Jordan Williams hated this time of the day. It was the pivotal time between second to third period, where there was more time allotted for retrieving books, or just walking the halls aimlessly. More importantly it was the time that all the sports players graced the halls with their presents. She absolutely hated this time of the day.

There he was.

It always played in her mind like a slow motion movie. Justin Timberlake, the most popular senior in school, walked through the halls high fiving all the guys that wanted to be him, and hugged all the girls that probably wanted to fuck him – or at the very least be seen with him.

His long legs were covered in a loose pair of jeans; he was wearing his letterman jacket over a plain white t-shirt. His curls looked to have been freshly chopped; only curling a little at the top. He and his group of friends made their way down to her end of the hall, causing her to quickly recite her locker combination in her head, spinning the locker in its right ways, and hiding her head in her locker.

Jordan knew that Justin never noticed her, never even looked her way unless for some odd reason she was doing something embarrassing and his friends should happen to notice and point it out. But he never went out of his way to even glance at her, today was no different, and yesterday was no different. But still, every single day at the same exact time she would throw her head into her locker and wait for them to turn the corner to their next class.

“Aren’t you a little sick of this routine?�

Jordan turned to see one of her best friends, Jimmy Harris, staring at her amusingly – probably holding back a laugh. His brown hair was slicked back with an obscene amount of hair product, his glasses perched high on top of his nose, and his buttoned down plaid shirt hung closely to his gangly frame.

“What routine?� She asked, busying herself with fixing up the contents in her locker, and getting the books she needed for her next class.

“You do this every day, Jordan. You come to your locker, you see Justin and his goons and then your head’s in the locker.�

“I don’t do it everyday,� she mumbled to herself. But she did, every single day she did. And if Jimmy noticed, then there was a great chance that other people noticed. “It just so happens that when he’s coming down the halls …I need to get my books out.�

“That would make sense,� he nodded. “But that doesn’t quite explain why your heads so far in there that you might as well climb in there and close the door.�

“What do you want?� She turned, giving him a bored look. Jordan just wasn’t in the mood for his jokes. “Don’t you have someone else to annoy at this time?�

“No, just you, honey.�

“Fun.�

“But really, I don’t even know why you get like this. I’m not sure Justin Timberlake even knows you’re alive,� he admitted something so painfully obvious to her already. “You could probably walk right in front of him, and he’d just circle around you only because they haven’t mastered the art of walking right through us yet.�

Right as the sentence left his mouth, Justin walked past them, and Jordan couldn’t help but to discreetly stare at him from the corner of her eye. It was probably only her imagination, but she could’ve sworn he threw a look their way. But that never happens, so why would it happen now?

“I don’t know why I get like this, either,� she finally answered after she was sure Justin and his friends were out of ear shot. “I know he doesn’t notice me. He never has, he never will. And still …� she trailed off, glancing at the floor, feeling foolish.

“You can’t help it? It seems to be that way for a lot of girls,� Jimmy assured her, rubbing her upper arm soothingly. “You’re a female with hormones, and Justin’s not exactly an ugly guy …�

“I think you’ve succeeded in making me feel better and also admitting you may be slightly gay all at the same time,� she gave him a cute smile before turning to finish getting the rest of her books. She needed books for geometry and English.

“You’re so funny,� he deadpanned. “But I came to walk you to lunch,� he offered, grabbing her books for her.

“Thanks,� she smiled. “And only walking me? You’re not eating?�

“Nah,� he shook his head, following after her after she locked her locker and started walking towards the cafeteria. “I really need to be in study hall. I have a test coming up, and it’s really no joke.�

“Well, that sucks. Who else’s plate am I going to sneak food off of when they’re not looking?�

“I’m afraid you’ll have to find someone else to mooch off of.�

“I guess so.�

“Are you really likin’ Justin, though?� Jimmy pondered, his strong southern accent accentuating every word. Jordan had never cared about Justin walking through the halls, or anything that had to do with him or any of the jocks at school. But ever since senior year started, she had been acting really strange when it came to him.

“I don’t know!� She exasperated. “I mean, I’ve always had some sort of crush on him since preschool. But I’m a girl, and he’s a guy,� she rationalized. “That’s what happens when you have hormones and emotions and all the other bullshit that comes with being a female,� she laughed. “I don’t know what’s going on with me. I’ve just become very aware of him.�

Jimmy stared at her for a few moments without saying anything. He could tell that she was having an inner war with herself; almost like she was pained by the thought of liking him. He couldn’t lie if he admitted, even if only to himself, that he was disappointed by it.

“It’s normal,� he shrugged his lanky shoulders. “He’s popular, he’s tall, he has blue eyes …�

“Again with the gay,� Jordan snickered.

“Look, I’m trying to make you feel better,� he said seriously, but couldn’t help but crack a smile. “But it is normal. You just have to remind yourself of what type of guy Justin is, and what kind of people we are. He’s popular and you’re not. And if he did for some unknown reason finally show some sort of acknowledgement towards you …I’d find it weird.�

“Yeah …�

Jordan knew all of this, but still, the boy was fucking hot. There was no denying it. Justin wasn’t that cute of a kid or even a preteen, but his teenage days have been truly kind to him.

“And I’m really not saying all of this to break down any self esteem you may have. I’m just stating facts.�

“You’re right,� she granted.

“And Jordan,� he started as they rounded the corner and walked up to the double doors leading into the cafeteria.

“Yes?� Her light brown eyes looked up at him curiously.

“Don’t let this little crush nonsense go past my ears, because if his friends, hell even the girls found out this bit of information …�

“Yeah, I know,� she dismissed, not even wanting to share it with him. “They’d tear me apart.�

“Like a bunch of pit bulls fighting over the last piece of meat.� Jimmy handed back her books before offering her something else, “You’re a phenomenally awesome chick. You’ll just be phenomenally awesome for someone else.�

Jordan genuinely smiled at that. Jimmy knew just the right way to make her feel better, not only about herself but about any problem she was having.

“Thanks Jim,� she stood on her tippy toes to ruffle his hair, forgetting that it was matted down with gunk. She made a face, wiping the goo on her hands on her jeans. “That Chelsea is a lucky girl to have you,� she informed him.

Chelsea was just as “nerdy� as Jimmy was, maybe even more. They bonded over their love of chess and have had a successful relationship ever since.

“Thanks,� Jimmy blushed, looking down at his chucks, before looking back at his friend. “So, you’re gonna eat.� He said in more of a statement than a question.

“Yeah, I’m just gonna grab something quick in there and study outside. It’s really nice out today,� she referred to the exceptionally nice September day. It was cool enough for a jacket, but warm enough to where you didn’t need it if you didn’t want it. It was perfect.

“Yeah, it is,� he agreed. “Well, I’m gonna get down to study hall, but if I don’t see you later on I’ll give you a call tonight, okay?�

“Okay,� she wrapped her arms around him in a friendly hug. Jordan watched him jog down the halls before entering the cafeteria.


***

Justin really didn’t know what he was doing. He saw her walk in, grab a sandwich, a bag of chips, and a bottle of water, then watched as she exited the cafeteria. Before he knew it he was following her outside, slow enough so she couldn’t sense him behind her, but fast enough to keep up with her.

Jordan was sitting on top of a picnic table in front of a big oak tree oblivious to pretty much everything around her. Justin looked around nervously, there weren’t a lot of people outside right now, anyone who mattered was in the cafeteria. Where he should’ve been. Yeah, he should definitely be in there with the rest of his friends, where he belonged.

Jordan was a loner, Justin knew this. But she wasn’t a loner because anyone shunned her out; it was of her own accord. She wanted to be. She loved having the friends that she did, and from his stand point it didn’t bother her that she wasn’t popular. She seemed shy. Every time he passed her in the halls she’d turn around, but maybe that’s just because she didn’t like him. He didn’t know, tried not to think of it too much. There were plenty of girls who did like him, and he didn’t have to wonder if they did. Not that he wondered that much at all about her.

But he could admit, in the solace of his own mind, that Jordan wasn’t an ugly girl. He’d even branch out even further to say she was quite pretty. She was bi-racial, so that in itself was kind of weird for a lot of people especially in Memphis, Tennessee. But that had just made her that much more exotic to him. He’d always had a thing for black girls, never really jumped on it, but he definitely did notice them. She had long thick black hair, caramel skin, and the sexiest pair of hazel brown eyes he’d ever seen.

Not that he thought about her appearance all that much, because he didn’t.

He turned around, fully intent on walking back inside and being with his friends. He shouldn’t be out there anyway. But he couldn’t get his legs to process what his mind was telling them. Instead he walked over and offered a, “Hi.�

Jordan was taken aback from Justin standing right in front of her, seemingly looking at her and not through her. “Hi …� She had to look behind her just to make sure he was indeed talking to her.

“You’re Jordan right?�

“Yeah …that’s me.�

“My name is Justin.�

“Yeah, I’m well aware of who you are. The whole school is.�

“Whatcha doing?� Justin stuffed his hands deep into his front pockets, rocking back and forth on the heel of his feet.

Jordan narrowed her eyes but answered politely, “Nothing.�

“Huh …� Justin looked around nervously, making sure no one was watching. “Why are you out here by yourself?�

“Um …I’m just getting some studying done,� she lifted up her notepad to show him the words scribbled on the paper. Justin took this opportunity to take a seat next to her, leaning over to look at her geometry book. “What are you doing out here?� Was the better question.

“Oh, uh,� he looked around, again, nervously. It was making Jordan self conscious, causing her to turn and observe her surroundings as well. He shook his head. “I just …wanted to see what you were up to.�

Jordan didn’t really know what to say to that, so she stayed quiet, glaring at him curiously. This was so weird and awkward. They had never said more than two words to each other, and now all of a sudden he wanted to “see what’s up�? Strange.

“I’m not bothering you, am I?� Justin suddenly wondered. She was studying after all. “I can leave.�

“No!� She answered hastily, and then blushed. “No, no, you’re not bothering me. It’s just that I don’t ever see you out here unless you’re with your friends.�

Justin grinned at her. “Okay, cool.�

“Cool,� she repeated.

“So… geometry? We don’t have a test today do we?�

“No …uh,� she laughed. “We don’t.�

“What’s funny?�

“This is just kind of strange,� she blurted out in a rare moment of honesty.

“What’s strange?�

“You’ve never even given me a second look. You never talk to me. I wasn’t even aware that you knew my name much less knew that we had classes together.�

“I’ve noticed you.�

“You have?�

“Yeah – I mean, why wouldn’t I?�

“You certainly don’t say anything.�

“Don’t take that the wrong way,� he apologized. “I’m just …I’m a busy guy. I hardly say anything to a lot of people.�

“Now we both know that’s not true,� she shifted her gaze down to her notebook, not wanting to notice how blue his eyes were at this moment.

“You must think I’m a jerk,� he laughed incredulously.

“It’s a safe assumption that all jocks are jerks.�

“I’m not like that,� Justin leaned down, trying to gain eye contact again. When she looked up he said, “I’m really not.�

“Sure,� she reconsidered. “Maybe not all of the time.�

Jordan couldn’t believe that she was having this conversation with Justin, of all people to have any type of conversations with. The whole exchange was slightly uncomfortable.

“So you’re friends with that Jimmy guy, right?� Justin decided to ask, not liking the way the conversation had turned.

“Yeah, Jimmy’s a really good friend of mine,� she replied.

“That’s cool. How good of a friend?�

“What?�

“Scratch that --,� he rubbed the back of his neck uncertainly. “What’s the situation with you and him anyway?� He rephrased.

“The situation …?� Jordan still wasn’t following. And she couldn’t understand why the hell he was asking about Jimmy.

“Are y’all dating …I guess is what I’m trying to get at.�

“Are we dating?� Jordan laughed out loud. She was going to answer truthfully, but then decided to ask, “Why?�

“No real reason,� he lied. “Just curious.�

“Curious for what?�

“Just curious.�

“There’s always a reason for curiosity.�

“This is true,� was all he offered. “I see you and Jimmy together all the time, and I see the way he looks at you –,�

“The way he looks at me?� That caused her to laugh again. “He doesn’t look at me any kind of way.�

“Well, that’s up for debate,� he contested.

“He has a girlfriend,� she answered honestly. “Who isn’t me, if you didn’t catch that.�

Justin grinned. “I thought so, but I wasn’t for sure. Like I said, I see the way he looks at you.�

“And, again, I assure you that he doesn’t look at me any type of way.�

“Okay,� he threw up his hands in defense. “If you say so.�

Jordan checked the time on her watch, they had been talking for close to fifteen minutes, and she still hadn’t figured out what made him venture out this far to talk to her. She didn’t want to push him, he seemed nervous as it was to even be talking to her as simply as they were. Several times in between their conversation he would look around, and at first she didn’t know why, but when the bell rung and his head quickly darted up to see if anyone had walked out, she was catching on.

“Let me take a guess,� her voice brought his attention back to her. “You keep looking around like you don’t want to be caught talking to me. Your friends don’t know you’re out here. Do they?� She realized.

“What?� He dismissed the accusation. “My friends …they know where I’m at. And why does it matter if they do or don’t? They don’t run my life. It doesn’t matter who I talk to,� he lied, inconspicuously trying to keep tabs on who was walking out the school door.

“Look …� Jordan sighed. “If it’s going to be such a stab to your reputation to be seen conversing with me, maybe you should go.�

“Jordan, it’s not like that,� Jordan interjected. “I promise it’s not,� again, he was lying.

“Justin, you keep doing it.�

“But not because of you, it’s just …I have somewhere to be, and I don’t want to be late.�

She didn’t believe him, but she was making it clear to herself that it didn’t matter. She was giddy at the beginning of the conversation, because what girl wouldn’t be? But it was slowly becoming painfully clear that he was all of the things she knew he would be. And she didn’t like it.

“Well, maybe you should get to that then.�

“Jordan …�

“I have more studying to do, so if you don’t mind.�

Jordan appeared unaffected, but inside it was kind of killing her that she let herself get all hyped up for nothing.

Dejectedly, Justin hung his head, sighing. He didn’t want to leave the conversation in such a bad way, but lunch time was already over, and he had made a risk even coming out to talk to her. He’d have to figure out a way to talk to her somewhere safe, somewhere he couldn’t get caught. His friends …they just wouldn’t understand.

“I’ll talk to you later?� Justin stood up, jumping off the chair of the picnic table, staring at her expectantly. But when she only glanced at him without a word before returning back to her notebook, he knew that the conversation was over, and she had nothing left to add.

Jordan watched Justin make the long walk back into the school building.

And if he did for some unknown reason finally express some sort of acknowledgement towards you …I’d find it weird.

Jimmy was right. It was definitely weird.

Jordan was enjoying a night out with her friends Jimmy, Mallory, and Rachael at the local Dairy Queen. It was around ten thirty on a windy Saturday night, and Jordan couldn’t have been happier to get away from the stress of the day with her friends and some decent soft serve. The girls ordered banana splits while Jimmy stuck with the simple vanilla cone. Now they were seated comfortably at an empty table outside, dwindling down from the idle teenage conversations, and sat enjoying the sound of the wind blow through the trees.

Her week had been hellish, home life mixed with tons of homework, trying to figure out what type of college she wanted to go to. Her plate was already full and everything else was piling onto it. It was becoming hard to bear.

Jordan swirled around the syrup, sprinkles, and the little bit of melted ice cream left in the bottom of her plastic bowl.

“I think my parents are going to get a divorce,� she blurted into the still night, pushing her bowl away no longer having an appetite. The silent group turned to her, shock signaling on their young faces, but they didn’t say anything. “I really think they might.�

She had felt this way for some time, and to actually get it out in the open lessened the strain on her brain, the tightening of her chest.

“What?� Jimmy asked, slightly dumbfounded. “What makes you think that?�

“They argue all the time, and when they’re not arguing then they’re just not speaking. My dad …he leaves in the middle of the night and doesn’t come back for three or four days. My mom is constantly at work or at home crying her eyes out. I don’t see how it can last much longer this way,� she explained gloomily, sighing.

Jordan’s parents were the typical southern couple that other couples aspired to be. They were high school sweet hearts, married after college, and lived happily ever after raising their children. Or at least that’s how it used to be. Her dad got a snazzy promotion that meant more money in turn for longer nights at the office. Her parents were arguing every other night because of it. It’d usually end with one of them apologizing to the other, but it would fire right back up the next week. It was a continuous circle that never seemed to stop and hasn’t stopped since it started.

“They’re always so nice and seem to work so well together. Whenever I’m at your house it doesn’t seem like they have any problems,� Mallory mentioned optimistically. “Maybe it’s just a phase they’re going through. Like a mid life crisis or something. Adults do that sometimes.�

Mallory and Jordan had been inseparable since the third grade. They went through everything together, their first period, their first crush, their first heart break. Mallory had no doubt that this would be another thing to add on the list of things they’d defeat together.

“I don’t think so,� Jordan disagreed. “They’re not the same people when they’re together anymore. It’s like they bring the worst out of each other, and it’s supposed to be the exact opposite, it used to be. And of course they’re going to act like that when other people are around. They surely don’t want to be the talk of the town.�

“It could get better,� Jimmy offered enthusiastically.

“Yeah …it could,� Rachael inserted.

Jordan shook her head pitifully, feeling sorry for herself. She knew her friends didn’t want her to worry, but she did worry about it. The only thing she could do was worry about it when she was constantly surrounded by it. It was getting so bad that she didn’t want to be home most of the time, and that used to be the total opposite. She was one of the few teenagers that loved spending time with their parents. In her mind her parents were the coolest. They always took her on fun trips, they always cared about what she was going through, and they always spent time doing things she enjoyed doing and never forced her to do the stuff she didn’t.

“I’ve always had my parents together …the thought of that changing now makes me physically sick to my stomach.�

“Hey,� Rachael turned towards her, placing her hand on her knee, rubbing it back and forth. “It’s not so bad when it comes down to it. Justin’s parents are divorced. And sure it’s hard on him sometimes, but they get along so much better now. It really was for the best.�

Rachael was of course referring to her infamous cousin that Jordan has spoken to days earlier. And although Jordan had visibly winced at the mention of Justin, no one took much notice. She had no clue how they were related, and not only that but they were pretty close. Rachael was popular on her own accord, but she acted nothing like Justin, and wasn’t ashamed to be seen with anyone who wasn’t deemed popular by the masses. She was infinitely cooler than her cousin, and Jordan cared about her a lot.

“But I don’t want that. I don’t want to coexist with them, and have to go back and forth from his house to her house. I don’t want to intercept conversations for them because they don’t know how to communicate on their own. It’s seriously not something I can picture myself being okay with.�

“Nobody wants that,� Mallory spoke gently. “We always want our parents to stay together, but sometimes it doesn’t work that way.�

Mallory’s parents were never married, but they were together for much of Mallory’s childhood. Unfortunately her dad couldn’t keep his hands to himself and her mom got sick of being at the brunt of his literal punch lines. They left him a month before she turned thirteen and never looked back. She had no communication with him at all, and even though he abused her mom and she knew that she should hate him, she didn’t.

“I feel like it’s my fault,� she told them, tensing up at the thought. “It has to be my fault. I must’ve done something.�

“Don’t do that,� Rachael shook her head vehemently. “Don’t blame yourself for anything. Justin did that, too. It wasn’t his fault then and it’s not your fault now.�

“She’s right,� Mallory stared at her friend. “You said so yourself – your dad is away a lot. And the promotion was a big change …maybe that’s all it is.�

“And whatever it is, they have to figure it out on your own. You can’t stress yourself out over this,� Rachael said.

Jimmy watched closely to Jordan’s body language, and he knew she would break pretty soon. She had never been the one to break down in front of a group of people, not even in front of him, and he would be damned if he allowed her to do it tonight.

“Can I talk to Jordan alone for a second?� He asked the two girls sweetly, giving them a look that told them everything.

They caught on pretty quickly, excusing themselves to go use the restroom inside of the restaurant.

“I don’t know, Jimmy. Maybe people just don’t stay together anymore. You always hear about this kid’s parents splitting up, or this other kid going through something similar, but you never think it could be you.�

Jimmy scooted closer to Jordan, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. She tensed up from the contact, but it didn’t move him. “Don’t blame yourself, Jordan. You didn’t do anything; it’s really not your fault. Maybe they’ll get over this, and you know what, maybe they won’t. But you can’t sit around here depressed thinking they might.�

Jordan zipped up her green hoodie, instantly feeling colder than she had before, hugging herself away from the wind and trying to block the thoughts inside of her head. She bit her lip hard, feeling it tremble, knowing the last thing she wanted to do was cry over something that was only a theory and hadn’t proved true yet. She always viewed crying as a weakness, because up until now she had very little to cry about, her life had been pretty good.

“I love them, Jimmy,� she proclaimed. “I love my parents …I love them together. I don’t want them to break up, or get a divorce, or some other stupid shit. I don’t see how you handled it.�

Jimmy’s parents had divorced when he was ten. He was a lot younger, which was probably why it was easier to accept than if he had been Jordan’s age, but it still hurt to some degree.�

“You handle things just fine when you have no other choice. It wasn’t something I wanted, and if they could get back together today …I’d love it.�

“So then you see where I’m coming from.�

“Of course I do. But you do know that if they did decide to get a divorce that you’d have to come to terms with it, and there would be nothing you could do about it.�

“But maybe I could talk to them …make them see.�

“Jordan, there is no amount of planning, or plotting, or talking that would change their minds if that’s what they really felt like they needed to do. The only thing you can do is find a way to not resent them, and most importantly you’ll have to find a way to live with it. It won’t be easy, and it’ll be a hard adjustment, but you can do it. And believe it or not life does go on.�

“I just don’t get how two people who claim they love each other can be this fucking selfish! How can they not remember how much they care about each other?� The tears that she had tried so hard to stop were spilling down her chubby cheeks. She sniffled quietly, trying to wipe them away as fast as they fell, but she couldn’t get them all.

“It’s okay to cry,� Jimmy encouraged. His grip on her shoulder tightened, he rubbed her upper arm in the way that only he could. “It’s okay.�

“And I feel so stupid,� she licked her lips, tasting the salt from her tears. “I’m crying over something that hasn’t even happened yet. But you should hear them, Jim. You don’t say the shit that they say to each other when you still love someone. It’s only a matter of time.�

“You don’t know that.�

“It’s only a matter of time,� she repeated more firmly.

“Like Mallory said before, maybe it’s something they’re going through. Maybe it’s not. You don’t need to concern yourself with it until you get there. Don’t jump to conclusions just because it sounds bad right now.�

“I hope y’all are right,� she coughed. Still wiping the tears that were falling, even though she felt slight better, it was going to weigh down on her until she got to the bottom of it. “I really don’t want to have to deal with it.�

“Even on the off chance that you might, think of it this way: you’ll have two bedrooms, two TVs, and two parents trying very hard to make it up to you.�

Jordan laughed into a few hiccups, making Jimmy smile adoringly. She quickly embraced him into a tight hug. “I don’t know what I do without you,� she professed into his shoulder. His hand found its way into her thick hair, running his fingers through it.

“I don’t know what I would do without you,� he closed his eyes tightly, sniffing her hair lightly. She always had the most awesome scent, vanilla and strawberries, or maybe some other fruit, but definitely always vanilla. It was so intoxicating.

She pulled back, but stayed cradled in his arms. “You’ll never have to worry about that one. We’ll always be friends.�

Friends.

The word echoed through Jimmy’s brain, taunting him. The truth of the matter was that Jimmy didn’t want to be condemned as Jordan’s friend. He loved her on a deeper level that even he couldn’t understand, so how could he make her understand it? He was harboring feelings for years, too cowardly to admit them, and he knew in his heart that Jordan wouldn’t accept him in that way. He wasn’t sure what her type was, her relationships limited to only a few, but he knew for sure that it couldn’t be him.

“Where’d you go?� She flashed her hand in front of his face, her doe eyes staring up at him curiously. “You zoned out.�

“Oh,� he chuckled uncomfortably. “I was just thinking …�

“About?�

“You don’t want to know …trust me,� he warned.

“Okay, now I really want to know,� she pushed.

“You really don’t,� he tried easing out of her arms, but she held on tighter.

“What’s wrong?� Jordan frowned, tilting her head to the side.

“It’s nothing.�

“But it’s obviously something. You’re acting weird now. Tell me what you were thinking about.�

“You don’t want to know,� he kept repeating, but she didn’t understand.

“Well, I don’t want to tell you,� he reconsidered.

“You know as well that I do that I’m not going to give up until you give in. So, what’s the big deal?�

“Jordan …� Jimmy whined.

“Jimmy …� she mocked in the same tone.

He stared in her eyes, getting lost in the different shades of dark brown and light brown. His eyes shifted downward over her buttoned nose and her extremely pouty lips. He found her so undeniably gorgeous, and he was getting lost in the imagination that his mind was trying to conceive. The thought that maybe she could feel the same way, that he would never know what she felt about him if he didn’t let it out. Dairy Queen wasn’t exactly the location, and this wasn’t how he wanted to tell her, but maybe it wasn’t supposed to be perfect. Her reaction would e the same anywhere so it didn’t matter.

Just say it. Tell her, get it over with, so she can laugh at you and you can hopefully disappear into a black hole.

“This is embarrassing,� his voice cracked.

“Stop it,� she placed her hand over his that was on his leg. “We don’t get embarrassed with each other.�

“We also don’t tell each other stuff like this.�

“If you don’t tell me I’m going to punch you in the face. Stop being so weird and just say it!�

He couldn’t help but laugh. She had the most adoring way of making any situation funny. Jordan was that damn charming.

“Okay,� he breathed out. “If I tell you this, which I have no choice since you’re threatening to harm me,� he laughed. “Then you have to promise that it won’t get weird. And it won’t affect us. I really don’t want to tell you this and then you get fucking shifty on me.�

“Stop trying to confuse me and just tell me it.�

“I’m not trying to confuse you.�

“Jimmy Marshall Harris …� she started sternly.

“Okay, okay!� He gave up. “Jordan …I. Have you ever,� he stopped. “Do you ever think that …� his voice trailed off. Jordan noticed that his focus wasn’t on her anymore, but on something behind her.

“Hey guys,� Justin interrupted uncertainly, walking up to their table. Jimmy looked relieved, breathing out deeply. He knew that it must’ve been a sign. He wasn’t supposed to tell her, not here, not yet. Jordan wasn’t as thrilled, staring menacingly at the interrupter. “What’s up?�

“Not much. What’s up with you?� Jimmy asked nicely.

“Actually, if you must know we were in the middle of something,� Jordan responded back curtly.

“I’d really like to talk to you alone if I could.�

“Whatever you have to say to me you can say in front of Jimmy, or you don’t need to say it,� she crossed her arms stubbornly.

It wouldn’t be easy, but Justin was determined to get back into her good graces. He stared long and hard at her, mostly admiring her appearance, before giving Jimmy a pleading glance.

“Actually …I’m going to see what’s up with Rachael and Mallory.�

“Jimmy�! Jordan sneered at him wide eyed; she couldn’t believe he was trying to abandon her with this guy. “You’re not leaving.�

“I’m not gonna be far. Just over there,� he pointed at his car, “Until you’re ready.�

“You’re just doing this so you don’t have to tell me what we were talking about!�

“I’ll be back,� he reassured her with a smile, leaving the two of them alone.

Jordan sat there quietly, while Justin pondered his plan of attack. Leaving her the way he did a few days earlier obviously had changed her attitude, she wasn’t the same person he introduced himself to.

“Why don’t you dress like this at school?� He referred to her denim skirt, tank top and hoodie combination. She wore jeans, shorts, and shirts but nothing as cute as what she was wearing tonight.

She raised her eyebrow at him, “Because I’m going to school to learn. Not to be in a fashion contest.�

“I wasn’t trying to offend you,� he refuted.

“Too late for that.�

The awkward conversation dissipated into silence. It wasn’t going the way that he had planned. He wasn’t used to working for someone’s respect, but he didn’t mind it.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you, really.�

“What are you doing here?�

“Just hanging out, same as you,� he shrugged.

“Waiting for your friends?�

“Yeah,� he answered quickly, not wanting to get on the subject of his friends. “Listen about the other day --,�

“You probably shouldn’t stand so close then, wouldn’t want them to think you’re talking to me,� she chastised childishly.

Justin frowned deeply at her pretension. He didn’t want her to think he was like that, although part of him was exactly like that, but not the part of him that wanted to get to know her better.

“Don’t do that please.�

“Don’t do what?� She shrugged nonchalantly. “Tell it like it is? Do you not like honesty? I know that’s not high on you or your friend’s priority list. People go around kissing your ass everyday, so you’re probably not used to it. Anyway, we both know what’s going to happen when they get here, so …�

“I was acting stupid the other day. I’m really sorry about it, but you don’t have to treat me this way.�

“Psh, don’t act like I gave it another thought,� she rolled her eyes, turning a little to show that she didn’t really want to have this conversation or any conversation with him.

Her feistiness proved otherwise. Jordan had given it a second thought, third, and even a fourth thought. She let her hormones get the best of her, and forgot just what type of person Justin was. But thankfully Justin proved what kind of doucebag he really was. Concerned only with the reputation of his peers and nothing else, she didn’t need someone like that in her life.

“I really didn’t mean to walk away from you like that. But you know how people at school are,� he explained lamely. “They feel like people like you and me shouldn’t talk and I fall into it. And it’s stupid – I don’t know.�

Jordan looked him over, and it pissed her off even more that she couldn’t look at him without getting butterflies in his stomach. Dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a plaid buttoned down shirt, but unlike Jimmy he wore it ten times better. She hated how gorgeous he was, and if she could put a paper bag over his head it’d be easier for her to be a bitch towards him.

“You’re right it is stupid.�

“It’s so stupid.�

Jordan rolled her eyes again. “Admitting that it’s stupid doesn’t make you any less stupid for falling into the shit.�

“You’re right …�

“What is this about anyway? What’s your game?�

“My game?� His forehead creased in confusion.

“You never used to talk to me; you’ve never tried to talk to me. So, what’s this new found infatuation with me?�

“I’m not infatuated with you,� he scoffed.

“Then what is it! Because every single time I turn around lately here you are.�

“I didn’t even know you were going to be here!�

“You’re boring me, Justin. Just get to whatever pointless point you’re here to make so I can leave.�

“I really didn’t know you were going to be here. And then I bumped into Rachael and she told me about your parents …�

“She what?� She whipped her head up to look at him.

“Yeah, she told me.�

“Your cousin has a big ass mouth,� Jordan shook her head disapprovingly. If she wanted Justin to know, she would’ve told him.

“Yeah,� he chuckled. “She can’t keep anything to herself. But she was telling me about how your parents are arguin’ and shit and what you think about it. I just wanted to let you know that I’ve been there, so if you need someone to talk to …�

Justin didn’t know why, but he always felt so nervous around this girl. His infatuation wasn’t “new found� as Jordan had put it, as a matter of fact he had always had his eyes on her, but could never tell her. Was afraid to tell her, didn’t know what she would think, what everyone else would think. So he settled for watching her from afar, always wanting to strike up a conversation, or invite her out somewhere, but he never could get the nerve to do it. But it was his last year of high school and he’d be damned if he missed his chance completely. He didn’t want to look back on this time and think of her as the one that got away.

“I know you feel like you’re providing some sort of service by coming here and trying to relate to me, but we don’t relate in any way. We’re two totally different people, going through two totally different things. So as much as I appreciate your help, no thanks.�

“I don’t feel like I’m servicing you. I just wanted to help.�

“Okay then …� she replied smartly.

“Why do you hate me so much?�

“I hate you?� She laughed incredulously. Jordan couldn’t believe he had the audacity to ask that question as if she were the one that had put so much distance between them.

“Yeah …I’m trying to, I dunno; get to know you or something and you’re acting like I’m such a fucking bother.�

“Oh, I’m sorry. I wasn’t aware that I was the one ignoring you for the past thirteen years,� she said sarcastically.

“I haven’t been ignoring you,� he replied, his head falling down in shame.

“Yeah, you have Justin,� she stood up from the table to stand right in front of him. He was several inches taller than her, but that didn’t intimidate Jordan in the least. “You are like every other brainwashed kid that goes to our school. Y’all think you’re way too good to hang around anyone that doesn’t fall into your category of whatever the hell you think is cool. You ignore me for thirteen years and I’m supposed to be happy, or feel lucky that you’ve taken some unknown interest in me?�

“But I haven’t suddenly taken an interest in you!�

“Then what is it!� She shouted, completely frustrated with him. “Because I don’t understand why you “want to get to know –,� she suddenly stopped talking, realization hitting her hard. She took a few steps away from him, glaring at him. “I get it,� she placed her hands on her hips, laughing and staring at the ground.

Justin was confused. “You get what?�

“Y’all are …wow …y’all are fucking clever.�

“What? Jordan, I don’t get …�

“You almost had me. Coming up to me out of nowhere like you actually gave a damn about my existence, and then now like you care about how I feel about anything. Really clever,� she continued laughing bitterly.

“Jordan, what the hell are you talking about!?� He was getting annoyed and irritated. She was talking around in riddles that he didn’t understand.

“Justin, do me and favor and leave me alone. I don’t feel like being a pawn in your little games.�

“I still don’t,� he shook his head, running his head through the short curls on top of his head. He tried to understand what she meant, but she wasn’t making any sense. “What the hell are you talking about? I don’t get what you mean.�

“You’re trying to play me!� She exclaimed, throwing her hands up as if it should’ve been obvious. “Your little friends obviously put you up to this.�

“Wh-what?�

“Oh, Justin, please! Give the little act up. I’m onto it and it’s not funny. You lose.�

“Now you wait just a second, nobody put me up to anything.�

“Sure. You’re going to tell me that you haven’t looked at me once in the whole time we’ve gone to school together, and I’m supposed to believe you want to be my friend? Or whatever the hell you’re trying to do. Whatever it is – I’m not falling for it.�

“I don’t know what you think about me, or I guess maybe I do since you’re being so vocal on your dislike for me, but I would never do that to someone.�

“Oh, yeah, sure,� she nodded. “Of course you wouldn’t. You’d just ignore them like they’re not alive, that’s even better.�

“Jordan …�

The sound of a car and the bright lights that entered the parking lot halted Justin from saying another word. Hooting and hollering filled the once peaceful air by the passengers in the car. Jordan watched as Justin indiscreetly took several huge steps away from her, he stared at the car that he knew his best friend Trace was driving. Jordan couldn’t help but feel saddened by the space he created between them.

“You are so full of shit,� she spat, disgusted.

“I’m sorry,� he whispered as he backed away towards the car waiting for him.

“You’re right. You are so sorry,� she shook her head. “Keep walking away, Justin!� She yelled loud enough for his friends to hear as well. “There are only so many times I’ll let you walk away from me before I completely ignore you.�

Justin kept walking, he pretended to ignore the words that floated through the dark night, but every word penetrated him deeply, painfully. He wanted to get to know her, but she wasn’t exactly making it easy to do, and he couldn’t tell his friends. But not because he was ashamed – they wouldn’t understand!

He got in the car, shut the door, and watched out of the window as Jordan stomped off to join Rachael and the rest of her friends.

He immediately wondered if he was leaving with the wrong people.

“Hey,� Mallory greeted rather friendly as she watched Justin walk up to her silently, the look on his face saying he’d rather be anywhere but there. “Long time no talk.�

“Yeah …� Justin answered uneasily when he was finally up to her. “It’s been a while huh?�

She only nodded her agreement as she watched him fidget nervously with his car keys. It was really random that Justin called her to meet up at the park. It was even more peculiar because he hadn’t talked to her in months, had actually gone out of his way to avoid her at all cost. Mallory knew this, and after every awkward situation where he’d make a dash for any exit when he saw her, she too started avoiding him. Her pride and dignity too hurt by what transpired with them to do anything else.

Mallory Thompson knew just what type of guy Justin was. He didn’t do very much to hide the fact, but being the naïve female that she was thought that it would be different with them. Thinking highly of herself, she thought that if she gave herself to him he’d want her and she could change him. She wanted to change him, she wanted him to become something to her that he wouldn’t allow himself to be with any of the other girls he fucked around with and then left alone like he had never touched them. It didn’t work out that way. She wasn’t different than those other girls, she was quite the same, and it disgusted her on so many levels to know that she had made it so easy for him to win her.

“Not because of me,� she reminded him somewhat bitterly. She took a seat at the picnic table she had been leaning against and he took a seat as well sitting across from her. Mallory glanced around the nearly empty park, looking at the kids that were playing on the swings and the trees that were losing their leaves, and then glared at Justin who had been sitting quietly observing her.

“Unfortunately, you’re right about that.�

“I know I am. But what I can’t understand is why you feel like you can ignore me and then call me up out of the blue and ask for favors.�

“It’s not like that,� he promised.

“How is it then? Because you stopped talking to me, barely make eye contact with me on a good day, and here you are trying to sit across from me like nothing happened.�

“I don’t know what you want me to say.�

“What do you want?�

Justin hung his head pitifully, because he felt horrible for the way he treated her. But unfortunately he did this to a lot of girls. He’d mess around with them and leave them and never talk to them again. It’s the guy that his friends knew him so well to be, a guy that he was trying so hard to run away from.

Mallory wasn’t picked at random. She wasn’t as popular as some of the prettier girls, but she was just as pretty if not better looking than most of them. Her sun kissed skin looked perfectly tan all year round, her dark brown hair cascaded down the length of her back, and her tight little body was sculpted but round in all the right places. It was an easy decision, even easier when all it took was one date and she was on him faster than he ever thought possible. She was easily attainable, as said from majority of the jocks in school, and she didn’t disappoint at all.

“Mallory, I really want to take this opportunity to apologize to you for my behavior. I didn’t mean to avoid you or ignore you. It wasn’t my intention.�

Justin was lying through his teeth. She knew it and he knew that she knew it. His words were cleverly crafted to make her believe more of him than he could believe in himself. It was the same line he told all the girls, a few different words thrown in here and there, but basically the same.

“Cut the crap,� she scoffed shaking her head. “We both know that you are sorry, a sorry excuse for a human being. But you’re not sorry for the things that you do.�

“I am sorry,� he reiterated.

“If you’re so sorry why did you ignore me in the first place?�

“I don’t know …� he paused to lick his dry lips. “I do dumb shit.�

“That’s for sure. Anyway, you said you needed something so just tell me what it is and we can end this painfully awkward conversation.�

“Well part of the reason I called you down here was because I do need something, but the other reason was to apologize. Honestly. I think you’re a great girl and maybe if the situation were different …�

“Then maybe something could’ve happened between us?� She finished his sentence for him, mocking him in a sugary sweet voice. “Give me a little credit, Justin. I’m not like most of the stupid bimbos you sleep with. Yeah we did mess around and I was stupid for that, but I’m not stupid enough to believe any of the stuff you’re saying right now.�

Justin frowned and ran a few fingers through hair in frustration. “I know you’re not stupid. I wasn’t saying that.�

“Yes you were!�

“No I was not,� he argued.

“You’re sitting here giving me the same lines you give every other girl that you put in this mess.�

“The last time I checked I wasn’t the only one in that bed putting us in this mess,� he growled, his patience running very thin.

“You’re right. I was there too, because I was stupid enough to believe that we had a chance at something.�

“We went on one lousy date, dinner and a movie,� he reminisced. “The movie sucked and we didn’t talk much during dinner, so I don’t get how you’d think that we had a chance at anything. It’s not like I lead you to believe that.�

“That’s not how it was for me. And we did talk during dinner …well I did, but I guess you just zoned me out. I’m so sorry you considered me such a lousy date and I guess a lousy lay since I haven’t heard from you since.�

“Mallory, don’t try to run this game with me. Don’t put this on me like you haven’t done the same shit with every other guy in school,� he accused. Suddenly he regretted the words as they fell out of his mouth. This wasn’t exactly how he pictured this meeting going. And he wasn’t helping his cause one bit by calling her a whore.

“And what is that supposed to mean?� She sneered, narrowing her eyes at him. Her fists were balled up under the table, the only thing keeping Justin from a punch in the face being the table between them.

“It …it doesn’t matter,� he immediately digressed. “I don’t want to go there with you.�

“No, I think you already have. What right do you have calling me a slut?�

“I didn’t call you--,�

“Maybe you didn’t use the words but that’s what you’re implying right?� Justin only shrugged his response, looking down at the wooden table. “You sleep with anything that can walk and you’re calling me a slut?�

“I didn’t call you a slut, Mallory.�

“Then what were you saying?�

“Nothing,� he relented. Justin knew well enough to know that girls take everything the wrong way, and he was already in a boat that was sinking. “I wasn’t saying anything.�

“You obviously know me so well …so tell me.�

“I hear the rumors,� his eyes darted from Mallory to something behind her. “Guys tell me stuff …about you …about all of the girls.�

“Do you listen to all of the rumors?� She asked, genuinely curious. “Do you hear half of the stuff being said about you? About your boys?�

“That’s what I mean,� he nodded his head. “It’s all true.�

“No ….some of it is true, not all of it. I don’t know why I’m trying to explain myself to you …but,� her gaze faltered into something less angry. She folded her arms and cleared her throat. “I’ve had a crush on you since I can remember. But what girl hasn’t? It’s so easy to fall for your charm …whether it’s real or not …it’s hard to ignore.� Justin shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his eyes glued to hers. He could deal with girls hating him after treating them the way that he did, but seeing someone hold so much admiration for him after the fact was a hard pill to swallow. “I fell for your charm and I was hoping that …I don’t know …I was hoping I could make you feel the same way I felt about you. I thought if I gave you what you wanted you’d like me better.� Her head fell down in shame at her admission. She knew how horrible it sounded. “But that doesn’t mean that just because I was so easy for you that I open my legs up for anybody, because I don’t. I’m not a slut.�

“I know you’re not,� he replied.

“I don’t think you do but thanks.�

“I really didn’t know you felt that way about me.�

“If you had known would it have made a difference?� She wondered.

“People make mistakes and sometimes we hurt people, but we don’t always do it intentionally. And the same is true for me.� Mallory made an indescribable noise. “Like I said before I’m so sorry for how I treated you. And I wish you would believe me because I don’t make a habit of apologizing to everybody.�

“I wish I could believe you enough to forgive you. But even after so many months …I can’t.�

“And I get it. I just hope that some time down the line …maybe we can learn to be friends,� he offered with a small smile. He’d never admit that the only reason he was offering was because he wanted something else from her.

“I don’t think so,� she rejected solemnly, but still managed to return a smile. “I hate you too much for making me hate myself that I can’t stand talking to you right now like this.�

“I guess I deserve that.�

“I really wish things could’ve been different. I never considered you a bad guy. You’re just someone who got stuck in the wrong crowd, that’s always how I pictured you. But when you did that to me …it totally changed my feelings and thoughts about you. You become all the guys you hang around and I lost all my respect for you.�

“I’m sorry.�

“Yeah …well. You said you wanted something and it obviously wasn’t to apologize like you’re claiming so what is it?�

“I just need a little info,� he requested.

“I’ll try my best.�

“You’re friends with Jordan, right?�

“Yeah …�

“That’s why I brought you down here to ask you some stuff about her. Get to know her a little better through you.�

Mallory’s heart stopped, skipped a beat, and then ran faster than normal. Justin never dated anyone, never asked around about girls, so the fact that he was asking about Jordan meant something. Something that Mallory didn’t want to be a part of. She could handle seeing him with other girls that she had no ties to, but Jordan? That wouldn’t be possible. She couldn’t handle that.

She took a slow calming breath before asking, “What type of stuff do you want to know?�

“Like …I don’t know. I want to know about her and Jimmy. She told me that there wasn’t anything going on with them. But he likes her, right? At least I think he does,� he mumbled uncertainly. “Maybe give me her number so I can call her sometime?�

Mallory busted out in a fit of giggles, bending over her legs and clenching on to her stomach. Justin sat there watching unamused, feeling his temper rise. He wasn’t used to being so vulnerable about girls, maybe because she wasn’t just any girl. Mallory calmed down some, lifting her upper body and sighing. She ran a hand through her brown locks and smiled at him.

“That was funny. Thanks …I needed that.�

“I don’t see what’s so funny. I’m serious.�

“Sure you are.�

“I am,� he locked eyes with her, and in that instant she knew he was serious. But she couldn’t be.

“Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t. I can tell you that her and Jimmy are nothing more than friends, and that’s the truth, but I can’t give you her phone number.�

“Why not?�

“Why not? Were you a part of the conversation we just had? I’m not putting Jordan through that. “You’ll have to find some other way.�

“Look,� Justin searched for something to say. He was trying to be as nice as he could to Mallory but she was making it extremely hard to do. “I said I was sorry and I am, but …I like Jordan --,�

“You like her?� She cut in, arching her eyebrow.

“Yeah, I like what I know about her, which I guess isn’t much, but I want to get to know more about her.�

“You want to get to know her for what?� Mallory interrogated suspiciously. “To add to your long list of girls that you use? No. I’m on that list and it doesn’t feel too good. I wouldn’t put her through that.�

“That’s not what this is about though is it? You try to come off so calm and unaffected, but I know better. You’re still upset about me and you, and it’s probably hurting like hell that I’m telling you I like Jordan. This isn’t about saving her feelings, this is about saving yours.�

“Don’t try to analyze me like you know me, Justin.�

“Then tell me it’s not true,� he smirked.

“I care about Jordan way more than you ever could. She’s my best friend, so yes, when I say that this is about helping her that’s what I mean.�

And to an extent that was true, but he was right as well.

“Come on, Mallory. Give me a chance. I wouldn’t do that to her.�

“That’s the same thing you said to me, to every other girl you come into contact with. That is your automatic response. You say you won’t hurt us, and maybe that’s not your intention, but in the end you do end up hurting us.�

“Then let her make that choice!� He shouted, forgetting where he was. “Don’t sit here and act like you have a say in what she does and who she chooses to talk to, because I might not know her as well, but I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t like someone making decisions for her.�

“And you think that if she knew anything about what we did she’d give you a second look?�

Justin’s face crumpled into a heap of worry. If Jordan knew half of the things that Justin had done to so many girls at school she wouldn’t give him a first chance.

“You haven’t told her have you?�

“Of course not. I don’t want her to know, either. But …there have been rumors for some time now, even if I didn’t tell her someone probably has already.�

“Then I’ll have to take that chance,� he told her. “I want to get to know her, Mallory. And I will with or without your help, but I’m hoping you’ll help anyway.�

****
Jordan dragged her tired feet out of the empty supermarket, taking off her red mock and replacing it with a black jacket. It wasn’t really cold, but chilly enough for a light jacket. Her shift had ended forty minutes ago, but being on the night shift involved cleaning and putting up the items that people didn’t want. It was only four to six hours a day, but it was still tiring when she had school before and homework after. She walked through the dark empty parking lot and found her red Honda Prelude. She unlocked the door, let herself in, and as soon as she the door her cell phone started ringing. She reached into the glove compartment, grabbed the phone, and pressed the talk button.

“Hello?� Her voice was slow and tired.

“Hey,� Mallory’s voice filtered through the line. “Are you just getting out of work?�

“Yeah, I’m on my way home now.� She placed her key into the ignition, turned it until the engine turned over, and drove out of the parking lot down the desolate street. “What’s up?�

“Not much. Hey, can you drive by my house before you go home?�

“I don’t know,� she heaved out a sigh, already turning to go the way of Mallory’s house. “I’m tired.�

“It’ll only be a few minutes. Rachael brought the wedding dresses by, and we need to try them on to make sure they fit, and I need to talk to you about something.�

Jordan chuckled sleepily, running a hand over her face trying to wake herself up. “How the hell did we get talked into being bridesmaids at her sister’s wedding anyway?�

“Because we love Rachael and her sister was desperate to have someone other than just Rachael be her bridesmaid,� she reminded her, laughing as well.

Rachael’s sister Beth was a loner; the fact that she was getting married had surprised a lot of people. She didn’t have a lot of friends, and Rachael felt bad for her that she was her only bridesmaid. A few hours of begging and promises of all the champagne they could get their little hands on Mallory and Jordan had agreed. Jordan had never been to a wedding and she thought it might be fun to get all dolled up for such a special occasion.

“What did you want to talk about?�

“Oh …we’ll talk about it when you get here,� she said. Jordan thought that she sounded strange, but she chalked up to her own fatigue.

“Ok. Did your mom cook?� Jordan asked hopefully. “I’m starving.�

“Yep, we had lasagna, and some garlic bread, and salad. I’ll heat up a plate for you and you can eat while we try the dresses on.�

“Awesome. I’ll be there in a few,� she promised before hanging up.

Jordan drove silently the rest of the way there, the sounds of her stomach growling being the soundtrack for the ride. She hadn’t eaten much that day, just a quick sandwich that she grabbed at home after school on her way to work. She turned down Mallory’s street and parked behind her mom’s car in the drive way. She sluggishly exited the car, pressed the button on her alarm key chain to activate the alarm, then jogged up the few steps to her friend’s door. Knocking twice, she didn’t wait for anyone to answer; she let herself in quietly calling for Mallory.

Mallory appeared from the kitchen in a t-shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants. “You look tired,� she observed almost immediately. She handed Jordan a plate with a huge piece of gooey lasagna, crunchy pieces of garlic bread, and a small side of salad. It looked delicious and Jordan accepted it graciously, digging in as soon as she could grab the fork.

“I am,� she chewed quickly and swallowed. “Two people called in tonight and so then it was just me and Rita. And Rita …you know she never does anything.�

“She rings up like two people and then goes and talks to Dan the rest of the time. I’m so glad I didn’t have to work today. I don’t know why Dan doesn’t fire her.�

Jordan shrugged her shoulders while taking another bite. “I think Rita and Dan have something going on. Why else hasn’t he gotten rid of her? Dan has no problem firing people. And whenever they work late they always leave together …and I always get that vibe. Like, if I know they’re both in the stock room I always get this feeling like I shouldn’t go in there,� she giggled, holding her hand over her mouth while she swallowed another tasty bite.

Mallory’s eyes widened, but then she laughed too. “That really wouldn’t shock me! Dan’s so desperate and Rita is lonely …it would make perfect sense.� Jordan nodded. “Okay, well, come to my room and we can try this stuff on.�

She led the way up the stairs and down the hall. Filled with bright pink colors and purples, her room definitely fit her personality. Jordan plopped down on her neatly made bed, placing her plate beside her as she watched Mallory looked through her closets to find dresses.

“I really don’t want to go to this wedding.�

“Yeah, well, neither do I. But I figure it this way,� she emerged from her closet with two gowns on hangers neatly tucked into dark bags. “Rachael has a ton of cute cousins and stuff …it’ll probably be boring but at least we can talk to some guys.�

“You can talk to some guys.�

“You can, too,� Mallory eyed her curiously. “You’re single, you’re young, and you’re gorgeous. You not having a boyfriend is your own fault.�

“Whatever,� Jordan rolled her eyes. She snatched one of the dresses from Mallory and ripped open the bag. The dress, much to Jordan’s surprise, was actually decent. Mixed with royal blue and light blue, it was made to fit tightly around the bust area and flow straight down. “Wow, this is pretty.�

“Right? So we won’t have to embarrass ourselves in tacky dresses. Now get your ass out of that uniform and try it on. I told Rachael I’d have this done by tomorrow.�

Mallory, not being the type to be shy about her body, snatched off her t-shirt and yanked off her pants. She pulled the dress over her head and let it fall to the floor. It fit her perfectly. Jordan gazed on, envy dripping from her pores. She wished her body was more like hers. There wasn’t much difference between her and Mallory, Jordan was a tiny bit shorter than her and bigger in the chest, but their bodies weren’t different at all. But in Jordan’s mind her body was built like a balloon while Mallory held the body of a Goddess.

“What do you think?� She twirled around, turning her head up and placing her hand behind her head like she was bunching up her hair seductively.

“It looks really good.� Jordan answered honestly, her eyes lost in the way her dress fit to her like a second skin. It made her nauseous. “I’m going to change in the bathroom.� She lifted her tired body off of the bed and made her way for the door.

“Why?�

“Not everybody can be as comfortable with their body as you are.� She tried to say it in a joking manner, even smiled a little, but it still sounded tense to her.

“Oh please,� Mallory waved her off. “Well go on then …we don’t have all night and I still need to talk to you.�

“Alright, I’ll be right back.�

Jordan changed swiftly in the bathroom, looking at herself from every angle. She didn’t hate it, but it looked nothing like it did on Mallory. When she showed Mallory she loved it and gushed about how great they were going to look a million times over. She continuously told her she looked beautiful and once their hair and makeup were done they’d both have dates afterwards. It eased Jordan out of her funky mood a little. She couldn’t understand where her displeasure for her body was coming from because she had never had one before.

Later after the dresses were put up and Rachael was called to tell her that the dresses didn’t need any alterations, Jordan and Mallory were sitting on her front porch on the swing idly chatting about their day.

“I bumped into Justin today …�

Jordan looked up from her shoes and glanced at her. “Justin who?�

“Rachael’s cousin.�

“Oh …ok?�

“He, uh,� she scratched her thigh, suddenly feeling itchy. “He asked about you.�

“Did he?� She asked, completely disinterested.

“Yeah, it was strange.�

“Doesn’t really surprise me,� Jordan mumbled while rolling her eyes. “Wait …since when do you and Justin talk?�

“We don’t …he just wanted to know some stuff. But I wasn’t aware that you and him were talking.� Mallory tried to make it sound like she was genuinely curious and not jealous, but she couldn’t fight the feelings that it should be her that he was inquiring about and not Jordan.

“Trust me we don’t,� she answered.

“Well he asked for your number.�

Jordan’s eyes widened with disbelief. “My number?� Suddenly she started laughing as if it were the funniest thing in the world, something Mallory couldn’t share in. “I tell you …him and his friends are really working hard to fuck with me.�

“What do you mean?�

“I mean that when have you ever known Justin to take an interest in anyone but himself?�

“Never.�

“Sure he’s cute as hell and I want it …� she gazed off dreamily before shaking her head from those thoughts. “Boy do I want it.�

“You want what?�

“His attention …some type ...any type …but not like this. He’s up to something. I don’t know what or why but I’m involved in it I’m sure.�

“I didn’t think you liked him,� she said.

“I don’t like him, Mal. I have a little unimportant crush that will blow over.�

“I didn’t know that, but I didn’t give him your number.�

“Good …he doesn’t need it,� she decided.

“I just wonder why all the sudden interest in you?�

Jordan knew that she didn’t mean it the way it sounded, or at least she thought she didn’t, but it sounded like the thought totally baffled her. “What do you mean me?�

“Not like that, babe,� she laughed very obnoxiously. “It’s just that …Justin has a certain type of girl that he likes. I mean you know that. And I don’t know …� she trailed off when she noticed the glare that Jordan was giving her.

“And you feel like I’m not his type?�

“Jordan! I’m not meaning it like you’re taking it. I’m not saying you’re ugly because you’re not, or that he wouldn’t be lucky to have you because he would. I’m just saying that normally he goes for other types of girls.�

The more Mallory spoke the more it upset Jordan. Sure, she knew that she wasn’t Justin’s type, and yes, he did have certain types of girls. The bubbly blonde heads that were pretty and flirty or the vivacious brunettes that were seductive and sweet – the ones he didn’t have to work for. Jordan wasn’t like that, and she knew that, but it felt like Mallory was insulting her.

“And how would you know what Justin likes? You haven’t talked to him a day in your life other than today and now you’re suddenly an expert?�

“If you’re not talking to him and he doesn’t have a thing for you then why the hell does it matter what I think?� Mallory folded her arms over her chest defensively.

“And if you haven’t talked to him ever and he’s nothing to you then why are you acting like I’ve done something wrong?� Jordan jumped from her seat, staring down at her friend accusingly.

“Because I slept with him!�

Jordan stumbled back as if the words physically hit her, the force of them so strong. Everything got eerily quiet. The sounds of the cars roaming down the street disappeared, the crickets weren’t chirping as loud, it was completely quiet.

“What?�

“I slept with him,� she confirmed shamefully. “I don’t know why …or – I mean I guess I do. But it was a long time ago and then he called me to ask about you and …�

“You slept with Justin?� Jordan repeated.

“I know …ok? I know. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want your opinion of me to change. I act like I’m so above these girls that take their panties off for anyone, and in reality, I’m no better.�

“So …he slept with you and never talked to you again?�

“Pretty much,� she answered, sinking her head down even further.

Jordan couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Her perspective was changing. Instead of thinking that Justin was trying to humiliate her in some way, now she was thinking that he was trying to get back at Mallory for something. Maybe he was trying to go for the jugular, date her best friend, and make her angry. Either way, he didn’t honestly like her.

“Mallory …do you like him or something?�

“No, no, no, no …not at all. Not at all, not even the littlest bit,� she shook her head furiously.

“Because that would be stupid,� she announced bluntly. “He fucked you and ignored you. There is nothing to like …� Jordan was saying the words to Mallory, but the words were more for her benefit than anything else. He wasn’t worth liking. She had heard the rumors about him and didn’t believe half of them, but the truth was staring her right in the face. It disgusted her.

“You’re right. I got a little jealous about you because I’ve wanted that spot for so long. But I’m over it and honestly I don’t like him,� she fibbed.

Jordan didn’t believe her. She was too hung up about Justin showing any interest in her. Why would she do that if she didn’t care?

“I can’t believe he’s all smiling in my face like he’s this good guy. Desperately trying to make me believe that he’s not as bad as I think …and here he is fucking my best friend and purposely forgetting you exist.�

“He’s a guy,� she reminded her. “He’s a guy that chases after girls and when he catches them …kinda just throws them away.�

“And I could’ve given him a chance!� She revealed, almost relieved that she didn’t have to. “If I didn’t know this …like if you hadn’t told me …I would’ve tried to give him a chance, and then what? I’d be in the same place. It pisses me off that he thinks he can use girls like this and he thinks he can move on to some one else when he gets bored.�

Mallory let her vent. She didn’t want to let on that Justin was serious about her, more serious than he’d ever been about someone. It’d be her own little secret that she’d keep to herself at all cost. It wouldn’t harm Jordan if she didn’t know, in fact, she was helping her. Justin used girls often, sometimes twice in one day. Jordan didn’t need that in her life.

“That’s a typical guy for you.�

“I’m sorry I snapped at you, girl. I honestly didn’t know.�

“No please,� she shrugged it off. “I …I reacted badly.�

“It doesn’t matter. From here on out let’s just pretend like Justin Timberlake doesn’t exist. We don’t need to be around him and we don’t have to talk about him.�

“Well, there’s one minor problem. I’m pretty sure he’ll be at the wedding,� Mallory informed her slowly.

Fuck. She hadn’t thought of that. Of course he’d be there; Rachael’s sister was his cousin, too. Well, she’d ignore him for two weeks, spend a few hours in the same area as him, and then go back to ignoring him.

Easy as pie.

“I guess I better go,� she glanced at her watch and saw that it was nearing midnight. “Are you okay?�

“Yeah, I’m fine. Better than fine. How about you?�

“I’m good. It doesn’t affect me in any way.�

The two girls hugged and said their goodbyes, but they both left each other knowing the other was lying.