Prologue: 

*Leila Intro*

Taking one look at me, with my perfectly blonde highlighted hair, bright blue-green eyes, pink baby tee and jeans; you’d never guess that my father started a revolution in rock music. A new genre of rock blasted onto the scene in the early 1980s … and blah blah blah. I’ve heard that story a million times and I’m sure you have too; I’m not going to sit here and rehash the history of Noah Jacobs and his band The Exiled.

Growing up, life was very different, I mean I was home schooled on tour buses for the early years of my life. I don’t think I could even begin to explain how lonely it was; only having my two much older brothers as companions and the two other children that belonged to the other band members.

But I’m not complaining right now, I had advantages that other children that age could never even dream of. I had supportive parents and siblings and at the end of the day, that’s the only thing you can count on, the love of your family. A lot of people don’t have that, so I guess I am lucky in that sense.

My life was very different from the get go. I came into contact with many different types of people, probably meeting people that a young person shouldn’t even come within 10 feet of. I guess I had to be thankful though, it taught me how to read people, how to find out who really was being true and who was being fake. There was one person though, that to this day I still can’t figure out. Who would have thought that a pop star like Justin Timberlake would turn my world into a tizzy? I was never the type of girl to fall into a love struck state. What made him so different?

I sit now, staring at the television before me, the news headline has me sitting stunned, with tears ready to fall down my face. But before I get into that, let me back track just a little bit. Let me tell you why exactly I’m sitting here holding back a strangled cry.

Justin Timberlake. The LAST person I would have ever thought to change me actually did. I’m sure love isn’t supposed to hurt this much, I’m sure it’s supposed to be beautiful. Maybe one day I’ll have that, but till then… I’m a woman scorned.

Almost two years ago feels like forever, and after tonight, I don’t think I’ll ever be the girl I used to be again. Maybe I’m being too emotional, but I’ll let you be the judge. You can see my pain first hand and understand why I’ll be scarred for life. For once in my life, this is going to be about me.

*Justin Intro*

Allow me to introduce myself, I’m Justin Timberlake other wise known as asshole. At least that’s what most people will call me after tonight, not that I don’t blame them. The name fits who I am perfectly.

Honestly, I wasn’t always like this. I was compassionate once upon a time. I actually gave a shit about the people in my life. I’m not going to sit here and put the blame on the people (mainly the females) that hurt me, I changed because I wanted to. I changed because I lost sight of who I was.

Show business tends to do that to people; it’s like signing your soul away to the devil. Suddenly someone who was a good person is corrupted for a chance at fame and riches. Greed rules us and eventually we lose perception of the dreams that made us sign away our soul. Our art becomes secondary.

I pace my empty hotel room, unable to concentrate on anything. I have a random girl passed out on my bed and if I wanted, I could wake her up and violate her in hundreds of different ways. I probably would have if it wasn’t for the information I just learned that makes me sick to my stomach. It’s the first time in years that I actually care about how another human being might feel.

I destroyed Leila Jacobs. I knew perfectly well that she wasn’t the type of girl to fuck around with and I did just that. I’ve been getting calls left and right, people screaming at me and telling me how fucked up I am for doing what I did. Shit, I didn’t even mean to do what I did.

“Juuustin.” The girl who was asleep on my bed, sits up and stares at me with a sly smile. How pathetic some girls are makes me just want to laugh. “Come back to bed.”

This stupid fan is talking like she’s my girlfriend, like she fucking knows me. Stupid bitch. Reading my biography and letting me fuck her did not mean that she could walk around all high and fucking mighty. Tiffany, Tiana, Teresa, I don’t really give a shit what her actual name is, but come tomorrow morning she’s going to get the shock of her life when I throw her out. Until then, she’s easy pussy for me.

And that’s just the way I like my women. No commitments. That’s what got me into more trouble then I wanted. That was the first step in destroying Leila.

I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for that

Chapter 1: Control

“You're either the person you are
Or The Person You’re Trying To Be
Don't let the outside sway too far
From where you want to be
And at any cruel moment of this
You can ruin the Best”- “Creature” by Atreyu

Lazily I lounged across the loveseat in my Father’s studio room, bored to tears after listening to the same song being played for the umpteenth time. There had to be some way I could escape this torture. I opened my cell phone and stared at the few numbers I could call. My brother Aiden was on tour with his band and Kyle was probably with one of his random admirers. His groupie of the day, how lovely.

Maybe my best friend was free, that girl should have been here enduring hell with me anyway. Her Dad was the lead guitarist in The Exiled so it was a little odd that she wasn’t here. It was odd that I was here without her anyway. Blame it on boredom.

I snuck out into the hallway and quickly dialed her phone number. I don’t even know the meaning of speed dial or a phone book, it’s funny. I just jot down the numbers when all I have to do is press 2 and hit send. I guess I’m just not very electronically savvy.

For a quick example, the day my computer broke, circa Windows 95 era, I cried so hard. It’s not like I didn’t have another one I could easily get, but it was a BIG change switching from Windows 95 to Windows XP. Too many buttons and functions for my taste. What happened to the days of simplicity?!

Back to my phone though, which had unfortunately been sent to voicemail. “Mia, where in the hell are you? Get your ass to Battery Studio or I’m going to have to go out, find you and cause a scene, ultimately embarrassing you. Yeah, YOU SUCK. Call me and get here!”

I hung up the phone, slightly irritated and desperately not wanting to go back into the recording room just yet. There had to be some way I could kill time until I was forced to suffer the perils of watching middle aged men get worked up over making every song perfect. I’m sure some people would kill to be watching that, but me, yeah no. Been there, done that. Too bad my Dad thinks it’ll show me what the music business is really all about.

So as every celebuspawn, I want to get in the business like my father and brothers alike. Unfortunately, I cannot decide what kind of music I want to make or pretty much anything. My Father is convinced that I’ll be the next Debbie Harry. He’s slightly obsessed with Debbie and that idea for me.

What I want, I’m not even sure what it is. All I know is that I want to be in charge of what I want to sing about. I probably sound like a whiney bitch, but I assure you I’m not. I just want to be in control of my own life. I guess I could only hope for the umbilical cord to be cut soon.

My stomach growling quite loudly forced the depressing thoughts from my mind. Food would definitely kill some time for me, a good 10 minutes maybe. If I was lucky, Mia would show up in that time. Hoping for the best, expecting the worst is a great motto to live by. I walked up the vending machine and rubbed my chin as I tried to decide what to buy.

“If you’re going for the Ritz crackers, I’m going to have to warn you, they are way past their expiration date.” A voice I didn’t recognize spoke to me. Oh God. It was some crazed fan that was going to beg me to introduce them to my Father. Whatever, this person was slightly funny.

“Thanks but I was planning on getting the Nature Valley granola bar.” I didn’t turn around; I just began to type the number in when the voice spoke again.

“I wouldn’t go for that either. It’s oats and honey, not peanut butter. It’s really gross.”

Who the hell was this guy and why did he know so much about vending machines? This was definitely going to be some weirdo, 40 year old man who was going to hit on me to get closer to my father.

“So what do you suggest I get then?” I twirled around with my arms crossed firmly. My mouth almost fell to the floor when I realized who exactly had been talking to me.

Bearing jeans and a black slightly fitted t-shirt, there he stood, 6 foot 1, brown hair and dark blue eyes. Those eyes, they were more than just a color, they were two pools of perfection; a warm mix of shades which I could get lost in trying to figure out. My cheeks grew hot at the realization that I had been staring at him so intently for far too long. It was Justin Timberlake, how could I not be dazed by his mere presence.

“I’d go with the mini oreos or the sour cream and onion chips. Well, actually I’d lean more towards the mini oreos.” He smiled and licked his full bottom lip. God, he was so good looking, every feature complimented the other so flawlessly. If I could melt to the floor like ice on a hot day, I’d already be done for.

“Isn’t there anything um… that won’t make me blow up like a balloon?” I returned the smile with a half smile of my own.

“You women are all so difficult.” Justin rolled his eyes and laughed softly. Even his laugh was adorable. What the hell, being that cute should not be allowed! “How about you get the pretzel sticks. I was going to get them being that they’re the last ones, but I’ll be a gentlemen today.”

“Okay thank you.” I typed in the new numbers and screamed inside my head like a teeny bopper. I thought this man was the absolute hottest thing around. I had even argued about it with my friend Mia who thought he looked like a homeless man. I definitely see nothing like that in him. “Thanks for that Mr. Vending Machine Expert. I’m Leila, by the way.” I held my hand out to him which he readily accepted.

“I know who you are.” He winked at me. “You’re Dad is probably the best...”

“The best thing that happened to American rock since Elvis. Believe me, I know.” I laughed, finishing his sentence. “He’s not shy with letting everyone know that.”

“So much for modesty,” Justin sent another mega watt smile my way. Dear Lord, how was I able to get along with him so easily? How was the conversation about nothing flowing so easily? Why did it feel like I knew him for years? “I’m Justin, even though I’m sure you know that already.”

This all was just creeping me out a little. It took me a few days before I could talk to my ex boyfriend, Travis freely. I liked this feeling though. Too bad my mind instantly flew to the negative and I believed that this moment would end as quickly as it began.

“I think I’d have to of been living under a rock for the past 5 years to not know who you are.” I giggled, feeling like a stupid little girl. He definitely must of thought I was some crazed fan, fucking perfect. Wait. Why did I even care what he thought of me?

“Okay, so how about you crack open those pretzels and share. I deserve a few being that I saved you from buying a disgusting snack food.”

Another giggle came from me and I wanted to slap myself. Hard. Could I have looked like a bigger idiot? Probably, there was plenty of time left to make the inner blonde come out.

“Um sure.” I made my way to the brown leather couch and let myself fall into the cushions. Justin didn’t waste much time in quickly following my lead. He sat down right next to me and waited patiently while I opened the small box of pretzel sticks.

Was that the only reason he was sitting next to me? Did he only want my pretzel sticks or did he want to know me? God, how fucking weird is that, a guy using a girl for pretzel sticks. I’m sure stranger things have happened but still. He could have lived without those salty treats and not lead a girl on.

“Now that’s a good pretzel.” He munched on the snack and looked at me, offering me a crooked smile. “So what are you doing in the studio today?”

“My Dad’s recording and he pretty much dragged me here so I could see what the process is like. Mind you, I’ve been in studios practically since birth.” I shrugged my shoulders and looked down at my favorite pair of Christian Dior sandals. Silently, I thanked God for allowing me to look halfway decent today. To think, I almost came to the studio in my pajama pants. Yeah, that would have been very impressive. “I mean I realize I don’t know everything about the process, but it’s much different when you’re working instead of being a bystander and watching.”

“This is true…so why haven’t you started working on your own music?”

“My Dad wants me to finish college first… if it were up to me I’d start right now.” I quickly realized that I was probably being way too negative. Not the best way to look in front of a guy I thought was hot as hell. I quickly covered up my tracks. “Besides that, I’m not even set on what kind of music I want to create.”

Justin Timberlake studied me for a moment. His fingertips were gently straddling his chin and he seemed lost in thought. I hadn’t meant for my words to upset him, I guess venting and opening up just came naturally with him. It was scary how easy it was to talk to him.

“You know… I could help you out if you wanted. Even if we don’t record, just to brainstorm. I mean, I know your Dad wants you to wait, but I think if you’re ready you should go for it… or at least start getting ideas. It’s always a good idea to practice your craft, even if you’re not going to go out and market it.”

Could he be any smarter? Seriously, this guy was just a breath of fresh air to be around. He didn’t even know anything about my situation but his simple words just made me feel relieved. It was possible that with his help, I could find a way to release what I wanted to. I know that it would be sneaking behind my father’s back, but sometimes our dreams are worth more than what we should or shouldn’t do. I was tired of being the good girl who does everything that is asked of her. Was it that much to ask for to just be allowed to live my life for me?

“I’d really like that.”

Justin smiled at me; his eyes were exploring my every feature. It was like I was under a microscope and every part of me was being examined for the slightest of flaws. Slightly illusioned by him with an inability to stop wondering what he was thinking when he was looking at me so intently.

“Leila, where have you been?” My Father’s voice which was usually sweet was nothing but an annoyance. I was having a nice moment with Justin fucking Timberlake, did he really need to come over and ruin it all? AH! A frustrated scream would definitely depict my emotions at that particular moment. “You’re supposed to be watching and learning.”

“I’m sorry… I just went to grab something to eat.” I motioned to the small, opened box of pretzels. It was unfair that my Father was making me feel like I had done something wrong. I couldn’t stand that even years after my childhood, this man can still manage to make me feel like I’m 7 and about to be grounded. If only his loyal fans knew this side of him, his rocker image would be destroyed.

I noticed that my Father was not staring at me disapprovingly, but at Justin. It wouldn’t be much of a surprised that dear Noah Jacobs did not consent to anyone dating his youngest daughter, let alone talk to her. Slightly silly, I know, but he tried to protect me, I guess it would be cute if he wasn’t so overbearing.

A person’s life is theirs to live and under the law, 18 years old is considered an adult. So why couldn’t someone who was 20 years old be allowed to make her own mistakes? It’s possible that we all have a plan mapped out for us, but shouldn’t we be allowed to decide what that plan should entail? It’s not like I’m asking for a miracle to be performed (like the impeachment of our president… oh, if only), I just want some control of my own destiny. Our lives are short as is, shouldn’t we be allowed to enjoy the little time we have?

“Yeah, I have to get back to work anyway. My friend Demario is probably wondering where I am.” The awkwardness of the situation probably got to him too. I totally hated my father for this.

“It was nice meeting you Justin… I hope to see you soon.” I don’t think it was possible for me to have sounded more like an obsessed 14 year old girl. It could have been the squeak in my voice or the huge smile I sent his way.

My Father was definitely not pleased. I knew that if I didn’t get up soon, hell would break loose. I quickly got up and acted like the obedient daughter I was trained to be. Avoiding more embarrassment was crucial; Justin didn’t need to see my father dragging me out of the room. I couldn’t have looked like more of a child.

“Same here. Nice to meet you too, Mr. Jacobs.” Justin followed my cue and headed down the hallway, far away from me. I wanted to reach out and call after him. Give him my number, find out a way to contact him and work.

I omitted a sigh and was dragged back into the reality that was my life. Sacrificing my dreams for everyone else’s was just getting too hard to do. I wasn’t even sure if Justin was being serious when he said that he’d help me brainstorm. He could have said it to be nice. I just wasn’t sure of anything anymore.

I hated so much that thinking negatively was easier than looking towards the positive.

*Justin*

The first thing I ever noticed about Leila Jacobs was her ass. Her jeans clung so tightly to her ass; it was almost like a second skin. From that moment on, I knew I wanted this girl. She was innocent and cute, different from most of the spoiled celebrity kids. This female was no Paris Hilton or Nicole Richie. She was strangely down to earth, something I most definitely was not.

“Bro, where is your head tonight?” Demario yelled at me from the recording booth. I shook my head, instantly snapping out of the daze that had consumed my attention.

“Sorry… I just have shit on my mind.”

“Is it that fucking rocker dude’s daughter? Just go the fuck to his room and get her number. Don’t be such a pussy about it.”

“I’m not being a pussy about it. She’s just not the kind of girl you just fuck and leave, and you know I’m not about to settle down with anyone.”

It was funny how I respected her without even knowing a thing about her. Leila was just cute and sweet, not the type of girl to jump on my dick without a second thought. Thinking about it, not many girls would keep their legs closed if a hot, rich celebrity came onto them.

Yes, I’m an arrogant son of a bitch, but at least I’m honest about it.

“So you offered the chick to help her with music and you plan on getting nothing out of it?” Demario came out of the recording booth with an annoyed look on his face. I rolled my eyes as he continued his rant. “Dude, the least she can do is fuck for tracks. Bitch owes you that much.”

I started to laugh at his crazy logic. “Dude, she ain’t even recording, we’re just going over shit. But still, my name on Noah Jacobs’ daughter’s album would be fucking hot. Think of the credit I’d get for that. You can’t buy that shit.”

“And what if “Miss Too Good To Fuck” has absolutely no talent? What do you plan on doing then?”

“Fucking her?” I said with a shrug and a sly smile. I was talking out of my ass of course, but it wouldn’t hurt to embellish to my friend a little happier. He would have had a point too, if it wasn’t that Leila was still different from other females.

Still, I wasn’t about to wife that. My guaranteed soul mate couldn’t have got me to settle down at that point in my life. Living the dream with women throwing themselves at my feet was way too much fun.

“Good boy. Now I approve of you going to talk to her.” Demario sent a cheesy grin at me and slapped my back hard. He approved of my behavior, too bad I didn’t.

I wished I could say that he was an asshole, but I was just as bad.

Chapter 2: Uncertain

“Well she wants to be the queen and
then she thinks about her scene
Well she wants to live her life
then she thinks about her life
Pulls her hair back as she screams
I don't really wanna be the queen
I, I don't really wanna be the queen
I, I don't really wanna be the queen
I, I don't really wanna live this"- “Meet Virginia” by Train

**Justin**

I just couldn’t get my mind off this girl; I wanted her in the worst fucking way. I’m supposed to be helping my friend but I’m too busy imagining what I’d like to do to Leila. My dick was hard as a fucking rock as I sat by the sound board; I couldn’t even concentrate on my work.

All I kept thinking about was how good it would feel to have my cock plunging in and out of her tight, wet pussy. Her legs on either side of my chair and she’d move so skillfully. She looked innocent but she’d be quite the opposite. I licked my lips and leaned my head back against the chair; my fantasy was only building up the number of knots in my stomach.

Fuck. I was driving myself crazy and fantasizing about a girl I’d never be able to get with. Not to mention her father looked at me like he wanted to tear my dick off. Most of the world knows about Justin “Trousersnake”, it’s not shocking that Noah Jacobs wouldn’t want me within two feet of his daughter.

“What’s up asshole?” JC walked into the room and sent a hard slap to my back. I turned and glared at him, trying my best to cover up my raging hard on. One of my best friends definitely didn’t need to see that. I was pathetic.

“You’re loser friend is too much of a pussy shit to go talk to a chick. That’s what’s up.” Demario walked out of the recording booth and threw his headphones to the ground. “Seriously, he’s losing his skills with the females. We need to get him laid… STAT!”

I rolled my eyes at the two of them. They talked like they knew so much, but they didn’t know how fucking innocent Leila was. She’s a good girl. She isn’t the type you just fuck and dump. Ha, I talk like I know this broad; in the end I’m just assuming shit that probably isn’t true.

“What chick is this? Last I heard you were fucking Lindsay Lohan… I can’t keep up with your women.” JC joked. I shivered in disgust at his words.

“Lindsay was a one night fucking thing… please don’t ever bring that psycho bitch up again. She’s still trying to get back on my dick.”

“Well if you ever need quick pussy you know where to get it from.” Demario laughed loudly, I just rolled my eyes again and stood up from the chair. Talk of Lindsay made my hard on disappear thankfully.

“If she was a good fuck maybe, but she’s not.” I flicked my wrist, dismissing the subject. “Can we not talk about Leila and Lindsay anymore? Let’s just get to work.”

“Leila?”

“Yeah, you know Noah Jacobs’ daughter… the blonde with the big tits.” Demario answered JC with a scandalous grin. Fucking asshole. If he wasn’t my boy I’d punch him for that comment.

I’m being protective of Leila and I don’t even know her from boo. How the fuck could a girl have my brain so fucked up and I don’t know anything about her? I want to punch something. I want to just erase her from my brain because feeling something for someone just doesn’t fit into my plans.

If only “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” was real.

“Justin, man you know you’re like my brother… but you have no shot with Leila Jacobs. If her crazy metal head brother doesn’t kill you for coming near her, Noah himself will fuck your face up.” JC spoke with concern. Part of me knew he was right but I was so drawn in.

If she couldn’t be mine, I wanted her in my life somehow. I’m a selfish fucking prick.

“It’s not going to be like that. I’m just going to help her work on some album ideas. It’s not a big deal.” I walked to the mini fridge in the room and pulled out a nice, cold heineken. This conversation had me wanting to get drunk as fuck. I guess I’m just the type of guy that avoids my problems by drinking until they dissipate.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” JC replied sarcastically. If anyone knew I was talking shit, it was him. Knowing someone for over 10 years could do that to you I guess. “Just don’t hurt the girl… you know there will be big consequences if you do.”

“Whatever C, you’re such a fucking annoyance.” I took a big chug of my beer, the yellow liquid moved down my throat so smoothly. It was like a surge of confidence.

I knew what I had to do now and no one would be able to talk me out of it. I was going to help this girl with her album and maybe later on after I’d gotten my fears out of my system, maybe we’d get together. Until then, I wanted her in my life somehow. Like I said before, I’m a selfish son of a bitch.

**Leila**

“Now you show up!” I attacked Mia with a hug as she walked through the studio room doors. It was 2 hours since the Justin incident occurred and I had been dying to confide in someone and maybe brag a little. It’s not often that you have a conversation with one of the biggest musicians to date.

“Someone’s excited to see me. Sorry hun, I don’t go that way.” She joked, causing me to reel back from the hug and smack her arm lightly.

“Oh shut up, I just have so much to tell you. Let’s walk and talk.” I smiled a little brighter than usual, that was totally the secret code that this particular event was about a guy.

I’m just a silly girl at the end, plagued with dreams of what 5 more minutes with Justin would have entailed. Five measly minutes could have given him enough time to ask for my damn phone number! Yes, I was having a shallow moment, and I was most definitely being delusional.

Back to reality and more important factors, like my music. Could it even be called my music when it wasn’t even created yet? Whatever, that’s not important. I was just stunned that someone I barely knew was so ready to help me give life to my dreams and my art. A horrible notion plagued me and I tried so hard to push it to the back of my mind. Was there some hidden agenda in this for him?

How typically girly of me it was to question and dissect everything a man said. I guess it was time for me to reread my copy of “He’s Just Not That Into You”.

“Dad, we’re going to go get coffee… we’ll be back in a few!” I said quickly, pulling Mia back towards the door. I knew that if I left quickly there would be no questions or attempts to make me stay. How sad is it that I have to ask permission to go have coffee and talk with my best friend?

“Alright… but stay away from that Timberlake fellow! He’s bad news.” My eyes nearly bugged out of my head when my father spoke. What the fuck did he know about Justin anyway?

Reading a tabloid did not mean that you knew someone’s fucking life story. My dad should know that from all the horrible, untrue stories they print about us. Now I was talking like I knew Justin. I had to remind myself that one conversation did not mean anything.

“Yeah yeah.” I grumbled and pushed a stunned Mia through the now opened studio doors. Really, I didn’t see a need for this conversation. I’d talk to whoever the hell I wanted to… but hide it from Daddy.

“I’m serious, Leila!! If I find out you were talking to that asshole I’m going to have to call Jorge.”

The door was halfway closed when I heard the mention of the dreaded body guard my Dad and older brother Aiden insisted I should have. I knew they only wanted me to have a body guard around to fucking baby sit me. Avoiding that guy became like a huge game, a huge, annoying game. But seriously, Brooke Hogan has it MUCH easier than I do.

“Oh my God… Dad seriously, I had a conversation with him, it’s not like I’m marrying him.” I pouted and crossed my arms. All I needed to do was stomp my foot on the floor and I’d revert back to my preteen years. “Uncle Bobby, please tell him he’s being unreasonable!”

I had noticed the drummer, Bobby Hayes (who wasn’t my Uncle, but I’ve known him so long that it feels he’s family), laughing hysterically at what was unfolding before him. Yeah, not cool. Someone had to have my back in this situation.

“Ooooh no. I’m not getting involved in this.” Bobby shook his hands wildly and backed up quickly, probably because of the evil glare my Father had sent his way.

“Dad, I’m not going to meet up with Justin. I’m going to get coffee with Mia. I will never talk to you again if you call Jorge!”

“Fine I won’t. Just go and behave yourself, Leila Lyric Jacobs.” Oh God, he just had to break out my full name. Talk about being dramatic. I just rolled my eyes at my Father and left that room as quickly as I could.

Mia was talking as we walked and I was too busy pouting. Yes, I was being over dramatic myself, but the thought of that creepy body guard following me around was not sitting well with me. I totally get that my Dad was trying to protect me from the men who are just like him, but seriously, in order to live and learn we must make our own mistakes. At least that’s how I see it.

“HELLO!? Are you not going to tell me what the fuck happened? Where, why, how and when, did you meet him?” Mia’s eyes were practically bugging out of her head. I’d probably be asking the same questions she was if I was her, but I might be screaming my head off. No not might, definitely.

The two of us walked to the hole in the wall coffee shop which was the closest place to get a decent cup of coffee. It was 2 blocks away compared to the 5 that Starbucks was. Seriously, I was not going to walk that far and pay five bucks for a stupid cup of coffee. Just tire me out and bleed me dry all at once.

“So I’m getting something to eat and he comes up behind me and starts just randomly talking to me. I had no friggin clue who it was so I’m being a cold bitch… like yeah yeah… I’m not interested.” I giggled softly.

“You’ve got to be kidding me? He just came up to you out of no where? Of all the days I come late, it had to be today.” Mia shook her head and groaned almost theatrically. I wanted to laugh again. “I so would have put Timberfake in his place.”

“Hey! He was a really nice guy… I even told him about the situation with my Dad and music, he offered to help me brainstorm and stuff.” I grinned. I probably came off like I was bragging, and I would totally do that with anyone else, but not with Mia. She wasn’t the jealous type, especially since Justin was the person I met. I said it before but to clarify, Mia could not stand him.

“Why would he offer to help you out of nowhere?” She raised an eyebrow at me and I knew I was going to hear it.

Mia is not a pessimist; she’s just… unbelievably honest. That’s what I love about her, she tells it like it is without any fear. I kind of compare her to my favorite musician/poet Otep Shamaya. Some people get the wrong impression of them because they seem dark and their words can be shocking, but in reality they are stronger than anyone gives them credit for.

I’d rather have honesty than blatant lies any day. I hate anyone and everyone that lies. There is no point to it. If you don’t like something, say it. Don’t beat around the bush or pretend to be nice, it just makes you come off as fake and untrustworthy.

“I don’t know… maybe he just felt bad for me.” I shrugged and ordered some green tea with mandarin orange. Yummy. I’m totally addicted to green tea, not because it’s an antioxidant and makes you lose a ton of weight, but it just tastes so good, much better than plain coffee anyway.

The coffee shop was small and slightly dark. Exposed brick walls gave the impression of being in an alleyway rather than a coffee shop, but all the same it was rustic. People were sitting on maroon couches, either staring at the unique art pieces on the walls or typing away on their laptops. The large windows were covered by heavy russet drapes, like theater curtains. Was that the message it was sending out? The outside world is nothing but a show where we played a part and in this coffee shop was where we could become our true selves? I’m over analyzing again.

Yet the coffee shop still called to me. Every time I came in I got this familiar feeling of being home. A calming sense that you only get when you’re around the familiar, the things you love. Places like this inspired me, it made me want to grab a pen and bare all the secrets my soul was hiding.

“First off, that just sounds shady to me. Why would anyone offer to help a perfect stranger with such a huge project? It’s not like you’re recording an album and he’s getting money out of it. I don’t see a catch, unless he wants a little somethin’ somethin’ and then I would be completely disgusted.” Mia turned up her nose obviously disgusted at the thought, while I, on the other hand, thought it was sexy as hell. The idea of Justin Timberlake wanting them is like almost every girl’s dream. “… and most importantly my darling, you know how to play the guitar and you know how to write. Your music should come from yourself.”

How right she was. Having a crush on Justin was one thing, but thinking of him as an outlet for my music was silly. If I wanted to create my art, I could do it on my own. I didn’t need an excuse to pick up my guitar or jot down some thoughts. It was all a matter of putting it together and I could definitely do it on my own.

“You are so right.” I sighed, leaning against the counter as she waited for her Soy Latte. “I just… I don’t know… he was nice and I just thought it’d be a killing two birds with one stone deal. I’d get to hang out with him and work on something that I love.”

Mia finally accepted her latte and handed the server some money. “That’s kind of silly. He’s just some stupid guy. It’d be a different story if he were a Backstreet Boy or something, then I would totally be singing a different song.”

“You’re so dorky.” I rolled my eyes at her and took a gulp of my tea. We had decided not to stay in the coffee shop, but instead we walked back to the studio. I was extremely relaxed now; maybe it was because I had an idea of hope. My Father could stop me from releasing an album but he couldn’t stop me from writing.

Still, I had no idea where to even begin putting it all together. It would have been nice to have someone to guide me through the process, but still, I’d most likely never see Justin again. There was no point in getting excited over something that would never be.

“I don’t know… maybe I’m wrong about this, but I think you’d get more satisfaction out of doing it yourself. It would be beating the odds.”

“That’s true, but I guess wanting to work with him stems more from how quickly I clicked with him. Mia, you know me, you know that I don’t open up to people easily and with him, I was ready to spill my life story.”

“You were comfortable. I guess being comfortable so early on could be both a blessing and a curse. If you’re too open you’re too vulnerable… but if you’re open you really see what the other person is all about.” Mia looked over at me as we reached the entrance way of Battery Studios. Her expression was sullen and I knew she was reliving her own demons. “The best advice I can give you to use with any guy is to watch yourself. It’s nice to get wrapped up in them, but don’t let it overwhelm your decision making. Lots of girls just fall for guys without really knowing them and give into temptations just because they want a guy to like them. I’m guilty of that too, but I don’t want the same to happen to you.”

“That won’t happen to me. No guy is worth throwing everything aside for. I’d rather be alone then kissing someone’s feet, AND most importantly, I have you to tell me to stop being silly. So all in all, I’m in the clear.” I smiled happily and finished off the last of my tea. I made sure to fulfill my contribution to the environment and tossed my garbage into the wastebasket.

“Still… warnings are just meant to educate. I know you’ll be fine though.” She put her arm around me and gave me a light squeeze.

I half smiled, knowing that she was right. There would be no way that anyone in my life would allow that to happen to me. Too many people cared about my wellbeing to let me get wrapped up in something I couldn’t handle. Though it was sometimes annoying, it was also nice I had something to fall back on. I contradict myself a lot, don’t I?

“Excuse me… are you Leila Jacobs?” Mia and I were walking towards my Father’s recording room when the studio secretary ran up to us. Why the hell would she want to know who I was anyway?

I sent her a confused smile before I spoke. “Yes…”

“Well, I have a message for you.” The woman pushed a folded up piece of paper in my direction. I examined the paper with confusion. Who the fuck was sending me a note?

“Who is this from?”

I turned to look at Mia for some guidance but she seemed just as irked at I was. No one knew where my father was recording, let alone that I was with him. I searched the woman’s face for some clue of the person’s identity. Yeah, right. Like looking at someone was going to make the answer pop out at me. In all seriousness, the woman seemed reluctant to answer, that just made me nervous.

“Justin Timberlake.”

Is their a word that goes beyond feeling merely shocked? I was flabbergasted, stunned, astonished, bewildered… you kind of get the idea, right? Well if you don’t, fuck you. There’s no other way I can put it into words.

“Oh um… thank you.” I was shaking. My hand was literally spazzing out so badly that Mia quickly reached out to steady it. The secretary probably thought I was a psycho case. Maybe I was.

I watched her walk away and finally turned my attention on the note that still laid in my hands. Justin Timberlake had written me a note. Oh God… YES! He wasn’t just being nice… he actually was nice! He was fucking more than that. Justin was just everything I wanted. Great. I hadn’t even read the note and I was already swept off my feet by the gesture.

“Are you going to open it or just stare with your jaw hanging open?”

Running my tongue across my bottom lip, I did something that resembled a nod. It might have looked like a head bang though, I’m not sure. The loose-leaf paper took forever to unfold. He might have folded it a good 4 or 5 times. How annoying. I couldn’t even begin to read when that’s all I wanted to do.

“Leila,
Sorry we couldn’t finish talking earlier. How about we meet up Thursday back here at 6 and we can do a little brainstorming. If Thursday isn’t cool then just give me a call and we can reschedule. My number is (449) 818-005. Hope to hear from you soon. J”

Oh Mylanta.

Chapter 3: Tomorrow Never Comes

“I can’t believe you’re actually going,” I listened to Mia speak through the receiver of my blue tooth headset. She had expressed earlier that she didn’t want me to go and meet with Justin. Partially it was because she thought I didn’t need to and I knew that somewhere, she didn’t trust him.

Why didn’t anyone trust him? What was so bad about him that caused everyone to continually warn me about him? Everyone has their share of bad moments but he lives his out in the public eye. I don’t know, I guess I relate to him in a way, my shortcomings aren’t as bad as his have been, but the world has been watching me since birth. I just see where he’s coming from. No one should be judged.

“It’s not a big deal, Mia, I really don’t see why you’re so worried.” I shook my head and pulled into the first free parking spot I could find. Annoyingly, that parking spot was in the back of the dark lot.

I could already envision myself running through the lot, terrified of the invisible monsters my over active imagination would create. Of course it would be me to freak out at the sound of the wind blowing.

“I’m sorry I’m freaked out that the biggest asshole who sold out almost all his ex-girlfriends wants to help my best friend.” Mia sighed. It was cool that she was looking out for me, but still, give me some credit here. I’m not some stupid girl that can be taken advantage of. I’m totally in control of my life.

“Mia, I swear that if anything goes wrong you will be the first person I call. Okay?” I said and flicked a strand of my wavy blonde hair behind my ear. The studio would be reached fast if I sprinted out of the car. The faster I was in the studio the faster I would be out of “danger”. Oh that’s totally my paranoia talking. Years of listening to my Father tell me that the world was dangerous had definitely gotten to me. “Besides, Adrianna is going to be coming by after work. So I repeat, do not worry!”

“Easier said than done, but whatever. You just better pray that your Dad doesn’t find out because the two of us will be so screwed.”

I wanted to laugh but I held it back. She was absolutely right about that one. If my Dad found out that anyone knew that I was hanging out with Justin, hell would break loose. I don’t know why who I hung out with was so important to everyone. I just wanted to tell everyone to get the hell over it and let me live my life.

Control is what everyone wanted to do to me. What’s more horrifying about that is how easy I give in to it. Granted, I can’t support myself yet and I don’t have the money to live on my own, I probably wasn’t entitled to any freedom, that really wasn’t fair. I sound like a spoiled rich girl now, ugh! I just want the opportunity to grow up. Okay, now I’m stressing about things I shouldn’t be worrying about right now. I was minutes away from hanging out with Justin Timberlake.

“My Dad is not going to find out… can you stop being paranoid?” I rolled my eyes. It’s funny how we talk on the phone and act out things. As if the person on the other end can even see us. “Anyway, I’m almost in the studio, I’ll call you later.”

Listening to my friend sigh, I rolled my eyes again. “Fine, just be careful.”

“You said that already.” I replied in a sing song tone. I definitely was being annoying now, but honestly, I just wanted to get the fuck off the phone already. No offense to Mia though, I love her to death, it’s just weighted. Talk to Mia, hang out with Justin. Yeah, real hard choice there. I’m a bad friend, so sue me. “I’ll talk to you later… bye.”

Ending the phone call, I almost immediately checked myself in a near by car mirror. I’m not vein; I’m just like every other woman, who had to make sure they always looked presentable. Too bad I wouldn’t even have a shot with him.

**Justin**

Demario and I were standing outside the studio blazing. I know that sounds fucked up but I’m a firm believer that being high fuels your creativity. I’ve come up with some of my biggest hits high out of my mind. This studio session would be no different then any other.

Well, it actually was going to be very different. Leila Jacobs, the hottest thing on two legs, was going to be joining me here tonight. Fucking hell, I wanted to do her so badly. She’s so goddamn innocent that I doubt she even knows that. It’s insane; I’ve never met such a hot girl who has no idea how gorgeous they are.

That kind of girl is girlfriend material though. I don’t need that shit in my life right now. Girlfriends complicate things and I don’t need that. It’s enough that I have my demanding career but I don’t have the time to deal with some bitch who’ll complain about shit, spend my money and most definitely cheat on me. Like the name of my second *NSync album, I want No Strings Attached.

“Isn’t that her, man?” Demario spoke from next to me. I looked up from the blunt I had taken a hit from and stared at Leila walking in the distance.

She walked over the asphalt parking lot, her long legs shinning from what I assume was oil. Fuck, she oiled up her legs, I wanted to run my hands up down them, slowly teasing her and making her pussy dripping wet. My cock needed to be in that tight little pussy, thrusting and pumping, making her scream out. Those legs would be over my shoulders as I slam into her. Shit, if I was a different guy, I’d drag her back to my car and take what should be mine.

Girls like Leila Jacobs get attached and want commitment though. I can’t give that to anyone. They don’t call me Trousersnake for nothing.

But Leila, she’s a good girl, 20 fucking years old but with the innocence of a 15 year old, probably the experience as well. She was so uncorrupted by the world around her. If it was any other girl, I would have spread her legs by now and given my cock without even bothering to speak to her.

It sucked for me that I respect her father too much to even think about trying that one.

“Yeah, that’s her.” I exhaled the smoke and handed Demario the rest of the blunt, turning to grin at the girl who was slowly coming closer to me. She was fucking hot. I couldn’t control myself lustful gaze that sweeps over her perfectly shaped hour glass figure.

Wearing a barely there denim skirt and tank top that perfectly depicts her classic shape. The kind most girls today don’t have. She’s perfectly curved in all the right places. Fucking hell, I want to know every single inch of those curves. I want everything she has to give and so much more. I want my hands under that skirt, lifting it up and pulling her down onto my dick.

“Hey Justin… sorry I’m late.” Leila smiled at me sweetly. Would she be smiling like that when I came in her mouth? FUCK! I can’t think like this anymore. Leila is too good for me. Way too good to even think dirty thoughts about, but I can’t control myself. I just want to fuck her senseless and she has no clue, she’ll never have an inkling about it. She just can’t.

“Don’t worry you’re not late sweetie.” I said and heard Demario mumble that I was a fag. I stepped on his foot hard and he let out a loud “OW”, which I couldn’t help but to laugh at.

That stupid fuck.

“You guys are crazy.” She giggled. Leila had the cutest giggle; it was so girly and young. Everything about her screamed innocence and naivety, I wouldn’t let myself take that away from her. “Come on lets get to work I’m really excited.”

I nodded at her and smiled; I couldn’t help but wonder if she felt the same way about me. Most girls think I’m hot and it would actually be surprising if she didn’t. Then again, I’m a proud cocky mother fucker. I know I’m hot shit; girls around the globe have been creaming their panties for me since I was 15.

But like I said, Leila was not like other girls, this just only added to her appeal.

**Leila**

We had been going back and forth with song ideas for almost two hours. Two fucking hours of conversation with Justin. He was becoming more and more adorable to me, not to mention giving me proof that all the rumors about him were just that, rumors. Untrue stories that jealous people fabricated about him. Justin was a sweetheart, taking time out from his busy schedule to sit around and help me with something that wouldn't even benefit him.

"I like that idea you first had... the one about being done with someone's bullshit." Justin stated and looked down at the paper we had been jotting ideas down on. It was a complete mess with words and music notes, the start of a few melodies.

"I like that one too... I actually started one like that a few months back but it's really rough still." I bit at my lip, I had never actually shown anyone my writing before. Taking a deep breath to calm myself down, I knew that if anyone would be honest about my writing, it would be him. If it sucked, I just had to deal with it. If I was going to be in the lime light I had to deal with taking criticism.

"So start singing girl... I wanna hear your voice already."

"Well, it's just a poem I don't have a melody or anything to it..." I pulled out a tattered piece of notebook paper from my purse and stared at the bittersweet words. They weren't anything special, fuck maybe my voice wasn't special either. Now I was just making myself paranoid.

"Girl, stop stalling and sing it already." Justin smiled at me which actually comforted me a little bit. Something inside me felt comfortable with him. How fucking eerie.

Inhaling sharply, I watched as Justin leaned back on the couch. Damnit, I wanted to jump on him and take advantage of him. He'd probably try to push me off him but I just didn't care. There was nothing more I wanted to feel than his lips on mine.

Leila... FOCUS!

"I'm over your lies, and I'm over your games. I'm over you asking me, when you know I'm not okay. You call me at night, and I pick up the phone. And though you've been telling me, I know you're not alone. oh.." I sang, silently thanking a higher power that my voice wasn't cracking. That definitely would have showed Justin that I wasn't professional and he would have ran for the doors. "That's why, your eyes, I'm over it. Your smile, I'm over it. Realize, I'm over it...I'm over it."

I had my eyes closed the entire time I was singing. I hadn't noticed that my friend Adrianna had walked into the room; I noticed her standing in the doorway with a smile on her face. Thank God she distracted me because to tell you the truth, I was a little nervous to see Justin's reaction to my voice and lyrics.

Adrianna is beautiful, and I'm not just saying that because she's one of my best friends. She has the long dark hair and amazing green eyes. This girl could be a model if she wanted to, too bad she doesn't even see how pretty is. Every time someone would bring up that idea to her she would dismiss it. I just want to smack the sense into her and tell her she doesn't have to be working her ass of in a 9 to 5 job. Adrianna could be flying all over the world and hanging out with the hottest celebrities at the hottest clubs.

I guess it was noble of her to want to work and earn her money the old fashioned way. She's just a simple, down to earth girl.

"I know exactly who that song is to!" Adrianna exclaimed with a giggle. I bit my lip and walked over to her, giving her and hug and squeeze, my way of saying "shut up"! Adrianna meant well but she's the type of person that doesn't realize what she's saying before she says it.

So that song was about my ex boyfriend Travis. Anyone that knew me well could understand it through the painfully truthful lyrics. Still, I wasn't going to get into something so personal with Justin. I barely knew him and going into the details of how my ex-boyfriend used me and cheated on me was not something I cared to get into.

Anyway, don't guys think girls who go on and on about their exes are boring? Or still have feelings for them? That definitely is not me. Travis is a barely friend to me now, but nothing more. We went through a lot together and I'll always be grateful to him for having my back when things went wrong. As a couple though, we just don't mesh well. His fault, not mine.

"Ay gorgeous..." Demario spoke from across the room. I bit my lip and held back a giggle when I saw him eyeing Adrianna with a cheesy smile. Great pick up line.

I walked back to the couch and sat next to Justin this time, instead of across from him. I suppressed another giggle and looked over at Adrianna who was shyly smiling at Demario. When the fuck was this girl ever shy? Did I sense a new couple forming?

"Hey..." She smiled again and then looked over at me sitting with Justin. I gave her a look, the look every girl should know. It's that "what the hell are you doing?!" face, every girl has received that look from her girlfriends.

Adrianna needed to go and fucking talk to him! This delicious man was most definitely eyeing her up and down and she wasn't even going to say more than "hey" to him? Oh hell no. I was so close to getting up and shoving her into him... accidentally of course.

I saw the way Adrianna was looking at him too. She thought he was hot as hell. Fucking hell, he really was. His white t-shirt and gray sweat pants only showed that he didn't have to wear designer clothes to look amazing. Not to mention his lips, god those lips were so thick and perfect. Adrianna loved lips like that, this guy was 100 percent her type.

Demario "Raz B" Thornton, formerly of B2K was anyone's type though. He and Justin both had that boy next door, I'll do you till your sore as hell look. It made me a little jealous that Justin wasn't looking at me that way, but oh well, I'd just have to get over it. It'd still be nice to try and get Demario and Adrianna together. I tried to quickly devise a scheme to give them some alone time.

"Um... Adrianna this is Justin and that is Demario... and vice versa." I said and smiled, probably a little too big. "Justin um how about we go grab that thing that we said we had to get?"

"What thing?"

My eyes widened and I gave him a silly look, hoping he'd get the idea. "You know THE thing."

"My thing?"

"Why are you two talking about penises?" Adrianna asked suddenly. I just burst out into laughter and pulled Justin up from the seat with me. He was laughing just as hard as I was, I'm not sure if it was at me though. Oh well. I still couldn't stop giggling.

"We'll be back in a few minutes..."

"You're going to bone in the car, aren't you? NIIICE!" Demario grinned at us, it looked even slightly perverted.

Damnit, I wished we actually were going to fuck in the car. I'm supposed to be this good girl, but with Justin I felt like given the word, I'd do whatever he wanted. That could be an extremely dangerous way to feel especially since I barely knew him. Still, I wanted to be bad and give myself to him as much as he'd want it. He was so worth breaking the rules.

"De shut the fuck up!" Justin answered quickly and let out a short laugh.

"No we're not, we're going to get something! Get your mind out of the gutter!" I stuck my tongue out at Demario and Adrianna who were giggling and pulled Justin out of the room.

We slammed the studio door shut and giggled in the hallway. I had to put my hand on his shoulder to steady myself. Okay, so maybe I was just holding onto him because I wanted to touch him, I think any girl would do that so they could be close to the man they are crushing on.

"So tell me why you were talking about my penis?"

I slapped his arm and turned red in embarrassment. He just grinned at me. "I wasn't talking about your penis! I just saw that Adri and Demario liked each other so I wanted to give them alone time."

"OH! Now I feel like a dick..." He laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Let's go take a walk then..." He linked his arm with mine and I let out an inner scream/giggle thing. I was such a typical girl. "So why the hell didn't you tell me your voice was that good?"

"Because its not...its average. I'm just hoping I can come out with a different sound to make it stand out."

"Are you kidding me? You have this sultry voice... it oozes sex appeal. It's unique and I absolutely love it. I think you have a lot of possibilities, especially with that song." Justin smiled at me so honestly.

Had my singing really made an impression on him? I wanted to run and tell one of my friends about how absolutely perfect this was. Justin Timberlake was impressed by my singing. My own family members weren't even that impressed with my talents. I just assumed it was because I was just okay at it. Hearing him say that just made me feel so happy. Maybe I really was destined to share my music with the world.

"Not to pry but Adrianna mentioned that the song you sang was about someone... can I ask who?" We walked to down the hall and I nervously thought of the different ways I could avoid this question. Talking about your exes just makes me feel uncomfortable.

"Just this guy...an ex. It was a long time ago though... almost a year. I'm way over it."

Justin looked at me and sent a slight nod my way. "He must have been a real idiot to ever let you go. He didn't deserve you."

Did my ears deceive me or was Justin complimenting me now? Oh my God... did he actually really mean that or was he saying that to make me feel better? This man was so fucking confusing. Did he like me or was this just something he'd say to all his girl friends? I definitely dissect everything he said. It was getting so tiring. Why couldn't people just say what they meant?

I smiled at him, hoping his kiss would come. This was the perfect moment for it. He was comforting me about some asshole guy I didn't care about anymore. The kiss SHOULD happen now if it ever was. I stopped in front of him, my hands reaching for his and stepped up on my toes. If he wasn't going to make the move and kiss me, I definitely was.

This was it. Our bodies were moving closer to each other, our fingers intertwined. A kiss was the only solution for this confusing equation. My lips were centimeters away from his, I could feel his hot breath touching my skin. This was exactly what I wanted and it seemed like this was what he wanted too.

A ringing cell phone changed all of that.

"Fucking hell..." He muttered under his breath; he let go of my hands and pulled his I-phone from his pocket. He fumbled around with the buttons, I'm assuming he had no idea how to work the phone. It only added to his appeal. Not being technologically savvy just made him more human. "Hello? Oh fuck... um... hey Callie..."

Callie? Okay this was just a friend he was talking to. I was not going to jump to conclusions and become jealous. We hadn't even kissed, I had no right.

"Yeah… we're still on for tonight.. I didn't forget." I noticed a grin form on his face. I hadn't seen him smile like that since I met him. Justin smiled like he knew some secret that no one could ever comprehend. Shit. He was amazing. "Well I'll pick you up at 11... aight? Yeah you better wear that for me..."

I shouldn't have felt upset. I barely knew this guy and I let some silly crush distract me from the true purpose of why we were working on this music. Justin did not LIKE ME and I could not think of him as anything else but a friend. I watched him hang up the phone and plastered on a fake smile. I could NOT show him that I cared. I WOULD not.

"You have to get going?"

"Yeah I'm going out with this girl...um how about tomorrow you come back at like 3. I want to work on those song lyrics and maybe work on a melody for it. I think you should record it." Justin backed away from me. I guess I must of made him feel uncomfortable. SHIT. I just hope I didn't ruin everything with us.

"That's great. I'll see you tomorrow then..." I turned to go get Adrianna and leave as fast as I could. Holding back my embarrassment was getting really difficult to do. Leaving was the only option, even if it meant fucking things up for Adrianna and Demario.

There was always tomorrow for them though, but not for me and Justin.

song credit- "Over it" by Katharine Mcphee

Chapter 4- Take Me

So take me and let me in
Don't break me and shut me out
I lit my pain on fire
And I watched it all burn down
Now I'm dancing in the ashes
And theres no one else around
Cause I wanna be apart of something
This is just a story of a broken soul- Take Me by Papa Roach

**Leila**    

    "Would you stop being nervous?" Adrianna instructed me as we walked toward the studio doors, starbucks coffees in our hands and my acoustic guitar strapped to my back. We arrived at the studio at 10 to 3, perfect for us to BS a little bit before I had to meet up with Justin.

    Okay, I was TRYING not to be nervous, I honestly was. But how could I not feel like a complete jackass when I came onto Justin. He obviously wanted this to be just a work relationship and there I went and almost fucking kissed him. I wouldn't regret this at all if my lips would have just brushed against his, but they didn't. I just look like a little girl with a gigantic crush on him.

    Then again, I might just be that.

    "Dri, I fucking went to kiss the guy and he didn't share the same feelings. I freaked him out. You should have seen how fast he ran for the exit." I took a deep breath and ran my hand over my face. "I'm an idiot."

    "Take a deep breath and chill out. You are not an idiot, you just got the wrong sign." Adrianna stopped walking, turned to face me and put her hands on my shoulders. "Shit happens sometimes... you just need to get back in there and act like nothing happened. That'll just show him that it doesn't bother you."

    GAH! But it did bother me! I wanted him to like me and knowing it wasn't going to happen for us hurt. You can't force someone to be with you though. I just had to keep telling myself that until it sunk in.

    "I guess your right. I'll just act like nothing happened." Yeah right, easier said than done.

    Adrianna pulled on my arm, she was trying to give me support, like YOU CAN DO THIS. It was nice that she believed in me, but could I actually do what she believed in me to do? I was losing all faith in myself. This opportunity wasn't supposed to make me feel like an idiot, it was supposed to enhance my abilities. I needed to grow up.

    "Say it like you mean it, Lay."

    "I do mean it... I want to mean it at least. I just liked him and it hurts just the tiniest bit that he doesn't reciprocate."

    Adrianna smiled sadly at me. "You don't know that for sure."

    "Dri, lets get real. He backed away from kissing me so he could go on a date with another girl. Justin does not like me. I just have to get the hell over it." I stated confidently, or at least tried to be confident. Trying was better than nothing though.

    "If he doesn't like you then it's his loss."

     It's funny how our friends always say things like that to us. How is it their loss exactly? They are hot as fuck and they won't look twice at you. Adrianna meant well of course, and maybe in some alternate reality it would be true. Until then, I'd silently sulk but wouldn't let it show on the outside. I had music to start creating! That had to be the most important thing to do.

Adrianna and I walked into the studio, her arm tightly wrapped around my shoulder. As soon as we opened the door a strange melody filled the air. Justin was pacing the room as JC fucking Chasez and Demario fiddled with the soundboard. It was cute to watch Justin singing lyrics to himself, it was like he was in his own little world. So fucking adorable.

    "You look like a Cosmopolitan model, so how's about a drink a cosmopolitan? I wanna get you drunk, no wait, I'd rather you remember, all the things we're gonna do tonight, ooo.."

    I felt Adrianna start shaking next to me and the words must of sent her over the edge into a fit of laughter. Okay so the lyrics were pretty ridiculous but Adrianna was blatantly laughing in his face. I sent her a hard shove but she just ended up laughing more. Shit, now she was making me laugh.

    Great job, laughing in the face of the guy helping me with my music. I could totally kiss this luck goodbye.

    "What's so funny?" Justin asked smiling at us.

    Adrianna bent over and laughed uncontrollably. Her hand was over her mouth as she unsuccessfully tried to muffle her laughter. Damnit, she was going to leave me to explain it all. I wanted to give her another shove for this!

    "Um... long story?" I giggled, probably sounding very unconvincing. I'm the type of person that just can't lie without it looking completely obvious. I get like a little kid and it's written all over my face. Fucking hell, I wished I could act at that moment.

    "Oh... okay..." Justin said and ran a hand over his short hair. He looked at us oddly. Oh my God, did he really have no idea that we were laughing at his cheesy lyrics? Cocky bastard. "I'm just finishing up the lyrics to this song I'm doing for a soundtrack. Give me a little bit and we'll start working on your song, Leila."

    "What's the song called?" Adrianna asked as her laughter started to die down, but had not completely dissipated. I noticed her looking in Demario's direction too.

    I just wanted to shove their heads together or something, fucking hell. De and Adrianna had clicked from what I heard too. The asshole didn't even ask her for her number. I was determined for that to happen though. Demario and Adrianna were going to be a hot couple and it would not only be because I was trying to compensate for Justin and I not hooking up. I truly wanted Adrianna to be happy. She had her own share of assholes that had hurt her probably much worse than I had been. She deserved the best and I wanted to make sure she got it.

    "Oh.. .its called "Boutique in Heaven"."

    Adrianna's eyes widened and she dragged me out the door, shooting an "I'll be right back!" at the guys. Thank God she pulled us out because I had cracked up just as hard as she did at the silly name. Yeah, I didn't want to break it to Justin that his precious song sounded like a bad pickup line. At least his voice sounded nice, that had to count for something!

    "Please tell me that song was a joke..." Adrianna giggled, we ran down the hall so we could find somewhere to laugh without being seen or heard. "I want to get you drunk? What girl would find that cute?!"

    "Me?"

    More laughter emerged after my simple and truthful statement. I was almost rolling on the floor at this point. Looking over at Adrianna, I saw tears falling down her face. We we're both so insane. I swear, silliness just ensues when we are together.

    "Okay... haha... we have to calm down... and go back there." I said through fits of heavy laughter. The secretary at the front desk was busy staring at us.  We must have looked insane, standing by some couches, laughing like two hyenas. I could so read her thoughts, "STUPID WHORES... WHERE'S MY PEPPER SPRAY?!".

    Adrianna rolled her eyes at the woman who had picked up the phone, most likely to call security. Why the hell wasn't I surprised?

    "Okay okay... but if he's singing again.. I'm outta here."

    "Deal." I replied with a big grin. The two of us started walking back to the recording room with no idea that today would be the start of a series of events so crazy that neither of us could see them coming. A wild ride that would change everyone's lives.

    **Justin**

    I stared at her as her fingers nimbly move across the strings of her acoustic. Leila was concentrating so hard on playing the music that she hadn't noticed that I was not paying attention to the melody. She strummed the guitar so gently, the melody she created intoxicated me more. Fuck, this girl looked so beautiful as she concentrated oh so hard on her music. Leila Jacobs is a goddess and I wanted her more and more. Just watching her as her head moved back and forth to the beat and her wavy blonde hair covered one of her beautiful blue-green eyes intoxicated me.

    This beautiful woman is not someone I want to just fuck. Somewhere inside me wanted more out of her, and that terrified me. I hadn't been in a serious relationship in years, I didn't even know if I was capable of giving myself to someone in that sense. But whenever she looked at me and smiled that little girl smile, I melted to the floor.

She had me wrapped around her finger and she didn't even know.

    She looked up at me and smiled softly, I guess I hadn't been as discreet as I would of liked. Whatever, looking at her was like staring into the eyes of innocence. Purity. I didn't say anything else but just sat down on the couch next to her, slightly smiling back.

    "You don't like the song, do you?" Leila looked at me sadly. I knew in my soul that I never wanted to make this girl hurt in any way. That was just more reason for me to keep her out of my life in a romantic sense.

    That was probably why I was glad I didn't kiss her. Don't get me wrong, I was dying to feel my lips pressing against her soft glossed lips, but she's too good. Leila doesn't deserve an asshole like me corrupting her. She can do so much better than me, well not looks wise, because let's face it, I'm the hottest man to walk the earth. But she does deserve someone who can give her all that lovey dovey shit I write about in my songs. I wouldn't be caught dead actually doing that crap for a girl though.

    "I more than like it.. I love it." I replied with sincerity, something I used with few people. Not many deserved it anyway.

    "Really? You mean that?" Her eyes lit up like a child on Christmas morning. She was so adorable and so excited by the smallest things, which was surprising considering she was raised with everything at her fingertips. Leila should have been spoiled or had some sort of fucking flaw but she had none.

    I hated her for being so fucking perfect. I hated that I couldn't just fuck her already and treat her like every other girl in my life.

    "I'd never lie to you, Leila."

    A smile tugged on her lips as I spoke the words, part of me wondered if it was fucked up to give her these signs of my feelings towards her. Selfishly though, I wanted this pretty girl to go crazy for me the same way I was crazy for her.

    "Corny ass lines..." I heard Demario mumble from the background with a short laugh coming from Adrianna who was by his side. I turned my head so Leila couldn't see me and shot him the only glare. Mother fucker needed to shut his mouth before I blew his spot up too! "Pussy bitch."

    WHAT?! He had the nerve to call me pussy bitch when he had barely even made a move on the sexy little Adrianna? At least I had a legitimate excuse, his was that he was a BITCH.

    "The only pussy bitch is you, deep throat."

    "Deep throat?" Leila and Adrianna exchanged glances before bursting out into hysterical laughter. Those two were always fucking laughing. Sometimes it even felt like they were poking fun at me and Demario, but I'd just pretend that wasn't the case for the time being. I'm too hot and talented to be made fun of anyway.

    "Yeah... Deep Throat...Demario Thornton."

    If possible, Leila and Adrianna's laughter grew at my words. Demario just shook his head angrily at me. Haha, what the fuck was he going to call me, Jack off Justin? Yeah, sorry that doesn't beat Deep Throat.

    "OOOH! I don't deep throat ANYONE. Girls be deep throatin' me! Well... if they can handle what I'm packin that is..."

    Laughing, I turned I glanced at Adrianna, that chick was OBVIOUSLY sprung on Demario. Her eyes widened at talk of the size of his cock. I bet she was even thinking about how nice it would be to try and deep throat him. Fucking hell, my thoughts were on Leila doing that to me. I'm a sexually obsessed son of a bitch, what can I say?

    "JUUUUUSTIN?" My eyes widened at the annoying, hoarse voice coming from the door which was now opening. Fucking Lindsay. That stalker bitch found me. SHIT. I did the only logical thing I could think of, I dove behind the couch and hid from the psychotic slut while Demario doubled over in laughter. "Babe are you here?"

    "Oh hey Linds... you just missed him." JC said from the other side of the room. I almost forgot he was there but was instantly grateful that the mature one could handle the psycho bitch situation. Too bad she wasn't mature enough to understand I didn't want her skanky ass. I just watched from the corner of the couch and hoped she'd leave fast.

    "Are you serious?!" She whined and stomped her high heeled boot on the ground, the clicking sound filled the room. What a spoiled bitch.

    "Yeah, sorry. Buh bye, Lindsay." Demario replied.

    "Well is he coming back? I could wait."

    "No he's not. Now leave." Demario answered her rudely. He couldn't stand that fake bitch almost as much as I did. I'm saying almost because he didn't run to a clinic the day after to get checked out for STDs. That was not fucking fun at all.

    "I don't waaaanna leave." Lindsay complained. "I NEED to speak to him."

    "Um... sorry sweetie, he's with his girlfriend right now." Leila spoke up sweetly. A smile crossed my face when I heard her voice. My dream girl was sticking up for me against the woman from hell.

    "GIRLFRIEND?" I noticed Lindsay look Leila up and down in disgust. My anger grew but I tried to contain it as best as I could. Lindsay shouldn't of been in the same room as someone as beautiful and talented as Leila. "Who the fuck are you and when did THIS happen?!"

    "Um... it happened when he asked her out?" Leila laughed and cutely shrugged. "And I'm Leila Jacobs..."

    "Yeah, the obviously more talented female in the room." Adrianna finished Leila's sentence.

    I almost broke out into a heavy laughter. I knew I liked that Adrianna chick. Just for that, I was going to PUSH for Demario to make a move on her. Being slightly selfish, I hoped that maybe if I saw one of my boys settling down it would give me the incentive to do the same. Maybe.

    "Yeah... whatever." Lindsay flipped her blonde hair. It was sickening because I knew she dyed it specifically because I like blondes. But Lindsay as a blonde yeah no. That orange skin and blonde was gross.

    "Alright, people are actually trying to work here... can the cat fight end already?" Leila sighed heavily and crossed her arms over her huge chest. I wanted my cock in between that cleavage, I wanted to be inside every one of her crevices and take her in every way possible. It wasn't fucking fair.

    Lindsay narrowed her eyes at Leila, walking over and tapping her in the shoulder with a manicured digit. "Watch yourself sweetheart, you just made an enemy."

    Raising her eyebrow, Leila looked over at Adrianna and Demario and twirled her finger by the side of her head, making the "crazy" motion. Adrianna and Demario just laughed agreeing with her. Did Lindsay really think she was scary? If I wanted I could have her "career" end completely. Crazy ass bitch. Too bad I'm nice unless I'm fucked with and Lindsay was walking a thin line.

    "JC, would you please tell Justin I came by?" Lindsay asked in a sickeningly sweet tone. PHONEY.

"Yeah sure. I'll tell him to call you." JC replied diplomatically. Leave it to him to be the adult in every situation.

"Thanks hun." She blew him a kiss and turned on her heel, not before sending a nasty glare at Leila, Adrianna and Demario. That just incited laughter from them. Fucking Lindsay was going to have to pay for this shit.

I waited till I was sure she was gone and came out from behind the gray micro fiber couch. I didn’t care if I looked like a pussy or what not. Even if Leila thought I was, I’d just remind her that I am what I eat, and then lick her pussy till she cums as hard as she can. Goddamn, I’m completely sprung on this bitch and I can’t take it much longer.

“Well…. Lindsay seems interesting.” Leila spoke with a smirk, her eyes glued to me inquisitively. I didn’t know how to respond yet. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted her to know about my disgusting past with Lindsay.

“Interesting is an understatement. Why don’t you try completely fucking insane.” Adrianna stated with a huff. “How you didn’t knock that girls teeth out I don’t know!”

Leila shrugged her shoulders, still staring at me. “Well, I didn’t want to ruin Justin’s relationship with such a lovely girl.”

“Relationship? HA. He don’t wife em he one nights em… right J?” Demario quoted Jay-Z with a smile, showing how he was proud of me. I just glared at him uncomfortably, not sure which part of that statement I was angrier at, the fact that Leila knew Lindsay and I had fucked or the fact that she had confirmation that I was a player. FUCK. I shouldn’t have cared. It wasn’t like I’d ever get with her anyway.

Still this girl seems like a fucking saint. It made me feel guilty for some of the shit I’ve done. I didn’t like feeling that way at all. Being ashamed is something I’ve felt on rare occasions, like with my Mom or Grandma, women I respect. Does this mean I respect Leila? Shit, I barely know this broad and I’m developing these complicated emotions.

I never signed up for this shit; I don’t think I’m ready for this at all.

“Not always…” I lied.

Demario rolled his eyes and smirked at me, his rolling chair inched closer to Adrianna. Holy shit, was he actually going to make a move on her? I smirked in his direction as Demario began to lay it on thick.

“Whatever playa.” He stared at Adrianna with a grin on his face. “You girls free Friday night? JT’s throwing a panty party… y’all gotta come.”

“A panty party?” Leila giggled; she was still standing close by me. “What the fuck is a panty party?”

I couldn’t believe De was inviting Leila and Adrianna to this party. It was pretty much an excuse to get girls to come over in lingerie; we’d go after the hottest ones there. So I knew it wasn’t the most decent thing for us to do but what the fuck could I say? It was fun. Now Leila and Adrianna were going to go and I wasn’t going to make a move on anyone but sit with my dick fucking hard as rock the entire night.

Shit, I was getting hard at the thought of Leila in a little see through nightie. I HAD to see that sight for myself.

“Yeah we all dress up in our underwear, but sexy shit you know. Like girls wear them little Victoria secret ish.” Demario grinned at the thought. “It’s mad fun, we all get fucked up.”

“So you want us to go to a party in lingerie?” Adrianna asked, obviously holding back some sort of laughter. Leila was doing the same thing. I almost started to blush at the laughter. The key word is almost. I don’t fucking blush. “That sounds like rape waiting to happen.”

“I second that.” Leila giggled; I turned to smile at her. She was so fucking cute. If I didn’t get to fuck her, I at least had to see her close to naked.

That was going to drive me fucking crazy.

“Naaah… girl I won’t let anything happen to you.” I said and smiled at her. “You should come though… it’ll be fun.”

“Um… we’ll see.” Adrianna replied for the two with a coy smile. This girl knew how to play the game. She knew how to tease men to make them want her more. Leila on the other hand, just blushed in a cute little girl way. “We should get going though… maybe you guys will eventually get to record something next time.”

“Yeah maybe.” I smiled crookedly at Leila who pushed a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear and away from her face. “Maybe if we’re not too hung over on Saturday we’ll start recording or something.”

“Okay that’s cool.” She bit her lip and picked up her purse. “Later guys.”

Leila Jacobs was going to be there on Friday and I was going to torture myself over the one girl I could never get. In the meantime, I’d call up Callie again. That bitch was always up to get fucked. I needed to release stress after spending a day with Leila, unable to touch her and kiss her the way I wanted. 

Chapter 5-Everything But Mine

“Oh, you're the calm when my world is crashing
My heart, my blood, my passion
Why, tell me why
You're everything but mine”- Everything but Mine by Backstreet Boys

**Leila**

“Lay, are you going to get laid tonight?” Adrianna asked as we walked down the street, we meaning the two of us plus Mia.

“NO!” I answered and slapped my best friend’s arm. “Are you going to fuck Demario? I think that’s a better question!”

Grinning devilishly at my friend, I ducked as she attempted to swat the back of my head. It was true though, Adrianna had a better chance with Demario then I did with Justin. Demario asked her to come to a lingerie party and only invited me because of her. 

Still though, Justin sent me these weird fucking mixed signals. I absolutely loathed when guys flirt just to flirt. It confuses us females! Whatever, I promised myself I wasn’t going to stress about this guy. He was a dork and I was not going to feed into his already huge ego.

People like that don’t deserve the attention. It’s better to just ignore them.

“If either of you do that, I’m smacking the hell out of you and I’m dead serious. Neither of you really know these guys! These celebrity guys are all the same, fuck a girl and leave them. It’s absolutely pathetic and disgusting, I really don’t see how any girl in their right mind could find that attractive.” Mia shook her head in what appeared to be disgust. It’s funny how she’s always right.

“No I am NOT sleeping with Demario. I don’t know him but he’s fine, just like the delicious Mr. JT!” Dri giggled and placed her arm around Mia’s shoulder, trying to get her to lighten up. Mia was the mature one out of us and that was absolutely great. She kept us in line and out of trouble. “But you know, you should come with us to the party.”

“Yeah right!” She scoffed loudly. “I wouldn’t be caught dead hanging out with some drunken celebrities who think they’re the shit, let alone hanging out with them in a bra and fucking panties.”

“Awww, come on Mia! It could be fun, besides, I want you to meet Justin and tell me what you think.” I begged my friend as we walked down the busy Greenwich Village street. I absolutely loved the village, and searching here in the wacky little boutiques for the perfect baby doll was fun in itself.

The insane things we were trying on were comedy in itself. I forced Adrianna to try on this flight attendant one, it looked like the one Britney Spears wore in her music video “Toxic”, yeah we needed mental help. It was like one big movie montage, a fucking crazy scene from The Sweetest Thing. Moments like this made me so grateful for my amazing friends.

Girls should only be so lucky to have strong, empowering females like them in their lives.

“I already told you what I think, he’s a vapid attention whore who will do anything for fame and money. I don’t need to meet him to see that.” Mia spoke harshly about Justin, part of me was scared that she was right.

I worried that he was using my status to gain more recognition. Aiding the “great” Noah Jacob’s daughter would look amazing on his part, especially if he helped produce a hit album. Was that all he was after? I just wanted to know the truth; I think I had every right to it.

“He’s not like that. Justin is a really good guy, you should just come meet him and give him a chance.” I spoke the words, unsure if I was trying to convince Mia or myself of what I was saying.

Mia quickly shook her head “No”. “There is no way in hell that I’m going to this party in lingerie so I can be ogled by some losers who want to get in my pants.”

“Oh come on Mia, you act like a friggin old lady! Just come with us and stop bitching about it.” Adrianna smiled confidently at her.

We had stopped walking and were now standing around and idly chatting. People were shoving into us as they tried to walk by. They didn’t even bother to shoot an “I’m sorry” our way, so fucking rude. But I guess that’s just New York City, people are always in a rush. Country living is so much nicer in that aspect, people are laid back and everything is calm.

I’d kill for a life without constant stress and annoyances. Too bad being associated with a celebrity doesn’t allow for that. It’s almost funny how I’m dying to get my music out in the world when I hate the attention. It’s ironic, just like the Alanis song. Associating life with an Alanis Morissette song has got to be Mia’s influence. Oh God. My friends are brainwashing me!

“I’ll go but only to keep an eye on you two bitches.” She smiled at us and tugged on both our arms. “Now come on, you sluts have to find the skankiest lingerie imaginable.”

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you girls.” Our attention quickly turned to an elderly woman who had been sitting outside her house. She sat hobbled over on an old rocker, looking wrinkled and forgotten.

She looked like stereotypical old witch, like the one from Snow White. The crooked nose, white raggedy hair, it all screamed bad news. I turned to look at my friends to see what their reactions held. If they looked freaked out, I guess I knew I should be too.

“Oh really? Is that because I’m going to be eternally damned if I sleep with a man before marriage? Hate to break it to you but if your beliefs are true, I’m already headed there.” Adrianna put her hands on her hips and grinned defiantly.

“Oh sweetheart, neither Justin or Demario respect either of you yet.” The old woman turned her gaze to meet my eyes. “Don’t fall into the trap.”

“Um what?” Adrianna’s eyes widened in shock. She turned around to stare at Mia and I who looked just as dumbfounded. How the hell did this woman know that we were hanging out with Justin and De? Had she overheard us or had this news gotten out to the press?

FUCK! My Dad was going to kill me if he found out.

“You heard me, Adrianna. Tonight will kick into motion a series of events none of you will be able to foresee.” The woman stood up, leaning forward on her cane for support. The stare she sent our way made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

This woman just seemed absolutely certain of herself and her words. I didn’t know what was going on, but I wasn’t sure if this was just someone fooling around anymore. Was she some sort of fortune teller or was this some crazy person wishing bad on all three of us?

Anything was possible in the Village.

“Events?” Mia looked completely unconvinced and slightly irritated. This woman was kind of being rude, invading our conversation and scaring the hell out of us. “Well, I can foresee an event as well… this one is probably long overdue, it’s your ass being checked into a fucking nursing home and left there, bitch.”

“No need for animosity, you all will be facing enough of that with each other in the near future.” The old woman smiled a nearly toothless grin. “How unfortunate for you though, Amelia, you will take the blame for all the pain. The responsible one let the others fall in the rain, too bad it will all be in vein. What you will gain will make one insane.”

Um, okay… she was talking in riddles and rhymes now? This senile bitch needed to go take a nap and leave us the hell alone. Her words were beyond creepy; I began to tug on Mia’s arm, wanting to leave as quickly as I could. Mia just seemed frozen by the words.

“Sweetie, let’s just go…”  Adrianna called out to Mia softly. That was when the old woman began her next attack with words.

“Oh, Adrianna, you’re fun loving ways will get you into trouble. Soon, my dear, there will be double. The one you love will surely fumble, a child himself unready, you will soon after crumble.”

“What?” Adrianna almost looked like she went pale. The words seemed like they meant something deep, but what? I probably shouldn’t think twice about her stupid words. This was bitch probably wanted money or something just as ridiculous.

That was it! This woman was some 5 dollar psychic trying to make her living by scaring us. That just had to be it. There was no such thing as people who knew the future. I’m a skeptic. I’m sure most sane people are anyway.

The woman stared at me up and down in silence before speaking. “And little lost Leila, the most broken of all, from the top you shall fall. The one you love will surely appall. Humiliation, rage, depression will be your downfall and that porcelain will be mauled. Alone you will be from day till nightfall.” The woman cocked her head to the side and spoke those words so honestly. Such tragic sounding words about me couldn’t be true.

I visibly shuddered at the combination of thoughts and words going through my brain.

“Um… riiiight.” Mia quickly took control of the situation, grabbing onto both Adrianna and I, she began pulling us along. “GET MENTAL HELP YOU CRAZY BITCH!”

Almost running down the street, we walked away from that woman. I took note of the street, Bleecker right off of MacDougal. Yeah, I was NEVER going back there again, and if I absolutely had to, I’d be more than happy to bring my scary ass bodyguard.

“Now that I’m officially freaked the fuck out.” I mumbled and quickly looked both ways before crossing the street. The farther away I got from this lady the better. “Does anyone have any clue what she meant?”

“No, but I wouldn’t stress it. She just seems like a miserable old witch who enjoys tormenting pretty girls.” Mia stated quickly and bit down on her lip. Our feet rejoined with the cement, thankfully we were now half a block away from her. Even if she tried to chase us, she would never be able to catch up with us. Her old ass would be hobbling down the street.

“Yep, absolute jealousy, not like I blame her for being jealous.” Adrianna cheesed, trying to lighten the moment. Thank God for the much needed comic relief! I giggled at my two friends.

“Let’s go check out Thompson Street, they usually have wacky stores, and if we don’t find anything there, well we’re just fucked.” I stated with a smile.

“What if I want to be fucked though? Fucked by Demario that is!”

Mia’s hand immediately slapped Adrianna’s arm and all three of us giggled. I loved my friends. I loved our adventures and silly moments like this. I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

**Justin**

I laid back in my bed as Callie expertly bounced up and down on my cock. She was so fucking wet, but I was sure Leila would be wetter. The day I got to smash that pussy would be the day her legs would never close. Well, if that day ever came that is. Till then I’m stuck fucking sluts who will never be her. Who can never even compare to her.

“FUCK THIS PUSSY JUSTIN!” Callie screamed out, knocking me out of my delicious fantasy. Leila lying naked, her legs bent by her shoulders. Her body was laid out perfectly for me, not for any other man. In my dream world, she was mine for the taking.

I’d grip her tiny hips, pulling her closer, making my cock slide deeper inside her. Her tight heat would be enough to make a man lose control. She’d wriggle under me as I’d leave my cock inside her to the hilt. Her sweet moans filling my ears, they weren’t disgusting pornographic screams like Callie or Lindsay would let out. These sweet moans were breathy, feminine noises that only ignited my lust further.

Fuck, I could cum merely from those thoughts.

“Justin! What the fuck?! Where is your head tonight? I want it HARDER!” Callie yelled out in frustration. I couldn’t concentrate on this hot girl tonight. Not when I had the gorgeous blonde on my mind.

Callie was cute though, a hot little red head with legs that seemed like they went on for miles. She was thin, easy to toss around and change positions. That was all I needed a woman for. Fuck conversation and all that romantic bullshit, give me a bitch that’s ready to fuck whenever and wherever I want and we’re all good.

“Bitch, shut the fuck up.” I cursed and grabbed onto her waist, pulling her down with force on my cock. Her scream echoed through the halls along with my cell phone. Of all fucking times for it to ring. I reached over to the nightstand with my left hand, my right still aiding Callie in her movements. “HELLO?!”

“Justin hang the fuck up and finish fucking me already!” Callie sighed out exasperatedly. Stupid bitch should know to shut her fucking mouth. I sent her a fucking glare and reached out to cover her dirty mouth with my head.

“J, you busy?” JC stated. Yeah, I’m fucking busy jackass. I gritted my teeth before answering.

“A little… everything alright?” The faster this conversation was over the faster I could cum.

“Yeah, dude, I just wanted to talk to you about Leila.” Now he had my attention. Sitting up a little, Callie continued to bounce on my dick while my thoughts were glued to the sunshine blonde.

She was just like sunshine, bringing brightness and happiness into my bleak and dark life. Seeing her made me feel like a different person, someone good. I could only imagine what fucking her would be like. Probably like living out the song “Walking on Sunshine”. I grinned crookedly at the mental images of myself skipping down the street after what would probably be wonderful sex with Leila.

“What about her?”

“I saw her Dad today and well, the topic of YOU came up. It wasn’t pretty, J. You need to give up this helping her with her album deal; it’s not going to end well. Noah Jacobs made his distaste for you perfectly clear.” JC’s voice seemed so confident; I instantly became infuriated by his assumptions.

I shoved Callie off my dick, which she loudly protested at. Stupid bitch, I held up my index finger to her face, hoping she’d shut her loud mouth. I didn’t need to draw more attention to the knowledge that I was a complete asshole. I knew that all very well. No need to alert JC of that. It was already pissing me off that he seemed to be siding with Noah Jacobs.

“I don’t give a shit what Noah says.” I replied in a stern tone. “She wants my help so I’m going to keep fucking doing what I’m doing, with or without his blessing.”

“Don’t you even care that this could end up hurting the girl? You’ve made quite clear that she isn’t like other girls, but you happen to be just like other males. This can only lead to a lot of bad shit, mostly because you will never settle down.”

“What can lead to bad shit? That I’m helping her with her music? It’s not like I’m fucking the girl or even planning to.” I shot back defensively, ignoring the perplexed looks Callie was sending my way.

This bitch better not be getting clingy and possessive of me.

“Justin, I’m saying this because you’re my boy, chill. You may not act on your desires, but I can tell that this girl is crazy for you and dying for a move to be made on your part. She’s just a kid, or do you not remember what it was like to be 20?” He spoke sullenly.

I rolled my eyes at the memories of my younger self. Today was not the day for a trip down memory lane.

“Yes I remember.” I snapped. “It’s not my damn fault if she develops a crush, shit happens.” Secretly, I was thrilled that someone else saw that I had been hoping for. I wanted Leila to want me as bad as I wanted her, if not more.

JC huffed condescendingly. “Well, actually it is your fault if you continue to lead her on, and don’t tell me you that don’t. I saw you at the studio, flirting with her every chance you got.”

“Whatever.” Now I just wanted to get back to sex.

“Fucking listen for once, you egoistical prick. You can’t hurt this girl, there are going to be big consequences if you do.”

“Aside from the fact that I won’t hurt anyone, I think I can handle myself.”

“Justin, would you get off the fucking phone?” Callie said impatiently from her spot on the bed next to me. I rolled my eyes at her.

“I can tell you’re busy, I’ll let you go… but just think about what I’m trying to say. Make an honest woman out of her or leave her the hell alone.” Before I could even answer, JC hung up the phone on me.

And he called me the prick?

“So are you done blabbing on the phone? I came here to get fucked and you seem to be distracted by every little thing. It’s annoying.” Callie purred, her hand beginning to rub my chest. If I wasn’t horny, I’d laugh at her lameness.

I pushed her hand off of me and stared at her darkly. Everyone just needed to shut the hell up and do exactly what I said. I’m just a spoiled brat in the end I guess. Everyone has their flaws and getting fame and fortune at such a young age just aided in creating mine.

“Yeah… get on your hands and knees… your getting fucked till you can’t fucking see straight.”

And I kept true to my promise. I always do.

Chapter 6- The Beginning of the End

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end- semisonic “closing time”

*Leila*

Adrianna, Mia and I had spent the entire afternoon of the party priming ourselves. Of course that was normally an easy task, the three of us are naturally beautiful, all in our own ways. I’m not even saying that to be arrogant, most people do have some sort of natural beauty that their personalities helps to bring to life. The three of us together just heightens that attractive factor. Together, we are the perfect person. Wise, innocent, fun loving, all wrapped into one.

My two sisters, not by blood, but still my sisters.

“Now, how exactly are we getting out of the house unseen? Our outfits are not at all inconspicuous.” Mia stated with a heavy sigh. She motioned to her bright pink boy shorts and tight fitted tank top.

She had on the most decent looking outfit out of the three of us. That probably wasn’t a good sign.

“It’s called a trench coat!” Adrianna stated exasperatedly. “You both make too much of a big deal out of things.”

“Um hello… how could we not? We’re going out in bras and panties. My fucking Dad will have an aneurism if he finds out about this.” I put my hands on my bare hips. “Plus won’t it look a little suspicious?”

“It definitely will.” Mia grumbled. “We’re better off jumping out the window then casually walking out the front door. I can see it now, one of your brothers or even better, your Dad demanding to know where we’re going.”

“Chill the fuck out, Mi.” Adrianna stated and put an arm around my shoulder. “All we have to say is we’re going for coffee or something and we’ll be back early. It’s called lying.”

“They’ll see right through us. This is pointless. We should all just stay in tonight.”

My two friends were bickering back and forth, as I watched feeling helpless. As much as I wanted to go to this so called “panty party”, it wasn’t worth my friends arguing over. I exhaled deeply and fell back onto my California King sized bed. My two friends turned to look at me for a moment before going back to their argument.

I was torn. I wanted to go and at the very same time, I didn’t. Maybe this wasn’t right for me? Maybe Justin wasn’t right for me? He had expectations, ones that I couldn’t meet. He dated models, beauty queens and I was some Rock Star’s daughter, beautiful but inexperienced and ordinary compared to the others. If only I knew if he really wanted me there. If only I knew if he really wanted me.

“Can we just stop arguing for two seconds?” My voice was low; I’d almost thought neither of them heard me. I sat up on my bed and their eyes became fixated on me. “This isn’t worth fighting over.”

“Who’s fighting?” Mia replied quickly. I rolled my eyes at her and crossed my arms over my chest. She quickly shut her mouth.

“We bought our outfits and we took the time to get ready, I don’t know about you guys but I plan on getting wasted tonight.” I stood up defiantly.

I was scared, Terrified even. This night could lead me into watching Justin make out with another girl. That would hurt but it wasn’t like I didn’t know anyway. I was certain that he and that Callie bitch were quite intimate. Justin was a man after all; I couldn’t expect him to be a fucking virgin. He had needs just like I did. It wasn’t his fault that his needs didn’t involve me.

“She has a good point.” Adrianna smiled. “If it sucks we leave early, okay?”

“Alright… truce.”

The two girls shook on their agreement, leaving me to roll my eyes at them. Pulling my long black coat, I noticed how much I looked like a flasher. I laughed at my reflection, wondering if I should let the shyness begin to envelope me. My body was not the ideal, model like look that was popular today. Instead of looking like a 12 year old boy, I had a chest and hips. I mean I wasn’t as curvaceous as a Playboy centerfold, but I had a little something that I was proud of.

But Justin didn’t seem like he liked girls with bodies. He liked the stick thin look. I mean, looking at his track record of girlfriends, that’s what it seemed like anyway. I was probably nothing more than an absentminded little sister type to him. I wasn’t surprised.

“Are you done staring at yourself in the mirror?  We need to make a clean break already” Mia giggled as I ran my fingers through my long blonde waves. Natural blonde at that.

“Yes I am, annoyance of my life.” I shot back smiling. I turned on the heel of my foot and stalked through the doorway.

The three of us looked so funny, carefully making our way down the stairs without even the slightest squeak of the floorboards. All of us in black trench coats, Adrianna stood out the most, she had completed her outfit with black fishnet stockings. Any guy that saw us would just know we were up to no good.  I imagined us as three spies, making our way to a dangerous and deadly mission. Something like Charlie’s Angels.

I snorted at the thought of us battling some bad guys.

“Quiet!” Adrianna hushed me with a silly smile painted on her face. I put a hand over my mouth to silence my laughter. No need to attract my family’s attention. I could almost taste freedom and Malibu Bay Breezes.

We walked down into the living room which was completely dark. No one could stop us now. I beamed, grabbing onto Mia’s arm. She gracefully walked through the living room, knowing exactly where to step to avoid the many sculptures and tables that were present along the way. Unfortunately, I am not as graceful and was unable to keep up with her fast pace.

With a loud clamor, the floor slipped from under me and I fell onto the floor. My father’s Thomas Kinkaide sculpture fell on top of me almost immediately. The breath was knocked out of me and I was left on the floor trying to pull the heavy metal figure off of me. It would have been funny if it weren’t for the paranoid circumstances.

“Help!” I whispered to Adrianna and Mia. Stupid mistake. Adrianna couldn’t control her laughter and keeled over with a loud snort. I sent a glare in her direction before my struggles increased. It was only a matter of moments before one of my brothers or Dad emerged to see what was going on.

“Hold still.” Mia stated soothingly. She desperately tried to lift the heavy sculpture off me but it just seemed too heavy for her. The lights in the living room turned on, it became almost too bright.

“What’s going on in here?” My half brother Aiden asked with a goofy smile. I glared at him.

“Just help me!”

Aiden walked over with an enigmatic smile on his face. The clock was ticking and my chances for escape were growing farther and farther away. With Aiden here, staring at the three of us in trench coats, he’d know something was up. Fucking hell, why couldn’t Kyle have come into the room to see what was wrong?

“Did the floor trip you?” He grinned at me, easily lifting the heavy sculpture off of me. I scrambled to my feet, adjusting my coat.

“Dick.” I retorted, showing off my irritation. Adrianna was giggling at the entire scenario, it sounded more like nervous laughter. Were we going to get caught? Was there going to be repercussions for trying to leave the house in lingerie?

We should have jumped out the window like Mia suggested.

“Where are you girls headed tonight?” He spoke the words the three of us had been dreading. I inwardly cringed. I didn’t like to lie, it made me feel guilty and dirty, but what other choice did I have?

I wanted to see Justin tonight. I wanted Adrianna to get with Demario and more than anything else, I wanted Mia to see that Justin wasn’t as bad of a guy as she believed him to be.

“Just for some coffee.” Mia replied coolly. There was no hint on nervousness on her naturally tanned face. She just smiled brightly at Aiden. He’d never suspect Mia, the perfect, smart female, the responsible one who had never stepped a toe out of line in her life.

“Oh.”

“Yeah maybe we’ll head to my house after for a girly night. Have a Molly Ringwald movie fest.”

Aiden shook his head with laughter. My tattoo and piercing filled brother just smiled, obviously thinking nothing but innocent thoughts of his little sister and her two friends. His honey colored eyes crinkled around the corners as he smiled. Guilt bubbled in my stomach. How could I lie to my brother over a guy? I was so confused, so utterly lost in my emotions. Why couldn’t life just be fair and easy?

“That sounds… interesting.”

“I’m sure you mean dull,” Adrianna piped up, her girly tone only added more to the believable aspect of our story. My half brother saw me as a 12 year old girl; probably still a virgin and innocent in every aspect. He never wanted to believe that I was an adult and that I had “forbidden” needs and desires.

“Yeah you’re right about that,” His laughter boomed. “Leila, just call and let Dad know you’re okay.”

“Okay,” I was barely able to choke the words out. I was starting to believe that having a conscience was a bad thing.

Adrianna dragged me out of the house without another word to Aiden. If he only knew how wrong he was about everything. I wasn’t the little girl everyone was trying to keep me as. I was a grown fucking woman. No one should stop me from doing what I wanted to do anyway. Trust fund or none, I had to start living my life for me. No regrets.

“Well, that was interesting,” Adrianna looked at me and smirked. The three of us headed, rather quickly, to Mia’s automobile. Mia was never flashy; her Dad had to practically force her to drive around in her silver Volvo S60 R. Honestly, I think it was only because our favorite fictional character drove a silver Volvo.

Not to say that wasn’t why I drove a bright yellow Porsche. Mental help was not an option at that point, it was a necessity. No one understood why either of us weren’t driving around in Aston Martins or Rolls Royces. We could afford them, but a fictional characters by the names of Edward and Alice Cullen swayed us the other way. Pathetic. We’re Twilight fanatics.

“I can’t fucking believe we got away with that,” I climbed into the passenger’s seat of Mia’s car. A smile formed on my lips, I hoped it wasn’t too soon to be relieved.

“Yeah neither can I,” Adrianna plopped down in the backseat. “Just drive before our luck runs out.”

Obligingly, Mia sped down the street, her tires making a slight screech as we peeled out. I sat back in the chair, beginning to finally relax. We were going to finally make it to our destination. I made myself lean towards the positive outcomes that this evening could offer. I didn’t want to be negative. Pessimism is far too draining anyway.

Twenty minutes later, we were securely parked in front of Justin’s Upper East side mansion. I took a deep breath, staring at the splendor that was his home. I’d passed by before, a stalker move I know, but I was curious. I wanted to know everything there was to know about him. Obviously I was becoming obsessed with him.

His home was seemed like it perfectly suited him. Nestled within a gated community, it showed how desperate he was for privacy. The warm tones of the home seemed to match his personality, warm and welcoming to those he cared for.

I wanted to be the one he cared for. The one he dreamed of late at night and then woke up to. Why couldn’t I be the perfect girl for him? With these thoughts, I began to get angry at myself. I needed to stop being so fucking immature.

Justin didn’t want me and that needed to stop fucking plaguing me. He was just some guy, as Mia put it. I was fawning over him like a 12 year old girl with her first crush. It was disgusting. I needed to get a grip, and if I didn’t, I was going to ask someone to slap me across the face. Maybe that would knock the water out of my brain.

“Are we going to stand out here all night? It’s kind of cold.” Mia complained, wrapping her arms around herself. I guess I didn’t realize how long I had been staring at Justin’s house, another stalker move on my part.

“Yeah sorry.” I hid my face, knowing I’d turn a deep shade of crimson soon enough.

Adrianna pulled me along to the front door. I could hear a popular rap song blaring from the radio. The party had already started and Justin wouldn’t even notice us. That was probably for the best though. It’d be more proof of what I already knew.

“Would you calm down already?” Adrianna squeezed my hand reassuringly. I weakly smiled at her and nodded my head.

Amelia’s tiny fist knocked on the front door. It echoed loudly in the tiny front hall we were standing in. For a split second, I thought the knocking was the sound of my heart, madly pumping in my chest.

“HEY!” Justin opened the front door with a Heineken in his hand. A grin was on his already beautiful face. His eyes looking droopy and tired still shone as bright as ever. A real smile formed on my face. He was drunk. He was possibly the cutest drunk I’d ever seen. “Come on in girls… and please take the coats off ASAP! There are no clothed people in this house.”

Mia turned to me and scoffed incredulously. I could tell that she hated him already. I shrugged at her before turning to stare at Justin. It was the first time that I noticed what he was wearing, rather what he wasn’t wearing. Justin seemed so comfortable in his black silk boxers and nothing more. I’d seen his perfectly sculpted abs in pictures but seeing them in person was a completely different experience.

I tried not to gawk at his perfection, but I couldn’t control myself. I followed the trail down his washboard stomach, taking in every crevice of his perfectly chiseled abs down to the slight V shape that ended right above his boxers. If I was a cartoon character, my eyes would be bulging out of my head and my tongue would be out and salivating.

“Not a problem.” Adrianna smiled sweetly.

 Adrianna wasn’t shy about walking into the house, pulling off her coat and revealing her risqué outfit. She had confidence, something I was lacking at the moment. Her bright red lingerie set had every man in the room staring at her. Demario stared at her from the corner of the room, licking his lips. I just silently giggled. I knew they’d hook up by the end of the night.

Adrianna’s tiny, sheer corset made her already full chest look even better. How the hell could I take off my jacket after THAT?

“Girl you look fucking hot!” Justin exclaimed to Adrianna, the same cocky grin stayed on his face. “De! You fuckin see this girl? If you pussy out and don’t make a move I fucking will!” Demario laughed and shot a warning glance Justin’s way. I doubted I was supposed to see that though.

FUCK ME! How was I supposed to take my coat off after he had seen Adrianna? When there were dozens of beautiful girls walking around, probably better suited for him. I bit nervously at my lip as Mia shoved me inside. I stumbled but caught myself on the doorframe.

“No entrance unless you in your panties.” Justin looked at Mia and I with what looked like anticipation. He probably wanted to see Mia though; he couldn’t possibly be excited to see me in my underwear.

“Alright… I’m Mia by the way.” Mia said politely. She pulled her trench coat off and glided into the room. Of course, she had to cover up the most she could. She rocked a lace, hot pink tank top and matching boy shorts.

“Nice.” Justin commented, eyeing her up and down, before speaking to me. “Are all your friends hot?”

“Yeah…” I mumbled shyly. Both Adrianna and Mia shot a glare in my direction before yelling at me.

“LEILA! Would you get in here already?!” Adrianna smiled goofily at me, her hand around a bottle of corona. Demario was slowly inching his way towards her. I guess Justin’s words were making him step up his game.

“I’m coming…” I untied the belt to my coat and slid my arms out. Justin was standing there watching me, his arms crossed over his chest and a grin that was slowly spreading across his face with each of my actions. I began to blush like an idiot, which he couldn’t see thanks to the dim lighting of the room.

This was the moment of truth.

**Justin**

Leila was shy, almost embarrassed to take off her coat and reveal her perfect body. This just made her all the more perfect in my eyes. Bitches were usually anxious to get naked for me, but Leila was almost afraid of my reaction. Shit. How could she be afraid of my appreciation of her beautiful body?

Her coat slid off her shoulders slowly, as if she was teasing me. I knew better. This was unintentional teasing, the best fucking kind. Her innocent expression was turned towards her two friends for what looked like moral support. Finally, she freed her body of its clothed confinements and showed me what I had been aching to see since I had first met her.

I’ve seen a lot of girls naked, in their underwear and in a bathing suit. That shit doesn’t really faze me much, but looking at Leila, smiling timidly in the hottest outfit I had ever seen, I literally melted. She always has this fucking affect on me though; she made me feel like I was 13 years old and staring at a girl for the first time. It was sickening how sprung I was on her. I fucking barely knew her either.

“Damn.” My breath caught in my throat as I stared at her body, nothing had prepared me for how tight her body was. I knew if I didn’t look away soon enough, my quickly hardening cock would become noticeable. It’d probably freak her out too. I couldn’t have that.

But she was perfect. Her black bra showed more cleavage than I should have been allowed to see. Rhinestones or some shiny things were scattered along the bottom of the bra. Strings fell across her stomach, dancing at the slightest of movements. It took all the strength I have not to rip off her little bra and let my hands explore her breasts and perfectly flat stomach.

“She looks hot doesn’t she?” Adrianna giggled and elbowed me in the side. I nodded like an idiot while Leila half smiled at me.

“You don’t have to say yes to make me feel better.” Leila replied in a low voice. Was she blind? How could she not see how beautiful she was?

She stood there stripped and vulnerable, a way she didn’t have to be. A way she shouldn’t have been. It was inconceivable that someone so beautiful could believe they had a single fault.

“Are you fucking crazy?” I stared at her while Adrianna and Mia giggled, walking towards my bar. They had the right idea. A few drinks would loosen this girl up. “You are beautiful. I don’t know how you don’t see that.”

“Thanks.” She looked up at me and smiled.

“Come on… you need to catch up on drinks.” I grabbed her hand bravely. I must have been completely whacked to of not thought of the repercussions that holding her hand and telling her she was beautiful might entail. Still, I didn’t care. “It’s time for some fucking tequila shots!”

Leila and I are standing by my bar, a pretty brunette on my other side. She’s one of JC’s friends, I’m sure. One I probably fucked and didn’t look twice at. I knew she was trying to get my attention too. I wanted to laugh in her face.

I messily poured the Jose Cuervo tequila into the shot glasses, looking over at Demario and grinning. His arm was wrapped around Adrianna pulling her tightly to him, it was as if he was telling me, “HAHA YOU CAN’T HAVE HER!”. I just smiled at him and shook my head, amused.

Passing the important people a shot glass and purposely ignoring the brunette next to me, I waited to drink mine. Watching Leila down the shot was way too much fun. She made the cutest face as she desperately tried not to spit the tequila out.

“Oh come on, Lei! I taught you better than that. Swallow it all!” Adrianna exclaimed with a giggle. I smirked at the hidden meaning behind her words; the words that almost made Leila choke her liquor.

“She’s right, Leila. Swallow it all.” I taunted with a smirk on my face. I watched her swallow the liquor hard, sending a glare at Adrianna. “Now take another, you have a lot of catching up to do.”

“You’re going to give me liquor poisoning!” Leila giggled as I filled up her shot glass with more tequila. She rolled her eyes and laughed at me, readily downing the hard liquor. How could I not be crazy for a girl that can handle her liquor?

“Naaa, girl you are going to be fine.” I put my arm around Leila, much to the dislike of the brunette next to me. She huffed in aggravation and walked over to JC, who of course, was the only fully dressed person at the party. What a loser.

“Well, if I’m puking all night, you’d better be holding my hair back.”

“Of course I will! I’m not that heartless you know.” I said in mock horror. Leila rolled her eyes at me and giggled, playfully slapping my arm.

“Sure your not. I bet you’d purposely get me drunk so you could laugh.” She pouted.

“If I purposely got you drunk it wouldn’t be to laugh.”

FUCKING LIQOUR! Shit. Being drunk wasn’t doing much for my resolve. I wasn’t supposed to get involved with this girl. As much as I wanted to beat my head into the wall, I just couldn’t stop caring about Leila. I was addicted to flirting with her and making her giggle. Was the liquor screwing with my head or did I really want to try something with her? And I meant that not in just a physical way. I wanted to have HER. Everything she had to offer, physically, intellectually… I wanted it all and then some.

But could I actually go through with it and keep her? Could I break away from Justin Timberlake, the asshole playboy and be a man for once? I wasn’t sure. I just knew that I didn’t want to hurt her. Hurting her could quite possibly be the worst thing I could ever do.

“What?” In the midst of downing her shot, Leila stopped and stared at me stunned. I merely shrugged my shoulders and turned on the Timberlake charm once again. I had to distract her before I could make up my mind.

Chapter 7- Close Yet Far

“We die in this moment
And I don't want to wake from this
I can barely breathe
Suffocating on what you gave me

Take me, pull me all around
Break me, I'm yours” – “This Moment” – In This Moment

**Leila**

Justin Timberlake has to be the most confusing man I’ve ever met. He flirts with me one second; making my mouth drop to the floor and the next he’s treating me like one of his buddies. I don’t fucking understand him and I’m about to give up trying. As hot as he is, I’m not about to stand around and wait for some guy that plays games.

“J, where the fuck is the Patron... you know I don’t drink that Cuervo pussy crap like you do.” Demario huffed. The four of us, Justin, Demario, Adrianna and I were sitting poolside. It was a little chilly for the pool, but I knew Adrianna and I were ready to jump in given the word.

Seeing us dripping wet would give these guys heart attacks.

“Bro, the Cuervo is for the ladies… you know they can’t handle Patron.”

“UH… NO!” Adrianna laughed loudly, dismissing Justin’s words. “Trust me, I can handle my liquor.” Demario smirked at her with admiration. It was obvious that he had never met a girl like her before.

“And you Miss Leila? Can YOU handle your liquor?” Justin grinned at me. I wanted to melt right there. His slightly crooked smile had my heart beating out of my chest. How could someone make me feel like this?

“If I pace myself, I can.”

“Pacing yourself is boring. It’s all about getting piss drunk.” Justin laughed and shoved a pink colored drink in my hands. I eyed it nervously before looking at Adrianna who smiled and nodded at me. “Don’t worry it’s not poisoned.”

“I know THAT!” I said with a giggle. Getting drunk would mean loosening up, but would loosening up mean embarrassing myself and revealing my feelings for Justin. I don’t think I could handle the consequences that went along with speaking the mortifying truth.

“Then drink up.” The beautiful blue eyed man pushed the glass cup to my lips. How could I fucking say no now?

My lips curved against the cold glass and the sweet liquid seeped into my mouth. I decided at that moment that if I embarrassed myself, I’d blame it on the liquor. No one could really hold that against me. Besides, if I tried to molest Justin, well he had it coming for looking that fucking hot.

“Good girl.” Justin beamed at me as I swallowed half of the contents of the glass. I set it down on the table with a lazy smile.

“Can I ask what I just drank?”

“A cosmopolitan… cause you look like a cosmopolitan model!” Justin sang. My eyes locked with Adrianna as we recalled Justin singing in the studio. I kicked her under the table so she wouldn’t start laughing. Her laughing would equal me laughing and that was not a good equation!

“Isn’t that your song lyrics?” I smiled, trying to hold my own laughter in.

“You remembered them?” Justin asked, slightly taken back. I guessed he was impressed that I had paid so much attention to what he did. If he only knew how MUCH attention I actually paid to him.

Adrianna just bit her lip to hide her laughter. Bitch. I went to kick her again but ended up nailing Demario in the leg. He shot me a confused look and reached down to rub his leg. I blushed with embarrassment and quickly downed the remainder of my Cosmo.

“How could we forget?” Adrianna replied with a wide grin on her face. I giggled a little and covered my mouth with my hand, hoping they’d blame the alcohol for my giddiness.

“You two smiling and laughing already and we ain’t even blazed yet… shit.” Demario shook his head and laughed. I watched him as he carefully pulled a small plastic baggy from his pocket and a strawberry philly.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Call me a fucking prude but I had never smoked weed in my life. Was this like smoking a cigarette? I watched as Demario emptied the insides of the philly cigar into the garbage.

“Ah! I haven’t smoked in a minute. What kind do you guys have?” Adrianna perked up. FUCK! I didn’t know she smoked! Now I was going to look like the only idiot if I did this wrong.

“You smoke? I thought you were supposed to be a good girl.” Demario teasingly scolded her, a sly smile on his face as he sifted through the contents of the baggy and poured it onto the paper.

“A good girl? No.” She laughed a little looking over at him, her eyes seemed darker. “You’d be surprised at some of the things I’ve done and can do.”

“Oh really? I’d love to find out.” Demario winked at her and licked his full bottom lip.

The two of them were staring at each other, for what seemed to be minutes. I was convinced that they were going to hook up right then and there. Actually, I was hoping for it. Demario shifted closer to Adrianna and placed his arm over the back of her chair. It was obvious that he could care less about rolling the blunt, all he wanted was Adrianna.

I felt this indescribable need to give them their privacy.

“Um hello… before you two get all up on each other, can we smoke?” Justin huffed impatiently. He was staring at Adrianna and Demario with what appeared to be jealousy. Whoa, why was he jealous? Did he like Adrianna or something? Shit, now I was getting jealous!

I sent a “SHUT THE HELL UP!” look at Justin which he seemed to ignore.

“Don’t get your panties in a bunch, asshole.” Demario rolled his eyes. “You can roll this shit yourself… I’m busy.” He turned to stare at Adrianna with a smile tugging on the corners of his lips. It was obvious to every person in the vicinity that they wanted each other. Tonight would not be complete until they fully had each other.

Adrianna was a lucky girl; she was getting attention from the man she was crushing on. She must have been on cloud nine. I wanted to know what that felt like!

Justin continued to roll the blunt with expertise. He knew what he was doing and I wasn’t sure if I should be turned on by it or if a red flag should be raised. Sure, pot wasn’t a major drug, but I grew up learning that it was the gateway drug. I liked Justin though and I trusted him as well as Adrianna. I pushed away all the stupid preconceived notions of everything.

I should be fucking happy anyway; I was hanging out with the man I adored. Whether he felt the same was irrelevant.

“You ever smoke before Leila?” Justin ran the lighter over the blunt, in what I assumed was a finishing motion. I didn’t care to ask too many questions. I didn’t want to look like an idiot.

“A couple of times.” I lied. I was grateful that Adrianna wasn’t paying attention because she would have blown up my spot.

“I bet you’ve never had Afghani before… this shit’s gonna get us fucked up.”

“Nice.” I commented and bit my lip. Justin lit the blunt and inhaled deeply. He looked so perfect, sitting in the chair, his bare chest puffing out due to the inhalation.

All I wanted to do was climb on top of him and kiss him in every possible place. These thoughts of what he could do to me and what I wanted to do to him, haunted me. He was so close yet so far away. Unattainable, yet right in my plain view. Being so close to him and not feeling his lips on mine felt inexcusable, it was like a crime that needed to be reversed as soon as possible.

“Aiight… take a hit but take a small one… you’re gonna be on your ass if you do too much too fast… not that you being on your ass wouldn’t be a nice sight.” The blunt was placed in my hands and my eyes widened. I hadn’t even smoked yet and I thought I was high.

“You want to see me on my ass?”

“Preferably with your legs spread…I mean uh… sorry the weeds making my head crazy.”

Okay… WHAT THE FUCK? He did not just say what I think he did. Justin fucking Timberlake did not just hit on me. I had to be fucking hearing things now. I was totally imagining things. I could only put my twisted mind at fault for the vivid delusions my mind was giving birth to.

I placed the blunt around my lips and inhaled, mimicking the way Justin held the smoke inside. Too bad I’m not a pro and I ended up coughing within 2 seconds. A low chuckle emerged from deep within Justin’s throat, I just blushed, and I assumed I was red as a tomato by this point. I passed him the blunt which he attacked again.

“Just cause I’m talking to a fine female doesn’t mean you have to be greedy, J.” Demario snatched the blunt from Justin’s hand and inhaled sharply.

“I ain’t doing nothing.” Justin smiled innocently, slumping back in his chair. I noticed the music from the party. The echoes of people laughing and enjoying themselves filled my ears. This wasn’t only going to be a night to remember for me, but for a few dozen people dancing and drinking in Justin’s living room.

It finally occurred to me that I had no idea where Mia was. Had she left or had we unintentionally ditched her? As much as I wondered about her, I wasn’t about to get up and go look for her. I took a deep breath and hoped she wasn’t going to be too angry at me or Adrianna.

“So J, I couldn’t help but to hear you flirting with my girl, Leila… do you have a thing for her or what?” Adrianna asked suddenly. My eyes shot open in shock.

“Maybe.”

“What?!” I exclaimed and looked over at Justin. He was fighting a grin as he took another hit. Okay, now he was just being an asshole, did he or didn’t he? Fuck. Why did he have to play these games with me?!

“Here…just smoke.” He handed me the blunt again which I took with a pout that I couldn’t conceal.

We continued passing the blunt around. Most of the talking was coming from Adrianna and Demario, they seemed to really be hitting it off. I smoked a little bit more but I was quickly starting to feel light headed. I leaned back in the chair fighting a lazy smile. Why should I be smiling when I felt like shit?

“C’mere girl… I wanna try somethin’.” Demario licked his lips and pulled Adrianna onto his lap. That was enough to knock me out of my temporary gaze.

“No sex in front of virgin eyes.” Justin goofily warned. I rolled my eyes and laughed.

“Speak for yourself.”

It was his turn to be shocked now. I glanced at Adrianna and grinned slightly.  She giggled under her breath and shot an amused look my way before she turned to face Demario.

“You’re not a virgin?”

“Um no…why, are you?” I teased him. Demario and Adrianna both burst out laughing. I guess my words ruined a perfect opportunity for the two of them to kiss. I felt bad, but I knew that it wouldn’t be the last chance for them.

“Yeah, he actually is… sorry bout that, Lei… I’ll find you a real man who knows what he’s doing though.” Demario commented. I looked over at Justin and noticed the anger etched on his face.

I was confused to put it in simple terms. Did he like me or was this his high/drunk buzz talking? Men, especially Justin Timberlake are so fucking confusing. I didn’t want to deal with these stupid games, I was 20 years old. High school was long over. These petty games were annoying and I was not about to wait around for some guy to make a move.

If I kept repeating that to myself maybe I’d believe it.

“You don’t have to find her anyone. Shut your face, De.”

Demario chuckled again before taking a long drag of the blunt. He held in the smoke for a moment and then pressed his lips to Adrianna’s. Her mouth instinctively opened against his and the smoke was exchanged between the two. Adrianna inhaled the smoke, her lips brushing against his with fervor.

My mouth was practically on the floor. The emotions exchanged between the two seemed so intense. There was desperation in their touches. It was like the both of them had wanted each other for years and this was the moment of truth. The anticipation for the perfect moment was well worth it.

Adrianna’s hands roamed up and down his rock hard abs. She knew exactly what to do to drive him crazy and make her crave him more. Obviously, Demario wasn’t used to not being in control with women. He made all the moves and this was all new to him. Adrianna on the other hand, was eating up the control she had over him.

I didn’t blame her for loving the control; she had a gorgeous, half naked man at her disposal. Not to mention, that half naked man was built like a god. He was everything Adrianna wanted in a guy, goofy, hot, talented. Her next move stunned me.

Suddenly, she stood up, exhaling the extra smoke from her mouth. Extending her hand to me, she beamed brilliantly.

“Come on girl, let’s go dance.”

WAS SHE INSANE? She had Demario at her mercy and by the look on his face, he was not at all happy with the little game she was playing. I smiled back at her, wanting to laugh at the noticeable annoyance on his face. I saw him adjust his blue plaid boxers with what sounded like an accidental groan.

Adrianna was my new hero.

**Justin**

I was standing in the corner of my living room with a beer in my hand. My eyes were glued to Leila and Adrianna, dancing around to “The Jump Off” by Lil Kim booming through my Bose speakers. I licked my lips, my eyes obviously focused on Leila. Her hips were shaking from side to side as she and Adrianna grinded.

I tried to pretend I was unfazed by the way Leila danced, but that was complete bullshit. Her body was moving along with the little tassels on the bottom of her bra. It was the first time I noticed that she had a belly button ring. Some people say that piercings like that are “soooo nineteen ninety-nine” but this one seemed to fit Leila. It was cute and drew attention to her perfect stomach.

If I stared at her body forever I think I’d never get bored. Every curve seemed perfect, nothing was out of proportion. When people said there was no such thing as perfection, they obviously hadn’t seen Leila Jacobs.

I licked my bottom lip and chugged down my beer. I was losing control of my sense of right and wrong, something I should have held on tight to when coming in contact with Leila, but I was in too deep. Just knowing she wanted me was enough incentive to go over and put shit into motion.

“The two of them are fucking teases…” Demario spoke from next to me. I barely acknowledged him, but I knew by the tone of his voice that a grin was on his face. “Don’t pussy out anymore… make a fucking move on her dude. Girls like that don’t wait around.”

“I know.”

“So fucking do something.”

“I am… I’m just testing the waters… I want to get to know her first.” I said with honesty. I almost surprised myself.

“That’s not like you at all…”

“I know dude, I know. It scares the shit out of me.”

Demario laughed and put his hand on my shoulder. “At least it’s a hot girl that’s got you sprung and not some ugly, nasty bitch. It could be a lot worse.”

I rolled my eyes and let out a short laugh. Weed made me so fucking lazy that I was barely standing on my own. The wall was supporting my weight, without it I’d be on my ass on the floor.

So much had shocked me about Leila. First, she wasn’t a virgin, which I was thankful for. I’m not good with de-virginizing girls. They tend to get crazy or something afterwards, probably cause my skills are just so damn good. Haha, no seriously, I just either hurt them because I don’t fall as quickly as they do or I just can’t be there for them emotionally. It’s hard for me to open up to a girl. Girls generally just don’t understand why we men aren’t open fucking books like they are.

The second shock Leila gave me was how she claimed she smoked weed before. Part of me thought and still thinks that she was lying out of her ass. She’s too much of a good girl to do things like that, and the way she inhaled made me laugh. The girl seems to want to please me, its not fucking difficult.

I don’t want to corrupt her though. Corrupting her innocence happens to be one of my biggest fears. Leila’s this good girl and I’m well, not so much. I lost my good qualities years ago, I guess fame did that to me.

“Haha… well I’d stay here and pussy out with you… but I actually plan on getting with the woman I like… so later. Enjoy having blue balls for the rest of the evening.” Demario patted my shoulder with a grin on his face. That asshole quickly walked over to Adrianna and Leila, breaking up their sexy little dance.

His arms immediately outstretched to grip Adrianna’s waist. He pulled her into his arms and began to slowly dance with her.

If this wasn’t motivation, I don’t know what was. I finished the last of my beer and set the glass down on an adjacent table. Just as I began to creep closer to Leila, my best fucking friend Trace grabbed her from behind and began dancing with her. My eyes narrowed when I saw my best friend grinding with the girl I wanted.

Oh, this was not about to happen. Trace was more of a dick then I was when it came to girls. He’d hurt Leila and as fucked up as it sounds, I’d rather be the one to hurt her then him. At least I cared about her. Trace was my boy and all but he didn’t give a shit if a girl was innocent or not, he’d hurt them without a second thought.

That alone was the push I needed to take what should be mine.

“What did I tell you bro?!” Demario laughed from across the room, his arms wrapped around Adrianna. She was too busy rubbing her perfect body against his to notice my anger or Demario’s amusement. My forehead wrinkled in frustration. Trace was not going to have the girl I wanted.

I walked through the crowd of dancing people, pushing off girls who thought it was absolutely necessary to grope me and throw themselves at me. Ha. None of them were her. I shoved a couple apart, I’m pretty sure they were JC and Mia but I didn’t care to look. I was only growing angrier at the sight of Trace with his hands roaming down Leila’s stomach.

“Yo… Trace… back off.”

“What?” Trace gawked at me.

“You heard me… back off. She’s with me.”

“I am?” Leila lazily giggled, cocking her head to the side cutely. She only got cuter when she was high. She wasn’t annoying and loud like most girls were, she was cute and demure. I guess I liked that the most about her.

“If you want to be that is.” I licked my bottom lip and smiled at her.

“I do.” She stepped away from Trace and closer to me. Luckily, Trace wasn’t too annoyed. He walked up to another random party girl and began dancing. All was well in the universe.

“Good.” I pulled Leila into my arms, my hands resting on the small of her back. I smiled at the thoughts of how quickly I could rip off her panties and bra. Fortunately self restraint was on my side for now.

“So let’s get something out in the open then, Justin… do you or don’t you like me?”

My hips were pressing against hers and I’m sure she could feel my raging hard on pressing against her. I grinned at her when I noticed a light pink flush in her cheeks.

“Obviously I do.” She giggled as our bodies rocked against each others to a reggaeton song. I think it was Daddy Yankee or something, I wasn’t paying enough attention to anything else to care though. Leila captured my complete attention.

“I’m glad to hear that because I really like you too.” Her hot breath was against my neck.

Leila was intoxicating all my senses. Fuck the weed and the liquor, Leila was what was inhibiting my senses. She was what made me crazy. With her, I felt things and acted a way I never thought I could. I liked feeling this way, as scary as it was.

“How much?”

“Probably more than you like me.” She sighed. I shook my head and laughed at her ignorance.

“That’s very doubtful. You’ve had me in the palm of your hand since our conversation about snack foods.” More honesty from me, if my Mother knew about this, she’d be in her glory. She always said I needed to find a nice girl to change my ways. But would I actually be ready to change? Could I change? Not to call my Momma a liar, but I wasn’t so sure.

“That’s good to know.” She turned so her ass was pressing against my dick. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This girl was most definitely going to be the death of me.

Soft, wet kisses were placed along her shoulder blade. I wanted her to feel tingles down to her toes. I wanted her panties to get so wet that she’d toss and turn all night, touching herself, wishing that I could give her that release she needed. Of course, I would do that, but not yet. I’d take it slow and then when we finally fucked, she wouldn’t know what hit her.

That moment was so close yet so far away.

Chapter 8 – Toxic

“With a taste of your lips
I'm on a ride
You're toxic, I'm slipping under
Taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you
Don't you know that you're toxic
And I love what you do
Don't you know that you're toxic”- Britney Spears

**Leila**

By one AM, my head was spinning. I guess I’m not used to drinking so much and the smoking just led me to feeling lightheaded. Still, as I continually and probably sloppily danced with Justin, grinding my body against his, nothing else mattered. I didn’t want to stop dancing with him; I was so afraid that this moment would end and I would be stuck remembering this perfect moment.

“You want another drink, girl?” Justin whispered in my ear. His hot breath on my neck sent a wave of tingles throughout my body. All he had to do was breath on me and I melted in his hands. No one had ever had that affect on me before. It scared me.

“Yeah… water this time though.”

“Water? You can’t drink water at a party.” He licked his lips and smiled at me.

I wondered if he knew how the simplest of his movements affected me. When he spoke to me, I felt like I was putty in his hands. When he touched me so softly, I thought that I might die of anticipation. I’ve never wanted anyone the way I wanted him. The thought of his naked body pressed against mine sent a rush of wetness in my panties. Why did I have to be so sprung on someone who was clearly out of my league?

“Then maybe something light… like a Midori Sour or something.”

“A Midori Sour? That’s a bitch drink.”

“I think I should take it easy unless you want me passing out on your living room floor.” I replied with a playful smile on my lips.

“That’s all it takes, huh?” Justin laughed, pulling away from our dance. It seemed like we had been rubbing our bodies against each other for the last hour. I wanted more than just to dance, I wanted him to kiss me already for starters!

“Sadly, yes.” I giggled, watching as he pushed JC off a bar stool and offered me the seat. I shook my head in amusement and looked over at JC who looked stunned. He had been conversing with someone and seemed really into it. I felt a little bad but I still couldn’t help but laugh, JC’s face was priceless. “Sorry JC.” I sat down as Justin walked behind the bar and went about getting the drinks ready.

He looked so hot as he rummaged through the bottles on the shelves; all eyes were always on him. Most of the girls in the room had glared at me as they watched me capture his attention. None of those stupid girls knew the confusion that went along with that. I over think things but it is my way of protecting myself; for preparing for the worst and best in every situation. I hate to be taken by surprise.

“It’s okay, mama. As long as it’s for you and not this jackass right here.” JC grinned and patted my shoulder. Mia was sitting to the left of me and she actually seemed to be enjoying herself with JC. I was betting on her running for the nearest exit within twenty minutes.

“Fuck you.”

“Clever, Justin. Did you come up with that all by yourself?” Mia laughed with JC. Justin pouted sadly at me as he poured coca cola into a plastic glass.

“You guys are asses. A match made in heaven,” I smirked, staring Mia straight in the face. She quickly turned a bright pink and turned her head away from me. She was definitely going to kill me for that comment.

“As are you and Justin… the two alcoholics… how sweet,” JC retorted. I rolled my eyes at him but secretly watched Justin’s reaction. He smirked at JC and passed me the red Dixie cup.

“That’s right… you guys don’t know about that.”

I took a sip of the liquid, not sure what to make of Justin’s statement. I greedily chugged down the liquid not even bothering to see what it was. My throat was dry as a desert. Fucking alcohol always made me thirsty. Before I knew it, the cup was almost empty and I was left with a weird aftertaste in my mouth. What the hell had I just drank?

“Relax there!” Justin laughed and walked out from behind the bar with his own drink in his hand. “You drink like a fish.”

Looking inside the cup, it seemed like it was just ordinary soda. I glanced up at Justin who was watching me curiously. I probably looked like I was off the wall, but I didn’t care. I sniffed my cup and then looked up at him incredulously.

“You put liquor in my coke?!”

“Yeah, it’s rum.”

“But…gah!” I pouted at him. “You really do want me on my ass tonight, don’t you?”

“Nah, you’re just extra cute when you’re drunk.” He reached his hand over and caressed my cheek. My eyes closed at feathery touch of his warm skin on mine. I forgot to breathe, all I concentrated on was the way his hand lovingly touched me.

Lovingly… God I could only wish…I could only dream.

“Okay, I’m going to vomit now.” Mia’s voice forced me to open my eyes to Justin’s face. He was smiling at me, not paying attention to anyone or anything going on around him. I had his undivided attention.

I had a distinct feeling in my stomach, one that you get with your first crush in middle school. My stomach was filled with butterflies and I had the urge to giggle. I’m sure he could see the affect he had on me because his smile seemed to grow wider. If his cockiness didn’t come with good reason, I would have definitely deflated his ego.

But then again, that would still be lying. Everything about him, not only his looks had a crazy affect on me. His personality, his mannerisms, everything that made him uniquely Justin was what I liked about him. I couldn’t get enough of him.

“Come on… let’s go outside and leave these losers to their drinks.” Justin winked at me and once again took my hand in his. He pulled me along to the yard and now I was nonstop smiles. He was acting so much like a boyfriend. Could that be where our relationship was headed to? I couldn’t obsess about that when we had barely kissed!

I turned around and smiled at Mia and JC before the door closed behind us. We walked to his freeform shaped pool which was lit by small floating candles. If I wouldn’t have known better, I’d think he was gay or had a wife. The cute feminine touches throughout his house seemed nothing like him. Then again, I was still getting to know who he really was.

“Wanna go in the pool?”

“Hell no! The water looks cold.” I pouted and leaned over to look into the pool that looked very deep. I could barely see down to the bottom.

“Okay okay…I don’t think it’s a good idea to lean over then if you’re drunk.” Justin chuckled and grabbed a hold of my hips. He pulled me closer to him and grinned. “Although it would be funny to see you fall in.”

“Oh really?” I raised my right eyebrow defiantly and giggled. “If I were to fall in… I’d pull you in with me.”

“So then you can’t fall in.” My back was facing him when he pulled me closer. I was cradled in his warm embrace, safe from the chill of the cool spring breeze. I leaned my head back against his chest and tilted my head up so I could see his perfect face. “Unless I jump in with you.”

“Oh Jack… I mean Justin… you jump, I jump right?” I giggled lazily caressing his hands that were wrapped around my waist.

“Titanic fan?”

“Maybe… but just a little bit. I have a thing for Tommy Ryan.”

“I don’t know who that is and I’m not going to ask.” He shook his head and laughed at me. I intertwined my fingers with his and sighed happily. “You’d just better tell me that I’m hotter.”

“You want me to lie?” I teased.

Justin looked at me in mock horror, before he edged closer to the pool, threatening to push me in. I was eating up the attention; normally I’d be flipping out at the mention of being thrown in ice cold water in the middle of the night. I’m sure anyone would.

“Nope… just tell the truth or you’re going under.”

I looked up at him and bit on my bottom lip. Flawless. His defined jaw, to his cobalt eyes to his perfect bone structure made me want to throw myself at his mercy. Justin was staring at me intensely, making the answer to his question that much easier.

“You know you are Justin.”

His lips curved into a half smile. “Good… but just so you know, you happen to be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. That isn’t even a line I’m tryin’ to feed you. You are beautiful and you should never forget that.”

The heat rose to my cheeks at his words. Even if he was like other guys, I just didn’t care. Maybe it was my high (which I really wasn’t feeling, I felt drunk and slightly tired but that was it) or drunk talking. All I knew was that my feelings were zeroed into him at the moment we said hello.

“You getting shy on me?”

“A little… I’m just shocked to hear you say that. I’ve been crushing on you since day one and I never thought I’d ever hear you say that I was beautiful or that you liked me… ha, now that I sound like an idiot…”

“You are not an idiot, Leila.” I tilted my head to the side and stared at Justin as he spoke. The movement of his lips and tongue were hypnotizing. “You are intelligent and beautiful and unique….so don’t put yourself down or I’ll take it as you’re fishing for compliments.”

I smiled shyly at him and turned my glance down to the ground. One of his hands that were holding me close to him moved to my face. We stared into each others eyes in silence. I swallowed hard. Would this be the moment of truth? Would I finally know what it felt like to kiss his supple lips?

And what was going through his mind? Justin seemed so calm and collected on the outside. Was his mind racing as much as mine was? I probably should have just enjoyed the moment, but I searched his face and saw nothing but desire for me. Or what seemed like desire for me. I didn’t want to give myself too big of an ego.

“Are you going to kiss me already?” I asked, shocking myself in the process.

Justin laughed, low and sexy. “Impatient, aren’t we?”

“It’s way more than that. I’m desperate for it.” I whispered. We began to close to gap between our lips now, so teasingly slow that I thought I’d die from anticipation.

My lips were tingling and I hadn’t even kissed him yet. I closed my eyes, slightly dipped in his arms as the moment I had been waiting for actually happened. His smooth lips touched mine and all senses left me. His mouth was smoldering hot against my own sent the tingles from my lips down to the tips of my fingertips and toes.

Justin kissed me tenderly, trying to enjoy the moment. Every boy I had kissed in the past had been wild and quickly groped my chest. Justin wasn’t like that, his kisses alone made me fall for him. This particular kiss was sweet, his tongue wasn’t pushing its way into my mouth, it was just… perfect.

He pulled away from the kiss and I realized that I had forgotten to breathe again. I smiled at him knowing that my heart was beating like jackhammer. Thank the stars that he couldn’t hear it.

“Your lips taste like strawberries,” He smiled and kissed my lips again softly. “I like it.” For a third time he kissed me, this time his lips more urgent. I sighed through the kiss, feeling my legs turn to jell-o. If I passed out and looked like an idiot, it would be his fault, not mine.

My lips were parted by his warm tongue. I felt intoxicated by not only the liquor, but him. The taste of his mouth, his hands on my body, his lips on mine. This felt so absolutely right. Our tongues moved around, clockwise and then counterclockwise. His hand that was still on my tummy was lightly tracing patterns with his fingertips.

My panties were pretty much soaked by this point. How humiliating it would be if anyone saw.

He pulled away from the kiss and smirked at me. “I still think we should go in the pool.”

Before I could answer him, I was flying through the air into the semi-cold water. Justin was still holding onto me so the two of us fell in together. My nice lingerie was going to be totally ruined after this, but I didn’t care. Who the hell would care?

“You asshole!” I giggled as I came to the surface, slightly shivering from the cold. I splashed water in his direction. “Haven’t you ever heard of a heated pool?!”

“The heaters broken,” He laughed and swam closer to me. Justin stopped in front of me and pushed my wet, matted hair out of my eyes with a goofy grin. “Besides, you look hot when you’re all wet.”

I was pushed into the wall of the pool which was slightly deep. Instinctively, I wrapped my legs around his muscular torso and half smiled at him. It was my turn to make the move now, I leaned in and pressed my lips against his, hard. My wet, half naked body was pressed into his naked chest and I wouldn’t have had it any other fucking way.

This wasn’t a silly crush anymore. This guy wasn’t unattainable anymore. He was perfect and he was mine for the taking. Justin would be mine. I’d be crushed if he wasn’t.

**Justin**

The night couldn’t get anymore perfect. I had seen the girl I liked in lingerie, I had seen her soaking wet and I had fucking hooked up with her. Her kisses are sweet as sugar. She isn’t kissing me like she’s desperate for me to stick my dick in her, she kisses me like she actually likes me.

It’s amazing how much you can tell about someone through something as simple as a kiss. I learned the hard way that when a girl forces passion and is ready to spread her legs that she’s after something. Whether it be fame by association, money, sex or whatever, people usually have an agenda. But she’s not after any of that, she doesn’t need me for any of that.

Leila is the first girl in years that kissed me for me. Not for the pop star, or the actor, she kissed Justin. That alone just proves to me what I already knew. Leila is a good girl that I can never hurt.

I wrap a towel around myself, drying my body off from jumping in the pool with Leila. I’m going to sound like a pervert but the only fucking reason I wanted to go in the pool was to see her soaking wet with the already constricting material acting like a second skin to her body.

When she wrapped her legs around me in the pool, I thought I might not be able to control myself. I thought I might end up fucking her when neither of us were ready for such a huge step.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, drying off her own body. She stood next to me looking like a picture of innocence. Leila was not innocent, not when it came to fucking kissing.

“I just… whatever is happening with us…I like it a lot and I want to take it slow. I don’t want to rush it and ruin it.”

Taking a hold of my hand, she squeezed it gently and looked into my eyes. Every time she looked at me, the look of trust in her blue-green eyes made my heart soften. For so long I had been cold and uncaring to the feelings of another human being, Leila was opening me up to that. She was making me believe in someone again.

“I don’t want to rush anything either…it makes me really happy to hear you say that. I’ve been wracking my brain for weeks trying to figure out if you actually cared for me. I’m just so glad to finally know.”

I couldn’t help but to grin at her words. This was what I liked about her. She wasn’t conceited; she was so down to fucking earth even as exposed to the business as she was. Leila wasn’t a Paris Hilton or Nicole Richie, she didn’t abuse her Daddy’s money. The girl even tried to be like everyone else by going on to finish college; she was only a semester away.

I respected that and most importantly, I respected her.

“I kind of tried not to like you at first,” I admitted. “I was scared to hurt you…”

“You seem too nice to hurt anyone.”

Her innocence astounded me sometimes. I guess I couldn’t say it was her fault though. She couldn’t know that awful things I had done to females. That was never something I’d want her to know. I don’t think I could handle Leila looking down at me.

I threw my towel onto the lawn chair; the maid would clean it tomorrow morning. Mary was probably going to make me pay her overtime for the mess she’d be cleaning. My parties always got way too wild with me usually in the center of the ruckus. Now it all seemed boring without Leila at my side. I must have been whipped already. How pathetic of me.

“You look tired,” I said, looking at Leila and stroking her face. She automatically yawned at the mention of what she was feeling. Why was I always nonstop smiles with her? Why did I find everything she did to be adorable?

“I’m a little sleepy… drinking always does that to me.”

I should have guessed that Leila couldn’t handle more than a couple of drinks. I seriously doubted that she even drank that much in the first place. I admired her for trying though.

Wrapping an arm around her, I walked forward, pushing open my white French doors. The informal living room was pitch black sans for the sound of heavy breathing. I paused in my tracks and a devious smile formed on my face. Had someone decided to fuck in my house? Haha! I searched the room, dying to know who was getting fucked when I wasn’t, although I knew if I wanted to, I probably could.

“What?” Leila stood on my wooden floor, slightly shaking from the faux cold of my air conditioner. Poor baby. I was going to bring her up to my room and warm her up. Well, not like THAT though.

“Sshh.” I silenced her and continued scouting the room. Noticing my cell phone lying on the top of a glass end table, I picked it up and opened it. The light acted like a flashlight through the dark room. See, I didn’t have to go to college to be clever.

My wrist flicked back and forth across the room until I saw two bodies lying on my suede sectional couch. I knew almost immediately that it was Demario and Adrianna. His plaid boxers definitely gave that away. And if he stained that couch I was going to beat his ass.

The two of them were locked in a heavy make out session, her hands roaming up and down his chest. She was topless and might I say, she had a very impressive chest. They were the right size and perfectly shaped. I literally had to look away and remind myself that Leila was next to me and was probably going to think I was a freak for standing here and staring.

“Is that who I think it is?” Leila asked in a whisper, if I could see her face I knew that her eyes were probably wide as saucers.

I laughed low in response and pretended to look for something to throw at them, secretly, I was hard as hell and this was like a live fucking porn to me. Demario’s mouth was around Adrianna’s nipple suckling on it softly while his other hand was moving in and out of her legs. I was almost angry that he was doing this to her with her panties on. I wanted to see the fucking action.

“Oh God…” Adrianna moaned softly.

“Yeah, that’s right De, work that pussy good before you beat it up.” I thought to myself smirking. That was when something occurred to me. “If I’m not getting fucked no one should.” That was extremely selfish on my part, but fuck it, I never said I really cared much about other people. I knew that De was going to hate me for this, but watching this was wearing down on my self-control. It wasn’t the right time for me to fuck Leila and I needed a distraction, fast.

I grabbed a throw pillow that my Mom had decorated the living room with and chucked it at Demario’s head before clearing my throat. “Excuse me!”

“W-what?” Adrianna looked up in horror. She shoved Demario off her and he rolled right on the floor. Adrianna covered her chest while Leila and I cracked up at the comedy before us.

“You know I have 5 guest bedrooms, De, but you pick my living room to get with this fine ass woman? Where is your head?” I playfully scolded him, ignoring the dirty look he was sending me.

“You stupid prick,” Demario mumbled under his breath and handed Adrianna her corset thing back. Leila and I laughed again.

“Would you go use one of my rooms and fuck properly? God, Demario, I wonder with you sometimes.” I turned and glanced at Leila, winking at her. “Come on, gorgeous, let’s go get you warmed up.”

We walked to the staircase and made our way upstairs. The long hallway seemed endless for some reason, it was probably because I was excited to get Leila in my room. Maybe I had some excitement for what could happen, not necessarily meaning that it was going to.

“I’ll get you some dry clothes and then you can sleep if you want to.” I said and pushed the door open to my bedroom. She seemed to be impressed by it’s size and décor.

“Wow this is really nice.”

I smiled and walked to my dresser, grabbing a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt that hopefully wouldn’t be swimming on her. I handed her the clothes as well as a fresh pair of boxers for me.

“Thanks… I’d let you shower but I don’t think it’s a smart thing to do when you’re drunk off your face.”

She laughed and shook her head with amusement. I took this time to pull off my wet boxers and slipped on my clean ones. I tried not to look at her as she stared at me in shock. This was just a way of giving her a preview of the many things that were to come or should I be a loser and say cum? Haha.

I sat down on my bed trying my best to act nonchalant. “If you want to change in the bathroom it’s in the door on your right.”

“No that’s alright.” She stood at the foot of my bed and pulled off her little bra and panties, a move that fucking stunned me.

Little shy Leila wasn’t so shy? I licked my lips and laid back on the bed with my hands behind my head. If I wasn’t sexually frustrated after watching her flaunt around in next to nothing, seeing her naked was going to fuck with my head. She was so fucking hot, so beautiful. The way her breasts, supple and round stood perky, they looked like they ached for me to grab them and kiss them.

Everything about her body was perfect; she was curvy in the right places, her ass, her tits but toned in her stomach. My cock twitched in my pants, coming to attention at the sight before my eyes. I didn’t bother to play shy with her, I didn’t look away, I stared at her body up and down from her perfect tits to her tiny, shaved pussy.

She pulled on the t-shirt first and then the sweatpants. Leila smiled shyly at me before climbing into the bed next to me. Fucking cock tease. She rested her head on my bare chest, placing a small kiss on it first. I sighed, knowing there was no way that the problem in my pants was going to disappear on its own. I’d have to take care of it when Leila was asleep, which thankfully was almost immediately. I couldn’t sleep with her yet, no matter how tempting that was.

I crawled out from her grasp and covered her with a sheet. I didn’t want to do what I was about to do, but I really felt like I had no fucking choice. Sneaking out from the bedroom, I walked downstairs, back to the party that was still raging. A one night stand would take care of my hard on so I could sleep peacefully in Leila’s arms. I spotted a caramel skinned beauty and made my way towards her.

She was typical looking, not like my Leila, but she would just have to do.

Chapter 9- The Unforeseen Event 

“And how could we quit something we never even tried,
Well you still can't tell me why.
We built it up,
To watch it fall.
Like we meant nothing at all.
I gave and gave the best of me,
But couldn't give you what you need.”

-“Can’t Hate You Anymore”- Nick Lachey

**Justin**

I probably had the worst night’s sleep in my life and that’s saying a lot considering that I fucking spent almost 10 years on the road with *N Sync and on my solo ventures. I’ve been up for days on end, slept on uncomfortable bus and plane seats, tonight took the fucking cake. Having the woman I wanted sleeping next to me was probably the biggest tease of my life. If I wanted, I could probably wake her up and I could take her in every possible way, ultimately claim her as mine.

But I was too scared to do any of it.

I spent most of the night, staring at Leila while I drifted in and out of sleep. She looked so peaceful and angelic as she slept. The sound of her light breathing made my heart flutter. I could get use to sleeping with her like this, I think that was what scared me most of all.

Fucking girls was one thing but actually liking one was a completely different story. I hadn’t let myself get attached to a girl since I was 19 years old, and not to bad mouth Leila, but this only leads to a lot of fucking anguish. I’m not ready for the emotions that come along with dating someone. Heartbreak is not in my agenda. I kissed Leila’s forehead, I wanted to remember everything about last night and this morning. It was probably one of the happiest I had in a long time. How sad.

So, okay, I was gung ho on forgetting about my fears, but maybe that was the alcohol talking. As I watched Leila, so peacefully sleeping on my chest, I felt scared for her and for myself. If we started this, both our hearts were going to be broken, I just knew that. It’s a simple equation, relationships equal pain. I might as well cut our losses and end things now before we got too involved. I’m sure Leila would thank me for it later. I’m not the type of guy she needs to settle down with.

I had fucked up royally and I had no idea how I was going to let her know. Opening up to her would just prove how much of a pussy I was. Was there any other option? I wracked my brain trying to come up with something, anything to make this easier on the both of us. It didn’t dawn on me until later that there probably was no easy way to put out the fire on this, especially when I wanted it so fucking badly.

I decided that it was probably best if I acted like a typical male. If I suddenly became cold with her without any explanation, maybe then she’d hate me and realize the awful truth; that I was no good for her. I wanted to be good for her, but ultimately, I could never give her what she deserved. At least I was man enough to admit that part.

Leila’s eyes were fluttering open, alerting me that she’d soon be awake. There was only so much longer that I could hold her and pretend things were okay. While she slept, maybe I even fantasized that she was my girl. The scenario was planned out in my head; we had thrown a party celebrating that we had just moved in together. Leila of course, got drunk too quickly and ended up passing out midway through the party. A part of me wanted that fantasy to turn into reality someday.

I hated this situation and for certain, I fucking hated myself.

“Hey you…” Leila’s crystal and emerald mixed eyes met mine. She smiled at me and it took all the strength I had to not return it. “What time is it?”

“Eleven.” I replied, trying to sound cold. Thank God for the chances I had to perfect my acting skills. Black Snake Moan and Alpha Dog taught me how to turn on the dramatics with ease. I may not have been the best actor, but I’d be believable.

“Oh my God… I’m sorry…I hope I didn’t mess up your morning.”

“Yeah well… shit happens.”

Leila looked taken back by my words. The venom of my statement stung not only her, but myself as well. “Did you have things to do?”

“Yes, I’m a busy fucking man, Leila. God. I really don’t have time to mess around with fucking teenagers all day.”

She visibly winced and I wanted to get down on my knees and apologize. I was battling with myself. The selfish part of me wanted to just take her and say fuck you to the consequences. The little fucking common sense I had was screaming at me to get this girl as far away as possible. If I cared at all about her, I’d keep my distance.

“Oh… I’m… I’m sorry.” She got off the bed, looking humiliated. I think she might have even looked like she was about to break down and cry. I deserved a fucking award for being prick of the year.

“Yeah, I’m sorry doesn’t help me much. I just lost a grand thanks to a missed studio session.” I stood up and turned my back to her, pretending to busy myself with looking for a t-shirt. The reality was that I couldn’t look at her face while I made her feel like shit. “By the way, you might want to work on your kissing skills; you kiss like you’re eating someone out. Not attractive sweetheart.”

What a fucking disgusting lie I was feeding her. What the fuck did “kiss like your eating someone out” mean anyway? Fortunately and unfortunately, I could think fast on my feet and come up with bullshit fast. Leila could never know that her kiss meant so much to me. She meant so much to me. When did life get so fucking complicated?

“Oh… I uhm… I haven’t had much practice…” I could see her in my head, looking down at the ground, looking embarrassed. Could I just stab myself so I wouldn’t have to continue this conversation? It’d be a perfect solution to the problem at hand. “I’ll leave… if you want me to reimburse you with the money it wouldn’t be a problem.”

HOW THE FUCK COULD SHE BE NICE TO ME WHEN I SAID THAT SHIT TO HER?! I was growing so aggravated, I had to stop my actions and steady myself on my mahogany dresser. This chick was going to give me palpitations or something just as dangerous. Why couldn’t she slap me and tell me I was a prick? Why did she have to fucking make this worse?  Leila was a fucking lady till the end.

“Yeah I don’t need ya money… just get a move on… aiight?” I grabbed a white t-shirt and pulled it over my head. I knew I had to face her when I said my next statement, so I took a moment to compose myself before I turned to stone. “By the way, that shit that happened last night… you know it was a one night thing… right?”

“I do now,” She said quietly. Leila had picked up her lingerie from the floor and cradled them in her arms while she still wore my sweats. She looked teary eyed and upset, my heart broke knowing that I was the reason why she was feeling that way.

“We’ll work on your music and whatever but it’ll be strictly business.” Maybe this was wrong of me, but I knew that I had to see Leila again. Even if she wasn’t ever going to be my girl ( and she definitely wouldn’t be after today), I still needed to have some sort of contact with her. Maybe leave things on a semi-positive note. Yeah, I know, I’m an idiot.

“Yeah I don’t want to waste your time and money.” Leila shot back sarcastically, the firecracker in her made me smile inside. She knew how to handle herself. At least I’d never have to worry about that.

“You’ll be making me more money… but whatever… you know my number and shit. Call me when you’re ready to work without these fucking games.” I rolled my eyes for effect.

Leila just looked at me and let out a bitter laugh. “Doubtful but thanks anyway,” She turned on her heel and walked out of my bedroom. The remorse for my words filled me, even if I wanted to take them back, I couldn’t now. What was done was done.

Leila would never be mine and things were better this way. This fucking game ended badly, but at least it ended. I’d rather her hate me now then be devastated later on. I sighed in devastation of the situation. Leila was most definitely on her way to bad mouth me to every one of her friends, but with every right.

I collapsed back on the bed, burying my face in the pillow that she had slept on. It still smelled of her. It was probably as close to her as I’d ever get again. To my surprise, tears formed in my eyes. It was the first time in years that I had actually cried and it was over a girl I barely even knew. Somehow, she had gotten under my skin and I’d never be the same again.

 Fuck! I held the pillow over my face, wishing the tears would go back into my eyes. I never cried. My fucking dog died and I didn’t even shed a tear. Now of all fucking times and over a girl I was bawling like a bitch? Was I turning soft or something?

Leila Jacobs had gotten under my skin. Before she came along, I never thought I could fucking feel like every normal human being. Was I feeling more than just lust for her? The only thing I could be sure of was that I was completely terrified. No female was supposed to posses me in any way. Was I slowly giving away my heart?

NO! I’m not supposed to care. I’m not supposed to feel guilty. I’m not supposed to have her on my mind anymore. This conversation was supposed to wipe away these feelings, so why was I still obsessing over her?

Fuck Leila, what have you done to me?

**Leila**

I feel like I’ve been walking through a messed up nightmare. The perfect evening lead to the most disastrous and humiliating mornings of my life. I don’t even know how it all started. Things were fine last night, we made out and we cuddled. How did it go from great to this? And when exactly did Justin become such a cold, money hungry bastard?

I took a cab back to my home in silence. I probably should have taken the time to call my friends and see how everyone was doing but I was too wrapped up in what had happened.

How had I fucked up something that hadn’t even began yet? I replayed the evening in my mind, analyzing every word I spoke and every action. What had I done to make Justin grow so cold towards me? I couldn’t have been too clingy; I mean I pretty much let him make all the friggin’ moves.

Wrapping my arms around myself, I inhaled his scent which was imbedded in his t-shirt. I loved sleeping in his arms. I felt so safe. I guess it was stupid of me to think that it’d last. Guys as good looking as Justin never want to settle down and with the experience he has, it must have made him angry that I didn’t put out.

Wait… should I have had sex with him? Would that have made things better?

I slumped my head against my crossed legs and sighed. My inexperience with men fucked me over times two. Not only did I kiss hideously which turned Justin off, I didn’t have sex with him. Strike two for me. Was there a strike three as well?

I tried to pint point the exact time where the evening had turned sour. I was probably blinded by my own emotions because I couldn’t find a single one. It had all seemed so fairy tale esque. What an idiot I was.

“Isn’t it Ironic… don’t cha think? A little too ironic… Yeah, I really do think…” Alanis Morissette’s “Ironic” alerted me that Mia was calling. I rummaged through my purse, wishing that I didn’t have to answer and tell my friends what happened. It was too humiliating to even repeat. “You kiss like you’re eating someone out”, what the hell did that even mean?! What kind of inconsiderate jerk off says something like that, even if it is true?!

GAH! I HATE MEN!

“Hello?” I answered my phone with an automatic grumble to my voice.

“Good Afternoon darling, how’s the horrible hang over I’m assuming you have?” Mia mocked me. I wasn’t in the mood for her sarcastic humor, not when I felt horrible.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt this ugly. Well maybe I have. In seventh grade, my biggest crush was a senior, Ryan Reynolds (yep, the movie star.) He pretty much told me to my face that he didn’t like me. I wasn’t his type because he didn’t date “flat-chested 11 year olds.” Yeah, after that, I prayed every day that I get a huge pair of boobs, which I got. Even if I didn’t get them, that was a problem that could be fixed with a lot of money. I didn’t even know what my issue was now.

“I don’t know.”

“Uh… what’s your issue? Didn’t you just spend the night with the guy you’ve been crushing on for weeks? What’s the problem, Leila?”

“The problem is that Justin pretty much treated me like a one night stand, which is funny because he and I didn’t even have sex. We barely even made out. So I don’t know what the fucking problem is.” I ranted. The cab driver was staring at me with what looked like shock and intrigue. Yeah buddy, I’m not about to make out with you or sex you up. Get a fucking clue. “And Mia, if you even dare tell me I told you so, I’m going to scream.”

“But I did…”

“MIA!” I hissed loudly.

“Alright fine… just come to my place… we’ll talk and figure out what happened. Maybe it was a misunderstanding or something. Guys are insensitive.” Mia said trying to ease my emotions. I wish her words would have worked.

“Excuse me, driver, can you take me to 971 Shell Road? Sorry for the inconvenience.” I said to the driver, who quickly agreed to my request. “By the way Mia, it wasn’t a misunderstanding; he pretty much acted like a colossal dick this morning. He talked about how I cost him money and whatever… it’s a long story and I’m not going to get into it now, we’ll talk when I get to you, alright?”

“Alright… but just relax until then. I’ll call Adri and we’ll have a girls day and pig out with lots of ice cream.” Mia said comfortingly. “But on the bright side Lei, it could be worse, right?”

“No, Mia… it really couldn’t.”

How wrong I was. What a way to jinx myself. Those words were the kiss of death and my lips were pursed, ready to take it on in the form of Justin Timberlake.

**

I got to Mia’s house and I was still internally battling my emotions. Now, I’m not an emotional kind of girl. I don’t get upset easily but what Justin had said to me was cruel and malicious. The words he had spoken to me were like a poison that was slowly hurting me. The words just seemed to crush me little by little.

Simple words were so absolutely… heart breaking. My heart was bruised, maybe even broken and I hadn’t even recalled giving it away. I hadn’t even relished in the feeling that was supposed to be wonderful. I felt so miserable, I guess it was good for me to see my friends, maybe they would slap the common sense back into me.

I stared at the words I had absent mindedly scribbled in my planner. Random poetry about Justin, none of it made sense because I guess we didn’t make sense. I’d probably never be able to make sense of it either. My pen sketched across the top of the page with two words that were true. Almost Lover.

“Excuse me, Miss… the total is twenty three dollars.” The car service driver spoke to me in a heavy Hispanic accent. I smiled slightly, despite the gut wrenching feelings in my stomach. My Mother, God rest her soul, was Cuban, thus making me half Hispanic.

Some of my best memories were sitting with my Mom’s side of the family, eating tamales and drinking horchata. I didn’t think of my Mom often, it hurt too much to recall how devastated I was the day she died or how cold my Dad seemed towards it. I mentally blocked the pain, but at moments like this, thoughts of my Mom were the most comforting gift I could ever ask for. It was like she was here with me when I needed her.

I paid the driver and stepped toward the side door of Mia’s house. Going through the front meant that I’d have to deal with her family, who I loved dearly, but walking in looking like I did was not at all intelligent. They’d call my Dad in a heartbeat and then there would be LOTS of unnecessary questions of why I was wearing men’s clothes.

“Hey slutterella, come in,” Mia smiled at me. “You’re car service took forever… Adri is already here.”

“Yep I am… and I need to tell you every single detail of my most amazing night.”  Adrianna called out to me from her spot on the champagne colored couch. Mia’s entire basement was decorated beautifully. She had an eye for things like this; it was the artist in her, while I was just not so feminine and girly. I’m lucky I can dress myself and match the colors properly.

“At least one of us seems happy about the outcome of the evening and morning…“ I thought to myself, feeling slightly jealous of Adrianna. I forced myself to hide my feelings. She was one of my best friends, I had to grin and bear it because she deserved to be as happy as I wanted to be.

“Spill it.” I quickly walked to the couch with Adrianna. I took off my shoes before I stepped on Mia’s white area rugs. She was extremely anal about keeping them clean.

“Alright… my story is not for the squeamish and the prudes, so prepare yourself bitches.” Adrianna teased with a smile on her face.                                                                                                                  

**Adri’s Story**

After Justin so rudely interrupted us, Demario and I found our way up to a guest bedroom. We stopped in every dark corner to make out and touch. His kisses were amazing guys. You don’t even understand. He was skilled in using his tongue and lips. He’d suck on my bottom lip ever so softly; it was enough to drive me insane.

When Demario and I reached Justin’s guest bedroom, we made sure to lock the door. We both knew what we wanted and we sure as hell were not going to get interrupted. We wanted each other and I knew that I’d be damned if I didn’t get to have him.

We ripped our clothes off of each other, we didn’t bother with foreplay at this point. We were just so desperate to be one. God, it was so sexy. The passion that was going on between us was through the roof. I never thought I could feel so much for one person in such a short period of time. I was just so certain that this was going to be more than one night for the both of us, and trust me it wasn’t my drunkenness talking.

Demario kissed every part of my body, he made me feel beautiful and I believed him wholeheartedly. His touches were dizzying; I stared up at his face, feeling nothing but awe at his good looking he was.  Demario lied between my legs, staring back into my eyes when he finally spoke the words I had been dying to hear.

“Are you ready for me?”

You don’t understand how ready I was. He pushed his cock inside me and I went into shock. He was fucking huge and thankfully he gave me a second to adjust to his massive size. The sex was great, he moved inside me with consideration of how I was feeling. It was probably the best sex I had ever had in my life. Demario fucking Thornton knew exactly how to please a woman so I became putty in his hands. I don’t think I’ve ever moaned so much during sex. I’m kind of surprised I didn’t lose my voice!

When it was all said and done, I wished it could go on forever. It kind of did too. We had sex three more times throughout the night. It’s like I said, we couldn’t get enough of each other. I’m not even saying that in a physical way. After sex, we cuddle and talked. It was just amazing. Most guys don’t even bother to cuddle with a girl after sex but he was sweet like that. I don’t know you guys, I think this is going to be the start of something huge and I’m happier than ever about it.

**

“Whoa… you really were serious about the every detail part, weren’t you?” Amelia joked, Adrianna just stuck her tongue out at her and giggled. My silly friends were too much sometimes. Her story was hot though, I’m sure it was much different and much better experiencing it first hand. Lucky bitch.

“Sorry… I’m just really excited about it. De is a great guy and things seem to be going great for us so far.” She gushed. “We exchanged numbers this morning, we’re actually supposed to go out to dinner tonight.”

“Aww, sweetie I’m so happy for you. Not to mention that it all sounds so fucking hot. You are a lucky fucking girl.” I said honestly, even though the jealousy was still bubbling inside me. I refused to let it affect me though. My friend’s happiness was important and I’d be damned if I let my own feelings ruin her perfect moment. Adrianna deserved to be happy.

Of course I did too, but that would come in time.

“So am I, but I still think you should be careful… you’re still in the getting to know him process… so do that before you get in too deep with him.” Mia warned her. It was so typically motherly of her to do that. I guess I should have listened to her from day one.

“Of course, I want to take it one step at a time, but it was kind of hard to resist him last night. He was dazzling.”

“At least one out of the three of us had a good outcome to the evening.”

“Actually, it’s two out of three… I kind of like JC…he seems mature and older and mysterious….but I mean I’m still getting to know him so we’ll see where that goes.” Amelia blushed. I raised my eyebrow in confusion. Hadn’t she said that she would never go for a musician type? The fuck?

“Y’all just got lucky… this isn’t fair.” I crossed my arms over my chest. Now I was being a drama queen. How absolutely teenager like of me. I couldn’t help it though, I needed to vent. “I don’t know what to make of what happened with me and Justin or what I did wrong.”

“Maybe you didn’t do anything wrong… but spill.” Adrianna said supportively.

I prepared myself and then spilled the entire story. Both seemed particularly shocked by the crazy turn of events. I thought Justin and I would get to second base, not break up before we even had a chance to begin.

“I mean I don’t understand how it can go from making out, changing in front of each other and cuddling to being completely cold. It’s like he’s bipolar or something guys.” I did my best to keep my composure. I didn’t need my friends knowing how much I actually liked him, it was going to sound way too pathetic of me. I barely knew the guy and I had this huge crush on him. Not to mention I was crushed because of how he acted towards me.

“Leila, sweetheart, he’s a fucking asshole. I mean it’s like he got to see you naked or whatever and he was done with you. He got what he wanted.” Mia looked at me and took hold of my hand. “He isn’t worth it… there will be dozens of guys that come in and out of your life and will treat you a lot better than that… that… that LOSER!”

“Loser? That’s all you’ve got?” Adrianna grinned, trying to lighten the mood, but still angry at how Justin had treated me. “I have worse insults and in two languages, I think we should call him a spineless, dick-sucking, ass licker…”

I half smiled but I stupidly began to analyze Amelia’s words. He got what he wanted. Well, what if seeing me naked disgusted him? He wanted the best and it certainly wasn’t me. My throat began to close up at the horrible possibility. Was my body unappealing to him? Was I fat to him? This thought was enough to break me completely. No girl ever wants to hear that they are fat or unattractive.

I mean, I never thought I had an ugly shape. I guess I thought I was average in that department. How stupid could one be? Justin was used to super models, super skinny girls. I’d never been thin like that, I never found that attractive. It never occurred to me that men actually found that kind of thing attractive. It always seemed like pedophilia to me, like let me go to the woman with the body of a 12 year old because that’s so sexy. Gag me with a spoon.

 Wait… I mean was Justin worth changing myself for? I was always fond of my curvy chest and ass. Would losing that mean getting him? God, I was stupid to even let that thought cross my mind. Mia’s was right when she said that Justin was just another guy to add to my list.

It’s keeping him on that list that’s the hard part.

Chapter 10- Almost Lover

“Looking at your picture from when we first met
You gave me a smile that I could never forget
And nothing I could do could protect me from you that night
Wrapped around your finger, always on my mind
The days would blend 'cause we stayed up all night
Yeah, you and I were everything, everything to me”

-“Just Wanted You to Know” by Backstreet Boys

**Leila**

The sweat was pouring off me as I ran on the treadmill in my basement. A week had passed since the panty party and in that time I had not heard from Justin. I wasn’t surprised about that at all either. I’d be stupid if I even thought for a second that I’d receive a call or a text at most. Justin was done with me so there was no point in obsessing about it.

Unfortunately, I still couldn’t stop myself from obsessing

I quickened the pace on the treadmill and ran faster on the slight incline. I wanted to run until the humiliation disappeared. That was impossible but trust me when I tell you that I tried. I ran until sweat dripped down my forehead and I was ready to pass out from exhaustion. I greedily drank the remainder of my water bottle and shakily climbed off the treadmill.

I was never one to work out often but since everything had gone crazy with Justin, I felt this desire to make myself look better than ever. Part of me wanted to rub how good I could look in Justin’s face even though I’d most likely never see him aqain. Revenge was a little too fun for me. I’d probably need to get my head checked out if I told anyone how I fantasized about him drooling over me and begging me to be his.

The first step to recovery is knowing you have a problem and Justin Timberlake happens to be that problem for me. A big fucking problem that lingered under my skin.

It made me frustrated when I thought of him. I did everything I could to keep him out of my mind but he managed to sneak back in. He couldn’t leave me alone! GAH! He didn’t even contact me and I was still under his control.

I sighed and dried the sweat off my face with a towel. I hadn’t noticed that my twin brother Kyle had walked down the stairs and was watching me intently. The two of us had always been close but because of the Justin situation I had been keeping my distance. The lying was getting to me.

“Sup dork.” Kyle smiled goofily at me. “Since when do you work out?”

“Since I decided that I’m getting fat.” I replied and patted my stomach covered by a black tank top. Kyle rolled his eyes at me, showing me that he completely disagreed with that thought. Aww, my brother was sweet when he wanted to be.

“Yeah right… so I have messages for you.”

“Messages? From who?” I asked curiously and slightly excitedly. Yep, I got excited because I still had some hope that Justin was going to call me and apologize. Maybe he was? Maybe he was just having a bad morning and maybe only now he was realizing what an idiot he was to let me walk out of his life.

All it took was that and my hopes were up. How could I have been such a stupid girl? My parents never raised me to hang all over any man. Justin had an affect on me that I wasn’t at all used to. It scared me and thrilled me at the same time, a lethal combination.

“Travis, I really think you should talk to him.”

My face contorted into disgust at the mention of my ex-boyfriend, the best friend of my brother Kyle. What an idiot Travis was. What a complete waste of a human being. Ugh, that was not my anger and resentment talking, it was the truth. Travis was from a well to do family which made him spoiled and materialistic. I was blind to all his faults at first so I can’t be held responsible for my actions.

Now, this “gem” of a guy cheated on me and put me through hell. I have no proof that he cheated on me but I just knew. That probably makes me sound like a crazy stalker bitch but Travis Inara could NEVER just be friends with a girl. He had to have any and every girl he came into contact with. So when I went to his place and saw him in the hot tub with two bikini clad girls, I called it quits with him.

But the end of our relationship happened for more than just that, I wanted someone that was driven. Travis was clearly not that. He didn’t work a day in his life, he was content with lounging around and mooching off his parents. That was something that I simply would not tolerate. People should make their own lives not live off the fruits of others.

Someone like that would just bring me down and take me away from the focus of my dreams.

“Yeah… good one, Kyle.” I said flippantly.

“I’m serious,” He looked at me sadly. I cringed and quickly looked away from my brother. I would not feel sorry for Travis! “He’s been asking about you a lot… Leila, I think you really had an affect on him. He’s like changing… you should just talk to him.”

“HA! I don’t think so. You don’t want to admit that your friend is an asshole but it’s the truth. He’s a prick that is looking for fame and I refuse to let myself get caught up in that, so you keep that porcupine haired freak as your friend. I don’t want him as mine so don’t you dare try and force that on me.”

“Oh calm down before you pop a vein in your forehead.” Kyle laughed at me. I didn’t find his comments amusing at all. I huffed loudly and sat down on the weight bench.

Shouldn’t brothers try and protect their sisters from assholes not encourage them to go after them? It would of course be me to get the sibling that is the total opposite of normal.

“Leila, I’m not asking you to hop back in the sack with him, but just talk to him or something. Get him to stop being so pathetic because it’s really annoying.”

“I’ll do nothing and if you even think about bugging me about this again I’ll fucking tell Daddy on you.”

HA! Real mature of me. It’s funny how I say I want my father out of my life and yet I’m the first one to run to him for help. I guess it’s just a really bad habit that I need to work on kicking.

“Oh my God… chill, seriously. You get so angry at such little things.” Kyle rolled his eyes, I just stuck up my middle finger at him. Yeah, I didn’t need to be picked on because I didn’t plan on doing what he said. “But on a different note, you should come to the studio… my bands starting to record our new album… I want you to tell me what you think.”

The studio. Hm. Would Justin be there? Even worse, would Travis be there to haunt me? I bit at my nail as I considered the notion. Seeing Justin again would be extremely awkward but I did want to do that. I wanted to continue working on my music and maybe I wanted to put him in his place for being so rude to me. Then maybe I’d kiss him senseless. I SAID MAYBE! Oh God, who am I kidding? I’d jump his bones if I got the chance.

“Did you invite Travis? I smell a set up.” I said suspiciously and narrowed my eyes at my brother. He shrugged his shoulders and grabbed a plastic cup; he generously filled it with the Smart Water from our cooler.

“No. I mean he is my friend, sometimes he randomly shows up, but I’m serious when I’m telling you that I want you to give me your input on the tracks we’re laying down. Aiden’s already told me how lame and emo our music is… I’m hoping for something positive from you, Leila.”

I continued to eye Kyle suspiciously. There was no way I could prove that he was lying and I didn’t want to. Going to the studio would be a good change of pace for me. “On one condition… I want you to help me work on a song.”

“Seriously?” I nodded at my brother. “I’ll help… but Dad can’t know…. Deal?”

“Deal.” I stood up and shook his hand for affect, laughing at my silliness. “Where are you recording?”

“Battery… we’ll be there today starting from two-thirty on… so be there, bitca.”

Battery Studio? My heart soared, that was where I had been working on my music with Justin. Was he still recording there or was he long gone by now? I bit the inside of my cheek, fighting the smile. The thought of seeing Justin again was making me the happiest that I had been in this entire week. I could only imagine how I’d be if I ever saw him again.

Sometimes you just need a hard slap across the face to knock you back into reality. I’d definitely need to call one of my friends to do that for me.

**

My head bobbed back and forth to the melody being played back for me. It started out slow but gradually grew up in tempo. I could tell that this song was going to get massive amounts of radio playback. My brother’s band’s sound was like an alternative- pop rock if you had to categorize it as something.

Blind-Side are a talented group of four very different but talented guys. My brother is the lead singer as well as the bassist. Not to mention, he’s my Father’s prodigal child. Kyle Jacobs is everything my Dad wanted in a son. A famed musician who touched people with his music and even won a Grammy. Sometimes Kyle was like a mini version of my Dad, but just not as overbearing towards me.

“We haven’t added the vocals yet… but what do you think so far?” Kyle asked me and put his arm around my shoulder. I smiled at my shaggy blonde haired brother. The song had me awed. Whenever I heard the music that my brothers made, I felt nothing but pride. I came from a talented family. I could only wish to be half as talented and creative as the two of them.

“I’m not saying this because you’re my brother, but shit this is fucking GOOD!” I said with unconditional honesty.

“Thank you, thank you.” Kyle’s drummer Remy laughed before walking out of the room for what I assumed was a cigarette break. I rolled my eyes at his cockiness, but fuck, I couldn’t blame any of them for that. They were good and they had to be proud of it! I know I’d be jumping around if I could make music half as good as that.

Unfortunately, the one I wanted to help me was out the door before he’d even set foot inside. Sometimes when I thought about him I got so unbelievably angry. I let an idiot get me so emotional. God, what was wrong with me? I was acting like I had more than just an attraction to him. No, that couldn’t be right. I barely knew Justin, it was impossible for me to have strong feelings like that for him.

“The feel of the song… it’s just so powerful. I was listening to it and it just gave me goose bumps. I think a lot of people will be able to relate to this. I just hope the lyrics will work with it… because if you kill this song, I’ll kill you.” I joked and earned a shove from Kyle. “Seriously, the melody is just deep and intriguing…. I think it’s great.”

“Thanks dork… but it’s going to sound different when we add the vocals to it. You wanna stick around and listen to me lay em out? I’ll even let you kick my ass if you hate them.” Kyle stated, I burst out into laughter at his silliness. It was nothing like a day with my brother to make me feel better.

Would it be fucked up to call him my favorite brother? He was just so carefree and wasn’t about protecting me twenty-four seven. Kyle treated me like an adult with my own mind, not like a child who could barely cross the street without someone’s help. It felt good to know that someone thought highly of me.

“I’m down for it… but then you have to help with my song. I’m not forgetting about that part of the deal.” I said sternly. My brother just laughed and shook his head at me. I didn’t find that very funny at all.

“I didn’t… I never break my promises, Leila.”

I sighed knowingly at my brother’s words. Kyle would never disappoint me and even funnier was that he was never the type to go behind our Father’s back. He wasn’t rebellious at all, I got a kick out of seeing this new side of him. I guess all of the Jacobs children were changing, except for Aiden; he’d always be a rebel.

My brother went about recording the vocals to his song. I was surprised at how quickly the process went about, but I was assured it was only because my brother had practiced it a jillion times over. He was a perfectionist so it really didn’t strike me as something odd.

Regardless of everything, I was awed by my brother’s voice. Talent obviously ran in my family and no I’m not being conceited and talking about myself. The three most important men in my life, my Dad and two brothers, hold the talent. I’m just a bystander with maybe just a smidge of talent to get me by. I couldn’t even come close to having the stage presence and creativity that those three have.

“You think I need another take?” Kyle called from inside the booth. I shook my head exasperatedly for affect.

“NO! That was amazing.” The words had definitely touched me. It was about someone putting their heart on the line for someone they wanted so badly. Pain didn’t matter, neither did heartbreak. It was all about being with the person you desired.

That was kind of what had happened to me. I had put myself on the line for Justin, probably acted a fool and did things I never thought I would. Justin made me want to be a different person. I was probably stupid for even bothering to change for a man but with Justin I felt like anything was possible. He made me want to open up, but those days were definitely over. I wouldn’t allow myself to be a stupid girl who jumps at the first apology.

Besides, Justin was not the type to apologize so I shouldn’t even delude myself.

“You sure?”

“Listen to the playback and see for yourself.”

Throwing his headphones to the side, my brother walked out of the booth and the sound engineer began to play the vocals back for us. I leaned back on the reclining chair I was sitting and listened to the song.

“My hopes are so high,
that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me,
so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury,
or wear as jewelry,
which ever you prefer.”

Those lyrics could get stuck in my head for days. I was absolutely in love with the truth behind them. I had no idea how deep my brother was. This was like a new found appreciation for his talent. I guess it was also the sibling gene in me, but I wasn’t aware that my brother could have these feelings for someone. I always saw him as the type of guy that would never settle down.

“If you change that I’ll never speak to you again.” I spoke softly after the song had ended. “Kyle, there’s pain in your voice, a desperation for that person you are singing to… it captures the words so perfectly. I really love it.”

“I think I want to keep the chorus but I want to work on the intro, it feels like it’s missing something... but really thank you though Lei-loser.” Kyle draped his arm around my shoulder and I smiled in content. “I was a little iffy about this song… I mean it kind of started as a joke but I started to really like it. I wanted a girl’s point of view on it and well, you’re the closest to a girl I could find.”

I stuck my tongue out and my brother, unable to help but laugh. “Thanks, you’re so sweet.” I looked at him carefully, a question lingering in my mind. “So the song was a joke, it wasn’t about anyone?”

“Nah, unless you can count my girlfriend from tenth grade…” Kyle laughed and ran a hand through his unruly blonde hair. It was funny how similar we looked but we really were nothing alike personality wise. I guess that’s always the case with twins though.

Kyle ran from love when he had every opportunity to find it, while I desperately grasped at things that were never mine to begin with. I looked for love in every place and still came up empty handed. I was starting to give up on the dream of a fairy tale ending.

“Christiana? She was pretty, maybe even too pretty for you.” I joked, earning a shove from Kyle. He always became so serious at the mention of Christiana, I guess it was because she was the only girl that ever got away. Okay, maybe my comment was a little insensitive then. “Kidding… no one is too good for you.”

I was bad at saving myself. Thankfully Kyle just laughed off my words and jumped to a new topic. I’m really not good in awkward situations, I also never think before I speak. That’s why I tend to embarrass myself.

“Okay… so where’s this song you want to work on? Show me what you got.” Kyle smiled at me, but I could tell his mind was still somewhere else. There was a distant look in his eyes and I felt so bad. There I went making a mess about things and hurting innocent people.

I half smiled and walked to the piano. This song wouldn’t get out of my head. It had started out as a poem I had written after everything happened with Justin. Without warning, I was singing it in the shower, I was dreaming about it. It had been another obsession I had divulged into. I guess I was the type of person that had an obsessive/addictive personality. There always had to be something to have my attention. OR, I had done all of this to keep Justin off my mind, when in reality, it just bolted him there.

My fingertips glided across the cool ivory keys and the melody that had been plaguing me was brought to life once again. Every free moment was spent working on this song, it was most definitely no where near done but I needed to show it to someone.

”Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick
I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me”

I paid no attention to my brother listening; I imagined that Justin was before me, listening to the words I wished I could speak to him. The words that he’d never care to hear. It broke me to know this. Every time that thought flew into my mind, the bits of hope slowly chipped away. I was so utterly confused, wanting him and yet wanting him out of my mind.

I never had this problem when I ended things with Travis. Why did Justin have this affect on me? God, how much did I have to reiterate that I barely knew him? None of this made sense at all. It was like I walked into some parallel dimension where someone had finally gotten to my heart.

My HEART? Wait no. That couldn’t be it. Deep emotions take time to grow. They don’t take a couple of times of studio sessions and a house party to form. I was losing my mind.

“Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do”

I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the music instead of the thoughts flooding my mind. Singing this song was like unleashing a flood of images which slowly broke me down. I looked down at my manicured fingers, working the small keyboard with ease. I couldn’t bear to look at my brother and see his reaction to the song. If I did I knew I’d break all concentration and fumble through the words that meant so much to me.

The memories of Justin overcame my resistance. Our first meeting, our first studio session and our almost kiss. I couldn’t pin point the moment when I fell under his spell. It happened so suddenly. It was like cupid’s arrow shooting me in the back, I was blinded by lust and hope.

“We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me

Images
And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no
I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me”

I smiled at the insignificant memories, our troops to the coffee shop and our “intellectual” discussions about our favorite Disney movie, Peter Pan. We could have been so perfect, that was what tore at me the most. I knew for a fact that the silly, goofy Justin that I had come to adore would have made a great couple with me.

I’d never get the chance to know. I’d have to stop my whining and get through this. My therapy singing session was my way of letting this go, once and for all. Sure I’d think of him, but all hope was done with. It was better off this way. Torturing myself was unhealthy but I was unable to stop. Now I’d force myself into doing so.

“I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life”

Taking a deep breath as the melody ended, I finally titled my head to the side to take in Kyle’s reaction. He seemed to be studying me with a half smile on is face. I blushed and waited for him to speak but nothing was said.

“Get the fuck in the booth… we’re laying that down.”

I laughed softly and stood up from my seat, a makeshift piano bench. I was filled with pride that someone thought I had done something good. I mean the melody was pretty simple and the words were far from perfect, but it had come from me. This was my chance.

**Justin**

The last week of my life had been miserable. It killed me to know that the one thing I had wanted so much was now never possible. I was so cold when I told Leila there was nothing between us. I was kicking myself in the ass for not being honest with her. I never wanted her to believe any harsh lie about her.

Besides that, I was sure she hated me, as she should, but it still kind of hurt. FUCK! Letting Leila go was supposed to avoid hurting, not bring it on.

Of course, I got a million and one comments from JC and Demario. Both had heard every detail from Mia and Adrianna. Demario called me a pussy which was the truth. I fucked up when it came to Leila. I let my fears rule me which ended up backfiring on me.

Demario is the type of guy that lives in the moment; he didn’t understand why I couldn’t do the same. I mean, I usually did. I never really gave a flying fuck about someone else’s feelings other than my own and now the notion of hurting Leila was destroying me. Demario just told me to get my shit together and act on my impulses. It doesn’t matter what the outcome is as long as you have fun along the way.

Unfortunately I could never be like that.

JC’s advice wasn’t any better. He told me that he didn’t approve of the way I let Leila down but he said that it was for the best. I didn’t want to think of it that way. I wanted to believe that I made a huge fucking mess of things and I had to fix them as soon as possible. 

Why couldn’t anyone tell me how to clean it up? This just made me want to rip out the little bit of hair I had on my head. Of all moments to miss my curls…

To make matters worse, Demario dragged me out to a bar with him and Adrianna. Aside from the dirty looks Adrianna was shooting me, I had a miserable time. Girls were throwing themselves at me and maybe I took advantage at first, but Leila was on my mind and I quickly backed away. None of these girls could ever be her so why should I even bother?

I had the perfect girl in the palm of my hands and I threw her away because as Demario said, I’m a bitch. Now, I’m stuck recording for a stupid movie soundtrack, in a studio where everything reminds me of her. I’m quoting my own lyrics here, but I’m LoveStoned… and she DOESN’T know.

I left the room, needing to take a break from the incessant singing. When I had a clear head, music came easier for me and I wouldn’t have to resort to quoting my old lyrics.

“KYLE! If you tell him to come here I’m going home!”

My head snapped to attention, I knew that voice. That was my Leila, but who was she with? I looked around and noticed her walking down the hall, staring at her brother, Kyle Jacobs. She was as beautiful as ever in leggings and a barely there shirt-dress. I was beginning to believe that she didn’t even have to go all out in the way she dressed and she would still be beautiful.

“Lei, don’t be a bitch, it won’t hurt you to talk to him for five minutes. He really misses you and I know for a fact that he’s changed.”

THE FUCK?! Who misses her? My hands balled into tight fists at my sides. Even if I wanted to do anything about the guy that was on Leila’s jock, I couldn’t. She’d probably laugh at me if I intervened anyway.

“Oh my God, how many fucking times do I have to tell you that I don’t want to talk to Travis? I can’t stand him! He’s good for nothing and a complete waste of a human being. I’m not even happy about breathing the same air as him.” Leila hissed at her brother. I smiled at her fiery spirit; I hadn’t seen enough of that side of her. There was a lot I hadn’t seen enough of.

“Way to be gentle about things,” Kyle laughed and held his hands up in front of him in defeat. “Fine, I won’t tell Trav to come, but if next time he magically appears, it’s not my fault. Besides, I’m helping you with you’re track, it should make us equal then.”

She growled at her brother and smacked his arm, walking right by me without even noticing my existence. I suddenly wasn’t as consumed with this Travis person as much as I was about her working on a song. That was supposed to be our thing and now she was working with someone else? I shouldn’t have been jealous about the situation but I couldn’t help myself.

“I think not.”

“Whatever Lei, I have a question for you though… you know how you mentioned that you thought my song was about someone?” Kyle asked as the two walked over to the vending machine that she and I had our first encounter at. Leila nodded but seemed very uncomfortable with the topic. “Is your song about someone?”

“Yeah.” She answered quietly. I knew automatically that she was talking about that song to her ex-boyfriend, “Over You.” The song that she and I had been slaving over was no longer ours. I felt like a complete asshole because it was ultimately my fault.

“Well… who? Is it Travis?”

“No….it’s not. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you who it was about… so let’s drop it.” She put her money in the vending machine and typed at the numbers. Leila looked so sad, I wanted to put my arms around her and comfort her. I wanted to know who this song was about so I could break their face for hurting the girl who didn’t deserve any pain.

I should break my own face for doing the same to her.

“No… Leiloser, I’m you’re older brother by 3 minutes, so I demand to know.”

“It’s…” She looked nervous and began searching around the room to escape the question. Her arms were locked around herself like she was trying to keep the information locked inside her. I hated myself for blowing it with such a great girl. “Justin?”

Her eyes locked with mine and I smiled genuinely. She had noticed me. I probably looked like a freak, staring at her from the shadows but that’s how Leila had me under her control. What a fucking blessing and curse. She held a small box of pretzels in her hand and I couldn’t help but laugh. She had listened to my advice about the vending machine.

“Hey Leila…” I walked towards her; her brother looked at me in wonder but my focus was on Leila. The girl who had been the object of my obsession for the past month or so. She wasn’t sure what to make of me, but she still smiled sweetly. “How’ve you been?”

“Okay… just busy, you know. How about you?”

“I’ve been kind of shitty… but that’s another story…” I said honestly, but I didn’t want to divulge into things with her brother right there. “I overheard you guys talking… you’re working on your songs with someone else? I thought you were going to call me for that…”

“She’s working on her songs with me, her brother.” Kyle spoke up slightly protectively; he even placed a hand on his sister’s shoulder for affect. I didn’t blame him for that; I didn’t have the greatest reputation when it came to the ladies.

“Oh nice to meet you dude, I’m sorry for being rude… I’m Justin.” I stuck my hand out which Kyle shook gratefully.

“I’m Kyle…how did you two meet?” He eyed me and then Leila suspiciously. She bit her lip and shifted her weight from foot to foot.

“Actually here in the studio… I came with Dad and we ended up talking about this vending machine here.” She laughed nervously and pushed a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear. “Justin promised to help me work on my music but things got hectic.”

Kyle seemed to buy the story. He smiled and his posture relaxed. I saw Leila let out a sigh of relief and I smiled widely. She was too cute when she wasn’t trying.

“Oh man… we’re actually recording something right now… you wanna come hear it? It’s pretty sick sounding… she got all the music down herself… I’m so proud.” Kyle gushed on about his sister. I felt like telling him that he should be proud of her regardless.

“I’d love to hear it.”

“No… I mean um, Justin’s a busy man… I’m sure he has other things to do.” Leila said with that same edgy tone to her voice. Why didn’t she want me hearing this song? Fuck that, I was going to hear it whether she liked it or not.

“I actually don’t. I’d love to hear it… let’s go.”

Leila seemed particularly puzzled by my words. I didn’t blame her. I played a horrible game with her and by some miraculous coincidence, I was getting a chance to make things right. I’d talk to her and apologize. It was up to her whether she accepted the apology or not.

Hands Down- Dashboard Confessional

Almost lover- a fine frenzy

Chapter 11- Apologize

“When somebody's knockin’
When somebody wants me
When somebody's trying to love me completely
I get scared
Don't know how it works
Will somebody save me?
Or will I get burned?
Don't wanna get burned” – “Burned” by Hilary Duff

**Justin**

The three of us walked towards Recording Room B where Kyle and Leila had been. Leila seemed very uncomfortable that I was even in her presence. This wasn’t good for my apology at all.

“You’ve heard Leila sing before?” Kyle asked me suddenly. A smirk crossed my face and I made eye contact with Leila. She still looked uneasy which made me feel like crap. I hid any trace of that and kept up my cocky demeanor.

“Yeah she’s really good… that’s why I want to help her out. Leila has a raw, untouched talent… I think she can go places if she puts her mind to it.”

Kyle opened the door to the studio where his band was sitting around drinking coronas. I guess I was the last person they expected to walk in. It’s like one of those awkward jokes, “Jesus, Justin Timberlake and Kyle Jacobs walk into a bar…”  Yeah, I’m not laughing at that one either.

“Leila will definitely make it big… but it’ll happen when she’s ready and for the right reasons… right, Lei?”

Looking up from the ground, Leila nodded and continued to bite at her nail. I was starting to think that I should have just left her alone. Getting involved in her life was only bringing her aggravation. FUCK! This was why I hurt the girl in the first place; I wanted to save her from pain. Damnit, I just needed a slap across the face, anything to knock the sense into me.

Clearly I lost all reason the day Leila Jacobs walked into my life.

“Move over… I wanna play Leila’s track…” Kyle said to his friends who were crowding the soundboard. Leila finally spoke up in a voice that sounded so small and frail

“You really don’t have to do that… we could show him another time…”

She really didn’t want me to hear her song. WHY? Was she embarrassed in front of me? Did she not want me to know that the song we had been working on was already done? Or could the song have been about me? Ha, the last part was my ego talking. I’m sure she had better things to write about than me.

“Don’t be shy, Lei… come on, I’m sure he’ll love it.”

She nodded at her brother, her shoulders slumping in defeat. I almost wanted to tell him no as well, but I was too curious. Kyle flipped a few buttons and a singular piano melody exploded from the speakers. It was simple yet beautiful. It was just like the girl that had created it. A simplistic, natural beauty which didn’t need the wonders of cosmetics or plastic surgery to enhance.

Her voice captivated me. It held such sadness; such desperation to get through to the person it was modeled after. God, I wanted to put my arms around her and let her know it was alright. I never wanted her to feel any sadness. Yet, I had done just that to her. I had crushed her at the worst moment.

Through all this, I almost completely forgot to listen to the lyrics. I closed my eyes and relaxed, listening to the voice of the most beautiful girl on the planet. She sang a song about a lover that had done her wrong, an almost lover as she called it. That’s what we were… almost lovers…

Wait a second…

“How good is this? She came up with the entire song, lyrics and melody, all by herself.” Kyle said proudly. I smiled, my head still in a tizzy. Could this really be about me? Did she really care that much about me that she wrote a song?

When did my life get so confusing?

“Really?” I slyly looked over at Leila from the corner of my eye; she was the color of a ripe tomato. I couldn’t hide the smirk that crept upon my face. If this song was really about me, it was just making my ego grow larger. Shit, I needed to talk to Leila. Alone. “It’s amazing… but I expect no different from her.”

If it was possible the red in her cheeks grew a shade or two darker. I shouldn’t have been enjoying this moment, but I was anyway. It was more of an admission that Leila wanted me just as badly as I did her. Or should I say that she hated me? I wouldn’t blame the girl if she hated me now, though I hated myself enough for the both of us.

She looked at the ground, her arms covering her torso. No, she’d never have to hide that beautiful body from me. The blood flowed directly to my cock and it hardened instantly. I thought of pushing her against the wall and ripping the tights off her legs. I wanted my cock inside that tight pussy I had seen briefly.

Eyeing her with appreciation, I looked at her shapely thighs, barely covered by her dress, which could barely even be called that. I wanted it all and everything that lied in between. I had fucked up my first chance, but if I had a second, God willing, I would not waste it. Being in between her thighs, my dick pointed at her pussy lips, ready to pound her tight flesh was the only way things should be.

Fuck getting hurt, to hell with my fears and worries. I’d apologize to Leila and I’d make her mine. I didn’t care what I had to do to make my fantasies a reality. It was becoming more and more clear that Leila Jacobs was just right for me. It was funny how just over a month ago I would have never believed that any girl could be right for me. But Leila’s sweet personality, shy demeanor not to mention hot body was enough to make me want to change.

Change? Was that even possible? I was not the type of man to be pussy whipped, no matter how beautiful the girl might be. Fuck, I was so confused. A big part of me wanted to make her mine, make sure those lips, thighs, tits, supple ass, her little cunt and not to mention, the most important thing, her mind, all belonged to me. See, I’m not a complete asshole that only wants sex from her. But I will admit that I’m greedy.

“Of course, she is related to me after all.” Kyle smiled at his sister and draped an arm around her shoulder. He pulled her close seemingly lost in thought. The smile faded from his face and he finally spoke again. “Too bad Dad won’t agree to letting you pursue something with music.”

“Can I ask why he won’t?”

Kyle eyed me and spoke with heavy regret in his voice. “You should know that the business is a tough and cruel place… he’s trying to look out for her. I mean look at the Nicole Richie and Britney Spears types… he doesn’t want her to end up that way. He’s pushing her for an education and maybe later on she can go on to it.”

“Which is completely sexist of him, being that he didn’t push you or Aiden to do that first. Just because I’m a female doesn’t mean I’m helpless. I have enough common sense to tell me not to go and get addicted to drugs or fuck everyone in the business.” The bitterness in Leila’s tone shocked me. She was very passionate about this subject. It just fueled my want to help her. “… Not to mention that not everyone turns out like that. Look at Mandy Moore and Hilary Duff… fuck… look at Justin!”

She had a point. I mean I did my share of drugs but I knew better than to get involved in coke or heroin. That shit is addictive. I did extensive research before I even considered trying a new substance. Neither of them needed to know my shady past. I was still considered clean in the spotlight. What I did on my own time was my business alone. The world didn’t need to know about all my transgressions. It was enough that they had a field day with my romantic life.

“Hey chill out… I’m not the one stopping you… it’s him. So don’t get all PMS-y on me.” Kyle retorted in a compassionate manner. “If it was up to me you know I’d let you go for it.”

A thought occurred to me, one I probably should have thought of a long time ago. I own my own fucking label, Tennman Records and Demario owns his own label, RazBeatz . Um, we could help her. She didn’t have to go through her father or any other big name label. Leila Jacobs had the talent, the look not to mention the drive to become a huge star. I’d make sure that it happened for her.

“Does she really need his approval? I don’t want to fan the flames, but Leila, I could sign you to my label or even Demario’s. You wouldn’t have to ask your Dad for permission.” Leila’s eyes locked with mine. She was clearly moved by my suggestion. At least I did something right.

“Really? You mean that?”

“I do. We could even start working on the paper work now if you want.”

“No, I don’t think that’s a smart idea. Lei, you need a lawyer to look over things like that… you can’t just sign. This is something you need to give serious fucking thought.” Kyle was doing what any concerned sibling would be doing. He was protecting his sister and I completely respected him for that. I’d do the same for my little brothers.

“He’s right… but it won’t hurt for us to talk about it.” I said and smiled

“That’s true… our Dad’s MIA for the weekend so we’re throwing a little party…feel free to come by.” Kyle stated and extended his hand out to me. I took it and gratefully shook it. Leila on the other hand, didn’t look thrilled by this. Her words of disapproval made me want to laugh

“I’m sure Justin has better things to do!”

“I actually don’t. I’d love to come.” I grinned like the Cheshire cat, showing Leila that she wouldn’t get her way. I’d weasel my way into her life and get a glimpse of how the girl I desired lived. “First though, I’d like to speak to Leila in private, if that’s okay.”

Oh timid little Leila didn’t look happy about that one, but she kept her composure. She sent a tight lipped smile my way and a partial nod. This was my chance to apologize and well if she didn’t accept it now, then I was going to have to do my best to try and convince her later tonight.

Storming out of the room and into the hallway, I followed the firecracker of a girl. I stifled a laugh as I heard her brother mutter something about how she must have had her period. If they only knew that I was behind her incessant mood swings and erratic behavior.

“What do you want?” She hissed at me when we were finally alone. Seething with rage was putting it lightly.

“To talk to you obviously.” I muse-fully responded. She didn’t like my playful responses. Leila stood with her arms crossed, leaning against the wall. Her body language screamed insecurity. My previous words had a definite affect on her and I hated it.

“Then talk.”

“I want to apologize for what happened… I never meant to hurt you or insult you-“

She interrupted me with a dry laugh and smart response. “That’s funny; you did a great job at it.”

“Leila, don’t be like this… you have to understand that I was scared. I’m not used to having these warm, gushy feelings that I have for you.” I admitted weakly. She stared at my face, studying me for a few moments. If she was trying to make me uncomfortable, that was impossible. I was used to being watched by a microscopic lens.

She rested the palm of her hand against the off white wall and licked at her bottom lip. Seductively she ran her tongue across the pink skin, looking like she was lost in deep thought. Leila probably wasn’t trying to make my mind run amuck with perverse thoughts, but it happened anyway.

I pictured that pink tongue, darting around the tip of my cock. Her hot mouth waiting and ready to take in every inch of my swollen member. I was ready for this to happen, to feel my cock slide in and out of her mouth as she sucked me, willing to drain me dry of the sexual frustrations courtesy of her. I smirked at the image of her in my mind, instead of licking her lips nervously; she would be licking the remains of my cum. Greedily taking in every drop.

Son of a bitch, I was fucking horny fucking bastard. If only Leila knew that she was the star of every single one of my fantasies. She’d probably eat it all up.

“So you’re scared that’s understandable… but why the fuck did you have to make me feel so disgusting? Was it really that difficult to just tell me you were scared? I would have backed off. It was not necessary to make me feel like so… “unworthy” of your greatness.” She mocked me, using quotations around unworthy. God, she was cute even when she was trying to make a point. I couldn’t help but chuckle at her attempts to put me in my place. “This isn’t funny! One measly “I’m sorry” is NOT going to make things okay. You keep playing these games with me and making me want to tear my hair out.” She waved her index finger wildly, maybe even close to shoving it in my face. 

“I don’t intentionally mean to act like this… but I guess I’m just selfish.  I think about myself before anyone else and when I did actually let everything sink in, my first instinct was to get you away from me because undoubtedly I would hurt you. In my attempt not to hurt you, I did just the opposite… and I’m sorry for that.”

Silence. An awkward silence ensued where Leila tried to asses everything I said. I was honest. For the first time in a long time, I was brutally honest and it was refreshing. The decision was in her hands now as much as I hated to admit it. While I usually had the power, I was handing it over to a girl on a silver platter. For the first time in my life, I was actually unsure of something. I could no longer maintain that cocky and confident demeanor.

“I just still don’t understand… I never pursued you, you came after me. If you were so scared, why did you even bother?”

“…Good question….I just liked you. You know, from the minute we first started talking, there was a connection between us. I tried to ignore it and act like I could have a professional relationship with you, but the more we started talking, the more I found myself liking who you are. Now I’m ready for another shot at this, one where we can be honest with each other, but that is completely up to you.” I said honestly. I took a few steps closer to her; the gap between us was only a few inches wide. I wanted to close it completely, take her in my arms and kiss her senseless.

“We’ll just have to see about that… hopefully you can prove to me how sorry you claim you are.” This assertive side of Leila left me astounded and slightly turned on. It was like my words were the elixir that changed her into a different person. She slid away from me, brushing her shoulder against mine as she passed me. I turned around and saw her walking down the hallway, back to the room she had been recording in. That was when her entire body turned to face me. “I’ll see you tonight then, Justy.” She winked at me and quickly disappeared down the hallway.

This girl was trouble and I loved every moment of it.

**Leila**

What the fuck was going in my life that had become filled with drama? I think I was beginning to envy the characters on my favorite soap opera, General Hospital. They seemed to have a much less complicated life than me. How was that even possible?

Now I stood in my room, staring at my reflection in the mirror. What I was wearing was going to entice Justin, to make him squirm the same way I always did. Everything that had happened this morning felt like a dream. Was I so cracked out that I was imagining things?

Impossible. I clearly I heard Justin apologize to me and admit that he had feelings for me. This was pure insanity.

“I’m not feeling this dress. It’s pretty but it’s not enough to make him suffer. I think you should go with the first one you tried on.” Adrianna called out from my bed. She was lying belly down, half reading “Eclipse” by Stephenie Meyer and half helping me pick out the right outfit to make Justin’s jaw drop to the floor.

“The baby doll black one?” I walked back to my closet and picked up the crumpled ball of a dress off the floor. The dress was tight on top, showing off an almost indecent amount of cleavage. It fell loose just after the chest and came up short.

My brother Aiden would have a heart attack when he saw me wearing this. I smirked knowingly. This really was the perfect dress. I walked into my bathroom and stripped the bright blue colored dress from my body. I couldn’t wait for the evening to truly begin and that man that oozed sex appeal to walk through my doors.

How stupid of me to let him have such an affect of me. No man was worth this stress… right? Ugh. Did that still apply when it came to Justin Timberlake? That tall, lean man that had a magical affect on me. His superhero power should be moistening panties with the slightest glance. Gah. This was unreal.

“Yep… now hurry your ass up… we’re missing drinks and hot guys in the pool.”  Adrianna called to me from outside the bathroom. She was already dressed in a simple velour dress and light makeup that accented her green, cat-like eyes.

Luckily Demario made sure to remind her that she was beautiful whenever he got the chance. The two weren’t officially a couple yet, but they sure as hell acted like one. They had become almost inseparable. I was happy for my friend who had such bad luck with guys. Was Demario the one that was going to finally be different? I hoped for the best but made sure to warn her not to let herself get hurt.

I always project my own insecurities on others. It’s not right of me.

“I plan on giving that asshole the worst case of blue balls.” I smirked deviously. I applied some light lip-gloss and walked back into my bedroom. I completed my outfit with a pair of paten leather pumps. Justin’s dick was going to be uncomfortably hard for the rest of the night. I was eating that up. How evil of me.

“Shit, if I had balls I know they’d be blue. Leila, you look fucking fierce.” Adrianna giggled and bounced off the bed and over to me. “He’s going to go absolutely NUTS when he sees you.”

“That’s the plan.” I grabbed her arm and pulled her along with me. I shakily walked out of the room, hoping that I wouldn’t fall on my ass in my heels. That would kill the sexy vibe I was trying to project.

We made our way down the flared staircase. I heard the sound of music leading from the backyard and I knew that the party was already beginning. Bikini clad girls were everywhere, one even had her nasty ass on the kitchen countertop. When she got off, I’d made sure to find the Clorox so I could kill whatever STD she left behind.

With the girls my brothers hung around with, one could only be so careful. Dirty bitches. I sent an evil glare at a few girls who were crowding around Kyle. He absolutely loved the attention. Gross. Girls like that were after two things, dick and money. No one had any respect for themselves anymore.

Most importantly, no guy has respect for girls like that. I’m glad my parents raised me to know that.

“Keep it in your pants, loser.” I said patronizingly. The swarm of sluts surrounding him looked at me. It was one of those moments that you know if looks could kill…

“Haha… right. Why don’t you go and put some clothes on. Aiden’s going to FLIP when he sees you.”

“Oh God, Aiden needs to relax himself.”

“Obviously so do you….especially around a certain Mister… what is it that they call him, JT?” Kyle winked at me, while I did my best to not let the shock show on my face. Was it THAT obvious that I was crazy about Justin? How humiliating.

I assumed that he didn’t come out and say Justin Timberlake because the girls around him would flip out. I cringed at having to fight for Justin’s attention. I’d have to keep him away from the flock of sluts. He was mine, whether he knew it or not yet. I wasn’t about to share either.

“Shut your mouth, Kyle or I’m going to make sure there won’t be children in your future.” I hissed at my brother and sent the most menacing glare at him. My glares end up coming off as goofy, which brought Kyle into a fit of laughter.

“Sure sure. Just don’t let Dad or Aiden find out what I already know. You and that fairy princess dancer will be in a lot of trouble if you do.”

Adrianna looked at the both of us, her eyes widening in amusement. She was a ticking time bomb, I could almost put my finger on the exact moment that she would explode with laughter. I counted in my head, three… two… one… “FAIRY PRINCESS? AHAHAHA!” She just about rolled on the floor.

“Shut up, Dri! Come on.” I stormed outside and directly over to the cooler filled with alcohol. Adrianna reached for a corona while I was more selective with my liquor. Unfortunately my brothers decided to hide the good stuff inside. I would most definitely be raiding the bar for the rest of the evening.

I took a deep breath, wondering how my evening was going to go. I probably shouldn’t be too shocked if Justin decided not to show up either. He played so many screwed up games with me that him not showing up was a definite possibility. So much for him proving his apology was sincere.

GAH! Now I was assuming things. There I went, overanalyzing as usual. I’m not a pessimist but when someone does me wrong it’s hard for me to trust them again. Believing in them is even harder. Most people think like me so fortunately, I’m not alone. My paranoia can almost be justified.

I mean, I want to think optimistically about the situation with him. I want to welcome him into my heart with open arms but things are never that simple. Just as Justin didn’t want me to be hurt, I didn’t want myself to be hurt either. But shutting Justin out would not take him out of my mind. What was a girl to do?

“Lala, can you tell me why you’re wearing a towel?” My brother Aiden’s unmistakable voice caused me to grimace.  Another brother to deal with. This one was a bigger obstacle than the other. Huffing with a lasting irritation, I looked at Aiden, He was sitting with one of those skanky girls on his lap.

Everyone was trying to make me lose my dinner.

“It’s a dress… and it’s clearly more clothing than your little friend has on.” I responded nastily and waved patronizingly at the girl seated with him. She was a pretty redhead, short hair, long legs; the exotic looking type that most guys would kill to have one night with. Whoever this girl was, she didn’t look thrilled with how I was addressing her. Tough.

“Put tights on or something… that’s indecent.”

I laughed, this was just showing me that this outfit was perfect to drive Justin wild… if he ever showed up. I sashayed back inside the house and immediately rushed to the bar. Tonight was going to be a long night.

Good old cranberry and grey goose was going to be my comfort.

Chapter 12- You Eclipsed By Me

“You don’t know the torture,

You don’t know the pain.

Loving what you can’t have,

Is driving me insane.

It’s dangerous, I pull away.

You’re dangerous, so keep your distance,

Still you run through my veins.” “Next Life” by In this Moment

**Leila**

Three vodka and cranberries and an “Incredible Hulk” later, I was still alone but now I was slightly drunk. On top of that, lucky Adrianna had Demario at her side. My fears brought to life. Justin was not coming. If he was he definitely would have came with Demario. It figured that he was once again going to bring my hopes up only to crush them into dust.

It was my own fault. I wanted to believe in something that wasn’t ever there. I pushed for it because I was living in some dream where I believed that prince charming comes along and rescues the damsel. HA! What a joke. What an unfortunate, illusioned girl I am.

Looking around at my surroundings, I stared at my reflection from the mirrored wall behind the bar. I looked so sad… so pathetic. If my Mom was alive she would have slapped me for letting myself get so bent out of shape over a guy. I mentally apologized to her and sipped the last remainders of my green Incredible Hulk drink. It was a lethal combination of Hennessy and Hypnotiq; it would promise to put me on my ass by the end of the night. I was welcoming that idea with open arms; it would be the perfect solution to rid any thoughts of that bastard Justin Timberlake from my thoughts.

“Leila, what’s your issue?”

I barely looked up as Adrianna spoke to me. Instead, I twirled the straw around in my drink and wondered if there were a more idiotic girl out there then me. Probably not, I happened to take the prize when it came to making a fool of myself. No one was better at it than me, especially when it came to picking the wrong men.

I couldn’t blame Justin for not wanting to go after me. I’m just a boring, average girl; someone like him gets with supermodels and the like. For fuck’s sake, he dated Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. I definitely do not fall into the same category as those two girls. I’m not blind, I know I’m not even anywhere close to their level of beauty or sex appeal.

“LEILA! I know you hear meeee.” Adrianna spoke in a sing song tone; I half smiled and looked over at her. Jealousy, an uncharacteristic emotion for me, bubbled when I saw Adrianna and Demario, cuddling on the couch.

I’m not supposed to be envious of my best friend! Justin Timberlake, what the hell have you done to me?! Someone nothing like me was inhabiting my skin and I didn’t like it all. I became this strange person with so much doubt about myself and the people around me. He truly had fucked me up.

“Sorry, just too much on my mind.” I stated, not wanting to go into any more details. It’d be quite embarrassing if I mentioned to Justin’s best friend that he was making me crazy. Although that was a very well known fact, I was finding out.

“You trippin’ cause of my boy?” Demario asked with a sly smile. Great. This would feed Justin’s ego more. I’m surprised that thing didn’t have it’s own zip code yet.

“Um no! What would give you that idea?!” Nonchalance wasn’t a good look on me. Especially when I can’t act for shit. My lie was blatantly obvious and the knowing smile on Demario’s face made me feel like an even bigger idiot. “Don’t answer that.”

“Come on girl, don’t be stressing over him… he fuckin’ wants you more then you even know.” He said confidently from his place on the couch. His arm was slung around Adrianna and he smiled widely at me. I tried hard not to stare at his lips, they made me think all sorts of dirty things. “I know he’s gonna be here soon.”

“I don’t care if he comes or not…”

“Yes you do.” Adrianna used that same sing song tone again. I shot a glare at her that sent her into hysterics.

“Shut up you traitor.”

She laughed again and I fought a smile that was waiting to spread across my lips. Now was not supposed to be a happy time! Damn her for cheering me up. I was supposed to have the opportunity to wallow in my pain. It seems like I couldn’t even get that. So much for normalcy, thanks a lot Timberfuck.

Sadly, I’d never get to thank him and by thank I mean kick in the balls enough times so he’ll never be able to reproduce. I’d be saving the future generations a lot of heartache with that action.

“Leila, he’s coming… he just had to stop by the studio for some shit. He doesn’t know when to stop working.” Demario sent a half smile my way, a smile that Adrianna went gaga over. She stared at him with stars in her eyes; clearly she was already falling for him. Demario seemed just as mesmerized by her. The couple held each other, not wanting to part for any reason. It was really cute. “You want me to call him?” He held up his I-Phone and waved it at me.

“Uh no!! I’m not desperate and I will not have you or anyone force him here. Now you guys go enjoy my party or utilize one of the guest rooms.” I winked at them, giggling. Someone needed to have a good time and it most definitely wasn’t going to be me. “That’s an order.”

“The guest rooms, huh?” Demario pulled Adrianna on his lap while she squealed with delight. She ate up all the attention she was getting from him. “Adrli, I think we’re gonna have to take advantage of that!”

She laughed again, placing her hand over his heart. They kissed quickly and I turned my head away. The two of them were definitely not going to make it up to a guest room. I shook my head and reached for the bottle of Hypnotiq.

Justin was no where in sight and the guy who was supposed to be one of his best friends, was. It was difficult to look at Demario and not think of Justin, especially when I was desperately trying to keep him out. I was quickly finding out that Justin invading my thoughts was inevitable. I’m going to quote Rihanna… and him now…. “It’s like I checked into Rehab and baby you’re my disease…”

“No! Demario you’re just going to have to behave yourself.” Adrianna placed a cute, quick kiss on his nose before standing up and walking over to me at the bar. She pulled the newly refilled glass out of my hand and dumped it down the stainless steel sink behind the bar. “And you are going to get alcohol poisoning at the rate your going.”

“I’m not a kid, Adri, I know my limit.” I shot back, though my words were a lie. For the most part, I wasn’t a big drinker. I splurged on the occasional drink, but not to the point of intoxication. I’m just a boring, good girl, no wonder why Justin ditched me once again.

“Yeah, sure.” She rolled her eyes in response. “Now come sit down and chill with us. Okay?”

I felt so stupid. Like a little kid who had to be reprimanded for sheer stupidity. I sighed and sat down on the love seat adjacent from Demario. I half smiled at him and leaned by head back against the cool leather. I wondered what he must have thought of me and what he was going to tell Justin about me.

I could picture the conversation between them, the two men laughing at how stupid I was. “Stupid Leila, look how young and gullible she is!” I visualized them clinking glasses filled to the brim with Jack and Coke and sparking up. A big celebration over how they had destroyed a girl. Clearly, I am delusional.

“Lala, answer the door!” Kyle’s voice trailed into the room. I opened my eyes with annoyance and struggled to get to my feet. Usually, once I’m down it’s most likely for the count. Demario watched me with amusement as he sat on the couch with a glass in his hand.

“Need some help there?”

“No thank you.” I pouted, no soon after did I fall to the ground with a thud. Adrianna smiled at me, trying to be courteous and not laugh in my face. I somehow managed to scramble to my feet and laughed with embarrassment. “It’s okay to laugh Adri, I know I’m retarded.”

“HA! You really are.” She said as she cracked up. I stumbled out of the room and down the hallway to the front door.

I didn’t bother to look at the various family portraits that hung on the wall. They were a painful memory of a family that would never be again. I could easily name each picture from memory, there was one of my parents, Kyle and I at our 8th grade graduation. Dorkiness galore for the two of us, in our cap and gowns with full on braces. My parents looked flawless, especially my Mother who always managed to look amazing.

In her day she was thought of as a fashion icon, a modern day Jackie O. Her status as first lady of Rock was utilized her powers for good as well. She was involved in so many charities; the one she was most passionate about was breast cancer awareness. Ironically that illness was her cause of death.

The last picture we took together was hanging over the foyer. It was at the Grammy’s where Kyle and my Father had both won Grammys. My Father for Album of the Year and Kyle for Best New Artist. My Mom had insisted on going, though she was undergoing chemotherapy. She was weak but still managed to look as beautiful as ever. Aiden was there as well, but he always felt so awkward with us. I mean he was the child my Dad had with some random groupie when he was young, which left him with issues of his own.

My Mom always tried to include Aiden in everything we did and most importantly pushed my Dad to be a better Father to him. Noah Jacobs’ idea of Fathering was throwing money at his kids. Money is always good but it doesn’t equal up to a parent’s love. It’s sad that my Mother never got to see that happen.

Two and a half years ago felt like so long…

Great, now I’m being an emotional drunk. Just hand me a guitar and some tissues, I’ll write my best song yet while looking like an asshole. Well, I’ll have the look like an asshole part down. I can’t guarantee anything else.

I opened the front door, frowning slightly from my dour train of thoughts. I nearly collapsed when I saw Justin standing in the doorway with that same cocky smile on his face. NOW HE DECIDED TO SHOW UP? I was just about steaming out the ears when I flung the door open and turned around to walk back to the bar, purposely swaying my hips more than usual.

I wasn’t even going to address him; I was just going to flaunt myself at him and make him regret messing with me. That stupid dick. How dare he come to my house looking so good? I tried pushing the mental image of him, looking so sexy in black pants, a grey shirt and black fedora, out of my mind. Of course, I just did the opposite and obsessed about how I could see the lines of his abs through his shirt.

I must have some mood disorder, how do I go from morose to turned on in two seconds? I swear, everything is his fucking fault.

Sitting down on the leather loveseat again, I crossed my legs and reached out to pet my brother’s pit bull boxer mix, Lexi. She plopped her ass down next to me on the couch, readily accepting the attention. Ha, at least someone enjoyed my affections.

“Sup J… I was wondering where the hell you were.” Demario slapped his hand against Justins. Why couldn’t Adrianna keep her man in check and tell him not to address the asshole? Yes, I’m unreasonable. It’s my tragic flaw.

“Sorry, I was at the studio working on something.” He held up a CD and I felt his eyes on me. I didn’t bother to look up; rubbing Lexi’s tummy was more interesting. Well, no it wasn’t but staring at Justin was going to ruin my concentration. I couldn’t afford to do that just yet. I needed a little more strength. “I think you’re really going to like it Leila.”

Now he was addressing me by name, I’d look like a bitch if I didn’t respond. There goes the gathering strength tactic, right out the fucking window. First, I glanced at Adrianna who just looked back at me blankly. I assumed she didn’t know how to asses this situation. Well, if I didn’t know and she didn’t, who the fuck was going to know?

“Oh really?” Our eyes locked as the words flew out of my mouth with forced confidence and nonchalance. Thankfully my heavy liquor intake helped it look semi realistic. I shifted my crossed leg, knowing the material of my already short dress was slinking its way up. I didn’t have to look down to know that an indecent amount of skin was being shown. “That’s great for you.”

His eyes trailed down my body, first staring at my exposed chest and then the generous amount of leg that was in plain sight. Good. My evil, genius plan was still in motion. Justin would have a hard on the size of Texas soon enough.

“Why don’t you sit here with me?” I smiled brightly at him, hoping that I’d come off slightly innocent.

Justin took the bait, hook, line and sinker. I bit my bottom lip to keep in the laughter that was dying to burst out. He walked over to me and went to sit in between me and Lexi. One important thing to know about Lexi is that she is insanely protective of me. Pretty much, I’m her owner, I take care of her when my brother’s on tour so she respects me for that. All someone has to do is come near me and she will readily rip their heads off.

This moment was no different. Justin walked over to me, exuding charm and confidence. He extended his arm along the back of the couch and inched his body down on the seat. That was all Lexi needed to see; she growled loudly and Justin jumped about a foot in the air. This time I couldn’t hide the smile on my face.

“LEXI! Bad girl!” I said and turned my face to the side. Lexi looked up at me incredulously and Justin seemed embarrassed for looking so startled. “I’m sorry Justin… she just doesn’t like strangers that much… do you baby?!” I stroked behind Lexi’s ear to which she happily rubbed against my hand.

“Oh… um…it’s cool.”

“G’ahead Lexi… go bother Kyle…” I nudged Lexi and she lazily got off the couch. She’s such a princess, she thinks she owns the house. Spoiled dog. If it was possible for her to shoot me a dirty look, I think she would have.

After Lexi got up, Justin sat down next to me on the couch. His arm, once again, swathed along the back of the couch. I tried to stop from laughing as I saw Adrianna smiling silly at me. It was a cue to turn the “sex appeal” up a notch. I turned and threw my legs across Justin’s lap.

“Justin, do you like my shoes?”

I pointed to my pumps but they seemed to be the absolute last thing on his mind. He drank in the image of my legs as they stretched from the side of the couch, along his lap. Justin swallowed hard and nodded; I felt like I was the most beautiful girl in the world. My confidence was slowly becoming real; I mean I had Justin drooling over me, I had to be somewhat good looking to pull that off.

Fuck… JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE WAS DROOLING OVER ME! I held in a girly scream and reminded myself that I still was going to mess with him. There was no way in hell that I was going to allow him to get off easy. HA! Double pun!

I purposely knocked the pillow onto the floor. It gave me the perfect opportunity to jump off the couch and tease Justin some more. Besides, Justin’s hand was closing in on my thigh; once he touched me I’d be sold. I just knew it.

“Whoops. I’m so stupid.” I swung my legs off of Justin and made contact with the parquet floor. I took two steps forward before bending down right in front of Justin to pick up the pillow. I lingered over the pillow longer than normal before I stood up again. I looked at Adrianna who was biting her lip in order to stop from laughing.

Justin’s reaction must have been priceless. I wished I had eyes in the back of my head! I hid the smile on my face and crossed my arms over my chest proudly. I was doing a damn good job of torturing him.

“Anyway… it’s kind of boring in here… you guys wanna go outside where the party’s at?”

“Definitely… we should so hit the hot tub up.” Adrianna jumped to her feet and pulled Demario up with her. Demario suddenly became wide eyed and started to laugh uncontrollably.

Uh? Did he realize that I was teasing Justin? What the hell was so funny? I spun on my heel to look at Justin who was behind me, looking slightly red. Okay, this joke was definitely over my head.

“Yo J… you pitching a tent in your pants or something?”

I looked down, my eyes resting at the crotch of Justin’s pants. What I saw was the most massive hard on I had ever laid eyes on. Before I even realized it, I snorted and quickly covered my mouth with my hand. The extra attention just made Justin’s annoyance grow, well as far as I could tell. My eyes were still glued to the outline of his cock.

“Bro what the fuck, there are hot girls around and I’m not gay.” Adjusting his dick, Justin smirked, mostly at me. Was he going to turn the tables on me now? Great. “And these hot girls think they’re cute with these little games there playing.”

“Games? What games?” I pretended to look shocked as Adrianna and I exchanged glances. She was amused as she hid her face in Demario’s shoulder

“Feigning ignorance really doesn’t suite you, Leila.” His hand met my ass cheek with a borderline hard slap. I jumped slightly and giggled, shoving him to the side. Of course, he barely budged, he instead leaned in close to me and whispered in my ear. “When I finally get you, you’re going to wish that you never played with me like this…”

His hot breath against my neck was enough to send chills down my spine. It was also enough to tell me that this situation was not good. I had to get him far away from me before I did something I might regret. I forced my legs that felt like gelatin to move. The backyard was a safe haven for me.

Yes, I know that teasing Justin was just asking for something, but seriously I’m getting second thoughts. I don’t want to be let down by him. Maybe pushing him away would be the best scenario for everyone? I guess I’d take a cue from him on that one.

*Justin* 

I followed Leila to the backyard becoming increasingly confused at the new turn of events. I was giving in to the temptation that was Leila Jacobs and now she was backing off? It was difficult but I kept up an act. Something to prove that nothing was wrong but my head was in a million different directions.

Wasn’t this what she wanted?

I figured that I deserved this though. It was probably her way of getting sweet revenge after I fucked with her head. Her revenge was working; I was horny as fuck after catching a glimpse of her after she bent over and now I wasn’t sure if I ever was going to get what I desired the most. Am I even making sense anymore?

What the fuck was wrong with me?

I silently sighed and dragged my feet to the yard. As soon as I walked behind Leila every eye turned to stare at me. I was used to the girls in bikinis drooling over me, they smiled at me, longing for sex and money. It was easy to see the dollar bills in their eyes. Fucking skank bitches, if I could I’d tear this fucking party up. But I couldn’t do that. The girls weren’t the only ones with their eyes on me.

Every fucking guy in that yard turned to gawk at me like I had a dick ten thousand feet long. Envious fucks. I rolled my eyes and readily accepted a Heineken from Leila. Eyes were burning holes into me left and right and all I could do was pretend that it wasn’t actually happening. There’s only so much one can take though.

Did I mention that the guys staring at me were pretty fucking terrifying? I mean I’m not a pussy, I can hold my own in a fight, but some of these guys looked like they walked out of a Marilyn Manson video. Fucking real life monsters or some shit. Leila’s brother Aiden, drummer and singer for the band In Vain, was probably the scariest of all. He was glaring at me from across the yard with this look of hate.

Aiden Jacobs stood tall at 6’5”, approximately four inches taller than me, although his mohawk gave him an added two inches. He stroked the long chin beard as he stared at me with maniacal look in his eyes. He was filled with piercings and tattoos; Aiden looked like a stereotypical rocker. I sent a nervous smile his way and then turned my attention back at Leila.

“So I totally don’t feel awkward and out of place…”

She laughed and shook her head at me. “Yep, I totally feel like that at every single one of my brothers’ parties.”

“So remind me why we’re here again? Let’s go to my place and throw our own party.” I smirked at her and brought the green bottle to my lips. The yellow liquid stung my throat as I swallowed it down in a few large gulps. Before I knew it the bottle was empty and I was sure that it was going to be one of many for the night.

“I’m here because I want to be… you tell me why you’re here.”

“I’m here cause I wanna be near you.” I licked my lips, unintentionally shooting game at her. Demario laughed loudly from across the party; somehow he heard what I said. I rolled my eyes. “Go do your girl and shut up.”

Leila snickered and slapped my arm. Demario shrugged at us with a smirk; just as quickly as he spoke up, he disappeared back into the house with Adrianna. Lucky bastard, he was going to do what I was dying to do with Leila. I feel like such an idiot about this, no girl has made me feel this way since I was 15 years old. I mean when the fuck had I ever had a doubt about getting with a girl? Either the apocalypse is fucking coming or I’m losing my edge. I’m banking on the apocalypse theory because yeah, I’ll never lose my edge.

I’d be the next Hugh Hefner if I could.

“So you wanna be near me? Why does that sound like a line to me?” Leila rolled her eyes with a smirk. She leaned against the cooler and crossed her arms over her chest. If it wasn’t for her stupid brother gawking at me, I would have proved to her why it wasn’t a line.

“Trust me, it’s not. If we were alone, I’d show you how it’s not, but for now you’ll just have to believe me.” I wanted to go into more detail, but her brother was glaring at me hard. It was impossible to not pay attention either; the look on his face was easy to read, he wanted me away from his sister.

I could have laughed in his fucking face. Not happening buddy, so learn to deal with it.

“Well, tell me how it’s not a line then.”

“I would but your brother is looking at me like he wants to bash my head against the concrete.”

“And are you that scared of him?” Rolling her eyes, she hopped up on the table and reached for a bottle of corona. She already seemed pretty intoxicated and I liked it. When Leila was drunk she didn’t have a care in the world, she wasn’t as jittery and nervous as usual. Sometimes I liked that side of her, but I was also fond of her ability to kick back.

“I’m not fucking scared of him but I don’t want to instigate.” I replied as she attempted to open the bottle with her hands. She flinched as the jagged edged around the top scrapped the palms of her delicate hands. Pouting, she gave up and handed it to me to open. I tried not to laugh at her as I easily popped the cap and handed it to her.

“Listen, I don’t care what he has to say so neither should you. Demario is totally right about you being a pussy.” Leila took a sip of the corona and then made a disgusted face. “Ew I don’t even like beer…. You take it.”

She hopped off the table and turned her back to me. Her already short dress was riding higher than usual. That was all it took to keep my attention, my already raging hard on throbbed. I wanted to fuck her already; these stupid games were way past ridiculous. I knew what I wanted and now I just had to find a way to get it.

If she were at my house, I’d already have her legs spread and she’d probably be on her second or third orgasm. Yeah, I’m not shy when it comes to my skills. I’ve never left even one woman unsatisfied, Leila won’t be the one to break my flawless track record either.

“Now where are you going?” I sighed, not wanting to run after her. The entire party seeing the problem in my pants would be extremely humiliating. Leila turned around and faced me, sending a smug shrug my way.

“To go tell my brother that you think he’s giving you dirty looks. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.” She beamed at me and went to turn again. That little bitch was starting trouble! I grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her towards me quickly. She stumbled and fell almost into my arms.

“Leila.”

“Yes?”

“You aren’t cute.”

She laughed almost in my face. “Maybe, but I’m having fun with this anyway.”

Leila wasn’t able to make it to her brother, instead he made his way towards us with a girl trailing behind him. I stiffened and immediately let Leila out of my grasp. I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that this was NOT going to be good at all.  Actually, my stomach wasn’t the only reason that asserted that, the death glare in Aiden’s eyes was what really put the icing on the cake.

“What’s up guys?” He stated calmly, looking at Leila and completely ignoring my presence. I guess it was a step in the right direction; he could have easily broken my nose if he wanted to.

“Hi Aiden.” Leila smiled and stood on her toes so she could place a kiss on his cheek. I assumed she was trying to butter him up so he wouldn’t freak out.

“You have a friend here, Lei?”

“Duh.” She laughed at him incredulously and shoved his arm. Oh how the mighty had fallen, Aiden Jacobs actually cracked a smile.

“Hey stop with the physical abuse! I was just checking.”

It was mildly amusing to watch someone like Aiden Jacobs play around with his little sister. Seemingly, she had him in the palm of her hand. Was that how it was with her entire family? Did she have them all fooled into thinking she was some innocent good girl? That would be pretty fucking funny considering that is not at all who she is. Leila can surprise even me sometimes when it comes to her sexuality.

Rustling Leila’s blonde tresses, Aiden seemed to find some ease in the situation. “Come here, I want you to do the scream for Paul and Carl.”

“NO! Aiden, not now!” She started to turn a shade of pink. I quickly became curious to hear what this “scream” was. If it was what I was thinking, then Leila could easily have some sort of metal edge. Definitely shocking to see in someone so bubbly and tiny.

“Lala, come on. Do it just once and I won’t bug you anymore.” Aiden dragged her over to a group of similar looking “rocker” guys. Leila looked like she wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I laughed with amusement and took a sip of the corona that she had decided that she didn’t want. She could dish the embarrassment but she couldn’t take it? Now that was karma at work.

“Hey Justin…” At the sound of my name, I turned and came face to face with a red head that I had become familiar with over the last two months. Callie stared back at me with a smile forming on her cherry red lips. I remembered what she could do with those lips… how she nursed my cock in her mouth….

FUCK FUCK FUCK! My fuck buddy and potential girlfriend in the same place was NOT a good thing at all. I hid any sign of emotion and simply nodded at her. I wasn’t going to focus my attention on Callie when Leila was a few feet away. I’d just ignore her and hope she’d take the hint.

Clearly, I am not that lucky.

“Haven’t heard from you in a few days…”

“I’ve been busy.” I said, looking at Leila who was being coaxed to sing by her brother. If I didn’t look at Callie it wouldn’t constitute as a conversation.

“That’s not like you at all, J.” She was right and there was no hiding that. Callie knew well that I had to have pussy often to be satisfied. “Are you getting it from someone else?”

“No.” I laughed dryly. If only that were the case.

When things went wrong with Leila, I tried to sate my desire for her by sleeping with as many random women as I could. They were all spitting images of Leila, curvaceous, long haired blondes that looked like her but truly weren’t her. Instead of helping, each girl just made me feel that much worse about ending things with her, even if it was for her own protection.

“Then what is your deal?” Her eyes were burning into the side of my face but I refused to look over at her. I scratched the back of my head and stood awed as a guttural growl emerged from the depths of Leila’s throat.

She had quite the depth to her voice! GOD! If I was into rock, I’d totally push her to get into that style of music. She definitely has a growl that can rival a lot of the men in the business. Fuck, she’d be a superstar, not only for her good looks but her ability to hold her own. I smiled at Leila who was being praised by everyone around her.

“Um hello, Justin?”

“Callie, I don’t have a problem, I just haven’t been in the mood to fuck… damnit, you need to just chill.” I was going to need the fattest blunt after this so I could chill.

“You are totally sprung on Noah Jacobs’ daughter, aren’t you?

My neck could have snapped with how fast I turned to look at Callie. This stupid bitch was not going to get off assuming shit and then running her mouth. I’d crack her across the face if that was going to be the case. Don’t think I’m afraid to hit a slut; a woman is a different story but not a gutter ball hoe like her.

“Hey… Callie, why don’t you shut your fucking mouth about things you don’t know anything about, alright?”

“Oh my God… I never thought I’d see the fucking day.” Callie went on to laugh, rather cackle. I didn’t find this fucking amusing at all. Instead, I prayed that Leila would hurry the fuck back here and tell this wench where to go. I wasn’t going to do so myself and cause an unnecessary scene. All I needed was more attention on me.

Leila looked over at me and I gave her a pleading glance. My girl isn’t stupid, she knows when something’s up. It took her less than a few seconds to make her way back over to us. Unfortunately her brother followed her so there was irritation in her arrival.

“Hey…sorry about that.” Leila linked her arm with mine; I guess it was her way of staking her claim on me. Oh the things she was doing to my already huge ego…

“Not a problem.”

I smiled at her, knowing quite well that this “touching” reunion was not going to last much longer. Aiden clearly wanted me away from his sister and out of this house. Someone had to tell that guy that we don’t always get what we want and it was just going to be me. I get off on things like getting my way. I’m sick like that.

“Leila, you coming back over?”

“No, Aiden I’m busy right now.” She flipped her hair and looked at me with the slightest grin. What a little rebel she was, standing up to her brother for me. I returned a smile and all thoughts of Callie were wiped from my mind.

“Alright Leila.” By the tone of his voice, it was clear that he was infuriated. He grabbed Callie by the arm and I tried not to laugh. It figured that she couldn’t go a few days without dick. Stupid bitch had to run for the first sign of money. If Aiden knew better he’d hump and dump her.

As I was lost in my thoughts, something unexpected happened. Callie, who was drinking something out of a plastic cup, turned and threw her drink all over Leila. Leila looked stunned as the liquid, ice and all, made its way down the front of her dress. I knew Callie well enough to know that this was no accident; she was petty when it came down to staking claim to what was hers.

Callie viewed Leila as an obstacle, both to her claim on me and now Aiden. Both of us paid more attention to Leila then we really did to her. Callie was like a little child trying to get attention by acting out.

“Whoops… I’m so sorry hun!”

“It’s fine…” She sighed, biting her bottom to keep from unleashing what I assumed to be fury. “I’m going to go change… uh Justin, De is probably inside if you want to go find him in the meantime.”

Nodding, I shot a glare at Callie and went to follow Leila inside. I wanted to laugh when I heard Aiden call behind her.

“Leila, don’t fucking take too long.” Aiden must have been annoyed at the idea of his little sister in the house with me, big bad Justin. Did he think I was going to rape her or something? You can’t rape the willing buddy.

Swaying her hips, Leila walked into the house towards her staircase. Every step she took was mesmerizing. I could stare at her round ass all day as it bounced from side to side. That dress just needed to come the fuck off. I needed to put my face in between her tits and lick off the liquid that had soaked her. Through my perverted fantasies, I was also wondering why Leila hadn’t harassed me with questions about Callie. It’s kind of sick of me but I wanted her to be jealous.

She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and leaned against the wooden railing. “Demario is probably busy with Adrianna, so you can just wait around here… I think I’m going to shower… I’m so sticky.” Leila ran her fingertips across the cleavage, gathering a few of the droplets of liquor and bringing it to her lips. She parted her lips slightly; her pink tongue peeked out of her mouth and darted around the fingertip. “… So yeah I’ll be in the nice hot shower, getting naked and rubbing soap all over me so I can get this stickiness off… and you… well, you can stay here and think all about that.”

My mouth dropped at what I just heard and saw. This was little innocent Leila? Why the fuck was she doing this to me? She bounced up the stairs, that little piece of fabric she called a dress, moved all over the place, giving me glimpses of things I have been dreaming about since the party at my house.

If Leila thought she’d win this game she had another thing coming…she was no longer going to be unattainable. She was going to be obtained.

Chapter 13

“It's not so easy loving me
It gets so complicated
All the things you've gotta be
Everything's changin
But you're the truth
I'm amazed by all your patience
Everything I put you through”-

 “Save Me From Myself” by Christina Aguilera

**Justin**

 I walked up the stairs after a minute or so, a smirk clearly visible on my face. I knew what was coming next and I’d be damned if anyone stood in the way of it. Leila wanted to play the teasing game? Good, I’d gladly play; she just didn’t know that she was dealing with the fucking master.

I looked around, hoping that no one would see me. It was a clear cut fact that if any of Leila’s brothers saw me creeping around the upstairs to their home, I’d be castrated on sight. I like my dick too much to even thinking about losing it. I probably was going to love it the minute it was in Leila, but that’s another fucking story that would hopefully come true in the next 15 or so minutes.

When I reached the top of the stairs, I looked around in confusion. There were about seven doors I could go through to take me to where I wanted to go. I swallowed hard and walked to the first door, a light tan wooden door that would either get me caught or bring me to the girl I wanted to be in… ha or with.

Inhaling deeply, I pushed open the door and just about died laughing. There went my stealth. I mean it wasn’t like I wanted to walk in on Demario and Adrianna pretty much fucking in what I assumed was a guest room. Okay, maybe it didn’t disappoint me to see Adrianna’s tight body, but that was it!

“Whoops, my bad.” 

“OH MY GOD! DEMARIO, I THOUGHT YOU LOCKED THE DOOR!!” Adrianna screamed, smacking Demario on the arm as she covered herself with a sheet.

“I fucking thought I did!” Demario was clearly annoyed, but oh well, he’d just have to deal.

I turned around now that I couldn’t see Adrianna. What was the point of looking now, anyway?

“Sorry but I was just looking for Leila’s room.”

Adrianna huffed. “Last room at the end of the hall.” I seriously always broke up all their sexy, intimate moments. Demario must have wanted to kill me by this point. Oh well, served him right for not locking the door. I’d be double and triple checking that shit whenever I could.

I closed the door without looking back and headed towards an important destination, Leila’s bedroom. I walked down the hall with sly movements. Fuck, I had a lot of practice from dancing and sneaking out of girl’s bedrooms the morning after. Think what you want about me, but sometimes you just have to do stuff like that. Girls get clingy and they don’t understand a one night stand, even when it hits them in the face. I’ve had my share of crying girls not getting why I didn’t want to marry them the next day.

Thankfully, Leila isn’t like that. She’s not the type to pressure me, although for once in a long time, I actually want to try a relationship out. It’s ridiculous, I mean I’m 26 years old and I’m terrified of getting serious with a 20 year old? That’s pretty sad considering Leila doesn’t have a single reservation about it. I guess it was time for me to take a cue from her considering she has my maturity level and then some.

I was outside the room I believed to be Leila’s bedroom and a smug smile crossed my face. Leila was not going to get away with teasing me like that. I wasn’t going to let her out of my grasp until she was screaming my name over and over as an orgasm rocked her body. I licked my lips at the pleasant thought and lowered my hand to doorknob. Gently I twisted my hand and… nothing happened.

I just about kicked the fucking door down when I realized that it was locked. Leila thought she could keep me out after that debacle? It would take death to keep me from her tonight. I knelt down in front of the door and wondered how I could get it without causing a scene. I needed one of those “Locking Picking for Dummies” books right about then.

I moved my hat off my head and scratched the top of my forehead. Couldn’t you unlock a door with a credit card? I was tempted to go ask someone but that would defeat the purpose of sneaking in.

Well, now that I was beyond frustrated, both at the situation and sexually. I guess a mixture of that was what made me do what I did next; I climbed to my feet and in a quick gesture I rammed my side against the door, instantly unlocking it and probably breaking it. Ha, if there was some money I’d have to pay for getting what I wanted then so be it. I’m just used to getting what I want and this was not going to be an exception to the rule.

I walked into the room and close the now broken door behind me. I can hear the faint sounds of her singing filling the room as well as the shower running. I couldn’t help but smirk at the vision in my head of her in the shower, dripping wet. God, it’s only fitting that our first kiss and our first sexual encounter would be in water.

I sense a pattern… a really, really fucking good one.

Creeping towards the bathroom, I didn’t take the time to examine Leila’s bedroom. I just knew it was incredibly feminine. I was sure that if I did get a good look, I’d see remains of her childhood astray. Pictures of her and her friends, stuffed animals, probably even a trophy or two; Leila is the sentimental type so I could see her keeping everything like a little pack rat.

“I want you to want me. I need you to need me. I'd love you to love me, I'm beggin' you to beg me!!” Came from inside the white bathroom door. I chuckled to myself at Leila’s singing; it was funny how innocent she could be one minute and the next she was anything but.

It was hard not to wonder if Leila was just all talk. I clearly had made her upset so it was only natural for her to want to get back at me? Too bad her plan was not going to work. I couldn’t reiterate that enough. I’d spend enough time fantasizing about Leila, it was about time to make it a reality.

The bathroom door was open, so I easily made my way in. I just about jumped into the shower and blow my cover when I saw Leila, completely naked and drenched. The water was flowing down her back like dozens of tiny rivers, I wanted her to turn around so I could see everything. This was just nice, looking at her and she wasn’t typically shy and blushing. Granted, she had no idea that I was ogling but still. 

I licked my bottom lip at the sight, completely mesmerized at her astonishing beauty. Of course, I’d seen her body before, when I was intoxicated and I thought she was nothing but hot, right now she was just gorgeous.

She ran the soap filled loofa over her chest, her eyes still closed as she sang the rest of the ”Letters to Cleo” song. Leila Jacobs is just indescribable; adorable in every way and still sexy. She has the girl next door appeal that just kept drawing me to her.

This was just dangerous, because like I said before, Leila is the type of woman you settle down with. Would I be ready to settle down with her? Would the pure need for her be enough to fuel me? I wasn’t sure, and as scared as I was about everything, I just couldn’t back away from her. I took a deep breath and locked the bathroom door behind me without a sound.

Damn everyone and everything, I liked this girl, so let the chips fall where they may. I was done being scared of consequences. It was time to step up.

I walked closer to the glass shower door; the steam was making it almost impossible to see. Leila must have had the water on scalding hot. It was about to get a lot hotter in that bathroom.

I stripped off my clothes, unable to take my eyes of her. She continued to sing and move her body around in a way which looked like dancing. It was nice to see that she had balance and didn’t fall on her face when she danced in a slippery tub. Let’s see if she still had balance after I got through with her…

Soundlessly, I opened the glass door and climbed into the shower. Leila still hadn’t noticed me, she just continued rinsing her lathered up body with her back to me. I smirked to myself; this was my chance to make the fantasies of the last month of my life a reality. I fought any last feelings of hesitation and acted on my desires. I closed the gap between Leila and I. She gasped as I wrapped my arms around her slim torso and pulled her soft body to mine.

“I got tired of waiting around and thinking about you…I had to come see for myself.” I whispered in her ear. She shuddered at my touch, her façade of being in complete control had disappeared and I loved it. As much as it turned me on that she was taking initiative, I liked to be the one calling the shots.

“How did you get in here?” She asked startled.

“I broke your door down.”

“You what?!” She turned to stare at me with wide eyes. I laughed quietly at her irrational agitation and brushed my fingertips along the length of her lower back. Of all the things for her to be worried about, like the two of us naked in the shower, she fucking picked her broken door?

“I’ll fix it later.” I replied dismissively. I stared straight into her green-blue mixed eyes, awed at how beautiful she was. She’d have to be insane if she didn’t see that.

Her insecurity kicked in at perfect timing when her eyes shifted to the running water. Leila’s usually pink cheeks brightened even more than usual. I lifted her chin up so I could look at her beautiful face. She had this angelic, renaissance type beauty, the kind you expect to see in a Michelangelo painting, not in real life.

“You are so beautiful.” I traced a path from her cheek to her collarbone, my eyes never leaving her face.

It’s amusing how with any other girl I’d probably be fucking them senseless by that point. It’s just different with Leila. I get caught up in making sure that she’s okay. I’m scared to push her; I’m scared to hurt her. That’s like a first for me because according to mostly everyone, I’m pretty much a selfish bastard. She’s changing me and I guess I liked that. I was always used to make fun of the good guys, but maybe I secretly always wanted to be one.

I don’t know. My life isn’t predictable anymore, another thing to fear.

“Are you just saying I’m beautiful to seal the deal?” She asked warily. I shook my head and chuckled lightly.

“Leila, we’re pretty much naked in front of each other, I think it’s safe to say that the deal is sealed.” My hand fell from her collarbone down the edges of her body, tracing her shape. I rested my hand on her hip and bit my lip. “I’m telling you that you’re beautiful because you are. I don’t understand how you don’t see that.”

She made the initiative now; she leaned up on her toes and pressed her lips to mine. I smiled through the kiss, snaking my arm around her waist and once again pulled her dripping wet body to mine. My eyes were closed tightly as I kissed the girl that drove me mad with a million different emotions. She captivated me and fuck, it was scary. It’s usually the other way around and that’s what made this situation so difficult for me.

But I loved it at the same time. It was such a new and different feeling. It was like reliving my first crush all over again.

“Justin…” Leila had pulled away from our kiss and was staring up into my eyes so vulnerably. It pulled on my heartstrings. “I really like you… so just please don’t hurt me.”

How could I ever even think about hurting her? That was just absurd. A thought that should never run across her mind ever again. Fuck, when did I become a romantic? “I know people say a lot of fucked up shit about me… and honestly, the majority of it is true. But it’s different with you. Leila. I like you too…”

She was so insecure but my words seemed to soothe her slightly. She kissed me once again and leaned against her beige tile wall. Leila pulled me against her and kissed me with fervor. The taste of her mouth was sweet, absolutely delicious. It made me crave her in different ways. My mind was set; I had to have her there and then.

I kissed her savagely and grabbed a hold of her smooth legs; I wrapped them around my waist, holding her weight up by her ass. I never broke from our kiss, instead I kissed her harder, our tongues dancing around each other. I sighed into her mouth, oddly content with just holding her and kissing her.

Leila changes me; when I’m around her, I feel like its okay to be me; the silly, cheesy guy that can sometimes attempt to be romantic. Granted, I’ve fucked up a lot and the egoistical part of me wins the battle, but there has been some change. As gay as it is to say, I just feel safe around her. She makes it easy for me to just say “fuck everything.”

Like what I did next even shocked me. I’m not one to care if the girl I’m with is ready or willing, but there I went asking the question that had me on pins and needles. I pulled away from the kiss once more, my hands still gripping onto her supple ass. She stared at me dizzied; if I didn’t know better I’d say intoxicated. What could she be intoxicated from? Me?

Stranger has happened…

“Do you want to do this?”

She looked at me with a raised eyebrow, clearly taken back by my question. “You ask that after you barge into my shower and start making out with me?”

“Yes…. Yes I do.” There was a pause and I urged her to continue with my eyes. When she didn’t I huffed audibly. “Well?”

“I’m still stunned that you asked such a stupid question. Of course I want to do this Justin. Your ass would have been out in the street if I didn’t.”

“Ok good.” I replied and kissed her lips gently. I moved one of my hands from the position on her ass. Slowly I trailed across her hip to the destination I had been craving to touch, to be inside. “No more interruptions now, I promise.”

“There better not be any.” She smiled, her voice slightly hoarse as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I brushed my fingers along her wet inner folds and she sighed, resting her head on my chest. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to feel you touch me.”

“Trust me, I do.”

Her pussy was so wet, and it only grew wetter as I touched her. I wasn’t sure what to look at, my fingers delicately massaging her clit or the look of absolute pleasure on her face. Was there even a need for foreplay at this stage in the game? I could barely control myself, I just wanted to tear my fingers away and thrust my cock inside her.

I refused to let that happen. I had to have self control when it came to Leila. She was so delicate and obviously tight. As wet as she was, I’d probably hurt the girl if I did something like that. I had to get her ready for me before any more fun could take place. That’s not me being arrogant either, I am well equipped and I thank God for that every day. I’m long and more importantly, thick. Girls don’t realize that thickness is more important than length.

One digit disappeared inside her and she panted. My cockiness of course had to kick in; the affect I had on her was so sexy. All I had to do was touch her gently and she’d audibly show me what it did to her. My index finger disappeared and reappeared as I slowly moved it in and out of Leila’s cunt; the moisture and heat increasing with every flick of my finger.

Her arms clung tightly to my back as her hips buckled against my hand. I smirked again, adding a second finger inside her. My anticipation was building, I wanted her ready now. I added another finger inside her and began pushing them in and out of her wet heat at a quicker pace. I wanted my dick to be doing these things to her, not my hand.

“Do you like that, girl? Do you like when I finger fuck your little pussy?” I whispered in her ear, purposely flicking the bundle of nerves along her wall. Leila practically screamed out yes. Hearing her moan was just too much for me, I ripped my fingers out of her and positioned my cock at her entrance.

Leila was panting as she stared at me, her eyes filled with lust, the pure need for me. This wasn’t a young girl staring at me, it was an experienced woman, wanting nothing but to milk every drop of cum from me. Beads of pre-cum were already forming on my tip as I pressed it against the inch long slit. This was it, the moment I had been dreaming of. I was going to fuck the girl of my dreams and God fucking help anyone that ruined this for me. For us.  

I leaned in to taste her lips as I pushed my way inside her. Leila’s back was practically glued to the wall, her arms wrapped tightly around my shoulders. My cock was half way inside her, let me tell you, this girl was tighter than I could have imagined. If I didn’t know better I would have thought her to be a virgin.

“Uhn…J-Justin.” She stuttered against my lips, her voice gentle and airy. I don’t understand how someone could be a sexual minx but still innocent at the same time.

I pushed in and out of her gently, allowing her to get used to my size. The sound of her voice, breathing out my name tried my patience. I wanted nothing more than to start fucking her as hard as I could. Again, I had to be patient. We’d both thank me for that in the end.

I seized her bottom lip between my teeth and tugged it lightly. I was gripping her inner thighs, holding her in place as I moved. I wanted her to grow restless, I wanted her to tell me how she wanted it. I wanted Leila to think she had control, and then I’d rip it from her. Like everything about our twisted relationship, this was another game.

“You are going to kill me, girl.” I said through heavy breaths. My cock was buried deep inside her, almost to the hilt. I couldn’t even begin to explain the pleasure, her walls constricting me, acting like a second skin to my shaft.

She ground her hips against mine, letting me know she was ready for me. I kissed her mouth, her cheek and finally her neck. I wanted to mark her, to let her know that she belonged to me after today. There was no fucking way that she couldn’t be mine after what was happening.

Jealousy bubbled inside me at the thought of her being with anyone else but me. That was very uncharacteristic of me, when it came to women, I let them have free reign. Leila was different, my feelings for her were different, so it was obvious that my reactions just had to be distinct.

Without haste, our hips collided with force and Leila’s mouth opened, letting out what I thought was a silent scream. Fuck the silence, I wanted to hear her moan and scream, I wanted to know that she liked everything I was doing to her. I’d be damned if she wasn’t hollering my name when she was cumming.

“Let it go, Leila… don’t be shy… let me know how much you… uh fuck… like it.” I breathed against her neck; my tongue peaked out of my mouth and brushed against her tender skin. She jumped at the touch, mewing slightly at the feeling. Through all of this, I never missed a beat, I continued pumping our bodies at a steady pace. I spread her legs wider, gripping her inner thighs while I held her in place against the wall.

“I… l-l-love it…” She barely got out before I took her by surprise. I grazed her neck with my teeth and she gasped loudly. Leila was absolute putty in my hands. Most guys would think there wasn’t much of a challenge in that, but I absolutely loved it.

Every moan was just more of a submission to me.

I bit down on her neck, hard enough to leave a mark but gentle enough for her to enjoy it. And she did enjoy it. Ever so gently, she whimpered in my ear. If I could possibly grow harder, I would have.

I began pumping in and out of her, increasing my pace as well as the force behind my thrusts. I cursed under my breath, the feeling so intense. I never wanted this feeling to end. Fuck, everything about her had me hypnotized; her moans, her banging body, her tight cunt. I clenched my eyes shut tightly, her hands smoothly gliding along my wet chest.

I pictured how we must look, soaking wet bodies, smacking into each other with pure need. It was true, after all the unspoken want, the tension, the teasing and torturing, we just needed to have each other. I hadn’t waited to sleep with a girl since my first girlfriend, Danielle; granted I was 15 and inexperienced. I just never respected a girl enough to wait…

Until now. Fuck, I never even tried to avoid getting with a girl that I clearly wanted. She was different, I knew that from the moment I met her and now I was claiming her. Fuck my fears. Fuck everyone that wanted us apart.

“You are so fucking beautiful…uhh…fuck…” I practically hissed out as I bit down on my bottom lip. I moved my hand down to where we were fused together, my fingers tracing where I ended and she began. “You’re mine…”

She opened her eyes and met mine; surprise was written all over her face. Surprised but I knew she fucking loved it. Her pussy clenched around my cock and I groaned. I couldn’t take it anymore. I steadied my hand against the cool tile wall, practically pounding her into the wall. She was definitely going to have the marks of our sexual encounter, but I didn’t care and neither did she.

“I am,” Her words sounded like a question more than a statement. I ignored her insecurity and kissed her lips hard. Her nails scratched down my hard abdomen, it only fueled me to kiss her hard and pump her pussy harder. I was slowly reaching my peak and I’d be damned if we didn’t cum together. I was going to make it fucking happen.

Leaning down to her tits, I captured her right nipple in my mouth and sucked hard. I took the nub between my teeth and grazed it. I marked her for a third time, biting on her nipple so she’d feel pleasure and pain. This was when she began to beg me.

“Unn… Justin! Please…” She moaned, violently thrashing her hips against mine. I grinned, it wasn’t hard for Leila to give me complete control.

I smirked as I gently brushed against her clit. “Do you want me to make you cum?”

She barely was able to shudder out a response, though it could have been because the water was growing colder, I knew it was because I rolled her clit between my fingers and expertly pounded her tight hole with my thick cock. She was just about screaming, her pussy clenching me tightly, it was almost impossible to move. I loved it.

I couldn’t control my orgasm nor my movements. Our bodies were audibly crashing and she was moaning incoherently. Her walls contracted and relaxed around my dick and before I knew it, she was cumming hard. She was panting my name over and over as her chest heaved, her nipples rubbing against my moist skin.

That was all it took. I was sent over the edge, cumming inside her hard. It fucking felt like I was cumming forever. My body shook as I let go, expelling my hot juice deep inside her pussy. I hadn’t realized that I was gasping for air. I took a second to catch my breath and then smirked as I stared at Leila Jacob’s pretty face.

I captured her pink lips for a hard kiss. Listening to my body and betraying my mind never felt so good.

**Leila**

I don’t know how it just happened and I really don’t care, but my back in pinned against the wall and Justin is inside me, kissing me hard. It’s mind boggling, I just had sex with Justin fucking Timberlake in my shower. From one second to the next, my confidence in everything had been shaken. I was so sure that I wasn’t going to have sex with Justin anytime soon, if at all.

I’m not exactly sure what the moral of this all is, but I’m guessing it means that I shouldn’t be so sure about everything? Obviously that is the case because as of now, I’m probably one of the most clueless people to walk the earth. Okay, I’m exaggerating, but that doesn’t make me any less confused!

“Leila?” The familiar voice of my brother Kyle made me go completely stiff. Here I was hoping for a round two with Justin. I pulled back from the kiss and searched his face for an answer of what to do. He didn’t seem particularly nervous, instead he smiled that same arrogant smile that made me weak in the knees.

Those abilities are really unfair.

“I’m in the shower Kyle!” I answer back as nonchalant as I could, on the inside I was freaking out. I was about to be caught with my hand in the cookie jar, or Justin’s hand in my cookie jar? Whatever, his dick was still inside me and we were naked in the shower. Not a good sight for my twin brother to see!

“Okay sorry… Aiden made me go check on you. He thinks you’re going to go do something skanky, like fuck someone who thinks they’re bringing sexy back.” He scoffed with a laugh. “We all know that person is delusional, along with YOUR brother.”

Justin was silently laughing which pleased me because I truly thought he’d get angry if he heard one of my brothers go off like that. But the pleased part didn’t have time to stick around, with Aiden suspecting me, I had to be really careful around the house. Either that or get the fuck out of here.

Seriously, my brothers are rich, why the fuck do they still live at home? Oh yeah, because they’re frugal and LOVE TO TORTURE ME!

“Kyle, you and Aiden both need to lie down in the middle of a highway and stay there. Some bitch spilled a drink on me.” I huffed through the still closed door and pouring water, still clinging onto Justin’s back. Seriously, couldn’t he just fuck me again so that these crazy thoughts would be out of my mind?

That’s exactly what happened when we had sex too. My mind was so encompassed by him that every reason of why I should be staying no to him just didn’t register. To be honest, I didn’t want it to register. I just wanted to believe the nice things he said, I wanted to hope that we could be together and that my family would just be okay with that. It wasn’t much of a long shot, right? Justin’s a nice guy… he is not an asshole…

Right?!

“Chill chill… finish your shower and join the normal people again.” He stated. I had such a witty response to that too, but I held my tongue. The faster he disappeared, the faster just and I could… uh finish?

Justin looked at me amused, still holding onto my waist so we were practically glued together. “I’m delusional?”

“Of course you are.” I couldn’t help but grin at the look on his face. It was completely infectious. I kissed his lips again gently and looked at him. “By the way, if you ever tell me I kiss like I’m eating someone out again, I’ll kick your ass.”

“Deal.” He grinned widely, his eyes crinkling at the edges. “Now can we get out of the shower before we permanently prune up?”

“Definitely,” I giggled. Justin pulled his dick out of me that had given me so much pleasure for the past hour. I was almost disappointed to have it exit me, but there was always later, right?

Slowly my feet touched the ground and I reached over to turn off the quickly cooling water. I loved my showers hot and by far, this was the hottest shower I’d ever had. Yeah, that sounds cliché and like something that came out of a porno, but I’m fucking serious. I’ve never had sex in a way which felt so good before. With the two other guys I was with, I was never screaming like that. Not to mention I’d never cum that hard in my life. God, he was fucking skilled when it came to that. I just wanted more.

Who would have ever thought that I’d be so perverted and want sex so badly?

I climbed out of the tub and wrapped a towel around myself. Justin followed behind me, tugging at the towel so he could come in with me. I giggled and readily opening the towel; Justin stepped closer, our bodies once again touching. I shivered gently, looking right into his face.

“Cold?”

“No… I’m perfect,” I smiled.

“As much as I’d like to turn this into something similar to our shower escapades, I think we need to chill. I don’t need your brothers castrating me. I think we both know that my cock happens to be a very important asset to us.”

That cocky bastard, I laughed knowing perfectly well that his words were true. I mean, I hated to feed into his ego, but come the hell on. That sex was mind blowing. I’d be lying if I said that I’d never want it again. That would truly be horrific.

“Yes, we both know that.” I said, giggling. I handed him his own towel and placed one last kiss on his lips before I went off to get myself dressed.

I opened the drawer to my antique white armoire. Nerves forced me to grab the first set of comfortable clothes in sight, which ended up being a pair of blue plaid Victoria’s Secret Pink collection boxers and a white tank. Sexy but not over the top; it was a really good choice on short notice.

“I’m sorry I totally don’t have anything you’d fit into. I’d offer you something of my brother’s but I’m taking a valid guess in saying that you really wouldn’t want that.”

“Good guess.” He grinned at me brilliantly. “Nah, it’s cool, I’ll wear my clothes for now. Maybe later we’ll go back to my place… if you want that is.”

I slipped my clothes on after drying myself thoroughly. Justin was already dressed in boxers and his fitted grey t-shirt. His signature air of cockiness was present even though he was trying to feign innocence. It was safe to say that I was growing to find his arrogance endearing. I liked that through his words of exaggerated uneasiness, he knew well that I would do whatever he asked of me. Call me whipped, whatever you want, but I was happy like this.

And as far as I could tell so was he. My fairytale could not have a miserable ending. I wouldn’t let it.

“Of course I will.”

“Good… now come here. I think we could squeeze in a little make out session for the time being.” 

Like any sane girl, I ran at the first chance to kiss him. I practically jumped into his arms and we collapsed on my bed. Me in a fit of giggles, he rolled me onto my back, his fingertips gliding across the slight exposed skin between my shorts and tank top. Justin was kissing me sweetly, landing tiny kissed on the corners of my mouth.

I was in absolute heaven. Kissing the dream guy that was almost my boyfriend; simply amazing. His hand began to creep down the front of my shorts, I was guessing that our vow to avoid a round two was out of the picture.

Well that was until Demario barged in my room. “Excuse me, I just like to rudely interrupt people’s bonin’. Seriously, forgive me for being a giant cock block.” He said sarcastically as Justin looked over at his friend, stunned.

It was safe to say that I was just as confused, if not more.

“Guys, I’m sorry… De wanted revenge.” Adrianna bounced in after Demario and stopped in mid tracks. “De, they aren’t even doing anything. You royally failed.”

“Shut up, woman, I tried.”

“Woman?”

Demario corrected himself with a grin. “By woman, I meant goddess.”

“Good boy.” Adrianna pulled him into her arms with a grin and kissed him hard. The zeal between the two of them was just indescribable. Lucky for me, I didn’t have to be jealous anymore. I had my own passion with the man I constantly craved.

Justin and I exchanged glances, mine being confused while his was thoroughly irritated. Should I even ask questions about this travesty? I shook my head, laughing softly when Justin suddenly bounced up from his seat on my bed.

“I never showed anybody the reason I was late!” He seemed excited as he ran to his pants which were lying astray on the floor. “Leila, do you have a cd player?”

“Yeah, right behind you,” I replied with more confusion and curiosity. Justin turned and walked to my Bose stereo and fiddled with it until his cd was inside and ready to play. Through this, he pulled his pants back on. Disappointing as it was, I realized he probably didn’t want to get caught with his pants down by my brothers.

A melody came from the speakers and I really fell in love. It had a slight morose sound, but it truly fit the song we had been working on together, “Over It”. My mouth dropped slightly and a smile formed on my face. I couldn’t believe how sweet Justin was to actually help me with my song, let alone go crazy and make me a beat for the song. I could almost hear myself singing the lyrics to the song, it all just seemed to fit perfectly.

“Justin, I love it!” I couldn’t control my smile. I jumped from my place on the bed and hugged him graciously. He laughed at my enthusiasm and kissed the top of my head.

“Good, I worked so hard on that fucking song. I even called Tim to come help me so I was going to be pretty pissed off if you hated it.”

“Timbaland worked on it? Wow.” I was sincerely blown away. It was one thing that Justin Timberlake was helping me out, but now that included Timbaland? That was an unstoppable duo in the music business, my career was sure to take off. This was beginning to feel like a dream, maybe a little too good to be true.

“I can honestly say that I’m jealous.” Adrianna smiled, collapsing on my bed with Demario by her side. “Too bad I don’t have any musical talent or I’d so want a song from Timbaland too.”

“Girl, I’ll make you ten songs if that would make you happy.” Demario smiled broadly at Adrianna. I think his playful and dorky nature was part of his charm. It both figuratively and literally charmed the pants of Adrianna; I’m pretty sure it would have done the same for me.

Releasing Justin from my grasp, I smiled invitingly at him and walked back to my bed. He quickly followed and we all sat, probably looking like the intro to one big orgy. I giggled at the thought, only to be tickled on the stomach by Justin. It was a great way to make me laugh harder and snort like the huge dork I am.

“Lei? You coming down yet?” I normally would have heard the footsteps of my brother roaming down the hall, but the sounds of my laughter quickly drained them out. A confused and slightly annoyed looking Aiden stared at me as I laid on the bed with my best friend and two guys. One of those guys happened to be tickling me. It was just a recipe for trouble.

“Yeah sorry… we were just bsing.” Justin’s hands were off me and I sat up to face my brother. I shouldn’t look guilty, I clearly did nothing wrong. Well, nothing that I considered wrong. His thoughts and opinions really didn’t appeal to me anymore.

“Oh… okay.” He sent a warning glance to Justin and strangely Demario. I swallowed my amusement at the situation; I was oddly grateful that I found this funny because I probably wouldn’t be able to hold my tongue if I was angry. Angry Leila was a rare sight anyway. “Just come down soon.” Aiden’s honey colored eyes met my own was a stern look. I quickly shook my head, showing him that my patience was running low. Not that he’d care much about my patience.

I truly believed he was looking for an excuse to kick Justin out. Not to mention, I was shocked that he was taking this in stride. Well, stride for him.

Aiden left the room, but I knew he didn’t leave. His footsteps were nonexistent and with the normally creaky wooden floor, that was impossible. I took this time to converse with Adrianna on a completely innocent topic. Aiden didn’t need to have a conniption when he heard I was working on a music career that didn’t involve rock, not to mention fucking big, bad Justin Timberlake.

Holy shit, I was fucking Justin Timberlake! I truly would never be able to get over that.

“Dri, we still beaching it tomorrow or are you working?” I asked my best friend with a smile.

“Um duh! I need to work on my tan… it’s almost nonexistent.” She pointed to her slightly sun kissed skin and giggled. “Though not as bad as yours, Casper.”

I rolled my eyes, knowing that she was making fun of my borderline pasty skin. “It’s not my fault that I just cannot tan okay! I’m the worst Hispanic ever.” I sighed dramatically and collapsed back down on my queen sized bed.

“Truly, you are.” Justin patted my damp hair and grinned. “Oh and really girls, it was sweet of you to invite De and I to the beach.”

“Did you want to come?”

“If we were invited in a nicer way, maybe we could answer that question.”  Demario replied, pursing his lips together as he pretended to look insulted.

“I didn’t think we had to ask. You both should just automatically know that you were invited.” Adrianna stated. I high fived her for the quick thinking and save; we both giggled profusely. The two of us laugh so much when were together that I’m pretty sure we sound like hyenas or drunken whores trying to get that last drink from a guy at a bar.

“Well I’m going, I don’t know about little Miss JT though.” Demario grinned. Justin picked up a pillow and threw it at his head with extreme annoyance.

“Fuck you, bro. Of course we’re both going.”

I loved hearing things like that. Justin wanted a place in my life and he wanted to spend time with me. He truly cared for me, it was mind blowing. I don’t think I could ever get over that feeling of butterflies in my stomach when I thought of that.

I don’t think I ever wanted to either.

Chapter 14- Under your Spell

“I’m under your spell
Surging like the sea
Wanting you so helplessly
I break with every swell
Lost in ecstasy
Spread beneath my willow tree
You make me complete”- “Under Your Spell”

**Leila**

I drove to the beach with Adrianna by my side, laughing at the silly stories she was telling me about her new found relationship with Demario. Apparently he had taken her to a charity basketball game that he was participating in and during half time he sat in on top of the net. I had such a hard time picturing that. I didn’t get much time to talk to Demario so I really didn’t get to see what kind of person he was, but if he was anything like Justin, I could expect lots of cheese.

“I swear I am not lying! He was sitting on top of the net being goofy and talking to the crowd like nothing was going on. I was laughing so hard that I could barely breathe. He always does whatever he can to make me laugh.”

The two of us were giggling nonstop as I pulled my car into a parking spot. I was seriously happy for her and Demario.  “The important question is did you didn’t get proof of the debacle?”

“Of course I did!” Adrianna laughed and flipped through her I Phone. She settled on a picture of Demario doing exactly what she said. I completely lost it after seeing that picture, I laughed so hard that my stomach muscles were in pain. He was such a dork! Clearly he took after his friend.

We were still laughing as we got out of my car. It was moments like this, the laughing and incessant silliness that I felt like I was a normal girl. I mean there wasn’t anything physically wrong with me, but sometimes the fact that I have a celebrity as a father can get pretty crazy. People don’t see me as Leila, they see me as Noah’s little girl. It’s pretty irritating to say the least. I’ve always wanted to come into my own and be recognized as my own person.

I like to think that I’m slowly getting there, pushing my way through all the barriers. With each day, I grow up and mature. I just want my Dad to finally see that I’m not some stupid little girl that can’t take care of herself. Fuck, I want the WORLD to see that. I think with Justin’s help, I can finally do that.

“So… tell me about what’s going on with Justin. You guys seemed very cozy last night. So dish please.” Adrianna grilled me as we treaded through the sand, holding our beach chairs. That has to be the worst part about going to the beach, hoping along through the sand because your feet are getting burned the entire way. Sandals don’t help the burning either, it just makes it harder to walk straight and keep up the juggling.

“I don’t know…”

“You do know! Now stop withholding information and tell me.”

I blushed at the memories of the previous night. Not only had I hung out with Justin and made out with him, I also slept with him. I could not get over that, I had sex with Justin Randall Timberlake, the musical genius and it was amazing. Adrianna would probably be the first and probably only person I’d tell. I’m a pretty private person when it comes to situations like this. Normally I probably would tell Mia too but I knew for a fact that she’d flip the hell out. She’s just not on team Justin.

“Dri, we just hung out and made out. I don’t even know what’s going on.”

“Is making out the new word for fucking?” She asked me as we found a perfect spot by the water. My eyes nearly bugged out of my head. “Oh my God… I was joking about that but you totally did! I see it all over your face!”

I just smirked and opened up my beach chair. Adrianna was close to shaking me so I’d spill everything. I turned a deep shade of red and tried to turn away from Adrianna. She really was not having that. Grabbing my wrist, she turned me so I was facing her.

“I told you all the details now you have to share. It’s the female code.”

I took a deep breath and exhaled with laughter as I listened to how excited Adrianna was about this. I knew she meant me no harm by asking but I think part of me was scared to divulge into my relationship with Justin. I really didn’t want to jinx anything. It was all so new and I truly didn’t want to mess anything up. I guess that was silly of me, talking about this with my best friend was not going to ruin anything.

I stripped out of my baby doll cover up and tried to relax in my black and blue bikini. Easy right? Not for me. I guess I’m shy when it comes to my body. Every girl has their own insecurities about them and I’m no different. I think my insecurities have been heightened since Justin has entered my life. I feel like I have to be this perfect girl or else I won’t be good enough for him.

“Well you knew how I was teasing him, right?” I got comfortable in my beach chair before continuing. “Well he ended up following me to my room and just popped into the shower with me… and well you know how it goes.”

“You had sex in the shower? Nice!” Adrianna giggled as I blushed again. I pulled my sunglasses down over my face and leaned back in the chair. “So how was it?”

“Amazing doesn’t even begin to describe it.” I said with a huge grin on my face. It was true. Sex with Justin had been amazing, better than I had ever experienced with anyone.

 In the back of my mind, I had been wondering if it had been too soon. I mean, we had really only known each other for a little over a month and I wasn’t the type of girl to jump into something like that. I mean I clearly had expectations and not knowing where I stood with him. It seemed like we were close to becoming official but I was not sure. Asking him was definitely out of the question too. I’d wait for him to give me a sign, but I guess my guard needed to be somewhat up.

“He left marks all over me… I’m going to need to hide from my family for the next couple of days.” I admitted, pointing to the hickey on my neck. “There’s also one on another place but you are not seeing that.”

“Not like I’d want to.” Adrianna answered me with laughter. I rolled me eyes at her and began lathering myself up with lotion.

Unfortunately I do not tan that well, but I’m always willing to take a hideous burn over my pastiness. Skin cancer here I come.

“So you and De are official now?”

“Not yet, we’re just taking it slow, which I’m good with. I don’t want to push him because that might scare him off. It’s just nice to be with him stress free.”

“I totally get that. Justin and I are in that place right now. I’m just going with it, even though I want it to work out so bad.”

“It’s better not to have expectations.” She shrugged her shoulders. “That’s the way I see it anyway. If you expect too much it’s easier to be let down.”

That was a good point she had and I probably needed to take a cue from her so I didn’t fuck everything up before it even got going. I knew I was investing too much thought into this so I decided to quickly change the subject so my mind would be elsewhere.

“So what time are the guys meeting up with us?”

Adrianna bit her lip and looked at her phone. “I think they’re supposed to get here at 1:30. They wanted to hit up the studio and finish that ridiculous “Boutique in Heaven” song.” The two of us giggled simultaneously at the mention of that song. Since the day we heard the lyrics, we constantly made jokes about the song, relating it back to how goofy Justin and Demario were.

Even sicker was that we joked about it in front of them and they just had no idea. Men are just so oblivious sometimes. Adrianna and I will be like, “let’s have a cosmopolitan!” or “that’s kind of expensive… lookin!” and they have no clue. Seriously, we just crack up for a couple of minutes and they just don’t get it.

Then again the two of us can be so goofy and immature when we’re around each other so maybe they just think we’re having a silly fit. The two of us will never grow up and I absolutely love that.

“Good… we so need their sexy asses here to drool over.” I giggled, sitting up and rummaging through my big beach tote for my radio. We were in desperate need of some tunes to kick back.

I set the small silver radio down next to us and turned to the first radio station that had something decent playing. It ended up being an old school song, “Forgot About Dre”. Adrianna amused me with how easily she was able to rap along to every word of the song. I ended up closing my eyes and nodding off.

I was definitely going to end up with a raccoon eyes burn since I had my sunglasses on. I somehow always manage to end up with some oddly proportioned burn. I might as well tape letters on myself like in “Jackass” so at least my burn could be productive.

I closed my eyes for a short time, relaxing to the sounds of the radio and trying hard not to let my easily excitable mind go crazy. I was stressed enough about this Justin situation; there was no need to get any more agitated about it. I just needed to relax and let fate take its course. Of course, that’s easier said then done, not to mention I can get OCD about certain subjects.

That’s all part of being a female I guess or maybe it’s just me being the nut case that I am? Probably the latter. I guess the feeling I have that are so strong that it’s hard to just act like nothing. It’s just ironic how the happiest times can also be stressful. That is probably just me though. I tend to make my issues more than they should be.

“Uh excuse me ladies… you look like you have panties that need some filling.” My eyes opened at the sound of a deep voice coming from next to me. I was creeped out for a second, wondering what stalker was going to screw with me and Adrianna this time. The two of us have a habit of attracting some very strange people, Justin and Demario excluded.

This one time we were in Manhattan having Margaritas in a Mexican restaurant and this old dude came up to us asking for a threesome. Like he had his arms draped around us, practically begging for it. The two of us were freaked out to put it lightly and ran straight to the nearest waiter and begged him to get that mother fucker away from us. Sadly it worked for a little bit but the asshole decided to wait outside for us. It wasn’t a fun experience having to call my Dad and beg him to come down and get me.

Fortunately, I wouldn’t need my Dad to bail me out of a mess. I laughed when I saw Justin, smiling goofily at me with Demario by his side. Those two were almost inseparable. It was cute to see the side of Justin that didn’t just like to work but liked to hang out with his best friends.

I’m probably sound like a delusional, love sick girl but the more I find out about him, the more I like him. I guess I have to stop being so obsessive about him. I don’t want to become one of those girls, you know, the nightmare one night stand types? That’s some Fatal Attraction type shit. Oh God, why am I even comparing myself to that?!

I often need a slap across the face to keep me from acting and reasoning ridiculously. Clearly I need a slap right now. I think I constantly need slaps.

“Our panties are always open for filling from sexy boys like yourselves.” Adrianna giggled as I turned one of my famous shades of scarlet. I don’t think I’d ever stop blushing when it came to Justin.

“That’s great to hear.” Demario sauntered over to Adrianna and kissed her lips softly. “Y’all hungry? We brought lunch.”

“Oh my God, I’m starving.” Adrianna replied as Demario sat down in front of her on the towel. Justin was lying out his own towel and I was wondering how he would greet me. Would I get a kiss too or would he just pretend like nothing happened? Did I even have a right to be upset if he just wanted to be friends?

I kinda did… I think. I mean he would be playing a massive amount of mind games if that were the case. Through my mental rant, Justin slowly inched towards me and kissed my lips ever so gently. There was the answer to my paranoia and it was a very, very good response.

“You weren’t going to say hello to me?” He was inches from my face, leaving me completely breathless, as usual. He was definitely going to get bored of my responses towards him one day. They were all the same; completely awed by his good looks and charm. Damn him to hell for making me lose all sense of reason.

“Of course I was… I just wanted you to do it first.” I smiled at him sweetly. Why was it that every time he was near, my heart felt like it was going to break out of my chest? This couldn’t be normal.

“Well, I guess next time you get to do it.” He laughed and plopped down on his stomach on the towel. He was propped up on his elbows and staring at me with that typical gorgeous smile of his. I moved my stare away from his gorgeous face to his hard body. His back was muscular, slightly wet with sweat from the heat of the intense sun. Looking at him gave me so many dirty thoughts and images of our own tryst in the shower.

Now that was a simply amazing memory that I could replay in my mind a million times without getting bored. If only I had that on tape… hehe. IT WAS A JOKE. I wouldn’t do something like that! I’m not Paris Hilton or Pamela Anderson!

“Let Demario take your chair and come lay down with me girl.”

How I didn’t break out into one of those school girl giggles I don’t know. He makes me revert back to days of innocence. I think it’s because he’s so different that it’s refreshing. I respect that he wants to take things slow and I like that he wants to look out for my feelings. I mean his pushing me away was done in a fucked up way but it was sweet of him to want to protect me.

Ugh, how am I finding him degrading me cute? I don’t know what it is about him but he just makes me crazy for him. I wished I didn’t feel this strongly, but I wondered if maybe I should just embrace it? Clearly wishing wasn’t going to do the trick.

I happily got up from my seat and laid down next to him on the blanket. He grinned at me and place a kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes and smiled, turning my head to the side so I could keep my eyes on him.

**Justin**

I was lying down, tanning next to one of, if not the most beautiful women on this planet. Sometimes I can’t believe my luck. I mean I was a nobody from Memphis once and now I get with women who could probably be categorized as too good for me. I’m not talking about looks but I mean personality wise, I’ve done some shady shit. I have used women and then tossed them to the side like a bad habit; I’ve cheated and just been an all around douche bag.

Leila didn’t know that side of me. I didn’t want her to ever find out. I wanted to be that sweet guy who is always there for her and a prince charming type. She deserves that and I’d be damned if she didn’t get that from me. I was tempted to call my Mom and ask her for advice on how to be a good significant other. I didn’t want to completely rely on Hollywood for that basis either.

Part of me wouldn’t call my Mother or my cousin Rachel because I knew I’d be hounded with questions about Leila. I wasn’t ready to let anyone know about her just yet. It’s one thing that Demario knows, but he doesn’t ask many questions other than, “is the sex good?” He’s got a pretty one track mind so I’m lucky that way. I mean Demario doesn’t only think about sex but I think he’s pretty much in the same boat as me when it comes to the fear, but I don’t think he’ll admit it.

Involving the two most important women in my life is something I don’t want to deal with just yet. They knew that I had commitment issues and they had even tried to help me resolve them. I’d never wanted them resolved until recently. For a long time, I had been content with living my life for my work, an endless slew of one night stands and fuck buddies. I’m actually embarrassed about how fucking strongly I feel for this girl. It’s pathetic and if anyone knew, I would most likely be the butt of many jokes.

This definitely had to stay a secret for as long as I could keep it. This relationship was in its infancy and letting people know was a sure sign of fucking things up. Keeping this casual and secluded was the plan I had. When the time came, I was sure that I’d be ready to throw my inhibitions to the wind.

I stared at the skin right above her bikini bottoms, it seemed like it was begging for my kisses. I licked my lips and touched the slightly warm skin above her round ass. She giggled that little girl laugh of hers that always managed to warm my heart and turn me on at the same time. Leila had the strangest effects on me. She made me crave her body, want to bury my cock inside her wet core and at the same time, want to protect her from bastards like me.

“Ticklish, huh?”

“A little.” She confessed, turning to face me with an angelic smile on her lips. Leila in a bikini is something I pretty much love seeing. I mean the girl I like half naked? It’s no wonder that I jumped at the chance to go to the beach with her and see this.

Granted, I’ve had sex with her and seen her naked already a few times, but I’m a horny bastard and that doesn’t stop me. She has a hot little body that I jump at the chance of looking at. I’m overly horny, I admit that, but she’s a pretty girl, it’s difficult not to look.

“Alright, I won’t be mean, but that’s just for right now.” I smiled widely at her and turned on my side so I was facing her beautiful face. Her head was leaning on her arms and a small smile was playing on her lips.

“Just for right now? That doesn’t seem fair.”

“Life isn’t fair, deal with it.” I chuckled. She looked stunned for a moment but then burst out into laughter with me. The good thing about Leila is that she understands a joke, unlike most girls.

“You’re still being mean.”

“Fine, I’m sorry, Tink.” I patted the top of her head as she shot me a look of confusion. “You remind me of Tinker Bell.”

“The Disney character?”

“How many Tinker Bells do you know?”

“Well there’s Paris Hilton’s dog, Tinker Bell.” She replied with a giggle. I rolled my eyes at her and sighed with mock frustration. “I’m kidding!”

“Good.”

“So how do I remind you of Tinker Bell? And please be more creative and say something other than you’re both blonde.”

“Uh, you’re just spunky like she is, and you’re always bouncing around. When you were mad at me, you just had her temper too. Don’t laugh at me; I was a big Peter Pan fan as a kid. I wanted to be him.”

Leila looked at me for a moment and bit on her bottom lip, trying to stifle laughter. I glared at her with mock emotion. With Leila I never had to take myself seriously. I could be a little kid again and just joke around with her about the silliest things. We had the most interesting conversations too and trust me; I’m never really interested in conversing with the opposite sex unless it’s about music or something benefiting me.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that I’m a very selfish individual, so this whole Leila situation is shocking. I mean it’s just so new for me to care about someone. It’s so fucked up because it happened so suddenly. It literally knocked me on my fucking ass. I was not prepared for it at all. Life never prepares you for anything though; it just expects you to adapt to shit.

This is the one time that I’m just trying my hardest to take things as they come. I’m not being completely anal, that is a feat in itself. I do want to control this situation but I think I deserve props for not trying to push it away anymore. I think it’s safe to say that I’ve grown up a lot.

“Peter Pan, huh? Does that mean you’ll dress up in the green tights for me?”

“Hell no, woman.” I replied quickly with booming laughter following after. She sat up on the beach towel and stretched her body out, giggling at my quick response.

“You up for going in the water?” Leila asked me after our laughter ceased. I nodded at her and climbed to my feet.

I almost asked Demario and Adrianna to join us but the two were busy making out. It seemed like they were practically glued together by the waist, if you know what I mean. Not that I think Demario shouldn’t get with Adrianna, but I kind of think he rushed things a bit. Fuck when did I become such a goddamn pansy?!

Leila and I hurried down to the water, racing to see who would make it first. Naturally I could have beat her but I lagged behind for two reasons. One I always thought it was nice to let girls win once and a while and secondly, I wanted to see her ass jiggle as she walked down the beach. That girl has such a perfectly round ass too.

I need to stop this excessive horniness. Either that or I need to jerk the fuck off before I hang out with her. That sounds so extremely pathetic but its true. She’s just too sexy for her own good. She doesn’t even realize it either. She smiles at me and taunts me with her body. She pretty much invites me to stare at her goodies and fantasize about humping her tight little cunt.

I realized that I was not the only one who noticed Leila’s beauty. A few loser guys were gawking at Leila, very obviously whispering to each other about her. I was livid as I sent a glare in their direction. It was pretty futile to have done that too; none of those pricks even looked at me. They were too busy checking out the girl that almost belonged to me.

We reached the water quickly since we weren’t seated too far away. Leila immediately splashed me with water which was freezing cold. I wasn’t even exaggerating when I said that the water felt like ice cubes rubbing my skin. That never makes any sense to me, like it’s fucking hot as hell out but the water is still colder than a January breeze.

I wasn’t about to let her get away with soaking me. I lunged at Leila, picking her up in my arms and I ran deeper into the water while she squealed in my arms. I was eating it all up too. Take that all you fucking jealous pricks. There definitely has to be something wrong with me. I want Leila to be only mine but I don’t want anyone to know that. I could stand for a heavy dose of therapy because I really make no fucking sense.

Yeah, I realize that maybe I’m being a little possessive about her. It’s impossible to expect that no one would lay eyes on her. If I grew a pair and decided to talk to someone about it, maybe I could work through my issues. I definitely need to do that.

“Justin! Please! It’s cold!” Her arms were slung around me as I sloshed into the waist deep ocean. My legs were ice blocks as I stopped dead in my tracks and smiled deviously at Leila. “Don’t Justin! I’ll do anything!”

“Anything, huh?” I replied with a wink. “Well, I think I’ll take my chances.” I submerged into the water with Leila still in my arms. She shrieked from the cold and I was certain that she was hating my guts for this.

“Justin! You are an asshole!” Ha, like I’d never heard that before. I smiled toothlessly at her and quickly swam away. I wasn’t stupid, I knew Leila was plotting to splash me and I was not having that. I’d dunk her three times before she could wet me again.

She swam after me with a devious grin on her face. I reacted quickly, jumping at her and locking her within my arms. Leila struggled to get out of my embrace, giggling the entire time. I of course was on cloud nine. I liked having her in my arms. I got this strange feeling in my stomach whenever I was near her. Something about Leila’s presence made me want to try and be a good guy for once. Her own purity was rubbing off on me, I guess.

“This isn’t fair, I hope you know.” She whined.

I laughed and kissed the side of her face gently. “Yes it is.”

“Well…maybe but just a little.” She sighed, relaxing against my body. “Why is it that we always end up in water?”

“I don’t know.” I answered, finding it ironic how true that statement was. If it wasn’t a pool, it was a shower and now the ocean. What was next, a fucking bathtub? “It’s kind of a sexy pattern though.”

“I agree.”

“I like seeing you soaking wet… in more ways than one.” I grinned at the double meaning of my words and loosened my grip on her. My hand trailed down to her flat stomach and she sighed at the touch. Her head was resting against my chest and it was obvious that she wanted me to move farther.

I would touch her every moment of the day if it was possible. Unfortunately it wasn’t so I’d stick to touching her every minute we were alone. I was most certainly going to fucking make sure that we were alone almost always. I nipped at the skin on her neck, grinning to myself when I saw the marks I had made yesterday. Yes, she truly belonged to me. Stares from other men couldn’t change that.

I don’t know if I wasn’t thinking straight or if jealousy pushed me to do this so quickly, but I turned Leila around so she was facing me and smiled. “You’re my girl, right?”

Leila was completely stunned by my question. She was silent for a second before she smiled back at me, biting her bottom lip ever so adorably. “If you want me to be.”

“I do want you to be my girl… the question is, do you want to be?”

“I think you’re crazy to be asking this question.” She shook her head and giggled. “Of course I do.”

“Good.” I grinned, feeling ecstatic but at the same time fearing that maybe I shouldn’t have rushed this. First I went from trying to halt this relationship to speeding it up completely. I knew after I spoke that this probably wasn’t the healthiest of things to do to secure this relationship. I thought quickly, nervously trying to come up with the right words to describe how I was feeling. I was scared. That’s all she needed to know. “I think maybe we should keep it on the dl for now though… because it’s so early and shit still. I really don’t want to deal with the press hounding us…”

I lied. It figured that I wouldn’t have the balls to state how I was really feeling. Instead I just came off like a dumb ass.

“That’s understandable.” She half smiled at me and leaned in to kiss my mouth. We kissed with fever and tenderness. Though I was scared, the thought of Leila as my girlfriend had me smiling nonstop. How could something feel right and wrong at the same time?

I prayed that my lie wouldn’t kick off a sequence of drama. Actually, my fears had a better chance of doing that. I just wanted this to go as smoothly as possible. I wanted this to work out. I guess only time would tell.

Chapter 15

“I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway”- “Breakaway” by Kelly Clarkson

**Leila**

The ringing of my cell phone woke me up. I was very close to throwing that cell phone out the window too. I’m just not a morning person in that aspect. If you wake me up unnecessarily before a certain time, be ready to get bitched out. Anyway, I flung my hand towards my nightstand, ready to silence the phone but something inside me urged me to check the caller ID and answer.

Surprisingly, Mia was calling me. It was unlike her to call at all, she’s just not a phone person unless its an emergency or she has some really great gossip. I yawned and hit the answer button on my I-Phone.

“Good Morning, Princess Mia.”

“Good Morning to you, Miss Star Magazine.”

I made a face and looked at my phone in confusion. It wasn’t like I could look at Mia and shot her a “girl you crazy!” look. My phone would just have to take my dirty looks and learn to like it!

“What are you talking about? It’s too early for games.” I said with a groan. I was already plotting a quick escape back to dream land. Ten in the morning was too effing early for me to be up and atom. I’m sorry! I was off from school for Spring Break and I intended on taking advantage of that.

I had been going out so much with Justin lately that sleep was not one of my biggest priorities. He was always wanting to go out to dinner or just hang out with Adrianna and Demario, it gave me little time to concentrate on school. I didn’t mind that though, pulling an all-nighter to study after going on a date with Justin Timberlake wasn’t something I was about to complain about.

“You’re telling me you don’t know?”

“Mia, obviously I don’t know.” I huffed as I cuddled into my pillow. “Just tell me.”

“Go take a look at PerezHilton.com.”

I made some sort of groaning, whining noise and hopped out from under my warm covers. If she was making me check Perez for something ridiculous she could consider herself no longer my best friend. I trudged to my dresser and grabbed my laptop which was religiously on sleep mode and flipped it open.

I sat back down on the bed, grumbling to Mia that whatever she wanted to show me had better be Hayden Christensen’s penis or there would be problems. I typed in the familiar web address into my internet explorer and patiently waited for whatever exciting news Mia just had to share.

Yes, I am one of those mindless beings that are addicted to celebrity dirt. It’s entertaining to hear how stupid some of those celebrities can be; like they invite the paparazzi around with them just to get exposure. That’s pretty fucking lame to me. I understand that sometimes you have to promote your art but having some stalkers follow you around everyday is just pretty sick. I wouldn’t be able to deal with shit like that. I’d end up taking one of them out and then I’d be sent to prison for some pointless shit.

The only reason that deters me from being in the limelight, I mean the people probing into your life is just sickening. I’ll never forget my Mom’s funeral, it was supposed to be an intimate affair for family and friends. The paparazzi waited outside, took pictures and sold them to various tabloids. It was such a disgusting experience. My Mom was a celebrity by association, I knew for a fact that she hated shit like this. It was just such a kick in the face to her.

The website loaded and I huffed once again after reading the first headline. “Angelina is adopting yet another baby. How shocking.”

“Would you stop being a cunt and scroll down?”

I did as I was told and scrolled down, vaguely looking at the next couple of posts until I saw Justin’s name come up. That’s pretty typical for a celebrity like Justin to end up on Perez, right? The only problem was that there was a photo and in that photo, I was with him. I lost the little amount of color I had in my face.

“Is this a joke?”

These weren’t just casual pictures; this was us frolicking on the beach last weekend. God, there was a fucking picture of us kissing in the ocean. This just could not be happening. Not only was the world going to find out about Justin and I, but the three people that would abhor this the most, my father and brothers.

“I was checking my mail and this just came up…Lei, I’m so sorry. I just wanted to give you the heads up so your Dad doesn’t catch you off guard.”

I could not even answer her; I was just completely focused on the sight before my eyes. I’d like to say that I was enamored by the cuteness that Justin and I were but no. I was too devastated and it wasn’t because Perez had drawn a heart on my crotch. Everyone was going to know about Justin and I. It was the one reservation he had too and it was completely shot to hell.

This wasn’t my fault but I was afraid that it was going to cost me my relationship. Fuck these goddamn paparazzi. Didn’t they have anything better to do then stalk innocent people? Get a real fucking job!

“Oh my God…” I blinked a few times, rereading the article again and again. This just wasn’t good at all. My Father was going to blow his top when he found this out.

I was glued to my seat, completely unsure what my next move should be. Talking to my Dad was going to lead to a lot of drama but avoiding the situation might add to that drama. I sighed loudly and sunk down in my seat. I was not prepared for my Dad finding this out so soon.

“What do I do?” I asked Mia with another sigh.

“I don’t even know…” For once Mia was at a loss. This was a day that had to be marked in history books. Mia always had a smart ass answer, was I truly fucked this time? I took a deep breath in so I wouldn’t hyperventilate. I repeated to myself that this could be so much worse. I could be lying in a hospital or I could be dead or even worse, someone I love could be in pain.

This was silly and a problem that could be solved easily. Right? I didn’t need to stress this into a bigger issues then it was.

“I’m going to your house today.”

“You know my doors are always open to you, Lei.”

“Ha, good… because I think when my Dad finds out about this, I’m going to be thrown the fuck out or sent to a nunnery.”

Mia laughed at my words, “Leila, I’m sure it won’t be that bad.”

“Let’s hope.” I grumbled and checked the clock on my laptop. It was 10, there was still a chance that I could disappear for a while without being noticed. “Let’s put it this way, be up and dressed because I’m going to be at your house in like the next 15 minutes.”

“Alright… see you soon and don’t stress, we’ll figure something out.”

I kept repeating to myself that Mia was right. There was always a solution. I mean, granted my Father would initially freak out that I was dating Justin, whom he had professed a strong dislike for, but he’d get over it. It was better to convince myself of this then to freak out for the rest of the day.

I hung up the phone and ran to throw on the first pair of sweat pants and t-shirt I could find. I’d just have to shower at Mia’s house and she would have to deal with that. I really just wanted to be out of this house before I got into an insane amount of trouble. I realize how said that sounds, to be 20 years old and terrified of my Dad’s reaction to my new boyfriend. It’s just that we’re such a close knit family; something like this would completely anger my father. Let’s also not forget that Justin is helping me with an album that my Dad doesn’t want to exist. That is going to make him despise Justin even more than he already does.

Quickly dressing and putting on a pair of sneakers, I jetted down the stairs. I wondered if Justin already knew the news and how he was reacting to it. Would he be angry at me? Would this tear apart our brand new and amazing relationship? I grew sullen at the thought of the relationship ending already. I had Justin as my boyfriend for barely over a week; it couldn’t end over something so completely ridiculous, right?

I was freaking out again and I needed to stop. Quickly, I grabbed my car keys from the end table by the stairs and crept towards the doorway. I tried my best not to peak a glance at myself in the mirror by the doorway. I’d probably faint from the horrible appearance of my hair.

“Leila Lyric?! Is that you trying to walk out of my house?!”

I closed my eyes and stopped right where I was standing. My Dad’s booming voice came from only a few feet away from me. I knew that there was no way I was going to be able to get away now. Even if I tried running out the door, I’d be dragged back in the house, kicking and screaming.

“Oh hey Dad.” I slowly turned to face him and forced an innocent smile. “Morning… I was just going to run to Mia’s…”

“No, you actually aren’t.” He hissed his response at me. “Get in the living room right now.”

Though his tone slightly voiced his anger, his volume was surprisingly low. I had been expecting my Father to scream at the top of his lungs at me from the get go. Something told me that this was going to be a lot worse than what I was expecting. When someone was desperately trying to be calm, it just meant that their anger was that bad.

With my head down I walked into the living room, biting down on my bottom lip. I felt like a little kid getting caught with my hand in the cookie jar, or a little boy getting caught playing with his sister’s barbies. Go take your pick. Anyway, I walked into the living room to see my Dad and two brother’s sitting on the couch all in the same pose, leaning back with their arms crossed. This was not good.

“Well hello Miss Lala.” Kyle cracked a smile at me. He was the only one to do so. I think maybe he was expecting this whole thing with Justin so he was taking it relatively calm. Thank God for Kyle, he was my effing salvation.

“Morning,” I smiled back at him.

“You know Leila, I thought I could trust you, I thought you were responsible enough to be left alone without any supervision. I really didn’t want to be wrong about this, but you just proved to me that you are reckless.” He shook his head at me condescendingly. “What makes this worse is that I had to find this out through my publicist, not from the mouth of my own daughter. I really am disappointed in you Leila.”

WHAT?! I bit my tongue, holding back a surge of curses that dared to spill from my mouth. How dare he call me irresponsible for wanting to live my life?! GAH! It wasn’t like I was committing murder, I was just dating Justin! Why the hell did everyone have to care so much about what I did. I wasn’t fucking multiple men or popping pills, just leave me the hell alone and let me be happy!

“How exactly am I reckless, Dad? For living my life and being happy? That is pretty ridiculous if you ask me. I didn’t do anything wrong!”

“LEILA! I CLEARLY told you not to get involved with that boy because I know exactly what he is after!” My Father stood up and I shrunk back, not liking how angry he was. I mean I knew he wouldn’t hit me or anything, but I just didn’t like seeing him flipping out like this. “End this now before things get worse.”

“You have no right to tell me to end anything!” I screamed at him. “I’m not a little girl anymore! STOP TRYING TO CONTROL ME!”

“Lala, chill… he’s really trying to look out for you. We all are.” Kyle looked at me sternly. “I know you like this guy, but he just isn’t good for you.”

How was this happening right now? How was everyone ganging up on me for something so insignificant as who I was dating? This wasn’t fair that I needed the whole family’s fucking approval to date someone. I was so livid at this time; I was almost at the point of tearing my hair out. I’m not the type to easily get upset about anything, but this control issue just had to stop.

I’m considered an adult in society so shouldn’t I be treated as one? I know that everyone reading this must think that having this conversation is pretty ridiculous. I agree with them on that. Justin isn’t a bad guy; he’s not a drug dealer or a criminal, he’s just a normal guy with a bad reputation with females. From what I know about Justin, that reputation is just unjustifiable. He’s a sweetheart. It made me so angry that no one else could see that or even bother to comprehend it.

I mean, why the fuck would I date someone that was horrible to me?

“Let’s make something perfectly clear… I’m a grown ass woman and will do whatever I please. Justin is a great guy and I’m thrilled to have him in my life. Not only does he listen to me, but he supports me in everything and that includes music. You hear that Dad, he believes in my musical ability, unlike YOU.”

“You know I think your talented Leila, I just don’t think you’re strong enough or mature enough to handle the scrutiny that comes along with that. If Justin is pushing that on you then he obviously doesn’t care about your well being, only about the money he’ll get for endorsing Noah Jacobs only daughter.”

“JUSTIN ISN’T LIKE THAT!” I yelled, instantly regretting it. Screaming was only going to make me look as immature as my Father wanted to believe I was. “I’m not going to get any damn support from any of you, so whatever. F this.”

“Leila would you stop, you’re a naïve little girl that doesn’t know what’s good for you. WE know what’s good for and getting into the business when you barely know who you are and how to take care of yourself is not a smart idea.” Aiden who had been silent most of this time finally spoke up. I sighed loudly and rolled my eyes. “Don’t start with that shit right now Leila, this fucking asshole is not good for you! Getting into music with him would be career suicide. You need to find your own way.”

“Oh shut the fuck up Aiden. You’re just being pissy because I don’t want to get into metal.”

Aiden rolled his eyes and took a step towards me, his eyes practically bulging out of his head. “STOP BEING A FUCKING CUNT RIGHT NOW, LEILA. I DON’T GIVE A SHIT WHAT MUSIC YOU DO! I WANT TO STOP YOU FROM MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE!”

“That’s the fucking point, Aiden! You should let me make my own “mistakes”! All of you need to back off!”

“LEILA! ENOUGH!” Noah raised his voice, placing a hand on Aiden’s shoulder so he would back down from the argument. My Dad now took the center stage in this battle, I was outnumbered 3 against 1. “We will never back off, we are your family! You are making a big mistake by letting this boy blind you and bring you into a life that you obviously are not ready for! He is going to treat you like every woman in his life, look at that poor Britney Spears girl that he humiliated and that poor Cameron Diaz that he discarded. I DO NOT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN TO YOU!”

I was seeing red at this point. They didn’t even know Justin and they were judging him because of what they heard through the media. It was funny because my Dad was always pissed about the way they portrayed him. How come he didn’t see it that way for Justin? Why did he have to look at all the negativity surrounding him? I mean Justin has done amazing things; he was a Grammy winner, an actor, a producer, and a designer, among other things.  Why couldn’t they see that talented individual who gave back to society instead of the jealous, scorned and sex crazed pop star that the media loved to paint him as?

Justin was the sweetheart who attempted to cook for me and almost burned down his entire kitchen in the process. He tried his best to be sweet and show me that he cared in silly little ways. Not to mention, he was extremely adamant about brainstorming for my album. He’s so creative, it’s absolutely ridiculous. I think Justin is the only person that can get inspiration from something as mundane as TV snow.

This just wasn’t fair! It wouldn’t take much for them to get to know Justin and like him if they tried. Justin was a really amazing guy. I know my Dad would love him if he took the chance. Why was it so difficult for any of them to even try?

“FUCK THIS AND FUCK ALL OF YOU! I’m tired of all these judgments!” I stormed out of the living room. My Father of course followed me. “I’m going to Mia’s, when you decide to stop being so dominating, then feel free to talk to me, because until then I don’t want ANY of you to try and converse with me!”

“Leila, you aren’t going anywhere. Stop being childish.”

Again with the damn control! I turned around and laughed mockingly at my Father before I walked out of the house and to my car. They all had another thing coming if they thought they could continue controlling me.

**Justin**

It was safe to say that the last week of my life had been pretty fucking amazing. Leila was cool enough not to rush the relationship and even better was that she didn’t smother me. In my experience, the minute you say relationship to a girl she thinks she owns you. Leila thankfully gives me my space. If I want to go out with the boys, I go. She’s just completely relaxed with everything.

I knew I liked this girl for a reason.

A lot of this could be attributed to the fact that we’re still in the “honeymoon” stage of the relationship. Personally, I like to think that it’s all bullshit. Leila is a straightforward person from what I gather. I mean I realize I don’t know anything for sure but somehow I trust her. How crazy is that? I know the girl for less than two months and I already trust her.

I’m changing and it scares me. Fuck, someone like the ever oblivious JC is noticing the change and it scares him too. Though I’m scared, I’m happy to have Leila in my life and I know that she’ll never let me down. So far Leila has kept every promise she’s made to me, down to the most insignificant.

This is the silliest example but she jokingly promised me one night that she’d make me brownies. Low and behold, the next day she brought me a tray over. I’m lame for remembering this shit but it just proves how honest she is. There’s also a fucked up example (fucked up on my part) but she told me that she was studying at the library one night. I kind of didn’t believe her because it sounded a little shady to me, probably because I’ve never dated the scholarly types. So whatever, I went to the library out of paranoia and she surprised me by actually being there.

I like that she keeps surprising me and proving that she is different. She knocks all those relationship stigmas out of the fucking water. I don’t want any of this to ever stop.

“Yo, Justin, fifteen minutes till you go on.” A voice from outside my dressing room alerted me that I needed to get my shit together. It was nice to reminisce and get lost in my thoughts but I had to do my job too.

My first big screen movie, Alpha Dog, was coming out that weekend and I had to do a couple of promotional crap for it. Like I don’t mind going on talk shows, some of the hosts happen to be really awesome. Ellen for example is just a sweetheart. I just wanted to keep it local because leaving NYC meant leaving Leila and I just didn’t want to do that just yet.

Just as I was going to walk out of the room and onto the set, my phone started to ring. My cousin Rachel, who usually assisted me during my tours and appearances, was unable to come down and help me since she had come down with a stomach virus. Her name on the caller ID didn’t surprise me; I just assumed she was going to remind me to do something or not to say something. It was just the usual prep that went down before an interview.

“Rach, I’m literally about to walk out on the set.”

“Hi to you too.” Her sarcasm never surprises me. If anything, I think I’d die of shock if a day passed where she wasn’t. “I need to talk to you Justin.”

“It’s going to have to wait… I’m on in exactly five minutes.” I replied with a yawn. Fuck, I needed a nap so badly; too bad for me that work required me to work 26 hours of the day. Yes, I said 26.  “I’ll call you after the show.”

“No, Justin this really can’t wait. Star Magazine printed-“

“It doesn’t sound terribly important. Now Rach, I really am late now. I’ll call you in like a half hour.” I hung up my phone and shoved it deep in my pocket. Whatever ridiculous story Star decided to print about me this week just wasn’t worth getting upset over right now. It wasn’t like they didn’t do the same shit every week.

One week I was Justin Trousersnake, trying to get into hundreds of girls panties, the next I was gay and the following I was soon to be married to my secret childhood girlfriend. It was just a bunch of the same crap. None of it could surprise me anymore. It was sad how completely desensitized I was about everything.

I sauntered onto the set, shaking hands with the VJ, Damien. I’d met him plenty of times and he was always a pretty cool guy. Little did I know that today was going to change my entire perspective of him. I was handed a mike and told where to stand. It was pretty typical stuff that I had been through various times.

There was a bustle around me and my fellow cast mate Emile Hirsche was pushed toward the set. I didn’t even have a chance to say hi to him. The show just started right away and I was bombarded with a million and one questions along with the screaming of fans. Don’t get me wrong, I love my fans but sometimes they just scare the hell out of me. Screaming at me is going to do nothing but scare the fuck out of me and make me want to run the hell away from you.

“Welcome back to TRL, we have the stars of Alpha Dog here with us today, you might know them… Emile Hirsche and Justin Timberlake!” Damien exclaimed while the audience went crazy again and scream their heads off. Emile and I looked at each other and exchanged a knowing glance. Ear muffs would have come in handy right about now.

“Thanks for having us!” I smiled and was replied with a couple more screams. “Oh stop it!” I pretended to look embarrassed which drove the girls even crazier. Emile and Damien chuckled.

“So the movie opens this weekend, huh? How was working on a film that was also a true story? Did you guys feel pressure in portraying the tale correctly?”

“Man, of course. We wanted to make it as realistic as possible. I know both J and I did a lot of research on the characters as well as gang life in LA during the late 90’s, early 2000’s.” Emile explained to the Damien and the audience who was calming down.

“Definitely, you know a lot of people believe in the stigmas that crime occurs in the slums, but ironically it can go on anywhere, even in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in LA.” I stated and as Emile nodded in agreement with me.

“Did you meet the infamous Jesse James Hollywood and his accomplices?”

“No, I’m pretty sure that none of those guys wanted to have anything to do with this movie.” Emile chuckled as he held his microphone tightly. “Although it would have been really interesting to sit down and talk to them. It probably would have given us a better insight into the psyche of our characters.”

Damien looked in my direction and smiled, “Justin, this is your first big acting job, correct?”

“Yeah, you know I’ve done small things like SNL and the Mickey Mouse Club as a kid, so acting is in my blood. I’ve been dying to get really into it and stretch my legs. When I got this script, it was like I knew that it was what I was looking for. It’s both a comedic and heart wrenching tale. I really think that people are going to look the story of Jesse James Hollywood and me in a different light.”

“Well that sounds off the hook. What’s even cooler is that everyone in the audience is getting free passes to Alpha Dog, courtesy of Justin and Emile!” Damien said. Clapping rang through the room which made Emile and I smile once again. I eat up moments like this. I feed off of the energy that crowds bring. It’s a phenomenal feeling. “Now, Justin, you’re probably going to hate me for asking this… but everyone is curious about the pictures of you that have appeared all over the internet and tabloids. Do you mind if I ask you?”

Not understanding what was going on, I shrugged my shoulders. “Uh… ok.”

“What exactly is the nature of your relationship with Noah Jacobs’ daughter Leila?”

“Leila Jacobs?” I laughed nervously and ran my tongue over my bottom lip. As hard as I tried to fight it, the look of utter shock was painted on my face. This was not happening, not yet.  “Uh, I’m just helping her with her album. I actually just signed her to my label.”

“So what your saying is that she’s just a just a client?” Damien asked with a smug grin. The audience went wild again, booing at me. What the FUCK was going on? “I don’t believe that Justin, not after the pictures that surfaced.”

I looked over at Emile who was just as confused as I was. FUCK! This was the goddamn thing Rachel was trying to warn me about. I could kick myself for not listening to her. Now I was standing in front of an audience who wanted to tear me apart. Oh shit. I was seriously at a loss for words. The expression on my face was as stunned as a deer in headlights, times ten.

“Can we get the pictures up on the screen?” Damien asked someone backstage. I opened my mouth to protest but before I could, the fucking infamous pictures were posted.

These had to be taken the day Leila and I were at the beach. The first picture was the two of lying on a blanket, laughing. The second was us running to the water. They were all pretty innocent until the final picture was shown, the fucking whopper. My arms were wrapped around Leila’s sick body and we were kissing. Oh my fucking God.

Why hadn’t I noticed any paparazzi that day? WHY THE FUCK WASN’T I MORE CAREFUL? I was fuming at myself for my inability to foresee all of this and at this stupid dick making the situation all that much worse. Damien was supposed to be a cool guy, when did he turn into a dick who would do anything for a good story?

“Anything to say, Justin?”

“I don’t comment on my personal life.” I snarled at him and then chucked my microphone to the ground. Now, the people that know me well can vouch for me when I saw that I do not get angry often. This was just a sore subject that Damien unknowingly decided to probe at.

Granted, he was a dick about the situation but he really didn’t know that something like this would push my buttons to that extent. I knew in the back of my mind that me storming off the set of TRL would make news and be broadcast across the internet via you tube. I couldn’t see straight, I was completely seething. Staying on that set and continuing the interview would probably only lead to me knocking Damien the fuck out.

Various people were running up to me, Producers and such, apologizing and begging me to get back on the stage. I ignored every fucking one of them, only screaming one thing out to them as I trudged towards the elevators.

“FUCK THIS SHOW! Let Emile finish the rest of this mother fucking interview! My relationship with TRL is fucking over!”

The scary part was that I meant every word of that. There was no way in hell that I’d go back on that show after I was treated like an asshole. It wasn’t like that show was a big deal anymore anyway. It wouldn’t hurt my career to miss one measly talk show.

In the meantime, I knew I had to get in touch with Johnny, my manager, my PR guy and most importantly, Leila. We needed to figure out how to make this all go the fuck away before it blew up into something we couldn’t handle.

Chapter 16

“Everybody's talking all this stuff about me
Why don't they just let me live?
Tell me why I don't need commission
Make my own decisions
That's my prerogative”- “My Prerogative” by Bobby Brown.

**Justin**

It took me a few days to calm down about everything that had gone down. I was just so angry with myself for being innocent enough to believe that doing something as harmless as going to the beach wouldn’t get me seen. I had been in the spotlight for 10 fucking years; of course doing the most insignificant thing could lead to me getting caught. I shouldn’t have been so goddamn careless.

I had wanted to avoid the throngs of paparazzi and the questions from my friends and family, unfortunately I brought it all on myself anyway. My Mom was calling nonstop to ask who the “pretty blonde girl was” and “when am I going to meet her?” Shit like that makes me so angry and my Mom knows it. I really believe she loves making me nervous and upset. I think it’s payback for making her go through God knows how many hours of labor.

So I did a really bad thing. I stopped answering my phone for three days and just hauled up in my house. I was supposed to hit up The Today Show” and bunch of other shows to promote the movie but seriously, I just freaked out. Emile and some of the other cast members handled it all well and went on without me. No one was super pissed at me but I was pissed at everyone.

MTV tried apologizing to me by sending me flowers and making that douche Damien apologize on the show. Seriously, it didn’t make a difference to me if he apologized, the fucking damage was done. I knew I wasn’t supposed to avoid people but I did. It wasn’t the first time in my life that I ran from a problem; it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

Now, let’s get on the topic of Leila. The girl didn’t do anything wrong but I still refused to answer her calls. I was just so livid about what had gone down that I just wanted to isolate myself for the next couple of days. The only person I really saw was JC and it was because he needed to show me a track he completed.

On my third day of being isolated, I finally smacked the sense into myself. I think the fact that Leila had stopped trying to get in touch with me was really irking me. I had been ignoring her phone calls because I’m a dick that doesn’t know how to handle shit. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that I had probably hurt her. There was another reason to completely hate myself.

I always managed to fuck things up somehow, even when I’m trying not to. I guess it’s just because I can be so incredibly selfish, even when I’m trying my hardest not to be. I thought I was finally making a breakthrough with my attitude but apparently not. I had been trying so hard to be the man that Leila needed and seriously, I just fucked it all up with my inability to commit.

It’s not hard to be in a committed relationship for most people. I of course get to be the fucking exception to the rule. It wouldn’t be difficult for me to just admit to the world that I care about Leila and just deal with my shit. I’m sure Noah Jacobs would learn to accept me and I definitely believe that my Mom would be praising the ground that Leila walked on. Something just freaked me out at the thought of losing that freedom that comes along with being single.

So now, three days later, I waited for Leila to show up at my house. I was surprised that she even took my call considering that I had a very public breakdown on TRL and I had acted like a jerk off towards her. I now sat on my couch and anxiously waited for her arrival. It was one of those moments where ten minutes felt like ten fucking hours.

I rocked my knee back and forth in attempts to soothe my nerves. Shit like that only makes you stress out even more. I considered blazing to calm myself down, but I knew I wouldn’t have the time to do it. Leila walking in when I was half way through toking wouldn’t help my chances for forgiveness.

I’d acted really immaturely. The emails from Rachel, Johnny and every Tom, Dick and Harry that was involved with my career alerted me of that. I wasn’t stupid, I knew I blew off the handle and I blame it on the fact that Leila is a weak point for me. I knew I shouldn’t let shit like that make me upset especially when I’m on the fucking television, but I had a bad moment. It happens to everyone, I mean, I’m a fucking human, everyone is entitled to one or two of those breakdowns, right?

Then again, I justify my wrong doings way too much. I should just embrace them.

I got up when my doorbell rang and quickly jogged to the door. My ten minutes of stress had ended thankfully. I probably would have cracked if I had to endure another few moments of that. Me and waiting around do not mix well. It’s probably because as a celebrity I got used to getting what I want right away. There’s more proof that I’m just a spoiled fucking brat like everyone says I am.

“Hey.” Leila half smiled at me as I opened the front door to my home in the Upper East Side. The funny thing is, I always wanted to live in New York but I was always too busy to do so. Since I was taking a little break before my tour, I decided to rent out a house in New York and just work on my album. I didn’t think that all of this would bring so many changes to my life.

Leila was standing before me, looking completely unsure of herself. It bothered me that she felt this way. I was the one that messed things up, not her. I nodded my head at her and smiled before stepping aside to let her enter my house.

“How’ve you been?” Clearly Leila was trying to make small talk. Damnit, this shouldn’t have felt so awkward. This was not how things were supposed to be.

“I’m doing okay… better than a few days ago.” I led her into my living room where we sat together on the couch. Usually Leila would lie her head on my shoulder or climb on my lap. She now kept herself at arms length. I knew this was my doing for isolating her but I couldn’t help but feel completely upset about this. She should be in my arms, not hiding from me.

I should feel lucky that she’s even bothering with me.

“That’s good to hear.” She bit her bottom lip and looked down at her feet. “You know I’m really surprised that you called me.”

“Why?”

“I thought you hated me because of what happened.” She replied in a melancholy tone.

“Leila, I could never hate you… and you need to know that what happened was my fault. I should have been more careful when it came to us.” I stated, looking at Leila who pretty much refused to make eye contact with me. I didn’t really blame her for that.

“So you aren’t angry with me?”

“No, why would I be? Leila, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

A woman this amazing should never feel pain, yet I had done just that. Leila titled her head up to meet my gaze. Her eyes were a dark blue color today, with a green tone around the outline. It was amazing how her eyes always changed shades; they had become every shade of green and blue possible in the time I had known her.

Something about the way she looked at me always made me freeze in my motions. It wasn’t like she was judging me with her gaze, but something about it made me want to change. I just wanted to be a better man for her, the man she deserved.

“I just saw the TRL thing and assumed…”

“You know what they say about assuming…” I cracked a smile. “Tink, I was never mad at you, just the situation I was put in.” I replied to her statement. She seemed to finally relax a little and scooted over next to me.

She was quiet for a moment, just tracing patterns on my chest as she listened to the sound of my heart beating. My heart felt like it could burst at any moment. It was like she was meant to be in my arms always. I kissed the top of her head and inhaled the scent which I had missed these past few days. She always smelled like a mix of coconuts and vanilla. I think I’d always associate those smells with her.

“Next time you decide to haul yourself up in your house, can you at least give me the heads up?” She asked with an amused tone to her voice. I chuckled lightly at her words.

“I’ll try, okay?”

“You’d better.” She giggled and maneuvered her body so she was now sitting on my lap, straddling me. I gripped her hips and grinned at her.

“Why do you have to be so pretty?” I jokingly asked her.

“Why? Does me being pretty make it harder for you to get rid of me?” She winked at me.

“Sorry to burst your bubble, Tinkerbell but I don’t plan on getting rid of you.”

It was so easy for me to say stuff like this to Leila when we were alone. Fuck, I could probably promise her the world when we were one on one. I knew eventually her patience with me would probably wear out. I decided right then and there that I needed to be open with her about my situation before I fucked things up once again. If we were both clear there would be no issues.

“You’re cool with keeping this between us for a while, right?” That was probably a douche bag way for me to tell her that I was scared but I didn’t know any other way of doing it. Leila seemed cool with everything so I hoped she’d take it well.

She took a while to answer me again. I was almost afraid that my request was too much for her. “No uh that’s fine…”

“Good.” I smiled and pulled her closer to me by her hips. She squealed in delight, trying to back away from me, my smile only widened. “Where do you think you’re going, girl?!”

“Away from you!” Leila laughed.

“Sorry, not possible.” I pushed her on her back and crouched over her. Sending her a devious grin, I pulled up her tank top and began blowing raspberries on her belly. Her sunshine colored hair sprawled out around the couch and her eyes shut so tightly. As much as she pretended she didn’t like my tickling her, it was obvious that she loved it.

Leila was like sunshine in my life. She was always so happy and peppy; I don’t think the girl had a mean bone in her body. Every time she was around, I just felt so different. It was like I wasn’t the arrogant Justin that everyone knew; someone different inhabited my body. I was just as energetic and silly as she was. Even funnier was that my silliness usually consisted of dirty jokes, who knew that I could actually go beyond that and still get a laugh?

The thought of her smile makes me want to do these crazy things just so I can keep that look of content on her face. Fuck, I even ordered her Tinkerbelle pajamas during my confinement. She’s just always on my mind. It feels like I’m back in 7th grade, crushing on a girl for the first time. Everything just feels so new, it’s both a scary and amazing feeling.

I leaned down, our faces were mere centimeters apart and I was ready to lean in and kiss those lips that I had missed for three days. It was only typical that the door bell would ring and interrupt the moment. Fate was cruel.

“You wait right here, ok?”

“Alright, but hurry okay…” She spoke softly and winked at me at me as I got up. “I really want you…” It took everything I had in me not to tackle her to the ground and give her my cock. This woman should not tease me like this.

“You’ll get me, baby girl, don’t worry.” I ran to the door with every intention of telling the person that they better get the fuck off my property. I had a beautiful girl waiting and I was not about to keep her waiting.

I opened the front door a crack and stood stupefied. It took me a good five minutes to come to terms that three people were standing in my doorway, waiting for me to answer the door. I cleared my throat in hopes of finding my voice. I was terrified again because the people that I knew would judge me the most were standing at my front door, waiting for me. There was no getting out of this one.

“Hey baby!” My Mom lunged herself at me and scooped me into a tight hug. I was too stunned to even hug back. “You weren’t answering your phone, I was worried sick!”

“I uh… I’m sorry.” I responded and nodded a greeting at Trace and Rachel.

In less than a few moments my two worlds would come crashing together. Leila was going to meet the most important people in my life. I didn’t want this to happen, not fucking yet. I faked a smile and continued to stand in my doorway. Maybe they wouldn’t ask to come in? Oh damnit, who was I kidding?!

“Justin, what’s with you?” Rachel looked at me with a smirk. “Aside from the obvious insanity, of course.”

“Haha, so funny, Rach.” I rolled my eyes at her. “Nothing… I’ve just been busy with stuff…I really meant to call…”  My Mother shoved me aside and walked into my house. I took a deep breath in and braced myself for a crazy evening.

**Leila**

I had been sitting in the living room of Justin’s home waiting for him to come back from answering the doorbell. When ten minutes passed, I assumed he wasn’t going to come back at all. It figured that Justin would start playing these stupid games once again. His promises truly meant nothing to him.

“Baby, you look like you haven’t been eating well! Come on I’m going to fix you some good home cooked food.” A southern woman’s voice reached my ears. I stood up with curiosity and walked towards the foyer. Could this be Justin’s family coming to visit? How the hell was he going to react to that?

He pretty much begged me to keep our relationship a secret. I mean, that hurt me, it felt like he was ashamed of me or something. I’m too much of a coward to even question him about that too. That leaves me stuck with a million and one questions that I probably will never get answers to. I understand that he wants to take things slow, but he was the one that pursued me and started this fucking game. He makes me get so fucking caught up in him.

I think the main problem is that I don’t understand him. Justin assumes that everyone is just at par with him. I’m barely at the same level with myself. No seriously though, I like Justin’s attitude, I find his obliviousness endearing. Sometimes though, his selfishness completely stuns me. I try to give him the benefit of the doubt though; I mean people can change, right?

Actually, I’m not so sure about that. Justin claimed that he had changed and stopped with his games and then he began another. I spent a horrible three days agonizing over a relationship I thought was kaput. Don’t tell me he forgot to call me. I understand wanting space but that was just pretty cruel to do to someone that you supposedly like. Remind me never to get on Justin’s bad side. He seems like he can be vindictive when he wants revenge.

This situation made me feel like it was my fault at the same time. I tried hard not to push Justin to do anything. Up to that point, I thought I had succeeded.  Then the phone calls ended and don’t even get me started on that TRL interview of his. It seemed like he was fucking offended that people thought he was dating me. Was there something wrong with me? Would other people find me disgusting or “unworthy” of him? I just wanted to know if he was telling me the truth.

Those three days were hell for me, not only was I miserable but my fucking father forced me to go to the gynecologist. He claimed that if I was going to be hanging out (clearly he didn’t realize that I had already done the deed) with Justin that I needed to be on birth control. Seriously, that was just completely humiliating, especially since I wasn’t sure if I’d ever fucking talk to Justin again, let alone sleep with him.

You can have a nice laugh at the thought of me walking into the doctor’s office with my Father. I’m telling you, I felt like the entire office was staring at us when I walked in. I probably would have felt slightly better if I just would have been able to talk to Justin but he had to be Mister fucking Mysterious. Mia told me that I shouldn’t have answered my phone or went to see him. I couldn’t help it though, as much as he aggravated me, I still missed him.

“No, ma, I’m really not hungry, I’m fine…” Justin was looking completely terrified as I peeked from the doorway. My chest tightened because I knew right there that Justin wanted his family gone because I was there.

I held back any emotion for the time being. I wouldn’t get all blubbery in front of anyone; instead, I’d sneak the hell out and give Justin his privacy. I crept towards the back of the house so I could use the back exit. Just as I made my way towards the French door, the southern voice singled me out.

“Justin, who is that girl in your kitchen?”

I felt as if I was stuck to the ground. My mind instructed me to run the fuck away if I wanted to keep Justin, but I just couldn’t make myself move. I turned around, probably looking like a deer in headlights.

“Oh um… hi, I’m Leila… I was just leaving.”

“Leila… sweetheart, it’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m Lynn.” A woman who looked like a clone of Justin walked towards me and extended her hand to me. I shook hands with her and smiled shyly. “You don’t have to leave on account of us.”

“No no, I just have a lot of school work to do…” The lie spewed from my mouth so quickly, I was grateful that I could think fast on my feet. 

“Oh but you should stay, I was about to cook some dinner for my malnourished son.”

I bit my lip and looked over at Justin for an answer. To my surprise, he was staring at me with a crooked smile on his face. Was that my okay? I still wasn’t sure but I knew with Lynn pressuring me to stay, this wouldn’t be a fight that I would win.

“Um… I’ll stay but only for a little bit.”

Lynn grinned at me and placed her arm around my shoulder. “It’s always nice to meet a girl that is willing to make an honest man out of my boy.”

“Mom… we’re just friends.” Justin tensed up at the words from his Mother. I heard his Mother exhale deeply and I’m sure that if I would have looked up, she would have been shaking her head at him.

I forced myself to stare down at the ground and not meet anyone’s gaze. That was probably the easiest part. It was much harder to keep myself from crying. I couldn’t understand why I was upset; I mean I should have learned to expect asshole behavior like this from Justin. Why did it have to make me feel so shitty?

This wasn’t the moment to get emotional and stupid. I just had to pretend I didn’t care even though my insides felt like they were being ripped apart by his words. I didn’t think it was normal to be so affected by someone. I wished that I wasn’t.

“No one introduced us so I’ll do the honors… I’m Rachel and this midget is Trace.” A brunette with an athletic build smiled at me. I returned the smile, feeling as awkward as ever now.

 “Rachel, shut your mouth.” Trace glared at Rachel. “I happen to be a normal height.”

I remembered that Trace guy. When we were at the panty party, he had danced with me for about two minutes before Justin grabbed me. Thankfully, he didn't remember me. He was probably tanked that night.  

My boyfriend's best friend remembering me in my underwear was not something that I really wanted.

“Yeah, for a ten year old maybe,” Justin replied. He and Rachel broke out into a laughter that was infectious. I found myself starting to smile as I watched them act like little kids. It reminded me of playing around with my two brothers who always managed to tease me about something. Clearly Trace and I were very alike; we were both the ones who were picked on in our perspective families.

“Alright, y’all sit down and I’ll start cooking…” Lynn patted Justin on the head and went to work. She was pretty much cursing Justin the entire way for not having a stocked refrigerator.

We all sat down at the kitchen table while Lynn was running around cooking. That lady was like super woman or something. I couldn’t imagine traveling across the country and then having the energy to start cooking. I can honestly say that I was having fun and the awkwardness was quickly disappearing. Rachel and Trace rehashed embarrassing stories of Justin as a dorky teenager as we sat around the kitchen table. The whole while Justin threatened revenge on all of them.

“Oh my God! We should totally tell Leila about the time at Ashley’s birthday with the pool table.” Trace snickered while Rachel broke out into hysterics. It really looked like she was laughing so hard that she was about to cry.

“I REMEMBER THAT STORY!”

“That’s fucked up man! That isn’t even a funny story! It was fucking painful!” Justin said angrily from his seat next to me.

“JUSTIN! Watch your language!” Lynn called from the other side of the room. Justin sighed and sunk down in his seat, defeated.

“Now you HAVE to tell me.” Justin shot me the only dark glare which I just giggled at. He really tried too hard to be tough.

“Alright, so we were playing pool and I’m going to make the last shot… and I don’t remember what I happened but I got distracted…”

“You got distracted because some girl spilled a drink on her white shirt.” Justin shot back with a smirk on his face. Lynn made a sound of disgust which I couldn’t help but to laugh harder at. She was really a funny lady that seemed to be so comfortable with the craziness of her son and his friends.

“Whatever… she had big tits. Anyway, I shot the ball and Justin’s standing there as it flies off the table and like nails him in the balls.”

Rachel rested her head against the table as she laughed harder. It was kind of cool to see that these people would never allow Justin’s head to get too big. They were the forces that kept him grounded and out of trouble. Obviously he needed them in his life; he would probably be lost without them.

“The way he fell to the ground was priceless, I’d pay good money to see that again.” Rachel giggled.

Trace grinned at Justin, “I really am sorry about that, man.” Justin crossed his arms over his chest and pouted like a little kid. 

Something about seeing Justin Timberlake, the sex symbol and musical genius, turn red in embarrassment was kind of sexy. It just showed that he was not as perfect as everyone seemed to think he was. If only people could see this side of him, they would appreciate the person he is, not the person that the media portrays him as. I knew that if my Dad saw this guy that was so respectful in front of his Mother that he would just approve of him.

I bet if my own Mom was alive, she would approve too.

Through my own laughter, I scooted closer to him and whispered in his ear. “Don’t worry baby, I’ll take care of that cock later...”

“You’d better.” He turned and looked at me with a smirk. His embarrassment disappeared quickly.

“There are no secrets at this table!” Rachel exclaimed with a goofy smile. I bit my lip and smiled, letting Justin think of a lie this time.

“She just told me that she’s going to help me to think of a way to get revenge on you guys. At least I have one person on my side!”

“It won’t be hard to get her to join the dark side.”  Rachel stuck her tongue out at Justin.

That evening, I learned a dozen more stories about Justin and his childhood experiences. It was fun to say the least, but an angry call from Noah Jacobs beckoned me to leave earlier than expected. Justin wasn’t happy about that, especially after what I promised him, but oh well. It was better to leave them wanting more, right?

Chapter 17- Calm Before the Storm

“And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when”- “Everlong” by Foo Fighters

**Leila**

“Adrianna, are you alright?” I softly knocked on the bathroom door. My best friend was starting to worry me, she’d been sick on and off for the past week and refusing to go to the doctor. She aggravated the hell out of me with her stubbornness.

We were on vacation in Atlantic City for the weekend. Unfortunately we couldn’t go to a farther location because I had school and my father would have a heart attack. It was enough that I was lying to him by telling him that I was away with just Adrianna and Mia. He didn’t need to know that Justin and his friends were here too. He hated Justin enough as it was and I didn’t need another trip to the gynecologist or parenting class to scare me into abstinence. Not like that was happening anyway, but I chose to humor my Father.

He didn’t need to know that his little girl was having amazing sex with Justin Timberlake.

“I’m fine…” She groaned, sounding, well not fine. I sighed loudly.

“If you would have went to the doctor when I told you, you’d be enjoying your vacation, not puking in a bathroom the entire time.”

“Leila, just shut up.” I listened as Adrianna heaved once more. Blech. All I knew was that I better not catch whatever she had. I planned on enjoying my vacation in and out of bed with Justin.

We were going on two months of being together and a little over three of knowing each other. Justin didn’t really celebrate anniversaries though; I think it was his way of keeping things kind of casual. We knew we were together but he refused to acknowledge the special dates. I realized that it was his own fears ruling him. Justin let his fear of commitment rule his entire fucking life and that included our relationship.

I was beginning to accept that part of him though; I just hoped that one day he’d grow the fuck up. People can change right? I just had to except that unproven fact for the time being. I’d go crazy with thoughts like that.

Adrianna walked out of the bathroom looking a complete mess. I stepped aside and let her collapse on the bed she was sharing with Demario. This had to be some stomach virus she was having. Having a stomach virus felt like hell, I seriously wouldn’t wish that on anyone. I happen to get one once a year. Not a fun experience for me or anyone around me.

“Do you want me to order you tea or something?” I asked her.

“So I can throw it up? No, just give me a few, it’ll pass. It always does.”

“Always does? Wow, Adri, that isn’t cool.” I shook my head and sighed. “I’m calling Demario and telling him to get back here. You really don’t look good.”

“Lei, just be quiet for a minute, it’ll go away. I don’t want to make him worried.”

“He’s just your boyfriend; he should be informed about this stuff.”

She shot me a look that told me to shut up for the third time in this short conversation. I shrugged my shoulders and sat far from Adrianna. No offense to her but I didn’t need to get sick, especially when the following week was finals week. I definitely could have been doing a lot better in school but working on the album and hanging out with Justin took up a lot of time. I just needed to worry about passing my classes and then I could have a nice summer with Justin, possibly preparing for the release of my album.

My Dad didn’t realize that my dabbling with music was that serious. I don’t think he even knew that I had been signed to Justin’s record label, Tennman Records. When he did find out, he was going to hit the fucking roof. Oh well. I was almost twenty one years old, he needed to just deal with the fact that I was making my own life.

“I’m getting De, this isn’t fucking normal, Dri.” I got up and made my way to the hotel room door. Adrianna was protesting weakly behind me but I ignored her. She was seriously too stubborn for her own good.

I started towards the elevators, hoping that I could tear Demario and Justin away from the blackjack tables. I tried playing with them but ended up losing a good 500 dollars. Yeah, that’s when I drew the fucking line. Adrianna and I would stick to the damn slot machines like two little old ladies. All we needed was those big ass hats and pastel outfits, we’d be fucking set.

I trailed around the casino, looking for Justin and Demario but neither of them were in sight. I pouted, realizing that the smarter thing for me to do would have been to call Justin’s cell phone instead of stalk the hotel for him. I groaned and walked back towards the elevator. I would have a better chance of finding them both when I was armed with my cell phone. Sometimes I just had no brain.

The elevator was packed with people, some of them happened to be fifty year old high rollers that invited me back to their hotel room. Seriously, all that was left was for them to ask me how much. When the bell dinged for my floor I pretty much ran the fuck out of the elevator.

I may or may not have mentioned in the past that I’m pretty paranoid. So as I’m running down the hallway, I could have sworn that I heard those two men following me. I pulled my keycard out of my pocket and scrambled to open the door.

“Adri, I couldn’t find them..” I said from the doorway. Adrianna was lying on her stomach, half hanging off the bed. She looked up at me pitifully and I automatically felt horrible for her. I needed to find Demario and fast.  He was probably the only person that could get her to the doctors.

Just as I was going to move, a voice whispered in my ear. “Hey good lookin’…” I felt an arm snake around my waist and that was it for me. If I would have went to the self defense classes my father wanted me to take, this probably wouldn’t be happening. 

I screamed at the top of my lungs and as hard as I could, swung my foot back to knock my assailant in the balls. The person immediately let go of me and I ran terrified into Adrianna and Demario’s hotel room. What I didn’t expect to hear was the sound of laughing. I turned around quickly and stood stunned at the sight before my eyes.

Justin was kneeling on the ground his hand gripping his crotch. Demario was standing behind him with a hand over his stomach, laughing hysterically. Even Adrianna seemed to be giggling from her bedridden state.

“Justin… oh my God… I’m so sorry…” I stepped closer to him. He groaned out a response while Demario struggled to speak.

“Please don’t be sorry, that’s the best thing I’ve seen all day.”

I ignored Demario and hid a smile that slowly starting to form on my lips. I knelt down in front of Justin and touched his cheek gently. He was breathing heavily and concentrating on the ground, refusing to look at any one of us. I really hoped he wasn’t going to be mad.

“Baby, I didn’t mean to…” I tried to kneel down so I could look at his face. When I finally did, I noticed that his eyes were extremely glassy. My eyebrows furrowed in concern. “Baby are you crying?”

“Yeah… that fucking hurt.” He said in a weak voice.

“You’re crying?” Demario snorted and held onto the doorframe to support himself. If it was possible his laughing became louder.

Justin turned around and glared at Demario so he would shut the hell up. This didn’t stop the fun loving Demario from laughing, so Justin curled his hand into a fist and socked him in the crotch of his pants.

“Let’s see if you cry.”

My mouth dropped almost as fast as Demario sunk to the ground with a groan of pain. Justin’s pain seemed to be subsiding; he climbed to his feet and smirked at Demario. Adrianna bounced off the bed and to Demario’s side. Sick and all, she was down for her man. She really did care about him.

Justin turned his gaze to me quickly, “Was that absolutely necessary? You females don’t understand that a kick to the balls feels like someone is ripping your stomach apart.”

“Some old men were hitting on me in the elevator, I thought they were following me!”

“What?” Justin raised his right eyebrow. He didn’t like to let his jealous streak show often or at all. It was always obvious to me though. The look he had on his face was the same one he shot to guys that checked me out. He would glare so dangerously at them until they cowered away. He likes to stake his claim on things. “Who?”

“I don’t know, they were just creepy and thankfully gone.” I threw my arms around his torso in an attempt to calm him down. I didn’t need him getting upset over something that was clearly not important.

“You see them again and you call me, okay?”

I was starting to believe that Justin had some sort of trust issue along with his commitment fear. That just made it harder for him to trust me. It was hard enough getting him to open up to me as it was but now I felt like I had to balance on a tightrope so that he’d learn that I wasn’t like every other skanky female that he encountered in his life.

No girl had to go to those lengths to prove to someone that they were true. He should know after three months that I’m a good person and I’d never to that to him or anyone for that matter. I just hoped that one day he would be able to see that. It was all I could hope for. I guess that was becoming a huge theme with me.

“Of course.”

“Now onto important things… like the fact that your lips need to kiss and take care of my balls… along with other things… and I mean a big thing.” Justin smiled crookedly at me and adjusted the baseball cap on his head.

“Y’all are disgusting.” Demario said with irritation as he stood up. “J that fucking wasn’t cool. You don’t hit a man in the jewels.”

Justin shrugged his shoulders and grinned at his friend. Those two could be so mean to each other but I knew that when the going got tough, they just had each others backs. They just loved each other like brothers and I wouldn’t want to be the person that tried to break up their friendship. Of course, they were both close with JC, but since Justin and Demario were close in age and had similar personalities, they just clicked.

I really would have loved to see Demario and Justin in their younger years, pimping girls left and right. That probably would have been pure comedy. Those two boys thought they were hot shit. I’m not disagreeing with that at all, but it would be funny to see someone tear those giant egos down.

“You deserved it for laughing like an asshole.”

“Motha fucka, it was funny! You completely bitched out.” Demario laughed and placed an arm around Adrianna’s shoulder. He placed a sweet kiss on her cheek and turned his attention to her. “What’s wrong baby, you don’t look good.”

“She’s sick and has been sick for a week but refuses to go to the doctor!” I piped in and immediately received a glare from Adrianna. Justin was obviously fuming from Demario’s comments but by some miracle managed to keep his mouth shut.

“Baby girl, why you doing that for?” He pouted at her and stroked her cheek. I knew Adrianna well and that was all it took to make her melt. No wonder why she didn’t want me mentioning anything to De.

“I just think it’ll pass, it’s not a big deal.”

“If you’re not feeling well it has to be a big deal.” He responded. Adrianna was not going to win this argument. I hid my face in Justin’s shoulder as I giggled at the thought. Adrianna who was always stubborn was letting someone else win a fight. It was unbelievable.

“When we get back, I’ll go. Okay?” She pouted cutely at him. He seemed to like this answer and placed a kiss on her forehead to seal the deal.

“Aiight, so since Adri is sick, I think the four of us should have a private party right here.”

“Private party? Does that mean like an orgy? I’m not down for that.” I replied to Demario, shooting him an odd look as I spoke. He and Justin ended up laughing at me. It figures. Doesn’t everyone laugh at me?

“As sexy as sex with you and Adrianna sounds, no, that’s not what he means. De and I are greedy fucks who don’t share.” Justin grinned at me, squeezing my waist gently. I couldn’t help but to giggle at his silliness.

I just had to assume he was joking. No one could be that much of a perv, right? I’m over analyzing again.

“Na, I’m thinking we have some drinks, smoke a little and chill out in the hot tub. Fuck going down to the casino where we’re gonna be gawked at.” Demario said.

“Yeah, besides we don’t know where those mother fucking paparazzi are and I seriously don’t want my ass plastered all over Star Magazine for a third fucking week.” Justin replied bitterly.

Being two young people in the spotlight, our relationship caused quite a commotion. People seemed to be obsessed with our relationship. Each week pictures were put together in hopes of creating an almost believable but quite obviously fabricated story. Huge oxymoron right there.

Anyway, it was really irritating to Justin that his private life was sprawled all over tabloids. He bitched to everyone with a listening ear and tore apart any paparazzi that made their way within 10 feet of him. I blamed this all on his obvious issues with relationships. It would be too much to bear if I even let negative thoughts in. I just refused to believe that this was about me personally.

At least I tried to convince myself that I didn’t believe that. Sometimes the dark thoughts crept in on me and I started to feel like I was drowning. The topic of me being unworthy of Justin was a sore one. It was better to avoid it all together.

Adrianna knew letting Justin continue with his words would lead to an unnecessary rant. She quickly changed the topic. Bless her. “That sounds like fun actually, but you boys make anything fun surprisingly.”

“That’s cause we’re off the chain.” Demario grinned. “Now, report to the hot tub in no more than 15!”

**Justin**

Leila and I walked back to our hotel room hand in hand. I don’t know what it was about that girl but I was just always excited to be around her. I had been to Atlantic City at least a hundred times, but going with her felt like a completely new experience. Leila could turn the most mundane experience into something so different. I think it’s because she is this little ball of sunshine in my life. She just brightens everything and makes me look forward to waking up in the morning.

I sound so fucking lame and pussy whipped right now, but Leila just got under my skin. I’ll never let her know how much. She would have complete control of me if she knew and that is probably how the relationship would end. I was planning on keeping this girl around for as long as I could so yeah, that was not an option.

So far our relationship was good as well as extremely different from any I’ve ever been in. Leila’s a very go with the flow person and doesn’t expect shit from me. To an extent, this makes me want to do more for her, to just spoil her and make her completely happy. I didn’t need her going to find someone else because I wasn’t doing a good job at this boyfriend thing.

I really wanted to take her to Hawaii and teach her how to surf but her Dad has her on the shortest fucking leash. All she has to do is mention me and apparently he gives this death look. Noah Jacobs doesn’t hide his dislike for me, I give him props for being honest about it, but seriously, he’s got another thing coming if he thinks I’m staying away from his daughter. He can go fucking kick rocks for all I care.

It does suck though because I can’t go over to her house without having everyone there stare at me like I have a dick on my forehead. I try not to go over there because I think they, especially Aiden, are looking for a chance to kick the shit out of me. Like if they found out that Leila and I were in Atlantic City together, I think they would all show up here and tear me the fuck apart in less than ten fucking minutes.

“When are JC and Mia coming?” Leila’s questioned knocked me out of my thoughts. I shrugged my shoulders at the valid question. The two should have arrived this morning. It was very unlike JC to be late to anything.

“I don’t know… I’ll give JC a call and find out.” I unlocked the door to the suite we shared. She bounced in and ran to her suitcase to scramble to find the perfect bikini. I grinned at her, thinking about how fifteen minutes was perfect time for a quickie. I knew I’d get an eye roll if I mentioned that. She seems to think that I’m always thinking about sex, which is kind of true. I didn’t want her to think that was all I wanted from her though.

I grabbed my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed JC’s phone. Surprisingly, it went straight to voicemail. That was unlike JC to keep his phone off, he always had it on. I frowned at looked over at Leila who was pulling out a white bikini.

“His phone is off… I don’t know. Maybe they decided not to come?”

“It figures that Mia would back out,” She sighed. “I just hope she doesn’t get me in trouble for this.”

Mia was another one who didn’t care for me. Not like I didn’t blame her either, I’d acted pretty shitty towards Leila in the beginning and Mia seemed to hold grudges. Her not showing up was probably her way of showing her dislike for me. It wasn’t like anyone didn’t realize that she hated me so it was ultimately a waste of a vacation for her. She needed to accept that I wasn’t walking away anytime soon.

“Whatever, if they do just tell your Dad I forced you to go.” I grinned widely at her. “I doubt he could hate me much more.”

“He doesn’t hate you… he’s just concerned…” She replied. I rolled my eyes at her words. “Okay… if he does hate you it’s not that much. Better?”

My smile didn’t fade, “Not really.”

“He’ll learn to like you.”

“Doubtful,” I laughed. “Well, I think the day we break up, he’ll love me.”

For some reason, Leila didn’t find my comment funny. She rolled her eyes and went about changing into her bikini. I looked at her confused as I leaned against the small desk in the room. Females are so confusing sometimes. I swear.

“What?”

Leila had her back to me and was unusually quiet. Usually she’d be giggling about something silly or teasing me since she was fucking getting naked in front of me. Did I do something wrong?

“Nothing.” Why the fuck did girls have to always get upset and then just avoid the question? That shit pisses me the fuck off. It’s like okay, lets talk about the issue not just avoid it completely.

Um… actually discard that. I happen to be a female sometimes when it comes to shit that makes me scared.

“You’re upset about Mia not being here?” I asked quietly. Leila didn’t respond instead she just continued to change her clothes in silence. I didn’t like this at all. I slowly moved behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. “Baby… don’t shut me out.”

She laughed softly but it sounded completely forced. Why was she shutting down on me now of all times? I hate not getting my way. I usually press and press until it happens, now was not going to be an exception.

“Justin, I’m fine. You’re too paranoid.” I still didn’t believe her. I instead exhaled deeply and rested my chin on the top of her head. Her naked back was resting against my clothed chest. Two months of having this girl and she still drove me crazy. She still made me want her all the time.

This isn’t like me. I usually get bored with women within the first week or so. I continually want Leila around, not only to have mind blowing sex with but to just be my companion. I’ve never had many female friends aside from Rachel; I think it was because I usually saw girls as sex objects. Leila is more than that for me; she’s becoming my best friend. That is the scariest thing of all; she’s the person I want to call when things go wrong and I just want to be with her all the time.

I wasn’t sure if this was even normal. Doesn’t it take like years to cement a strong friendship? My *NSYNC brothers, Trace and Demario are all my friends because we’ve been through so much and our friendship has stood the test of time. Leila and I just started this fucked up journey which has been pretty rocky to say the least. I was just so confused with everything and the days weren’t making anything clearer, if anything it was becoming worse.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Sucks for you then,” She laughed hollowly.

I kissed the top of her head and sighed, “Do I have to kiss the truth out of you?”

“It’s just not important,” Leila replied. “But I’m up for the kissing part.”

I knew it was futile to force something out of Leila. She could be more stubborn than me sometimes. I turned her around so she was facing me and kissed her supple pink lips. It wasn’t long before one hand was attempting to rip her bikini bottoms off. She giggled like an adorable little girl and I grinned like the cocky bastard I was. Within moments I’d have her underneath me, probably close to cumming. I liked that I had that affect on her, that she was like fucking putty in my hands.

“Baby… we can’t!” She squealed,

“Why not?” I pouted at her. My pout always seemed to get me what I wanted. Unfortunately this time it would not be the case.

“Because we promised Demario and Adrianna that we would be back in fifteen minutes.” She grinned at me and pinched my cheek. “Besides, I like seeing you suffer. I’m cruel like that.” Leila pushed away from my grasp and I quickly went after her. I don’t like to take no for an answer obviously.

“Tink, you’re mean. Come on… we could fit a quickie in,” I grinned at her, tickling her hips. She once again backed away from me and pulled her bikini top on. I let out another exasperated sigh. “This isn’t fair!”

“Life isn’t fair,” She beamed at me and grabbed a towel from the closet. “Now go get changed.” She bounced towards the doorway and left me in the room, horny and agitated. I think she gets off on teasing me or something. It’s like she knows how much I want her and uses it to her own fucking advantage. It works every time too.

I never would have thought that I would be dating Noah Jacobs’ daughter. Seriously I had met him once before during my *NSYNC days and he was a complete jackass. He’s an amazing entertainer but completely egotistical. Even worse than me. At least my family is fucking normal.

It wasn’t surprising that my Mother, Rachel and Trace all liked her. They said she was a sweet girl and that they were glad to see me growing up. Is it wrong that I wanted them to have a problem with her? Like maybe then I wouldn’t be so nervous about this relationship. I mean, I knew what I was getting into when I pursued her but sometimes these feelings get so fucking intense that it’s scary. I want to run away and hide like a little fucking bitch.

I’m really not trying to give off the creepy Michael Jackson vibe by saying this, but I think I’m a lot like Peter Pan. I don’t want to grow up. I want to mess around and enjoy my youth but I still want to be with her. I just… I’m at this fucking crossroads in my life and I know I can’t be with her and be free. I just need to man up and I don’t know how. I’m an insensitive, selfish person, that’s a given, but I do want to change. I think it would be awesome if I could finally grow up for Leila.

I changed into a pair of black swim trunks and walked down the hall to Demario and Adrianna’s hotel room. The door was open and when I walked in, I saw the three of them sitting in the giant hot tub. Demario was readily smoking and drinking, he looked like a regular fucking Mafia Don, like that Tommy Ryan dude from Florida. That sick one that kills people for drugs and shit. Scary ass people, I think one of them even has my name. Sick.

Demario was grinning at me, one arm draped around each girl, “Took you a while bro.”

“My girl flat left me, sorry.”

“We heard.” Adrianna grinned. That girl was still looking a little sick too but Demario took care of her well. I think seeing him get serious with a girl was giving me the confidence to keep something with Leila. I mean, if Demario could do it, so could I, right?

“It wasn’t cool of her, and it ain’t cool of you to put the mack on my girl when I’m not around.” I grinned as I hopped in the hot tub and put my arm around Leila. She and Adrianna giggled.

“Dude, you snooze you lose. I wasn’t going to let all that pretty go to waste.” Demario laughed as Leila blushed and snuggled into my chest. “Aw, Leila, I didn’t mean to make you blush like that.”

Adrianna and Leila burst out into loud laughter. I didn’t understand why they were laughing though. I just assumed they were like fucking hyenas when they were together. Demario and I end up laughing awkwardly in response. They just laugh louder at this. I shook my head and took the blunt from Demario, oddly enough Adrianna passed on it. She claimed she was too sick or something.

Who was ever too sick to toke? I laughed to myself and inhaled deeply. Demario and I always got the best weed. No wonder why everyone always wanted to blaze with us. We were just awesome to be around when high. We make everything fun. Like seriously we just sit there and laugh at the most retarded things. I think watching us has to be entertainment in itself.

When we’re high and drunk we get completely stupid. One night we tried to reenact the “paper cuts” segment from the Jackass movie. We were trying to convince each other that paper cutting our balls was a smart idea. Thankfully, Leila and Adrianna talked us out of it. That shit would have stung like a mother fucker. Thank God for them taking care of the family jewels… in more ways then one.

“You passing too, Leila?” I asked my blonde girlfriend.

“Na,” She replied and took the joint from my hand. She was getting better at inhaling too now that we had been practicing often. I’m confident in saying that she probably never smoked before I introduced her to it.

Maybe you could say I was corrupting her little by little and that had always been a fear of mine. I tried telling myself that I was making her grow up and become a woman. Not that she already wasn’t but in these past few months Leila was growing up. She was putting a lot of effort into working on her album, which was coming out amazing. It was only a matter of time before her career blew up.

“Remember… try and hold it in.” I instructed while Demario chuckled. I stuck up my middle finger at him. “Don’t laugh at my girl.”

“I’m laughing at you trying to be the fucking teacher.” Demario yanked the blunt from Leila’s hand and laughed again. “I’d be the better teacher being that I fucking schooled you in that shit.”

I rolled my eyes at Demario and smirked, “I remember that being the other way around… but you can keep tellin’ yourself that bro.” We always were stupid and joked around. The girls seemed to take us seriously at first but soon enough they came to accept our fucked up friendship.

You know, it was safe to say that I was happy with the way my life was. I was scared shitless at points but I was seriously just content with my life. Leila wasn’t possessive of me even though I was clearly like that towards her. I tried not to become comfortable in the relationship but it was quickly happening. I just wanted to let my guard down and sometimes I did.

Like at that moment, I leaned over and kissed Leila. I wasn’t sure if the slight high was making me feel more for her, but I swear I felt these feelings… like love or some shit. I fought them with everything I had in me. I didn’t need that shit complicating my life. There was no way I was going to be some girl’s love sick little bitch ever again. That’s like asking for the girl to snap a leash on your cock and then give her pussy to everyone but you.

Like I said, I didn’t need that shit in my life. We were both perfectly content with keeping the warm, gushy feelings out of this relationship. There was no need in fucking with something that wasn’t broken or whatever fucking saying that was. Besides, you aren’t supposed to say something unless you are completely sure of it, right? I wasn’t either. I mean, who the fuck knew if I could ever lo- have strong feelings for Leila. It wasn’t good to fuck with someone’s mind like that.

“Would you stop swapping spit in my hot tub? It’s pretty nasty,” Adrianna snickered at us. Obviously she was feeling better.

“But you guys fucking in my guest room is any different?”

“Yes it is, we did our business in privacy, thank you very much.” Demario placed a wet kiss on Adrianna’s cheek. She blushed incessantly, it was pretty cute. She was a lot like Leila when it came to that stuff.

“We weren’t even doing anything remotely freaky!” Leila defended.

“I know you sex fiends were thinking it though!” Demario responded. Leila hid her face in my shoulder and giggled. Of course we were thinking it; we were probably sleeping together almost as much as Adrianna and Demario were.

Did I mention how awesome it was that she was on the pill and I could just bust up inside her pussy? I loved it; I fucking hate condoms… and that’s probably too much info, but just fucking deal with it. You people already know I’m a horny bastard.

I wish I could have kept my life in a little bubble, when everything was ideal, but that’s impossible. With our struggles, we grow up and change; we truly learn who we are. Moments of pure happiness don’t prepare you for utter destruction; instead it makes that fucking pain completely unbearable. Your entire world collapses because you were trying so hard to hold onto a dream. Clearly I’m bitter and I don’t believe in a perfect world or a happy ending. It just isn’t realistic.

This was the period that some people would call the “Calm before the storm”. Let me tell you, a storm was coming that was going to change everyone and everything forever. 

Chapter 18- Drift Away

“When passion's lost and all the trust is gone,
Way too far, for way too long
Children crying, cast out and neglected,
Only in a world so cold, only in a world
This cold
Hold the hand of your best friend, look into their eyes
Then watch them drift away
Some might say, we've done the wrong things,
For way too long, for way too long”- “World So Cold” by Mudvayne

*Leila*

I sat in the waiting room of the Doctor’s office that Adrianna was getting checked out in. Busily I flipped through an issue of OK! Magazine, I never realized how interesting it was to read about yourself. Apparently the world thought I was a spoiled little girl who was bleeding both my Dad and Justin dry.

Like I could think of the ways to spend that much money. People are so fucking ridiculous.

You know, it also completely pisses me off that they print the unflattering pictures of me. I either am about to talk or I look like a fucking cow from the awkward angles they get me. I religiously go to Dlisted.com and Michael K was even ragging on me. He made some stupid comment about how when I squint my eyes I look mentally challenged. I seriously fucking sat there horrified for a couple of minutes. Reading about someone who was physically ripping you apart could do a number for your self esteem.

I got over that though, I mean it wasn’t like I was blind to my own physical imperfections. I didn’t walk around thinking I was the most beautiful woman in the world or anything. There was no need for anyone to try and crush me or knock my nonexistent ego down.

“SexyBack” playing on my cell phone notified me that Justin was calling. Yes, I’m extremely cheesy like that. I mean I have personalized ring tones for everyone but his just gets to be extra cute. I will never, ever let him find out about that though, he’d have a fucking field day making fun of me for it. Justin could never appreciate cuteness.

“Hey babe,” I answered my cell phone with a smile. Leave it to Justin to bring a smile to my face and tear me out of the bleakest of moments.

“You out of the doctors yet?” He asked impatiently. Justin had wanted me to finish recording the track he wrote especially for me. “Rehab” (no, not the Amy Winehouse song) was amazing and he was obsessed with it. I mean at first, I wanted him to record it because it seemed like it meant a lot to him, but finally after much prying, he confessed he wrote it for me to sing.

He was always passionate about everything; I think that’s what attracted me to him. Justin never half assed his work, he made damn sure that it was perfect. I was usually the same way so we managed to get a lot of shit done. Sure I wanted to finish the track right now too but Adrianna had begged me to go to the doctors with her so here I was. I would drop everything for my friends, I loved them that much.

“No baby, I’m still waiting for her.”

“Go make her hurry up.” He whined. It surprised me how much a twenty-six year old man could whine. I was quickly learning that Justin was a baby when he didn’t get things to go his way.

“Because I’m supposed to barge into the doctor’s office in the middle of the exam and make her leave?” I asked him with annoyance. He sighed loudly in protest; did he realize how ridiculous he sounded? I shook my head as if he could see me. “Justin, you need to learn that patience is a virtue.”

“My Mom tells me that shit. I don’t like it.”

“You’re going to have to learn to.”

He huffed again and I swear, I’d smack him if he was in the vicinity, “Babe, I don’t even understand why you had to go. We need to finish the song.”

“We will, just an hour later.”

“You smartass,” I could tell that he was pouting. He had to think he was being cute or something. Seriously a grown man who acted like a five year old was not cute. “Why is it taking so long anyway?”

“I don’t know,” I replied. I was pretty nervous about that too; Adrianna was being examined for the last hour. I didn’t understand what was taking so long? Being the pessimist that I am, I went over every fucked up scenario I could imagine. I don’t think I could handle it if something was wrong with my best friend.

“Call me when you’re done?”

“Yes, loserface.”

“You don’t call my face a loser when it’s between your legs and making you cum… it’s not nice to be hypocritical.” I could hear the smirk on his face. Arrogant asshole.

“Why does everything have to be about sex with you?” I said almost a little too loudly. A few little old ladies turned to look at me oddly; I sunk down in my seat and tried hiding behind my cell phone.

“Because, my Leila, sex is the most important action of all and don’t tell me you don’t enjoy it.”

“I’m hanging up now. Bye,” I blushed and hit the end button on my phone.

Justin and I could be as different as night and day. He was so open about sex and the slightest insinuation of it caused me to blush. I think Justin got a kick out embarrassing me. It was also something easy to do, I’m pretty sure he and Demario made a game out of seeing how many times they could make me blush. Either that or he was trying to break me of my shyness towards the subject. It worked sometimes.

“Sexyback” playing again noted me that Justin was calling again. I should have known that he was going to get pissed that I hung up on him. Timberlake always had to have his way and he always had to win. Usually he did too.

“Woman, you don’t hang up on someone when they’re speaking!” He scolded me when I answered his call.

I giggled at his irritation, “Whoops.”

“Yeah, yeah, I think I’ll say that when I’m in the middle of eating your pussy, I’ll randomly get busy or some shit.”

Did I not say that he had to turn everything into something perverted? It wouldn’t be Justin if he didn’t relent or make something sexual out of the mundane. Fucking whacko. If only his adoring mother knew what a pervert her son was, she’d slap the horny right off him.

Though sometimes, I didn’t mind the horny at all… ;) No girl in her right mind would mind either.

“And if I did that to you, you’d have a seizure.” I replied with a smirk on my face.

“That’s very true…. But seriously babe, you should come here so we could finish the song and then we can maybe, possibly, definitely fuck later on.”

Sometimes he made me think that all I was to him was a good lay. I didn’t really think I was that good but he seemed to want sex all the time. I guess I must have been decent or something. I don’t know, I mean I liked sex with him but I just couldn’t help but wonder sometimes if he compared me to all the other women he’s been with. Curiosity mad me question if I even added up to those women.

My low self-esteem was not the complete issue this time; it was the fact that I was dating one of the sexiest men in the world. I knew I had to force myself to become more comfortable in the relationship. Oxymoron, much?

“Justin, go get a hobby.”

“I thought you were my hobby.”

I snorted loudly, causing the same old ladies to look at me again. “Get back to the music making, bitch.” I blushed and was about to say my goodbyes to him just as Adrianna walked into the waiting room, looking pale as a ghost. “Uh… J, I’ll call you back.” There was no time for cuteness when my friend was looking as freaked out as she was.

I didn’t even want to think about what could possibly be wrong with Adrianna. The last time someone came back from a doctor’s office looking upset, it turned out that they were terminally ill. That was my Mother, for the record, and I don’t think I’ve fully recovered from that devastation. I don’t think anyone in my family has.

Seeing Adrianna looking upset opened up unhealed wounds. I stood up from my seat and stared at Adrianna dumbfounded. Was something wrong with my best friend? Was I going to lose her the same way I lost my Mother? I bit at my lip and placed my hand on her shoulder.

“What happened?” I hit the ignore button on my ringing phone. Justin needed to understand the meaning of “I’ve gotta go.”

“Let’s go to the car,” She breezed past me and I can only follow her, dumbfounded. Was this seriously happening? I followed Adrianna, shaking so hard that I could barely find the keys in my purse.

I feigned composure and unlocked the car door. Adrianna immediately got in the passengers seat, still looking completely dejected. That wasn’t helping my nerves. Oh God, what had happened?

The speakers immediately burst with the new Usher song, “Love in this Club”. Adrianna made some sort of hissing sound and changed the radio station. I would have giggled at her action if it wasn’t for the somber mood. Adrianna hated the Usher song because it reminded her of an ex-friend of ours who actually had sex with three separate guys in a club. Gutter trash whore.

“Adri, please tell me that everything is alright…” I asked my friend from the driver’s seat of my idling yellow Porsche. Adrianna shook her head and rested her head in her hands. Was this worse than I had anticipated?

Silence filled the car. I fought the urge to heave; I shoved it deep down into my body and forced a state of calm. My best friend didn’t need me freaking out for her, she needed my strength. I reached over and rubbed her shoulder blade. She barely acknowledged the touch.

“We can get you the best doctors and the best care… Adrianna… you’re going to be alright… I swear.”

Adrianna’s head snapped up; confusion was painted all over her face. “Wait, I think we’re on the wrong page here.”

“Explain please.”

“I… I can’t even say it.” She resumed her position of her head in her hands. Needless to say, I was as confused as ever. “I don’t know what I’m going to do…”

“Would you just spit it out? Once you tell me what’s going on we’ll figure out a way to make this better.”

“I think that’s pretty fucking impossible.” She spat out nastily. This was not the fun-loving Adrianna I knew, what the fuck was going on with her? “I’m sorry, ignore me… it’s the hormones making me crazy.”

That’s when it clicked for me. My hand flew over my mouth and I stared at my best friend in complete shock. How could this have happened? Why were Adrianna and Demario not more careful? Were they not using a form of contraceptive? I just wanted to shake the sense into my friend. How could she have been so irresponsible? I mean, it’s cool to have fun but use a condom, or make sure to be on the pill!

Granted, Justin and I weren’t very safe our first time, but that was a fluke and would never happen again. Anyway, I didn’t want to judge Adrianna, so I fought down any Motherly or protective responses I wanted to send her way. I chose to ask her an important question that I wasn’t sure if she could answer just yet.

“What are you going to do?”

Adrianna replied, her voice just over a whisper, “I don’t know… I need to talk to De…”

“You want me to take you to him?” I knew Demario was at the studio with Justin, working on yet another song with Timbaland. I was pretty sure it was for 50 Cent but I wasn’t really sure. It seemed like Justin was working with almost everyone, it was hard to keep up with his busy schedule.

I knew it was about to get busier now that he was going on tour. I’d probably see a lot less of him and that bothered me. I tried not to let that thought enter my mind too often. When it did, it rendered me almost unable to breath. I was used to seeing Justin close to everyday; it would be hard to separate myself from him for what would probably be months.

But that wasn’t the main issue right now…my best friend was pregnant. That was on the top of my priority list.

“Yeah, thank you, Lei.”

“Don’t sweat it, you just need to relax and take care of yourself.”

I half smiled at my friend, hoping that she and Demario would figure out how to make this better. They were both civilized adults who could decide to keep this baby or figure out whatever alternative was best for them. I just hoped they were strong enough to not let it destroy them.

**Justin**

I sat in a swivel chair, paying close attention to the playback of the beat Timbaland and I had made for 50 cent. It was a hot beat and I could definitely see the three of us making a crazy summer anthem out of it. I leaned back in my chair and smiled, life was really good for me, my career had taken off, I was getting ready to go on tour and I had an amazing and loyal woman by my side. Life was a lot of fucking fun during that time, it was simple and happy.

“Man that fucking song is tight,” Demario said from the seat next to me. Thank God for him coming down to the studio to help us out. We would have been there all night if it wasn’t for him. “You gonna do the chorus for it?”

“Yeah, 50’s supposed to come here this weekend and we’re gonna lay down the vocals and tweak some shit. Tim and I have been working on my part, it’s pretty tight.” I grinned; I was feeling very confident about this new song. I could just tell by hearing it that it was going to blow the fuck up. I’m not being cocky about it; I just can tell a hit when I hear it and this was a fucking hit.

I lifted my arms over my head and stretched. I’d been in the studio since early that morning and all I wanted to do was take my girl out to eat and possibly put it down. Who the fuck am I kidding? I’d definitely be putting it down tonight. I’m lucky that my girl can’t get enough of me. Most guys have to beg for pussy, all I have to do is give her a smile and I know I’ve got her. It’s kind of fucked up, but I’m happy that I have her in the palm of my hand. It made me a little more comfortable with her. She wasn’t going anywhere, right?

“What are you guys doin’ tonight?” Demario asked me.

“I don’t know, I was thinking about going out to eat with Leila… maybe keeping it local so we don’t get everyone in our fucking faces, you know?”

“I hear that… I was thinking about cooking dinner for Adrianna. I know she hasn’t been feeling well so I wanna try and make her feel better.”

I laughed a little at my friend, “The two of us are just pussy whipped, aren’t we?”

“Nah, we’re not whipped, we’re just… I don’t know.” Demario laughed and slumped down into his own chair. His hand swooped over his buzzed hair and sighed. “Who would have thought that the two of us would ever even have this conversation?”

“I was thinking the same fucking thing man…”

The two of us were such pimps two months ago. I never thought in my life that a fucking female would get me so completely sprung. I guess I’ve proved that the impossible can actually happen. I did it with my music career, becoming one of the biggest solo acts of the century and rising above my teen heartthrob status. I’m not bragging but just completely amazed at how anything can happen.

“Are you scared?” I asked him without thinking. I realized quickly that I probably looked like a pussy for even letting the question slip. It made my own apprehension visible. That’s like one of my number one rules, completely broken. I never let a lack of confidence show to anyone. It makes you look weak and I’m certainly not weak.

I expected Demario to laugh, but instead he shocked me with his answer, “A little… I mean, shit I’m happy with everything and I want it to stay this way. I don’t want any complications, you know?”

“I hear that man. I think it’s that I turned off really liking someone for so long and now that I do, I feel like I’m fucking walking in the dark. I don’t know what I’m doing and I’m scared to fuck it up.”

“You ain’t gonna fuck it up, neither of us are. We just gotta continue to take things slowly.” Demario assured me. I nodded my head at him.

He was right, if Leila and I took things slowly as we were, things would be okay. I wouldn’t freak out at our growing closeness then. I think the most fucked up thing is that Leila is the first girl since Britney that I can actually see a future with. That should be a good thing, right? It is and that makes me want to run screaming sometimes. I don’t want to get hurt but I still can’t seem to walk away. Walking away only makes me want her more.

I tried the walking away thing and it didn’t fucking work. I came right back to Leila, still fearing but still wanting. If it was easy enough, I’d want to turn that desire for her off. I’d flip a fucking switch and just turn my damn emotions. I couldn’t even say that it was just a sexual attraction because I sometimes even felt slightly possessive of Leila. When other guys looked at her, I just had to do something to claim my territory, whether it was a kiss or slinging my arm around her; I liked them to know that they had to back off.

But then, I was a hypocrite. I refused to go public with our relationship and even tell my own fucking family. They all figured that we were together though. I mean we were pretty fucking inseparable and occasionally caught by the fucking paparazzi which led for us to be pasted on every magazine cover. I hated that shit but it’s the price you pay for fame. It would have been a lot easier to be famous in the 80’s, I guess there was more of a level of privacy.

  Speaking of nosey people, I found out from JC that he and Mia purposely didn’t come to AC because they think I treat Leila like my property. It was their way of “boycotting the relationship”. Give me a fucking break. They make it out like I’m some fucking demon that is going to destroy Leila or something. I take care of her and I think that considering my fears and shit, I’m doing a pretty good job at this boyfriend thing. I don’t get enough fucking credit.

Anyway, I could give two fucks what they think. The minute Leila starts complaining is the day I’ll realize that I’m a douche and do something about it.

“So what if Dri starts to ask for more? Like she wants something serious, would you be okay with that?”

Demario looked at me quietly for a moment. He carefully considered his words before speaking, “I don’t think either of us are ready for something serious… she’s still in school and I’m busy with my career…I know that she isn’t ready for that.”

“I’m not saying that she will… this is a hypothetical question, De. What would you do?”

“I’d try to make her understand that it’s not the right time for us to get serious.”

“Do you think it would be that easy?” I scoffed at him.

“No,” He replied with a laugh. “Justin, are you that scared?”

I lied, I didn’t want to risk sounding like a pussy, “Nah man, just curious.”

“You sure about that?” He teased with an annoying smile on his face. I wanted to punch that smile right off his face. Condescending bastard, he knows me too well for my own good. In ways, most of my friends do. If you added all the dirt they have on me, it would equal one juicy tell all book.

I was grateful that Leila and Adrianna interrupted this said conversation between Demario and I. It was quite uncomfortable for me to talk about how much of girl I was. All Demario had to do to make me feel less emasculated was put a bow in my hair and call me Justina.

Leila plopped herself down on my lap and I grinned. My hands made their way around her tiny waist and I held her close to me as our lips touched. It always felt like there was some sort of electricity in the air when we kissed. I know that sounds pretty fucking queer of me but she’s just Leila. Everything is different when I’m with her, every experience is different.

Do you blame me for being scared now?

“You’re far…far too late,” I smirked at Leila after pulling apart from our explosive kiss. “I think you may need to be punished. I think a spanking is in order.”

She giggled and put her hand to the palm of my chest and pushed, “Perv.” I couldn’t help but laugh at her cuteness as I played with one of her pigtails. Yep, Leila wasn’t afraid to walk around in pigtails. I usually made fun of chicks that did that shit, like my idiot ex-girlfriend; it looks like they’re trying to recapture their childhood or appeal to pedophiles or some shit. Leila just looks adorable in them but still sexy. Seriously, I should try to convince her to wear a school girl outfit or some shit. That’d be fucking sexy.

Adrianna and Demario disappeared from the room, so I figured it was perfect time to give Leila the small gift I had for her. I don’t usually buy Leila gifts but I went out shopping with my Mother and ended up finding something that just screamed Leila. I couldn’t just not buy it for her. My Mom did look at me oddly when I decided to buy it

“You know it, baby.” I said and winked at her. “I got you something.”

“If you’re going to tell me it’s in your pants, I’ve already had that many times.”

Oh, I was definitely corrupting this girl. I was bringing the freaky side out of her. Sometimes she would blush at the slightest innuendo of sex but she was getting cooler and cooler with it as time went on. I loved making her blush though, it was kind of sexy. I think I found everything about this girl sexy.

“Girl, if I wanted to give you my cock I wouldn’t have to tell you.” I replied through laughter. Reaching out with Leila still on my lap, I grabbed a small gift bag from underneath the desk. Placing it her hands, I noticed she was looking at me skeptically. “Open it.”

“You realize you didn’t have to buy me anything, right?” She asked, fighting a smile.

“Of course but I saw this and I just had to buy it… and before you even ask, it’s not sexual.”

God, her smile was infectious. I leaned back in my chair smiling as she opened the gift bag carefully. I never get excited about watching people open gifts, let alone buying them stuff. Leila is always so grateful, it makes me want to go out and buyout every fucking store until my credit card can’t take it anymore. All girls should be like her. Men wouldn’t have so many fucking bills that way, or that just might work in the opposite.

Gently she took out the Swarovski box and opened it. Within seconds the Tinkerbell figurine was in her hands. I grinned widely as she gaped at it, stunned. She studied it carefully for a moment before finally speaking.

“Justin… this is so beautiful,” Her blue-green eyes met mine. “But you’re crazy… you probably spent way too much.”

“Tink, be quiet,” I smiled and leaned in to place a quick kiss on her lips. “You put up with me, it was the least I could do.”

“I guess I’m stuck with this Tink nickname then, huh?”

“Yep, at least until I come up with a new one.”

She carefully placed the figure back in the box and I took that as my cue to ravage her with kisses. That was until I heard screaming coming from the hallway. I practically shot out of the chair, knocking Leila to the ground.

“Justin!” She hissed and climbed to her feet. “That wasn’t called for.”

“You hear that?” If it was possible, my ears would have stood up to attention like a dog’s.

“No, Justin. Those are just the voices in your head again, if you ignore them, they’ll go away.” Leila whined and gripped my shirt. “I want to make out.” I would have abided to her request when, an audible “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?” echoed in the hallway. My eyes widened in shock because I fucking knew who that was.

Why the hell was Demario screaming?

“Are they fighting or something?” I wondered out loud and made my to the studio door. I cracked it open and because I’m a snoopy bastard, I decided to listen. I ignored Leila when she pulled my arm; De and I were always open with everything, I had to know what was going on. That and I kind of based my own relationship around his. If his was fucking up, it was probable that mine might too.

That just couldn’t happen.

“De, accidents happen okay… I just need you’re support through this!” Adrianna’s voice filled my ears. An accident, huh? Had the fucking bitch cheated on my boy? That cunt, I’d flip the fuck out if the one girl Demario decided to trust had hurt him. That was just intolerable.

“Justin, come on, give them privacy. They’re going through a lot…”

I slowly turned around and closed the door, my attention on Leila. She knew why they were fighting, she knew something big was going down and she just didn’t tell me? I ran my hand through my short hair and stared at Leila, unsure of how I should ask the question. This was obviously bigger than all of us and I just had to know. I had to know how to keep my own relationship from crumbling.

“Tell me what you know.”

“Justin, it’s not my place.” She turned her back to me and went back to her Swarovski box. “I’m trying to figure out where in my room Tink would look the nicest, where do you think?”

Not a very good try to change the subject, Lei. Now that I was fuming with anger, I walked behind Leila and gripped onto her shoulders tightly. I flipped her around so that she was facing me and just stared at her as I gathered my crazy thoughts.

I realize that I was acting a little crazy, but you have to understand me. I was picturing myself as Demario and Leila and Adrianna. I trusted Leila but this was proof that my perfect girl maybe wasn’t so perfect. What if she really fucked up and cheated on me like Adrianna had probably done? Should I start bracing myself for the horrible truth; that Leila was probably no fucking better than any girl? I had just put her up on a higher pedestal because she was so beautiful.

“You are going to tell me what happened… right now.”

Chapter 19- Come Undone
”I can't take this I come unglued
I might breakdown in front of you
Necessary to medicate
I'm not sleeping can't stay awake
Can't see through this
Too much pressure
Drowning in this”- “Pressure” by Staind

**Leila**

I stood horrified after Justin pushed me against a wall and demanded to know everything that was going on with Adrianna and Demario. Why did any of this even matter to him? I knew that De was his best friend but he had no fucking right to get involved in any of this. Was he insane? I mean, who fucking pushes a girl against a wall because they’re dying for gossip? Someone needed some serious fucking medication.

“Justin, stop! This isn’t my business and it isn’t yours either!”

“If you fucking know that she’s cheating on my friend, you’d better open your fucking mouth.”

“Cheating? Wait, what?” I looked at my boyfriend with slight amusement. He got riled up because he was worried about his friend? I guess that was kind of sweet. It was sweeter that he released my shoulders, they were starting to hurt. “You’ve got it wrong.”

“Explain please.”

“Adrianna is um…” I huffed and glanced around the room, trying to think of a way to distract him from the situation. I guess I just wasn’t that good at lying on the spot. Justin crossed his arms over his chest and sighed, making it known that he wasn’t happy that I wasn’t responding.  “Justin let this go, please. You’re going to find out soon anyway.”

“I’d rather you just tell me,” Justin retorted a little too quickly. He was irritated and God forbid someone irritate Justin. I rolled my eyes at him.

“No.”

“Leila, seriously, if something is fucking going on, I need to fucking know!” Talk about the potty mouth. He’s lucky he makes up for it by looking pretty. If only that language could match his looks.

“Didn’t I just tell you that nothing was going on, damnit Justin, clean your ears out!” I sidestepped so I was away from him.

That’s just what I wanted, to be away from him. He was acting like this was affecting him. I mean, I realize that he’d probably have to be there for his friend if something was going down, but seriously Adrianna and Demario were adults, they could handle their own issues. He didn’t have to play the mediator. Ugh, sometimes I just wanted to bash his head into a wall. Maybe then he’d finally realize what a jerk he could be.

Of course, I didn’t have the courage to stand up to him, let alone get confrontational with him or anyone. I was little miss sit back and take everyone’s garbage. It explains why everyone walked all over me and treated me like a little kid.

Justin grabbed my bicep and turned me around to face him. He grabbed me this time, but it was just a little too hard. I swatted his hand away, struggling to break free from his grasp. ”Tell me, Leila. I’m not letting go of you until you do.”

As I stared into his eyes, I noticed that there was a clear look of panic. Why was he panicking though? I should be the one panicking. God, he was such a fucking paradox. When I start to think that I’m finally understanding him, my perception or his behavior completely changes. I think he purposely likes to keep me guessing. It all must be a thrill for him.

“Justin, she’s um… they’re…. expecting,” I gave in. I had such a resolve to stay strong and one look into his blue eyes completely smashed it to pieces. He had me so uncontrollably sprung on him. It was disgusting.

“Expecting what?”

How oblivious could one person be? I blinked at him, incredulously. “Think about it… expecting.”

I watched as the shock registered on Justin’s face. It took a few seconds for him to realize what was really happening. He finally released my arm when he understood, turning a shade of green.

“How did this happen?” Did he think the stork actually existed or something? Some men just don’t realize the consequences of their actions. It’s called manning up to your actions. Some people need a crash course on it.

“Do I need to explain to you the dynamics of the birds and the bees?” I asked, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Leila, don’t be a fucking smart ass,” Justin hissed his response. “Wasn’t she on the fucking pill?”

“I don’t know what she’s on, I’m not her.” I said, folding my arms over my chest and leaning away from him. I didn’t like this side of Justin. It was cold and angry; he was never like this with me, I mean we never fought, we bickered. This just felt like one big fight, just without the screaming. Something told me that the screaming was going to start very soon.

There was some weird tension between us and I didn’t even fully understand why. This was fucking between Adrianna and De, why were we dragging ourselves into the middle of it? I took a deep breath and ran my hand through my wavy blonde locks. I was not going to get angry about this or freak out about Justin’s attitude. This would pass; he would see that Demario and Adrianna would find a way to solve their dilemma and then Justin would take his head out of his ass.

“You better fucking tell me the truth right now, are you on the fucking pill, Leila or did you fucking lie?”

After the words came out of his mouth, I honestly can say that I had never been more horrified and offended in my life. To even ask such a question, Justin clearly didn’t know me. He probably never would either. Ha, like that would even matter to him anyway. The only person that mattered to Justin Timberlake was himself.

God, he infuriated me sometimes, but oddly enough, it made me want him more. I have mental issues. That’s a fucking fact.

“Justin, listen to me, why the fuck would I want to lie to you and get pregnant? So I can be ostracized by my family? Fuck no. So I can take your money? I have my own money! I have no fucking reason to lie to you!” I exclaimed, almost to the point of tears. I never cry, but this situation was just making me so disgusted at myself for trusting someone like this and disgusted at his behavior.

Justin just stared at me in silence; I decided I had enough of his conversation and of him. In a fit of rage, I brushed past him and picked up my purse, making sure to ignore the gift he gave me. I didn’t need his fucking charity. If he was going to play the money game, well so could I.

“What you’re just gonna fucking go?”

“Obviously,” I responded quickly and coldly. Stupid prick; let him suffer now. I wasn’t going to take part in the stupid games any longer.

Okay, so maybe I was telling myself that and maybe it worked because I was so steamed and purposely not looking at him. Looking at him would only break my resolve again. It always seemed to do that. I could be completely sure of something and one look into those ocean blue oculars and I was completely done for. They were hypnotic.

I stomped to the doorway, giving myself a mental pep talk. I could walk away right now and I would. I was strong enough, right? Fuck, okay, maybe I wasn’t, but I could pretend I was. I could force myself. As long as he didn’t stop me, I would be able to walk away from him and his complications.

“Leila, come on…” His voice had softened. I refused to let it have any affect on me or my decisions though. If he thought he could control me he had another thing coming! Yep, there was my fake resolve talking. “Let’s just finish the song…”

“Maybe tomorrow,” I snapped, my hand gripping the handle of the door. Just as I turned the knob, two strong hands made their way around my waist. “Justin, I seriously don’t feel like arguing with you, so can you please let me go? I just want to go home now.”

“No!!”

He pulled me from the door, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist. I just wanted him away from me. Clearly that wasn’t happening because ladies and gentlemen, Justin Timberlake gets his fucking way, no matter what the cost. The cost this time was my pride and sanity; that didn’t mean much to him anyway.

“Lei, I was being stupid… I know you’re not like that.”

“My friend isn’t like that either!” I spat angrily, my back pressed against his body. I don’t understand how that man gets me turned on, angry and turned on again.

The way his voice whispered in my ear so soothingly just set my panties on fire. I know that I probably shouldn’t base so much of this relationship on sex but it’s so good. We just seemed to fulfill each others needs. We were fucking in tune with each other, not even just sexually either. I don’t know how to explain it, but I think it’s clear to see that by the way we normally interact with one another.

I know it’s cheesy as fuck to say things like that, but I’m just a cheesy person and if you haven’t realized that by now, then you’re not paying enough attention!

“Forget about them and their issues,” Justin plopped down in his swivel chair and swiftly pulled me onto his lap. “It’s not important.”

It took him how long to realize that? A few strewn insults and one unnecessary fight later to be precise. This man… I just don’t understand him at all. I don’t think I ever will to be honest. He’s just strange and if I didn’t know better, I’d diagnose him with some mood disorder. I’m not sure its normal to switch moods so often. But whatever, that’s not important. My mind couldn’t even fucking concentrate on the anger anymore, Justin’s hands were on my hips, gently rubbing circles into my sides.

It was heaven.

“Didn’t I try to say that to you before?” I said in an octave over a whisper. I’m so pathetic and I know it well, it’s like he has some control over me. All I have to feel his hands on me, hear his voice or see his face and I’m completely gone.

Maybe I was kidding myself when I thought I could walk away from him… I can’t. Yes, he aggravates me sometimes, but it adds to his charm. I even like his flaws. His constant perverted-ness, his workaholic nature, the arrogance and especially his temper. It might have made me a little hot but like I said, I’m fucking nuts when it comes to him. Actually, to be nuts I’d have to be able to think rationally, instead I’m just whatever he wants me to be, his sex slave, his musical protégé, and whatever else.

“Tink, let’s just forget it.” His warm lips came into contact with my neck and I shivered. God, how did he always do this to me? How could someone just have such control over me?

I wanted to blame this all on hormones, but I knew damn well that even without sex in the picture, Justin could control me. It was pretty disturbing and I knew damn well that my Mother was probably spinning in her grave. She had taught me better than that.

I sighed as Justin’s hand slid across my skin, finally resting on my stomach. I don’t know how he managed to do it, but the slightest touch made me crave him. I guess for some couples that’s a blessing but for us, rather me, it’s almost a curse, especially at moments when I’m supposed to be angry and proving a point.

“Don’t be mad at me, baby girl…”

“I was mad, but you know I can’t stay mad… not at you.”

My attention was on his hands, actually his fingertips, gently drumming an unknown beat on my skin. My breath hitched in my throat, God, I wanted his hands to move lower, I wanted to feel his fingers inside my pussy, jabbing my g-spot. I wanted him to ready me for him, make me slick, wet and aching for his cock.

“Oh really…” I could hear him smirking. “Why is that?”

“Because… you fucking know why.”

Justin chuckled quietly from behind me, knowingly. His constant haughtiness was astounding, although it shouldn’t have been. It was Justin after all and he’s never made a secret of his arrogance. He knows his charms and the affects he has on me and women in general. He lives for the moments of proof, the times that set in stone that he is the shit. Those are the moments when he’s most wanted; when I want him the most.

His fingers peaked up under my t-shirt, skimming at my skin which was suddenly on fire. I sighed, my head falling back against his shoulder. Justin knew what I wanted and I don’t think it was much of a stretch to say that he wanted it just as bad.

“Do we have time for some quick makeup sex?” Justin asked with another laugh. “Wait, what am I saying, there is always time for sex.”

I gasped as he dipped into my skirt, his fingers immediately rubbing at my heated panties. My heart was pounding so hard, I wouldn’t be surprised if he could hear it. Fuck hearing it though, he knew that. I never let him forget it.

“I need to be in your cunt right now…“ He breathed into my ear. I could barely speak when his hand slowly disappeared into my underwear. His middle finger slowly  tickled my slit, making my pussy ache for him. “Tell me I can have your cunt right now…”

All I could get out was, “Yes.” It was ridiculous how lost for words I was.

My panties were literally ripped to shreds in a matter of seconds. I guess Justin was serious when he said “right now”. A giggle escaped from my mouth; his anxiousness just made me feel desired. I think the only time I’d have a problem was when his erratic behavior stopped, that’s when I’d know that he was done with me.

I think that was my biggest fear too. Justin not wanting me anymore would just completely destroy me. I would do whatever I had to so I could keep his interest in me. Like I said before, he completely has me sprung. I’m his bitch. At least I know it though.

Justin grabbed my hips and yanked me off his lap. I was confused about what was happening until I was quickly flipped around so I was face to face with Justin. His massive cock was out and standing to attention, ready for me. I licked my lips at the site, wanting to take him in my mouth first and taste him, but there wasn’t time for that. Fuck foreplay, I just wanted to fuck.

My jean skirt was gathered at my waist and I was yanked back on his lap so I was now straddling him. I felt the head of his cock, pushing at my pussy lips. I squirmed at the feeling; God, I wanted him completely buried inside me. I wanted to feel his thick length, pulsating inside me. I was dripping, no leaking at this point. He didn’t have to do much and I was ready for him to take me.

He attacked my mouth with kisses, his tongue parting my lips to gain access to my tongue. I can’t even begin to describe his kisses or the way I feel when he does. It’s pretty cheesy but I think the closest comparison is an explosion. My chest feels like it is going to burst when he kisses me. It scared me that anyone could have such an affect on me. That type of affect is dangerous, it can completely blind you. I think it’s safe to say that I’m there already.

I was burning for him, my body was on fire. Justin must have felt the same because he jerked my hips down, burying himself deep inside me. The initial feeling of him pushing inside me is my favorite. It’s just like I’m completely filled up, almost shocked at the new and welcomed invasion.

I rolled my hips, smirking as his mouth dropped and he let out a silent moan. Needless to say, I wasn’t great at riding but I quickly learned that certain things made Justin go crazy. Like rolling my hips and taking the initiative made him crazy. He usually liked to be in control but sometimes, me being the one doing all the work just made him horny as hell.

Justin pulled my t-shirt up and to his enjoyment, I had decided to not wear a bra that day. Anxiously he plucked at my nipples, delighting in making them hard, as well as the sound of my squeaks. He joyfully put his hands on my back and pushed my breasts towards his face. My left breast was his in mouth and he torturously sucked my nipple, nursing it between his teeth.

I grew wetter, if that was even possible. I lifted my hips as far as I could and crashed back down on Justin’s awaiting cock. I squeaked again, if the pleasure wasn’t so immense I probably would have laughed at the loud sound our bodies made when colliding. I didn’t even want to know if any noise was echoing down the hallways. How humiliating if someone were to hear that!

I ranked my hands up and down his hard, smooth chest. Both our breaths were raging at this point. Fuck, our sex was always like this, completely exhausting but fulfilling. I stared at him, his head leaning back, his mouth parted and his suddenly dark blue eyes closed; he was beautiful. The epitome of sex, of an absolute Adonis. I think I’d be surprised if a woman didn’t want to give herself to him, she’d have to have some definite will power. I lacked that when it came to Justin Randall Timberlake.

It was obvious that Justin wanted the control back, but I wasn’t about to give it to him so easily. He would have to fight me for it. I moved at my own pace while Justin, who was still nibbling at my nipples, tried to grip my hip and pull me down harder. Unfortunately, he was trying to multitask and it just wasn’t working.

“Fuck…” I bit my bottom lip as I bounced. I shifted my body at the right time, making his cock bang against my g-spot. I squeezed my eyes shut and panted his name. “Justin!!”

My swollen tit popped out of his mouth with an audible sound. This was it, Justin was ready to take control and I was ready to take every inch of his perfectly thick and long cock. I wanted him to touch me in places that only he could reach, to stretch me out and make me cum as hard as I could. I wanted to writhe and scream his name as I reached my point of climax.

His two massive hands rested on each of my ass cheeks, gripping the skin tightly. I bit my lip, knowing that I was going to be pounded mercilessly, just the way I liked it. Justin knew that very well too. He began pushing my ass up and down to a pace which satisfied us both. My ass was jiggling as I took in every inch of him. I don’t always want it rough like this, honestly. Sometimes I just want it to be slow and sensual, you know, like those slow r&b songs about sex. Justin doesn’t want it this way, so I give in. I could never stop myself from giving in to him.

“You like this cock, Leila? You like this cock pumping your tight little snatch?”

It dawned on me, as I blushed profusely and nodded my head at Justin’s words. I did what he wanted because I wanted to keep him happy… because I had somehow fallen completely in love with him. I almost laughed out loud at the irony. I had joined the ranks of the silly girls who somehow fell in love with the wrong men, the selfish men, and quite possibly the ones who could never love them back. Was that my fate?

Justin thrust his hips upward to meet my hips as they crashed down against his. I sighed with pleasure, my orgasm was approaching but I wanted to delay it. Not only because I didn’t want the pleasure to end, but because I was terrified that after this, my brain would finally be on. Maybe then, I’d think clearly and finally get the courage to walk away.

It would be a very bittersweet moment for me…if I could get that strength. I knew myself well though, I‘d never be able to, not when love was in the mix.

I threw my head back, silently screaming as my clit rubbed against Justin’s skin. There was no holding back now; I was going to cum hard. My pussy was already squeezing around Justin’s cock involuntarily; it wouldn’t be long till he came either. I didn’t even have to tell Justin that my orgasm was here, he just knew. Our bodies were just in sync (excuse the pun) with each other. We had sex a lot so it wasn’t a surprise that he knew what it took to make me cum. He practically owned my body.

My entire body quaked and a tingle beginning from my cunt, spread throughout my entire body. I panted, screamed and thrashed about, not even caring about who could hear any longer. Let them fucking listen, they’d get a good show.

It took Justin a few more hard thrusts before his hot cum shot deep inside of me. I was lying against his shoulder now, spent from the quickie session that really wasn’t a quickie but more like a half hour. I should have had a blank mind, but of course, my earlier suspicions were right. I couldn’t get my mind off my newly discovered feelings. I was in love, but I truly don’t think there was anything worse then clear unrequited love.

The questions flooded my mind instantly, “Should I tell him?”. “Would he care?”, “Could the truth scare him off for good?” I was completely and utterly confused. I don’t think that was going to go away anytime soon. I just didn’t know what I was doing anymore. A clear head was what I desperately needed and until I got that, I would OCD about the situation.

**Justin**

Today was already filled with my two favorite things, sex and music. I just had the most amazing quickie with Leila, that girl is like every man’s dream. She’s sexy and ready and willing to fuck whenever and wherever. I have no complaints about her, she doesn’t expect things and she puts up with me, even when I act like a colossal asshole.

Naturally, I act like an asshole like 80% of the time too. Like I just fucking freaked out on Leila because of my insecurity and she’s just cool with it. She puts me in my fucking place; she’s the only other woman to be able to do that to me other than my Mom. I’m so tired of being scared. I seriously just want to turn that emotion off; I want to be the person Leila needs me to be.

Unfortunately, it’s not possible to do that. I just can’t turn my fucking feelings off. I probably need some sort of immense therapy to make me normal and able to calm the fuck down. God, I’m such a pussy. I need to grow the hell up or something.

Leila was finishing the vocals on the latest song we had been working on, “Rehab” when Demario trudged in the room, looking completely upset. He collapsed down in a swivel chair in the corner and furiously began typing on his I-phone. Adrianna was nowhere in sight though. They must have been fighting, shit, I couldn’t get the negative thoughts to leave my mind.

The one suspicion I had was that, if Demario and Adrianna broke up, did it mean that Leila and I were headed there as well? Or even worse, what if De and Adrianna decided to, I don’t know, commit to a higher level, like let’s say marriage. Would Leila want that type of commitment from me shortly after? I mean, shit, a relationship was hard enough for me to keep up with.

“You alright man?” I asked my friend sympathetically. He nodded his head profusely. As much as he was denying it, it was fucking obvious that there was something going down. Leila picked it up as well because she stepped out of the recording booth and eyed Demario curiously.

“What happened? Where is Adrianna?”

“Adrianna fucking walked off… she doesn’t want my fucking input on anything so what the fuck ever, I don’t give a shit anymore.”

Leila and I immediately exchanged stunned glances. This wasn’t like the almost unnaturally happy couple to become so dour. What happened to the perpetual happiness and chemistry? Had it fizzled away at the notion of a baby? I mean, something like that could be taken care of. This wasn’t a time period where abortions were difficult to come by. Adrianna could get rid of this baby and things could just go back to normal. RIGHT?!

“So you’re just going to sit here and sulk?! Why don’t you go and be a fucking man!” Leila marched up to Demario and yelled, waving her index finger in his face. He hadn’t even bothered to look up at her. “You got her into this mess!”

My mouth fucking dropped as I watched my best friend and my girlfriend fight. Wasn’t Leila the little hypocrite? First she tells me some shit that I need to mind my business. What the fuck? She isn’t doing that shit. She needs to let the two of them handle this shit.

“J, you better keep your fucking woman in check.”

Leila’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head, “HE DOESN’T NEED TO DO ANYTHING! YOU ARE THE ONE THAT NEEDS TO GET OFF YOUR ASS AND TAKE CARE OF ADRIANNA AND YOUR BABY!”

Demario finally looked up at me darkly. It was easy to see that he was holding onto his composure by a thread. I took a deep breath and grabbed Leila’s forearm and dragged her towards the doorway as she continued to shoot her opinions and orders at Demario. Demario was a respectful guy when it came to girls, he didn’t like raising his voice or cursing them the fuck out, like I would do with ease. Leila was pushing his buttons though and if this continued, he’d definitely tell her where the fuck to go.

I opened the studio door and tugged Leila out with me, “Lei, did you not just tell me that this shit isn’t our fucking business?” She looked at me guiltily. There was my answer. “You can’t go in there and get involved in their personal problems, it’s not our place. The only thing we can do is listen and try to help them, not go and attack.”

“She’s my best friend… I was worried…”

“I know that, but Adrianna probably needs you to be there for her, not fighting her fucking battles.” I said, shocking myself. When did I become fucking mature? Maybe it was the heat of the moment.

“Okay,” She bit her puffy bottom lip and nodded at me. “Tell him I’m sorry.”

“Alright,” I kissed her quickly and ushered her out of the doorway. “I’ll call you later.”

There was still some reluctance in her face but she forced herself to leave. I could say that I was pretty annoyed with her. Why the fuck was she screaming at Demario and accusing him of shit that she wasn’t even sure of? GOD! Women are just fucking crazy. They all like to fight for no goddamn reason.

  Things were going amazing this morning; when the fuck did everything turn to shit? I thought back to the fun, double date-esque moments, I didn’t want that shit to end over something like this.

I closed the studio door and looked over at Demario who was furiously typing away on his cell phone. “You alright?”

“Not fucking really,” He shot back with a heavy sigh right after. “She doesn’t want to get an abortion. Man, a baby could ruin my fucking career…and I’m not ready for that type of responsibility. I just wanted fun.”

Demario rocked back and forth in the chair with his hands over his face. I felt for my friend, I knew what it felt like to be completely terrified of that responsibility, that commitment. It was oddly comforting to know that someone else understood what I was going through. I realize that I’m a gigantic asshole for taking some sort of pleasure in my friend’s pain, but I was starting to think that I was going completely overboard.

“I understand that… the two of us just fucked around for so long that settling down seems im-fucking-possible.” I responded and sat down on an adjacent chair. Demario looked up at me and I swear, I thought he might cry. I understood that feeling, if I were in his place I’d be crying like a bitch to my Mom.

“I don’t know how to convince her that this can’t happen.”

“Does she want money or some shit? You think she wants a kid cause she’s after something else?” I asked bluntly. The thought had crossed my mind earlier, and as much as I pretended that it was out of my head, it still hadn’t left.

Adrianna was not as well off as Leila was, so did she think that Demario was her fucking meal ticket? Fuck, if that was true the bitch would go to court and ask for child support and shit. It would be all over the fucking news. De didn’t need that type of publicity. This dilemma needed to disappear and fast.

“Bro, I don’t fucking know! I mean I even asked her how much it would take to make this problem go away… she fucking screamed at me and ran off.”

“Shit, seriously?”

“Yeah! I don’t know what to do… I’m like blowin’ up my manager’s phone right now. I need to know what to do… like man, my fucking album just came out and I’m getting my solo career up, something like this could destroy all my hard work. She just thinks I’m being selfish.” Demario furiously began typing away on his phone again as I stood stunned. He was absolutely right; this could change the public’s opinion of him. He would no longer have the image of being young and fun loving; a baby would make him seem old and washed up. He needed to wait till he was more established to do stuff like that.

Guys like us were in the limelight and our personal lives were scrutinized constantly. If I got a new fucking car, it was like headlined news. I mean, shit, a baby would cause such a media frenzy. De wasn’t ready for that….

I think I was partly putting myself in his place too. I was just thinking that this shit was happening to me and I was freaking out more than I should be. I guess it was because Demario and I have lived similar lives; we both started in this business at young ages, did things we weren’t proud of to stay in the spotlight and broke out of the stereotypical boy band image. Was it possible that this shit could happen to me too?

By no means was I ready, I couldn’t reiterate that enough.

“You gotta convince her man… either she gets rid of the baby or she just has to hide it from the media.” I replied, standing up from my chair. I have to walk around and shit when I get nervous, its an impatient habit of mine.  “Does she think you’re gonna marry her or some shit?”

“Man, I don’t know what the fuck she thinks. All I know is that I’m probably going to be fucked right now.” Demario said angrily. “You know, I used a fucking condom, I don’t understand! Like what if this kid isn’t even mine? How do I know that Adrianna isn’t fucking giving her pussy to another dude? I barely know this girl man.”

That statement sent my mind into a frenzy. What if Leila was doing the same shit? I had dealt with my fair share of cheating girlfriends. Could this be happening again? Do I just always fall into the same fucking trap? One way or another, I’m always suckered; Danielle, Veronica, Britney, Cameron, Jessica… they were all beautiful but deadly. I never allowed myself to care about any of them, besides Danielle… my first love, my first everything.

But that was along time ago and besides the point.

Would Leila be just like the chain of disappointments?

“You need to fix this man… fix this fast before people start to find out.”

Demario and I sat in silence, aside from his furious text messaging. I made a promise to myself as I tortured myself with negative thoughts. I would never allow myself to be as broken as I was when I lost Danielle. I wouldn’t give Leila or any woman the benefit of the doubt. Never again would I come undone.

Chapter 20- I Thought I Knew You

“Sappy pathetic little me
That was the girl I used to be
You had me on my knees
I'd trade you places any day
I'd never thought you could be that way
But you looked like me on Sunday
You came in with the breeze
On Sunday Morning
You sure have changed since yesterday
Without any warning
I thought I knew you
I thought I knew you
I thought I knew you well... so well” – “Sunday Morning” by No Doubt

**Leila**

Mia and I waited in the car for Adrianna as she went to yet another doctor’s appointment. She hadn’t decided if she was going to keep this baby but Adrianna vowed that she would make her decision without Demario’s help. From what I understood, he was a complete douche bag to her and demanding ridiculous things like a paternity test.

GAH! That just aggravated me. What the hell is wrong with guys today? Were they given an injection of asshole at birth or was this just some course on how to destroy women? Like Justin for example, it’s been ten fucking days since I last saw him at the studio. I realize that he has a job and has to go travel the world to promote his art, but I don’t think a little phone call is difficult.

He always does this to me and I’m getting so fucking tired of it. He plays these games with me. He pulls me in and pushes me away and I honestly believe that he gets off on it. That’s the only explanation I can come up with; he must get off on torturing me.

I tapped my nails against the glass, trying not to get lost in my thoughts once again. Justin often did that to me, he made me obsess about him to the point where I feel like I can’t think of anyone else. He has the power to destroy me completely and it scares the fuck out of me. I hate this, I hate how I feel about him.

Taking a deep breath in, I fought to find some sort of calm. That of course was pointless. Everything was pointless when it involved going against Justin Timberlake. Anything that involved him was impossible to win. I might as well kiss my heart goodbye because it was gone. I hadn’t realized it until recently but he had taken that a long time ago.

“Earth to Leila…” Mia waved a hand in front of my face. I had been staring at her charcoal gray leather upholstery way too long. It must have given away that I was upset about something, not like that wasn’t completely obvious given my quite embarrassing current situation.

“Oh sorry… I drifted,” I said with a false smile. “I was debating whether I should go get us coffee.” Lame excuse on my part, but it would save me from a conversation about how stupid I am to have let Justin get under my skin. Sometimes I wonder if him coming into my life is a blessing or a curse.

“Oh… well if you go… get me one too and make it light and sweet.”

I nod in response, feeling the need to run out of that car. Not only am I obsessed with waiting for Justin’s call… I’m obsessed with calling him. He doesn’t even have the fucking decency to answer any of my calls either. All I get is the ring back tone he has of Jay-Z’s “Big Pimpin’”, which by the way drives me nuts every time I hear it. Justin, you are not a fucking pimp. Get over yourself.

I stepped out of the SUV and walked to the nearest deli, which in NYC is not hard to find. We have one on every damn corner. I just needed a moment to gather my thoughts. I needed many of those moments or I might just go insane. Thanks Justin.

I entered the small deli, walking up to the man behind the counter and putting in my order. Luckily the man didn’t really speak English and most likely had no idea who Noah Jacobs was. Anonymity was rare, so I cherished every precious moment of it. No attention, absolute perfection.

While I waited for the coffees to be ready, I found myself nervously tapping my foot on the ground. A few seconds later it registered in my head that I was tapping my foot to the beat of “Big Pimpin’”. I nearly grabbed my leg to cease the movements. Fortunately I didn’t do that or the cashier would think I was possessed or some shit.

But seriously, Justin needed to get the fuck out of my brain. Even when I didn’t want to think about him, I just found a way back to the subject of him. Everything reminded me of him. I could stare at a street sign and miraculously find a way back to his smile or something cheesy that he’d say. DAMNIT! He needed to be like castrated or something for putting me through this shit! Wait… I enjoy his cock way too much for castration… but you guys know what I mean!

I didn’t understand why he liked to play these games with me. Did he not realize how much he destroys me? God! I tried so hard to sympathize with his commitment fears but it had gotten pretty ridiculous. I had gotten to the point where I wanted to shake him violently and tell him to get the fuck over it. For someone who tries to act like a tough guy, he’s a pussy when it comes to certain things.

I ran a hand through my hair, wondering what I could do to make the awkward time in the car pass by faster. I swear, I should have bought my copy of Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer so I could become entranced with Edward Cullen aka the perfect man. So much better than that asshole, idiotic, gorgeous Justin Timberlake.

I noticed a copy of Cosmo on the magazine rack to my left. Natalie Portman was on the cover and I absolutely adored her. Anyone that hooked up with Hayden Christensen needed to become my best friend. That man is too hot for his own good. I picked up a copy of the magazine, my eyes scanning the rack for another piece of reading material to possibly occupy the time.

Has anyone ever felt their heart break into a million pieces? You feel like you could just suffocate right then and there; the entire world just collapses all around you. That was how I felt when I looked at the magazine cover of Justin and the girl he supposedly hated, Lindsay Lohan. His arms were around her as she leaned against his chest in a similar fashion that I had done, time and time again. I thought I might start screaming right in the middle of store.

He had fucked with my head the entire time. All the sweet words and kissing meant nothing at all. He was just using me like everyone said he was. I was such an idiot. Such a complete moron. Closing my eyes tightly, I grabbed the magazine and ran towards the counter, throwing money down. I just couldn’t see straight. I was a wreck and on the verge of tears. How could he do this to me? Why?

Gripping the coffee and magazines, I hurried out of the store and back to the car. I didn’t care if I was going to hear “I told you so” from Mia. I just needed to vent and cry. Someone needed to fucking listen to me.

How stupid could I have been? After what I saw Demario do to Adrianna, I should have just expected that Justin was going to turn out to be a complete asshole. Fuck, I was the naïve little girl that my brothers and Dad accused me of being. It figured that they were going to be right. Everyone was always right but I insisted on trying to see the best in Justin. I just fooled myself the entire time. He would forever be an asshole.

I pulled open the door to Mia’s car, not even bothering to hold back the tears in my eyes. Mia hadn’t looked up at me yet, she was busy on the phone, laughing away with JC; the best friend of that fucking prick. I had to warn her; anyone related to Justin was a fucking disgusting pig.

“Yeah…you should definitely get the Ranger tickets. We have to go and support our team Josh,” Mia giggled. I don’t think I had ever seen my Amelia so happy. She was like permanently glowing when JC was around. Too bad I had to assume that JC was a royal prick like his friends. Judging is bad but when the proof is right in front of you, it’s hard to not do so. “Lei, you got the coffee?”

I took a deep breath as a moment of slow motion occurred. It felt surreal, like something out of a movie. All we needed to do was cue the sappy music. There I sat, the tears streaming down my face, clutching cups of coffee and holding magazines under my arms. I looked like the picture of sanity. Yeah right.

“Leila… what the hell happened to you?”

Shoving a cup of coffee in her hand, I grabbed the People magazine and pointed to the front page. I couldn’t even bear to look at the page myself or I’d throw up. I just couldn’t get over the shock. How could he do this to me? That was the question that wouldn’t stop repeating in my head. I had no answer for it but the words just wouldn’t disappear.

“Oh my God… Josh, I gotta go…” Mia hung up the phone and grabbed the magazine from my hands. I put my coffee into the cup holder and proceeded to break down crying into my hands. Why? Just why would he do this to me? I didn’t ask for any of this shit.

Why couldn’t he of just left me the fuck alone? Why did he pursue me if he was inevitably going to put me through so much pain? This dick must have gotten off on breaking girl’s hearts.

“Leila… I’m so sorry,” Mia’s arms were around me, hugging me tightly. I sobbed and felt like an absolute idiot. Every tear was a waste. They shouldn’t have been shed for him but I just couldn’t hold them back. I was never good with controlling my emotions. “He’s a jerk.”

“I’m so stupid, Mia. Everyone was right about him and I just fucking went on with it. He played me for an idiot and I walked into his fucking trap,” I said threw my wails. “I thought I was different to him, I thought I was changing him…” I wrapped my arms around myself. I felt destroyed. I mean, God, he pulled this shit right after I discovered that I loved him? Way to make me feel even more pathetic.

“You are not stupid. He is the stupid one for even thinking of hurting you, this is his loss.” Mia stated firmly. “Leila, listen to me… this IS his loss. He IS loosing out on a great girl who would never hurt him. He’ll never find another girl who will ever come close to your greatness.”

“It doesn’t feel that way… it feels the opposite… that I’ll never find someone half as good as him,” I said pathetically. Ugh, I always laughed at girls who fawned over men this way. Now I was sympathizing with them. Justin changed me, he made me into this love sick, sham of a girl I used to be. I was independent, I never needed a man to tell me he cared and suddenly I was dying for some sort of requited affection from Justin.

“Oh don’t make me smack you!” Mia said sternly. She grabbed my shoulders to steady me in my seat. “You do not need him. He is just a pop star with a drug problem. Say it with me, Lei.”

“No.”

“LEILA!”

“I do not need him. He is just the sexiest pop star in the world with a drug problem,” I said through tears. Mia shook her head incredulously at me.

“I think I’m going to need to have a talk with Mr. Chasez.”

“Oh my God! Mia no! That’s so embarrassing; he’ll tell Justin that I’m upset! I don’t want him to know!”

“If you don’t calm yourself down, I’ll personally call Justin and bitch his brain dead self out,” Mia stated firmly. I knew she wasn’t lying either. No fucking with Mia when it came to shit like this. “Let’s look at this both ways, even though I still believe Justin is a skeeze ball, this could be one giant misunderstanding or Justin could have betrayed you the way he betrayed JC and some of the other guys that were supposed to be his friends.”

“Huh?” I looked at her stupidly.

“Yeah, the whole *NSync thing. JC told me the entire story and Justin’s pretty much a dick. He basically strung along his best friends for two years… telling them that the band was gonna get back together and whatever, yeah obviously that didn’t happen. It sounds like he’s doing the same thing to you.” Mia explained solemnly. I bit at my bottom lip as she spoke. That did sound a lot like Justin and I, he made a lot of claims, which kept me coming back to him.

So it had all been a game to mess with my head? To keep himself in my pants and keep me naïve and trusting in him? I don’t think I had ever felt so used and disgusting in my life. How could he do that to anyone? How could he be so cruel?  So many question were running through my mind that I would never get an answer too. One thing was certain though; I had been used and manipulated by that dirt bag.

Everyone had warned me but I chose to ignore. I chose to fawn over him anyway and now I was completely devastated. It served me fucking right for ever even believing him after the whole panty party incident. He showed his true colors the morning after. I should have never let him draw me back in with his lies.

“Lei…are you alright? You look green.”

“I feel so stupid…just so stupid.” I said and put my head in my hands. “And now I just need lots of chocolate.”

“Hey… relax,” Mia put her hand on my shoulder. “We could do this… as soon as Adrianna gets out of the doctors; we’ll all go to the Chocolate Room and get brownie sundaes… how’s that?”

“It sounds like just what I need.” I admitted with a weak smile.

“Perfect… now try to relax… I’ll even put on Otep for you.”

I could always count on my best friend to cheer me up. God bless her for being strong and putting up with my shit as well as smacking the common sense into me. The rest of the time went by fast. I sat trying to focus on the article which stated how Justin and Lindsay met up during the MTV Movie Awards and “sparks flew”.

It figured. Justin and Lindsay had a past so this was them reconnecting. I was just a stepping stone in which he finally got to the girl that he initially wanted. How idiotic of me. Justin would want Lindsay, she was just like him in the attention whore, sex and drug addict type of way. I was too clean for him, even though I tried to dirty up my image by doing things I would never even think about doing. I’d smoked marijuana with him many fucking times. I didn’t even like it all that much!

When Adrianna finally came back into the car from the doctor’s there was an unnerving silence. Um, there was never silence when the three of us were together. What the fuck was going on? Had these assholes in our lives ruined our once strong friendship?

It wasn’t a long drive to the Chocolate Room and luckily we found parking out front. This little café was a favorite of ours. It was just a relaxing atmosphere with a rustic feel to it. Honestly it looked like one of those old school ice cream parlors with a modern day twist to it. Oh and the chocolate was to die for. It’s nothing like a day of pigging out on candy to make all the men problems just dissolve.

The three of us sat at a table, fumbling with menus. Eye contact was at a complete minimum. I finally decided to break the silence, “Dri, I don’t want to pry, but do you want to talk about what happened?”

“I basically need to hurry up and decide if I’m going to keep the baby…the doctor went over the alternatives… like adoption and abortion…“ She took a deep breath as she paused in mid-sentence. Clearly it was taking a lot for her to keep her composure. I didn’t blame her. With options like that, who would be thrilled? “It’s just so hard.”

I couldn’t even begin to imagine the inner turmoil that Adrianna was facing. Knowing Adrianna as well as I did, I realized that even the thought of abortion was heartbreaking for her. I wanted to help her make this difficult decision, but I didn’t even know where to begin. Adrianna was in her senior year of college and in no position to take care of herself or a baby. It was clear that Demario wouldn’t help her and her parents would flip if they knew she was pregnant. Adrianna was at a complete loss.

Unless I found a way to help her…

“If you had the opportunity to keep this baby, would you?” Mia asked, looking up from the menu.

“Without a doubt.”

I bit my lip and watched my dejected best friend stare down at her still perfectly flat belly. I couldn’t let her go through with this abortion that she was miserable about. If it wasn’t what she wanted, I could find a way to help her out. If I had to beg my Dad for help and happily promise never to see Justin again, I would do that for Adrianna.

“Dri… do you want to keep this baby?” I asked suddenly. She was taken by surprise at my question. After a few moments of silence, she nodded. “Then you are going to keep it. I’m going to help you out.”

“What? You think the two of you are going to raise a baby just like that?! Leila, Adrianna be serious right now,” Mia ranted. Looking back at it, she was absolutely right and only trying to look after our wellbeing. I think my own devastation was fueling me. It was so idiotic of me.

“Adrianna doesn’t need a man to raise this baby! None of us need men, isn’t that what you’ve always preached, Mia? Now we’re holding true to it. Fuck the men!”

Now, if things we’re only as easy as we try to make them out to be.

**Justin**

Let me start off by saying that I am not a colossal dick. I actually have a heart and feelings. This is exactly why I hung out with Lindsay and made sure that I was photographed with her. Okay, laugh all you want and call me a bullshit artist, but I’m being 100% serious right now. I hung out with Lindsay “skank” Lohan because I wanted to try and get Leila the hell away from me. She deserves better then the shit I put her through.

I don’t know when or why this moment of clarity first came about for me. I’ll go out on a limb and say that it had something to do with the Demario and Adrianna situation. That was like some sort of ongoing war. I don’t know how something so good and positive turned to absolute shit. I didn’t want to do anything like that to Leila… so I guess I wanted to end it before it got to that bad point? I wanted to make her hate me this way before I actually did something to destroy her.

I’m not going to say that what I’m doing is right, because it’s not. I’m an asshole for fucking with this girl. I should have never led her on or began something with her. As hard as I tried to prove that I could handle a relationship, I think I knew deep down that I couldn’t. I wanted to more than anything, but I think I pushed myself too hard. I made myself have all these expectations which started to scare me off.

Now that I was back in New York, I was going to try to find a way out of this contract I had with Leila. Cutting off any contact with her was the key to ending this quick and painfully. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it was extremely difficult for me to ignore the phone calls from Leila. I wanted to talk to her. I fucking missed her. My common sense told me to stay away. This was for her own good; her hating me should come early instead of too late.

JC was recording down at Stable Studios and I of course had to pay him a visit. He didn’t ask me to show up but I seriously felt like I hadn’t spoken with him in weeks. After this whole Leila issue he kind of got cold with me. JC never approved of my relationship with Leila, so this was probably going to thrill him. It would probably thrill Noah Jacobs and his insane sons too. That wouldn’t change his feelings towards me at all though.

I adjusted my black baseball cap and walked into the studio with my head down. I doubted anyone would notice me, but I was still paranoid. It’s what happens when screaming girls are always tailing you.

JC didn’t know I was coming down. I kind of just spoke to his brother, found out where he was and went. I kind of wanted some reassurance about this Leila thing, oh and anything involving music just beckons me forward. But like I said, I wanted reassurance. The selfish part of me wanted to say to fucking hell with everything. The selfish part usually won the battle but this time I wanted to make sure that I did what was best for her and that meant letting go.

Anyway, JC was going to be thrilled that I was finally letting go of Leila. He never approved of my relationship with her. He called me out and said that I would hurt her. I guess JC was right, I had hurt her but I was a nice enough guy to do it for her own good.

“Excuse me, Sir? You need clearance to enter…” The woman at the front desk called out to me. I groaned and spun on my heel to face her. Quickly, I pulled my baseball cap off and stared right at the shocked receptionist. When having a very recognizable face like mine, it was easy to get what you want. “O-oh… I’m sorry Mr. Timberlake.”

“No worries,” I smiled warmly at the woman. “Do you know what room JC Chasez is in?”

“I believe he’s in um room 4 B.” The receptionist stuttered; so much for professionalism. I shot another wide smile her way and then turned to walk down the hall. Watching fans fawn over me never failed to give my ego a rise.

I headed towards the room with my hands stuffed into my jean pockets. I wondered what JC was cooking up in the studio and curious to why he hadn’t ask me for help. I mean fuck, he should know that I jump at anything that involved music. Whatever, this dick wasn’t going to get away with not including me in his plans. I opened up the door to the room and stood surprised as I watched JC fumbling with the sound board and none other then Leila fucking Jacobs in the booth.

My eyes widened in shock as I stood in the doorway, half past horrified. My plan for avoiding her was completely ruined. Fuck. There was no way I could run out of the room without being noticed. There was no way I could run out of the room without staring at her either; she looked absolutely adorable in her sweatpants and tank top. God damnit. She could make a potato sack look sexy.

“What the fuck? JC! What the hell is HE doing HERE?” Leila’s friend and JC’s girlfriend, Mia screeched out. I scrunched my eyebrows and shook my head in annoyance at her. I focused my attention on JC, who had turned around to look at me startled.

“Whoa… Justin… um, dude what are you doing here? How did you even know I was here?”

“I uh, heard you were recording so I wanted to help out…I guess it’s a bad time,” I responded with the obvious.

“Who’s that?” A male voice asked. I hadn’t noticed a blonde man sitting next to Mia. I don’t even know if he could really be considered a man, he looked like he was still a teenager. Even funnier was that his hair was like a fucking porcupine, either he was going for that or he had stuck his finger in an electrical outlet. What a fucking loser.

“That is the idiot that was harassing Leila. Soon she’ll realize that you are meant for her and not this peanut for brains,” Mia hissed in my direction. Seriously. Someone needed to slip that girl a fucking Midol. How does JC put up with this shit? “You need to leave before Leila sees your sorry ass.”

That was true; Leila hadn’t noticed me just yet. She was too busy singing some song that I really couldn’t hear. Had I mentioned that I was getting jealous? It wasn’t only because Leila had Spike chasing her around; JC was stepping into a boundary that was supposed to be only mine. Music was supposed to be a connection between me and her. Was there nothing left for us anymore?

Leila walked out of the booth after a minute or so of me standing stunned, “I need a break, sorry slave driver!” She giggled and plopped down on the porcupine’s lap. Fuck, she didn’t even notice me. Leila just didn’t care about me at all.

I had succeeded in pushing her away but now it was just eating me up inside. I had made a huge fucking mistake. I was delusional if I thought I could let go of Leila. She had a stronger grip on me then I ever even realized. God, I was so screwed. I was terrified but still unable to let go of the only woman that had control over me. Damnit, I was sick in the fucking head. I was a lot of fucking things; I think that was the problem.

“I…uh…” JC was at a loss. It was choosing between his best friend and his girlfriend. I wanted to scream out hoes before bros, but I kept my mouth shut. It was probably in my best interest that I did that. JC is very protective of his girlfriends. I’d probably get a punch across the face if he knew I was even thinking about something like that.

“Huh?” Leila turned around to look at JC. It didn’t take her long to follow JC’s eye line towards me. The inevitable hurt was visible on Leila’s face before she quickly turned away and enamored herself back with her douche bag of a date. I wanted to kick the shit out of that little punk. He wasn’t worthy of Leila. She was fucking mine. “Trav, you’d better not tell Kyle that you were at the studio with me. He’s going to get super jealous. I never invite him.”

“C, I need to talk to you,” I demanded roughly and crossed my arms over my chest. I refused to even look at Leila and this Trav clown. If I pretended it wasn’t happening, it was going to make shit a lot easier for me. I mean, I just had to let her go, right? It was what was best for her, right?

FUCK! But I didn’t WANT to let go of her! I wanted to have her forever. I didn’t even want a fucking man to look at her, let alone a jerk off like this Trav idiot who was stupidly grabbing her hips. Clearly he didn’t even know how to touch a woman. Ugh, Leila needed someone like me who could make her feel ecstasy with every touch and kiss. Fuck it all to hell, she just needed me. And I needed her…more than she could ever realize.

“Can’t you see that JC is busy! Go home!” Mia shot at me. I sent her a sideways glare and tried to ignore her again. She was a like a broken record. I don’t know how JC put up with that bitch. I’d probably end up strangling her or myself.

“Mia, calm down,” JC responded. It was just like the peacemaker in him to try and calm the situation down. “I’ve only got a few minutes.” I nodded at JC and he stood up, walking into the hallway with me. He closed the door to the studio and looked at me, urging me to speak with his eyes.

“I fucked up badly.”

“Okay…” He scratched the top of his head with confusion. “You got a DUI or something?”

“No you dick. I meant with Leila.”

JC groaned and shook his head in what looked like disgust at me. I did agree with his reaction to my words. I was being a dick all along. I didn’t deserve a girl like her and fuck I doubted I could really get her back this time. I made it look like I cheated on her with Lindsay, when in fact, that was the last fucking thing I would ever do. Lindsay is a dirty skank and I was not about to risk another trip to the clinic for that loose pussy.

No one really knew that I had staged the entire Lindsay fiasco. I wanted it to be easy for Leila to hate me so she could move on. I sacrificed an evening with Lindsay, grabbing on my dick and giggling about how glad she was that we were back together (I didn’t even realize that we were ever together) and that we were soul mates. I wanted to vomit all over the floor when she said that garbage to me. Either she was delusional or high. I’m going with high; stupid coke whore.

“You need to let that go J. That ship has sailed,” My older friend replied. I almost put my fist through a wall at his words. The ship had not sailed. I refused to give up on me and Leila. I’d have to be kidding if I thought that I could ever just walk away from her. It wasn’t easy to just turn off my emotions and I’m sure it was the same way with her.

But could she really forgive me? Would she even listen to me?

“No, JC, seriously… I fucked up because I got scared… but seriously, I got my shit together. I’m ready to be the guy she needs.”

“Justin, you need to stop fucking with this girl. You are destroying her… can’t you see that? You keep pulling her in and pushing her out, that’s fucking damaging to do to someone. Let it go Justin, let her go so she can find some happiness.”

I almost let out a scream, “I can’t let her go! I refuse to! This girl is different; she makes me want to be different. You have to help me fix this.”

“What?! No!”

How could I fix this alone? How could I convince Leila and everyone around her that I had finally gotten it together? Fuck, I don’t think I was even fully convinced that I had gotten my shit together. I could just pray that this time I would be man enough to face my issues head on instead of running away from them like a little bitch.

“Please, Jace? Just give me a chance to talk to her or something? I think I deserve the right to explain myself.”

“Yeah you do, but you and I both know that you’re just going to fuck this up again. You have this sick game going on with this girl. It needs to end,” JC scolded me as if I was a child. Where the fuck did he get off telling me that I needed to end this? JC was one of my best friends and all, but he had no right telling me what I needed to do. “Justin, fucking listen to me! You are hurting this girl! Leave her alone!”

I stared at JC, fuming with anger. He had no right to get involved with my life. I didn’t mess around with his relationship with Mia the bitch, so why should he even think about making stupid assumptions about mine? I loved JC like a brother but he was being a huge dick right now. Why couldn’t he just fucking help me out?

“Josh… I’m not fucking leaving her alone. Now, I’m going to try and win her back either with or without your help, I’d prefer that it was with your help. I want to grow up C and I want to fucking face my fears,” I licked my chapped lips and sighed, leaning against the wall. “I’m not going to beg you, man.”

JC sighed and his shoulders slumped down. He was giving in. It’s very easy to get JC to give into anything, especially when the person asking is truly serious. He’s a softly when it comes to helping people out.

“Whatever Justin, I’ll help you… but if you fuck up, don’t count on me to bail your sorry ass out of a beating from Noah Jacobs.”

I beamed at JC and smacked his shoulder gently. “No ones going to beat my ass in, I swear. I’m going to do right this time.”

JC rolled his eyes at me and shook his head, “I hope so because if you fuck up, it’s not only your ass, its mine too. Mia doesn’t want Leila hurt anymore and I know if you do it, I’m going to get a lot of shit for it.”

“Dude, I told you, I’m not going to hurt her.”

“You’d better not,” He stated. “I’m glad you’re stepping up though, because that Travis guy is a douche. I want to bash his idiotic face into a wall. But yeah, uh… we’re going back to my house in like an hour or two… feel free to drop by if you’re not going to do anything scumbag like.”

I smirked to myself. That would be my chance. I would get Leila alone and prove to her that I could be the right man for her. I would open up to her about everything, about all my fears. I would do whatever I had to if it meant that I’d make this work.

Chapter 21- You keep me coming back for more

”And I really wish sometimes that we would just move on
But what would I be doing if you were gone
I don't wanna spend another night
Trying to figure out why you are always on my mind
All I know you keep me coming back for more
Even when I think I've had enough
When I tell you that it's over now we're done,
Don't let go, just keep me coming back for more”- “Coming Back for More” by Ashlee Simpson

**Leila**

“Oh Lord Almighty. Give me the strength to get through this…” I thought, over and over again. I probably sound like an emotional freak so let me recap a bit about my current freak out.

I was in the mood to be vindictive, to somehow show Justin that I didn’t need him anymore. I did just that by asking JC to help me record a new song (which coincidentally was about Justin. SURPRISE, SURPRISE!) and I invited my dick face ex-boyfriend Travis Inara to join us. I’d deal with a night of Travis and his annoying behavior if it meant that this would get back to Justin. I wanted him to feel like complete shit and most of all, I wanted him to regret what he had given up.

What I didn’t expect was Justin to walk through the doors of the studio, giving me a fucking heart attack. I held back any emotional outburst and forced my attention onto Travis. I promised myself that I would not let Justin know how much he had hurt me. I would not be an emotional nightmare. Girls like that are just unstable and unattractive. I would not be that type of person.

I did my best to pretend that Justin didn’t exist. It worked but was a double edged sword. While I was proud of myself for being strong, I grew absolutely miserable when realizing that Justin had bolted from the studio upon seeing me. Was I a plague to him or something?

While it hurt so badly, it taught me a lesson. I shouldn’t trust people. Especially when I was warned over and over by almost everyone I knew about said person or peoples. Ugh, I’m confusing myself now. Basically I needed to not trust anyone named Justin Timberlake. There, I fucking said it.

Now I was at some stupid party at JC’s house. Let me tell you that I didn’t want to fucking be there at all. Travis was trying to get in my pants every five seconds too, which was another fucking annoyance. I just wanted to go home and gorge on a pint of cake batter ice cream from Coldstone. I would have left too but JC kept telling me that I needed to stay and he’d make up some lame ass excuse to keep me there. Ugh. Did I mention I wanted to go home?

“Trav, can you get me a drink?” I asked Travis with a fake smile. Oh my family was going to love it when they heard I was hanging out with this jerk off. For some strange reason, they all seemed to love him. Yeah, they were the only ones. If they only knew what kind of disgusting pervert that he was. I don’t think a minute past where he wasn’t trying to look down my shirt. “Please?”

“Sure, but what do I get out of it?”

I tried not to look disgusted because I knew what he was aiming it. HA! I would never in my life touch that schemer again, “A hug?” I thought a hug was even too much for him. Travis didn’t even deserve my fucking attention.

“That’s it?” He looked disappointed. I calmed myself somehow. I repeated to myself how nice it would be for Justin to hear how cozy Travis and I were at his best friend’s house. That would make him feel like dirt. “I think I deserve a kiss.”

“That depends.”

“On what?”

“On how fucking strong my drink is.” I thought to myself, laughing inwardly. There was no way I would even think about kissing Travis Inara when sober. Not that he was ugly, he was goofy looking and could be sweet when he wanted to, but he had put me through such fucked up things. I totally didn’t want to go down that road ever again.

“Uh… if you play your cards right…” I fake flirted. Ew. I don’t know how I managed to keep the bile in me. I think it’s because of my superb acting skills. Haha.

“Then I’ll run for that drink,” Travis winked at me. My stomach churned as he walked away. Blech, what a complete douche.

Travis would serve his purpose though, and then I could happily go back to ignoring his ass. My family would ultimately hate that but seriously, I didn’t want to end up with a loser like Travis. He barely bothered with school, wasn’t even close to graduating and mooched off his parent’s money. He’s the male Paris Hilton except without the ability to get into every girl’s pants. I must have been delusional when I let him in mine.

Maybe I was delusional when I let anyone into my pants, including asshole Timberlake. Ugh, I hated him so much yet I somehow still found him attractive. I could have melted into the floor when he walked into the studio, dressed so casually, his blue eyed accentuated by the blue in his polo shirt. My fantasizing must have gotten the best of me, because I could have sworn that I saw Justin himself walk into JC’s house.

That was doubtful. JC seemed as adamant of me and Justin together as maybe even Mia and my family.

“I’m baaack.” Travis grinned and shoved a corona at me. I faked a smile and took the drink. This was just another sign that showed how much Travis knew me. Everyone knew that I couldn’t stand beer. Fuck, Justin learned that fast and learned to stock his house up with gallons of Malibu coconut rum.

Justin was considerate like that…or he seemed that way. He always tried to make everyone feel absolutely comfortable around him. I think that’s what made me fall so quickly and so hard. Oh God, I was counting the seconds till I was home with my best friend aka ice cream. Diet be damned tonight.

“Thanks,” I fake smiled at him. Oh, I hated phoniness but here I was being an absolute hypocrite. Maybe none of this was worth it. Justin probably didn’t even care that I was hanging out with Travis. He was onto his new piece of ass, Lindsay, and I was just old fucking news. Lord, I was so pathetic.

I took a sip of the beer and made a face of disgust. Travis didn’t seem to catch it. He was probably too busy trying to plan how to “seduce” me. Yeah, keep the dream alive buddy, because it was not going to fucking happen.

“So uh… how about we bail out of here… you know my parents are gone for the weekend?” Travis suggested, wiggling his eyebrows up and down. Men disgusted me. Seriously. Was everything about sex to them? If so, I just planned on being single for a long time. I didn’t need to be used by anyone. I could just buy a damn vibrator. At least that wouldn’t break your heart.

“Oh um… I actually have to uh… get home early,” I said lamely. I wasn’t good at coming up with excuses on the spot. My brain just doesn’t think that fast. “Sorry… rain check.” I almost shuddered at the thought of the rain check.

Travis looked annoyed but didn’t say anything else. He slumped back in his chair and downed the rest of his drink. I fought his hand away, which tried to make its way up my skirt. Blech. That is seriously not a turn on! Instead it’s a huge fucking turn off.

I stared into space, pretending to look interested in Travis when JC was in the vicinity and then promptly ignoring him when JC was gone. Yes, I’m a fucking bitch for using this guy, but he deserved this and a lot worse. I tapped my fingertips against the leather couch and dully looked at my beer. I contemplated taking another sip out of boredom but the stingy smell burned my nose and I quickly placed the bottle back on my lap.

“Hey Lei… I figured you might like a drink you’d enjoy… I know you don’t drink anything but girly bitch drinks.”

I almost didn’t look up. I almost kept my control and ignored that voice, but my heart betrayed my mind. My heart basically told my common sense where to go and there I was, gazing up into Justin’s blue eyes. My heart felt like it might explode, literally burst out of my chest and fall straight into the palm of Justin’s hand. That was where he had me.

“Thanks,” I said as coldly as I could. I grabbed the drink from his hand and turned my attention onto Travis. Quickly, I threw my legs over his lap and caressed his face. “You know baby, maybe we should go back to your house. We have time.”

The stunned and excited look on Travis’ face and the laughter coming from Justin only served to anger me. How dare he fucking laugh at me! Was he saying that I couldn’t get a fucking guy? That son of a bitch! I hated him with every fiber of my being. I took a sharp breath in to keep myself from vomiting at the mere thought of what I was about to do.

I grabbed Travis and mashed my lips against his or at least that’s what I was trying to do. I unsuccessfully slammed my mouth into his nose. Travis yelled in pain and I nearly jumped across the couch, my hand nursing my mouth which was in absolute pain. Travis’ hand was over his nose and when I saw a trickle of blood sliding down his face, I knew I fucked up my plan of making Justin jealous.

Speaking of Justin, the asshole was doubled over with laughter. I’m mumbled an apology to Travis and then promptly dosed Justin with the Malibu Bay breeze he gave me. Turning on my heel, the entire party was in hysterics at this fiasco. The last thing I wanted to be was a joke to anyone. Embarrassed, I ran into JC’s yard, trying to hide from everyone until I could make a quick escape.

Don’t get me wrong, I was feeling bad for probably breaking Travis’ nose; even though he deserved it for being fresh with me all night. I just can’t handle humiliation. It makes me want to run the fuck away and hide from everyone. Man, why do these stupid things always happen to me?

“You know, throwing a drink on me was kind of uncalled for.”

It fucking figured that Justin was going to follow me. I sat on swing on JC’s gazebo, taking in the beautiful early summer flowers. Did Justin really have to come over and torture me some more? His presence alone made me miserable. It was all a reminder of something I had that I would never get again. Shit, my plan was back firing on me. It was making me feel like the asshole.

“So was fucking a skank… that didn’t phase you though,” I hissed back at him.

Justin tried to sit down next to me on the loveseat swing. I quickly scooted over to the farther side of the swing. Ugh, I didn’t need this right now.

“Are you calling yourself a skank? That isn’t nice Leila.”

Fuming, I scrambled up from my seat and kicked the bench as hard as I could. In my lame attempt to hurt Justin, the bench came back at me and slammed into my knee. I keeled over and grabbed my injured knee. Justin merely looked at me with amusement. That’s all I was to him, an amusement, a fucking game. Not anymore.

“Fuck you this isn’t funny! I fucking hate you and your stupid whore, Lindsay. It figures you’d find someone as slutty as you to be your girl,” I spat. “Me and you never clicked because I have morals and you don’t. Now if you’ll fucking excuse me, I need to go somewhere that is far away from you.”

I made it two steps until Justin grabbed onto my wrist. I didn’t turn around but reluctantly tried to remove his hand from my wrist. Fuck! I hated him so badly. I hated him for making me want him so bad, I hated him for breaking my heart and above all I hated him because I somehow still loved him.

“You aren’t going anywhere Leila. We need to fucking talk… now.”

**Justin**

Leila was staring at me like she couldn’t wait to get away from me. I didn’t blame her for feeling that way but it still killed me. I had fucked this all up so bad. Shit, I was such a fucking dick for doing this to her. Everyone was absolutely right when they said I didn’t deserve a girl like this. Even knowing this, I couldn’t drag myself away from her side.

“Then talk,” She said angrily, her arms crossed across her chest. Her body language showed how far away she wanted to be from me. I took a step closer to her, trying to close the gap between us. Leila wasn’t having this, she took about three steps back, and glared at me. “I said talk!”

“I didn’t fuck Lindsay. You know I hate that bitch, Leila. Think about it.”

Leila laughed bitterly at me, “Right, right. That’s why she’s fucking all over you in pictures. What kind of idiot do you take me for?”

I ran my hand over my buzzed hair. Fucking hell, how could I convince this girl that I wasn’t lying? Was it all futile? Shit, I wouldn’t allow it to be futile. I cared for her. More than I probably should have. Losing her for good was just not an option.

“Leila, I didn’t fuck her! I know better than to put my dick up in there.”

“You do realize that isn’t saying much about your fidelity in general, right?” She retorted with a roll of her eyes. “Whatever, I don’t really want to have this conversation, it’s pretty fucking pointless. You fuck other girls, the fucking end. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get going, you can go find another girl to play mind games with. That girl is not going to be me anymore.”

No! I would not let her go! Not over something as retarded as this. For once I didn’t cheat on someone and goddamnit I was going to let that be known. I walked toward Leila in large strides. I grabbed a hold of her wrist and stared into her eyes.

“Tink, you’re the only girl I’ve ever been faithful to…you know that,” I reached forward to caress her face but she quickly jerked away from my touch. I winced and felt like I was suddenly suffocating.

What if Leila didn’t believe me? What if I couldn’t convince her that I hadn’t cheated? Or even worse, what if I did and she just didn’t want to deal with the baggage that came along with dating me? I didn’t think I could handle that. As much as I had been fearful of this relationship, I also loved every bit of it. I wanted to save this; I wanted to make it work.

“Leila… I swear on my fucking mother that I didn’t touch Lindsay. I took pictures with her on purpose… because I’m a fucking bitch who got scared again.”

Leila stared at me with her mouth agape. I bet she wasn’t expecting such a blunt answer from me. I wasn’t expecting to give one like that either. I licked my bottom lip as I exhaled deeply. Leila was speechless and I wasn’t sure if that was a good or a bad thing. I guess it was better than her laughing in my face or kicking me in the nuts.

When she didn’t speak, I took that as my cue to continue, “I fucked up again. I know this. The whole Demario and Adrianna situation just made me nervous. You know that I have my relationship issues… I just didn’t want us to end up as miserable as they are now.” Leila’s expression softened as she stared at me with understanding. Or at least that’s what I was taking the look for. It might have been wishful thinking at its best, “…and I thought I was saving us grief by trying to end this but instead I made it worse.”

I watched Leila swallow hard before finally speaking, “Adrianna and Demario are two completely different people going through an unfortunate situation. We were nothing like them, Justin.”

“I know… it’s just that me and Demario are so alike-“

“No, you are different people with different minds. Fuck Justin, did you try to end this because you wanted to follow in Demario’s footsteps or was it because you truly were scared again?”

“I don’t know…” I answered honestly. “I think it was a mixture of both.”

She shook her head at me and looked down at the ground. I approached her and this time she didn’t run away. I rubbed her biceps gently and stared at her face that refused to meet mine. I watched her inhale and exhale, trying to calm herself. I wanted nothing but to kiss her senseless, to have her melt in my arms. I knew better than to push my luck, especially right now when she was still so upset with me.

Fuck, I was upset with myself.

“You do know that you sound completely ridiculous, right?” She said incredulously and shook her head from side to side. “Because seriously, it’s the most moronic thing that I’ve ever fucking heard. You tried to hurt me and dump me because you were scared and wanted to follow in the footsteps of your asshole friend.”

“No! I didn’t mean like I wanted to purposely do what he did… De and I just live similar lives, I thought it might just happen like that. I got scared so I just backed off. It was a defense mechanism of sorts.”

“I didn’t know being a douche was a defense mechanism,” She snorted and finally looked up at me. Her eyes were glassy; she looked like she was on the verge of tears. It absolutely destroyed me to see her like that. What was worse is that she was like that because I was a dick. “You know if you were a normal person, you just could have come to me and told me this. You could have saved us both a lot of pain.”

“I just didn’t think…”

“It’s not like I smother you or anything Justin, if you were fucking scared I would have given you space. Instead you do an asshole thing that makes me feel like absolute garbage. What’s the point of that, J?”

I closed my eyes for a moment, letting the words sink in. There was no point in any of this other than to hurt her. I wanted her to hurt because I thought it would make Leila hate me faster. If she hated me, she’d be done with me for good. It was seeming like I did a fine job of that. I didn’t know what was going through Leila’s mind and that scared me. Usually I could read her like a book but now she seemed so cold and angry. It was all normal, but I just wanted to know if she still cared. If she could give me another chance…

“Do you want me to go into the party and proclaim to everyone that I’m an asshole? I have no problem doing that, Tink. I’ll do anything to make you forgive me,” I let go of her arms and turned towards the house. I didn’t get very far when Leila grabbed my arm.

“Justin, I’m not asking for any of that! Don’t be dramatic!”

I zipped around, our bodies inches from touching, “Then tell me what I can do? Tell me that there’s still hope for us. Please.”

“Well… you would have to show me that you’re not ashamed of our relationship. I would want everyone to know about it,” Leila responded firmly.

“Done, what else do you want?”

“It’s not a matter of what I want Justin, it’s what I expect out of any relationship. I think honesty is the most important thing for any two people in any type of relationship. If you’re scared, you should let me know and vice versa. If this is going to work, we need to be open. Also, don’t make me repeat myself about this. I hate sounding like a broken record and that’s what I’m becoming.”

“I’m cool with that. Very cool actually,” I smiled at Leila. I rubbed her cheeks with the pads of my thumbs. I saw that familiar blush rise in her cheeks and I smiled. Was I getting to her? Where things going to go back to how they were? “I’m sorry, Lei. Are things okay with us now?”

She looked at me and I honestly felt terrified. Would we be okay? Seconds passed and she still didn’t answer me. My heart raced due to the anticipation. Shit, I’d felt this way when it came time to the Grammys, not when it came to a female. Oh God, I was so sprung on this girl. It was abnormal.

“I don’t know…”

“Tink… please…”

“Justin, I don’t fucking know if I can trust you! I don’t want to get hurt again!” She exclaimed and threw her arms in the air with frustration. “Let’s just take this one day at a time… be friends first or something…”

My eyes widened in absolute anger, I grabbed Leila’s waist and pulled her to me, “FUCK THAT! Leila, I’m fucking sorry! I fucking care so much about you and I swear on ANYTHING that I will be the man you need me to be!”

“Justin, calm down… okay,” She spoke soothingly. “You just need to prove this to me, J…”

“What the fuck?! Leila, I just poured my heart out to you! Isn’t that enough?!”

My body was pressed against Leila’s, I was sure she could hear my heart pounding in my chest. Lord, this was not happening. I wasn’t the type of man to go this crazy over a girl. It was scary how much I cared for her. If things didn’t work out with her, I didn’t want to deal with how distraught I was going to be. Fucking hell, I just wouldn’t let it happen. For the first time in my life, I would fight for someone.

“Justin…just relax…”

I leaned down and captured Leila’s lips into a soft kiss. Even if she wanted to pull away from our kiss, I wouldn’t let her. I was holding her waist so tightly and so close to me. Nothing would make me let go of her, not even hell freezing over or the world coming to a fucking end.

Slowly, I felt Leila melt into me. The tenseness in her body relaxed and she quickly began to kiss back. Her lips parted, allowing my tongue to slide into her mouth, Her taste, her scent, everything about her was intoxicating. I sighed, loving the familiar feeling her kiss sent throughout my body.

My hands slid underneath her t-shirt and my fingertips rubbed her already hard nipples. Her hot mouth was driving me crazy, it was making me visualize what it would be like to be inside her hot, wet cunt. Fuck, I wanted her so badly. I wanted to make her want me too. I wanted Leila to cum so hard that she’d forget about everything. That was the key right? That would make it all better, wouldn’t it?

I squeezed her nipples and twisted them. She moaned into my mouth and I grinned through the kiss. It was working. I was going to make her realize that she wanted to forgive me for being a dick.

I pulled back from the kiss and looked at Leila who seemed dizzied, “Come on… come upstairs with me…”

“Okay…”

I grinned at Leila and grabbed her hand. As quick as I could, I ran towards JC’s house with Leila’s hand tightly gripped in mine. I ran up the back stairway where thankfully no one saw us. I knew I wouldn’t hear the end of it from that bitch Mia if she saw. Even JC would probably give me a stern look and lecture. Asshole needed to realize that he wasn’t my fucking Father. His advice would be taken when fucking solicited.

Reaching the top of the stairs, I walked into the first guest bedroom I saw and locked the door behind me. Without any notice, I threw Leila down on the bed and tugged her panties down her hips. She started to protest but it was quickly silenced when my tongue licked her dripping wet slit. Leila shivered at the touch and I loved it. I was going to make her do a hell of a lot more than shiver.

“J…Justin… we shouldn’t…”

“Shhh….” I soothed.

I pushed one finger inside her and then another. She was shaking, her body turning absolutely rigid. I pumped my fingers in and out of her pussy, my mouth attached to her clit. I flattened my tongue against the nub and moved my tongue across it quickly. Leila was growing wetter and wetter by the second and honestly, my dick couldn’t have been any fucking harder.

“Agh! Justin… yes!” I grinned and shoved my fingers upwards. It wasn’t hard to find Leila’s g-spot, especially after all the time we had spent getting to know each other physically.

I put my hand down on her lower stomach as she squirmed under me, her hips jerking involuntarily. Flicking her clit with the tip of my tongue a couple of more times, I looked up at Leila, “What is it baby girl? Do you like when I eat your little pussy?”

“Mmm… y-yes… I love it…” She moaned.

“Is this pussy mine?” I asked with a grin. I purposely jammed into her g-spot harder. Fuck, I loved this girl and her responses to my touch. “Tell me, Leila, is it only mine?”

“YES! Justin, I’m fucking yours!”

She was almost at her peak, but fuck, I wanted her to cum with me. I ripped my clothes off within second and positioned myself at her opening. Yes, this was going to be even sweeter. I seduced her into becoming mine again and fuck would I ever let her go again. This was probably my last chance to get it together and I wouldn’t waste it. I mean, what kind of idiot would keep making the same mistake? That’s just asking to fuck things up for good.

My cock slid into her tight hole, one I had missed for weeks now. Let me tell you, make up sex is hot after not getting it for a while. Anyway, Leila stared at me, dizzied, panting and completely flushed. I kissed her lips and slowly moved my hips in and out of her. She moaned, clutching onto my back, her hips matching the pace mine moved at.

Shit, I know this is going to sound gay, but there’s just something about sex with her. You know how people say that you’re supposed to feel all gushy inside when you have sex for the first time. Was it normal to feel that way a long while later? I didn’t know what to expect anymore. All my normalcy was thrown to the fucking wind when Leila was involved. Nothing was certain anymore, just that I cared deeply for her. When the fuck did something like that ever happen?

My hips rolled against hers and she cried out, her nails dragging up and down my back. It was sick, I was never one for that pain is pleasure crap, but this shit just felt good. Every experience with this beautiful girl felt good. I cupped her breasts, yanking on the hard nipples. She squealed and thrashing underneath me. Just watching her cry out and moan is all I need to get me to my peak.

But tonight wasn’t about me, this was about her. This was about me showing her how I felt about her. I slid out of her and slammed back in harder this time. Leila cried out and I looked at her face, hoping I hadn’t hurt her in my rush to please her.

“Baby, you alright?”

“B-b-better than alright…” She stuttered out. “You feel so fucking good… I missed this… I missed you…”

I smirked at her submission to me. She was fucking mine. There should have never been a doubt in her mind or my own about that fact. Sure, I’d fucked up things before but damnit, this girl was wholly mine. That asshole Travis didn’t deserve someone like her, neither did I really, but I’d work hard to keep her as mine. JC was right when he said that these games had to stop.

“Me too…” I pulled her legs around my waist and grinned as she locked them in place. I knew I couldn’t hold on much longer and by the flush and incessant moaning, I could tell that she couldn’t either.

I groaned as I thrusted in and out of her, each thrust harder than the last. My chest was flat against hers and I could feel her breasts bouncing underneath me. Our bodies were sticky with sweat and I just didn’t care. I was concentrating so hard on making her feel good, on making sure that she’d scream my name out.

“J…. I’m gonna…” She moaned, her pussy grinding against me. I took a deep breath in, my body shaking. Even if I wanted to keep going, I wasn’t going to be able to. I pumped my cock inside her a few more times before I busted hard. I filled her up with my cum, the remains of my sexual frustration over the last two or so weeks.

Leila came spiraling behind me, my name on her tongue as she orgasmed. Her pussy squeezed around me, milking me of the last remains of my cum. I panted as I stared down at her. She looked so beautiful, flushed red in the cheeks, her blonde hair sticking to her face. I leaned down and captured her lips in sweet kiss and she giggled tiredly.

“You fuck this up again Justin and we’re done for good… I’m serious this time…”

The scary thing was that I knew she wasn’t bluffing. I just hoped I wouldn’t bitch out like I had so many times before…

Chapter 22- “Actions and Motives”

“Oh what tangled webs we weave.
When we practice to deceive.
I know you well.
I know you well.” – “Actions and Motives” by 10 Years.

**Leila**

My Dad wasn’t very thrilled when I told him that I was moving out. He was kind of eerily calm. I expected a lot of screaming and fighting; honestly he gave up after a while and laughed at me. He explained that hormones were making me move out. I honestly didn’t think that he really believed me. I was so set on earning my independence as well as being there for Adrianna and her baby. He wasn’t going to stop me, nor was anyone else. I was making my own money now and I didn’t need to depend on my Father financially.

My first single off my newly finished album was doing well on the radio. I wasn’t too happy about the single choice since it was a duet with Demario called “About Us”. I knew it all meant I was going to have to spend time with him and maybe even perform with him. To be honest, I pretty much hated Demario and fought so hard to get Justin to change the single. He was pretty adamant about it, which completely infuriated me.

Anyway, come moving day my Dad saw how serious I was and it freaked him out. I was in the middle of dragging out a box of clothes when my father stood in the doorway of the house. His arms were crossed and he seemed like he was completely adamant about me leaving the house. Ha, too bad that wasn’t his damn decision.

I walked towards the doorway, holding the heavy box in my hands. My father glared at me showing me that he wasn’t about to move. I exhaled a sigh, “Dad, you’re in my way.”

“Leila, get back upstairs,” Noah Jacobs hissed at me. When I didn’t move, he raised his voice angrily. “I said GO!”

“I’m not a dog,” I responded, narrowing my eyebrows at him. “And I will not go upstairs. I’m moving out.” I took a step closer to the doorway and my father crossed his arms over his chest. I noticed my older brother, Aiden, standing outside with a mirrored look of anger. I rolled my eyes at the two of them.

“Get upstairs.”

“This box isn’t light, please move,” I responded with a glare. Neither my Father nor my brother moved. I huffed angrily. “Dad, come on. I know you aren’t happy about this but I’m a big girl. It’s time for me to make my life.”

“You are too young and immature to be living on your own Leila. You aren’t ready to have that type of responsibility. I’m already infuriated that you’re pursuing music without my blessing, but please, at least stay home so I can help make sure you don’t end up like every other female celebrity.” My Dad droned on.

I stared at him like he had 10 heads. Did he really think I was the type of person to end up in rehab? I shook my head and was unable to hold back my laughter. I knew that my brother and father were glaring at me angrily but this was just so funny and insulting. How little did they think of me? I would never in my life want to become a coke head whore like Lindsay and friends.

“Oh please,” I rolled my eyes angrily. “Clearly you do not know me if you’re going to jump to conclusions like that. I’m a grown woman who is fully capable of making her own decisions.”

“We don’t agree Leila. We think you’re so enamored by Justin that you think you’re ready for such a big responsibility.” Aiden stated roughly. “I think you need to chill out, wait a couple of months and get everything in check before you move out.”

I stared at the two men who thought they knew what was best for me. If it was up to them, I’d probably still be running around in pigtails and playing with dolls. How could I really trust them and their judgment? I mean, clearly they wanted me to go back to school and finish my degree. I wasn’t up for that. I wanted to share my voice with the world. I was ready to take any backlash that came with it too.

“I thank you for the advice but it’s not necessary. My mind is made up, now will you please move out of my way?”

The shade of anger in my father’s eyes did not go unnoticed. I took a deep breath and walked forward, gently nudging my father to the side. It surprised me that he complied and let me walk past him. I guess he must have realized how determined I was. I put my box in the back seat of my car and swiftly walked back to the house, that was when Aiden stood in my path.

“Take that box out of the car before I do,” Aiden fumed with his arms over his chest.

“I’m sorry but no,” I spat at him and side stepped to move past him. He met my step and continued to block my path. He towered over me and for a second I felt terrified. Aiden was huge, much bigger than I was by height and I was sure that he could take me in a fight. I swallowed hard and took another step. “Get out of my way, Aiden!!”

“Leila, don’t make me raise my voice… get your shit and get back up to your room.” My eldest brother demanded. Normally I would have listened to what he said without a second thought. Now, I wasn’t so scared of him anymore. I crossed my arms over my chest defiantly and started back at Aiden. “Leila…now.”

My Father was gazing back at the two of us curiously but not daring to speak. I was absolutely horrified. Did they think I was an obedient dog that would do whatever was asked of me? Unfortunately for them, that Leila was long gone. I was going to live my life the way I intended t and if they didn’t like it, that sucked for them. I was a grown woman and unlike my brothers, I really didn’t plan on living in my Dad’s house for the rest of my life.

“Aiden, you do not own me. I will NOT go and get my stuff back, I am leaving!”

Aiden gazed into my eyes, I watched as he turned pale, then red and then purple. I could see the emotions flashing through his eyes and I uneasily took a step backwards. Aiden followed my lead and took two large steps closer to me. His finger poked me in the shoulder, shoving me backwards.

“You are a fucking little girl who seems to be hypnotized by some pretty boy with a fucking dick. Leila, having a couple of thousand dollars does not fucking mean that you are financially stable. Wait till you are stable, or let Dad take care of you and give you an apartment… don’t fucking shut everyone out because of some stupid guy who will PROBABLY DUMP YOU IN THE NEXT THREE MONTHS!”

Those words were like my biggest fear. Breaking up with Justin again was something I feared on a daily basis. I loved him so much and I struggled with telling him everyday. I wanted nothing more than to tell him about how I felt about him. Of course, his fucking fear of commitment stopped me from doing that. Telling Justin something that powerful would definitely send him running for the hills. That was him though, he was always running from the next step. If we stuck it out the next three years, I highly doubted that he would even think about marriage or kids… then again I was only 20 so a step like that was awesome by me.

“You are a cruel and miserable person, Aiden. I’m not moving out for Justin… I’m moving out for myself and for my best friend Adrianna! She’s pregnant and she needs me right now!” I screamed in Aiden’s face.

I licked at my chapped lips, knowing that my latest statement was a mistake. No one knew that Adrianna was pregnant. That knowledge would absolutely infuriate my entire family. They all adored Adrianna and I think even thought of both her and Mia like daughters or sisters. They were bound to get angry and protective about this.

“She’s WHAT?!” Noah Jacobs’ intercepted. “Do you see that Leila?! Do you see WHY I don’t want you going out on your own or trusting people?! The two of you think you’re so grown up but you’re little girls!! You don’t know anything about the real world!”

I was horrified at the venom being spat at me. I blinked my eyes a few times, trying to come to terms with what was being said to me. It was clear that my older brother and father thought that I was an incompetent little girl who had no idea how to take care of myself.

“You’re right… I have absolutely no clue about the real world. But staying here will not allow me to learn anything about it.” I stepped past my brother and moved to walk back in the house.

I breezed past them all and stepped back into my childhood bedroom. I grabbed another box filled with some knickknacks and pictures. More specifically, pictures of my Mother. I doubted that I’d ever be able to be comfortable in my new apartment without having those important pictures with me.

As I went to exit the room, the box was swiftly removed from my hands. My twin brother Kyle smiled at me and I swallowed hard. Was he going to yell at me too? I don’t think I could take listening to another person tell how immature I was and how much of an idiot I could be.

“It’s going to be okay…” Kyle stated comfortingly. “I’ve got your back, Lala… so grab another box and let’s go.” 

My brother had me completely stunned, but in a good way. I would have never expected him to take my side like this. I was completely grateful; he’d probably have no idea how much. I followed his lead and grabbed another box of clothes. I followed Kyle down the stairs where the rest of my family was patiently waiting. I was a bit terrified to say the least, but with Kyle by my side, I thought I might actually be okay.

“Kyle, what the fuck are you doing?” Aiden practically hissed. “Don’t fucking help her.”

“No, you guys can’t hold her back from this. She’s an adult and if she wants to move out, you should fucking let her.” Kyle explained. He set the box of my belongings down on the stairs and slowly made his way over to my Dad. “You have to learn to trust her.”

“Trust her? How can I trust her when she’s so ridiculous? She does not listen to me when I tried telling her that she needed to stop fooling around with that Timberlake asshole. She’s too innocent and I’m sure she’ll get herself into as much trouble as Adrianna has.” My Dad shook his head, looking over at me in disgust. “Don’t even think about coming here and telling me if that happens to you, Leila.”

“I’m not going to get pregnant,” I rolled my eyes at my Father’s ignorance. He fucking put me on the pill. It wasn’t possible to get pregnant on the pill. Idiot. He was just looking for an excuse to bitch at me.

“You say that now, but that idiot, Timberlake probably is banking on it.”

“Dad… stop,” Kyle replied for me. I sent him a look, thanking him for sticking up for me. He nodded his head and continued. “Leila’s an adult and if she wants to move out then you shouldn’t stand in her way. I trust Leila and honestly, Justin isn’t that bad of a guy. I don’t think he’ll hurt her.”

I looked at my brother stunned. I hadn’t expected him to say something like that about Justin. I didn’t even realize that he actually liked Justin. What happened to the dancing fairy princess comment and the warnings? Did he finally see that Justin wasn’t a bad person? I wondered when this happened as I stared at my brother. I wasn’t complaining at all, I was actually thrilled that he was so cool with everything.

“Fuck Dad, he might even be a little campy… don’t worry,” Kyle went on. I shook my head at the words.

“He’s not gay!”

Aiden laughed, “Yeah right, and Michael Jackson never had any plastic surgery.”

“FUCK YOU!” I swear, I almost reverted back to my 7th grade persona. All I needed was pigtails and a fucking packed lunch. Ugh. I hated this. I hated the control my family had over me. It needed to end.

“Dad, I bet he can’t even get it up. She’s like his beard or something,” Kyle laughed. I shot him a warning glare which he ignored. “They probably just sit around together and giggle and talk about how sexy Johnny Depp is.”

DAD!” I exploded. “Make them stop!”

My Dad was beginning to crack a smile which he was trying to hide behind his hand. I was most definitely not amused and I showed it by stomping on Kyle’s foot. He yelled out in pain which I smiled a little too widely at. Maybe I’m a bit masochistic and sadistic. It happens when you’re raised with three rowdy men.

“Oh my God! He probably liked him as a pirate!” Aiden doubled over in laughter and changed his voice to a British sounding one. “Ello Captain Jack Sparrow… my good boy Justin Timberlake wants your bum.”

That was all I needed to hear. I stomped over to Aiden and swiftly kicked in the leg. He lunged at me and I quickly backed up. Aiden could kick my ass if he wanted and seriously, I was terrified of that. I’d run away if he tried to hit me or something.

“Leila… he likes it up the ass… okay? Deal with that,” Kyle laughed. “Dad, its Justin Timberlake… the dude from the boy band. Let’s be serious right now, are you going to let that walking Ken doll scare you?”

I huffed and put my hands on my hips. My thinking was completely off the radar and I just exploded. I stared at my family as I turned completely red. How dare they say such things about my boyfriend and I? They had no right to make judgments about the man I loved. Fuck! I knew Justin was viewed as shady to them, but they had no right to blatantly disrespect him to me. I didn’t do that to any of their skanky significant others. It just wasn’t right.

“JUSTIN LIKES PUSSY, OKAY?! Fucking trust me on that, we have a REALLY good sexual relationship!”

All the laughter died down and the three men stared at me horrified. If that wasn’t a stupid thing for me to say, I don’t know what was. I grabbed the two boxes and balanced them on top of each other and ran out of the house, appalled with what I just revealed to my family. They weren’t supposed to know that I had a sex with anyone, let alone Justin.

I shoved the boxes in the car as I reeled from the various emotions flooding through me. I was horribly angry at my family for making fun of Justin and not accepting our relationship, and I was ashamed at myself for getting on such a childish level. Acting like an idiot was not going to make my family respect me.

“Stop,” The deep voice of my eldest brother made me pause my actions. I took a deep breath in before restarting my actions. I secured the boxes in the back seat of my bright yellow car and closed the door. “I know you heard me.”

“I’m choosing to ignore.”

“I don’t want you to go.” Aiden stepped closer to me and put his hand on my shoulder. I was shocked that he was speaking so calmly for once. That was not at all like my brother who argued about everything. “I think this is a bad idea… and I’m worried.”

I blinked a few dozen times before turning around. Was my brother actually admitting that he was scared? That was so unlike him. Aiden was always the tough guy who never even thought about reasoning with someone. His idea of getting his way was fighting or arguing. I gazed at the sincerity in my brother’s face.

“Please Lei,” He continued. “All joking aside, I know Justin isn’t gay. I actually know that Justin dated my girlfriend, Callie.”

CALLIE? Justin did date that red headed bitch that spilled the drink on me. Thanks to my phenomenal memory, I remembered that when I first met Justin, he received a phone call from a girl named Callie and even went on a date with her. The pieces fell together and I felt completely sick to my stomach. It was no wonder why she threw a drink at me. The girl probably hated me because I was dating Justin. I took what was hers.

I looked at Aiden, the displeasure noticeably coloring my face, “I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah… apparently, he’s a closet pill popper,” Aiden explained. I shook my head in disbelief. “On top of that… he even hit Callie. I didn’t want to have to tell that to Dad, but if you go, I’m going to.” 

“Aiden, he’s never put a hand on me and I’ve never even seen him touch a hard drug.”  I shook my head and waved my hands before me, dismissing the subject. It wasn’t possible. Justin would never hit a woman. I mean, he had a temper but I could never see him doing something like that. “I know him Aiden, I know him well enough to know that she’s fucking lying to you.”

“No, Leila you are lying to yourself by not accepting this.”

No… this couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be true. I raised a hand and placed it on my forehead in dismay. I couldn’t think straight at that moment. I just wanted to cry. Even if I was thinking about ever marrying Justin, that dream seemed to be right out the window. My family would completely detest the idea. Fuck, I think marrying him now would lead to being disowned.

Something inside me, the part that knew what a good guy Justin could be, didn’t believe any of this. Hearsay is just that, hearsay and can be made up. Callie could have just been making all this up because she’s some bitter ex. Right? As the seconds passed, I was slowly regaining my faith in Justin. There was no way he’d lay a hand on a woman and if his mother knew he was even being accused of this he’d get the only slap.

“I don’t believe you,” I stood firm. “I know Justin, and I know his family. He wouldn’t do that… ontop of that, you and Dad are acting irrational. I’m not moving in with Justin, I have no plans of that.”

“LEILA! Would you take off the rose colored glasses and see the fucking world for what it is? You don’t know someone after a couple of months! Fuck, I thought I knew you after almost 21 years but I clearly don’t,” He sassed. The glare on my face never even faded. “I’m trying to protect you Leila, just like I always have…”

“No one asked you to protect me… I certainly never asked you to.”

“So it’s like that, huh?” Aiden’s hands were clenched into fists. “Choosing a guy over your family?”

“I’m not choosing anyone,” I said, the venom in my voice clear. “It seems like you are forcing me to choose. Aiden, I love you… but I also… fuck why is this so hard to say?” I ran my hand over my face with frustration. I took a deep breath in. “I love him too...”

“HIM?!” My brother screamed loudly. I quickly jumped back. “I’m telling Dad about Callie right now… he has to know.”

“AIDEN STOP!” I responded, the tears beginning to pour down my face. If my Dad knew about that he would ruin Justin’s career and mine. My Dad was powerful in the music business and all he had to think about was someone hurting his little girl and they would be toast. Fuck, I couldn’t hurt Justin like that, especially when I knew that this news was fake. “Don’t do this! Please… do this because I’m asking you not to.”

“I’m sorry… I’m doing this because it’s what’s best for you,” Aiden shook his head. “Until you see what the truth is, don’t talk to me anymore. I don’t want to know you at all.” Aiden began walking away from me and I couldn’t allow that to happen. I raced after my brother, my flip flops pounding against the asphalt pavement with a loud thump. I grabbed his arm, the tears pouring from my eyes.

“Aiden… I’m begging you….”

“I begged you and that didn’t work… now we’re even,” Aiden didn’t turn around. He shook my hand off his arm and took a few steps forward. “I won’t tell Dad… not yet. You have two weeks to break up with him and then I tell. Trust me, I’ll go all the way to the tabloids if that’s what it takes to get you away from him.”

Aiden didn’t give me the chance to answer. He walked into the house and slammed the wooden door behind him. I slumped to the ground, the tears pouring from my eyes like raindrops. How could I have such a fucked up ultimatum? What would I do? I exhaled with a strangled sob. I needed to talk to Justin as soon as possible…that was certain.

**Justin**

Leila called me around two in the afternoon. I was sleeping most of the morning with an insane hangover. Demario was newly single and he begged me to go to some club opening because he wanted to tap Rihanna’s ass. I was in good with her thanks to helping her with her new album and occasionally fucking her in the studio when Chris Brown wasn’t around. Haha.  If I was single I’d probably get that pussy again too. My girl looked better so I didn’t even need to bother with that slut.

Anyway, De ended up pounding that while I got so fucked up that I couldn’t even walk straight. My bodyguards had to practically carry me to my car. It definitely wasn’t one of my proudest moments, but it happens to everyone every once in a while. It didn’t really matter because Leila didn’t know and I sure as fuck wasn’t going to tell her that. She definitely wouldn’t be happy that I was out partying without her. Telling her would only add drama to our newly repaired relationship.

I mean, I wasn’t one for pimping a relationship after my train wreck with Britney, but if Leila wanted that, then I’d do it. I had scheduled an interview and photo shoot with her for Rolling Stone. She was excited about it, I was kind of terrified. This was bound to bring a lot of negative press attention and I didn’t want to deal with that, but if it kept me with Leila, I’d force myself.

So far, I was on a bit of a tight leash with her and aside from the party the night before, I had been a model boyfriend. Life was good, I was with Leila all the time, her first single was doing amazing on the radio and my movie, Alpha Dog was doing pretty decent in the box office. Like I said, life was good. I didn’t have any complaints really, besides the fact that the entire Jacobs clan wanted me castrated. Fuck them though; if they wanted to be dicks then they could be just that. It wasn’t going to hurt me, but just isolate Leila from them.

It was fucked up; apparently Noah offered Leila money to keep away from me. What a fucking douche bag. I was happy to hear that Leila laughed in his fucked up face. Ugh, I didn’t understand why he couldn’t give me a fucking chance. I made his daughter very happy (in and out of the bedroom, of course) and he just needed to back the fuck off.

I figured though, that when Leila called me sobbing, it had something to do with those jerks. I immediately rolled my ass out of bed, popped a couple of Tylenols and headed to her new apartment. It was a bit awkward to be at the apartment honestly; Adrianna was there and she stared at me like I was Satan incarnate. I smiled politely at her because I knew you should never fuck with a pregnant lady. I used to tease my step mother Lisa when she was pregnant with my brother Stephen and yeah, that never ended well. I’d get the only verbal attacks from her afterwards.

Yeah, I definitely didn’t need a verbal attack from Adrianna, because if she yelled at me, all the women present would yell. That’s like an unwritten law or chain of slurs.

I parked my car outside and made my way into Leila’s condo in a very incognito type way. I say that because no one fucking noticed me. It was great. Usually a camera was shoved in my face or someone was running up to me and asking for an autograph. It was a nice break from the usual song and dance.

Anyway, I got in the elevator of Leila’s building and quickly made my way up to the top floor. Soon I was at the front door of Leila and Adrianna’s apartment. I knocked once and was taken back when Leila launched herself at me in a mess of tears.

“Whoa…I didn’t think you missed me that much…” I laughed and rubbed at my girlfriend’s lower back. When I felt her shaking out a sob, I knew that something was strangely wrong. I pulled back from our hug and looked at my teary eyed girl. “What happened?”

“My brother is an asshole!” She exclaimed weakly. “He’s fucking blackmailing me.”

“What do you mean?”

I was at a fucking loss. Why would her brother be blackmailing her? I mean, wasn’t he looking out for her well being? Why would he want to destroy her then? Leila’s family was strange to begin with, I mean they were completely against her happiness with me. Even if they didn’t like me, they should fucking learn to tolerate me. I fucking tolerated them and their ridiculous behavior.

Needless to say, my blood was soon boiling. How could they try and do that to her? This was his little sister for crying out loud. I would never do that to my siblings. It was just cruel and fucked up.

“Lei… what the fuck is going on? What is he threatening?”

“He said that you dated that girl, Callie… that Aiden is dating now… and well you beat her or something and he wants to go to my Dad and the press.” She stated quickly. I almost didn’t understand what she was saying since she was sobbing so hard. When the words hit me I was completely dumbfounded.

I may have fucked Callie hard, but I never hit her and certainly never dated that slut. My blood was fucking boiling at the lies. I couldn’t wait to go and give Callie a piece of my fucking mind. I was fucking happy and that stupid slut was not going to stand in my way. She would always be just a booty call to me and I’d make sure that everyone fucking knew that. That bitch was going down for making up lies like that. That shit wasn’t fucking funny. It could mess with my career and my relationship. It was safe to say that I was beyond just pissed off. I wanted revenge.

“I never dated that bitch, Leila I swear to fucking God. I did fuck her a lot but I swear that’s it,” I responded, watching mutely as Leila unhappily flinched at my words. I wasn’t proud of myself for putting that look on her face. It made my stomach clench in knots. “That was before us though baby, and I swear I regret it all now.”

“That’s the past,” She waved her hand dismissively but I knew that she probably was going to torture herself with thoughts about Callie and I. I knew that I would do the same thing if in her position. “I just don’t know what to do about my brother…”

“I’ll go talk to him and confront Callie, it’s not a big deal.”

It actually was a huge deal, but I didn’t want Leila to know that. It was enough that she was crying now and making my heart ache. The last thing I wanted to do was see her freak out even more. Seeing her cry just made me feel like shit. If it was possible, I’d make it so she never cried again. I never wanted her to feel an ounce of sadness. She deserved to be happy all the time and this time around I wanted to make sure that she would have just that, or something close to it.

“Justin how can you be so fucking nonchalant about this?! This is your future… this is OUR future as a couple at stake!” Leila practically screamed. I sighed and pulled her into my arms as her tears came out at a faster pace. I rubbed the small of her back and ignored Adrianna peaking into the hallway at us. The roll of her eyes signified that she hated me because I was associated with Demario.

God, I never wanted Leila and I to end up like that. That bitterness and hate was devouring both of them whole. The happiness and warm feelings completely dissipated. I still didn’t fully understand what went wrong, but it scared me that something like that could ever just happen to Leila and I. I’d work my ass off to make sure it didn’t happen to me. I don’t know how I’d survive if Leila hated me.

“I’m going to fix this Tink… I’ll fix everything… I promise,” I said soothingly. I felt her crying cease but I wasn’t completely sure that she believed me words. I wasn’t even really sure that I believed them. This was a pretty fucked up jam that we were in and I wasn’t sure how we were going to get out of it.

My job was on the line; that was my bread and butter. I could understand that Callie and Aiden hated me and wanted revenge, but you don’t go after someone life like that. That really pissed me off but I held it together. I’d have my say at the both of them when the time was right. For now I just had to focus on relaxing Leila as well as myself.

“I hope so…” Leila said in a small voice. I couldn’t help but to internally agree with her.

Chapter 23- Tainted Love

“He's a stranger to some
And a vision to none
He can never get enough,
Get enough of the one
For a fortune he'd quit
But it's hard to admit
How it ends and begins”- “From Yesterday” by 30 seconds to Mars.

**Justin**

Getting in touch with Aiden was pretty difficult. I left him three voicemails in a 24 hour period and I had received no answer. I was beginning to think that going down the Jacobs residence was probably the only way I’d get to talk to this guy. Leila was against this whole meeting. She was doing everything in her power to keep me busy and away from Aiden. That meant a lot of sex. It was kind of nice being distracted.

When I did get a chance to talk to Johnny about everything, he told me that I needed to do whatever I could to make peace. Nobody wanted to be enemies with the Jacob clan. They had power in the music business and someone like Noah had seniority. My career could definitely be destroyed if he got wind of these fucked up lies. Actually, he would probably hire someone to break my fucking neck and probably get away with it. Leila was his little angel and I was just a nuisance to him. This situation might just be an excuse for him to go after me.

Luckily, Leila had to record her new music video, which gave me some time to go search for Aiden. Leila unwillingly went to record the video to “About Us” with Demario. I gave De specific instructions to keep her busy so I could handle this Aiden/Callie situation. If he had to torture her, I told him to do it. Anything went at that moment.

I stood watching Leila and Demario record for a half hour and then slowly disappeared. Thankfully Leila didn’t have an inkling of what I was planning. This made my escape to the Jacobs household that much easier. I made one last futile attempt on my way there to call Aiden. I was pretty fucking stunned when he answered the phone.

“Aiden… I’m on my way to your house now. We need to fucking talk.”

“Timberlake?” He asked with a mocking tone to his voice. I rolled my eyes and turned down the familiar street that Leila once resided on.

“Yes… now get outside. I’m a few seconds away from standing at your front door.” I clicked the end button on my phone and hopped out of my BMW roadster.

As soon as I started walking up the gray stone path to the house, the front door slammed open. Aiden walked out, hand in hand with Callie. I almost regurgitated at the sight of that lying slut. I just wanted to pull every strand of her red hair out. I was sure that if my cousin Rachel got wind of this, she’d go and track down this girl herself. Rachel liked that I had Leila in my life and that I was finally “calming down”.

I walked up to Aiden and Callie with no expression on my face. The two of them were easily read though. Callie was smirking at me and Aiden just looked angry. His arms were crossed and he was trying to look as intimidating as possible. Yeah, that shit wasn’t fucking phasing me at all.

“Hello,” I said breaking the silence. “Obviously Leila told me that there’s some lies going around about me and I’d like to clear the air with you Aiden.”

“Go ahead,” Aiden said coldly.

“Not that it’s anyone’s business, but yes, I did have something with this… person… right here,” I glared at Callie with disgust. “But it was a sexual thing and that’s it. Honestly, I really care about Leila and I can promise you that I would never in my life hurt her.”

“Those are nice words, but I don’t believe a word of what you’re saying,” Aiden hissed. “My girlfriend told me that you hit her and you seem shady enough to do something like that. Not to mention, she and many others have alleged that you’re into some heavy drugs. You’ve got to understand that hearing that my sister is in danger is going to make me resort to desperate measures.”

Desperate measures? Was he for real? I raised an eyebrow at Aiden not sure of how to respond to his craziness. It was clear that he was threatening me and I wasn’t sure if I should laugh in his face or plead for him to understand. I didn’t want to be a pussy and beg for his understanding either. I didn’t want anyone to think that I wasn’t masculine enough.

“Is that a threat?” I finally asked darkly.

“You bet you’re fucking ass that it is. You know that Leila is a good girl, and let’s be honest right now, you’re just going to hurt her in the long run. It’s better for everyone that you just back the fuck away from her. I mean you got what you wanted, which was the notoriety that came from producing an album for the only daughter of Noah Jacobs, so now’s the time to start backing away.” I was stunned at what Aiden was saying to me. He just thought so negatively of me. I wasn’t even sure if I could persuade him to think differently.

I leaned my body back against the black iron fence. The coolness of the material immediately electrified me. I almost jumped back at the touch. I was on edge and nothing felt good, not even the cool metal on this scorching hot June day. I didn’t understand why my life had to be so fucking complicated. One could give the excuse that I was famous and normalcy didn’t come with my lifestyle. I found that to be utter bullshit. There were many people that got their happily ever afters. I wasn’t particularly sure why I couldn’t get mine.

Fuck… did I actually want a happily ever after? Was I really thinking about settling down for good? Man, my life was becoming so completely different. It was almost like I didn’t even recognize myself anymore. I wasn’t even sure what I really wanted besides to be with Leila.

“First of all, I’m not fucking using Leila for notoriety, I like her and I want to do whatever I can to help her to succeed. What I don’t understand is why you don’t want your sister to be happy. We both care about each other and you can fucking ask anyone that knows me if I’m faithful to her. She’s made me into a different person and you can believe what you want, like the lies from this groupie bitch,” I gestured to Callie who huffed angrily at me. “You can trust your sister or you can trust this stranger, the choice is yours, but either way, I’m not walking away from Leila.”

Callie was pretty much grossing me out. As I insulted her, she was staring at me with fucking “bedroom eyes”. Did the girl not have any self respect or was her plan to break up me and Leila so she could get back on my dick? That bitch was way past delusional. I’d much rather break her legs than even consider hopping back in the sack with her. 

Man, how could Aiden even consider wifeing that? He had to be functionally retarded to even think that someone like Callie would stay faithful to him. Whatever. That shit thankfully wasn’t my problem.

“You know that if you don’t walk away from her, there’s going to be hell to pay, right?” Aiden asked threateningly. He took a step towards me for affect. I didn’t budge; I merely stared back at him defiantly. “I may not fuck you up physically but I can promise that I’ll tell everyone what you did to Callie and that will destroy you and your pathetic career.”

“I didn’t fucking do shit to Callie… if you want to believe her, go the fuck ahead but I know what the truth is and so does Leila,” I stated and cracked my knuckles. I desperately wanted to bury my fist in this condescending asshole’s face.  “You’re a stubborn and gullible mother fucker and Callie you are a nasty lying bitch. You fucking KNOW I never laid a hand on you.”

“You’re the liar Justin! You’re every bit of the drug addict, abuser that I described and much more!” Callie yelled at me. I could almost hear the mocking tone in her voice. I really knew how to pick the crazy ones.

I could have went up to her and truly beat her like she said I had. That would teach her a fucking lesson. I held my temper in even though I was completely fuming. This bitch was spreading complete slander about me. I rubbed my temples as I tried to think rationally. Beating Callie would only lead to a law suit and I didn’t need that shit in my life. I just had to stay calm and cool.

“You can do whatever you like Aiden, but just to let you know, my lawyer will be watching your every move. If I find out that anything is said about me in the media, I will sue for slander and I will win the case.”

Aiden raised his eyebrow at me and finally laughed. I didn’t find him fucking amusing. I rolled my eyes at his immaturity and turned to leave. If he wanted to be a prick, that was fine. I wasn’t going to sit around and talk with someone who didn’t know how to have a normal conversation.

I walked to my car and tugged the driver’s side door open roughly. Just as I was going to step in, the annoying and shrill voice of Callie was met from behind me. I almost hissed out loud at the extreme anger and annoyance I was feeling. That bitch needed to back the fuck away from me before I broke her nose.

“This can all be solved really easily Justin.”

“Oh really?” I turned around to stare at Callie with absolute fury. “And how the fuck would that be?”

“You leave that fat girlfriend of yours and we continue our arrangement. You know you used to love fucking me and I’m pretty sure you miss it. We had wild and crazy sex Justin…and you know that I can please you better than that whale of a girlfriend of yours.”

Oh Callie was fucking delusional. I mean, sure she was hot and yeah, she was a really fucking good lay, but there was no way I’d touch her with a 10 foot pole. Not after all of this. I stared at Callie for a second and then just started laughing right in her face.

“Bitch, you’d better keep fucking dreaming. I wouldn’t fuck your loose pussy even if you paid me.”

“Fuck you Justin… you didn’t say that when you were inside me almost every night. You know that this was more than just a sexual thing. We had chemistry…we still do,” Callie whispered in her lowest tone. I rolled my eyes at her words. Did she think that she could seduce me? Please. I knew that fucking game. I could turn that shit around on her in an instant. She truly had no idea who she was dealing with.

“Sure.” I laughed at her. “Did you really think you meant something to me Callie?” I looked at her darkly, staring her body up and down before laughing again. “Aww.. you do… that’s so sweet.” I ran my tongue over my lips and continued my attack on the red head standing before me. “The truth is… every time I fucked you, Leila was on my mind. You will never add up to half the woman she is. Sorry about that, slut, second rate looks and a flat ass just isn’t worth the time.”

I waited for the moment that Callie would explode. It came sooner than I expected. Callie shoved me against my car, causing me to break out into more laughter. I knew I was being cruel, but fuck, I was pissed. Callie was threatening to ruin me as well as insulting my girlfriend. My words were nothing in comparison to what she had done to me.

“You are going to fucking pay for this Justin. Trust me… you’re going to fucking get yours in the end. I swear it,” Callie hissed at me, her face had turned completely red with anger. I shrugged my shoulders at her and continued to laugh.

“Bring it on baby, I’ll sue you for everything you’ve got if you even try anything stupid,” I replied with a huge grin.

I’ve made enemies before, but this time it was different. It was a personal attack on my wealth and the newest and most important factor in my life, my woman. I guess I knew how different this situation was, but part of me just wouldn’t back down. I absolutely couldn’t. Not when so much was on the line. Maybe if I took that into consideration, things wouldn’t have began to spiral and badly as they did. From that point on, I was a walking target and so was Leila.

**Leila**

If you would have told me that so much work goes into making a three minute video. I had been dancing for the last three hours and I was growing more and more exhausted by the passing minute. I was barely given a chance to rest. Everyone just wanted more and more out of me. I couldn’t understand why anyone wasn’t cutting me any slack. This was my first video after all and I wanted it to be a good experience. It was turning out to anything but.

The director, Francis, was being a complete nightmare. There was one particular scene in the music video where I was in the back seat of a convertible, dancing with Demario and we both had to jump into the front to evade the paparazzi and speed away. I seriously did it about fifty times and almost broke my ankle in the process. Demario was superhuman and doing it was ease. It was fucking pissing me off. Did the asshole have to be good at everything? Wait, whoops. He wouldn’t be good at being a dad because he was a fucking deadbeat.

“Leila, it’s not fucking hard. Half turn, hands up, thrust forward and then both legs over the chair,” Demario spat at me nastily. I could have sworn that we were friends once upon a time. What the fuck was this attitude? It wasn’t like he was my manager to be treating me this way. “Maybe if you would have practiced a little harder instead of fucking Justin in the dressing room earlier, you could have gotten this down.”

I plopped down in the cold leather seat of the bright pink Rolls Royce convertible. Yeah, I didn’t even like the color pink all that much but someone decided it would be a good idea to get me in a highly breakable and expensive car. Who the fuck would put me, the biggest klutz of all time in a car worth more than my life? The custom paint job alone was not something to be played with and I had already scratched the hell out of it with my jeans. I was doing my best to hide that though. I didn’t need to be yelled at even more than I already was.

“Leila, this isn’t the time for a break. We need to get this shot done before the sun goes down.” Francis spat at me from across the street where the main camera was located. I sighed and fought back any tears that were threatening to erupt from my eyes. I wouldn’t allow myself to look like an immature idiot in front of the entire crew.

I brushed off any of the nasty comments and stood up. I clenched my hands into tight fists at my sides and looked over at the crew, “I’m more than ready. Start the music up, let’s go.”

The song began again and I could safely say that I was getting mighty sick of the sound of it. Seriously, they played the fucking song on the radio every 20 minutes. I mean at first it was cool but it was starting to get a little annoying. Truthfully, “About Us” wasn’t my first pick for my first single. I truly wanted “Over it” to be first, being that it was the first song I had ever written and there was so much meaning behind it. Unfortunately I didn’t get a say in that department. I was just forced to smile and grit my teeth.

“They don’t know…They don’t know nothing about us… They don’t know about us baby…” Demario and I sang to each other in the backseat of the car. A camera was shoved in my face as I sang and I pretended to smile like nothing was going on. It was safe to say that I felt like a fucking idiot, but hey, Demario should feel like an idiot too. I mean, he was dancing with me in a pink fucking car.

I danced around the back seat in a pair of completely studded sunglasses. I could barely see out the front but I don’t think that was really the point. A swarm of fake paparazzi began to invade the car on cue and I turned to look at Demario as he did at the same moment. I raised my eyeglasses up and mysteriously winked at him.

“Stop stop stop…I'm not listening. You can save your breath. I don't wanna hear the rumors people are spreading. Why, why do people go… out of there way to try to bring us down. They wanna know about us!” My voice sang over the speaker. I lyp-sang to the words and moved my body around the car. The tricky part was about to begin.

I turned towards the front and raised my hands up in the air. I shimmied my hips from left to right, and back to front. I laid the palms of my hands on the back of the driver’s chair and lifted my body up; for the first time that afternoon, I easily fell right into the driver’s seat and turned on the car. As called for, I pulled my sunglasses off and blew a kiss to the paparazzi before the engine revved and I pretended to drive down the street. They actually wouldn’t really let me drive the car. Fucking bastards.

“Cut! You finally got it down!” Francis grinned proudly. “You see Leila, when you focus, you really can accomplish things.”

Again I was forced to bite my tongue. I smiled obediently and held in the urge to strangle this man I barely knew. Yeah, that probably wouldn’t be good though. I’d go to jail and all that crazy stuff. Jail was looking like a doable option up until Francis called for a lunch break. I thanked Allah, God, Jesus and Buddah all at the same time.

I hopped out of that car quickly and looked around for Justin. He promised me that he would stick around for the video shooting and now I couldn’t find him. If he disappeared on me I was going to be seriously pissed off. I started walking towards my trailer when Demario stepped in front of me. I nearly jumped a mile back.

“You just scared the shit out of me!” I said with my hand over my heart.

“It happens.” Demario laughed. “So let’s get lunch or something…”

“What makes you think I want to go anywhere with you?” I asked with annoyance. “I mean, you’re probably busy anyway… knocking up girls and then leaving them alone and with child. Being a douche bag is hard work.”

Demario glared at me while I held in my laughter. I really zinged him with that but he fucking deserved it. He could not pretend to be nice to me after being a dick to me through this entire shoot as well as after he hurt my best friend.

Honestly though, I didn’t like this angry person that I was becoming. I was snapping at everyone and constantly having to defend myself or my beliefs. It was becoming tiresome and repeated but it just wouldn’t end and I certainly was not going to stop fighting. I couldn’t sit there and take anyone’s bullshit or smile and pretend that things were okay when they weren’t. My life was changing left and right; I wasn’t sure if it was for the best anymore.

Ugh, what was wrong with me? Of course this was all for the best. I was getting to live out my dream and most importantly I was with Justin. This was all worth it, he was worth it. Damn the fighting and jealousy. For the first time in my life I was happy and the miserable people would not ruin that for me.

“I really don’t know what Justin sees in a cunt like you… oh wait, I do… it’s that you give him cunt whenever he likes,” Demario laughed at me. Yeah, I really didn’t need to stand around and be insulted by the biggest asshole on the fucking planet. Seriously, his ego was so huge; it was going to be a funny day when someone finally deflated it. I hoped that day came soon.

“Oh it’s always wonderful speaking to you, Demario, but I have to go.” I rolled my eyes and turned to walk back to my trailer. His hand came down on my arm and stopped me dead in my tracks. I let out a loud groan before turning around to stare at his mug. “What the fuck do you want from me?!”

“I want to talk to you.”

Something about his tone was very unconvincing. It was like he was forcing himself to ask me these questions. I stared at him for a moment before shaking my head with annoyance. I tugged on my arm, trying to release it from his grasp. It didn’t fucking work. Demario just held onto my arm tighter.

“Unless you’re talking to me about how much of an asshole you’ve been to Adrianna and how sorry you are, I really have nothing to say to you.”

Demario was quiet and I was pretty thankful for that. I mean, I seriously had nothing more to say to the guy. We were cool once upon a time but his current behavior was completely unacceptable. There was no way our friendship could just continue like nothing happened. I mean, it was petty to take sides but in this scenario there was simply no other way. I couldn’t betray my best friend, after all.

“You know what Leila, you need to mind your own fucking business and you need to stop running ya mouth about shit you don’t even know about.” Demario responded angrily. I swear, if I didn’t stop rolling my eyes, they were just going to turn up in my head and disappear. Ugh.

“Oh trust me Demario, I know plenty,” I jabbed my index finger into his hard chest. “I know that you’re immature and not man enough to admit that you have a child on the way. I also know that you won’t take care of this baby or the mother of your child because you’re too used to being single. Let me just say that you are a sorry excuse for a human being and I hope you fucking get yours.”

The anger was almost radiating off of us. Crew members were staring at us from afar and honestly, I didn’t give a shit if they heard what I had to say. I think I actually wanted them to hear. Maybe that would be the kick in the ass that got Demario to wake up and finally act like a man. I mean, he was man enough to help get Adrianna into this situation; he should have been man enough to be by her side and bail her out.

Ugh, sometimes it just seems like there is absolutely no hope for the male population. 

“You better quiet the fuck down,” Demario said threateningly. I just laughed at him and crossed my arms over my chest.

“Or what? You’re gonna hit me?”

“I just might.”

The words of the man before me made me take a step back. I wasn’t sure how serious Demario was about smacking me but I wasn’t about to test him. He just needed to leave me alone and stop bugging me. I didn’t want to be friends with him anymore; not when he left my friend high and dry and certainly not when he might hit me.

“Alright De… can you just back the fuck off already? We clearly aren’t each others number one fans so why are you up my ass right now?” God, all I wanted to do was fall into Justin’s arms and take a nice little nap with him. Demario was seriously taking up my fucking break with his annoyingness.

“Excuse me for wanting to bury the hatchet.”

“I’m not the one you need to bury the hatchet with,” I retorted snottily. “You know that Adrianna is carrying your child. Why are you denying it?”

“There is no proof that she’s having my kid. Let’s be serious right now, I barely know the girl. We were just fucking.  She should have kept track of the men she was fucking with because I know I wore a rubber.”

Oh my God. He was absolutely disgusting! I clenched my hand into a fist and pulled my arm back and slugged him in the face. Yeah, after I did that I ran as far away as I could because of obvious reasons. I certainly didn’t want a bruise on my face to match his.

“Don’t talk about Adrianna like that you asshole!” I screamed out as I looked back at Demario. He was just standing there and staring at me with a look of utter shock. Yep, I was pretty shocked at myself for pulling that too.

As I was running forward, I quickly collided into a hard body. I stumbled in my tracks trying to catch my balance. I looked up as I was about to speak a rushed apology. My mouth turned up in a smile when I saw that Justin was standing in front of me. He was smiling brilliantly, though looking a bit confused at the same time. His perfectly white smile was almost blinding. God, every time I looked at him, my stomach fluttered around aimlessly. I could never get over the fact that this beautiful man was all mine.

I smiled up at him and touched his slightly rugged face. His hand immediately came down on top of mine and I exhaled happily. Touching him was like checking that he was real. He may have fucked up before but he was still absolutely perfect to me because he had tried so hard to change for the better. Everything about him was what I had always dreamed about in a man. He was strong yet sensitive, handsome yet beautiful at the same time. I laid in bed with him sometimes, just wondering if it was possible if he was truly made for me.

I hopelessly loved him… and I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep that a secret for much longer. Soon I was going to want to shout it from the rooftops. Soon I was going to want to hear the same words come from his lips.

“What was all that?”

“Me and Demario have issues,” I said and shrugged my shoulders. “You know… the usual.”

Justin’s lips turned up in a slight frown, “Baby… he’s my best friend. Can’t you at least pretend to be nice?”

“He wasn’t that nice to me today,” I crossed my arms over my chest and huffed. An eye for an eye would leave the world blind. I could try and be phony for a while. Sure I wouldn’t be all that happy about doing so but I just wanted to try and make Justin happy. He had done so much for me… and gah! I was becoming one of those sappy girls that falls head over heels. I used to laugh at girls like that and here I was today, one of them.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Just try baby?”

“You know I will…” I wrapped my arms around his neck and happily laid my head on his warm chest. He kissed the top of my head and I smiled. I was getting too used to this type of affection. If we ever broke up, it would be like going through a horrible type of with drawl. “Where were you earlier? I thought you said you wanted to watch the video shoot.”

“I went to see your brother.”

I was in the middle of placing a kiss on Justin’s chest when the confession reached my ears. I slowly looked up at Justin with a puzzled look on my face. He had promised to wait for me when he went to go talk to Aiden. I could only imagine how this went down. The sad look on Justin’s face was giving me a good idea about the outcome. I stepped back from him and crossed my arms over my chest.

“And?”

“He doesn’t believe me… and on top of that… fucking Callie is doing this to black mail me because she wants me to leave you and get with her,” He ran a hand over his newly buzzed head and exhaled deeply. I stood watching him unsure what to do and say. “I keep replaying it back in my head and I wish I would have offered the bitch money or something… maybe then she’d just back the fuck off.”

I didn’t know how to respond to any of this. I placed my forehead in the palm of my hand and sighed. Justin took the liberty to rub my back gently. His fingertips rubbed my skin in a circular pattern, one he often did to put me to sleep at night. I looked up at him finally, my eyes filled with sadness and worry. What were we going to do? How could we get through this?

I mean, fuck, I just wanted my family to accept my boyfriend. Why was that so hard and unattainable for me? Justin and I were just a normal and goofy couple. Why did we have to have such ridiculous drama follow us around? I looked down sadly. I felt like I was at a complete loss. I didn’t know what to do about this horrible situation and I wasn’t sure Justin really knew what to do either.

“We’re going to work through this Lei… I promise,” He whispered in my ear comfortingly. “Let Callie do whatever she wants, I’m not falling into her trap. What me and you need to do is continue to be happy together so we can prove to everyone that we’re not about to listen to any of their bullshit demands.”

Maybe he was right… if we continued to worry about this situation, we fed into it and gave it more power. We couldn’t let this rule or destroy us. I stood back and looked into the dark blue eyes of my boyfriend and smiled. I was sure that he wasn’t going anywhere. He must have really cared for me to sit back and risk his career for me.

Maybe soon enough, I would hear those three beautiful words from him. I could only hope.