There you go in all your beautiful glory

Messing with my head like you always did

  I watched him from across the crowded room, a sense of comfort and deep saddness taking over.  He looked amazing but then again he always did. He carried himself with such confidence and self-assurance that it was impossible to not be attracted to him. I'd like to say that seeing him is getting easier but that's the farthest thing from the truth. It's actually getting harder.

  It's been seven months seen I've been alone with him, four months since I saw him and two weeks since I last spoke with him.

  You know how some break ups the guys says 'let's stay friends'? Usually that's bullshit but Justin really means it. He'll call to check in and see how things are going. I ignored the calls for a while but it was useless. Not only because we had such a connection while we were together- we did by the way- but because we were such good friends before. And I don't know about you but I just can't throw away five years of friendship.

  All these memories are hitting me as I see him turn his head and lock eyes with me from across the room. I gave him a small smile which he returned. He raises his hand to offer a small wave before grabbing his drink and excusing himself from the two people he's talking to before making his way over to me.

  "Hey." He gives me a hesitant smile. Almost like he's worried about my reaction.

  "Hey." I return the smile. He reaches his hand up to rub across the back of his neck and I watch his arm flex against the black t-shirt he's wearing. I lick my lips as my memory flashes scenes of naked skin against naked skin.

  "How've you been?" he asked.

  I shrugged, crossing my legs. I don't miss the way his eyes traveled up and down my legs that were sticking out of my skirt.

  It was like when he did shit like that, I really started to question my sanity. Did he do it out of habit or was there something more to it?

  "Just working, you know?" She said looking up at me with those big green eyes that I fell for so long ago.

  I nodded. Taylor always worked her way into my head and I don't really know how to handle her. Obviously we didn't have the best of relationships since we were no longer together but we never lacked in sexual attraction, that's for damn sure.

  Aside from having a body that most women would die for and most men did double takes for, her personality sucked you in and you couldn't help but love her. 

  I looked back up at her and I know she saw me eye her legs and she smirked at me, licking her lips again. My breath caughts in my throat a little watching her. 

I'm thinking things I don't want to say

And I can't breathe

What do I have to tell you girl

So you won't leave

  "So...." He trailed off, looking towards the door. "You wanna get out of here?"

  I bite the inside of my lip to keep the smile from forming. Oh, I knew exactly what he wanted and I wanted it too but I really didn't want to have him keep messing with my head.

  He always did that, I'm sure unintentionally but messing with it none the less. I know it was part of his nature to be caring and attentive but as the ex-girlfriend it wasn't what I needed.

   "Where?" I asked. 

  We both knew I was stalling.

  "Anywhere." His eyes teasing but silently hopeful.

  I took the beer from his hand, taking a big swallow before placing it back down.

  "Yea, let's go."

Tell me what I want to hear

I don't care if you're lying baby

I just want to feel you touch me right now

Go ahead and call it love

Tomorrow you can deny it baby

Kiss me again, let me pretend

That it's not wrong

Baby lead me on

  I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, head tilted back, completely relaxed. 

  We drove around LA for a while, making small talk but completely avoiding what we both knew was going on. After a while he finally drove us back to my house.

  We were sitting in the backyard, a bottle of wine between us. Before we left the party, I had already had a comfortable buzz going on but now with the wine in me, the urge to reach out and touch him was getting stronger and harder to control. 

  Suddenly he turned to look at me, eyes dark and not just from the lack of lights. I swallowed hard.

  "You know....I've been thinking about you lately." He said, voice soft and a little unsure.

  I quirked an eyebrow at him. "What about me?"

  His tongue reached out and licked his lips. "Just stuff."

  I smirked at him. "What kind of stuff?"

  His eyes roamed my body and I could feel myself heat up.  

  "Justin," I started, almost scared. "I want this but I need to know what it means."

I wanna touch your skin, I wanna taste it

I wanna feel that love like we used to make it

  I hesitated, not sure what she meant. Actually, I did know. Taylor's not the kind of person to just sleep with someone and have no feelings about it. Of course she'd want to know what this meant.

  I searched her eyes, trying to figure out what she wanted. It had been a long time since I needed to know what she was thinking and I find it hard to do.

  I don't want anything to come from tonight. We broke up for a reason and no matter what it was, it happened and it was for the best.

  I think a small part of me just wanted to be with her tonight to feel loved again.  Maybe I just needed this one last night with her. I hadn't lied when I said I had been thinking about her. 

I don't care if we go nowhere

You're all I see

One more night with you

Is all I need

  He shifted so he was facing me and I almost stopped breathing.

  "I want tonight." He said softly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my hair.  His hand slowly trailed down my check then down my neck.

  I watched his eyes roam my face to my lips. My breathing hitched as he brought his face closer to mine.

  His eyes started to close and before I could stop myself I whispered, "Tell me."

Tell me what I want to hear

I don't care if you're lying baby

I just want to feel you touch me right now

Go ahead and call it love

Tomorrow you can deny it baby

Kiss me again, let me pretend

That it's not wrong

Baby, lead me on

  I opened my eyes and looked at her. She was holding her breath, eyes begging.

I know what you want 

I know what you need

I know when I'm gone

You'll still think of me

  I held my breath as he looked at me, not speaking. Hell, I don't think either of us were breathing.

You know what I want

You know what I need

I know when you're gone

You won't even think of me

  "I love you Taylor." he whispered before leaning in and kissing me.

Tell me what I want to hear

I don't care if you're lying baby

I just want to feel you touch me right now

So go ahead and call it love

Tomorrow you can deny it baby

Whisper my name, baby no shame

Is it so wrong?

Baby, lead me on

  I turned to look at her sleeping peacefully in her bed. I know I probably shouldn't leave like this but it's best to leave before she woke up and we were both left with unanswered questions. With one last look, I turned and left.

I know what you want

I know what you need

I know when I'm gone

You won't even think about me

Baby, lead me on

  I rolled over, mentally preparing myself. Instead I find the spot beside me empty. I should have known better. It wasn't like we actually talked about what last night meant. Sighing I rolled to lay where he had been only hours earlier.  The pillow still smelled like him and I could kick myself. What was I thinking doing that last night? I hadn't seen him in so long and I was finally getting over it, despite his calls and now, well now I don't know where I am.

  "Damn you Timberlake." I muttered dragging my lazy body out of bed. 

  As I showered my mind flashed through our relationship. The good, the bad, the worse. We started off as friends, having met while I was temping at his record label a few years ago. We instantly clicked, both from the south and sports lovers. Then somewhere along the way things got muddled, having crossed that line where we went from friends to friends with benefits. And it worked for a while. Neither of us wanted a steady relationship but the more and more time we spent together, the more and more I began to see him in a different light. I stopped looking at other guys, started turning down dates in order to spend more time with Justin.

  The whole time I was doing this, he never really gave any idication he wanted more. But me, being the stupid girl I am, blurted out 'I want more than fucking' one night while we were fooling around on my couch.

  I'll never forget the look on his face when he pulled back. I'll never forget the way I felt when I saw his face. God, I really need to learn to think before I speak. He pulled back and sat at the opposite end of the couch, probably trying to get as far away from me as possible, I don't blame him. I wanted to get as far away from me as possible.

  "What?" He asked with a light chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. "What does that mean?"

  I don't even really remember what I said to him. I think I stuttered something along the lines of possibly having feelings for him and wanting to try the whole 'being exclusive' thing. I remember sitting there with him for a while, neither of us speaking until he finally said 'I gotta go' and then he left.

  We didn't speak or see each otherfor two weeks after that.

  "Hello?" I answered the phone, holding my breath, hoping it was Justin.

  "Hey. What'ca doing?" My best friend, Lori asked.

  "Just got out of the shower." I pulled the towel tighter around me as I walked into the bedroom. "What's up?"

  "Nothing, thinking about maybe getting some lunch and I was hoping you'd like to join me." She paused. "Maybe do some shopping afterwards."

  "Yea, I could do that."

  "Great! I'll pick you up in an hour or so."

  "Later." I hung up the phone.

  Should have know he wouldn't be calling me. That's so like him. Bastard.

 "Come in!" I yell.

  "Hey."

  I turned to see Justin leaning against my kitchen counter, like he didn't have a care in the world.

  He shrugged. "Food." He grinned nodding towards the plate of lasanga I just made for myself.

  Yea right if you think I'm sharing with you. Instead I grabbed another plate.

  "How are you?" He asked as I handed him the plate.

  "Fine." I walked past him to the living room, TV already on.

  I saw down without asking how he was. What the hell is he doing here? I haven't seen or heard from him in almost a month, the cold shoulder is all he deserved right about now.

  We sat in silence for a few minutes. It was taking everything I had not to snap at him for not calling and then just showing up. But then again, why the hell would he call me? We aren't dating. Shit, we're hardly even friends.

  "So..." He trailed off, glancing at me.

  "So what?" Still not looking at him.

  "You ok?"

  "Fine."

  "The bitch attitude says otherwise." He snapped.

  I faced him. "What are you doing here?"

  He shrugged. "I was in town and hadn't talked to you in a while."

  "Who's fault is that?"

  "The phone works both way you know." He rolled his eyes.

  "Yea, well maybe I didn't want to talk to you. Did you ever think about that?"

  I was really pissed. Who does he think he is? He cannot keep messing with my head. If he wants to be friends, fine, we'll be friends. Only friends. None of that 'with benefits' bullshit we did before. But if he wants more, well...that's another story. We broke up for a reason, we just don't work like that.

  "Is this about last time?" he asked, voice soft.

  I hugged, placing my plate on the table beside the couch. "What makes you think that?" I crossed my arms over my chest. "I mean, since when are you the type to hit it and run?"

  "Hey, come on now. Low blow."

  I looked over at him, suprised at the hurt look in his eyes. Yea, well, whatever. I'm hurt too. My head hurts, my heart hurts, everything hurts when it comes to him.

  "I'm really sorry." He glanced up at me. "I don't know what I was thinking."

  "You obviously weren't."

  He sighed and put the plate down in front of him. "Taylor, come on, don't pick a fight. We both wanted it. You even said so."

  So what? I did want it. I knew what I was doing but he should have known better then to just leave. That's what cowards do. There was so much I wanted to say to him. I wanted to tell him how pissed I was, how hurt and confused I was. But it wouldn't make a difference. We won't be together again and I don't really want that.

  Everyone thinks the Justin Timberlake is this great guy but he's really not that great. He's kind of an asshole. Selfish, arrogant, uncompromising, stubborn. Sure, he puts on a good show for the media and his fans but behind closed doors, he can be the devil. That's part of the reason we broke up. I couldn't handle the whole Dr Jekylle and Mr Hyde thing he's got going on.

  "Look, I'm really sorry. I just got scared." He started. "I was scared of what would happen when you woke up. We just don't work like that, the being in a relationship thing. It's not good for us-"

  "I know that." I swear, he's dumber then hell sometimes.

  He narrowed his eyes at me, annoyed I interrupted him. "We were just....looking for a little fun?" I could see the grin he was trying to hide and it almost made me smile. Almost.

  "Honestly, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left like that. That was a douchbag thing to do." He paused. "Forgive me?"

  Of course, stupid girl that I am, I had forgiven him the second I saw him in my kitchen. He always does this to me. Giving that stupid smile that I want to smack right off his face and looking all cute. I swear, if this retard didn't mean so much to me, I'd kick him in places that would make it next to impossible to ever have kids. 

  That's a good laugh. Justin with kids of his own. Heaven help the woman he ever ended up with.

  "Whatever." I rolled my eyes and turned back to the TV.

  He coughed to cover up a laugh and I rolled my eyes again. Idiot.

  "I'm going to see a band tomorrow night."

  I turned back to look at him. "Random."

  He smiled. "Thought you might like to come. Trace and Rachel might come too."

  "Details."

  "This band I'm thinking about signing. I want to see them live." He shrugged. "The demo was really good."

  "Yea, I could do that." If there is one thing I love, it's live music. I'm a strong believer in music makes everything better. You can almost tell the type of mood I'm in by the music I'm playing. If you went through my collection, on vinyl by the way, you'd swear I'm schizophrenic. What can I say? I like all kinds of music.

  He nodded then got to his feet. "I'm gonna go but I'll text you the details tomorrow."

  What? Short visit.

  "Oh, well, ok." I stood and followed him to the door.

  "Later." He leaned in and for a second I thought he was going to kiss me but his lips grazed my cheek.

~

  "Tay!" I smiled when I saw Trace , arms raised above his head, beer bottle in hand.

  "Hey guys." I took a seat next to Rachel.

  "Glad you came." She gave me a quick hug. "I don't know  if I can take these two by myself all night."

  I laughed and Trace flipped her off.  I looked around the crowd at the bar. This isn't really Justin's scene and I'm wondering what the hell he's doing here. I mean, he's more into the commerical stuff right now. The whole pop/R&B thing. This crowd was more like something you'd see at a Daughtry show. It was more my kind of thing.

  "Where's Justin?" I asked when I noticed he wasn't sitting with us.

  "Phone." Tracr craned his head around me to what I can only assume is a girl in a short dress or tight jeans.

  "These guys any good?" I looked around the crowd again. We were sitting tothe side of the stage about halfway back. I'd rather be closer but I'll take what I can get.

  They both shrugged "I haven't heard anything."

  I nodded and could see Justin make his way through the mass of bodies milling around the bar, his head down and ball cap pulled low. Always paranoid someone's going to recognize him. I almost want to tell him to get over himself, it's been like three years since he's put an album out.

  "Hey." He sat down at the table with us.

  "Hey."

  "They'll be on any minute."

  Two hours later, I'm in lust. The lead singer of the band is gorgeous and the fact that he can sing, oh my God. He's got this stage presences that makes it impossible to tear my eyes away from him. He's moving around the stage like he owns it and it's probably the hottest thing I've ever seen in my life. And he keeps flashing this smile that makes my mouth water. Weird, I know but he's amazing. It's to the point where if Justin doesn't sign these guys, I'm going to beat down the door of every label until someone sign them. Anything to see this guy smile.

  When the set ended I think I was the first at our table on my feet. I'm sure the three of them were looking at me funny as I made a fool of myself but I really didn't care. I have to meet this guy.

  "Let's go." Justin motioned towards the backstage area.

  My heart dropped to my stomach. What? We're going backstage? If I'd know I was going to meet the perfect guy, I'd dressed a little more slutty. I'm in jeans and a fucking Rooney concert t-shirt that I've had for years. I followed behind Trace and Rachel, running my fingers through my hair in hopes of getting all the knots out.

  I stopped dead in the doorway when I saw him. He's better up close. So much fucking better.

  "Taylor, come here." Trace waved for me.

  I walked closer to the group of guys standing with Justin, Trace and Rachel. I need to get my shit together, I don't want to look like a dumbass in front of this guy.

  "Taylor, Ethan." Justin introduced us.

  "Hey." He smiled at me.

  "Hey." Oh my God, my knees just went a little weak. I'm starting to feel like one of Justin's crazy fans.

  "Enjoy the show?" Ethan asking looking at each of us.

  "Yea, it was great." Rachel said and Trace nodded. I could only stand there.

  I saw Justin shoot me a weird look. "What?" I sna. "I liked the show."

  "Good, I'm glad." Ethan grinned at me. "But none of that matters if this guy didn't like it." He looked at Justin.

  "No, man, I did. It was great. You guys really got the crowd going." Jusitn looked at him and the other guys in the band. All of them looking really pleased with themselves.

  "You can say that again." I take another long look at Ethan.

  All heads snapped to me. Shit, did I say that out loud?

  Trace laughed and slung his arm around my shoulder. "Girl, you need to get laid."

  "Shut up." I punched him in the side. I could feel my face flame up.

  "Well, on that note, we're going to go." Rachel laughed. "It was nice meeting you guys. We'll meet you outside." She looked at Justin.

  He nodded, eyeing me funny. "Yea, I'll be out in a minute."

  "Oh my God." I moaned, covering my face with my hands. "I'm an idiot." I leaned against the side of my care. "You can say that again?! Who says that?" Trace and Rachel laugh. "You guys are not making this better."

  "it's fine." Rachel said, still laughing. "I'm sure he's used to women throwing themselves at him all the time."

  "Yea, I mean, so you practically told him you wanted to fuck him. Maybe he'll take you up on it." Trace laughed harder.

  "I hate you both." I groaned. "Not funny."

  "It really was."

  I can't believe I said that. I'm usually so much smoother than that. I'll never be able to face Ethan again. If Justin signs them, I'll never be able to go to a show.

  "Hey. So you gonna sign them or what?" Trace asked as Justin walked across the parking lot.

  "As Taylor." He grinned at me. "If that's the reaction I'm going to get from women, you bet your ass I am."

  I could feel my face heat up again. "I hate you guys."

  They laughed. "Come on, you have to admit, it was pretty funny."

  "No, not really." I looked down at the parking lot. "I have never been so embarrassed in my life."

  "On the bright side, you just made my decision easier." Justing shrugged. "I was leaning towards yes already but your reaction gave me the push I needed to sign them."

  "Glad to be of service." I turned to unlock my door. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going home to slit my wrist now. Later."

  I closed the door, leaving the three of them laughing at my humiliation.

  "Taylor?"

  I look up from the stack of demo CD's I had been shuffling through. Oh God. Ethan and the band. Here. Right now. So am I.

  At least I look cute today.

  "Hey." I grin.

  "I'll be out in a sec." He said to the group of guys who stood waiting for him.

  He wants to talk to me alone? Don't say or do anything stupid!

  "So...what'ca got there?" He pointed at the stack of CDs I'm holding.

  "Demos." I shrug.  "Just headed upstairs to check them out."

  "You work here?"

  "Yea, Justin lured me back." I had been working at Sony in the artist development department but it wasn't really my thing. Justin offered me a full time job at Tennmen because I had such a 'great ear for music'. That's a direct quote.

  He gave me a nod. "I should have waited til you came back here then." I look at him funny. "If I'd know I had a chance to meet with you instead of Justin, that would have been something much prettier to look at."

  Damn it! I felt my face flush again. What is it with this guy that turns me into a twelve year old girl? "I probably would have been harder to impress than Justin."

  He let out a laugh. "Maybe if I would have had to ask you to dinner, you'd go easy on me."

  "I might have said yes and still signed you." 

  He licked his lips and rubbed the back of his neck. "Ok, well, so I'm asking now."

  "Ok." Wait- what? Did he just ask me out? And did I just say yes?

  I couldn't help but smile at his bright smile. I guess I did say yes. I reach out and grab the cell phone he's holding in his hand.

  "Call me." I smile up at him, handing the phone back after I programmed my number in it.

  "Later." He promises. "I gotta go, the guys are waiting."

  "I gotta get to work too." I lift the stack of CDs. "I'll be waiting."

  "Bye." He smiles at me again, waving as he jogs towards the door.

  I took the elevator up to the fourth floor and walked down the hall to my office.  Before heading to sit down, I dropped a CD into the player and started it.

  As the music started I couldn't help but replay what had just happened. I hadn't see Ethan in a few weeks, not since Justin had signed them. I'm not sure why he was at the label but I'm assuming they were the first ones to use the new studio that was recently finished downstairs.

  A giddy smiled broke out on my face and I couldn't hold back the giggle. I feel like I had just discovered how awesome boys can be. I know I probably shouldn't get too excited. I mean, he could turn out to be a real loser but I'm sure I could put a few dates in before I'd get tired of that. That man is amazing with a capital A.

  "Hey. Busy?" Justin stuck his head in the open door.

  I shook my head and leaned back in the chair.

  He walked across the room and sat down across from me. "These the demos?"

  "Yea, I'm not so sure I'm liking this though." I made a face at the girl singing a cover of Alicia Keys. "Her voice isn't that strong."

  He sat and listened for a minute. "Yea, trash it."

  I laughed. "That's kinda cruel, you think?"

  "So keep it if you want." He grinned.

  I roll my eyes at him before getting up to change the CD. "I saw Ethan and the guys downstairs."

  "Yea, they were recording some stuff."

  "How's it sound?" I hope I don't sound overly interested. That's the last thing I need. Justin to make fun of me for this crush.

  "It's good. But I'm not suprised. The demo was good, they were great live." He paused. "I'd be suprised if they sucked but I think we're good."

  I nod and lean against my desk. "You....you know he asked me out." 

  Why did I tell him that? This man is my ex-boyfriend and my boss, kind of. He owns the label but he's got someone else who oversees the day to day business.

  "Oh....well...ok then." I can't read the look on his face. "Like, just now?"

  I swallow. "Yea, downstairs."

  He just sat there. Not talking, not moving. I can't figure out what this means. Is he pissed? Shocked? Does he even care?

  He stood up before I could say anything else. "Just don't let it interfere with work. Either of you."

  I gave him a short nod and he walked out the door. 

  What the hell was that?

~

  I cannot remember the last time I had ever had this much fun on a date.  I feel like a kid again.

  "So, who won?" Ethan asked as I tally up the scores.

  "Hang on." I grin. Ha! "You, my friend, owe me a beer."

  "No way!" He reaches out and grabs the score card out of my hands. 

  I laugh as we make out way inside. Three little boys come running out and I jump back to avoid being trampled, causing me to back right into him.

  Heaven on earth, I swear to God. His hands grip my hips, putt-putt still in his right hand and my heart rate triples.

  "Your hole in one killed me." He smiled as he let go of me. 

  Be still my heart. "I told you I'm a master putt-putter."

  "That you did. So, how 'bout that beer?"

  Two hours later we're sitting at a bar near my apartment, drinking beer and having a great time. I haven't really connected with a guy like this since....well, since Justin actually.

  Shit. Why am I thinking about him? 

  "Hold still." He reached a hand out towards my face.

  What is this guy doing?

  His thumb pressed against my cheek and then he pulled back. "Eyelash."  He held his hand in front of my face. "Make a wish."

  Yea, I'll do that. Once I get control of my urge to throw you on the floor and rip your clothes off. Leaning in, I close my eyes to make the wish and the next thing I know, his lips are on mine.

  First, I'm in shock but it quickly passes. His hands reach out and cup my face and I swear, I think I'm going to pass out. This has to be the most amazing kiss I've ever had. It's slow and deep, his tongue reaching out teasingly. The way his hands are holding my face, like he's not going to let go. 

  Best. Date. Ever.

  I know I shouldn't be standing outside this door but I can't help it. I want to see him.

  I need help. Seriously, I have problems.

  Taking a deep breath, preparing myself for who may be in the studio, I push the door open. It takes a minute for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. Why do people always keep it so damn dark in here? Don't you need to see the controls? I look around to see three members of Ethan's band, two producers and Ethan sitting around, heads bobbing to the beat of the music that's playing.

  He looks up and smiles when he sees me. Inwardly, I'm squealing like a little girl. The things this man does to me is ridiculous. He motions for me to come closer but I shake my head and lean against the wall. 

  I do have some limits, like no jumping him while he's working.

  We've been casually dating for a few weeks now and it's great. He's funny and sweet and we get along really well. We've been spending time together ever chance we get, which right now is kind of hard between my work and him recording but we're trying. That fact alone makes me like him that much more.

  The door beside me opens and I straighten up when Justin walks in. I give him a small smile and he returns it.

  "Hanging out?" He asks quietly.

  I nod. "Lunch break." He returns the nod and we stand in silence, listening to the music.

  "Hey guys, good news." Justin says once the song ends and all eyes turn to him. "We've got you a small club tour started for you guys. First show is next week."

  The guys all erupt in cheers and questions. I can only stand here, torn. I'm happy for them, don't get me wrong. I know they're all dying to play live again. They've been locked in this studio for weeks on end and they're itchng to get out there but I don't want Ethan to leave yet. We're still so new and undefined that I'm scared what's going to happen. I've never been very good with long distance relationships.

  "That's good news, right?" Ethan smiles as I move to stand next to him.

  "Great news." I force a smile. 

  It is great news, he needs this. The band needs this. I know Justin and I know he'll have the best places picked out for them and it'll be a great way for them to get their name out there. Draw a bigger fan base.

  He's practically bouncing he's so excited. I gotta admit, it's kind of contagious. I couldn't help but be excited for him. 

  Screw it, I've still got a week left with him.

~

  A week. Who was I kidding? Ethan spent every single second in that studio that week, right up until he left last week. I only saw him a handful of times before he left.

  So now I'm sitting, alone, at home, bored to tears. I need to get out of this house.

  I dial the number so familiar to me and wait for someone to answer.

  "Hello?"

  "Lori, put some clothes on, we're going out."

  "Huh?" She asks.

  "I've got to get out of this house. Let's go somewhere."

  "He's been gone a week." She sighs. "Fine, pick me up in a half an hour."

  Several hours and several drinks later, I'm tittering at the almost drunk line. This probably wasn't the best idea but I'm lonely and was out with my best friend in the world. Why the hell not relax and have a few drinks?

  "Hey! Trace and Justin are here!" Lori yells over the music, waving her hand above her head.

  I turn to look and damn it, she's right. Well, at least I can get Justin to pay for my drinks.

  "Damn Taylor, drink much?" Trace grins, sliding into the booth nex to Lori.

  "Ha ha." I roll my eyes as Justin slides in next to me.

  The waitress brings around round of shots to the table and I immediately reach for one. Closing my eyes, I bring the glass to my lips and thow it back. I cringe as it burns down my throat. I'm not a huge whiskey drinker but it sounded like a good idea tonight.

  "Maybe you should take it easy." Justin says, voice full of concern as he eyes the empty shot glasses littering the table.

  "Maybe you should butt out." I chase the shot with a long swallow of the beer sitting in front of me.

  Again, I never said I was smart. Mixing beer and liquor. I'm feeling pretty good right now but I know I'll be hurting tomorrow. On the bright side, it's Sunday so I've got all day to recover.

  An hour later, I'm completely wasted. To the point where Lori should have already taken me home but I haven't seen her in a while and I'm having too good a time dancing. She can't find me if I stay in the crowd on the dance floor.

  The song changes to a slower tempo and I close my eyes, swaying. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I realize I might look like a drunken idiot, Scratch that. I know I look like a drunken idiot. I'm standing on the dance floor, eyes closed, swaying...by myself. I really wish Ethan was here with me but noooo, he's across the country. Thanks a lot Justin.

  "Want some company?"

  I turn to face the voice and everything passes in a blur of faces and colors. That's it, no more drinking for me tonight.

  Justin's standing in front of me, a small smile on his face. "Or are you ready to go?"

  "Nope." I hear my words slur and cringe. "Dance."

  "Taylor, come on. Let's get you home." He reaches for me and I want to move back but he's fucking quick. His hands grip my shoulders and he pulls me closer to him.

  "Whoa." I groan softly as my stomach turns at the sudden movement. "Hang on."

  He stops moving and looks down at me. "Do not throw up. Let's go to the bathroom."

  "No, no, I'm good." I take a deep breath and the sick feeling passes. I look at him and he looks so cute, standing here taking care of me. I give him a small smile and step closer to him, arms wrapping around his neck. "Dance with me." 

  He stiffens in my arms. "You need to get home." He doesn't look at me as he reaches for my hands and tries to pry them from around his neck.

  "Come on. Just one dance." I start to move my hips against his. "Don't be shy."

  He slides his hands down my arms and rests them on my shoulders. "Taylor..." The tone in his voice is full of warning.

  "You know how to do this." I whisper, still moving my body against his. I know this isn't Ethan but at this point I'm so drunk, I'd dance with the wall.

  He stands there another second before moving his hands to grip my hips, pulling me closer and I gasp at how close his face his to mine. I can feel his breath on my lips. Instinctively I lick my lips and I swear his eyes change colors.

  I turn in his arms, his hands still on my hips. I grip his wrists and move my backside against him at what I can only hope is seductive.

  "This is a bad idea." He whispers, his lips close to my ear. Close enough to feel.

  "You going to tell on me?" I turn my head to face him a little.

  His face is close to mine again. I don't think I've ever wanted anything so bad in my life. I just want to feel his lips on mine. He's a great kisser. I move my head forward a little and he's doesn't move away.

  "So, you going to tell?" I whisper, our lips brushing.

  "There you are!" I hear Lori's voice before I can see her. Justin takes a huge step backwards, away from me and I almost stumble at the loss of something to hold on to.

  She steps through the crowd and eyes both of us. "Everything ok?" She looks back and forth between Justin and myself.

  "Yea, she's trashed." Justin says. I can see him swallow. Traitor.

  "So, let's go then. Trace's waiting outside." She turns and heads back through the moving bodies.

  Justin looks at me. "You gonna make it outside?" I nod and follow after her.

  We meet up with Trace outside in the parking lot and I notice that Lori's not in any condition to be driving either. 

  Well, shit. How I'm supposed to get home now?

  "Dude, they can't drive." Trace sighs looking at Justin.

  "Take Lori home." Justin opens the car door and motions for Lori to get in. "I'll take Taylor home."

  "You ok with that?" Lori looks at me from the passenger seat of her car.

  "Yea, it's just Justin." I shrug, still too drunk to really understand what's goin on.

  "Ok, I'll call you tomorrow." She says, pulling the door close.

  Trace gives me a once over and laughs. "Good luck with her." He pats Justin on the shoulder as he walks around the car to get in.

  "Let's go." Justin looks at me. "Don't puke in my car."

  "I won't." I stick my tongue out at him.

  The ride to my apartment is silent, only the music playing. He's listening to John Lennon and I have to smile. Only Justin would listen to John Lennon before going out for a night of drinking.  

  "Can you make it inside?" He asks parking in front of my apartment complex. "Or do you want me to walk you to the door?"

  "I'm fine. I'm not that drunk." I reach for the door handle. "Go home." I open the door and step outside, falling on my ass.

  "Jesus Christ." He mutters turning the car off.

  Before I can process that I'm sitting on the hard concrete of the parking lot, he's pulling me to my feet. 

  "You're going to be in so much pain tomorrow." He says. I just rest my head against his shoulder as he maneuvers us to the elevator and then the door to my apartment. "Keys?" He asks.

  I pull away from him and open my cluth to search for them. "Here." I hand them over.

  He unlocks the door and pulls me inside. "You need coffee." He says and walks towards the kitchen. I drop my purse to the floor and follow behind him, glad to be home. I pause in the doorway of the kitchen and watch him move around the small space, grabbing a mug from the cabinet and turing on the coffee maker.

  Once it starts brewing he lets out a deep sigh and leans his back against the counter, hands reaching out and holding on to it. I don't miss the way his eyes move over my bare legs and then back up to my face. His tongue reaches out and wets his lips.

  That's it.

  I move quickly across the small kitchen and attack his mouth. I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him down and press myself against him.  I can feel his arms wrap around my waist, fingers sliding under my top. I open my mouth and force my tongue in his mouth. He moans and pulls me closer.

  This is so stupid, I know that but I can't stop myself. His hands move down over my ass and he grips the back of my thighs. I react instantly as he lifts me up, wrapping my legs around him. He moves through the kitchen, bumping into the wall when I move my lips down his neck, licking the hollow of his throat.

  My fingers slide between us and I reach down to undo his belt buckle as he pulls my top off, throwing it somewhere behind me.  He eyes my body before kissing down my neck and chest. I finally get his belt undone and slide my hands under his jeans. His lips stop all movement and he press my back against the wall. I push his jeans and boxers down and sneak a glance at his face. His eyes are closed tight, mouth hanging open. I grin and press my lips to his throat again, licking my way up to his ear.

  "You just gonna stand there?" I whisper, flicking my tongue against his ear. "Or you gonna do something?"

  He growls and reaches under my skirt to pull my panties down. "Oh, I'm going to do something." He returns the grin I have on my face before pressing his lips against mine. I moan into his mouth as his fingers reach out and tease me.

  There's only so much I can take and I've reached that point. My hips start to move involuntarily against his fingers, his lips leaving a wet trail from my collar to my ear.

   "Justin, please." I groan out. "Please."

  "Please what?" He whispers against my ear before pressing a open mouth kiss just under it.

  I groan in frustration and move myself harder against his fingers. "Stop with the fucking games and do it already."

  He chuckles and sucks on the sensitive skin under my ear. "Hang on then."

  I let out a load groan as he slides in. "Oh my God."

  He tightens his grip on my hips before moving them to grip underneath me and I adjust my grip around his neck as he moves in and out.

  "Fuck Taylor." He moans, forehead pressed against my shoulder. I close my eyes and drop my head back, banging it against the wall.

  I can feel the end coming, my toes tingling. "Oh God...please." I pant and pull my head forward to look at him. His eyes lock with mine. Before I can open my mouth, he surges our lips together and that's all it takes.

  His hips slow to a stop and we're both breathing heavy.

  "I love you." He says so quietly and I'm not sure if he actually says it.

~

  My head feels like it's going to explode. The sunlight peeking through my bedroom window only making things worse. I reach my hand out to grab the pillow next to my head instead I connect with something else.

  "What the fuck?" He grumbles, voice full of sleep.

  My eyes snap open and I turn my head to see who is laying in my bed.

  "Damn Taylor, what'd you hit me for?" Justin sits up, rubbing his face where I had hit him.

  Oh God. What is he doing here? Why is he shirtless? Wait...I pull the sheets back. Why am I naked?

  What the fuck happened? I don't remember anything from last night.

  "You're not going to puke are you?" He looks at me.

  I shake my head and pull the sheet higher. "I don't think so." That might be speaking too soon. Cause right now, I've never felt to sick in my life.

  "Oh God." I moan, closing my eyes. "What happened?"

  I felt him shift next to me. "Sorry?"

  "Justin, what happened?" 

  "You really don't remember?"

  I sit up quicky, anger taking over. "If I fucking remembered, I wouldn't be asking you would I?"

  "Alright, calm down." He holds his hands up in mock surrender. "You got trashed last night."

  "That doesn't explain why I'm naked!"

  "I'm getting there." He reaches out and runs a hand over his head. It takes him a minute to talk again and it's taking everything I have not to flip out on him. "Trace and I went out and saw you and Lori at the club. You were hammered and Lori couldn't drive so I brought you home. Trace took her." He pauses and I let out an annoyed sigh. "I brought you inside and started coffe and then you....you attacked me."

  "I'm sorry....I attacked you?"

  He blushes. Justin Timberlake does not blush. Now I'm scared.

  "Well, yea, kind of. I was standing there and you just attacked me." He pauses again and an amused smile forms on his face. "Practically ripped my clothes off."

  I draw my knees up and rest my face on them. "This is bad. This is really bad."

  For once in his life, he keeps his mouth shut.

  He needs to go. Like right now. How am I going to tell Ethan? What is he going to say? I know what he's going to say, 'peace out bitch'.

  I groan. I am such a dumbass.

  "You don't have to tell him." 

  My head snaps to the man in my bed. He really is an idiot. 

  "You need to leave." I really want to smack the shit out of him.

  He just looks at me. He lets out a humorless laugh before throwing the covers back.

  He's totally fucking naked. I turn my head away. 

  "Put some fucking clothes on!" I yell. "God damn."

  I can hear him muttering under his breath but I really don't care. I need him to leave.

  "You have issues." He says.

  I turn back towards him, thankful he's dressed. "Whatever. Just go."

  He shakes his head, rolling his eyes. "It's be real Taylor."

  I throw a pillow towards the doorway but it misses him. A second later, the front door slams shut.

  What the hell have I done?

  I chew on my lip waiting for the front door to open.

  "Hey." I give Justin a shy smile. 

  "So now you want to talk?" He doesn't move.

  OK, so I knew this wasn't going to be easy. We haven't talked in a week, which normally isn't that weird but he's be at the label every day so passing him in the halls or seeing him across the lobby...yea, that's weird. 

  "Can I come in?" 

  "Why?" He raises his hand to the door, just above his head. "What could you possible have to say to me?"

  "Please Justin?"

  "Fine." He sighs and opens the door for me.

  "Thanks." I walk past him and towards the kitchen. "I made cookies earlier and thought you might want some."

  He looks at the plastic container I laid on the counter. "Thanks."

  I shuffle my feet. "So look, I'm really sorry about...well, about what happened. I acted like a total bitch and you didn't really deserve that."

  "You're right about that."

  I fight the urge to roll my eyes. I knew he'd find a way to blame this whole thing on me but he knew I was drunk and he knows I'm dating Ethan. But I need to be the bigger person.

  "I'm really, really sorry. There's no excuse for the way I acted."

  His eyes search mine for a minute. "Fine. Let's just forget about it."

  "Really?" I ask holding my breath.

  He shrugs. "Yea, it was a mistake. Besides, it's not like I was the picture of innocence." He grins at me, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. "I could have said no. It's not like you overpowered me."

  I feel my face flame up. God, I can only imagine what happened cause I still haven't got the slightest clue. 

  "So, cookies huh?" He reachs for the tupperware and lifting the lid. "You made these?"

  "Yea, I figured it might help with the whole begging for forgiveness thing."

  "It helps." He brings a cookie to his mouth and takes a bite. "Thanks."

  "I brought something else too." I reach into my bag. "You have to listen to this demo. This girl is amazing. I've never heard anything like her before."

  I walk to the living room and put the CD into the CD player. "I'm telling you, she will amaze you."

  He settles into the couch. "I'm waiting to be amazed then."

  I grin and hit play. I listened to this demo late last night and immediately fell in love with her voice. After listening to it three times, I seriously thought of driving over to Justin's house at midnight but figured that wouldn't go over so well.

  I stood there, stupid smile on my face and watched him for a reaction.

  Reading his face is hard. He's had years of practice in keeping it unreadable. But his eyes always gave him away. That was something he couldn't help no matter how hard he tried.

  I knew he was hooked the second she hit the chorus. His face remained motionless but his eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas day and I knew, I fucking knew it was a done deal.

  He opens his mouth to speak but I held up a finger as the song ends. "Wait, there's one more that I need you to hear."

  He nods. "So the this one is completely different that the first one but I'm telling you, she's got something." I press play again and watch him.

  The second song is harder, meaner. Sure, it's a guy-bashing song. Hell, the name of it is 'Nobody's Wife' but this is the song that sold me. Her name is Anouk and her voice is killer. The lyrics are amazing.

I'm sorry for the times I didn't come home

Left you lying in that bed alone

was flying in the sky when you needed my shoulder

you're like a stone hanging round my neck, see

cut it loose before it breaks my back, see

I've gotta say what I feel before I grow old

  The song ends and I watch him lean forward, hands on his knees.

  "Name?" He asks.

  "Anouk. She's from the Netherlands." 

  He nods. "Play it again."

  I break into a huge smile. "Sure."

  A hour later, we're still listening to the demo. Both with a beer in hand this time. For some reason, neither of us can stop it from repeating.

  "She's really great." He motions towards the CD player. 

  "Yea." I'm pretty pleased with myself right now. It's like, I don't know how to explain it. It's almost like finding this great secret and wanting to share it with everyone but in this industry, you want to keep it to yourself until you've got the artist signed. The last thing you want is a fight between two labels because the artists usually signs with the one that throws around the most money.

  Sucks that it happens but that's reality.

  "So Ethan'll be back soon." He says.

  I nod.

  "You going to tell him?"

  I shrug.

  I'm really clueless on how to handle this one. I mean, Ethan and I haven't really talked about what we are. How am I to know he's not hooking up with other girls on while on the road? I talk to him almost ever day and he doesn't say anything or make it seem like the was any reason not to trust him but still.

  "What are you guys anyways?" He asks bringing the beer bottle to his lips. "Are you like, exclusive?"

  I almost laugh at the word. "I don't know."

  He turns to me. "You don't know?"

  I shake my head. "We haven't really talked about it."

  "Oh."

  I look at him, slightly uncomfortable having this conversation with him. With everything that's happened between us, before and just recently, it just feels wrong.

  His eyes meet mine and there's this weird moment that passes between us. 

  The CD stops and I blink, snappng whatever was happening. He chuckles as I bring the beer bottle to my lips and take a long pull.

  "Not that it matters to me," He starts, standing up and walking towards the kitchen. "I don't think he's good enough for you."

  My jaw drops, slightly shocked and at a loss of words. I don't know how to respond to that. I just watch his back move around to the other side of the island. He reaches into the fridge and pulls another beer out.

  He turns to face me. I'm still looking at him, jaw slack. He twists the lid off the bottle and he looks over at me. 

  "You what?" I finally get out. What the hell does that mean, Ethan's not good enough for me? Justin's never seen us even interact together, apart from that first night. I cringe when I remember what a fool I made of myself.

  "I don't mean anything by it. It's just...how well do you really know him?" He shrugs. "Don't get me wrong, I like the guy. A lot. But you need someone who really understands you." He pauses, searching for what to say next. "Taylor, you're special. There...there aren't a lot of people like you."

  We both blush at his words. I'm completely in shock. 

  "Thanks." I grin.

  He rolls his eyes. "Don't let it go to your head."

  And we're back to normal.

  I groan rolling over in the bed. There is no fucking way someone is knocking on my door at 9 am on a Saturday. At least, not someone who doesn't have a death wish.

  Maybe if I ignore them, they'll go away.

  *knock, knock* Or maybe they won't.

  I fling the covers back and head towards the obnoxious knocking. I'm kind of hopng it's some crazy door to door salesman so I can rip him a new one.

  I swing the door open, prepared to flip out on this person but all thoughts leave my mind when I see Ethan standing there, a bag from Dunkin Donuts in his hand.

  "Morning." He grins. "I would say I hope I'm not waking you but that would ruin the plan."

  I stand there, mouth open. What the hell is he doing here? I talked to him last night, only a few hours ago actually and he was in Florida.

  "I've rendered her speechless."

  "You wish." I smile opening the door wider to allow him in. "It's the bag that's left me speechless."

  He laughs as we make our way to the kitchen. "I hope you're not too pissed about waking you up."

  I shake my head pouring a glass of milk. "Nah, I was up anyways."

  He eyes my pajamas and tangled hair. "I'm sure you were."

  I turn, leaning against the counter and smile at him. "It's a nice suprise."

  "You're welcome."

  "So, got plans for today?" I ask biting into the donut. He is a God, bringing me a chocolate covered piece of heaven. 

  He shrugs. "Nope."

  "No recording?" I raise an eyebrow.

  "Nope, I'm yours all day."

  I smile. "Ok.....well let me take a shower and we'll go do something."

  Almost an hour later we're driving down the freeway and he's telling me about all the shows they've been doing and how great the crowds have been.

  I can only look at him. I'm so happy to see him. I didn't realize how much I missed him until I opened the door this morning. It's an amazing and scary feeling all at the same time. I never thought I'd feel this strongly about him so quickly. Not that I love him but I can definitely see that happening.

  "I need to ask you something." He reaches out and places his hand on my knee.

  "Ok. What's up?" I turn in the seat to face him a little better.

  He doesn't speak for a few seconds and I can't read his face. He won't look at me.

  "Everything ok?" I ask placing a hand on his. "Cause you're freaking me out a little."

  He shoots me a quick smile. "Everything's fine." He gives my knee a squeeze. "Ok, so I know we haven't really talked about this and I know things are kinda crazy for me right now and I'm sure it'll only get worse but I gotta know," He pauses.  "What is this?"

  Huh? What's what? What is he talking about? I turn to look out the window. Did we pass something?

  "Us, Taylor. What are we doing." He laughs.

  Oh, I knew that. Damn it! "Um....I don't know."

  "I just want to let you know that there's no one else for me. Not since that first date."

  I swallow. Wow. That's kinda big. "For me either." 

  As soon as those words leave my lips I mentally kick myself. Justin's face flashes in my mind. Do I tell him the truth? We aren't exclusive...yet. I have no idea where he's going with this.

  "Ok." He nods. "I'd like to keep it like that. Just you and me."  He turns to me as we slow to a stop at a red light. "I mean, if you want."

  Hell yes I want. I think. I did the whole 'dating a rock star' thing. With Justin. I cringe again. It's not fun. Being apart for long periods of time. The drama that comes with dating a celebrity. But Ethan is not Justin. At least in terms of 'celebrity'.

  "You with me?"

  I look at him. "Yea, sorry. I checked out for a second." I lick my lips. "Ethan, we don't really know each other that well. We had a couple of dates and then you've been gone for the last three months."

  "I know. That's what made me realize that I didn't want to be with anyone else."

  He always knows what to say. I makes me feel like this is some sort of prince charming thing. He finds the right words to say to make me laugh or smile when I'm having a bad day. Or how to say that comforting thing when the world is out to get me.

  "Ok, that's it then." 

  He turns to me. His eyes search mine, like he's trying to make sure he heard me correctly. He smiles when I smile.

  "Ok, then it's settled." He brings my hand to his face and presses a kiss to the back of it.

  And just like that we're exclusive.

~

  What is it with people knocking at my door at the most inopportuen time? I drag myself from the couch and move towards the door.

  I glance at the clock on the microwave as I pass the kitchen. 11:34 pm. Who is at my house this late at night?

  "Hey, I know it's late. I'm really sorry."

  Justin. What the hell is he doing here? I haven't seen him in almost two weeks.

  "Tay, I'm really sorry but I couldn't wait." He's almost giddy. Eyes bright with excitement, huge smile on his face, bounching back and forth of his feet.

  If it wasn't so late, I'd find his behavior infectious but I'm tired and I was comfortable on the couch.

  Before I can say anything he shoves something in my face. I take it from his hands. A blank CD. Nothing written on it. What the hell is he on?

  I look at him. "What is this?"

  "I signed her!"

  I blink. Signed who? I swear the drugs this guy did yeas ago really messed him up. He always says the most random things. Like he's on some kind of acid trip or something.

  "Anouk!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air like I should have know.

  My brain stops. He signed her? Just like that?

  "I flew to New York, met her, had her sing in the fucking parking lot of the hotel. The parking lot! Signed her as soon as we got into the lobby." He actually jumps when he finishes.

  I let his words process in my head. He flew. To New York. Had her sing. In the parking lot. Then he signed her. Just like that. 

  "That's a week and a half's worth of non-stop recording." He points at the CD in my hand. "It's incredible. This was the best find you've ever made!"

  I look down at the CD in my hand then back up at him.

  "Say something!" He laughs.

  "You signed her?"

  "Yes!" He nods.

  Oh my God! I can't believe it. Befor I can process what I'm doing, I throw my arms around his neck and hug him.

  "Justin that's awesome! I'm so excited for you!" I almost shout in his ear. 

  "Excited for us." He wraps his arms around my waist tightly. "I want you to help produce."  

  I stop breathing. Produce? I don't know anything about that.

  "She's going to be huge." He says, still holdng me close.

  "Taylor?"

  My heart jumps to my throat. Ethan.

  I feel Justin tense up. I release the hold I have around his neck and pull myself from his arms.

  I'm an idiot. 

  "Hey. He just signed that girl I was telling you about." I turn to my boyfriend. That still feels weird and new. "That's great!" Maybe enthusiasm will distract from the fact I was just in another guys arms. Completely innocent but he doesn't know that.

  He looks at Justin, a smile forming on his face. "Yea, that's great man. Congrats."

  "Thanks." Justin says.

  This is not good. My boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend, in my doorway. 

  "He wants me to produce." I blurt out.

  They both look at me like I've grown another head.  Ok, so maybe that was out of left field.

  "What?" Ethan questions, an amused look on his face.

  "Um," I look at Justin. He's got the mask on again and I have no clue what he's thinking. I turn back to look at Ethan. "He ah, he wants me to help produce her album."

  "That's great!" He smiles at me. "I know you'll be great!" He pulls me in for a hug. He pulls back, dropping a quick kiss to my lips.

  "Thanks." I pull away glancing back at Justin. He still hasn't said anything. 

  "You want to come in?" Ehtan asks him.

  I eyes snap to him. Don't invite him in! 

  "We're just watching 'Cheaters'." Ethan tells him.

  "No, I really should go." Justin doesn't look at me. "I just wanted to give you that."

  "I'm glad you did. Thanks." I give him a soft smile.

  He nods. "I'll see you Monday."

  "Later." Ethan says before heading back to the living room.

  I take a step closer to Justin. "Thanks for the CD. And the opportunity. It really means a lot to me."

  His eyes look back towards the living room. "So, are you guys...."

  I bite my bottom lip. I really don't want to tell him what's going on. I know I shouldn't care but I do. We've been through a lot together and I'm not sure how he's going to handle this.

  "Yea." I finally meet his eyes.

  He licks his lips and takes a step back. "Alright." He rocks on his heels. "I'm sorry for stopping by so late. I didn't know."

  "No, it's not like-"

  He holds up a hand to stop me. "I'll just see you Monday."

  "Justin, wait." I take a step towards him.

  He shakes his head and steps away from me again. "It's cool. I'll see you at the office. We'll talk about the album."

  I open my mouth to speak but he turns and heads towards the elevator. He steps in, not even turning around as the doors slide shut.

  Well shit. That's not how I imagined that scenario happening.

  I'm freaking the fuck out right now. It's taking everything I have not to get plastered but I know how far from good that would be for me right now. I scan the room, looking for Ethan and his parents.

  That's right. His parents. 

  The guys finished recording the album about a week ago and the record label was hosting a small party to celebrate. Now I'm all for a good party but two days ago he dropped the bomb on me. His parents were coming out to visit and he wanted me to meet them.

  I do not do well with parents. I get along with mine but other peoples, not so much. I once told an exboyfriends mom that I hated 'Ladies Home Journal' and she turns to me and says 'I'm an editor'. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. 

   So now I'm standing at the bar of the restaurant that was rented out for tonight, hiding. I know, I'm a chicken shit but it's for the best. I really like Ethan and things are going greeat. Meeting his parent will ruin that.

  "There you are!"

  Shit. Caught.

  "Hey." I smile turing to the voice. "I was looking for you."

  "I'm sure you were." He grins. Beside him are what I can only assume are his parents. He looks like a good mix of both of them and it warms my heart a little.

   "Taylor, this is Susan and Bryan, my parents." They come to stop in front of me.

  "It's very nice to meet you." I greet them. 

  "We've heard a lot about you dear." Susan smiles at me. At least she seems friendly.

  I sneak a glance at Ethan and he blushes. So he told his parents about me. That's a good sign.

  "He says you're producing a CD?" Bryan asks.

  "Album, dad. Album." Ethan corrects him, head shaking.

  I laugh. Maybe this won't be so bad.

  An hour later and Ethan has gone off with his parents I can breath easy. I'm very proud of myself. I didn't say anything stupid or offend anyone. In fact, they seemed to really like me. Which can only help move things along with Ethan.

   "Are those his parents?"

  Figures Justin would be lurking around somewhere. "Yep, that's them."

  "Big step." He takes a long pull from his beer bottle. "Kinda soon, huh?"

  Maybe for someone who doesn't know how to commit to another person. "Maybe." I shrug. "But it's important to him."

  "What about you?"

  I shrug again. "If it makes him happy then I'll meet them. They're just people."

  He gave me a skeptical look. 

   "Shut up." I roll my eyes.

  He lets out a laugh. "I didn't say anything."

  "You didn't have to. I know what you're thinking."

   "You don't know shit." He snorts.

   "What is going on?" I snap. I've gotten nothing but attitude from him in the last few weeks, ever since he showed up at my apartment and I've just about had it. 

  He looks at me, eyes slightly wide at my outburst. "Nothing."

  "Bullshit. You've been a real dick and I'm getting a little sick of it."

   He huffs and turns to walk away. "I'm outta here."

  I know he did not just walk away from me. "I'm not done yet!"

  He waves over his shoulder. "Later."

  Fuck that. I'm seeing red at this point. I slam my beer down and stalk after him. We're going to have this out right now one way or another.

  He turns when he hears me behind me. "Don't mess with me right now. I'm not in the mood."

  "Too bad."

  "Go back to your little boyfriend and his perfect parents." He turns away from me again.

  Asshole!

  I follow him out to the parking deck. I know he knows I'm still following him but he's refusing to acknowledge me. He reaches into his pocket to pull his key out and I grab his shoulder to spin him around.

  "Ow Taylor! Fuck!" He yells as his hip hits the review mirror. "What is wrong with you?"

  "You." I yell back. "You asshole!"

  "Go inside." He tries to turn again but I push him back.

  "What is going on?"

  "Go back inside." He practically growls at me.

  "Not until you stop acting like a dick."

  "I'm done." He turns quickly to unlock his car.

  "God damnit!" I yell, grabbing his shoulders and turning him around again.

   His stumbles at the force, his hands grabbing my waist to steady himself. "Stop fucking doing that!" He yells at me again, breathing heavy.

  "Then stop fucking trying to leave!" I yell back, chest heaving as I breath deeply. 

  Then suddenly I grab his face and kiss him. He responds instantly, hands gripping my waist tigther and pulling me closer. He didn't have to do that cause I'm pressing myself as close to him as I can get. Our lips moving together, tongues moving against each other, breaths ragged.

   Somewhere behind me I hear a car alarm go off and my mind becomes clear. I'm standing in a parking deck, making out with a man who is not my boyfriend.

  My boyfriend! Is inside with is parents. Who I met for the first time tonight.

  Fuck my life.

   I pull away from Justin and take a step back. He licks his lips and I bring a hand up wipe mine. This is bad.

  Very, very bad.

  I pull away from Justin and take a step back. He licks his lips and I bring a hand up to wipe mine. This is bad.

  Very, very bad.

  What is wrong with me? 

  Justin's just looking at me, expression unreadable. 

  "I..." I have no idea what to say. My mind is numb. "Oh God." Tears come to my eyes and I don't know why and there's nothing I can do to stop them. 

  As one tear slides down my cheek, something in his eyes changes. Without another word he gets into his car and drives away.

Six Months Later

   I hate this. Sitting here watching him pack his suitcase. I have this really sick feeling in my stomach and I can feel a lump in my throat.

  He reaches out to grab another stack of shirts he had placed on the bed. The silence is making me crazy but I'm not sure what to say. I knew this was going to happen, that this day was going to come but it doesn't make it any easier.

  We talked about what was going to happen between us when he left and while I know it's for the best, it doesn't mean I'm happy about it. I don't understand why it has to be like this.

  "Well," He sighs, zipping the suitcase. "That's it."

  I nod, scared to meet his gaze. That'll only make this more real.

  "Taylor, it'll be ok."

  I nod again. "I know."

  I can hear is feet move across the carpet until he can kneel in front of me. "Hey, it'll be ok." Ethan says. "I'll be back before you know it."

  Great, here come the waterworks. I do not want to cry in front of him.

  The bands album came out a few weeks earlier and was doing great. So great they were going on tour. Not a small, club tour like last time. This is a big deal and they'll be gone almost a year.

  That's twelve months of not having a boyfriend. Not that he just won't be here, he won't be my 'boyfriend'. We decided to have an open relationship while he's gone. Well, he decided.

  When he first suggested it, I almost passed out. No one actually plans on having an open relationship with their boyfriend. He explained while he loves me and only wants to be with me, it's not fair to either of us to be 'tied down', his exact words, when we won't see each other.

  When I listened to him explain the logic behind it, I couldn't help but feel guilty about it. I think his reason for suggesting it was because while we've been together a little over six months and he's said he loves me, I still haven't said it back.

  I'm not a heartless bitch. I care for him, a lot. But love, that's scary.  The thought of putting all my faith and trust and heart into another person who can just change their mind is terrifying to me. 

  I think a small part of me can't say it back because of Justin. I haven't seen him since that night I kissed him in the parking deck. He got in his car and drove away. The next day I found out he was in New York and wasn't sure when he was coming back. I have had zero contact with him. No phone calls, no emails, no texs, nothing. In fact, instead of meeting with him personally about artists that I like, I'm now having to use a go between. It makes me sick to know our relationship has come to that.

  But it's my own fault. And I need to accept that.

  "Come on." Ethan stands. "Walk me out."

  I heave a deep sigh and reach out for his hand. He smiles at me over his shoulder and laces his fingers through me.

  I let him lead me through my apartment, to the elevator and to his car. I stand back so he can load all his bags into the trunk. I jump when he slams the trunk close.

  "That's it." He turns to me.

  Dammit. I really don't like that I agreed to this whole open relationship bullshit. I step into his open arms and close my eyes as he holds me, head resting on top of mine.

  "I'll call you later." He says softly.

  I can only nod.

  He pulls me away some. "I love you."

  That knot in my throat is back. I know if I can just say it back, we'll be ok. We'll make it through this and this whole stupid thing I've agreed to will cease to exist. 

  I open my mouth but can't get the words out. It's like I can't get them past my lips. "Be careful."

  I'm the biggest chickenshit I know. Be careful. That's all I can say to the man who just said he loves me. The man who I know is crazy about me. I'm a glutton for punishment.

  He gives me a small smile. "Always."

  I stand on my toes and press my lips to his. I might as well enjoy this cause who knows when I'll be able to do it again.

  A few minutes later, I'm standing alone watching him drive away.

One Month Later

  This is amazing. I'm looking around the studio with a goofy smile on my face. Glad to be alone, I turn the song up louder, until I can almost feel the bass in my chest.

She used to be a chancer, sparkle in the rain

Told me she needed a friend

If she's going crazy, baby's on the way

Seems like the day never ends

  This is what makes me happy. I'm alone in a sound proof recording studio with the music blaring. It may not be music I'd want anyone to know I'm listening to, let alone that I own this album. But sometimes the Spice Girls are the only thing that can make a girl happy.

Never give up on the good times, gotta believe in the love you find

Never give up on the good times, living it up is a state of mind

   I'm dancing around the studio, arms waving above my head, eyes closed. I'm really getting down if I do say so myself. I'm shaking my ass around the room, feeling all the stress I have leave my body.

   I freeze when the volume changes. Not louder. Someone has turned it down, way down.

  Shit! Someone walked in and saw my show. I can feel my cheeks flame. I've got to turn around, I've been caught.

  Please be the cleaning crew. I turn around and my jaw drops.

  "Nice moves." Justin grins at me.

  What the hell? Where did he come from?

  "Is this was I pay you to do?" He asks, taking a seat in the chair next to him. "Cause if so, you need a raise."

  "Oh shut up." I snap before removing my CD from the player.

  He laughs and leans back in the chair. I can feel his eyes on me as I move around the room packing my stuff up. 

  "Got anything good in there?" He points to the stack of demos I have sitting next to my bag.

  "A few that I need to give a second listen to." 

  "I'll do it."

  "Nah, it's ok." I tell him. Why is he trying to do my job? I thought that's what he hired me for.

  "I don't mind." He stands and walks to me.

   "Really. I've got it."

  We both reach for the CDs at the same time, his hand covering mine. I pull my hands back quickly and straighten up right.

  He pulls his hands back and looks at me. "I'm sorry."

  I shake my head. "I gotta go." I reach for the CDs again and throw them into my bag. "Bye."

  I need to get out of here. I feel like I can't breath. My heart is racing and I can hear this hum in my ears.

  "Wait." He calls as I reach for the door.

  For some reason only know to God my body stops but my mind is willing it to open the fucking door and leave. Just go. Turn the handle and walk out.

  "We need to talk." 

  I close my eyes when I feel him behind me.

  "Taylor, please."

  I drop my head forward. He's right, we do need to talk but I just can't handle being alone with him. I feel like everytime I am, I lose all sense of control and thought.

  "If it'll make you feel better I'll go back to the other side of the room." I can hear his voice moving across the small space.

  "See? I'm no where near you." Damn him and that teasing tone. "Turn around and you'll see."

  I turn to face him and narrow my eyes when I see him sitting across the room, his head is the only thing showing over the back of the chair. "Ha ha. Very funny."

  He spins in the chair, stupid smile on his face. "Had to do something to get you to talk to me."

  "Just say whatever you need so I can go home." I roll my eyes. He thinks he so charming. 

  Well, sometimes he is.

  "So....it's been a while." He starts. "How are you?"

  "You didn't come here to talk about how I've been. What do you want?"

  "Ok, so no small talk. Got it." He's fucking grinning again. Like nothing happened seven months ago. 

  "Spit it out." I snap. "I want to leave."

  "Ok, look I know that I was kind of a dick but you weren't exactly Mary Sunshine either. You sleep with me then make out with me all while you have a boyfriend. What else am I supposed to do?"

  "Not kiss me back!" I swear to God, this man gets dumber everytime he opens his mouth.

  He gave me a condescending look. "You know what I mean. You have a boyfriend."

  "Had."

  He stops all movement. Did I just suprise him?

  "Had?" He questions and I nod. "What happened?"

  "He's on the road." I shrug. "Thinks it'd be best if we had an open relationship."

  "And you bought that shit?" I can hear the laughter in his voice.

  "You know nothing about Ethan so don't ask questions." I'm getting so pissed. He has no right to come in here after all this time and start asking questions.

  "Ok, I'm just saying." 

  "Well don't say. You're not involved."

  "I'm not?" He licks his lips. "Could have fooled me when you were sticking your tongue down my throat."

  I gasp. Bastard! "Fuck you Justin."

  "You did that already."

   That's it! I need to leave and I need to leave now. 

  "I'm done." I shift my bag higher on my shoulder. "Do not call me, text me, show up at my apartment. We are done." I turn to the door. 

  "Hey, look I'm sorry." I hear him scramble behind me. "Please, don't go yet."

  "Fuck off." I pull the door open and slam it behind me.

  "Taylor, I'm sorry!" He yells, chasing after me down the hallway.

  I can't believe he actually thinks I'm going to listen to him. Hell, I don't ever want to even look at him. I'm going to have to find another job now. Shit and I really like it here.

  "Hey, wait." He grabs my wrist.

  I snatch my arm back and turn to glare at him. "Leave me alone. We are no longer friends and I suggest you learn to accept that. Quick."

  "We were never friends and you know that." He steps closer to me. "That's been our problem from day one."

  "Our problem is that you're an asshole."

  "You don't mean that. I know you don't." He take another step closer and I take a step back.

  I'm going to gouge his eyes out if he keeps moving closer to me. "Trust me, I mean it. I hate you."

  "Not possible." He's standing right in front of me now.

  I take another step back only to hit the wall. "It's completely possible. There is nothing appealling about you."

  He stands there and it's making me crazy. I want to push him flat on his ass. Then step over him and walk away, leaving him like he did to me

  "You love me." 

  Say what?! He did not just say that to me! I do not love him. I can't even stand him. All he does is hurt people and trust me, I've been the person at the receiving end of that too many times to count.

  "Admit it." He says. "You'll feel much better."

  "You're insane! There's no way I love you." I spat out.

  He nods and I swear I want to smack him. "You do. I know you do. You know how I know?" He pauses then continues before I can say anything. "Because I love you."

  My heart stops. Are you kidding me? He has lost his damn mind. I mean, really? He loves me now? The man would is scared to commit to anything other than a cup of coffee is now telling me he loves me?

  This has to be a joke. There is no way on Gods green earth he is serious.

  "I mean it Taylor." He reaches out to tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear. I jerk my head away from his hand. "I love you. And I know you love me too."

  I start laughing. And once I start I can't stop. This is the craziest thing I've ever heard in my life. If it wasn't happening to me there's no way I'd actually think it was real.

  He smiles at me. "You can laugh but you do." He leans down and I have a mild panic attack. Before his lips can touch mine I reach out and push him away.

  "Do not touch me." I growl.

  "That's fine." He steps back. "I'm in love with you and you'll figure out that you're in love with me too sooner or later. It's only a matter of time."

  I open my mouth to speak but he holds a hand up to stop me.

  "You can say whatever you want but trust me, you'll realize it when you least expect it. That's how it happened for me. I'll see you tomorrow." He turns and walks down the hall, towards his office and I can only stand there watching him walk away.

  I shake my head, trying to clear up all the crazy he just did to it. I'm going to have to tell Rachel to keep an eye on him, make sure he's not doing drugs.

  I hate mornings. It's not a selective hate either. I hate all mornings, any day of the week. The alarm goes off and I want to throw it across the room. Some day I do so I usually keep an extra one in the house. Today is no exception.

  I woke up late, didn't have time to shave my legs, my hair looks like ass because it's raining and traffic was a bitch. I'm still trying to figure out how people in California get their license because they do not know how to drive. I mean, who puts their turn single on as they're halfway through the turn?

  So by the time I get to the office, I'm in a pissy mood and would rather be anywhere else.

  And I've still got the whole 'I love you' thing in my head. I got no sleep last night because of it. I don't understand where this is coming from. Even when we dated before he never said that, never even came close to it. For a brief second I thought I loved him too but then evil Justin showed up and didn't really leave until we broke up. Needless to say, I never told him how I felt.

  I rub my forehead as my computer turns on. Maybe I'll take a mental health day and leave at lunch time. It's not like I have to answer to anyone.

  "Knock, knock." 

  It is too early and I'm in too bad of a mood for him to be annoying me this early.

  "Go away." I groan as the door pushes open.

  Justin chuckles softly. "I just wanted to bring you breakfast." He holds up a bag and Starbucks cup.

  I narrow my eyes at him. There's got to be a catch. The fact that he stopped on his way in means he thought of someone else other than himself this morning. And that someone is me.

  He walks across the room and places the bag and coffee in front of me. "You're welcome."

  I swallow. "Um...thanks. You didn't have to that."

  He shrugs. "I wanted to."

  He wanted to? Who is the guy?

  "Anyways, I'm going to be in and out all day so I probably won't see you." He shoves his hands in his pockets and rocks on his heels.

  "Ok."

  "So this weekend a few of us are going to Disney if you're interested."

  Disney? Really? I've been living in Califormia for almost nine years now and I have never been to Disney Land.

  "Who all's going?" I ask, biding my time.

  "Trace, Rachel, Marty, a friend of Rachel's." He shrugs. "Just a few of us."

  "Yea, maybe." 

  He smiles. "Alright, great." He pauses. "Ok, well, I'll see you later?" He backs towards the door.

  "Yea, later."

  He stops at the door. "You...ah, you look good Tay."

  I can only stare at him. 

  He gives me that crooked smile before turning to leave my office, my heart fluttering in my chest.

~~

  "There is no way I'm going on that!" I look up at the ride.

  "Come on you big wuss." Trace grins at me. "It's not that bad. It'll be over in like twenty seconds."

  "No way. I don't do heights." I shake my head.

  "It's inside!" Justin laughs. "You won't even see anything."

  "I don't need to see it to know that I'm dropping thirteen stories to my death!"

  Everyone laughs. 

  "I'm with Taylor." Morgan, Rachel's friend, says. "I'm not getting on that thing."

  "Chicken." Rachel sticks her tongue out at her.

  "Taylor, come on. Man up." Trace throws an arm over my shoulder. "I'll hold your hand."

  I laugh. "Promise?"

  "Cross my heart."

  I let out a deep sigh looking at the ride. That's a long way down.

  "So, you in or not?" Marty ask leading the way to the line. "Cause we're going on."

  Trace starts to drag me behind him. "You're doing this."

  "I swear I hate you." I groan following behind him.

  "That's the spirit!" Rachel turns to smile at me.

  We managed to walk right through the line and board the ride. Being part of the Justin Timberlake party does have it's advantages.

  Once we got to the part where you actually have to sit in the elevator since there was an odd number of us, Justin, Trace, Rachel, Marty, me, the seating arrangements made me nervous.

  Rachel and Marty wanted to sit in the front row to see everything. Idiots! No one wants to watch their life flash before their eyes.

  "You ok?" Justin looks at me.

  I feel like I'm going to throw up. I need to look anywhere but in front of me.

  "Taylor, just sit between us." Trace says. "Calm down, girl. It'll be over in a second."

  I nod and take a seat in the back row between the two of them.

  Rachel turns to us. "Hang on tight!"

  I groan and close my eyes as Justin tells her to shut up.

  I have never been so scared in my entire life. I can handle rides but I cannot handle heights. It's been a fear of mine for as long as I can remember.

  The door to ride closes and my heart starts to beat faster. This is it, I'm going to die on this ride, I know it. Did I tell my mom I love her before I hung up the phone last night?

  "Just close your eyes, it'll over soon." Justin leans in and says softly.

  I nod and close my eyes tight as I can hear the ride start up.

  "Look, Ma, no hands!" Marty yells throwing his hands in the air. Rachel laughs and puts her hands up too.

  "Oh God." I groan.

  Trace laughs besides me. "Relax."

  The ride stops at the top and I take a deep breath. It drops and my stomach is in my throat. I can't even scream. It stalls out about halfway down and moves back up.  Just as I can hear the ride get ready to drop again Justin reaches out and grabs hold of my hand.

  He doesn't let go until the ride comes to a complete stop and the doors open.

  "Sorry." He whispers pulling his hand from mine. He gives me that cute grin again before unbuckling the harness.

  That flutter is back again as I watch him shove Marty out the door laughing.

  "Come Taylor, let's go!" Trace laughs behind me. "I'm not getting any younger here."

~

  I wave as Rachel and Morgan pull out of Justin's. 

  "You wanna come in for a beer?" Trace asks.

  I turn to see Justin and Marty walking into the house already. Justin turns at the doorway. 

  "You're coming in." Justin motions with his head.

  I roll my eyes and follow behind the boys. It's just beer. One beer and then I'll leave.

  An hour later I'm standing in Justin's kitchen nursing my one beer. I need to refrain from drinking. Drinking and Justin do not mix.

  "You've been in here a while." Justin grins as he leans across the island from me. "Everything ok?"

  "Yea, I'm good." I take a step back. Even with the island between us that's still not enough room.

  He notices my step back and straightens up. "Alright, well, that's good."

  I nod and bring my beer to my lips.

  "I'm sorry about earlier." He blurts out.

  I look over at him and he blushes. It's kind of adorable.

  "I didn't mean to overstep my boundaries or anything. You were just freaking out."

  "Oh, it's ok." I let out a nervous laugh. Why am I so nervous? It's just Justin.

  "Look, I need to get on home. It's late." I throw my beer in the trash. "I'll see you Monday."

  He looks shocked. What does he think, that I'm going to hang out here all night?

  "Already?" He asks.

  "Yea, I've got some stuff to do tomorrow." I shrug.

  "Alright, I'll walk you out." He starts after me.

  "I'm ok, really." I turn to him.

  He cocks his head to the side. "Now what kind of guy would I be if I didn't walk you out?"

  Jesus. Who is this guy?

  After I said my good bye's to Trace and Marty, Justin followed me outside to my car.

  "So...bye." I turn to him after unlocking my car.

  "Thanks for coming today." He says.

  "Yea, it was fun."

   He smiles softly at me. "I'll see you Monday." He leans in and I back myself up into my car. His lips graze my cheek quickly before he pulls away. "Good night."

  He turns and walks back towards the house leaving me standing there, dazed.

  I stare at the phone, willing her to call me. I know it's not going to happen. She's probably still all freaked out over the whole 'I'm in love with you' speech I gave at her.

  Probably shouldn't have gone at it like that but damn it, Taylor's so hardheaded.

  She left a a few hours ago, Marty shortly afterward. Trace is still sitting here but that's not unusual. He moved out years ago but it's an unsaid understanding that he's welcome to stay any time he wants. I'd bet that fucker even has clothes in the guest room.

  "So..." Trace rolls his head against the couch to look at me. "Taylor looked good today."

  "I guess." I shrug. Where's he going with this? I fight the urge to smile at the memory of her short shorts and tank top. She did look good today.

  "Just saying." He eyes me.

  I haven't told him that I told her I loved her. He'd never let it go if things don't pan out the way I'm hoping they will. He gave me a lot of shit the first go round with her. 

  Yea, I wasn't exactly what you would call a model boyfriend and I fucked it all up. I know that. But if I'm completely honest, I wasn't ready for a relationship but I wasn't ready to lose her either. It was selfish on my part but I really cared for her and it doesn't hurt that the sex was fucking awesome. 

  I'm a guy. Give me a break.

  Trace sighs. "Dude, what're you doing to her?"

  I look over at him. "Huh?"

  "With Taylor. What're you doing?"

  "Nothing."

  He rolls his eyes and sat up a little on the couch. "I've known you too damn long for you to pull some bullshit like that."

  I hate when he's right. He let's it go to his head and he gets all Napoleon complex on me. "I just...you know," I shrug. "Might wanna try again."

  "Bad idea."

  "Why?" 

  "Cause she's got a fucking boyfriend man. He's one of your fucking artist dude. Not cool."

  "I know that you asshole." I snap. "They're doing some open relationship thing."

  He looks at me, disbelieving.

  "I swear man! Ask her." I hold up my hands, innocent. "She told me he was the one who asked for it."

  "Taylor? Our Taylor agreed to an open relationship? The same Taylor that said she wasn't gonna just fuck you anymore?" 

  I nod and he laughs.

  "That girl is a walking contradiction." He takes a pull from his beer. "That still doesn't explain why she was acting all sketchy today."

  I hesitate. "Cause I told her I love her."

  "You did what!?" He yells. He looks at me and I give him a sheepish grin. "You are a fucking idiot."

  "I wasn't going to tell her but then she said they were in this open relationship bullshit and...fuck off man. She needs to know the option is there." I snap.

  He shakes his head, clearly annoyed with me. "You are asking for a world of trouble."

  I roll my eyes and stand up. "You staying here?"

  "Probably. That ok?" He glances up at me before turning his attention back to the TV.

  "Yea. I'm going to bed." 

  "Later." He calls as I head to my room.

  After taking a quick shower, I crawl into bed, exhaustion slowly taking over my body.

  Trace didn't react the way I was hoping he would. I actually thought he'd be a little more supportive. Maybe help me think of way to win her over. He's always liked Taylor and really gave me shit for breaking up with her. 

  My mind drifts back to when I realized I more than just cared for her as a friend. I should have realized it when she told me Ethan had asked her out and I felt like someone punched me in my stomach. I guess I was in denial thinking it wouldn't last.

  But when I saw her meeting his parents and how well it went, I knew I could lose her and damn if that didn't fucking hurt. I watched the four of them and they looked like that perfect couple and in-law picture. Straight from a movie kinda shit. When she met my mom, she called her Mrs. Timberlake. I chuckle at the memory. 

  And then she pitched such a fit, following me out to my car and then there was that God damn kiss. It didn't last long but if she hadn't have pulled away, the things I would have done to do to her. Oh yea, in the parking lot, against the car. I didn't care.

  I knew the second I saw the look in her eyes, I was in love with her. I didn't care about me. I cared that she was worried about Ethan.

  I groan and throw a pillow over my face. Ethan. Lucky bastard. I bet he knows how great Taylor is. I bet he's not going to mess it up like I did.

  But...he did suggest the open relationship. I can't help but wonder if he's having his cake and eating it too.

  I'd kill him. Even if she doesn't want to be with me, he's not going to hurt her.

  I really need to grow a pair and just walk into his office and play this demo for him. But my feet and legs aren't working so I'm sitting in the chair of my office not moving.

  It's been two weeks of nothing but the Justin I fell for all that time ago. He brings breakfast some days, offers to pick up lunch if he's going to be in and out, just sticks his head in to say hey. Always giving me that crooked grin that I love so much.

  If his plan is to wear me down, it's working. The longer I'm away from Ethan, the harder it is to not want to be with someone else.  When Ethan left, I told myself there was no way I was going to be a willing participant in this open relationship crap. I don't think he is either. I really think he just said it to make me feel better about him leaving. We're not going to be seeing each other on a regular basis for a long time and while Skype and phone calls are awesome, it's not the same.

   I look up at the soft knock coming from my door.

  "Hey." Justin grins.

  "Hey." I can't help the butterflies in my stomach. "What's up?"

  He shrugs and sits down in the chair across from my, propping his feet up on the edge of my desk. "Nothing really. I'm having a BBQ this weekend and thought you might like to come."

  "Yea, I'll be there."

  "Bring Lori."

  I nod. I don't know what to say to him. These things I'm feeling have really got me all messed up. I never had a problem talking to him befor and now every time he comes around I turn into mute girl.

  "You had lunch yet?" He asks.

  "No, I was gonna go get something here shortly."

  "You wanna go together?" He asks. "We'll go where ever you want."

  I bite my bottom lip. I do want to go, see if I'm just crazy thinking all these things. I can't love him. There's no way that I could love him and still want to be with Ethan. Right?

  I need to stay strong. I want to be with Ethan. 

  "No, I'm good." I give him a soft smile. "But thanks."

  "You sure?" 

  "Yea, really."

  "Alright." He brings his feet down and stands. "I'll see you later."

  "Later." I watch him leave my office and I'm mentally kicking myself. 

  I just turned down free lunch. Damn it.

~~

  "So....you've been spending a lot of time with Justin lately." Lori gives me a sideways look.

  "Yea. So what?" I pull up to the red light. 

  "Is there something I should know about?"

  "Like what? He's my friend." I shrug and hit the gas as the light turns green. Fucking stop lights in California. As soon as you stop at the red light it turns green again.

  "Ok, he's your friend." She nods.

   I know that tone. She's trying to force it out of me and there's nothing to tell her. Justin is my friend. Ethan is my boyfriend. End of story.

  "He's your really hot friend that you used to date."

  Ah ha! I knew it was coming.

  "Your point?" 

  "My point is you can't just be friends with someone once you have that history with." She says. "You guys were pretty intense for a minute and there's no way in hell something like that just goes away."

  "Newsflash, it did go away." I roll my eyes.

  "Tay, come on. He's Justin freakin' Timberlake. How can you not think the man is gorgeous?"

  "Easy, he's an arrogant ass." Actually I do think he's pretty gorgeous. Men usually aren't but this one is.

  She turns to me fully as we pull onto his street. She really needs to drop this cause we're too close to his house and that's the last thing I need. For someone at this BBQ to hear us talking about him. With my luck it'll be Trace who'll go running back to Justin with 'Taylor wants you' bullshit.

  "You want his ass." She grins at me.

  I groan and pull into the driveway. "I do not want him or his ass." I punch in the code at the gate. "I have Ethan."

  "Who you're in an open relationship with."

  "We are not seeing other people." I put the car in park. "I am only seeing Ethan. I am only interested in Ethan. I do no want to date or sleep with anyone who is not named Ethan."

  "We'll see." She smiles, climbing out of the car.

  Sometimes I really want to slap my best friend. 

~

  So...maybe Lori was right about one thing. Maybe I do want his ass. Cause right now, watching him grilling in just a pair of board shorts, I'm feeling the effects of not having any kind of physical relationship for the past two months.

  "You want cheese on your burger?" Trace yells over at me. He reaches out to take the spatchula from Justin.

  "Please." I yell back.

  He nods and throws a piece of cheese on a meat patty.  I turn back to Rachel and Lori but I can see Justin and Trace talk a minute before he turns and heads into the house.

  It's been a really weird afternoon. Justin greeted Lori and I when we got here but hasn't really said anything else to me. He's been floating around talking to everyone else but me. I can't help but wonder what's going on.

  "I'll be right back." I say to Lori and Rachel before turning and heading into the house.

  I walk to the kitchen thinking maybe he went to get another beer but he's not there. I make my way through the living room and out to the garage where I know he has the housekeep stock the extra beer.

  I see him standing in the corner of the garage, a box of beer in his hands.

  "Hey." I call out.

  "Fuck!" He yells as the box falls from his hands. The glass bottles inside explode and beer leaks from the box.

  "Oh my God! I'm so sorry!" I run over to help clean up. "I didn't mean to scare you."

  "It's fine." He says grabbing the broom.  He starts to sweep up the liquid and I have to laugh.

  "What's so funny?" He looks up at me, still sweeping.

  "You're sweeping up beer." I point out. "You need to just dry it. Sweeping isn't going to do you any good."

  He looks down to see the puddle of liquid still there. "Shit."

  "Hang on." I run into the house and grab a towel from the spare bathroom in the hall.

  "Here." I walk back across the garage. "Move out of the way."

  "I got it." He reaches for the towel. "There's glass everywhere."

  "All the more reason for you to watch out super star." I grin as I kneel on the concrete and begin to mop of the spilled beer.

  "Hang on." He bends down. "Let me move this before you cut yourself." He reaches for the box and moving carefully over to throw it away.

  I finish cleaning up the mess and stand up. "All done." I grin before throwing the towel in the trash can. "You'll never miss that." I say when he starts to protest about the towel.

  He rolls his eyes and crosses his arms across his chest. 

  My eyes are instantly drawn to his arms as they flex. I can't stop thinking about all the dirty things I want to do to him.

  "Stare much?" He smirks.

  "You wish." But I can feel my face flush. 

  He laughs. "I'm not complaining."

  I fight the urge to roll my eyes. He knows he fucking sexy and takes pleasure it pointing it out. Cocky bastard.

  "I just came to help you with the beer." I walk past him, towards the boxes in the corner of the garage.

  Before I can move to pick up one of the boxes, I can feel his fingers graze my lower back, just under my tank top.

  I lick my lips and close my eyes. He really needs to stop doing that. It's not fair to do that to a sexually frustrated woman.

  "You wanna stay tonight?" He whispers close to my ear. 

  I can feel his body heat close behind him. "Why would I do that?" His presses his hand flat to my lower back and slides it around to grip my waist.

  "I think we both know why you would do that." He steps closer, his body pressed against mine.

  I've lost all brain function. I cannot think when he's this close to me. All I want to do is take advantage of not having a boyfriend.

  I lean back into him. "Justin....is this a good idea?"

  "I think it's a great idea." He leans in and presses a kiss to my neck.

  I tilt my head to the side as his lips smudge up and down my neck. "What about Ethan?"

  "Open relationship." He whispers in my ear. "Look it up."

  I turn around. "I'm with Ethan."

  "I know that." He rolls his eyes. "But I love you."

  "How do you know he doesn't?"

  "He never would have suggested this whole dating other people shit if he really did."

  I sigh. "You don't know that. It's just easier this way. He's going to be gone for so long."

  "That's an easy out. A ready made excuse."

  I can't help but think maybe he's right. I shake my head. Ethan would never do that to me. He says he loves me and I believe him.

  I look at Justin, his face close to mine. As much as I care for Ethan and want to be with him, I cannot deny that there is something between us. There always has been.

   "I do not love you." I step closer to him. "Understand?"

  "You do." He says as his fingers trace my cheek. "But I can wait until you realize it."

  He's insane. I just need to get laid and then it'll be ok. I know the sex will be great. While Ethan is gone, I'll have a sex buddy in Justin. Not the brightest idea I've ever had but maybe I can get over whatever this attraction is to him. I'll sex him out of my system per say.

   "Just sex."

  "It's never been just sex." He whispers as he lowers his head and kisses me.

  Ok, so I didn't sleep with Justin. I didn't even stay the night. I wanted to and I know he wanted me to but the more I processed it in my head, the dumber it felt. He was't exactly thrilled when I told him I was going home for the night but he did the most un-Justin like thing.

  He cocked his head, eyes pleading a little and said 'If that's what you want, then that's fine with me. I just want you to be happy.'

  I didn't see him or talk to him for a few days after that. I kept replaying all the things we've been through since the day I met him and he's right. There is something between us but I don't know what it is. We're great friends but once we put a title on it, it all went to hell. He became this guy that I didn't like and didn't want to be around.

  He had a few moments while we were dating that I really felt like we had something but they were few and far between. So all this 'I love you' talk he keeps throwing around really has me baffled.

  I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel something for him.  I just don't know what it is. I'm really torn. I know I like Ethan. I really care for him and I don't think I'd be feeling this way about Justin if he were here. 

  Maybe I should go and see him. He'll be making a stop in Knoxville and I've got family near there. I could always just suprise him. Just see him and see how strong my feelings may still be.

  I can't stop the grin from forming on my face as I reach out to grab my laptop.

~~

  Sassy Ann's House of Blues. Are you kidding me? What the hell possessed someone to name a bar Sassy Ann's? I shake my head and walk into the crowded bar. 

  I let my eyes adjust to the darkness and spot Ethan up on stage helping the guys set up the equipment. My plan is to stay hidden until after the show then I'll suprise him.

  Part of me is hoping this was a good idea. I just bought a plane ticket and left. I did tell Lori were I was going but that's it. Justin's called a couple of times but I send it to voicemail. If I'm going to do this, I need to not talk to him and see if what I'm feeling for Ethan is real and not some made up notion I have in my head.

  I order my beer and sit at the bar just watching him. He looks great. I kinda forgot how good looking he is. He's laughing and joking with the other guys. It's nice to see him smile. It's nice to see him in general.

  The longer I'm watching the more I'm realizing this is probably a good sign. That I'm not really feeling anything for Justin. At least not as strongly as I'm feeling for Ethan. Cause right now, my stomach is full of butterflies and I'm so giddy I could bounce up and down on this stool.

  I pause, my beer halfway to my mouth as I see a blonde girl walk towards the stage. Ethan turns and smiles brightly at her as she braces her hands on the edge of the stage, leaning towards him. He kneels down and they talk a few minutes. My stomach is in knots.

  Who is this girl? And she needs to backthe fuck off. Even from here I can tell she's flirting with him. A woman knows these things. The way she's leaning into him, smiling brightly, never taking her eyes off him.

  My heart stops as she bounces up on her toes and presses a kiss to my boyfriends mouth. I literally stop breathing as he brings a hand up and cups her cheek.

  I throw a few bills on the bar and run out as fast as I can. My legs burning as I run down the street blindly.

  I don't really remember going to the hotel or to the airport. I do remember standing at LAX with no way home.

  With shaking hands I pull my phone out.

  "Hello?"

  I can't get my voice to work. Every time I open my mouth nothing comes out. It's like the words get caught in my throat.

  "Hello? Taylor?"

  I nod knowing the person on the other line can't see me.

  "Are you ok? What's wrong?"

  I take a deep breath, tears threatening. "LAX."

  "Huh? LAX?" A beat. "Don't move. I'll be right there."

  Twenty minutes later I'm still standing there, the operator repeating in my ear 'please hang up and try your call again'.

  The black car pulls up in front of me and I can hardly hear the door slam. I can feel a set of hands pry my suitcase from my grip. Then I hear what I'm assuming the trunk close before the same set of hands reaches out and rubs my arms.

  "Tay? Come on. Let's get you home."

  I look up.

  Justin gives me a soft smile but his eyes are full of concern. "Come on."

  I let him lead me to the car, he helps me in and closes the door behind me. I can only sit there, staring straight ahead.

  As we pull into the parking lot of my apartment complex I turn to look at Justin. He put the car in park and turns to me.

  He reaches out and brushes my hair over my shoulders. "Hey."

  "Hey."

  "You ok?" He asks softly. "Did something happen?"

  I blink. My mind in numb.

  He sighs. "Alright, let's get you inside."

I roll over on my back and stare at my ceiling. I spent all night tossing and turning, replaying that kiss between Ethan and that girl. I went though all the stages of a break up overnight. Hurt, humiliation, anger, hurt again, more anger, sadness. Part of me knows that it's over but a very small part of me keeps thinking I should talk to him. Give him a chance to explain. Maybe there's some sort of explanation.

Heaving deeply I throw the covers back and throw my legs over the side of the bed.

The apartment is silent as I make my way down the hallway and towads the kitchen. Coffee is calling my name. The biggest cup of coffee I can muster. Like Central Perk size coffee.

I come to a standstill when I see Justin standing in my kitchen, a bowl of cereal in his hands.

He eyes my bare legs sticking out from under my t-shirt. A smirk forming on his lips. I reach and pull the hem down.

"Is that my shirt?" He eyes me.

I look down. Shit, it is his shirt. Well, kind of. I stole it from him when we were dating and never gave it back.

"I ah....be right back." I turn and hurry back to my room where I pull on a pair of shorts.

"So....you stayed here last night?" I ask him as I walk back into the kitchen.

He nods. "Yea, I was worried to leave you alone." He pauses when I give him a confused look. "You were kind of catatonic last night."

I blush and avoid his stare. "Well thanks for helping me, I guess."

He rinses out the empty bowl before leaning against the counter to face me again. "So, you wanna tell me what happened?"

I shake my head, tears prinking my eyes again.

"Alright, I can handle that." He crosses his arms over his chest. "But whenever you want to talk about, if you want to talk about it, I'm here."

"Thank you." I smile softly at him.

~

"I think you should talk to him." Lori shifts in her seat. "I love you, you know that. But you guys are in an open relationship. Maybe what you saw was all there was to it."

"I know. I keep thinking that too." I sigh. "But I mean, he kissed another girl. And that fucking hurts."

"I know it does but the guy did say he loves you."

We sit in silence for a few minutes, our waitress briniging our food.

"Have you talked to him?" She questions me.

"No." I shake my head. "I keep ignoring his calls."

"Before you jump to any conclusions, I really think you should talk to him."

"Do I tell him that I saw him? Or just pretend it didn't happen?"

Lori sets her fork down. "That's up to you. I would but you know me, I'm all about the drama." 

I laugh. "Ok, so next time he calls, I'll talk to him."

"Good." She picks her fork back up. "Now, tell me again why we aren't drinking alcohol with our lunches?"

~ 

After my lunch with Lori earlier I came home and thought and re-thought about this whole Ethan and the blonde skank kiss. I know she's right and that I do need to talk to him but I'm hurt.

This guy told me time and time again that he loves me. That he wants to be with me. And I believed him. He's been everything I could want in a man. Thoughtful, kind, funny, he's listened to me bitch about how shitty my day was. In short, he was there. Even before I saw the kiss and he was across the county, he was there.

Always a phone call away but he would listen to me for hours on end every night. That means more to me then he'll ever know.

*ring*

I pick up my phone and look at the caller ID. Ethan.

My finger hovers over the end button.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Hey!" His voice comes through the line. "How are you?"

"I'm ok." 

"I miss you." He says. "I wish you could come out for a weekend or something."

I swallow. My stomach in knots as I mull over if I should say something to him or not. I should just do it since I already picked up the phone. I know that I cannot have a normal conversation with him with all this stuff going around in my head.

"I need to tell you something." I blurt out.

"Is everything ok?" I can hear the concern in his voice.

I pull my legs up on the couch. "Um...not really." I pause to take a deep breath. "I was in Knoxville the other day."

"Really? Why didn't you tell me?" He interrupts me. "Maybe you could have come to the show."

"I did see you."

He hesitates. "I don't understand."

I chew on my bottom lip. I need to do this. It's like pulling off a band-aid. Just do it.

"I was at the bar and saw you." I pause. "I saw you with that blonde girl."

"Oh." He finally gets out.

I lick my lips, not really sure what he means by that.

"Look, Taylor, that was nothing. Just an old girlfriend that I haven't seen in a long time. It didn't mean anything." He pauses. "I'm really sorry. I don't want you to think it meant something. Cause really....when we kissed, I didn't feel half of what I feel when I kiss you."

Despite my best efforts, I can't help but grin at his comment. 

"I swear to you Tay, it didn't mean anything. I love you. Only you."

"Has there been anyone else?" I ask, voice shaking slightly.

"No." He say firmly. "There's only you."

My mind is spinning. I want to believe him. I think a part of me does. He has never lied to me before. Months of unbroken promises. Maybe it really was an old girlfriend and she just happened to be there. I know he's from the area so it's not too much of a shocker there.

"Taylor?"

"I believe you." I find myself saying.

~

I'll say it again, I hate mornings, especially Monday mornings. I pull my car into my parking spot and drag my lazy body into the building.

I smile at the girl at the desk, wondering why there's yet another new girl manning the front. It seems like there's someone new every week or so.

I put my stuff down in my office, taking the time to turn on my computer and Itunes. I'm in dire need of coffee. The cup I had this morning didn't wake me up and I really don't want to be that girl in the office who bites off someone's head.

Once the computer is up and running, I walk toward the breakroom where I know coffee will be waiting. Even though there's always a new girl at the front desk, the coffee is always waiting.

I pause mid-sip when I hear two voices in the hallways. Justin and someone else. A female someone else.

"Thanks for coming out here in such short notice." He says.

"It's no problem. You're the boss."

I roll my eyes at her blatant flirting. Women will do anything for this man. If only I could tell them the stories of how not sexy he really can be. First thing in the morning, without breakfast or coffee, he's like the devil.

I see them stop in front of the breakroom and I drop my cup.

Both heads turn quickly towards me.

"Taylor?" Justin asks, stepping towards me. "You ok?"

I look between him and the girl. The blonde girl.

I nod and Justin turns back to the girl. "Look, we'll just talk later." He says to her. "Let the guys know the album is doing great."

She smiles brightly at him. "No problem." She glances at me. "Bye."

I watch the girl turn and walk away. I can't stop wondering what the hell she's doing here and how the hell she knows Justin.

"You ok?" He reaches out and rubs his hands up and down my arms.

"Who was that girl?" I ask.

His brows furrow. "Lisa?" He points towards the elevator she just walked into. "She's the tour manager for the guys."

My heart stops. "What guys?"

"Ehtan and the rest of the guys." He looks at me funny. "I thought you meet her already? She's been with them since they left."

I can feel my hands start to shake. The skanky blonde that kissed my boyfriend has a name. Lisa. She also has a job. My boyfriend's tour manager.

What the fuck is going on?

"Taylor, you're kinda freaking me out here." Justin says, hands still moving up and down arms.

I can't believe that skank has been out on the road with Ethan since day one. He lied to me. He lied to me about kissing an 'ex-girlfriend'. Lisa is not an ex-girlfriend. He's actually cheating on me.

"Tay?"

My head snaps up to his. "Sorry."

He looks me over. "Are you ok?"

I nod. I'm a littled scared at how calm I am right now. "So, Lisa is fucking Ethan behind my back and he lied to me about it."

He steps back in shock. "What?"

"Yea, I saw them together." I brush past him and walk down the hall to my office. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know that it's not normal how calm I am. But I have no idea how else to act. 

"Wait, start from the beginning." He trails after me into the office.

I sit down at my desk. "That's wher I was, when you picked me up at the airport." I shake my head. "I saw him kiss her. He told me it was an ex-girlfriend and it didn't mean anything. I actually believed him."

He doesn't say anything for a long time. So long that I'm a little worried what he's thinking.

"Justin?" I lean foward in my chair.

"Ethan? Does he know you saw him?" He sits down in the chair across from me. It looked more like he flopped into it to be honest.

He's worrying me right now. I've never seen Justin like this before. While he looks normal, his eyes are full of rage.

I swallow, getting more and more worried with every passing second. I have no clue what he might do.

"I talked to him the other day about it. He said what he said and I actually bought it." I push my hair back from my face, feeling slightly annoyed with myself for buying Ethan's bullshit. "I am such an idiot."

"He's the idiot."

I meet his gaze and the butterflies are back.

Suddenly he stands. "I gotta go." He heads towards the door. "I'll call you later."

"Wait! Where are you going?" I stand to follow after him.

He stops in the doorway. "I just need to take care of some stuff but I'll call you later." He gives me a smile when I reach his side. "We'll talk later, ok?"

My insides feel like they've melted. All it takes is one look from this man and I'm like jello. I nod my head dumbly and he presses a quick kiss to my cheek.

~~

I'm so pissed right now that the only thing I can do to calm down is to leave her. That's not what I wanted to do. It didn't seem like she needed a shoulder to cry on or someone to comfort her but I wanted to be that person if she needed that.

So I'm driving around LA, not sure how to handle this. Part of me wants to just drop the band so that he's out on his ass but I've invested too much time and money at this point and the record sales are getting better each week. I maybe in love with Taylor but I'm not dummy.

I want to give her all the things she deserves and I can't do that if I'm not making money.

My mind is racing with ideas of how to handle this. Do I call him and let him have it? Do I pay him a visit? Do I fire Lisa? Do I let Taylor work this out on her own and see what happens? What I need is Trace. I need to talk to him and see what he thinks.

Knowing him, he'll probably say we make a little visit to him and knock him around a little. He was always a sucker for Taylor. He looked after her like she a little sister. 

I can't stop from grinning at the thought of what he would say to Ethan.

Ok, my minds made up. I know what I'm going to do. I make a quick u-turn and hit the gas pedal.

"So skanky blonde is stepping out with Ethan?" Lori asks. "Does she know about you?"

I shrug and take a pull from my beer. "No clue. She didn't really show any kind of indication that she did."

"That bitch."

This is why I love this girl. I've known her since high school. I moved out to LA after high school and she went to college in state. After she graduated she packed up and moved out here. Being a nurse has it's advantages. Like being able to find a job almost instantly.

Without really thinking about it, I look down at my phone. He still hasn't called. When Justin left my office earlier today, he said he'd call me and I haven't heard from him. To say I'm worried is an understatement. The man has a temper like no one I've ever met and I could see it in his eyes. He practically stormed from the room, like a man on a mission.

"You expecting a call?" Lori cranes her neck to see someone behind me. 

I turn and smile when I see the cute guy she's looking at sitting at the bar. "Kind of."

I sitll haven't told her about Justin's confession and about how I may or may not feel for him. 

She looks at me. "Kind of? I know you're not actually going to talk to Ethan."

"No, not Ethan." I pause. "Justin."

A knowing smile forms on her face. "Ok, I get it now."

"You get what?" I roll my eyes.

"Justin. You. It's bound to happen. That guy is in love with you. You're the only one who doesn't knowi t."

This bitch is too smart for her own good. I guess now is as good a time as any to tell her. "That's the thing. I know he is."

"I'm sorry, what?" She leans across the table, closer to me.

I had to smile at the look on her face. "Yea, he told me that. A while ago."

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" 

I duck my head when I notice all the people turn to look at us. "Keep your voice down."

"Fuck that." She waves her hand. "Why didn't you tell me?"

I shrug. "I was with Ethan. I wanted to be with Ethan."

"And now?"

"Now I don't want to be with Ethan."

"Do you want to be with Justin? Cause...yea, if you don't jump on that I will."

I had to laugh at her again. She makes no secret that she finds him attractive. Hell, I haven't met a woman who doesnt' find him attractive. But I know that she would never make a move on him. Girl code and all.

"It's complicated."

"What's so complicated about it? He's hot. You're hot. There's history there. Do it." She wiggles her eyebrows.

"Do you remember how much of an asshole he was? Cause I do."

She sighed and looked over at the cute guy sitting at the bar again. "Look, I love you, you know that. You are my best friend in the world but you have issues with guys. All guys. Commitment issues."

There it is. The truth that neither one of us had ever really voiced. And to hear it aloud stings.

"Tay, I'm sorry but we both know it's true." She says when she sees my face fall. "Any time things get hard you bail. There's an excuse for everything. Justin was too moody, Ethan was going on the road, Tim wanted too much too soon. I mean, no relationship is perfect. But you're going to end up alone and sad if you keep finding things wrong with people."

I let her words soak in, knowing that she's right. Every guy I've ever dated, I found something wrong and ended it or sabotaged it. The thought of letting someone completely in scares the shit out of me. To be vulnerable with someone, having to know all my fears and secrets. That's something I've never shared with anyone. 

~

After punching in the gate code I steer my car up the long driveway and park near the front door.

Pushing open the car door the fresh air sobers me up a little. I know I'm not drunk but I do have a nice buzz going on. Which explains why I'm here.

I bang on the front door and wait. I can see the lights flick on through the window so I know he's home. 

"Hey." I give Jusitn a wave when he opens the door.

"What time is it?" He ask, voice full of sleep.

"Opps." I grin when I notice it's almost 2 AM. "Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you."

He opens the door wider, allowing me in. "It's cool. What's up?"

I walk towards the living room and flop down on the couch. "Nothing. I was out to dinner with Lori and then she met a guy and let me so...I'm bored."

He chuckles. "It's nice to know you think of me in your boredom."

I roll my eyes as he sits down in the recliner across from me. He's adorable in his sweats and t-shirt. Hair sticking out wildly. 

"You never called." I pout. Wow, so maybe I'm a littler more buzzed than I thought. I probably shouldn't have driven over here.

"Yea, well, I had some stuff on my mind." He runs a hand over his head. 

"What kind of stuff?"

He sighs and sits back in the chair. "Why are you really here?"

I'm asking myself that. I don't really know. I got in my car after Lori left with that cute guy from the bar and it's like my car had a mind of it's own. Before I knew it, I was punching in the code to the gate.

"I'm just confused." I finally force out.

"About what?"

I shrug, stalling for time. "Why did you say that?"

He looks confused and I don't blame him. The longer I'm in front of him the more I realize I probably should not be here. I'm a little too drunk to have this conversation with him. 

"Say what?" He leans forward.

"That you...you know." I look away from him.

"That I love you?" He asks and I give a quick nod. "Because I do. And I know that you don't love Ethan. Even before all this shit happened with him."

"But I don't know if I love you either." I whisper.

He shrugs and leans back again. "Yea but I think I'm the closest you've ever been to it."

I look up at him. He might be right about that one. Again, bastard. 

I groan and stretch out on the couch.

I can hear him sigh as he stands. "Look, you're not driving anywhere tonight,"

"I'm fine." I start to sit up.

"I don't think so." He pushes me down. "Stay here, I'll grab a blanket. You'll leave in the morning."

I make a face at him but close my eyes. "Yes dad."

I'm barely awake when he drapes a blanket over me. I'm asleep when he presses a soft kiss on my lips.

My phone vibrates against the table for the third time in the last hour. I know it's Ethan and I past the being hurt. I've moved onto the being pissed. I'm pissed at myself for buying into his bullshit and I'm more than pissed at him for thinking he could do that to me.

I probably should answer the phone. I'd really like to give him a piece of my mind but I really don't want to do this over the phone. I know we're having this open relationship thing but I still need to officially end things with him. And even though he totally screwed me and did all the wronging, the phone is not the way to do this.

The phone vibrates again and I reach out to grab it with a deep sigh.

I'm unable to hide the smile that forms on my face when I see Justin's name flashing.

"Hello?"

"Hey. What're you doing?" He asks.

I prop my feet up on the end of the couch, pointing my toes in a stretch. "Nothing. You?"

"Nothing." He says. "Wanna go do nothing together?"

I laugh. "That sounds promising."

"Come on, let's go do something."

I love when he pouts like this. Only I'll deny it if anyone ever told him. I just find it completely adorable. Sometimes it outweighs the asshole side of him.

"I don't know. I'm in my sweats already."

"Damn it Taylor. Put some fucking clothes on and get your ass over here before I come and get you." He demands. "And if I come over there, we will not be leaving."

I know I'm blushing. He does that shit to me all the time. "Fine, fine." I drag myself into a sitting position. "I'm getting up."

He gives me a dirty laugh. "See you soon."

I groan and hang up. 

An hour later I walking into Justin's house, butterflies all a flutter. The things this man does to me is insane. I may not know if I love him but I do know that he is one guy that has ever made me feel this way.

"Justin?" I call out. "Where are you?"

"Kitchen!" He yells.

I round the corner and can't help but laugh. He's got his back to me, apron tied around his waist, shaking his ass to the music playing, cooking dinner.

"What are you doing?" I ask taking a seat in the stool at the island.

"Making dinner." He turns to me, wiping his hands on the apron. "Did you eat yet?"

I shake my head.

"Good." He turns back to the stove. "I used my grandma's  recipe."

I roll my eyes when I see what he's making. "It's fucking spaghetti."

He dumps a spoon full on the plate in front of me. "You will eat this and you will love it."

I laugh and reach for the plate. "We'll see."

"I'm the next Emeril for all you know." He walks around the island and sits next to me.  He watches me bring the fork full up to my mouth and eat the dinner he made. "I'm glad you came over."

I swallow and look at him out the corner of my eye. "Yea?"

"Yea." He shrugs and takes a bite from his own plate. "I miss this."

And he's done it. Turned on the charm. 

I can't help but agree with him though. When we were together before we used to spend most nights at each others place just hanging out and being normal, if there is such a thing. Don't get me wrong, the going out was nice but there's something so specail about spending time alone with him. Just the two of us and no cameras, no fans, no other people to bother us. It was one of the things I loved most about being with him. It was like he let the walls down and really let me in. Let me be with Justin. Not Justin Timberlake, superstar.

"So," He glances over at me. "Talked to Ethan yet?"

I knew this was coming. He's been on my case for three days about talking to him. I understand he wants me to end it but at the same time, it's really none of his business. I don't care if he loves me or not.

"No, not yet."

"Why?" He puts his fork down and turns to face me.

"This isn't something I really want to do over the phone." I sigh. "I know he fucked up but I can't do that. It's not right."

"And what he did was?"

"No, I'm not saying that. He did wrong. Very wrong and I can't forgive him for that. But I'm going to take the high road and do it face to face."

He shakes his head. "Tay, he's on the road and won't be home for another month."

"And?"

He opens his mouth but closes it quickly.

"What's your point Justin?"

He sits for a second before straightening up. "What about us?"

"What about us?"

"I just....well, I thought that we could try again since he's out of the picture now."

He really thinks it's that simple? The little voice, sounding very much like Lori, seems to agree with Justin. It is that simple. I just make it all so fucking complicated.

"Look, I need to take care of this thing with Ethan." I start. "And I need to do it my way. But that doesn't mean that we can't....go slow." I finish, a hopeful tone in my voice.

I know that look on his face. He wants to say something but he doesn't. I'm kind of shocked he doesn't. That's not like him.

Maybe things will be different.

"Ok." He reaches out and tucks some hair behind my ear. "Does slow mean no sex?"

I laugh and shove him away. "You are an idiot."

"Yea," He leans over and presses a kiss to my neck. "But you didn't answer my question."

I sneak a look over at him as he turns back to his plate. So maybe there could be some sex. Slow sex. Nothing rushed.

I feel a little giddy at the thought.

~~

A week later Justin and I have been on a few slow dates. Nothing too conspicuous. Just a few lunches and drinks. Any place we went at night, we always made sure to have Trace or Lori or Rachel with us. He didn't want to draw attention to us, with Ethan being signed to his label and I didn't want Ethan to know something was going on.

I've talked to him a few times. Always short conversations. I usually pretended to be working or heading out the door or going to bed. If he suspected, he didn't say anything.

"Hey."

I shiver when Jusitn presses a warm hand on my lower back.

I turn and look at him. "Hey yourself."

He leans, elbows against the bar. "You've been gone forever."

"The bartender is ignoring me." I pout. "Do the famous thing."

He throws his head back and laughs. 

Justin, myself, Lori and Trace are all out at some hole in the wall bar. Ethan had been calling all night but I just sent it to voicemail, not really caring.

"Yo, hey, man!" Justin calls to the bartender. "Can you get the lady a beer?"

I shake my head when the guy almost instantly places a beer in front of me. It's amazing what a famous person can do for you. I had been trying to ge this guys' attention for almost ten minutes but the second he sees Justin, everyone else fades away.

"Thank you." I smile up at him. "My hero."

He drapes his arm around my shoulder, guiding me through the crowd. "All in a days work."

We slide into the booth, across from Trace and Lori who are arguing.

"What is the problem now?" I ask him.

"He thinks that chick is hot." Lori rolls her eyes.

"What girl?" Justin turns to scan the bar. I reach out and punch his thigh. "Ow!"

"Be thankful it was only your leg." I smirk at him and he rolls his eyes.

"That girl over there." Trace motions with his head. "The one with the green top."

I turn to see who they were talking about. There are two girls with a green top across the bar. One with another group of girls and the other with a guy.

"Which one?" I ask, squinting in the darkness, trying to get a better look. "There are two different girls over there."

"And one looks like she's on a date." Justin says. "Tough break man."

"That's the one." Trace grins at us. "She may have showed up with him but I'm willing to bet she'll leave with me."

Lori and I laugh. 

"Sure. Whatever you say." Justin takes a swallow from my beer. "Not going to happen."

"I've got this." Traces leans foward, elbows on the table. "She doesn't seem that interested."

I turn to look at her again. It's at that very second that she turns her head a little.

"Son of a bitch." I gasp. 

"What?" Justin ask. "What's wrong?"

"That's Lisa." I look at Lori then to Justin.

"Skanky Lisa?" She asks.

"The tour manager?" Justin turns back around.

The three of them stare at her and the guy. Suddenly Trace stands.

"I'm going to fucking kill him." 

He starts over there but Justin grabs him and pulls him back.

What's the problem. Who is Trace going to kill? Oh. My. God. I slowly turn  back towards Lisa. The sneaky. Lying. No. Good. Son. Of. A. Bitch.

"I'm going to fucking kill him." I try to stand.

It's at that very second that Justin realizes what's going on.

"We need to get him out of here." Lori slides out of the booth and grabs Trace by the hand. "Come on. I'll let you feel me up or something outside."

I watch as Lori drags Trace out of the bar. His eyes never leaving Lisa and Ethan.

"Hey, look at me." Justin grabs my shoulders and forces me back down into the seat. "You need to stay calm."

"Fuck that." I snap at him. "He's supposed to in Texas. What the hell is he doing here?"

"I don't know but I do know you don't want to do it this way." He squeezes my shoulders before sliding his hands down my arms and taking my hands in his. "You said you wanted to be the better person. So you can either walk over there and scream and yell at the both of them. Or you can walk over there calmly and end it."

My eyes dart back and forth between Ethan and Justin. God I want to flip out on his ass. Like go all crazy ex-girlfriend on him. Grab skankly Lisa by the hair and throw her down. Beat some class into her. The very thought makes me happy.

Justin squeezes my hands and I look at him. He's right. I need to do the right thing. The grown up thing.

I lean forward and kiss him quickly. "Excuse me please."

He eyes me for a second before climbing out of the booth and letting me pass.

I walk slowly over to the two of them. My mind racing with what to say or do. I still want to throw her down and knock her around. And I want to pour a beer over his head. That seems like something that would make me feel better.

I step up to their table and they both stop talking. Ethan looks up, eyes wide with fear.

He opens his mouth to speak but I cut him off.

"Hi honey. Suprised to see me?" I smile sweetly at him.

"Um...Taylor. Hey." He stammers, eyes darting back and forth. "What're you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing." I cock my head and glance at Lisa. She stares at me, wide eyed, mouth slightly slack. "I'm sorry, I don't think we've met. You are?"

She swallows hard and shoots a look at Ethan. He refuses to meet her eyes. "Um, Lisa."

"Nice to meet you Lisa." I smile at her. "I'm Taylor. Ethan's girlfriend." I turn to him. "Well, you're ex-girlfriend now."

"Taylor," He stands. "Don't-"

I take a step back. "Don't is right. I know this is the same girl from before. Hell, it's probably the same girl you've been fucking since day one, right?"

He opens his mouth but I stop him again. "Save your breath cause I'm done. We are done.  Do not call me. Do not text me. Do not show up at my place."

Without another word, I turn on my heel and walk back to Justin. I see him meet eyes with Ethan and I look away. Part of me wishes I could see the silent conversation the two of them are having but I need to get out of here.

"You ok?" He asks softly as we walk outside.

"Yea, I'm good." I smile up at him. "I'm better than good actually."

"You sure?" He stops me. "Cause-"

I stand up on my toes and press my mouth to his.

"Hey. Why the hell are you ignoring my calls?"

I look up and smile when I see Justin standing in the doorway. "I didn't know you were calling."

He walked across the room and stood in front of my desk, arms crossed. "That's why god invinted caller ID. Maybe you should look at the phone when it rings."

"You haven't call me, ass." I reach out and pick up my cell phone. "All my calls have been from...Oh."

"Oh?" He smirks at me. "Try again?"

"I'm so sorry. I do seem to have missed your phone calls." I grin up at him. "Forgive me?"

He laughs a little. "Yea, I guess I could. But I should get something in return."

"Is that so?" I lean back in the chair. "What would you like?"

He raises his eyebrows and an evil grin forms on his lips. "Wouldn't you like to know."

I laugh, shaking my head. This guy is too cute for hiw own good.

"Lunch will surfice for today."

"I could do that."

"Good. I already ordered it and it should be here in a few minutes." He walks back to the door. "I'm going to run downstairs, grab it and come back. We got a date?"

I can feel myself blush a little at his choice of words. "Yea, we have a date."

He laughs and leaves the room.

I know it seems like I'm moving into this....thing, I can't call it a relationship yet, with Jusitn easily with no feas or issues but that's not the case. I'm freaking the fuck out. A big part of me wants to just put a stop to it. I mean, how much have either of us really changed since we broke up? Cause while I feel different about myself and how I am with him, I'm still the same person. And he, well, he seems like the same guy he's always been. I haven't seem him do or say anything that would change my mind.

Sure he's been really present and here but he did that before. It didn't last long. I'm scared that he's going to want to forge ahead with this thing now that Ethan is out of the picture. And if I say no or show any type of hesitance, he'll just drop me and be done. And as scared as I am, I know I don't want that.

I heard someone knock softly on my door before pushing it open.

"That was quick." I say without looking up. "I thought it'd take-"

My mouth snaps shut when I look up to see Ethan standing in front of me.

"What the hell are you doing here?"I demand.

He licks his lips and shoves his hands in his pockets. "I wanted to talk to you."

"There's nothing to talk about." I stand. "You cheated, we're done."

"Come on Taylor! It wasn't like we didn't talk about the possibility of seeing other people."

"We talked about it but you lied about it! You told me that there was no one else!"

"There wasn't!" He threw his hands in the air. "Lisa was just this stupid mistake."

"Well she's your mistake now."

I can't believe he actually has the nerve to show up at my place of work and try to talk about this. What part of 'we're over' did he not understand?

"Please." He pleads with me. "Let me explain."

"Explain what?"

We look to see Justin standing in the doorway, a bag of food in his hands.

"Justin, it's fine. He's just leaving." I walk to the side of my desk. "Right? You're just leaving?

Ethan looks back and forth between us. "No, we're not done here."

I start to say something but Justin put the bag of food down on my desk before pulling himself into his full height. "I think she said you were leaving."

This is not going to end pretty.

Ethan narrows his eyes at Justin and my breathing picks up. I have no clue what's going to happen. The both of them look pretty pissed right now.

"Is this what you've been doing while I've been gone?" Ehtan sneers at me.

"I'm warning you, man. You better leave before you say something you regret." Justin's voice is low.

Ehtan laughs and I can feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up. This is going to end very, very badly.

"Come Taylor, just tell me?" He taunts. "You been having a little extra fun at work? Is that why you came back to work for him?"

Before I can even blink Justin has Ethan pinned up against the wall. "You better watch what you say from now on. She said it was over and she asked you to leave. I'm not going to tell you again."

Ethan shoves Justin off him and brushes his hands down his shirt. "This is bullshit! I'm not the only one who fucked this up Taylor and you know it. You were never in this." He brushes past Justin, bumping his shoulder in the process. I can see Justin clench his hands. "You're not worth it anyways."

He slams the door behind him. I jump when I hear him yelling as he makes his way down the hallway.

My mind is racing and I collapse in one of the chairs in front of my desk. "Holy shit."

Justin walks over and kneels in front of me. "You ok?"

I look at him, his eyes soft with concern. His hands rubbing up and down my arms. I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that he just had Ehtan pinned up against the wall. For me. He stood up for me, no questions asked. He acted like the guy that I've been hoping was in there for so long now.

How can I keep running from this?

"So I'm supposed to just give you my keys?" Trace cocks an eyebrow at me. "Do I look like I have a death wish?"

I roll my eyes and reach out to snatch them from his hands. "Give me a break. He will not kill you. He won't even yell at you."

"Says the girl he's banging."

"Excuse me?" I narrow my eyes at him.

He laughs and throws an arm over my shoulder. "You heard me."

"We are not sleeping together you asshat." I bump my hip against his as we walk into Whole Foods.

"Yet." He removes his arm and reaches for a basket. "But tonight....bow chicka bow wow."

"You are a complete and total moron." I laugh.

"Admit it; I'm your favorite person of all time." He reaches for a bottle of wine.

"That you are." I bounce on my toes and press a kiss to his cheek. "Who else would go shopping with me?"

"We're at Whole Foods smart girl, not on Robertson Boulevard."

"Shopping is shopping." I reach out for a tomato and look it over. "This is a good idea, right?" He stops walking and turns to me. "I mean, I'm doing the right thing, right?"

"Is this what you want? Cause if it is, then that's all that matters." He shifts his weight to the other foot. "You know he's going to more than ok with all this. Hell, I'd be more than ok with it. He's getting a home cooked meal out of it."

I smile, feeling a little more relieved but not completely at ease.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Table's set, the chicken is almost done, and the wine is the perfect temperature. All that's left to do is light the candles and serve the food.  Easy.

Yea, right. I feel like I'm going to throw up. I have never put myself out there like I'm getting ready to do. I don't care what Trace or Lori say, there's still a chance he's going to say no. And then I'll be back to square one.

"Breaking and entering?" I look up and see Justin leaning against the wall, smirk firmly on his face.

"Not so much breaking and entering as it is letting myself in." I return the smirk. "I have Trace's keys so if you want to get technical, he let me in. But feel free to call the cops if you want."

"Only if we can keep the handcuffs." He winks.

I can't help but laugh at him. This is why I'm here. I want more of this in my life. "I hope you're hungry." I pull the pan out of the oven. "Cause I cooked."

He walks towards where I'm standing and looks at the chicken. "Is it safe to eat?"

"Shut up." I reach out and smack him playfully. "Can you just go sit down and relax?"

"Fine, fine." He raises his hands up in mock salute and walks over to the table. "You want?" I turn to see he has the bottle of wine poised over my glass.

"Please." I smile at him.

Once I've set food on both our plates, I walk over and place one in front of him, the other in front of my seat and sit down beside him. "Dig in."

After a few minutes of thoughtful silence on both our parts he looks up at me. "Is there any reason you're here? Not that I'm not glad you're here making dinner but I'm just a little shocked."

I lick my lips and steel myself. "I've done a lot of thinking in the last few days." I look up at him. I almost lose my train of thought at the way he's looking at me. It's a little unnerving having him just stare at me like this. "I wanted to make you dinner and doing this whole, completely cheesy thing to let you know that.....Ethan is out of the picture."

"I knew that already." He grins at me. "Remember the pinning up against the wall thing the other day? Because I thought you were there for that? I might be wrong but-"

I reach out and cover his mouth with my hand but I can still see the teasing in his eyes. It's right at this second that I realize how much I truly missed him. Missed us.

"And if you still....want me, then I'm done running."

His eyes search mine a minute before he reaches up and pulls my hand away from his mouth. I blush when I realize that it was still there. He threads his fingers through mine, pulling me closer to him.

"Trust me," He leans in close. His lips brushing against mine. "I still want you."

I smile as he presses his lips hard against me. "Kinda figured as much."

He laughs when I pull away. "How could I say no? You went all out. The whole nine yards with the candles and homemade dinner. That'd just be mean to say no after all that."

"Remind me again why I'm still sitting here?" I shot him a look.

"Cause you love me?" He says and I can see it in his eyes. He's asking. And I don't know what to say. I feel very strongly for him. I care for him more than I've ever cared for anyone but I still don't know if I love him.

I open my mouth to say something but he stops me. "It's ok." He shrugs, reaching out to squeeze my hand. "I don't want you to say it if you don't mean it. That's not fair to either of us."

I look at him as he brings the fork up to his mouth. I want to much to say it to him but he's right. It's not fair to say it if I don't mean it. And when I do say it, I want to mean it with every fiber of my being. And I want him to know I'm saying it because I can't hold it in any more.

"You have got to be kidding me?" I roll my eyes when I see the cover of US weekly. I reach out against my own will and pick it up to flip to the cover story.

I let out a laugh when I see the picture of Ethan and Lisa smiling wrapped up in each other's arms. Him in a suit and her in a wedding dress. Yes, a damn wedding dress. They actually got married. It hasn't even been two months since I broke up with him. I shouldn't be surprised but come the fuck on? He told me nothing was going on with her and then he marries her?

"Hey, you got everything?" Justin's voice comes up behind me.

"Yep." I put the magazine back and turn to him. His eyes flit over to the magazine and he just shakes his head. "Let's go."

"So, only two books today?" He looks down at my hands. "I'm shocked."

I bump him with my hip, biting my lip to keep from smiling. "I'm not that bad."

"You should own stock in Barnes and Noble. The amount of money you spend here is ridiculous."

"Says the man with 600 pairs of shoes."

"They get worn don't they?"

I watch as the cashiers eyes light up when she notices Justin's standing in front of her. "The books get read don't they?"

"Nerd." He smiles at me.

"Whatever." I turn to the young girl. "I have a card but don't have it with me, can you look it up?"

She nods and sneaks another glance at Justin. "Did you find everything ok?"

"We did, thank you." To this day it still takes everything to keep from rolling my eyes at the crazy fans.

Not to say that he doesn't deserve the credit and reorganization he gets but the man is at a bookstore right now. It is not the time to freak out and go all crazy fan girl.

"I'm hungry." He looks around bored and I know it's because the girl is making him uncomfortable. "Can we go get some lunch or something?"

I reach out and take the bag from the girl before turning to him. "Yea, we can do that."

"I'm...I'm sorry but can I have your autograph?"

We both stop when we hear the shy voice behind us. I look up and just catch him let out a little sigh before turning on the charm and facing her.

"No problem." He reaches out and signs a piece of paper she handed him. "There you go."

"Thank you so much." She stares down at the paper with a dreamy look in her eyes and this time I do roll my eyes.

He gives a quick nod before turning back to me. "Food, please."

I link my arm through his, my eyes catching the cover of US weekly again and I can't help but say a silent prayer that I got as far away from Ethan as possible.

I haven't seen him or spoken to him since he walked out of my office that day and to be perfectly honest, I couldn't be happier. The man is insane and I'm just glad I got out when I did. Otherwise I might have been the girl in the wedding dress standing next to him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I'll call you when I get off the plane." His voice sounds through the phone.

I shuffle through the paperwork in front of me, completely submerged in work. "Yea."

"Taylor, put the work aside for a minute and talk to me."

I sigh and sit back in the chair, relief coursing through my body for the first time all day.

"I'm sorry but I've a lot to get done and with you coming back into town it all needs to be done and out to your minions." I push my hair away from my face.

"So I'll come back in a day or two."

"No, don't do that. You're already at the airport." I roll my neck, winching when it pops. "Besides I'm almost done I just really need some food and I don't see myself being able to leave for a while."

"It's almost six there."

I glance at the corner of my computer screen and inwardly groan when I see he's right. "I was much better until you pointed that out, thank you."

He laughs a little and I smile at the sound. I haven't seen him in almost two weeks and I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss the hell out of him.

"Look I'm going to be there in a few hours and we'll go grab a late bite and then do nothing."

"Sounds promising but I'm not leaving until I get this all done." I glance back down at the paperwork spread out on my desk.

"Taylor." His voice full of warning.

"Look, I know you're the boss and you can do whatever you want but I work really hard at what I do and I don't want anyone else thinking I got my job by fucking the boss." I can hear the annoyance in my voice and I feel bad.

"No one thinks that." He says. "And don't take your shitty day out on me."

"I'm sorry."I close my eyes. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine but you need to relax and take a quick break." He tries to reason with me. "Go take a quick walk or something, get some fresh air and you'll be fine."

I nod. "Ok, ok, I'm moving."

"Good girl. I'll see you at the house." He pauses. "You'll be there right?"

I peek back down at the paperwork then at the clock. "Yea, I'll see you there."

Three hours later I'm still sitting in my office, everyone else long gone. But I'm too wrapped up in what I'm doing to notice that. Too busy to notice that Justin should be home already.

I lean back in my seat and rub my eyes, my makeup worn off by now. I know I should leave and head over to Justin's house. But I'm so determined to get this done before I leave. I love my job but sometimes I forget how much paperwork is involved.

"I thought I told you to go home."

I look up and can't stop the smile from forming when I see Justin crossing the room, a bag of McDonald's in his hand.

"Really though, why are you still here?" He sits in front of me and opens the bag.

I shrug and reach for my burger. "I just want to get it all finished before I leave."

He shakes his head. "You work too damn hard."

I narrow my eyes at him. "Cause you're one to talk."

He chuckles and suddenly puts his fries down. "I forgot." I watch as he reaches into the pocket of his jacket and pulls out two beer cans. "It's after five and I'm the boss."

"You are nothing but trouble." I laugh when he places one in front of me.

"Guilty as charged." He smirks and leans back in the chair. "You almost done?"

I nod, mouth too full of food to answer him. He moves down in the chair so that he can rest his head against the back of the chair and focuses his attention on finishing the fries.

I just watch him, his eyes heave from lack of sleep and I know he's exhausted. I'm guessing he went to his house and when he saw I wasn't there he drove here. The thought alone makes me warm all over. The dinner and the beer is just what I needed to catch my second wind.

That and seeing him. Two weeks is a long time.

And then it hits me.

I put my burger down and sit up straighter. His head is tilted back and his eyes closed.

"Justin." I watch him.

"Hmm?" He hums without opening his eyes.

"I love you."

He opens his eyes slowly and drops his chin to his chest and looks at me. A slow smile spread across his features but he doesn't say anything.

He's killing me just sitting there looking at me. I wish he'd say something.

"Say it again."

My breathing catches in my throat and I have never felt more content and unsettled in my life. Only Justin can make me feel this way.

"I love you." I smile.

He leans across the desk and with his face inches from mine says, "I knew you'd come around." I laugh as he presses his lips to mine. "I love you too."