You Get Me Through

By Mel

I walk lightly down the hotel hallway, anxious to get to the right room. I’m counting the numbers displayed on the doors, getting closer to the right one. I figured this feeling would have faded out by now but it hasn’t. If anything, I look forward to these days, these moments. It’s almost as if my soul anticipates when I’m going to see her, knowing that in a short time, everything will all make sense. I’ll get some time to breathe, some time to not have a camera shoved in my face, be asked a million and fifty two questions, not have to sing, no nothing. I just get to be Justin.

I finally make it to the right room, marked 702 as I place a light knock on the door. I know she’s waiting for me so it’s not long before it swings open and she’s standing there, smiling brightly back at me. I carefully look down the empty hallway, making sure some spastic fan hasn’t followed me and am relieved to see it’s clear. I make my way into the hotel room and close the door behind me and it’s not even three seconds before her arms are wrapped around me and the soft, feminine scent of her envelopes my senses. She feels good in my arms and I use the opportunity to wrap my own around her frame, letting it all soak in. I’ve waited a long time for his.

We don’t pull away right away, instead, we stay like this for a few moments and I feel her arms tighten a little around my neck and I do the same to her waist. She seriously feels too good to let go. I take some time, savoring this moment, making a mental memory to keep inside my head for when I’m away, back to real life and she can’t be here to make it better. Like I said, these moments are few and far between.

She finally pulls away and my hands slide off her waist but I catch one of her hands in mine, linking our pinkies together and holding on. She smiles again back at me and we walk further into the room, where I kick off my shoes before taking a seat on the small sofa in the make shift living room and already I’m feeling better.

We settle into a comfortable silence as she lays back on the pillows, rolling to her side and holding her arms out for me to join her. I move my body, half on my stomach and half on my side as I drape myself over her, head coming to rest on her shoulder. Her hands immediately go to my hair, gently scratching my scalp and there’s nothing I can do to suppress the moan that escapes deep from my throat. This feels like heaven already. She giggles easily and just the sound of her voice has me grinning up at her. Her hands leave my head before making their way down to my neck and shoulders, where her fingers start massaging my sore muscles. I don’t know how she knows, but she’s always on top of what I need. My eyes slide shut as I let my body get lost in the talent of her hands.

“Feel good?” she says softly.

“Mmmhmm.” I moan, my voice mumbled by her chest.

She laughs as my voice vibrates against her skin but she continues.

“You doing okay?”

I nod, not saying much of anything because she knows what it’s like. We’ve been through these conversations night after night and for once I don’t want to reminisce on the drama that is known as my life. She understands and not knowing every current aspect is fine with her because she’s here to get me through, not to pry.

I could sit here and bitch about how I’m sick and tired of doing photo shoot after photo shoot, having to smile my ass off and pretend like I’m fine with everything. I could tell her about how for the last three weeks, every night of my life is spent dancing and singing on stage for millions of screaming fans and even though I do love making music, it gets so old fast. I could mention all of the interviews I do, and how I roll my eyes as I get asked who I’m sleeping with, who my current girlfriend is and if we’re getting married soon. I could also tell you, not her that she is not my girlfriend.

My girlfriend is overseas right now, shooting a movie.

Don’t sit there and think that I’m cheating on her because I’m not. This has nothing to do with sex.

You see, having a girlfriend is still tied to all of the drama that’s known as my everyday life. She’s in the business to so she obviously has her own. She’s been with me through mine so when it all ties together, it’s like one big giant ball of stress. As much as I love her, she can’t give me what I’m getting right this second. Right now, I’m just Justin. Not Justin Timberlake, singer, actor, fashion extraordinaire, and without a doubt not Justin Timberlake, the worlds best boyfriend.

Because I will tell you that I’m not. I can be an ass hole and I’m so far from perfect that sometimes it’s not even funny. I will say I try to be the best I can be and love my girlfriend with all of my heart but this has nothing to do with her.

Yes, back to the other her. The one who’s got amazing fingers, about to lull me to sleep.

Her hands are now working their way to my back, and as small and skinny as her fingers are, they sure feel amazing against my muscles. She knows the right pressure to use, the right rhythm to keep and exactly where to go when I need it. It’s pretty ironic that she instinctively knows that I needed this because I must have slept wrong last night and my back has been killing me ever since. I swear I didn’t even tell her either.

I try not to think about the busy schedule I have ahead of me for the rest of the week and do my best to push it out of my head because right now is not the time or the place. Right now is my time to be me.

“Did you die on me, Just?”

I laugh softly at her concern but I’ve been still for the last fifteen minutes, my eyes closed, breathing slowly.

“Yes. Just enjoying.”

“Good.” she says before continuing on.

Twenty minutes later, I finally realize she’s stopped her actions and I must have dozed off. I pry my eyes open, looking up at her smiling face and she’s just watching me. My body already feels loose and well rested in just that short amount of time and I know it’s all because of her. Now I know you’re thinking I could get a ‘professional’ massage from whomever I please but this is completely different on so many levels.

“You can stretch out on the bed and we can order a movie if you want.”

I nod, sitting up as she does the same. I take a moment to raise my hands over my head, stretching a little as my shirt rides up over my stomach. I see her eyeing me and I raise my eye at her in question but I know that I can’t keep a straight face and instantly burst into a laugh.

I walk up to her, hands around her waist and I pull her tightly against me again but put enough distance so that I can see her face, my nose scrunching up goofily as our foreheads touch. She’s already laughing at my silly antics and it takes me a second not to crack a joke.

“I’m glad you’re here. I’ve missed you.” I say softy, meaning it.

My statement surprises her a little bit but touches her all at the same time. “You needed me. That’s why I’m here.”

I don’t know what I did to deserve someone like her in my life but I’m thankful I found her. She’s not like other girls. She doesn’t attack my body, begging me for sex or throw her own in front of me, teasing and waiting with want. It’s all simple and drama free. No strings, no questions. Yes we touch, and I’ve even kissed her a few times, just small pecks and tiny busses,  but  it’s never gone further then that. It’s all about comfort and the carefree closeness she gives me.  

“You’re amazing, you know that?” I ask, tucking a strand of her curly brown hair behind her ear.

Her eyelashes blink prettily at me. “Why little ol’ me? I’ve waited so long for you to say those words to me, Justin Timberlake.” She mocks.

“Oh that’s it.” I say eyeing her. She pulls away once she sees mischief in my eyes and begins running towards the bed.

Her laughter echoes through the hotel room as I finally catch her as she runs around the bed, trying to escape me. Once I catch her, I toss her carefully on to the bed, my laughter mixing in with hers and straddle her body.  She looks up at me, chest heaving heavily as I hold her arms at her sides. I let go of one, fingers digging into her stomach and tickling her. Her giggles instantly erupt again as she moves from side to side, trying to escape my grasp on her.

“Uncle.” she calls out, trying to break free, using her one arm to try and push me off of her.

I finally give in, stopping my actions but not moving off of her.

“That was just cruel.” I say.

She rolls her eyes a little, arms crossing over her chest because she’s mad she was defeated. “What did I do? I was feeding your ego, you silly boy.”

I give her a half grin, hand reaching down to move her hair from her eyes so she can see. “Uh huh. I bet you were.”

She looks at me innocently before I feel her shove against my chest and in an instant, I’m on my back, now looking up at her sitting in my lap. I look up at her, stunned.

“It’s not nice to doubt me, Just.”

“I never do, sweetheart.” I tell her, because really I never have.

You see, she always knows exactly what to say to me to make sense of things. And then there are times when I don’t want to speak about work or anything else so I’ll listen to her tell me about her life. She’s been through a lot in such a short time. We’re about the same age but the difference between her life and mine is that she hasn’t lived hers in front of a microscope.

She’s just a normal woman, from a small down in the south and she works, has friends and a family and her own place and lives a pretty normal life. That’s the one thing I need in mine-- normalcy.

I wonder at times what I’d be like if I had never joined MMC and stayed at home, went to college and married some typical girl. I think about coming home from a nine to five job everyday and having my kids attack me with hugs and kisses and greeting my wife in between her making dinner for all of us.

Now she’s not married but she’s had boyfriends before but they’ve never treated her right and in some ways, it hurts me. She’s gorgeous, talented, sweet, loving. I can’t understand what guy wouldn’t want to be with her. I’d be lying if I said I’ve never thought about what it’d be like to take things a little further with her but I care about her too much to do that. I refuse to be that guy who can’t be there for her like she needs, and love her like she deserves. Basically, I can’t be there for her like she is for me. In so many ways, it’s all one big giant ball of unfair.

I don’t know how she does it, other then the fact that she has a pretty mobile career as a writer but all I have to do is call her and she’s here. Thankfully, after a pretty stressful week on tour, we happened to be a few states away from her and I called her spending about two hours complaining about this and that until she promised me she’d have a room at the next hotel stop. I didn’t even have to beg. She just knew. I swear, it’s a gift of hers.

Anyways, back to the now.

She’s looking down at me, playfulness etched all over her porcelain features as I anticipate her next move. She finally relents, hands on her hips.

“What do you want to do?”

“You’re doing it.”

She looks at my questioningly, trying to keep a straight face. “You want me to straddle you?”

I let out a small gust of laughter. “Well now that you mention it..”

Her eyes roll, knowing I’m joking. “Whatever, Justin.”

I look up at her, face somber and serious as my hands go to the exposed flesh of her tanned legs. Her eyes trail to my hands and suddenly she’s silent, smile no longer there.

“You know you’re gorgeous, so stop it.”

She shrugs a little, brushing off my statement. “If you say so. Do want to watch a movie still or what? I could order a pizza.”  she says, climbing off of me.

I sit up, upset that she‘s just brushing this off. I feel this strong urge to make sure she knows exactly what I was getting at. She’s standing in front of the TV, fiddling around with the remote and viewing the pay-per-view movies the hotel provides. I grab the remote from her hands easily, tossing it to the bed across the room. She turns to look at me, question looming large.

“You don’t want to watch a movie?” she asks.

I shake my head, taking a step closer to her. “Nope. Not right now.”

She looks around the room nervously. “Okay..”

I take another step closer. “You need to know something. First of all, you are beautiful. I don’t want you to ever doubt yourself again. You have to be one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met. You care for people, you’re paitient, you’re kind, you’re sensitive, sexy, sophisticated. You listen to people with not only your ears but with your heart. You give honest, helpful advice. You’re the entire package. You’ve got the softest hair I’ve ever felt in my life and don’t tell my girlfriend this but you’re body is amazing. Any guy would be lucky to be with you, to wake up with you in their arms every morning.”

She’s standing there, lip nervously between her teeth. Any normal girl I’d expect to maybe burst into tears, maybe even come at me with some kind of sexual ploy but not her. I can see that deep down, she’s a little surprised but touched at the same time.

“Thank you.” she says, her voice cracking a little bit.

“You’re welcome. Don’t forget it.” I say placing a small kiss on her cheeke. “Now, how about that movie?”

She smiles a little, going back to the bed and reaching for the remote.

I take this opportunity to plop back down on the middle of the large king size bed, leaning against the head of it and adjusting the several pillows to make myself comfortable. She brigns up the movie menu, handing me the remote to choose. I frown as she takes a seat at the edge of the bed on the farthest side of me.

“Why are you so far away?” I ask.

She shrugs a little. “I don’t know.”

I laugh, missing her being close to me already. “Well come over here. I’m not going to bite you.”

She slowly scoots across the bed until shes beside me as I finally pick a movie as the opening credits start up. I slide down on the bed so I’m laying down, head propped up on the pillows as I pull her against me, her back to my chest, my arms wrapping around hers. I feel her instantly relax as a soft sigh escapes her lips. Her hands go over my arms, holding me too and I know that all of her insecurities are gone.

That’s the thing I love about her. If only just for a little bit, I don’t have to worry about who I am. I can pretend that maybe I’m just a normal guy and that to me is a beautiful thing. I feel like maybe I’m meeting up with a friend, perhaps a love interest and I’m just fine with the closeness and the lack of drama and stress in the air. If I wanted to vent about the shit that went on this week, I know she’d listen to every word I said, making her own comments as I went along, making me laugh at her snide remarks or nod in approval at the words of wisdom she chose to give me. It may not be the most recreational away to go about things but I’ve come to realize that nothing in this world is perfect.

As much as I hate some of the things that come along with my career, she always remindes me of the all of the good. The wonderful things too. There are times where I find myself feeling a little guilty for this, for spending random moments with her in different hotel rooms, different cities, and the fact that she will just drop whatever she has to be with me. Then there are moments like these when we’re wrapped up in each other, watching a movie with no conversation needed and that’s when I know that this doesn’t just mean a lot to me, but to her also.

Somewhere along the road, our paths crossed and I believe that she was sent to me to get me through this crazy thing we call life and I was sent to her for reasons that only she knows. One day I’m determined to find out exactly what those reasons are even though I’m pretty sure I know.

Because I know as much as she helps heal me, I think I help heal her too. 

It's been one of the most stressful months of my life. Back to back shows, repeating the same process every night, dancing singing, dancing singing. I've also been helping other artists produce songs on the side too so whatever free time I can squeeze in on my off days from the tour, I'm cooped up inside a studio. My body aches, my eyes are always heavy and I swear one of these nights I'm going to fall asleep on stage during one of my slow songs. Tonight is just another moment of the same process as I come off stage, dripping with sweat and peeling off my clothes. My mind has been on nothing but finding my way to my bed the moment my feet hit the tour buss. We've got a long drive for the next day and a half and I have every intention of using it to sleep my ass off. Once I reach my dressing room, I quickly shower, and nod politely and pass small ‘hello's' and ‘good-nights' to the members of the crew and dancers that are scattered out aimlessly around the arena.

Normally, my body would be on an endorphin high and I wouldn't be able to sleep. Instead I'd stay up bullshitting with my dancers or part of my crew and end up for half of the night. Tonight that's not the case. I set my backpack down on the leather couch of the buss, kicking off my tennis shoes and making my way to the back of the buss to my bedroom. I begin peeling off my clothes until I'm left in the comfort of my boxers and throw myself down lazily, pulling the covers up around me. My eyes are heavy and I can feel myself slowly sinking into the mattress, easily getting used to the feeling of being still. I'm just about ready to drift off into the land of unconsciousness when my phone I tossed on the night stand starts to ring loudly, waking me from the brink of slumber. I sigh in frustration, reaching for the stupid device while answering it, still half awake.

"Hello?" I breathe into the phone.

I swallow any rude remarks as the sound of my girlfriends voice comes floating through my ears. It's been a while since we've talked and I've missed her. She fills me in on what she's been up to with filming some movie she's staring in, about all the amazing people she's met and how beautiful the weather is wherever she's at. By now, I'm half asleep from listening to her go on and on about something that happened on set the other day with so and so and I swear she doesn't stop talking for a least thirty minutes before she finally asks me how the tour's been going. I'm already on edge, wanting nothing more than to just pretend we got disconnected and toss my phone across the room and finally go to sleep but I know I'm better than that. I love her. It's good to hear her voice.

I let her know it's going well and that the fans are eating it up every night and almost every show has been sold out. I tell her about the artists I've been working with and the plans I'm making for the coming year. It's not long before she interrupts me, which I absolutely hate by the way, but instead of reminding her, I lay my phone on ear, carefully rolling to my side and shutting my eyes. I try to add my share of ‘uh huh' and ‘oh that's cool' every now and then to make her think I'm paying attention but really, sleep is the only thing on my mind now. I have no idea how much time has actually passed until I hear her repeating my name over and over again.

"Justin? Are you even listening to me?"

I try to play this cool. "Yeah, I'm here babe. I'm just.. I'm really tired that's all."

"Well if you didn't want to talk, you should have said something." She snides back.

I sigh, in no mood to argue with her. Especially when she's how many billion miles away from me. I hate arguing. I try to avoid it at all costs. It's honestly so pointless with her.

"Babe, stop it. I'm just really tired. We've been doing the show every night for an entire week. I'm just wiped out."

I wait a second for her to respond, almost holding my breath, hoping she doesn't lash out.

"Well then I guess I'll just let you go. Call me back when it's convenient for you Justin."

I roll my eyes even though she can't see me because really, she can be so gullible sometimes.

"Steph, don't be like this. You know I love yo-," But I don't even get the chance to respond because she's already hung up on me. I pull my phone back, starting at it bewildered. I can't believe she hung up on me. It's definitely not the first time but damn. All because I didn't listen to her ramble on and on about some shit that was nowhere relevant to me.

I wonder how long this is going to continue like this- our conversations short and focused mainly on her. I guess it's too much to ask for my girlfriend to understand that I'm exhausted and just want to sleep. We had discussed her coming out onto the tour for a few days but I'm sure that will just be a blast, if it even happens and if not, I'll have to listen to her complain about how I'm not making and effort to see her. Ugh, this night just keeps getting better and better.

It's been over a month since I've seen her and a while since we've talked last and she has to choose now to let her ‘better' sides come out. I tell myself that distance doesn't make this relationship any better at all because well, honestly it doesn't. It's really freaking hard sometimes. I do miss having her beside me when I go to sleep at night, waking up to her every morning, making love to her, having her face across the table at breakfast and just being with her. It's a rare moment for us when things are sane though. She's always off working on some new project and well, the same goes for me. Our relationship hasn't always been the best but we make it work somehow, without tonight being counted into the mix. Tonight was just typical.

I roll over on my back, one hand sliding over my face and I close my eyes. I just need to forget about all of this. All I want to do is sleep. Sleep.. now..please. I'm still for about fifty seconds before someone raps on door, once again waking me from my almost sleep.

"Yo J, you awake?"

I pull the covers off myself about ready to blow a fuse only to open the door to see my driver Zach standing there.

"What's up?" I ask, biting my lip.

"Looks like we got a flat tire. If they can't fix it by tonight we might have to switch buses."

Are you freaking kidding me?

"Damn. Is that going to affect the schedule?" I ask, mentally hoping they can fix the damn tire.

"I hope not. They're trying to get a new one now. I was just letting you know in case. It'll have to be a pretty quick switch though if we can't."

"Okay, thank for letting me know. Keep me posted. I'm gonna go try to catch some Z's while I can though, alright?" I say, hoping he'll just leave.

"Got it." He says, and with that he walks away. Ah! Finally.

I resume my spot on my bed reaching to turn my phone down to low. God for bid I turn the damn thing off and someone try to get a hold of me and I not answer, they'd probably send out a fucking search party. I shut the light off above the bed and am confident that this time, I might actually fall into the state of oblivion.

Yes sweet sleep.

I roll over for what feels like the hundredth time looking at the small alarm clock on the bedside stand. I've been laying here for forty-five minutes and I'm still not asleep yet. I know I'm tired, exhausted for Pete sake but here I am, still conscience. My mind is on overload and I wish like hell that it would just shut up. I prop myself up on the pillows more, running a hand tiredly though my hair. I sigh, reaching for my phone, making sure I haven't missed anything. I scroll through my contacts knowing exactly who my fingers will land on and don't even hesitate to press the send button.

I mentally scan my memory, wondering where she told me she'd be this week. My thoughts are quickly forgotten as a soft voice picks up the phone.

"Hello?" She asks, her voice light and sleepy.

"Hey you. Did I wake you up?"

I can hear her yawn and a smile forms on my lips instantly.

"Mmm. I was watching a movie and I guess I dozed off. What's up Just?"

I don't know why but I love it when she calls me that. I actually get annoyed when someone else tries to do it because it's her thing. I'm weird like that but it means something to me coming from her and only her. It's comforting to me somehow.

"I'm tired as hell and can't for the life of me fall asleep. I was just seeing what you were up to."

"Ugh, that's the most annoying thing. Have you tried counting sheep?" She says, snickering quieltly.

I chuckle. "Actually I have. It didn't work for shit."

"Well dangit. Uh warm milk, sleeping pills?"

"Not really accessible on the bus babe." I tell her but I know if I really needed it, I'd find a way to get it. Yeah, I'm a cocky ass like that.

"Oh I didn't know you were on the bus. Everything on the tour going okay so far?"

I know it sounds silly, but that right there, having her ask the simplest things means so damn much to me. I love how she doesn't press the issue, asking if there is more to my insomnia. She doesn't ask about Steph, knowing that 99% of the time, she's reason for my bad mood. I smile even bigger, just like I always do when I talk to her. She doesn't interrupt me and go on into some pointless story that I didn't ask to hear. She's just simple, carefree. It's one of the many things I love about her.

"It's been pretty good. Most of the shows have been sold out and I've been producing in my non-existent free time. Busy but good. I'm basically a working robot."

She laughs softly again. "Justin Timberlake? Never." She knows me all too well.

"Yeah yeah. So how's work?"

"Good. Things have been pretty light lately. I'm enjoying being able to breathe after last month."

"And you, yourself?" I urge.

"I'm fine, Justin." She says, not dishing out anything else.

"You promise?"

"Yes, I promise. Cross my heart."

I laugh. "Good. You better be."

"Yeah yeah," she mocks me. "are you getting tired yet?"

I roll over on my side again, trying to get comfortable.

"Not really. I enjoy talking to you."

"That's sweet Just, but don't you think you need sleep?" She's always looking out for me.

"Trust me. I've tried. I'm just.. I don't know what I am."

"You just need a good massage or something."

My eyes perk up. "Are you offering?" I ask because she honestly gives the best damn back massages. What I'd give to have one right now.

"Next time I visit, you got it."

I try to remember the states we'll be in this week.

"When's that Carebear?"

She's silent for a second. "When do you want me there Justin?"

Her voice is cool and calm, not like she feels obligated to come to me. She never makes me feel like that.

"Whenever it's good for you, babe. I think we'll be in Virginia by tomorrow morning."

"If you need me Justin, I'll get there."

I'm silent for a second, biting my lip to keep from answering right away and seeming so desperate. I should feel guilty about this but I honestly don't. My girlfriend knows she exists, knows that we're close friends but that's pretty much the extent of it. I don't think she'd take to kindly if she knew about her frequent visits. I think back to our earlier conversation and how lovely that ended and I don't waste another beat giving her my answer.

"I do. It'd mean a lot to me."

"Okay. I'll have to check for a flight in a little bit but I'll let you know, okay?"

"Don't be silly. I can book you a flight." I tell her because she's coming out here for me. Why should she have to pay?

"Justin, I'm a big girl. I can book my own flight."

I sigh. We've been through this same conversation plenty of times before.

"I know you're a big girl Caroline. Just let me do this for you okay?"

She lets out a small sigh and I know I've won her over.

"Okay fine. But don't book me a damn first class ticket again. I don't need all that."

"Girl, everyone deserves the first class experience. Don't argue." I chide gently.

"Okay, whatever. Just let me know details. Think you can get to sleep now?"

I'm about to protest when a yawn interrupts me and we both laugh together.

"I think it's a possibility."

"Good. See you soon Justin."

"Night Carebear. I'll see you soon. I love you."

"Love you too, Justin. Sleep well."

And with that, I hear the line go dead. A sense of calmness and ease rushes over me as once again toss my phone on the night stand and readjust my covers. Sometimes, all it takes is one person for things to just fall into place.

I take a deep breath, trying to relieve some of the tension in my body as I wait for the elevator to reach the lobby floor. I adjust my purse on my shoulder, tightening my grasp on my suitcase as the doors ding open and I step in side. I retrieve the key that was left for me a the front desk and slide it into the slot by the numbers, allowing me access to the penthouse floor. I lean against the railing, watching the numbers go up and lean my head forward. Elevators always did make me a little dizzy. My body is a little tired from traveling but I take a deep breath, filling my lungs with air and regaining some energy. I'm here for a reason. I'm here because Justin needs me.

The elevator finally meets my destination as I step out, tucking my hair behind my ears, adjusting my luggage and make my way to the end of the dimly lit hallway. I stop in front of one of the five penthouses on this floor and knock easily. It's late so I hope he's still awake. I had intended to come earlier but something came up and not wanting to break my promise, took a later flight.

I'm here though. That's all that matters right?

I get no answer so I knock again, this time a little louder and I ponder the idea of just using the key he left for me but this is still Justin's room. I don't want to interrupt...anything. I'm about to put my key to use when the door slowly swings open and the site that meets me instantly sends pain to my chest.

Justin is standing there, shirtless, in a pair of black basketball shorts, eyes red and puffy, and a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels clutched to his right hand. As good looking as he naturally is, he looks like shit right about now.

He stands back, allowing me entry and I walk in cautiously, looking around the room and making sure that no one else is here. I set my purse and bags down in the small entry way and instantly turn to him but before I can get two words out he's standing in front of me, pulling me into his arms, his hands now empty. I'm slightly overwhelmed by the light woodsy scent that can only belong to Justin, mixed with the distinct whiff of alcohol. His face is buried in my hair, breathing in slowly and I just let him do this for a few minutes.

He said he needed me. Apparently he wasn't lying.

My hands run easily up and down the warm expanse of his back, feeling his skin shiver in the process. Finally it's too much and I pull back a little, meeting his haggard features.

"What's going on Justin?"

He let's out a soft breath of air but he doesn't let go of me. "Everything's just falling to shit Carebear. Everything."

I smile at his very own nick name for me but am aware that he still has yet to answer my question.

"Why don't we start from the top."

He pulls away abruptly and goes into the living room of the suite and grabs a magazine before tossing it at me and throwing himself down on the couch. I look at him curiously. My eyes land on a very clear photo of his girlfriend looking really cozy with another male actor. I don't really read the small paragraph underneath it but I can quickly point out words like ‘fling' and ‘love affair' and don't miss the distinct question at the end of ‘Is her romantic bliss with Timberlake over?'

I bite my lip, carefully going to sit down beside Justin on the couch.

"Just, do you really think she's cheating? You know Steph loves the hell out of you."

He doesn't miss a beat before I hear him scoff, rolling his eyes and looking away from me.

"Wouldn't doubt it." He confesses.

I shake my head. "Justin, this is bull. You know how tabloids are. They can take the most innocent photo and run with it and make up some line of bullshit."

He looks at me, blinking owlishly. "Yeah Care, I know but it's like.. Steph, she's talked about this guy before. I swear every time we talk, she always finds a way to mention him. I get that their friends and everything but that picture looks like a lot more than just friends." He shakes his head, looking at me sadly. "And when I talk to her, she's just... I don't know. She's different."

"When was the last time you saw her?"

"It's been.. like over a month and a half maybe?"

Okay so that's pretty damn long.

"Okay, that's a long time. Is she coming out on tour?"

He looks back at me, his face falling as he reaches for the bottle again, taking a big gulp and wincing a little as the liquid burns down his throat.

"Yeah right. She's been working on a movie. Anything to use as an excuse."

"Hey, you know the business you're in doesn't make it easy."

"No shit."

My eyes widen a little at the sharp tone in his words. He usually keeps his temper at bay around me, thought I can say easily that I've seen him lose his cool plenty of times.

"Have you tried calling her?" I ask, trying to reach for the bottle from him. He doesn't need to get shitfaced. He'll hate himself tomorrow when he has to perform for a hour and a half under blazing hot lights.

"Yeah and like I said.. somethings just off. I just have this feeling..." He trails off, looking around the room.

"Justin.. just trying not to think about if for now okay? Why don't you go lay down, huh? Get some sleep. Maybe you'll feel better in the morning."

I hope he takes this suggestion. Drunk Justin can be a very very bad thing and I honestly don't know if I'm prepared to deal with that right now.

He looks towards the door of what I'm assuming is the bedroom and begins to stand but wobbles and ends up right back on the couch. I laugh slightly, hoping he doesn't hear me as I stand and reach a hand out to him. He takes it quickly, and trying again. His body is heavy as he leans against my five foot seven inch frame. I quickly grab the bottle from him and place on on the wet bar against the wall just to the left of the living room.

In spite of the situation, I'm just a little overwhelmed with the warm heat of him against me and the overwhelming scent that he gives off. He always smells so good and even though I'm helping his strongly buzzed if not drunk self to his bedroom, I can't help but feel safe by it. I laugh softly to myself hoping he doesn't notice.

"What?" He asks, looking at me confused.

I shake my head. "Nothing. It's just that.. you smell good."

He tries to smile a little, amused by it even though it's definitely not the first time he's heard it.

"Thanks. I love it when you tell me that."

I shake my head as we continue our stumbled journey.

We make it to the bedroom thankfully in one piece as I kick the already half open door, and set him on the side of the bed. I pull his arm up and over my shoulders where it was draped around and go to step back but his hand catches mine softly as bloodshot blue eyes look back at me pleadingly.

"Will you stay with me Carebear?" He asks and I hesitate a second before he adds a desperate "Please?" to the question.

I think for a second, knowing very well that there is another bedroom in this room, not to mention that the couch is fine with me but I know what already what my mind is telling me and I know exactly what I'm going to tell him.

"Alright. I just need to go put on something to sleep in."

He still hasn't let go of my hand yet, holding on to it desperately like a life line.

"You can sleep in one of my t-shirts." He tells me nodding to his huge suitcase in the corner of the room.

I give in, walking over to the corner of the room, digging through the massive pile he has. I pull out something that's light blue and disappear into the bathroom thats connected. I quickly pull my tank top and jean shorts from my body, replacing it with his shirt and my senses are hit hard once again when the smell of Justin comes over me. I curse at my reflection in the mirror, knowing that if i were to go get all my crap out of my suitcase to wash my face, it'd add at least another twenty five minutes to his waiting and I don't want to do that. I make my way out of the bathroom only to find Justin rolled to one side, the lights in the room at the dimmest setting. He's got the covers pulled back, waiting for me and look down at the t-shirt I'm wearing and suddenly like I need to add a little to my wardrobe. The shirt hits my thighs but can't help but feel like my body is overly exposed.

I remind myself this is Justin and that I will be fine. He's never crossed that line. He'd never hurt me.

I crawl in slowly as I turn on my side to meet him looking back at me through glassy eyes. He moves closer and I open my arms, allowing him to take up that space. His head is instantly pillowed on my chest as I use the opportunity to run my fingers through his hair. He shivers at the contact like he always does and I don't miss the soft puff of air that escapes his lips. He's starting to relax.

"It's going to be okay, Jus. It'll all blow over. Just try not to think about it."

"I'm trying Caroline. Trust me. I just have this feeling. Something doesn't feel right."

I really have no idea what to tell him because I myself am not sure of this. Stephanie is an interesting person. She's very Hollywood if I were to explain her. There are times when I honestly don't know what Justin sees in her besides her looks. Sure shes gorgeous but shes not like us. She's not from the south, doesn't know how to just let go of drama and enjoy life. I swear with her, it's always something. There are times when I have no idea what Justin sees in her but I never ask him that because I see the way he looks at her. He loves her and if he's happy, that's enough for me.

"You're just thinking way to much into it. Wait until tomorrow morning and call her and straighten it out. You know tabloids love to run with whatever they can get Justin. Don't beat yourself up over a story. She'd have to be crazy to cheat on you in the first place."

He turns his chip up, meeting my eyes with a grin lazily dancing across his lips.

"You really are the best, you know."

I smile back winking at him for good measure as I begin to massage the tight muscles of his shoulders. He lets out a low rumble from deep in the back of his throat and I can feel his body melt into mine with relaxation. We speak quietly for the next fifteen minutes as he asks me about back home, how my family is doing and how things are with work. I'm sure he's desperate to talk about anything to take away the nagging thoughts in his mind and honestly, I don't mind.

We reminisce on times when we were younger, before he made it big and his random trips home to Tennessee for Holidays, when he could find the free time to make it there. He laughs quietly against me, sending a rumble through my chest and I can't help but smile myself, remembering those times and pleased at the same time that he's in a better mood.

Once I'm done with his shoulders, my nails trail down the path of his back, running up and down the expanse of his spine. He shivers instantly but doesn't tell me to stop. I know this relaxes him because he tells me all the time. This thing with him and I could easily be clarified as weird. I don't even know how to put a word on it exactly so I don't really try to define it. With Justin, it simply is what it is. He needs a break from real life, from all the drama, the gossip, to work so I give it to him and he gives whatever it may be to me back just as much.

We just.. I really can't even tell you. We click. We're friends. Close friends. We've been through a lot together. Maybe one day I'll have the courage to clarify all of that.

He turns a little so he's draped halfway over my side, his stomach now against me and the mattress. My hands come to a still at the base of his neck as he looks up at me, eyes still a little red and hazy but he looks... finally relaxed. Better. A lot better than when I opened the door a few hours ago.

He's got this weird look though. One that I can't even really specify. He looks....confused maybe?

"I'm really glad you're here Caroline. I mean really."

I smile and nod. "It's not a big deal Justin. You needed me."

I'm not really prepared as he leans down closer to me, softly busing my forehead before he places a small kiss there. My eyes close instantly, taking in how gentle he is. He pulls back, just studying me for a few moments. I know he's seen all of me, scars and all so my confusion begins to grow as he continues. He doesn't speak, just looking back at me, taking in the features of my face. Normally that would make me uncomfortable but I remind myself that this is Justin.

I'm taken aback when his head dips down again, only this time his lips land on mine, soft and confident. My first reaction is to remind him who he's kissing, to make sure he's sober and aware of what he's doing but then I think back to all of the times where he's kissed me before. Just simple kisses. It's how we show our love for people right? His lips are warm and soft and I can hardly taste the faintest trace of alcohol as he sips at my lips. I expect him to pull away seconds later but am not prepared as he moves back, only to come back down again and this time, his lips linger.

My heart begins to thud loudly at the initial reality of what he's doing and I curse myself for enjoying it but I don't have time to think as he pulls away, rolling off of me and onto his side as he buries his face in my neck, breath fanning against my skin and one of his arms wraps loosely around my waist. I fight away the urge to remind him of what he just did. He's not a cheater, has never been one and I'm wondering why he'd choose now to start. A kiss isn't really cheating, right? We're friends.

No, you see... Justin's always the one that gets cheated on. He knows how bad it hurts. I've seen it in his eyes first hand.

He's nestled up beside me and I use this opportunity to get more comfortable and drape and arm over his back, still feeling my lips tingle from his kiss. I tell myself it meant nothing. He was just showing gratitude. Love for a friend.

It's quiet for a second because I honestly have no idea what to say right now. I can feel his breathing slow down a little as I feel the vibrations in his chest as he speaks quietly against me.

"You know Carebear, sometimes," He trails off a little. "sometimes I wonder why you're so good to me."

As he speaks, I can feel his lips moving ever so slightly against the skin of my neck as I will myself not to react to it. It's not right, this is Justin for pete sake.

I try to smile and think of something to say back to him but in all honesty, I know that he's not the only one who wonders about this because deep down, I know theirs been times where I've questioned it myself. I push the thoughts to the way side as I tighten my grasp on him, closing my eyes and hoping he'll do the same because right now, I don't really want to get into this. I don't want to question it, define it, ask myself why. I just... need some sleep. Yeah, that's it. Sleep.

I feel... like I can breathe today. There's something about waking up next to someone who's got your back no matter what that just eases all the shit going on in my life. I know a few days ago, I was a wreck but having my best friend show up meant the world to me. Caroline has been on tour with me for about three days now and it's been smooth sailing ever since.

All the shit with Steph... well let's just say I'm trying not to think about it. I've talked to her every day since the night after Caroline showed up and she still denies any wrong doing but I've still got that feeling. For now, I try to just brush it off. I'd drive myself crazy if I sat around and worried about it. Which brings me back to the other female in my life, which to some would say is odd. I mean i've introduced her as my best friend from back home to my crew and they all nod along in acceptance but I really don't get their weird ass smiles they give me when I talk about her. Care and I are friends. I don't think she's ever given me the impression that she's looked at me as more than that.

But yeah, I've actually had some time off so we've been spending time shopping, playing video games, basically just shooting the breeze whenever possible. She's been to my shows every night since she's got here and for some reason, her impute and support for what I do goes a long way. Even though she's seen me on stage before, she's always got something new to say, new comments or compliments, random parts she likes better than others. Having her around is a breath of fresh air and honestly, I have no idea what I've done to deserve her.

But moving on from my radome reverie of the past few days. I'm backstage, getting dressed and ready for tonight's show and she's been popping in and out of my dressing room, having been on the phone with her editor taking care of some business.

"You're hair is a little out of place, Timberlake. We might have to cancel the show."

I hear her voice as she walks into the room, blackberry in her hand. I turn and look at her with wide eyes, hand clutched to my chest.

"WHAT? Please tell me you're joking. I cannot leave this room with my hair out of place!" I mock and she laughs.

"We can't have an arena only half full of screaming girls wanting to have your babies."

I laugh and shake my head, as I pull on my dress shirt over the tank top I'm already wearing. I turn to look at her and wink in a cocky manner, feeding our long running joke.

"Baby, you know that'd never happen. The ladies can't get enough of this."

She rolls her eyes back at me and plops down on the couch in the corner of the room.

"It's a good thing I know the real you or else you'd really be a cocky jackass."

I look back at her hurt, sticking my lip out and pouting. "You love me."

She tries to keep a straight face but it eventually breaks into a smile.

"You're right. We still going out tonight after the show?"

"Yeah that's the plan. The guys are really excited your coming." I tell her, pulling on the gray jacket that completes my outfit. We've been talking about it for a few days now and tonight seemed to work the best with scheduling. Nothing pressing is going on this weekend and I think we both could use a night out to just blow off some steam.

She blinks her eyelashes flirtatiously. "Excited about little ol' me?"

Sometimes, she's seriously modest about herself. She's all naturally beauty. Nothing on her is fake, her hair is still the color she was born with and if I haven't stressed it enough, she's got one of the best hearts out there.

"Shut it Carebear. You know you're gorgeous. You just wait and see how many guys are all over you tonight."

She opens her mouth to say something back, probably sarcastic if I were to guess but someone raps on the door letting me know that I've got ten minutes till show time. I take one more glance in the mirror, nodding in approval and smiling as Caroline's face comes into the view of my mirror. I turn around and take in her standing their, arms crossed and dressed in a pair of faded jeans and a black tank top.

"You still got it Jus. Break a leg tonight, okay?"

I smile at her, wrapping her in a big hug and holding her against me. Her arms come apart and I feel them settle on the small of my back. I lean forward, pressing a soft kiss on her forehead and don't miss how her blue eyes slid shut and open back up to look at me. I smile instantly creeps on my lips and I don't know what it is but whenever she's around, I'm always in a good mood. She just has this thing about her...

I swear it's only sixty seconds that goes by but she's got this curious look on her face and I want nothing more than to know what she's thinking.

"What's wrong?"

She shakes her head, as if clearing out the cobwebs from her mind.

"Nothing. You were just.. looking at me funny."

I raise an eyebrow. "Funny?"

"Yeah. Like you were the other night when you asked me to sleep in your bed. You just..got this look on your face and then-..."

She trails off and I'm growing more curious by the second.

"And then what?"

Her face falls and she bites her lip for a second. "Nothing Jus. You better get going."

Okay, so I'm even more curious now.

"No, tell me." I say, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

She takes a deep breath as if she's gotta build up the courage to say it and for some reason I can feel my palms start to sweat. That hands that were on my back have fallen and are now hanging at her sides but I myself haven't moved. Something tells me not to. I try to do a run down of the night she first got here and mentally curse myself, hoping I didn't do or say something in my depressive state. I remember I was drinking but I swear I knew what the hell was going on.

I have a small notion of what she might be referring to but clearly it couldn't be that.

She takes another deep breath and looks up at me through thick eyelashes.

"You ki-."

And right when she gets out the first syllable, my tour manager pops his head inside my door.

"Come on Justin. Show time in five minutes. They're waiting for you."

I nod at him, quietly cursing under my breath as he exits the room. What the hell was she going to say? Whatever it is, it sounds serious and it'd kill me if I did something to fuck up our friendship. She means way to much to me. I try to give her that goofy flirtatious smile that I do that always seems to make her laugh and it doesn't fail me this time. Her hand comes up to my cheek, thumb moving across it smoothly.

"Get going Mr. Pop star. Your fans are waiting."

I nod, already feeling a void as her hand drops from my face. I really want to stay here and talk to her. Curl up together on the couch and figure out what the hell she was going to tell me.

"Tonight." I say, leaning in again and busing her forehead.

She winks at me, trying to look confident and self assured but I know whatever is going through her mind has her thoughts in a whirlwind. I used to be able to read her at the flip of a switch but right now I'm not feeling so confident. She's matured a lot ever the years because she's had to so reading her isn't always that easy anymore. Tonight...tonight I'll get to the bottom of this.

You Get Me Through
Chapter 5.

I move through the dark club, the music so loud that I can feel my feet vibrating against the floor and I pull my hat just a little lower, trying to blend in as well as I can. I'm late, as usual so I had told Caroline and the rest of the crew to just go ahead without me and that I'd meet them later. Stupid bullshit rules and safety procedures about always having security with me. She didn't seem to have a problem with it, just nodding and going with the flow like she always does.

I'm still curious about what happened earlier. So curious that it's been on my mind all night. I'm still trying to rewind the night in my head and I can't think of anything I would have done out the the ordinary. Hopefully I'll get to the bottom of this.

I move towards the VIP area that I had reserved for all of us and greet all of my dancers and crew, happy to to just kick back for a little bit. I look around, not seeing Caroline.

"Have any of you seen Caroline?"

Some of them nod, pointing out towards the dance floor.

"Last I saw her, she was dancing with some guy." One of them tells me.

I nod, grabbing a beer as the waitress comes over to our area and moving my way towards the dance floor. I think twice, wondering if I should just lay low and hang back with everyone else but decide the hell with it. I came here to have a good time with my friends, Caroline included.

I get to the dance floor, closest to the VIP area and to our group, trying to spot her. I find Mike, one of my dancers before I spot anyone else.

I reach for his shoulder, grabbing his attention and asking him loudly over the blaring music if he's seen Caroline. He nods, a smirk on his face as he points to the left of me. There's a girl with long light brown hair, draped loosely over her shoulders. She's wearing a silk black halter top, cut low enough to accent what little cleavage she has. Her jeans are sitting low on her waist and hug in all the right areas. She's got her back against against a guy and his hands are wrapped around her waist. The way she's moving is just screaming seduction.

I stop, swallowing the lump in my throat and gasp in surprise as they turn around, moving closer to me and Caroline's blue eyes gaze back at me hazy. When in the hell? I had now idea it was her.

The only thing I can think that would form somewhat of a sentence is that she-looks-hot. Now Caroline's always been attractive but it's been forever since I've seen her dressed up like this, trying to seduce and accent her real age. Usually she goes for mature trying to gain respect. An uneasy feeling sweeps over me and settles in the pit of my stomach and I know if I admit what I'm feeling, I'll hate myself even more.

I have a girlfriend. No way in hell am I jealous.

I tip back the beer in my hand, hoping to down it quickly and find something else to drink. Suddenly, getting wasted tonight seems more and more appealing.

I can't take my eyes off my best friend and the random guy dancing. They've turned around now so that she's facing him and her arms are around his neck and his are set on her hips, moving dangerously close to her ass. A part of me wants to charge forward and go pull her away from this asshole who thinks he can just grope her on the damn dance floor but I know much worse goes on in places like this. Hell, I'm a guilty participant.

But this is different. This is my best friend. I'm suppose to protect her right?

I gasp, watching as the guy places one of his thighs between her legs, pulling her even closer to him. Her head tips back and then instantly rolls forward to the crook of his neck as his hands finally meet her back side, fingers spread out over her skin.

I fight the slight tingle that runs through my body, or more particularly to the southern region. This is what happens when I don't see my girlfriend for months at a time. I'm human. I'm bound to get turned on by shit like this, right?

I don't even feel my feet move but before I know it, I'm standing in from of Caroline and the random guy as his head pops up, eyes surprised as the guy looks guilty as hell. I almost feel kind of bad for breaking this up. Almost.

"Justin, when did you get here?" She asks, dropping her hands from the guy as he takes a step back.

I tip my beer up to my lips, finishing it. "Just a little bit ago."

"Oh. You get in without any problems?"

I nod. She's always looking out for me.

I look between her and the guy. "You wanna dance?"

She looks at him as if shes honestly indecisive and then back to me as her lips turn up and she smiles.

"Yeah, if you want."

I reach out, grabbing her hand as I pull her into the crowd, not even giving random dance guy a second glance. I take in her outfit once again and can smell the light breeze of her flowery perfume as my hands settle loosely on her hips.

"You look good Carebear."

She smiles back at me, blue eyes dancing. "Thanks."

"I'm really glad we got to come out tonight. It feels good to let loose."

She nods, settling her arms around my neck just as a slow song comes on and it's a little easier to hear. She looks back at me, laughing slightly and leaning in.

"This feels way too much like some kinda jr. high dance."

I smile back at her, taking in all the features of her face, from the odd shade of blue that her eyes are to the perfectly plump texture of her lips.

Shit. Why am I thinking of her lips? Focus Justin. Focus.

"Things were a lot different back then, huh?"

She nods, not meeting my eyes. I shift my hands up higher over her hips, moving up and settling on the sides of her ribs as I pull her closer to me. Her skin is warm and I try to ignore the tiny goosebumps that form on my arms. I move one of my hands to her chin, gently tipping it up to meet my eyes and I grin back at her, leaning in slightly, trying to let her know I'm trying to be serious.

"About earlier in the dressing room..."

She's quick it interject. "You know what, that was nothing. I don't know wh-."

I shake my head. She's not getting out of this.

"Care, you can tell me. It's me."

"I was just over reading something. Really, it's no big deal."

So this is how it's going to be.

I look down at her, making sure I'm looking right into her eyes, trying to be at her level. Trying to understand.

"Did I do something last week? Because if I made you feel-."

"Justin, really. It's not a big deal. You were upset and lonely and I understand."

My eyebrows raise in slight confusion and it's right now that I think I know.

"Is this about when I kissed you?" I ask, swallowing that lump in my throat that has magically reappeared.

She looks away again and I take my hand for the second time, bringing her eyes back to mine. I need to know how she feels about this before I even try to dissect what I was feeling. Or is it why I am feeling. Shit. This could be bad.

"You remember?" She asks, looking confused. I don't know if I should be hurt by this or not.

I pull back a little, getting a full look of her, just to make sure she's really doubting me. The grasp she has on my neck has loosened and I take the opportunity to pull her more tightly against me, refusing to just let her go like this.

I tuck my face in her neck, quickly running my hands up and down her back. I'm taken completely off guard as someone backs into us, causing my nose and lips to smash into her neck. I pull away slowly, not missing the small goosebumps that have formed on her skin. She tries to pull away.

"I think I'm gonna go get a--."

"Caroline. Come back here." I pull her into my arms again before she can move. She's trying to run from me and from whatever this is and for some reason, my mind is telling me not to let her go. Not yet.

This time I reverse our positions, moving her head to my shoulder and I speak right against her ear.

"I remember okay." I don't even realize my voice has taken a soft tone and I swear I can feel her tremble.

Her head moves back quickly and her eyes are wide, almost guilty but she doesn't move. I lean in closer again. Part from the music that's increasing in sound and partly because I can't seem to not be close to her right now. It's weird. I feel like some kind of force is drawing me to her.

I make sure I've got her attention before I go on.

"I remember it wasn't just one of our typical kisses. I just didn't know what to do about it ya know? We're best friends Carebear."

She blinks once, looking back at me stoically. "Right."

I have to be honest here.

"But I'd also like to know why I can't stop thinking about it. And why you were so freaked out to ask me..."

I trail off as I can feel her heart thudding against my own, probably matching the loud beats. I rest my head on her shoulder again, feeling the smooth skin their.

"I--you have a girlfriend Justin. You can't --."

She stutters a little, not really forming a sentence and I can't stop my lips from softly grazing the skin of her neck. I feel her quiver a little and for some reason, this only causes my lips to turn into a smile, still moving.

"I can't what Carebear? I can't find you sexy?" I ask, my lips moving just below her jaw. "I can't find you attractive and amazing like you are?"

I can feel her sinking into my touch and no matter how hard I try or how wrong this is, I can't pull my lips away.

"Justin.." She trails off.

"What? Am I not allowed to feel something for my best friend, hmm? Someone that's always there for me, someone who's always got my back no matter what? Someone that's so gorgeous but she won't even take the time to realize it because she's so afraid of being hurt again?"

My fingers trail to the end of her halter top, tracing just below where it sits against the middle of her back before I feel warm silky skin against my finger tips.

My lips move below her ear, holding still before my tongue darts out and her whole body shivers. "Do you want me to stop?" I ask, waiting for a response, not even realizing I'm holding my breath.

All I hear is a whimpered protest before I feel her fingers at the base of my head, tangling in my hair and holding my head where it is and still she says nothing.

"Caroline." I breath, lightly smudging my lips against her skin, waiting to go any further. "Tell me what you're thinking."

My head is spinning right now, waiting for her to answer. I can feel the warmth of her breath through the thin fabric of my t-shirt before she pulls back a little.

"Justin.." I hear my name against my ear. She has yet to pull away.

I decide to play evil, bringing my mouth back to her neck, moving up to her ear with dry kisses. It's killing me not knowing what she's thinking. I know shes not drunk. Neither am I.

"Tell me." I breath slightly, but not moving any further.

I can feel her resolve melting as her hands drop to my sides, and she grips the bottom of my shirt in her hands, pulling it tight and causing it to bunch up in her hands. "I want you to kis-."

My body tightens as I hear her speak but before she can finish the sentence, I feel someone come up behind me and tap me slowly.

We pull away quickly, as I look back at whoever it is with an irritated gaze to see Mike again looking like he's in a hurry.

"Justin, did you know your girl was coming tonight?" he asks, looking at the distance between Caroline and I.

I'm confused and quick to defend. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Mike uses the hand that's holding a drink to point towards the entrance of the club.

"Stephanie. She's here right now. We just saw her come in."

My mouth immediately goes dry as I look towards the entrance and then back to Caroline as a nervous feeling settles in the pit of my stomach.

Please tell me this is a joke.

You Get Me Through

Chapter 6.

You Get Me Through

Chapter 7

I wonder how many times I’ll have to tell myself this stuff before I actually start to believe it. 

You Get Me Through 

Chapter 8. 

You Get Me Through

Chapter 9.

You Get Me Through

Chapter 10.

You Get Me Through

Chapter 11

My eyes are heavy as I lean back against the seat, glancing out of the window of the plane and watching the clouds roll by. A part of my heart can’t help but push out the feeling of void, something that began the moment I stepped out of the car early this morning and kissed Caroline goodbye.

I finally give in to the heavy feeling, my lashes fanning against my face as I close my eyes to shut out the rest of the world. Sleep will do the trick right? I highly doubt it. While I’m ecstatic to be doing my first big movie, and or at least have a roll in it, I can’t help but think who I’m leaving behind and all the things that are yet still up in the air.

There’s on thing for sure though and that’s the mere fact that I feel like I’m slowly falling for my best friend.

Yesterday morning was awkward as hell. Watching her walk out of my house after we’d made love then to feel the sudden distance from her all through lunch, through every touch to the point where I could read the hesitation all over her face. I’m still not a hundred percent sure of what’s going on in her mind. For all I know, she could simply be testing out the waters. A part of me still asks myself if I’m even good enough for her.

But all  that uncertainty seemed to fall by the wayside the moment she came home early from work. I swear everything in my world stopped and it reminded me exactly why I love Caroline so damn much.

My mind is flooded back to just a few short hours ago, to yesterday. I was packing, preparing to leave and let this thing with us just work itself out, convinced that it would all be too much and Caroline just wasn’t ready to see where it could go.. or maybe that I wasn’t what she wanted. That was until she came home early from work, walking into the bedroom with her eyes so fierce, so determined, so full of guilt and sorry.  I can still remember the knot in my stomach, wondering if she was going to let me know she was giving up but that didn’t seem to be the case.

Her green eyes watered as she apologized- and for what I’m still not sure but the kiss that followed seemed to push all my thoughts under the rug. That kiss meant everything to me. In fact, it gave me some hope and something to hold on to.

**
“I’m sorry.” She says softly, almost as whisper.

My mind is jarred, wondering if this is going to be the end of us but I’m weak and I know I want the woman standing in front of me.

“It’s alright.” I say, my voice soft but unsure. I just want to know why she’s home early, why she’s standing in front of me and how long it will be until I can kiss her again.

My mind doesn’t wonder much longer as I feel her hands inch up my chest, before they tangle in my hair and not a beat later, her lips are softly grazing mine. The air is quickly taken from my lungs and it’s all I can do to remain up words.

I kiss her back, my lips trying to take control but she quickly lets me know that she’s in charge right now and all I can do is simply sit back and enjoy the ride. My hands go to her hips, wanting her as close to me as I can possibly get.

Her lips take on a mind of their one, going back and forth from a soft brush to a deeper caress. When I feel her tongue graze the seam of my lips, my hands instantly go to her face, holding her to taste her completely. The scent of her is once again all around me and I can’t help but feel whole by it. I can’t help but to keep asking myself why I didn’t see any of this sooner, or why I pushed it aside for so long. Feeling romantic things for your best friend happens to everyone right?  I quickly forget about it, as I feel her tongue brush against mine softly, as a moan escapes my lips. I shiver as I feel her nails scrape gently across my scalp and I know Caroline knows exactly what that does to me.

I pull her blouse from her skirt, desperate for the feel of her skin against my own. My thumbs skim against her hip bones once I get it free as she takes a step back, both of us panting. Her face instantly goes into my shoulder, breathing slowly as my hands move to the small of her back, moving in slow circles.

“You’re home early, Carebear.” I voice, not wanting to ask exactly what this is about.

“I just wanted to spend some time with you until you left.”  She says, her voice muffled against my neck.

“Yeah?”  I ask, my voice unsteady and unsure as I swallow the lump in my throat.

“Yeah. Is that okay?”

I pull back, softly forcing her to look at me, as my blue eyes crash into uncertain blue ones.

“I can’t think of any other person I’d rather be with.”

The shy smile that creeps upon her kiss swollen lips sends that deep thud back to the center of my chest and I can’t prevent it as I lean forward, kissing her softly once again, desperate for the taste of her.

“I need to go change out of these clothes real quick.”  She says, pulling back and turning to the door.

“I can help you with that,” I voice, memories of previous events flooding my memory. “You can um, you can grab a t-shirt and some shorts or something from my closet.”  

She turns back to me, her hand reaching for mine as I take the opportunity to slide my fingers through hers, mentally noting how well they fit together. She pulls me in across the bedroom to my closet, reaching for a light blue t-shirt stacked on top of one of the dressers. Her nimble fingers reach for the buttons of her blouse but I push them away, replacing them with my own.

I can feel her eyes burn into mine and as I look up, I see something in her eyes I haven’t seen before but I don’t know the right words to define it. My hands push the shirt from her body as it falls to the floor and I can’t stop my fingers as they graze her shoulders, to the side of her ribs, to the dips of her abdomen. She shivers slightly as I reach up to unclasp her bra, watching as it falls with her shirt. Her arms come up, shielding her body from me and I quickly reach for them, pulling them away.

“You’re beautiful.” I say, leaning in and brushing a kiss across her shoulder, slowly dotting her skin until I reach her lips.

I smile as she shivers again, her hand going to rest on the side of my face and I take my time, drinking her in slowly, mesmerized by each inch of exposed skin. It’s all so new to me, yet so familiar. I reach for the t-shirt, watching as she holds her arms out, allowing me to slide it over her frame, smiling as I watch it come down to the top of her thighs. My hands reach for her hair, carefully pulling it out, running my fingers through it gently. I watch as she reaches behind her for the zipper of her skirt and it quickly pools at her feet and she steps out of it.

I expect her to search for a pair of shorts but instead, she takes half a step closer, her arms wrapping around my waist, cheek resting against the strong thud of my heart as my arms instinctively come around her.

“Do you need to finish packing?”  She asks, bringing me out of my reverie.

“I was just about done when you got home.”

“Okay. Are you hungry?”

I laugh slightly, seeing her try to fill the void between us.

“We just ate lunch a few hours ago, babe. Why don’t we just chill out?”

I watch as she bites her lip in indecision. “Alright.”

She trails me back into the bedroom as I quickly finish stuffing the last pile of clothes into my massive suitcase before zipping it up and moving it over to by the door.

“Come here.” I say, as she pads the short distance to me, coming underneath the outstretched arm I’m holding out for her.

I walk to the bed, pulling her down with me as I prop my head up on the pillows, her head going to rest against my chest, my fingers going back to run through the strands of her hair as she hums softly. I smile, content to just hold her as silence takes over the room. Neither of us speak for what seems like forever until I break the quiet.

“You awake?”

“Mmmhmm. Just enjoying the moment.”  She says easily.

“Do you want to talk?”  I voice, holding my breath.

She looks up at me slightly from her place on my chest.

“I don’t know if I have the right words, Just.”

“They don’t have to be the right words, Carebear. Sometimes all that matters is that you say something.”

I hear her sigh and feel it graze my arm.

“I’m scared.”

This sounds a little foreign coming from my best friend. She’s one of the most strongest people I know, inside and out.

“Of?”

She sits up, tucking her legs beneath her as she looks down, tucking her hair behind her ear nervously.

“Of us Justin.”

I reach for her hand, lacing our fingers together once again.

“It’s okay to be scared but don’t you think we at least deserve a chance? At least to try?”

“I guess so.” She voices hesitantly.

“Caroline, I need to know that this isn’t just me feeling all of this. I need to know that I’m not dragging you along here.”

Her eyes widen and her next move catches me off guard a little as she crawls into my lap, her legs splayed out on each side, as her forehead comes to rest against mine.

“No Justin, your not the only one feeling this. Your just better at voicing it. I love you more than words can say but I’m wondering if risking this is worth losing everything we’ve built.”

The knot in my throat returns and I’m slowly starting to understand.

I reach up, looking her in the eye, trying to wash away all the fear, the uncertainties, the doubt, as I kiss each of her eyes.

“Can you do me a favor then?” I ask, feeling as though everything is being ripped from under my feet. At her nod, I take a deep breath before continuing. “Can you please give us a try? Just give us a chance Carebear, for me, please. I love you too much to not give us a try.”

I didn’t even realize how shaky my voice had come out until those last few words. I hold my breath, waiting for her to reply.

I feel the firm press of soft lips against mine as I lean forward, my own moving slowly with hers. When she pulls apart, I see blue eyes glassed over with tears.

“Yes Justin. If I was going to risk it all and give this a chance for anyone, it’d be you and you’re right. I owe this to you, to us.”

I can’t stop myself as I kiss her once again, this time all the fear, the worry, the love coming out and pouring into the kiss. I keep it soft but strong as our lips tease and nip at one another, tongues brushing and tasting, feeling the sparks shoot through me from head to toe. My hands creep up under her shirt, caressing the skin of her back and sides, desperate for the feel of her skin against my own. It’s not long before I feel her own fingers inching the fabric of my t-shirt up, tearing her lips from mine to pull it off my head.

I slide down the bed, laying flat on my back as she follows me, laying easily at my side, tucking against my body. Her forehead comes to rest against mine once again, her breath fanning across my face as she leans in smoothly for another kiss like she’s been doing this for a long time. Her hands trace my chest, my sides, my back, before they lock themselves around my neck, holding us closer together.

It’s then that I know that this has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with taking things between us slow. She’s walking on uncharted territory and willing to give us a chance and for that I’ll have to give her the best of my heart in return.

I can’t screw this up. I won’t. I love her too much to throw it all away. Everything we’ve built is on the line for something as silly as love. Deep down, I know she’s worth it. I wouldn’t be here today if it weren't for her. From here on out it’s my job to give her my heart and in return hope she’ll do the same for me.

Placing one more kiss on her lips, her head resumes it’s place on my chest, her ear against the thud of my heart, as my arms go around her, holding her against me, as I begin to dread the fact that I have to leave tomorrow.

I close my eyes, trying to breath her in, trying to savor this silence between us but it’s a good silence. We’re slowly moving forward and even though I can’t predict the future, I know that right now shes by my side and she’s mine.

Hopefully I’ve got what it takes to make this work. I realize that maybe this is why all my past loves have failed. Everything I’ve ever need and all I’ll ever want was standing right in front of me.

**

You Get Me Through

Chapter 12.

You Get Me Through
Chapter 13.

"Hey," I breathed softly. "I miss you."

"Bye, Justin." I hear her say numbly before the line went dead.

All I got was a simple heartless ‘bye' and that was a little over twenty-four hours ago. My mind was still trying wrap around it. I know heart had sank as I pulled my cell phone back from my ear looking at it blankly. I thought I could hear something off in Caroline's voice through out our short conversation but I pushed it aside. I did after all wake her up but I figured her mood would quickly change. Even in her bad moods, she's always given me a ‘Miss you too' or at least an ‘I love you, too' regardless of what was going on between us. There were so many things I wanted to say but I couldn't, so many thoughts that had been running a mile a minute these two weeks I had been away but that didn't matter because Caroline refused to discuss anything to do with "us" over the phone.

In a way I couldn't fault her because everything was so new and up in the air. For a moment I thought we were on the same page right before I left as I held her and she clung to me. It felt so right if only for a little while, but then work called and I had to leave but she's used to it. She knows how my life is. She's use to the chaos. I tell myself that maybe I shouldn't have left so soon but she seemed okay with the idea and even happy for me. Still, I got the feeling there was something she wasn't telling me.

I quickly begin moving around my hotel suite, packing my clothes, thankful that I finished up all my scenes for this movie a little earlier than planned. I slowly regretting even doing this but then I remember how much of a perfectionist I am and how long I've waited for an opportunity to act in a real movie. I wish sometimes that I didn't care so much.

I roll my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose, already sick of the number of times I've checked my cell phone, silently hoping for a missed call, a voicemail, a text.. something. Something to let me know Caroline is okay. I try to rewind our conversation from this morning, begging my mind to think clearly, wondering what in the hell I could have said. When nothing comes to me, I'm reminded of that fact that I'm a guy and I'll admit, sometimes we're pretty dense.

Doing another quick glance, I walk slowly around my room, making sure I have everything before calling down to the front desk for a taxi. I grab my suitcase and my jacket, making sure my phone is my pocket before exiting my hotel room. Here I go again.. a traveling nomad.
**
I walk through the busy airport at JFK, my red sweatshirt zipped up and hood pulled over my head as I try to blend in. There's a dull ache sitting in my chest that's been there for the last twenty-four hours and it kills me that I can't make it alright, right this second. It's times like this where I really hate what I do for a living. I take a seat at my gate, away from everybody else and jump when I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket.

"Hello?" I voice, holding my breath.

"Hey jackass," Trace replies and I roll my eyes, my heart sinking a little. "How's the movie going?"

"I'm done and uh, it was fine." I say keeping my head low.

"What's next?"

"I'm probably going to work on some songs for a movie soundtrack in Miami."

"Sounds good," He says. "You love the work."

Until now I say silently, cursing myself. My leg bounces nervously, thoughts getting crisscrossed in my head by this whole situation.

"Yeah," I say, just to appease him. "Have you been over to the house lately?"

"I was there yesterday actually, picking up one of my jackets I left over there, why?"

I swallow, taking a deep breath as I try not to give anything away.

"Did you talk to Caroline?" I question, holding my breath as I wait for an answer.

"She wasn't there."

My hands scrub over my face as I sit up a little bit, trying to calm the thudding in my heart. I know she didn't work have to work. I tell myself not to jump to any conclusions though even though a bad feeling is slowly taking over the pit of my stomach.

"Did you get a hold of her?"

"Yeah, she said she was going home." He says and my eyes widen, a heavy pang hitting me hard.

"She went home?" I ask, my voice weak and pained.

"Uh yeah, why? What's going on Justin?"

"Nothing, look Trace, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later." I say, hanging up my phone and shoving it in my pocket.

I grab my duffel bag and stand, slinging it over my shoulder and quickly leave the gate area as my heart thuds loudly in my chest, causing my ears to ring. Am I really this dumb? It seems all my relationships somehow end up falling to pieces and I wonder if all of them are my fault. Did I not give enough? Did I not try? The feeling sits heavy on my chest as a dull ache settles in my stomach. Relationship or not, I refuse to let Caroline go. At least not without a fight.

When I finally make it to the ticket counter, I can hardly form the right words to the lady behind the counter.

"I need to change my flight please."
**
I walk up slowly to the familiar door with a knot in the middle of my stomach. The feeling of fear, anger, love and hurt all still lingering inside of me. Should I just go in like I always do? No, I need her to answer the door and see the look in my eyes. I want her to know what this is doing to me, to us.

I scratch the back of my neck nervously as I hear footsteps coming closer. Holding my breath, all my words die on my tongue the second she appears before me. Her long hair light brown hair is tied back in a messy ponytail, strands that have fallen out frame her face. She's dressed in her usual- black sweat pants and a gray hooded sweatshirt but it's not her attire that causes all words to fail. It's the look on her face. Dark circles lay under her blue eyes and her entire form looks amazingly gorgeous but tired and worn out.

"Justin.." She says in surprise, leaning against the door frame.

I place my hands in the pockets of my jeans, knowing that if I don't keep them occupied, that I'll reach out and pull her against me. I've missed her so badly.

"Caroline," I say, staring at her, my eyes never leaving hers as I don't even ask, stepping through door and into her house.

"Wh- what are you doing here?" She questions looking back at me confused and I'd be lying if I said that didn't sting.

"Do I need a reason?"

"I thought you were going to Miami." She states, her voice chilled, crossing her arms across her chest.

I shake my head, walking into her living room, pulling my jacket off and taking a seat on the sofa, waiting for her to follow.

"There uh, was a change of plans."

"Why?" She asks and I sigh hard, seeing how this going to go nowhere quick as she comes to stand across the room by another couch a good distance away from me.

"WHY?" I ask, raising my voice as I stand, coming to stand in front of her. "Maybe it's because the last time we spoke, all I got was a heartless goodbye and nothing after that. Or maybe because I was about to fly across the damn united states and come home to an empty house, wanting to be with you only to find out you just up and LEFT without so much as an explanation, a phone call, anything. Do you have any idea how much I've been worried about you Caroline?"

She shrugs as if unaffected. "I needed time to think, Justin. I couldn't do that living in your house with a constant reminder all around me. Besides, it's not like you had any intentions of coming home soon, anyways."

I scoff, shaking my head. "So this is about me, isn't it? It's all my fault?"

"I didn't say that. Stop being ridiculous." She voices, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms over her chest again.

"What are you so damn afraid of?" I ask, my voice weak and hurt.

"WHAT am I afraid of? Are you kidding me here Justin or are you just really stupid today?"

I bow my head, shocked by her tone. She's put a wall up between us and I can feel it sitting on top of my shoulders, cold and heavy. I guess it's my job to knock it down. I stand, cautiously taking a few steps closer to her, the urge to feel her somehow overwhelming even though she clearly doesn't like me right now. I take a risk, reaching for her hand and lacing her fingers through mine. She takes a small step back but doesn't object. Slowly bringing her hand up to my lips, I place a soft, dry kiss on her knuckles as I speak against them, my eyes holding hers.

"It's just me, Carebear. Let me in."

Her body language changes quickly as closes her eyes a second before they quickly open and she pulls her hand away from my grasp, as she turns her back to me, hugging her arms over her chest once again, using them like a shield to her heart.

"I'm scared of everything, Justin! Don't you get it? There is so much at steak right now. You are my best friend. You're the one who sees me through every up and down in my life, the one who makes me laugh, the one who's hugs can consume all of me, the one man in my life I've loved consistently for so many years and you're just willing to throw it all away for a chance to see if I'm really what you want?"

I swallow the lump in my throat. "If it means I get to love you the way I've wanted to for the last eight years, then yes."

She turns around and looks at me, wide eyes. "Eight years?"

"Yes," I say, risking a chance at moving closer to her. "The feelings have always been there but I never acted on them because of the reasons you just said but no matter how much I tried, the nagging feeling would never go away. You've always been there for me. Through everything, Caroline and we've always been close. Physically and emotionally. Each time I held you, it's always given me hope that maybe one day-- I'll be able to love you like this one day. You've never showed those kind of feelings for me so I took what I could get if it meant being close to you. I always found a sweet comfort in those moments even if you didn't feel the same. I didn't want to break what we had so I accepted you as my best friend- hell you were more that a best friend. You're like a part of my soul."

I see her bite her lip, a visual that's always let me know she's nervous. "You've also have a few serious long term relationships. Your timing was always off. And how do I go about this whole ordeal without feeling like a rebound? I'm always there and we're close. It's like the perfect opportunity for you."

My eyes widened, my own ears not believing her. "A rebound?" I spit out in disbelief. "You think that's all you are to me?"

She shrugs, tucking her hair behind her ears. "Sure feels like it. It's not everyday you sleep with your best friend with little to no explanation and then he fly's across the country to leave you wondering and guessing."

"Dammit, Caroline. I tried to talk to you about this and you shut me out each time. Do you have any idea how much it hurt that morning after when you left for work and wouldn't even look at me? You are the farthest thing from a rebound. I cannot believe you think I'd treat you like that; one of the people in this world that I love the most but I'm sorry if I made you feel like that."

"There was nothing even leading up to it Justin. It was just like everyday and then you started shutting me out and the next thing I know we're in bed together. No explanation other than you needed ‘time' to sort out what was going through your head. Sleeping with me seemed like a little more than ‘sorting' to me."

I cover my hand over my face, my body tired, my limbs heavy and my heart slowly falling into tiny pieces. "I know I didn't go about that in the best way but I went for what I was feeling in my heart," I step forward, my hand moving up to cover her cheek, tipping her chin up to meet my eyes.

"When I woke up with you on the couch that night I had a million thoughts running through my mind and the urge to be close to you was so heavy. I kept telling myself the next morning that I had no idea how we'd been so close for so damn long and had never done anything like before. It may not have happened in the best way Caroline, but everything was real. I don't think I loved you any more then I did then. Thinking about it still takes my breath away."

Bowing her head, she concentrates on the floor, looking at her bare feet before pulling away and dropping down on the sofa heavily, her hands covering her face. "I'm sorry."

I chance it, my heart pounding heavily in my chest as I kneel down in front of her, carefully pulling her hands away from her face. "Don't be sorry. You've gotta stop shutting me out."

"I don't know how, Justin. You're never home so how is that ever going to work? Do you want me to continue following you around the world like some kind of security blanket? How many times do I have to fly out to god only knows where before you realize I'm going to need that too. I have a job and house and I'd like to put down some roots and stay in the same place for a while. Are you going to be able to come to me for a change because I refuse to do this relationship one sided. For once, I want to be the selfish one."

I take a deep breath, processing her words as several of them jab me right in the heart, taking little pieces along with them each time. "I can't promise you where my career will go but dammit, I'd fly anywhere to get to you if you needed me. Do you have any idea how much you mean to me Caroline?" I ask, standing and racking a hand through my hair. "You are one of the most important people in my entire life. I'm sorry my career is the way it is but I can't change it. It's who I am."

"I'm not asking you to change, Justin," She says softly, looking up at me from her place on the sofa, her eyes red and glossy with tears. "I'm asking you to make an effort and know that this will take the two of us in order to work."

"And that's why I love you so damn much. You've always accepted me, just Justin- that awkward kid from a small town in Tennessee who loved to sing and thought he ruled the world. You know my flaws, inside and out and you still love me, flaws and all. You've been my biggest fan from day one, the only person I could and can always count on," I say, taking a step forward and looking down at her lovingly. "And yes, I know a lot of the giving in this relationship will be from me and I realize that. I'll make it work. I love you too damn much to just let this slip away."

She's silent for a second as if she's processing my words.

"If you break my heart-," She says, her eyes shimmering with tears before she stops, gathering her composure. "This isn't like being just friends. Everything is on the line here, Justin."

Closing the space between us and kneel down on the soft carpet in front of her, my throat stings as I hold back my own tears, taking her hands in mine again, this time lacing our fingers together and holding them on her lap.

"Babe, I can't promise that- but you've gotta know that's the last thing in this world I would try to do. Yes, we were friends first and we have something more special than anything but loving you this way adds a wonderful change to our friendship. We won't have to hold back anymore. No walls between us. I know you've been hurt in the past, really hurt," I say, unlacing our fingers and bringing her hands to my cheeks, relishing in the warm feel of her palms against mine skin. "I know you've felt that same pain I've felt from relationships and there were those times where we held each other and cried ourselves to sleep but I think they've made us better. We have always got each other through it, through everything."

I let go of her hands, and my heart beats deep in my chest as they fall to my shoulders but don't move, they stay. Bringing the tips of my fingers up under her eyes, I glance back into sky blue as I brush away the tears, now escaping freely. "I need you to understand something for me," I ask, my voice thick with emotion and shaky. My hands move up, tucking the escaping strands of hair behind her ear and then settling them on her neck, my thumbs grazing her jaw soothingly.. "No one will love you as much as I do. No one else knows you inside and out like me. No one else can read you like an open book or sense your moods like I can."

I finally let out the breath I didn't realize I'd been holding until I look up, her tears now falling silently against her pale cheeks, her eyes bluer than I've ever seen them before as a soft sob escapes the back of her throat. I don't even realize that my own eyes have done the same until I feel her fingers brushing them away for me as her forehead comes down to rest against mine and her arms wound around my neck, fingers tangling in my hair.

"I do love you, Justin. More then you could ever possibly imagine." She whispers, her soft breath falling against my face, as I close my eyes for a second, savoring the warmth of her, and the sweet scent of her as it consumes me. "But I'm trying to tell you that if this goes wrong, I'm terrified of losing you. You mean so damn much to me to just risk it all on a chance at love. That's why I never second guessed my feelings for you. I'd rather have you by my side as my best friend then risk trying to become more and having it all fall apart."

I let out a strangled sound from the back of my throat, knowing she's right. This is a risk. Hell, everything we do in this world is a risk. It's a part of life but I know deep down, she's more than worth it. Something about this feels right.

"If this doesn't work out, I promise you, pinkie swear times infinity and beyond, that if something should happen where we think we should stop, then we'll slowly step away from the romantic part but you're still going to be close to me. You'll still be my best friend that I love more than anything or anyone in this world. There is no way I'm going to let you go though. No way."

She sniffles a little, her hands stilling in my hair, her head still pressed against mine as I feel the soft sweeps of her eye lashes every once in a while.

"I want to try, Justin- more than you could ever know but that doesn't still mean I'm not scared."

I pull my head away from hers, pulling her knees apart and moving in between them, desperate to be closer to her somehow. "It's okay to be scared. I'm scared too, babe," I look into genuine blue eyes, trying to read all of her. "I'm done with touring for a while so that will be out of the way. I've actually been thinking about taking some time off here soon anyways. I think we deserve it, just the two of us."

"There's no turning back." She voices, grabbing my pinkie.

"I don't want to go back. I want this chance for us, from here on out. I want us to let go of all of our insecurities and all our past relationships that didn't work out. I think we owe it to ourselves. And I need you to do something else for me, too."

"What's that, Justin?"

"I need you--who is at times closed off when I can see right through you, to come to me when you're not sure about something. Talk to me and let me know what you're feeling. We can't work if we don't talk it out."

"I know and I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you." She says quietly, her eyes welling up again as her hands move to my biceps. "When we were friends, I swore I could tell you anything and when I started feeling like this, I just couldn't bring myself to say the words so I pushed them aside."

"You said you'd never give up on me, Carebear. We promised each other." I whisper, looking back at her seriously.

The breath is nearly stolen from my lungs as she pushes herself forward, her body enveloping mine heavily as she wraps her arms around my neck, hugging me to her body, her head resting in the crook of my neck and I swear it's right here where I finally start breathing again.

"I'm not going anywhere Justin. I'm not giving up," She voices, her lips speaking quietly against my ear, goosebumps forming all over my skin. "Not on you."

My arms reciprocate, wrapping around her waist and inhaling the scent of her in as my breathing hitches in my chest once again. It had only been a few weeks but I was still starved for her. The feel of her skin, the weight of her body in my arms, the sweet flowery smell of her hair. Time ticked by slowly as we simply held each other, out heart beats beating loudly against the others.

Finally, I pulled back regretfully. "Can I please do something?"

"What's that?" She asks, quirking and eyebrow in confusion.

I move forward, the short distance between us and leaning against her forehead once again. "Can I please kiss you now?"

The soft, seductive smiles she gives me causes my mouth to go dry but she doesn't answer. She simply lowers her head down to mine, kissing each of my eye's as they slide closed against my cheeks. From there, she kisses my nose, then my jaw, trailing her lips in a diagonal line down to my neck as a shiver runs down my spine, causing me to breathe out a quiet moan. Coming back up, I can feel her face in front of me as I open my eyes, glancing back into glossy blue but there's something different that wasn't there when I first arrived. This time they held a gorgeous sparkle to them. All the confusion and the hurt was gone and I saw nothing but love shining through. My lips turn up, smiling at her before I slowly lick my lips, watching as she does the same.

Meeting her half way, I nuzzled my nose with hers gently before leaning in as I press my lips against hers softly, my hands carefully holding either side of her face. Her fingers find their way to my hair again, gently tugging, trying to bring me closer to her. I take my time, pressing my lips to hers slowly, re-learning the unique flavor of her and while it's still new to kiss my best friend this way, to not hold anything back, it was also familiar. Something about kissing her felt right, felt meant to be.

I move slowly, sipping softly, my hands going to her hips and moving under her sweatshirt to feel the warmth of her skin as she moans against my lips. I take the opportunity, deepening the kiss, swallowing her whimper and I don't want to let go. I try to pour out every emotion I feel for her at this moment, all the love, the excitement, the anticipation for what is to come. My heart swells in my chest as I think back throughout our friendship up until now and this moment and I love her so much and it no longer scares me to feel and think this anymore. I pull back reluctantly, desperate for air as a second goes by before she wraps her arms around my shoulders, hugging me close as her cheek falls against the crook of my neck.

"I love you, Jus." She breathes, warming my skin. "I'm sorry."

I pull back just enough to look at her, tipping her chin up so I know shes looking at me and even though her eyes are red and glossed over with tears, she's never looked more beautiful to me then she does right at this moment.

"I love you, Carebear. I'm sorry too. I should have been better and gone about this in a different way." I tell her as I bow my head in regret.

"Hey," She says, catching my attention as she now tips my chin up to look at her. "We both made some mistakes but that's okay. We'll learn and we'll figure the kinks out as we go. We've got each other and that's all we need to make it through."

"You're right. And I'm not going anywhere. Not without you."

I feel her grip on me tighten as she hugs her body against mine right before I feel her lips right below my neck and my body's reaction is almost immediate.

"Let's go to bed."

I swallow thickly, moving back from her grasp as my hand reaches for hers, tugging her up and walking through the house, down the hallway to her bedroom.

We don't say anything as we walk into her room, the only light coming from the small bedside lamp, causing a soft glow to fill the room. She walks to her bed, leaning down to pull back the bedding and I use this as an opportunity to toe off my shoes. When she stands upright again, I snake my hands around her waist, pulling her back against me. Her head lolls back to rest against my shoulder, as I creep the tips of my fingers under her sweatshirt, dancing them across her stomach as she sighs.

I turn my head, brushing my lips against the exposed expanse of her neck, desperate for the taste of her skin. One of her hands reaches up, sliding across my jaw before sliding it through my hair. I turn her around, my hands going to the hem of her shirt, where she willingly holds up her arms, silently giving me permission as I pull it off.

"Is this my hoodie?" I question, tossing it to the floor.

A small smile creeps across her lips as her head dips down, her gaze leaving mine.

"Maybe," She shrugs, avoiding confirmation. "It still smells like you."

My lips turn up smiling, staring back at her. In all her confusion and reasons to leave L.A. to get me out of her thoughts, somehow makes me feel better to know she still kept a part of me close to her.

I look down, seeing the thin white tank top being her only stitch of clothing beneath the sweatshirt she's wearing as my arms move forward, encircling her waist and pulling her against me. Her hands move around my waist, settling at my hips and I shiver as I feel her fingers cautiously brush the seam of my t-shirt before slowly inching up and caressing my skin. I shiver, my eyes sliding shut as she becomes more brave, snaking the tips of her fingers up my sides before moving them around to my stomach before sliding them up my ribs.

Her hands open and it's not long before I feel the brush of her palms, her fingers spread out across my chest, cautiously feeling, learning new territory as I shutter, relishing in the delicious tingles that run through my body. Her hands come to a pause and I open my eyes to find her staring back at me.

"What's wrong, babe?"

"Does this feel weird to you?" She questions.

"Nope. I think it feels pretty natural actually. Why, does it feel weird to you?"

She looks as though she's thinking, like really thinking and I pray she's not second guessing this.

"No. It feels right. I just never thought we'd ever get to this point, ya know?"

I nod, leaning down to place a few kisses along her jaw line.

"We're there babe. I never knew the one person I needed in my life the most was standing right in front of me all this time."

Her long lashes open and she smiles at me and I feel my heart swell with love all over again.

"Me either."

"Besides," I say, grinning at her seductively. "You don't know how many fantasies I've had about you recently."

Her eyes widen in surprise and her hands begin moving again cautiously.

"Yo- you've had fantasies about me?"

My hands move up the side of her tank top, grazing her skin along the way and I grin wickedly at her before leaning down and placing a kiss just below her ear.

"Oh yeah. Quite a few, actually."

"What about?" She asks, her voice uneven.

I lean in, placing a series of kisses along the sensitive column of her neck as my fingers inch the material of her thin shirt up higher, exposing more and more of her skin. "Oh you know, kissing you-like really kissing you, making love to you, waking up with you every morning, not having to hold back."

I can't help but smile as I see the goosebumps form on her skin as her body trembles as I talk against her neck. "Justin..." She gasps out softly, her head lolling to the side to give me better access.

I pull back, grinning down at her, seeing her eyes hooded and a deep shade of blue, love and lust looking back at me.

"What, babe? Are you gonna tell me you've never had any fantasies about me? Never thought about this?"

"No, I have," She confesses, her fingers bunching up my t-shirt until it's under my arm pits. "I just never thought I'd actually get to do anything about them."

I laugh slightly, leaning down to kiss her sensually, happy to be where I am at the moment, overjoyed that she's here with me right now. "Please, feel free to do something."

Licking her lips, she grins something seductive and sexy and I don't even think she realizes it. Her nimble fingers begin tugging my shirt up even higher as I bring my arms up over my head, letting her discard the shirt and toss it aside. She takes her time, skimming her hands up and across my bare chest, over my stomach, down my sides before leaning forward and placing a series of kisses near my collar bone as I try to breathe in oxygen, my body becoming hotter by the second. I feel her arms snake around my waist before she leans forward, hugging me to her and placing her head just below my heart, feeling it thud against her ear.

My hands work up her back, fingers moving up her tank top as I trace the dips of her spine, before reaching her ponytail and gently pulling out the holder, watching her hair cascade down her back. My fingers don't wait before delving in, feeling the soft tresses as she finally glances up at me.

I can't contain myself as I move in, kissing her deeply, my fingers tangling in her hair. Her own hands do the same, grasping onto my neck before diving into my hair. I pull apart for a second, only to discard her tank top, tossing it aimlessly away as our lips meet again, and again in unrestrained passion. The breath is nearly stolen from my lungs as our chests mesh together, skin to skin, feeling her heart to heart with nothing in between us.

When all the teasing became too much, we stumble to the bed, shedding the rest of our clothes in the process. I make sure to take my time, reminding myself that time is only a small factor when it comes to us and that Caroline deserves to know how much I love her with every touch I give. I want to show her what real love can be like. I want to be the only man in her life.

I hold my weight above her, looking down into one of the most familiar and beautiful faces in my life and I'm overwhelmed with what I feel for her. We take our time, sharing kisses, breath, caresses, savoring in the delicious tingles that move through us. Our bodies move together fluidly, as if they know the rhythm and the only sounds that fill the room are the gasps, moans and whispers that escape our lips. My eyes hold hers, trying to read her and feel her heart beat with mine as our body's move rhythmically with one another. When we reach the end, her arms wrap around me frantically, nails biting into my skin and I can see the love she feels for me with every caress she emits and I feel it so deeply that it's almost hard to breathe.

I close my eyes, my body still shuddering as I go to move off of her slightly but her arms encircle my shoulders, keeping me against her. I give in, letting myself rest my weight on top of her as I tuck my face in the crook of her neck, my breathing coming in soft pants and I can feel the deep thud of her heart against me and the slight tremors that move through her body. I suck in a breath as she whispers she loves me while her hands run idly up and down my back, causing me to sigh in content against her.

I kiss just below her ear, once again smiling at the reaction it has on her. "I love you too, babe. So much."

My heart leaps in my chest a little and I can't help but to think how different this moment is from the first time we made love. Before there were so many uncertainties, so many unknowns and so many risks I took, wishing and hoping that my best friend would have the same feelings towards me and that everything would work out as I'd hoped. I know now things don't always go as planned. I was stupid and selfish for going about things that way and not including her on my feelings.

I had her love then, a simple kind of love that came with no strings and no attachments but at the end of the day, I was left feeling empty inside. I wanted all of her and I wanted her heart. Although it took some time and feelings were hurt along the way, walls were broken down and the light was there at the end of the tunnel waiting for us. Waiting for a love I think we always shared, something we never thought about the first time we met all those years ago and I now believe that everything has it's own place and time, and right now is our time to love each other, not only as friends but as lovers, as two souls on their own path, destined to come together, to become one.

You Get Me Through

Chapter 14