"Hello?"

Lanie was taken aback by the sharp tone of her husband.

"Jace, it's me."

"Hey honey. What's going on?"

"Nothing. Just working on dinner still. Do you think you're going to be able to get home anytime soon?"

"I'm not sure, Lanie." He snapped back, a little more than he'd wished.

"Okay.. it's just- well it's getting close to Christmas and your parents are coming. I was thinking we could spend some time together."

JC sighed into the phone, running a hand through his thick hair. Truth me told, he should be home with his wife. After all, she was eight months pregnant and his family was due to fly in that afternoon.

"Yeah, I know. I'll try to get done as soon as I can. I'll call later?"

"Alright." Lanie replied, slightly disappointed.

"Bye Lanie, love you." JC said but realized the line was already dead. His wife had hung up on him?

Shit. He felt horrible but a part of him knew that he had work to do and when he got in the mind set of a project, it was hard to focus on anything else. JC knew it wasn't an admirable trait of his. Truth be told, he was wanting to get some stuff off his chest, to clear his head before all the hustle and bustle of Christmas began. He still couldn't believe he was going to be a father soon and with his parents coming, it all too overwhelming. Lanie was big on family and traditions and since she couldn't fly being this far along in her pregnancy, she offered to be the host for JC's family for Christmas this year. Only JC was suppose to be at home helping her. For some reason, his thoughts had got the best of him and he'd found the excuse of work to make a quick escape, just like he'd been doing a lot lately. Going back to work, he turned his phone completely off. Maybe he'd get done a little faster.

It was late.

JC groggily stepped into his house and his face instantly fell. The house had been tidied up to perfection, all the gifts had been wrapped, and it looked like Lanie had been working in the kitchen for hours if the array of food was any indication. He felt like an ass.

Kicking off his shoes, he went over to the tree to unplug the lights before making his way up the stairs to the bedroom. He tried to be quiet as he crept in, removing his cell phone and wallet from his pocket and retrieving his pajamas. Instantly something didn't feel right. Turning on the soft glow of the bedside lamp, he was met with an empty bed. Instantly, panic went through his veins. He went over to his phone to see if there were any messages from Lanie and thats when he realized he'd never bothered to turn on his phone once he'd hung up with her. Shit.

He waited for his blackberry to boot up and saw he had five new messages. His heart began to race.

11:15
"Jace, it's me. Um, something doesn't feel right. I'm probably just overreacting. Call me back please."

11:33
"Jace, it's me again. I'm having these um-- pains. I don't think their contractions but they're coming every few minutes. Call me back."

12:40
"Joshua, this is your mother. We just got a taxi to the house and we're taking Lanie to the hospital. Call me back and get there as soon as possible."

1:04
"Josh, it's your father. Where the hell are you? You need to be here with your wife. This is serious."

His throat began to tighten with every message that played. By the third one he was already out the door and backing out of the driveway. Calling his mother, he cursed when her phone went right to voicemail. Hurriedly, he'd left her a quick message saying he was on his way to the hospital.

He instantly began to kick himself. What kind of husband was he to bury himself in his work? He should have been home with Lanie, helping her with everything. Hell, he should have been doing it for her. She should have been laying down with her feet propped up. He decided he really was an ass. Selfish was more like it. He and Lanie had been trying to get pregnant for what seemed like years. He still remembered the day she told him like it was yesterday. They had just come back from a two week vacation in Hawii and Lanie had mentioned she had been feeling a little off but just blamed it on being jet lag. Still when her symptoms didn't go away, JC had made a suggestion that she take a test.

"Well?" He asked, sitting outside of their bedroom door, hands in his lap.

"It takes a few minutes. I set the timer on my phone."

"Okay. You nervous?"

Lanie looked up at him with big green eyes. "A little."

"Hey, come here." He said, bringing her into his arms. Kissing her temple, he tightened his embrace. "This will happen when it's meant to be."

"I know. I just feel like it's my fault. We've been trying forever."

JC laughed. "That's my favorite part." He said, pulling away from her and wiggling his eyebrows.

Lanie joined in on his laughter, despite her nervousness. "Horndog."

Tickling her sides, he pulled her against him before kissing her deeply. "For you."

When they pulled away, Lanies eyes were dazed. "I love you."

He smiled, and kept her in his embrace. "I love. And I love you too, so much. I want us to be parents baby. It's gonna happen. I can feel it."

Just then, the timer went off causing the beeping to come from the bathroom. Lanie looked up at him, nervously. "Wanna go look for me?"

He laced his fingers together, gently tugging her along with him towards the bathroom. "We'll do it together babe."

"Okay." Lanie said, tucking her brown curly hair behind her ears and letting out a nervous breath.

JC, in all his masculenity went to the bathroom sink and picked up the white stick. It took him a second where he took a deep breath and looked as if he were collecting his thoughts before turning to Lanie, his wife, his love as his smile began to grow. Still holding one of her small hands in his own her pulled her to his side, bringing his lips to her ear.

"It says Pregnant."

He felt her tense instantly before she pulled away from him, her eyes great big, tears already beginning to form.

"What? Are you serious?"

Holding up the stick for her, he hugged her tightly. "Serious. We've going to have a baby Lanie."

Her arms went around his neck, where she held on to him for longer than he'd ever remember them holding one another. They breathed each other in, they hugged, they kissed, and they both knew that from that day on, their lives were going to be wonderfully different.

Clearing his thoughts, he tried to concentrate on driving. Remembering that day just reminded JC even more that he should have been home with his wife. He didn't know what had been going on in his head recently. He was never one to shy away from responsibilities but for some reason, as of late, the thought of being a father scared him to death. He wanted to be there all the time, to see his child grow up and be happy and successful in life. He wanted to see their child through Lanie's eyes. He wanted to fall in love with her all over again, as he did the day he'd met her, the day they married, and a million other moments in between. He wanted a family.

But first and foremost, the health of his wife came first. Lanie met everything to him. The drive seemed to be taking forever. JC swore he was hitting every single red light possible and getting behind every Sunday driver in the state of California. He took a calming breath, in through his mouth and exhaled through his nose and did something he realized he probably hadn't done in a long time.

"God, seriously. I realized I've been an ass. Please let them be okay. Lanie is my reason for living. I can't live without her."

Pulling into the emergency parking lot of the hospital, he tossed his keys at the valet, not even taking the time to explain himself. Hell, he couldn't have cared less if they stole his car. He needed to get to Lanie.

Going to the front desk, he probably looked like your average lunatic, looking for someone in the hospital. "I need to know where Lanie Chasez is." He practically yelled.

The lady at the counter looked at him oddly as she typed the name into the computer system. "And you are?"

"I'm her husband." He said, becoming irritated.

"I'm not seeing her in the system sir. What's the last name again?"

JC ran a hand through his hair, his hand shaking in the process. He was about to crash and burn. "I said Chasez. C-H-A..--"

"Josh!"

His heart dropped a little as he turned to see his father rushing down the hallway. "Dad! Where's Lanie, is she okay?"

"She's in labor Josh."

JC's face paled. "What? She's only eight months along. It's not time- she's not-."

"Son, you need to calm down. They've been trying to stop her contractions but it's not working."

"The baby?" He asked as they got on the elevator, nearly knocking people down.

"They said the heart rate keeps going up and down. They were deciding what to do but Lanie told them she wouldn't do anything unless you were here."

"I'm such an ass. I turned off my phone in the studio and never turned in back on. I hate myself right now." He rushed out.

Roy put a comforting hand on his son's shoulder. "It's alright, Josh. You're here now. You can't live in the past."

Deep Breaths. Deep breaths. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthen's me." Philippians 4:13

Once the elevator dinnged and the doors opened, JC was down the hall, practically running.

"She's in room 504, Son."

JC counted, the numbers quickly descending. When he reached Lanie's room, he tried to remember to breath.

Just as he was about enter, he was shoved quickly to the side as a team of doctors and nurses began to push her bed out of the room.

"Lanie? What the heck is going on here."

"Jace.." her voice came out weak. It didn't sound like the Lanie he knew.

"Can someone explain to me what's going on here? This is my wife." He demanded.

"We're moving her into the OR right now sir. We need to get the baby out as soon as possible."

"Can I go with her?" He asked, as he began to tremble. He should have been there.

"We've got to prep her and then a nurse will come out and get you when she's ready."

"Okay, but.."

"Wait a second!" Lanie yelled, causing everyone to stop.

JC was instantly beside the bed, reaching for her hand, his face on the verge of tears. "Baby, I'm so sorry. I shut my phone off and I-."

"Jace, stop. It's okay. I'm alright. You're here now. That's all that matters."

He broke down right then. "Not its not! I should have been here with you. I should have been home! I'm such an... I hate myself." He said, his eyes beginning to well up.

Lanie reached up, whipinng his glistening eyes with her thumbs. "Hush. You're here. Just have a little faith, huh? I'm fine." She said smiling thought he could tell deep down she was trying to hold it together.

Faith? Was this his wife sitting here in a hospital bed, about to have major surgery telling him to have faith? Lanie was always his rock, even in times like this. Times when she had every right in the world to crumble.

"Have a little faith.."

"If you're sure. I love you Lanie. So damn much. I'll be in there as soon as they let me, okay?"

"I love you too Jace." She said as she met him half way for an all to brief kiss. "Let's do this."

JC waited until the last possible second to let go of his wifes fingers as they pulled her away. He waiting outside of the operating room for what seemed like hours, dressed in the directed scrubs. He looked at the clock for what seemed like the tenth time and wondered what in the world was taking them so long.

"God, it's me again. I need you right now more than ever." JC sniffled. "Keep an eye on them, please? I need them in my life. I don't know what came over me. I was selfish. I was worried about myself when I know I should have been home with Lanie. I need some strength tonight, please. Be with me, be with them. I can't live in this world alone."

JC turned when he heard the large double doors open. "Sir, you can come in now." A man said, coming out of the oporating room.

Nodding, he followed until he was instructed where to sit beside his wife. He looked up, seeing the drape covering her stomach. He put aside his thoughts, knowing that blood and needles made him queasy as ever and tried to concentrate on the love of his life beside him.

"Doing okay, baby?"

Lanie nodded, giving her best encouraging smile. "I'm fine. Calm down, Jace."

He tried to smile, placing a warm hand over her forehead.

"Alright folks. We're about to begin. Now Lanie, you're going to feel a lot of pressure. Just try to stay calm for us." The doctor said.

"Okay." Lanie said, her voice faint.

JC leaned over to kiss her cheek. "You're doing great baby. You're so brave, so strong."

Lanie smiled, as a lone tear trickled out of the corner of her eye.

"Have a little faith."

"Christmas dinner, Jace."

He smiled, lovingly at Lanie. In everything going on at the moment, she was still worried about having the perfect Christmas dinner.

"It's going to have to wait honey. Stop thinking about that."

"I wanted it to be perfect."

"It will be, as long as I have my wife and child, no matter where we are."

"I love you." She sighed, her voice shaky.

"I love you, too."

The couple was interpted by the doctor once again. "Do we know what we're having?"

"No. We like surprises." JC announced, smiling down at Lanie.

"I don't even have the baby's room done yet."

"It's gonna be okay babe. You've gotta calm down."

JC looked around as some random machines started beeping, sending a nurse to her side.

"Her blood pressure's going up...Lanie, I need you to calm down and breath for me."

JC paled, looking down at his wife, feeling helpless. "You're doing so good honey. Just calm down and breath..."

She looked up at him helplessly. "I'm trying, just... so tired." She said, her eyes fluttering.

He leaned down, his heart instantly racing. "Lanie, you gotta stay awake honey. I want you to be awake to see our baby. To hear he or she cry. To see who it looks like more..."

She smiled weakly up at him. "We never finalized our names."

He winked. "I think we'll know when we see our baby."

"Okay, Lanie. Lot's of pressure. We're almost there."

She took a deep breath, looking up at JC helplessly. "Hurts."

"It's almost over. I'm here honey. Just breath for me."

JC tried not to nervously bounce his leg up and down as he sat on the rolling stool. It was a nervous habit he couldn't seem to break. Seriously, what was taking them so long?

"Okay, guys. Here's baby's head. And I see a lot of a dark curly hair."

JC tried to prevent the breath from hitching in his throat. He waited as seconds ticked by and couldn't hear anything. Why weren't they talking? Shouldn't the baby be out by now?

"A lotta pressure again, Lanie. Looks like we've got a baby girl."

JC looked down at his wife, watching as tears escaped both corners of her eyes. He was quick to wipe them away, though his own tears replaced hers. He had a daughter. He was a father. It was hard to believe. They waited a few seconds, waiting to hear that first cry but when none came, he stood up, looking for an explanation.

"What's wrong? Why isn't she crying?"

He watched as the nurses took the tiny bundle from the doctor and whisked her away from him. "Mr. Chasez, please calm down. We've gotta look her over."

His heart pounded loudly in his chest causing his ears to ring. It felt like the world was spinning around him and something heavy sat on his chest, making it hard to breath.

"Jace, what's wrong?" Lanie asked, her voice weak and unsure.

"I don't know honey. I'm right here though."

"Be still and know that I am god." Pslam 46:10

Deep breaths, Chasez. Deep breaths.

JC took a seat beside Lanie once again, placing a hand over her head where he combed his fingers through her hair. Silence.

Guilt began to set in. He was blaming himself. Why the hell did I let her do all the cooking alone? Why in the hell did I shut my cell phone off when she needed me? What if it hadn't been for my parents getting their own car from the airport to the house? This is all my fault, JC told himself.

"Prayer releases the power of God into a situation."

JC could hear the nurses, the doctors and the various sounds coming from across the room but in reality, he heard nothing but silence. He couldn't calculate how much time passed, how many times he ran his long fingers through Lanie's hair but he knew when he'd heard the sweetest sound he'd ever heard. More beautiful than a melody, or anything in comparison. Their across the room, he heard the faint sounds of his daughter cry and it seemed right at that moment, everything fell into place. He pulled his mask down from his face so he could kiss Lanie with his lips, feel her warm skin beneath his. He needed to be close to her.

Not long after that, the doctor came over.

"We've got her breathing and everything but we're going to take her to the NICU and have her checked out. We'll let you know from there."

JC shot up. "Can we at lease see her before she goes?"

"I'm sorry sir, we've got to get her there as soon as possible. You can see her quickly while we prepare her for the move but you can't hold her just yet."

He looked down at Lanie, not needed to see her gorgeous face to know she was going through her own personal tirade.

"Go see our daughter, Jace. I want her to know we're there for her."

Sniffling, he followed the nurse over to the small incubator. Quickly, he was able to see her small body, all red and wrinkly. He learned that she was only 5 pounds and 3 onces which was small but not bad for a premature baby. He took in each one of her features, completely mesmerized that he and his wife could create something so beautiful. And all too quickly, the team of doctors whisked her away.

***

JC woke, looking around and noting that the room was dark and his neck hurt. Where the hell was he?

He looked up, finding Lanie asleep in the hospital bed and it all came screaming back at him. Not being there, the fear, the guilt, the emergency C-section. The heartbreak in Lanie's eyes. The doctors taking away his daughter. And they still hadn't heard anything.

Lanie stirred in her sleep, blinking slowly before her green eyes focused on JC. He instantly reached for her hand, leaning forward to kiss her cheek softly.

"How you feeling baby?"

Her hand squeezed with his before it came up to caress the chiseled dips of his cheekbones. "I'm okay. How are you?"

JC shook his head, standing up to lay on the bed as careful as he could and hold her. "Don't worry about me. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry baby. I'll never forgive myself."

"No it's not Jace. Stop blaming yourself. I'm not, your parents aren't, so stop it. These things just happen. You'd waste too much life away trying to figure out why. Just try and have a little faith."

He took a deep breath. "I'm trying. And look at you, always so positive. Even in times like this." He remembered exactly why he fell in love with her all those years ago.

She smiled back at him. "Be still and know that I am god." Lanie said, saying one of her favorite quotes.

"That's where I got that from. I knew it was one of your favorites." JC said.

Lanie smiled. "Have you heard anything? Do we know how she is?"

"No baby. I haven't heard anything." He said taking one of her hands in his and lacing their fingers together. "I can tell you though that she is absolutely gorgeous, just like her mother. She's tiny but she's perfect. Her hair is dark brown and curly. She's got your pouty lips. Her fingers are long like mine. I could have swore I saw your dimples on her cheeks."

Lanie smiled up at him, her tired green eyes gleaming. "I just realized she was born on Christmas Eve."

"She was. If that doesn't make an amazing Christmas, I don't know what does."

They turned to see a nurse walk in their room slowly, after what seemed like hours, pushing a small baby cart. Lanie's breath hitched in her throat, doing her best to sit up, despite she had just went through a major surgery.

"Mr and Mrs. Chasez, you're daughter is doing very well. We checked her out and despite being a month early, she seems to be fully developed. She just had a rough start. I'm going to leave her here to meet her Mommy and Daddy. If you need anything, just press the call button and let me know."

JC looked heavenward, saying a quick prayer of thanks. "If god brings you to it, he'll bring you through it."

JC smiled, one that went off the rictor scale. He stood, walking over to the cart and seeing the small bundle wrapped in a pink blanket, his heart swelling with every step. He turned to see the nurse, just before she left the room. "She still needs a name."

Nodding, JC lifted the tiny baby into his arms, tears already streaming down his cheeks. Going to Lanie, he sat on the bed beside her, carefully passing her off into her mothers arms. "And this baby girl, is your mommy. She's pretty much the most amazing woman I know on the face of the earth. I'm sure you two will get along just fine."

Lanie let out a watery laugh, accepting her daughter into her embrace for the first time. "You're right. Those are your brown curls." She was silent for a second, concentrating on her daughter before turning to look at her husband. "I was kinda hoping our baby would have hair like you."

"She's a gorgeous mix of the two of us. Just as beautiful as her mommy though."

"Flatterer."

"Truth." JC ran a finger tip across her satiny cheek. "I can't believe she's ours. We did this."

"I know. I love you so much, Jace."

He leaned forward, kissing her softly before placing a kiss on the top of their babies head. "I love you too. And she still needs a name."

"Any ideas?"

"Well she was born on Christmas Eve, so something Christmasy would be appropriate but I was kinda thinking about Faith.. or Gracie."

"What about Gracie Noelle? Doesn't Grace mean 'a blessing' or God's grace? I think I remember reading that in one of my name books."

JC smiled up at her. "That's perfect, baby."

"Gracie Noelle Chasez, welcome to the world." Lanie said, unable to prevent her smile and tears of joy that matched her own.

"It's perfect. Merry Christmas, baby."

"You too. Are you ready to call the parents?"

"I called them while you were sleeping. They told us to rest and let us know when we knew something about the baby but they said not to rush. They'd take no news as good news."

"Call them. It's almost Christmas and they deserve to spend it with their first grandchild."

JC laughed. "I'll do that, baby."

He looked around, taking in the room that seemed larger than the firs time he saw it. He took in his wife, looking beautiful in her hospital gown but glowing even more with the tiny baby laying perfectly in her lap, looking as though she was made to be a mother. Lanie was right. Having a little faith went a long way in life. So did the power of prayer. Somehow they all tied together because without prayer, you didn't have faith. He sent a thanks to God, remembering that without him, he might not be where he was at that moment and time. This Christmas opened up a whole new window of thoughts for him and whole new perspective of life. He was now a family and that family would need and depend on him from here on out.

He knew he'd be fine. As long as he treaded slowly and could find it in his heart to have a little faith.

"Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas."