“Only you... Can turn my gray sky blue. Without you near, I feel so very small. How I wait to hear your footsteps in the hall. The only place I want to be is in your lap, or on your knee. Only you. Only me,” Natalie finished reading the book with a whisper. Smiling down at the sleepy four-year-old tucked in his SpongeBob Squarepants sheets, she stood up, and strode over to the bookshelf to wedge the book back in its place. She returned to the bed, and leaned down to give her son’s cheek a soft kiss. Noah yawned, widely, and offered his mother a sleepy attempt of a smile.

Natalie chuckled gently, and whispered, “Good night.” She crossed the room, switched off the light and quietly slipped out of the room, making sure to leave the door ajar. She made the short jaunt down the hallway to her own bedroom and entered it, closing the door behind her. Natalie let out a sigh as she began dressing down to her pajamas. When she had finished, she washed her face and brushed her teeth in the bathroom.

The house was unnervingly quiet now that Noah and gone to bed. When Natalie’s husband was gone it was always like this. And Natalie hated it more than anything. She hated having to find something to do in order to fill the silence. She hated being alone. She hated that he was always gone. She understood that he toured and couldn’t always be home but when it came to being absent while he was on ‘vacation’, Josh had no excuse.

He hadn’t always been like this. Once upon a time, Josh used to blow off his friends just to stay home with his family. No, his actions were very recent, and Natalie was unsure of what to think or do. Time and time again, she had tried to talk to him about it, but he shot her down, saying that she was being ridiculous. And as a result of this, she stopped trying, stopped asking where he was going when he left and when – and if – he was going to be home later that night, and built up a wall. Never one to always show her emotions in the first place, Natalie had now virtually become a statue when it came to interacting with Josh or talking about their marriage. She was falling apart on the inside and she was damned if she’d let it show on the outside.

Natalie stared down her appearance in the bathroom mirror through the splattered spots of toothpaste. She looked sick. Her once golden skin had paled, and her vibrant blue eyes dulled. The stress had made her physically sick at some points. No wonder Josh didn’t want to be home anymore; she’d let herself go. Biting back tears, Natalie left the bathroom.

Just as she was going to climb into bed, she heard the garage door opening. She briskly got up and walked out into the hallway, catching Josh in the process of entering their home. When he looked up, he flashed her a small smile, one that she did not return. Even though Natalie wanted to ask where he had been, she kept her mouth closed and watched him walk toward her.

“Noah asleep?” He asked, and Natalie replied with a nod, turning away from him. “Nat—”

“Just come to bed, Josh.” Natalie didn’t wait for him to follow her, but when she was going to climb into bed, and noticed that he was standing in the middle of the room with his hands in his pockets, she paused. “What?”

Josh looked up at her, an indescribable emotion in his eyes. “We need to talk, Natalie.”

In the blink of an eye, Natalie’s guard went up. “About what?”

“About this...” He pointed at the space between them, “About us.”

“What is there to talk about, Josh?” Though she stood tall, and spoke calmly, Natalie’s heart was beginning to race and her breathing was short.

“Don’t pull that shit right now, Natalie!” Josh snapped, fed up with the cold edge she’d been giving him over the past few months. “You know what I mean.”

She scoffed, “Oh, now you want to talk about our marriage? Now after I’ve been trying for months?! Are you sure you aren’t going to just start denying everything midway through?”

His voice was meek, and he was terrified to what he heard himself say, “This isn’t working anymore, Natalie.”

“Of course it isn’t! Because you’re never home! You’re always off doing God knows what with God knows who—!”

“Nat—!”

“I hardly ever see you anymore, and Noah sees you even less than I do! You’re gone so much that he doesn’t even fucking ask where Daddy is, anymore!”

“Nat—!”

“We see the other guys more than we see you—!”

“Natalie!” Josh shouted, finally succeeding in cutting her off.

“What, Josh? What do you have to say?”

Though he had planned what he would say several times over on the ride from the bar, Josh couldn’t remember a single word, and he found himself nervous. “I... I’m not gonna be home for a while,” he frowned, wishing he had worded it, differently. “I’m not sure when I’ll be back.”

“What are you saying?” Natalie whispered, her voice hoarse.

“I’m saying I’m leaving,” Josh mumbled, finding this throat closing in. “And I don’t know if I’m coming back. This just isn’t working, and I don’t know what to do—”

“How about be home once in a fucking blue moon!” Natalie screaming, the guard she had built up shattering right before her eyes. “That’s why this isn’t working! You’re never home, Josh! How can we possibly make something work if you’re never here? I can’t do this all on my own!” She cried, tears streaming down her cheeks for the first time in months.

“That’s not all—”

“Then, what? What, Josh? Please tell me so I can fix it!”

Josh frowned and shook his head. “Nat—”

“Josh, please don’t do this. Please don’t leave. I’ll do whatever you want, just please don’t leave me,” she begged, almost ashamed of her behavior. “Was it something I did? Do you not love me anymore?”

He sighed, walking closer to her. He gently took her into his arms. “I’m just confused, okay?”

“What is there to be confused about?” Natalie sobbed into his shirt. “We’ve been together for ten years, Josh. Is there someone else?”

“No, there’s no one else.” And he was more than glad that that was not the issue with them, at all, “I just don’t know anymore.”

“Don’t know what? You don’t know if you love me anymore?” She whimpered, clinging onto him with all she had. “That’s it, isn’t it? Besides the fucking problems we’ve been having you don’t think you love me anymore. After everything you don’t know if you still love me, right?”

“I can’t stand this anymore, Natalie.”

“This is your fault, Josh. If you were home—”

Josh cut her short with a loud sigh. “Natalie, baby. You know we were having problems before then.”

“Those can hardly be considered problems!” She yelled, and pushed him away roughly. “A fight once in a while—”

“And you would hold a fucking grudge for weeks after we would fight! How am I supposed to love you when you’re a stone-cold bitch to me? And I never get to touch you anymore!”

“That is not my fault! You,” Natalie poked him in the chest, “are the one that is always claiming to be tired!”

“Bullshit! It wasn’t always me! Every time I would try to get some, you were always busy—”

“We have a son, you know! I’m sorry that I was busy taking care of him while you were just fucking thinking with your dick!”

Josh laughed bitterly and rolled his eyes. “Oh, so me wanting to make love to my wife is now thinking with my dick?” Natalie only glared at him. “Why so quiet, Natalie? Finally realizing that it’s you that’s pushing me away? It’s not all me. I know that I’ve fucked up by being gone, but that’s only because I don’t want to fight with you every night. It’s like you’ve fucking gone insane over the past two months. I feel like I don’t even know you anymore. Your mood swings are ridiculous, and I just can’t handle it. I do fucking love you, believe me when I say that, but I don’t know if I love you enough to still stick around and put up with your shit, after what you do to me time, and time again. I wouldn’t give up the ten amazing years that I’ve had with you just for nothing. I’ve thought long and hard about this, Natalie, and this was honestly the last fucking thing I wanted to do. I wanna be with you, and I will do anything in my power to do so, but if you’re not trying, all my efforts are going to waste, and I can’t continue on like this. I’m human, too. I don’t want to do this. But it’s best for both of us if we take some time away from each other.”

Natalie took a deep breath and slowly processed all he had said. “Josh, I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to do but apologize and ask you to stay. I love you so much, Jace, and I never wanted to hurt you but I know that I did. I’m sorry that I pushed you away, and I guess…” Her voice caught in her throat, and another tear cascaded down, “If you have to leave... I’ll let you go. That’s what you’re supposed to do when you love someone, right?” She smiled sadly, through the tears in her eyes and a wobbling chin.

Josh only nodded, finding that he couldn’t bring himself to speak, and blinked back his own tears. He wanted to hug her, bring her into his arms, but he knew as soon as he did that, he would be right back where he was four months ago, debating the same decision, but letting it go, after holding her. He knew that this separation was vital for both of them, right now. He needed to clear his head. And she needed to do the same.

“I love you,” he whispered, gently, instead, and Natalie looked up at him.

“I’ll leave you to it, then,” she whispered, slowly walking out of their bedroom so he could pack his things. 

 

---

 

Natalie stared blankly at the frigid looking therapist sat in front of her. Her name was Dr. Nancy Silvia. She wore a black, pinstripe skirt suit with matching black peep-toe pumps. Her raven black hair was pulled back into a tight, perfect bun that almost made Natalie cringe because it looked like it hurt when she would move her face. Dr. Silvia wore little makeup, only mascara and pale lipstick, and besides looking uptight, she looked very plain. Her lips were pressed in a thin line and her brow furrowed as her eyes roved over the intimidated Natalie.

“So,” she finally spoke. “Why don’t you begin with why you’re here.”

Natalie took a deep breath. “Well, there really isn’t any nice way for me to put this, so I’ll just come out with it: my husband told me in so many words that I’m a cold-hearted bitch, and unless I change, he’s going to leave me for good. That’s something that I can’t even fucking bare to think about. You see, I’ve been with him since I was fourteen. He’s the only guy I’ve ever been with, and he’s my first everything. I don’t even know what I would do without him because I’ve been with him for so long.”

“Do you think you’re a ‘cold-hearted expletive’, as you put it?” Dr. Silvia asked, folding her hands and setting them on top of the clipboard that rested in her lap.

“I know that I can be at times and I know that my attitude has gotten worse over the past two and a half months but that’s mainly because my husband hasn’t been home. He’s claiming that he wasn’t home because of my attitude and us fighting, but I just don’t see how that is because I wasn’t like this before.”

“You’re sure? Could you have been acting cold toward him without even realizing it?”

“I...” Natalie was at a loss for words. “I don’t know. I mean, I suppose it’s possible, but I didn’t notice myself doing it if I was.”

“Have you been stressed lately or before? Outside of your marriage, I mean?” Dr. Silvia pressed, picking up her pen just in case.

Natalie nodded, “I’m a high school teacher, and I was worried about the new year starting, you know. Josh just began touring again, too.”

“Touring?”

“He’s in a band. They put out their third album a few months ago and they’re going around promoting it, now, which has been hard on him and the rest of the guys. Their band member, who was also one of their best friends, and mine too, for that matter, passed away in November, so it’s their first time getting back out there, without him.”

“His passing put a lot of stress on your relationship, then?”

“No, it brought us a lot closer, together, actually. It just put stress on us, individually, and added to the stuff that we were already going through in our day to day life.”

Silvia shifted in her chair and stared at Natalie, intently. “What do you think is the main problem that caused your marriage to fall apart?”

“I don’t think it was just one thing. I think it was just everything building up together but I do suppose that my attitude was a big factor. And that’s why I’m here, right? To talk to you and get help? Because I can’t handle this stress anymore; it’s been making me physically sick.”

“Yes, but keep in mind, Natalie, that I can only help you so much and the rest you’ll need to figure out for yourself.”

---

Nearly three weeks had passed since Natalie’s first visit with Dr. Silvia, and it had been close to a month since Josh walked out. They talked a lot over the phone, and she kept trying to convince him that she was changing and willing to do whatever it took to make their marriage work, but Josh wasn’t so sure that coming back was a good idea just yet. Natalie had gotten it in her head that he had already found someone else and that he was quite possibly never coming back home, but she never said anything.

Dr. Silvia wanted Josh to attend Natalie’s next therapy session to get his side of things, and to give the two a chance to talk about what was going on. Natalie had completely objected at first, saying that she didn’t want Josh there but ultimately had no choice when Dr. Silvia contacted Josh and told him to be there.

Truth be told, Natalie didn’t want Josh there because she was scared. She didn’t like when he saw her so vulnerable, and she didn’t want him to know how she was feeling about their separation. She also knew that her feeling that way was causing all of their problems. Natalie wished she were different; she didn’t like being that way, and would give almost anything to go back to how she had been in years passed. Though she hadn’t always been great at showing her emotions, she was never this bad.

She was also nervous about seeing him. After all, it had been a month since she’d last laid eyes on him, and that had been the night he left. No doubt things were probably going to be a little...tense.

Natalie sat in the waiting room, her right leg bouncing violently up and down and her thumb nail stuck between her teeth as she nervously chewed on it while she waited for Josh to get there. She’d barely slept the night before and had downed close to eight cups of coffee on an empty stomach before leaving the house.

“Hey.”

Her head snapped up at the smooth voice that filled her ears.

“Hi,” Natalie whispered, smiling shyly up at her husband who looked about as nervous as she felt. Josh smiled back and reached for her hand before gently bringing her up to her feet. He pulled her into a hug, and let out a content sigh, elated to have her back in his arms. He could feel his heart beat racing, and he didn’t care if she felt it, either. He wanted her to know how tough this had been on him, too.

Though Josh couldn’t see, Natalie was grinning ear to ear, and holding back tears.

“So, how have you been?” He asked when they had separated.

Pausing briefly, Natalie answered. “I’ve been okay, I suppose. You?”

“Well, I’ve definitely been a lot better than this.” It was then that Natalie noticed how much her husband had changed in the past month. He had lost weight, his vivid blue eyes didn’t sparkle like they used to, and he looked sick.

“Okay, I lied. I’m miserable without you,” Natalie blurted out in a whisper, pushing back the stupid notions of what she had always thought was right.

Josh seemed surprised at her outburst. A small smile twitched his lips. “I haven’t been much better, Natalie,” he sighed, running a hand through his thick, wavy hair. “I—”

“Natalie?” Silvia’s receptionist beat Josh to speaking. “Dr. Silvia will see you two now.”

---

“NO!” Natalie hollered. “This is bullshit! Why am I the only one getting blamed for this?!”

“You’re not, Natalie!” Josh shouted back. “I was just saying—”

“Dr. Silvia was just saying the same exact thing! This cannot all be put on me; I am not the only one at fault here!”

Dr. Silvia sighed, dropping her pen onto her clipboard. “Natalie, you even said yourself that your attitude was a big issue.”

“I know that, but I didn’t say that it was the only one—”

“From what I’m hearing, it sounds like it was the problem.”

Natalie glared menacingly at the woman sitting across from her. In a huff, she stood up. “Whatever, I’m done with this bullshit. You,” she pointed at the therapist. “Do not know shit about my life so I don’t know why I’ve wasted my time talking to you. I can fix my marriage and my ‘attitude problem’ all on my own!” She grabbed her purse, and stormed out of Dr. Silvia’s office with Josh following close behind her.

“What the hell was that?” He yelled, when they reached the parking lot. “You’re done just like that?”

“I am done with her! She doesn’t know anything, and I’ve gotten fucking nowhere in the past three weeks. Have you moved back home? I don’t think so. Have we even seen each other face-to-face until now? No, we haven’t. I have wasted the last three weeks going to that nitwit!”

“That nitwit is trying to help you, Natalie!”

“By doing what? Blaming me for everything? This isn’t all my fault, Josh. I know that I fucked up by pushing you away, but what did you do about it? You stayed out all the time and you were never home. What was that supposed to solve? That only made things worse!”

“Fuck, I know!” Josh groaned, clutching his head. “I just didn’t know what to do, and I couldn’t fucking talk to you!”

“What do you mean, you couldn’t talk to me? I tried to talk to you almost every day, Josh! You had plenty of chances but you blew me off!”

“Because I didn’t know what to say, babe! Everything seemed like it was falling apart and I didn’t know what to do.”

“Talked to me, told me why you were so mad and we could have fixed this before it got this bad. Maybe you would still be home if we had. I’m starting to feel like nothing I’m doing is working so why bother?”

“You think this is the end of us?” He asked, quietly.

Natalie scoffed, “Did I say that? It just seems to me like you don’t care how hard I’m trying, and how much I want you to just fucking come home so we can work it out because quite obviously it’s not working with you at Wade’s! How are we supposed to deal with this if we’re not even under the same roof? God dammit, Josh! I just want you to come home!”

“I just need some time to think after this, please?” Josh sighed, pushing off the vehicle he had been leaning up against. “I’ll call you tomorrow,” he wrapped his arms around Natalie, and kissed her on the forehead. “I love you, alright?”

“Why do you have to do that?” Natalie whimpered. “It makes it worse.”

“I just want to make sure you know that I still love you.”

“Yeah, I remember what you told me. You still love me, you just don’t know if it’s enough to still want to be with me.”

Josh only sighed again, wishing she would understand, and let her go. “I’ll talk to you later, Natalie.”

---

“What do you want for supper, bud?” Natalie asked Noah. He was sitting in the middle of the spacious living room playing with a set of five toy dinosaurs that Natalie and Josh had gotten him last Christmas.

“S’ghetti an meatballs!” Noah shouted with excitement. “Auntie Cam like s’ghetti an meatballs?” He asked Natalie’s best friend, Cameron, who was also his God mother.

“I love it!” She gushed, ruffling up his dark hair. “How many dinosaurs you got there?”

“I got... One... Two... Three... Four... Five!” Noah slowly counted out, setting a dinosaur aside at each number.

Natalie smiled proudly at her son. “Good job, buddy! You’re such a good counter!”

“Thank you, Mommy!”

Cameron chuckled at the little boy as she joined Natalie in the kitchen. “So, I never asked... How did yesterday go?”

“I’m done going to that ‘therapist’,” Natalie sneered, putting a pan full of water on the stove to boil. “It was such sh– crap! Her and Josh were both blaming me for our relationship going to hel– heck. I got up and left not even halfway through our time.”

“Then what happened? Did Josh follow you or did he stay there?”

“He followed me and then we got into it in the parking lot. He admitted that it wasn’t just me and that he fucked up, too. As of right now I have no idea what’s going on. He told me that he loved me and that he just needed time to think, so...”

Cameron smiled, and gave her friend a one-armed hug. “Honey, you know he’s gonna come home. He loves you, and you guys have been together forever. There is no way that he is going to give up that many years of happiness with you for a couple stupid fights, and rough months. He’ll come around, and realize once again that you’re his everything, and he can’t permanently live without you. Just hang in there, sweetie.”

Natalie smiled at Cameron, and laughed lightly. “I don’t know what I would do without you, Cam. I really don’t.”

“And you’ll never have to know because I will always be here for you! By the way... Did you tell him?”

Natalie’s stomach churned at her friend’s question. With a grimace, she shook her head. “No, I didn’t think it was the time or place to.”

“Well, you should probably tell him soon becau—”

Just then, the door bell rang, and Noah ran into the kitchen, his bare feet slapping against the wood floor. “Uncle Jus’in is here, Mommy!” He exclaimed, jumping up and down.

“Well, let him in, you silly guy!”

“‘Kay!” Noah yelled, running off in the direction he had come. Reaching the front door, he stood on the very tip of his toes to reach the door knob. “Hi, Uncle Jus’in!” Noah grinned up at the tall man who mirrored a large smile back. “Mommy’s makin’ supper!”

Justin chuckled and bent down to pick up his ‘nephew’. “Oh really? What is she making?”

“S’ghetti an meatballs!”

Natalie turned away from the stove and smiled at Justin as he walked in carrying her son.

“Hey, Justin,” she greeted him softly.

Justin handed Noah over to Cameron, upon seeing his baby sister’s sullen face. He walked over, and wrapped his arms around her, “How are you doing, sweetheart?”

“I’m doing the best that I can right now,” she mumbled against his broad shoulder. “How are things with you?”

Cameron, sensing that this should be a conversation between only Justin and Natalie, walked out of the room with Noah.

“Pretty good, finally getting back to normal now.” Justin knew all too well how Natalie was feeling and what she was going through, having just experienced a failed marriage himself. “He’s gonna come back, Natalie. Just give him some time.”

“But what if he doesn’t? What if he decides that this isn’t what he wants anymore?”

Justin sighed, wishing she wouldn’t think like that. “If and if that happens, you’ll cross that bridge when you come to it. Be positive, Natalie. Everything is gonna work out.”

“But things didn’t between you and Jessica.”

“Because Jess wasn’t willing to fix things. It’s different with you and Josh. You just gonna believe that everything is gonna work out, alright? Because it will. I promise.”

 

---

 

“Are you excited to see Grandma and Grandpa Chasez, tomorrow?” Natalie asked Noah as she was getting him ready for bed. “It’s been a while since you’ve seen them.”

“Yeah! I can’t wait to see ‘em!” Noah squeaked, pulling his Cars pajama top over his head. “An’ Daddy, too! He’s gonna be there, right?”

Natalie nodded, as she handed him his bottoms. “Yes, Daddy is going to be there, too. Time to brush your teeth, little man,” she smiled, heading out of the bedroom. Noah quickly followed after her, eventually bolting ahead of her into the bathroom. He stepped up onto the small stool that Natalie and Josh had kept in there for him so he could reach the sink, and look in the mirror.

“I miss Daddy,” Noah told Natalie as she got his toothbrush ready for him. “Do you miss Daddy, Mommy?”

She nodded, handing him the toothbrush. “I miss him a lot, baby.”

The conversation was paused as Noah started to brush his teeth. He carefully watched himself brush his teeth in the mirror in front of him, his big blue eyes following every movement the brush made on his pearly whites. When he was finished, he spit and rinsed out his mouth before running his toothbrush under the running water to clean it off.

“Daddy’s not coming home, is he?” Noah asked, when they had gotten back in his bedroom.

Surprised by his words, Natalie looked down at her son to see his doe eyes glazed over with unshed tears. “Noah,” she whispered, feeling her heart breaking at his hurt. “Honey... Daddy is just confused, okay? He’ll come home, I promise. He just needs a little time, and then I promise you he’ll be back, and you’ll do all the fun stuff you used to do with him.”

“He’ll take me to the park again?” Noah perked up, his eyes glittering with excitement now instead of tears.

Natalie smiled and leaned down to kiss his forehead. “Yes, baby,” she laughed softly and helped him into bed. “Now, you go to sleep and in the morning I’ll make you a big breakfast with whatever you want!”

“Alright!” The small boy cheered, clapping his hands together. “G’night, Mommy; I love you.”

“I love you, too, buddy,” she replied, giving him another kiss along with a tight hug. “Sweet dreams.”

With Noah in bed, Natalie was free to let her emotions flow to the surface. No sooner had she left the room, had the tears started to flow down her cheeks. She wanted desperately for him to just show uo, and announce he was back. It wasn’t fair to Noah at all to be put into the middle of it all. And tomorrow would be the first time Noah would even see Josh since four days before Josh had walked out. Natalie swallowed at the lump in her throat, wiped her eyes as she walked downstairs to the kitchen, craving a nice cup of homemade hot chocolate.

After gathering all the necessary ingredients, Natalie took out a saucepan and filled it with water. As she was doing this, the front door was opening, though she didn’t hear it – the water striking the bottom of the stainless-steel pan was far too loud and covered up any auxiliary noise.

Standing at the door, Josh smiled at his unsuspecting wife who was solely concentrated on watching the water from the faucet fill up the saucepan. He dropped his bags down and silently crept through the dining room and into the kitchen.

Natalie waited until the pan was half-filled with water before shutting off the faucet. She cautiously carried the pan over to the stove and set it down then switched on the heat to medium high. She turned back to the counter and began preparing the hot chocolate mix.

When she reached for the cocoa, Natalie felt her hair being moved to the side and a pair of lips pressed against the back of her neck. Her body erupted in shivers and she jumped at the sudden contact. He chuckled deeply, his hot breath cascading down Natalie’s neck while his arms found their way around her waist, his face nuzzling into her neck.

“What are you doing here?” Natalie whispered, leaning back against his strong, built chest.

He smiled as he pecked her neck once more. “I’m setting things right. I was stupid to leave.”

Natalie shook her head as she pushed at his back a little, and he obliged, lessening his hold on her, and she turned around in his grasp. “You did what you thought was right,” she murmured, settling her arms around his neck.

“It was still stupid,” Josh rested his forehead against hers. “And I’m sorry. I love you so much, baby. I don’t know what I was doing, thinking that I could do this without you. It was just a couple of tough months and I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions and left. I’m so sor—”

Natalie silenced him with a kiss. “I’m sorry, too. We both made mistakes but we’ll fix them. Together. I need you, Jace, and I love you, too. More than you’ll ever know.”

“I think I have a pretty good idea,” he smiled, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear and sweeping in for another kiss. “God, I missed you.”

“I was dying without you.”

“Me, too, Natalie. I can’t stand being away from you anymore.”

“Then don’t be,” a smirk twitched the corner of Natalie’s full lips.

“I don’t plan on it, babe,” Josh grinned down at her. His eyes suddenly darted over her shoulder. “The water is boiling.”

Natalie spun around and switched off the stove. “I don’t care about that anymore,” she purred, coming back to him. “How about we go upstairs?”

“Noah asleep?”

Natalie nodded, and giggled, pulling him toward the staircase by his belt. Josh growled, rushing forward and scooping his wife up in his arms. He carried her up to their bedroom and dropped her gently onto the bed, his lips attaching to hers in a passionate kiss.

“Damn…” He breathed into her  mouth, running his tongue along her bottom lip; he pulled it into his mouth, sucking it, gently, as his hands came up over the swell of each breast. Their lips stayed locked for quite some time, him on top of her. She clutched his smooth cheek, rubbing it with her thump and pulling her mouth away from his.

Their eyes searched the others’, and he smiled, pecking her lips, feather-soft. She smiled at him, the stars and the moon were the only source of light for them, in their bedroom. His skin glowed in the blue-ish hue of the night and her breath caught in her throat: he was beautiful. Everything from those chiselled cheekbones, to the strong jawline, the hypnotizing eyes and that smile…

“You’re gorgeous.” She spoke, softly, fearing that some sort of spell would be broken if she actually talked out loud. He grinned, leaning in to kiss her, again.

“Well, you’re Mrs. Gorgeous.” He pulled off of her, and scooted up towards the headboard, holding his arms out for her, and she crawled back there as he pulled her into his lap, his fingers gripping her hips, his face looking down at hers, his lips slightly ajar. She kissed them, softly and then a little harder and, soon, their lips were fighting, again, for dominance.

Natalie’s hands ran up and down his clothed chest, feeling the taut muscles beneath skin. She let her hand slide down and then slipped it under his shirt, her palm running over his rigid stomach. She moaned into his mouth, when he ground himself into her, making it clear that he wanted her almost as badly as she wanted him. She pulled away from his lips, light headed and panting, looking down at his jeans.

“He’s always so eager.” She whispered, giggling, raching down, and unbuttoning his jeans.

“Well, around you? Yeah, what do you expect?” He wheezed back, as her hands skimmed and touched him lower area, while unzipping him, and pushing his jeans down his feet.

She started taking his shoes off at the same time. His eyes were on her then, just watching her. When she pulled his jeans and shoes off, she grabbed at his shirt, pushing it up his chest, and he raised his arms a little to allow her to push the material off. She did so, and he bulldozed her beside him, getting on top of her and kissing her neck. She bit her lip, sighing, blissfully, as her fingers delved into his hair.

His own fingers crawled over her chest, her stomach and then around; he pulled her up to meet with his naked chest as he unzipped her sundress, pushing it down her torso, down her hips, her legs, until it sat next to his own clothes. He grabbed her ankles, wrapping both of her legs around him, while his hands rubbed the skin on her body; pinching, squeezing, massaging, scratching lightly, anything.

She loved the feel of his hands, the callouses on the tips of his fingers, the lightness of his touch, when he wanted it to be. She arched into him, kissing his jaw as he fumbled with the clasp of her bra, unhooking it a while later and throwing it to the floor. His tongue bathed her in soft, wet kisses, his teeth nipping at flesh and his lips skimming all over; his moaning and humming made his actions seem a lot more pleasurable, and it all turned her on even more.

“Unh… Don’t stop.” She breathed into his ear, as his hands massaged her body.

“Not planning to,” was his only reply.

His thumb hooked into her panties and he pulled them down, his lips trailing down to her chest. His teeth latched onto a nipple and bit down, both her hands flying to his head, fingers lacing in with his hair, her neck arching back, her own teeth biting down on her lower lip. His eyes gazed back up at her, as he sucked, softly, a small hint of amusement in them. He let his tongue fall out and created circular paths around the hardened bud; he teased her so much, she was under the feeling that she might explode.

Both of her legs, slid up his narrow waist and she fastened onto his boxers, using her toes. She pulled them down, and he shuddered, when his member met her thigh. He let go of her nipple, eyes on her, mouth open the slightest; he looked like he really needed it, like he’d been craving this the whole day. She was, too.

“Natalie…” He managed to let out, shakily, as she took hold of his erection, and guided him to her opening. She teased him, rubbing him around her, smiling at him, and she he couldn’t take it, he slid in, his eyes fluttering closed as her own slammed shut, just dwelling in the feeling.

“God, you feel good…”

“Mmmm…”

She snaked her arms under his, and around, holding him closer to her; his eyes were still closed, and it seemed as if he’d fallen into an idyllic slumber. She kissed his forehead, pushing her hips up into him and he whimpered, so quietly, she would not have heard it, if it wasn’t so silent around them. She pushed up, again, starting a rhythm, and he followed her lead, thrusting his sharp hips down into her upward movements. Her arms left his, and fell to either side of her, her fingers curling, as he raised himself off of her body, a little, going faster and pounding harder, sweat beginning to form on his upper lip, his forehead beginning to shine.

“I missed you so,” he emphasized with thrusting into her, “Damn.” Thrust. “Much.” Thrust.

“Um… Me, too.” She closed her eyes, just feeling him inside of her, living in the moment. She felt every curve, ever ridge, every vein, every throb deep inside of her, and then disappear, only to come back, only harder than before. Her breaths came out in tiny pants, and she could feel herself chasing, and coming severely close, to her climax.

“Open your eyes; I wanna watch you,” he wheezed, his lips grazing her nipples as his tongue licked a wet path to her collarbone. She opened them, only to have his now deep blue stare back at her, green flecks everywhere in them. She shook from just his gaze and he smiled the slightest, kissing her cheek, then her forehead. “I love you. So much.”

“Love you…too.” She managed, swallowing, and tried hard to keep her eyes open as their climaxes impended closer towards them.

“Mmm… Come on, mama; come for me,” he rasped into her ear, and she bit her lip harder; he pulled up, his face inches from hers, eyes drowning her, staring at her, intently. She tried to stare back, but it was so hard, when he was driving, anxiously, into her, doing crazy things to other parts of her anatomy, and most of all – the way his eyes looked at that moment.

“Are you close?” She panted, her body slipping against his, their sweat being the cause of this. The room was instantaneously becoming stifling. She kissed his lips, as he nodded, eagerly, but weakly.

“So close, baby; I can’t go without you, come with me…” He licked the shell of her ear, sucking on the lobe and then trailing down and pulling the skin on her neck into his mouth. He went lower, and his teeth pulled at a nipple, and she groaned, loudly, with the feel of it, as his thumb rubbed the other one, mercilessly. He seemed to jerk a little, shooting forward to his highpoint.

“Fuck…” Natalie breathed, trying to swallow. She held onto his body, as tight as she could, letting herself go, and just like that the tension was cut loose. Waves seemed to crash over her, and again, again, and she almost screamed, deafeningly, holding it back, as best as she could. He thrust into her some more, until he had no more to give and when he’d finished, he flopped down on her, lifeless. She pursed her lips, licking them and breathing, hard. She kissed his forehead, closing her eyes.

“I don’ wanna get up…”

“Then don’t,” she replied back, feeling him panting on top of her. They took a minute to regain their thoughts, and words, and when it all came back to them, he rolled them over, pulling her up onto his body.

Sighing in content, Natalie nestled closer to Josh’s bare chest. A smile slipped onto her lips when he kissed her forehead and intertwined their fingers.

“I love you,” Josh whispered into her hair, sending tingles down her spine.

“I love you, too,” Natalie whispered back, kissing his chest.

They lapsed into a comfortable silence, just enjoying being together once again. But Natalie’s mind was racing. Cameron’s words were ringing in her ears, and she knew that she needed to tell Josh. She figured now was as good of time as ever.

“Babe, I need to tell you something,” she spoke, quietly, sitting up slightly to look at him.

His eyebrows knitted together, “What is it?”

“So, um...” Natalie struggled to find the right words. “Over the past couple months, I’ve been getting sick occasionally in the morning. I thought it was from stress but it’s gotten worse lately,” she was rushing with her words and fidgeting around nervously, “So, I went to the doctor last week and—”

“Are you pregnant?” Josh cut in, staring up at her with wide eyes that were sparkling with excitement.

Natalie blushed, knowing she had been rambling. “Yeah—”

Josh cut her off again, but with his lips this time. He pushed Natalie back onto the bed and positioned himself on top of her, once more. Natalie smiled against his lips, threading her fingers through his hair as she kissed him back. She pulled back after a moment or two.

“You’re happy, then?”

“So fucking happy, baby,” he laughed, running his thumb along the apples of her cheeks. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Josh.”

At that moment, Natalie felt as if life was perfect, as if her whole world had sudden snapped back onto the right track and everything was going to turn out just fine in the end. For the first time in a long time, she didn’t feel afraid of what was to come and soaked up the night with Josh, knowing that it would not be their last.

“Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself, ‘Will it ever get better than tonight?’”