Broke into the old apartment
This is where we used to live
Broken glass, broke and hungry
Broken hearts and broken bones
This is where we used to live    

I glance around quickly, making sure no one is staring at this particular fire escape at this exact moment. I wrap my jacket around my fist and in one swift motion, shove my fist through the window, wincing at the sound of shattered glass hitting the floor.     

I crawl through the window carefully and land on the hardwood floor with a soft thud.     

I take a quick look around and every detail of the three years I lived here floods my memory. We had a life here.     

I can still remember the time I fell off the ladder while changing a light bulb and broke my arm. The countless times she burned her fingers on the stove. The fighting, the making up.     

This was our place.    

It wasn't much, even when I moved out. When you get right down to it, the place is a shit hole. But, for two college kids working part time, it was the best we could do, and somehow, we made it home.     

We went through a lot here. Struggling to pay bills, barely having enough money to feed ourselves. But, even when our financial situation was at it's worst, we were happy just to be together. We had each other, we didn't need much else.

Why did you paint the walls?
Why did you clean the floor?
Why did you plaster over the hole I punched in the door?
This is where we used to live

Why did you keep the mousetrap?
Why did you keep the dish rack?
These things used to be mine
I guess they still are, I want them back    

Upon further inspection, I can see that the walls are a much brighter, cleaner shade of white. The floor that was constantly covered in a layer of dirt, no matter how much Katie scrubbed, looks like it's been re-finished.     

My eyes travel to the front door and I can't help but smile. It's not something I'm proud of, but when I think back on it, I can't help but laugh. It's funny how when you're a little older and wiser, you can appreciate the humor in almost anything.     

"You're drunk." She mutters and rolls her eyes.    

"Excellent deduction Watson." I laugh and sling an arm around her shoulders. "The boys wanted to take me out."    

"Right. And I'm sure the boys paid your bar tab too." She snorts. "How much?"    

"Small details, my dear, small details. Now... sleep."

"Damnit Justin... how much?"    

"I don't know... a hundred and fifty or so? What's the big deal?"        

"Jesus Christ Justin! That's half our fucking rent! How can you be so irresponsible? How many times do I have to tell you, the bills come first. Keeping a roof over our heads is more important than you having a good time!"    

"Don't talk to me like I'm a fucking five year old!" I roar at her and slam my fist into the door for emphasis. "I'm tired of living like this. I'm tired of being stuck here all the god damn time because we can't afford to go out!"    

"Well, you better get used to it. Like it or not, we're stuck here." She mutters and casts a disgusted look at the large dent in the door.     

My fingers graze over the now patched up hole and I can't ignore the regret that washes over me.     

We broke up two weeks later.    

I knew we didn't have a choice, but I hated living like that. I couldn't stand the idea of barely scraping by. I knew I was meant for better, I just couldn't quite grasp the concept that I wouldn't be able to better us or myself, until I was out of school.    

I'm just sorry I never got the chance to show her how much better we could have had it together.     

I head into the kitchen and roll my eyes at the sight of a mouse trap in the corner, and the dish rack my mom gave us, still placed neatly on the counter.     

She used to swear up and down that she saw mice under every cabinet in the kitchen and damn near begged me to go out and buy the traps and set them up around the apartment.     

I tried to convince her she was just fucking crazy. Even after the traps sat out for almost a year without ever catching a single mouse, she still didn't believe me. Her theory was that the mice were too smart to get caught.     

She always managed to see the good in things. Only Katie could think of something as small as a mouse as being intelligent. She refused to degrade anything, even during some of our worst arguments, she'd manage to slip a compliment in there somewhere.     

Without really thinking about it, I pick the mousetrap up and stuff it in my pocket. Hey... technically, it's mine.

Broke into the old apartment
Forty-two stairs from the street

This is where we used to live
Why did they pave the lawn?
Why did they change the locks?
Why did I have to break in, I only came here to talk
This is where we used to live

How is the neighbor downstairs?
How is her temper this year?
I turned up your TV and stomped on the floor just for fun        

I know it's all behind me now, but when I wandered into this part of town tonight, I had this sudden urge to talk to her. Not to rehash the past or anything. I guess I just wanted to check in, see how she's doing.     

Unfortunately, the more time I spend in here, the clearer it is that Katie's gone.     

I probably should have gotten the hint when my key didn't work, or when she didn't answer the door. I've gotta be the only man alive dumb enough to break into an apartment to talk to an ex-girlfriend.     

I finally stop in the doorway to the bedroom and lean against the doorframe, smiling sadly at the bed and television stand, still firmly in place. We spent ninety percent of our time in here. We only had the one TV and our bed was the most comfortable piece of furniture we had.     

Sure, family and friends had donated couches, chairs and tables, but the bed was special. We scrimped and saved for months to afford that mattress. I guess it was only fitting that it didn't go to waste.    

The only bad thing about it was the old battle axe downstairs, her living room was directly under our bedroom. She had to be damn near 100, but she had ears like a fucking bat. I swear, the woman could have heard a pin drop in our room.    

And I never knew why, but she absolutely hated me. When we first moved in, I'd see her in the halls and do the neighborly thing, smile, say hello, whatever. All I ever got from her was a vicious look.    

Any time after eight or so at night, if she thought we were making too much noise, she'd grab a broom and jam the handle into her ceiling. We always tried to be as quiet as humanly possible, but it never seemed to satisfy her.    

One night in particular, she must have been in an extra shitty mood, because she pounded on the ceiling damn near all night.     

"I've fucking had it!" I yell and hop out of bed, quickly pulling on my heaviest pair of shoes. "That old bitch has had this coming for months."    

"Justin... don't." Katie moans and covers her face with her hands. "She'll call the landlord. Just turn the TV off and we'll go to sleep. It's almost two in the morning."    

"Fuck that." I shake my head and grab the remote.     

I turn the television up to full volume, enjoying the way the pounding coming from downstairs seems to increase. I stomp as hard on the floor as I can and laugh when she tries to better me.     

After a good twenty minutes or so, Katie is damn near in tears and finally, the pounding stops.     

"Showed her ass, didn't I?"    

"Oh yeah... congratulations Justin... you beat a 900 year old woman at something." She giggles and shakes her head. "You done now?"    

"Yeah.. guess so. I just hope she isn't dead or anything." I smirk as I pull off my shoes and slide into bed.

I know we don't live here anymore
We bought an old house

She loves me and her body keeps me warm
I'm happy again

But this is where we used to live

Broke into the old apartment
Tore the phone out of the wall
Only memories, fading memories            

I turn away from the bedroom and head back into the living room, groaning as my phone vibrates in my pocket. After seeing the name flashing on the screen, I flip it open as quickly as possible.    

"Hey baby... where are you?"    

"Just umm... visiting an old friend." I shrug even though she's not there to see it. "I'll be home soon."    

"Alright, I'll start dinner then. Jake's waiting for you."    

"Ok. I'll be there in a bit."     

"Love you J."    

"Yeah... love you too Liss." I nod before snapping the phone shut and stuffing it back in my pocket.         

I glance down at my left hand and smile at the sight of the silver band on my finger.     

It's been 15 years since Katie and I ended things and I got the hell out of here, but I still remember all of it like it was just yesterday.         

Maybe it's being in here again, or maybe it's because I'll never completely get over her, but suddenly... I miss her. I miss the life we had. Hell, I even miss this shitty old apartment.    

But, I couldn't ever go back, even if I wanted to. I have a wife and a son who I adore. Melissa and Jake are my future, while Katie is my past.         

Melissa and I have been married for 10 years and Jake came along six years ago. We bought an old farmhouse out in the country and we've got the life I always wanted. We've both got good jobs, make decent money.     

I don't have to live paycheck to paycheck anymore. I don't have to worry about spending too much money when I go out.     

I'm happy. Really happy, actually.    

I always thought I was miserable living the way I did with Katie, but now that I have everything I wanted, I realize, I was just as happy back then.     

It's just... a different sort of happy, I guess.     

I don't know where Katie is now, what she's doing, or if she's married. I just hope she's as happy as I am. God knows she deserves it, probably more than I do.    

I head for the door, but stop and take one last look around. I spot the phone, still hanging on the wall and before I even realize what I'm doing, I pad over to it and pull it out of the wall.     

This phone was the first thing we bought together. Call it a keepsake.    

I reach the door and step out into the hallway, this time without looking back.

Broke into the old apartment
This is where we used to live

   

"The Old Apartment"-Barenaked Ladies