10:30 PM

That’s what the big, red numbers on his alarm clock said staring right back at him. He had been tossing and turning in bed for about the past thirty minutes. His body was exhausted, having spent quite a few hours in the studio tweaking demos, yet his mind was wide awake and wildly racing with thoughts.

Everyone who knew him knew he had thoughts for days. He was a creative soul and very passionate with ideas. He always had the wheels going round and round in his head and many times his mouth couldn’t even keep up to express his thoughts. Though it was a good thing no one was around to verbalize tonight’s thoughts to. They were personal and filled with confusion, and he really wasn’t in the talking mood.

He lay with his head upon his pillow and his body hidden under his silky, cream sheets. He wore a simple white wifebeater and some plaid boxer shorts. His body was comfortable and rather cozy, yet he had a longing to truly feel cuddled and snuggled up. He was missing someone in his life to just hold tight and gravitate to, especially throughout the night, every night in bed. He was missing the warmth of another body, one of female persuasion. That was part of his dilemma.

The other part was that he was turning 34.

 He sighed, watching as time continued to go by, just like the years of his life. He lived in his own world of time and now it was quickly catching up to him. Time had ticked by and moments had passed. He wasn’t that young boy just starting a boy band with his friends anymore. He was a man now and approaching his mid-thirties. He was what some would call, “washed up”, and he was left to use what expertise he did have in dancing on an edgy, competitive show for dance crews. Besides that gig, he was still working in the studio, creating music, if only for the new generation of stars. Oh how time had gone by.

He thought to himself, as he looked at the clock once more.

11:00 PM

Oh great! One hour! One more freaking hour. Then it’s bye, bye, bye 33 and hello 34. Why couldn’t I have just fallen asleep, instead of being in this misery of insomnia?

What happened to sleeping peacefully, being young, and having a hot chick in your bed? Oh that’s right…those days are over. Silly me.

But damn…I miss her. I miss that hot chick in my bed. I miss the way she felt against my body. I miss her lips crashing against mine. I miss the way we made love. I miss how she’d freak me out every time I did something wrong and she’d scream, “Joshua Scott!” I miss how she’d bake me cookies and sometimes even bring them to the studio. I miss how she’d laugh at my jokes, her laughter so contagious and sexy. I miss just…being with her and making memories. Having her by my side, enjoying the little things in life, that’s what I miss the most.

I want her back. I need her love. I need her love again.He shifted upon his mattress and then sat up, scooting closer to his nightstand. He reached his arm out and then used his fingers to flick the switch upon his lamp. The brightness then shocked his eyes for a moment, as the lamp came to life. He blinked many times, letting his eyes adjust to the light and then he fully opened his gorgeous eyes of crystalline blue. His lips pursed in thought, as if telling himself to not do it. Yet, he did it anyways. He opened the drawer of his nightstand and then shuffled through some papers to find the picture he was looking for. He found it and was immediately captivated. As always.

Her bright, green eyes paired with her brown hair filled with honey highlights, and her pearly whites showing in a genuinely happy smile. Her perfect body with just enough curves and her long legs that were very satisfying, especially wrapped around him during their sexual encounters. She was just beautiful. He loved it when she was dressed in one of his t-shirts and he loved it when she was dolled up in a high-end evening gown. The woman in this picture could do no wrong with the way she dressed, styled her hair, or wore her makeup.

He sighed, seeing the way he held her tight, his arm around her waist. The way she seemed to lean into him and had her own arm around him. They were just happy and looked like any other couple that was madly in love. He remembered his mother taking the picture of them and practically gushing afterwards about how striking of a couple they were. How perfect they were together. How much she wanted them to have a blissful future and well, they had almost found it. Almost.

Yet, their love and a little bundle of joy just didn’t cut it. They came crumbling down.

The picture had been put back in his nightstand drawer and the lamp had been turned off. His head hit his pillow once more, practically begging for dreamland. Though his eyes couldn’t stay closed for long enough and his body didn’t want to give in. His mind was still full of thoughts and all he could do was stare up in the darkness at the ceiling.

If only his fans could see him now. Those that still truly cared and gave him any sort of respect. Those that knew he was human and had issues like everyone else, insomnia included. He surely wasn’t being a manwhore along Sunset Blvd in the late night, like some would think. He certainly wasn’t clubbing it and getting numbers from ten random chicks. Nor was he even strumming his guitar or jotting down lyrics that came to him. He wasn’t the JC Chasez that everyone thought they knew or wanted him to be. Yes, he got random chicks’ numbers. Maybe he did take his chance on Sunset…..a couple times. Yeah, he did constantly work on music. Yet, his life wasn’t all about sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll. He had more on his plate and he was a lot more normal at second or third glance.

He was simply…Josh. Just a man that was not looking forward to his birthday that was minutes away and wishing it wasn’t. Just a man that was laying in bed, all alone, wishing he was sleeping in the arms of a lover. In Noelle’s arms, for that matter.

11:55 PM

Five more minutes. Five more minutes.

11:56 PM

Four more minutes. Shit..it’s like New Years’ Eve, but not! It’s the countdown to being old. Older than dirt. He let out the softest chuckle at his own thoughts.Oh if only Noelle was here. If she hadn’t slipped through my fingers. She’d probably be sexing me up, already getting the celebration started.

He moved out from under the sheets and slowly made his way over to the bathroom, careful to not bump into a wall in the dark.

He had had some juice before coming upstairs for the night and now it was going through him.

He mused as he finished up and then washed his hands, before retreating back to his bed.

The clock quickly switched from 11:58 to 11:59 PM, as soon as he lay down once more. The big, red numbers glaring back, just ready to turn to the next day.

He just stared at the numbers, waiting for it to turn to midnight. That way he could get over this whole countdown and just let it soak in. Let the fact that he was one year older soak in. Then maybe he could beat the insomnia and his thoughts of growing old and of Noelle could disappear.

11:59:50 PM

33...33..33..

It’s almost here. My birthday. Please god, don’t let it suck too much. Hopefully spending it with Tyler and Noah will be just what I need.

12:00 AM

………34! Just as the numbers upon his alarm clock changed, solidifying that it was his birthday, the grandfather clock downstairs chimed loudly enough throughout the house, signally the changing of the day as well.

It was August 8th. The countdown was over.

Then before he could let any other thoughts cycle through his brain, a little body came crashing into the room.

He practically had a heart attack, pressing his hand over his heart, not expecting it at all, but it was probably just what he needed.

The little body crawled upon the mattress and then fell on top of him.

“Daddy!” A little boy, cried out in glee.

“What’s up, bud? Why aren’t you sleeping?” He held back laughter, realizing it wasn’t a fair question when he himself hadn’t been sleeping either.

“I sleep. But got up and colored. I colored a picture. Now I see you, daddy.” The little boy cuddled into JC’s chest and hugged him tight.

“Oh really? Well it’s good that you’re here. It’s now daddy’s birthday and he needs all the cuddling he can get.”

“I cuddle you.”

“Thank you, Noah.”

He grinned, finally the first true grin of the night, just feeling the love he got from his son. That was the one good reminder of his relationship with Noelle, even if it was constant. They had named him Noah, coming to the conclusion that it was like a combination of their names…Joshua and Noelle. Plus it meant “comfort” and they hoped that Noah would always be a source of comfort to them and vice versa. It was now he who was getting the comfort.

Noah spoke once more. “Do I get a birthday?”

“Of course you do, little dude. Remember? It’s in October. You’ll be 4 this year.” Noah then giggled at his daddy’s response.

“Oh yeah…that’s right, daddy. I gonna be a big boy.”

“You most certainly are.” He pecked the top of Noah’s head and just basked in the warmth of the little body upon his.

“Are you old now?”

Laughter spilled out of his chest at the question.

“Yeah. I am. Daddy’s been old for awhile, but now he’s real old.”

“You still play with me at beach tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow really is today, Noah. But yes….I can still play with you. Daddy’s not super super old yet. Uncle Tyler will play with you too.”

Noah then nuzzled his face into the crook of his daddy’s neck. “Okay, good. I sleep again. Stay here.”

“Alright,. You can sleep again and stay here. I’ll let you.” He rubbed Noah’s back gently and soon enough he heard only shallow breathing coming from his little man. He was glad to have a body in his bed, even if it was his sleeping son.

And with that final thought, JC sighed and shut his eyes. Allowing his body to finally fully relax and his mind to shut off. Within minutes he was joining Noah in dreamland.

He woke up with Noah still cuddled against him, holding on tightly. The morning sun had crept through the windows and his eyes had to adjust for a moment. He blinked his eyes a few times and let out a soft yawn. His eyes then went to his alarm clock and he knew they had to get up. He wiped his face with his hand, truly forcing himself to wake up. There was no use in wasting away his birthday, especially having plans to enjoy the beach with his brother.

JC carefully nudged at Noah, causing the little boy to move a little and let out a soft squeal. “Wake up, buddy.”

“I’m awake. I’m awake, daddy.” Noah squirmed and then looked up at his father, possessing the same beautiful blue shade of eyes.

“Okay, good. We have to get ready. Uncle Tyler will be over soon.” Noah’s eyes lit up.

“We go to the beach. I’m going to swim and build sandcastle.” JC ruffled Noah’s brown locks of hair and grinned.

“That sounds like a plan, little man. First, we need get out of pajamas and get ready to go.”

“I put on my swim shorts? The blue ones.” JC grinned with nod.

“Okay, you can do that. Daddy has to put his on too.”

Noah then pulled away from JC and carefully hopped off the bed. He scampered out of the room and across the hall to his own bedroom. The little boy’s energy and excitement almost contagious.

He shook his head, amused by how fast Noah ran off and then sighed. He might as well change into his swim shorts and throw on a t-shirt, plus some flip flops. Then he could go across the hall and make sure Noah was doing alright.

He tried telling himself, as he stepped into his walk-in closet and perused the swim shorts in his collection. He found a pair of blue swim shorts, figuring he might as well match his son. So he took them off the rack and then he discarded his boxers from his body. He then slipped the swim shorts on. Next, his wifebeater came off and he just put on a simple gray t-shirt. Lastly, he looked down at the floor, seeing his collection of shoes. He was attracted to a pair of black, rubber flip flops and slid them onto his feet.

Having his attire together and on his body, JC went into the bathroom then and he checked himself out in the mirror. He didn’t feel like shaving, so he decided to forgo it. Though he did quickly run a brush through his hair and rinse his mouth with some mouthwash. Then he exited the bathroom, leaving his master bedroom, and headed to Noah’s room.

He entered the room, finding Noah still in his pajamas and focused on a task. The little boy looked to be coloring again.

“You a coloring monster, buddy?” JC asked with a chuckle. “ We’re suppose to be getting ready for the beach, not coloring.”

Noah whined. “But daddy, I have to finish this. It’s for you. I have to finish it now. I didn‘t finish yet.”

JC had received a few works of art from Noah before and he did enjoy them immensely. It was touching that Noah was playing artist again and making him a picture. So he pulled Noah’s blue swim shorts out of the bottom drawer of his dresser and then settled them on the floor beside Noah. He also found a white t-shirt and a pair of flip flops for him, settling those beside Noah as well.

“When you’re done coloring my picture, put on your beach clothes, Noah. Okay? I’m going to go downstairs and pack some stuff for the beach.”

Noah didn’t even respond, he was working way too diligently on his picture.

z88;

Just as he made it downstairs, the door bell rang. He knew it was his brother, so he quickly unlocked the door and smiled, letting Tyler in.

“Hey, Josh. Happy Birthday, bro.” JC shrugged his shoulders.

“Thanks, I guess.” Tyler laughed.

“What? Not enjoying growing old.”

“Mmmm…something like that. I like birthdays, but they just aren’t the same anymore.”

Tyler nodded, understanding what his older brother was getting at. Once you reached a certainage the excitement died down and once you were without the greatest love of your life, you truly didn’t feel like celebrating.

“So, where’s my little guy? Normally he greets me like I’m God.” Laughter escaped JC’s lips.

“He’s coloring. He insisted he has to finish a picture for me before we go to the beach.”

“Ahh….well then. I guess we’ll wait for him to finish. You got everything you two want for the beach?”

JC shook his head.

“I was actually just getting to it. Have to pack some juices boxes, as well as crackers and cookies. Then a shovel and pail for Noah, so he can make his sandcastles. Towels for us. A big beach umbrella. Mmm…and I just got him a red Frisbee. I’ll pack that too and you can help him throw it, Ty.”

Tyler grinned. “Sweet. I loved playing Frisbee as a kid. We’ll have fun with that.”

JC grabbed a huge tote bag and he began filling it up with all the items he spoke of as well as some others, as Tyler watched and waited for his brother and nephew to be ready to go.

z88;

About ten minutes later, Noah came down the stairs so fast, he was super lucky he didn’t tumble down them and seriously injure himself. He came barreling into the kitchen, finding his father and uncle by the counter.

He held up the piece of paper that was covered in his artwork, waving it excitedly. “Daddy! I finished! Is all done. Happy birthday, daddy!”

JC had just double-checked that he had everything in the tote bag and looked at Noah, grinning widely. He loved how the little boy made his presence known and was proud of himself for finishing. Tyler couldn’t help, but grin at his nephew as well.

“Thanks, Noah. You’re the best.” JC said, taking the picture from his son. He eyed it carefully, seeing some cloud-like shapes, along with a rainbow. He also saw some hearts sporadically placed. There were also some people, more like stick figures, but people nonetheless. He could see that two of them were “adults” and one was a “child”. The child had a stick figure puppy beside him, while the adults were on either side.

“It’s very….pretty. You’re a true artist.” He continued staring at the picture and his mind put two and two together.

“Who are the people in the picture?” Noah giggled.

“Silly, daddy. It’s me, my puppy, daddy, and mommy.”

JC pondered the thought for a moment and then he swallowed a huge lump in his throat. He turned around for a moment, wiped his eyes, before a single tear could be shed. Then he turned back around, plastering a smile.

“That’s awesome, Noah. Though you don’t have a puppy yet. Maybe for your birthday.”

Tyler took the picture out of JC’s hand then and when he looked at it, after hearing Noah explain who was in it, he knew exactly why his brother grew silent for a moment. He knew how much his brother still loved Noelle and how much he wanted their perfect family, not wanting Noah to grow up between the two households. Tyler stepped out to the fridge, grabbed a magnet, and then hung up the picture.

“Look, now you and daddy can admire it all the time.” Noah clapped his hands in glee.

“Oh I got you something else, daddy, but can’t give now.” JC nodded and then he squatted down to Noah’s level, pulling him in for a hug, realizing then that he’d managed to dress himself for the beach.

“Okay, little dude. Daddy loves you so much. I love the picture.” Noah squeezed tightly in return.

“Love too. Is mommy giving you a birthday gift?”

His eyes darted to Tyler and then back to Noah, and to the wall and back to Noah. This was freaking him out. Why was Noelle becoming such a topic?

“Uhh…no. I don’t think so. She’s got other things to worry about. Daddy isn’t important to her.”

Tyler sighed and Noah just nodded as if he understood, though if he did, he would’ve questioned his daddy’s words.

He shook his head, ridding himself of anymore thoughts. He didn’t need to be depressed on his birthday or focus on a lost romance.

He clapped his hands together and cried out with glee.” Beach time! Come on, Noah. Let’s have some fun.”

He swooped up his little man into his arms and carried him outside to the car, Tyler following them with a smile.

z88;

z88;

After getting some morning traffic, they soon arrived at the beach, pulling up to the boardwalk. JC found a nice spot to park his Mercedes and killed the engine. Then he hopped out and helped Noah open his door and slide out from the back seat, before grabbing the tote bag from the trunk.

Tyler decided it would be easier to just carry his nephew until they walked down to the sand and chose prime location on the beach. So he picked Noah up and he heard a squeal of glee.

“Where you taking me?” JC laughed.

“Uncle Ty is putting you in the trash can……..right there.” Noah shook his head.

“I not trash, daddy.” Tyler laughed.

“Daddy’s silly. Uncle Tyler is carrying you to the beach. That way we won’t lose you and you won’t get tired walking.”

JC shook his head. Leave it to Uncle Tyler to be the hero.

They found a nice, rather unpopulated area of the beach. That way JC wouldn’t be bothered and Noah could be free to play and roam around as he pleased.

JC laid out a big beach towel and then set up the huge umbrella, so that the sun wouldn’t be right on them. JC also slid his aviators on and pulled some sunscreen out, as well.

“You want daddy to put sunscreen on you?” He asked, looking at Noah, who was already reaching for his pail and shovel.

“No! Uncle Tyler rub it on.” Tyler laughed and did a fist into the air.

“Daddy 0 points, Uncle Tyler like 50.” JC rolled his eyes.

“Whatever. It’s only fun rubbing sunscreen on someone if they’re a hot chick.”

Tyler knew his brother was right, but he would happily oblige his nephew.

z88;

JC smiled from under the umbrella and his aviators, catching sight of his brother and son throwing around the red Frisbee. Noah had lost interest in building sandcastles sooner than thought and he had quickly picked up how to throw the red flying disc from his uncle.

Hearing Noah cry out in excitement as the Frisbee flew and coasted along the shore, was music to his ears. Whenever his son was having fun and happy, he just got this warm, fuzzy feeling in his heart. He then chuckled as he watched Noah throw the Frisbee once more and it was a bad throw that went right to the ground. Yet, before he could pick it up again, a little girl came by and picked it up. Noah allowed the girl a turn to throw his Frisbee and he was already working the Chasez charm.

JC mused, but most importantly was proud of his son for being friendly and allowing the girl to play with him. He watched as Tyler than began throwing the Frisbee, letting Noah and the little girl try to catch it.

z88;

He sighed then and cocked his head, looking over to the other side of the beach. He saw some more people and another big beach umbrella caught his eye. Underneath, he could make out a feminine form laying on her stomach and it appeared that she was reading. It was probably a trashy romance novel. The type that actually take place on beaches because they’re so romantic and shit and filled with sex on the shore.

The female looked up from her novel for a second and then her cell phone rang. He watched as she answered it and though she was quite a ways from him, she spoke loud enough to make out her voice.

He then eyed her as best as he could despite the distance.

He gasped in realization.

He let out a loud groan and covered his face with his hand. What would he even say to her if she even saw it was him and decided to say hello?

He shook his head at the thought. He was losing it

He noticed his brother running back up the sand toward him, figuring that Tyler was ready for a break from playing. Noah appeared to still be in high energy and kept interest in playing with the little girl who'd become his Frisbee partner.

"Want a juice box?" He asked, with a chuckle, as Tyler sat down beside him.

"Of course, I want one, daddy!" Tyler replied with his own chuckle.

JC opened up the mini cooler he'd packed and fished a grape juice box out for his brother, handing it to the younger man.

"Thanks. So, why are you just sitting back and hiding under the umbrella? I'm sure Noah wants you to play with him too. This isn't just The Uncle Tyler Show."

"Mmm...I will. I'll probably swim with him in a little bit. I've just been thinking about stuff."

And then he did it. He couldn't hold it in a second longer. He just blurted it out.

"Noelle's here!" Tyler looked at him confused.

"What do you mean? Noelle is here?" JC nodded and then bobbed his head over in Noelle's direction.

"That's exactly what I mean. See her?"

Tyler looked in Noelle's direction and he knew the beauty under the yellow beach umbrella, still on her cell phone, was indeed his brother's former lover and Noah's mother.

"Oh yeah...that's her, Josh. So....what's the big deal? Go on over to her. I know you want to."

JC shook his head. He wasn't particularly happy about seeing the woman he still lusted over, while he was on the beach trying to celebrate a birthday he wasn't too keen on celebrating.

Yeah, he did see her almost every week when they'd take turns having Noah. She'd come over and drop Noah off and vice versa. Yet, their words were quickly exchanged and didn't include anything about their past. Just simple hellos and goodbyes, with maybe a couple sentences of small talk. Though he had a hard time giving her eye contact during those encounters, knowing he'd get lost in her eyes that were like a spring meadow of green.

He'd gotten lost in them many times before. Including the day they first met.

It had been after touring for his debut album, Schizophrenic, had ended and he was all excited to get back to work on another album. He'd gone into Jive, all prepared to have a meeting with some executives. He was going to throw out some ideas and get some studio time scheduled. While, he was in the meeting, Noelle had walked in late, but quietly took a seat at the conference table he and the executives were at. Once all the major discussion had ended, Noelle was quickly introduced. It turned out she was a new hire for Jive Records and was going to help them out with marketing and artist development, among other things here and there.

He loved how she didn't appear star-struck and treated him like a normal guy as they engaged in small talk after the meeting. He'd invited her to have lunch with him before he actually went to tinker around in the studio that day. Their lunch had been quite perfect...honestly. They had a connection right away that became apparent before their check even came. She'd opened up about being passionate about music, but not being an entertainer herself. So her next best thing was to help those who were destined to entertain. She also told him how she'd moved to LA not too long ago to try and get her career in motion. He told her how he had done the whole debut album thing and was looking forward to a sophomore album. How he couldn't do anything else, but music. He just really poured more of his heart out to her than he normally did to a girl he'd just met. Though he couldn't have helped it. She just made him laugh and feel himself, as if she'd been an old friend. Plus, she was gorgeous and he had definitely noticed it.

As time went on, he and Noelle had gone on an official first date. That one date had then turned into many dates. Their chemistry was on fire and their lust for one another grew in intensity. Not only would they see each other when they went on dates, but also when they'd bump into each other at Jive or industry events. Word had spread that JC Chasez was falling for the new marketing girl and at first it sounded like good publicity. So when JC finally asked Noelle to be his girlfriend, during a romantic evening on Valentine's Day 2005 where she had gladly made their relationship official, Jive didn't have a care in the world. Jive was in the music business not the business of love.

Noelle began appearing with JC everywhere and even cheered for him on the sidelines at the July 2005, Challenge For the Children celebrity basketball game. Their romance had heated up that summer and he could even see a future with her. Which was quite a feat for JC, seeing as many considered him a commitment-phobe or too focused to settle down just yet. Though he was busy in the studio, trying to bring life to another album, he was making time for Noelle. He was balancing everything as best as he could.

So when Valentine's Day 2006, rolled around, their one year anniversary turned into an even bigger celebration. It also came with news that would require juggling both of their careers and a baby at the same time. Noelle had announced she was pregnant. It had been unexpected, but seeing as they had a hard time taking their hands off each other, it had been quite the possibility. They had promised each other they could make it work and that even with JC wanting to release Kate in the new year, that a baby wouldn't derail that. It would just give JC more inspiration.

So he continued to diligently work on his music and even started doing press, knowing this time around he'd really have to bring it. Noelle was encouraging, still concerned about his well-being and how his album was coming together, despite the fact her belly was growing and she was preparing for a baby. They had decided that Noelle would move into JC's house and so it had quickly turned into babyland. Noelle did what work she could still do, but the impending birth seemed to come quicker than a flash of lightning.

Mid-October 2006, Noah Scott Chasez, made his presence into the world. JC and Noelle fell in love with the little guy right away. He looked a lot like his daddy, but had his mother's nose. He became the most important thing in their lives and they even protected him as best as they could from paparazzi and any sort of publicity. JC was adamant his son wouldn't be a victim of his father's fame. So Noelle and JC, raised him as best as they could being first time parents.

Yet, despite the joy of a baby boy, the joy of JC's forthcoming sophomore album seemed to fade. He worked on his music at home while Noah slept and he'd get real studio time away from the house when Noelle or family and friends were available. He had so many sleepless nights and he was losing faith in his record label as well. Almost everything he had pitched to them, just wasn't what they wanted him to release. Everything they suggested to him in return wasn't the music JC wanted to release. It was like a tug of war and the music industry had changed from *NSYNC days. He hated believing so strongly in his own ideas and the songs he created, to have them all shattered and disrespected.

Then when he actually went out to do his own publicity, it was such a joke. Jive told him he could have a 2007 spring or summer release for his sophomore album. Yet, they weren't properly supporting him, nor marketing him. Which was pretty tragic when his girlfriend was suppose to be apart of the team to do that. He went at it indie-style, going to radio stations and handing them copies of the single he hoped to release. You Ruined Me had been inspired by Noelle and was radio-friendly. He thought it would definitely fit into mainstream music and give him another chance for true success. He even met fans along the way, having pizza parties and such with them. He wanted his music heard once more, yet his talent was being treated like crap. Noelle insisted that Jive would come around and told him not to give up. Yet, he knew they weren't coming around.

He didn't want to do it, but he came to terms with it. There was nothing else, but to leave Jive Records. He put his heart and soul into music that he knew would never get heard with them controlling his career. So it was time he took control and just pulled the plug.

So a month shy of Noah's first birthday, JC split from Jive, ending his ties with them. He knew in his heart it was the right thing to do, even if it hurt. They had treated him so well as a boy band member, but as a soloist it was as if they forgot who he was.

So he decided he'd focus on song-writing and producing, helping others to get the success he had failed to achieve. Though he spent more time with Noah and Noelle, things with Noelle began to crumble just a week after his split with Jive.

She began taking her career a lot more seriously and being Jive's go-to woman. They had her working on major projects for them and with stars that they had deemed as more talented and important than JC ever was. She started to really make connections and while JC was home with Noah, Noelle was schmoozing it up with the Backstreet Boys and other artists on the label at the time. Her image as the sweet, doe-eyed girl he first met, was being erased and the business was getting to her.

Though he still loved her as much as he always had, so it was a shocker to his heart when she decided to pull the plug on them. She came home one night just being a different person and telling him that she was breaking up with him. That she'd still help him raise Noah and they could have joint custody, but that their romance had to end.

He didn't understand it and he still didn't understand it. All he knew was that that had been the worst time of his life. The irony of him splitting up with Jive and Noelle splitting up with him at almost the same time had been freaking bittersweet.

So for almost the past three years, Noah had been taking turns being with his parents. JC was glad that they had at least been civil to keep up this arrangement and still let their little boy know both of his parents. Though he also knew that soon Noah would be starting school and that this arrangement wouldn't work anymore. One of them would have to get the short-end of the stick and only get him on weekends. JC had a feeling it would be him, knowing that his luck wasn't anything to brag about.

His luck with girls post-Noelle was evident of that.

He had a couple flings, but nothing really came of them. It seemed as if he was living in the land where thirty-somethings were still expected to act like twenty-somethings and have one nightstands all the time. It was all about who you could sleep with and how much fun you had partying.

Yet, with Noah, JC had a new mindset and he needed that girl that would settle down. That girl that would look past his unlucky career and see him for Josh, imperfections and all. That girl that appreciated his intellect and his heart, but wouldn't brag that she sexed him up. He was older now and priorities had changed. He feared he'd continue to grow older alone.

"Josh!" Tyler yelled after what seemed like an eternity of his brother not speaking.

"What?" He sighed, realizing he'd been silent and been watching scantily-clad California girls in bikinis that passed by. Though they had been nice eye-candy, they didn't make his heart race like Noelle.

"You spaced out on me or something and your son just ran over to his mother." He quickly turned his head and sure enough Noelle was hugging Noah and laughing with him.

"I was just watching what walked past me." He muttered. "Shit, I guess I have to go talk to her now."

Tyler patted his brother's back for some moral support. "You know that I know that Noelle has always been on your mind. She left you with memories that you still cherish and no matter how hard you try to watch girls in bikinis on the beach, they'll never erase what you feel. I just wish you'd stop playing and get her back man."

JC simply nodded and then let out a sigh, standing up from the ground. "Wish me luck." He whispered.

He headed over to where Noelle was and when he approached her, he shyly waved. It was as if he was a schoolboy with a crush and he was afraid to really say or do anything. He let her say hello first.

"Hi, Josh. I had no clue you'd be here." She smiled, taking her sunglasses off, revealing those eyes he saw every night he closed his eyes.

"Mommy's here!" Noah cried out in glee, as if JC was oblivious to the fact.

"I see that, buddy." He mustered up a smile. "Hi, Noelle."

"So, it's your birthday, right?" She asked with her heart-melting smile. He was relieved in a way that she at least remembered that fact.

"Yeah. The big 3-4. Thought we'd come to the beach."

"That's cool. I'm sure you're having a blast. Noah was telling me how much fun he had playing Frisbee." JC motioned over his shoulder to his brother, ways off in the distance.

"Yeah, he was playing with my brother. Tyler and him get along so well."

"I'm glad. Your brother always was sweet to me." JC simply nodded his head and then he felt Noah tugging at his hand. It was as if the little boy was wanting him to sit down.

"No, buddy. Daddy's fine standing." Noah continued to tug harder and looked up at his daddy.

"Mommy has to give you a hug. It's your birthday." Noelle chuckled and she gave her ex-lover a look that basically said ‘let's appease our son'.

JC sighed, telling himself quickly that he could do it. It would only last like two seconds. So he knelt down and when he did, he felt Noelle lean into him and wrap her arms around him. She squeezed him tight and he swore that same old shiver ran down his spine. Her scent was still the same as well, as he breathed it. Sweet like honey and warm like cinnamon.

"Happy birthday, Josh." She said sweetly and then pulled back. All too quickly that hug ended for better...or worse. He snapped out of his revelry of being so close to her and plastered on a smile.

"Thanks. It was....good seeing you. I guess, I'll see you again when you come to pick Noah up on Saturday."

She nodded at him and he stood back up, freeing space for Noah to get one more hug from his mother.

"You enjoy the rest of the day and week with daddy, baby boy." Noelle said hugging Noah.

"Love you, mommy." He said in an adorable tone.

Love you, mommy. Oops...I mean...love you, mami.

JC thought to himself, ready for this moment to end.

"We go swimming now, daddy?!" Noah cheered as he asked.

JC smiled and nodded his head then. "Yeah, we can't be at the beach and not swim. Come on, squirt."

Noah pulled away from Noelle and then latched his small hand into JC's much larger one.

"Bye, you two." Noelle said and waved.

JC simply waved back.

What's wrong with you, Josh? That's as close as you've gotten to her in forever and you just blow it. Yeah...I knew I should've just asked for the sex right away. At least I could've found out how she really feels about me now.

He headed over to the water with Noah, knowing a dip into the ocean might just be what he needed. Swimming could be rather relaxing.

Tyler had watched the whole scene unfold and he definitely was surprised by the hug, but very hopeful that something could be rekindled between his brother and Noelle. Noticing that JC and Noah were stepping into the water now and going to go for a swim, Tyler came up with a plan. He'd use what magic he had and try and do something that JC probably wouldn't approve of, but would end up loving him for.

He marched through the sand, finding his way over to Noelle. When he reached her he waved, catching her gaze, but she was on the phone. She gave him a signal that she'd be off in a second and to wait. So he waited for her to end her call, then smiled at him.

"Hi, Tyler." He smiled back at her.

"Hey, Noelle. Quite a coincidence all of us would be at the beach at the same time." She nodded.

"I suppose it is. Josh was telling me that you and Noah are like best buds. I'm glad he has an uncle to rely on."

"Yeah, I love him to death. So....how's work been? Josh hasn't really told me what you've been up to."

"Oh...yeah..I suppose he and I don't even talk about it much. I'm still with Jive. I just helped out a lot with Kris Allen. They had me working on marketing him to listeners outside of the whole American Idol scene. Then I'm working on getting stuff ready for Britney's new album. In fact, I was just on the phone with Jive. They were making sure I was still going to attend this event they're doing tonight. They're having David Archuleta perform and it's just going to be a blast."

"You know that my brother wrote a song for David's first album, right?" Noelle smiled.

"Yeah, of course. Don't Let Go is an awesome track. I'm not completely clueless to what he's been up to since....."

Her voice trailed off and Tyler figured she didn't want to complete the sentence, but he knew what she was getting at.

"Well, can I make a proposition?" Tyler asked.

"Go for it..."

"Noelle, I am actually having a birthday dinner, kind of a small party for Josh. He doesn't know about it, but he's been so down about his birthday this year. I just wanted to do something nice and try and cheer him up."

"That's sweet. I bet he'll thank you for it." She interrupted him and then her phone rang again. She answered it and then looked back at Tyler once the call ended.

"Sorry. Anyways...did you have anything else to say?"

"Yeah, in fact I did.. What I want to tell you is that...he's never been the same without you."

"Josh?" He rolled his eyes.

"Duh! Of course, Josh!"

"Ohhh..." She said quietly.

"Yeah..ohh" Tyler said dryly.

"...and I was kind of hoping that maybe you'd want to come." Noelle shook her head.

"I'm sorry, I can't. I have my work event to go to tonight. I can't cancel."

Tyler reached out and then placed his hand upon Noelle's chin, lifting her head, so her eyes truly looked into his.

"Now you listen to me. Josh really hasn't been the same without you. He hasn't dated anyone seriously in a long while and he's never found anyone else that makes him feel the way you made him feel. And...so you know...your son gave his daddy a family picture that he colored and it included both of his parents. I know it tugged at Josh's heartstrings."

Tyler sighed and watched as JC and Noah played in the water laughing and smiling, wishing that Noelle could put that same smile on his brother's face the way Noah did.

"If you still feel anything for my brother, you'll come tonight. You'll back out of whatever Jive wants you to be at and you'll come celebrate Josh's birthday. Please...just don't make the wrong decision. Please come. We're all meeting on Sunset at that new sushi restaurant that just opened. Then we might take the party to Josh's house. Josh's neighbor is willing to watch Noah for the evening."

Noelle sighed. "I don't know, Ty."

"You know...the old Noelle would've never let Josh go. I don't understand why you did."

She sighed once more. "What time?"

Tyler simply replied. "6 o'clock. That's the reservation time."

"I'll think about it..." Tyler took her answer for what it was worth, knowing he couldn't fully guarantee she'd show up, but praying that she would.

JC deserved everything he wanted in the world....including having Noelle back in his arms.

Once they had returned from the beach, Tyler spilled the beans to JC that there was a birthday party planned for him. It was much to JC's dismay at first, but then he realized it would be better to be around some friends than to be lonely and think about Noelle for the remainder of his birthday. So he allowed for the plans to stay as they had been planned.

It was about half an hour until they had to be at the restaurant and JC was perfectly ready. He'd showered, finally decided to shave, and found himself a decent outfit for the evening. He came downstairs wearing some dark denim jeans, paired with a blue and white plaid button-up shirt, and a hat upon his head.

He found Tyler and Noah both in the living room, his brother having already left and came back, ready for the evening. He heard the two of them laughing and he smiled as he walked around the couch to join them.

"What's so, funny?" JC asked.

"Nothing. Noah was just being his silly self." Tyler replied with a grin.

JC nodded and then noticed that Noah had a box beside him and it was neatly wrapped in some birthday wrapping paper. He remembered Noah had said he had something else for him beside the picture and figured maybe this was it.

"Is that another present for me?" He asked, reaching for it. Noah nodded his head and smiled.

"Yes. It's for you, daddy. Found it with Uncle Tyler at the store." Tyler grinned.

"Yeah, we do some pretty good shopping together. Don't we, Noah?"

The little boy nodded and then watched as his daddy lifted the cover off of the box, having already discarded the wrapping paper.

JC set the lid of the box down on the coffee table and revealed what was inside the box. He grinned widely seeing a brand new, shiny silver fedora. He lifted it out of the box and inspected it closely.

"So you can look cool, daddy." Noah said before JC could even speak yet. JC laughed and nodded.

"That's right, bud. I will look cool wearing this. Daddy will wear it next time instead of my black one. Thank you very much, Noah."

Noah grinned, happy that his daddy approved of his gift.

"And where's your gift to me?" JC asked, looking at his brother.

Tyler laughed. "Who said I got you anything?"

JC rolled his eyes and waited for the jokester to reveal the truth.

"Okay...okay. I decided I'm fitting the bill for tonight. I'm paying for all the food and drinks, so you don't even have to worry, birthday boy. I also have a surprise guest that should be showing up. I think you'll be thanking me."

JC was happy to hear that he wouldn't have to even touch his wallet tonight, but the second part of Tyler's gift threw him off and he was almost scared to find out who this surprise guest would be.

The door bell then rang and JC stood up to answer it. On the other side of the door was his neighbor who was willing to watch Noah for the evening. He greeted the kind woman and then explained to her that he had packed a bunch of stuff for Noah and that if she needed to for any reason, she should call his cell phone.

He retrieved Noah's bag and handed it to his neighbor and then he picked up Noah from the couch. He hugged his son tightly into his arms and squeezed him tight, placing a kiss upon his head.

"Noah, it's time for you to go with Holly. She's going to watch you tonight and bring you back in the morning."

"But I wanna stay with you." Noah whimpered.

"I know, but daddy has a party for his birthday and you're too little to be there."

"Okay....fiiiine. I go with Holly." JC smiled, glad that there was no more argument.

"Have a good night, little man. I'll see you in the morning. I love you." He gave Noah another kiss and then set his son down, allowing him to take Holly's hand.

"See you later, daddy. Love you." He then waved and Holly just smiled, leading the little boy out of the house and down the steps of the porch.

JC sat in the passenger side, as his brother drove them to the restaurant. Tyler glanced over at him, not hearing a peep from his usually rambling brother.

"You alive over there?" JC finally let out a soft chuckle.

"Yeah....just thinking."

"About?"

"Nothing." Tyler rolled his eyes.

"I know it's not nothing. Tell me." JC sighed.

"Okay. Fine. Thinking about Noelle." Tyler laughed, pretty sure that was the answer, but happy to have it confirmed.

"I thought you'd say so." He nudged Tyler playfully.

"So!? I can't help it if she looked amazing on the beach and I didn't seize the moment."

"You should've, bro. I don't know why you've been so shy and scared about this. You just have to tell her how you really feel. You just have to get it off your chest and leave the ball in her court."

JC slowly nodded. "I know. God....she felt so good in my arms when Noah made us hug. Mmm...and she still smelled like honey and cinnamon. I just....need her back. It's been too damn long."

Tyler patted JC's shoulder for support and some encouragement.

"Don't worry, bro. You'll get your wits about you back and make her come back to you. I'm thinking it's going to happen soon. Really soon."

"Whatever you say." JC shrugged his shoulders, as they pulled up to the sushi restaurant, just in time for their reservation.

6:00 PM

He was seated at a nice table in the back of the restaurant, his brother sitting across from him. All of his invited guests would be showing up now and he watched as some of them were filing in through the entrance.

He waved as friends approached the table and grinned graciously as they all gave him birthday wishes right away. He shook hands with his male friends and then gave hugs to his female friends. It felt good to be in their presence, around people he knew for sure still cared about him.

Everyone took their seats, minus the one guest that wasn't a guarantee. Tyler had asked for the restaurant to add another chair to the table and he really did hope Noelle would show up. He knew she could always be running late, but late was better than a no-show. Hopefully, she'd join them soon.

The menus were passed around and orders were quickly placed. Jokes were being cracked about JC being an old man now and drinks were starting to be served. It was going to be an awesome dinner filled with laughter, booze, and sushi. Three things that JC loved.

7:00 PM

The waitress came with their food finally, setting down everyone's respective meals in front of them. JC dug into his sushi rolls and began filling his tummy with the Japanese delicacies. He also downed it down with some Grey Goose. Dinner was better to be expected and he wasn't sure why he actually loathed his birthday this year anymore. That was until Evan had to bring up the fact that JC needed some birthday sex.

"You know you want to get laid tonight, JC." Everyone at the table laughed.

"Well, maybe, but I don't do the random one night stand thing anymore." Tyler than chimed in.

"Yeah, he wants Noelle back." Then just like junior high everyone "oooooed" as if they had just found out some scandalous rumor.

Man...oh man. He's right. I want Noelle. If she could just appear and be ready to jump under the sheets. I'd tap that.

He shook his head and then blushed at his own thoughts. "Well...Ty does have a point. If I get any birthday sex tonight, I want Noelle to be the one in my bed. Though I know the odds are stacked against that happening."

His friends all clapped, happy to hear the news that JC still had major feelings for his ex and that his sexual appetite for her was still strong and rearing to go.

Tyler looked at his watch, seeing that it was getting later and Noelle still hadn't shown. They were almost done with dinner and dessert would be coming soon. He then felt JC's eyes on him and gave him a funny look.

"What?" JC pointed to the empty seat the table.

"So...surprise guest is a no-show, huh?" Tyler sighed.

"Seems like it, but maybe they'll get here for dessert."

JC just shrugged, thinking if this person truly cared, they would've already shown up.

8:30 PM

All the dinner plates had been moved from the table as well as many glasses that had occupied wine, liquor, and anything else that pleased the party guests. Everyone was still enthralled in conversation, just waiting for dessert to finally arrive.

The waitress came back with some tea and coffee and some new forks for everyone, along with small plates. Then another waitress came over to the table and placed a huge birthday cake in front of JC. It was simply decorated in vanilla frosting and said ‘Happy Birthday JC' and there were candles on it. The waitress carefully lit them and JC knew what was coming.

He knew he would listen to his friends and brother sing out of tune and then he'd have to make a birthday wish.

Come on...let's just get this over with.

He sighed as he heard the singing begin and then laughed as the song sounded like a train wreck. He blushed at the embarrassment of his guests, knowing everyone else in the restaurant was looking their way.

The candles continued to flicker and everyone then looked at JC, expectantly.

"Come on! Make a wish!" Evan hollered.

"Blow them out if you still have air, old man." One of the girls joked.

JC chuckled and then took a deep breath.

I wish...I wish...I wish that Noelle would give me a second chance. Please God...let her come back to me.

He then blew the candles out and everyone cheered as he managed to get them all out on one try.

Tyler looked at his watch once more and he knew...Noelle wasn't coming. It was almost three hours past when he told her to come and dessert would be over before they knew it.

10:00 PM

The party had been taken back to JC's house after they'd finished their dessert and Tyler paid for everyone. Those that were already totally wasted or had work in the morning had already headed home, but there were still a few of their good friends over and willing to celebrate more.

JC was in the kitchen, grabbing a beer from the refrigerator and he popped the cap off like a pro. He sipped some of it down and then heard the doorbell ring. He set his beer down on the counter.

At first, he wasn't sure if he really heard it, but it rang once more. He walked out of the kitchen and through to the living room then. Seeing Tyler and everyone else playing some sort of card game and being rather boisterous, he figured he would answer the door himself. It was his house after all.

JC went over to the door and he carefully unlocked it. He thought maybe it was someone returning to the party, but when he opened the door finally it was apparent. This guest wasn't returning to the party.

They were just showing up to the party.

His eyes roamed over her body and then they met her own. The same green eyes that he had just wished for were looking back at him. He could practically smell her scent already, even if he was a little tipsy.

He looked at her carefully and he thought it was almost a dream. Yet, he knew it was her in the flesh. But why?

"Did you answer the door, Josh? Who is it?" Tyler asked from the couch.

He found his voice and quickly answered. "Yeah, I got it. Don't worry about it."

Noelle looked back at JC, expectantly, just waiting for him to let her in.

He slowly mustered a smile and then he reached for her hand. It had been forever since he felt her hand in his, but it was the only way he could think of getting her in the house. He could already feel the electricity of her touch. He tugged her into the house and then he shut the door behind her.

"Noelle..." He finally whispered.

"JC.." She said quietly in return.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm so sorry I'm late. Tyler invited me earlier on the beach. I got held up with work and missed your dinner. Figured I could at least show up here."

"Wait.....so you were suppose to be my surprise guest?" Noelle gave him a sweet smile.

"I guess I was. I'm here now though. So...."

JC smiled and then looked over at Tyler, his backside to him.

Oh god...I love him. Thank god for little brothers.

He looked back at Noelle and then he tugged on her hand some more.

"Come on..let's go upstairs. I think we need to talk and not around my brother and friends."

"To your bedroom?" She asked, nerves apparent in her voice.

"Yeah. Is that okay? ‘Cause I'm pretty sure we always got along in there."

"Uh..well..yeah..Okay. Lead the way, birthday boy."

JC then led Noelle up to his bedroom in record time.

You're going to do this! You're going to get her back! Make her not want to leave tonight. Maybe Birthday wishes really can come true.

He then shut the bedroom door behind them, so no one could interrupt. Once it was shut, he threw caution to the wind and pushed Noelle up against the door.

His lips then crashed upon hers and he could feel her fight it at first, but then slowly give in as he kissed her harder.

A knock at the door, startled them both and JC pulled back from Noelle. She quickly scurried away from the door and looked dazed. He saw the look in her eyes and he knew he was already getting to her just with his kiss.

The knock at the door was heard again and JC wiped his lips, ridding them of any lipstick that may have come off of Noelle's. Then he opened the door and put on a smile.

"Josh, you okay? Who was at the door? Are you going to come back to your own party?" Tyler spouted off.

JC rolled his eyes and looked back at Noelle for a moment. She was over by the window, looking out of it. She looked so good to him right now and he was pretty sure he didn't want to return downstairs to some drunken friends when he had her up in his bedroom.

"I'm perfectly fine, bro." He answered. "My special guest arrived and I think the real party is going to remain up here. Tell everyone goodnight and thanks for me. "

Tyler grinned at JC's response and he nodded his head, fully understanding. He was happy to hear that Noelle was there and JC was going to try and work things out....in his bedroom nonetheless.

"Alright. Well...good luck, birthday boy." Tyler patted JC's shoulder and then turned around, heading back to the stairs.

JC shut the door again and he saw that Noelle was still looking out the window. He slowly approached her and tapped her shoulder.

She turned and looked at him, her green eyes full of uncertainty. He could see the doubt and he wanted to make it go away.

"It's a good thing Tyler came by. That kiss needed to end." She spat out.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, fearing this wasn't going to end how he wanted.

"We can't be kissing, Josh. We're not together and we're not getting back together. We just can't be together."

He pulled her away from the window and lead her over to the bed. "Sit. Tell me exactly why we can't be together..again."

She watched him settle onto the bed first and then she slowly took a seat beside him. She looked at him and sighed.

" I've been seeing someone else for awhile, rather secretively and it's getting close to the point where he wants us to do People magazine and put our relationship out there."

His heart raced at the news she just gave him.

Shit, shit. She can't be in love with whomever this guy is...even if he's big enough to be on the cover of magazines still.

He rubbed his hand over his face and then looked carefully into her eyes, piercing them with his intense, blue eyes.

"Are you sure that's it? Do you even love this guy? ‘Cause I need the truth and nothing, but the truth from you. You have to be honest with me and with yourself, Noelle."

She remained silent for a moment and looked away from the intense gaze he gave her. She faced away from him as she found her voice.

"No...no...I don't love him. I mean I have feelings, but not deep enough to be true love. We met at an industry party and he was rather a charmer and all. Seeing how bad all the other girls wanted him, I knew I would be so lucky to date him. I think being with him just became a strategic move for me and not so much about just being happy with someone. You know how everyone knows everyone and it's all about making connections in this city."

Hallelujah. There's a chance after all. I can have her out of one relationship and back into another with me.

He thought to himself and absorbed the words she shared with him. He reached out and touched her chin with his fingers, forcing her to turn and look at him.

"If you don't love him, end it right now. I can't have you being unhappy and I can't have Noah being around someone you don't love. It's not worth it to pretend, just to get ahead in your career either. The Noelle I first met would've never even sunk that low."

She nodded her head slowly. "Mmm...but, why can't you have me unhappy?"

"Because....I still love you." He simply admitted.

She ignored his answer.

"Well maybe I've changed. Maybe I'm not the Noelle you first met and fell in love with. Maybe that's why we can't be together. I've turned into someone you can't respect anymore."

He sighed, sensing she was trying to derail his plan. He didn't want to hear anymore crap. He just wanted her to admit she loved him still and wanted to be with him.

"No, don't tell me that. We can be together. That kiss we just shared before Tyler interrupted, now that was a spine-tingling kiss. That was like a heated romance novel kiss. That's not just a kiss you walk away from."

She shook her head. "You're wrong. You're wrong, Josh."

"You know what's funny? You say we can't be together, but you haven't exactly said you don't love me anymore. So, maybe you really do still love me too and you're just as chicken as I was to admit it."

Before she could respond, he stood up and then pushed her back against the mattress. Then he climbed back onto the bed and hovered over her.

She looked up at him with surprise in her eyes and she tried to push him away with her hands. Yet, he gripped onto the bed tight enough that he wasn't moving.

"Come on. Don't be silly." She gave him a look.

"I'm not being silly. I'm being damn serious, Noelle. I still love you. You leave me with the memory that I still love you, every single time you drop off Noah."

He heard her gulp and knew his words were going to make her crumble. He wanted her walls to fall down and for her to just give into his love.

"Alright...so fine, maybe I've fibbed. Maybe I'm NOT dating anyone at all. Maybe I'm not saying I don't love you, because that would be a lie too." Her voice filled with grit, as if she was almost pained to admit it.

His lips mustered into a smile at the realization of what was going on here. She was being honest now and he was feeling good that they were now heading in the right direction.

"Noelle." He shook his head. "I can't believe you made up some lie about being in a relationship."

He finally settled his body upon hers, letting their bodies press up against one another's. He tenderly brushed a stray piece of hair off of her forehead. Then he pecked a kiss to her chin.

"If you still love me, just be honest. Don't give me anymore crap about fake relationships or reasons why we can't get back together. Just say you love me."

Her eyes closed in a flutter at his tender touch and the way he tried to talk to her calmly. She remained silent, in her own thoughts.

"I know deep down you're the same person, Noelle. If you weren't, you wouldn't be raising Noah so well. You wouldn't be allowing me to see him every other week. For some reason, you pushed me away though and you broke my heart." He sighed and continued.

"I haven't really seen anyone since you broke up with me and the couple girls I did see....could never even compare to you. I see you in my dreams and I see you in Noah too. I still even keep a photo of us in my nightstand so I can look at it when I have the urge to. It's been hard without you....because I sincerely, with all my heart, love you. Never stopped loving you."

He kissed her cheek and then he nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck. His hands slid down her sides and held onto her hips. He breathed in her classic scent, just feeling warmth and familiarity wash over him.

Two slender, feminine arms then wrapped around his back and squeezed him tight. She sighed and let herself relax under him, her defensives crumbling.

"I love you too. Every time I've dropped Noah off, I've been left with that same memory of still loving you. I just was chicken to ever have a real conversation with you or admit it to you, probably for the same reasons you couldn't admit your feelings until now either. I think I was fearful that you wouldn't want me back or didn't love me enough still." She let out a long, slow sigh.

"Plus I was the one that ended our relationship. I broke your heart and at the same time broke my own. I let Jive tear us apart. As soon as you left the label, I knew they wouldn't want me still dating you. I was scared they'd fire me. I dove head first into pleasing them and doing the best possible job I could. I let this whole Hollywood thing get to me and it really became clear to me tonight. There I was at this event filled with fake people and I was pretending to be fake just to fit in with them and so that Jive would still hand me over a paycheck. I was schmoozing with artists that don't even have an ounce of talent and that seemed fake themselves. While, the man I still loved was celebrating his birthday and having a genuine time with genuine friends."

Her eyes fluttered open and they were filled with tears. His eyes then met hers again and he formed a smile upon his luscious lips. He knew she was being herself now and that she was going to be his once more.

"I can't believe how stupid I was, Josh. I watched Jive treat you like crap, but I didn't say anything because I knew they'd accuse me of being biased. Then when you stood up for yourself and gave them a much needed goodbye, I just didn't have the guts to walk away too. I let them toss me around like a rag doll and make me their marketing slave. I really thought it would be beneficial to me in the long run, but I was sadly mistaken. I've been at the same position and been busting my ass off only to have no reward. I let myself become someone else and lost my lover and the privilege of raising our son together, under the same roof. It's just so twisted that the record label that brought us together, also helped tear us apart and caused both of us pain. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

He nodded his head and then brought his hands up to her face. He used the pads of his thumbs to wipe away the tears that had managed to fall and then he placed kisses just underneath her lower eyelids.

"It's okay...it's going to be okay. I know this was hard for you to admit, but I appreciate you finally admitting this and coming to terms with the truth. The truth can set you free now."

She mustered up a smile and the remorse and sadness that was in her eyes began fading away.

"I hope you're right. Just please don't resent me, Joshua." He shook his head.

"I could never. You have given me the gift of love and the gift of an angelic, little boy. We all make mistakes, honey. Myself definitely included. We just have to realize we're human and move on."

She rubbed his cheek in a gentle caress and sighed in relief. "So you love me unconditionally, huh?"

"Unconditionally." He firmly replied and then she let out a giggle.

"Good, because I love you unconditionally too. God...that feels so good to say." He grinned widely and then chuckled.

"I feel like we just said ‘I love you' for the very first time."

"Well in a way we did. It's been almost three years." She pointed out.

"Yeah..time does fly. "

"It certainly does...look at how big Noah is now. He's going to be four soon."

He pecked Noelle's lips. "That's right, but that gives us all the more reason to be together again, mami. We need to make up for lost time and raise him together, here on out."

She then sheepishly grinned and traced her thumb over his bottom lip. "We can do that. Ya know? I have to admit...that I watched every single episode of America's Best Dance Crew and all I could think to myself was how hot that one judge on the end is. That one that always gets booed, but always looks so sexy."

He blushed, but smiled happily. Knowing she had still kept tabs on him and paid attention to his career was heartwarming.

"Well, I think I might be able to set you up with him." She laughed.

"I'm laying beneath him right now."

He sighed contently. "You most certainly are."

She then reached out and grabbed JC's cheeks. She held his face in place and then kissed his lips. She kissed them gently and then smiled once more, staring into his eyes.

"And I also have to admit....every romance novel I've read, like the one I was reading earlier on the beach, has had a leading man with dark hair and blue eyes. I've always envisioned you as the ideal lover, Joshua Scott."

Aww...she pulled out the full name. She still does love me. I'll prove to her I am worthy of being the leading man in her real-life romance novel.

"You're so sweet. I've always known you were my ideal lover too, Noelle."

She kissed his lips again.

"So, does this mean, we're back together?" He nodded his head with nothing, but certainty.

"Definitely. I've been wishing you'd come back to me and now you're back. No ifs, ands, or buts about it."

"Good, because you're all that I need. You've given me a second chance and I'm not screwing that up, Josh. Tomorrow, I'm going to call Jive and tell them that I'm quitting. They couldn't see the beauty nor the talent in you and I'll gladly take in your beauty and listen to your talent every day from now on. I'm not going to be stupid anymore. I'm done caring what people think of me and you. I just want to be the old Noelle again. I'd rather sleep with a quote in quote has-been than be pretending to be someone I'm not."

"I'll be your has-been any day, sweet thang." He wiggled his eyebrows, playfully.

"You can be my now, my still current, sexy musician-slash-producer-slash-TV personality and whatever else you need a slash for."

He chuckled. " Slash lover. Always a lover, babe."

"I like the sound of that." She grinned and then looked back at his alarm clock. It was getting close to midnight now.

"I think I should spend the night." He grinned.

"I think you should too, but spend the night loving on me and holding me tight."

"Well.....alright. I can do that." She looked at the clock once more. "Just enough time left to give you a round of birthday sex before it's not the 8th anymore."

"Well it's a good thing we just made up and got back together then, huh?" He grinned. "So sweet thang. I still love you and want some birthday sex. You willing to help me out?"

She winked. "Oh, I'll help you out, old man."

"Hey!" She laughed.

"Just kidding, Josh. You're the hottest 34 year old to ever grace the planet. I'll gladly give you your birthday sex."

"Thank you, sugar. Thanks for making my birthday wish come true and for making this the best birthday ever." He said, sincerely and kissed her jaw.

"No problem, but I'm just glad you left me with the memory of our love, so I'd find my way back to you."

He smiled and then kissed her lips, letting his hands move to the hem of her shirt. He then began peeling it from her body, her arms raising to help him get it off all the way. The shirt was tossed to the floor and then he worked off her pants, tugging her jeans off of her long legs. Then she took her turn and peeled away JC's clothing as well and before they knew it, they were naked together once more, just like old times.

Kisses, touches, and caresses, mixed with moans, growls, and screams of delight. Their bodies pressed upon one another's and became tangled up, as they rediscovered each other and connected on such an intimate level. There was so much pleasure felt and a feeling of bliss was in the air and in their hearts. It was just like a novel, but better because they were giving there love story a happy ending...or rather a new beginning.

JC opened his eyes and a smug grin was on his face, having just had an amazing orgasm. He had Noelle back in his arms and she would be staying in his bed for good. He was more content than ever and was so thankful that his wish came true. He had his doubts, but life was always full of surprises.

He yawned and then hugged Noelle tight, as she lay under the sheets and in his warm embrace. He kissed her forehead and then caressed his nose against hers gently.

"I love you, Noelle. Rest up for another round."

She softly murmured. "Love you too. Happy Birthday, Josh."

He looked at his clock then and grinned widely.

11:59 PM

Just in the knick of time! Way to go, man. You got your birthday sex and you managed to get Noelle back.

He congratulated himself in his silent thoughts and then fell asleep against Noelle, tired and happy, but not upset about becoming older anymore. He would have this to wake up to and fall asleep to every night from now on.

Two months later......

"Daddy! Daddy!" Noah cried out as he zoomed into the kitchen, where JC was leaning against the counter, drinking some iced tea.

"What is it, buddy?" He asked with a grin, having a real good idea of what Noah wanted to share.

"My birthday today! I'm 4 years old." JC then set his glass down and knelt down to be at Noah's height.

He put his hand out and gave Noah a high five. "Cool, dude. You're a big, big boy now."

Noah chuckled. "Not as big as you though, daddy."

JC laughed and nodded his head. "That's true. You've got to wait a real long time to be this big, but you're still a big boy."

He then pulled his little big boy into his arms and gave him a hug, before pecking a kiss to his forehead. "I love you, Noah. I hope you have an awesome birthday."

Noah squeezed his daddy in return and grinned. "I'm having a party. We going to party, daddy."

"Oh we are?! Well then you better go upstairs and have mommy dress you up all nice. You have to party in style, little man."

JC shook his head in amusement then as he stood back up to his full height and he watched his son dash back out of the kitchen.

He knew that Noelle was still getting ready upstairs and would gladly help Noah get ready as well. He sighed contently to himself, thinking just how wonderful today would be and what a big difference this party was going to be, compared to the one he'd imagined in his head a couple months ago.

He had expected for it to be another birthday on a neutral ground, like a park or Chuck E Cheese's, where he and Noelle would show up separately and pretend to be alright around one another for the sake of their little boy turning a year older. He had predicted coming back home from the party without Noah and not having anyone around for company. He knew he would've been miserable thinking about how good Noelle had looked or how much he wanted her back and the three of them to just be a family.

Yet, a lot had changed in a short time and reality was so much sweeter. His birthday wish had come true and Noelle had placed her heart back into his hands. He'd given her his heart back as well and their love had come back full force. The couple they were before Noah was even born returned and it was almost as if they had never parted. All the love and chemistry was there and he felt like his heart was complete now.

Well almost....

He just had to ask one, little question.

He was planning to ask that one, little question on their son's birthday before the party started. He thought it was the perfect idea. That way everyone had something to truly celebrate and there was no sense wasting time, waiting any longer.

Noelle had moved into JC's house with Noah, a few days after JC's birthday, and they had been a family ever since. It was so domestic and conventional, as if the three of them had always been under the same roof as a complete family. He was grateful that there was no more passing off of their son and that they both got to spend a lot more time with him, not missing out on precious moments. He was grateful they were having a party for their son in their home.

He then smiled big, seeing Noelle enter the kitchen. She looked gorgeous and was wearing a cute, little sundress. Little being the keyword. He swore it just barely covered enough skin to not show off what he was working with in the bedroom.

"You know this is our son's 4th birthday, right?" He asked, with a smirk, as he stepped closer to her.

She chuckled. "You got a problem with this dress?"

"I don't, but I might have a problem with our party guests seeing you in it."

She chuckled again and then she wrapped her arms around his waist and smiled sweetly. She squeezed him tight and stared into his eyes. "Aww....come on. I'm wearing this for you. That way you can enjoy the view and all your friends see what a lucky bastard you are to have me."

He grinned and hugged her in return. "Mmm...well when you put it that way, I can't complain. You look smoking' hot, mami."

"Not so bad yourself, papi." She then dropped a kiss to his lips.

He gave her a kiss in return and grinned. "Noah all set for his party?"

"Yeah, he's dressed and practically jumping off the walls. He kept asking if Uncle Tyler was showing up."

JC laughed. "He would ask such thing. He's going to be real happy when he see's what Uncle Tyler has for him."

Noelle nodded. "It really is going to be a perfect gift."

"Yeah it is and I may just have a gift for you as well."

She looked at him, not sure why she would be getting a gift on Noah's birthday. "Now what could you possibly be giving me today? It's not my birthday."

He chuckled. "I know, but...it's just good timing in my mind."

"Okay...well what is it?"

"My heart." He simply replied.

"But I already have your heart, Joshua."

He grinned. "I know, but you don't have it completely one hundred percent yet, Noelle."

She looked at him perplexed, not sure where he was going with this. "What are you talking about?"

He shook his head and his eyes radiated with mischief. "Come on. Just follow me."

He took her hand and pulled her out of the kitchen and over into his office. He sat down into his chair behind the desk and then pulled Noelle into his lap. Hs hand then reached out to one of the drawers on the side of the desk and he slid it open.

Noelle looked on, curiously, waiting to see what he was going to pull out of the drawer. She watched his large hand dip into the drawer and fish around for a moment, before he pulled his hand back. She could tell he'd grabbed something, almost box-like, but wasn't entirely sure what it was.

"So, what did you just grab out of that drawer?" She asked, sweetly.

He bit on his bottom lip and then he let out a deep sigh. He put his hand in front of her and then opened it. A little, black ring box was revealed in the palm of his hand.

"Open it." He said, just barely above a whisper.

He watched her small hands shake a little and heard a gasp escape her lips. Once she managed to reveal the beautiful diamond ring, he heard her gasp once more.

"This is my gift?" She squeaked out. "An engagement ring?"

He nodded his head and gave her a smile. "Well yes, but...technically the gift is you having my heart, one hundred percent forever, and being my wife. The ring is just symbolizing you want to get married to me, sugar."

She grinned with her green eyes now tearing up. "Now I get it. Of course, I want your heart forever, all the way, babe. I want you."

He grinned wider. "So I'll take that as a ‘yes', but I should probably just ask formally."

He cleared his throat and stared up happily into her eyes and took her hand into his, squeezing it. " Noelle, you are everything to me. We have had some ups and down and we almost let each other get away, but thank god you came back to me. I know that we're truly meant for each other now. I know deep in my heart all I want is to spend the rest of my life with you and our son. I'm certain you're the only one who can be my wife. Will you marry me?"

Her eyes tired up even more and she nodded her head. "Yes. I'll marry you, Josh. That's all I've ever really wanted."

He took the ring out of the box and then slid it upon her finger. Then he hugged her tight and nuzzled his face into her neck. "Mmm...thank you, babe. I love you. We're getting married."

"Yes, we are." She held onto him and relished in the embrace and when she finally pulled back, she wiped her eyes and looked down at the beautiful ring on her finger.

"Wow...this ring is gorgeous." He watched it sparkle upon her finger and was so happy that he was the one who just put it on her finger.

"It's not as gorgeous as you." She blushed and chuckled.

"Sweet talker. Mmm...I think I want to put this back in the box and then wear it again after the party. I don't want to rain on Noah's parade and steal his birthday thunder."

He nodded, fully understanding. He didn't want to take away the attention from Noah either. All he wanted was to know he was going to marry his Noelle and now he could breathe easier in pure contentment.

He carefully slid the diamond ring off of her finger and then placed it back into the ring box. He put it right back in the drawer he'd retrieved it from then.
"This way no one else should come across it and you can get it back out yourself after they all go home."

She nodded and knew she'd be opening that drawer up and snatching the ring back once all their guests left after a joyous party.

The door bell rang then and JC grinned at Noelle. "That's got to be Tyler. You go answer it and I'll make Noah come down."

She pecked his lips, slid off is lap, and headed to the door to answer it. He headed upstairs to Noah's bedroom to retrieve the birthday boy.

Sure enough, the guest at the door was Tyler. Noelle had let him in and they were both smiling in the living room, when JC came downstairs with Noah in his arms.

"Uncle Tyler! You the first one here!" Noah practically leapt out of JC's arms and headed to his uncle.

All of them laughed and Tyler pulled Noah into a hug. "Hey, my little man. Of course, I'm here first. I'm the best. Uncle Tyler brought something amazing for you."

"A birthday gift for me!" He yelled in delight.

"That's right, Noah. Daddy and I went and picked out the best birthday present ever for you."

"What is it?!" He began jumping around, in excitement.

JC and Noelle both laughed at the excitement of their son and JC quickly went into the kitchen, grabbing the picture Noah had colored him for his birthday.

In the picture, there was JC, Noelle, Noah, and a puppy.

Tyler smiled, having not answered his nephew, and seeing JC come out with the colored picture. "Noah, look, daddy has your pretty picture."

JC held out the picture, so Noah could look at. "That's from the fridge, daddy. I colored it for you."

Noelle spoke up then. "But look at the picture, Noah. What did you color in it, that you don't have?"

The little boy thought is over for a moment. "Well....we have me....daddy....and mommy."

"That's right, bud." JC grinned. "But remember you drew this puppy?" He pointed the little dog out that was colored in brown crayon. "And daddy said he'd think about it for your birthday, since you didn't have a puppy yet?"

The light bulb then slowly turned on in Noah's head and he then began jumping around. "I remember now, daddy! I get a puppy?! Puppy!"

Tyler then confirmed it for the little boy. "Yes!" He clapped his hands. "Daddy and I picked you out a puppy. Happy Birthday!"

"I want puppy! Where is my puppy?!" He asked, unable to wait any longer.

Noelle grinned. "Uncle Tyler has him in the car. We wanted to give you the good news first. I'll go grab your puppy, baby boy."

She stepped out of the house and then opened the backseat of Tyler's car. She found the little puppy in a crate and carefully picked it up, so as not to jostle the little guy. Then she came back into the house and she released the puppy from the crate.

She held the little puppy in her arms and then knelt down, so that Noah could be acquainted with his new birthday puppy. "Look, isn't he adorable, Noah? This is your puppy. He's a chocolate Labrador and you can name him whatever you want."

Noah squealed and began petting his puppy . "I love him. Thank you! Thank you!"

"Your welcome, buddy." JC said as he then knelt down next to Noelle. Their little family of three now all in on the puppy action and petting their newest addition.

"I wanna hold him." Noah said a moment later and Noelle carefully passed the chocolate puppy off to the little boy.

"You be very careful with him. Don't drop him." She gently warned.

"He safe with me, mommy." Noah gave her a toothy grin and hugged his puppy. The little birthday boy got his wish and he was going to love that puppy like no other.

JC sighed contently and then wrapped his arms around Noelle. He dropped a kiss to the side of her face and smiled.

"Well...looks like the picture is complete now. You, me, Noah, and his puppy." She grinned back at him.

"Perfect. Just perfect, Josh."

She kissed his lips and he deepened the kiss, letting her know he thought they'd reached perfection as well.

None of them would ever forget Noah's 4th birthday.