calm, something else comes along and knocks me on my ass.    

Honestly, the only thing that's kept me going is Justin. As much as I hate to say it, I've even accepted the fact that I'm slowly but surely losing my best friend.    

I know Chelsea's holding in a lot of resentment toward me, and that's led to her not only shutting me out, but hiding things as well.     

In a way, I get it. I lied to her face for months, when I should have just come clean. But, if she wants us to remain friends, she's got to learn to let it go. I couldn't avoid the lies I had to tell. I made a commitment and I wasn't going to break it. For some reason, she just doesn't seem to understand that, and I've got a bad feeling she never will.

I've explained. I apologized. I did everything I could to right my wrong doing, but none of it was good enough for her. Unfortunately, it's got me wondering if maybe it's pointless to keep trying.    

Maybe our friendship is just broken beyond repair.    

"Alright, your turn." Justin says suddenly as he pulls off his T-shirt and moves to lay on his stomach. I roll my eyes before sitting down on his butt, and running my hands along the smooth skin of his back.    

He's been doing an excellent job of putting up this strong front, but I know deep down, he's terrified. He knows Johnny and the label could completely wipe him out. He knows the fate of both our careers is pretty much in Jc's hands. Despite all of that, he's doing everything imaginable to make me believe that everything's going to work out.    

The truth is, neither one of us can even begin to guess what's going to happen. But, I think as long as we've got each other to lean on, we'll be alright.    

"I love you." I whisper as I lean down and kiss his bare shoulder.    

It sounds stupid, but sometimes, it's kind of difficult to be angry and bitter about everything that's happened. If it hadn't been for all of this insane bullshit, I wouldn't be here with him right now. He's by far the best thing that's ever happened to me, and even if everything does go straight to hell, it was worth it, simply because it gave me Justin.    

"I love you too." He murmurs.    

"Oh yeah? prove it." I whisper seductively and bite at his ear lobe.    

In a flash, he's flipped over and pinned me underneath of him, his fingers digging into my sides. He grinds his hips against mine and I have to bite my lip to hide the huge grin spreading across my face.    

I love how, at the mere implication of sex, he's ready to go in about two seconds. It's like he never gets tired of being with me and I love that about him. He's always more than willing to show me just how much I mean to him.    

Based on my past experience I've learned, that's pretty rare. A lot of guys don't bother to go those few extra steps, but Justin does. He loves me, and he has no problem letting me know it.    

I sit up and let him pull my jersey off before he tosses it on the floor, and pushes me onto my back once again.  He wiggles out of his boxers before his mouth takes up its usual residence on my neck and he quickly peels off my boyshorts, pulling them down my legs and discarding them on the floor.    

He props himself up on his elbows and stars down at me like it's the first time he's ever seen me, making me feel slightly self conscious under his intense gaze.    

"I'm so completely fucking in love with you Madison."    

I can't help but giggle and roll my eyes at his choice of words. He may not be eloquent, but damnit... he's adorable when he says stuff like that.        

I'm kind of glad he isn't the type to make all these corny, long winded speeches. I like the silly, sometimes awkward and frustrating way he does things. He says exactly what he feels, even if it's not always worded properly. In a weird way, it makes him normal.    

He chuckles and shakes his head before entering me slowly, my hips rolling up to meet his immediately. He sets a slow, steady pace with his thrusts and each time he slams into me, I feel like he's about to break me in half.    

I don't know exactly what's going on right now, but being with Justin has never been this... intense, I guess is the right word. Usually it's fairly quick and our sole focus is getting each other off, but this... this is just, different. There's almost a desperation behind every move he makes.    

It's completely cliche and corny, but... I think he's making love to me, rather than just having sex with me. And yes, I'm a firm believer that there is a difference.    

"I love you Maddie." The words roll off his tongue again, and I simply nod.    

Suddenly, a huge realization washes over me.    

We're going to be ok.    

All of the nonsense going on around us will eventually pass, and as long as we're still together at the end of it... we're going to be perfectly fine.

"We look like morons." I mutter as I follow closely behind Madison.    

"No we don't. Just shut up so we can get this over with." She huffs and tugs awkwardly at the blonde wig on her head.    

I swear to God, I don't know how or why I let her talk me into this shit. It's exactly 12:05 on a very early Tuesday morning and what am I doing? Following my lunatic girlfriend through fucking Wal-Mart, both of us decked out in hooded sweatshirts, sunglasses and, in an attempt to draw even more unwanted attention to ourselves, she just had to go and wear that damn wig.    

We look like we're out of our fucking minds.    

"Why didn't you just have them send you a copy?"    

"Are you crazy?" She laughs bitterly. "No way in hell am I letting them think I care enough to read this piece of shit."    

"Yeah, this clearly shows just how much you don't care sweetheart." I mutter. I can't be sure if she actually heard me or not, but she doesn't respond.    

Jc's book officially hit stores at midnight and Madison was damn near chomping at the bit to run out and get it. But, she doesn't want anyone to know.     

Personally, I don't see what the big deal is. When RCA sends her back to work, people are going to ask her if she's read it, and even if she says no, they'll assume she's lying. I figure, she may as well have had Jace send her a copy.     

But, she's stubborn. Once she makes up her mind, you'll be hard pressed to change it.    

"Found it!" She yanks the book off the shelf and holds it up for me to see the cover.    

Call me an asshole, but I kind of want to laugh. The cover photo is the two of us, wasted out of our minds, leaving that stupid chapel the night we got married. But, the title, in bold red letters is the icing on the cake.    

"What Happens In Vegas..... Doesn't Always Stay There: The Truth Behind The Lies Of Madison Fox And Justin Timberlake."    

Oh yeah Jace, real fucking creative. Not.    

We quickly make our way to the check out and Madison pays for her book, cash of course... because she can't be enough of a paranoid freak. I love the girl, I really truly do, but sometimes... I have to question her sanity.     

"Oh my God... listen to this dedication." Madison giggles as I start the car and peel out of the parking lot. "To Madison: I apologize for the way things ended. I never intended for you to get hurt. The problems that arose were not about you, and I hope this book doesn't affect you negatively. All my best, Jace. Can you believe that shit? If he didn't want to hurt me, he should have thought of that before he decided to write a fucking book." She scoffs and begins flipping through the pages.    

If that's the dedication to her, I can't wait to see what mine says. If Jace knows what's good for him, he'll practically be down on his hands and knees begging my forgiveness.     

"What's mine say?" I ask and chuckle, just imaging the profound way Jc probably kisses my ass on paper.    

"Well...." She lets out a long sigh and closes the book. "There... there isn't one."    

"Cute Madison. Just read it."    

"There's nothing to read."    

"Seriously?" I pull the car over and rip the book from her hands, quickly thumbing through the pages, in search of my apology.   

 Just like she said, there isn't one.    

Not even so much as a "Fuck off and die, Justin."    

What the hell?    

This thing could screw with me just as much as it could her, I mean... let's say I try to make it on my own and nobody wants anything to do with me because of this. So, where the fuck is my apology?    

I've been through the same shitty year she has. Why does she get a sliver of an explanation, while I get nothing?    

"We're going over there." I seethe and toss the book into her lap before slamming my foot down on the gas.    

"What? Why?"    

"Because... if he can't apologize to me on paper, he's gonna do it to my God damn face. I deserve an apology just as much as you do."    

"Justin... come on. Let's just go home. We don't even know what's in here. We'll go home, read it, and go from there, ok?"    

"No. Fuck that. I'm dealing with this now."    

"Justin... please?" She begs, but my mind is made up.     

I'm going to beat an apology out of his ass if I have to.

*****************    

I stare up at the white door in front of me and crack my knuckles. Madison fidgets beside me as I slowly raise my hand to knock, and I have to fight the urge to tell her to stop acting like a freak.    

I know she's completely against us being here, but something has to be done. A small part of me is wondering just how genuine the apology in the book is, but I'm not about to tell her that.    

Although, if she's as smart as I think she is, she'll realize Jace probably threw that in there for some extra publicity.    

The door finally swings open and Jc appears in front of us, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. I'm kind of amazed he's got time to sleep in the middle of all the potential life ruining he's been doing lately.    

"Madison? What the hell are you doing here? What time is it?"    

"You gonna let us in or what?" I bark before she has a chance to answer him.     

"What do you want Justin?" Jc asks, his voice dripping with boredom and disdain.     

"We need to talk." I reply simply.     

He moves aside to let us in, and before he can utter a single word, I start in on him. Why did he sell us out? Why the book? What about my apology? Just... why?    

"Look man, I had my reasons, alright? Just let it go." He sighs and shakes his head. "Harping on it isn't going to change anything, just... just let it go."    

"Let it go?" I laugh bitterly and roll my eyes. Does he really think I'm that fucking stupid? "You tell me Jace... would you let it go? How about I go public with some of your not so squeaky clean shit, huh?"    

"Jace... just... just tell us why, that's all we want." Madison says calmly, keeping her gaze fixed on the tan carpet.    

Ya know, I kind of expected her to be the one freaking out. I mean, she doesn't handle pressure or confrontation all that well. I thought for sure she'd crack as soon as we got here, but she's putting on a brave face, ready to take whatever bullshit Jc's gonna throw at us.     

Sometimes, I really doubt Madison's strength, but in situations like these, she comes through. She's got that backbone when it really counts, and I guess that's all that really matters.     

"It wasn't about you Madison... I swear, none of it was about you."    

"Well, I'm the one paying for it." She finally looks up at Jace and there's no masking the venom in her voice or the fire in her eyes. "We deserve an explanation... you owe us that much."    

"Alright, look... I'm sorry, ok? Madison... I swear, I was just trying to help you."    

"Help her? How the fuck are you helping? Believe it or not Jace, people don't take too kindly to being lied to. The whole God damn world is gonna turn on her when they read that book. And me.. I'm already fucked. I walked away from my career because of the bullshit you've been putting us through."    

"It's always about you, isn't it Justin?" He chuckles humorlessly and shakes his head. "And you're one to talk about lying."    

"Excuse me?" I'm really trying to not deck him, but it's getting harder by the second, and unless he's got a damn good excuse for all of this shit, I just might do it.    

"She was set man... that second album would have been huge... I'd been busting my ass for four years, just to see her make it and... then you came along. When I got the call about the shit you two pulled in Vegas, I knew that was it. I knew it was going to over shadow every damn thing I'd done for her...and I was fucking right. She almost lost her record deal because of you, Justin. Every shitty thing that's happened to her this past year, was because of you. I tried to talk Johnny into the quiet annulment thing, but he just wouldn't fucking listen, I knew I had to do something, and that's where Beth came in."    

An awkward silence settles over the room, and I'm just itching to knock his lights out, but I'll atleast let him finish. I know there's more to his story, and I'm going to hear every bit of it before I send his ass to the hospital.    

"I knew all along who she really was, and I was just waiting for the right moment to get rid of her, but then... then I realized, I could use her to my advantage, and I did. Didn't you two ever notice that all the shit that got printed, was negative to you, Justin? Madison, all I wanted, was to push him out of the picture. He already fucked up my career, I wasn't about to let him ruin yours too."    

"Oh my god... you're joking right?" I can't help but laugh at him. Is he seriously still hung up on something that happened 6 fucking years ago? I mean, ok fine... I'm the one to blame for the groups "hiatus", but it's not my fault he couldn't succeed outside of that.     

"No I'm not... if you hadn't gone all fucking high and mighty on us, I wouldn't be stuck as a manager. I'd still be writing, performing..."    

"Jace... RCA offered you a deal!" Madison shrieks.     

"Yeah... to do a fucking cover album, they wanted to pick the material, and the ironic thing... they wanted me to do one of his songs."    

This guy has gone off the fucking deep end. There's no other way to explain it. He's certifiable.     

"So, what? You were trying to get even for something that wasn't my fault to begin with?"    

"You just don't get it, do you? The other shit doesn't even matter, I was trying to protect my client. I knew you'd ruin her, and I was going to do everything I could to stop it."    

"So you write a fucking book about all the lies I told?" She shakes her head sadly and stands from her seat. "I'm amazed Jace, I really am." She turns to leave and I follow her, not bothering to even give him a last glance. Just as I'm about to walk out the door, his voice stops me dead in my tracks.    

"Maybe you two should read the book before you start making assumptions. It just might surprise you."

*********************    

"Honestly Justin, I don't know what you want from me." Johnny sighs and leans back in his seat, folding his arms over his chest. "You're no longer my client. You fired me, in case you forgot. There isn't anything I can do for you. The legal team is already working on filing a suit against you. If I help you, that could be a major conflict of interest."    

"Yeah.. but I mean... isn't there a way you can get him and Beth on breach of contract or something? You had all of us sign that confidentiality shit."    

"Beth's going to get off scott-free, I'm afraid. The signature on those papers is Beth Preston's, and that person doesn't exist. As far as Jc is concerned... there isn't much to work with there either. He simply elaborated on a story that'd already been printed."    

"So you're not going to do anything?"    

"No, Justin... I'm not." There's a finality in his tone, and all I can do is nod.     

"Alright well... thanks for seeing me." I mutter and rise from my seat. "See you in court, I guess?"    

"It doesn't have to come down to that, you know. You're under contract for another album.. You could come back, do the album, and this could all go away."    

Deep down, I know he's right. But, my pride isn't going to let me do that. I made a decision, and now I'm going to suffer the consequences, no matter what they are.         

"Thanks, but no thanks." I call over my shoulder and head for the door.     

"If it's any consolation, I'm not really pushing the suit, Justin. Mostly, I was trying to give you the time to change your mind, but obviously, that isn't happening."    

"No, it's not." I smile sadly and sigh. "Thanks though."    

"I hope she's worth it, son. Because I can tell you, it's just going to get worse from here."    

I swallow the lump that's formed in my throat and nod. "She's worth it."    

I know she's worth it. She has to be. I can't look back on this in a few years, and think it was all for nothing.     

As long as I've still got her at the end of this, I know it will have all been worth the bullshit we had to go through.     

I know I could tuck my tail between my legs and come crawling back to Johnny and the label, and eliminate everything, but that'd just be too easy.     

Call me crazy, but I think Madison and I need to fight this battle, and win it.

"It's the label." Justin rolls his eyes as he hands me the cordless phone.    

Needless to say, I'm a little surprised. I can count the number of times the label has called my home phone on one hand. Hell, sometimes I actually forget I even have a stationary phone. I practically live out of my cell, much like the rest of the world.    

"Hello?"

"Madison, Richard Hall. How are you doing?"    

I breathe a sigh of relief and smile. "Good, how are you?"    

I'll admit, when Justin said it was the label, I was preparing myself for a panic attack. It's never good news if they're calling me personally, but Richard Hall calling, is a good sign.    

Mr. Hall is head of promotion at RCA and does a majority of scheduling for the artists. Since he's the one calling, there's a pretty good chance they've finally found my new manager and I'm about to go back to work. Which honestly, I really need right now.    

The press is having a field day with Jc and his stupid book, so naturally, Justin and I can hardly even breathe without being questioned about it. Neither of us has read it, and honestly... we probably won't.     

There's really no telling what kind of bullshit is in that thing and I think we're better off not knowing. It'd probably just piss one of us off anyway.    

The really strange thing though, as many interviews and crap as Jc's been doing, I haven't seen much of Beth. Her name is on the cover right under his, but she hasn't made a single appearance or given even one interview. It's almost like she fell off the face of the earth or something.     

It doesn't make sense, but whatever. I'm putting those two and their nonsense behind me.    

"I'm good, I'm good." Richard replies happily. "I won't bore you with small talk because I've got some pretty important news for you."    

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes. Now, as you know we've been looking for your new manager and so far, have come up empty handed. Unfortunately, this has kept you from working and with the album doing so well, you really need to be out there promoting the hell out of this thing. So, we've reached a decision." He clears his throat and I can hear paper rattling on his end. "You're going to pick up right where you left off. I've taken the liberty of booking your schedule for the next few months, including the tour. It's going to be Chelsea's job to make sure this schedule is executed down to the last second, and that is no small feat. So, we've brought on another P.A, who's got the experience and comes highly recommended. I've already spoken with the two of them and faxed over the itinerary. So, take the rest of the week to yourself, get some sleep and relax. We need you back full force on Monday."    

"Re..really?" I stutter, not fully believing what I just heard.    

"Yes, really." He chuckles. "I've got to get going, but like I said, get some rest these next few days. You'll need it, trust me. Have a good one Madison." The line goes dead and all I can do is sit with my mouth hanging open.    

This is almost too good to be true.    

Despite everything that's been happening, all I really wanted was to get back to performing and now, I'll be doing just that. A small part of me was beginning to wonder if it would ever actually happen. I certainly wasn't expecting it to be so quick, but I'm not complaining.    

The only problem now is breaking the news to Justin. And, I know that won't be pretty.

****************    

Well.... I did it.

I caved and finally started reading Jc's stupid book, even though I promised myself, and Justin that I wouldn't.

I couldn't help it, really. My curiosity started to get the better of me and I just... I had to know. I had to find out for myself if Jace really is the backstabbing asshole we've assumed him to be.    

I'm only the first couple chapters in and honestly, I haven't come across anything earth shattering yet. The first two chapters are mostly history on Justin and I. Where we grew up, how we got started, what kind of people we are. It's all pretty innocent so far.    

Before I started reading, I decided that I was going to put all my personal shit aside and dive into this thing with an open mind. I guess there's still this small part of me that refuses to accept Jace as the bad guy.    

I know I'm a little too trusting sometimes and obviously, it's come back to bite me in the ass a few times, but I just can't bring myself to say, "Ok, Jc screwed me over" and move on.     

I basically put my life in his hands. I depended on him to guide my career and make me what I am today. If it weren't for him and all the incredible things he's done, I'd still be waiting tables and playing open mic nights. I can't just turn my back and ignore that, no matter what he's said or done.    

Call me crazy, but part of me wants to believe he still has my best interest at heart.    

Maybe I'm just being naive or maybe, this book isn't what it's been hyped as. Maybe it's just an outside opinion of what Justin and I did.    

Although, what's really the point of it? I won't deny that what we did was wrong, but why does the entire world need to know about it? That's the one thing I just can't understand.    

Chapter Three: The Lie Begins    

In October of 2007, Madison completed vocals for her second major label album, and it was headed straight for production. We all knew that the next few months would be hell on earth, with wrapping the album, scheduling the promotion and tour, hiring the band, and finally heading out on the road. We'd all run ourselves ragged during recording, with writing sessions and late night studio time, and we needed a break.    

Madison, more so than anyone else.    

I wasn't exactly thrilled at the prospect of her jetting off to Vegas, but as I've had to remind myself countless times over the years, I'm her manager, not some over-protective big brother figure. She needed to escape, and who was I to stop her? So, off she went.    

The night she left for Vegas, I received a piece of information that not only shocked me, but broke my heart as well.    

Beth Preston had been Madison's assistant from the very beginning. When "Don't Tell Me" was released as Madison's first single in 03' none of us could have expected or planned for the immediate success. It shot up the charts and almost over night, Madison Fox became a superstar.     

When she reached number one on the Billboard singles chart, I knew I wouldn't be able to handle the business aspects of her career on my own anymore. So, an assistant for Madison became a necessity almost instantly.    

Thousands of people applied for the job. RCA and myself spent weeks interviewing applicants and pouring over resumes before we finally found the one.    

Beth Preston was fresh out of UCLA with a degree in public relations and her enthusiasm was unmatched by anyone else we'd seen. We had to have her.    

She clicked with Madison from day one and I was confidant that she'd be a great asset to Madison's blossoming career. Unfortunately, there were things about Beth that none of us could have known or predicted.    

I was in the middle of booking photo shoots for the album when a contact I'd made at US Weekly called to inform me about something in their employee files that didn't quite gel.   

He'd been asked to update their files for tax purposes and stumbled across the file of a woman named Beth Cook. All employee files at US Weekly contain a picture ID and my source was quite shocked to find that the photo of Beth Cook bared an uncanny resemblance to the woman the world knew as Madison's assistant.     

I spent nearly 48 hours straight investigating the claim and unfortunately, found it to be true. Beth Preston and Beth Cook, were one and the same.    

Beth Cook was a reporter for US Weekly and her assignment was to dig up whatever dirt she could on Madison Fox.    

Luckily, at that point in time, Madison had been doing a pretty good job of keeping her nose clean. She'd dealt with her fair share of negative publicity, but we all believed it was finally behind her.    

However, that all changed after her weekend in Vegas.    

I had every intention of going to RCA with what I'd turned up and was more than ready to get Beth as far away from Madison and her career as humanly possible.    

I had a meeting scheduled with RCA for eight a.m. Monday morning. On Sunday afternoon, I received yet another phone call, this one more shocking than the first.    

Madison was about as calm and collected as I've ever seen or heard her when she casually explained that she had married Justin Timberlake."        

I hear footsteps in the hallway and I immediately shove the book under my pillow before flipping on the TV and engrossing myself in whatever crapfest is on. The door opens and Justin strolls in, muttering to himself about car keys.    

"What are you doing up here?" He asks distractedly, searching through his desk drawer for his missing keys.    

"Nothing." I shrug. "Watching TV."    

"You know we've got a living room for that, right?"    

"Yep. But your super comfy bed isn't down there, now is it?"    

"Point taken. Have you seen my damn keys?"    

"Downstairs on the table in the hall." It's almost kind of sad that I know this house better than he does.     

I wouldn't exactly say I live here, but... I guess I might as well. It's become pretty rare to find me at my own home, but luckily, Justin doesn't seem to mind.    

Unfortunately, come Monday... I won't have much of a home here, or at my apartment.     

I know I need to tell him that I'm going back to work, but I just don't know how to go about it. There's really no way to tell how he'll react, and the last thing I want is to start a fight.     

"Alright, cool. I'm hitting the golf course with Trace, you wanna come?"    

"Seriously?" I laugh and roll my eyes. "I think not."    

"Suit yourself." He shrugs and crosses the room before planting a kiss on my forehead. "I'll be back later. Love you." He breezes out of the room and the first thing I do is grab my book to continue my reading.     

I don't know why, but I've got this sinking feeling that my hiding these petty little things is going to create some major problems.

And unfortunately, I'm only bringing them on myself.

**********************    

"The original plan was simple. Madison and Justin would quietly annul their spontaneous marriage, and a crisis would be averted. I knew from the second I heard those words that this would cause nothing but problems.    

The publicity that surrounds Justin has this way of destroying everything around him. It's not his fault, but his fame is almost like a black hole of sorts. He outshines everyone he comes in contact with and it's been known to wreak havoc on several careers, mine included.     

I refused to see the same happen to Madison, so I was completely supportive of the decision to annul the marriage. But, Johnny Wright had a few very different ideas.    

Once Madison and Justin were back in L.A, Johnny insisted on rallying up the troops and rather than ask everyone what they wanted, he made numerous demands that I found completely ridiculous and unwarranted.    

I'll be the first to admit, Justin has never been the squeaky clean teen idol he's presented as, but by no means did he have an image issue. The world sees him as a charming, albeit overly confidant ladies man, and that's a pretty accurate description. But, Johnny decided that Justin needed an image overhaul, whether he liked it or not.    

Johnny laid out the rules and Madison and Justin were given no choice but to obey. And they did, reluctantly.     

I was against the whole thing from the beginning, but I did the respectable thing and kept my mouth shut. Unfortunately for Johnny, keeping my mouth shut meant I needed to find other ways to be heard.    

I confronted Beth two days after the story on Madison and Justin's marriage broke. She admitted everything immediately and was on the verge of handing in her resignation.  

That's when I explained that I had other plans for her.     

Beth's assignment was to air Madison's dirty laundry. Naturally, I didn't want my client having her life blasted across the tabloids, so Beth and I made an arrangement.    

When she finished school, her goal had been to get on with a respectable magazine, but with no experience, it was virtually impossible. I agreed to help her land the job she wanted, as long as she would only print stories I gave her, or ones that I approved.    

I know it wasn't exactly the most upstanding thing to do, and a part of me does regret it. But, I couldn't sit back and watch Madison become yet another industry toy. She deserved much better than what Johnny was doing to her and I was determined to make sure she got nothing but the best.     

My biggest regret, is that some of the stories that went to print, had a negative affect on Justin. I never meant to cause problems for either of them, but I couldn't sit back and watch the two of them compromise themselves.     

In the midst of what I thought was the perfect plot to get the truth out there, Madison and Justin did the last thing anyone expected, and they fell for each other.     

I can't explain it, but I've always felt a fierce protectiveness of Madison. In the years I managed her career, we became a family, and I do not tolerate someone hurting my family.    

I knew that when their minimum two years of marriage were up, Johnny would have them divorced, never to see or speak to each other again. Which I knew, would be devastating for the both of them. Anyone could see the spark between them, how fair would it have been to deprive them of that?    

They loved each other, in the simplest, purest definition of the word. And if someone didn't do something, they'd have to walk away from that.    

Maybe there was a better way to straighten things out. Maybe I went about things in the worst way possible, maybe I did more harm than good, but my goal was to keep both of them from getting hurt.     

They're together now, and that's something I'm damn proud of. I firmly believe that if I'd sat back and done nothing, they'd be missing out on something that has become the most important thing in either of their lives."    

I snap the book shut and wipe away the tears that are streaming down my face. I honestly never thought I'd say this, but Jc and his book have left me utterly speechless.     

I just... I wish I could have been mature enough to take a step back and really look at everything going on around me. Maybe if I had, I would have seen that Jc was trying to do exactly what he said.     

He was just trying to help.     

Sure, maybe there could have been a different solution, but hindsight is 20/20. We can't change what happened. The only thing any of us can do is accept our actions and the consequences, and move forward.     

If I hadn't been so damn hardheaded, maybe it wouldn't have come to this. Maybe this book was the only way Jc was able to explain himself, because Justin and I sure as hell weren't listening.    

We were both so wrapped up in playing the victims. We never took the time to think about the fact that maybe there was a little more to the story.     

We were idiots, plain and simple.    

And now, the only thing I can do is try to make it right.    

I have to talk to Jc.

*********************    

I make my way up the sidewalk and stop in front of the porch, taking a minute to collect my thoughts and figure out exactly what the fuck I'm doing here.     

I mean... what am I supposed to even say to him?     

'Uh, hey Jace.. just read your book and wow.. I'm a total jackass, huh?'    

I don't think so.    

In all honesty, I don't really feel like I owe him an apology. Or, maybe I do and my stubbornness just won't let me admit it quite yet.     

The fact of the matter is, all of us screwed up. Jc probably should have just left well enough alone. Justin and I shouldn't have been so damn selfish. Johnny shouldn't have forced us into this ridiculous situation and Beth shouldn't have talked us into getting fucking married in the first place.    

Massive mistakes were made all around.     

As strange as it sounds, I'm almost to the point where I can't really place blame on just one person. This thing was a chain reaction. It all just kept snowballing until it got completely out of control.    

The blow up was inevitable. I should have known that. We all should have known that.     

I finally force my legs to carry me up the steps, to the front door and I ring the bell. A small part of me wouldn't really blame Jace if he slams the door in my face. I haven't exactly been the most understanding person on the planet lately. I never gave him the chance to explain, and he'd be well within his rights to tell me to fuck off.     

The door finally swings open and Jc's eyes widen slightly before he clears his throat and nods. "Madison."    

"Hey Jace... can I come in?"    

"Yeah, yeah." He takes a step back, allowing me to enter and I have to bite my lip to keep from laughing.    

It looks like a fuckin tornado ran through this place. Papers, magazines and empty food containers are strewn about, several of Jc's jackets are hanging on various chairs. But, I guess I should have expected this. I'm sure things have been pretty hectic for him since the book came out.    

"So... did you need something, or did you just come here to give me some more shit?"    

"Alright... I deserve that." I nod slowly. "I read the book... well... most of it."    

"And Justin allowed that? I'm impressed Madison."    

"You know... you were sure singing a different tune in that fucking book, Jace. Or was that just an act?" Alright, now he's just starting to piss me off and pretty soon, my defenses are going to kick in, and I'm gonna go ape shit.    

He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose before shaking his head. "Sorry... I'm just...a little stressed. And ya know... the whole being attacked thing the other day didn't exactly leave me in a good mood."    

In all the time I've known him, I've never felt as awkward around Jace as I do at this very moment. I really should have thought this out a little more before I decided to haul ass over here.     

"Look, Jace... I... I was pleasantly surprised when I read that. I just... why didn't you tell me? We could have avoided all the bullshit if you'd just been up front about it."    

"Honestly... I wasn't really thinking like that." He shrugs. "I was just... I wanted it all out in the open, mostly as a big fuck you to Johnny for forcing this on us to begin with. He was the problem, Madison. Not Beth, not me, not you, and not Justin. Johnny's the on who screwed us."        

I know I said I was having a hard time placing blame, but I can see where he's coming from. If Johnny hadn't made this life changing decision for us, Beth never would have had a story at all. Jc would have been able to fire her and be done with it.     

We could have gone about our everyday lives if Johnny hadn't intervened.     

"I'm not gonna lie... in a way, I'm glad things went down the way they did. It got all the bullshit out there and that's what I wanted. You're not a liar Madison. I couldn't watch you bend to what he wanted. And that's exactly what you were doing. The thing about you, is that you've always done things your way, then this came along and suddenly, all you wanted to do was please everyone else. I couldn't watch that. I'm sorry, but I just... couldn't. Something had to be done. Do I regret some of it? Yes. But, I'm glad it happened."    

I nod slowly and let his words really sink in.    

Once again, he's right.    

I completely bent over backwards to do everything Johnny wanted, and to this day... I don't know why.  Part of it was my wanting to help Justin, and maybe.. there was a little fear thrown in.    

If I hadn't agreed, Johnny could have destroyed me. But then again, he almost did anyway. Maybe I should have taken a stand and told him to go straight to hell. But how could I have known how things would turn out?    

When you get right down to it, I've got it pretty fucking good, all things considered.    

I need to do the adult thing here, put all of this behind me and forget about it.    

"Jace... I want you to come back as my manager." I say suddenly, almost surprised at the words coming out of my own mouth.    

A wide grin quickly spreads across his face and he nods slowly. "I think I can handle that."    

He can, but what about Justin?

"Well, what the hell did you expect man? Thanks to your bullshit, I was out of a job. I had to find something." Trace shrugs and takes a long gulp of his beer.     

"Ever think maybe I'd go back to work eventually?"    

"Sure. But, you and I both know it ain't happening anytime soon. Madison really needs the extra help, I've got the experience, and we're already cool. It's the logical thing to do."    

"You just want to hang all over Chelsea's ass."    

"Nah, that ship has sailed man." He shakes his head and chuckles. "You've been way too wrapped up in all this other shit to know that though."    

I'm sure that probably sounds like a dig at me, but I know that's not how he meant it. He's simply stating a fact.    

Madison and I have been so caught up dealing with our own drama, we haven't had much time for anyone but ourselves. It's not selfish or anything, we've just had a lot of our own shit to deal with.     

Needless to say, I'm not all that surprised that the Trace/Chelsea thing didn't pan out. Chelsea's goal was to childishly get back at Madison, maybe she finally realized that she was just being a fucking moron, and dropped the act.     

"What happened?"    

"Nothing really." He shrugs. "I just kind of realized I'm not that into her, ya know? Like, she's cool as shit and I love hanging out with her, but we couldn't really get into the couple thing. We're still pretty tight though, and she's a big part of the reason I took that job. There's no way she could handle everything on her own."    

I haven't said anything to him, but I really see no point in Madison having two assistants. Sure, she's out a manager, but it's not like she's working. Why does she need to pay two people to do nothing?    

But, whatever. All any of us can do is sit back and hope the idiots at the label know what they're doing.    

Which, based on experience, I'm inclined to think they don't. But, I've got way more important shit to worry about.    

I never really too the time to sit back and think about how my decision to walk away from my career would affect the people around me. I know, Madison told me as much, but I think I was still too busy riding the high of telling Johnny to fuck off.     

I mean, I'm not mad at Trace for taking the job. I just wish he would have talked to me about it first. He's still technically my employee and an advance warning would have been nice. But, it's not like he's going across the country or anything. He'll still be here all the time. The only real change is that he'll be running Madison's errands rather than mine.    

So, I guess when you get right down to it, it's kind of a non-issue.     

My phone vibrates on the glass table and I grab it quickly, smiling when "One new message from: Madison" appears on the screen. Yes, I'm one of those whipped ass guys who smiles just seeing his girl's name flash on his phone. Sue me.    

"I'm on my way. Get rid of Trace."    

Oh hell yeah!    

I'm sure I don't have to tell you what that means. But, I'm going to anyway, because I'm a guy and we thoroughly enjoy bragging about this shit.    

To put it simply, Ms. Fox is coming home to get a piece of the Timberlake.    

"You gotta go man."    

"Huh?"    

"Madison's on her way. You gotta go."

"Since when am I not allowed in the house when Madison's here?" Trace rolls his eyes and doesn't budge an inch.    

Clearly, subtly is lost on my short friend.    

"Since I haven't gotten laid in two weeks. Now, get the fuck out..... please."    

"Fine, fine. I'm going." He mutters and rises from his seat. "I'll remember this shit though. Ditching your boy for a chick just ain't cool."    

"Yeah, right." I give him a dismissive wave and chuckle as he heads out the back door.    

I love him, but he's a major pain in the ass sometimes.    

10 minutes later, Madison strolls into the house and tosses her things down on the table in the hallway.        

I know a lot of guys get kinda freaked out when a chick makes herself at home in their personal space, but I kind of like it. Madison's first round of living here wasn't exactly smooth sailing, so it's kind of nice to see it working this time.    

I'm hoping that soon enough, I can convince her to get rid of that damn apartment and move back here full time.    

"Hey." She smiles brightly and heads for the kitchen.    

"Trace is gone."

"Oh? Good. I wanted to-"    

In a split second, my mouth is on hers and I can't help but smile when I feel her relax against me. My hands travel down her side to the hem of her shirt and that's when she suddenly breaks our contact.    

"Justin, get off." She pushes me away and takes a few steps back.        

What the hell?    

"That's what I was trying to do sweetheart." I smirk and advance toward her again, but the deep frown settling on her face stops me dead in my tracks.    

"That wasn't even close to being funny."    

"Umm... ok." I nod and scratch the back of my neck.    

Is it wrong that I'm totally confused here? Normally, she thinks shit like that is hilarious.    

"What the hell did you want me to get rid of Trace for?"    

"I wanted to talk." She says simply, as if that was the most obvious thing in the world.    

Ya know, I'm quickly realizing that she and Trace have quite a bit in common. I love her, but Jesus Christ is she a pain in my ass.    

"Alright, talk so we can get to the fun stuff."    

"Not funny either." She sighs and rolls her eyes. "Can you be serious for five damn minutes? This shit is important."    

"Fine, I'm all ears."    

"Good. Now, let me get through this before you freak out and start acting like an idiot, ok?" I nod in response and she takes a deep breath before plopping down at the table. "Remember when the label called me a few days ago? Well... they finally decided what to do with me."    

This can go a couple of different ways, both of which have their good and bad points.    If they've decided to put all things Madison Fox on the back burner, the bright side is that she'll be here with me constantly. But, I know she's miserable when she isn't working and her bad moods usually get taken out on me.    

If they've decided to send her back to work, she'll be ecstatic, but she'll also be leaving me behind.    

I'm really not sure which one I'd like to see happen.    

Do I want her to be happy? Yes. Do I want her a thousand miles away? Hell no.    

"Well, I'm going back to work."    

I nod slowly, doing my best to hide exactly what I'm feeling. I should have known this would happen at some point, but that doesn't make it suck any less.    

"Monday, I'm meeting with the label to-"    

"Monday? Shit, Madison! That's two days away. When the hell were you gonna tell me?" So much for that letting her get through it stuff, huh? 

"I'm telling you now." She shrugs. "I just found out two days ago Justin. I didn't really have a lot of time."    

"Yeah, but... fuck!" I shake my head sadly and roll my eyes. "I'm glad you get to work again, but this just.... sucks."    

"I know, but you can come out whenever you want. It'll be fine."    

I sure as hell hope she's right. I've seen what touring and the bullshit that comes along with it can do to a relationship, and I don't want that happening to Madison and I. Maybe the fact that I know what to expect is something I can use to my advantage.    

"So, I guess this is why you're taking Trace?"    

"Yeah. But, I swear I didn't have anything to do with that."

"It's fine. It's not like I need him anymore." I shrug. That sounded a little more resentful than I intended, but...whatever.    

"Justin... you could go back in a heartbeat. Talk to Johnny, tell him you made a mistake."    

"I'm fine. The time off is gonna be good for me. I've got some stuff I'd like to do eventually anyway, so it's cool. Maybe I'll follow in Jc's footsteps, minus the whole fucking over my client thing."    

"Funny you should mention that..." She forces a laugh and I feel my shoulders tense immediately.    

I know I'm the one who brought it up, but she knows I hate talking about this shit. All it does is piss me off and I'm so damn tired of being mad all the time. I really just want to put the whole thing behind me and forget about it.    

"I read the book." She blurts out quickly and I feel the heat rise in my cheeks.    

Deep down, I knew she'd read it. She's too damn nosey not to. But, a small part of me hoped she'd stick to the promise we made each other. We both swore we wouldn't read it. We agreed that it didn't matter what was in there, that it wouldn't change anything.    

As much as I hate to say it, I think I give her a little too much credit sometimes. It doesn't matter what she says or how many promises she makes, Madison is always going to do whatever the hell she wants.    

"It really isn't what we thought it was. Justin... he was trying to help."    

And here is yet another reason I didn't want her reading it. I fucking knew she'd buy into whatever bullshit Jc put in there.     

She's so damn naive when it comes to people. Even when they screw her over, she still wants to believe they had her best interest in mind, or that they're trying to help her.    

You'd think she would have learned by now, but apparently that skull of hers is much thicker than I thought.    

"Read it Justin." She pleads, but she's wasting her time.     

I made my mind up about Jc Chasez awhile ago and I'm not changing it.    

"I talked to him and-"    

"You fucking talked to him?" I bellow, my cool and calm demeanor quickly disappearing.    

I can handle her going back to work and taking my PA. I can even deal with her reading that damn book and thinking it was intended to help. But talking to Jc? I don't fucking think so.    

"Yeah, after I read it I-"    

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you not remember the bullshit we've been through the last two months? He fucking betrayed you Madison! I had to walk away from my God damn career because of him! He fucked us, ok? He 100 percent fucked us, and you go to talk to him? Jesus Christ Madison! We could have been ruined because of  his bullshit!"    

"Well... you better get over that shit real quick Justin. He's coming back as my manager."    

Oh my fucking God.    

Is she stupid?     

I mean seriously, has she completely lost her fuckin mind?    

She's just asking to be set up again. And, does she not understand that this is a total slap in the face to me?    

Thanks to Jc and his precious fucking book, Johnny forced me to choose between Madison and my career. I chose her, and this is how she fucking repays me? By wiping the slate clean with the guy who's responsible for every shitty thing we've gone through this past year?    

I do not fucking know this woman anymore.    

The Madison I know would have backed me up. She would have been on my side. It was supposed to be the two of us against the fuckin world.... not her leaving me in the dust.    

"How could you do this? You can't really be this stupid."    

"I can't do this right now." She mutters before hopping out of her chair and heading for the door, with me hot on her heels.    

"That's right Madison... fucking run away from the problem just like you always do. Just once, I dare you to actually face something head on."    

"Oh don't even." She seethes as she whips around to face me. "You wanna talk to me about running away, when you're the God damn king? You ran away from your career because you couldn't stand the thought of your perfect little image being tarnished! I mean, God forbid somebody finds out that you aren't fucking perfect!"    

"That's bullshit! I did that for you and you fucking know it!"    

"Well... maybe you should have taken your second option."    

I take a step back and swallow the lump in my throat. I feel like she just punched me in the gut or something. Of all the things she could have said or done, that was probably the most unexpected and hurtful.    

I chose her, with no hesitation.    

I can't even fathom her thinking I made the wrong decision.    

"You... you think... you think I should have dumped you?"    

"Maybe." She shrugs. "Because quitting your career sure as hell doesn't make sense. Nobody chooses a woman over what you had Justin.... unless they're afraid of something and the woman is the easy way out. You were so scared that the truth would hurt you, so you did the only thing you knew how to. You took the easy way out, and you ran."    

"No....no. You're wrong."    

"Ya know... I really don't think I am." She shakes her head and laughs bitterly. "I gotta go." She mumbles before making her way to the door.    

And for what feels like the millionth time, I'm left to watch her leave, not entirely sure I'll ever see her again.    

As horrible as it sounds, there's a very small part of me that hopes I don't.

Two days.    

It's been exactly two days, five hours and 34 minutes since I walked out on Justin and our fight.    

Maybe I should have stayed and tried to sort things out, but he just made me so damn mad. He is so unbelievably set in his ways and it's next to impossible to change his mind, about anything.    

A reasonable person would have let me explain, and maybe even tried to see my side of things, but not Justin. He thinks he knows every damn thing and refuses to look at anything from a different angle.    

In some ways, that unrelenting attitude can be a good thing, but in a situation like this, it's infuriating.    

He could have kept his opinion the same if he wanted to. All I wanted him to do was listen.    

Unfortunately, I let my anger get the best of me and I said some things I didn't really mean. But... I was also able to say some things I've been holding in for quite awhile.    

I didn't want Justin to break up with me, that much I'm certain of. But, I didn't want him to leave his career behind either.     

Honestly, I don't know what the hell posessed him to choose me over work. I don't doubt that he loves me, but he shouldn't be putting me above his career.    

Part of me really, truly believes he did it because he was afraid. We didn't have a clue what Jc's book would say and Justin was terrified it would make him look bad. He never said it, but I know him well enough to know that's exactly what he was thinking.    

He'd gotten so much negative publicity already, something else added to it would have killed him.     

I guess he figured it was better to walk away with his career at it's ultimate high, rather than watch himself fade in obscurity.     

Maybe, if I'd been in his position, I would have done the same thing in that regard, but the second I found out what was really going on, I would have gone straight to Johnny. I still haven't figured out why he won't do that. It just doesn't make any damn sense.    

"Madison, can you focus here?" Jc sighs as he snaps his fingers in my face.    

"Oh...umm, yeah.... sorry." I clear my throat and turn my attention to the man in front of me.    

I really, really hate auditions. They're never fun for anyone, and I almost always feel bad when we turn someone down. There really ought to be a simpler, nicer way to do this.     

Personally, I don't see why we can't go with the band we used for the last tour, but whatever. The powers that be have decided I need a new band, so a new band I shall get.    

Once the band is actually hired, the real fun will begin. They'll have two weeks to learn my entire catalog, then we've got a few weeks worth of appearances, and then we hit the road.    

It's gonna be insane, to say the least.    

I should be on top of the world right now, but after the blow up with Justin, it's almost impossible to focus or be excited about much of anything.    

I acted like such an idiot. I could have handled the whole thing with a little more grace and a lot less attitude. I shouldn't have hit him with everything at once.    

I just keep going back over everything in my head and one minute, I'm madder than hell at him, and the next... I'm completely sympathetic toward him.    

I guess I should be used to this kind of thing by now. Nothing about Justin and I has ever been stable or simple. It's been a massive fucking complication from day one.    

The auditions continue for another hour before Jc finally realizes that I'm completely useless and sends me on my way.    

I know I should probably go home and get some rest, but I'm not going to be able to function properly until I talk to Justin. As silly as it sounds, he's become a part of me and even just a couple of days without him is throwing me off.    

It doesn't take long before I'm pulling up that familiar driveway and I immediately spot Justin in the garage, loading bags into the back of his Escalade.    

Not a good sign.    

"Hey." I say quietly and offer him a small smile as I step into the garage.    

"Hi." He replies flatly, not so much as even glancing at me.    

"You going somewhere?"    

"Home. Just for a couple weeks." He shrugs and takes a seat on the bumper of the truck. "You need something?"    

"I was kind of hoping we could talk."    

He nods slowly before a bitter laugh escapes and he rolls his eyes. "Honestly Madison... I'm not so sure there's anything left to talk about. You picked your side."    

"Why does this have to be about sides?"    

I can feel my anger building up, but I have to keep my cool. The only way we're going to solve anything is if atleast one of us stays calm. Preferably, we both will, but knowing Justin's temper, that's kind of a long shot.    

"Because it is." He says simply and shrugs. "Madison... I know you thought you were doing the right thing by trying to smooth everything out, but some shit just needs to be left alone. Alright, fine... the book isn't too far off base, but-"

"You read it?"    

"Yeah." He sighs loudly and rolls his eyes. "I'm not as close minded as you seem to think. But, what's in there doesn't change anything for me. I give him credit for getting the truth out there, but he caused a lot of shit in the process and I can't forgive that."    

"So, you still don't want him around?"    

"Not exactly. I mean, I know you've got all the faith in the world in the guy, but how do you know he won't pull some shit again?"    

"I don't." I nod in agreement. "But, I've got hope, ya know? Justin... I don't want to be all bitter and cynical because I got screwed around a few times. I can't go through life not trusting everyone and everything."    

"I get that. But... in this line of work, well... your line of work, you gotta be like that."    

"Justin... just go to Johnny, please? Obviously, you're not happy."    

"Actually, I am." He chuckles softly and shakes his head. "I've finally got this huge weight off my shoulders and it's amazing. Maybe I'll go back eventually, but I want some time to myself. I want a real life."    

"Time to yourself?"    

Oh God.    

This is it.    

This is the moment where every stupid thing I've said and done is coming back to bite me in the ass.    

He's breaking up with me.    

I take a deep breath and do everything I can to keep my tears at bay. Call me crazy, but I really never saw this day coming.    

"I didn't mean it like that." He laughs and stands up quickly, pulling me against him. "Madison, calm down sweetheart."    

I'm glad he seems to find my overreacting so amusing.    

"Calm down?" I laugh humorlessly and roll my eyes. "How am I supposed to calm down when you're saying that shit? If you're about to dump me, just do and get it over with. I don't want some long, drawn out, bullshit speech. Be a man and just fucking do it."    

"Madison... I'm not breaking up with you." He sighs and shakes his head. "What the hell even brought that up?"    

"Everything you just said! You want time to yourself.... you want a real life. Let me guess, that real life doesn't include a musician girlfriend, does it? Face it Justin, you may have stopped working, but it doesn't change where you came from. People are always going to follow you and take your picture. You're always going to be in some stupid magazine. I know, because I've gotta deal with it too. That stuff doesn't go away just because you do. And... if you're with me... it's still gonna be around."    

"I know that, and that's not what I'm saying. I just don't want the pressure and the other bullshit. It doesn't have anything to do with you. I just need a break. For the millionth time, Madison... I'm not breaking up with you. Unless... unless that's what you want."    

"Of course not." I scoff and roll my eyes at him.    

So much for keeping my cool, huh?    

I just couldn't help it. I mean... how does he say that shit and not expect me to jump to conclusions? And... just what the hell makes him think I'm anywhere near ready to end our relationship? Surely my reaction just now is enough to prove that I am in this thing wholeheartedly.    

"Alright then." He nods and swallows hard. "So, we're cool there, right?"

"I guess."    

"Come on Madison... work with me here."     

My expression softens at the pleading tone in his voice and I can't help but roll my eyes. One day, I swear... I'm gonna get the hang of this adult relationship thing.    

"So... now what? Where are we supposed to go from here? We're not breaking up, but there's still all this other shit..."    

"Honestly... I don't know." He shrugs. "I don't want Jc involved in any aspect of my life, but if that's who you want handling all of your stuff... fine. I don't like it, but I'm behind you no matter what."    

"Don't do that." I mutter and roll my eyes. "You can't be supportive and completely disagree with what I'm doing Justin. It can't work like that. We've gotta reach a common ground somewhere."    

"Baby... we are fine, alright? Granted, sometimes I want to fucking strangle you, but I know we aren't gonna be perfect. We're not always going to agree on everything, and I'm ok with that. You've just... You gotta start sticking stuff out, ya know? You can't run away from everything."        

"I know." I sob and roll my eyes at my own stupidity.    

I am far too emotional for my own good sometimes.    

"And, I get that you're willing to let all that Jc shit go, but I'm not. And... you've gotta know just how much of a slap in the face that was to me Madison."    

"I wasn't really thinking like that." I shrug lamely. "I just wanted to fix everything."    

"Some shit can't be fixed. All we can do is-"    

I don't even let him finish before my lips crash against his, and his hands come to rest on my hips. I don't know how, but we have to find a way to get past all of this.    

I mean, maybe him going home, and me going on tour will actually be good for us. Maybe we really need some time apart.    

He pulls away from me suddenly and his eyes lock with mine. "I really did give it up for you, ya know. Johnny told me to choose and it was no fucking contest."    

"I know." I nod and smile through my tears. "I was so stupid..."    

Deep down, I think I knew the real reasons he left his career behind. I think I was so caught up with being angry, I just wanted to hit him where it hurt.    

That's one thing I'll say for us... we definitely know what buttons to push, and just when to push them.    

"I'm kind of used to that by now." He smirks and guides us into the house, never breaking his hold on me. "I love you." He says seriously and I nod as his mouth meets mine again.    

In a matter of seconds, we're in his bedroom, articles of clothing being pulled off every few seconds.    

It isn't until he's hovering over me, staring down at me with what can only be described as pure, unconditional love, that I realize, as long as we're both willing to try, we're going to be just fine.

********************

One Month Later    

There's this saying, that I've heard more times than I care to count in my life. I know it's meant to be comforting, but every time I hear it, I just want to kick something.    

Time heals all wounds.    

What a crock of shit.    

Time doesn't heal anything. It's more like a band-aid, really. It helps cover the cut, but at the end of the day... you'll still be left with that big ugly scar to remind you of the hell you went through.    

I wish I could say that Justin and I found some magical fix for all of our problems, but things are still just a tad on the strange side.    

We've agreed to disagree, I suppose.    

He's still harboring some serious animosity toward Jc and I still wish I could do something, anything, to put our once happy social circle back together.    

It isn't easy for us to have such opposite opinions on something so important, but we're managing the best we can.    

For all intents and purposes, our relationship is kind of the same as it's always been.    

Unstable. Chaotic. Illogical, and awkward.    

I mean, I can't sit here and paint you a picture of some broken, beaten down relationship because that'd just be a damn lie. Underneath the little bit of tension, we're still basically the same.    

We still bicker. We still talk constantly. We still goof off. We still have amazing sex, but most importantly... we still love each other.    

It's still us, just not as... united, as we once were.    

Which has it's pros and cons.    

On the plus side, Justin and I are both finally gaining some independence. We became obsessively dependant on each other, and that's never healthy, no matter how in love you are. We reached a point where we both wanted the other to have the same exact thoughts, feelings and opinions.  It took some time, but we finally saw just how wrong that was.    

We were slowly but surely losing ourselves to our relationship, and thank God we stopped it before it got too far. I don't even want to imagine what would have happened if we kept heading for self destruct mode.     

Then of course, there's the negatives.     

Justin and I realizing we need to be more independent means that we aren't focusing on each other as much as we were. Before, it was just the two of us constantly and now, we're branching out a bit, attempting to create separate lives outside of our relationship. There's even be a couple times that we've gone several days without seeing each other.    

He's been taking time out to hang with Trace and I get to spend some much needed time with Chelsea.    

As bad as it sounds, Justin and I taking this lackadaisical approach to our relationship has actually improved my friendship with Chelsea. There for awhile, I was convinced that we were really losing it, but now that I've had more time to spend with her, we've kind of been falling back into our old routines.    

We haven't sat down and hashed everything out, and I'm not so sure we ever will. Honestly, I don't even know exactly what went wrong.    

I know she was hurt by being kept out of the loop, but even after that... things were still kind of strained and I could see them getting worse. But, there wasn't anything I could do about it. I had so much shit being thrown my way, I just didn't have the time to focus on Chelsea and what was happening to our friendship.    

And, I really regret that.    

I regret letting all of this nonsense, from my bullshit marriage, to the shit with Jc, become bigger than the things that really matter.    

Maybe if I'd been mature enough to see the big picture and see what was going on around me, I could have avoided 90 percent of the things that have happened this past year.    

Fortunately, going through all of this shit and suffering the aftermath has forced me to take a good long hard look at myself. I've got a lot of things I need to work on and I'm happy to do it, honestly.    

There have been numerous times since we met that Justin could have very easily thrown his hands up and quit.    

But, he didn't.    

Through it all, he never gave up and he never stopped trying to help me, even when he got nothing in return.    

I can't even begin to repay him for everything he's done, but I can change my negative habits to make life easier. And that's exactly what I plan on doing.    

Things aren't as perfect as I'd like, but I'm going to try my damnedest to get them as close to perfection as I can. I know it's going to take some work, and I'm totally ok with that. I'm ready and willing to do whatever I have to, to make things right again.    

I guess the hardest thing to deal with right now, is the fact that I'll be leaving while things are still so up in the air.    

My tour begins tomorrow and I'm not so sure I'm ready for it. I spent so much time just waiting to get back to work, it almost doesn't seem real.    

I'm scared shitless, honestly.    

Sure, the album has done incredibly well, but what if I get out there on the road and blow it? What if Justin and I can't handle the distance? What if Jace isn't the good guy I believe he is, and finds some new way to screw me over? What if Chelsea and I take five steps back from the small improvements we've been making?    

These are the questions constantly running through my mind, and I haven't got an answer for a single one of them.    

All I can do, is hope.    

Hope that the fans love the live shows as much as the album. Hope that Jc has seen the error of his ways and does the honesty thing from here on out. Hope that Chels is more mature than I give her credit for. Hope that Justin and I are as strong as I think we are.    

I'm pretty much living on hope nowadays, and it's a little scary.    

But, that hope is what's keeping me semi-positive, despite my fears.     

Even though there are some underlying issues, I know things are fairly good and really, they can only get better from here, as long as we're all willing to work at it.    

And, call me naive, but I think we are.    

That's the funny thing about hope, no matter how bad things are or may seem, it makes you believe it'll be alright. Hope lets you see that light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak.    

And I've been stuck in a pretty fucking dark tunnel. But, I really truly believe I'm coming out of it.    

Everything is going to be ok.    

I'll make damn sure of that.