The dealer shuffled the cards. Then he cut the deck. He dealt me five cards facedown. I snatched them from the table. It only took me two seconds to realize that my playing hand was absolute bullshit.

What are the odds of being dealt a hand of 1-2-3-4-5? I mean I had already lost the last two rounds of poker with better hands. I think I should save face now and quit.

“Hey guys, I’m out.” Four bland faces stared back at me. They all assumed that I was trying to cheat them out of a winning hand.

Marcellis, my mocha brother from another mother, shoved my shoulder playfully, and said, “Man, Justin quit playing!” Noah, my milky-white play cousin from Cedonia and 31st just ignored me. Vincent, who was two shades darker than Marcellis but swore he was Puerto Rican, seized the cards from my grasp. And Daniel, my golden-tanned and blonde-haired God brother who pretends to be my clone, just laughed in my face.

Daniel. That horse’s ass is the reason I am here on this cruise. The Pleasure Seekers Cruise. Funny, I have been here for three days and I have yet to receive any pleasure. And yes, I have been seeking. Yet, Daniel promised that this singles’ cruise is just what I need.

See, a month ago I was ready to marry my college sweetheart. I had a horrible bachelor party to boot. Still, however, I went to the chapel. I stood in front of all my family and friends. Everyone attended except for Charity, my bride. She stood me up after I had already paid for everything. She embarrassed me in front of my mother! That BITCH.

God, I am so tired of women ripping me off. The night before my wedding, at my bachelor party, some stripper ripped me off. She stole my timepiece. My grandfather gave me that timepiece. That B-I-T-C-H.

“Hey Justin, you wanna play another game then?” Daniel interrupted my bitter reverie.

“Yeah sure, whatever.” Once we all agreed that the game was over, we spent a few minutes cleaning up the cards. Next, we were trying to decide on what game to play. Noah asked if we wanted to play Uno. Uno? Seriously, who carries a deck of Uno cards around? Apparently, Noah the Nerd does. Needless to say, we all turned down Noah’s suggestion.

“Um,” Marcellis began scratching his head and then he grinned, “Let’s play, I’ve never.” There was a chorus of hell no’s. “C’mon I’ll start.” A series of groans followed until we all gave in.

“To my right, a game of I’ve never…been ripped off by a big booty stripper chick! Ha-ha ha!” Marcellis then proceeded to choke on his own laughter rather than my fist.

“That’s not even funny.” At least it wasn’t funny right now. Besides they all had they share of teasing moments, including moms. She said it serves me right for inviting (her words) “those loose women to my party.” Whatever! Strippers are not supposed to steal when you’re already giving them your money. Chocolate Pudding got five hundred big ones and my timepiece.

“C’mon on homey, drink up. It happened to you.” Marcellis urged, shoving my glass towards my face in an attempt to force me to take a sip. I wanted to spit on his hand instead.

“I still can’t believe you let that chick stick you for ya paper!” Stick me for my what? She stole my timepiece not my money. Wait, that timepiece was worth a lot of money. Damn, she got me. And that buttmuncher had a point after all.

Weeks after my bachelor party, I hired a private investigator to find Ms. Chocolate Pudding. No results so far. Obviously, Chocolate Pudding is not her birth-given name. She had no record of robberies at other parties. I couldn’t even give them a picture profile of her because I had been blindfolded for most of the private session. I was seduced to the point that I didn’t care what they were doing to me. And I only caught a glimpse of Pudding’s face before she got away.

Initially, I wasn’t even going to go on this cruise. My intent was to find Pudding, get my timepiece back, and possibly a free lap dance for the pain and suffering.

“Okay Justy Wussy, we can play something else.” Marcellis was still on my case. “Think of something Vince.” Vince. I had forgotten he was even at the table with us. He had been in a whole ‘nother twilight zone for some minutes now.

Daniel clapped his hands. “Vince! Start a new game.”

“Oh.” He blinked, a signal that he had returned to earth. “Truth or dare?” He blurted.

“What?” Where are they coming up with these corny ass high school games? Next, we’re going to find some chicks so we can play Seven minutes in Heaven.

“Truth or dare?”

Oh what the hell. “Truth.”

“Okay answer honestly…” I nodded. “If you were ever to see Chocolate Pudding again…” He paused so he could laugh a little. “What would you do?”

“Oh this one is easy.” I rubbed my palms together in preparation. “I would grab her by her neck, take my timepiece back, and then strangle her and cut off her air supply until she falls to my feet writhing with apologies!”

“Hey Justin you can hold on to that sadistic fantasy, okay?” Noah had turned beet red. He was so weak-minded sometimes.

“Yeah, okay. Hey Vince why did you ask about what’s her face?” I didn’t want to say her name.

“I think I see Chocolate Pudding.”

“What!” Everyone turned around except for me. I knew they were playing another cruel joke on me.

“No more games. I’m too drunk to whoop ass tonight.”

“Seriously, Justin, no games this time. Pudding is right behind you. Mmm she still fine! Got damn!” Marcellis knocked fists with the rest. I guess I might as well turn around. If they break my neck, they just break my neck.

Oh shit, is it really her? I blinked. Let me run through a mental checklist. Smooth Hershey-like skin? Check. Ample cleavage on display? Check. Ass worthy of its own holiday? Check, check. It was her!

Why did she have to be such a good-looking thieving bitch? She should’ve been put-a-paper-bag-over-her-head ugly.

Instead, she had large almond-shaped hazel eyes with long dark fluttering lashes, a cute button nose, and a dazzling white smile preceded by plump lips. She had hair so dark and lustrous that it could’ve been mistaken for the midnight sky. And right now, she had no idea that I found her or that I’ve been looking for her.

Too late, I decided not to call out to her. “Hey, you BITCH!”

Still wearing a smile, Pudding glanced in my direction before breaking out into a Carl Lewis sprint.

Rewind…

Suddenly shirts became illegal and suddenly I was a little overdressed with slacks and a t-shirt. I adjusted my black mask with tiny speckles of gold around the eyes and shook my head.

When my eyes landed on a fiery temptress in silk and lace, I realized why I had even bothered to come. This was my bachelor party and all this nakedness was for me! However, the one I really wanted was standing about five feet away. She was the one in the corner that had the sweetest ass this side of Texas. I hope she’s the star stripper that will be providing my private lap dance. And the outfit she wore highlighted the milk chocolate tone of her skin, made we wish I could take a lick of that sexy candy bar…mmm.

She wore a sexy crimson-red corset and skirt style bottoms that showed just a hint of a thong. I allowed my eyes to linger for a moment as I committed her contours to memory, watching her from the corner of my eye, savoring the sight of her back, her face concealed in a red lace mask, the rise of her breasts and on those rare occasions the slight bounce of her ass as she walked across the room. I fingered my collar as the room’s temperature skyrocketed.

The woman had a body that screamed the words T-A-K-E-M-E-N-O-W. She was fine as hell. She had curves made just for my hands to hold onto. And thick, pretty legs meant to wrap around my waist as I…Swallowing hard, I didn’t dare allow myself to finish the fantasy. But I would give anything just to have one dance with her while I was still a single man.

“Yo’ J!” Marcellis strutted over to me with his two bosom buddies, Vanilla Wafer and Caramel Coated.

I crossed my arms over my chest pretending to be bored so he wouldn’t notice me trying to eye the delicious sweet thing in the corner. Apparently, I wasn’t doing such a good job of hiding my interest because Vanilla Wafer smiled at me. She turned to follow my line of vision.

“You have your eye on Chocolate Pudding?” I had more than my eye on Chocolate Pudding.

“She’s for you.” Caramel Coated spoke up with a grin adjusting her mask to peer at me. Whoa…back up.

“What?”

Marcellis glanced at his wrist watch and grinned as well, “You have a session with Chocolate Pudding in about thirty seconds.”

“In fact she should be making her way over here to get you.” As soon as the words left Vanilla Wafer’s mouth, Chocolate Pudding had suddenly appeared beside me. My pulse raced as the scent of her perfume wafted into my nose.

The three deliciously flavored women shared a knowing look before they crowded around me and led me away to a secluded area. Had someone turned off the air conditioner? I suddenly felt hot.

As I was pulled away into a private room that looked more like a coatroom closet, I could hear a chorus of chanting. Go Justin Go Justin. And then the chorus ended as the door closed behind me. The room was bathed in a dark glow; I had to strain my eyes to check out my surroundings. I couldn’t make out much.

I inhaled a sharp breath as she came into full view in front of me. The first thought that crossed my mind was if the “no touching” rule was enforced at my bachelor party. I guess it was, because before I could form another thought… a blind fold was covered over my eyes.

“You ready?” The throaty tone of her voice had further accelerated my pulse.

“What is the blindfold for?” I was confused about the use of it, but I was too afraid to ask if the use of the blindfold meant that I could touch instead.

Chocolate Pudding didn’t bother to answer me as I felt the softness of her thigh brush mine followed by the sound of sensual music that assaulted my ears.

My hands flexed as I blindly reached for her leg.

“No touching below the waist.” She firmly reminded me, repositioning my hand on her waist. No touching either? Well could she at least touch me? My mind roared with possibilities.

“Um…Ms. Chocolate Pudding” I called into the darkness, when the space between us increased again. It barely felt like she was still in the room.

I heard some rummaging before she answered me, “Yes.”

“Are you going to dance or what?”

“Oh.” She responded and dropped unexpectedly onto the bulge in my lap. I groaned aloud at the force of it.

She moved in closer to me and began moving her hips in slow circles on my lap. As if she couldn’t get any closer than she was now, she positioned her legs along my hips as her breath tickled the sides of my face and the generous swells of her breasts rested just beneath my chin. I suddenly wanted to rub my face between the lush globes and I did.

“Oh shit that tickles.” Chocolate Pudding giggled aloud and jerked on my lap. I jerked too. Damn!

I moved to do it again but this time she ran her fingers through my hair to pull my head away. The action caused my blindfold to slip a little on one eye and I caught a glimpse of her breasts, which were right in front of my face.

I looked up to check out her face but she pushed my head back down into her cleavage and began fondling my pants. Whoa! This must be the deluxe special edition lap dance.

She arched, she bent, twisted and turned, riding me through my slacks, which were so thin that I could feel everything. She gave one more roll of her hips then swung her leg off me and stood.

I quickly removed the blindfold to see her sashaying backside exiting the room, more like running from the room. That was the best lap dance I ever had! I exited the room about two minutes later making sure I didn’t look like a complete fool. Although, there wasn’t much I could do about my state of arousal. I reached inside my pocket to check the time and realized that my timepiece was gone.

I rushed after her but I was too late. Pudding had somehow dipped into her Spidey senses and clung her way up the stripper pole into a hole in the ceiling.

I shot quickly to my feet. I was going to go after her and catch her ass this time. Of course, after I had my timepiece back I could do what I wanted with her. Oh, the things I was going to do to her when I got my hands on her.

“Sonya, Vanessa run!” Pudding screamed.

As I pushed through the narrow aisles between dining tables, I spotted Vanilla Wafer and Caramel Coated in the corner staring at me with wide eyes. The two of them were in on it too! They must’ve set up the whole scam as a team. Bitches.

My boots stomped against the wooden planks as I tried not to lose them, especially Pudding. I wonder what her real name is.

“Yo’ Marcellis catch Vanessa.” Of course, Marcellis ignored my demand; he was having too much fun laughing at the spectacle I displayed. Why couldn’t I have some friends that had my back?

“Vanessa get my purse!” Vanessa did as Pudding requested, but she would have to go back through me to get to that purse. Vanessa formerly known as Vanilla Wafer paused in front of me. I hope she was prepared to bob and weave because I wasn’t letting her get to that purse. I could almost bet that my damn timepiece was in that purse too.

I reached forward to grab a limb, anything to bring her down. At least then, I would have caught one of these conniving bitches. But to no avail, her arm slipped from my grasp and instead I was the one that fell flat on my face. Vanessa didn’t even blink. She snatched up the purse while making sure to step on me on her way back, yet not before she stooped low to whisper one crucial phrase in my ear.

“Her name is Ayanna.” And with that last phrase, she ran off behind Thelma & Louise.

Ayanna.

I can’t believe her “friend” actually snitched on her like that, but what do I care. I have a name to go with a face now. And I don’t care if it took the rest of my vacation on this cruise…I was going to find Ayanna and get my damn timepiece back.

While rubbing the sore spot on my back, I struggled to my feet, yet not before Sonya ran back to smash her plate of chocolate cake in my face and curse me out. She made sure to smear it in real good too before skipping off with her bosom buddies.

This concludes episode one of The Attack of the Stripper Bandits.

~*~*~*~

Twenty minutes later, I was fuming in the back of the line awaiting my turn to speak with the cruise owner.

The sea was unusually restless, frothing against the ship. The wind blew like soft hair against my skin. Even the sky was a murky gray. It all matched my mood perfectly.

“Damn Justin. You have the worst luck.” Daniel spoke up, hiding his giggles behind his palm. I hate when people tell me shit that I clearly already know.

I wiped my face with the bottom of my shirt just to make sure I removed all remnants of cake. Not only did I have a vendetta against Ayanna for stealing my timepiece but I also had one against Sonya, though I didn’t know what I was going to do to her when I caught her. I’ll let Marcellis deal with her.

When I came out of my thoughts, my so-called friends were still talking about me. I ignored them and moved to the front of the line.

“Yes, how may I help-” I didn’t give her the chance to complete her sentence before I began ranting.

“I need to find a woman.” I slammed my hand on the desk, jarring the woman a little.

“Well sir this is The Pleasure Seekers Cruise. What type of woman are you interested in?” She reached down to retrieve a notebook from a low shelf.

“Her name is Ayanna and I need to know her room number right now.”

She looked up from the book to stare at me incredulously, “We don’t give out that type of information sir. But I’ll be happy to take a message that I’ll be sure to get back to her.” The type of message I wanted to leave, she would never accept.

“You don’t understand. I came on this cruise to win her back.” As soon as the statement left my mouth, the guys broke out into a fit of giggles behind me. How could I keep a straight face if they were acting like immature idiots?

“She stole his heart.” I wanted to slap Noah for that statement, but it obviously worked because she placed her hand over her heart and smiled.

She quickly began scanning the pages for an “Ayanna” listed on the cruise. “We have an Ayanna Barnett listed here accompanied by two friends.” That had to be her and her thieving crew.

“Yes that’s her!” This was fantastic! Now I had a full name. That woman will wish she never double-crossed Justin Timberlake.

~*~*~*~

Five minutes later, I had everything planned to trap Ayanna, thanks to the lovely service provided by the cruise line. Ayanna should be walking through that the door in about five minutes. The masseuse had informed me that she was scheduled for a two o’clock full body massage. And thanks to my lie about being her ex-boyfriend, I’d be the one providing the massage.

I adjusted the hat on my head as I heard the rattling of the doorknob.

“Enjoy your massage girl.” That must’ve been that bitch Sonya.

“Oh I will.” She sure enough will. I’ll make damn sure she does.

I rubbed my palms together as I slowly walked toward her body laying face down on the massage table. From my higher position and feeling very much like Victor Frankenstein, I observed her. Her skin was as smooth as I recalled. Yet, too bad I was about to claw my nails into it.

“Are you ready Madame?” Laying my palms flat against her back, I tried very hard to disguise my voice.

“Oh yea-” Suddenly, her curvy form seemed to stiffen beneath my sweaty palms. She whirled around too fast, slipping off the table onto the floor. Yet, with her skills, she managed to jump to her feet with the towel wrapped around her waist still in tact. I didn’t get any peek-a-boo treats.

Ayanna screamed and then tried to make a run for it, but Justin Timberlake possessed a few super powers of his own. I leapt across the table and clasped onto the dangling end of the towel. I attempted to overpower her by wrestling her to the table. She hollered, but fought me every step of the way. I put my hand over her mouth so she wouldn’t scream out again. I was so sick of this chasing her down bullshit. We were going to end this now, once and for all.

“Where is my timepiece Ayanna? I want it back now!” Her eyes widened. “Yes. I know your real name Ms. Ayanna Barnett aka Chocolate Pudding aka Thieving Ass Stripper.” I spat with emphasis. “Your friend Vanilla Wafer ratted you out.” I guess she wasn’t too pleased to hear that about her friend because before I knew it, Ayanna was chopping on my hand like a damn beaver.

“You bit me!” I yelped like a little puppy.

“You put your hand over my mouth so that I couldn’t talk!” She complained, slipping a fluffy robe over her existing towel.

“Oh yeah my bad, how dare I do such a thing! Bad Justin!” I rolled my eyes.

“Exactly.” She exited through another door and left me alone in the small cabin.

Damn did she get away again? No. She was coming back. She just went to change.

If I stand here and believe that, I am a much bigger idiot than I thought.

Just as I moved toward the door that Ayanna disappeared through, Noah and Daniel burst into the room, hollering and fumbling over each other’s words.

“Justin, man we just saw Pudding making a run for it!”

“Why in the hell didn’t you follow her!” I have a bunch of idiots for friends.

“Marcellis and Vince went after her.” Noah inhaled a quick and necessary breath of air, “I’m going to find security!” And then he rushed out of the cabin. I looked at Daniel and wondered what he was going to do to help. He opened his mouth to speak.

“Man, you should’ve seen how fast that chick was running in those heels. It was truly a Kodak moment!”

~*~*~*~*~*~

After several minutes, I began to wonder whether chasing Pudding and Friends was worth it. I had checked a number of vacant cabins and bum rushed my way through crowds of people. And because I was in such a hurry, I had been yelled at and called everything but an insensitive bastard when I almost knocked over this old lady. However, a woman with one foot already secured in the bucket of death had no business being on a singles’ cruise anyway.

Rapid movements ahead had suddenly caught my attention. There was a blur consisting of Marcellis and Vincent. And more than a few feet ahead of them was none other than a fluffy-white robe wearing Pudding. Bare feet and all, Ayanna managed to create a reasonable distance between her and my cronies. They weren’t gaining on her in the least.

When Ayanna reached the side railing of the ship, she halted. With her hands grasping the railing tightly, she leaned against it and it seemed as if she was contemplating jumping over. And then more than half of her body disappeared over the railing. She had decided to jump!

“No!” I shrieked. As long as she still had my timepiece, she wasn’t going to get away that easy.

A startled and wide-eyed Ayanna glared at me before looking down desperately into the ocean again. I heard her shouting and then I heard several replies from the lower level of the ship. It was Sonya and Vanessa.

“I’m too heavy! You two are not going to catch me, I’m going to drown in the ocean and my body won’t be discovered until months later!”

“Do you want Timberlake to catch you!” Sonya cried. Frightened, she glanced at me and then Marcellis and Vincent. We were much closer now.

“Hell no!”

“Then jump bitch!” Doing as her friend ordered, Ayanna mumbled a prayer and then tossed one leg over the railing.

“No!” I roared. “Vince, Marcellis, go get Sonya and Vanessa!” They whirled around towards the stairs that led to the bottom level. I, on the other hand was just a fraction away.

Suddenly, Ayanna made the mistake of glancing over her shoulder. She panicked and threw her other leg over the railing. The hand that was balancing her gave way and she slipped.

Four nearly identical screams pierced the air.

On its own accord, my hand stretched out hoping to capture some part of her, but I only grasped air. I bent low so that I could extend my arm through the railing bars. Closing my eyes, I searched blindly for some sign of Ayanna. I frantically tapped the surface of the boat until I grasped a fluffy-like material. It was a piece of Ayanna’s robe that had snagged the sharp end of the railing.

That crazy bitch wanted to get away from me that bad that she jumped up off a boat as if that was the only way out. Sure, I really wanted my timepiece back, yet I never said I would kill her for it. Well, I had thought about it earlier, but it didn’t matter now. She already beat me to it and killed herself. And my timepiece was with her…Damn.

Unexpectedly, I heard Ayanna’s name amongst Sonya and Vanessa’s frantic cries.

“Yaya hold on girl! I’ma stand on this railing and see if I can reach you. Then Vanessa’s gonna pull you down!”

“You worthless bitches were supposed to catch me!” Ayanna cried.

“I know we’re sorry. It was a stupid idea! You shouldn’t have jumped!”

“Damn right she shouldn’t have! And look at her now, hanging off the side of the boat like Jack on the Titanic. You three have to be the dumbest criminals I have ever met!”

Three sets of eyes filled with panic and wet with tears glared up at me. Ayanna was barely holding on but she had the nerve to look offended by comments.

“I’m not a criminal!”

“Um…yes-you-are. You stole from me!”

“I didn’t steal from you. That timepiece is mine!”

“What! Did you bump your head when you slipped? The timepiece is mine! My granddad gave it to me.” Ayanna rolled her eyes at that. I’ll say that for someone who is this close to falling to her death, she is very expressive right now.

“Your grandfather stole that from my grandfather. My grandmother brought that timepiece for him on his 30th birthday. And your grandfather stole it from him at a poker game in 1983. So your grandfather is the criminal, not me!”

My granddad, a criminal? I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. And until I had justifiable evidence I never would.

“That is a family heirloom. It has been in the Timberlake family for over twenty years!”

“Look, I don’t give a Timberfuck about that stupid timepiece! My friend is hanging off a boat, now either you help her or find somebody who can!” Sonya demanded from where she was standing on the railings below with Vanessa securely holding onto her waist.

Sighing, I bent low to see what I could do to help. I stretched my hand as far as humanly possible but there was no way I was going to reach Ayanna without some effort on her part. So I asked her to try and pull herself up closer to me.

“I can’t! My arms hurt too much! And my robe is caught!” Aww damn. Next suggestion.

“How about your legs? Can you swing them up and wrap your legs around one of these railing poles?” Ayanna huffed frustratingly, her eyes widening.

“No I cannot.”

“Wait isn’t swinging around poles your thing and you’re telling me you can’t put that skill to use tonight. What a damn shame? And a waste of talent if you ask me.” She couldn’t even make an effort to work a pole when it was actually necessary.

“I’m not really a stripper! Neither one of us are!” What! That news was such a shock to me that I had to delay the task of rescuing Ayanna to clear my mind.

“So how did you get into my bachelor party?” Ayanna had managed to climb up the first railing before answering me.

“Of course, we pretended to be strippers so I could get my timepiece back. My grandfather used to tell me everything about the Timberlake family so I knew all about you. And as soon as I got word that you were getting married, I started coming up with plans to see you, coincidentally of course.” Coincidentally, my ass. She knew what she was doing. I can’t believe she went through all of that for a piece of jewelry. Come to think of it, now I remember how awkwardly quick her private performance had been. I should’ve known she was there for something else. It was the body. It had me distracted.

“Justin we’ll decide about the timepiece once I get on safe ground, can you just help please.” I guess she had a point. I mean I couldn’t exactly let her hang here all night because of a watch.

“Okay…” I’m about to do something incredibly stupid. “I’m going to climb over just a little and lower myself, try to reach my hands.” Ayanna nodded, tears of relief escaping pass her long lashes.

I lowered half of my body over the railing as promised; still my fingers barely grasped the tips of hers.

“Put your feet on the railing above and lift yourself up.” I yelled in desperation, steadily trying to hold onto the railing with my excessively sweaty palms.

“I can’t. My body’s too tired.” That’s understandable. Yet, no one told her too waste all of her energy running from me.

“Just try okay or I might have to let you join Flipper and friends in the ocean.” I smirked even though this wasn’t the time or place for jokes. Ayanna glared, but didn’t dare speak.

Instead, she tried her hardest to lift her weary body and after a minute, she actually made some progress. Even Sonya and Vanessa were cheering her on.

Ayanna was only able to grasp onto one hand. However, that wasn’t enough. I needed more leverage otherwise soon both of us would need rescuing from the side of this boat.

“Can you climb up anymore!” My strength was fading fast.

“No!” Ayanna was crying fat tears of trepidation. Man, where the hell was the Pleasure Seekers rescue team?

“I’m coming down some more, hold on!” Of course, she had no other choice.

This time I climbed over entirely so that my whole body was on the opposite side of the boat. Ayanna wasted no time latching onto me. I couldn’t ignore the burning pain in my arms as Ayanna threw herself at me.

“Oh thank you!” She cried into my neck.

“Um we’re not safe just yet. Climb up me. I’ll wait here and then you pull me up the rest of the way.” Ayanna swung around my back and used the extra support of my shoulders to scramble her way up the railing. She climbed over and then helped me. As soon we were both back on the right side of the boat, we collapsed.

However, Ayanna was still holding onto me and trembling as if she were afraid to let me go. She stared up at me and I saw true appreciation reflected in her gaze. Aww, I actually feel good about myself for doing a good deed tonight when I only planned to spend the last four days on this cruise in a drunken stupor.

“You know what you can have the watch back. My grandfather won’t care about it after I tell him that you saved my life.” Could I really take her timepiece? After all, it probably never belonged to my grandfather. I had heard plenty stories about his robbery days.

“Nah, you keep it’s yours.” I used the railing to pull myself to my feet. Ayanna followed suit.

“You mean it?”

“Yeah,” I shrugged. “It was never really my style anyway.”

“Oh my grandfather will be so happy!” She beamed and in an unplanned and totally unexpected action, Ayanna tossed her arms around my neck and laid a long and hard kiss on me.

“Oops.” She giggled. “Sorry. I couldn’t help myself.”

“I get that a lot actually.” Ayanna pursed her lips at that response.

“Oh what is that wedding bells I hear?” It was the stupid woman from the lobby desk with a whole gang of passengers. Where the hell were they earlier? “Sue this is the man I told you about, that came here to win his girlfriend back. And it looks as if he was successful.” She was beaming with pride and false satisfaction.

“Aww, you guys this is one for the record books. Our first successful hookup on the Pleasure Seekers Cruise Line. Somebody get me a camera.” While she searched effortlessly for a camera, Ayanna stood in the center, confused. I, on the other hand, had a slight idea of what was going on.

Ayanna reached into the deep pocket of her robe and pulled out the infamous timepiece. It dangled from her grasp. “Second thoughts?”

I didn’t get a chance to reply as the bright flash of the camera blinded us both. It seemed more and more flashes from the exuberant staff followed. Soon, they were declining random shots in favor of posed portraits. Marcellis and the rest, including Sonya and Vanessa, all set back with amused expressions.

“Oh get rid of this ugly thing, it’s messing up my shot.” I blinked and the cruise owner had the timepiece in her hand. I blinked again and she was throwing it overboard. About eight of us choked on a gasp.

You dumb bitch! I screamed only to myself but it was clearly expressed either way.

Ayanna tossed her hand into the air. “Aww fuck it. I’m not going through that again. I guess grandpa is shit out of luck.”

“I second that. Dinner?”

Ayanna looked down at her attire. She shrugged. “Sure.”