Christmas Eve

5:20am JFK Airport

            The headlights of the plane beamed off the glistening snow that fell from the sky, creating a glitter effect across the pavement as we descended into the winter wonderland. This was a view I only got to see on this very trip home every year. I missed everything about the snow. I loved curling up next to the fire with someone I loved... wearing comfy sweaters to keep warm... all things I don't even think twice about having to do living in Los Angeles.

Trips home for the holidays were a big deal. Every year, I arrange my schedule around this trip, but this year my visit will be much shorter than normal, which was a choice I had made. Simply because I wasn't sure how much of this holiday crap I could handle in this one visit. My family was overkill when it came to Christmas. To be more specific, they were overkill for Christmas Eve. My parents believed Christmas Day was something everyone celebrated for the wrong reasons. My family wasn't overly religious; they simply wanted the holiday to be spent with the family, with the ones you love. Christmas Eve became the day that the "Taylors" celebrated Christmas.  I couldn't remember a single year when I dreaded the idea of coming home this much.

            This was the first Christmas, in many years, I was going home alone. I had all intentions of avoiding any questions about him. I was going to fly in, do what I had to do for the family, and get back to Lalaland without my family being aware of anything that's happened. I needed time to go through the details, and move on.

Being his girlfriend, I wasn't used to dealing with arrangements for anything anymore. I didn't have to think about the little details, he handled all of it. Well, not him specifically, but it would all be arranged for us without even having to worry about it. I wasn't proud that I had become that person, but our schedules were so busy that it was nice not to worry about something such as traveling arrangements.

When I'd forgotten to book a flight home, it resulted in me taking a redeye flight on Christmas Eve in order to make it home in time. I guess the only good thing that came out of a lonely, dreadful redeye flight was the amount of time I would actually be home for the holidays. I would have to be back at work quicker than normal and it was a blessing in disguise.

            "Ma'am..." The attendant at the counter looked up from her screen, "I don't have a rental car available for you. Are you sure you booked one?"

            "The name is Layla Taylor... are you sure?" I was pulling my identification out of my wallet.

"Ma'am... I know who you are..." She said attempting to be coy. "I don't have a car reserved for you and we don't have any due to the holiday... Is there any other name it could be under?" She asked.

I dropped my elbows to the counter, covering my face in embarrassment. "I don't know." I tried to think back, did I book the car or was it just on my to-do list and I forgot to actually do it? "His assistant usually handles these things." I mumbled.

            Embarrassed was an understatement, as I quickly wheeled my luggage out the terminal gates, hailing a cab. The chilled air took my breath away, as if I had stepped into the arctic. Something about being in the cold or maybe the reason I was in the cold, instantly made the feeling of heartbreak overtake my every emotion. Tears of pain began to stream down the side of my face, nearly freezing in the bitter cold air.

You can do this. I whispered to myself, wiping away the tears that managed to escape, reaching for the door handle of the yellow cab, the memories of New York City and him began flooding back.

"Hello there new neighbor..." He extended his hand out to mine, introducing himself.

As I reached to shake his hand he pulled me in, embracing his long muscular arms around my nervous body. "We are going to be living next to one another." His words flowed out. "We might as well get to know each other."

I laughed trying to avoid my awkwardness, "I won't be living here very long. But it's very nice to meet you."

He stared into my eyes.

In all the time I had been in this business, as long as I have known others in the business, I had yet to meet him. He was the untouchable talent I couldn't even think about working with.

Minutes of just looking into each other eyes, he breaks the silence. "Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?"

"Sure." I said without hesitance, not even questioning his motives was or what this could lead to.

"My place or yours?" he smiled, revealing a gorgeous smile, eyes that lit up from excitement.

"Yours." I said watching his face beacon with happiness. "My apartment is a sea of boxes right now."

"Six o'clock. Don't be late." He perched his lips, bobbing his head back and forth attempting to make a point. "You can't blame traffic..."

            I did show up to dinner late, two whole minutes to be exact; I had to make some kind of stand against him. When he opened the door I lifted my arm in the air with a bottle of very expensive wine as an apology. "Sorry I kept you waiting..."

"I've waited forever for you..." his perfectly full lips began to speak as the words he just said registered in his mind. He smiles running his tongue over his lips, "Sorry... that was a little too forward."

Our relationship started with ease and seemed to never be difficult for us, even with both of our crazy schedules. Everything was perfect.

The snow covering everything in its path was defiantly different than the sunny California sky I was used to seeing throughout the year. Nothing seemed to change here, yet everything had changed. Coming back here this year, everything was different.

In the mere forty six minutes it took to drive into the small borough known as Alpine, I had let the heartache take over. It had only been eight days, but it felt like an eternity without him in my life.

A simple question... destroyed everything.

Everything about being ‘home', reminded me of him.

Taking a deep breath, I placed both feet on the pavement outside of my parent's house and looked up at a place I dreaded stepping foot into now. Years of summers, birthdays, parties, backyard cookouts, and holidays were all foreshadowed by the heartache I felt right now. Over him.

The house was still dark, windows lit softly by a battery operated candle, ones that I was sure my mother kept over the years as one of those mementos she simply couldn't get rid of. I turned my key in the door, gliding open to reveal the hazelnut scent the house always possessed through the holidays. I carried my bag up the stairs quietly to the back bedroom I had called mine for nearly two decades. The door opened quicker than I wanted it to. An empty room held too many memories for me.

His skin was hot to the touch, literally. He was had been sick for days before we left; I begged him to stay at home in bed, get better but he insisted he couldn't miss Christmas Eve at the Taylor's. He loved every minute of the craziness that it was.

He sprawled across the bed restless but he couldn't sleep.

"You need to see a doctor." I placed the back of my hand on his forehand, checking on him for what felt like the twentieth time of the day. His fever wasn't diminishing and I could hear the pain in his cough. "There is something wrong..." I said as I covered him up with a blanket.

He pulled me down into his infected filled space, "It's just stress. I promise."He tightens his grip around my stomach, nuzzling his chin on my shoulder, finally falling asleep.

I didn't believe him, and I was right not to. He had pneumonia, and spent the next week on strict bed rest. Our New Year's Eve plans consisted of being curled up in bed together watching old movies, eating everything we could stomach. It was the perfect way to end the year we had together.

"Layla." I hear the deep voice of my father echoing from down the hallway off the kitchen. An enormous smile was planted on my father's face, "You made it."

"Of course I did." I said with a sad tone in my voice, swallowing a gulp of hot coffee.

He asked handing me creamer for my coffee. "You okay?"

"I'll be fine." I lied, kinda. "I'm happy to be home." The first of many lies I was going to have to say this holiday season. Including, ‘Merry Christmas', it was something I was just going to say this year and not really mean anything behind it.

The quietness I was happy to have in the house, no longer existed; everyone seemed to be up and moving around the house with this extreme energy that I didn't have.

My sister, Julie, seemed irritated by my presence. It was fine by me, the last thing I wanted to deal with was her pettiness and drama filled life, even though I was sure she didn't even know what real problems were. She has lived off my parents for as long as I can remember. They paid for her college, just as they did mine, yet she chose to graduate with an associate degree in nothing, joining my father at the label, shuffling papers around and basically mooching off their income for anything she wanted. I'm not blaming her, it's just as much as my parents fault as it is hers. I chose to get a degree and chase my dreams, achieving something she will never have in the very same industry, respect.

She storms by me sighing heavily, the words "JUICY" plaster across her rear end as if it were an advertisement.  I could never understand why a grown adult would want something written across that area? One thing us Taylor girls didn't need was any more attention in that area, but that is exactly what she wanted. She loved the attention, for all the wrong reasons.

            Julie tripped over her own feet as she attempted to drag the red and green totes carrying all the Christmas decorations across the room from the window seal they were stacked next to. My eyes look over at the very seat we spent countless hours on. My chest tightened up and the pain began to soak in even further.

With his arms tucked tightly around my body, I rested my head on his chest and listened to the gallop of his heartbeat, watching the snow fall against the window.

"Layla" My mother yelled for me, breaking me away from the thoughts I should be blocking. She is in the kitchen cooking up a storm, as she does every year, preparing for the day of the year I have looked forward to for more years than I can even think about. She watches my every move as I jump in to help her prepare all the details of the day's dinner. She's worried about me and how I'm doing and yet, she doesn't know what was wrong, but she knew it was something. Christmas was my holiday. I loved everything about the holiday. I loved coming home to the snow. I loved spending this time with my family. I loved spending time with him with my family.

"When does Justin's flight come in?" she asked looking up from the mound of dough she was kneading on the counter.

Hearing his name, instantly caused my throat to close off, and my eyes to fill with tears. I swallowed my pride and in a whisper I managed to say the words. "He's not coming."

"Is he busy?" Her forehead crinkled and her eyebrows rose, "He always enjoys helping put the decorations on the tree... he wouldn't miss this." My mother stopped what she was doing, staring into my pain filled eyes, "Layla, this is your favorite time of year... what's wrong with you?"

"Life." I said placing the pan on the stove and walked quickly out of the room.

There wasn't a single place I could be in this house and not have a memory of him.

Grabbing my coat and scarf, I ventured out of the house, quickening my pace with every step. I needed to breathe without the scrutiny of the entire house looking at me. I needed to breathe before the tears, which were now streaming down my face, were witnessed by everyone around me.

I plopped down on the bench in the park, burying my head between my knees, gripping my head with as much pressure as I could.

I was stronger than this.

It was just Christmas, and it was just without him.

A loud buzz vibrated off the bench from the pocket of my coat. I attempted to ignore it. But as always, I couldn't. A smile tried to come upon my face as I saw the name on the screen, but it couldn't... this person was a direct reminder of him.

"How is Jersey?" he asked immediately as I said hello.

"Heartbreaking." I said without thinking, I shouldn't be saying anything.

"Why? Isn't going home always a great trip, you look forward to it every year."

"Yes, but not alone." I stopped at that. I had already said too much.

"Ok, clearly I'm lost." He admitted.

I chuckled. He was always lost in circles.

"Girl, you're lucky you're so far away. I would hurt you."

"You won't have to worry about that anymore." I placed my hand over my face, stupid SHUT UP.

"Spill it." He demanded. "What is going on?"

"I need to get back to my family. It's time for..."

"Layla Elizabeth..." He attempted to make it known that he knew me too well.

But I simply fired back with, "Juan Trace."

"I'm not kidding around." He snapped his voice up.

"Neither am I." I said before pausing and then I said the one thing I needed to say, "Merry Christmas Trace. Have an amazing Christmas with the family. Be sure to wish them all the best for me. Enjoy Tennessee and all it has to offer for the holidays." I clicked off the phone and the tears flooded again.

I had become close with Trace over the years. We spent so much time together; he had become the older brother I never had. The bad thing was he would usually take my side on arguments with his best friend. It usually would start some kind of war, but it was always in fun.

"I'm with her man." Trace tucked behind my chair in the studio, "She will hurt me."

"Whatever." His best friend says, "I see where your loyalty lies."

Trace shrugged his shoulders, "Sorry man."

Just then Trace's best friend bolted across the room, reaching out to grab a hold of me, but I moved quick, causing him to chase me down the hallway and into another studio. When he caught me, which I knew he would, he pushed me against the wall, placing his hand gently on my face, caressing his thumb on my flushed cheeks. His warm breathe danced down my neck, "I've waited forever for you..."

I sat down on the couch and watched as Julie and my father took piece by piece out of the totes, placing them along the room where the items typically belong. As usual, Julie had to look at every item she took out and examine it as if she had never seen it before. I couldn't bear to touch anything; I just watched them enjoy the festivities.

Against my better judgment, I let my train of thoughts wonder to him. I wondered when he put the Christmas lights up if he looked over to see if I was slacking behind him. Did he notice one less pair of hands helping him out this year? Did he even put up lights with me not there? Was the Christmas tree we always decorated before we left to spend the holidays with our families even out of storage? Was he going home for Christmas day, without me?

"Please take that down." I asked my sister from across the room. The knot in my stomach twisted and turned at the sight of that poisonous piece of leaf. It was enough for me to just see it.

His hands gripped the side of my face as he looks deep into my eyes. Watching those blue eyes, staring back into mine, I saw forever. His eyes move up the door frame, back down to my eyes, his body started to push me against the wall. His left arm went over my shoulder, resting against the door frame; his right hand pulled my face to his, "Mistletoe. I have to kiss you. It's tradition."

"Well if you have to... I guess you have to..." The smirk widened across my face just as he leaned in pressing his soft lips right where they belonged.

"It's mistletoe." Julie expressed, "My boyfriend is coming over. We have to have mistletoe." She threw her attitude towards me, leaning up on her tippy toes to put the green leaf in its place.

"Julie..." I nearly begged her. "I'm asking you to not put it up there, please."

"Whatever. You are being a bitch and you need to relax." She snapped at me, throwing it back into the box. "It's Christmas."

I was fully aware of what the holiday was. I was fully aware of the emptiness I felt on this holiday that is supposed to be filled with joy.

Trying not to make it well known how unbelievably unhappy I was, I helped place the lights on the tree and started placing the ornaments in locations all around the enormous tree.

My heart stopped beating when I was handed a personalized ornament from our second trip home together. My mother had a photo of the two of us personalized onto a glass ornament that read, "The first of many Christmases: 2005" I held back the tears as long as I could, I placed it on the tree and walked away, giving Julie the position she wanted.

Maybe coming home, without him, wasn't such a great idea. Maybe I couldn't handle all of this right now. Maybe it was just too soon.

"Dinner's ready" My mother yelled throughout the house.

Everyone made their way into the formal dining room, taking the same seats they sat in every year. The table was lined in my mother's perfection. Her finest china was on the table around a gorgeous Christmas color themed décor. She had done a perfect job, like every year.

As the table filled up around me, everyone seemed to have someone. The chair sitting next to me, his chair, was still empty. I stared at it as if somehow it would eventually make him appear there, is his dark slacks, white button down, and tie that he made sure to wear every Christmas Eve. Out of respect for my parents, he said so many times before. The most upper-class, laid back people you would meet on the earth, and he wanted to make sure he showed respect to them. He melted my heart with simple gestures as that one.

I scooted my food from one side of the plate to another, not really touching anything. My mother's homemade cooking I waited to have all year long, had no interest to me now.

My world had come to a roaring halt, with a torrential downpour of pain. Everyone was here. Everyone but him.

"Is he not coming?" Sarah, Julie's friend mumbles to her.

Julie shrugged her shoulders, not moving her hand out of the hand of this new guy of hers.

I knew they were talking about me, and him. Sarah only showed up to flirt with him. She got drunk last year and slipped that information out. Why exactly Julie would insist that she return this year after declaring her interest in my boyfriend still boggles my mind. I know that Julie has always had an issue with my relationship with Justin, but I didn't think she could look past the actions of her friend.

My phone, now in the front pocket of my sweater begins to vibrate through the fabric and rattling off the chair, catching the attention of everyone in the room.

The words, "Why is Justin not with you in Jersey?" stared back at me.

He did choose to still go home to Tennessee, without me.

Explaining to Trace why he wasn't in Jersey, was not going to happen. At least not right now and most importantly not while I sat at this dining room table, with everyone watching my every move.

I'll call you later. I'm having Christmas dinner with my family.

Quickly he responded. "Without Justin? I think you need to tell me what is going on. This isn't how this holiday was supposed to be..."

Confused, I place the phone back in my pocket, looking up at a room full of people that seemed to be staring back at me waiting for some explanation of why it appears as if I am going to burst into tears at any moment.

 "Where's that handsome boyfriend of yours?" My unknowing sister's best friend asks, with a smirk on her face. Did she think it was funny to bring him up?

"It's not the same without Justin here." My mother expressed looking around the room at a nearly full dining room table.

Hearing his name out loud wasn't easy. I nodded my head agreeing with her. "I'm glad to be home." I said trying to think of something to make myself smile for even just a moment. My mother always loved him, more than me most days. From the day she met him, he was it for her. She loved having him in my life.

"Oh honey, I'm ecstatic to have you home as well." She tried to make up for her want of him instead of me there.

"I know, I know. But I'm not him..." I rolled my eyes. My mother always loved him. She respected him.

"Oh hush." My mother interrupted me, "He is family. This is our holiday, he should be here."

"I know he should, but he's not." I sat quietly, trying to think of nothing. Trying to not picture His face. His smile. His eyes. His arms. His warmth. Up to my feet, I walked out of the room, rushing up the stairs to the back bedroom that used to be mine. The very same room I had spent the last four Christmas's with him beside me as the nights ended and the mornings began on this all important holiday.

"What the fuck is going on?" Trace bellowed through the phone after calling twenty times when I wouldn't pick up.

I couldn't speak. I couldn't say the words, I couldn't think his name, how the world was I going to speak about him.

"Layla." Trace finally spoke again. "One of you has to explain to me what happened..."

"I can't talk about this." I closed my eyes hoping that he would get the hint. Maybe he wouldn't make me say the words out loud and feel that level of pain again.

I heard him swallow hard on the other end of the line. He put the pieces together before he called me, he only needed me to verify it. "What led to this?"

"I love you Trace but..."

"No. No buts..." he said frustrated.

"I need to go. My family is waiting on me." I placed the phone on the nightstand next to my childhood bed and returned back to the traditions my family counts on every year.

**

At the bottom of the spiral staircase in the foyer sat the tree, lit and all its glory near the floor to ceiling window panels giving view of the tree to the neighbors from the street. I loved the idea of sharing the tree you spent hours working on with your family members for others to enjoy as well.

            Each person hands another a gift, one by one the wrapping paper piles up on the floor, the secrets you have kept for others for so long are revealed to them. Gifts, all of material value, making some happy and some, well wishing they had something worth a little more than the Gucci bag her mother had purchased for her. Yes it was gorgeous. Yes I was thankful, but it wasn't what I wanted. I wanted him.

            Sarah slams down the gift box she just opened. "Could you be any more ungrateful Layla? You could pretend to be a little happier for the three thousand dollar bag your family just bought for you."

            I feel my bones shake like my body had an earthquake and all the walls were about to cave. It's about to go down. "I'm not ungrateful." I lowered my head in pain, "It's just, everything I want, is miles away, in some other snow covered town, giving his mother the same old sweater..." The room silenced. "Complaining about his cousins that were late once again and not missing me at all." The deafening silence through the room was enough confirmation that they were now very aware of the reason I wasn't in the mood for the happiness that surrounds the holiday. "I'm sorry I have ruined Christmas for all of you."

 I swallowed the lump in my throat, walking away from everyone that continued to say nothing. They were shocked that it was over. It was over. There was no me and him anymore. There was no us. There was just me. I watched the snow fall at a steady pace out the window. My family all gathered up and joined the neighbors for their traditional joint evening get together. I watched them all leave, never speaking to any of them.

Slamming the bedroom door he walks away from me. He threw out words, hurting the deepest part of my chest, cutting the wound deeper than ever before.

Frozen and weightless, I stood looking at the closed door in front of me. I was sure I was only envisioning that he just said all those things to me. He didn't actually say those words, in that tone, that serious to me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that..." he says returning the bedroom we shared.

I was standing in the very same position, with the very same blank stare.

He had changed. Something had changed him over the last few months, I wasn't sure what I had done, or what was wrong but I was sure of one thing. "What would it take you to just be happy with me?"

"Ya know I love you." He says breathlessly, in a way that was so heartfelt yet it was like it was something he was just used to saying.

Saying that doesn't mean anything with me. "That's not what I asked."

He rubbed his hands over his freshly shaved head with stress filled in his eyes. His tone became aggressive again, "I don't know what the fuck you want me to say Layla. I just don't know anymore."

His words and tone, hurt more each time he continues this conversation.

 "I'm gonna go." I said chocking on my own words, swallowing his. "I need to go."

"Don't go. I'm sorry." He reaches for my hand, "We haven't seen each other in weeks... don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight? Don't you want to spend any time with me before I'm gone again?"

All I have ever wanted was to spend every minute I could with him. "I want that." I admitted when he pulled me in, kissing me gently, trying, attempting to take back his words, take back the pain he knew he caused me. My lip began to quiver as my heart was shattering into pieces. I couldn't kiss him anymore feeling this broken by his choices. I stepped back looking in to his empty eyes. "I want that... you just don't want that anymore."

I turned, picking up my keys from the bed where I just placed them an hour before. "I'm gonna go."

 Walking out the front door, my world crashing around me.

            I never thought we'd share our last kiss. I never imagined we'd end like this.

A sad goodbye. Tears began to flow again, watching the snow fall slower than the fall of our relationship. The demise of my life.

My father wanted details. My mother wanted to comfort me. My sister only had a smirk on her face. I only wanted to be alone.

I climbed with a heavy heart into a seat I filled with happy memories. Pulling my oversized sweater over my knees, I tucked my legs even tighter, wrapping my arms around them even tighter, resting my chin on my knee, focusing on the snow falling outside the window pane instead of the pain that has erupted throughout my body.

"Layla..."

The snowflakes began to get larger, crashing to the ground, joining the pile that had already started to accumulate.

"Layla..."

            My head was on the brink of exploding. The headache seemed to be worse than I thought. I ignore the sound of pounding inside of my head.

How could a love so strong, mean nothing at the end of the day? How could five years of love, shatter into nothing? How could I have just walked away from him? How could he have said that to me...

I missed him.

I missed the sound of his morning voice whispering in my ear how much he loved waking up next to me. I missed the scent of his skin lying next to me. I missed the way I could get lost in his eyes.

I missed him.

I took my phone, dialing his number. Maybe this would be a mistake but I needed to hear his voice, I needed to know that this was really over.

Ding Dong.

I looked over at the white door in the foyer, lights from the Christmas tree glimmering off everything with a reflection, when I heard it again.

Ding Dong.

My family had left the house, attending an evening party as they did every year and had been gone for quite some time. I had all the heartache I could handle for one day, opting out of that party. Assuming it was Julie or Sarah drunk, trying to get in the house I lowered my feet to the ground, walking slowly to the door. My phone remained in my hand, still ringing.

As the door glided open, the cold air and snow blew through the entry way.

"Justin." I exhaled his name for the first time in 8 days, dropping my phone to the marble floor.

Covered in snow, he stands on the other side of the door trying to smile, but his pain and tears prevent him from doing so. "I'm an ass. I'm sorry." He shook his head in disbelief. "There were things I should have never said things to you... things I never meant..."

I closed my eyes, feeling that pain... his words.

"It must be so easy being you..." he twirled his pointer finger in the air with ignorance. "I don't have the luxury of knowing what tomorrow brings."

My voice had lowered as the pain felt as if it was right in my throat, "Justin...what would it take for you to just be happy with me?"

His arms went up in the air as if he didn't give a shit anymore, "If you're not happy, the fucking door is right there..."

"Justin... I..." I started to express to him.

"Let me..." he took my hand into his. "I was all kinds of wrong that day and I've replayed that scene in my head over and over again trying to figure out why on earth I would say something like that. Why I would be such an ass... but that's the reason... I'm an ass. I can't handle when something is working. I can't handle when something is perfect. I feel the need to fuck it up." He continued, "With the pressure of everything... with the label... the album... there is no excuse for my actions." He continues to ramble like he did often, "I was an ass to the one person I should have never taken in out on. I'm sorry. I don't know how many times or how many ways I am going to need to say that but I am going to try. I love you. I have loved you from the moment we met in that hallway, in the city..."

"Justin..." I said his name again, this time a little easier. "Come out of the cold..." I stepped out of the doorway, crossing my arms trying to stay warm; my body began shaking from the chilled breeze flowing through the house.

He steps through the doorway, dusting off the snow that gathered on his coat. He placed it on the banister, revealing his dark slacks, white button down, and simple black tie. "I went to the Reynolds'... Your mother said you hadn't been there all night..."

"I couldn't." I shook my head, never losing sight of his eyes locked with mine.

"I'm sorry. I ruined Christmas." He cautiously stepped back closer to me.

"I ruined everyone else's Christmas..." I admitted.

"My fault, again."

"Justin...-"

He interrupted me, placing his hand so genuinely on my face, pulling my focus directly onto him, "This Christmas was supposed to change everything... but I didn't think this was going to be the way it would change." I was confused by what he was trying to say, but he continued. "When I close my eyes, I see our children playing in this snow... creating precious memories that we will remind them of years later..." The smile on his face beams brightly and genuine. "I see the love in their mother's eyes for me, as if we just fell in love all over again. Time and time again..."

            Water began to fill up in my view again, his words were making me cry all over again.

"I know that I messed up and I'll spend forever trying to make up for that to you." He swallows the words he has said, "I'll change whatever is needed..."

I took his hand into mine, "Exactly who we are... exactly who you are, is just enough. I don't need anything or anyone else in my life. I only need your heart... you are it for me."

Justin lowered his head. Relieved. "I thought..."

"That's your problem... since all this album drama started that's all you've done is over think about everything. RELAX. Be the Justin I fell so madly in love with and worry about something when there is something to worry about."

He steps back into my space, "Like if you would say, yes?"

Confused I shook my head, "Yes to what?"

Justin lowered himself to the ground, balancing on his right knee, reaching in his pocket, pulling out a small deep blue velvet box, revealing a platinum setting of a single two karat diamond shinning back at me, the band circled around lined in diamonds.

I cover my face with my hands in shock.

"Layla Taylor..." Justin beamed, "I've waited forever for you..." He looked deep into my eyes, revealing the Justin I fell in love with. "I want forever with you..."

Nervous intuition of what he was about to say, I interrupt. "Justin..."

He gripped my hand tightly, staring directly into my eyes he says, "Will you marry me?"

Could we really get married after everything that just happened?

Was he ready for all of this? Was this his plan all along? Could this have been why he was so stressed?

Don't over-think things. Take your own words and believe them. I thought. Believe in him.

"Yes!" I gushed. "Yes. Yes. YES!"

Justin leaped off his knee, gathering me up into his arms, swinging my body around, his gently lowered my feet back to the ground, pressing his lips onto mine for the first time as my fiancé. Fiancé, wow.

We walked across that living room, cuddling up in the window seat, like he had done so many times before. "Do you want to attend the Reynolds's party? It's tradition." He asked placing small kisses on the side of my neck.

I looked down at the sparkler on my left hand, "Let's start a new tradition." I tilted my head to look at him, "I just want to be here with you a little while longer. Let me indulge in the presence of my fiancé."

"Sounds incredible to me." He said placing a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"Perfect." I gushed, making myself comfortable in his arms.