2008

Adonis was always taking me somewhere and this time, I had no idea where he wanted to take me and he wouldn't tell me. I continued to do my hair and I badgered him.

"Donni, tell me where the hell you're taking me," I said.

He ignored me and took some of my cousin's gel to freshen up his mohawk.

"Adonis Noie De Lorenzo don't mess with me," I said angrily. I'm not sure why, but he seemed to always know I was serious when I called him by his full name.

"My job at the photo studio gets me into some really exclusive parties. So I got invited to this party and I'm bringing you as a guest," he told me.

"Are you allowed to do that? Aren't you supposed to be snapping photos?" I asked.

 "Technically, yes. But I was invited as a party guest not as a photographer and I'm allowed to bring a date so, you're my date. But now that I think about it, you're annoying me so I'll take someone else," he replied.

"Do not get drop kicked. Are you at least going to tell me who's party it is?" I asked.

"Nope. Just don't worry about it and worry about looking good. You know how superficial individuals in Hollywood can be," he replied.

I made a face at him through the mirror and finished up the last of my hair. I was reluctant to wear a dress so I talked Adonis into letting me wear tights but only if I wore heels. He literally killed me on the inside with that bargain, but I accepted. I looked at myself in the mirror one last time and popped gum into my mouth as I headed out the door.

"Make sure that's gone before we go in," Donni said as he searched for a parking spot.

"Ugh! I can never do NOTHING!" I said imitating George Lopez. He smiled and shook his head, so I knew I could hold onto my gum for a little bit longer.

For some reason I was extremely nervous and I had no idea why. I didn't even get that antsy around people who were famous. I live in LA, I see famous people all the time, sometimes more than I'd liket to. I looped my arm through Adonis' arm and we strolled to the high class mansion. There was a waiter at the front with drinks as we entered, but I pulled Adonis away quickly. I'm not legal so I couldn't even look that direction.

"Heyy! Those were free drinks," he complained.

"I don't care, I don't drink and neither will you. I'm not letting you embarrass yourself by getting wasted at an exclusive party. No way," I said.

"Sometimes I hate that you care about me," he joked.

I rolled my eyes and we continued to walk. I had no idea where he was taking me but I just followed. I swear this whole party was full of people you didn't think would be called "exclusive" compared to LA standards. They looked like a bunch of friends just hanging out at a gathering, not trying to impress anyone or be impressed. Adonis stopped and while I snapped back into reality, I saw that we were at a bar. I thought I told him no drinking. I don't care if he's 20, I mean business damn it.

The second I was about to open my mouth, Donni moved aside and my jaw dropped at the sight of who he was conversing with. I couldn't move, I couldn't think, I don't even believe I was breathing anymore.

"Esamar...?" I heard Donni say.

This was new. I'd never been star struck before. I mean, never ever. I was just so shocked. And I can't imagine how I was looking to everyone right now.

"Esa! Snap out of it, people are gonna think you're autistic or something," he whispered to me.

I blinked my eyes for the first time and coughed trying to play off how embarrassed I was.

"Esamar this is J--"

"JC Chasez, yes, I know," I said as he reached out, grasping my hand softly and smiling. My insides were a big pile of goo.

"Hi Esamar, it's nice to meet you," said JC.

"Likewise," I said. I was just.....I'm just.....I don't know what I am!

"I'm sorry JC, she's normally not like that when meeting people," Donni explained. JC swatted away his comment as if to say, it's fine.

"If you've waited 10 years to meet someone and you just randomly do that, you wouldn't be so calm either," I said.

JC smiled. "10 years? Really?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yes and I have 4 more people and 40 years to go to make my life complete."

He laughed his infamous laugh and I felt like I was floating on air. "Wait. Donni how do you and JC even know each other?" I asked.

"He just happened to have a shoot at the studio last week and none of his people who arranged the shoot were there and neither were mine. So we started talking and I told him how big a fan my friend is of NSYNC and he invited us to this gathering as guests so he could meet you," he said.

"Wow, Donni I can't even begin to say thank you," I said.

"You don't have to, just let me beat you in Dance Dance Revolution a few times and we're good," he joked.

I shook my head and turned back toward JC. "Thank you, too. I really appreciate this. It was nice of you."

"You're very welcome, after waiting 10 years, I could at least give you a break. Speaking of that, you look pretty young, exactly how old were you 10 years ago?" he asked.

"I was about 8," I replied, feeling like a young chap because I was so little back then.

"Aww, so you're only 18? Man, I'm gettin' old," he said.

I laughed. "Not even, you haven't aged a bit."

"Well thank you," he said. He gave me a very intense look, I just felt his eyes piercing through mine. Like he was reading everything about me through my eyes. I guess he didn't realize he was staring because he quickly looked away, blinking his eyes repeatedly. I smiled to myself turning away in case my face was red. All of a sudden I heard the familiar bass of a song kick in. 'Come To Me' by JC was blaring throughout the entire party.

"Hey, isn't this your favorite song, Esa? You play the part about masturbation so many times, I could never miss this one!" Donni said.

My mouth dropped all the way open, literally. No he didn't. I looked at JC and he just bent his head down, probably laughing.

"Donni! Shut up!" I said as I pushed his shoulder.

JC stood up, it seems the crowd was looking for a performance. And I was hoping he as going to sing, but he came over to me and held out his hand. "Care to join me?"

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Definitely. If they want a show, we'll give them one. And at least you'll have something to remember me by," he replied.

"JC, are you sure? I don't think you're ready," Donni warned.

"Oh, I'm positive," he said. I gave my clutch and jacket to Donni and took JC's hand.

The song was an up-tempo song with a smooth beat.....like a musical contradiction. We started face to face and I was just sure I was blushing, so I spun around and began to dance in front of him. He placed his hands on my waist, pulling me in closer to his chest. My heart started to race being that close to him. I placed my hands over his and I slowed down the pace of my dancing, bringing us closer together. He moved his body to the same rhythm and was pretty good at keeping up with my ever changing movements.

Flashes from cameras were coming in just about every direction. I wasn't so sure if that was going to be a good thing for tomorrows tabloids, but for the time being, I was enjoying myself. He was quite a bit taller than me, but I could feel him move closer to the side of my face. His hands also weren't shy, he caressed his fingers on my thighs and around by my waist. Things would've been different if I wasn't just a tad attracted to him.

I don't know if I was imagining or it was real, but I didn't hear the excited chatter from the people, I didn't hear the music, I just felt his and my own presence. I heard an uproar of applause and I snapped back to reality once again. JC held my hand up and showed me off. I simply mouthed 'thank you' as we made our way back over to Donni.

"Wow, that was hot. How come you never dance with me like that?" Donni asked as he handed me back my belongings.

"Because you always complain that you can't keep up," I replied.

"Thank you for honoring me with your dancing," JC told me.

I scoffed. "Oh please, me? I should be saying that to you, JC or should I call you Mr. Chasez, since you've been known to school a few people?"

Was I flirting? That was the worse line ever. I wish I had thought about that two seconds earlier.

"With moves like that, you can call me anything you want, mama," he replied. Was he flirting back? Hmm, maybe that wasn't a bad line after all.....no, that was definitely a bad line.

We chilled out at the party with JC for a few more hours, mingling and networking with various peoples. When JC was ready to leave, Donni and I went to go walk him out to get in some last minute thank you's. He really was a sweet person and you definitely don't meet a lot of celebrities like that anymore.

"Thanks for inviting us man, we really appreciate it," Donni said as they shook hands.

"It's no prob. Oh, we did a reschedule for the shoot, so I'll be seeing you Sunday, if not tomorrow," he said.

He came over to me and hugged me, my kneecaps almost went jello on me, but I kept it together for my own sake. "And thank you for an awesome dance. It was really nice meeting you, maybe I'll see you at the shoot," he said.

He smelled so good and I know his fragrance was all over me now, thank you GOD!

"You're welcome and thank you for letting me meet you, I'll never forget it," I responded.

He smiled, biting his lip and did a semi-bow as he got into his car and drove off. Donni and I felt all partied out, so we decided to call it quits, too and leave.

"That was sex on the dance floor and you know it," Donni said suddenly.

"What! No it was not, it was just dancing," I said.

"Okay, you're talking to me here, I'm a guy and I know sex when I see it. That was dancing pornography," he said.

I laughed at his silliness, shaking my head.

"Fine, don't acknowledge that but do acknowledge that he's into you," he told me.

"Did you drink when I told you not to? You have definitely gone off the deep end with that one. I mean I could care less about the age gap, but he could date vomiting models, why the hell would he want some 18 year-old college kid?" I asked.

"Because you're NOT a vomiting model. Trust me, that shit is not attractive. AT all. And why would he care about age? You're an adult," he replied.

"I don't buy it. I think he was just being polite, you know, he's very grounded and humble," I said.

"Did you see how many other women were there? He couldn't keep his eyes off of you, Esa. Come on, you know that there was something. He made eye contact, constant body contact, and he was throwing multiple signals at you all at once. I have to ask him to teach me that, actually," he told me.

"Adonis, don't poison me with false hope. I'd love to think that but, it'd never work. I mean astrologically, we're polar opposites," I said.

"Opposites attract....and let's not forget that two of his closest friends are the same sign as you and I'm his sign. I'm not poisoning you. It's just obvious. You can ask anyone there and they'd tell you. The chemistry was just.....there."

I sat and thought about what he said as he drove me home. I did feel something when we danced, but who's to say that it was mutual? We flirted, but how would you respond to that lame ass line, anyway? I'm just going to take our time together for what it was: a fan meeting who she's a fan of. And not taking it too much to the heart. He's famous, he's older, and we just live two different lives.

I woke up feeling more than awesome. I reflected on the night before as I showered. All I could do was smile. I still smelled his scent; it seemed to linger in my nose all night. If yesterday wasn't my lucky night, then I don't know what else could make it better. As I got out the shower, I wrapped my towel around me and walked back into my room. I wasn't paying attention, so my eyes were on the carpet as I was walking back and I saw a pair of shoes that shouldn't have been there. As I followed the shoes up to the torso, I felt that I knew who this body belonged to. I dropped my towel and met my eyes with JC.

"AAAAAAAAH!" I shot up from my bed, looking around to see if anyone was there. "Wait.....that wasn't a nightmare!" I shouted as I tried to go back to sleep.

"Esamar! What's wrong?!" my mom yelled.

"Nothing Ma! I'm fine! It was just a spider on my leg!" I lied. I know that it would've been a lot more screaming if that was true. Just saying it made me check my bed afterward. I got ready for the day. I have no idea how my mom's voice carried that far, we have a three story house, and I have my own floor; room, bathroom, closet, and even my own living room area.

I was just gonna chill at home and blast music whi-- "I think I wanna stay single, maybe we're better apart.." my phone went off, it was Donni.

"Home of the whopper, what's your beef?" I greeted.

"Be dressed in 10 minutes," he said.

"For what? I was gonna chill at home damn it," I complained.

"JC's gonna be here."

"I've already seen him once. I don't wanna stalk the man," I said.

"He's doing a few shirtless shots."

"So you said 10 minutes?"

"Yes. Look professional, like you work at the studio, I don't want his people thinking I let my friends party at my job," he told me.

"Gotcha, later."

I dropped my phone on my bed and went to my closet, pulling out a black pencil skirt and a nice collared, cream shirt. I grabbed my large black belt and wrapped it around my waist.

"Shoes......I don't have shoes to go with this. God damn it all to hell......Ma!" I called as I went down to the second floor to her room.

"Oh that's nice, where you going?" she asked.

"Thank you. Um Donni wants me to help out around the photo studio, so I'm gonna go make some extra cash," I replied.

"Oh okay. I have some nice cream heels that will go with that," she said. My mommy is a life saver.

"Whew! Thank goodness because that's what I was coming down here for," I said as she handed me the shoes. "Thanks mom, I'll call you if I'm gonna come home late."

"Alright then, have fun."

I quickly put the shoes by my stairs and ran up to my floor to go do my hair. A nice and simple low ponytail. I didn't want to put any make-up on so I just put on some lip gloss and some face cream. I looked in the mirror, grabbed my bag, then ran downstairs with the shoes in my hand. I heard my phone ringing so I just ran outside barefoot and met Donni in the driveway.

"Damn, I said look professional not corporate," he said.

I laughed. "I can never win with you, I swear."

"You know I'm kidding. You look great. I think your boy JC might drool," he teased.

"Adonis, don't start with the poison," I warned.

"Fine, think what you want, but that man wants you," he said.

"Ugh.......wants me how?" I was curious to know what he meant.

"In every way possible. Any guy can be physically attracted to a woman but not like her. I think he's into you physically and wants to know you personally," he explained.

"How have I known you for years and am just finding out about this side of you?" I asked.

"You come to me with everything but relationship or male issues, which is weird since I should be the first one you come to. Anyway, I don't butt in," he replied.

"I just wanna know where you're getting this from. We did flirt, but hell, you flirt with me all the time and it's nothing," I said.

"Because we don't have anything better to do, we don't count. JC on the other hand is attracted to you. You have a playful aura about you. I see it as very coquette, it makes you more attractive. It seems to win because you don't know you're doing it," he said.

"Wait, so when I'm being plain old me, brushing guys off unintentionally, they sometimes like it?" I asked.

"For some reason, yes. It's a weird situation and I frankly don't have the energy," he replied as we pulled into the studio's parking lot.

Once again I thought about Donni's words. He could be right, but that might not be the case for JC. I slipped on my shoes and followed Donni. I had been here plenty of times before, but never during a shoot, so things were a lot more active when I got inside. Everyone seemed to be moving at 100 miles per second, so I figured that JC was already there.

"Go sit down over there. You'll be able to see the shoot and blend in fine. If anyone asks who you are, say you're my assistant. Everyone who works here already knows you, so it should be his people that are asking anything," he explained. I nodded and went to go take a seat.

I was so fascinated with everything that was going on until I saw JC step

out. He looked so good, I mean, the stylists for the shoot really knew what clothing fashion fit him. I love the chill-out look but I also didn't mind seeing a man look clean cut: dress shirt, tie, slacks. Elegance was just as sexy to me. He happened to look up and caught me staring at him. I looked away quickly.

"You made it," he called out.

"Yeah, seems that I did," I smiled.

"What's the possibility of you doing something after this?" he asked.

"I'm gonna bum a ride with Adonis, that's probably it. Why, Is there something you know that I don't?" I asked.

"Hopefully before this is over, I can get the words out to tell you," he replied.

I smiled. It's always been hard to believe that JC's a shy person and now that it was obvious, I found what we had in common to be even more attractive. I felt Donni tap me and give me his 'I told your ass' looks. I just quietly laughed to myself. Nothing was really happening just yet, so I engaged myself in my iPod Touch. I saw a shadow come over my touch.

"Hey what the hell?" I started to shake my iPod and a hand touched my wrist. I looked up and Donni was shaking his head at me. "What?"

"You suck as an assistant, I've been calling you for years. I need you to help me with JC," he said.

"Help you do what?" I asked, feeling the nerves shoot in all different directions.

"Just come on, damn it, stop being so difficult," he replied. I swatted him away and followed behind him into the dressing room. The stylist and JC were standing there waiting.

"Okay now, Esamar we need an opinion from you," Donni said.

"Why me?" I asked.

"Because you've been an NSYNC fan," he replied.

"I resent that. I still am an NSYNC fan," I corrected.

He rolled his eyes and gave me a 'whatever' sigh and JC smiled, shaking his head. They told me to turn around and close my eyes, so I did. Donni turned me back around and he gave me the go to uncover my eyes.

I removed my hands and my eyes laid on JC's bare upper body.

"Ohhhhh, boy. I'm a breathing woman, how can you torture me like this," I said, knowing that I was showing my embarrassment.

"Okay so this look may work. Krista, do the jeans," Donni said.

I was confused about what he meant but the stylist unbuttoned JC's jeans and lowered them, exposing more of his lower abdomen. The thoughts running through my head were too much to even think of.

"What do you think about this one?" Krista asked.

"She's probably thinking dirty thoughts, so I think this one'll work, too," Donni said.

I gasped and smacked him in his arm. "I'm not afraid to do time for man two, you know."

He just laughed and asked Krista to come with him. JC and I were left alone in the dressing room together. Adonis did that on purpose. Most guy best friends try to prevent you from dating because they're secretly in love with you, but as you can see that's not Donni, damn him.

"So, did you see yourself on TMZ dancing with me?" I asked, trying not to draw attention to the fact that Donni was right about what I was thinking.

"Actually I didn't, but I don't care. I wanted to dance with you," he replied.

"Do you mind if I ask why?" I asked.

"Because 10 years and just a ‘hi', wouldn't have been all that memorable," he replied.

I chuckled softly. "That dance was definitely something that's hard to forget."

"I could say the same," he responded softly. I glanced at him and he leaned back against the wall, with his body facing me.

I walked over to stand in front of him. "Why wouldn't you forget it?" I asked.

"Because it was with you...," he replied. I felt my stomach get light. Was I dreaming again?

"I'm not anyone special.....," I said, staring down at the floor. I felt his fingers touch my chin, lifting my head up so our eyes met.

"I disagree. Would......you like to go to lunch with me?" he asked.

I kept my eyes roaming; I was scared to look into his eyes. I didn't want to get wrapped up in something that wouldn't work.

"JC....I don't know...," I replied softly.

"If you're worried about any cameras, we don't have to eat lunch at a public place," he said.

"Then where would we go?"

"My place, but only if you're comfortable with eating there instead of at a restaurant," he replied.

I didn't want to turn him down without being able to give him a fair chance. Maybe we'll be able to maintain a friendship.

"Sure.....that's fine. I'd love to," I said.

"Great, after the shoot?" I nodded as he began to walk out the door. Krista was calling him.

"Oh, and my face is up here, Esamar," he smiled.

I laughed and as soon as he left the room, I smacked my hand across my forehead. "Ohhh. God bless that man." 

I pulled myself together and headed back to my assigned area. I put my focus back onto my Touch, I didn't wanna be the cause of any distractions. Mainly me being distracted by JC's boyish good looks. I was nervous about what had just occurred. I was texting Donni from my iPod the whole time and he made sure to throw 'I TOLD YOU SO' in every text someway or another. I did manage to get a few discreet pictures of him in the most appealing poses, but I was sure he would volunteer to pose for me privately, anyway. Okay not really, but let me enjoy my fantasy.

I let everything sort of set in. Did I really hesitate to having lunch with JC Chasez? The one and only JC Chasez. I like him, but I know his image and I don't really know HIM. JC inviting me to lunch at his place, does worry me. Like I said before, I don't want to get wrapped up in a dream that can't come true. I'll do lunch, I just hope I don't end up getting caught up in offering him dinner and dessert, if you know what I mean.

"Are you ready?" asked JC.

"Yeah, I am," I replied. I let him lead the way and we waited while his driver pulled up. He opened the door for me, helping me into the backseat of the truck and he soon followed. I would've liked to eat in a public place, but for his own privacy, I'd rather us be somewhere the cameras can't see.

I was pretty much quiet during the whole ride. I was taking in the scenery, there were some neighborhoods in LA that I've never been to and it was nice to know there were quiet places as well. I was so busy being into my surroundings, I didn't notice when we stopped.

"Esa," he called as he waited for me to give him my hand. He helped me out of the car, such a sweet gentleman, and he placed his hand against my back as he led me to the entrance.

I walked inside and was almost taken breathless by his home. It was very beautiful, there was definitely a woman's touch. 

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Oh nothing, I'm just admiring your home. It's beautiful. Did you have your mom help you decorate?" I asked. 

"Not willingly, but yeah. How did you know?"

"It just had a vibe of a woman's touch as well as a man's," I replied as I followed him into the kitchen.

"What would you like for lunch?" he asked.

"You're gonna make me lunch? No way," I said.

"Why not? I'd love to make lunch for you," he said.

"Wow, I'm sorry I just.......I've never had a guy make lunch for me before," I said.

"Then be prepared, because the chances of me burning down the kitchen are not as slim as you'd think," he said

I laughed and shook my head. "How about, you attempt to cook lunch for me and I cook lunch for you, deal?"

"Deal."

After deciding what each of us wanted, we took out materials and began. We were laughing and joking. He was so much fun to be around. Soon enough we sat down at this booth that was built into his kitchen, it was so nice. I made him salmon with fetuccine and a light sprinkle of lemon for seasoning while I helped him make me grilled chicken and some sort of exotic side dish. I didn't really pay attention to the name, I was too busy thinking he looked sexy in an apron.

"So, tell me about yourself," I said, breaking the silence.

"I think its only fair to ask what all you know," he replied. 

"Oh boy. Fine, but please don't call security or anything. Your name is Joshua Scott Chasez, August 8th, 31, a Leo. Umm, either blue, orange, or both is your favorite color. And you have the most gorgeous pair of eyes I've seen, wait, scratch that last one," I said, feeling like the biggest stalker on the planet.

He smiled and nodded his head. "Wow, I'm not sure whether to be flattered or frightened."

"Go with the first one. I swear that at age 8, I had a bunch of group books with all that info in there," I replied.

He chuckled. "What about your basics? Prison or insane asylum history?"

I gave him a face, making him laugh. "Esamar Yoli Bradley, February 11th, 18, Aquarius, I love any shade of blue and sometimes purple, and just normal eyes," I replied.

He chuckled. "Mine are normal, too."

"To me, they're a bit rare, like sometimes I've seen them look blue, other times they look like a light green and other times they're hazel. Maybe that's just me..." I trailed.

I saw how fixed his stare had become, but his eyes were still very soft.

"I didn't know people noticed anything like that," he said.

"Me, either...." I looked down at my plate and continued to eat.

"Joshua....what exactly is taking place here?"

 He was surprised that I called him by his first name. "I'm not so sure yet, Esamar, what do you want to take place?" 

I shrugged. Classic move by me. "I thought this was just lunch, but it's not. I want you, you want me, so what's the lunch for?" I wasn't going to beat around the bush.

"I wanted to get to know you....but if you would prefer to get to the point and not see each other again, I could do that but I wouldn't want to," he responded.

"Are you saying you'd like to take this past a celeb-fan relationship?" I asked.

He smiled. "I'm interested, yes, but the question is, are you?"

"I'll be honest with you, I'm skeptical, but mostly of what my age could do to your reputation," I replied.

"I don't care about that, I'm not the only guy to date a girl younger than he is. It's not like we're officially together, we're just casually dating to see where it takes us, nothing more, nothing less," he explained.

"You have got to be too good to be true," I said.

He smiled. "Why is that?"

"Because you're saying everything I wanna hear. It's just a dream to me, because you live a totally different lifestyle than I do. How is this supposed to work?" I asked.

"How do your other relationships work?"

I scoffed. "They don't."

"Is that because they just don't or because you don't?" he asked.

"I don't," I replied.

"Ah. Esamar, I'm not out to hurt you or let you get hurt along the way. Whatever you feel comfortable with, we can do that," he told me.

"If I wasn't curious about learning more about you, that'd be okay, but I am. I have been since I turned 18," I said, covering my face.

He laughed and pushed his fingers through his short, black hair. He took my plate so I got up and walked over to the sink and stood next to him, running the water to clean our dishes.

"I'm not trying to be inappropriate, but have you ever thought about being with me like.....you know.....?" he asked.

My jaw dropped open. Not that he asked, but the fact I found it cute that he asked.

"What makes you think I want to bang you, Mr. Chasez?" I asked, smiling.

"We both know that dance last night wasn't as innocent as we would've planned. And I won't strike from the record that you called me Mr. Chasez in the sexiest voice I've ever heard," he replied softly.

I smiled and handed him the plate so he could dry it. "That doesn't mean I want to sex you up. It could just mean I have a hip and vocal chord problem," I joked.

He nudged me softly and I giggled. We continued the rest of the dishes in silence, but it wasn't an awkward silence. It was more of an 'I'm comfortable with you' silence.

"So do I get a tour?" I asked.

"Sure, come on." He took my hand and led me throughout his home. It was just as beautiful as the entrance area and kitchen. We went up to the second floor and my nerves were in my throat. He let me look in all rooms and bathrooms. Of course, being the ladies man that I know he is, he left his room to be seen last. He opened the door, allowing me to enter first. I looked around, just being in here, I felt comfortable. That was the aura it gave off.

"This is very nice and cozy," I said as I kicked off my heels. He was giving me a confused stare. I smirked and threw myself on his bed, back first. I sank into the soft comforter and sighed deeply.

"So you're just gonna jump on my bed without asking?" he asked.

I sat up on my elbows and nodded my head. He chuckled, shaking his head. I moved closer to the edge of his bed and signaled for him to come closer.

"Yes, your highness?" he greeted.

"Would it be completely inappropriate to ask if I could kiss you, Mr. Chasez?" I asked, my eyes darting everywhere but toward him.

He bit his lip and moved in closer to me. His lips positioned against my lower lip with mine on his upper lip. He held the back of my head for a deeper kiss. My stomach got light the longer we held our kiss. I placed my hands on the front of his leather jacket, pulling him closer as I laid back on his bed. He ran his fingers from my ankle, up my leg, sending chills down my spine. We stared at one another once we pulled back from kissing.

"This isn't a good idea, is it?" he asked me.

"No, it never is. But honestly, I don't know if I mind that much," I replied.

He went to the bathroom to change into more comfortable clothes and I moved myself to the head of his bed and let my head sink into the most fluffiest pillows I've ever felt. The door opened and I wanted to sit up, but was too comfortable. I caught a glimpse of him and I smiled at his choice of outfit.

"You could at least put on a shirt," I giggled.

He climbed next to me and I laid my head on his shoulder while he snuck his arm across my waist, pulling me closer. I ran my lips across his cheek softly.

"You're not making this easy for me," he said.

I sat up and looked at him, he smiled. "I'm not trying to make anything......hard," I said.                                                                              

"Such sexual language, you're a very bad girl, aren't you?" he responded.

"I'm vibrant in my own way. And how do you think being shirtless is helping me?" I asked as I lied back on his shoulder.

"I wanted to be comfortable.....I can put on a tee, or....you could take something off," he flirted.

I chuckled softly. "Nice try, JC. I don't have anything to take off."

"I beg to differ, you have on a nice blouse and a tight, form-fitting pencil skirt.....take your pick," he said.

"You pick." I let him kiss me and slowly, but surely, his hand ran over my shoulder. His fingers trailed down the front of my shirt, unbuttoning as he moved down. He revealed my black bra, planting a kiss at the beginning of my cleavage. I sighed at the touch of his lips.

"Josh, I think I should go," I whispered.

"I, um, yeah, I'll take you home. Mind if I shower first?" he asked.

"If it's a cold shower, then I'm jealous but I don't mind," I teased.

"Very cold. I'll be right back."

I fell flat back into his bed. I knew this was a stupid idea. I was moving things too fast, just to hurry up and get hurt quicker. Maybe I shouldn't do this with JC, seems like I try to mess things up before we even go anywhere.

2010

........I heard the door open and this time I looked up. Big mistake. JC had his towel wrapped around his waist, hair wet, body wet, water dripping down his face and chest. I threw myself back onto the bed, pretending I didn't see anything.

"JC.....you're not even a tease, you're just being cruel," I finally said

"I normally don't sport a towel, so I do have SOME sympathy for you," he joked.

I shot up out of bed and looked around; just another dream. I looked at the time: 6:28 am. It's been a while since I last saw JC. I never really expected him to keep in touch because, well, he's in the public eye and I'm just plain Jane. We never got the chance to exchange numbers and we just sort of fell out of touch. Of course, I have to admit though; I miss him and often wonder if he realized I wasn't the one to keep in touch with.

I picked up my phone off of my small drawer next to my bed, I passed out quite early last night and might have missed some calls. I looked and I had a few texts from classmates and one from Adonis:

From Adonis:

Come to the studio today, by 8 am. It's important, I promise.

I looked at the clock and sighed. "Shit." I quickly got out of bed and went into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth while the shower warmed up. I didn't want to be late, so I wasted no time in picking out something to wear. I wasn't sure what the occasion was so I just put on some skinny jeans and a novelty tee. I gave myself some side bangs and put the rest into a low ponytail. I grabbed my keys, stuffing my phone into my bag and headed out the door.

I didn't know why me being at the studio was important, but I quickly rushed inside. I saw Donni talking to someone, but I pressed on anyway.

"Donni, what was so important I had to be here at 8 in the morning?" I asked.

His eyes shot to the guy he was speaking to. I didn't notice before, but I knew who this person was. Once he turned around, I was face to face with JC Chasez. He smiled. I noticed his casual dress: skinny-legged jeans, a novelty t-shirt, and this sweet black vest with a pair of white Vans to end the ensemble. I looked him up and down, shot a look at Adonis and walked off.

"Esamar!" Donni called after me. I kept walking and didn't stop until I was in my car. I put my head on the steering wheel. I was feeling so many things at once, but the only emotion apparent was anger.

I heard a tap on the glass that made me jump. I looked up and it was JC. "Can we talk?"

I decided to take a large step and be courageous. I unlocked the doors. "Get in."

He walked around to the passenger side of the car and got in. We both sat in silence.

"Joshua, what are you doing here?" I asked.

"Another shoot," he replied.

"Really, just this random in two years?" he asked.

"Fine, I wanted to see you. I know it's been awhile but I didn't intentionally avoid coming to see you," he said.

"That's so much easier to say than it is to believe, Josh," I said.

I was trying not to be so angry with him, but I was and I couldn't control it.

"I thought you understood what I do and my obligations. Esa, we lost touch, it happens. Shouldn't the only thing that matter is that I'm here now?" he asked.

"J.....I can't talk to you right now. My head is not in the right place, I need to go," I replied.

He nodded and got out of my car, I turned the engine over. He stared at me and I put my head down, blinking away tears I couldn't explain. I drove off, heading back towards home. I needed to be alone.

---------------------

I lied in bed, staring at the ceiling. I wasn't sure why I felt so hurt. JC wasn't my boyfriend, we never established anything like that, but I still felt bad. My phone was ringing off the hook and after about the 5th time it rang, I answered it.

"Hello?" I greeted sluggishly.

"What the hell was that about, Esamar?!" Donni asked.

"Why would you do that to me?" I responded.

"I thought you'd be happy to see him, but obviously I was wrong," he replied.

"He's been M.I.A. with me for two years, I don't think putting me in that position would've made me happy," I said.

"I gave him your number, so he'll be calling you," he told me.

"You did what? Why the hell would you do that?" I asked.

"Esamar, he really wants to explain things to you. So suck up your shit and don't be this way. Don't you deserve an explanation?"

"Fine Donni, I don't have the energy to argue with you because of the mass of energy I'm using elsewhere, so whatever, bye."

I hung up the phone and slammed back into my mattress. I had so much going through my mind, so many questions. Why didn't he come back to the studio sooner, if he had my number? What made him decide now was the best time to come back? I wondered.

I heard my phone ring and I wasn't sure whether I wanted to answer it. I let it ring once more, and then I picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's JC, Donni gave me your number, don't be mad."

"I'm not, talk.......please," I quietly said.

"I know you're mad at me, Esa, but there were many reasons why I couldn't get in contact with you," he said.

I cleared my throat. "I have all day, tell me what they are."

"I got caught up in work and I was very busy. I had some personal issues to work out and I needed time away from everyone. And, I wanted to calm all the suspicions about us. People would follow me when I tried to come to your house, so I would keep going and never come. They would follow me to the studio, so I didn't go. I wanted things to die down, I didn't wanna be responsible for you being harassed," he explained.

I felt stupid for being angry at him, but I was still upset. I don't know why, I mean he told me why he couldn't and I believe him. Yet I was still uneasy.

"I didn't mean to be so difficult, but.........I just missed you is all," I quickly said, hoping he didn't catch it.

"I missed you, too.....a lot, actually," he told me.

I was embarrassed, but I'm not sure if it was from him catching what I said or him saying he missed me a lot.

"I'm gonna go make a quick run, so I'll talk to you later," he said.

"Wait, um, can I come with?" I asked.

"Are you sure? Things could get hectic if we're seen," he warned.

"No, I don't mind at all," I said confidently.

"Alright, I'm bringing a friend," he said.

"Okay, that's cool," I said. We hung up with one another and I got out of bed, grabbing my keys and phone then heading downstairs to the living room to wait.

I was watching a movie on TV, when I heard a knock on the door. I opened and JC was standing there in the outfit aforementioned and it hit me. It's hard to be mad with someone who looked strikingly beautiful. He stood there unsure of what reaction he would get from me. I opened my arms for a hug and we fell into each other's embrace.

I closed up my house and went to the car where the door was opened for me. I didn't see who was inside, the windows are tinted, I just hope it's not a female. I got in the car and I couldn't believe who the hell turned around and greeted me.

"Hi, I'm Justin, nice to meet you," he said.

I was frozen. This was like the best set up, EVER. JC and Justin Timberlake? That's like one of the best fantasies to have! Well.....at least in MY fantasy that is.

"Hello, wow, you have to forgive me, this is like the best dream I've never had. I'm.....who am I? Esamar," I greeted.

He smiled. "I don't think I've been that good to make a girl forget her name, no I'm just kidding."

I laughed and shook my head. This was going to be interesting, but I was ready to wring JC's neck.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"It would ruin the surprise you've been waiting 12 years for, I wouldn't do that to you," he replied.

I stared at him; I couldn't even tell you how I was feeling about him at that moment. The only other guy that cared anything about how I felt was Adonis.

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"Nothing, I just......thank you so much. It was really sweet of you and I appreciate it especially after how I was acting," I told him.

"It's no problem, anything for a fan, right?" I nodded and tapped Justin. THE Justin.

"Thank you, too. You don't know how much this means to me. But now that you're both here, am I ever hearing music from you two?" I may never get to ask that question again.

"I don't even know to tell you the truth," Justin told me.

"I can help, I'm a rapper. They call me MC break-a-face," I joked.

"Wow," JC chuckled. "Great, just what I need, another one of him," he said, pointing to Justin.

"What's that supposed to mean, are you an Aquarius or something?" Justin asked me.

"Yes indeed, February 11th," I replied.

We high fived each other and I thought, 'I just touched Justin's hand'. Yeah, I know, dork.

He seems to be genuinely apologetic, introducing me to his best friend and everything. I'd really like to try our friendship again so we could get to know each other even better.

We pulled up in front of Whole Foods, and Justin opened the door for me. "Thank you, sir. You guys are gonna have to stop being gentlemen because once I'm spoiled, I'm spoiled."

"Then you'll just have to be spoiled. I'm surprised that you're not telling us to shove it because we're oppressing you," said Justin.

"I'm all for women independence, but being polite and having manners are totally different. I'm still an independent woman no matter what you do," I replied.

"Good deal," JC said as he grabbed a cart.

It was a pretty normal shopping experience, mostly because it was a bunch of elderly people there who wouldn't know JC or Justin if they were standing next to a magazine cover with their face on it. We were acting pretty silly in the store, but who doesn't? I would've liked to ride in the cart, if Justin didn't beat me to it first. I felt my phone vibrate, so I fell behind and checked to see what it was.

From: Adonis

Did you make up with JC 

To: Adonis

Yeah, I'm at Whole Foods with him.....and Justin Timberlake.

=D

From: Adonis

You're grocery shopping with JC AND Justin?! How the HELL did you pull that off?! How much making up did you guys do? ;)

I sighed, rolling my eyes.

To: Adonis

You're an idiot for that. I didn't do a thing with him, we just talked about it. Though it is nice that you think I'm a whore. Sweet. =|

From: Adonis

You talked about it? Wow. He must really be into you. Do I hear wedding bells?

"Ugh, ass," I whispered.

To: Adonis

You're an ass for saying that. We haven't even really gone out with each other on that level.

From: Adonis

Ask him out on a date then. Be unconventional like you always are. I bet he'd really like it.

I put my phone back in my bag and looked for the guys. I caught up with them and they were already in the checkout aisle.

"Oh, there you are. Wanna split some M&M's?" JC asked me. I checked to see if they were the peanut kind and nodded.

"Who are you having a party for?" I asked as we were putting the groceries into the back of the truck.

"Only me and Justin," he laughed.

I smiled and waited for Justin to get in the car after the back was closed.

"When do I get to take you out, Mr. Chasez?"

"Are you.......asking me out on a date, Ms. Bradley?"

"Yes, I'd like us to try our friendship again so we can get to know each other better," I replied.

"Mm, how much alone time are you willing to give me?" he whispered in my ear. I felt a warm chill throughout my entire body.

"As much as you work for," I teased.

He bit my neck and I quickly pushed him away.

"Whoo, I need to get in the car," I said.

He smiled and shook his head as he opened the door on his side. I opened the window, trying to let that cool air hit me asap, I was hot all over. I felt him tap my shoulder and I turned my attention toward him. He handed me the M&M bag.

"When would you like to go?" he asked.

"I was hoping you'd tell me. I believe your schedule is a bit busier than mine," I replied.

"That doesn't matter, I'll make the time," he said.

"How is next Friday?" I asked.

"I'll call you and let you know," he replied.

We pulled up back in front of my house. I signaled for them to come with me.

Um, you guys can hang out in the living room and watch old DVD's and such of yourself or you can just sit in the living room," I suggested.

"How much are we gonna regret the first option?" JC asked.

"Depends on how you feel, and I'm taking that as a yes," I replied. I showed them to the living room and pulled out my PopOdyssey DVD. Yes, I torture celebrities with their past. I did it, that's right, I'm bad.

I hit the play button and I disappeared upstairs to my room so I could push my bangs back into my ponytail. As soon as I was about to head out of my room door, I came face to face with my cousin Evalyn.

"Oh my God! You scared the shit out of me! Don't DO that!" I said, trying to catch my breath.

"Okay, either I'm on an acid trip or two-fifths of NSYNC is on the couch watching themselves," she said.

"It's definitely the acid trip," I laughed.

"I thought JC fell off the planet," she commented.

"He showed up today at Donni's studio. Want me to introduce you or re-introduce or whatever?"

"Uh YEAH, how retarded do you think I am?" She asked.

As soon as I was about to open my mouth, she put her hand up. "Don't you dare answer that."

I laughed as we came down the stairs, giggling like we were 12 again, watching music videos. We both walked in and all eyes were on us; I mean glued. Must have been the jeans.

"JC, you remember my cousin Evalyn. Justin, this is Evalyn. Eva, you know who they are," I introduced. She greeted them and went to shake their hands. Her face was so red; I could tell as soon as she got to her room, she was going to explode.

"We're actually hanging out at my place after this, maybe you, Evalyn, and Donni can drop by," he invited.

"Definitely," I replied.

"Nice meeting you, Mr. Timberlake. I'll paparazzi you later on if I can make it to the kickback," I said.

"It was a pleasure meeting you, too. And I'll be sure to wear my Speedo's," he smiled. Eva said her goodbyes and disappeared into the downstairs bathroom.

I laughed, stopping JC at the door. "Stay inside for a second?" I asked.

He nodded and stepped back. I closed the door and leaned against it. "Come here," I said.

He walked over to me and I gently pulled him into me, hugging him. He was shocked, hell, I was shocked, but he wrapped his arms around my waist. He held me tight and we bobbed from left to right.

"What was that for?" he asked, his voice was low and sexy.

"For.....everything. Letting me meet Justin when I was being so rude to you and being hot helped, too," I joked.

He laughed. I finally let him go and opened the door for him.

"You're welcome, I'll see you later?" he called out.

"Hopefully," I said. I watched as he pulled out the driveway and took off down the street. I closed the door and sank down against it. I felt like I was back in junior high, crushing on one of the cutest guys in school.

"Someone's in love." My eyes shot up at Evalyn and I quickly got up off the floor. We walked into the living room, plopping down on the couch.

"I'm not in love with anyone, you know how I feel about "love"," I said.

"I beg to differ. That didn't look like an 'I like you' move," she responded.

I sent Donni a text asking if he was going to come with us to JC's small kickback, but he replied saying he had to do some late working at the studio and then finish up some homework.

"Oh......have you and JC ever, um, taken a train ride together?" she asked.

"Oh God, noooo. We almost did two years ago, but he chose not to," I replied.

"He didn't have sex with you? He is drop dead in love with you," Eva said.

"No, he's not. He just wants to get to know me better," I said.

"Wow, maybe I should date Chris Kirkpatrick if that's how guys in their 30's act," she joked.

"Well he does still look pretty good, go for it. I don't know when this kickback thing is, so you might wanna start getting at least halfway ready," I suggested.

"Cool. Answer this first though. Isn't it weird Justin was always your crush and now you're connecting with JC?" she asked.

"Ironic, yeah. I don't know, maybe Justin didn't need me. He does have a girlfriend at the moment," I replied.

"Meaning JC's the one who probably needs you?" she asked.

I nodded my head and I watched as she shook hers 'no'. "Why are you saying no?"

"I don't think JC needs you; I think.....you need JC."

I was shocked mostly from hearing that. I needed JC? Eva and I went up to my floor and I plopped down on my couch.

"What's the matter?" she asked me.

"No--"

"Don't tell me nothing, I'm not a stranger. I know when something's wrong," she interrupted.

I sighed, driving my fingers through my hair. "What did you mean by I need JC?"

"It's just my personal opinion, but I think that even though Justin might have been the path you wanted to cross, he wasn't the path you needed to cross. JC was put in your path because you need someone like him. Why you need him? It's too soon to tell," she explained.

"How come it's not JC needing me?" I asked again.

"You know why. I don't think he walks around like he doesn't need anybody, Esamar," she replied.

"That makes me worry," I said.

"Don't think too much into it, because I know how you get. Do me a favor though, don't hold back with him. I know you wanna be friends with him, but you never know where that could take you."

"I don't think JC and I are like that anymore," I told her.

"You don't know that. I don't think he'll let you slip away that easily again."

"You make it sound like he's falling in love with me or something and you know I can't let that happen," I said.

"Esa, you can do all the fighting you want. But when love really hits you, nothing you do will be able to stop it. Now let's go to this thing, I'm hungry and I know he's got snackage."

I followed her out the door, making sure to leave a note for my mom in case she got home before us. As I got in the car, I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts, I didn't realize I had no idea where I was going. I quickly called JC on speaker and put the phone in Eva's hand.

"Hello?"

"Hey JC, it's Esa. Where the hell am I going?"

I heard him chuckle and I tried my best to not let my mind wander back to my thoughts as I received directions. Joshua, the one I need?

"Ladies, come on in," he said as he opened the door wider. We walked in and waited for him to take us to the designated area. We went all the way to his basement, which he didn't show me last time, and Justin was down there playing Rock Band.

"Hey ladies, I'd look at you but I'm in the zone," Justin said.

I giggled softly. "No problem, I want the drums and Eva can have the bass."

"And what am I supposed to do?" JC asked.

"Sing, duhhh. I've been dying to hear you sing and I believe I've just accomplished in tricking you to do it," I replied.

He smiled and nodded his head. "Well played, Bradley. Well played."

We all took our places and began the game again as multi-players. It was hard not to laugh during the entire thing. The bond between JC and Justin was just....one that I didn't think you could have with someone who wasn't related to you and of the same sex. They really were brothers and it was touching to see how much they had fun together; Eva and I were in knots the whole time.

Once we decided to take a break, JC got up to get everyone beverages. I told Eva I'd be back and to be good, then I went upstairs, trying to catch up. He was running the kitchen faucet, so I crept up behind him and softly pushed my fingers into his back.

"Heyyy. You scared the crap outta me," he said.

I laughed. "I just came to help, that's all," I said.

"Great, but now that I've got you alone, I wanna ask you something," he said.

"That's fine, shoot."

"Last time we were here......did you really want me to stop?" he asked.

"Yes....and no," I replied.

"Okay, so it wasn't just me," he told me.

"You mean you kinda wanted to go further?" I asked.

I leaned against the sink and he stood in front of me. I dropped our eye contact, glancing up at him every few seconds.

"I did.....but I didn't," he replied.

"Because I was 18, right?" I asked as I grabbed some sodas.

"Yeah, I didn't want to do anything I'd regret," he replied.

"Totally understandable, I felt the same way," I said, walking back down to the basement.

Justin and Evalyn were still playing Rock Band, so I placed the sodas on the table and sat on the couch. I saw JC walking down the stairs and he stopped, telling me to come here.

"I'll be right back, I wanna see what's taking JC so long," I said.

"Yeah, whatever, I love you, bye," Eva said.

I went up the stairs and stood in front of him. I mouthed 'what?' and he took my hand, leading me back up to the kitchen.

"JC...what are you doing?" I asked.

"You're not 18 anymore, Esamar," he replied.

"I know that, Joshua," I trailed.

"And......" he began.

"JC....are you being a bad boy?" I asked as I walked backward, heading toward the staircase.

He stood, watching me as I played around near the stairs. As soon as he began to walk toward the staircase, we both heard Justin calling out for JC. I quickly sat down on a stair and waited for Justin to meet us, along with Eva.

"Oh, there you are. I gotta head out early bro; I'll call you later though. Bye Evalyn and Esamar hope I will be seeing you guys soon," Justin said.

We both gave him a hug goodbye and I decided I'd better follow suit and get home as well.

"Eva, meet me in the car, I just need a second," I said.

"Will do, nice to meet you JC, thanks for the invite," said Eva.

I waited for him to say his goodbye, closing the door after I threw her the keys.

"Were you being a tease?" he asked me.

"Guess you'll never know," I replied as I walked toward the door.

He walked over and pulled me in for a hug. He smelled so manly but there

was a tinge of a scent mixed in that calmed it down instead of the usual overbearing in scents for men. I inhaled and just exhaled into his arms, feeling like I was.....home.

"Until next time, Mr. Chasez," I said quietly.

"'Til then, Ms. Bradley," he smiled.

I proceeded to walk out the door. I waved one last time before I got into my car and he closed the door. Eva stared at me, smiling the whole time I drove us back home.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked.

"You've got it bad and he's got it ten times worse," she replied.

"Eva, come on, stop with that nonsense," I said.

"It's not nonsense. Me and Justin had a small talk and even he agrees that he's never seen JC look at someone the way he looks at you."

"How can he be that much into me when we're only friends?" I asked.

"I don't know, how can you be that much into him?"

"Eva, please...," I began.

"I don't know why you're denying it, you like him and he likes you," she said.

We rode the rest of the ride in silence. I wasted no time getting in bed, I just wanted to chill and make sure that my relaxing time was being put to good use.

As soon as I was about to doze off, I felt my phone vibrate; it was a text from JC.

From: JC

Are you up?

To: JC

Barely, why wassup?

From: JC

Nvm then, hit you up later.

To: JC

If you're sure then, NIGHT! lol.

From: JC

GN. =)

I randomly looked through my phone, searching my photo albums and I came across a picture I hadn't seen before. I blew it up to full screen and it was JC. He was biting his lip and his eyes were amazingly intense, staring straight into the lens, like he was looking into directly at me. I was drooling all over the place. God....he looked....wait, how the hell?

To: JC

The picture?! =O

From: JC

When you left the kitchen, you left your phone. I'm guessing you like it though, lol.

To: JC

Uh.....YEAH! I like it. How am I supposed to sleep now? GOD! Thanks Joshua! =D

From: JC

Well, what better time for you to see than before you sleep? Sweet dreams. =D

To: JC

Gracias. GN. =]

I took another look at JC's picture and put my phone back on the charger. He was such a naughty boy, but he was smooth, I won't deny it.

I woke up the next morning, bright and early.....at 10 am of course, but still pretty early. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom to take care of my morning business, then headed downstairs watch some Sunday morning cartoons on Boomerang. I wasn't sure what I wanted for breakfast, but I ended up getting some Lucky Charms and sat at the table.

"You're still glowing," I heard Eva say.

"Whatever," I said. I didn't even bother to look up at her.

"Aww, are you mad because of what I said yesterday? It's true Esamar, you just don't want it to be. Look, do you have Justin's number?" she asked.

"No, why would I have his number? I told you I'm not trying to get him caught up with Jessica," I replied.

"Because you're his best friend's.....new friend? Ugh, whatever. Did you check your phone?" she asked.

"No, I left it upsta--." She took off toward the staircase and ran upstairs to get my phone. I sighed heavily. What was wrong with that girl? She came back downstairs with my phone and she handed it to me.

"Here, now check," she said.

I rolled my eyes and scrolled through my contacts. I know my phone. I didn't ask Justin for his number, he didn't offer so his number wo--.

"Why is his number in my phone?!" I yelled.

"Call him and ask," she replied.

"I don't know what kind of conspiracy you're involved in with Justin, but you're supposed to be on my side," I said as I pushed the call button.

"Hello?"

"Hi, may I please speak to Justin?" I greeted.

"May I ask who's calling?"

"Esamar, JC's......fan...friend," I quickly said.

"Fan friend, nice title. What's going on?" he laughed.

"Any idea how your 7's got in my phone?"

"What had happened was, there was a lake and this guy was chopping this tree and he yelled "Timber!" and that's where my last name comes from," he replied.

I tried not to laugh, but that was just too retarded not to laugh at. "Justin! That has nothing to do with what I asked."

"It was JC, he told me to do it," he laughed.

"What? See, he's trying to get me into a fight with Jessica Biel, I don't appreciate this since I can't afford security," I joked.

"Nah, I'm kidding. I did it willingly, though I have to admit, I'm usually not so cool with any of JC's girlfriends, I mean fan friends," he said.

I put my forehead into my palm. "I'm gonna let that slide. But before I leave you be, I need to ask you something."

"Go for it."

"What did you tell Evalyn about JC's feelings are toward me?" I asked.

"Hmm. You're definitely a bit younger, but JC's really comfortable around you. Like he's known you for as long as he's known me. You don't act like most girls your age, and I think that's what drew him to you in the first place. I know my boy and I've just never seen him light up the way he does with anyone else. I don't know you too well, but I do know that you like him just as much," he replied.

I didn't even know what to say. "Oh....wow."

"Your cousin told me that you get edgy about comments like that, but I used to feel the same way. Clamping yourself up doesn't make the feelings go away, no matter how hard you try. But I'm about to head out, so I'll text you," he said.

"Okay, thanks, bye."

"Bye."

I hung up my phone and finished up the last of my cereal. Eva was on the couch, turned around and waiting for me to say something.

"Well.....?" she prompted.

"What....I don't have anything to say," I said as I got up to rinse my bowl, placing it inside the dishwasher.

"Why not? Geez, what the hell did Justin say to make you speechless?" she asked.

"The same thing you said, except, hearing it straight from him, as someone who really knows JC is just.....I don't know."

"You heard the truth, then. He's probably denying it like you are, so don't think you're alone in this. I can bet that Justin talked to JC about you," she replied.

"We're just friends and even as a buddy, I don't know if I'd be ready to be pulled into the life he lives," I told her.

"I admit, it comes with the territory and it can get challenging, but you've always been a strong person," she said.

"Thanks. I mean, you're right, it's tough but it's what he sacrificed to do what he loves and I admire that," I said.

I was walking to go sit on the couch, when the doorbell rang, I slid my feet across the wood floor and I looked through the peephole to see who could possibly be at my door so early.

"Donni, why are you on my doorstep?" I asked as I swung the door open to let him in. I waited for him to get all the way inside before I pushed the door close and slid back over to the couch.

"I came for an explanation. Now how did you jump from making up to shopping with Justin Timberlake? How?" Donni asked me.

"I, uh....," I replied slowly. I knew that it was about to be 21 questions in here.

"Well......?" Eva asked.

"He told me he had an errand to run. All I did was ask to tag along, I didn't know the friend he was gonna be was Justin," I replied.

"He's such a sweetheart, bet he doesn't know you'd rather be screwing Justin," said Eva. She killed me with her bluntness sometimes.

"Oh wow, shut your face. That is not true," I said.

"Well are you guys ever gonna go on a date?" Donni asked.

"Nah, we are just friends. How many times do I have to say that?" I responded.

"Wait, let me get this straight, you're gonna let that fine piece of man just walk on by?" asked Eva.

"What the--. Eva, please seek mental help," I replied.

"Right now, what do you want?" asked Donni.

"I want your lovin', I want your revenge, you and me could write an erotic romance," I joked.

"I don't even know why you asked that pervert a question like that," Eva said. I laughed my butt off while they chatted.

"It's not only me, it's a mutual feeling, JC and I would like to remain friends," I said.

"Haven't you seen 'Just Friends'? That's the friend zone!" Donni shouted.

I giggled. "If he's interested in that way, he can ask me out, no one is stopping him."

"How come we never get that kind of benefit of the doubt?" Eva asked.

"You guys aren't gonna give me the pipe," I joked.

Donni scoffed. "Shit, all you had to do was ask."

I made a face at him and brushed him away. "Don't you even start with your patronizing." He cheesed and batted his eyelashes.

I was joking around, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't sexually attracted to JC, I mean the dream I had was only one of many that I had before, but it was different since I had already met him.

He was sweet, humble, and shockingly, shy, something you wouldn't even think he'd be since he's an entertainer but he really is and it drives me insane because it's sexually appealing to me. Don't ask why though, I wouldn't be able to explain. I just notice that he's very coy and it's the small things he does that I find the most attractive.

"Are you gonna be with JC today?" Eva asked me.

"No not that I know of. I'm all yours today," I replied. The second I finished my sentence, Justin texted me.

From: Justin

What are you doing today?

To: Justin

Hanging out with the homies.

From: Justin

Oh okay, well I know we just met and all, but JC's birthday is coming up and I know he'd like it if you helped me plan something? =]

I laughed. Smooth.

To: Justin

Slick!!! But yeah, most def. I'd love to help.

From: Justin

Sweeeeeet. I'll keep you posted.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"I was kinda hoping we would sit on the couch and just watch cartoons all day," Donni replied.

"Yeah you WOULD suggest that. Why don't you just hang out with JC?" Eva asked.

"Because he's not my boyfriend, I don't need to smother the guy, gosh," I replied.

"It's not smothering if you just met......I think," Eva said.

"What if he wants to see you?" Donni asked me.

I shrugged and kinda did it again by instinct. "I don't know, I guess let him see me? But he wouldn't anyway, he's busy doing something, most likely he's in the studio."

"He'd make time for you though, and that's such a sexy trait in a man, making time when he's busy. A lot of guys don't possess that and lots of women don't appreciate that," she said, emphasizing 'women'.

"Evalyn, don't start. I do appreciate him making the time for me, but I also don't need to take up every ounce of his free time," I replied.

"Fine, a day to cartoons it is," Donni said.

I plopped down on the couch and rested my head on Donni's shoulder. "Why did you do this for me in the first place? Everything with JC."

"Because you're my best friend and I knew how much it would mean to you, but I didn't plan for him to fall head over heels, you did that on your own," he replied.

I tapped him in his abs. "Either way, thank you," I replied.

He patted me on my knee. "Yeah, well if you ever get a chance to meet Halle Berry, well, you know." Eva and I laughed like fools, teasing him. The times with people that know me the best always eased my mind.

"Okay, serious time," Eva began. "Can you be honest and tell us how you feel about JC? How he makes you feel?"

I lifted my head off of Donni's shoulder and let the questions sit in. "Errr, I guess I can do that," I replied.

"He is a sweet person, he's funny, smart, hard-working, and I know we're cosmically different, but we've understood each other so well and connected so quickly, it scares me. I feel like.......I'm home when I'm with him and I've never felt like that with someone who wasn't you guys. He can be honest with me and me with him and there'll be no misunderstandings. He makes me feel.....like a woman. He doesn't treat me like an immature young adult. He's gorgeous, yes, ohhhh yes. What I like the most about him, physically, is his eyes. When he looks at me, I know I turn red. I feel so many things at once: cared for, happiness, comfort, but most of all....trust....," I trailed.

"Esamar.....if you could just see the way you look when you talk about him, you wouldn't believe it," Eva said.

"You, my dear friend, like him more than you'd like to admit," Donni added.

"You guys have been saying that, without any real evidence," I responded.

"All the evidence we need is how you just answered that question. You've taken that much from him in only two days. You seem to have noticed small things that most people don't even notice about their own friends," Eva said.

"How could you not notice some eyes like that, they're beautiful," I defended.

"Esa, you are in love with the man, just accept it," Donni said.

"I don't even believe in that love at first sight jazz. I'm still getting to know him, how can I be in love that quick?" I asked.

"You feel comfortable, that's how. He makes you feel safe. I know you don't wanna admit it because you're afraid it won't be mutual, but from the looks of it, Mr. Joshua is crazy about you," she replied.

"Yeah, yeah, I never see it, why not?"

"Why would he make it obvious to you? I told you he's probably denying the same thing you are," Eva replied.

"Then how would you guys possibly know that he's crazy about me?"

"How many times do I have to go over this? At the party, there were females everywhere, fawning all over him. Yet the minute he met you, he didn't take his attention away from you, once. At the studio, half naked women all over the place, but he couldn't stop glancing over at where you were. Of course, you found your Touch more interesting, so you wouldn't have even seen that," Donni replied.

We continued to talk and they were right about some things, but we were just friends. After two years, I think that's fair enough. Evalyn and Adonis want to see me happy and I don't know what made them think I was unhappy to begin with. Doesn't mean JC can make me a happy person.

After spending all day hanging out with my dears, I retired up to my room and got ready to take a shower. I heard my phone vibrating on my nightstand, so I ran quickly to pick it up.

"Hello?" I greeted.

"Hey, it's JC, what are you up to?" he asked.

"I was just about to take a shower, but it can wait," I replied.

"A shower, hmm. I don't think I wanna interrupt that," he said lowly.

I smiled. "Mr. Chasez, you're being naughty again. I don't wanna have to teach you a lesson," I teased.

"Put me out of my misery and teach me a lesson, please," he said innocently.

"Can you come over?" I blurted out.

"I can, but only if you want me to," he replied softly.

"I want you to," I said.

What the hell? Stop! Don't do it!

"I'll be there in 10 minutes, so that should be plenty of time for your shower," he told me.

"JC.....I'll wait, just come over," I said.

Too late, Kobe for the lay-up, Gasol for the slam dunk.

He sweetly said bye and we hung up. I threw myself back on my bed, thinking of what I just got myself into. It doesn't have to be anything, but apparently, it could be impossible.

I waited and waited, 10 minutes felt like an hour by the time I got a text message, telling me he was outside. I went downstairs quietly; I didn't want Eva to hear me. I quickly and quietly went to the door, pulling him up the stairs and locking the door at the bottom of my steps as he walked up to my sanctuary.

"Wow, this is pretty awesome, I would've loved this when I was growing up," he said.

"Thanks. So what were you up to today?" I asked.

"I was just in the studio, Justin came by and he was helping me with some things, that's pretty much it. What about you? What'd you get into?" he responded.

"Me, Eva, and Donni just hung out on the couch, watching cartoons and talking," I replied as I sat down next to him on my small couch.

"Haha sounds relaxing," he said.

"Oh it was, but being in the studio sounds relaxing, too. All the music, the creative process. It has to give you a huge adrenaline rush," I said.

He nodded. "It does. Definitely something I love doing."

He looked at my coffee table; I had CD's all spread out: Off The Wall, Justified, FutureSex/LoveSounds, This Is Us, Thriller, Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends. JC picked up the CD case for his album 'Schizophrenic'.

"What'd you really think of this?"

"The first time I heard it, I felt…well I felt stupid. I was a kid at the time and to be rebellious because the group broke up, I gave no ones album any love. I still loved you guys, but I didn’t think to buy the albums. I must say though, it was very innovative, no song sounds like the other. There's so much diversity and you went into different genres, I love it. What I love most is that it's not outdated, you can play the tracks anywhere and it'll be synonymous with what's popular today. You were definitely ahead of your time, I wish that it got the respect it definitely deserves," I replied.

He stared into my eyes; I felt all those feelings I described earlier.

"What.....?" I asked nervously.

"Thank you, very much," he replied.

"Well.....ahem.....um, I'm gonna go take that shower now," I said as I stood up.

He looked up at me, increasing our tension between each other. I licked my lips and went into the bathroom. I thought of him and what he was doing in my room. Was he looking through my things…or still sitting down wondering what his next move was. I was so nervous and hell-bent on getting into the bathroom; it didn't even cross my mind to get my clothes. But, it really wouldn’t since I usually put them on inside my room.

I crept out of the bathroom in my towel, my hair was dripping wet. The windows were open, blowing the cool coastal breeze throughout my floor, so I wanted to get into clothes quickly before I got sick.   As I walked past him, I felt his eyes burn into my body.

"Is this my punishment? Because if it is, I'm feeling extremely punished right now," he said.

I turned toward him, shaking my head as I slowly closed my room door. I put lotion on my skin and quickly slipped on a big t-shirt. I threw my hair up into a high bun, after drying my hair as much as possible. Is this really what I wanted to do? I mean, who knows, maybe nothing will happen at all. Or maybe I completely lied to myself and I know something will happen. Without anymore thought, I walked out of my room and he looked up, his eyes were wide, but he gave me a playful smirk.

"You look so cute," he complimented.

I walked over to him and took his hand, pulling him off the couch. "Thank you." I slowly walked him into my room, letting his hand go, so I could shut the door.

"Sit," I told him.

He wasn't sure what I was doing, so his facial expression was more than confused, but he sat down. I walked over, joining him on my bed. He turned slightly to look at me, and I slid back toward the head of my bed.

I thought long and hard about my next move. I put out my index finger, giving him the signal 'come here'. I heard him kick off his shoes; he took off his jacket, placing it on my cushioned chair. He slowly crept across my mattress, hovering over me as he came closer. We were silent, only the sound of us breathing hard was heard. I put my hand on the side of his face, caressing his cheek. His eyes melted my insides, what was he doing to me?

"Ms. Bradley, may I kiss you?" he whispered.

"Only if you promise not to stop, Mr. Chasez," I replied.

He grazed his lips softly against mine, biting my bottom lip. Slowly he took his lips down to my neck, kissing certain spots that I didn't even know made me aroused. I let him lift up my big shirt and take it off. He scanned my half-naked body; he gently rubbed my arms while he trailed his tongue down to my cleavage. He pulled down the straps of my bra, his soft lips against my skin made goose bumps appear on the back of my neck. The height of pleasure I was feeling as his lips met my breast was too much, I couldn't make a sound.

I watched him as he took off his shirt, and threw it on the carpet. I ran my hands up his bare chest, kissing his stomach, running my tongue around his lower abdomen. He moaned softly at the touch of my tongue, running his fingers through my hair; my hormones went off in all different directions. I pulled back, trying to calm the seductress that was arising inside me.

"What's the matter?" he asked me.

"Is it bad that I really want you?" I asked.

"Not at all, I'd like to think that's a good thing," he smiled.

"I'm attracted to you, C, but this isn't what friends do," I replied. Only for him to put his finger to my lips and guide my hands to loosen his belt and undo only the button on his jeans.

He placed himself on top of me lightly, his hand running over my thigh. We began to kiss roughly, pulling away so he could wet his fingers. He stared into my eyes as his fingers teased the fabric of my underwear, finding their way inside of me. I winced slightly.

"You're really....," he whispered in my ear.

"I know, but I'm not one...," I whispered back.

He looked back into my eyes as he began to establish a slow pace. I moaned a little and he kept whispering in my ear 'keep your eyes on mine'. It took a while not to close my eyes as pleasure took its toll, but I held his gaze and it made everything that was happening so much better. The intensity he possessed in his eyes let me know how amazing a lover he was. The pace was still slow, JC explored every inch of my insides with his fingers, doing things that no man had ever done to me before.

As I came closer to my peak, he covered his lips with mine to quiet down my rising moans while he quickened the pace of his fingers. I still held his aggressive gaze; my fingers digging into his back, his thumb caressed my cherry as he pushed his fingers deeper. I moaned into his ear, feeling him harden through his jeans against the lower part of my thigh. His heavy breathing brought me closer and closer. When I caved I let out my pleasures in his ear, biting his earlobe softly as tears ran down my cheeks. He kissed my tears away then pecked my lips softly.

I let him brush my hair out my face; it loosened in the mix of things. I don't feel like how I assumed I would. I thought I'd be embarrassed and want JC to quickly leave, but I don't. I feel closer to him like, I just want to be near him.

"Bathroom," he told me as he got up. I nodded and watched him leave. I got under my sheets and blanket, lying down on my pillow. I didn’t do much, but I was exhausted.

Sure enough when I opened my eyes, the sun smacked me directly in them. I completely fell asleep on him! I felt JC's arm wrapped around my body, we were totally spooning and I admit it was very cute, but no one else can know that. He's supposed to be only a friend......who just, never-mind.

"Josh.....Josh....," I said gently.

I felt him shift and his grip around me loosened. I realized I was still very much in my bra and underwear, so I grabbed JC's t-shirt and quickly put it on. I got out of bed; I didn't oversleep, so I had plenty of time to get ready for school. I turned around to see if JC went back to sleep, but he was watching me.

"What....is my butt showing or something?" I joked.

He smiled. "No, you just look very sexy in my shirt."

"Want me to return that photo favor before I go shower?" I suggested.

He bit his lip and grabbed his phone. I came over to his side of the bed and posed for him, positive that if this was someone different, I’d feel ashamed. But it was different with JC….like I mentioned before, it was the small things he did that I found attractive. I also remembered those pictures I snuck and took of him on Saturday and saw how the irony played out.

"Oh ho, be prepared because I want another personal photoshoot, too," I told him.

"Fair enough, but I am so not wearing a tube top or whatever," he joked.

I shook my head as I dashed out my room, into the bathroom. I really thought he'd be knocked out while I got dressed, but he watched me the whole time. It was weird for me, but it was so cute how interested he was.

"You know, it in no way freaks me out that you're watching me," I said, smiling at him through my mirror.

"Oh ha-ha, funny. I honestly didn't know I was watching like that. But you are an awesome person to watch get ready for school, especially when you randomly break out in song and dance, forgetting I'm here," he laughed.

I giggled and handed him back his shirt when I was all finished. "There's some extra toothbrushes in the cabinet and whatever else you need, I will be randomly singing and dancing while I wait."

I playfully patted him on butt as he walked out my room and went to go do whatever a man's equivalent is to a woman's 'freshen up'. I sat on my couch, placing things I needed inside of my backpack. When he came out of my bathroom, I stood up and put my backpack over my shoulder.

"Geez, JC, take an hour why don't you?" I teased.

He poked me in my cheek and followed me downstairs. I knew my mom was long gone and I knew Eva had to leave early, so I didn't tread softly around the house.

"Bagel?" I offered.

"Surrrrre," he replied.

I handed him one and grabbed one for myself and we hit the pavement. The car was silent, but I was eating my bagel anyway, so I didn't mind. Then something hit me.

"Oh! I'm so sorry I passed out on you!" I remembered.

He laughed and shook his head. "Well, heh heh, I wasn't expecting you to stay awake. I do have it like that."

"Way to toot your own horn," I laughed.

"I'm kidding, but it's cool. Speaking of last night......what made it possible?" he asked.

"Meaning, what possessed me to ask you to come over?" He nodded. "I don't know. I thought out loud. I wouldn't take it back for anything though. It was an experience that was a first for me. No one's ever actually taken the time to explore me," I explained.

"I wouldn't either. I thought I'd feel weird afterward and wanna disappear, but I didn't. I felt.......good," he told me.

Am I nuts or did he just brain ninja me?

"Really, I thought the same thing. I thought I'd be embarrassed or something, but I'm not."

"Really? Wow....so.......where do we take it from here?"

"I'm not so sure JC," I answered.

"Can we talk about it later?"

"Yes we can," I replied.

We pulled into the parking lot of my school's campus and we sat for a few seconds. I wasn't sure what to do. Do I kiss him or just pat him on the knee? Technically, we're not a couple but we got closer than I initially planned. Before I could eeny meeny miny mo, JC pulled my chin and planted one on my lips. It was intended for a quick kiss, but I held him longer, for a deeper one. When we finally did pull apart, we just stared at one another.

"Have a good day, sweetheart," he said.

"You do the same, get some sleep," I told him.

I got out of his car and began to walk toward my designated building. I had three classes to get through and I needed some sug-- did he call me sweetheart? Sugar, I definitely need sugar. To the bookstore I go.

"Get up!" I heard Justin yell. He was jumping on my bed.

"Dude, go away!" I yelled back, pulling my blankets over me.

"I bet if I was Esa, you wouldn't be telling me to go away. By the way, you did an awesome job in finding a new girl with some rhythm. Sweet," he said.

"Fuck. Off," I said.

He laughed and hopped off my bed. I finally got up and went to the bathroom. I had a good nap and now it's ruined.

"I was surprised when we were dancing. Nothing about her would seem like it matches the person she is when she dances," I said as I followed Justin down to the kitchen.

"And you noticed? Wow, JC.......can I be your best man?" he asked jokingly.

I almost threw an ice cube at him. "What? Dude, whatever, it's not even like that. I like her, but marriage? Off your ass with that one," I replied.

"You never know. I think you might be with her longer than Bobbie," he said.

I rolled my eyes. Bobbie was a great girl, but things just didn't work out. "What makes you think that?" I asked.

"You've dealt with me for this long," he replied.

I laughed. "That's true, but she's a girl, totally different kind of relationship."

"Isn't her homeboy's birthday a few days after yours?"

How the hell does he even KNOW that? "So? From what I can see, they've never even thought of being a couple."

"Doesn't matter, still been friends for a long time," he shot.

"What is your obsession with trying to make this be my dream relationship? Why don't you just pop the question, so you can leave me be?" I asked as I poured some cereal.

"Whoa, whoa, marriage is not on the radar right now," he replied.

"Marriage isn't on my radar either. Esa and I are just friends," I defended.

"She just might let you tie her down. I'm tryin' to tell you that she's lovestoned and I think that you know," he joked. Only Justin would quote his own song in times like these.

"You sir, are an ass. I do know that she's attracted to me, or else last night would've never happened," I said, letting the last part slip before I could catch it.

"What! What happened last night?" he asked, taking a seat at the countertop.

"I called her last night and we're talking, then outta nowhere she invites me over. She's got like, her own floor, and we're on her couch talking and she goes and showers. I don't know if she was being a tease or what, but she comes out the bathroom, in her towel, dripping wet. I'm just like 'oh shit' in my head, can't stop looking at her until she closes her door. She opened her door and she's standing there in just a big t-shirt, she pulls me off the couch and into her bedroom. She tells me to sit and I'm just like, I don't know what she's doing, I can only be teased for so long. But it was hard to determine if that's what she was doing or not. Next thing I know, we're both half-naked and we're kissing and touching. I....well...I used my fingers a lot and she was out cold for the night," I explained, catching my breath.

I would've given him a shorter, one sentence summary, but I know how Justin is about details. He sat there, silent, with his mouth open, I couldn't help but laugh. "Care to say anything?" I asked.

"How'd she look naked?"

"Dude!" I yelled, throwing a pot holder at him.

He laughed and caught it. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. You didn't have sex, though?"

I shook my head. "I know that she wanted to and I know that I sure as hell wanted to, but something stopped us. Just couldn't do it," I replied.

"You guys care too much about each other, that's why. If you would've had sex and it was only just sex to you both, you wouldn't have stayed the night. You care about her, JC," he said.

"Of course I care, she's a sweet girl, I wouldn't want to hurt her, even if it was only sex," I replied.

"And it's not only sex that's between you and her?" he asked me.

"Nah, it's definitely more than that. We didn't really do anything extreme, but afterward, I just wanted to be with her," I admitted.

"You loooooooove her. JC loooooooves Esamar," Justin teased.

"I do not, I just like her."

I looked up and Justin was just shaking his head.

"Did you know you got a sparkle in your eye just now?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Shut up. I already said that I like her, what do you want from me?"

"For you to stop the lies; seriously though, what do you even like about her?" he asked.

"She's sweet, easy to talk to, intelligent; she makes me laugh, not to mention I find her very sexy. She's just......cool. I don't have to feel like I'm some macho dude, puttin' up a front just to impress her. I can just be me when I'm around her. It's like I've known her all my life. The level of maturity she possesses is one of my favorite qualities about her. Most women her age don't act the way she does. Most women MY age don't act the way she does. You know how women will act a certain way until they're getting comfortable and then afterward you find out their bat-shit crazy?"

He nodded, smiling. "I haven't known Esa long, but she's not like that. She's already being herself with me," I replied.

"You've got a keeper. She trusts you and all I'm saying is, don't fuck it up, JC, for Christ sake, don't fuck it up," he advised.

I laughed, as I got up to put my cereal bowl in the dishwasher.

"Why do I have to be the one that messes it up?" I asked.

"Because you usually do, you're a bit catty," he replied.

"Catty? Kiss my ass," I laughed.

"See? That right there, always ready to chop someone's head off," he said.

"I just have a hard time being with someone who's too demanding. I need my girl to understand that I have obligations that keep me away for long periods of time," I explained.

"Hey, I know the feeling. I can see that Esa understands that though, she's doesn't seem like the demanding type," he said.

"I know. She's like, way too good to be true or something," I said.

"There's only one way to find out. Don't fuck it up!" He laughed.

"Man, whatever, I'm not gonna fuck anything up. At least I'll try not to," I admitted.

"I guess people still do have those love at first sight experiences," he responded.

"I don't know about all that," I said.

"Why not? I mean, how else is the instant chemistry between you guys explained? It's almost scary how well you guys clicked."

I had to agree with him there, but of course I wasn't going to say it. It's funny how things work out, like I randomly met Esa for a reason and just up and decided to come see her again. Even though I like her, that reason is still undetermined.

"Of course we'd click, she's like you and Joey, but a female," I joked.

"Yeah dress it up anyway that you want. Are you even gonna take her out on a date?" he asked me.

"Um, I don't know?" I replied.

"See? This right here is the road to you fuckin' it up," he said.

"I don't know. I'm not sure what we're gonna do. We said Friday but that's it," I replied.

"Take her for a nice dinner and dancing. You get that chance for a one on one, and hopefully she's not like most women who just order salad and water. I hate those women," he said, rolling his eyes.

"True. I know that dancing is an option because she was intense that night I met her."

Justin got up and sat across from me at the booth. "How about we make it a group event? Get your one on one during dinner and we can all meet at the club, have some drinks, well we can at least, and have some fun," he suggested.

"Sure, but you think Jess will come?" I asked.

"Probably not, but it'll be fine. Esamar can invite her friends and we'll chill in VIP, and it'll be a night to remember," he replied.

"I'll let her know and hopefully I'll get it together by then."

"Come on, let's drag our asses to the studio, I can't afford to be late," he said.

I shook my head and ran upstairs to change into some clothes. I'm glad I got that nap in, but I would've liked to go to lunch with Esamar and just hang out.

I was so tired by the time I got home, I just fell flat out on the couch.

"Esamar!"

"Eva, leave me alone, I'm out for the count!" I groaned.

"I just came to ask you if this was your shirt? Your mom kept asking me if it was mines and I said no." She held up the shirt and I almost said no, until I realized that it was for JC.

"Yeah, it's mine, just throw it on my stairs, I'll get it," I quickly said.

"Seems kinda big for you, but ooooookay," she said as she walked back upstairs. I sighed heavily and got off the couch. I had to go up to my room and call JC.

I dropped my things by my computer desk and locked myself in my room. I fell onto my bed. I didn't notice before, but JC's scent was all over my bed, he smelled so damn good. I picked up my phone and called him.

"Hey mama, wassup?" he greeted.

"Hey, I'm good, how are you?" I asked.

"I'm doing great," he replied.

"That's good, um, you left your shirt here," I said, lowering my voice.

"Oh, I know. I liked how you looked in it, so I figured I'd let you have it," he said.

"But I handed it back to you; you didn't have to do that. Either way thanks, sir."

"No problem. Oh before I forget. There's this club that we're going to on Friday and Justin invited us as VIP, so if you wanted to come and invite your friends, it'd be fine. But I wanted you to tag along with me somewhere before we go," he explained.

"Awesome, sounds fun. Where are we going before the club?" I asked.

"I can't tell you where, but it's dressy-casual and I know you're not into the high heels thing....."

"No, no, no, it's fine. JC, I have no problem with dressing appropriately for the occassion. It's the least I can do since you're taking me clubbing afterward. I think a sexy dress and some matching heels will be the beginning of a thank you," I explained.

He chuckled softly. "I'm gonna second that motion," he joked.

"Awww, how sweet. I should be saying the same thing, you're hot enough for the both of us," I complimented.

"I don't even know what to say to that, but I admit I'm blushing," he said.

I giggled. "Awwww, Josh!" I teased.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." I chuckled softly.

"Do you know if the club plays reggae music?" I asked.

"I think so, why?"

"So I can learns you some stuff," I joked.

"I love the sound of that, learn me all you want," he said, his voice lowering.

"JC don't try to get all sexy with me, because it'll definitely work," I told him.

"That is duly noted. But I'm about to get in the booth, Justin says hi, so I'll talk to you when I can," he bade.

"Hey Justin. Alright then, bye JC."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and sent a quick club invite to Adonis and one to Eva because I didn't feel like leaving my bed. I got both back, saying they were going and I plunged my face into my pillow.

----------------- 

I shot up from my bed. I had stained tears on my cheeks. I looked at the clock, 3:23 am. I went to my bathroom to wash my face with cold water. I had to calm myself down. I went back in my room and I had a text from JC. I wasn't sure if I even wanted to look at it. My dream still had me on edge, but I decided to take a gander, anyway.

From JC:

I've got Red Vines, nyah nyah! =P

I smiled and laughed a bit. I know, for one, that wasn't JC, it was probably Justin being an uber dork. Either way, it made me chill out a little bit. I didn't wanna text back, because I wa-- "Lazy days, I'm in a hazy phase of watching countless ways in which my life goes crazy..." A text message from JC?

From JC:

Don't wanna wake you, ignore last text, it was Justin.

I shook my head, I knew it. Little did JC know, I was already awake.

To: JC

I'm awake, guys still at the studio?

From: JC

Yeah.....taking a break, but working hard.

To: JC

Mind if I come through for a spell?

From: JC

Don't you have school?

To: JC

Thanks to budget cuts, my first two classes are not in session tomorrow, lucky me.

From: JC

In that case, come on then. Um, Justin said to bring more Red Vines. Sigh.

To: JC

No problem, lol. Directions, I'm on my way.

He texted them to me and I put on some a white v-neck, comfy pajama pants, a black hoodie, and threw on my pair of J's. I quickly went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and I threw my hair into a messy bun. I grabbed my keys and tip-toed out the door. Good thing I was too tired to put my car in the garage yesterday. I got into the car and made a quick stop at a Wal-Mart and bought two tubs of Red Vines. Yes, I love them that much.

Soon enough, I pulled up in front of the studio, and JC quickly brung me inside. I saw Justin in the booth, so I guess that's why he practically ran me inside. I waved and showed him the Red Vines. He mouthed 'thank you' and smiled. I sat on the couch and opened my the tub as quietly as possible. I was interested in what was going on, but I couldn't stop thinking about my dream.

"Hey." I looked up. "You okay?" asked JC.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied.

"You were up so late doing homework?" he asked.

"Nah, I was sleeping. I had a bad dream and just woke up, couldn't go back to sleep," I explained.

"Aw, well if you get sleepy, you can knock out right where you are, we don't mind," he told me.

"Thanks." he nodded and turned back around. Both he and Justin were something special when it came to making music. They were definitely blessed with an incredible gift. I didn't know how much I was into watching them until I started to hum certain parts they were working on.

"I thought you would've been asleep by now," Justin said.

"What and miss this? No freakin' way, I can sleep anytime," I replied.

He laughed. "What do you think about what we're working on?"

"You guys don't hear me humming back here with Vines all in my mouth?" I asked jokingly.

"I guess that's a yes then," he replied laughing, taking a few Vines.

I smiled as I lied down on the couch. I listened to JC's voice the entire time, it was so soothing.....so sweet....so strong...so beautiful.

I woke up, feeling so relaxed and well rested, until I realized that I fell asleep in the studio and woke up, not in the studio.  I shot up, looking around and saw JC next to me, sleeping. He looked so peaceful.

"Aww," I whispered. After calming down, I knew that I was in a safe environment, JC's house. My only guess is that JC picked me up and took me to my car, drove us here, and then carried me up to his room. Which seemed to be true and it was more than sweet.

I gently lied back down and slid closer to him, laying my head on his shoulder and placing my arm across his waist. He jumped, frightening me and I rubbed his stomach.

"It's just me," I softly spoke.

He put his arm around me and pulled me closer. It took only a few seconds before I was sound asleep again. The feeling of him embracing me is what made me feel so comfortable.

I wasn't sure if it was real, but I felt like I was walking on air, running through the clouds, my hair blowing in the cool, breeze. Then everything went dark...

"Esamar!" My eyes shot open, tears were running down my cheeks. I saw JC, staring at me in pure fright. I quickly wrapped my arms around him and hugged him.

"Hey, hey, I'm here, I'm here," he consoled.

I felt so embarrassed, I was crying. I couldn't let him go, and he wouldn't let me. When I finally did break our embrace, he wiped the tears away, pushing my hair away from my face.

"Esa....tell me what's wrong," he gently said.

I took a deep breath. "Josh, we both know that what's beginning to happen between us is more than what we're trying to prevent."

"What are we trying to prevent?" he asked me. It was apparent that he wanted to know if we were on the same page.

"Falling for each other," I replied.

He chuckled softly. "It's a little too late for that Esamar, seems we already have fallen for each other. All we can do is try to slow things down as much as we can. I admit that I didn't plan to get so taken with you, but after everything that brung us back to each other, you're such a different breed of woman, I want to keep you around me."

I looked away, wiping away more tears that flowed. I pulled myself together. "Is that why you're being so sweet to me?"

"No, I'm not going to forget that you've supported and still support my music career alone and with the guys. There's no way to repay you, because without people like you, we wouldn't be in the position we're in today, providing for our families and others. As someone who appreciates his fans, it's the least I could do for one that I can't do for all. All that other stuff was so you'd let me kiss you," he joked.

I smiled and shook my head. "JC....I don't want us to get too much of each other too soon. I can't imagine myself resenting you or you resenting me. I thought our encounter would've made things clear, but it didn't."

"I understand and I don't want that either. How about we roll with the punches? Whatever happens, happens," he suggested.

"I'm cool with that," I said.

"Um, Esa......how bad do you still want me?" he asked, staring into my eyes, biting down on his bottom lip.

"You shall never know, HA, HA," I teased as I got up and went into the bathroom. I freshened up, brushing my teeth and washing my face, and then I went back into his room. He was nowhere to be found.

"J Sizzle? Where you be, dawg?" I asked jokingly.

I walked toward his room door entrance, about to go find him, when I felt his body heat behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist. "Speak your mind, tell me what you like, don't hold back now," he whispered into my ear.

I smiled, keeping quiet.

"I'll make love to ya, in 100 ways," he whispered.

I turned around and gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

"Hey now, we don't have to slow it down yet, lay one on me, mama," he joked.

I giggled as I wrapped his arms around my hips. I stood on my tippy toes, kissing him on the lips. He began to walk us back into his room, slowly moving his hands down my lower back. As soon as he began to squeeze and grab on my backside, our kiss got deeper. I slowly pulled away.

"I find it almost impossible to admit how bad I still want you," I said as trailed my fingertips up his t-shirt. He looked down at me, that same intensity I saw before was embedded into his falsely turquoise eyes. I wasn't frightened in the least though. I knew he could tear me apart and put me together again, but I wasn't going to shirk in fear. I'd match his ferocity with my own 12 years of pent up desire.

"Come on, let's go burn Pop Tarts together." But, I still walked away.

I grabbed his hand, in an attempt to pull him, but he didn't move. I turned to look back at him; he pulled me back. He pressed his body against mine. I'm not a tall person, so whatever I felt, I felt against my lower stomach. And he was in fact, very turned on.

"J.....," I began. He lifted me off the floor and onto his bed. As soon as he was about to make his next move, his phone began to go off.

"Shit!" he mumbled as he went to go answer it. I signaled to him that I'd be downstairs and gave me seductive eyes, licking his lips, as if to say "we're not done, but okay".

I walked out of his room and made it halfway down the stairs, before he was at the top of the stairs.

"Yoli, come here," he said softly. I found it extremely invigorating how he said my middle name.

My mind was telling me to go downstairs, but my body was already moving back up the steps. He took my hand and helped me onto his bed. He sat next to me and took my hand. I wasn't slightly confused; it was a lot more than slightly. He had me worried, like he was about to tell me something upsetting.

"Josh.....?"

"Um, I'm going to begin shooting for ABDC soon, I'm not sure of the date yet, but it's not too far off," he told me.

I let out a huge sigh of relief. "That's great, but why'd you sit me down like something tragic happened?"

"I wasn't sure how you were going to take it," he replied.

"Mr. Chasez, you are officially a dork. I'd never try to run interference. I know what you do, I love it, and I accept that because I'm trying to keep you as a friend before you realize how much of an NSYNC nut job I am ......was," I smiled.

He laughed and shook his head. "It's not happening, Chris is too old."

"Excuses! If the Jackson 5 did it, then you guys can," I replied.

"Either way, thanks for understanding."

"No problem, dude. Now come on, if you make me wait for Pop Tarts, I'll have to hurt you," I playfully threatened.

"Mm, do what you want, mama," he flirted.

I giggled and hopped off his bed. "You are such a bad boy, Mr. Chasez."

He nodded his head. "Am I? I'm ready to be taught a lesson, I really am."

"We'll see," I said before I left his room. I hit the bottom of the stairs before he came out of his room and started to come down.

"I don't even think there's a name for the level of teasing you possess," he said, sighing heavily.

"JC....whatever. You keep taking sexy tones with me and calling me mama, being sexy and stuff," I tried to explain.

"What?" he laughed.

"I don't know, I've still got chills from 5 minutes ago," I replied. Sad part is I was telling the truth.

"I will never fully understand why girls like that," he said.

I scoffed. "Dude please, you know exactly when you're being sexy."

His mouth dropped open as he pointed to himself. "Me? Nooooo. I know of no such things."

He began to walk over to me. I turned around in my seat to face him. He stood in front of me and put both hands of each of my thighs. He rubbed his hands smoothly up, looking up to stare into my eyes. "I think I would know when I was trying to be sexy."

The look in his eyes went rampant and ignited a fire I haven't been able to calm since he asked me to dance. My stomach got light and my blood started to race through my veins. The pace of my heart quickened.

"What do you call this then?" I asked, pulling him closer.

"You trying to seduce me," he smiled.

I rolled my eyes. "Don't put that on me because that's what you're trying to do."

"Then just let me have you, mami," he whispered. The feeling of his breath against my neck heightened all of my senses. JC Chasez was not going to make slowing down easy.

"For someone who says I tease a lot, you seem to torture me when you can."

I ran my fingers through his hair. He went and bit on that lip of his as I felt his breath trail from neck to my lips. There was something about being that close, staring into his eyes that made me feel calm. I trust him and that is such a hard thing for me to come to terms with since we were still fairly new to each other. It seems quite ridiculous to say you trust someone you're still getting to know. Welp, I'm ready for everyone to call me ridiculous then.

He softly rubbed his top lip against my bottom one, his hands moving from my thighs to grip both sides of my hips. I didn't necessarily push him away, but I slightly moved back so our lips weren't touching.

"Josh.....slowing down?" I asked.

"I am slowing down, that's why I'm taking forever to kiss you," he replied.

I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him in for a hug as we both laughed.

"Pop Tarts!" he yelled as we pulled apart.

"Oh boy, let me supervise before we get burned up," I sighed.

"Hunh, I put it in the toaster," he said as he smiled at me.

"Awwww, see you knew that was you being cute," I giggled and pinched his cheek.

We went down to the basement and played Rockband, just hanging out as friends and I had no problem with it. I actually feel more comfortable knowing that I can be good friends with someone I am attracted to. I'm aware of the sexual tension, but, a secret, I actually like the build up. It'll make the release all the more better.

"Heyyy, you cheated!" I yelled.

"What? We're on the same team!" we both started giggling like kids.

"I don't think I've had this much fun since I became a teenager," I said.

"Really? I haven't had this much fun in a while either. I'm looking to have more though," he said as he looked at me.

"Oh what, with me? I was hoping you'd provide all the fun, I've seen what you and the guys have done in your younger days," I said, walking back upstairs, going back up to his room to look for my keys.

JC came a minute or two behind me, standing in the doorway. I admired his slim frame. He had very defined facial features that made him such an attractive person to lay your eyes on.

"Are you leaving me?" he asked, pouting.

"Unfortunately yes, even though I'd love to stay here in my pajamas all day, I gotta shower and get to class," I said.

He crept up behind me, his lips passed against the skin of my neck.

"I have a shower and I have long t-shirts you can wear," he whispered.

I felt chills all over my body; goose bumps began to explode all over my skin. I took his arms and placed them around me.

"JC you suck so much right now," I whispered.

"If you need me to assist you in there, I can." His voice deepened as his hands trailed down my stomach. I released a whimper, my knees buckling.

"I'll see you on Friday," I said. With all my might, it took courage to fight off my urge, but there was a good reason for it.

"Friday," he responded as he released me. He placed a soft kiss on my cheek and smiled.

I felt dorky as I got into my car, I really didn't want to leave but I had to take a shower, get to class, then run some quick errands.

"Get out of bed, old girl!" a voice shouted.

I jumped up so quickly, I almost fell out of bed. I wasn't sure who it was, but they used the most horrific English accent I'd ever heard. I dragged off my mattress and walked into my open space.

"Adonis Noie, you'd better have a good excuse for waking me up at..." I turned to look at the clock. "1:48 in the afternoon."

"I didn't even expect you to be here. I thought you'd be with JC or something," he said.

I shook my head. "No! Friends, remember?"

"I know that's total bullshit, but alright, whatever you say," he replied.

"We are good friends, it's scaring me how we're clicking so well," I replied.

"I don't know why you'd think that. I'm the same sign he is and we've been best friends since 4th grade," he said.

"Donni, you're a basket case, no one else would want you but me anyway," I teased.

"I resent that, thank you. But, regardless I still believe JC might be the one for you. You guys are working on building a friendship and who knows what can come of that," he said.

"True. But it doesn't help that we have a strong physical attraction to each other. To me, it's weighing out everything else. That's why I wanted the sex to just happen," I said.

"Okay, so let's say the sex does happen but the lust between you both doesn't calm down.....then what?" he asked.

"Then I guess you, Evalyn, and Justin will get to bask in your sea of right," I responded.

"Oh that sounds marvelous, I like being right.  But, I know you Esamar and you've never been one to see things unreasonably," he said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Tell me why you're denying what's obvious. You always see what's irrational, but why is this thing between you and JC rational?" he asked me.

"Because I need to be able to think clearly. I've seen what the penalty can be for going with my feelings," I replied.

"You haven't experienced it though, so you can't continue to hide yourself because you fear what MIGHT happen. You're a fiercely strong person, but it's sweet how sensitive you really are. If me and J have the same taste, he'll definitely like that about you," he explained.

"I can't just lay it on the line, Donni. I've spent so much time building my walls, it's hard to just knock them down," I said.

"You said yourself that you trust him. You have to trust that he won't hurt you."

As always, I listened to the advice of my best friend and let his words pierce me. I excused myself and went into the bathroom to get ready for the day. I came out and sat on the couch next to Donni.

"I wanna hit up the mall, get something for tonight. I need some vagina," he said.

I pushed his shoulder as I rose from the couch. "Ewwww, I don't wanna hear all that."

"Who cares, go get ready so we can bounce," he said.

I rolled my eyes and hurried to my closet. I picked out something simple but cute to wear. Adonis was such a shopper; I'd go crazy when he used to come to the mall with me and my mom. We'd never leave!

Adonis really was my best friend, that's why I listened to him about JC. I understand everything he was telling me, but I did notice Josh's past relationships and he's been with a lot of women. I just wanted to know why those didn't work and why he and I would.

I grabbed my bag and followed behind Donni out the door. He decided to hit up the Beverly Center and as always, I cursed him for taking me there. He knows I can't always buy just one thing.

"So have you and JC already......ahem...?" he asked me.

"Ahem?.........oh, oh, OH! Oh no, we haven't. But there's a reason for that," I replied as we walked into H&M.

"Which is?"

"We're friends!" I responded.

Donni looked up from the clothes rack. "Bullshit," he said.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"It's obvious," he replied.

I rolled my eyes. Adonis knows something and he knows that I know he knows something.

"Be right back," he said. I nodded as he went to go to the dressing room.

I already decided what I wanted to wear for later on tonight, but that didn't stop me from picking up a few things that caught my eye.

"Psst!"

I looked up, confused. Was it me or did I just hear something? It was probably just me. I continued looking through the rack, searching for a cute tee.

"Psssst!"

I looked up. This time I turned around and somebody was behind me. I almost screamed. It was some guy in a hoodie with dark shades on, and a hat.

"Um, sir?" I asked.

"Esa, it's me, Justin," he whispered.

I tried to hold in my laughter. "Dude, are you nuts? Do you know what'll happen if people see you?"

"I know, I had to do a quick shop, but I recognized you and came over. What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I'm here with Adonis, just getting some stuff for tonight. Thanks for the VIP invite, by the way," I replied.

"No problem. Anyway, I gotta go, there's a girl over there staring too hard. Save me a dance?" he asked.

"No problem, now hurry up, before you get caught," I replied.

I watched as he went off. I really had the urge to scream 'Hey! It's Justin Timberlake!' but I wouldn't be able to post bail for inciting a riot. Donni finally came back and he shook his head when he saw the items I picked up.

"Come on, I found what I wanted, let's skidaddle," he said.

I chuckled softly as we made our way to the cashier. I was excited about tonight, but also a bit nervous. I wonder where JC wanted me to go with him.

-------------

I was running all over the place trying to get myself together.  I told my mom I was going out and that JC wanted to meet her. I was just as shocked as my mom.

"How old is he?" she asked.

"33, mom," I said.

"33?! Since when have you started dating older men!" she shouted.

"Maaaa! He's just a friend. Remember that group of white guys I used to have pictures of hanging in my room? You'd buy me their cd every Christmas?"

"Yeah, what about them?" she asked.

"He's one of them," I replied.

Her jaw dropped open. Eva and I tried not to giggle. She suddenly became more welcoming of him. My mom is a silly character. But I know that if she didn't like him, there was something I needed to watch out for.

I got into the shower, doing all the female primping I needed to do. I put on a black satin, spaghetti-strap bubble dress that stopped an inch or two above my knee. I wanted to keep with my theme, so I put on my satin textured ankle booties. I'm not too big on makeup, but I used some silver eye shadow lightly and dabbed on some lip gel. I had already straightened my hair the night before so I did a touch quick touch-up, gave myself some side bangs, and left the rest down.

I walked downstairs and all eyes were on me. Everyone seemed shocked by me, but I was more shocked that JC was already here. I wasn't expecting him so early. I walked over to him; he took my hand gently, greeting me.

"Hey, I wasn't expecting you so early," I whispered.

"I know, but I wanted to meet your mom in the right way," he said.

I chuckled. "What do you think?"

"She's sweet and funny, I love her accent, too," he replied.

"I'm glad you understood her. Wanna hang out here some more or.....?"

"What do you wanna do?" he asked.

"Let's goooo, I'm not up for embarrassing pictures and stories tonight," I replied.

He smiled and shook his head.

"Ma, we're leaving!" I called.

She came out and I watched how polite he was to her. I let him go out the

 door first so I could turn around for my mom's approval. She mouthed 'wow' and gave me two thumbs up. I laughed and closed the door behind me, locking up.

I walked to the car where he was waiting for me with the door open.

"Thank you, sir," I smiled.

"You're very welcome, madam," he responded.

I waited for him to get in the car and I gave him a small hug.

"God, you smell good and you look sexy. Don't know how I'm gonna keep my hands off of you," I complimented.

"Well thank you. I return that compliment to the 10th power because damn, you're looking good enough to eat, twice," he said.

I giggled like a school girl and swatted his compliment away. I know I'm blushing like crazy but I'm glad that it was dark so he wouldn't be able to see my face.

"Where are we gonna go?" I asked.

"I gotta go back to my place to take care of a few things then by 9 we'll be on our way," he replied.

I agreed and made small conversation with him to see what he's been up to for the past two days. It didn't take us anything but 15 minutes to get to his place. I ran to the living room and quickly took off my heels while he went upstairs to take care of his business. I threw back against the couch, inhaling the mixture of both our scents. I closed my eyes as I kept my head back against the couch, I could hear him come back downstairs, but I was to deep in the process of calming my nerves to lift my head.

I didn't hear anything else, so I figured he'd went to go finish whatever else he had to do. That is, until I felt something on my thigh. I tried not to panic and opened my eyes, slowly lifting my head. I looked down at my lap; JC was laying his head across my lap, with his legs crossed and kicked up on the couch's handle. I smiled.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Chillin' on your lap," he replied.

"You're lucky that I tolerate you," I joked.

He chuckled. "This really is comfortable, maybe we should just sleep instead of going to the club."

"JC, I put on a dress and heels, we are freakin' going out. Even though, I would love to have a sleep party," I teased.

"We still have an hour and honestly, I'm not ready to move yet," he said, looking up at me.

I smiled, running my fingers through his hair. "Well can you move so we can be more comfortable?"

He got up and I moved so I could put my head on the side and put my feet up. He kicked off his nice dress shoes and came to lay on my right, his head on my shoulder and arm across my waist. I put my right arm around him, continuing to run my fingers through his hair.

"Now, I'm comfortable," I whispered. He looked up at me, pulling my chin to give me a small kiss on the lips, going back to lay his head on me. I didn't know when, but feeling his body warmth and the caressing of his fingers against my stomach, put me right to sleep.

I felt something soft against my skin, I shifted slightly. Then I felt a light trail across my chest, it gave me chills.

"Mmm," I moaned a little, opening my eyes and JC was there smiling at me.

"I'm sorry, but you wouldn't wake up, I had to use......force," he said, giving me an innocent look.

"What kind of force was that, I kinda liked it," I laughed.

"I can't reveal that information, it's my secret," he smiled.

"Aw, you suck! I seriously didn't know I feel asleep, though," I said.

"Don't worry about it, I fell asleep, too. Go ahead and go freshen up, I'll be in the car waiting," he said.

I nodded and got up. I went to the bathroom, used a wisp, and fixed my hair and makeup. I went back to put on my booties, grabbed my clutch, and closed up the house. I quickly got in the car and we were on our way. He still didn't tell me where we were going, but the breeze coming in from outside suddenly became cooler.

"You're taking me near the ocean?" I asked.

"What makes you think that?"

"No one loves a coastal breeze more than I do," I replied.

He smiled. "In that case, yes I am. I'm good at guessing, huh?"

"Yeah you are, I'm not big on swimming, but being by the ocean is probably a sure way to take me home," I flirted.

"Oh really? Hmm, I can't wait," he responded.

I sat across from him, the smell of the Pacific Ocean mixed in with the smell of the food as the wind blew. I smiled at his short hair whipping in the wind. He'd taken me to The Waterfront in Marina Del Rey; it was dinner on a yacht, very romantic. Our orders were already taken and we were just waiting for our drinks.

"You tricked me, I didn't think we'd be going on a date since you didn't call," I said.

"It wasn't a trick; I was trying to surprise you. I obviously suck at it," he replied, smiling.

"No, no you don't. This was very sweet of you, thank you," I said.

"You're welcome," he said as the waiter placed two glasses of water on the table.

We continued to talk and engage in conversation with one another. As I got to know more about him, I realized just how different we are, but how much in common we had as well. After we had dinner, we shared dessert and we fed each other. It was very romantic, nothing I'd ever done before.

When we got back to the dock, he drove us to the nearest beach. He led us to the sand, walking the beach, holding hands.

"Why were you so pissed at me when you saw me last Saturday? I mean I get it, but I don't get it?" he asked.

"I....well, I don't know how to explain it, really," I replied.

"Can you try?"

"I felt like you never spoke to me again because I didn't sleep with you. That may not have been your intention, but that's how I took it. It was like you realized you could do much better and it angered me because I was put in such a position so easily," I replied.

"I'm sorry; I didn't realize how you would've taken it. I never meant to let you think something like that. I didn't think our dance was that intense for the cameras to get so interested, but it was. I don't wanna do that to you again," he explained.

I stopped to stand in front of him, holding both of his hands in mine. I looked into his eyes.

"You're forgiven and I'm sorry for the way I reacted. I missed you so much and I was confused," I said.

"You missed me that much.......as only a friend?" he asked.

"What else was I supposed to miss you as?" I couldn't look into his eyes but I knew his stare was fixed on me, I felt it.

"As....someone you want to be with," he replied.

"You said that confidently. I "want" to be with...," I quoted.

"That's because I've never been so sure about a relationship," he said.

I felt nervous and I just couldn't look at him. I didn't want him to be right and if he saw my eyes, he'd be right.

"What are you saying?" I asked.

"I'm saying that I wanna be with you. I know we said just roll with the punches, but this punch feels right," he replied.

The pit of my stomach dropped; it was full of air......butterflies, fluttering like crazy. Was this real? JC Chasez telling me, some kid, that he wanted to be with me? Is this even virtually possible? What did two years do to make him come back to..........me? I wasn't sure what to say, I had nothing to say.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

It's safe to say that my eyes were wide and I wasn't blinking. "Huh? Yeah, yeah I'm fine. I'm just shocked," I replied.

"I'm shocked that I just told you that," he said. He was looking around as if someone else said it. I giggled quietly.

"We have enough time to make sure, come on, it's starting to get cold," I said as I began to pull him in the opposite direction.

"Yeah, we should get going, don't wanna be late for VIP and free drinks," he said. I shook my head as we made our way back to the car.

Once inside the car, on our way to the club, I remade my face, fixed my hair up a little, and put my booties back on. I'm always thinking, brain is always on the go, but at this moment, my mind was on one thing and one thing only, JC. I'm still in disbelief. It's hard to grasp him saying to me, 'I want to be with you'. I don't hear that from a 9-5 guy, so to hear it from JC was just......weirdly amazing.

Being me, I was curious to know why. Why did he want to be with me? Why me, in general. I can't see the attraction, I'm probably being too modest, but it does make me wonder. It's not my place, but what do I have that his previous girlfriends didn't? I wanted to ask, by God I wanted to, but finding out in due time was the only way to understand.

I shook the thoughts out of my head as the car came to a complete stop. I took one last look in the mirror and grabbed my clutch. The door opened and JC stood with his hand held out. He helped me out of his car and bravely looped my arm through his as we walked into the entrance.

Cameras flashed, I felt extremely nervous......and blind. I'm glad I just made it through and didn't fall flat on my face. I'm not as poised as I'd like to portray. I saw JC throw his free hand in the air to wave at someone near the top of the club. My guess was Justin since we began to walk in that direction.

Once we made it to the top, I saw my friends with Justin among some other people that I'm sure I'd know in a little bit. The VIP area was larger than I thought. There was enough room to dance and plenty of waiters with drinks handy.

"Justin, this is awesome," I said.

"What?!" The music was blasting and he obviously didn't hear me.

"I said this is awesome!" I repeated.

"Thanks, I workout!" he said. I laughed and he nudged me, letting me know he was kidding. I made small talk then went to go sit next to my buddies.

"Where were you guys?" Eva asked with her eyebrows were raised.

"You're sick, but if you must know, he took me to dinner," I replied.

"Like.....a date? He took you on a date?"

I nodded, smiling widely. We high fived each other and giggled stupidly. She was excited for me and regardless of my over-analysis of things, I was just as excited.

"Look at all those women over by JC. They are practically handing him their vaginas and he's not grasping. Now do you believe what we've all been trying to tell you? He's so sweet on you, he doesn't even notice it," she told me.

"He told me he wanted to be with me," I quickly said.

Her eyes got wide and she gently shoved me. "Shut up! What did you say?"

"I was shocked, lost for words. I dodged it though," I replied.

"What? Why? Why would you do that?" she asked.

"I didn't want to rush an answer, it might've seemed too easy," I replied.

"It IS easy! You like him, he likes you, get together and do the damn thing," she said.

I smiled, rolling my eyes. "Evalyn it's not simple. I need to be ready for the kind of relationship I'd be getting into with him. Even he knows that he needs to be ready."

"Oh what the deuce? You're closer to Mr. Right than you have ever been. Please let your brain take a backseat this time and just use your heart to guide you," she said.

"Oh God," I sighed. I didn't feel like hearing another one of her 'You need love' speeches.

"Hey, some fine ass girl over there is making eyes at JC, y'all wanna go tag team and I take bets?" Donni said as he walked over to me and Evalyn.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "I don't even want to BEGIN to tell you everything that was wrong with that statement, but let her make eyes all she wants."

"What?!" they said in unison.

"Joshua isn't my boyfriend, he's a single man and he's free to do what he pleases and so am I," I said.

Donni's facial expression said it all. He was baffled by what I said. He had a love-hate relationship for my independent streak and this was, undoubtedly a hate look. He tried to talk and he just ended up walking away.

"What!" I called after him. He swatted his hand and kept walking. "Ughhhhh! He's such a twit sometimes."

"Ouch, pretty harsh." I heard behind me. I spun around and JC was there with a drink in his hand.

"You didn't hear anything," I teased.

"Hey, I'm not messin' with that, but I did see you say it," he joked. I laughed and shook my head.

Hello Good Morning by Dirty Money began to blast out of the speakers all around the club and I felt a jolt in my heart. I grabbed JC's hand and walked us downstairs to the main dance floor.

"I'm guessing you like this song," JC said as he pulled my hips closer to him. I danced like I did when I was home, when I knew no one was watching me.

This felt just like the first time we danced, except now, I knew what he liked and he knew what I liked. His hands crept up the front of my thighs, grasping onto my hips. He pulled his chest away from my back, rolling his body against mine; he was being naughty and I loved it. Soon enough our dancing turned into something more sexual and intimate. He was caressing my body in innocent areas, making me feel warm all over. I let my hip movement tease and tame his slender frame and each time I did something he liked he'd unknowingly squeeze my hips, pulling me closer and slowing down my pace.

Once the song ended, I had the back of my head against his chest, looking up at him and he was staring down at me. I wanted to kiss him, badly, but I was sure that the attention was already on us. I just let him lead us back upstairs. All eyes were on me when JC went to go bring back some bottled water.

"Free man, my ass," Donni said.

"Piss off, Adonis," I shot. Both he and Eva laughed amongst themselves.

I felt a small tap on my shoulder. I smiled as JC handed me my water. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He put his arm around my shoulder and leaned in closer to me. "Why is it I need a cold shower after we dance?"

"Hehehehe," I giggled on response.

"Seriously though, it was sexy.....really sexy," he whispered. I shivered, biting down on my bottom lip.

He stood up and touched my chin. "I'll be back."

I nodded, watching him walk away. I loved this whole VIP thing, it was crazy nice. I usually just came to the club and enjoyed myself, but this was something I could get used to. And that's mostly because I hated paying for a non-alcoholic beverage. The rest of the night only got better. JC and I danced some more and even had a really good conversation with the music blasting.

JC and I were sort of just posted at the car. He was drinking and he didn't wanna take any risks, so he let me drive his car. I wasn't planning on staying the night at his place, but I was so tired and I didn't wanna make him drive me home.

Both of us took our slow time getting out of the car and going inside. Luckily, we made it up the stairs to his room before we both rested wherever it was comfortable.

"Okay, you're home safely, I'll be in the other room," I said.

"Thanks for driving me......but I don't want you to go in the other room.....stay with me," he said.

I nodded and kicked off my shoes before hopping on his bed. JC wasn't drunk or barely tipsy because if he was, there was no way I'd even stay on the same floor with him.

"Thank you for.......an awesome beyond great night," I said, turning onto my side to face him

He turned his head and stared at me, a small smile on his face. "Oh, no problem. I'm glad you had a good time, because I sure did."

"Sweet..............um, about earlier....what you said..."

"Don't worry about it, we don't have to touch the subject," he said.

"No it's fine, really. I just wanted to know if you meant it."

"What? Of course I did, why wouldn't I?" he asked.

"JC come on, you have to understand where I'm coming from here. Number one, you're JC Chasez, you're really hot, and we haven't talked for two years, so we barely know each other," I replied.

"You mention that a lot and it really worries me. Yeah, I am JC Chasez, an entertainer, but I'm also JC Chasez, a person. You seem to relate me to an entertainer and treat me like a person. You can't get around the fact that I'm a "celebrity". I know I was gone, but you know why I did what I did," he told me.

"No, JC.....I didn't mean it like that. I was referring to the life you live. Girls throw themselves at you, people follow you. It's hard for me to believe that you'd risk more of that just for silly old me," I explained.

"None of that bothers me and it shouldn't bother you. You can't protect me from what's been going on for more than 10 years. It is sweet, though," he said as he touched the side of my face. I held his hand. "And I'm aware that we barely know each other, but it's what makes this all the more interesting than scary. I like you for all the right reasons, and I have to find out what can come from it all."

I took his hand, gently pulling him closer to me. I ran my fingers through his hair, the light showing peaks of the original brown color his hair was.

"Hey, your brown hair is coming back," I said.

He smiled. "You amaze me with the things you notice that I barely pay attention to."

"I'm very observant," I chuckled.

"You are...."

He pulled my chin and kissed me. I bit my lip as we pulled away. The fire was aflame and it wasn't as easy to calm this time. I pulled his lips back to mine, kissing him deeper, running my hands down the front of his dress shirt, undoing buttons as my fingers trailed. He grabbed onto my wrists as I moved to pull the opened shirt down his shoulders.

"Esa.......are you sure?" he whispered.

I stared into his eyes, continuing to pull down the shirt. I put my hands under his beater to lift over his head, throwing it on the floor once I got it off. I came closer, softly grazing my lips across his shoulder, kissing up to his neck with ease. I felt his fingers fiddle with the strap of my bubble dress. I continued to touch his skin with my lips; the zipper on my dress was down, my arms slipping out the loops of my dress.

I let him lay me back on his bed. He gently pulled down the rest of my dress, dropping it to the floor. He saw that I didn't wear a bra, and slowly scanned my upper body. JC let his hands go crazy caressing my breasts, his fingers playing with my nipples gently. He couldn't see, but I saw the hunger in his eyes, it was extreme......almost to the point of fearless. I have awakened the lion.

His lips skimmed across my neck, beginning a trail that led to my chest. He ran his tongue around one of my breasts; I felt a shock from my head to my toes. The ease he took in evoking a deep lust inside me, made me doubt everything I was thinking about him and I. What turned me on most was how gentle JC was being. It was like the last time, his touch was like magic, I felt comfortable.

His eyes met mine, while I let my fingers tip-toe around his abdomen. His head began to lower as he kissed my skin. I was lost until I felt his lips against my lower stomach; his hands ran down my thighs, lifting my legs into an arch position on the bed. He widened my legs, and kissed the damp spot between my legs before removing my underwear. I started to sit up when he pulled my thighs, making me slam my head back into his soft pillows. I shivered at the touch of his fingertips lightly grazing up one of my thighs. Once I felt his lips touch the outer skin between my legs, a deep chill rose from the tip of my toes, up my spine, and surrounding my entire skull.

I was nervous, but it soon went away as I began to feel his tongue exploring me. My eyes automatically closed as pleasure overtook my body. I looked down at him, getting turned on watching him grab onto my thighs and go to work. I ran my fingers through his hair, unable to control the sounds coming out of my mouth. I closed my eyes again, feeling his hands go up my stomach and grab onto my breasts. He rubbed them softly while his tongue ventured further into my insides.

I placed my hands on top of his, wanting to help him massage my breasts. The pace he was trying to keep went out the window as I begged and pleaded for him to go faster because I felt my peak coming near. The rise in my moans turned him on, his mouth went wild. My back began to arch and I sat up on my elbows, pushing my hips to his motion. I swiped my hair out of my face, my voice getting louder as I came closer to the edge. He did a quick shake with his tongue and I screamed out, falling back flat on the bed trying to catch my breath. He tasted me while I calmed down.

"I hope you're not tired, I'm just getting started mama," he whispered into my ear as he hovered above me.

I pulled him down on top of me, keeping his lips between my teeth. I forced my hands down between our bodies so I could undo the button of his jeans. He felt what I was trying to do so he got up.

"Take them off," I said.

JC winked at me when I sat up. I watched him pull down his jeans and kick them to the side. Then he slowly pulled off his boxers, revealing his entire body. I felt my blood rushing everywhere. I got up so fast and pulled him, we literally fell onto the bed. We laughed and kissed, situating his body on top of me before fixing his stare on my eyes.

He slowly inserted himself inside of me and a squeal came out of my mouth that I wasn't expecting. He got up on both arms and pushed further in before finally pulling back. A soft groan came from his mouth, I felt myself get even more turned on and he cursed softly, letting me know he could feel it. I just bit my lip, continuing to push my fingers through his hair.

I pulled him closer to me, my fingers running up and down his bare back as we roughly kissed, he bit on my tongue softly. I remembered how liked it when we held a gaze, so I kept his ferocious stare into my eyes, moaning as he dug deeper inside me. He took one more kiss from me before coming up. His hands grabbed onto my thighs, pulling me closer. He took me by my hips and began to push and pull my body, focusing on his task at hand: making me scream his name.

I loved hearing the sounds of love making. Even more so, I loved hearing the moans and groans JC made, it drove me wild. I wanted him more. I hissed for him to, "go faster, Daddy" and his fingers dug into my waist, our skin clapping against one another's. Each time I uttered the word 'daddy', I felt him enlarge inside of me. His pace sped up, both of our voices rising. I began to tingle strongly between my thighs, I held myself up on my hands wanting to make him feel as good as he was making me feel.

He repeatedly called me mami, talked dirty to me, let his hands roam my body, everything to make me reach my end. I was glad he lived in a house because I was loud, he wanted to hear me. I felt my muscles tighten up, my body was going rigid, and JC was ramming himself into me. A few deep, hard strokes and that was all it took to have me scream out in release. The skin on my neck was held between his teeth tightly as he hit his point, breathing heavily into my ear.

He gently lied on top of me. I wiped the beads of sweat off of his forehead; we kissed slowly, passionately. His fingers touched my damp hair and I pulled back the hair stuck to the top of his head.

"Esa," he whispered.

"Hmm?"

"I'm not done....," he whispered into my ear.

We both laughed and kissed again. He was serious though; he flipped me over on my stomach and wore me out. My voice was hoarse and my hair was soaked. We didn't stay on the bed the whole time, of course. JC didn't play when he made love to me in 100 ways.

I didn't want to wake up. I despise getting up from a good night's rest and that's ever so rare in my case. But the kisses I felt on my neck were enough to do the trick. I opened my eyes and I was wrapped up in JC's arms, spooning again.

"Morning," he said into my ears.

I looked at the clock; it was 1:35 pm. "Afternoon."

We'd just finished making love at around 5 in the morning. He took me on his ride for four hours, nonstop. Our bodies were sore, my voice still sounded like a train-wreck.

"Any thoughts about last night?" I asked him.

"Amazing.......soooo amazing. How was it for you?" he responded.

"Let's just say, I'm 10 pounds lighter and I love it," I said.

"Now we can have an after-party," he said as he got up and walked toward his bathroom.

"Josh, I can barely stand right now. My........my Virginia needs time to recuperate," I said.

He laughed and came over to where I was. He threw the covers back and lifted me into his arms.

"Josh! I'm naked!"

"Esa! I know!" he laughed.

He put me down when we got to the bathroom and turned on the shower. He looked at me, smiling.

"After you, honey," he said.

I shook my head and stepped into his luxurious shower. He had two large shower heads and the warm water touched my skin, it felt so soft and strong. I felt extra heat behind me, so I knew it was JC that stepped in. I put my head under the water to wet my hair and I felt him pulling me back against his chest.

"I like seeing your body wet," he whispered.

His hands rubbed down my body, revving my engine. Needless to say, my virginia didn't get the recuperation it needed.

"JC.......you're a beast. I think a few more times and I won't even have to work out this summer," I joked.

"As surprised as you are, I'm just as surprised. I didn't think I'd go for that long, nonstop with the week I've been having. I guess I wanted you that bad," he said.

"I'm happy that you did. You made one of my fantasies come to life......and then some," I said.

"I wanna make them all come to life," he smiled.

"I'm with you, so you already have."

"Awwwwww! Totally milked it, but I still appreciate it," he teased.

I laughed and shook my head. I stared down at the floor, having a mental debate.

"C.....where do we go from here?" I asked.

"I've already mentioned where my head was at.......what do you want, Esa?"

"I.....I don't know," I replied.

"What do you mean? We just had a great romantic night, gave ourselves to one another. What don't you know?" he asked.

"I should go," I said as I backed away toward the door, grabbing my bag.

"Bye Esamar."

He didn't even look at me. I ran all the way outside before I realized, I didn't have my car. I checked the time and ran to the nearest bus stop.

I wasn't trying to hurt JC, but this was freaking me out. The idea.....the thought....the mere mention of love made me feel like I just saw a ghost. Everything that was happening, that had happened in the past week was too much for me. I realized it the second he asked me what I wanted.

I don't take back anything that just occurred between us at all. I loved him holding me. I loved him making love to me. I loved him wanting to be with me. But most of all, I loved him. I love Joshua Chasez.......and I can never see him again.

Fin.