December

 

Chris adjusted his tie in the mirror. Another event that required a monkey suit. Another night spent sitting in the dark, watching people he knew be acknowledged for how famous and productive they were. They were up for six awards themselves. Chris expected to win at least two of the six, since the other four had them up against the Backstreet Boys. With the awards being fan-voted, it was too close for any of them to be sure who would get those ones.

 

“I love you, will you marry me?” He asked his reflection. He shook his head. There were better ways of phrasing that. It had points for spontaneity, but lacked sincerity. And if they didn't know how he felt, a fifty out of ten on shock value.

 

“Didn't know you felt that way, Lucky,” a deep southern voice replied from the doorway. Chris jumped what felt a mile. “I'll have to think about it.”

 

“Lance! You scared the crap out of me,” Chris turned to face the younger man. “And it wasn't for you.”

 

Lance put a hand over his heart and faked looking hurt. “Now that hurts, Chris. Get my hopes up like that, then shatter them like they were nothing.” He moved to stand in front of the mirror, adjusting his own tie and pick at his spiky hair.

 

“You're stupid.”

 

“Who's the lucky girl to be getting that rather lackluster question?”

 

“No one, I was trying out a line from this script someone gave me.” He glared at his band mate. Chris saw Lance's reflection raise it's eyebrows.

 

“The one I gave you?”

 

“Maybe.”

 

“There was no proposal in that one. It's just a comedy.”

 

“There should be. It needs a sucky, ill-timed proposal in the middle of the climax. Shock the characters. Have one of the lesser parts be in love with one of the leads and nobody knows it. And then have the asker of that question to be revealed to be an alien from the planet Beta Rigel Five. And the wedding has to take place within a day and involves some gooey stuff that looks like spaghetti and jello mixed together.” He hadn't read the script but figured that that would make whatever it was better. Lance handed them all rather stupid scripts all the time, hoping they'd do one together, the five of them the lead characters.

 

“Whatever.”

 

 “Seriously, dude. Can you see me getting married?”

 

“Honestly?” Lance studied him in the mirror. “Not really. You'd have to find someone willing to put up with living with a five year old in their boyfriend's body. “

 

“Exactly.” He picked up the mouthwash, taking a swig right from the bottle, ignoring Lance's horrified expression.

 

“That's disgusting,” Lance frowned. Chris just grinned evilly and spat the liquid into the sink.

 

“Minty fresh,” he declared, exhaling into Lance's face. The younger man rolled his eyes as Chris left the bathroom to wait for their ride.

 

February

The wrapping paper he had used was gaudy, covered in bright red and pink hearts. But it was the only one they had enough of to wrap the box Chris needed to wrap. He had gotten up really early, pulling the refrigerator box with him as he left his hotel room. He stopped seemingly randomly down the hall, directly across from the door of another room. He found the side with the card taped to it, making sure that side faced the door before slipping the box over his head.

 

Now to wait.

 

Chris had started to doze off when a few hours later he heard the door across from him open. Finally, He fumbled in his pocket for the white gold band studded with one single blue stone he had tucked in there. He almost had it out when the box lifted above him.

 

And Joey's face greeted him.

 

“Wha?” Chris asked. Joey frowned a bit.

 

“I think I'll have to take this gift back, I don't want it for a lifetime,” he joked before grinning.

 

“Wha?” Chris repeated. He shoved the ring far down into his pocket again. This was not going to plan.

 

“You okay, man?” Joey asked. His grin softened and he looked concerned for his older friend.

 

“Y-yeah,” Chris mumbled. His turn to frown.

 

“What's up?” Joey asked.

 

“Wrong room,” Chris mumbled. He glanced down the hall, counting the doors to his room. Three. This should have been the right room. He had counted the doors when they got in last night. As he watched, a door farther down the hall opened. Wrong direction, Chris realized as someone emerged. He turned to face Joey again.

 

“Oh,” Joey replied. “Oh,” he said again when he saw who Chris was looking at. He looked at Chris again.

 

“Congratulations?” he asked a bit uncertainly. “Or Good Luck, whatever I'm supposed to say.”

 

“Yeah,” Chris mumbled, watching the approaching figure out of the corner of his eye like he always did.

 

Joey was interrupted as the door next to them opened and Lance came out of it.

 

“Morning,” he greeted everyone. “Wes here yet?”

 

“No,” Joey replied. “Just the four of us so far.”

 

“Where's Diva Spazzina?” Lance asked. He looked curious as to what was going on with Joey and Chris, having noticed the discarded heart-wrapped box to the side.

 

“Where do you think he is?” Chris responded.

 

“Touche. What's up with you guys?”

 

“Nothing,” Joey responded.

 

“What's the box for?”

 

“What box?” Joey asked. Chris shot him a grateful glance. He could almost kiss Joey.

 

“The rather loud-wrapped one behind you on the floor.”

 

“I was making a robot, and needed Joey's help to mark the armholes so we could cut them out.”

 

Lance looked like he didn't believe them. “A robot?”

 

“Yeah, we were going to knock on C's door until he got up and then pretend to be a Love Bot. That boy needs to get some.” Chris rambled. He was grateful that his ability to lie had returned.

 

Lance was saved from responding by the elevator door dinging and Wes stepping out into the hall.

 

“Time to go, boys. The bus is waiting.” He announced. They started moving obediently towards their security guard, Lance stopping outside the door of their missing band mate and pounding on it until he emerged half-asleep but at least fully dressed this time.

 

 

 

March

 

'Trust JC to throw a party for the anniversary of an album release,' Chris thought as he poured champagne into four flutes. Joey was on his way to Orlando, they had gotten a call yesterday that Kelly was in labor. So what started as a celebration of No Strings Attached's release anniversary had also become one for Brihana Joely Fatone's birth.

 

He glanced back at the other three guys lounging on the beds in JC's room. He had mangled the largest room of the five so that he could 'host' this party. Chris bit his lip, pondering if he was going to do it. He pulled the ring out of his pocket and slipped it into one of the flutes of bubbly. After placing strawberries in each glass, he took the small tray out to the guys.

 

He stood in the middle of the two beds and his band mates selected glasses. Once empty, the tray was tossed down onto the floor up against the wall out of the way. In the flurry of movement, he had lost track of which glass had the ring in it. To his horror, he spotted it in JC's glass. The eldest member jumped up from where he had just sat down on the bed next to Justin.

 

“JC, I forgot something, would you help me get it ready in the kitchen?” The request came tumbling out of his mouth. The three looked at him surprised.

 

“Why me?” JC asked.

 

“'Cause it's YOUR room,” Chris replied. He stalked back to the kitchenette, hoping his friend would follow.

 

“What's up?” JC asked once they were in the slightly secluded section. Chris plucked the glass out of JC's hand and stuck his finger into the cold liquid.

 

“Hey!” JC protested. “Gross, man.”

 

Chris ignored him, pulling the ring out of the liquid. He handed the glass back to JC, relief washing over him.

 

“Is that...” comprehension dawned on JC's face. “You're going to....oh man, wowee.”

 

“Shut up,” Chris muttered. He ran the ring under some water to rinse the alcohol off.

 

“No man, it's great,” JC replied as he refilled his glass, having dumped it out while Chris dried the ring off. “Can I see it?” Chris reluctantly handed the ring over, letting JC get a good look at it. “Good choice, very masculine,” he appraised. “He's going to love it.”

 

“You think?” Chris asked. JC nodded, handing the ring back. Chris slipped it back into his pocket. “I hope so. If it ever happens,” he muttered.

 

“Just do it, he'll say yes.”

 

“I want it to be perfect. He deserves perfect. He is perfect.”

 

JC snorted. “He is far from perfect. You just don't see it because he's perfect for you.” Chris rolled his eyes. The younger man sounded like one of the love songs he was always writing.

 

“What do you think I should do? Light a bunch of candles and start singing that new one you wrote about being the only one around in a room full of people?”

 

“Not unless that's what you want to do,” JC replied. “Just be yourself. You've been yourself for what, five years now? I think he knows you inside out by now.”

 

“He knows me better than I do.” Chris patted his pocket. “Thanks for not freaking on me,” he added. “Keep it on the down low?”

 

“Of course,” JC grinned.

 

 

May

 

 

“Shel?” Chris asked. His best friend was stretched out on the bed next to him. They had spent the afternoon hanging out, playing video games and drinking. Now it was late and she was too tired to drive herself home so she had crawled into bed with Chris, like they had done as kids.

 

“Yeah?” Shelby asked. She kept her eyes closed, preferring the comforting darkness of her eyelids to that of the empty darkness of the bedroom.

 

“I want to get married,” Chris whispered.

 

“What?” Shelby opened her eyes, turning her head to face Chris'.

 

“I love him.”

 

“Whoa,” she whispered. The bedside light turned on, she rolled onto her side. “Seriously?”

 

“Yeah.” He blinked up at the ceiling. “Am I crazy?”

 

“No. Well, maybe. How many people even know you're together?”

 

“Trace, JC, Joey. You. Maybe Lynn.”

 

“You realize you two get engaged, more people are going to know.”

 

“I'm okay with that. Shel, I want to shout it into the microphone sometimes, when all the fans are screaming his name, screaming when he just moves. I want to laugh and tell them all they have no chance at all. He's mine.” He propped his head up on his hand, facing her.

 

“Wow,” Shelby breathed.

 

“I know it can't be a legal thing, but I want to let him know I'm in it for life.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I just can't seem to get it right.”

 

“The proposal?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Try it on me. I'll be Justin, you be you.”

 

“I don't know, Shel.”

 

“But Christopher, it'll be for a good cause,” Shelby said in a very girly voice that had a bit of fake southern twang to it. She batted her eyes at the man across the bed from her. Chris stared at her.

 

Seemingly coming to a decision, he shifted, removing the hoop from his left ear. He replaced the back on it, then held it out for his favorite girl to take. She lifted her head, using the hand that had been propped up against the red hair to take the piece of jewelry from him.

 

“What's this for?” She asked, looking at the earring in her palm. She still had that ridiculous fake accent.

 

“Maybe we could, you know, what do you think?” Chris asked, feeling rather stupid.

 

Shelby started laughing. “Okay, anyone that says yes to that has to be out of their mind,” she declared, handing Chris his hoop back.

 

“It was so less awkward the last few times,” he mumbled, replacing his earring.

 

“You've done it already?”

 

“Sort of,” Chris admitted.

 

“What happened?”

 

“Lance thought it was a joke. Joey and JC were pretty cool with it once they figured out what was going on.”

 

“You proposed to the rest of your band?” She looked amused. “Better not let him know he's your fifth choice.”

 

“Ha, ha. Funny. I didn't mean it.”

 

“Figured as much. What'd you do?”

 

“Lance walked in on me in the bathroom. I thought I was alone and it just popped out of my mouth.”

 

Shelby nodded, urging him to continue.

 

“Joey's time was a mistake. I wrapped a box with wrapping paper and stood outside what I thought was Justin's room on Valentine's Day. Turns out I went the wrong way down the hall and got Joey instead. I had the ring ready and everything.”

 

“You have a ring?” Shelby sat up. “You've had one for months?”

 

“Yeah, I keep it in my pocket even. In case the right moment comes up. I want it to be perfect.”

 

“Can I see it?” she asked. Chris gestured to the dresser, where among some cologne bottles sat a small gray ring box. Shelby got out of the bed, crossing to the taller piece of furniture in a few steps. She opened the box, examining the ring. “A blue stone?”

 

“Matches his eyes,” Chris laid back onto the pillow again, watching her. She placed the ring back on the dresser.

 

“I can't believe it,” she said, climbing back into the bed and snuggling up against him. He put his arm around her out of habit. “You're going to get engaged.” She poked him in the side. “The world must surely be coming to an end. I always thought I'd be old with grand kids before you settled down.”

 

“He's everything I want.”

 

Shelby yawned. “He better be. We can work on a battle plan in the morning.” She reached over and switched the light back off. Chris kissed the top of her head, grateful to have her in his life.

 

 

July

 

Sunday

Justin frowned at the knock on the door. Nobody could get on their floor and he hadn't ordered anything. Figuring it was probably Lonnie or Wes or someone to tell him about a schedule change, he answered it.

 

“Someone delivered these to my room, I think it's for you,” Lance said, holding out a small note and a single red rose.

 

“Uh, thanks,” Justin replied, taking the items from his friend.

 

“No problem,” Lance assured him he turned to walk back to his own room.

 

Justin stared at the items a long moment after shutting the door. Finally he put the rose down on the top of the television and opened the note.  The way you play up your sex appeal on stage.

 

He frowned again at the simple typeface on the note. He looked again at the rose. I hope it's not some crazy fan that got the floor number correctly, he wondered. He placed the note next to the rose and went back to reading the paper.

 

 

Monday

He was almost dressed and packed when the knock came on the door.

 

“Just a minute!” he called out. He slipped his shoes on, going to the door as another knock came, more insistent this time.

 

“I need a few more, I'm not done pack-” he let the sentence fall as Joey stood there, holding a rose and a note identical to what Lance had the day before.

 

“I think these are for you,” Joey greeted him. He held out the items for Justin to take. “And we've got like, an hour before check out time.” After Justin had taken the items, he returned to his room.

 

Justin stared again at the note and rose. He placed the rose down next to the first one and opened the note. The way you smile when no one else is around.

 

“Okay,” Justin drew out slowly. “Who is this?” The empty room didn't reply farther than a commercial on the TV trying to sell him a new car. He placed the note next to the other one and returned to gathering his things and putting them into his bag.

 

The last thing to be put into the bag was the notes. He would have been teased eternally if he had brought the roses with him. They may have been from a crazed fan, but they were sweet and he secretly liked them.

 

Tuesday

In a city a thousand miles from the last, he was surprised to hear a knock on the door. This time upon opening, it was JC standing there with the note and rose.

 

“Someone's got a secret admirer,” his friend joked, eyes twinkling.

 

“A stalker,” Justin corrected, taking the rose and note. Twice in the same hotel he could dismiss as a fan, but five states away? Who could know just enough to know what floor of which hotel in the entire city he was in, but keep getting the room number wrong? He opened the note. The victory dance you do when you score in Madden.

 

It had to be somebody on tour. The last two had been things the fans couldn't know. He immediately thought of Chris. But the roses and notes were not his boyfriend's style. Had someone figured out Justin’s inclination and was hoping to capitalize on it?

 

He put the note with the others and the rose on the table. He didn't have time to think about it today.

 

 

Wednesday

He almost expected the knock this time. He opened it, half expecting it to be Chris, as the pattern seemed to be going. Instead he had Wade.

 

“Thanks,” Justin replied, taking the two things from his friend and shut the door.  The way you interact with kids.

 

Justin smiled at that one. He looked at the rose in his hand, thinking. Maybe he knew who was sending these. Perhaps he knew all along. But why?

 

Thursday

Their one day off that week, the knock came way to early.

 

“Go away,” Justin grumbled into his pillow. The knock didn't go away, but got more insistent instead. With a grunt, Justin got out of bed, leaving Chris to continue sleeping next to him. He threw on last night's jeans from where they had been discarded next to the bed.

 

“What,” he barked, throwing open the door.

 

“Delivery for a Mr. Timberlake,” the room service agent greeted him. He was holding a tray with just a single rose and note.

 

“That's me,” Justin replied. He took the gifts from the tray, slipped the man a five from his pocket and shut the door.

 

The way you bring out the best in me.

 

He grinned at the note, sure now that he knew who was sending them.

 

 

Friday

There was no knock that morning before checkout. Justin spent the six hour bus ride to the next hotel a bit down. It was silly, but he had gotten used to looking forward to the little notes about all the things he was sure Chris was sending about him. He read through the five he had gotten so far, imagining Chris sitting in his room, coming up with these notes. He smiled, watching as his boyfriend played a game against the computer.

 

“Tricky,” Justin said quietly to get his attention. Chris paused the game and looked up at him just in time for Justin's lips to meet his. The kiss was a tender one, more innocent than sexual. Chris' goatee scratched at Justin's chin, tickling him. Justin's hand snaked to the back of Chris' head, grasping at the short hair back there.

 

When they broke contact, they gazed at each other, both conveying an entire conversation without a word. Justin settled in next to Chris, leaning on his shoulder to watch him finish his Steelers vs. Ravens game.

 

He was mildly surprised to find a rose and note on his bed when they reached the new hotel. He picked up the note, wondering how Chris managed this one. The way you look when you wake up in the morning.

 

Reasons why he loved Chris were on his mind as he fell asleep that night.

 

 

Saturday

The knock came right before they left for sound check. Justin was grinning as he opened the door. Lance this time. Rose and note in hand.

 

“Time to go,” he greeted. “And these are for you.”

 

“Thanks man, I'll be just a minute.” Justin answered, moving away from the door to open the note. The face you make as you come.

 

Justin felt himself blush as he quickly shoved the note into the pocket of his bag. He wished Chris would acknowledge the notes. There was no doubt in his mind now it was him. He grabbed the stuff he needed for the venue and followed Lance out the room.

 

Sunday

They barely had time at the hotel, with a radio show in the morning, then lunch, then a few precious hours for a nap or whatever at the hotel before sound check party and then the show.

 

Ten minutes after arriving at the hotel, the knock Justin was expecting came.

 

“Delivery,” JC intoned in a sing-song voice.

 

“Do you know why he's doing this?” Justin asked.

 

“Who?” JC asked innocently.

 

“Chris, duh.”

 

“No clue, lover boy.” JC smiled as he left, leaving Justin to read the note. The way you watch when you think nobody notices.

 

“What are you doing, Chris?” he muttered to the empty room.

 

 

Monday

They arrived at the hotel in the very early hours of the morning. They had time to put their stuff in their rooms and take a shower before they had to leave, an all-too-early appearance on the local news was scheduled.

 

Justin was surprised that this was when the next note arrived.

 

“Here,” Joey yawned. He held out the now normal red rose and note. As soon as Justin had them he shuffled off to his room.

 

Justin let the towel that was around his waist drop as he opened the note.

 

The way you love me.

 

The note got placed with the other eight, and weighed heavily on his mind as he got dressed.

 

 

Tuesday

The big day, finally. A year's hard work finally come to a head as Celebrity was released. It was weird, not partying it up this time. They had the morning free, and naturally they gathered together in Joey's room.

 

Chris was the last to arrive, surprisingly. JC was closest so got the door when Chris knocked. He walked in, carrying a rose and note exactly like the last nine. He crossed to where Justin was sitting on the large bed.

 

“For you,” Chris said by way of greeting him. He handed him the flower and note.

 

“What has all this been for?” Justin asked him quietly.

 

“Just read it,” Chris said softly. Justin placed the long stemmed flower next to him and opened the note.

 

The way you said yes.

 Justin's eyes widened and immediately flew up to find Chris, whom had gotten down on one knee and pulled a ring box out of somewhere.

 

“Will you marry me?” Chris' dark eyes were soft, shining with emotion as he watched Justin's face.

 

“Yes,” the single syllable was barely audible, but the room had gone silent enough you could hear a pin drop onto carpet.

 

The two lovers burst into smiles, Chris moving to pull the ring out of the box. Their band mates started clapping and whistling, breaking the spell a little.

 

“I love you,” Justin whispered once the ring was in place and Chris' face was near his.

 

“I love you too,” Chris breathed. Their lips met, sealing the deal.

 

 

October 2004

 

Chris paced the hall outside the bride's dressing room. Justin was taking forever to get ready. He stopped, knocking on the door as he passed it again.

 

“We're going to be late!” he called through the door.

 

“Relax,” Shelby said from where she was standing, leaning against the wall a few feet away. “Nothing will go wrong.”

 

“I can't believe I let him talk me into this,” Chris muttered as he resumed his pacing.

 

“Why did that even have to happen? You're the one that proposed, before it was even legal here.”

 

“I know. I never thought we'd actually run off to Canada to have a ceremony.”

 

“He wants you to know he's in it for life.” She pushed off from the wall, grabbing his hand as he turned in front of her. “Something I remember you saying one night, confessing that you wanted to get married.”

 

He looked at his best friend. She tugged his hand, pulling him off balance as she hugged him. Behind them the door opened and Justin emerged, followed by Trace. Shelby let go of Chris. She fixed the rose in his lapel that had gotten jostled in the moment.

 

“Ready?” She asked. Chris had gone strangely mute as he stared at his fiancee.

 

“Yep,” Justin answered. The group moved to stand at the doors outside the room where all of Chris and Justin's family and closest friends were seated.

 

The soft music started once Shelby and Trace were framed in the doorway. They made their way down to stand on either side of the registrar. Not only were they the best man and maid of honor, they were serving as the legal witnesses.

 

Everyone turned to watch as Chris and Justin took their places where Trace and Shelby had started. Justin looked at his beloved, smile fading just a fraction when he saw how nervous he was. Instinctively he reached down, taking the older man's hand. Chris relaxed a little, glancing over at Justin. Justin's nod was nearly imperceptible, but gave him the strength he needed to start walking down the aisle.

 

The walk was a short one, the chapel they had chosen was small and intimate. Half the lights were turned off, and dozens of candles gleamed from just about every surface available. On their request, the only flowers were a large bouquet of red roses set behind the alter and the white roses in the grooms' lapels.

 

When they reached the registrar, they turned to face each other, never letting go of the others hand.

 

“We are gathered here today to witness the union of Chris and Justin. If there is anyone here that has just cause why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace,” the middle aged woman paused to give people the chance to speak up. The only sound was sniffling from Lynn, sitting right on the edge of the aisle on the traditional bride's side with a tissue in her hand.

 

“Traditionally we offer a few words on what a marriage is, but Chris and Justin have asked to omit this. Instead, they have prepared a video to show.” The registrar nodded to someone at the back of the room and above her head.

 

A slide show of photos of the couple appeared on the white wall behind the altar. Miles Davis started playing softly to accompany the photos, from the first photo their moms had of them to red carpet photos from the last movie Justin had done. Their family awed at some of the more private ones they had included. Eventually the wall went blank and the ceremony continued.

 

“Chris and Justin have chosen to write their own vows. Chris?”

 

Chris took a deep breath to steady his nerves. “Justin, when we first met you were just a kid. We hit it off, probably because I acted your age. It took a few years, but we evolved into something more, something better. I love you, man. That will never change. We could be old and gray and broke and I'll still love you.” Chris returned Justin's smile as he finished.

 

“When I think about how long we've been together, I'm shocked to realize we've only known each other for a decade. I can't remember my life without you in it. I think the day I met you was the day I really started living. Loving you is as natural as breathing, and I couldn't be without either one. I love you with everything I am, something I learned from you.” He smiled sweetly, watching Chris blink rapidly, trying to clear his slightly teary eyes.

 

“And now the rings,” the registrar announced. The grooms finally broke hand contact as their best friends handed the rings to each of them.

 

“Chris, repeat after me as you place the ring on Justin's left finger.” She instructed. Justin offered up his hand and Chris took it, sliding the ring half-way on.

 

“With this ring, I, Christopher Alan Kirkpatrick, do take thee, Justin Randall Timberlake to be my lawfully wedded husband. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.” Chris repeated, sliding the ring right up against the engagement band already resting on the finger.

 

“With this ring, I, Justin Randall Timberlake, do take thee, Christopher Alan Kirkpatrick to be my lawfully wedded husband. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.” Justin repeated as he slid the matching ring onto Chris' finger.

 

“By the power invested in me by the provenance of Ontario, I pronounce you lawfully married. You may now kiss the groom.” The registrar lowered the binder she had been reading out of as the two men shared their first married kiss.

 

“I love you, Mr. Kirkpatrick-Timberlake,” Justin whispered as they parted. Chris's smile was almost larger than his face.

 

“I love you too, husband,” he whispered back before kissing him again.