Chapter One

His hands roamed my intoxicated body as I steadied myself against the wall. His tongue ran across my lips and I nervously allowed him entry tasting the bitterness of alcohol he'd been sipping on all night. His hands finally rested on my hips as he pulled from the kiss, his blue eyes full of lust burning into mine.

"You're drunk."

His voice was low, but I was still able to make out his words over the loud music that boomed around us and shook my head.

"Not that drunk.....buzzed."

He smiled leaning down closer to me, his breath hot as it blew across my face.

"Drunk enough to regret it in the morning?"

My breath caught in my throat and I could feel my legs trembling as I shook my head finding a small amount of air in my lungs to whisper.

"No....no regrets."

He nodded taking hold of my hand and pulled me through the crowd of the club out to his car.

*************

That's how the whole thing got started.

It's been over a year and I don't regret it.......I don't think......no, no regrets. And that is what makes this whole thing so wrong, or at least I believe it should be wrong.

It started out as just sex and nothing more, not that that made it any better, but it did make it easier, for me at least. But over time something had changed. The way he touches me, kisses me, looks at me......it's like now.....we're making love. Like now a small piece of him is mine….a part of me belongs to him. At least that's how it feels to me. But I know he feels it to. He has to. I can feel it in every part of his body when we're together, and that's what's wrong. It's just plain wrong.

Let me explain........My name is Rilyn.....Rilyn Michaels. I grew up in Tennessee with my best friend Morgan. I met her the first day I walked into my kindergarden class and we've been inseparable since. Even when her family moved to a different part of town and she had to go to a different school we still remained close and were together every weekend.

She got her first boyfriend in fourth grade when she started her new school and so began her on again off again relationship with a blue eyed, blond haired little boy named Justin.....Justin Timberlake.

I had met Justin a few times growing up, but there was no friendship between us, just acquaintances. Their relationship ended when Justin went away to do the Mickey Mouse Club, but was on again when he returned home after the show ended. Justin then moved to Florida to be in a group and the relationship held strong till he left for Europe. They always kept in touch and remained close no matter what the situation was.

After Morgan and I graduated from high school we moved to Florida so she could once again rekindle her relationship with Justin. Justin got Morgan a job at Jive, of course, while I took a job at a nursing home where they helped pay for me to go to nursing school.

We got a small townhouse we could afford, but Morgan spent most of her time at Justin's house or on the road with him. Justin and I had gotten to know each other over the past three years and had formed a close relationship. The past year is what had brought us the closest.

Morgan had worked her way from being a simple secretary to having some type of title. What that title was I don't know exactly and to be honest could really care less, but she spends a lot of time traveling now causing her and Justin to be apart even more than usual. I, as best friend, became her fill in, the only one she trusted, with Justin.

Now....Morgan is beautiful. Long blondish brown hair, size two frame, green eyes, and a perfect tan, but I was no ugly duckling. My honey blond hair hung just below my shoulders of my size six tanned frame complementing my blue eyes but I was simply ordinary. Not as breathtaking as Morgan, and thanks to work, school, and being the 'stand in girlfriend' I never had time for a relationship of my own.

I found myself being drug to more banquets, openings, and clubs than I really cared for. But Justin always showed me a good time and was always the perfect gentleman.......well...until that night.

Morgan had an out of town engagement and Justin had an invitation to a club opening. So I, as stand in girlfriend, had to fulfill my duty. I threw on my jeans, sandals, and white sleeveless shirt throwing my hair into a ponytail and applied my makeup. The club was nothing extravagant, just another dance club with loud music and a bar where the celebs would run up a tab drinking over priced liquor, so I once again kept myself simple.

Justin arrived picking me up and we headed off to the club. The music was loud, the liquor pouring, and I entertained myself watching Justin as he sipped on an unfamiliar mixed drink while I had my usual sex on the beach, just one, as always. I'm not a drinker, so I can't handle much liquor and Justin would always smile at me with a shake of his head and continue to party on. we danced a few dances and thanks to the huge crowd and what little liquor coursed through me I was overheated in every sense of the word.

My head was a little woozy as I made my way down the dark hallway to the restroom splashing water on my neck to cool me off and try to regain a little of myself back. The restroom was becoming just as crowded as the rest of the club so I moved back into the hall leaning against the wall closing my eyes enjoying a moment of peace when I felt the heat of a body standing way too close for comfort. I opened my eyes to find Justin standing in front of me, his head tilted to the side staring.

"Ready to go?"

I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head.

"Not unless you are. Want you to have a good time."

He grinned placing his hands on the wall on either side of my head and leaned down, just a bit, getting closer to me.

"Good time huh?"

He moved in closer tracing his lips along my neck and shoulder, his tongue occasionally swiping at my skin was cool to my heated flesh. I closed my eyes sucking in my breath and holding it as I steadied myself against the wall. His hands roamed my intoxicated body and he moved, flicking out his tongue running it across my lips. I nervously allowed him entry tasting the bitterness of alcohol he'd been sipping on all night........

And so the story began. Now here I am a year later, still replaying that moment in my mind over and over and wondering how could something so wrong be so right? @2003July:lancesharmony

Chapter Two

I sat in the family section watching as the guys sat on their stools talking to the audience and exciting a crowd of screaming frenzied teenagers.

I had saved up enough money to pay off my time left of school and a few months rent and I quit my job, letting Morgan talk me into touring with the guys for a few days. One of the stops would be Memphis and I was looking forward to seeing my family. Morgan wasn't going to be joining us until we arrived in Memphis due to business so that left me alone with the guys for two whole days.

I wasn't used to being around the other four guys so my time with them proved quite interesting. Lance and Joey usually rode on a bus together, but Chris had joined them putting me on the bus with JC and Justin and I was as nervouse as a hen in a butcher shop.

JC and I had sat up my first night on the road watching movies and discussing art while Justin laid on the couch pouting waiting for JC to go to bed till he fell asleep himself. That morning we arrived at the hotel and dropped off our bags boarding the bus again to head over to the arena.

The guys spent the morning walking around getting a feel for the place and later that afternoon we had lunch followed by sound check, meet and greet, and then headed back to the quiet room to relax before the show began. I was getting a first hand look at how hectic their schedules were and just watching them exhausted me.

The show that night was great, as usual, and the excitement of the crowd made even me feel all giddy inside. I looked at my watch realising the end of the show was close so I got up from my seat and made my way past the stage to the back, turning to glace behind me as I felt a presence and smiled when I spotted Tiny.

"You don't have to serve and protect me you know."

He laughed falling into step next to me and automatically placed a hand of my back out of habit. 

"Yes ma'am I do. Wouldn't want Justin on my tail."

I walked out the doors to the bus pondering his statement and stopped turning to him as I reached the door of the bus. 

"First off it's not ma'am, just Rilyn."

He smiled and nodding his head as I continued..

"Second.....what makes you think Justin would come after you if you didn't watch me? I'm not family and I'm not his girlfriend."

Tiny pushed on the bus doors stepping back as the driver opened them and placed a hand on my elbow to guide me up the steps.

"Well ma'......Rilyn.....it's my job to watch over the boys and those close to them, and it's also my job.....Ms. Rilyn...to know who those close to them are. I may not be Justin's usual bodyguard....but I do know that you are pretty special to Justin and that's all I need to know."

He waved his hand toward the bus and smiled. "Your chariot awaits ma'am."

I snickered climbing aboard the bus, and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge leaning against the counter waiting for JC and Justin to crash thru the doors at any moment. I took a drink of my water replacing the top and sat it on the counter just as Justin climbed onto the bus. His eyes locked with mine and I had never seen the look in them before that he held in them that very moment. A look of lust....hunger....want...and need were all rolled into one and with one fluid motion he strode up to me wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me from the ground. My arms instantly wrapped around his neck and my legs around his waist as he carried me to the back of the bus crawling onto the over sized couch on his knees and layed me back gently onto the soft cushion.

I loosened my legs and arms from around him and placed my feet on either side of him with my knees raised just slightly and watched him as he pulled his shirt from his sweaty body throwing it to the floor. He reached for the button on his pants and I gasped, watching his every movement.

 I knew it wouldn't take long to get to the hotel and I wondered if JC would walk onto the bus at any moment, but I was afraid to mention any of this, afraid to even take a breath, for that look was still burning in his eyes and it was almost too frightening. Neither one of us had spoken a word and he stood from the couch letting his pants fall to the floor along with his briefs and reached down for the button on my jeans unhooking them and sliding them down my legs with my panties tossing them to the floor. He crawled back on his knees between my legs in a cat like motion and reached for the bottom of my shirt  pushing it up and over my head as I slightly sat up allowing him to do so. My bra quickly followed and he laid back down on top of me, his lips meeting mine as his tongue needed not beg for entry meeting my open mouth. He position himself at my entrance, both of us breaking from the kiss gasping as he slid into me with a quick shove. His movements were slow...painfully slow...and I arched into him encouraging him to go faster as his hand grasped at my hip pushing me back to the couch holding me down.

"Slow baby......let's go slow."

His lips met mine once again in a slow sweet kiss as our bodies held their steady rhythm never losing a beat.

To say I was falling in love with him was an understatement. I had already fallen......hard and my heart and soul ached from that fall. This man did things to me no one else had before, but he could never be mine, and the reminder of that hurt too much.

I felt his body tense as he held his rhythm pushing his torso up bythe palms of his hands moving his sweaty body from mine. My walls tightened around him and I once again arched into him feeling his final thrust as we released together. He lowered his body to mine meeting me in a passionate kiss before resting his head on my shoulder.

The bus had long since arrived at the hotel and a soft knock was heard at the door. He slowly pulled from me standing up to retrieve his clothes putting them back on as I followed his lead. Once we were both dressed he turned giving me one final kiss before opening the door to find Lonnie standing before us with his arms folded across his chest and the tiredness showing in his eyes.

"It's 1:00 in the morning boy. Can we go inside and get some sleep?"

Justin laughed with a nod of his head and ran his hand across his sweaty face. "Yeah, we're ready."

Lonnie headed toward the doors of the bus and Justin reached back grabbing my hand as we followed him thru the bus and let him step off ahead of us. He stepped down carefully looking all around and moved to the side allowing room for us to step off. Justin let go of my hand walking down the steps and into the small crowd of fans that had managed to hang around thru the late hours hoping to get that last glimpse. I reached the bottom step and looked around at the crowd of females waiting for Justin and I turned to Lonnie with a nervouse smile. 

"Go with him. I'm fine."

He nodded and quickly caught up with Justin rescuing him from the clawing hands and shoving him into the hotel lobby to the waiting elevators shoving him inside. Justin turned looking for me as they stepped inside and frantically looked to Lonnie.

"Where did she go?"

Lonnie shrugged and grabbed the door before it could close shut.

"She told me to go ahead, she'd be fine."

He huffed angrily and scanned the lobby waiting to see if she had made it inside.

"You know better than that man. They'll devour her out there."

I stepped into the lobby and ran toward the elevator as I saw them waiting and  Lonnie let go of the door letting them close before the fans could reach us. Justin shocked me by grabbing my arm pulling me to him with a rough jerk. 

"Don't ever do that again. Always stay with Lonnie or one of the other guys when we come across a crowd like that. Anything can happen and you as well as Lonnie know that."

I was too shocked to say anything so I simply nodded following him off the elevator as the doors opened and held me eyes to the floor remaining quiet. When we reached my room I pulled my keycard from my pocket ready to slide it through the lock when Justin's arm circled my waist pulling me down the hall to his door. He let me go turning to Lonnie taking his keycard and running it through the slot quietly cursing when it didn't open. I shifted from foot to foot watching Lonnie from the corner of my eyes as Justin jiggled the handle running the card through again and shoved the door open as it clicked. I grabbed the door holding it open as he stepped inside and I turned to Lonnie avoiding eye contact.

"Sorry about earlier."

His large body shook as he lightly laughed and nodded his head.

"It's ok. Justin just needs to prove he's a tough guy once in a while so we let him."

I smiled finally looking up to his warm face as he gave me a knowing smile back and nodded walking off down the hall. I closed the door turning to find Justin no where in sight. The room was huge and I couldn't understand why the guys would waste so much money on such extravagant rooms that they would spend less than eight hours total in. A couple of days maybe....but eight hours? that was ridiculous. I slowly moved through the room into the bedroom where I could hear the water running in the shower and I leaned against the wall waiting for him to come out. I had no idea why he had brought me with him......I mean I had some idea, but Justin and I had never spent a complete night together. A few hours...yes...but one of us would always get up and leave.

My breath caught in my throat as he stepped out of the bathroom, beads of water runnign down his perfectly defined chest, and a towel hanging low around his waist leaving just enough to the imagination. He moved in the same cat like motion as he did earlier toward me placing his hands on my hips as he reached me and  lowered his head whispering as he nibbled along my ear.

"Stay........stay with me Riles."

Chapter Three

 I woke early the next morning carefully sneaking out of Justin's room to mine getting myself together so we could catch the bus. I had been so confused about the night before.  Never had Justin asked me to stay the night and things between us were becoming so different so much that is scarred me a bit. When I finally made it down to the lobby Joey informed me we would all be on one bus due to the short drive and everyone was going to be going to Justins.

The minute I boarded bus I felt sick, for there was Morgan, who decided to show up early and ride the bus with us to Memphis. I plastered a fake smile across my face and took a deep breath giving her a big hug.

"I've missed you. It's good to see you."

She nodded giving a small pat to my back and stepped  away from me giving me an odd grin. "Missed you too. But I had to see my honey. I couldn't stay away from him any longer. Thank you for watching him for me."

I had never felt so sick before in all my life. She looked at me as tho she knew, but I knew it was nothing more than my conscious, or at least I prayed it was nothing more than my conscious.

I had began to notice that Morgan and I were growing apart. Even though we talked....it wasn't like it used to be where we used to tell each other everything it was now casual conversation. Her job was taking over her life ,but dispite all that, I didn’t want to do anything that would hurt her.  Forcing my nausea away I gave her what I thought would pass as a friendly smile and mumbled a "No problem."  As I  crawled into the booth at the table getting situated for the ride. The next three days were going to be long and I didn’t know if I was going to be able to handle watching Justin and Morgan together. I had spend almost the entire trip trying to call my brother, but he never seemed to answer his phone.

We had arrived in Memphis and I was now stuck  at the Timberlakes watching Justin and Morgan make a fuss over each other like love struck teenagers. I ceased to exist in Justins eyes when she was around but I didn’t expect it any different....after all ....she was the one who was his girlfriend, I was nothing more than the stand in.

Lynn had been great enough to cook a huge dinner for all of us and we all managed to pile around the kitchen table and counters to eat together and laugh and talk and tell plenty of stories.  I had caught Justin watching me from the corner of my eye as I picked up the phone trying once again to call my brother and did my best to avoid looking directly at him.  I had told my stupid brother I was coming……where the hell was he. 

It had begun to snow pretty hard when we arrived in Memphis and by the time we hit the winding roads of Shelby Forest they were covered with ice and the snow was at least three inches and growing. It was a beautiful sight to see, for Memphis very rarely got snow, and when they did it was a few flurries and was melted by the next morning. Lynn had informed me that most of the town had lost power when the snow had first started the night before. It had stopped for a little while, but now was at it again with full force so if I was thinking of calling a cab it was out of the question and she was insisting that I was going to stay with them and it was no problem. 

I had always liked Lynn for she had reminded me so much of my mom and had a great spirit about her.We all pitched in a hand helping to clean up the kitchen as Paul built a fire in the fireplace and each of us found a spot somewhere in the family room to kick back and rest our full bellies.   I lost myself watching the flames dance together around the logs jumping higher with colors of blue and orange tangling together then moving apart as the flames lowered to return to each other again in an instant, jumping higher and becoming warming with their touch.  I couldn’t stop thinking of Justin and how those flames reminded me of how I felt everytime the tips of his fingers even grazed me setting me on fire. 

I didn’t know how I had let myself get so carried away with him……how I had let myself fall for him.  He wasn’t mine to have, but I was consumed with thoughts of him, of us, of the times we were together and I felt as tho my breath was being taken from me with every thought. I was so involved with my thoughts that I had never heard any of the  converstaion around me until a deep voice sharply spoke my name and I shook from my daze taking a deep breath to examine the room around me. 

All eyes were on me, making me extreamly uncomfortable and I cleared my throat repositioning myself in the recliner.

“Sorry I guess I got a little to relaxed, did I miss something?”

Eveyone in the room chuckled and it was Lance who leaned forward placing his elbows on his knees and grinned looking me directly in the eyes.

“You don’t  talk too much do you?  We have been running our mouths nonstop for the whole day and you have barely uddered a word here and there.” 

 His smile was warm and I glanced around seeing all eyes still on me.  I was never one to be this quiet, but also wasn’t extreamly outspoken .  Morgan was always the outspoken one and I was the one to hang back and take up conversation where she would leave off  to move on. Kinda ironic with my relationship with Justin, I had to take up the slack when she wasn’t available.

“Rilyn is just shy, and a home body unlike the rest of us.  She is more interested in her hobbies and reading than she is with getting out and experiencing life.” 

Her words shocked me and stung as they echoed thru my ears and I sat up straighter in my chair clenching my jaw to control my anger and hurt as I spoke. 

 “I read a lot because I am studying for my career, not my hobby.   I am studying to be a nurse and that takes time and concentration to learn all that I need to know.  I want to help people and my studies don’t allow me to spend a lot of time partying.”

“That’s cool.”  Joey spoke up trying to save the moment.  “I think you wanting to help people is a great thing.  I know I wouldn’t be able to do that, I don’t have the patience to study.  Hey…when you get your license then you can tour with us and be our own personal nurse.  Lance is clutsy enough that he is always getting hurt."

Everyone chuckled, everyone except Justin that is,  and I braved it enough and looked toward him meeing him directly in the eye.  I couldn’t breath  and everthing around us seemed to freeze in time as I stared into those beautiful blue eyes. In the distance I could hear conversations going on around us but I couldn’t comprehend anyting as he motioned his head toward the hallway and I stood, my knees wobbling and moved toward the dark hallway making my way down to the bathroom door and stepped inside.

I never bothered to turn on the light or listen to see what excuse he was going to give, but instead leaned against the counter and listed to the pounding of my heart ringing loudly in my ears.  He was suddenly there in the dark and his hands slowly slide up the side of my legs and to my side where his arms circled my waist as he moved his body closer to mine.  His breath was hot against my ear and I felt the heat inside me raging  just having him near me.  I dropped my voice to a whisper to keep anyone from hearing me, but my breath was too ragged to even make a sentence.

“Justin…….”

His lips moved across mine and I parted them feeling his tongue slide along my lips and into my mouth seeking out my tongue. His kiss took what  breath I had away and my arms circled his neck as he lifted me up sitting me on the counter I had been leaning against and stepped between my legs. I finally pulled away needing to breath and took in a deep breath as he nuzzled against my neck.

"Justin........remember the rule.......never... when she's around."

I leaned my head back feeling his lips dance against my neck driving me to the brink of insanity.

"Yo....you made......the rule....remember."

Breathing was not longer an option, no matter how hard I tried. He had total control over my body and he was fully aware of that fact as his hands moved back to my legs grabbing the back of my thighs pulling me against him as he continued to hungrily attacked my neck mumbling against my flesh.

"She won't let me touch her."

I closed my eyes trying to block out his words, I didn't want to know any of their intimate details, the thought of him touching her made me sick, but a small part of me needed to hear what he was saying.

 "I need you so bad Rilyn."

I wrapped my legs around his waist holding on to him tightly as his hand slipped to the button of my jeans, and with movements so quick, unbuttoned them and pulled me free from them dropping them to the floor before I had a chance to conprehend.   I gasped losing all train of thought as his fingers brushed against my folds and without warning slipped quickly inside me.

"Jesus Justin."

I could feel his erection through his tight jeans as he pressed against me and I wanted badly to set him free and feel him inside me. "I don't want anyone else touching  you baby."

Not fully understanding where that had come from I  regained a small fraction of my senses to be able to speak.

"You don't........own me............you...have her."

I couldn't breath with the way he was working me. His long fingers sliding in and out of me like silk brushing my flesh.

"I lov........."

We both froze as someone knocked on the door. It was hard seeing Justin in the dark, but I could still detect the fear in his eyes when he looked up at me and placed a finger to my lips.

"Give me a minute."

I couldn't make out who the voice belonged to as they mumbled "Never mind", but I  heard them walk away as their bare feet scooted across the carpet. I reached down to move his hand as a wave of guilt took over me, but he wouldn't budge and  deep down I knew what he was about to say and I wanted so bad to hear it.

"We're going to get caught." I whispered.

I could make out him shaking his head, but he remained silent for what seemed like forever before he finally spoke a barely audible whisper. "I need..............I want to make love to you baby, please."

And  with those words I gave in.....I had to. I needed, wanted him just as bad.  

It had been a month since I had returned back to Florida and Morgan had been home for three weeks and had informed me, on her arrival, that she was moving out. She had found a house and wanted something of her own where she could grow and do more with her life. I simply nodded, what else was I to do?

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There was no way I could afford the town house on my own and she knew that which leads me to believe she had done it on purpose. Why would such a good friend as she claimed to be leave another friend stranded. But then who was I to criticize a friendship when I was sleeping with her boyfriend. I had the rest of the years rent paid which was only a couple of months left but, thank God, for that would give me enough time to find a good job and find somewhere I could afford to live on my own. Other than that tidbit of information she threw at me we seemed to be getting along fine, not the same as it used to be, but we were talking more. Maybe it was best she moved out anyway.

z88;

I missed Justin, but he would call every night. Morgan, of course, would get her phone call first and just before she'd hang up with all the mushy I love you’s, I’d run to my room climbing into bed waiting for the phone to ring again so that I could have my time with him. We'd talk on the phone for an hour or so and I’d hang up feeling all giddy, curling up with my pillow sleeping peacefully. The mornings however brought the reminder that he didn't belong to me and I would almost reach the point of depression. To say that he had gotten to me was a complete understatement.

Not even a week past and Morgan suddenly found her a great home, bought it, and moved in right away. Yeah, she wanted me to believe that it was sudden, but I knew better. My grades had been slipping in school, but I was finally getting myself together and was not only better in school, but better with the Justin situation. He had been so busy with Morgan and her moving out that he didn’t have time to call me. At first I was devastated, but with my studies he began to slip away from my mind.

I came home from school one day to find Morgan sitting on the couch, a look of distaste on her face as she glanced around the townhouse at my lack of decorating. When she moved everything had suddenly become something she had purchased, so for the sake of argument I agreed and let her drag it out. The house now sat a little bare due to my lack of time and money for fixing things up.

I sat my books down on the coffee table and gave her my best smile offering her a cup of tea.

“No thank you.” She mumbled and I heard her sigh before continuing on. “Rilyn the boys are going out to L.A. for a few days of R and R and I plan on going to spend the weekend with them. I would like it if you would come along with us. All expenses are paid, you just have to have a good time.”

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z88;To say I was floored was an understatement. Maybe she felt bad about leaving me with rent and nothing to sit on, or maybe she decided she was up to something and felt the need to involve me, or maybe, just maybe she decided she was going to be nice for a change. Who know…but I was sticking with the second guess, she was up t no good, however I wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to spend a few days with Justin.

“Are you sure I wouldn’t be in the way?” I asked skeptically.

She sighed irritably, something she had begun doing every time I spoke, and gave me a God you are pathetic look before plastering a smile across her face. “You won’t be in the way. Besides I have a little business meeting set up while I am there and Justin wants to whine too much these days about my work overload and not enough time for him. He doesn’t understand MY career and how I am trying to build it up. What I do is not only a career boost for me, but him as well. God how I love my job and the power of success.”

She grinned a cheshire grin , mostly to herself and slapped a pat on her own back. This was the Moran I knew nothing about. This was the type of person I would never call a friend much less associate with. When she first got her job it was because of Justin and when she began to quickly move to the top it was with a little help from him as well. Now she was someone none of us knew, a greedy, selfish, uncaring bitch and I couldn’t understand why Justin still held onto her.

“……………keep him busy and ……Rilyn…..RILYN…..HELLO..are you listening to me?”

Her snapping fingers in front of my face pulled me from my thoughts and I looked at her questioningly.

“Good Lord….I said you’re going to have to keep Justin busy while were there so I can handle business. Do whatever he enjoys, just keep him busy and away from me.”

She finished her sentence as she made her way to the door not even waiting for me to respond. My answer of course would be hell yes, but I just nodded as I followed along behind her ready to shut her out so I could bask in the excitement of a weekend with Justin.

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CHAPTER FIVE

I spent the rest of the week packing, then unpacking, then repacking aging trying to make sure I would look my very best the whole weekend. We were still in the winter months and the weather anywhere was always unpredictable, so finding the right clothes was hard enough.

Our plane was leaving out Thursday night, so as soon as my class ended I raced home, doing well over the speed limit and spent my time showering, changing, and attempting to look my very best. I left my hair down, letting my natural curls spill down my back and around my shoulders, but quickly changed my mind at the view and pulled out my straightening iron painstakingly straightening every curl of my thick hair. I glanced in the mirror sighing once again at the hopeless image and clipped it in a loose bun, strands of hair dangling around my face, as the door bell rang and Morgan’s voice quickly followed.

“Come on Rilyn we mustn’t be late.”

I dashed thru the house and grabbed my suitcase heading out the door.

z88;

I leaned against the window feeling the cold against my forehead and stared out into the night watching Morgan from the corner of my eye as she passed L.A.X, her phone in hand becoming more irritated as she dialed one number after the other not getting a response. Justin and Lonnie were supposed to be picking us up and she was quite irritated when we reached the designated area only to find no Justin, no Lonnie, or for that matter no one at all. I stood to attention as a beam lit across her face suddenly and I looked around knowing she must have spotted him.

Sometimes when Morgan looked at Justin I could see the old her and how much she used to really love him, but as the look fell from her face and I saw her left jaw clench I knew that old Morgan was long gone. I turned following her gaze and smiled as I spotted Justin coming down the walkway his jeans tight and slightly faded and his black button down clung to him and opened just enough to reveal the chiseled chest that hid beneath it. His blue eyes glowed and his hair was just beginning to grow back revealing a few beginnings of curls. I allowed my eyes t leave him for a brief moment spotting the large black man trailing behind him, eyes trained to every movement that occurred and glanced to his right spotting the reasons for Morgan’s shift in mood. Lynn Harless.

I was always around Lynn more growing up than I was Justin for the fact that Lynn and Morgan’s mom were friends and Morgan’s mom and my mom were best friends so the three of them became buddies. Lynn was always great to me and when my parents were killed by a drunk driver she was right there for me and my brother letting us know if we needed anything to just call on her. Morgan on the other hand had never been a fan of Lynn’s and I believe that had a lot to do with Lynn catching Morgan and Justin in bed together when they were mere teenagers. From that moment on Lynn stayed in there business. But whatever the reasons their love hate relationship blossomed and I love watching Lynn give her hell.

“Justin your late and we have been waiting here for 30 minutes. What was the problem?”

Her jaws were still clenched, smoke was spewing from her ears, and Justin gave her a warm smile trying to hug her and calm her before the fire erupted.

“Fans baby. Don’t know how they knew I was going to be here, but they are all over the place. You look great…….how was the flight….I got a lot planned……”

I knew Justin enough by now to know he was rambling to keep Morgan calm before she would make a big scene. God knows she loved a scene and that was the last thing any of us wanted.

I watched as he grabbed her carry on bag from her shoulder and her suitcase from the floor and motioned with a jerk of his head for us to follow. Lonnie took my suitcase from me, falling into step behind the happy couple and I sighed falling into step with Lynn behind him. Her arm slid around my shoulders and she squeezed me against her with a gentle hug and sighed on her own, eyeing Morgan as she continued to complain.

“So glad to see you come along. Justin needs all the support he can get. I’m surprised Morgan even bothered to show.”

I was completely confused as to what she was talking about, but before I could open my mouth to question her Morgan glared at me over her shoulder and snarled.

“Come on Rilyn you are holding us up.”

Lynn squeezed me tighter to her and with a look from the corner of her eye gave me a reassuring smile as we headed to the car.

z88;

“Damn it Morgan you knew this was a big weekend for me and you were supposed to be here to support me, not blow me off for business.”

The argument had started out small on the way to the house, but escalated as the night wore on. Justin had known the moment he saw me that Morgan had no intentions of spending anytime with him and he blew his own gasket. Turns out the boys tour was almost over and Justin was taking this little vacation to tell the guys he wanted to try something on his own, but he was nervous and called for Morgan and his mom for support. Morgan however was concerned with her own self and had no desire to support him in anyway.

“Get over yourself Justin, just because your not the fucking center of attention every waking moment you whine like some spoiled little brat. It’s not always about you.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle on that comment and quickly tried to regain myself as I looked across from me seeing a smile play at the corners of Lynn’s mouth. She had been standing at the large island in the kitchen putting together a pecan pie since we arrived at the house and I sat silently across from her watching her as Justin and Morgan continued on with their fight. Neither one of us had spoken to the other and were content, straining at times, to listen to the argument.

The house we were staying in was stunning and I had learned from the fight that it was one that Justin way thinking about buying and the relater was allowing him to rent it out for the week so he could test it out. Morgan on the other hand wasn’t thrilled with the house and was totally against him getting it. Oh what a bitch we weave. If Justin shitted her gold bricks she still wouldn’t be satisfied.

“All I am asking is just once, ONCE in your busy little schedule you find the time to be there for ME when I really need you and not pawn me off on your damn friends.”

His words echoed so loud that even Lynn stopped in her tracks and glanced up at me, a look of pitty almost showing on her face, I turned my eyes from her, hurt, and stood from the bar stool quietly moving thru the house and up the stairs to the room I was sharing with Lynn closing the door behind me and letting the tears quietly steam down my face. The last time we were together I was sure Justin was going to tell me he loved me and I longed for the opportunity to hear him say it, but now I felt lower than dirt and if he only thought of me as nothing more than an occasion then maybe it was time for me to cut my loses and move on.

z88;

z88;

Chapter Six

After a very unrested night I quietly got out of bed and got myself together heading downstairs to a quiet place where I could be alone. The guys had been out all night partying, lucky for them for they missed the fight and I had heard them come in not too long before getting up so I knew they wouldn’t be awake for hours. Seeing that it was only 6:30 a.m. I knew Justin and Morgan wouldn’t be up for awhile so I fixed myself a pot of coffee, poured me a nice hot cup and snuggled into the couch with my cell phone and purse.

Two hours later, completely frustrated, I hung up my cell phone and slammed it down to the kitchen table where I’d finally moved to an hour before, and sighed. Never in my life had I had to deal with such incompetent people.

“Guess asking how your morning is, is out of the question huh?”

I almost jumped out of my seat at the sound of the voice and quickly raised my head watching Trace as he sat his bag down on the ground.

“Mind if I have a cup of coffee? You look as though you could use one too.”

With a weak smile and deep breath I stood from my chair taking along my cup and walked over to the counter getting another cup from the cabinet.

“Black or cream and sugar?”

“Little sugar with lots of cream.”

I nodded, pouring both of us a cup and took them to the kitchen table where he sat watching my every move.

“So what brings you here?” I asked, sitting back down in my chair and shoving all my papers back into my purse as I caught him eyeing them. I knew exactly why he was there, but Trace had always made me nervous and I was trying to make conversation. From the moment I met him he had been nothing but nice to me, but as Justin’s best friend I was sure Justin had told him everything and for some odd reason I was afraid of what Trace might think of me.

“My bud needed some support for one. Two I had to discuss a little business with him over our clothing line. You? I thought Morgan was actually showing this time.”

“OH….um…she did.”

I pursed my lips and shrugged my shoulders, I myself didn’t even know anymore why I was there. “Bur here I am. She drug me along.”

He eyed me suspiciously and set his mug down on the table reaching over to thump the airline tickets that stuck out of my purse.

“Plan on leaving so soon”

I shoved them further into the black leather and stood from the table taking my cup to the sink as Justin loudly entered the kitchen. “Dude you made it. ‘Awesome.”

I watched from the corner of my eye as Trace stood from the chair and greeted his friend with a hug and a slap to the back. “Wouldn’t be anywhere else. Rilyn was keeping me company till your lazy ass would wake up.”

It was then that Justin turned his head noticing I was in the room and I couldn’t quite tell what the look in his eyes was, but I quickly looked away, not taking the time to figure it out., and turned to the sink to wash out my cup.

“You got here sooner than planned dude, which is good, we can go out to the golf course today and take in some holes.”

“That’s cool man. I’m just gonna toss my stuff in the other room and take a piss then we can discuss some grub. I’m about to starve.”

I wiped down the counter as I listened to Traces footsteps on the hardwood floor and laid the rag on the sink intending to make an exit, but before I could move I felt his breath on my ear and the heat of his body awful close to me.

“Riles I……”

“Don’t!”

I cut him off with my sharp protest and turned, having little room between him and the counter and looked up into his eyes. “Whatever you are going to say don’t bother . You made it clear that in your eyes I am no more than your part time slut and I don’t want to hear the lies.”

“Baby no……..”

His hands landed on my hips and what little distance between us he managed to close by moving closer and leaned down so his lips were just a breath from mine. “No, I have never thought of you that way. I love………”

“Man where’s……woo…..sorry…..”

Justin quickly moved away from me and I placed my hands on either side of me grabbing the edge of the counter feeling like I could pass out any second. My heart was racing but I wasn’t sure if it was Trace catching us so close or Justin about to say he loved me, either way I couldn’t budge, but none of us had time to even react before a very angry Chris loudly made his way into the kitchen screaming at the top of his lungs.

“YOU MOTHER FUCKER! YOU ARE A LOW DOWN SON OF A BITCH! “

Within seconds Joey was behind Chris and his arms circled the shorter man pulling him back to his chest to keep him from moving any closer to Justin.

“I knew you were up to something when you invited all of us here, but I never dreamed you were so low down that it would be to end of the band. Your sorry ass was nothing until I put this band together and the only reason you are so poplar you little punk is because all of us. We all made it to the top together so go ahead you piece of shit and leave the band and see how far you get on your own, but when you do, don’t cross my door again.”

“I’m not ending the band Chris.”

Justin took a step back putting himself further from Chris and a look of panic was clearly on his face. By now the whole house had gathered into the kitchen watching the whole scene go down. Everyone that was, except for Morgan.

“You have it wrong. I would never….”

“Never my ass!”

Chris yelled doing his best to pull from Joey’s grip. “Your little head began to swell and now you think you’re too good for us. Have it your way bitch cause I’m done.”

With his final word he yanked from Joey’s arms and stormed thru the house I swear slamming every door along the way. The tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife and it took an awkward moment of silence before Justin finally got the nerve to speak.

“I swear guys, it’s not like that. I just thought that while we were on break I’d dabble in something of my own. Y’all are my friends, I would never just walk out on you.”

It was Lance who finally spoke up and the last one I expected to ever be as angry as Chris but it was apparent in his tone when he opened his mouth.

“That’s just great Justin just ruin the group. Would’ve been nicer if you’d just come out and said it instead of beating around the bush and us hearing it from someone else.”

Lance left the room and slowly Joey and JC followed him without uttering a word. I could tell Justin was hurt and I did feel sorry for him, but I was still angry at his words from the night before and I was not about to comfort him so quickly. Besides I’m sure the guys were wrong with their accusations, but I didn’t know for sure what was going on myself.

“Well I don’t think that went as planned.”

Trace did his best to lighten the mood, but it wasn’t working too well. Lynn had made her way over to Justin and had wrapped her arms around him and pulled him so tight to her it looked as though he couldn’t even breath.

“Mom I have no idea how they found out. There is no way. Very few people knew. I don’t understand how.”

And as if on cue in walked the obvious answer.

“Wow….is the gang in a fowl mood or what. Ummm…coffee smells good.”

All eyes were on her as she casually walked to the cabinet, grabbed a cup, and poured the remaining coffee into the cup.

“It’s not hazelnut, but suppose it will do.”

For a moment it looked as tho Justin had grown a brain. For just as casually as she’d made her way into the room, he moved the same motion toward her, folding his arms across his chest and played coy.

“Say, honey, you wouldn’t know by any chance how the guys found out about my album do you? I mean did I let it slip or did you say something, or……”

going to try doing your own album. You know how Chris gets. He blew the whole thing out of proportion. Don’t be mad at me baby. I was only trying to help.”

“Oh…..I’m not mad at you. I was just hopping they would be supportive and not start assuming things.”

I wanted to rip out her eyeballs and toss them to the wolves. It amazed me how well she could play him and he didn’t have one clue. The girl had talent at playing him a fool, that much I’ll give her credit for, and then suddenly I wondered just how much she was playing him for. Guess it really didn’t matter tho. I had made up my mind that morning that Justin and Morgan were no longer my concern and I was sticking to it.

I was so tired and doing all I could to keep my eyes open, but knowing I didn't have too much further to go kept me awake and going for just a little longer.

Two days....no three days...I had actually lost track of time and had no idea how many days it had actually been.  The day the argument broke out with the boys over Justin leaving the band they had managed to make up and allowed Justin to explain everything to them.  I had been right about Morgan.  She had told the boys that Justin no longer needed them and he was moving on with his life and taking the oportunity to break out on his own while they were on top.  He didn't need them any more. She had created so many lies to tell them and Jusitn simply kissed her forhead and said it was the boys that blew everything out of porportion, not her.  Whatever.   That day I was left alone at the house while everyone went off in their own directions and I took the oprotunity to get my life on a new road.      When everyone was settled into bed that night I took a cab to the airport and never slowed down. 

Once I arrived in Florida I packed what I absolutely had to have into my car, put the rest in storage, and climbed into my car heading to Memphis not bothering to look back.   And that was about three days.  I guess....I was still just confused.

When I was just 14 my parents were killed by a drunk driver who hit them headon when they were coming home from a dinner party one night.  My brother Jamie had just celebrated his 20th birthday and he was the youngest to be accepted into the firm Harless and Dugan and was now stuck having to raise me.  Harless and Dugan's clients were not just your normal everyday clients, but well to do and well know clients from all over the world.  To me they were almost like a secret societ, a moffia style group I used to laugh and say, but they handled their clients financial issue as well as their legal issues and Jamie had done very well for himself.  

When my parents died Jamie was all I had left.  We had aunts and uncles, but none we were close to and the ones that did come around when my parents died only wanted to see if they could manage to swindle any money out of us.  My father however had done business with Jamie's firm and had turned all his handlings over to Paul Harless.  Yes it was the Paul Harless that owned the firm that Jamie was part of so no matter how hard I tried I wasn't fully stepping away from Justin.  The other bad part....Jamie lived just a few housed down from Lynn and Paul.  I so needed a new life and Rilyn Faith Cooper had every intention of getting one.

It was gloomy as I hit the winding tree lined roads of Meeman shelby and I felt myself losing the battle and giving into my exhaustion as I made my way closer to the house.  Christmas was just a week away and it truly did not feel like it.  I had missed Thanksgiving all together somehow and to be quiet honest I was hoping to just miss christmas too.  My heart just wasn't into it.  Memphis was showing it's signs of winter and it was chilly and looked as tho it would pour rain at any minute, but spite all that I was glad to be home and wanted some sleep so I could get my self together.

The house that loomed in front of me as I turned into the long drive was a sight for sore eyes and I was more than happy to see it.  Jamie had sold our parents house before I ran off to Florida to live and bought this one and tho I always thought it was quite large for a single bachelor it was still a beautiful home and one that was always warm and inviting. 

I didn't hesitate one second as I quickly made myself up the drive and pulled into the garage that Jamie had kindly left open for me.  I killed the ignition, found my key to his house quickly, and jumped from the car grabbing the bag that sat in the front seat next to me getting myself into the house   I hit the button just inside the door closing the garage and locked the door making way thru the mud room, down a short hallway, and into the kitchen where I saw an envelope laying on the counter with Faith , the name Jamie had called me since the day I was born, written in large letters across the front.  I smilled at the writting and sat down on the stool forcing myself to stay a wake just a few more minutes to read the note my brother had left behind.

Hey sister Faith,

glad you made it, get some rest, get some food, and i will be home from the office early tonight so we can talk.  And your welcome to stay as long as you need till you find where you belong.  I missed you and I love you...

Oh and Justin has called me three times looking for you, what did you do to that boy?   Catch up with you later.

Jamie

I rolled my eyes and laid the letter down on the counter letting my finger lazily run along the edges as I followed it with my eyes.  Where I belong.   That was question I had no idea how to answer.  I had followed Morgan and Justin for so long that I had no idea what I really wanted or where I even belonged any more.  Pulling myself from the stool, I crawled my way up the stairs where I showered, slipped into some sweatpants and a t-shirt and climbed under the warm covers of the bed I claimed as mine to shut out my problems and get some much needed sleep.

I'm not sure how long I had slept, I couldn't even remember what time I had even arrived, but I knew from the comotion going on downstairs that it was late and Jamie was home, so I climbed out of bed and slowly made my way down the stairs to the kitchen rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

"I hope I didn't wake you.  I tried to be quiet."

I laughed wrapping my arms around my brothers neck as he bent down to hug me and held onto him tightly feeling better at just seeing him.

"You have never been able to be quite J, don't even give me that one."

I kissed his cheek letting go of him and looked around the kitchen to see what he was doing to cause so much noise. 

"I was going to cook, but decided to order something so I could spend some time catching up with you.  Seems you have a lot to tell me."

I took the pitcher from the fridge watching Jamie from the corner of my eye as I poured me a glass of sweet tea. "What make you think I have a lot to tell you?"

He grabbed some paper plates from the cabinet and grabbed his glass from the counter motioning with his head for me to follow him into the den where I smelled the food waiting and a fire burning in the fireplace.

We both sat down in the floor around the coffee table and grabbed the containers from the table filling our plate with food and passing one to the other putting a little food into our belles before we even attempted to start a conversation.  I didn't realise how hungry I was or how long it had been since I had actully eatten till I swollowed the first mouthfull and decided to take it slow when I felt the rise of nause hit.

"So, sister Faith.....'

I laughed looking up to him and rolled my eyes.  "Will you stop calling me sister Faith, you make me feel like a nun.  Can't you stick with Faith."

"Nun you have not been apparently."  He said dropping his fork to his plate and cutting his eyes up to me.  "Justin has called four times asking me if I know where you are...."

"You said three I mumbled."  cutting him off and quickly shut my mouth letting him continue on as I looked back down to pick at my pasta with my fork.

"He called again just as I was coming in the door from work.  Faith, I know I have never questioned what exactly goes on with you and Justin or what type of relationship is really going on between the two of you, but I have a feeling there if more there than I want to know.  Justin is my buddy and I think of him like a brother, but Morgan is your best friend.  Your BESTFRIEND Faith.  What are you doing?"

I felt anger rise in me and threw my fork down to my plate pushing myself up to my knees and bore my eyes into my brother across from me.  "What am i doing....WHAT AM I DOING?  First of all Morgan doesn't even come close to being a bestfriend. You don't know her Jamie.  She is not the person you always knew.  She has shit on me more times then I even care to count and she plays Justin, she's destroying his life, his carreer, and ......"

"Wooo, Faith, calm down.  I wasn't trying to accuse you of anything it's just.....I hear the tone in Justins voice when he calls and I could hear it in your voice when you called to tell me you were coming home.  You love him and he loves you and until the two of you come to terms with that and admit that not only to yourselves, but to each other your both going to be misserable no matter what you chose to do."

He stood from the floor and began picking up containers stopping for just a brief moment to look down at me "Do some soul searching sis, and go with your heart or you'll regreat it for the rest of your life." 

I sighed and threw my hands over my face taking a deep breath as the shrill ringing of the phone sounded in the background and realised that maybe for once my brother was making some sense.