I resisted the urge to look at the clock on the wall again. I knew that I couldn’t make it move faster no matter how much I wanted it to. I watched JC out of the corner of my eye. He looked relatively calm. The slight but constant bounce of his knee let me know that I wasn’t the only one that was nervous.

There was a time when I would have reached for his hand. I would have looked at the contrast of his hand in my chocolate one and known that no matter how different we were, we were in this together. That, however, was no longer the case.

Amazing how the place we’d sought out in hopes of repairing our marriage seemed to magnify the divide between us.

Both of us turned towards the door when it opened and a blonde woman in a suit stepped out, “Mr. and Mrs. Chasez, I’m ready to see you now.”

We both stood and entered her office. There were two burgundy chairs sitting side-by-side with another chair across from it. I sat down and JC took the chair beside me. I watched the therapist sit across from us with a pen and notepad in hand.

“Good morning, Mr. and Mrs. Chasez.” She greeted.

JC gave her a small smile, “Please, call me JC.”

“Call me Nikki.” I added.

She nodded her head, “Okay. JC. Nikki. This first session is just about getting some background information. In addition to these joint sessions, I would also recommend that you two come see me separately. This is so that you each can feel free to openly express your feelings without having the fear of making your partner angry or hurting their feelings. I strongly suggest that you two agree that whatever is talked about in your individual sessions is off limits for discussion outside of the office. Would you two be okay with that?”

We both nodded our heads. I don’t know about him, but I was feeling very overwhelmed.

“Alright.” Dr. Mariah Cavanaugh clicked the top of the pen she held in her hand, “Now, I’m just going to ask a few simple questions. How long have you two been together?”

JC and I looked at one another. I nodded my head to signal to him that he should answer, “Three and a half years. We dated for two and have been married for about a year and a half.”

Dr. Cavanaugh wrote this information down, “What are both of you hoping to get out of these counseling sessions?”

Since JC had answered the previous question, I decided to go first, “I just…I don’t really know where it all went wrong. I’m hoping that maybe we can figure out how we got to this point, how to get back to where we were, and how to never wind up here again. I love him and lately, it just seems like that’s not enough anymore and I don’t know why.”

“JC?” She asked after taking a few minutes to make note of what I’d said. 

“On our wedding day, I made a vow to try my hardest to make sure that the good moments always outweighed the bad ones.” JC gave a deep sigh as he scratched the back of his neck, “I’m here because that hasn’t been the case for awhile now. I want to find out if there’s something we can do to fix that or if I need to let her go so she can find someone that is capable of doing that for her.”

I blinked rapidly in an effort to hold back the tears that were threatening to escape my eyes. For months now, I had been feeling like I was the only one that cared. His statements gave me hope that maybe just maybe we would be able to work through our problems and come out stronger and more in love than ever before.

“Would one of you like to tell me the story of how you two met?” Dr. Cavanaugh inquired. My husband and I looked at each other. Both of us broke out in smiles at the memory. The therapist eyed both of us before speaking again, “I take it that this is a fond memory for both of you?”

JC chuckled as he answered, “Definitely.” He turned to me, “Do you want to tell it or should I?”

“I’ll do it.” I volunteered before I began the story, “It happened one fateful morning at Starbucks…”

When my dad pulled some strings to get me an internship with one of Los Angeles up-and-coming photographers, Michael Donovan, I hadn’t realized that I was going to be nothing more than a glorified gopher. The only thing keeping me from quitting was the knowledge that it was going to look incredibly good on my résumé.

My cell phone rang as I entered Starbucks for the third time that day. My eyes rolled at the fact that it was probably Michael wanting to add something to his already ridiculously long order. I’m seriously beginning to think my boss has an addiction to this stuff. I dug through my purse for my phone as I headed in the direction of the counter.

One minute, I’m digging through my purse. The next, I’m staring into the blue eyes a man. A man whose coffee I just managed to spill on his white shirt and on the floor.

This day just keeps getting better.

“I am so so sorry!” I exclaim as I grabbed napkins off the station by the door that also holds straws and coffee cup sleeves. I held out the napkins to him as I continued, “I am such a klutz. It’s entirely my fault. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going and I should have been. The coffee wasn’t that hot, was it? Oh man, do we need to take you to the hospital to make sure you don’t have any second or third degree burns? I am so sorry!”

I watched his gaze go from slightly annoyed to incredibly amused as I rambled, “Apology accepted.” He took the napkins from me, “There’s no need for a hospital visit. I got my coffee about a half hour ago so it was lukewarm at best.”

“You ordered a half hour ago and it’s still full?” I asked before I realized that it probably wasn’t a good idea to antagonize the man whose drink I had just doused him with, “I’m sorry. That was rude. I have this habit of thinking before I speak. It’s a real problem.”

“Don’t worry about it. It was actually half empty.” He said with a laugh and shook his head, “Or half full, but I guess that really just depends on your outlook on life.”

I grinned, “I’m Nikki, by the way.”

“JC.”

“Would it freak you out if I told you that I already knew that?” I asked.

“That depends.” He answered.

“On what?”

“On whether or not you’re going to start crying or screaming.” He quipped.

Before I could reply, my phone started ringing again, “I should really get this. It’s probably my boss. Again, I’m really really sorry.”

“It’s just a t-shirt.” JC shrugged, “Plus, most of it ended up on the floor instead of on me.”

I pulled my phone out of my purse and answered as JC walked around me to exit and some barista appeared with a mop.

“How long does it take to get coffee?” Michael demanded as soon as I answered the phone.

“I’m sorry, Michael. I got held up, but I’m stepping up to the counter right now to order your Grande extra hot soy with extra foam, split shot with a half squirt of sugar-free vanilla and a half squirt of sugar-free cinnamon with a half packet of splenda.” I resisted the urge to sigh once I finished sprouting out his ridiculous order.

“Well, even though you’re taking too long, it’s for the best that you haven’t ordered yet because I have something to add.”

This time, I couldn’t hold my sigh in, “What else do you want me to tell them?”

“Have them put the order in a Venti cup, but make sure that the actual liquid is a Grande. Then have them fill up the extra space with whipped cream with caramel and chocolate sauce drizzled on top.”

“Okay. Got it.” I told him before hanging up. I stepped up to the counter and a smiling barista asked me if she could take my order. I knew that as soon as I opened my mouth, that smile was going to disappear. At least she only had to make his coffee. I had to actually work for him.

JC’s laughter interrupted my story and I couldn’t help but join him, “Michael was certifiably nuts, but he was a genius behind a camera so people put up with him.”

Dr. Cavanaugh nodded, “If you left the coffee shop without exchanging information, than how’d you two end up together?”

“There’s definitely more to the story.” JC shook his head, “It gets better and she embarrasses herself even more.”

“He’s never lets me live this down.” I said with a groan.

“Why don’t you finish telling me the story, JC.” Dr. Cavanaugh requested.

He smiled, “Gladly.”

“Why don’t you finish telling me the story, JC.” Dr. Cavanaugh requested.

I smiled, “Gladly.”

I walked into the studio and was immediately greeted by the photographer, “Hello, Mr. Chasez, I’m Michael Donovan. It’s nice to meet you.” I shook his hand as he motioned for a young woman to join us, “This is Angie. She’s going to be handling wardrobe so if you’ll go with her, we’ll get this show on the road.”

“Please, call me JC.” I told him before I followed the short red-head to room at the back of the studio. She motioned for me to sit in a chair in front of a mirror.

“Anthony will be in here soon to do your makeup.” She informed me as she walked over to a rack of clothing, “Have you ever worked with Michael before?”

I shook my head and then realized she couldn’t see me with her back turned to me, “No, this is my first time.”

“Just a heads up, he’s a little over the top.” Angie pulled a black jacket off the rack and turned towards me, “But he’s really good at what he does.”

She set the jacket on an abandoned chair and continued filing through the different racks of clothing. The door opened and a tall male dressed in a blue button down shirt and black slacks entered the room.

“I’m Anthony.” He introduced himself as he opened one of the makeup cases sitting on the table in front of me, “I’m just going to apply a bit of foundation so the flash doesn’t wash you out, but I’m sure you’re used to all of this by now.”

“That I am.”

“I’m glad.” He replied as he picked up a sponge, “You wouldn’t believe some of the stubborn males I’ve worked with who seem offended at the notion that they’re going to have to wear makeup. Sometimes I have the urge to just send them out there and let them end up with horrible photos.”

“And then you’d have hell to pay with your boyfriend out there for ruining his shoot.” Angie joked.

“All I can say is thank God for interns. At least when he has one, he’s not as bitchy to the rest of us.”

When Anthony was finished, Angie handed me the outfit that she’d put together. She informed me that the intern would come get me when Michael was ready for me. The pair left the room so I could change. She had picked out a white t-shirt, a black motorcycle jacket, and straight-leg dark blue jeans.

It was a few mintues after I finished dressing before there was a knock on the door, “Come in.”

A woman entered, but I could only see the top of her head because she was looking down at a clipboard in her hands, “He’s ready for you. If you’ll ju-“

I interrupted because I recognize her voice, “Nikki?”

“JC?”  Her head snapped up, “Hey. I had no idea you were scheduled for a shoot today.”

“Well, I had no clue that you were his intern so that makes us even.”

She smiled and leaned against the doorframe, “I don’t think the boss is going to be sending me on any more coffee runs today so you and your clothing should be safe from my klutziness.”

I smiled back, “Good to know.”

She opened her mouth to say something else, but was stopped by a voice bellowing, “Nicolette!”

“I better get you out there before he pops a blood vessel.” Nikki said with a sigh.

“Okay, Nicolette.” I tried and failed to suppress my grin.

“You’re not going to let that go, are you?” She asked and when I shook my head, she finished, “Fine, but I reserve the right to not answer you.”

We started walking towards backdrop and I inquired, “How come you don’t like it?”

“It’s too proper.” She grinned mischievously, “I am not a proper girl.”

“Really now?”

As she was about to respond, we were interrupted by the presence of her boss. He dictates to  Nikki that he needs her to give him a reading and that the flash meter is by his laptop. As he began to instruct me on how he wanted me to stand, she walked over to a table that has equipment and a laptop sitting on it.

Upon her return, she holds what I assume is the flash meter in front of my face, “Just to forewarn you, when I hit this button, the flash is going to go off like I’m taking your picture.”

I nod in understanding and she hits the button. She walks back towards Michael, but before she can get there, she trips on a cord and falls to the floor. I start to go over to help her, but Michael gets there first.

Michael took the meter from her and looked it over before announcing, “It’s okay, everyone. The meter isn’t broken.” I try not to laugh at the glare that she sent him from the floor as Angie stepped around Michael and helped her off of the floor. She started to walk towards the table with the equipment when her boss turns to her, “Oh, Nicolette, are you okay?”

She stared at him for a few seconds before plastering an obviously fake smile on her face, “Stellar, Michael. I am absolutely stellar.”

He either didn’t notice the sarcasm in her voice or he just chooses to ignore it. If I had to wager, I’d put my money on the former and not the latter. “Alright, JC, let’s get started.”

I can’t control my laughter and have to take a break from telling the story.

Nikki glowers at me, “It really wasn’t that funny.”

“Yes, it was.” I interjected, “I can’t adequately describe the look on her face when Michael took the meter out of her hand. If looks could kill, he would have dropped dead on the spot.” I look over at my wife and I can tell that she’s trying really hard not to crack a smile, “I’m sorry, Dr. Cavanaugh. I should be able to finish the story without any more fits of laughter.”

She nods and I continue.

After several wardrobe changes and no other meter incidents, I’m finally done for the day. As I walk out of the dressing room, I see Nikki seated in front of Michael’s laptop. I make my way over to her.

“For what it’s worth, I was more worried about you than the meter.” I teased.

She looked up at me, “Thanks. I really appreciate that.”

She pulls out the chair that’s next to her before asking, “Do you want to see some of the pictures he took? They’re not edited yet, but you’ll have a good idea of what they’re going to look like.”

“Sure.” I answered before sitting down beside her, “Where’s your boss?”

“In his office. I’m sure Anthony is giving him a lecture about being more concerned for the equipment instead of his intern. I honestly have no clue why they’re together. Ant is so normal and Michael is so…not normal. ” Nikki shrugged, “I have to wait for all of the photos to upload from the memory card to the computer and then take them to him.”

“So is this what you want to do with your life?”

“If by this, you mean doing Starbucks runs, manning the light meter, and pretty much everything else Michael doesn’t want to do, than the answer is no.” She clicked on an image on the computer, “If by this, you mean taking pictures of people, than the answer is yes.”

“Are you any good?”

“I’d like to think so. I mean, I’m no Michael Donovan.” I laugh and she shakes her head, “I’m not joking. His elevator might not go all the way to the top, but when it comes to a camera and capturing a subject, he’s like a demigod. If I end up even as half as good as he is, I’ll have an amazing career.”

I blinked in surprise, “You really admire him, don’t you?”

“Surprisingly, yes.” She ran a hand through her shoulder length black hair, “I know he’s definitely an acquired taste, but I’m really lucky to have this internship. He’s still making a name for himself in the industry which gives me a realistic look at what I’m going to have to go through to be successful. A lot of established photographers have on rose-colored glasses when it comes to the things they went through to make their mark on the industry. They tend to forget how hard it was because they’re already where they want to be. Michael’s still paying his dues, so to speak.”

“He’s lucky to have an intern who appreciates the opportunity so much.”

Her eyes flicked towards me then back to the computer screen, “Thanks.”

“Is that a blush I see?” I tease and that causes her blush to deepen.

“Pictures.” She points a finger to the screen, “You sat down to see your pictures.”

We spend the next fifteen minutes going through a few of the pictures from the shoot before my phone rings. I look down to see that Justin is calling me, “Damn.”

Nikki gives me a confused look, “What?”

“I was supposed to be meeting a friend for dinner and I am officially late.” I explain as I start to stand, “I’m sorry to rush out. Thanks for taking the time out to show me those pictures.”

“No problem. I enjoyed it.” The young woman stood as well, “Most of the celebrities I’ve worked with seemed like they didn’t even want to be here in the first place. It was refreshing to have something different.”

I stared to turn and walk away, but stopped, “Hey. Would you like to join me for dinner? I know my friend wouldn’t mind.”

“I’d love to,” She began before giving me a look of regret, “but I can’t. I have to take your pictures to Michael and then pack up all the equipment. I’ll be here for at least another hour.”

“Well, it was nice seeing you again.”

Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, she replied, “You too.”

I headed towards the door. Just as I was about to open it, her voice stopped me, “How about I give you my number and we can take a rain check on that dinner?”

Nikki bit her lip as she shook her head and told Dr. Cavanaugh, “It was the first time I ever offered to give my number to a guy.”

“Why do you think that is?” Dr. Cavanaugh probed.

“I don’t really know. There was just something about him that made me feel comfortable. He was incredibly easy to talk to and that’s not something you find very often out here in LA.”

Our eyes met and I saw in them a hint of the twinkle that I haven’t seen in a really long time. For the first time since my wife had mentioned marriage counseling, I was beginning to think that maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea.

The blonde woman wrote something down on her notepad before speaking, “You two exchanged phone numbers. Did you then start dating?”

Nikki spoke up, “No. We became really close friends really fast, but both of us realized that we had a special friendship and we didn’t want to ruin that.”

“That didn’t stop both of us from being incredibly attracted to each other or developing romantic feelings for one another.” I added, “We just had an unspoken agreement that we weren’t going to address the elephant in the room.”

“However, a little bit of alcohol and a really stupid drinking game completely destroyed that agreement one night.” Nikki explained, “I’m assuming that you want to hear this story too, right?”

“I do.” Dr. Cavanaugh confirmed.

I resisted the urge to cringe. This story wasn’t one of my favorites. I know that Nikki didn’t have a problem with it. She just viewed it as a part of our past and how we ended up together, but I absolutely hated telling it or having it told. It was quite possibly one of the few things I wish that I could go back and change over the last four years of our lives together.

I was surprised when Nikki reached out and grabbed my hand. I gave it a small squeeze and she rewarded me with a smile, “I’ll be telling this one. It’s not exactly one of Josh’s favorite anecdotes.”

“I’ll be telling this one. It’s not exactly one of Josh’s favorite anecdotes.” I informed Dr. Cavanaugh.

I’d had a particularly stressful day dealing with Michael’s eccentric behavior and JC’s solution had been to break out alcohol. We weren’t drunk, but we definitely weren’t sober. It had also been his bright idea to play a game of truth. If you refused to answer the question, than you had to take a shot of tequila. So far, neither one of us had taken a shot and I was getting annoyed. I was seriously contemplating refusing to answer the question just so I could take a shot.

“This is ridiculous. We’re never going to crack open the tequila because you and I have no shame.” I complain.

“Sounds like you’re refusing to answer the question, Davenport.” He taunted as he waved my shot glass in front of my face.

I slapped his hand away, “Back of the band bus during my senior year. It was a two hour bus ride home and everyone else was asleep.”

The look of shock on his face caused me to start giggling, “Why little Miss Nicolette, I never would have guessed that you were such a freak!”

“Shut up!” I exclaimed as I stuck my tongue out at him. I began trying to think of a question that he wouldn’t answer. I really wanted to start drinking again, but I wanted him to be the first to refuse to answer a question. I leaned back in my chair and stared at him. It was almost twelve in the morning and we were sitting in his backyard. I stared at him, taking in the black t-shirt and red basketball shorts he was wearing.

“Stop ogling me and ask a question,” he teased.

“Like I said earlier, you and I have no shame. It’s hard to think of something that you wouldn’t answer.” I explain.

He let a few seconds pass before he started humming the Jeopardy countdown song. I grabbed an ice cube from the glass that I had been drinking my rum and coke out of and threw it at him.

“Brat!” I shouted before I started laughing, “Okay, Alex Trebek, I’ve finally got a question.”

“Finally.”

I make sure he’s looking me dead in the eye before I ask, “Have you ever thought about sleeping with me?”

“All the time.” He answers without missing a beat.

I blink in surprise, “Huh?”

“You heard me. I think about it all the time.” He replies and I feel my mouth get dry.

“You...you weren’t supposed to answer that.” I stutter.

He shrugs and leans back in his chair, “You shouldn’t ask a question if you don’t want to know the answer.”

“You’re unbelievable.” I muttered as I opened the bottle of tequila and poured myself a shot.

He watched me down it, but grabbed the bottle from my hand before I could pour another one, “I don’t know what you’re freaking out about. I’m attracted to you. You’re attracted to me. It’s not like this is a new discovery. Calm down.”

“No, I will not calm down, Joshua! We don’t talk about us being…well…yeah. We don’t talk about it because we’re friends. Just friends.” I ranted.

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have asked the damn question, Nicolette. You’re the one that brought it up.” JC glared at me, “And for the record, we don’t talk about it because you want it that way.”

 “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly what I said. You’re the one that wants to walk around pretending that you and I are just really good friends. You’re the one that wants to ignore the sexual tension that’s always looming between us and I go along with it because I’m not going to force you into anything that you don’t want.”

I know that I should just nod my head and change the subject. I know that what I’m about to say is going to change everything. I know all this, but I’ve had enough alcohol to think that maybe just maybe owning up to my feelings might be a good idea, “What if I said I wanted you? Right here. Right now.”

I watch the anger in his blue eyes slowly fade to lust. He licks his lips before growling, “I’d tell you that if you want it, you can have it. I’d also warn you that once I start, I intend to finish so you better make damn sure it’s what you want.”

I nod my head as I slowly push my chair back and start walking towards his house. As I reach the door, I turn back around to face him, “Are you coming?”

He quickly abandons his seat and before I know it, he’s pulled me back against him. His lips find my ear and his breath is warm on my skin as he whispers, “Oh, honey, I’m definitely coming.”

My eyes slam shut and I resist the urge to moan as he reaches around me and slides open the door. I’m quickly ushered inside and he shuts the door behind him. He grabs my hand and we head up the stairs to his bedroom.

He opens the door and as I’m about to enter, he grabs my hand, “Nikki, we don’t have to do this. We can go back downstairs. We can go back to playing the game and forget this ever happened.”

I can’t help the smile that appears on my face. We’ve only been friends for six months, but I already know that this is classic JC. He’s all about putting the people he cares about and their wants and needs before his. I’m not really sure that I’m not going to regret this in the morning, but I know that, right now, this is exactly what I want.

Instead of answering, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him towards me. Our lips met and my knees went weak when he slipped his tongue past my lips. I feel his arms engulf me and we begin backing up into the room. He shuts the door with his foot.

He moved to plant kisses on my neck as his hands found their way to my hips. He pulled me closer and I could feel how aroused he was. A low moan escaped from my throat. I stepped away from him and removed my t-shirt. When I started to remove my sweats, he placed his hands over mine to still my movements.

“Not so fast, honey. We’ve got time.” He murmured gruffly.

I couldn’t find my voice so I simply nodded my head. He lifted his hands off of mine and got rid of the shirt he was wearing. He framed my face with his hands and tilted my head upwards before bring his mouth down to cover mine. As I began to participate in the kiss, his hands left my face. A few seconds later I felt my bra give way and he slid it down my arms.

I gasped as he lifted me into his arms and carried me over to the bed. Once he’d laid me down, he came to rest beside me. He began to caress one of my breasts before leaning down and taking a nipple into his mouth. I slid my fingers into his hair and arched my back.

He switched breasts and after a few minutes, I lightly tugged on his hair. He sat up and I pushed him back on the bed. I ran my hands down his chest and stomach, stopping when I reached his shorts. He lifted his hips so I could pull them off.

I’d been dreaming of this since the moment I ran into him in Starbucks all those months ago and I was quickly realizing that reality was going to be far better than anything I’d dreamed up.

I took him in my hand and began to stroke up and down. I looked up to see him intently watching me as he chewed on his bottom lip. A few drops appeared on the head and I gave him a grin before I bent forward to take him in my mouth. Before I accomplished that task, however, I felt his hands intertwined in my hair and he lightly tugged until I sat up. I glared at him as I asked, “Is there a reason you stopped me?”

JC laughed as he yanked me upwards so I was straddling him, “Yes, there is a reason.”

I resist the urge to roll my eyes as I respond, “Care to share with the rest of the class?”

“Because when you make me cum for the first time, I want to be deep inside of you instead of in your mouth.” He whispered in my ear before attacking my neck with his lips.

“Yeah…that…uh…that sounds like a good reason.” I manage to croak out as I lift up so he can pull off my sweat pants and underwear.

He removes his face from my neck and gives me a grin, “I’m glad you agree.”

He flips us over and reaches over to open the drawer in his bedside table. The next words out of my mouth still his movements.

“I’m on the pill.”

He looks down at me and the gaze that greets me is so intense that I have to look away, “Are you sure?” I nod my head yes, but that’s not good enough for him, “Sweetheart, look at me.”

When I can’t bring myself to meet his eyes, he retracts his arm and guides my face to look up at him with his hand, “I’m okay with not using a condom, but if you want me to wear one, than I’m okay with that too. Just don’t tell me that it’s okay if it’s not. It’s completely up to you, but either way, I need to hear you actually say it.”

I don’t know how he always seems to know exactly what I need to hear, but that rids me of any doubt I’d had, “I want to feel you. All of you.”

He leans down and kisses me tenderly, “Thank you.”

I dug my fingers into his shoulders as he reached between us to position himself at my entrance. With one smooth stroke, he was inside of me. He pulled out slowly before driving deeper into me. He was hot and hard and I could feel the delightful pressure of him all the way through my body. My legs automatically wrapped around him and I moved my hips to meet his thrusts.

I arched against him and he gave a low groan before cupping my bottom and thrusting even deeper. Pleasure clawed at me, creating sensations I’d never imagined existed. JC locked his fingers with mine as he kissed me. He used his tongue to mimic what he was doing to me with his lower body and that filled me with even more delight. He ended the kiss to bury his face in the crook of my neck and the sounds of his groans were all I could hear. I could feel the muscles in his shoulders rippling under my fingertips and with each plunge, I could feel my orgasm building.

“Mmmm...Jaaaaaace.” I moaned. This prompted him to turn his head and suck on my earlobe. That was all it took to send me over the edge.

Wave after wave of the most intense climax I’ve ever had washed over me and after a few more strokes, he went rigid and followed me into completion.

“JC, when I asked about this story, you seemed to be very reluctant for it to be told. You’re not the first couple I’ve seen that’s ended up in bed together after a few drinks. You two had known each other for six months and had become good friends. It’s certainly nothing to be ashamed of even if it isn’t the most conventional way of getting together.” Dr. Cavanaugh reasoned.

My husband cleared his throat before responding, “It’s not that part of the story that I have a problem with. It’s what happened the next morning.”

She pushed her glasses up on her face and nodded, “Nikki, why don’t you continue?”

I took a deep breath, knowing that the next part of this story didn’t paint me in the best light.

I’m incredibly thankful that he’s a deep sleeper as I remove his arm from around me and he doesn’t stir. I slide from underneath the covers and look around the room for my discarded clothing. I grab my sweats and quickly pull them on. I spot my shirt on the other side of the room and cross over to get it. I decide to go braless because the quicker I make my exit, the better. I put on my shirt and pick up my bra. I tiptoed towards the door and as soon as my hand grasps the door knob, his voice stops me.

“Please tell me you have some photo shoot that you have to get to and you just didn’t want to wake me, but you had every intention of calling me later.” I slowly turn back around to face him and the sight of him sitting with his back to the headboard and the sheet riding dangerously low on his hips leaves me momentarily speechless. “Come back to bed, Nikki.”

That command pulls me out of my reverie, “Look, Jace, last night wa-“

He cut me off before I could label it a mistake, “Wonderful? Incredible? Definitely something that should happen again?”

“No.” I close my eyes as a heavy sigh escapes my lips, “It shouldn’t have happened at all.”

He laughs, but there’s no warmth to the tone, “Is this the part where you blame what happened on the alcohol? Because you and I both know that last night was more than some drunken mistake.”

“No, it wasn’t.” I argued. “It was sex. It was two horny adults with lowered inhibitions using one another to get off. Don’t make it more than it was, JC.”

“How about you stop trying to make it less than it was, Nicolette?” He spat back and I cringed at the use of my whole name. He only used it when he was trying to annoy me and when he was angry with me.

“Josh, I don’t want to do this. Can we just pretend this never happened and go back to the way things were?” I plead and, instantly, I know that was the wrong thing to say.

 “You expect me to pretend this never happened?” I watch as his blue eyes turn to ice and he gets up from the bed. I don’t even have the temptation to run my eyes over his naked form because I can’t bring myself to look away from his intense gaze. He stalks over to where I’m standing and he plants a hand on each side of me, trapping me against the door, “You expect me to just hang out with you, go to lunch or dinner, watch movies, and just go back to normal.”

“Uh...yes.” I squeak and, for the second time that morning, a bitter laugh escapes him.

“I can’t do that.” He says as he shakes his head, “It’s not that I don’t want to. Believe me, if I could give you that, I would. But I can’t. Before, I just thought about us being together. Now, I know how you taste. I know what it’s like to make you shiver from my touch. I know what it’s like to have you moan my name. There are some lines that you just can’t pull back from once you’ve crossed them, Nikki, and as much as I adore your friendship, I can’t pretend like nothing happened.”

“Just like that we’re done?” I inquire as tears begin to form in my eyes.

“Shit, Nikki, what do you want me to say?” JC questioned as he pushed off the door and walked back towards the bed, “I told you last night that we didn’t have to do anything. Don’t you dare try to play the victim in all of this.”

“I was drunk!” I reasoned.

“Are you trying to say I took advantage of you?” He asks incredulously, his voice dangerously low.

“No!” I yell and then answer again at a regular tone, “No. I know you would never take advantage of me, Jace. You gave me plenty of opportunity to stop it, but I didn’t because I wanted it. I wanted you.” I leaned against the door as I questioned, “What do you want from me?”

“I want you to admit that there’s something here. I want you to give me a shot at being more than your friend.” His eyes met mine and, when I stayed silent, he scratched the back of his neck as he sat down on the bed and pulled the sheet over his lower body, “If you can’t give me that, than I just want you to go, Nikki.”

 I’d love nothing more right now than to be able to turn back the clock and prevent last night from happening because as incredible as it was, it wasn’t worth losing our friendship over and that’s exactly what was happening. I knew that as soon as I walked out of the door and out of his house, it would be the last time I saw him. My eyes met his and I know he’s hoping that I’ll give in. That I’ll give him what he wants, but I can’t.

“Goodbye, Jace.” I choke out before turning the door knob and walking out of his life.

“It was hard.” JC interjected, “I can’t tell you how many times I almost called her.”

“Why didn’t you?” Dr. Cavanaugh asked.

“As petty as it sounds, I didn’t want to be the first one to break,” he answered, “I wasn’t wrong and I thought that if I was the first to call, I’d be admitting that she was right.”

She wrote on her notepad before asking me the same question she’d asked JC. I thought for a few moments before answering, “I didn’t call for the same reasons he didn’t. I wasn’t going to be the first one to offer up an apology.”

The blonde woman nodded and then asked us both, “Is that a common theme in your relationship? When there’s a disagreement, do you two argue to be heard or to be right?”

JC spoke, “It’s definitely to be right.”

“And we’ll both go to great lengths to get the last word.” I added.

“If both of you are trying to get the last word than that means you’re not really listening to one another. If you’re not listening to one another than you’re just arguing for the sake of arguing and nothing will ever get resolved. You both need to decide what is more important to you. Being right or having a good marriage because trying to be right in every argument is extremely detrimental to your relationship with one another.” Dr. Cavanaugh explained, “Before you leave today, I’m going to give you two a few exercises you can do to help you learn to really listen to one another.” She made another note on her notepad before speaking “JC, why don’t you tell me what happened after two months that got you two to start speaking again.”