This was it. Tonight was the night. I have waited for this precise moment since I was 12 years old and Maggie moved to Millington.

Oh god, I could still see that long brunette hair flowing past her shoulders and the sharp green of her eyes. I remember how soft her hand was when she shook mine and introduced herself. I was smiling at the thought as I strolled happily down the quiet street of my neighborhood. It was ten o'clock at night and the day had been long and exciting. Graduation had passed. I was finally free from the hell of high school.

I guess that was a bit dramatic. It wasn't hell, per se. I had Trace and most importantly Maggie. From sixth grade to now, we've all been inseperable. Maggie and Trace grew to be great friends. I, however, grew deeply in love with Maggie. I've never told her though, too hung up on the fear of rejection, but I had a newfound confidence. I used to be really nerdy and out of place here. Maggie was always more into the pretty boys. The hot guys. That's what she went for. I didn't blame her. I was some pimple-faced twig of a guy who followed her around like some lost puppy. I wouldn't want me either.

But I beefed up senior year. I had just about every girl on my tail when I got to school after the summer of my junior year. I was more popular than most kids and it happened so quickly. Maggie became distant for a while in the beginning. When I asked her about it she admitted she was jealous that I didn't have much time for her anymore. I, of course, wanted to tell her that she could have my time for the rest of her life (and I swear I would've gotten on bended knee), but opted to apologize and squeeze her into every free moment I got.

The fact that I looked better and were making her jealous with my lack of time were both good signs, but the kicker that really got me confident about how she felt was Jennifer. I dated Jenn towards the end of our senior year. She was my first and only girlfriend. Lame as it sounds, I waited on Maggie since I was 12. I told myself every year that she would be my girlfriend and every year that passed, a million opportunities to confess my love went with it. The most I ever did with another woman was kiss and that was a dare back in seventh grade when a couple of the neighborhood kids went down to the lake one night. James Warrington dared me to kiss Patricia Green. I was so disappointed. I was hoping and praying that he'd call Maggie out, but later on in tenth grade Maggie and him got together and I knew why he didn't dare anybody to do anything with Maggie that night.

I had been so devestated when she told me she had a boyfriend. I was devestated every time she had a boyfriend. Which was frequent. Maggie wasn't a whore or anything. She'd just get so bored so easily. She never grew tired of me though. I wanted to tell her that, but I was such a wimp and had nearly given up all hope on ever being with her. Maggie was a bold girl and could have any guy if she wanted. This meant that if she wasn't coming for me, she wasn't interested. It took til senior year to figure this out, which is why I finally caved in and tried to date another girl. Jenn and I were together for only three months, but she had always had this mini crush on me since seventh grade. I never understood why, she was a cute girl and could've done better. Besides, it was blatantly obvious that Maggie was my main agenda.

Another problem was that Maggie hated Jenn's every move since we were younger. I swear, if looks could kill... I'd ask her why she was so mad and she'd just shrug me off and mumble 'whatever'. That's when my hope shot up again when she got jealous once we started dating. I thought that I'd just date Jenn until Maggie confessed her love for me. My plan had failed miserably once the third month rolled around because Jenn thought I was 'moving too slow'. I guess I was. I didn't know what the hell I was doing whenever I was with her. I tried to act like I did and apparently she couldn't tell the difference because she'd practically try and rape me whenever we fooled around.

Jennifer didn't know that I was completely inexperienced, and happily so. I was saving myself. Maggie and I were waiting. She told me she wanted to be married and I told her the same. It was a partial lie. I was honestly just waiting for her, but if marriage is what it took, I'd gladly wait for that. However, I was hoping that tonight would be the night because tonight would be the night that Maggie Waters knows that I'm in love with her.

I had a dozen white roses (her favorite) and a shitload of condoms. There was a tiny bottle of lube in my pocket as well. I figured that once I told her how much she meant and how long I've waited, that she'd jump right on me. Trace cheered me on, the only one who knows about my love, and provided the condoms and lube since I was too embarrassed to buy them myself. He gave me some tips and told me about some moves that seemed complicated and painful. I kinda shrugged them off. Maggie and I were both virgins, so she wouldn't know if I sucked or not anyway. Besides, we were best friends. It would be fun... I had to take a deep breath to calm myself. The thought of Maggie naked... I had seen her underwear a few times whenever she'd sleep over and my t-shirt hiked up in the middle of the night. I only stole glances because I felt like such a pervert in the morning. Oh, and once I walked in on her changing and caught a glimpse of nipple before she covered herself with her hands and yelled at me to get out. I still jerk off to that little pink nipple almost every night.

That was besides the point. I had a mint in my mouth, flowers in my hands, and a pep in my step as I hopped up her stairs and rung the doorbell. She was alone because her parents were at my house, celebrating our graduation with wine. It was just an excuse for them to drink once nine o'clock hit. Maggie was there, but she left and said she was tired. An hour later, I told everybody I was going to hang with Maggie. It was all brushed off as the usual since Maggie and I were rarely apart, but if my mother knew my real plans, she'd -

Actually, my mother would've pushed me to go and bought me condoms herself. She was waiting just as long as I had for Maggie and I to get together. It was literally her dream to have us give her grandbabies. She knew that nobody made me happier and that I only chose to go to NYU with Maggie just so I could be with her. I was a hometown boy. I knew nothing about the city and would've been content with community college, but Maggie had always had dreams of New York and doing something 'bigger' with her life. It didn't surprise me. She had come here from New Jersey and from city life to country life was a huge change she never quite adjusted to. I could adjust to it though, so long as I had her every day.

"Hey," Maggie smiled brightly as she swung the door open, "I was wondering if you were ever gonna show." Like I wouldn't show. I've never stood Maggie up for anything. If she called and said lets go to the store, I'd run down the next two blocks and be waiting on her porch breathless two minutes later. She was too beautiful to pass up. Her hair wasn't long like it had been in at 12. She cut it up to her shoulders. It was still nice and shiny, like her big green eyes all surrounded with dark long lashes. I glanced over her body as she stood aside to allow me in. Her long legs were toned from years of Volleyball and the shorts she wore stopped at her thigh to reveal them. She wore a baby t-shirt that showed a slither of her belly and my tongue wanted to taste the skin it showed before I cleared my throat and walked further into her parents' living room.

"These are for you," I said, handing her the bonquet. She smiled brightly and sniffed them.

"Oh, thank you!" she gushed, kissing my cheek and turning to walk towards the kitchen. "I'm gonna put these in water." I watched her ass sway as she headed towards the kitchen until she disappeared behind the door. I sighed and breathed, going over my words over and over in my mind. I wiped the sweat from my palms onto my jeans before turning towards a mirror on the wall of her living room and checking my reflection. My heart was pounding so loud that I thought I could hear it over the television playing in the background. It only got worse when Maggie came skipping into the living area again with a vase of roses.

"You're really excited today," I teased as she made a spot for her flowers on the coffee table.

"I'm really happy to be getting out of this town come August," she told me, standing up straight to observe the placing of the vase. She moved it a centimeter before smiling proudly and turning to me. The girl had some type of OCD, I swear. "Not only do I get to go to New York, but I'm taking you with me. It's gonna be awesome, Jay!"

"Yeah," I agreed, "But Mags, I was hoping I could talk to you tonight." My heart was definitely audible. I was tempted to place my hand over it to hush the sound.

"I was hoping I could talk to you too," Maggie said softly, her once happy, graceful stance slouched a bit. She looked... nervous.

"What is it?" I asked, grateful to have the light off me for a moment.

"No, you first," she urged on.

"Ladies first," I countered. She groaned and took my hand, her soft skin all warm and slightly moist. Sweat or water from the flowers? I couldn't tell. Maggie was rarely ever nervous about anything. I can remember her being nervous when she had to sing a solo in the church choir when we were younger. I also remember how nervous she was during her volleyball championship this year. Other than that, Maggie was fearless.

She led us to her plush sofa and sat us down before grabbing the remote and turning off the television. Silence. This was serious. If Maggie needed quiet to talk to me, it was something deep she needed to say. Just like the time she came and told me her parents were getting divorced our sophomore year. She was devestated when her mother moved away to Florida to be with the guy she met while on a business trip. I got to hold her for the whole night and talk about divorce since my parents had called it quits when I was 11. We only got closer after that.

"God, I'm so nervous," Maggie confessed after a moment. She was staring at me directly, her eyes hopeful and scared. She was idly playing with my fingers and I was trying to be patient.

"It's just me, Mags," I reminded, "You can tell me anything."

"I know, I know," she sighed, "But this is so different. I don't know how you're going to react."

"How is this different?" I asked nervously.

"Because I've been keeping this from you and I couldn't even tell Trace because I knew he'd tell you." Oh god... I knew it!

"Maggie, whatever it is, you can let me know," I said excitedly, "I want to know."

"I don't know how you're going feel," she said warily, "I don't want to lose your friendship."

"You won't," I assured, "Maggie, we'll get closer. We'll be so much closer." I was trying not to burst with joy, but I couldn't help it. I was practically squirming in my seat.

"You're my closest friend," she told me, "And I trust you completely."

"I feel the same," I told her softly, taking her hands fully, "Just tell me." God, please say it! My heart was ready to burst.

"I was trying to keep this to myself as long as possible, but you started dating Jennifer and I knew that I couldn't keep it in. You knew something was up. I got all distant, so I guess I made it obvious."

"It's okay," I said, "I wasn't sure about why you were acting like that. I just wanted you to tell me yourself if you felt some type of way..."

"I know and I owe you that much honesty," she agreed, "I'm sorry for waiting this long to tell you, but I wasn't sure and I kept getting so scared..."

"It's okay," I assured, taking her cheeks in my hands. I stared deeply into her eyes. "Maggie, you don't ever need to be scared. I love you and I'll always love you." My heart breathed a sigh of relief and Maggie smiled as she placed her hands over mine, giving me a gentle caress.

"I know you love me and that's why I can tell you this," she said softly. I was confused.

"Mag-"

"Wait, let me just say it," she said with a nervous laugh, "I don't know if I'll ever be able to say this outloud again." I was further confused. "Justin, I'm a liar. A phony... I never hated Jennifer at all."

"I figured that much," I said, "You never really spoke to her."

"Yeah, but I spoke to her enough," she said, "Which is why I got so mad when you were dating her... I was so jealous... I was so mad that of all the girls, you'd choose her."

"Wait... what?" Now, I was officially confused, "Why not her? Why does it matter what girl I choose? I thought you were just mad that I wasn't balancing my time." Maggie shook her head.

"Justin... I really liked Jenn," Maggie said and I shrugged.

"I don't get it," I said, "If you liked her, it shouldn't have been problem. Did you want to be her friend or something too?" I really couldn't see what she was getting at here. If she liked Jenn, we all could've just been friends together.

"You don't get it," Maggie said, growing frustrated.

"Stop being so cryptic and just tell me what the hell you're talking about." Maggie let out a sigh. She looked up at me and took my face between her tiny, moist, warm hands.

"Justin, I really liked Jenn." She held my gaze and I held hers. I replayed her words in my mind. I really liked Jenn... I really liked Jenn... I really -

My hands dropped from her face and I stared at her in disbelief. "But...but she's a... girl." I stared at my best friend and for the first time, I didn't know what I was seeing as it hit me suddenly.

"I know, but that's what I'm trying to say... I crush on girls... All the time," she sighed, "I try not to. I know it's wrong to everybody, but I can't help it. I always kinda knew... I mean, I couldn't keep a guy around too long ever. They always bored me and it was never really all that comfortable fooling around with one. I figured that I just didn't find the right one yet.... Jenn was always so... cute to me. I wanted to be her friend, but I couldn't find a way to talk to her. I always got so nervous around her and I couldn't figure it out. I was secretly jealous when I heard she liked you back in seventh grade, so I pretended that I hated her so that I wouldn't look jealous and sad. I wanted her to like me so badly though, but I didn't think want to think it was like that. I told myself I wanted to be her friend. But when y'all got together... I didn't know what to do. Watching you kiss her and hold her hand... I wanted to be able to do that."

I shook my head as her words flowed through my ears. I couldn't believe what she was saying. I couldn't believe that she was telling me this after so many years of friendships. "Maggie...Oh, Maggie, Maggie, Maggie..." I couldn't say much else. I felt myself bouncing my leg up and down. I couldn't be still. My heart was screaming. Was it suppose to hurt this bad? Was I having a heart attack?

"Justin, this is really hard for me," she said, "I didn't want to be like this, but it's who I am. I'm leaving this town and I'm getting a clean slate. I don't need anybody judging me. I don't have to worry about the nosey neighbors, spreading rumors... I can just be myself once I'm gone. I can just be...gay." She just shrugged defeatedly like there really was nothing she could do. I knew there wasn't anything she could do, but I stood from the couch and covered my ears with my hands. I didn't hear that. I did not want to hear any of that. I paced the room, feeling my stomaching tightening and my head clouding up. I didn't feel normal at all. I felt so sick. I was so sad and I was so angry.

"You can't be gay!" I yelled, making her jump back, "Maggie, I'm in love with you!" Her eyes grew ten times bigger than normal and I saw the genuine shock in them. The woman had to be blind. Half the town knew I loved her and she was acting like she wasn't expecting it at all.

"Justin..." she breathed, "Oh my god, I didn't know! I... I'm sorry." My crushed heart plummeted to the depths of my stomach and burned to ashes. My insides were all around and my head was spinning.

"I think I need to go," I said, feeling the prickle of tears in my eyes. The last thing I needed to do was cry in front of the gay best friend I'm in love with.

"Justin, don't leave," she pleaded, "I love you too! I swear, if I didn't feel this way, I'd love to be with you."

"That's not helping," I told her, heading for her door. She grabbed my arm and I snatched it away. I didn't need to turn around to know she was crying now. Maggie wasn't big on tears, but the sniffle that escaped her button nose was an obvious sign.

"Jay..." she whimpered, the sadness evident in her tone, "Please don't leave me right now. You're the only one who knows..." The best friend in me knew to turn around and hold her as tightly as possible and assure her that things would be fine, but the man in me... The broken hearted fool of a man in me, was too prideful to face the biggest mistake of his life.

"I'll see you around, Mags." I let myself out and shut the door behind me just as her sobs hit my ears.