May 2000

Anyone who was sitting on the same flight as Justin Timberlake would want to get his autograph before he could leave. After all, he was part of the most successful group in the world and he was flying on a commercial flight. Yet, there was something in the air around him that told all of the fans to leave him alone and he was grateful for it.

He couldn’t sit still, being on a six hour flight made him antsy. He kept tapping his feet on the floor or tapping his fingers on the arm rest. When he finished his drink he kept drumming his fingers on the cup. He was surprised that he didn’t drive anyone around him crazy.

“J, stop it!” His assistant, Rachael, said as she flung out her hand and held his hand, squeezing his fingers so he’d stop tapping them. Being his cousin she was about the only person who could deal with his habits, especially when he was under pressure. “Everything will be fine.”

“We’re cutting it pretty close, though,” Justin replied, looking at his watch again. “The guys are going to be so mad at me.”

“I’m sure they’ll understand, given the circumstances,” Rachael said as she patted the back of his hand and smiled warmly at him.

“They won’t, especially JC. I fucking left in the middle of the night, not telling them where I was going. Once they found out I was in Orlando JC did that thing that I hate.”

“That thing?” Rachael repeated, eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

“Yeah, ‘that thing’,” Justin repeated with a sigh. “The thing he does when he’s mad. He didn’t yell at me he spoke in a really quiet and calm voice and the only time he does that is when he’s mad at me.” Justin huffed. “He treats me like a kid. I’m nineteen for fuck’s sake! I’m not a little kid anymore.”

“You’re acting like one by the way you’re huffing and crossing your arms,” Rachael said with a smile. “JuJu, they’re your friends. More than your friends, they’re your brothers. This was an emergency, they’ll understand.”

Justin nodded, knowing that his cousin was right. He knew that they wouldn’t understand why he didn’t tell them that he left, though. Especially since their No Strings Attached tour just started. He lucked out by leaving on a night where they would spend the next day driving to their destination. That way he was able to leave the night before, fly to Orlando, spend a few hours there, and fly back to California. When JC found out what Justin did he could practically see the vein in JC’s forehead throbbing. He was sure that he was going to get it once they reached the airport.

“Twenty more minutes of life,” he mumbled to himself, leaning his head back against the seat and letting out a slow breath.

“You’ll be fine.”

“I hope so.”

As soon as the pilot made the announcement of their landing he pulled on his tan bucket hat and sunglasses and slumped in his seat. As soon as the plane touched down he unbuckled his seat belt and gripped the arm rests, ready to jump out of his seat. Rachael gathered up their carry-on and stayed sitting, allowing Justin to rush off the plane.

Rachael followed at a slower pace. She had started to become recognized by the paparazzi, mainly as Justin’s ‘New Flame’. Rachael couldn’t help but laugh at the paparazzi hunting for stories. If they wanted news they wouldn’t be following her. She was only Justin’s assistant and his cousin; there was nothing special about her.

Once she made it out of the gate she looked around to spot where the guys were. It wasn’t hard. Chris was standing up on a chair waving his arms as if trying to flag down the rescue squad. She smiled to herself and walked over to them, immediately getting hugs from them all. She then looked at JC to see that his face showed happiness but his eyes were hard with concern and anger.

“Justin–“JC started.

“Let’s get to the car first. Justin will explain there,” Rachael said as she took JC’s hand and pulled him away from her cousin so he wouldn’t throttle Justin. Justin mouthed ‘thank you’ and Rachael responded with a ‘you owe me’.

Chris walked beside them talking about how he was excited for the show that night but no one was paying attention. Joey and Lance were whispering to each other, trying to find out what was going on. Justin walked in between Joey and Lance, keeping a safe distance from JC. Rachael kept a firm grip on JC’s hand to keep him from turning around. They successfully exited the airport without trouble and got into the limo. Once the doors were shut and the car was moving did JC let Justin have it.

“Are you fucking crazy!?” JC shouted suddenly causing them all to jump at how loud he was. “Leaving in the middle of the night right as the tour stars!? You better have a fucking good explanation, Timberlake!”

“I…I do,” Justin replied, looking anywhere but at JC. “C-can we talk about it…after filming?”

“I’m surprised that you remember we have a video to finish shooting today,” JC muttered, crossing his arms over his chest. “As a precaution Mike is going to be with you all day.”

“What!?” Justin cried out, his hands curling into fists. “You can’t do that!”

“It’s for the best. We can’t have you sneaking off again,” Lance spoke quietly.

“I didn’t sneak out! I had to leave!”

“Without telling us?” Joey demanded. “J, we tell each other everything. We would’ve understood. Why couldn’t you tell us this time?”

Justin stayed silent and bit his lip. JC let out a breath. “Mike will be with you and that’s that. You brought this upon yourself, J. Deal with the consequences.”

“Why are you treating me like a kid?” Justin growled.

“Because you act like one!” JC shot back. “You have to learn to grow up sometime.”

-*-*-

 

“You might’ve been hurt babe…that aint no lie…”

Justin used a towel and wiped sweat off of his forehead, cursing himself for deciding against using a bandana to keep his curls in place. They’ve been at the set for four hours going over the dance sequence again and again. Justin was tired of it; all he wanted to do was go back to the hotel and rest a bit so he was wide awake for the Meet and Greet before the show.

“You have to get through it at least two more times,” Rachael told him, as if appearing out of nowhere. “Then we can go to the hotel and you can sleep.”

“No. I’m going to have to tell them sooner or later and I’d rather it be sooner,” he said as he shook his head. He took a sip from his water bottle and sighed. “Two more times,” he reminded himself.

Justin joined the guys in the large color filled room. Chris and Joey were running around the room like kids in a candy store. Justin couldn’t blame them, the room was really cool. JC and Lance were standing by, waiting to start dancing again. JC kept looking at Justin out of the corner of his eye but didn’t approach him.

“Ok guys, just two more times. If they’re perfect then I can let you go early,” their director called.

 

-*-*-

 

“Hey guys, what’s up?” Justin asked quietly as he backed out of the doorway to let the guys into his hotel room. Chris took the chair by the window while the other boys sat on either of the double beds in the room. Justin was the only one standing. He shoved his hands into his pockets, waiting for one of them to say something. “I can explain,” he mumbled, finally cracking under JC’s stare.

“You better have a damn good reason,” JC immediately replied.

“I do. Well, um…Britney called, and–”

“So you went gallivanting off to Orlando just to see your girlfriend!? Justin! You’ve done some ridiculous things, but this tops the list. Running off to a different state because of a girl!? In the middle of a tour!? What the hell were you thinking? Did you not care about us? How about Lonnie or Mike? They went crazy with worry. They came bursting into each of our bedrooms looking for you and I bet you they didn’t get much sleep either.”

“JC, please!” Justin yelled, interrupting JC’s rant. He let out a shaky breath as he gripped his curly hair.

“You can tell us,” Lance whispered.

Justin sucked in a breath before muttering, “She’s…pregnant.”

He looked up to see that everyone in the room was quiet. Their eyes were wide and their jaws were dropped. Chris was the first one to speak up. “You better be talking about Britney."

“Yeah, ‘cause if you’re talking about a fan that we’re in trouble,” Joey added.

“I am talking about Britney,” Justin groaned, dropping onto the floor, covering his face with his arms. “How could this have happened?”

“Justin, let me tell you the story of the birds and the bees,” Chris said, trying to keep a straight face.

“This isn’t funny, man!” JC snapped. “Didn’t you use protection?”

“No,” Justin replied.

“Well, was she on the pill?”

“I don’t know!” Justin cried out.

JC jumped off the bed and grabbed the front of Justin’s shirt, pulling him up into a sitting position. “You don’t know!?” He repeated. “Justin! Do you realize what this is going to do to your lives!? Do you?”

 

June 2000

 

“Babe, I can’t,” Justin muttered into the phone. He had to speak as quietly as possible. He was supposed to have been asleep an hour ago. Everyone else on the bus was in their bunks sleeping. He was the only one awake but he was struggling. He’s been on the phone with Britney for the past twenty minutes arguing about not being able to go to Ontario. “You know I can’t.”

“I know,” she whispered.

“How’re you doing?” He asked, shifting the pillow that was behind his head to get himself more comfortable.

“I’ve been better,” she replied. “The morning sickness is a drag. I’ve been able to pass it off as being sick to the stomach. Felicia is going to figure it out soon, though.”

“Does anyone know?”

“No.” She paused. “The paparazzi are guessing about my slight gain in weight.” She chuckled a bit. “I don’t get how they can see it. I mean, do those cameras have magnifying glasses on them?”

“Nah, I bet they add the pounds because they want a good story,” Justin replied, chuckling a bit himself. “You’re still very beautiful; they don’t know what they’re talking about.”

“Thanks hon. Have you told Lynn yet?”

“Your Lynn or my Lynn?” Justin asked, stalling for time.

“Justin Randall, you haven’t told your mom yet?”

“No,” he admitted. “I want to be able to see her face when I tell her. Telling her over the phone wouldn’t be fair,” he quickly.

“You will tell her though, right?”

“Yes, I will. Did you tell your mom yet?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

“She started to cry. She’s happy knowing that we’re making a good decision despite the circumstances. She said that she would rather that we had more protection, though.” Britney paused and let out a shaky breath. “Are we doing the right thing?”

Justin felt his heart sink. “What do you mean?”

“About having this baby, I mean. Are we doing the right thing? What about your career? What about mine? Justin, we didn’t think this through at all. My career will be flushed down the drain. I’d have to take care of this baby by myself!”

“Babe, slow down,” Justin spoke up. “You are not going to raise that baby by yourself, ok? We’re going to do it together, even if I have to quit Nsync and they go on without me. I’m not going to let you go through this alone, ok?”

“Ok. I love you.”

“I love you too. I’m going to go; I have to get to sleep. I’ll call you as soon as I wake up, ok?”

“Ok. Sweet dreams.”

 

November 2000

 

Justin let out a breath and hesitated with his fist in the air. He contemplated turning back, driving back to the airport, and taking the first flight back to Orlando. He knew he would get an earful and he didn’t want that. But, he also knew that he needed a slap in the face and a reality check.

Justin let out a breath and knocked on the door, waiting for an answer. A few seconds passed before he started pounding his fist on the door, not letting up until the door swung open. He couldn’t stop the momentum of his fist and he smashed JC’s nose.

“I know I’ve been hard on your but I don’t think that gives you a reason to punch me in the face, especially when you came to see me at my house,” JC grumbled as he rubbed his nose.

“I’m sorry man. I just…I really need…” Justin couldn’t form the words he was looking for. A million thoughts ran though his head at once that he couldn’t even form a sentence. He let his arms drop and he slowly shook his head. “Never mind,” he mumbled, turning around to step off of the porch.

“Get your ass inside, Timberlake,” JC called from the doorway. Justin turned around and studied his friend. JC silently opened the door and backed away from the doorway, giving him space. Justin spun on his heel and stepped into the house. “Do you want anything to drink?” JC asked, leading Justin into the kitchen.

“Nah, I’m fine,” Justin replied, taking a seat at the island.

“No you’re not,” JC replied, opening the refrigerator and pulling out two beers. He pried the lid off of both of them and slid one across the counter to Justin. “You’re not fine or else you wouldn’t be sitting here, despite the fact that we’re finishing up the tour in a couple of days. What’s on your mind?”

“I’m scared,” Justin blurted out, looking up at JC with wide, sad eyes. “I’m…I’m terrified, C. I don’t know if I can do this. I mean…I turn twenty in two months. My…my kid will be here in two months. What’s going to happen to Nsync? What about Britney’s career? My parents are really mad at me right now and they won’t even help me. I…I just wish this never happened.” Justin dissolved into tears, resting his arms on the table and burying his face in his arms.

JC sat there, silently watching Justin crumble. He was waiting for it to happen for a while. Justin was a very ambitious boy. He could take on many projects at once, such as having three different interviews in one day as well as a photo shoot and a show. How Justin did it was beyond JC but Justin was able to do everything without showing how tired he was.

“You want to know your main problem?” JC asked, breaking the silence. Justin lifted his head, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. “You think you’re invincible,” JC continued slowly, watching Justin’s face. “You think you can do everything. You think you can take on anything that comes your way. Well, guess what? You can’t. You can’t just skip through life with too much on your plate. When you do that you feel like the world is going to end if you can’t finish everything you need in one day.” JC sighed. “Justin, why do you want to keep this baby?”

Justin blinked and looked at JC. No one has ever asked him that before, he didn’t even know how to answer. “I…I can’t kill a child like that. I can’t. I can’t go on with my life knowing that I killed my own kid.”

“You’re scared because you care. You’re scared because you know that your life isn’t yours anymore.” JC drained the rest of his beer and placed the empty bottle onto the counter. “I’m impressed, though. You’ve managed to keep your head about the entire situation. You didn’t make a child’s decision. I have faith in you, J. You and Britney, I know you two can make this work.”

“What if something goes wrong, C? What if…the kid doesn’t like me?” Justin whispered.

JC stared at Justin for a couple of seconds before he burst out laughing. “I’m sorry man,” he quickly apologized when he saw the incredulous look on Justin’s face. “It’s just that…you’re worried about the kid not liking you? Justin, with you being you the kid would love you to death. No one can’t like you. You’ll be an awesome dad. It may have happened a lot sooner than I hoped but you will be great.”

Justin smiled. He could practically hear the sound of little feet running through a home in the woods. “C…Britney and I have been thinking about this for a while. We were hoping…that you’d be the godfather to our baby.”

“Me?” He asked in shock. ”Why me? Not that I’m not flattered. But why me?”

“You’ve known us the longest. You’re like a dad to us, which is a good thing. You’ve set us straight. You give great advice. And you’re my best friend, I can’t think of anyone else to do it. Please? Will you be the godfather?”

“Of course I will, J,” JC whispered, a smile forming on his face. “Wow. Thanks so much J, it means a lot.” He stretched his arms over his head. “So is it a boy or a girl?”

“I’m not telling,” Justin replied, sticking out his tongue.

“Come on, man. I have to know.”

“Why?”

“To know what advice I should keep in my mind when they become a teen. Whether or not I should worry about a bunch of boys hitting on her or I should worry about him using protection,” he replied with a pointed stare.

“Now why is it I get lectured for months yet whenever Joey flirts with a chick you don’t say anything?” Justin asked, pouting slightly.

“Because Joey’s Joey. He has enough sense to use protection if he does anything.”

“Man, just one time…”

“That’s all it takes,” JC interrupted him. “Just be glad that I’m not shutting you out and making you go through this alone as a punishment.”

“Thanks Dad.”

 

January 2001

 

Justin groaned when he heard the phone by his bed ring. The tour had ended a few days ago. He had finally gotten home to Memphis where his mother, Paul, and his brothers were waiting for him with open arms. He spent the next few weeks in Louisiana with Britney waiting for the arrival of their child. A few days passed after their due date. Britney became confused and worried that their baby was injured. They went to the doctor and he said that the baby would be coming soon. When a few more days passed Justin went back home to take care of a few things, expecting to go back to Louisiana once he was finished.

“Hmmm…wha?” Justin muttered sleepily once he answered the phone.

“J, man! Glad you finally decided to answer!” Trace’s southern voice filled his ear.

‘Trace? What the hell are you doing calling me at…two in the fucking morning? Hang up so I can fucking sleep!” Justin groaned, rubbing his face.

“I would if your baby weren’t on its way!”

Justin’s eyes shot open as he flicked on the light by his bed. He sat straight up, running a hand over his newly shaved head. “What’re you talking about man?”

“Britney, she’s going into labor! She was driving to Memphis to surprise you. She got into Tennessee when her water broke. She’s at the hospital right now, come on man!”

“Ok, I’m on my way,” Justin said as he threw off the covers. “Make sure she doesn’t have the baby before I get there.”

“I’ll try. Hurry, man.”

Justin hung up the phone and quickly pulled on some clothes. He scribbled a note to Lynn and Paul before grabbing a coat and rushing out the front door to his car. As he drove down the road he had to remind himself of the speed limit so he wouldn’t kill himself. All at once every feeling of fear, apprehension, and confusion hit him at once, causing tears to fall down his cheeks. He didn’t bother to brush them away, driving as fast as he could to get to the one he loved.

Love.

He smiled to himself. He loved Britney. He loved her. He couldn’t see himself with anyone else. He had to pull over twice to get himself under control before he drove himself into a tree by how much he was feeling. By the time he made it to the hospital his heart was hammering against his chest.

“Did I make it? Is she ok?” Justin asked once he reached Trace who was sitting in the waiting room

“Man, she had the baby all ready,” Trace replied. “But she wants you to be the first to see her.”

“Her?” Justin repeated. “I have a daughter?’ Trace nodded. “I have a daughter.”

“Yeah man. Go on in there.” Trace had to shove Justin down the hall and through the doors of Britney’s room.

Britney looked up from the pink bundle that was in her arms and smiled a sleepy smile at Justin. He let out a breath and moved swiftly to her side, kissing her with every fiber of his being. “Are you ok, sweetie? I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it on time.  I had to pull over twice.”

“Speeding?” Britney asked, her voice hoarse.

“No, I was crying,” he admitted, blushing slightly.

“Awww, that’s so cuute,” Britney cooed, kissing his cheek. “Want to meet Willow Spears-Timberlake?” She asked, holding out the pink bundle.

Justin gently held the baby in his arms. He lightly ran his finger across her smooth face. Her eyes opened and Justin gasped. Her eyes were bright and baby blue, just like his eyes. Willow had Justin’s eyes and Britney’s smile. She looked up at her Dad with big blue eyes and smiled as if knowing that the eyes she was looking into were like hers.

Justin couldn’t get a word out of his mouth as he rocked the baby in his arms. Willow reached out a small hand and encircled it around Justin’s finger. Tears sprang to his eyes as everything in the past nine months melted away but happiness and relief. “Hi baby,” he whispered. “Hi. I’m your dad. I know…I’m young but…I’ll be the best dad I can be, ok? Don’t hold any mistake against me, Willow. We’ll learn together.” He placed a kiss on her forehead and handed her back to Britney, wiping his eyes once his hands were free. “I’m such a wuss,” he muttered, noticing Britney smiling at him.

“No, you’re a Dad,” Britney replied. Justin smiled and kissed her again, breaking the kiss only when his phone rang. “That must be the Godfather. Tell him the good news.”

Justin nodded and pulled out his cell phone. He smiled at his two girls as he answered. “Hey C, guess what.”