Forget what you think you know about him.  He’s a user and a liar.  I fell in love with him because all along, it was exactly what he wanted, all a part of his fucked up manipulation scheme.

I can’t place the blame entirely on him, though.  I should’ve seen it coming.  I've always been able to smell a bullshit line from a mile away.  Of course, that was until he came along.  It’s like he short-circuited my brain, or something.  One look at him and every wall, every defense mechanism I had built was instantly shattered.

Part of me still wants to give him another chance. He’s as much of a victim as I was and, knowing what I know now, it was all a misunderstanding.  A nest of deception created by someone who didn’t want the world to know the truth about her. 

Her.

She deserves more credit than he does.  She orchestrated everything so flawlessly. She turned my family, the man I loved-and who I thought loved me-against me.  She had him convinced I was responsible for destroying the life of an innocent man.  A man who, despite himself, fell in love with her.  All so she could recount the sordid tales with her lover as foreplay.  Evil bitch.

But now that the truth is out in the open, it’s all so different.  He says he still loves me, always did. And part of me wants to believe him, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust him. I mean, how can I possibly trust someone who’s done nothing but lie to me since the day I met them? He’s always quick to dispute that particular logic.  He says that through it all, as much as he wanted to hate me, he loved me more than anything, and that the love between us was never a lie. Whatever.

Confused? Join the fucking club.

Maybe I need to start from the beginning…