Baby baby
When we first met I never felt something so strong
You were like my lover and my best friend
All wrapped in one with a ribbon on it
And all of a sudden you went and left
I didn't know how to follow
It's like a shock that spun me around
And now my heart's dead
I feel so empty and hollow

He was the first person she ever let love her. She couldn't get herself to believe that he would do something like this to her. Yet here Alicia was waiting for Justin to come home.

And to get him out of her life for good.

True the love they had for one another was great but she had to move on from him. The way she was being treated was wrong and she was always going back to him. He was like a drug, that made her high and then let her crash down.

He was her drug.

And I'll never give myself to another the way I gave it to you
You don't even recognize the ways you hurt me, do you?
It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back
And you're the one to blame
And now I feel like....oh!

Justin walked into her house the way he would anytime he was over her house. As if he owned the place. His swagger, smile and charm always got him what he wanted, the way he wanted ia and most importantly, at any dam time.

“Alicia, wheres my sexy lil kitten.” He said. He knew she was home because he saw her car out in the driveway.

Alicia heard the name and almost wanted to cave in and give him what he wanted. Hell, she had been doing it for the past year. A year with ups and downs, highs, lows, and even lower lows as of lately since she has know he was using her just for sex.

That made her hate him most of all.

Yet there he walked into her kitchen where she was sitting at the table and she saw him walk his way over to her. Dam him for being so dam sexy. She was becoming weak.

You're the reason why I'm thinking
I don't wanna smoke on these cigarettes no more
I guess that's what I get for wishful thinking
Should've never let you enter my door

Next time you wanna go on and leave
I should just let you go on and do it
'Cause now I'm using like I bleed

One more time she thought as he walked over to her and pulled her up to her from her chair. She felt his eyes, the sex eyes he used when he wanted just that from her. Hell it was all she was to him.

But the sad thing is was that his sex to her was a dangerous drug, one that she couldn't resist. Yet she knew she had to get away from.

It's like I checked into rehab
And baby, you're my disease
It's like I checked into rehab
And baby, you're my disease
I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease
I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease

“Justin please stop, I called you here so we could talk, not do this again,” Alicia said as she felt him kiss her neck in the way that at one time made her always feel sexy and light the fire. True she was feeling a fire inside but she was feeling the fire to fight. Not to have him love her, and for Justin to to what he did best. And that was leave her.

“Shh....baby girl, let me love you. I know I screwed up again, and I'm sorry. I won't do it again Alicia, I love you.” Justin said as he took her lips and gave her a smoldering kiss, knowing that it was going to work.

Alicia felt her knees go weak as his kiss turned the fire on inside of her. She felt his hands begin to roam and she was starting to feel the addiction of Justin's kisses and touch on her body and she started to be come intoxicated and let it happen.

This was her problem...love with him was a drug

Damn, ain't it crazy when you're loveswept (?)
You'd do anything for the one you love
'Cause anytime that you needed me I'd be there
It's like you were my favorite drug

The only problem is that you was using me
In a different way than I was using you
But now that I know it's not meant to be
I gotta go, I gotta wean myself off of you

Every touch and every kiss made Alicia realize that this had to be the last time she was going to do this with him. She moaned his name as he pulled her to her room, and stripped her of her clothes and stripped himself.

Justin laid her down and looked into her eyes and said, “That's my lil sex kitten, let me love you baby”

Alicia opened her eyes as she felt him touch kiss and caress her like he always did every time they were together. She tried not to cry as she let herself surrender to the toxic ways of his body on hers and the way she felt when they were together. As one.

And I'll never give myself to another the way I gave it to you
You don't even recognize the ways you hurt me, do you?
It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back
And you're the one to blame
'Cause now I feel like....oh!

Justin smiled as he felt her finally touch him, caress him make him feel good. True he knew he had to try and end is player ways to get her to be with him wholly. He knew if he didn't he was going to lose her for good. He looked down in to Alicia's eyes and saw that she was smiling up to him like she usually did and he smiled as he began to kiss down her body and start his usual way to make her feel as if he was the only one for her. He knew he was, but he knew he was going to get caught sooner or later. He hoped for the later.

Alicia snapped him out of it as she started moaning as he worked her body to the point of want and need.

“Justin, please just make love to me baby.” Alicia said looking up at him making him smile to her.

“As you wish Kitten” He then slowly entered her and began to make love to her. Feeling himself fill her up as he felt good.

You're the reason why I'm thinking
I don't wanna smoke on these cigarettes no more
I guess that's what I get for wishful thinking
Should've never let you enter my door

Next time you wanna go on and leave
I should just let you go on and do it
'Cause now I'm using like I bleed

After it was all over Alicia laid in her bed and looked over to Justin and shook her head as he laid there with her. True she loved him but she love herself more.

What was happening wasn't fair to her and she couldn't tell him face to face. She took the note she had written earlier that day and left it on the pillow of her bed.

It's like I checked into rehab
And baby, you're my disease
It's like I checked into rehab
And baby, you're my disease
I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease
I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease

Justin woke up a few hours later and felt for Alicia not seeing her in the bed he woke up and called for her. “Alicia?” He got out of bed put on his boxers, and went to the bathroom and didn't see her, when he got back to the bed he saw a note there. He saw her hand writing. Thinking it was just a note saying she ran out he opened it and saw what he knew was going to come for a while.

Now ladies gimme that...

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohohoh, oh, oh, ohh

Now gimme that...

Justin,

I wish there was a way for me to do this so that you could see the pain I go through every timee you do this to me but I can't ever do this face to face cus you are like anaddictionn to me. I love you more than you know. You have been the best friend I needed and the best lover ever.

I can't keep doing this to myself. I can't keep dong what we did tonight to myself. Letting you get away with being with one person then coming back to me when you are feeling like I;m good enough for you. You make me feel like sex is something that should be enough and it was until this last time.

Justin looked to the letter and blinked back. He knew she caught him and he knew what she was saying.

Justin, its over, do not try to talk to me when you leave tonight and you are leaving, I am not going to let you think you can talk me out of it again. I should have given this to you last night but I needed one more hit from you..so to speak I needed to feel what I wasn't going to miss after I get you out of my life.

So as soon as you read this do me a favor.

LEAVE

Alicia.

Oh! You're the reason why I'm thinking
I don't wanna smoke on these cigarettes no more
I guess that's what I get for wishful thinking
Should've never let you enter my door

Next time you wanna go on and leave
I should just let you go on and do it
'Cause now I'm using like I bleed.

Justin got up got dressed, and went downstairs, and looked one last time for her. He had to at least tell her sorry. When he found her he saw her on the couch looking into the fire crying.

He knew he did this to her and he felt horrible. He should have done more to keep her happy but his cheating got him caught too many times and this time was the last.

He went to her side touched her soft cheek, kissed her and said, “sorry.”

It's like I checked into rehab
And baby, you're my disease
It's like I checked into rehab
And baby, you're my disease

Alicia saw heard him walk into her living room as she watched the fire burn and felt him kiss her cheek and sighed as she knew that this was the last time this would happen and deep down she cried, not because he left but because she finally started to get himself out of her system.

He was gone. And she was on her way to getting herself off of Justin. Her addiction.

I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease
I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease

Anytime

It has been two weeks since Justin had sat outside Alicia's house. He couldn't believe she didn't call write or even try to get in touch with him. Alicia was the one that would be sad and angry for a few days then call and talk to him and he'd get her back.

This time he didn't...

I can't remember why we fell apart
From something that was so meant to be, yeah
Forever was the promise in our hearts
Now, more and more I wonder where you are

True he did is fare share of cheating but he never meant to hurt her. Deep down inside he loved her, saw forever with Alicia. He could never get enough of her.

Her smile, her face, the way he made her feel like he was a “normal guy”. She told him the truth and let him know when he was being a true asshole and that he needed to get back to reality and not in his Hollywood land.

Justin sat there in his place calling Alicia, he smiled as he heard her outgoing message on her phone:

“Hey it's Alicia, I cant get to my phone right now...leave me a message and if you are worthy of it I will call you back.”

He took a deep breath, and left a message,

“Hey sw...Alicia, it's J, I just wanted to see how you were and tell you that I miss you baby. And that I want you back...I-I love you.” He sat there and sighed as he ended the call. It was the one of many calls, texts and emails he has sent to her in the last few months. He knew he had lost her but he didn't want to give up on hope.

Do I ever cross your mind, anytime
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me
Do I ever cross your mind anytime
I miss you

Justin got up and looked at the pictures he had of her, in a photo album. He looked at the ones of her from when they first met. It was a day he would never forget. Her sweetness to him and the guys, how she became friends with everyone in the group in a moment and how the two of them just seemed right to him.

He kept looking and then went to a picture of the two of them at Kelly and Joey's wedding. She was a bridesmaid and she never looked more beautiful that night. It was the night they decided to try dating and this picture was taken by one of the photographers. The two of them at the table smiling at each other.

Still have your picture in a frame
Hear your footsteps down the hall
I swear I hear your voice, driving me insane
How I wish that you would call
To say

Before he knew it he was in his car on his way to her place. He stopped in the drive way and looked to the house and that last night he was here and how everything went down. How he was trying to win her back like he did before and how he thought he did and she didn't let him. He was shocked and saddened as he sat there and remembered how she was that night.

How she felt under him while they made love. How she tasted, sounded, looked. At that moment he was going to stop his games and be the man she wanted, no the man he needed to be for her.

Only part is now it was too late...she was gone.

Do I ever cross your mind, anytime
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me
Do I ever cross your mind anytime
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you

He took one more moment and got out of the car and started to walk the long walkway to her door. He stood there and gave it thought. Should I do this...should I see if I stand a chance...if I don't then I might regret it...if I do and she says yes I will change my ways for her and be what she needs

Justin took his finger and rang the doorbell. Stood there and waited. He knew she would take him back. He knew they were to be together.

Only thin is what he didn't know was that it was way too little to late.

(No more) loneliness and heartache
(No more) crying myself to sleep
(Don't want no more) wondering about tomorrow
Won't you come back to me
Come back to me, oh

Justin stood there as the door opened and he was met with the face of someone he didn't expect to see there. Not in a million years. A man, blue eyed, standing as tall as him, with dark hair. He was dressed in sweats and a tee shirt as he answered the door.

“Hey man what's up?” the other man said as he looked at him.

Justin just stood there and tried to get the words out. Then he heard her. The voice he loved and longed for. The one person he thought he could have a forever with. He dreamed of it for so long

The dream was broken.

Do I ever cross your mind, anytime
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me
Do I ever cross your mind anytime
I miss you

“Babe who's at the door?” Alicia said as she walked to the door and saw Justin standing there.

“Justin, what are you doing here?” Alicia said as she looked to him. She then looked into his eyes and saw the hurt in them. She at that moment knew he came to get her and she didn't care. She was done with him and moved on.

“I came to see...well I wanted to let you know that I am sorry...and that I want you back.” Justin said feeling like a fool

Alicia looked at him as she said, “you had your chances...you blew them...i can't keep playing this game Justin. I found someone who can be the man I want and need. I love him and I have for a long time. You leaving me was the best thing that could have happened for us.”

“I am happy for you guys. I wish I didn't fuck it up.” he said as he looked at the two of them. True it pained him that Alicia was with his oldest and best friend but in the end he knew it was the best.

Do I ever cross your mind, anytime
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me
Do I ever cross your mind anytime

Alicia stood there in the door way as she watched the one man that could make her love and hate someone for such a long time left her for good. She smiled as she felt JC's arms go around her waist.

“You okay baby?” He asked as he kissed her head.

She watched as Justin looked from his car to her one more time she smiled up to him and said,

“For the first time I am better than okay.” she then closed the door behind her with Justin and the pain he caused in the past and sighed a sigh of relief.

Justin was not her “drug” anymore.

I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you

It was the third time he was hearing this song on the radio. His song...of all songs the song he wrote for another woman was now playing and it was biting him back in the ass in the worlds worst way.

You were my sun
You were my earth
But you didn't know all the ways I loved you, no
So you took a chance
And made other plans
But I bet you didn't think that they would come crashing down, no

You don't have to say, what you did,
I already know, I found out from him
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
And don't it make you sad about it

You told me you loved me
Why did you leave me, all alone
Now you tell me you need me
When you call me, on the phone
Girl I refuse, you must have me confused
With some other guy
Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn
To cry, cry me a river
Cry me a river-er
Cry me a river
Cry me a river-er, yea yea

I know that they say
That somethings are better left unsaid
It wasn't like you only talked to him and you know it
(Don't act like you don't know it)
All of these things people told me
Keep messing with my head
(Messing with my head)
You should've picked honesty
Then you may not have blown it
(Yea..)

You don't have to say, what you did,
(Don't have to say, what you did)
I already know, I found out from him
(I already know, uh)
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
(No chance, you and me)
And don't it make you sad about it

You told me you loved me
Why did you leave me, all alone
(All alone)
Now you tell me you need me
When you call me, on the phone
(When you call me on the phone)
Girl I refuse, you must have me confused
With some other guy
(I'm not like them baby)
Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn
(It's your turn)
To cry, cry me a river
(Go on and just)
Cry me a river-er
(Go on and just)
Cry me a river
(Baby go on and just)
Cry me a river-er, yea yea

Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be leaving
Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be leaving
Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be leaving
Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be... leaving

You don't have to say, what you did,
(Don't have to say, what you did)
I already know, I found out from him
(I already know, uh)
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
(No chance, you and me)
And don't it make you sad about it

Cry me a river
(Go on and just)
Cry me a river-er
(Baby go on and just)
Cry me a river
(You can go on and just)
Cry me a river-er, yea yea

Cry me a river
(Baby go on and just)
Cry me a river-er
(Go on and just)
Cry me a river
(Cause I've already cried)
Cry me a river-er, yea yea
(Ain't gonna cry no more, yea-yea)

Cry me a river
Cry me a river, oh
Cry me a river, oh
Cry me a river, oh

Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)

Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river
(Cry me, cry me)

Justin looked at the picture that still sat at his nightstand.  He closed his eyes and went back to the day he took that picture of Kelly.

Flashback…

“Justin….please don’t make me take this picture.”  Kelly said as she saw him put the camera up to his eye and start snapping pictures.

“Kelly baby you look amazing.  I promise you I will be the only one with this picture of you.” He took a few more pictures of Kelly in nothing but his white button down shirt. Her long legs and how the bottom of the shirt hit high up on her thighs.  She sat on the window sill.  The shirt was buttoned up to her cleavage.  Her eyes were looking out the window and the light that was coming in was making her angelical face look more beautiful then ever.

Kelly smiled to him as he took the picture.

Justin  took the picture that was there and moved it.  He had to.  He needed to move on with his life.  Even if it meant that he had to do it without being with the woman he loved.  He messed up and now he was paying the price.

As he went to the closet and put the picture in a box.  A box of things that remembered him of a life he could’ve had and should still have.  He was the one that let it go by being the player.  The one that slept around behind her back. 

He went to the bathroom and turned on the shower.  He stripped and went under the warm water.  There he started to think again….

FLASHBACK

:knock:

“yeah?”  Justin said as he was under the water.  He didn’t hear anything at first and kept standing under the water.

Before he knew it, he felt someone behind him.  He then felt a pair of hands on his back washing him.

When he turned around there, Kelly was, naked, getting wet, and getting him hard.

Very shyly, Kelly smiled to Justin and said, “need company?”

Justin smiled down into Kelly’s beautiful blue eyes and cupped her face as he said, “I’ll never turn down company in the shower.” 

Next moment their lips crashed and he started to caress her body.  He lifted her up off the ground, pinned her to the wall and in a swift moment the two became one.

Kelly arched her back as Justin was moving in and out of her.

Justin moaned her name as he felt his end coming.  He breathed heavy as he finished himself off and flet himself go limp.  He opened his eyes. He saw that he was against the wall and sighed.  He fast washed himself up and got out of the shower. 

He walked to the living room and there he turned on the news.  Of course it was extra with the highlight story of the day.  He closed his eyes and fell asleep having the same nightmare he had been having since he last saw Kelly.  That was two weeks ago.

Flashback:

Justin walked into his place late that night. He looked upstairs and sighed.  He thought Kelly would be sleeping.  Hell it was 5 am and he had been out all night again.  Drinking, dancing, screwing another woman.  Only problem is that it wasn’t anyone.  It was Kelly’s best friend.

He went to the living room thinking it was empty and he was shocked to see her awake, and dressed.  “Hey, what…wha.”   He was cut off by Kelly

“What am I doing up?  Why am I dressed? What you think I wasn’t stupid Justin?”  Kelly said as she stood there.

By the look on her face Justin knew he was caught for the last time. He had been doing this to her for a while now.  He had been cheating with other women for over 3 months.  Why he never knew.  He loved Kelly with everything in him.  He just was so used to being the playboy and women throwing themselves at him he would always cave into temptation.

Kelly stood there looking at Justin her heart being broken yet again.  “You know I thought you would have been smarter than this Justin.”

Justin stood there, “Baby please,”  He was cut off again,

“Please what?  Forgive you?  Take you back so you can keep doing this to me?  Nope.  I have been dealing with this for far too long and this is it.  I can’t stand how you can say you love me one moment and think it’s okay to fuck other women.  How can you think that?”

“I…I don’t know…but I do love you Kelly…please give me a chance to change and prove that to you.” Justin said opening his arms.”

Kelly had walked back to the door and said, “No Justin, you had your last shot.”  Kelly turned opened the front door and said, “Don’t follow me and don’t look for me.  Good Bye.”

Justin stood in front of the door in total shock she left him.

:::Two Months Later:::

Justin was hanging out at the club finally starting to get back to his life.  Granted he still had a broken heart that he only had himself to blame for having, but he was enjoying a night out with…with…what was her name…Julie, Jessie, Jamie…hell he didn’t know he was enjoying her beauty.

That was until he saw the one person he was trying to get over.

Kelly walked into the club.  She looked better than ever.  He stopped dancing with the woman he was with.

“baby ill be…right back”  he walked to where Kelly was and smiled as he saw her.

Kelly saw Justin walk to her and almost froze.  She smiled at him.

“Hey Kelly.”  Justin said.

“Hello Justin.”  Kelly said very calm and relaxed.

Justin felt lost, “Kelly, I am still sorry, you think we could talk.  I…I still miss you.”

“Justin, I don’t.  I have finally moved on…you knew this two months ago when you came to my place to get me back then. “  Kelly said,

Justin was about to say something but she cut him off.

“Justin, you cheating the last time was the best thing that could have happened to me.  It led me to JC.  I have always cared for him.  You know the nights I left to go cry somewhere, you ever know where I went.  To his place, or he was at the clubs seeing you and telling me.  He was the first one there when you broke my heart.  He was there as the friend I needed and the man that showed me what love could an is really like.  It’s not what I thought before but boy am I glad I know what it’s supposed to be like now. Love comes from here.”  She raised her left hand and touched her heart. 

Justin looked at her hand and saw the answer he didn’t want to see.  A diamond ring was on her finger telling him everything he had with her was over.  No more chances.  He had too many and the last one was really the last and final one. 

JC walked to Kelly.  “Hey baby girl. Ready to have fun.”  He said as he looked to Justin and just looked at him as if he was glass.  There but transparent.

Justin saw the look Kelly had on her face with Jc.  It was the same look he used to get.  He knew right then and there that it was over.

“Kelly, JC, I….congrats.”  Justin said as he turned and walked away.   He never thought he would see this turn out this way but it did. 

He was now alone.  Without the one he screwed over and screwed up on.

As Justin got into his car to drive home, alone the one song he escaped for months came back on again and haunted him, because now it was his turn to cry himself a river.

You were my sun
You were my earth
But you didn't know all the ways I loved you, no
So you took a chance
And made other plans
But I bet you didn't think that they would come crashing down, no

You don't have to say, what you did,
I already know, I found out from him
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
And don't it make you sad about it

You told me you loved me
Why did you leave me, all alone
Now you tell me you need me
When you call me, on the phone
Girl I refuse, you must have me confused
With some other guy
Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn
To cry, cry me a river
Cry me a river-er
Cry me a river
Cry me a river-er, yea yea

I know that they say
That somethings are better left unsaid
It wasn't like you only talked to him and you know it
(Don't act like you don't know it)
All of these things people told me
Keep messing with my head
(Messing with my head)
You should've picked honesty
Then you may not have blown it
(Yea..)

You don't have to say, what you did,
(Don't have to say, what you did)
I already know, I found out from him
(I already know, uh)
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
(No chance, you and me)
And don't it make you sad about it

You told me you loved me
Why did you leave me, all alone
(All alone)
Now you tell me you need me
When you call me, on the phone
(When you call me on the phone)
Girl I refuse, you must have me confused
With some other guy
(I'm not like them baby)
Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn
(It's your turn)
To cry, cry me a river
(Go on and just)
Cry me a river-er
(Go on and just)
Cry me a river
(Baby go on and just)
Cry me a river-er, yea yea

Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be leaving
Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be leaving
Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be leaving
Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be... leaving

You don't have to say, what you did,
(Don't have to say, what you did)
I already know, I found out from him
(I already know, uh)
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
(No chance, you and me)
And don't it make you sad about it

Cry me a river
(Go on and just)
Cry me a river-er
(Baby go on and just)
Cry me a river
(You can go on and just)
Cry me a river-er, yea yea

Cry me a river
(Baby go on and just)
Cry me a river-er
(Go on and just)
Cry me a river
(Cause I've already cried)
Cry me a river-er, yea yea
(Ain't gonna cry no more, yea-yea)

Cry me a river
Cry me a river, oh
Cry me a river, oh
Cry me a river, oh

Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)

Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river
(Cry me, cry me)