Memphis is a place where you say 'I'm going to see my grandparents', or 'I'm visiting my auntie who just had a baby'. There weren't that many parties, or parties I knew of. I'm the in-between. I'm in the queue to get out, along with the others.

Of course, there are some of us teenagers, but we've outgrown Memphis, and we're the forgotten ones, left behind on the train platform. I wouldn't say all of us are trying to get out. Most of us are lazy, drop out of high school teens, living off our moms. Not that I didn't drop out. I would've, but I kept going.

I'm not challenged, I just don't have a route to better things. I'm still making my map, unlike the lucky ones who had theirs drawn for them. Shit heads! Hey I'm Kieele (pronounced "ki-eel") Jenkins. I'm 18. I have a small part-time job, and I finished school and graduated with high class honors. I live with my friend, Whitney. She's an over-confident little kitten. She can be a real bitch. I think that's why most girls think twice about saying things about her, but she's the best friend I could ask for.

Do I have a boyfriend? Yeah. Where is he, you ask? I don't know. He ain't all bad, this is Justin we are talking about. For years I've had to fight off boyfriend-stealing hoes from him. He's just too damn good looking! If he knew I said all this, he would get all big headed, but since age five, he had girls chasing him. It was the curls, but he chopped them off and now his hair is tighter than ever. His body is over fine, and everyone knows. You catch girls taking a much longer route, just to go past the woods to catch him half naked, building that river at work.

That's just his morning job. At night...well, I'm not too proud of what he does, but I've done my best to stop him from doing what he does, but he's Justin. He wins me every time I bring it up. Yes, I am weak. I can't be stronger than him. I used to, but now I have other people to think about. Until they've grown up, I'm going to look after them.

Justin Timberlake was destined for many things. He was the hottie on the block who went to private school, did all the spelling B competitions, but everyone knew not to say anything about that. I have a different Justin. I have my boo, my Jay. I have my daddy, which nobody has grace calling him.

I am Justin's high school sweetheart. He's the best boyfriend, and treats me like a queen in our private time. Justin slipped up though on our break. That was the worst thing we had ever gone through, but he apologised continuously. He was a thug outside, but he definitely had you like putty in his hands.

Boy, me and Justin can fight though. We've had the worst of worst fights. I can't say we have the perfect relationship. It's fucked up in so many ways, but after every fight, there is definitely a good make up after. You may say it's not healthy, but it helps us, and it's what has kept us together for so long.

How are we now, you ask? Shit. I'm bringing up the same argument these days, so it's not working like it used to, but Justin Jr, yes Justin's son, my boy, has hardly seen his dad, 'cause he seems to be working all the time. I'm complaining, okay? I would like Junior to spend some time with his father before it's too late.

  Memphis is my home, baby. My roots, where my boys are all at, my special hot spots. Memphis is definitely the shit. It's country I know. I ain't a red neck. Don't be trying any of that! I already got my girl whispering red neck now and then.

I'm Justin Timberlake. Yeah, ladies, that's right, the sexy white boy. Gimme a call and we can chat. I'm the hardcore shit in this town. No, I ain't some little rich boy. I got shit at home. I live with my drunken ass pops.

Enough of that. Let's talk about my world, Kieele. Don't tell her I'm saying this, she'll start getting all big headed and shit, but Kieele is hot stuff! Even when she was pregnant, she had guys looking at her, and other fat women thinking maybe they can be hot, but that's only with my baby.

Kieele, she's such a damn tease! I catch too many guys talking shit about her, saying they tapped it. One thing is first, Kieele gave me her virginity, and the only person she better let tap her is me, Justin! I'm glad I took her virginity. Don't look at me like that! It was special and shit. Just how she wanted it.

I can be a bit too quick to fight someone who says they tapped her first. I admit I don't think, and go for them. Stupid, but they shouldn't run they're mouth innit. Then we have nosey people thinking I don't care about her, that shit they shouldn't worry about. Of course I care! She's my queen and she just needs to know that. Nobody else.

I most definitely have to chat about my boys. Ray first. We were born together. He's the good one. He don't wanna leave Memphis without me, even though he got scholarships. He's doing good, big job and shit. I know to go to him whenever I need cash. He trusts that I give it back to him...in a year's time.

Danny, he's the mad one. He has no brain at all! He never thinks before he acts and that's what gets him in all sorts of shit we have to pull him out of. He's hitting Kieele's room mate, Whitney.

Kenny and James, they down for you with anything. So, that's mainly it.

Am I forgetting someone? Nah... Oh shit, Junior! Kieele would kick my ass! My son, my baby boy. He's just born. I'm getting used to being a father. Jr is very healthy. Just right. He's got my childhood curls and my blue eyes. There was a lot of talk about Jr not being my baby, 'Justin is too dark to be mine.' The boy is light skinned! People forget I have my mocca choca girl, but we settled all that.

Juniofr is going to be a daddys boy, I know. I'm so proud of him already! Justin Ricky Timberlake. Kieele picked the middle name. I just know for sure our next baby (no reason to think there will be one soon) is gonna get a freaky ass name like hers. Kieele is sexy! I call her Special K. Yeah, I know, Cornflakes. She cusses me about it, but she thinks it's cute and that.

"K, what it do?"
I stare at him for a bit more, my face emotionless, until my mouth breaks into a small smile; he takes my hand and leads me to the couch, putting my feet on his lap.
"Have you slept?" he asks, rubbing my feet.
I moan at the gentle, soft, ticklish feeling it's giving me. "Not that much, but I will. What you doing here?"
"I came to see Junior and you, but all I'm getting is your feet."
I laugh gently, swinging my legs over him. "Junior is asleep, Jay, and I'm all yours," I say, sitting on his lap, about to lean in for a kiss, when Whitney walks in.

"Justin, where's that boy, Danny?"
Justin moves his head to see Whitney smiling. "He's a lazy punk," he pauses as she still waits for an answer, "Whit, he's sleeping."
"Why can't you lazy mo-fo get a watch and wake up like the rest of us. Morning is non-existent in their minds," Whitney went off cussing to her room.
I watched Justin look at his watch. "Do you have to be somewhere?" I ask softly.
"Nah, I'm thinking I can satisfy you in 10 minutes, eat, watch football, then go back with you, have a shower and go to work."
My jaw fell open at what Justin just said. He was obviously in a good, playful mood 'cause he was smiling like a fool, wagging his eyebrow for my approval, which he wasn't going to get.
"Kieele, you know you got a big mouth. I wonder if some of my goods can fit."
He pushed it now! I hit his arm and got up.
"Kay, I'm playing. Come back!" he said, laughing as I carried on walking down the hall.
I didn't have to look behind to know he was coming. Just as I opened my door, Whitney stepped out in her work clothes. I check the clock for the time. "Aren't you early?"
"Isn't Justin early? I'm not staying to hear, y'all. Bye," she waved as she walked out the apartment.
Justin picked me up kicking the already opened door to my bedroom.

I slept for an hour, and Justin laid by my side, sorting out his work stuff. I stirred, stretching out. Something my body was in great need for.
"K, you'll kick me off."
I stopped and opened my eyes to him. I didn't think he would stay and not complain or whine.

"Justin, are you okay?"
"I'm-"
"Lying," I said, knowing the next word was going to be a lie.
"I haven't said a lie yet. I gave money to my pops to buy some groceries, since he been complaining that I don't trust him. So, I gave it to him and all he buys is alcohol, crisps and grapes. What the fuck can you make with that shit?"
I sat up, listening to him. I placed my hand over his. He still cared for his dad, even though he was a drunk, and Justin was always helping him. Justin was the one bringing the money into his home.

"Justin, you know you can come eat here."
He turned to me, putting his papers down, "Yeah, I know. This is the only place I eat good proper food. K, I was thinking about you."
"Thinking isn't good for you, Justin," I joked, smiling.
"You got jokes, Kay, you got jokes. Nah, like, I was really thinking about you."
"What about?"
"You look good pregnant."
"That's what you were thinking about? When I had a fat stomach, when you complained and whinged more than me about having to be celibate, and my mood swings?" I ranted on.
"I get it, Kay. Nah, I'm just saying you're beautiful."
My face softened and I stared at Justin. He looked back at me, his eyes shining.
"What's brought this on?"
"I hear ya, Kay. You think I don't. I know you wanna go, and I promise we will. Wait," he said, stopping me before I could cut in. "I always promise, I know, but we will leave. I just need time to draw up my map, Baby."
I couldn't believe what Justin was saying. I was always the one bringing up this conversation, and he hated it. The look on his face shows he's serious.

"Okay," I whispered. It wasn't an answer I wanted to give, but that was all that would come out. Justin stood up and moved around my room to the window, which had a chair by it. He sat down, looking outside. I wanted to say something, ask him what was bringing this all up, why was he acting different.

"K, you know my ma?"
"Uh-huh."
"Well, I was reading the paper. Don't say anything. I was reading, and at the back there was a woman who gave birth. Her name was Lynn."
"Where?"
"Orlando"
"You think it might be her?"
"Maybe. I don't care anyway. I was just saying. It's not like I'm going to go there," his attitude has changed, and he was becoming slightly bitter towards the chat about his ma.
"You've always wanted to go South."
"Not to see her. Shit, Kay. I'm going to check on Junior."
"Justin!" I called, but he just walked out. I sighed. Justin was touchy when he talked about his parents or family. Justin's private life is private. Sometimes private even from me. Way back, back when I was small, I had always known Justin, but he was becoming the next best entrepreneur and we didn't talk, but he came back and life for him fell apart, and we met up again when I was in high school but he was a very different Justin to the one I had grown up with.

I climbed off the bed and slowly walked to the baby room, and found Justin changing Junior's diaper. I smiled. Now and then I caught Justin being the dad I wanted him to be, but I wish it was more often. I stood at the door, watching Justin without him knowing. He looked up to me when the door shut.

I stood behind him, wrapping my arms round his waist.
"Kay, I gotta go." I frowned. I was hoping he might come out with me and Junior. Spend some time together like a family would do. "I have to go out too."
"With J, right?"
"Yes, of course. I thought you might wanna come."
"Nah. I got some work to do, but another day," he turned around once he finished Junior. His hand ran through my hair, then landed on my shoulder.

"Kay, don't look at me like that. We will, us three. Where you going anyway?"
"Park," I answered.
"You ready for that? You tell me who looks at Junior a little longer than necessary."
"It's just the park."
"What about that argument?" He asked, countering.
"What about the whipped cream after? We sorted it out, it's fine. I'll be okay."
"You sure? I don't want you upset."
"Justin, you have each and every one of your boys watching Junior," I smiled, kissing his hand, "I'll be fine."
He sighed, looking down then back at me. He leaned in for a kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and his arms snaked around my waist. I pulled away, gasping for a breath.
"You better go."
He nodded. He kissed Junior, then me one more time. His phone rang as he was ready to walk out the bedroom.

"Kenny, what it do?" I tried to listen, bringing Junior out.
"Trace and Danny fighting with who? A'ite, I'll be there soon." Shoving his jacket on, he whispered, "Call the boys."
"Bye,"
He looked over his shoulder and shot me a pearly smile, and shut the door. I held onto the table, balancing myself. Damn that boy, making me weak on the knees!

Since I found out, I've been smiling. Whitney has got the music playing loud in our living room, which easily travels through all the rooms, and I'm jumping up and downs getting ready for this party. Whitney has also kindly offered to do my hair and I have to say it does look banging. It was a bit of a struggle looking for all my good old clothes, and I was scared none of them would fit, but they were perfect. Someone up there likes me!

I was so giddy, skipping everywhere like a small child does when they are excited about something really special. I must say it's been a very long time you see, since I've been to a party. I don't have to worry about Justin or his guys being there. This was just about me having the fun I had missed out on.

"Kieele, calm down. It's just a house party. No VIP. no birthday."
I stopped still, but I was still smiling. I rolled my eyes, waving a hand. "I know that. Can't I be excited?"
She sighed, "Do what you have to do, but we gotta go soon."
I nodded, skipping to get my shoes. They were in their box with the green tissue paper. My favourite heels for when I hit the clubs, except this ain't a club, it's a house party. My toes were painted a lime green to match my green, lace top. Justin would murder me if he saw what I was wearing. He wouldn't murder me actually, he would eat me alive! I smiled, thinking of seeing Justin jealous to match my top, and how much he actually does care about me.

I wouldn't say the top is low cut, just shows I have big cleavage. Whitney drove us there, as I have no links to any other friends or people besides Justin, his boys and Whitney. I recognized the house though and just nodded, hoping my memory would jolt and remind me. I couldn't put my finger on who it might be. Whitney led me inside. She introduced me to a few people, then went to get a drink. We both stood against the wall, watching the crowd dance.

"Kieele, bathroom."
I nodded and followed her upstairs.
"Do I look okay?" she asked.
I smiled, looking in the mirror, patting my hair down, "Of course you do. It's been a long time since I've been to one of these... I don't know if I know how to dance."
Whitney burst out laughing, as I giggled at my nervous voice.
"Girl, you were the hottest dancer back in school!" Whitney cried.
"I'm all burnt out."
She shook her head, placing a hand over her mouth in case she laughed even harder, "Well, we're gonna have to light your fire."
I laughed with her, as we went downstairs. We both noticed the hype had increased, and then our tune came on.

We strutted our stuff to the floor and begun the step. In the middle, me and Whitney stopped and sang the words to each other.

We were in our own world doing our own special moves. I could sense eyes on us, but it just made us stay doing our own thing, even sexier.

Me and Whitney held hands and danced closer to each other.

It all just reminding me of our teasing days. Me and Whitney were just inches apart, dancing. I knew why guys didn't come up to us as soon as we had eyes on us. I was with Justin.

After me and Whitney took a break, we started breaking out conversation against the wall.
"We have to do it, K."
I knew what she was talking about, but if word ever got 'round to Justin, he wouldn't be at all happy. "I can't," I told her, shaking my head.
"Justin ain't gonna be here." I didn't like the idea, but memories of high school came back. I was tempted. Very tempted. Whitney was right in some ways. I should be out there having fun. It's been maybe a year or more since I've done this. I deserve it.

R. Kelly's smooth voice made it's way to the speakers, and the hype had came up, and me and Whitney were pulled into the crowd, both our hips held on by some guy wanting to dance. I pushed back on him, smiling, knowing what I was doing to him. I missed having the feeling of other people around me, enjoying the music I was enjoying, and the company of other people my age.

Whitney looked up at me and then someone stood in front. It was Danny, not looking at all happy. The guy behind immediately let go and moved away, putting his hands up as if he was doing nothing. If Danny was here, Justin was close by. The crowd suddenly went silent, and I knew I had to get away from this guy if I didn't want trouble. I moved forward away, but he held on tighter.

"I need to go," I told him, knowing Justin probably had walked into the party.
"You don't need to go anywhere, Baby."
"Let go, please."
He stroked his head next to mine, and I tried to wriggle free. He smelled of alcohol.
"Let go!" I begged.
He just pushed his now hardened sex onto me, making me shudder and squeeze my eyes tight, wishing I was anywhere but here. Seconds later, I saw him on the floor.

"Listen when a lady asks you something!" Justin just punched him to the floor.
I stepped over him, holding Justin's hand.
"Son of a bitch!" the guy cried, jumping up.
Justin looked more than ready to have this fight. He had let go of my hand and pushed me back. Out of nowhere Danny, Trace, Kenny and John appeared around him, blocking me from Justin.

"Don't you ever go near her!" Justin warned, pointing a finger.
Whitney saw me and rushed towards me, holding my hand.
"Or what?" the guy sneered.
Justin smiled, and this guy must not have noticed he was surrounded.
"Smile, white boy, we were the ones having dry sex!"
My eyes widened. Justin cut the distance in an instant, throwing fists. Everyone was screaming. Arms were in the air, pushing, shouting, and I was just going to stand there.

"Justin!" I cried, making my way. Everyone had moved forward to watch, and do nothing, and stood shoulder-to-shoulder, making it almost impossible for me to get to him. I pushed people out of the way, grabbing his hand and arm, pulling him away. I didn't want him to get hurt, but that was close to never.

Once we were outside, Justin snatched his arm away. I spun around, confused.
"What were you doing with him?" he demanded.
"Me? We were just dancing," I defended, keeping my voice hushed, as we caught peoples attention.
"Looked more like- "
"Justin, don't go there! I was just dancing. How was I meant to know he would consider it dry sex?"
"Do you know who that is?" he asked, his voice a bit quieter.
"Do I care? Why would you start a fight like that?" I shouted. Justin knew I hate fights, or I hate seeing when things get out of hand. Justin didn't just fight. He didn't like to get his hands dirty, and that was a very dirty fight.
"You have no clue!" he cried, rubbing his face, walking more down the street.
"About what?" I asked, catching up with him.
"That's Rory!" he laughed, coldly shaking his head.
"Who's that?"
"Back, way back, me and the guys made a bet that we could get their girls and have their panties to show."
"So, what was he gonna do?" I asked, my arms folded.
"Figure it out!" we turned around to arguing and shouting. We watched a couple of houses ahead, as Rory and his friends got into cars. They slowed down when they got to me and Justin.
"Baby, it was good. Any longer I would've cummed."
I felt like throwing up. Justin was boiling now, but he was powerless. The guy laughed and drove off quickly. Justin looked down at me, and began walking away without a second glance.
"Justin!" I shouted, running up to him.
"I don't want to hear it."
"I didn't do shit, J!"
"No shit, Kay!" I caught up with him, turning him around roughly to look at me.
"Justin, don't just walk away from me. I didn't know it was some sick thing between you two. I'm sorry." I felt the tears brim at my eyes.
Justin sighed, rolling his neck, then brought a thumb up, stroking my cheek.
"It's okay, I'm sorry too, but damn, Kay! What you doing dressing like that? And don't say you didn't mean to!"
I was speechless. I didn't have an answer that would make him happy.
"You know full well you catch every guy's eye. You're such a freaky tease."
I laughed. Hearing what he was saying to me didn't worry me. He wasn't angry.
He kissed my forehead, hugging me tightly.

"Justin, what up. That shit need to be sorted?" Danny asked. Whitney hit his arm, shutting him up.
"Kay, did you hear?" Whitney asked me with a disgusted look on her face. I nodded, folding my arms, giving Justin a disappointed look.
"Panty Posse, y'all are nasty," they laughed, as we stormed forward back to the party.

So, when we danced it was different. Me and Whitney went straight in the middle, doing our close dancing. No guy was even going to come close, so I felt at ease whilst me and Whitney danced. My eye went to the door, and Justin and his guys came in, laughing about something. He searched the crowd, and Danny tapped his shoulder and pointed in my direction. His eye connected with mine. One of his eyebrows shot up and he smiled, rubbing his hands together. He made his way towards me, taking both my hands. Justin guided my hips onto his front.

"I wanna do something freaky to you," Justin whispered in my ear.
I pushed back onto him that bit extra, and I could feel him hardening on me. Once the song was finished, I stared up to Justin as he did the same. Justin kissed my neck, whispering for me to get my things.

He drove to his house. Now, it's been a long time since I've been there. Justin had quite a big house for just them two, and when I did go I was always surprised it still looked like Claire was there - his mother. You never would think there was a drunk. Justin tells me that he tells his dad to drink in his room or outside, never in places he likes to keep tidy. I know, a tidy boyfriend. Unbelievable!

Justin led me upstairs to his room; his room was intoxicated by his scent. His room amazed me. It always felt like it was the first time I go in there. I don't question why I never go to his place. I know why.

I almost missed the pictures of me. It wasn't excessive, it was just I never thought he would have such a big ass portrait of him and me. Then a picture of Junior, or even the drawing of me. It must have been done secretly. I've never said yes to anyone to do a drawing of me. I wanted to say something I had the biggest urge to stop and ask him why, but it's his things.

I looked back at Justin. Putty in his hands, as I kneeled on his bed. He smiled, making me melt. He leaned in closer. Our chests heaving at the same time, as his hands worked to take off my top.

Why did I count the days? Because I made a bet with Whitney how long I could keep away without Justin saying a word. My other reason would definitely have to be the fact we don't use protection. I'm up for safe, but we just don't use them or feel the need to.

I sometimes feel like I owe Justin. Before I was going to lose my virginity, I told him to go to the clinic, and he did, after very long battles. They say the wait makes a man go crazy. Makes them actually think about each and every nasty thing they've done, and with who. I could see it in Justin. Him changing and going through that deep stage. From then, I think we just have this trust between us that is strong when it comes to us being sexual. I would like to use condoms. That is what got me pregnant, we didn't use one.

Justin ain't like those guys that say 'we don't need it'. He will use it if I ask, or now and then. It's the heat of the moment which gets us in trouble.

"What you thinking about?" Justin whispered, kissing my arm. He opened his eyes, yawning. He turned to face me properly, leaning on one of his arms. "Justin, we should use condoms."
He smiled cheekily, his fingertips gently tapping my waist. "We should, shouldn't we?"
"Yes. I'm not going to be a mom to two children at 18, Jay" I warned him.
"Alright. Did you have one today?" he asked smartly, already knowing the answer.
"No."
"Well, no argument there."
"You want me to carry 'round a condom? Justin, do you know how many ideas people will get?"
He looked at me, shocked. "Don't carry them then. I will. Shit Kay, you can never be a loser."
"No baby, I can't. What's with the drawing? I don't remember agreeing to that."
He sat up to look, then slumped back down sighing. I still looked at the drawing it was really good, professional sort of.

"Some kid owed me money... don't ask. I saw you and I knew he could draw, so I told him to sit there and draw me a portrait of you. It was going to be a present, but I liked it, so I kept it. I think it's you with your arty museum that's got me into pictures."
"The candles?" I questioned next.
"Candles are sexy. It gets you in the mood" he whispered, kissing my neck softly. I shuffled away from him.
"Is that a Spelling Bee trophy, Justin?" I wrapped a sheet around me to go see it in his wardrobe.
He took the next sheet and got out quickly. "Kay, I tell you, stop looking for geek shit."
"How do you know?" I asked, but he gripped my waist.
"Your eyes search every corner of my room." he guided me back to the bed, sighing.
"Justin, you know you will always be my geek."
"I regret telling you."
"Aww, come on baby. I'm sorry. You're still thuggish to me."
He rolled his eyes, grabbing my thigh. "Kieele, you're such a dork." he laughed, running fingers through my hair.
"Justin, you're a geek."
"You're gonna regret that, Kay."

He was just about to get me when we heard shouting downstairs. Justin got out of the bed, putting some shorts on, and headed down the stairs. I decided to put my clothes on. When I saw what I looked like, I changed and opened his wardrobe. Half of his things were missing, and there was a suitcase. I ignored it to put clothes on. I wonder what's that for? I walked downstairs. There were more voices.

I heard Whitney crying. "Whit!" I called.
She looked up and ran to me for a hug.
"What's going on?" I asked her, but she was in a state. Justin was collecting things in a rush, and that's what worried me the most, "What are you doing? What's happened?"
"Rory went 'round your place and went for Whitney."
"OMG, did he rape her?"
"No. He got knocked out, but we all need to go."
"What? Why? Justin, talk to me!" I let go of Whitney as she went to Danny.

"Kieele, go home. Get all your things."
"All my things ain't gonna fit in a suitcase."
"Kieele, I had it planned. Just not this soon. A black truck will come by and take all your things for storage."
"For how long?" I asked. I may not have known much about it, but I knew they weren't going to be there for a whole day.
"However long I want it. I'm going to get Junior. You have by 6, then meet me by our blue spot."
"Blue spot?" I questioned. I should've asked more info about a blue spot, or for Justin to actually tell me where.

"Kay, you know. Just sort your shit now."
I looked at him, but he carried on collecting his things. Whitney was wiping away her tears, trying to calm down, but everything just wanted to make her cry. I didn't understand. Justin wanted to leave town. Were we leaving because trouble might start? I did as I was told. This was the time that I didn't argue. I'm happy, I'm leaving, but I didn't like the circumstances. Whitney was attacked and we only briefly spoke as we drove in the car. She told me she knocked him out with a pot, and Danny took the body somewhere.

Whitney and I didn't waste time. We didn't know how this would go down, but we just had to do what they said. Questions went through our minds, like was everyone going together? Did everyone want to leave? Ray had a good job, but he always said he had jobs lined up and could move all his things in a flash. The truck was there before us, and four men helped us take everything. Chairs, carpets, cups. We didn't have to leave anything behind. No conversation was started between them and us. I did wonder how Justin got this, or any of them. I thought about Justin with Junior all afternoon and it did bring a smile on my face.

It began to hit me that I had absolutely no clue what was meant by blue spot. What's a blue spot? I understand hot spot, but not blue! Why did Justin have to be puzzles? Blue water is the river where he works. Blue. Shit, he was called blue once. His favourite colour is baby blue, but that doesnÕt help.

I went into labour at the park in the evening. Does evening mean blue? The sky becomes blue. Great, now I sound stupid! Alright, so far I have the park, which is by the river. Blue! It's the park where most things happened. Where we used to stroll when the pain was really bad during the pregnancy. Where he took me for our first official kiss. We walked through the park on my prom.

At the Spot "Figure it out then?" he whispered, as I went to him for a hug.
"Before I went crazy. What's going on, Justin?" I asked, looking around at Ray, Danny with Whitney, Kenny and Michael.
"We're leaving, Kay. Aren't you happy?" he asked, cupping my face, making me look into his eyes.
"I am, but work, money, Junior, your dad..." I rambled. Something was telling me it wasn't going to work. You hear stories of other people getting out without money and having to live on the street for a while, and I can't, I have Junior. Child services will take him from me in a flash. IÕd rather stay until we knew we were certain.

"I'm going to get a job. Kay, I know we don't have the money in the world, but we'll work on it. Junior will be fine, and my dad has always wanted to get rid of me," he sighed. Taking my hands in his, he placed a sweet kiss on them each, then looked at me with his deep blue eyes. "I promised, Kay, and we're leaving, and I promise we'll do fine. We'll cope."
"I don't want to cope, Justin. I don't want to dread when the post man comes to give us our latest bills."
"You won't have to. I have enough money."
"From where?" he sighed again, but not looking at me. He glanced at his watch, then at me. He didn't want to tell me, so I didn't ask again.
"All I want, Kieele, is your trust. Give me that, and I will look after you."
I still wasn't happy. I stepped back from him. I pulled out an envelope from my back pocket giving it to him.
He opened it up, then closed quickly. He looked at me, shocked. "Shit! Kay, where did you get this money from?... Thousands!"
"I've been saving, Justin. Do what you have to do with it."
He put it down his jumper, giving me a kiss.

"What about Whitney?" I asked, as I saw her putting her bags in one of the trucks. Ray had already done my things.
"Danny is taking care of her. We got a plan, Kay. All of us."
"Are you in trouble?" I asked. Justin always vowed to me he would never get in big trouble, but I had the smallest doubt light flicking on about whether this was all the truth.

We gotta make a decision
Leave tonight or live and die this way

"Nah, baby. Memphis will always be my home, but I gotta make a life with you two. The train ain't leaving without us anymore." I smiled slowly, registering what he just said to me. I was so proud of Justin. In that short time he wasn't a thug he was he was a caring father and boyfriend. He took my hand and led me to the car.

"Now, I've never seen the car before, and brand new!" I commented, sceptically. I ignored the suspicion behind it, happy to be leaving.
"Ray hooked me up," Justin laughed, getting in. I kissed Junior who was sitting in the back fast asleep.

So, remember we were driving, driving in your car
The speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk

We drove for hours, and it was now getting close to midnight. Justin was driving fast. Slightly faster than usual. I think he really wanted to get away. We passed Birmingham and were definitely going south. I always wanted to go Atlanta, but I don't think I was going to enjoy wherever we were going to stay first.

I drifted off to sleep, and woke up when I heard Junior crying. I was about to ask Justin to stop, when he began to sing. He would sigh now and then, probably remembering the life he had before his mom left, and his dad quit work, and his dreams were shattered. Junior giggled and laughed, enjoying the singing, and sooner or later fell asleep.

"Kay, wake up."
I sat up, looking around where we were. It wasn't the fanciest of places, but it wasn't a dump either, and I wasn't going to be picky.

The same morning, just later. Justin has been gone for hours. I would understand if we were in the city, but we're in the middle of nowhere. There is nothing around except a ghost place of a gas station. Junior has been crying for 20 minutes now, and I've run out of nappies.

"Come on, Justin, where are you?" I say to myself out loud. I'm still patting Junior to calm him down, but nothing will do. He needs diapers. I pace around the room, opening the curtains to see if Justin is coming, but there is no sign of him. My eyes trail over to my suitcase, and a nasty thought goes through my mind.

How do I know he hasn't gone off and left us? I know, how could I think that? But Justin does disappear.

"Junior, please!" I ask, almost begging. I hate to see Junior cry. I time 5 minutes and sigh, very pissed off now.

That's it! I need to find a store. I get my bag and the baby bag, slinging it over my shoulder, and walk to the door.

"Hey!" Justin cries, opening the door, making me jump.
"Don't 'hey' me!" I chuck my bag at him, but he's fast to catch it, then I chuck the baby bag.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he cries, giving me a bewildered look, which is understandable 'cause as soon as he came in, I was throwing heavy things at him.
"Me? Where the fuck have you been?!" I shout back.
"I told you, I went out."
"Where, Justin? This isn't working! Junior hasn't stopped crying for the past half hour!"
He put all his things down and takes Junior from me, and he settles just like that in his daddy's arms. Feeling very pissed off, I stamp towards the bathroom and slam the door.

"KayJay," he whispers my initials, coming in. He knows that name always makes me forgive him, but I turn around on the toilet seat, so I can't see him and he can't see me. He leans down resting his hands on my legs.
"Baby, I'm sorry," he whispers, stroking my legs.
I sniffle, wiping away the tears. He sighs, looking up at the ceiling, then back at me.
"Kay, I can't bear it when you don't talk to me."
"That's funny. You seem to ignore me when I call you."
"You just wanna start a fight," he tells me, smiling.
"What if I do, Justin? I understand this ain't going to be easy, but fuck, Justin, do you have to leave me on my own with no way of getting hold of you? I don't know if this is going to work."
"Kieele, don't say that. It is. I'm sorry. I bought diapers. I bought everything on that list you made."
"What list?"
"The one in the truck."
I didn't even tell him about it. I turn back around, smiling. I go weak when Justin surprises me like this.

"I hate you so much," I tell him, hitting his arm.
"Yeah, yeah, I never get too tired of hearing it." He pulls me into a hug then stands me up. "Come on, girl. We ain't staying here much longer. This place is a pile of shit."
I look round with my face squinted, nod, and laugh, happy we are going to leave. My eyes glance around, taking in the details of where I stayed, and my eyes take in a black object.

"Jay, kill it!" I cry, holding his arms right.
"Kill what?" he asked, looking around us.
"Kill it! The- " I point, stuttering.
"The what, K?"
"The fucking spider! Kill it!" I hit his arm to the direction, but the creepy thing was running my way. I jumped up on the closed toilet seat, screaming at Justin. He watches it, then grabs a towel to kill it. He looks up at me with a smirk on his face.

"It ain't funny. This place is horrible!" I whinge, shaking the creepy feeling of the spider.
"The shower's good."
I roll my eyes as he refers to us maybe using the shower together.
"Fuck, Kay! There is a big ass one behind you!" he warns me with a serious look on his face.
"OMG!" I jump down into Justin's arms. He's laughing so hard he could choke.
"Baby, I'm kidding." I slap his arm, then his chest, but he's still laughing.
"That shit ain't funny. You know I'm shit scared of spiders."
"You don't think I know? 'Kill it, Justin! Kill it!'" he mocked, but I don't find this funny. I look at him, pouting.

"I'm joking. You know I lo- care."
I nod, resting my head on his chest. He kisses my forehead, then leaves the bathroom quickly. I look at him escape. You know, you would think he said- OMG! Was Justin going to say what I think he was? I run out of the room, and find no Justin. I pout, then notice the door open. I walk out and find him standing against the wall with a cigarette in his hand.

"Justin, I thought you gave up."
"So did I." He looks at it, then pulls a long drag. Flicking it to the floor, he stamps on it, and kisses my forehead.

"Come on, Kay. Get your shit." He's so good at changing subjects, or knowing what your thinking, but saying something else.
"They ain't shit, Justin." I answer back. He just rolled his eyes and picked up Junior and his things.

One last drive, he promised. Just one. And Justin said this is our temporary home. I was more than happy. The place just needed brightening up, and with my arty skills, that could be done in a flash paint job here and there. Hand me down items for the time being.

It might just work.

I'm so sorry to everyone who read that last chapter. it must have been so confusing Peter Hudson is in fact Justin Timberlake I just changed the name for another website. I will re-send the chpater and change the names but I hope you still enjoyed the chapter.

Yet again I'm so sorry about the confusion and when i send the chapter again I will post the next one too.

Sorry!!

Chapter 7- Can We Work It Out

My eyes opened to see Justin sleeping peacefully. It took my mind a few moments to actually realise why I was lying next to him. I turned over my voice fighting the urge to cry out and groan at the disgust in my situation. But I sensed that I was in an intense situation and it needed to be quiet. I turned over screwing my face up and used my hand to rub it roughly.

I could tell I had made a big mistake, I felt a sudden sickness wash over me and I realized I would actually be sick and it wouldn't go away with a big breath of fresh air. I jumped out of bed and reached out for Justin's robe and wrapped it round me as I swung the bathroom door open being sure to shut it quietly then leaned over the sink. Moments went passed as nothing happened so I leaned up and tried to stand up straight but the vision in the mirror of myself flipped my stomach up and down.

After refreshing up a bit I braced myself relaxing my shoulders closing my eyes and taking a deep big breath before I opened the door finding the bed empty. My body panicked slightly as my getaway was now going to be ruined. I shuffled forward turning to my right to look at the door that was still closed so I turned to look to my left and Justin was standing there with a glass of water. He was leaning on the wall his breathing sort of ragged like he had been running.
‘Thanks' I replied meekly as I took the glass from him taking small sips keeping my head down low avoiding any intense eye contact.

‘You feeling better?' he asked softly in almost a whisper. I nodded refusing to look Justin in the eye, he pushed my fringe- which was long overdue for a cut- away from my eyes and I melted feeling his fingertips on my forehead. I flinched also though, another reaction I had developed from our fight.
Justin felt something wrong and placed a thumb under my chin so I would look him in the eye. His eyes were asking what's wrong from what I could read but I wouldn't read back knowing he would force more and more till I crumbled like a biscuit in his palm..

‘This was a mistake Justin' I whispered moving my head away from his grasp
‘What was?' he asked quickly standing straight away from the wall towering over me.
‘This, us, together' I said waving my hand to the bed then to both of us.
‘Sleeping together?' he questioned
‘Yes I came yesterday to collect things and see if you wanted to say bye properly-‘
‘You said you wanted me yesterday' I needed to lie quickly
‘I did, I do, I was crying too Justin please I'm not doing this I have to go' I turned round as I felt my whole body threatening to just give up and stay with Justin. He was quick though to stand in front of me as I stood by the chair by the window ready to get my clothes. I snapped my eyes up to look at him as he began to speak.
‘Kieele you can't leave' he whispered desperately holding my shoulders I still had that flinching feeling and shook Justin off me as I became angry.
‘Why?! Have you forgotten what happened these couple of days or were you taking drugs?' I cried as I snatched the bra and panties in case he reached them before me and take them.

‘I wasn't taking drugs, I wish I was Kieele cause then you would understand...' his voice trailed off in a whisper as I stopped for a brief moment to listen but as I recognized the soothing tone in his voice I cut him off.
‘No Justin don't do this to me, just don't do this. I've made up my mind, don't try and change that, not this, not after what I've been through I trusted you Jay now I get the strength to leave you-‘ he held my hand and I threw it off.
‘I need you Kay' he begged. I unwrapped the robe slightly to place my bra on looking for my other clothes. When I didn't answer he reached for both my hands only to have me fire up again slightly and stare at him.
‘Don't you wont change' I moved round him as I looked round for my clothes pissing myself off for not placing them somewhere or not planning that this could happen and I would waste time here as I desperately tried to get out quicker.

‘I will baby I acted like I don't care, but I do more than anything'
‘Then why did you treat me so bad Justin you called me everything under the sun, you washed your hands of me. I'm not coming back' I paused regretting the way it came out. I wasn't sure I knew in my head it came out that I wasn't sure but I closed my eyes wishing he couldn't read my voice. I threw his clothes that were on the floor up to find my own.

‘Kieele stop' I heard him say from across the room it was desperate and pathetic and it showed how weak Justin was at the moment but it just made me spark up another anger from inside. I turned round to face him, only to be surprised by his body standing right behind me and I backed instantly into a wall.
‘Justin no you know how I feel about you' I said pushing him away but he just forced his way forward again lowering his head to sort of meet mine, I had my escape route planned and it would work no doubt but my body wouldn't go along with it I just froze slightly my heart anticipating as it's beating doubled.
‘Kay then you know how I feel about you' his thumb and forefinger grazed my cheek then forehead and I noticed out heads were slightly closer than was meant to be allowed. This was wrong, this wasn't meant to happen I'm the weakest female possible, I shook my head as I pushed away from Justin.

‘I don't I'm sorry Justin I don't think I ever had I don't think I ever will' I said stepping away finding my shoes I tutted noticing they were stilettos.
‘Kieele don't leave me don't leave us'
‘Did you just hear me!' I screamed digging the heel into Justin's chest
‘I did and I always do, Kieele but don't kid yourself when you don't know how I feel about you, don't try and deny what you think you know cause most of the time its true' it touched me what he said and the pressure on the heel lightened and I caught a glimpse of the red mark underneath.
‘I thought I didn't know you'
‘You do shit you know me Kieele' he said stressing and I could hear it as he clenched his fists for a moment.
‘I don't believe I do, I think I'm just another one of your women except I got pregnant' I whispered turning round but he was quick to bring me back to face him. He looked mad.
‘Don't you say that, why do you still think that your nothing to me, why do you keep thoughts that what I was like before I might be now?' my shoulders fell after I had shrugged now I felt like the bad one God I'm so weak it's pathetic.

‘Jay what do you think I've been through these couple of days?' I asked but you can't answer a question with another.
‘No why do you keep those thoughts, I've told you, my boys have told, you even my dad when he's not drunk. You're the only one that was there before my ma left and your still here after and you still wanna think you don't know me'

‘I...don't know... oh God Jay, please let me go' I wriggled my wrists free of his grip and I stood there briefly almost hoping he would stop me but when he just stared at me I turned around seeing my jeans on the floor of the hallway. I quickly put them on but I couldn't see my top I walked down to the living room shaking my head as I saw the rest of my clothes on the floor in a small trail.
Placing them on quickly not wanting to waste any more time I couldn't help but to look over my shoulder. Justin stood leaning against the couch just staring watching me, his cheeks had a slight colour of red and his eyes had too been accustomed to red and his eyes looked glossy through my own teary ones. I picked my bag and held onto my shoes as I walked to the door. In all those minutes nothing was said until Justin spoke up his voice hoarse.

‘I'm not losing you Kieele' just that sentence scared me as I could feel my whole body want to just give in and cry and forgive Justin his words hit a spot I thought I had covered up with walls, but as I glanced once more Justin had left his spot and had returned to the bedroom. I ran out of the house quickly.
Taking the stairs I ran down them skipping a few my feet stinging like mad when both my feet landed with a slap on the hard cement floor. I opened the exit doors to the street my eyes even blurred as I looked into the bright sun. I flipped open my phone fed up of trying to do this thing on my own I called for help. I was field with relief when I heard the click when it was answered.
‘Kendall' I cried out crying harder. There was a few moments of silence then came my brothers voice.
‘Kieele what's happened why you crying?' he asked his voice filled with worry

‘Kendall I don't know what to do' I let out still walking
‘Where are you?' he asked I tried to open my eyes but they felt swollen painful and heavy.
‘Walking down the street... ken' I cried again my feet had now gone numb but it still had that uncomfortable tingly feeling.
‘Kieele calm down please sis your scaring me what happened?' I stopped to look at the sky thinking about what had happened.
‘Justin' I whispered closing my eyes I was about to say more but stopped.
‘What happened Kieele talk to me please?' he begged over the phone
‘Its over I walked out'
‘Is that what you want?' he asked softly I sighed feeling more tears flow.
‘No Kendall, God I love him so much but we just keep getting hurt'
‘Wait how did you walk out when did you move in with him?' hearing his surprise would usually make me smile but my emotions didn't even lift.
‘Ken we moved we left Memphis' I told him waiting to hear the questions
‘Why didn't you say?'
‘I... uh' I stuttered
‘Are you in trouble is Justin is trouble?' his voice raised as he asked the questions I wanted to know myself
‘No I don't think so. Fuck I was so stupid why did I sleep with him I was just meant to talk to him'
‘Kieele I cant help you I don't know where you are go back to Justin you cant be walking the streets on your own in this state do you know where your going?'
‘Kendall' I said rolling my head round.
‘No stop being a stubborn ass and go back your going to get hurt'.

I looked up to find me off the curb and in the middle of a street. I looked around to see if I could safely cross and when I couldn't I stepped back quickly only to have a car beep and swerve just miss hitting me. My whole body jumped from the shock making me drop to the floor crying harder. I could hear Kendall calling my name and another voice but it felt so distant. It felt like I was falling in a whole in my own mind and it was blocking everything around me.

I felt two arms pick me up from under my arms and roughly pull me my feet grazed the floor until another hand picked up my legs holding them together. I groaned just wanting to be left alone, I felt my body being put down on some soft slightly wet grass and that was when I opened my eyes to the intense sharp blue ones. He grabbed my chin and cheek when I tried to move my head away to not look at him.

‘What were you doing?' his voice demanded I suddenly felt scared at the angry tone and I sat up slightly to see where I was. I turned to look at the road and images in black and white went through my head picturing myself in the middle of the busy street and it hit me harder than anything that could scare me I had just sat down in the middle of car lanes.

‘Kieele answer me where you going to-‘
‘No I, I don't know Justin take me home' he took hold of my hand firmly lifting me up and we walked back to the apartment. I went straight to the kitchen making myself a coffee alcohol would be ideal in some cases but I needed to be 100% sober. Once I had finished brewing and serving Justin sat down at the table with me. It was quiet for a long time neither one of us knowing what to say, there was me who had sat in a road making it look like I...I. I couldn't even say it in my head.

‘I didn't try and hurt myself' I whispered looking down at my hot coffee too ashamed to look at Justin.
‘Really Kieele cause you just sat in a fucking road' he shouted pounding his fists on the table making me jump.
‘I wouldn't I don't know what I was thinking I'm sorry' his face softened and he looked up to me slowly
‘Kay just don't do something like that' he told me and I nodded, I opened my mouth to say sorry again when he put a hand up to silence me
‘Don't apologise with everything...'
‘Justin'
‘I didn't mean it any of it, I just know what to say that will hurt you same as you to me' I looked up slightly shocked
‘Me'
‘Yeah you must know by now that if you ever say your parents I shit bricks'
‘Why?' I asked tilting my head to the side
‘They are your parents Kay once they get hold of you I wont be able to see you' he explained reaching a hand out to me I looked at it for a few moments then placed mine over his
‘What makes you think that?' I asked still looking at our hands.
‘I just know'
‘How do you know?' I questioned still
‘A hunch' I nodded
‘When are you getting junior?' he asked softly as much as I would want my baby with me now I couldn't.
‘I'm not, not until I know things are going to be okay' I said in a slight blunt tone
‘I see' I sighed softly taking my hands from Justin feeling this was being sorted too quickly.

‘Justin we rushed everything. What I mean before all this it was about Junior, you seeing him, me becoming a mom you a dad, then we made love often I think what I'm trying to say is we didn't know each other that well, it was simple shit talking ‘bout the regular crap, some of it weren't crap do you get what I mean?' I half mumbled the end losing what I was trying to say clearly.

‘Yeah I do Kay so ask me anything' he said stretching out his arms interlocking them behind his head.
‘Come again?' I asked
‘Ask me anything' he said again in a lighter tone like he would answer any question I threw at him.

‘Okay what happened with Whitney, the truth?' his hands just slipped landing on his lap as my question hit him.
‘I told you, she told you'
‘She never or hardly spoke, Jay please' he sighed loudly placing his hands together on the table leaning in.

‘One of the guys went looking for you but you were with me that night and you know when Whitney didn't like his attitude she started running her mouth, he forced his way in found out she was with Danny... Kay we all said we were weren't going to say the whole story'
‘Justin tell me why did you all keep it from me?'
‘He forced Whitney to your balcony threatening to push her over, Whitney managed to push him off and they fought but he got Whitney on the floor that's when he tried it with her'
‘What did he say?' Justin sighed heavily not looking at me
‘Kay'
‘Justin'
‘He said something like bigger guys were going to get to you and do a shit load more and she should give you a heads up cause I was going to break'.
‘What sort of shit load?' I asked my voice slightly breaking into a whisper.
‘Kieele you know what it means' I sat back scratching my forehead not understanding this whole thing still.

‘And we just left. That's not like you guys, what happened after we drove away?'
‘I drove over there on my own, Ray had called the guys after finding me gone... lets just say nothing much happened after they called someone'
‘Who?'
‘Mr brown'
‘Who is that?'
‘Someone you don't mess with'
‘So why did they call him?' I asked briefly looking at Justin's eyes I couldn't look for long I had this shy sudden feeling when he stared back at me.
‘They knew that they would listen to him'
‘Okay but if everything was fine why did we still leave?' I asked still having that pondering thought in my head.
‘He spoke to us outside and told us to go, not because we had anything to worry about just because he knew a lot about us and told us we would have a better life leaving and he would help if needed but Rory and his boys would always be in Memphis and have nothing'

‘How do you know him really, cause I can imagine someone all authorative but he wouldn't be a guy to give a hand cause he likes one group of people'
‘My ma and him went to high school I found out he's been watching me now and then. Have you thought we've been running or shit like that?' Justin asked with a small smirk.

‘Well yeah I knew you were keeping something from me'
‘Only for your safety' he said trying to sound as if he cares all that much.
‘Whatever, who was that chick the other day?' I asked folding my arms still not at all happy with another woman in my house Justin looked hard at me for a few moment then began chuckling
‘What's funny?' I asked not finding it at all amusing and Jay must have noticed as he quickly shut up and began explaining.
‘Like I remember a name, all I did was say a few lines and I got her cooking dinner'
‘Typical' I tutted shaking my head
‘Well you know me' Justin said sounding so full of himself that it had to make you smile.
‘Maybe I do' I replied rolling my eyes.