Looking out the window at the scenery passing him by, he couldn't believe he was actually returning to this god forsaken town. He had left his past behind when he left to begin his own life, one away from all the craziness that is Shelby Forest, Tennessee. Ah, Shelby, a place where everybody knows everybody's business. You can try your hardest, but no matter what, your business is out there for the whole town to see, or hear about at least. Something he strongly detested about the people he knew so well.

If he hated this place so badly, then why return? The love of a mother is enough to make you return to Hell itself if need be. She had called and completely begged her oldest son to come home for the summer. She refused to allow him to spend another summer in the city, away from everyone who loved him.

Love.

Why at that word did he suddenly shake? He knew why. It was because he had broken the heart of the most perfect woman he has ever known for such selfish reasons. That was the biggest reason he hadn't wanted to return home. Raleigh. Anyone who knew and loved her were suddenly turned against him, all because he was an asshole and wrote her that damn letter. The letter that would undoubtedly make her hate him forever. Which he couldn't blame her, for he too all but hated himself. But given a few choice words from Raleigh's friends, which he knew he would be getting the second he showed his face in Shelby, he probably would hate himself.

Turning right at the big boulder and the stream, he drove down the familiar dirt road, which lead to his destination; home sweet home. Parking in the large driveway, He got out and took a long look at his childhood home. So many wonderful memories filled his mind. Running around the backyard with his dog, playing hide-and-seek with all his friends, the snacks his mother always seemed to make, his bedroom, all those nights with Raleigh. He couldn't help but to sigh at her name.

Raleigh.

And there was that bad feeling again. How would he ever get through this summer knowing she was only a few miles away? He was such a coward, running away with his tail between his legs like some puppy dog, the fear of confrontation becoming nearly too much to bear.

Taking a deep breath, he walked towards the house, and back into his past

Walking down the unpaved road, Josh thought about how happy he actually was to be back home. How could someone be so dead set against something, but then do a complete 180 and be so completely happy about that thing? That's what Josh did. He had been gone for far too long. He needed this time to catch up with old friends and old times, maybe even more so.

Hearing some laughter, Josh brought his attention across the street down a little ways to a couple guys wrestling. A smile immediately spread across his features as he recognized the guys as Justin and Joey. Crossing the dead street, Josh ran over to his old friends whom he hadn't seen since Christmas.

"Nice to know some things never change." He said, smiling down at the two guys, only to be knocked over by them.

"Finally, man! We didn't think we'd ever see you around here again." Justin said, giving him a nugie.

"Nice to know you still remember where you're from!"

"Alright! OK! I guess I deserve that, now will you let me up?" He said, fighting them off him.

"Fine, fine." They both agreed, standing up and helping him to his feet. "So, how ya been man? How's school? Ya know, since you can't pick up a phone and call every once in a while and check in with your buds!"

"I know, I'm sorry. I guess I just figured ya'll hated me since...well, you know."

"Well, we were all pissed at you at one point or another, ‘cause let's face it, that was fucked up, man. But you're our friend either way."

"Yeah, what he said." Joey was never one for intelligent conversation.

"Thanks guys." Eyeing the coffee shop to his right, he took a dive. "She still work there?"

"You know she does. She ain't gonna leave that damn coffee shop until she goes away for music school."

"So, she's still doing music?"

"Of course she is. I don't know of anything that ever meant anything more to her than her music." Then Justin looked into Josh's eyes. "Even you."

"I know." Josh gave his friend a little smile, still eyeing the old shop.

"You wanna go in? She's working."

"Nah. I'm not ready yet." Josh said, shaking his head.

"When are you gonna stop being a fucking coward and face the fact that Raleigh at the very least deserves an explanation as to why you broke her heart? And in that way too!"

Wow. Neither Josh nor Justin were expecting that to come from Joey. But it did, and Josh knew he was right. He couldn't keep running from the choice he had made about his five year relationship with the woman he loved all his life.

"You're right, Joe. I am a coward and I can't keep running. But I'm not going to go in there and make a scene while she's working. Is she playing tonight?"

"Yeah. Usually goes on every other night at nine. But lately she hasn't been playing. Been busy with a lot of stuff. Tonight's her night though. She's doing a huge concert type thing." Justin informed him. "See you there?"

"Yeah man. Count on it." Looking around he sighed. "Well, I should get going. I was on my way to get some things for my mom from Bud's."

"Alright, catch ya later. Don't be late!"

"I won't." Josh gave each of them a "manly hug" before walking away. You know the one. Where they do a half hand shake, half hug type thing. Pretty dumb.

Giving the two a wave, Josh walked away in the direction of Bud's, the town grocery store. His mind was filled with thoughts of Raleigh and how she'd react once she saw him. How would he even react? He had been told she looks a little different than the last time he had seen her, but how different could she look? Josh thought she was perfect the way she was, why would she need to change that?

Ok, so every now and again she'd complain about being too chubby, but girls who you couldn't decipher between a twig and her, that just wasn't attractive to him. She had this long, curly brown hair that he had loved to run his fingers through, and the smell of her shampoo was just amazing. An aphrodisiac all in it's own. Her eyes were almost a lilac color, one that he loved the most. No matter how often he saw them, Josh just could not get enough of her beautiful, amazing eyes. He didn't know what it was, but there was something powerful about them. It was like, without even trying, she could look deep into your soul to find how you really, truly feel about something if you weren't man, or woman, enough to speak the truth.

Which was another thing he adored about this amazing young woman. When it came down to it, she could never lie to him, or anybody she cared that much about. But she was fully trustworthy. You could tell her the biggest secret about one of her best friends, and she would hold it to her grave. Which was why Josh felt so terrible. The way he had ended things, it was just horrible. She was such a true person, somebody he could easily see himself spending the rest of his life with, which he had spent most of it with already. And he had lied to her about so many things. When he came home for Christmas, he pretended everything was fine. He acted as though nothing had changed, when in fact, it had. And then as soon as he got back to school in New York, he sent the letter that crushed her life.

How could somebody be so heartless? So uncaring? Well, maybe that's what he wanted all along. To make her believe he was heartless and uncaring, so then maybe, it would make it easier for her to hate him.

~*~

"Josh? Honey, you in here?" Karen, Josh's mother, said, knocking on the bathroom door.

"Yeah, I'll be out in a second, Mom." Josh shouted out to her, before taking another look at himself in the mirror.

Was he really ready to see her again? He didn't really think so, but ready or not, here he comes.

Opening the door, he told his mom, "it's all yours." Before walking past her down the hallway.

"Where you off to?"

"I ran into Justin and Joey earlier when I was going to Bud's for you, so now I'm going down to The Landing to meet up with them."

"Mmhmm, you better not do anything to upset Raleigh while she's playing." Karen warned him. She had loved that girl like she was her own daughter. But Josh was her son so of course she still loved him and reasoned that there were good reasons for doing what he did, although she had yet to hear some of them.

"Don't worry Mom. I'm gonna be keeping a low profile, believe me."

"Good. I'll see you later, Baby. Don't be home too late."

"Yeah, I know. Bye Mom." He gave her a kiss on the cheek before grabbing his car keys and leaving the house. He couldn't believe how nervous he felt. It was like he hadn't seen her in years, when it had only been five months. Maybe it was because he hadn't had the balls to break things off in person, or even over the phone. Yeah, that had to be it.

Throwing the car into park, Josh got out and walked towards the coffee shop he had come to know very well, and back into his past. Walking in, he was greeted with the familiar scent of the different coffee types. Which brought tons of different memories, some good, some bad. But they were welcome. It had been too long.

"Dude, you made it!" Joey yelled across the room, before jumping up and running over to tackle him.

"Nice to see you too." Josh laughed as Joey picked him up off the floor. "Now put me down."

"Alright, alright. Come on, the guys are all here." Joey started to lead him over to their table next to the platform where Raleigh was going to be singing, but before Josh could even think to move, Janie, Raleigh's older sister, was in front of him.

"What are you doing here."

"I'm fine, how are you, Janie?" He said sarcastically.

"Cut the bullshit. Nobody break's Ray's heart and gets away with it. Not even someone who was practically family. Now, I ask again. What are you doing here?" Josh could read all over her face and eyes she wasn't joking. She always had her sister's back, and if she didn't one of their brothers certainly would have. He had witnessed many people almost get the crap beat out of them because they did or said something to Raleigh. You didn't screw with the Coons family. They were close.

"I'm just here to hang out and catch up with my buddies. Is that a crime?"

"It is if you make a scene with Ray. Just watch yourself." With that, Janie left him and went back to waitressing. The Landing was a family business, which is partly why Raleigh never had the heart to leave it. Not until she goes away to college anyway.

Walking to the table Joey was leading him to before Janie blocked his way, Josh eyed James. "Hey guys."

"Josh? Damn, feels like it's been forever." Chris, the oldest of the group of friends said, standing up to give him a hug.

"I know what you mean. So how you been, man? How's Mandy doing? You two still together?"

"Oh yeah, man. We're doing better than ever. She's uh..."

"What? She's what?" Josh urged as he watched Chris smile from ear to ear and scratch his face.

"She's pregnant, dude. I'm gonna be a dad." It was so easy to tell that Chris was so happy, as happy as he'd ever been. He'd always talk about marrying Amanda Knowles and raising a family with her one day. They were sweethearts, not just as kids, but all through high school and college. They made a long distant relationship work. Theirs was the perfect example of a strong relationship. One that could make it through all time. One Josh and Raleigh obviously hadn't had.

"Wow, man. Congrats. I'm happy for you." Josh said, giving Chris a pat on his shoulder. And he really was happy for the man. He would make a great father, because he had a great father.

"Thanks." Chris beamed, happiness oozing out of him. With the lights dimming, the guys sat down and everyone became quiet when they heard Mr. Coons' voice booming through the speakers all around the cafe.

"Alright ya'll. I know what ya'll have been waiting for, and it's that time!" He stopped and waited a minute as everyone screamed. Looking around himself, Josh could swear all of Shelby and half of Memphis was there tonight, that's how packed it was. And it wasn't all that big either. "So, without further adue, it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you, my daughter, with her brand new look, give it up ya'll, for Raleigh!" Not one light shown, but tons of voices screamed for the woman. When he had left, Raleigh was not this popular. Did the people love her voice that much? Then two purple lights shown down on her still body as the music began. Or did they just love to look at her?

She came on with something like Josh had never seen before. A black top that hugged her breasts, and showing quite a bit of cleavage, and didn't cover any of her stomach. The sleeves went all the way down her arms, and flared out at the ends. The skirt, if you'd call it that, was very low-cut, with a long slit up her left leg, going almost all the way up her leg to the top of the skirt. Both pieces were black with designs and a few sequins on the outer layer that sparkled perfectly in the lighting. Her shoes were very high strappy things that Josh had no idea how she was dancing in. Did she dress like this often to perform? Last he knew, she wasn't a superstar, and The Landing just had small people sing a few songs acoustically. Not have a big fiasco of a concert. But she did look good, he had to admit. His eyes unable to tear from her body. Her hair was definitely shorter than the last time he saw her, at least by a foot, but it was still to her chest. She had silver hoop earrings on, along with a lot of make-up. Mainly black eyeliner. Still scanning her new fit, tan perfected body, Josh's mouth dropped open and eyes widened at what he saw. She had her belly button pierced, along with a tattoo on her lower back. This was definitely not the girl he once knew. She hated needles, couldn't even be alone with the doctor when he told her she needed a shot. How in the hell did she do this?

Still, sitting there in complete shock, and awe at his ex-girlfriend, Josh wondered what drove him to break up with this woman. She was amazing, inside, and out. The way she sang and danced with such passion, it amazed him. She amazed him. She had gone through three songs already, all of which were like nothing he had heard from her before.

Then, he watched as she sat down on a stool and took a sip from her water bottle. Then she put the microphone to her beautiful lips, and she spoke in that oh so angelic voice Josh never could get enough of. What the hell was wrong with this man? Was he completely insane?

"Hey ya'll." Raleigh smiled at the crowd. "Wow, there is a lot of people here tonight, I'm not use to these kind of crowds." She let out a little giggle as everyone cheered yet again, did it ever stop? "I'm guessing you like the new stuff?" And more loud screams. "Good. So do I. How about the look? Do I pull it off?" She stood up and twirled around for everyone to see, and of course, they cheered. "Well thank you. Mom made it for me. I wasn't so sure of it, but I guess I must look good according to you guys." Her smile never once fell, even when she locked eyes with Josh. She seemed a little, hell, a lot shocked to see him, but would never let it show while on stage. This is what she was born for. She was always meant for bigger and better things than this little town. Those things being in the spotlight on a huge stage performing for millions of screaming, adoring fans. That's all she wanted more than anything. Swallowing, Raleigh looked down to the floor for a second before looking back up and bringing the microphone back to her mouth. "Well, I'm gonna bring things down a bit, hope ya'll don't mind." Of course they don't. "Well, as most of you know, Grandma Coons died last week." What? Josh felt like screaming. She died? How? All these questions, and tons more, ran through his mind. "And uh, it was really hard for my family and I. But you all stuck by our side and helped out in everyway you possibly could. And we thank you from the bottom of our hearts." Clearing her throat, she was obviously getting choked up, she spoke again. "This is a song I wrote a few days ago when I was just sitting up in my bedroom. My good friend, James here, is such a sweetheart. He's going to help me get through this. James will be playing the piano for me, and help me through the lyrics." She said, with her hand on his shoulder, his hand planted firmly on top of hers as to say he wasn't going anywhere, which of course infuriated Josh. Looking to the ceiling, Raleigh closed her eyes. "Wherever you are, Grammy, we love you, we miss you, and we hope to see you soon. This is for you."

Taking one more look at the crowd, and yes, Josh, she took a breath and closed her eyes, letting the words flow through her.

I really miss you
There's something that I gotta say

The things we did, the things we said
Keep coming back to me and make me smile again
You show me how to face the truth
Everything that's good in me I owe to you

Though the distance that's between us
Now may seem to be too far
It will never separate us
Deep inside, I know you are...

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close, everyday
Every step along the way
Even though for now we've got to say goodbye
I know you will be forever in my life
Never gone

Oh no no no no

I walk along, these empty streets
There is not a second you're not here with me
The love you gave, the grace you show
You'll always give me strength and be my cornerstone
Somehow you found a way to see the best I have in me
As long as time goes on
I swear to you that you will be...

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close, everyday
Every step along the way
Even though for now we've got to say goodbye
I know you will be forever in my life

Never gone from me
If there's one thing I believe
I will see you somewhere down the road again

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close, everyday
Every step along the way
Even though for now we've got to say goodbye
I know you will be forever in my life

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close, everyday
Every step along the way

Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are

With the fading out of the piano and background music, everyone was silent for a moment, just soaking it all in, but then everyone burst out with cheers and applause. Every single person in there with tears staining their face, including Raleigh as she hugged the life out of James before he took his seat back with the guys. But not before giving Josh a stern look.

Wiping her eyes, Raleigh smiled at the crowd, who were still cheering wildly. "Thank you."

After the concert, Josh attempted to get close to Raleigh so they could talk, but it was quite evident she was trying extra hard to keep away from him. Giving up and deciding he would talk to her another time, Josh said goodbye to the guys and left for his car. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of a red dot go up, linger there for a moment, and then go back down. It was obviously the red glow of a cigarette. That didn't surprise him, a lot of the people here smoked. The person hidden behind the glow, however, did shock the hell out of him.

"Ray?" Josh said, approaching her slowly.

"Oh God." She rolled her eyes and put out her cigarette before turning to go back in the cafe.

Softly putting a hand on her arm, he spoke to her in a calm, yet rushed voice. "No, please. Don't go. I just want to talk."

Stopping, Raleigh turned and gave him one of those looks. One as if to say "what the fuck?" "Now you want to talk? Five months after you break up a twelve year relationship, you want to talk to me? There is nothing you can say to make the hurt go away." If looks could kill, Josh would be dead where he stood. Her piercing eyes feeling as though they were throwing darts right through him.

"I know that. I wish there was something I could do or say to take it away, but there isn't. And for that I am sorry. But please, just let me explain."

"What's to explain? I'm sure that damn letter you sent explained everything you felt. Short, sweet, and to the god damned point." She said, bitterness oozing off every syllable.

"What to explain is everything I was feeling five months ago!"

"And what was that? Did I do something to make you hate me and not want to be with me anymore? Please Josh, tell me. I have to know why you did that! Why you couldn't even pick up a friggin' phone, the closest thing to saying it to my face. Why, Josh? WHY!?"

She was on the verge of breaking down right then and there into sobbing tears. "When I came home for Christmas break, I had every intension of breaking things off then. But when I saw you, I just couldn't. I had so many reasons to break it off, but I forgot them all as soon as I was back your loving arms again. All those times we made love, I knew it was going to be the last time, so I wanted to make our time together count. And when I left and returned back to college, all the reasons I had came rushing back to me." Looking away for a second, Josh took a breath. Returning his gaze to Raleigh, who was turned sideways with her arms crossed and tears streaming down her face, he continued. "I loved you so much it hurt. It hurt too bad to be that far from you. And I knew we could never be. We were so far as it was. And at the end of the summer you'll be going to LA to follow your dreams, and I'll be returning to New York to finish school. By the time I graduate, you'll be a big superstar, and you would have forgotten about me. Tonight brought those feelings back. There was just too much time and space between us."

Finally meeting his eyes, Raleigh had a look on her face as though she was confused. "If our love was as strong as we made it out to be, space can separate us, but time cannot break us apart. But I guess I was disillusioned. Living in a fairy tale."

"I thought that too. But it became so unbearable, and I knew I couldn't leave school and come home. All that was in my mind was Mandy and Chris. They had made it, so could we. But the rational part of me, I realized we would never work." His voice was so soft and gentle, it killed Raleigh that much more to hear it. In the back of her mind she had always known this too. But she never wanted to admit it. Josh was everything to her. She fell to pieces when she had gotten that letter. She had even stopped playing music for a while, but it didn't stop her from writing. A lot of the songs she had performed tonight were new, but none were of those piles she had from the things Josh had told her in the letter. "And I couldn't do it to your face, because I was such a coward. I couldn't hear you cry. I couldn't know how badly I had broken your heart. And I wanted you to hate me, so then maybe I wouldn't be hurting this badly either."

Closing her eyes, Raleigh had tried so hard not cry any harder than she already had been, but she failed miserably. Tears streamed down her face, her lip quivered, her shoulders shook. Shaking her head, she hoped he'd get the hint that it was too painful to talk about still, and to go away. But of course he wouldn't.

"Ray," Josh stepped closer to her, his voice to soft she could barley hear it, but at the same time, it was like a boisterous thunder to her ears. "Are you happy?"

Opening her eyes, she looked over at him. "I haven't been happy in a long time, Josh." She whispered to him. And it was true. The last time she remembered being truly happy, was over Christmas. All those times they had made sweet, passionate love, she felt like this was going to last forever. He hadn't led her to believe anything different, so why should she have? That's what hurt the most.

"And I'm the reason." It was more of a statement than a question. He couldn't bring himself to look her in the eye any longer. How could one after doing what he had done?

"Everything has a reason, Josh. And you're mine. For living, and dying." With that, she left him out on the dark street and went back into the cafe, right into the arms of James. Josh saw him through the door hugging Raleigh so tight, and what infuriated him even more, was when he lifted her face with a finger under her chin and, after saying something, he leaned in and planted a soft kiss on her lips before wrapping his arms around her shaking body once again.

"What the fuck?" Josh shouted to the empty air around him.

Wiping her hands with a dish towel, Karen leaned against the counter and looked at her son as he ate his breakfast. He looked so down-hearted, so broken and fragile. What exactly had he done last night? Karen didn't doubt that it had something to do with the ex. "So, I was in town this morning. I heard Raleigh put on quite a show last night at the Landing."

"Yeah, she did." Josh said absent mindedly. His thoughts were on Raleigh, but not the show.

"So, what happened?" Karen poked for information. Obviously he had spoken to her, but what had actually gone down between the once lovers was a mystery to her.

"She's so different now, Mom. Her looks, it's like that's all that matters to her anymore. She's lost weight, cut her hair, wearing a lot of make-up, smoking now too. She even has a tattoo and a navel piercing." He looked up in distain.

"She has two tattoos and a tongue ring too, Josh." Karen said matter-of-factly.

With that knowledge, Josh's head shot up in disbelief. "What happened to Ray, Mom? She's not who I use to know."

"No, she's not. I agree. But how would be if the love of your life, the person you thought you were going to be spending the rest of your life with just sent you a letter telling you your twelve year relationship was over? I can't say I blame her for changing the way she did. Although I am glad she hasn't gone to completely rebelling. After she read the letter, she completely changed everything. Raleigh felt as though she wasn't good enough, that's why you had done what you did. She had stopped playing at the cafe for a long time. She got the piercings and tattoos. Started smoking, which everyone disapproves of, but hey, they're her lungs." The woman reasoned. "But the one thing I don't think she went so low as to do, was sleep around. Lord knows there have been many offers for the girl, but I'm so glad she didn't respond to them."

"How could I have been so selfish as to basically end her life? Squash her hopes and dreams the way I had?"

"If you were unhappy, there was no use in dragging out the relationship, honey."

"But that's just it, Mom. The reason I was unhappy was because we were so far apart. I couldn't handle it. So I took the cowardly way out."

Sitting down at the table across from her oldest son, Karen took his hands in hers and looked deeply in to his eyes. "Josh, think of everything you and Raleigh have been through, all of your feelings for her." She could tell he was doing as the asked. His face was all scrunched and it was as though he was in his own little world. "Now, tell me, what exactly is it that you want more than anything?"

After a moment or two, Josh looked up at his mother and whispered, "Raleigh."

~*~

Walking down the street with Justin, he and Josh talked about everything and anything that came to mind. They were planning on going to their old hang out while growing up, when Josh turned his head and saw something that nearly made his heart stop. Raleigh, dressed in a black spaghetti-string tank top and low rise blue jeans, was on the table in front of a couch inside The Landing dancing for James. Then she doubled over in laughter and cuddled with the guy. He so badly wanted to look away, but couldn't bring himself to tear his eyes away from the seemingly couple interlocking their fingers and looking at one another with the love and adoration Josh and Raleigh use to have for each other.

Feeling as though he was about to be sick, Josh looked away from the sight and passed Justin, who was giving him a worried, and pitiful look.

"Josh," Justin called after him, trying to catch up with the obviously disturbed man. "Josh! Will you stop?"

"Why?" His voice was void of all emotion, and yet some how, full of so much.

"Dammit, Josh. What's with you?"

Stopping dead in his tracks and whipping around to face Justin. "What the hell do you mean what's with me? I'm fine."

"Oh, you're fine huh? Then why the hell are you reacting so badly to seeing James and Raleigh together?"

"I just can't believe she'd be so quick to date again. And James of all people!"

"Well what did you expect her to do? Wait around for you to come to your senses and realize you made the biggest freaking mistake of your life?"

"Who's side are you on?" Josh asked defensively. Wasn't this guy suppose to be his friend?

"I'm on nobody's side. Ya'll are my friends and I don't want to get in the middle of anyone's shit, but Raleigh is an amazing girl, and James realized that a long time ago. When she got that letter, he was there for her. They got closer, if that was even possible. And eventually their friendship evolved into more. She realized waiting wasn't worth it. She released all ties she had with you. She gave up a lot of things to tried and forget you." The way he had just said that made Josh's mind run wild. Shrugging the feeling off, he let Justin continue with his ranting. "She moved on. It's time you do the same."

"I have moved on. If I wasn't over her, why would I have broken up with her?"

"If you were so over her, seeing them together wouldn't faze you in the least." Justin practically yelled at him, pointing back to the coffee shop. Then his voice took on a softer tone. "Face it Josh, she was your once in a lifetime. And you blew it. Now she's with James, and she's happy. You'll never make it through the summer if you don't accept that." Happy? Just last night Raleigh had said she hadn't been happy in a long time, and that was his fault. But as many reasons as Josh had running through his mind at the moment that Justin was wrong, deep down, he knew Justin was right. They had their chance at love, and he ruined it. Now it was time to accept the fact that James and Raleigh were the meant to be ones now. Or were they?

Nodding his head, Josh turned and kept walking in the direction of his and Justin's destination before getting sidetracked, Justin close behind.

~*~

Walking down the familiar trail of dirt in the large forest, Josh's mind was clouded with thoughts. Thoughts he couldn't seem to shake since day one of being back home. Thoughts of Raleigh, and her new found love.

He had been so caught up in thinking, Josh hadn't even realized there was soft music coming from just around the bend of the trail, from the swimming hole, his destination. Walking slowly towards the music so he wouldn't make any noise, Josh smiled once he saw who it was. Raleigh was laying on her side on a large blanket with a small radio next to her, singing along with the song. She and Josh use to sneak away in the middle of the night and come here. During the day it was open to everyone who wanted to swim, but at night, all the kids of Shelby knew it was their spot.

Now this was the Ray he knew. Just laying back on a blanket, softly singing along to the radio reading a book with a flashlight.

"Anything interesting?" Josh couldn't help but laugh a little when he saw Raleigh jump and turn her body the way she had.

"Way to scare the crap out of me, Josh." She said, sitting up and shutting her book. "And yes, it was getting quite interesting for you information."

"Well I'm so sorry to have disturbed you. I was just going for a walk."

"I did too."

"And you ended up here?"

Not looking at Josh, Raleigh replied. "My walks at night these past two weeks have taken me here. No doubt it has something to do with you."

"I thought you didn't believe in signs?" Josh said, walking closer to her.

Staring impenetrably into his eyes, she said, "I don't. Nor coincidence."

Watching her stand up and begin to pick up her things, Josh was quick to stop her. "You leaving?"

"I've been here long enough. Besides, I have to be back in an hour and it will take me at least half of that time to get home."

"Will you wait and not be so quick to leave just because I'm here?"

"Why should I stay?"

Walking right up to her, Josh looked into her eyes softly. "I've been home for two weeks now, and the only time I've gotten to talk to you was that night at your show."

"I think everything that had to be said was said there."

"No. Everything that had to be explained was said then."

"What's the difference?" She gave a little laugh, one that drove Josh completely insane.

"The difference is I want to talk to you. I want to get to know you again."

"Josh..."

"I just want to be your friend again, Ray. Is that too much to ask for?" Watching her look away, undoubtedly thinking that it was, he added, "I mean, after all, you do have James."

That got her attention. Her head whipped up and looked at Josh. "How do you know about that?"

"Oh come on, it's not like you two are so discrete or anything. You cry on his shoulder, kiss him, dance for him on table tops. It's obvious your guys' relationship is past friendship. Way past." Raleigh just nodded her head. "Are you happy with him? I mean, the only reason I ask is because you seem like it when with him. But alone, you don't."

"I told you that night, Josh. I haven't been happy in a long time." Her gaze was so strong and powerful and yet so soft and sad at the same time. Josh found himself melting into the lilac orbs once again. They had some sort of spell over him. One that he could never break free from, nor did he want to. "I mean, I'm not gonna lie. James is a great guy. And for the most part, he treats me really well. But when it comes down to it, he's no you." There was never a harder thing to get over than losing your first love.

"I am sorry for what I did. Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do. But I was such a coward."

"I know, Josh. But I can't forgive you for that. At least not yet anyway."

"I know, Ray. But just tell me we can be friends, at least."

Giving him a small smile, Raleigh said, "I can try."

"Thank you." And that was all he asked of her. They sat on the blanket listening to the radio for at least an hour and a half just catching up and even joking around when Raleigh challenged Josh.

"You wouldn't dare!" Her eyes were wide as she watched him stand up and lean over to look at her face.

"You should know better by now. Don't you remember the night of Chris' party?"

And with that, Josh picked up a screaming Raleigh and went over to the swimming hole. "You put me down right now, Joshua, or I swear to God I will tell your mother! And you know she doesn't like you throwing girls into water! Especially at night! And she doesn't even like you out at night, even when a college man." Raleigh tried threatening him, but it didn't work.

"She'll get over it." Was the last thing he said before dropping Raleigh into the cold water.

Coming to the surface, Raleigh swam to the side to climb out. "I cannot believe you just did that!"

"Well believe it." Josh said while stripping off his shirt, shoes, socks and pants.

"What are you doing?"

"It's too hot out here. I'm ready for a swim myself. And the next thing Raleigh knew, there was a big splash and Josh was under the water, somewhere.

"Josh?" Raleigh called out to the darkness. There was no answer, and the only movement she saw was the calming of the water. "Josh, this isn't funny." She said again, getting scared. Where was he? Was this just another sick joke of his? Becoming frantic, Raleigh went under water and swam around trying to find him. How could someone just vanish like that? Coming up to the surface again, Raleigh treaded water, turning in circles to see if she could see anything, anything at all that might tell her where Josh had gone. Then suddenly she felt something wrap around her ankle and pull her under the water so fast she didn't have time to think. She thrashed around under the water, trying to break free. She felt her free foot kick something and then she was released. Swimming to the surface and trying to get out as fast as possible, she saw something rise out of the water a few feet away from her.

"God dammit, Ray, you got a hard kick. Even under the water." Josh complained, holding his jaw.

"Ugh, you asshole! I cannot believe you did that to me!" She screamed, swimming over to him and dunking him under the water. "You had me so scared. God I hate you."

"Oh you do not. It's nice to know you worry though."

"Well I can't help it. I spent most of my life worrying about you. And you can bet your ass I'm gonna get you back. It may not be tomorrow, it may not be the next day, but when you least expect it, the biggest, meanest joke will be played on you and you won't know what hit you!"

"There ain't no doubt in my mind that'll happen."

Splashing Josh in the face, Raleigh laughed a little. "I still can't believe you did that to me."

"I can't believe you fell for it. I did it to you eight years ago too."

"Oh like I'd remember eight years ago!" Raleigh and Josh got into a heated discussion on past pranks to each other, neither had barely stopped to realize what was going on. Before they knew it, Raleigh somehow had ended up so close to Josh she could feel his hot breath on her face.

Neither knew what to do or say at that moment. It was just like when they had realized they had first fallen for each other. Both uncomfortable, both silent, both motionless.

Josh's hands somehow found hers under the dark water and held them to his chest, pulling her closer. "You're trembling."

"Well, it's cold in here."

"Maybe we should get out then."

"Maybe we should." Raleigh agreed, but neither made any efforts to get out of the icy water, or to even break eye contact. At one point, Raleigh even found herself wishing Josh would close the tiny gap between their mouths and kiss her senseless. It had been far too long since she had felt them upon her own. Were they still as soft as they had always been? She wondered. Would he still make that low growl noise if she lightly bit that spot on his neck? Could she still drive him insane with the slightest touch to the curly mass of hair on his head? All these questions ran through her head at a million miles per second, and she ached to know the answer to them, but she couldn't. He had broken up with her and torn her to pieces. She couldn't give in to him because the softness of his voice and his eyes were enough to make her lose all her morals and go completely insane over him. She had to have some will power. Or else he could break her heart all over again, and she wasn't so sure she was strong enough to get past that a second time. She was still fighting to get over the first.

Becoming very aware of the hour, Raleigh began to freak out. "Oh my god, what time is it?" She quickly swam away from Josh and out of the hole. Running to the blanket, she looked down at her cell phone to see that it was one-seventeen AM. "Shit!"

"What? What's wrong?" Josh asked, coming up behind her.

"It's after one. Mom and Dad wanted me home by eleven-thirty. No later."

"Just tell them you were out with me, it'll be ok." Josh laughed as Raleigh scrambled to get all her things together.

"Ha! Right, that'll go over really well with the parentals. They strongly dislike you right now. Your name will not be mentioned at all in my explanation of where I've been all night."

"Yeah, definitely better this way."

"Yeah." She finally stopped rushing around and turned to Josh. "I had a great time tonight. This was just what I needed. And I'm glad you're home."

"Me too." Josh smiled warmly at her. "To all of the above."

"I'll see you around."

"Yeah. Bye, Ray."

"Bye Josh." And with that, she was gone, running through the forest to get home to where Mr. and Mrs. Coons where more than likely pacing the living room floor, waiting up for Raleigh's return. They were so overprotective of her it was sick. Yes, as parents they had a responsibility to their kids. But this was just ridiculous.

Fifteen minutes later, Raleigh walked into her dark house, panting and tired. Out walked her mother and father from the living room, both had a stern look planted on their faces. Debbie looked her daughter up and down and shook her head. "Do I even want to know?"

"I don't think so." Raleigh whispered, afraid to speak any louder.

Nodding, Debbie said, "Take a shower and go to bed. We'll discuss this in the morning when we're not all tired and irritable."

Knowing better than to say anything after the final words had been spoken, Raleigh went straight upstairs and took a hot shower. After getting dressed into her pajamas, she climbed into bed, completely unable to fall asleep. Josh and the events of tonight ran through her mind repeatedly, and she couldn't help but to smile.
1

Despite the fact that her parents completely laid into her when she had woken up, Raleigh was in a great mood. The best mood she's been in since Christmas. Everyone knew it had to have something to do with the late night rendezvous she had with Josh the night before. She was stuck doing extra work around the Cafe and wasn't allowed to go out late at night for the next three weeks. Which she found completely unfair since she hadn't even expected Josh to show up, but she was pretty sure she'd probably end up sneaking out anyway, especially if it meant she could see him again.

What was wrong with her? Hadn't her heart been through enough with him? She thought she had learned her lesson. Apparently she hadn't if the first time she's alone with Josh at the swimming hole she completely goes buck wild. Now she was in her own little world wondering when she'd get to see him again. Her thoughts were running through her mind at a million times per second, she hadn't even realized her friend, Carly, was right next to her, saying her name and patting her on her shoulder.

"Hello? Earth to Raleigh, the girl in LaLa land."

"Huh? Oh, Carly. When did you get here?"

"About ten minutes ago. You would have known if you weren't trapped in your mind as deep as you were."

"Sorry, Carly. I just have a lot on my mind."

"No doubt it has something to do with the boy wonder. I heard you and Josh were out all night together." Carly bumped her with her shoulder, raising her eyebrows. She obviously wanted to know every little detail that had happened. "So, what happened?"

"Ok, first off, nothing happened. And second, I wasn't out all night with him. Just until about one."

"Which is an hour and a half after your curfew. You must have been having a pretty good time to disobey Mommy and Daddy's orders like that." She clearly wasn't going to stop until she knew every little detail, right down the type of hair product he had used that night.

Sighing, Raleigh put down her rag and cleaning spray and look at Carly with her hand on her hip. Leaning against the table with her other hand, she gave in. "Alright, fine. I'll tell you. But it's really not that big of a deal."

"You met up with your boyfriend of twelve years, whom you haven't been with in six months. It is a big deal."

Sitting down at the table she had been cleaning before Carly came in, Raleigh started from the beginning. "Ok, I was in my usual spot at the hole reading my book. It was about ten-thirty I think. Then I heard Josh's voice say ‘nice to know some things never change.' I didn't really want to be around him so I started packing up my stuff and was about to leave when he told me not to go just because he was there. He said he wanted to talk to me since the last time he was able to was two weeks ago after the show. We cleared up a lot of the tension that was so obviously between us. And we're trying to be friends again. It's nice."

"But?" Carly could tell so easily that there was more to this than what Raleigh was saying.

"But it's going to be harder than I ever imagined. We were joking around like nothing had ever changed between us. Like he had never left for New York. Like he never wrote that letter. And then we were swimming and, I got so close to him I could feel the heat radiating off his body and hitting mine. He reached out and ran his hands down my arms and the tingling sensation I always got from his touch was there, but ten times stronger than ever before. His eyes were boring into mine, and I felt like I was on fire. And for a second, I almost wanted to take him and ravish him right then and there. But then I actually came to my senses and realized what time it was and ran home as fast as I could, thinking about what could have happened had I not fled. And that scares the hell out of me."

"Why does it scare you?" Carly asked in a whisper. The whole story amazed her. It was so obvious Raleigh was still in love with him. And this was great love, the kind no woman could ever get over, no matter how much time passed.

Looking up and meeting Carly's eyes, Raleigh said, "Because I'm still in love with him and that means he can hurt me again." Shaking her head, Raleigh sighed. "He has this power over me. One that I can't explain. Never could, never will. And man does that ever scare the hell out of me."

Reaching out and taking a hold of her best friend's hand, Carly gave it a squeeze. "I can't tell you what to do, Ray. But I can tell you what everyone in this town sees and knows. You and Josh, you're Ross and Rachel. No one gets it, but you just fit. There is not one doubt in any of our minds that you two were made for each other. Even if it doesn't end well, I would be happy just to know that I had a guy who had cared about me as much as Josh so clearly cares about you. You should never cry because it's over, but smile because it happened. Life is too short to not go after what you want."

Smiling, Raleigh knew she was right, and was speaking from experience. Carly had been with this guy, Barry, for three years. Then they had broken up, both obviously still wanted to be together, but their families were in a never ending feud. They were basically like Romeo and Juliet. It was a forbidden love. The day Carly had decided she couldn't live without Barry and wanted to tell him she wouldn't live without him, he had gotten into an accident. He was driving with his mother and this guy had run a red light at the bridge and crashed right into the passenger side of the car, Barry's side. He fought for three hours, and then flat lined. Carly was so heartbroken, and needless to say, their families no longer fight. They realized the same thing, life was too short to have enemies.

Giving Carly a hug, Raleigh let the tears fall, as did Carly. "James isn't the one for you and you know that."

"I know, Car. I know."

~*~

Sitting in her bedroom writing some ideas for a new song in her journal, Raleigh heard something on her window. Ignoring it, she kept humming and writing. She couldn't get this melody out of her head all day. This was the first chance she had to get it down on paper so she wouldn't lose it. Then there was that damn noise again. What the hell was that? Setting her journal down, Raleigh went over to the window and looked down. And sure enough, there was Josh, throwing pebbles at her window. Opening her window, Raleigh called down to him. "What are you doing here?"

Clearing his throat, Josh called up to her. "Rapunsel, Rapunsel, with hair so fine, won't you please climb down the vine?"

"The fate you ask, dear sir, isn't easy. And I won't respond to that line, it's far too cheesy." Raleigh smiled brilliantly at Josh before turning around in her room.

Rushing around her room, Raleigh put on a sweater and climbed down the actual vine. She had clearly done this before, no doubt to run away with Josh to their spot. It made her feel like a princess. But this time, her pant leg had caught on the damn vine and she fell right on top of Josh.

"Oh, are you ok?"

Laughing, Josh said, "I'm fine. Don't worry."

"Good." Standing up, she held out her hand to help him up.

"Alright, close your eyes." She gave him a repulsed look as to say ‘I'm not falling for that again.' and he caught on. "Don't worry, it's a surprise. I'm not going to lead you a hole in the ground so I can break that ankle of yours, again."

"If you do, I'm going to have to hurt you."

"Don't worry, I won't. Now close them." Closing her eyes, she put her well being in the hands of Josh, which was probably not the best idea in the world, but for some strange reason, she trusted him now more than ever.

"Alright, open them." Opening her eyes, Raleigh's gaze landed on a large white Stallion standing near the white fence.

"Josh, you stole him from Mr. Anderson's farm again, didn't you?" She pointed a finger and the guilty thief.

"Hey, I did not steal him. I merely borrowed him."

"Mmhmm." Going over to the large animal, Raleigh pet his head. "Hey boy. It's been a while, huh?" The horse whinnied in remembrance of their midnight rides that the three had use to go on all the time. They loved to feel free, riding through the valleys on horseback, and he use to love getting off that farm, something that hadn't changed.
1

Dismounting from the horse, Raleigh looked around the spot she hadn't been to in what seemed like years, when in actuality it was only months. Hugging her arms to herself, Raleigh breathed in the fresh air of the clear night. Looking up to the stars above, Raleigh smiled to herself. "I haven't been here in so long."

"I know, me neither."

"Just as long as me."

Looking into Raleigh's beautiful eyes, Josh found himself falling further than he ever thought possible. "You haven't been here lately?"

"No, not since you left over Christmas."

"Oh." Was all Josh could say.

Looking away from Josh's piercing eyes, she then added, "You're the only person I could ever come here with, Josh."

Looking at Raleigh, Josh really didn't know what to say. Was she telling him she still loved him as he did her? Or just simply that this was their spot?

Looking back at the glistening water in front of them, Josh decided he had to tell her what had been on his mind since that night at the swimming hole. "I don't even remember why I broke up with you. I feel like I made the biggest mistake of my life."

Raleigh let out a small chuckle. "I bet you'll remember all those reasons when you return to school in September, huh?"

"I highly doubt that, Ray."

"I don't. You did it once Josh, how would I know you wouldn't do it again?" Sure Raleigh was still in love with him, it didn't take a rocket scientist to see that. But how could she ever believe him? "Look, can we just talk about something else please?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry that I keep bringing it up."

"It's alright." She smiled warmly at him. Josh couldn't help but to smile himself. He loved being around this woman, he now began to understand the whole ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder' statement.

~*~

"Bobbie, Janie, where is your sister?" Deb, Raleigh's mother, went into the kitchen where two of her five children where sitting.

"Hell if I know. She's not in her room."

"I don't think she's been here all night, Mom." Bobbie told them. Ok, so he didn't think, he knew.

"So then where has she been all night, Bobbie?"

"You know just as well as we do that Ray has a tendency to sneak out at night." Bobbie answered her absent-mindedly. Truth is, he was still up when she had snuck out her window with Josh. But he couldn't tell his mother and sister that. The entire family hated Josh for what he had done to Raleigh. Sure, he was good and pissed, but he also knew Josh was a great guy and would come to his senses, something that seemed to be happening sooner than Bobbie had thought. But if Josh breaks her heart again, he will be there with his other two brothers to beat the hell out of him.

"I swear if she's with him there's going to be hell to pay." Janie and Bobbie just looked at each other while their mother was grumbling all the way down the hall to where the telephone sat.

"Who you think she's calling?"

"Probably Karen." Bobbie's suspicions where confirmed when they heard their mother say the aforementioned name.

"Hey, Karen. It's Deb...I'm alright, how about yourself?...That's good, listen, the reason I'm calling is to know if Josh is there...Are you sure he's in his bedroom?...Ok.....That's what I thought...I have a reason to believe Raleigh snuck out with him last night. She's not here either and Bobbie said she hasn't been here all night...Oh Raleigh too, believe me. Well I'm gonna go. We'll see you later...Buh-bye." Hanging up with Karen, Deb made her way back to the kitchen only to find Janie and Bobbie where gone. No doubt to find their baby sister.

~*~

Stirring in her peaceful sleep, Raleigh began to wake up. Opening her eyes, she found herself in Josh's arms and couldn't help but to feel safe. She felt like this was how it was suppose to be with them, now and always. They just fit.

Suddenly realizing she had stayed out all night with him, Raleigh quickly sat up. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she stood up and walked over to the bank of the lake. Looking out to the horizon where the sun was still rising, she heard Josh begin to wake up. He made this noise that was a cross between a growl and a moan. Raleigh wasn't exactly sure what it was, but it was sexy and did things to her she could never explain.

Josh stood up and made his way over to where Raleigh was. "Good morning."

"Good morning, Josh." She smiled at him. If it was at all possible, he looked even more sexy when he was half asleep. The innocence of a little boy still in his features.

"Now this is the life. Waking up to this beautiful sight." Josh said, wrapping his arms around Raleigh. He was expecting her to pull away from him and maybe even a smack, but she didn't. She fell into his arms, melting at his every touch.

"Stop it." she said, turning a serious shade of crimson. Hearting the whinny of the horse by the tree they had fallen asleep under brought them back down to earth.

"Did we stay out all night?"

"Yeah. My family is going to kill me. I'm already grounded for staying out late with you the other night."

"Oh no." Josh laughed, resting his chin on her shoulder. "I bet mommy dearest was happy when I was gone."

"You have no idea." Raleigh smiled, relaxing even more into his embrace, his smell still filling her nose with that heavenly scent. "We should probably get going."

"Yeah. My mom's going to kill me."

"Why? You're nineteen."

"Yeah, but I am staying back under her roof for the summer so I have to obey her rules. Plus too she told me to stay away from you."

Raleigh laughed at that. "We all knew that wasn't going to happen."

"I know."

They stood there like that for a few more minutes, just taking in the scenery until they were interrupted.

"Raleigh Beth, get over here right now!"

Looking over to where the voice came from, Raleigh groaned and rolled her eyes at seeing her sister and brother coming towards she and Josh. "What are you guys doing here?" She asked, stepping away from Josh's embrace.

"Looking for you. Now what is it that you think you're doing here?" Janie asked Raleigh with attitude evident in her voice. Going over to her little sister, Janie grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the car. "What, has the past six months taught you nothing? Do you want to find yourself back in the doctor's office?"

Pulling her arm away from Janie, Raleigh looked at her with pure fire burning in her eyes. "Ok, first of all, if I remember correctly you found yourself in that same damn situation because of your Memphis asshole, Jake. And second, what I do and have done in the past and with who is none of your damn business. It's neither of yours!" Josh could not remember a time when Raleigh had been so upset she spoke back to somebody this way. Was this his doing as well?

"Ray," Bobbie had started but she cut him off.

"Don't Bobbie. I have a feeling I know what you're going to say anyway. So just save your breath." Looking at Josh, Raleigh mouthed "I'm sorry" to him and waved goodbye before climbing in the back of her sister's car.

Storming into the house, Raleigh was stopped by her mother before she could run up to her bedroom. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Well, I think I'm trying to go up to my bedroom."

"Don't smart off to me young lady. I'm not in the mood."

"And I'm not in the mood for this, so if you'll excuse me." Raleigh walked past her mother and climbed the first two steps.

"Don't turn your back on me, Raleigh."

"Oh no, Mother. Perhaps you shouldn't turn your back on me."

"Are you threatening me?"

"Of course not. I just didn't think that at seventeen, I, your youngest child may I add, would be your enemy."

"You're not my enemy. That boy is."

"No, Mom. You're both of ours." And with that, Raleigh ran up the remaining stairs and slammed her bedroom door shut.
1

Staring out the window in her bedroom, Raleigh was lost in her thoughts. Nothing of what was happening outside her window was sinking in, none of it mattered. What really mattered in her life anymore she had no idea, but she had a feeling it was something to do with Josh. In the last three days she found herself falling harder and harder for the boy that always was. But could she trust her heart again? It had led her to heartbreak the last time. But that wasn't really it's fault, was it? She had trusted Josh even more. He was the only love she had ever known, and now he was saying he regretted everything he had written in that letter. How could she ever believe him?

A knock on the door brought Raleigh form her thoughts. "Go away." She called behind her. She did not want to speak to anyone at the moment. Everyone seemed to hate she and Josh's friendship.

Hearing the door open, Raleigh became extremely annoyed. "What, do you not understand the concept of go away?" She said, turning around to see Bobbie standing there.

"Not when it comes to my baby sister."

"By six minutes." She said, crossing her arms, pouting. He always rubbed it in her face that he was the oldest of the two. It was only by a few minutes, but that didn't matter to him. He was the older twin.

Bobbie's grin faded as he got a look a Raleigh's saddened face. "Look, Ray. I know you think I'm with Mom and Dad and Janie, Nick, and Al. But I'm not. I know Josh is a good guy and I know he feels about you just as much as you do him. Nothing can ever change that. I mean, yeah, if he breaks your heart again I'll break his face, but he realized his mistake. I can see it every time he looks at you." Raleigh raised a questioning look at her brother and laughed. "I've seen you two together a lot more than you think these past few weeks. The sadness is there along with tons of regret, and most of all, love. I think the main reason he wrote that letter was because he was scared."

"Scared of what?"

"You and he have been together since you were kids. Neither of you knew what it was like to date other people. He probably wanted to find out if you were the best thing that could have happened to him. Which he think he realized. Plus too he was afraid you'd grow even further apart when you go to California at the end of the summer."

"So, you don't think I should just tell him to fuck off like everyone else?"

Laughing, Bobbie shook his head. He always found it funny when Raleigh swore, it was so rare to hear. "No. I think you two are best for each other. Together you're unstoppable."

Smiling, Raleigh wrapped her arms around her brother. "Thank you, Bobbie."

"Hey, what are big brothers for?" He said, letting go of her and giving her a little nudge.

"Ugh! Six minutes! You're my big brother by six friggin' minutes!" She said, chasing him down the hallway.

~*~

Walking down the road, Josh was in his own little world talking to Justin on his cell phone. "She's a friggin' beast, dude...No she just came up out of nowhere spoiling the moment Ray and I had going on and just grabbed her arm and pulled her way. She even compared me to her Memphis guy. I don't even remember the fucker's name. But can you believe that? If Ray ever got pregnant I would have never left her. I'd be there forever. Not like that prick who fled the fuckin' state claiming Janie cheated on him." The line was silent for a second and Josh though Justin had hung up. "You there, Justin?...Oh you were really quiet....Oh, dude, can I call you back? Yeah I just see someone I wanna talk to...Alright, talk to you later man. Bye."

Hanging up his phone, Josh put it back in his pocket and crossed the dead street. Quietly going behind the woman, Josh quickly and lightly poked her sides. She jumped and screamed and turned around really fast.

Josh had a huge grin on his face as he saw her. "Hey, Mandy."

"Josh! Dammit, you know better than to do that to me!" She said, clutching at her chest. "You scared the hell out of me."

"I'm sorry, but I saw you over here and I had to do it."

"Jerk." She smiled at him. "Chris told me you were back in town. Were you ever planning on coming to see me?"

"Of course I was. You know I couldn't come back home and not get some of your home cooking."

"Oh is that all I'm good for?"

"No, you're good for a lot. But your cooking is definitely one of them."

"So how've you been, Josh? You been happy?"

"I'm getting there."

"Yeah?" Mandy got a shit eating grin on her face and Josh knew she'd heard something. "I heard you and our young Raleigh had a midnight rendezvous the other night."

Laughing a little bit. "Yeah, I guess you could say that. We're trying to be friends again."

"I think we all know how that'll turn out." She said seriously and Josh wondered what she meant by that. Shrugging it off, Josh looked back at her.

"So, how have you been, mommy-to-be?"

"Oh man, I love hearing that." Mandy laughed whole-heartedly. "I'm doing really great. Poor Chris has to put with my mood changes, but he loves me so it's worth it."

"I bet. Well, I should get going. It was great seeing you. and congratulations."

"Thanks Josh. And make sure you come over for dinner before you leave to go back to school."

"I will, don't worry."

"Good." He started walking away and Mandy called after him. "Oh, Josh? If you're looking for Raleigh, she's visiting Carly at the music shop."

"Alright, thanks. I'll see you later, Mandy."

"Bye, Josh."

~*~

"All the times you've been with Josh since he's been home, have you told him?"

Looking up at Carly from her large order of French fries smothered in ketchup, Raleigh looked confused. "Told him what?"

"You know. What happened after he left."

"Oh. No. I don't think I'm going to either."

"Ray,"

"Carly." She said, sitting up fully. She was beginning to get annoyed. "It was my decision. Besides, if he found out now it'd kill him. I can't do that to him."

"The whole town knows, Ray. He's gonna find out eventually. I just think it's better coming from you."

"I know. I just can't hurt him like that, no matter how badly he hurt me. Nobody deserves that."

"And you did?" Raleigh was at a loss for words at that. Sure what she had done was extremely hard on her, but Josh would just break down. It would kill him, and Raleigh could never bring herself to be the one to do that to him. He still meant way too much to her.

"Maybe I'll tell him someday, but not anytime soon." Just then, the two girls heard the door open and in walked the man of the summer.

"Speak of the devil." Carly smirked.

"Sh, not one word of this." Raleigh whispered to her as she stood up. "Hey Josh."

"Hey girlies, what's up?" Josh said, slinging his arm around Raleigh's neck. It seemed so simple to do, something he did often. Even though he hadn't done it in six months.

Carly gave Raleigh a look before meeting Josh's gaze again. "Nuttin, just talking about some stuff. Although I'm not sure I have time to chit chat anymore, since you know, it's so busy in here."

"Well, you do have one customer." Josh pointed to the girl in the corner looking at some cd's.

"Yeah, that's Tully. She's been in here for the past twenty minutes."

"Dude, that's Tully? She got hot." Josh had to say.

"I gave her a make over." Raleigh said watching the shy girl. "She needed some confidence. She's a real pretty girl once she gets cleaned up."

"You did a good job, Ray."

"I know." She smiled triumphantly.

"So." Josh said, changing the subject. "What you girls got planned for the carnival in two weeks. Got dates?"

"James." Raleigh immediately said, holding up her hand.

"Well, I figured that. How about you, Car?" Josh did a pretty good job at hiding the fact that he was jealous as hell that she was going with James, but what could he do about it? Nothing that's what. After all, they were just friends, right? Carly saw right through his act.

"I'm going with someone."

"Oh, anyone we know?"

"Maybe." She said, busying herself with some return cd's.

"Come on, Car. You can't leave me hanging like that. Do you know who it is?" Josh said, looking down at Raleigh.

"I can't say." She said, smiling.

"Come on! Is it a new guy in your life? A boyfriend? Just a friend? What, you're killing me here."

"Well, it's nothing official yet, but we've been seeing each other casually for a little while now."

Staring down Carly's facial expressions and movements, something popped into his head. When he asked Justin that question, he did the exact same thing. Was it possible they had finally hooked up? Something they had all been waiting for to happen for God knows how long? "It's Justin."

With that, Carly's head shot up and looked at him. She had a look of shock written on her face. He was obviously on pin-point. "Why do you say that?"

"He's told me the same thing and you both had a the same reaction when asked about the carnival. It's not that hard to figure out."

"Don't tell anybody, Josh. Please." Carly pleaded with him. The last thing she needed was the entire nosey-ass town butting into her private life now. She wasn't what the town called ‘Justin's type.' She had short black hair that went down to the middle of her neck and had highlights. She wore far from girly clothes, unless they were skirts and shoes form Hot Topic at the mall about an hour away in Memphis. Although once in a while Raleigh would get her to wear a pretty dress or something when they went out to bars. Like today she had the ends of her hair curled outward and had on a pair of black pants with a green T-shirt that had the three monkeys on it. See no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil. It was one of her cuter days. She didn't have them very often.

"I won't, Don't worry."

"So, boy wonder, are we going stag to the carnival this year?" Carly asked, settling back into her chair behind the counter.

"Looks that way. I mean I didn't really plan on being home this year."

"What about Tully?" Raleigh suggested, looking at the poor girl.

"You think she'll even go?"

"Josh, she's had a crush on you for the longest time. And she's never even gone. Show her some things she's never seen before."

They could tell he was thinking about it. Should he or shouldn't he, that was the question. "Alright." Letting go of Raleigh, he walked over to where Tully was standing, seemingly finding the cd she had been looking for all this time. "Hey, Tully." Josh said, standing next to her."

Looking up to the tall man beside her, Tully was a little surprised to see him there. "Hey Josh. I heard you were back for the summer." She still had that cute little voice.

"Yeah. Just hanging out, catching up with old friends."

"Yeah." Still the same old shy Tully they all knew.

"Um, so, how've you been? You changed a little bit."

"Yeah, your girlfriend helped me out."

"Oh, she's not...we're not..."

"I know." She smiled at him and turned towards the front counter to check out.

"Uh, Tully, I was just wondering, you going to the carnival at all?"

"Nope. Never have, why should I go this year?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to go with me." That made her stop dead in her tacks. Turning on her heel, Josh could tell a million questions were running through her mind at the moment. Most of them probably along the lines of, ‘what the fuck are you on?'

"What?" Was the only comprehendible thing he could make out of the jumbled mess coming from her mouth.

"Well, I figure you've never gone because you never had a date. So, do you want to go with me?"

"You have got to be kidding me."

"Why? I think we'd honestly have a good time together."

Getting close to him, Tully crossed her arms and stared him in the eye, neither moving for at least forty-five seconds. "You serious? Or is this just some kind of sick joke? Something like as soon as we get there everyone throws eggs at me or something?"

"Have people actually done that to you?" Josh whispered to her. She just looked away from him and set down her cd, running out of the store. Josh of course had to run out after her. For some reason he wanted to get inside her head, find out everything she'd had to endure over the years. All the hell they put her through. "Tully, will you stop please?"

"Why? So you can be so mean to me like the rest of them?"

"No, so I can find out what's going on with you." Stopping short, Tully turned abruptly and looked him square in the eye.

"Why now? We've known each other for fifteen years. Why now all of a sudden do you want to talk to me? Why now would you even think about asking me to the carnival where you know everyone who hates me and I hate just as badly will be? Do you really want to add to my humiliation?"

"I'm sorry, Tully. I guess I never stopped to think about how everything affected you."

"Of course not. You were too busy playing suck face with Raleigh to notice people in this town actually have bad lives."

"I know that, and I'm sorry. I'm just trying to make it right." Tully just looked away and shook her head, a few tears escaping her chocolate eyes. "Tully, can't I have a second chance to be your friend?"

"I guess everybody deserves a second chance." Then looking back at Josh, she straightened. "But I swear to God that if this is some sick joke I will put you in the hospital."

"It's not, Tully. Promise." Josh smiled at her.

"Fine."

"Alright, pick you up at seven Wednesday night."

"Ok." Then she turned and walked away. As much as she hated to admit it, Tully had a feeling this was going to be the best summer ever for her. She actually had a date. Normally she skipped any social gathering, she hadn't even gone to their prom. Maybe things were finally looking up for her.

"So? How'd it go?" Raleigh asked as Josh came back into the shop.

"Well, for the first time in our history, Tully O'Brien will be making a public appearance."

"Its about time." Carly said, smiling with them all.

Over the next two weeks, the entire town was preparing for the carnival. It was the biggest event Shelby ever held so everyone was pretty excited. Usually they just have one of the local radio stations there to play music for everyone, but this year, rumors were going around that they were having a live band. Well, a couple actually. Plus a dance off, just to spice things up a bit.

While most of the girls in the town were excited about everything going on, Raleigh was stressing. Not over what she was going to wear, but over a feeling. She had the strangest gut feeling that something was going to happen a tthe carnvial that night, and she didn't know why. The only thing she could think of that would explain this was Josh was going to get drunk and say or do something to James. She tried over and over to shake the feeling, but it kept coming back, even more forceful.

She had just finished putting her shoes on when she heard the horn of a car, no doubt it was James. The guy couldn't even come up and knock on the door. Grabbing her purse, Raleigh ran down the stairs and out the front door, locking it behind her.

"Finally, I've been waiting here for like ten minutes."

"What are you talking about? You just honked the horn."

"Well I figured you'd be watching for me. Unless your head is off with the boy wonder yet again."

"Whatever you say, James."

"Whatever." James sighed, backing out of the driveway. "Let's just go." Everything had been great with Raleigh before Josh had come back. She was paying him all the attention and he was close to getting what he wanted. Then Josh Chasez the boy wonder had to come back and ruin everything. Now it seemed like everytime he turned his back, Raleigh was with Josh or talking to someone about Josh. Was something going on there behind his back?

Arriving at the carnival, Raleigh didn't even bother waiting for James to come around and open the door for her. He had stopped being a nice gentleman a long time ago. She didn't expect things from him anymore, unless it was to yell at her for no reason. She expected that all the time now. Wondering to herself, Raleigh was lost in thought. How had she come to this place? Had she really set her standards so low as to let herself be treated this way by a guy? She realized she had, because of Josh. She had put him on a pedestal since they were children and look where it got her? Alone, pregnant, and heartbroken. She needed someone, and James was there. Only then, he was nice, kind, caring. But as soon as Josh was back in the picture, he was a complete asshole. What in the world was she thinking? She knew what she had been thinking. She was too scared to be alone.

Hearing her name being called, Raleigh looked up to see Carly running towards her with Justin in towe.

"Hey! Wow, you look amazing, Carly! Never again will we see you like this, will we?"

"Probably not." Carly laughed as she hugged Raleigh hello. She was wearing a teal strapless top that went past her waist and had a silk peice of cloth under the breasts that was sequined and tied behind her back. She had a jean mini skirt on and her normally straight hair was down with curls throughout it.

"Hey, Ray. You look hot. Josh is going to be swooning all night over you." Raleigh was wearing a simple white mini pleaded skirt with a white and turqouise halter top that V'd low to show off her cleavage and she had on white strappy heel sandals to finish the look off. Her hair was half down, half up and it was for the most part straight but some curls coming down from where some of her hair was pinned up. And she had just the right amount of make-up on to bring out the lilac in her eyes.

"Two things Justin. I'm not wearing this get Josh to swoon over me, and two; he's here with Tully."

"You and I both know, as well as everyone else here, that the only reason he is here with Tully is because you are dating super dick over there."

"Yeah, and could you please tell me again why I am dating super dick?"

"Because Josh unfortunately dumped you and he was there for you to lean on. He was nice then." Carly offered as a simple form of comfort.

"Everyone seems to be nice until Josh comes back into the picture."

"Speaking of, why don't we go find him and Tully? I'm sure they're around here somewhere waiting for us to show up."

Smiling, Raleigh agreed gratefully for the change in topic. But it did seem that way. Everyone in the town was great to her and were careful to not mention Josh in her presence. Yes, it kind of bothered her...a lot, but she was used to it. Then he came home and James started to become this huge asshole who tried to control her every move. And it only got worse as she started hanging out with aforementioned ex-boyfriend more and more. Why was it so hard for him as well as her family to accept the fact that maybe they could get past the letter and everything that happened between them and be friends again? Maybe it was because her family didn't want to see her get her heart broken again when he went back to NYU and she went to LA at the end of the summer. But whatever the reason, it was really beginning to agitate the hell out of her.

Getting the asshole's attention, Raleigh and her friends plus one went through the game section of the carnival to the mouse game. It was always Josh's favorite game, guessing which hole the mouse was going to go in, so it was no surprise when they found him there with Tully, playing four different squares.

Not even thinking twice about it, Raleigh headed straight for her ex-boyfriend and his date for the night.

"Josh!" Raleigh called to him when she was within hearing distance. Looking up from the light conversation he and Tully were having, Josh looked to see who was calling his name. Immediately his face lit up and greeted Raleigh happily with a tight comforting hug.

"Hey, girly. Been wondering when you guys were gonna show up."

"Well, we've been here for like fifteen minutes looking for your ass."

"Sure sure, you should have known where to find me."

"Yeah, I figured it out, obviously."

"Yeah." He smiled at her and it did all sorts of things to her. Her mouth went dry, her blood began pumping, and her mind flooded over with thoughts of everything they had done over Christmas break. All the things she wanted to do to him again, all the things she should not be thinking about. Especially when he had broken things off with her, and her boyfriend of the present was hanging around, watching she and Josh like a hawk ready to swoop in at any given moment to peck the shit out of the ex. Something Raleigh would be furious over.

Clearing her throat and forcing her eyes away from his beautifully blue eyes, Raleigh looked at the squares he had his money on. Smiling with a hint of playfulness sparkling in her eyes, Raleigh crossed her arms over her chest. "Ten bucks its cotton candy."

"You seem so sure of yourself."

"I am." She challenged him. Her gaze never faltered, there was no movement in her sly grin, the flame in her lilac eyes never extinguished.

"Alright. I'll take that bet." Josh said, slapping his hand with hers in a hand shake.

Turning away from Josh, everyone looked at the wheel just as the carny lifted up the blue box. Everyone watched as the little mouse went around in circles for a few moments. Everyone watched as he ducked his head into daddy, then watermelon, and Josh was sure he was going to go fully into his apple pie, but then he quickly scurried two down and sure enough went into cotton candy.

Raleigh's face immediately broke out into a big smile and she tried so hard not to start laughing at the look on Josh's face. His mouth was dropped open and he looked like he couldn't believe what had just happened. "what the fuck was that? I swear you have senses like that fucking mouse, Ray."

"You know I am the best at this game. So, pay up big boy." Raleigh smiled even bigger as she held out her hand for the ten bucks she had just bet him. Shaking his head, Josh reached for his wallet in his back pocket and fished out a ten. Slapping it into her hand, he didn't let go before saying, "I will beat you one of these times."

"Oh yeah? You wanna go for round two?"

"Nah, I think I'd like save some of my dignity."

"Good choice." Raleigh finally allowed herself to giggle some at Josh's expense. Then her eyes cut to Tully coming out from behind Josh. Had she been there the entire time she had been flirting shamelessly with Josh? Who was NOT her boyfriend anymore, but Tully's date for the night? How could she have really been so rude?

"Hey, you're really good Raleigh."

"Thanks, Tully. I've had many years experience. Wow, you look great."

Tully blushed a little as she quietly said, "thanks." She had on a pair of jean capris that folded a little below her knees with a black top that would be considered a tube top if it weren't for the strings coming from between her breasts and tying around her neck. She had black strappy sandals on and her blonde hair was curly with her slanted bangs straight going off to the side. She really looked good everyone agreed.

"Alright, so the dance-off begins in eight minutes. I think we should make our way to the stage." Justin spoke up and everyone headed to where the band was playing and the dance-off was to be taking place.

Gathering around the stage, the group watched as Mayor Andrews got up on the stage. "Alright, alright! My goodness, the carnival hasn't been this crowded in years. It's nice to see everyone again this year, such a wonderful turn out for the dance-off. Speaking of which, as per to the people of Shelby's requests, we stopped being such cheap bastards and got a real live band to play!" The Mayor had to stop speaking because he couldn't be heard over the cheering of the crowd. For the past ten years, he had always gotten a Dj to play at the carnival all week or he'd just pay the local kiss radio station to play there. The town's people had been trying to get live bands back for this annual event for a long time. They were all happy they had finally agreed. "The rules go as follows, there are no rules!" More cheers from the crowd. "Just dance the way you dance and have fun with it! So without further adieu, I am proud to announce to you all, Seven Day Faith!"

Raleigh and Carly looked at one another with jaws dropped and eyes widened. Seven Day Faith was one of their favorite bands. They were only a local band, but one day, they all knew the band would be widely known and just as popular as the Backstreet Boys or Bon Jovi.

The girls screamed their heads off as they saw the guys take their positions on stage and the beginning chords of Can't Stand It bellowed throughout the park. Raleigh looked to her left and saw Josh watching her closely. She smiled at him and he smiled back knowingly. Seven Day Faith had been their first concert together, and they had had such a great time. Raleigh had such wonderful memories of that night. It was after all, the night she had given herself fully to him.

Looking back up to the stage, Raleigh caught Rob Bilson's eye as he went up and down the stage singing his heart out. It was what he lived for. She remembered the conversation she'd had with him one night two years ago. They spoke about her music and how he thought she had great potential to be something big in this world. But he would only like her music if she promised to try to make a change in the world. If she wouldn't become one of the many fake celebrities out there today. She of course promised. It made her wonder if he had come to see any of her shows, if he liked the way her music had changed. She had thought it had changed for the better, but what did he think? It was nice having someone so close who has been doing music only a year or two longer than you to talk to about it. No one else really got what it was all about, that's why she liked him so much.

The entire time the band was on stage, JC could only watch Raleigh. She was having the greatest time and he couldn't be happier for her. This was one of her favorite bands. And only a select few really knew why. And when Rob Bilson came on stage to announce the song they were about to sing and how it held a special place in his heart, JC was forced to be brought back down to earth and face the situation at hand.

Are you there?
Can you hear me?
Are you alone,
Or with him?
Do you feel that much better
With somebody new, touching you?

Well I've never felt this lonely baby
Losing you is wrong
I never meant to hurt you, baby
What did I do wrong?

And I don't want to lose you, baby
You don't want to miss me, baby
You've been here before
Saying ‘I don't want to love you anymore'

Listening to the lyrics of the song, JC really heard it for the first time. She he had heard it before, but that was before he had gone to New York and broke Raleigh's heart. This made him look over to Raleigh and James, and all he wanted to do was puke. How could she be with him? He was no good for her at all, and JC was almost positive the only reason James was with her was to get into her pants, and he didn't even want to think about whether or not he had succeeded yet. That thought just made the nauseousness ten times worse. Would Raleigh have really slept with him?

Does his touch
Feel like heaven
Like your body
Touching mine
Will I find
Someone better
Who will make me feel
Like you do?

JC thought of school and he remembered Erin. She had tried to get with him so many times, but every time he had even come close to being with her, images of himself with Raleigh flooded his mind and he couldn't go through with it. She just wasn't her, she couldn't make him feel as wonderful as his ex-love always had so many times before.

Well I've never felt this lonely baby
Losing you is wrong
I never meant to hurt you, baby
What did I do wrong?

And I don't want to lose you, baby
You don't want to miss me, baby
You've been here before
Saying ‘I don't want to love you anymore'

And I don't want to lose you, baby
You don't want to miss me, baby
You've been here before
Saying ‘I don't want to love you anymore'

And I don't want to lose you, baby
You don't want to miss me, baby
You've been here before
Saying ‘I don't want to love you anymore'

And I don't want to lose you, baby
You don't want to miss me, baby
You've been here before
Saying ‘I don't want to love you anymore'

And I don't want to lose you, baby
You don't want to miss me, baby
You've been here before
Saying ‘I don't want to love you anymore'

Going over to the beer tent, Carly walked over to Raleigh.

"Hey. Was that Bilson I just saw you talking to?"

"Yeah. We were just talking about music. He went to my concert at the Landing. He said it was amazing and so far I have been keeping my word, except for my drastic weight loss. But I explained that. Did you know Burgio's leaving the band?"

"Oh my God. Girl, ifI don't hear a just kidding in two seconds, I will be thoroughly infuriated."

"I'm serious. He's having issues with his wife, not to mention their money situation. He needs to focus on his personal life. The guys are all supportive though at least."

"Wow. I hope everything goes well for him. It sucks he's leaving now though."

"I know." Carly and Raleigh were both quiet for a minute or two, just soaking everything going on around them in. "so, the dance off. That was a disaster, huh?" Raleigh gave a little chuckle before taking a sip of her drink.

‘My god, what was wrong with James? He just stormed off right in the middle."

 

"James." Raleigh sighed. It was obvious she was becoming very fed up with her boyfriend. "James is being a jealous asshole again saying there's something going on with me and Josh still. He said my mind wasn't focused on the dancing, but Josh. So he got pissed and stormed off. Hence, I have no clue where he is now and I really couldn't care."

"Ray, can I ask you a question I've asked a few times already?"

"You want to know if there is something going on with Josh and I. But you know the answer to that, Carly."

"Yeah, but watching the way you two have been with one another all night, I just keep thinking of how great it would be if ya'll got back together. Everyone knows you're made for each other, you're just both so paranoid that he's going to hurt you again."

Raleigh went silent. Carly could easily see there was still something between them, but would she ever do anything about it? Would either of them do anything? "I'm not going to lie to you, you're my best friend and you'll know the truth either way. I still love Josh, more than anything. But you're right, I am paranoid he's going to go back to school at the end of the summer and do the same thing he did at Christmas. I don't think I could survive that again, Carly."

"Which brings me to my second thought. You have to tell him about..."

"Dammit Carly." Raleigh interrupted her, slamming down her cup in fury. "I told you I'll tell him when I'm good and ready to."

"All I'm saying is he deserves to know. He deserves to hear from you before somebody else in this damn nosey ass town, and you know that!"

"I can't do that to him! It'll tear him apart."

"He's gonna hear about the abortion eventually. It's just better if he hears it from your mouth and not somebody else's."

"You think I don't know that? God, I was pregnant with his fuckin' child for Christ's sake! Why the hell should I want to tell him I killed it? How would I even go about telling him something like that? It'll kill him."

"Don't worry about it. You just did."

Raleigh and Carly looked next to them and saw a ghostly white Josh standing there with tears in his eyes. Raleigh never felt worse about herself as she did at that one moment. Now she saw what it was like to put a knife to someone's back.

"Josh." She started but he began to back up and cut her off.

"Don't! Just...Don't." Of course James had to pick that exact moment to intervene.

"What's going on?" He asked, then he saw the tears in Josh's eyes and the frightened look on Raleigh's face. Turning to Carly, he asked, "What, did he just find out?"

"Shut up, James. You're not helping." Carly snapped at him.

"I'm not trying to. What? Josh can't accept the fact that his sweetheart is a little lying slut?"

"Don't you talk about her like that." Josh snapped at James. All of his anger was beginning to channel and if James didn't shut his mouth anytime soon, he'd be the one it would be taken out on.

"Or what? You'll beat me up? I'm so scared." His eyes got wide and he pretended to quiver with fear.

"James, shut the hell up!" Raleigh said, yelling at him. She saw out of the corner of her eye that Josh was getting closer so she stepped between them. "Don't touch him, Josh. It's not worth it."

"Raleigh, you know I'd never hit a girl, but I swear to God that if you don't get out of my way I will move you myself."

"Only because sorry sacks of shit feel the need to hurt women to get what they want." James egged him on, and that was all it took for Josh to make good on his promise and pick Raleigh up and move her to the side before charging forward and punching James square in the eye. James fell to the ground into the fetal position and Josh got in a couple good kicks before the guys were able to pull him back.

"You say one more thing to me like that and they won't be able to save you!" Josh said before shaking Joey and Justin off his back and walking away.

"How cliche." Carly said as she looked up to the sky. Literally, Josh had just stormed away with booming anger, and now thunder was booming overhead, a summer storm underway.

Going over to James, Raleigh looked down at him. "You ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." James said, clutching his side. Raleigh just felt the anger for what James had said earlier and kicked him in his hurt side once again.

"How about now?" She growled at him and took off through the woods where Josh had disappeared. "Josh?" She called through the thick brush of trees. Continuing to run, Raleigh kept calling after him. The rain began to pour down around her, making it more difficult for her to see through the woods. But somehow, she managed to see a walking figure to her right. As she got closer to the dark figure, she saw that it was the outline of Josh. "Josh! Will you wait?" She yelled at him as she got close enough for him to hear her.

"What for? So you can just rip my heart to pieces again?"

"We need to discuss this." She said, cutting him off from the path he had been following from memory. "Don't walk away from me."

Josh gave a little laugh and it made Raleigh quiver. He sounded so full of hurt, sadness, and full on anger, towards her. His beautiful blue eyes were covered with a darkness she didn't know if she could penetrate. "My how the tables have turned."

"Will you just talk to me, please?"

"About what?"

"Anything! Anything that you're thinking, yell at me, hit me, do what you want, just please say something!" She pleaded with him over the rather boisterous rainfall.

Looking away from Raleigh briefly, Josh tried to gain some composure. When he met Raleigh's gaze again, even through the wetness of the rain, she could see was crying. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't."

"Why not?"

"How could I? How do you go about telling someone you're pregnant with thier child and then say you're not going to keep it? I could never hurt you that way. Whether you believe it or not, I do still love you, with all my heart. I felt like I had to protect you from that."

"What, do I have a fucking sign on my back that says I need protecting? You know how this town is! If one person finds out the entire town will too. Did you want me to find out from someone else? Was that you're plan?"

"Of course not! I just thought it would be better if you didn't know. As bad as you broke my heart, I didn't think you deserved to know I wasn't going to keep my child, our child. It would have torn you to pieces. But what scared me most was that if you did find out, you'd want nothing to do with me."

"Well that plan went really well, don't you think, Raleigh?" Bitterness dripped off every word, and Raleigh knew she deserved it. This was exactly why she hadn't wanted to tell him what she had done in the first place. Shaking his head and closing his eyes, Josh said, "I have to go."

He walked past her and he could feel her turn to go after him. "Don't." Josh said, putting his hand up in Raleigh's direction. "I need to be alone. I need time to think." Then he was gone through the storm. Raleigh couldn't see him, and she couldn't see where she was. She was in the dark woods during a thunder storm- alone. Nothing was scarier.

"Josh, where have you been? Its pouring out, you're soaking wet." Karen asked her son as he stomped angrily into the house. It was obvious something was not right. And something inside of her told her it had to do with Raleigh.

"Did you know?"

"What?"

"Did you know." Josh said slowly with anger evident in his voice. Just by looking into her son's eyes, Karen didn't need to ask what he was talking about, she already knew.

"Raleigh." Karen sighed.

"So you did know. And you didn't tell me. My own mother knew and you didn't fucking tell me!" Josh screamed at her as tears streamed down his face. He didn't care that he was screaming, or even swearing at his own mother. What he cared about was the fact that everyone he cared about betrayed his trust and kept something that big away from him.

"How was I suppose to tell you? It was yours and Raleigh's business, not mine! I didn't want to interfere and I'd hoped Raleigh would have told you herself. I just didn't want to see you hurt."

"You were trying to protect me. Well I'm sick of everyone trying to protect me! And as far as I'm concerned, you and the rest of this god forsaken town can never speak to me again!" Josh ran upstairs and Karen heard his bedroom door slam. There would be no talking to him until tomorrow, when hopefully he had calmed down some.

~*~

Hearing the front door close, Janie went to see who it was. "Ray, where have you been? It's pouring out, do you want to get pneumonia?"

"You know what, Janie? I just ruined any chance what-so-ever I had of getting back with Josh and completely killed his self-esteem. I realize this may be hard for you, but could you try not lecturing me for once?" With that, Raleigh left a very shocked Janie at the bottom of the stairs as she ran upstairs. Slamming her bedroom door closed, she went into the bathroom and leaned against the sink. She slowly allowed her head to come up and she looked at her reflection. She watched as a tear escaped her eye and rolled silently down her flushed cheek. Shaking her head, she softly asked the reflection, "Who are you? This girl isn't me."

Turning around she collapsed against the wall. Bringing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them, Raleigh sobbed into her arms. How do things change so fast?

There was soft knock on the door and Raleigh didn't even bother to say anything or look up to see who had entered her bathroom. She already knew. "I brought you some dry clothes."

Raleigh lifted her head and wiped her tear streaked cheeks. "Thanks."

"Can we talk about something?"

"If you're wanting to tell me ‘I told you so,' you can really keep it to yourself." Janie sighed and shut the bathroom door before sitting on the tile floor beside her little sister. "That's not what I wanted to talk about with you."

"Then what?" Raleigh choked back another sob. She hated crying in front of people, especially her family.

"Do you remember what I told ya'll about Jake?"

"Yeah. You said you told him you were pregnant and he accused you of sleeping with another guy. When you proved that you didn't, he wanted you to get an abortion. So you sent him off. And he never looked back with regret. Why?" What was her sister getting at? And what did any of this have to do with her and Josh?

"Well, I lied."

"You lied. About what exactly?"

"Everything. Mommy and Daddy didn't like him, at all. That was no secret. But he treated me like a princess. He was the greatest man I have ever known. And I screwed things up with him."

"How?"

"I didn't tell him I was pregnant until after the operation. He wanted to know why I had been so quiet around him, why I was acting so different. He did accuse me of cheating, but he wasn't a jerk about it. And I decided I couldn't keep it from him anymore. So I told him and he was devastated. He said there was absolutely no reason for me to have had that done. There was no reason for me to kill our baby. He left because he couldn't be with someone who would do that. Not because I was pregnant to begin with."

Raleigh watched as her older sister wiped the tears from her face. She couldn't think of what to say and no words would come out when she opened her mouth to speak. Janie had had an abortion? Did anyone know this?

"Don't tell mommy and Daddy, ok?"

"The truth? Why not? The man they had thought deserted you because he had gotten you into trouble was really one of the greatest guys Memphis has to offer. And he had left you because you killed his baby. Everyone thinks you had a miscarraige, Janie!"

"I know, Ray. I know that. I just don't want them to think less of me for lying to them all this time. They give you a lot of credit for telling them the truth."

Silence filled the room for a few moments before Raleigh sighed. "So why did you tell me all of this?"

"Because my Memphis guy was exactly like Josh. He adored me and I pushed him away because of one mistake. I just wanted you to know what happened with us. I didn't try hard enough to get him back. Maybe if I had we'd still be together and I wouldn't worry that one day the truth would come back to haunt me. Don't make the same mistake I did. You can get him back."

"He couldn't even stand to look at me when I went after him tonight, Janie. I already lost him."

"Hon, you lost him when you let yourself believe you've lost him."
1

Lost in her thoughts, Raleigh looked back on everything. She couldn't remember a time before that day at the carnival last week that she had ever felt worse about herself. Sure Carly had basically told Josh about what she had done by never dropping the subject no matter how many times she had asked her to, but Raleigh just could not find it in herself to blame her. Josh would have found out one way or another she should have told him when she had first found out she was pregnant. Then maybe they could have worked things out. Maybe they wouldn't be at this point where Josh hated her. Maybe they'd be happy. But all of these maybes weren't going to reorder time and allow Raleigh a second chance to save her and Josh's relationship. She had made her decisions and had to live with them. Now she had no other choice than to deal with them.

Pulling out of her thoughts, Raleigh heard a soft "hey" behind her. Turning around, Raleigh was a little surprised to see Carly standing there, looking incredibly nervous.

"Hey." Carly began fidgeting as she became more and more nervous. She knew Raleigh had to be furious with her and she couldn't blame her. She had asked her repeatedly to not bring up the abortion, but she refused to. She had been just plain foolish to bring up the subject at the carnival when Josh could have been anywhere, even directly behind them, which he had been. The way he found out was simply horrible and Carly couldn't help but to feel horrible about it because she had basically put that hurt and anger in his cool blue eyes. Blue eyes had never struck her as a firey color for eyes, but when Josh was hurt and upset, that's all that could be said about them. "what are you doing here?"

"I uh...I just came to see how you were doing."

Raleigh let out a little chuckle and shook her head sadly. "I'm doing just fine."

The way she had laughed and how she was careful not to meet Carly's eyes, she knew Raleigh was lying threw her teeth. Plus too, it didn't take a rocket scientist to know after what had happened at the carnival, nobody would be "just fine."

"Are you?" For the first time since she walked in, Raleigh met her best friend's gaze. She could never lie to her.

Shaking her head sadly, she said in a weak voice, "Not really." It was obvious she wasn't going to say anymore so Carly decided to speak up.

"I am so sorry Ray. I should have listened to you. I had no right to keep bringing it up the way I had been."

"Carly, you had every right." Raleigh cut her off. She could feel the tears begin to pool in her eyes once again as memories flashed through her mind. "I keep looking back on the past seven months trying to figure everything out. What did I do to make Josh break it off, what was I really thinking when I found out I was pregnant and made that appointment? It just plays over and over in my head and I wish now more than anything that I could go back and tell him that I was pregnant and let us figure things out together, but I cant and now Josh hates me. He can't even look at me and it's all my fault." Raleigh shook uncontrollably and she tried desperately not to cry. But she failed and tears soon streamed down her face faster than she could wipe them away.

Carly's heart broke for her best friend. You never got over your first love, and she wasn't sure their time was up just yet. "Josh doesn't hate you, hon. He's just hurt and upset. Give him some time. He loves you, we all know it, Ray. He wants to be with you more than anything."

"I love him, Carly. I never stopped loving him. I tried....I really did. But I always came full circle and found myself loving him more than I could ever hate him."

"I know, Ray. I know." Carly let Raleigh cry into her chest as she rubbed her back soothingly. It was hard seeing her this way. She could only hope things would settle down and go back to the way they were sooner rather than later.

Deb's heart broke as she listened to her daughter cry her heart out to Carly. Of course she hated what Josh had done to her baby girl, sure she and Raleigh fought a majority of the time, but Raleigh was still her little girl and she loved her no matter what. Seeing her hurting that badly just made it that much harder for a mother to let go of her children. Once they are let go, then they can get hurt. That's why she had been so upset with her for sneaking out to be with Josh. It would only end in heart break, which it had. While thinking back, Deb realized she couldn't find one memory that didn't involve Josh in her daughter's life in some way, shape or form. They had plans to run away together and get married in the first town they came to when she had turned sixteen and he was seventeen. But they had only made it a few short miles before Deb and her husband, Keith, caught them and brought them home. Raleigh hated her for that, but a mother had to do what was best for her child in the long run, no matter how she had felt about her. And no matter what Raleigh and Josh had gone through, Deb was certain that they were both still those two kids who were madly in love and wanted nothing more than to run away and be together always and forever. It had just been a bumpy road. True love never dies, it will always make it through.

~*~

Seeing Josh walking down the road into town by himself, Justin figured now would be as good a time as any to try and talk to him. It had been five days since the night at the carnival, and he knew Josh wouldn't come to talk to him on his own. He was stubborn.

"Hey, is it safe to talk to you yet?" Whipping around to see who had come up beside him, Josh let out a breath when he saw it was Justin. He had been lost deep in thought and the last thing he had expected was to be snuck up on.

"Oh, hey J. Yeah, its safe for you to talk to me."

"Good. I talked to your brother yesterday. He said you were thinking of going back to New York early.

"Yeah, I was. But my mom tried so hard to get me home for the summer, I couldn't leave early on her. I mean don't get me wrong, after everything went down, I just wanted to get as far away from here as possible. My mom's lucky I love her." Josh chuckled softly as he kicked a stone in the road.

"That's good ‘cause, you know, we were thinking it'd be ok for you to stick around a little while longer before we want to get rid of you."

"Yeah yeah. Always a smartass." Josh said, pushing Justin a little.

"You know you love me!" Justin teased.

"Yeah, I guess I did miss you and the guys. Plus too, it is kind of lonely in New York."

"I know. That‘s why we didn‘t want you to leave. There are perfectly respectable schools right in Memphis! But no, you had to go all the way northeast to the big bag city."

"Shut up, dude." Josh pushed Justin again. He was like the annoying little brother Tyler was, but he was his best friend and he wouldn't change that for anything. Before either of them could think to do anything else, they heard a high pitched yell. "Oh you gotta be kidding me." Josh said as he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. This was just what he needed to make the perfect summer.

"What the hell was that?" Justin said, looking in the direction of the disturbing noise. "Who is that?"

Turning around, Josh fought hard to not roll his eyes at the tall, skinny blonde running his way wearing clothes that could not have been tighter. "Erin, hi. What are you doing here?" Justin looked at his best friend confusedly. How did he know this girl?

"Looking for you silly! I have been everywhere trying to find you! I forgot your addy and I just couldn't go around door to door asking people if JC lived there. Everyone would think I'm crazy. So I figured I'd just come into town and hope that I'd eventually run into you." Looking next to Josh, the smile dropped from her lips. "Who are you?"

"I'm Justin, Josh's best friend. Who are you?"

"Oh, um, J, this is Erin O'Toole. A friend from school." Turning back to the girl, Josh tried not to let his annoyance show. "So uh, what exactly are you doing ehre? In Tennessee? I thought you were visiting your mom this summer?"

"I was but I got fed up with her new boyfriend and badgering so I left. I didn't know where my dad was and I did not want to go back to school, so then I remembered you saying you were coming home, so here I am. You really weren't kidding when you said Shelby was a small community. Only one hotel."

"You could have stayed in Memphis. I'm sure there's more hotels that are more up to your standards. Nothing like New York, but still pretty nice. Better than the Shelby Inn."

"I didn't want to be that far from you." Josh visibly cringed when Erin looped her arm in his.

"Well, I'd love to hang out with you guys today, but I promised Carly I'd go visit her at work."

"No, Justin...."

"Field at dusk right? Ok, see you then." Justin walked away briskly and Josh was incredibly annoyed. He had to put up with this girl at school and now he was forced to put up with her on his vacation. Could things get any worse?

"So, just you and me, JC. What you wanna do?" Looking at Erin, Josh sighed in defeat.

"You want to just go to the mall in Memphis?"

~*~

Going into The Landing, Tully saw Raleigh crying to Carly and her heart broke. She had been there along with everyone else so she of course knew what had happened. It was just hard witnessing first hand what it did to the people involved.

Feeling a little uncomfortable, Tully cleared her throat hoping they would hear her. She just didn't know what to do.

"Oh, Tully. Hi." Raleigh said, wiping the tears away from her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you guys."

"Oh it's ok. I was just talking things out with Carly here. Anyway, I'm almost done with my shift so we can get going ." Raleigh said before wiping down the table and taking the dishes back into the kitchen.

"Did you want to come with us, Carly? We're just going to go get a late lunch and then a movie."

"No, I can't. I'm just on break so I need to be getting back to the store."

"Oh, ok." Turning to Raleigh as she re-entered the dining hall apron less, Carly wrapped her arms around her once more. "It'll be alright, I promise. I'll see you guys at the field tonight, ok?"

"Yeah."

"Bye. Have fun with your movie. What are you going to see anyway?"

"I don't know. Probably the new Pirates Of The Caribbean. I want some Johnny Depp." Tully said, trying not to smile. She had a big thing for Johnny Depp that only Raleigh and Carly knew about.

"And of course I'm stuck working. Bye guys." Carly teased before leaving the café.

"Bye, Car." Raleigh waved to her friend one last time before telling Tully she'd be right back. She had forgotten her purse in the back room. Something she needed if they were going out to lunch and a movie.

~*~

Taking her gaze off the rack she was stocking with CD's, Carly glanced to the front of the store just in time to see Justin walk in. A smile immediately graced her face as she got his attention.

"Hey baby."

"Hey. Its good to see you. What are you doing here? I thought you were going to go and try to talk with Josh?"

"I did talk to him. Everything's cool. Well, it was until some New York hoochie ran up to us screaming and talking a mile a minute."

"What? J, you completely lost me here." Carly gave him a look of pure confusion and Justin sighed, trying to slow the running thoughts in his head.

"Ok, I was walking down Main with Josh when we heard this squeal. I personally thought someone was torturing a baby pig." Carly let out a little chuckle as she continued to stock the shelves while listening to him. " Anyway, it was this skinny bimbo from Josh's school back in New York. I guess they lives in the same dorm and she came here to finish out the summer with Josh. The way she was all over him was sickening, she even has her own little nickname for him. JC."

"Oo, clever." Carly rolled her eyes at the thought of someone calling Josh, JC. "Why do I feel trouble brewing already for tonight?"

"Because you know she's probably going to be coming to the field with him tonight." Shaking her head slightly, Carly's mind went rapid as she tried to process everything that had happened in the past five days.

Looking down at the floor, she spoke in a low voice. "I know what Raleigh did was wrong, but am I the only one who understands why she did it?"

Running his hands up and down her arms comfortingly, Justin shook his head. "No, we all understand why. But it's different when you're the father."

"Yeah. I know." There was a short silend before Carly cleared her throat and pulled away from Justin's loving embrace. "I have to get back to work. But I'll see you tonight, ok?"

"Ok. Bye baby." Justin gave her a quick peck on the lips before leaving her to her work at the store. She tried to think of anything except the events she was sure were going to go down tonight, but she just couldn't. Raleigh was going to see Josh with this New York chick and completely break down again. It was not going to go well.

"Hey Chris." Raleigh went over to her older friend. Her smile quickly faded as she noticed him looking a little torn. "You ok, Buddy?

"Um, no. Mandy just called me. It turns out we're suppose to go to her mother's tonight for dinner and to do baby plans. So now I have no clue who is going to run the dj booth."

"Well, that's quite a problem. But you don't have to worry about it. I'll do it."

Chris' troubled eyes began to shine with hope. "Really? You'll do it?"

"Yes, now get your cute butt home to your pregnant wife."

"Thank you so much, Ray. I owe you!"

"Have a good night, Chris."

"Bye Ray!" Chris gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before running to his car to go home.

"Oh boy." Raleigh sighed as she looked at the mess in front of her,. She had about forty minutes to set up the dj booth before dusk and everyone showed up wanting some kickin' music. "well, lets get to work." She mumbled to herself as she set work on organizing the jumble of albums and electronics before her. It was going to be tricky, but she was pretty sure she'd get it done in no time.

---

"JC, I really don't like this. You sure you know where you're going?"

"Yes, Erin. I've lived here all my life, I think I know how to get to the party spot I helped discover."

"Well there's no need to get snappy." Josh chuckled and shook his. Sarcasm was the only form of communication he could really use with this girl. Stopping dead in his tracks, Josh turned around to see what had made Erin scream and freak out.

"What? What's wrong?"

"What is that?" Erin clung to Josh's arm for dear life and he looked to the spot she was pointing at. He began laughing once again when he realized she was afraid of a little harmless chipmunk.

"Erin, relax. It's just a chipmunk. You can release the death grip on my arm now."

Letting go of his arm, Erin followed him through the rest of the woods. "It looked like a rat."

"You really need to get out of the city more."

"You're so funny."

"It's about time you realize that." Josh smiled at her before going into the large open field where the teenagers of the town had already begun to swarm. Much to his dismay, Josh's eyes had immediately began to scan the crown for Raleigh. He made himself stop looking and diverted his eyes to Erin, he felt absolutely no attraction to her what so ever. Sure, she was pretty but she used her looks too much. She was the typical petite blonde haired, blue eyed girl that only wore tight pants, belly bearing shirts, and the shortest skirts you could find. She came off as having incredible confidence but Josh knew her better than that. Inside she was just as insecure and scared as everyone else. Erin was too worried about appearances and popularity to actually be attractive to him. She was shallow, plain and simple. He had dated and loved Raleigh because she was real. She told it how it was and never put up a front. She never cared what people thought about her and he could stare into her beautiful lilac eyes for hours on end and still not know what was hidden behind them sometimes. She was mysterious and dark but loving and obvious at the same time. Lately, he wasn't so sure who she was anymore though. She was so different and Josh knew he had played more than one part in that transformation.

---

"Hey girly, wasn't Chris suppose to doing the music?"

"Yeah, but Mandy called. Something came up so I told him I'd take care of it."

"Well now that's unfair to you because you can't party and dance with my sexy ass."

"Joey," Raleigh said looking at him seductively. "You get me all the beer I want and another shot, you can have some dances."

"Just dancing huh?" Joey got dangerously close to Raleigh and she felt herself slipping at his soft, sexy voice.

"Hey hey hey! Put it away Fatone." Carly and Justin cut in, breaking them apart.

"Hey man, why you gotta be like that?" Joey looked at his their friends. It was no secret between he and Justin that he had a thing for Raleigh, and he knew given just one more second, he may have gotten the kiss he had longed for.

"Because we love Raleigh and want to keep her safe." Carly said, wrapping an arm around her best friend, only to get Joey sticking his tongue out at her in response. " Real mature, Joey."

"Shut up."

"Enough children." Raleigh laugher. She loved her friends and this was exactly was she needed to get her mind off things.

"So, have you guys seen her yet?" Carly decided to change the subject.

"Yeah. He brought her here. She's such a tramp. Its completely obvious he can't stand the girl but we all know he's too damn nice to say "get the fuck away from me." Don't get me wrong, the boy is my best friend, but he needs to grow a pair of balls." Raleigh listened to Justin confusedly. Who was he talking about? It became clear when he said "my best friend" though. They were talking about Josh and his "New York trash" as Joey so nicely put it. Raleigh had yet to see the girl, but from what they were all saying, she could already picture her. A tall, skinny blue-eyed blonde haired bimbo with big boobs and a fake tan.

"Speak of the devil. Here they come now." Raleigh looked in the direction of the other three's gazes and she felt sad and upset once again. Tonight had taken a turn for the worst.

---

While not at the dj table, Raleigh had made a stance at the bar made just for the parties out at the field. Seeing Josh with any other woman was too much for her to handle. She had made it a point to get completely intoxicated and was well on her way to doing just that. She was allowing the alcohol to work its magic and wipe away her cares for the night.

"hey girly, you should slow down a bit. Wouldn't want to have to carry you home."

"Ah Joey, I wouldn't want you to have to carry me home either. You just might take advantage of me once you had me in bed." She winked at him.

"Nah. I would, but then your boy over there might beat the living hell out of me like he did James." Looking over in the direction Joey nodded, Raleigh sighed.

"He's not my boy anymore. And James deserved the beating he got."

Looking at how heartbroken the girl really was over Josh, Joey thought it best to drop the subject. "How about a shot?"

"Sounds perfect." Raleigh had done three more shots of crown royal with Joey before realizing it was time to light the wooden dummy bon fire.

"Shit, do you have the matches?"

"Uh..no. I think they're at the dj table."

"Oh yeah. Raleigh stumbled her way over to the table and stopped the music after locating her matches. Taking her microphone, she spoke and stumbled to the pile of wood in the center of the field. "Hey, ya'll ready to set the dummy on fire?" She yelled to everyone who screamed in response, but she thought they all could do better than that. "No, no, no. I said are you ready to set the dummy on fire!" A big smile shown on her face as everyone scream as loud as they possibly could. Everyone except Josh that is. He watched on in horror as she spoke some more.

"She is not going to light that fire. Look at her! She can barely stand on her own!"

"You want her not to do it? Go try and stop her." Justin said before taking a gulp of his beer.

"She should not be going up that ladder or handling fire. She's gonna get herself killed." Josh kept saying to himself. But no matter how worried he became for her well being, he just could not make himself go over to her. He was still insanely upset with her and he was beginning to get mad at himself for letting his true feelings for her get in the way of how he should be feeling, how he wanted to feel. But it was a battle he would ultimately lose.

"I need a drink." He said before going to the bar.

---

"Hi Joey!" Raleigh bounced up behind the man sitting in one of the many chairs around the fire and wrapped her arms around him.

"Jesus, Ray. You scared the hell out of me."

"Sorry, Joe." She giggled as she moved around his chair and plopped down on his lap.

"Yeah, yeah. What's up, Ray?"

"What will it take for you to be my partner in a game of beer pong? Somebody needs to put and end to the dynasty."

"Raleigh, I think you've had enough to drink."

"Puh puh puh pwease?" Pouting out her bottom lip, Raleigh tried to look as sad as she possibly could. She really wanted to kill Josh at his own game and this was the perfect opportunity. He couldn't beat her at anything.

"Ok, fine." Joey sighed.

"Yay! Thank you!" Raleigh threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly before jumping up and grabbing his hand and pulling him up. "Let's go!"

"Ray, there's a list."

"And we're already on it. We're on deck."

"Nice to know." Joey said before allowing the drunken girl to pull him across the field tot eh beer pong table. They got there just in time to see Josh and Justin sink both of their ball sin the same cup. It was the first win like that that night, and the boys couldn't have been happier. Nobody could beat them, nobody was better, except for Raleigh and she fully intended to give them, Josh mainly, the same humiliation they had just caused the opposing team. The rule was if both pong balls were sunk in the same cup, that was the game and the losers had to strip down naked and run around the party. From what Joey heard, it seemed like Adam and John were refusing to do it, calling the game bullshit.

"Oh shut up and strip down you pussies. You played the game fully knowing the rules, don't try and weasel your way out of it." Joey received two death looks, but the boys quit complaining and stripped down. Looking around her, Raleigh noticed everyone was watching the table. They were more interested in how the new game was going to go down between the ex's and best duos for beer pong. Looking at Josh and Justin, Raleigh got a burst of confidence. Maybe it was from all the alcohol running through her system, maybe it was from watching the New York slut all over Josh, she didn't know, but the only thing she wanted to do right then was to wipe that victorious grin off his face. And that is just what she intended to do.

"You boys ready to lose?"

Stepping away from Erin, Josh lost the smile that had been plastered to his face all night long. "You seem so sure of yourself, Raleigh."

Looking Josh square in the eye, something she didn't know she had in her to do, Raleigh gave him a sly grin. "I could beat you with my eyes closed and you now it. Oh wait, I've already done that, haven't I?"

"Ok, ok, let's do this." Joey knew this would only end badly if h didn't shut Raleigh up himself.

Taking their first shots, Raleigh and Joey got rollbacks. Raleigh was three for three and Joey missed his third shot so the other team finally got a turn. Josh got a little upset when Justin sunk his ball and he missed. The balls were back to Raleigh and Joey. They had the dynasty down to one cup so the pressure was on. Unfortunately, they had both missed their shots. Josh and Justin got rollbacks that time and threw again. The would have had another shot but Josh's ball swirled around the cup near the top and Raleigh was able to blow it out before it touched the beer.

"You were always good at blowing." Josh tried embarrassing her, unfortunately, she wouldn't take that.

"And if anyone would know it certainly is not you." If he wanted to dish it out, she'd dish it right back.

As Raleigh and Joey took their shots at the final cup, the boys were sweating bullets. If one of them made this shot, it was up to them to finish the game. They couldn't miss, but unfortunately, they didn't do as well as they needed. Raleigh had made her shot but both Josh and Justin missed theirs. That was the game.

Giving Joey a high five, Raleigh turned to her opponents and smirked. "Drink up boys, I told you, you can never beat me." She started to walk away from the table but Joey stopped her before she could go any farther. "Where you going? We're up against Brady and JL next."

"Oh, I have to and change the music up a bit. You should find yourself a new partner."

"Ahh, you just wanted to beat his ass didn't you?"

Laughing a little, she said "Yep, that's about it."

Laughing and shaking his head, Joey agreed to find a new partner. "Alright. Have fun and give us something we can dance to."

"Don't worry, I have the perfect song for you, now go and beat their asses at beer pong."

"Oh I will."

Going back over to her table, Raleigh found the song she thought was perfect and put it in. Turning on the microphone, she yelled to everyone, "Alright, I wanna see ya'll dancing!" Hitting play, Raleigh enjoyed the cheers and laughter she got from everyone as they heard Baby got Back by sir Mix a Lot booming through the speakers.

Going over to Raleigh dancing, Carly joined in. Not long after, Joey bounced his way in singing.

"'Cause I'm long and I'm strong, and I'm down to get the friction on!" Josh watched as Raleigh threw her head back in laughter before dancing all up on Joey. He hated how he felt the jealousy surge through him. Raleigh was no longer his girl. He had completely shunned her from his life and as much as he hated the fact that he couldn't hate her, he found himself still loving her. But it would be a long time before he could ever forgive her. Yes, he could admit to himself he knew why she had done what she did, but he wasn't ready to admit it to anyone else. Especially Raleigh.

---

Seeing Raleigh by herself over at the Dj table for the first time that night, Josh decided to go over. He was angry with her, but he was dying to hear her voice and look into her lilac eyes once again. While making his way towards her, he shook his head when he saw her light a cigarette. He hadn't seen her light up since her show over a month ago, he had figured she quit, hoped she had quit.

"Hey." Raleigh stopped mid-puff and looked to her left. Surprise graced her features when she saw Josh standing there. "Hi."

"Thought you quit." Looking at the cigarette in her hand, Raleigh sighed.

"I only smoke when I'm under stress."

"Smoking does nothing but give you cancer."

"What do you want, Josh? It's completely obvious you can't stand me so why the small talk?" Raleigh watched as Josh lowered his head and kicked at something on the ground that wasn't there. He didn't know why he was speaking to her either.

Taking on last puff on her cigarette, Raleigh dropped it to the ground and stepped on it. While exhaling, she nodded toward Erin who was flirting with Joey shamelessly.

"So, we get in a fight and you bring the girl you broke up with me for down here. Nice touch."

"Not that it's any of your business, but I'm not with her like that and I didn't break up with you for her."

"I'm sure." Raleigh rolled her eyes.

"what about you? It didn't take long after for you to jump in the sac with James the asshole."

"Ok, one; what does it matter what I did after you sent me a letter to break up with me? And two; I waited four months before dating him. He was there for me when the person I needed most wasn't. "

"So you don't deny sleeping with him? I hope he knew what he was getting into."

"And what is that suppose to mean exactly?" Raleigh looked at josh and crossed her arms. She hoped he wasn't about to say what she was thinking he meant.

"Nothing. I just hope he didn't want kids. You probably would have killed them." Before either of them could comprehend what had happened, Raleigh slapped Josh across the face as hard as she could. She was so full of rage with what he had just said and she was ready to take it out on him here and now.

"You have no right to speak to me like that! Don't you dare act like you're not a two-timing, backstabbing bastard, Joshua because you are. Yes, ok? I made a big mistake that I wish like hell I could take back day after day but I cant! I have to live with my decisions everyday of my life but don't you dare try to act like you're better than me because you're not." Shaking her head, Raleigh's body shook as she tried to calm down a little. Taking a shaky breath, she looked up into his blue eyes once again. "We're both the same, Josh. WE took the cowardly ways out. But now you're off the hook, you'll never have to see me again after the end of summer beach party. We'll go our separate ways and live our own lives without one another. And I hope yours is wonderful." Walking away briskly, Raleigh tried not to let everyone see the tears that never seemed to stop falling.

Watching Raleigh walk away from him, Josh felt the fire burning within him. Nobody was good at getting under his skin like her. Sure what he said was wrong, but he was angry and hurt and that was the first thing to come out of his mouth before he could think. And he never thought he'd regret it like he had.

Raleigh was downstairs drinking a glass of orange juice thinking about the events of last night. Josh's face when he saw it was her at his door, the looks of pure hatred he cast her way, the fire burning in his cool blue eyes, the harsh words that came out from between those beautiful plush lips...it was all more than she could handle. The one man she had ever loved more than anything in her life, and she had succeeded in making him hate her. No, he completely despised her. He couldn't even stand to be in her presence when she had gone to apologize for everything and explain her actions. Seeing him like that was horrible. She told him she hadn't expected him to be kind, but him acting that way just broke her heart all over again. And what was his response?

Good.

That one word completely ripped her heart out of her chest and tore it into a million and one pieces. She had run home and cried herself into a restless sleep. And now here she was, up since six in the morning sipping some orange juice and most likely looking like total hell. But she couldn't care less. She was hurting beyond anything your imagination could think up and everyone knew it. Yes, it was her fault for letting him find out what she had done in that way, but that didn't make it hurt any less. If possible it actually made her hurt even worse. That one word...all night she couldn't get that one word out of her mind, and here she was letting it get to her again.

Good.

How was it possible for one man to crush her life twice in one year? Because she let him. Because she let herself get close to him again and she knew it was a bad idea from the very beginning. She would only end up hurt in the end. And she did. But what was different this time was it was her fault...and she had hurt him just badly.

Deciding she couldn't sit there anymore reflecting on the drastic change of events that had occurred this summer, Raleigh put her glass in the sink and went upstairs to take a shower. When she got out, she was going to get Carly and go to the mall in Memphis. They only went there on occasion, usually once a month, possibly every two months, but she could make an exception this once. Tonight she was performing at the beach and she knew Josh was going to be there. With or without Erin by his side, she was going to put on the show of her with a new song and a new wardrobe. She was going to show everyone she could go on living without Joshua Scott in her life. And maybe, just maybe, Josh will see he can't go on without her in his.

---

Hearing the giggling of the two girls in Raleigh's bedroom, Deb sighed. She knew the happiness her daughter felt at that moment would be gone as soon as she began speaking. Knocking three times on her bedroom door, Deb waited for the "come in" before opening the door.

"Hey, momma. What's up?" Raleigh turned from her vanity and smiled at her mother. They had finally begun to get along and she couldn't be happier.

"I was just seeing if you were almost ready to go." Looking at her clad in her bath robe, she assumed it would be a while.

"Um, you and daddy can go ahead. Carly and I have to finish getting ready. We'll met you there."

"You sure?"

"yeah. You guys have to set up the refreshment table anyway. You should get going. I'll be there within the next hour."

"Alright. Bye girls, make sure you're there by four, at the latest."

"We will, bye." Carly waved to Deb and as soon as the door was closed, they began speaking and giggling once again. Raleigh was trying her best to not let the nerves take over her and she had been doing a pretty good job of it until her mother had come in and asked if she were ready yet. Of course all she really had to do was put on her dress and shoes, that would be taken off as soon as they arrived at the beach, but she could drag that on as long as need be.

"I see that look." Carly said as she finished curling her friend's hair.

"What look? I don't know what you're talking about."

"Ray, you're nervous. You can't lie or hide it from me."

"I think I have a reason to be nervous."

"You're right, you do. I just wish you wouldn't try to hide it from me." Putting the last curl in her hair, she set down the iron and turned to Raleigh. "You've worked on this song a million times, you have it down pat and there is no doubt in my mind that it won't make Josh come to a realization. I guarantee, before you leave for school you two will be back together. You guys belong with one another and everyone knows it, including him."

Trying to not let the tears fall, Raleigh hugged her best friend. She always got it, Carly always understood what exactly she was going through and she always said the right thing, the thing she always wanted to hear, but most of all, she knew that was what Carly believed. She told the story how it was, and Raleigh could only hope Josh would come back to her before she never saw him again.

"Come on hun, we should finish getting ready and get to the beach." Wiping her eyes and fixing her make up, Raleigh got up and grabbed her dress and sandals to change. Carly did the same and before they knew it, they were walking down the pier that led to the section of the beach the party was always at.

"You ready for this?" Carly asked as they walked and she looped her arm in Raleigh's.

Taking in a deep breath and slowly releasing it, Raleigh nodded her head in compliance. "As ready as I'm gonna be." And on they walked. As soon as their feet met the sand, the girls took off their shoes and immediately went to find their friends. Raleigh of course found her mother first to let her know she had arrived and would be ready to sing whenever needed.

---

Oh God.

There she was. Looking even more breath taking than normal. He could have slapped himself right then and there for the way he treated her the night before. Yes, she made a mistake, everyone makes mistakes. Why couldn't he just admit that he didn't care anymore? He loved her, he always would no matter what. She could kill someone and he probably would help her cover it up...hopefully that would never happen. The point was he still loved her more than ever and it killed him to know how mean he had been to her when she came to speak with him. No, being mean was a huge understatement. He was the biggest asshole on the face of the earth and he knew it, his friends told him in round about ways constantly.

Watching from the stage area, Josh felt the guilt thicken in his gut. He heard Erin speaking to him but he wasn't even pretending to acknowledge her this time. He was sick and tired of her and he hated the fact that Raleigh assumed they were together. He never thought he would care what someone thought about him until he didn't have Raleigh anymore, thanks to nobody but himself.

She was stunning standing there in her maroon halter dress, new he guessed. Her hair blew softly in the wind, curls blowing slightly around her face, her fingers gently brushing them back to the side. She was speaking animatedly with Joey and began laughing once again. And once again Josh felt the jealousy course through him. He hated seeing her with anyone else. He wasn't blind, he knew Joey liked Raleigh more than a friend or younger sister type. He also knew that if she ever decided to date him, he would be much better to her than James had been. But hopefully they wouldn't get together, because he still loved her...

He still wanted her.

---

Standing by Carly and Joey, Raleigh tried to not let the nerves affect her, it wasn't working so well. Of course she had never been nervous performing in front of a crowd before, but this song was special to her, it was deep and it would tell the entire world how she felt about what was going on with Josh and she. She didn't feel ready...she didn't feel as though she were good enough to be performing it already. But she had no choice. She needed Josh to hear it and this was the only way he ever would. She promised herself after today she wouldn't dwell on this any longer. Josh was the past and her future was coming soon. She would be in LA in two weeks preparing to start school, and Josh would be back at NYU...with Erin. She hated the foul taste that erupted into her mouth with one thought of the girl, but she swallowed the hatred down and took a few slow, deep breaths.

She would get through this.

She had to get through this.

Hearing her father announce her on stage, Raleigh fought the sudden urge to vomit everywhere and plastered a fake smile to her face and went up the four small steps and took the microphone from her father. Hopefully things would go smoothly...hopefully her nerves wouldn't ruin this for her.

"Hey guys. So, normally I do one of the old songs that the town votes as its favorite. This year I am going to do it a little differently. I have a new song and it desperately needs to be heard." Looking square at Josh, she tried to not turn away for he was staring back just as intently. "I hope ya'll like it as much as I do." The music began playing and right on beat she allowed the lyrics to flow freely from her lips, full of meaning and passion.

I never promised you a ray of light
I never promised there'd be sunshine everyday
I'll give you everything I have
The good, the bad

Why do you put me on a pedestal?
I'm so up high that I can't see the ground below
So help me down you got it wrong
I don't belong there

One thing is clear
I wear a halo
I wear a halo when you look at me
But standing from here
You wouldn't say so
You wouldn't say so if you were me
And I, I just wanna love you
Oh oh I, I just wanna love you

I always said that I would make mistakes
I'm only human
And that's my saving grace
I'll fall as hard as I try
So don't be blinded
See me as I really am
I have flaws and sometimes I even sin
So pull me from that pedestal
I don't belong there

One thing is clear
I wear a halo
I wear a halo when you look at me
But standing from here
You wouldn't say so
You wouldn't say so if you were me
And I, I just wanna love you
Oh oh I, I just wanna love you

Why you think that you know
But in your eyes
I am something above you
It's only in your mind
Only in your mind
I wear a
I wear
I wear a halo

One thing is clear
I wear a halo
I wear a halo when you look at me
But standing from here
You wouldn't say so
You wouldn't say so if you were me
And I, I just wanna love you
Oh oh I, I just wanna love you
I just wanna love you

Heeeey hey hey halo

Looking Josh square in the eyes once more, Raleigh said a quick "Thank you." to the cheering crowd, threw down the mike and ran off stage, to where, she didn't know. But she had to get out of there. She felt as though she were suffocating. She watched the emotion run though Josh's eyes and it was too much for her. Maybe she was imagining things, but she could swear she saw love, regret, and pain written in his eyes. One could only hope...but she was supposed to be over him right?

Right.

*Halo by Bethany Joy Galeotti (Haley James Scott)

 

Running down the street, Raleigh tried to get home as fast as possible. She had to hurry and get ready. They were all meeting at Chris and Mandy's house at six for an end of summer dinner where everyone could say goodbye to one another. She knew Josh would be there but she didn't care. She couldn't keep avoiding him like the plague and she certainly wasn't going to ruin their night at a friend's house, no matter what was going on between them.

As she entered her empty house and ran upstairs to hop in the shower, her cell phone began ringing. Picking it up and trying to strip down, she was glad to hear it was Carly.

"Hey, Carly. What's up?"

"Just wondering, you're going to Chris and Mandy's, right?"

"Yeah. I just have to hop in the shower and get ready. I'll be there in like in hour or so." Raleigh heard Carly laugh on the other end of the phone.

"I'd bet on the or so."

"Shut up, Car. Its not my fault I had to pull a double at the café."

"I know I know. So did you want me to ride with you over there? Or did you just want to meet us all there?"

"You can go ahead. Tell everyone I'll be there soon."

"Will do. Bye girl."

"Bye, Carly." Raleigh hung up the phone and went straight into the bathroom to take a shower. Chris and Mandy were having a little get together at their house so everyone could hang out once more before most of them left for school in a week or so. Well, in Raleigh's case, tomorrow. She was excited to be hanging out with everyone one last time, but she was also nervous as hell. Because if everyone was going to be there, that meant Josh was going to be there too. And she hoped he left his New York white trash at the hotel. It didn't take a rocket scientist to see that Raleigh didn't like the girl. She was never one to hide her feelings, especially from those who tried to piss her off and make her jealous, thus pissing her off more, in the first place. She wasn't positive, but she didn't think anyone else in the group liked her either. What was her name? Edith? No. Evelyn? No, that wasn't it. It started with an e and it may have been a guy's name, that much she remembered.

Erin.

That was it. Erin O'Mally. The bitch who thought she actually had a chance with Josh, Oh no, wait. JC. That's what everyone in New York called him. What was that? His name is Joshua, don't try and shorten it just because you think it's cute and he needed to get away from his southern roots. He is not JC. He is her Josh...but then again, he's not really hers anymore, is he? Maybe that's who this guy really was. JC. He was probably the one who had even broken up with her. Was it possible Josh had separated his new life at school from his old life, the one were she was, the one where all his life-long friends mattered? She blamed the bitch. Erin. He said Erin wasn't the one that had given him the nickname, But Raleigh was pretty sure she was the one who had wanted to change him, oh no, change it. But you might as well say him. When she was around, he was a completely different person. He was a poser. Is this what he was like in New York? When Raleigh had first seen them together at the field, after she about vomited, she noticed how differently he acted. It reminded her of Complicated by Avril Lavign really. You're somebody else around everyone else mainly. He confused her.

Getting out of the shower, Raleigh dried off and got dressed and did her hair and make up. When she was satisfied with her look and was sure she had everything, she left for Chris and Mandy's.

---

Sitting in his jeep outside the large house, Josh took a deep breath. Was he really ready for this? He hadn't seen her, or spoken to her really since Monday night. He didn't really like to think about that. He had been so mean to her. A part of him thought she had deserved it, but now, he felt horrible. And he was so mad at himself for having a conscience about this. He hated the fact that he couldn't hate her, and he wanted to so badly.

Deciding he couldn't prevent the inevitable any longer, Josh got out of his jeep and went up to the house and rang the doorbell.

"Hey asswipe! You're finally here. Get your ass in here." Chris put his arm around Josh's neck and pulled him inside the house only moments before announcing to everyone that he was there without the New York hoochie. Josh thought that was a little uncalled for, but he couldn't really disagree. She did have a lot of guys that were loved and left who still wanted her. That's what she did, she made the guys who liked her think they had a chance with her, and then she'd have sex with them to get something out of it for herself and then she'd kick them out and never so much as look at them again. Why exactly did he hang out with her? He had no idea. Something must be wrong with him he concluded. Apparently all the women were in the kitchen cooking dinner so the guys were all in the living room playing poker. Of course to get into the living room you had to pass the kitchen, and Josh couldn't help but to look in to see if Raleigh was already there.

Oh was she ever.

He caught himself before anyone noticed he had started to stare at her. She looked so beautiful. She was dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a red and black tank top that had a corset look to it, probably from Hot Topic, but the way her hair fell over her shoulders in those little curls and the way her black eyeliner off-set her lilac eyes, she was positively stunning. He noticed she was joking around with Mandy and her laughter filled his ears. He always thought she had the cutest laugh. It was a loud sound, but it wasn't too loud that it was annoying. And when she really got going she would start to squeak because it was hard for her to breathe when she was laughing so hard. It had been a while since he had heard her laugh. It felt good.

The next thing Josh knew, Chris had run into the kitchen to get some more beer for the guys and he stopped to rub Mandy's pregnant belly and give her a little kiss. And then it happened. Raleigh's eyes diverted to him, and their eyes locked. He could feel the chills beginning again. She was the only one who could do that to him. It only lasted a few seconds until Raleigh looked away and went to check on something that was in the oven. He wasn't positive, but he was pretty sure it was just so she wouldn't have to look at him. Which he couldn't really blame her for. He did after all make her feel like crap after everything they had been through. But he still stuck with the feeling that she should have told him. But he wasn't going to dwell on it. He was here to hang out with his friends before he went back to NYU, and he was going to have a good time, no matter what.

---

It was after dinner and the guys had all diverted back into the living room to continue their game of poker while the girls all continued to clean up the kitchen. After just sitting around and talking about anything and everything, Mandy took the girls all upstairs. She said she wanted to show them the new room. Raleigh wasn't sure, but she figured it was the new nursery. She had spoken with Mandy a lot, and she had never heard her say anything about the nursery, and the baby was due next month.

Trudging up the staircase, laughing with all the girls, Raleigh was full and ready for what Mandy was going to show them. But as soon as she entered the room, loads of regret filled her mind. She couldn't think or concentrate on anything but the baby colors and the little crib over in the corner or the smell of the diapers and baby wipes and lotion. She saw all the girls disperse throughout the room and Carly held up a little outfit for the baby and said something about it being so cute. But Raleigh couldn't concentrate on everything going on around her. She could only feel the dizziness in her head, and she could only hear the angry words Josh had said to her Saturday night. She had to get out of there. She had to stop the harsh words. She had to stop the tears and the feeling that she was going to pass out.

Running downstairs and outside, Raleigh couldn't hold it in anymore. Everything she felt from the moment she saw Josh at her show up until she saw him walk right in Chris and Mandy's house just flooded out of her through her tears. Everything, it was all her fault. Why Josh had broken up with her, why she had fallen in love with him again, if she had even fallen out of love with him, why her family hated him, why he hated her. Everything was all her fault. And now she was sitting on the front stairs of the house bawling her eyes out all alone and she couldn't stop, and that was all her fault. She had told herself it was trouble. Letting herself close to him again would only hurt her again. And it did. But it had hurt them both. Because if she had distanced herself from him like she had vowed to do after that first night, this would have never happened. He wouldn't have found out, and if he did, he wouldn't have shown her how much he hated, no, despised her now for killing their child. All she wanted more than anything was for Josh to run out here and hold her in his arms, let her cry into his chest and tell her everything was going to be alright. But she knew that wasn't going to happen.

Because she had majorly fucked everything up with one mistake she made seven months ago.

~*~

Josh had just been sitting in the living room playing cards with all the guys when he had looked up just in time to see Raleigh speed by the room with her hand covering her mouth. She looked like she was about to break down at any given second, and damn him, he was worried. As much as he had tried to hate her for what she had done over the last three weeks, he couldn't. All he wanted was to tell her he forgave her and that's what he hated more than anything, the fact that no matter what, he could never hate her.

That's why he threw down his cards, told the guys to deal him out and he ran out the front door and what he saw almost made his heart stop. Raleigh was sitting on the steps with her head in her hands, sobbing uncontrollably. Not wanting to scare her, Josh stepped forward and softly said, "hey."

Well, to hell with not scaring her.

Raleigh stood up startled and turned around to see who was behind her. Imagine her surprise to see Josh there looking at her with a worried expression on his face. He was probably just coming out to get something from his car and he saw her sitting there. Did it make him want to run to her and hold her the way she longed for him to? Did he want to kiss away her tears? Or did he just want to run away screaming because he hated her and she always seemed to be in his way?

"A-are you ok?" He stuttered a little, which made a crap-load of new thoughts run through Raleigh's mind. He only stuttered when he was really nervous or worried.

Wiping away the tears that stained her cheeks, Raleigh sniffled loudly before softly murmuring a "just fine."

"You don't look fine, Ray." Why now? Why did he have to be nice to her now? She didn't deserve it and was probably reading more into it than she should have, but it was killing her even more. He looked at her with such caring eyes and worry in his soft, beautiful voice. She couldn't take this much longer. She couldn't speak, she couldn't even think. So she shrugged in response.

"It's nothing." Her gaze was peered to the ground. She couldn't look at him anymore, for if she did, she would lose all control again.

"Ray, I know you. You don't cry over nothing. What happened?"

"Why are you doing this?" Her voice was soft and shaky. Couldn't he see that this was tearing her apart inside?

"Because, believe it or not, after everything that has happened, I do still care."

"You shouldn't." She whispered, wiping away the tear that had had the nerve to escape her red eye.

"Please, tell me what happened."

She shouldn't. She didn't want to. But dammit she needed to talk to someone or she was going to explode. He seemed willing to listen and he was the only one that needed to hear what she was dying to say. Letting out a deep breath, Raleigh simply said, "Mandy took us up to see the nursery." But that was all she needed to say. Josh knew why she had run out sobbing, he knew why didn't want to tell him.

"Oh." Was all he could say.

They were both silent for what seemed like hours but was only a few minutes. Josh couldn't stand it anymore. He had to know. "Why didn't you tell me? I would have come home to be with you."

Raleigh looked up at Josh and was certain she saw his eyes tearing up. This hurt him just as much as it hurt her. "I didn't want you to be with me only for a baby. I wanted you back, but I wasn't about to do that to you. You wanted to see what else was out there. You didn't want a girlfriend to hang over your head. So why should I dangle a baby there too?"

"But why did you go and..."

"Because I was scared!" She practically yelled at him. "I was scared of being a single mom, I was scared I would never get the chance to go to school and work on my music ever again. I was scared that you would come home and resent me for not letting you have a future. I was just so scared. I didn't' think you would ever find out. I wanted you to be happy with who ever you found up in New York."

"Well, that plan did a lot of good, don't you think?"

"God, I'm sorry Josh! Ok? I am so sorry I did that. I wanted so badly to hate you when you came home, but I couldn't. I let myself fall in love with you all over again and I knew I shouldn't have. Because if we got close again, you had a bigger chance at finding out. But I didn't care. You were here for three months and I thought maybe we could go back. God, I just....I love you, Josh. So much. I always have and I always will. You sending me that letter was like a fucking death call. I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe. I sheltered myself away from everyone. The only person I wanted was you. But I knew that wouldn't happen and when I found out I was pregnant, I had picked up the phone and a pen and paper so many times, but nothing ever seemed to come out right. So I gave up. I got scared and I did something unforgivable. And James was there and I was vulnerable and we ended up getting together. I think I wanted to prove to myself that the world doesn't end with you, but no matter how hard I tried, thoughts of you never left my mind. You were always right there with me. I never got over you. I never stopped loving you. The world may not have ended, but mine did. I'm just....I'm sorry. I am so sorry." Raleigh held onto herself tight and let the tears run down her face, let the sobs coming out of her throat.

"It's ok."

Raleigh looked at him in disbelief. "No it's not. I did something so horrible, how can you stand there and say you forgive me, that it's ok what I did to you? You can't."

"Too bad. Because I do." Raleigh looked up into his crystal blue eyes and found nothing that told her he was playing some sick joke on her. He was really forgiving her. How could he do that? Stepping closer to her, Josh put his hands on both sides of her face, causing her to look him in the face. "I love you, Raleigh Coons. Always and forever."

"I love you." Raleigh sobbed as she let him pull her face to his own. Their lips met in a passionate kiss. One that Raleigh never wanted to end. Their mouths fit perfectly with each other. The kiss she had waited for for so long had finally come and it was perfect. She still fit perfectly against him and she was so happy. She couldn't remember anytime in the past year that she had been so happy. Pulling away form the kiss so she could breathe, Raleigh wrapped her arms around Josh's neck and held on tight. There was no way she could let him go now. They had been through too much. This time, she was sure, they were going to make it. There was just one problem.

She was leaving for LA tomorrow.