Chapter One.

Little Alexandra watched silently as her father spoke with her mother. She knew something was wrong, but they kept on telling her that it was nothing. As they finished speaking she saw her mother nod and her father walked towards her slowly.

“Daddy?” Alexandra asked the tall man. Her father smiled softly and knelt down in front of her, pulling her into a hug.

“Alexandra...” he whispered, and Alexandra felt herself about to cry.

“Daddy, where are you going?” Alexandra asked looking over his shoulder and seeing his big suitcases by the door. Her father pulled back and looked over his shoulder at the suitcases.

“I’m going away for a while,” he said sadly.

“When will you be back?” she asked and he kissed her fore head.

“Soon,” he said and slowly stood up.

“Promise?” she asked, putting her thumb in her mouth and sucking it out of nervousness. He smiled down at her, and took her small hand in his.

“I promise,” he said, then he let go of her hand and walked away. That was the last time Alexandra remembered seeing her father, he didn’t come back.


Ten years later.


A young girl with brunette curls stepped out of the black van and smiled. She had her father’s eyes and her mother’s smile, or so many people had said. But she had never really known her father, and as for her mother, well that was a whole other story.

She looked up in front of her and stared for a while at the big poster that had been palstered to the wall of the building.

“Are you okay?” the older man who had driven her there asked. She just nodded and continued staring up at the poster. It was a poster of a man, a man who seemed so familiar to her, yet so strange.


JC stood leaning against the doorframe watching the young girl sing her heart out into the microphone. He smiled to himself because he was sure that this time Johnny had found the best.

“She’s amazing Johnny,” JC stated, not taking his eyes of the young girl. “Where’d you find her? She’s a definite keeper.” Johnny laughed lightly and adjusted the volume on the recording device.

“At an open mike night down at Louie’s on Friday. You think this is good? Wait till you hear her play the guitar, she’s great,” Johnny said and leaned forward to his own mike to talk to the girl. “Hey, Alexa? Why don’t we show Jayce over here that song you played on Friday at Louie’s?” The young girl, Alexa, blushed shyly, but nodded and grabbed her guitar from the corner. “Listen to this.”

After a few moments, Alexa sat on a near by stool and began to strum a few cords on the guitar, warming up. Then she began to play one of the most harmonic tunes JC had ever heard.

“Wow,” was all he could say as he watched mesmerized.

“I know,” Johnny agreed and they watched in silence as Alexa sang along to her song. There was something strangely familiar about Alexa to JC, he couldn’t quite say what it was, but what ever it was he liked it.


That night when JC went home he opened up the albums and looked through them. The memories came flooding back, and he wondered when he’d ever get to see his little girl again.

He sat there looking at her photo, and smiled. She looked a lot like him, or so he’d been told. She had his blue eyes, and his frizzy curls, she even had his smile. But it had been over ten years since his ex-wife Laney had driven him away. And when he’d gone back to the house to get his daughter, Laney had up and disappeared, leaving no clue as to where they had gone.

He’d hired many detectives to try and find his family, but all came up with dead ends, suggesting that maybe Laney had changed their names and moved out of the country.

JC felt tears in his eyes as he remembered this, and slowly shut the album. He leaned his head back against the chair and put Alexa’s tape in the player. Her soft melodic voice filled the room, and he found it comforting. He fell asleep knowing that somewhere out there, his daughter was waiting for him.


Alexa sighed as she pulled out the tattered shoe box from under her bed and opened it. She smiled to herself as she remembered the day’s events and shifted through the miscellaneous photos in the box. She stopped at one in particular and picked it up gingerly.

“You would have been so proud of me today daddy,” she whispered to the photo of a young man in a white suit. The photo was old and for the most part she really couldn’t see the face of the man, but it was all she had to remember her father by. “I got a record deal,” she added and hummed a few lines of the song she had sung to Johnny earlier in the day.

She felt tears in her eyes and wondered where he was, what he was doing and most importantly if he missed her. She didn’t really remember him, but the only thing she did recall was the sound of his voice at night when he used to sing her to sleep.

“Alexa is that you? What you doing in there?” the sound of her mother’s harsh voice interrupted her thoughts, Alexa sighed, carefully replacing the photo back in the box. “Come out here and get me a pack of cigarettes from the store!” Her mother yelled again. Alexa got off her bed and replaced the box back under the bed before going to her mother. “Alexa did you not hear me!”

“Yes mom, I’m coming!” Alexa called back and walked out of the room closing the door softly behind her. One day she’d find her father and when she did she would be out of here, forever.


“Good morning Alexa,” Mandy, Johnny’s assistant, greeted Alexa as she arrived later that week to begin recording for her new single.

“Morning Mandy,” Alexa smiled, “Is Johnny here yet?”

“Sure, just through there,” Mandy replied pointing at the doors just to the left of the reception area. Alexa smiled in appreciation, and readjusting her guitar case she headed towards the door.

“Thanks,” she called over her shoulder to Mandy and swung the door open. When she stepped inside she noticed Johnny sitting on a plush chair waiting for her already, with him sat his friend that had come see her record a few days back.

“Alexa, you’re here finally. Good to see you, how was your week?” Johnny asked her noticing her walk in, he stood up and gave her a hug. She had only known him for a week, almost, but Johnny was already treating her like a daughter.

“Hi Johnny,” she replied smiling shyly, “It was good.”

“Great,” Johnny said pulling back and gesturing over to the guy that was standing next to him. “Alexa, do you remember last week when you played for the one of my friends?”

“Yeah,” Alexa said remembering him.

“Well, he’s back. This is JC,” Johnny replied pointing to JC.

“Hi Alexa,” JC said smiling softly at the girl, Alexa blushed.

“Hi,” she said shyly, there was something familiar about him that she couldn’t quite place.

“Well JC heard you last week and thought you sounded so good he wanted to come in and hear you record again is that okay?” Johnny asked softly and Alexa nodded.

“Sure,” she replied and Johnny grinned.

“Okay well let’s get going then,” Johnny said and pushed open the door to the recording booth so Alexa could step inside. Alexa smiled gratefully and stepped inside, noticing all the while, JC looking at her with curiosity. “Okay Alexa, why don’t you get warmed up first while Jayce and I finish discussing a few things okay?” Alexa nodded and pulled out her guitar, beginning to tune it and get it ready.

As she tightened the guitar’s strings she looked up and Johnny and JC were talking intently, every now and then glancing her way. She didn’t know what they were talking about, but she knew what ever it was it was definitely good.


JC smiled as he watched Alexa warm up. He knew that Johnny had really found a gem this time in Alexa.

“Jayce? Are you even listening?” Johnny asked cutting through his thoughts. JC blushed and glanced at Johnny, he didn’t want to be seen as some sort of perve but there was something mesmerizing about that girl that made JC not listen to a word Johnny was saying.

“What were you saying Johnny?” JC asked, now focusing his attention on Johnny. Johnny leaned back in his chair and laughed.

“I was asking if you wanted to produce some of her songs.” Johnny asked shaking his head at JC, “Or was you too busy thinking nasty things about her? She’s too young for you Jayce. She could be your daughter.” JC blushed and looked at Johnny.

“I wasn’t thinking of her like that,” JC said, “There’s just something familiar about her. She reminds me of Alexandra.” Johnny smiled and looked at Alexa.

“Yeah, she kindda looks like her doesn’t she? I mean from the last time I saw her, but then again that was ten years back,” Johnny stated studying Alexa’s face, JC was right there was something familiar about the girl.

“Yeah, I guess,” JC said now getting uncomfortable with the conversation. “So what were you asking me anyways?”

“Oh, that. I wanted to know if you wanted to produce some of her songs,” Johnny said and JC nodded.

“Yeah definitely. She’s a definite talent. I’d love to do anything that connected me to talent like that,” JC accepted and glanced back at Alexa, definitely.

“Great,” Johnny said smiling, then he leaned forward and spoke into the mike. “Hey Alexa, guess what you’ve just got yourself one of the hottest producers to work with you. JC Chasez.” Alexa looked up from her guitar at the sound of Johnny’s voice and smiled, it was a million dollar smile.

Chapter Two.

“What you doin’ Alexa?” her mother asked her later in the day. Alexa shrugged as she strummed a new song on her guitar, too engrossed in the new song to notice her mother and her drunkenness. “Alexa! I asked you a question!” Her mother snapped, it broke Alexa’s concentration and she looked up.

“Sorry mom, I was just working on a new song,” Alexa replied softly and her mother grunted.

“Pshh. A new song? Where’s that going to get you? Nowhere girl, nowhere. Now if you want, go do something more useful with your time,” her mother jeered waving a hand dismissively at Alexa’s song.

“But mom, Johnny said…” Alexa began trying AGAIN to explain to her mother that Johnny had asked her to work on some new material for the album.

“Johnny? Is he your mother? No he’s not, I am! And I’m tellin’ you what’s right! Her mother snapped at the mention of Johnny’s name, cigarette hanging from her lips as she hung drunkenly over the couch. She may have allowed Alexa to be signed by Johnny and his record company but there was no way she was allowing Johnny to take her daughter from her. “Now go get your mamma a new box of cigarettes from the store, there’s a twenty on the table.”

“Yes mom,” Alexa said defeated and put down her guitar. She got up and walked over to the table to get the twenty dollar note that lay there.

“And don’t you go stealin’ any of it!” Her mother called after her as she walked out of the door, “I know how much a pack of cigarettes costs, so don’t go thinkin’ me as stupid now!”

“Yes mom!” Alexa called and slammed the door behind her as she left. Oh how she wished someone else was her mother.


Johnny had never met Alexa’s mother, but from his conversations with her over the phone, he knew she didn’t really care about her daughter. She had just agreed to let Alexa sign with WEG just to give her something to do, a distraction, but not a permanent thing.

“Alexa?” Johnny asked the young girl who was immersed in her song.

“Sorry Johnny,” Alexa said blushing and looking at the older man.

“Are you okay? You seem distant today,” Johnny stated and Alexa nodded.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” she said softly, “Just having a lot of song ideas running in my head.”

Johnny smiled and looked at Alexa, “Ah yes. I know how that goes; JC is very much like that.”

“JC?” Alexa asked recognising the name.

“Yes my friend who wanted to produce some of you r songs? Maybe you guys should get together and you can run some of you ideas by him, would that be okay?” Johnny asked and Alexa smiled.

“That’d be nice,” Alexa replied softly and Johnny smiled.
“Good, so I’ll call him and set up a time yeah?” Johnny asked and Alexa nodded.

“Yeah, just make sure it’s not after five. That’s when mom gets home from work and she hates it if she comes back to an empty house,” Alexa explained and Johnny nodded.

“Don’t worry, I’ll set up something before five and let you know,” he replied and Alexa nodded, finally she could talk to some one who would understand her.


JC smiled across the table at Alexa as she sipped quietly on her milkshake. She noticed him looking at her and blushed shyly.

“Good milkshake?” he asked her, and noticed how her blue-grey eyes shone as she smiled.

“Yeah thanks Mr. Chasez,” Alexa said and looked back down at her drink.

“Call me Josh,” JC said, “Mr. Chasez makes me sound old.”

“Is that was the JC stands for? Josh Chasez?” Alexa asked him smiling he nodded.

“Yeah, well Joshua Chasez, but people either call me JC or Josh,” he said and Alexa nodded.

“My dad’s name was Josh too,” she said taking the last sip of her milkshake and then pushing it away from her.

“Yeah? Is he a musician too?” JC asked peaking interest and Alexa shook her head.

“I don’t know, I never really knew him. He left when I was five,” Alexa replied sadly.

“I’m sorry. I know how it feels to have someone disappear on you, my wife left with my daughter ten years ago, haven’t seen them since,” JC replied giving her a sympathetic look.

“You were married?” Alexa asked and JC nodded. “Was she a nice lady?”

“She was okay I guess. She had a problem with alcohol,” JC stated and Alexa nodded.

“Yeah, my mum’s got a bit of problem with that,” Alexa said, JC was shocked.

“I’m sorry Alexa,” he said, “If there’s anything you need…” Alexa nodded but cut him off.

“Thanks I’ll keep it in mind,” Alexa agreed, there was an uncomfortable silence.

“So, you want to run some of those ideas by me? Johnny said you were having a bit of trouble getting melodies for them?” JC asked after a while trying to break the silence comfortably. Alexa nodded quickly.

“Yeah, that would be nice,” Alexa said and JC nodded.

“Well, why don’t we finish up here then drop by my friend Justin’s house? He’s another producer; we used to be in a band together. Maybe he can help us, would you like that?” JC asked the girl and she nodded.

“Yeah, that’d be nice,” she repeated and JC smiled. She smiled back at him and his whole heart melted; she looked so much like Alexandra when she smiled.


After the milkshake and a visit to Josh’s friend, Justin, Alexa managed to get home just in time so that her mother would come and find her in her room.

“Alexa honey,” her mother drawled walking into her room without knocking. Alexa looked up from her books she was reading.

“Yes mom?” she asked, her mother smiled and stumbled over to the bed, she reeked of alcohol.

“Can you be a dear and walk over to Mrs. Brimm’s to get your mother a fresh pack of beer that I’d ordered?” her mother asked, Alexa sighed and sat up.

“I can’t mom I’m busy doing my school work so I don’t have to do it tomorrow,” Alexa said glancing at her books. Johnny had been so kind as to hire her tutor to teach her while she was recording the album.

“Oh honey, can’t that wait?” her mother asked with fake puppy dog eyes. Alexa sighed defeated.

“Okay mom, does she know I’m coming?” Alexa asked, she was fed up of always having to go and pick up her mother’s beer from the neighbour.

“Oh thanks honey bunch!” her mother squealed hugging her clumsily, “Yes she knows you’re coming.” Alexa nodded and got off her bed and pulled on her shoes.

“Okay, I’ll be back in a bit,” Alexa said once she was ready, she wanted to go, get her mother her beer then get back to work. Her mother gave her a drunken smile and stumbled back to the couch to watch Alexa leave.

“And be sure not to break any!” Her mother called after her, Alexa just shut the door rolling her eyes. Things couldn’t get any worse.


JC got home and kicked off his shoes. He yawned, and moved his way over to the living room and pulled one of the photo albums from the shelf.

He smiled to himself as he recalled the events of that day; it was nice to spend the day with Alexa as he felt as if he was with Alexandra.

He sat down and opened up the album, the first photo that met his eyes was one of a little girl in a baby pink dress smiling as she blew out a candle on her cake. JC smiled at the memory of his daughter’s first birthday, which was so special. All the guys had been there and had spoilt her, his parents and siblings were there too, everyone who JC had ever known had been there, caring for this little girl. The day Alexandra and her mother had disappeared, was a day that JC could swear his heart had broken into a million pieces.

He turned the page and smiled. He studied the photo intensely and remembered that day as well. A day where he had to go into work for a photo shoot that was last minute and took Alexandra with him because her mother was at work. In the photo Alexandra sat with her four uncles all goofing off. JC felt tears in his eyes, remembering how close she had made them. She had brought them together, as a family more than ever.

He sighed softly and turned the page, a picture of an older Alexandra stared back at him. She had his same blue-grey eyes, and his same Chasez’s million dollar smile. He looked at the picture, and it reminded him of Alexa. Alexa had those same eyes, Alexa also had that smile. The Chasez smile.


As Alexa got ready for bed that night, she found her self humming a few of the notes she’s worked on with Josh. She really liked him and wondered why his wife had decided to leave him, who would want to leave such a nice man? She wished he was her father.

She sighed and climbed into bed, as she did so her mother, who was now sober enough to kiss her good night, walked in.

“Ready for bed Alexa?” her mother asked and Alexa nodded.
“Yes mom,” Alexa replied climbing into the covers and pulling them up to her chin.

“That’s good, well I’m just coming to say good night,” her mother said, although she didn’t seem like she was telling the truth. “Um, good night angel.”

“Night mom,” Alexa said as her mother reluctantly kissed her fore head. “Mom?” she added as her mother began walking out the door, her mother stopped and turned to her.

“Yes honey?” she asked Alexa, sweetness dripping off her words.

“Has my father ever come to find me?” Alexa asked, and she watched her mother’s eyes change as she walked quickly over to Alexa’s bed.

“Now Alexa,” her mother began. “You listen here; don’t go thinking about that man, he’s not worth it. He abandoned us ten years ago and never made one move into finding us, he didn’t care for us then and he doesn’t now.” Alexa nodded quietly, she had always known her mother was hurt by her father.

“Sorry mom. It’s just that I met someone today who had the same name and it made me think about him,” Alexa told her mother, her mother smiled fakely and kissed her on the fore head one last time.

“It’s okay honey. Just don’t go looking for him, you’ll only get yourself hurt,” her mother replied and stood up. “Good night honey.”

“Night mom,” Alexa answered as her mother walked out the door and turned off the light, she hoped her mother wasn’t right.


“Jayce? Are you even listening to a word we’re saying?” JC snapped out of his daze and glared at his friend, Chris who grinned at him broadly.

“What?” he asked totally lost; Chris laughed and patted him on the shoulder.

“Are you okay man? You seem a bit lost,” Chris asked, and JC nodded slowly.

“Yeah, I was just thinking,” JC murmured and tried to focus a bit more.

“About what man?” Chris asked, JC smiled and shook his head.

“Just about this new artist I’m producing for, she’s an amazing talent,” JC said. Chris gave an evil grin.

“Yeah? She hot?” he asked and JC looked at him in shock.

“No man! Not in that way! She’s only fifteen!” JC exclaimed bewildered by the fact that Chris, being as old as he was, still had a dirty mind.

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that,” Chris said still grinning; JC sighed and shook his head.

“No, she reminded me of Alexandra and it made me think, maybe I should try finding her again,” JC said softly, Chris’ grin disappeared and was replaced by a concerned frown.

“What? Are you sure man? I mean remember last time? You sure you want to go through with that again?” Chris asked JC recalling what had happened the last time JC had tried to find his daughter only to be let down by dead ends, JC nodded.

“Yeah, besides I don’t care I have a good feeling this time,” JC stated and Chris nodded.

“Okay, if it’s what you want,” Chris said throwing his hands up in the air.

“Yeah it is,” JC said looking at Chris.

“Fine, I just hope you won’t get hurt again,” Chris commented not wanting to see his friend get hurt.

“It doesn’t matter,” JC said, “It’ll all be worth it.”

Chapter Three.

“Mr Chasez?” An older man, with grey hair asked looking at JC with curiosity. JC nodded and stood up, straightening out his jacket he extended his hand out to the man.

“Yeah that’d be me, you can call me Josh,” JC said shaking the older man’s hand.

“Hi Josh, I’m Joel Patty, Private Investigator. Mr Wright called me informing me that you were in need of my services?” Mr Patty asked and JC nodded.

“Yes, shall we sit down?” JC asked gesturing to the empty seat next to him.

“Sure thing, so what is it that you require my services for?” Mr Patty asked sitting down and taking out a not book to make notes in.

“Well, Mr Patty…” JC began but Mr. Patty cut in.

“Call me Joel, Mr Patty’s my dad,” he said with a sheepish smile, JC nodded and continued.

“Well, Mr Patty, um Joel, I need you to find someone for me,” JC said shyly not knowing how to phrase himself. Mr. Patty, um, Joel, smiled.

“And is this someone a relative?” Joel asked writing something down. JC nodded.

“Yes, in fact I’d like you to find my daughter,” JC said and Joel looked up and raising an eyebrow at JC.

“Well, I never figured...” he began and JC smiled.

“Yeah, not many people do. A lot of people don’t know that I have a child,” JC said, “I tend to keep my private life very private.” Joel nodded in understanding.

“And what would her name be?” he asked looking back down at his paper.

“Alexandra Kylie Chasez, or it might be Pitter, her last name, it was her mother’s,” JC said recalling his ex-wife.

“And her name would be? The mother,” Joel asked writing down what JC had just said.

“Laney. Laney Anna Pitter,” JC replied nervously as he remembered the details.

“And your daughter would be how old now?” Joel asked writing still.

“She will be sixteen next spring, on March the twenty-first,” JC said smiling at how old his little girl would be.

“Ah, a spring baby,” Joel commented looking up to catch a glimpse of joy in JC’s eyes, “My daughter was born in spring too.”

“What else do you need to know?” JC asked wanted to get this over and done with quickly so the search could begin.

“Well let’s see,” Joel said flicking through the notes. “I’ll need all of your daughter’s information, as well as your wife’s. That includes medicals, birth certificates and your marriage certificates. A picture could also be useful so we can do a picture update on our system to see if we can age the pictures to see what they may look like now. Oh yes, and why did you say you and your wife divorced?”

“I didn’t,” JC said not remembering, “How did you know we divorced?”

“Oh a wild guess, the good ones usually are. If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s fine. Although it may help with the case,” Joel said not wanting to pressure JC into anything.

“No, it okay. If it’ll help the case,” JC said and Joel nodded. “Well, Laney had a bit of a drinking issue which she could never control, so I left her. I was supposed to come by the next day after the hearing to pick up Alexandra, but when I got to the house they weren’t there.”

“She took the child out of state? Even though you’d won the custody hearing?” Joel asked raising an eyebrow and JC nodded.

“Yeah, the court knew it was illegal and even set out a warrant for her, but nothing,” JC said, “They sort of disappeared.”

“I’m really sorry Josh,” Joel said sympathetically.

“It’s okay. So you think we’ve got a chance?” JC asked with hope, Joel nodded and smiled at him.

“Yes, we’ll give it our best shot,” he replied, and he hoped they did, because Josh really needed it.


JC sat alone in his empty house and wondered when it would be filled with his daughter’s laugh, if she was still alive that is. He tried not to think negatively because he didn’t need it, but it could be possible that Alexandra was no longer alive, but something inside him didn’t believe that.

He had kept a room especially for her, every year updating it so that it would match her age. Now his daughter would be fifteen going on sixteen, and if Joel was successful, she would be home with him and know who he was.

JC also knew that Laney most probably had influenced Alexandra against him, because to be honest Laney had never really been happy. She was always jealous of the fact that JC made more money then her, that he was famous. She would get jealous of the other guys, never wanting him to spend time with them, and that was something he couldn’t live with.

So he’d asked for a divorce, much to Laney’s disgust, and when it was over he fought for custody for their daughter, Alexandra. Because on top of everything, Laney was also an alcoholic who was psychologically unstable, and as the court ruled, she was not a suitable guardian for Alexandra. But for some odd reason, Laney did not agree with the courts, and on the day JC went to pick up his little girl from the house she’d grown up in, she was not there. Nothing of hers was left, not even a memory.


“Josh?” Alexa’s voice broke through his thoughts as JC was doing some paper work for the investigation to find his daughter.

“Yeah?” JC asked looking up to see Alexa’s head poking through the door; he smiled at the sight of her.

“Are you busy?” she asked shyly and JC shook his head.

“Nah, not really just filling out some paper work, come in,” he replied closing the file he was writing in and turned his full attention to her. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t want to disturb you,” she said shyly taking a few steps into the room, JC waved her off and gestured for the seat next to him.

“Nah, you’re not disturbing me. Actually I could use a break,” he said stretching. “Come on in.” Alexa smiled shyly and walked into JC’s office at the Compound where Johnny had all his business run from.

“Thanks,” Alexa said shifting her guitar from her shoulders and sitting down. “Wow, this is a nice office; did you win all those awards?” JC blushed and looked behind him to where she was gesturing to all the Nsync awards and Gold records hanging on the walls and in the one glass cabinet in the corner.

“Yeah I guess you could say that. When I was in the band with my friends,” JC said modestly and Alexa smiled.

“It must have felt great to be so recognised in the industry. I wish one day that’d be me,” Alexa said still in awe of his accomplishments.

“And one day you will be,” JC told her, “Just give it time. So what can I do you for?”

“Oh,” Alexa said blushing, “I was actually wondering if you could help me out a bit. I was working on a song last night and kindda got stuck for a verse, I mean I have the chorus down and everything, it’s just this one verse.”

“Sure. I’d love to, let’s hear what you have so far,” JC said gladly. Alexa nodded and picked up her guitar, and began to warm it up.

“It’s a song about my father,” she said softly. JC smiled at her as she began to sing, there was something very melodic about her voice, something soothing and calm, he almost forgot what he was doing.

“I remember Daddy’s hands,
Folded silently in prayer,
And reaching out to hold me,
When I had a nightmare,
You could read quite a story,
In the callousness and lines,
Years of work and worry,
Had left their mark behind.

I remember Daddy’s hands,
How they held my Mama tight,
And patted my back,
For something done right,
There are things I’ve forgotten,
That I loved about that man,
But I’ll always remember,
The love in Daddy’s hands.

Daddy’s hands,
Were soft when I was cryin’,
Daddy’s hands,
Were as hard as steel when I’d done wrong,
Daddy’s hands,
Weren’t always gentle but I’d come to understand,
There was always love in Daddy’s hands.

I remember Daddy’s hands,
Working till they bled,
Sacrificed unselfishly,
Just to keep us all fed,
If I could do things over,
I’d live my life again,
And never take for granted,
The love in Daddy’s hands. “

Alexa finished her song and looked up to JC with expectant eyes, he felt something familiar about what she’d sung and at the same time very sad.

“Well what do you think?” Alexa asked after a moment of silence, JC snapped out of his trance and looked at her tears brimming his eyes.

“I think it was amazing,” JC said softly and Alexa blushed.

“Thanks, but I don’t know how to end it,” she said and JC frowned.

“I think its perfect just the way it is, don’t change it. You must have gone through a hard time when he left,” JC said and Alexa nodded.

“Yeah, I did. I couldn’t really understand why he did it, but I’ve always known that deep down he’s always loved me, I don’t care what my mother says,” Alexa added softly. JC smiled sadly at her realizing what she’d just said.

“You’re mom doesn’t think he was a good guy?” he asked softly and she shook her head.

“No, she thought he didn’t love us, she said he left us because he had more important things to do, but I doubt that’s true,” Alexa replied and JC could tell she was about to cry. He got up and walked to her side of the desk and hugged her, something she wasn’t expecting.

“I’m really sorry Alexa, that you had to go through that,” JC said softly rubbing the young girl’s hair. Alexa smiled and pulled away from him.

“It’s okay,” she said now embarrassed. “I just know that one day he’ll come looking for me.”

“He will,” JC said trying to encourage her, “I’m sure he loves you.”

“Me too Josh,” Alexa said. “Me too.”

Chapter Four.


After sharing her life or some of it anyway, with Josh, Alexa felt a lot better. After she had played him her song, she felt something change between them, like their bond had become deeper. He had treated her like his daughter, as if she was his daughter.

Alexa smiled to herself as she arrived home that night, but her smile was soon faded by the sight of her mother.

“Alexa, honey get your stuff packed,” her mother said without even glancing at her. She was running around the house collecting little tidbits.

“Mom, what’s going on? Why are we packing?” Alexa asked standing at the door and watching her mother go crazy. Her mother stopped in one of the doorways and turned to look at her.

“Now Alexa, what did I say? Stop asking questions and move it!” Her mother replied and without waiting for an answer she continued to run through the house. Alexa felt tears in her eyes, they couldn’t go. Not now, not when things were beginning to brighten up for her, she didn’t want to go.

Her mother came back into the room and glared at Alexa who was still standing by the front door.

“Alexa! Did you not hear me?” she snapped and Alexa looked at her mother, pleading.

“Mom, please I don’t want to leave. We just got here,” Alexa pleaded; every time something good happened to them they had to leave.

“I don’t care Alexa, we have to,” her mother stated not leaving any room for argument. “I know we just got here, but there’s a new job that’s opened up and…”

“No! I don’t want to go!” Alexa yelled and her mother glared at her.

“Alexa!” she called but Alexa shook her head.

“No mom! Not this time! We’re always moving around because you’re scared dad will come find us or something, but he won’t. And even if he did would that be so bad?” Alexa asked, her mother walked right up to her.

“Alexa, don’t you dare talk like that!” she growled staring at the young girl. “Now go get your stuff we’re leaving!”

“No!” Alexa said turning on her heel and running out of the house, tears streaming down her face.


“No!” JC yelled slamming his hands down on the counter top. Joel looked at him and nodded.

“I’m afraid so Josh,” he said trying to calm the man down.

“No, we have to keep looking,” JC snapped running a shaky hand through his hair.

“We’re trying our best here Josh,” Joel said passing the cream file over to JC.

“Well you’re not trying hard enough!” JC snapped, “There must be something else we’re missing.”

“Well we did call all the counties and gave them the pictures of what Alexandra could look like now and gave them both ours and your contacts in case with all the details. But there is one thing...” Joel said and JC stopped pacing to look at him.

“There is? What?” JC asked eagerly, Joel half smiled and opened up the file.

“According to the reports sent in yesterday, the head of department get a call from someone who claimed to have seen Laney,” Joel began, JC looked at him.

“And? Did they arrest her?” JC asked but Joel shook his head.

“Unfortunately no, but they did check out the call and they did find the woman who led them to Laney,” Joel said and JC looked confused.

“So they went right up to Laney and didn’t arrest her? What about Alexandra?” JC asked, Joel shrugged.

“They can’t just arrest people like that Josh. But after they were sure it was her, they did give her a warning and asked her to appear in court this morning when I called you, but she never turned up,” Joel said, looking at JC. JC sighed in defeat.

“She never turned up? I know that!” JC snapped glaring at Joel. “Isn’t that illegal, can’t you do something?”

“Josh we’re trying, we’ve got everyone looking for her,” Joel explained but JC shook his head.

“No, you don’t have everyone,” he snapped and stalked out of the room.


It was getting late, the sky was getting black, and JC was still mad. He closed his eyes and rubbed his face with his hands as he leaned back on the couch. He couldn’t believe what Joel had told him earlier, about Laney running off. He wondered why she would do something so foolish, and if Alexandra was with her.

He reached over and picked up the album he’d been looking at and yawned. It was getting late, but he wanted to just sit here and not think about anything else, he just wanted to think of his little girl. His thoughts were interrupted however by the sound of a car pulling up outside. JC sighed and got up, reluctantly going to the door. He opened it, and was surprised to see Johnny’s white Escalade.

“Johnny?” JC called wondering why his former manager would be here because Johnny never turned up unannounced unless it was really important.

“Jayce hey!” Johnny called stepping out of the car, and as he did so his passenger side opened up and out stepped Alexa.

“Alexa?” JC asked, “Johnny what’s going on? What are you guys doing here?”

Johnny helped Alexa out of the car and the two of them walked up to JC before Johnny answered, JC noticed the young girl looked as if she’d been crying.

“Jayce..” Johnny began giving JC a fatherly hug. “Alexa here turned up on my doorstep an hour ago in tears.”

“Oh my God, Alexa are you okay?” JC asked looking at the girl who didn’t say anything, she just nodded. “What happened?”

“I don’t know Jayce. She hasn’t said anything to me, only that she wanted to come here. Something about wanting to feel safe,” Johnny said shrugging. JC smiled at the thought that Alexa would feel safe with him and gestured for her and Johnny to come inside.

“Sure, um, come on in,” JC said standing aside so they could pass. Johnny gave him an appreciative smile and he and Alexa walked inside.

“Thanks Josh,” Alexa whispered softly, they were the first words she’d spoken.

“No problems,” JC said and closed the door behind them. “Why don’t we go into the kitchen?” Both Johnny and Alexa nodded as JC lead the way. They entered the kitchen and both took a seat at the long table in the room. “Can I get you guys a drink?” JC asked walking to the coffee machine and preparing some coffee for himself and Johnny.

“I’ll just have a coffee thank Jayce, Alexa?” Johnny asked her, but the girl remained quiet. JC felt sorry for her and walked over to where she was sitting, kneeling in front of her.

“Hey Alexa,” he said putting a finger underneath her chin and making her look at him. “What’s going on?” Alexa shrugged, and her eyes looked glazed over.

“Jayce..” Johnny began but JC cut him off.

“Look Alexa, you’re safe now. So do you want to tell me what happened?” JC asked softly, this time he got Alexa to look at him.

“Mom…” she began but her voice drifted off.

“What about her? Where is she? Do you want us to call her?” JC asked softly and Alexa shook her head.

“She left town,” Alexa said just above a whisper. JC felt anger flare up inside him as he heard this, he almost felt as if Laney had deserted her.

“Why did she leave?” JC asked and Alexa shrugged.

“I don’t know,” Alexa said, “But I think it had something to do with my dad. Every time, he’s this close to finding us she gets up and runs.”

“She does huh?” JC asked sympathizing with the girl. “I know how you must feel, my ex-wife just ran off today as well.”

“I’m sorry,” Alexa said understanding his situation, they were both in the same boat.

“It’s okay,” JC said, and hugged the girl. “Is there anyone we can call for you?” Alexa shook her head and looked between the two men.

“No, it was just me and mom. So when I refused to go she left me here, alone,” Alexa replied sadly.

“Oh honey, we’re so sorry,” Johnny put in. “Jayce, can she stay here with you for a bit?” JC looked at Johnny then at Alexa. They both knew it would be best because Johnny was going out of town for a while and Alexa would be left all alone if she stayed with Johnny, they didn’t want that.

“Sure, would you like that Alexa?” JC asked and Alexa nodded.

“If it’s okay with you,” she said and JC smiled.

“Of course it is, you can stay in Alexandra’s room until your mom gets back,” JC said hoping the girl’s mother would turn up.

“I don’t know if…” Alexa began but JC cut her off.

“It’s okay even if she doesn’t,” he said, “You can always stay with me, forever.”

Chapter Five.


As Alexa went to bed that night she felt safe, she had gotten to Johnny’s house in tears and asked to come here to Josh. Why she didn’t know, all she knew is that with him, she just felt safe. And even though she hadn’t known him for along time, there was something about him that made her feel at home.

They had gone back to her house to pick up some of her stuff, including the old shoebox under her bed. And as they’d packed her stuff, they’d realized that Alexa’s mother had gone, for good.

“Alexa?” JC’s voice said from the doorway. Alexa looked up and smiled at him.

“Hi Josh. Thanks for letting me stay here,” Alexa said looking around the room that JC had made up for his daughter. JC smiled and walked into the room.

“How are you finding things?” he asked sitting at the end of the bed. Alexa smiled at him and nodded.

“Good thanks,” she said, there was a brief moment of silence before JC spoke.

“Well I just came to say goodnight,” he said and leaned over to hug her.

“Good night Josh,” she said hugging him back. Then she crawled under the covers as he got up to leave the room. “Josh?”

“Yeah?” he asked stopping in the doorway and looking back at her.

“Thanks again. I’m sure Alexandra would be happy that you’re her dad, she’s really lucky,” Alexa said, JC nodded and smiled.

“Thank you Alexa,” JC said. “Good night.”

“Night Josh,” Alexa replied and closed her eyes, knowing that Josh would keep her safe.


JC smiled as Alexa closed her eyes and fell asleep. For a few minutes he didn’t leave, he just stood there watching her sleep. The girl seemed so peaceful and serene, he wondered what she’d done to deserve a mother like hers because she was one incredible girl.

He sighed and finally let himself leave, walking slowly to his own room. He walked into the room and flopped face down on the bed yawning. He couldn’t believe at what happened today, but he was now too tired to think about it. He smiled and tried to get up so he could go to the bathroom to but to no avail, he was too God damn tired. He let his eyes close then, and as he did so a feeling of relief came over him. He may not have Alexandra with him, but he had Alexa and something about that girl made everything okay.


JC walked quietly down the stairs and into the kitchen, it was still early but he couldn’t go back to sleep. He yawned as he walked into the kitchen and was about to turn on the coffee machine when he stopped in his tracks.

“Morning Josh,” Alexa said quietly from her stool by the center island.

“Morning Alexa,” JC said smiling at the girl’s presence, he was shocked to see her up. “Did you have breakfast already?” Alexa shook her head a no and smiled a t him.

“No I just woke up myself,” she said, and JC nodded.

“Cool,” he said regaining himself and walking over to the coffee machine, and turning it on. “So what do you want to eat?”

“What do you have?” Alexa asked, already getting comfortable with JC.

“Um, coffee?” JC asked laughing and opening up the fridge. “What about, let’s see, eggs? Toast?” He came back up with a tray of eggs in his hands and put it on the counter top.

“Yeah sure,” Alexa agreed. “But do you have any tea? Or juice? I don’t drink coffee.”

JC looked again in the fridge and pulled out a carton of orange juice. “Will this do?” he asked and Alexa nodded.

“Yeah thanks,” she said and JC smiled.

“Okay then,” he said pulling out a glass from the cabinet and pouring some juice into it. “Let’s get this thing started.” He put some bread in the toaster and started to prepare the eggs. “How you like your eggs?”

“Um, sunny side up?” Alexa asked JC nodded.

“Good, because that’s all I know how to make. That and pop tarts,” JC said and Alexa laughed. “Hey come on now it’s not that bad!”

“No, its kindda nice,” Alexa said, “I feel at home here, thanks again.”

“No problems,” JC said smiling at her politeness. “So what’s the plan for today?” Alexa shrugged and looked down at the table.

“I think Johnny wants me back in the studio today,” Alexa said softly and JC nodded.

“Okay, well why don’t we go over there after breakfast? Maybe then we can work on some of your songs I’m going to produce,” JC said finishing off making the eggs and putting them, along with the toasts, onto a plate. “Here you go, enjoy,” he said putting a plate in front of Alexa along with the juice. He poured himself some coffee and sat down with her.

“You’re not eating?” Alexa asked and JC shook his head.

“Nah, I’m not a breakfast person,” he said and she smiled.

“Neither was my dad,” she said softly.

“Not many men are,” JC said, then glanced at her. “Hey, after work today why don’t we go over to Justin’s? I think he’s having a barbeque, you can meet the other guys.”

“Sure, I’d like that,” Alexa said shyly, and JC smiled. “I’d like it a lot.” Alexa smiled back at him, he already made her feel at home and she liked that.


The day wore on and they were at Justin’s place for the annual barbeque. Alexa had found a good friend in Joey’s daughter Brianna and JC was standing with Joey watching the two girls.

“Is it just me or does she look like Alexandra?” Joey asked JC, who glanced at Joey and shrugged.

“I didn’t really notice, I mean we haven’t seen Alexandra in ten years so you can’t say that really,” JC said not wanting to get into the Alexa/ Alexandra conversation.

“So why is she staying with you then?” Joey asked and again JC shrugged.

“Her mother ran off,” JC said, and Joey looked at JC shocked.

“Really? Wow. Just like Laney huh?” Joey asked and JC nodded tentively.

“Yeah, just like her,” JC said looking back at Alexa. “She said she felt safe with me.”

“Well who wouldn’t?” Joey said patting JC on the back and laughing. “Damn, did she say why her mom ran of?” JC shrugged again.

“Something to do with her dad, I didn’t really get the details,” JC said not taking his eyes of Alexa, who was showing Brianna how to play the guitar.

“She’s really talented,” Joey said nodding towards the two girls and JC smiled in agreement.

“Yeah she is,” JC replied, Joey looked at his friend and smiled.

“You’re really taken by this girl eh?” Joey asked, JC looked at Joey and nodded.

“She reminds me of Alexandra,” he replied and Joey nodded.

“Yup, just like I said,” Joey replied. “Just like I said.”


“So you’re Alexa,” Chris said looking at the young girl with curly brown hair that he had been introduced to by Justin. “I’ve heard a lot about you, heard you play a mean guitar.”

Alexa blushed, “Yes, I’m Alexa and I play the guitar.”

“Cool, I’m Chris by the way,” Chris said shaking her hand then grabbing her in a big bear hug. “But don’t be so formal around me. So can I hear you play?” Alexa blushed again and picked up her guitar, never one to turn down a request.

“Um, okay. What do you want me to play?” She asked, hoping it was something she knew.

“Anything you want,” Chris said smiling and pulling up a chair so he could sit down.

“Okay...” Alexa said a bit hesitantly and began to warm up, as she did so Chris called the other guys over.

“Hey guys, come here Alexa’s gonna play us a little something!” He called and Alexa blushed, all the guys walked over to where the two were.

“You play guitar?” Lance asked coming up and sitting next to Chris. “I’m Lance by the way, and there talking to Jayce is Joey, and you probably know Justin and Chris obviously.” Alexa smiled softly.

“Hi,” she said and began strumming a few cords on the guitar.

“Okay then, why don’t you play us something?” Chris asked again settling down, “without any interruptions.” He looked at Lance who just shrugged, Alexa smiled.

“Sure,” she said and began her song.

“I may not be every mother’s dream for her little girl,
And my face may not grace the mind of everyone in the world,
But that’s all right as long as I can have one wish I pray.
When people look inside my life, I want them to say.

She’s got her father’s eyes, her father’s eyes,
Eyes that find the good in things, When good is not around,
Eyes that find the source of help, When help just can’t be found.
Eyes full of compassion seeing every pain.
Knowin’ what you’re going through, and feeling it the same.
Just like my Father’s eyes, my Father’s eyes, My Father’s eyes
Just like my Father’s eyes.

And on that day then we will pay for all the deeds we have done,
Good and bad they’ll all be had to see by everyone
And when you’re called to stand and tell just what you saw in me,
More than anything I know, I want your words to be,
She’s got her Father’s eyes, her Father’s eyes.”

When she was done all the guys clapped, including JC.

“That was, wow,” Chris said smiling broadly.

“Thanks,” Alexa said putting down her guitar. “It’s another song about my father, I didn’t really know him but my grandparents and mom said I have his eyes.”

“That’s really cool Alexa,” Lance said looking at his friends. “Right guys?” All the others guys were left speechless by this young girl’s insight, but they all nodded in agreement.

“Damn Jayce you got lucky,” Justin said after he got his voice back, and all the guys laughed. “I mean why couldn’t I have found her? Then I’d be her producer not you dude.”

“I guess I’m just lucky, right Alexa?” JC asked, his eyes smiling. Alexa smiled and nodded.

“Yeah I guess so,” she said shyly.

“What you produce for this little gem?” Lance asked, “I want to be a part of that too!”

“And me!” Chris called, and the others agreed.

“Well, I guess you’ll all have to talk to Johnny then, he’s her manager,” JC said and walked over to Alexa. “That was great; maybe if you want we can use it as a song on the new album?”

Alexa blushed and looked at him. “Are you sure? I mean it’s not really finished…” she began but JC shook his head.

“Yes I’m sure, I’ll run it by Johnny when he gets back,” JC said and Alexa nodded.

“Thank you Josh thanks a lot,” Alexa said, and this time she meant it.

Chapter Six.

Later on, after Justin’s big barbeque, which was a success seeing as Alexa got along with all the other guys, JC got the call he’d wanted for a long time.

“Josh?” Joel’s clearly unmistakable voice asked from the other end.

“Yeah?” JC asked, softly closing his bedroom door so Alexa wouldn’t hear him. “Anything?”

“Actually yes,” Joel replied, not hiding the smile in his voice. “We found Laney.”

“What? Are you sure?” JC asked excitedly and sat down on the bed to stop his legs from shaking. “Did she have Alexandra with her?”

“Yes we’re sure it’s her. They found her just out of county, but I’m afraid she didn’t have anyone with her, it was just her,” Joel replied, JC felt his good mood be drowned a bit.

“Oh,” he replied not bothering to sound excited because he wasn’t.

“But it’s a good thing Josh,” Joel tried to reassure him. “In fact we want you to come in and talk with her. She’s seeing one of our psychologists and they recommend that she talks to you first to get her on the right track.”

“Oh, well I think something can be arranged. She was diagnosed with a psychotic disorder when we were married, I forget what it is,” JC said trying to rack his brain to think of what Laney had.

“Paranoid Personality Disorder?” Joel asked, “They said she had that, it’s because she tends to have persuasive distrust in others, she claims it’s why she ran off with your daughter.”

“What that’s nuts,” JC said, “Why would she not trust me? I was so good to her.”

“I know Josh, but I think she was afraid of Alexandra’s safety, I think she feared you’d take her away from her,” Joel said and JC shook his head.

“I would never dream of it, I may have won the custody hearing but she was always welcome to see Alexandra, she knows that, I told her that,” he replied in disbelief. “So what are they going to do?”

“Well they want you to come in, not right away of course but sometime in the next week so they can get started with her treatment,” Joel said, JC nodded and ran a shaky hand through his hair.

“Yeah sure. Did she say anything about Alexandra?” JC asked and Joel sighed.

“No she didn’t, but I think she wants to tell you about it,” Joel replied. JC sighed and closed his eyes, was he ready to face his ex-wife? “Josh?” Joel asked and JC opened his eyes.

“Yeah? Um, okay why don’t you set up a time and call me? Anytime is good for me, just let me know,” JC said, and Joel agreed.

“Okay then, I’ll let you go. You have a lot to think about before then,” Joel said and JC nodded.

“Yeah I do. Thanks Joel, talk to you soon, bye,” JC replied wanting to get off the phone quickly, Joel must have sensed this because he said goodbye and hung up, leaving JC alone to figure out what in hell’s name he was going to say to Laney.


“Alexa?” JC asked peeping his head into the young girl’s room a few days later. Alexa looked up form her books and smiled at JC.

“Yeah Josh?” she asked not getting up. JC smiled and walked into the room.

“Um, I’m heading out for a bit,” he said looking at her. “I got a call from some people down at the station and they said they found my ex-wife, I have to go talk to her. Will you be okay here?” Alexa smiled happily at JC.

“They found your wife? That’s great; it’s the next step to finding your daughter right?” Alexa asked getting up and hugging JC. “Congrats Josh.”

“Thanks,” JC said blushing, “It’s not much but it’s a start, will you be okay here alone for a few hours?” Alexa nodded and waved him away.

“Yes, I’ll be okay. You just go and worry about finding your daughter,” Alexa said smiling.

“Okay I will,” JC said getting up and walking out; he stopped just at the door. “Well if there’s anything you need just give me a call okay? My numbers are on the fridge as are the other guys’ if you can’t contact me. Don’t open the door to anyone; I’ll lock up after me when I go.” Alexa smiled and nodded.

“Okay thanks, stop worrying about me so much,” she said laughing and JC blushed again.

“Yeah, but you’re like my daughter now. Over these past few days that we’ve spent together I’ve really felt connected to you, and I worry about you a lot okay?” JC asked, “Just I worry.”

Alexa smiled and walked over to hug him. “Well thank you for worrying Josh, but honestly don’t bother, go find you daughter. I hope you find her, you’re a great guy.”

“Thanks,” JC said hugging her back. “Well, um, I better go then. See you in a few hours okay? And don’t let anyone in.”

“Yeah I won’t don’t worry,” Alexa laughed, “Now go and bring home your daughter!” JC smiled and kissed Alexa on the cheek.

“You’re really special you know that?” he said, “I hope you find your father one day.” Alexa now blushed and waved him away.

“I hope so too, now go,” she said and JC laughed in defeat.

“Okay I’m going,” he said, “Bye.” He waved and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. As he left, he felt a tiny bit of disappointment. Over the past few days he’d grown closer to Alexa, forming a special bond with her and now he wished that by some miracle Alexa would be his daughter but he knew that would never happen.


JC walked into the small, darkened room and held his breath. He hadn’t remembered what she looked like very well, but once he laid eyes on her he knew it was her. From her frail, snaky figure to her rusty red hair, he knew that the woman he was looking at was his ex-wife, Laney.

“Laney?” JC asked walking up to her; she turned around in her seat, not bothering to get up and glared at him with an icy-stare.

“Yes Josh?” she asked, still remembering what she called him when they were married.

“Oh my god, I can’t…” he began his voice trailing off, but he was interrupted by a short, plump woman with black curls.

“Josh Chasez?” the lady asked, and JC nodded as he turned to face her. The lady smiled at stuck out her hand. “I’m Marie Hargrove, Laney’s therapist, so glad you could come. We have a lot to discuss.” JC smiled his million dollar smile and shook her hand.

“I’m glad I can help,” he said sitting down. “I’m sure there’s a lot to discuss.” He glanced at his ex-wife who turned her face away and continued to look straight ahead.

“Right then, why don’t we get started?” Dr Hargrove said sitting down and noticing the tension between JC and Laney. “Mr. Chasez, um, your wife...”

“Ex-wife,” JC corrected and Dr. Hargrove nodded.

“Yes, your ex-wife has been diagnosed with Paranoid Personality Disorder, which means she has a high amount of distrust towards people and finds it very hard to accept them, including myself,” the doctor began, “Now we’re here to discuss..”

“Where’s Alexandra?” JC cut in, not wanting to waste time and looking right at Laney. “Is she okay? Hell is she alive?”

“Mr. Chasez!” the doctor snapped and JC turned his head to face her.

“Sorry doctor, but I came here to find my daughter. I don’t care about anything else, so if you don’t mind let’s cut the bullshit and go straight to the issue here,” JC said and turned back to Laney. “Where is my daughter Laney?” Laney gave JC an icy stare but still refused to answer him.

“Okay Mr. Chasez,” Dr. Hargrove said and looked at Laney, “Laney…”

“What?” Laney snapped looking at the doctor.

“Where is Alexandra?” Dr. Hargrove asked softly and Laney shrugged looking at JC.

“I don’t know okay? The little brat ran out on me a few days back, when I found out you were looking for us,” Laney stated point blank, JC stared at her in awe. He couldn’t believe Laney had just said that about his little girl, he couldn’t believe that this was the woman who’d raised his child.

“Well do you at least have a picture of her?” JC asked trying not to get angry.

“Why? So you can go find her and take her from me?” Laney asked, “No thanks.”

“Well I would say it’d be better than living with you Laney,” JC snapped his cool totally lost. “After all you were the one who ran away with her AFTER the court granted me custody.”

“Well what did you want me to do Josh?” Laney yelled. “You would have taken her from me and I would have never seen her again!” JC looked at this crazy woman with disbelief and shook his head.

“No Laney, we both know I would have allowed you to see her when ever you wanted,” he said and Laney shook her head.

“Don’t bullshit me Josh. These people may not know you, but I know you, I know who you really are,” Laney snapped.

“Really? Then who am I Laney? Am I not the man you married? Because it’s been ten years, I doubt you know me,” JC snapped back.

“No Josh. You seem to be this nice, quiet man but deep down inside, once all the cameras are off you would have turned right around and snapped. Did you know he beat me?” Laney asked the doctor who gasped in shock.

“I did not, stop telling shit lies Laney. You know I was good to you,” JC said totally ignoring the doctor.

“Mr. Chasez is this true what Laney is saying?” Dr Hargrove asked and JC glared at her.

“Of course not! If it was true don’t you think you would know by not doctor? I am one of the most famous men in the world; don’t you think that people would know by now if I was a violent asshole?” JC asked and the doctor fell silent. “Yeah I didn’t think so. So Laney I’m going to ask you only one more time, and only once, where is my daughter?” He looked intently at Laney who refused to answer him, finally the doctor spoke.

“Laney, please for all our sakes. Please tell Mr. Chasez what he needs to know about your daughter so we can continue your treatment. Wouldn’t you feel a lot better knowing she was somewhere safe?” the doctor asked and Laney glared at her.

“She won’t be safe with him!” Laney snapped and JC rolled his eyes.

“Fine then Laney,” JC said, “At least do you have a picture of her?” Laney glared at him, considering.

“I told you, I’m not giving you a picture so you can go find her,” Laney snapped and JC stood up.

“Fine if that’s the way you ant to play it,” he said, “I’ll come back everyday until you give me a picture or tell me where she is, and I won’t give up so don’t even think about it. Doctor.” JC looked one last time at his ex-wife and walked out of the room, feeling that everything had just got a little bit harder than he wanted.

Chapter Seven.


JC got home and rubbed his eyes, he could not believe how Laney could have been like that. He walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge grabbing a cold bottle of water and taking a long chug form it.

“Josh? You’re back!” Alexa’s voice came from behind him. JC jumped, but found a small smile forming on his lips.

“Alexa, you scared me,” he said placing the water down and turning to face her. “How was your day?” Alexa studied him and shook her head.

“No Josh, what happened? You look depressed, did Laney not show up?” Alexa asked sympathetically. JC smiled at the girl’s concern but shook his head.

“No, she turned up she just refused to tell me about my daughter, claimed I would lock her up,” he said with a small smile. He wanted to get away from the conversation so turned it to Alexa. “So what happened in your day?”

“Oh, I got a call from Johnny, he said they found my mom,” Alexa said, but JC didn’t see a smile.

“That’s a good thing right?” he asked and Alexa shrugged.

“I don’t know, I guess,” she replied softly, “I mean I wouldn’t be too excited if I had to go back, but you know.”

“Oh,” JC replied not knowing what to say. “But will you get to see her?”

“Um yeah, Johnny’s gonna come by tomorrow and take me to see her. Is that okay by you?” Alexa asked and JC nodded.

“Sure it is,” he said, “Hey who knows maybe she’ll have changed right? Maybe this would have opened up her eyes to what a good girl you are.” Alexa smiled sadly but just shrugged, and it was then that JC knew, that girl had no faith in her mother what so ever.


“Josh?” JC groaned as he heard the voice of Joel first thing the next morning. Now every time he heard that voice he knew Laney had done something.

“What happened now?” JC asked trying to sit up, still half a sleep.

“We were going through the things Laney had on her, and um, we found a picture,” Joel replied from the other end. JC sat right up, and wide awake.

“What? Are you sure? A picture of Alexandra? Of my daughter?” JC asked the excitement to much to hide.

“Yes Josh of Alexandra,” Joel said laughing. “We’d like you to come down and pick it up so we can go through what the next steps would be.”

“Sure,” JC said jumping out of bed and heading for the bathroom to get ready. “When and where?”

“Whoa, hold your horses Josh,” Joel laughed and JC frowned, what was this man thinking? He had found a clue to his daughter, and he wanted him to slow down? “You can come in in about an hour. Does that sound good?”

“Sure,” JC said checking his watch. “So at like nine?”

“Yeah nine,” Joel replied. “Congratulations Josh, you may have just found what you need.”

“Thanks,” JC replied and smiled at himself in the mirror. “Bye Joel, see you then.”

“Bye Josh,” Joel said and hung up. JC looked at himself one more time in the mirror and cheered. He was one step closer to finding his daughter.


Alexa twiddled nervously with the hem of her dress as Johnny drove them in silence to the police station where her mother was being held.

“Alexa?” Johnny asked breaking her thought train and looking at her with a soft smile. “You okay honey? If you don’t want to go we don’t have to.”

“No Johnny its okay,” Alexa said softly and smiled at the older man.

“Okay, if you’re sure,” Johnny said shrugging and continued to drive. As they neared the station the silence grew louder and Alexa finally turned to Johnny.

“Johnny?” she asked and Johnny glanced at her.

“Yeah Alexa?” he asked.

“What if she hasn’t changed? What if she’s the same? Do I have to go back to her, or can I still live with Josh?” Alexa asked and Johnny smiled.

“I don’t know Alexa, you’d have to ask him, but I’m sure he won’t mind. Do you like living with him?” Johnny asked and Alexa nodded.

“Yeah, I feel safe there,” she said. “He makes me feel like family.” Johnny smiled and turned to the young girl.

“Yeah Jayce is special like that, he can make everyone feel like family,” Johnny said as they pulled up to the station and he parked the car. “Okay, so you ready to do this?”

Alexa hesitated for a bit before unbuckling herself and nodding, “Yeah I’m ready.”

“Okay then, let’s do this,” Johnny said unbuckling his own seat belt and getting out of the car. Once they were both out he locked the doors and they walked inside. As they entered the building Johnny noticed Alexa tense up and he turned to her, “Alexa?”

“Yeah Johnny?” Alexa asked looking up at the older man.

“I’m here for you okay? We all are, remember that,” Johnny said smiling, Alexa nodded and smiled back. That was the only thing she knew for sure.


“It can’t be,” JC said as he sat in Joel’s office at nine o’clock exactly that morning. “Are you sure?” Joel smiled and nodded, as JC looked at the picture in his hands for the hundredth time.

“We’re sure Josh, that was the picture she had in her bag,” Joel said and JC sat in shock. This is so unreal; JC thought and ran a finger shakily down the picture.

“She looks just like me,” he whispered and Joel laughed.

“I thought so too,” Joel replied, “Well then I guess the next step would be finding her?” JC looked at Joel and shook his head.

“Um, no thanks. That won’t be necessary,” JC said and Joel looked at him with confusion. JC never thought it’s be this easy.

“What do you mean Josh? Don’t you want to find her?” Joel asked and JC smiled.

“I already have,” he said, “Thanks for all your help Joel I’ll send you the payment by the end of the week.” JC stood up and shook Joel’s hand.

“Okay, if you’re sure,” Joel said uneasily and JC smiled.

“I’m sure,” he said and began to leave. “Thanks Joel.” As JC left the detective’s office, he felt a sense of warmth inside him. Finally everything he’d ever wanted was here, he’d found his daughter.

Chapter Eight.


JC came home with a huge smile on his face, and the first thing he did was go seek out Alexa.

“Alexa?” he called through the house as he walked into the kitchen and opened up the fridge grabbing a bottle of water.

“Yeah Josh?” Alexa asked from behind him, JC smiled and turned to face her.

“Hey, how was your day with you mom?” JC asked, and Alexa shrugged.

“It went,” she said and JC felt his anger come back again.

“I’m sorry it was that bad,” JC said softly but Alexa smiled.

“It’s okay,” she said, “Um, Josh, can I ask you something?” JC looked at her, and his heart beat almost stopped. Oh shit, now she was going to ask him everything he wasn’t sure how to answer.

“Yeah sure,” he squeaked and sat down at the nearest stool to recompose himself.

“Well, I went to see my mom as you know, and well, um, she hasn’t changed,” Alexa said, JC let out a small sigh of relief. “And I was wondering, can I stay here?” JC looked at Alexa and smiled.

“What? Yeah sure, like I said, you can stay forever,” he said and he meant it more than she knew.

“Are you sure? I mean, what if you find your daughter?” Alexa asked and JC smile grew.

“I’m positive,” he said and took a deep breath in knowing he had to tell her, “And as for my daughter… I’ve already found her.”

“Oh,” Alexa said a bit disappointed. JC noticed this and took her hand in his holding it tightly.

“Alexa, look at me,” he said and Alexa slightly raised her eyes.

“So I guess, I should go then,” Alexa said and JC shook his head vigorously.

“That’s just it Alexa, you shouldn’t go,” JC said and Alexa looked at him curiously.

“What do you mean?” she said, and JC smiled.

“You can’t go,” he said softly, “Not when we’ve just found each other.”


Alexa was very confused at JC’s confession, and looked at him.

“What do you mean Josh?” she asked, and JC smiled his famous smile.

“Come I want to show you something,” he said and took her hand and lead her into the living room. “Sit.” She nodded and did as he asked, as he pulled a photo album from one of the book shelves and sat down next to her.

“What is it?” she asked, a little bit afraid, but JC seemed to calm her down. He smiled and looked at her with his kind blue-grey eyes.

“Alexa, I want to show you pictures of my daughter,” he said and Alexa nodded nervously.

“Um, okay,” she said unsure of where this was heading. JC smiled and set the album between the two of them. He opened up the first page, and when he did so Alexa’s heart stopped. “Oh my God.”

“I know, that’s what I said,” JC answered softly, “Alexa, do you know who that is?”

“It’s me,” she barely whispered, and JC nodded. “And you.”


JC and Alexa spent the next few hours just sitting in each others presence and soaking it up. They had missed out on ten years of this, and they couldn’t have wanted more. They took a few moments to put the pieces together, and once they did it all seemed so strange that they hadn’t known.

JC told Alexa the truth about why he had left her, he hadn’t wanted to. He explained that he’d been granted custody of Alexa and when he had gone to get her, Laney had taken her and disappeared. He also told her how over the years, he had spent many nights and days searching, praying that he’d find her.

On the other hand, Alexa told JC everything that had happened in her own life. She said that Laney had tried to make Alexa believe that JC was an evil man. Laney had never told Alexa the truth about her father, in fear that Alexa would find him and leave her.

In the end now here they sat, as father and daughter watching each other, and telling each other stories about the past ten years. A stranger would have told you, that if you walked by the house that day and looked in you would have seen a father and daughter sitting side by side, but what he wouldn’t have told you is what was really there.

There sitting next to one another was a father, who had finally found the child he had once lost and a daughter who finally found her father whom she thought didn’t want her. And they both had those same eyes, the eyes that the entire world loves, those perfect blue-grey orbs that sparkled when they smiled. The Chasez smile.

Chapter Nine.
Ten Years Later.


There’s one thing I know for sure,
She was sent here from heaven and she’s
Daddy’s little girl.


JC stood outside the chapel doors waiting nervously for his daughter to come so that he could walk her down the aisle. He looked around, to his left, then to his right and pattered around anxiously.


As I drop my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes and
I thank God for all the joy in my life


“Jayce,” JC looked up and saw Chris standing by him, smiling his old man smile. “Good luck.”

“Thanks,” JC said smiling and looked around him, wondering where she was.

“Daddy?” He found himself smiling at the sound of her voice and turned to face her, his whole breath went away.


Oh, but most of all
For the butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer:
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair.


“Alexa honey, you look amazing,” JC said smiling at his daughter and how beautiful she was. She blushed softly and smiled.

“Thank you daddy,” she said and walked over to him giving him a kiss on the cheek.


“Walk beside the pony, Daddy, it’s my first ride.”
“I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried.”
In all that I’ve done wrong I know I must
Have done something right to deserve a hug
Every morning and Butterfly kisses at night.


JC smiled at Alexa and took her hand in his. She looked so much like her mother, yet a lot like him. With her brown curls up in a bun, held together with little white flowers, and her eyes shinning like never before.

“Are you ready?” he asked her and she nodded.

“Yes daddy. But don’t let go of my hand till its okay,” she said, and JC nodded, he wouldn’t.


Sweet 16 today
She’s looking like her mama a little more everyday
One part woman, the other part girl.
To perfume and make-up from ribbons and curls
Trying out her wings in a great big world.


JC took a deep breath in and looked at his daughter. She definitely had grown up, she was now a woman and he was proud of her.

“Daddy?” Alexa asked and JC stepped out of his trance.

“Yeah honey?” he asked softly, the grip on her hand getting tighter, he was nervous.

“I’ll be okay,” she said and he smiled. They pushed the doors open and began walking down the aisle, towards her new life.


But I remember
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer, sticking
Little white flowers all up in her hair.
“You know how much I love you, Daddy, But if you
Don’t mind I’m only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time.”
With all that I’ve done wrong I must have done
Something right to deserve her love every morning
And butterfly kisses at night.


With each step that he took, JC felt his heart tighten. He had only just got her back, or so it felt. And now he was giving her to someone else to love. He felt the tears brimming his eyes as he remembered the past ten years.

How he’d found her, and kept her warm and safe, away from her mother. He knew that Danny was a good guy, but no one would ever be good enough for his little girl, not now or ever.


All the precious time
Like the wind, the years go by
Precious butterfly
Spread your wings and fly


They reached the end of the aisle, and Alexa looked at him smiling.

“Daddy, it’s okay to let go of my hand now,” she said softly. JC smiled at her and kissed her cheek.

“I know honey, I’m just scared,” he whispered into her ear. She laughed lightly and smiled at him.

“What are you afraid of daddy?” she asked and he blushed.

“I’m afraid of loosing my little girl,” he said softly, there were tears in her eyes too.

“Its okay daddy,” she said, “I’ll be alright.”


She’ll change her name today.
She’ll make a promise and I’ll give her away.
Standing in the bride-room just staring at her.
She asked me what I’m thinking and I said “I’m not
Sure- I just feel like I’m losing my baby girl.”
She leaned over and gave me butterfly kisses with her mamma there,
Sticking white flowers all up in her hair.
“Walk me down the aisle, Daddy- it’s just about time.”
“Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy? Daddy, don’t cry!”


JC looked at her, and she looked like a gem. She was so beautiful, he knew she would be alright but something in him didn’t want to listen.

“Jayce come on,” Johnny whispered in his ear and gently pulled him away. Johnny glanced at the priest to let him begin the ceremony.

“We are gathered here today…” the priest began, with JC’s eyes still on his daughter.


Oh, with all that I’ve done wrong I must have
Done something right.
To deserve your love every morning and butterfly
Kisses- I couldn’t ask God for more, man this is what love is.


“So do you Alexandra Kylie Chasez take this man to be your husband, to love and to hold, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?” the priest asked, JC felt the tears flowing.

“I do,” Alexa whispered softly.

“Then, with the power invested in me I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.” Then with every thing that he had in him, JC let her go. Because one thing was for sure, she was still his little girl. For now and forever.


I know I gotta let her go, but I’ll always remember
Every hug in the morning and butterfly kisses.