As I stood there in the middle of the stage, looking out at the smiling faces, I knew what I was about to say was going to be hard. I took a deep breath and help up a hand to silence the screams.

“Did everyone have a good time?” I asked in my best concert voice. The crowd erupted again and I could feel my fellow band members getting antsy behind me. Why had they left this up for me to decide?
I smiled weakly and the crowd hushed again. “I have something very sad but very important to tell you. This last song is the last you will hear. After the last note ends, NSYNC will be officially….” God, how could I say this? “..over.” Yeah that’s it Justin, SCREW up the most important thing you’ll ever have to say.

The arena went silent. By silent, I mean nothing. No sound whatsoever, not even the hum of dead air had survived this announcement. “What?” I heard someone whisper. “Noo.” I heard others say. “He’s kidding right? This isn’t funny.”

No, it wasn’t funny but I wasn’t kidding either. I could hear heavy breathing coming from behind me and I knew I’d better start our farewell song before we lost it altogether. “We have one more song for you. It’s a song that we all wrote together. It’s called ‘Bow Out’ and I hope it touches your heart as much as each and every one of you have touched ours.”

The intro started and my four friends joined me at the front of the stage. I could tell by the way he held his microphone that Chris’s heart wasn’t in it anymore. I could tell by Lance’s nonchalance, by Joey’s lack of focus, by JC’s silent actions and words that we had reached the end. But the deciding factor had been me. I can tell from the hollow feeling deep inside of me that I need change, as I think we all do. NSYNC has been a huge part of our lives, as a matter of fact, NSYNC has BEEN our lives for the past seven years and although our fans took us farther than we’d ever imagined to go, we couldn’t go on. When we were in the studio recording ‘Celebrity’, we were looking for the respect we knew we deserved. We were looking to break the ‘boy band’ barrier we’d been trapped in for years but something happened that we never expected. We did.

We were no longer on the top of the Pop business, we were on top of the music business as a whole. THAT is the scariest feeling I’ve ever experienced. You have no idea how it feels when you know that the only direction you can go is down. We wanted to keep our name fresh and walk out with our heads held high. We wanted to go out on top. And now, we would. As JC sang the last rift of the song, I started in on my own addition.

“My wounds you always seemed to mend. You stuck with me till the end. Time to go our separate ways, we’ll meet again one of these days. No more doubts, I bow out.” I rifted for a few measures after that and ended it with one more “Bow out.”

I opened my eyes to see shocked faces. They were hanging on my every note, thanking God it wasn’t the last. Our fans were so creative and clever, some of them already has signs up that said “Say it ain’t so Jus, say it ain’t so!” and “ We’ll always love NSNYC.” My favorite was “Always in our hearts: NSYNC 1995-2003.” It was like someone had died. An entity, not a product or a corporation, but a loved one.
Everyone in the arena felt it and the only way I can describe the feeling is damn sad. I held the microphone up to my lips and just listened to the crowd. Their energy had evaporated and all that was left was extreme sorrow. I heard soft sobs behind me and I lowered the microphone. I turned around to face my band mates. There were only four other people in the entire world that did and could ever know how crazy this trip had been. They’d grown to be brothers now. Not surrogate brothers but blood brothers.

Chris threw his arms around Joey and buried his head in his shoulder. Both of their bodies shook from the tears that were probably running down their cheeks at that moment. I looked at JC. We’d been friends for over ten years. I’d gone through more with him than anyone I could think of. I’m glad I didn’t have to make the first move otherwise I would have probably never let him go. He took my mike-less hand and drew me toward him for a hug. The heat that his body normally emitted wasn’t there anymore but he was still as hot as brimstone. It gave me a funny feeling to know that I’d never see him in these lights again. Or on a stage like this. Not alongside me anyway.

I felt three other bodies join us and we opened up our arms to welcome them in. No one spoke. No one had to. We knew this would be the last time we joined like this. Even tonight, there would be no after party, there would be no clubbing. Everyone had driven here independently and so we would leave. Would we ever sing together again? Who knew? The answer as of now was no.

We dried what we could of our tears and lined up, each of us shoulder to shoulder with the one next to us. As a group. It was Chris’s turn first, he’d asked to be in this position if I so chose to end the group. He set his mike on the stage in front of him and made sure to turn it off first. He waved. The screams were deafening but we’d decided to turn off our in- ear monitors for this night. He bowed once and ran through the curtain, never looking back. That was just like Chris. He was always ready to leap into something, no holds barred, full force. He was looking forward to the next part of his life. I felt sorry to be losing him but I smiled as he left. The “S” on the big screen above our heads slowly faded away until it just read “N YNC.”

Next was Joey. His cheeks were covered in tears by not but that didn’t stop him from smiling. He waved for what seemed like 3 minutes, the crowd’s screams never let up. With one last glance, he stepped through the curtain just as the remnants of the “Y” disappeared from the megatron.

Everyone knew it was Lance’s turn next. I never knew that our fans were so incredibly emotional. It seemed as though everywhere I looked, girls were falling to their knees, begging us to stop playing around and bring the other two back out. It wouldn’t happen. Lance blew a kiss to the audience and walked slowly but steadily through the curtain. Joey and Chris were probably gone by now and so was Lance’s N. All that remained was and N and a C.

The crowd got louder as JC kissed his microphone and laid it down next to Chris’s. He waved to the fans then gently patted me on the back as if to say. “It’s been great.” He hugged me again. I was hoping he would. JC was my dawg. We’d stuck it out through thick and thin. Flashes seemed to be coming from the heavens themselves and JC finally pulled away. Without a word, he was through the curtains and gone.

All that remained in the megatron was an N. My N. Oh God. I was just glad I didn’t have to be here when it faded away. I stood there by myself in the middle of the stage and looked out at the sold out 50,000 seat arena. This was the saddest day of my life. I looked up, down, left, right. Every single eye was on me. I backed up until my back hit the curtain. “I love you,” I whispered to them. And I meant it. I took a bow at the curtain and to my surprise, everyone was silent. As if they really didn’t think it was going to happen. I opened the curtain and stepped back into it, my heart racing. I moved my hands and they closed. It was all darkness now.

I heard the chaos that ensued after the last N faded but it was nothing compared to the chaos that was going on inside of me. We were starting over. I didn’t know whether to be happy or to be sad so I just stood there, feeling both ways and utterly confused. NSNYC was over. I was wondering when the day would come and now it had. NSYNC was temporary but our music was forever. I nodded and smiled. I had made the right decision. I’d decided, to bow out.