Three weeks earlier

I slowly open my eyes as I feel butterfly kisses being placed all over my stomach. I feel fingers caressing my arms and running through my hair. The feeling is amazing. The soft kisses slowly climb up until they reach my lips and come to a halt as brown eyes meet blue eyes.

"Good morning." A drowsy voice says

.
"Morning, baby." I smile. I get out of bed and start to get my stuff ready for the airport.

"So, officially you are going to Cali on vacation?"

The question floats in the air as if the vacation hadn't been planned and tickets hadn't been purchased. I felt an agreement coming on so I nod and continue throwing clothes across the room.

"And you know the love of your life is ‘gay'?" I hear as I step into the shower.

"You're the love of my life.Besides, he's no gayer than I am." I take my shower as fast as I can knowing my cab could be here any  minute.

As I'm searching through my closet for my dress pants, I see where this whole gay conversation came from.

"Come look" I walk across the room to see the magazine that's laying on the bed. The National Enquirer is flipped to a page that shows a picture of JC Chasez with Chace Crawford.

"That doesn't matter if he is or isn't. I love you."

"Yea, I know. Just don't forget when you go out there." I stare in the mirror rolling my eyes, trying to keep myself from laughing.

"If I find JC Chasez, I am gonna make sweet, sweet love to him." I say matter-of-factly.

"Yea, you better not." A serious face is made and threatening tone goes alone with it.

                     -BEEP

            -BEEP-

                      BEEP-

              BEEP- (The Cabbie must an impatient mofo...Once was enough!)

I could see that it was getting serious so I stop with the jokes. I am ready to go and I knew that I had to make peace before I went.
"Baby, listen. Nothing is going to happen. You are gonna jinx me if you keep it up."

"It's just, you know, I love you, Camila, and I would hate for something to tear us apart. You know how I get"

"And I love you too, Nicole." I walk back to where she lied in bed and gave her a long goodbye kiss. She slaps my bottom and sends me on my way.

"Yes, I know how you get." I love my girl, but she is crazy as hell. I wouldn't mess her on a bad day.

"I love you, babe." She yells as I run down the stairs to catch the cab that's about to leave me.

"Yea, me too." I say to the door as I slam it behind me.

I arrived at the airport in LA and spotted Eli, my big sis, holding a sign with my name on it. I guess she was excited to see me after such a long time. She looked younger than I did. She had long, black hair with blond streaks, big sunglasses, and wore a blue mini skirt with a black blouse. I think she’s hotter than me, but then again the head cheerleaders are usually hotter than the average girl.

“SIS!” I ran up to her and gave her a huge hug leaving my luggage in tow.

“Cam…well aren’t you all grown up?” She lifted my arm and spun me around to see all of me. 

“Where did that booty come from?” She patted my butt down and I turned a shade of red as I pulled my arm away. 

“Damn, you are acting like my mom does when I go visit. KNOCK IT OFF!” Eli turned me towards the exit and we headed towards her house.

Eli’s house had two floors and five bedrooms, with a bathroom in each, too big for two people. Her boyfriend Tony was in the military and he was rarely around. We went upstairs and she showed me to the room where I would be staying for the week. It was decorated in pink wallpaper with little angels. As I leaned into look at the little angels, I noticed they were JC angels.

“Cam, this is your room obviously forever. I don’t think I could sleep with JC’s ugly mug staring back at me.”

“Awww, you do love me.” I said as I walked across the room. I went into the bathroom and noticed that it was NSYNC themed. There was baby blue wallpaper with hand painted pictures of JC sprawled all over. The toilet seat cover also had a picture of JC sewn on to it.  I couldn’t do anything, but smile like a kid at Christmas. 

“I can’t believe you would do this.” Tears were running down my face and my voice was breaking. As we were unpacking my clothes, we sat across from each other and reminisced about the good times. We talked about all my past conquests and failures and how I ended playing for the other team.

“So how is crazy ass Nicole?” Eli asked me with a raised brow. 

“She’s not crazy. She’s just not fit to be played with is all.” I stated quietly. 

The last time the two had been together in a room, Nicole had ended up breaking Eli’s nose and fracturing her wrist. Nicole’s combat training made her dangerous, but her temper made her lethal.

“She’s not that bad.” I stated softly. 

“Tell that to my nose. It’s still a little crooked from the punch the bitch gave me.” She added with a frown. 

“Here’s what we’ll do, little one. We will see everything that is anything and then we shall go out clubbing.” She paused and looked at me intently.

“You are to get SOME from a man and record it to prove it to me.” 

“You know I can’t do that. I’m happily engaged.” I chuckled and laughed at her.

Was I really happily engaged or was I just saying it? When Nicole asked me, I hesitated. I couldn’t give her answer. She convinced me after a couple of weeks, though, and I convinced myself that marrying Nicole was the right thing to do.

For two weeks, Eli and I spent it shopping and sight seeing. I went to see Disney World, Universal Studios, the Walk Of Fame, and everything that was anything to be seen. On my second to last night, Eli proposed that we go out for a night on the town to celebrate my upcoming marriage and perhaps have a unforgettable night. She took me to Butter where her friend worked and celebrities frequented. The club had 3 floors, a dance, a  bar, and a VIP floor. I, of course had to go sit at the bar because the World Series game was on. Who cares if there were ‘important’ people on the VIP floor? Derek Jeter was at bat and he was gonna take the Yankees to another World Series win.

“So here’s the deal, if I don’t hear from you after 1am, I will assume you are getting lucky and I will leave. Just call me tomorrow before 2pm to let me know you are all right.” Eli murmured as we went our separate ways.

I wasn’t really interested in partying, I never had been, but today had to be different. A life with Nicole meant monotony and a set schedule. Was I really ready to be treated like a child for the rest of my life? Nah…

I drank up the rest of my mojito, my 5th of the night, and headed to dance floor. The bodies in the middle of the dance floor were gyrating to the beat. It looked like a big orgy and I knew I had to get in on it. Then I spotted her,  5’9”, brunette hair, long legs, and sexy outfit. I had to go dance with her. I ran up behind her and started grinding. I put my hands on her waist and slid them down. She was a little shocked at first, but went with it. The music was blaring and it seemed like all the dancers stopped to watch us. Our bodies were in perfect synchronization and we were one. After the song was over, I took her hand and led her off the dance floor.

“I’m Cam.” I said extending my hand out to her.

“Trace.” She responded with a huge smile on her face. 

We talked for a couple of minutes  and had a couple more drinks . Then she gave me her number and headed back to the dance floor. I sat back down at the bar and watched her shake her body to the beat, and that’s when I saw him.He walked towards the bar while staring at me. It can’t be him, I told myself.

“Hi. Is this seat taken?” He asks me as he sat down .

“Aren’t you suppose to wait for an answer before you sit down?” I said teasingly.

“I saw you on the dance floor. Do you know that girl?” 

“No, I don’t. But she was sexy, so I had to go dance with her.”  

“Oh ok. So that means I have no chance.” He smiled as he turned to me.  

I look him up and down, and boy does he look delicious. I lean into him before crushing my mouth into his.

“I’m Camila.”  I said breathlessly.

“Josh, but my friends call me JC.” He leaned back into kiss my lips and brought me into his arms. “You wanna get out of here?”

Was this really happening? He winked at me and licked his lips.

“Let’s go.” I said as I stood up off my stool and gave him my hand.

As he pulled me through the crowd, I wondered where he was taking me. I knew we weren’t headed towards the exit since we  had to go down a floor to do that, but he was taking me somewhere where there weren’t that many people. He was sneaking me towards the back of the club. 

‘How did he know there would be no one back here? Has he done this before?’

He led me to a room that was empty and resumed his assault on my mouth. Histongue left no corner unexplored, as I let out soft moans into his mouth. My moans did not mean I was not fighting him back by pushing against his with my tongue, licking at every crevice of his beautiful mouth. Our tongues dueled for control. My more experienced tongue was the victor, and he wasn’t having it.

 
He leaned me against the wall and started to run his hands down the sides of my body, feeling me up. He squeezed  my sides and gently pinched my side fat, which made me let out a giggle. It was as if he appreciated the fact that I loved to eat and didn’t believe in being a bag of bones.  

He kept going even lower. His fingers slid between my legs and went up. He touched me where no man had before. He gently slid two fingers into me and started pumping gently as he gave me short, hard kisses.

“Oh, JC!”I yelled as I felt myself losing control. I felt a big wave of pleasure coming on and couldn’t believe he had brought me to that point that fast. No one ever had.

“Cum for me, baby.” He kept going up and down, touching that sweet spot more and more each time. He started sucking on my neck and I was sure he was going to leave a mark from all the pressure he was applying. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I let go of all my juices all over his fingers. 

“JC!” I screamed in ecstasy. Luckily, it was muffled by the rumbling of the music being played in the background.

He brought his fingers to his mouth and tasted me . I had never seen something more stimulating than that before. If he hadn’t been pinning me to the wall, I would have collapsed on to the floor. I tried to regain my composure, but didn’t have the strength to do so.

When I finally looked at him, he had a huge smile on his face and a twinkle in his eyes that told me we had only begun.

His hands returned to my inner thighs, but this time it was to pull down my thong. He brought it down ever so slowly while caressing my clit. I was shaking while trying to keep myself standing. He knew what he was doing to me and my eyes begged him to stop since my mouth couldn’t or wouldn’t.

“JC….” I tried to speak, but his fingers on my lips silenced me.

I watched him slowly unzip his pants and let his rock hard manhood out of his pants. I had never seen a real life penis before and thought my eyes were gonna pop out of my head. 

‘So that’s what those look like’ I thought to myself, while I lightly bit my bottom lip.The head was purplish and mushroom like and wide as hell. It was long and thick. And IT was gonna hurt. 

‘Should I lick my lips and be excited or should I run?’ I thought to myself.
My breathing pattern became short and I started to take deep breaths to try and make it normal.

“Baby, look at me.” He said after he saw I was intrigued and amazed by it. He tried to tip my face up to him, but I held steady staring at his penis. He kept insisting, so I had no choice but to look up.

I raised my head to meet his soft gaze on me. His eyes were consuming me, looking at me as if I was a child. A smile crept to his face and I thought he was gonna laugh at me.

Instead, he took his hands off me for a couple of seconds to put his monstrous dinosaur away. I suddenly felt a weight lift off me and felt free.

His smile got wider as he realized that my breathing went back to normal. I couldn’t believe that after all those years saying that I would rip JC Chasez in half, I had a mini panic attack at the sight of his penis. I guess I shouldn’t have talked all that smack and got some practice instead. 

At the thought of it, I got embarrassed and felt my cheeks turning all red. I felt feverish and self-conscious. I can’t believe that I’m 22 years old and I’ve just seen my first penis. I stood there in silence staring at his shoes hoping that the ground would open up and take me into it.

‘How do I face him when he’s just calmly smiling?’ ‘Why isn’t he upset? ‘What am I

gonna do?’

‘What’s with all these questions, where are my balls?’ ‘oh, yeah…I don’t have any.’

‘There. An answer.’

My thoughts were running a mile a minute, to a point where I thought that I was officially going crazy. All the while we stood in silence, with me still staring at his shoes. 

After a couple of minutes, JC finally spoke.

“Cam?” 

 I didn’t answer.

“Cam?” I raised my eyes once again to meet his. There was still amusement on his face and it was if he was undecided about his next step. 

“What time is it?” I asked out of the blue.

He took his cellphone out of his pocket and showed it to me. ‘1:30am’I cringed inwardly realizing that Eli had already left. If Eli said she was gonna leave at a certain time, then she did. I was so screwed.

“Why do you care what time it is?” He asked  with a puzzled look on his face. 

“Well, my sister Eli and I were here together and she told me that if I didn’t call her

by 1am, she would leave without me. AND she would assume that I’d be getting

SOME.” I said sarcastically.

“Getting SOME?” JC scoffed at the idea. “You almost passed when you saw IT.” 

‘OH NO HE DIDN’T’ 

I pushed him off me and started to walk away. As I got to hallway, he grabbed my arm and pulled me back into the room roughly. He had me once again pinned me to the wall, although this time he had my arms over my head holding me prisoner.

“What the hell are you doing?” I yelled.

“You can’t just leave like that. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it to offend you or anything

like that. It’s just…” He trailed off as he seemed to lose himself in my lips.

“It’s just WHAT?” 

“It’s just…Are you a virgin?” He asked as he ran a finger down my cheek.

I stood there completely paralyzed, not because he was holding me, but because he could see right through me. Was I really that obvious?

“Yes. So what?!”

“Damn, when I saw you dance with that girl, I thought you would be fire in bed.” He released my arms and said , “ but I have a sweet, little angel instead.”

I was perplexed with his response, but I was pleased that he didn’t judge me because I had chosen not to give my virginity up that easy. 

“I wanna leave cause my head is starting to hurt. Can you please take me home?” I asked barely above a whisper. 

“Sure. Where do you live?” 

“Sure. Where do you live?” 

It echoed a couple of times in my head before it actually registered.

‘Shit! Where does Eli live?’

I reached in my pocket and pulled out my iPhone only to see that it was off and that the battery had died. I shook as if that would somehow revive it, and nothing. Maybe if I stared at it long enough it would power back on and I would be able to go home.

“Hello? Is anyone there?” he interrupted my thoughts as he knocked on the side of my head softly trying to get an answer.

“I don’t know.” 

“You don’t know?”

 How ridiculous did that sound? A grown woman does not know where she lives. How does one explain something that pathetic? He stared at me as I walked away and leaned against the wall crying. Why I was crying? I just couldn’t believe how my luck had changed that night. It had gone pretty well.

1. The Yankees had won the World Series and Derek Jeter had once again been named the MVP.

2.A hot girl gave me her number and told me to call her as soon as possible. I wasn't going to call her, but I was flattered that she told me to.

3.(And the most important) I got to meet JC Chasez, the man I had been obsessed with for as long as I can remember.

NOW, I was pretty much stranded and at his mercy. I had no money since I had not brought my wallet and had no phone to call for a ride home, wherever that was.

‘Great idea, Eli!’ I thought, making a mental note to punch her in the face or cause her bodily harm next time I saw her.

“Come home with me.” He finally said. 

Sensing my hesitation he added, “You know you want to.”

‘Did I really? What would that lead to?’ 

Ten minutes ago, I almost lost my virginity to the man who I’ve always wanted to lose it to. I didn’t think twice until he actually pulled IT out of his pants and I saw how big IT was. He would break me in half. And now, I’m just supposed to go home with him as if that almost didn’t happen. Well I don’t have much of choice. I wiped my  face which was now red and tear stained and turned to him.

“Ok. But I’m not sleeping in the same room as you.”  

“Fine.“

He went to the corner where I had been standing. bent down, and picked up the little  black thong he had stripped off me earlier. I held my hand out for it, but instead he put it in his back pocket. He rolled his eyes at me and led me out the club while holding my hand. He told me to wait for him around the corner so we wouldn’t be photographed together. I thought that was a pretty good idea considering my ‘beloved’ would be scanning the world looking to see where I was and who I was with.

“Hi, I'm Camila Aarons.” I said climbing into his black BMW and waving at him. 

“You’re a dork, you know that right?”

“What do you mean I’m a dork?”

“Nothing. Nothing..." 

We sat in silence until he spoke. 

"So tell me about yourself.”

“Why?!”

“I wanna know. What do you do? Where are you from? Something along those lines maybe.”

“I’m a techie at Lockheed. I pretty much stare at computer code all day and get paid obscene amounts of money to do so.”

He scoffs under his breath and doesn’t say anything else for a few minutes. 

‘What’d I say?’

I didn’t say anything offensive although my tone may have been a bit conceited. I went to speak, but he shushed me and smiled.

“Just sit there and be quiet before I start to tickle you or something.” 

He turned up the radio and ‘SexyBack’ was playing. I cringed inwardly while I reached for the radio to turn it down. 

“That’s my bro’s song. Leave it.” He slapped my hand away softly as he hummed the lyrics. I shrugged and sat back in my seat.

‘Bro’. Well I rather be an only child than have him be my bro. If my bro cost me a major promotional appearance just because he wants to expose a woman’s breast on national tv, he would cease to be just that. If my bro acted as if nothing had happened while I sat and watched him perform on the Grammys, he would not be my bro. But then again, this is JC we are talking about. This man has no backbone. He doesn’t stand up for himself, only his friends and family. He just lets people do whatever they want to him and smiles since they are his ‘friends.’ How could he just continue to be friends with someone that set his solo efforts back? He must have felt like a hurt little boy when Jive didn’t back his solo effort wholeheartedly. Yet, he still chose to be nice about it and release a statement where he didn’t slam Jive. When is he grow some balls and put people in their place? 

Wait....

Did he just get me to shut up?

I am walking on a hill and end up by the Hollywood sign and I have no idea how to get down from here. I wonder how I got here in the first place, since I don’t really know my way around the city and Eli is nowhere to be found. 

“HELLO?! IS ANYONE THERE?!” I scream hoping to get any answer. I hear the sound of my voice echo but no response following it.

Giving up, I walk over to the sign and sit in the first ‘O’ as I stare into the distance.

“Camila!” Someone from behind me called out. 

I don’t need to see who it is to know the voice.

I turned around only to see this 5’10’’, blue-eyed, bottle-blonde  wonder fast approaching. I’m not sure whether to run or to stand my ground, but I choose the latter and start to walk away. It’s amazing that the power this person has over me. I can‘t allow it, I shouldn‘t allow it, but she’s so beautiful. It’s as if she draws me in more and more every time I see her. Her full lips are calling my name and disarming my fear. However, I snap out of it as she draws closer to where I am standing. The smugness of her face and her expression lets me know that she is angry and that can only mean I’m in trouble.

“I know what you did. I always know what you do. ALWAYS!” 

“How could you know?”

“I have people watching your every move. And you, my love, made a wrong one!”

She grabs my shirt and pulls me up to her face.

“Nicole! PLEASE! You’re scaring me!” I try to take her hands off my shirt, but that only tightens her grip.

“You should be scared, you bitch. Very, very scared”

I’ve never seen this side of her. I’ve never seen her this upset or this determined.  She drags me slowly as I kick and scream, hoping that someone will hear me and save me from her. She continues to drag me until we reach the edge. I know what’s coming, but I can’t stop her.

“This is for betraying me.” 

“Nicole, NO! I’m sorry! I don’t know what I did, but I’M SORRY!”

“Sorry won’t take it back.”

She stands me up and pushes me off the edge.

 /***********************************************************************

“Hello? Is anyone there?!“  I see a hand being waved in front of my face.

Could she really do that to me? Is she capable of such a thing? I have to leave… 

The hand places itself on my shoulder and shakes me until I respond.

“Huh? What?!”

“I said we are here. Come on, it’s 2am already. Let’s get inside.” 

Not getting drunk anymore, cause it makes me hallucinate.

JC steps out of the car and comes around to open my door. He helps me out as I almost stumble while getting to my feet. 

“Can you walk?”

I nod my head and try to take a couple of steps before almost ending up on the floor. He grabs my arm firmly to keep from kissing the pavement and I yell out in  pain. I know that’s gonna leave a mark.

“Sorry.” 

He picks me up like a damsel in distress and throws me over his shoulder. I can’t believe his skinny behind was actually able to pick me up. I’m no lightweight cause I eat everything in sight and don’t really exercise too often. I gotta be about 140 pounds.

“Please don’t drop me.” I say staring down at the floor.

“I won’t baby girl.” He says slapping my ass.

////////////////////////////////////////////

I guess I must have fallen asleep at some point because I woke up in a bedroom that I did not recognize. The room was lit on by a small night light.  I turned over and reached for the lamp that was on the night table so I could get a better look of the room I was in. It was nicely decorated and very organized. The clothes that I had been wearing were neatly folded on top of a dresser and I was now wearing a black tee shirt and boxers. I was completely naked under the tee shirt meaning he took off my bra. 

My cell phone was on a charger in the corner of the room and JC’s sexy ass was nowhere to be found. I got out of bed and headed for the hallway. I walked down a long hallway and found what I thought to be his room. I reached for the door knob and it was locked. I don’t worry about it at all, since ol’ girl had taught me how to break into almost any room. I reached for one of the bobby pins that was in my hair then stuck it in the bottom half of the key hole. I stuck another in the top half. Intertwining them, I turned them to the left while holding on to the knob, until I heard the door click.

As I entered the room, I noticed that there were two parts to it. There was a sitting room and a short hallway that lead to his sleeping area. His sitting room was a bit messy. There were  notebooks all over a desk and sheets of paper laid all over the floor around the desk. I took a peak at a piece of paper with ‘You Ruined Me’ written at the top.
                       It read:

[Chorus:] Insert something here. Keep drawing a damn blank.

 I will be the last to let you down 

All your fears and doubts are hovering above you like a cloud

  And the water's rising  

Now I can't breathe

 Nothing's how it's supposed to be 

How did you do this to me?  

Locked inside your heart shaped box 

  Chorus:] Still nothing………..

 I thought I could be helpful so I decided to add something.

“JC, hi, Camila here. I saw this one the floor and couldn’t resist.  I wrote down something for the chorus you seem to be having so much trouble with. I hope you like it.”

I can't be with anyone Since I felt our worlds collide 

It's like I most died 

The way you make me feel I'm changing,

got me breaking down inside 

Baby can't you see

 You ruined me for life 

I knew exactly what went with something like this. Since I couldn’t see myself kissing any other lips, even though there was someone already in the picture. I put it back in the same spot where I found it.

The sleeping area was virtually empty with the exception of a huge bed and a flat screen TV with a PS3 attached to it.

JC laid  in the middle of that huge bed, in nothing but a pair of boxers. 

I have never seen something so irresistible before. He looked good enough to eat and I just might.

I climbed in bed with him and laid little kisses across his muscled stomach.

I stuck my hand under the elastic of his boxers and snuck a peek at IT again. It didn‘t look so frightening when IT was half-hard. All I have to do is picture IT this way and all will be well. I traced his abs with my fingers, then followed with my tongue. 

His blue eyes fluttered open as I kissed his mouth and he began to kiss me back, taking me into his arms and laying me over him.

“Hi. “ He said yawning.

“Hi. I’m lonely.” I say running my fingers through his hair.

“I thought you said you didn’t want to sleep with me?” He says grabbing my hand and placing a kiss on it.

“Well, technically, if we don’t get much sleep, then I won’t be sleeping with you.” I said with a smirk on my face.

“You’re a lot of talk and little action.” He answered wagging his finger at me.

“Well that’s because no one’s given me reason to be any other way.” I nibble my bottom lip as I stare into his eyes.

“Well we’re going to change that, aren’t we Cam?”

“Can we make proof of our change?” 

He looks at me wondering what the hell I meant. It hits him a couple of seconds later.

“You wanna make a video?” 

“Yes, Daddy.“ I see his eyes light up when the word leaves my mouth. 

“Ok, so while I get everything ready, go down the hall and freshen up.” He said to me getting off the bed.

“Freshen up?”

“Just get out of the room, so I can get it ready please.”

“Why?”  

“Just trust me.” He just smiled, walked me to the bedroom door and shut the door on me.

I walked down the hall and went to the bathroom. I sat down on the toilet and talked myself through what I was going to do.  No matter which way I put it, it always seemed to make sense. I mean out of the people in the world, it made sense to me to give him my virginity. I hadn’t been obsessed with anyone else and I don’t think I ever would be. I mean, how many females can say they lost it to JC Chasez?

 I’m hoping only about a handful, but I want to be part of the handful.