Once upon a time, a little fairy princess named Becca was flying through the woods one day. She came upon a dwarf who was stuck inside a log, stubby feet sticking out of the end of it kicking. As if that would help get his fat body free, thought the fairy.

"Dag nabit! My stupid hips are too big!" The dwarf cried out in frustration. The fairy giggles and hovers over the log, farting out an immense cloud of magic dust that landed on the log. The log expanded to twice it size setting the little man free.

"Wow. That was cool." The log goes back to its original size. He looks up at the fairy. "Damn fairy, do all girls wear that?" He whistles, taking in her tiny very-exposed body.

"What is that suppose to mean?" She crosses her arms.

"Cause your the only one who can work that outfit! Damn girl!" He arches his eyebrows and growl sexily at her. The fairy blushes. "Man... I wish I was bigger."

"Why do you say that?" The fairy asks the dwarf flying down near his face.

"Cause women don't like men as small as me." He pouts.

"There is nothing wrong with that! Being small can be a wonderful thing! You can fit into small tight places easier."

"That is true. Very true." He smiles. "You ever wish you could be bigger?"

"I'm a girl, sweetheart. We don't grow any." The dwarf looks at her funny.

"Um... are we talking about the same thing here?"

"What are you talking about?" She uncrosses her arms.

"I'm talking about how tall I am!" He throws his arms up in the air.

"Oh..." The fairy giggles again. "I was thinking about your friend down south." He looks down at his crotch, then looks back at her furious.

"For your information I have the biggest one of them all!"

"You do?" He unbuttons his pants and drops them along with his boxers. "Wow... you do."

"You would like to get a piece of this action wouldn't you?" He points his finger down and grins.

"Not really." She flies off and the dwarf sighs.

"I always screw up on flirting." He looks into the log, pulling his pants back up. "Ugh my helmet is still in there!" He scrambles back inside and grabs his helmet smiling... then frowning.

"I'm stuck again!" He swears under his breath. Everything seems silent around him. "Someone help me... again!" He whimpers. “I think there are bugs in here.”

Meanwhile the fairy was flying back to her home when she hears his cries once more. She sighs deeply. “They never learn do they?” She turns around and flies back to the log.

But all of a sudden is smashed between two hands.

*

"Ugh I hate flies!" Jordan wipes her hands on her pants and keeps walking up the trial. “I wonder how far ahead Chris has gotten?” She walks into a clearing surrounded by trees. She sees legs sticking out from a small log. "Chris, how many times have I told you not to climb through those things?"

"Help me! There are spiders in here!" Jordan sets her bag on the ground groaning.

“You better have a good reason for climbing in there.” She grabs a hold of his ankles and pulls until he is all the way free, helmet held tightly in his hands.

“I left my helmet in there.” He puts it back on his head.

“How did it get there in the first place?”

Chris then explains his story to her. By the end of it she was completely bored.

“I hate your army hat and your stupid stories about fairies.” She picks up her bag and continues up the trail.

“But they are real I tell you. REAL!” Jordan rolls her eyes.

“You are the fairy Chris... now hurry up we have to meet the others at the top of the hill before your boyfriends freaks.”

“At least Justin believes though.” Chris picks up his bag and hurries up the hill. Turning his head, he stares back at the log. He swears he sees a group of fairies fly through the clearing.

TA-DA!