“A selfless Christmas wish is always the one thing that gives us the most.” 

Lookin’ back on childhood days
I can’t believe my foolish ways
Thought that Christmas only came from a store
Had to know what was there for me
Underneath the Christmas tree
I didn’t know that there could be so much more
But in all of the rush
I was missing so much 

“Seriously, Justin, quit nagging me. You’re seriously working my last nerve,” 25-year-old Ava Nezbit sighed as she rubbed her forehead in frustration. Taking a deep breath, she raised her hazel eyes to see her lounging friend of years sitting in the chair across from her desk.

“I’ll leave you alone if you agree! Just come, please!” Justin’s exasperated sigh filled her uptown high-rise office.

“I’m not going, Justin. I’m busy. I have a lot of things to do,” Ava replied. “It’s CHRISTMAS EVE!!!!” Justin argued.

“What could you possibly have to do on Christmas Eve?”

“Stuff, Justin. Volunteer down at the homeless shelter and attend midnight mass,” Ava replied with a roll of her eyes as she continued to shuffle through the endless paperwork.

“I know you, Nez. You’ll go back home and work on paperwork in between, and that’s not how you spend Christmas. Just come to dinner, please!” Justin pleaded with a pout. He couldn’t allow her to spend Christmas alone. He’d never forgive himself. Plus, he selfishly wanted her with him.

“Why is it so important for me to crash your family holiday time, J?”

“Let’s get one thing clear: you’re not ‘crashing’ my family time if I invite you. Now, you’re my friend and I want to spend Christmas with you. Plus, it is completely unacceptable that anyone be anti-Christmas like you,” Justin answered as he leaned his elbows atop her desk and stared at his chocolate brown haired, olive skinned friend of too many years to sit and remember.

“I’m not anti-Christmas, J. I celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ and I help the less fortunate. I’d say I’m pretty down with the holiday spirit, don’t you think? I get you a gift every year, don’t I?” Ava snapped. Every year, it was the same thing. Another friend inviting her to spend Christmas with their family; why would she waste time watching strangers open seemingly-sentimental gifts.

“There’s more to Christmas than Jesus Christ, helping others, and giving gifts, Nez. It’s a time to spend with the ones you love and the ones that love you,” Justin’s comment was met with yet another eye roll.

“Yes, give me a second to call up my dead father, my druggie mother, and my vanished ex-fiancé,” Ava sarcastically replied before placing her hand on the telephone receiver. A warm and large hand reached out quickly and landed atop her hand. Snapping her head back ready to fight, Ava was met with a look upon Justin’s face that she’d never seen. Well, at least not towards her, anyways.

“You are going to join me tomorrow night, whether you like it or not. I will pick you up at 6 sharp. Don’t make this anymore difficult. See you then,” his slow, almost menacing-like words echoed in her ears as she watched him stand and exit the office without another word.

“But Justin, I…” the slamming of the oak door silenced her protest. 

That I never knew the meaning of Christmas
‘Till you came into my life
I was lost in the dark
‘Till you opened my heart
Like an angel shining bright 

“What were you thinking, Ava?” she scolded herself as she made her way to the front door of her NYC apartment. Opening the door, she was met with Justin all dressed up. Black suit, white shirt, charcoal gray coat, and scarf.

“I’m underdressed, aren’t I?” Ava questioned as she stood before him in dark jeans, dress top, and boots.

“A little bit, yeah. I’m sorry. I should have mentioned that it gets pretty dressy at home. But, you’ll be fine like that,” Justin replied stepping into the apartment.

“No, no. Let me change really quick. It’s no problem. Give me five minutes,” Ava replied already halfway down the hall to her bedroom. Quickly, she dressed in a deep purple halter silk knee-length dress. There was gold jewels accentuating the bust line, and the dress had no back to it. She’d intended for the dress to be her New Year’s Eve dress, so now she’d have some shopping to do. Grabbing her gray knee-length coat as well, she stepped into a pair of gold stilettos and walked back out the door.

After briefly becoming speechless, Justin led the duo out the apartment and through the falling snow in upstate New York. Apparently, Justin had decided to rent a home specifically for his family’s gathering. Balancing her apple crisp pie and chocolate macadamia pie in her one hand, she followed Justin to large wooden front doors and inside the warm and spacious home.

“Are we the last to arrive?” Ava questioned all the while stepping inside the house.

“Yeah, but it’s no problem. We’re not late or anything. Here let me take those for you. You can hang your coat in that closet and I’ll introduce you to everyone.” Justin replied as he took the two pies from her hands.

“Everyone! This is Ava. Ava, this is my mom, my dad…” Justin introduced her as they walked into a full living room. Graciously, she walked from one person to the next, shaking their hands and kissing their cheek as they introduced themselves.

“Oh honey, you’re just a doll. We’re so glad you could join us tonight,” Lynn, Justin’s mom spoke as Ava finally made her way to her.

“Thank you so much for having me,” Ava replied. Soon, everyone headed into the large dining, where a large spread was set up. Justin’s grandfather led the group in saying grace. Food platters were passed from one end of the table to the next and conversation seemed to flow freely around the table.

“Champagne?” Lynn asked as everyone settled into the living room for some more conversation. Justin’s grandparents, and some cousins, had gone off to bed by then. It was nearing 11 o’clock, and the anticipation for Santa Claus was growing tenfold.

“Umm, no thank you. I’ll get some water in a minute,” Ava replied with a slight blush tint to her cheeks. She wondered when Justin would take her home, but she didn’t dare seem rude. He’d been making the rounds making sure to talk to all his family members. She was sure that he didn’t get to see them as often as he wished. Hell, she’d be satisfied with having a family to gather once a year like this. But, her mother had abandoned her and her father when Ava was only 1 year old. Last she’d heard, her mother was still roaming the streets of Houston looking for her next hit. Her father had died about 5 years ago around Thanksgiving from a gunshot wound to the heart; he’d been a longtime police officer here in New York City. No siblings, no extended family, and no grandparents. The icing on the cake: her fiancé had left her in September after seven years of relationship. Yeah, holidays weren’t her favorite.

“Why so lonesome? Are you not enjoying yourself?” Justin pulled her out of her thoughts. Wiping at a solitary tear before it fell from her eyes, she managed a teary smile his way.

“I was just thinking. I’m enjoying myself a lot, thank you,” Ava replied before they both stood to bid goodnight to his parents and others. It seemed that they were quickly becoming the last awake.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Justin replied as he settled back into the couch next to her. Crossing her legs, Ava turned towards Justin.

“It’s the season of giving, and all I get is a penny. What a cheap ass!” she playfully exclaimed with a raised eyebrow.

“Hardy har har. Now really, what’s going on?” Justin asked.

“I was just thinking about my dad, my mom, Caleb, you know, the normal,” Ava softly said before lowering her eyes to her twiddling thumbs. After a moment of silence, Justin lifted her chin with an index finger and smiled softly.

“He was an idiot to leave you, Ava. A coward.”

“Come on, I have a gift for you,” he whispered as he stood and extended a hand to her.

“Justin, I should really get back to the city. It’s getting really late and I don’t want you to drive back so late,” Ava argued all the while staring at his warm inviting hand.

“You’re spending the night. Now, come with me,” he repeated. Taking a deep breath, Ava allowed him to pull her to her feet and up the stairs and down the hall. Stopping before grand white double doors, Ava realized this was his bedroom. Stepping in behind him, he closed and locked the door behind Ava. Suddenly, her palms begin to sweat and shake slightly.

Slowly, Ava turned around to face Justin and before she had an opportunity to say a word his smoldering gaze hushed her. Pulling Ava towards him by her waist, her body is pressed firmly up against his. He leans down and nuzzles his nose against the side of her neck. Hip to hip, his breath brings chills down her spine and goose bumps up her arms. Wrapping an arm around her slender waist, he runs his index finger down her spine all the while placing gentle pecks on her neck. Ava’s hormones are quickly spiraling out of control; she’s rendered speechless. Like an outsider looking in, she watches his every movement without speaking one word.

Lifting his head, his finally presses his lips to hers. A lush fan of lashes lies delicately against his cheekbones as his thumb outlines her jaw. One smooth hand holds her face in place while the other is wrapped securely around her waist. Beginning with small pecks, his kisses intensify as his hold tightens. A swipe of his tongue across her bottom lip awakens Ava from her reverie.

“Justin?” her tortured whisper is heard.

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing?”

“Kissing you.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m going to show you something you’ve missed out on all your life. Now, hush, and let me show you,” he commands before pressing his lips against the spot below her ear. Her protest in choked as a moan escapes her from deep within. With no second thoughts, she’s at the mercy of his skilled fingertips, his talented lips, his beautiful eyes, and his beautiful body.

Pushing Ava backwards, Justin leads her to the central dark oak, four-post bed. Feeling the back of her knees hit the bed, Ava plops onto the mattress. Her eyes are levels with the waistline of his pants. A sense of courage rushes through her veins as she reaches out shaky hand to undo his belt. Tugging the slack’s button loose, Ava pulls the dress shirt from its tucked-in confines. Raising her eyes to meet his sapphire eyes, he gives her a small smile and nod of encouragement. A slight blush covers her cheeks as she begins to unbutton his dress shirt and pulls it off his shoulders. Leaning over her form, Justin unclasps the dress’s necktie at the base of her neck before laying her back onto the smooth silky slate blue and chocolate brown comforter.  Cupping her face as he kisses her torturously slow and incredibly deep, Ava can feel the taut muscle of his chest and back beneath his black undershirt.

The tingle of her fingertips bring a chuckle from him as his stomach trembles. Ava watched as he pulls each stiletto off her feet and placed a gentle kiss on the inside of her foot before continuing to kiss up her legs.

“Are you okay with this?” he questions softly as he towers over Ava. Her breathing is irregular and her nerves are frayed at the ends. Not trusting herself to speak, she merely nods her head and watches him smile tenderly before leaning down to kiss her. Before she can change her mind, Ava finds herself tucked underneath the comforter, sheets, and Justin. Skin to skin, she can honestly say that she’s never felt this level of electricity between herself and any other man – not even her ex-fiancé.

Feeling him run a hand between their warm bodies, Ava’s eyes shut at the feeling of pleasure shooting through her body as he caresses her.

“If this is wrong, don’t let me be right,” she mumbles into his ear before pulling it between her teeth. Justin’s shudder and groan echoes throughout the otherwise silent bedroom. Without hesitation, he raises himself onto sturdy arms and urges her legs further apart. Looking deep into her eyes, he awaits for the go-ahead signal. Taking a deep breath, she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth and nods. Looking down between their bodies, she watches him disappear from sight and appear into feeling. Tightly shutting her eyes, Ava’s hands fly to steady his movements. She grabs onto his forearms as the pressure from him increases. Inch by inch, he stretches her body deliciously.

“Damn, baby, you feel so good,” he whimpers as he reaches his furthest destination. Ava moans an agreement, unable to vocalize the sensations racing through her veins and down her spine to her toes. Her fingers twist in the curls at the nape of his neck, awaiting his movements. Sure enough, he begins a slow rocking motion that causes zings of pleasure and grunts from each party.

“You okay, baby?” he whispers into her ear as she wraps her arms around his back. Her hips thrusts to meet his every thrust. His fingertips dug into her hips hard enough to bruise.

“Don’t stop, please, I need this, please,” she implores in a hushed tortured and breathless groan. Looking into her eyes, Justin sees her need for closeness, for adoration, and for necessity.

“I won’t stop.”

Justin watches as Ava throws her head back against the pillows and arches her body up to meet his as he finds her spot. Keeping his same angle, he continues to hit her sport over and over again. Watching her strained control dissolve before him, he leans down to lavish her breasts with tender caresses and kisses.

Not thinking it possible, Justin feels Ava’s back arch higher as the rough pads of his fingertips find her taut nipples, rubbing slow circles and feeling her entire body start to shake.

“Let go for me, Ava. Just let go, mama. Fly for me,” he directly her in an airy whisper. Her body begins to jerk violently, hips twitching hard against him, and a gasp flies from her puckered lips. Covering her lips with his lips, Justin clutches her hip with one hand and her neck with the other as his stomach clenches and prepares his release.

“Justin, oh gosh, Justin…please, don’t stop…harder…oh god…faster…Justin…oh…oh..ah…JUSTIN!” her soft cry precede her body arching off the bed.

“Oh baby…oh god yes,” he moans as he continues to ride out both orgasms, Ava’s hips finally roll to a stop. Both heave a satisfied sigh as his exhausted body falls atop her worn body. Sweat covered both head to toe; lips dry, bodies flushed from heat, and eyes twinkle from pleasure. Both attempt to gain their strength to move, but both are unsuccessful.

His arms are weak and trembling and she still holds onto his back for support. Slowly he rolls off her body and onto his side. Pulling the flat sheet to cover their cooling bodies, he pulls her to rest atop his chest. Tucking an arm beneath her head, Ava ponders what just happened. Feeling him kiss her temple and forehead, Ava commands her brain from thinking. Tonight, she is not thinking. Tonight, she is reveling. 

Next morning…

Waking up to an empty bed, Ava drags her sore body from the silky sheets. Wrapping the sheet around her body, she steps into the connected bathroom. Willing the tears that have filled her eyes, she starts a shower. Spotting a pile of folded clothes atop the counter, a small smile graced her face.

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe he does care. 

Quickly showering, dressing, and completely her morning routine, Ava is startled by Justin’s booming voice from the bedroom. Opening the bathroom door, she comes face to face with his boyish face. His arm raised as if ready to knock on the door.

“Oh…hey, good morning. I was just coming to get you. Everyone is waiting downstairs to open gifts,” Justin quickly explained.

“Good morning. I’ll be right down. Thank you for the clothes,” Ava replied with a cautious, soft voice.

“How are you feeling this morning?” Justin asked as he watched her walk around him and into the bedroom to collect her clothes from the floor.

“A bit sore, but I’m ok. Don’t worry,” Ava replied. She didn’t know where he stood in terms of last night. Hell, she herself was confused. A small grin graced his face as he walked towards her. Grabbing her face, he kissed her deeply before turning to leave the room.

Left dazed and confused, Ava heaved a sigh before turning to head downstairs herself. Her fears of feeling alienated were quickly dispelled as everyone once again sat in the living room watching all the kids open Santa’s gifts. Justin had pulled her down to the floor next to him at the entrance to the living room. He pulled her close to his side and provided her with a steaming cup of hot chocolate upon entrance. She didn’t know how to react, so she went along with it. To top it off, Justin’s entire family continued to involve her in every conversation, in every joke, and in every story. She felt at home.

“This is it, isn’t it?” she murmured after capturing Justin’s attention with a nudge of her elbow.

“What is?” he asked as he helped his little cousin untangle a yo-yo. He stole a sideways glance at her but remained attentive to the task.

“This is what you wanted me to experience, right? This is what the holidays are about, right?” she spoke quietly but firmly. Justin handed over the now-untangled yo-yo before turning to look her in the eye.

“This is exactly what the holidays are about. I know you’ve been hurt. Caleb didn’t deserve you then, and he doesn’t deserve your sorrow now. You have so much to be strong for, and I’m here to be strong for you. You need three things in your life: family, friends, and love. Family isn’t just blood relatives. Friends are family, too,” Justin spoke to her as he grabbed a hold of her hand that rested on her lap.

“Are you my friend, Justin?” Ava questioned softly as a tear fell on their intertwined hands.

“I better be after last night,” Justin playfully replied in her ear. Drawing a chuckle from her, Ava turned to face him.

“I want you as a friend. We’ll work on the rest, deal?” Ava smiled at him.

“Then, it’s settled. Friends, for now,” Justin said before wrapping an arm around her shoulder and squeezing her tightly to his side. Turning his face towards her, Ava pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Pulling back, he looked at her confused.

“American tradition, right?” Ava smirked as she pointed to the mistletoe that hung above their heads. Justin chuckled and a slight blush rose to his cheeks before nodding his head.

“Thank you, Justin.”

“Merry Christmas to you and your baby, Ava.” Justin replied before placing a gentle hand on her tiny baby bump. Her deep sea-colored eyes bore into his midnight blue eyes as she smiled back.

Suddenly I realize
That I never knew the meaning of Christmas
‘Till I looked into your eyes