Life on the road is not glamorous nor is it easy, for anyone. Listening to the fans, who have traveled from all over, screaming for everyone on stage to give a little more, is worth whatever challenges that are thrown into the pile.

Each person has a family somewhere, away from them. Everyone has left what they know back at a place they call home. The person who sets up the stage, the person running the lights or the person standing on stage playing an instrument every night may not be the same person that walks through the front door of their family home.

Different cities every day, different venues, different crowds make the ones that do surround each other a tight knit crew while away from their families. It was the only kind of normalcy a person can have on the road. Life becomes nothing but a routine; day after day it repeats itself in an endless cycle.

Being on the road nearly every day of the calendar year is hard on any type of relationship. The relationship you have with family and friends isn't the same anymore, and love well; love itself is a challenge. So the best kind of relationship to have is not having one at all. Don't involve the matter of the heart because anything can happen at the drop of a hat, causing it to shatter. Even when you least suspect it.

Justin's life was out there for the world to know. Everything about his life is public knowledge, regardless if he wanted the world to know or not. His love life, sticky at times, has always been consistent. He was a relationship guy and has spent ninety percent of his adult life, after the needs of someone else. As much as he enjoyed being in a relationship, he didn't enjoy the broken heart it always turned out to be.  He was ready to simply live life for him, for the first time in thirty years.

His career stood strong, even with pressure on him to release something as great as his last album. The stress he put himself through affected him personally and professionally. The more the label pressed the more he didn't want to do it. He needed to create music when he was ready to do so. It just so happened, when he finally ended his relationship, the words flowed out onto sheets of paper like they never had before. He had taken the emotion filled lyrics, the heartache from his first album and the production skills of the second and made an album even he was proud of.

Finding the ‘one' has never been a priority for Jill. Been there done that, she didn't need to go through all that heartache again. She saw the pain and anguish others went through in relationships and never understood why anyone would voluntarily do that over and over again. One heartbreak was enough for her to go through in her lifetime.

She put her focus into her dancing; only allowing the men in her life on a temporary basis, and only to benefit her. She wasn't a cold hearted person but she was also not someone that would fall to pieces because of a guy. Having success in the one thing she always dreamed of having the chance to do was her highest achievement in life or at least that's what she thought. Until recently the only thing she has ever wanted to do was dance, but that changed along with a few other things.

Somewhere in the middle of this calendar year, the daily routine changed for the both of them. What started on a hot August night during a dance routine they had done countless times before on that stage, everything they both knew had been changed forever.

Just like any other show night, the daily routine hadn't changed. As they both stood in their position ready to start the show, Justin threw a wink at Jill and asked, "You ready?"

Popping her hip into his, Jill fired back with, "I'm always ready."

Their stage show had to be perfection and comfortable with one another. Playful flirtation with one another was nothing new. His shows were always sexual and this show was no different.

Getting to know Justin was difficult for Jill. She didn't bring to many people into her world and he was just as closed off now. Minor things you pick up from someone's everyday pattern were about the only thing they knew about it each other.

He didn't need to know that she didn't trust anyone, and she didn't need to know that he also didn't trust anyone.

Justin took his place in the center of the stage, bright white spotlight glaring down on him. He began singing the same line he did every night, perching the same grin on his face he always did.

Jill comes from the east side of the stage, teasing him with her hands slowly glided down his body. Turning to see the crowd watching their every move she swayed her hips from side to side, giving the illusion of her dancing around him for his enjoyment. Justin placed his hands around her waist, pulling her into him. She twists out of his grip and regains control as she pushes him into a chair, pinning his hands down. She threw her legs around his lap, shifting her attention back to him she climbed into his lap, grinding her hips down into his groin. She could see the enjoyment as it washed over his face. She pops up from where she was sitting on his lap and spins around in front of him, the crowd seemed to watched their every interaction. She turns back around to face him, he stands kicking the chair from beneath him. She places her hand over the side of his face, watching his eyes lusting back at hers. It was something she had done night after night in the very same position on the stage every show. But as she ran her hands down his chest, her hips thrusted into his a different way this time. Her hips took a slow and sensual jolt into his groin. This was her job; she was used to being in this compromising position with him. It had never made the throbbing in her center almost unbearable. She tried to ignore it, continuing with the routine her hand glided down over his belt buckle, feeling every chiseled groove of his body. Her every touch wasn't a dance step this time, it was sexual. Justin was feeling the same way by the excitement arising under his tan slacks. Following down his leg before gripping tighter as she followed her pattern back up his body, she placed her hand over his excitement, attempting to disengage what she had done, but that made it worse for him.

Sweat residue covered his face, complete lust in both their eyes. He threw back his head; his eyes fluttered making the hair on her entire body stand straight up. He stood still for a moment, just looking at her and what she had done to him. He changes the routine by pulling her into him, using her body to cover his excitement. He wrapped his long fingers along her jawline pulling her face into his, a moment in the show when they are supposed to tease one another, never actually touching. But this time their lips touched, sending shockwaves through both of their bodies. They let themselves go in deeper; savoring that moment she opened her mouth and gave him full access. He didn't let that chance go. He went in for the kill taking his time kissing her lightly before he glided his tongue into her mouth, massaging her tongue with his.

The band continued to play a slightly different version of the song that normally moves on after their flirtation. Jill noticed the music was different and she pulled back slowly. Cocking her head to the side, she threw him a smirk, popping her hip and walking away from him.

On the side of the stage, she attempts to collect her thoughts but she didn't have time, they were pulling her in to change her clothes. She was thankful for that considering her panties needed to be changed after that little scene on the stage.

"Girl that was hot." Mika says as he runs past her to get in his mark.

As much as she would like to forget the events of the night she couldn't stop thinking about them as she stared at the ceiling in her hotel room. Her normal roommate, Tina, was spending the night at her parent's house. She was excited to spend some time with them while we were in town before we left in the morning for the next city.

She wished she would have taken up Mika's offer and joined them for a night out, dancing, and drinking an obscene amount of alcohol. Maybe it was a good thing she didn't go, the mood she was in, she would have brought someone back to this empty hotel room.

Her phone beeped on the side table. As she reached over to pick it up she drops the phone to the floor. She flips over on the bed, leaning down to pick it up, she snaps her hand back as she sees the words on the screen.

"We need to talk."

            Justin. She suddenly felt the need to throw up. Justin sees everything on stage. Justin hears everything. It was the perfectionist part of him that he couldn't control. He would know when Charlie made a minor mistake on a chord, when Tina moved slightly left of where her mark was. He picked up on those things and remembered them forever. His words in that simple text message could mean the end of her run on his tour. She screwed up; she shouldn't have let it go as far as she did, on the stage for everyone to see.

            Pressing the keys slowly she replied, "When?" Laying the phone on her stomach she stretched out over the bed.

The phone vibrated off her rib bone, he quickly responded, "Is now ok?"

She thought, might as well get this all over with, and replied, "Sure."

"817" he replied.

            Fuck, was the only word that was running through her head. Over and over again, she replayed the kiss in her head. She couldn't understand the reasoning behind her actions. As she stepped on the elevator she notices her reflection in the doors. She couldn't have picked a better day to be in a pair of sweats, a tank top, no makeup, and on her way to see her boss. She fidgeted with her naturally curly hair she had done nothing with after getting out of the shower, she felt like she was a complete mess.

            The elevator beeps and the doors slide open to his floor. Hesitating for a moment she thinks, screw it; it will all be over in a couple minutes anyways, finally she steps off and starts the walk down the long dreaded hallway.

The numbers 817 were engraved into the metal plate on the suite's door. She knocked softly, the door opened quickly. She expected to see management, public relations, someone other than just him, still in the clothes he left the arena in.

He looked drop dead gorgeous in sweatpants that hung very low off his waist. Exposing the lower part of his abdomen...

She wanted to smack herself, but that may draw more attention than she probably should. She needed to contain herself and not think about her boss that way. She was glad he couldn't hear her thoughts because it was something she shouldn't be thinking. He was her boss. He had the power of taking away everything. "Can I come in?" she asked, not really knowing what to do or even say.

He looked at her in a way he had looked at her so many times before, but in some way it was different this time. He couldn't get the idea and the thoughts of wanting to have her lips on his again. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and do all the things that have been running through his head all night. He smiled, "Of course... I'm sorry. That was rude of me." He wasn't trying to not talk to her or be rude but he couldn't stop staring at her.

She slide past him and entered his grand hotel suite. It surprised her how much space was in these rooms that he probably would never need nor would he use. Instead of beating around the bush she just threw out an apology. "Justin, I know that I crossed a line and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have -"

He placed his finger over her mouth. "I think we crossed that line together. But no apologies are needed..."

"I... I..."

"-Jill It's fine." He planted an enormous smile on his face.

She dropped her head and mumbled, "I thought I was being fired."

"You are an incredible dancer, I would never fire you." He took a step closer to her.

"Then what do we need to talk about?" She was confused.

He stepped closer to her, breathing in the cucumber and green tea scent of her freshly washed hair. She could feel the sensation that she felt early come back within an instance of him being inches away from her. "That kiss..." he whispers seductively into her ear, his warm breath bounced off of her chilled skin. The stubbles of his beard scratched her cheek as his nose grazed her soft skin. She wasn't waiting for the invitation, she wanted that feeling again. She planted her lips onto his. She wanted him to overtake her every thought and he did just that. His lips were perfectly smooth just as she thought they were earlier, she nips at the bottom of his lip, taking it in between her teeth, teasing him just a little. His hands stayed wrapped around her face keeping her as close as he could keep her. His hands went from the sides of her face to the small of her back, easing his hands under the soft cotton of her tank top, arching her body into his. He pulled his lips away from hers only to get the approval of what he wanted to continue to do.

            She didn't want him to stop, "You can't turn me off... once you've turn me on."

He dropped his head laughing, "Using my own words against I see. What am I going to do about that?"

She rolled her fingers under the hem of her tank top, lifting it up over her head, tossing it across the room. Dropping her sweats to the floor she reveals only a pair of sheer boyshorts. She sways her hips back and forth, "I've misbehaved... Punish me."

She was being far more than forward, and he liked it. His eyes fluttered causing the instant reaction of lunging towards her. She tore at his tee and ripped it over his head. She reached for his drawstring, releasing the only hold that was keeping her from getting what she wanted.

"Free ballin'... I like that, gives me instant access." Her hand instantly glided over his member which stood upright and ready. Holy fuck, she thought to herself. Her hands ran up his abdomen and around his back taking her hands and gripping them over his ass. "Show me what cha got Timberlake..."

He attaches his lips to hers again, he wanting to know every curve of her mouth. He wanted to study every inch of her. "I didn't know you were so dirty in the bedroom..."

She stops just short of the bed, planting a smirk on her face, "There's a lot you don't know about me..."

He pushed her on the bed, climbing to tower over her tiny frame, gripping his large hands over her firm breasts, "Let's start with, how do ya like it?"

Jill cocked her head to the side with the evilest grin on her face. "Without the panties preferably..."

            He grabbed them with his teeth, shredding them with his force, inching them down over her hips and off her perfectly sun kissed legs, returning his mouth to the lips he has been craving all day.  His hand went straight between her legs, using all the strength he had in him to stick to his long drawn out plan. He wanted to savor every moment of this but he wanted to be inside of her. By the looks of things, he wasn't going to have to do much to send her over the edge. She was dripping wet, her center was already pulsating at a rapid pace and he had only just begun a circular motion around her clit.

She grunted out in pleasure as she felt the pressure of his fingers going at an alarming rate, "Jussstttin..." she exhaled moaning his name.

"Yeah, baby... tell me you like it. Tell me..." He entered his fingers deeper, moving them in the perfect location to set her off even more.

She lifted her head, "As amazing... as that feels right now..." She threw her head back in pleasure, almost second guessing what she was going to originally say. "I want you to fuck me. I want your cock in my dripping wet center, throbbing just waiting-"

She didn't have to say anymore, he was up quicker than humanly possible and her legs were thrown over his shoulders and he was inserting his rock hard cock into her. She arched her back as she adjusts to him being inside of her. He gripped his hands on the mattress, pushing as far as he could into her. He wanted her to feel every inch of him that she could. "My god..." she says watching the smirk on Justin's face grow. He started to rock forcefully in a motion he could see was doing exactly what he wanted to be doing to her.

            Both their bodies were covered in sweat and eventually worn out by the hours they had spent making the other come to their scenes. "You are...ugh." He groaned, throwing his body down on the bed. "Your body..." his words couldn't make a sentence. "...incredible."

"There's a way we could do this more often." She suggested as she climbed off the bed.

It was hard for him to not stare at her naked body standing in front of him. He favored those hips on her long slender legs. He trailed out of his thoughts asking, "Friends... with benefits?"

She pulled her pants up over her hips, tying the drawstring, a smirk of enjoyment waved across her face, "It could work for us..."

"You've done this a time or two?" Justin asked surprised.

She cocked her head sideways, "You're trying to tell me, in all the years you have been on the road, this is the first time it's been an option for you?"

"Well..." he admitted.

"Exactly." She said "It's always served me well. It's the perfect situation for people like you and I on the road all the time. I just ask one thing..." she trailed off.

"Secrecy?" he asked.

She could care less about that, but she knew it was a must with him. "Don't screw with the matters of the heart."

With a surprised look on his face, he perches his lips and states, "Get mine. Get yours."

She nodded her head agreeing with him. "Then get out."

He watched as she tossed her panties into to the waste basket and reached for the door handle, "I suddenly feel used."

"Benefits. Nothing else." She opened the door stepping in the hallway.

"What about the friends' part?" He yelled across the room.

"You owe me a pair of panties." She says shutting the door behind her.

Friends with benefits. It's all about the benefit, right?

It had been months since their arrangement had been put in place, it had to have been in the hundreds of times they have benefited on their friendship and as Jill shuts the hotel door behind her, she still gets that crazy energy from the high she receives from him. Maybe it was the secrecy of their rendezvous that made the rush even more intensified. Maybe it was that he didn't care where they were, he was always ready and willing. That was a plus for her. She didn't want someone stuffy in her life that was only opened to making love. As great as that sounds, it's not that great. Sensual sex can be great for some people, but she can't remember the last time or if ever she had really ‘made love' to someone.

Neither Justin nor Jill let their arrangement affect their jobs. They knew at the end of the day, they had responsibilities they had to keep in check. The stage show remained just that. The kiss seemed to be heard around the world per say in this business. It was something Jill thought she would get a lot of backlash from, but the fans enjoyed it. Each night was a tossup which interaction the crowd would get.

As far as they were aware of, not a single person knew they saw each other away from the stage. Their rendezvous were usually dependent on what was going on and where they were. Many nights clothes were being ripped off and jumping into the shower together just as the show finished. It was a chance they were willing to take, simply because they couldn't wait anymore. Jill was well known to sneak into Justin's hotel room in the middle of the night and sneak back out. There were times they thought they had been caught, and times they should have been caught.

Neither had anyone to answer to, they had been single for quite some time but it was the idea that he was her boss and he was favoring her. Well, he was, just in private or sometimes not so private settings.

Justin jumped into the shower alone, for the second time of the day. The steaming hot water could wash away the sweat residue, some of her scent, and even her juices that covered his body but it could do nothing for his thoughts that he couldn't erase. The water couldn't wash away the memories of her touch, the softness of her lips, or image that was burned into his mind of her deep honey brown eyes staring back at him. He worried he was in over his head with this situation. The ‘what if' game has been playing in his head for days, he couldn't stop thinking about her. A part of him believed that it was the incredible sex he couldn't get enough of but the other part of him was worried he was involving his heart. It was their only rule and he was breaking it just by thinking this was something other than sex.

They had started seeing each other at the very least once a day, but on most days they would meet several times a day. He craved the idea of being inside of her or having his tongue in places that sent her over the edge. She had to be the strongest willed person he had ever met. He had asked her countless times for her to spend the night with him. He wanted to hold on to someone through the night, he wanted to feel the embrace of her skin as he woke up in the morning sunshine. But she never spent the night. It was a shock to see her stick around after they were finished at all, let alone the entire night.

            The tour was winding down and Justin didn't want to face the end. He knew there was more than just the end of a tour nearing. Never had he wanted to remain on the road more in this life. The days came and gone faster than he thought possible.

Words, ideas, scenarios and a crazy arrangement had his mind scattered and he couldn't sleep. He climbed out of bed and got lost in the view overlooking the city of Chicago. He missed coming here spur of the moment just to take in the city. He missed this part of who he used to be. In the short periods of time in his life when he was single, he would drop and run to places without thinking about it. But this is the first time he has done it in a very long time. After Jill left yesterday he jumped on a plane and got away. It was the next city on the tour anyways, he needed some clarity.

He had missed several calls from Trace, Johnny, and a few others he chose not to even give a second thought to. He didn't really want to talk to anyone. He wanted to disappear from the world. Against his own judgment he picked up the phone and dialed the phone number of his best friend. "Hey Trace, it's me."

"Where the hell are you man?" He started to yell through the phone, "I'm at the hotel in Toronto... we were supposed to meet this morning."

Fuck, Justin whispered to himself, running his hands over his stressed face. "I forgot man. I'm sorry."

"You don't forget things." Trace stated, thinking it was the oddest thing his friend could say to him, "You are the most anal person I know about schedules. Is everything ok with you?" he questioned.

Justin couldn't believe he had forgotten. That meeting had planned that for weeks. He knew that the William Rast things needed done. He felt bad that he was selfish and jumped on that plane without thinking about his schedule. "Just needed to get away from everything regarding the tour for a minute and take a breather. I got on a plane last night... I ended up in Chicago."

Trace kicked the concrete, nearly kicking the people walking by him. He knew what Chicago meant. "Do you want me to meet you there? I can be there in a couple hours."

Trace's tone made Justin very aware that he could tell something was going on and Justin wasn't talking. He lowered his head, knowing his friend was now worried. "I appreciate it. I think I need to be alone for a little while."

"Are you sure everything's okay?" He asked again, pacing around the entrance to the hotel. "I know what Chicago is code for, anything you want to talk about?"

Justin looked at the city below him; the beauty in this city was remarkable. "I will be fine. I feel bad for you traveling all the way to Toronto though. I will pay for that flight."

"I'm not worried about the money, I'm worried about you."

"I will fly to L.A or NYC next week, wherever you are and we will finish the stuff for William Rast." Justin was being short with him now. Justin knew that Trace knew him better than he knew himself on most days. As much as Trace tried to get out of him what was wrong, Justin couldn't answer those questions, he wasn't even sure what was wrong with him.

After his conversation with Trace, he knew he had to get out of that hotel room. He pulled a baseball cap over his head, tied his running shoes and took on the streets of Chicago. Running from block to block, street to street but nothing was helping. His every last desire was to be near her. She was like his drug that he couldn't kick. Worst of all, it was a drug he couldn't have.

            Jill stepped out the sliding glass doors, raising her hand to hail a cab. She wasn't sure why, but she had to get out of the day to day life she was living. A break would be a great thing and it would help her balance life and look at things from a different perspective. A perspective without anyone standing around her, no one to take her mind off of the things she needed to focus on, no interferences. Jobs were flowing in faster than she could even read through them. She had never been so in demand than she was right now. Justin had given her the biggest opportunity she could have ever asked for. Things were different for her than they were just last year. She knew that she had worked her ass off to get where she is today and it had all came with a price. But now, she had a choice to make.

            Her bag with only a change of clothes, a stick of deodorant, and her toothbrush hung off her shoulder as she walked the streets looking for a specific place she had to go. It was her favorite place when she was in town.

            The red and white checkerboard table covers was always the sure sign I was in the right place. The aroma of yeast and flour baking made her stomach growl in anticipation.

She took a seat next to the window, watching as everyone walked by. A young married couple was on the sidewalk with their tiny baby. They looked so happy and in love, that perfect over the moon kind of happiness that is only seen in movies. She watched as the father took the hands of the little girl and helped her walk. The waiter introduced himself, she ordered, and then he was gone again as her focus went back to the couple on the street. It was the cutest thing watching a father so into that part of a child's life.

            Without noticing what she was doing, she picked up the phone and pressed speed dial number four. The phone rang and just as she was hitting the end button, an out of breathe Justin picked up, "He-llo." He exhaled deep short breathes.

            She gripped her stomach as it turned into knots thinking something was wrong with him. "Are you alright?"

Justin found himself slowing his pace, "Yea, I'm good." He said breathlessly. "Running."

"Ohh..." She let go of the hold she had on her stomach, it was a relief. "Well... I will just... I'll call you later."

"Its fine, I'm done now. I think six miles is enough for today..."

"I think you need to run a couple more." She laughed for the first time since arriving in town. "I don't want to bother you. Call me later when you're not busy."

"Jillian." He said in an aggressive tone she has only heard from him when he had her hoisted in a position and demanding her to come. "What's up, I'm listening."

"I... I..." She sat up straighter in her chair. "I don't know why I called actually. Maybe it's just a habit, something I need to break."

"I needed to call you anyways." The line got quiet on both ends, eerie quiet. "I need to cancel our plans today." The line was quiet again. "You still there?"

"Yes, I'm here." Her gut feeling was that she was hearing the conversation that was going to end things. This was the first of many cancellations. They didn't normally make plans, things just happened. "I needed to cancel today as well."

The server comes over, "Your stuffed pizza with classic pepperoni, enjoy!"

            The silence between them was something new. They never needed a reason to pick up the phone and call one another. They always had something to talk about. Justin finally broke the silence, "Can I call you back?"

"Yeah. Sure." The line went dead and she saw the blank screen staring back at her. Confused by his rush to get off the phone, she placed the phone on the table. She couldn't stop looking at it. As if it was going to spit out the answers she needed. She sat with her fork in hand, pulling at the cheese that oozed out of the crust and couldn't bear to actually eat the food.

"That's the best pizza in Chicago or dare I say in the country and your picking at it."

Jill snapped her head up at the very familiar voice. Justin. The light inside of her clicked on. "Justin? What are you doing in Chicago?"

"Obviously the same reason you are." he sat down across from her placing his hands on his lap, fidgeting with them before placing them on the table.

She smiled at him, taking in the gorgeous blue eyes that sat in front of her. "Sometimes, I just need a breather and Chicago does that for me."

Justin shook his head at her admission. They had both needed to get away. They had both ended up in Chicago. What were the odds of that happening?

"You want some?" she offered.

The smile on his face brightens the dim face he had been. The both were thinking the same thing, but decided not to act upon it, just yet... "Do you mind?"

"I'll share with you..." Jill waved down the waitress and asked for a second plate and extra place setting.

            They talked for hours about anything. All those random things you ever wanted to know about someone. Maybe against their better judgment they ended up back at Justin's hotel suite continuing their conversation. It was the breath of fresh air they both needed so badly.

            The movie they put on was noise in the background. They were more interested in what each other had to say. Justin leaned against the arm of the couch, allowing a perfect place for her to sit. Climbing into his lap, she digs her knees into the material of the couch. Finding a comfortable spot she looks relaxed. "What's something random I don't know about you?

He chuckled taking his pointer finger and thumb, rubbing them on his chin. "I speak in lyrics sometimes. It's how my crazy mind works."

She bursts into laughter. "Sorry... I'm not making fun of you."

"Sure you aren't." He tries pushing her off him, playing with her and her comments. "Get off my dick then."

"No way, I like it here... She adjusts herself back on top of him, wiggling on his groin. "Seriously, I thought I was the only one that did that. I catch myself doing it all the time. I quote movie lines as well." Jill was full of questions; she fired immediately the next question at him. "What's something you want that you can't buy? Excluding the love crap."

"Aren't you just a hopeless romantic?" he laughed rolling his eyes at her lack of interest in love. He had her hands intertwining them with his, "I have written many songs about my relationships, my heartbreak, and even a version of my happiness but I would love for someone to write a song for me, about me, completely with me in mind. And hopefully it would be a happy love song."

"Awe." He leaned down, placing a kiss on the tip of his nose, "You need to find yourself a songwriter then."

Justin's demeanor on his face changed. "Why don't you let anyone close to your heart?"

She looked away from him, contemplating answering the question at all. She still couldn't look at him when the words did flow out. "It opens the option for someone to hurt me."

He maneuvers their bodies to lay flat on the couch as he climbs on top of her, pinning her down. Caressing the side of her face with his thumbs he asks, "Who broke you?"

Jill closed her eyes, not wanting to think about the past at all. She wanted to focus on the right now. She opened her eyes, pulling his face down to hers. "Kiss me."

He shook his head no, but he wasn't going anywhere, she had a death grip on his face. Instead of waiting for him she took full advantage, taking his mind off of the questions he wanted to ask and making him quite aware of why she was there in the first place.

"Stay with me. Stay the night." Justin asks in an almost beg. She couldn't for some reason say no, but she couldn't say yes either. His arms gripped around her, pulling her as close as he could get her, resting his chin on her shoulder; he breathes in the normalcy he craved and she found a level of comfort in his arms.

Jill had fallen asleep on that couch with Justin. As she slowly opens her eyes she gets to see him in a way she has never seen him before. The beauty in his face as his head rests on the pillow. The peace that resided in the face of a man that never seemed to have a moment's peace. She climbed off the couch slowly, trying to not wake him.  She stood on her feet for a minute, attempting to get the blood to flow correctly in her legs. She threw on his t-shirt and her jeans and slide out of the hotel room without waking him.

Life takes you on courses that sometimes you never think you will take. Sometimes life takes you on courses you don't want anywhere near but those challenges, choices, consequences, and arrangements change the course of who you become as a person. Each question answered, each step you have taken, made you the person you are right now.

As much as Justin didn't want the tour to end, he was ready to be off the road and living somewhat of a normal, sleep in his own bed kind of daily routine instead a different hotel, in a different city, or that damn bed on the bus kind of days.

He fought back any of his thoughts for Jill. He wouldn't go back on his word. He made an agreement with her and he was going to stick to it. He was going to miss seeing her smile, the one where she thought no one was watching. That smile seemed to always make his day complete. He was going to miss the scent of cucumbers on his sheet and on his skin. That scent seemed to linger on his body no matter how many times he showered. It became a part of who he was and he liked it breathing in her scent even when she wasn't around.

He thought about her more and more each day. More than he should probably let himself but he couldn't help but wonder what she was doing if she wasn't at the arena, or on stage. He wanted to know how she was going to spend her time off before starting the world tour. Could it be possible that he would still see her? Would it be like any other day and they would meet somewhere? He couldn't ask her those questions, he didn't know if he could handle the answer she would give him.

As his flight entered LAX his palms started to sweat. Trace hounded him for weeks about the Chicago trip. He wanted to know what happened that made him need to get away. If he only knew the very person he was running from, was precisely the person he spent the trip with.

            Being stressed out always made Jill a complete mess and she was stressed to the max. She entered the posh office complex, pressing the button to the floor, and sat in Lauren's Los Angeles office, tapping her foot off the side of the table. She couldn't think about the choices anymore, she just wanted the contracts in front of her, and she wanted the decision to be over with. Dwelling over this choice wasn't something she thought she would be faced it. It was her dream. Her dream had been placed in her lap, what was stopping her from just making that choice to take it on?

            With pen in hand and two separate contracts in front of her she looked down at the packets one more time. Her decision was made. She pushed one contract out of the way and pulled the other closer to sign her name on the dotted line.

"Are you sure?" Her manager asked.

Jill sighed, "One is the dream and one is reality."

"Your dream is reality in the palm of your hands. Either choice is a great one, just in different directions." Lauren smiled proud to be her manager.

Jill signed her name, and stood to walk out of the room. She should've been happy; the option she wanted to choose wasn't really an option anymore. Lauren knew something was wrong but chose not to judge the decision she made.

The next morning...

            This was it. With success, comes change. The end has to come before a new beginning can start. Both of their lives were taking a drastic turn and it was bigger than they thought possible. With a heavy heart and an empty admission she joined Justin for their nightly visit which ended with her in his bed, in his house, and the sun was coming up over the mountains behind them. She had done the unthinkable, again. She spent the night with him, again. It was her rule; it wasn't something they agreed upon. In her crazy thought process she convinced herself over the years that if she spent the night, it was something more. Spending the night was too personal.

            She pretended she was asleep when he kissed her on the forehead and climbed out of bed. As she heard his footsteps across the marble floor of the bathroom, out of the bedroom, and he knees cracking as he went down the staircase she sat up covering her face, embarrassed by her choices. How could she let herself make this choice?

            Walking through the room she tries to find her clothes but all she found is what looks like Justin's robe on the bathroom door. It was almost as he had never used it before. She put it on covering her skin but the tie was missing so the robe flew free. It wasn't like he hasn't seen every inch of her body anyway. Across the room she sees her panties and maybe her jeans under the bed. She bent down to pick them up, they were wedged under the bed. "Hey" she heard a man's voice from behind her say.

Turning to stand she sees someone that isn't Justin standing the bedroom with a robe that was not cooperating with the fact that she had no clothes on.

"Oh..." Trace stood in the doorway staring at her. "You're not Justin..."

"Excuse me..." She said closing the robe again, holding it with her hands.

"Jill?" he questioned.

She fired back quickly. "Did you need something Trace?"

The light bulb had been turned on. He had figured out what Justin's issue had been that day weeks ago. What made him forget meetings, what caused him to be a mess... "Chicago." He mumbled shaking his head. "I didn't think this was the person you were..." His demeanor changed, he was angry. "Justin just got happy again, he just found himself again... things were falling back into place... I want him back... I want him happy..." He turned quickly and rushed down the stairs.

She wasn't sure how he knew about Chicago, but he clearly knew something. His words hurt. She wasn't in Justin's life to hurt him. It was exactly the way to start the day that would change her life.

            Finding pieces of clothing scattered, she started to assemble them back where they belonged. At the bottom of the staircase she found her canvas tennis shoes where she had kicked them off last night. She was only steps away from the door and was ready to bolt out of there before Justin even saw her.

"I'm in here" Justin yelled down the hall, peaking around the corner from the kitchen, "Coffee's ready."

Too late.

She enters the kitchen slowly. He hands her a cup of piping hot coffee and little pink bag. "What's this...?" Jill asked, admittedly a little scared.

"Open it." He said motioning for her to sit at the island across from him. By his mood, Jill assumed that Trace didn't even tell him he stopped by. She just wanted to leave before she hurled everywhere and had to clean that mess up. "What's wrong?" He asked, reaching across placing his hand over hers.

"So much." She chuckled.

"Anything you wanna talk about?" he intertwined their fingers. She watched as his grip got tighter around her hand. They were relaxed and perfectly comfortable where they were. He knew she wouldn't talk about anything, it was her nature. "Are you going to open you present?" She had forgotten about the bag completely. She released her hand from his, feeling suddenly like she had pulled away from her world. Her hand was empty. Tossing the black tissue paper across the island, her stomach hit the floor when she saw what was on the bottom of that bag. "Only right that I repay my damages." He says with an enormous smile on his face.

            Black. Lace. Panties.

He climbed off his chair and over to stand in front of her. Pulling them out of the bag, he dangles them on his pointer finger, "Wear these during the show, so I have a visual the entire night of what is waiting for me underneath." He seductively spoke into her ear, "Get them wet during the show so I could punish you for ruining them."

Jill's eyes fluttered, as her center pulsated at his words. Every fiber of her wanted to fall into him. But she couldn't do that. "I just... I need to go."

He looked confused and hurt at the same time. "Jill?"

She needed to get out of that house fast. Nudging him out of the way, grabbing her handbag she made it out the front door and into the seat in her car.

Hours later...

            Justin trekked through the venue the entire day trying to find her. She was nowhere to be found and she wasn't answering her phone. He couldn't ask too many questions about her, it would draw too much attention. She didn't show up for soundcheck and that was the time of day he was sure to see her because they had met up every show after soundcheck and she would wear him out a little before he got ready for the show. Instead of a hard on and pure pleasure, he had a migraine and terrified he would never see her again.

It was just over an hour before the show and he has yet to see her. Tina hadn't seen her since earlier in the day when she collected her things off the bus. He knew she would show up, or at least that's what he kept saying to himself.

Having the final show of the tour in Los Angeles means, ‘friends' showing up to support the tour, even though technically it's over. He was happy to see familiar faces but he wasn't so happy to see some faces of his past.  Smiling and playing as if nothing was wrong he was Mr. Nice Guy with everyone around him. His mind was in a hundred different places, not actually listening to anything anyone had to say.

Jill walked through the back entrance of Staples Center with the weight of the world on her shoulders. She had no idea why this decision was so incredibly hard to face. Slipping into her dressing room without anyone seeing her was the goal and she succeeded. She wanted to see Justin; she wanted to tell him her decision before someone else did but it would be better this way. She had to get through this show and then she would tell him. Tell him everything.

"JILL!" a high pitched version of Tina's voice echoed through the room causing her to jump out of her skin.

She placed her hand over her heart. "You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to do that." Tina pulls up her boots covering most of her legs, she stands popping her hand on her hip. "But Justin has been pacing around this place all day looking for you. What kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into that is causing Justin himself to go looking for you?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "You never know what's up his ass."

She shook her head, "I swear it was as if... forget it... that's crazy."

"What?" Jill asked curious now.

She looked around at the door to make sure it was still closed, "It looked like he was the worried boyfriend who had just fucked up and was trying to apologize."

Jill sat quietly putting on her stockings and pulling up her skirt.

"Jill?" She asked. "Anyone you care to share with me?"

She fastened her bra, pulled her top over her head adjusting it. "It's nothing... a lot is going to change after this show."

Forty-five minutes to show. The PA assistant bellows down the hallway interrupting their conversation. It couldn't have come at a better time.

She zipped up the back of her ankle boots, It was now or never, she thought. It couldn't wait until after the show. She had to do it now, so she could actually do the show. Getting the nerve from somewhere she headed towards his dressing room. Just outside of the door she hears a woman laughing from inside his room. It didn't sound like Rachel, his mother, or anyone she had heard laughing before.

Standing outside of his door, Jill sees Justin's ex-girlfriend standing in his lounge area, smiling, laughing and joking with him as he stretched his legs.

He was happy.

Feeling her stomach and her throat hit the floor, she turned quickly, running right smack into Trace. Backing up she saw the anger he had his eyes for her. "How long have they...?" she asked.

He shook his head in confusion, "I don't know. They have been on and off for so long it's hard to tell."

I didn't know this was the person you were.

Trace's words from earlier that morning fluttered through her brain. He thought she was the other woman. Her voice began to quiver more with every word. "Trace, I didn't know he was with her...I didn't."

He could see the pain in her eyes, and she saw the truth in his. "You can't it back now."

She started to ramble out loud through her jumbled thoughts. "How could Justin... single... there's just no way... every night... every city... months... Chicago." She snapped her head up at Trace, realizing her thoughts weren't just her thoughts. "He went to Chicago to get away. He couldn't live with the guilt anymore... only to find me there."

He nodded his head as he shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. He won't talk to me about Chicago but I don't think that's why he ended up there. We had plans, he forgot. Justin doesn't forget anything." He stepped back, "I didn't know you were there with him though."

"I wasn't" Jill offered defending herself, "I mean... I didn't go there for him. I ended up there. I had too much going on... I needed to breathe for a minute, alone. We both ended up there."

            Jill couldn't put the pieces together. Could she have really been sleeping with a guy involved with someone else? Could she have chose not to see that side of things because she didn't want to see it? Why did it all matter so much to her?

Closing her eyes, she threw her head back, "I'm so done. I'm done with everything."

She barreled passed him about four steps when Trace grabbed her arm, swinging her back around to him. "What do you mean you're done?"

Jerking her arm out of his grip, "Trace, the decision has already been made. I'm glad I made that choice because it looks like I was wrong about someone, once again."

He threw up his arms in the air. "You're leaving Justin like this?"

"I'm only contracted as his dancer through tonight's show." She turned to walk away from him again.

"You're not even going to tell him." He said as a statement when it finally registered through his thoughts that Justin had fallen for Jill. And Jill, stubborn as she was, had fallen for Justin.

"It's a business decision. My job is finished here." She exhaled a hard breath.

"Business? Seriously?" Trace was frustrated he wanted to scream at her, "I can't let you hurt Justin like this, he finally found... you."

She swallowed her emotions, mumbling to herself she says "All I ever do is say goodbye." She held back the tears, pointing into his green room she says "It looks like you don't have to worry about Justin. He is back in the arms of his ex-girlfriend and I can easily be replaced." Turning away from him she starts to walk down the now longest hallway she has seen in her life.

 "Jill..." he yelled.

His words from this morning ran through her head over and over again, words that hurt her but she wasn't sure why then. Turning back, words were a little harder to get out. "It's done. You should be happy; it's what you wanted for your best friend."

"That's not what I mea..."Trace stopped, there were too many witnesses around to make a statement that wasn't going to stop her anyways.

In a sprint she rushed out the back door. Crumbling to the concrete she realizes why the aching pain in her chest was intolerable, why it hurt so bad she couldn't breathe. Why she suddenly felt empty inside. Jill had fallen in love with Justin. Against her own arrangement, she fell in love with him. She slowly let her heart attach to his, only to let someone once again make her crash and burn.

Justin was as ready as he was going to be tonight. He was trying with everything he had in him to let go of his personal life and step on the stage, giving it all he had for the fans that he loved so dearly. He heard a heated argument in the hallway and decided it was his getaway from the people in his room. Trace was standing alone, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Everything alright Trace?" Justin asked.

He turned looking into Justin his eyes that were filled with anguish. "I think you have a lot of explaining to do."

He knew at that moment, Trace knew everything. He knew that his secret wasn't so secret anymore. "I... I..."

Trace turns around and starts down the hallway, only to turn back frustrated and blurt out, "I can't believe you would go back to her..."

Or did he? Justin thought. Go back to who? "What are you talking about?"

Trace swung around glaring at his best friend of nearly thirty years, "Her." He pointed at his ex now standing in the doorway.

Chaos erupted in the hallways, separated Justin from everyone. The show was just minutes from starting and everyone was taking their places. His microphone pack had been checked twice. His inner ear monitors were in and ready to go. The PA walks over handing him the silver microphone. "Are you ready to do this one more time for a while?"

Justin just nodded his head as he saw out of the corner of his eyes the gorgeous brunette standing across the room from him. Her face was flushed, her eyes red, she looked like she was going to be sick. Maneuvering through the crowd he made his way over to her. He didn't care who saw him, or what they heard.

Jill stood in her spot, trying to contain herself. She wanted to hurl, her nervous system was shot. Her hands wouldn't stop trembling. The urge became stronger as the scent of him started overtaking the space. His large hand gripped around her wrist and tears started to flow down her face. She wiped them quickly; mad at herself for letting this person get to her.

He placed his hand on her arm, "What's wrong babe?"
She moved his hand off of her arm, she planted a smile on her face and said, "Everything's perfect."

He wasn't sure what was going happening but he had a feeling it was worse than he ever imagined. "You're lying to me."

"Something you're good at." She mumbled turning away from him.

First his best friend said some confusing things and now Jill was basically saying the same thing. "What is going on today that I'm missing?" Justin asked confused.

She turned back, looking him square in the eye she added, "Could we just get through this last show please. It will all be over soon."

            The lights on the stage went dark. It was her cue to get in place. She left his side attempted to prepare herself for the last time she would do this.

            Jill hit her mark in every routine. She focused on that crowd screaming back at her. She had her focus in check. Justin did as well. The moment he stepped on the stage, he pulled the professional side of him out and kept that version of himself in the forefront for the entire show until that fateful moment came in the show and Jill took her place, not sure what she was going to do yet she pushed him into the chair, finishing each step she would only do one more time. She wanted to make it count, put her name on the map one last time.

Justin kicked the chair and pulled her into him. They looked at each other, slowly coming in closer to one another. The crowd started to roar, Jill knew she had to give them what they wanted; even if it was the one thing she couldn't bear to do at that moment.

She took his lips on for one last time. Nipping the edge of his lip, his smile rises in enjoyment. The smoothness his lips always felt like, were comfort. The taste of 901Silver that resided in his mouth, his curls wrapped in her fingers, his hand on her ass. She placed her hand on his face, looking into his eyes. She saw the man she had fallen in love with. The one she spent day after day with. The one who treated her the way no man had ever treated her before. The unbelievable man she thought he was.

He closed in what space was left between them, indulging into the taste he enjoyed so much. Her lip quivered as her entire body shook from emotion. She pulled away, walking to the other side of the stage. He stood there, not knowing what was wrong with her, but it was enough to affect her emotions during a routine she was a perfectionist about.

The show must go on. Justin finished his set and the entire cast and crew joined him on the stage for one last bow. He looked over that stage several times, not seeing her anywhere. He began to worry. He smiled at the audience for just a few minutes before he walked off that stage, on a mission to find her.

He scurried past anyone one that was speaking to him, up and down the halls, each room coming up empty handed. She was gone. He collapsed on the couch, aggressively rubbing his hands over his face.

Emotionally drained, Jill took her seat. Taking yet another glance at her phone, seeing that Justin was calling her again, she powered off the phone and sunk further into her seat. In her hand she held the laminate she had worn for nearly a year. Her name was printed along with her photo under his tour logo. She chose reality over the dream.

"She left man."

Justin slowly moved his hands down from his face. Trace was standing next to him handing him a white envelope. His heart sank when he saw scribbled in what almost looked like his very own handwriting, his name staring back at him. In her handwriting.

There would be no happy ending. There would only be her words pulling the strings of his aching heart.

J-

This is my song to you, the closest I will get

 All these words for you that I'll probably regret

But my tongue won't settle and my mind won't let me be

This is my song to you, from me

I'm gonna lie to you

Cause you should never see this hope in my heart

That way you actually pick me

But her grip is strong and your heart was never mine

Running away from you is impossible, I'm finding

You're the poison I've been fighting, just to breathe you in full time...

Tears stream down his face dropping to the sheet of paper, smearing the ink of her words.

This is my song to you, the closest I will get

 All these words for you that I'll probably regret

Just to taste you flowing through my veins

For one night with you

I would trade everything, everything if I could just touch you

Rid this mess that's keeping up apart

Instead of just this song, you'd have my heart

Every string in his heart had been pulled and the heartache began to take over.

I've learned what I want in life and what I don't. What I thought I didn't want most of all, is the one thing I can't stop thinking about having now.  My dream... wasn't nearly the dream I spent so much of my life trying to achieve. It was something much different. By the time you read this song to you, I will be on a plane breathing in the fresh air and you will be free to love again.

-J

"She's gone." He mumbled over and over again. "She's... gone."

Trace throws his arms in the air. "You fucked up man."

He looked up at Trace. "Yea, I figured that one out on my own."

"I'm not sugar coating shit for you. I've done that too many times." He starts pacing around Justin. "The question is, do you love her?"

"With every fiber in my body." He admitted, placing her song to him on the table in front of him.

"Then you know what you have to do."

"She left." He covered his face with his hands again, mumbling into them. "I knew she would never love me."

Traces smacks the back of Justin's head. "You're an idiot."

His head bounced back and forth, "What the fuck man." Justin stands ready to scream.

 "There's only one way to find out if she loves you."

Throwing his arms in the air with frustration, Justin explodes. "I don't know where she is? I can't work fucking miracles Trace."

"When have you ever let something as minor as knowing where someone is, stop you from anything?" Trace had a point.

            Justin scurried down the hallway before Johnny's hand snatched him up, pulling him into a room full of people staring at him, clapping, and congratulating him on a successful tour. Justin felt anything but successful. He was actually hoping to find a very small hole to climb into.

Johnny lifted his hand into the air, cup in hand. "To Justin. And yet another remarkable tour under your belt. I'm proud to have stood beside you throughout the years and have come so far from that boy eager to just be on the stage, to the unbelievably talented man you are today. And yet you still remain that humble, southern gentleman I met oh so many years ago." He looked around the room, and over to Justin who looked lost. He clearly wasn't in the room with everyone else. "The end of this tour can only mean one thing... The beginning of another! See you in a couple months' folks!" Everyone took a swig of whatever they had in their hands while Justin continued to stand there, off in space somewhere. "Justin" Johnny says, "You want to say anything..."

Justin stared off, running his finger in the circle of the plastic glass. Her words, they were so emotionally filled.

"What I thought I didn't want most of all, is the one thing I can't stop thinking about having now."

It took Justin a few moments to kick into motion but he finally did, grazing his finger over the rim of the glass. "I have..." his words broke.

"I will be on a plane breathing in the fresh air and you will be free to love again."

Of all the things he knew he should say to that room full of people who worked their ass off for him, he said the only thing he could think of in that moment. "God, I love her." He snaps his head up to see an entire room full of people stunned by his words. "I know where she I going. I have to stop her."

"Justin, are you okay?" Johnny asks, worried.

"I just need... to stop her." He turned back to Trace, "Can you drive me?"

"Get your slow ass moving, we have a plane to stop." Trace runs out of the room, headed out the back exit.

"Justin?" Johnny attempts to stop him. "Who do you have to stop?"

"Thank you everyone, but I have to go." And just like that Justin bolted down the hallway out the back door and was on the phone with every contact he had in his phone that could stop that plane.

Jill had chosen reality but reality wasn't what she wanted. Running her fingers over the grooves of his name she knows what she wants but that dream wasn't going to work. No matter what she did in life, that dream couldn't be achieved.  He would always run back to what he was used to. He was comfortable and she understood that, she just never guessed that the one thing she would want would be him. Leaning down she places the laminate into her purse. She couldn't look at it anymore. She chose to walk away from that job and it was time to look forward, not back. However looking forward didn't stop the tears from flowing down. She cupped her hand over her mouth, gasping for breathes into her hands.

"Running away from me is impossible." Justin began to speak in a loud tone standing over Jill. She lifted her head away from her hands, "I'm the poison you've been fighting. And running away isn't an option anymore."

He was actually standing in front of her, it wasn't her imagination playing tricks on her. "Justin... How... why..."

He sat down next to her, placing his finger over her mouth. "All these words for you, I will never regret. I'm not gonna lie to you, cause you should always see this hope in my heart that you would actually pick me. I want to taste you flowing through my veins. I want to touch you. I would trade everything, everything to spend my nights with you. I want to breathe you in full time..." He leaned into her face, wiping away her tears, pressing his face against hers he whispered, "Instead of a song, I'd have your heart..."

"Make up your mind Timberlake..." Jill pulls his face into his. "You said you wanted a song."

He pressed her lips onto his, different this time. It was sensual. "I'll take both."

"I love you." She said without hesitation. As those words escaped her lungs, she knew it felt right.

"I think I have always been in love with you." Justin admitted.

            The entire plane erupted in "Awe's" as they look at each other and realize, they were on a plane, confessing their love for one other, and he, was Justin Timberlake. Jill laughed, "Are you coming with me?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way!" He expressed, taking her hand intertwining their fingers.

"You're not going back to your ex?"

"I'm looking forward to looking back on the days we fell in love, but that's as far back as I will ever go."

She lowered her head onto his shoulder, "How did you know where I was going?"

 She had become the only thing in his life that could go in circles and he was content with that. "You were going to breathe in the fresh air." His world had finally become complete. He was ready to take on forever. "Chicago."

Life on the road is simply dance steps that gave us a breath of normalcy over courses of time, leading us to the poison our hearts desire. A Song to You can lead you to a breath of fresh air...