You don’t say a word as you toss an igloo cooler and a change of clothes into his old pickup truck before climbing in. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea. You’re not this girl. You’re not his girl, you haven’t been for awhile now.

He doesn’t say a word as he climbs into the driver’s seat and you jump slightly as he shuts his door. It was never this awkward before. He starts up the truck as you steal a glance at him.

He’s still as handsome as ever and your heart jumps as he grabs your hand and laces his fingers with yours. He doesn’t look at you as you continue to stare at him.

“So, does he make you happy?” He asks and you swear you can see his jaw clench and his grip on your hand tightens.

“Sometimes.” You answer honestly.

You let out a sigh as you glance out the passenger’s side window, watching the Tennessee scenery pass by. So much has changed between the two of you. Ya’ll went off to separate colleges, fell out of love…at least you tell yourself you fell out of love with him.

Sitting in his truck, being here with him now, lets you know that you never fell out of love with him. You want to tell him so many things. Tell him you love him, tell him you think about him all the time but you don’t.

“Sometimes? So, you sneaked out of your mama’s house while your boyfriend slept, for what?” He asks and you scoot until you’re sitting in the middle beside him, just like you used too.

“You called me Timberlake,” you reply and he chuckles at you, “besides…I haven’t seen you in a while,” you whisper as you squeeze his hand.

He places a soft kiss against your temple and your heart begins to race. Only he’s ever made you feel this way.

His truck makes that familiar turn down that old dirt road that’s still lined with honeysuckle bushes and you can’t hide your grin.

“Remember this place?” He asks as he parks the truck and turns off the engine and it’s déjà vu all over again.

Suddenly you’re taken back to all those lazy summer days that you spent with him at this very spot. That seems so long ago and it has been. The last time ya’ll came here was at the end of Senior year when he told you he decided to go to a different college than you. You had gone home and cried yourself to sleep that night.

“I miss this place.” You say as he helps you out of his truck and grabs the cooler for you.,

I miss you.

He holds your hand as ya’ll walk down the road and through the trees. The moonlight shines on the river as you let him lead you to the dock.

“When did they put a dock here?” You ask as he grins at you.

“Just this past year. My daddy did. He likes to fish out here now.” He explains as he climbs into his daddy’s boat before helping you in.

You hand him the cooler you packed as you settle on the small wooden bench inside the boat. He starts up the boat and takes a seat next to you as he steers ya’ll to the middle of the river. You tilt your head up and look at the Tennessee sky as you feel him grab your hand.

“I could stay out here all night.” You whisper as he merely nods his head at you.

I packed a cooler and a change of clothes

Let’s jump in, see how far it goes

You got my heart and your daddy’s boat

We’ve got all night to make it float

We could sit on the shore

We could just be friends

Or we could jump in

“Why did you come back? After all these years?” You ask as he looks at you.

You start to get nervous under his stare. You fidget as he licks his lips and you wonder what he’s thinking. If you could read his mind this would be so much easier.

“I want a journalism degree. My professor came here so…I followed.” He says with a shrug and your heart drops.

A small part of you was hoping he would say he came back for you.

He licks his lips again as you nod in understanding even though you don’t understand it at all. You hate him. You hate him for being who he is and making you fall in love with him all those years ago. You hate him for licking those lush pink lips of his that you just want to feel on yours. You hate him for taking you to the spot where you went skinny dippin’ with him, where he gave you his ring.

The whole world could change in a minute

Just one kiss could stop it spinning

We could think it through

But I don’t want to, if you don’t want to

We could keep things just the same

Leave here the way we came

With nothing to lose

But I don’t want to, if you don’t want to

“When’s your stuff getting here?” You ask, finally breaking the silence that surrounds ya’ll.

“This weekend. I still have an old shirt of yours. It still smells like you.” He confesses as he runs his thumb over the back of your hand.

Your heart skips a beat. You gave him that shirt three years ago. He still has it.

“You can keep it.” You say as he chuckles.

“Good, because I wasn’t gonna give it back.” He says and you laugh.

“Are you really ready to take his last name? He didn’t even give you a ring.” He says all of a sudden and you turned so that your facing him.

“He did too.” You say defensively.

“Then where is it?”

You look down at the hand that is intertwined in his, your gaze directed down to your ring finger. It’s empty. There’s no engagement ring but you can’t tell him the real reason you don’t want to wear your engagement ring.

Your right hand reaches up to your neck nervously as you finger the silver chain that still holds his high school ring. Your fingers fiddle with his ring as he leans his shoulder into you.

“Is that my ring?” He asks with a small smile and you can’t help but smile back as you nod, “You can keep it.”

“Good, because I wasn’t gonna give it back.” You say as you bump your shoulder into his and he chuckles.

I got your ring around my neck

And a couple of nights I don’t regret

You’ve got a dream of a degree and a shirt that smells like me

“You never answered my question?” He states and you look at him to see what he’s implying but he’s looking out at the river.

“I guess I’m just not sure.” You answer honestly.

Yeah we both got dreams

We could chase alone

Or we could make our own

He turns to face you, cupping your neck with his free hand as he presses his forehead against yours, “Don’t you think that’s something you should be sure about?”

The whole world could change in a minute

Just one kiss could stop it spinning

We could think it through

But I don’t want to, if you don’t want to

We could keep things just the same

Leave here the way we came

With nothing to lose

But I don’t want to, if you don’t want to

“I used to be sure about us.” You say as your eyes meet his and those blue eyes take you back.

You love that feeling you get when he looks at you like he is now. Every day you wonder what would have happened if he had just stayed. If maybe you had gone with him when he asked you too.

Never waste another day wonderin’ what you threw away

Holdin’ me, holdin’ you

I don’t want to, if you don’t want to

“What do you want? I know what I want. I know what I came back for but you’ve got to tell me what you want.” He says as he cups your face, pressing his forehead even harder against yours, trying to make his point.

His lips are millimeters away from yours and if you tilted your head up a bit they would meet. His beautiful blue eyes bore into yours and see his determination. A million thoughts are running through his head and they’re all flickering in his eyes but you see love there. Out of all of those feelings and thoughts and doubts you see love.

“I don’t know what I want.” You whisper and his eyes close as he lets out a sigh before opening them back up.

“I think you do. I came back for you. I heard you got engaged and I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. So tell me what you want….because this…us…it’s in your hands. Be with him if you want, but make sure it’s what you want.” He says as he nuzzles your nose with his.

You close your eyes and take a breath as your hands cover his.

We could keep things just the same

Leave here the way we came with nothing to lose

But I don’t want to, if you don’t want to

But I want to

You open your eyes and the love shining in his eyes almost takes your breath away, “But I want you.”