Behind smiles and hand me downs, we're all looking for that light, a little scared of the dark.

Like a freight train, his heart began to race down the tracks, pounding out of his chest. A simple look from her made his stomach do somersaults, so when she was touching him, he lost all control. "Ugh" escaped his lungs as he is shoved against the cool steel of a laundry rack. They both chuckled when the clean towels and sheets tumble off the racks, scattering to the floor. His hands were all over her, removing items of clothing in a frantic. His lips never left his point of interest. She latched her legs around his waist, forcing his lips to meet the groove of her neck, the one place that he knew would drive her wild in an instant.

"It's been too long..." she whispered, grabbing handfuls of his hair, intertwining the strands through her fingers.

He smiled against her neck, whispering back, "It's only been hours... "

"Too many hours." She jumped down, pulling him to the floor. "Give me what I want."

He didn't argue with her, it was exactly what he wanted as well.

Rendezvous like this one were ever-so-common between the two of them. Meeting in hotel linen closets was a daily challenge they found themselves in. They enjoyed the adrenaline rush of the secrecy, but the secrets were more than skin deep.

*

Charlie lived the American dream.

Star of his high school football and basketball team. Prom king. Captain of the cheerleading squad on his arm.  Every top school in the country and abroad, vying for him to sign on the dotted line at their University. He even landed a position at one the top law firm in New York City, just weeks after passing the bar exam. 

But those were the glory days.

That's him now, the one exhausted with the blonde bombshell sitting atop his chest, out of breathe.

Charlie Brown. No, not the comic strip character, that Charlie Brown probably had it more together than this one did. A fall from grace was an understatement. Most would think he was putting the pieces of his life back together, but they didn't know his dark secrets.

The girl, Lilianna, not his wife, not even his girlfriend. And he shouldn't be watching as she puts her clothes back on. He shouldn't be enjoying the view of her gorgeous body as much as he was, but he couldn't help himself.

He can remember the very day he realized he had fallen in love with her. Not a day he likes to remember too often. He fought that feeling for months before he finally let himself feel it. But when he did feel it, the feeling was worse than he ever imagined. He thought he could handle what she was offering him. He thought it was infatuation, he thought he just needed laid, and if he slept with her, the feelings would dissipate, the infatuation would vanish... but he was wrong.

He was hopelessly in love with the girl.

There was something that stood in his way. There was someone that stood in his way.

Being the star of his high school football team, prom king, and the captain of the cheerleading squad on his arm, he didn't have a worry in life or love. He got what he wanted. He had it all.

Until the dream shattered around him.

He lost a case, costing the firm millions, resulting in losing his amazing job. His long nights of drinking, stumbling into the brownstone apartment highly intoxicated ran its course.  His high school sweetheart, made the fateful decision to end their marriage, claiming he had lost his way. She was right, he had lost his way.

His dear friend, JC Chasez, offered him a job that would keep him busy and in many different places, and the stay there would be short and sweet. It was what he needed. A constant getaway seemed like a perfect solution.

JC's career was back in a way he thought his friend deserved. It was great to see that smile on his face again. Granted he had only met JC through Tyler years ago, but they quickly became friends without Tyler around.

Charlie took the job with JC, sold his New York City apartment, and showed up in Los Angeles with a single bag in hand, to a gorgeous, tall blonde awaiting him at the airport.

She stood in terminal with a sign that read, ‘Browner, Charlie' that was upside down. She was a bit flighty and the complete opposite of his wife, well ex-wife now. He instantly felt in awe of her. Even though she had misspelled his name, and unsure if she was actually the person he was supposed to meet, he followed her through the airport and into the awaiting car. She was gorgeous, he couldn't deny that. He was single, he was allowed to look at other women at free will, only she wasn't single but that didn't stop her.

Which is how he ended up here, basking in the glory of her, again.

"I'll see you later..." Lilianna threw a smirk at him.

Charlie nodded his head agreeing with her. He knew he would cave in again and they would find themselves in a dark room, somewhere, doing something they shouldn't be doing, again.

Digging in her pocket she pulls out her room key and her jewelry. She turns back towards him, the sunlight streaming through the small window catches a sparkle off the glass that rested on her ring finger.

Charlie's throat began to close off, his stomach had a pit the size of the grand canyon. "Lilli..."

She looked up at him beaming of their afterglow, she smiled at him. "Browner..."

He grabbed a hold of her hand, pulling her left hand to his view. "Wha- what's this?" His voice trembled along with his hands.

She dropped her hand out of his, suddenly becoming shy. "Nothing."

"Nothing?" He barked, "Looks like a little pricey piece of jewelry on a very important finger, for nothing. How could you..."

"I love him." She snapped back with. "You've always known that this was, what it was."

She dropped a bomb, a four karat bomb, that instantly broke his soul into a billion pieces, but she didn't mean it. She was in love with him. Only the him she was referring to wasn't the man standing in front of her right now, pulling up his boxers. She was chasing a dream of love, and that dream was being Mrs. Joshua Chasez, not Mrs. Charlie Brown.

He was in love with his boss's girl. He was madly in love with his friend's girl. It broke every friend code in the book and he didn't know what to do to fix it.

"When?" Charlie asked.

"We haven't set a date. It just..." She answered pulling her top over her head and adjusting it into position.

"No." He interrupted, "When did he propose? When, when did you say you would marry him?"

She ran her hand through her hair, slowly turning back to him with a slight twinge of guilt. "As the sun was setting last night over the ocean, he dropped to one knee and pulled out the most gorgeous ring I'd ever seen and asked me to make him the happiest man alive." She refused to look Charlie in the eye, "As cheesy as that sounds, it was perfect and he makes me happy."

"And you said yes?" He maneuvered around her, nearly shoving her out of his way out the door, "And then you met me here?"

Lilliana stood frozen by his coldness. A coldness she had never experienced coming from anyone, let alone him.

Charlie darted down the hallway and onto the elevator in daze. His heart, his soul, and his every being were shattered. Vacation wasn't supposed to be heartbreaking, even if it was a working vacation.

The steel doors were a gray blur and when they opened again he pushed through the awaiting crowd into the lobby. He felt his elbow push into someone, before he could apologize a familiar voice chimed in, "Charlie? You okay?"

Swinging around, Charlie swallowed his pride, "I'm fine JC. I just... I need some fresh air."

"I can go with you..." He stepped out of the way of the others trying to exit the elevator. "I need to tell you some things anyways. Something I'm sure you won't believe..."

"NO." He immediately answered, "I need to be alone."Charlie had never scorned JC in that matter before.

JC watched as his friend looked lost, there was something different about Charlie that he knew would change everything. "Okay, well we will talk later. I have some exciting news to share."

Charlie didn't let him go into any more details. He already knew what he had to tell him. He was long gone out the front door of the lobby and into the crowds that hovered around him. In a tunnel vision he listened to the mumblings of everyone around him. Not actually understanding or hearing a word they were saying.

He knew the betrayal he had served to his friend wasn't the right choice in any shape or form, but the idea that she got engaged to marry his friend, less than twenty four hours before they slept together again was beyond anything he ever thought they, or she would ever do.

*-*

Charlie's hands smoothed over the sheet of paper, creasing each line over one another. A pile of menus now formed into paper airplanes stacked on the table next to the multiple empty glasses. The ice still remained in the cups, but the liquid had disappeared quickly.

He stood at the balcony, tossing the paper airplanes into the wind. Watching as each of them crisscrossed through the wind before finally landing on the pavement seconds before a tourist stepped on it. Crushing a part of him.

The last paper airplane left his hand and circling around a couple that were staring out into the ocean. The woman was lightly caressing the back of the man's neck. She watched closely into his eyes as he spoke, even when he wasn't looking at her, she watched him. They were in love, hopelessly in love.

He wanted that. He wanted that feeling of being loved again.

Deep in the depths of his soul he knew what he had to do.

When he had returned to the hotel, Charlie packed his things quickly. He didn't want to discuss with anyone, anything. He didn't believe Lilliana deserved any explanation and he couldn't bear the pain of telling his best friend that after everything he had done for him, he had an affair with his now fiancé. He would just disappear and hoped that JC would discover who he was marrying before it was too late.

He sits and fumbles with his hands and piece of paper, folding paper airplanes once again. It was always something that comforted him. It was something that would clear his mind.

Final boarding call for Flight 1326 to New York City.

The words echoed through his head. He knew he had to get up and go. This was his flight, but his feet were somehow planted on the floor of that terminal.

"Browner..." A female voice yelled across the airport. "BROWNER!" She yelled louder as her sprint got even faster.

Charlie was stunned, Liliana had come for him. 

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

Her face beamed with enjoyment. "I came, for you. You can't leave me..."

Like a scene out of a movie, she had come to him. It was the grand gesture he wanted. "I deserve better than what you can offer me..." He finally admitted, shocking even himself at his words. He swallowed the truth in his throat. "I don't love you, but I always will." Charlie turned and started to walk into his gate. Whatever was holding him there, no longer had a hold over him. His feet were moving in the right direction.

"Charlie... I was wrong..." She pleaded, reaching out to grab his wrist. "Please..." Pulling her hair to one side she becomes fidgety when she realized that this time she wasn't going to get what she wanted. Her perfect run at getting the guy was coming to a screeching halt.

He turns back, takes a few steps towards her. A smile rests upon her face again, but then he delivered the bomb. "Does JC know you're here? Did you tell him that you were going to chase me down to the airport to stop me? Did you tell him that we've slept together? Hell, did you call off your engagement?"

She stood in silence, which gave him the confirmation he needed. He found the light he was a little scared to find. He found his way out of the mess he had created for himself.

"Go back to the hotel, to JC. It's all you have ever wanted." Charlie closed his eyes, finding the strength he needed to deliver the words to her. "And I'm gonna go find someone that actually cares more about my heart than my hard on." He turned towards the flight attendant who was waiting on him to board the flight, he hands her his boarding pass and turns back to Lilliana, "Go back to your fiancé, it's where you belong." The pressure he felt surrounding his heart released. "And I'd advise you to tell him everything, because I won't let my friend marry someone that is holding the amount of secrets you are from him."

He walked down the corridor to the plane with a sense of competition. His heart may have been broken, his friendship may never be mended, but he did what was right for him.

Underneath it all we're just kids, with big dreams and a stubborn heart.