There I was, standing in the Pittsburgh International Airport, waiting to board our flight. Everyone is overly excited about going to Las Vegas. I'm the sheltered girl that never traveled anywhere until the last couple of years. Even then it was simply to the beach. I was about fly across country, which I have never done before. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right? Take a deep breath and step on the plane. I tell myself over and over again, what could go so wrong? Nothing exciting ever happens to me. I hear my friend screaming down the corridor "Vegas Here We Come!!!!"

Sitting on the plane, headed to impromptu wedding for friends that really shouldn't be getting married. Two people that met nearly four months ago, what makes them think they should get married so fast? Do Vegas weddings ever last? How can I even judge these people, I'm 26, single, and trust no one. I have been single for nearly two years because the last guy I dated hurt me so bad that I can't even think about being in another relationship. Seriously, two years. Get over it.

Kia looks at me and says, "Mel, we are going to have so much fun, you're the lucky one that's single! Live it up girl, were only here a week."

Thanks, Kia for stating the oblivious. I'm the single one; I'm always the single one.

 "I don't want to be the single one again, but I guess I am. Maybe I will meet a guy here, get married and not go home." I smiled then said, "You never know, right?" Kia turned to me with this I don't even think so face and said, "I won't approve of any guy you meet out here." I just laughed and we started talking about what we are going to do while in Vegas.

Finally I drift off, hoping I would get a couple hours of sleep. However I wake to the attendant telling me to put on my seat belt, we are about to land. There's no way. I haven't been asleep that long. I look down at my phone; the time says 10:14am. We have only been on the plane an hour and fourteen minutes.  The flight attendant returns and says that they are having some mechanical issues with the plane and we are landing in Phoenix, AZ. They will put us on the next flight out to Las Vegas.

"When is the next flight out?"

 "12:55pm"

I look at everyone else and we are all thinking the same thing. We are never going to make the wedding.

Stacy snapped up, "I have to see this train wreck of a wedding happen."

I agreed, "Me too. I won't believe it unless I see that it really happened."

We land in Arizona, go into the airport and sit for two and a half hours. We get lunch, alcohol, and more alcohol. Once we finally board the flight, I am convinced something else will happen. For some reason I just had a feeling. However I'm excited about going to Vegas. I have never been there, seven whole days in a place that's completely different than I was used to. I was ready for the experience. I look at all my friends; Steve and Kia are planning what we should do when we finally do get there. Stacy is complaining to Mike that she is tired and wants to just go to the hotel and sleep before the wedding. I, I just wanted to have fun. We finally land and the first thing we do, is grab our luggage or should I say we grab their luggage. My bright pink, heavy suitcase is missing.

"Of course mine would be missing, just my luck." I laugh thinking; I knew that was coming.

 After I flip out on the baggage claim department, I fill out the damn paperwork then head straight to the bar. Not to my surprise there are my friends, already have a beer in hand.

 "It's not here. God knows where it ended up when we changed planes."

What am I supposed to wear to the wedding that is only four hours away? What am I going to wear for an entire week? I just laugh because if not I'm about to scream. I will have to go shopping. I have on jeans and a tank top; I can't seriously wear this to a wedding, even if it's a Vegas wedding. I simply can't do that.

We head to the hotel. The entire cab ride over all I could do is worry about that damn suitcase. I thought my vacation was going to be great, time well deserved to just be happy and lay in the sunshine and do nothing. Well it started out just fucking wonderful.

As we walk up to the counter to check in, I realize that my hotel reservation paperwork is in my suitcase, no my purse. I just chuckle to myself.

"I need to check in, reservations for Melissa Roberts."

The woman at the counter looks at me, looks at the computer, and then looks up again, finally says "We don't have reservations for a Melissa Roberts."

I could feel the heat in my face now. I am going to explode on this woman, who is really not a fault for this. I can't help it. Not only did they lose mine, they lost everyone's. They lost reservations for three rooms, how does this happen? That was the last straw I have had enough, I took a deep breath and just exploded. Everyone in the entire hotel heard me. They all stopped in their tracks to look at the crazy woman at the counter. I have never exploded like this, but it had been a day from hell. I demanded to speak to a manager. I didn't have my paperwork however everyone else had theirs.  The manager claims this has never happened before and blah blah blah. The hotel at been over booked for some huge event happening today. They ended up giving us the penthouse, because it was the only room left for the night and a refund of our entire trip package. We are sitting in the lobby, while they get the penthouse ready for us. I had a great idea. "Why don't we get out of this town? We only have the hotel for one night. We already have to find someone else to stay. We have all of our money let's just go someone else. Start our vacation over."

 Kia suggests that we go to California; I have always wanted to go to L.A. see the sites.  Stacy thinks we should go to Texas, see her family she hasn't saw in years. Steve wants to go home, save the money they gave him back. Mike, well Mike just doesn't care what we do. We decided to think on it for a while and get ready for the wedding.

I had to get something to wear so I went shopping for a dress. I walked in the first store I saw and completely fell in love with the first dress in the window. A short, lace covered, yellow tank style dress that was just gorgeous but I doubt I would be able to wear it to anything at home again. I didn't have time to spend looking for a cheaper dress so I just bought it. Spent more money on a dress than I ever thought I would spend on a dress that would be worn once. I had to buy shoes of course, no luggage, no shoes. I found a pair of purple heels that were just perfect. They were not nearly as much as the dress but close. Shoes are my weakness. I'm surprised I didn't purchase a very expensive pair. I returned to the hotel to find everyone else already getting ready. The penthouse looked like it was from the Real World Las Vegas season. I didn't want to get ready I wanted to enjoy the night in this beautiful room overlooking the downtown area of Las Vegas.

I'm getting ready for the wedding and my phone rings. They found my luggage. It was in San Francisco and it would be delivered after 8:00pm when the flight comes in. The phone rings again, I think please don't tell me there is something wrong with my damn luggage. I race to answer the phone, it's my mother.

She is yelling at me. "Why didn't you call when you landed? You said you would call. You know I would have worried until I heard from you."

That was my mother. She worried about things before there was ever anything to worry about. I started to ramble about the events of the day, "Well it's been non-stop drama. Our plane had to land early in AZ, we waited hours and finally got to Vegas, and then my luggage went missing. It's in San Francisco. I had to buy a dress for the wedding and now we are finally getting ready to leave. It's been a crazy day, sorry I forgot to call."

I step out of the room and Kia and Stacy are standing there. Kia says "Damn girl, that dress is smokin' on you. You look amazing."

I smile and say thanks. I felt sexy in the dress so I'm glad at least one person thought so, even if it was a friend that said it to make me feel good.

See my friends were all thin and gorgeous. Kia was this petite gorgeous woman. She had that dark complexion that everyone wished for, the flawless brown hair that just looks like she stepped out of a salon every day. She may complain about not having any boobs, but the girl's got the booty. She is the person that would give you the shirt off her back if you really needed it. She is the friend, most like me. She was my other half, my dearest friend. Steve is one of my best friend's in the world. He is Kia's husband, however I knew Steve before Kia. He is the most gracias yet straight forward person you will ever meet. He is the hot guy, perfect for Kia right? He has the perfectly toned body, goes to the gym every other day; he is content with his life not changing at all. He likes a routine. Stacy has the beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes. She would make you turn back to see her again. She is the type of person that once she makes up her mind; regardless of what it is, she is going to do it. But getting her to that point is the issue. She needs to be entertained at all times, which irritates most people. Her husband is Mike. I met while he was playing in local band that we would see frequently in any bar we would go to. He is the tall lanky one. He is the quiet one that just goes with the flow of everything. If Mike is upset or angry, you know that it is worse than you could ever imagine.

We jump in a cab and head down to the chapel. I sit quietly thinking to myself. I never thought I would be the last person to get married. I honestly thought I would marry someone right out of high school and live happily ever after, boy I was wrong about that one. My father died when I was almost two. I grew up in a household where my mother really never loved my dad, they were just together. I could feel the tension in the household every day. I saw the heartache it caused my mother, I learned from her choices or so I thought. I told myself I would never trust a guy like that. She left him when I was nearly fifteen; it clearly was the best choice she had ever made. It didn't matter though, the damage was done. I was headstrong and guarded beyond belief. The first guy I ever really dated, used me, and broke my heart. I changed a lot after that relationship. I didn't date, at all. It was nearly three years later that I had met a guy that I could attempt to trust again. He was a great guy, had a great family, only one major point that didn't fit, he didn't love me. We were together two years, and on the way home from visiting his sister for the weekend he said he wasn't in love with me. He never did love me. He had lied the entire time. He had found someone else that made him happy. That was the last guy I dated. I thought at this point I was never going to trust someone again. It's been two years and I'm now at the age where I finally want to settle down, get married, have a house, and just live happily ever after. However I don't think it's going to happen. I don't think I could ever trust someone else. There is a lot I want for my life and it seemed that this was a part that may never change.

I snap out of my thoughts by the sounds of car horns. A long white stretch escalade limo with the words "Just Married" on the back window was in front of us. This really was Vegas. I find it surprising that people actually get married here. Not just go down to the chapel in our jeans at 4am, drunk, and get married. They really do plan weddings here.

We walk into the chapel and there is Mya standing in her white gown, it was floor length, strapless, covered in lace and beading. It was beautiful to say the least. She had her bouquet in hand, different shades of red and pink roses. She has her something barrowed, a necklace from her sister, who couldn't make it. Something  blue, her hair clips. Something old, a ring that is pinned inside her dress which belonged to her grandmother. Something new, her dress. I notice that Tyler is ready as well, in his classic black tuxedo. I can't believe they are really going to do this. I guess whatever makes them happy.

 I knew Mya in high school. We were close for many years. Then she went off to the army I seen her maybe once a year, she decided to come home last year. My friends have really accepted her in to our little gang. I have only known Tyler since he has been with Mya, four months I guess. Tyler grew up in Texas, moving to Pittsburgh a couple years ago to work for the Pittsburgh Steelers athletic department. He hopes one day to become athletic director. I was with Mya the night that she met Tyler. We were at a bar in Pittsburgh following a football game that we attended. It was the first game I had actually ever gone to. I knew when she met him that there was an instant attraction; however I never imagined being at the wedding in four months. They just met. I still wasn't convinced they should get married but that's my own craziness on relationships.

Mya's older brother and one of her younger sisters were already sitting in the chapel with Mya's mother and step-father. Tyler's parents had both died years ago in a car accident; he was raised by his grandmother who died last year. His older brother and younger sister were sitting next to Mya's family.

The ceremony was beautiful, full of tears on their part. Maybe this will last.

During dinner we were still throwing out ideas of where to go. Once again, California was brought up. I was going to suggest that we go to California, but then the perfect idea popped into my head. I blurted "Cancun." Everyone looked blank and without hesitation they all agreed.

Kia loved the idea. "That's perfect. We have all wanted to go for years. This is our chance."

Stacy was mumbling something to Mike then finally said "How much is this going to cost us?"

Steve chimed in "They refunded our entire trip package money. How much could it cost to get a condo or something like that for five days? We could all crash in one condo. We have done it before."

"It's perfect. I will go find out if this is really an option for us." I was excited.

I went to the laptop and luckily there was a flight going out in the morning. I yelled into the other room, "Do you think 10:35am is too early in the morning to fly out? Do you think our drunken asses will be up for that flight?"

Mike who is the quiet one chimes in, "You bet your drunken asses we will be up for that flight, were going to fucking Mexico."

I informed them that a three bedroom condo is just about the price we were going to pay to stay here in Vegas. We booked the flight and the condo. I thought to myself. We were really going to Cancun. Now this is a great vacation.

After the dinner we are hitting the Vegas strip, instead of having a small reception they had decided we would go to a bar. Tyler had arranged for us to go to Pure, one of the hottest nightclubs in Las Vegas. The crowd there was already in the mood to party! We rolled into the club in our wedding attire and were ready for some drinks. There were celebrities everywhere you turned. We found out that there was an award show earlier in the day and that this was where one of the after parties was. I am not quite sure how we got in tonight but I'm glad we did. We head to the bar and the night has begun. No one is paying for anything. The tab is on them tonight. Steve, Kia, and I all at the same time said, "Fuck yes!"

The after party was being thrown by none other than Justin Timberlake. However I don't think I saw him there at all. I was the biggest fan of Justin Timberlake and ‘NSync for that matter. I grew up kind of obsessed. I wasn't a crazy stalker, but I watched everything they were on, bought everything under the sun, and went to the concerts. I actually took Mya to her first concert, which was Justin Timberlake. I was excited; maybe I would get to meet him. I wasn't that crazed fan anymore. I still enjoyed his music and concerts but I had grown up in the last ten or fifteen years. I respected the artist that he was. He must have had some V.I.P room or just not there because I never saw him. I was really drunk most of the night so I may have seen him and it not known it. The night is kind of a blur.

Back at the suite, we decide that we need to be in the pool. It overlooked the entire city. Even as drunk as I was, I would never forget that view. I stood near the edge of the balcony simply taking in the view. The last time I looked at the clock it said 4:44am. There was really no point in going to bed at all. We had to be up and packed for the airport in a couple hours.

Packing up a suitcase is very hard to do still drunk. Luckily I didn't have my suitcase long enough to take much out of it. Our flight was on time, the sun was shining, the day was looking better. I called my mother from the airport this time. I actually remembered to call her. I had to leave her a message. "Hi mom, I'm at the airport. Our flight leaves in about twenty minutes. We decided to go to Cancun, were not staying in Las Vegas. After all the trouble it was here, we want to start our vacation over again. I will call you when we land. I don't know how my reception will be there; it should be fine you just never know. Love ya!"

At breakfast I felt pretty bad, I had drunk way too much last night. However I wasn't Stacy who is running to the bathroom every five minutes. I had a slight headache from not sleeping but nowhere near what she was feeling. We all looked like we had a very rough night.

Finally our flight is boarding. Our seats are split up. There were four seats together and one separate towards the front. Mike said he would take it because he was going to sleep anyways and I said no that it's ok, I would sit by myself. I knew Stacy, she would never agree to that. I would probably sleep anyways. I would be the singled out one again. We all get on the plane and settle into our seats. I pull out my camera from last night. I haven't looked at any of the pictures yet. There are pictures from the entire day on there. I figure this will occupy my time for a while. The first images are from the wedding, dinner, the bride and groom and then the bar. They start off really great. I was intoxicated at this point but I wasn't falling all over the place kind of drunk. There were pictures of me with about thirty celebrities. Now that I see the pictures I remembered meeting all of them. There are pictures of Kia and me in front of the red carpet sign that said "The After Party - Justin Timberlake'. At the moment I get to the ‘After Party' pictures I realize that there is someone now sitting next to me. I look over, smile and glance back down at my camera. Feeling like I had seen someone I knew I look back up. He says, "Hi, I'm Justin how are you this morning?"

Thud. I felt my heart hit the floor, I was sure of it. Picking up my chin and my heart, I look over again I know I saw who I think I saw.

Again he says, "Hi, I'm Justin, how are you?"

"I'm Melissa, It's really nice to meet you and sorry I'm actually not doing so well this morning."

"What could possibly be wrong with someone as beautiful as you?"

"Well"... if that wasn't a line I had heard before... "Let's just say, I was at a party last night, drank until nearly five this morning and now I'm on a plane." I pause and turn towards him with the confused look on my face "I was... actually at your party last night."

 "Really?" he says, "And how do I know you? Are you sure it was my party? I'm sure I would remember a face like yours there."

 "Calm down killer. I'm not real sure how I ended up at your party, well I know how but I don't know how we got into your party." I began to ramble. "I came out to Vegas for a friend's wedding. We ended up going to a bar instead of having a reception. The groom arranged for us to go to Pure. We found out later that it was an after party for the award show. How come if it was your party, I didn't see you there?"

"I was there most of the night. My security won't let me do much anymore. There have been some recent events that have led me to being on strict lockdown but I had a private room and I pretty much stayed in there the entire night. If I wouldn't have stayed in that room I would have to deal with them following me around all night. I honestly think a big security guy stands out more than I ever would." He laughs. "I try to make it easy and comply with what they need to do."

 "Are you headed to Cancun on vacation as well?"

"Yes, well I am going to film what's left a music video then the rest of the time here I am on vacation. A well deserved vacation.

"Music, finally there is new music. It's been a long time."

"It has. I feel bad for my fans; they always stand by me, even though I take way too much time off between records."

"Sometimes you need inspiration. Inspiration doesn't come without pain and changes..."

            He gets quiet as if he doesn't want to touch on that. I respect his wishes and slump into my seat. I assumed that he was done talking.

"How was your trip to Las Vegas? Was it everything that Vegas is supposed to be?"

I guess he wasn't finished talking. " Well it's been a hell trip to Vegas, long story short, our plane had mechanical issues,  we sat in Arizona for a couple hours, changed planes, they lost my luggage, our hotel reservations were lost, and I spent nearly $400 on a dress and shoes for a wedding that lasted ten minutes. So let's just say I'm glad we decided to leave Vegas." I didn't think I babbled as much in my entire life. "Cancun was a decision made at dinner last night. I'm beyond excited to leave Vegas." I really need to think about not rambling so much. I sound like a fool.

 "Wow, I guess it's a good thing I had your bar tab last night" He joked. "I'll send you a bill."

"I will give you an address." I said jokingly.

 "Where are you from?"

"Ohio. Born and raised, actually about an hour north of Pittsburgh, PA. I know you have been there before. I am one of those people that always say they are going to get out of that town, but here I am 26 years old and I'm still there." I laugh. "Sometimes you just get stuck; I wish I could get unstuck." I laugh at myself knowing that didn't really make any sense.

"I have been to Pittsburgh a dozen or so times. The crowd I have always gotten there have been fantastic. I remember the Pittsburgh shows being very loud."

"Yea, that was my big mouth." I turn red thinking I shouldn't have said that. I was making myself look stupid. I needed to just calm down and talk to him.

He was full of questions, "So, do you have proof you were at my party. I want pictures."

 I pulled out my camera and said, "Actually there is like a hundred pictures from last night on my camera, we are not camera shy at all. There's pictures of me with maybe every celebrity that was at your party except you. I even have a picture with Trace. Which I'm surprised he isn't with you now."

 "He has a girlfriend. When he has someone new he is so wrapped up in them he forgets I exist. However Trace gets sidetracked very easily. He goes through woman very quickly. It usually only happens for a couple weeks. This time next week he will be back to normal." He starts going through the pictures, "Damn girl you did get around that party. I wish I would have seen you."

My phone is vibrating. Who could be calling me? Kia sent me a text message.

‘You are being too friendly with the person sitting next to you. Don't trust anyone.'

I sent a reply back, ‘Justin Timberlake is sitting next to me!!'

"Who?"

"You know.... ‘I'M BRINGING SEXY BACK'."

"Shut the fuck up."

"Seriously."

‘Seriously???'

 I replied with a happy face. Then I turned around and she is trying to jump out of her seat to make sure I wasn't lying. She wouldn't know who Justin was by seeing him, she only knew a couple of songs because I had forced her to listen to them over the years. She looks more shocked than I was. I sent her a message ‘Don't make a scene, they will make him move.' She seems happier about him sitting next to me than I am.

Justin turns to see what is going on. He sees my idiotic friends making a fool out of themselves trying to see what I was doing.  I explain to him that my friends are sitting way in the back and she was just checking on me. Making sure that the crazy person sitting next to me that won't stop talking to me isn't going to kidnap me. He takes my phone and sends a message. ‘This is J. I have her under control, don't worry. I may return her, if you're lucky.'

Sitting comfortably back in my seat, I really want to sleep. I still had the headache that seemed to be getting worse. He takes my camera which was laying on my lap and starts taking random pictures of the seats, flight attendants, people sleeping, me, and himself. "Come here; let's get a picture of us, since you took one with everyone else last night." After like ten pictures we finally got one that he likes. I say, "I look like shit, I have had three hours of sleep and I'm on a plane but it will have to do."

Even though I wasn't a high maintenance person, I never left the house with my hair and makeup not done. I had last night's hair and makeup. My hair that was slightly straight with waves from the hot rollers. I had planned on throwing it up in a ponytail but I had forgotten. I really wish I would have now.

Through the whole flight we make jokes and laugh. It was like it was just a human being; he wasn't the ‘Justin Timberlake' with the celebrity ego or anything. He was sweet and genuine.  I was happy to have met him and had this time with him. Then he did something I wasn't expecting.

"I would like to get your phone number and take you to dinner."

Surprised by request I didn't even hesitate I just gave it to him. As we are walking off the plane he calls my phone, "I wanted to make sure you gave me the right number. As soon as I get in town I have to be at the video shoot, but I will call you. I promise we will get together. I had a great time talking to you."

Smitten me says, "I had a great time talking to you as well. If you don't call, I will understand you're busy. It was nice talking with you."

"I will call you. I promise."

I have heard guys say that before. So I wouldn't be disappointed if he didn't call. After all I did get to spend the last hour talking to Justin Timberlake. I could live with that.

Kia and Stacy nearly knock me down trying to get to me fast enough, "That was seriously Justin Timberlake, and he was freaking macking on you hard core."

Stacy chimes in, "He is freaking hot, is he staying in town?"

"Yes, he is going to be here the entire time we are in town. He said he wants to have dinner with me." I turn a shade of pink.

Steve says, "He wants to do more than have dinner with you. He was a piece of my sugar." I turn red now.  Steve is like my older brother. He is always trying to protect me. I love him dearly for that, and yet it's another reason he never knows when I'm talking to a new guy. He will chase them away before I can decide if I like them or not. I respected him for trying to protect me.

I had to change the subject very quickly. "Let's go see if my luggage made the trip." I said thinking if my luggage seriously isn't here I'm going to scream. Everything made it this time. Everything about Cancun was starting off perfect.

We get to the condo and it's right on the beach. It was beautiful scenery all around us. Steve, Kia, and I opted to shower and head straight to the beach. I figured I would put on sunscreen and take a nap there. Mike and Stacy stay in the room because it's too hot and they won't be able to take a good nap out there. We were on vacation, in Mexico, why would you want to stay in the room? We head down to the beach. Being here was paradise.

I slept for nearly an hour. Then I was up and ready to go. I couldn't sleep away vacation. I headed to get us some drinks and I hear someone behind say, "What are you following me now? Do I have to get my bodyguard to take you down?" I turn and realized its Justin. I smile and say "Actually yes, I couldn't stand to be without you for more than an hour. I was going through withdraws. I had to track you down." He thought it was funny. Then I said "That is our condo right behind you. So technically, I think you are following me."

He informed me that this was the location for his video shoot. How ironic. He asked if I wanted to join him on the set. I went, come on now it's Justin Timberlake, and I get to hear the new track. I was going. Being on set was the coolest thing I have ever seen. It's great to see everything come together. To see how much work and detail goes into a very short four minute video.

Once the video was done I told him I had to get back to my friends. I wanted to shower and get ready for dinner then I thought we were going to attempt a bar tonight. He said to let him know what we decided to do. I still hadn't figured out why he would want to hang out with us, maybe he wanted a level of normalcy for a couple days.

The restaurant that was just down the street from our condo. We were trying to stay in walking distance so we wouldn't have to find a cab and find our way back. There was a bar inside, so I text Justin and told him where we were. It was a new restaurant, it had only been open nearly six months, but was drawing in big crowds. I never expected him to actually show up.  However Justin arrived about an hour and a half later. I had already had a few drinks. Ok, I lied. I may have had six by the time he got there.

There was karaoke going on. My friends and I are suckers for karaoke. The DJ was asking people to sing different things. Mike got called up and sang "Pour Some Sugar on me." It's funny because we were not choosing these songs. The DJ was picking them for you. Steve has called me ‘Sugar' for years, it was a joke that he started while on vacation about six or seven years ago. The Dj said, "Ok now, I need someone to sing a country song, an older country song, come on, someone can do it. So I agreed to do it. The Dj chose, ‘Please Come to Boston" the version by Reba McEntire. I have always loved that song however this wasn't originally a country song, it was a pop song by Dave Loggins. It is a song that can make you cry or make you happy at the same time. Everyone can relate in one way or another. I thought I was Reba McEntire attempting to belt out that song. I was singing the line, ‘I'm the number one fan of the man from Tennessee' as he walked into the bar area. He was wearing an almost sheer William Rast tee and khaki shorts. He was even hotter than I ever thought before... it's an instant turn on for me when a guy dresses sexy without even trying. He was way too hot for me. He was so out of my league. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Everyone turned their head to see him. He was after all, Justin Timberlake.

 I came off stage and he hugged me and said, "You didn't tell me you could sing"

"I can't, I just pretend that I can." I threw him a flirty little smile with a wink.

I woke up thinking I didn't know where I was. The memories were starting to flutter back. The rush of being pushed against the wall. I'm pretty sure I don't have any clothes on.  The frenzy of removing the clothing. I was not alone in the bed. His lips on mine, his hands all over my body. His arm wrapped around me. The feeling of being on top of the world in his arms. I slowly move thinking what have I done, I really screwed things up with him now. To my surprise, it was him lying next to me. I remember everything, the touch, the feelings, the emotions, and the ecstasy. I have a sudden release of worry. He rolls over and wraps he arms tighter around me. I fall back asleep in his arms.

"Good Morning, beautiful, how do you feel?" he asked.

"I feel great. I think I drank a little last night.  At first I wasn't sure where I was, who you were, or why I didn't have any clothing on. However I figured that all out pretty quickly. Seeing that our clothes are thrown everywhere. My first thought that they were removed in a very quick movement and you took advantage of me... or I took advantage of you. I don't know which it is right now." I laugh. "So how are you doing this morning, Justin?"

"I thought I was going to feel like shit, however waking up next to you has its perks. I only wish that we could continue what we were doing last night. Maybe let me take advantage of you this time."

"So I take it I took advantage of you last night?"

"Something like that."

I look at him, into those deep blue eyes, I cave in. It didn't take much to convince me. The tenderness of his hands caressing my face, then down my entire body was enough to just let it all happen again. Never in my life have I felt this level of satisfaction. You always think you have good sex, until you find someone better. It felt like more than just sex with him, it felt like a little more. I don't have one night stands, that's not who I was. I didn't like spending the night with someone I had just met.

"What do you want for breakfast?"

"It doesn't matter, if you have food here I can make you some breakfast, I don't mind cooking." I actually enjoyed cooking.

"We can either go get food to make, or we can call for room service. It doesn't matter. I don't normally keep food in the hotel." he laughs joking. I laugh because it's different for him. He can just drop hundreds of dollars a day on food and it won't make any difference to him.

We decided to make breakfast for everyone. I called and told Stacy to get everyone's butt up; I was making breakfast to be here in an hour.

As we drove to the store, he is holding my hand, watching me, like we were teenagers or something. I tell him, "I don't hook up with someone and spend the night; you have got to feel special right about now." He laughs thinking I must be joking. "You know, the first six months with my ex I would not stay the night. That was a sign of weakness to me, my how things have changed." He smiled and said, "I guess I must be special."

A simple task to get breakfast was an adventure to say the least. Finding everything we wanted was a challenge. I think we bought every breakfast food there was in the store. I guess I never noticed there were people following us until he got a little moody. "Who really wants a picture of me buying milk, eggs, and bacon? Seriously there is nothing entertaining about me buying food." He had a little attitude now. "Unless I was going into a sex toy store and buying strap-on and demonstrating it... it's not entertaining at all."

"If you are in need of a strap-on, I think we are in trouble. I need a penis not some plastic thing." I had to lighten the moment because he was getting a little frustrated.

Then he thought for a minute. He leaned into me and whispered "I'm so sorry... These pictures are going to be everywhere. There is a new girl on Justin's arm. I didn't even think about it. How stupid of me. As long as I have been in the industry, you would think that I would remember shit like this."

He continues to apologize; I interrupt him "Justin, its fine, I should have remembered as well. It's really okay. Don't stress over it. It's not worth it. It will be ok."

 "It actually is worth it. I don't want to hurt you." We gather our stuff and get out of there. As soon as we get out of the store the flashes are almost unbearable, it was non-stop. People are yelling, who is the new it girl? Who is the new flavor of the week? I chuckled; help load the grocery's and got in the car.

On the ride back to the hotel he got a call from his PR firm. He needed to know what to say about this new girlfriend. What did he want the press to know? "How do you know about this already? I literally just walked out of the store with her." Justin kept shaking his head. He didn't want to have to deal with this.

"Well Justin, there were pictures of you in the airport with her, pictures at the beach, in the bar, on the boardwalk, there are pictures of a lot of things going on in Mexico." "Shit" he says. "I don't care what you say. I really don't."

We returned to the hotel and he still seemed to be still upset by those photographers following us.  I asked if he was ok and he said yes but he just didn't seem like he was ok. I was sitting on the counter in the kitchen area. I pulled him close to me and said, "I'm not worried about all of this. Please don't worry about it. I want to eat breakfast, lie on the beach and have a great time with you. Please stop worrying about this. I had an issue with it, do you really think I would have went with you. I know we just met but I'm not stupid. I should have thought about it as well. It's not your fault." He said, "I'm sorry, I am just ... Every time I meet someone I am interested in getting to know they ruin it for me. The person never gets to know me before they know what they have to endure. I really like you. I know it's only been a day, but as much as someone could like someone in a day, I do. I know I'm rambling now but I just want a chance to really get to know you." He rambles just like I do. "I want to maybe see if this could go somewhere."

I was stunned. The scared part of me wanted to run. Run as fast as I possibly could out of that hotel and jump on a plane and fly back to Ohio. What do I say to that? How do I respond? What do I really want out of this? I wasn't sure. I looked at him and said "I am not going to lie to you. I want to see where this is going, but I am a very stubborn person. I am closed off to nearly everyone. You have come a very long way in just one day. If anything is going to scare me off it will be my own insecurities with relationships. It will have nothing to do with you or your career. If I have an issue with something I will tell you." He looks somewhat relieved and understands. We have both been hurt in previous relationships. We know how far to let ourselves go before pulling the cord back.

 The gang arrived just when I thought they would, twenty minutes late. I know my friends very well. I am the only person usually on time. They all compliment how good everything smells. There was fresh fruit for everyone to enjoy while everything else was set up. We sit down and Stacy asks, "So, what's the plan for the day?" I wanted a simple beach day. Spend the day lying on the beach, playing volleyball, walking on the beach then tomorrow maybe doing parasailing or going out on a boat or something. They all thought that would be a great idea, a day to relax and enjoy the weather. Justin said he would arrange to get us a boat to take out tomorrow.

After breakfast I went to the condo to shower and get ready for the beach. They were all kind of weird with me, like they wanted to ask questions but didn't want to prey. I wasn't going to divulge too many details but I would at least listen to them. I turned and said, "What do you want to know?" The first question I knew was coming. Kia says, "Did you sleep with him?"

 "How did I know that would be your first and only question? Since when do I ever tell you about my sex life? I'm not going to answer that question." I immediately turned red and walked away. I never tell them when I sleep with someone, but they already knew.

Steve chimes in, "That's a yes. I figured he would get what he wanted. He better not hurt you. I will hurt him..."

"Calm down Steven." I interrupted him "It's not like I'm in love with him. It will be fine." 

They boys leave the room and Stacy asks "How was the sex?" I shake my head, "I am not giving you any details." Kia has this worried look on her face, "So where is this going? You're not the type of girl that just hooks up with someone. He lives in L.A., you live in Ohio. Not to mention the fact that he is fucking Justin Timberlake. I'm worried for you Mel."

 "I don't know how to explain it. I normally would have walked away from the situation and not thought twice about it. I don't want to be the me that people know me for. I don't want to duck in run when someone wants to have a relationship with me. I am done with that part of my life. If this goes wrong, it goes wrong. I can't compare every guy and every relationship to him, and the choices he made. I deserve to be happy. I do need your support, because if this does go wrong I'm sure I will fall apart. I will need you guys." I paused "It's not because its ‘Justin Timberlake', it's because it's Justin. It's the southern boy from California that has made me very smitten and is interested in the person I am. I don't even know if he wants anything. This could be just a Cancun fling, who knows..." They both hug me at the same time and say that it's a choice I have to make and if this is the choice, they will deal with it. He's a great guy, he is super nice, and wants to just hang with you and your friends, that s a great sign.

Finally after I had been grilled, we headed for the beach. Justin was already there by the time we go down to the beach. He had a section set up for us, I swear sometimes like he hires people to do things and then shows up. I wanted to relax in the sun before doing anything else. I'm a sucker for a tan. He walks over to me lifts me off the ground and swings me around, kisses me. I am looking down at him when he asks, "Would you like to go to dinner with me tonight, just the two of us?"

"Yes, I would like that very much." I replied. "Is this a casual dinner, a semi-casual, or a dress up kind of date? This is a date right?"

He chuckled. "I always dress to impress! And yes this is a date, our first date. I have something special planned."

 "Should I be scared?"

"Maybe, a little."

The entire time we were lying on the beach and playing volleyball there was photographers there. It started as two guys, and then it was four then ten. I don't know what is so interesting about a day at the beach to take pictures of however they never went away. The scene got so crazy that the security ask Justin to leave. He hates that he can't do simple things like this. I wonder what dinner is going to be like.

First dates never seem to go as planned for me. This one however is starting very well. The girls help me get ready. Kia put hot rollers in my hair and Stacy did my makeup a golden smoky eye. I insisted that I would do my simple hair and makeup but they insisted stronger of doing it. Instead of making an issue out of it, I let them do it.

I could feel the nervous butterflies in my stomach, it felt like I was going to hurl. Finally I got the call that the car was downstairs for me. They were all going to dinner without me. I felt bad, this was a vacation for us, and I have totally ditched them. I have to make sure there are more group efforts tomorrow. Tonight, tonight was all about me and Justin. I got into the car, my nervousness was gone. I was excited to see him, I spent the whole day at the beach with him but I wanted to see him so bad. It was as if I haven't seen him in months.

I stepped out of the car. I had that little yellow dress on with the purple heels, a simple bangle and earrings. My dark chocolate brown hair had loose curls. I felt sexy and ready to begin the night with him.

I was informed to take the elevator to the fifth floor and take a right. I thought we were going to dinner. Maybe he had to change hotels, due to security issues, I didn't know. I got off the elevator on the floor and as I turned right I see the hallway is fairly dark only lit by candles. The smell of lavender candles and lilacs everywhere filled the hallway. I opened the door to the only room on the floor. He was standing the second doorway, dressed in black slacks, white dress shirt, yellow tie, and a black suit jacket. I look around the room is much like the hallway. There are rose pedals and candles around the entire room. It took my breath away. I walk up to him and he says, "You look absolutely gorgeous. How funny we both wore yellow. It must be a sign."

I said thanks, and then I said "You look gorgeous as well; a well dressed man is a complete turn on."

Smiling from ear to ear he says. "Now we have to at least eat dinner first, I worked all afternoon on the room and the meal. Let me show you what I can do, without hired help."

"You made dinner? Without anyone's help?"

 "Yes, miss I can cook anything. Please, sit. I have to serve your dinner."

 I felt like a perfect. He made steak, which is my favorite. He remembered, along with the lilacs that are my favorite scent. I found a guy that listens and remembers things. I must be dreaming. We had salad then Steak and a baked potato. Only with me would it be perfect. I was on cloud nine.

"Is this okay?"

"It's perfect. I'm a steak kind of girl."

"I have planned for us to take a walk on the beach; I loved night time on the beach."

I interrupted him and said at the same time "Hearing the wave's crash at night is the best part."

He wasn't too sure how it was going to work out being on the beach but we were going to try it. We got to the hotel lobby and there was no one around. We thought we were good but the moment we stepped out of the doors we realized that it wasn't so easy to walk alone. Lonnie his security guard ended up going with us. However he stayed back pretty far. He knows how to respect Justin's wishes. He actually asked the photographers if they would respect Justin and his date and stay back. They listened, however it didn't stop them from taking pictures. We talked about everything, past relationships, things we liked to do, what we saw ourselves in five years. Lonnie had taken a picture of us on the beach with the moon behind us. It was a gorgeous picture. Priceless that's for sure.

We finally decided to go back to the room. He had something else planned for us before the night ended. We got back to the room and he had the hot tub full of HOT water, more candles, and roses. He really went overboard for this date. I wasn't complaining it was all so sweet, I loved all the details.

 "I don't have a suit."

"You don't need one?" he responded.

"Oh, really?" I smiled and then he handed me a little bag. There was a brand new swimsuit inside of the bag. He shot me that smile and said, "I thought of everything. I didn't want to tell you to bring one then you would have known."

We got in, the water was very warm. I'm sitting across from him, only so I could see his face. I ask, "Why has it taken you so long to make another album?"

"I have been working with many different artists since I recorded Future Sex/Love Sounds, I was in a relationship that wasn't to healthy for a very long time. In a sense I was sidetracked from what I really enjoyed in my life. So for the last year, I have been single and writing this new album. I am very proud of it and I'm ready to share it with everyone. I'm more excited to tour with this album. There is a lot of rock in this album so it will be fun to do live."

 "When does the tour start?"

 "They will announce the tour dates in a couple weeks, but it looks like it will kick off in three months. Around the same time the album releases."

"Seems like your plate is full, Mr. Timberlake."

 "I know it seems like bad timing but honestly a tour puts me back into reality. I love to tour."

He seemed to want to get off that topic; he asked me "What do you want to do, if you want to live in Ohio? What do you have planned for your future?"

 "I never plan anything too far in advance because you never know what could come along and change your path." I continued, "But I have always wanted a career in fashion. Designing clothing would be my dream, that can't happen from where I live now. I also dreamed of singing, but fashion was more of a reality than a career in music."

"Why can't you have both? Being in the music industry can open up so many doors for you. I think you could be very successful in this industry. I would love to work with you and record some demos and get you your own sound. I would love to do that for you."

I was flabbergasted everything I have ever wanted lied right there. I suddenly felt bad. "I don't want you to think I am telling you this because I know you can help me. I don't want to you to think I would ever use you to get this career. I would never do that."

He responded very quickly with "I never for a moment would think that you were able to use anyone. I know you were just stating things you wanted for your life. I would want to help you. I would want to make sure it was done the right way."

I glided across the hot tub and climbed on top of him.  Kissing him, rubbing my hands through his curls, and caressing his beautiful face. I couldn't wait any longer, I had to have him. I felt him get aroused; I knew it was only moments now. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and began to kiss him more. Suddenly I am being taken out of the hot tub; we couldn't even wait to get to the bedroom. I feel him press inside me. Slow at first, then a rapid movement that keeps a slow moan escaping from my throat. It feels as if he knows my body so well. I feel my legs loosing grip around him, they are trembling. I know it's about the point for me to finish. I ask, "How.. close... are you?" In some form of the words he said, ‘Almost..... there.' Moments later I felt him explode. ‘Wow... " he said. "I don't think I will ever get used to that. I have been having sex many years and it's never been like this."

We fall asleep in each other's arms and it feels wonderful. We are woken up by a phone ringing over and over again. Its Justin's phone and whoever it is won't give up. He gets up and answers it. "Hello" in that sleepy, you just woke me up voice.

All of a sudden I hear a male voice yelling , "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? You are supposed to be at an interview fifteen minutes ago. I have called you for the last twenty minutes. I have these interviews set up for you. All these people are here for you..."

Justin finally realizes what he is talking about, "I told you I was in Mexico until Sunday. I was not leaving and that I wanted a small vacation before the craziness of promoting starts, you chose to ignore everything I said. I was already here, I wasn't leaving." I realize who it is now. It's his PR person in Los Angeles. He interrupts Justin, "I don't understand what you are still there. Is it because of this woman you met, this new fling, this person that is going to sell you out to the press the moment she sets her feet back on home soil. You really surprised me Justin; I didn't think you would flake out and choose yet another woman over your career."

"I am not going to discuss this with you right now. It's a waste of my time to argue with you. I will call you when I get back in town on Sunday. Call my assistant, get the schedule from her and reschedule all the interviews. But remember I'm leaving for New York City Wednesday." He hung up the phone. I got up in the middle of the conversation and went to the bathroom. I am standing in front of the mirror, thinking to myself. Am I destroying his career? Maybe I should just walk away, that would be the best thing for him.

He came into the bathroom, asked if everything was ok. He could see the worry in my eyes. "I don't want to ruin your career. I would never want to be the woman that made the one thing you love the most in the world fade away. If I am holding you back from anything, please... please don't. I want to see your career farther than it already has..." he interrupts me, "I am here because I want to be here. I want to be here. I will never let a relationship and my career interfere with one another again. I have to have someone that understands that my career is very demanding and that it has nothing to do with our relationship. If I'm with someone it's because I want to be with them. Not to just be in a relationship." He paused then continued, "I want this, and I want you. You are not making me miss anything that was scheduled. He did this. He made the choice to schedule things, knowing I was already in Mexico and not returning until Sunday. Don't worry about this. It has nothing to do with you. This is his mess to clean up."

That day we went straight to the boat. Breakfast, lunch & dinner were being served on the boat. I was excited to scuba dive, parasail, and lay out. Simply spend some time with everyone. The day seemed to be like a blur as were the next couple days. Before I knew it I was on my way to the airport. Justin's flight was leaving a little more than an hour before ours. I felt like we were parting ways, and it was the end of something. We were going back to our separate lives, three thousand miles apart. I couldn't look him straight in the eyes. I knew that this could be it. He lifts my head. Kisses me and says, "This isn't it. I promise you we will make this work somehow. You will come see me in New York this weekend. I will come visit you, you will visit L.A., and this will work. If we want it to, it will. Maybe we will even record that track... hmm.  There will be a ticket waiting for you at the airport." I smile and say yes to everything. I want to believe this isn't the end, I really do.

I sit in that empty airport bay waiting for everyone else to join me. How could I have let myself fall for someone? Fall for someone that lives across the country? How stupid of me. How could have I have fallen for someone this quick? I felt both empty and full of life at the same time. Tears start to stream down my face. I wasn't sure why I was crying. I knew exactly what I was doing the entire time. I knew not to fall for him.

I hear Kia's voice coming up behind me "There you are. I thought you were going to meet us at our gate? We have to go, the flight is boarding." She gets in front of me and see's that I am sitting there because I can't imagine standing on my own two feet at this moment. "Mel, honey what's wrong?"

"I just let the first person I have had real feelings for in god only knows how long walk away from me.... I let him get on the plane."

She grabbed my hand and said, "You have met the person that may very well be the person you spend the rest of your life with. However you are more responsible than to just up and leave your responsibilities. This is not how you would want to handle it. You know this isn't you. Do I think that this trip has changed everything about your life? Yes, everything is going to be different now. We go home, you make sure this is what you want, make sure that this is a choice that is made on thought and logic. Then if you decide that you want to move to L.A to be near him, well then I guess I will help pack you up and road trip it across the United States to get you there. You need to do what makes you happy at the end of the day. I support whatever decision you make. I love you. Now get your booty up and let's get on that plane and go home. Start the rest of our lives."

Kia's little pep talk really seemed to hit home. There was so much that I had to think through and decide what I wanted to do. The flight home was long. It felt like it took an entire day to get there. Once the flight landed I was comforted by a voicemail. Justin had called at some point during the flight, "I miss you already. It's like this trip was a dream. I hope I don't wake up from it. I will be in NYC this weekend. I really want to see you, so I hope you can come. Anyways I wanted to tell you good night and talk to you soon."

I called him back once I got home. I wanted to hear his voice again. Once again he asked about New York, he was making it a point he wanted me there. I told him I would be there.

I had to work in the morning, I was tired, I didn't even unpack, just went to bed. I guess it really was back to reality. Back to what my life was like.

About a mile from work I realize that there is a car that has been following me from my house behind me. I thought it was odd but I didn't know if someone I work with lived near me. I never paid that much attention. I ignored it and through the parking lot. A guy dressed in jeans and a Rolling Stones t-shirt asks ‘How are you feeling today Melissa after your long getaway with Justin? How long have you been dating? How did he find you in this small town?' I just chuckled and kept walking. I went straight into the building and to my desk. I couldn't for the life of me think of a reason that this guy would be following me. I understood the Justin part, but me, I was nobody important.

I see this guy is now sitting outside my office window. Taking pictures of me at my desk. Why did they come all the way here just to take pictures of me? I was nobody to the world. I dealt with it for a while, but this guy had camped himself outside my window. Three hours had gone by and he was still there. Eventually I go to my human resources department and explain to my boss what's going on and now this guy won't leave. She went out there made him leave, he was on private property and he had no right to be here.

I send a text to Justin. ‘There is a psycho paparazzi that is here in town, followed me to work today. lol' He called me an hour later while I was at lunch. He couldn't believe that they actually went this far this time. He started saying he was going to send some security to be with my at all times. I demanded that he not do that. I was not going to have someone with me at all times. That would be crazier than this one guy following me.

It was a very long couple days at work, everyone stared and whispered. Some things they were saying really hurt me. I couldn't take it anymore. I have worked with most of these people for nearly six years. They all knew me. I hadn't change in the mere week I was on vacation. I couldn't understand why they thought I had become this different person.

It was finally Thursday and it was the day before I was going to meet Justin in NYC. I was checking some emails and things online then packing to leave tomorrow afternoon. I received an email from Kia with the subject that says, ‘Just A Warning... in case you have seen this yet' I was a little worried to open it. There were links to over fifty websites that had pictures of Justin and me from vacation. There were photos of me this week going to work, eating lunch, having dinner with friends, driving home from work, even pictures of me walking into my house. Going on those sites were a bad idea. There were some comments and stories that were really farfetched. The headlines basically said the same thing, ‘Justin has found his new flavor of the month, how long will this one last?' So because I thought it was all funny I called Justin, I had to leave him a voicemail. "Hey, it's just me, I guess maybe I was just the flavor of the week, I didn't even get a whole month. Call me back!" He calls me back almost immediately.

"Sorry I missed your call. I am thinking about making you the flavor of the year. Wonder if you can handle that?"

"I don't know if would want to put up with your ass for more than a week." I am laughing my ass off and it wasn't even really funny. I had had a long rough week. "So how were today's interviews?"

"I am so tired of interviews; I probably did twenty five this morning alone. I guess my PR was paying me back for not doing exactly what they wanted me to do. I bet you can't guess what the most asked question was?"

"Why did you wait so long to record an album?"

He laughed and said, "They did ask that a lot however the most asked question was.... Drum roll.... How did you meet Melissa? How is the relationship going? How is the long distance working out? I hate that these people think that who I come home to at the end of a work day is any of their business..." he paused "I wish I came home to you today, I miss you."

I got quiet. "Melissa, are you there?"

"Yes, I'm here" I was quiet again.

 In his worried voice he asks, "What's wrong?"

 "I am not good at this. I'm not good at long distance relationships. I want to come home to you at the end of a work day. I want to cuddle on the couch and watch a movie. I want those normal relationship things. I know it's really soon and everything has happened so fast, I just can't shake the feeling that this isn't going to work because we are so far apart."

He assured me that we would do everything we can to make it work. "I know that we have only known each other two weeks and everything is moving fast but I feel like I have known for years. Believe me when I say this, I will do everything I can to be with you." I felt better just hearing him say that.

I went to bed early that night. I had a long day ahead of me. Work was rough again. I didn't know how long it was going to be before I blew up on the people saying things. Kia volunteered to drive me to the airport that evening. I was glad because I needed to talk to her a little before I ventured to NYC.

I was quiet most of the ride, and then I blurted out "Would you think I was completely crazy if I quit my job?"

Kia didn't look surprised at all "I think that you have been unhappy there for a very long time. This has been an issue way before Justin. So I think if something else comes up, don't hesitate."

I guess I didn't have to ask her about it anymore.  As I was boarding the plane she said one last thing. "Don't let your mind take over the relationship. Trust you heart." I was stunned she said that. I hugged her and got on the plane.

I arrived at JFK on time however I wasn't sure if I was supposed to get a cab or if there was a car waiting for me. At the moment I received a message. ‘Sorry I can't leave rehearsals, I am sending my mom to pick you up. She will be waiting outside of the gate for you.' I looked up and there she was. I thought to myself, crap. It's his mother.

She almost took me down to hug me. She was a total sweetheart. I wasn't worried about meeting her; it was just the fact that she was his mother. I didn't think I was ready to meet his parents. It didn't matter now. On the ride to the venue I asked her how much longer he is going to be there rehearsing and she said, "Knowing my son you will be here until the sun comes up."

"That's fine with me. I will enjoy seeing him in his element. I was thinking it would be funny to walk in and take over his rehearsal. Grab a microphone and just take over the vocals."

Her eyes lit up, "That's perfect, you have to do it. I will get it arranged." She sends a message to the music director and he agreed that it would great. They like to mess with him. He likes to have control in this environment. He has a bit of obsessive compulsive distorter, I couldn't say much I had a bit of OCD as well.

So we got to the venue and he was starting ‘Cry Me a River' it was like, perfect. Just as the 2nd chorus was about to start I grabbed the microphone and stepped out on the stage.

"You know... they say some things are better left unsaid."

 He stopped singing but continued playing as I continued singing, "It wasn't like you only talked to her and you know it" He smiled and I finished the song. It was so weird being up on his stage, even though it was just a tour rehearsal. As soon as the song was over he jumped up, grabbed me and swung me around. It was an amazing feeling being back into his arms. It felt like being home.

His manager asked if he would do one last interview before everyone left for the night. He agreed to do just one more today. I stayed on the stage listening to the guys play random things. I was singing along most of the songs they were playing. Kevin, Justin's music director, came up to me and said "I will play for you. What do you want to sing?"

I turned red and said "I really don't sing in front people. I get really nervous."

He smiled and said, "I have heard that so many times, usually those are the people that make the best artists. I heard you sing just now, I know you have the voice." He started playing an older song. I instantly knew what it was. The opening piano is very recognizable.

I just started singing with the music, "I've dealt with my ghosts and I have faced all my demons. Finally content with a past I regret. I found you find strength in your moments of weakness. For once I'm at peace with myself... I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long. Now I'm movin' on."

I continued to sing, I found it very easy to be up on that stage. Maybe because there was no one besides myself and Kevin in the room but it was easier than I ever thought it would be. I have sung a couple times in public other than a karaoke. I remember the first time my stomach turning and feeling like I was going to hurl at any moment. Once I was on the stage and singing with the band I felt comfortable.

This occasion was nothing, yet it was very different. These were professionals who have seen and heard the best there is in the business. When Justin finally returned he told everyone they could leave and have a good night.

He walks over to me and says, "What was that? I thought you said you couldn't sing. Those pipes sure know how to work." I blush. "We are recording a version of that song for you. I will get the rights to do and you're going to be amazed at what you can actually do."

We are sitting at the piano, he is playing this ballad that is absolutely beautiful, and it gave me chills. He started singing lyrics that I have never heard before. I assumed this one of the songs for his new album. He stops and says, "I have been trying to write a song to that melody for months. I wanted a song that could say so much about falling in love, about finding the happily ever after, all in under four minutes. I didn't have the inspiration before Cancun. I wrote nearly 80% of the song the night we met. I want you to help finish it. I want it to be a duet. I want you to be a part of the entire process. What do you think so far?"

 I'm shocked. "You want me on this song? You want me to record with you, as a duet?"

"Yes, do you hate it?"

"No, it gave me goose bumps the moment I heard it. The lyrics you have are beautiful so far. I want it; I want to do this with you."

"Great! I want to record it this weekend if we have time. I know you have to leave Sunday but maybe we could fit it in before you leave that day."

I lean down and whisper in his ear, "I'm not going home." He leans his head back to see my face. "What do you mean?" his smile widens "You're going to stay here with me?"

Now that I have his hopes up I have to crash them a little. "Well I have to go home just not Sunday. I don't have to fly out until Monday night. But at least now I know you really want me to stay."

He was disappointed, but I couldn't just up and quit my job, I couldn't do that. He goes back to the song. I like seeing him in his element. It's a side of him that only few people get to see.

He writes lyrics, beautiful lyrics. Hearing him say things like, "Even when you say nothing at all, you seem to say everything I need to hear." "I can see you in the white dress, the train full of lace, hair swept back, and you taking my last name." It melts my heart.

Everyone was gone by this point, we were the only two left. I am sitting on the edge of the piano with my legs wrapped around his back. I lean down and kiss him. He stands kicks the piano seat out of the way and is kissing me like he hasn't before. It was rough but still so sensual. He shuts the lid to the keys, slides me to the edge of the piano and is unbuttoning my jeans. My shirt is lying on the floor now. I kick off my shoes, and remove my jeans. I tare through his clothes faster than I can even remember. My panties are thrown to god knows where. I feel his lips press against mine again. He slowly moves down my entire body then he licks his way back up to the neck. The neck is the most sensitive spot on my body, and he knows this. I let out a slow moan of wanting more. I begin to kiss him more as he enters. Slow turns to fast, and then slow again, as if he was savoring every moment he could. Right there in Madison Square Garden, on that grand piano I had the best mind blowing sex of my life.

Waking up in Justin's arms, with the sun rising over that New York City skyline in the window was breathtaking. It was a scene I will never forget.  I get up and wrap a sheet around me and step out onto the balcony. As I am standing there I think of all the heartache and all the pain that I have gone through in just the last couple years. If this is why I had to go through that pain, it was worth every ounce of it. To feel this kind of love was beyond any of my wildest dreams.

I feel Justin wrap his arms around me and we stand there taking in this moment. He rests his chin on my shoulder, "I have never watched the sun come up with someone before. I lived in New York for nearly a year a couple years back and woke up every morning just to see this, I was alone every morning. I'm happy I get to share this with you." I turn and kiss him, "Now you have watched the sun rise with someone, you have kissed someone as the sun was rising in NYC, and now you are going to make love on a balcony in NYC as the sun comes up." He smiles as we have a replay of last night's events.

He asks what I want to do today. I smile really big and say, "We are in NYC, what else there to do? Can we go shopping, or at least window shopping?"

He chuckles and says, "Of course you would want to go shopping. Every female wants to go shopping. Why not, I could use some new clothes. Let me make a few calls and arrange for us to go. Since you're some big celebrity and the paparazzi won't leave you alone."

"Haha" I joke, "I am going to need to stop at the bank and get a loan before we go. Shopping with you in NYC is going to make me go flat broke."

"Don't even think you are spending a dime today or this weekend for that matter. Everything this weekend is on me." I interrupt him, "I don't want your money Justin. I want to be here with you, that's it. I will..." he interrupts me now, "I will win this argument, and let's not worry about it, just enjoy the day."

We start the day at William Rast. He seems to have a few connections there. We are in the storage area trying on clothes for the summer line that are being put out this week. I tried on nearly every piece of clothing, I had to see everything." I picked out a couple items and went to the next store. Christian Louboutin. Do I have to say anything else? Putting a shoe on is like having an orgasm. It is truly amazing. I fell in love with about a dozen pair. I ended up not buying a single pair. I couldn't choose which ones I wanted.

 As Justin picks out some clothes, I try on more shoes. I found an amazing pair of Yves Saint Laurent black crocodile pumps. I walked over to Justin's dressing room, he is in nothing but boxer briefs, and whisper to him, "I am going to buy these... and wear them tonight... and nothing else." He raises his eyebrows with excitement and says, ‘We'll take those for sure!' We shopped all morning. Clothes, shoes, furniture, paintings, purses, anything we could look at and purchase, we did. I spent an entire month's salary on a single pair of shoes, but those YSL shoes were smoking hot.

We had a picnic lunch in Central Park before he had to go to Madison Square Garden for more rehearsals. He was hoping he could cancel tonight because I was in town, but I insisted that we go. He had only a short time to get ready for all the appearance he had to do for the album.

We arrived at the venue a little late. We were only ten minutes late due to traffic but you would think that we were hours late by the reaction for his co-manager. He walked over to me and made a snide comment and I turned to him and said, "I know you don't like me and you seem to think I have ulterior motives however I think you need to realize that I'm not going anywhere. If you think that I was going duck and run your wrong. I'm not that person anymore."

"What are you plans, why did you choose Justin?" he asked.

"I don't have any plans. I didn't choose Justin; we met by accident on a plane. Trust me all the events let led me to be on that very flight would not be planned on my part."

"If you think he is going to choose another fame hungry person over his career again, you have another thing coming. I will stop him this time. I won't let someone else come into his life and tare him down again."

I got very defensive, "I would never, nor will I ever make him choose me over his passion for music. I understand that we are going to have challenges being together but that won't stop me from standing beside him and letting him makes music, tour, or whatever else he wants to do. I'm not that person and if you make him choose, that's a decision you will have to make and have to live with everyday. However you need to remember that I'm not going anywhere. I am here to stay so it's either going to be easy or its going to be hell for you." I walked away from him. This guy was not going to talk to me like that. He barely knew me. He had no clue what kind of person I was. Johnny had better come back from vacation soon before I hurt this guy. Justin told me he has a power trip when Johnny isn't around, I didn't think he was that bad.

A couple hours later we went to dinner and back to the apartment. The weekend was going by too fast. I wanted to freeze time and let this be what it was. We arrived at his apartment and found all the bags of stuff that he purchased today. I notice there is way more stuff that I remember him saying he wanted.

"These are for you. " I looked at the area he was pointing at. There were fifty or so bags everywhere. "I .. I.. I can't accept this stuff. It's way too much money." He said, "You will accept all of it, I won't take no for an answer." He is kissing my neck, my collarbone, and down to my chest. "Now, you should do a little fashion show for me and I can help remove the clothing." I guess this is how he lives and he is used to dropping seventy-five thousand dollars and not thinking twice about it.

I noticed the bag that has the YSL heels in it. I opened them and was going to wear them with a pair of jeans and a top he had bought me. I take out the box and the receipt hit the floor. It was a credit card slip, saying my card payment had been refunded. He paid for these shoes as well. As excited as I was for all the stuff, a part of me felt bad. I didn't want him to think he could do this all the time. I wasn't going to let him pay for everything.

We arrived at the arena, to a massive crowd of cameras. Justin laughs and says, "Melissa, I'm tired of these people following you around. Do you have to be such a diva and need twenty photographers taking your picture?"

"You just jealous that I can get twenty and you can only get ten."

 "I guess that's true. We all can't be you."

You have to take it all with a grain of salt. Even though he gets pissed off at them when they are all up in his face sometimes, they were not going anywhere, there was no use in making the scene worse than is already is.

This was his last night rehearsing in New York City, his stage and all the music instruments were being shipped to L.A. so they could rehearse there. These were basically to get everyone ready for what was going to happen in L.A. They haven't played together for a couple years, they needed to get back into the flow of things and bring back their sound together.

***

The next morning we went to the studio. He was hoping to at the very least get the vocals done and finish up the music when his is back in L.A. I wanted to finish the track today. I wanted to hear the finished product. The first moment in that booth I felt like I was a fish out of water. I had no clue what I needed to do.

"Just relax, and sing. That's what the studio is for."

 I am shaking. I can feel my knees quivering.

"I am so nervous. I don't want to screw this up for you."

"I don't think that's possible. If for some reason this track doesn't work out well then it's not meant to be."

 I take a deep breath and sing. The lyrics are in front of me. I can do this. Breath in and out, breath in and out.

There is no demo of the lyrics for the track. He finished the lyrics this morning while we were in bed. He wanted this to happen the way it happened. I actually surprised myself with how well I was doing. I did the first chorus probably ten or fifteen times, and then he did a chorus. He wanted to figure out how he wanted the lyrics to be portrayed. Then he said, "I want us to be standing in front of one another and sing as if we were doing it live for the first time. I want the raw emotion and everything."

It sounded better with the both of us feeding off the other. It was like we were singing to the one person we love most in the world instead of us singing to a microphone. I thought it was perfect, but he wanted more. He thought that I should use that powerhouse voice that I didn't know I had. I knew that I could sing, but I never imagined that I would classify as ‘powerhouse'. It was a true power ballad. I was extremely happy with it. I almost didn't think that was me singing on the track.

I was trying to perfect this "powerhouse" sound he wanted. I wasn't even sure I could get my voice to do that. He wanted something that I could pull off for every performance but still surprise people. He wouldn't do a show unless it was completely live. I never thought I would be actually performing this with him. That scared me a little. I assumed it would be on the album and that's it.

 I walked out of the booth and see that there are more people here. Justin's mother, Lynn, and his cousin, Rachel came to visit and see how the track was coming along. Plus they brought us lunch. They walked in as I was in the booth. I didn't know they were here. Lynn is the first to say something, "You sound amazing." I blush and say thank you. Rachel, who I was the most nervous to meet, she is the closest to Justin other than his mother. She is very protective of him.

She smiles and says, "So this is the Melissa I have heard so much about, it's nice to finally meet you. You have an amazing voice, that track is perfect with you on it. I have heard Justin playing the melody for months and he couldn't get the right lyrics for it. I guess everything happens for a reason."

I was stunned, "Thank you. It means a lot coming from the both of you."

 Justin steps in the booth, to fix what I don't know, his tracks are flawless. So I am left with his mom and cousin. I wasn't really nervous I was watching Justin, watching how he works. Creepy but that's how I learn, I watch how others do it. Then flip it and do it my way. Rachel comes over close to me and says, "It has to be perfect. He will be in there for the next 12 hours if he has to. This is why we brought you lunch. He won't leave until its perfect to him."

I laugh, because I know this to be true. "I couldn't imagine having a track that he wasn't completely happy with though. That's just who he is."

Lynn chuckles to herself, ‘Sadly you have only known him for a short time and you know that. The moment you meet him, you just know instantly that he is a perfectionist."

Rachel fires out with a question, "So what are you plans?"

I was confused, "Plans for what?"  Everyone seems to think I have this master plan with him.

"Well knowing Justin as well as I do. I know he is very interested in you. I would put money on the fact that this whole relationship was love at first sight. I know you are both stubborn with the word ‘love'. You both feel it but can't express it yet because it's only been two weeks. Love isn't determined by time it's by a feeling. You guys should just say it and get it over with. Anyways back to my question. Are you going to move to L.A. or are you going to attempt a long distant relationship?"

I honestly didn't know at this point. "I haven't made a choice yet. I know that I care a lot about him. I know that I want to make this work. I am leaning towards just moving to L.A. but then I have to find another job and all those kind of details. It's only been two weeks. Everything has happened so fast."

"You know that if I had an issue with him being with you, I would have stopped this by now. I wouldn't let him get so attached to another woman that will break his heart. He deserves better than that. I am putting my trust in you. All I ask is that you don't let me or him down."

I wasn't expected that reaction from her. You would almost think she was his mother, but I understand she is protecting him. Lynn chimes in, "On a much lighter note, how is your first time to NYC going?"

"It's actually pretty great. I have a great tour director. Despite all the attention that Justin draws in, simply by walking out of his apartment we have got to see and do a lot of things. I would love to come back here. I leave tomorrow afternoon so I didn't get to spend much time here."

"Next trip is to L.A.?" Lynn says it as a comment more than a question.

I paused for a second, "Yes. It might be a move, not a visit though."

The smile on Rachel and Lynn's face lit up and Lynn said, "That would be a great move for you."

Justin walks out of the booth, "Are you people grilling my girlfriend. Leave her alone." We all laugh.

Rachel with her constant snide comments adds "It's not like that, and we actually like this one."

Justin replies with, "Well, hell lets go to Vegas and get married. My mom and Rachel agree on the same person for me. That's a first."

"Have they not liked any your ex's?"

"Not a single one of them. There was something with all of them they didn't like."

"I guess that means I am a keeper" and walks over to me and kisses me with those wonderful lips, "You bet your marry booty you are."

We finish the track. The other producer said he would have it mastered and mixed in a couple hours if we wanted to stop back and get it. We decided to go see a movie while we wait. If not I would be totally impatient and wanting to hear the end result of the song.

It's strange to have a low key night, simply going to the movies and having twenty people in tow following you around. Justin seemed to have mastered how to do normal things and be in this career. He has been in it for a very long time.

We decide on a romantic comedy, mostly because that's what I wanted to see. The theater was sold out, not a great choice on my part. We do however find two seats in the very last row on the top. We sit down and he is holding my hand, being very flirty with me. The person sitting next to Justin says, "OH MY GOD! You're like... Justin Timberlake!"

He laughs and says, "No, I'm pretty sure I am just Justin Timberlake. It's nice to meet you, what's your name?"

She couldn't say a word, not a single word could form at this moment. Then her friend says, "Hi, I'm Heather, and this here is Jennifer. We are huge fans of yours. Don't mind her she will calm down in a second."

Justin points at me and says, "This is Melisa, she is my girlfriend. I would really like to impress her tonight so if I could just be Justin that would be wonderful!"

The girls nod their head and turn to the screen. You could see the fidgetiness of both of them. They let us watch the movie, they would turn once and a while but they really respected our space.

After the movie I had to run to the restroom. He was signing autographs for a couple people. It was great to step back and watch these people being so gracias to be in his presence.  The restroom is packed, I get in the stall and I can hear people talking about me.

"Who is the chick with Justin?"

"They were so cute. He was like rubbing on her hand the whole time. There's no way they have known each other only a couple weeks."

"She is gorgeous and so lucky"

I step out of the stall and it is now completely quiet. I look up in the mirror and everyone is looking at me. I turn and reach out my hand to shake theirs, "Hi, I'm Melissa. This is very weird; however it's nice to meet all of you."

I shook some hands and turned to walk out the door and one girl was like, "Have you really only known him two weeks? I read somewhere they you have been secretly dating him for a year?"

I laugh. "Don't believe everything read. I have only known him a couple weeks. We are still getting to know each other. I really have to go. It was really nice to meet all of you. Have a great night."

I see him standing next to the pillar waiting for me. I stop for just a moment to take it all in, simply taking all of it in. He wraps his arms around my shoulder and kisses my head. "Are you ready to here the track?" I am giddy about hearing the track.

 "Just in time, Hot off the Press! ‘My Last Name' is finished and mastered." Jay the producer begins to play the song. I sit down and take it all in. I will never get to hear the first listen to the first song I ever recorded again. The song gave me goose bumps. I was crying by the end, I couldn't imagine it coming out any better than it did. The producer said, "If this doesn't make the cut for this album, you are crazy. This track is going to set you to new heights. Not to even mention what it's going to do for her career." My career, I didn't have a career.

 I looked at him then Justin. Then Justin said, "I'm taking it to the label in the morning. I want it on this album, no doubt about that. Let's just hope the listen to me."

"They usually do, I remember when they didn't want to release ‘SexyBack" as the first single, they said it would never work. Boy was they wrong about that."

"Yea, I was right about that song being the first single, they have for the most part let me do my own thing."

Then he turned to me and asked, "When are you going to start recording your album?"

I looked confused, "Me? I'm not signed to a label."

"You are telling me that there is not a single label out there that wants you? They are crazy people"

"I haven't tried to get a deal yet."

"Well I'm glad to hear the ‘yet' in there."

We get back to the apartment, and Justin says he needs to talk to me. Of course my mind immediately goes to some other place. Is he going to break up with me? Does he want something else? Did I totally screw up today? What was going on? Then I thought to myself, hey stupid if you would just listen to him you would know what is going on.

"I want to sign you to Tennman Records. I want you to record the album exactly the way you want to. I don't want to have some big label telling you what to record."

"Are you serious? You want to sign me to your label?"

"I'm dead serious. I think that we as a team could be great together. It's not something that happens overnight. But let me tell you that as soon as my album drops and people hear that single they are going to want to know who you are and when you're releasing an album. I have to get all the loose ends tied together, but yes I want to sign you to my label."

With the shocked looked on my face I snap out of whatever trance I was in. "I want to record an album; I want you to be completely involved. I only have one request."

"Anything" he says.

"Well now, I guess I can pretty much have anything I want." With that smirk on my face he seems to oblige "I'm just kidding. I want our professional relationship to be separate from our personal relationship. I don't want any advantages or perks because I give you sex."

"Done" He says,

"I will have the label draw up the papers and have you a check in the morning."

"A check?"

"Well yes, you will receive an advance for this track we recorded today. This does mean you have to make a decision very quickly about moving."

That is the question of the decade.

I have always wanted to be that person to move. I didn't like being the small town girl. I wanted to be in a big city and close to the fashion world. Being in Ohio wasn't getting me far. Why was it that I had the opportunity right in the palm of my hands and I was second guessing it? Life was piecing together for me and I wasn't grabbing a hold of all the pieces and putting it together.

The next morning was crazy. We were going to Justin's label to play the song for them, see if there was a stamp of approval. According to Justin, at this point in his career he makes his own song choices for an album however if they completely hate it they can pull the money for the promotion of the album. He had insisted that regardless of their opinion it was going to be on the album.

We walk into this huge marbled floor entry way. The receptionist says, "May I help you."

Justin laughs and says, "I'm Justin Timberlake and I'm here to see the boss."

She realizes who he is and why he is here, "Just a minute I will let him know you are here."

He turns to me and says, "Breath, it will be fine" I don't think I took a breath from the moment I walked off the elevator.

"Mr. Timberlake, Mr. Weiss is ready for you now. Just down the hall to the right." Justin mumbles, "Like this is my first visit here."

"Hello Barry, how are you doing this fine day in New York City?"

"Well I guess we will find out when I hear some of these tracks for the new album. I'm delighted that you decided to record another album and release it so soon."

"Well, I thought I had better get back to doing what I love to do before the public decides they don't really like my music." Justin laughs "I am getting old."

Barry looks up and says, "What's that supposed to mean? "

"Well you know how this business works."

"That's the truth. Okay enough staling I want to hear the tracks."

Justin plays twelve songs that he brought and Barry said, "I'm impressed. You never seem to disappoint. It's going to be a success. The first single is releasing to radio next week, and it looks like it already leaked to the internet but the buzz on it is great."

Justin looking a little nervous, a side I haven't seen in him. "Well, I have one more track I want you to hear. It's different from those songs. It's actually a ballad, a duet."

Barry was surprised. "A duet? An actual power ballad style duet? That's a first from you. I have to hear this, put it in."

Justin hands the single track over to his assistant, who was wearing a skirt that was inappropriate for any type of office, the music begins to play. I don't look at anyone except my beautiful new shoes. I was really nervous. I could feel my palms really getting really sweaty.   Justin grabs my hand under the table and whispers in my ear, "Look up, he is enjoying it. He is happy with it." I look up and he is really listening to it. I couldn't tell if he was happy with the song or not. He was looking straight ahead, focused only on the song. When it finishes, there was silence. Oh no! Did he hate it?

"Who is that female? I want to sign her right now."

Justin looks at me, "That is the beautiful woman sitting next to me. This is Melissa, and actually you are already too late. She has agreed to sign to Tennman Records."

Barry shakes his head, "Damn you, I would have signed her in a heartbeat. I would be more than willing to sign her with Tennman as the parent company and I partner up with you for her album."

Justin seems to like that idea, "We will have to discuss it more in detail at a later time." "Sounds great, but you know the business very well Justin, you know the moment that track is heard they are going to want details of who she is and where can they get her music."

"I explained that to her. We are going to get in the studio as soon as we can."

His assistant interrupts us. He comes back and says, "Justin when are you headed back to L.A.?"

He looks at me as if I knew his schedule, "Tomorrow afternoon sometime I'm not sure on the time."

"Well if you want to head home tonight they are telling me that my new ‘star' wants the private jet to pick her up in L.A and take her to Paris because she doesn't want to fly commercial. Some people have demands. Back to my point, if you want to go home tonight you can use the jet. I would hate to have it fly empty across the country from no reason."

"Sure that's fine, can you have it arranged to stop it Pittsburgh first? Melissa is flying out tonight and I would like to have her with me until she has to leave."

"Pittsburgh huh, Steelers fan?"

"Oh, yes. I am a huge Pittsburgh Steelers fan. It would be really hard to not be in that area." I smile that really big cheesy smile and think ok stupid stop it. I was a proud fan.

He looks at Justin "I will have it arranged." Then he looks at me, "It was very nice to meet you. I look forward to hearing what you can do. If it turns out half as good as that track I just heard is, I will be extremely happy."

Holy crap, It was a success. As great as I thought it was, it's still a surprise to hear someone in his position saying things like that. In the car I was still in a state of shock.

I called Kia to see if she could pick me up at the airport a couple hours later than originally planned and she said yes. I told her about my adventures in the studio, I told her I would bring the song home for her to hear it.

The flight home was short, quicker than I wanted it to be. I step off the plane and Kia was not there, Steven was. I knew I was in some kind of trouble with him. "Hi Steve, how are you?"

"Just wonderful" However it was in that I am so going to kick your ass voice.

 Justin steps off the plane to tell them which luggage was mine, and what bags. Steve's eyes get huge, "How many pairs of shoes did you buy?"

"I didn't buy anything. He did."

"Thanks man, that's what she needs, more shoes."

"Yea I noticed she has a shoe problem, but they were hot and well..."

Steve looks disgusted "I don't need to hear any of that. She's like my little sister."

"Oh yea, I wasn't thinking."

We get in his truck and I know instantly something is wrong. He isn't acting right. "What's wrong? Why did Kia not pick me up?" He looks at me in that way that he just edging to scream about something.

"I told her not to pick you up that I wanted to and that I wanted to talk to you."

"So what's up, you're scaring me?"

"We will talk at dinner, we need to talk. I made reservations and I am starving."

 I didn't have a clue what was going on. I know I didn't do anything to make him worry or be disappointed or anything. I had no clue what this was all about. He didn't talk to me the entire time, from Airport to Robinson. He was building up everything to blow up on me in public, great. Yet I wasn't sure what we were driving fifteen minutes in the wrong direction to simply have dinner and to talk. Maybe he wanted to be in an area where there was a better chance we wouldn't know anyone. Not sure about anything at this point. At least it was a public place, there would be witnesses.

Steve doesn't deal with people staring, pointing, or photographers who won't leave us alone. I have learned pretty quickly to just let them be. He didn't have that quality. We sit for dinner and I say, "I'm not ordering anything to eat. I am not doing anything until you tell me what this is all about." I couldn't take the silence any longer.

He finally speaks. "I am worried about you. I have known you for nearly a decade. I have never known you to be this head over heels for a guy in ... ever. Are you sure this is the real deal or is this guy buying you thousand dollars shoes and buying your love. I know you this isn't you; you normally wouldn't be this person. But sometimes we get sucked into things."

I interrupt him, "I know that the last couple guys I dated were not good for me, but this is a good one. I promise you that I am happy. For the first time in a long time I am happy. Do I know what is going to happen tomorrow or next week, no? However I am taking the chance. I am being human and taking chances again. I let myself become almost non-existent for the last couple of years. I'm trying here. I'm taking baby steps."

"Taking baby steps, is not flying to New York City for the weekend, baby steps is not him buying you, what $20,000 worth of stuff." "It has to be different with him. He lives a different lifestyle than we ever have. Flying to a different city every other day isn't abnormal for him. Dropping $50,000 on a window shopping adventure isn't abnormal for him. It's how he lives his life."

It gets quiet again.

"I just want you to be happy. If he is what makes you happy, I will approve over time. But the moment he hurts you... I swear to you Mel, I will hurt him more than he has ever been hurt before. You're an amazing person, and you deserve someone as great as you are. I love you, so if you say this is what you want, this is what should have."

"Thank you for caring about me. I love you too!"

Having the friends I do, is truly amazing. I am very blessed.

I arrived at work early, surprising but true.  I figured I would get settled in and try to get things accomplished that day. How wrong I was. The day starts off minor however pissing me off, commenting on my $1200 shoes. ‘Why would anyone pay that much money for those? It's not like she bought them anyways she has a super rich boyfriend now. It's just what she has always wanted, someone to buy her things.' This hurt. I have never been the person that dated someone for their money. If that were true, I wouldn't have dated the two fouls I did. I ended up in my manager's office that day. I told her I wasn't sure how much longer I would be with the company. I have another offer, which requires me to move. She asked how I was handling all the attention and being the constant "talked" about person. I explained to her that it really didn't matter what anyone said but sometimes it hurts. These people whom I have worked with for nearly six years think they don't really know me.

Lately I sat at lunch alone. I needed that alone time, plus I didn't want to answer any personal questions, so I avoided it. They seemed to think they could say what they wanted and asked what they wanted. I was never a person that divulged details of my relationships, what would make them think this was any different. Maybe because Justin is in the public eyes, I didn't know but I wasn't going to explain to these people my life and relationship with him. They thought they knew the new me anyways so I shouldn't have to tell them anything. They should already know.

Today was different however. Aaron came and sat with me. He is someone that I have always been close to. For a long time, I thought that maybe we would be more than friends. He was my type, I really did care about him but things would have never worked with us. We were better friends than we would have ever been in a relationship. I was glad I had him right now. He was quiet for the first couple minutes. Then he asked, "How are you doing? I have never seen you feel so out of place before. You are so happy yet so unhappy at the same time."

I looked at him with tears in my eyes, "This is a time in my life when I am extremely happy and I don't understand how people would want me to be unhappy. This is their insecurities, not mine. Whatever makes them sleep at night I guess?"

"Why do you think they are acting like this? I came back from China and all I heard yesterday was about this situation."

"It's not a situation, it's my life, and it's my feelings that are getting hurt. I have been the talk around this place before however this time it's worse than before."

"I'm here if you ever want to talk. I know I am not in the office a lot anymore but you have my number, you can call me anytime."

"Thanks, it means a lot."

It was the longest day ever. The clock never seemed to get close to that damn five. At exactly 5:00 I was walking out of the building thinking that I may never walk back in this building again. I am no sooner than get in my car and Aaron calls.

"Are you ok? You look really upset?"

"I can take a lot of crap but this really is too much to handle. Did you know that someone left a post it on my monitor that said, ‘Gold Digger'? Seriously do these people not know me at all?"

"You're serious? That's just crazy. Anyone that even remotely knows you knows that not who you are."

"Oh, and did I tell you about the book of pictures that someone put in my mail box?"

"No, what pictures?"

"There was like a hundred pictures from Cancun and New York that look as if they are paparazzi photos, and there are comments wrote on them. ‘This is never work' ‘You're a nobody to him in reality' ‘Must feel great to be you, Miss Wonderful on top of the world'. They are seriously just stupid comments but I'm only human. I have feelings."

"I'm sorry this is happening to you. You don't deserve this."

"I didn't think I did. But I guess you can't make everyone happy."

"What are you doing later?"

"Nothing, hiding at my house."

"Want to do dinner, I'm starving and I think you could use some company tonight."

"Sounds great, it would be great to not be at home alone all evening."

"Great, how does 7:00 sound?"

"Perfect."

Aaron picks me up and we go to Quaker State & Lube. It's a beautiful afternoon so we opted for the patio seating. I didn't need to be in room full of strangers talking about me. We sit and the hostess says our waitress will be here to get our drink order in a minute.

The waitress comes over, "What can I get you both to drink?"

"I will take a Whiskey Sour on the rocks." I know I shouldn't have whiskey but it's what I want.

He tells the waitress that he will take the same. "Are we drinking hard core today?"

"Actually it's been a rough couple weeks. I need all I can get." I turn and tell the waitress, "Keep them coming until I tell you to stop."

"Does Justin know what's been going on?"

"I tell him some of it. He thinks it's the whole small town jealousy thing. He wants me to move to L.A."

"Do you want to move?"

"Yes, I have always wanted to move to L.A. I want a career in music and fashion. I do worry though. I never wanted to move for a relationship. What if our relationship doesn't last? It's a lot to chance. It's not like I'm moving to Pittsburgh and can simply drive home and live with my mom. It's not like that."

She returns with our drinks, she says "I'm sorry do I know you? You look so familiar."

I look at her and say, "No, I don't think so."

Aaron chimes in, "You probably know her boyfriend."

I get the angry look on my face, my eyes get huge. I hissed, talking through my teeth "Shut up." She looks again. "You're Melissa Roberts, Justin Timberlake's girlfriend. I heard you lived locally but I didn't believe it. Wow, that's so cool." She gets little red, and then realizes why she is standing at our table. "Sorry, are you ready to order?"

"I'll take an order of Parmesan Boneless Wings and an order of fries"

Aaron laughs, "I'll take a dozen hot wings, and fries"

"What's so funny about what I ordered, it's basically the same thing you ordered?"

"You are at a wing place and you order boneless wings.... It's just funny."

"I'm sorry that's the funny to you."

            We had finished dinner, and were having a few more drinks and having a good time. I haven't had a normal day in a while. Everyone is usually pointing fingers or crowding around. It's has been never ending. I wasn't sure that I wanted to step into the career that is all about tarring people down. But then again, it was Hollywood, not a small town in Ohio. I would be giving up a lot to have the career I wanted.

            On the way home from dinner, Justin called. He had tour rehearsals again today, along with photo shoots for promotion. It's been a busy week for him as well. I tell him I had dinner with Aaron, about the rough day. Not a single worry in his voice, he trusts me.

"What did you have good to eat, I'm starving."

"I had boneless parmesan wings at Quaker State & Lube, which Aaron made fun of me about."

"Sounds yummy, I would have made fun of you as well."

"I had a bunch of Whiskey as well.... It was a rough day."

He got quiet, "I wish I was there for you on days like this." He is beating himself up about it

"You being on the other end of this phone conversation is being there for me. Don't worry about it, tomorrow will be better."

***

            The next day at work was no better than the day before and the days that followed were even worse. When Friday finally came I was overjoyed. I had planned to spend the weekend with Kia and Stacy shopping. I was going to play the song for them on the way up. I had to wait until I got the release from the label to get a copy of it.

            Overly excited I blurt out, "Here it is... the song I have been hiding for nearly a week." I want you guys to hear it. They were silent, listening to every single word. I saw the tears rolling down Kia face. She wipes them thinking I didn't see them. "Well, what do you think?" I asked

"It's beautiful." Stacy says.

Kia, the speech maker of the group "Mel, I am so proud of you. First of all your voice sounds amazing on this song, it's flawless. The lyrics are.... they have so much passion behind them. It's an amazing song."

            They liked it. I was proud of the song, I was happy they liked it. Shopping is something we have always done together. If you can't take criticism, don't go shopping with us. If something isn't cute, we will simply tell you. I am more likely to take a risk with something then Kia or even Stacy. I seem to tell Kia all the time to step out of her box. She is classy and sophisticated but she never puts an edge to it at all. Stacy on the other hand she pushes the envelope too much sometimes. Not from trying different styles but revealing way too much. I am in the middle of the two but I tend to try different styles all the time.

Our shopping adventure was foreshadowed by some events that I didn't have control over. Every outlet in the world had pictures of me having lunch with Aaron at work, dinner with Aaron, and him dropping me off at home.

I received a phone call from Justin. He seemed different, like something was bothering him. He is trying to ask something, but can't form the words. He finally has enough courage.

"Aaron, he is a just a friend, right?"

"Yes, Aaron and I have been friends a long time."

"There's nothing going on, right?"

 "He is just a friend, nothing more. We talked about this."

"I know, but I saw the pictures. It looked a little more than just a friendship."

"You're kidding me right? I can't believe you are even asking me about this. I can't believe you would think that I would..."

"I just don't know anymore. Every person I trust ends up hurting me. I need to make sure. I didn't think you would ..."

I interrupt him, "I told you countless times before I will never cheat on you. I will never dishonor your trust. I can't believe you are actually asking me this question right now." It was quiet for a moment, the tears start to fall...I hang up the phone. I sit on a bench outside of the store I was just in, crying. I knew he would find a way to hurt me. I knew I was in over my head. Why, why do I trust anyone if they can't do the same in return.

Stacy comes to find me "What's wrong?"

"Justin saw some pictures. He thinks that Aaron and I are more than friends. He thinks I cheated on him."

"You're joking right? You would never cheat on anyone."

"I know that. You know that, but he has made it clear that he doesn't know that."

"Let's get Kia, we will leave."

"No, I don't want to ruin our girl's day. Let's shop."

            I didn't want to be shopping. I wanted to be sitting in dark room by myself. I wanted to go back into my little box and never come out. However I couldn't let yet another guy tare me down. I had let myself get too far into this too soon. I really thought this time was different. The moment I met him and talked to him it was different.

"Mel, has he called back?" Kia asked.

"Yes, eight times."

"Why didn't you answer?"

"I don't want to talk to him right now."

"Maybe he can explain."

"Explain what, that he doesn't trust me.  That I made a mistake in trusting someone I really didn't know. I don't want to talk to him right now...." I stopped, exhaled "I just don't."

            On the way home he called three more times. Finally I simply sent him a text message, ‘I need time to think, decide what I need to do. I would never cheat on you.  I thought you knew that about me. Please give me a little time.' He sent a message that said, ‘I'm so sorry, I screwed up. I'm sorry. Take all the time you need.'

Everything happens for a reason. At least that's what I tell myself when something bad happens in my life. As if work wasn't enough drama for me, the week was worse than ever. Now I have involved someone that had nothing to do with my choices. Aaron had now entered my world of drama. I walked into his office and shut the door.

"I'm sorry that this has involved you now. I never thought having dinner with a friend I have known for years would cause this kind of drama. If I could take it back I would."

"Don't worry about it. It's a stupid rumor that will calm down in a couple days. I'm not worried about it at all. I am however worried about you. How are you?"

"I have been better. Justin thinks I cheated on him, with you."

"You're serious? He knew we were at dinner, he knows I am just a friend."

"I guess there were some pictures that he thought were questionable. I haven't seen the ones he saw so I'm not real sure."

"Mel, there are people in life that we meet and we never see again, but then there are people we meet and spend forever with. He is the person you're supposed to spend forever with. You'll get past this, and you will marry him someday. I promise you that."

"How can I spend forever with someone that doesn't trust me? Why does everyone keep saying he is the person I'm going to marry? I have only been with him a couple weeks."

"Love is not determined by time. It's not something that is on a strict scheduled timeline. When it happens it does, let it happen."

"You know I really dislike you at this moment."

"I know but someone needs to keep you from putting that wall back up."

"What wall?"

"You know exactly what I am talking about. Ever since Matt you have had this wall built up that is taller than you are and you stay behind it. You can't keep doing that to yourself."

"I don't have a wall built up."

"Okay whatever, keep lying to yourself."

            I left his office and went directly into my boss's office.

"I can't do this anymore. I know that it sounds weak but I can't take the notes being left on my desk, the constant accusing of something, and now involving Aaron in drama that has nothing to do with him. I think that it's better for the company and most of all it will be better for me if I turn in my resignation."

"Is there anything I can do to keep you?"

"I honestly think it's beyond that point now. I have been walking around this place for two solid weeks and dealing with all of this drama. I won't do it anymore."

"I'm sorry to see you go, however I understand. When would you like you last day to be?"

"I'll finish out the week."

"I wish there was something that could keep you here. I will get the paperwork done and have it all signed on Friday."

***

            The days leading up to my last day, I told not a single person I was leaving the company. I haven't spoken to anyone all week. Last time I spoke to Justin was the text telling him I needed time. My missed call log was extensive. Stacy called five or six times. Steve had called a couple times. Kia had called nearly twenty times and the last voice message basically telling me if I didn't return her phone call within a couple hours she was going to come find me. Well I guess she had better come find me, I wasn't talking to anyone.

            She held her word. Within two hours she was standing at my front door. I open the door and say, "I'm sorry." She looks at me, up and down.

"How long to do think you can keep this up. You know I will give you so much time then I'm going to come after you. Have you even left the house in a week?"

"Yes. I have been to work all week."

"How has that gone for you?"

"Tomorrow is my last day. I put in my resignation and I couldn't be happier about it."

"That's great news. I guess then you decided to move to California?"

"I have enough money saved and from the advance for the track I did with Justin that I can take some time off."

"Ok that didn't answer my question. Have you talked to Justin? Or anyone for that matter?"

"Nope."

"Have you decided what you're going to do?"

"No."

"I can't stay. I have to work in about twenty minutes. I'm on midnights again however I won't let you fall apart. I am here to hold all your pieces together. If you decide to not be with Justin that's fine, it has to be your choice. But let me tell you something. I think you are scared that this could be your one. I think you are scared that you have found your next path and you are scared to take it. I would be scared if I was in your shoes to. Having to make a decision as big as moving three thousand miles away has to be an enormous weight on your shoulders."

I interrupted her, "Why does everyone keep saying that."

"Saying what?"

"He is my one. He is the one I'm going to spend forever with."

"Mel, I saw you two together. Everyone saw you together. We saw the sparks, instantly. How do you know he is not the one?"

"I don't."

"Well then just trust me. If you don't trust your own instincts right now, trust mine. I'll call you tomorrow. I have to go I'm going to be late. I love you. Call him."

            I didn't call him. I felt like this was childish on my part but I had to make a decision before I spoke to him. I had to make a choice and soon because I couldn't keep stringing him along either. He deserved to at the very least know what I was going to do.

            I arrived at work early the next morning to clean out my desk. I accumulated a lot of things after so many years. I wanted to do it before anyone else got there. I didn't tell anyone except my mother and Kia that it was my last day. I wanted to walk out at the end of the day and be done with everything involving this place. Someone else had to have spilled the beans because my desk was decorated in balloons and a sign that said congratulations. I wasn't sure if this was people being genuine or was they ecstatic to get rid of me. I had a bunch of people ask why I didn't say anything and I was pretty blunt, telling them I have had enough drama in the last two weeks alone in this place. I wanted it all to be over with. I made sure I told the ones that were making the most comments about me and my life outside of work that I was still the same person they have worked next to for the last five or so years. I was never going to change. They of course pretended like they hadn't said anything at all. It was fine, I was done with them.

            Aaron felt bad. He blamed himself for asking me to dinner for the reason I was leaving. If he wouldn't have done that then things wouldn't have escalated to the degree that they had. I assured him that, him being my friend and taking me to dinner was the greatest thing he could have done. I knew that no matter what he would be the friend I could lean on if I needed him. I had to do this for me.

I finished the paperwork in the late afternoon. I return to my desk and see that it's covered in roses. There were six dozen gorgeous red roses sitting on my desk. I didn't have a clue who they could be from. I see a small card attached to one of the vases. I sat down, opened it. In his perfect neat handwriting I read the card.

"I know that roads lead us all in different directions. I am glad the road I took, lead me to you. I miss you. I know you need your time but know that I love you. I need you. I Love You.-Justin"

            I feel my legs get very weak beneath me. I can't believe what I just read. The tears are streaming down my face. He loves me. He Loves Me. HE LOVES ME.

I know what I have to do. I know what I want to do. I pick up the phone and call Steve.

"Will you take me to the airport?"

"Yes, of course I will, when?"

"I don't know, tonight. I have to find a flight."

"What's going on?"

"He loves me. He... he... loves... Me."

"Okay?" He was a little confused. "It's about time you see this Mel."

"I know, and I know what I have to do now. He loves me. I love him. I want to be with him. I would move anywhere just to be with him. To wake up in his arms every morning, and lay in his arms at the end of every night, that's what I want."

            Merely three hours later I am in the airport. I'm so scared that I had screwed everything up and he wouldn't want to take me back, but he did send me roses. I had made a huge mess out of everything. Steve is sitting with me. I am shaking as the announcement is made that it was time to board. I had a final question for Steve, "What changed your mind? Why do you think I should be with him now?"

"He called me a couple days ago to check on you. He asked me to keep an eye on you for him. He was worried about you. He wanted to know if he should jump on a plane and just come here or let you have your space." I am sobbing at this point. "He told me that he knows that it's hard to find love when you have been hurt so many times, and he was lucky enough to find you. He said he loved you. That he was in love with you."

"Why didn't you tell me he called you?"

"You needed to make this decision on your own. It couldn't be a decision the rest of us thought it should be. You have to be the one to live with this decision for the rest of your life. He understood that as well. That's when he earned my respect."  He leans over and grabs my hand. "This will all work out. He loves you. Have a safe flight, be careful and I love you. I'll miss you but do this for you."

            The next thing I knew I was in Los Angeles. I walked out of the terminal at LAX. I had no clue what I was going to do now that I was actually here. I had flown three thousand miles and had not a single idea of what to do now. I call the one person I think will help me.

"Hey Rachel, its Melissa. Please don't hang up."

"I should after everything that's happened."

"I don't know what I was thinking. I just thought I couldn't be with someone that didn't trust me. I would never intentionally hurt him. I couldn't love someone that thought I would ever cheat on them."

"Wait, you love him?"

"Yes, I am so in love with him." It felt amazing to say that.

"It's about fucking time. Now how are you going to fix this?"

"I am standing in LAX at this very moment, my flight just landed. I am just going to show up and apologize and see if he still wants to be with me. I need your help though."

"Anything."

"I need the address and I need into that gated community."

"I will arrange for the guards to let you in the main gate, and let me know when you are here and I will let you in his gate."

            I looked like a hot mess. I had cried the entire flight. The thunderstorm in L.A was raging. Between the thunder and the lighting and the rain that sounded like hail pounding down on the cab, it was as if the dark clouds over me had opened up. I had a millions things running through my mind of what to say when I got there. Except when the cab arrived at the gate I didn't even know my own name. Suddenly it kicked in. "Melissa Roberts to see Mr. Timberlake." The guard sent us through. There was nothing stopping me now.

            I text Rachel and told her we at the gate, she lets us in. The rain had got even harder. I step out of the cab and I am instantly soaked. On the front porch I ring the doorbell, and wait. No one answers the door. The rain is running down my hair, face, and back. Finally a shadow appears behind the frosted glass window. The door opens, it's him standing in the doorway.

            "Mel?" He looked confused yet happy at the very some time. "What are you doing here? I didn't know you were coming?" I just stood there, frozen.  I only had three words I wanted to say to him.

 "I love you."

He smiles and says, "I love you" He rushes out the door and holds on for dear life.

"I love you, I love you, I love you." It felt so right. "I have waited my entire life to love someone the way I love you."

"I thought I was never going to see you again."

"I don't want you to ever think you can't trust me. I will always tell you the truth. I will always be faithful, I can promise you that."

"I promise you this now, you will be safe with me. I won't hurt you. I want you forever. I love you."

            We both realize we are still standing in the pouring down rain. "Why don't we go into the house" he says, "It's not so rainy in there. Oh... I have company I completely forgot." We walk through the doors and I see Rachel, Trace, and his current girlfriend Anabelle. They are clapping like they had seen the end of a play or movie. Rachel smiles at me, "It's about fucking time. It's good to see you again." Trace had to put his two senses in there, "Finally, you two are the most stubborn people I have ever known, it's ridiculous." Justin turns to me and says, "She's worth the wait."

            Justin asked if I wanted to shower and change out of those wet clothes, I laughed and said, "I think I will stay wet." Traces spits out the beer he was drinking, "I bet he wants you wet." Justin raises his eyebrows and says, "Your damn right I do."

He carries my luggage upstairs as I follow; I need to change out of my soaking wet clothes. We no sooner than walk into his bedroom and he has his hands all over me, removing every single piece of wet clothing on my body. It felt perfect, as if it was meant to be this way, the roads finally coming together.

We held each other like we hadn't seen each other in years. I lean into him and say, "I'm not going home. I quit my job. I'm all yours."

He leans back to look me in the eyes, "You're serious?"

"Yes" I can see the water start to fill up in his eyes.

"I love you"

"I love you to." With the sigh of relief, "It feels so good to say that."

            I joined everyone for a drink. Introduced myself to Anabelle, she is a really sincere nice woman. I hope Trace doesn't destroy her. She was born and raised in San Diego but now lives In L.A. She is an actress, that's a shocker for L.A., but she is doing very well for herself. She is someone that I can get along with.

"So, what's the plan Melissa?" Trace asks.

"What do you mean, plan?"

"You're in L.A. for good right?"

"Yes, I found an apartment. I am going to look at it tomorrow."

            They all look at each other with a strange look on their face.

"You are not paying for an apartment, I have this entire house." Justin is firm on this. "Not to mention I have a cold bed that needs someone to keep it warm with me."

"Do you think we are ready to live together?"

"I think that we have a lot to learn about each other, but I have spent too much of my life waiting for you. I am not about to let you spend another moment away from me"

"Well then I guess I'm moving in."

"Grab that microphone Melissa..." Justin's voice echoed through the entire venue. We have been rehearsing for the last month, working on tour setups, set lists, lighting, wardrobe, and staging. This week we began staging "My Last Name" into the set list. At first I couldn't get used to hearing my voice echo back inside the empty venue. Now, it's as if I don't even hear the echo. Singing with him was a huge responsibility and it's a huge amount of pressure on me but I wanted to start off singing one song before I had to handle an entire crowd by myself. I wasn't even sure if I could handle that.

I remember the first morning after I arrived in L.A. Justin had his head lying in the curve of my neck on my shoulder with his arms wrapped around me. Our road's had finally came together. I wanted to lie in his arms all day but my body was telling me it was time to get up, it was still on Eastern Time, so I got up and I went to sit on the back patio and watched the sun rise up over the hills as I drank a cup of coffee.

I didn't think I would ever get used to being here or being in this house. Justin's house was enormous. I was sure there were rooms he never even walked into. The most beautiful room in the house was next to the office, it overlooked the pool and the backyard. I referred to it as the ‘white whoa' room, everything was white. The only piece of actual furniture in the room was a white grand piano. I sat down and was playing random things, I had never had an actual lesson but I enjoyed playing piano. I started playing a song that I had loved so much. A song that I'm sure most have never even heard.

"Well, I put so much thought into getting ready... Now I know that was the best part...It's so easy to get caught up in what I'm regretting...Forget what I got from a wounded heart... I'm the one who likes Gardenia... I'm the one who likes to make love on the floor... I don't want to hang up the phone yet... It's been good...Getting to know me more..." I could hear my voice echoing in this room. The sound seemed to bounce back instantly.

            Justin walks in as I am singing, I stopped. "Please don't stop on my account that sounded beautiful."

"I'm sorry did I wake you?"

"No, I was awake. What is that song?"

"I'm hurt you don't know what that song is. It's called ‘Gardenia' it was on Mandy Moore's Wild Hope album. Undoubtedly it was her best album, and one of my all time favorites."

"I honestly don't think I have ever heard that album."

"You are missing out. It's a very well written and produced album. The kind of album I want to have."

"Your album is going to be more than you could have ever imagined."

"I hope so."

            His schedule had already got really busy. With me showing up unannounced, I couldn't affect the things he needs to do. I agreed to help wherever I could. He had photo shoots all week long with interviews for nearly thirty magazines and websites.  

            Justin's manager Johnny approached him just moments after arriving at the Burbank studio. He had bad news I could read it all over his face. "I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this Justin but I have some bad news." Johnny pauses and gets tears in his eyes. Justin is worried now. "What's wrong? You're making me really nervous." He looked at Justin and finally in a low voice said, "Sarah... was in a car accident on the way here this morning." The silence between them was hard to bare. Johnny's voice was shaking. "They rushed her to the hospital. But she died before she made it there. I'm so sorry..." Justin nearly hits the floor. In a voice that gives me chills he says, "Oh my..." he couldn't even form a sentence. He was speechless.

"I cancelled everything today. And for the next couple days. We will work out your schedule. Don't worry about any of it."

Finally Justin breaks his silence, "Will you let me know about the services." Johnny nods his head.

            Justin was heartbroken. Sarah was his personal wardrobe stylist and she had been with him for nearly five years. She was someone that he went to for style advice, love advice, and she was just simply someone he was proud to call a friend. I had only met her once briefly while in New York. She was working the wardrobe for the tour. I could see the pain in his eyes. I felt a lump in my throat. I knew the pain he was in, I had lost someone close to me and I still feel the pain every day.       

            In the car ride back to his house, he was quiet. I reached over and held his hand. I knew that if he wanted to talk, he would. He needed time to think everything through. "I need to go to the hospital. I need to see her family."

I encouraged him that he should go. "I'm here for you. Whatever you need but if you need to do this alone I understand."

"I need you. I need you to stand next to me. I don't even know how I'm going to face these people... after all she wouldn't have been in car if it weren't for me."

"It's not your fault Justin."

"I asked her to be there early. I asked her to make sure the wardrobe that they chose would work with what we wanted for the look of the album. I shouldn't have asked her to do that."

"Justin, listen to me." I grab his hand tighter, "Nothing you could have done would change this outcome. You could have made a hundred different choices and the result would be the same. It was her time. Please don't blame this on yourself."

"I made her work late nights. I made her be away from her family. I am the reason she is gone... She's gone." He pulls into the parking garage at Cedar-Sinai. He puts his head down.

            He steps out of the car and there are paparazzi swarming around him. They are not aware of why he is here but they see that he has been crying and upset. He ignores them until one of them ask him why he cancelled all his appointments today. Why he would waste so many people's time and cancel because he was sick or whatever was his reason. Justin turns very firmly towards that guy and says, "It's people like you in the world that have no compassion who are fucking idiots. I'm standing outside of a hospital, you have no idea why I am here and you want to make snide comments. I think you need to get out of my face before I hurt you so bad you will need to make a trip inside yourself." He shoves him back out of his way. He grabs my hand and we move at a rapid pace inside.

He sees her parents and family sitting in the emergency room. They were all huddled together, crying. He stops, "This is really happening. I don't know what to say to them." I honestly don't know what to say to him. Death is not an easy subject with me. "Tell them you're sorry for their loss. Tell him how much she meant to you."

            He slowly walked towards them. Sarah's mother approaches Justin. He hugs her and says, "I'm so sorry. I still can't believe that this has happened." She can barely speak. "I can't believe my little girl is gone. She is really gone." The tears start to roll down my face. I can't bear to see him in this kind of pain. There is nothing in the world I can do to take this pain away.

The next few days were a blur. Justin spent a lot of the time being very quiet, but not distant from me. We stayed in bed a lot, just lying there in each other's arms. Then there were times he would tell stories of crazy things they would do while on tour.  How her fiancé had just proposed to her a couple months ago. She was planning on a fall wedding this year, just a small simple ceremony with her closest friends and family. She had finally found someone that treated her the way she should be treated.

I knew that talking about the great times that they had together was the only thing we could do to get through this. Lying in bed I am thinking he was going to experience more pain tomorrow, when he actually sees her, that is when the pain is unbearable. That is when reality will set in that she is really gone. Having to leave the funeral home and know that she is there all alone. She is all by herself in the dark. She hates to be alone. My thoughts of turned to my experience with loosing Megan. I couldn't believe that this had all just happened. I couldn't wrap my thoughts around the idea that I would never see her smile again, to hear her complain about something, to hear that laugh again.

When I had walked through those doors of the funeral home the night before the first viewing I wasn't expected to see her. I was designated to drop off the dress for her and I walked around the corner and there she was. I felt my knees buckle underneath me and lose control of my whole body. That is the moment I realized how real it all was. She was really the one laying there, she had really died.

I jump out of bed and run downstairs, I am sobbing. All the pain and emotions were flooding back to me. This was not the time to have an emotional breakdown dealing with my past. I needed to be strong for Justin. He is the one that needs the comforting right now. I reached the kitchen and hit the floor. I've lost all control. I couldn't stop sobbing. I knew that I had to get myself under control. This was selfish of me.

Justin rushes into the kitchen. He didn't have any idea what was wrong with me. I was still on the floor.

"Mel, oh my god are you alright?" Justin is scared. I don't want him to have to deal with this.

"I'm ok. I just need a minute." I knew I wasn't ok but I had to get myself there very quickly.

"Is there something wrong?"

"It's just everything."

"Something I did? Why did you leave?"

"No, no it was nothing. It's just me." He is now sitting on the floor, trying to calm me down. "I'm so sorry. You must think I am really selfish and conceded. I just had too many thoughts in my head about Meg and it took over the best of me. I am so sorry. I didn't want you to have to deal with this right now. That's why I got up."

"You're far from selfish. I would never think that. I just need you to be ok."

"I am supposed to be there for you right now."

"You are here for me. And now I am here for you. Death isn't something that just goes away. Dealing with death doesn't have a timeline. It's with you every day and some days are harder to deal with. Loosing Sarah has brought up all these feelings for you... It's okay really. I would rather be here with you and deal with it than to have you deal with it on your own."

"I love you. Every day I love you even more."

"I love you to."

The night of the viewing had a lot of attendees but the services were very intimate. She was never the type of person to have kind of big event. Her previous clients and the crew she has worked with for the last five years were all there to say their final goodbyes.

Getting back to everyday things is very hard to do after a death but it's something you have to do. You have to move on with life. On the outside Justin seems to be a tough guy that doesn't let things bother him too much, but he lets things bother him way to much sometimes. Getting back to work and dealing with everyday minor drama would actually be comforting.

We arrived before the sun come up to that very same Burbank studio for some photo shoots. Justin stopped in his tracks when he realized that Johnny was walking towards him again. "I don't even want to know what is wrong today. Please go away."

"I don't have any bad news today. I wanted to make sure everything was worked out this morning before you got here."

"Was there something wrong with the shoots today?"

"No, but someone had to verify the wardrobe. I didn't want you to have to do it."

"Thank you."

"I know you don't want to do this right now or ever however I have to replace Sarah. I will call you later and see what I came up with."

            Justin knows this has to happen. "I don't want you to find someone else. I have a replacement."

"Oh, I didn't know you had made any calls about it or even thought about it."

"I want Melissa to take over for Sarah. I know that she can handle the job and I know that's what Sarah would have wanted. She loved Melissa's taste in fashion and I couldn't agree anymore."

Johnny looks surprised, "Melissa, are you interested in the job?"

"Of course." I look at Justin, "Are you sure about this?"

"I wouldn't have anyone else in that position. I think we should bring someone else on as well to help because you do have an album to record but I think you are the perfect person for the job."

"Then, Yes I will take the job."

"That settles it then." He asks Johnny "Can you find the number for Johanna Pepitone. See if she is interested?"

"Sure, I don't know where she is working now."

            I wanted to be the one to call her. So I asked Johnny to get me the number and I would contact her. When I finally got the number I called her. I had to leave her a voicemail and wait for her to return my call. She finally returned my call later that day.

"Hi Melissa, This is Johanna."

"Hi, how are you doing?"

"I'm doing ok, busy today but good." She paused and then said, "I'm sorry I don't think I know you?"

"You don't actually. I am working on the new tour and promotion for Justin Timberlake. And I know that you worked with him on the Future Sex/Love Show tour. Justin's recent personal stylist has passed away. I need someone to help me with his tour. I have a lot on my plate right now and I really need someone that knows Justin's taste and is willing to work with me to get everything perfect for this tour."

It was quiet for a moment, "Sarah died? When?"

"Yes, a little over a week ago."

"How?"

"Car accident. I'm sorry I am the one to tell you this."

"I used to be really close to her before I left Justin...It's hard to believe. I was on location all last week." She was caught up on her thoughts... "I'm sorry however I don't think I can take the job. I am currently working for ABC studios and I am under contract. I wish I could take it, I really miss everyone."

"It's fine. I will let Justin know and see if there is someone else he is interested in having on board. Again I'm sorry that a stranger had to give you that news."

            The very next day she calls me again. Fate must have stepped in because the show she was under contract with had been cancelled. She was being let out of her contract at the end of production. She took the job. Johanna and I now had a lot of work to do together and not a lot of time to do it in.

The first month in L.A was not what I expected but yet it was everything I had wanted. Sarah's death had been a low point for everyone. However everyone was excited to get this tour planned and on the road. This was the last thing she helped put together for Justin. Even though Justin's tour was main priority for me I had managed to record a dozen demos for my album at night after the rehearsals. Recording songs was exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I loved being in the studio, I loved playing music.

There was a time crunch to get everything together before it goes on the road. I knew once we were on the road I could record some tracks for the album. It was down to the last two weeks of rehearsals and everything seemed to just fall together. All of Sarah's preparation really helped us. We were going to have three weeks of promotion for the album then it was off to the road for at least four months on the first leg of the tour.

Today was the first day of dress rehearsals. We had all made a decision that every show would basically have the same wardrobe, but Justin and his dancers would have the option to switch it up from day to day. We were attempting to finish the dress for "My Last Name" today. Johanna came up with the idea to have the song represent a formal event of sorts. The main dress that was going to be worn for most of the shows, but then there was going to be a second dress for backup options. Of course there would be five of each dress, just in case something was to happen to them. I know me and I know that I can damage something in an instant.

The first dress we designed was a long, pink gown that was covered in crystals. It was that perfect shade of pink. With all the lights it was almost as if it was a white wedding gown. This was a top secret project we were keeping hid from Justin. We wanted his response the first night of the show. Even though we did get a response it wasn't a couple weeks from now, it was today. Justin couldn't stay out of rehearsals today.

My entrance pretty simple, I had to walk down a flight of stairs to the stage where he would be standing next to the grand piano. I thought to myself, that piano, the memories. How would I be able to look at that every night and not think about the amazing sex we had on it.

I got myself in place, the music started I stepped out onto the dark platform at the top of the stairs. The lights stay dark through the first four lines of the song before my first line starts. The moment he finished his fourth line there is a spotlight on me. I sing my first couple lines there and walk down the ten or so steps there are to the floor of the stage. By the time we were singing the first chorus together I was standing face to face with him. He is smiling ear to ear. He whispers in my ear, "You are unbelievably gorgeous" I blush of course and then we finish the song.

The second dress was a design that I had come up with it. It was a dress that Justin hadn't seen yet. The moment I saw it finished, bright tropical blue, short, one shoulder dress I knew that it was perfect. It would be a complete contrast from the other dress and would give the song just a bit of sassiness. I would surprise him one night and walk on stage in this.

It had been a long day, but it was far from over. I saw that Kia had called my phone like four times. It must be important, so I stepped outside into the bright sunlight to call her.

"Mel!"

"Hey girl, what's up?" I knew now that it wasn't bad news.

"I am so freaking excited! We just bought tickets for the New York City concert at Madison Square Garden. We are going to be there opening night!!"

"Why did you buy tickets, I would have gotten you some if I knew you were coming?"

"We wanted to buy them. It's your first show of course we are going to be there."

"It's Justin's opening night."

"It's Your Show!"

"I'm only singing one song. It's not that big of a deal."

"Hush your mouth. This is a HUGE deal."

"Ok, I guess it is pretty big of a deal... I am trying not to think about it like that."

"This is going to change your life completely. It's a step into a world that you are going to be...."

            I am not concentrating on what she is saying at all now. I see someone that looks very familiar walking towards me, someone that shouldn't be anywhere near California, someone that shouldn't be standing ten feet in front of me.

"...Kia, I... think I am going to need to call you back."

"Is everything ok?"

"I don't really know."

            There he was standing in front of me. "Matt?" I know I sounded like I was really confused, because I was. Matt was my ex that was never in love with me. The one that I spent two years with that changed his mind one day, the same person that allowed me to spend the entire weekend with his family at a family function and decided to tell me on the way home that he wasn't in love with me. "What are you doing here?"

"I am looking for you."                                        

"Why?"

"I was wrong. I lied... I am in love with you. I miss you."

"You're joking right?"

"Are you going to answer everything with a question? I am standing here telling you I love you. I flew here to bring you home."

"You have got to be kidding me. I'm not going anywhere with you, this is seriously over and done with. Two years have gone by and you're now suddenly realizing that you are in love with me..." I am beyond pissed at this point. "I think you need to leave."

"I'm not leaving without you. I am in love with you."

"I have moved on. I have found real love and I'm happy here."

"Do you really think that this guy loves you? Do you really think he knows who you really are deep down?

"I think that he knows me more than you ever did or ever will. He loves me more than you ever could."

"I don't think that's possible. I love you. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I wasn't ready for marriage or a serious relationship like the one we were having."

"That is a choice you made and it cost you, me..." I wanted to hit him. I didn't want to speak to him anymore. "Real love is more than the words I love you, I hate you, or even I'm sorry. Real love is something much deeper. It's something we never had and something you may never find."

"Don't choose this guy over me. I can make you happy. I don't have his money but I can make you happy..."

I interrupted him, "You will never make me happy. You of all people should know that money means nothing to me. I am not sure why this is now a situation with you but I think you should leave. This is over, so over."

            Before he could respond Justin walks out the back door. "Excuse me, can I help you?"

Matt rudely says, "No, you may not. I wasn't talking to you."

"I'm sorry I don't know who you are, but this is a closed set and it seems like whoever you are, you are making Melissa upset and I won't have that."

"I'm not going anywhere unless Melissa comes with me. I flew all the way here to take her home."

Justin laughs. "Who are you?"

"I'm Matt. I know who you are that's for sure."

Justin looks at me and back at him then back to me, chuckles and says, "This... this is Matt?"

"Yes." I shake my head thinking I can't believe he actually showed up here. "I have asked him to leave."

Justin looks at Matt, "I think you should leave now or I will have you removed and a restraining order against you to stay away from Melissa."

"That's what it would take to keep her with you. She loves me. She always has."

I got really angry and was screaming at this point. "MATT. I want you to leave. I told you I don't love you anymore. I told you that I am happy with Justin. LEAVE.  I am not going anywhere with you. I don't want to be with you... Go home to your daughter."

"You know that I have a daughter?"

"That's not the point. Go home."

            Lonnie and the other security was now exited the building. I honestly don't think they need to remove him from the lot, but yet I never thought he would be making the scene like he is. I turn and walk in the building. I was done dealing with him. I could feel my blood pressure rising. I was beyond pissed off at him. How dare he show up two years later and say that he loved me? How could he want to hurt me yet again? I had finally found happiness, happiness that I never had with him.

            I feel Justin's arms wrap around me. I am shaking so bad that I am crying. He whispers "I love you" in my ear. He holds me tight until he knows I am ok. I turn around and hug him and say "I love you too."

"Are you okay? Do you want to head home for the day?"

"I'm fine. I just need to calm down and I will be fine. He isn't going to put us a day behind with his stupid antics."

"Are you sure? I would be more than willing to go home with you and lay in bed." He throws out that little flirty smile that I love so much.

"As much as I would love that, we do have work to get done."

"Fun sucker."

"I know I enjoy sucking the fun out of everything. But you love me!"

"Yes, yes I do."

            I returned a phone call to Kia and explained to her what just happened. I told her that I wanted them to be in NYC for the couple days leading up to the first show, it was week of the album release as well and that there were a couple performances that I would be doing with him on television. I really needed my best friend there, and I wanted them there for the album release party. I wanted to share this with them.

            Kia wasn't aware that I had designed a dress for her to wear on the red carpet of the album release party. She was going to be so excited. Luckily I did tell her we would go shopping for a dress when she got in town.

            Even though I lived three thousand miles away from my best friend I wasn't going to lose her. I would pay for her to come out and visit every weekend if I had to. I had spoke to Stacy that same night and told her I wanted her to come to NYC and she said she couldn't get the time off work. That was normal for Stacy. I didn't take it personal at all she doesn't like to do a lot of things since her daughter died. Almost as if she doesn't think she deserves happiness. Things have gotten better over the past four years, slowly but she still isn't the person she was before she lost her.

            I was very close to her daughter, as were Steve and Kia. It's like we lost our little sister when she died. I was closer in age with her daughter than I was her. I always imagined being at her graduation, her wedding, and the birth of her children however I never thought I would attend her funeral. It may have been the hardest thing I had ever gone through. It had really taught me to keep my friends as close as I could and keep my family close because you never know what tomorrow holds.

***

            The next morning I wake up panicked and in a cold sweat from a crazy dream that I am standing on the stage at Madison Square Garden, naked, in front of a sold out crowd of 17,000 faces staring at me. I reach over to pull myself closer to Justin and there is no one there. He had left for a photo shoot about an hour before I got up.

I strolled downstairs to get coffee and start the day. He left me a note on the bright yellow post-it next to the coffee maker.

            I can't believe I am going to miss you in the studio today. I will be there in your heart. Belt it like you never have before.

P.S. I love you.

- Justin

            Underneath the note was a small very distinctive blue box, a Tiffany & Co. box. Inside was a necklace that had a diamond heart on a thin platinum chain. On the back of the heart it was engraved, I am always with you, I love you - J.

            He really knows when to do things to make me feel better. With a smile on my face, coffee in my mug, and the necklace around my neck I pick up the phone and call him. Of course Mr. OCD doesn't pick up his phone.

            A nice hot shower was what I need to wake me up and get this day started. I was nervous. I couldn't remember the song at all. I was going to fall on my face. I was going into the studio to work with Gary, Jay, and Joe Don from Rascal Flatts on the cover of "I'm Movin' On." I really hadn't thought about actually doing a cover of the song for my album until I got a phone call from Gary LeVox himself. Justin had spoke to him about maybe doing the cover and never really touched base again because he was so busy. Gary took it upon himself to get my phone number from Justin's manager and call me.  At first of course I didn't believe that it was him on the other end of the phone. He said that they would be in Los Angeles working on a new video and they had set aside a day in the studio to record the track if I was still interested. I had wanted them to do the backing vocals and the harmony backgrounds for me. I of course jumped at the opportunity and said I would be there.

I showered and was ready in record time. I heard my phone ringing in the next room. I wanted to talk to Justin before I headed down to the studio I needed to hear his voice. As I'm running I happen to forget that there is a dresser right outside of the closet heading into the bedroom. WHAM! I hit it. I was cursing as I answered that phone.

"Fuck.... Hello..." I didn't even look at the screen to see who it was. After all it was only 8am in L.A.

"Hey my sugar, how are you?"

"Steven?"

"Yes, were you expecting someone else to be calling from my phone?"

"I was running to the answer the phone, hit my leg. I am a little flustered right now."

Steve is now laughing because I hurt myself. I knew he loved me. "Sorry, I really didn't call to make fun of you. I wanted to see how Cali was treating you. I haven't talked to you in a couple weeks."

"Cali is treating me pretty well. I was a little lonely at first. After all everyone I knew was three thousand miles away but Justin has been amazing and being busy with the tour has really helped." I stopped and then I remembered he didn't know what I was getting ready to go do. "Oh my god, I didn't tell you. I am going to work with Rascal Flatts today. We are going to record a new version of one of their songs."

"That's great! I'm glad everything is going good for you." He didn't seem too thrilled. "I miss you."

"I miss you to. I wish you guys would move out here with me."

"We all don't have multi-millionaire boyfriends in California."

"If you had a multi-millionaire boyfriend I would so tell your wife."

He laughs... "Haha. You are really living out your dream. I am so proud of you."

"And to think you guys said you wouldn't approve of any guy I dated."

"Well, you found a good one. It has nothing to do with his money or what he can do for you. He is a great guy and he has stolen my sugar's heart." He seemed to really miss me. His voice had that longing to see someone sadness in his tone.

            We talked about life in Ohio and how it was going to be summer soon and we would have to go on our annual Gang vacation. Mexico or Vegas didn't count. I told him that in between the tour somehow I would manage to go.

             Driving in L.A is a little scary for me. I didn't know the area at all, and it was a big city. Luckily Justin's cars all have a GPS, which quickly became my best friend. It was weird not having Justin with me. He had been there through everything so far. I really wanted to share this with him. I grab a hold of the heart that's around my neck. He is always with me.

The guys were already in the studio when I got there. I thought maybe I was late, but I was nearly an hour early. My stomach is turning, but I knew I could do this.

Sitting down talking about what I wanted to hear from this song. I describe to them a different sound than they were used to hearing from that track. Yes I wanted the same music but I wanted it to be a little more, me. Maybe a little more guitar riffs.

Stepping into that booth and singing in the lines, "I've lived in this place and I know all the faces. Each one is different but they're always the same. They mean no harm but it's time that I face it. They'll never allow me to change..." and then "But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong." I started crying. How true was that statement? I needed to breathe. This was a reality setting in. Every line in this song was my life. I contain myself and finish the chorus.

Jon Don went into the booth to record some vocals and Jay asked me, "You have an amazing voice and are an asset to our song but why did you want to cover this song? You are not going to need a cover to make yourself successful."

"That song has lyrically been an inspiration to me for a very long time. It's has always been a song that you can listen to as life changes and apply it to the present... "I pause and think how much my life has actually changed in such a short time. "I was born in raised in Ohio, just like Gary & Jay. Falling in love with someone like Justin and living in a small town doesn't set to well. People like to gossip. I have lived every line in that song. From knowing these people I had known all my life wasn't going to let me change and finally getting to the point where I realized that home wasn't where I belonged anymore."

"We have a home girl recording a cover of our song. That's what I ..."

Gary interrupts him... "Sad thing is she will blow us away with her version. She will be a more successful artist than we ever will with that voice and stage presence."

"I don't even think that's possible. You have succeeded the expectations that I would ever have for myself." I am shaking my head. "You have this amazing fan base that will never go away."

            I go back into the booth and now Gary has joined me to do some harmony on the chorus. I see Justin walking through the door. The smile on my face is ridiculous. I am the silly little school girl and its crazy to feel like this about someone so soon. Gary looks over to me and says, "You both are so in love. When I saw him a couple months ago I knew that he was head over heels for you, just by the way he spoke about you. I better get an invite to your wedding." I have a shocked look on my face like I just saw a ghost. "Do you not think you will marry him?"

"...I... We have only been together a two months. We are not ready for marriage. Plus I don't think he will ever get married."

"Two months, seriously?"

"Seriously, I met him in Mexico just a couple months ago. Things happened fast for us."

"I would have never guessed. I figured... I thought you had been together a while by the way you both look at each other. The love you share. It's amazing to find that rare of love."

            Our love was rare. I have never seen someone find the love that we have. Maybe I was being biased about it but it was something I had never seen or felt before.

"Welcome to the Pittsburgh International Airport." I hear the attendant say overhead. I suddenly feel my stomach turning uncontrollably. We only have to get through three days here then we are off to New York for the next few weeks. I was more nervous to be heading home than I was flying to L.A and not knowing what was going to happen with Justin. I know how I felt the last couple days I was here. I knew I was going to see these people who treated me like with absolutely no respect. I keep telling myself that it will be fine... I am more worried about Justin meeting my mother. That is the biggest challenge.

            Justin is trying to get the GPS unit to work. "What are you doing?" I ask.

"I am trying to get this damn thing to work... It seems to be broken."

"We don't need the GPS here. I know the area."

"Well um.... Oh yea. I forgot and... I ... I wanted it as backup."

"Sure. You just don't trust me. I know this area pretty well"

            I am shaking my head. Justin wanted to hire a driver, but I thought it was absurd. I may not want to live here anymore but I did live here for nearly a quarter of a century. Nothing has changed majorly in at least a decade. I have only been gone a couple months.

Small town after small town finally we arrive.  He is not impressed by any means. There were no bright lights of Hollywood shining bright. There were no Mercedes' or BMW's everywhere you turned. It had been a long since he called a small town home.

            We pull up to the hotel that Justin's assistant, Mandy, has made for us. He didn't want to impose on anyone so we were staying at a hotel for the weekend. I notice a car that I am very familiar with sitting right in the parking lot, and then I see this woman with really long dark hair jump out of the truck. "Mel!!!" It's Kia; she must have been sitting here since our flight got in. "I am so excited that you are home, even if it is only for a couple days." I however wasn't so excited to be here. I was happy that I get to see everyone close to me, but there was nothing else here for me.

            "I know you guys just got in town, I know you have dinner with your mom and step father tonight... however I was wondering what you guys had planned for tomorrow?"

I looked at Justin and he shrugged his shoulders then said, "We didn't make any plans for the weekend. Whatever comes up!" with the smirk on his face I interrupted him, "What do you want to do Ms. Kia?"

"Well... my mom and her friends have these amazing tickets for a concert tomorrow, but now they are not going. They said I could have them. I would really like you guys to come with Steve and me."

"Sure, it's fine with me. Where is it and who is playing?"

"It's at Post Gazette and Rascal Flatts of course!"

"Shut up."

"No, you shut up."

"I was just in the studio with them last week. They are amazing guys."

"Why did you not tell me about this?"

"Well I mentioned it to Steve but I wasn't making a big deal out of it until I saw how the song came out..." I turn to Justin, "Can we go?"

He looks at me weird, "Why wouldn't we be able to?"

"Can you go without being mobbed by crazy people?"

"Oh, I didn't even think about that. I will have my manager call and have security in place."

            Kia is extremely happy now, beaming from ear to ear. She was never a country music fan. I have opened her up to a lot of music she never liked before. She always called me ‘a know it all' because no matter what song was on the radio, I would know the lyrics to the song. "I will let you go now. It's great to see you! We will pick you up in the morning here... how's like one o'clock and we will do lunch then head up to tailgate and bring food to make dinner." I told her that all sounded great and that I would stop and pick up the food to cook on the grill. She argued with me of course because this is something she wanted to do for us but I had to go to the store anyways I would handle it.

            Just then my phone rang, saved by the bell. She said she had to leave anyway, she had to work afternoon shift. I look at the caller ID...

"Hello, Ms. I never answer my phone." I say with sarcasm.

"Sorry sorry, I just got off work. You know have crazy they are about cell phones there. How the heck are you?

"I was great until I landed at the Pittsburgh International airport about an hour ago."

"What? You're in town?"

"The devil is back in town!"

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see my mom and everyone before I left for Justin's tour. It's going to be a very busy couple months... What are you doing tonight? I would like to at least stop and have a beer or something."

"I don't have any plans, I have to work in the morning."

"Well I have dinner with my parents at 5... I will stop after that, is that ok?

"It doesn't matter what time I am just excited to see you... oh crap... there is going to be people over here, Mike invited people over for a cook out and some drinks, is that ok?"

"I don't care."

"Well just making sure, you are dating the biggest celebrity in the world."

"Shit, I didn't even think of that. I always forget that he isn't just Justin. It will be fine."

            Dinner with my mother and step-father went much better than I could have imagined. I was worried they would say something stupid, embarrass me or something that would leave me horrified. I guess that's the chance you take when you bring someone home to meet the family. They welcomed him in with open arms and were generous to say the least.

            My niece made me laugh hysterically when she walked through the door. I guess she never really knew who I was dating. She knew I was dating Justin but I guess she never put the idea together. She was after all only ten. She walked through that door and all you heard was a very high pitched squeal. She stopped in her tracks and just stared at him and finally said, "You... you... you are... Justin... Timberlake..." Justin replied with a simple, "Hi, I'm Justin. It's very nice to meet you Morgan." She sat and stared at him for the longest time. It was so cute because he sat there and just talked to her. She would be the coolest ten year old in school now.           

"Honey, I'm HOOMMMEEE!!!!" I walk into Stacy's house without even knocking. We never knock on each other's door. We lock our doors if we're having sex or doing something we don't want people to walk in on.

"Oh my god! I can't believe you are here!!!" She seemed very happy to see me and Justin, "It's great to see you again Justin. I hope this small town doesn't corrupt you?"

He laughs, "It's doubtful. I have lived in L.A. for too long."

"Well, let's go out back. Introduce Justin to our friends. Everyone is out there."

I whisper in his ear, "I'm sorry right now before we even get out there..." He just laughs.

            Everyone was there, everyone that I spent the last five years of my life with. Bob is the most conservative one but is also the most outspoken. He is the first to say anything... "We'll look who we have here. The big time California girl! How the heck are you girl? I have missed you." He hugs me and then I introduce him to Justin and Bob was very nice to him. All my friends are very protective so it's difficult for them to realize that I found someone outside of our little circle of friends to date. They had to expect it, come on now everyone else was married.

            My friends were amazing to say the least. They were always there through the good and the bad. No matter what is going on in their lives if someone is needed they run to them. That was the case five years ago when we all lost Megan and it has never stopped. Her death made us all step back and look at life from a different perspective. At least that's what I thought.

            Everyone seems to be having a good time. We were all having a beer and talking about stupid things we have done. Let's inform Justin how stupid I can be sometimes, sounds like a great time. I leave Justin to fend for himself, while I run in the house to use the restroom. I hear two female voices outside the door, like it is coming from the kitchen.

"... I love that she thinks she is some big celebrity now. She is dating this guy that will probably leave her for the next hot chick that comes his way... She is so full of herself now, what happened to the Mel that used to know?..."

            I am flabbergasted when I realize whose voice that is. I can't believe the words that are coming out of her mouth. Had I really changed? I really didn't think I had, at least not in a bad way. What did I say that would make them think I have changed? I mentioned being in the recording studio... being in L.A. but only things that they asked about. Was it that I was actually happy and in love and they both have loveless marriages? Were they jealous for some reason? I stand for a minute in the bathroom then there is a knock on the door. In a sad, hurt voice I say, "I will be right out." The door opens immediately. Stacy walks in, "Mel, what's wrong."

"Nothing. I just think I am going to leave."

"I know there is something wrong, I can hear it in your voice. Do you want me to get Justin?"

"No, I will go back out there but then I am leaving. I had a bad feeling this trip would hurt me more than it would be good."

"What happened?"

"Nothing, let's just say jealousy is all around us today."

            I thought for a moment that I should turn into a complete bitch. I should show them a new me that they are so sure I had turned into but why should I give them that kind of satisfaction. There is someone new to this little get together. I wasn't sure who she even was, but she was sitting in my seat. I sat on Justin's lap, he must have felt how tense I was because he leaned up to me and asked if I was ok. I whispered back yes, but we have to get going soon.

Suddenly this unknown person who introduces herself as Amber, looks to Justin, "So, Justin, what's it like being the biggest celebrity in the world and to have everyone at your beck and call?" This was extremely rude of her. No one has treated him any different until she got here. Justin looked embarrassed and gave her a confused look and I spoke before he could have the chance to.

"It's quite difficult for him to be the biggest celebrity in the world since according to you and Jessica I am the biggest celebrity in the world now. I am an ungrateful bitch who is so caught up in myself that I can't see that my boyfriend doesn't love me and is only with me because I am... what was it again?, just another hot chick that walked by him." I am fuming now. I should have just kept my mouth shut but I wanted them to know I heard everything they said.

Everyone is like stunned in their seats. Of course there are only two people that know exactly what I am talking about. Bob looks at me and everyone else "Excuse me, what just happened? Did I miss something?"

"Well Bob, you wife and her little friend here, Amber were having a nice little conversation about me in the kitchen. Little did they know I was in the restroom just feet away. I heard everything they said. Funny thing is, the only selfish ungrateful people, are the two people sitting in the seats with their jaws hitting the floor because they know they are wrong. I think the person that has changed is you Jessica. I thought you were a friend. I guess you learn who your friends are the hard way. I can't believe you would think that I had changed. I am still the same person. Maybe I am a little more confident or whatever but I am still Mel." I just shake my head. I was over being here and dealing with her and her issues. I turned to Justin and told him I think we should leave; our warm welcoming wasn't so warm anymore. He was kind of stunned he has never seen my snap on someone like that.

Bob turns to Jessica and says, "What the fuck?" she doesn't respond, she is pissed that I called her out. She got up and went into the house.

"I'm sorry to ruin everyone's night, I shouldn't have came. It was nice to see everyone... well almost everyone. Maybe when Justin's show comes to town I will get to see some of you."

"I am so sorry Mel, I had no idea. I can't believe my wife said those things. Please know that she is completely wrong and know that we all love you dearly. We miss having you here."

"Thanks, I appreciate that. Her words hurt, but I guess you live and learn."

            Justin finally chimes in, "You shouldn't have to learn like that." Everyone around us agreed.

Getting used to the time difference is very hard. I couldn't fall asleep last night and this morning I just couldn't get out of bed. My body had adjusted to west coast time. Justin is usually the one laying in the bed trying to snuggle as long as possible, not this morning he is up and reading the paper, drinking a cup of coffee. That paper is very noisy.

I was still sleeping I think when I asked, "What time is it?"

"Just a little after nine. You don't have to get up."

"I want you to come back to bed with me." I raise my eyebrows and give him a little smirk. No sooner than I stop smiling he leaps across the room strips naked and jumps under the covers with me. Wraps his arms around me and snuggles, wiggling his way to get comfortable.

"This is the best feeling in the world."

He laughs, "This is great, but I... I know something that is better!"

"Oh, really?"

"Let me show you a thing or two..."

            He slides under the covers and kisses me all the way down my chest... my stomach...the further south he goes the sensation and tingle in my stomach gets better. He was talented at many things and this... this is one of them. He couldn't wait any longer, I could feel him rock hard against my leg as he leaned up, he was ready to teach me something else.

            We really couldn't stay in bed all day, as great as that sounded. We were headed to see Rascal Flatts at a venue I had been to for hundreds of concerts. I was excited. We were on my stopping grounds now.

We arrive at the local Wal-Mart to get some food and snacks to tailgate. The greeter at the door, an older woman with gray hair and way too much makeup on, she asks me how my day is going and tells me the weather is beautiful today. It's strange to have someone just simply ask how your day is. People don't do that anymore.

            There were a lot of whispers and "Oh my god's..." but for the most part no one bothered Justin in the store. I wanted him to feel comfortable out of L.A and out of the reach of his security. This was the first outing or trip that he hasn't had Lonnie next to him at all times. He felt like a big kid now. There were a few people that asked for his autograph and he would smile and talk to them.

We turn into the alcohol aisle. Concentration is key here, alcohol is very important. You have to have all the right things to tailgate. I thought I heard someone call my name but I wasn't sure. Then I heard "Melissa?" again. I knew I wasn't hearing things this time. I turned around and there stood a beautiful petite blonde woman. Dressed in a dark blue dress suit, I see someone I haven't seen in a very long time. "Lara? I haven't seen you in almost ten years.... How are you?"

"I'm not doing so well. I'm in town for my brother's funeral."

"I'm so sorry to hear that." I can't seem to escape death. It seems to follow me.

"He couldn't handle it anymore. He took his own life."

I felt a knot in my stomach get so tight. The feeling of loosing someone to suicide was something you never get over. You learn to deal with everyday, and each day it seems to get easier to get through the days. It had been five years since we lost Megan, and there are still days I can't even say her name. I didn't ask any questions about his death. I knew that I didn't want anyone asking me when I went through it.

"Wow" is all I could say at first... "I am so sorry."

"I thought he was doing fine. He had gone through a rough divorce six months ago but he said he was doing better. I am not sure why he thought this was the answer to his problem. Now his children have lost their father...."

I couldn't have this conversation with her anymore. I couldn't talk about death and suicide. It touched a nerve. Justin must have seen the look on my face or the fact that I had turned pale. He walked back over to me and grabbed my hand, whispered, "Are you ok?" I nodded and he just continued to hold my hand. I was glad he hadn't heard what she was saying. I didn't want him to have to deal with losing Sarah again.

"I'm sorry I'm rambling..." she said "On brighter notes, how are you?"

"I'm doing well. I live in Los Angeles now I couldn't stand living here anymore."

"I know what you mean. I have lived in New York City now for nearly five years. I moved there for medical school and that's where I will do my residency. I absolutely love it there. It's defiantly a different world then here." She looks at me then looks at the tall curly dark haired guy standing next to me... "Is this your husband? Wait, you look very familiar... are you Justin Timberlake?"

"No he is not my husband, but yes this is Justin. Sorry I am rude, I was worried about you rather than introducing you to him."

"Justin Timberlake, the celebrity? The guy we saw in concert a dozen times?" Justin reached his hand out to shake her hand. She was shaking. "Hi, I'm Justin Timberlake. It's really nice to meet you."

"You're joking right. I have to be seeing things. This is your husband?"

"No, were not married. But we are together."

"I saw pictures of you in like Mexico or something. I remember standing in the grocery store cash-out line telling my husband that the female looked so familiar but I didn't think that it was you. Even with the name on there I never thought he would be dating someone I graduated high school with. This is crazy."

"Oh yes, I remember those pictures..." those pictures that changed my life as I knew it. "Well I really hate to run but we are headed to Post Gazette for a concert. We are only in town until tomorrow. It was great to see you. Again, I am sorry about your loss."

            She thanked me for the condolences and left. I couldn't shake the feeling of all that pain I had dealt with when Megan died. It shows that no matter how much time passes, it stays with you. I felt the lump in my throat start to build. My eyes filled with tears. He asked if I was ok, I told him I was I just simply needed a minute to collect my thoughts. He wrapped his arms around me and let me stand there for a minute. Maybe I hadn't dealt with Megan's death as I thought I had. It seems to be affecting me more every day.

            We finished our shopping and returned to the hotel and to my surprise Kia and Steve were waiting for us. They are never on time, let alone early.

"Wow aren't we are a little early. What's with being on time?" I laugh and Kia gives me a dirty look.

"Well we were trying to make a good impression on your boyfriend, but since you just blew my cover. Screw that... we are getting wasted today!!!"

"I have a surprise for you..."

"What's that?"

"We have a driver!"

"What? Who?"

"I hired someone."

"Why did you do that?"

"So we can all drink pretty heavy or in your words, GET WASTED!!! And not have to worry about driving."

"Well let's go so we can start drinking!"

            Finally after an hour and a half wait for lunch a quick shopping trip to get Kia & myself a cowboy hat we arrived at Post Gazette pretty early. The parking lot had just started to fill up. Justin doesn't seem too impressed with the parking lot. I honestly don't think he has ever been on this side of the world. He has always been the one backstage getting ready for the show or the sound check. This was something new for him. There are women walking around in bathing suit tops, men in shorts and no shirts, and then there were people already drunk and falling over. Those are the ones you tried to avoid at all cost.

             We had four hours before the show. My phone rings, I look at the name and smile

"Hello"

"Hey, this is Jay. I wanted to let you know that the track is finished they mastered it this morning. I am going to mail you a copy."

"Oh well, I am not in L.A. I will be in NYC for at least a week."

"That's fine I will have them send it overnight to Justin's apartment on Monday."

"Sounds great. I'm excited to hear it."

"It turned out great. I hate to cut this call short but we are about to go do sound check, we have a show tonight."

"Oh ok, have a great show. See you soon."

            I hung up the phone. Kia asked who called.

"It was Jay, from Rascal Flatts!"

"Why didn't you tell him you were at his show?"

"Justin wanted to be a fan at the show today. He is attempting to be normal, I'm respecting that."

"Well you know we are in the PIT, they are going to see you."

"I guess I will deal with it then."

            A crowd slowly gathered around us. We had flip cup challenges, with nearly fifty people. That's a record of some sort for us. The only problem with the game is you're chugging beer, which means you get drunk really quick. I am a very touchy feely person when I am drinking, even more than normal. Justin is just as touchy feely if not more than I am.

            We were supposed to be in a round of flip cup but I ended up pressed against a random car and Justin leaning against me. Kissing him only makes me want to do more than kiss him. We have to stop ourselves a couple times because there are hundreds of people surrounding us taking pictures. All he needs is to have some pictures worse than us kissing on the internet.

By the time we went in, we had a very nice level of intoxication. Of course in this venue we have to sign in and get wrist bands for the pit. Kia goes first, and then I step up there. The girl looks at me, says "I need you photo ID." I handed it to her then she whispered something to the girl next to her. Being that I had a lot of alcohol in my system I just gave her a confused look and with an attitude I said, "Is there a problem?"

"No, I just can't believe your standing in front of me right now."

"Why is that?"

"Well you like famous..."

"Um no" I pointed behind me, "that would be my boyfriend..."

"Fuck... Justin Timberlake..."

"Yes, I have that privileged." I laugh because the drunken part of me thought that was hilarious.

Justin steps up to the window, signs in and hands her the ID and says "Is this all we need to do, we would like to get to our seats and get another beer."

"Yes, Mr. Timberlake that's all."

            I am laughing... "Mr. Timberlake..."

"It's Justin but thanks." I don't know how he is pretending to be so sober. I know he isn't.

            He slaps my ass as we are walking into the reserved seating section. I jump and run to get out of his reach but he catches up, he is holding me as if he never wanted to let go. I loved how affectionate he always was with me. Kia was behind us and she says to Steve, "I love how happy they are together. She is truly happy with him."  Steve agrees and I turn around and look right at her and smile to let her know I heard her.

            There was an opening act, which I don't remember who it was. However before Rascal Flatts came on I had sobered up a little. I could focus on everything around me. As the lights go down the roar of the crowd is unbelievable. I whisper in Justin's ear, "That feeling must never get old." He leaned over and said, "It never does. You will feel it soon."

            The first couple songs had gone by and they were all walking around the stage now. It was in between songs. I see Jay walk right in front of us he is in a serious conversation and stops dead in his tracks, points at me... I think and say out loud, fuck. "What are you doing in Burgettstown?" I gesture like I have no clue what he is talking about. Then Jon Don sees that it's me and goes... "Ladies and Gentleman we have a very special guest in the house tonight, Melissa Roberts, oh and Justin Timberlake is here as well." Everyone seemed too gasped at that moment. Suddenly there were twenty thousand people staring at the back of our heads. I shake my head and they realize that I want them to continue with their show, take the focus off of me and Justin. I had turned red, I was so embarrassed.

            After the amazing show we stayed behind. Security had circled around us. The crowd was not leaving. They all wanted to meet Justin. Finally they escorted us all backstage. That was the moment that I thought it was going to get out of hand, I was apologizing to Justin. I wasn't doing so well with him being just normal but it all ended well.

La Guardia airport seemed like it was fourteen hours from Justin's apartment. The flight wasn't long enough to sleep but it wasn't short enough to be comfortable. I wanted to sleep the rest of the day away, however that isn't going to happen. There was a lot that needed done. Racks of clothing should be arriving today which I have to go through and find outfits for two weeks of promotion.

Being in Ohio for the last couple days had really showed me I didn't belong there. If I didn't already know, I knew now. I wanted to see so many people but I simply didn't have the time. The one person I wanted Justin to meet was Aaron. However he was out of town on business. He promised he would make sure he was in town when the tour stopped in Pittsburgh. This was my life now, and I was happy about that.

            I walked into Justin's apartment to find twenty racks full of clothing, five huge boxes of shoes and a chest of jewelry. I shake my head and think to myself, I am never going to be able to go through all of this tonight, and I don't know where to start. My brain seems to be in shutdown mode. I need to remember to talk to whoever put this together. The clothing should have been at the very least separated but it wasn't, nothing had been done with any of these racks.

Justin is carrying in our luggage and nearly falls over the boxes I am trying to move them. I attempted to stop him but it was too late. He is stopped in his tracks by all of the clothing in his main foyer. "I thought they were going to be organized when they were sent over? We will never get this organized tonight."

"Yeah I thought it was supposed to be organized as well."I step over the boxes, "I will handle it, and I will get it organized. You have too much on your plate to even think about this tonight."

"If you have to get all of this organized you won't be able to go to dinner with everyone else, I want you to be there." It's almost like he is stomping his feet like a child.

"Hun, this is my job. I want to be at that dinner but this has to be done first. If not you will be naked for all of your interviews this week."

"I'm not opposed to that."

"Haha. Well I don't really want the world to see my boyfriend stark ass naked... I like having that privileged information."

He jumps over all the boxes, swings me around, "I guess I will need some clothes then... Why can't I simply wear William Rast jeans and a tee? That's simple and free!"

"Well the label won't approve of you going to an awards show in a tee. As sexy as I think it is, it's not going to happen."

Pouting his beautiful lips and staring at me with those beautiful blue eyes I cave in. I agree to get as much as I could do and then finish the rest tonight or in the morning. The next couple weeks I wasn't going to get much sleep so I had better get used to it.

Four hours later we are arriving at Southern Hospitality, which is a complete mob scene. It had been set up like a red carpet event. I was under the impression that this was going to be dinner for everyone at Jive, Justin's management company, and everyone that worked on the album. As I look outside the limo, the place is crawling with press. I suddenly got very nervous. The butterflies in my stomach make me very jittery.

Everyone that Justin trusts most in the world is in this limo. They are all dressed to impressed. Now I wish I would have had more time to get ready. He leans over and whispers in my ear "You look absolutely stunning tonight..." as he is kissing my cheek and my neck, "Thanks" I say as I blush. He still makes me blush. "I want to slide that dress up over your hips, pull you to the edge of this seat and show you how amazing you make me feel..." I nudged him... "I love you". Now that everyone has turned to look at us and I feel a dozen pair of eyes staring at me, I am embarrassed. If I wasn't red before, I am now. A red face doesn't go very well with this dress.

As much as I thought I would feel out of place in a room for of celebrities, I actually felt comfortable. It was weird talking to people that I seemed to know a lot about however they didn't know anything about me. I had met nearly every person there but I spent most of the night talking to Carrie Underwood. She and I were so much a like it was scary. Of course she was the blonde bombshell and I had the chocolate brown hair but our personalities were very similar. Her husband Mike was at the party somewhere, she had lost him almost the moment they walked in.

            Its 2am when we arrive back at the apt and I know that nothing is going to get done if I went to bed. I couldn't hold my eyes open but this was my job, at least that's what I kept telling myself. I finished getting everything done around 6am and I crawled into bed. Justin had been up at least four times to see if I needed help and I kept telling him that he needed to sleep I would be fine. Demanding him to go to bed is not an easy task.

            Needless to say when we arrive at the first appointment of the day a mere 4 hours later, coffee was my new best friend. We wouldn't be back in that apartment for hours. Twelve hours to be exact. And the moment I walked in the door I stripped off any unnecessary clothing and jumped into bed. I don't remember lying on the bed at all, but that's where I woke up.

****

Eight straight days of media and press and the album had been released for 4 hours. Today however would be a huge day for me. My first ever performance will take place on the Today Show. It will be the first place anyone will hear me sing "My Last Name" live. To say I was nervous was an understatement.

            Kia and Steve had arrived late last night and were planning on being at the show this morning. It's four in the morning and we have already been up for an hour. We are heading down to do sound check. I don't know a lot about the city but I do know that we were at least three city blocks away from the studio and I could see the streets were full of people. I never thought for a moment that they would be lined up for Justin already. Maybe I was a little naive, but as we passed them in the dark tinted SUV I noticed they were all decked out in their JT apparel and their signs. I am an emotional wreck because this, this made me cry.  Justin rolls down his window and all of a sudden everyone notices that it's him. How I'm not sure because it is still very dark. They are screaming and chanting his name, he looks over at me and says, "This is why I do what I do... that feeling is amazing."

            I am in the green room trying to get my voice to be where it needs to be. I start singing a song that always warms up my vocals. Thanks to Amy Lee and her amazing pipes if I match her I know I am good. Stepping on that stage and seeing all those faces just a couple feet away from me, I got a little nervous. Ok so I wanted to run back in the building and not come back out... but I did it. I stepped up there and as the music started I was fine. Maybe it was the initial shock of everything. Millions upon millions will be watching me in just a few short hours, and I hope I won't be making a fool out of myself or Justin.

            I return to the dressing room to find my two dearest friends in the world waiting for me. They look like they are still asleep. I see someone sitting on the couch, it's someone I know.

"Mom?"

"Yes."

I start to cry. The tears are streaming down my face now. "You are here, here in NYC." I ran over to hug her. She was here in NYC for my very first performance. She never flies. She hates to fly. I am shocked to see her here.

"I couldn't miss this. It's your first ever performance."

"Thank You." It's all I could manage to get out.

"Justin actually convinced me to come. I was going to drive, but I know I would have never survived a car ride for 8 hours. He said he promised me that everything would turn out ok and there was nothing to worry about."

            I turn to Justin and now I am a crying fool... "I love you. Thank You!"

"What am I, chopped liver?" Steve feels a little unimportant.

"Awe, Steven I am ecstatic that you are here. My day wouldn't have been complete without you here." I wasn't lying. I was so happy to have people that would want to fly to a different state just to see me sing one song.

            When the show begins I feel the nausea in my stomach to start again. The nerves were getting the best of me. The stage was set and the crowd was there and before I knew it, all of it was over. We were heading to breakfast with everyone and the first every performance was over.

            Hours after the performance I still felt sick. The last thing I needed was to be sick the week the tour starts. I didn't have time to really think about this damn cold that was coming on. There was too much to do today, after all is was album release day.

            We returned to the apartment and I feel no sign of being sick anymore as he closes the door behind us and starts kissing my neck, a major weakness for me. Before I could hesitate, which it's highly doubtful I would have, we were stripping clothing off and using our time wisely. I lived for these moments, simple tenderness that leads to ecstasy.

            Lying in bed we ponder over the performance this morning. I think I did a good job. I watched the play back at least twenty times. He is staring at me, I don't like when someone is like a twelve inches from my face and not saying anything, just staring. Finally I say "What?"

"I am so proud of you."

"Well I know that was pretty good however I didn't expect you to be proud of it. I little more moving of the hips on your part and it would have been perfect."

"You did not..." He jumps on top of me. "...just say that."

"I did, sorry."

"I know my hips were moving at the perfect pace because you came, what one no two, no that's right three times..."

"Okay okay, it was perfect..." as I am rolling my eyes.

"Damn right it was..." He is look down at me, "I am proud of you and your performance this morning. It was perfect."

"Thank you. I can't wait to perform it as MSG. Let's just hope I remember the lyrics then."

"You will and you will blow that crowd away the way you did today. Johnny pulled me aside after lunch today and said that he had at least twenty five phone calls in just a couple hours asking who you were and when you will have music releasing... it's only a matter of time now."

"Seriously? I am surprised that someone was interested. I mean I know why you are. I give you sex but these people don't even know me."

"You seriously don't know how talented you are. It's a good thing, don't get me wrong but you need to give credit where credit is due."

"Yea, I know."

"I think you say that sometimes hoping to convince yourself."

Changing the subject, "We have to shower now, the hair and makeup people will be here in ten minutes."

"Let's not go, let's stay in bed."

"Justin Randall Timberlake, get your naked behind in that shower... and I will join you."

"Now I am interested!"

            He won't admit this to me but I can tell he is nervous. It's been a long time since he released an album. All the attention is back on him and his music. Until the numbers come in tonight for the first day's sales he is going to be a wreck. The next couple hours he will get very quiet and keep to himself. I may have only been with him a couple months but I knew him well enough to know how he acts when he is nervous.

            As I am reading the reviews for the album while they were starting my hair and makeup, he was pacing back and forth through the room. He wouldn't even look at the reviews. There wasn't one bad review. Well one that counted anyways. All of them said it was his best album to date, that the time that had passed was worth the wait for an album this great. There were even a couple amazing reviews for "My Last Name" which shocked me.

Kia arrived shortly after they started my makeup, she was so mad because the dress she bought at home was all wrinkled and was  a mess and she didn't have time to get a new dress. She came in that room steaming mad.

"I told you not to buy a dress until you got here."

"Well I know but being that our flight was not coming in until real late last night I figured I wouldn't have time to find a dress today. I just bought a simple black dress, even though it cost me an arm and a leg. Let's not tell Steve how much I paid for that dress."

I am laughing now, that's something we always joked about. Steve was a stickler for money. He liked to save every penny. "Kia, I have something for you. It's something I have been working on for a long time." I handed her a black dress bag that said ‘Yves Saint Laurent/Melissa Roberts' in white letters.

"Is this your dress for tonight?"

"No honey. Read the note attached."

                        Kia,

You are the most amazing person I have ever met me in my life. I am lucky enough to not only know you but to be lucky enough to call you my friend, my sister, my other half. This is for you. A small gratitude for how much I love you. I will never know someone as great as you in my entire life. I love you.

                                                                                                            Mel

            Kia is crying. She opens the bag and finds a floor length, one-shoulder strap, pink satin gown that is covered in chiffon and crystals. It's gathered to give her the affect of having a full chest area. It's stunning at say the least. There is a pair of amazing Yves Saint Laurent heels that have been picked out for her. Not to mention we have diamonds everywhere that have been barrowed for tonight. Finally she is able to speak, "This... is for me?"

"Yes. It was designed exclusively for you, shoes and everything."

"I don't know what to say... other than thank you."

"That's all you have to say... well maybe you could also say that is beautiful."

"I can't say that... it doesn't give it enough justice. It's gorgeous. Thank you sooo much! I will never be able to pay you back for this."

"That's not necessary. I wanted you to have this dress for tonight. The dress is on me. There is also a tux in the other bag for Steven, if he wants to wear it."

"He is actually out shopping trying to find something to wear right now."

"Well stop him because there is a $4,000 suit in that bag waiting for him."

"$4,000... are you serious? How much did that dress cost?"

"Don't worry about it."

            There we were all sitting in the Limo in the press line waiting for it to be our turn to get out. All this press was going to be a nightmare. I agreed that I would walk the red carpet with him. He wanted this to be our first public appearance together. It was highly doubtful that he would actually say this is my girlfriend but he wanted me there for the entire event. I needed a drink and I needed it now.

            The limo arrives at the stopping point.  The door opens and Justin slides out of his seat then reaches for my hand. I step on leg out of the limo; the high slit on my dress exposes my entire leg as I stand upright the slit doesn't appear to be so revealing but stepping out of the vehicle it sure did. The dress looked amazing with his tuxedo. We were a little over dressed for an album release party. The label had made sure to inform everyone that it was a black tie event but they seemed to not have listened. If this were Diddy's White Party in the Hamptons they wouldn't be allowed through the doors. Justin doesn't seem to care though, he is simply happy to finally have the album released and to have me with him through every step of it.

New York City.

                        Madison Square Garden.

                        The feeling of standing on that stage is a rush and it was only sound check. I wasn't sure I would get through this night without screwing up something. I had one song to sing and I was this nervous. Justin had to sing and play thirty songs and he was calm. He has done this a couple thousand times. This wasn't new to him. "Breathe Hun, you will be fine." That's easy for you to say, these people could very easily boo me right off that stage. They already like you. They have paid money to see you, not his girlfriend.

            I couldn't get my mark right. There was a piece of tape on the floor and I still couldn't do it correctly. I would open my month to sing and there would be nothing there. "Fuck." I was beyond frustrated. "You are going to have to cut this song from the set list tonight. I can't do it." I walk back up the steps to get my place again and the heel snaps. Can you actually believe that a twelve hundred dollar pair of shoes would snap so easily? I am glad I didn't pay of that shoe because I would be irate. This was a sample of what was going to happy tonight.

            Before I could even say anything Justin is attempting to calm me down in his understanding and sympathetic voice as it echoes through the venue, but it's not working. "Breathe, it's going to be fine. You have nailed this performance countless times in rehearsal, on the today show, and you will nail it again tonight and every show after this one." What was wrong with me today? "I am not cutting this song out of the set so you better suck it up girl. You can do this, I know you can." He knows that I am stressing beyond belief about this. I need to relax.  "Listen to me...Melissa, listen" I am shaking my head wanting to scream. "Pretend it's me and you sitting at the piano at home, singing to one other."

"Can't I just imagine you naked?"

He winks at me, "Well that can be arranged... I actually would prefer that option!"

"I bet you would."

"Were done here, there is no point in stressing over this. We will make it work tonight."

            All of our family and friends were sitting in that backstage green room. Mine were all here to see me perform, let's hope I don't screw up. As nervous as I had been the entire day, I was ready for it to be here and get it over with.

            The time seemed to go from tick, tick, tick to ‘Fifteen minutes to Showtime!" Justin was dressed and ready to go. Five minutes before he was to be on stage I left him by himself so he could get his thoughts together and prepare himself. I was going to sit in the audience with my family and friends. I wanted to see the wardrobe from the audience. I knew what time I had to be back so I could be ready for my performance. I tell Justin to have a great show and enjoy every moment of it then security escorted me to my seat. It was so crowded and dark I don't think anyone would even notice me sneaking to my seat however security wouldn't allow that. I don't think anyone would notice me anyways. They were being over cautious.

            The lights dim darker then it turns pitch black. Justin is opening the show from below the stage. Then he will appear on the very end of the catwalk when the lights finally turn on. I know its coming but I try not to make it obvious. Then you hear, "She's freaky but I like it... " the lights focus on where he is standing. The crowd is screaming. The sound gives me goose bumps. He doesn't sing for a moment, he is taking in that sound as well. He is standing in the spotlight like a silhouette, standing perfectly still. I felt like I was a teenager again screaming at him. I go right back into being the fan of his music. The only difference is that I am the one going home with him at the end of the night.

            There are a couple moments when I know he is looking at me and singing to me, and I love it. The sexiest thing a guy can do is sing to me. After the person beside me sees him singing to me she realizes who I am. "Are you Melissa Roberts?" I look at Kia; my eyes are huge and think shit how am I going to get out of this one.

"No honey you must have me confused with someone else."

"No, your Melissa Roberts, I have seen thousands of pictures of you and Justin. You have a very distinctive face, you're very pretty. I thought I read somewhere that you are performing tonight?"

I was caught there was nothing I could do. "I am, shortly."

"I knew it was you. I thought that was you when you were walking out here but I couldn't believe that you would be sitting right beside me. Justin seems like he is a different person with you..." I have the defensive face on now, "No, no I mean that in a good way. He seems to be happy in love now instead of depressed, almost as if he found his other half."

"Thank you. I appreciate that. It's almost as if it's a compliment to me."

"Oh, it is. You have really made him happy and I don't even get to see your personal day to day lives."

            Very quickly there are bright yellow shirts around me telling me I have to leave. I am going to have a talk with security because I am going to sit in on many shows. They are simply going to have to get used to people talking to me. She was very nice and polite there was no harm done. Luckily it's time for me to leave anyways. I have to miss my favorite part of the show to get my dress on, my hair finished, and the stage makeup. It's only a matter of minutes now and I will be on stage at Madison Square Garden in front of thousands and thousands of people. I felt the excitement run through my body.

            I stand behind the stairs that lead up to the platform I need to be on. I can see the crowd. They are enjoying every moment that he is on stage. I drop my head and pray for a moment. I don't normally pray however I needed some kind of higher power to help me out a little right now. Slowly I walk up the steps with the help of three stage hands that are hoping I don't rip the dress with the heels I have on or heaven forbid I break another heel.

            I was in place. The stage was dark. His music starts. This was it; I was going to do it. Suddenly the spotlight is on me and the stage is dark again. The moment I let out that first note, which is extended more than it is on the track, the crowd is super quiet. At first I was thinking, ‘Oh Shit' but then the crowd roared. I now know that feeling that Justin said I would know. It was indescribable. I stood there for a moment forgetting that I had to start the verse.

            I am suddenly in the moment when I met Justin on the plane, that smile when I looked up at him. I'm in the bar and the taste of that very first kiss. Those beautiful blue eyes that gazed back at me standing in the rain waiting for the door to open... falling in love with the amazing person he is. I snapped out of my moment and thankfully Kevin adjusts the music and I chime in as if nothing is wrong. I slowly walk down the stairs and end up standing next to Justin and he is staring directly into my eyes. I feel that lump in my throat. I was officially an emotional wreck. Even though I have heard the line, "I can see you in the white dress, the train full of lace, hair swept back, and you taking my last name" a hundred times I feel my voice start to shake as he reaches slowly to embrace my face, rubbing my check ever so slightly. Twenty thousand people may have been staring at us in that moment but I didn't feel anyone else in the room; it was simply Justin and I. He was right, I needed to relax and pretend it was the two of us. It worked. As we finished the song he leans and kisses my forehead and whispers ‘I love you.' Could this man be any more perfect? We turn away from each other and face the crowd. They are screaming so loud. They must have liked it.

            I walk off of the stage and felt this incredible high. The stage director is running towards me. "You were phenomenal, that was... epic. You have to see the video of it. Congratulations!" "Thanks" It's all that I could say as he is running back to his station. I had never been this speechless in my life.

            I was planning on returning to my seat to finish watching the show but security had frowned about that idea however I don't listen very well. I threw on the hat Justin was wearing earlier, changed into different clothes and went back out there. I had to see the rest of the show. I grabbed my phone and headed to the sound booth. Security can bite my ass. No one would see me back there.

            There was fifteen text messages on my phone from my mom, Kia, and Steve all saying ‘Congrats' and then there was one from Lynn that made me cry. "Congratulations on an amazing performance. You are more talented than you ever give yourself credit for. I can't wait until I can officially call you my daughter someday. I love you."

            I was not expected her to refer to me as her daughter. That was the last thing that would have crossed my mind. Rachel and I had a conversation about parents of significant others the week I arrived in L.A., she had said many things but the line I always kept in my head was "Having Lynn's respect is going to be the most challenging part of your relationship with Justin. She has seen her son get hurt more than anyone could ever imagine. She hasn't respected any of them enough to want her son to marry them." Had he talked to his mother about asking me to marry him? What this something he had thought about? I am thinking crazy now, we are not ready for marriage. I am reading too much into this text message.

            I left the sound booth and returned to the green room before the last song had ended. I had the alcohol on ice and everything ready. I was going to blast Justin with the Champagne as he walk through those doors. All of the dancers were instructed to come straight into this dressing room. They were slowly come in now. Justin is the last to leave the stage and he always stops and leaves his microphone before he gets into the dressing room to shower. His entire band, dancers, managers, friends, and family were standing behind me ready to spray him the moment that door opened.

            I shook that bottle is hard as I could and blasted him as he walked through that door. I did however fail to see the amazing bouquet of red roses that he was carrying in his left arm. Everyone is screaming ‘Congratulations!' He is embarrassed, and turns all red. He walks over to me and says, "Well these are for you, I don't think the champagne got on them. You did an amazing job tonight. I am so proud of you. I love you." leans in and kisses me then says, "Now who organized this little gang up on Justin event?" I look from side to side pretending that it wasn't me then slowly raise my hand to take the blame.  He gives me the ‘I'm going to get you' look and launches at me, chasing me around the room, spraying me with champagne. I guess pay back is a bitch.

            The noise had calmed down. Justin had got his stinky sweaty ass in the shower and we start to drink without him. I hand him a drink as he walks back into the room.

"Jack and coke babe?"

"I knew I loved you for a reason."

"Well thanks, that's what I am good for."

"There is something else you are good for." As he pulls me towards him

Steve interrupts this conversation... "Ok now, I don't want to hear or see this." He shakes Justin's hand, "Amazing show buddy, I was very impressed." Then he turns to me, "Your performance made me cry. I am proud of you, you did an amazing job and well I am just so proud of you. I love you." Now I am crying. Steve cried? Steve Never cries, I must have done good.

"No more tears guys, anyone. Let's drink." I couldn't be crying on a night like this even if they were happy tears.

            Everyone was joined in for a toast. Justin leads, "Here is to a successful tour, to happiness, to the future, to love, to friendship, and to family."

My phone hit the ground in utter shock. I have crawled into fetal position with my arms wrapped around my knees, tears streaming down my face.  I can't believe the words that the doctor just gave me. One word had changed everything. My entire life had changed at that very moment.

Justin walks through the door ecstatic about something "Mel! Are you here? I have some amazing news!" I couldn't say a word. I was still stunned by that single word. The tone has changed in his voice to a panic now, "Melissa?" I suddenly snap out of my tunnel vision.

"I'm.... I'm outside."

"Oh my god you are never going to believe what Johnny just told me. My album has...." He stops in his tracks. He knows something is wrong now. I wipe my tears and stand up. I have to pull myself together. "What is wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, what's your news." As I attempt to make a smile towards him.

 "I know you well enough to know something is wrong. What is it?"

"I... I..."

"Is this about the doctor's visit, is there something wrong?"

"Yes."

"What's wrong babe, tell me." I see his face change from content to completely shocked and sad.

"I can't even say the words." If I say it out loud it makes it true.

"No matter what is wrong, we will deal with it. I love you."

"I am glad that you love me... because I... I am... I can't even say it. If I do it will make it real."

"You're really scaring me now. Tell me."

"I... I..."

"Just say it. I am thinking so many terrible things right now."

"Pregnant."

With a sigh of relief his face lights up, he smiles and says, "Seriously!?"

"I'm so sorry... I didn't think... I must not have been paying attention to my birth control."

"Don't be sorry. I am ok with it... I am more than ok with it. I am happy with this."

"I thought you didn't want kids? This is going to ruin everything."

"I never said I didn't want kids, I simply just didn't want them when I was in my twenties. I wanted to live. And this ruins nothing. We are going to have a baby!"

"But we have only been together a couple months... We are not married... I want to have babies with you but not like this."

"Do you want to get married?"

"Are you asking me this, right now... at this moment?" I couldn't believe this is his answer right now.

"Why not?"

"Yes, I do want to get married but I don't want it to be because I am pregnant."

"I would never marry someone for that reason... Melissa, I love you. You know I love you more than anything in this world. Let's just be happy about it. Don't worry about the little details. Everything will work out."

"Justin, I love you but we are not ready to get married. One day we will but not right now. I don't know how you can be so calm about this? I am freaking out."

"We are having a baby! Millions of people have babies every year. I have found someone that I am going to spend the rest of my life with. We are choosing a different order, that's all."

"I don't know if this is what I want." His tone of calmness was pissing me off. He doesn't want kids. However I guess we never really had the kid conversation. It was not something we had ever really brought up and talked about.

"We have options. If you don't want to have this baby we can choose the other options."

"I would never have an abortion. I may be pro-choice but I personally would never do that. And I could never give my child to a stranger. I couldn't do that either. It looks like I... we only have one option."

            A routine check-up for the tour has turned into a life changing situation. I have always been on the fence about kids. For the most part I didn't want kids. It was a choice I had made very early in life. I thought maybe that option would change for me if I met the right guy or was ready for it or a biological clock had started to tick and I would decide then. I was always careful about taking my birth control. I took it every day at the same time. Coffee and birth control, its how I started every day. There had to be something wrong.

I rush to the bedroom and dump out the contents of my three thousand dollar purse. I find the packet, one two three four... they were all gone. I had taken them all. I know that if I would have missed a pill I would have panicked and insisted on not having sex. As much as a shocker that was for even me to admit. My mind is so scattered at this moment that I feel guilty when it hits me that Justin has some exciting news.

"What is the news you were really excited about before I rudely ruined that?"

"This is more important."

"No, I want to know. We have time to deal with my issue for at least nine months."

‘Well, Johnny called. My album is going to debut at #1 on next week's charts."

"Oh my god, congratulations babe!"

"That's not all. It sold one million nine hundred thousand copies in the first three days. They estimated that over one million were sold the first day alone." The smile on his face is so big that it's ridiculous. "It has broken all kinds of records for a solo artist."

"That's amazing! I knew the album would sell, it's a great album."

"I never thought it would do that well. I figured it would sell a few but not two million."

"I can't believe that this is really happening. It's an amazing day for you."

            He reaches over and touches my stomach. "It really is." Normally if he touched my body it would turn me on instantly. But I couldn't get that damn word out of my head. Pregnant, pregnant, pregnant. I had come so far and it was all going to fade away now that I had been stupid and forgot my pill or something and now I'm pregnant.

"I am so sorry I am totally ruining your moment. I am ecstatic about the news. It's been an eventful day to say the least."

"I know that you are happy for me. It's been an eventful day that has changed our lives tremendously."

"Could we keep this news to ourselves for a couple days? At least until I can get in to see the doctor."

"Are you embarrassed to be pregnant with my child?"

"You're silly, you know that."

"Yea, yea I know. I understand. We will make sure you get into see the doctor before we leave NY."

            We were going to dinner to celebrate Justin's huge accomplishment and I wasn't sure how I was going to hide this from Kia and Steve. Kia could read me like a book normally and she would know something was wrong if didn't even have a glass of wine. I was always eager to have a drink. As selfish as it was, how could I go nine whole months without a drop of alcohol? I had warmed up to the idea of having a baby, but I hadn't accepted it yet. I Melissa Roberts was pregnant and I know that I couldn't hide it from these two people. Justin agreed that it was more than likely not going to be something I could keep from them. We agreed that we would tell them only if they asked. It's my friends, they will ask. I felt like our parents should know first but I didn't need that pressure right now.

            Our reservations were for 6:30 and we arrived exactly on time and our table was not ready, but the biggest shocker was that my always tardy friends were early, again. I stepped up to the podium and told the hostess that the Timberlake party had arrived and got a little snippy with me saying, "It's going to be a couple minutes." I wasn't in a mood to put up with her and her nasty attitude so I very nicely said back, "That's fine." She turned as to walk away and I wasn't done yet.  "However, please remember that there are about twenty guys standing at the window taking pictures of Justin and his new flavor of the week and I am thinking that your other customers are not going to be very happy with them taking pictures of them eating, but it's perfectly fine with me." I smiled at her and walked away.

Justin has his stern face on, I knew he wasn't happy. "Mel."

"Yes dear"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I took care of it."

"Why does that girl look like she is going to cry?"

"Because she is weak, I don't know."

"What did you say to her?"

"I wasn't mean. I just simply told her that there are twenty people standing out here taking photos that maybe they should hurry up with the table because of the other costumers. I promise I was nice. She was the one rude and I shot back with politeness."

I don't know what had gotten into me. This isn't who I was. I would have never talked to someone like that. Not that I was extremely rude to her but I normally would have walked away. Maybe it was everything that I was going through today, I wasn't sure. I felt like I was a million places and yet I wasn't even really there at dinner. I stared at the menu for nearly ten minutes just looking at the words. I couldn't even tell you what was on that menu.

The waiter comes over to take the order and everyone orders a beer. I order a glass of ice water with lemon. I was going to play it off as I didn't feel well and didn't want to drink. My friends knew there were many nights I would roll into the bar with the flu and still drink all night long.

I know there was a conversation going on around me but everything sounds like a Charlie Brown cartoon. I feel Justin grab a hold of my hand but I still don't budge. I am in a completely different state of mind.

"Mel, are you ok? You seem like there is something wrong?" Kia is talking to me but I didn't hear her. "MEL"

‘Yeah." I snap back into the conversation.

"What is wrong with you tonight? You are not acting like yourself."

"It's nothing. I need to get some air that's all." I slide my chair back to stand up.

"Do you want me to walk out there with you?"

"No, I just need to breath for a minute." I take a deep breath and get up from the table Justin asks if I want him to come outside with me. I just say no, and as I walk out of that secluded room I can hear Steve and Kia asking Justin what was wrong. There was way too much going on in my head for me to be sitting in a secluded room. I felt like I was having a panic attack. My anxiety was shooting through the roof.

Moments later I feel someone's arms wrap around me.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I turn to see who it was. I didn't have a clue what they said to me but I know someone is touching me now. "Kia, I don't know what to do?"

"Justin told me." I just look at her. "You know it's all going to work out for the better in the end." She leans down to whisper in my ear. "You will be an amazing mom." That literally sends chills down my spine. "Don't for a minute think that everything you have wanted in life is suddenly going to fade away. Everything happens for a reason."

"I don't know what to do Kia. I know that this isn't an option, it's now the situation but how can I literally give up on my dreams now. I know I am being selfish but I have got this close to making things really happen for me. It's hard to even think that I have to give them up or even put a back burner on them. I want more time with Justin. I want to know everything about him. I want to be selfish with him for a while."

"You have never let things stop you before, so I don't believe for a moment that you will let this stop you. This is something that will make you an even better person than you already you. I never thought was possible."

After a couple moments we return inside. Kia was started to go after paparazzi so I knew I had to suck it up and go inside. Kia may be pint size but she packs a mighty punch.

"I'm sorry for ruining this dinner. This was supposed to be about Justin and his huge accomplishment and I had to be selfish and make it about me. I am ok. I don't want to talk about it anymore and let's enjoy dinner."

Everyone seemed kind of shocked but I was over the situation and I wanted this night to be about Justin. From that moment I really forced the thought of pregnancy and anything that had to do with that into the back of my mind. ‘I really need a drink' was the only thought that I couldn't push to the back of my mind because I really did need a drink or two.

My foot is tapping on the side of the chair. I couldn't sit still. There are eight other women sitting in the waiting room. Two that seem to be ready to have their baby's at any moment. They have all seemed to pick up a Parade magazine or a baby magazine as I sit with a Vogue in my hand. I am out of place in this room.

            The woman sitting directly across from me keeps looking up and whispering to the person next to her. Is there something on my face? Did I forget to button my shirt? What were they starring at?

            "The doctor will see you now. Please follow me." This nurse was more than likely a brand new nurse and was going to run straight to the press and pay off her student loans. She instantly knew who I was and asked if the father was going to be at the appointment. "Have a seat on the exam table. He will be in to see you in just a moment."

            Sometime between dinner last night and this morning I had actually been able to come to terms with everything. I was going to have a baby and then work on my dreams. There was some rearranging that need to be done. But I had to look it as if I know had nine more months to complete the album and make it even better. There was no other way to look at the situation.

"Melissa Roberts, I'm Dr. Edwards. It's nice to meet you again."

"It's nice to meet you again to."

"So we are here to see how far along you are and get you an estimated due date, correct?"

"I guess so. I only found out yesterday I was pregnant."

"Is the father going to be present?"

"For privacy reasons he will not be at this appointment."

"I understand. We do get a lot of high profile individuals through this office. It makes sense to have ample amount of time before the press gets a hold of the story."

"Yea, life in the spotlight!

            He has dumped that nasty gooey cold gel on my stomach and is moving it around to project the image onto the small monitor. He looks almost confused.

"Have you had any morning sickness?"

"Not that I can remember... well maybe a couple days ago however I thought it was nerves. You know performing on national television for the first time or performing at Madison Square Garden is a little intimidating."

"I would imagine that would be very nerve racking."

"It was good though. I managed to handle them both."

"I did see your performance at MSG. My daughters are huge fans of Justin. I was shocked that big voice came out of that tiny body. You handled it very well." He is attempting to make small talk because there is something wrong.

"Thanks." I wasn't sure if he was serious or if he was trying to make me feel good before he plummeted me with bad news.

"I will be right back. Maybe you should call the father and have him be present."

"Is that really necessary?"

"I think so."

"You are making me nervous right now. I want to know what's going on."

"Well I am not currently sure. The nurse will be in to take a blood and urine sample. I will return in a moment."           

            I am panicking. What is going on that he won't tell me? Is there something medically wrong with me? I pick up the phone and call Justin. My hands are trembling so much that I drop the phone. Once I finally get control of myself, I dial the number.  He doesn't answer, I know that Trace is with him and they are working on William Rast designs today so I call him.

"Hello" Trace answers immediately with a confused sound in his voice.

‘Trace, where is Justin?" My tone isn't just simply asking where he is, there was some panic in in the shakiness.

"I think he is in the conference room, is something wrong?"

"Yes" my voice begins to shake, "I need Justin to get over to the doctor's office as soon as he can. They are not telling me anything but they said that he should be here."

"Whoa, ok this is serious now. I will find him and he will be there, I promise."

"Thanks Trace. I know he is probably in complete work mode."

"Typical Justin. I will have him there in a few minutes."

            Sitting alone in that exam room was not comforting at all, not one single person said anything to me other than to take blood and urine. I was getting more and more scared as the moments ticked by. Anything could be wrong and I had every major medical condition running through my mind.

Within fifteen minutes of speaking to Trace, I hear Justin getting very loud in the waiting room. "I want to know where she is at. I don't care what you have to do, you find what room she is in now."

I step into the hallway, "Justin, calm down I am right here."

"What the hell is going on? You are pale white and look scared shitless and these people are just allowing you to sit in that room."

"Calm down. I don't know what is going on yet."

"That's inexcusable. You are the patient they shouldn't leave you with nothing. I think I had a heart attack or two on the way over here."

I have tears in my eyes and I know he is just as worried as I am, "Just hold me please." With his arms wrapped around me and the whispers of "I love you's" I feel safer knowing he is here. I could feel my body starting to tremble.

"Melissa, I am so sorry to keep you waiting. However I didn't want to tell you something that wasn't correct. There was an issue with the sonogram and I had to run a few tests to verify it."

"Ok. So what is going on?"

"Well the blood tests that were submitted to me came back as you were pregnant. But the sonogram showed that you were not pregnant. Nor have you been. The blood tests must have been mixed up."

"Mixed up, what exactly are you saying?"

"You are not pregnant. You are 100% not pregnant. The tests we ran in today verified that."

"You are kidding me right?"

"No, I am sorry but you are not pregnant."

            I could feel the tears started to well up in my eyes. I didn't know at that moment to be happy or sad. I guess this is the outcome I wanted but a part of me felt let down. I expected for it to be a relief in some way but it wasn't.

"I have driven myself crazy the last 24 hours over, nothing? Does this happen often?"

"This has never happened to one of my patients... All of the blood tests that were grouped together were all from every female on the tour. Which means someone is pregnant. Someone that submitted blood the same day you did is more than likely the individual that is pregnant."

"So what do we do now?"

"Whenever you are ready you are free to go. There is nothing else you have to do. I will contact the tour manager and arrange for the females who were here the same day to come back in."

"Thanks Dr. Edwards."

"Again I am very sorry for everything."

            It was a quiet ride back to the apartment. I wasn't pregnant, I should be relieved. But I wasn't. I was upset because I wasn't pregnant. There has to be something wrong with my crazy mind because I nearly had a nervous breakdown in the restaurant last night and today it's the complete opposite.

"I'm sorry" I felt ridiculous for making such a scene last night and behaving the way I did.

"Why are you sorry? This isn't your fault."

"I was selfish and made this all about me. I completely ruined your news and made it all about me. And, I guess a part of me feels like I let you down. You were beyond ecstatic to finally become a father. I took that away from you."

"You haven't done anything wrong. You were never pregnant, simply false results. I have to be honest I was excited about becoming a dad but it is obvious that it wasn't meant to happen right now."

"I'm so sorry."

"This isn't your fault. We will get married and have babies. I have no doubt in that."

Grabbing for his hand, "I love you."

"I love you to" as he lifts my hand to kiss it.

***

            Kia & Steve had sent a huge bouquet of flowers to congratulate us on the pregnancy. I was shaken up by everything that didn't even think about calling them and telling them that I wasn't pregnant. They would be here shortly for dinner anyways so I would inform them then.

It may have only been four in the afternoon but the moment I stepped into that apartment I cracked open a beer. The ice cold beverage went down so smooth. I didn't need to drink I simply wanted it because I could.

"Can you grab me one of those?" Justin asks politely.

"Do I look like I want to share any of that 12 pack with you?"

"Well no, that is why I would like to have at least one."

"Fine, just don't make it a habit. I am the one that needs the alcohol."

"I think we both do after the events the last couple days."

I wanted to literally jump his bones at that moment, but I knew we didn't have time, not even for a quickie. There was a knock at the door. I seductively whisper in his ear, "I want to taste you" He pulls me closer to him and kisses me then whispers back, "Not as bad as I want to taste you" The knocking has continued. Now I know that it is Steve because the person on the other side of the door hasn't stopped knocking. I would assume that he knocked thirty or so times.

"I'm coming."

Steve responds from the other side of the door, "I bet you are"

"Hey now..." I opened the door, "No need to dirty everything up."

"Was I wrong? Never mind, scratch that I don't even want to know."

            The first thing Kia notices is the beer. "Mel, why do you have a beer in your hand? That better be Justin's."

"It's not. It's mine. I have only had one so far."

"You can't have any."

"I can have as many as I want, even though there is only ten left in the fridge."

"What are you doing?"

"I did you both to sit down. I have some news."

"I thought we got the big news yesterday?"

"Please, just sit. Then we can get to dinner because I am starving."

I called to verify our reservations for Southern Hospitality. I hadn't eaten all day. I was too stressed to even think about food. So some nice southern food sounded amazing right now. Not to mention I really need to eat something if I am going to continue to drink all night. I was about to blurt this news out to them. They were so excited for me. I may have been the only one that was simply scared about having a baby.

"I think I need to give you money for those flowers you sent. I can't imagine how much they cost you here."

Steve and Kia are both thinking I have completely went off the deep end. I was acting erratic, drinking alcohol, fidgety, and rambling. Okay so maybe the rambling was normal but the rest of it wasn't. They both at almost the same time ask what is going on.

"I am not pregnant."

"What?" Kia is more hurt than surprised.

"There was something with my blood work that was mixed up with someone else's and long story short, I am not pregnant." They just sat there.  I don't think they knew what to say.

"Justin, you have to get up. You're late." He has slept in and has a meeting at the William Rast offices in twenty minutes. "Shit, where the fuck is Mandy? She was supposed to meet me here forty-five minutes ago to go over the schedule before we leave tomorrow."

"I tried to call her. She hasn't answered any of my phone calls."

"She better have a good excuse. This is the third time she has been late this week."

"Maybe it's time to replace her."

"Trust me I have thought about it. If I didn't have to train someone else with the tour right now, I would have someone else in that job today."

"You could always hire a second one and train them?"

"That's a thought."

"Let me talk to Mandy and see what the issue is.  She doesn't work for me but I might be able to get her to realize this can't go on."

Thirty-five minutes later we both arrive at the office. Something has happened and the meeting is running late. Everyone except Trace is in the conference room. There are new designs on the table and sketches for some ideas they have been thinking about. I wonder if any of the people that were designing this stuff ever really thinks of the customer they are attempting to go after. Yes, the jeans make your ass look amazing however jeans are not practical for a working environment.

Finally Trace arrives, looking pretty rough. "Late night Trace?" Justin seems a little ticked off but is playing it off because he was late himself. "I don't even want to talk about it right now." Trace does not want to be at this meeting at all. Ten minutes later Mandy arrives at the office looking just as rough as Trace does. I wonder if they were out together. I hope Trace wouldn't do something stupid with Justin's assistant. I was sure that he and Anabelle were still together, not that makes any difference.

"Mandy, could I speak to you in Justin's office please."

"Sure." She looks a little scared and guilty.

 "Are you feeling ok? You don't look so well." We walk into his office and I shut the door behind us.

"I am ok. I slept in this morning that's all."

‘Tell me something. Were you out with Trace last night?"

"No, I was out with... um some friends that I met me here in the city?"

"I thought you were born and raised in California?"

"I was. These are friends I met yesterday. They are um... " she was fidgeting with her hands, I knew she was lying.

"You can stop now. I know you are lying. You are a bad liar. "

"I made a huge mistake last night. I don't want to even think about it."

"You know that Trace has a girlfriend, right?"

"Yes." Her head falls to the ground. She was not only guilty, she was caught.

"I am not going to get involved in your personal life but you need to have that straighten out because you can't be having an affair with your boss's best friend and business partner. The press would have a field day with that. Speaking of your boss, Justin has some concerns..." It hit me just then. She has been with Trace the whole time we have been in New York. This is why she was late to things. Trace hated alarm clocks, he hated the beeping noise, and he didn't have one at all. Anabelle was in L.A. working and he was sleeping with Mandy while here.

"What is Justin's issue?"

"Well considering I just figured it all out. I think you need to make a choice right now to either be Justin's assistant or Trace's fling. The fact that you have been spending all your nights with Trace, it has been causing Justin to think you are not right for the job anymore. He has concerns about your commitment to the job."

"I have been with Justin for well over a year. I think that is a commitment."

"However staying out at all hours of the night, sleeping in and not doing your job properly is a concern. You knew Justin had to be at this meeting this morning at 9:00 sharp. If you knew Justin had to be here then you had to know that Trace had to be here the same time."

"You have only been dating Justin for what ... a couple months?"

I interrupted her. "This has nothing to do with my relationship with Justin. This has to do with you not doing your job."

"Exactly my point. How would you know what my job entitles since you have only been in his life for a couple months?"

"Justin has the issue with you not doing your job correctly, not me. You are right, I don't know exactly what your job entitles so I don't know what you are doing or not doing. But Justin does."

"Are you telling me I am fired?"

"No, I actually asked Justin if I could talk to you first because I thought maybe there was something going on that we weren't aware of and it might be the reason you have been slipping this week, little did we know there was something major going on. He wants to keep you but you have to step it up. With the tour kicked off, it's going to be difficult to keep things straight from the road."

"I'm sorry I was so defensive. I want to keep my job. I promise I will deal with the Trace issue and everything else."

"Thank you."

"Are you going to say anything to Anabelle?"

"I think that information needs to come from Trace. But if I am asked by Anabelle, I will not hesitate to tell her. I will not lie to anyone for the two you."

"And Justin?"

"Again I think that needs to come from you or Trace. I will not lie to Justin either."

"Okay. After the meeting today I will talk to Trace."

            Sitting in Justin's office I notice that his OCD continues with this office. He may be in this office once a month but it is perfectly organized. There is a computer monitor on the right and an empty desk on the left. There is a photo of Justin, Lynn, and Paul at the opening of the Mirimichi golf course; I love his relationship with his mother. I know that a lot of women would be apprehensive about a mother/son relationship like theirs but I think it speaks highly of who he is. There's a black and white photo of Buckley and Brennan, it looks like it was taken in his house in L.A. Then there's a photo of Justin and me in Cancun, the one that Lonnie took. I am smiling like a child on Christmas morning. It's a simple gesture but it feels amazing to know that he put that picture there and he was simply thinking of me. I have that cheesy smile on my face when he walks through the door.

"What is so great that you are smiling from ear to ear?"

"You have our picture on your desk."

"Of course I do. You are surprised?"

"I guess I'm not surprised but it the simple things that I love... Anyways what's up?"

"I want you to sit in on the design part of this meeting? Are you interested?"

"Sure, is there something I am supposed to be doing?"

"No, I do want someone outside of the L.A., NYC limelight to listen to some of their thoughts."

"Okay, sounds good."

            For twenty minutes I listen to this woman from the back of the room, which is more than likely my age, ramble on about the high fashion that needs to be brought into the line. They need to get more formal pieces and broaden the line a little. She thinks that they need to up the prices and go for the higher end of the fashion world.

The room had got quiet. They were waiting to see if Justin or Trace liked the idea. Finally Trace breaks the silence "What do you think about the high fashion line for William Rast, Melissa?"

"I think that the audience the normally buys William Rast doesn't want to spend $170 on a tank top that has to be dry cleaned every time it is worn." I am getting the worst evil look from this woman now.

"What do you think we should introduce into the line?"

"I think you need a universal line. Something that can be worn in the office but could also is worn outside of the office to an event or a dinner party. William Rast is very well known for jeans. That is their signature product, but what if you added an addition line to the brand, maybe calling it William Rast Couture or something to draw in that attention. Have it affordable, but also have it be wearable. There could be sexy business suits to a sexy dress that fits a woman in all the right places."

Trace looks surprised, "I actually like that idea. What do you think Justin?"

Justin gives a smirk and looks at Trace. "I think Melissa has impeccable taste and I think I may have just lost my personal stylist."

Trace nods his head, "I think that we have found the new head designer of the William Rast Couture Line. Melissa would you like the job?

"What?" I think I just heard him but I couldn't have.

"Would you like the job? I know that you have a lot on your plate right now but I think that if this line is going to be successful it is going to need you to control of every detail."

            What just happened? I think I was just offered a job, as head designer at a company that has been beyond successful for the last six years. Designing my own line of clothing that would be part of William Rast is a crazy thought. I must have been daydreaming again.

"Mel, are you interested in leading this line?"

"Oh, you're serious..."

"Well of course I am."

"Yes. Of course I would love the job."

"Well that settles it. Melissa will be handling the Couture line and we have a lot of work to do. I would like to debut it fashion week in NYC this year."

"Wait, isn't fashion week in September?" I was really confused now.

"Yes."

"Like two months from now?"

"Yes, a little over two months from now. It's going to be a very busy couple of months but if we want to get this line the attention it deserves it has to be in that fashion show."

            How was I possibly going to get an entire collection done in a couple months? How did Trace or even Justin for that matter know that I could handle this? How could they want to give something this big to me?

"If that is everything on the agenda today let's get to work, we have a lot to do."

"Trace, Justin could we talk for a minute."

            The room cleared pretty quickly. I had to ask him questions that maybe would not speak a whole lot for my character but I needed some kind of answers. Justin is the first to ask what was wrong. I informed them there was nothing wrong. I had some questions and some concerns. Justin and Trace both pull up a chair and have a seat again. I take a deep breath and just ask them. I look at Justin.

"Am I being offered this job because I am your girlfriend?"

"Why would you even think that?"

"Neither of you have ever seen what I can do with clothing but yet you offer me a position so high in this company that I can't even think about turning down the offer."

Trace is shaking his head, "Did you want to turn it down?"

"No, that is not what I am saying..." I can't put the right words into what I want to tell them. "I don't want the job if that is why it was offered to me. I want to earn my keep and I saw the way all those people looked at me when you said the job was mine. They think that I was offered the job because I am Justin's girlfriend."

"Speaking for myself here and I am sure that Trace agrees, I would never put someone in charge of my multimillion dollar profiting clothing line if I didn't think they would succeed. I saw the work you have done with the tour wardrobe and all the things you have designed for yourself to do promotion with me. So I know you have the talent, and I have faith in you."

"I completely agree with Justin. I brought up bringing you on in the company to Justin about a month ago because I thought you had this thing with fashion that was amazing and we both were on the same page. We believe that William Rast needs a fresh mind with talent to bring to the table. That person is you. Why do you think we would ask you to sit in on a closed design meeting?"

I was stunned but his reaction. I guess it was my own insecurities that were the issue. "Well, thank you. I needed to hear that. I am going to work on some sketches and some ideas maybe we could get a meeting set up for this afternoon before we leave tonight?"

"I will have it arranged as well as getting your company email set up and your office. It's going to be a little difficult to get this done while on the road with Justin but I think we can handle it. I will be spending most of my time here in NYC for the next month so I will help as much as I can."

"You're going to stay here in NYC?"

"Yes?"

"You are not going home to Anabelle?" It was my instant reaction because of the conversation I just had with Mandy.

"She is working so much right now that it won't matter if I am home or not."

"Oh... I just thought you guys were happy."

"We were... I mean we are. We are both busy right now."

"Okay" I must have said that in a tone that caught Justin's attention.

"What is going on? Is there something going on that I am not aware of?" He isn't curious he is kind of pissed.

"I was just asking what was going on, that's all. I am trying to piece some things together." I hadn't lied to him. I was trying to give Mandy the chance to redeem herself. But by the end of the day Justin will know what is going on. I hoped it would come from Trace or Mandy but if it had to be me, I would tell him.

            I had settled into Justin's office with a sketch book attempting to come up with something before I left today. I couldn't have been in there more than twenty minutes and I heard the door open and shut. I had assumed it was Justin so I continued what I was doing. But I was wrong.

It was Trace attempting to use his mean voice. "What do you know?"

"I know nothing." I said sarcastically.

"Seriously, nothing? You know nothing? What was that all just about in there?"

"Is there something you need to fess up to Trace, are you guilty of something?"

He sat down on the couch and put his head in his hands. He had no idea that I knew the details. "I...I made a huge mistake. I have done something that is more than likely going to ruin my entire relationship with Anabelle and there is no one to blame except me. But I am guessing by your reaction early you already know that I screwed up."

"Yes, I do already know. The pieces were all there, I just had to put the pieces together. And actually it takes two. She is not innocent in this."

"I was so drunk..."

"That is no excuse. Don't give me that crap. I love you like a brother but alcohol is never an excuse. You still know right from wrong when you're drunk."

"I know that but I wasn't thinking clearly."

"You were thinking clearly three nights this week? If that is the problem then I think you need some professional help."

            His eyes were now huge with a very distinctive shocked look across his face. I guess he didn't realize that I had figured out more than he was leaning towards. "I... I..."

"There is no point in lying to me Trace, I know everything."

"You know nothing."

"I know that you have been sleeping with Justin's assistant." He has this shocked look on his face. "I know that it happened at least three times while here in NYC. I am not sure however if this was going on in LA. But it sure explains a lot now."

Picking up his jaw from the floor, "How do you know anything?"

"If you haven't noticed I see everything. I know everything. The real question now is how are you going to tell Justin or more than anything how you are going to shatter Anabelle's life?"

"I can't tell her. I don't want to hurt her like that."

"But you already have hurt her. She deserves to know the truth."

"I never meant for any of this to happen. I did hook up with Mandy in L.A once. It was before I met Anabelle. So when she was here in New York and I was alone and drunk and she was flirting with me, it felt ok. We had done it before, it was no big deal" He is a mess now. He knows that he may have lost the one person he cares about most in the world.

"So you decide that sleeping with her multiple times this week was the answer?"

"Well No, but I had already done it. Does it matter if it was once or five times?"

"FIVE??"

"I was exaggeration.  It was three times."

"You have to tell Anabelle."

"I can't"

"I love you Trace, but if you don't I will. She deserves to know the truth and have the option to make a choice. She loves you. You love her. If this is going to work out it will. You are going to have to do a lot of ass kissing for a long time."

"I will tell her. I will fly home this weekend and tell her. I guess me being away for a month could be good for us."

Twelve hours ago Justin had dropped a bombshell on me. We were on the bus headed from Boston, MA to Philadelphia, PA. He had been on a phone conference with his PR for nearly an hour and was upset when he returned to the back of the bus where I was working in the bedroom. He crawled into bed and started sobbing uncontrollably.

I had no idea what was wrong. He had been very happy the whole day. Something had happened and it was big. He is never like this. I asked what was wrong and he couldn't even talk to me. I try to touch him and he pulls away. I didn't think I had done anything that would upset him. I had been working all morning on William Rast Couture designs. Maybe I was ignoring him and he wanted some attention. That wasn't typical for Justin though. He would just take whatever I was working on out of my hand and say he wanted sex or wanted to lay together or something. He has never just cried like this.

"Justin, what is wrong?" he responded with nothing. He was freaking me out. He kept saying, "I can't believe this, it can't be true." He gets up off the bed and walks to the front of the bus. I get up to see where he went and he is on the phone. I hear him say, "Are you 100% sure.... I don't need any bullshit from anyone right now. I need a definitive answer.... I knew this was a huge mistake from the beginning... Yes it was a mistake... Make sure you are at the next city.... Because we have a lot to discuss when I get there.... I know that you are leaving the tour but I need you to be at the next stop. I am almost there.... A little over an hour give or take..."

What they hell was going on. I couldn't understand what was going on by the one sided conversation. I wanted to know what was going on and I wanted to know now. He turns to see me standing there. He closes his eyes and says "I'm so sorry"

"What is going on?"

"I need to tell you something. I don't even know if the words can come out of my mouth but I need to tell you before someone else does. I need you to know that I love you and I don't want this to change anything between us."

            I have to admit my entire body has started to tremble and I begin to feel very weak and emotionless. He grabs of a hold of my hand and begins to speak.

"Ashley has informed me that she is leaving the tour. She recently found out that she is pregnant. She was the one on the tour that was pregnant. Being that she is a backup dancer she doesn't want that strain on the pregnancy."

"I'm sorry but what does this have to do with me? Why does it involve you?"

"I slept with Ashley..."

            Everything began to work in slow motion...I rip my hand out of his. Did he really just admit to me that he had an affair? I began to hyperventilate. I don't even know the details but I know that this is going to be the demise of our relationship that was for sure. I lose control of my entire body. I hit the floor. This was my worst fear coming true, again.

"Mel..." he kneels down to wrap his arms around me.

"Don't touch me. Do not fucking touch me."

"Mel, she said the baby is mine."

"I'm sorry, what?" I knew exactly what he said. It was exactly what I thought he was going to say.

"I can almost guarantee that this child is not mine. I am damn near certain. We only slept together one time, one fucking time. I used a condom, I made sure of that."

"When?" That's all I really needed to know at this moment.

"What?"

"When did you sleep with her?"

"I don't remember the date?"

"This is not the time for your sarcasm Justin. I need to know when you slept with her, I need to know if I need to pack my things right now and leave."

"I knew this was going to end badly." He is shaking his head.

"When you sleep with her? That's all I need to know right now."

"I slept with her the week or so before I left for Mexico. It was random and it was something that was never going to happen again."

"Did it happen again?"

"No, I swear to you. It only happened once, while I was in NY."

"What is it with men and fucking NYC?"

"I'm sorry what?" He didn't have a clue what I was talking about.

"That's a whole other situation you need to talk to Trace about." For a moment I felt bad that Justin didn't know about the Trace situation yet. But fuck that, Trace has been holding back on telling Justin for a fucking week, it's his drama to deal with.

"Mel, I promise you I haven't cheated on you. I would never do that to you. I love you."

"Is she keeping this baby?"

"Yes."

"Looks like you are getting to be a father after all."

"Mel, don't. I can't control this now. It is out of my hands. Does the fact that she may or may not be having my baby affect us?"

"Right now in this moment I cannot answer that question rationally."

"I respect that. I love you, you know that right?"

"Yes, I do know that and I do know that I love you but this is a lot to take in."

            We sat in silence for a very long time. The ride to the next city was long and sad. I felt my world falling apart. This was worse than if I was pregnant myself. Why can't I just be happily in love and have things worked out in my favor? At this moment I don't know what to do, I don't even know how I am going to put one foot in front of the other to step off the bus, how was going to be able to deal with all of this.

            I wanted to be the stronger person and accept all of this. Tell Justin it was ok and that we would deal with this but I just couldn't. I knew that really none of this involved me. He hadn't slept with her while we have been together it was before. How could I feel like I could hold something like this against him for something that happened before we even met? I could have very well ended up pregnant by someone before I met Justin. This could have been me. Yet even with that I couldn't accept any of it.

            Justin was meeting with his PR, his manager, and Ashley when we get to the arena. He wanted me to be there and I just couldn't do it. They were in the conference room next to the dressing room. I heard the conversation getting pretty heated. I walk up to the room and lean on the doorway.

"... How do you know that this child is mine? How can I trust that you didn't sleep with someone else? How far along are you? I want days, because I will pull out my calendar and count the fucking days."

"Justin, why are you blaming this all on me? It isn't completely my fault. We both made that decision that night."

"I understand that we made a mistake..."

She interrupts him, "A mistake?"

"Yes, it was a mistake. We had sex and we shouldn't have but we did."

"That is not what you were saying that night."

            I couldn't listen to this anymore. I couldn't listen to her divulge details of their sexual adventure. But then I hear Justin's voice get extremely loud.

"You really you don't think I was enjoying it do you? Because I couldn't even enjoy it, I didn't even cum once with you. It wasn't even worth my time and I was wearing a condom. I am 100% sure that child is not mine." He looks up and sees me in the doorway.

"Justin you can stop pretending this..." She is still rambling when he interrupts her...

 "Mel..."

"This is about her, isn't it?" She is making it very clear that she doesn't like me. I guess it makes more sense now. She hasn't always been shady with me, since day one.

"Of course this is about Melissa. She is the love of my life and I would never want to hurt her."

"Well I think it is time to focus on the needs of your child and not another random chick."

"She is far from just another random chick. And that is not my child. I want a DNA test as soon as it can get done. How far along are you?"

"I don't know, I see the doctor in an hour."

"Did you sleep with anyone else?"

"I really don't think that is any of your business."

Justin has his mean face on. He is very stern with her. "I think it is my business considering you are telling me this is my child... His voice is even louder now, "If you would randomly hook up with me, who else did you fuck?"

"I am not having this conversation with you. I am leaving."

"We are going to have this fucking conversation. You are telling me that is my child. I have the right to ask fucking questions."

"Justin, you need to realize that the world doesn't fucking revolve around you and what you want."

"Did I say that? No, I simply am asking if I am the ONLY person that is a possibility here."

            Ashley leaves the room. I personally think that she has something to hide. She is being shady and not giving many details. I do respect that she shouldn't have to divulge details of her sex life but if there is someone else that could possibly be the father she needs to fess up.

            I return to Justin's dressing room, sit on the couch and completely zone out. There is nothing that I personally could do. I can't go back and change what has happened.

 I have been avoiding everyone today. I knew that if I spoke to anyone they would know I was upset and I couldn't deal with any of that right now. I had enough to worry about. I was going to work on the designs and work... work could occupy my mind right now.

            Justin walks into the dressing room. Sits down next to me and I feel myself getting red. I love him I really do, but I was too angry to speak to him right now. I knew this wasn't something he could control now but that doesn't stop me from being angry. He reaches for my hand, "Mel, you haven't spoken a single word to me today... I need you."

            That is all it took, I was a mess again. I know that he needed me, I needed him. I reached over and grabbed his hand, "I love you." He grabbed my hand and squeezed then he grabbed a hold me and held on for dear life. He was scared that this could really be happening. I was being very hard on him, but in the end he didn't have control as much as I did. I feel sleep on his shoulder. I was emotionally exhausted and so was he because he had his head laying on mine. 

            "Justin..." I felt someone nudging him. I'm awakened to see that it is Lynn. "Sorry I woke you, I just got here. Johnny said he needs to see you in the conference room before rehearsal. Ashley is on her way back from the doctor's office." He looks up at me and says, "I will never be able to keep you from getting hurt, will I?"

"Justin this isn't your fault, well it is but not literally. I am here. I haven't left, have I? I love you and this is something we will have to deal with and get through it. Together."

"I am sorry that this is something you have to go through."

"Justin, don't. "

"I know that it has hurt you and I am sorry for that. I wish this hadn't happened but it has. I love you, more than I ever thought I could love someone. I am just so sorry."

I cup my hands around his face, making sure he is staring directly at me. "I love you. I love you. Nothing in this world could stop me from loving you. I love you." I reach in to kiss him and I notice that there is a tear rolling down his cheek. I wipe off the tear and kiss him. "We will get through this, I promise you."

            Just then I hear Johnny walking in the door asking if he could join them in the conference room. He reaches out for my hand, I take it. I will stand beside him through this, through anything. The conference room has been secured. There is only Johnny, Justin, myself and Ashley.

She is holding a small white piece of paper that has a black and white photo on it. "This is a sonogram photo of the baby. I am defiantly pregnant."

I am the first to speak, "How far along are you?"

"I'm sorry but why are you here? This doesn't involve you."

Justin's entire face is red now, "She has every right to be here. She is my other half. Answer the question."

"Twelve weeks."

            Justin pulls out the calendar he had looking at. He is literally county back weeks, "... Five, six, seven ..." He looks up at me and smiles, "There is not a chance in hell that child is mine. We slept together March 12th and today is June 25th, that is fifteen weeks. Unless I have super sperm that lingers for a couple weeks, that child is not mine. It's not mine."

            The look of shock that is running across Ashley's face is priceless. I guess she didn't count the weeks back far enough. "Justin we slept together the last week of March."

"I was in Mexico that week. This is impossible."

"You were not in Mexico, you were in NYC."

"I left for Mexico the last Monday in the month. I know where I was. I have the charge on my fucking credit card..." Justin and I for that matter are very relieved that this was over. There was no way he is the father of that baby.

"I can't believe that you are saying all of this right now. You know what, I am done with you. You use someone else to get what you are not getting from you current girlfriend."

            I snapped up thinking I was going to hit a bitch, but then it snapped in that she was pregnant I couldn't hit her, but I sure wanted to. Finally she got up and left. Johnny is chasing after her. She needed to sign the confidentiality agreement. She had refused to sign it before speaking to Justin. She knew that it wasn't his baby after that doctor's appointment. She knew that the money she thought she was going to get from him for child support, was gone.

****

 "Welcome to E! News. The reports coming out of New York City last week was that Justin Timberlake's current girlfriend was pregnant with his child, after only dating for three months. But the word on the street today is that there is someone else that is pregnant within the tour that just kicked off last week. The real question is who did Justin Timberlake really knock up? Could he really be the father of two babies? Well, we have Ashley Jacobs in the studio today to talk to us. She was a dancer on Justin's current tour until she found out she was pregnant." I'm still in utter shock. I thought this was all over.

I am screaming down the hallway... "JUSTIN!!!" He looks panicked "You need to come see this. You might want to come as well Johnny."

            Ashley proceeds to tell E! that she is pregnant with Justin's child and his entire PR team and managers attempted to pay her off to keep  her quiet. I was flabbergasted by what she was saying. This was a dancer that was pretty damn good at what she did. She didn't need to make any kind of accusations for money or anything. She would be very successful as a dancer. Maybe she had planned this all along.

Justin is going to deal with himself. He picks up the phone and calls Ryan's personal cell phone. They are live on the air and he looks at the phone and see's that it is Justin and answers it.

"Well I think we are going to have some clarification to the interview that we just had with Ashley. Ladies and Gentleman Justin Timberlake is on the phone."

"Hello Ryan!"

"Well Justin there are a lot of things going on in your world right now... care to clear some of that up?"

"First of all, my tour is going very well. Thanks for asking Ryan... "

"Sorry man, priorities."

"Ok I normally keep my personal life, personal as much as I can but there aresome rumors that need some clarification, because this involves my family and my work. The first rumor is that Melissa is pregnant. That is untrue. Now Ashley, she is pregnant, however it is not my child. That is completely false. She has decided to leave the tour because she is pregnant. And I wish her all the best."

"Why would she claim that she is pregnant with your child?"

"Honestly Ryan, I am not sure. I heard about this situation this morning and approached Ashley about it and finally got to the bottom of the situation and Ryan there is no logical way that I could be the father of that baby."

"Well Justin, usually sex is a logical reason."

"Your funny Ryan, you really are."

"I try, so are you saying that she had made this entire story up."

"I don't think putting people's sex lives out on the table is appropriate. She has made it clear that she was acknowledged for sleeping with countless guys. That is a choice she had to make. This is all about her and well... honestly there was no relationship with her and me. We were hanging out a lot during the prep time for the tour but we were never dating or going out or whatever you want to call it."

"I guess the big question is... did you sleep with her?"

"Ryan, we as men make choices that we later regret. Unfortunately this is one of those situations for me."

"So the option is not impossible that this could be your child?"

"The doctor has made it clear in black and white for me that this is not my child. If it is... I must have super sperm that hangs around for weeks."

"Well there you have it. I guess the only other question is was you having an affair with her while you were dating Melissa?"

"That statement from her is completely false. I have never cheated on a girlfriend nor would I ever. Melissa and I have an amazing relationship and whatever she is attempting to do with this situation is beyond me. I honestly thought it was over and done with this afternoon."

"Well Justin I thank you for clearing those rumors up. Enjoy being on the road!"

"Thanks man, have a good one."

            The next phone call that is made is to Ashley. She doesn't answer. He leaves a nice little voicemail that clearly stated that she needed to stop making false allegations or his lawyer would be contacting her. "I wish I wouldn't have gotten drunk that night, it wasn't even worth it." He looks over to me and says, "Sorry, details I forgot!" I just wink at him. You can't take back things now. After all if that wouldn't have happened, I may not have met him and we wouldn't be here today. Everything happens for a reason.

            As I work on designs I am thinking about the events of the day. I couldn't believe that this day had started so normal and then now all this has happened. What if he really would have been the father of this child? Could I have handled being with him knowing that someone else was carrying his child? Could I have been a step mother to this child? I couldn't think about that right now because my phone is blowing up. Everyone must have seen the interview.

I have spent nearly every day in the studio for the last three weeks. It may be a different studio everyday but I was on a mission to finish recording this album. I had a lot of great ideas and a lot of not so great ideas. The record label is pressuring me to finish it but I wasn't going to finish something just to finish off the album. It had to be perfect.

            There was so much going on with the album and William Rast. The initial designs were done and I had been working on putting things together to take them to New York this week. I was taken the only days off from the tour to get things together. It would be the first time I would be away from Justin since I left Ohio. I loved waking up next to him every day. Thinking about being alone when I go to bed or waking up in the morning makes me think of the last moments I spent with Matt and how I felt that first night going home... that pain was unbearable, my world had shattered to pieces that day....

            Driving home from spending the weekend in Cleveland with his family I knew there was something wrong. I knew that this weekend had really changed our relationship. His sister and mother had both told me countless times that they had never seen him so happy. That he would marry me, that we would be so happy together. They were wrong on so many levels.

            I knew the moment we started driving on the open freeway that there was something on his mind. At first I thought maybe he was going to propose, he was fidgety and nervous. I had just had conversations with his mother about getting married and it just seemed to fit. He started talking about all the good times we had, the moments that he would never forget. Just when I thought he was going to ask me to spend forever with him I instead get, "Mel, I don't know how to tell you this other than to blurt it out... I have falling in love with someone else. I didn't mean for it to happen. I was content being with you. I may not have ever been in love with you but you loved me and I was content with that. I think that it is time we separate and hopefully stay friends. Because I do love you, you are my dearest friend but I'm not in love with you. You deserve to find someone that loves you back..."

            I think I sat there for nearly five solid minutes not saying anything, I couldn't remember how to breathe. I finally told him to pull over, I needed to get out. We were about an hour from home and I called the only person I knew in the world that would come and get me.

I barley could speak the words, "...Kia"

"Mel, is that you?"

"...Yes" Words were not easy to get out at this moment.

"Mel, honey what's wrong?"

"Can you come pick me up?"

"Where are you?"

"I think I am near Boardman somewhere." I knew that we had just past the exit.

"You think? Where is Matt? Why are you there alone?"

"I'm not."

"I'm getting in my car right now, what is going on?"            Steve heard her panicking and kept asking her what was going on.

"I just need you to pick me up. I cannot be in a vehicle with him anymore... Kia he is in love with someone else. He said he never loved me..."

"WHAT? I will kill that mother fucker."

"Trust me if I had the strength right now it would already be done."

"I'm on my way. Do you want me to stay on the phone with you?"

"No, just get here as soon as you can please."

            Matt nearly threw a tantrum when I asked her to pick me up. He continually called me selfish, and told me I was blowing this way out of proportion. I needed to grow up and accept that things happen and life moves on. I had gone from complete bliss to complete heartbreak. I suddenly got wind and blurted out exactly what I needed to say.

"I am blowing this out of fucking proportion? Do you realize that your parents and sister thought you were going to propose to me? They had me convinced I had found my other half... I had loved you more than anything in the world and you just shattered me, and everything I am. I really hope that whomever this person is that you have fallen in love with treats you with all the respect and honestly that you fucking deserve, because you deserve more heartache than anyone should have in a lifetime. Just remember that this.... This is over. Don't call me, don't send me flowers, and don't even think that I will take you back again. I am done. This is over. You have hurt me for the very last time."

"I don't want to end things like this."

"What so I can be your backup, I don't fucking think so."

"Mel, don't do this."

"How long have you been with this other person? How long have you been sleeping with her? How long have I been the fool at your side?"

"It's not like that."

"What do you mean it's not like that? You haven't slept with her yet? I find it highly unlikely that you have fallen in love with her and you haven't slept with her. I think you should just stop running in circles around your lies now, it's all over, and you can fess up to everything."

"Six months."

"Six?" I swallow really hard. How could I have been blind to his actions for six whole months?

"I swear to you it started off as nothing. Then somehow it escalated to what it is now. I never meant to hurt you."

"However you didn't feel the need to break it off with me, because I deserved that right?"

"That's not what I am trying to say. I honestly thought it was nothing between her and me. I was happy with you..."

"I don't even what to speak to you anymore. This is done."

            Steve and Kia arrived a couple minutes later, being escorted by a cop. Only they would manage to be escorted. Matt had left me on the side of the road because he didn't want to face my friends, he didn't want to face Steve. He jumps out of the vehicle before it is even at a complete stop.

"What the hell? He left you here? I am going to kill that mother fucker." Steve doesn't play games, he was serious.

"I just want to go, please can we just go?"

            Kia helps with my things and lets me cry on her lap the entire way home. "Thank you for dealing with my craziness. I didn't know what to do." I couldn't imagine that this has even happened to me. I had let my entire life revolve around marrying him, having children with him, making him happy. I had given up everything for him. I gave up an amazing job offer for him. He didn't want to move out of Ohio, I did. But I stayed just for him. I made him happy with everything I did.

            It took me a very long time to be able to hold my own head up again. I told myself over and over again that he would be the last guy to control my feelings and hurt me like that, but was he worth giving up on love? Was he worth the emptiness that I felt every day?

It may have taken a couple years but today as I stand alone in the airport terminal I know that there is a guy that wishes I was still laying in bed next to him rather than be in this airport about to fly a couple thousand miles away from him. I knew that I was a stronger person because of the pain I had gone through. I knew that he wasn't worth a single breathe that I breathed. I knew that I had found love, real love. That makes every bit of pain worth the love that I share with Justin.

***

            ‘Johnny I need someone that is qualified and not a total waste of my time." I am attempting to convince Johnny that I need a good assistant. "Not one that will sleep with my boyfriend or one that will sleep with my boyfriend's business partner."

"I am trying. I have one that has been in the business for a couple years that is very interested but it's a money thing. She wants an outrageous about of money." He doesn't seem too interested in getting this person.

"She needs to know the music world and the fashion world. My schedule is going getting really crazy already and I am simply just recording and putting designs on the table."

"I promise I will get you someone with the week."

"Well, I just landed in New York City. I am headed straight over to the William Rast offices. Do you think I can meet this assistant you want to hire? It would be great if I could see what she is like before you invest money into her."

"That can be arranged, she is in NYC right now. I spoke to her yesterday... I will find out when she is available and I will have her meet you at the WR Offices."

            As I walk into the WR office I realized that it felt different this time. I wasn't walking in as Justin's girlfriend I was walking in here to deliver fifty designs for the new couture line. I was the one they were waiting on. I was the one that was going to be leading these designs into an actual line. Not just a thought anymore this was really going to happen.

I was not as nervous as I thought I would be. I walked into the conference room with complete confidence that I had some amazing designs that everyone was going to love. Everyone starts to filter into the room, this was it. It was about to begin.

I stood at the front of that room and introduced the pieces to everyone who may or may not support the fact that this is my job now. I don't think they realized that this was something that I could handle and it was something that Justin had nothing to do with. He saw all the designs last night before I left but he has always said it was all about me, this was choices I had to make. It was mine line after all. He joined in for a conference call, simply to hear what people thought about the line and he had an announcement that he was going to make to the entire meeting. I knew nothing about this announcement so I was a little worried about it.

The reviews were pretty damn good. Of course there were some that were skeptical if the line was what it should be but I would say 90% of that room was convinced that I had done a great gone. 

Trace finally stands to speak. "Justin, are you there?"

"I'm here!"

"Well the line looks amazing. I think that Melissa has outdone herself."

"I saw the sketches and the samples last night and I was overly impressed. I think the pieces that she has are not only universal they can be mixed and match from casual to dressy and throw in a little sexiness. I guess the real reason I am involved with this meeting today is to inform everyone the name of the actual line that is going to go to press... Ladies and Gentlemen the line that you just previewed is going to be officially named, "William Rast Couture by Melissa Roberts."

"Melissa, how do you feel about that name?" Trace is now staring me down.

‘I love it. I guess I didn't expect to use my name" I was shocked. I figured it would be named Couture because that is kind of what I pitched them but I never expected them to use my name. "Are you sure it is not to long?"

"The name?"

"Yes the name... that's a mouth full." I hear Justin laughing hysterically now. "Justin, please get your mind out of the gutter."

"I'm sorry. I am being serious now.... I think the line will be shortened to William Rast Couture but it is officially going to have your name attached to it. After all, this was you idea and your designs. You deserve the credit for it."

            After the meeting I was headed down to the design department to see the ideas they had for the website, the tags, the labeling, and some of the marketing ideas that they had. There was so much to be accomplished in just a couple days. Dealing with all these details through emails was accomplishing things but it was nice to have the actual product in hand.

"Mel" Trace's assistant, Alexis, is trying to get my attention but I was focused on the tag for the clothing. "Melissa, Meredith Stevens is here to see you."

"Oh, thanks Alexis will you have her meet me in Justin's office please."

"You do know that your office is ready right?"

"No I didn't. My office is fine." My office, that sounds really weird.

            I open the door to see a beautiful bombshell blonde sitting in the chair in front of my desk. There was no way I was going to hire someone that looked that that to be around my boyfriend all the time. Let's hope that she is not as good as Johnny says she is. She stands immediately to introduce herself. "Hi, I'm Meredith Stevens. It's really nice to meet you." Crap, she was nice.

"I'm Melissa Roberts. It's great to meet you as well. So I guess my first question is how do you feel about being away from home most of the time?"

"I have an apartment in Los Angeles and that is where I call home but the last three years I have been bouncing between L.A, NYC, and Las Vegas so I am used to being away from my family and friends. They understand that I love what I do and I like to be in a different place all the time."

"Well that is a great thing, considering that I am touring with Justin right now. The tour still has about a month left of this leg of the tour. Then it goes back on the road for four months, with at least one of those months being overseas."

"I love being in all different places, it's almost as if I am being challenged every day. I am up for the challenge. I understand that you are trying to prepare me for what kind of life it is being on the road all the time but honestly I am up for any challenge you can throw at me. I have seen you live, I know that your career in the music industry is about to blow up and I overheard them talking about you in the lobby about how great your designs are for William Rast Couture. I think that I am going to be a great asset to your career. Not to mention I am a great listener. I am very loyal and I won't disappoint you, I promise you that." Crap, she might actually be good at what she does or a great actress.

"You have amazing references from all of your former clients, why did you leave them?"

"Well I worked for my aunt for nearly four years. From the time I turned sixteen until just after my twentieth birthday."

"Who is your aunt?"

"Shonda Rimes."

"Seriously?"

"Grey's humor, I get it."

"I am seriously the biggest fan of that show. So what did you leave her?"

"No one took me seriously. They always saw me as the niece of Shonda never the person that could handle anything that was given to her. So when I decided to leave I joined a very low named actress whose career only blew up for one movie and then they got rid of me because she could handle scheduling her own tanning appointments now."

"Well, I am going to give you the chance. I have to warn you that I am a perfectionist. I like things done a certain way and done the right way. If I seem bitchy it's because of my OCD it's more than likely not something you have done."

"I would love the chance to work for you and watch you grow into this amazing artist and fashion designer."

"I will call Johnny and have him figure it all out. It was very nice to meet you. Hopefully I will see you out on tour with us in the next couple weeks."

"I would be on the plane tomorrow if I was offered the job."

            I knew that Meredith would not only be good assistant she would be a great person to have along for the ride. She seemed to be very down to earth but yet she has experience that would make her do her job very well. I also couldn't believe that her aunt was Shonda Rimes, how freaking cool would that be.

I hated walking alone in New York. The city was so big and made me feel like I couldn't get anything accomplished.  The paparazzi here was crazy compared to being on tour. I guess they didn't realize that Justin was in Florida filming the video for his second single. They were following me around as if they were going to get a shot of Justin. I wanted to see him so bad. I have spent two entire days alone in New York. I stayed in the office the entire day and night and didn't see much of the city but I would be glad to finally get to see him tomorrow afternoon.

I don't have time to dwell on anything because Anabelle is meeting me for lunch today. She just got into town and this would be the first time I have seen her since Trace informed her that he cheated. We have talked on the phone and exchanged emails but this is the first time I have got to actually sit down and talk to her. They have spent the last month trying to fix their relationship. They truly loved each other and I was glad that she gave him a second chance. It was a long way back to normal for them but it would be worth it in the end.

When Justin learned about the affair, he basically wanted to fire Mandy for unprofessionalism. He thought that she would have presented herself in a better manner, but that doesn't mean that Trace was off the hook either. It took Trace an entire month to pick up the phone and call him. They both screwed up and made the choices they did. They were going to have to live with the consequences and deal with what Justin dishes out to both of them.

I see Anabelle walk into the restaurant. I didn't know what to say to her about the Trace situation. She walks over hugs me and sits down and asks "How are you doing?"

"I am doing well, a lot of work here in New York... then back on the road tomorrow. How are you doing?"

She shifts her body and adjusts into her seat again. "I never thought my life could be so great and so in pieces at the same time."

"I have been there but somehow you have to be strong and pull yourself together. It's easier said than done that's for sure." I had dealt with it more than once in my lifetime.

"What did I do so wrong that made him want to sleep with someone else." The waitress comes over to take our orders, perfect timing. As of right now the press knows nothing about the affair we were hoping it will stay that way. We order our food and she leaves. "It couldn't have been our sex life because I know I want it just as much as he does."

"Usually it has nothing to do with the other person, it's a selfish thing. He has some insecurity that he has to deal with on his own. Nothing you could have said or done would have changed that. I think though now he realizes that his actions could have caused him to lose you. That scared him enough to make him step up and admit what he had done and want to move forward with you."

"I love him. I thought this was the person I was going to marry, but how do I ever trust him enough again to get to a place where I am ok with him being in another state and I am not worried that he is sleeping with someone else."

"It's different for everyone. I made the choice to walk away from my ex who cheated and I never looked back, however we didn't have the relationship that you and Trace have. He was someone that I guess I always knew wasn't going to be my one. I honestly believe that you and Trace have an amazing relationship, minus this whole situation... I guess what I am trying to say is, if you want this relationship to work, it will. Challenges are going to be rough but it could be worth it in the end."

"I want this to work. I want to spend forever with him but I have always had trust issues and he totally blew it out of the water.

"Trust is something he is going to have to gain back. That doesn't come easy. He has to earn it back, over time."

"I agree... let's talk about something cheerer!" She looks as if she just doesn't want to dwell over all of it again, right now.

"As long as you are ok and managing to get through the days, yes I will change the subject."

"I am ok. Every day is a challenge but I am managing."

"This isn't cheerer but I got a card in the mail the other day with a letter in it from someone back home?"

"Who, what did it say?"

"Jessica."

"The girl that was supposed to be your friend but was talking shit behind your back, while you were home for the weekend?"

"Yes her. She apologized for acting the way she did. Claimed she was jealous that I am living my dreams and she is still working the same job and wanted things to change for herself."

"So she took it out on you, like it is your fault she hasn't done something to change that?"

"I don't know what her issue is but I am defiantly not going to deal with it." Just then my phone is beeping, I got an email.

"Who is calling you while we are eating?" Even I wasn't sure because I knew that Justin was working. I had talked to him right before I walked into the restaurant.

"It's an email from Johnny." I am actually a little nervous to open it. He never emails me, he always calls.

"Oh no, is it bad?" Let's hope not. I don't want any bad news. As I read the email he says he is on a flight from NYC to L.A and that he had some news for me. "Melissa, what does it say?"

"...I am going to send your assistant over in the morning to meet you at William Rast. She has been informed that your flight leaves in the afternoon and she is ready to go. Please treat Meredith very well. Oh and by the way, you owe me.... big time!" I was ecstatic that he hired Meredith. She truly is the right person for the job. I am glad they he listened to me. I wanted to do a happy dance right in that restaurant.

"What does he mean you owe him?"

"I wanted Meredith, I thought she was right for the job but she wanted more money than the other one but Meredith had the experience and the knowledge that I really think will help me out. So I am guessing that she wouldn't budge on the money issue, which I wouldn't have either, if I was right for the job."

"I am so glad that you finally found one that is going to be there to help you out. Maybe you won't be spending twenty hours a day working. Maybe just maybe you will have a couple hours to yourself now. It's doubtful though because you like things perfect!"

"I am going to attempt to let her have some control, I don't know how that will work out but I have way to much going on now and it is only going to get busier so I have to trust someone."

I arrived at the office very early the next morning. I only had a couple hours to finish up some loose ends before my flight leaves. I stayed in the office very late last night. I wanted see my wonderful boyfriend who I have missed terribly.

"...Melissa, the material for the blazer cannot be here for at least a month? What should we do?"

I honestly thought that was a stupid question, "Order it from a different vendor. Get it here as soon as possible."

"But it is almost twice the amount."

"Brandy, it really doesn't matter right now. The blazer has to be on that runway, order it from both vendors for all I care." She just looks at me. "Just order it. I will sign off on it." I really didn't think it was that difficult of a task.

Trace has come to me with some major problem that I can't even think about right now. I had just over two hours before my flight left. Meredith has walked into a nightmare that is for sure.

"Good Morning Meredith, are you ready for this task?"

"Bring it on."

"Do you have your things packed?"

"Packed and ready to go!"

"Let's get started. Trace will have your email set up. Make sure that he has your cell phone on record. You will be working directly with Brandy here, god help us both.... I would love to tell you that this is the main priority right now but its' not. This is just as equal to my record. I have to finish this line within the next couple weeks but I also have to finish recording the album. Not to even mention it will all be done on the road, a different city every night."

"I am ready for anything."

Let's hope she is ready for the craziness that has begun.

"...Melissa?" I am rushing out of the office.

"Trace, I have to go now. My flight leaves in an hour. I will barely make it through security in that time. Can this wait?"

"Yes, I will email you the details. Have a safe flight."

The airport was a complete nightmare. There was a raging storm on the east coast. Everything was delayed across the board, some were even cancelled. This reminds me of the day I arrived in L.A. The rain was a downpour however this was a severe thunderstorm. Our flight was delayed an hour which didn't worry me much. But the whole idea that I was arriving back in town four hours before the show was nerve wrecking alone, however now it's going to be about three hours before the show. I would completely miss sound check.

I tell myself over and over again to never again fly in the day of an event.  This stress was too much. I didn't panic though until Meredith walked over to me with this look on her face that was a sign of panic. "What is it?"

"The flight has been pushed back two hours."

"So, another hour?"

"No."

"Three hours"

"Yes, but the woman at the counter guarantees me that this flight will leave on that time. The storm has cleared most of the east coast and the flights in bound now."

"Holy shit. So I literally will be running from the airport to the stage?"

"It looks like it. I spoke to Johnny, he is arranging for us to have a police escort straight to the venue. You will make it there in plenty of time. You set doesn't start until forty minutes into the show."

"You are wonderful! Wow. I need to call Justin. He will panic if I am not there when the show starts."

He seemed to panic a little when he realized exactly what time I was going to get in but he knew that I would do everything I could to get there in time. I wouldn't screw up his show. He made me cry when he said, "I miss you. I love you." I have heard him say that so many times but it is amazing to hear that especially since we have been away from each for a couple days. I was not sure how I would handle the time apart from each other if it continued or worse if a couple days turn into weeks.

I hate sitting in the airport, doing nothing. My time could very well be spent doing something productive. There was a lot of work that needs done and I was just sitting here, doing nothing. I have my laptop I could check and see what Trace's issue was when I left. I didn't really want to deal with that right now but I open my email to find a list of about twenty things that Trace thought we should do before the fashion show. Great let's make my list even longer.

For a moment I forget that Meredith was with me. I am not used to someone being there all the time. She asks me "When is the last time you did nothing?" and to really think about it I had no clue. It always seems like I am doing something and even when I think I'm doing nothing it ends up being about something else.

"When I went back to the apartment last night, I was doing nothing." I smile at her. She knows I'm being sarcastic.

"I mean, really done nothing for an entire day?"

"I was doing nothing for the last hour just sitting here."

"That doesn't count. Doing nothing because you want to be doing nothing."

"It has been so long that I couldn't even remember it. I try to keep busy. Even before I had this career."

"You have to slow down and enjoy it." She actually did have a point. "You are going to miss everything if you don't slow down."

            Those simple words make me really think about everything. I want to make sure that I do enjoy the life that I have. I wrote an entire song just sitting there from her words.

Once we finally board the plane we are talking about life and the things we have done and the things we have always wanted to do.  She really was a genuine person, I was glad this is the person that would stand next to me for a very long time. I could see us becoming great friends.

My phone is blowing up when I arrive in Miami. I am guessing that Justin forgot to tell them I was on my way. I look at the clock. It was 9:09, Justin had been on stage for nine minutes and I am sure he is a wreck trying to perform and not think about the fact that we are flying down the interstate in a police vehicle doing roughly ninety-five. If he really knew this he wouldn't be able to think straight. We pull into the venue at 9:24 and I had literally sixteen minutes to get dressed and get on that stage.

Ron approaches me as they are zipping up the back of the dress. "Justin is freaking out.  It doesn't look like it on that stage but he is." All I could say was "I'm sorry, my flight was a disaster." Finishing touches were done on the hair and slipping the heels on as got into position. It was my moment and I was about to relieve everything that he was stressing over. The look on his face was priceless. He suddenly gained color back into his face and was beaming from ear to ear when I came down those stairs. I guess it helped that the stage director had given me the short blue mini dress that makes my legs look six feet long "Ladies and Gentleman, fresh off a plane Melissa Roberts."

The crowd was very responsive tonight. They were very loud. They really made me feel at home. At the end of the song Justin kisses me, but it was a normal kiss on stage kiss. He was all about it. It was the cupping of the face, holding onto the back of the neck, sensual, loving kiss. He finally stops and looks at the crowd and said, "She spent all afternoon in an airport due to the storms on the east coast and literally walked in this door at the beginning on the song. She deserves more love than that..." the crowd starts screaming. I love that sound.

I left the venue just after that performance and went to the hotel. I knew that some of the dancers and crew wanted to hit up the Miami night life but I was exhausted and there was only one thing I wanted tonight and it was to be alone with Justin. I left a note next to his blackberry that simply said, "I will meet you at the hotel. I love you - Mel"

Justin walked through the door to find a note on the table in the entrance way.

-Take off all your clothes, enter the bedroom.

He walked into the bedroom just as I had asked. I was standing looking out the window, watching the wave's crash into the sand. I'm standing in nothing but a pair of panties, panties that he had bought and left at the venue in a small gift bag with my name on the tag. They were black lace boy shorts, I may not have the ass that he is used to but the cut makes it appear as If I do.

I turn around to see him standing completely naked in front me. "I love it when a man does exactly what I tell him to do." I stepped closer to him, knowing that is all it would take.

"I love it when a woman takes control."

"I'm glad you enjoy losing control..." I am shaking my head no, with a smirk on my face "because you..." I begin to kiss his neck, "...don't have control tonight." I instantly drop to my knees and begin to show him what it is like to lose complete control.

All morning I have heard Justin repeat himself at least twenty times. He wanted to play a round of golf. He was in South Carolina and wanted to go to one of his favorite golf courses. As much as I had really wanted to spend the day with him, I had too much to do. I had scheduled sometime in the studio this afternoon before the show. He put on his sad, pouting face and I finally caved in, but I was going to make him go to the studio with me later. That was such a harsh punishment for him.

I never imagined how difficult it was for Justin to do simple things. He can't even pull out of his driveway in L.A. for Christ sakes. When we arrived to the golf course there was press surrounding the place. Seriously this wasn't entertaining; he was unloading the golf clubs and walking into the country club. I guess I will never understand the fascination. We were in South Carolina for crying out loud. Where did these people come from, were they following us on tour now?

Other than spending time with Justin today I was excited about the golf cart and the beer. They let you have them both at the same time, how great is that! Justin said that I was going to play with him, but I didn't see that happening because I was never going to get the hang of golf.

Halfway through the course I actually was enjoying myself. I was terrible at golf but it was relaxing and it was fun, in its own way. Justin seemed to be having a great time and was simply happy that I was having a good time. I still have to say the golf cart was the best part, ok maybe I take that back. The making out against the golf cart at the ninth hole was the best part of the whole day.

The studio was very productive. I literally walked in there and recorded a song from start to finish in just a few hours. That doesn't happen too often. I guess that means the song was meant to be. I had been so focused on what I was doing that I missed a phone call from Kia. I returned her call but all I got was a voice mail. We have been playing phone tag for an entire week. I really missed my best friend.

I could hear the phone ringing from inside booth. I literally bolted out of there to talk to her. I needed some kind of normalcy that only she could offer.

"Hello!!"I was out of breath and attempting to be cool and collected.

"Hey Sugar, finally we catch each other."

"I know it has been crazy the last couple weeks for me. Schedule is ridiculous, but I'm not complaining.... yet."

"I am excited we will get to see you on Monday. Finally you will be home for a couple days."

"I'm happy to finally get to see everyone again. Let's hope it isn't a repeat of the last trip home." I will never go home again if it turns out bad.

"We had so much fun at that concert."

"We had a blast that night... but the night before is what I am referring to."

"Oh the Jessica thing, honey she isn't going to be anywhere near that venue. Don't worry about that."

"I talked to Bob, he said he was coming. She is his wife after all."

"Well, soon to be ex-wife."

"What?" I was shocked. I never thought they would separate.

"He left her a couple weeks ago. His suspicions were correct, she was cheating."

"Wow, I had no clue. I mean I had heard she cheated before but I thought things were better. He didn't say anything and I talked to him last week." Makes me think that the events of my last trip home were her trying to hide something.

"He seems fine about all of it. He just moved out and filed for divorce. She tried to say that nothing was going on but Bob said he walked in on, literally walked in on them and turned around and walked out of the house."

"I don't think I could have done that. I am sure I would have started pounding on someone."

"Yea, me to but he is doing okay and is out making his rounds again."

"Well good for him... enough about them. What do you want to do when we get in town?"

"Honestly I am good with just hanging out." Did Kia just say, she wanted to hangout? Who was I  talk to.

"Maybe we could go out after the show? There are plenty of bars on the strip?"

"Can you two go out anywhere and not be accosted?"

"Well we can arrange for something. I really hate to cut this short my I am getting the evil eye from Justin. He is starving and we have to finish something before we leave."

"Go feed the growing boy. Love you, seen you soon!"

****

"Where are we right now?" The bus driver has really hated today. I was a little anxious to get to the venue. Finally we pass a sign that says, Pittsburgh exit 2 miles. I started doing the happy dance down the isle of the bus. Justin seems very tired today and I have way too much energy for him.

"What's wrong babe?"

"Just tired, I never sleep well on the bus."

"I'm sorry if we would have stayed at the hotel last night and drove out here this morning you would feel like this."

"It's fine, I will take a nap at the hotel."

Great now I feel bad that I made him sleep on the bus. I just wanted to see everyone. I was excited. I don't normally get excited about going home to Ohio. This was a new thing for me. Plus there was something special planned for this show. I was going to preview the single and I was going to cover a song that was fitting. Plus there was something special for my mom. I had been rehearsing with the band the last week trying to get these simple performances down. I had to make sure it was going to be good because all my friends and family were going to be at this show. Having everyone here in Pittsburgh was pretty amazing.

I step off the bus and yell "Home Sweet Home". Meredith goes into the hotel and checks us all in. It was roughly nine in the morning so there was time to take a nap and get ready for the day ahead of us. We walk into the hotel and the manager comes up to us and says, "The city of Pittsburgh has welcomed you with open arms. I hope you stay he is pleasant and everything that we can offer. Thanks for choosing us to stay with." We chuckled to ourselves because we don't choose the hotels. They are already chosen and booked when the tour starts.

We jump on the Elevator. Someone behind us goes. ‘Oh my god!' I still have to laugh because it is funny but it is something I would have done myself if I would have saw Justin in a random place. But this person is now saying, "Oh my god, Melissa is that you?" I turn to see who it is. I am near my hometown so maybe I do know someone that lives here.

"Holy shit, Heather?"

"Yes. Oh my god. I had to no idea you were staying in this hotel.... I am just shocked. We haven't talked in a very long time. Life has really made us go in to many different directions."

"It really has. When you moved, we really lost contact."

"I know I never wanted that. You were my best friend in the world."

"Life happens.... I'm sorry this is my boyfriend Justin. Justin this is Heather, one of my oldest and dearest friends."

"It's nice to meet you. I am glad that I have finally got to meet you. Who knew it would be in a hotel in Pittsburgh of all places."

            I turned to Justin and told him to go ahead and head to the room and get some sleep. I knew that is what he wanted to do and I would join him in a few minutes.

"So, how are you?"

"I am doing ok, but let's go back a few steps. Justin Timberlake? How in the world did that happen?"

"By chance actually."

"What a chance that was. Where? When?"

"I was in Las Vegas for a wedding. My friends and I left there and went to Cancun. Well by some miracle he ended up sitting next to me. We ended up getting to know each other on the plane, we instantly clicked and honestly from that day forward we have been together."

"It's funny how life throws things at you. I guess that's what I get for living on an Army base for the last five years. So other than having the uber famous boyfriend what are you doing now?"

"Actually a bunch of things. I have an album that is going to release in a couple months that I have worked my tail off on. I have a line for William Rast that will debut in September."

"What? I am so happy that you have finally put your voice where it deserves. You have wanted to design clothing for as long as I can remember. That is an extreme goal you have accomplished there."

"Well it hasn't released yet. So who knows what it will do..." I had faith that it was going to do big things but in this business, you never really know. "Enough about me, what is going on with you? How is that baby of yours?"

"She isn't a baby anymore. She is now seven and bigger than ever. She is at home with my mom in Washington. We are here for business with Sean."

"How is Sean doing?"

"He is wonderful. We finally got married and we are actually expecting a baby in February."

"Wow, congratulations." A baby... "Are you guys coming to the show tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow? We didn't know, I'm sorry we don't have tickets."

"I can handle that. If you want to come, let me know or my assistant Meredith know and we will have it arranged that there be tickets waiting for you at the gate."

"You are still so wonderful. I miss you. I will talk to Sean but I am pretty sure we can come."

"Well I am going to run. Justin is probably waiting on me to sleep. We drove here all night and we both are really tired. Hopefully I will see you at the show. If not it was great running into you. Take care."

            She had really changed. She would have never given up on everyone around her, especially from her parents. I hope that I don't end up like that. I understand moving on and making a life for yourself but it is very hard to just simply cut everyone out. I guess that was just how I thought. I don't know what I would do without my mom, Kia, Steve, or Stacy. I just wasn't sure life would be complete without them in my life.

****

"HEELLLLOOOOO SSUGGARR!!!" I hear Steve from the other side of the city block. I am so antsy. It really hadn't been that long since I saw them but I miss everyone.

"Damn girl, you look skinny." I love hearing that from someone that is a freaking toothpick.

"Hush your mouth Kia. I am not that skinny."

"No, you are really skinny. Like you lost twenty pounds, but you didn't have twenty to lose."

"I have no idea what you are talking about because I eat like you wouldn't believe now."

            Spending quality time with these people really made me think that all the stressing that I was doing over this line was not something to really complain about. They had real problems that they were dealing with. Steve is on the verge of losing his job. The company had been bought out and they were downsizing. Anyone that has been there less than ten years was more or likely going to be asked to leave the company. I felt so bad for them. There wasn't a lot I could do for them. Other than give them money but I knew that they would never accept it.

            We shut down an entire restaurant for dinner. My mom and step dad had arrived with my older brother, his daughter, and his girlfriend, along with my younger brother and his girlfriend. I knew they would arrive late. My life has always revolved around people being late. My older sister's were all there. I had half sisters that lived in Cleveland that came all the way down to Pittsburgh for this dinner and the show. How great were they? Having my entire family and extended family meet Justin meant so much to me. I never introduce any of my boyfriends to my family. It's a personal thing. They don't get that privileged that often.

            My friends from everywhere were here as well. Of course Steve and Kia were front and centered. Stacy and Mike finally arrived, late of course. Bob was here with his son but without the Mrs. The room had been full of family and friends along with some crew and dancers. We invited everyone but some of them haven't made it in town yet.

            As dinner is about to be served Justin grabs my hand and stands up to speak.

"I want to first off thank everyone for coming today. This is something that Melissa has wanted to do for a very long time, but our schedules have been kind of crazy. So we are glad everyone could come today. I know that I am a stranger to all of you but I wanted to make sure they you were all aware of how much this woman means to me..." He paused for a minute trying to go back to the moment. "I walked onto that plane looking for some vacation time. I needed to get away from everyone and everything. My personal life had been shattered to pieces and I was finally putting it back together. I wanted to breathe for a little while, but little did I know that she would breathe the life back into me. For the first time in very long time, I am truly happy. I love this woman more than anything in the world. I am beyond proud of her for being the person she is, for the work that she has done with William Rast, and the amazing job she has done on her album. I can't wait for you all to hear it. Anyways I just wanted to thank everyone for coming, I hope you have a great time!"

Now that there wasn't a dry eye in the room, I stood to speak. "Wow, I have to follow that?" everyone chuckles, I guess that's what I am here for. "Thank you, everyone thank you so much for coming. I have missed everyone so much. This is just a small thank you for standing beside me as I ventured into a different life..." I paused because the door opened. In walked Aaron. I smiled, I was glad he decided to come. He thought it would be a bad decision because he didn't know how Justin would react. I demanded that he come, and everything was fine. He mumbles "Sorry" and sits down. "I am not going to stand up here and give a big speech but I wanted to thank everyone for coming and I hope you have a great couple days here in Pittsburgh and enjoy the show. And to Justin, what's funny is, you are the one that breathed the life back into me. You made me see that there really are good people left in this world and made me believe in finding your ‘other half". I love you."

            I sit down and everyone begins to eat and Justin stands and walks down to Aaron. Aaron stands and Justin reaches out and shakes his hand and hugs him. I sit a couple seats down from this and I am just watching them. Justin says, "Thank you for being there for Melissa. She really needed someone and you were there for her. She needed you. I appreciate everything that you did for her." Aaron nods his head then says, "Anytime. She is an amazing girl and she deserves to be happy. I knew the moment she told me about you, and not even knowing who you really were, I knew that you were someone important to her. I saw the pain she went through with Matt so I knew that someone had to be there with her or to help her see that there were men in the world that weren't Matt. Thank you for treating her the way you do."

Justin laughs and says, "Man I thought I only had to worry about Steve kicking my ass if I screwed things up with her, now I have to worry about Aaron as well." Everyone laughs and I say, "My friends love me."

 With my back towards the crowd and head tilted downwards facing the crowd I had the microphone held straight above my head. I could almost feel the blood leaving my face. I was about to kick off this show. I am standing the very top of the lift, I feel my knees go a little weak. I reach up and feel the necklace around my neck... he is always with me... I open my mouth with the opening line...

"You Know I'm A Dreamer... But My Heart's Of Gold, I Had To Run Away High, So I Wouldn't Come Home Low, Just When Things Went Right, It Doesn't Mean They Were Always Wrong, Just Take This Song, And You'll Never Feel, Left All Alone......

The crowd was purely amazing.  "I'm On My Way... I'm On My Way... Home Sweet Home... Tonight, Tonight... I'm On My Way... I'm On My Way... Home Sweet Home"

            This song had true meaning tonight. Who knew that I would have my dreams coming true. I had never thought in a million years I would be standing on Justin Timberlake's stage just moments before he was taking the stage and singing three songs. Two of my very own songs, that were going to be released on my album. My album. That thought still scared me a little.

            The crowd had done a standing ovation and was screaming louder and longer than normal. Most of this crowd had to be my friends and family. This was too much.

"Thank you Pittsburgh. It feels great to be home. The next song I am going to sing is a song that I wrote for my mother. She is here tonight." I point at her and smile. "In all my life I have never met someone so strong willed. She has made me the person I am standing here today. This song is for her. No more worries Mom!"

The music starts, "Mama you taught me to do the right things... So now you have to let your baby fly... You have given me everything that I will need... To make it through this crazy thing called life...." I can see my mom staring at me. My voice gets a little shaky but I start the chorus.

"And I know you watched me grow up... And you only want what's best for me... And I like I found the answer to your prayers... And he is good. So good... He treats your little girl like a real man should... He is good. So good..." I look over to my left and look Justin in the eyes, "He makes promises he keeps... No, he's never going to leave... So don't you worry about me... Don't you worry about me..."

            I can see not only my mother is in tears but Kia and Stacy as well are in tears. Mission Accomplished. This is actually the first time Justin has heard the song, one of the rare songs that he hasn't heard. I look over to my left and he is still standing there watching me backstage. He wipes his eyes. He must have been crying as well.

"Well, now that I made everyone cry, let me give you an extra treat. This next song is actually the first single. It is called "Finding My Own Way." When I first started writing the song, it was supposed to be about me finding my own way in life, but it turned out to be finding my own way to record a song, and deal with Justin looking at me as the artist he was producing and not his girlfriend. But of course it can be taking in so many different ways. So anyways it will hit the radios soon but this is a treat just for Pittsburgh."

            I knew that this moment had to an event. Everything could come down to this very moment. With a nod from Justin, I gave it everything I had.

            "I can hear my heart pound... Like there's never been another sound... In this whole wide world around, I am the only one now... And I can feel my bones shake... Like my body had an earthquake... And the walls are about to cave... It's about to go down..."

                "So let me down easy... Let me down slow... Let down easy... Let me down slow... Everybody's got to hit the bottom of... Everybody's gotta find their own way... To go."

"And I can feel his words creep out... Like I never had the chance to speak up... It comes so fast I can hardly breathe, I can hardly breathe now... I don't want to be alone now... I feel so far from home now... It's a game I don't want to watch, play out..."

I stood there for a moment, just taking it all in. This was really reality now. I was frozen in that spot, but I knew Justin was about to take the stage. I walked off to find Justin still standing next to the stage. "There are no more worries for your mother. I'm not going anywhere. I love you, you did amazing"."

Rushing into the green room, I changed and went to sit in the audience. I was going to enjoy this show with my friends before I had to join him on stage. Security wouldn't let me go alone now. They stayed in the crowd the entire time I was there. It was so funny to have people turn around and take pictures of me in the audience or to have people ask if they could take a picture with me. I had become used to it over time with Justin, but they were asking me.

            Justin's show was truly amazing. He knew exactly how to work the crowd and he knew what to do to make people scream, in and out of the bedroom.

****

            We are about to walk into Club Diesel, one of the biggest and very successful bars in Pittsburgh. The owners were aware that we were coming but by the look of the security guy at the front entrance, he is surprised to see us. The crowd that has gathered outside was lined up around the building. This club was never a VIP style club when I had came here years ago, but it has gotten so busy in the last year that there is a waiting list to get it. Luckily I am with the biggest celebrity on the planet because everyone with us walked right in the front door.

Once those girls, you know the ones I am talking about. The ones with the skirt that is too short and not even cute to make up for it, bleach blonde hair, spray tanned and easy wrote on their foreheads see that it is Justin Timberlake walking into the club they are immediately kissing ass to get through the front doors. I heard one of them say something about they would take that man home tonight. I have a warning for them or any girl attempting to get close to my man tonight, he is mine. I will be the only one going home with him tonight.

Justin and I walk in hand and hand right into the VIP area they had prepared for us. I guess the owner really did his job because even the bar tender that we had was surprised that we were her guests. You would think he would have at least told his staff, but it was a good thing they didn't know. At least they couldn't spread the word that we Justin were coming. At first she was really nervous and shaking but Justin made fun of her and she calmed down. Sometimes laughter is the best thing to get over embarrassment.

The owner came up to us and said that the entrance to the club had been shut down. The bar was beyond full and that if we wanted to go onto the dance floor we could, the security would make sure that we were safe. Justin tried to tell him that it wasn't necessary that he was used to dealing with huge crowds of people. But he also understood that his bar's name was on the line if something went wrong with him here.

Justin leaned into me and asked if I wanted to dance. We walked onto the dance floor and started dancing, really dirty dancing. I had never seen Justin like this. We had been to bars before, we have been really drunk together but this was a side of him I had never seen before, I was not complaining, I really liked it. He was touching me in ways that he shouldn't be touching me because I wanted more. I wanted all of him. Finally I couldn't take it anymore, I whispered in his ear... "Come with me to the bathroom." He knew exactly what I wanted.

We are running down the hallway, hand in hand stopping to kiss up against the way, making me want him even more. Finally we reached the private bathroom, I shut the door behinds us and I had him pinned against the wall. I reached down and locked the door. I was going to get exactly what I wanted. He started removing clothing with frenzy and lifted me up around his waist. I latch my legs around him. The sound was very loud in the club and I was glad for that, because I was not being quiet by any means but neither was Justin.

            I don't know how long we were gone but we walk out of the bathroom and Kia is yelling, "There you two are, I don't even want to know what you were doing in there."

"What's up Kia?" Trying to wipe the ‘I just had sex in the bathroom look off my face.

"Nothing, we just got worried, we haven't seen you guys in a while. There are some crazy fans here tonight that are out to find Justin. It's funny to hear them talk about him like this big ‘celebrity'."

"It's weird because we just know him as Justin."

Justin chimes in, "I am standing right here, I can hear you."

Kia laughs and says, "Yea we know." I love that my friends love him as much as I do.

            We returned inside the VIP area we are dancing around just having fun... I turn around to order a drink from the bartender and there stands someone that shouldn't be in Pittsburgh. Someone that shouldn't be standing this close to me...

"Ashley?"

I woke up with the sun in my eyes coming through the blinds thinking, ‘Wow, how much did I drink last night?' The sun is hurting my eyes so bad. I must have drunk too much last night. I get up and pull the dark curtain over the blinds. As I climb back into bed, Justin pulls me closer to him, wrapped up in his arms, naked. I assume we had sex last night or this morning... whatever you can consider it. We both must have been very drunk because there are bruises on my arms, which look like he has me pinned down pretty rough. He has marks along his arms that look like they are from my nails. What happened here last night?

Finally I climb out of bed and walk into the bathroom. I see that there are bruises on my thighs as well. When I see those, all the moments of last night's events started to flutter back. I could remember every single detail. I now remember the amazing rough sex with Justin. But I also remember exactly how the night ended before we returned to the hotel. There was a minor issue....

You know just when you think your world has changed and people have moved on you get a realization that sometimes people, they just never get past things. And sometimes there are people that live in a different world then the rest of us. That's the case with who is standing right in front of me. Drama was about to unfold. Right here in this bar, right in front of everyone. But it had to be dealt with. I wasn't going to let her walk into this bar, and think she can get away with anything she wants.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I am standing right in front of her, looking directly into her face. I could feel the blood beginning to boil. Why on earth would she be here, in Pittsburgh? Didn't she get the hints when Justin told her to stay away? Didn't she take the legal papers he filed seriously?

"I thought Justin would need a good piece of ass... since it's been a while for him."

"What are you talking about?" Of course I am talking with my hands and they are flying around.

"Honey, I am sorry to be the one to inform you but Justin isn't happy with you. He has made it very clear to me that he is unhappy." I wish she wasn't pregnant because I wouldn't hesitate for a moment to just beat the living hell out of her. I wanted to so bad. Why did she have to be pregnant... if she wasn't pregnant than we wouldn't have been dealing with any of this.

"Oh really, he wasn't saying that about five minutes ago when we were fucking in the bathroom." My voice is getting louder and louder, "Justin has everything he needs and wants right here. If he wasn't happy, he would be gone by now. I satisfy my man more than you could ever even think about doing." Kia has now come over to see what is going on. When she see's who it is, she is pissed off. "What the fuck are you doing here?" We really are a lot alike.

Ashley gets snippy, "I'm sorry I don't know who you are but this doesn't involve you. You need to back up." She is bobbing her head back and forth like her words actually meant something.

"Bitch please, if you are anywhere near my best friend or her boyfriend this does involve me. So why don't you take your skank ass out of this bar and leave us the fuck alone. You are a nobody that wishes she had Melissa's man. Keep dreaming sweetie, it isn't going to happen. Go find your baby's daddy. That is if you can narrow down the search."

"I am here to see Justin. He called me. He asked me to meet him here, in this bar, in Pittsburgh."

            Was she serious? I knew that there wasn't any possible way that this was true. I didn't even have to defend him, I knew that this was complete bullshit on her part. Security has now rushed into the scene. "Melissa there is issue that we need to take care of?"

"Yes, she needs to be removed from the premises"

"I am not leaving, get Justin. He asked me to meet him here." She is determined to see him. So I told Kia to get Justin. He walks over and is like "What the fuck."

"Justin baby they are trying to make me..."

He interrupts her, in a tone I have never heard from him. "Don't fucking baby me. You are not my baby. That is not my baby, I want NOTHING to do with you."

"Justin you know you love me. Why don't you just fess up to it?"

"I don't love you. I have never even thought about you other than that one drunken mistake of a night. What happened to you? You have turned into this psycho stalker. This wasn't the Ashley I thought I knew."

"You told me you loved me."

"I am damn sure I didn't because I never use that world with someone that is just a piece of ass. And to top it off you were probably at the top of the list..."

"I was?"

He smiles really big, "Yes, you were at the top of that list. However the list was ‘Worst fuck of all time." She gets really quiet.

"You should really stop pretending in front of your girlfriend it is getting old."

"You seriously have an issue. You need some kind of mental evaluation. You have totally made up an entire relationship between us that never nor will it ever exist. I think it is time you leave. Don't come within 100 yards from me or Melissa. I will have you arrested."

"You have to have a restraining order for that."

"Well aren't you a smart one now. It will be ordered in the morning. Trust me on that one. Now get the fuck out of here."

"Babe, don't do this just because you are trying to keep your girlfriend in the dark."

Justin looks even worse now, "I don't know how many times or ways I can fucking tell you that this, this thing you seem to think we have. It doesn't exist. You have made it all up in your mind. When will you come to terms with that? You have got to realize that you have a child on the way. Do you even know who the father is yet? Do you realize that this child is going to suffer if you don't get your head screwed on straight?"

"This is your child Justin. I have told you countless times."

"That child is NOT mine. The doctor has confirmed that."

"This is your child. Why can't you see that?"

"Why can't you see that this is not my child?"

I interrupt them not because I am about to implode on her, "You will never get it through you thick fucking head. Justin does NOT love you, nor will he ever. Justin is not the father of your child. I am with Justin. I will always be with Justin. I will be his wife and the mother of his children one day. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you will be sane again."

She just rolls her eyes, which makes me want to start pounding her in the face.

"Melissa, I am not sure who you think you are but you cannot tell me that I have to leave the bar."

The owner has come up behind me now. "You're right Ashley, I can't tell you to leave..."" I point behind her, "But he can."

            Security removed her, but that doesn't mean I have calmed down. She is a piece of work that is for sure. How could someone want to live in that delusion? It doesn't make sense to me.

Justin walks over to me and grabs my hand, "I'm sorry that I have involved you in this situation. She is crazy to say the least. Please don't let her ruin this night for you."

"I'm sorry, I am just a little ticked off and my blood pressure is through the roof."

"Do you want to go to the hotel?"

"No, I am fine. Just need a minute."

            He sat there with me just holding my hand, and then he starts laughing. "She honestly thought the sex with her was good... It may have been good on her part because, well I am pretty damn good in bed but my god she has never had sex like we just had in the bathroom. Wow.... that was pretty damn amazing." I am hysterically laughing now; my face falls into his lap and I'm just taking in this moment with him. I love the smell of him. His scent is so natural yet it is so him. He was truly the love of my life. How did I get dealt the large stick this time? I whispered, "I love you. I am so in love with you" The smile on my face could have been mistaken for the world's largest cheesy smile, but I was just happy! I really loved him. I Melissa Roberts was hopelessly in love with Justin Timberlake.

Justin woke to up find me drinking a cup of coffee from room service without him. "Where's mine?" I bobbed my head back and forth and said, "I thought maybe you other girlfriend was going to get it for you?" I crawled in to bed with him and a nice hot cup of coffee that he had wanted so bad. Did he really think I would forget to get him a cup? He laid the cups down and climbed on top of me. "Honey, she wishes she could wake up to ... this, every morning and bring me coffee."

"She has no idea what she is missing." He was being sarcastic yet serious at the same time.

"She really doesn't." I was a very lucky woman to have a man like him. He is pretty amazing.

"What do you want to do before we leave Pittsburgh?"

"At this very moment...." I reach down and grab a hold of him and the gentlest way and make sure he knows exactly what I want ..."I only want one thing."

"I think I can handle that request..." he starts kissing me, then my nose, then my neck, then my chest....

            So the last morning in Pittsburgh was a selfish choice, but I was happy with the choice that we had made. Everyone had been out just as late as we were so they were not up and moving around yet. The bus was leaving at two o'clock sharp and here it was one thirty and we were just now jumping in the shower. Priorities I guess.

He finally sees all the bruises, while were in the shower. "Where are these from babe?" he is caressing them. There weren't any contusions under them just light bruises.

"You don't remember last night?" I smile really big.

"Depends on what you're talking about?"

"Well these are from last night..." I point at the ones on my thighs, "... along with these ones"

"Oh my god, I did that to you?" he looks angry at himself. "I remember the sex from last night, I remember it being pretty damn amazing but I didn't think I was holding onto you that rough."

"It's fine. I bruise easy."

"I feel so bad." He kisses the bruises.

"Don't even worry about it. The sex was worth these bruises that will go away in a couple days."

"I will have to remember to be more careful." He is seriously mad at himself

"You will do no such thing. That sex was perfect. If that means I get a bruise, then I do."

"You do like it rough... "

"Exactly."

We throw our things into the suitcases and run by and tell everyone goodbye and try to make it to the bus before we piss off the driver and the tour manager. It's not like we have a show tonight, its tomorrow but it's a sixteen hour drive to that next stop. Let's get this trip over with. At least I will have time to finish some things on the bus. Maybe even write a few new songs.

Getting back on the road and finishing out this leg of the tour was Justin's main priority right now. He is into the groove of touring and being in a different every city. He loved being on stage nearly every night. I on the other hand was overwhelmed with everything for William Rast that I haven't really enjoyed the last month or so, on the road. I have been spending nearly every waking moment working on the line. I had to get the runway outfits finished plus finish the entire fall line. Things were hopefully going to start just falling together and Trace was on his way to meet us in Dallas, TX to work on things from the road with me for a couple days. We were on the last few weeks of the tour. Eight shows left to be exact.

            Justin has become very antsy, Trace should have landed already but he hasn't called. They were going to hit the golf course today for lunch. He comes into the living room that I have turned into a sewing room and simply asks, "Melissa, when did he say his flight was coming in?" I was irritated and I was taking it out on everyone around me. In lamest terms I was being a bitch. And unfortunately Justin is the closest person to me and I have been taking it out on him the last couple days.

"I'm not his assistant Justin, I don't know." I was a snippy with him.

He shakes his head, "I'm sorry I bothered you. I see you are still in this mood."

"I'm not in a mood Justin... I am just busy and tired."

"Do you think I am not busy? Do you think that I am not tired? You need to learn how to adjust your work. You can't handle everything Melissa. It is going to wear you down faster than you think. This is why we hire people to help us."

"I know."

"Yea... I know you know" he voice becomes very stern. A voice I have never heard from him before. "But you still insist on doing everything. You didn't even come to bed last night, have you been in here all night?"

"Yes, I have to have this stuff done before Trace gets here."I'm irritated that he is irritated with me working on his clothing line.

He is shaking his head again. He turns to walk out of the room and mumbles, "I want my girlfriend back." Then he slams the door.

            I felt the lump in my throat start to make its way to be noticed. I started to cry. This was officially our first fight. I never wanted to fight with him. He trusted me with his entire business and has put all this pressure on me, and then he wants me to drop everything when he wants to do something. I know that I can't do everything, but I was sure going to try. I am a perfectionist and most times, that don't let me give someone else control.  Was I supposed to drop everything now? Just quit everything I had started?

            I must have fallen asleep at the table because I woke up two hours later, on the couch with a blanket covering me. However I wasn't sure how I had gotten to the couch or how I managed to find a blanket. My only guess was that Justin moved me and made sure I had a blanket. When I finally adjust my eyes to what was going on around me, I see Justin watching me. How creepy is it to watch someone sleep? He has a worried look on his face. I hate that look on his face. Nothing good ever comes out of that look.

 "Is there a problem with us?"

Looking stunned I managed to get out, "What?" I sit up to make sure I wasn't dreaming this.

"I have barley seen you in three solid weeks. If we are not having sex or on stage performing, I never see you anymore. I miss the Melissa I feel in love with."

"Are you... ending this?" The tears start to run down my face.

He comes over to the couch and sits down next to me grabs my hand, "I would never do that, I love you. But if you're not happy..." he paused, closes his eyes then locks eyes with me "I just want you to be happy. I love you. More than I think I could ever explain but I do. I want to spend every waking moment with you the rest of my life... but if for some reason you are not happy I won't hold you back."

I interrupt him. "I fall more in love with you every day... I am beyond happy with you. Where is this coming from?"

"You have just been so distant lately that I didn't know if it was an issue in our relationship or what was going on."

"I have spent every waking moment trying to make you happy. I would never want to disappoint you. I have to make everything perfect you. I don't want to let you down."

"Nothing you could do would ever disappoint me or let me down."

"This clothing line is a huge deal. It's a part of who you are and I have to make sure that every detail is perfect. This album is on your record label... it represents you... of course it has to be perfect..."

 "I love you for you.  If the fashion line flops, it does. If the album only sells one copy, that means I have the only copy that matters. I love you. I don't want to see you stress over all of this and become someone you are not to make me happy over money. Material things are not as important as our relationship."

"I'm sorry. I have been distant but it's not because I'm not happy. I promise you I will release some of the strings. I thought this is what you wanted."

"I want you. That's it. Just you." He really is the greatest man I have ever met in my life.

"I love you." I kiss him and lay in his arms.

We are quite for just a moment then he had to say this.

"By the way, I spoke to Trace he cancelled his flight. He decided to stay in New York."

I sit up. "Why did he do that, there are things we need to handle."

"He has concerns just as well as I do. We need you to let go of some of the strings."

I raise my eyebrows, "Concerns?"

"Well, do you remember when Kia said something about your weight while we were in Pittsburgh?"

"Yea, what does this have to do with anything?"

"Well, I never noticed it before. I should have but I didn't. You never eat anymore. I honestly don't think it's on purpose. You just don't make time for it. It isn't a priority for you."

"Justin, I don't have an eating disorder."

"I am not saying that you have an eating disorder, but I am saying that you have to change some things. You cannot run yourself into the ground. You have to hire some people or something to help. I cannot watch you do this to yourself, for me. I just can't sit back and watch you fall apart."

"I would do anything in the world for you."

"Then I plead to you to hire someone, pull some interns that are already at William Rast, do something. Trace and I both agree that you need someone to help you. He has agreed to pay for whoever you need."

I climb on top of him and sit in his lap. "I will change these things, I promise." I start kissing his neck... "I will arrange for the interns to help..." I kiss down his neck...

            He lifts his head as if he almost wanted me to stop, "Mel, you cannot use sex... to distract me... This... is... serious."

            I laugh, "I would never..." I kiss him more... "...do something like that..."

***

I know that Justin needs more attention and I am trying very hard. It was three weeks before fashion week. We arrived in L.A two days ago for the last two shows of the tour. I was nearly done with everything for the fashion show. And of course all the pieces would fall together once I got to New York City. I had actually entrusted three interns to handle some of the things that needed done. I still have a lot of my plate, but I let some of it go.

We were leaving in the morning. I wasn't sure how excited I was about it. As I lay here alone in bed I wonder how I had gone from the small town girl to this extreme business person in just six months. How did I manage to almost lose the love of my life because of this? After this fashion show I was going to change the way I do things. I had to be focus on Justin and myself again. Then focus on the music or fashion or find a way to manage them both and still have things the way I want. Justin has been doing this for years. I should just listen to him. He is a perfectionist just like I am. If he could handle passing some things off, so could I.

I really wish Justin was here. He was at a meeting with some of his business partners. I had bailed out of the meeting because I was worn out. But here I was, just lying in bed thinking of all the times I should have spent with Justin instead of working non-stop. Finally he comes home around midnight and I was still awake. He climbs into bed and curls up next to me and he feels my body trembling. I feel like the worst person on earth. I have wasted too much time.

"I'm so sorry."

"Babe, what's wrong? You're crying."

"I have been working so much lately and I know that I have been a bad girlfriend. I know that I have been an even worse person lately. I am really sorry. I promise that I will make changes as soon as this fashion show is over and done with.

"You are not a bad girlfriend. You just didn't know how to balance in this business. That doesn't make you a bad person. It's all fine, I promise you."

"I am just so overwhelmed. I am used to being busy but not like this. And the pressure to succeed is beyond belief."

"Mel, please don't think about all this. You are amazing... Let's get a good night's rest and we will deal with things as they come."

It wasn't normal for Justin to just drop things like that. He was the one that was bugging me to pass things to other people, get some interns to help, and stop stressing over all the things that needed done. Maybe he was just tired, who knows.

The next morning I wake up and Justin is missing from the bed. This is becoming a habit. I looked around the bedroom and he has packed the suitcases already and was ready for our flight. He must have been up for hours, I was glad he packed because we literally had to be at the airport in an hour. I slept on the plane. I seemed to not to be able to catch up on sleep. I was always tired.

"Mel, wake up we are about to land." That voice was familiar but I wasn't expecting it. I shake my head. I must have been sleeping.

"Mel." I knew I was awake this time.

"Steve? What are you doing on the plane?'

"Gang Vacation, remember?"

"Oh my god, I totally forgot. I'm sorry guys I am headed to New York City. I can't go on vacation."

"I am sorry to break this to you. But we are about to land in Turks and Caicos!"

"I'm sorry, what?" I turn to look at Justin. "We have to be in NYC... today? I can't blow that off. I have to be there."

"I took care of it. After all I do own the company. They were never expecting you this week anyways. We were going as a precaution. After this past week I knew what I had to do. We had to get out of Hollywood. We had to get out of the fashion world. We had to get away from the music world. A week at the beach will do us all good."

"But I have things that have to be done."

"Yes, you do, but all that can wait until we get there. The only think you have to do for the next seven days is relax and have a good time. This isn't up for negotiation. You can take that ‘I am going to kill someone' look off your face. I made this decision and this is what we are going to do"

            What just happened? I had been kidnapped and taken to Turks and Caicos. Could I use the vacation? Yes I could but it comes at a very bad time. With the fashion show this close I shouldn't be off at the beach with the possibility of no phone or internet reception.  Justin looks at me and says, "You promised... I would like to cash that it right now... I love you." I wasn't going to argue, I guess I wasn't going to New York City.

            I step off the plane and pick up my phone to call Trace to inform him and everyone I wasn't coming but I had a slight problem. My phone was missing its battery.

"Justin?"

"Yes, dear."

"Where is my battery to my phone?"

"Oh that. Yea... that is in the bag with your laptop."

"And where exactly is that?"

"On its way to New York City." The smirk on his face is so cute, but really annoying me at this moment.

"You're joking right?"

"Nope."

"Justin, how am I going to make a phone call?"

"You have no need to. None of us do."

"What are you talking about?"

"When I scheduled this vacation, I made sure to tell everyone they are not allowed to carry their phone with them. The pilot took everyone's batteries when we got on the plane."

"So why exactly is mine in New York and everyone else's are with the pilot?"

"I knew you would sweet talk that pilot into giving it back to you." He was right, I would have.

"Ok well I need to tell Trace..."

"Done. He knew the entire time you weren't coming there this week."

"Meredith is going to..."

"Meredith knows what she is supposed to do this week, she is fine. Trace will instruct her to do anything that is needed... Mandy is with her as well. Your mother knows where you are. My mother knows where I am. Our Manager's, Our Agents, our PR all know where we are. There is no one we need to call. The gang is all here, who would you, need to call?"

I was irritated then it hit me what he just said, "Mandy is in NYC with Trace?"

"We have to trust them at some point. Trace promised me it will be completely professional between them from now on. He is happy with Anabelle. If they are going to screw up again, I guess it's better they do it now and get it over with."

"I sure hope they wouldn't go there again... I have to work Justin."

"No you don't and that word will not be used for seven days from ..." he looks down at his non-existent watch on his wrist "...NOW!"

"You're kidding right?"

"I am not. This is vacation and we are going to enjoy every moment of it. Relax... I love you."

            I caved in. I needed a break. I just didn't want it to be right now. I was going to spend the next seven days in Turks and Caicos whether I wanted to or not so I had better just enjoy it.

"I love you to. Let's go to the beach!"

Day One

The beautiful blue water is enough to take your mind off anything. The idea of having endless water makes you really look at life as endless possibilities.

Justin leads us into the beach house that is ours for the week. I never for a moment thought he would disappoint with his arrangements. He knows how to set up an amazing vacation. The house is secluded, as everything is in Justin's world. We had a private beach, our own pool, a Jacuzzi that basically sat in the sand. It was going to be an amazing week. That is if I can stop stressing over all of the details I should be taking care of in New York City. And I know by that look on Justin's face, he knows what I am thinking about. He simply looks at me and shakes his head. I mouth, "I'm sorry" to him.

I put down the luggage I was carrying and went out to the back patio that overlooks the ocean. Why did this have to be so difficult for me? Why couldn't I simply relax and forget about all the work that needed done? All the models that still needed fitted.  The photos that needed to be adjusted for the booklet at the actual show, the lighting, the music... all these thoughts are going through my mind, I couldn't relax. I knew that I was upsetting Justin and instead of that I end up leaving. I just go to the beach alone.

The waves crashing have always been my favorite thing about the beach. I loved that sound but today it feels like every time the wave crashes into the sand it's a part of my world crashing down. I am being overly dramatic, I know that but it explains what I feel like at this very moment.

I couldn't have been gone five minutes and I heard someone coming up behind me. I really wanted to be alone. I wanted to cry to myself, I wanted to be the horrible girlfriend from a distance for a little while instead of in front of him. But it wasn't Justin. It was Steve.

"Sugar, are you okay." I bury my face in my hands. "Mel, this is supposed to be vacation, just relax."

"I can't... I have too much to do." It's as if no one understands that.

"Vacation is supposed to be vacation. Leave all the work there and enjoy it here..." he points to probably the most amazing view I had ever seen in my life "...that's pretty amazing."

"Steve, I have the weight of Justin's company on my shoulders. I'm not exaggerating at all. If this line fails, I fail. I cannot fail Justin, I just can't. Not to even mention that my album has really been suffering because of the fashion line."

"Do you really think it's going to fail?" He is giving me the look that he is about to throw out the bullshit flag.

"It could."

"But do you think it will?"

"Honestly, no. But this has my name all over it and it's attached to his name. I would never want to make his name go down because of something I have done."

"I have seen some of the things you have done in the past. I saw the dress that was designed by you for Kia that she wore at Justin's album release. You really need to have a little more faith in yourself. You are more talented than you ever give yourself credit for."

"I just can't let him down."

            I think this has what it comes down to for me. I wouldn't for a moment want to jeopardize Justin's credibility or affect something that he has worked so hard to accomplish.

"Do you think he won't love you if you fail at this? Do you really think he is that kind of guy? Because Mel I can stand here and tell you a hundred times, a hundred different ways, that guy that is pacing around the room back there, he loves you more than anything in this world. He is not that guy. He is beyond worried about you."

"I know he loves me, I don't doubt that at all."

"Did you know that he called me a couple weeks ago and asked what he should do about you stressing out? He knows that you have the talent but it is stressing you out. He even thought about taking you off that fashion line."

"What? Why would he do that?"

"He is worried about you. He loves you. This fashion line is not worth him losing you." I felt my heart hit the ground.

"I would have never left the line. It's too close to being done."

"You need to let go of some of the strings, you have to let someone else do some of the work. It cannot be all up to you to finish them. He has a multi-million dollar company that employs hundreds... they can handle it."

"You have known me for how long? Do you really think I can let some twit screw something up that I can just get done myself?"

"I have to be honest with you right now." He lowers his head... "I have seen the gowns and clothing you have designed, they are wonderful however..."

"However what, Steven?"

"Mel, you belong on that stage. Seeing you in Pittsburgh, you belong on that stage. That's where you belong."

"I love being up there performing. It is my favorite thing to do. But this line has to be done first."

"I understand that but I think you need to focus on your album and... I can't even believe I am going to say this to you... You need to focus on Justin."

"Trust me, Justin get's attention..." I wouldn't deny myself ‘attention' so I knew Justin wasn't missing out on that attention.

"Whoa stop.... I am not meaning in the bedroom. You need to start focusing on you and Justin. He really loves you Mel and I could actually see this guy marrying you or I guess I should say I could see you marrying him. That is a far stretch for you, after the Matt situation."

"I want to marry him. I want to spend forever with him"

"Stressing him out about not eating and working nearly two days straight with no sleep or food really worries him. He loves you he doesn't want anything to happen to you. He has the right to worry."

"I really didn't realize I wasn't eating."

"He never thought you had a problem... just a work problem."

"I have always had a work problem."

"But you would go home at 5:00 and worry about work in the morning when you returned. Now you seem to think you have to work every waking moment of the day and night."

            Ok so now I feel like this is an intervention. Had I really worked as much as he is implying. I knew I had been working a lot, I knew that I didn't have a lot of time for me or Justin but I just thought things would slow down and it would all be fine. He must have assumed I wanted to be alone because he said, "I will leave you alone, please just give yourself a break" I did ask him to send Justin down here in a few minutes.

            I had to collect my thoughts and decide what to say to Justin. It's almost like we have had this discussion before. We have had this same argument before. Oh wait that is because we have. I for some reason can't get it through my head that he is telling me what he wants and I am not listening.

            When he finally came over to where I was sitting along the ocean line, he bends down behind me and wraps his arms around my shoulders, resting his chin on my head. And he says, "I'm sorry, I am being a little pushy with you. I... I just want my Mel back. Not the Melissa Roberts, the extreme workaholic."

"I hate to tell you this but that part of me will never go away. However I am going to give up pieces of my work. I am going to finish this fashion show, only because I can't completely give up now. But after fashion week, I will only summit my designs and ideas and someone else is going to have to take point." He nods his head as if he agrees.

"Does this mean we finally get to finish your album?" The smile on his face gets bigger and bigger.

"Yes it does. That's really where I want to be in my career right now. I can't have it all"

"Oh you can have it all... with some balance..." He has sat down next to me now. "I have it all. Well I have the career and I have the love of my life sitting next to me every step of the way. If that isn't having it all I don't know what is." I nuzzled my nose into his neck. I really loved this man. I was going to make sure I don't lose him.

Day Three

Sharing the beach house with two other couples was not exactly what we envisioned. Well for me at least it was not comforting to be in middle of the act and hear you friends in the next room over doing the same thing you are doing. It would be different if I didn't know the people but it wasn't not my cup of tea per say.

Justin and I have escaped and found our way down to the beach in the middle of the night.

The ocean seemed much calmer than it was earlier in the night as we all sat on the beach and reminisce about things we have done in our lives. Of course my friends proceed to inform Justin of all drunken mistakes I had made. I was glad that he is comfortable with my friends because he had some juicy stories to tell as well.

..."There was one time when Mel got really drunk at concert and ended up at this guy's house ....." I interrupt them there because I know where this story is going. "Hey now, that's enough stories about me."

Justin perks up and was like, "I want to hear it."

            "I really don't think you want to." I tried to tell him but he argued that he did so I blurted out, "Well, he was my booty call that night... it wasn't a random person... it was someone I had been hooking up with for a while... and we didn't even make it back to his place..."

"Whoa... ok maybe I don't want to hear this story."

"I told you, you didn't." I had the ‘I told you so' smirk on my face.

So, there were enough stories about me I was going to call someone else out. "Let's talk about Arkansas Stacy."

Her eyes get huge, "I don't even want to remember that night... or the next day!" He tries to hide her face.

Justin looks kind of confused, "What happened in Arkansas that was that dramatic?"

We both laugh and finally Stacy speaks up because she knows I am going to tell the story if she doesn't. "Well... it was my birthday weekend. And well I really drunk on a shot called ‘Sexual Alligators' which I still to this day couldn't tell you what was in it but if you drink enough of them, you may end up having sex with an alligator or someone from Arkansas that you still don't know their name." She lowers her head in embarrassment. There was laughter and "Ohh's" from everyone. "Shut up. The rest of you have had at least one, one night stand. Right?"

We all kind of just nod, not really wanting to say. Then it sparked up the "Have You's" game. So Stacy asked the first one, "Have you had a one night stand? & did you go back to their place?"

Kia is the first to speak up, of course. "I have. I hooked up with them at a concert and it wasn't worth the time I wasted let alone going back to his place." Ouch.

Steve turn, "I have, and normally I wouldn't go back to their place. It would either be in the car or in the bathroom or something like that." Kia chirps in and says, "Well I guess we can assume that he has had more than one."

Mike doesn't really want to answer the question but he does, "I had one, one night stand that turned into a relationship. So I doubt that counts." That doesn't count but its Mike. I am surprised that he actually did have a one night stand.

It's up to me, "I have had.... cough cough ... one night stands."

Steve's eyes are huge. "You have had more than ONE? Sugar I am shocked. And we all thought you were the innocent one." Justin has spit out his beer, he obviously knows better on that one.

"Well, I have. Anyways I never go back to their place or to mine for that matter. It is too personal to go home with them. If it is a one night stand, that is what it is. I don't want to wake up in a stranger's bed in the morning and not know where I am."

It's down to Justin. I never even asked him this question, I was curious to know the answer. He looks down at the sand, then up at me, smiles and says, "I have had a couple. And no one has ever made it back to my house. I agree that the awkwardness after isn't worth it."

Day Five

Tonight was date night. We all went our separate ways. It was kind of sad but it was nice to spend an entire evening with Justin and have no interruptions at all.

Steve and Kia went into town to a very nice dinner. Stacy and Mike did the same thing. But Justin and I, we had dinner right on the beach. A table set up for the two of us.

A romantic dinner for two, he was a romantic and I loved him even more for that. The wind was very corroborative and everything was perfect.

He throws the blanket up in the air and smoothes it over the sand. And we take a seat on the sand. It has to be the perfect ending to a perfect date night. As I lay in his arms watching the sun lower under the skyline I finally see my life for what it is. I had the happily ever after. My life, my world was right here in his arms. No matter where we lived, what we did with our careers, none of that mattered at the end of the day. As long as I was lying in his arms at the end of the day, I would be happy.

Day Seven

As much as we had done or didn't do on this vacation, there was one thing that took me by complete surprise. The Stacy that I knew was officially gone. I think that over the years, she just somehow forgot to be who she was. She was always worried people would think that if she moved on from her daughter's death. That they would think she didn't care about her being gone anymore. With that, she pretended to be this okay person when in reality she was chattered into a million pieces, which is understandable. She worried too much about what others would think about her. She didn't know how to be her anymore. I miss that Stacy.

The last night on the beach Justin and I brought out acoustic guitars and was going to simply sit and relax the last evening were in paradise. Everyone of course joined us, which made me feel like I wasn't a complete weirdo for wanted to just sit and play the guitar and sing. It was a nice way to end the week.

Justin started playing this soft melody that made me instantly think I needed to express exactly what I was thinking. I had written these words, not really even lyrics just yet and it became something that I had needed to say to Stacy this entire time. How much she has changed. How much she has become this person we all don't know anymore.

"Dear Friend, what's on your mind?... You don't laugh the way you used to... But I've noticed how you cry.... Dear friend, I feel so helpless.... I see you sit in silence.... As you face new pain each day... I feel there's nothing I can do..."

Stacy sits in her chair and doesn't move at all. I guess she knows I am saying this to her.

"I know you don't feel pretty... Even though you are... But it wasn't your beauty... That found room in my heart... Dear friend, you are so precious Dear Friend..."

I guess in a selfish way, I saw in Stacy what Justin had seen in the last month or so. I had become a workaholic and not the person I normally am. I was ready to get back to reality however I knew that in just a few short days I had a realization of what I really needed to do.

It's been a month since the fashion show. I have never seen so much happen in such a short time and have it all over with in a flash. Everything looked perfect on that runway. The reviews for the line were overwhelming. Some of the critics were calling the line ‘the best thing of the fall."

Walking down that catwalk at the end of the show was one of the most memorable moments of my life. I had officially made it. It came at a cost but I did it. And I stand here today a different person. Life gave me lemons and I made a cocktail!

I had really giving up a lot of the strings. I did exactly what I told Justin I would do. The last month and a half we have really got back to where we were in our relationship. There wasn't the stress of the fashion line. There was just Justin and myself. Things were pretty amazing. We were actually having date nights again, going to romantic dinners or staying in and watching old movies. It seemed as if nothing could tear us down.

My album finally had a release date just not an album name. I have spent every day since we got back in L.A in the recording studio. I was inspired again and I knew that this was the time to finish the album. The last song that we recorded actually started with us sitting in the living room playing the guitar. Simply singing whatever came out of our mouths. About an hour into our ‘session' Justin and I both look at each other and said, "We have to record this." The song was out of this world great.  Sometimes that is the best way to come up with something great.

Three months from this day, the album will release. My schedule was completely insane, but totally worth it. Between the promotion and photo shoots for the album I was going to be nonstop for a very long time. I guess it would be the best way to start off the New Year.

 Justin has pretty much said that he wasn't going to do anything while I was promoting because he wanted to be with me every step of the way. And instead of me arguing with him about it, I let him win and agreed to let him do what he wanted.

We had started rehearsing for the next leg of his tour as well. There were some big changes from the first leg of the tour. I had signed on to be the opening act for this part of the tour and for the leg of the tour that would go overseas. This was probably the biggest offer I could have ever had come my way at this stage of my career. Opening for an artist that normally sells out arenas and stadiums was a pretty damn good gig.

Of course I hesitated at first because I didn't want to be Justin's charity case. I didn't want to be on his tour because I was his girlfriend. Justin and the label for that matter were very respectful and assured me that I was on the tour because it was the right choice.

Friends of mine from back home had agreed to audition for the record label to join my band. I was happy to maybe have familiar faces and I couldn't imagine having this opportunity and not sharing it with them. So I had to get them both out to L.A. That was a slight challenge. Bob hates flying and Mike, well Mike is controlled by Stacy. So when I picked up that phone I was a little nervous. Bob must have been sleeping because he had this very rough raspy voice.

"Hello."

"Hey Bob, its Mel" I was bright and cheery. I had been up for nearly three hours already.

"Mel, isn't it very early in L.A.?"

"Yes, it is however I am up working today."

"It's Saturday." It sounds like he is hungover. "Don't they give you Saturday's off in California?"

"No, Saturday's don't exist in California."

"Man that must suck for you."

"Normally we go out clubbing on weeknights and work on the weekends. We are a little backwards out here."

"I only went to one bar last night." He was being sarcastic because I knew that he was known to jump from bar to bar.

"You only need one bar with a bottle of Jägermeister ... "

"You still know me so well."

"I do... which is kind of why I am calling you. I have a favor, an opportunity... something... anyways I want you to come out to California and audition for my record company. I want you in my band. But only if you're interested of course."

"I'm sorry I must still be drunk because I think you just asked me to be in your band?"

"You are probably still drunk however I did ask you to be in my band. My record company makes everyone audition though... I couldn't imagine embarking on this adventure without you guys."

"Guys?"

"I am asking Mike as well."

"Fuck yes. Mel. I love you. And If I wasn't 3,000 miles always I would totally kiss you right now."

"I am so excited that you want to do this. I was worried you would say no."

"I would never. Tell me when and where."

"My assistant will email you the details and the flight information."

"Your assistant? You have a freaking assistant now?"

"Yes, she is a lifesaver that's for sure... Speaking of Meredith she is yelling at me right now because I have to go back on set. I have to go but I will see you soon."

            One down, one to go. Mike doesn't answer his phone of course. He must have been out with Bob last night and has his phone off. I leave him a message to call me as soon as he could. It was important. I really didn't have the time to talk to him anyways.

Today was the final day of shooting the video for my first single. The first couple days were either ruined by weather or an accident happened and it delayed production. This day was no different. It had been a long stressful day. I was looking forward to getting into bed with Justin and sleeping the next day away. I would have the next three days off before my world as I knew it would be gone. There would be no down time, no vacations, no wondering what we will do for the night. It was busy busy busy.

Meredith and I had quickly become pretty close. We found each other even when we didn't have to be together. She was pretty amazing. Today she has been very busy with the getting the schedule organized with Johnny and everyone at WEG. So I was surprised to see her we she came up to me with this weird look on her face and said that a carrier just dropped off a certified package for me. I didn't have a clue what it was but it really didn't matter to me what it was. I wanted to finish this video and get home to Justin. The director tells me to take twenty minutes because the lighting was off on this shot and they needed to fix it. So I return to my dressing room to find out what this package was.

The handwriting on the front of the package was familiar but I still didn't know what it was or who it was from. There was no return address. Inside that box I dumped out a manila envelope and a letter that simply said,

"Pictures are worth a thousand words.

To be there and see your reaction would be priceless. I'm sorry I'm going to miss it."

I was still confused at what this was. For a moment I thought, what had Kia done? Had she compiled a stack of photos that were going to completely embarrass me? Not to my complete surprise pictures did fall out of that manila envelope. But they were not of me. There were fifty or so photos and not one of them included me.

I felt the lump in my throat begin to get very large. It felt as if the airway was being cut off. I couldn't breathe anymore. My knees buckle beneath me. I hit the floor and the pictures scatter all over the floor.

Meredith comes into the trailer to tell me they were ready for me on set. She sees me hutch over on the floor, hysterically crying. My hands were trembling. The blood was gone from my face. "Oh my god. Melissa, are you okay?"

I couldn't move nor could I speak. Everything I knew and everything I held dear to my life had just been shattered. Finally Meredith see's what I saw and she sits on the floor next to me. She has no idea what to say because she knows just as well as I do, these photos have just shattered my heart... my world.

The director's assistant came to the trailer and said, "Listen we have to get this shot in within the next hour. Are you ready?" I motioned to her that I needed a minute but I would be out.

I had to suck up the information that I had just taken in and be professional. I wasn't sure how I was going to pull this off but I had to. The scene was going to be a black and white flashback of me in the studio. The first shot was in the booth and the second was at the mixing board. The first shot I contained myself. But sitting at that board, knowing this is exactly where Justin has sat so many times, in this very spot, pushing these buttons... I couldn't do it anymore. The scene had turned into an emotional wreck scene. The tears start to well up in my eyes and the first tear streams down my face. The director doesn't yell cut he just watches. Finally the playback had stopped playing and he says, "Cut.... Melissa, that was... emotion filled. It was perfect. " In so many words I ask him if we are finished. He says I was free to go. It was a wrap.

Every artists that has the privilege of recording music and making videos waits for that very moment. To hear that director say that ‘it's a wrap' is almost as important as getting to sign on the dotted line for a contract. And I didn't get to enjoy my moment at all.

I grab that manila envelope and head for the town car that is waiting for me to take me home. Meredith asks if I was okay and I simply replied with a no. Then she asked if she should come with me and I said I wasn't sure but that she should go home and I would call her in the morning to deal with the schedule. She looked lost at what to say. I don't blame her, I wouldn't know what to say in my position either. Hell I am the person in the situation and I can't even say anything to myself to make it better.

Standing at the front door of the house that we have shared together and I suddenly feel a cold chill come over my entire body. Could I even walk through that door? Could I stomach seeing his face? When I finally did walk through that door the pain of just turning that knob was unbearable. I walked straight through the hallway and up the stairs to the bedroom. I gathered enough clothes to get me through the night and I walked down the steps and back out that front door. I hear Justin, from what sounded like the kitchen, "Hey Hun, how was your day? Was there any problems getting the video finished? I'm sorry I couldn't be there" I kept walking and shut the door behind me.

Just as I was out the door, he opens the door. "Mel? Where are you going?" I turn and I'm certain the only thing he can see is the puffiness and the redness of my eyes. I turn back around and continue walking. He runs out the door and my bag is already in the back seat of the cab. At this moment I wish I would have bought a car like I wanted to. But Justin had insisted that it wasn't necessary. He had enough vehicles that it wasn't an issue. I agreed because we were never at home anyways. It didn't make sense to have another vehicle just sitting in the garage.

"Melissa what is going on? Where are you going?" I can't even look at him. The sight of him makes me want to hurl. I get in the cab and shut the door. As the cab pulls away I see him just staring at the back of the cab, he just stood there, so much for happily ever after.

Justin manages to call ten or twelve times. But I can't even speak to him right now. Because right now at this moment the only thing I want to say to him is, "Fuck you" and that... that might not be the best thing right now. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted him to explain everything but I needed to go away right now. I needed to compile my thoughts.

Finally I answer the phone. I think he deserved to at least know that I was safe.

"What do you want?"

"Mel, where are you going?"

"Justin, I honestly don't know right now. I just can't be there."

"What are you talking about, what's wrong?"

"Justin, I just can't look at you right now. And the idea of hearing your voice right now makes me want to hurl." My voice is weak but yet I felt very firm.  "The package on your bed will explain everything."

"What package?"

"Justin... please I just can't."

That was the last thing I said to him. I can't even remember how I managed to speak that many words to him. I felt my heart stop beating. I felt the complete and udder emptiness that was now reality. I had felt this all before however this time... this time was even worse.

Justin walks into his bedroom, picked up manila and opened the contents. In his hands, he sees the reason I walked out that door. He is speechless and very confused.

I checked into the Four Seasons on South Doheny Drive. The golden beauty of the room wasn't even noticed by the red blurriness of my eyes. I crawled into that huge empty bed and felt as empty as the bed. How could I have let myself get this far into this relationship? How could I have let something like this happen to me again? Hadn't I learned from the last two relationships that I always seem to choose this type of guy? I always seem to choose the ones that will hurt me.

‘When the visions around you, brings tears to your eyes. And all that surrounds you, are secrets and lies..."

"Change. We don't like it. We fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. It hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn't is lying, but here's the truth, sometimes the more things change the more they stay the same.  And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Sometimes change is everything."

            What felt like days was actually a couple hours. I woke up and it was nearly midnight. I had cried myself to sleep a little over five hours ago.  The excessive makeup that I was wearing for the video shoot is now all over the pillow case and the mascara has ran down my entire face. I'm sure they will charge me a couple hundred dollars for that damn pillow case.

I eventually shut my phone off because Justin called nonstop. Maybe he hasn't learned yet that calling nonstop will get him nowhere and it will actually piss me off even more.

Everything had changed. Everything I knew was gone. Change is everything.

            I really needed something to take my mind off of everything that has happened today, I start running my water to take a nice long hot bath. There was a knock at the door. I throw my robe back on and I am almost positive when I open that door it is going to be Justin. How he found me, I wasn't sure but I knew it was going to be him when I opened that door. I stood behind that door for a moment, almost hesitate to open it. Then I heard a female voice on the other end saying, "Mel, it's me. Let me in." Did he seriously send my assistant over to find me? That voice wasn't Meredith's voice. Did he send Rachel? Or his Mother? It couldn't be them they were in Tennessee this week.

 "Mel. Please let me in." I reach for the door handle, take a deep breath and open it. I was shocked at who was behind that door. "Kia?"

"Wow, you look like hell." Kia doesn't seem too thrilled to be here.

"It's nice to see you too."

"What the hell is going on?"

"I'm sorry I am a little confused. Why are you in California?"

"The same reason you are in this hotel room."

"Justin called you?" I shake my head in disbelief.

"Yes he did. He was hysterical. He didn't know what to do or where to find you. I didn't hesitate I just said I would be on the first flight out. And here I am. But I was coming to L.A. this week anyway."

"See that's what... " I was frustrated and pissed. "...Why can't he just handle this himself? He is the one that screwed up. He should be the one driving all over this damn city trying to find me not having my best friend fly 3,000 miles to handle his problem."

"I wanted to fly here."

"You shouldn't have flown out here. I can handle this."

"I beg to differ."

"So he told you?" I couldn't believe that this was happening.

"Well he told me his side. What do you think happened?"

"Kia there were pictures... fifty or so pictures of him fucking someone else. And I'm not talking PG-13 photos... he was actually in the thrust."

"Are you sure they were him? Did you look at them?"

"I didn't have to examine the size of the penis of the guy in the photo to know it was him."

"Are you sure they were of him?"

"Well... aren't we on Team Timberlake." My best friend is supposed to take me side, no matter what.  "The damn stamp on the surveillance camera or whatever it was taking the pictures was dated for last week."

            She sits there quiet. I wanted to know what he told her, but a part of me just wanted to say fuck it I have seen enough proof. But she is convinced that he hasn't done anything wrong. "Is there any way these photos could be fake. Maybe they are edited. People do crazy things with editing programs nowadays. Is the date possible? Take the date on the photos and compare it to your schedules, is it possible?

            I get up and walk away. I knew she was only here to help but it pissed me off that he wouldn't handle this himself. He was supposed to be the one in the relationship with me. He is the one that should have knocked on the fucking door. Was I over reacting to what happened? Was I wrong to just want to get out of the house before I completely exploded? I needed to breathe and I couldn't do that in his house, in his bedroom, or in his living room. I just couldn't do that there. It was his house, his things, it was all him. I had all intentions on going back to the house tonight. I just needed to breathe. And now, now I look like the one that ran from the problem... again.

            She finds me in the bedroom with my face buried in my hands, sobbing. She kneels down in front of me and removes my hands from my face. "Mel, he wouldn't cheat on you. It's not who he is."

"I know that. I know that he would never cheat. But I... I have been wrong before..."

"Those guys were different. They had potential of cheating. Justin, he doesn't have an ounce in him that would make him cheat. He loves you with everything he is."

"I know..." I am suddenly remembering those photos. I am straining to remember the one close up of his face. I keep seeing his face. What was different about it? What does it make me think now there is something wrong with the photo? Something that should be there...

"Mel, what are you thinking?"

 It's quiet, my eyes get huge... "Oh my god..." I feel the breath that I could breathe a moment ago escape.

Kia is startled, "What?"

"Those pictures are Justin." I start to cry, "But those photos are not new."

"What makes you say that?"

"His hair."

"Justin's hair?" She is really confused now.

"Justin's hair is full of curls. He hasn't cut it since we have been together, other than a trim."

"What does his hair have to do with anything?"

"Everything."

I know what I have to do. "I need to go home."

She wraps her arms around me and whispers in my ear, "He is waiting downstairs for you." I look up at her. "I made the decision to fly here, I made the decision to be the first one to come up and see you. It was a fight between Justin and me. He wanted to come straight up here but I needed to make sure you were ok first." She pauses then says, "I will stay here. If you feel like you can't be there tonight come back here and we will hang out. If not I will see you tomorrow."

I run down the hallway to the elevator. Push the button for the ground floor... ok so I push it like twenty five times. As if that is going to help it goes any faster. Finally the elevator stops and the doors open finally. I run through the parking garage and there he stands leaning against his car. He looks like a complete mess. I walk up to him and run my hands through his curls. "Your hair!"

He steps back, "Mel?!" he's surprised to see me and relieved at the same time.

"Your hair!"

"Are you drunk?"

"No, no... your hair... You haven't cut your hair other than a trim since we have been together."

He is really confused now. "Mel, what does my hair have to do with anything?"

"Your curls are not in those photos. Your hair was short in those pictures. They haven't been that short since the day we met."

            He runs his hands through his curls. "I keep them long because you like it."

"I know. I know. Those pictures have been doctored. Those pictures are from when you... when you slept with... Ashley. Ashley... Those photos are from Ashley... I should have known better. I fell right into her trap. I did exactly what she wanted me to do. I believed them. She wanted me to leave you."

"But you didn't, you are standing right in front of me. You are not going anywhere."

"I'm sorry I didn't trust you enough to let you explain. I'm sorry I was a fool to just believe the photos that came to me."

"Hun, you had ever right to be suspicious. I almost believed them myself but then I realized they were supposed to be me in them and I knew that I haven't been with anyone since the day we met."

"I'm so sorry. I was sure that you had cheated. But this was all part of her game. She is never going to leave us alone is she?"

"I wish I had an answer for you."

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry."

"You have to know you can always trust me. Always. We cannot let past relationships dictate how we deal with this one. Eventually you are going to let that guard down. Because Mel... this one... this one is forever. I promise you that."

"I love you..." I hug him and hold on for dear life. "I promise you, I trust you. This is forever."

"Forever."

            We stand there for a couple minutes just holding each other. I need to let go of the past, I need to remember that Justin isn't Matt. Justin shouldn't have to suffer consequences of someone else's mistakes and poor choices. And Ashley... she needed to be stopped.

I look up at Justin, "Let's go home."

***

            So today, Justin and I had to attend a hearing at the court house. Ashley had violated the restraining order; maybe just maybe this would be the end of the Ashley drama in our lives. I sure hope so. The judge ordered her to spend ninety days in jail and one year probation. The restraining order would stay in effect until the parties agreed that she wasn't an issue anymore. I hope that in this time she really gets some clarity. She needed some kind of evaluation of life itself.
            Tonight we celebrate a victory, but this victory has nothing to do with Ashley. I hold in my hands the very first copy of the album. The still untitled album, but it is the first mastered copy. When Justin walked into the room and handed it to me, I cried and cried. This had really been done. I had really done this. Seeing the basic lettering on the disc that read "Melissa Roberts ‘Untitled'" was more than I can handle. It was pretty amazing.

"This is truly something I never expected to achieve in my lifetime. You never know what life can throw at you." I saw with the biggest smile on my face.

"You never know..." My beautiful sympathetic boyfriend agrees.

I look like the light bulb had just turned on. "That's perfect."

"What is?"

"You Never Know."

"Sorry I'm confused."

"Well that doesn't take much."

"Hey now..." He points at himself. "The man you love remember."

"Oh yea... I forgot for a moment." I had finally made the decision. "You Never Know is the album title."

He is shaking his head yes, "It is perfect."

"Maybe a beautiful script font over that picture with the ocean in the background or the one in the purple top..."

"Melissa."

"Yes Dear." I bat my eyes at him and smile.

"That's not your job. Let marketing worry about all that."

"I know I know, just ideas running through my mind."

"Well now that's a scary thought."

My mouth drops open. "You are so freaking hilarious..."

He winks at me, "I know."

Then he bolts through the kitchen, "Boy if you ever want to get laid again, I would stop now."  I chase him down the hallway, up the staircase and then pin him against the wall. He just smiles at me with that gorgeous smile and those beautiful blue eyes. "Not worried?"

"I have no worries." Gosh, I love that sexy stern voice.

"You better."

"You would never deny yourself sex so I know that won't happen." Damn he was right. He turns the tables and has me pinned against the wall. "You enjoy me too much!"

"Do you think you're a genius in bed or something? You are pretty confident."

"Live and learn honey... live and learn." He now has my clothing removed in entirety.

"Kia will be here in twenty minutes"

"I guess we better make this quick then."

"You don't know what quick is."

"I guess that's a challenge I will have to take." He lifts me off the ground and carries me to the bed.

            Just as I'm getting my clothes off the floor I hear the door bell ring. Justin is in just a pair of jeans and he runs downstairs to let Kia in. I hurry to find something to wear that isn't wrinkled on the floor. I have to make a decision very quickly because Kia is coming up the stairs.

"MEL!!"

"I'm in the closet."

"Are you dressed?"

"No, but I have enough clothing on. Come in."

            She walks into the closet and is holding in one hand my bra that must have gotten lost in the process... and in the other hand my top that I was wearing.

"Did I interrupt something?"

My face turns a shade of pink. "No, we were finished."

"I'm glad I showed up ten minutes late."

"Shit, we are going to be late for our reservations."

"Mel, your boyfriend is Justin Timberlake, the biggest superstar in the world. You can be as late as you want."

"Just because he is Justin Timberlake, doesn't give us the right to late. I hate that."

"Yes, I know!"

My best friend in the world had given me the greatest news in the world the night she was in town. She and her wonderful husband were moving to Los Angeles. Steve had to come to terms with the fact that the company he was working for was going to fire a large amount of people and he was going to be one of them. He decided he would just turn in his resignation, but luckily for him that was the exact day that everyone was going to be fired. They gave him a huge severance package. Kia had interviewed for a job at Shriners Hospital for Children while she was in town. She wasn't sure if she would get the job but she was ready for the big change.

Her mother and sister had made the decision to move back to Michigan after their grandmother passed away. She died nearly a year ago but the estate was tied up in a will that was being contested by some of the family. The judge finally ordered the house to the person that it was left to in the will, which was left to Kia and her sisters. Steve and Kia had decided they didn't want to move to Michigan, that if they were going to move it wouldn't be someone that it is colder than it was in Ohio. They really thought about it and they could just move anywhere. They had nothing holding them there and where did they choose? They chose to be with me in California. I was extremely happy. Even though Justin and I were about to embark on a long second leg of the tour and a huge non-stop promotional tour I was excited that they would be here when I got back.

I was lying in bed bright and early when I heard my phone ringing from across the room. I really didn't want to get up and get it but I knew that it would wake Justin up if I didn't get it.

"Hello." I had that wonderful sleepy voice.

"Hey Mel, did I wake you?" Kia sounds like she just woke up as well.

"Not really, what's up?"

"I just wanted to call and let you know that I didn't get the job. They gave it to someone that lived local, something about not paying relocation fees."

"Did you tell them not to worry about it because you best friend would gladly pay for it."

"First of all, No you won't be paying for it. Second, this just means I'm not meant to have that job."

I got really quite for a minute. I thought well there goes the idea of having my best friend in the same city as me and not three thousand miles away. Then she started rambling about something and all I heard was, "... This is not going to stop us from moving to California. We are moving regardless." Happy Dance... it's all I could think at this moment.

"Kia...would you be totally against joining me on tour?"

"What?"

"You and Steven go on tour with us."

"What would we do the entire time?"

"I don't know. I am sure I could find jobs for you and you could at least get paid. But it would be fun to travel across the country and the world with you guys."

"Wow, I actually like that idea... a lot. Maybe find out some details and I will talk to Steve."

I don't know why I hadn't thought of that before. Why would I want to have two of my dearest friends in the world to go from city to city with me? Steve would love to help with the soundboards and Kia could totally be my stage hand. Helping me change between sets or even a dancer... she was an amazing dancer. This was something to think about.

As unhappy as I was to be awake I knew I couldn't sleep in. I had to do interviews all day. Luckily they were all coming over to the house, I didn't have to go anywhere but I had to presentable. That was the challenge. I guess I could maybe cook Justin breakfast, but it's doubtful he will wake up early. He looks like he is in the deepest sleep of his life. We were out pretty late last night. Attending movie premieres used to be fun but now they are just work but it was part of the job. Of course everyone attends the after party and it always ends up being a very late night.

I stare at the closet thinking, what in the world am I going to wear today? I have all these clothes... and all the clothes that designers have sent over and I have drawn a complete blank on what to wear. Only six of the interviews were going to be taped but I had to at least look decent.

I opted for jeans, a deep v-neck tank top and a pair of sexy heels, simple enough. No sooner than I finished making a pot a coffee. I hear footsteps behind me. Thinking its Justin I turn with the biggest smile on my face.

"Good Morning, Melissa."

"Good Morning, Meredith. How is everything so far?"

"It's going great everyone will be here soon. And going by the smile on your face I am betting this morning has been very well for you as well."

"It hasn't been that great... don't take this the wrong way, I just thought you were Justin coming up behind me. Thinking maybe he had finally woke up."

"He isn't awake yet? Such a slacker." She smiles and shakes her head.

"I know right. Some of us can't sleep the day away... Some of us..." I am interrupted

"I am awake and I can here you..." he shouts from the other room as he is answering the door.

Meredith and I both look at each other like crap he is in a bad mood. It is going to be a steer clear of Justin kind of day. We both just laugh and get things ready in the den for the interviewers to set up.

Within an hour the room had been fully transformed into a media nightmare and I was about to jump right into it.

"Melissa, the first interviewer is ready for you if you are." Meredith informs me.

"As ready as I am ever going to be."

Justin walks up behind me and puts his scruffy unshaved beard in the curve of my neck, nuzzling his nose around on my neck. "Only you can make a simple pair of my jeans looks this amazing... go kick some media ass!" He gave me chills. My body shakes. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just love that. I love you."

"You like me in the morning even when I haven't shaved yet. We really might make it through this relationship."

I wink at him. "I love you. Shaved or not."

I finally make it into the den area and they all seem to ask the same questions, just over and over again. Where did you grow up? How did you end up in California? How did you and Justin really meet? Do you want kids one day? Who inspired this song... that song?

The final interview of the day was for People. They were doing a cover story. This was the one magazine I gave the ok to talk about the whole Ashley issue and they agreed to not make it the focus of the story. Justin and I had talked about it and figured that it would be easier to talk about it once and say that is it. We are done with the entire story.

The interviewer seemed a little more nervous than I was. She finally sits down and I tell her... "Breathe; it's going to be ok."

"I'm sorry. I am freaking out. This is my first real big story and I am freaking out because I know that somewhere in this house Justin Timberlake is just lounging around..." She blushes, "I'm sorry. I am totally freaking out and I am talking about your boyfriend. Now that you think I am a complete weirdo... and I am going to stop talking now."

"It's ok really. He is in the house somewhere. I am sure in the studio or something. He can't for a moment just do nothing. He is a total goofball and will make fun of me if that will make you feel better! ....I will bring him up to meet you, I promise!"

"Let's get this interview started." She took a deep breath and asked her first question. "So why did you decide to name the album, You Never Know?"

"Actually I think it is completely fitting for my life. I grew up in a small town and having the opportunities that I have had over the last year have been more than I could have ever thought possible. And at the end of every day, You Never Know what can happen or come your way."

"That is the truth." She laughed. "Have you ever sat and thought this time last year that you would be in this position today? Having a line of clothing that has been flying off the shelves? Having a single that has so much buzz around it and it hasn't even released yet?"

"I have always wanted to be in the music business or the fashion world. And I am grateful that I got them both. I never thought for a moment that this is where I would be today. Did I wish and hope for this, yes but I never thought it would be reality."

"How difficult is it for two celebrities to do something simple like go to dinner or the grocery store?"

"Luckily I am not famous. I just have to deal with people following Justin" I laugh. "Sometimes it's overwhelming but at the end of the day it is worth it. Love can outweigh a lot of things."

"How is your relationship with Justin after all the claims and allegations that have come out about his ex-dancer, Ashley?"

"We are perfectly fine. Whatever plot or ideas she had planned didn't work. Sometimes people are just meant to be together and I believe that Justin and I have one of those relationships. There are always going to be people that want to tear you down and make you question things but we love each other and trust each other."

"Is he your one?"

I chuckle "I used to hate when people would say that. I always thought it was a crazy idea that there was actually one person that you are meant to be with. But I have been proven wrong."

"Will you guys ever get married?"

"Well, Justin has this four year rule. He dates people for four years then decides if he wants to move on or commit to a marriage..." I see Justin standing in the doorway. He is laughing. "I'm just kidding. He is someone I could see marring... that's for sure. When or if that happens, it will be amazing to spend forever with him." Yes, I scored brownie points.

"So let's move on to music. What is your favorite track on the album?"

"Wow, I haven't even thought of that... They all have different meanings and happened at different points in my life." I really didn't have a favorite track. "I think a track that stands out to me and makes me cry nearly every time I hear it is Mama's Song. I wrote that for my mom who always worries about me. She has always worried about the guys I have dated and finally I said you know what... she doesn't have to worry anymore."

"Do songs like this just come to you?"

"This one did, that's for sure. It started as just a phone call to my mother and it was just a couple months after Justin and I had gotten together and she said, I just worry about you, I worry he won't keep his promises. And I told her, he is good to me. He treats me the way a real man should. And literally that's how that song was started. I hung up the phone with her wrote the entire song within a couple minutes."

"My Last Name is a song that you collaborated with Justin on his album. Is that the song that started the whole marriage rumors?"

"Oh yes. The song was something that Justin and I wrote just a couple weeks into our relationship. So we were nowhere near getting married. We are not that crazy. We basically just put what we were thinking on paper and that was it. Maybe what we had always envisioned when for when we get married someday."

"Does it make you think you have to live up to that song for your wedding someday?"

"I guess that will have to be a question after we get engaged."

"I got to preview some of the album. I have to say after listening to your raw emotion mixed with the lyrics of ‘Look At Me' it is the track that stands out the most to me. I take it this was from real experience?"

"Yes." I smile really big. "I'm very stubborn person but it was something different when I started letting him in. This time everything was different. And every time he looked at me with those gorgeous blue eyes I fell even farther in love with him. I don't know how many times I told myself, I was in way to deep but I just kept letting him in deeper."

I was happy to see the end of that day. It had been media frenzy in our own house. I walk up to the bedroom, kicking off my shoes as I enter the doorway and I am removing clothing as I walk towards him. He looks pale and sweaty. I climb on top of him. He kisses me but not the way he normally does. He is not interested in having sex, wow this is weird. "Babe, you okay?"

"Yeah... I'm fine." He says he is okay but the worry wrinkles that he has across his forehead tell me otherwise. "Will we be in New York two Saturday's from now?"

I climb off of him. "I don't know I would have to look at my schedule... what's up?"

"I think... I think my dearest friend is getting married."

"Trace and Anabelle?" The smile was huge across my face.

"No, JC."

"You don't seem thrilled about this."

"Well... It's just... I saw him last time he was in town and he said that he had just met someone and that he thought she was the one... I just never thought he would be getting married so quickly."

"Maybe he fell in love with her?"

"Maybe... It's way out of character for him."

"Love makes you do crazy things sometimes."

"But it's JC... Man I didn't expect this at all." He is running his hands through his hair. Damn I love it when he does that. But he still has that worried look on his face which completely ruins my thoughts on what I wanted to do right now. "I mean... him and I were a lot alike on the marriage front. We have had a conversation very, very similar to the one back when... I ... I thought I would have been the one to do something so rash... but not him. He is worse than I am when it comes to commitments."

"What are you trying to tell me?" Was this he was of telling me he will never marry me? He has this confused look on his face but I was done talking, "I'm going to shower. I have rehearsals tonight."

            I drove to rehearsals in a quiet car. That never happens with me. I couldn't believe that Justin has basically just told me that he wouldn't make that commitment. This is not something I have the time and the will power to dwell over.

"Hey guys! I will be ready in ten minutes." There in that soundstage stand two of my oldest friends, Bob on the guitar and Mike on the bass. My band was finally complete with them. They came out here only two weeks ago to learn all the music and to get ready for the tour we were about to embark on. They joined my other guitarists Chris, my drummer, Adam and the keyboardist, Juan. Then there was the unbelievably talented Brooke who is doing the background vocals. I wasn't sure how I became the front liner and she was background. She was amazing.

"Ok, let's start with ‘Look At Me'. It's the ballad and I am debating between doing the album version or an acoustic version."

Bob gets this huge grin on his face. "Acoustic?"

"You know how much I love the sound of an acoustic guitar... and I think that song will be more personal if it's raw."

"I agree. Have I told you yet that this album that you have made is phenomenal? Because it is lyrically and musically, well... perfect. You did an amazing job."

"Thank you. That's great coming from you but I can't take the credit though. I had a lot of help." I put my head down and head out in front of the band."

Bob pulls out the acoustic and I start singing the lyrics.

"I would bet my life... Like I bet my heart... That you were the one baby... I've never been so sure... Of anything before... You're driving my heart crazy... I can't hold out...  I can't hold back now... Like I've done before..."

I feel my voice start to get a little shaky. I took a deep breath and continued. Maybe this wasn't the best time to be rehearsing this song.  "How do you do that babe...  Make me feel like I'm... The only girl alive for you... I don't know what it is... That makes me fall like this... The first time in your arms I knew... The way you held me... I knew that this could be... What I have been waiting to find..." The tears stream down my face as I try to finish the song. But as I start the chorus for the second time I hear his voice echoing behind me. He joins me, "Darling look at me... I've fallin' like a fool for you... Darling can't you see... I'd do anything you want me to ... I tell myself... I'm in too deep... Then I fall a little farther... Every time you look at me..."

                He walks over to me and drops the microphone. He steps very close to me, gently rubbing his thumb over my cheekbone "I will be with you forever. I will marry you one day. That is if you will still have me. This thing with JC has nothing to do with us. There is just something he isn't telling me and I am freaking out."

April. Six months earlier.

            Justin sits in the same spot along the island in the kitchen drinking his coffee. Alone, alone more than ever now. Today was no different. He had sent his assistant on vacation this week because he didn't want to see anyone or leave the house. Maybe even drink himself into a stupor. He had made maybe the biggest mistake of his life and now he was dealing with the consequences.

            He hears the door open and shut. Assuming it is the cleaning lady he ignores it. A male voice echoes through the kitchen.

"Wow, don't you look horrible."He is laughing but he is serious.

"Thanks, I knew you were my friend for a reason." He gets up and puts his cup in the sink.

"Hey I am just stated the obvious... What is wrong with you?"

"JC man, I don't know what to do. It's been three solid days since she has said anything to me. I honestly don't know to do." Justin seems to be having a meltdown.

"Didn't you just meet this chick a couple weeks ago on vacation? Is she that great in bed that you can't seem to let her go?" he laughs and shakes his head.

"It's not like that. It's different with her. It's something different. It's almost as if she could be my one."

"Seriously? Don't play that shit with me. I know you, that sex must have been phenomenal."

"I'm not commenting on that."

"That means it is... Damn you are always lucky with women."

"I'm sorry could we get back to what I am talking about now..."

"Sure let's talk about the chick that you fucked the first night you met her and then she went home and cheated on you..."

"She didn't cheat. That's just a rumor. She wouldn't do something like that."

"How do you know? You just met her."

"She said she didn't. I believe her."

"Justin, YOU JUST MET HER." His voice gets louder and is directing it right at Justin.

"You would understand if you met her. She is really something."

"Yea well you said that about Britney, Jenna, Cameron, and Jessica... all of them. What makes this one so different?"

"She is just real. No bullshit kind of person. I have never met someone that I have this instant love and affection for."

"Seriously Justin you are not trying to convince me that you fell in love with this woman in just the two weeks you have known her? Love at first sight or something?"

"I don't know how to explain it, other than I have hopelessly fallen in love with her."

"Well you're Mr. SexyBack get your ass on a plane and fly to her. Tell her how you feel. You will work it out."

"She wants space."

"Well then this is over.  I am only in town for two days before I head back to New York City. Let's go to the club tonight."

"I'm not in the mood to have random chicks hit on me."

JC had this weird look on his face, "Wow, this is serious. You are turning down the possibility of getting laid tonight over this chick who may never call you again?"

"She will call... she will call." He was sure she would.

            Justin had really not been through something like this before. He was normally the one calling the shots in relationships. When he was done, he was done. She had the upper hand this time, but he didn't have a problem with it. He was willing to do things on her level. He felt something different with her than he had ever felt with anyone.

            Cracking open yet another bottle of Jack he can't help but think of the moments that they had spent together. There wasn't many but the ones that they did have were unbelievable. Their first kiss had taken place in a bar. Not the most romantic place to have your first kiss but it was just perfect in every way.

            The club had been packed. We both had a couple drinks in us. Her friends had really welcomed me into their little group. I was happy to spend some time with her, just to get to know her. Nowhere on my radar did I think she would push me against the wall, look deep into my eyes and kiss me so passionately. For a moment in time, it was just her and I against that wall. The strength I saw in her eyes was something I have never seen before. She had taken a leap of faith and went in for it. Women didn't do that with him anymore.

            As stubborn and strong as he has been in the past, this time it was different. His guard had been let down and he screwed up. He shouldn't have listened to his PR and his manager who threw pictures in front of him and asked why his new girl had another man? He should have just said it was nothing and moved on. But no he had to grab that stubbornness from his past that he was so used to having in relationships and throw it out on the table with the allegations. He should have just trusted her. After all she did call and tell him she was going to dinner with a friend from work.

            He is rubbing his face in disbelief. How could this have been the choice he made? Why couldn't he have taken that same leap of faith? He had been kicking himself since the moment he opened his mouth.

"Alone in this house again tonight.. I've got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine... There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me... The way that it was and could have been surrounds me... I'll never get over you walking away..."

            All the good never outweighs the bad. Why couldn't he just trust and let things happen. Maybe because he has had people in the past used him, cheated on him, and emotionally destroyed him.

            ""I've thought that being strong meant never losing your self control... But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain... To Hell with my pride let it fall like rain... From my eyes... Tonight I wanna cry..."

            Justin drank too much last night. He couldn't remember his own name at the end of the night. When he woke up, for the first time in his life he was happy that he was alone in his bed. He wasn't exactly sure what happened last night or how much he actually drank but he was sure glad that there wasn't a bigger mistake made. As he rolls out of bed he sees his Blackberry buzzing on the floor... jumping quicker than he thought was humanly possible with the weight of his head right now, he was sure he would topple over. But he grabbed that phone hoping that maybe she had sent him a message or maybe she had called. But she hadn't. There were twelve missed phone calls from Rachel and six from Trace. He looks over at the alarm clock. ‘FUCK' he was late to pick them up at the airport. He dials the number very quickly and Trace finally answers.

"What the fuck man. We waited for an hour and finally opted for a cab... which you will pay for when we get there." Typical Trace to be a dick.

"Sorry... I just woke up. I forgot to set the alarm." Justin is rubbing his head thinking he needed something for his headache.

"Are you hung-over?"

"You can say that. Just come in when you get here. I'm going back to bed, my head weights a hundred pounds right now."

"Whatever man, see you in a few."

            He pulls the dark curtains over the windows and climbs back into bed. Into the bed that he has never shared with her but would give anything for that right now. He turns the ringer on, just praying that she calls. Of course she doesn't but a guy can dream right?

"Justin, please tell me that you didn't really drink two entire bottles of Jack last night by yourself?" She shakes her head and rolls her eyes.

‘Rachel- I am not in the mood to listen to you bitch at me about my drinking habits."

"What the fuck Justin. You do realize that this can't continue like this. You have an album to promote..." She can't believe that this is who he is again. "She hasn't called yet has she? You can't drown in your sorrows forever."

"Rachel. Go please. I just need to get up and shower. Please, just go."

            He can hear everything that is going on downstairs. Rachel and Trace are having a nice conversation about him and this girl that he just met. "...She doesn't deserve him if she can't call him back. Let him explain or hell, explain herself to him..."

"You both need to stop. You don't know her. You don't know what she is going through... anything, just stop."

Trace gives Justin the oh god look, his bottom lip drops in shock. "You really fell for her. I thought you were just saying that you fell for her because you slept with her right after you met her... but god... you really fell for her."

"Trace, I will tell you the same thing I am going to tell Rachel. SHUT UP!"

****

            Trace and Rachel had been there a week and Justin hasn't left the house for anything. They were lucky to see him out of his bedroom. Even then he was not the Justin that they have known and grew up with.

"Justin Randall, get your ass out of that bed. We flew out here to go to this party with you. That was the reason you basically demanded us to come out here. We are going." Rachel is tired of this mood he is in. "Give me this girl's number. I am going to have a talk with her."

"NO" Justin said firmly. "You have helped scare off everyone I have been close to. You will stay away from her."

"Justin, I have only dislike the ones that hurt you."

"I hurt her. This time it's reversed. I deserve that phone call of her screaming at me. I want her to call and scream at me. I want it so bad. I deserve it..."

"Get up. We are leaving in forty five minutes."

"Ugh, I really hate you right now."

"That's fine you can hate me as long as your skinny ass is in the shower and ready to go."

            He stands in the shower for nearly twenty minutes. He couldn't believe that after everything he had done in his life that this is the moment in time he wished he was just a normal guy that works in an office every day and was able to have a simple romantic relationship with someone and not have all this attention.

A drunken stupor shortly followed, again. His wonderful friend and cousin drug him out of the house when he didn't want to go so he made sure he was drunk enough to not think about anything.

For what felt like a new routine, Justin woke up the next morning with a heavy head. He decided that he was going to call her. Put things out on the table. See just what she was thinking. It had been ten days, ten whole days since I have heard her wonderful mellow voice.

He picked up the phone and dialed her number. It went directly into her voicemail. It was Wednesday, which meant she should be working right now going through her morning emails, getting everything ready for the day ahead. Maybe she was even planning what she would do for the weekend ahead, without him. Her phone never goes straight to voicemail though. Maybe she shut it off. She must really not want to talk to anyone.

So he did the one thing he knew to do. He dialed the next number. It rings and just went he thinks the voicemail is going to pick up he hears, "Hello?"

"Hi Steve... its Justin." Justin sounded monotone, completely out of character for him.

"Hey, how are you doing?"

"Not well. I... I  have made some bad choices... some things that I wish I could take back if I could."

"She still hasn't called?"

"No. How is she? I just need to know she is okay."

"Honestly man, I haven't spoken to her either. She is very good at being closed off. She and I are very alike."

"What should I do? Should I jump on a plane and just fly there and hope that she will speak to me."

"That isn't going to work with Mel. She is pretty stubborn."

"I just... I just want to talk to her. Know that she is okay and that I haven't made the stupidest choice of my life... I need her."

Steve got very quiet. Then a moment later he said, "You really care about her don't you?"

"Yes. As crazy as it sounds I think I have fallen in love with her."

"Well, I never say this... and I never will again. So listen this one time. You are right for her and I will make sure that she comes back to you. But... it has to be on her time. Mel has suffered more pain in her life than anyone should ever have to endure. I love her as if she was my own sister. All I want is to see her happy. She seemed happy with you."

"Thanks Steve, I really appreciate it. More than you will ever know."

"Don't make me regret it."

"I won't I promise you that."

****

"Red. They have to be red... deep rich red color... five or six dozen... as many as you can fit into a vase... cost doesn't matter... They have to be delivered today and they have to have a hand written note from me with them. I am emailing you the note now..."

"Ok sir, I need your credit card information." A young female voice on the other end asks.

"Ok. The name on the card is Justin R. Timberlake."

"I'm sorry could you repeat that." She sounded confused.

He started again saying it slower this time. "Sure, Justin R. Timberlake."

"The Justin Timberlake?"

"Umm yeah, I'm sorry could you keep this on the quiet side. Privacy is hard in my life."

"Sure, sure that's no problem. I will discard the email as soon as you send it."

"Thanks again. They will be there today right?"

"As soon as the driver returns I will have them sent to her office." She mumbles something and he hears her say, "She is a lucky girl"

He doesn't respond to her he just says, "Thank you."

He felt relieved that this was something simple he could do for her with still giving her space. His only regret on this was the first time he was going to tell her ‘I love you' and it was going to be on that card. But if that was the way it had to be put out there he was glad it was in black and white.

Trace walks into the living room. "You look in a better mood today, did she call?"

"No. But she will. I have faith that she will."

"You are going to wait for her to call?"

"Yes. I will wait as long as she needs."

"She must be damn good in bed." He mumbled under his breath.

Justin seemed to get defensive now, "Why does everyone seem to think that I base my relationships off of the sex?"

"Well, you have in the past."

"There was a reason those relationships never worked out. I am not saying that we have bad sex. It has been pretty amazing but the relationship with her is different... I love her."

"And you said I met her? At the after party in Vegas?"

"Yes, I saw pictures of you with her."

"What was she wearing? What does she look like?"

"Short yellow dress, long chocolate brown hair, beautiful hazel eyes... I have a picture..." Justin leaves the room and returns with a couple photos that were taken on vacation.

"Oh, yea I remember her. She is gorgeous. She was really drunk the night I met her, really drunk."

"She is gorgeous. She's pretty amazing."

"I bet she is." He is staring at the photo, looking at her every detail until Justin snatches it out of his hands.

"Stop, Trace. Don't go there." Justin looks around the room. "Where is Rachel? She has been missing for a while."

"No clue, Rachel disappears sometimes... What are we going to do tonight?"

"What would you say to just staying in tonight? Having a couple beers and just do nothing?"

"Haven't you stayed in enough lately?"

"I just don't want the world to know that I am torn to pieces ok. I would rather than run some lame false story than the truth right now."

"I understand. I hope she calls man because I can't see you like this anymore... again."

            Finally Rachel returns into the living room. She has this smirk on her face that won't go away. She has done something but no one has a clue what it is about. Justin answered the door and paid for the take-out food that he ordered.

            The storm in the Los Angeles tonight was raging. It hasn't rained this hard in L.A. in a very long time, year's maybe.

Rachel picks up her phone three or four times and finally Justin says, "Is there a new guy that you are not telling us about."

"No." She isn't saying another word, just focusing on the TV.

"Then what's with all the secret phone calls?"

"They are not secret, just private." She begins flipping through the channels attempting to not look directly at him.

‘Oh whatever, you can rag on me about everything to do with my personal life but..."

Justin was interrupted but a knock at the door. He looks at Trace and Rachel, but neither move. "Fine, I will get the door."

They both at the same time said, "It's your house." Justin rolls his eyes and walks toward the door. He chuckled, the people he chose to hang out with. He reached for the door and opened it.

"Mel?" Justin looked confused yet happy at the very same time. "What are you doing here? I didn't know you were coming?"

She stood there frozen standing in the pouring rain. Finally she spoke, "I love you."

He smiles and says; "I love you" He rushes out the door and holds on for dear life.

She says it again. "I love you, I love you, I love you. I have waited my entire life to love someone the way I love you."

"I thought I was never going to see you again."  He has tears in his eyes.

"I don't want you to ever think you can't trust me. I will always tell you the truth. I will always be faithful, I can promise you that."

He says what he has wanted to say for over a week. "I promise you this now, you will be safe with me. I won't hurt you. I want you forever. I love you."

Walking through the airport at JFK was a nightmare. The paparazzi were crazy in New York, it always is but it seems worse this time and Justin has spent most of the time walking through the airport on the phone. I just wanted to run as fast as I could to get out of there. He held onto my hand and made sure that I was safe but it was a scene I wanted out of.

"...When is the wedding? Is JC's fiancé pregnant? Where is your baby momma Justin? Melissa how do you feel about having you first #1 single?..."

            What? Did I just hear them correctly? I was number one? That couldn't be true. They usually yell random things, but that was really random. I get in the SUV that awaits us and I pull out my blackberry and get on the internet. Just as I am about to log onto the billboard website Justin turns to me and says, "How does it feel to have the #1 song in the country?"

I froze in time, staring at him. "I'm sorry what?"

"I was on the phone with Johnny when he found out. You are number one in the country. ‘Finding Your Own Way' is #1!"

"Shut up? Are you serious?"

"Your # 1 babe... #1!" He throws up his pointer finger make the #1 sign.

"The single has only been to radio for like... two weeks. How is that even possible? I checked last week and it debut at like #76 or something like that."

"Melissa..." He grabs a hold of my face, cupping my chin in his hands. "You are .... #1! We have to celebrate... My girl has the #1 song in the country." He kisses me, "I love you, congratulations." I seriously didn't know how to react to the news. I guess I never expected it to do so well. I was ecstatic when I found out it was #76. I did a happy dance in the office at home by myself, but I didn't want to jinx it so I didn't say anything.

            Once we get into the apartment I turned on the laptop and checked the charts. I start screaming when I actually saw it on the screen. There it was for me to see with my own eyes..."Oh my god. I'm fucking number one.... number one... I'm number... one." I sit down and rub my hands over my face. "I'm number one." I start to cry.

Justin kneels down in front of me, "You are number one. Congratulations, you have earned it."

"Thank you. Thank you for helping me get to this point."

"I had nothing to do with this. This is all you..."

I interrupt him, putting my finger over his mouth. "Let me for one moment thank the wonderful man in front of me for everything he has done for me. Let me give praise where praise is due. Without you, none of this would be possible. You are so amazing, I love you more every moment I have and every breathe I breath. I love you!"

****

            "JUSTIN!!!" JC comes storming through the apartment. I hear him yelling in the kitchen area but I didn't expect what was going to happen next.

            As I stand in only my bra and panties the door flies open, "Oh my god... I'm sorry." His face turns beat red. He is frozen for a second then shuts the door and standing outside of the door I hear him say, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to see you... in... just your panties. I thought this is where Justin was saying he was at."

            I am laughing because I thought it was funny, but he was humiliated. "JC, it's ok. I wasn't naked." Then I mumbled to myself, ‘just damn near it'.

            After I finished putting on my clothes I walk out into the living area where Justin and JC have plopped themselves down onto the couch watching TV.

Justin smirks and says, "Well I see you found some clothes. Ain't nothing like giving my best friend a show."

"Sorry I couldn't resist... He is after all JC Chasez." I wink at him, "He was an hour early. I never expected it would be him coming through our bedroom door."

"I'm not worried. I was just mad that it wasn't me that walked through the doors. Damn that had to be a good sight." He smacks my ass and pulls me down to sit on his lap.

"Shut up. You have seen a lot less than that many, many times."

"That doesn't mean I wouldn't like to see you in just panties..." He kisses my neck then pats my butt as if it was a good game and pushed me to get up.

"Alright now... let's stop talking about this before I make you take this dress off."

I bat my eyes at him. I knew that if we didn't stop talking about sex that we would be late for JC's rehearsal dinner.

            I was still confused why JC was here and not at his own rehearsal dinner? Shouldn't he be there to set up or at least greet people as they come in? This makes me really wonder about the questions Justin had regarding this wedding. Was this something he really wanted to be doing? Or was this something on her part?

            Justin leaves the room but not before making a snide comment, "Do you think you two can be in the same room together and not have clothing removed?" I just look at him and JC gives a look of death.

With Justin out of the room I think this is my only chance to ask the question so I just do it. "I know you don't know me, even though you have seen... a lot of me..." I am laughing and he is blushing again. "... and I really don't know you that well but can I ask one question?"

"Sure, since I kind of owe you after what just happened? What's your question?"

"Why are you marrying Julia?"

A shocked look came across his face, "Wow, you just go right into the hard hitting questions don't you?"

"I don't see a reason in making small talk about nothing when I have a serious question to ask."

"I like that about you. No crap..." He pauses for a moment. "I guess I just realized one day that this was who I wanted to spend forever with. It didn't matter if we had spent a week together or ten years, I just knew."

"I respect that. If anyone can relate it's me."

"What's funny is Justin and I had a conversation about his ‘love' for you just a couple weeks after you met and I told him there is no way you could fall in love with someone in such a short time. But I was proven wrong... Sometimes you just know."

‘As long as she treats you well, and this is what you want. I am all for it. I would never want to see my boyfriend's best friend going through with something that he doesn't want to be doing... We don't know each other that well but I hope that changes. I know Justin would love to see you more."

"We are going to be living in Los Angeles, so we will have to get together more often. I would love to get to know you as well. After all I would want to be standing up at the altar when Justin marries you." JC as always just has the serious look on his face. "Can I ask you a question now?"

"Should I be scared?"

"No."

"Ok then shoot... what do you want to know?"

"Did you bring a copy of your album? You promised you would bring it for me to hear."

I had a shocked look on my face, "That is not what I expected at all." I reached into my clutch and pull out a disc. "This?"

"I'm dying to hear it. Justin has said so many great things about it." He smiles "What did you expect I was going to ask you?"

"I don't know, I just didn't think that would be the question."

"Well I have already seen what kind of panties you wear, so I have no other questions." We both laugh. This is something we will both never forget.

"Well then I guess it's time we go to you rehearsal dinner, since you are getting married tomorrow."

"Wow, I'm getting married tomorrow. Wow. That's kind of crazy."

Justin walks back into the room, "Yes, yes it is crazy. Not kind of. I remember... "

JC interrupts him "No. No stories."

            The jig is up. The press is very aware of where this dinner is going down at. We pull up to the front of the venue and Justin says, "Fuck. I hate that this happens all the time. I wanted them to have a private wedding. I guess that isn't going to happen."

            There is nothing we can do now. As we get out of the car I realize that it is a very cold night in NYC. I am so glad that I chose a slinky navy blue dress, which is next to nothing on the clothing front. I didn't expect it to be this cold yet. Justin offers me his coat but it doesn't match my dress so I opted for just walking quickly into the venue. At the door the security is tight. They are making sure every single person is on the list. I am shaking it is so cold. They even stopped Justin, I laugh at him because that never happens, ever. He loved it. He loved feeling unnoticeable for a moment in time.

Justin has his arms wrapped around me, trying to keep me warm when some from behind him yells, "Well who do we have here? Mr. I can't answer my phone calls." Justin turns around obviously recognizing the voice.

"Holy shit!" he reaches to shake their hand. "It's been quite a long time. How are you doing?"

"I can't complain that's for sure. I have spent the last five months in London working on a play."

"Wow that is great. I am sorry I haven't called. I have been very busy."

"It's ok. I understand. Who is this beautiful woman standing behind you?"

"This is Melissa, Melissa this is Lance. Which I am sure you are aware of that."

I reach out to shake his hand but he reaches out for a hug. "Honey if you are part of Justin's life you are a part of mine." He looks over at Justin, "Damn you found a good one this time and she is gorgeous. How did that happen?"

He shakes his head, "I'm not sure man. I'm not sure. She just walked into my life and made everything worth living again." The real question is how did I get so lucky.

"Well let's get in there and eat some food and drink some alcohol on JC's dime."

I turn to him and say, "Let's go!"

Julia turned out to be a very nice woman. I observed the way she looked at JC and how she was content standing beside him holding his hand while he talked to everyone.  She seemed to simply be in love with JC. It was a relief to Justin who was still convinced that there had to be something else for the reason they were getting married but he accepted that this was his choice and he would respect that.

The dress that I had chosen to wear to the wedding had to be thrown out because I found out that pink was her bridesmaid dress color. The last thing I wanted was to fit into her bridal party. So I opted for knee length eggplant purple color dress with a simple pair of black pumps. I walked out of the room and Justin sees the back of the dress. His jaw hits the floor.

"You like?" I asked.

"I... I..." He takes my hand and spins me around. "I'm... speechless."

"That's the perfect answer." I kiss him on the cheek. He pulls me closer and really kisses me. The deeper the kiss the more I want more so I have to pull back. They man drives me crazy. "You don't look so bad yourself. I love a man in a suit. Very sexy!" I smack his ass.

"Thanks babe." He can't stop looking at me, "I love all the cut outs that expose your back and the cut out right there at the breast line. Wow... the bare shoulder... damn... bad thoughts bad thoughts... We have to go."

            Arriving at the St. John the Divine Cathedral Church was breathtaking. It was absolutely gorgeous. The only negative thing about this church was the paparazzi, which kept their distant for the most part due to the high security level that surrounded the building.

            JC stood at the altar in his Dolce & Gabbana classic black tux. When the doors finally opened and Julia started to walk into the church, I looked back at JC who was standing there with the biggest smile on his face and tears in his eyes, I knew at that moment that this was exactly what he wanted. I take Justin's hand into mine and put my head on his shoulder and he kisses my forehead. She looked stunning in her ivory floor length Vera Wang gown. It was very simple yet very elegant.

            For the very first time, Justin and I shared the dance floor for a slow dance. We haven't been to a formal event together that allows us to be in that moment. He reaches for my hand and asks me to dance. He wraps those wonderful arms around my waist and can feel his fingers rubbing the skin where the cuts are in the back. I can feel my entire body on fire. How can someone make me feel like this with the gentlest touch?

            And if that wasn't enough the next thing to come out his mouth sends me over the edge. "I want to marry you. I want us to have our day. I want you to take my last name."

Chicago is cold. Really cold. I may have grown up in Ohio, but I never liked cold weather. I dreaded the entire winter months. So why I now live in California and decide to tour during the winter is beyond me. The tour kicked off just over two months ago and it has been dream worthy. I love being up on that stage every night. The first couple shows I was really nervous but it was worth every moment of it.

We spent Thanksgiving in New York City with the entire crew. We arranged to have a Thanksgiving feast for everyone. Madison Square Garden had been turned into a stage and a dinner party. If we couldn't be with our family's it was nice to spend it with our second family. 

Justin and Steve has become this unit from the moment we started touring. It makes me want to hurl a little bit. I was however amazed that Steve was even content with someone I was with, it was a total shock. Today is no different. We are in Chicago and I would really like to maybe see some sights despite the cold, but they have made plans to do other things. I think Kia and I lost our other halves to each other.

Kia is shaking her head. "I love that they get along, but damn it's like they are together now."

"I know right?"

            This Chicago date was the last one in the states for a while. We will spend the next three weeks overseas. Then finally be home for Christmas then be in New York City for New Years Eve.

            Kia and I enter the Atwood café to have lunch and it didn't work out as well as I thought it was going to. Everyone is the café is staring. There is press outside the windows and I can't even enjoy my hot vanilla cappuccino that I had been craving all morning.

"How do you deal with this every day?" Kia asks in a very low voice.

"I don't know how to deal with it really. Normally they are following Justin and he guides me into what I need to do. They must assume he is going to be coming here as well."

"Mel, you do realize they are following you now, not just Justin."

"No, they are looking to get a shot of Justin doing something he shouldn't be doing."

She is laughing at me. "No, Mel... you are the celebrity now. They are following you."

"That's silly."I am staring at the menu as if has changed in the last ten minutes I have been looking at it.

"Well it may be but that's what is going on. You are the celebrity now."

"When did that happen?" I am laughing at her. The whole idea that I was this ‘celebrity' was just silliness.

"The moment you stepped onto that plane... ever since you decided to fall in love with Justin, became this amazing fashion designer, and oh yea have a number one single off an album that is coming out shortly."

"I still can't believe my song was number one. That's crazy." I had to sort of change the subject.

"It wasn't just number one. It was number one for eight weeks. That's a damn good accomplishment."

"It's not number one now." I put on the frown face.

"Shut up. It's like number three now. You haven't fallen off the charts. Plus your album comes out in a month. You have no worries..."

"Oh I have a lot of worries... trust me a lot of worries."

"You need to not worry about all of this. Have you seen the response you are getting from all the fans at the shows?"

"All those people pay to come see Justin. I know that and it's ok."

"You don't see how great you are, do you? You never have but you really should give yourself more credit. Every show I see more and more fans there to see you."

            I was quiet and I put my head down, she kept talking. "This is really happening Mel. It really is."

"Anyways..." I have to change the subject. I don't want to talk about that anymore. I whisper very low at her "Did I tell you Justin said he wanted to marry me?" The smile grows bigger and bigger across my face.

"I'm not surprised."

"WHAT?" That was really loud. Everyone has turned to look at us. Crap. "Why are you not surprised?"

She whispers again, "Come on now, that man is going to marry you one day. I am actually more surprised he hasn't proposed yet."

‘Really, I didn't think we were ready to actually be talking about getting married. We have only ... "

She interrupts me "I don't want to hear you have only been together for a couple months... blah blah blah. Don't give me that crap. It's just a matter of time before he does propose. He does know that the gang has to give him permission, right?"

"I'm sure he is aware of that."

"He better. If he proposes without asking us first he is going to be in some serious trouble."

"Great... chasing away the one person that might ever marry me."

"He isn't going anywhere." She is overly confident in my relationship with Justin.

"Have you spoken to Stacy?" I have the tears in my eyes just thinking about her.

"No, I haven't. I can't believe she is acting like this." Kia is rolling her eyes.

"I just don't understand how she can be so mad at me because I offered her husband the job of his dreams."

"We have known her a long time, so we should have assumed that she would act childish about this. Seriously she hasn't even come out on the road once to see Mike. From my understanding she told him that if he didn't quit the tour she was going to file for divorce. Mike even thought about it, saying that he doesn't want to lose his wife over playing music but he decided that his wife needs to accept his choices and support him. That's part of being married."

"She is being really selfish about all of this. I have called her so many times and she just won't return a single phone call." I lower my head and think, how could she do this? "I guess I will never understand her outlook. I understand that a long distance a marriage is difficult but there are many chances for her to see him. Maybe this is what she wants."

            We return to the hotel and there is still no sign of Justin or Steve. I hope whatever they are doing it doesn't get them into trouble. I don't trust those two together; two pranksters shouldn't be allowed to play together. We are walking through the lobby and I see someone I recognize but with Lonnie standing nearly a foot behind me I don't stop I just get on the elevator. "Did you just see who that was? I was that person was looking directly at me" I ask Kia but she isn't sure. She didn't see anyone.

            We arrive in my room and the boys are not in there either. What could they be doing here in Chicago? This was our one day off before the show tomorrow then a flight to London. I wanted to spend some time with Justin, alone. When my hotel phone rings the first thought was the boys have done something and I have to know go bail them out. But Lonnie answers the phone and says, "Melissa, Chris on the phone for you."

"Chris? My guitarist Chris?"

"No, He says it's Chris Daughtry."

"WHAT?" My eyes are huge and in shock. I thought that was him downstairs.

Kia blurts very quickly from behind me, "Answer the phone, answer it!"

I wasn't sure I could speak. This was seriously Chris Daughtry? The mega superstar who sells out arenas or any venue they play at? He is seriously calling my room? Why?

"Mel, answer the phone!!"

            Wow I snapped back into reality and picked up the phone.
"Hello."

"Melissa? Hi this is Chris... Chris Daughtry."

"Hi." It's all I could speak clearly.

"I saw you downstairs. I didn't know you were staying in the same hotel as us. That's pretty cool."

 "I thought I saw you downstairs, but I wasn't sure. And I honestly didn't think you would be looking at me as if you knew me so I thought it was someone else." Ok stupid calm yourself down.

"It was me. I thought it was you but your security guy is pretty big and I didn't want to mess with him."

I breathe finally and speak more words now, "That's Justin's security guy."

"Oh, I didn't see Justin." He sounds surprised that Justin would be with me.

"Well that's because he and my best friend are M.I.A."

"Should Justin Timberlake be alone on the streets of Chicago? I could totally see him getting mobbed or something."

"He isn't alone, Shawn his other security guard is with him."

"Oh I see he needs two."

"We all are not as special as him..." I start laughing because if anyone really knew Justin that would think he was special.

"So anyways the reason I am calling... We have a show tonight and I was wondering if you would like to come and join me on stage for a song?"

"I'm sorry what?" I must have been hearing things.

"I would like you to join me on stage tonight, maybe do ‘Tennessee Line'?"

"You're serious?"

"Of course I am."

"Tell me when I will be there." How could I not drop and run.

"How's six? We can sound check you then rehearse the song a little. Do you already know the lyrics?"

"Oh yes. That is by far my favorite song you have ever recorded."

"Wow, I chose the right song then. See you at six?"

"See you then."

            What the hell just happened? I think I just got an invite from Chris mother fuckin' Daughtry to sing on stage with him. I start jumping up and down as if I gotten the news that I won the lottery.

Where is Justin? I want to share this moment with him. I call his phone but there was no answer. Forty five minutes later he calls me, I feel like I am losing him. It really has nothing to do with him hanging out with Steve, it's just a feeling I can't shake. I guess maybe it's because I could really see myself being with him forever or it's that very idea that is scaring the hell out of me.

"Hey babe. Everything ok?"

"Everything is... fine."

"That doesn't sound to convincing? Are you ok?"

"I just miss you... and I got some really great news today and I wanted you to be there to celebrate with me." We both got quiet for a moment. "I just miss you."

"I am so sorry. I didn't realize that me being away was a problem for you? I thought you were happy to spend time with your best friend. Is Kia not there now?"

"It's not that. I... I'm just having a selfish moment. I'm sorry this isn't your fault."

"It is. I am on my way back to the hotel. I will be there in ten minutes. Then you can tell me your exciting news."

            He seemed so different. He was speaking short sentences to get me off the phone. You would think the way I felt, it was as if we were on two separate tours and not together every single day. Did he seriously think I was ok with him not being around as much? He had to know that is not what I wanted. Maybe I was being selfish? Maybe this has nothing to do with him. Maybe I have lost one of my very best friends, someone who was supposed to stand next to me through everything, and I just needed him more now, I wasn't sure.

            He comes through the door with a big smile on his face and was anxious to know what this news was but I wasn't so excited about it all anymore. I felt my heart aching and there was nothing I could do to fix it. This is the man that told me he wanted to marry me? Had I changed and he changed his mind? Was this something I was over reacting about? I wasn't too sure of anything right at this moment.

I pick up the phone and dial room service, "Can I get a bottle of 901 Tequila sent to the penthouse please?"

He looked at me, as if he knew I was upset. "Drinking already? I thought you said you had good news."

"I did. But it isn't so exciting anymore. I need a drink."

"Mel?" He walks over to me and wraps his arms around me. "I love you." He kisses the top of my head.

I start to cry, "Do you? Because right now at this moment that sounded pretty empty."

"I'm sorry but what is going on? Did I miss something?"

"I don't know, I don't know anything anymore." I turn and walk into the bedroom area when the doorbell rings. He answered the door and got the bottle of 901 that I was waiting on.

He walks into the bedroom and is holding the bottle in his hand. "You are not getting this until you tell me what is wrong, why you are drinking tequila at three in the afternoon and what this news was that you were so excited about that I obviously have ruined by not being here."

"I have lost one my best friends because I chose to have her husband join my band. This was someone that was always supposed to be there for me, someone that I trusted my life with."

"Mel, I am not going anywhere. I love you. The choices that Stacy has made are something she is going to have to deal with but I am not Stacy. I am not going anywhere."

"Why does this always happen to me? Am I always going to run when I think you are going to leave?"

He reaches for my hands, "I will never leave, so we don't have to worry about that. You have had people in your past and in your present that seem to hurt you. I haven't really asked about any of it because I know how much it hurts to talk about it sometimes but I think it's time to let go of the past, don't let it affect you daily life now. There is a reason that those people are not in your life anymore."

"She is supposed to be my best friend."

"Yea she is. So why hasn't she called you? Why is she being selfish about this whole situation?"

"I don't know. I should have made a different choice with Mike."

"No, you made the right choice with Mike. He was the perfect choice for the band. This thing with her has nothing to do with you. It is her insecurities. Yea the fact that he is on the road and it is for your band makes you part of it but this is something wrong with her. You have done nothing wrong. Now, enough about her... What is this news that was so great earlier?"

"I love you, do you know that?"

"I do."

"Chris Daughtry is staying in this hotel today..."

He cocks his head sideways, "Should I be worried that you are going to run off and marry him?"

"Yes... Yes you should. I finally found a guy to marry me." I am laughing then continue, "He wants me to join him on stage tonight at his show. He wants me to sing with him!"

"Oh my god that is great news for you. He is an amazing musician. I am so happy for you!"

"You don't seem so excited."

"You are going to join one of the biggest rock bands in the world onstage tonight. That's pretty fucking awesome!"

"I'm a little nervous, that was the reason for the 901."

"Well then I think we should have some shots. What time do you have to be there?"

"Six."

"Mel..." He lifts my chin up so that I am looking him into the eyes, "I love you. We will spend a lot more alone time together, I promise. I really thought you wanted to spend time with Kia."

"I love Kia and I love spending time with her it's not that... it's just sometimes I want to lie in bed with you and do nothing. Or well do whatever comes to our minds but I want to spend some time with just you."

            Rehearsal is always a great time, and this one was no exception. Once I started singing with the band, I felt comfortable. JP was totally making fun of me the entire time. He kept saying that I was singing to loud, I was overpowering his bass and needed to calm myself. They were a great group of guys to be around. Chris isn't so much of a perfectionist, which I thought he was going to be. It was like smooth sailing through rehearsals.

            I found out that Chris's daughter had rearranged her visiting time with him because she wanted to see my show in Chicago. And this would be the only way she could see the show. After everything that happened today, I think this really made my day. She was excited to see me... not her dad... not even Justin Timberlake, I was on cloud nine.

            Walking out as the surprise guest at a rock concert was a little intimidating. These people could very easily boo me right off that stage. And as I walked out there to do the opening line I feel that quiver in my stomach that makes me know that I am about to do something big. The music starts, the extended beginning threw off most people then Chris introduced me, "Ladies and Gentleman, the amazing Melissa Roberts." I stepped out onto the stage and begin the first verse. The crowd was quiet. "I open my lungs, to breathe in forgiveness in love... Haunting me now, reminders of how I used to be... And on down the road the troubles are sure to follow... Looking out the window the hell if I know where I will go so I'll just keep on driving..." The crowd is completely quiet still. I was scared at this point. Then out of nowhere they started singing along.

"On my way to L.A... looking into the rearview, as the roads fade away... Sworn off my past... First and last bad call that I ever made... Tell me how to make right, every wrong turn that I've learned so this can all end tonight... Tennessee line just changed my mind... It's my heart I'll follow this time..."

            After finishing the song I say, "Thank you. Tonight this song means more to me than it ever has before. More than ever..." I realized that I was holding on to the past and that all those mistakes or horrible things that have happened to me I couldn't let them go. I continued to carry them with me and now there was someone that has come into my life and changed everything. He was my Tennessee Line.

 Its 3am L.A. time and I am up for the Grammy nominations. I felt honored that they asked me to help announce the nominations so I was willing to get up super early and do it. Walking the red carpet into the Grammy Nominations at 4:30am however wasn't what I wanted to be doing. I'm not much of a morning person. I'm barely awake as it is and they are asking questions as if I am supposed to be able to answer them with any real thought process. They ask silly questions, stupid questions, and questions like this... "Are you nervous about the nominations being announced?" And of course all the words have to register through my brain before I can answer the question.

"No." I'm lying. I was scared shitless. "I'm here to announce the nominations. It's actually an honor that they wanted me to come do this."

"What if you're nominated today?" The interviewer asks, as he shoves the microphone back in my face.

"Oh, I don't even have to answer that. I won't be nominated."

"Why do you say that?"

"It's the Grammy's?" I chuckle."And my single wasn't out early enough to become a contender."

"Are you sure? I think you made the cut by two days or something."

"Wow, I didn't know that. It's all good I am happy to be here to announce the nominations to the people that deserve them!"

Meredith saves me from the scene. She informs me that I have to get inside now. It was nice to have her back in the same city I was in. With her doing so much work for me on the William Rast line I usually only communicate with her through email and phone calls. But with the album releasing now it was time to really focus on the music side of my career.

As I stand on that stage and hear the nominations I think, this time last year I was watching these nominations on television. Wow, how a year can change things. My friend, Chris Daughtry, yes I said my friend, who has been standing next to the entire time leaves me alone standing up there with these megastars and I feel out of place. I put my head down because the flashes of the camera were giving me a headache. In his deep raspy voice he announces the nominations. "For Best New Artist the nominations are... April Smith... claps ...Them Boys in the Stripes... claps ... Jenya ... claps... and Melissa Roberts. Congratulations to everyone nominated." My head raises really fast, my jaw drops, and my heart begins to beat so fast I can't catch my breath. Did he just say my name? I feel myself about to break down. The tears stream down my face. I was just nominated for a Grammy award.

            Chris came back over to his spot, "Congratulations Melissa! Best New Artist. Pretty damn amazing!!" Wow, this was real. This was really happening. And now, I have to be calm and collected to announce my category of nominations.

            I step up to that podium and stand there for a moment. The flashes of the camera are non-stop. "I'm sorry. I am trying to gather words back into my brain. I'm seriously shocked by that nomination... anyways enough about me. The nominations for Album of the Year are... Daughtry "Hometown"... claps... Rascal Flatts "Until Now"... claps... April Smith "Domination"... claps... and Justin Timberlake "Life Lessons". The smile is huge on my face as I look backstage and see him standing there. "Congratulations Everyone."

            If that isn't the right way to kick off the New Year, I don't know which way I should. The album releasing next week was the only thing I was focused on and now this has really made everything much more exciting. I was a Grammy nominated artist. 

****

The lights are bright and the flashes are non-stop. I should be getting used to this but I still get so nervous. The stomach still turns. The feeling of nausea doesn't seem to go away. As I stand on that red carpet with my name plastered on the billboard behind me I realize that this is was reality. I had really made it in the industry. Everyone was here to show support me. That was enough to bring me to my knees. The smile on my face was beaming so bright I think I could light up the city of Los Angeles.

There were celebrities all around me, some that I have looked up to, some that I have worked with, and some that only accept an invite because it allows them to be photographed. The friends that I have spent most of my life with were here to support me; well most of them were there. Stacy has still refused to even speak to me. I couldn't dwell over her choices. I had a life to live and unfortunately it was without her in it. I had hoped she would show up and support me but it doesn't look like that is going to happen. My mother and step-father arrived earlier today with my brothers. My sisters also arrived today all the way from Cleveland.

Justin must have saw the look that came across my face because he walks over to where I was standing on the red carpet and kisses me and whispers in my ear, "I'm sorry she didn't show. I love you." I may have lost my best friend but I have the most wonderful man on the earth that loves me.

This night was all about the album. I was glad it was finally out for people to hear. I was relieved that I didn't have that pressure anymore. It was out there and there was nothing I could do to change anything now.

One hour turned into two hours then it was nearly three in the morning. Justin had wanted to leave earlier so I sent him home just over two hours ago. He was worn out. I wanted him to stay the entire night but I understood he was tired and I convinced him leave.

When Kia, Steve, and I finally called for the limo to pick us up I was beyond tired. I felt like I couldn't even walk to the car. We finally get in the car and I slumped down in the seat from exhaustion. Tonight was a great night, but it was tiring. I only wished that I could sleep in the car. But I knew that I would be home in ten minutes and it was pointless.

I heard a car that sounded very close to us slam on their breaks. The squeal was deafening. I heard a short scream of a woman's voice before a loud smash. The pain was intense and the bleeding was uncontrollable. I screamed for Kia and Steve but neither answered me. "Help" I reached for my phone but I the pain from my abdomen was so intense I couldn't move. Then there was total darkness again.

The paramedics arrived on scene and transported four patients from a car accident that reportedly was carrying Melissa Roberts, two of her friends and the limo driver from her album release party. We saw her rumored fiancé Justin Timberlake arriving at Cedars-Sinai Hospital just about twenty minutes ago, so we know he wasn't involved in the car accident. There are no further details at this time.

"Shut the TV off... shut it off now please." Justin snaps at a person that is sitting in the waiting room. Justin is scared that his world that was lying on that surgical table right now was not going to end well. He was in so much pain not knowing what is going on. It had been three hours since the surgery started and not a single word from one single doctor. They were telling him nothing and they make each second that passes harder to bear. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you." The woman sitting in the chair three seats down from him nods as she understood the pain he was in and it wasn't something against her.

            Justin dials his mothers phone number and in a tone that Lynn has every heard before she hears her son on the other end of the line saying, "Mom" is the worse scratchy emotion-filled ‘Mom' she hopes she will never hear again.

            She sits up straight in her bed. "Justin, honey what's wrong?"

"Mom... Mel..." The amount of energy it takes to speak is too hard for Justin to do right now.

"Justin, what's wrong. You're scaring me."

"I need you." Three words Justin doesn't normally say.

"Where are you?"

"Cedar-Sinai."

"Oh my god. I will be right there."

"Mom, I need you... and I need you to call her mother. I just can't do."

"What happened?"

"Car accident... She is in surgery. They won't tell me anything...." His voice trails off.

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes. Are you alone?"

"Yes."

"I'm on my way. I love you, Justin Randall. I will be right there."

            Justin drops phone and sobs into hands. Never has he felt so helpless, so out of touch. He is fighting with himself. He shouldn't have left her at that party. He should have sucked it up and stayed there with her. His 5:00 wakeup call for some stupid magizine was not worth this. If he has ever screwed up in his life, this had to be his biggest mistake. Nothing was going to prevent this from happening. Justin was just beating himself up over it.

            Lynn see's her son sitting in almost a huddle position, sobbing and it breaks her heart. She knows there is nothing she can do to help him other than to be there for him. Everything was out of their hands now. She has never seen her son hurt so badly and she has been there threw all of the bad in Justin's life.

            She approaches him and sees the redness that has gathered around his eyes, the pain that rest in those eyes are hard bear. She wraps her arms around him and he loses it again. He sobs on the shoulder the one person who has always been there when he needed someone. His whole world was in pieces. "I'm so sorry Justin. I'm so sorry."

He looks up at his mother, "I need to find Steve and Kia."

"Where are they?"

"I think they are still in emergency room. They were in the car with Melissa. I just can't leave this room until I know she is ok. But I am worried about them. I need to know they are okay."

"I will go check on them. I will be right back."

He grabs a hold of her hand, "I love you, mom."

"I love you, I will be right back."

            Just as Lynn gets to the elevator, the doors open and Steve and Kia step out of the elevator.  Steve has what looks like a broken arm and Kia had cuts that needed stitches on her arms but they seemed to be ok.

Justin jumps up and rushes toward them. "How are you guys? Everything okay?"

"Were fine, just minor things. Where is Mel?" Kia asked as they finally approach each other.

That simple question felt like a knife through his chest yet again. "In surgery."

Kia sits in the chair next to Justin. "Have they updated you yet?"

"No, and I haven't moved from this spot since I got here."

"Have you called... Ellen?"Steve asks the one question no one wanted to bring it up.

"Yes, my mother called her... How do I explain any of this to her mother when she gets here? I don't even know what is going on..." Justin breaks down again. The tears seem to continue to flood down his face. Kia tries to comfort him and he can't deal with it. He gets up and walks over towards the windows, hoping to get some kind of clarity. "I shouldn't have left. I should have been with her in that car. I should have been there to protect her." He sees the one person he has been dreading to see in the reflection of the window. "Ellen... I'm so sorry..."

            As Melissa's mother walks towards him she could see the pain he was going through. She knew this wasn't his fault. He may be taking the blame for it but this wasn't his fault. She hugs him and hangs on for dear life. "Justin, this isn't your fault... Nothing you could have done would change this outcome. We just have to pray that she pulls through the surgery and..." She feels herself losing her balance. Steve helps her to a chair. "Oh my god, I can't believe this is happening."

            Ellen sits there with Justin just holding his hand. "I really don't have to worry anymore do I?"

Justin looks confused, "What do you mean? I don't have any news yet"

"You're good. Hearing that she is happy and that you love her is one thing. But seeing the love for her that you have is breathtaking. You are that man that deserves the love of my daughter's heart. You are the answers to all my prayers." If there was a dry eye in that waiting area, there surely wasn't now.

"I love your daughter more than life itself. She is the reason I get out of bed every day and live my life. I have never in my life loved someone the way I love her."

"You better marry my daughter."

For the first time in hours, Justin smiles. "I will. That's a promise I know I can make."

            Three surgeons walk through those double doors and sit down in the chairs next to Justin and Ellen.

"Melissa lost a lot of blood." They all stared at those doctors, just hoping for some good news. "She had a piece of metal that entered her abdomen which ruptured her spleen and a tear on her intestines. She also fractured her left arm however she should be just fine. A long recovery but she will be fine."

            At that moment you can hear everyone exhale and breathe for the first time. Justin is the first to speak, "When can I see her?"

"They are taking her to recovery now. You have to understand that she may not wake up immediately. It could be hours."

"That doesn't matter. I just need to be there and hold her hand."

"The nurse will come in get you ask soon as she is settled in her room."

"Thank you. Thank you so much."

            Just as the doctors leave the room Meredith comes storming through the doors. She is pale white and looks lost and worried. She approaches Justin, "What's going on? I am so sorry, I just got the phone call." Her voice shaky and she is hysterically crying.

"She's ok. The surgeon just informed us that she is fine." He grabs a hold her and hugs her. "She is going to be fine."

The nurse finally comes out twenty three minutes later, yes Justin checks his watch every minute or so, she gave them the ok and showed them where her room was.

            Justin walked slowly but in front of the group alongside Ellen trying to prepare himself for what he is about to see when he walks through that door. Lying peacefully in that hospital bed he sees his beautiful girlfriend. She had bruises on her arms and an incision on the upper left side of her abdomen but other than that she was herself, his perfect girlfriend, his other half.

            He pulls the chair next to her bed and intertwines their fingers. Rubbing his fingers over her gentle curve of her hand he whispers in her ear, "I'm not going anywhere. I love you."

            He fell asleep in that very position, just holding her hand. He was awoken by the movement of her hand. He quickly jumps up. He smiles at her, "Hey babe."

"Ouch." I am trying to move. "What happened?"

He speaks in a whisper, trying not to wake her mother and his mother who refused to leave. "Don't move. It's going to hurt. You were in a car accident on the way home this morning. Your limo was struck by another vehicle."

"Where are Steve and Kia? Are they okay?" The panic streamed across her face.

"They are fine. I sent them home about an hour ago. They were exhausted."

"This really screws up my schedule." I throw my head back into the pillow.

"Shut up."

"Did you just tell me to shut up?"

"Yes I did. That schedule means nothing right now... you have to do something for yourself for a change." He continues to run his fingers over the curve of her hand.

"You look exhausted. You should go home and get some sleep." Even having surgery I don't want to be the one people have to worry about.

"I'm fine right here." He stands up and kisses her on her forehead. "I love you."

"How did I get so lucky?"

"I wouldn't call this lucky? You had to have major surgery."

"I'm talking about you. How did I get so lucky to find you? You are pretty amazing."

"I think that's debatable."

I laugh at him and it hurts, "Ouch. I guess I can't do that yet."

"I have no clue how I am going keep you from doing anything and get yourself better."

"That's going to be a challenge for you Mr. Timberlake."

            Justin climbs into that very small hospital bed and crawls up next to her. He needs to be next to her. He needs to feel her heartbeat against his chest.

   Spending three whole days in that hospital was like spending a week at the beach in the hotel room and never seeing the ocean. Justin left me for maybe a couple hours each day. He insisted on spending the night and sharing that tiny bed with me. I wasn't complaining though. I hated hospitals and it was nice to have him lay next to me. I didn't sleep well in the hospital, even with him next to me. There were hours when I would just stare at him while he was sleeping and watch him breathe. Creepy as that might be, I could have died that night and I would have left this precious man here to fend for his self. The thought of leaving him behind sends a dagger right through my heart. I couldn't imagine the pain that he had to be going through. If I put myself in his shoes for just a moment I think I would have been certifiably insane. He was my rock.

            Waking up that last morning, I was trying to be quiet while watching TV but it wasn't working. The TV kept going up and down in the sound. He finally awakes and wiggles his way out of the bed and reaches for the coffee that Kia had just dropped off for us. She knew that we liked our Starbucks coffee. It had to be strong and hot. The hospitals coffee wasn't that great.

            Lonnie and Shawn have camped themselves out in front of the door in shifts the last three days. They are going to need a mini-vacation after this. I was surprised they were even allowing nurses into the room. The press had been camped outside for days. From my room you could see them scattered around the entire property and beyond of the hospital. Justin has only left the hospital when Lonnie and Shawn change shifts. He said the last time he left that he had never seen the press like this before, ever.

            Walking isn't as difficult now as it was the first day after surgery. I worry about moving certain ways which I would have never given a second thought about before. I was packing my things, getting ready to get out of this place. The doctor yesterday promised me that if my vitals were fine, I didn't have a fever, and the incision was healing okay then I could leave in the morning. I was counting down the minutes until I was discharged.

            Justin moves the car to a better location for me to get in without being completed hounded by the photographers. When he walks back into the room he says, "Look who I found." I turn to see that that it's someone I have mixed feelings for seeing standing in my hospital room.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you. I'm sorry that I was being selfish. I'm sorry that I am a horrible friend."

            I don't know what to say to her. Should I be happy that my best friend had flown across the country to see me? Yes I should be but I was not happy with her. She has chosen to alienate me and not be the friend I needed her to be. "Stac... I just. I just don't know what to say to you."

"You don't have to say anything. I am the one that screwed up. I made the mistakes. I should have returned your phone calls. I was being selfish."

"Well I think that's the most honest thing I have ever heard you say. After everything that has happen in my life I thought you would be the one standing next to me through it all but at the end of the day you were selfish. You were supposed to be there for some of the biggest moments of my life and more than that you weren't there for your husband... the man you promised to love, honor, and cherish for the rest of your life..." She may be the last person I want to see right now.

"I'm sorry. I messed up." She lowers her head, but she isn't convincing me that this is really what she wants to be doing. It didn't feel heartfelt.

"You know how am I am with people and you messed up this time."

"I know that I have to earn my trust back. I know that I have step up and see my husband that I have also refused to talk to. When I saw the news on TV that you were in that accident it really changed my outlook on everything. I can't keep running from everything. I need to face them. And... and I should have been someone that Justin called. I'm supposed to be that friend."

"When we lost Megan that changed everything about me. Why do you think that with me living three thousand miles away I still try as hard as I can to keep in contact with everyone? We can't rely on loosing someone to realize what we already have in our lives. We need to appreciate what we have every day." For a moment I felt bad for throwing the Megan thing out, but it was the truth.

"Mel, you have always been like that. Even before Meg died, you have always been a selfless person. I on the other hand have been pretty selfish. I have to learn how to put others feelings first."

"I don't want to be rude, but I think the first person you need to apologize to should be your husband. I can live with whatever choices you make, but he shouldn't have to. He is your husband after all. They should be choices made together."

"You don't understand our marriage."

"Your right, I don't. And I have never been married, however I understand commitment and trust. Mike has always bent over backwards for you. He has always simply done what you wanted to do... and for the first time in his life... he did something for him." She looks kind of stunned. "Mike has been happier than I have ever seen him before. Seeing him on that stage every night rockin' it, is something I wish you could have seen. He really loves to be on that stage."

            The nurse walks into the room and interrupts us, I was glad about because I wanted to go home badly. I was over having this conversation with her and I was over her defending her actions when she is clearly in the wrong. I sign the papers and I am finally free to go.

***

            "Melissa, get your ass back in that bed." Justin has been a great little nurse for me but I was going stir crazy just sitting in this bed all the time or moving to the couch and sitting there. I wanted to get out of the house. I wanted to make Justin dinner. I didn't want to be this helpless person anymore. "The doctor said a couple more days and he will release you to light duty."

"Light duty?" I point at his penis, "Is that considered light duty? Because I really think that is what I need that right now."

Justin has to turn away and walk out of the room. "Don't tempt me girl... don't tempt me."

I yell very loudly so he can hear me. "I'm not tempting you... I am serious. I really think that's what I need to feel better. It's been two weeks..."

He enters the room, looking as if a light bulb has just turned on, "The doctor never said we couldn't." The smirk is so big on his face that it makes me laugh.

I pull him down onto the bed. "Then we must follow the doctor's orders."

"I have to be at the Paramount in an hour so, why not use the time wisely."

            This is the first day Justin has left my side in two weeks. I was better. Everything was getting back to normal. When he left he made sure that he said, "Stay in this house today." Little to Justin's knowledge, I had plans that involved me getting out of this house today. He was going to work and I was going to be the good girlfriend and have dinner waiting for him when he got home. I didn't need to stay in that bed anymore, unless he was going to join me again.

            I called Kia and I even took Shawn with me. Normally I would have left without security but I thought if I was going to go against what he said I would at least bring backup. When Kia arrived, the first thing she asked about Stacy and I explained to her that I didn't want to even discuss it anymore. She has been in L.A. for two solid weeks and still hasn't attempted to work things out. Saying that you want something to change and actually doing something about it is two different things.

            From the moment I drove out of the driveway and through those gates, I knew it was going to be an adventure. There were paparazzi waiting at that gate and just when I thought maybe they were not there to get a picture of me, they start following the car. I was going to Whole Foods, how was this entertaining?

            The vehicle is surrounded my cameras and flashes. I couldn't even open the door. I have to say, I was a little scared. Shawn rushes to the other side of the vehicle and pushes us through the fifty or so photographers that where there. It was a complete mob scene. Of course then when you walk into the store everyone has turned to see who is walking through the door. Now instead of having fifty cameras in our faces we have a couple hundred eyes balls starring back at you, watching your every move. They want to see you get your eggs and milk. It is the strangest thing.

            But then there are moments like when a little girl walks up to you, who has ran away from her mother and couldn't be more than eight years old... and she asks very politely, "Are you Melissa, the... the singer? Can I get a picture with you?" And she pulls out her blackberry, which every eight year old should have and has her mother, who is out of breathe from chasing you down the aisles, to take the picture. Moments like that are priceless. Who would have known an eight year old would even know who I was.

            When Justin calls during his lunch break he immediately asks where I am because of course at this very moment there would be talking over the intercom. Damn I was busted. There wasn't much he can do now, plus he knows how stubborn I am. The trip out of the store was worse than walking in. I guess they all call their paparazzi friends to join them.

            I line up all the ingredients to make dinner. I was craving some Italian fried chicken. I loved to cook and this would be something small I could do for him since he has done so much for me in the last couple weeks. I cut all the chicken into strips, started laying out all the ingredients, and prepared the grease at the perfect temperature. I had the radio on low, as I sang along to every song that I heard.

            "I love to come home from a long day at work and see a gorgeous woman standing in the kitchen cooking. It's even better when they are cooking for me!" I turn to see Justin standing in the doorway just leaning casually. "As much as I love the idea of you standing half naked in our kitchen, shouldn't you be somewhere relaxing?"

I rinse the breading off my hands, I walk over to him, wrap my arms around his neck and get as close to him as I can without touching his skin. "Justin. I am fine." I begin to kiss his neck and up his jaw line, just millimeters away from his mouth. I can feel that is what he wants but I wasn't letting him have it. Finally he pulls my face into his. He normally gets what he wants, this was no different. Then he whispers in my year, "Can I help you?" I feel my entire insides start to catch fire. "Of course you can!" I kiss him even deeper and more passionately this time. I wanted him to pull me up onto the counter and really help me out. But that isn't what Justin had in mind.

He turns to wash his hands, looks back at me as he is washing his hands. "What?"

"That is not what I thought you were going to help me with."

"You have a dirty, dirty mind. I was talking about food." When he smiles at me with the same dirty thoughts in his mind it really makes me want to throw him against the counter and take advantage of him.

"Fine, I guess I can show you how to cook."

"I don't need lessons."

"I love you Justin but yes, you do. At least when you are cooking my chicken." I bob my head back and forth.

"Oh is this ‘Melissa's famous chicken'?" He throws up his quoting fingers.

"Damn right it is." I attempted to show him what he needed to do, but he wasn't paying attention, typical for Justin. "Justin... not like that. You have to put it in the flour first, then the egg ... then the breadcrumbs..."

"Maybe I want it this way..."

"Maybe I would like it to be edible."

"Fine. Whatever you say Ms. Queen of the Kitchen."

"I like the way that sounds... remember that one."

He shakes his, "Why do I say things that are going to bite me in the ass later?"

"You're a male species... it's in your nature."

            Forty-five minutes later we are sitting at the dinner table. Justin seems to be really enjoying that chicken because I have heard him speak in the last ten minutes. Then finally you get a muffled sound of him attempting to speak "This is gooood."

"I told you it was going to be good."

"I might have to add Melissa's Famous Fried Chicken to the menu at Southern Hospitality."

"You can't have the secret ingredient. Sorry."

"Oh, I have ways of getting that out of you..."

"Sorry Mr. Timberlake that's my secret to keep!"

***

With everything that has happened in the last two months it was time for us to get away. Justin had won that Grammy award for album of the year... along with two others. I was in tears the entire time he was standing up there accepting that award, I guess it didn't help that just minutes before I was standing on that very stage accepting an award for best new artist. Something I never thought would happen. So this was perfect timing for us. It would be our first anniversary and we needed a break so here we are on a flight on our way to Cancun, a nice relaxing weekend with just the two of us.

In the very same room that we shared our first date, we were having our first anniversary dinner. When I walk into that room there are red roses scattered everywhere. Petals on the floor, vases full of those beautiful rich red roses. Much the same as the ones I received the day I realized I need to be with him and jumped on a plane. The best choice I had ever made in my life.

            Justin seemed fidgety when we first got there, but seemed to calm down once we unpacked our things. "Let's step out on the balcony, watch the waves crash into the sand." He knew that was one of my favorite things in the world.

We step out on to the balcony and the weather was perfect. It was just dark enough to see stars beginning to shine bright. We step against the rail of the balcony and I see thousands of candles light up in the sand that spelled out, ‘I love you, Melissa Roberts' I turn say I love you in return and Justin has dropped down to one knee.

Two paper thin bands lined with diamonds that lead to the center stone that is the most brilliant cut I have ever seen were staring back at me inside that blue box. The tears are rolling down my face. He begins to speak beautiful words and the infamous words that I never thought I would hear were being asked to me.

"So many times I thought I held it in my hands, but just like grains of sand, love slipped through my fingers.  So many nights I asked the Lord above please make me lucky enough to find a love that lingers..." He begins to cry but composes himself to finish when he is trying to say. "And you walked into my life and it was like a breath of fresh air. Something happens when you look at me I forget to speak, something happens when you kiss my mouth my knees get so weak, I can't believe...that something like you could happen to me.... And with you by my side I can do anything. I don't care what tomorrow brings as long as we're together. This has always been something stronger than the two of us alone. I want to spend every morning waking up next to you... Even when you say nothing at all, you seem to say everything I need to hear. I want to see you in that white dress, the train full of lace, hair swept back, and you taking my last name." I am sobbing at this point. "Melissa Roberts, Will you marry me?"

The sun is shining brightly into our room this morning. The exquisite platinum ring on my left hand was glimmering in the sunlight. I couldn't stop looking at it. I was officially engaged to the most wonderful man in the world. I examine the ring even closer, seeing the two thin bands on each side of the ring lead to brackets that hold up the center three carat diamond were also lined in diamonds. I never wanted something that was too big but I wanted it to make a statement and I believe that he had found the perfect one. It was something I would wear everyday and be happy with it.

I removed the ring from my finger to see it clearly. It looked like there was something on the inner band and just as I lift it up towards the light Justin says, "Forever" I look at him and he says, "That's what it says on the inner band. Forever."

With my hand covering my mouth I start to cry. "Perfect. It's beautiful. I still can't believe it's mine."

"Well it's yours but you can't take it off again. I want the world to know that your mine." He puts on his macho face and very deeply says, "You belong to me now."

"You really think so." I jump on top of him, slide the ring back onto my finger "I think this ring means you belong to me!"

"I think I can handle that."

I lean down and kiss him. "Do you think you can handle spending the rest of your life with me?"

He was pretending like I was forcing him to do something. "You have twisted my arm... oh oh oh... Every day I promise." He kisses my chin then my neck...

"I love you." Seriously how lucky did I get in this department? He is more than I ever deserved.

            Room service brought us our breakfast. It was going to be a long day of phone calls. We had to tell everyone that would be offended if they saw pictures of me with this ring on and they didn't know already. I knew the first phone had to go to my mother then my second would be to Kia. Justin's face lights up. "So, when do you want to get married?"

I throw up my arms, "I'm the girl. Shouldn't I be asking those questions?"

"I want to marry you... I want to marry you now if I could. I just think the sooner the better..."

"Did you find out I was pregnant or something?"

The smile that creeps across his face is ridiculous. "You are!?"

"No. Not that I'm aware of. I am just trying to figure out why you want to get married right now."

"You're such a dream crusher."

"I know I am."

He swings my chair around so that I am looking directly at him, "I don't care if we get married tomorrow or next year. I just want you to be my wife."

"Right answer, Mr. Timberlake."

 I sit at the table just looking at the ring. I was actually engaged. "I want a summer wedding. I would love for us to get married right here in Cancun on the beach just because this is our spot but I know that can't happen so let's do a L.A. wedding."

"We can make anything happen. Do you want a big or small wedding?"

"I want everyone there. But I am also would love an intimate ceremony." I think it would be hard to marry someone like Justin and have a small wedding.

"No childhood fantasy of your wedding? I know all girls have those growing up."

"I have always said if I got married, it would be a big deal. I would want to shout it from the rooftops."

"Big wedding it is. We both have a lot of family and friends. I think that is best."

"I honestly never thought we would get married. I wanted to spend forever with you, I just thought you were the type to never get married. At least that's what I have always gotten from interviews you have done."

"First off, you should know firsthand now that you can't believe everything you read. Even if it is an interview you gave them. Secondly I never wanted to get married to simply get married. I knew that once I finally met that one person, I would do it. And I did."

"Gosh I love you. Oh, we are hiring a wedding planner. I am not dealing with all of the stuff that goes into a wedding."

"That's fine. I don't care how much we spend on the wedding. I will only do it once and it needs to be extravagant."

"Yea, everything has to live up to this ring... damn"

"I have been working on that ring for nearly six months. It started as an idea then I met the artist in Chicago and he made sure it was something that could be done and he made it for me."

"That's what all the secret outings with Steven were about." my jaw drops, "Steven knew this whole time?"

"He isn't just your friend you know. He knows how to keep his mouth shut."

"Does Kia know?"

"I don't believe so."

"Oh you are so in trouble... she is going to kick your ass!"

"Why?"

"She said you had to have her permission to ask me to marry you."

"Oh well... oops. I can handle her."

"I don't know about that... but at least I have someone to call and tell other than my mother."

"We have to tell everyone. Steve and Trace are the only ones that knew."

"Your mother doesn't know?"

"She knew that I was thinking about asking you but she didn't know that I had actually bought the ring and planned this whole thing."

"Wow, I am shocked. You tell your mother everything."

"Not everything."

He grabs me and pulls me back on top of him.

****

            Calling my mother and telling her that I was officially getting married was a moment that I wish was videotaped. I want to remember that moment forever. Having my mother not only approve of the guy I am choosing to marry but is ecstatic about him is overwhelming. I thought it would be hard to find that guy but I am glad that I didn't have to look that hard. I just had to sit in my seat.

            Kia on the other hand was a complete mess. Not because she had problems with Justin, just the simple fact that I was actually going to get married. "I'm engaged. I trust this man, I believe in this man, I love this man. How the hell did that happen?"

"You followed your heart."

            I couldn't have hung up the phone from her more than ten minutes and she called me back. "You are so lucky you called me when you did."

"Why, what's up?"

"I got online to check my email and there was an email from someone saying, ‘So I hear Justin proposed, can you confirm or deny those rumors?'"

"That's just chatter."

"Did he have candles in the sand that said, ‘I love you Melissa Roberts' last night?"

I was confused, how did she know? "Yes, how do you know? I was just going to send you pictures."

"Don't worry about it. I am looking at them right now."

"You're kidding me right?"

"There are pictures of the candles and the roses all over the sand."

            So the idea of even attempting to have a wedding in Cancun was never going to work. As much as I had always said growing up that I would shout it from the rooftops about getting married, I don't want the entire world to know every detail about my wedding. You are supposed to be surprised at a wedding by the way it looks, the dresses, the flowers, the tables, and of course the brides dress. I wasn't going to get that option. And I have a feeling that even JC had more privacy at his wedding that Justin and I will.

            We opted to kind of stay in a lot after we got engaged. I didn't want to take the ring off or hide it and we wanted to have a tiny level of normalcy that we had before we walked off that plane at LAX and had everyone see that ring. Funny how one simple little ring changes your life so dramatically.

I was sitting at the beautiful white grand piano. This one was gorgeous, but not as gorgeous as the one Justin had at home. Justin went to pick up dinner, so I was sitting there thinking about everything that happened last night. Our short weekend getaway turned into this major event in our lives. All the lyrics that I kept writing down weren't really about me or anything that I had gone through personally. It was almost as if I had tapped into Justin's thoughts and was writing something from his perspective. Scary, I know right? Who would want to be inside that mans brain?

            "I've got a picture of you in my heart... And a vision of you in my arms... And I just can't deny what's going on in my soul and I... I can't let u walk away... Till you hear what I got to say... I love u more, more... More than the air I breathe..."

            Justin is now standing next to the piano, listening. This is something he hasn't heard before.

"Take me back to the start... When you captured my heart... You became my closest friend... Said you'll be there till the end... And I know that I was wrong... When I told you everything... But there is one thing I kept... In the deepest part of me... I don't know what you're feeling... Cuz I know my ship is sinking... Got me singing my, my, my, my... Please be mine... Please be mine, yeah..."

            I had seriously tapped into his thoughts because this is something I could hear him saying. Or maybe, just maybe his song writing ability was rubbing off on me slightly. He looks at me with those giant baby blues, "Are you writing a song for me?"

"You're going to think I am crazy, but I seriously was just thinking this is something you would sing. This is something I can hear you saying."

"Well I'm not going to touch the crazy comment but... haha yea those lyrics fit perfectly with me. I couldn't let you walk away but I did screw up and believe the cheating rumors. I felt like my ship was sinking when I didn't talk to you at all that week or so."

"I honestly don't know where all that came from, it just kind of spilled out on to paper after I sat down at this piano." I made a funny face at him "I think we should take it home with us?"

"You want this, $30,000 piano? The one I have isn't good enough for you."

"No, I like this one. It has magical powers." I put on the cheesy smile for him but it doesn't seem to be working."

"Well now, let's go back to that crazy comment."

"Hey now."

"Hey now what? You already agreed to marry me. I don't have to swoon over you anymore."

"Oh really, I can call this off just as quickly as I said yes."

He bobs his head and snaps his fingers back and forth, "You wouldn't give this up! Plus you said yes like twenty times, not just once."

***

            "I'm sorry did you say you wanted to get married this August? In the middle of your tour?" The wedding planner looks as if I just gave her the worst task of her life.

"It's actually towards the end of the tour, is that a problem? We want to throw off the press as much as possible."

"I have done a lot of high profile weddings and events. We are good at hiding most of the details. They biggest challenge is the guests. Of course they are planning their lives around you big day, and they don't have to tell someone hey I am going to the Timberlake/Roberts wedding. People put things together."

            I guess I never thought about it that way. I thought if all the details were kept under wraps then things would be fine. I forgot the whole guest's part. We have thought about the guest list, and it seems to be getting bigger and bigger. At some point we have to cut it off because I personally think it is already too big. When you are topping out at 400, there is too many, even if I am marrying Justin Timberlake.

            My phone has been blowing up all morning. We had only been home from Cancun for two weeks. We hadn't told everyone. But they all seemed pretty upset that they didn't get a personal phone call. It's not like we even made an official announcement yet, it was just something that I guess everyone assumed by the ring on my left hand, ring finger that we were engaged.

So when my PR firm calls for the seventh time, I finally answer it. She informs me that there has been an article taken out in my local paper at home, my mother was announcing my engagement and they wanted an official statement from us before they printed it. I immediately hang up the phone with her and call my mother. The phone rings maybe one time and she answers it.

"Hey how's everything going?"

"Well it was fine until about thirty seconds ago when my PR firm calls to inform me that my engagement was being published in the local news paper, in OHIO!" I was a little angry. I was not happy to say the least.

"Melissa, that's what parents do for their children when they get engaged, they announce it."

"Mom, that can't happen. We don't want anyone to officially know yet."

She got quiet. "Are you mad?"

"Well, actually yes I am. This was something we should have talked about first. This isn't easy for us to keep a secret for long. And now when that paper prints in the morning... everyone will know."

"I'm sorry. I just thought. I wanted everyone to know that my daughter had found her other half. I wanted everyone to know that she was getting married... I'm sorry."

"It's ok. Really it is. It's just not how we wanted to do things. We will have to make an official announcement now, that's all. Now the drama really begins."

"I didn't give them any details. I mean I don't even know any details yet so I can't really tell them something I don't know..."

"Thankfully only Justin, myself, and our wedding planner knows that wedding date right now." I was glad we only had those details at this very moment.

"So there is a date set?"

"Yes, mother there is a date set. And as soon as that is set in stone, I will fly home and tell you."

"You can't tell me over the phone, I want to know when my daughter is getting married."

"I want to tell you and everyone in person. I want to come home for a couple days before the tour starts anyways."

"Fine. I guess I will have to live with that."

"Yes you are. After the little stunt you just pulled you should feel lucky that you will even know the date."

"My mouth is shut from here on out. Zip. Nothing."

"Keep it that way. I got to go fix this issue now. I love you."

Only my mother would do something like that. I understood that this is something that you do when you live in a small town. You announce your children's engagements, but it doesn't happen like this when your daughter is marrying the biggest celebrity in the world. I was marrying Justin freaking Timberlake. I can only imagine what the backlash is going to feel like when I step foot back into that town. I was already someone that they liked to talk about and now, now I was the person that had to bring more attention to myself and announce that I was getting married.

I am laughing at my own thoughts when Justin walks into the office. "What is so funny?"

‘Nothing. It's really not funny at all." I can't stop laughing. "My mother, she announced our engagement to the world."

"WHAT?"

"Oh you haven't heard the rest of it. She announced it to the local paper, in Ohio."

"When does it release?"

"Tomorrow. They only print the lifestyles page on Sundays." This isn't how I wanted things handled. "I guess we have to make a statement now."

"She isn't going to be allowed to have the wedding date. Forget that."

"I already told her that."

            Instead of addressing the public about this we just made a statement through the PR firm. This isn't what we wanted to do but it was our only option at this point. So as we proof read and go through a hundred different ways to say it, we simply decide to make a joint short and simple statement.

            "We are thrilled to share that we are happily engaged. Thank you for all of your support and well wishes- it means the world to us. We consider this to be a private matter and it will remain private."

                                                            Justin Timberlake and Melissa Roberts.

I think my life consists of me on a plane more than anything. I never flew anywhere before Vegas and now I fly from coast to coast all the time. I'm in New York today, at the Regis and Kelly show. I'm performing ‘Look at Me' and hopefully I won't cry. I have cried nearly every time I have sung that song since we got engaged. I have turned into this crying fool since Justin and I have gotten together. He is making me into this sap.

The interview came first and this actually always makes me more nervous than actually singing. You never knew what they were going to randomly come up with and ask. This show is live so anything can happen and I could make a fool out of myself very quickly. I take a huge deep breath as they announce me. Breathe. ‘Ladies and gentleman please welcome back to the show, Grammy Award winning artist, Melissa Roberts." My feet are cement I tell you cement stuck to the floor. Oh crap that's me. I walk out onto that soundstage and pretend to be calm and collected. I hug Kelly and Regis, and then I sit down. Breathe stupid, your fine.

Kelly has started with a joke. "Well it's been a while since we saw you. How has life been for you, anything remotely interesting happening in your life?"

I laughed at her, "Not really. It's been pretty boring."

"You are such a bad liar." She reaches out for my left hand; she nods her head as she agrees with what she is looking at. "He did good! That is gorgeous."

"Thanks. Yea, he did really good." The smile that creeps up on my face is ridiculous.

"If you all have been living under a rock you are not aware that Melissa and Justin Timberlake got engaged."

I laugh because it's the only thing that is going on in the world of the tabloids.

"So, how long did it take him to pick that out?" She asked.

"I honestly don't know." I shrug my shoulders. "I know it was a while, but he won't give me any details."

"None?"

"Nope, I think he is scared that I will hurt him for how much he paid for it."

"Well now, little secrets into the Timberlake household..."

            Wow, I think that's the first time someone has referred to our home life. Like I really am going to be this man's wife, I was going to be Mrs. Justin Timberlake. Wowza that's kind of crazy.

Regis switches the topic, "The success that you have had with my album has been outstanding. Did you ever imagine it would have done this well?"

"Of course I wanted it to be out there and everyone to buy it and be successful however I just never thought it would actually happen. People were actually buying the album and the first two singles have, well they have done very well."

"They have both went straight to #1. Right?"

I blush a little, "They both were #1, correct."

Kelly chimes in "You are so modest. You are about to release the 3rd single, which you are going to sing today. I have to say that it is my favorite song on the entire album. I literally cried the first time I heard it because I felt the love that you have for this man you were talking about. It still gives me chills."

I had a shocked looked on my face, "Wow, thanks. That may have been the best compliment I have ever received. When I wrote that song it was a song that was questionable for the album because it was so personal, I didn't think anyone else would relate to it. But when it was finished I said this has to be on there. And the response I have gotten from it has been remarkable."

Regis is laughing at Kelly because she starts singing the lyrics, he interrupts her and asked, "I read that you turned down and arena tour for the summer to do some outside venues. Is that the truth?"

"Kind of, I know what it felt like to attend outdoor concerts during the summer so I'm going to do what I think the fans will want more of in the summer. Then in the fall do arenas."

            I didn't get through that performance without choking up. I couldn't handle it. He wasn't even in the studio but I can still picture saying those words to him every time I sing that song.

            As great as NYC is, I wasn't staying. Today, oh today was going to be interesting, I was flying home, to Ohio because Justin's parents Lynn and Paul are throwing an engagement party for us in Ohio. Who would have known they would want to have it there. Lynn's decision came down to where we could have a little more privacy then L.A. I guess it would help me a lot anyways. I had to inform my mother not to plan anything on a certain week in August. But I was a little worried she couldn't keep the date quiet. Plus I was going to surprise her with a gift that she had no idea about.

I lean my head back on the seat as the plane landed. I immediately felt the knot in my stomach start to tighten. I really didn't want to be here.  Then driving down the very familiar road that leads to the Ohio border line was making my stomach turn even more.

Justin reaches for my hand, "Are you okay? You look like you are going to be sick."

"I feel like I am."

"Do you want me to pull over?"

"No I will be fine, but I would like you to take this exit."

I know I shouldn't have but I have read some of the things that people have said on my engagement page that the local paper puts up for people to comment on. There of course were people that I didn't know and would probably never would meet in my life that said some nice and some not so nice things, but then there were people that I knew that said some very hurtful things.

We pull up to a gated community; it was new because this wasn't here when I lived here. I knew they have begun working on an exclusive project in this area but I didn't know it was homes until I started look for one in this area.

 "This is I. pull up to that gate." A small smile creped on my face, the house was perfect.

"Are you sure?" He hates to pull into someone's driveway that he doesn't know. It's one of his pet peeves.

"Nope, but by the picture it sure looks like it."

My mother and stepfather have lived in the same house for the last decade. They moved into their current house before they got married and never thought they would leave. However now they can't seem to have any kind of privacy, reporters will show up and camp out near the property. This wasn't a career or a choice that they chose. They shouldn't have lost their privacy and have to deal with the consequences of a choice that I made. So I have bought them a new house, with privacy gates and land all around the property. It should keep out anyone that shouldn't be here.

"It's perfect." I say as Justin wraps his arm around my shoulder and kisses my forehead. "They are going to kill me, but they are going to love it."

We stand outside of this enormous house staring at it from the outside. Almost as if this was a house we just bought for us. I was going to bring my parents to this house for the engagement party and during dinner I was going to inform them that we are standing in their new house. I want to make sure there are witnesses all around in case they do try to kill me.

Lynn had arrived in town early this morning to inspect the final decorations for the party and to make sure everything was perfect. I thought this was going to be a small dinner party but the moment I walked through those front doors and saw the tables set up, I knew this was going to be much bigger than I ever thought. I really didn't think there were that many people here in town that still liked me enough to come to this.

Finally I see Lynn in the beautiful kitchen. "Lynn."

"Yes dear, in here."

I walk into the kitchen and she is making us lunch. "You didn't have to make us lunch. We can go get something."

"You will do no such thing." She walks over and hugs me "So how is my son and my daughter-in-law doing today?"

"Honestly?" The knot it still there, but it's getting easier to deal with.

"Of course, honestly."

"I don't want to be here."

"Whatever you think is going to go wrong, don't think about it. If these people have something nasty to say, than it's their own issue, it has nothing to do with you."

"I know." I fade off as I see the backyard through the window. This entire location of the house with the surroundings was absolutely breathtaking.

Lynn is finishing up lunch, "What do you think of this house? Beautiful right? It's the perfect location for the party."

"Actually this house... is my gift to my mother. She just doesn't know it yet."

"You are unbelievable. Is this your first time seeing the house?"

"Yes, I had been working through a realtor for a while now to get this house perfect and ready. She had sent me hundreds of photos but it's different to see it in person. She did an amazing job with it."

"Your mother is going to love it."

"I hope so." I really hope so. "Thank you Lynn."

"For what Hun?"

"Everything you do for us. Thank you for just being you."

She rushes back across the room to hug me, "Thank you for loving my son the way you do. Thank you for being who you are."

I was lucky to not have an evil mother-in-law. She was an amazing person.

We walk outside to find Justin and Paul eyeing the golf course that is just a couple hundred yards away. I know that look in his eye. He was just thinking of an excuse to get over there. I look at them both and say, "Go." A moment later, my feet our off the ground and I am in the air spinning around... then I have those wonderful lips on mine. "But not a whole round. We do have this dinner party tonight." He promises he will be back before any of the quests get here. It would really suck if all these people that now hate me and think that I am this ‘celebrity' now, show up and my soon to be husband is MIA.

We ate lunch then I was off to meet Kia and Stacy. Yes, I said Stacy. She still doesn't have my trust or respect for that matter but I couldn't have an engagement party without her there. She was trying, in Stacy pace but she was trying.  We had many conversations over the years about me getting married. I honestly didn't think it would happen. Mostly because I only dating douche bags, but other than that I was pretty stubborn and I guess maybe I chose the ones that I knew wouldn't work out and I would have an excuse to not let them in fully. I still to this day can't explain why I let Justin in, and how it happened so fast. Maybe it was simply just meant to be. She used to say that she would throw me the biggest bridal shower and an even bigger baby shower. I can't see myself getting married without her there, standing next to me. I want to trust her and I want to ask her to be one of my bridesmaids I just don't think I am ready for that. Only time will tell.

I no sooner than get my rental car into park and Kia is running towards the car. "Can you believe we are back in Ohio? How crazy is that?"

"Oh, trust me I don't want to be here."

"Did you see the house yet?"

I get that cheesy smile on my face, "Yes! It's perfect."

"Is Lynn there?"

Stacy chimes in, "Who's Lynn?"

I couldn't believe that she didn't know who she was. "Justin's mom..."

"Oh, yea I keep forgetting her name."

Kia states, "I'm not surprised she is here already. I bet she is perfecting everything isn't she?

"She flew in very early this morning and has been directing everyone. Perfecting everything, making Rachel run around that house like crazy. Justin gets his OCD from someone..." We all laugh. "Well let's go. I have a ton of dresses for everyone to try on and find what they want to wear tonight. Also Marc should be getting in town any minute now."

"Marc is coming here?"

"Yes, someone has to do our hair."

Stacy is making it very clear that she doesn't know a lot about my life now, "Who is Marc?"

"He is Mel's hairdresser." Kia says it with this you should know tone.

"Sorry, I didn't know."

I present to be a little sympathetic, "It's ok. He is also my friend. He has done my hair for every event, every show, every concert, he is amazing. He was invited to the party but said he doesn't want me to even attempt my own hair and he get the blame for it looking bad."

"Is he single?" Stacy's asks that question as Kia and I both look at each other, confused.

We both at the same time ask, "Why does that matter?"

"Well... I'm going to be single again."

"WHAT?" I am shocked.

"I can't have a long distance relationship.  I'm just not that strong of a person. Talking to him every day and seeing him maybe once a month isn't my idea of a marriage."

"Are you sure this is what you want? I mean you're not even going to try?"

"I know you don't understand but this is something I am doing. I have thought about it for a while and this is the decision. I didn't come to lightly."

"Well, you have to do what makes you happy. I hope this is the right choice for you... Does Mike know yet?"

"Yes, he knows. I don't want to talk about this anymore. This is supposed to be a happy day for you. Everything is fine, I promise."

I guess a part of me knew that would be the decision she would make. She has always been someone that needs a guy to get threw her days. I have known her for nearly a decade and she has only been single, maybe three months the entire time.

As we walk through those doors, I hear them both say, ‘This is a gorgeous location for a party.' Kia knew, but no one else really had an idea that this was my mother's new house. I was so excited. The master bedroom had been converted into a changing station with chairs lined up for hair and makeup. I had brought roughly twenty dresses for everyone to choose from. We were all about the same size so there was a lot to choose from.

Kia is the first to try on dresses. She tried on almost everyone one before she made a decision. It was a gorgeous salmon colored, short, one shoulder dress. Stacy tried on a couple but opted for a dark chocolate brown tank style dress. I decided on a strapless cobalt blue cocktail length dress. I fell in love with the color the moment I put it on.

I look up at the clock five or six times and Kia finally asks, "Why are you watching the clock?"

"Justin."

"Where is he?"

"Golfing with Paul, he said he would be back in time. It's now about forty-five minutes before the party. He was not going to be ready in time."

"He will be here, its fine."

"Could you imagine if he doesn't show? I would be at my engagement party without my fiancé, that's my luck."

Forty-four minutes...

            Forty-two minutes...

            Thirty-Two minutes...

Suddenly a gorgeous man storms into the room, in nothing but a towel, which is hanging very low off his hips. "I'm here, you can stop counting the minutes now...' he is shuffling through some bags that were with my stuff. He looks over to me, "I know you were watching the time and just counting the minutes. You can breathe now... I'm here." He walks over to me and kisses me. "Did you think I wouldn't show up to my own engagement party?" We all just laugh because I just said that.

"What are you looking for?"

"Clothes. I don't think this towel is appropriate. There is going to be strangers here."

"Justin. See that black bag right there." I point over to the rolling rack, "The one that says ‘Justin Timberlake' on it. That's your clothes."

"Gosh, I love you." He kisses me again. "Ten minutes. I will be ready in ten minutes. I just have to get dressed now."

I hated being late for things. We didn't have to drive anywhere but it was still the fact that we were running late. I dipped my head into the bathroom. "How was the round of golf?"

"Great. It was nice to just relax and spend some time with my dad."

"Good. I am glad you had a great time."

"I love you." He bends down to kiss me. "You look gorgeous."

"Oh yea I am sure I do in this nice terry cloth robe, which by the way, I only have a bra and panties on underneath..."

"Exactly the way I like it, quicker access for me."

"I knew you were only marrying me for the sex."

He winks at me, "Sorry. I thought you should know before we go through with all the torture of a wedding."

I slip into the dress I decided on and was finally ready to begin this night. All of us are standing in the room adjusting the dresses, jewelry, and shoes when Justin walks out of the bathroom. I was certain that I was drooling all over this dress and would have to change. "Wow." That's all I could get out. Kia and Stacy were both standing there in awe of him. 

"What?" He asks then turns to look in the mirror "Does this look good?"

"Nothing babe, no you look good." I grab a hold of his hand and spin him around. "Damn..."

"Shut up. I am supposed to be spinning you around so I can get a nice look as your ass in that dress."

 "Oh no, I like this view much better." He pulls me over to him. Our bodies are pressed together, I whisper in his ear. "I can't wait to take that suit off later..." then I lick his ear just to make him want more.

"Ok, it's time for me to go downstairs..." he lets go of me, "Because if not I will be sending them two out of here and you will be changing that dress because it will be too wrinkled from laying on the floor."

"Promises..." I roll my eyes at him.

"Girl... I ... I... I'm going now." He is shaking his head no as he walks out the door.

"Woohoo baby... I like the view back there was well." I have totally reversed the rolls on him and he shakes his ass then walks down the steps.

I can see Lynn still perfecting everything, showing Rachel what to fix... It was time for them to relax and just enjoy the night. There was a reason she hired all these people to work the event. At the top of the stairs I can see the front entrance and it looks like my mother just pulled up. I was excited to see and hear her reaction about the house. I am hoping she falls in love with it.

I walk down that spiral staircase and I now see everything that Lynn has done. The entire entryway leading to the area of the dinner is lined in flowers, thousands of flowers. The scent was amazing. Everything in the room was a light shade of purple and blue. It was beautiful. I see her across the room and I mouth to her, "Thank You." She smiles and walks back into the kitchen. She must think there is something else she needs to finish.

I turn back to the door; Justin steps beside me and grabs my hand. "Let the drama begin."

He looks and me and says, "There will be no drama. I promise."

My mother looks beautiful. She has finally branched out from being a blonde all her life, bottle blonde of course, and she is now a nice shade of light brown. The color looked great on her. The classic black pants suit with the purple tank under it looked very good. I knew there wasn't a way to get her in a dress. I have never seen my step-father in a suit jacket. He looked dapper in it. My older brother looks like he was forced to wear dress pants and button down. He looks like he is in pain from wearing it. My younger brother however looks like he is embracing the swag that comes with dressing nice. Living in a small town they have never really had to dress up, other than weddings and funerals. This was all new to them. I swear sometimes I was adopted.

I get really excited when I see Trace step out of the next car, not because Trace was here, it was because he is at the other side of the vehicle opening the door for Anabelle. She looks stunning in her black cocktail dress and pink heels. So when she walked up to me I say, "It is not even right to look that stunning at someone else's engagement party!" She of course bluffed and said, "There is no way I could look better than you on any day." Awe.

There were people showing up in packs now, everyone from cousins on my side to aunts and uncles on Justin's side. I was inside mingling when my sisters and their mother showed up. They walked straight over to us and said hello. As I was talking to them I see Mya and Tyler walk through the front door. She looks pregnant. How come she didn't call me and tell me. I excuse myself and walk over to them. "Hi!'

"Hello."

"You're pregnant?"

"Yes, four months. I'm sorry I didn't call. I didn't tell anyone until a couple weeks ago. It was a rough first trimester. We had already lost a baby. Then I got the invite last week and I thought there is no better way than in person to tell you."

"You don't have to explain yourself. I'm just excited for you. Congratulations!"

"Thank you."

I show them where they need to go to sit and in walks someone I haven't seen since we randomly met him while in London on tour and he was on business. "Aaron. I have missed you!"

He rushes right past the door and through security. "Gosh it's been too long. I can't believe you are getting married... well I can believe it because well he is the right one, it's just weird."

"I know right. If I can find someone to marry me then you still have a chance!"

"I still love that sarcastic humor."

"I wouldn't be me without it. Now go get a drink, there is a ton of beer and alcohol in there."

"I knew there was a reason I stayed friends with you." He hugs me and shakes Justin's hand and then he says, "Melissa there is someone I would like you to meet." He turns and reaches his hand out to a woman that is standing graciously a couple feet behind him. "This is Nicole. Nicole this is the Melissa and Justin I talk about all the time. Finally you get to put a face to the names."

            She chuckles and says, "Actually I know who they both are, however I didn't know that this is the engagement party we were coming to. It's an honor to be here."

            I look at her and give the best friend evil glare, "Just don't hurt him. I love him too much to have him deal with any kind of pain. He deserves a good woman and that's all I will allow him to have."

            She nods her head, "I will never hurt him. You have my word."

            There is so much going on right now. Security is really tight considering the celebrities that are coming here tonight. I was surprised by who was walking through the door. Timbaland just got here. Behind him were Carrie Underwood-Fisher & Mike Fisher. Then there was JC and Julia. Lance, Chris and Joey. Great the three stooges came without their other halves. This could get interesting. Chris & Deanna Daughtry just walked in. All these people probably never knew this town was even on the map.

            Johanna, Brooke, Mandy and Meredith all show up together. I was grateful for that group of girls that I get the privileged to work with every day. Adam, Juan, Chris, Bob and Mike are right behind them. Johnny, Kevin, and Ron walk in behind them.

            Kevin immediately walks up to us, shakes Justin's hand then hugs me. "I knew the first day I saw you guys together at Madison Square Garden that you were going to make it. I just saw the love in both your eyes. I have known Justin for many... many years and I have never seen him this happy. It's amazing to finally see him happy." That was the first of many comments that were going to make me cry tonight.

            There were so many people in this one room. I wasn't sure who was who anymore. I have met a lot of Justin's family in the past but tonight it was overwhelming to meet everyone again. I was glad I got that manicure in New York the day before we left because everyone wanted to see the ring.

            We walk to the front of the room and sit at the table designated for us. Justin stands at the table to speak first. "Ladies and gentleman... and Trace." He laughs. "I first want to thank everyone for coming here to celebrate such wonder news in our lives. We appreciate everyone for flying here, driving here, or however you got here. I know that we chose to have this party in a town that most of you have never been to before however this is Melissa's hometown and we seemed to have a little more privacy here than we could have ever had at home. So needless to say we are here to celebrate the engagement of Melissa & myself. We are finally getting married! So other than saying thank you to everyone for coming, to both of our families for supporting whatever we have decided to do, I just have a few things to say. First of all I can't stand up here and personally thank each and every one of you, so simply remember that I love all of you with all my heart. Most of you have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. You have all truly been a blessing to me. Even when you think I am not thinking about you, I am.... Steve and Kia..." He looks over at them. "I walked into your lives and took your best friend away from you. I was lucky enough to have found her but I gain two of the best people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. So I not only thank you for allowing me to keep her, I thank you for being my friend and for welcoming me in with open arms." Kia is crying, of course. "I need to thank JC, Joey, Lance, and Chris for putting up with me and all my crap over the years. Trust me they put up with a lot. I wouldn't have a career if it weren't for the four of them... and well Johnny! Now Trace, I love you man. You have been the rock for so long in my life. You have always been and continue to be the best friend someone could ask for. Speaking of friends, almost a year ago I lost a dear friend of mine in car accident." He exhales a deep breath, I grab his hand and he continues. "Sarah was one of those people that I was lucky enough to not only know her, she was one of my dearest friends. I miss her everyday and I know that she would love Melissa as much as I do. Ok maybe not as much but still." He laughs. "To my parents, who no matter what I have done, they never for one moment questioned what I was doing. I have seen a lot of highs and a lot of lows in my life and those two people sitting right there..." He points at them as he mother is crying. "They have loved and supported me through everything. I love you." Ellen and John, you have both welcomed me into your life, and accepting everything that comes along with your daughter being with me. As difficult as it is sometimes in my world, she has made it all worth living again. Thank you for bringing up such a strong woman that loves me as much as she does." He steps back and turns to look at me. "Now that I have rambled enough I have to say some things to the most important person in this room. Melissa, you have made my life complete, cheesiness and all. You complete me. I never thought I would find someone like you and I thank god everyday for you. I don't know how I got so lucky but I sure hit the jackpot. I love you more than words could ever describe. I see myself sitting next to you on our back porch swing at eighty years old and still being just as in love with you as I am right now. I love you." With the tears streaming down both our faces, I kiss him.

            Now it was my turn to speak. "Wow, I should have went first. Now I have to compose myself and attempt to say something." Breathe "I would like to start off by just saying thank to everyone. The last year or so have been challenging to say the least but everyone in this room has stood beside me one way or another to be there for me. You really learn who your friends are when your life changes as much as mine has.  I'm going to start off by thanking the people have spent most of my last year with. From Justin's band, to my band, to dancers, to the crew, being on tour with all of you was the best experience I have ever gone through. Them forcing us to be together pretty much none stop made me learn who all of you really are as individuals. I'm grateful that I get to share this experience with two of my dearest friends and they get to perform every night with me. I love each and every one of you more than you may ever know. Meredith, you really are a life saver. There are some crazy work days when you just make things run so smooth. I love ya girl. Carrie, I should be thanking your husband because if he wouldn't have left you at that table with me in NYC I wouldn't have had the privilege and honor of knowing the real you. I know we spent most of our days on different coasts but every moment we have spent together has made me love you even more. To the guys," I laugh because I see Lance bobbing his head back in forth as if he thought I would forget them "Lance, I see you... to Lance, Joey, Chris, and JC... I have only recently been able to spend some time with all of you but I know what Justin has been talking about... You are all actually crazy!" I laugh again. "But I wouldn't trade anything for the four of you. Without Mya and Tyler's wedding I don't think I would have even met Justin, so thanks for getting married." Everyone chuckles. "Without the disaster of a trip to Las Vegas, I would have never been on that plane to Cancun. Everything happens for a reason... Ok I swear I am almost done. I know I won't get to everyone but there is a couple I have to mention. Rachel... thanks for you being you and being hard on me when I first came into Justin's life. It's nice to know that there are always people trying to protect him, I love you for a lot of things and that's one of them. Lynn and Paul, I have so much to thank you both for... but I can do most of that in private. Tonight wouldn't have happened with you both working very hard on this. I thank you for putting this together, it's absolutely beautiful. Thank you for allowing me to step into your son's life and to have the chance to love him. I couldn't ask for better in laws. I love you both." Now I know the biggest ones are coming, but I have to just plow through them. "Kia & Steve, you both have been the most important people in my life for as long as I can remember. Without the both of you I wouldn't make it through a single day. I have never thought anything less than family of the both of you. I thank you for welcoming Justin into our lives and accepting everything that came with it. Just simply know that I love you more every day." That was pretty easy, now it was on to my family. "My family has always stood behind whatever choices I have made. This one was one of those decisions. I thank each and every one of you for putting up with everything you have to for me to be happy. I need to personally address my mother. My entire life you have giving up things and sacrificed a lot for us to be happy, I love you more than anything in this world. So with that, instead of a long drawn out speech I just have something to give you. You walked into this house tonight and the first words out of your mouth was, this is a beautiful house. Well I am glad to hear that because this, this house, is yours." I jingle the keys in my hand. The look on everyone's face was priceless. Jaws had dropped across the room. My mom was stunned and couldn't speak. "Justin and I purchased this house for you and John. There will be no argument over this. The deed is already in your name. The movers will be here this week to move you into this house. And thankfully I am the only person holding a microphone because I am sure she has some choice words for me right now. This house should give you the privacy you deserve and the space you have always wanted. I love you." Breathe "Justin. Love is a world I never thought would actually become a reality in my life. From the moment I met you, I just knew it was something I couldn't describe. And today, it's still indescribable however I know that I have found my other half. You had me at hello. Marrying you only makes my life complete. I don't care what tomorrow brings, as long as it's with you. I love you... I love you so much" he stands, tears in all and kisses me then whispers ‘I love you'. Whew I was glad that was over.

            Justin takes the microphone, "Ok, enough talking... thank you everyone... but let's eat!"

            Just moments after our speeches, the masses of people are served with the finest lobster, steak, and chicken that money can buy, I had to remember to yell at Lynn considering she was paying for this party, I was ready for some alcohol. I attempted to avoid my mother at all cost because I knew the speech I was going to get from her. I only last about five solid minutes, and then there she was standing next to me. Glaring at me, "Melissa"

"Yes!"

"We cannot accept this house. This is too much money."

"I said there was nothing you could do now. I already wrote the check. The deed is done. Everything is done. I want to do this for you. Please just let me do this one thing for you."

She lowers her head and finally says, "It is a beautiful house."

"It is & it's yours."

"Thank you and congratulations."

"Thanks Mom." I reach over to hug her and she says "I'm happy that you are happy. I love you."

            Justin finds me in the crowd of people. "Come with me, please" He takes my hands and rushes me into the kitchen. He pushes me up against the cold refrigerator and passionately kisses me. This man knew exactly how to kiss me, exactly when it needed to be simple and exactly when it needed to be rough. He hands were trailing along my face and down my neck. He was really turning me on and I knew that we couldn't possibly disappear for a while. I wanted to but we couldn't. All these people were here for us. "I love you. I just wanted to tell you I love you." Awe He melts my heart.

"‘What I'd Give' is a ballad as well? Why does it matter?"

"But it's not like this power ballad, where I have to really project my voice. It will give me moment to breathe from that song to the ballad."

"That's true... I can't believe that the tour starts next week." Bob says as he is shaking his head in disbelief as if he can't believe it's actually happening.

"I can't believe that we are still making changes. I'm gluten for punishment."

"No, just a perfectionist."

"How does being on tour and performing on stage nearly every night feel?" I ask.

"I have never felt anything like it. I'm thankful everyday that you gave me this opportunity and that this is something I get to share with you."

"I'm glad that someone like you would want to do something like this for me."

"How does it feel to be a headliner?" he asks.

"I don't know how to answer that other to say, it's a lot of pressure. If people don't buy tickets then I am screwed."

"Well you already know they have bought ticket. There are a lot of shows that are already sold out."

"So, not true."

"Mel, cut the modesty, you are killing it in this industry. Seriously take the credit."

I turn a shade of pink, "Ok... ok enough about me." I move around on the stage trying to get the best feel for this song.

"So, where is this husband of yours? He said he wanted to work on some things today, but I haven't seen him all day."

I turn and laugh, "He is... he is being Justin today."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He gives me the sideways smile with the raise eyebrow.

"When we got back in L.A. last week we shot the video for ‘My Last Name' and he has a touch of OCD, if you haven't noticed so he is has been in the editing room all day watching all the footage and trying to perfect it to his level of perfection."

"I feel bad for that editor."

"I know me to... He should be here soon. He called about an hour ago and said he was almost done... So I would think another hour."

I hear a voice behind me say, "I'm here."

"How does the video look."

"It's perfect now."

"I knew you could handle it." I throw that cheesy smile out there. "Now please make my tour perfect."

‘That's easy. Take off your pants."

"WHAT?"

"I just wanted to see if you would do it."

"Ugh. Put your serious face on now Justin. If this tour fails, it will not only be my failure... it will be yours as well."

"I know, I know."

"See what happens when you offer to be part of my life, I make you do more work!"

"It's all good. I can handle this job. Music Director of a tour is right up my alley. Now the whole performing one song a night is something we need to work on."

"Do you want to do more than one?"

"No, I don't want to do any."

I was shocked. "Why?"

"I don't know. I just wanted to make this tour about you."

"But you are a part of me and I want that song in our set list."

"And that's the only reason I agreed to it. We do have problem though." He turns and mumbles very quickly. " Mandy got my schedule for the next couple months and it interferes with the tour a little bit."

"What do you mean a little bit?"

"There are two dates that I am scheduled to be in the studio in L.A."

"She knew the tour dates, she should have adjusted them"

"I know. She is working on it with Johnny to fix it."

"Ahhh... I can't think about this...." I couldn't think that two shows were going to be ruined. "Guys let's just go from the top of the set list, just as if it was the actual show."

****

Today was a very important day for me. Today is the day that puts one of the biggest pieces together for the fairytale wedding. The dress. Monique Lhuillier. She has brought nearly thirty gowns for me to try on and see what style I might end up wanting. Then she is going to create a one of a kind gown for me.

"So, what are you looking for in a dress?" Monique sits with her sketchbook in hand.

"Well, I want the fairytale wedding. I don't want a gown that is nothing but poof however I want it to be a gown. I don't think I want strapless, I think it is overdone sometimes. It has to be white. No cream, ivory or any other color. It has to be all white... I love details on a wedding gown, so I would love a lot of detail."

"Is there anything that it must have?"

"Actually, I'm not sure if you have heard Justin's song, ‘My Last Name' but we wrote that song somewhat together and I tried so many times for him to change the line, ‘Train full of lace', but he wouldn't change it for anything. He was referring to seeing me walk down the aisle in a dress like this. So I think that was maybe is subtle hint that he really wants that. So the dress has to have lace. Not necessarily covered completely but it must be on there somewhere."

"I think I can do that. What would you think of a one shoulder strap that goes over the right shoulder and down the back behind the left shoulder blade?"

"Hmm. I like that idea. Do you have a sample here?"

"I don't think so, but I can show you pretty quickly what it would look like. But let's try some of these dresses on and see what style looks best on your body."

I walk into that dressing room and a wave of emotion comes over me. I was standing in a wedding dress. I was really doing this. I was really actually getting married. I walk out of the room and she immediately says, "No." I took that as a hint that it looked really bad. The next ten dresses she did the same thing. I personally thought they all looked beautiful but she says, "Being a beautiful dress is one thing, being the dress is another.' So I was back into the room to try on another.

Kia is with me of course, she has loved each dress but she also was like, ‘eh' to most of them. I had been eyeing this particular dress that I'm putting on since I saw all of them hanging on the rack. It was a one shoulder style dress, drop waist, very cathedral type of dress. I put it on and I yelled to Kia... "This is it."

"What?"

"This is exactly what I'm wanting."

"I don't trust you, get out here and let me see."

I walk out of that room and her face goes from smiling to crying then saying, "That is it."

Every other time I have walked out of this room and into the bigger room Monique has simply looked up and said no, this time however she looks up and back down at her sketchbook, then back up at me. "That's it. The drop waist looks amazing on you."

I stand looking at that floor length mirror for nearly and ten minutes. This was the exactly style I was looking for. This was it. She comes over to me and hands me the sketch she was working on. The entire time I had been trying on dresses she had come up with my perfect dress. She has imagined me in a drop waist gown from the beginning. A bodice that is covered in crystals and lace, a skirt that is so romantic and the train matched the entire gown. I begin to sob. "That's it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. That's nearly exact to the picture I have had in my head."

"Well, then I guess I have a lot of work to do. Are we doing the bridesmaid dresses as well?"

"Actually yes. Along with the mother of the bride and mother of the groom's dresses as well."

"What color are we looking at?"

"We are trying to stay with a lavender color purple and a soft blue. Those two should work very well together with white and black."

"I like the colors. Are we thinking of doing the dresses alternative colors?"

"No, everyone is the same color. All the same style of dress, but different tops is fine. I am open with that as long as they are all the same color and work well together."

"Well I want to work on some sketches for the bridesmaid dresses, but I will need all of them to meet with me for the measurements and everything as soon as possible. Is there anything else we need to go over?"

"Just one thing. I know you are amazing, however this is a wedding that is sought after for pictures and information so if you could only use people that you fully trust with all of this I would really appreciate it."

"I understand completely. Everything will be under wraps, I promise."

I guess the hard part wasn't over. I now had to determine who was going to be those bridesmaids...

***

"Meredith could you please make sure that the purple tote is on the bus. It has all my personal stuff on it."

I was determined to get everything finished and packed today. We were leaving for the tour in three days. I would rather relax for the next couple days than have to worry about getting everything ready at the last minute.

When Meredith returned she had a worried look on her face.

I look at her and drop my head. "What's wrong?"

"You need to go find Justin."

"Why? Where is he?"

She says nothing to me just turns and walks out of the room. What was going on?

I walk in a very fast pace down the hallway, looking in almost every room, and then going down the stairs. I didn't see him anywhere. I yell, "Justin, where are you?" I hear him faintly say, "In the kitchen."

When I walked in the kitchen I saw his entire demeanor had changed from earlier. He was quiet. I hated quiet Justin. "Mel."

"Justin, don't speak to me in that tone. I can't handle that tone. Tell me what's going on."

"Your mother just called. John just had a heart attack."

Wow, that was a shot right to the heart. "Is he... okay?"

"They are not sure right now. They don't know how much damage there is to his heart." The tears in his eyes are killing me right now. I couldn't say anything to him. "I just booked us on a flight, we leave in an hour." I still couldn't say anything. He holds on to me with those comfortable arms as I start to sob.

The one male figure I have ever had in my life has been John. He was there for things that any father would be grateful to see. He had really treated me as his daughter. It took nearly seventeen years for my mother to find him but for the first time I had a guy that was worthy of being called a father figure to me.

I don't think I said more than two words the entire trip to the airport. I couldn't think of anything except the negativity of what I might see when get when I get to that hospital. Justin is very supportive and just held my hand or let me lay on his shoulder. I knew deep down that there was something else wrong, something that someone wasn't telling me. It felt like the world as I had known it was going to be different from this moment on.

We take the private entrance into the airport and get walk into the first class area. There weren't too many people in there, maybe four others. We sit in the take a seat in the middle of the sections and I collapse into my chair. Justin sits next to me, rubbing my hands saying everything is going to be fine, not to worry. But honestly in this situation you have to worry until you have nothing else to worry about.

I look up at him and say, "I can't believe this is happening. He has to be here with my mom... He has to be here for my wedding... that is so selfish of me."

"Everything is going to be fine... I promise everything will be fine." He knew this wasn't something he could promise me, but he knew it would make me feel better.

We arrive in Pittsburgh to not only rain, but paparazzi. They have caught wind that John had been rushed to the hospital. I'm used to the random things that they shout out but one comment made me livid. "Are you calling off the wedding if your father dies?"

My eyes were huge, my face was bright red. I turned around and looked at that paparazzi and shoved his camera out of my face, smashing it to the ground. "Who the fuck do you think you are? Seriously, do you think that is an appropriate thing to say to someone, anyone?"

He snaps back, "You broke my fucking camera, you whore."

Justin is now on the other side of me and literally jumps into that guys face and hits him once before I pull his back. "Justin he isn't worth it. He is a piece of shit." I'm nearly dragging him when I turn to that guy and say, "However have a little respect for others. Job or not, I don't know how you sleep at night."

The actions that we took were not the best on either part. Emotions were flying high and he said some things that he shouldn't have. We hurry into the hospital and make our way up to the third floor. I was shaking I was so pissed. The shaking continues when I step off that elevator and I see my mom in a daze, she was lost.

"Mom." She snaps out of her daze.

"Mel... Justin. Thank you for coming, I needed you." I start to cry as I wrap my arms around her. My mother has never needed anyone. I don't think I have ever heard those worse come out of her mouth. "The doctors say that he is out of surgery and they will be up to see me shortly to know what's going on."

            Without saying anything, we sat in silence awaiting those blue scrubs to walk through those doors. The moment they did, the pit in my stomach had gotten even deeper. With Justin standing at my side I listen to what they have to say.

"There was extensive blockage to his heart. We did everything we could..."

"There was extensive blockage to his heart. We did everything we could..."

That's what they say to the families when they lost the patient. I lose my balance and hit the floor. "Mel..." Justin screams. He falls to the floor to stop my head from hitting the floor. I had blacked out. "Mel..." he screams again. I open my eyes and find all the doctors surrounding.

"I'm okay. I'm okay." I reach for my mother who really needs the comforting right now.

The doctor continues, "We did everything we can do for now. When he regains consciousness we will know more. This is going to be a long fight for him."

            He was okay. He didn't die on that table. The damn doctor could have chosen his words a little better. A small wind of breathe finally escapes my lungs.

            Hour by hour we sit in the waiting area. Just hoping the nurse will finally tell us he is awake. Kia has called a couple times to check on us. They didn't even know we left, until we were gone. I saw that Justin's mother had called a couple times but I couldn't manage to talk to anyone. It took to my energy. Finally when she calls for the third time I hand the phone to Justin and say, "Please talk to her. I don't want to ignore her but I just can't talk right now."

He takes the phone and steps to the side of the room. I hear his one sided conversation. "We are in Pittsburgh... Her father had a heart attack... We are not sure right now... We are waiting for him to wake up... She is doing ok... Ellen too... I will call you when I know something... I will tell them... Love you."

"I so didn't want your mother to know what was going on." As I reach for his hand. I need some comforting.

"Why?"

"She worries too much about everyone. It's just one more thing for her to stress over."

"That's my mother. That's for sure."

            It had to be close to midnight when I hear my brother say, "Hey Mel, you're on TV."

I look up and he was right, TMZ had some exclusive footage that they were going to show. "Fuck." I knew what it was. He turns up the volume.

"America's newest sweetheart isn't so sweet. She has a potty mouth and a temper that she must have learned from her fiancé. In this video clip you can see their reaction to our cameras being near them in Pittsburgh. They are perfect for each other. I hope they don't treat their wedding guests like this. Reps were contacted for both parties but neither would comment."

"Melissa Sue Roberts... you did that today?"I didn't like my mother's stern voice. She even broke out my whole name.

"Mother, you don't know what they said."

"That's no reason for that behavior."

"If you knew what they were saying, you would have done the same thing."

"Maybe, but now they have that one on tape. You know your position complicates things."

"If I wasn't in my position now, they wouldn't even be following me."

"You chose this. You knew that going into this industry there was the chance that you would have to deal with this stuff."

"I understand and I accept the bad with the good but his comments were out of line. I don't want to argue over this. I will deal with it." And I did, just moments later when the agency called.

***

It had been thirty six hours since his heart attack. We have spent most of that time in the waiting room however the backlash of my little incident has made the press well aware of where we are and you can't stop them from entering a hospital so I had made my way into John's room for some peace and quiet. I was reading emails and doing to leg work for the tour from Pittsburgh. I was going to have my first head lining show in less than twenty four hours. We were supposed to be on the road today headed to St. Paul, MN but I wanted to be here when he woke up. I needed to see with my very own eyes that he was ok.

I hear a movement near his bed and I jerk my head very quickly and rush over to the bedside. "John! Oh my god John you're awake."

He looks at me and I get the worse look I have ever gotten from someone. "Please tell me that you are not standing in front of me."

"What?" I was very confused.

"Melissa you are supposed to be in Minnesota getting ready for your very first show. You shouldn't be here..."

I laugh at him, "I wouldn't be anywhere else."

"You better get your ass on a plane and get there. I will be fine."

It's just like him to not want people to fuss over him. "I'm good right here. I will fly out in the morning."

"You better. How else are you going to pay for that nice big house of mine?"

"This is true. I have to make some money" I smiled really big. He was joking with me; he had to be ok now. "I will be right back. I need to let my mom know you're awake."

"Yea you should do that because I'm sure she is a stressed out freak by now. How long have I been asleep?"

"Hmm close to thirty six hours maybe..."

I was about to deliver better news to my mother than the news that I had actually found a guy to marry me. I had the straightest face on because I didn't want anyone in that waiting room that didn't need to know have any information.

"Guys, come please." They all gave me a confused look but followed me. Once we were out of the view of the paparazzi I said, "He is awake." My mother begins to cry and runs down the hallway. I look at Justin, he takes me into his arms and I whisper ‘I love you.'

4:00 am flights are never my choice if I can avoid it. But I was happy to get out of the hospital, or I guess- John forced me to leave. He was doing well enough for me to think I could even do the show tonight.

Oh my god... I was headlining my own show tonight....

"I'm sorry I called such an early morning rehearsal but I'm stressing a little about this first show. I have an extremely busy day ahead of me, so let's get started from the top."

I hear Justin talking in my inner ear. "Just Breathe. You know what you are doing. Don't over think it. Be yourself." That's easy for him to say.

I know that I could do this. I had done it a thousand times already. It was the pressure of failing or succeeding that was making me so nervous. After the first couple songs I begin to relax. I knew what I was doing. I was excited to add in a couple cover songs and a bonus song that was not on the album, it would be a complete surprise to my fans. My fans. I never thought I would be able to say that with truth behind it. Only the people in this room have heard this track. They all seemed to like it.

"What I'd give... To bring your flowers... What I'd give... To get you alone... What I'd give... To bring a smile upon your face... What I'd give... To take you home..."

                I love the idea of standing in the center of the stage with just an acoustic guitar, a microphone on a stand, and just a simple spot light.

 "What I'd give... To make you coffee... Find out how you like your eggs... Wrapped around you in the morning... Tangled lace of arms and legs..."

                Bring in the electric guitar for the end.... Oh I just love that idea.

"What I'd give... To let you love me... Find everything that brings your joy... Wake up to your face above me... I'd be that girl and you could be that boy... Found out what that feeling is... Oh, what I'd give... What I'd give..."

***

"Are you ready to do this?" The reporter asks me. It was going to be a long afternoon of interviews and promotion for the tour. But it was worth it to get more people out to see the show.

"The show or this interview?" I laugh.

"Both I guess."

"I'm always more nervous about interviews than being on stage. However this is a pretty big show for me tonight. It's a lot of pressure."

"I just saw you rehearsing. I think you're going to do fine."

"Well thanks."

"Let's talk about this brand new song that I just heard in rehearsal? Where is that song from?"

"It's actually a song that will be available to purchase as a single but it was not on the album. It may end up being a bonus track if we re-release the album."

"It was a great song, why didn't it make the cut?"

"I actually wrote and recorded the song after I finished the album. So it never had the option to be on the album"

"Was this from personal experience?"

"Yes and no. I was literally standing in the cash out line at whole foods, standing behind two women that were looking at the tabloids on the shelf and I heard them say, ‘What I'd give to take that man home. I'd bring him coffee or flowers, whatever he wanted. I'd do whatever that brought him joy.' So it sparked up being on the other side of things. What if I wanted this person badly and they didn't even know me."

She laughs, "Someone seriously said that in a grocery store?"

"Yes, they didn't know I was standing behind them. Well... not until they turned around."

"So they saw you, were they embarrassed?"

"I think so, but it was just a random fun comment that they threw out there and well it inspired me, so thank you to them!"

"Well, I am sure you don't want to talk about the incident from Pittsburgh but I have to ask about it. What happened?"

"Everyone has only seen the side of that video where I was angry at him. What you didn't see was comments he made about my step father who was in surgery at the time. I'm not going to get into the comments because this gentleman doesn't deserve anymore of his fifteen minutes than he is already getting."

"How is John?" She seemed to asking from a personal side and not the reporter side of her.

"John is doing well. Everything turned out great!"

"How is the wedding plans coming?"

"They're coming that's for sure."

"So, you have set a date?"

"Yes. We have. It will be a while from now but everything seems to be working out perfectly." Only if she knew that in just a few short months we will be getting married. Sneaky sneaky.

"I still can't believe Justin Timberlake is getting married. I always thought it would be the next George Clooney. I never thought I would see the day come where he is so smitten in love and getting married."

"Neither did I!" I joked with her.

"What do you think changed him to want to get married?"

"I think that is a question for him. But for me, I think when you meet the right person, you just know. I had said many times that I would never get married, but that was because I couldn't find a guy that was worthy of my heart and trust. I found everything I was looking for in someone in him."

‘You never know." She makes a funny tying the album name to our reality.

"Exactly."

"I was watching you from the mixing booth in rehearsals and I was listening to him talk about you and it was apparent to anyone that sees the two of you together that your really are extremely happy. None of the drama that has played out in the press over the last year seems to affect your relationship."

"We are happy. Even with all that drama. We have had some rough moments but we love each other and nothing anyone else has or will do can change that."

"What is the most obscured thing you have heard about yourself that was untrue?"

"Wow..." I sit and think for a minute. "I heard that I told Justin if he didn't propose then I was going to leave him. That was completely untrue. Being married has nothing to do with being happy. I heard that Justin's mother, Lynn was demanding that we have children immediately after the wedding. That is untrue. There are so many stories out there but at the end of the day we are just a couple that is happily in love and enjoying the ride of life."

"Well said."

            The hours before the show seemed to fly by. Before I knew it I was in my dressing room stretching and warming my vocals up. I peek out at the crowd and there were people everywhere. This show was one of the ones sold out. I couldn't believe that I, Melissa Roberts had a sold out a concert.

            This was it, the lights are dark, and the crowd is roaring. The band starts to play.

"St. Paul!!!!  How are we felling tonight!"

"Mom, the shows have been amazing. I have been on huge stages before and in front of huge crowds but it was an amazing feeling just knowing they all came here for me. It's hard to explain. I wish you guys would have been here...."

"We really wish we could have been there to enjoy that moment with you." She says with a little disappointment in her voice.

"How is John doing today?

"John is doing well. Each day is a stepping stone for him. He wishes we would have been to one of the shows."

"He will be at other shows, he needs to get well."

"That's right he needs to be well enough to walk you down the aisle."

"I would love him to walk me down the aisle but it will only happen if he is well enough. I don't want him to think he has to do it."

"Honey, that's all he has been talking about. It meant the world to him, that you actually asked him to do it. He has always thought of you as his own daughter."

"I couldn't see getting married without him by my side."

"How is the wedding coming along?"

"The wedding plans are smooth sailing. The press has found out some small details but I changed them. My wedding planner has actually decided to plan two weddings for us. One that has possibilities of leaking to the press and then our actual wedding."

"So you are having two weddings?"

"No... how can I explain this... If there are fake wedding plans that get leaked to the tabloids they won't figure out the real information. For instance, there is a wedding plan that is filed under the name Harless. That name should pull people to attach to that name. It's a wedding date of next February. So it throws them off enough to give us some time to get it in under the radar."

"What will you do if the press finds out anyways?"

"They won't stop me from having my dream wedding. If the streets are lined with photographers and press well then I guess I will have photos of the day that my photographers didn't get."

"I understand why Justin dislikes the paparazzi so much now."

"Yea, me to. When I first met him the press was crazy, but it's crazier now."

"Well now they are following two celebrities. Of course it's crazier."

"Maybe it's that I actually got him to settle down... who knows!"

Between the wedding and the tour, it has consumed all of my time. Colors swatches, fabric, flowers, centerpieces, silverware, food, cake, bridal parties, bachelor/bachelorette party, rehearsal dinner... there was just so much to do in such little time. Poor Meredith seems to be the middle person. She is constantly going back in forth from NYC to LA to wherever we are in the country. She said she loved to travel. She is getting exactly what she wanted. Kia is with me on tour again. Steve is now running the soundboard with Justin. This was something that we could do together that we loved doing. It was nice to have them on the road with us.

As the day drew closer I finally saw everything come together. All the tiny details that seem mediocre at the time seem to make a huge difference in the end. Meredith is my saint. I swear she makes my life so much easier to navigate. She has handled her duties as my assistant and my friend. Asking her to be a bridesmaid was not something I had to even think about. She will join Kia, Anabelle and Stacy. I also asked Carrie but her schedule was going to interfere with the wedding date. A final fitting for the dresses and tuxedos will take place later today before the rehearsal dinner. My dress had to be altered for the second time. I had been touring and I lost some a couple pounds. I tried to put it back on but it didn't seem to work. I can see Monique hurting me if she has to alter it again tonight before the wedding. I was surprisingly calmer than I thought I was ever going to be the night before my wedding.

Justin has been responsible for the guy's tuxedos. He had great taste and he knew the ideas I wanted to see so I would find out tomorrow what they looked like. Trace will serve as Justin's best man, alongside the groomsman's Steve, JC, and Lance. Chris and Joey were both asked to be in the wedding; however both couldn't guarantee to be at the ceremony due to their schedules. I guess you can't get everything in life.

***

The idea that I had to get these people all in one room tonight and get them to actually listen to me and follow directions was going to be a task.  I was withholding alcohol from all of them until they finished rehearsal. That should keep their butts in line.

"Come on Mrs. Timberlake, we are going to be late."

I topped the stairs and see Justin at the bottom just waiting on me, patiently. He had a small overnight bag with him. I couldn't believe I wouldn't be crawling up next to him tonight. He was going to spend the night in the hotel. Its one tradition we both agreed to keep. I like the idea that I won't see him until I walk down the aisle to him, but I didn't realize the realization of not seeing him for almost twenty four hours. I didn't quite think that one through.

"I'm not Mrs. Timberlake yet."

"Close enough." He laughs, "No get your gorgeous ass down here, we gots to go."

I start to walk down the stairs. He is watching my every move. "Do you like what you see, Mr. Timberlake?" I start moving my hips from side to side.

"Fuck yes I do. Damn . "He shakes his head. "I can't believe that a woman like you is going to put up with me for the rest of my life, makes me a very happy man."

"You should be happy I would put up with your ass for forever."

"Hey now, I have feelings."

Reaching for his groin area and said "Yes, there is a lot of feeling there." Shaking my head yes.

He takes my hand off him, "This is the reason we are running late in the first place. You would be the type of woman that needs sex three or four times a day... I love it, don't get me wrong but it has made us late to our own rehearsal dinner."

"Once I take your last name, things might change." I turn to walk towards the door.

"I should have made you sign a prenuptial agreement and put that clause in there." He smacks my ass, as if it was a good game.

"Too bad your fool ass didn't have a prenuptial drawn up."

"Silly me, it will be fine though. I know how much you like sex. I won't be begging for it." He opens the door and waves for me to walk out the door. "Your carriage awaits you."

I look at the carriage turn to him wrinkling my nose and say, "That's just an Audi? Where is my carriage?"

"Get... in the car..." He scrunches his face trying to look mean as he talks through his teeth, "I will give you a carriage..."

            As we pull up to the location, the security and crew have lined up barriers for the press to stay behind. They seem to always be able to figure things out. Unknowingly this was not the actual location of the wedding. This building looks identical inside as our actual location, but this wasn't the site of the wedding. So just when they think they have figured things out, I throw in the monkey wrench and confuse them. I hope that they believe this is the actual location and camp out here all night and stay here all day tomorrow and as I am marring the man of my dreams they realize that the actual wedding was on the other side of the city.

"Is the big day tomorrow? Justin do you have cold feet yet? I will have you a gateway vehicle if you need one Melissa... How far along are you Melissa? Be glad you are not getting married in a church, it's inappropriate to be pregnant at your own wedding."

Silly people, with their silly comments.

Even the wedding party assumed that this was the location of the wedding. I was pretty good had keeping this secret. My mother on the other hand opens her mouth the moment we get inside.

"I'm glad the wedding is actually in the other one, because this one is kind of small."

"MOTHER!" I turn to her with huge eyes.

Everyone at the same time says, "Other location?"

‘Yes, this is the location for the rehearsal dinner and rehearsal but the wedding will not take place here. You will get the information in the morning. This location is set up the exact same way the location will look, of course with flowers and everything. This is just to give the illusion of what the other venue looks like." My mother was going to give me an ulcer. I understood she was excited and she didn't really understand how this industry works as much as she likes to think she does.

There was someone missing. My head count way off. I look around to see who was missing... "Justin, where is your best man?" Justin snaps his head up looking around.

"Shit, I don't know." He pulls out his phone dials the number and waits... no response. "I will hurt a short man."

A loud bang of the door closing came from the entry way, "I'm here. I'm here." Trace yells.

"You lucky short man."

"I made it. I promise I will be on time tomorrow."

This space was huge, and the actual space was even bigger. I couldn't imagine this many people wanting to see us getting married. It was a weird thing to get used to. Our final count had ended somewhere around four hundredish. I was one of those people that if you don't show up for the wedding, which is the most important part of a wedding, don't show up for the reception.

"Everyone is aware of the schedule for tomorrow, right? Girls, I have it printed out for you so you don't forget. We start pretty early with hair and makeup. There will be a team of hair dressers and make artists there for you. You won't have to bring anything. The dresses will be delivered. Guys, the tuxedos will be delivered around 2:00pm. Justin you will have to be at the location to sign for them. Wedding is at 6:00pm sharp. Everyone and I mean everyone has to be here by no later than 4:00pm for pictures at 4:30pm. They are going to do individual shots and group shots before ceremony, that way after the wedding we won't have as much to do. Everyone who knows me knows I love photos, so be prepared for lots of them." Everyone laughs because they know it's true. "If the press does find out what's going on, please don't tell them anything. Don't say anything to them... I think that's everything. Oh wait no alcohol until we finish this... I think that's incentive enough... Let's get this over with."

They all seemed to pay attention and get things done. I think it was the alcohol, that's what they really wanted. Sitting at the table looking at everyone in the room was a humbling moment. Seeing my mom and John glowing at the idea their daughter was getting married in the morning. Lynn hasn't stopped crying since the moment we got here. She couldn't believe her son was getting married. Kia and Steve is being all lovey dovey. It's refreshing to see how happy they still are together. That's the kind of marriage I want to have with Justin. Trace and Anabelle seem to be back to their old selves again, they seemed happy.

The time had finally come for everyone to part ways. It was a mob scene outside of that door. In the mere couple hours we were here, there was press from all over surrounding the building. Lonnie and Shawn were both there to escort us to our vehicles. Justin followed me to the car. Opening the door for me, I kiss him then whisper in his ear, "If you are going to run you better do it now, don't leave me at the altar." He deepens the kiss...

"I asked you to marry me, if anything I should worry that you will leave me at the alter."

"Well that isn't going to happen. You are stuck with me forever."

"That's fine with me. I love you. Have a great night without me" he drops the bottom lip in a whimper. I just give him a look. I couldn't give into him now. But the thought really crossed my mind. Along with the idea of finding a side room to show him how much I loved him before we left for the night. But I was good, I didn't do it. He walks over to Trace's car and gets inside. They pull away faster because Trace doesn't care if he runs over someone.

I sit in that car for nearly ten minutes trying to be able to pull out of the spot. The cameras were flashing and the questions were none stop. It was almost too much to handle. Finally the police forced them to move and escorted us out of the parking lot.

I was spending the night with the girls. All my bridesmaids and maid of honor were going to relax, have a few drinks, and Marc was going to do some test runs on my hair. I needed a relaxing night. I was getting married tomorrow. I was freaking getting married tomorrow.

Happiness. Everyone seems to have a different perspective on happiness. Sometimes the smallest things in life bring you the most happiness. But sometimes, oh sometimes the big gesture is true happiness.

Happiness in its rarest form was taking place on a warm August day in Los Angeles. A studio location transformed into a seating area for four hundred and twenty two guests. All dressed in tuxedos and formal gowns sitting in those black chairs that took a month to decide on.

Delicate purple, blue, and white lilacs are scattered throughout as you enter the enormous seating area that is cover with beauty and elegance. Each black chair had the elegant neatly hand tied bow wrapped around them with a program on each individual chair. The Skylight in the roof was going to shine through the sunset as we say our vows. The wedding planner had taken my thoughts and ideas and had made them reality. The space has been created into the most beautiful wedding scene I had ever seen in my life.

I had my hair up in curlers and my makeup not done but I stood in that room and just spun around like I was five years old. It was breathtakingly beautiful. Everything was perfect.

 Marc was a genius and had done an amazing job on everyone's hair. He had done the most romantic and elegant swept back bun to my hair, it fit perfect under my veil.

The girls start to put on their dresses and I can't help but get emotional. All strapless with different cuts, an a-line skirt, soft purple that has a light blue almost purple colored sash that ties around the waist and falls in the back. The dresses look amazing on each one of them.

The guys are dressed in all black. Black suit, vest and tie, with a white shirt. They were classic, yet had a little piece of who Justin was in them.

My niece, Morgan was serving as the flower girl. Of all my nieces she was the only one that wanted to do it. She has her mini-wedding dress on, as she called it. It was the classic princess gown with the same color sash the bridesmaids had. I was the last one to put on my dress.

I slip on my shoes and stand as everyone in the room helps me get the dress on. As the side is fully zip there is a gasp from my mother and Lynn. "It's beautiful." They start to cry as I feel the water filling up my eyes. A full length drop waist gown covered in lace and diamonds. The one shoulder was a bit of sassiness that made it so me. This was it, I was going to get married.

The photos have been taken, the guests have arrived, and the stage is set. The room I'm standing in is full of friends that are willing to stand next to me as I begin a new life. As I become someone's wife.

"Are you ready to do this?" My beautiful best friend asks me.

"Yes." I had a smile from ear to ear. "Kia..."

"Mel..."

"I'm going to be Mrs. Timberlake!!" We start jumping up and down, screaming. "Ahhh!"

Kia stops jumping. "We have to stop jumping. We will mess our hair up."

"March might hurt us both if he has to redo it." I stood there staring off into space. "Oh my god. I'm going to be Mrs. Justin Timberlake..."

There was a knock at the door. I look up at the clock, it wasn't time yet. Eight Minutes. In walks Steven, who is in tears the moment he sees me. "Mel, you look stunning." He wipes his tears, "My little sugar is getting married today." He comes over to hug me. "I had all intentions on coming in here and giving a little speech, but I can't seem to find the words right now."

"How is Justin holding up? He didn't leave me here right?" I smile and try not to cry along with him.

"That man has been ready to marry you since the day he met you."

"Do you remember that day on the plane? Kia thought it was a crazy guy that was going to kidnap me."

"He did kidnap you. But luckily he has shared you with us." He takes a deep breath, "This is for you."

I look confused, "What is this for?"

"This is from Justin, the traditional gift from the groom to the bride right before they walk down the aisle."

"I'm not going to cry." I open the box to find a hand written card inside. I cup my hand over my mouth and the tears start to fall.

Two roads came together and merged into one.

No one in that room knew what that meant except me. I had to explain it to them. Underneath that note was a piece of jewelry with another note.

Today, you take my last name.

            Inside was a charm that had three diamond cursive letters, MST, my first item with my new initials on it. My ‘something new'. I pin the charm inside the dress, right next to two others that lay next to my heart. A star that belonged to Megan and the heart pendant Justin got for me so long ago.

"Kia do you have the ring?"

"I have the ring Mel, let's get you married."

            I was really doing this. I had finally found my happily ever after. The thought of that makes my life complete.

            One by one, my best friends disappear. The time had come. The doors have opened.

I stand there in my white dress full of lace, my hair swept back, and the tears in my eyes. The room is full of friends and family. My mother and Lynn crying maks me want to cry even more. Kia looks beautiful in her gown, but she is a crying mess which is typical for her. There stands Steven, all dapper in his tuxedo with tears in his eyes. Then I look to the end of the alter and see Justin standing there, looking more handsome than I have ever seen him before, waiting for me, with tears rolling down his face. Seeing him cry, was all it took.

John places Justin's hand into mine and nods his head at Justin. "Take care of my little girl." John saying I was his little girl meant so much to me, but of course it didn't help with the crying.

 I'm about to take his last name.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today..."

I never saw anyone else in those moments. It was just him and I standing there saying the most wonderful things to one another. Any kind of nerves went away once I was staring directly into his eyes.

"I Melissa, take you Justin. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, to love, and to cherish til' death do us part..."

"I Justin, take you Melissa. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, to love, and to cherish til' death do us part..."

The efficient smiles at the both of us "I now pronounce you... husband and wife. Justin, you may kiss your bride."

"Finally." Justin says as he takes his hands and wraps them around my neck, cupping my chin into the palm of his hands. His lips ever so gently pressing against mine then he really kisses me, pressing his tongue past my lips. "I love you." is all I could say back.

"Ladies and gentleman, Mr. & Mrs. Justin Timberlake."

The walk back down the aisle was a different feeling. I was a married woman, to the most amazing man in the world.

Inside the reception area we are about to have our first dance as a married couple. Justin leans in and says, "I made an adjustment to the song!"

I look up at him with the death glare. There was one thing I was pretty stern about and it was the song for the first dance. It was the one song that I have always wanted to play at my wedding. There were many versions of this song, but there was one I was quite fond of.

The music starts to play. He takes my hand and places one around his waist and the other in his hand. Out walks Carrie Underwood, she had actually made it. She didn't say a word just starting singing the song I had picked out.

"It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart... without saying a word you could light up the dark... try as I may I could never explain... what I hear when you don't say a thing..."

The only thing he changed about this song was that Carrie was singing instead of Allison Krauss. I have to admit I loved her voice on that song.

"That smile on your face lets me know that you need me... There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me... The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall... You say it best... When you say nothing at all..."

My mother had requested to dance with Justin, but only to one song. "Mama's Song." She has happy with the one I found. He was good.

I toss the bouquet over my head and into the crowd of single ladies. I turn to see who caught the bouquet.... I smile really big at her. I am glad that she caught it. I walk over to her, "Looks like your next! Trace better step up!"

I, Melissa Roberts the stubborn girl from Ohio, had achieved more than I had ever imagined for my life. I had been successful in a career that made me happy. I had let someone in that turned out to be the love of my life. I managed to keep the ones that mattered close to me. Live was good.

Happiness.

"Word on the street is that People's Sexist Man Alive, Justin Timberlake, is officially off the market. He actually tied the knot. I guess it only took the right woman to settle him down..."

The End.