“Yes, on tour,” Christian said with that adorable English accent I loved so much.

I could have fainted right there. It had been two years since I’d left the United States and I wasn’t looking forward to going back. I’d worked for the American pop group NSYNC from ages twenty to twenty-four when they did the most horrible thing to me than I can fathom anyone doing to anyone. I’m sure you remember. I moved to London soon after my 24th birthday and began working for a few of my father’s clients, publicly known as British boy-band BBMAK. The groups own heartthrob Christian Burns and I had hit it off from the very beginning and soon started dating. It was one year and two months to the day when he dropped this on me. We were going on tour again, in America, alongside my worst nightmare - NSYNC.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“It won’t be that bad sweetie,” Christian said at JFK’s baggage claim.

“It’s been two years, I’m sure they’ve changed. People change.”

“Not these people.” I said bitterly. I remembered having this very conversation with Steve Fatone about these boys. He’d been right, I’d been wrong.

“Oh come on Abby, be a sport. I love you and that’s all that matters. I promise I won’t let them hurt you.”

I looked into his blue-gray eyes and let myself trust them completely. He’d never let me down and now was sure as hell not the time to start. I watched in admiration as Christian pulled my bag off of the conveyer belt and set it gently down next to me. What a gentleman, and he was mine. He loved me, I loved him. The love went both ways. A crazy feeling I know but, I didn’t think life could get any better.

“Mark, move over!” I said playfully and pushed my brown-haired friend further into the limo.

“Sit on Christian’s lap, I need to stretch out.”

I jumped on top of Mark and forced my way in between him and my boyfriend who kissed my cheek and hugged me.

“Getting pushed around by girls now Mark?” Ste asked and laughed.

“Well she’s older and, she’s got boobs.”

We all laughed as the limo driver boarded the on ramp to the highway.

“I love you guys,” I said and wrapped my arms around all of their shoulders.

“We love you too Abigail.”

I smiled but it soon turned into a frown. I couldn’t stop thinking about where this limo was headed. The Plaza Hotel. NSYNC would be there no doubt. I’d see them, they’d see me, their faces pursed in cocky smiles and smirks while they put on their “nice guy” facades for my boyfriend and my friends. It got me so steamed, I could barely stand it.

There was one person I was somewhat looking forward to seeing however and that person was Regina Hunt. She had been my true friend through it all. I’d heard rumors of her having left NSYNC to work for O-Town but those rumors were never confirmed so there was still a slim chance of being reunited with my former best friend.

As our limo pulled into the hotel’s portico, my worst nightmare came true and I saw NSYNC’s limo parked directly in front of ours. My heart sped up as I watched the guys standing by the bellman who was loading their suitcases onto his cart. They talked and joked just as they had before but they had aged and it was very much visible. Especially on Chris. He was 32 years old now and all of the heavy physical exertion had taken it’s toll. He didn’t look bad but he didn’t look as tight as I’d remembered.

“Who cares?” I forced myself to think, “After what they did to you, they could all be blind, deaf and dumb and I wouldn’t think twice about it. Poetic justice I say.”

“Christian!” I heard one of them shout. It was Justin. He jogged over to Christian and gave him a one armed hug. “Hey man, how’s it been?”

Christian went on to fill Justin in on what’s been going on since they were last on tour together but every once in a while Justin would let his eyes wander over to me. He’d look me up and down, letting his ocean blue’s linger on my face for a few seconds and then look to Christian again.

What was he thinking? I didn’t trust any one of these guys one bit. I turned around to ask Ste what he thought but to my dismay, he and Mark were already conversing with the other four NSYNC men.

“Abby?” I heard Christian ask.

I looked to him, “Humm?”

“Babe, Justin is asking you something.”

I looked at him with abhorrence in my eyes. “What?” I asked rudely.

“How are things going with you? How’s London?” Justin asked.

“Beautiful. Wonderful. I like it better than here.”

Justin laughed melodiously. “I know what you mean. Sometimes you go out of the states and you realize what true beauty is but once you come back to the land of the free and the home of the brave, you take it for what it is and you fall in love with it all over again.”

What the hell was he trying to pull? “I don’t think that’s the case for me. I love England and I don’t think I’ll be coming back.”

He shrugged, “I understand.”

He understands? Ok they were SO up to something. This just reminded me of how much I hated them. Christian took my hand and led me into the hotel. At least he was there to protect me if anything got out of hand. “This is going to be okay,” I told myself and took a deep breath. I was standing in the exact spot NSYNC had brought me to tell me about their master prank. This time, instead of standing here in tears, I was standing in the arms of my loving boyfriend. However, Joey’s eyes looked exactly as they had that day, crisp, clear and intense. He hadn’t stopped looking at me since we’d entered the hotel.

“Can we go up to the room now?” I asked Christian, my voice cracked a little.

He looked at me in concern. “Sure sweetie, whatever you want.”

With that we were headed toward the elevator. I exhaled and leaned against the rail as Christian pushed the button for the sixth floor. How was I ever going to make it through this?

“No I can’t be there. No. I’m tired as hell I told him I’d need today off.” The words didn’t seem to fit into my dream at all. They seemed to come from an entirely superficial source. “Listen , tell Wade…..well tell him I don’t care!” I raised my head off of my pillow a bit and searched the bed for any sign of Christian. I found none. “ I gotta go. This isn’t over but tell….say I’ll call him back.”

“Christian?” I asked groggily.

“…Not exactly but the first five letters are right.”

“Chris….CHRIS?!” I said and shot to an upright position. I shook the sleep from my head and rubbed my blurry eyes clear. He’d moved closer to me now and was sitting on the bed, his arm outstretched, ready to pat my head. I pushed his arm away with mine. “DON’T, touch me.”

Chris sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Abby. Honestly now, are you still upset about…before?”

“Before? Is that what you call it? Before?” Chris shrugged. “Chris, I don’t think you understand. I left the country so that I could get away from you people and the only reason I’m back is because my boyfriend, needs me to be here.”

Chris leaned in close and whispered into my ear. “Why do you think we invited BBMAK to headline this tour with us? Why do you think we’re so interested in Christian? We  only really want his girlfriend.”

“You guys disgust me,” I whispered angrily. “Who the fuck do you think you are?”

“No need for profanity.”

“Don’t tell me what to say. I hate you. I hate Justin, I hate JC, I hate Lance and I especially hate Joey. If you don’t really want us here then let us go home you selfish bastard.”

Chris’s eyes softened and he looked towards the wall. “I do. I want you here. I need, you here. What I said in that last letter was true Abby. I am in love with you and God help me ‘cause  I can’t help it.”

“So this was all your idea?”

“Yes.”

“Well it was a bad one. Christian is my boyfriend, I don’t need or want you so let us go home.”

Chris looked at me with stone cold eyes. “Just stop with the going home thing because you know damn well BBMAK doesn’t want to go home. Headlining with us is the best thing that has ever and will ever happen to them. Their careers are going to go crazy because of us. We’re doing this for them, but mostly for you.”

“BBMAK doesn’t need you.”

“Bull shit.”

We sat there like that on the bed for a good three minutes just staring into each others eyes, each of us seeing the determination in the others’. I was determined to leave, he was determined to make me stay. Neither of us were going to give up but if there was one thing I was willing to admit was that BBMAK wasn’t going to just pack up and leave. This tour was all they’d been talking about since Johnny had called their manager and asked if they would be willing to go on tour alongside NSYNC this fall.

I felt Chris’s hand touch my jaw and came to awares. His face was mere centimeters from mine and his mouth was slightly parted in anticipation. I pushed his chest as hard as I could which sent him tumbling off of the bed. I took this opportunity to let him know how this tour would go down. I jumped off of the bed onto his stomach and straddled him. I pinned his wrists to the floor and leaned down until we were nose to nose.

“This is how this tour is going to go,” I whispered forcefully, “Don’t look at me, don’t talk about me and don’t think about me. I’m going to stay with BBMAK, you’re going to stay with NSYNC. I don’t talk to you, you don’t talk to me. You keep your hands off of me, I shudder to think of touching you. We do not break these rules, we do not bend these rules. We only obey these rules. Got it?” Chris looked at me then quickly kissed me on the lips. I slapped him across the face. “You don’t listen do you?”

“Nope, I guess not,” he said and sat up. We were face to face again on ever ground but this time I was sitting on his lap. “Please give me a chance,” he said and kissed my hand.

“No!” I said and wrenched it from his filthy grasp.

The door opened suddenly and Christian strolled swiftly in the door, stopping when he saw the extremely compromising position we had found ourselves in. We sat there for a moment, all three of us, none of us knowing quite what to say. What Chris said next was what started it all.

“So Abby, you don’t think my skin is jacked up?” Chris said suddenly.

“What?”

“I can get rid if these blackheads?” He winked at me desperately, begging me to play along. Oh my gosh, he was saving my ass wasn’t he?

“Yeah. I can get rid of those,” I said and rubbed his blackheadless nose. Chris nodded and shook his legs as a sign or me to let him up. I dismounted his lap and smiled at Christian. “Hi babe,” I said and went to him with arms outstretched. He accepted my hug but subtly pulled away when I tried to kiss him. He looked at Chris once. “How’d you get in?”

“Abby,” he lied.

“But you’re supposed to be rehearsing with us. I thought they said you
were sick.”

Chris was at a loss for words, there was no way he could have expected such a question. It killed me to have to do this but..

“He is sick,” I covered. “He started feeling dizzy from standing so I told him to go ahead and sit down.”

“Well, why’d you lock the door,” he asked me in a hushed voice.

“The door locks when it closes.”

“No, I left the dead bolt out so that the door wouldn’t close and I didn’t take my key because I knew I’d be coming back in a few minutes.”

“So you just left me for anyone to spy on?”

“There’s no one else on this floor but us and NSYNC.”

“If you left your key then how’d you get in?”

“I went to the front desk.”

This was sounding weirder and weirder by the second. “Well babe, why didn’t you just knock?”

Christian looked away then and I saw his jaw clench. It seemed as though he didn’t want to give me an answer and that didn’t seem like such a bad idea, I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear it either. “Joey told me to be weary. I think I know why now.”

I looked at Chris for any sign of betrayal but found none. I looked to Christian again whose eyes were transfixed on Chris. There was something about them that frightened me. I didn’t want those skeptical eyes to turn on me. I wanted so badly to tell Christian that Chris had entered the room uninvited and kissed me. But how well would that go over with him? That still didn’t explain why I was on his lap. Hell, I didn’t even know why I’d chosen that position in the first place and I now wished I hadn’t.

“Blackheads?” he said abruptly. So abruptly in fact that it startled Chris and I a little and we jumped.

“Yes,” Chris answered.

There was another moment of silence while Christian let the situation ruminate. His eyes warmed up and he smiled. “I’m sorry. You’re probably embarrassed about that huh?”

Chris played along and ran a hand through his hair bashfully. “Yea, kinda.”

“Don’t worry chum it happens to the best of us. If you ever need to see Abby privately you’re more than welcome to come. Just say the word and I’ll go find something to do.”

What? What was Christian saying! I grabbed his ears and guided his face toward mine and shook my head shallowly in desperation. “Don’t worry,” he whispered. “I’ll protect you.”

He pressed his lips against mine and let his tongue play with mine for a moment. Chris cleared his throat to make his uncomfort known. Christian pulled away and apologized to Chris for his thoughtlessness before grabbing his guitar and leaving.

I waited until the door had been shut for ten seconds before beginning my tirade. I went on for what must have been a half hour. Telling him never to speak to me again, it was too close and Christian could have seen something he wasn’t supposed to and how I hated lying to my boyfriend because he never lies to me…everything I was thinking. The words were like honey, they flowed from my mouth thick, and with no let up. No spaces, no commas, just words and exclamation points. I can’t even remember exactly what I said to him, I only remember what he said after I was through.

I sat on the bed, spent from all of the yelling and crying and cursing I’d just done. Chris stood still while I rubbed my tear filled eyes and kept mumbling under my breath. Finally he moved. He glided over to the bedside and stood before me, saying nothing. I looked up at him, my eyes red and bloodshot. It was amazing that he could stand there so motionless and stately after having been verbally derogated for close to 30 minutes. He knelt down in front of me.

“I don’t want him to leave me, Chris. I don’t want you and I never will. I only want him.” Left over words from my acrimonious harangue.
He let out a short breath of air and then caught it again. I could see his eyes begin to gloss with the beginnings of tears and immediately wished I could renege on what I’d just said.

“I wish you would kiss me like that,” he whimpered. “It’s always the pretty ones that get to choose.”

“Get to choose?”

“The girl of their dreams.”

“I…’m not sure I get what you mean.”

“Guys like Christian and Justin, they can get any girl their heart desires. But me, I don’t WANT just any girl, I want you. And so because I don’t have blonde hair, or stand in the front when we go to photo shoots or, get asked the most questions or sing the most in the band, I can’t have you? I wonder who you’d be with if we were all just regular guys working at BK.”

“I wouldn’t be with any of you, as old as you two are and working at BK?”

“Yet you say you love him. So I guess your love doesn’t transfer through.”

“Well-“

“But the difference with me is, I would love you no matter who you were. If you were a pauper on the street, I’d love you. If you were a producer in L.A., I’d love you, Black? I’d love you. Asian, I’d love you. Crazy, I’d love you. Sane - I love you.” His eyes searched for understanding in mine. “Can you say the same for Christian?”

A knock came on the door and Chris shot to his feet. “I’d better go,” he said softly. He walked over to the door and opened it.

“Chris?” Lance asked and looked beyond his friend and further into the room. “What’s - “

That’s all I got to hear before Chris closed the door to talk with Lance alone. I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard. And to think, the conversation Chris was about to have would change my life forever.

I stormed over to the door, ready to open it and then slam it shut again, just to make a point but before I had the opportunity, I heard soft susurration just outside. It didn’t sound like only Chris and Lance, it sounded like all five of them were there. I’m sure that whatever they were whispering about would be more useful to me than I could have hoped for so I put and ear up to the cold wooden door and strained to hear what they were saying.

“..but does Christian know?”

“I don’t know, he probably does.”

The voices were so muffled that I couldn’t tell whose was whose. There was one thing I could decipher however. There were only four and if there were five, the other one wasn’t talking.  Why would they do this right outside my door?

“So what did she say?”

“…..just…..said to him. I never…she would do that though.”

Dammit. This door was so thick that I couldn’t even make out most of it. A few gaps were easily filled in by context but others…

“Then why don’t you just ….plan.”

Plan? Oooh no. No. They were not going to try to play another prank on me. The phone started ringing and I pressed my ear harder against the door.

“…s the best…be...all day.”

They went silent then as the phone rang away in the otherwise empty room behind me.

“Her phone is ringing.”

“So.”

“She’s in …. isn’t she answering?”

Shit. When had they gotten so damn smart? I backed away from the door slowly as to not disturb it or anything else. I ran to the night stand making sure my feet touched the ground as little as possible.


“Hello?” I said loudly to divert their attention.

“Abby?” I heard a warm familiar voice answer.

“Regina?”

“Yeah. It’s me.”

Oh my gosh, I couldn’t believe this. I guess the rumors weren’t true, she really had stayed with NSYNC. I heard a deep voice in the background and my heart skipped a beat. “Gina babe, we gotta go.”

I knew that voice. That was Joey! What was he doing with her and why was he calling her bab…oh, hell no.

“One second Joe, I’ll be right there okay? Muah, gimmie kiss.” I heard the slick sound of lips and figured he’d followed her orders. So THAT’s who was missing. “Abby?”

“Yes,” I answered, trying not to sound too upset.

“Sorry about that. So what do you say about going out a little later and making up for lost time? I’m sure we’ve got a lot to catch up on.”

“I’m sure we do,” I said and scratched my eyebrow. “but I’ll have to ask Christian if he’s not planning on doing something with me later.”

“Oh yeah, the Christian thing,” she said and laughed jovially. “Man have I read about that in the British tabloids.”

“..how do you get the British tabloids?”

Regina paused for a moment and stuttered a bit when she responded. “Well, I mean, Joe gets ‘em sometimes. He can order them or whatever…”

Now I had to think about that one for a moment. Did Joey get the tabloids to keep tabs on me or was he just getting them so that he could keep tabs on what the British had to say about his group. I no longer deemed them worthy to be called a band. They don’t know what a real band is. Christian, Mark and Ste…THEY were a band. NSYNC? Fodder for the masses.

“Hello?” Regina asked after a moment.

“I’m here,” I said softly. “What did you read about me?”

“Oh I don’t know. I just read about how you guys got together and how you and him are like Britan’s Justin and Britney which is remarkable because you’re not really that famous. But you’re famous now.”

“Famous? I am not famous.”

“You go out with Christian Burns for God’s sake.”

“Are you famous?” I prodded.

“Me?”

“Yeah, you.”

“…No.”

“Well you go out with Joey Fatone…”

There was silence on the phone again. I heard Joey in the background again calling her name. She shouted back that she was coming and hastily told me she’d call back later and hung up the phone. I pinched the bridge of my nose and pondered on this whole situation but before I could immerse myself too much, I remembered the discussion going on outside my door and ran over to it. They were arguing now. Everyone was talking at once and no one was listening to anything being said. I wondered what had happened to trigger all this.

“Hey stop!” I heard one of them say. Everyone did as he’d demanded.

“I don’t know how good of an idea this is …but it just might work…”

They all started talking again but this time it was out of excitement. I leaned into the door as hard as I could so I wouldn’t miss any of it.

“Hey guys!” I heard a fifth voice say. I recognized this one.

“Oh no, Christian, not now! Please!” I whispered to myself. They guys all took their turns asking what was up and patting him on the back. He’d just come to find out where they all were since they were supposed to be rehearsing together. They left with him a few minutes later without revealing their master plan but I knew they’d have to say it sometime and I was determined to be there when they did. I WOULD find out what they were planning and I’d stop it. One way or another.

“Whoever is rubbing their leg against my thigh would you please stop,“ Lance asked nicely.

Chris giggled and Justin slapped the table. “Can’t you tell which direction it’s coming from?” Justin asked while JC and Chris tried to retain their laughter.

“No, that’s why it’s freaking me out.”

Oh GOD! Why had Christian left me here with these LOSERS?! Grown men and they couldn’t stop playing footsie underneath the table. It was a shame to think that these guys were multimillionaires and had so much influence on the people who listen to their music. If NSYNC said jump, the fans would ask how high. If they said kill your mothers, the fans would ask, if they should use a knife or a gun. It’s sad to think of. Very sad. I shifted in my seat and looked in the direction Christian had been heading in before he disappeared.

“Why so uptight?” JC asked and rubbed my shoulder. I looked at his hand in silence and he sheepishly removed it. “Abby. If you’re still mad about before…”

Again with the “before”!

“..that was years ago. It was dumb. We were dumb, come on. You’ve got a new life now it can’t possibly still bother you.”

I glared at him in a mix of anger and confusion. “I think all of the hair gel has finally gotten to your brain. It can’t possibly still bother me? I live in London, JC. If it didn’t bother me I would’ve moved back.”

“I thought you just stayed because…I mean, Christian lives in London right? I figured you wanted to stay with your boyfriend.”

This is when Chris decided to open his big mouth. “Speaking of which, where is he? He left a good half hour ago didn’t he? And look at your food. It’s almost cold you’ve been waiting for him so long.”

“Fuck off!” I shouted, startling the topical fish in the aquarium beside us. “And what the hell are you trying to get at?  Christian loves me, okay? You don’t even know what love is. You don’t even know how to love you heartless piece of shit.”

“Hey don’t talk to Chris like that. You know the way he feels about you and you’re still yelling at him? Who’s the heartless one now Abby?” Justin said with narrowed eyes.

I looked at Chris again. “Oh this was something you decided to share with them after all I see? Yeah, came a few years too late, Asshole.  Where the hell is Christian!”

Justin smirked. “He won’t be back for a while Abigail. As a matter of fact he said to go ahead and leave without him. He told me to tell you he loves you but he’s sorry, he won’t be back until early tomorrow morning.”

I had no idea whether Justin was bluffing or not. I’d been in the bathroom when Christian decided to leave so anything could be possible.

“You’re lying,” I said to test my waters.

“Oh really?” Justin said and handed me his cell phone. “Go ‘head, call him up.”

I looked around at their nonchalance. “What did you do? What did you send him to do?”

“Nothing really,” JC said, “I mean, we need to use the facilities during the daytime so the only REAL time that’s free is, well. At night. We share with them during the day but all of BBMAK’s alone time happens now.

“So you’re saying that you work alone, just NSYNC during…”

“The morning.”

“And with BBMAK…during the day?”

“Yes and all afternoon. The only real time they have is from about 10pm to 4 am. Then they can sleep and then it starts over but don’t worry, when the tour starts it’ll be a little better.”

I felt like I wanted to scream. They were doing this on purpose so I’d be forced to spend time with Chris. Well it wasn’t going to work. I’d stay in my hotel room all day if that’s what it took. But I needed to find out what they were planning, what they had said “just might work” and make sure it didn’t.

“You gonna eat your shrimp?” Lance asked.

“No,” I answered coldly. I poked one with my finger. It was just as cold.

He reached his fork over into my plate but I stopped it with my own. I looked at him up and down first. He looked nice tonight, I had to admit. They all did sorta. Everything except for JC’s hair which was in dire need of a blowdryer.

“Are you going to let me have one or aren’t you?” Lance asked.

I lifted my fork and let him eat from my plate. What was the use of fighting with them now? It took up too much energy and no matter what I never seemed to win. For the next twenty minutes I sat there without a word just thinking about how pissed I was about Regina and Joey. How could she do that to me, especially when she’d witnessed first hand what they’d done? Then I got to thinking about the whole tabloid thing. That was exceptionally weird.

“Abby,” I heard JC said and patted my hand. I pulled it away out of habit. He looked hurt.

“Sorry,” I said and looked down toward my lap. “What?”

“Are you okay? You seem kind of out of it, you know?”

I was but this whole Joey thing was too much. “Why does Joey get British tabloids?” I asked instantly. No one answered right away. “He DOES get British tabloids right?”

Lance scrunched his forehead in thought. “I think I’ve seen them sometimes but I didn’t know he got them on a regular basis. If he does then they’re probably not for him because I don’t even see him reading them.”

“No, they’re for Regina.” I whispered.

“Oh. So you heard,” JC said sympathetically. “I’m sorry. Well I’m sure you don’t still like Joey anyway right?”

“If by ‘like’ you mean ‘hate’....”

“Hate’s a strong word Abby,” Chris said.

“Yeah. That’s why I used it.”

The table was silent for another minute or so. Finally, Justin’s face lit up. “Well, I think I might know someone who’ll change your mind just a little bit. How about we take off tomorrow and take you someplace really fun.”

“No.”

JC tilted his head to the side. “Come oooon, you know you want to.”

“I really don’t.”

They smiled. “Just make sure to dress comfortably and be prepared to have a blast okay?”

I looked around the table at all of the smiling faces and narrowed my eyes. “This had better not be a joke.”

“It’s not,” Chris said and looked me in my eyes, “I promise.”

Of all the things I’d heard in those three weeks, ‘I promise’ had not been one of them. I gave them the benefit of the doubt and let myself look forward to tomorrow as we pushed in our chairs and left the restaurant, I just hoped I wouldn’t regret this.

I took a deep breath in through my nose and let his sweet aroma full my lungs. I trailed my hands along the waistband of his boxers and let them slide up underneath his flimsy white tee-shirt. His abs were so well defined I could cry. I let my fingers trace his abdomen, running along the valleys and dancing atop the mountains of his chiseled stomach. I opened an eye. Pure sunlight was shining in through the slits in the curtain. I had to remind myself of where we were.
Yesterday morning we’d relocated to Orlando. We’d only been scheduled to stay in New York for two days, just so that everyone could start on the same page. Dinner had been on the guys. It was too bad the Christian wasn’t able to partake.

I rubbed Christian’s stomach again and kissed his shoulder blade. I got a moan in response. I kissed him again. He must like it when I do that because he turned to face me in bed and gave me quick kiss on the lips, never once opening his eyes. “Still sleepy?” I asked and smoothed some of his hair down.

He nodded. “I got to bed late.”

“What time?”

“What time is it now?”

I propped myself up in my elbows and looked over to the nightstand that was on Christian’s side of the bed. “7:10,” I answered.

He nodded,” About and hour ago.”

“What? Why so late? I thought you guys only had until 4 am.”

“That’s only when NSYNC need to use it at 5 but they’re taking today off.”

I was still for a moment. “What do you mean ‘they’? Didn’t they give you guys the day off too?” Oo, I was gonna cut someone if they hadn’t.

“Yeah but…”

“Dooon’t tell me you’re not coming.”

“ I can’t sweetie. It’s not everyday we get to work on the soundstage all day.”

“Oh come on, you’re always working all day. All you do is work.”

“Technically speaking, yes. But, well, you know what I’m trying to say.”

“But-“

“And besides, I’m so tired now I can’t even open my eyes, let alone go gallivanting around Orlando.”

I frowned. “Well what am I suppose to do here without you?”

“Go with the guys. I want you to have fun.”

“I want you to have fun too.”

“I will. I promise I’ll make it up to you once the tour starts okay?”

I nodded weakly and slipped back underneath the covers. He put his hands on my waist and soon drew me closer to him. That’s when the phone rang. “Jesus, Mary and Joseph,” I said under my breath and pressed my forehead against his. He chuckled and tightened his grip on my waist before hoisting me above him to the nightstand and finally having me land on top of him. I picked up the phone in mid ring. “Hello?”

“WAKE UP !” Lance shouted into the phone.

“Oh lord,” I said and closed my eyes again.

“No seriously. We’re all leaving for our fun day in an hour or so.”

“Fun day?”

“I’ll tell you where we’re going when we get there.”

“Who’s coming with us? Who’s going to change my mind about Joey?”

“You’ll see. So get ready, we’ll be at your room in an hour.”

We both hung up and I laid my head on Christian’s chest. “What was that you said about Joey?” Christian asked and wrapped his arms around my waist .”

“The guys are trying to convince me that he’s not a bad person.”

“So you’re getting along with them all right? I was worried about how you’d do when I left you last night.”

“I did fine,” I said and rubbed my nose against his neck.

“I’m glad. I know what they did to you was horrible and I’m sorry I had to go.”

“It’s okay.” I inhaled again. Remnants of his cologne still hung on his skin. I didn’t mind though. As a matter of fact, I kind of liked it. I took two more deep breaths. “Lance said they’re coming to pick me up in an hour.”

“You’d better go then.”

“I want to stay with you.”

He kissed me on my forehead again. “I want you to go Abby. You need to have some fun.”

“Without you?”

He finally opened his eyes. “Abby. It would make me extremely happy if you would go out with NSYNC today. Please.”

I couldn’t resist that look. I sighed and pushed myself away from his warm skin. I stood up and wrapped the sheet around his body again. He looked so adorable lying there looking up at me. “I love you,” he said softly and kissed my wrist when I ran my hand through his hair.

“I love you too,” I reciprocated. I couldn’t think of a time when I’d felt more in love in my entire life. I felt as though if Christian were the only man I’d see for the rest of my life, that would be okay. I broke my heart to walk away from Christian and into the shower but if going out with NSYNC today was what he wanted, I was going to do it. I picked out my most comfortable outfit and waiting for them to show up. I didn’t know what to expect but whatever it was, I was going to be 100 % aware at all times. Who knows what else these men had in store?

I was blindfolded in a car on the way to God knows where with two fifths of NSYNC. All I knew is that I was in a sports car, Justin’s Mercedes MClass most likely, with Justin, Chris and Justin’s longtime girlfriend, also known as Nelly’s second cousin Asia who had informed me that she too was blindfolded. They’d ‘permitted’ conversation between the two of us but not much of it. I had a strange feeling that there was someone sitting on the other side of Asia that was still unintroduced. I guessed that was the person I was supposed to meet. Whoever they were they were awfully quiet. Oh well, I’d find out soon enough.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“We’re here,” Chris said and put me in front of him.

“Ready Asia?” Justin asked.

We both assured them we were and they took the blindfolds from our eyes. “Disney World?!” Asia screamed and practically choked Justin with a hug.

“I know you’ve never been,” he said tenderly. She hugged him again and he kissed her on the lips. His eyes looked just like Christians had that morning. Wow. He must really be in love.

I hadn’t gotten a great look at her but from the glimpse I’d gotten, she was gorgeous. She had to have been a model or something glamorous. She had the most perfect skin. It was a smooth shade of milky chocolate brown that was unmatched by anyone I’d ever seen.
No blemishes, no pimples, just perfection.

“So what do you think?” Chris said and bit his lip nervously. I blinked a few times then smiled “I think it’s wonderful. I haven’t been here since I was a kid. I loved it but after my mother died, we never got to come back.”

Chris smiled as well. “Really? You’re not just saying that to make me feel good?”

“Very funny Satan. I would never say anything to make you feel good. Hell, if I knew that would make you feel good I wouldn’t have said it.”

A small child tugged at Chris’s semi sagging shorts and he squatted down so she could whisper in his ear. He laughed. “Yes, you can talk now.” He told her and took her hand.

She had to be damn near the cutest toddler there ever was. Her brown hair was tied in two quaint ponytails on either side of he head. “This is Brianna,” he said and looked at me. His eyes sparkled.

“Aww,” I crooned, “What a pretty name. Hey Brianna. How old are you?”

She held up three fingers. I smiled “Aw that’s awesome. I’m Abby.”

“Abby Taylor?” she asked perfectly.

I drew my head back a bit. “Exactly. You’re so smart. How did you know that?”  She looked up at Chris then shrugged her shoulders. “She’s adorable. She’s not yours is she?”

“Nope,” Chris said.” But don’t worry about it. Let’s just hurry up and get to the fun right Bri?”

She laughed and agreed. Asia grabbed my arm. “Justin and I are gonna take off but meet us back here at like, six so we can all eat together okay?”

I nodded. “Absolutely.”

With that, Justin and Asia were off to wherever. This was the first opportunity I’d gotten to take a look around. Now I noticed what was so strange about the place. We were the only ones here. “They closed the whole park for us?” I asked Chris.

“Yea. Well I mean, our whole crew is here so it’s not like its just us five. Lance and JC are coming with their girlfriends a little later and, people will be here. Don’t worry.”

People but not the one person who mattered the most.

So where do you want to go first?” he asked me.

“I dunno,” I looked to Brianna. “Hey Brianna, where do you wanna go? You wanna go check out Space Mountain?”

I knew she had no idea what that was but she nodded viciously anyhow. We headed toward Tomorrowland, Chris holding Brianna’s right hand, me holding her left. If anyone were to see us they’d get the wrong idea so I was glad there wasn’t. Just imagine the story the British tabloids would be carrying then! We swung Brianna between us and concentrated on her. At least for now. Today was shaping up to be not half bad.

“Cinderella said she’s taking me on the rollercoaster.” Brianna said and giggled.

I squatted down to meet her and frowned. “I see how it is. You don’t want to hang out with me anymore? Is that it?”

Brianna shook her head and hugged me tight. “No. I love you,” she said. She was starting to sound like Chris.

I laughed and reciprocated her words. “Tell Cinderella to be nice to you,” I told her as she waddled away. Brianna looked back at me and smiled. I waved until she was too far away to see me anymore.

“So,” I heard Chris say. “What do you wanna do now?” My stomach growled to answer for me. “Hungry?” he asked.

I nodded. We’d been walking Brianna around the Magic Kingdom for five hours and even though she was the sweetest thing I’d ever laid eyes on, toddlers were tiring if you gave them enough time. He took me by the hand and led me to the front of the park. “Where are we going?” I asked wearily.

“It’s my favorite place to eat when we come to Disney World.” We stepped into a restaurant that was just off of Main Street USA “This place has got the best ice cream ever.”

I let him lead me to the far booth. This was funny, I didn’t fee like wrenching my hand from his or spitting on him or ever calling him a jerk. I actually wanted him to hold my hand and although the thought of this scared the hell out of me, I wanted a hug. Don’t ask but it was just something about the way he interacted with Brianna that softened my heart. Chris had told me that she was the one who they’d brought along to change my mind about Joey but I didn’t see the connection. I reached for a menu but Chris held my hand down before I could raise it to my face.

“Let me order. I know something you’ll love. It’s the best dish here.”

The skin on my wrist tingled underneath his fingertips. This was definitely not good. “Okay,” I said and curled my lip into a tight smile. I needed to call Christian, now. I needed to hear his voice. Remind myself of why I loved him so much and hated Chris with a burning passion. “Um, Would you excuse me?”

Chris didn’t let go. His eyes were filled with brown sorrow. His truculent expression stopped my heart for a second. ”Where are you going?” he asked sheepishly.

“I need to make a phone call.”

“You have your cell phone right? Why can’t you just call from here?”

“It’s private.”

“I won’t listen. I’m not like that, just stay. Please.” I looked at him, incredulous. “I mean, Finally I get you alone and you want to leave?”

I wanted to call Christian but I couldn’t tell Chris that, it would break his heart. “Why do you care?” I asked myself. “He didn’t care about your feelings a few years ago. Have you forgotten?” Hell no I didn’t forget! I shot him and irate glare. “Christopher Alan, I don’t know what you’re trying to pull but it almost worked. Almost. Where’s JC huh? Where’s Lance and Justin? I know they’re snooping around here somewhere, just fess up.”

Chris closed his eyes and let out and exasperated sigh. “Can we just forget about the prank? That was years ago and I said I was sorry. You don’t understand Abby. For the past two and a half years, my life has been abysmal. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t even breathe without thinking about you. At night I see Joey with Regina…”

I snorted.

“..Justin with Asia, Lance and Beverley, JC with Pamela and I’m all alone. They seem so happy.” He sighed. “I want that Abby, I need that. And I need it with you.”

No one had ever said anything even remotely like that to me in my entire life. Chris sure was good with words but I wasn’t going to let my guard down that fast. “So why now Chris? Why after nearly three years? After I find a boyfriend and my life finally starts making sense again? I went to London a broken wreck. And BBMAK, they made me what I am now and you’re saying that I should forget all of that because now I’m back in the States and you want me? I should just leave them?”

“Wait, what are you saying? Listen to yourself. They this, they that…I thought Christian was your boyfriend but you make is seem like you’re married to the whole group.”

“In my heart I am.”

Chris rose to meet my intensity. “Well until I see three rings on your finger, I’m not going to give up. I’ve never given up on anything and I’m not about to start.”

“Can I get you two anything to drink?” A timorous waitress interjected.

“Come back to us later.” Chris said without even looking in her direction.

“But…you two are the only ones here.”

“She speaks the truth, Satan,” I said with nonchalance.

“Thank you Dante,” he said sarcastically and sat down again. I joined him.

The waitress who had caught us in a tiff swallowed hard and recited the characteristics of the day’s specials and the Soup of The Day. I did as I said I would and let Chris order for me. We ate in virtual silence but our eyes said enough. He knew I was starting not to hate him anymore and I knew he knew he same. We tipped our waitress heavily and Chris signed a napkin for her “cousin”. As soon as we left the restaurant, Brianna came running over to us and gave us both a simultaneous hug, her right arm and around my right leg and her left arm around Chris’ left.

“Uncle Chris, look what Cinderella gave me!” she said and showed him a charm bracelet with a Cinderella motif.

Uncle? Uncle Chris? Chris had sisters but none were old enough to have kids yet, I didn’t think so anyway. He opened his eyes wide and glared at it as if he’d never seen anything so sumptuous. We took her hands again, just like before but this time she brought our hands together and clasped them tight. She ran a few steps ahead then turned around to examine her work. It must not have been enough. She took Chris’s other hand and brought it to mine. “What’re you doing Spaniels?” Chris inquired of our little Aphrodite.

I looked at him and laughed, “Spaniels?”

“When she was little we’d sing to her and her favorite song was ‘Goodnight Sweetheart’ the Spaniels version so…” I nodded and tried to hold in a giggle. “ I just thought of it one day, I don’t think she gets it though.” Our stomachs pressed together, again at the hands of Brianna. “What you doing?” Chris asked again.

“Kissy,” she demanded. “Cinderella says the Kingdom is a place for love and Uncle Chris loves Abby so..”

I could feel my face getting red. “We’ll kissy,” Chris agreed, “but not right now. Maybe later okay?”

Brianna must have figured it was good enough because she simply shrugged and looked for something else she wanted to do. I was hoping we wouldn’t run into any other crewmembers while Bri demanded we hold hands. I didn’t want this getting back to Christian. Unfortunately, I wasn’t so lucky.

“Why do you guys hate me so much?” I asked Chris after exiting Alien Encounter.

“What do you mean?”

“Why did you make me sit next to Regina?

“Cause she wanted to sit next to you.

“Why? So I can smell Joey’s cologne on her?”

“Oh stop.”

“What?”

“Next time you can sit next to Pamela okay?”

“I’d rather.”

We’d met up with Joey, Regina, JC and is girlfriend Pamela a few hours ago right after we’d decided to unload Brianna on Ruben and Greg from the NSYNC band. They said they’d be sure to bring her to us at six so she could eat with us. I wondered if Justin and Asia would mind if Joey, JC, Pam and Regina ate with us but I figured they would be more than happy to have the extra company. Whatever their reaction, I was about to find out because it was 5:50 and we were heading for Cinderella’s castle where we said we’d meet Justin and Asia. They waved to us as we got closer, Brianna was already there. “Daddy!” she screamed and ran towards us.

Daddy? She practically bowled Joey over when she hugged his legs. I could feel the blood draining from my face I turned to Chris. “She’s JOEY’S daughter?”

He bit his bottom lip. “I thought you’d figured that out.”

“…No.”

“Well she was born while you were still with us. Don’t you remember Kelly?”

I shook my head. Could I have just blocked all memory of this angel child out of my mind? It sounded like something I would do. I was too blinded by my love for Joey to even notice. All I knew was that I’d never heard of this child before and that I was one lick away from passing out. Chris grabbed my hand and led me toward the restaurant we’d be dining at. I’m pretty sure that Pamela and Asia were talking to me on the way there but I don’t remember any of it. As a matter of fact, the next thing I knew I was sitting between Asia and Chris, sipping water with lemon in it, waiting for my dinner to come.

“You okay?” Chris whispered into my ear.

I nodded. The initial shock was a little overwhelming but I was okay now. I took a deep breath and looked around the table. All of the NSYNCers were there with their girlfriends along with a few other crewmembers. Oh how quaint, Regina just happened to be sitting directly across from me with Joey to her right and Brianna to her left. The three year old was pouting with her arms folded against her chest. Every once in a while she’d take a few seconds to shoot Regina a look of pure odiousness. For some reason this brought a smile to my face, unfortunately it was only a fleeting one because when my eyes settled on Joey, I discovered that his had already settled on me. He was staring at me just like he’d been on the day we’d arrived at the hotel in NYC. For a good five minutes, I tried to shake his insistent glare but nothing seemed to work. I heard Chris clear his throat and finally Joey looked away. I glanced at Chris and smiled to thank him. I looked down at my plate, the food looked incredibly appetizing but for some reason, hunger had left me.

“You sure you’re okay” Chris asked and rubbed my thigh.

“No,” I said truthfully. Suddenly I wasn’t having such a good time.

“You wanna go for a walk?”

“Please.” Chris took my hand and we excused ourselves. I could hear a few soft whispers but at this point, I couldn’t care less.

We walked around the park in silence. The warm, crisp air seemed to blow all of my worries away. It was odd to see Cinderella’s Castle by moonlight without there being screaming children and noisy foreigners to obstruct it. The view was actually kind of romantic. “Do you want one? Chris asked again.

“What?”

“One of these,” he said and help up an ice cream bar in the shape of Mickey’s head.

I shook my head. “Not really hungry.” I informed as we took a seat on one of the green benches nearby.

“I’m sorry about Joey,” Chris said when he was about halfway done with his dessert.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize.”

“No, he was being a dork.”

“I know but I’m okay.”

Chris faced me on the bench and I did the same. He took one more bite from his ice cream then threw it into the trash bin behind him. He took both if my hands in his and began to play with the nails on my left hand. “I just want you to have a good time,” he said softly.

“I’m having a good time but Joey, I mean…It’s not like he’s spoken to me since I got here. He just stares at me and…” I shoved him playfully. “why didn’t you say that Brianna was Joey’s to begin with?”

“I thought you knew.”

“I didn’t,” I said and looked towards the silver diamonds twinkling above us. I looked back at Chris who was now rubbing his palms on his shorts, trying to remove the ice creams sticky residue. I giggled when I noticed that he had some on his cheek.

He looked at me in wonder. “What?” he said and slowed his rubbing.

I wiped the melting ice cream away with my thumb and let it linger for a moment more, allowing our eyes to lock in a dangerous bond. Before I knew it, his hand had claimed the same spot on my face. My hand dropped to serve as a buttress when I leaned forward. I couldn’t believe this was happening. Chris’s tongue was like magic with mine. He was so soft and gentle just like Christian but he had another unknown quality that Christian was simply lacking. I don’t know exactly how long we were sitting there on that bench that way but when we finally pulled apart and took a look at each other, it was in a completely different light. He petted my hair and kissed me several more time before speaking. “You can’t tell me that didn’t fill you up inside. Tell me that was horrible and I promise you I will never speak to you again. Just say the words Abigail.”

I could only answer him with a kiss of my own. My brain was screaming one thing but my heart screamed the opposite. Christian. My God, what had I done? “No,” I whispered, “I hate you. It was horrible,” I lied.

“I love you,” Chris said, able to see right through my uncaring facade.

“I hate you,” I repeated.

“You love me,” he said and kissed me again. “We should get back though, everyone is probably wondering where we are.”

Before we started walking I had to make one thing clear. “This stays between us okay?” I begged of him. “Christian is my boyfriend and no matter what you think, I love him and he loves me. Got it?”

He winked, “Sure.”

“No I’m serious. Tonight stays between us.”

“Fine, tonight stays between us,” he promised.

We walked to the restaurant in beautiful silence. Jesus, had I lost my mind?! Was I going crazy?

I rolled over in bed and took a deep breath. A couple weeks had passed since that night with Chris and nothing had come up. The tour would be staring in less than seven days and I couldn’t imagine a bigger boon. In one short week, Christian and I would be free to spend as much time with each other as we wanted. I reached in front of me to where Christian usually laid but felt nothing, I felt around a little more before actually opening my eyes. When I did, I saw him sitting in a chair facing the bed. His eyes were red and bloodshot with deep bags under each. His hair was unkempt, boxers ruffled and the air around him seemed generally somber. “Baby, what’s wrong?” I asked raspy voiced.

His eyes focused on me and seemingly turned to stone. He held up a crisp looking magazine which upon further inspection turned out to be the newest edition of ‘Teen People’. He opened it up, “What’s this?” he asked sullenly.

I rubbed my eyes and flung my legs over the side of the bed. He rather harshly shoved it in front of my face so I could see better. My breath caught in my throat as a picture of Chris and I engaged in a sweet game of “tonsil hockey” as the magazine called it, stared bluntly back at me. My jaw dropped.

“Yeah, that’s what I did too.” Christian said and ran a shaky hand through his golden spikes. I had no idea how I was going to get myself out of this one. “At Disney World?” he asked. “I trust you with him and this is what happens?”

“Trust me with him? What are you talking about, you’re the one who wanted me to go. You forced me to go.”

“Oh I see, so you’re saying this is my fault.”

“No. Okay Christian. Let me explain…”

“Please.”

“I kissed him but it didn’t mean anything.”

“So its true. YOU kissed HIM.”

“We, we kissed each other but only because Brianna forced us into it.”

“Who the fuck is Brianna?” he shouted, suddenly extremely vexed.

“She’s Joey’s daughter.” He stared at me, bewildered. “It was harmless.”

“To who? Last thing I knew, harmless meant that what you do hurts no one but I’m hurting right now so obviously it wasn’t harmless Abigail.”

“Harmless means there was nothing behind it. No feelings, no sparks. It was like acting.”

“I wasn’t aware you’d made a career change.”

I rubbed my face, not believing what was happening right now. Christian and I had never gotten into a fight before and I’d NEVER heard his curse. Not once. I couldn’t even imagine the amount of pain he was going through right now but all I could say for myself was..
“You weren’t supposed to find out.”

Yeah, THAT’S the ticket.

“I wasn’t supposed to find out?” Christian chuckled and clenched his jaw. “I wasn’t supposed to…my girlfriend cheats and all she can say for herself is ‘you weren’t supposed to find out.’”

“I wasn’t cheating Christian, please believe me.”

“Oh you weren’t cheating?” He ripped out the page and held it up again. “THIS isn’t cheating?” He turned it toward him then back at me, “Ooo, looks like cheating to me!”

“Christian…please,” I said and reached for his hand.

“Don’t, touch me. I don’t know where those hands have been.”

“Why won’t you believe me when I say it didn’t mean anything?”

“You really wanna know why I don’t believe you?”

“Yes.”

“You wanna know?”

“Yes!”

“If this kiss was as ‘harmless’ as you say it was, you would have told me before now. You would have told me and you wouldn’t have been so shocked when I showed it to you AND you wouldn’t be trembling right now.”

I looked down at my hands. My God he was right, I was trembling like a shack in an earthquake. “I’m trembling because you’re so upset with me,” I lied. “I don’t want to lose you. Not this way.”

“Well, tell me which way you want to lose me and I’m sure we can make that happen.”

“I don’t. Ever. God, Christian. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me and you know that.”

“Then why would you risk it?”

“I don’t know. I was afraid you’d react….well, like this.”

“Have I ever reacted like this before?”

“No.”

“Then what made you think I would?”

He had me there. We both sat looking at each other for a tense moment. Suddenly he sprang up and headed toward the door.

“Where are you going?” I asked on the verge of tears.

“None of your business.”

“Please don’t leave?” He stopped when I said that. One hand on the doorknob, the other balled into a tight fist. I ran over to him then and took his fist in my hands and kissed it open. “I’m sorry,” I said softly. “I love you. You know I love you.” I could see the warmth beginning to filter back into his eyes but just as it came, it went. He pried his hand from mine and clenched it again. “Are you coming back?” I asked.
He looked at me for a few more seconds then proceeded out the door. I didn’t know what to think. He’d never gotten this mad at me before ever in our relationship. Should I take that as a “no”, as a “yes” or as an “I don’t know”? I spent the next few hours sitting in the middle of the room rocking back and forth and the tears simply surged out of my eyes. My entire body shook in fear and regret. What if Christian didn’t come back? I would have just given up the one man I love and who actually loves me back. I’d never be able to forgive myself. I let myself drown in my own worries and tears, I didn’t deserve any better.

It wasn’t until three o’clock that after noon that I decided to take a shower. I figured that there were better odds of Christian coming back if I kept up on my hygiene. I lay down on the bed face up, kicking myself for not having been honest and up front with him to begin with. Every once in a while I’d start crying again. I looked over at the digital clock laying on the end table to my right. 5:53 pm. There was a knock on the door. I moaned in protest but got up regardless and sauntered over to the door. There was no way this could be Christian, he had a key. I opened the door and shielded my eyes until they could adjust to the light.

“Abby, we came to talk to you about this,” Mark said and help up the magazine.

I sighed. “Could we please not? I’ve already had it out with Christian.”

Mark and Ste walked in and sat me down on the bed. “We didn’t come to yell at you. We haven’t seen Christian all day and when we asked Joey if he had, he said no and told us it was probably because of this.”

So Joey CAN speak. “Why’d you ask Joey?” I probed. “Joey this, Joey that. Joey hasn’t even spoken to me since we got here so I don’t know why people keep listening to what he says about me.”

“He’s just trying to make you feel at home. He’s sorry about what happened and he doesn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“Doesn’t want to make me feel uncomfortable? If he really wanted to make me feel welcome, he wouldn’t stare at me all the time. He woul..” The phone rang. Oh my God, could this be Christian? I leapt over the bed to the desk and raked the receiver from its resting sport. “Christian?” I asked hopefully.

“…No,” the voice said. “Actually this is Darren from downstairs.”

“Oh.” My heart fell.  “I’m sorry, Darren…what do you need?”

“We’re just calling to let you know that the other half of your party has checked out.

“The butterflies in my stomach roared to life and I felt faint.” What?”

“A Mister, Christian Burns?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, he checked out as of 4:23 this evening and we were just wondering if you would like to remain in your current location.”

“The reservation isn’t up is it?”

Darren hesitated. “Well, no but-”

“But what?”

“We’re going to have to get some more information from Mr. Burns.”

“Why can’t I answer your questions?”

“The room is in his name.”

“It’s not like he’s paying for it.”

“The company put the bill in their name.”

“And that name is Taylor. My father is the one that owns that company.”

“Well I’m sorry Miss, you were not the specified reservation holder. Mr. Burns will have to be the ruling factor.”

He hung up, just like that. Disregarding me completely. I hung up the phone with a loud, floppy click and gazed into the air.

“What happened?” Ste asked and put a hand on my shoulder.

“He left,” I whispered.

“What was that?”

“He left. He checked out.”

“When?” Mark demanded.

“’Round 4:30.”

“Well, where is he?”

“I don’t know.” Those words hurt me immensely. Christian never left without telling me where he was going. Who knows where he could have been now? Did he go back to London? Go to a different hotel?

“Christian’s not the type to do something like this.” As Marks’s last word was ending, his phone began to ring. He pulled it out and looked at the caller ID. “..It’s him,” he said and let out the breath he’d been holding. “Hello?”

I could hear Christian’s rushed voice on the other end of the line and wanted so badly to speak to him. “Yeah,” Mark said and looked at me quickly. “Oh…yeah we’ll do it…yeah. One sec.”

He handed me the phone and told me to return the phone when I was through. He tapped Ste on the arm and whispered something to him and soon they were off to God knows where. “Hello?” I said into the phone.

“I checked out,” Christian stated.

“So I’ve heard. Why? I’m so sorry Christian, you have no ide-“

“Don’t bother apologizing Abby. Don’t bother saying anything. The damage is already done.”

“What about us?”

“ I think you know.”

“Are we still…”

“ I don’t see how we can be.”

My eyes started tearing again. “Please don’t say that. I can’t lose you now. I’ll die.”

“I died when I saw that picture. I die every time I see it but you what’s so messed up about it?”

“That fact that I cheated?”

“So you admit it now.”

“If that’s what you want me to say then I’ll say it. I love you, I’ll do anything.”

“What did I tell you about apologizing?”

“I’m sorry.”

Christian chuckled. “As I was saying. The messed up part is that I never got to kiss you like that.”

“What?”

“I can tell, I know you. You’ve never kissed me like that Abby and now I don’t think you ever will.”

The tears were falling now. “Please don’t say that.”

“You’ve got two days Abigail. The reservation was cut short when I left but out of the goodness of my heart, I’m letting you have to more days to enjoy the States with Chris.”

“Huh?”

“I called your Dad. I told him what happened.”

“WHAT?!”

“I wasn’t trying to get you in trouble I swear it, you know how close your father and I are.”

“But-“

“He said you were goofing off too much when you should be working.”

“The tour hasn’t even -“

“He thinks you’re letting your grudge against Joey cloud your judgment.”

“I haven’t-“

“I’m just the messenger but I think the most important thing is this….he wants you back home. In London. By Sunday.”

It was 2 pm and my flight would be leaving in less than 4 hours. Christian had asked Mark, Ste and the rest out our comparably small crew to stay at the new hotel with him. They’d all agreed. Turned out that both Asia and Pamela are models for the Urban Decay line of cosmetics and they were away at photo shoot in New York City at the moment so it wasn’t as though I could even hang out with them. “If only my life were as glamorous.” I said to myself as I stuffed the last magazine into my carry on. The cab was probably here by now. “Arrived in a limo, leaving in a cab.” I whispered to myself . “I’m sure the guys will get a laugh out of this one.”

I could hear them now, telling me I was nothing without Christian and how stupid I was to have fallen for this again. I opened the door and swung it until the knob hit the wall behind it. Turing around, I stuck my foot out behind me so the door wouldn’t close while I grabbed my stuff. I dropped my bags when I saw someone standing there when I faced forward again. “Jesus Joey!” I exclaimed. “You scared the hell out of me, what are you doing here?”

Truth was I didn’t really expect him to answer but he did. “I heard about your dad. I heard he took you off of BBMak and assigned you to Geri Haliwell.”

“Oh is she who I’ll be serving for the next few years? Figures, he thinks she’s so great but we hate each other. Once again, my life sucks.”

“It doesn’t have to,” he said and looked into my eyes. It was that look again. The same one he’d been giving me for the past month.

“What are you getting at?”

“Do you really want to go back to London?” he asked and moved closer to me.

This presence was overwhelming. It was almost as though every last feeling I’d once had came rushing back to me all at once, hitting me with a force that almost knocked me over. Instead of doing so I simply leaned closer to him and gave an answer. My voice was unusually shaky. “I want to stay with Christian. I mean, this is the first argument we’ve ever had and I know we can work through it.”

“He’s pretty cut up about it.”

“I know. It’s my fault but, the kiss...it didn’t mean anything.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Oh course I’m sure.”

“That’s not what Chris said.”

Chris? Hadn’t I told Chris not to mention it? “Well, it’s the truth,” I said and picked up my bags again. “If you don’t mind, I have plane to catch.”

“Wait,” Joey said and held my shoulders.

“ What?”

“You said you don’t want to leave right?”

“Yeah, so? No one cares about what I want.”

“That’s not true.”

“Whatever you’re thinking, I don’t want to hear-“

“Abby, we want you back.”

“What?”

“Just say the word and you’re hired. Full time.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Is this part of your newest joke or something?”

Joey shook his head. “No way. You say the word and you’re in. Same as before but this time there’s no bullying.”

“No pranks?”

“Not one,” he said and took my hands.

I promptly removed them. “Why should I listen to you?”

“You’re just going to have to trust me.”

“Me? Trust you?”

“I know it’s gonna be hard but if you want to be with Christian…”

“I won’t be with him anyway. If you hire me not only will I have to work with Regina, whom I’d despise-”

“Hey-“

“-but, I’d also be working on you guys again. I wouldn’t have any time to see BBMak. And I can’t take seeing someone else do my job.”

“Not a problem,” Joey said and smiled. “Hollywood Records asked us to hire an additional make-up artist since I guess they’re running low on employees this year.”

“Yeah, that’s true.”

“ They never specified who could and who couldn’t have the job.”

“So it’ll be like I never got removed to begin with?”

“Exactly.”

I know what you’re thinking. “Abigail, flashing red light. DON’T TRUST JOEY!” And I would listen to you but, even if this IS a prank, I’d much rather risk getting humiliated if it meant that I could have even the hint of another chance with Christian.
“So what’s it going to be? Will you do it?”

I took a deep breath and nodded. “You’ve got yourself a new make-up artist.”

Joey’s smile widened to twice it’s original size and he shook my hand. “Welcome back.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I said and dragged my bags back into the room.

“This is gonna be great! Just like old times!”

I swirled around to face him again. “No!” I shouted, “NOT like old times. New times. Completely new times.”

He chuckled and scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, that’s what I meant. Our old team, Gina, Abby….I’m really happy you’re going to be here.”

“I’m not working for you guys remember? I’m BBMak’s artist. RIGHT?”

“Right.”

“I’d better be.”

“Well, there is one small thing.”

My shoulders dropped, “What small thing?”

“Well, since there are only two of you…as you may have heard we recently let your former replacement go..”

“I hadn’t.”

“We did. Since there are only two of you, and 8 of us…we were…we were planning on splitting us up. 4 for you, 4 for Gina.”

“And, Christian is one of mine.”

“Yup, and Chris.”

“No.”

“Hey, I thought you wanted this job.”

“I do but I can’t have Chris and Christian in the same room. I can’t just…I just can’t.”

“That’s part of the deal.”

“You never said that was part of the deal.”

“It is. Unless…you wanna hurry up and catch that plane.”

I was stuck. There was no way that all three of us would make it through this tour as long as we were together everyday but I needed to be with Christian. If I declined now I’d never forgive myself. Besides, what did I have to look forward to in London? Certainly not Geri.

I sighed and bit my bottom lip. “Can’t we just switch Chris for…JC?”

“Nope.”

“For Lance?”

“Nope.”

“…for Justin?”

Joey thought about that one for a while. “Nope.”

“Oh come on!”

“What, you don’t want to switch for me?”

“Why would you want me to do your face when you love Regina?”

“Why would Chris want Regina to do his face when he loves you?”

“He’s confused. He’s a confused little man. He does not love me, he just doesn’t know it yet.”

“I think you’re the one who doesn’t know it yet.” Joey patted me on the shoulder. “Just sit back and relax. I’ll call your dad and tell him you won’t be coming. Don’t worry about the room or anything I’ll take care of it. You just take care of yourself. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I nodded and threw myself onto my bed and Joey left the room. What had I gotten myself into this time?

“…So then he gives me a white rose and sings me this song he wrote for me. God it was great!”

“Greeeat,” I said, annoyed. What the hell made her think I wanted to hear he story of her and Joey’s first date?

I had to drive in the limo with Regina all the way to Tampa where the tour would be starting. I begged Chris to let me stay on the tour bus with them but he soon found out it was unfeasible and told me it was just a few hours and to just bare with it.

“You know, when I said I was cool with your relationship…I was lying. I’m not cool with it. As a matter of fact, I hate it. I….don’t really wanna hear about what Joey did or said to you because…I hate you both.”

Wow, how awesome was that?

Regina poked her nose in the air. “You’re just jealous.”

I looked at her in disgust. “Yeah. THAT’S it. I’m jealous,” I said sarcastically. Suddenly I knew what Daria must feel like.

“You must be jealous, otherwise you wouldn’t be acting so bitchy.”

“Well dammit Regina, I think I have a little right to be bitchy. You were the one always telling me how pathetic I was for liking Joey. I mean, you saw how they treated me, you heard what they said…”

“Yeah I did. I was just trying to get your mind off of Joey, that’s all.”

“How could you turn around and date him after what he did? I can see it so clearly now. You were just trying to sabotage-”

“Sabotage what? Your non-existent relationship?”

“It didn’t have to be non-existent, You…it was your fault.”

“You know what Abby? You’re right. I was the reason you and Joey never got together. And if you totally ignore the fact that he didn’t, doesn’t and won’t ever love you then I was, am and always will be the only thing keeping you and Joey from getting married.”

“I don’t even know why I bothered staying in the first place.”

“Okay you know what? I didn’t want to tell you this but, Joey and I are engaged.”

“Yeah, you’re real funny. ”

“No I’m not kidding. We’ve been going out for forever, since before NSYNC even got together. Sure we’ve been on and off…and then off again but we’re definitely on now and we have been for a good six years.”

“What about Brianna huh? If’ you’ve been ‘on’ for the past six years then how come Brianna isn’t YOUR little girl?”

“That was a mistake.”

“That? So now you’re calling her a ‘that’?”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“And a MISTAKE?”

“Abby, you’re twisting my words.”

“I wonder what Joey would have to say about this.”

Regina pinched the bridge of her nose and continued. “Joey and I got into a fight, he got drunk and went to Kelly’s to sober up…”

“And they had sex.”

“It was a mistake!”

“And not just regular sex,” I antagonized. “Baby-makin’ sex.”
 “He was drunk? And Kelly talked him into it.”

“Bull. Kelly talking him into it? Whatever. You’ve got it back-ass-wards. Joey made the moves on her. You know Joey, I know Joey…”

“No, you do NOT know Joey.”

“Just tell me one thing Gina, how come you didn’t just tell me? Why didn’t you tell me about Joey and why didn’t you tell me about Amar? Was I EVER your friend?”

“Abby, you’re still my friend and I didn’t want to tell you about Joey because I knew it would break your heart. I didn’t tell you up front because I didn’t want you to treat me differently but when I was just about to tell you, you came out and said you had a crush on him and after that, I just didn’t have the heart.”

“What about Amar?”

“I didn’t know about that, I swear to God and I had no idea they were even planning to do anything like that. I mean, I’d heard them whispering to themselves but I never thought anything of it.”

I pondered on that. “Have they been whispering to themselves lately?”

“Lately?”

“Since I arrived?”

She shook her head. “No, not really. Not that I’ve noticed anyway.” I bit my bottom lip. “Why?” I waved her question away. “I’m sorry about Joey. I really-“

“Forget it.”

“Chris is sweet though.”

“I’m sure.”

Regina moved to my side of the limo. “So what about that kiss?” she asked with zeal.

“What ABOUT that kiss?”

“How did it feel? What’s going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, is anything materializing between you two?”

“Nothing.”

She pouted. “Why not?”

“Because, I love Christian. That’s the only reason I took this job. The one and ONLY reason.”

She sat back in her seat as did I. “He is looking pretty hot lately.” I uttered.

Regina cracked a smile. “You think?” I nodded and let the smirk slide off of my face. What I wouldn’t do to have Christian’s arms around me at that moment. “So…call him.”

I snapped out of rumination. “Christian?”

“What?”

“Oh you mean Chris.”

“Yes, of course. I think he would love it.”

I shook my head and let my head fall back onto the headrest. “I’m not interested.”

“You SO are.”

“I’m SO not,” I assured her and closed my eyes. “The only man I want is Christian. Christopher Alan could drop dead right now and I wouldn’t care.” Regina giggled. “What?”

“Christopher Alan. That’s so cute. You know you’re the only one who can call him that. Justin said it once and he damn near took his head off.”

I could feel my cheeks flushing red. “Chris, okay? Chris. CHRIS could drop dead right now and I wouldn’t care.”

Regina took a dubious breath before letting her eyelids drop as well. I let out the breath I’d been holding and let myself relax. I hoped it wasn’t bitterly obvious that I was lying. It was true, I wanted Christian back but to say that I hadn’t felt anything when Chris had kissed me would be nothing short of a lie. I took a long, deep breath and let myself fall into complacency.

“1,2,3 o’clock, 4 o’clock rock. 5,6,7 o’clock, 8 o’clock rock, 9, 10, 11 o’clock, 12 o’clock rock we’re gonna rock, around, the clock tonight.” NSYNC sang in the small 13 by 15 room. Well actually, it was only four of them, Joey wasn’t currently present. Even without their 5th, those boys had beautiful harmony. Somewhere around “rock, rock, rock ‘till broad daylight”, someone had messed up and now they were all laughing, trying to figure out what had gone wrong. I was supposed to hold off on applying their make up until further notice. Hum, this was funny, I had four people but one was missing, the most important one, Christian. I saw only Chris, JC, Lance and Justin, one of whom shouldn’t be here.

“Am I assigned to all of you guys?” I interjected.

They looked around and nodded. “Yeah, that’s what Steve said.”

Steve? I had totally forgotten about him. “Steve,” I repeated.

I walked out the door into the hall, leaving 4/5 of NSYNC still rocking around the clock. I poked my head into Regina’s room to see if Steve was there. He wasn’t but Christian was. My body froze for a moment to see him laughing an joking around while I was so torn up inside but as soon a he noticed me I made sure to depart with as much haste as possible. “Hey!” I heard him call from behind me. His trot turned to a jog then slowed to a walk while he started questing me. “Why are you still here?” Were the first words to erupt form his lips. Not exactly the first words I wanted to hear.

“NSYNC offered me a job with them here. Which also means I’ll be with you,” I said and gazed into his delicious blue eyes. The slight tint of gold that always seemed to shine though his irises never ceased to turn me on. “They told my dad, they told Hollywood Records. We’re stuck together.”

To my dismay, Christian pouted. “Why?” he asked of me.

“Why did you run to my dad? You told on me, I still can’t believe that.”

“It was a mistake. I honestly didn’t mean to get you in trouble okay? I didn’t mean to get to recalled.”

“Then why are you so upset that I’m not leaving?” I took his hands in mine. “Babe, we’ve been together for two years now and … I love you and I know you love me. Don’t you even want to work this out?”

Christian’s shoulders dropped and he began to relax. “Of course I want to. Every moment I feel like calling you and telling you I’m sorry and making things all better between us.”

“So what’s been stopping you?”

“I have nothing to be sorry for.  You were the one who messed up.”

“I know. I’m the problem. I was wrong and I’m sorry.”

“I know but…” he sighed, “I don’t know anymore. This tour is going to be the hardest thing to get through now that you’re still here. Do you know how much it’s going to hurt to see you and Chris talking and having fun when I’m sitting here all alone?”

“You don’t have to sit all alone. I don’t want to be with Chris, I want to be with you.”

“Abby!” Steve’s voice boomed. “There you are.” Christian hastily removed his hands from mine and sprinted back to Regina’s room. I frowned as I watched him do so. “Abby, we are so glad to have you back.” I smiled weakly as he hugged me.

“It’s great to be back.”

Steve looked at his watch. “ I know you’re in a hurry, so I’ll keep this fast and simple. Low lights, less make-up. JC’s got patches of dry skin…”

“No…I think that’s Chris.”

“Is it?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, well, doesn’t matter right?”

“Actually it does.  Who told you to come tell me all this stuff?”

Steve’s professional aura faded a bit and he took off his useless sunglasses. “Okay no one did but I just wanted to see you. I’d heard that you were back but I had to do some stuff back home. I missed you Abby, why didn’t you stay in touch?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know I just…I wanted to leave everything behind.”

“Well didn’t you miss me? Even a little bit?”

I smiled and held my fingers up but left some space between them. “Just a little.”

Steve smiled and hugged me again. “You’re not still hung up over….are you?” I shook my head. “Good girl. Well, are you really in a relationship with…” I shook my hand from side to side. “Oh…things not working out.” I shrugged again. “You don’t wanna talk about it.”

“No.”

“Well, okay then. How about we catch up later okay?” I nodded slightly. “Hey, hang in there okay? And by the way, Joey told me that you wanted to work right along Christian but he didn’t request to work with you and we would have put him with you anyway if Chris hadn’t requested you.”

“What?”

“You requested to work with Christian.”

“Right.”

“Chris requested to work with you.”

“Okay.”

“Christian didn’t request to work with you. But since you didn’t NOT request Chris, his request kind of overrides your request. Get it?”

“But that’s not fair. My request doesn’t mean anything?”

“It’s only strong if you request Christian and he requests you back. Since Christian and Chris are the artists…it’s more important to serve their needs. Sorry Love but that’s just the way it is.”

“Goddamn that Joey.  He said I’d be able to work with Christian.”

“Sorry hun. You’d better get to work, the concert starts in a few.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I was NOT!” Lance said and I told him to close his eyes. JC and Justin burst into laughter.

“You always do that,” Justin said a few seconds later.

“Fine! Let’s just try again.”

Lance began, “Sunday, Monday, Happy Day.” Justin entered, “Tuesday, Wednesday, Happy Day.” JC and Chris entered, “Thursday, Friday, Happy Day. Saturday, what a day, Rocking all week with you…”

“If we rock for much longer I’m gonna throw up,” I cut in. “What’s with all the ‘rocking’ songs? Rock from 1 to 12, Rocking from Monday to Saturday...”

“And on the Sabbath day we rest,” Justin said and flashed his notorious smile. I shook my head and called JC over to take a seat. Justin’s grin faded to a simple smile. “Abby, can I ask you a question?”

Oh Jesus, here it comes. What could this possibly be? “Sure,” I said jovially.

“I want you to answer this honestly.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Why did you decide to sign back on with us?”

I froze for a moment. “Well…” I began.

“Honestly.”

“Joey asked me if I wanted a job. I didn’t want to go back to England so I said yes.”

“Why didn’t you want to go back? I remember you saying how much you love it there and that you would never move back here.”

“Well I’m not MOVING..”

“Yeah but it doesn’t make sense,” Lance added.

JC pulled me down until I could whisper into my ear without being heard by anyone else. “Did you stay for Chris?”

The truth was. I wasn’t sure anymore. A part of me knew I was staying for Christian but another part wanted to spend my days with Chris.

“Sort of,” I whispered back. I glanced at Chris who was in the corner of the room doing something or the other. “Chris,” I said and pointed to the chair that JC had since vacated.

“Oh!” he said and flipped his phone closed. He smiled as he approached. “I have a special gift for you,” he said into my ear before taking a seat.

“Chris…” I said cautiously.

“No, it’s gonna be great, trust me.”

Was this really great or was this another prank? I really had no grounds to suspect them of wrongdoing since nothing had happened as of yet. As of yet. I reminded myself. ‘Yet’ could happen anytime.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful except for one incident where Chris and Christian literally ran into each other. My prayers were answered and nothing foul erupted from it but even still, the tension had resurfaced though I didn’t think about it much. I was too busy trying to ready myself for Chris’s surprise. What could it be?

“Are you almost ready?” I asked Chris through the bathroom door in his hotel room.

“One second,” he said for the sixth time.

After the concert, Chris asked me if I would like to go out to dinner with him. I pointed out that it was kind of late and almost anywhere we tried would be closed. He pointed out that he was Chris Kirkpatrick and left it at that. I began pacing and I looked down at my outfit again. I’d gone for a simple, classy look.  Long, black halter dress and black heels.  Can’t get any more basic than that.

Finally, the door to the bathroom opened and Chris emerged looking rather well put together. I must say, I was impressed. His goatee was neatly trimmed for once and he was wearing black pants and a black vest with an orange, collared, long sleeved shirt underneath. And oh, my, LORD had his glasses on. If there was one thing that turned me on it was a man in a nice pair of glasses. He even had one if those silver ball necklaces that I like so much on him.

“I remember those pants,” I said and pinched at them. “They let you keep them?”

“Why not?” Chris pressed the button for the lobby and we rode down the elevator in silence. “You look beautiful,” he said once we were both inside the limo.

“Thank you,” I said and flushed a bit. I looked to the front of the limo at where the driver sat. “Hey MIKE!” I exclaimed. I’d remembered meeting him a few years back.

His eyes widened. “Abby!” I leaned through the small window and pecked him on the cheek. “You want purple, like before?”

I nodded and smiled. The lights that lined the limousine gradually changed from yellow, to green, to blue and then finally to purple.

“Nice. Thanks Mike.” He nodded as Chris closed the divider and put up the glass. “Aww. Why are we blocking Mike out?”

“He doesn’t mind.”

“Sure he doesn’t.” Chris scooted closer to me. “So where are we going?” I asked.

“The Hard Rock Café at Universal Studios.”

I gave him a look. “Citywalk?  We’re going to Citywalk?  What are we fourteen?”

“Hush.”

“Was this my surprise?”

“Part of it.”

“Is this a good surprise or a bad surprise?” I wanted to know.

Chris sighed. “I know this may seem foolish of me to say but I wish you’d forget about the prank.”

“You want me to forget about it?”

“I’d love for you to forget about I know it’s not gonna happen. I wouldn’t trust me if I were you so I appreciate you coming out to dinner with me tonight.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Chris grinned weakly and rubbed my hand. “Soo…what’s going on with you and Christian?”

I sighed. “I don’t know Chris. Earlier when I was looking for Steve I ran into Christian and we talked about it.”

“What’d he say?”

“I don’t know exactly. He mentioned how he still has feelings for me and… it was weird. I can’t…”

“It’s okay. I know what you’re trying to say.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be so quick to apologize, we’ll see if there’s anything to be sorry about at the end of the night.”

I wasn’t too sure what he meant by that but I was sure I’d find out sooner more than later. The rest of the ride we talked about the tour, London, and damn near everything else until the limo pulled up behind the Hard Rock where we were ushered in the back. So far, so good.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chris hung up the phone and took both of my hands in his. “The second part of your surprise is here.”

I smiled, “Oh really?”

“Mmmmhum.” Chris motioned to our waiter to bring it in. To my amazement, Sheryl Crow strolled in the door, complete with guitar. I couldn’t utter much more than a few broken syllables and high pitched tones. Chris stood up and hugged his old friend. “How are you Sheryl?” he asked.

“I’m just fine…” she went on with the conversation but I was too star stricken to concentrate. “So..” Sheryl said after a few more minutes, “Abby is it?”

“Yes.”

“Abby, what would you like to hear? I’m here at your disposal. What’s your favorite song?”

“Every Day Is A Winding Road?” I asked.

“Is…that a statement or a question?”

“A, statement.”   Ugh!

“Every Day Is A Winding Road huh? Oldie but goodie.” She tuned up her guitar and began plunking away at the strings. Chris and I sat there for the four minutes just listening to her, captivated until her very last cord has finished reverberating in the tepid night air. Okay, well, I was captivated but I fear that Chris was a bit depleted by the time she finished ‘All I Wanna Do’ which was the third of the 7 songs I had her play. After talking to us for an hour or so, she announced that she was sorry but she must leave. We did too a couple minutes later and it was back to the limo.

“So, what did you think of Sheryl?” Chris asked on our way back to the hotel.

I turned my body to face his. “Oh my gosh, she was wonderful. I love Sheryl so much. I mean, ever since I was a little girl I used to just put her CD…well back then it was cassettes so I used to put her cassette in my Walkman and just fall sleep listening to it when I was feeling depressed or anything. It was my own form of therapy you know?”
Chris nodded. “Well, all I’m trying to say is that it was great. I…I don’t even know what to say.”

“I’m glad you liked it…least someone did.”

I punched him in the arm. “Sheryl Crow is, thee best.”

“I agree,” he said sarcastically.

“Shut up. I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

We both laughed. “How did you know she was my favorite?”

“I asked Regina.” Okay, made sense. “I’m glad you liked it.”

There was silence as the intro to NSYNC’s newest sonnet came floating into the limo through the back speakers, quickly followed by Justin’s common song opener rifting and smooth Oooo’s. Chris pressed the intercom button to talk to our driver. “Hey Mike?”

“Yup.”

“Can you turn off the radio?”

“You can do it back there.”

“Yeah I know but it’s kinda dark.”

“Okay, you got it.”

“Hi Mike!” I exclaimed before Chris could let go of the button.

“Hi sweetie,” he radioed back.

I giggled. “ I love him.”

“I love you,” Chris said and looked longingly into my eyes.

“Chris…”

“No Abby, you just don’t understand. When I’m with you, I..”

I held a finger up to his lips. “Chris please. Listen. I like you , very, very much. I have to admit. The thing is, Christian and I…I love Christian.”

“But does Christian love you?”

“Yes.”

“How are you so sure? If he really loved you he would have forgiven you already.”

“I hurt him. He’s hurting and he hasn’t forgiven me because of that. If he didn’t love me then what I did wouldn’t have hurt him so much.”

“Well. Do you think that you two are going to be getting back together?”

“I have no clue. Sometimes I feel as though this partial break up has been good for us. I think we needed some time apart.”

“But you still think you two will make it?”

“Well, yeah. Honestly now Chris. Be really honest with me. Tell me the truth. Do you see us not getting back together?”

“Truthfully, I can see you two getting back together but not right now. Six months, a year or so, if you’re still feeling each other I can see you two rekindling your flame.”

“Has Christian said anything to you about this?”

Chris bit is bottom lip. “You know how easy it would be for me to lie to your right now don’t you?” Actually, I hadn’t even thought of that but I nodded. He sighed. “No, he hasn’t.”

“I see.”

“So what do you say? Will you give me a chance?”

I hadn’t noticed it while this was happening but now we were practically on top of each other. His hot, sultry breath tickled my skin while inciting my senses. “Please,” he begged. “Let me show you what love is.”

With that he leaned forward and covered my mouth with his. “Please,” he whispered in between kisses. “I love you.”

This. It was this that had gotten me into hot water with Christian in the first place. This was what was causing all of my turmoil yet, I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t say no, I couldn’t push him away. Instead I grabbed two fistfuls of his shirt and pulled him closer, making the kiss deeper and longer. Our breathing picked up as well. The limo stopped in front of the hotel and before we knew it, Mike was holding the door open for us, trying hard not to stare at what was unfolding before him. I opened my eyes and for the first time in five minutes, broke the kiss with Chris.

“Babe, we gotta go.”

I attempted to get out but he only pulled me back in. “You never answered me,” he said and kissed me again. “Are you going to give me a chance?”

“Can we talk about this when we get inside?”

“Only if you promise you’ll tell me what I want to hear.”

I grabbed his hand and led him out of the limo, into the hotel and to my room. The door quietly clicked shut. “Well…” he asked, grinning from ear to ear.

“Well…I was thinking about it..”

“And..”

“And, I think you’re right. I don’t think now is the time to force myself on Christian. I think we need some time apart and maybe a little later on in life we can…”

Chris cut me off with a forceful kiss, one that sent us tumbling backward onto the bed. “Just say it Abby. Say what you know I’m waiting to hear. Are you going to give me a chance?”

I smiled and nibbled on his bottom lip. “Only if you’ll do the same for me.”

Chris broke in to one of the biggest smiles I’d ever seen in my entire life and petted my hair. “I knew my dream would come true one day,” he whispered to me. His lips were barely touching mine. “Let’s never wake up.”

I awoke to the sound of Chris singing in the shower. The door was closed so it was a muffled, muted sound, especially underneath the lull of running water but still, spare notes managed to drift their way into my ears. I smiled and hugged the pillow that Chris had slept on and took a deep breath in. It smelled strong of his cologne, as I guess I did as well. We’d been all over each other last night. It was crazy and certainly never once like that with Christian. I sighed and rolled over to the other side, bringing Chris’s pillow with me. The blinds had never been closed so sunlight spilled into the room limitlessly. I remembered how beautiful Chris’s skin looked in the moonlight and how the lights from the city made everything seem so heavenly. I’d begged him not to close them.

I leaned over the side of the bed and picked up the glasses Chris had on last night. I wasn’t planning on getting out of bed anytime soon but when I did, I didn’t want to step on them.

The water shut off and I heard the shink of the shower curtain being drawn back. His singing continued but this time it was more choppy than usual. He would start and stop at various times to accommodate brushing his teeth and shaving what had grown during the night.

Chris walked back into the room in nothing but a towel and his necklace. His hair was spiked up form being wet and his skin looked so soft and warm underneath its thin layer of water droplets. He raised the edge of his towel to his face to wipe the water from his goatee before leaning over to kiss my nose. “Morning baby,” he said in a soft voice and sat at the edge of the bed.

I wrapped my hands around his waist and pressed my cheek up against his damp, clammy skin. He smelled so good. “Morning,” I greeted.

He pressed the button on the phone that was flashing a red light to let me know I had messages. He put it on speakerphone so we could both hear it. The first message played for us:

“Hey Abby, it’s J. I just wanna know if you know where Chris is. I know you guys went to dinner but I called his phone and no one answered. I called his room first, no answer and now I’m calling you. We’re kinda worried. Call me when you get this or have him call me. Thanks.”

We sat in silence as we waited for the next one.
“Hey Abby, it’s Lance. Uh, I think Justin called you earlier but I’m just calling to find out if you know where Chris is. And you’re not there so I guess not. Call J if you find him.”

The next message started with spastic breathing. No, the breathing was fine but there were just two people on the line. “Oh my God. Chris? Are you there? OH MY GOD, CHRIS WE LOVE YOU!…”

Chris shut off the answering machine at that moment and turned to me. “You see that? Everywhere I go, they find out. It’s like they all work for the CIA or something.”

I giggled and kissed his hipbone which was now sparsely exposed. I worked my way up to that spot on his neck that I’d found last night that he liked so much. I got the desired effect. His cheeks turned from a cool eggshell to warm pink in a little under four seconds. “You’re bad,” he whispered, his voice thick.

“I know,” I said and tugged on his ear with my teeth. A knock came on the door and I moaned. Why now?

Chris grunted softly then sighed. “It’s probably Justin wondering where the hell I’ve been.” He gave me a quick kiss and made his way toward the door, tightening his towel on the way there.

I grabbed Chris’s pillow again and hugged it close to me. This would have to do until he got back over here. I silently cursed Justin for having to interrupt us so early in the goddamn morning. The door opened and I opened an eye to check out our up with the sun visitor.

I went into partial cardiac arrest when I caught a glimpse of who was at the door. There, stood Christian, looking anything but well rested with a dozen red roses and a teddy bear in hand. Both of which dropped to the ground when he saw the state that Chris was in.
“Uh…” Chris was at a loss for words and I didn’t blame him.

I buried my head in Chris’s pillow and contemplated keeping it there until I suffocated. He bounded past Chris and into the room where he saw me under the covers wearing nothing but the orange shirt Chris had had on the night before. He gasped and put his hands over his face. “Oh , my, God,” he said, his voice muffled.

“Christian…”

“Don’t speak to me.”

“Christian nothing happened,” Chris said grabbed his towel to keep it from falling.

“You’re naked, she’s naked, I’m not an idiot.”

“I’m not naked, I’ve got boxers on.”

“Oh wow.”

I sat up. “Christian, really now. Nothing happened.”

“Nothing?”

“Well, we were kissing.”

“That’s why you have on his shirt.”

“I just didn’t want to wear my good clothes to bed.”

“Well dammit Abby, this IS your room. You have plenty of other clothes to choose from. I can’t even believe you’re sitting there, looking me in the eye and lying to me.”

“Whatever you think happened last night, didn’t.”

“Really, so you two didn’t have sex at all last night?”

“I’m gonna admit Christian, we came pretty close,” Chris interjected.

Christian shook his head. “You two make me sick, you know that?” He turned to me. “Especially you. You come to London shooting off at the mouth about how you hated those bastards from NSYNC, how you never even wanted to hear about them ever again and the second we come back you’re hopping into bed with them.”

“Christian, I thought we’d broken up.”

“I meant that little to you? That the second we break up you’re with another guy? There’s no grace period with you at all. You’re just a gold digging whore Abby. God, I should have known.”

Chris came to my defense. “How dare you say that to her. Don’t talk to Abby that way. She died the day you broke up with her and from what I’m seeing now, I don’t blame her for finding someone new.”

“Who do you think you’re talking to? You don’t know me. You don’t know what me and Abby have been through.”

“I know enough.”

My God. This was turning out to be worse than any prank, and stunt, anything that I had ever lived through. I prayed for someone else to walk in, something to happen so that they would stop fighting. I needed to get away and think about this whole situation all over again. But how would I get away? Where would I go?

What had I done?

This was all one big mess and I didn’t know how to clean it up. Christian and Chris were both physically inside of my room now with the door tipped shut and I was sure that everyone on the entire floor could hear the soap opera that was my life, unfolding. They’d both said things I didn’t understand and each time they did, they’d stop, look at me, look at each other and try to cover it as soon as possible. This got me to thinking. Turned out that thinking got me nowhere and I’d decided to act as the peacemaker and disengage this whole thing. Whether or not I’d be successful was up to them.

“Please guys, stop. Stop fighting. This is silly. You’re both acting like children.”

I put a hand on each of their shoulders but Christian stiffened at my touch and shrugged my hand off. “Don’t touch me.”

“Christian, I don’t want you two fighting over this.”

“Over ‘this’? What’s ‘this’? Is ‘this’ you? Is that what you think we’re doing? Fighting over you?”

“That’s what I’m doing.” Chris said hastily.

“Oh yeah? Why don’t you tell her the truth then Christopher?”

Oh no. I’d heard those words before and they never led to something good. Joey appeared at the door just then and pushed it open a bit. He wandered in like a child does his parent room early in the morning. His cheeks were slightly flushed and his hair was flat and unkempt. He wore red boxers, a black tee-shirt with the sleeves cut off and a plain, flat gold chain.  He finished rubbing his eyes and squinted at us through a sleepy haze. “What is going on?” he asked raspy voiced. “You guys are waking everyone up.”

“Sorry Joe, just go back to bed,” Chris said apologetically.

Joey tuned to head back out the door. “That was my original plan,” he mumbled on his way out.

“Original plan you say?” Christian asked, stopping Joey in his tracks.
He raised his voice, “You hear that Chris? Joey wants you to tell Abby your original plan.”

“Don’t do this Christian, I’m begging you..”

Joey turned around and shook himself awake as JC walked through the door. “Sleep…” JC whispered.

Joey grabbed JC’s bicept and shook him further awake. “Ow, what?” JC asked and looked at Joey as if he were mad.

Joey glanced at me quickly and then whispered something into JC’s ear which caused his eyes to shoot open. Christian in chuckled “See, JC knows the plan.”

I closed my eyes and fought back tears. “Chris, tell me there was no plan.”

“Tell the truth Chris,” Christian egged.

I wiped away a fallen tear. “What is it this time guys?”

They each looked away but Chris spoke. “This plan was not a prank,” he began. “Please don’t cry.” He reached for my cheek but I withdrew before he could reach me. I could see the beginning of tears forming in his eyes. “When you left for London I was devastated. So that night I called Christian and I asked him to keep an eye on you and treat you nicely. We got to talking and I convinced him to…”  Christian folded his arms and waited with a smug grimace. Chris took a deep breath and twiddled his fingers but went on. “I convinced him to date you so that I’d knew you were in good hands.”

He looked up at me to see how I was taking it. “Don’t stop, that’s not it.” Christian urged.

“Yes it is.”

“If you don’t tell her then I will.”

“Chris just tell me the truth, the whole truth,” I pleaded.

He took another deep breath. His eyes were red now from trying to hard to keep the tears from falling. “Then when you guys got here I told him to break up with you so you’d, well, so I could date you but he said he’d fallen in love with you and he couldn’t do that.”

“So he got mad and took you out, wined you and dined you and then kissed you and had it published in a magazine!” Christian accused.

“That is not true!” he turned to me, “That’s not true Abby. That night at Disney World was genuine. I didn’t tell anyone to take those pictures I swear to God, I swear to you Abby that was all an accident.”

“That was not an accident,” Christian interjected. “He’s nothing but a selfish bastard. He knew, I told him I was in love with you and he still planned to break us up. Maybe he thought it would work better than trying to win you on his own. Just, maybe, maybe it MIGHT work.”
I removed my head from the small of my hand where it now laid and sniffed once. “….but it just might work,” I remembered having heard someone say oh so long ago.

“But it just might work,” I said aloud.

“What just might work?”

I looked to Joey, JC and Chris. “I heard one of you say that outside of my hotel room when we first got here. What was that about?”
They looked at each other for a good five seconds and then shrugged. “We, we don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Joey. I don’t expect Joey to know because he wasn’t there but you, and you,” I said and pointed to Chris and JC respectively. “You two know what I’m talking about.” JC took a deep breath. “Tell me Josh, what was that about?”

Josh. Hmm. I’d never really called him that before but this was a desperate time and desperate times called for desperate measures and I figured the use of his given name would be as effective a measure as any.

“That was…that wasn’t anything,” he said softly.

“Tell me what you said.”

“It wasn’t..”

“Dammit JC, just TELL me!”

He rubbed his face hard and began. “Well, Chris told us that Christian wasn’t willing to break up with you so we decided we were going to try to get you to break up with him instead. It’s kind of ironic actually, how it happened in reverse.”

“What were you going to do?”

“We were going to take him to a club, give him some drinks and….”

“Introduce him to some girls,” Chris finished. “I have a friend who works in tech who was willing to..”

“To sleep with me?” Christian said, disgusted.

“What happened?” I asked. “ Why didn’t you go through with it?”

“When we asked him to go out for a few drinks he said no.”

“And do you remember WHY I said no?” Christian asked harshly.

“He said no because he wanted to spend the night with you.”

“You’re damn right. I can’t believe you guys would do that to me. Or Abby. You call yourselves friends but that couldn’t be farther from the truth.”

“I know it was low of us but , Abby, I just love you so much. I couldn’t see you come back and leave again like before. I couldn’t loose you twice. I would have died.”

I put my hands on Chris’s cheeks and looked into his eyes. No sign of betrayal there, just utter sorrow and regret but I knew how well these men were at hiding their true emotions. They did it damn near every day. Every time they had a bad day and a concert, they’d go out there and smile, laugh, act like they’re having a good time. Acting. That’s all it was. I tilted my head to the side, not knowing who to trust.

Christian ran to me and grabbed both of my wrists and faced me toward him. “You’re going to believe that? You’re going to take this liars word over mine?”

“Liar?!” Chris exclaimed. He took one of my wrists from Christian and pulled me back toward him a bit. “So what, you wanna listen to him? To the guy who, when things got a little rough decides to call your father and have you removed, FIRED from your job?!”

“That wasn’t my fault!”

“Just like the kiss wasn’t mine!”

That’s it. I’d had enough. “STOP!” I shouted and wrenched my wrists away from the both of them. “I can’t take this anymore. Everyone, just get out! I need time to think about this.”

“What’s there to think about?”

“Christian, please.” I said forcefully, “just give me 30 minutes.”

I watched each one of them leave and shut the door and locked it after they were all out. I keeled over onto my knees, spent from the events that had just occurred. I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Letting the steam from the water fill the air around me, I began to think about what I was going to do. I looked down at the counter through my tears and saw one of the rings that Chris usually wears. The whole bathroom spelled sweet of his aftershave and I couldn’t help basking in it. I’d have to forget how good it felt to be wrapped in his arms for the next twenty minutes at least, or until I could figure this whole thing out. I slowly stepped into the course rays of steaming water and wet my hair, letting the spray reach all the way down to my scalp. I exhaled heavily and took an equally heavy breath in. The next half hour was going to be the longest one of my life. I was so confused that even I wondered what I my verdict would be. I hope I made the right one.

“All of this happened this morning?” Justin asked as I ate the last of my Power Bar. I nodded in response. It had been later than I’d originally thought and before Chris, Christian and I could resolve all of this, we had to be at the venue for an exclusive meet and greet. “9 fucking thirty,” had been Justin’s exact words.

I looked from Justin to Lance then back to Justin again. They were both staring at me intently. “God,” I said and broke the silence. “I don’t know what to do.” I collapsed on the chair they usually sit in to get their make-up done. Lance sat on the chair arm and rubbed my back. Its okay, everything’s gonna turn out okay. You’re lucky actually. Both Chris and Christian are really great guys so no matter who you choose, you’ll be in good hands”

“Choose? I can’t possibly choose between them.”

Justin sat himself down in front of me India style.

“It’s simple. Who do you like being with the most?” he asked.

I shook my head. “I don’t know. Chris…being with Chris makes me feel a completely different way than being with Christian. But somehow, they’re both wonderful feelings. I mean, imagine you had to choose between only being able to see either Lance or JC again for the rest of your life. Who would you choose?”

Justin pondered on it for a moment. “Chris?”

I laughed. “No seriously.”

“I don’t know. There are things I can talk to JC about that I could never talk to Lance about and vice versa.”

“Right. It’s kinda like that for me.”

Lance stopped rubbing for a moment and thought. “Okay. How about this; of all the guys on this tour, if you could choose one, no questions asked, no hurt feelings, happy ever after, who would it be?”

My voice answered before my mind had time to think about it. “Joey.”
All of their eyebrows went up, not expecting to have heard that as an answer. Justin slapped Lance on the leg with the back of his hand. So hard it left a red mark on his calf.

“Why the fuck’d you ask her that?”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Boys, please,” I said and tensed up again, “I’ve heard enough fighting for one day.”  Lance resumed his massage and took a deep breath. “I didn’t mean to say Joey,” I confirmed. “It’s just a relapse of an automatic response from before that’s all.”

“Are you sure?” Justin asked.

I nodded, “Positive.”

I heard a knock on the door to the room and soon after, Ste poked his head through the crack of the door. “Can we come in?” he asked with eyebrows furrowed.

“Depends on who ‘we’ is,” I said. There were a few “we”s in particular that I didn’t want to see at the moment.

Ste grabbed Mark’s hand and held it through the crack as well. “Just me and Mark,” he revealed. I nodded and they entered, softly shutting the door behind them.

“How are you doing Abby?” Mark asked and stroked my hair.

“I don’t know. I’ve made a huge mistake. I can’t win. We’re all in this tour together and if I choose someone now it’s just going to cause all kinds of problems.”

“They both just want to see you happy,” Lance said, “We all do.”

“I’d much rather see you happy with Christian though,” Mark said frankly.

We all started at him. “Well come on, don’t act as though we’re not all cheering for one or the other because we are. “

I looked around the room at each person in a whole new light. Mark was right. They were each cheering for their bandmate as if it were all a game or a contest that had come out to a tie and I was the deciding vote. It didn’t make me mad though. It was nature to be competitive. But there was another take I’d seen that did disturb me. Every word, every touch, every hug given to me today was like a selling point. Every kind gesture directed towards me by Lance or Justin was a tic for Chris’s side and the same went for Mark, Ste and Christian. But this had gone beyond Chris and Christian. A win for Chris would be like a win for NSYNC and a win for Christian would be a win for BBMAK.
I stood up and walked to the other side of the room, away for the partisan bandmates of the two men involved. “What’s wrong?” Justin asked and rose to his feet.

I shook my head and held up a hand to stop him from advancing. “Nothing.”

I wanted to be alone but that would never happen now, especially since in a few minutes, Chris and Christian would be joining us for make-up. Yup, today was a double dose day. Both Christian and Chris were assigned to me, just as Steve had told me before.

I knew I’d have to declare my choice then and to say I wasn’t looking forward to it would be an understatement. My timing must have been off because at that moment, Chris and JC sauntered into the room, surprised at how many people they found there. My heart caught in my throat when Christian walked in the door as well. We all stood there for a moment, knowing what was about to go down but praying it wouldn’t. “Everyone…sit down,” I started off. This conversation would be ugly, brutish and anything but short.

I paced the length of the room with all eyes fastened on me. I’d decided to just start talking. What came out of my mouth would be as much of a surprise to me as it would be to them. “First I’d like to say I’m so sorry for putting all of you through this. I never meant for it to come to this.”

“None of us did,” Christian interrupted.

“Please, no talking okay? I just need to get this out.”

They all nodded or settled back into their seats, something to let me know they were ready to listen. I took a deep breath. “I’ll start with Christian.” BBMAK sat up. “Christian. I love you, you know I do.”
I was overwhelmed by the magnanimous amount of things I wanted to say so I took a short breath before continuing. “If what I’m saying seems haphazard, please forgive me.”

I walked up to my ex-boyfriend and placed my hands on his cheeks, letting them glide down to this jawbone and finally all the way down to his hands. “You are everything I’ve ever dreamed of in a man. I can honestly say that being with you makes me feel more secure, more protected, and more at home than any other person in this entire world.” My eyes settled on his. “I don’t know what happened that day you talked to my father. I don’t know why you did it, what you were trying to do or where I’d be if you’d succeeded but I know all of the answers are negative.”

I could feel my voice starting to crack. Christian must have been able to as well because he began petting my hair. “I don’t know how or if I can survive in a relationship where my boyfriend, my BEST friend, can’t even attempt to work something as simple as a stray kiss out with me before running to my father. There were plenty of times I got pissed at you or I’d sit alone crying and my dad offered to “speak” with you. Every time I said no. I don’t see why you couldn’t have done the same.”

That came out pretty well, so I thought. I looked around the room for the first time since I began my harangue of sorts. I couldn’t bring myself to look at the NSYNCers just yet but BBMAK all had pensive expressions. As if by thinking hard enough about it, they could change the past. I knew how they felt and if that’s all it took then I would have done it already. “Christian, I never meant to hurt you,” I confessed. “The first kiss with Chris…I’ll admit, I felt something but you have no idea how horrible I felt afterwards. I don’t know what I’ll end up saying in a few minutes but…whatever it is, know that I do, and always will, love you.” I planted a kiss on his furrowed forehead and turned to face Chris.

“Chris,” I said and let out a deep breath.

The door squeaked open then and we all looked over to see who had caused this untimely interruption. Joey and Steve both poked their heads in as if to ask “Is it okay if we come?” I waved for them to enter and close the door behind them. I could see in Justin and Lance’s eyes that they were concerned about what I might say now that Joey had arrived. They thought I might end up saying something I’d regret later on. I didn’t know what I was going to say but I sure as hell knew what I wasn’t and Joe was in the latter category.

I filled my lungs with oxygen and started again. “Chris. Last night, Disney World, they were both absolutely incredible. You bring out a part of me that I never knew I had. To tell he truth, after you guys left my room this morning, I went into the shower. I could smell your after shave and I honestly stood there for a good three minutes, wanting to run to the door and call you back just so I could feel your arms around me again.”

Oh, I knew it. I knew they would come and here they were. Tears slowly trickled down my flushed cheeks as I continued. “And…” I was getting so choked up I could barely speak. “I saw one of the rings that you left near the sink. The silver and black one,” he nodded and squeezed my hands. “And, I found an old chain of mine. I decided that I should give your ring a home, even if it is for only a couple more minutes.”

I pulled out my chain from where it laid beneath my shirt. Chris smiled but I frowned. “You’re wonderful to me Chris. You are and you’re a great friend but I was thinking about the plan you had when we came back. And about the prank. Chris, after that I lost all respect for you and all trust and although you’re well on the way to gaining it back, there is one thing that I just don’t…” I had to think of another way of putting this.

“You told me that you not only convinced Christian to date me but also asked him to dump me when we got back and why? Because that’s what you wanted. You wanted me and you were prepared to do anything to get me. How can I be with a guy who won’t take no for an answer? It’s an admirable trait but at the same time it’s your worst. So everytime I don’t do exactly what you want me to, you’ll make it so I have no other choice? I’m not a toy, Chris.”

“I don’t think you are..” he said, his voice trailing off in assumed defeat.

“Shh, babe. It’s okay.” I stepped away from Chris and back up so I could see all of them. I wiped my tears and sniffled. “I know,” I paused, “I know who it’s gonna be.”

My heart tore in two when I said those words. I didn’t want to have to let either of them go but this had to be done.

“Who?” Joey asked and looked up at me. I could almost hear the beatings of their hearts. I closed my eyes and begged the Lord for enough strength to do this. My whole body shook as I drew in the fateful breath…

“Christian,” I said trembling. I could hear NSYNC’s collective gasp while Christian ran to me and picked me up, squeezed me and spun me in tight circled. As if I weren’t nauseated enough.

As soon as he put me down I swirled around to face Chris. “Are you okay?”

“No,” he said and collapsed into the chair that JC had just that moment vacated.

“I’m sorry.”

He looked me dead in the eyes. “Just tell me why,” he pleaded. “I don’t get it. Last night we were feeling each other ..”

“I know we were. And I care about you Chris but I just realized that I’m in love with Christian. Even though I love you and care about you, it doesn’t match what I feel for him. I know that even if I were to be with you, you would always be second place in my heart. Runner up. That’s not fair to you. You deserve a girl who will love you as much as you love her. You’ll find her one day, I promise.” I wiped a tear from his cheek. “and when you do…” I took off the chain with Chris’s ring attached and placed it in his hand. “When you do, give this to her for me.”

I heard a knock on the door and Johnny’s voice came booming through. “What the hell are you guys doing in there? Meet and Greet’s, Soundcheck. I wanna see you all out here in less than 4 minutes. HURRY UP!”

There it was, I’d done it; but now I had Christian and Chris’s make-up to do. My battle wasn’t over yet but with the hardest part of out the way, I got my brush and went to work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sometimes, I look back on that day and wonder, if I had it to do over again, would I make the same choice? The answer is a resounding yes.
You see, had I said yes to Chris then, I wouldn’t be here at his wedding, listening to Justin make his speech. I wouldn’t be engaged to the love of my life and Chris may have never met his.

I’m not going to stand here in front of you and tell you that I knew from the beginning that I’d made the right choice. I’m not going to say I knew that I wouldn’t regret my decision because I had no clue what my future would hold. And I certainly didn’t know until now, how much I held in my hands that day in the venue. It’s scary to think of, but great to remember.

I looked around at all of the smiling faces and smiled myself. The morning was so beautiful. I was so glad that Hannah, Chris’s new wife had decided to have their wedding outside. Christian squeezed my hands as they called up the former members of NSYNC to the front of the skillfully, specially carved alter. They’d decided to perform again for everyone. For old time sakes I guess.

Regina tapped me on the shoulder and I looked back at her. “Christopher Alan…so cute,” she reminded me.

I smiled. Christopher Alan. When was the last time someone called him that? Ever since NSYNC broke up he’s gone by Topher. Sure I thought it was stupid but he needed a change.

Chris picked up the microphone as music played behind him. “First, I’d like to thank everyone for coming. You all mean a lot to me. I mean that,” he looked at me and winked. “Now, without further ado, for one day only, NSYNC is going to sing a song for you. And it goes a little something like this.”

I recognized this song. I looked at Christian and the look in his eye revealed its identity. “Christian, you didn’t!”

“I did.”

The song was one of their old ones off of the On The Line soundtrack called ‘Don’t Look Down’. It had always been my favorite but at least this time I knew that it was for Hannah and not for me. I smiled and listened to them sing the rest of the song. They got a standing ovation at the end but they weren’t through yet.

“Before we go,” Lance said, “we’ve got to do this one.” He looked at his former bandmates and best friends. “Can we do it?” he asked them. They all nodded. “All right. This is the LAST time we do this cause, we’ll probably all have heart attacks before we’re done.”
Everyone laughed, wondering what this song would be. Lance nodded to the band and the beginning of ‘Pop’. Everyone laughed and cheered as they nailed each and every one of their dance steps, in more sync than I’ve ever seen them. When it was over another standing ovation was in order and pictures were even taken of them in their last “boy band” pose. I’d seen enough of those to never forget what they looked like as NSYNC so instead Christian and I decided to just get going. We’d catch up with Chris later. It wasn’t like he didn’t come over every Friday night to hang out with us anyway.

I opened my program again once I was in the limo and what should float freely to the ground but a small white envelope, scented in Romance Men. “This can’t be happening,” I said softly to myself and opened it subtly. Inside was a note. From Chris I assumed.

My dearest Abigail, So we made it. Through all of the crap, all of the hurt, all of the pain and look at us now. Two grown individuals, starting their own lives. I never said thank you for doing what you did and I’m sorry. I know now why you chose Christian over me and although I’ve already shown my feelings, I just wanted to say them officially. You made the right choice. I was selfish and I didn’t deserve to get you that way. You’ve made the more of a man and I thank you for it. There aren’t enough words in all of the languages in the world that can express how much you mean to me but before you go, listen to NSYNC’s CD’s and think of how many songs can/do apply to you. You’ll be surprised.
Well I guess that’s all I have to say. Take care and make sure Christian is good to you. I love you girl. See you Friday.
A wink and a hug,
Christopher Alan Kirkpatrick

THE END