Just A Memory

Chapter One

 

Winter 1990

The wind whipped the snow against the windows of the two story house. Whispers filled the front room, where two little kids laid sprawled out in front of the warm fire place.

“My mama called last week, she wants me to come visit her in California next week.” The sound of a young girl’s voice filled the warm air. Her unruly brown curls falling in her eyes. She pushed them aside and flipped on her back looking at the shadows cast on the ceiling from the fire.

“Next week is Christmas! You aint leavin!” The young boys’ voice softened by the pillow his face was in. His hand reached over and grabbed the girls’ hand holding it in to his. “Don’t go, Riley please.” His voiced pleaded causing the little girl to roll her eyes.

Riley pulled her hand away from his as she turned over on to her side. She looked at his tamed blonde curls and shoved his shoulder with her hand.

“I’ll be home before school starts, don’t act like a baby Randall. You always go see your father.” She wrinkled her nose flipping back on to her back.

“Riley?” Randall asked moving so he was facing her.

“Hmm?” Her voice laced with sleep moving her head to look at him.

“I love you.” He sighed reaching out and holding her hand, a small smile on his face.

“I love you too Randall.” She smiled at him before closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep.

 

Madison rubbed her eyes as she closed the top to her laptop. She was having a hard time getting the words right on the page. She was majoring in English, and had to write story, fiction or non fiction it was up to her but her creative writing professor let the classes know it had to be at least 50 pages deep, and turned in a month before classes ended. That month was in two weeks, she was only on the tenth page.

 

“Madison?” A strong female voice called out as she entered the front door of the house.

 

A woman in her early forties, short brown curly hair and green eyes smiled warmly at a worn out looking Madison. Madison smiled over to her as she stood up and stretched her long body.

 

“How is the short story coming a long baby?” She asked giving the younger female a tight hug.

 

“Ma, if it were a short story it would be done by now. This was harder than I thought it would be. I think I’m going to start something new, something not about my life.” She gave a sloppy grin looking at her mother.

 

“Now we both know you want to write this. Don’t give up just yet.” Madison’s mother smiled as she walked towards the front door, “Now get your ass in gear, Amanda’s in the car. She wanted to go out and eat dinner, something about school news; she said we could only hear over dinner.” She rolled her eyes as Madison grabbed her coat and purse.

 

As Madison locked the front door, she felt two little arms go around her waist. A small smile crept on her face looking down at the unruly light brown curls that flopped everywhere on the little girls head.

 

“Mommy, Grandma said we can eat out at a reaaaaalll nice restaurant.” Amanda smiled her blue eyes big with joy.

 

Madison half rolled her eyes as she picked up her six year old daughter and walked towards her mothers’ car. The three sat in silence for a while as they drove down the highway leading into Hollywood.

 

“Ma, what is the real reason we are we are driving into Hollywood for dinner? I know Amanda didn’t ask, what are you doing you know I can’t afford dinner here of all places.” Madison sighed closing her tired green eyes.

 

“Mad, we just wanted you to get out. Amanda said she wanted to go eat out and that all you do is type away on your computer. She understands you are stress about this story and she wants you to be happy. We both want you to finish up school, so you can start your dream of becoming the writer we all know you’ll be. Even if that means you moving back in with me and not that little small ass apartment you call home.” Grace gave a half smile at her oldest daughter.

 

They pulled up to a small restaurant called Joy Cook, not many people noticed it, but it was the best food they had had in a long time. They found the place seven years ago when Madison moved to California to live with her mom. Joy Cook was the place she told her mother she was pregnant and that was one reason she wanted to move out to be with her. Madison knew she wouldn’t survive in the small town she was living in, being pregnant at 16.

 

Grace never asked much about the father, if she did Madison shot her down and stormed out of the room. She didn’t want him to know, she knew he would hate her for what happened. After a while Grace stopped asking, knowing she would get the same reaction out of Madison every time. The only thing Grace didn’t understand was why Madison cut off all contact to everyone back in Tennessee. She called her father one time in the seven years she was living there. That one time was to let him know she got there, after that not a thing.

 

Grace knew she wasn’t close with her daughter like a mother should be. She devoiced Madison’s father when she was young and left, unable to take care of her self let a lone a little girl. She left and that was her choice to be away from her daughter to not be there for her. She didn’t get why Madison didn’t let Amanda’s father have a choice in being in his daughters’ life, but she knew she would never get through Madison’s stubbornness.

 

“Mommy guesses what Mrs. Moore gave us for an assignment.” Amanda bounced as they sat eating their pasta.

 

“What?” Madison questioned taking a sip of her wine, looking at her daughter.

 

“She said since we study family trees and uh… families, that she wants us to um… bring in pictures of our mommy’s and dads!” Amanda grinned eating some garlic bread.

 

Madison looked up at her mom, who was giving her a knowing look the ‘I told you so’ look as she ate her food.

 

“Well…”

“I tolds her I didn’t have a dad, but she told me that just because he don’t live with me don’t mean I don’t have one. That I can still bring in a picture of him. So can I? I have a dad, she said so mommy!” Amanda sucked her spaghetti noodle in as it whipped her face.

 

“We’ll talk about it when we get home.” Madison sighed finishing her glass of wine, trying to avoid her mothers look.

 

Amanda fell asleep on the ride back. Leaving it more silent then an empty house could sound Madison deep in her thoughts, Grace trying to think of something to say.

 

“Mad, who is he?” Grace asked causing Madison to roll her eyes wishing there wasn’t traffic keeping them on that high way.

 

“Ma, please…”

 

“Stop trying to forget him, who is he? Why do you think you can let that little angel grow up with out a father, who is he?” Grace asked again hoping her daughter grew up some the last time she asked years ago.

 

Madison sighed and rubbed a hand over her eyes. She didn’t want to do this to her self. It took her years of seeing her daughter to forget that she was stupid enough to sleep with him, let alone not let him know what they both created.

 

“He is just a stupid boy.” Madison stated turning on the radio, then quickly turning it off. “A stupid boy I thought I loved, he didn’t love me so here we are.” She added looking back at her beautiful daughter.

 

“Mad, how do you know he didn’t love you? You left, I’m sure with out even telling him you were pregnant.” Graced sighed as traffic started to pick up slightly.

 

“He… was dating this girl he had known for a few years. We had did it a few times while he was visiting his family, and then he left. I found out a month in a half later, a few weeks later I told dad I wanted to move in with you.” Madison pushed a stray tear away, “Don’t try to get his name out of me Ma, I won’t tell you. I don’t even know him any more. I don’t know what you want me to do.” She added a few more tears falling out of her green eyes.

 

Grace sighed and looked at her daughter as traffic came to a halt once again. “You should have told him Madison. Now Amanda is asking about him, what are you going to do? How are you going to get out of this one? She is at that age where she needs and wants a father around.” Grace commented causing Madison to roll her eyes.

 

“I’ll get through it ma, don’t worry about it.” Madison pushed a tear away with her hand and looked out the window. “Can she stay the weekend with you? I really need to finish this paper up, and one of the girls at the office asked me to do some work with her. I’m not sure what we are doing, but she said the pay is really good and that we will be having a ton of fun.” She added turning her head to look at her mother.

 

“Of course she can.” Was all Grace said, the rest of the car ride was silent.

 

Summer 1995

Riley, clad in swim wear and Randall in swim wear as well sat on the curb outside the local store. The two 14 year olds normally hung out in front of the store not having anything else to do after spending the last two hours in the river trying to cool off from the hundred degree heat. Usually there would be their other friends with them, but they had left them at the river.

“Ri, I wish you could come with me.” Randall sighed licking his ice cream cone looking over at Riley who was doing the same.

“Well I’m kind of glad I don’t get to come. I’d be away from all my friends and around all these guys whom I’ve never met before. I wouldn’t want to do that to my self. Plus this is your thing Randall, you’re the talented one.” Riley gave a sloppy smile pushing her shoulder into his.

Randall rolled his eyes and stood up stretching his newly tanned body out he walked over to the quarter candy machines, placing the quarter in and turning the knob. He smiled pulling out the toy that he got with his dollar.

“Hey Riley,” He smiled popping the top off and taking out the object.

Randall looked over at Riley who rolled her eyes and stood up stretching her long body out as well, she threw her towel over her tanned shoulder and slowly walked towards him. She giggled at him as he got down on one knee.

“Will you marry me sweetheart?” He suppressed a laugh taking Riley’s finger and placing the plastic 25 cent ring on it.

Randall stood up and slung his arm around her shoulder pulling her with him as he started to walk towards their homes.

“Thanks for the jester, but I’m pretty sure Leonardo DiCaprio and I is gonna get married.” Riley rolled her eyes

“You know you and I are going to end up getting married and having a few beautiful kids.” Randall smirked at Riley who rolled her eyes at him again.

Just A Memory

Chapter Two

Spring 1997

Riley was sitting out on the front porch, the cordless phone between her shoulder and ear. Her hands tied up with black fingernail polish still wet, her curls hidden under a black beanie.

“Riley please!” Randall’s voice whined over the phone causing Riley to roll her eyes. She not only hated it when he whined, but she hated it when she gave him what he wanted. “I’ll be home in three weeks. That is 21 days, please.” He was begging now, which caused Riley to snicker, he was the only 16 year old she knew who would whine and beg like a dog.

“Randall, I already have a date. And for the past two years you’ve been telling me you’ll be home in three weeks.” Riley stated what was the obvious to him, he’d been gone for the past two years, they talked on the phone at least once a week. In the two years he would tell her he’d be home in three weeks.

Riley couldn’t count on both hands how many times she heard that line come out of his mouth. But she also knew if he whined enough she would give in to him.

“I’m telling the truth this time. I have to come home, my cousin is graduating, and my grams threatened me with no peach cobbler if I didn’t come.” He giggled slightly

Riley started to paint her toe nails black, she got into the punk phase around the time Randall had left. Going to parties, staying out all night not going to school, she knew better but she didn’t care, she just wanted to have a little fun before her father made her go to an ivy league college.

“I’ll tell my date I can’t go with him as long as you stop whining. You are 16 years old and living in England. Stop being such a pansy, I can’t believe those freaks you live with haven’t turned you into a man!” She giggled hearing him groan.

She always brought that up.

“Riley…I…lo…” Randall’s word ended with laughter and playful banter from the guys in the back ground.

Riley rolled her eyes, every phone called this happened. He would get to mushy, or he would whine too much and the guys would start harassing him, not caring that he was still in fact on the phone. She giggled slightly hearing them call him a whipped bitch; he of course would fire back with something more immature and random. But she loved it, she loved hearing the way they teased him the way they tried to make him more grown up.

“Sorry ‘bout that.” He was out of breath, which was something they both became used to when ever he was on the phone with her. The guys always seemed to pick on him.

Riley sighed as she moved the plastic ring around the string that held it around her neck. She stood up and walked around the porch stretching her legs out. She pulled her beanie off her head showing her very short, bright red curly hair. She had gotten bored one afternoon while she was skipping school, so she cut almost all her hair off and died it a bright red color. Her father wasn’t to pleased but figured if he laid into her about it she’d color it black, and he’d rather her color it bright colors instead of deathly colors.

“Riley…” Randall sighed into the phone stiffing a yawn.

“Randall… I’m gonna let ya go… I gotta date…” Riley trailed off as she messed with the bottom of her worn Korn T-shirt.

The line was quiet.

 

Madison laughed loudly at the antics of her co-worker, Jayne Jones. Jayne slipped on her black high heals and ruffled the back of her head. Her short black hair was styled to look messed up. She was wearing a black skirt and pink belly baring, barley there shirt. The two of them had to wear suits to work, and on casual Fridays, they had they couldn’t wear anything that showed their shoulders or stomachs. They both got hired at a local news paper; they both were in their senior year of college, both wanting to become famous writers.

 

Madison wore a pair of tight blue jeans, and a yellow shirt that hung low, showing cleavage. Her curly hair was tamed and pulled up with yellow butterfly clips. She still wasn’t sure what they would be doing, but she liked the fact they were going to be dressed nicely.

 

“Mad let’s get going.” Jayne tapped her foot as she stood by the door.

 

“Where are we going anyway?” Madison questioned grabbing her purse and walking out of her apartment with Jayne leading the way to Jayne’s car.

 

Jayne smiled as they headed towards down town L.A. It was a warm Saturday afternoon, which wasn’t odd for the middle of April. Madison smiled over at Jayne; it was the first time in few months she got to go and do something other than be with her daughter.

 

“You see I know someone at work who knows someone that got us this job today. We’ll be getting paid one-hundred dollars an hour.” Jayne shrugged her shoulders pulling into the Hilton parking garage.

 

Madison gave Jayne another questionable look as they got out of the car and walked to the elevator. Jayne shrugged her shoulders and smiled pressing a floor number.

 

“So we are working for someone who is staying in the Hilton, and who has enough money to pay us 100 dollars an hour?” Madison raised an eyebrow causing Jayne to laugh. “Something isn’t clicking, I’ve known you for almost five years, and you don’t just accept jobs unless they have a way of getting you close to being famous.” Madison added making Jayne laugh some more.

 

“You know me so well Mad.” Jayne smirked as they got off on the 19th floor.

 

There were two people standing just a few feet away from the elevator. The first one was a man holding a walking talky; the second was a female holding a clip board. Madison and Jayne stopped at the two of them; the two of them had all access badges around her neck.

 

“Your names…” The man asked looking down at the two ladies.

 

“I’m Jayne Jones, and this is Madison Anderson.” Jayne smiled sticking her arm out in a hand shake. The man shook her hand and looked at the woman standing next to him. She gave him a nod and he called over his walky-talky for someone to come and get the two.

 

“It’ll just be a moment.” The lady smiled turning her head to see a tall black man walking down the hall towards them. “Mike, Ms. Jones, and Ms. Anderson from the LA Daily News Paper...” The lady said over her shoulder gesturing towards Madison and Jayne.

 

Madison watched as a few more people walked towards them, behind the man named Mike. Her eyes focused on the lanyard around all their necks and the name that adored them. She closed her eyes and grabbed Jayne’s arm causing Jayne to look at her with confusion all over her face.

 

“I… I have to go.” Madison whispered to Jayne who gave her a wide eyed smile and grabbed her hand.

 

“Amanda is with your family, you have 20 pages left and two weeks to do them in, and I drove here. So where do you have to go, and why?” Jayne asked as they were handed all access badges to put around their necks and lead down the hall way.

 

Madison sighed and shrugged her shoulders; she knew Jayne didn’t know about her past she didn’t get to read her story so she wasn’t doing this on purpose. It wasn’t like they were going to actually see the guys, and if they did there would be another people constantly around them.

 

“Never… mind” She mumbled over to a giddy looking Jayne. “I just didn’t know work had the two of us come here. Making us walk the teen beat.” She added with a slight roll of her eyes.

 

“So I lied a little, but I knew If I mentioned anything *NSYNC you would tell me to go fuck a dog backwards.” Jayne smiled an evil smile at Madison.

 

They were lead into a large room where many people were laughing and eating lunch. They were the only ‘reporter’ type people there, everyone else belonged there and were always there. Of course Jayne didn’t know why Madison hated *NSYNC and didn’t allow Amanda to listen to their music or watch anything with them. No one knew except for her self. They were lead around the room by the big black man named Mike; he introduced them to most of the people. A few of the band members were there; Chris, Lance and Joey as were their parents.

 

They made their way around the room and were stopped where JC was with a few friends.

 

“Have we met?” JC asked causing Madison and step back slightly.

 

“I’m sure you’ve met a lot of fake curly haired girls in your life time Mr. Chasez, but I’m almost one-hundred percent positive we’ve never met.” Madison gave a toothy grin; JC looked at her for a few more seconds before he shrugged it off to what she said.

 

“I’m sure you’re…” And his words were lost to her, her eyes landed on a shaved headed blue eye wonder and his mother.

 

Randall

 

“Justin… comes over here” JC hollered causing Justin to give him a bored look before the slowly made his way towards his best friend. “J, this is Ms. Jo…”

“Jayne Jones and this is Madison A…”

 

“Simpson.” Madison cut Jayne off who cut JC off. They both stuck their hands out, and Justin shook them.

 

Justin looked the two over for a few seconds as JC started talking about the tour and the fans. There was something oddly familiar about Madison, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

 

“Do I know you?” Justin asked interrupting JC’s boring speech about how much he really did love all the fans, which was almost the truth.

 

Madison rolled her eyes and pulled at a lose curl that fell in her face. This was going to be a long day of lying to the very man she wanted more than anything to tell the truth to. Jayne giggled next to her, snapping her out of her thoughts. She pulled her hand away from her lose curl.

 

“Nah J, we just went through this. You know how many girls want your curls, so they get perms, and they want the blue eyes as well.” JC slapped Justin on the back

 

“Mine are real, I wish they weren’t but they are.” Madison gave a half ass smile over towards the two men about to walk away and talk with someone else.

 

“Can I get an autograph for my niece?” Jayne asked Justin causing Madison to turn around and grab Jayne’s arm.

 

“What are you doing?” she asked through clinched teeth, “You don’t have a niece.” She added causing Justin and JC to give them weird looks. JC raised an eyebrow and patted Justin on the back walking away leaving him between the two girls.

 

Jayne sighed knowing she had to spill the beans. “Fine, I was getting it for Amanda, she once told me Justin was her favorite *NSYNC member because as she put it, he looks like her.” Jayne gave an unsure smile to Madison, “I know you forbid her to see, or listen to them…” She stopped when Justin interrupted them.

 

“Wait, whose Amanda, and why would you have the authority to forbid her to listen to *NSYNC?” Justin asked causing Madison to roll her eyes, and Jayne to smile.

 

“Amanda is Madison’s 6 year old daughter. For some reason Madison won’t allow her to listen to your music.” Jayne giggled not paying attention to how pissed off Madison was becoming. She grabbed her wallet out of her purse and pulled at a picture of Madison and Amanda handing it to Justin.

 

Madison grabbed it out of their hands and shoved it in her purse. “I’m sorry Mr. Timberlake, but just like you, my private life is mine, and not yours.” She commented turning on her heal and walking away from the two of them. The truth be known, Amanda looked just like her father, except she had her mothers nose.

 

Madison knew she was being rude, but she worked years to make him her past and she didn’t want Jayne to ruin everything with one little photo.

Just A Memory

Chapter Three

 

Riley checked her self in the mirror one last time. She hadn’t seen Randall in almost two years. She was a little nervous; she knew she looked different, much different from when he left in the summer of 1995. She put her black beanie over her bright red curls, and fixed her black eyeliner. She was wearing a pair of torn up jeans, and police t-shirt, on her feet were black flip-flops. She shoved a piece of gum in her mouth and ran down the stairs and out the front door.

Riley knocked on the door and waited a few minutes, she knew they were home, she saw them pull in late last night. She was surprised he hadn’t come right over when he got home. She knocked again with no luck, she was about to walk across the street when the door was pulled open. A man she didn’t know was standing there, bare chest in swim trunks, blue eyes wide a small smile on his lips.

“Hi… uh, can I help you?” He asked looking her over a few times.

Riley snapped her gum, she looked him over as well as a small smile fell on her soft pink lips. She shoved her hand out towards him, causing him to step back for a second then blush.

“Heya, I’m Madison, is Justin home?” She asked as the blue eyed wonder shook her hand.

“Josh…Uh…” He gave her a weird look turning his head over his shoulder then back at her. “No Justin lives here…” He stated as he started to close the door in her face.

“Bullshit, I’ve lived across the street from Randall for 15 years, I know he is here I saw ya’ll pull in last night.” Riley snapped pushing past him into the house.

Josh turned around and took off after her, “Maybe you didn’t hear me, No Justin lives…”

“RILEY!” Josh’s words faded as Randall tackled Riley to the ground, she pushed him off of her and stood up giving Josh a dirty look.

“Who is the body guard; he had the guts to shut the door in my face.” She stated raising an eyebrow as Justin got up and hugged her to him.

“He’s one of the guys.” Justin stated letting her go from the hug. “You look different, where is your hair… YOUR HAIR!” Justin hollered after he pulled the beanie off to revel her bright red hair.

Riley gave a small smirk as she twisted a few small curls in her fingers, she shrugged her shoulders and walked towards the kitchen, getting something to eat. She felt good being in this house again. Josh grabbed Randall and stopped him.

“That’s your best friend J?” He asked causing Justin to raise an eyebrow.

“She’s fine ain’t she?” Randall smirked, it getting bigger as Josh nodded his head. “That’s why she’s my girl.” He added this time serious shrugging Josh’s hand off him and walking towards Riley.

 

Madison rolled over in her bed; she opened her eyes and looked at her little girl standing there with tears in her eyes. She pulled the little girl up on the bed and under the covers; she ran her fingers though her curls.

 

“What’s wrong Mandy?” Madison asked as she brushed the little tears away.

 

“I dun feel good mommy.” Her little voice let out before she started to cough.

 

Madison sighed and placed the back of her and on Amanda’s forehead; sure enough she was running a fever. And she HAD to work today, no getting around it, after her and Jayne’s teen beat walk; they were put on it permanently. Madison grabbed the phone on her bed side table and dialed her mothers’ number.

 

“Simpson resident, this is Crystal.” Crystal, Madison’s half sister said into the phone with a slight laugh.

 

“Cris, is mom home?” Madison asked she could almost hear the roll of her eyes as she grunted a yes into the phone.

 

“Mad, is everything okay sweetie?” Grace asked sitting down in her office.

 

“Ma, can you watch Amanda for me today. She is sick, and I have to go do this job I would take her to the day care, but since she’s sick she can’t go.” Madison sighed in to the phone as Amanda coughed again.

 

Madison got off the phone with her mother a few moments after she got on; she got Amanda some children medicine, and then packed her over night bag. Madison sighed as she looks at her reflection in the mirror. She would rather be at home with her daughter, taking care of her, but she had to go to Britney Spears’ album release party. Apparently *NSYNC had good things to say about Jayne and Her, so Britney requested the two of them do an in dept interview with her just before the party.

 

Madison knew she’d run into Justin again, she had been nothing but a bitch to him the whole time her and Jayne were around them three weeks ago. It was the only way she knew how to act with out coming clean to him. He most likely wouldn’t believe her, since there were millions of girls claiming to have his love child. She ran a hand over her face and looked at her watch, she had an appointment in an hour to get her hair straightened, and she decided to do it, after meeting up with JC and Justin.

 

Grace hollered Madison’s name out, causing her to jump slightly in the bathroom. She hated having her mother always watch after her child, she knew it was unfair, but Grace was always willing to help her daughter out in everything.

 

“Thanks ma.” Madison gave her a half smile bringing Amanda out into the front room.

 

“Don’t worry about it. When you work for the company you work for, not showing is a big thing. I love having her around anyway, she’s a doll.” Grace smiled running a hand over Amanda’s forehead.

 

“I still feel bad ma.” Madison stated walking into the kitchen.

 

“It would be easier if her father was…”

 

“Not today please.” Madison cut her mother off before she could finish, “You know that I’m not going to cave. Someone like him wouldn’t help the situation at all, it would make it worse, he wouldn’t be around and then we’d both be upset.” She said too much, she knew she did she knew her mother was going to question her.

 

Madison sighed and grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator, she wanted to tell her mom it was Lynn’s boy Justin, but then that would just end in havoc. Grace wasn’t all that close with Lynn any more, but they still sent Christmas cards to each other, and birthday cards. Madison knew her mother would give Lynn a call letting her know she had a six year old grand daughter; Madison wouldn’t put it past her to do that.

 

“Madison you need to grow up sometime.” Grace stated slinging Amanda’s over night bag on her shoulder then lifting Amanda up. She didn’t say anything after that and left Madison standing there shocked at her mothers words.

 

Madison knew she needed to grow up, but she didn’t want to ruin his life with news that he was a father. He was happy doing the music thing, and being famous, he had always been happy in the lime light.

 

 

---

 

 

Jayne and Madison were standing in line waiting to get into the club; an hour ago they finished interviewing Britney Spears. She was very open about her and Justin’s break up, which caught Madison off guard; she didn’t know they broke up. They were dating when she was still Justin’s friend back in Memphis.

Madison was wearing a short black skirt and purple shirt, her hair was straight and laying across the middle of her back. Jayne was wearing a pair of tight blue jeans, and a tattered police t-shirt, her dark hair was died to a dark red color.

 

“Jayne, you think I should tell Amanda’s father about her?” Madison asked handing their passes to the bouncer, her let the pass.

 

“I… uh… I thought you had” Jayne stated as Madison pulled her off to the side, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

 

“No, I moved to my moms when I found out. I never told him, I was… so… terrified that I would ruin his future if he knew.” Madison sighed looking around them, hoping he wasn’t lurking around.

 

“What brought this on?” Jayne asked taking Madison’s arm into her hand.

 

“My ma, she… she told me to grow up. He should know, his ma should know. It… It just… it ain’t easy, ya know. He’s in this whole other world… I dunno…” Madison rambled

 

“In my opinion you should have told him six years ago. But it’s never too late.” Jayne smiled turning the two of them around to be face to face with JC and Justin.

 

“Hello Jayne, Madison.” JC smiled at the two of them winking at Madison before grabbing Jayne’s hand, “Mind dancing with me?” He asked not waiting for an answer as he dragged her away from Madison and Justin.

 

Madison gave Justin a slightly annoyed look as she started passed him, only to have him grab her arm and stop her. She turned around pissed that he would have the nerve to touch her.

 

“How is Amanda?” He asked causing her to give him a very dirty look, “You said you had a daughter, how is she?” He added watching her close her eyes and sigh.

 

“She’s sick and at my mothers, since I’m here by request of your girlfriend.” Madison crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her foot.

 

She didn’t like the fact that he wanted to know about her daughter like it was any of his business, even though it was his, he didn’t know yet. She wasn’t asking if he had any kids, she wasn’t nosy. She had been nothing but a bitch to him last time they were around each other, yet he was still being nice and civil to her. The same Justin she left when she was younger.

 

“She ain’t my girl, haven’t been for over a year. You should go home and be with her. I bet she looks just like you.” He looked her up and down.

 

“Well Mr. Timberlake I came here in Jayne’s car so no I can’t just leave and no, she looks just like her father.” Madison stated turning on her heal and walking away.

 

Justin took off after her as she pushed her way towards the bar, ordering a shot of tequila. He reached her and ordered them both shots of tequila; he leaned against the bar and watched her take her third shot.

 

“How come you hate me so much? You don’t even know me.” He tried to ask smoothly.

 

Madison rolled her eyes at him and threw her hair over her shoulder and asked for one more shot. She wanted to get drunk, and fast but the shots weren’t taking effect yet. She glanced around the crowded club looking for Jayne. Now was the time for her to grab Jayne and leave the club before anything stupid happens.

There was an attraction between the two of them; it had always been there before they knew what French kissing felt like. It seemed to be there when they were babies; everyone said they’d end up married when they were younger. It was obvious to everyone around them then and now that they had chemistry.

 

“You are absolutely right Mr. Timberlake, I don’t know you. And I don’t plan on getting to know you.” She shot him a dirty look taking her fifth shot in ten minutes. “You don’t know me either, so don’t try and play hurt. I’m just some girl who you’ll never see again after this, so get over the fact that I’m not fazed by your stardom.” She added grabbing her mixed drink she first ordered and started to walk towards a booth.

 

Justin told the bartended to keep the drinks coming to the table where they would be sitting, and he followed her. She intrigued him, and he wanted to get to know her even if she kept pushing him away. The more she pushed him away the more he wanted her to want him. He did find her attractive, his mother even said she was beautiful, she never called anyone beautiful; the last person she said that of was Riley. Then she disappeared with not even a good bye.

 

“Let me get to know you.” He said sliding in next to her, blocking her from getting out of the booth.

 

“I… no… I’m too complicated.” She stated finishing her mixed drink only to have another one sitting in front of her, and her old one gone.

 

“Let me be the judge on who is too complicated.” Justin flashed a grin moving Madison’s hair behind her ear.

 

Madison looked up at him; the shots of tequila were slowly hitting her. She finished her drink and looked down at the table. She wanted to just pull out Amanda’s pictures and tell him everything. That he had a beautiful six year old daughter, that she was his Riley. But she just gave him a half ass smile and grabbing his long island iced tea, she finished that and stood up.

 

“Lets…. Uh, dance!” Her eyes got big; she didn’t know what she was doing.

 

“No, too many people out there sit here and talk with me Madison.” He stated putting his hand on her leg. She sat down and looked at him.

 

“Ugh, what do you want to know? I’ll be the famous whore, and you can be a reporter, ask away!” She rolled her eyes

 

Justin smiled his famous smile at her and got them a few more drinks. This is what he wanted to get to know her to get in her brain, to figure at why she hated him so much, to figure out her. He had called up the news paper she worked for two weeks ago, but they said they had no Madison Simpson on their pay role. The also said they couldn’t tell him if they had any other Madison’s working for them, because they could lose their job.

 

An hour later, and she avoided answering all the questions to pertain to the father of Amanda, her full name, and her birthday. He got out of her that she was originally from Tennessee, but moved out to California when she was still in high school. That she never told Amanda’s father she was pregnant, and that at some times in the past six years, she’s dialed his number millions of times to let him know, but hung up before he answered.

 

“Can I see a picture of her?” Justin asked his hand running up and down Madison’s leg.

 

“Like I said an hour ago, no you can’t see her.” Madison stated drinking Justin’s long island ice tea again. “Stop asking, I don’t feel you need to see her, you won’t be in our lives after toni-” Her words stopped suddenly with his lips smashed against hers.

 

Madison pushed at his shoulders moving him off of her. “Damn it let me kiss you Riley!” He half shouted trying to kiss her again. Her heart stopped, had he just called her Riley? She was about to push him again but JC and Jayne came strolling up, causing Justin to move away from her slightly. A few tears fell from her eyes as she jumped up and went towards the exit.

 

Randall stopped at the hotel door, he looked over at Riley she was giggling about something. A smirk fell on his lips when he pushed the door open and he heard her gasp. He had Josh come over and sit up the room. White candle’s illuminated the room, white and red rose pedals made a path into the master suite and up the steps to the bed. To him it was the perfect way to end a perfect night.

“If you don…” His words ended with her lips attacking his.

“Don’t say stupid things Randy.” She smiled against his lips as her hands attacked his belt, zipper and buttons on his pants.

They quickly fell to the ground; she pulled her arms around her back and unzipped her dress, he slowly falling down her long body. He was instantly hard looking at her in just a bra and a pair of panties. She kissed him again, as she worked his shirt off. They both knew that each other weren’t virgins, but to him, he felt like she was ten years older than him at that moment. Everything she did, felt like she had done it millions of times before.

She turned away from him and started towards the bed, she looked over her shoulder as she threw her bra away from her. He was still standing where she left him. She smiled at him as she got on the bed throwing her panties some where.

He pulled off the rest of his clothes and ran towards her, in one leap he was on top of her kissing her deeply, groaning into her mouth. He felt like a virgin again, not knowing if he was doing things right with her. When he finely thrusts in her, almost crumbling hearing the moan that fell off her lips when he did it, he wasn’t sure how long he was going to go with her.

“Damn it Riley.” He sighed into her ear after it was all over; he pulled her naked body to his and kissed the back of her neck.

It felt right to the both of them, lying in each others arms after one of the most memorable moments in their lives. He didn’t want it to end, and neither did she, to them it was perfect. They didn’t realize they had sex with no protection; they passed that up and forgot that you can get pregnant at any time when having sex. They still didn’t realize it when they did it again, and again that night.

 

Just A Memory

Chapter Four

 

Madison laughed as her daughter told her a joke, it wasn’t a real joke but the six year old thought she was the best joke teller. It was times where it was just the two of them that Madison loved, even if she had a horrible hang over from the night before. She could barely remember coming into her apartment with the help of Jayne. She didn’t want to get that drunk again.

 

“Mommy, are the cookies done?” Amanda’s eyes got wide hearing the buzzer go off in the kitchen.

 

“Go wash your hands, and you can have one.” Madison smiled at Amanda as she turned and walked into the kitchen to retrieve the chocolate chip cookies out of the stove.

 

Madison cursed under her breath when she almost dropped the cookie pan when the loud ringing noise of the door bell went off in the kitchen. Her headache was still there, even though she took a billion pills of Excedrin. She could hear Amanda running out of the bathroom to answer the door.

 

“Manda, who is at the door baby?” Madison hollered putting the second batch of cookies in the stove. “Amanda?” Only this time slight panic in her voice when she didn’t hear her daughter answer, but heard the door open.

 

Madison walked into the front room and stopped dead in her tracks. There he was, standing there a beanie on his shaved head, sunglasses over his eyes standing in the door way staring at Amanda like he just saw a ghost. Amanda was doing the same thing, staring at him like she knew it was her father, like she could sense that he helped make her. Madison took a deep breath and stooped down eye level with her daughter.

 

“Go play in your room.” She said sternly her daughter just nodding her head and running out of sight. Madison stood up and gave him a dirty look. “Who the hell do you think you are? Coming to my house?” She snapped him out of his thoughts.

 

“I…uh… I’m… I… you see…” He stumbled over words, “You left this at the club, I…uh…I didn’t go through it…. JC had Jayne’s number… so… I” He shook his head slightly and took a deep breath. “I came to apologize; I was very drunk last night. I shouldn’t have kissed you. I know I called you someone else, that just goes to show you how drunk I was. You left this at the club, I called Jayne she gave me your address. Don’t you worry I didn’t go through it, as much as I wanted to, I didn’t.” He finely got out shoving her purse towards her.

 

Justin removed his sunglasses and stuck him in the pocket of his coat. His eyes were scanning Madison, she looked lost at the fact that he of all people would be standing in her door way. She looked away from him and towards the direction her daughter ran off. She started to close the door on him, but he moved his foot in the way stopping it from shutting.

 

“You are right, she is beautiful. You are very lucky.” Justin got out, he wanted to say something else but he couldn’t.

 

“I know, but you can’t be here. You need to go.” Madison sighed not looking at him.

 

“Please let me stay. As a friend of mine you won’t make me leave. My mom is driving me in sane. She saw your purse on my kitchen table and I had to listen to her rant about how I shouldn’t have meaningless sex with girls I just meet at clubs. Please, I promise to play good with Amanda.” Justin gave his million dollar smile.

 

Madison sighed and looked back seeing Amanda standing there with a slight smile on her face. She was going to get the wrong idea; she was going to believe this was her father. It is her father, but Madison didn’t want him to be there. She had six years to think about it, he isn’t the Randall she left at home; this guy in front of her was someone else. Someone who had meaningless sex with a different woman a night, who drank every night who didn’t care about what his mother had to say to him; this wasn’t the guy she loved back then, this was someone completely different.

 

“I guess.” She let out causing Amanda to jump up and down and giggle.

 

Justin winked at Madison and walked passed her and over to Amanda. He picked her up and they went to play Barbie’s in the bedroom. Madison felt her heart ache as a few tears fell out of her eyes. She didn’t know what to do, she wanted to then she didn’t want to tell him. If she told him, he’d hate that she left and waited this long to tell him. If she didn’t tell him, Amanda would think her father just abandoned her. Madison sighed and grabbed the phone; she didn’t know what to do.

 

“Jayne Jones.” Jayne’s usually perky voice sounded dead over the phone.

 

“Jay.” Madison sighed into the phone causing her friend to stop whatever she was doing, and leave who ever she was talking to in a different room.

 

“What’s wrong Mad, is everything okay, is it Amanda?” Jayne asked

 

“I’m going to tell you something that only I know. Please don’t get mad at me.” Madison held a cry.

 

“Of course Mad, you know I wouldn’t get mad at you.” Jayne sighed into the phone.

 

“Amanda’s father is here.” Madison let her breath out, it felt good to say those words.

 

“I’m glad you told him, are you okay honey? Do you want me to come over or something?” Jayne asked already making plans to come over and be there for her.

 

Madison sighed, “I didn’t tell him. He just…showed up at the door holding my purse.” She breathed out causing Jayne to almost drop the phone she was on.

 

“What are you saying?” She asked, “Justin’s the father?” She whispered

 

Damn Jayne and trying to hook her up all the time, she sent him over he could have given the purse to JC to give to Jayne to give to her, but she just gave Justin the address. But Madison knew she couldn’t be mad at Jayne, she knew Jayne was just trying to hook her up with a decent guy, who always asked about her daughter.

 

“Yes…” Madison breathed out roughly pushing tears off her face.

 

Madison stood up and paced her bedroom, she didn’t want to be upset at the fact that he was in her home. She had always thought they would be together, then they had sex he left she found out she was pregnant and she freaked out leaving everything behind. She knew he had asked her mom a few times about her, but her mom promised she wouldn’t tell anyone anything. After a few months he stopped calling, he stopped trying.

 

“Tell him Mad, he needs to know, I bet you he won’t hate you.” Jayne sighed into the phone picking at the bottom of her t-shirt.

 

“Jayne, I know I should have told you this a long time ago, but I couldn’t. And I can’t tell him, he has so much going for him. Telling him he has a six year old daughter will just add stress to his life.” She noted plopping down on her bed with a loud sigh.

 

Madison could hear voices in the background wherever Jayne was, she heard the phone being tugged at heard a voice she thought she heard before then Jayne was back.

 

“If we are coming clean with these, ‘I should’ve told ya’ shits, I got to tell you something big in my life then, been keeping it from you for about three years.” Jayne stated in the phone, “I’ve been dating JC Chasez for three years. We keep it to our selves no one besides the rest of the guys, my self and our families know about it. We want to keep it that way.” Jayne added quickly

 

Madison’s eyes bulged out and she took a deep breath. It was no wonder the two of them seemed so comfortable together; she thought it was just the alcohol they drank. Madison was thankful that Jayne at least kept a promise that out side of work, she wasn’t Madison Anderson, she was Madison Simpson. She didn’t want the wrong or right people to know her name.

 

“Well that…” Madison’s words ended with a shrill sound coming from all over the apartment, her fire alarm.

 

She ended the call with Jayne and ran out of her room to see the apartment filled with smoke. She forgot about the cookies in the kitchen. As she was going towards the kitchen she saw Justin holding Amanda in his arms as he pulled the fire alarm off the wall and took the batteries out. It seemed to perfect the way they were with each other, Amanda took to him in just the half hour he had been there, and it seemed as if he took to her the moment he laid eyes on her. Madison pulled her eyes away from them and opened up all the windows and her door.

 

Justin turned around Amanda still in his arms and gave Madison a weird look. He was smile as was Amanda, but he was still giving her a weird look.

 

“Mommy les go out to eats!” Amanda’s eyes got big with excitement thinking about McDonalds.

 

She almost started to protest going out but shrugged her shoulders and started towards the bathroom. “I guess I need to shower first.” She bit her bottom lip, “please don’t let him mess the house up Amanda.” She added as she disappeared into the bathroom

 

Madison took the fastest shower she could take; she didn’t want Amanda to be any trouble to Justin. She also didn’t want him going through anything, but little did she know Amanda lead him up to her published long short story from school. Her teacher liked it so much he got it published at the school; of course she went by her mothers’ name. But now he was reading the story, of the two of them, or Amanda. Madison changed certain things, like Amanda’s name his job, her job. Just little things to give away that it was Justin Timberlake, she never mentioned last names in the book. It wasn’t just her story in the book, it was the best stories that were turned in, and in the book hers just happen to be the first one.

 

She did have a few die hard NSYNC fans at college ask he if it was him, because she did mention how she missed the Christmases in Memphis. She didn’t name the small town she was from, just the major town, yet they seemed to piece it together. She just laughed at them and said she doesn’t even know who NSYNC was.

 

She was only in the shower for half an hour when she got out, she found her daughter and Justin sitting in a chair crashed with the book closed sitting next to them. She was afraid to wake them up, afraid that he figured out she was the one that wrote it. Of course he was going to remember the events that happened; he was in over half of it. But now he was going to know how she was a virgin when she slept with him, and only lied to him because he had already had sex with Britney. How she thought about giving the baby up so many times in the first six months of pregnancy. He now knew that she regretted not telling him every once in a while, when ever her daughter would cry in the middle of the night asking for her daddy.

 

She was hopping he hadn’t pieced it together and knew she was the mother of his child who he was holding in his hands. She just wanted him to leave, and never come back so that things could get back to normal, or at least some what normal.

 

Madison sighed and pulled the bathrobe around her a little tighter as she walked over to the two of them. She pushed at his shoulder; he instantly opened his eyes and gave her a half ass smile before closing them again and reopening them.

 

“I… uh… I’ve changed my mind… I’ve… um… got a lot… um… of work. I got to … do that interview with uh Britney…. Um… so yeah, you can leave now.” She stated turning on her heal and walking to her bedroom to get dressed.

 

“I don’t wan to go; I’m having fun with Amanda. Let me take her off your hands for a few hours, I’ll take her out to McDonalds and to the mall.” Justin barged in on her getting dressed; he seemed unfazed as she pushed at him to leave with one hand holding her untied bathrobe. “Just say yes and I’ll leave and be back in three hours with Amanda. I’m good with kids, I have two younger brothers, one is about her age and the other is about three years older. Just say yes.” He smiled

 

She said no, she said no more than ten times, more than a hundred times, she would have said no again but Amanda started begging along with him.

 

“God, you two beg worse than dogs! Go… GO!” She snapped rolling her eyes as Amanda jumped up and down with glee.

 

 

Just A Memory

Chapter Five

 

 

Madison almost died when she opened her front door two days after Justin proceeded to take her daughter out on the town, there on the front cover of the gossip news paper was her daughter and him. Of course there was about twenty different pictures of them together that day; at McDonalds, the mall and with his mom. Madison could feel her anger rise seeing Lynn and Amanda together, he thought he could just take her daughter to see his mom. She grabbed the papers and slammed the door shut; she didn’t know what to do. Ignore it, but she knew some how the paparazzi would find out who the little girl was.

 

She had avoided him ten times the day before, he had called and left messages every time, wanting to know if she wanted to go out to dinner, if the three of them could hang out. She didn’t answer the phone, she knew he would call he was persistent at getting what he wanted.

 

“Mommy, I don’t want to go to Grandma’s.” Amanda whined causing Madison to roll her eyes as she tried to fix the little girls hair.

 

“Only two more weeks and I’m finished with school, after that you won’t be going to Grandma’s house. You’ll be going to work and being at the day care there.” Madison stated pulling Amanda’s curls into a ponytail.

 

“NO! I want Grandma Lynn to watch me!” Amanda whined moving causing her hair to fall everywhere.

 

Madison took a deep breath; she knew Justin hanging around was going to be a bad idea. Now Amanda was calling her Grandma and didn’t want to go anywhere but to Lynn’s.

 

“I’m sure Justin’s mom is busy today, and I don’t have her number. Why don’t you go there some other time?” Madison suggested

 

“NO! Call him; he’ll come pick me… please Mommy, please! She said I look just like Justin, Aint she funny, huh mommy… how I look like Justin.” Amanda laughed at the thought of looking like her favorite NSYNC member.

 

“She’s a clown.” Madison sighed picking up the phone and scrolling through the caller ID. She found his number and dialed it quickly, hoping he wouldn’t answer the phone.

 

“Hi Madison, I see you aren’t avoiding me any longer.” His voice was cocky with his answer. “How can I help you?” He asked

 

“I just want to let you know, that if you ever take my daughter again, you will not take her places unless you clear it through me. Have you seen the news paper?” Madison asked as she finished her daughters’ hair.

 

“Oh yeah, I saw them it ain’t that big of a deal….” His smirk was evident and so was the fact that he was eating chips

 

He popped another chip in to his mouth and ignored the looks of JC and Jayne who were over visiting. He told them he wanted to hook up with Madison, JC was all for it, Jayne was iffy about it but said if anything at least they would be a family. Which neither of the guys got, she wasn’t clear about it but she held off telling him Amanda was his child.

 

“It is a big deal to me, my daughter is crying wanting to be with your mother. What are you doing Justin? You think if my daughter falls in love with your family that I’ll do the same? Think again!” Madison snapped into the phone

 

Madison could hear him sigh, then the phone being messed with, she heard laughter in the background loud TV, Lynn asking him if he was alright then his breathing and the sound of a door shutting.

 

“If you are worried that more photos of her are going to get out they aren’t. I took care of it the moment my friend Trace called me up asking about it. I’m not trying to get to you through your daughter, I had to stop by my mothers and your daughter happens to be with me, my mom took to her loved her asked me to settle down for one.” He sighed into the phone picking at lint that wasn’t even on his shirt. “I want to get to know you more, and you keep avoiding me. Jayne has always talked nothing but good things about you the past three years, and I’ve always wanted…”

 

“Stop… I don’t care what Jayne has said about me. I don’t need some pop star in my life trying to make things better for me. If you think for one second that getting my daughter to fall in love with you will lure me in, it’s not going to happen. I’ve gone six years of my life with out her father I don’t need you now.” Madison cut him off, “You need to find someone who wants to be with a pop star. I don’t want the fame that comes with your name, and I will not bring my daughter to that. Stop trying to get me, I’m not a prize I’m not a trophy.” She added giving Amanda a look causing her to stop crying for her grandma Lynn.

 

Justin sighed again into the phone, moved off the bed and left the room he was in. “I’m coming over.” And with that he hung up on her

 

Madison knew it was a 15 minute drive from his place to her place. When he got the house a few years back she would have to drive by it every once in a while when something happened on the high way causing her to take the back roads. She finished Amanda’s hair and pulled her jacket on her.

 

“Please mommy, please let me go to Grandma Lynn’s please.” Amanda cried as Madison pulled her own coat on and started out the front door. “He’s my daddy huh?” She asked causing Madison to stop dead in her tracks.

 

Madison turned and looked at Amanda, tears still running down her small face, her hair was slightly messy from her putting up a fuss. She started to kneel down so she could be eye level when Amanda’s face turned into a smile and she ran past her. Madison turned around and saw Amanda jump into Justin’s arms. She sighed and started to walk towards them.

 

Justin was rambling on about something, but all Madison was able to do was stare as her mother’s car pulling up behind Justin’s. She knew that with her mother there her whole world was going to spin out of control. She saw the expression on Justin’s face with Grace walked up to them, she watched him put Amanda down and take her mother into a tight hug. She closed her eyes tightly feeling woozy, and reopened them to be lying on her couch.

 

“How could you not know she was your Riley?” Grace asked Justin the two of them were standing towards the kitchen.

 

“She doesn’t look the same. Last time I saw her she had short red hair and wore black makeup.” Justin shrugged his shoulders slightly he looked over at Amanda who was coloring at the kitchen table. “She looks just like Madison.” He added causing Grace to turn slightly and look towards the little girl. “Who is her father? Madison was going off about how she hadn’t had her father around for the past six years, she don’t need one now.” He asked looking back at Grace.

 

“Honestly she won’t tell me, she just says that it was a mistake to sleep with him. That she thought she loved him, when she found out she was pregnant he was gone.” Grace sighed turning her head to look back at Justin.

 

He stood there with a lost expression on his face; he blinked a few times and took a few steps back. He ran his hand over his head and looked over Graces shoulder to where Madison had sat up on the couch looking slightly confused.

 

“I’ve gotta go.” He rushed as he tried to get out the front door.

“Randall wait!” Madison called after him grabbing his arm before he could get out of the house. Justin gave her a hurt look, and she knew he knew what she didn’t want him to know.

 

“I… I knew it was you the moment I saw you with Jayne, but I didn’t want to believe it. She went off about how you had this angel for a daughter, I didn’t want it to be you but it was.” He gave a slight glare shrugging off her arm and walking towards the door.

 

“Please don’t go.” Madison sighed grabbing his arm again.

 

Justin took a deep breath and turned, he looked Madison hard in the eyes. “Amanda’s coming with me.” He half yelled walking back towards the front door

 

“What? No… she is not!” Madison yelled out after him

 

“She is mine as much as she is yours!” Justin glared turning and running into Grace, who was shocked at the news she just heard. “Yes, MINE.” He snapped pushing passed Grace and walking into the kitchen to talk to Amanda.

 

Grace looked at a shaken up Madison.

 

“Jus…”

 

Madison broke down and started to cry causing her mother to take her into a tight hug.

 

“He just entered my life again; Jayne is dating one of his band members and tried hooking us up. She…. Mama, he wasn’t supposed to come back into my life. I tried keeping him out.” She sobbed as Grace walked her towards her bed room.

 

Grace calmed Madison down as much as she could and went into the kitchen were Justin asking Amanda how she would like to stay the week with him.

 

“Randy can I talk to you?” Grace asked, he gave her a nod and told Amanda he’d be right back, they sat in the front room. “I’m so sorry she never told you.” Was the first thing she said giving him a hug.

 

“I was blind, my heart and gut told me Amanda was mine the moment she opened the door the other day, but my mind played it off as it being Madison’s curls not mine. Then my mom, she commented on how Amanda looked just like me, but I ignored the gut feeling. I’m dumb Grace, It all makes sense, Madison was being a rude bitch the moment she met me.” Justin rambled on rubbing the back of his neck.

 

Justin looked into the kitchen at Amanda who was talking with Madison now. He stood up and walked to the front door. “I’ve… I’m… I’ll… I have to think about some things.” He gave a defeated look and walked out the door.

Chapter Six

Just A Memory

 

Madison sat uncomfortable on Justin’s couch, it had been three weeks four days and six hours since Justin found out he had a daughter. In those three weeks, he became a permanent thing in Madison and Amanda’s lives. So right now Amanda was playing with Stephen and Jonathan, while Madison had to be stuck with every adult she grew up with staring at her like she had two heads. Yes, she was very uncomfortable to say the very least. Apparently when Justin had something big to tell his family, he flew them all out to where ever he was and told them face to face. Madison didn’t understand why this was something big, sure he has a six year old daughter, but why did they have to be there? That was what he asked for two days straight, and thought about skipping the country with Amanda and never coming back.

 

The last three weeks were hard on Madison, Justin wasn’t being overly civil to her, but he wasn’t being a complete ass like he should have been. She was finishing up college, and becoming a permanent at work. Amanda wouldn’t sleep until she got to see or hear her father; she wanted to spend every moment she could with the man. Madison didn’t like it at all; she didn’t want this to happen. She knew if Justin had known from the beginning things would be like this, but she didn’t tell him so she wasn’t ready for him to be part of her life. Even if being apart of his life meant dirty looks, and rude comments.

 

She was zoned out, thinking about work and how much she wanted to stick pencils in her eyes at that moment. She hadn’t been paying attention to them talk, she wasn’t in the mood to listen to lectures about how wrong she had been to keep such a huge thing from Justin. They wanted them to get married, she laughed in their face. Don’t get her wrong, she thought about that the whole time she was pregnant, that she and Justin would one day get married, but now she found it amusing. Why would he want to marry her after everything she did?

 

“Madison?” Grace asked looking over at her daughter, “Madison pay attention.” She added causing her to roll her eyes.

 

“Listen, it was nice to see ya’ll again but I’ve got to get going. I have this job to do.” Madison stood up and walked to the coat closet grabbing her coat and yanking it on, “Justin I’ll be by tomorrow to pick Amanda up.” And with that she was out the door, of course Justin was right behind her.

 

“I call your bull shit.” He hollered grabbing her arm and turning her around. “Your mom said you don’t have anything going on this weekend.” His voice was low, his eyes roamed her face.

 

“Randy leave me alone, you’re getting what you want just leave me alone.” Madison’s voice was just above a whisper as she tried to pull away from him. This was the most attention he paid her in the almost four weeks he learned about Amanda.

 

“Don’t be rude to my fucking family Riley; I swear if you leave…” His words trailed off his lips as Madison pulled out of his death grip on her arm.

 

“Fuck you and fuck your family, you are lucky I even showed up with my daughter…”

 

“Our daughter, and if you hadn’t showed up I would have got the courts involved.” He snapped grabbing her retreating form again pulling her to him.

 

“She isn’t your fucking daughter Randy, I’ve been through everything you’ve been tramping the globe doing god knows what with god knows who. Don’t think for a moment you can get custody of her, I’d win and you know it.” Madison glared up at Justin trying to get away from him, he held her up against his chest. “Please, I can’t do this I’m leaving and I’ll be back tomorrow after noon to pick my daughter up.” She breathed as he slowly let her go.

 

“Fuck you.” Was the only thing he said before he stormed back into the house leaving Madison holding tears in as she got in her car and took off, not to sure where she was going. He was right, she didn’t have to work but she couldn’t be in that house any longer she couldn’t take the rude comments from him, and the stares from the rest of his family.

 

Madison found her self at a club in down town LA, she wasn’t to sure which club or how she got there but she knew she was in down town LA and was drunk. She downed a shot of tequila and looked around the club; this was how she was spending her 23rd birthday. Alone at some random club in LA, but alone, no one all day wished her a happy birthday until she showed the bouncer her ID. A total stranger said happy birthday to her, but her mother couldn’t even do it. So here she was getting free drinks all night long because it was her birthday.

 

Jayne closed her eyes when she noticed her best friend being drooled all over by two ugly men. She knew Madison and Justin had got in to a fight earlier that day, and he had been looking for her the past few hours, because she wasn’t answering her phones. Jayne pointed over towards Madison as she stood up leaving JC with a few of their friends.

 

“Jayneeeeee” Madison giggled throwing her arms around Jayne’s neck

 

“Madison, how much have you had to drink?” Jayne asked concerned at the state she found her friend in.

 

Madison giggled loudly and shrugged her shoulders. She hugged Jayne again and started to pull the two of them towards the dance floor. “Let’s dance!” She yelled out removing her arms from around Jayne’s neck.

 

Jayne threw a worried look towards JC as Madison went running towards the bathrooms. JC followed them, stopping next to Jayne before she went inside.

 

“Should I let him know we found her?” JC asked looking over his shoulder towards Justin who had just entered the club. Jayne just sighed and pushed her way into the bathroom to the sound of Madison throwing up in the toilet.

 

JC ran a hand through his hair as he pushed his way past people and made his way over to Justin. Justin gave him a hard look and raised his eyebrows.

 

“I take it she isn’t here either?” Justin asked looking over JC’s shoulder and around the crowded club.

 

“No… no she is here.” JC stated, “She’s puking in the bathroom right now.” He added as he turned around and started towards the bathrooms, Justin behind him.

 

“I don’t know what gives her the right to just leave and go get fucked up like this. She had a daughter to take care of and…”

 

JC stopped in front of the bathroom and gave Justin a dirty look. “You know why she is here. Don’t start crap with her again, you’ve been nothing back a prick to her for three weeks.” JC raised a hand and grabbed Justin who was trying to walk into the women bathroom.

 

“Don’t start with me again JC. You’d be acting the same if Jayne had your child and ran off with out telling you.” Justin snapped once again trying for the bathroom, and once again JC getting in his way.

 

“You didn’t give her much of a choice Justin! If I remember correctly, you didn’t call her ever. You left her, and didn’t even try to call her until your mom mentioned that she was no longer living in Memphis. So don’t start that shit, you left her no choice.” JC glared pushing Justin away from the door, “You knew you did so don’t act like this was all a big surprise.” With that JC walked into the women bathroom.

 

Justin ran a tired hand over his face and pushed open the door slightly. He stepped inside and let the door shut softly. He closed his eyes hearing Madison crying into Jayne’s arms.

 

“I don’t want him around us. I don’t care how happy Amanda is I still wish he never found out. Jayne what is wrong with me, I’m so unhappy with life that I’d rather have no father for my daughter.” Madison cried as Jayne smoothed down her hair.

 

“Madison, let’s get off the floor and home.” JC crouched down looking at her. “Just give him some time, he is being a prick yes but that’s always been Justin.” JC stated causing Madison to laugh.

 

Justin sighed and left the bathroom the way he came; with out them knowing he was in there. He ran a hand over his head and made his way out of the club. He knew he had a lot to think about and a lot to do.

Chapter Seven

Just A Memory

 

 

Madison pulled the blankets over her head when someone pulled open her curtains causing the bright sun to burn her eyes. She flopped onto her stomach and groaned as the pain from drinking her self to a stupor thumped against her skull. A throat cleared causing her to burry her head further into her pillow and another groan to escape her throat. The side of her bed got weighed down when the intruder sat down clearing their throat again, in an attempt to get Madison out of her blankets.

 

            “Ma go away.” Madison mumbled through her pillow and blankets.

 

            “I bought you some coffee” The voice rang out causing Madison’s heart to skip a beat.

 

She turned onto her back and slowly pulled the covers down her face, stopping after her eyes. She looked him over; he was staring out her window holding a cup of coffee.

 

            “How did you get in?” She asked anger setting in.

 

Justin turned his head and looked at her, all he could see was her unruly curls and her blood shot eyes. “I… uh… I dropped Manda off at your moms and she gave me her key.” He stumbled over the words.

 

            “You need to leave.” Madison snapped pushing her blankets down to her waist as she sat up, “You need to leave right fucking now.” She added with more anger in her voice.

 

            “No, we need to talk.” He sat still not moving an inch as she climbed out of her bed and grabbed a robe to put on; she was only wearing a tank top and boxers.

 

            “No you need to fucking leave!” She yelled at him causing him to jump slightly, he turned to face her then stood up and walked over to her.

 

            “I fucking need to talk to you, so take this damn coffee, drink it, and then get in the shower. You’re a fucking mess.” He snapped shoving the coffee in her hand and walking out of the bedroom.

 

Madison watched as he walked down the hall into her front room, she sat down on the end of her bed and took the sip of the coffee; it was cold, like he had been afraid to wake her up.  She sat it on her dresser and went to get in the shower, he was right she looked a mess. Twenty minutes later she was wearing a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt, her hair was up in a wet pony tail.

 

            “What do you need to talk to me about?” Madison asked as she came into the front room, she sat down across the room on the loveseat looking at Justin.

 

            “Why?” was all he asked looking at her from across the room.

 

            “Why what?” Madison played dumb; she knew he wanted to know why she never told him.

 

Justin took a deep breath and looked down, “Don’t play fucking dumb! Riley why didn’t you tell me!” He snapped raising his head and looking at her.

 

She closed her eyes to fight against the dull pain in her head, “I didn’t want to ruin your career, or your relationship with Britney.” She answered biting her lower lip and picking at the hem of her shirt.

 

            “Fuck that! That is bullshit, that wouldn’t ruin anything! You were too chicken shit to tell me!” He yelled out causing her to jump at the sound of his voice. “I could have dealt with it; I WOULD have dealt with it. But you were too fucking selfish to let me know I had a kid. I’ve missed 6 years of my daughters’ life because you were too fucking…” His words trailed off as Madison broke down into tears at his words.

 

            “You were never supposed find out. Never supposed to see me again.” She sobbed looking at the couch she was on. “You wouldn’t be upset like this if you never knew!” She added causing Justin to stand up and walk over to her.

 

            “I knew…” He started as he sat next to her on the loveseat, Madison’s head shot up looking at him

 

            “Wha…how... What?” She could barely get out.

 

Justin cleared his throat and looked at her, “About 5 years ago I went and visited your dad. I knew you had moved out to your moms so I went to ask him for her phone number so I could get a hold of you. He had baby pictures hanging on the fridge; I asked him who it was. He told me it was his granddaughter Amanda. I knew five years ago you had a daughter…I was in denial that she was mine.” Justin took a deep breath and pulled out his wallet.

 

Pulling out a picture of Amanda when she was a year old, “I knew she was mine, I just knew she was, she looked just like me as a kid. I was shocked when I saw the pictures, I didn’t want to believe that my best friend would get pregnant with my child and never tell me.” He added causing Madison to cry even harder.  “I’ve been in denial ever since, I told my self Riley, MY RILEY would have told me if it were my child that it must have been some other guys kid. I was in denial when I showed JC the picture and he said she looked like me.” He sighed, running hand over his head.

 

            “I… I’m sorry.” Madison hiccupped out reaching for the picture in his hand.

 

            “I’ve been in denial everyday. When JC started to date Jayne and she started talking about her best friend Madison and her daughter Amanda I couldn’t believe she was talking about you. JC got your number from Jayne and told me to call you three years ago. But I… I COULDN’T I didn’t want to believe you’d do that to me.” He pushed a few tears away and looked at Madison.

 

            “I… don’t know what you want from me Randy.” She said handing him back the picture of her daughter.

 

            “I released a statement confirming that I have a daughter, and with that I told the world I was taking a few years off to be with you both.” He stated causing Madison to look up at him with shock.

 

            “What did you just say?” Madison asked trying to remain calm.

 

            “I release…”

 

            “Who told you to do that!” She yelled out standing up.

 

            “I told me I could do it. I’m going to be spending a lot of fucking time with you both. I want to be a permanent part of Amanda’s life and I can’t be when I’m touring the world!” Justin stated as he looked at an angry Madison.

 

            “You didn’t ask me! You didn’t ask if I wanted my daughter in some sort of press release!” She yelled at Justin as he grabbed her arm.

 

            “I shouldn’t have to ask! It’s better this way! If I hadn’t released a statement they would have been all over you and Amanda!” He tried as calmly as possible 

 

Madison yanked her arm out of Justin’s grip and paced her front room, she chewed on her pointer finger trying to figure everything out. She looked at Justin and halted her pacing.

 

            “I… I can’t do this Randall.” She stated before sitting on the seat behind her.

 

Justin looked at her, “Can’t do what Riley?” He asked, not 100% sure what she was talking about.

 

            “I can’t have you in my life. I... it’s too hard, I worked so hard to cut you out of my life.” She said barely a whisper, dipping her head into her hands.

 

            “I’ll work just as hard to start a new life with you. We have to work on this… at least for Amanda’s sake.” Justin replied as he got up and sat next to Madison, he put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to his side. “I’m not going to push you to be my best friend again Riley. But I won’t miss any more of Amanda’s life.” He added.