Justin winced as pain shot through his ankle. "God dammit!" he screamed and collapsed onto the sidewalk. He was mere yards away from his destination, he couldn't quit now. The red light from the CVS sign shown dully on his face, giving him that extra fight he needed to press on.

The night was humid and wet from the chain of thunderstorms that were currently ripping through Central Florida. He was soaked from head to toe but that didn't stop him from limping the rest of the way to the entrance of CVS.

The doors opened automatically and Justin trudged forward and to the back of the Consumer Value Store. A woman wearing a white suit and a red name tag baring the name 'Donna' came to greet him. "Hi Justin," she said warmly. Her smile soon turned into a frown when she saw the pathetic state he'd allowed himself to get into.

"Hey Donna," he said, spent.

"Are…you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm here for my prescription."

"Which one did your doctor say to go for?"

"The Oxy."

"Oxycontin?"

"Yeah."

"How many milligrams?"

"The...biggest one."

"80?"

"Yeah."

Donna left the counter for a moment and returned with a vile full of large blue pills. "Now you know you've gotta be careful with these right?"

"Mmmhum."

"They're powerful. Take only as many as you need."

Justin nodded and smiled. "Thanks Donna. I'll be back later."

"You're always welcome." Donna waved goodbye as Justin stepped back into the moist, electrical air.

"It's a shame," she said under her breath. "One day everything's gonna come crashing down. He won't even know what hit him."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JC liked to work at dusk. Why? He wasn't quite sure. Something about the day changing into night inspired him so he made sure to always be a the studio or somewhere nice and quiet when it happened. It was far past dusk now and home was looking as appetizing as ever when he slid his key into the lock and turned to doorknob, being sure to jiggle it just enough.

The lights were off and there appeared to be no one else home which was quite odd, Justin was the only other person staying at his place but it was only because he couldn't get around his own very easily. But JC's house was always a sort of gathering place for the guys. Go figure. He flicked the light switch to illuminate the foyer and as soon as he did, he heard a moan come from the living room. "If Joey brought another girl over here..." he said to himself and entered the room.
He was way off. Instead of finding Joey and his newest fling making out on his couch, he saw Justin laying face up on the floor in nothing but white Tommy Hilfiger boxers and a sock.

The TV was on but it was muted. Hum, he'd seen this before. Justin opened one eye and shielded it from the stream of light emulating from the foyer. "J?" JC asked.

"Hi," Justin replied raspily.

JC looked around for any proof of what he knew had occurred but found none. Justin laughed. A discentered, nebulous laugh very much unlike his own.

"The Lance Bass Show," he said between laughing bouts. "Will Sasso is so funny."

JC looked to the television. Sure enough, MAD TV was on and one of the cast members was doing an impression of Lance, and a damn good one at that. JC didn't care about Will Sasso though, or MAD TV or even the fact that there was no sound. "Where is it?" JC asked and clenched his jaw.

"What?"

"Where's the Oxy?"

Justin moaned. "I told you, I ran out."

"Justin, don't lie to me."

"I ran out. You saw it. I don't have any left."

JC straddled his friend and opened one of his eyes. "Red."

"I'm sick."

"You're stoned. FUCK!" JC screamed and punch the ground next to him. "Justin, where is it? I want it now."

"I don't have it."

"Where is it?"

Justin shrugged. "Could be in my room, could be on the table, could be in my shorts…" he laughed at the last one but JC didn't find it so funny.

He sat still while JC moved him every which way to see if he was laying on it. He patted him down and finally went for his boxers.

"Heeey!" Justin said and grabbed his waistband. "I'm sick. You shouldn't try to take advantage of me. I'm telling Chris."

JC rolled his eyes. "I'm looking for the Oxy, not sex."

Justin opened an eye again and looked JC up and down. "Sometimes I wonder about you."

"Oh Jesus," JC said but stopped himself from laughing. He knew Justin had done something but he had no solid proof. He sat for a moment and thought before he came up with an idea.

"Where you goin'" Justin said and reached for JC's sleeve. "Don't leave me. Come watch the show and…"

Justin's voice faded off as JC headed up the stairs and into the guest room that Justin was staying in. He did a quick scan for any drugs but saw none before picking up the phone and dialing the number for CVS. It rang a few times before someone picked up. "CVS pharmacy, Donna speaking. Can I help you?"

"Uh yea. This is Josh Chasez, I wanted to know if a Mr. Justin Timberlake stopped by there today."

"Justin? Sure he did. Not too long ago."

"Did he get Oxycontin?"

"I really can't reveal that information."

JC sighed. "Okay, look lady.."

"Donna."

"Donna. I think that my friend took a little too much . medicine and I just want to know what it is. Can you please just tell me if what I'm guessing is wrong or right?"

There was silence on the other line. Donna was probably contemplating whether or not to say anything. "Right," she said at last.

"Thank you. So much," JC said gratefully.

"I'm never doing that again so next time keep an eye out for him okay?"

"I promise."

He hung up the phone and looked around. Justin's clothes and shoes were everywhere and walking in the room was damn near impossible. Nevertheless, in less than four minutes, JC had searched every cubic inch of Justin's room but his efforts were in vain. His hunt had turned up negative. He ran back downstairs to check on his friend who was still sprawled out on the floor. This time he noticed something he hadn't before. Next to Justin was a coffee table with powder on one of the corners.

He leaned down for a closer look and sure enough, it had a bluish tint to it. "80 mg?" JC said to himself. "Shit!" he shouted, purposely disturbing Justin. He bent down, grabbed Justin by the shoulders and pulled him into a sitting position. "What the fuck are you trying to do, kill yourself?!"

"I didn't take Oxy today."

"Oh yeah? What’s this then?" JC said and pointed to the powder. "You crushed it up? You know you're not supposed to do that."

"It's better. It helps more."

"I called the pharmacy, they said you were in today."

"I didn't get nothing."

"Really? They beg to differ."

Justin groaned. "I need it. The doctor says I need it for my ankle. My ankle is broken. I need…it hurts JC. And at least I sleep now."

Justin was almost delirious but JC knew what he was talking about. "The Oxy isn't for your insomnia Justin."

"But it helps."

"Shit. I can't believe you're doing this."

"My ankle is...it hurts, it's broken."

"Yeah I know so how'd you get to CVS?"

"I walk- I went by…I walked."

"You walked on a broken ankle?"

"It wasn't bad."

"On a broken fucking ankle?"

"The Oxy makes it better."

"No it doesn't!"

There was no use trying to reason with him when he wasn't even in his right mind. He'd have to wait until the drugs wore off, whenever that would be. In the meantime JC carried Justin to his room which was rather difficult. Besides getting through to obstacle that was Justin's room, getting the highly medicated youngster up the stairs was a chore. Not only was Justin taller than JC but he was heavier as well. "This will never happen again," JC said, half to himself, half to Justin. He just hoped that he could hold up his promise.

When Justin awoke, he was in his room though he didn’t remember how he’d gotten there. He rubbed his eyes and shook his head. He felt horrible, a feeling he knew would pass in a little while. Oxy after effects, as he called them. His eyes focused for the first time in about 12 hours and he noticed Joey sitting beside his bed. “Hey Joe,” Justin said and smiled.

“Hey J,” Joey answered back. He leaned forward. “J? Why are you doing this to yourself, you know..” Justin moaned and rolled over in bed. “You know what you’re doing is suicide. You need help.”

“I need sleep,” Justin corrected. “I can’t believe you waited here for me to wake up just so you could lecture me.”

“I waited here for you to wake up to make sure you did. You scared the fuck out of us Justin. You scare us every time.”

“It’s just medicine for my ankle.”

“Yes but you have to use it properly. And I heard you walked to CVS?”

“Yeah. So. No one was home.”

“You did it all on purpose. You don’t really want your ankle to heal do you?”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“You want his drug so badly you’re willing to keep your broken ankle so you can keep getting the Oxy.”

“Joey, that is stupid.”

“Stupid is as stupid does.”

“You know what? Fuck off Joe. Just leave me alone. You don’t know what I’m going through and you don’t care so DON’T bother.”

“Justin..”

“Get out!”

In a normal circumstance, Joey would have never let him get away with talking to him like that but he was too concerned to try to show his dominance now.

Lance flipped the page in the book Joey had bought for him called, “So You Want To Be An Astronaut” with a hand written subtitle that read “…and other ludicrous ideas for today’s pop stars.”

Joey soared around the corner and into the kitchen. “How’s J?” Lance asked and closed the book.

“Crazy,” he and said and sat down across from Lance.

“Did you find the Oxy?”

Joey held up a small, half empty brown vile. “Right here.”

“Where was it?”

“In a sock…under the bed, in a box, in the floor.”

“Are you kidding me? He ripped up JC’s floor?”

“Yup.”

“Does JC know?”

“I doubt it.”

Lance took a closer look. “Are you sure this is all he has? It’s half empty and I know he’s crazy with the stuff but do you honestly think he’d take half of the bottle in one night?”

Joey hung his head. “I don’t know. God, he does this every time Chris isn’t around. Well, I mean, it’s never this bad when Chris is here.”

“I know what you mean. When’s he coming back again?”

“Three weeks.”

“Yeah. I was hoping I was wrong.”

Just then, Justin sauntered unto the kitchen, pouting and hungry. Joey and Lance watched as he explored the refrigerator. “Where’s C?” Justin asked with his back to them.

“At the grocery store gettin..”

“Where’s the goddamn milk!” Justin yelled before Joey could finish.

“Milk.”

Justin slammed the refrigerator door shut and leaned against it with his arms folded across his chest. “My ankle fuckin’ HURTS!” he shouted.

“J, take it easy,” Lance said and walked over to his friend. “Calm down.”

“Where’s Chris?”

“Justin, you know he’s in Pennsylvania with his mother.”

“I wanna be in Pennsylvania with my mother!” No one spoke. They all realized how little sense that made but no one quite knew how to react. Justin cracked a smile, “Shut up.”

“We didn’t say anything.” Joey said, finally bursting into all out laughter.

“You know what I mean!”

Lance stopped momentarily. “You know we’re all here for you right?” he asked seriously.

“Yeah, I know.”

“So why do you do this J?”

“It’s my ankle. I swear, the second it gets better I’ll stop. I’m hungry.”
Lance reached into a nearby cupboard and handed him a package of Dunkaroos.

“Don’t make us have to worry about you.”

“I won’t.”

“Justin, why aren’t you on your crutches?” Joey asked from across the room.

“I couldn’t find them. I didn’t put any weight on it though.” Both Joey and Lance were silent. “I’m not trying to sabotage myself, guys come on. I wanna get back to work as much as you guys do. Nothing can happen till Chris gets back anyway.” There was still no response. “Okay listen. I promise that I will be all healed by the time he gets back aiight? I promise. Stop looking at me like that.”

“You mean it?”

“Yes!”

Lance smiled and patted Justin on the shoulder. “I trust you,” he accentuated.

Justin nodded and looked down into the package of Dunkaroos. He could do it, so how come it felt like he couldn’t?

“What’re you talking about?” Johnny inquired and looked at Justin. He was smiling, laughing, joking, acting like he normally would. He showed none of the external signs of substance abuse. “Joe, I think you’re reading a little too much into this.”

Joey sighed in frustration. His surroundings were as pleasant as ever with no reason for Johnny to worry. They were in the studio working on the single voice tracks that afternoon and surprisingly, Justin had been on point all day nailing rift after rift in song after song. He was currently sitting on a stool beside JC with his leg up. As Joey took this all in, he began thinking about what Justin had said the day before about promising his full recovery before Chris’s return. He nodded slightly.

“Joe?” Johnny asked. Joey’s mind snapped back as soon as he heard his name. “You got anything else to say?” He shook his head. “Okay. And Joe? Justin’s a smart kid, nothing’s gonna happen to him okay? Now lets go to the studio, We’ve got stuff we need to discuss.” Johnny led Joey into the studio with his hand planted firmly on his shoulder.

“Guys, where’s Lance?”

“Right there,” JC and Justin said and pointed to the door.

Johnny moved forward to give Lance room to enter then reclaimed his spot in front of them. “Okay. We’ve got TRL on Wednesday and they want you to sing a few unreleased songs. Like one s from way back.”

“Totally unreleased?” JC inquired.

“No, like ones form Europe that never came out over here.”

“Like ‘More than A Feeling?”

“Exactly.” The members of NSYNC nodded. “So which ones do you guys wanna sing?”

“I think we can do ‘More Than A Feeling’” Justin offered up. “How many do they want?”

“Three.”

“What about ‘I’ll Never Stop’?”

After some discussion, they ruled it out saying they wanted to keep the way back theme. After overturning both ‘Riddle’ and ‘Together Again’, they settled on ‘U Drive Me Crazy’ and a song called ‘Here & Now’ from a European film called Widows. Johnny approved their choices and had them sing for him and their musical trainer to see where and if they needed work. They’d call Chris so he could practice his part and they’d put it all together on Wednesday before the show.
Joey couldn’t stop thinking about Justin though. Sure he seemed fine now but who was to say he wouldn’t overdose again? Last night’s OD had been acute but Justin was the type who liked to test his limits and that kind of attitude could be fatal in the kind of business he was dealing in.  Joey silently vowed to keep an omnipresent eye on him during their trip to TRL, he just hoped he could keep his word.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Chris!” Justin shouted and gave his best friend a hug.

“Hey guys,” Chris said and returned it. “We still doing ‘More Than A Feeling, ‘Drive Me Crazy’, and ‘Here & Now’?”

“Yup,” JC confirmed.

“Well then let’s do this. I wanna make sure it sounds all right.”

They got into a circle with Chris next to Justin, next to JC, then Joey, then Lance and back to Chris. JC set the beat and they sang all three a cappella, stopping only once in ‘Here & Now’ where Lance forgot the words to his solo.

“We’re hot,” Lance said and walked out into the hall to MTV’s photo booth. He took Joey and JC with him The time alone would be good for Chris and Justin. Maybe NSYNC’s oldest member could talk some sense into their frontman. It wasn’t often Chris talked sense but…no harm in trying.

“How’s the ankle?” Chris asked Justin and leaned against the green room wall beside him.

“Good.”

“Really or are you just saying that?”

“No I mean it. It’s getting better.”

“It hurt?” Chris asked and nudged Justin’s foot with his toe.

“Kinda. Sometimes more, sometimes less.”

“Right.”

Justin knew what Chris was trying to get at. “I don’t OD,’ he said flat out. “It’s just, it helps me sleep.”

“I know. It helps your insomnia.”

“Yeah.”

“Just be careful.”

“I am.”

Chris patted Justin on the back and looked down at his ankle again.
“Do you think you could go out there without the crutches? I just don’t want our fans to worry. I’ll help you if you need it.”

“Yeah I can walk without them.”

“You sure? I’m not trying to force you.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Great.”

One of the producers for TRL waved for Justin and Chris to join the others in the hall. It was almost time to go on. Confident that Justin would be just fine, Chris led the way, slowly, to the studio.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You hear that?” JC said pointing to Greg, one of their guitarists, “that’s guitar language for ‘shut up’!”

Joey hung his head as the audience erupted into laugher. Carson chuckled. “So you guys have another song for us?” A couple of them nodded. “This one is U Drive Me Crazy?”

“Yeah, this one’s from our Winter Album,” Lance informed.

The crowd cheered as the boys stood up and the band played the intro to the song. It started off good for Justin but somewhere in the middle, his head started reeling, he went in and out of bouts of vertigo, his mouth dried out and he forgot his words. He shook his head but the feeling didn’t clear. Maybe he shouldn’t have taken that hit in the limo before the others got in earlier. Before he could get his head straight, everything went black.

“You’re kidding…” Justin heard someone say over the lull in his own head. “When?”

He recognized the voice as his mothers’ and mentally kicked himself in the ass when he realized that now she knew what was going on. “I am so fucked,” he thought out loud.

“Justin?” his mother said frantically and rubbed his cheek.

“Mommy..” he choked out, hoping for some sympathy. “I’m sorry.”

He could feel the warmth of her tears as she pressed her cheek against his. “My baby,” she said and petted his right hand. The left one had an IV taped into it.

“What happened?” he asked into the air.

Lynn leaned up. “Why don’t you tell us?”

Justin shook his head slowly. “I just took some medicine.”

“Was it this?” she asked and held up the vile Joey had unearthed.

Justin’s jaw clenched. “Who found it? Was it Joey?”

“It doesn’t matter who found it.”

“That’s where it went.” Justin reached for them. “I need it.”

“No you don’t.”

“I do.”

Lynn’s voice broke. “I didn’t want to believe it but, you’re addicted.”

“No I’m not. I need them so I can get better. Please, believe me.”

Lynn’s eyes were red from crying but her condition was about to worsen. “I wish I could.”

“Mom…”

“Justin, we’re sending you to Orangedale Rehabilitation Center. They have a great OTC program there that I know you’ll love. You’ll be with people your age and you can start tomorrow. It’ll be just fine.”

“I don’t need-”

Johnny voice was obtrusive in their conversation. “You don’t have a choice in this Justin. Jive-”

“Fuck Jive.”

“Justin!” His mother reprimanded.

“Fuck you! And you can fuck your career too if you don’t do this.”

“Why would that be?”

“I don’t think you fully comprehend what happened out there today. You passed out, Timberlake. On MTV, on TRL, in front of millions, of people. They’re all going to want to know what happened and I’ll be damned if I have to say that one of the most famous pop stars in the world overdosed on pain killers. Do you know what they call what you did? Career suicide, except everyone on your under ticket goes down with you. Your friends, your co-workers, your fans, everyone. S what did I have to do?  Lie and say you collapsed out of fatigue.  Make myself look like the bad guy.  But I did what I had to do so save your ass cause I want to keep my job. Whether or not you do is the question.”

Justin was speechless.   “How long?” he asked timorously.

“Two weeks,” Lynn whispered.

“TWO WEEKS?!”

Johnny's eyes were still ablaze.  “You’re lucky it’s only that. Most offenders get four times that but we need you back before Chris’s vacation is over.”

Lynn looked at her son. “Honey, please go. If not for yourself then for me.”

“Fine,” Justin said and picked at the tape that bound the IV to his skin.

Chris knocked on the door to Justin’s hospital room which was slightly ajar, and poked his head in. “Can I have a minute…alone?” he asked.
Both Lynn and Johnny agreed and left the two NSYNCers to their own.

“Chris, I …” Justin began.

“You’ve done enough talking. Full of empty promises but you know what I realized? Empty promises aren’t empty at all. They’re full of shit and so are you.” Justin attempted to speak again. “I’m not done! What happened out there was ridiculous. You looked like an ass and you made all of us look the same way.” He took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair. “For the first time ever, I was ashamed to be a part of NSYNC. Truly ashamed. How could you do this?”

This time Justin was allowed to comment. “I am soooo sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. How will I ever be able to make this up to you guys?”

“Admit you have a problem.”

“A problem?”

“You’re a druggie.” Justin’s eyes shot open. “Ya heard. I’m not gonna sugar coat it. It’s a fact, you’re addicted. Admit that.”

“Fine, I’m addicted.”

“Mean it.”

“I’m addicted Chris.” The look in Justin’s hazy blue eyes deepened as he realized hat what he’d just said was true. “Oh my God Chris, I’m addicted.” Tears pooled in his eyes…or maybe they were just watering. Justin couldn’t tell anymore and that scared him more than anything else. “How did this happen?”

“Just like everything, it took time. Remember the first time you had Oxy?”

“Yeah.  Back in ’99 when I bruised my rib.”

“Right now can you think of a time since then that you haven’t been taking it?”

“No.”

Chris nodded and bit his bottom lip. “This is my fault though. It was all so fucking obvious. I should have done something.”

“It’s not your fault. It’s my fault. I screwed up but I’m gonna make this better. I’m gonna do the two weeks in rehab and when I come back, no more Oxy.”

“Mean it?”

“Swear it.”

Chris smiled. “That’s the Justin I know.”

The doctor stood by the doorway, noting that the time had come for Chris to leave. He gave Justin a pat on the shoulder and exited the room. Justin had to get his rest, he’d be starting rehab in the morning.

"What?!" Justin exclaimed the next day.

"It's against the rules. No drugs of any kind. You're a substance abuser now Mr. Timberlake."

"What about my ankle?"

"Tough luck."

Justin had only been at Orangedale for 20 minutes and already he was counting the days until he could leave.

He looked down at the clothes they had given him to wear. They almost looked like gray scrubs but there was something a little more pajama-esque about them. He followed the nurse further into the institution, passing large meeting spaces, a cafeteria and a game room in the process. Everyone took their time to watch as Justin passed and everything became deafeningly silent. Soon the only noise was the squeak of his crutches on the linoleum floor.

"Oh," the nurse said as they rounded a corner. "Don't worry about getting harassed here. We've spoken with everyone and prepared them accordingly."

"Thank you," Justin said in lack of anything else.

The nurse stopped in front of a closed door and put her hand on the doorknob. "This is your room. You'll be sharing it with one of our other P squareds."

"What's a P squared?"

"A pill popper. You'd better put your stuff away, you have your first meeting in 45 minutes."

Before he even had time to let her information settle, she was gone.

"Hard to find good help these days," he said to himself and made a joke of it. He had a feeling he'd have to do that an awful lot in the next two weeks. "Two weeks, 14 days," Justin said to himself and pushed the door open. "A fortnight." He snickered. "I can do this."

He rolled his bag into the room behind him and looked around. Rather spacious, he had to admit. Desk, dresser, and he assumed that the door to his right was a bathroom? He opened it. It was. He faced the room again but to his surprise there was someone else there. The boy was Justin's height and build but a little bit tanner and not nearly as handsome. He was also standing a mere two inches away.

Uncomfortably close in Justin's opinion. "Hi, I'm Justin," he said.

"I know who you are."

"Okay, sorry." The boy didn't move. "Do you mind backing up a little..uh, what's your name?"

"Corky," the bleach blonde informed.

Justin smiled, "Like the guy from Life Goes On?"

His roommate wasn't amused. "If one more person mentions that show." Corky moved back a few steps and sat down on the bed closest to the door.

"I assume this one's mine?" Justin asked pointing to the right-hand bed.

"No, I'm just sitting on this one 'cause I'm a jackass," Corky said sardonically.

Justin raised his eyebrows and let out a breath. "All right." He leaned his bag up against the bed and sat on it, bouncing twice to test its' firmness.

"Too hard for you princess?" Corky snorted.

"Actually, it's just like the one I have a home, thanks."

Justin looked at his watch. Thirty minutes until his first session. That was more than enough time to take a nap. He set his watch for 25 minutes and made sure Corky had left before falling asleep. There was something strange about him and Justin's wasn't looking to find out what it was.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"This is all of us," the thin brunette volunteer said. He had an usually high voice for a man and his glasses seemed to be two sizes too big for his face. Now that you mentioned it, so was everything he wore.

"Everybody. This is our new group mate Justin. Or, maybe we can help him feel more at home if we say 'bandmate'."

"Oh God No," Justin thought and smiled sheepishly.

"Why don't we all introduce ourselves. I'm Mr. Atlas. You can just call me Atlas, makes me feel strong. I'm king of the world!" He laughed but wasn't joined by any of the patients. "Yes well, we know who I am so why don't we start with you Bryan."

He looked to the short boy to his right and nudged him. "Um, I'm
Bryan Young."

"Sean Miranda," said the Hispanic guy in next to him.

"Terrence Haylon," the next one said.

"Jenna Davis." Jenna was the last one and also the only girl.

The obviously homosexual volunteer Atlas clapped his hands in delight. "Great! So since Justin is new here, why don't we get to know him. Ask him some questions. Let's go."

"I'll start," Terrence said with a smirk. "What's it like fucking Britney Spears?"

The three guys all snickered. "I wouldn't know," Justin replied and waited for the next question.

"Oh come on Justin, you can't say you've never fucked her."

Atlas intervened, "Keep it clean!" he clarified and ended current discussion.

"Sorry man, sorry." An empty apology, Justin could always tell.

Sean was the next to speak. "What's it like fucking the rest of NSYNC?"

This caused a whole new wave of laughter. "Inappropriate!" Atlas exclaimed. "If you guys don't cut it out I'll report you." Atlas said. The three boys canned their laughed but a few chuckles and grins crept out here and there.

"I'll start," Atlas said. "Okay Justin, what do you love most about your profession?"

"Performing. I like to see the crowd get into our songs. I love it when I hold out the microphone and they're singing along with us. It lets me know that what we're saying isn't lost on everyone else. It shows they're really out there listening and really into what we're trying to say and that they know what we're all about. I just like to see them getting into us. "

"If I were you, I'd like to see me getting into them if you know what I mean." Sean said, "Seriously Justin, are you really a virgin?"

"No. I've had sex, just not with Britney. Could we not talk about this?"

"I agree," Atlas chimed. "No more sex questions or comments. Anything good to ask?"

Jenna spoke up. "I've got a serious question. If your life was so perfect, why would you ever risk screwing it up?"

"I never said my life was perfect. It's not, no ones is."

"Man that's bull shit," Terrence commented.

Atlas perked up. "Okay, this is good. Why do you think that's bull shit?"

"'Cause he's so damn rich. He's got everything a guy could ever want," he looked to Justin, "Dudes look at you and just give up. They do drugs and drink and stuff because they don't want to face the face that they'll never be like you."

"Why would you wanna be?" Justin asked incredulously.

"Well fuck, all the girls want you. You're rich, you're famous...if I go on I'm gonna hit you. I don't get it. Why would you…where'd…uh. Nevermind."

Justin looked at Atlas, not sure of what to say almost begging the person in charge to bail him out. No such help manifested itself. "My life isn't all red carpets and Grammy's and after parties. That's just a thing we have to do. People forget that singing is my job and all of the stuff that goes with it like photo shoots and stuff, that's all superfluous. It's like working overtime."

"How can you compare what you're doing to overtime?"

"It is! That's the music business. That's showbiz. That's what it's like to be famous. It's not all peaches and creme."

"What about Britney." Sean asked.

"What about Britney?"

"Do you really date her or is it just for show?"

"I really date her. Well, I did."

"What happened?"

"I don't really wanna talk about it."

The group was quiet. Atlas assumed there were no more questions and decided to move on. The whole thing had left Justin feeling very stressed on top of the pain that was pulsating through his ankle so he plopped down on his bed as soon as he entered his room. He rolled onto his back and tired not to think about his day or his pain or anything. He felt sick to his stomach and his body ached. This must be the beginnings of Oxy withdrawal. He was certain it wouldn't be the end.

Justin was five days into his stay at Orangedale and still, not a friend. Not even a friendly face. As a matter of fact, it was almost as though people were getting meaner by each growing hour. Speaking of hour, it was six o’clock now which meant it was time for dinner. Justin put down his guitar and placed it gingerly on the floor next to his bed. The side farthest away from Corky. He’d figured that if the two weeks was going to be as abysmal as he predicted it to be, he’d might as well work on a song while he was here. You know, make himself useful. The truth was, in less than 8 days he’d be out of there, back to his normal life and these kids would still be imprisoned. He found it hard though, to sympathize for them considering they hadn’t done so for him.

Looking around for his crutches posed another problem. They were nowhere to be found. He crawled on the floor, looking underneath the furniture and still, no sign of them. How could someone lose two 5 foot 4 inch pieces of titanium?

“Looking for something?” Justin heard Corky say.

He straightened up . “Just my crutches. Have you seem them?”

“What would I want with your crutches?”

“Nothing, I just wanted to know if you’d seen the-“

“I haven’t. It’s time for dinner, so unless you want to get chewed out you’d better hurry. We only have 10 minutes to get here and we’ve already wasted 5.”

“I can’t go without my crutches, I can’t walk on my ankle.”

“Shame,” Corky said and turned his back to Justin. “4: 20 and counting Pop Star, hope you can hobble over in time.”

“Corky..” Justin yelled but it was too late. His only hope of assistance was already on his way to the cafeteria. Cursing and swearing, Justin made his way to the eating area with no physical aid. A few patients had tried to trip him on the way but none were successful.

Justin took a seat at the table he’d been occupying alone for the past 5 days, opened the carton of milk he’d gotten and threw a straw in.

It wasn’t often that Justin listened to other peoples conversations but this one peaked his interest. Sitting with their backs to him were Sean, Bryan and Terrence. He was surprised Terrence was even allowed there anymore. Last night he’d gotten into a fight with a caffeine addict and damn near knock all of his teeth out. Orangedale had a strict no tolerance violence policy but they knew how irascible and pugnacious Terrence was so they just decided to add Anger Management to his curriculum.  Justin shook his head and dug into the calzone as he eavesdropped on the boys.

“It’s not even that,” Terrence said. “No, I…” he looked around but failed to check behind him. “I like NSYNC. Well, I don’t have a problem with them. They seem a little fruity but you know. I just think he’s stupid for even taking whatever it is he took.”

“I know, like, dude, why would you even risk it?” Bryan agreed.

“Exactly. He’s such a dumbass.”

“I head that he lost Britney because of it,” Sean informed.

“Is that what happened? He mentioned that they weren’t together.”

“Yea I know.”

There was silence for a moment before Terrence spoke. ”I swear, everyday I see his face I feel like punching him.”

“I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”

“And he only has to stay here for two weeks?!”

“I know!” Bryan exclaimed. “What’s that shit about? If he weren’t who he is, he’d have just as much time as us.”

“He makes me sick,” Sean confessed.

“It’s no wonder he’s got no friends here. Everyone else realizes how spoiled he must be to take his life for granted.”

“I know, I’d kill to live like that.”

“No doubt.”

A voice rang loud and clear in the dull air of the cafeteria and their conversation was cut short. “Hello everyone,” a rehab volunteer proclaimed. “I hope you’re enjoying your dinner and I’m sorry to interrupt but I just had a little announcement. We’re going to be having a talent show for all impatiens, that will be next Wednesday. Not tomorrow but the week after that. We’re hoping all of you can get involved so if you would like to participate please contact your group volunteer and they’ll sign you up. Okay that’s it so have a nice night.”
As soon as it was over, conversation in the cafeteria resumed but not that of Terrence, Bryan and Sean. Justin took a quick glance over his shoulder to find they’d gotten up and were now leaving the area. He sighed and finished off his calzone. He wanted so badly to be in that talent show, he’d blow everyone out of the water. That thought made him smile but his joy was abbreviated by the arrival of Corky at his table.

“I know what you’re thinking Pop Star and if you enter that contest, I will see to it that you don’t walk out of here in a week. With crutches…or without.”

Was he dreaming or had he just been threatened? He looked around to see if anyone had caught that, everyone turned their back to him.

“Shit,” he whispered to himself and grabbed his trash. He hopped as quickly as he could to his room. He prayed Corky wouldn’t be there but those prayers went unanswered. Corky sat on his bed cross legged.

“What’s wrong Pop Star? Still haven’t found your metal helpers? I think your friends have seen ‘em. Up close.”

Justin noticed a computer generated picture laying on his pillow. He hopped over to it as fast as he could and picked it up. Staring back at him was a digitally edited picture of Terrence, Bryan and Sean holding his crutches. Lance and JC were pinned to the ground by the armrest of the crutch, naked. They obviously weren’t real pictures but the faces were. Justin’s jaw clenched as he crumpled the picture into a ball. It took him a second to notice but Lance and JC’s facial expressions in the picture looked awfully familiar. His eyes widened and he threw himself across his bed to pick up the album he had hidden underneath it. Sure enough, those bastards had cut the picture of them out of his album to use for their personal perverted amusement.

“SON OF A BITCH!” Justin yelled.

Corky laughed. “Problem?”

Justin was so mad he didn’t know what to do. He grabbed his leather jacket and ran out the door not even caring about the damage he could be doing to his ankle. Don’t bother trying to find more of them..” Corky shouted after him. “Everyone’s already seen this mint on their pillows!”

Corky’s satanic cackle echoed in Justin’s head as he went down the hall with only one objective in mind.

Justin had been staring at the small brown vile for four hours now. He’d managed to sneak some Oxy in by slitting a hole in his jacket and stuffing it deep into the seam. He’d meant for it to be for emergencies only but with all of what had been going on, on top of the withdrawal…things seemed too hard to bear. He’d come to the basement bathroom to get toked but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He swore into the air and got up from the bathroom floor. Placing the vile inside his jacket, he headed back upstairs, making sure no one saw where his hiding place was.

As for the picture, well, normally he would have found those bastards and fucked them up but he’d already screwed up enough for one lifetime. He wasn’t going to get into a fight and let his group down again. Besides, these four hours had been a great time to re-center himself. New attitude, new goals, etc. There was only two days before the week was over and he got to see his family on visiting day. He’d gone seven days without Oxy and gotten through the first four levels of hell in the process and he’d be damned if he didn’t get through the last three.

It was 12:30 when he got back to his room. 12:30 equaled after lights out so he made sure to be quiet when opening the door. “Sneaking around after hours Pop Star?” Corky said smugly.

“Fuck off Corky. I’m not in the mood,” Justin said and shrugged his coat off.

“That picture didn’t really bother you did it? Aww. Poor baby. Well I’m sure you had a nice long cry.”

“Corky,” Justin said and climbed into bed. “I said fuck off. That includes being quiet, minding ya bidness and shutting the FUCK up.”
He covered himself up with the sheet and moved his ankle so it wouldn’t kill quite so much. He smiled to himself. “Minding ya bidness”, he hadn’t talked like that in years and to relapse into that felt weird. He shook his mind of it and a few minutes later, fell into a dreamless sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The strings on Justin’s guitar sent a lazy A chord ringing through the room as he waited for his friends and family to arrive. He wanted to play the song he’d been working on for them but they had to show up first. The clock on the wall read 2:45. Even if they showed up that second he’d only have 15 minutes with them. He strummed another A chord to replace the other one that had faded away.
Justin’s face lit up when he spotted JC leading everyone through the common room door. It took a second for them to locate him but as soon as they did, it was on. “JUSTIN!” JC said and gave his friend a one handed hug. “How are ya?”

Justin gave him a look for distress. “Let’s just say the name of the song I’ve been working on is S-O-S.”

JC laughed. “That good?”

They all sat down surround him. Lance, Joey, JC and Lynn were all there. “No Brit?” he asked softly and allowed his smiled to fade a bit.
Lynn rubbed his knee. “We tried honey but…well I’m sure you understand how she feels.”

He took a breath. “Yea.”

“If it matters J, she wrote you a letter,” Joey said and handed him a pale pink envelope. Characteristic of Britney.

“Thanks Joe.”

Justin shook his head and mind of Britney, at least for the time being. He didn’t want her to see him this way anyhow.

“So, you wrote a song?” Lance asked, trying to loosen the mood.

“Yup.”

“Well ja’mon then,” JC voiced, doing his best impression of Chris Tucker.

“Well it’s not done yet but it’s called ‘Faithful’.

He began his song, putting everything, all of the emotions that had been held up during the past week into the words and at the songs climax, he stopped, opening his eyes. “That’s all I have.”

“That’s great so far,” Lynn said and applauded him silently.

He hadn’t noticed before but, a good amount of people had congregated around his party. “I’m sorry,” Justin said sheepish. “I didn’t mean to disturb you guys.” He leaned to Lance, “ They hate me so much,” he whispered.

“They do not.”

A mother spoke up. “No, it was great.” Upon further inspection she realized who he was. “Oh!” she said, a little louder than she’d wanted to. “Can you hold on?”

“I’m not going anywhere…”

A few minutes later she came back with her daughter who couldn’t have been older than eight years old. “Would you mind signing an autograph? It’s so nice of you guys to come and sing for these kids, it’s so hard breaking yourself of an addiction, I’m sure they need a little music in here.”

Justin blushed. “Well actually…”

“Visiting hour is over.” A volunteer announced. Justin scribbled his name on a sheet of paper along with Joey, JC and Lance and kissed his mother goodbye. One hour hadn’t been nearly enough, especially since they hadn’t been there for the whole thing. He sighed and gathered his things. He could almost smell the skin on his back singe from all of the hot glares he received from other inpatients as he made his way quickly back to his room. He couldn’t wait to read Britney’s letter.
As soon as he’d returned his guitar to it’s semi-hiding place, he broke the seal on the pink envelope that held Britney’s message.

“Stinky,” he read and broke into a wide smile.

“I heard about what happened and I’m so sorry.
I don’t want to sound like a bitch when I say this but I knew this was going to happen.
I love you dearly J but you realize that when I am with you, I feel like a third wheel.
It’s you, your drugs and me.
But the really screwed up part is that I don’t know which you’re happier to be with.
I hope that the program will help you overcome your addiction.
I know you wanted me to come visit but the truth is, I don’t know if I would have survived seeing you.
You’ve been my protector, my best friend and my stronghold since we met and to see something as small as a pill break you would rip my heart to shreds.
I hope you can understand.
I love you and we’ll see, after rehab, where and if our relationship stands.
Always and forever, Pinky.”

Not the exact words Justin had wanted, or expected to read , however, her message didn’t surprise him. Justin reached for his album and brought it to his lap. He opened it to the section he’d designated for pictures of him and Britney. And soaked her in until he felt his heart would explode. His favorite picture was on of them in Hawaii. They were ankle deep in the clear waters of the Pacific Ocean just looking into each other’s eyes, knowing that they were meant for each other. That statement still held true for him but he wasn’t so sure if Britney still felt the same way. He sighed, leaned back on his bed and laid the album across his chest. He had kind of been expecting the letter to say something to this effect and had prepared for it; so, why did it hurt so badly?

Justin had been playing the guitar for five hours now and his fingertips were damn near worn to the bone. He didn't bother going to breakfast anymore since the other day when Sean and Bryan had put ammonia in his orange juice. Luckily, he hadn't drank much of it but his stomach was still queasy from the chemicals. He struck a few more chords then stopped to write them down. Now to put words to it.

He closed his eyes and let his heart do the rest. He remained frozen that way for a good three minutes before opening his eyes to write down what he'd come up with. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a lock of long , brown hair and a few fingertips holding onto the door jam. He put his hand over the strings to stop their vibrations. "Hello?" he said craning his next to see who was at his door. The hand disappeared. "Wait no," Justin said and put his guitar on Corky's bed. He limped over to the door only to end up face to face with the brunette he'd caught of a glimpse of. She looked familiar.

"I'm sorry," he said and took a step back, "I thought you left."

"Why? It's obvious you didn't want me to."

He recognized her now. "Jenna.." Justin said, confused. "What."

"What am I doing here?"

"Yeah."

"I heard you playing and I wanted to hear more."

"You mean, you don't hate me?"

"Not completely. But, don't take that the wrong way either. Just because I don't hate you doesn't meant I like you. Got it?" Justin nodded, more than happy. At least he'd gotten someone to talk to him. "Can, I come in?"

"Uh...sure."

"Thanks," Jenna said and slid her way past Justin's broad shoulders.

He reclaimed his guitar and sat besides Jenna on his bed. "I just want you to know, I'm not like those other little girls. Always winking and giggling.."

Winking and giggling? Why hadn't Justin noticed any of this before?

"Well, they can wink and giggle all they want. I'm wonderfully spoken for."

"Really.." Jenna said with a sly smile, "that's not what I heard."

Justin frowned. "Yeah I know. Brit...she's, we're not on the best terms right now. She loves me though, I know she does."

There was silence for a moment. "You know Justin, you're not as much of a jackass as I thought you were."

He looked at her in disbelief. "What?"

She smiled. "Not used to hearing that kind of thing are you?"

"Not really, no."

"Yeah. You're nose is kinda big but, you're a good person. And I like your hair, it's cute. When you have hair."

"Thanks. I don't like it though. There's too much of it."

"Same here. I wanna cut it but since they don't let us have scissors in here..."

"See? That's something we have in common. I'm not so much unlike you guys."

"Nope."

"Then why does everyone hate me so much?"

"Jealously. I mean God Justin, look at you."

He surveyed himself. "What?" He didn't see a difference between his body and that of any other guy. He admitted, normally he was little more defined than others but the withdrawal had left him thin and flabby, especially since he wasn't able to work out. He'd been doing push ups but the weakness that was accompanying the ammonia had taken it's toll.

Jenna shook her head. "Nevermind. Bottom line, they're just trying to clip your wings, hold you down. It's a shame too because from what I can see, they've succeeded."

"Whatever, I'm gonna be out of here soon enough."

"So you're basically running away? What would you do if you had to stay here for four months like everyone else? Would you still run away from everything?"

Justin shrugged. "I don't know. I've never had to deal with that."

"Think about it and get back to me but now we have to get to OTC group."  Jenna stood up but Justin held her from advancing toward the door.

"So what does this mean?" he asked sincerely. "What happens when we get to dinner tonight? It's easy to be friends in here but, are we friends out there?"

"You're really searching aren't you?" Justin nodded. "We'll see," she said and walked out the door. "You comin'?" she asked and poked her head back in.

He laid his guitar down and followed her. He couldn't help himself from looking forward to dinner that night. It seemed as though his luck was starting to change.

It was 20 minutes into dinner and still no sign of Jenna. Justin was mentally kicking himself in the ass for ever believing that she'd actually be anything more than a fair-weather friend to him. He twirled spaghetti around his fork a few more times and looked up. No Jenna.

"Forget it," he told himself and rose to throw his trash away.
That moment, his one and only acquaintance came sprinting into the cafeteria, panting and looking frantically around. He clenched his jaw and made a bee line for the door. "JUSTIN!" she shouted and headed for him. He picked up his pace. She sure had gone out of her way to humiliate him. He'd never felt dumber. "Justin wait!" he heard her again but pushed the eating hall door open. Damn his ankle for slowing him down.

She caught up to him and grabbed a hold of one of his arms. He wrenched it away. "Justin, what's wrong with you," she asked, winded. He didn't respond and kept walking. Finally, she leapt in front of him, stopping his progression with her body. Her eyes were riddled with confusion and her cheeks were a rosy pink, almost identical to the color of Britney's envelope. "Justin, I'm sorry I'm late but I was busy."

"Doing what? Laughing at how dumb I am to have thought we'd be friends?"

"If we weren't friend, would I have run after you? Would I have apologized? Would I have even bothered coming at all?" Justin looked away but his face softened. "I truly am sorry but I have something to show you. I know…this is why I was late." She grabbed Justin's hand and started on her way but Justin wouldn't budge. "What,what are you doing? Come on."

"If this is some kind of joke then don't tell it," he pleaded.

"No, I swear, this, I'm legit. Please, just come."

"Why are we in such a hurry?"

"I'm excited. I really want you to see it! Please." Justin didn't have a good feeling about all of this but he allowed Jenna to lead him back to her room. "Tara, get out!" she yelled to her roommate as soon as they got there.

"Why?" the youngin inquired.

Justin found out as soon as he came into full view. The short redhead screamed like someone had just killed her momma though Justin knew it was for him. "Oh God. Wait out here," Jenna said. Placing her palms flat on his chest, she pushed him just outside the door. Justin could hear the two girls talking on the other side of the door. One was calm and quiet, Jenna, and one was extremely fast and excited, Tara. The way Jenna's roommate sounded reminded him of Six from the old sitcom 'Blossom', but much more excitable. Not…that…he watched that show or anything.

A few minutes later Tara walked out of the room, heading for the common area with her hands over her face, probably to make sure she wouldn't freak out again. Jenna opened the door next and flashed him a smile, "Enter," she recited.

Justin smiled back and obeyed. "Close your eyes," Jenna instructed and grabbed his hand.

"Jenna." he said and took hesitant baby steps toward their destination.

"Justin, don't worry." She placed his hand over something slim and cold. "This is it. Don't open your eyes yet. Try to guess."

Justin didn't have to think too hard. Her gift was something of his that he'd grown quite attached to before having it stolen. "My crutches?" he asked although he knew. She giggled and told him he could open his eyes. Sure enough, he'd been right, He looked at her with gratitude.

"How'd, where'd you find them?"

"I basically had to fight Corky for them."

"Corky had them?"

"The whole time."

A new wave of anger hit Justin but it was short lived, he DID have a friend here. "Thank you so much," he said and gave her a hug. It felt good to show some affection for someone and have them reciprocate. That hadn't happened with anyone at the clinic so far.

Jenna hopped onto her bed and sat Indian style facing Justin who had taken a seat at her desk. "So how's your song going?" she asked jovially.

"Well I'm almost done. I just need to finish it. Just a couple more stanzas."

Jenna cocked her head to the side. "Wow, you have an accent. I never noticed."

"Of course girl, I'm from Tennessee."

"I know, I know but it's funny I never realized."

"It only comes out heavy when I'm being myself. Like, I can't be nervous or anything."

"Really? I'm honored then."

"Yeah, I'm kinda shy most of the time."

"You?!"

"Heck yea. I don't talk much at all."

"Well, no but I figured it was only because the guys don't like you."

"No, there are plenty of guys I meet that don't like me but never any like the ones here. They're just…cruel."

"Just try to ignore them."

"Kinda tough. Just a little bit though," he said sarcastically.

Jenna rubbed Justin's hand, "It's okay, you'll get through it. Like you said, you're outta here soon. You'll be gone."

"Ha, gone. I can't even hear that word the same anymore."

"I know what you mean. That was a hot video, just wanted you to know."

"Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. We enjoyed making it."

"Justin, turn off the automated responses, you're not on MTV."

Justin smiled to himself. I guess what he'd just said was a little run of the mill. "Sorry."

"So what are you doing about the talent show?"

"Ha! Nothing. I don't feel like being crippled for the rest of my life."

"Who said that?"

"Corky."

"Oh God, don't let him scare you."

"Too late. My legs are too important to fuck around with."

"No, don't mind him. You're great. You know you are, the whole world knows you are. You'll bury all the competition."

Justin didn't want to sound conceded but it was true. He was 10 times better than all of those people. "Let me sleep on it," he offered.
Jenna agreed, "Fair enough."

"Well, I'm gonna get going," Justin said and rose to his feet. He looked down at his newly recovered crutches. "Hey Jenna, mind if I keep these over here in your room? I don't want Corky getting a hold of them again."

"So how will you get around?"

"It's not that far to my room and I'll just pick them up in the morning and drop them off at night."

Jenna grinned, she knew exactly what Justin was up to and it was a smooth game he was running, she had to admit. She looked into his sea blue eyes and matched his smiled. "Sure, whatever you need."

"Great. I'll see you then."

"Definitely."

With that, Justin made his way out the door and around the corner to his corridor. He'd though of the perfect excuse to see her during the day. First thing in the morning and last thing at night. He smiled to himself and opened the door to his room. There wasn't much that could stop him now.

Jenna's melodious laugh rang through the courtyard as they finished up their lunch. They'd just gotten out of OTC group and had stopped in the cafeteria for food on their way the octagonal shaped green that separated the male and female living quarters. A few days had passed and Justin had decided to enter the talent show after all but he wasn't sure exactly what he was going to do. Jenna had been trying her hardest to help him but nothing seemed to be working.

"Yea that was so embarrassing," Justin said in between bites.

"I wish I coulda seen that."

"You probably will whenever it airs."

"If they air that part."

"They will. The producers at MTV don't like saving us from humiliation."

"Well, it really is too funny to leave out."

"The crew was laughing and everything. Man, that was fun."

Their laughter died down a bit and Jenna looked down at her feet.
"Man I need a pedicure."

Justin followed her gaze. "No you don't, your toes are fine."

"I'm just used to high maintenance. My dad owns an oil company back home and I usually get a full make-over weekly."

"Where's back home?"

"Texas, San Antonio if you want specifics."

"Really? You don't have an accent."

"Oh God no, I grew up in Cali, San Fran. And when I was about 14, we moved and that's when I started doing drugs. I missed my friends and I figured that either they would make up for my friends or that once my parents found out, they'd send me back. It took them five years to do that much."

"Wow."

"Yeah and what's worse is that my mom works at the Ad company that does the anti-drug spots."

"We did a few of those."

"She basically came up with the whole idea."

"Wow, I bet she was pissed when she found out about your addiction."

"That was the point, I was kinda getting back at them."

"So why'd you come all the way to Orangedale to do rehab?"

"I wanted to. I love Florida. So I said I wouldn't cooperate if they didn't send me here."

"Oh. Do you regret it?"

"Not one bit. After all, if hadn't I would never have met you."

Justin froze and looked into her warm brown eyes, not sure what to think. "I guess not. I'm glad we're friends too." His accent had faded into nothing but Jenna didn't seem to notice.

"You're a really incredible guy Justin. I've been looking for a guy like you since…I hit puberty?"

Justin looked at his hands, fidgeting with them uncomfortably. "Um Jenna.."

"Yeah?"

"You're a nice girl."

"Justin."

"Huh."

"It's okay. I wasn't trying to come on to you but I understand if it sounded that way."

"You sure?"

"Yes!" she said.

"Oh. I'm sorry. I.."

"No need to apologize. So have you decided what you're going to perform for the talent show? Are you gonna do the new song?"

"I don't know yet. I'm so...I'm torn." his accent was back.

"Torn between what?"

"I wanna do , well, I wanna do a ballad, I know that."

"Why?"

"'Cause if I don't then I'll have to dance and I can't with my ankle all fucked up."

"No one says you have to dance."

"I know but I love dancing too much if I hear the beat, it'll drive me crazy so I'll just do a slow song."

"Do 'Gone'."

"Like hell. "

"Ok. Well, what were you thinking of?"

"I'm not sure. I've got a songbook with me but it's in my room. Wanna help me out?"

"Thought that's what I was doing."

"J'mon then!" Justin said, imitating JC's newest favorite phrase. It was a good thing JC wasn't there to hear him using it, he'd done a better job than JC ever had.

It took Justin a little while to get himself into a standing position but with some help from Jenna, he was ready to move. As they exited the courtyard and turned the corner, they heard loud music coming from a nearby room. It sounded so excited. "Pop."

"Oh God," Justin said and walked a little faster.

Jenna held him back. "No, no it's cool. Let's go see who's playin' it."

"Let's not."

"Oh come on. What'll it hurt?"

Jenna dragged Justin to the second door at the beginning of the hall and knocked. Justin looked away as he heard the music cut off and footsteps grow nearer. Finally the door opened. "Well, well, well. He walks among us," Terrence said and grinned.

"What are the fuckin' odds," Justin whispered to himself.

"You were playing NSYNC?" Jenna asked, incredulous.

"Of course. It's our song for the talent show. Didn't you know?" Terrence said and stared at Justin.

Justin stared back. "Just leave it alone," he growled.

"Leave what alone?"

"The song, NSYNC. It's my work. It's what I love and I don't want you fucking with it."

" But we're really big fans."

"Yea, we like boy bands," Sean said, coming to the door.

"Then do…’I Want It That Way’ or I don't really give a damn. Just leave our songs alone."

Terrence smiled, "You think we're gonna screw it up huh? No, check it out. Look at what we've got so far."

Justin attempted to leave but Jenna still had his sleeve. "Let's just watch," she said absently.

The song restarted and the three boys got into their starting positions. Terrence was in front and Sean and Bryan were a littler further back on either side. They mouthed the words to the song as they danced. "What? This doesn't look anything like the 'Pop' dance. What the hell are you trying to do?" Justin said somewhere in the middle of the second chorus. The boys stopped dancing.

"Well, we don't have a tape to go by or anything and we've only seen the video a few times."

"We've performed it a billion times."

"..and?"

"If you don't know the moves then just do different song."

"Ok, how about Bye times three?"

"Bye, Bye, Bye. Don't call it Bye times three."

"What's wrong with you today Pop Star? Huh? Why are you being so bitchy?"

"Because, I don't mind. I can handle being disliked, I can handle when I'm the butt of mean jokes and pranks but I can't take people disrespecting what I do. That goes for my work, and the people I work with. They're my best friends and if 'Pop' were just my song, I'd suck it up but I'm not going to let you make a mockery of what we all worked hard for."

"We're not trying to mock you, we wanna win."

The smirk on their faces after Justin's harangue didn't relay that feeling and finally, Jenna let Justin lead her away. "I'm sorry Justin," she said on the way to his room. His jaw was clenched in frustration and anger and his grip was tight around her wrist. Justin kept walking with no reply. "J, I know I made you stay and I'm sorry but I thought maybe they'd changed."

He stopped dead, seemingly angered but soon started up again and loosened his grip a bit. "Get out," he told Corky once they arrived at Justin's dormitory.

Corky laughed out loud. "You've got to be-"

"OUT!" Justin yelled, his eyes aflame.

It wasn't that Corky was afraid of the pop star but from the way he was acting he figured Justin had finally snapped and he wasn't sure what the girl was doing there but he didn't really wanna stick around to find out.

Jenna watched with a growing smile as Corky vacated the area. "Oh my God Justin, you did it! You quit letting Corky boss you aro-" Before she could finish her sentence, Justin pressed his body hard against hers. She opened her mouth in protest.

"Don't speak," he said, suddenly having the urge to grab and orange and start posing with it. "I have a question to ask you." he paused while he gathered his thoughts. "If I kissed you right now would you keep it a secret?"

Jenna blushed pink. "Um, if you wanted me to, yeah I guess I could."

"Forever?"

"Forever? Forever as in never tell anyone ?"

"Yes."

"Why would I have to keep it a secret f..oh no. No Justin."

"Please."

"No I'm not going to be your rebound. You want to be with me until you get out of here and fix things with Britney right?"

"No. I just wanna kiss you."

"Why?"

"'Cause, well, just now when you called me J, you sounded just like her."

"So when you kiss me, you'll really be thinking of Britney Spears? As if I didn't get that enough from the boys back home..." Jenna pushed herself away.

"No, it's not like that at all," he said and followed her. She made a bee line for the door with Justin hot, ok, lukewarm on her tail. He reached out for her elbow and at the last moment, before he could get a word in she stopped and pressed her lips firmly against his. It was as much of a surprise to her as it was to him. It was a true spur of the moment thing and she wasn't sure where she should go with it. So far, it wasn't too long, wasn't too short but you'd better believe it was subliminal. She pulled away slowly, unsure of what Justin's reaction would be. It took him a while to open his eyes.

"Justin?" Jenna asked hesitantly.

"Why'd…you do that?" he asked softly.

"I'm sorry. I figured if I caught you off guard, you wouldn't have time to think of Britney and instead you'd, well, you'd think of me."

To Jenna's relief, Justin's accent had not faded. "Call me J, " he begged, "Please."

"No. I'm not going to be a space filler."

"You're not."

"I am. I can tell by the way you kiss. There's no feeling there. I mean. I don't expect there to be but, you already said that I sound like-"

This time it was Justin's turn to surprise his friend with a kiss. His tongue wasn't obtrusive or aggressive at all and it felt as though it belonged with hers; like they'd kissed a billion times before.

"How about now?" he asked and flashed her that 'money shot' smile.

"Mr. Timberlake, you are a charmer."

"Charm's got nothing to do with it. I really, really like you."

"But what about Britney?"

Justin's smile faded. "Nothing can touch that. Britney's my baby."

"So where does that leave me?"

Justin sat down on his bed. "I don't know."

"Listen, it's okay. If you just wanna kiss a little."

"I don't wanna do that to you."

"Well… I'm here," she said and rubbed his back.

"I just - Dammit! I fuckin' cheated on her! Jesus, it's like I'm King Midas. Everything I touch. "

"Turns to gold?"

"Ends up turning to shit."

"Don't do this to yourself. Remember when we talked about self-degradation and how it can lead to self-loathing?"

"I already fucked up enough to hate myself , even without degradation."

"Everyone makes mistakes J."

He didn't respond but instead laid his head on her lap and closed his eyes, letting the feel of her fingers caressing his head soothe him. As if looking in the mirror wasn't repugnant enough, now he had to face that fact that he'd just willingly cheated on the love of his life. There was only one conclusion he could make and that was to think this whole thing over. After a good nights sleep and high octane self-exploration.(Jesus, he felt like a self-help book lately) he was sure to come out to the right decision. But could he even trust his own decisions anymore? He didn't know. He'd just have to wait and see.

"So I should do another A minor?" Justin asked, two days before the talent show.

"No, it's fine," Jenna assured.

Justin looked over at Jenna who was very much enjoying her Dr. Pepper. They'd decided to enjoy the after noon on the park-like green behind the center. It was surrounded by well trimmed hedges and flowers that hid the low voltage electrical fence they'd put up to keep people from leaving the property. They weren't fooling anyone.

Suddenly Justin felt like a he was in Jurassic Park but as he sat studying Jenna's comely face, he didn't feel so incarcerated. He bit his bottom up. "I feel like it's missing something."

"It's not missing anything, you're over thinking it hun."

"You think?"

"Yea, it'll manifest itself soon enough."

"The talent show is in two days."

"You'll be fine." He sighed. "Dr. Pepper?" Jenna offered.

"Yea sure."

"Justin Timberlake?" A center volunteer called from the back doorway.

"Yea?"

"Phone call."

He turned to Jenna and gave her a peck on the cheek before getting up. "If they'd have let me keep my cell phone, I wouldn't have to be leaving you right now."

"Bastards," she said and pouted.

Justin chuckled and jogged into the building for the phone. "Hello?" he asked jovially.

"J?" It was Britney. His heart skipped a beat and his voice caught in his throat.

"Hi," he choked out.

"Hey baby, it's Brit. What's up?"

He looked out the window to where Jenna was sitting. "Nothing. What's up with you?"

"Well, I was thinking about this whole situation and...Justin, I really do love you. You mean the world to me and the past few weeks have been so horrible for me." He could hear the pain in her voice as she spoke. "I love you too much to not be with you so I want to be together again. Just promise you'll come see me as soon as you come out."

"I'm not sure I can. I love you Brit, you make my life worthwhile but I don't know if I'm enough of a man for you yet. I need to get myself together so I can be the best boyfriend to you that I can."

"I don't need a perfect boyfriend J,"

"No but I need to be as perfect as I can. For me. Just give me time."

"You've had time. If you loved me you'd either get back together the way you are or you'd break up."

"If you loved me you wouldn't make me choose. I need this for me
Brit."

"The past month has been for you." She was shouting now. Shouting and crying. "I can't do this with you Justin. I...I have to go."

She didn't even wait for a response before hanging up. Were they together, were they apart, or had it stayed the same? Justin had no clue. He leaned his forehead against the wall and hit it a couple of times with his fist.

"Justin are you okay?" Jenna asked and spun him around to face her.
She placed his head on her shoulder and held it there until he raised it on his own. "Who was it?" she asked and looked into his eyes. "Was it your mom? Is something wrong?"

He shook his head. "No." he leaned against the wall and pulled Jenna close to him. "It was Brit."

Jenna's face filled with concern. "What'd she say?"

"I'm not sure. We were just arguing about whether or not to get back together. She wanted to, I didn't."

"Justin, you've been wanting her back since you got here, why.."

"I'm not the man I used to be. Not physically, not mentally...I need to straighten my shit out first, you know?"

Jenna's face fell a bit. "Yea but well, I like you the way you are. I don't know you any other way."

"I know but this isn't me."

"I see."

"Mr. Timberlake? Miss Davis?" the volunteer interjected, "Dinner."

They both nodded and set out for the cafeteria. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So your ankle is better?"

"Yea, just about. It aches at night sometimes but that's it."

It was 10:30 pm by now and Jenna and Justin had spent the entire day together. They only had one full day before the talents show and the next day was the day Justin got discharged. It was bittersweet for Justin but for Jenna it was just bitter. She'd probably never see him again and even if she had the opportunity to, she would refuse. It would be too hard to meet up with him again only to realize that he was no longer the man she'd met at Orangedale ,but someone else. When Jenna came to her senses she felt Justin's lips skipping along her neck, slowly moving down. She stopped him when he got to the nape of her neck. "What are you doing?" she asked and raised his face to hers. The lust in his eyes was undeniable. So much so that it caught her off guard. His hands moved slowly up her thighs as he softly kissed her lips. "JUSTIN!" Jenna screamed and pushed him away.
He stopped his advance long enough to explain. "I have made such a connection with you Jenna. It's like I've known you forever."

"And what, now you want to 'know' me in the biblical sense?" she half joked.

He smiled. "I just want to complete that connection. It's like a circuit, I want us to be connected through an experience we'll never forget."

"This already IS and experience I'll never forget J." There was silence. "And, what about Britney?"

"Why do you keep bringing her up?"

"Because I don't want you to do something you're going to regret."

"I won't," Justin said and started kissing her again.

"J, I don't think this is the greatest of ideas."

He sat back with a loud sigh. "God, I haven't has sex in eight months just please, work with me here."

Jenna could help but laugh. "Eight months?"

"Stop," he whined as she pulled him toward her. He rested his head on her shoulder and played with the bottom of her shirt. "I'm sorry," he said, his libido having cooled off a bit.

Jenna rubbed his head in response before furrowing her eyebrows. "Wait, eight moths ago weren't you."

"Well, I gotta get it from somewhere and Lynn and Jamie don't leave anything up to chance so."

"Who?"

"Jamie and Lynn Spears. Brit's parents. Whenever we're out together they have someone watch us. Like they're baby-sitting. They swear it's for security purposes but it's not because every time I even wink at Brit in a suggestive way they're all over me."

"So you just have sex with other girls?"

"Well I...what can I do? I'm a 21 year old man."

"And. you sleep with other girls but you kiss me once and you're freaking out about how you're cheating on her?"

He looked her full in the face. "Yes because those girls mean nothing to me, there're just toys but I care about you. I'm not making sense am I?"

"No, you are."

He put his head back down. It's not that Jenna didn't want to have sex with Justin, after all, who wouldn't? But she couldn't shake what he had said earlier about how he wasn't who she thought he was. She didn't want to, using Justin's words, make that kind of connection with someone who may not exist in a few weeks. She ran her hands along his 5 o'clock shadow and looked at his digital clock. 11:00, lights out in a half hour and she still had to shower. She kissed his forehead and told him she'd see him tomorrow. She knew that one day she would kick herself in the ass for leaving Justin horny and moaning her name but she also knew that if she didn't, she'd feel the same way in the morning. She shook her head as she exited room 22. Interesting she'd caught the irony in that. Leaving Justin in room 22, alone.

Justin's heart was pounding as the talent show drew to a close. Soon they'd be choosing a winner and if his name wasn't called for first place…. A volunteer walked onto the stage in front of the nights’ contestants. "The judges have come to a decision," she announced and pulled her shirt over her head. What a minute, What? Come to think of it, her voice sounded familiar too. She turned around. "Brit?" Justin asked incredulously. Somehow she'd gotten a mic and she'd started singing at him. The song was like a Pepsi commercial version of 'Sex' by Salt N' Peppa in which she stripped down to her bra and thong and used him as a pole to dance around. He didn't know when but somewhere in the middle she'd turned into Jenna and before he knew it, he was sweating.

Justin's eyes shot opened and he sat in bed "Oh man," he said groggily and rubbed his eyes. "That was crazy."

He shielded his eyes from the setting sunlight and looked at the clock. Shoot, 10 of 5 already? He'd wasted practically his whole day sleeping. After breakfast with Jenna and OTC that morning, he'd come onto her again after which she informed him of higher testosterone levels as result of withdraw. She'd heard of it happening to other guys but not to this extent. It was an exchange for the body, lack of one substance had triggered an escalation of another and along with Epinephrine, testosterone was the most accessible, and abundant.

She advised him to take a cold shower and a nap to calm his nerves. He had but now he would only have a few more hours to practice for the talent show. He thought of dropping by Jenna's room but decided against it, especially after the dream he'd just had. He hadn't even fully woke up before a knock came on his door, thinking it was Jenna, he went to answer it as he was, white Tommy boxers and socks. Maybe she'd give him one of those great massages he knew she could.

"Wakey wakey." He heard a male voice say.

"Oh Jesus," he responded once he realized who it was.

Terrence pulled Bryan back by the collar and put himself face to face with Justin. His eyes were filled with concern and uncertainty. He scratched his head. "Listen, Justin, I know we haven't been the nicest people to you while you've been here."

"No, I can't introduce you to Britney, Christina, Ananda, Beyonce or Lance," he counted on his fingers. Those were the top 5 introductions people asked him to perform and it was disturbing how many men wanted Lance's number. He shuttered to think of it. He closed the door and headed for the bathroom. The knock came again and he answered it, knowing he'd forgotten someone. "Or Janet," he said and attempted to shut the door again but this time Terrence caught it as Justin pulled on a pair of sweatpants.

"We don't want to be introduced to anyone J, we need-"

"Justin," he corrected.

Terrence put up a hand, "Fair enough. Just let me finish. We're sorry we've been jerks to you but we just didn't understand that even famous people have problems."

Justin's ears perked up a bit, "Why the sudden about-face?"

"We talked to Jenna for a while and she told us what a great gut you were and .. we just wanted to say we're sorry."

Justin nodded. "Accepted," he said and shook Terrence's outstretched hand. Sean spoke up. "We kinda wanted to show you something." Justin cocked his head to the side. "Can we come in?" He might be a little on the dazy side but he wasn't stupid. "You can show me out here,” he said and stepped into the hall.

"Fair enough, Terrence said again.

Sean plugged in the stereo he'd brought into the socket and set himself up As 'Pop' drifted into the air, they began to dance. By the end , Justin was smiling and lip syncing to his own voice. "That was hot!" he said after they stopped the CD. By this time, residing patients had congregated in the hall to watch. Terrence, Bryan and Sean bowed. "There were parts we just didn't' know," Terrence said, panting a bit. "You think, you think you could help us out?"

Thirty minutes ago, Justin would have said hell no but it was obvious they'd put effort into what they had so far. They'd missed the entire dance break and a few particularly difficult dance steps. "Sure, " he said and told an onseer to be in charge of stopping the CD when he said to.

It was gonna be a little tough for him to think it through with only three people but it wasn't that bad, some moves would start a beat or two later. All this reworking made him want to call Wade and tell him how kick ass he was but that would have to wait.

He stopped for a moment to fix Bryan's form then resumed. Even some of the other patients were learning it. This was already by far the most fun he'd had since he got there and wondered where Jenna was, he wanted her to be there with him having fun for once. He'd have to remember to check on her when they were through. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Justin had knocked four separate times already and Jenna still wasn't coming to the door. It was 9:45 now and everyone had gone back to their rooms. Terrence, Bryan and Sean with a killer act for tomorrow. He knocked again and rubbed his nipples soft. It was so embarrassing. The AC was on full bast, why hadn't he grabbed a shirt while he was still in his room? He finally put his whole palm over them and knocked again, this time there was no door to knock.

"Justin, what the hell are you doing" Jenna asked and rubbed her eyes.

"I came to see if you were okay, you didn't come back to talk to me."

"There are only so many times I can reject you before I say yes and my limits two so if you came here to ask , please don't," she cracked a smile, "now see, that's just funny," she laughed and pressed his unclad nipple.

"Stooop." he whined, "I was trying to fix it."

Jenna stepped out of the room and closed the door behind her. "You all ready for tomorrow night?"

"Yea kinda," he said and leaned against the wall. "So are Terrence and them."

"Terrence and them?" she asked and tilted her head to the side.

"Yea. They came over a few hours ago, we all settled our differences and I taught them the 'Pop" dance."

"WHAT?!"

"They said you'd talk to them…they said you said…you didn't talk to them did you?"

Jenna bit her lip "What'd they say I said?"

"They said that you told them not to be so mean and talked about how I'm a nice guy and, none of this rings a bell does it?"

"I've been asleep since I left you."

"You didn't stop there or anything?"

"No."

Both were silent for a moment. "Maybe they came around on their own."

"If they had then they would never have mentioned you. God, I feel so stupid."

"J come on. Maybe you're taking it the wrong way."

"Fuck," Justin whispered.

He looked to Jenna, hoping to find consolation but found pity instead.
"They're really good liars, I would have believe them too."

He swore again. "Listen Justin, there's nothing you can do about it now, I wish I could unteach them everything you taught them but I can't."

"They just wanted me to teach them the dance."

Jenna frowned, was he even listening? "J," she started again, "Look at me. There is nothing you can do now except to blow them out of the fucking water tomorrow which I know you're going to do." She kissed him on the nose. "Don't dwell on this, just get some rest and tomorrow, do your thing." He smiled and kissed her lips. She always seemed to know just what to say. "Okay?"

"Okay," he whispered. He placed his hands on her hips and drew her close.

"J...please no," she begged as he began his trail of kissed from her lips to neck. "I want you," he whispered, his voice thick and lusty.

"No," she said and softly pushed him away. A part of her was dying to wake up next to him, his arms wrapped loving around her but the other part didn't want to get too attached. You're leaving in a day," she reminded him. "We many never see each other again."

"Exactly. That's why we should do this."

"I just can't, please respect that."

He moved back up to her lips but let his hands remain where they were. Finally he opened his eyes and looked to her. "You really don't want me do you?" he asked half out of sorrow , half out of surprise.

"It's not that," she sighed and slid into a sitting position."

"Then what is it?"

"I guess I'm just sad you're leaving. What am I going do here without you?"

"Same thing you did before I came?"

"You mean count the days, hours, minutes and seconds until I can leave?"

He put his arms around her shoulder. "You'll be out soon Jenna and when you get out I'm gonna send for you."

"If you even remember me."

"IF I remember you? Jenna, how could I ever forget?"

Jenna thought he was going to kiss her again. The look in his eyes almost guaranteed it. Almost. Instead he pushed himself to a standing position and brushed microscopic dust particles from his pant legs.
"Wait, where are you going?" she asked, fearing she had upset him.

He signed and stretched. "To my room. It's getting late and I still haven't practiced for tomorrow." He looked down at her, all huddled in a ball up against the wall. Funny…he didn't seem to care at all. He knelt down in front of her and took her by the cheeks. His palms pressed firmly but gently there. "Jenna. I promise you I'll never forget you. I love you and I'll see you tomorrow. I need you there supporting me so don't let anything happen to you okay?" She nodded and he kissed her on the forehead. "Night."

CHAPTER 13

It had been close to a half an hour now that the judges had been backstage, deciding upon the outcome of the day's long anticipated talent show. What Justin would give to hear even a portion of their conversation. Jenna rubbed his arm again. "Justin, it's gonna be just fine," she said and pecked him on the cheek. "You were great."
Justin had to admit. His performance was one of the best he'd ever done in his life. Coming in second only to when he sang 'When A Man Loves A Woman' at the MMC auditions. All of the sudden, it got noisier in the room, as though the judges had come out.

His head shot up to the stage but there was no one there. Jenna spotted the mecca of the commotion first and lightly brushed his arm and pointed to the door. Much to his dismay, in the doorway, talking to Terrence and Sean was Britney. His face turned pale and he could swear he went deaf for a few seconds. "Ah shit," he squeezed out after a few minutes.

"What's she doing talking to them?" Jenna asked to no one in particular.

Justin turned to her quickly, "What's she doing here period!"

"Um, okay," Jenna said, trying to take hold of this situation. "Calm down, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for all of this. But, first, I should probably leave."

"What, why?"

"Because, you don't want to be seen with me right now do you? You need to show Britney how much pain and sorrow you're in without her."

"But I'm not IN pain or sorrow. I'm with you."

"But you wanna be with her. Really Justin, this is the best thing I can do for you." She kissed his lips and before Justin could get a word in edgewise, she was gone.

He shook his head, asking himself what had just happened but before he could answer, the judges walked through the thick red curtain and up to the microphone.

"Attention please everyone," one of the volunteers said. "We have the results of this year's talent show so if you'd all please quiet down a little, we can get started."

It was hard for Justin to concentrate on the announcement though. He'd hoped to follow Britney's path but during the time he was talking to Jenna he'd lost sight of her. She wasn't sitting with Terrence, Sean and Bryan so where could she be?

"First we'd like to say that all of our contestants did a wonderful job and we thank you all for entering the talent competition. Everyone here can rise above anything and just because you don't place or win, doesn't mean we didn't enjoy your performance, this was a very hard decision. Now, without further ado, here we go."


Justin's heart skipped a beat. Never had he been this nervous. Not even at the Grammy's, at least he knew for sure they weren't going to win anything there but here, he'd already had so many surprises. And where was Jenna, scanning the audience, he couldn't spot her or Britney anywhere!

"The third place prize goes to…Ginger Fellows and Jimmy Cane for their dance routine. Come on up here you two!"

Everyone applauded, Justin did too but not as zealously as he'd have liked to. Where was JENNA?! This was the worst part, they were going to be announcing first runner up now and -

"The second place prize," the volunteer said and paused. "This was an exceptionally hard decision but the second place prize goes to Orangedale's own little star." Justin exhaled and shook his head. "Justin Timberlake."

It felt like Star Search all over again, but somehow, this one hurt more. Terrence, Sean and Bryan were already cheering over their victory. Justin, slowly made his way up to the stage and accepted the moderately sized trophy as Terrence, Sean and Bryan were announced as this years winners.

The volunteer spoke again. "I know a lot of you are wondering how this decision was made. Justin, this is for you too so listen up. We decided that since Justin does this kind of thing for a living, it's obvious that he's talented and he didn't have to put much thought or effort into it. So, it just wouldn't be fair to give him the first place prize over these boys who obviously worked like crazy to pull this together."

WHAT?! No effort or thought? Boy if they'd only known how many nights he stayed up perfecting that damn song.
Jerks.

But wait, now that he was onstage, the view of the audience would be much better. Justin quickly scanned the crowd for Britney and Jenna. He found good news and bad news. Bad news first, Jenna was nowhere to be seen. Good news, Britney was smiling at him. He smiled back, sort of. Boy this had really taken a lot out of him. Suddenly, Terrence's voice came over the system.

"Hello everyone. We'd like to say thank you to the judges who voted us number one and to everyone who was rooting for us. Thanks a lot. We worked hard to achieve this and we appreciate it very much."

"Yeah right," Justin said under his breath. He'd made his way to the edge of the stage by now and has heading down the stairs when Bryan stopped him.

"Now wait one second there Pop star," Sean said from the mic. "We have a special surprise for you." He turned his attention back to the audience. "As winners of this talent contest, we'd like to show you a special tribute we made. To a newfound friend of ours, you all know him as Justin Timberlake."

Justin titled his head to the left, as he always does when he's confused. "Wha.." he started to speak.

"Now, just stay there and watch our show. Roll 'em."

The lights went down and the slides went up. Pictures of Justin sitting alone at lunch, pictures of Justin during OTC, pictures of Justin playing his guitar. Pictures of Jenna watching Justin play his guitar.
Wait. He remembered that day. That was visiting day. He hadn't been playing anything in particular and yet, Jenna had been watching him intently from across the room. He looked on.

Pictures of Justin and Jenna eating lunch. Pictures of Justin and Jenna laughing hysterically. Pictures of Justin caressing Jenna's hair.

Yes, he remembered that too. That was the day he knew he loved her. They'd been working on his song all day long and the poor girl had fallen sleep on the floor next to him. Feeling tired and lonely he decided to hold her in his arms until she woke up. He'd played with her hair in the process. He also couldn't help but notice that these pictures were getting more and more intimate. How had they gotten these pictures anyway? His eyes widened as he observed the rest.

Jenna and Justin kissing in the courtyard. Jenna and Justin looking deep into each others eyes. Jenna and Justin making out in his room. Jenna pushing Justin away. Close up, Justin's hand on Jenna's leg. Justin entering Jenna's room, half naked.

Oh great! They were taking these completely out of context! They stopped the slides. "I'm afraid you'll have to buy the rest for $19.99." Terrence joked.

It wasn't funny.

"Okay," A volunteer interrupted. "That is enough, please remove yourselves from the stage. Go , go."

"Oh shit, Britney!" Justin thought to himself and looked to where she had previously been seated. Her seat was vacant and she was headed for the door. Without a thought, he was hot on her tail. He caught up with her about halfway into the front lobby.

Spinning her around, he began his apologies. "Oh my God Britney, I am so sorry."

She shook her head, not wanting to hear from him. "Shut up Justin, just-"

"It's not at ALL what it looked like I swear."

"Oh right, that's what everyone says."

"No I'm serious. Wh...what are you doing here anyway?"

"I got a call from your friends. They said that they were wanted to do something nice for you since you seemed sad all the time and they wanted me to come see you but I guess you've been seeing enough of another girl."

"No Brit, they were lying to you. They're not my friends. I don't even have friends here. Not more than one anyway. They all hate me."

"So why would they go through the trouble?"

"To humiliate me in front of the woman I love."

Britney stopped crying for a moment. "Justin, I love you."

"I love you too baby." He took her into his arms. "You mean the world to me, you know that."

"So who was she, just a chick?"

"No, not any chick. She was my friend."

"Nothing more?"

Justin swallowed hard. "Nothing more."

"Justin, I've been through too much shit to go through any more. Come home with me now. Don't look back. God Justin, just leave this place behind."

"But, I don't get released until tomorrow."

"Don't worry about that. I cleared it all up. I signed you out a day early. That extra day wouldn't have made a difference anyway."

"But."

"What?"

"My stuff."

"We'll send for it."

"My friends..."

"I thought you didn't have any."

"Jenna."

"So that's her name?"

"Yeah. I just want to say goodbye."

Britney was quiet for a while. "You can say goodbye J BUT, but if you go back in there, I can't guarantee I'll still be here when you come back out. I'm through waiting for you Justin. I can't take it."

"Brit, you can't do that."

"If you loved me, you'd walk out this door right now and never look back."

Justin was at an impasse. Literally torn between two women he loved. He thought about the last thing he said to Jenna. "I'm not IN sorrow or pain...I'm with you." That much had been true but she had been so swift in her flight that he didn't even have a solid grasp on what she looked like anymore. The only thing that lingered with him now was the memory of how her lips felt on his before her departure. That was that. He knew what he had to do. He knew he was right.
And so he did.



 

It was Christmas Eve and Jenna hadn't heard from Justin in five months. Two months after his abrupt departure, she too had gotten discharged from Orangedale and was now holding down two jobs in San Antonio in order to pay her parents back for the time she had spent there. Though the constant working took up most of her days, she couldn't help but check the phone every few hours or so, just to make sure she didn't miss any messages. How would he have gotten her number though? She'd asked herself many times. And even now, she found herself looking at the answer machines non-flashing red button.

She muted the television again. Carson Daly was talking and if there was anyone in the world that annoyed her more than Paulie Shore, it was Carson Daly. NSYNC had a special on MTV that day. "Spend Christmas with the boys of NSYNC" the commercial had said. This hardly sufficed. She'd been watching the program for and hour and a half now and it would be ending in close to twenty three minutes.
She'd spent most of her time watching Justin shop for a gift for his family...and Britney. "Least they're still together," she said to herself. "Least I didn't lose him for nothing."

Word had gotten back to her that Justin left with Britney that day. He'd had to choose, he chose her. She couldn't say it didn't hurt. Nor could she say she wasn't completely heartbroken. She remembered him telling her that he'd never forget her, yet somehow, she felt utterly forgotten. But there was one thing that gave her consolation. As she watched the show she noticed little things that he'd picked up from her. Certain words she always used, facial expressions, mannerisms.

Despite these similarities, she had been right. Justin was certainly not the same man today as he had been five months ago. He had changed. For the better? She couldn't say that. For the worse? She couldn't say that either. He'd just…changed.

It was like the OTC had never even happened. Well, according to the media, it hadn't. NSYNC's record label had told the press that Justin was at home in Tennessee, recovering from and extreme case of exhaustion.

She picked up Justin's first solo album, the one that she had unknowingly helped him to write and flipped it over to read the song titles. Scanning down the column, she saw the song that he had sang at the talent show, and another one she’d remembered him talking about called "From My Lips To Your Ears". It was kind of like a letter he'd written to his fans that he adapted into a song. It was nice and it was no surprise he'd put it last. Actually, that was the one she has listening to right now and come to think of it, it had just ended. She reached for the button bearing the solid white square and almost had it pressed when Justin's voice filled the air once again. What? She flipped the CD case over again.

"This must be a hidden track," she said and smiled. There was music playing in the background but the words were spoken.

"There's a time in everyone's life that totally takes them by surprise. Totally turns them inside out and generally fucks them up. Then along with that time comes a person, who totally takes them by surprise, totally turns them inside out…but definitely makes them whole. I call that person my angel. I found my angel five months ago. She may not be rich, she may not be famous, but she's all mine. And I'm all hers. Always have been, always will be. And, that's the end of this I guess. Yours truly, Justin.

It didn't take a rocket scientist to know he was talking about Jenna but to this day her friends don't buy a word of it claiming that he could be talking to anyone. It hurts sometimes, that they don't believe her but then again, why should they when the only thing she had left from those wonderful weeks was the fading memory of how gently his hands had caressed her hair the night she realized she loved him.

THE END