Jazzy is a nickname since as far back as I can remember. My mom works for the IRS and they want her to work in the Orlando, Florida office. She broke the news to me over a shopping spree. I love Dots. It's a fairly cheap clothes store for girls in Leominster. I'm almost 13 years old. I'd rather be out playing tackle football with my guy friends or dancing to songs with my girlfriends. I have two girls who I call my BFFE and sisters-Sherri and Dawn. BFFE means Best Friends ForEver. Sherri and I have known each other since we were babies. She's almost 9 months older than me. Dawn is younger by 4 years. She's just gone into 4th grade. Sher and I started 8th. Whoo! NOT! I love school, but my attention span says otherwise. I have ADHD, an attention hyperactivity disorder and NO I don't take meds for that. My mom has dealt with it this long without them, so why start? Dancing with my girls has always helped me focus. That's my reward when I'm done with homework. Until I leave for Orlando. SHIT!

My mom takes me shopping and doesn't even care about the money she's blowing. Something's up. I'm not dumb. I'm actually a straight A student right now, have been since first grade. Yeah, I'm kinda braggin'. She drops over $450 at Dots and tells me, nonchalantly, that we have to move to Orlando for her job. She corrects peoples' taxes for the IRS. She looks at me in the 1986 Ford Mustang we have and bites the inside of her bottom lip. "Jazzy, we have to move to Orlando."

"Funny, Ma." I laugh, hoping she's joking. She doesn't laugh. 'Fuck, Jazz. Smooth move, ex lax!'

"No, Jazz, we're moving. We drive down there starting the 26th, just after Christmas."

"Ma, you're not funny. I'm not leaving my friends."
"You can make new ones in Florida."

"Are you outta ya mind, Ma?"

"Samantha Marilyn Charpentier!"

I shrug. "What?"

"Look, I have until January 5th to move there or get demoted."
"What's in it for you?"
"A raise. I'll be getting $17 an hour if we move down there."
"We just had Thanksgiving and you just now tell me about the move that you've probably known about since, what, June?" She ALWAYS does this.

"Well, it's either that or I drop to $10 an hour."

I think about it. "Fine. Can Sherri and Dawn stay over on the weekends and help me pack?"

"As long as Terry and Debbie are fine with it." Terry is Dawn's mom and Debbie is Sherri's.

"I wanna call them. Let's go home." We say nothing to each other the whole drive home. I'm fuming fucking mad. I grab my new clothes and throw them on the stairs to my room and take the cordless upstairs to put everything I just got away. I call my guy friends and they say that sucks. They also say the good part is I won't have to deal with snow anymore. How I hate that shit. I call Sherri and she three ways Dawn in. "We have a dilemma."

Only thing Dawn can say is "Uh-oh."

Sherri asks the question to get the bad news out in the open. "What's the huge issue now, Jazz?"

"Ma and I have to move to Orlando, Florida. We leave the day after Christmas. A boring 4 day drive."

"WHAT???????" I knew they wouldn't think I was being melo-fucking-dramatic when I told them. They're shouting questions. "So, I'mma need y'alls help packing my shit in the next 3 or 4 weekends.

Sherri speaks up first. "I know my mom won't care if I stay with you until a couple days before Christmas. See if your mom would mind."

I run down the stairs. "MAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!" I have an awesome set of lungs, considering that I can dance for what seems like forever. Ok, maybe not forever, but it does feel like it and I love it. 

"What, Jazz?"

"Can Sher stay over till Debbie needs her to go home for Christmas?"

She sighs. "As long as some packing gets done everyday and you both HAVE to go to SCHOOL EVERYDAY. Am I clear?"

"Crystal." I run up the stairs. I hear Sherri ask her mom on the other line and get her mom's ok. "We clear?"

"Yeah. Dawn can you see if your mom would let you stay over Jazzy's?"

"She told me only on the weekends."

Sherri and I groan. Dawn follows ALL the rules, a wicked goody two shoes. Yeah, Massachusians say 'wicked', got a problem?

"Hey, Sher, can you get over here tonight?"

"My mom is bringing me over after dinner."

I hear my mom at the bottom of my bedroom stairs. My room is a two part attic and Ma practically has the whole downstairs to herself-a bedroom, living room and bath room. We also have a large deck/balcony for a back porch and a good size lawn. Fits about 15 pre-teens and teens to dance with a little space to spare. "JAZZY!"

"Yeah, Ma?"

"Come eat."

"What is it?"

"Mac and cheese. Welfare style." Ok, it's just tuna and a veggie tossed in. We just call it that cuz it's one of the cheapest meals we can make.

I sigh. "See ya soon, Sher. Dawn, I'll see you Friday after school. Let your mom know."

"Ok." Both say it and hang up.

I go eat dinner and start packing when Sherri gets there. The next month flies by before we realize it. I look at my agenda. 'WTF? It's the 22nd. Three days till Christmas and four till we leave state.'

I go through the next few days alone, making sure to call my girlfriends everyday. We pack our duffle bags in the 1986 white Ford Mustang. It has red leather interior and T-tops. I love this car cuz I picked it out for Ma this past summer. The rest of it was already on its way down to the place Ma got in Florida, via movers. I sleep most of the way there cuz she lets me have my tape player. She also let me get all the teen magazines I wanted. I look through them and come across an article about the Backstreet Boys and Lou Pearlman. Something about them coming back to the States and another boyband called *NSYNC that would be coming back within a year after that. I didn't finish reading it cuz I was more interested in Erik Von Detten's picture. He's cute. I look back at the pictures of *NSYNC and Backstreet Boys. The blonde one from Backstreet Boys looks kinda like Erik, but kinda looks like me. 'Hunh. It'd be funny if we were related. NAH!' 

We cross into Orlando and my mom wakes me up. "Jazzy. We're in Orlando. Look, palm trees."

I roll my eyes. Not only were we a day later than we wanted to be, but she was excited about palm trees? I look out the window and shake my head. We pull up next to a nice house. "Is that ours?"

"Yes. I saved most of our taxes and put a down payment on the house."

"Do I have my own floor again?" My eyes get big and kinda bug out.

"Yes, with your own bathroom too."

"SWEEEEETTTT!!!" I tear ass outta the car and motion for her to toss me the keys. She tosses em after she got the trunk unlocked. I get the house unlocked and rush upstairs to my floor. I look in the bed room and bathroom that are ALL MINE. "Fuck. I have no friends to share it with." I sit at the top of the stairs, put my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. I see two boys I remember from somewhere. I race out to the car to grab my bag. I trip as I run off the grass, my shoe got caught on the edge of the driveway.

If it wasn't for the dark haired and blue eyed boy catching me inches before landing  on my face, I would have face planted. "Easy there. Excited to be living in Orlando?"

"No. You two look familiar. Thanks for saving me from a wicked face plant."

They laugh and the blonde boy looks at me, holding his hand out. "I'm Justin and this is JC. Maybe you're thinking of the Mickey Mouse Club?"

I think, shaking their hands. "Maybe. Are you busy? You could come hang out with me as I unpack the little bit I have."

Justin and JC look at each other. "Can we use your phone to call our moms?"

"I'm not sure we have one. Come inside and I can ask my mom." They shrug and follow me in.

JC is curious. "Um, you never told us your name."

"My name's Samantha Charpentier, but everyone calls me Jazzy. MA!"

"In my room."

"We got a phone?"

"Yeah." She looks up from her suitcase. "Who are your friends?"

"Oh. Justin and JC."

"What's your real name, JC?"

He looks at her. "Joshua."

"Hi, Justin and Josh. It's at the bottom of the stairs and it's cordless."

"That's my mom, Vikki."

"Thank you, Miss Vikki."

"Thanks, Mrs. Charpentier."

We grab the phone and sit at the top of the stairs. JC calls his mom first. "Mom, can I stay over a new friend's house? Curfew? A girl. Jazzy. I will call before I leave her house. Justin is with me. He's calling his mom after we hang up. Love you, too, mom."

He hangs up and hands the phone to Justin. He dials his house number. "Momma, may I please stay over my new friend, Jazzy's? Josh is here."

"Hi, Mrs. Harless."

"No, we're not alone." He looks at me. "She wants to talk to your mom."

I walk halfway down the stairs. "Ma?"

"What, Jazz? I have to unpack."

"Justin's mom, she wants to talk to you."

"Have Justin bring me the cordless."

I run back up to the boys. "Ma says bring it down to her, Justin."

He nods and does so. I hear her talking to Mrs. Harless. Justin hangs up the cordless on the charger and runs up the stairs, taking them two and three at a time. "Momma says it's ok as long as JC is here."

"Sweet. Would you mind coming up and helping me unpack?"

I do most of the unpacking. JC is looking through some of the boxes. "So, Jazzy, where are you from?"

"Fitchburg, Massachusetts."

"How old are you?"

"I turn 14 in 11 days."

Justin blushes. I turn around cuz JC is laughing his ass off. Justin throws a stuffed animal at JC. "Shut up, man!"

"You have a crush on her."

"I DO NOT!"

I step between them. "So what if he has a crush on me? I have a crush on you."
JC stops laughing. "Really?"

I cross my arms in front of me. "Four years running, almost five."

"And you have the balls to tell me?"

"Well, yeah." I look down.

He hugs me. "That's cute."

I push him away. "I don't do cute, adorable, or pretty. Nice, sweet and beautiful I do." I put my hands on my hips.

"Just so you know, you're almost 7 years younger than I am. Nothing beyond friendship or 'brother' will ever happen. I have a five year rule." I flip him off and smirk. "Are you supposed to do that?"

I nod and look at Justin. He looks at me with wide eyes, like he's never told a tiny lie in his life. I roll my eyes and shake my head. "Anyways-"

"Anyway." JC corrected me.

"Anyway, wanna know something else?"

Justin smiles. "Sure. Got a boyfriend?"

"No, I can date but I haven't liked anyone enough. Most of the guys I know are so wicked immature."

JC is getting annoyed by my grammar. "What does 'wicked' mean?"

"Depends on what context you use it."

"Like you just did."

"In that case it would mean 'so very immature'. The tone you use when you say it, tells if it's a good 'wicked' or a bad 'wicked'."

"Is that how people from Massachuetts talk?"

"No, just the kids I know from Fitchburg and Leominster."

"Did you just move to Orlando?"
"Yeah, today."

"We're only here till Friday and then we have to go with our friends to Germany for work."

"You guys work?"

"Yeah, we have a band and we had to go to Europe for our start. Record label's choice."

"Sucks. You from around here?"

"I'm originally from DC. Raised in Bowie, Maryland. Justin's from Memphis, Tennesee."

"When are your birthdays?"

"Mine is August 8 and his is January 31."

"January 10. That makes you a Leo and Justin an Aquarius. I'm a Capricorn." I dig through one of my boxes and find my daily journal. I open the front cover and grab a pen. "Can you guys write down your birthdays?"

"Sure." JC writes his down first and hands the pen to Justin. He jots down his birthday and slowly hands me back my pen and journal.

"Looks like you're about as unpacked as you're gonna get today."

We run down the stairs and I yell out to my mom. "Going to Justin and Josh's!"

"Call before you leave their house."

"I will. Just outta curiosity, if they ask, can I stay the night?"

"You start school on Monday. I guess so. You'll have to come back for clothes, though."

"Ok. See ya later." I groan as we run out the door.

We get a couple houses down. Justin grabs my wrist. "Why don't you respect your momma?"

"I respect her fine. She knows I love her and I always check in."

"That's not how we talk to our elders in Memphis."

"That's country and I've lived in the city almost my whole life. Got any best friends?" I change the subject cuz right then and there I didn't want a lecture from a kid who was only older by a year or two.  

Justin smiles. "Yeah, JC, Trace and a girl. You remind me of her."

JC smiles. "Best friends? Kace, Justin and that's about it. We have a few other friends, but three of them are like brothers. You're about to meet two of them."

Justin is smiling from ear to ear. "Do you have any best friends?"

"Yeah, two. Sherri and Dawn. The rest are just friends who are guys."

JC whips his head to look at me. "You're not very girly are you?"

'Of course fucking not, dipshit.' "I'm only wearing jeans, a tank top, a football jersey and sneakers cuz I'm a pageant queen." I roll my eyes. "I'm a tomboy, through and through, Mr. Obvious."

JC holds the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes for just a second. Before we realize it, Justin and I are talking about climbing trees and playing basketball. JC is groaning because of how fast Justin and I clicked. "Another kid to baby-sit when I go out."

We walk into the place JC and Justin share with Chris, Lance and Justin's mom. "Wow. Nice. So, uh, who stays here with you and do you have any family nearby?"

Justin smiles. "My mom stays with us, as well as Lance and Chris. Joey spends the night sometimes. One of my friends from home lives with us, but she's helping her dad right now."

"Cool. I should call my mom to let her know I got here fine. She probably wants to talk to your mom."

"Josh, do you have any family nearby?"

"Hmmm? Oh, yeah. My parents, brother and sister are across the road."

Chris comes running in. "She's gonna kill us if we didn't rehearse today."

JC shakes his head. "We did that this morning."

I put my hand out. "Hi, I'm Jazzy."

"Chris. We did? Guess I forgot."

They laugh and I try not to laugh. JC looks around. "Do you know where Lynn is?"

"Laundry room."

I follow JC and Justin to the laundry room. "Momma, this is Jazzy. Jazzy, this is my momma."

JC quickly elbows him. "Lynn, could Jazzy use the phone to let her mom know she got here safely?"

I get kinda quiet around parents. I don't know why. "Mrs. Harless, my mom might wanna talk to you just to make sure I got here just fine."

Lynn smiles. "That's alright by me." We head upstairs and I call my mom.

"Ma, I made it to Justin and Josh's."

"Is there an adult there?"

"Yes, Mrs. Harless."

"I would like to speak with her."

"Ok. Hold on." I walk over to Lynn and hand her the phone. "Ma wants to talk to you."

"It's alright. Thank you. Hello. Yes, Mrs. Charpentier. She can if she would like to. It's no problem at all." I sit at the kitchen table facing her. "I would be more than happy to bring her over to pick up some clothes after dinner. We have plenty. Oh, well, we actually have to leave Friday and will be gone for awhile. Maybe we can arrange something so they can keep in contact. I'm sure we can come up with something. We will be by around 7:30. Thank you." She hangs up and looks at me. "Go play with the boys. I'll call you and the boys when dinner is done."

"Thank you, Mrs. Harless. Do you know where they went?"

"Probably in the back yard." She points toward the laundry room and I remember there was a door.

'Must be the back door.' I go outside and see they have a trampoline. Chris and Justin are play fighting. Every time one pretends to hit the other, they fall back on the trampoline. JC is doing flips and handsprings. I watch for a few minutes, laughing at Chris and Justin. I keep glancing at JC, wanting to learn to do those things. "Is there room for one more person?"

Chris stops goofing off with Justin and reaches out for my hands. "There's almost always room for one more." He helps me up on the trampoline. "You're a shrimp."

"I have a height deficiency. My mom says I'm vertically challenged."

Justin smiles. "She's not much taller. You're both shorter than me."

Chris turns to face Justin, in a play fighting position which mimicked the Stooges. I shake my head and start to jump over to JC, not wanting to have one of the other two falling on me. "Hey, can you show me how to do a handspring?"

He looks at me (I'm shorter than he is by almost a foot). "Uh, sure. Handsprings are easier." He shows me a couple times before he helps me do a few. "You learn quickly."

"Thanks."

"Let's try to do a handspring at the same time." I nod. "On three. One, two, three." We do the handspring and land on our feet. "Wow. What did you do for fun back home?"

"Dance for fun with my best friends. I played tackle football, soccer and basketball with my guy friends."

"Why'd you move here?"

"My mom works for the IRS and they said if she got down here, to the Orlando office, she'd get a pay raise."

"You'll make more friends than us. It's not so bad."

"There's always hope."

"At least you try to look on the better side of things."

"I don't have to worry about snow days and snow related problems anymore. Sunny days. New friends will help me feel better."

He laughs. "Especially if you're hanging out with us."

I look at the three of them. I remember them saying something about someone named Lance. "Who's this Lance kid?"

JC does a flip and looks at me after landing. "Lance is a friend of ours and he stays here with us. He's probably reading a book in the living room."

"Oh. Where's he from?"

"Mississippi."

"That's cool. I guess that means you're the only one who remembers snow days."

He smiles. "Other than Joey, yeah. I miss my friends back home, but it's what comes with the territory."

"Does it get easier? I mean, does the hurt from missing your friends go away at all?"

"It gets a bit easier as time goes on. Just focus on the here and now."

"Yeah, I can just call them later on and tell them how miserable I am when I'm not hanging out with you, Justin and, um, what's his name again?" I nod toward Chris.

"Chris." He chuckles.

"JC, can I talk to you?"

"Sure. What's up?"

"I mean sit down and talk to you? I need you to give me your honest opinion."

"Sure." He bounces one more time before doing a back flip off the trampoline. "I'll help you get down." He holds his hands out. I look at his hands as I slide to the edge. "I won't bite." We walk across the yard and sit in the grass. "What's on your mind, Jazz?"

"Well, I was wondering how you coped with the move here."

"I made new friends and kept in touch with my friends back in Bowie and DC."

"Wasn't it hard to, uh, do all that and deal with school?"

"Yeah, and on top of that, I was on the Mickey Mouse Show. I was busy all the time. Still am. Somehow I balance all of it."

"You're probably organized."

"Living with Justin and Chris can drive me crazy."

"I think it'd be kinda fun."

He looks at me like I'm insane. "Andi would kill us."

"Who's that?"

"Um, Justin's friend."

"Oh. He must be pretty cool."

"She is cool. Until someone sets her off."

"Oh, Andi is a girl? I'm sorry."

"You didn't know."

"Hey! J, did you guys rehearse at all?"

Justin jumps off the trampoline and hugs this girl that's about my size and beautiful strawberry blonde hair. She looks like she's a cool girl. "Andrealynni!"

I look at JC. "Andrealynni?"

JC smiles. "Yeah, Andi."

"Oh."

She walks over to JC and I. "Who's your girlfriend?"

JC snaps his head up. "She's not my girlfriend. Her name's Jazzy. Jazzy, this is Andi."

I look up and am captivated by her eyes, they are the most beautiful shade of green-mahogany I've ever seen. I have blue eyes, but her eyes are very rare. "Hi, Andi."

"Hi. How do you know JC?"

"I just moved in down the road. About a block from here. They were passing by my new place and I asked if they wanted to hang out."

"Who else do you know?"

"Justin was with him and I met Chris after I came here."

She slowly blinks. I have no idea what to expect. She looks at JC for a split second before grabbing his wrist, pulling him away and saying something that sounded like 'I have to tallk to you'. I can hear some of what they're saying. I can hear the anger and irratation in her voice and the defensiveness in his. She motions to me. "JC, come on, you know you need to focus. Keep your head in the game." She seems to be overly cautious.

"What is that supposed to mean, Andi?"

"Girls shouldn't be the first thing on your mind."
"Whoa! She's thirteen. Not happening. I'm just getting to know her."

"JC, thirteen? J and I turn 15 this year."

"I know this. I'm not trying to be with her."

She sighs and waves him off. He sits next to me. "Sorry about that."
"It's ok. She's just looking out for you."

"That's Andi. Justin's best friend since they were two."

I go to say that they seem so close, when Lynn calls us in for dinner. I get up and follow JC inside. I look down for a split second and I walk into someone. I see sneakers, basketball shorts, a t-shirt (green), a nice smile blonde hair and beautiful green eyes. His voice is pretty deep, but not too deep. "I'm sorry, Lynn told me to make sure you and JC were coming in."
I look down and blush, smiling. "Yeah, we're, uh, coming in." I left my hair down. I see it fall to cover my face.

JC quietly laughs. "Jazzy, this is Lance."

"What's her name again, JC?"

"Ask her."

I step to the side as Lance guides me out of JC's way. He puts his hand on the side of my face, gently. He makes me look him in the eye. "What's your name? JC said it too fast for me to catch it."

"Jazzy."

"That can't be your real name."

"My real name is Samantha. Nobody calls me anything but Jazzy."

"Just like everyone calls her," Lance motions to Andi, "Andi."

I nod. "Yeah."

"How'd you get that nickname?"

"Well, my friends and I have call dancing 'jazzing'. Ever since I could cruise furniture, I've been known to 'jazz' out to the music. My friend, Sherri's, older sister gave me the nickname before I was a year old." I realize I'm rambling and stop, looking down again.

"Lance, Have her sit between you and JC."

"Ok." He gently takes my hand and guides me to the seat she was talking about.

Andi and Justin start whispering back and forth. JC clears his throat. They stop whispering. Andi starts to smile. "So, Jazzy, do you like any of the boys?"

"JC is nice and he's sweet. Justin is just fun to be around. Chris is a wicked ball of energy. Lan-Lance has nice eyes." I blush and look away.

JC sees this as an opening cuz I turned my face toward him. "You like Lance?"

"What? Uh, um, no?"

He looks at Andi and Justin, nodding with a small smirk on his face. Chris laughs. "If I was blind, Jazzy, I wouldn't know what a little crush looks like."

JC looks at him. "No, little crush is what she has for me. She has a huge crush on Lance."

I glare at Chris and JC. Chris smiles. "After four sisters, you don't scare me." He pulls one of his bottom eyelids down and sticks out his tongue.

JC smiles. "I have a little sister. Doesn't work on me, unless it's Andi. She has a mean death glare."

Lynn steps in. "Boys, stop picking on her."

Andi smiles. "Yeah, boys. Before you scare her off."

Lance speaks up. "She just met us all today. We should be nice and get to know her."

Lynn remembers something. "Jazzy, would you like to spend the night tonight?"

"Yes, please."

JC whips his head in my direction. "You have manners."

"Yeah, I do."

"You seem to be pretty red in the face."

"You seem to be getting on my last nerve." I give him a sweet smile.

Lynn is tired of hearing them pick on me. "Next one of you to pick on her, gives her your bed."

Andi and JC groan. Lance clears his throat. I look at him, knowing my face is bright red. "I'm sorry for Andi and JC picking on you. I can let you have my bed."

"It's ok. Thanks, though. What's... What's your real name?"

"Huh?"

"I told you my real name. What's yours?"

"James."

"I like that name. Can't stand mine."

"I saw you when you came in with JC and Justin. I was wondering who you are."

"Now you know." I take a big bite of the Shepard's Pie and chew slowly while listening to how quiet it is.

"Um, just out of curiosity, how old are you?"

"I'll be 14 in 11 days. You?"

"I'll be 17 in May."

"Taurus."

"You know your astrology signs?"

"Yes. I'm a Capricorn, JC is a Leo, and Justin is an Aquarius."

"Chris's birthday is October 17."

"I'm pretty sure that makes him a Libra."
"Joey's birthday is January 28, what's he?"

"He's an Aquarius, like Justin."

Obviously when Just hears somebody say the phrase 'like Justin', he hears it. "What about being like me?"

I look at him as I grab my glass of water. "Joey's an Aquarius like you are."

"Oh." He returns to the discussion between him, Andi and JC.

"Lance, can I call you James?"

"Only if I can call you Sam."
I put my hand out to shake on the deal and we shake hands. "Deal." I smile and blush. We finish dinner. Chris and Andi put the left overs away. I washed the dishes, Lance dried them, JC put them away, and Justin cleared and wiped down the table.

"You know, I enjoy your company. I wouldn't be so interested in you, if I wasn't."

"I kinda figured. I enjoy your company too."

Justin's getting anxious. "C'mon, Lance. Me and momma have to bring her home to grab some clothes. We're coming right back."

I smile at Lance. "We'll be right back, James." I get into Lynn's car and we pull away.

Lynn takes this opportunity to ask me how I feel about Lance. "Jazzy, do you like Lance?"

"He's sweet, intelligent and I love his eyes."

"I know there's more than that."
"His voice is soothing. I love his accent. I think I do, yeah."

Justin had to remind me he was in the back seat. "You have a crush on Lance?"

"I'm not answering that. Not for you."

"You answered it for momma!"

"She's a girl."

"So? I didn't hear your answer."

"Good. Maybe you won't be able to blab about it. Justin, you're a cool guy-"

"I feel a 'but' coming on."

"But, you're better as a friend."

We pull up to my house and I dash in ahead of Justin, who's hot on my heels, and Lynn. Lynn calmly walks up to my mom and Justin follows me up the stairs to my room. I have my bag half put together when I hear him shut my door. "Here's the deal-you tell me if you have a crush on Lance and why, I'll let you get your bag ready to go alone. I'll wait at the top of the stairs."

I look at the ceiling, frustrated. "No way Jose."

"C'mon, just tell me if you like him."

"I like all of you, even Andi, cuz you're all so unique."

"Really, I just wanna know if you have a huge crush on him."

"If I told you who I have a wicked crush on, will you keep your end of the deal and drop it?"

"Yes."

I whisper in his ear. "Now, you have to keep your end of the bargain and drop it."

He's surprised. "Why him?"

"Cuz I just do. Now, you keep your end of it."

"But-"
"Eh!"

He sighs and goes to sit at the top of the stairs and I close my door. I laugh to myself. "He's never gonna meet him." I finish packing my clothes, journal and music for the rest of the week. I planned on staying till friday morning because they didn't have to head out till late morning, I think. Lynn said JC would drop me off on the way to the airport. I head downstairs and Justin foollows me. I give my mom a hug. "I will call you tomorrow after dinner. I'll be home Friday. And I love you."

"I love you too." She hands me a key and I look at her. "House key. Here's a ten dollar advancement on your allowance so you can get a few keychains." She hands me a ten dollar bill. "Go have fun with your new friends and call me tomorrow." She guides me over to Lynn. "Be good and don't get in trouble. Lynn, feel free to call me if she gets out of line."

Lynn smiles at me. "I'm sure she'll behave for me. If she doesn't, I can always let Andi have her study with the boys."

"Works for me."

I look back and forth between Ma, Lynn and Justin. Justin was rolling his eyes and groaning while both of our moms were smiling. Lynn leads us out the car while Justin and I lag behind. "What's so bad about rehearsing with you guys and Andi in charge?"

"You'll see tomorrow. Momma says you're going with us to the warehouse."

I shrug and get in the car, making sure to buckle up. We drive back to their house. JC, Chris and Lance are in the living room. JC decides to groan at the sight of me. "Am I the her keeper tomorrow, Lynn?"

"Only while you're out and about."

I have my bag crossing my body and cross my arms over my chest. "What do you have against me, Josh?"

"Now I'm Josh to you?"

"Yeah, only cuz you're being a butt head."

"I don't like being peoples' or kids' keepers."

"Oh, well, cuz I'm here till you drop me off on the way to the airport Friday."

I see Lance pump a fist in the air behind JC as he puts his head in his hands. "Why? Don't you have school?"
"Not till Monday."

"Maybe Andi can have you rehearse with us."

"I don't see what's so bad about that."

JC looks near the living room door, wondering who he's looking at, and Andi looks around the corner at me with an evil smile on her face. I hear Justin groan again. "Now you're gonna be tortured."

Andi nods. "Another person to teach." She turns back around and Lance jumps up, coming straight for me.

Lance smiles at me. "You can have my bed and I'll stay on the extra mattress out here."

I hear Lynn behind me. "That's very sweet of you, Lance."

"Thank you. She is a lady."

I hear mumbled conversation and comments coming from the living room. "Someone disagrees in there."
"They always have to disagree about something."

We get near Lynn and she stops us. "Lance, you won't try anything right?"

"No, I won't."
"You can sleep in that room with her if you'd like. On the extra bed."

"Ok. Thanks. This way, Sam."

He leads me to his room. "James, why doesn't JC like me?"

"He's kinda like our dad, keeps us in check and probably views you as another person to keep in line. You can put your bag here. We usually battle over the bathroom in the morning. We have rehearsal tomorrow from 7 in the morning till Andi feels ready to let us go."

"How long could that be?"

"Considering that she's a perfectionist and sometimes we get on her nerves, it could be until dinner time tomorrow night."

I shrug. "I'm game."

Lance looks at me, confused. "What do you mean by that?"

"I can dance forever, if I had to."

"Really? That would be so cool if you did rehearse with us."
"For sure. I'll sit through a run through to see what I can pick up and then jump in."

Andi comes in the room. "Works for me. have you danced before?"

"I've danced on my own, with friends and it's all for fun and talent shows."

"What did you place?"

"In the talent shows, we were always in the top 5."

"Wow. How many did you actually win?"

"On average, the performances I was in, 5 outta 7 of all of them."

"You won most of them?"

"Yes, I have videos and papers and ribbons for them."

"How many did you do and since when?"

"I've done over 70 that I have gotten recognition for in just the past 3 1/2 years. I've done somewhere near 120 altogether and I did some alone and some with two of my best friends. I came up with most of the moves and I let my friends have their say on it."

She taps her chin with her finger and walks out of them room. I look at Lance. "What was that about?"

He shrugs. "I have no idea."

"Can I throw my bag by the window?"

"Sure. We should go in the living room before they start planning pranks."

"Alright," I say with a chuckle. I put my bag between his bed and the window. He wraps his arm around my waist and leads me back to the living room. We sit on the loveseat cuz that's all was available. Everyone kinda chuckles. "What's so funny?"

Andi smiles from her seat on the floor and everyone else looks at Chris, who shakes his head. "Oh, nothing. Justin told a joke and JC just caught it." He smiles at us.

I'm sitting with my back against Lance's side and he has his arm around me, his hand resting on my stomach. I smile and put my right hand on his, both of which were subconscious. I was just so comfortable around him. Lance and I start whispering back and forth about what they've seen in Europe, what they're gonna do, what they've already accomplished, and how different it really is there. He tells a few stories about each of them and I giggle every time because they're funny stories and he gets so animated about it. JC stands up. "I think we should get some sleep, we have to be up early." Everyone but Lance and I groan. Lance and I get up and head to his and Joey's room. JC grabs Lance's arm. "Whoa. What do you think you're doing?"

"Sharing a room with Jazzy."

"No way."

"Lynn said it was ok and she trusts us not to do anything. Joey's not here and I don't think he'd have an issue with me borrowing his bed."

JC doesn't look away from us. "Lynn!"

I see her come from the kitchen. "What do you need, JC?"

"Did you say that Lance and Jazzy could share the room?"

"Yes, I did. I trust that Lance will sleep in Joey's bed across the room from his own and Jazzy will sleep in Lance's bed. I trust that nothing will happen between them. I believe the worst that could happen is they fall asleep sitting up, like they sat on the couch. You know Lance respects girls."

JC is visibly agitated and scowls at us before walking away. We shrug it off and head into the room. Lance closes the door. "James, don't turn around, please."

"Changing?"

"Yes." I change into my pjs within a couple minutes. "All set. Do you need to change?"

"Nope. I got in a quick shower and got mine on while you got your stuff."

I really look at him. He has basketball type shorts and a men's tank top on. I nod. "Ok. I'm not really all that tired yet."

"We can sit up on my bed and talk."
"Can I sit in front of you?"

"Ohhhkaaaayyyy."

"Either that or balance your butt between the bed and wall so I can sit like we did on the couch."

"I think it's safer if you sat in front of me."

"That's why I said it." I smile.

He climbs on his bed and sits down, leaning his pillows against his headboard before sitting back. He holds his arms out and I sit in front of him. We start talking about the plans for the next few days before they leave for Germany. I glanced at the clock and I swear it said 11:27p.

Jazzy is surprised, I should have warned her about Joey and his camera. "Ahhhhh! Who're you?" Andi, Justin, Joey and Chris are laughing.

I wake up and realize Joey has the light on. "Joey, it's too early for that."

"James, that's Joey?" I look at her, seeing she's still tired and nod. "Joey, please turn that off."

Joey complies with her request. "Only because you said 'please'." He makes a pouting face.

"Thanks." She turns her face to my chest and starts to fall asleep again.

Andi claps her hands, knowing it gets on our nerves. "Get up, Lance. Rise and grind! Jazzy, come on."

"Is she always this peppy?"

"When she gets up before us, she is." I look at Andi. "Come on, Andi. Be nice, please."

Andi crosses her arms over her chest. "Why should I?"

"She just moved over 1500 miles from everything she knew and we just met her yesterday."

"So?"

JC comes in the room. "So, just be nice." Andi walks out of the room. "Come on, Lance, Jazzy. We have to get to rehearsal before Darren gets pissed. Andi'll get over it, most likely by having us do 250 sit ups or something."

"What time is it?" She sits Indian style on my bed in front of me.

"Six in the morning, Jazzy." She groans and I rub her hand. "You don't have to come. We can probably show you after we get back from rehearsal." I get up and let her lay down. I cover her up with my extra blanket.

"Mmm, ok."

Andi is tapping her foot. "Let's go guys."

I look at Andi. "Let me grab a quick shower. Ten minutes." I grab my clothes and towel before dashing for the bath room. I strip and get in the shower, letting it hit my back as I wash my hair. I start thinking. 'Why do I like Jazzy? I enjoy her company and really like her personality. Why risk it? Might turn into a good thing. Why lead her on? I can't tell anyone yet. I like her but not like that. Maybe I can set her up with Justin or JC.' I'm rinsing my body as I get ready to get out when I hear someone knocking on the door. "Yeah?"

"You almost done in there? We leave in five." It's JC. "Andi's getting uptight and is talking in code with Justin, so the sooner we leave..."

I pull my jeans on and open the door. I have my shirt in one hand, my towel and dirty clothes in the other. I walk in my room to put my towel and clothes in the hamper, completely forgetting Jazzy's there. I hear an 'mmmmm' from under my blanket causing me to remember she's here until we leave Friday. I blush and quickly put my shirt on. "Be back as soon as we can. If we don't make it back for lunch, I'll call you while I eat."

Jazzy smiles. "Ok, see you when you get back, James."

I smile, grab my socks and shoes, and bolt for the door. I get in the van as JC, Andi, Joey, Justin, and Chris look at me. I look at each of them. "What?" I have no clue why they're looking at me like that.

JC tries not to laugh. "It's just funny that you like her and we only met her yesterday."

"So? You act like you've never liked a girl right after meeting her."

"I have. Just haven't made it as obvious as you are."

I put my socks on. "JC, she's a friend."

Joey chuckles. "Who you seem to really like more than that."

"I don't, Joey."

"That's not what this video says, Lance." Joey lifts the camera.

"Whatever, Joey." I keep my behaviors calm, but my mind is racing. 'Is it THAT obvious? How is it obvious? What are they talking about?' I get my shoes on and tied by the time we pull up to the warehouse. We get inside and start to rehearse. I notice how Andi is talking to Darren more than usual as they watch us. We bust our asses.

~~~~~

Ok, I'm trying to fall asleep again since Andi and the guys left for rehearsal. I'm only getting cat naps that last about ten minutes. I keep waking up and thinking about Lance and this morning. 'Does he like me more than he wants to admit? Why did Joey have to wake me up that way? Does Andi not like me? Why does JC seem irritated with me, by me? Justin is cool. There's something about James that just attracts me to him. Why James? JC is cute, but he's too old and he seems like he's in love with someone.' "I have way too much on my mind." I sit up and look at the clock on Joey's nightstand. It's already 8:03. I lay across the bed, grab my towel, clothes, and shower stuff. I go out of the room in search for Lynn. "Lynn?"

"In the kitchen, Jazzy."

I walk into the kitchen. "May I take a shower? And where is the bathroom?"

"Yes and from Lance's room, you take a left and it should be right in front of you."

"Thanks, Lynn. Um, after that, could I talk to you?"

"Sure."

"Thanks." I go into the bathroom, close the door, set up my clothes, towel and shower supplies before I disrobe and get in the shower. I see a radio in the corner near the shower. I turn it on, find a station that plays a mix of the more popular music and have it just loud enough for me to hear it over the water. I wash my hair and body before I shave. I stand under the water and let it hit my body as I think. 'James is sweet and has piercing green eyes. He respects me. He is cute. He is in shape, like I am. He's intelligent. I enjoy his company. I guess I could let my guard down. If I do, I might get hurt. They leave Friday and who knows what kinda guy he is. He's gonna be 17. I'm only turning 14. Justin's 15, but I don't look at him like that. I like Justin, but more of like a best friend or brother than someone I could-' Lynn knocks on the bathroom door. "Yeah?"
"Are you ok in there, Jazzy?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Be out in a minute."

"Ok. Do you still want to talk after?"

"Yes, please."

"Would you like me to make you something for breakfast?"

"Um, please? 3 eggs, scrambled with cheese on top? A piece of wheat toast?"

"Sure. That's no problem."

"Thank you." I turn the water off and get out. I wrap the towel around my body, shaking my head clear of Lance, Justin and JC. 'Get your mind clear. They're just your new friends, you don't know them well enough to get involved. Talk to Lynn about James and Justin.' I get dressed in a camo tank top, overalls, socks, and sneakers. I put my dirty clothes next to my bag and pull my extra bag out, putting the clothes I wore yesterday in it. I put my shower stuff between the bags and head for the kitchen. I sit down as Lynn puts my plate on the table. "Thank you, Mrs. Harless."
"Just call me Lynn, Jazz."

"Ok. Um, I wanna know something about a couple of the guys."
"Depends on which ones you're talking about."

I take a bite of the eggs and swallow. "Well, I kind of hit it off with Justin and James."

"You and Lance clicked more than you and Justin did."

"Well, I wanna get to know them better. Maybe you could kind of tell me what they're like?"

"Honey, all I can tell you is what I know about Lance. Justin is a little easier to talk about."
"Ok. What's Justin like?"

"Justin's a pretty good kid. He hardly gets in trouble and he's a sweet boy. He's usually very out going and respectful. He can be very understanding."

"What about James?"

"He's from Clinton, Mississippi. He's very sweet, respectful and intelligent. Both are understanding and are sometimes polar opposites. Lance isn't as good when it comes down to learning the dance moves as the other 4 boys."

"I can try to help him."

"Why are you asking about Justin and Lance?"

"I just wanna know. Justin and JC told me about Joey and Chris. JC told me about himself. Justin kind of didn't say much about himself."

"Do you have a crush on Lance and Justin?"

"Well, I like Justin's personality."

"What about Lance?"

"Um, uh, well, I don't know, maybe."

"It's ok, I won't tell the boys."

"I do like James a lot. I like how smart he is, his eyes, his personality, his company, how we can talk about almost everything, and how he encourages me to do my best at everything."

"You seem to have really connected with Lance."

"Well, why does JC seem so irrtated when it comes to me?"

"Oh, he's like the oldest brother or like the dad out of the boys. He helps to keep them in line."

"Isn't Chris the oldest?"

"Yes. He just wants to relax and hang out. He'd rather have fun, instead of always being serious. Joey is the one that tapes everything."
"I know that. He taped James and I sleeping this morning."

"That's what the scream was?"

"Yeah, me completely caught off guard first thing in the morning with a bright light and camera in my face."

Lynn laughs for a second. "I've gotten used to it. They video tape pranks, road trips, and anything else Joey thinks is worth taping. He taped most of our trip to Germany."

"Wow. Well, is there anything else I should know?"

"Joey is with Kelly and Chris is with Dani. The other three boys don't have girlfriends. Maybe you could get to know them a little better. To be honest I think you're a bit young for JC."
"I don't really like him. I mean, he can be nice and I've had a crush on him, but it's like the kinda thing where you look up to someone."

"Like a role model."
"Yes." I take my last bite and wash my dish. "Lynn, do you think we could go key chain shopping?"

"Sure. Go grab the money your mom gave you and we can get to know each other better, while we're out."

"Thanks, Lynn."

We head out to the store and bond while we're out. She asks a few personal questions. "Jazz, where's your dad?"

"He left Ma and I the summer I was four, just up and left. Haven't heard from or seen him since."

"So it's been just the two of you for the past few years?"

"This summer will be 9 years on our own."

"Wow. Your mom says you get good grades but have an attention disorder."

"Yeah, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. I have a short attention span if I'm not interested, no matter how hard I try. I can't sit still, almost always in motion. Music, dance and singing are my passions. I use them to reward myself after I finish my homework. It takes me twice or three times as long as most of the kids in my class to finish an assignment. I write my spelling and vocabulary words again and again, until they flow from my pencil without a mistake. I'm not great at math, mainly multiplication and division. I'm really good at writing, history and science."

"You'll get better."
"Or just use a calculator for my homework and hope to pass with at least 87s on the math tests."

"Why do you expect to get such high grades?"

"To me, anything below that is unacceptable." We pick out a keychain for my house key and I use the rest of my allowance to get a new journal, some colored gel pens, and colored pencils before we head back to the house. We get back around 11:30 and start making lunch for ourselves. I hear the phone ring and look at Lynn. She nods to let me know it's ok to answer it. "Hello?"

"Hey, I told you I'd call when we stopped to have lunch. Shut up, guys."

I giggle. "Thanks for keeping your word, James." I look at Lynn and smile.

"I hope everything is ok between you and Lynn."

"Yeah, I got myself a keychain and some writing stuff."

"How'd you do that?"

"My mom gave me a $10 foward on my allowance."

"Oh. So, how was your morning after we left? Quit it, Justin."

"They're teasing you?"

"Yeah. They think we're dating."
"Not unless someone asks."
"Really?"

"Yeah. Maybe the other would have an answer by the time you came back from Europe."

"Well, maybe we can talk about this later?"

"Of course, James." I'm twisting a strand of hair on my finger, smiling. "I would like to know you better first. That's why we would stay in touch while you're out there and talk. The person who was asked would have an answer for the one who asked when you come home."

"That won't be till the end of this year or next year."

"That'll give us about a year to get to know each other."

"What if you start seeing someone while I'm gone?"

"I'll tell you."

"Ok. Honesty will be the foundation of our friendship then?"

"Of course, James. Without honesty, what is there?"
"Good point. Well, I'm being told we have to get back to rehearsing."

"Talk to you when you come home for dinner?"

"Yeah. Maybe you can watch us rehearse after dinner in the back yard."

"Ok. See ya then." We hang up and I stand at the counter next to Lynn.

She lightly touches my shoulder. "Who called, Jazz?"

"Oh, James. He called like he said he would."

"What did you talk about?"

"That if one of us asked the other out, there would be an answer to that question when you came back home for good."

"Honey, what do you mean by 'for good'?"

"When they come home and it's longer than a couple weeks."

"What else did you talk about?"

"If I started to see someone, I'd tell him and that the guys are teasing him for liking me."

"Oh, they constantly tease each other. Well, either way, I'm sure you'll be great friends and be close."

"I'm hoping he asks."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I just want him to figure it out on his own."

"You like him that much to let him be your first boyfriend?"
"Yeah, I do like him. I just hope nobody else comes along and distracts me."

We laugh.  

~~~~~

Andi has been causing Darren to nit pick every little thing today and we've only been here just under 7 hours. Jeez, Andi, what did who do to set you off today?

"Alright, good run though. JC, you're half a beat ahead still. Lance, what's up with you? Your focus is off. Joey, stop being a ham. We have three more days to get the routines down before you go back to Europe for a tour. C'mon, guys. Justin, your focus is slipping, too. Come over here, Justin and Lance." Justin and Lance look at each other, worried about what Darren has to say. They follow him to the other side of the room and he signals Andi to keep rehearsals going. "What is up with your guys' focus?"

Justin and Lance rub the back of their necks and blush. Justin smiles. "Nothing?" he says shrugging.

"Justin, I know you better than this. SOMETHING is breaking your focus."

Lance caves. "We met this girl, Jazzy, yesterday and I kinda like her."

Darren looks at Lance. "You like a girl? Have you told her?"

"Yeah, she's so smart, honest and amazing. I-I-I'm scared to tell her that I like her."

"Get your mind back on the moves and worry about this girl later. Go and rehearse now." Lance walks back to the other guys and Andi, falling into the routine. Darren turns to Justin, who's glaring at Lance, to find out what's bugging the youngest member of the quintet. Darren mentally notes the look in Justin's eye before asking him again. "Justin. What's up with you? You're never off step," he points out, crossing his arms over his chest to wait for the soon to be 15 year old's answer.

"Obviously, it's Lance."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I thought she likes me. I like her. I thought I'd be able to date her by the end of this week, but I guess I have some competition."

Darren tries to hold back a laugh. "Whoa! Justin, first off, girls are very confusing. Second, this girl hasn't made a choice. Third, she JUST met you guys in the past day, day and a half. Fourth, you're gonna be in Europe, touring at the end of the week. Fifth, most long distance relationships DON'T work. Sixth, you don't even know her. Seventh, you're rushing head long into this and will end up being hurt. Lance is taking the time to get to know her and you're probably sitting back, hoping she comes to you while he's initiating interaction with her. Think this through."

Justin knits his eyebrows together as he listens and thinks. He lets his face soften and his body loosen. "I guess you're right, D. What should I do?"

"Talk to Lance on the way home and talk to her alone."

Justin nods before turning around to join his bandmates in their rehearsal, falling right in line with their rehearsal. JC looks at me out of the corner of his eye, noticing that the older teen is focusing harder after having spoken to Darren. JC realizes that Justin is also more precise with his choreography since being pulled aside as well. Lance sees JC watching both Justin and himself since they fell back into their places smoothly. 'What's the big deal with me liking Jazzy? Why does she get to me like this? Why do I let her? Why is everyone focused on me and Justin? Does he like her too?' He makes sure to hit all the moves in time with the other four guys.

Andi is smiling as they wrap up the dance for 'Tearing Up My Heart'. "Alright, guys, Darren's gonna lead the set list choreography and let's really focus on getting through it once or twice. Try to make it as flawless as you can, especially you, Lance."

I nod and get into position for the beginning of the set for their upcoming tour. 'Why is Andi being such a hard ass? Is it because Jazzy's around? Could it be that she's nervous about the tour? Does she feel threatened by Jazzy? Why do I keep thinking of her? I hope saying I like her didn't start a problem.' I focus on exicuting all the steps as we go through the set list. We go through the whole set three times.

Darren looks at the time. "Alright, that's it. You guys nailed it completely on the third run through. Go home."

JC looks at the clock on his cell phone. "It's only going on four. We can run through it three more times."

"JC, go home. You want to still work on it, do it at home. Have this girl you guys met yesterday help out Andi and learn the moves."

I watch JC sigh and hold his head. "D, she is just so annoying and too full of energy. She talks entirely too much."
I've had it with him acting like she's just an annoying little sister, without giving her the benefit of the doubt and getting to know her. "Maybe if you really took the time to know her, you wouldn't feel that way. She's a nice girl and if you really talked to her asked her questions that you want the answers to, you'd think differently about her. Anyone else have a problem with Jazzy?"

Joey shakes his head. "I actually like her, like a little sister. She's nice, polite and actually pretty funny."

I look at Chris. "I like her. She has a great personality, sense of humor and she has as much energy as I do, if not more."

"Justin, do you have a problem with Jazzy?"

He looks at me and shakes his head. "No, I actually like her. She's a sweet girl and is considerate of us all. She has a crush on JC and he hasn't liked her cuza how she told him. He was picking on me about liking her and she stepped right in and said it, just to take the focus off of me."

"Andi?"

"I don't like her. She seems stuck up and focuses on you way too much. She flirted with JC right in front of Chris and Justin yesterday in the yard. Then, she had the audacity to flirt with you from the time she came back into the house until we left this morning."

JC is looking at Andi in complete shock. "Neither of us were flirting. She wanted my opinion. She asked my advice for dealing with the heartache of leaving friends behind. I mean, I am aware she has a crush on me. I think it's more of an admiration kind of thing, but I could be wrong. I told her she's far too young for me and she seemed to take it just fine. She clicked with Justin and, yes, on the walk back to the house she DID flirt with Justin. The blame can't be on just her for that because he was doing it to start with and did nothing to stop her from flirting with him. We all know how Justin can get around girls like her."

I look at Justin before looking back at JC. "Why don't YOU like her? Be honest about it."

"I don't like her because she has far too much energy, talks too much, has an opinion for everything, flirts with you, me and Justin too much. More with you two than me, thank goodness. She's too nice and she just seems fickle to me."

"Actually, I found out last night that she does like me and she said it's because of my personality and intelligence. She likes Justin for his humor. She doesn't intentionally flirt with you because you told her she's too young for you. You make her nervous, but your intelligence also intrigues her, as mine does. She just wants to have someone help her to learn new things and she knows you, me, Joey and Chris would be able to teach her things about history, music, and so many other things that she'd like to know. But of course YOU won't give her the time of day to teach her how to play guitar or keyboards. You won't even help her figure out how to set her poems to music and convert them to lyrics. She wants to learn and she's always ready to learn something new, you just have to take the time and patience to teach her something."

"Is that what you two were talking about almost all night after she got back from her house?"

"Yeah, I told her she should just walk up to you, JC, and tickle you till you give in. She laughed and said that it would be mean to do that to you."

"Wow. I thought she was just another irritation I'd have to chaperone for the next three days."

"Now, don't you feel like an idiot?"

JC nods. "I guess we should head home and get showers. Maybe she'll help make us something to eat? You should call and see what she says."

I cross my arms over my chest. "You want to know, you call the house and ask her yourself."

JC sighs, hanging his head, as he pulls out his cell phone. He dials the house and waits for someone to pick up. I'm hoping it's Jazz. He look at me like he wants to punch me in the face. "Hello? Hi, Jazzy. It's JC. I was wondering if you'd be willing to make us something to eat because we'll be on our way home. I'm starving and I'm pretty sure the other guys are pretty hungry as well." He looks at Justin, Chris, Joey and myself. We all nod in response. "Yeah, they're very hungry too. Hey, can I talk to you after we shower and eat? Alright. That's fine. Oh, Jazz? Thanks." He looks at the phone. "She hung up on me."

I look at him. "So? Is she willing to make us something?"

"She said she can whip something up, but it's gonna take about 45 minutes."

"Let's sit down for a few minutes and let our heartrates even out before heading out for the half hour drive back home."

We all sit down and imagine what she could make in 45 minutes. We come up with some pretty out there ideas. After almost twenty minutes, we head out to the car to go home. Andi's still pretty tiffed. She doesn't say a word to me all the way home.

~~~~~

Lynn and I were watching a movie when the phone ring. "Go ahead and find out who it is, Jazzy. Could be Lance again."

I calmly get up and answer the phone in the hallway. "Hello?"

"Hello? Hi, Jazzy. It's JC."

"What's on your mind?"

"I was wondering if you'd be willing to make us something to eat because we'll be on our way home."

"Why?"

"I'm starving and I'm pretty sure the other guys are pretty hungry as well."

"Can you just make sure? Is Andi hungry too?"

"Yeah, they're very hungry too."

"Ok. I'm gonna let-"

"Hey, can I talk to you after we shower and eat?"

"Of course you can. It's what friends do for each other. Listen and talk."

"Alright."

"I'll let you eat in peace and wait outside for you."

"That's fine. Oh, Jazz?"

My mind was racing as I tried to think of what he could want to talk about. "Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. Give me 45 minutes." I hang up and quickly think of what I could make. "Lynn, do you have velveeta block cheese?"

"Write out what you need and I'll tell you if we have it. If we don't, I can go get it for you."

I grab a piece of paper and a pen to write out what I need.

'Velveeta block cheese, elbow mac, milk, chicken, broccoli, carrots, potatoes, Itl'n seasonings, and onion.'

Lynn scurries around the kitchen and grabs all the things on my list, putting them on the counter closest to the stove. She grabs the pots and pans I'll need to make the food, putting containers aside for after I made them. "Thanks, Lynn."

"Need help?"

"I forgot butter."
She grabs it from the fridge and puts it with the rest of the ingredients. "There you go."

"Thank you and yes, I would love your help. Homemade mashed potatoes, baked chicken, broccoli, carrots, and homemade mac and cheese."

"Trying to impress someone?"

"No, it's just what came to mind when JC asked if I would make them something to eat for when they got back."

"Well, Andi and the boys are going to be happy and impressed." She kisses me on the forehead and I smile.

"I say let's get this show on the road." We bake the chicken breasts, cook the veggies, boil the elbow mac and potatoes and melt the cheese. We talk and laugh as we cook and bake everything for them. We pull out the chicken and finish making up their plates as they come in the door. "Hey, Andi, guys."

They all grumble various forms of 'hi' until they see the food. JC and Lance's faces light up. Lance hugs me and sits down, pulling Justin and Chris into the chairs beside him. JC walks over with a huge smile on his face. "Jazz, is this for the six of us?"

I nod and smile. "Yes, Lynn helped. Baked BBQ chicken breasts, home made mashed potatoes, home made mac and cheese, broccoli and carrots."

"It looks good. Thanks." He hugs me, completely appreciative of the food. "Lance is right."

"Wha-" I shake my head. "Just eat your fill. I'll eat after you're all done."

"Eat with us."

"No, you guys eat your fill first with Lynn. I'll wait outside in the yard like I said. I could use the time outside to get my thoughts in order anyway. Enjoy it." I gently push him. "Go ahead." I head outside and try to calm my nerves, to get my mind cleared. I'm leaning against the fence and relax with my eyes closed, playing some light music from the boombox Lynn was letting me use. I had set up the boom box earlier and had my Boyz II Men 'II' cd playing. I started with 'Jezzabel'. I sit there and quietly sing along with it, smiling.

~~~~~

She made us a 5 course meal and let us eat our fill while she cleared her mind. "I told you she is considerate of others."

After we say Grace, JC is surprised and keeps looking at her through the window. "Totally selfless, too. I feel so bad that she made this and won't even eat with us." I can tell JC's thinking by how slow he's eating. He gets up and makes another plate, bringing it outside to Jazzy.

I smile as he grabs his plate. "Going to get to know her?"

"Yeah, seeing as I'm the only one who hasn't given her a chance out of us guys."

I nod and he goes in the backyard carrying two plates to her. He's giving her the chance to know him and she'll let him get to know her. 

~~~~

I sit there, relaxed and wait for the guys and Andi to eat their fill. "Is there room for one more to sit here?"

I look and JC has two plates in his hands. "Sure. Hungry?"

He carefully hands me a plate. "This one's for you. You worked so hard on it. I decided that since you took the time to make it, you should eat with us somehow."

I take the plate, smiling. "Thank you."

"I appreciate how much trouble you went through to make this and that you even did it, after how I treated you yesterday." He sits down next to me. "Lance is right. You are sweet, selfless, considerate, a good listener, and very caring."

"What made you listen to him?"

"Well, it's kind of hard to not listen to him when he's angry like he was. He kinda snapped on me and Andi, saying that if we'd get to know you better that we'd learn to like and appreciate you."

I smile and blush. "Well, I can be a good friend or your worst enemy. It all depends on how you treat me and place me in life. If you appreciate, respect and cherish me, I'll be there to help you, defend you, and cherish you. If you choose not to, I won't do anything to help you. I have a big heart, but I can only take so much pain before I walk away from someone for good."

"I understand where you're coming from. For being so young, you really are very intelligent."

"Thank you. Lance told me that you're the musical genius. I've been trying to teach myself to play guitar, but I left my guitar back home with my best friend, Dawn."

"I can teach you on mine. It's no problem. So, do you like Lance?"

"Well, he is sweet, selfless, caring, intellgent and has the MOST beautiful green eyes I have ever seen."

"That doesn't answer my question. Him, as a person, not what you like about him." JC is smiling as he takes a pretty big bite of the mac and cheese, the first bite I'm guessing. "Mmmm, this is some good macaroni! I'm gonna havta tell Lynn to have you give her the recipe."

I giggle. "She helped make it all. Thank you. I do like James and I would like to give him the chance."

"So, mmmmm, what would it take for him to get the chance?"

"Just if he'd ask."

"That's it? Sounds simple enough."

"But I wouldn't give him an answer until you boys come home from Europe again. Which would give us the chance to get to know each other better."

JC nods. "Oh, I'm loving your mac and cheese. Understandable, though. Stronger friendship."

"Stronger foundation and base to build upon."

"If the relationship fails?"
"A beautiful friendship to fall back on and build on again, to have a more endearing friendship, I hope."

"You have a positive outlook. That's so hard to find. Lance says you write poems and would like to convert them into songs."

I smile shyly. "I do. I would love to make them into songs."

"I'll see what I can do to help you with that."

"Thanks. I appreciate that you're willing to take the time to help me with that."

"As long as you're good to us, we'll help you. Lance and Andi both say you like to dance?"

"I love to dance. I've done over 120 competitions, 70 of which were judged, all done for fun. I came up with the majority of the moves and my friends helped. I sang for some of them." I hear 'All Around The World' play and sing with it, subconsciously.

"That's Boyz II Men, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is. Music is a very central part of my life when I need it most. It can motivate me, calm me, or just make me feel better. I love music."

"What's your favorite song?"

"Boyz II Men's 'Jezzabel' is my absolute favorite."

"Do you have that song?"

"I do. This is their second album they titled 'II'. Let me find it." I find the track and play it, quietly singing with it.

JC bobs his head with it as he finishes his food. The song finishes and he smiles, looking at me. "That's a good song. Do you have any other cd's or tapes out here?"

"I have old mix tapes and all my cd's just behind the radio. Why?"

"I wanna see if you have anything I like." He gets up after putting his plate on the picnic table, goes through my tapes and he gets a confused look on his face. "They all say 'Mix Tape' and a number. Except for these. 'Jazz Mix'? Let's try this one. I love Jazz music."

I lightly laugh. "Irony, in and of itself."

"Why do you-oh, your nickname." He laughs as he presses play on the tape player. "I love this song! It's not Jazz music."

"No, it's a mix tape my friends made before I left. It was their Christmas and birthday present for me. They recorded all the songs they know I love listening to and put it on a mix tape."

"That's sweet. Guess we can listen to it. Have you listened to it yet?"

I finish my food and put the plate in front of me. "No, I haven't. I know my friends, though. They know me better than most people would care to know."

"That's kinda like me and Justin. We know each other better than the other guys. I know Joey better than Justin and Lance. Chris knows Joey better than those two as well. We've all gotten to know Lance over the past year, year and a half. The five of us have become like brothers and best friends. We can get on each other's nerves and sometimes we do, but we still love and respect each other."

"The two girls that made the tape we're listening to are my sisters. I love and miss them so much." I cover my face with my hands and shake it.

JC puts his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into a comforting hug. "That's how I feel about my friend, Kace. I haven't seen him in six years, but I talk to him all the time."

"Long distance friendships work better than relationships?" I look up at him and he looks down at me.

He smiles and kisses my forehead. "That is just so...sweet. Yes, friendships are better long distance than having a boyfriend or girlfriend long distance." He chuckles. "Are you always in 'ready to learn' mode?"

"Pretty much, yeah. I love learning."

"Stay right here, I'm gonna go grab something from my room."

"JC."

"Huh?"

"Can you put our plates in the sink, please?"

"Sure." He grabs our plates and runs inside. He comes back out a few minutes later with an acoustic guitar. He turns off the tape player. "I wanna play something for you."

"Old or new?"

"Old, but nobody's heard it in awhile."

I look at him, curious and interested. "Ok."

"Keep in mind that I love all my friends and will always be their 'man'. It's called 'Now & Forever'. It was done for MMC but I thought it'd make you feel a little better." I nod and he tunes the guitar before starting to play.

Whenever I'm weary from the battles that rage in my head

You make sense of madness

When my sanity hangs by a thread

I lose my way but still you seem to understand

Now and forever, I will be your man

Sometimes I just hold you

Too caught up to see

The fortune that Heaven has given to me

I'll try to show you each and every way I can

Now & forever, I will be your man

Now I can rest my worries and always be sure

That I won't be alone anymore

If I'd only known you were there all the time

All this time

Until the day the ocean doesn't touch the sand

Now & forever, I will be your man

Now & forever, I will be your man

I hug him. "Thank you, Josh."

"I will be the man you can turn to for a friend, a shoulder to cry on, someone to lean on, someone to talk to, someone to hear you out, for now and forever. Kinda like a close surrogate brother." He pushes away slowly and smiles at me. "Ok? Deal?"

"Yeah. Deal. Same here."

"Wanna learn to play it?"

"Sure." I smile. He puts the guitar in my hands and slowly teaches me to play it.

"You have small hands. You might have some trouble playing some of the notes."

"Let me try."

"Ok. This is the intro through to the end of the first verse." He slowly teaches my fingers, eyes and mind how to play the song. We slowly get through it in 45 mins and I practice it a few times as he sings along. An hour and a half passes as we practice 'Now & Forever'. He's surprised and laughs. "Wow. You learned that pretty quickly." He looks at the sky. "I haven't seen a sunset in long time."

"Maybe it's symbolic of today."
"How do you figure that?"

"You finally took the time to actually open your eyes and see the beauty in someone else, so God took the time to make sure you'd see a beautiful sunset."

He smiles and pulls me so I'm leaning on him, rubbing my arm. We sit there for a few more minutes, not saying anything before we grab the radio, guitar, my tapes and cd's to go inside. "You really are an optimist and very intelligent. I'll hint to Lance about what you told me. It's refreshing how we spent that long talking and teaching you that song."

"It was refreshing to talk with you and learning the song."

He ruffles my hair. "You're a sweet kid."

"Are we getting along and friends now?"

"I wanna say we're on the way to it."

"Works for me. I'm gonna go sit with James."

He lightly shoves me toward the living room. "Go to him and make sure to smile." He pulls me close enough to whisper in my ear. "Hug him. FYI-he really likes you too."

I look at him like 'really?' and he nods his head, turning and pushing me toward the living room again. I go in the living room, walk over to Lance, smile as our eyes meet, and hug him. I sit with him just like the night before. "What did you guys talk about?"

"Anything, everything, nothing."

"Specifically?"

"Friends, music, and how what you told JC about me was right."

"Can we talk alone?"

"Of course."

He leads me to his room and he sits back against his head board. I leave the door open enough for Lynn, Andi and the other guys to know that we're still awake. He sits Indian style and I sit on his lap, facing him with my butt in the center of his folded legs. "I was thinking about how you said about one of us asking the other out, to be together. You said something about an answer being given when we come back home."

"Yeah?" 'I wanna kiss him.'

"Would you like to be my girlfriend?"

I blink my eyes, thinking I heard wrong. "Huh?"
"Would you like to be my girlfriend?"

'I REALLY wanna kiss him.' "Would you think I was saying 'yes' if I kissed you right now?" 'Good job fucking this up, cassinova!'

"Depending on how you kiss me, I might." He's nervous cuz he's swallowing alot.

I softly kiss his lips, he wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer for a harder kiss. He puts all his emotions into it. I see a light shining brightly through my eyelids and flip off Joey's camera before hearing JC. "Hey! None of that!" We keep kissing and start to make out. "Ding, ding, ding!" I reach out, trying to block the camera. I'm getting my first kiss and JC has to screw it up.

Joey comes in and laughs. "Surface for air, Lance. Jazz, let him let go." We're holding each other with our arms around each other, hands knit together on the other's back. We share smaller and smaller kisses before we let our foreheads touch and look into each others' eyes, smiling peacefully and happily. "Who started the kiss?"

JC laughs. "I'll rewind it. I grabbed the camera when I heard something about a question. Here, watch it." He hands the camera to Joey and leaves the room.

After a few minutes, Joey says, "I don't think you two should be left in here alone, not tonight." I see Joey put the camera on the nightstand outta the corner of my eye. "You two definitely have some serious chemistry. JC!"

"What?!?"

"Come here for a second."

I hear JC groan and come back into the room. "What, Joe?"

"I don't think they should be left in a room alone."

"They won't do anything beyond kissing. She's too scared it'll hurt and he's afraid to cause her any pain."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Joey. Relax. Plus, he doesn't have any condoms, so he won't do anything anyway."

"How do you know?"

"Joey, you know as well as I do that he doesn't want to chance getting ANY girl pregnant."

"Yeah, but what if they get caught up in the kiss and it just happens?"

"JOEY! Lance and Jazzy are smarter than that. I've known he's smart and just learned how smart she is tonight."

"Are you sure?"

"Joey, do you realize you sound like a worried parent?"

"No, I don't."
I smile at Lance. "Yes, you do. You sound like a paranoid mom. Kinda like Lynn would if she caught Justin and a girl kissing." My eyes never leave Lance's and my body never moves, with the exception of my arms move to lay around his neck.

He sighs. "Are you three sure nothing will happen?"

I smile. "A few more kisses, him moving onto the extra bed, and hand holding before falling asleep."

"I might kiss her a couple more times, pull the extra mattress out, lay on it, hold her hand from there while she lays on my bed, and get some sleep. Maybe even talk a bit."

"Joey, they have the same idea and I trust Lance."

"I guess."

I hear JC clap Joey's back. "Not a word to anyone about this because it's not our business until they're dating. Wait, are you dating?"

Lance and I answer in unison. "No."

"Not yet?"

"Sam, did you answer my question yet?"

"No, not until you come back home, James."

JC and Joey leave the room.

By the time I woke up, Andi and the guys were gone. I look at my journal and notice it's open. I pick it up, start reading the two pages it was open to and I realize the hand writing on the pages don't match. I look for the signatures and figure out one is Justin's and the other is Lance's.

Lance's note to me is on the left page.

'Sam,

Thank you for those kisses. I'm glad we shared those and I wouldn't want to take them back for any reason. I will try to call around lunch. See you when we get back from rehearsal.

-James'

I smile and look at the other page.

'Jazz,

You and Lance kissed? I'm writing this AFTER Lance wrote his. That's your choice on who you kiss.

On another note, could we talk? I have some things on my mind and part of it has to do with you. Hope I can say what needs to be said.

Thanks.

Justin'

I shake my head. 'Great job, cassinova.' I check the next page. A note from JC?!?!?!?

'Jazzy,

I know you didn't think I'd write in this, but here's my cell number if you ever need me 407 230 6597.

I'm glad Lance was right.

I guess it's almost time to go to rehearsal.

OH! Lynn and I are getting you a cell phone today. The guys and I will put our numbers, your house number, and Lynn's cell number in it. She already has my say in which model to get. Hahaha, you're probably going to want to kill me. Don't even think about worrying about the bill, you're on a plan the 5 of us are covering. It's unlimited and we're going to teach you how to text!

Enjoy your last day of sleeping in because you WILL be at rehearsals with us tomorrow!

Stay out of trouble and my room. Only exception you can be in my room is for the guitar.

Love you baby sister.

-Josh'

"A CELLPHONE? AAAHHHHH! Bad idea there, Josh. No." I look over what he wrote again. "He can carry me in my jammas and sleeping to rehearsals. Ooooooohhhh! Shower and guitar time!" I grab my shower stuff, towel and clothes. I pick a pair of black shorts, a baby blue tank top and hop in the shower. I think back to his note as I turn the radio on. 'Did he call me his baby sister? I'll double check that after my shower. Ma's gonna FREAK if she finds out I have a cell phone. I feel kinda bad that they won't let me help pay for it. FUCK! Probably Josh's idea. Lynn probably talked to Ma about it last night. I heard her on the phone, talking about cell phones and telling them not to worry about the bill or paying them back, it's covered and so the guys and I can keep in touch. Something about unlimited everything. Whatever. Guess I can deal with it when and if Ma caught me with one. Better be blue or black.' I get in the shower after setting all my stuff up for my shower and strip, getting in as the phone rang. I get out before I turn the water on, wrap myself in a towel and answer the phone. "Hello?"

"Andi, you sound different."

"I'm not Andi."

"Oh. I'm sorry. Are any of the guys, Andi or Lynn there?"
"Not that I know. Who may I ask is calling? I'd like to leave a note for them."
"Just write 'call Johnny'."
 I write what he says and hang up. I run to the bathroom, take my shower, get dressed, get my shower stuff together and put it all away.

I make myself some french toast and have a glass of OJ with it. The phone rings again. "Who now?" I look at the clock for the first time, surprised it's already ten in the morning. I pick up the phone. "Hello?"

"Andi?"

"No, I'm not Andi."

"Oh, then you must be Jazzy."
"Not to be rude, but who may I ask is calling."

"Karen, Josh's mom."

My eyes bug out and I feel like a dunce. "Hi, Mrs. Chasez." I smack myself in the forehead. 'Note to self-yell at JC for not telling me his mom was calling today.' I smile, irritated.

"Josh asked me to periodically check on you and see if you wanted to come over."
I shake my head, questioning if my hearing was going. "I don't think I heard you right. did you say that Josh, as in JC, asked you, his mom, to check on me and invite me across the road to your house?" I'm weirded out and starting to think I'm losing my mind.

She lightly laughs. "You heard me correctly." I scratch my head. "Are you ok by yourself until later?"

"Y-yeah. Wh-what time would you like to come over? I mean, what time would you like me to come over?"

"Lynn should be back in about half an hour. Both of you should come by around 3:15 and wait for the boys here."

"Um, ok, I'll let Lynn know, then."

"Relax, sweetie. Josh is just looking out for you because he sees you as a little sister."

"Ok. Thanks, Mrs. Chasez. I will be over later with Lynn."

"See you later on. Bye."

"Bye." I hang up and back away from the phone, totally weirded out. I walk back to the kitchen to finish my breakfast. I finish eating and I go to JC's door, knowing he said I could go in for the guitar. I'm still nervous because it's his space. I knock, knowing he's not home, before I open the door and look around for the guitar. I don't see it in front of me, so I look next to the door and find it in its stand to my left. I grab it and sit on the living room couch. "Ok, let's practice that song he taught me. I wanna know it by heart. Here goes nothing." I begin to play 'Now & Forever', humming along and hearing the words in my mind. I play the song over and over in my head as I practice it.

I must have been at it for awhile, most likely paying attention to the song and not my surroundings, because Lynn catches me off guard. "JC loves that song. Did he teach you that?"

My head snaps up for my eyes to make contact with Lynn's. "Yeah, last night."

"He's opened up to you and is going to end up looking out for you."

"How come everyone says that about him?"

"Honey, he looks out for everyone." She walks over to the other end of the couch and sits down, making sure to face me. "He pulled me aside last night and proposed we get you a cell phone. I was against it at first."

"Most parents would be."

"You're only going to be 13 next week. He argued that he would pay for it. Before I knew what was being said, Chris, Joey and Justin were on his side. My guess is that he had said something to Lance and they agreed that if the other 3 boys wanted to help, they would all pitch a bit for it. They sat me down and we worked it out. Lance picked the company and services, Chris picked the color of the phone, Josh picked which phone, Joey gets to pick all the accessories, and Justin gets put all our numbers in your cell phone."

"What was his reasoning for doing this?"

"He says it's to make sure you can reach them if you need something, even if it's just to talk. He wants to make sure you're ok."

"As long as I have music, I will be just fine. Did you talk to my mom?"

"Yes, she's fine with you having one as long as it's not a problem for us, you take care of the phone itself, and she can reach you."

"It just scares me to think about it. I think I'm going to take some of my saved money and set up a baby-sitting course and become certified so I can help pay for it. Do you have any information on that? Can we find out about that? Do you think that would be ok?"

"We'll have to keep this from Josh. We can find out about the baby-sitting courses and it should be fine."

I nod, put JC's guitar back on its satnd in his room, close his bedroom door, go in Lance's room, get my shoes on and get ready to go. "Ready when you are." We start to leave and I remember the two phone calls. "Someone named Johnny called and Josh's mom, Carly?, called."

"Karen called?"

"Yeah, she said something about Josh wanting her to check on me and inviting us over around 3:15."

Lynn looks at her watch. "We have just over two hours to get this done."

"I have to grab my money. Be right back out." I run in Lance's room and grab half of the money I had saved from my allowances for the past 9 months. I fold it, put in my right front pocket, and go back to Lynn. "All set."

"Ok. We have to go to the high school nearby to get it set up. I called city hall to find out."

"Thanks, Lynn."

"As long as Josh doesn't find out, I think we can pull this off."

"I hope so."

She leads me to the car, we buckle up and she drives up to the high school. I take a deep breath. "You ready?" I nod and we head to the main office for more information. We get directed to a guidance counselor, who looks at us and has questioning eyes.

"How may I help you?"

Lynn looks at me and nods. I step forward and reach out a hand. "Hi, My name is Samantha Charpentier and I would like to sign up for a baby-sitting certification course."

"The course we have starts next Saturday and will begin at ten in the morning. It won't finish up until 2 in the afternoon and it's only on Saturdays. It will last for six weeks, for a total of 24 hours of class time. The course costs $90, up front. If you complete the course you will be certified through the American Red Cross and it's valid for one year."

I reach in my pocket and pull out the money I grabbed from my bag, handing her enough to cover the cost of the course. I still have more than enough to get a few more things for the guys. I wanted to get them each a gift before they left. "Do I have any forms to fill out?"

"Yes, this one. Just fill out your name, date, address, have a parent or guardian sign here, birthdate, and check off that you've already paid for the course. You will be starting the 11th."

I fill it out and Lynn signs on the guardian line just so I can start. We walk out of the high school without a word and get in the car. I relax and Lynn starts the car. "I'm so proud of you."

"Why?"

"Because you're doing this so you can pay for your cell phone service without the boys knowing. If JC ever catches wind of this, he's probably going to ask five hundred questions." She smiles.

I wave the thought away. "By the time he does, I'll probably have paid for 9 months out of the next 12. How much will it cost? I think I have enough to do that."

"The bill is $120 a month for everything unlimited and you'd have to buy your phone today."

"Ok. Let's go do that."

"Ok." She drives to a Verizon cell phone store and we look at the phones. Lynn finds a blue one and the price was good. We go up to the cashier, who rings us up. "Are you sure about this?"

"I'm sure."

The cashier looks up at us. "Your total is $173.97."

I hand Lynn most of what I have and she looks at me. I nod and she puts it under her name. We leave and head back to the house she shares with Andi and the guys. We laugh at the fact that we just barely get in the door, the phone starts to ring. Lynn lets me rush to the phone. "H-hello?"

"It's James." He laughs. "Did you run to the phone?"

"Yeah. Lynn and I ran a couple errands and just got to the door when you called."

"Oh. JC said something about there is no way you're sleeping in or weaseling out of our rehearsal tomorrow."

"Yeah, he left a note. I read it. Do me a favor?"

"What's that?"

"Tell him the five of you are punks and thanks."

"Hold on. Here, you tell him."

I hear JC take the phone. "Yes, Jazz?"
"You guys are punks and thanks."

"You read my note."

"Of course I did. 'Baby sister'?"

"Yeah, you're not my type. It's that or you can be my 'lost puppy' and follow me around, looking love struck."

I can picture him with a cheesy smile plastered on his face. "I'll take 'baby sister'. I should kick your ass."
"What'd I do?"

"Your mom called saying you wanted her to check if I was ok while Lynn was out and to invite us over this afternoon."

He chuckles. "Yeah, I asked her to. What's it to ya, munchkin?"

"MUNCHKIN? I'll you you 'munchkin' when I knock you on your-" Lynn looks at me. "Your butt."

"Lynn looked at you, didn't she?"

"Shut up. You're no saint."

"I never claimed to be."

"I practiced that song you taught me last night."

"I take you read that I gave you permission to go in my room for my guitar?"

"Yeah, considering you wrote it in MY journal and your guitar is in its stand near the door."

"How long did you practice it?"

"I have no idea. I went through it a couple dozen times. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, shoot."
"Can you get away from everyone else?"
"Sure. Guys, I'm gonna get a breath of fresh air. Jazz wants to tell me something so I have to borrow your cell, Lance. Alright, thanks, man." I hear him walk outside and let the door close. "What's on your mind?"

"Look, I need your honest opinion. Do you think James and I went a little too far? I'm scared to deal with the heartbreak and let my walls down. That was my first kiss! On top of that, he asked me to be his girl! What do I do, Josh?"

"Ok, first, calm down. Yes, I do think you two did go too far last night. Congrats on your first kiss. Think it through. Weigh the pros and cons of being with him. When we come back, we'll be on a tour within a few months and won't be home for a long time. If we become known, we'll have interviews, appearances, and tours that will happen almost back to back. Honestly, I don't think you should get involved with anyone in this industry. Don't take my word for it, but do take it at face value. You're a smart girl and the two of you just need space away from each other and time apart. You hardly know each other. Ok?"

I sigh. "Yeah. Do you know what's up with Justin?"

"He, uh, um, I'm not supposed to tell you this, but he likes you too."

"Jo-o-o-osh!" I whine, sigh and hang my head as I lean against the wall by the phone.

He laughs. "Just relax and talk Justin down from it. Do the same to Lance. Explain that you don't really know them but would love to be their friend."

I hear Joey. "What's up with Jazz?"

"Hold on, Jazz. She wanted advice on Justin and Lance, so I gave it to her."

I hear the door shut again and Joey lower his voice. "Well, what'd you tell her?"

"She should weigh the pros and cons. I don't think she should date anyone in our industry because people that do what we're trying to do are hardly ever around and always busy. Talk the two of them down and tell them that she would love to remain friends."

"I don't know how you come up with this advice, but it sounds good."

I'm getting frustrated. "JOSH! CRISIS HERE!" Lynn looks at me and points outside. I take the cordless outside and sit on the trampoline.

"Jazz." GREAT. Now he was mad. He tone of voice went from light to stern. I flop back on the trampoline and sigh. "Honestly, chill out. You will be fine."

"I know. I'm just scared of getting hurt. I'm turning 14 next week and starting classes and a baby sitting course at the end of next week. I relocated over 1500 miles from where I've grown up. I start a NEW SCHOOL next week. I just-I don't know. I'm lost, confused and scared is my point, I guess."

"This is why we're getting you that cell phone. One of us will always be there for you."

"Thanks. I'm sorry for freaking out and it's only just before three. Wait, late lunch?"

"Yes, we got caught up getting the steps down. We will be home for dinner. By seven."

"I just don't know what to do or who to turn to anymore."

"You can turn to us. You're like family to us now. You can't get rid of us."

I laugh. "There goes ditching you guys. Dammit."

"That's something I like to hear-your laugh and sense of humor."

"Someone does."

He laughs. "If you weren't as twisted as you are, you wouldn't be yourself. Seriously, just talk to them. I know Lance will understand. Justin might be upset for a couple days or just brush it off."

"Thanks, man. I hope they understand and they'll still wanna be friends. That sounds so cheesy." I make a 'yuck' face

He laughs. "I'm glad to know you're feeling better. I gotta let you go, Darren's telling us we have to get back to rehearsal. We'll be back around 7 to shower, eat and hang out. You need to talk to those two."

"Tell Justin to shower and I'll talk to him after dinner. Let James know I have to talk to him after that."

"Will do. Relax, go meet my family, and even though she's going to do it anyway, tell my mom I said not to show you my baby pictures."

"Ok. Later."

"Later."

"Bye."

I hang up with JC and head back in the house to apologize to Lynn. I put the phone on the charger and find Lynn waiting in the kitchen. "Lynn, I'm sorry for yelling inside."

"It's ok, Jazz. Don't do it again. It's almost time to go meet the rest of the Chasezs." I wince. "You're nervous?"

"Of course I'm nervous. I'm almost 14 and met seven new people in less than a week and have to meet I don't know how many more. Why shouldn't I be?"

She points at me and smiles. "You have a good point." She gives me a hug. "Karen and Roy are very sweet and I think you'll get along great with Heather and Tyler."

"Let's hope."

"Optimistic today?"

"Everyday. It's how I get through everything."

"Including with us being gone?"

"As long as I can talk to you and the guys, I will get through everyday."

"I don't know how you can be so strong after talking to JC for a few minutes."

"He gives advice and confidence."

She laughs. "Ok, let's go introduce you to the Chasezs."

I take a deep breath. "Let's go before I wuss out."

We walk over to JC's parents' house and Karen is outside with Heather and Tyler. Lynn hugs her and the kids. "Karen, Heather, Tyler, this is Jazzy. Jazz, this is Karen, Heather and Tyler." She says as she motions to each one of them.

I nod and shake Karen's hand. "Hi. Josh said not to pull out his baby pictures."

"He knows I'm going to pull out the ones I have anyway."

"He said you would say that."

Lynn puts her arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. I look up at her and she smiles at me. "Karen, where's Roy?"

"He'll be home soon." Just then, a station wagon pulls up and a man gets out.

He smiles as Heather and Tyler run to him. "Hi, everyone. Who's this, Lynn?" He nods in my direction. I'm scared because I know what ex-military looks like-two of my cousins and one of my uncles are ex-military.

Lynn gently pushes me in front of her. "This is Jazzy. Jazzy, this is Roy."

He gets down on my level and puts his hand out. I shake his hand as he says 'hi'. All I can manage to do is squeak. "She's scared of me." His eyes don't leave mine. "Are you scared of me?" I nod. "Were you told anything about me?" I shake my head. "Are you Josh's new friend?" I nod. "Did you know I was in the military before you met me?" I shake my head. "Do you have anyone in your family that was in the military?" I nod. "How many people?" I hold up 3 fingers. "I'm going to back off and give you time to warm up to me, ok?" I nod.

Lynn's trying not to laugh. "That's the quietest I've heard her be since she's been visiting us."

The three adults laugh and Tyler pulls me aside. "Once you know our dad, he's not so scary."

"Huh?"

"Once you know our dad, he's not scary."

"Oh. Sorry. I have 2 cousins and an uncle who were in the military."

"Where are you from?"

"Fitchburg, Massachusetts."

"We're from Bowie, Maryland. How do you know Josh?"
"I was moving down the road from him and his friends. He and Justin walked by and I asked if they would help me out and hang out. They called their moms and then I've been visiting at their house since then. I have another day and a half before I have to go home."

"They go to another country Friday. We're gonna miss them, especially Josh."

I give him a hug. "I know. I'm gonna miss his reassuring hugs."

"I give those out too."

I laugh. "Thanks. Is that a Chasez trait?"

"I think so."

"How old are you? 14, until November 16."

"I'll be 13 until January 10."

"Right about my age. What grade are you in?"

"Eighth. You?"

"Eighth, too. Do you know what school you go to?"

"What don't you know about me?"

"Josh said you were new and if we go to the same school for me to be nice and help you out."

"Awww, that's nice of him. The middle school around here? I don't know."

"Heather will come around to you. She's a senior in high school and turns 19 this year. Just give her time."

"I'm just so nervous about moving so far from what I know and make new friends."

"Well, after this year ends, we'll be moving back to Bowie."

"Aw, man."

"We'll visit. I can call and write."

"That gives us just over 5 months."

"We're going to the beach in Tampa on Saturday. I'd like if you came."

"If my mom says it's ok, I can go. You need to check with your parents if I can go."

Tyler grabs me by the wrist and bolts into the house, running straight for his dad. "Dad, can Jazzy come with us to the beach Saturday? Please?" I stand there, scared silent again.

"Only if she can ask herself and if your mom agrees. Well, Jazzy?"

"Um, Mr. Chasez, may I please join your family at the beach Saturday?"

He chuckles. "As long as Karen is alright with it."

"Th-thank you."

"You're welcome."

Tyler starts pulling my hand. "Let's go ask my mom."

"Ok." I start to follow him, realizing he's on a mission.

"Mom, can Jazzy come with us to Tampa on Saturday?"

Karen looks at us. "Did you ask your dad?"

"He said it was ok if you're cool with it."

"Let me talk with her mom. Jazzy, could you set up a time for your mom to meet everyone before Josh, the boys, Lynn and Andi leave?"

"Sure. She's just getting home now, I think." It's already 4:30. I memorized my house number in the past two days. It rings four times.

"Hello?"

"Ma, if you met the Chasezs, would you let me go with them to the beach in Tampa on Saturday?"

"I have to meet the rest of your friends, Mr. Harless, and the Chasezs either way. What day and time?"

"Dinner tonight, around 7:15?" Karen and Lynn nod. Karen leaves the room, most likely to inform Roy and Heather.

"Ok, sounds good. The sooner we meet, the better I feel."

"Mrs. Chasez is checking with her husband and informing Josh's little sister. Hold on a second."

Karen comes back in a few minutes later. "Let your mom know it's a plan and we look forward to meeting her tonight."

"Ma, it's a go and they are all looking forward to meeting you."

"See you around 7:15."

"Love you, Ma."

"Love you too."
We hang up and smile. Karen looks at me. "You still have to let the boys know."

"Boogers!" I pull out the new cell phone I just got myself and call JC. As I hear it ring and mutter 'pick up', I look back and forth between Lynn and Karen. He picks up just before it goes to voicemail.

"Hello?"

"Josh, it's Jazz."

"What's up?"

"You, the guys, Andi, the guys' parents if able, and your family are meeting Ma for dinner tonight at your parents' place."

"What time?"

"7:15?"

"That's cutting it close. We'll stop at 6. Tomorrow, you better be up and ready for 5am and we go until 6pm. Understand?"

"Yes. Would you be ok with picking her up after? I'll go with you."

He sighs heavily. "I suppose. You owe me big when we get back."

"Ok. How?"

"Helping Lance learn the moves better."

"Sure, no biggie." I smile.

"Hey, is this the number from the new cell?"

"Yup, Lynn got it." Lynn and I give each other thumbs up.

"Good. I see you already have my number in it. Now you just have to pass it around and let the others put their numbers in it."

I laugh. "Or they can just write their names and numbers in my journal like you did."

He chuckles. "Nope, that's something I'd do."

I smile. "You never told me your dad was in the military."

"You met my family?"

"Yup. If everything goes well tonight, your brother is INSISTING on me going with them to the beach in Tampa. All I need is Ma to meet everyone and say ok."

"Whoa. Wait. Rewind. What about the beach and my brother?"

"Your brother is insisting I go with your family to the beach in Tampa."

"Put Tyler on." He sighs.

"Ok." I hold my cell phone to Tyler. "Josh wants to talk to you."

"Why?"

"You heard what I just told him."

Tyler takes the phone and turns away from me. "Hi, Josh. To get to know her. Well, of course. I can't because we're going back to Bowie in July. I did talk to her. Yes. No. I wish. She's probably got one. What? You always say those don't work. Nah, I'd rather have her as a friend. I don't really know her. I won't touch. Are you serious? Ewwww." He holds the phone out to me. "He wants to talk to you."

I take the phone confused. "Josh?"

"He won't wanna date you now."

"What did you tell him?"

"That you're like a baby sister to me, which kinda makes you two siblings."

"You are evil. I'd rather have guy friends to play football, soccer and basketball with. Thanks."

"You have alot on your mind anyway. See you around 7 to get your mom."

"Ok, later." I hang up and sit down at the kitchen table, smiling. "Just need a head count and I can get the food."

Karen and Lynn look at me as Tyler touches my hand to get my attention. "What do you mean by that?"

'It's a barbeque. Hot dogs, burgers, salads, grilled squash and zuchini, and I'm paying for the food and if we need anything to grill. Do you need propane, charcoal, lighter fluid?"

Karen smiles. "No, honey. We have everything. We can have Roy get whatever you need."

"Ok. Should I go ask him?"

"Go ahead, sweetie."

I walk back in the living room and sit on the couch near Roy. "Roy, could I ask you to do me a favor?"

"Depends on what it is, Jazz."

"Run to the grocery store? I'll give you the money for the food and what's left, you can keep for gas money."
He chuckles. "What do you need?"

"Burger patties, hot dogs, salads, the usual grill foods and supplies."

"How many people are coming?"

"Close to thirty."

"Can you grill?"

"Yeah, my mom taught me. How do you think I cook for my self in nice weather like this?" I smile.

"Anything special?"

"Butter and 10 packages of zuchini and summer squash. Foil as well."

"I'll walk with you to Lynn and the kids' so you can grab the money. I'll wait by the door." He gets up and asks Lynn for the key. "Tyler, come on. You can make sure she's safe inside the house and then walk back here with her."

Tyler stands up, smiling. "Ok, dad." The three of us walk to the house I've been sharing with Lynn, Andi and the guys. Roy unlocks the front door, pushes it open, hands Tyler the keys and waits for us outside. Tyler and I walk in, I head straight for Lance's room, jumping on the bed belly first to get to the money in my bag and count out what I'm sure is just over enough. "Lynn wouldn't have been happy if she saw you get on the bed like that."

"I'm so used to being at home. My bed has been through so much abuse. Let's go." I fold the money up so it fits discreetly in my hand. Tyler follows me out, making sure to lock the door. we head back to the Chasezs, stopping in their driveway. "I'll be inside in a minute." Tyler nods and heads in their house. "There's $180, I'm sure that should be enough for everything, some extras, and a little bit of gas for the car." I see he's about to say something. "I won't take any of it back, I'd rather spend it to make sure we have everything for this. It's for everyone to eat, have non-alcoholic drinks, enjoy company of friends and family, and my way of making memories with my friends and their families before said friends leave."

Roy hugs me. "You have a good heart and a good head on your shoulders. You're definitely what Josh said you are-a good, sweet, caring, selfless, and thoughtful girl. Very intelligent."

"Thanks, Mr. Chasez." He gets in the car and drives off while I'm waving. I smile to myself as I walk inside.

I knock on the door and Heather peeks out the window. She quickly opens the door. "Sorry about earlier, had a horrendous day today. Come in. Mom says we're trying to get everyone's families here so your mom can meet us all and you're throwing a barbeque for all of us."

"Yeah. I'm doing it so everyone can meet my mom and I."

"Mom's already called Chris's mom, Joey's family and Mrs. Bass."

"Ok, thanks. Who's coming?"

"All of them. Chris and Joey's families live in Orlando and Mrs. Bass just got back from Mississippi. She was visiting family since Sunday, she just got back an hour ago."

"That's how many?"

"Chris and his family is 6, Joey's is 5, Lance's is 3, Justin's is 4 counting Andi, ours is 5, then yours is 2. Um, that's 27 people."

"That's alot of people. Are we all going to fit in here?"

"It'll be a tight fit, but the backyard will fit all of us without a problem."

I let out a sigh of relief, "Good. One less thing to worry about."

She smiles. "How many people did you think you come?"

"Somewhere near 30."

"You were close."

Heather leads me out to the backyard and we sit in the grass, getting to know each other. Roy must have come back because Tyler ran out onto the porch and told us to come help Roy with the groceries. As we go through the kitchen, I see Lynn put an envelope behind the cookie jars on the counter and I start to wonder what's in it. I shrug and everyone helps get the groceries inside. I look at the clock, 5:48. I nod and use some spices and marinades for the steaks and some of the chicken (separate bowls for each meat). I cover the bowls with cling wrap and put them in the fridge with the rest of the parishables. I look at their fridge and smile. "At least you have a full fridge."

Karen and I look at each and laugh. She rubs my back. "Josh has great friends. He counts you as a friend. Over time, he might even consider you more. We love you already."

"Thanks, Mrs. Chasez. He has an awesome family."

I find Heather and Tyler and ask if they wanna sit outside to talk. They lead the way to the back yard and we sit down. Heather looks at Tyler with an evil smile on her face. She dives right into a story about the last time he got in trouble with their parents. I'm dying laughing as Tyler goes bright red in the face. "Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"I have a half brother. He's older and lives on his own, so he can't be here to tell my embarrassing stories. But I have one I can tell and my mom has a picture to prove it, which I will not show. It's embarrassing."

"Are you gonna tell us?"

"Only if you swear you won't tell any of the guys."

"Cross our hearts. We'll let you tell it. Right, Ty?" She elbows him.

He smiles and nods. "Right."

I take a deep breath and launch into the story. "Which backed up the whole building and the landlord wasn't too happy. All the other tenants were laughing. Then again, I was two." I shrug.

Heather and Tyler are DYING laughing. JC and Justin come outside. JC's looking at his brother and sister like they're crazy. "What's so funny?"

I look up and blush. "N-nothing."

Justin smirks. "He probably wouldn't get it anyway."

JC jabs Justin in his side using his elbow. "Must be 'something' because you wouldn't be bright red if was 'nothing'." He waits a minute or two before giving up. "Tyler, Heather, come help me get the food ready to be started. I have to take Jazz to get her mom in 45 minutes." They get up and follow JC.

Justin smiles at me, takes my hand, and leads me to the hammock between two trees. We sit down on it and lay back, our legs hanging off one side. He starts making it swing back and forth. "JC said you wanted to talk? I know I said I wanted to talk in that note."

"I wanna hear what you had to say first before I say anything."

He nervously licks his lips, looking up through the trees at the sky. "Well, I like you and just don't where to go with it."

"Stay friends because that's what I really need right now. I'm sure that's what you need more than anything, right?" I'm hoping he agrees.

"Yeah, I do. What if we-"

"Justin, live life one day at a time, unless something like school dictates otherwise."

"So I shouldn't worry about it?"

"Nope. Not worth the stress and waste of energy you could focus on something else, more productive."

"You sound like JC."

I laugh. "Then I guess liking me more than a friend is out the window?"
He laughs for a second. "Yeah, pretty much. You just killed that option."

We laugh for a few minutes. I look at the Chasez clan starting to grill the food and look back through the trees, focusing on the sunset. "Good, cuz the last thing I need is boyfriend drama or a relationship."

"Even if it's with Lance?"

"Even if it's with anyone. Right now I need friends, not a boyfriend. I'm not ready for that."

"True. Have you had a boyfriend?"

"Not yet. I don't think I will until at least high school. I have the rest of this school year and all of the next one before I even think of it."

"Do you hold hands with your friends?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like when you walk?"

"No, but I do walk beside them and talk with them. I defend them. I love them. I spend time with them. I write them notes that say 'I miss you' and don't sign them." I smile to myself, remembering how I had filled a whole mini notebook for Dawn and Sherri, telling them I miss them, love them, and why they mean so much to me. I also wrote down why they're my friends and what I love about them.

"Oh. Do you leave it on top of their stuff?"

"Depends on how well I know that friend. The more I know you, the better I hide it."

"Well, I better let you get to know me real good. I wanna see how well you can hide it."

I laugh and look at him. He has a goofy grin on his face that makes me laugh even harder. "We'll see how that goes."

"Deal." We shake on it and he gets up. "You want me to get Lance for you?"

"Please?"

"Ok. Talk tomorrow?"

"Yeah, during the breaks and ride."

He nods and jogs off to get Lance. I lay on the hammock, looking at the sunset through the trees and smile to myself. I keep reminding myself to let Lance down as easily as I can, just to ensure we can stay friends. "You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah, come lay next to me and look at the sunset."

"Ok." He lays on the hammock with his hands behind his head, looking at the sky.

"I know you don't regret the kisses we shared last night. I don't either, but those were my first kisses." I'm trying to figure out how to tell him what I told Justin. It was easier to tell Justin cuz I didn't kiss him. I kick myself, mentally.

"I feel a 'but' coming on."

"James, I'm not ready to date and I don't think I can handle the stress of a boyfriend and a relationship. Not until high school at the very least. What we both need more than anything, I think, is friends right now. I treasure your friendship and i don't want to risk our friendship by chancing a relationship. I love how comfortable I am around you and how we talk about everything. I don't want to lose our friendship because we have a bad break up. I told Justin almost the same thing."

"I just wanted to ask is all. I asked and you gave me your honest answer. Friends is better than nothing and you have a point about needing friends. I don't think we were thinking clearly last night and I don't blame you for being worried about sacrificing our friendship."

We have a few minutes of silence and we just absorb what the other had to say. "You understand where I'm coming from right?"

"Completely. You just moved, start going to a new school Monday, are meeting new people, have to make new friends, stay in touch with everyone, and start a baby-sitting course next Saturday."

"Who told you when I start the baby-sitting courses?" I push up so I'm resting on my elbows.

Lance looks at me. "Lynn. She said it was so you could have some extra spending money on top of your allowance. I think you're trying to save up for something."

"I haven't decided. I did save every bit of allowance I've gotten in the past 9 months, though."

"How much do you get for your allowance?"

"Depends on my grades and behavior. If I get all my homework and chores done, get at least Bs on everything, and stay out of trouble, I can get about $200 a month. Might be able to get more since Ma got a raise. "

"That's alot. Isn't that asking a bit much?"

"I actually made Ma drop it from what she wanted to give me. I have to clean the whole house, do all my assignments, go to school, nothing can be below an 83, help her with putting away groceries, doing the dishes, unpacking is extra, and if I start a course, I have to complete it. Baby-sitting will give me extra money to put away. I'm going to see if Ma will co-sign for a savings account so I can earn a little extra while I save for college."

"Does she know you save it?"

"Yes, and she encourages it. She's especially proud of why I'm saving it. Half is for spending and half is for college."

"You do value your education. When would you start college?"

"Of course I value intelligence, I wouldn't want to have brainless and zombie-minded friends. Not even if my life depended on it."

He laughs. "I can't picture you having friends that are zombies with a straight face. You are strange."

I lay back, smiling. "I know. My friends love how twisted I can be."

"One of these days, we're going to write something about you and you're just going to laugh."

I think about that. "Nah, you guys wouldn't do that."

"You never know."

"Are you saying you're going to write it?"

"I don't know, but I think one of us will and make it a song. Knowing you, you'd just laugh at it and be like 'they're talking about me'."

I think for a second. "You're probably right, James."

We start to talk about music and history. JC comes up to us. "Let's go get your mom, Jazz."

"Alright." I sigh, get up and look at Lance. "Talk to you in a few." Lance nods. I jog to catch up to JC. "You call my mom to let her know we're on the way?"

"Yes. Did you talk to Justin and Lance about what we talked about?"

"Yeah. Justin brushed it off and changed the subject."

"I thought that might be his reaction to it. Is he ok with it?" He looks at me as we get in his Jeep.

"He seems ok with it. I couldn't really tell with James, though."

"What'd he have to say?"

"That he understands and he's not mad. He looked kinda let down. I'm just not ready for a relationship."
"I have one question."
"What'd that be?"

"Do you regret letting him be your first kiss?"

"Regret it? No. Wish it would've happened when you guys came back home? Maybe? Waited till I was older? Definitely."

"I'll talk with him later and let you know what's on his mind, deal?" He offers his hand for a handshake to make an official agreement.

I shake his hand as we pull up in front of my house. "Deal. I'll run in and get my mom."

"I'll come in with you."

I shrug and we get out. I go in my house and don't see my mom. "MA!"

"In my room. You think it'd be ok to go in shorts and a tank top?"

"As long as you're covered, yeah."

She comes out of her bedroom wearing shorts that stop a few inches above her knees and a men's tank. I look at her feet and she's wearing flip flops. I watch her put her hair up, using her favorite hair clip. "Let's go." She opens the door as she checks for her cell phone, wallet and house keys in her pockets. "How many people are going to be there?"

I climb in the back seat. "Counting us, 27."

"Ok, break them up into families."

"We'll start with Josh's family, which is him, his brother, Tyler, his sister, Heather, his mom, Karen, and his dad, Roy. They're the Chasezs."

"Ok, Josh, Heather, Tyler, Karen and Roy."

"Justin, Lynn and Paul. Justin is a Timberlake, his mom remarried to Paul which makes her and Paul have the last name Harless."

"Justin, Paul, Lynn."

"Yeah. James, his mom, um, Josh, help me out."

He chuckles. "Diane, Jim and Lance Bass. Jazz calls him James. My friends call me JC, most of James' friends call him by his middle name, Lance."

"I don't know any of the other guys' families."

Josh laughs. "Ok, ok, I got this. "Chris's family is Chris, his mom, Beverly, and four sisters, Molly, Kate, Emily and Taylor, in that order."

"Beverly, Chris, Molly, Kate, Emily and Taylor."

"Joey's family is his mom, Phyllis, his dad is Joe, Sr., Joey is the youngest, Steve, who's just over two years older and Janine is the oldest. That's all our families. Plus, Andi. she's Justin's best friend and they've known each other almost their whole lives, she's kinda like his sister."

"Phyllis, Joe Sr., Joey, Steve and Janine. Andi."

"You can tell who goes with who, it's easy."

"I can tell by face, behavior or hair."

"Then you're gonna be fine. We're here."

I look at him and jump outta his Jeep. "Do we go in the house? Where did the other cars come from?"

JC looks at the cars quickly. "Janine, Steve. Joey's parents, Beverly, Diane and Molly. This way, it's being held in the backyard."

Ma looks at me and I have her walk in front of me, forcing her to walk between JC and I. He leads us over to his dad, who was grilling the chicken and steaks. "Ma, this is Roy, Josh's dad."

They smile at each other and shake hands. "You must be, Vikki. Josh told us what he knows about you."

"I am." She's nervous. Ma doesn't like to be around more than a couple handfuls of people she doesn't know. I'm hoping she meets everyone first.

Lynn comes up behind us. "Vikki, you made it. I can introduce you to everyone." She leads Ma over to Karen, Beverly and Chris's sisters.

I look at JC. "Does Lynn do that alot?"

"Yeah. Wait till she meets Lance."

I roll my eyes. "Southern boys are non-existant up north. Within a few months, they turn into city boys and are just so rude."

"True."

"Ma's gonna wanna keep him. Maybe Justin if he's polite too. She'll tell me I should be more like them and have better manners. I like my manners just fine. When I need or wanna use em, I do."

"Like around Lynn and the rest of our parents?"

I look at him as if to tell him to shut up. "I use em around you."

"Right." He pushes me. "Time for you to meet the rest of our families."

"What if I don't want to?"

He grabs my shoulders and pushes me. "You have to. They need to know who we're talking about."

I groan and keep walking. He pulls me over to Lance and his parents. Lance smiles at me and Diane hugs JC. "Josh, how are you doing?"

"I'm good. Diane, this is Jazzy. Jazzy, these are Lance's mom, Diane and his dad, Jim."

I shake their hands and smile. "Nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Bass."

JC whispers in my ear, "You remembered how I said it?"

I nod. "Look like I have quite a few people to meet before I can really stop to talk, please excuse me."

I turn to walk away and get grabbed by Chris. "Come meet my mom and sisters. My mom thinks your mom is cool."

As he drags me over to his mom, I couldn't resist saying, "Well, then we're screwed."

He stops dead in his tracks, stopping me and looks at me. "What do you mean?"

"What I mean is that when we goof off and pull pranks, not only will Lynn tell Ma but your mom will too. I'm involved in something and Ma thinks someone could seriously get hurt and hears about it, I'm grounded."

"Pffffttt. Don't worry about it." He starts pulling me again and I follow. "Mom, this is Jazzy. Jazzy, this is my mom, Beverly."

I smile and shake her hand. "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Kirkpatrick."

"So Chris tells me you're new to the area and get along great with him and the boys."

"My mom and I just moved here from Massachusetts on Monday. We drove five days to get here."

"That's a long drive. How did you meet the boys?"

"Josh and Justin were walking by and I asked them if they could help me unpack a bit. I've been staying at the house with the boys and Andi since Monday night."

"You're going to miss the boys when they leave Friday."

"I know. I'll be alright as long as I have music and can keep in touch with them."

"You're so sweet."

"Thank you." I look at Chris. "Josh said something about you having sisters."

He motions to three girls, who come over. "This little one is Taylor, Kate is holding her, Molly and Emily." He motions to each one and I shake their hands.

"May I hold Taylor?"

I look at Beverly and she smiles. "Sure, if she'll go to you."

I hold my hands out, smiling. "Hi, Taylor. My name is Jazzy. Can I hold you?" She looks at me for a minute before reaching out for me to take her from Kate. "Well, how are you?" She coos.

Chris and his mom are surprised. I see Chris and Beverly talking quietly and smiling out of the corner of my eye. Beverly touches my shoulder. "Would you like to baby sit her for a couple hours on Friday nights?"

"Are you sure? I'm not certified yet."

"You're a natural at it. Do you have any younger siblings?"

"No, but I do have younger cousins. They're 2 and 4. I have baby-sat before as well."

"What ages have you baby-sat?"

"From about a month old up to 7 years. Mainly my mom's friends and co-workers back home."

"She seems to have taken a liking to you."

I turn my attention back to Taylor, smiling and playing with her. "You don't like me right?" She coos. "No way. You can't stand me." I make funny faces as I talk to Taylor. "Tell mama, 'I don't like her, no way, Jose'. You don't like me." She blows raspberries at me. "Really now?"

Chris starts laughing. "She doesn't like you, she loves you."

I give Taylor a kiss and hand her to Chris. She blows raspberries at him, too. Joey grabs me. "Come meet my family."

"Ok." I follow him and walk toward his parents passing my mom on the way. "Who haven't you met yet?"

"Josh's brother and sister."

"They're cool. You'll like em."

She nods and walks along side Lynn to find Heather and Tyler. I turn around to face two women and two men. The younger man looks eerily like Joey and the older looks kind of like Joey. The women look like each other and resemble Joey. "Mom, Dad, Steve, Janine, this is Jazzy. Jazzy, these are my mom, Phyllis, dad, Joe Sr., my brother, Steve and my sister, Janine." As he intros each one, he looks them in the eye and I follow his eyes.

I shake each one of their hands and smile. "How are you enjoying the get together?"

"It's nice. Roy told us that you paid for all the food and wouldn't take no for an answer." Joe Sr. smiles at me.

"That's right, Mr. Fatone."

"Joey tells us that he looks at you like a little sister."

"I'm happy to hear that. At least someone's gonna miss me while they're overseas." His dad and I laugh.

"From the sounds of it, Jazzy, all five of them and Lynn are going to miss you dearly."

I smile, gently. "Awww, I'll miss them while they're gone and they know it. As long as they call or write, I think I'll make it. Music will help."

"You're a strong girl. Joey says before you moved here, you were a straight A student."

"I plan on being straight A once I get back into classes."

"When do you start school?"

"I start classes on Monday."

"Why wait a week after moving here before you start classes?"

"My mom has to set up my schedule and to give me time to settle in, get to know some of the area."

"Well, that makes sense then. I bet it's very different from what you're used to."

"It is. This is somewhere between a city and the country. Everyone is polite and keeps to themselves. All the parents seem to keep an eye out for each other's kids. It's a complete culture shock. I'm from Fitchburg, Massachusetts. It's a typical city and everyone looks out for their own family."
"Is that why you and Joey connected?"

"That might be part of it. I think his personality is what really started the friendship. At first I didn't like how he just shoved his camera in my face first thing in the morning. After talking during the few minutes we were in the same room, he's funny and very sweet." I pat Joey's cheek.

He looks at me, semi-annoyed that I patted his cheek. "Not funny, Jazzy."

I stick my tongue out at him. "It is to me."

"Oh, really?" He starts to tickle my side.

"Ah! No! Joey!" I start laughing like crazy and see a bright light.

I hear JC standing nearby. "Joey, you're gonna make her turn bright red in the face. As funny as that is, she's trying not to make an ass of herself."

"Aw, man." He helps me up. "You get that on camera, Steve?"

"Yeah."

"Sweet! High five!" Steve and Joey high five.

I turn away Joey and cover my face, wishing the redness in my face to go away. I pull my hands away from my face and JC is right in front of me. I jump a little bit. He raises an eyebrow, concerned. "You alright, Jazz?" He hands me a ginger ale.

I take it. "Yeah, I'll be fine. Thanks. What time is it?"

Joey leans over near me. "Half past a monkey's ass, quarter to-"

JC looks at him, annoyed. "Enough. It's almost 9."

"I need to eat and Ma needs to go home so she can get up in the morning. We have to get to bed too. We have to get up at like 4am, so we can all shower and get to rehearsal."

"Ok, dad has everything over here." He leads me to the table and we sit with my mom. He nods at my mom and smiles.

"I can't believe it's taken me so long to meet everyone." I rub my forehead and fight to stay awake.

“After awhile, you’ll be able to walk up to everyone and be able to just talk to them.”

My mom puts an arm around my shoulders and gives me a hug. I look at her and I’d never tell her this, but she looked like hell. “You can go with the Chasezs on Saturday, with one stipulation.”

I rack my brain, wondering what it could be and coming up with crazy scenarios. “What’s that, Ma?”

“You have to be home by ten Sunday morning. No excuses, I have nice plans for us Sunday.”

“Ok. It’s only a twenty minute walk home.”

“I talked to Karen and Roy, Josh is going to walk you over here Friday. They said you can stay in Heather’s room, which has been cleared with her. You’ll stay overnight Friday and Saturday. Deal?”

“Yeah. Thanks, Ma. Can I get a clue about what we’re doing Sunday?”

“You’ve wanted to visit it since you were really little.”

“Ok.” I nod. I look at JC, who’s mouth is wide open, and burst out laughing. I push his bottom jaw up to close his mouth. “You’re gonna catch flies.”

“They betrayed me. That’s a family trip!”

Heather comes outta nowhere. “Then maybe you shouldn’t tell mom and dad that you see her like a ‘baby sister’.” She gives him a kiss on the cheek and runs.

“You little pain in my butt!” He jumps up out of his seat and chases her around the side of the house, threatening to kick her ass.

She’s laughing. I eat some garden salad, potato salad, a burger and a hot dog. A few minutes later, Heather passes by me, laughing and yelling back to JC. “If you’re gonna kick my butt, you have to catch me first! You can do better than this!”

I look at my mom and we crack up. Heather hides behind Justin. JC stops, looking for her. “Where are you, Heather? I just wanna tickle you until you beg for mercy and cry. OLLIE OLLIE OXEN FREE!!!!”

Heather steps out from behind Justin. “That’s no fair. You use that every time Tyler and I outsmart you. That’s cheating.” She looks at him like she wants to bolt. I look at JC and he has an evil smile on his face. He could just reach out and grab her wrist, pin her in a chair and tickle her. “Oh, nu-uh!” She turns to run and he catches her wrist.

He pins her in the grass and starts tickling her. “You helped convince them, admit it!”

“N-nooo!” She’s laughing so hard at him.

“Admit it.”

“Hahahahaha, didn’t do it.”

“Who?”

“T-Ty-ler. Hahahahahahaha!”

“Beg for mercy.”
“Ne-hehehehehehe-ver!”

“Beg.”

“My s-s-s-s-sides.” She can’t stop laughing and can’t get up cuz JC has her pinned by straddling her stomach.

“For mercy.”

“Ow. Hahahahahaha!”

“Do it and I’ll let you go. We can water bomb Tyler.”

I’m shocked. “Josh!”

He smiles at me with that cheesy smile he does. “It’s fun. You can help too.” I pretend to be offended. “Don’t act like you won’t.” He knows me too well.

Heather has tears coming down her face. “Mercy, mercy, mercy, I beg for mercy, Joshua.”

He gets up, helps her up and looks at me. “Are you in or are you in?”

I giggle. “I’m in.” We high five each other and Heather.

He looks at me. “How are we gonna do this?”

“Huddle.” I tell them the plan. “Break!” I run over to Chris. “Chris, need your help executing a plan.”

He smiles as he walks away from his mom and sisters. “What is this plan?” I whisper the plan in his ear. He pulls away, smiling his evil, just before a great prank smile. “Let’s do it.” He claps his hands together, rubbing them.

“You are pure prankster evilness.”

“You will learn from the master.”

“I came up with it.”

He thinks for a second. “Yeah, you did. I have my own flair to put in it.”

“What’s that?”

“You shall see, youngin’. Go get your post ready. T-minus 7 minutes.”

“Yessa, masta, sir.” We laugh and I run inside to the kitchen, where I find JC and Heather filling water balloons. They had about ten ready. “I think we’ll be good after two more.”

JC looks up at me. “You sure?”
“Tyler isn’t as dense as you wish. I understand he’s your younger brother, but give him credit. He is smart.”

“True, he won’t stay still after we drop the first three.”

Heather smiles. “Unless we drop them all at the same time.”

We look at Heather, confused. “My room faces the backyard and has a window ledge we can just roll the water balloons off.” She smiles.

“Great idea, girl!” I high five her and smile. We look at JC, who isn’t following along. I pull him outside and point at Heather’s window that faces the yard and explain it. I see Chris peeking around the corner and pull JC inside, not caring if he got it. We had almost a minute before Chris would have Tyler placed under Heather’s bedroom window. Heather was already placing the balloons on the window ledge by the time we got in her room. She opens the window, while she and I sit on the inner ledge. I grab four balloons by the ends they’re tied on and prepare to drop them. I see Chris walk Tyler under the window and signal us. “Now!” I whisper just loud enough for Heather and JC to hear. We managed to drop them and most of them hit Tyler’s body. Heather and I bolt out of the room, pulling JC with us and we sit in the living room, pretending to read a magazine or watch TV.

Tyler comes inside. “Who dropped the balloons?”

We look at him like we’re confused. I answer. “What balloons?”

Just then, Joey, Justin and Lance come from upstairs. We had no idea they were up there. Tyler looks at them. “I hate you guys. I will get you back.” He turns upstairs to his room, most likely to change.

The six of us head out to the yard. We get outside before Heather, JC and I burst out laughing. We high five. Chris comes up laughing and high fives us too. “Who does he think did it?” He asks once we stop laughing and are sitting at the table.

I look at him. “Ty thinks Joey, Justin and Lance did it.”

Chris laughs even harder. “Lance sucks at pulling shit like that.”

“I do not.” We all look at him like he’s lost his fucking marbles. “Ok, so I’m not as good as your three.”

I look at him and put my hands on my hips. “James. There are five of us that are good at this kinda thing. Josh did good, but Heather, Chris, Joey, Justin and myself are the best at pranks and booby traps.”

Chris smiles and giggles. “You have no clue. JC is an amateur at this. I’m surprised he even made it downstairs before Tyler got in sight of the living room.”

I swat my hand in the middle. “Shhh! Tyler’s coming.” I whisper to them. “When is the next football game again?”

JC is confused again, but quickly catches on. “I think the next big one is Saturday or Sunday.”

“I’ll have to tape it, then.” I nod at JC for catching on. Tyler walks past us and lies on the hammock. The 7 of us start laughing.

JC gets up, grabbing some of the food. “Let’s get this food put away.”We each grab a few plates and bowls, before we turn to go inside. We put the food away and as we finish up, Roy comes up to the seven of us. “Water balloons?” Chris, Heather, Joey, Justin, Lance and I point at JC. “Why?”

JC looks at us. “Nice. I get the blame. Dad, you know I couldn’t master mind this.”

“I know Chris helped because he lured him into it.”

“You always told me that the trip to Tampa was a family trip, so when I found out Jazz could go, I got upset. I tickled it out of Heather.”
“Who set it up?”
“Jazz came up with it and set it up.”

Roy nods before leaning in. He whispers as we all lean in. “Beautiful execution.” We start laughing. He waits for us to stop laughing before saying, “Don’t do that again or there won’t be a trip Saturday,” just loud enough for Karen to hear. He high fives all 7 of us and walks away.We look at each and laugh.

I look at JC and Heather. “Your dad’s actually pretty cool.”

JC looks at me. “Wait till he gets in on the pranks.” He smiles, evilly. “Let’s get your mom home, Jazz.”

“Alright.” I hug Heather, his parents and Tyler before I find my mom sitting by the grill, talking to Chris’ mom. “C’mon, Ma. You have to get home and the rest of us have to head to bed, it’s almost ten at night.”

She tells Beverly she’ll call her Saturday afternoon and they can meet up with us on Sunday. My guess is that Chris’ sisters went home and to bed a while ago. We get in the Jeep and drop Ma off. I give her a hug. “Call me tomorrow evening and lemme know you’re alright.”

“Ma, JC, Lynn, Joey, Diane and Chris are taking care of me.”

“True. Three of them are mature enough.”
“Ma!”

“Joey and Chris are like big kids.”
“They know how to be mature adults when it’s called for.”

“Ok, I’ll take your word for it. Josh, keep her safe.”

He smiles. “I will, Vikki. Come on, Jazz, we gotta get back soon. We have to get to sleep and get up early for our busy day tomorrow.”

I climb back in the Jeep and wave to my mom. She heads inside. “When do you expect me to help James with the moves?”

“Some tomorrow and the rest when we come back home.”

I hang my head and groan. “You’re a pain in the ass.”

“You think you hate me now? Wait till we get done at rehearsals tomorrow.” He has that evil smirk on his face.

We get back and most of the guys are asleep or close to it in the living room. JC and I look at them. “Where’s Andi?”

“Her room, probably.”

He checks her room and nods. He comes back over to me and chuckles. “Go to bed. They can crowd in my room.” I nod and head for Lance’s room, using the wall to hold me up.

"Jazzy, let's go. Let's do this. JAZZY!"

I jump, completely awake and my heart racing. I see JC standing over me, smiling. I look at the clock. Quarter till 5 in the MORNING?!? "You're nuts if you think I'm getting up." I roll over and try to go back to sleep.

"Hell no. Get up. You agreed."

"No." I fall back to sleep.

JC grabs my feet and yanks me off the bed. "Up, shower. We leave at 5:30."

I glare at him. Justin comes running in. "Who fell? I heard a thump."

JC turns to him. "I pulled Jazzy of her bed. She's trying to get out of rehearsal."

Justin smiles and walks over to help me up. "You get up and I'll make sure Joey doesn't shove his camera in your face until after rehearsal."

I take his hands and smile. "He's gonna do it anyway. We all know it." I go to my bag and grab a pair of sweats and a teal tank top. "I've gotten used to it."

Justin chuckles. "Yeah." He admits as I grab my shower supplies. He looks at my shampoo, body wash and conditioner. "Is that why you smell like the ocean and fruit?"

I use Suave apple shampoo and conditioner for my hair and Suave Ocean Breeze body wash. "This would be why. Has it been making you wonder?"

"Yeah, I was tryin to figure out why you smell like that."
"Does it matter?"

"No, but you do smell good."

Ok, I'm woken up not so nicely by his best friend and my sarcasm kicks in. I try not to be a bitch about what I say. "Aren't girls supposed to smell good?" I say as I pass him and JC.

"Man, what crawled up her butt?"

"I woke her up by screaming in her ear and yanking her off the bed." I hear JC leave Lance's room. "Everyone's waiting in the living room. Make it quick."

I wave a hand as I go in the bathroom. "Yeah, yeah, yeah." I get undressed, shower, get out, get my clothes on, put my stuff back in Lance's room, put on an over sized sweatshirt and stand in the living room doorway. "Ready when you are."

Joey and Chris look at their watches. "Ten minutes?"

"I'm not your average primadonna teenage girl."
Justin smiles. "No, she's a tomboy."

"Are we going or can I go back to bed?"

"We're going. Let's go." JC gets up and leads us to the door. He pulls out his cell and makes a call. "Darren, we have someone to help out once she knows the steps. Yeah, she and Lance can work on the steps at home. Yeah, her." I'm too tired to care. We're getting in the van and I take the way back window seat, pull my legs up, cover them with my sweatshirt and fall asleep.

I wake up to Lance shaking me awake. "Jazzy, we're here. Jazzy, wake up. Let's do this, Jazzy."

I yawn and stretch. "At least you're nicer about it than some people."

"JC wasn't woken up as nice as he wanted either."

"He didn't need to be an ass waking me up. I didn't wake him up."

"Justin did by jumping on him while he was asleep."

"Meh. I've been volunteered to help you get better with the steps."

"Ok."

"I guess we should get in there before they send JC out."

Lance nods and we get out of the van. He leads me into the warehouse they rehearse in. I strip my sweatshirt off, tossing it into a corner by the door. I see this guy with dark skin, wind breakers, a t-shirt, sneakers and a smile on his face come over to us. Lance does a handshake/hug with him. "Darren, this is Jazzy. Jazzy, this is Darren, our choreographer. Andi helps him out when he has to pull one or two of us aside."

I look at Darren. He has his hand out, expecting me to shake his hand. "Hi."

Darren watches me walk away. I sit a few feet away and stretch. "What's her dilemma?"

"JC woke her up by yanking her out of bed and she's not a morning person."

"Another JC, huh?" Lance nods. Darren claps his hands. "Let's start with 'I Want You Back'. Jazzy, you should be right here." He places me between Justin and JC. I glare at JC before focusing on what the guys are doing. I watch in the mirrors and wait for Darren's cue. He counts us in and he breaks it down step by step. "Keep pace with JC or Justin."

I'm confused. "I'm supposed to learn James' moves so I can help him learn them."

Darren laughs. "Learn the basic moves first and then I will teach you Lance's specific moves."

I nod and we go from the top. I quickly learn and memorize the moves. Darren pulls me aside and has Andi watch them for any mistakes. Darren quickly teaches me Lance's steps and we go through the entire routine using Lance's steps. We drop back into formation and go through the routine with the boys. I learn all the steps and we rehearse until just after one and take a break for lunch. Lance and I sit against the wall, talking about how it's gonna be hard to stay in touch and how busy we're all gonna be. I like how I can still talk to him about anything. "Just make sure to make friends wherever you go, even at the beach."

I smile. "I'll try my best."

JC comes over and sits with us. "I'm sorry for waking you up like that."

"Meh, I'm over it. It happens and I don't blame you one bit."

"You just had to wake up?"

"Yeah. Darren made a comment how I'm kinda like you in the morning."

"Grumpy when I get woken up?"

"Yeah. I'm like that when I'm woken up the way you did this morning."

Justin and Chris come sit with us and we start thinking of ways to keep in touch other than phone calls. Joey comes over and we make a pact to call each other at least twice a week, write once a week (making sure to date the letters), send pictures every couple of months, and Joey would send me videos every couple weeks. We start laughing and joking about what we're gonna do when they come back home for the couple of months before they go on tour out here. We are laughing so hard that we're all bright red in the face. Andi comes over and looks at us like we're from Saturn. Justin pulls her down to sit between him and Chris. "We're coming up with ideas the seven of us can do when we come back from Europe. I'm gonna throw Jazz in the water, Chris is gonna bury her up to her neck in the sand, JC is gonna dump water on her, Joey's gonna tape it and Lance is gonna give JC the cold bottled water when we go to the beach during our two or three month break."

Andi smiles. "I'll make the sand Chris buries her in like mud."

I laugh. "Sounds like a great day at the beach and a plan."

We involve Andi in our plans of pranking and toturing each other and she's laugh just as hard as we are, allowing her guard down to enjoy herself. Darren announces a five minute warning and start planning pranks we could do to Darren later on, just before we head home. Andi looks at me with a serious look. "What's your full name?"

"Why?"

"You tell me yours and I'll tell you mine."

"Samantha Marilyn Charpentier."

"Andrealynn Michela Maki."

"Now I get why Justin called you 'Andrealynni' the other day."

"You heard that?"

"Yeah. I also heard most of the conversation you had with Josh that day. He is SO NOT my type."

"Hey!" JC crosses his arms across his chest and I smile at him.

Andi looks at me. "Why's that?"

"He's a nice guy, but he's become kinda like a brother or cousin to me."

"Ew! That would be too weird and just wrong."

We all laugh and throw our empty dishes out and get back to the grind of rehearsing. I fall into place by Lance, having learned all the moves he needs to know and keeping pace with him. He misses some steps and I pull him aside and work with him. I walk up to Darren. "Could we start from the top of 'Tearin Up My Heart'?"

"If you think it'll help Lance, sure."

"It will help him."
He nods, looks at Andi and she nods to signal that it's ready. Justin, Joey, Chris, and JC groan because they have to start from the top of the song. I fall into place with Lance and we go through the set five times before focusing  on specific songs. While I focus on specific songs with Lance, the other four guys get to sit back and watch how I work with Lance. I compliment the steps he does and he begins to smile becuase he's not only getting better, but enjoying it. The four of them are whispering about how Lance is getting better and that I make it more enjoyable for him. Around 7:30, JC walks up behind me and pokes my side, causing me to jump. "I think you've got him pretty close to where we are."

I nod and grab a towel to dry my face. We all had sweat dripping off of us. "What time is it?"

"It's half past seven. By the time we get to the house, it's gonna be quarter past 8."

"Wow! I just danced for what ten hours?"

"Closer to 11 1/2 hours, believe it or not."

"I think that's pretty good."

"That's unbelieveable, considering it was the first time for you."

"I've been dancing for fun since I could cruise furniture. Me and two of my friends would dance from like 5 at night till we went to bed around 9 or 10. It was for fun. When we did talent shows and little concerts or shows for our friends, families and neighborhoods."

"So you've been dancing for awhile and as long as you're moving and having fun, you don't care."

"Yeah. That was fun. Thanks for having me come."

"You're insane. Let's go home, so we can shower and relax a bit."

"We earned it?"

"Including you, psycho." He hugs me. "My little psycho dancer."

I look up at him and make a face. "I'll give you psycho dancer when i beat your ass in a dance off."

He steps back. "Are you challenging me, little girl?"

"Did you just call me 'little girl'? Yes, it is a challenge."

"What are you gonna do about it?"

"I'm SO kicking your ASS when we do this dance off, JOSH!"

He smiles, pats my head and runs for the van. I grab my sweatshirt and run after him. "We better get home then!" Lance, Joey, Justin and Chris follow us. I take the passenger seat and push JC, playfully. "This is why I treat you like a baby sister."

"Oh, yeah? Why's that?"
"You act like one."

"I am one. I have an older half brother, genius."

We're goofing off, picking on each other and laughing. "I am a genius." We look at each other and crack the fuck up. The van door for the back slides open and the others pile in.

Chris chimes in and says what's on his mind, "That just goes to show that I'm right and those two have lost their damn minds!"

JC and I start to laugh even harder. I stop laughing and turn to face Chris as JC pulls away from the warehouse. "Then you don't know pure genius when you see it. Einstein was mentally unstable and was a genius."

Lance turns around to look at Chris and nods his head in agreement. "She's got a point. He was out of his gourd. He was brilliant and crazy."

Justin starts talking about which actresses he'd love to date when he hits it big. Everyone gets into this conversation, saying which celebrities they'd want to be with when they get older. 

Joey leans between the front seats and looks at me. "What about you? What celebrity would you like to date when you get older?"

I think for a second. "Either LL Cool J or Bon Jovi."

They laugh and I smile. "They're like twice your age!"

"So? I love Bon Jovi's voice and LL Cool J's lips and body! Mmmmm, yummy!"

They laugh and shake their heads. "I don't know how we're gonna deal with out you."

I smile. "It's called a phone. Pick it up, dial my number and that's how you'll deal with me not being right there."

JC nods. "Good point."

We talk about how we plan on staying close and how I can always confide in them. We pull up to the house and pile out. Lynn is standing in the kitchen doorway. "You're an hour and a half late."

"It's my fault. I decided to focus on James' moves from five this afternoon until 7:30."

She looks at me and starts smiling. "In that case, I'll let it slide. Come eat and then shower."

We all nod and head for the kitchen. We sit down and start talking about what happened at rehearsal. Lynn listens as we all get excited and add our pieces to everyone else's stories. She is smiling and is happy to hear that Andi and I have begun to get along.

JC look at me and smiles. "You know, it's funny how you didn't wanna get up today, but you went along with it."

"I kinda had no choice. You probably would've carried me there in my clothes from yesterday."

"I considered it before yanking you off the bed and decided not to because it was more fun for me to do it the way I did. Plus, we had a deal."

Lance looks at the two of us. "What deal?"

"I go with her to get her mom last night and she'd help you learn the moves today and when we get back home."

"Sounds like an unfair deal."

I smile. "I like a challenge. I had fun keeping part of my end of it."

Everyone laughs. We continue talking about school, plans for when they come home, my plans for the beach on Saturday and what they wanna do while in Europe. I can't help but think of how I'm gonna miss them. They all smile at me and I smile as I eat the last of my food. I put my plate in the sink and head for the shower, grabbing pjs and my shower stuff. I get in the bathroom and enjoy my shower for the first twenty minutes.

Someone knocks on the door. "You ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"It's Chris. Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Give me ten and we can talk outside."

"In the yard?"

"Yeah."

"Ok."

I finish my shower, get my pjs on, put my stuff in Lance's room and head to the backyard. "Hey."

"What's up? You can tell us anything."

I tell him everything that's on my mind and how I'm gonna miss them. "I have no idea how I'm gonna get over a bad day."

"Like you said earlier-pick up the phone, dial one of our numbers and talk to us. We're always gonna be there for you somehow."

I sigh. "I know, but it won't be the same. You won't be able to give me a hug and tell me it's gonna be ok."

"I know that. At least we can always talk."

"True."

"Is that all that was bothering you?"

"Yeah."

"Come on, let's jump on the trampoline for a few minutes." He pulls me to my feet.

"I don't know."

He pulls me to the trampoline. "Come on. You'll feel better."

"No, it's alright."

"Come on. For me, please? I wanna see you smile."

"Fine." I roll my eyes and get on the trampoline. We start to goof off on it and before I know it I'm jumping around, laughing. Chris probably has years of practice doing this. He's got four sisters for crying out loud! We jump on the trampoline for about an hour before JC comes and tells us to come calm down in the living room. I do a handspring off the trampoline and Chris does a crowd cheer, causing us both to laugh like hyenas.
JC looks at us like we're crazy. "You're BOTH insane."

We come inside and JC turns on the light. Everyone says 'happy early birthday'. I smile. "Thanks. Just so you wouldn't miss it." We share a huge group hug before having a little cake and ice cream in the living room. We stay up till 1am talking and joking, making sure to laugh. They wanted to make their last full day with me full of laughter and smiles (as cheesy and nerdy as it sounds, it's what I think). They succeeded in making it a great day. I fall asleep in the chair while watching Disney movies with them. It may have been 'Little Mermaid', but I'm not too sure. I love how I spent most of today laughing and smiling. I know Lance and Joey were on the loveseat, while Chris, Justin, and JC were on the big couch. I love how they made today a great day. 

I wake up before even Lynn does. I shower and get dressed before I look for and find bacon, eggs, pancake mix, ham steaks and toast. I look at the clock on the coffee maker to find out that it's 5 in the morning. I roll my eyes as I make some coffee for the guys, Andi and Lynn. 'Thanks, Josh.' I grab a big glass of Lynn's delicious iced and lean on the living room door frame, watching Andi and the guys sleeping for a minute before I start breakfast. I smile and turn around, heading for the kitchen. I pull the pans I'll need to make this breakfast for them, I cook the bacon and ham steaks in separate pans and at the same time. I make the pancakes in a third pan and prep the eggs to be cooked (I can only make scrambled eggs). I cut red, green and yellow peppers, broccoli, and mushrooms up and put them in the eggs. I put the scrambled egg mix in the pan for the eggs and start to cook the mix. I put 6 canisters of biscuits in the oven. I'm almost done and it's almost 6am.

I hear someone in the living room waking up."Mmmmm. Ham, bacon, eggs, pancakes, and biscuits. Coffee too?" I see JC come around the corner into the kitchen with a sleepy smile on his face.

I smile as I see him grab a mug and get some coffee before he turns to face me, leaning back on the counter. "Morning, Josh."

"You're up at the ass crack of dawn."

"So aren't you."

"Touche. Was my analysis of aromas correct?"

"Yes, your nose is right."

He smiles even bigger, still half asleep. "What did you put in the eggs?"

"Broccoli, mushrooms, red, green and yellow peppers."

"Cool. They're colorful. Like you." He has that smart ass smile on his face.

"Isn't it too early for you to be a smart ass?"
"Not when I'm woken up by the smell of food. I love being woken up by the smell of good food."

I make our plates up as I cook. I put the biscuits in a bowl as everything else finishes around the same time-three pancakes, some eggs, bacon and hamsteak for everyone. I put the butter, syrup, OJ, apple juice, milk and ketchup on the table. "You wanna see how I can get the rest of the guys and Andi up using five words?" It's almost 6am.

"Sure."

I walk into the living room. "Hey, food's on the table!" Justin, Joey, Chris, and Andi jump up and run for the kitchen. Lance gets up and quickly walks out of the room, making sure to mutter his thanks as he passes me and JC. I cross my arms and look at JC, with a 'told ya so' smirk on my face.

He nods at me. "Impressive." We walk back to the kitchen doorway.

I look at Justin. "Go wake your mom." He groans, gets up and knocks on Lynn's bedroom door. "Momma, Jazzy made us breakfast."

"Be out in a minute."

"Ok, momma." He walks right up to me.

I pat his cheek. "That's a good boy, Justin." I giggle at his 'fuck you' face. "That's so cute." He smiles and flips me off.

JC sits down. "Might not wanna piss her off, I like when she cooks for us like this."

Joey, Chris and Andi agree. Lance smiles. "Even though it's early, she's being nice."

Lynn comes out and smiles at me. I smile and nod at her. "Morning, Lynn. Thank you, James. Someone appreciates my cooking or is kissing up."

JC quietly chuckles. "I know I'm not kissing up. I really liked what you made the other night. I'll tell you if this tastes horrible."

I look at him with a slight hint of annoyance. "Josh."

Lance smiles. "You know JC is always gonna be brutally honest."

I nod and we all sit down, say grace and enjoy breakfast. I hear a chorus of 'mmmm's, 'this is good's, and 'sure you're only going on 13?'s as they eat. Even from Andi. "I love your cooking! I grew up with Lynn's cooking and everything, but this is soooo good. You have to teach me when we come back."

I smile. "Thanks. Of course I will. Make sure you pay attention because I don't measure my ingredients." She nods and everyone is so focused on their food, that only Lynn and I are even talking. "Lynn, is there any other recipes you may need?"

"I'll find out from the boys and Andi."

Chris looks like he's in heaven as he eats his pancakes. "Get her pancake recipe!" he loudly requests after swallowing a mouthful.

Joey, JC, Lance and Andi agree. Justin hasn't touched his yet. "Are her pancakes that good?" They all nod at him. He takes a bite and starts pointing and 'mmmmm'ing about the pancakes.

I smile. "Thanks. It's my gramma's recipe. Those are her sweet pancakes."

I look around the table and see that each one of the boys and Andi are in heaven as they eat. Lynn gets my attention. "So far they want me to get the recipes for your mashed potatoes, homemade mac and cheese, and pancakes."

"At least you get to expand your cookbook."

We laugh. "Justin always says he loves home cooked meals."

"Joey would go absolutely out of his mind over the lasagne, stuffed shells and homemade spaghetti sauce my mom and I make."

Joey snap his head up. "Canooakeitwhenwegetack?"

I look at him. "Chew, swallow and repeat your request or question."

He swallows, drinks some of his apple juice and looks at me. "Can you make it when we get back?"

"Yes, I can manage that. The sauce takes a day to make, I can make homemade meat balls, the sauce, pasta, sausage, lasagne, stuffed shells, and manacotti."

"Thanks! You know how to spoil an Italian."

"My mom dated one. Mangi. Enjoy this."

Joey goes back to eating and I smile at all of them. Almost twenty minutes after Joey's request, we've all eaten our fill and they clean up the kitchen. JC smiles at me. "You did good."

I nod. "Thanks."

Justin is groaning, most likely because he ate a little too much. I'm glad I made some extra pancakes and eggs. Just enough for everyone to enjoy seconds. Chris is rubbing his belly, looking like he could just fall asleep. Lance is in a very good mood. Joey's looking forward to coming back. Andi is so calm. I get told by the six of them to go in the living room and they'll take care of putting it away and washing the dishes. Andi pushes me out of the kitchen. "Get out of here, we got it."

I put my hands up in surrender. "Ok, ok, I'll wait in the living room." I head in the living room, look at the Sega and decide to find out if they have any Sonic games. "You guys have any Sonic The Hedgehog games?" Chris comes in and pulls out the Sonic games and quickly darts back into the kitchen to help with cleaning. I put in Sonic 2 and start whooping Robotnik's ass. Hey girls play video games and some of us really do get really into them. I'm one of them. By the time they finish up the kitchen and let me know they're even in the living room, I've almost beaten Robotnick's ass for the third time. I get the last hit in on Robotnik and get excited. "Whoo! Robotnik, you just got your butt whooped! Yeah!"They try not to laugh at me.

JC mangaes to say he thinks it's great how I get excited about beating the enemy. "Well, it is. I love it." He finally breaks out laughing. I shrug and continue playing. I get bored and switch to the first Sonic. I put in the master code which brings me to the level selection screen. "How in the-?"

"My little secret." I start one of the Chaos Emerald/bonus levels.

"Teach us."
"Watch my fingers." I restart the Sega and re-enter the code.

"One more time." I do it once more. "I got it."

I look at them, one at a time. Everyone but Lance caught it. I pass the controller around and have each of them try it. I have Joey try it first, then Andi, Justin, JC (he takes five tries to get it right...perfectionist), Chris (three tries) and Lance looks at me as I pass the controller to him. He shakes his head. "I'm alright."

"Come on. Try. For me?" I pout.

He looks at me and sighs before taking the controller. I sit behind him on the coffee table and show him the buttons a couple times as he watches my fingers. He quickly gets it and copies the sequence, getting it right. He smiles and looks at me after the level select screen pops up. (Yes, there really is a sequence of buttons that can cause the level select screen to pop up for the first Sonic game and it only works for the Sega Genesis version. I've tried for other systems that have Sonic.) "That was easier than I thought."

"Just like the dance moves."

"Yeah, just like the moves."

We all take turns playing levels of Sonic for the next 3 hours. Around 10:30, Lynn tells us to turn the game off and make sure we have everything ready to go. Their flight departs at 2:40 this afternoon. JC sees me shuffle past his door. "Jazz." I turn to face him and he gives me a reassuring hug. "We'll miss you too. We're only a phone call, letter or text away. We're only gonna be gone for a few months."

"More like a year, if not longer."

He pulls away and looks at me. "It's not the end of the world and we will keep in touch. Ok?"

I nod and he hugs me again. "Do you think your parents would be ok with bringing me to the airport to say bye to you guys, Andi, and Lynn?"

"We can find out once you check if you have everything packed and ready."
I nod and smile. "Thanks." I run off and make sure I have everything ready to go. I walk back to JC's room, my bags in my hands (one bag for dirty clothes and one for clean), and he's not even in there. "Josh?"

"In the living room, Jazz." I walk in as he gets up. "Ready? Bringing those over now?"

"Yeah, might as well since I'll be spending tonight and tomorrow night there." I shrug.

"Makes sense. Let's go."

We walk over to his parents' and he hears them in the backyard. Heather sees me and comes up. "Hey. Mom and dad let us take today off to see the guys off at the airport."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Where can I put my clean clothes" I lift my right hand "and my dirty clothes?" I lift my left hand.

She laughs. "Sure. Come on." She leads the way to the laundry room and up to her room. "Do you have a bathing suit in your bag?"

"Three, as a matter of fact. They're bikinis."
"Ok. I'm gonna miss Josh."

"Me, too. I'm gonna miss em all."

"Heather! Jazzy!" Roy yells for us.We look at each other and shrug as we turn to run downstairs and out to the yard. We stop right in front of him. "Jazzy, do you want to come with us to see the boys, Andi and Lynn off at the airport?"

"Yes, please. I wanna see them off."

"Ok, it's settled then. We'll follow you guys in the station wagon."

JC nods. "Thanks, dad. Jazz, you staying here until it's time to go?"

"When's that?"

He looks at his watch. "In an hour."

"What time is it?"

"11:30. We leave early so we can have time to say good-bye."

"What time is your flight?"

"It departs just before 3."

I nod and hug Josh. "I'm gonna miss your grumpy moods."

"I'm gonna miss you too."

He walks back over to Lynn's and finishes getting everything ready to go with everyone else. We leave right around half past noon to get to the airport and see them off. They check in and we meet at the gate. They all hug their families and me. The guys and Andi give me a group hug. "Don't go forgetting me... I'll kick your ass if you do."

They all look at me, smiling. JC speaks for the six of them. "Really now, shorty?"

I sniffle, obviously fighting back tears. "Yeah, I'll beat your asses senseless if you do. I'll find a way."

They each hug me again, JC hugs me a few seconds longer than the others. "I'll take your word for it." Their flight is called over the speakers. "That's us. You have to let go, Jazz." I let him go. "Be good, stay strong and keep in touch."

I nod. "I will." I step back and let Tyler hug me as I wave to the guys, Andi and Lynn. I feel a few tears slide down my face, from my blue eyes to my chin, before landing on Tyler's shirt. "I miss them already."

Tyler rubs my back. "We all do."

Roy pats my shoulder. "Come on."

Tyler pats my back. "Let's go back home." I nod as I keep trying to fight back the tears, losing the battle. The whole drive back to the Chasezs, I can't manage to get a word out. When we pull up at their house, Tyler smiles at me. "We're here." I nod and get out. They tried to console me the whole way back from the airport. We get back to their house right around dinner. I go in the backyard and lay in the hammock. I lay in it like I did with Justin and Lance, across it so I can push it like it's a swing. "Are you mad?"

"No. Just thinking. I'll be ok in a few minutes. It just has to sink in that they're not here and that it's gonna be ok."

"You know you have me, if you ever need anything, right?"

"Yeah, I know I have you and the rest of the guys' families. I'll be in a few minutes."

"Alright." He heads inside and I stay there for about ten minutes, take a deep breath, think of the notes I had put in their carry on bags and luggage. It makes me smile. They all have five notes. They each have notes saying I'll miss them and they have a reason for why I'm gonna miss them, even Andi.

I go inside and Karen smiles. I can tell she misses them already too. "It's ok, Mrs. Chasez. They know we love and miss them, even Josh. They miss us too."
We have dinner and hang out, talking about what we're gonna do in Tampa. We hit the beach tomorrow! WHOOOOOO, TAMPA!!! Heather, Tyler and I pick up after dinner and do dishes. Roy comes to us around 9 and tells us it'd be a good idea to go to bed. "We're getting up at 5 to be out the door for 6:30. We want to get there by 9. If we get there early enough, we'll get a good spot on the sand."

Heather and I talk about working on our tans and swimming in the ocean upstairs in her room. I'm excited cuz the last time I went to any beach was Hampton Beach in New Hampshire this past August.

I wake up to a voicemail on my cell. It's 4am and I'm awake. I see I missed JC's call at 11:30 last night. I was out like a light. I check my voicemail (the guys taught me. Never had a cell in my life, so give me a break) and find out it's JC. "Hey, it's Josh. We landed just fine. We're alive. This is when you get your texting down to a science. Have fun with my family at the beach. Text me when you wake up. Love you guys." I smile, knowing they were safe. I grab my shower stuff, a bright teal bikini, shorts, and a tank top that had 'Hampton Beach, NH' written across the front of it. I had taken a bright blue sharpie and written 'August 96' on the back of the orange tank top. The shorts used to be a pair of jeans but I needed shorts last summer, so gramma helped me cut them so they weren't what she called 'skanky'. I get in the shower, wash up, get out, dry off, get dressed and go back in Heather's room. I brush out my hair and let it air dry, allowing my natural waves to appear over time as it dried. Yeah, other than my French and Blackfoot Indian heritages, it's all my dad left me with. It's almost quarter till five. I head downstairs and make myself some cereal, which Karen and Roy said I could do. They said as long as JC calls me a friend and am fair to everyone, I can eat when I visit (yes, even if it's just to check in and talk for five minutes).

I try my hand at texting. I send it to Chris. 'You up, spazznard?'

'Uh, duh'

'What time is it there?'

'Almost 11a'

'Haha its almost 5a'

'Text you later, interview in ten mins. Miss you all'

"Ok, miss you guys too'

It took me a couple minutes to type the first one, and what probably felt like forever to Chris for every answer I sent. I wake up Heather. "Heather."

"Ehhhh?"

"You should get in the shower before Tyler gets up."

She gets out of bed, grabs her clothes and bikini, and jumps in the shower. I get a text from JC, Justin and Lance. I get frustrated and call JC.

It rings once and he picks up. "Hey, Jazz."
"I can't text. No patience right now."

He laughs. "I know it took you twenty minutes to finish a five minute texting conversation."

I look annoyed as Tyler pops his head in the door. "You have more time texting than I have. That was my first one. I had to make sure it was spelled right."

Tyler mouths 'Josh?' and I nod. I hear Lance and Joey bombarding JC with questions. "You want me to tell them you need more practice texting before we send texts that close again?" He laughs again.

"Y'all are a-holes. You planned that."

He laughs even harder. "Joey and I did. Lance was texting you anyway."

"I know you guys have an interview in like 2 minutes, so I'm gonna let you go. Talk later?"

"Or text. You have to practice it anyway."

"Alright. Later."

"Bye."

We hang up and I yawn. Tyler's still standing in the doorway. "What's on ya mind?"

"Josh and the boys ok? Andi and Lynn safe?"

"Yes, they're all fine."

He nods and gets his clothes together and Heather comes back in her room. "Ready for Tampa?"

"A day at the beach with friends? I'm so ready for this."

Roy gets up and checks on us. "You girls ready?"

We look at each other, smile and nod. "Ready as we're gonna get."

"Thanks again, Mr. Chasez."

"Just call me Roy, Jazzy."

"Thanks, Roy."

We grab our beach bags and we head out. I go back to sleep during the hour and a half ride to the beach. We get there and Heather says, "Jazz, we're at the beach get up."

"I'm up." I stretch and we catch up with her parents and brother. We put our beach blanket a few feet away and we lay on the blanket talking about what it was like to live with Tyler and JC. After awhile, I start to feel a sunburn coming on. "Hey, Heather, I'm gonna go for a quick dip."

"Alright, I'll go with you."
"It's ok."
"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'll be back in a few."

"Ok."

I go straight for the ocean and can't wait to get in. I love the ocean. I go in and swim for a few minutes. I see 3 girls and a boy (brother and sisters?) playing in the water nearby. They have blonde (the younger two) and dirty blonde hair. I walk over to them because they're only up to the boy's waist deep, talking about something. I see the middle girl with her hands on her hips. The boy splashes her and she tries to block the water, laughing. "Aaron, stop."

"Hi."

"Oh, hi. You're new around here?"

"How can you tell?" I mentally smack myself.

"You're as red as a lobster."

"I'm originally from Massachusetts."

"I'm Leslie." We shake hands. "This is my older sister, BJ, my little sister, Angel, and my baby brother, Aaron."

"I'm not a baby."
She looks at him, annoyed. "I stand corrected, annoying little brother. We also have a big brother, Nick, but he's in Europe right now. He should be back by the time winter vacation comes around, mid-February."

"I'm Jazzy. Your brother is kinda cute."

She laughs. "Imagine him about 5'9", blue eyes and 15 right now."

I imagine it and smile. "Why?"

"That's Nick."

I smile. "Where do you guys live?"

"Here, in Tampa. This is our favorite beach."

"This is a beautiful beach."

"Where are you staying?"

"My mom and I just moved to Orlando."

"Really? Maybe our mom and dad will drive there so we can hang out."

"I can give you my number so you can call me. Do you wanna hang out next weekend?"

"Yeah, we can talk on the phone till then."

"I'll be right back. I can grab my little notebook and a pen. Where's your spot?"

She points to her parents (I hope) and they wave back to her. "That's our mom and dad. We're getting out of the water in a minute. We'll be over there."

"Cool meet you there."

"Ok." Aaron splashes her again and she splashes him back. They start laughing.

I run to my beach bag, grab my notebook, a pen and let Heather know that I made a few new friends. "How did you do that?"

I point out Aaron, Angel, Leslie and BJ. "They're siblings."

"Where's their beach blanket?"

I point to their parents. "Right there. That's their mom and dad."

"Ok, but make sure I can see you. If you get lost or hurt, Josh would never let me forget it."

"Ok. Thanks, Heather." I walk halfway down the beach to meet Aaron, Angel, BJ (what is her first name?) and Leslie. "Hey."
"Jazzy, come on. Come meet our mom and dad. You can meet Nick after he comes home. Might be a week before he does anything besides sleep when he gets home."

I laugh. "That's alright. Guys sleep alot."

"Unless they're Aaron. Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"Older half brother."
"How far apart are you?"

"Almost 10 years."

"So he's already living on his own?"

"Yeah."

We stop at their beach blanket. "Mom, Dad, this is Jazzy. This is our mom, Jane, and our Dad, Rob."

I shake their hands. "Nice to have met you."

Jane smiles and nods. "What's your real name, Jazzy?"
"Samantha Charpentier."

Rob looks at me. "Our last name is Carter. Do you have any relatives out this way?"

"No. I just moved from Massachusetts."

We sit there and talk about family and get to know each other. We exchange numbers and have PB&J sandwiches. Her mom is willing to follow the Chasezs back to Orlando so they can meet my mom. I'm nervous. I hope Ma is ok with meeting Jane, Rob, Leslie, Aaron, Angel and BJ. Just as I'm praying Ma is ok with it, BJ interupts my thoughts. "Jazzy, how'd you get your nickname?"
"My friends and family have been calling me Jazzy since I could cruise furniture because I dance when music plays. We dubbed it 'jazzing', well. my friend's older sister did."

"My first name is Bobbie."

"Makes sense. Just curious, does Nick have a girlfriend?"

"No, he doesn't. He's always busy, though. When he's home, he spends it with our family and some friends. He might even make time for us to go see you. We'll find out when we talk to him. Can we take pictures of you?"

"Sure." I sit back, like I would normally and I start laughing about what Aaron was saying. I hear Leslie wind her camera. "You got that on film."

"Yeap."

Roy calls for me. "I gotta go."

I hear a camera wind five or six times. Aaron had a huge grin on his face. "Thank me later when Nick's your boyfriend."

I hang my head and shake it. "See you around." I go over to Roy. "Hey."

"Invite them over, if you want."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, go on."

I walk back over. "Roy, my friends' dad said to invite you to get to know you."

Jane and Rob look at each other. "Ok. Could you help us?"

"Sure." I help them move over near our beach blankets. "Roy, Karen, Heather, Tyler, meet the Carters-Jane, Rob, Aaron, Angel, Leslie, and Bobbie. Everyone calls her BJ. Carters meet the Chasezs-Roy, Karen, Tyler and Heather. Josh is their older brother and is in Europe, just like Nick is."

Roy, Rob, Jane and Karen start talking about JC and Nick. I roll my eyes and strike up a conversation about embarrassing moments and birthdays. Leslie says hers is June 6, Bobbie's is Janurary 12, Aaron and Angel are twins and theirs is December 7, and Nick's is January 28. Leslie talks about how Aaron pranked Nick on his 15th birthday. "Nick was so mad at us. He didn't talk to us for two days."

I laugh as my cell phone rings. I pull it out of my bag and look at it. JC has such bad timing. "Excuse me." I answer it. "Yeah, Josh."

"Just making sure you're having fun."
"Yeah."

"Meet anyone new?"

"Yeah, I met Nick, um, what's your guys' last name again, Leslie?"

"Carter."

"Thanks. Nick Carter's family. His brother, sisters and parents."

JC busts out laughing like a hyena. "He's in the Backstreet Boys."

"In the what?"

"It's a pop group of guys, just like me, Justin, Joey, Lance and Chris. They're also based out of Orlando. Know what? Just get to know him, he's a cool kid."

"Really?"

"You're probably just going to do it either way. When does he get back to Florida?"

"Middle of next month."

"I can find out from Johnny exactly when and let him know to make sure to call and talk to you before that."

"Ok. Thanks. You're a good friend."

"As long as you're happy, I'm happy."

"Alright, thanks. Call you later?"

"Yeah."

"Bye."

"Bye."

We hang up. "That was Josh. He knows your brother. They have the same manager."

Leslie perks up, smiling. "Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. Josh said he'd try to have your brother call me. If he doesn't, I guess I'll just meet him when he comes home."

She smiles and it worries me. It's the kind of smile that tells you that person has a plan forming in their mind. I didn't know whether to worry or be happy. "Well, my mom is gonna wanna meet your parents. Maybe even you."

"That's ok." She quickly changes the topic to school and I notice that she and Bobbie are trading glances and watching me out of the corner of their eyes. I don't really think of it.

Roy stands up and asks me, Tyler and Heather to help him and Karen pick up. I notice the Carter clan doing the same, they were following us to Orlando to meet my mom. "Jazzy, your mom gets home around when?"

"Usually by 4:30ish."

"That means she's been home for almost an hour. Make sure she's aware you're being dropped off and the Carters are coming to meet her."
I nod. "Ok." I pull my phone out and call my house.

"Hello?"

"Ma, I made some more friends and they would like to meet you."

"Is it like the other night?"

"No, Ma. Just a family. Six people and their oldest isn't home right now."

"That's fine. When?"

"In the next two hours? They're following us from Tampa."

"I suppose."

"Thanks, Ma. We're just leaving the beach in Tampa as we talk." We had already packed up the stuff and we're putting it in the Chasezs' car.

"See you in the next couple hours."

"Love you, Ma."
"Love you too."

We hang up. "Roy, my mom says it's fine with her."

"Then it's settled."

We pile into the cars and I fall asleep ten minutes into the ride. Tyler gently shakes me. "You want me to stay with you?"

"Please? I wanna walk back to your house."

He nods. "Nervous?"

"Only because I have to make sure my mom meet every one of my friends that I make here."

"It gets easier."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

The Carter clan get out of their van and walk up to me. "If you say so, 'Ler." I smile at them. "This way." I unlock the front door and walk in. "Ma?"

"Give me a second, I'll be right out." Sounds like she's in the kitchen.

"Have a seat." I motion to the living room set I've grown up seeing in the living room. "I'll be right back." They nod and sit down. I turn on my heel and walk in the kitchen to give my mom the run down of what I know. I point each one of them out, giving her their names, ages (the kids' of course), and what I knew about Nick (holding back that he's in a band, of course). We walk out and I introduce them to one another. "I believe they can have Nick meet you when he comes back home."

Ma nods and smiles. "That's fine. So what do you do for work?"

They go into detail about their jobs. "What do you do for work yourself, Vikki?"

She tells them about the IRS and cuts it short. "I don't mean to be rude but I think we should cut this short. Jazzy and I have to get up early." She grabs a piece of paper and writes the house number on it. "Why don't you call me in the morning and we can set something up for the kids? Maybe next weekend?"

Jane's eyes light up. "Of course. Maybe you and I could get coffee or have brunch together."

"We'll see about that. Keep in touch." They shake hands and the Carters leave. I walk back over to Ma and hug her. "They seem nice. I'm sure Nick is a sweet boy. You can spend time with their kids."

"Thanks, Ma."

Ma looks at the couch she had been standing next to the whole time, finally realizing Tyler was there. "Hey, Tyler." She pats his shoulder. "You two seeing each other?"

My mouth drops open and I'm shocked that she'd ask him that. Tyler smiles. "No, we're not. Josh asked me and Heather to make sure she stays safe and out of trouble while he's not here."

"Oh, why would he do that?"

"He treats her like he does me and Heather, like family."

"He seems to be protective of her, like a couple of her cousins."

"Probably because he knows that she's not from here and could use the moral and emotional help. Someone to look after her when you can't."

"When is that?"

"When she's not home or with you." Tyler pulls out the Chasez charm.

Ma caves, smiling back at him. "You two better get over to your house before it gets too late, Tyler."

"Yes, we should." He emphasizes 'we' a bit too strongly.

I snap out of it and tell my mom I'd see her in the morning. We get three houses down the road. I run my hand over my hair, knowing it's tangled from swimming and letting it dry with out brushing it. "I can't believe she'd ask that." We talk about why my mom would say that and when I would start dating. We talked about what we liked in the opposite gender, what attracts us, what catches our eye, and what the turn offs are.

We walk in his parents' house, laughing. "Mom, Dad. Jazz and I just got back. We're gonna go talk while we lay on the hammock."

I see Roy come from around the corner. "Alright. Take a couple blankets out there. It's a little chilly."

"Thanks, Dad." He grabs some blankets and we go lay on the hammock, talking to the point of near exhaustion.

My cell phone rings and I don't recognize the number. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's Leslie. I got someone on the phone that you definintely wanna get to know."

I snap up on the hammock, almost causing it to flip over, wide awake. "Who might that be?"

"My older brother, Nick."

"Right."
Then I hear his voice and almost melt, not even caring or remembering that Tyler is laying right near me. "Um, hi. I'm Nick. Les, I don't even know why I let you talk me into this."

"Hi, I'm Jazzy."

"Wow. You sound beautiful."

"You sound cute too."

"Les, you can hang up now. I'll talk to her."

"You're welcome, Nick."

"Yeah, thanks." I hear Leslie hang up. "So, tell me what you look like. Aaron says you're breath-takingly beautiful."
"Awww, that's so sweet. They took some pictures of me at the beach today. I'm about five feet tall, dirty blonde hair, ocean blue eyes, I have freckles that go from one cheek bone to the other, size 5 jeans, long legs, tomboyish, my hair goes halway down my back."

"What about your body type?"

"Athletic. I love to dance and I have to keep in shape to dance. I have big hips and a little apple shaped butt, or so I've been told by my guy friends back home."

"Oh, wow. Do you have a body shape?"

"I've been told that I have an hourglass body."

"I'm 5'10", blonde hair, mushroom cut, blue eyes, freckles that show up when I'm in the sun too long where you have yours, I sing, I dance, and I guess I have a pretty well toned athletic body."

I picture this. "Jeans and jersey with sneakers or dressy?"
"Jeans, jersey and sneakers, baby." I laugh. "I love your laugh. I'm laying in my bunk and you got me smiling."

"You're welcome. Why are you in a bunk?"

"I'm on a tour bus, touring Europe."

"It must be beautiful."

"It is." He's talking so softly. "It's also like 3:30 in the morning here."
"Oh. I can let ya go so you can sleep."
"That's ok. I'd rather talk to you. I can't fall asleep anyway."

I giggle. "Ok. Do you like sports?" I realize he's a guy, of course he does.

"Football and basketball."

'Bingo! Something in common! I'm gonna have to thank his sister!' "I like football. It's more fun to play football."

"Touch football?"

"That's for sissies. Tackle football."

"You really are a tomboy. Cool. Maybe after I get home we could meet up?"

"I'd love to. I live in Orlando, though."

"I can see if my mom would let me stay with Howie or something. My friends and I have a group and my mom lets me stay with them sometimes. I'll call my parents and ask tomorrow."

"I guess that will work. How close do they live from my mom's?"

"From what Aaron and Leslie tell me, about three blocks away."

"Wow, that's pretty close."

"Yeah, it is. Maybe we can become pretty close friends."

"I hope so." Nick and I talk for a couple more hours before Roy comes out and tells me and Tyler it's time to get to bed cuz it's almost 11:30.

"Well, I have to let you go because Howie, Brian and Kevin are up. They're looking at me like they wanna kick my butt. I'm glad I have today off. Can I call you later?"

"Sure. 407-237-9735, I'm learning how to text. If you text me, I'm not very good at it."

He laughs. "I'm not, either. I'm getting pretty good at it, but not that good."

I laugh. "Maybe you can help me learn?"

"Sure. I gotta let you go and I'll call you later. I look forward to talking to you."

"Ok. Bye." We hang up and I get off the hammock, heading straight for Heather's room. I sit in her moon chair after I text Chris. 'Just talked to Nick. He's nice. Just friends.'  I think about what we could do to get to know each other.

I get up around 7:30 to shower and get ready to go. I forgot to wash my clothes. I see my cell phone in my lap and put it on Heather's dresser without checking it. I head to the laundry room to catch a glimpse of a familiar shade of teal out of the corner of my eye on the island counter in the kitchen. I check the neatly folded stack of clothes and find that they are mine. Then I notice a note beside the pile.

'Jazzy,

I saw your bag in the laundry room and knew you meant to wash them. The past two days have been hard on you, dealing with the boys and Andi having to leave. I know you just moved to Orlando, which makes it even harder. I washed and dried them. Your attention is on trying to get through your first week here. You start school tomorrow. I miss them too. I'm always here for you.

Love you.

-Karen'

Wow. She just amazes me. When did she have time to do this for me? I turn the paper over and write on the back.

'Karen,

Thank you for opening your home, heart and arms to me. Thank you for doing the little bit of laundry I had forgotten about. Thank you for understanding that my mind is in a chaotic state right now. I will make sure to hug you when I see you next. No words can express my thankfullness and appreciation for you and your family.

Love you more.

~Jazz'

I grab my clothes and race upstairs to finish packing before I head home. I'm going over my mental checklist, making sure I had everything in my bag, before checking the time. 'Ugh, only 8:45. I can leave around 9:15 and be home a few minutes early.' I shrug and sit in the moon chair, checking my voicemail and texts. No voicemails. But there are six texts. Justin is so corny in his text to me-something about having a water gun fight when they get home. I smile and tell him to bring it on.

Chris sent a text asking if I'm ok and wanting to know what Nick and I talked about. I tell him that we talked about music, football, and whatever came to mind. I make sure to reassure him that nothing will come of it for a long time, six months or more. I'm confusing, I know. Welcome to the world of most girls, it's even more true with teenage girls.

Lance's text was just to be funny. He sent five words-'Hey, food's on the table.' His way of starting inside jokes using quotes. I send him back a quote of his own-'That was easier than I thought.' Joey sent me a knock, knock joke and I try not too laugh too loud, not wanting to wake Heather. I send Joey a text, telling him that I'm laughing like crazy. JC's text simply said to call him, I guess he doesn't like texting either. I look at the time and it's 9a. I decide to leave just a little earlier. I grab my bags and cell phone before heading out, locking the door handle as I leave. It's a habit. I get halfway down the path from the house and call JC.

Two rings. "Hello?"

"Josh, it's Jazz. You said to call you."

"Yeah, I did. How was the rest of yesterday?"

"Really good. Ma met the Carter clan sans Nick." I wonder if I should tell him Leslie three wayed with Nick and I, practically forcing us to talk. I decide to tell him, knowing if I don't Tyler or Chris will. "I talked to Nick last night."
"What about?"

"Football, described myself, he described himself, music, dancing, you know, the general get to know each other kinda things."

"Anything between you?"

"Other than starting a friendship? No, nothing. I haven't even met him yet."

He laughs, knowing damn well I'm smarter than that. "Someone has to make sure you're not doing stupid shit."

"Hey, I resent that!"

"Hey, you're a teen and a girl. Newsflash-you're gonna do some stupid shit sometime in the next few years."

"Fuck off."

"Things like that. Watch ya mouth. At least until you turn 14."

"Friday. I can't wait. I also can't wait for you guys to come back home so I can make all the foods you guys are gonna fall in love with. Especially the Italian one." Yes, I mean Joey.

JC laughs pretty hard and I hear the other guys ask what's so funny. He probably waved em off. "I'll tell you guys later. We'll see about that."

"Hey, I know it's almost a year from now, but could we find a way to spend Christmas or Thanksgiving together?"

"All of us?"

"Yeah."

"We'll plan it as it gets closer. For now, just worry about us remembering your birthday."

"Alright. Justin's birthday is the 31st and Joey's is the 28th, right?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Just making sure. I'm trying to figure out what to do."

"You have plenty of time."

"Hey, I'm almost home. Call you later?"

"Yeah, we just started the promo tour here in Europe."

"Just a day of riding a huge bus with 4 other guys, slowly going batty?"

"Yes, Jazz, that's exactly it."

"Aight, later."

"Bye."

I walk up the path and unlock the door. I look at the time on my cell to make sure I got home by ten. It's only 9:37, showed up just over twenty minutes early. Ma comes out of nowhere (her room, actually) and scares the shit outta me. "Jazzy."

I spin around and see Ma. "Hey, Ma." I give her a hug. "I'm home and early even."

"Good. It looks like it's just you and me today. Beverly and the girls got a call last night. Some of their family is visiting today."

I shrug. They have family and that comes first. I know I'm only going on 13, but gramma taught me alot. I should call her tonight. "Family first, like gramma always tells us."

"So Universal Studios or Disney World?"

"Ma, I'm getting too old for Disney world."

"Universal it is."

"Can I bring my tapes?" The Mustang only has a tape player.

"Sure. It's not a long ride."

Ma doesn't like my music. She's an oldies and country kinda person. I like rap, hip-hop, R&B, pop, complete opposites musically. I just heard this new group, 112, and spent the money on their debut album. Ma says it 'drips sex'. I make sure to grab that and a few other tapes. I change my mind and just take the whole mesh bag of tapes. We head out to Universal and spend the rest of the morning going on rides. We take a break from the rides to enjoy lunch and catch up on what we've done over the past few days. My cell rings and it's Leslie. "I have a call."

"Go ahead." Ma knows I need friends right now.

I pick up. "Hey, Les."

"Why, hello. Just talked to Nick and we have a 15 minute window before he calls you."

"Really now?"

"What did you talk to him about?"

"We just got to know each other and we just talked is all. Why?"

"You got him hooked. He likes you. He's digging you."

"Nah, he ain't digging me."

"He is really digging you."

"How can you tell?"

"He asked for me to mail him the pictures we took of you yesterday."
"What?" I get up and walk across the food court so Ma can't hear my end of the conversation. "I didn't even look good."

"Girl, he goes for the natural beauty. He loves your personality. He's in love with your voice."

"I don't, I just, what is so addicting about my voice?"

"He couldn't stop thinking about you."

"Really? Why me?"

"Why question it?"

"I don't think I'm that good looking."

"Ppppppffffffffftttttttttt! Girl, you are gorgeous, you have a beautiful personality and our parents adore you."
"I guess that's one thing I don't have to worry about."

We laugh. "Yeah, mom is picky about who's around us, especially when it comes to Nick and Aaron."

"Well, Nick said something about staying in Orlando with one of his friends."

"I know he talked to mom and dad about it. They said he can stay at AJ's. He comes back February 18th."

"Is that the date to set?"

"Yeah. Mark your calender."

We laugh. "Hey, I'll buzz ya later."

"Alright. Later, Les."

I hang up and smile, wondering how in the world Nick likes me when he hasn't even met me yet. I remember that he asked Leslie to develop the pictures from yesterday and send them to him. I start worrying about if they come out good until my train of thought is interupted by my cell ringing. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's Nick."

I smile again. "Hey, you. How was your morning or day?"

Nick chuckles. "It's almost 7 at night here."

"Where's here?"

"Spain. Madrid, I think."

"I bet it's beautiful."

"Yeah, it is. Speaking of beautiful, I asked my sister to send me copies of the pictures of you from the beach, yesterday."

"I know. She called me."

"I bet you're just saying you look alright and you're actually more beautiful than you tell."
"I'm just shy. I think my hips are too big. I know I'm dealing with so many changes right now, including my body."

"I love your honesty and personality."

I look down. "Thanks."
"I think the most important thing in a girl is her personality."

"So, who are you staying with? Did your parents ok you staying in Orlando?"
"My parents said I can stay in 'Lando, at AJ's. They also said that you have to meet Kevin, Brian, Howie and AJ."

"Why?"

"Kevin is like the dad of us, Howie's the best one to get advice from, Brian is just curious about who you are, and AJ thinks he's gonna make you his girlfriend."

"AJ can dream on cuz I ain't looking for a man. He may not even be my type."

He laughs. I shiver, loving the sound of his laughter. "Good point. Can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"I hung up with you last night and I slept great. I dreamed about you, holding you."

"Why?"

"There's something about you that just gets to me."

I giggle, nervoous. "We ain't even met. How could you dream about me? Why would you wanna hold me?"

"I don't know. I know this may sound crazy, but your voice is melodic and soothing to me. Your laugh is contagious. Your giggle makes me smile. Your intelligence gets my mind going. Your personality is beautiful. Your honesty is something that's hard to find."

I smile, blush and giggle. "You're just saying it to make me feel good about myself."

"It's the truth. I like talking to you. You just get to me. You understand me."

"Nick, how old are you gonna be when your birthday comes?"

"Sixteen. Why?"
"I'm only gonna be thirteen in five days."

"We're just friends. Friendship has no age limits."

"Oh. I guess I was reading too deep into it." I feel like an ass. Wow. Downfall about me being scared to be involved with a guy.

"Me, too. I'm just glad we understand each other. Maybe we'll just click when we meet and be close."

"Maybe we can be close friends."

"Listen, let's just talk and worry about right now."

"Ok. Well, right now, I'm hanging at Universal Park with my mom."

"What rides have you been on already?"

We start talking about the rides and food. He suggests that he take me to SeaWorld when he gets back. I laugh and agree to it. He starts talking about the dolphins and other animals they have there. He insists on me getting in a tank with dolphins. "No way! I am not getting in a tank with dolphins."

"I'll be in the tank with you. They're trained and very gentle."
"No way, Nick."

"Come on. They have the trainers right there in the tank with us."

"No. What if the dolphins freak out?"

"They won't if you stay calm. I've done it before."

"Are you sure that it's perfectly safe?"
"Yes, they have trainers and they make sure you know what to do. Dolphins are gentle animals."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Just read up on them. Talk to a dolphin trainer."

"Why?"
"Get some information and you'll learn that you have nothing to be afraid of."

"Alright. I'll stop by my school's library tomorrow and read up on em."
"Good. You'll see you're scared of something that you have no reason to." We talk for about another ten minutes. "I think I oughta let you go. Gotta get on stage. Can I call you in a couple hours?"

"Sure."

"Alright. Talk to you later, Jazz."

"Later, Nick." I hang up, smiling more than I have since hearing we were moving to Orlando. For the past two days, I've actually been happy we did move here. Since starting to talk to Nick, I've realized that I have been given a new start with new friends. I call Sherri and she three ways Dawn in. "Sher, Lil D. You girls'll never believe the past few days I've had."

Sherri's got something on her mind. I can tell by the way she says, "Spill it."

Dawn's excited. "What happened?"

I tell them what's happened and Dawn giggles about my first kiss. Sherri gasps. "We said we'd have our first kiss with guys that are like brothers on a double date!"
"It just happened. I swear."

"Anyway, any other big thing happen?" I continue to tell them about everything and tell them about Nick. "Why haven't you called before today?"

I knew something was bothering her. I've known her for close to 13 1/2 years, I know Sherri. "I'll be honest, it's been a busy week and I haven't even called gramma."

"Oh, well, you better call her next. You know she's gonna give you a lecture for not calling sooner."

"I know. I'mma let ya go to call her."

"Call me more. Well, us, cuz I'm always patchin in Dawn."

"Hey."

"I gotta bounce, girlies. Gramma's lecture time." We laugh and hang up. "Here goes nothing."

I call my gramma and it rings three times. "Hello?"

"Hi, gramma."
"Samantha Marilyn Charpentier."

I wince at the use of my full name. "I'm sorry, gramma. I got caught up making friends and getting settled in."

"Start making time to pick up the phone and call me. Just a couple times a week. It's all I ask."

"I can do that. I miss you."

"I miss you too. Baby girl, how are you doing?"

"I'm doing good. I made like ten new friends."

"Good. What about school?"
"I start going to my new school tomorrow."

"Good. I have to go to the store. Talk to you in a few days. I love you."
"Love you too, gramma." We hang up and I realize it's three in the afternoon. I walk up to my mom and hug her. "I'm sorry for being on the phone. I called gramma, Sherri, Dawn all after Leslie and Nick called me. I'm so sorry."

 "Jazz. Relax, you have friends and family you needed to call."

"You understand?"

"You're almost a teenager." We laugh. "What do you say we go on a few more rides and head home?"

"Alright." Ma always understood what my friends mean to me. We stay at Universal for the next two hours and head home for dinner. "Today was fun and I'm not gonna forget it."

"You're welcome, Jazz."

"What's for dinner?"

"You pick. I set up with Jane and Bob for you to visit them next weekend."

"Thanks, Ma. Can I invite Tyler and Heather over?"

"Yes. What do you want? Pizza or Chinese?"

"Hmmmmnnnnn. Both?"

"Alright. Only this once."

I smile. "Thanks, Ma." I call Heather and Tyler. Roy and Karen tell them to make sure to be home for 9. We pull into the driveway as Heather and Tyler are two houses down. I get out and they run up. I tell them about my day as we head inside and decide on which pizza and chinese dishes to get. My mom orders the food and I pull out my old ghetto (ok, they ain't that old or ghetto) Sega Genesis and N64. "Sonic or Mario?"

"Mario." Tyler hooks up the N64, 3 controllers, and puts the Mario Kart game in.

Heather looks at me. "I'll pass, he cheats."

I smile. "I'll still beat him." My mom laughs. Tyler and I start playing Mario Kart and I'm righteously kicking his ass. My cell starts ringing and I answer it. "Hey, talk to me."

Nick laughs. "Hey, beautiful."

I giggle. "Unh! How's the fall feel? Off ya high horse yet? You haven't even seen a picture of me, ughh, so how do you know I'm beautiful? Tyler, stop cheating or I'mma just kick your butt worse than I already am."

"What're ya doin?"

"Playing Nintendo 64, the, unh, Mario Kart game."

"You really get into it, huh?"

"Yeah, but see cuz I'm a, whoo! Uh-huh, yeah!, girl, I'm skilled. I can play it, talk on the phone with you, and eat, while kicking Tyler's butt."

Nick laughs. "Go, Jazz, go. Just wondering, but who's Tyler?"

"You remember how I told you about my friend, Josh, and his friends touring in Europe?"

"Yeah."

"His little brother."

"Oh. You're single, though, right?"

"Yeah. I'm single."

He lets out the breath he was holding, sighing his relief. "Cool."

"What's up with the sigh of relief?" I hear the doorbell and smell the food. "FOOD!"

Nigh busts out laughing. "I wanted to know. You really like food."

"I LOVE food. Pizza and Chinese, mmmmmm."

"Have a piece of pizza for me."
"Sure. Cheese or pepperoni?"

"Doesn't matter."

I grab a piece of each and my plate of Chinese, settling in to play the game with Tyler again. "How was your show?"

"It was good. Johnny wants us to meet this group, *NSYNC."

"That's cool. If they do the same thing as you, you can give em tips."

"Yeah, but I don't know."

"Give em a chance, get to know em. For all anybody knows, they could be a friend of a friend of yours. Know what I mean?"

"Yeah, that's true."

"When are you supposed to meet em?"

"In two weeks."

"You guys just found out?"

"Yeah, alot of things are last minute. It's just how things are."

"Oh." I take a big bite of the pepperoni pizza. "Mmmmm, it's so good."

"You're mean."

"I'm sorry. I love pizza and chinese. Mmmmmm, Saturday, from ten in the morning till two in the afternoon."

"What about it?"

"I'm in a baby-sitting course."

"So you make your own money?"

"Yeah, on top of my allowance. I save half of my allowance for college and to get my own car when I'm 16. Get my permit and license. I still have close to 5 months' worth of it all saved. I spent four months' worth on a cell phone, a bbq, clothes, and spent some on souvenirs at Universal. I bought the food me and my mom ate there too."

"You're money wise."

"Yeap." My mom sits behind me and rubs between my shoulders to get my attn. "Sup, Ma?"

"It's quarter past 8. You going to walk them home?"

I pause the game and look at them. Heather shakes her head. "Heather's got it." I get up and hug Heather and Tyler. "See you guys later."

"Alright." They leave.

I forgot I was on the phone with Nick. "JAZZY!" That makes me remember.

"Sorry."

He chuckles. "Happens. When do you have to go to bed?"
"By 9:30."
"It's quarter past two in the morning."

"Where you are, yes. I'm in Orlando, where it's only going on 8:30."

"Oh." He laughs. "Guess we're in different time zones."

"Well, I'm pretty sure we are."

We laugh before talking about school, video games and music. He brings up the dolphin thing again. "You're gonna look up stuff on dolphins, right?"

"Tomorrow. I can do that after school. Look, sweetie, I gotta call my boy."

"Your 'boy'?"

"Yeah, my friend. I told Josh I'd buzz him back and talk. He's like a brother to me."

"Really?"

"Yeah, plus he's like ten years older than me. That is gross." So I exaggerated a bit. Sue me.

Nick laughs. "Talk tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Call me after 11 tomorrow night, your time. You're about six hours ahead of me."

"Won't you be eating by then?"

"It's either then or you call me around 1a again."

"My time, right?"

"Yes, your time."

"How about 2:30 my time?"

"That's 8:30 here in Orlando."
"Perfect. We can talk the hour before you have to go to bed."

"Why are you so set on staying up that late and being the last person that talks to me every night?"

"I wanna get to know you so that when we actually meet I can feel completely comfortable. Comfortable enough to hug you."

I giggle. "Makes sense. You wanna know what your little brother said when he took pictures of me yesterday?"

"What'd he say?"

"I can thank him when you and I are together."

"What?!?!"

"Yeah. Why would he say that?"

"That's, uh, that's Aaron for ya." He chuckles nervously.

"Talk to you tomorrow."

"Alright." He sighs. "Talk to you tomorrow, beautiful."

"Talk to you tomorrow. Night." We hang up and I call JC. It rings twice before he picks up. "I think I REALLY like Nick!" I tell him before he can yell at me for calling him at quarter till three in the morning where he's at.

"One-WHAT? Two, it's almost 3 in the morning."

"I think I really, really, really like Nick." I'm a little calmer and more composed.

"What do you mean by 'like'?"

"Like how I like James but 50 times more."

"Are you seeing him?"

"No, we haven't even met or spent any time face to face, getting to know each other, better than we are yet."

"When do they go back to Orlando?"

"February 18. He said something about meeting this group named, um, what did he say they called themselves?, NTINK-"

"*NSYNC?"

"Yeah, that's it."

"I've heard of them."

"Tell those guys I said hi and to be nice to Nick and his friends."

"If we meet them, I will make sure to tell *NSYNC to play nice with the Backstreet Boys."

"What?"

"I'll make sure to tell *NSYNC to be nice."

"Thanks. I think it's supposed to happen in two weeks."

"We have a meeting that day too. It's a casual one."

I can tell JC is biting his tongue, but decide to ignore it. I look at the clock and see it's almost 9:30. "Hey, I gotta get some sleep. Talk to you tomorrow. I'll try to call on the way home from school."
"Alright. Good night, Jazz."

"Night, Josh." I hang up and head to bed. I make sure to get my bag ready for school and plug my cell phone in before I get into my pjs, set my alarm and get into bed.

Ok, I know most of my friends and family are still in the States, but who in the FUCK who call me at this ungodly hour? I reach for my cell phone and pick it up, not expecting to get some surprising news. Before I can even say a word, I hear, "I think I REALLY  like Nick!"

"One-WHAT?!?!?!?! Two, it's almost 3 in the morning." I sit up in my bed slowly, gradually waking up. I won't be able to fall back asleep easily after this phone call. If I could just figure out why this voice is familiar.

"I really, really, really like Nick." The voice is calmer, slightly more composed. The voice... Jazzy.

"What do you mean by 'like'?"

"Like how I like James, but 50 times more."

"Are you seeing him?" I swear she didn't plan on dating till high school. Then again she told Chris six months from now. The female population can be completely confusing.

"No, we haven't even met or spent any time face to face, getting to know each other, better than we are yet." I try not to focus on her grammar mistakes.

"When do they go back to Orlando?" I move to the lounge room at the back of our tour bus.

"February 18. He said something about meeting this group named, um, what did he say they called themselves?, NTINK-"

She has a horrible memory unless it comes to phone numbers and addresses. "*NSYNC?" I'm aware about this meeting and know about it.

"Yeah, that's it." Should I tell her that it's me and the guys? No, not yet.

"I've heard of them."

"Tell those guys I said hi and to be nice to Nick and his friends." Talk about shock value. Then again, we didn't tell her. We didn't think it mattered. She knows we're in a band and that we're touring Europe. The bare essentials about the situation.

I bite my tongue. "If we meet them, I will make sure to tell *NSYNC to play nice with the Backstreet Boys." I quickly say before catching what I said. We haven't told her that Nick is a Backstreet Boy. She hasn't been told alot. She's also in the US, not Europe, she doesn't know yet.

"What?"

"I'll make sure to tell *NSYNC to be nice."

"Thanks. I think it's supposed to happen in two weeks."

She might catch on if one of the others tell her about that. I have to make sure the other guys don't tell her we ARE *NSYNC. Time to tell her a half truth. "We have a meeting that day too. It's a casual one." Can she tell I'm holding information back?

"Hey, I gotta get some sleep. Talk to you tomorrow. I'll try to call on the way home from school."

"Alright. Good night, Jazz."

"Night, Josh."

We hang up and I start to pace in the back of the bus, cell phone in hand. "FUCK! Alright, I can't tell Lance about her feelings for Nick. I have to tell them not to say a word about us having to meet the Backstreet Boys. They're not dumb and neither is she." I sit on one of the couches, thinking. I get up to grab a notebook and pen from my bag before going back into the lounge. "It's just a matter of time before she really sits down and pieces it together." I start writing down what I should and shouldn't tell who. I finish writing down what I should tell the guys and Jazzy before I drift back to sleep.

"Jace. JC. JC!" I snap awake and sit upright. I look at who was screaming in my ear.

"What, Lance?"

"I was wondering what this was about?" He holds up the notebook and the list of what to talk about with the guys facing me.

"Oh, we need to have a meeting to decide on what to tell Jazz about our meeting with the Backstreet Boys."

"Why?"
"Nick told her about the meeting with us in two weeks. We didn't tell her what we call ourselves. She doesn't know Nick is part of the Backstreet Boys. She knows about the meeting." She also likes Nick more than she does you, but I can't tell you that. It would destroy you. We need you to focus.

"Oh. We just tell her it was a meeting with management or tell her the truth. We know that when we get back to the States, our cover will be blown anyway."

"Should we tell her before or after?"

"Depends on who tells her."

"Who's the best one of us to tell her?"

"She jokes with Chris, so she'd never think he's serious. Joey already said he's not saying anything about it first. Justin, he gets nervous talking to her on the phone. Doesn't make sense because he can talk to her in person perfectly fine. That leaves us. She takes you seriously."

"She listens to you more."

"She takes what you say to heart."

"She's more understanding when you tell her things like this."

"She looks up to you."
"She likes you." Just not as much as she likes Nick.

"She respects you."

"She tells you more."

"She trusts you."

"She kissed you."
"You're like her family."

"So aren't Joey, Chris and Justin."

"Every time I try to call her, I get scared and nervous."

"You're better at slightly altering the truth."

"How do you suggest I do that?"

"Tell her that the name we use, we just picked it."

"No way. I can't do that to her. I can't lie to her."

"It's not lying, per se. Lance, just tell her."

"Why can't you?"

"I-I-Just tell her, Lance."

"No way."

Justin walks in, stretching. He looks at us, staring at each other from across the tour bus lounge. He turns to leave the lounge, looking confused, and shrugs before leaving. He's probably getting his daily fix of Cap'n Crunch before he says anything, like every morning. We all know NOT to utter a word to him before he has his fucking cereal. "Come on. We always deadlock when it comes to telling her something like this. I don't want to her to feel betrayed but I also don't want her to take advantage of us. I want to tell her but I don't want her to feel like she doesn't matter once we become known."

"It's exactly why we need to tell her-she's gonna feel like we don't trust her. We know that's not why, but that's how she's gonna feel if we don't." Lance drags his hand down his face, clearly becoming frustrated. He leans forward, putting his elbows on his legs above his knees, and his head in his hands. "Double edge swords suck."

"You know how she thinks."

"You can read her emotions."

"You can tell what she's feeling by the way she talks. I can only tell when she's right in front of me."

"You have more patience."

"When it comes to the other three guys, usually. I'm not sure if I have the same patience with a teen girl."

"I'm sure you do."

"She's emotionally attached to you. She's been emotionally open to you the most since you two kissed."

"She tells you all her fears."

"She tells you what she really feels,emotionally,than she tells any of us."

"She confides in you about more than she does any of us."

I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose, leaning forward and put my elbows on my thighs. "Fuck! We need to stop deadlocking. Someone's got to tell her."

Justin comes back to the lounge again. "Deadlocking about what and tell who what?"

I look at him, annoyed. "Nick told Jazz about our meeting with the Backstreet Boys in two weeks. We have to tell her WE ARE *NSYNC." I go into detail about what Lance and  I have just finished talking about concerning the matter at hand.

Justin smiles. "That's easy-I'll tell her."

"You get nervous trying to talk to her on the phone."

"Oh, yeah." He admits it, sheepishly. We hear the door to the lounge open and look at Andi. We watch her sit in the corner of the bench-type couch between Justin and Lance.She looks at us. "What's up?"

Justin plays on this invitation. "You'd say you love us, right?"

"Most days, yeah."

"You'd be willing to do us a favor, a HUGE favor?"

"Depending on what the favor is, I might."

"Telling Jazz something before somebody else does."

"Your shoes sizes?" She quips back at Justin.

"No, the name of our group."

Andi's jaw drops and her eyes bug out. "NO FUCKING WAY! You're on your own! That's your problem! I'm barely beginning to earn her trust and I'm not going to betray her trust. No way, not happening, uh-huh!"

Time for Lance to play his card. "You'd be betraying her if you didn't tell her."

"No, YOU GUYS would. I can say I didn't know until she did. Not MY problem." She pointed out as she stabbed at the air in our directions. All five of us could have told told her before leaving Orlando and had plenty of opportunities. I hate when Andi's right.

Now is when I step in and ask her what's on my mind. "If you won't tell her for us, then maybe you'll help us break the deadlock over who should tell her and how." I keep my eyes focused on her face.

"Let me think about that." She gets up and heads for the front of the bus.

After the three of us watch her leave the lounge, I look at Justin and Lance. "Did she just say to let her think and leave us out to dry?"

Lance is as shocked as I am. "I, uh, yeah, I'm pretty sure she just did."

Justin just mutters 'fucking bitch' and folds his arms over his chest. "She always does this. Now she's gonna take her sweet time figuring it out."

I look back at the door and hope for Lynn to come back here. I need a mom's advice, more like a mom who KNOWS Jazz better than all six of us combined. I look at the clock on my cell phone, then my watch. My cell phone had the time for Germany and my watch had the time for Orlando. My watch says it's 5:30 and my cell reads that it's 11:30. Six hour difference. Lance's cell rings. "Do I tell her now?"

I look at him. "Is that her?"

"Yeah."

"No, not yet."
He answers it. "Hey, Jazz Bear." I hear that pet name he has for her and try not to laugh. He glares at me. "Oh, not too much. Just talking about our second show. Yeah, I feel like that sometimes. I understand. I get my diploma next spring. If I can finish school and do what I do for a living, I'm sure you can handle whatever comes your way. Our meeting? Oh, it's just with management and some other people that they work with. Uh, JC's sleeping still. That was Justin that was about to laugh. Sure, you can talk to Justin. Of course." He covers the mouth piece and looks at Justin. He talks through clenched teeth. "She wants to talk to you. Tell her nothing, Timberlake, or I tell Lynn what you told me before leaving Orlando."

Justin's face goes from trying not to laugh to very pissed off. "You wouldn't dare."

"Tempt me and you'll find out." Justin takes Lance's cell phone and plays along, putting on a false happiness in his face. "Hey, Jazz. I was laughing at his nickname for you. Just management and some other members from the label. Just dinner. Nothing major. It's about two, two and a half weeks away. Yeah close to my and Joey's birthdays. Probably just to celebrate our birthdays. Hahaha, most likely. Of course you can, Jazz Muffin." Lance's turn to try not to laugh and Justin flips him off, mouthing 'fuck you'. I'm paying attention to what he's telling her. "Sure, you know it. Miss you too. Alright, talk to you then. Yeah, I'll stay up. Anything you might wanna talk about, something that's on your mind? That's it? You can tell me. Yeah, I promise. Ok, talk to you then. Bye." He hangs up. "You're an a-" Lynn walks in, looking at Justin with warning eyes. "Apple." Is that the best he could think of?

Lance quickly jumps up, grabbing his cell phone from Justin and leads Lynn out of the lounge. He's probably going to get her opinion on the situation. Justin turns the TV on and puts it on MTV. Our video for 'I Want You Back' made it to number 2 yesterday. It's the video that we're at a space station. We go to film our video for the European release of 'Tearin Up My Heart' in almost three weeks. It's release date is a month after Jazz's birthday. Shit. We need to tell her before we release the first single in the States. I'm sure she watches MTV and VH1. She'll probably watch the video and recognize us. She knows what we look like. We have until November, unless she finds out before that. It's already eating away at me because we didn't tell her. "Justin, do you think we should have told her to begin with?"

"I wanted to, but something told me not to. I had the feeling that you'd tear me a new one. I don't feel like pissing you off all the time, just sometimes."

I roll my eyes as I realize that Chris has been sitting across the lounge from me. "How long have you been sitting there?"

"Since about a couple minutes ago, near the end of our video. Told who what to begin with?"

"Jazzy about us being *NSYNC."

"I thought about it. Doesn't she realize that Nick is in the Backstreet Boys?"

"No. I can't even get the nerve up to tell her that, nevermind telling her we're *NSYNC."

Chris sits back. "Nick will probably tell her in the next month or two or she's gonna figure him and us out."

"We're aware of this. When do they put their first single out in the States?"
"I don't know. That's Lance's department and why we call him 'Scoop', remember?"

I get up and look for Lance, finding him at what we call a table. He's thinking about something. "Lance, I have a question."
He snaps his head toward my voice and back into reality. "What's that?"

"When do the Backstreet Boys release their first single in the States?"

"June 10. It could be released as early as May."

"When do we release 'I Want You Back' in the States with the new video?"

"November 8. Why does it matter?"

"Unless MTV, back in the States, starts putting pictures of us up and talking about us, Jazz is going to recognize us. Of course she's going to recognize Nick first. Who's to say that she won't pick up a magazine with an article and picture of us in it? Or Nick and the other Backstreet Boys? She's intelligent and I want to tell her before she finds out any other way. She needs to know who we are, straight from us."

"JC, just stop. She's probably going to ask as soon as she catches wind. Maybe we should see if her mom would let her come on tour with us during February vacation?"

"When is that?"

"I think she said it was from the seventh till the 16th. I can text her and double check."

"Please?"

I see Lance pull out his cell phone and quickly text Jazz. "Yeah, it's the 8th till the 16th. We can fly her out to us from Orlando to where we are. I think we're in Sweden then." He flips through the notebook beside him. "Yeah, Stockholm. Then we go from there to Ireland, the UK, Spain, and Berlin."

"In 8 days?"

"Yes, in 8 days. Nine, sorry. We leave Stockholm the day she'd be flying out to us. She'd be meeting us in Dublin."

"She's Irish! We'll tell her we have a special brithday present, but it's going to be late."

"That I can do, but after we deal with her mom and getting her a passport."

"I can have my mom help hers out with the passport while Lynn and I talk to her mom about letting her come alone to Dublin."

"Sounds like a plan. Now to hope her mom goes along with it."

"Can you call Johnny and clear it with him and ask him to tell Nick to shut his trap about us? Including the meeting."

He picks up his cell phone and calls someone. "Johnny, I know. Look, it's important. Yes, it concerns the Backstreet Boys. No, just one of them. Nick Carter. One thing does concern us and directly connects him to us. He's talking to this girl we've become close to, almost family. Jazzy. Yeah, that's the one. She did stay with us in Orlando for the last five days we were there. Yeah, we forgot to mention that about us to her. He shouldn't be talking about the meeting with her. We were thinking you could help bring her to us in Dublin. Fly her out February 7th, at night and she'll meet us in Dublin, VIP treatment. Yes, she'll stay with us until the 14th or 15th. Up to her mom. Yes, her mom is Vikki. Ok, thank you. I will call you back later with her mom's decision. Thanks." He hangs up and he smiles. "Johnny said to get her mom's consent and to have one of us fly there, preferably you, have her sign a consent form for her to come. We have to surprise her. We have to play along with her mom's demands. It's a two way deal. I'm going to talk to Lynn about this. Johnny's going to get it done with Vikki and bring it to us, for us and Lynn to sign it."

I nod, praying our plan goes off without a hitch. I look at my cell phone. It's going on two in the afternoon here. That means it's going on 8 in the morning in Orlando. Her mom went in at seven. Tyler and Jazz do go to the same school, I found that out from Vikki. I start to bite my thumb nail, an old nervous habit, just not biting it off. I have her mom's work number and I know her mom said to call if anything came up. This was important, but not enough to call her at work. I pick up my cell phone and scroll through my contacts, down to my parents' house number. I take a deep breath and push 'send'. It rings once, twice, three, four-

"Hello?"

"Mom."

"What's wrong?"

"Just wanted to ask for your help."

"With what, sweetie?"

"Something for Jazzy."

"Anything for her."

"Thanks, mom. Would you be willing to help Vikki get a passport for Jazzy?"

"Why?"

"So we can let her know who we are on stage and in magazines. We haven't told her yet. VIP treatment and everything."

"Did you clear it with Johnny?"

"He said as long as Vikki signs an agreement saying she can come and the stipulations."

"What dates would she be flying?"

"The night of February 7th to Dublin, stay with us on tour until the 14th or 15th. Her mom will choose the date she has to be back. Most likely the 14th because she's going to have some serious jetlag."

"I will talk to her mom tonight. Do you need to come to sign the stipulation?"

"Only I do. The rest of the guys will most likely be on conference call during it. I will be having them sign it before I head to the States to sign it."

"Johnny will be meeting with her mom before this goes into motion?"

"I think so. He's going to need one of our parents there and Lynn will probably be on the phone while it's being worked out."

"Alright. I'll talk to her tonight. I'll have your brother keep Jazzy company here and I'll talk to her mom."

"Thanks, mom. You're the best. Jazzy can't know anything because it's a late birthday present."

"Ok. Anything else, sweetie?"

"I love and miss everyone."

"We love and miss you, the boys and Andi very much too."

Lance and I relax, watching the other three jump around in excitement about our show tonight. "Can someone put Tupac's 'I Get Around' on? I'm feeling like having a little vocal practice and fun." We end up singing, dancing and goofing off for the rest of the ride, even through dinner. We sing all types of music and just relax. I know Jazz is going to love her birthday present. We pull up to the arena, get in a quick rehearsal on the stage and get ready to perform. I know Jazz gets home around 3:15, unless she stays after to get some books or something. She should call by ten my time zone, which is four Orlando time.

~~~

We did great tonight and I haven't told Justin, Chris or Joey. I know Chris and Justin would let it slip. I know I'm about ready to fall asleep but I know Jazzy's gonna call to update me. She's like a little sister to me and I want to make sure she's ok. Heather is 18 and no matter what I say, she's going to be her own person. Tyler is a good kid, too, but I know he's trying to look out for Jazz's safety. It's almost 10:15 and she still hasn't called. I start to doze off when my cell phone rings. I look at it and it's Jazz. "Hey, kid."

"Kid?"

"You're younger than me."

"Yeah, and?"

"How's your day going, Jazz Bean?"

"Good. Wait, what did you just call me?"

"Jazz Bean."

"You just came up with it."

"Yes, I did."

"I like it. Ma told me I have plans from February 7th till the 16th. She's letting me take the following week off. She says I'll be spending it with you guys."

"I hope she didn't ruin it."
"No, she wouldn't tell me anything more."

"You ever wanted to travel?"

"Yeah, who doesn't?"

"Well, you'll get to do a little of that."

"Really? Where to?"

"I don't know, Lance planned it with Johnny and Lynn. I told you all I know."

"Bummer. Not even a clue?"

"Green grass."

"That's all he gave as a clue?"

"Yeah, that's it. I can't figure it out either." A smile creeps across my face. I can just imagine her face when she reads the tickets.

"Are you playin?"
"Nope. Lance said it'd mean alot to you."
"Whatever. Josh?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks for being there."

"It's part of looking out for my friends and family."

"I so suck at math."

"Read me the problem." I grab a notebook and a pencil. I help her with her homework. She wasn't kidding when she said she wasn't good at math. PEMDAS helps in algebra, but she's only in her first year of it. Next year, she'll be ready. She tells me about her first day and that she's learning about dolphins on her own time. Somehow she's going to make sure to take care of the baby-sitting course she's going to miss being out here with us. Or will she be done by then? "Jazz, when do you wrap up your baby-sitting courses?"

"February 16. I have the option of staying after school to make them up. That professor is there at the high school next door until almost 6, every school night."

"Oh? That's cool."
"Yeah, she's pretty laid back about it. It's 8 hours total. I can try to get ahead by the time February vacation comes around."
"Bring your work with you. We can help you."

"Who's good at what?"

We talk about school work, who's good at what subjects and her baby-sitting course. "How long will it take to make up the 8 hours you're going to miss while you're out here?"

"If I stay after school an hour four days a week, about two school weeks."

"Wow. How long will it take if you did that for the whole course? To get your hours in for your certification?"

"Um, an hour, five days a week, it would take me four weeks."

"Four days a week, an hour for each?"

"Five weeks."

"Four weeks, would be what date?"

"February 1st."

"Five weeks?"

"February 8th."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I'm actually starting that after school tomorrow. I set it up already. I'd rather stay after school than use up a Saturday."

I laugh. "True. So, what date will you be done?"

"Lemme check." I hear her flipping through a notebook or calender. "February 7th. Perfection." She laughs. "Irony."

"Yes, it's ironic."

"What time is it out there?"

"Almost 2 in the morning."

"Dammit. I have to go home and eat. Tyler, can you walk me home? Thanks."

"What time is it there, Jazz?"

"Going on 8. I have yet to eat cuz I wanted to finish my homework and I just now finished."

"Ok, I'll let my brother get you home. Tell him to call and let me know he got back safe. Where are mom and dad?"

"They're with my mom. They should be back by the time 'Ler and I get to my house. I'll call or text you so you know I got home fine."

"Ok."

Jazz calls me back about half an hour later. "Hey. Your parents are right here." She's next to my parents' car. I hear the engine and Tyler getting in. 

"Let me talk to mom for a minute."

Mom takes her cell. "Josh?"

"Is the agreement set up?"

"Yes."

"Does Vikki have a copy?"

"Yes."

"Johnny has seven copies, right?"

"Yes."

"He's flying out by the 20th so we can look it over?"

"Yes."

"So, did you get her passport applicartion in?"

"Yes."

"Still a seven business day wait?"

"Of course."

"Did you get the tickets?"

"It's all set. She's flying out the 5th and will be there until the 17th. She lands the 6th, red fish meatballs." 

"Stockholm. I'll be flying out there the 29th, early morning and have to fly back the next day." 

"Ok. We'll see you the 29th. Bye, sweetie."

"Mom, one more question."
"Ok, ask."

"Is Jazz still confused?"
"Very."

"I love you, mom."
"I love you too."

Jazz gets her cell back, hugs my mom and dad before they leave, and asks one question. "What was that about?"

"You'll find out. Please put your mom on."

"Josh."
"Samantha."

I can imagine her cringing. "Don't call me by that name, Joshua."

"Put your mom on."

I hear her walking up her walkway, close her front door and tell Vikki that I want to talk to her. "Yes, Josh?"

"Yes or no answers so she doesn't know what we're talking about."

"Ok."
"Passport application done?"

"Yes."

"Seven business days."
"Yes."
"Flies out the 5th, lands the 6th in Stockholm."

"Yes."
"Flies from Paris the 17th back to Orlando."

"Yes."

"Do you have the tickets?"

"No."
"Are my parents holding them?"

"Yes."

"She's still confused?"
"Yes."

"Is my brother confused?"

"Yes."

"Alright. Thanks for letting her come to Europe, Vikki."

"You're welcome. I know why you're doing this. Your mom told me on the way to meet Johnny."

"I have to show Jazz who we are on stage and in the public eye. Just in case she sees or hears anything concerning the group."

"Name."
"*NSYNC."

"Ok. What's my part?"

"Try to keep her too busy to watch MTV, VH1 and any music or news related shows until after she gets back."

"Will do."

"Let me talk to Jazz, please."

I hear her tell Jazz to take the phone, heat up some left overs from the night before, and then head to bed. "You're not funny anymore."

"Not trying to be." I laugh.

"You seem to think you're funny."

"It's a birthday present and Lance took the phone when your mom and mine answered."
"Ok."

"Sleep tight."

"Night." She's going to love it. 

I managed to finish my certification in just under 3 weeks, get and maintain an A- average, keep in touch with everyone, remember 3 birthdays (Nick, Joey and Justin's), and it's the Sunday before I leave. I still have no clue where I'm going in a few days. Wait, how many days is it before I leave? I pull out my personal calender and check. TWO DAYS? The days just flew by. Ma handed me a passport, but forgot to tell me why I'm gonna need it. All I hear is that I'm going to love it and go to my first concert with Justin, Chris, JC, Joey, and Lance. All I have to do is make it through the next day and I fly or boat to where Lynn, Andi and the guys are. Ma has given me so many chores lately that I haven't had time to do anything but my homework and listen to my tapes on my Walkman. I'm exhausted, which means early bedtime for me. Please, God, make the next two days fly by like the past three and a half weeks.

~~~

It's Tuesday morning and yes, the past day and a half have flown by. Thank you, God! Karen has Ma and I sitting at the island counter in her kitchen. She has to give me the tickets so I can get to where the boys are. My flight leaves later today (Ma said I'm flying there last night) and Karen waited for Tyler and Heather to leave for school. I've been packed for this trip for the past day and a half. Yes, I'm excited. Karen hands me an envelope and I open it as fast as I can without destroying what may be inside it. "AHHHHHHHH!!!! I'm flying to Sweden?" I look at my return ticket and freak out even more. "I FLY BACK FROM PARIS?" I let out an ear-piercing squeal/shriek. "Thank you, Ma. Thanks, Karen. Thanks, Roy." I hug each one as I say thanks. I look at the times on the tickets, more so at the one I use today. I leave at 7 tonight and land in Stockholm around 1:07a, Orlando time. I do the math, having already figured out that it's six hours ahead of us. I figure I'll be in Stockholm around 7a. I'm calming down but I'm so happy. I can't wait. OMG! I look at my cell phone for the time (a habit I've form since getting it) to find out it's already 1p. Heather and Tyler are gonna be excited for me. I have the biggest, dopiest grin on my face and I don't care.

Ma snaps her figers in my face. I look at her and she hugs me. "Now, there are rules for this trip."

"Ok."
"You are to stay with Lynn, Josh, Joey, Chris or James at ALL times. You have to behave. You have to follow their schedule. You have to call me everyday, even if it's just a message on the machine saying you're fine. You fly back out here early the 17th from Paris. It'll still be the 16th here. You have to bring a trinket home from each country you visit. You have to make sure to do your school work as well. You have to have some fun while you're there and take tons of pictures."

"Ok, Ma."

"Go ahead and call them." She can see I keep looking at my cell phone, wanting to call josh and the guys.

I pick up the phone and quickly call JC. "Hello?" After three rings he answers.

"I'M MEETING YOU IN STOCKHOLM!"

"Ow. First off, calm down. Second, repeat that without screaming it."

"I'm meeting you in Stockholm. You have to be at the airport there around 7a."

"We know. The bus will be there. Lance and Lynn will be grabbing you and your luggage from there. The rest of us will most likely still be asleep."

"Wusses. Figures. I'm so excited. Wait, Lance said something about seeing my first few concerts with you guys and having VIP treatment. Who am I gonna see?"

"You're going to see, meet and hang out with *NSYNC."
"Are they cool guys? Or chicks?"

"They're cool guys."

"I guess that's cool."

"You're probably about ready to bounce off the walls with excitement."

"Oh, yeah. Are we following these guys around?"
"Something like that."

"This is gonna be soo cool." Karen looks at me like I need to chill out.

"You act like you're meeting celebrities."

"Not why I'm so excited. I'm more excited about spending time with you guys and seeing a few foreign countries."

He laughs. "What about seeing your first few concerts?"

"That too."
"Well, one of us will call you later to make sure you're alive. When does your plane leave?"

I look at the ticket and the microwave across the kitchen from me. "It leaves in 4 hours, 45minutes."

"We'll try to call before then."
"Ok. Thanks, guys."

"You're welcome. Talk to you later or when you get here. Sleep on the plane."

"Ok."
"Bye."

"Bye." I hang up with JC and call Nick.

It rings four times. "Hey, Jazz."

"I'm going to Stockholm."

"That's cool. When are you going?"

"I leave seven my time tonight. I get there around 7a. I'll be traveling with my friends."

"That's awesome. I wish I could meet you sooner."

"Well, I fly out of Paris early the 17th. Ticket says I leave Paris around 9a. If I'm right, I'll be landing in Orlando just before noon."

"That's funny because our flight stops in Paris to pick up more passengers around 8:45 in the morning that day and then lands in 'Lando just before noon."

"If you spot me, say something. If I spot you, I'll let you know."

"Alrighty then."

"I'm gonna let you go so I can make sure I have everything."

"It'd be so funny if our seats were next to each other."

"Yeah. Text me."

"Ok. Later."

"Later."

~~~

I've talked to Nick and JC, hung out with Tyler and Heather, and NOW I'm on my way to the airport for my flight to Stockholm. I know why Ma let me spend Tuesday night over the Carter Clan's. I love what she does just to make me happy. I couldn't stop hugging and thanking Ma. I'm scared of flying, planes and heights. The guys better realize how much they mean to me. I'm hugging my mom good-bye. I'm scared and nervous, but I know the guys are waiting for me in Stockholm. "I'll call you when I land, Ma. I love you."

"Ok, don't forget. I love you too. Remember to have fun and take alot of pictures."

"I will." She kisses me on the cheek and my flight is called over the intercom. "That's me." She nods and watches me board the plane, knowing my nerves are on end and I'm scared outta my mind. JC spent the past hour and a half reassuring me that I'm gonna be just fine and the plane won't crash, there's nothing bad that will happen, and I'm completely safe. Me being me, I'm still scared. I get on the plane and get settled into my seat, buckle and put my earphones on. Music will keep me sane. I take a deep breath, the flight attendents go through pre-flight thing, and I prepare to sleep the flight away. Thank God they made sure to get me an aisle seat. I'm so fucking scared, but the music helps.

I must have fallen asleep because I woke up when the plane landed on the strip. The flight staff tell me to wait a few minutes for the unbuckle sign to light up as they go through their routine. I have my litttle backpack and my gym bag to grab. I told them that the backpack was my purse and my gym bag was my carry on. I put my walkman and headphones in my travel bag (the backpack) and when I see the sign light up, I unbuckle, grab my gym bag and get off the plane as fast as I can. I turn on my cell phone and see that it's 7:21a. I text Lance saying I landed safely and I'm on the way to get my large duffle bag. It's a military duffle bag, the kind that clip at the top. It has my cousin's last name on it (Pretat) and he used a black sharpie to black out his ssn. He let me have it after he was discharged for medical reasons (making it honorable). I text Lance on the way to the conveyor belt that spits out passengers' luggage. 'On my way to get my duffle bag from luggage pickup.'

'Ok. On my way to get you.'

'Ok. You guys should realize how much I love and miss you.'

'Why?'

'I'm afraid of planes, heights and flying and I still flew out to see you.'

'Love you too. What are you wearing? It'll make finding you easier.'

I grab my duffle bag off the belt and put both of my bags on the ground, stretching my body. 

'Blue jeans, blue shoes, Dolphins jersey Marino, and green Eastern Boarder hat on backwards. I'm gonna tackle/hug you.'

'Really? I see you.'

I turn around, spot him, run to him, jump in his arms and hug him. He hugs me as he holds me in his arms. "I told you I'd do this."
"I missed you too, Jazz."

"Where are the other guys?"

"On the bus, asleep.'

"Figures, wusses. Can't even get up to see me get here."

"You can wake them up."

"So, what's on the agenda today?"

"We have to go straight to the studio to record tracks for US debut album, photo shoots and interviews from the time we start recording until rehearsal at the venue, and we perform."

"Thought *NSYNC were performing there?"

"They'll be there. We're performing tonight too. JC can explain it better than I can."

I grab my gym bag and Lance takes my duffle bag. We turn and walk as fast as we can to the bus. "Of course you'd say that. Where are they sleeping?"

"In the middle of the bus are bunks. Joey and Chris are on the top bunks. Justin and JC are on the bottom ones."

"Thanks." We get on the bus and I drop my bags on the couch behind the driver. I find the bunks and look at the four of them sleeping oh, so peacefully. I quietly wake up Chris and Joey, signaling Joey to tape what I'm gonna do to wake up Justin and JC. Chris sits with my bags in front of him, just in case something may go flying, from a spot where he can see what I'm doing to wake the other two. I blow in Justin's face, pinning his hands down, until he opens his eyes enough to see me.

His arms quickly fly outta my grasp, wrap around me, pull me on top of himself on his bunk and hugs me tightly."Jazzy! I missed you. I'm so happy to see you. Oh God. I'm glad you're here."

I smile, kiss his cheek and push on his shoulders so I can see his face. "Well, I missed you too, Bounce."

"You look good. Should I get up?"

"Yeah, please, and wait where you can see how I wake Josh up."

We both look at JC as Joey pans the camera to JC. Justin lets me get up, heads for his bowl of Cap'n Crunch and sits at the table. I climb on JC's bunk, sit up against the wall and quickly shove him off his bunk using my feet. THUD! "What the fuck, Justin?"

"Wasn't me. That person's still in your bunk."

JC looks at me from his seat on the  floor as I lay across his bunk. "Oh, hi."

"That's all I get for being scared to death for almost 7 hours?"

"I didn't meant it like that."
"Really? Careful how you word things."

He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. After a few seconds of silence, I look at Lance and as he shrugs, JC quickly grabs me and hugs me, causing me to fall off the bunk. He's hugging me. "You know I don't like being woken up like that. I missed you and love you."

"That whole thing was just a front?"
"Yes. I missed my baby sister." He lets me go and gets up, looking at Lance, who shrugs and nods. "I need to talk to you about something. Come to the lounge back here with me." He helps me get up and leads me to the lounge, leaving me wondering. He has me sit down on the couch and sighs.

"What's up?"

"I need to tell, no, show you something and I hope you understand why you didn't find out until now."

"What are you talking about?"

"You know how we've been talking about the group, *NSYNC and how you get to meet, hang with and watch their concert tonight?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Watch this." He turns on the TV, put it on MTV, changes it to another music station, didn't find what he was looking for and presses play on the VCR. A video plays, showing a 'space station', and he pause it as the frame focuses on him and the guys.

"It's a video of you and the guys. What does this have to do with *NSYNC."

"Look at the artist's name in the lower left hand corner."

I get up, walk over to the TV and read '*NSYNC'. "Wait, YOU guys are *NSYNC?"

"Yeah."

I walk back to a corner seat of the couch, sit down, pull my legs up so they're crossed and pull my jersey over them, thinking. I see JC start to bite his thumbnail outta the corner of my eye. "Quit biting your nail."

"Are you mad we didn't tell you before?"

"Not mad, more like curious as to why you didn't."

"We didn't know how to tell you or how you'd react or if you'd take advantage of us."

"Josh." I look him in the eye and motion for him to scoot closer. I touch the side of his face to get him to look at me. "You guys are my friends, practically family. I don't take advantage of people. You want to help me, then thanks and I appreciate it. You don't, then it's your call. All I ask is that you don't forget who me, your family and your real friends are."

"What if we want to take you along for the ride?"

"Sure. One condition."

"What would that be? I know we'd have to clear it with your mom."
"That you take me with you during the summer. I have to keep my grades up so Ma doesn't have to worry. I have two weeks worth of work to do."

He laughs. "I think we can manage that."

"Good. Just don't forget about the girl you guys helped adjust to Orlando."

"I won't. Just don't believe the media about most of what they put out there."
"Josh, I read them and think that it's cool and don't believe it."

"I would rather spend time with you guys and have fun, laughing all the while than worry about your money. I come with my own anyway." I make a goofy face, causing JC to laugh.

"So, you don't care if we become well known around the world?"
"If you do, you busted your asses to get there and deserve it. If not, you tried your best and it's not your fault. I'm here for you guys no matter what happens. I love you guys like the family and friends you are."

"I know and we love you too."

We hug. "Next time something like this happens, just tell me. What has happened so far?"

"We have successful singles out here and we're working on tracks for the US debut album, touring Europe, and we've established a good sized fan base out here. We bring it back home starting in November."

"Cool. What happens when you come back home?"

"We promote the single and the album, tour, promo, record, write, repeat everything."

"Fun."

"We've already started writing for our second album."

"Ok. Do you have an idea on when you're gonna be releasing it?"

"Not until 99 or 2000."

"I can deal with that."

"Any rehearsals today?"

"At the arena, on stage."

"Anything else you need to tell me?"

He stops to think, deciding on something. "Not about us. Just make sure to check out the recent performers that have been to this arena."

"Why?"

"You've seen recent pictures of Nick, right?"

"I was just at the Carter Clan's place a few days ago, so I have."
"You'll know why when you see it."

"Ok." I nod, not believing him.

"Keep up with the attitude."

"Pffffftttttt, whatever, Joshua."
He knocks me over and starts tickling my sides. "What was that?" I can't say anything because I'm laughing so hard. He straddles my hips, like he had done to Heather a month ago during the bbq. He's tickling me faster and digging his fingers in more, making me laugh harder. It's starting to hurt a little bit from how hard he's pressing into my sides. I start trying to block and pushing him away. I let out a high pitch giggle and continue laughing. "You're a little red in the face. Just say mercy and I'll stop." I took the time to learn how to sign the alphabet over the past 3 years from books, videos and friends. I sign mercy and he doesn't stop. I gotta teach the guy how to sign 'mercy'.

I try saying it. "M-hehehehehehehehehehehe-r-sahahahahahahahahahahahahaha-ay!!!"

"What? I didn't hear you." He stops for a split second.

Here's my chance. "Mercy, mercy, mercy! Mercy."

He gets up, lets me sit up and catch my breath. Lynn knocks on the door and opens it. "What's going on back here? I just heard her yell 'mercy' five times."

"I tickled her for the attitude she was giving me."

She crosses her arms over her chest, rolling her eyes. "We're pulling into the studio parking lot in a minute."

"Alright. Thanks, Lynn." JC helps me get up. "You feel ok?"

"Yeah. Got any sugar or candy?"

"Yeah, in Justin's bag. He has Sprees, Pixi Stix, and Runts."

"Where's his bag located?"
"Under his bunk."

I nod and walk to his bunk. I see Chris look at me and I motion for him to come help me. He comes over to me as I kneel down near Justin's bunk. "I need Pixi stix."

"Need sugar?"

"JC tickled me and no sugar equals a sleeping Jazz. We can't have that now, can we?"

"No, sleeping Jazz is bor-ring." He reaches under Justin's bunk, grabs the Pixi Stix and lets me grab some. I take about 20, maybe a few more. "You gonna eat em all right now?"

"Nope, this many" I hold out about half "now and the rest just before rehearsal." I smile and rip open the ones I said I was eating now as I stand up. I turn towards the lounge and walk in before I start to eat the sugar.

JC's eyes bug out of his head as he looks at the number of Pixi Stix I'm eating right in front of him. "How many of those is she eating?"

Chris watches me as he answers. "Ten at least."

"Stop her!"

I hand them to JC. "Too late." I smile as he counts them.

"You just had 15 of em!"

I shrug. "I'll be fine." I make a face at him.

He covers and drags his hands down his face before looking at Chris. "How many more does she have?"

"About the same amount in her pocket."

"Take them from her or we're gonna deal with a hyper 13 year old."

"Jazz, give me the other ones."
"No, those are for rehearsal."

JC gets up and looks me in the face. "Surrender the Pixi Stix. I'll tell Justin."

"Pfffffttttttt! He won't do anything."

"Pixi Stix."

"No."

"JUSTIN!"

I hear Justin coming to the lounge. "What's up?"

"Jazz took about 30 of your Pixi Stix and just ate half of them."

"Sweet! We get to see her hyped up on sugar!"

"Not cool."

Lynn walks up behind Justin. "We're here."

I smile. Chris and Justin run for the door. I jump on JC's back and he chuckles. "Can I get a piggy back ride?"

"Stand on the couch and I'll let you." I do as he says, he stands in front of me, I climb on his back, loosely wrap my arms around his neck and he grabs the back of my knees. "All set?"

"Yes." He starts running for the door, jumps down the stairs and I'm laughing the whole to the studio reserved for them. Laughing like crazy. JC lets me go and I get down.

Andi walks in, shaking her head. "What was that about?"

"Just wanted her to have fun."

Chris looks at me. "You know we can sing. Can you sing?"

I wrinkle my nose and shaking my head. "Not that good."

Chris starts to chant 'sing', which causes everyone else to join in. JC stops and smiles, handing me my travel bag. He stops chanting and whispers in my ear. "Just one song."

"Fine." I look at him, slightly annoyed and lookin my bag for a mix tape. I find my Mariah/Toni/TLC mix tape. "Is there a tape player in here?"

Lance points near the soundboards. "Yeah, right there."
"Any of you guys know how to use it and NOT break it?"

JC gets up. "I do."

I hand him the tape and he goes to put it on. "Should start with Mariah Carey's 'Looking In'." He looks at me like I'm weird. "It's what I was listening to when I fell asleep on the plane. I have memoriezed every song and the order they're in on my tapes." JC nods and presses play. I close my eyes and let my head bob with the music, knowing he's still near the soundboard. I start to sing along with the song, sitting against the side of the studio couch.

"You look at me and see the girl
Who lives inside the golden world

JC lowers the volume, a little at a time, for the vocals but leaves the music up. I ignore it.

But don't believe
That's all there is to see
You'll never know the real me

She smiles through a thousand tears
And harbors adolescent fears
She dreams of all
That she can never be
She wades in insecurity
And hides herself inside of me

Don't say she takes it all for granted
I'm well aware of all I have
Don't think that I am disenchanted
Please understand

It seems as though I've always been
Somebody outside looking in
Well here I am for all of them to bleed
But they can't take my heart from me
And they can't bring me to my knees
They'll never know the real me"

I hear a couple people start to clap and I keep singing as TLC's 'Diggin On You' plays. JC turns the vocals up so I start to sing along, just to slowly turn the vocals down again. "Quiet."

"I was like peace in a groove
On a sunday afternoon
You were there so was i
In the park 4th of july
I was chillin’ with my kool aid
When miss chilli came to relay
That you had a thang for me
Finest thang you’d ever seen
I must admit to you
I’ve heard those lines a time or two
Although for some apparent reason
Monkey lines are now in season
Lights off lights on
I guess the groove is on so I am

Diggin’ the scene
Diggin’ on you
Diggin’ on me
Baby baby ooo baby baby
It’s on like that
It’s on like that
I gotta be in love or somethin’ like that

I gotta be in love or somethin’ like that
I gotta be in love or somethin’ like that



I was like deep in a cool
What’nt gone be nobody’s fool
Could not care less who was there
Could’ve been like anywhere
I was chillin’ with my kool aid
Did not want to par-ti-ci-pate
In no silly conversations
Had no time for new relation ships
I must admit to you
When I heard the lines you threw
Although it usually turns me off
But this time you have turned me on
Lights off lights on
I guess the groove is on and I am

Diggin’ the scene
Diggin’ on you
Diggin’ on me
Baby baby ooo baby baby
It’s on like that
It’s on like that
I gotta be in love or somethin’ like that


Oh why do I feel the way I do
When all I can think about is you
What was it in a line
That made me fall for you
Do you know
Why I’m diggin’ diggin’ diggin’ diggin’ on you

Diggin’ the scene
Diggin’ on you
Diggin’ on me
Baby baby ooo baby baby
It’s on like that
It’s on like that
I gotta be in love or somethin’ like that

Diggin’ on you
It’s on like that
Diggin’ diggin’ diggin’ diggin’ on you

Diggin’ the scene
Diggin’ on you
Diggin’ on me
Baby baby ooo baby baby
It’s on like that
It’s on like that
I gotta be in love or somethin’ like that
I gotta be in love or somethin’ like that
I gotta be in love or somethin’ like that"

The song ends and I hear JC pull the tape out of the player. I open my eyes and see Johnny squatting in front of me. "Can you sing for me?"

"No."
"Just one more song."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

JC puts his empty hand where he knows I'll see it outta the corner of my eye, helps me up and lets me hug him, hiding my face against his chest. He knows I get nervous and Johnny just scared the fucking shit outta me. "She's just now letting us hear her sing."

"She's not used to letting people hear her sing?"

"No, we've known her about a month and today might be the last time for a long  while we're going to hear her sing."

"Oh, sorry to hear that."

I feel JC shake his head before resting his chin on the top of my head. I look up at him. "You ok?" I nod. "You feel like talking right now?" I shake my head. "Later on?" I put my head against his chest and listen to his heartbeat, just to calm my nerves. "She's a little jumpy right now and I don't blame her."

"Why would she be jumpy?"

"It's her first time in Stockholm, in a studio, this far from home, and we're the only 7 people she really knows out here. Her mom made it clear that I'm the main person to watch out for her here, other than Lynn." I wrap my arms around him a little tighter. "She also doesn't know you like we do. We've been working with you for close to 2 years, she's known you for about 2 weeks."

"Ok, I understand. Max and Denniz will be here soon, within the next ten minutes."

"Thanks, Johnny." I hear him leave the room, closing the door and JC rubs my back. I look up at him and take a step back as he pulls my arms off him, looking at me. "Why did you react like that?"

"Natural instinct. You pretty much explained why."

He scratches the back of his neck. "I know your facial expression and body language, but that that's beside the point."

"I don't know. I just feel like you'll defend me like a brother would protect his little sister."

"Sam, look at me." I look in his eyes. "You are like a little sister to me. You also need to learn to hide that fear. The media feeds off it and can spin it, which means we need to work on it. There's also something I'm missing when it comes down to why Johnny scared you that bad. I know you were scared of my dad, but you didn't hide. Why Johnny?"

"His voice reminds me of biological dad."

"What about him?" I whisper in his ear. He pulls back and looks in my eyes, concern and worry in his eyes. "He did that to your mom?"

"Yeah."

"That fucker." JC's jaw clenches and I see the anger starting to show.

"Josh, he left almost 9 years ago and we moved more than once. We have no contact with him. He has no clue where we are."

"Did he ever do that to you?"

"A few times, but I screamed and the neighbors came to my aid. They would take me back to their apartments."

He shakes his head. "What sick fucker would do that to not only his wife, but his daughter?"

"Derreck."

I hear Lance get up. "Who's Derreck?" He touches my back, between my shoulder blades, causing shivers.

I turn around. "My biological dad. I know what he looks like, I know what he sounds like, I know about him, I remember him. We have no contact with him for my safety. I can't go through what he put us through again, including all the pain." I start to get pissed off and Lance pulls me into a hug.

He rubs my back. "That's fine. We're always here and nothing will stop us from rushing to help you if you truly need us." He holds me close for a few minutes before having me look at him. "Understand?"

"Yeah."

"Ok."

Two guys walk in and sit at the soundboards. I sit on the couch. One has blonde shoulder length hair, dark colored eyes and a fair build, maybe about 5'10" and around 165 lbs. The other guy had short, spikey blonde hair, hazel colored eyes, fair build, about the same height and a little heavier. The guys walk up to them and do the handshake/hug greeting, calling them 'Max' and 'Denniz'. JC puts his hand out, looking at me like I have to meet them because they're working with them, and helps me up. I stand up, JC is still facing me and he bends down enough to whisper in my ear. "They are writing some of our songs and help produce the albums." I nod. "Relax, they're cool guys." I nod again, he grabs my hand and walks me over to the two guys at the soundboard. "Jazzy, this is Denniz PoP and this is Max Martin," he said as he motioned to each of them and I shake each of their hands, making sure to stay calm. "Max, Denniz, this is our friend and little sister, Jazzy."

Max smiles a gentle kind of smile. "I won't bite you, Jazzy. Justin, maybe, but that's only when his voice cracks."

Justin looks offended. "Hey!"

Max and I laugh. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Martin."

"Just call me Max."

I nod and smile. Denniz smiles a welcoming way. "I keep JC from showing off and out doing the other boys."

I see JC hang his head. "It's not my fault they can't keep up." The three of us laugh, knowing it's a joke and we're the only ones that heard it.

"Are you the Jazzy we've been hearing of from these boys?"

I look at each of them as they nod. "I hope so, otherwise I'm gonna have some butts to kick later."

Max and Denniz laugh. "JC told us your real name is Samantha."

"Then, yes, I am the Jazzy you've been having your ears talked off about."

"The same one who has Nick by the heart?"

"Nick? Nick what?"

"Carter."

"I talk to him, but I'm not sure that I have him by his heart."

"They were here last week and talked to a 'Jazz' from 2:30 until almost 4am."

"That's me and that's because in Orlando it was between 8:30 and 10 at night. I had to go to bed for school."

"Kristian, Gary, Veit, Evan and Carl will be coming in about noon, for the last couple hours. We plan on finishing up around 3. It gives us about, I say close to 6 1/2 hours before you need to leave for the arena." Keep in mind he has a strong Swedish accent but he speaks really good English. "We will mix it after you leave and you can come back before you leave tomorrow."

JC and Lance nod. "Ok. We can try to be here for 7 tomorrow morning."

"That works out perfectly."

They immediately tell JC to get in the booth, he's the first 'victim' in the line up. Max has me sit between him and Denniz. "Turn this dial to the right."

I look at him. "Are you sure it's ok?"

"Go ahead." I do it slowly. "Perfect." He smiles at me. A guy comes up behind me. He has brown hair and light brown eyes, about 5'9" and 150 lbs (I think). "Evan! You're early."

"I thought I would come help mix. Who is this?"

"This is the Jazzy that these boys and Nick Carter have spoken of as of lately."

"Hello, I'm Evan."

"How are you?"
"I'm good. Having fun?"

"Max told me to do it."

Denniz, Max and Evan laugh. Evan smiles. "It's ok. See this lever?"

I look at the lever he's pointing to. "Yeah."

"Push it up 3 lines."

I do exactly like he told me. "Like that?"

"Yes, you're a natural. Press this button." I push the button. "JC, do that verse again and accentuate the words, but make them flow into one another."

JC smiles and nods. "You got it, Evan."

"You can let go of it." I let the button go and JC gives a thumbs up, smiling at me.

For the rest of their studio session, I press buttons, turn dials and move switches as Evan, Max, Denniz and the other producers and mixers tell me to.  I shared quite a few laughs with the guys, producers, mixers, engineers and Andi. By the end of their recording session, I swear there was close to twenty people in that studio room and of course Joey had his damn camera practically attached to his hand or shoved into mine. We had a brunch type deal around 12:15. Max and Denniz pulled JC and Lance aside and talked to them for a few minutes. Everyone else is leaving and it's only going on 2:15. JC and Lance smile. Lance sits next to me and grabs my hand. "Do you want to record some songs for you to keep?"

"Like a souvenir?"

"Yeah, like a souvenir."

JC stands next to me. "We'll make sure Johnny doesn't get the tape."

"What do I need?"

"The instrumentals for the songs you want to do."

"I have the songs on my tapes, but with vocals."

"We can mix those out, like I did earlier."

"Ok. Tomorrow? Is there a way where I would hear them but the vocals not pop up on the tape?"

"Yes. Max and Denniz want to do it for how hard you worked along side them today."

"Thanks." I look at Max and Denniz. "Thank you, it means alot to me. I appreciate it." I smile and they nod at me with smiles on their faces. I look at JC and smirk. I been good and now I'm hungry."

"We just ate two hours ago."

"I been bouncing around and mixing your music. If you ain't payin' me in money, pay me in FOOD!" I put my hands on my hips as I stand up and wave my finger at him. The other guys, Max, Denniz and Andi burst out laughing, causing the two of us to start laughing and all seriousness to go out the window. After we stop laughing, I have to point out that I meant food. "But, in all seriousness, I really am hungry."

JC shakes his head. "How the hell do you stay so small?"

"Dancing. Get me food and I'll show you."

"What do you want?"

I look at the rest of the guys and Andi, thinking. I look at JC. "Chinese."

"Oh, man, one of my weaknesses."

I nod, trying to play like a hard ass. "Great minds think and eat alike." They laugh again. JC kneels down so I can have a piggy back ride to the bus and I climb up, loosely wrapping my arms around his neck. We say good bye to Denniz and Max and walk back to the bus. On the way back to the bus my eyes are bouncing back and forth from plaque to plaque on the studio's hallway walls. "Whoa. Hold on, go back three plaques. I think I saw a familiar face. Please?"

"Hold up, guys. Jazz thinks she saw someone she knows on the wall." The other 4 guys and Andi wait as JC backs up so I can look at the plaque for the original European release of Backstreet Boys' debut album.

I point out Nick for JC. "Isn't that Nick? The Nick I talk to?"

"Yeap. That's your Nick Carter."
"He's in a group called the Backstreet Boys?"

"Yes. Just like we're *NSYNC."
"I'm still getting used to that. This" I point to the plaque "just means he worked hard to get what he's achieved."

"Yeap. Johnny's their manager too."

"He's still a regular 16 year old boy. His job is just more demanding than most is all. Like Justin's job."

"Exactly. Did he tell you?"

"He said he was in a group and would explain it when we meet."

"Kind of like we did."

"Yeah. Maybe he doesn't know how to tell me other than face to face."

"Like us? We had to figure you out and really get to know you and you get to know us before we told you."

"Yeah. Maybe that's what he's doing. Either way, he works hard and probably puts on a good show. You guys can't embarrass me out there."

"We wouldn't dream of it. Ready to go?"

"Yeah, let's get our grub on!"

He runs to the bus, all the way to the lounge and drops me on a corner seat of the couch, causing me to laugh like a hyena. "You're so easy to amuse."

"Hmmmm. Food, sugar, dancing, goofiness, laughter, good movies, video games, friends, family, and I can be me. Yeap, easily amused." I look at JC and smile the cheesiest smile I can, causing us both to start laughing. I see the Sega sitting under the TV, run over, sit on the floor, and begin hooking it up. As I focus on this task, I stick my tongue out of the side of mouth, curling it over the right corner of my top lip, and gently bite down on it. After I have it hooked up, I look for a two player game. They have 'Pacman', 'Ms. Pacman', 'Altered Beast', 'Sonic 2', 'Power Rangers', 'Mortal Kombat' (1-3) and 'Sonic 3'. "Josh, what game?"

"You want a challenger?"

"Well, duh!"

"Put in 'Pacman' and I'll beat your butt before we get to the restaurant."

"You're on, bro." I put it in and motion for him to take the second controller.

"Why do you get first player?"

"You picked the game."

"Ok, I'm not going to be nice."

I start to set it up. "We're doing VS."
"Fine."

"I'm gonna win."

"What if I win?"

"You pick the next game and it can't be this one."
"You win?"
"I pick the next 2 player game."

"You got yourself a deal."

We shake on it. "Just so you know, I can beat my mom at this game and she's got more than years on me when it comes to this game."

"And you think you're going to kick my ass at it?"

I start the first level. "Yeap." We play level for level and JC dies on level 6, which makes me the winner, not only by lives either. "I beat you by over 3,000 points, but also by 2 lives."

"Shut up. Pick a game."

I smile. Joey comes to the door. "We're at the restaurant."

"Last to touch their nose is last to go. Joey judge this. Last one to touch their nose has to shut everything down."

"Deal." JC's feeling cocky even though he just got his ass whooped at 'Pacman' by a 13 year old GIRL.

Joey watches us. "Nose goes! JC, shut it down." I stick my tongue out at him and smile. JC tries to grab my tongue and misses. "You two really do act like brother and sister."

"Thanks, Joey." I smile and he shakes his head.

We go in the restaurant and eat dinner, talking and joking around the whole time. Justin is acted like an idiot as we wait for our food. I think Joey caught it on camera. I was talking to JC and he was trying to pay attention but Justin was a distraction. We get done with dinner and go to the arena for rehearsal. We show up half an hour early. I sit on the stage and call Nick. I had noticed the posters of previous performers and recognized Nick right away.

It rings three times. "Hello?"
"Hey, you."

"Jazz. How was your landing?"

"The landing and flight were fine. I had Lynn call my mom. I have to call her before I go to bed tonight."

"So, have you found out what they had to tell you?"

"Yeah. They are *NSYNC."

"I guess that's cool."
"Anything you wanna tell me?"

"Like what?"

"About your group?"

"What haven't I told you?"
"The name."

"Oh, heh. I meant to tell you that, I guess it kinda slipped my mind."

"Nick. You're a friend of mine and I don't care about anything but who you are and that you're honest with me. Spend time with me, talk to me, and be honest."

"I'm in the Backstreet Boys."

"See? Was that so hard?"

"You don't care?"

"No, why should I?"

"Why don't you?"

"It's a job for you. One that keeps you busy alot of the time, is very demanding and you are dedicated to working hard on. You're still the Nick Carter from Tampa, who has three sisters, a brother, a half sister, a mom, a dad, a great family, unbelieveable friends, and a loving support system that will love you no matter what happens."

"You understand that?"

"Completely."

"Wow, you do care about who I really am."

"If I didn't, I wouldn't be so calm. You're just a 16 year old boy." I look around for Lance, making sure he's not near me or in hearing range. "Who I happen to like alot."

"We haven't met yet."
"It's your personality, your laugh, your voice."

"You're falling for me?"

"I guess so."

"Would you let me kiss you?"

"Not right away."

"Heh. Anticipation just makes it better."

"I think we should chill with that noise for awhile."

"Take it slow?"

"Very."

"Alright. Could I hold you in my arms?"

"Maybe." I know, we're flirting and we're teenagers. I know what he looks like and he has pictures of me. His brother even sent him videos of me being me around two of his sisters, Angel and Leslie. The three of us have become very close friends, kinda like Charlie's Angels.

"I got another video of you from Aaron." I told you Aaron sends him videos. I wonder what's on the tape he just got. Aaron's taped me talking to Nick on the phone, hanging with their sisters, dancing, laughing, swimming, tickling Aaron till he begs for mercy (I learned it from JC), and doing my homework.

"What's on this one?" I add in a sigh for dramatic purposes.

Nick laughs, knowing I do that sigh just to pretend to be dramatic about it. "The normal stuff and a clip of you singing. I love to listen to it over and over. What song were you singing?"

"I sing alot of songs. Play it for me."

"I have to go in the lounge area."

"Ok. I'll wait."

I hear him close the door, turn on the TV and press play on the VCR. "Mmmmm, here we are."

I listen to it play. "Aaliyah's '4 Page Letter'."

"You sing like 9 songs on it."

"Play em all."

"Ok. There's this one."

I listen. "Mariah Carey's 'Always Be My Baby'."

He fast forwards to the next one. "This one."

"Aaliyah, 'Age Ain't Nothing But a Number'."

"This one."

"Beach Boys, 'Kokomo'."

"This one?"

"Mariah Carey, 'Looking In'."

"This one?"

"Aaliyah, 'One In A Million'."

"This one?"

"112, 'Come See Me'."

"This one?"

"Tupac, 'Keep Ya Head Up'."

"This one?"

"Leann Rimes, 'One Way Ticket (Because I Can)'."

"That's all 9. I guess you are an all around music lover. Wait, there's one more."

"Play it."
"Alright."
"Richard Marx, 'I Will Be Right Here Waiting For You'."
"I got to the end almost. Um, last one becasue it's the end of the tape almost. Only about 3 minutes left on it. Playing it now."

"Fugees, 'Killing Me Softly'. Remake of Roberta Flack. Original release was in 1972."

"How many is that?"

"Altogether, there's 11 your brother caught me singing, taped and sent to you."

"Could you sing me a song?"

"Now?"

"Please?"

"What song?"

"Lenny Kravitz, 'Can't Get You Off My Mind'."

"Alright, here goes nothing.

Life is just a lonely highway
I'm out here on the open road
I'm old enough to see behind me
But young enough to feel my soul
I don't wanna lose you baby
And I don't wanna be alone
Don't wanna live my days without you
But for now I've got to be without you
I've got a pocket full of money
And pocket full of keys that have no bounds
But then I think of lovin'
And I just can't get you off of my mind
Babe can't you see
That this is killing me
I don't want to push you baby
And I don't want you to be told
It's just that I can't breathe without you
Feel like I'm gonna lose control
I've got a pocket full of money oh yes I do
And a pocket full of keys that have no bounds
But when it comes to lovin'
I just can't get you off of my mind
Am I a fool to think that there's a little hope yeeah tell me baby yeah
What are the rules the reasons and the do's and don'ts yeeah yeah
Tell me baby tell me baby yeah
What do you feel inside?
I've got a pocket full of money
And a pocket full of keys that have no bounds oh yeah
But when it comes down to lovin'
I just can't get you off of my mind
I just can't get you off of my mind."

I hear Nick breathing on the other end of the line. JC nudges my side with his foot. I swat at his foot and look at him. "It's easier to sing over the phone than it is face to face?"
I nod. "Wow, I didn't think you'd sound so beautiful. What's that song?"

"It's 'I Can't Get You Off My Mind', Lenny Kravitz sings it."

"I guess you are an all around music lover."

"Yeah. I love music. I'm sure someone in your group has that album or the single. Ask if you can listen to that track and listen tothe words." I spot Darren and signal 'one minute'.

"I will."

"Gotta go. Gotta dance off the pizza, Chinese, and Pixi Stix I had today. Gonna have fun too."

"Ok. Call me later?"

"You call me later. Around ten."

"How about ten forty-five?"

"Sounds good."

I hear Nick talking to someone on his end. "Talk to you later.'

"Later." I roll onto my stomach and get up. I hug Darren. "How's James been doing with the steps?"

"Starting to slip."
"I'll fix that. Play the tracks."

I grab Lance and drag him on stage to rehearse, causing the other 4 guys to fall into position around us. Darren starts the playback (I call em backtracks). We go through the set three times and Lance gets it almost as good as he did before leaving Orlando. "How's that?"

"Better. Much better. Don't embarrass me tonight."

"What if I miss a step?" He runs his hand through his blonde hair as his beautiful green eyes fill with worry.

"James, just fall into place and step with the other guys. Move onto the next step."

He nods. "Alright, thanks."

"Relax and go get ready for the show."

Darren walks over and hands me a lanyard with a card dangling from it. "Your access passes for their dressing room, backstage, and the tour bus."

"Oh, VIP treatment cards."

"Yes, you get these for the whole time you're with us and then you can take them home."

"Thanks." I put em on and head backstage.

Joey catches me and hands me the camera. "Tape the show tonight?"

"Sure. how long till you're on?"

"Ten minutes before they start letting people in."
"So about half an hour?"
"Twenty minutes."
"Hope the other guys hurry up then."

They do their Hackey routine and group prayer. As they go on stage, they all give me a quick hug. I tape their performance and cheer them on from backstage. We finish the show and we run to the bus, Andi in tow. I hear security do a run by head count. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5 guys and 1, 2 girls. We have all seven. All are out of the building."

I look at Lance. "When did we hire security?"

"After we came back and almost got mobbed, they started tonight."

"Who are they?"

Lance leads me around to the security team introduces me to each one. I know there's Derek, Randy, Todd, Eric, Mike, Lonnie, Wesley, Andre and Big Dogg. "Guys, this is Jazzy. You'll have to protect her until the 17th, when she goes home." 

They all stand up and are over a foot taller than I am. They shake my hand and direct friendly nods in my direction, some of them even smile. I go in the lounge with JC and Lance. "When do they follow us around and protect us?"

"When we go anywhere."
"As in?"

"Outside the bus or hotel rooms we're in."

I hang my head and check the time. I call my mom. "Hello?"

"Hey Ma."
"Are you with Lynn, Andi and the boys?"
"Yes, I am."
"Can I talk to Joshua?"

"Sure." I hold the phone out to JC. "She wants to talk to you."

He rolls his eyes. "Hello? Hi, Vikki. We just got back on the bus. We actually had to hire security and they started tonight. All have previous police or FBI work histories. Yeah, she's more than safe. We can't leave the bus or our hotel rooms with out at least one member of the security team with us." He laughs. "She's sitting in the lounge with Lance-. James and I are with her in the lounge on the bus. We have an after party we have to attend and then we're in for the night. By 2 in the morning we have be on the bus. I will make sure she's safe. I'm sure. Ok, good night." He hands me back my cell phone. "She says since security got hired, you don't have to call the rest of your time out here."

"Thanks." I check the time and see I have about 45 minutes before Nick is supposed to call. "How long until we get to the club?"

"An hour or so. Rest up."

I grab my pillow, throw it at JC, put my feet on Lance's lap and my head on JC's abs. Lance pulls my shoes off and starts to rub my feet and calves. I feel JC running his fingers through my hair. I know I fall asleep. I wake up to my cell phone vibrating in my hand. I don't even open my eyes. "Hmm?"

"Did I wake you?"

"Not really. Haven't opened my eyes."

Nick laughs. "Can you hold a good conversation while half asleep?"

"Depends on the subject."
"How was your first concert?"

"Unbelieveable. James did great and the rest of the guys were awesome, as well. Vocals were so melodic, I wanted to fall asleep backstage. Met the security team, who are nice. They are massive guys. I have my head on a pillow on Josh's abs and he's running his fingers through my hair. My legs are on James and he's rubbing my calves and feet."

"Sounds like you're being spoiled." Nick's tone is pissy.

"What's with the tone?"
"I just don't wanna have you around Lance."

"Why? He's like family to me. There's nothing between us, promise."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

"Can I trust you?"

"That's what I build all my relationships on. Friendship or otherwise."

"You're right."

"Exactly." We talk about football, Nintendo games, Sega games, school and Orlando. He asks if I've even read anything about the dolphins. I tell him some of the things I read about dolphins since the last time we talked about dolphins (a couple days ago). He says he's tired and will call me tomorrow. I agree and we hang up.

About half an hour later, we get to the club and go in. We dance our butts off and have a blast. Do I really remember much about it other than hanging out, having fun, and dancing? No, I don't. After two and a half hours of dancing, hanging out, security rounds the 7 of us up and makes us get on the bus.

Derek realizes something is off with me. My cheeks are red, I'm giggling a little too much, and my eyes are dilated. "JC, isn't this one under your watch?" Derek is holding me up as we walk to the bus.

JC turns around. "Yeah, Jazzy's under my watch."

"Man, she's hot to the touch, red in the face, giggly, her eyes don't look right and she can't walk right."

JC walks up to me and makes me look him in the face. I know my words are gonna be slurred, so I refuse to speak. "I know her problem. We should get her on the bus. She needs water and sleep."

Derek hands me to JC, who carries me like a baby in his arms. "You drank some of our shit didn't you?"

I roll my head toward his chest and loosely wrap my arms around his neck. "Mmmmm-mmmmm."

"Yes, you did. Jazz, I know you. You're lying."

"I did not."

"Look me in the face."

I hear the bus door shut as JC gets near the bunks. I look him in the face. "I didn't drink your shit." Shit, my word slurred. I'm busted. "I need to go to the bathroom."

He puts me down. "We're dealing with this before and after you fall asleep. Thanks, Derek."

I roll my eyes, go to the bathroom, wash my hands and splash my face with cold water. I broke the seal, so I'm a little more sober. I come out and JC realizes I'm walking a little better. "How can you prove it?" My words aren't as slurred.

He leads me to the lounge. "I know how you act when you're tired compared to this. Drink this water. You need to flush the alcohol. Who's drink did you sip off?"

I look at him like he's crazy. "Where am I sleeping?"

"Lounge or my bunk. Don't change the subject. Who's drink?"

"Talk in the morning."
"No, now. I can just call your mom."
"No!"

"Tell me and I won't."
"Yours, Chris's, Joey's and Todd's."

"Who's more?"

"Joey's and yours."

He grabs his pillow, two blankets, sits on a corner part of the couch, puts a blanket on himself, puts my pillow on his abs and turns on the TV. "Lay your sneaky ass down." He points next to himself on the part of the couch that extends from his side. I lay down, putting my water on the floor, without fighting him. I know he's just trying to keep me safe and look out for me, protect me like a good older brother would. "I love you and I get that you're trying to rebel, but don't fight me."

"Love you, too, big brother."

He takes my hair down and runs his fingers through it, causing me to almost immediately fall asleep. "You don't need to act out, just talk to me. I'd rather know you're doing what you did, than wonder why or if you did. Just tell me."

Somehow she managed to get a great buzz at that club last night. If Derek hadn't said anything, I'm not sure I would have realized she had any alcohol in her system. She's 13. She's also got so much happening probably a little too fast. I guess I'm going to have to pull her aside. I need to know why. Does it run in her family? Dammit! I look at the time on my cell phone to find out that it's 5:17. Another hour or so before we head in the studio. I have to get up. I carefully lift Jazzy's head using the pillow and slowly get up, making sure to gently lower the pillow to the couch. I can't even begin to comprehend why she did that. I grab my shower supplies, towel and a set of clean clothes. I go to the bathroom and go through my morning routine. I get out to find Lance sitting at the table as I put my things away. He's watching me like he has something he wants to talk to me about something. "What's on your mind, Pez?"

"I heard you asking Jazz about drinks." Shit! I thought he was asleep, he's usually out like a damn light when his head hits that pillow.

"What about it?" Let's see if I can flip it and him buy it.

"What kind of drinks? I know you guys went in the lounge to finish talking."

"Yeah. I dealt with it, so don't stress it."

"I thought her words were slurred."

"She was overtired."

"JC, you can't lie. I'm not dumb, either. I also know that her mom doesn't have alcohol in the house. Vikki told me so. She wouldn't tell me why."

Vikki told me. Now I understand the situation. Jazzy has her good friends back home and then she had this group of trouble makers she would hang with on Friday nights, a couple times a month. I turn away from Lance and lie again. It's not my place or business to tell anyone. "I don't know either." This is why Vikki made me her keeper when I'm around Jazz.

"You'd tell me and the guys if you knew something we don't, right?"

Shit, Lance! "Of course." If Vikki hadn't made me promise not to say anything. I head back to the lounge. I turn the tv on and make sure that it's loud enough to cover the conversation I'm going to have with Jazzy. I shake her awake. "Jazz, get up. We have to talk." She yawns and stretches before even looking at me.

"What's up?" She always says that.

"You got pretty buzzed last night."

"I don't remember much after they played 'Come See Me'." That was during the first 45 minutes. Was that when she was grinding on the dance floor with-that explains so much.

"You were drinking." I see the gears working in her head as she thinks back.

"Dammit! Did I do anything stupid? I only remember up to the first time it went to the chorus of that song." Just before she started dancing like she was my age.

"Do you remember who you were grinding on?"

"No."

"Let's just hope he doesn't either and things aren't weird after last night."

She sighs. "It was one of the other guys, wasn't it?"

I don't answer it, but I have one question that only she can answer because only she knows the answer. "How long have you been drinking?"

"What do you know?"

"The trouble makers in MA, couple times a month."

"Since the summer I was 11. Last day of school and I went to a friend from school's house and they had hard liquor. They called me a pussy till I took a shot and I couldn't stop so their mom said I could stay the night because I had 'fallen asleep' and asked my mom. I was passed out."

"Anything else I should know about?"

She covers her face. "Not that I can think of right now."

"Jazz, it's one thing to say you want a drink, but it's completely different when you do it. Hiding it makes it worse. How long did you go with out it?"

"Almost 4 months. November, December, January, and I only had to make it through tomorrow and it would have been 4 months to the day." I can't believe her mom didn't know until this past August.

"Over a year before your mom realized it. How did you manage that?"

"I'd ask if I could stay over that person's house and have her meet the parents. They'd impress her and she'd be fine with it."

"How did you manage to be an honor roll student and battle this damn demon?"

"I don't even know but I did." I'm seeing the scared side of her and how she fights to maintain her innocence when she's sober. She has a pretty big demon to battle and she's not an adult yet.

"We're going to figure out how to deal with this without you drawing attention to you. Lance is already asking questions. What are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know, not yet. I need a shower and time to clear my head."

"Your bags are under Justin's bunk."

"Josh?"

"What?"

"Thanks for understanding and not telling anyone." She hugs me before getting her things for a shower. I hear Lance say good morning to her and her say it back to him.

She gets in the shower and Lance comes into the lounge as I turn the tv down. "So, is there anything the four of us should know?"

"If there was, you'd know it. If it's her secret, it's her business. If it's mine, I'd tell you." He gives up and watches tv. This is going to eat away at me and she trusts me not to tell anyone. I go through my day in a foggy haze. I know we went to the studio before hopping on a plane to Dublin. I don't remember the details, but I know we did.

I know I told JC about ONE of my inner demons this morning. I can’t tell him about my family. That’s not something I wanna tell anyone. I can’t stay as strong as I am if I open those old wounds again. My aunt, my cousin, my brother’s best friend, my grandfather. He just can’t find out about any of it. I love the guys, but I can’t bear to tell them about any of it. I was able to be fine until last night when the memories came back when they played that second song. I’m never gonna tell them and keep it inside, keeping it locked away till the day I die.

I have to focus on today. I go under Justin’s bunk and as I grab hold of my gym bag and duffle, I hear Lance. “Good morning, Jazz.”

I look at him and smile sheepishly. I don’t know why. “Mornin’, James.”

He smiles and quickly looks down, trying to hide the fact that he’s blushing. I see Derek watching me closely. “You look better after some sleep, Jazzy.”

“Thanks, D.” He smiles and nods.

Lance looks at me. “About last night, what was up with you?”

I pull my bags into the walkway and look in them, not looking at Lance. “I was excited and having fun, why?”

“Just wondering why you were dancing with me like that.”

FUCK! It was Lance I was grinding on! I guess it’s better that I DON’T remember. “I had a lot of energy.” I can’t tell him what JC just found out. It’s too soon. He’s not going to understand. I quickly dart for the bathroom after I shove my bags under the bunk. I get in the shower and wash up, thinking about last night the whole time. I don’t remember  anything between the first run through of the chorus of ‘Come See Me’ and JC putting me on my feet so I could use the bathroom. I love music and dancing, but the demon got the best of me last night and that sick fucker is probably laughing its ass off at me right now.

Someone knocks on the bathroom door. “Jazz, can I talk to you?” It’s Andi.

Can I just be left the FUCK ALONE? Drop it and move on, please. I put my forehead on the wall below the showerhead, letting the water hit my back, contemplating on whether or not I should talk to her and find out why she wants to talk to me. She’s turning 15 soon.

I sigh, secretly hoping I don’t regret my decision. “Yeah, sure. Lemme finish my shower and I’ll find you.”

“Alright, thanks.” I hear her walk away from the door, in the general direction of the lounge.

I get out, dry off, and get dressed before grabbing everything that’s mine. I head back near Justin’s bunk and put my stuff away, making sure to act like I don’t feel Lance’s eyes burning into me. I don’t know how long I can deal with him looking at me like that. I feel like he’s looking at me like he did after that kiss, times infinity. I don’t know why and I suppose it may be a normal guy thing. Note to self-ask JC if it’s normal for a guy to look at a girl so intensely and like he wants to make love so it lasts forever and a day. Joey must have been watching me while I avoid Lance’s eyes because his bunk is two spots above Justin’s, giving him a good angle to see my face and Lance’s. “There’s tension between you and Pez. I’m just wondering why he’s looking at you like he wants to have a long session of love making with you and you won’t even look at him. You seem to be avoiding him like the Bubonic Plague.”

“I just don’t really wanna talk to him. I don’t feel good. I’m going in the lounge.”

“I’m here when you want to talk, Jazz.”

“Thanks.” I smile at Joey and go in the lounge as Justin leaves it, a teasing smile on his lips. I see JC, Chris and Andi looking at me as I turn the TV on just loud enough to make the conversation hard for eavesdroppers to hear clearly. “What’s up?”

Chris looks at me, concern written across his features. “I could tell you had a good buzz last night.”

I look at him like I just got caught stripping. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Chris.”

“Andi pointed you out. You were not only grinding on Pez, but also red in the face, laughing, kissing, and literally making love to him on the floor. The poor guy thinks he’s going to get you. Alcohol was clearly involved on your end of it.” I hide my face behind my open hand. “Jazz, look at me. I’m worried. I don’t want you to lead him or Justin on. I don’t know if we’d be able to deal with those two being rejected after you act like that with them. Joey? He’ll just deal with it because he’s Joey. Justin likes you but he saw last night as the opportunity to grind with you and have a great night. He knew it’s the closest to kissing and screwing you he’d ever get. Hell, he even kissed you! He pinned you against the wall, kissed and grinded on you.”

“He had a teasing smile on his face when he saw me.”

“That’s why. JC says you don’t remember from the first time the chorus for that 112 song came on until after the club.”

“I remember him putting me down so I could use the bathroom. The few minutes before falling asleep, but it seems choppy.”

“Do you even know what you drank?”

“No. I do know some of it burned going down and some didn’t. I know there were mint schnapps, a harder alcohol that tasted nasty, sweet whiskey, a hot cinnamon flavored whiskey, a fruity flavored rum and another drink with flakes in it.”

“How many shots did you have?”

“How many did you order and don’t remember having?”

“According to the bartender, we ordered close to twenty of each one. We only count 9.”

“I watched you guys take 13 shots a piece.”

“Wow, ok. That leaves 7 of each.”

“Which I had.”

“You took over 40 shots? How in the hell do you not have a hang over?”

“I just don’t.”

“Either you’re experienced or your system is kick ass.”

JC clears his throat. “I think we’ve figured out why our tab ran so high, so let’s drop it right now.”

“An hour and a half before we left the club she was hammered.”

“We know why now.”

I cover my eyes with my hand so my fingers rest on one of my temples and my thumb on the other, getting very pissed off very fast. “Look, just drop it. It’s been figured out and let’s just talk about something else.”

“Touchy. I was just wondering.” Chris is clearly confused.

“So what’s the plan?”

“Well, we have to shower and then it’s in the studio for the seven of us.”
“Well, let’s get it done. It’s already quarter till six.”

Everyone scrambles around getting ready and that leaves me alone in the lounge. Alone for all of ten minutes, in the corner seat with my knees held close to my body by my arms and my head on my knees. Lance kneels in front of me, rubbing my arms until I look at him. I notice he closed the lounge door and had put the radio on just loud enough to make it hard for anyone but us to hear. “What’s wrong?”

I quickly try to look away and fail miserably. “Nothing,” I snap.

He doesn’t move or even flinch. “Something is wrong. This isn’t my Jazzy. Last night wasn’t my Jazzy either.”

“How do you know?”

“The Jazzy I know and still love for being my best friend is happy, in control and thinks first. She also doesn’t let things get to her. The Jazzy I know didn’t just open up in order to hurt me. If you like and trust me, then go ahead. If you want to love me as a friend, I’d love it and love you back. If you’re scared, tell me. If you’re hurt, let me know. If you hate me, beat me senseless. If you want me to hold you, tell me. If you need anything emotionally, let me know. Friends and family are there for you, to love you regardless of what happens. Nothing will stop me from being there for one of my best friends in her time of need. Not even a tour.”

I look at the floor and start to cry. “I can’t even tell you what I feel, I don’t even know.”

He gently lifts my head using just his finger tips. “I’m here and I do care.” He pulls me close and lets me cry on his shoulder, rubbing my back. “You’re my best friend and I don’t want to lose our friendship.”

I hear the door open. “Pez, why is she crying?”

“I told her how I know she wasn’t the same Jazzy we love last night. That she’s my best friend and I don’t want to lose the friendship she and I have. I’ll always be there for her.”

“Ok. Break her heart and I’ll break your face, fucker.”

“JC, I feel the same way about other guys.”

“I know. I would hate to see her hurt like that.”

“We all would.”

I flip JC off. “I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself.”

“After last night, I don’t believe it.”

Lance leans back and we look at each other. “I know you have quite a bit going on in your life, heart and mind. You’ll be ok someday, until then, we’re all here for you.”

Now I know why I need him as a friend. “James, thanks.” He smiles, stands up and helps me get up. JC seems to be out of it today, like not himself since I told him that earlier.

I hear Lynn trying to get Justin and Chris to chill out at the front of the bus.

“We’re pulling up to the studio now.”

I nod and follow the two of them to the front of the bus. Andi falls into step with us as we get off the bus and head into the studio. “What happened?”

“What do you mean ‘what happened’?”

“Between you and Lance.”

“He reminded me what I mean to him and the guys, who I am, and that they care.”

“Well, stop dwelling on the negatives and start seeing the blue skies and beautiful sunsets.”

“Andi, are you ok?” I check her forehead with the back of my hand for a fever, teasing smile on my lips.

She swats my hand away and laughs. “I’m fine. Just look at the better things in life. Ok?”

I nod. “Alright.”

We walk into the studio reserved for the boys, greet Max and Denniz, and decide to record three songs-Mariah’s ‘Looking In’, ‘Always Be My Baby’ and Lenny Kravitz’s ‘Can’t Get You Off My Mind’. We got in the studio around 7a and I finished around 1p. Leaving the boys with 7 hours to record what they had to. Our plane leaves for Dublin around 9:30 and we were leaving the studio at 8, to get there a little early. We order some Italian and subs for lunch, making sure we each got waters and sodas. The whole time I realize JC is completely spacing out, there with us but not really there. Unusually quiet, talking as little as he can. Justin snaps his fingers in JC’s face. “Hey, Jace. What’s up with you today?”

He shakes his head. “Nothing, J. Thinking about things.”
“Whatever’s bugging you, you know you can tell us.”

“Nah, it’s a song I got stuck in my mind. It’ll stop replaying eventually.” He smiles forcefully.

We finally get our food around 2, eat and the guys get back to work, giving me and Andi time to talk. We talk about boys, music, dancing, the tour, and going back home. We get up and start to dance, enjoying our time together. I mean, come on, ten days is never going to do much. Lynn comes into the studio just before 8 and rounds us up. We hug Denniz and Max and head for the bus, JC and I are the last two out of the studio door. On the way out, I look at the plaque for BSB and smile. I whisper a few words as I pass it, “Soon, Nick. We’ll be able to hang out soon.”

JC breaks the silence when we’re the only ones in the lounge at the back of the bus. “You realize what you told me is still bothering me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s bothering me because you haven’t told anyone else.”

“I’m not ready to tell anyone else. I don’t feel safe enough.”

“What about Lance?”

“Not yet. He knows some things you don’t and you know some things I’m not ready to tell him yet.”

He stops on MTV, which is talking about their tours and singles before returning to their line up of videos. All I understood was *NSYNC and the pictures. JC is caught off guard. “Only Joey and Chris have girlfriends!” He jumps off the couch as he screams at the TV.

“What did they say? All I understood was the picture of you giving me a piggy back ride and you carrying me in the club parking lot. I understood when they said your group name.”

“They said my name too. Were you paying attention?”

“Not really.” I look at him like he’s lost his damn mind.

“They said you’re dating me!”

“What?” I start laughing.

“It’s not funny!”
“Your reaction is.”

“I hate the paparazzi.”

I start laughing again as Lance walks in. “Why are you screaming and why is Jazzy laughing hysterically?”

JC nearly flips out on Lance. “MTV is claiming Jazzy and I are seeing each other!”
“What do you mean?”

“Seeing her as in DATING HER!”

“Why are they saying that?”

“They have pictures of me carrying her from the club and giving her piggy back rides.”

Lance is trying not to laugh. “So, we’ll just call Johnny and get word out that she’s your ‘cousin’ and the two of you are very close.”

“Alright, I’m calling Johnny.”

We pull up to the airport and JC withdraws himself, back into his little world. I figure he’s not gonna remember this, but I will because it was so funny to watch him flip out. He is just so funny looking when he gets mad. Keep in mind he’s like a brother (or cousin when it comes to the media) to me and if he’s not mad at me, it’s downright FUCKING HYSTERICAL! We check in, board and we’re off to Ireland. Can’t wait to see Dublin! I’m completely psyched!!! My seat is next to Justin’s and he lets me lean on him, just so I sleep on the flight instead of freaking out. “Can you run your fingers through my hair?”

Justin looks down at me as I look up to him. “Sure, if it helps you fall asleep.”
“It does.”

He takes the clip outta my hair and starts to run his fingers through my hair as we settle in. I’m as settled in as I’m gonna get cuz I’m buckled and my bags are on the plane, I just need help falling asleep. Once I fall asleep, I’ll be golden. By the time the flight attendants finish their take off routine, I’m asleep on Justin’s shoulder. I sleep the whole flight, even though it’s only a 3 or 4 hour flight.

I’m woken up by Justin giving me a piggy back because JC has Andi. I go back to sleep until morning, knowing I’m not only safe but in good hands. I’d bet any amount of money that Joey taped how they got me from the plane to the hotel bed.

I wake up in a hotel room. I stretch and look around. I laugh at what I see-JC asleep on the other bed, Lynn with her head on her arms while sitting on the table, Andi out cold at the foot of JC's bed, Justin and Joey between the two beds, Chris at the foot of my bed, and Lance between the other side of the bed and the wall. I look for my bags and find them next to the bathroom door. I sit still for a minute before standing on the bed, walking off the edge of the bed, making sure to not fall on Chris to get to my bags. I find a note on it that makes smile. 'We thought you might be up before us so we put your gym bag by the bathroom door. You woke up for all of less than minute at the airport & we have proof from when you fell asleep on the plane. Take your shower before we get up. -Chris, Joey, JC, Justin, Lance, Lynn & Andi'. I go in my bag, grab my shower stuff, jeans, a football jersey (Justin's gonna smile about it-Tennessee Titans), a thermal shirt, a tank top, socks and underclothes. I go in the bathroom, strip, wash up in the shower and got dressed. I open the bathroom door and started brushing my teeth. I hear someone moving and shuffle toward the bathroom door. I look in the mirror and see Lance leaning on the door frame, causing me to quickly look down to hide the fact that I'm blushing. "Morning, Jazz."

I smile at him as I look at him in the mirror. He's wearing pj pants and no shirt, he looks good. "Mornin, James." He crosses his arms over his chest and watches me swish mouthwash in my mouth while I rinse my toothbrush. My cell rings as I spit the mouthwash out. "Could you please bring me my cell?"

"Here." He puts my cell next to my mouthwash and points to the room as I answer it.

"Thanks." I pick up. "Hello?"

"Hello, beautiful."
"Hey, Nick."

"We didn't talk yesterday."

"I got wrapped up in the studio."

"I know how that can be."

"We were there for 13 or 14 hours and it only felt like 3. Then we had to fly from Stockholm to Dublin and I just got done taking a shower and brushing my teeth. No, I'm not naked." I step over Chris onto the bed and lay across the center of the bed with my head hanging off as I continue to talk to Nick.

"So what are you doing today?"

"I dunno. James just got in the shower and he is the one that takes care of that."

"I have today and tomorrow off."
"Sweetness."
"Do you want to spend it together?"

"I have to speak with my keeper." I hear someone knock on the door to the hotel. "Who's at the door at this hour?"

"I have no idea. Maybe you should get up and check."

I stand on the bed, jump on the foot of JC's bed, and jump off it, landing by the door. I have my hand on the doorknob, Think for a second and dismiss it. "Nah, he wouldn't dare."

"What?"

I open the door and realize that I'm looking at a guy's chest. He's wearing a black Nike jersey with the number 80 on it, blue jeans, white sneakers with blue designs, and he has a silver chain around his right wrist. "Are you gonna look at my face?" I slowly look up and realize it's Nick, I quickly pop my head back in the room.

I see Lance. "James, hand me a key card, please? I'm gonna have Derek come with me. I'm going out for a bit."
He hands me a key card and looks at me funny. "Thanks." I shut the door and Derek's coming outta his room. "D!" I run up and hug him. "Hey, could you come with us and just make sure we don't get mobbed?"

"Baby J Girl, is that Nick Carter?"

"Yeah, and it's exactly why I need you to come with me. Please?" I pretend to pout and give the big puppy dog eyes.

"You told one of the guys?"

"Told Pez. He knows I'm going out."

"Alright, just let me grab my cell phone and key card. We'll go."

"Thanks, Derek!" He grabs his cell and key card and we leave as fast as we can, before any of the others can wake up.

"Why are you in such a rush to get out of there?" Derek asks me after we get almost a block away from the hotel.

I realize Nick let himself fall into step with me. I turn around and face Derek, making the three of us stop dead in our tracks. "Last thing I need is Daddy C freaking the fuck out cuz Nicky's here to see me. I didn't know that he knew where I was or that he was coming to see me."

Nick looks at me, smiles bashfully, and hooks his hands behind his head. "You told me you'd be in Dublin today when I talked to you a couple days ago."

I look at him and think back. "We've talk about everything from having siblings to music to jetlag to school to friends, just everything. How the hell can you remember that one little detail?"

"I wrote down most of what you told me. Things like your birthday, your mom's name, even the music you like." He smiles at me.

"Ok, cool kid, name 3 solo artists that I could listen to all day long and never get tired of?"

"Lenny Kravitz, Mariah Carey and Tim McGraw. Your favorite color is anything blue. Your football team of choice is the Dolphins because of Marino. You love the Nightmare On Elm Street and Child's Play movies. Your favorite cartoon is a toss up between Looney Tunes and Rugrats. Your favorite TV shows, which you haven't missed an episode of are Power Rangers and Sonic. You'd rather be working on a car, playing football, dancing, hanging out with your friends, or talking to me. You prefer jeans and sweats to skirts and dresses. You have the most beautiful eyes and freckles. You think your hips are too big, your feet are too small and that you're always going to have to prove yourself for one reason or another. You really don't like your height. Most of all, you don't understand why I even like you."

"Is that off the top of your head?" I'm surprised.

He nods, smiling. "Yeah. I love the sound of your voice." He gently grabs my hand, tugging me so I walk with him. "Your voice is soothing and melodic. Your eyes remind me of my favorite place-the ocean with blue skies. I love how your hips are, the freckles really make your eyes stand out, and how your hair smells."

"Why do you like my hips?"

He stands in front of me and puts his hands on my hips. "I love them because my hands can tell yours from anyone else's. I can stand behind you," he turns me around so my back is against his body, "and your body fits mine in all the ways I've asked for a girl's body to. Your hips are perfect and beautiful."

I let my head fall back so it rests near his shoulder. I look at at him, unsure of why it just feels so right. "But we don't even really know each other." I turn around to face him.

He just smiles. "You just have to trust your heart sometimes."

I shake my head and let it drop to his chest, looking down. "I can't do that."
"Why not?"

"I don't wanna feel the pain of a broken heart. I wanna know he's the one, that he won't hurt me, that I'm not someone he can just use and abuse, that I deserve trust and love and respect, that I actually mean something, that I truly matter, that he loves me, that he does care for me, cares about me, and that he doesn't only want me, but needs me in his life."

Nick curls a finger and placing the middle knuckle under my chin, makes me look him in the eye. He puts his forehead on mine so his hat covers our faces. "Jazz, I know. You said all that before. I need you in my life. I care for and about you. I like you for who you are. You matter to me. You deserve trust, respect and love from everyone in your life. You have so much meaning  that I have a hard time trying to pick one. You matter to me more than you'll ever know. I won't knowingly hurt you. I won't abuse or use you. There's just something about you that makes me want to be near you, talk to you, and want you." He's still looking in my eyes. "I don't know why, but you're guarded and scared. If you need time, I'll wait. I'd love to be your first for something. I'd even love to be the first guy you run to and breakdown crying about anything." I take a deep breath and sigh, turning away from him as I drop my arms to my sides. Nick grabs my hand, interlocking our fingers. "Let's walk to this place I know near here. We can sit and talk. Or are you hungry?"

"Can we get something to go?"

He chuckles softly. "We can." He rubs his thumb on the back of my hand, brings my hand to his mouth and softly kisses the heel of my palm by my wrist, looking into my eyes. "We're just a block away from this little cafe that has some good stuffed waffles." He smiles, nodding.

"Ok."

"Jazz, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."
"Dont get mad, but what do you have to be afraid of that keeps you from letting yourself open up to me?"

"I'm afraid of being hurt, having my heart broken, having the guy tell me he doesn't love me, having him walk away, and afraid to tell him everything about me."

"I don't think that I could walk away from you with a cold heart, I'll always love you in some sense of the word, I'll try not to break your heart, I'll try my hardest not to hurt you, and knowing everything about you should make the bond between real friends and a good guy for you much stronger."

"What do you expect to happen between us?"
"Friendship, trust, confidence, love, laughter, memories."

"You don't expect there to be a relationship or anything like that?"

"Not at all. I don't even expect a kiss. A hug, I do expect today. I don't know what to expect. Howie told me to be myself, Kevin said to be honest, Brian said to tell you what I'm thinking, and AJ told me to impress you."

"Is AJ more concerned with getting laid?"
Nick laughs. "He pretty much is. But I don't wanna be him. I wanna be myself. I want to let you in my life. You're two of my sisters' best friend, my little brother's taping victim, my mom tells me not to scare you away, my dad loves you, my grandma says you're a sweet girl and my grandpa says if I let you get away, he's never gonna let me forget it. Most of my cousins love you. My best friend, Brent, says if I don't get you, he's gonna try."

"I've met bits and pieces of your family. I haven't met Brent other than in passing. I try to spend every weekend at your family's house."

"My mom tells me that you baby sit Sunday through Thursday nights and that you save your money. My dad says you maintain A- averages in everyone of your classes and you took two weeks' worth of work with you out here."

"Yeah, but none of it is due until the end of the month."
"How'd you manage that?"

"I'm ahead in all my classes."

"Didn't you start a month ago?"

"Yeah."

We stop in front of this little bistro cafe. "What fruit do you want inside?"

"Strawberries please."

"So that means in four weeks' time, you've done six weeks worth of work?"

"That's right."

Nick and I walk up to the counter. I look at Derek and he shrugs. Nick faces Derek. "Hungry, man?"
"A little bit."

"What fruit inside?"

"Peaches."

I smile, trying not to laugh and Nick wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to him. "Can I please have 3 dishes of stuffed waffles?"

The waitress looks at Nick. I speak up, annoyed. "Miss, excuse me."

She looks at me. "I'm sorry. He looks familiar."
"I bet he does. Could we please have 3 stuffed waffles?"

"Sure. What fruit would you like in them?"

"Peaches for the big guy, strawberries for me, and-"

Nick smiles. "I'll have bananas in mine."

"They'll be done in about 15 minutes." She tells us the cost and I pay for it.

"I would've paid."
"Nick, stop."

He puts his hands up like he's surrendering. "So, why is it you wanted to get out of the hotel before anybody else saw me?"

"JC would've blown a gasket, Andi would've kicked your ass, Justin, Chris and Joey would've pranked you and Lance, I have NO clue what he'd do."

"Who do you call 'Daddy C'?"

"JC."

"So he's kinda like Kevin." Nick nods. "What's it like bunking with them?"

I roll my eyes and shake my head. "Let's not go there."

"That bad?"

"I am sometimes and I don't wanna talk about that. Right, D?"

I look at Derek and see his eyes go wide. "If you don't tell him, you know he's gonna find out."

I sigh. "Ok, D. I'll tell you when we get to this place you're talking about."

"It's a ten minute walk from here." Nick smiles and rubs my arm. "Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer if you don't wanna."

"Ask."

"Would you, in a few years maybe, be able to see us together?"

"I live day to day."

He smiles and kisses my forehead. "Thanks for being honest."

The waitress hands Nick the bag and we leave. My mind is reeling as I think about Nick, James, my fears and weighing the options concerning my heart. Just before we get to the top of this beautiful hill over looking a beautiful cove, my cell phone rings. "Hello?"

"Where are you?"

I close my eyes and sigh. "I'm safe and Derek is with me."

"Lance said he heard you talking to someone right outside the hotel room door, a guy."

"Don't fucking worry about it. I'm sure Derek can handle anything that may put me in danger. Right, D?"

"That's right, Baby J Girl."

I hear JC sigh. "YOU'RE MY RESPONSIBILITY! You don't get it, do you? If anything happens to you out here, I'M to fucking blame!!!"

"JOSHUA! I'm nowhere near anything that tempts me to do something like last night."

"SAMANTHA MARILYN CHARPENTIER!!! GET BACK HERE NOW!!"
"WHO IN THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?"

He is silent for a minute, probably shocked I reacted the way I did. "I thought that, but, I just..." JC sighs. I can imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose or running his thumb and finger over his eyebrows, frustrated. "I guess I'm just trying to say that I'm worried and I'm your guardian while you're here to see us."

"Josh, you're technically right here with me and you KNOW that Derek would tell you if I did anything out of line. I may be 14, but keep in mind that I've been taking care of alot on my own since I was 9." Nick looks at me like 'what do you mean?' I wave him off, planning on telling him when I get off the phone with JC.

"I know. It just scared me to death to hear from Lance that you took off, didn't tell me, and with a guy."

"JC, Derek is with me and I will gladly tell you who I'm with when I get back and he drops me off."

"Are you in a car?"

"No, we're on foot."

"How far are you from the hotel?"

"Less than five blocks."

"Jazz, how far are you from the hotel?"

"About 3 1/2 blocks."

He sighs on his end of the line. "Do you know when you're coming back?"

"No, I don't, Daddy C."

"I just dont want you getting hurt or doing anything stupid, like last night."

"I'm not always gonna do shit like that."

"I don't know, Jazz. I mean you have your moments of weakness and yout stronger times. You're just not very good at balancing it."
"I know. I have mostly good days and I just really need everyone to understand that I need help finding that balance. I don't need to be controlled, but guided. I push buttons to see my limits. I've figured out my boundaries with you now." Nick, Derek and I sit against a rockface on the 'beach' part, looking out over the water.

"Have you eaten?"

"I'm about to."

"I guess I can let you go, just so you can eat."

"Thanks. We'll talk later?"

"Like you wouldn't believe." He hangs up.

I tell Nick about the night before and he hugs me with one arm. I grab my stuffed waffles and look at them. "Try em, Jazzabee."

"Did you just call me 'Jazzabee?"

"Yes, now try them."

I look at my waffles and smile as I cut them open. I take a bite and subconsciously let out a low moan. Derek has one comment about that-"I don't want to hear that sound pass your lips for any reason but food until you're sixteen."

I turn beet red and playfully swat him. "Derek!"

Nick leans across me, smiling at Derek. I have a strange feeling he's about to be facetious. "Would you be mad if I popped it when she's fifteen?"

"Depends on the circumstances."

I'm not only mortified, but shocked by the discussion they're having about me while I'm sitting right between them. "Nick! Derek!"

They smile at each other and continue eating. A few minutes pass before Nick starts to ask me questions, wanting to get to know me better. "So, if you could bring back one male celebrity from the dead, who and why?"

Without missing a beat, he gets his answer. "Brandon Lee."

"Why?"

"Beautiful mind, beautiful body, and let him live a long life."

"I know that, but why would you want him to live again and in your life?"

"Learn self defense and learn wisdom. Spend time learning his mind."

I finally realize Nick has a bookbag next to him and that we're sitting on a blanket. Nick smiles. "I always come prepared for a cold day in places like this. I planned this part out. This part and then I got stumped."

I realize how cold it is and keep eating as I shiver, trying not to bitch. I also notice Nick's wearing a Starter jacket (Dolphins of course). "JC-1, me-zip."

Derek smiles. "Rushed out so fast, you forgot your jacket." He chuckles and I lightly elbow him in the side.

"Sh-sh-shut up, D."

Nick hands me his coat and pulls another one from his bag. "Like I said I come prepared. Wear it, it's warm." I look at it for a second and put it on. I watch him put the other Starter jacket on (Orlando Magic), smiling at me after he sits back. "Warmer?" He laughs.

"Yes, thank you. Did you think I'd do something like that?"

"I though it might be a possibility. I understand the whole-" Heis cell rings, looks at it, rolls his eyes and looks at me. "Excuse me." He answers it. "Hello? I'm fine, Kevin. I'm in, uh, Ireland." He pulls the phone away from his ear and winces as I hear a deep voice scream 'what'. "Kevin, I'll be back there by tomorrow, around 2. Don't involve Fatima. I will be back by 2. My flight leaves here at 9, I land in London by noon and the travel time by cab is about half an hour. I have today to spend here with a friend. Well, um, what gave that away? I cleared it with Johnny last night before I booked the tickets. Yes. No. Why? Fine." Nick holds his cell out to me, smiling gently. "Kevin wants to talk to you."

I take it, covering the mic. "Why?"

"To make sure it's you."

I start to shiver again and Nick puts his very warm hands on my cheeks as I put the phone to my ear. "Hello?"

"Who are you?"

"Jazzy. You are?"
"Kevin. Nick usually tells me where he's going. Wait, aren't you in Orlando?"

"Actually, I'm on vacation with some friends, traveling for the next 9 days."

"What friends? *NSYNC?" I hear him trying not to laugh at his little joke.

"Believe it or not, yes."

"Right. Let me talk to a member of their security staff."

"Derek, he doesn't believe me." I hand him the phone and cuddle up to Nick for warmth.

Derek takes it and starts talking with Kevin. "Yes, I am. Call Johnny and ask him about my position. Ask him about Baby J Girl while you're at it. I will and tell my cousin I said hi. That's right, he's my cousin. Believe it. Bye." He hangs up and hands it back to Nick.

He puts it in his jacket pocket. "Warm?"

"Yeah, thanks. I should be used to this weather! Ugh." I hang my head, just a little frustrated.

"You've been in Orlando for a month. It rubs off pretty quick. At least you wore jeans," he gently points out.

"Along with 3 freaking shirts. I'm usually more warm blooded than this." I shake my head. "Is London colder?"
"No, it's as cold as it is here. I have to leave in the morning. Do you know your next stop on this crazy trip of yours?"

I look at him and laugh. "Of course not. I'm told day to day plans." I take another bite of the cream cheese and strawberry filled waffles, loving the texture and enjoying the flavor. "I'd have to call James to find out and I just wanna avoid him as much as I can."

"Why's that?"

"Last night-"

"Night before last, Baby J Girl," Derek corrects me.

"Like he said," I say pointing to Derek. "The guys, Andi and the security staff took me out to a club. It was my first time and I snuck sips of the older guys' drinks, got pretty wasted and pretty wile. I was gring James and letting Justin grind on me, kissing me. By the time we left, I was so drunk that poor D here, had to help me walk from the club. We got about halfway to the bus before he asked Josh if I was the one he had to look out for. I got in hot water and my guess is that he's still fuming and worried. Probably scared outta his mind. I know he's just being protective of me because he's my guardian out here and that he cares."

Nick looks at me, obviously surprised. "Wow. I won't tell anyone. Not my business or place to do that."

"You never said what female celebrity you'd bring back from the dead or why."

"Marilyn Monroe, to reteach the world how to love their bodies as they are."

"Wasn't she like a size 12?"

"Depending on who made it, I think she was between a 10 and a 14."

"I would love to learn how to make all my clothes look good on me from her."
"You look beautiful, no matter what you wear."
I scratch the back of my head. "You really think so?"

"Yeah, I do. It's the truth. I bet I can get a few locals to agree."

I shake my head. "I believe you."

Derek whispers in my ear, "Do you always believe strangers if they're cute boys?"

I whip my head to look at him. "Derek! No, I don't. My friends just happen to mainly be cute guys."

 Derek laughs as I try to take the last bite of my waffle and realize I'm full, I can't eat it. "You want the last bite, Nick?"

"You sure?" He smiles at me and I smile back, nodding. "Please?" I feed it to him, teasing him at first. When I finally let it pass his lips, he smiles and hugs me until he swallows. "Thanks, Jazz."

"For what?" I'm sitting next to him, my head on the edge of his chest to keep warm.

"For spending time with me, not caring about what I am, for treating me like I'm normal."

I look up at him. "You are normal, my friend and I like the time we have to spend getting to know each other."

He nods and looks across the cove, rubbing my arm. "I love your take on me."
I shrug. "It's the truth, Nicky. I don't even listen to the music you make, not by choice."
He laughs. "What do you listen to?"

"Usher, Aaliyah, 112, Bon Jovi, real music. Not the bubblegum bullshit."

"Me either. I make it, but I don't like the music I make."
"Then why make it?"
"It's what Lou and Johnny said to make. We just do what we're told and get paid. JC and the rest of them have to do the same thing too."
I make a face and shake my head. "Can I get your opinion on something?"
"Sure."
"What do you think we're gonna be like if we do get together?"

I'm watching his facial expression go from laughing to thinking. "If we do start seeing each other, I hope we're happy, laughing, being true to each other. Faithful to one another is a huge thing. Honest, ourselves, independent but always happy to spend time together. Supportive and understanding. It's what I want and wish for." He looks at me with a sense of peace in his eyes.
"Me, too."

We sit there, absorbing and understanding that we want the same thing from a relationship, looking across the cove. Nick rubs my arm after a little while. "Let's go somewhere warm."
I smile, get up and help him pack the blanket into the bag. "Somewhere that has Mountain Dew?"

"I think I know a place that has that soda." He swings the bag onto his shoulder and takes my hand, guiding me to the street. "The cove is beautiful during the summer."
"I bet. Warm place?"

He turns, pulling me closer to his body, and we walk side by side to a small restaurant and sit in a middle booth. I slide in one side, Nick sits next to me and Derek sits across from us. Nick whispers in my ear and I laugh. I tell Nick a secret and he smiles as the waitress comes up. We order two Mountain Dews and a Pepsi. We go back to whispering in each other's ears with Derek watching us. "Should I be concerned about you two whispering?"
I look at Derek. "Not unless you're related to Nick and going on ten at the end of the year." Derek smiles and nods.

We go back to whispering and laughing, becoming so entranced that we don't know our sodas were brought over. The waitress comes back over and asks what we'd like to eat. It's been about an hour since we ate. Nick and I decline, but Derek being his bottomless pit self orders some corn beef and cabbage. Nick looks at him like it's gross. "What is that?"
I smile and whisper in his ear. "It's good. My mom and I make it and it's soo good," I tell him as I pull away from him.

"Really?"
"I'll make it for you." I take a sip of my drink and smile. "What's it like to be a singer?"
"Crazy. Always recording, rehearsing, performing, doing interviews, photo shoots, appearances and signing autographs. Video shoots can be fun sometimes."
"Sounds kinda all work and close to no fun."
"It can be."
"What do you know that I haven't read about dolphins?"

He goes from blah to happy and very animated after I asked about dolphins, both of us smiling. He talks very fast and uses his hands to accentuate quite a bit of what he says. He uses some experiences as examples, telling stories and we laugh about most of the things he says. After a few minutes he starts talking about his family. I tell him things that I've talked about with his parents and siblings, how I've tickled Aaron every time he's annoyed me, and what's been going on at his house in the past month. "Your brother can be so annoying sometimes."

"Trust me, I know," he tells me, widening his eyes in a comical way. "I've only known him and Angel since they were conceived. How's BJ been?"
"She's good. I think she might have a boyfriend or crush."
"Really?"

"I'm not sure, so don't quote me."
"What about Leslie?"
"Les is doing great. She's been telling me about how the work is easier since I showed her how I study. Her teachers have been writing positive notes to your parents for the past month and her grades are getting better."

"That's awesome! I'm proud of her. I knew she could do it. What about Aaron and Angel?"
"I help Aaron study over the phone and Angel's grades are still in the A/B range. Aaron's grades have gotten better. Not as much as Leslie's, but he should have a B in everything by the end of the year. I have to call them tonight."

"How far did they drop?"
"They were at low C's when they got their report cards. Bobbie's grades were the same as Angel's. Leslie has gone from low C's to high Bs and low As. Aaron just needs more one on one attention and more patience than your sisters. He needs five times more encouragement than they do and I know he has a short attention span."

"Thanks for helping AC, Jazz. Thanks for being there for them. I think you deserve a vacation this summer. I have to talk to Johnny, my mom and your mom first."
"What about the other guys in the group?"

He rolls his eyes. "Them too. My mom and Aaron will be with us on this tour. It's a promotional tour in the US."

"I think my mom will wanna meet the five of you and the security staff before deciding." We continue talking about the tour for the next couple hours, order some mac and cheese and continue to talk as we eat our lunch. He starts to tell jokes, making sure my mouth is empty.
"I really don't wanna go back to London tomorrow."
"Why?"

"I'm having too much fun with you."
"I'm sorry to tell you, but ya gotta go do your thing."
"It's gonna suck when I go back."

"We only have 9 days before we go home. It might be a day or two after that before we hang out again. It's not gonna suck as bad as you think. We can call and text each other. We can still talk between tomorrow morning and the next time we can hang out."
I lean back against the wall with one leg bent on the seat, sitting sideways and watch Nick smile. "I know you're right, but I know I'm gonna miss you."
"Distance makes the heart fonder. I'll miss you but we'll make it."
He smirks. "I might just go crazy by then."

I can't help but laugh after hearing him say that. When I can stop laughing, I manage to tell Nick, "You've been crazy since you were given Aaron as a brother and having three sisters!"
We talk about the guys in his group vs the guys in *NSYNC, laughing at the pranks Justin and Nick pull on everyone, Andi, me, Nick and somehow we get back to the topic of the tour coming up in June. "It goes from June till December. That's the only downfall to it. I have a song I want to do, but I have to record and write it first."

"I could help with writing it."
"I don't know how to write it down, how to word it."
"Maybe try writing it like a letter to that person."

He thinks for a minute, grabs a notebook and pencil from his bag, writes something down in a frenzy and pushes the notebook to me. "Read it. That's what I wanna do for the homecoming concert in Orlando in December. I want you there to hear it."
I take the notebook and read it. "I'll be there anyway. When do tickets go on sale?"
"Why?"
"Moral support. I support my friends."

He smiles the biggest smile I have ever seen. "Thanks. They go on sale in August. I'll talk to Johnny about it."
We spend another hour at the little shop before we head back to the hotel. I know JC is going to freak out, chew me out and let me know what I can and can't do while I'm here. I get back in my hotel room and find out that Andi got homesick. She went back home to her dad, she missed him so much. She is actually the best person to confide in and I trust her more than JC, but I don't want to burden her with my demons. I hug Nick as we get near my room. I open the door and nobody's even there. I start on my homework, laying books and notebooks on the bed.

I get up and shower, thinking about yesterday. Why would Lance be happy for me? I thought he wanted-whatever, best not to dwell on it. I get to go shopping with the guys before rehearsal, where I get to either sit and watch or help Lance. My cell phone starts to ring loudly as I get dressed and I barely get to my phone before it goes to voicemail. "Hello?"
"Morning, beautiful."
I smile and hear JC get up. "Hey. You leaving later?"
"Johnny says we leave in 3 hours, you wanna hang out in the room and relax?"
"Lemme check with Daddy C." I go to the door that connects our rooms and stand in the doorway, leaning on the jamb. "Daddy C, when are we heading out?"
"In an hour." I frown and drop my eyes. "Spend it with him, go. 503. Go, go, go!" he commands me, shooing me out.
"JC, says we have an hour."
"Cool. Safe to assume I have to keep the door between my room and B-Rok's open?"
"Yes, you know his rules."
I can hear the happiness in his voice as he knocks on the door that makes his and Brian's adjoining. He informs Brian and tells me it's all set. We hang up as I knock on the door to his room. "Hello, beautiful," he greets me with a smile on his face.

"You're such a nerd, Nick," I tell him as I come into his room. We talk and plan our first day in Orlando together, laughing. "Then, my cousin's supposed to come visit for a week." I roll my eyes thinking of Darren.
"That's after we get home?"
"Yeah, he's stopping by the weekend after we get back. It's gonna be so mundane. I'm gonna look so forward to my weekends!"

Nick laughs, tossing his head back until he's hit on the head with a balled up sock. It's my turn to laugh as AJ stands in the doorway, smiling innocently. "You aren't half as innocent as you portray."
"Neither are you. What's up, girl?"
"Just hanging with Nick till I head out with the boys."
"We're the Boys, find something else to call them," he says, scowling as he defends the title.
"Ok, you're the Boys and they're the guys. Better, Alex?"
He smiles victoriously. "Yes, much better. Touring with you is going to be interesting."
I toss my head back and giggle. "Hopefully, not too interesting."
He shrugs and raises his eyebrows. "We'll find out soon enough."
"Yeah, we will." I nod at AJ and he walks away to talk to Brian. Turning my attention back to Nick, I smile. "Darren says he wants me to go back to his house for spring break."
"How far away are you going to be?"
"Bouncing between Ellisville and Clinton, Mississippi. I haven't been there since August. I miss James."
"I thought you were here with a James."
"That's Lance. I haven't spoken about Mississippi to anyone yet. Only Darren, Sherri and Dawn know about it. Dawn and Sherri's families moved to Massachusetts when I was seven. Dawn doesn't remember home. Sherri and I do."
"So, Mississippi is home to you?"
"Mississippi is my real home, where my heart will always be. I'm from there and it's where I belong. I've lived in Massachusetts since I was ten and Ma got a promotion to move to Orlando. She took it and that's how I met the guys. They came out here for a promo tour, JC's family went to the beach in Tampa and I met your family. Now two of your sisters are my best friends and your only brother terrorizes me with a video camera."
"Wow. Now we're friends."

"Yeah." My cell rings. "Hello?"
"Let's go."
"Has been an hour already?"
"In two minutes, yes."
"Alright, meet you by your door, JC," I say, feeling jipped and defeated. "I gotta go, it's been an hour."
Nick and I stand up and hug, knowing we'll see each other in a few days. He smiles at me. "I'll call you when we land."
"Alright," I answer, nodding. "I'm gonna miss you."
"I'm gonna miss you too." He smiles and hugs me one last time as I leave. I inhale his scent, letting the smell of Irish Springs and ocean breeze fill my nose. I let it become intoxicating to my senses. I wave bye to Nick and jog down the hall to JC's door. Just as I get to his door, I turn around and wave at Nick as he stands in the hallway. After walking a few steps backwards, I bump into someone. "You should be watching where you walk, Baby J."

I smile and spin around to give Lance a hug. "Hi, James."
"Morning. Ready to go?"
"As ready as can be expected."
"Just have to-"
JC opens the door. "Let's go."
"That makes it easier."
I hug JC, silently thanking him for letting me see Nick before we leave. Justin, Joey and Chris come over and I hug them, greeting them. "Timbs, can I get a piggy back ride, please?"
"Sure," he tells me as he turns around and crouches down so I can climb on his back. He bounces, placing me on his back a little better. "All set?"
"Nice and comfy."
"Lance says we're going to the museum, lunch and then rehearsals."
"Can we get pancakes to go?"
"Sure. We can stop by the restaurant downstairs. What do you want for them?"
"Strawberry preserves."
Lance and JC shrug, not caring as long as I eat something. "How many?"
"Five." The guys and security look at me like I'm crazy. "What? I'm hungry!" My Mississippi drawl slipping from my lips as I say 'hungry'.
"You're from Mississippi?" Lance questions.
"Yep," I announce proudly.
"So am I."
"Coolness."
Chris claps his hands together. "Two Mississippians for me to harass."
I give Chris the puppy dog eyes. "I'm having a good day, please don't," I request, making him sigh in defeat.

Once we get in the van, Lance hands me a booklet as he smiles and tells me to pick one. I flip through it and see Shakespeare's Globe Theatre museum. I lean over the seat in front of me, putting the brochure on his shoulder as I point to the museum. "This one, James. Shakespeare's Globe Theatre. I love his work!"
He smiles as he quickly nods, telling Lonnie the address and showing him the brochure. He sits back as Lonnie and Derek look back at me. "You got it," Lonnie tells me.
We get there and my inner nerd appears, telling the guys about my knowledge of Shakespeare-from his life, to his work and back in his day ALL the actors were male, even for the female parts for the next three hours. We even acted out bits and pieces of his plays that we remembered off the top of our heads. Justin and I goofing off with the Romeo & Juliet scenes we could recall. JC even got involved, making the other guys and security laugh hysterically. The three of us even had the museum staff laughing. We leave the museum in fits of giggles and laughter to grab lunch on our way to rehearsal. Justin and JC can't look at me without laughing like hyenas, and I can't look at the two of them without bursting with giggles and uncontrollable laughter. We tried not to say anything or look at each other during the twenty minute ride to a pizza & pasta shop for lunch, but it was so fucking hard. We ordered our food and tried not to burst out laughing, probably annoying Lonnie or Mike. We didn't care and Darren (Henson) was irritated in the first ten minutes of us being at the arena, none of us blame him either because our incessant laughter over a simple look or what seemed to be nothing would annoy us if it were someone else. He finally snaps on us. "What is so damn funny that you have to burst into uncontrollable and unpredictable laughing fits?"
I stop laughing just long enough to explain. "We went to Shakespeare's Globe Theatre museum, my inner nerd made an appearance, and we goofed off. We reenacted some of the plays he wrote and performed, making them funny and just making everyone laugh."

He shakes his head. "I need to see one of these, I might understand why it's so funny."
JC, Justin and I huddle and choose to do the scenes where Romeo and Juliet almost get caught kissing by her cousin, the balcony scene and the suicides. Darren starts laughing in the middle of the balcony scene. "I do understand why and what's so funny," he manages to blurt out between laughing fits. 
"Now you see why the museum staff were holding their sides by the time we left. We even had Lonnie crying from laughing so hard."
"Mike and Derek were BEGGING us to stop because their sides hurt from laughing so much!"
"Can it, Curly, or I'll kick your ass. Screw that, I'll let the fans get you."
Justin smiles that evil ass smile. "You were hired to protect me!"
"You slipped past me."
"I will kill you in your sleep!"
"You're as sneaky as JC isn't the best sleeper of the five of you."
Justin growls and the rest of us laugh at his annoyance for lack of a comeback. Darren chuckles to himself. "Finish eating. 20 minutes before we start rehearsal."

We eat in silence, the guys finish and start rehearsal and I watch Lance to spot slip ups that he may need help with. I see a handful of them and step into my place next to him, helping him work out the kinks. Making him remember to have fun while he performs is what I'm good at.

They start getting ready to wind down before they perform and I start talking with Lance, my head on his thigh. "I was shocked to find out you're happy for me liking him."
"You're happy, I'm happy. You said you're from Mississippi. What part?"
"Ellisville and Clinton."
"Those are small towns. You look familiar."
"James." 
"I know, I might be going out of my mind."
"What? James, what are you talking about?" My curiosity has been sparked.
"Well, I remember this girl who is my best friend, Darren's, little cousin."
"I'd remember someone as sweet as you."
"Maybe we weren't in the same area at the same time, forget I brought it up. What about the school work? You almost done?"
"It's done."
"Wow, that's good."
"Yes. Finished my math work last night."
He nods. "Now you have a few days to have fun."

Justin comes up to us. "One of you has to play with me."
"Play what?" I'm curious, so I take the bait.
"A Sega game."
"Which one?"
"Mortal Kombat."
I roll off the couch, landing on my hands and knees with a mischievous smirk plastered on my face. "Alright, I'm game."
I take the other controller and pick Mileena from the line up. Lance sits back and casually voices his one concern, "He cheats."
I'm unfazed by this tidbit of information. "I'll still win. Ask Tyler. He cheats too and I still whooped his butt."
Soon enough, JC, Joey and Chris had also huddled around to watch me as I beat Justin's Tennessee ass with seven different characters. I beat him with Mileena, Sonya, Jade, Baraka, Reptile, Kitana and Sub-Zero, each time he whined that I was cheating because I could do the special moves and fatalities. I play this game with my cousin all the time and I had to learn to play to beat him at his own game. "Cheating doesn't ensure victory, practice or playing people who don't know a game as well as you does," I inform them as Lonnie and Mike come in to get them for wardrobe.
Lonnie speaks up after watching the last battle. "Come on, guys, you have to get ready."
"Aw, c'mon, Lonnie! Just one more time! Lemme kick his ass on the game one last time!"
He shakes his head. "Sorry, they have to get ready."
I cross my arms over my chest and sit back against Lance's legs, putting my head back to look at him.
Lance shrugs and smiles, patting my cheek. "We have to work."
"Can I crash the stage?" I ask security and the guys, knowing the majority rules answer. Security, JC, and Lance say no while Justin, Joey and Chris say yes. "It's fine, I'll just call my cousin back in Mississippi." Lance's eyebrow arches in curiosity as they head out of the game room. I wait a few minutes before pulling out my cell and dialing the number I've had painstakingly memorized by heart three years ago.

"Hello?" a smooth male voice said with a heavy down home drawl.
"Just me."
"Sam, how are you holding up?"
"Good. Miss me, 'Renny?"
"Meet anyone new since moving there?"
"Yeah, but one has the familiar vibe. I have the feeling like Lance knows me."
"I don't know anyone with such a ridiculous first name."
"Whatever. I met this boy, his name is Nick. I like him."
Immediately, he blurts out, "Don't do it," laughing afterwards.
"I'm not rushing it, 'Renny. I'm gonna wait till this summer if we do get together." I describe Nick and how he is.
"He sounds like he's good for you and you for him. You know I'm coming out to Orlando the weekend after you get back."
"Ma told you, huh?"
"You know Aunt Vikki can't keep that kind of thing from us, I pester her till she spills it."
"Yeah, I miss home."
"April break is soon and you'll be home. We miss you."
"You miss me, 'Renny?"
"Eh, a little, but don't tell anyone that may know me."
We laugh. "How long has it been since I've come home?"
"Six months as of the end of this month, it'll be seven and a week when you come out again."
I lay on the couch and close my eyes. "How's gran?"
"Gran is as good as can be. She just turned 67 and can still keep up the babies."
"I miss the babies. I miss gran. I miss everyone back home."
The only benefit of having a cousin in high school who has his car and license is he gets out at 1:30 and home by 1:50 in the afternoon. "I'mma letcha go. I've had a busy day and took a whole bunch of pictures for everyone to see."
"Ok, later, Sam."
We hang up and I start thinking about going back home. I go back to Orlando in six days... I doze off and sometime after that I feel someone move me and tell me it's ok, just sleep. Sounds like Justin or Lance. I trust them and do as they say, curling my body toward theirs.

I've been impatiently waiting to go back home and that'd be today. "You still need me to talk you down from freaking out just before a flight?"
"Um, yeah, kinda. It has to deal with heights!"
"Jazz, you need to get over this, it's getting old and it's how we do most of our traveling."
"Other than bus!"
"Why are you so scared of heights?"
"My cousins used to hang me upside down when I was like 3 as high as they could and threatened to drop me on my head," I inform him, embarrassed.
"I'm sorry that your cousins were assholes, but come on."
"JOSHUA!!! I could use your support right now," I whine.
"I'm sorry," he says, fighting back laughter.
"Gaaaaaahhhhhhh! Stop laughing! I am gonna deck you when you see me again," I hiss over the phone to him.
"Don't you mean you're going to deck me when you see me again?"
"No, I want you to see it coming, meaning I want you to see me before I deck you."
"Sensitive, aren't we?"
"Assholish, aren't we?"
"Ok, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have laughed at that. You do need to get used to it though, it is how we do alot of traveling between places. You seemed fine when you weren't alone."
"I was distracted by whoever I was flying with," I honestly admit.
"Ok, we will work on it. So, how's the homework coming along?"
"Well, I have three math assignments left to finish in the next three weeks."
"Good, I'm proud of you. How upset is Tyler?"
"Not at all because I've been helping him."
"That's cool. When does the flight leave?"
"A couple m-"

"Flight 219 to Orlando, Florida. All passengers begin boarding."
"That's you. You'll be fine, you'll land safe, and you're calling me when you land. Hear from you soon, Baby J."
"O-ok," I nervously agree. I board the plane and put my headphones on. I listen to Boyz II Men's 'II' during the whole flight from when I sat down and buckled up until the stewardess said we could get off the plane. I find my luggage and head for Roy and Karen. 
It's only 9:43 in the morning, meaning Tyler and Heather were in school. I would be staying at the Chasezs' until Friday, when AJ would pick me up from here to go to his house for the weekend. We would be driving to Tampa on Monday morning so that Nick and his family spend time together. 

I hug them both. "I missed you."
"We missed you too," Karen says.
Roy grabs my two small bags and smiles. "You packed light, I see."
"Yeah, I did this time." The reason I barely stay home is that Ma is always gone, she had gotten a second job while I was in Orlando for the five weeks between Europe and home. She wants to put extra money away to pay for my college, so I let her live vicariously through me for now. I'm not even sure I want to go to college, I might just want to tour between the Boys and the guys to see the world. "I have to call Josh," I tell them. They nod and I dial the familiar number.

"Hello?"
"I hope you know that I hate when you're right sometimes."
"Oh, well. At least you're alright."
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
"I'll let the other four guys know you landed safe and sound in Orlando. Make sure to call them tonight."
"I'm sure your parents would be happy to remind me to call the five of you."
They nod in response. "I have no doubt they would be," he teases before allowing himself to chuckle.
"Thanks for the pep talk," I admit.
"You're welcome. You'll get better at flying, eventually."
"Talk to you later tonight."
"Bye."

I call Nick and it rings four times. "Uhn?"
"Mornin', sleepy Icky."
"Morning, beautiful Jazzabee."
"I'm in Orlando."
"Cool. We can hang out later. Can you call me around 11? I'll get up and we can go somewhere. We have today off," he willingly indulges to me.
"Ok, do you have anything in mind?"
"A couple things."
"I missed you."
"Missed you too."
"Talk to you in an hour."
"Yeah."
"Later."
"Later." 

I hang up, a smile on my lips. "You seem happier since talking to that 'Icky' kid," Roy observes.
"Yeah, he makes me smile," I divulge.
"When do we meet him?"
"Friday, I hope. Unless he wants to meet up today."
"We are taking care of you."
"I know. I'll see if he'll meet you today."

We get back to the Chasez house and I bring my two bags in Josh's old room (mwahahahahahahahaha!) before letting Karen know that I'd be in the hammock. "You need to relax, I swear the couple weeks you spent following the boys around has affected your life."
"I graduate from middle school with Tyler in three weeks, so I guess so."
"You are over ambitious and out of your mind motivated," she calls after me.
"I learned it from your oldest!" I yell back.
I climb in the hammock and Justin texts me. 'Whatcha doing?'
'Just laying in the Chasezs' backyard on the hammock'
'I miss talking to you'
'Same here' Should I rephrase that? Nah!
'You miss talking to yourself? Haha'
'No, to you guys, smarty pants'
'Awww. How long have you been back?'
'About two hours.'
'You ever go home?'
'Not really, Ma's only there long enough to shower and sleep.'
'Where do you stay?'
'Between the Boys' houses, the Chasez house and Bev's'
'That's why Chris' baby sister says Zee'
'Yeah, she calls me Zee'
'What about Nick?'
I smile and shake my head. 'What about him?'
'Anything new?'
'No, still friends'
'Oh, that's cool'
'J-Dog, you're cool, sweet and funny...but not happening'
'Worth a try. Hahaha. I hate interview days'
'I do too'
'I miss hearing your laugh' I scroll through the contacts, highlight Justin's name and press 'send'. Three rings. "Thanks for keeping your word."

"You said you miss hearin' my laugh, make me laugh," I barter.
He recalls the whole Globe Theatre incident and I crack up. "I miss being able to hear you laugh."
"I miss your corny jokes."
"I miss hearing you bitch at me about being hungry." Obviously, I'm not going to be allowed to forget that.
"I miss telling jokes that confuse Josh."
"We still do that, wishing you could be here."
"You're so sweet," I pretend to swoon.
"It comes naturally."
We laugh and he says he has to go because they have to go on tv for another interview. "I miss you guys."
"We miss you too. Don't go being a stranger."
"I won't. Later."
"Bye."

I hang up and begin swinging in the hammock, making sure to set the alarm on my phone for 10:55a so I can wake Nick at 11. I had a feeling that I would fall asleep, you probably know how bad jet lag can be. My phone scared the shit outta me when the alarm went off. I yawn and stretch, trying not to fall out of the hammock while doing it. I look around and smile, thinking of what Nick and I could do today. "Mmm?"
"Morning, Icky."
"It's 'leven?"
"Yeah. "
I hear him yawn and groan, most likely stretching out. "Is there anyway I can convince you to give me a few more minutes of sleep?"
"Nuh uh. Uppa uppa up, Nick. You said you had an idea of what we could do together today."
"Oh, I did?" he asks, teasingly.
"Nickolas, can you get up, please? I wanna hang out with my friend from Tampa who came back to the Sunshine State a couple months ago."
"I wonder who you could mean? I wanna hang with my friend who just came back from Mississippi this morning," he says, going along with the game.
"I mean you and I just came back from Mississippi this morning," I tell him, yawning.
"Sounds like you need to get over some jet lag."
"Jet lag, smet smag! I wanna hang out with you." 
"Alright, alright, I'm getting up. Give me twenty minutes to shower and leave. What's the address I'm picking you up?"
I ramble off the address as if it were my own, without a second thought. "How long until you get here?"
"Hold on a sec?"
"Sure."
"AJ, could I borrow the car?"
"Fuck it up, I fuck you up," AJ warns.
"I won't, thanks. Within half an hour."
"Um..."
"What's up?"
"Can you stop in to meet Josh's parents?"
"For a few minutes, yeah."
"Thanks."
"No biggie."

I hang up, run in the house and call out for Karen and Roy. "What do you need, sweetie?"
"Nick said he'd stop in for a few to meet you," I tell her excitedly.
"That's probably because he likes you."
"Why does everyone say that?"
"Might be because everyone sees it."
"I don't know if he likes me more than a friend."
"Even if you're not sure of it, people around you two can tell how much he likes you."
"I think everyone that does see it or know, like Josh and Nick, are talking in tongues. Why do boys talk in code?"
"To confuse us, Jazz."
"Ugh!"
"We also talk in code."
"How come I don't know any of it?"
"Because you haven't learned any from the girls you spend time with and talk to."

I groan and roll my eyes, heading for the hammock again. I'm so frustrated by people that talk in code around me because I don't understand what they're saying or what they mean or even what they're talking about! My cell beeps and a text comes in from Nick. 'Can you wait out front and let me know what you're wearing?'
'Sure. I'm wearing a Buccaneers jersey and dark blue flare jeans. Wearing black, silver and blue Reeboks.'
'I have AJ's black Ford Explorer'
'What year?'
'A 93, I think'
I think for a minute and remember what a 93 Ford Explorer looks like as I head to sit in the front yard. 'I'm out front and waiting for you to get here so we can go hang out'

I sit down, leaning back on my hands and relaxing in the sun. I enjoy the time I sit out front and wait for him to get here. I get lost in my thoughts about what he may have planned. "Hey, beautiful," I hear beside me.
I look to my right and there's Nick, sitting with his legs pulled to his body with his arms resting on them. "Hey, you." A smile takes over my mouth.
"You said something about meeting your friend's parents. Ready when you are."
He stands up and reaches out to help me up. I lead him into the Chasezs' house, pulling him by his hand. "Karen! Roy! Nick's here!" I call out, giddy about them meeting him. They're like my parents and I love them.
He smiles at my enthusiasm. "Chill out, I'm sure we can talk or something."
"Jazzy, what is so excit-" Karen began to ask before seeing Nick. "I see why you're so giddy. Is this Nick?"
"Yes, Karen, this is Nick. Nick this is Josh's mom, Karen."
"Nice to meet you. Josh as in JC?"
"Yeah, as in Daddy C."
"Karen, would you mind if we hung out in the backyard?" he asked, being polite.
"Not at all. She'll show you her favorite spot in our yard. When you want to take her out, let me know."
"I will make sure to. Thanks."

I walk out the sliding glass doors and guide him to the hammock. I lay across it and he lays back on it, I let him push it because he's taller. "This is where I was when I talked to you on the phone for the first time," I tell him, remembering our first conversation.
"Is that why you always lay in the hammock at my house after we swim?"
"Kinda. It's part of it. It's also so relaxing."
"I get it."
"Reminds me of back home."
"I still haven't gotten used to the accent yet."
"I'm tryin to not have the twang," I admit.
"I think it's kinda cute."
"I don't like it."
"I mean it's cute, I like it and it's how I can tell it's you when I don't look at the caller ID." We laugh at the last part of his thought.
"Like this morning?"
"Yeah, both times this morning." We swing in the hammock as we talk about the past month and laugh. "Now you know and it probably explains your immediate connection with him."
"It does, but do me a humungo favor?"
"What's that?"
"Tell nobody, not even Aaron."
"Done deal."
"Can we go to the beach or something?"
"Yeah, we can. Let's go find Karen and let her know we're heading out." 
We locate Karen and inform her that we were heading to a nearby beach. "Check in in a couple hours, ok?"
I smile and hug her. "I will, Karen."

We get into AJ's SUV and head for the beach after grabbing my beach bag. We talked the whole time there, including one subject I didn't want to talk about-my dad. "Why is it only you and your mom?"
"I don't wanna talk about that."
"Will you ever tell me?"
"Possibly, but not yet."
He sighs. "My brother and sisters miss you."
"I know, I've been talking to them everyday. They know I miss them too. The tour starts in a month."
"Aaron is beyond excited."
"You have to be too."
"Considering that you're cleared to go on tour, once you finish the work for next year."
"Which will be this week."
"Awesome! Just to forewarn you-AJ will tease us."
"I figured that much," I groan.
"He's hell bent on the idea of us getting together in the next few weeks."
"The bet. Good god, I say they should just give up on it."
"You don't think you'd ever give me a chance?"
"I don't know. I'm just scared to date and have a serious relationship. I have no idea how to deal with this kinda thing," I confess, looking at him.

We pull up to the beach and grab our bags from the back seat, heading for the water. We drop our things in the sand, having already stuck our phones in the bag. We dive under and splash each other, Nick instigating the water fights every time without fail. He leans against a post, pulls me into his arms under the dock and our eyes lock. I quickly look at the sand under our feet, scared. He places a knuckle under my chin and I look at him, unsure of what might happen. We've been talking for almost four months and have gotten to know each other pretty well. He places a gentle kiss on my lips and pulls away, blushing. "Sorry."
"Don't be."
"Well, I should've asked first, I think."
"Let's not tell anyone and not talk about it," I blurt out.
"Ok," he agrees.

He guides me to the water's edge and flicks water at me, quickly erasing the emotions, confusion and memory for the time being. We continue having fun until our stomachs are screaming their equivalent of 'feed me, Seymour' at us. We go to a stand and order some fried dough, soda and hot dogs. I check in a handful of times with Karen and Roy, have a blast and get home around nine. Nick and I are sunburned, red as lobsters, laughing. "Thanks, Icky."
"As long as you had fun, I'm glad we hung out."
"It was a blast and my curfew is in fifteen minutes, so," I hug him,"I'll see you tomorrow. What time should I be ready?"
"Howie says seven."
"See you and AJ around seven. Night."
A smirk takes its place on his lips and I wonder what he could be thinking. "See ya in the morning. Night."

I hug him one more time and go inside. I pull out my cell phone, after informing Karen that I'm home and safe, and play eenie meeni minni mo with five very frequently called numbers. "Hello?"
"I think he might be one of my firsts, James."

From what my mom told me, Jazzy has basically taken over my old room and Vikki has hardly been home since March. I've been in touch with her, but she tells Lance more than me and she's already finished middle school and is halfway through her work for her freshman year. "Jazz, how have you been doing with the work?"
"Good, I'm blowing through everything."
"Even math?"
"Yeah, it's geometry. I'm good at it."
She sounds distracted. "Is something on your mind?"
She laughs, probably shaking her head. "Homework, touring this summer with the Boys, going to your special things, their special things, and graduating in 11 months."
I smile, knowing I added that pressure on her already weighted mind. "Think of it like this, you're almost done with your freshman year."
"Hahahahaha! Fucker."
"Why do I hear a Backstreet Boys song in the background?"
"I'm at their rehearsal in the hall, easier to hear you."
"Oh." I guess it makes sense. "You still coming out the week of the 16th?"
"It's only a week away, so of course I am."
"When does your flight leave again?"
"In two days on the tenth at 4am. I'll be landing in Tokyo around 9a the eleventh, Tokyo time. I can't wait to see you guys, but I know I have to talk to James."
"What about?"
"A few personal things, nothing big."
"Find out why you two clicked yet?"
"No, not yet."
"That's starting to irk me, having no idea why."

She's quiet and I hear pencil (I think) scratching paper, signaling homework being done. That's why she is so distracted. "Not much I can do about that."
I hear a guy laugh and I don't recognize who it belongs to. "Where are you?"
"Tampa tonight and then back to your parents' in the morning. Been here for two days. Nick had them off," she informs me.
"You're still hanging out with him?"
"What's it matter to you?"
"Nothing." Her defensiveness causes me to back down. "Anyone else there?"
"No, of course not," she sarcastically remarks.
"If he had the past couple days off, why is he at rehearsal?"
"They wanted to rehearse last night, but I talked them out of it. They're doing it now and I'm almost done with the work for what would've been my third quarter work for my freshman year," she boasts.

I forgot to warn her that she's on speaker and Justin's hanging out in my room. "Fuck you," Justin tells her.
"I'm a virgin and plan to be that way when I turn 18," she is about to start a war. "After that, what happens just happens."
"Yeah, I doubt you'll wait that long, especially with how you are with him."
"What the fuck does that mean?"
"I know how you feel when it comes to him. You'd let him get it before Lance or me."
Oh, shit. "James knows I don't wanna risk our friendship and I made the same thing clear with your ass!" He's opened a can of worms and I have to try to shove the shut before he aggravates the situation.
I quickly take her off speaker and try to diffuse the problem. "Jazz, I'm sorry he said that."
"Not your fault," she replies, seething. "I cherish my friendships more than that, you know this."
"I know."
"You should've warned me that I was on speaker," she spat at me. I earned that one.
"You're right, I should've."
"Ok. Josh, I'll talk to you later."
She's still mad and about to hang up. "Just relax, please."
"I will. I'm going to Nick's and don't bother calling me. I'll only pick up for James when he's solo."
"I'll let him know."
"Bye."

"I'll let you cool off for a day. Bye." She hangs up and I shake my head. "Now she won't talk to anyone but Lance."
"She's hanging with the youngest Backstreet Boy and you're fine with it!"
"She's happy, so I don't mind. Justin, you seriously need to chill out."
"Have you seen how she acts around him? How she talks to him? How she wants to jump his bones?"
"She's 14 and I remember someone being the same way when it came to Britney at her age."
"That was different."
"How? She's known him for six months and they haven't done anything beyond hugs and falling asleep on each other."
"She's going to cross the line and we won't know until it's too late!"
"Justin! She's going to do as she pleases because it may be her way of lashing out and rebelling."
"Why are you so quick to defend her?"
"She's like a sister to me."
"She's one of my best friends, but I know how she is when it comes to him."
"Just back off. Talk, and I mean talk, to her about it."
"Fine, I will. Let's finish the movie so we can go to bed."
We finish watching the movie and he goes back to his room. I must have been exhausted because sleep took me quickly.
~~~~~

It's been a week and I didn't have to talk her down from her fear of flying. Maybe she got used to the idea of flying. I think back to the fight Justin and Jazz had, wondering why he's so sure about her being a certain way when it comes to Nick. Sure, I know she really likes him, flirts with him, has fallen asleep on him, and talks or texts him alot. She's been staying between his house and my parents' mainly, but I know she doesn't share a room with him or his brother. She said something about him and his brother bunking together when she's there. She talks more about school with me and Lance knows more than me when it comes to her. "JC, you paying attention?"
"What? I was just thinking."
"Since we have the day off, we were thinking we go out tonight."
"Our first interview is around noon, we have to grab Jazz around 9 tomorrow morning and we have to endure ten hours of interviews. Derek and Lonnie are rotating between us and her per her request five months ago," I inform the other four guys.
"Why does she get everything she wants?" Justin whines.
"Shut up, Curls," Lance snaps. "Maybe it's because she's not a bitch about it."

Whoa! Lance just swore! He hardly ever swears! "She's also a guest, Justin. She comes for a couple weeks here and there, goes home and visits us again a few months later. It makes it more bearable for her. We're practically family to her and you need to realize that she is closest to Lance. She tells you more than she does me."
"She tells Joey and Chris more than she does you," Justin informs me.
"It's things like where she goes and who she goes with," Joey indulges.
"Who does she go practically everywhere with?"
"Nick takes her where she wants, when she wants to," Chris informs us. Lance is the only sitting back, unfazed by this tidbit of information. Joey just gives a quick nod and shrugs his shoulders, knowing the same things as Chris is my best guess. 
Justin and I look at each other, our eyes wide with concern. Justin jumps out of his chair at the café, freaking out. "I told you! They're probably dating!"

Lance cocks his eyebrow and smirks, ready to laugh. He's as calm as he always has been. "Not yet, but if he asks I know she might seriously consider it."
Justin continues to blow a gasket over this as I try to get more information put of Lance. "Why would she do that?"
"He knows almost as much as I do. What she tells me is confidential and I'm not going to cross the line. I know what I can and can't talk about with you guys because she knows you and Justin can't keep the things Joey, Chris and I know to yourselves. Everything she's told those two, I knew first. Nick knows how she feels and respects her enough to not rush her. He may be 16, but he does want her to be with him and is waiting for her signal. They've gotten very close."
"How do you know?"
"He's called me a few times from her cell when she's in the shower. He confides in me sometimes. He's texted me from his cell."
"How can he text you from his phone if the number is in hers?"
"She's forgotten hers and had to text me from his. He feels almost the same about her as she feels about him. It's inevitable, no use trying to stop a relationship or a kiss or sex to happen between them. I know for a fact that neither of them are thinking about sex right now, they are more concerned about having a great friendship to fall back on if they do date each other and it doesn't work out."
"They are pretty much telling you that they're going to date regardless?"
"No matter what any of us have to say about it. She's 14 and he's 16, four of us know what might be on his mind. I'm more than sure that he's more concerned about her being alright than that."
"I don't know." Lance shrugs and joins the conversation with Joey and Chris, essentially ending ours. Justin continues to freak out, so I suggest we hit the mall and see if we can find anything we'd like there. 
~~~~~

Jazz lands in five minutes and I'm the only one awake. I watch her get her luggage and cooly walk over to me. She hugs me and she grew a couple inches. "How tall are you now?"
"Five feet and 3/4 inches."
Almost an inch. "I thought you got taller."
"I'm still vertically challenged."
I chuckle. "We love you anyway."
"I know, that's why I wanna hang with you guys."
"How goes the work?"
"I'm down to the last month and half worth of work."
"Why haven't you talked to me since the shit with Justin?"
"I had to cool off and I have, so just drop it," she says defensively.
"Alright." We get on the bus and she drops her bags on the couch again, running for the bunks.

I drop my bags in the same place as I did the last time I was on their bus and run to wake his country butt. "James! Wake up! James!" I whisper in his ear.
He swats at me and I shove him, forcing him to look at me. "Sam!" he yells, throwing his arms around my body and pulling me into his bunk. We lay there hugging each other for what seemed like hours, although we knew it was only a few minutes. "Are you still playing JC's outlandish game?"
"It's a bet."
"Same thing."
"No, it's totally different."
"Either way, how goes the work?"
"I'm almost done with the work for my freshman year."
"So when will you start on the work for sophomore?"
"Next month."
I lay cuddled to him, my head on his shoulder, his arm around me and his hand rubbing my back. "What about Nick?"
"We are only friends and on the promo tour. I don't know what to do."
"What's wrong?"
"I told you last night," I remind him.
"That? Honestly, I've been thinking about that one and I can tell how he talks to you when you and I talk on the phone, that he likes and respects you more than you let yourself see."
"How can you tell?"
"When you're with him and on the phone with me, he asks who and says he'll wait for you to finish, he lets you talk with me. He sometimes puts up with us talking for hours on end, hardly saying much. You said he makes sure you balance school work and fun as equally as possible."
"Yeah, he's so sweet. I don't know what to do or when to let the walls down or how to tell him," I confess.
"You've been through alot."
"I just don't know how to act around him."
"Sam, he took advantage of the situation and left you and Vikki hurting. Brandon is a horrible man who did what he did and I know the whole story. I was there."
"I don't know what to say, how to act, who to turn to. All I have is you, James," I tell him, sobs starting to take over my body.
"Shhhhh. I know. I'm here," he assures me, kissing my head and rubbing my back.

"Is she ok, Lance?"
"She's fine, JC. We're just catching up, it's been five months."
"She calls and texts you more than the four of us, how much catching up could be left?"
"It has to do with specific things."
"I believe you," JC dismisses.
"Sam, he's not Brandon and he doesn't seem like that." He holds me closer, comforting me. "I don't see him like that." I continue to cry on his shoulder about the whole situation.
~~~~~

A combination of jet lag and crying must've knocked me out cuz next thing I know I'm waking up in Lance's bunk alone. My cell phone rings and I hear him answer it. "Hi, Nick. No, she fell asleep. Jet lag. James. Yes, I'll let her-"
"James," I call out.
"She just woke up, hold on," he tells Nick and places my cell on a counter or the table. He comes up to me and because I'm half asleep, guides me to the front of the bus. "Hey, sleepy. Nick is on the phone and waiting for you to pick up."
I hug Lance. "Thank you. Can we go in the lounge?" I request, thumbing toward the back of the bus.
"Yes, come grab your phone first," he tells me. 

I walk over and grab it from the table. "Hey, Icky," I answer as I head to the lounge.
"Hey, beautiful. I was worried when you didn't call after you landed. I understand why though."
"Jet lag bites."
"I hear that. How are you feeling?"
I lay on one of the couches, my head on my best friend's lap. "Tired. Happy to see my best friend."
"James, right?"
"Yes, it's been so fucking long. Five months is too long."
"I know. We were gone for two years, I get it."
"Now, you worked this hard and don't let it go to your head."
"That's why I keep you, you keep me grounded."
"Nick, you're a nerd," I chuckle.
"I try to make you laugh."
"You usually can get me to."
"I miss you. What, Aaron? Yeah, hold on. My brother misses you and wants to say hi."
"It's ok."
"I'll put him on."

I hear the phone pass from Nick's hand to Aaron's. "Hey, Jazzy," Aaron greets me excitedly.
"Hey, Acey. How hard you rocking that stage?"
"Really hard. Nick wanted to call before he went on stage. How long are you there?"
"I'm here until next Saturday when I land State side again."
"The twentieth?"
"The 19th is Saturday, kiddo. I land early morning in Tampa."
"I wish you were here. It's boring."
"I know. Just rehearse and when I get back, I'll make sure to get you laughing again."
"Are you doing the whole tour or just the not so busy US part?"

I walk to my bag and pull out the contract with Johnny, thumbing through as I walk back to the lounge. "It says unless my grades drop below Bs, I can go on all tours with you, Nick and the Boys and the guys. For the next three years," I summarize for him as I sit near Lance.
"Really? That's so cool!"
"Yes, and if I graduate before it's up, the grade thing is invalid," I explain.
"Wow, is that why you're working so hard to finish early?"
"Yeah, I'm trying to graduate in June."
He sighs. "You're crazy!" 

I shrug and smile at Lance. "Meh, I'm just the girl next door back home."
"That means all the girls there are crazy and too motivated!" he jokes.
"Nope, I'm a special girl." I lay with my head on Lance's lap again.
"We miss you so much and just want you to come back."
"I need time with James, kid."
"I know, he's your best friend from back home," he repeats what I've told him over the past two weeks.
"I miss you too. I wish I could be there."
"Nick has been mopey since you left."
"I bet. Is he smiling or feeling a little better right now?"
"Yes, since talking to you."
"Tell him 8 days and I'll be back."
"I will and make it fly by."
"Rehearse, do your school work and have some fun. That's how you make it fly by."
"Johnny's telling me I have to hang up. Talk to you soon."
"Definitely. Later."

I hang up and Lance smiles at me, making me smile back. "Sam, you really do like him. So you need to give him a fair chance. He might be your only one."
"I know." I feel my eyelids start to droop and I give in.
~~~~~

I wake up and find that I'm in a hotel bed, my head on Lance's lap on a pillow. I stretch and head for the shower. I take my shower and get ready for the day. I get to see Japan for the first time in my life, I'm so excited and can hardly wait. My cell buzzes on the nightstand and I answer it, looking at the caller ID. "Hey, mister performer. How are rehearsals?"
"Hey, beautiful. They're good and boring."
"I'm sorry, but I had to see James."
"I know. I just miss you and 'Tima is working us hard."
"It's a week away. I'll be back faster than you think. Just focus on rehearsals, school and having fun while you can."
"When do you land again?"
"At 4am in Tampa, next Saturday, the nineteenth."
"I miss you. One second? I have to go, call you later."
"Bye."

Lance stirs. "I got a call last night about when we go home."
"November?"
"It got pushed back. March."
I sit on the bed next to him, my head on his shoulder. "What about the first single release back in the States?"
"Still November 8, we just don't get to go home until March."
"Bullshit!"
He tilts his head to the side, looking into my eyes. "Sam, I know you were looking forward to us coming home in four months, but we have to get a better fan base here."
I sigh. "Will you be back before it drops?"
"A week before."
"Like the 17th?"
"More like the 9th. We have to be in NY for the premier of 'Tearin' Up My Heart'."
"TRL?"
"Yes, as far as I know."
"Can I go?"
"You'll have to stay backstage."
I shrug. "It's time with my friends."
"It's also a way for you to see the world."
"Yeah, it's a bit exhausting to fly between all these countries and things for two groups that I have friends in."
"Plus trying to graduate with me, three years early."
"I've been busting my butt and I start the sophomore work next month, so I might finish the work before you."
"Whatever, just make yourself proud. What's your GPA?"
"Right now it's like a 3.79. If I pass my work in and ace the finals, it'll jump to a 3.87."
"That's almost valedictorian status."
"It's the nerd in me."

He laughs. "Fun photo shoot today. It's for a teen magazine."
"Music?"
"Yes."
"Whooo!"
"You're crazy!"
"What time, JB?"
"We have to be there for nine. I'm going to get ready."
"How close is everything here in Tokyo?" I inquire, not even attempting to hide my excitement after he gets his shoes on fifteen minutes later.
He smiles the goofiest, cheesiest smile. "We are in walking distance of the shoot, three McDonald's, a Denny's, a hospital and the Tokyo Hilton hotel."
"We can we go to Denny's for lunch?" I ask, ready to jump up and down.
He starts to laugh. "Yes!"

I shriek and jump up and down on the bed as he answers the door. "Excited much?" Justin asks.
I jump off the bed, hugging Justin. "I missed you and your curls! We're going to Denny's for lunch! I get to witness a fun photo shoot!" I squeal with happiness and excitement.
He starts to laugh at my excitement. "Cool. C'mon, we have to do the shoot and then we have the day to ourselves." JC, Joey and Chris were in the hall waiting for us and I immediately hug them.
JC looks at me. "Jeeze, don't you look exhilarated about something?"
"Photo shoot, Denny's and I missed you guys. I wanna see Japan."
"Scoop, where are we staying?"
"Here in Tokyo, then Kyoto, Hiroshima, a quick jump to Berlin, Osaka and Kitakami. We're staying in Japan mainly. Just different parts."

"I've always wanted to see different countries!" I say excitedly as we climb into the elevator with Derek, Mike, Lonnie, Tiny, and a couple others of the security team.
"I can tell, Jazzy." I look at Derek and Lonnie, sticking out my tongue.
~~~~~

We get to the shoot a few minutes later and the the photographer rudely asks who I am. "For one, being rude to her means you're being disrespectful to us and we won't tolerate that. Second, she is family to us. Third, we should get down to business," JC corrects her while a translator talks in Japanese. She apologizes and we get down to the shoot. I put in my tape and we start the shoot. Lance and I start dancing as they do the solo shots. We are being goofballs and laughing. I see JC and Justin whispering and I start to talk quietly with Lance.
"I bet they're racking their brains about why we're so cool with each other. Have you told anybody?"
"I told security, Chris and Joey. Johnny too. I think Chris and Joey forgot already."
"I told Tyler, the Boys, Heather, Beverly and Karen."
"JC's family, the Boys, Heather, Tyler, Johnny, Chris, Bev, and Joey all know."
"That leaves those two nerd mongers that don't know." I start jammin to Aaliyah's 'Back & Forth'. "...I got dress personality, cheap mentality... Now let me see you go back and forth, back, back, forth and forth..." I'm dancing and getting some energy out just so I can be chill before lunch. 
"You always had rhythm and loved to have fun," Lance tells me.
I smile and we dance until he's up for his solo shoot and he just won't smile how they want. I know how and do three back handsprings, a round off and a back flip. I land it and make a face at him, causing him to laugh and the photographer to get the shot she wanted. "Have you been practicing, Baby J?"
I look at JC and smile. "Yes, I have with Nick and Aaron on their trampoline and in your yard."
"Can you do this move?" He does the low hand spring that they do during 'Tearin Up My Heart'.
I do three in a row. "Yeah, I guess I can."

We go back and forth, JC showing off and seeing if I can do the moves. Justin joins in and we goof off the whole time. The shoot wraps after some group shots and we go to Denny's around 1:30 for lunch. "I can't wait to be back home again," Joey admits. "You're still making everything we asked for, right?"
"Yeah, I'm figuring out what to feed you guys what day because Justin and James want down home comfort foods, you want Italian, Josh wants Chinese and Chris wants finger foods and things like that," I recall.
"I guess she does have a good memory," Chris admits.

"When do we go to Berlin?"
"For Tuesday afternoon. We hop a flight after the show in Kyoto and come back for Thursday morning," Lance informs me.
"Cool, one day in Berlin, Germany!"
"A day and a half. We will only be awake for about 16 hours, total," he calculates.
"Oh, the premier of TUMH, I can be there. I have to fly out to Dublin on March 14th, late night."
"So you're not going to be around most of the year next year?" Justin asks, pouting.
"Sorry. I will be taking January 26-February 3, the first week of May, August 4-11, October 13-20, the week of  Thanksgiving and five days around Christmas off in Orlando."
"What about New Year's?" JC asks. 
"I'm working on it. Johnny and Fatima want Nick motivated and I guess I'm his muse. He's kind of like James, but without the immediate connection." I wanted to say previous history.

They start talking about having me be there for Chris and JC's birthdays this year. "I'm going to be with you guys from August 3 until September 3, then from September 8-October 25."
"What about our first full tour in the States?" Chris questions.
"I was told last week that I'm going to be notified when the label and you guys figure it out. As far as I know, Johnny has me on your first worldwide tour."
They smile and we finish eating. We go sight seeing and I go overboard with pictures.
~~~~~

It's been a short week because of how busy they are right now. We got into Berlin last night and we're now sitting at a table in a nice restaurant. Justin is being a dipshit again. This time Joey is taping Justin's idiocy. It's July 16, 1997 and Justin's acting like a complete idiot in this nice restaurant. JC and Lance have me sit between Chris and Lance. I'm trying to talk to JC. "Do you you really think I can do this?" 
"Oh yeah." Justin taps JC's cheek, talking nonsense and making weird noises.

"Well, well, I haven't seen you around my boys in a few months," the fat pig says in my ear.
Lance sees me close my eyes and hold my breath. "She's only with us for a few more days."
My stomach churns and I look at JC. His eyes lock onto mine and he mouths 'What's wrong?'
'I don't like him.'
'Lou?'
'Yes.'
'You going to be ok?'
'I might be sick.'
'How?'
'To my stomach.'
'I feel like that when he's around too.'

"Excuse me, I have to use the ladies' room," I say, standing from the table. I briskly walk to the bathroom and throw up in the trashcan. My mind begins racing. 'Why do I get like this around him? Why does he creep me out? JC understands, why? Lou makes me sick. I can't wait to leave for Japan again. I hope he doesn't come with us.'
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
"You ok, Jazzy?" It's JC.
"I will be when we leave Berlin and get away."
"We leave in a few hours."
"I know. I can't wait."
"Me either."
"Let me rinse my mouth and I'll be out."
"I'm waiting for you." I know he's doing it to protect me because I am his responsibility every time I'm with the guys. When I'm with the Boys, I'm Howie and Kevin's responsibility. I rinse my mouth and exit the bathroom, hugging JC for comfort. "Five hours until we leave," he tells me, more than likely counting down. I take a deep breath and we head back to the table.

Lance had ordered something he knew I'd like, trying my best to eat and I knew I didn't want to risk it coming back up. The waitress comes over and speaks broken English. "You take go?"
"Please," I reply, nodding. 
I look at Lance and he nods his head, reading the fear in my eyes. "Thank you for dinner, but we should get some sleep."
"Ok, you have to be in Osaka tomorrow, so I will see you boys later on during the tour."
The five of them nod and we all get up, heading for the bus. I immediately go to Lance's bunk, he climbs in after me and I cry myself to sleep. 
~~~~~

When I wake up, my head is on a fully clothed chest and someone else is curled around my body from behind. I look at the foot of the bed and see Justin. I glance at the table in the room to find Joey and Chris asleep, face down with their arms on the table. I look up far enough to see a grey medallion, proving it's JC. That means Lance is spooning me. I guess you could say I'm comfortable with him laying behind me, his body curled and cuddled against the back of mine. It's true because we've slept like this since I was nine when we'd share a room. He always seemed to calm me down and comforted me. I have no idea how many pictures 'Renny has of us sleeping like this, but it was a comfort thing and I feel so safe right now. I look at the clock and see it's seven in the morning. I curl my body tighter to JC's and Lance curls his around mine, cuddling closer. Lance's face nuzzles into the curve of my neck and JC's body tenses as he mumbles in his sleep. "No, don't touch her." I rub his chest with my hand for a split second and his body relaxes. We all sleep until the alarm clock goes off around ten.

Today and tomorrow consist of interviews, rehearsals and two concerts before I get on a plane to fly to Tampa. I get to see Aaron, Nick and the other Boys in two days.
"James, ligean dul." His grip on me slackens and JC jumps as I get up. I shower and get dressed, leaving the room to get Lonnie. I have my cell and my key card. I pop my head into the open door for his room, noticing the rest of the security staff were in there. "Hey, fellas!" I chirp. They all greet me warmly and hug me. "Lonnie, would you be opposed to my kidnapping you for the day as my bodyguard?"
"Not at all, Jazz," he replies with a gentle smile gracing his face.

We head back to the room I woke up in, surrounded by the guys. "One question."
"What's that?" he asks quietly while I push the door open.
I point to the scene of the guys asleep, a void between JC and Lance where I was sleeping. "Why did they decide on this?"
"Let me guess, the void is where you slept?"
"Yes."
"We all noticed how bad Lou shook you up and the boys went into protective mode, JC went overboard."
"So now I'm like a sister to the other four?"
"You've been JC's baby sister since the night he took the time to teach you that song," Lonnie informs me.

I remember that night and smile. "Yeah, he went all big and mighty brother on me when I spent the day with Nick the first time."
Lonnie smiles as I close the door, we turn and head down for breakfast. "We heard about it from Derek."
"How bad was JC about it when he talked to Derek?"
"His hands were flying all over the place and he was a bit loud, but got told what happened, where you went and when you and he got back. Other than that, he left it to you to tell JC."
"You know about James and I?"
"The whole story between you two?"
"Yes."
"Lance told us a couple months ago when he told Joey and Chris. Johnny found out three weeks ago. Do Justin and JC know?"
"Not yet from what James said."
"So how long have you and Lance known each other?"
"About five or six years. His best friend is my cousin Darren."
"How are you related to the kid?"
"His mom and mine were best friends in high school, his dad is my mom's cousin. My grandpa and Darren's grandpa are brothers, married best friends. Darren and I are second cousins," I explain, ordering breakfast for both of us.
He raises an eyebrow. "How are you and Lance so close?"
"At first he felt bad for me, but that was before he saw how 'Renny included me and soon after that we just started talking. We got comfortable and have an amazing friendship that we've had for four or five years, the last two being through letters and phone calls. I moved to Orlando six months ago and I bumped into JC and Justin."
"He said something about you moving to Massachusetts."
"August of 94, I spent every vacation back home with him and 'Renny-Christmas, Thanksgiving, spring, summer, winter, every one of em," I tell him, my back home twang slipping out.
"You have the same accent as Lance," he observes, a lopsided smile appearing on his lips.
I smile back, relaxed. "We both lived in Ellisville and Clinton, Mississippi."
Our food comes and we continue to talk about back home as we eat. My cell phone rings and I pick it up. "Yeah, Daddy C?"
"Where are you? Do you have someone from security with you? Are you ok?"
"In the café, Lonnie and yes."
"I woke up and you were gone. I got scared."
"I'm fine and I asked Lonnie to come with."
"Ok," he tells me, breathing a sigh of relief. "I'm going to join you two, I'm hungry myself."
"You're always hungry, Sleepy."
He laughs. "Yeah, yeah."
We hang up and I continue to eat while Lonnie tells me about his childhood back home. "Hey, JC. It's about time you woke up," Lonnie teases.
"She fell asleep before us. She was out within an hour of climbing into Lance's bunk and him holding her. Since that's on my mind, how come he's able to spoon with you?"
"He's a good friend and we've been very close. We just happen to be the kind of friends that cuddle and are very comfortable with each other," I quietly defend, attempting not to blatantly tell him that I've known James for so long. He said he'd tell the guys.
"Most people take years to get that close, not six months," he argues. "Especially when they're co-ed friendships, girls are usually a little more cautious about having guy friends."
"It's all I know, considering over 90% of my cousins are guys and I spent most of my time with them and their friends," I point out and shut my mouth before I spill the beans about the situation. "Guys also bring less stress and drama into friendships," I nonchalantly add, in a desperate attempt to cover my tracks.

The subject is dropped, my point most likely made clear, and we start discussing the day's events. The other four guys and the rest of the security team join us, eat and then we head out for the interviews, rehearsal and the concert. I have been texting Nick and Lance all day. Nick about being back in Tampa and Lance about back home and Nick. The next day we had to be up for five to start rehearsals in Kitakami, JC, being true to his reputation, told us to get to bed. We were exhausted anyway. Lance and I crashed in his bunk, as per normal, for my last night with them. I would be hopping the flight to Tampa tomorrow.
~~~~~

I wake up around three in the morning on Friday and I wake up Lance. "The bus isn't moving."
"We're in Kitakami," he mumbles, pulling me closer and we fall into dreamland for two more hours.
"Hey, Jazz, Lance you have to get up," I hear JC tell us. I stretch and yawn, Lance following suit after feeling me do it.
"We're awake," Lance confirms.
"We've been at the arena since three or so."
"That's when she woke me up to tell me that we stopped moving."
"It's alright. We have to get in the arena in the next half hour."
Lance and I nod, getting out of his bunk. We go in there arena a few minutes later and because we're half asleep, an old routine/habit rears its head-his arms around my waist and his head on my shoulder, my hands over his and my head leaning on his. We yawn a few times and I see fruit on the table. "James, I want fruit. Ligean dul."
He releases me. "You still love fruit," he says, mid yawn. 
I nod and all the guys go for separate interviews. I listen in on Lance's. "Is the girl you were holding your girlfriend?"
He shakes his head. "No, she's a very close friend of mine and we're just very comfortable with one another."
"Are you seeing anyone?"
"No, I'm very much single."
"How long have you known her?"
"Long enough to be comfortable with each other. We tell each other everything and are extremely close."
"How do you know her?"
"I'd rather keep that between her and I."
"She seems to be a very central piece in your life. How do you cope with being away from her?"
"Phone calls, text messages, and letters. She visits us around our birthdays and some holidays."
"Did she visit on your birthday?"
"Yes, she spent from the afternoon of the third (of May) until the evening of the fifth with us, mainly me."
"Did she do anything special with or for you?"
"No, just the usual day of hanging out, a card and a picture of us that she holds close to her heart."
"Why was the picture so important?"
"It was from the last night we spent in Orlando back in January and it was us with the other guys (of *NSYNC) asleep in the living room."
"What does the end of this tour mean to you?"
"We get to go back to the States, visit our families and takes a well deserved break around promotional appearances."
"What has it been like, being an important piece to *NSYNC?"
"It feels great, I do miss my friends and family back home, but I do enjoy being part of this experience." He gets asked a few more questions, switches interviewers and repeats the process 3 times (I think). They then endure three group interviews and 4 photo shoots. They rehearse and I join them for fun. 

Darren is laughing at how hard and serious I can get the guys to work and focus. "I thought I was a slave driver, Jazz!" he yells up to the stage from the center of the arena.
"I don't say anything, I just fall into place and bust my ass just as hard, if not more, than they do. I do it for fun, exercise and because they're my friends. I love to dance," I tell Darren via Lance's mic.
"They have two hours to chill out in the game room, so get off the stage. You might become the sixth member," he tells us, joking with me about being a member of their group.
We head backstage and relax, James and I talk about whatever comes to mind. We knew we have to be careful because Justin's sitting close to the couch we're on. Lance is laying face to face with me and we're talking in whispers almost. "Sam, I'm glad we started hanging out again."
"Me, too. Neenee was surprised when I told her."
"She knows about that?" He peeks over my shoulder to see if Justin or JC were paying attention. JC's laying on the other couch and listening to a cd player, Justin's playing a fighting game with Chris and they're both completely engrossed in their activities. "What did she say?"
"She's glad I kissed 'a nice boy from home'."
He smiles. "She still approves of me."
"She misses you. We should go home for your birthday next year," I suggest.
He nods. "Sounds like a good idea. I miss home."
"Darren misses you. My uncle misses you too."
"I wouldn't doubt that for a second. Your Neenee must miss me the most."
"That she does and she saw a picture of you from six months ago. She said you looked familiar in it, smiling when I told her it's you. She asked if you're the same one that 'Renny is friends with and that I 'used to follow around like a pup. When I confirmed it, she continued her relationship/experience interrogation." 

We must've fallen asleep because JC is waking us up. "Lance, we have to get into costume and play hackey." He inhales sharply and stretches, forcing me to do the same after standing up. "You two are either dating or just too comfortable with each other."
I raise my eyebrow and lock my eyes with his. "Comfortable with each other." They get ready for the show and get a hackey five minutes after they need to be on stage. After the show, Lance makes sure to get me to my flight on time (only brought my gym bag and I have it as carry on) after I check in my bag. "I'll call when I land."
"You better," he jokes.
"You know I'm a creature of habit."
He hugs me. "I know. See you in a few weeks."
"Definitely, James, definitely."
He kisses me on the forehead. "You are sweet to me."
"As you are to me."
"See you soon," he affirms as my flight is called. 
We let go and wave as I walk onto the plane. I put my bag in the overhead and take my seat, buckling up. "I miss you guys already," I say quietly to myself before I settle in.

I've been going non stop pretty much since getting back and I'm having fun. Now I know how these guys feel when they tour, and just imagine how I'm going to feel on my first world tour. December 27 of this year through to New Year's Eve of next year, 369 days on a plane or on a tour bus to spend time with Nick. It's been about a week and so far I haven't heard the question. "Nick, you need to focus."
"Sorry, Jazz," he says, focusing more on the steps than his thoughts.
"Nick! Focus!" Fatima yells.
"She just yelled at me for that!"
"Thanks, girl! You are one hell of a muse. Such a slave driver!"
"Learned from the best!" I beam at her.
She hangs her head and chuckles to herself. "Sometimes I hate you," AJ informs me.
"You love when I talk her, Brian, Kevin and Howie into clubbing!"
~~~~~

Running on minimal sleep, pixie stix and having my sophomore work due December 30, I think it's safe to assume it's a week off before I'm back to the grind. I just got on the bus and immediately go for James' bunk, it's empty. It's fi- "I know and from what I understand, she's already a month into the work for her sophomore year! No, I mean high school! I'm serious!" I walk toward the lounge, open the door quietly and find Pez facing the wall opposite me with his eyes closed, relaxed on the couch. I poke his forehead, he raises a hand and swats at mine, his eyes closed. I wait a minute and slap the top of his head. I know I told them I would be here today! His eyes snap open at the ceiling. "What?!" he growls at me.
"Fuck you too," I retort, immediately turning on my heel and taking over his bunk.
"Sam!" I flip him off and lay belly down, facing the wall. "I'm going to have to call you back. Alright, bye." I hear him press end. "I thought you were Chris or Justin." I slap his forehead without looking. "I'm sorry. I completely forgot today was the day you were coming out to us."

"James, I told you a few weeks ago that I'd be here for Josh's birthday."
"I didn't realize it was already that date. How much sleep have you gotten?"
"Between rehearsing, school, and hanging out, not too much," I admit.
"Do you need help falling asleep?" he asks, watching me yawn.
"Can you cuddle me until I fall asleep?"
"Once we get to the ho-"
"No, now please," I beg, whining. I grab his hands and pull him into his bunk to cuddle to me from behind, the same way as the last time we saw each other a couple weeks before.
He lays behind me and wraps his arm around me on the bunk. "You're exhausted and cranky," he says, snuggling up to me so I can feel his breath on the side of my neck. 
~~~~~

"Lance, we head out in ten minutes. Is she coming too?"
I roll onto my back and sigh, groggy. "Mmm awake."
I hear JC guffaw. "C'mon, Jazzy, we have to head out to rehearsal."
I stretch and get up, fix my hair, grab my phone and keycard. "Ready when you are."
We leave James' room and JC does a quick head count. "Where did Justin run off to?"
I peer over the balcony and spot him. "Josh, Justin," I respond, blowing his cover being half asleep as I pointed him out.
"Thanks, let's try to catch him." I nod and follow behind the four guys with the security team behind me. We get in the elevator and James squats down, allowing me to get a piggy back ride. Being who I am, I take the offer and practically fall asleep during the short walk from the elevator to the van.

Once we get to the arena James hands me a Mountain Dew and a 'bag of goodies'. I open the bag after sitting cross legged near the back of the stage and check what was in there-Carmello, Rollos, Milky Way, Reese's, and Pixi stix. I dig into the Carmello and five things of Pixi stix, followed by a quick chug of my soda. I watch them rehearse for half an hour and James notices my sugar high kick in, a smile forming on his lips. JC wasn't too happy about it, but it was enough for the amusement and let it slide, considering that the show they had coming up was the next night.

I guess I was their entertainment, performing their routine from memory and burning off all the sugar and caffeine. "You ever do this to her again, I promise we all better have some sugar in us," JC warns us.
"Josh, Josh, Josh! Do the steps with me! C'mon!" I say, hyper as hell and tugging on his hand as I jump up and down.
"Ok, chill out." He grabs his and Justin's mics, handing me Justin's. "You sing Justin's parts. You know em."
"Yep, yep, yep!" We go through the whole set and I have endless energy. "Come on, old men! Rehearse! Come on, come on, COME ON!"
~~~~~

It's JC's birthday and we're on the way to a photo shoot in Valencia. We already had to sit in a van to wait for our flight tickets, endure lost luggage and JC is bitching to Joey's camera about the day's difficulties. I guffaw because Chris just slapped JC's cap off his head as he ran by. I watched Justin, Chris and James shoot Pixi stix. I count out seven and shoot them as Joey tapes it. "Duh-na-na-na-na-na-na!" Joey is being Joey and doing that marching band thing. 

James looks at me and we try not to laugh at each other. "Summer 93!" I shout.
"Darren!" he yells.
"Sugar es no bueno!" we holler together, falling over in a laughing fit.
"Oooooohhhhhhhh-kaaaaaayyyyy," JC says, most likely wondering if the Pixi stix are laced.
We shoot some more Pixi stix and this where James goes dork major on everyone. Joey catches it on tape. "You should come look at the escalator. It's so cool! Come look," he says, leading Joey over to it to tape it. "Isn't it cool?" 
Joey just nods and focuses on me. "Should we cut him off from the Pixi stix?"
"Yeap!" I answer as I turn to run after Justin and Chris. We get JC to consider shooting Pixi stix. "C'mon, have some fun, stop being a stick in the mud, come on, come on, COME ON!" I say, jumping around from the amount of sugar in my system.
"How many did you do?"
"Five," Justin tells him, he's spazzing worse than I am and he's had less sugar than me. I've had a two liter of Dew, half a bag of Pixi stix, Carmello, Rollos, Reese's, and chocolate syrup. 

JC shoots the colored sugar and nearly chokes on it as we try to fuck with him. "What now?"
"Run around, it's what we did," Justin tells him. I have never seen him hyped up on sugar and it's fucking hysterical! The second calmest (& best sleeper) of the guys is the funniest on sugar, just stating a fact. Lost luggage, plane ticket issues, Pixi stix, and me spazzing for the second time in less than a week better make his birthday at least funny. All in all, JC's birthday turned out ok, he loved what we did for him.
~~~~~

October 17, 1997
Chris' birthday

"Dude, you are getting so old!" I joke.
"My old ass can keep up you kids!"
We laugh as we stand on the stage for rehearsal. Johnny waves us off the stage. "The stage crew need to check the safety of the stage."
"Where are we supposed to wait?"
"That game room," he tells us, winking at James and I. 
I quickly grab Chris' hand and drag him toward the game room backstage. "We should play a game while we wait."
"Wait, where are the guys? Johnny?"
"I don't know, come on!" I answer as we get to the game room.

I open the door and it's dark inside. "Why it so-" he questions as he flips the switch.
The second the light comes on, everyone involved with the guys pops out of their hiding spots and screams "Surprise! Happy birthday!"
"You did all this for me? Wait, JC was in on it? How did you get him to not tell me?"
"I told him I'd stick Swedish fish up his nose after sour patch kids candies if he ruined it."
"Sugar burns in your nose," he says, thinking. 
"I have no idea how you figured that one out, spare me the details because I don't even want to know."

He throws his arms around my shoulders and pulls me in for an impromptu hug, the appreciative one at that. "Thank you, Jazz." It sounds like he's happy and about to cry. I had gotten up very early and made a chocolate chip brownie cake for him with funfetti frosting (vanilla). The rest of today better go great. They had the day off and should go better than JC's, but JC was happy just to go out to eat and order in Chinese on his birthday. We ate out for dinner and ordered in for lunch. He was thankful for the cake I made him too. His was a marble cake with chocolate frosting with strawberries around the edges. 
"How long have you been planning this?"
"Two months, down to how I was going to write 'happy birthday, Old Man Chris' on your cake," I reply, beaming because I had written it in butterscotch morsels. That took so freaking long, I had done it in cursive. I hope he likes it.
He looks at the cake and a huge grin spreads across his face. "I love how it looks! What did you write it in? What kind of cake is this? Funfetti frosting!"
"It's a chocolate chip brownie cake and I wrote it in butterscotch chips." He cuts a piece of cake for everyone in the arena and attempts to compliment me with a mouth filled with cake. "I'm glad you approve, gramps," I kid with him, taking the compliment as well.
~~~~~

It's Halloween today and I've spent the whole day with Nick and Aaron. We pull into their parents' driveway and get out. Aaron heads for the living room, Nick and I head for the basement to talk like he had asked while we were out. We've known each other for almost ten months and we've gotten so comfortable with each other that we talk about everything that crosses our minds, not once thinking about it. "Jazz, I really do like you," he tells me, laying his head on my lap and locking his dark sky blues on my ocean blues.
"I know that," I say, running my fingers through his short hair.
"Actually, I was wondering if you might want to be with me."
"What do you mean, Icky?"
"Will you be my girlfriend and date me?"
"Are you joking?"
"I'm being serious, Sam," he tells me, using my real name to reveal how serious he is being.

I roll my eyes so that they're looking toward the upper corner of the room, thinking. I know we've discussed what we would expect from and out of our relationship, when and if we started one for the past 3 or 4 months. I take a deep breath, feeling his eyes on me as he waits for my answer. "Yes, as long we stay faithful and can remain honest about it," I agree.
"Really?" he asks, excited like a small child in a candy shop or AJ in a shopping mall.
"Yes, really. Nick, smile or do something."
"Can I have a kiss to seal the deal?" We kiss and he smiles. "Deal sealed!" he chirps happily.
"You're such a nerd!" I say, letting my head drop back against the couch.
"Why's he a nerd?"
I look at Aaron and smile. "Because I said so."
"You kissed! AJ! AJ! They're down here! AJ!"
"You tattle tale!"
"You little rat!" Nick teasingly says.
AJ comes down, smiling. "Looks like you two won."
I raise an eyebrow, curious. "I'm lost."
"He's only going to get you more lost than you are," AJ insinuates, teasing Nick.
I giggle. "I doubt it. I have a good sense of direction and all I need is a map with an idea of my destination. One question, Nick."
"Hmm?"
"Are you announcing it to the media?"
"No, it's my business. If you're not in my personal life, it's not your business."
"Am I in your personal life?" I playfully hint.
"Of course, you're my girlfriend and my best friend."

"You guys got any plans tonight?"
"Other than the party with Johnny and Lou, trick or treating with my brother and sisters."
"Lou's going to be at the party?" I ask, turning ghost white.
"Yeah, he planned it. We have to go," Nick tells me, looking concerned.
"I don't want to go to that."
"Why?"
"I just don't."
"Aaron's going, we're going to be there, I'll stay by your side."
"No," I say weakly, shaking my head.
"I'll leave when you say," he barters with me.
"Promise?"
"Yes," he says, smiling and stroking the side of my face.
"You better keep to your word, man. She's got a reason behind her actions," AJ tells him. I look at him and he shrugs. "You're her man now, it's your job to protect, love, understand, listen to and comfort her."
I feel Nick bob his head in agreement. "I have to call James."

He slips his fingers around mine and rubs the back of my hand, trying to soothe me. I dial the brain numbing digits to my best friend's cell phone. "Hello?"
"Hey."
"What's wrong, Sam?"
"He asked," I changed the subject.
"You better have said yes," he warns me.
"Of course not," I say facetiously.
"Congrats."
"Thanks."

"When's the next time you'll be here to see us?"
"I don't know," I awkwardly admit.
"Oh," he says, sounding defeated. "We miss you."
"I miss you guys too."
"Something is bugging you."
"Don't worry."
"If you say so," he backs off the subject, knowing not to push too hard or risk being shut out.

Ok, I know most girls would give their arm to be his girl, but the situation got to me and I couldn't take it. I spent the night on the phone, crying to James. He got me a plane ticket to see them. A day out in Europe with the five of them to try to heal, then we're stateside again. I'm about to land and see my best friend. I close my eyes as we land and take a deep breath. "You may now exit the aircraft," the stewardess tells all the passengers.
I grab my carry on, I only brought my gym bag filled with a couple days' worth of clothes and homework. 
I almost run off the plane and when I enter the airport, I spot James immediately. I run into his arms and cry. "He's a jerk. I'm here. I can't believe you put so much into that and he did that over something like that," he voices.
"I need to cuddle my best friend and cry," I admit.

He guides me to the bus without another word spoken and I know the other four are up because it's around 2 in the afternoon. JC is the first one to see me. "Hey, Jazz." I look at him and nod. "What happened?" I shake my head. 

I'm wearing pajamas, my eyes are red and puffy and my hair is in a messy bun. "JC, give her a couple days to sleep and feel a little better. She might need to talk to you then."
"We go home tomorrow," he points out the obvious.
"Don't you think I know that? I had get away from that fucker!" I say, tears falling again. Can I just stop crying? I did everything I could to be good enough for him, he still did what he did. He got what he wanted and now I'm the tool.
JC just sits down with his eyes wide with shock. I drop my bag on the floor bus and go to James' bunk, he's right behind me. I cry the hardest I've cried since it happened, facing the wall and he wraps his arms around me, pulling my body to his.

I cry hard enough to grab Justin's attention. "What's wrong with Jazz?"
"Her heart got broken."
"Oh, that sucks. Does she always tell you everything?"
"Most of the time. This time she only said it ended and he's a jerk."
"Why didn't she tell you the details?"
"She was and is crying too hard."
Justin touches my shoulder to be a good friend and I pull away. "Does she have something against me?"
"No, she's just pissed off at most of the guys around her. She snapped at JC and that never happens. She's picky over who touches her, what's said and doesn't want to be alone."
"Oh."
"This was her first relationship and it bombed."
~~~~~

They performed one last time before we fly home and I still haven't said a word to even Derek or Lonnie. I finished all my work for my junior year and will get my senior work when we get home. I just keep to myself and cry while James holds me. I hardly sleep and try my best to hide my broken heart. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. He's called and I won't answer.

My phone vibrates on the table and the screen alerts me that Johnny is calling. "Hi."
"How are you doing?"
"Good."
"How is the school work coming?"
"Working on my finals for my junior year," I say, writing science notes.
"What happened?"
"What do you mean?"
"You're supposed to be touring with the Boys."
"I need time away from him."
We never told him. "Who?"
"Nick."
"Why?"
"Had a fight and I need time to myself."
"Where did you take off to?"
"James."
"You're with *NSYNC right now?"
"Yes."
"What's the story behind you two?"
"He became friends with my cousin and we became friends the following year. When he left to be in the group I was there to say goodbye. He looked different when I saw him in Orlando and found out almost a year ago that he's the same James I've known since I was 8 and I'm the same Sam he's known since he was 12."
"So you've known him for six years?"
"Something like that."
"Ok. Do the other guys know?"
"Not sure, James is supposed tell em."
"Ok, I'll talk to him."

"Don't tell Nick where I am."
"He told me you won't answer his calls or texts."
"Now he's worried?"
"Yes."
"Tell him I said to go to hell. Bye, Johnny."
"Bye, Jazz."

We hang up and Aaron texts me. 'Why won't you talk to my brother?'
'Did he tell you what he did and said?'
'No'
'Find out and you'll know why'

Justin comes into the lounge and sits next to me, handing me a Carmello bar. I smile and hug him. "I thought it'd make you feel a little better," he admits, smiling.
"Thanks," I reply.
"Ha, she speaks! What happened?" He pulls me closer to his side and my head goes on his shoulder.
I sigh and tell him the overview. "Nick broke my heart and lied to me."
"Must've been a hell of a lie to hurt this bad."
"It was."
"Don't go back into your shell, please."
"I'll try not to."
"You know who you're going to stay with in Orlando?"
"James."
"You want to stay with me and my mom?"
"I'll think about it."
"You know that I don't like when you're broken hearted?"
"Why?"
"Because it hides who you are and how beautiful you are on the inside. It also makes it no fun being around you."
"Thanks for telling me, I didn't know."
~~~~~

We've been in Orlando for a couple weeks and I guess you could say I seem like myself again, but I'm still hurting. We go to NY in three days to go prep for the album release. I can't believe that they have some peace before they get crazy big like they are in Europe.

"Hey, you," Justin greets me and I smile.
"Hey, yourself."
"How's the healing?"
"I'm getting there."
He smiles and cups my face with his. "Not all guys are like him. Look at me, I'm not," he informs me, making a funny face just to get me laughing.
"I know and that's why you're one of my two confidants. I'm just glad to be around you."
"You almost ready for a day at the beach?" he asks, stroking a pose.
I giggle and nod. "We packed the cooler and I have my towel."

When I go in the driveway, I see JC's jeep sitting there and it brings a smile to my face seeing Joey, Chris, James and JC waiting for us. James smiles, standing to talk to me. "You look better."
"I needed a few nights of laughs and junk food."
JC walks over and gives me a hug. "You're feeling better."
"Yes. I'm sorry for the blow up a few weeks ago."
He swats at the idea. "No biggie, you just had your heart broken."
I smile and he rubs my arms. "Did someone say beach?"
"Yeah, we did," Chris tells me.
"Beach ahoy!" I say, a big grin plastered on my face.

The whole way there, they keep talking about the foods I've made for them in the past couple weeks. They ask me to cook for them again, making various requests. Justin, Chris and I jump out the second JC kills the engine. "Catch me, old man Lucky!" I wildly laugh and Justin grabs me as he runs by me, carrying me into the water. "Ahhhh!" I scream, laughing right after. He runs in as far as he can, drops me in the ocean and swims off. "You shithead!"
"Come get some!" Justin taunts.
I swim after him and we splash each other when we get close to grabbing the other. We're just goofing off and having fun. They all pick on me, laugh with me and just bond. I could be in the background forever as long as it's with these guys, I'd probably give Justin a chance or James. Give me a few months and we'll see what happens. For now, let's focus on the here-

"Ahhhh!" I scream. Justin and Chris caught me off guard as I stood near the water's edge. They have me by my hands and ankles as they walk a little further into the water, swinging me a few times before throwing me in and running to the sand. I get out and laugh, appreciating their friendship and my time with them. We eat the sandwiches and snacks, sipping our sodas and waters as we sit on the blanket. "Thanks for being there for me."
Five pairs of eyes look at me-two blue, two brown and one green. They smile. "No problem," JC replies.
"It's what friends do," James says.
"I've been in your shoes," Chris informs me.
"We told you to turn to us if you needed us," Joey reminds me.
"Of course we're going to be there," Justin responds, smiling. "Even if we tried to get rid of you, we would regret it after."
"I'm glad to know that I mean that much to you guys."
~~~~~

It's June and I'm graduating beside James, a 3.97 GPA included. "I guess we owe you what we promised," JC says, as he sees me in my dress, cap and gown.
"Guess ya do," I chirp. "I'm only fifteen! Whoo!"
"Three years early and you almost got valedictorian." He hugs me, beaming with pride.

"Graduating seniors, please form a two lines," the graduation director calls out. 
I shrug with a grin plastered on my face. "That's James and I." JC hugs me once more before letting me fall into my place of the line. 
James and I smile at each other. He mouths the words I've been hearing all day and just can't keep from smiling when they're said, 'I'm proud of you, good job!'
'You too, James'

The ceremony starts at Clinton High School and we march out, sit through the speeches and he's surprised when I'm called up for the final speech. I take a deep breath and go on the makeshift stage to the podium.

"As many of you are wondering why I'm so much smaller than the majority of the graduating class of 1998, it's because a friend of mine and James Bass' had issued a very intriguing proposition-graduate early and make everyone of them proud-and I am also vertically challenged."

The auditorium is filled with laughter. "When I moved to Orlando from Massachusetts, they put me back a grade due to the academia being advanced. 
I had arranged for the work to come from the schools in Clinton, home to me, and I went to visit James and our four amazing and very proud friends in Europe while they toured, welcoming me with open arms into their very complex and often confusing world. 
In the past year, I have completed my entire high school career with a strong and intact 3.97 GPA. I have suffered my first broken heart this year, been to Europe five or six times, had a taste of life on tour, experienced concert rehearsals and dealt with all of it while finishing school three years ahead. I'm glad to graduate from a school here, back home!"

I smile and hear everyone cheer. "I know high school isn't easy, but I did all the work everyone else had to with less time and James can attest to how horrible I am at math. I breezed through the rest and stumped on math. I have wonderful friends and I love them and their loving families. 

Darren Dale, you're my cousin and I love you immensely. Thank you for having faith in me! You are one of the many reasons why I'm standing here today, giving this speech and accepting my diploma with a heart filled with pride, joy and love. You as well as our family here at home, mean the world to me. I have no idea where I'd be without any of you.

Josh, if it weren't for your proposition, I wouldn't have been so very motivated to do it.

Chris, thank you for everything.

Joey, your patience with me has been noticed and appreciated.

Justin, it'll be your turn soon enough and I'll proudly cheer and whistle when they say 'Justin Randall Timberlake, come accept your diploma' in Tennessee. 

James, all those nights of late night study sessions, math help and encouragement kept me on track.
Darren, I wouldn't be here without your faith, love, encouragement, and believing in me.
To the rest of my family here at home, thank you for your beautiful words of encouragement and knowing I could do this. Yes, you deserve two thank yous. 

Congratulations to the graduating class of 1998 for making it through high school successfully! Everyone here is proud of your accomplishments!"

I sit back down as I receive a standing ovation. I wait the few minutes and they begin to call up the grads. "...James Lance Bass, come to the stage and accept your diploma..." the principal calls over the microphone. "...Samantha Marilyn Charpentier, come to the stage and accept your diploma three years early..." I smile, accept it and move my tassel attached to my cap.

Joey taped it and JC was going picture crazy. Justin has a sign he's holding up that says he's proud of James and I. We spent the night enjoying multiple conversations as the Bass and Charpentier/Dale clans converge for the jubilation. The food was delicious, the company was positive and we were happy to be able to be done with it all. We flew back to Orlando the following evening.
~~~~~

Ok, it's been almost 4 months since it ended with Nick and I've been flirting with Justin. He instigated the whole thing! It may not justify it, but it makes me feel better. James knows he's far too valuable to me to risk it. It's just before July fourth. Most nights Justin and I can be found cuddling on his mom's couch, his bed, or in a hammock. I'm staying with aunt Diane and James at their house tonight. I have been telling James some pretty 'disturbing' thoughts I've been having about Timbs. I haven't even kissed him, held his hand or anything of that nature. "James, what would you say if I told you how bad I want to kiss Justin?" I bring my lips into my mouth and hold them between my teeth.
"Sam, is that all that's on your brain?"
"Well, I do like him. All we've ever done is hug."
"Ask him out."
"No!" I snap back.
"Why not ask?"
"Then he's going to be distracted the eighteenth!" We had just found out about the Disney special.
"No, I don't think he will."
"What about the press?"
"Meh, they don't matter. Tomorrow is the fourth, ask him."
"James, I'm so old fashioned."
"I can talk to him," he offers.
"No, I like how he and I flirt. We've been flirting for a month almost. He'll ask when he's ready."
~~~~~

"Jazzy, can I talk to you?"
"Sure, Timbs." I walk over to him.
He grabs my hand and smiles. Could this be the moment? "Would you be my girl?"
My eyes bug out. July 10, 1998. I try to answer him and nothing comes out, standing there opening and closing my mouth. "Um," I manage to make a single sound.
"It's ok if you don't, I won't take offense."
"Timbs."
"Hmm?"
"Yes, but we move very slow."

He nods, smiling like a fool, taking a deep breath. "Should we tell the guys?"
I shake my head. "No, let's keep it to us."
"Ok," he agrees, hugging closer than usual.
I look at JC and James, who are watching us like they're hawks and we're the prey. "I think you should get back to rehearsing," I say in his ear.
"Right," he answers, smiling bigger than I've seen in a good while. We go back to the stage and the guys rehearse until seven, when he separated us from the other four and said he was heading back to his house to kick back.
"You have homework too," I remind him, teasing.
He groans about it. "Not much," he grumbles.

We go back to his mom's and head for the backyard, grabbing his homework and the radio on the way. Love music, to us it's just as much a part of me as our hearts help keep us alive. He pulls out his geometry work first as we lay belly down in the grass and I see where he's stuck. "They want the rest of the 180 degree angle. It's simple math. 180 minus 103 is how much?" I explain.
"Um, seventy... Seven," he answers, putting the answer down. "I need to have the equation too."
"X+103=180 or 180-103=x, same idea for all of these."

He's scribbling down the notes and I know he's going to confuse himself. I grab his hand, draw two lines through what he wrote and help him write out the proper formula for the math problems. "This is the right one?"
"That's the proper formula set ups."
I continue to help him with his homework and he finishes in less than an hour, understanding the formulas better. "Justin, Sam, dinner," Lynn calls out to us.

"Be there in a minute, momma," Justin responds, looking in my eyes. He packs his books into his bag again and steals a kiss from me before running inside.
"Justin!" I yell, running after him.