She's in a better place, Lance...

 

Alli was so sick, it's probably a relief...

 

Keep your head up...

 

Lance groaned as he heard those words being repeated in his head over and over again. He knew she was in a better place. He knew that she had been sick for so long. The cancer had eaten away at her tired body for almost two years and maybe it should've been a relief, but it wasn't. He was selfish and wanted her back with him and Noah. Noah. Their two-year-old son, who didn't understand why Mommy was always in the hospital. He had begged for her the night before Alli died.

"Pweese, Daddy! I want Mama to wead me a stowy!" he had told his father, as Lance tried to tuck him into bed.

Lance had tried so hard to explain the best way that he could that Mommy couldn't read a story right now to him. Noah gave up and finally had agreed to let Lance tuck him in, silently telling his father that he knew his mother wasn't coming back.  The next morning, Lance had gone to the hospital after dropping Noah off at Joey and Belle's. He had gotten to the hospital just in time.

And now, here it was, the day after the funeral. The day everyone got to go back to their everyday lives. Everyone, but Lance. He still had a two-year-old little boy that he had to take care of by himself. His mother had offered to keep Noah for the next month, but Lance had refused. Noah was his one and only reminder of Alli. His smile, his laugh, and his little turned up nose were all due to Alli's genetics.

Finally, Lance pried himself out of bed and made his way down the hall to retrieve his little boy out of bed.....

 

  

The day had drawn on for Lance until night fell. He had stayed in all day, playing with Noah and watching Veggie Tales and Blues Clues. He was doing his best not to think of Alli and when Noah would out of the blue ask for his mother, Lance painfully stated that Mommy was in heaven now, hoping that Noah would somehow understand.

 

"It's time for bed, Noah," Lance told his son, as he stood from the couch. Noah had been playing on the floor with his toys.

 

"No sleepy," Noah replied, ignoring his father.

 

"Yes, son, it's past your bedtime. Your mommy-" he had started to say 'Your mommy doesn't like it when you stay up past nine,' but there was no need for that anymore. "Never mind. Just obey Daddy and go to bed, okay?"

 

Noah sighed and reluctantly moved away from his beloved toys. He waddled over to Lance and held his arms up so that Lance would pick him up. "Daddy, stowy?"

 

"Daddy will read you a story, Noah," Lance smiled and kissed Noah's cheek. He carried him upstairs and put him in his pajamas and then tucked him in his "big boy" bed as Noah called it. "What do you want me to read?"

 

"Bears," Noah pointed to his collection of The Berenstain Bears books. Lance picked out a book and began to read to Noah, whose little eyes began to flutter and before Lance was finished, Noah was sound asleep.

 

"Sleep tight, son," Lance whispered, as he kissed Noah goodnight and made his way downstairs. He passed the pictures in the hallway of him and Alli on their wedding day, on their Honeymoon, and the day that Noah was born. "God, I miss you," Lance choked up and took down his favorite picture of the two of them. They were kissing in front of an old castle in Liechtenstein on their honeymoon. The sun was setting behind them and it looked like a professional photographer had taken it. Lance carried it downstairs and sat down on the couch, tracing his finger over Alli. His tears fell down onto the frame and in a minute, Lance was face down on the couch sobbing. The doorbell rang and he quickly wiped away his tears, getting up to answer the door.

 

"I thought you might want some company," Joey smiled, as he came into the house.

 

"I just put Noah down for the night," Lance sniffed. "Where's Belle?"

 

"She's at home. When I left she was talking to my mother and they'll be gabbing for hours. She's been on the phone with her a lot ever since we found out about the baby," Joey said. Belle was in her seventh month of pregnancy and it had almost killed her when she found out that her best friend wasn't going to make it for the birth. Next to Lance, Belle was the next one taking it the hardest.

 

"That's how Alli was with my Mom..." Lance trailed off. He cleared his throat. "Never mind. Do you want anything to drink?"

 

"Lance, if you want to talk about it, you know you can talk to me. I'm your best friend," Joey put a hand on Lance's shoulder.

 

"I don't feel like talking about it. Not right now," Lance shook his head and went into the den.

"How is Noah?" Joey asked.

 

"He's confused. He and I spent all day together and he kept asking me where Mommy was. Do you know how hard it is to tell a two-year-old child that their mommy is in heaven?" Lance was beginning to get misty-eyed again, but quickly wiped the tears away. "Sorry."

 

"Don't apologize. You have to eventually let it out," Joey sympathized.

 

"I will," Lance sighed. "So, how have you been?"

 

"Worried about you and my wife. She's been taking it pretty hard, too," Joey said. Lance said nothing and Joey knew he wanted to change the subject. "Johnny called today. He wants to meet with us next week and discuss a new tour. If you're up to it, that is."

 

"I have to move on, Joe. I can't just mope around here the rest of my life. The only problem is going to be that I have to take Noah with us. I'm not going to leave him with my mother or Alli's mother. I want him with me," Lance said, firmly.

 

"I'm sure Johnny will understand, Lance. He knows Noah needs some stability in his life, especially after what he went through. Just talk to him about it," Joey consoled him.

 

Just then, there came a cry from Noah's room. Lance excused himself and dashed up the stairs and into the little boy's room. Noah was sitting up in bed with tears streaming down his cheeks and sobbing up a storm.

 

"Noah, baby, what's wrong?" Lance ran to him and took his son into his arms.

 

"Mommy!" Noah wailed. "Mommy!"

 

Lance's heart sunk into his stomach. He held Noah tightly to him as Noah sobbed his little heart out.  "Do you want to sleep with Daddy tonight?" Lance whispered.

 

Noah nodded and clung to Lance as he went downstairs. He saw Joey getting ready to leave.

"I'm sorry, Joe, I just think it's best if I lie down with him for a while," Lance started to explain.

 

"Hey, I totally understand. I need to get back to Belle anyway. Call us if you need anything," Joey went over to Lance and patted his shoulder. "'Bye, Noah!"

 

Noah just sniffled into his father's neck and Joey tousled his hair. He waved as he headed for the front door and Lance began to start up the stairs. He went into his bedroom and laid Noah down in the unmade bed and then laid next to him. Noah snuggled closely to his daddy and Lance held him protectively in his arms, silently crying himself to sleep...

Days turned into weeks, although sometimes it felt like years to Lance.  He was only 22, but he felt sometimes as though he were 42.  Noah was beginning to get more and more rambunctious and sometimes it was all Lance could do not to scream at his son.  Of course he punished Noah when he needed it, but he tried not to lose his temper with the little boy.  That was the last thing Noah needed, was to think his father hated him after just losing his mother. He still was set and determined to take Noah on tour and watch him as much as he could.  He had talked to some of the bodyguards and they had agreed to take turns watching Noah and during the after parties, well, Lance just wouldn't go.  His son was more important to him than going to some stupid party and being pawed over by slutty fans.  At least, that's how Lance saw things. It was two days before they left for the tour and Lance was playing in the backyard with Noah.  Justin had bought the little boy a sandbox the week before and Noah had played in it day in and day out.  It had reminded Lance of when he was little and his parents taking him to the beach and how he would spend hours playing in the sand. "Daddy, build big sandcastle," Noah told Lance.  "Okay?" "Okay, we'll build a really big one," Lance smiled, giving his son a kiss on the top of his head.  "And then after we build a sandcastle, we'll call Nana, okay?" "Otay!" Noah beamed. Just then, the phone rang and Lance quickly ran to the lawn chair where he had set the cordless phone. "Hello?" "Lance, Belle is in labor!  Hurry and get to the hospital!" "I'm on my way, Joey!"  Lance hung up the phone and ran back to Noah, scooping him up in his arms.  "C'mon, big boy, Aunt Belle is having her baby!" "Baby!" Noah giggled, then he frowned, noticing that his father had taken him away from his beloved sandbox.  "Daddy, no sand?" "Not right now.  We have to get to the hospital, son," Lance replied, dashing around the house, trying to find his keys.  "Ugh, where did I put them?" he muttered under his breath. "Sand, Daddy!" Noah whined. "Not now, Noah James," Lance sighed, relieved when he saw his keys on the coffee table.  He grabbed for them and ran out of the house, quickly strapping Noah into his car seat. Lance threw his car in park when he reached the hospital and quickly undid Noah from the restraints of the car seat.  Noah clung to his father as Lance ran inside and began to press all the elevator buttons that pointed up. "Lance!" Justin called, as he ran towards Lance and Noah at the elevators.  "I'm glad I got to you before you got on the elevator." "Hi, Unky Juju!" Noah waved to Justin. "Hey, cutie.  Looks like someone's been playing in the sand," Justin chuckled. Lance looked at his son and saw sand all over his face and clothes.  In his mad dash to get to the hospital, he'd forgotten about cleaning Noah off.  If Alli were there, she'd ring his neck.  Alli always made it a point to clean Noah up before she went anywhere with him.  "I just don't want people to think that I'm a messy Mom and don't clean my child," she had told Lance. "Oops.  We were in a mad dash to get here," Lance sighed, and began to wipe off Noah's face. "Stop, Daddy!" Noah struggled to push Lance's hand away from his face. "Do you want sand all over you, Noah?" Lance asked him, as he took Noah's little hand in his. "No," Noah shook his head. "Okay, then let Daddy get it off of you," Lance sighed, and continued to wipe Noah's face off.  Just then, the elevator came and Lance and Justin piled on.  They reached the waiting room and found JC and Chris and Joey's mother was pacing the floor and Steve was chasing Nikolas around the room, trying to get him to settle down. "Do you want to go play with Nicky?" Lance asked Noah. "Yes!" Noah wiggled out of Lance's arms and ran over to Nikolas, who stopped running from his dad when he saw Noah. "How is she?" Lance asked Mr. Fatone. "She's fine.  Phyllis went back there a few minutes ago and the epidural had just started to take effect.  The doctor said that it would probably only take a matter of a few hours," Mr. Fatone replied. Lance nodded and sat down in a chair next to Chris.  His mind began to wander back to when Alli had Noah.  It had been in the same exact hospital and done by the same doctor that was delivering Joey and Belle's baby. ***FLASHBACK*** "Just one more push, Allison.  You're almost there, hon," the doctor coached her. "I can't push, Lance!  It hurts!"  Alli grunted, squeezing her husband's hand. "I know, angel, but you can do it!  Think of our precious baby and how in a few minutes we get to see what we created!"  Lance kissed her cheek and continued to hold her hand.  "C'mon, baby, one more push.  Just one more and you'll be done." Alli closed her eyes and took a deep breath.  She groaned and grunted and gave it all she had left.  The next thing they heard was their baby's cries. "You have a little boy!" the doctor announced. "Did you hear that, honey?  We got a boy!" Lance rejoiced, kissing Alli's lips and then her forehead.  "Gosh, baby, I love you so much!" "I love you, too, Lancey," Alli sighed and finally relaxed when she saw the nurse bringing their new baby to her.  She cradled Noah in her arms and kissed his forehead.  "You're finally here, Noah James.  And you are the most beautiful baby in the whole world, did you know that?  Mommy and Daddy love you very much."  She looked up at Lance.  "Look at him, baby.  He's so perfect!" "I know, angel," Lance began to get choked up, as he looked at his son.  Alli handed the baby over to him and Lance looked down at the bundle of joy in his arms.  Noah latched his little hand around his father's big finger and let out a little sigh as his eyes began to close. "You've made me happier than you ever could, baby girl," Lance told Alli.  "I love you so much...." ***END OF FLASHBACK*** "Lance....Lance!" Chris hit Lance's arm. "Ow!  What?!" Lance rubbed his arm and looked at Chris, annoyed. "Did you not just hear what Joey said?  They had a little girl!  Alyson Mari Fatone!" Chris told him. Lance looked over at Joey who held a pink bundle in his arms.  The Fatones and Dirings were surrounding him, cooing and oohing and ahhing at the baby girl.  Lance slowly got up and walked over to Joey, who made eye contact with him. "This is Alyson, Lance," Joey whispered.  "Alyson, this is your Uncle Lance.  You were named after his wife." Lance just looked down at the sleeping baby.  It was all he could do not to cry out loud, right then and there.  He bit on his lower lip and smiled at the baby and then at Joey, who saw the tears forming in Lance's eyes.  Just as Lance let the first tear roll down his cheek, he felt something tugging at his pants leg.  He looked down and saw Noah's big brown eyes staring up at him. "Daddy, can I see baby?" Noah asked. Lance picked up Noah and let him get a glimpse of Baby Alyson. "Pwetty, baby!" Noah giggled. "She's beautiful, Joe," Lance managed to whisper. "Well, she was named after a beautiful person," Joey smiled, as he too began to tear up.  "I'm gonna go back and check on Belle.  The doctor says you guys can visit in a few minutes." Joey went back into the labor room with Alyson and the families began to talk amongst themselves about the new baby and who she favored and looked like.  Lance made his way back to his chair with Noah still in his arms.  He didn't want to cry in front of his little boy, because Noah had seen enough of that in the last month. "Phyllis," Lance went over to Joey's mother, who was raving about her new granddaughter to one of Joey's aunts. "Oh, hi, Lance," Phyllis hugged him.  "Are you okay?" "Yeah, but I think Noah and I are gonna go ahead and go.  Some of this is just a little painful for me right now." "Of course we understand, hon. You go on home and I'll tell Joey to call you later today," Phyllis smiled. "Thanks," Lance sighed, "c'mon, Noah, let's go home...."

SEATTLE Shannon sighed as she came into her apartment.  Another day gone without finding a job.  She was either under qualified or overqualified and at some places, not qualified at all.  She plopped down in her recliner, lazily reaching over and hitting the answering machine so that she could hear the messages. "Honey, I was just wondering how your job hunting is going.  Your father and I are worried about you.  Call me later, okay?  We miss you!"  Her mother. "Shan, it's David.  I was wondering if you'd seen my blue jacket and if you have if you could somehow get it back to me."  The asshole. "Shanz, it's your favorite cousin.  I don't want to hear any more excuses.  I'm putting you on a flight to where our first concert is in New York and it leaves tomorrow morning at ten thirty.  You can at least go on tour with us for the first week and get your mind off things.  And don't worry about rent or bills, I've got it taken care of.  I'll have one of my bodyguards pick you up when you land which is at seven-thirty.  See you at rehearsal!"  Her retarded cousin, Josh. Shannon groaned and shook her head.  She knew she should've been grateful for what Josh was doing for her, but it annoyed the crap out of her that she was going to give into him.  Reluctantly, she picked up the phone and dialed Josh's house to let him know that the bodyguard or whoever, better be on time the next day.... ~*~ "I don't want to leave you and Aly tomorrow," Joey sighed, as he held Belle in his arms late that night. "Joey, we've been over this.  You have to go.  This is your job.  When we got married we both said that we understood that sometimes we would have to sacrifice for each other.  This is a sacrifice," Belle whispered.  "Alyson and I will be fine.  Your Mom is two miles away and my mother is here for another week." "I want you and Alyson with me.  I'm sorry if that's selfish, but I can't help that I want my family with me!"  Joey rubbed his eyes and then pulled Belle closer to him.  "Lance is taking Noah," he said quietly. "As if Lance had a choice?!" Belle looked up at him.  "Honey, I promise, as soon as Alyson gets on a schedule and is able to travel, you know I'll be on the first plane out to meet you!" Joey smiled and kissed his wife.  "I love you, baby." Sometimes, you're the only thing in my life that makes sense...." ~*~ Lance could hardly keep his eyes open on the flight to New York the next morning.  He had a hard time sleeping the night before because he was paranoid that he'd forgotten to pack something of Noah's.  He'd checked Noah's suitcase five different times in the middle of the night, yet still he felt as though he were forgetting something.  He finally realized what it was at three-thirty that morning.  Alli.  He had always taken Noah and Alli with him, but this time, there was just going to be Noah. "Get lots of sleep," JC whispered from across the aisle.  "We've got an interview as soon as we land." Lance just nodded and looked down at a sleeping Noah.  He was curled up in the seat, thumb in his mouth and his arms wrapped tightly around his blanket, which Noah lovingly dubbed "bwanky."  Lance wished he could sleep that peacefully, but he knew it was going to be impossible.  He was too jumpy, although his eyes were begging to be closed.  Finally, Lance gave in and shut his eyes.  But as soon as he had drifted off, he heard the pilot announce the descent into LaGuardia Airport. The plane touched down and startled Noah, who immediately cried for his father.  Lance wrapped an arm protectively around his son until his whines ceased and the plane pulled up to the gate.  He helped Noah out and began to retrieve his carryon.  He looked behind him to see Joey still sound asleep in the seat next to Chris. "Is someone gonna wake him up?" Lance said to Justin. "Joe, wake up!" Chris hit him on the top of his head.  Joey jumped and opened his eyes, prying himself out of his seat and stretching as he stood.  Joey had been up most of the night, talking to Belle and taking care of Alyson, who woke up every two hours.  When he left at the house at five-thirty that morning, Belle was already up and nursing Alyson. ~*~ The interview took place at CosmoGirl that day.  The guys made themselves comfortable on plush couches and the woman who did the interview was nice enough to give Noah a toy truck that he could play with while she interviewed the guys.  The little boy jumped up and down when she handed it to him and ran over to the window that overlooked the busy city streets below.  Lance was pleased when Noah began to quietly crawl on the floor with the truck in his little hands.  Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all. "....So, this next tour that starts tomorrow night, will it be a nationwide tour or worldwide?" the interviewer asked. "We're not playing many cities this go round," Joey spoke up.  "We'd rather wait until this summer to do the big tour and stuff.  My wife and I just had a baby and Lance is dealing with a lot right now, so..." "DADDY, LOOK!  BIG TWUCK!  SEE?" Noah suddenly yelled from the window. Lance shifted in his seat, somewhat embarrassed, and cleared his throat, "I see, baby.  Just a minute, Daddy's talking right now okay?"  He turned to the interviewer.  "I'm really sorry.  He's two and into everything." "It's totally understandable," the woman smiled.  She turned to Joey, "Did you want to finish that statement?" "Yeah, sure, like I said, we're all dealing with a lot of..." "Daddy, new diaper!" Noah whispered loudly. Lance looked at the other guys, who were trying not to laugh out loud.  "Um, do you mind if I.." "Go right ahead," the interviewer smiled and Lance got up and went over to Noah.  He picked him up, grabbed his Blues Clues bag, and headed for the nearest bathroom. "You know what you're going to learn really soon, Noah James?"  Lance said, as he changed Noah's diaper. "What?" Noah looked up at his father. "Daddy is going to teach you to use the big boy potty," Lance snapped Noah's overalls back together and then washed his hands and carried Noah back into the office. "I'm so sorry," Lance apologized, as he sat down. "The interview's over," Justin whispered to him. "Oh," Lance grew even more embarrassed.  He hadn't even answered one question. "Don't worry, Lance, I'm sure there will be many more interviews with CosmoGirl," the interviewer assured him, as the guys began to disperse out of the office. Johnny met them outside, "Lance, I need to speak with you." Lance nodded and walked over to Johnny with Noah in his arms.  "Johnny, I'm sorry, he had to have his diaper changed and he gets really excited when he sees big trucks and stuff."  Lance was starting to ramble and he knew it.   "Just promise me that he's going to be well-behaved tonight at rehearsals," Johnny said. "I can't promise you that he will.  He's two-years-old," Lance replied. "Dis many!" Noah held up two fingers, proudly showing off his age. Johnny gave a faint smile to the little boy and then looked back at Lance, "I know you have a big responsibility to your son.  But you also have one to your fans and the rest of the guys.  I'm sure you can find someone to watch him tonight." "I'll watch him," Lonnie spoke up. Lance turned around, "Lonnie, you don't have to..." "Hey, I don't mind watchin' your kid.  Besides, he really took to me last time I was around him.  I gotta pick up C's cousin at the airport.  He can go along with me," Lonnie said. Lance bit his lower lip, "I don't know, Lonnie.  I mean, what if he gets loose?" "Lance.  Lonnie has been with us a long time.  You can trust him to take care of Noah," Johnny assured him. "Okay," Lance sighed.  "Yeah, okay, that's fine."  He looked at Noah, "Guess what, baby boy?" "What, Daddy?"  Noah wrapped his arms around Lance's neck and looked into his eyes. "You are gonna go with Uncle Lonnie tonight and pick up Uncle Josh's cousin, okay?" Lance told him, as he rested his forehead against Noah's. "Otay!" Noah grinned.  Lance looked over at Johnny who nodded at him and then followed the other guys back to the awaiting limo.

Shannon stepped out of the terminal and her eyes began to search for a large black man in sunglasses.  JC had contacted her and told her that Lonnie would be picking her up at the gate.  He gave her a complete description, but Shannon was still worried that she'd never find him, especially in one of the busiest airports in the world. "Shannon!" called a deep male voice. Shannon turned to see who she assumed to be Lonnie, standing near the entrance to the gate.  In his arms was an adorable little boy, something JC had forgotten to mention. "Hi, you must be Lonnie," Shannon greeted him, after she'd made her way over to Lonnie. "Yep, that's me.  Just follow me.  I made sure that your luggage was already handled as soon as you landed.  The limo's waiting down by baggage claim," Lonnie told her.  "Oh, and this is Noah Bass, Lance Bass' son.  I'm watching him while the guys are in practice." "Hi there, Noah!" Shannon smiled at the little boy and squeezed his little hand.  "My name is Shannon." "Hi, Shanny," Noah beamed, as the three made their way down to baggage claim. Shannon had heard all about Lance's tragedy from JC.  It had broken her heart.  She'd never met Alli, but in every picture she'd seen with Lance and his wife, they'd looked like a couple right out of a fairy tale.  And Noah was the most adorable little thing she'd ever laid eyes on.  He had sandy blond hair like Lance and big brown eyes that sparkled when he smiled at her. "So Noah, what is your favorite TV show?" Shannon asked, getting better acquainted with the toddler, as the limo drove into Manhattan. "Blue!" Noah replied, with a hearty giggle.  "Blues Clues my favorwite!" "Oh, I see.  What else do you like?" Shannon found herself growing more and more interested in the child.  What wasn't to adore about him?  He had so much personality for his age and was very easy to get to know. "I like Lucy ‘cause Daddy and Mommy watch it," Noah told her. Lonnie smiled down at Noah, 'He means 'I Love Lucy.'  Lance and Alli always watched it with him.  I don't think Lance has seen an episode since Alli died, though." "That was so sad," Shannon shook her head and sighed.  "I just can't imagine going through anything like that." "Well, thank God for Noah.  I don't know how Lance would get on if it weren't for his son," Lonnie said. Just then, the limo pulled up to the hotel and the chauffeur began to help Shannon with her things. "Here's your key," Lonnie handed Shannon her room key as they headed into the lobby.  "The guys should be back in an hour, maybe earlier.  I know Jace was anxious to see you." "Unky Lonnie, I go wif Shanny, otay?" Noah looked up at Lonnie with an adorable smile. "Sorry, little man, but your Daddy wants you with me," Lonnie said, apologetically. "Pweese!" Noah begged.  "I like Shanny!" "It's okay, Lonnie.  If he wants to hang out with me in my room, it's cool," Shannon assured the larger man. "Well, okay," Lonnie hesitated a bit.  "I'll just let Lance know where to get his son." "C'mon, Noah, you can go play with me!"  Shannon took Noah's little hand in hers and headed for the elevators, with Lonnie behind them.... ~*~ "Lance, I'm sure Lonnie wouldn't mind watching Noah if you want to go out with us!"  Justin told Lance, on the way back to the hotel.  The guys had decided to take Shannon out on the town and didn't want their friend to miss out. "No, I want to spend time with my son," Lance replied, firmly.  "I've been away from him all day.  He needs to see his Daddy." "Lance, it's like nine at night!  He's going to bed soon and then what will you do?  You'll be bored stiff just sitting in your room!"  Chris put in.  "Look, go upstairs, tuck Noah in bed, and then you can meet us somewhere." "I don't know..." Lance sighed, wanting to take the offer, but he knew he had to be responsible.  He tried to think of what Alli would say if she had been there.  Of course there were times when Lance and Alli left Noah with one of the bodyguards and went out with the guys, but there were times when Lance went out for a few hours or he didn't go out at all.  Maybe it wouldn't be too bad if he went to a few clubs, as long as he was back before too late. The limo pulled up to the hotel and the guys piled out, Lance still unsure of what he was to decide.  They made it up to their floor and Lonnie met them as soon as they stepped off the elevator. "Where's Noah?" Lance asked, noticing immediately that his son wasn't with Lonnie. "He's made a new friend," Lonnie chuckled.  "C, your cousin is in 2409.  And Lance, Noah's with her." Lance and JC made their way down the hallway and JC knocked on the door.  A few seconds later, Shannon, with Noah right behind her, opened the door. "Josh!" she shrieked, grabbing her cousin in a hug. "Hi, Shanz!" JC hugged her tightly, and let go, looking down at Noah.  "I see you made a new friend." "Daddy!" Noah brushed past JC and Shannon and into Lance's arms. "Hey, buddy!" Lance picked Noah up and hugged him tightly.  "Were you a good boy for Lonnie and Shannon?" "Yes, Shanny is my fwiend, Daddy," Noah informed his father. "I hope he wasn't too much trouble," Lance smiled, sheepishly. "Not at all," Shannon replied, smiling at Noah, who wrapped his tiny arms around Lance's neck.  "Oh, I'm Shannon.  I'm Josh's cousin." "I'm Lance," Lance shook her hand and then looked at Noah.  "Okay, buddy, I think it's time we went back to Daddy's room and put your pj's on." "No sleepy," Noah shook his head, giving Lance his cutest face. Lance had to chuckle.  He and Alli had both named that face the "baby face."  Alli could give it like a pro and that was usually how she got her way with Lance.  "Well, why don't we go watch TV and then we'll see how tired you are." Noah's grin returned and he gave a big nod. "Thanks for watching him," Lance told Shannon. "It wasn't a problem," Shannon replied, "he's a great kid.  Hey, Noah, I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" "Otay!  Bye, bye Shanny!"  Noah waved, as Lance headed back to his room, with Noah still in his arms. "So I guess you had your hands full, tonight, huh?" JC asked his cousin, as he sat down on her bed. "No, he was fine.  He's a great kid, like I said," Shannon said.  "Okay, Joshie, are you gonna show me the sights of New York?  I've never been and I'm not tired!"  JC made a face and Shannon laughed.  She knew he hated to be dubbed "Joshie." "Geez, I thought you'd be jet lagged," JC chuckled.  "Yeah, the guys and I were gonna see if you wanted to go clubbing.  We were hoping Lance might join us, but I doubt he will.  He hasn't seen Noah hardly at all today." "Can you blame him?  That's the only thing that still connects him to Alli," Shannon reminded him.  "Now, c'mon.  It won't take me long to get ready...." ~*~ "Daddy?" Noah mumbled, sleepily, as he cuddled next to his father. "What, hon?" Lance looked down at the half-asleep child next to him, and ran a hand through his hair. "Daddy, you have work again?" Noah yawned, closing his eyes. 

"Tomorrow, baby boy.  Right now, Daddy is gonna stay with his favorite little boy and go to sleep," Lance promised him, as his eyes began to close, too.

Shannon finished off her beer as she sat in the booth with JC, while the other guys were on the dance floor.  It was nice to just sit and chat with her favorite cousin without any hassle from fans or media.  The club they had chosen was a secluded disco off of Broadway and 45th.  It was in the basement of a modeling agency and most of the crowds were 22+ women who really didn't care about NSYNC, they were just there to have fun. "Want another one?" JC asked, as he started to call the waitress over to the table. Shannon shook her head, "Two's enough for me tonight.  I'm starting to feel the jet lag," Shannon yawned. "Well, I'm gonna have one more.  Then we'll go back to the hotel," JC said, as he ordered another Heineken.  "So, did you have fun with Noah tonight?" Shannon nodded and gave a tired smile, "He's a great kid.  I'm sure he makes Lance proud." "He does.  He's all Lance has left to remind him of Alli," JC replied.  "We all love Noah.  At first, we were a bit surprised that he and Alli had him so fast after they got married, but I can't imagine life without him." "That's so sad, Josh.  About Alli, I mean.  She was my age and, I dunno.  I look at myself and I know I've got a ton of more living to do, but she wasn't given a chance, y'know?" Shannon sighed, and played with her empty beer bottle. "Well, I will have to say that Lance is doing a lot better than I thought he would be.  Sometimes I wonder if he just blocks it out of his mind so he can get on with his life.  Especially for Noah's sake,...." ~*~ Lance felt Noah's little heartbeat on his chest early the next morning.  He opened his eyes and looked down at the sleeping child whose tiny arms clung to his father's chest.  Lance looked over at the alarm clock and sighed seeing that he had to be up in a matter of minutes if he was going to get a shower and be on time for the press conference.  He carefully removed Noah from his chest and gently laid him down on the bed, making sure he was going to stay asleep.  Noah let out a little groan, but stuck his thumb in his mouth and rolled over. "Sleep tight, baby boy.  Daddy will wake you up when I get out of the shower," Lance whispered, kissing his son's cheek and making his way to the bathroom. He let the hot water run down his body and leaned against the shower wall, closing his eyes.  Last night his dreams had been filled with images of Alli and Noah and him all together again as a family.  God, he missed her.  He missed her kisses and the way she held him at night.  It had been so long.  So very, very long.  He felt tears stinging his eyes and began to sob uncontrollably, leaning against the shower wall for support.  His body racked with pain, he had to hold himself up to finish his shower.  When would it end?  He had to move on with his life.  But the more he told himself that, the harder it seemed to do. Lance finally stepped out of the shower and dried off, wrapping a towel around his waist.  He walked back into the room to see Noah laying in bed, his thumb still in his mouth, staring at his father. "Well, good morning, buddy!" Lance grinned, going over to Noah and leaning down next to him.  "Are ya up?" Noah groaned and reached for Lance, "Daddy," the little boy stretched and held his arms out to his daddy.  Lance picked him up and Noah rested his head on Lance's bare shoulder. "Daddy's gotta get ready and get you ready, too.  You wanna watch cartoons while Daddy gets dressed?" Lance rubbed Noah's back and gave his diapered butt a little pat. He felt Noah nodding his head and squeezed him.  "Okay.  But first, we gotta change your diaper."  Lance turned the television on and flipped channels until Bugs Bunny appeared and Noah gave a hearty giggle. A half hour later, they were both ready to go.  Lance had dressed Noah in denim overalls and a long sleeved red shirt with the Superman logo on it.  It was a gift from Joey and Belle and it made Joey smile whenever he saw the little boy in it. "Unca C!" Noah squealed, when he and Lance stepped out of the room and saw JC and Shannon walking down the hall.  "Shanny!" "Hey there, Noah!" JC grinned.  Noah scrambled out of Lance's arms and darted towards JC, who picked him up and threw him in the air, making Noah giggle with delight.  "Lance, we missed you last night."  JC told Lance, as the three of them headed for the elevator. "Well, I had to put this one to bed," Lance looked at Noah.  "Besides, I was too tired to go.  Maybe another night." "Hey, if you want to go tonight after the show, I don't mind watching Noah for you," Shannon offered. Lance looked at her and smiled.  "That's really sweet of you, Shannon.  But, don't you want to go out with Josh?" "Please, I know what tonight will be like.  Teeny boppers and slutty fans trying to maul my cousin and I'll sit there getting glares from everyone," Shannon laughed.  "Hey, Noah, you wanna play with me tonight?" "I play with Shanny, Daddy," Noah informed his father, as if giving Lance the OK for going clubbing. "Well, I guess you made up my mind, huh?" Lance chuckled at his son, as they filed into the elevator....

"But I want to go to swim!" Noah protested, after Lance told him he couldn't take him swimming when they were finished with breakfast. "I'm sorry, buddy, but Daddy has a meeting and..." "I'll take him," Shannon volunteered. Lance looked over at her, "Shannon, are you sure?  This is your vacation.  I don't want you to have to spend it looking after Noah the whole time." "I don't mind," Shannon shook her head and smiled at Noah.  "Do you want to go swimming, Noah?" "Yes!" Noah nodded his head up and down excitedly.  "Daddy, Shanny take me to swim, 'kay?" Noah looked into his father's eyes with a pleading statement written on his face. Lance sighed and hesitated for a minute, "Well, okay, if you really don't mind."  He put Noah down and let him run to Shannon.  "Here's my room key.  His swimming shorts are in the side pocket of my suitcase.  Oh and don't forget his orange floaties.  He has to wear those around his arms in the water." "Okay," Shannon replied and took Noah's hand.  "Just come get us in the pool when you guys are finished."  She and Noah headed toward the elevators and Noah quickly turned around and gave one last wave towards Lance. "Bye, Daddy!" he called, as the elevator door opened. "Bye, Noah.  Have fun!" Lance waved back. "Where're they going?" JC asked, coming up behind Lance. "Shannon offered to take him swimming while we were at our press conference," Lance replied, grabbing his leather jacket from the chair he'd laid it on. JC frowned, "Lance, I think it's great that your son has taken such a liking to Shannon, but this is her vacation and..." "Hey, I told her that," Lance threw his arms up, as if surrendering.  "But, she offered and was happy to do it." JC felt the wheels in his head start to turn.  Shannon needed a job.  Lance needed someone to watch Noah.  Lonnie was already getting a little tired of babysitting, even though he'd only done it once or twice and Shannon loved kids.  "Hey, Lance," JC followed Lance out of the hotel restaurant and into the lobby.  "You think Shannon would want to take on the job as full-time babysitter for Noah?" Lance raised an eyebrow and turned to JC, "Wow, now that's definitely an idea.  I'd pay her and everything.  Even give her days off and stuff.  Do you think she'd go for it?" "Why don't you ask her about it when we get back from the press conference," JC suggested.  "It's worth a shot.  And, Shannon could really use this time away from Seattle." Lance gave a quick nod, "Okay, then.  I'll ask her as soon as we get back..." ~*~ The pool was only one floor down from where NSYNC was staying.  It was indoors and one of the biggest pools Shannon had ever seen in a hotel.  She put her and Noah's towels down on a lounge chair near the baby pool and made sure Noah's floaties were secure around his little arms before she let him get near the water. "Here," Noah handed Shannon one of his toy trucks.  "Play twucks wif me, okay Shanny?" "Okay, hon," Shannon couldn't help but keep a smile on her face as she helped Noah into the baby pool and began to roll his trucks around on the marble tile. "Daddy pways twucks in my sandbox," Noah told Shannon, as they continued to crash the trucks into each other.  "Vroom vroom!!" Noah made his truck noises as he banged into Shannon's truck again. "I bet you have so much fun with your Daddy, huh?" Shannon splashed some water on the little boy and he began to giggle. "Shanny!" Noah splashed her back and soon they were both having a splashing war. Shannon watched Noah's every move and wished he were just a little older so that he could talk more about his mother.  She had seen the pain in Lance's eyes when he and Noah had emerged from their hotel room that morning.  His cheeks looked tearstained and his eyes, drained from crying.  Shannon had wanted to hug him and let him know she was thinking about him, but she'd just met him and as far as Lance knew, she didn't know much about Alli, only what JC had told her. Something caught Noah's eye and he ran to the window that overlooked the city.  It was somewhat foggy from the steam coming from the Jacuzzi, but he was still able to see out of it. "Whoa!" Noah pointed to the cars passing the busy streets below.  "Look, Shanny, big car like Daddy's!"  Shannon made her way over to where the little boy was standing and saw a limo in front of the hotel.  She chuckled to herself at the thought that Noah was only two and he'd been in a limo more times than most adults.  And he was referring to it as "Daddy's big car." "Daddy's back!"  Noah began to jump up and down when he saw figures emerging from the limo.  Shannon could see clearly it wasn't anyone in NSYNC. "Noah, sweetie, that's not Daddy's car.  He'll be back in a little bit.  C'mon, let's go play."  Shannon tried to grab his hand but Noah wouldn't let her.  He wanted to stay by the window.  His eyes looked up to the top of the window and his little finger pointed to the sky. "Mommy's there," he said quietly. "What?" Shannon had turned away for a minute to grab her towel and didn't see that Noah wasn't paying attention to the street anymore. "Mommy.  Her in heaven," Noah waved at the top of the window as if he was waving to someone in particular. Shannon's heart broke and she did her best not to let the tears in her eyes spill over.  "Yes, she is, Noah.  Are you waving at her?" Noah nodded, "Hi, Mommy!" "She's waving back to you, too, honey," Shannon whispered, pulling Noah close to her.  Noah sighed and rested his wet head on Shannon's shoulder.  This was definitely a time when Lance needed to be with his son.  Now, she too, was growing anxious for him to come back so she could tell him what she witnessed.... ~*~ The press conference dragged on and on and Lance wanted to just lay his head down on the table and go back to sleep.  His mind wandered back to Noah and how much fun his son was having without him.  'I wish I were swimming right now.  Better than being here answering these ridiculous questions' Lance thought to himself. Chris tapped him on the shoulder, "Lance, they just asked you something!" he hissed. Lance snapped out of his daydream, "Oh, um, sorry what was the question?" "We wanted to know if you're planning on dating anytime soon?" the reporter repeated the question. Lance wanted to roll his eyes.  His wife had been dead about two months and he was already getting that annoying dating question again?!  He held his composure, plastered a fake smile on his face and answered, "No, I'm trying to raise my son and concentrate on the group right now."  That was a good enough answer he reckoned, because the reporter shut up about it. "Okay, guys, we're going to grab lunch at Planet Hollywood and then go back to the hotel to get your things for tonight.  They want us at sound check around five, so we need to get to Madison Square Garden about three-thirty," Johnny told the guys, after they'd piled into the limo. "Can we stop by the hotel first and pick up Noah and Shannon?" Lance asked.  "Noah loves Planet Hollywood and I feel bad because Shannon's been cooped up there all day with him." "I guess that would be fine.  Go ahead and call and let them know we're on our way to pick them up," Johnny answered. Lance had to borrow Justin's cell because he'd left his cell with Shannon just in case an emergency happened. "Hello?" Shannon answered after the first ring. "Hi, Shannon, it's Lance." "Oh, hi!  Noah, Daddy's on the phone!" Lance heard Noah bellow for him in the background, "Hey, tell him I'll talk to him in a minute, I have to make this kinda fast.  We're going to Planet Hollywood for lunch.  You and Noah want to come?" "Oh, sure!" Shannon replied.  "We're still at the pool.  It won't take us long to change, so we'll meet you in the lobby." "Sounds great.  We'll see you in about twenty minutes..." ~*~ Planet Hollywood was unusually packed for a rainy Monday afternoon.  It was so crowded that NSYNC had to get two separate tables:  JC, Shannon, Lance, Noah and Justin at one table and Chris, Joey, and Johnny at another. Noah had behaved all through the wait in the lobby at Planet Hollywood, but he was growing tired and Lance could tell immediately that his son needed a nap.  Noah had started whining just about the time his food came and would occasionally rub his eyes and lean against this father. "You tired, little man?" Lance patted his son's brown hair and pulled him into his lap. "No.  Shanny gonna swim wit me again," Noah mumbled sleepily against Lance's shoulder. "Well, I think you need to rest your eyes before you get back in the pool, okay?" Lance whispered, rubbing his back.  Noah's eyes began to flutter and soon his eyelids shut and he was asleep.  "We'll take his grilled cheese home and he can have that for dinner tonight," Lance told Shannon. "Sounds good to me," Shannon replied.  She loved watching Lance and Noah together.  It had to have been the most precious sight in the world.  She still hadn't gotten the chance to tell him about what Noah had said about Alli at the pool.  She didn't want to make a big ordeal of it in front of JC and Justin, so she waited until they walked back to her room to get Noah's swim shorts and floaties. "Thank you for watching him today," Lance whispered, trying his best not to wake Noah.  Johnny had given them an hour and a half to relax before they left for Madison Square Garden and Lance planned on napping with his son for the time being. "He was very good," Shannon smiled, "and he's the most well behaved two-year-old I've ever been around." "Well, sometimes he can be pretty whiny.  But I guess it comes with the terrible two's," Lance sighed. "Lance, I was wondering something.  Does Noah talk about his mother at all to you?"  Shannon bit on her lower lip, wondering if she'd been too nosy too fast. Lance smiled thoughtfully, "Yeah.  Sometimes.  Why?" "Well, today he was looking out of the window at the pool and pointed up to the sky and told me that's where Mommy was," Shannon told him.  "It was so precious, Lance.  I just wish you could've been there to see it." Lance somehow managed to swallow the lump in his throat.  "Th-That's incredible.  His grandparents and I always tell him Mommy's in heaven.  But, I've never seen him point up there and say that."  Lance shook his head, "He was definitely his Mommy's little boy.  I wonder sometimes if I can do as good of a job of raising him alone." "You're a great dad, Lance.  Noah loves you so much.  He talked about you almost all day today.  Don't worry, you're doing a great job," Shannon assured him. "Thanks, Shannon.  It means a lot to hear someone else besides my mother telling me that," Lance replied.  "I guess I need to get back to the room so I can put him down.  I'll see you later this afternoon." " Bye, Lance," Shannon gave a little wave and watched as Lance carried Noah back to his room... ~*~ Lance entered the room quietly and laid Noah down on the bed.  The little boy curled into a ball and stuck his thumb in his mouth, sucking on it hungrily.  Lance crawled next to him and pulled him close just watching his son as he slept.  "Am I really doing a good job raising you, Noah?  I mean, I'm hardly ever here and when I do, it's either your bedtime or naptime.  I wish I could be with you all the time like most daddies.  Maybe one day you'll understand." Lance stroked Noah's cheek gently and kissed his forehead.  "Sleep tight, buddy.  I love you." Lance closed his eyes and then remembered he had totally forgotten to ask Shannon about her being full-time with Noah.  "I'll ask her tonight," he said to himself, as sleep started to drain him....

Noah sat on Shannon's lap all through the sound check at Madison Square Garden.  She was amazed at how incredibly huge the arena was and that in a few hours it would be packed with screaming girls in every seat.  She had always been proud to say that JC was her cousin, but at that moment, she wanted to burst with pride.  She looked down at the little boy in her lap and rested her chin on the top of his forehead.  One day, he'd be just as proud of his father. "Okay, guys, three hours.  Go hang out backstage and try to get mentally prepared," Johnny told them, as soon as the sound check was over. "Hi, Daddy!" Noah waved, as Lance jumped down from the side of the stage and walked over to where Shannon and Noah were sitting. "Hey, buddy," Lance opened his arms and Noah scrambled out of Shannon's arms and ran to his father.  "Were you good while Daddy was singing?" "Uh huh," Noah nodded his head up and down. "Hope we didn't bore you," Lance looked over at Shannon. "Not at all, that was wonderful," Shannon complimented him.  "You should've seen Noah every time you came up close to the stage.  He was squealing and waving to you and when you'd wave back he got the biggest grin on his face." "Hey, he's my number one fan.  Isn't that right, Noah James?" Lance squeezed Noah and kissed the top of his head.  "Shannon, I need to ask you a question.  It's actually more like a big favor." Shannon shrugged, "Okay," hoping she hadn't done anything while with Noah that Lance had disapproved of. "Well," he cleared his throat and sat down next to Shannon, bouncing Noah on his lap.  "You've been such a help to me by watching Noah that I was wondering if you'd like to be hired full time on the tour as Noah's babysitter.  I would pay you and everything and give you days off and whatever else you wanted.  But, he adores you and I know that Lonnie really doesn't have the time like he thought he would.  So, what do you say?" Shannon's face lit up with a big grin.  "I say yes," she replied, without even hesitating.  "I would love to be Noah's babysitter." Lance sighed a breath of relief, "You don't know what a help it is to know that someone will be able to watch him when I can't." "I'm honored that you chose me," Shannon replied, looking at Noah.  "Hey, Noah buddy, guess what?" "What Shanny?"  Noah crawled into her lap. "I'm gonna be your new babysitter.  Is that okay?" Shannon rested her forehead against his. "Yay!" Noah squealed, throwing his arms around Shannon's neck and squeezing tightly. Lance smiled at the scene in front of him.  At least something in his life was starting to make sense.... ~*~ The concert had been, as usual, a hug blowout and not one fan left without a smile attached to their face.  Noah sat with Shannon towards the middle of the auditorium along with Joey's relatives and Chris's mother.  As soon as the guys set foot on the stage, Noah began to squeal with glee, waving at his father and thinking every time Lance waved or winked at a fan, he was really waving to Noah. Shannon had seen NSYNC in concert only one time before and that had been years ago when they were still doing Wal-Mart tours.  She hadn't expected such a professional and unbelievable event at that.  JC had made her proud on many occasions, but this had to have been the proudest she'd been of her cousin. "That was awesome, Jace!" Shannon ran to meet her cousin, Noah attached to her hip. "Thanks, Shan.  I'm glad you liked it," JC smiled and hugged his cousin.  "Sorry, I'm all sweaty," he apologized, wiping his face on the sleeve of her shirt. "Oh, you are so dead!" Shannon went to hit his arm, but Lance came out of his dressing room and Noah jumped out of her arms, scrambling to get to his father. "Daddy!" Noah called, running into Lance's open arms. "Hey, buddy!"  Lance scooped Noah up and threw him into the air, making him giggle with delight. "Daddy, I saw you singing!" Noah informed Lance.  "I waved!" "You did?  Did you like it?" Lance kissed Noah's cheek, knowing what his reply would be. "Yes!" Noah nodded, eagerly.  "Me and Shanny watched." Lance turned to Shannon, "Are you sure you don't mind watching him tonight while I go out?" Shannon shook her head, "Hey, you hired me, didn't you?" Lance set Noah down and they walked over to where Shannon was standing.  "Besides, you need to go out and have a good time.  Get your mind off things." "She's right, Lance," Justin agreed, walking up behind him with a girl on each arm.  "We're all going to this new club in SoHo.  See ya there!" Justin waved, as he led the two girls away. "Damn, if Brit were here, she'd have a fit," JC muttered, shaking his head.  "Anyway, Lance you and I better get going if we're gonna get to the club before all the fans do." Lance nodded and then bent down to Noah's level.  "Now, listen to Daddy, Noah.  It's way past your bedtime so when you get back to the hotel, you have to go night night okay?" " 'Kay," Noah replied, putting his little hands on Lance's arm.  "Shanny go wif me?" "Yes.  Shanny's gonna go with you.  I'll see you tomorrow morning as soon as you wake up." "Sleep wif me, Daddy?" Noah made his baby face and Lance cracked a grin. "You know I will, buddy," Lance put his arms around Noah and squeezed him hard.  "Be good for Shanny, okay?" Noah went back to Shannon and she picked him up.  "I should be back around two.  I can't party all night like I used to.  Noah takes all my energy."  He winked at Shannon and then kissed Noah once more before he followed JC to the limo.... ~*~ "I can't believe you're not out clubbing with your cousins," Belle told Joey, after he'd called her from his aunt's house in Brooklyn that night. "Hey, I told you, I have responsibilities now and that's you and Alyson.  Besides, I haven't seen my family in a while." "You know you're dying to be in a club dancing your butt off."  Belle teased. "Well, maybe I am a little envious of everyone else, but I'd rather be dancing my butt off with my wife." "You only have a few more months and then Aly and I will join you.  I promise." "By the way, Lance went out tonight." "He did?  Did Noah go with him?" "Nope, Noah now has a full-time babysitter." "Excuse me?!" "C's cousin, Shannon came to visit and her and Noah hit it off.  She's now his full-time babysitter.  So, Lance went out tonight with Justin and JC and Chris.  I think it'll do him some good.  He's been so mopey on this tour." "I just hope he's careful," Belle sighed, getting up and going into Alyson's room to check on her.  "He hasn't been with anyone since Alli died.  I just don't want him to get into trouble." "Honey, I wouldn't worry about him.  Lance will be fine...." ~*~ The club that the guys had gone to that night had been an old pool hall and it was two stories high.  There was techno music on the second floor and hip hop on the first.  Lance scoped out everything from the bar.  Girls were already hitting on JC, and Justin was with two different girls than the ones he's had with him backstage.  Chris had immediately headed upstairs and would occasionally come back down to get another beer. "Lance, why aren't you dancing man?" JC called from the side of the dance floor. Lance shrugged and took a sip of his martini.  "I will in a minute," he smiled.  He finished his drink off and ordered a Budweiser. "What are you doing up here all alone?" purred a female voice. Lance looked over to see a woman about his age, maybe a little older, sitting next to him with a glass of wine in her hand.  She wore a tight pink halter top and a black leather skirt that was so short, Lance could already tell she wasn't wearing anything underneath.  Her black hair covered part of her face and she would occasionally flip it over her shoulder, while sipping her drink. "I'm just watching," Lance replied, knowing exactly what this woman was after. "Must be kinda boring up here all alone," she reached over and squeezed his thigh, startling him.  "Oh, I'm sorry.  Am I being too forward?" she batted her eyelashes and ran her finger around the rim of her glass.  "I'm Samantha, by the way." "Lance."  Lance cleared his throat, taking another sip of his beer and trying his best not to make eye contact with her. "You did great tonight, Lance," she squeezed his thigh again, this time moving her hand closer to the middle of his legs.  "C'mon, why don't we go dance?" "I'd rather finish my beer," Lance replied. "Fine, have it your way," Samantha shrugged and leaned against the side of the bar, her breasts almost falling out of her top. An hour later, Lance had finished off his Budweiser, plus four other mixed drinks and was well on his way to drunken oblivion.  Samantha hadn't left his side.  She was drunk, too, and from what JC could see, he was having a grand old time shooting the breeze with her. "So, Lance, what are you doing tonight?" Samantha whispered into his ear.  Her hand rested on his leg and she would occasionally drag her nails up and down his thigh. Lance had lost all sense of reality.  He'd forgotten that he'd tried to brush this woman off an hour ago, but now, he was so intoxicated, she actually seemed appealing to him.  And he'd gone without sex for so long.  He could feel his pants tighten beneath him and knew exactly what he'd be doing tonight. "Why don't you come back to my room," he replied, as Samantha nibbled at his ear. "I like that idea," she cooed, hopping off the barstool. Lance got down and felt the room spinning, but latched onto Samantha's arm and somehow made it out of the club.  She hailed a taxi for them and Lance could barely remember the name of the hotel they were staying at, but somehow slurred the destination to the cabby..... ~*~ Noah slept peacefully next to Shannon, occasionally grunting and rolling over, his thumb stuck in his mouth.  She hadn't been able to sleep and she didn't know why.  After a day like she'd had, she should've been exhausted, but here she was, wide awake, and watching The Pelican Brief on PayPerView.  It was nearing two in the morning and she was surprised Lance wasn't already back.  Of course, he hadn't been out in a long time, so he was probably making up for it. Shannon leaned against the pillows and sighed, trying to stay interested in the movie she'd ordered.  She draped her arm across Noah's back and gently rubbed it, hearing his rhythmic breathing beneath her. At that moment, Noah grunted again and turned over, this time slowly sitting up and looking around, disoriented about where he was. "Noah, sweetie, are you okay?" Shannon turned her attention away from the TV and put her arms around the little boy, who was now starting to cry. "Mommy?" he looked around, tears streaming down his tired little face.  "Mommy.  I want Mommy!" his soft cries turned into wails within seconds and all Shannon could do was hold him against her while he cried it all out.  It was breaking her heart and she wished desperately that Lance would pop in at any minute to comfort his son. 'Where are you, Lance?  Your little boy needs you right now more than ever...' ~*~ "You're amazing," Samantha purred, as she climbed on top of Lance.  "You know what I want you to do, baby?" Lance closed his eyes and let out a faint, "What?" "Please me all night long and I promise I'll return the favor," she rolled over and pulled Lance on top of her.  Lance was beginning to regain consciousness, but he let his hands wander down her body, closing his eyes and picturing Alli there instead of this slut who was underneath him. "I can do that," he leaned down, sucking on her neck and grabbing her thigh, swinging it around his waist.  She had managed to undress herself and him in the process before jumping into his bed the minute they walked in the door.  Lance had never seen any woman move this fast before in his life. Samantha clung to him as he slid inside of her, her nails digging into his back.  Lance groaned as he began to push himself deeper into her.  This was so wrong.  He knew that.  But he'd gone without sex for so long that he felt he almost owed it to himself.  But, not with this whore. Lance didn't know where he managed to get the strength, but he got off Samantha and frantically began to throw her all of her clothes. "What the hell are you doing?" Samantha demanded, sitting straight up in bed. "I can't do this," Lance shook his head.  "I have a little boy that needs me and I've got to get back to him." "You bastard!  I can't believe you'd do this to me!" Samantha screamed.  Lance quickly threw on his boxers and a wife beater and shook his head at her. "I'm sorry.  Can you please leave?" he narrowed his eyes at her and Samantha got off the bed and quickly got dressed again. She walked over to Lance and slapped him across the face, "I knew you were nothing but a tease!" Lance winced and turned away, "Just leave, okay?  We'll pretend like it never happened." "It never did!" Samantha muttered, slamming the door on her way out. Lance sat down on the edge of his bed, resting his head in his hands and letting out a huge sigh, "What the hell was I just doing?" he asked aloud.  "How could I have done that?"  He slowly stood up and grabbed his key, making his way down to Shannon's room.... ~*~ Shannon had managed to get Noah back to sleep by singing to him.  He had cried so hard that he had started to cough and Shannon silently prayed that singing would do the trick.  She looked down at him, cradled in her lap, his cheeks still very much tearstained.  'God, Lance, please come back.' As if on cue, there was a knock at her door.  She slowly got up from the bed and, with Noah in her arms, answered the door.  She smiled when she saw Lance on the other end, but her smile quickly faded when she saw how he was dressed and the lipstick smears on his face.  It was no secret where he'd just been.  Or what had happened....