Alexia 

JC 

Hey, you have reached JC; I’m not available at the moment, so please leave a message:

“Hey Josh it’s me, Lexie. Again. Call me when you can. Whatever, ‘bye.” It was 11 pm on a Friday night, and she was home alone, for the fourth night in a row, curled up on the couch watching movies on Oxygen, while having a total carb-fest. She knew that she should be used to it by now, but that didn’t make the situation suck any less. For the past six months, it seems as if she’s been seeing less and less of her fiancé and spending more time by herself. Alone, in this big ass house, that felt just a bit creepy at night. Even though the centuries old French Chateau had been modernized through a series of renovations, she still felt as if it had left behind the eerie essence of its past inhabitants.

She felt as if at any moment she would hear the faintest sounds of Charlotte Hollis whispering, “Get off of my property.”  Yeah so, they were in present-day Los Angeles, but still, the place was kind of creepy to say the very least. There were still rooms in certain wings of the house that she hadn’t even been in yet. She often wondered if the rumors were true about certain rituals going down in the basement amongst 1950’s and ‘60’s Hollywood Elite. The very thought chilled her to the bone. It was thoughts like this that consumed her mind when she was alone and her active imagination seemed to always get the best of her, but being a Publicist in Hollywood, she’s seen way more things go down than she’d care to admit.

Suddenly, the phone rang, breaking her from her reverie. Startled, she almost spilled her glass of grape juice. At least she’d finally get to hear him, now she wouldn’t feel so alone. “Hello?”

“Alexia.”

“Oh, it’s you,” she replied, at the sudden realization that it was just Shelley.

“Wow, you don’t have to sound so excited,” she replied flatly.

“Sorry, I just thought you were Josh.”

“Late night again?”

“Yeah, the usual.” Alexia knew that it was pretty bad if she was an engaged woman, and being home alone was considered the usual. That was already a bad sign.

“Well, you know you could always come out,” Shelley suggested.

“I know I could, but I’ve really been trying to get used to this place. It’s Christmastime Shells, and I want it to feel like home.”

“Girl, you and JC have lived in that place for almost a year, what do you mean get used to it?”

“I don’t know Shell,” Alexia sighed. “I guess I just feel like a stranger in my own home. I’ve been trying my best to make it feel homier, but it’s really hard when the only input that my fiancé has had was turning that dungeon of a basement into a recording studio. And then, it seems like when he’s not down there, then he’s out at a recording studio. Or at a meeting, or with the girls, or with Jimmy or whoever else. Some nights he’s out working until midnight, or even three in the morning. It’s like he’s forgotten that we even have a wedding to plan.”

“Aw Lexie, I’m sure that’s not true. You know more than anybody how much of a workaholic JC is, even more so than you.”

Alexia laughed at how crazy it seemed that she happened to meet someone who loved what they did just as much as she did, it was one of the first things that they had connected over. “Yeah that is true, but sometimes I feel like with my job, I can just leave everything at the office, but his career is a lot different; late nights, crazy hours, an unpredictable schedule… “

“Well hey, you’ve got yourself an artist!”

“And the crazy thing is, I thought that when the group went their separate ways that his life would be a little less… hectic, or I don’t know chaotic for lack of a better word, I guess. But sometimes I feel as if nothing’s changed.”

“Well, you guys have been together a while, Lex.”

“Twelve years.”

“Which is why you guys have to make it work. Figure something out. Make time for each other. Get back to where you used to be, and remember what it was that made you guys fall so hard for each other.”

“You’re right Shell, we do need to get back to that. I remember how he used to make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world!” Alexia said, smiling to herself, remembering how it felt to be twenty-five and completely swept off her feet by JC.

“Once you guys work through this rough patch I’m sure you guy’ll be fine,” Shelley assured her.

“I know, I just don’t know if he’ll have enough time in his busy schedule to work things out,” Juliana joked, although it had sounded a bit more bitter than she had intended for it too. “Speaking of the Devil, hear he is now,” she said as she saw the headlights of his silver Lexus Coupe pull into the circular driveway.

“Well I’ll let you go. Let me know how things go.”

“Sure, I’ll talk to you tomorrow, ‘bye,” Alexia said before hitting the end button on the cordless phone, and tossing it on the cushion next to her. Butterflies swirled in the pit of her stomach, in anticipation of the oncoming confrontation. She hated fighting. No, she would not pick a fight; she would simply speak her mind for once.

“Hey Babe,” JC said, upon entering the door, dropping his laptop bag down by the coat closet. “How was your day?”

“Uhm, fine. Your’s?”

“Great!” He smiled. “The girls are gonna be on Lance’s radio show again to promote their Christmas song.”

“That’s great Honey,” Alexia replied.  It’s not that she wasn’t happy for him. She was thrilled. Ever since he had formed Girl Radical, the eleven member all girl pop group, he’d seemed to change for the better. She hadn’t seen him so excited about a project in almost ten years, and the girls were really sweet. It’s just that she felt like she was coming in twelfth place in his life, and she didn’t quite know what to do about it. She didn’t want to take away his happiness or rain on his parade, but she just wished that there was some type of balance.

“So, what’d you make?” He was now sitting down next to her.

Really? She hadn’t seen him all day, and he wanted to know what she’d made for dinner? “Your favorite, Chicken Alfredo.”

“Great, I’m starving” he said, getting up from the couch, and heading into the kitchen, leaving Alexia by herself.

“Hey Josh,” Alexia called, following him into the kitchen.

“Yeah?” He turned to her, after turning on the stove to heat the pot of chicken and pasta.

“Baby, I think we should talk.”

“About?”

“Us,” Alexia replied, sitting down on a stool at the island.

“Us?” JC repeated. “What about us?”

“I just, I umm…” she stammered. “Josh, this is the fourth night in a row you’ve been home late.” She finally said.

“Okay,” he said slowly, wondering where this was going. Was she upset with him? Were they in a fight? He figured he’d better tread lightly.

“And I mean, I don’t know how to say this exactly, but I think your working too much.”

“Wait, what?!” JC exclaimed.

Shit. She’d said the wrong thing. “I just, I mean-“

“I can’t believe that’s coming from you,” JC interjected, with a hint of annoyance in his tone.

“Are you implying something?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact I am,” JC replied.

“Oh, and what’s that?”

“That you’re the female Ryan Seacrest!”

“Oh, you did not just call me Ryan Seacrest,” Alexia scoffed.

“You have an elliptical in your office so that you won’t miss a workout between conference calls and event planning,” JC pointed out.

Okay, that was true. “I mean, well I uh-“

“You’re being a bit hypocritical do you think?”

“Oh, so now I’m a hypocrite?” She asked, incredulously.

“Pretty much yeah,” he replied, turning off the stove. “Never have I ever asked you to sacrifice work, which, I know you love so much-“

“I wasn’t asking you to sacrifice work, Josh.”

“You know how much this group means to me,” JC said, lowering his voice.

“Yes, I know,” Alexia replied through gritted teeth.

“And you know how much my music means to me. I’ve always made that clear to you.”

“I know.”

“So right now, my main focus is Girl Radical, and trying to make them happen. Alexia, I need you to understand that,” he said sternly.

Alexia couldn’t believe her ears. Was, was he scolding her? Did he forget that she was his fiancée, and that they had a wedding to plan? Because the princess-cut Cartier that was weighing down her left ring finger was a sure reminder. She didn’t even know what to say to that.

“Understood?”

Nothing. No words, no comeback, nothing was coming to Alexia. Her mind was drawing blanks. This discussion had taken a completely different turn. Did he even understand what she was trying to get through to him? Unbelievable! “Understood,” she finally said, swallowing the huge lump in her throat- along with her pride- and fighting back tears. Without another word, she quickly got up from her seat at the island, and made her way up the stairs, like the child that JC had made her feel like.

After Alexia had locked herself in their bedroom, she’d given herself time to reflect on the conversation that she had just had with JC. Seeing as he would most likely hole himself up in the recording studio all night, she had all the time in the world to herself. She couldn’t believe how their discussion had managed to take a turn for the worst, and how it turned into an argument over who works the most.

Granted, she did often work extensive hours, but what he didn’t know was that a lot of those extra hours have been spent with a wedding planner, planning the wedding that so far, JC’s had no hand in at all. And if she really did work as much as he said she had, then she would be willing to change that. For him. He was going to be her husband. They were going to be a family, and what he needed to understand was that in order for them to work, he’d have t be willing to give in a little as well.

Curling up on her side of the bed, Alexia had been wracking her brain, desperate to come up with a resolution. They needed to find a balance in their lives if this was going to work, and they needed to do it soon, because some things just couldn’t wait. Rubbing her hand over her stomach, she smiled lightly as a tear rolled down her cheek. “Maybe, you’ll be lucky enough to hold Daddy’s attention.”

A week had gone by since the confrontation, and things between Alexia and JC were… tense. Nothing had been solved and they couldn’t seem to agree on anything. To make matters worse, it seemed as if they didn’t even see each other at all anymore. They were acting like a divorced couple when they weren’t even married yet. Something had to give sooner or later, especially with a baby on the way.

Not yet showing, Alexia was just eight weeks along, and was waiting for the perfect time to tell JC, but things between them were kind of rocky. This was supposed to be the most special time in their lives, and she wanted to share the news with him cuddled up by the fire place, spending quality time together, not throwing it in his face in the middle of an argument. A part of her was also really worried about what his reaction would be to the news. With his really busy schedule was he ready to become a father? Would he take time out, and rebuild his whole life around their child? Did he even want kids? Twelve whole years together, and it was something that they had never discussed, which made her situation with him all the more difficult. Despite all of this, she knew that she shouldn’t stress. It wasn’t good for her or the baby. All she knew was that something had to give. And soon.

“Pack your bags.”

“What?” Alexia looked up from her computer too see JC standing over her, fighting the urge to smile.

“Why?” She asked, looking around their bedroom, from the high vaulted ceiling to the red silk drapes, and then the mahogany floors. “Do we have Termites or something?”

“Haha, very funny. I’m serious. Pack your bags.”

“You still haven’t told me why.” Alexia said, closing down her laptop and swiveling around in her chair to face JC. Why the sudden change in mood, and since when did he have time to pack bags?

“Does the element of surprise really not have any effect on you?”

“Joshua Scott what is going on?”

“Did everything I just said fall on deaf ears?”

“You come in here out of nowhere, in the middle of the day might I add, which is quite rare, and tell me to pack my bags? Do you mind telling me what’s going on?”

“We are going away,” JC declared.

“Come again?”

“You, me, the Poconos. Need I say more?”

“Uh, yeah.”

JC knelt down to Alexia so that he was now eye to eye with her. “Allie, I know I haven’t exactly been the best fiancé’ lately, and things have been tense between us. I know that I can sometimes be a raging workaholic, so I’m willing to work on that. I don’t want to lose you.”

“You mean that?” Alexia was stunned. Here she was stressing over what to do about their current situation, and JC literally shows up out of the blue, taking the initiative. This is what she’s so desperately hoped for.

“Yes,” JC said, running his fingers through her chestnut brown tresses. “You mean the world to me, and I don’t want to let go of you. I think we just need to spend some time together to just sort things out, and to get back to where we used to be.”

“I’d love nothing more,” Alexia replied, her heart swelling with emotion.

“Then get to packing!” JC exclaimed, before kissing her.

“Okay, how long am I packing for?” Alexia asked, walking towards the closet. “Five days? A week?”

“Two weeks,” JC replied.

“Two weeks?” Alexia repeated

“Well, I figured some extensive time away was needed to be able to work everything out. Plus, the change of scenery would do us some good” JC repeated.

“Hmm, Christmas in the Poconos,” Alexia mused. “Real snow for once. Sounds nice, have you told the parents?” In the past six years since they had been living together, JC and Alexia would alternate visiting their families every Christmas. This year was supposed to be JC’s.

“Yeah, they were really cool with it. My mom told me to take all the time we needed. She said that since we were gonna be a family that it was important that we start our own traditions.”

Alexia stopped dead in her tracks. Hopefully that statement hadn’t given too much away. Karen was the only other person who knew that she was pregnant; she had bought the test for her at Thanksgiving. “Um, what else did she say?”

“Have fun.”

“Oh.”  Good.  “So, let’s start packing!”

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 “So, here we are,” JC announced, upon opening the door to the Rustic two story Swiss chalet that would be their dwelling for the next couple of weeks.

“Wow,” Alexia marveled, her eyes bouncing from the tray ceiling to the smooth cherry wood walls and seemingly brand new black leather furniture. The chandelier lights reflected off the coffee table and hardwood floors, and the red Moroccan themed rug in front of the fireplace gave it a homey feel. “So, this is ours?”

“Yeah, well for two weeks anyway,” JC replied setting their suitcases down.

“This… this is amazing!” Alexia exclaimed, exploring more of the house. Walking up the two steps that led to the kitchen, she marveled at the granite countertops and sub-zero refrigerator. Alexia walked over to the sliding glass door, pulled it back and stepped out onto the expansive sundeck overlooking the lake and rows and rows of snow covered oak trees.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” JC said, coming from behind and wrapping his arms around her torso. He was glad that he made the decision to come. They really needed this time to be together and repair things.

“Yeah,” Alexia replied, turning to face JC, and placing a quick kiss on his lips. She smiled brightly, “let’s explore this place a little more, shall we?”

“Mmm, I like the way you think.”

 So far, things had already been different. Making love in the middle of the daytime, in the large master bedroom, with the soothing sounds of Jazz music playing was a far cry from the way things were back home. “That was so good,” Alexia sighed pulling the sheets up over her body, and resting her back against the headboard.

“More like incredible,” JC replied, coming up to lay soft gentle kisses along her jaw line and down her neck. Alexia giggled, as she reveled in the fact that she was in a luxurious vacation home, in a secluded area of the woods alone with her fiancé. This was paradise. “So, are you sure you don’t want any of this wine?” He asked, picking up his glass from the nightstand, and taking a sip.

“I’m sure,” Alexia replied.

 “C’mon Allie, this is a 1937 Chateau Margaux, it’s the finest.”

Alexia smiled. JC had always been such a wine connoisseur. He had been trying to get her to drink since they had gotten there, but if he only knew. “Maybe at dinner,” she replied, pushing off his advances once more. No wine for her tonight, or for the next seven months for that matter. “Speaking of dinner, get dressed, there’s this place just off of Woodland Road that I wanna try,” she said sneaking a kiss in, before getting up from the bed.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Let’s see, I’ll have the Halibut Oreganato,” JC said, giving his order to the waiter. “Allie, what about you?”

Alexia quickly scrolled down the menu once more her mouth watering in the process. The Frutti Di Mare, which consisted of Lobster and Clams, nope. The Salmone Piccante consisted of salmon and spicy shrimp; that was a definite no. “Um, how about the Bistecca Tagliatta?” She finally said, in a perfect Italian accent.

“Coming right up,” the waiter replied, after taking their menus.

“You look so beautiful,” JC said, looking across the table at his beautiful fiancée’.

“Thank you,” Alexia smiled, blushing. This was perfect. Everything was perfect; the soothing ambience of the restaurant, the private room all to themselves, the candlelight. It was almost magical. If there were ever a more perfect time to tell him, it was now. “Josh, Honey, there’s something I have to tell you,” she said, reaching across the table and taking hold of his hand.

“What is it?” JC asked, becoming a bit concerned.

“Well, I’ve been waiting for the perfect moment to tell you, and what seems like a more perfect time than now? I think the moment is right and-“

Alexia was soon cut off, by the shrill ring of a telephone.

“Can you hold that thought for a second, Babe?” JC asked.

“Is… is that your cell phone?” Alexia scoffed.

“Yeah, sorry this will just take a minute,” he said, pulling his phone out of his jacket pocket, and standing up to leave the private room they were in.

“I can’t believe this!” Alexia said out loud after he slammed the door shut behind him. Talk about a moment ruined. A few minutes later, JC came walking back into the room.

“Sorry about that, that was Jimmy,” he explained, sitting back down at the table.

“That was a work call?” Alexia scoffed.

“He just wanted to brief me on what was happening back in LA.”

“You’re taking a work call on our vacation?”

“I can’t believe you’re getting so upset about this,” JC exclaimed, not thinking very much of his actions.

“I can’t even believe you couldn’t even be considerate enough to turn your phone off during dinner!” Alexia replied, raising her voice.

“Alexia, lower your voice,” JC hissed. “We are in a public place.”

“The very reason why we flew some two thousand miles up here was so that it could just be us, and not work coming in between us all the time!”

“Lexie relax,” JC whispered, trying to calm her down. “Are you okay Sweetie, maybe you’re just a little tired-“

“Oh don’t patronize me, Joshua!”

“I wasn’t, I was just-“

“You were just trying to deflect the problem, once again.”

“Oh and what’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that every time I address an issue with you, you completely deflect it, and place the blame on me.”

“Allie, that is not true,” JC replied, growing angrier himself.

“When I brought up the fact that you worked too much, you got offended and totally flipped the script.”

“Did I lie? Do you not work just as hard as I do?”

“Oh, I’m not denying that I’m not passionate about my work, but what you don’t know is that the extra hours I’ve picked up have been planning our wedding, that you have had absolutely zero say in,” she said, holding up her left hand and wiggling her ring finger, emphasizing her engagement ring.

“I… I’m sorry, Lexie, I didn’t think-“

“That’s right, Josh, you didn’t think.”

JC felt like such an ass, because right now, a wedding was the farthest thing from his mind.

“Just take me home Josh,” Alexia said,

“What?”

“Let’s just go back to the house,” she repeated. “I’m not in the mood to be out right now. I just want to go to bed.”

And just like that, they were back to square one.  

The next week had gone by in such a blur. JC had kept taking his phone calls, and Alexia had been busying herself with spa visits, Christmas shopping, and last minute decorating. The least she could do was make it feel like Christmas, even with the mounting tension between her and JC.

“Uh yeah, that would be great if you could book them for that actually. I’ll be back after Christmas. Alright thanks man… ‘Bye!”

As Alexia had just put the finishing touches on the Christmas tree, she’d heard JC walk through the front door, phone pressed to his ear, obviously on a conference call. He had a styrofoam container of food in hand, which irritated her, since she had just made dinner.

“Hey Honey,” he greeted her, kissing her on the cheek. “Wow, the tree looks incredible!”

“You really think so?”

“Yeah, it looks great,” he assured her. “Everything looks great,” he said, taking note of the Christmas lights that she had strung around the windows, the wreath that hung around the door, and cinnamon apple candles that she had lit.

“Thanks, I just really want it to feel like Christmas,” Alexia replied. “Listen Josh, I think we should talk,” she said, walking over to the couch, and taking a seat.

“Yeah, I think we should too,” JC said, joining her.

“I don’t like the way that things have been going between us.”

“Neither do I.”

“I mean, I feel like our purpose for being up here is sort of being defeated in a way, and I feel like nothing’s being solved.”

“And I can’t agree with you more, Allie. All of this fighting has got to stop.”

“Baby, I am so glad we are on the same page,” Alexia said, breathing a major sigh of relief. So far, things were going good. They were definitely on the road to recovery. “And actually, I wanted you to know that when we get back home, I’m taking a leave of absence from work.” Being that Alexia owned her own PR firm, she could afford a little time off, and leave her business in the hands of her very trusted vice president.

“Really?” JC asked, surprised at such a revelation.

“Yes. I’ve come to the conclusion, that nothing’s worth losing you. I love my job, but work will always be there. I just want to take the time needed to work on what we have.”

“Wow Lexie, that’s… that’s really great.”

“And, I know that I’m asking a lot, but I was hoping that maybe you could scale your studio time back a little. I know how much it means to you and how important it is to you, but maybe if you could just work maybe a little less, then-“

“Alexia, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, really I do, but-“

“But what?”

“With everything going the way that it’s going right now with the girl’s, I just don’t know if I can take time off. They’re really gaining momentum, and I can’t slow down now.”

“Well can’t Autumn take over? Or Jimmy?”

“Allie I started this group, I can’t just leave these girls hanging.”

“I’m not asking you to do that, all I’m asking is for you to put a little more focus into our relationship! I don’t understand why with you it’s either your work life or your love life. Why can’t you just find some sort of balance? That’s all I’m asking! I mean, I’m finding a way to build my life around you, because you’re that important to me. I’m turning down clients for you. Important clients!” Alexia yelled.

“Well I never asked you too!” JC snapped.

“God JC, it’s not about that!” She said incredulously. It’s like she just couldn’t make him understand no matter how hard she tried. “I’m tired, okay. I’m so damn tired of fighting with you. I feel like, I’m making all of these sacrifices for you, and you’re making absolutely none!” By now Alexia and JC were standing face to face.

“That’s not fair!” JC replied.

“Oh, I’d say that’s pretty accurate,” Alexia snorted. “Do you want me to just give up, Josh? Is that what you really want? Huh?” She asked, wiping her tears. “Because to tell you the truth, I’m just about there. You’re wearing me thin,” she said before disappearing up the stairs.

Being holed up in the bedroom alone was like déjà vu. She had been in this same scenario so many times before and she was so sick of it. Trying to get through to JC was like beating a dead horse; it was useless. If things kept carrying on like this, then she’d do what it was she swore she’d never do; leave. She couldn’t keep stressing herself out like this. It wasn’t worth it. She’d rather be single and happy than in a relationship and completely miserable like she was right now.

After the thought had sat with her for some time, it seemed a little less scary. Maybe she’d be better off by herself. She’d make a great mom, she was sure of that. So many women raised children by themselves. Hell, her mom did it, so why couldn’t she? She’d manage. And then the thought of her raising her child without JC started to sink in. No, she couldn’t do that. Well, she could, but it didn’t mean that she wanted too. More than anything, she wanted for them to be a family. But then again, if seven months from now, he was gone just as much as he is right now, then she’d be practically raising their baby alone anyway. God, why was this so hard?

Reflecting back on their relationship, sure they’d had some great moments. Some amazing moments, in fact, but JC has always been so career ambitious. That’s what she loved about him, but she didn’t know that that very thing would come in between them. Maybe she was stupid to think that he would ever put her over his career. In fact, she remembered an article she ran across twelve years ago, a few months prior to them actually meeting, where he stated that any girl in his life would have to understand the business he was in, and that she would come second to the group. And when they started dating, and he was one of the biggest stars in the world at the time, she completely understood that. She didn’t even see them lasting that long. Until he kept finding a way to see her somehow. He’d go out of his way to keep in touch with her. She smiled at the thought.

She wasn’t even interested in anything serious, or long term, but he sort of made her fall for him. He was so charming. He went out of his way to impress her, and that’s what she missed about him; that he actually tried. Now it’s like he didn’t even care. She remembered how he used to send her flowers and candy; something he thought was the cheesiest thing in the world, but did it just for her, because he knew she loved it, and he would do anything to put a smile on her face. She loved how he used to sing to her, with that beautiful voice of his, something that he’d never done for any girl, but he’d done it for her.

JC was the type of person that if you asked him where he saw himself in ten years, he’d say, “Ten years older”. He never really planned for the future like most people did. When most people wanted the spouse, the two children, and the white picket fence, JC just wanted to continue to make music. When it came to his love life he was a go with the flow kind of guy. So that’s why when he fell for Alexia, and boy did he fall hard, everyone was saying how Alexia would be the one to change him. She didn’t expect it, though. He was a free spirit, a roamer. Then one year turned into two, and two turned into five, and five into ten. That’s why it surprised her when after eleven years of dating, he got down on one knee last Valentine’s Day and proposed.

He was George Clooney, the eternal bachelor. Never had Alexia thought he’d be the one asking to marry her. Truthfully, she’d decided to accept the fact that she may never get married, if it meant being with him, so him proposing meant the world.

And now here they were; in this weird, strained place. Never had things been so bad between them. Granted, in the last twelve years they’ve had problems before, but they were always able to work them out. So why couldn’t they get through this? That was the question that had been lingering through her mind for the longest, and she couldn’t seem to find the answer. She just need some time to think things through before coming to a definite decision about what she was going to do. She needed just a little space. She needed to get out.

As JC sat on the couch, drinking a beer, he was deep in thought. He was an ass and he knew it. Alexia was the greatest thing that had ever happened to him, and he was just letting everything that they had worked so hard for just slip away. Their relationship was hanging on by a thread, and he knew that if he made just one wrong move, it would all be over. She would be gone. He couldn’t believe that she had stayed as long as she had with the way he had been treating her lately. She was a good woman. A great woman, and she was so good to him. So why was he pushing her away?

Never in his life had he thought that he’d ever have a relationship like the one he’d had with Alexia. Twelve years, and she’d been with him through everything. Through the best times, and even the worst. She had been the shoulder he leaned on after he had gotten dropped by Jive, and his second album had failed to be released. Throughout it all she believed in him. It had been a tough time, and she had stuck it out with him. She’d always been in his corner, no matter what. Alexia was his world, and the last thing he meant to do was let his own insecurities get in the way.

Now that things were changing between them, JC found himself growing distant. Alexia and JC were going to be married. She was going to be his wife, and quite frankly, that thought alone kind of scared the shit out of him. He’d never thought that he’d become a family man. Someone’s husband. He’d be committed to someone, permanently for the rest of his life. He tried to convince himself that nothing would change between them at all, when that was far from true. Alexia was pregnant, he could tell, all of the signs were there. He figured that she was just waiting for the opportune time to tell him, but he seemed to keep ruining the moment.

A baby. That was a major change. If marriage was scary, than a child was absolutely terrifying. Maybe not the actual child, but the responsibility. Logically, he knew he was responsible and financially stable enough to care for a child, but subconsciously, he was afraid of turning into his father; his biological father, who had skipped out on his birth mother when she was still pregnant with him. Although he liked to pretend that being adopted had no effect on him, it’s something he’d carried with him for the past thirty-plus years. He loved Karen and Roy more than anything, but his adoption has always haunted him. It’s not that he didn’t want to be a husband or a father, he was just afraid of messing up. The truth was, he was his father’s child, and he didn’t want to repeat those same mistakes. He didn’t want to be that guy who ran out on his family. He didn’t want Alexia to hate him, and he didn’t want his child to grow up resenting him, like he did his father.

He needed to get his shit together, and he needed to do so fast, before things imploded.

“Where are you going?” He asked, when he noticed Alexia bounding down the stairs, clad in a gray sweater dress, leggings, and boots.

“Out,” Alexia replied coldly, stopping at the closet to pull out her coat and purse.

“Where?”  JC tried again.

“The local playhouse is putting on Miracle on 34th Street,” she huffed. “I’ll be back in a few hours.”

“Um, I don’t think so.”

“Excuse me?” Alexia scoffed.

JC said nothing else as she turned back around on the heels of her boots to leave. The minute Alexia opened the door; she was hit in the face by the cold winter winds as the Pennsylvania snow poured down profusely.

“We’re in the middle of a snow storm, you’re not going anywhere.”

“Ugh, this cannot be happening to me,” Alexia sighed, slamming the door shut.

“Looks like we’ll be confined within the walls of this cabin for the next few days,” JC said. “Good thing we stocked up.”

“Yeah good thing,” Alexia snorted, rolling her eyes.

“Come sit next to me,” JC said, patting the spot next to him.

After placing her things back in the closet, Alexia joined JC on the couch. “We should talk,” he said.

“Haven’t we tried that?” She replied. “Over and over again.”

“I mean just talk, about whatever. Like we used to. If we ever want to move past whatever this is, then we need to be comfortable around each other again. Relieve some of this tension.”

Okay, so he is right. Alexia thought. At least he is trying. “Okay.”

“So…” JC started. He was at lost for words. He had absolutely no idea what was going on in her life right now.

“So, who’s playing?” Alexia asked, turning her attention to the plasma up on the wall, where a basketball game was taking place.

“Uh, Syracuse and High Point,” JC replied.

Syracuse is in New York. “So is Carmelo Anthony playing?” Alexia asked, making the connection.

JC through his head back and chuckled heartily. “Oh Honey, you were never well versed in sports!”

“Yeah, I guess not,” she giggled, feeling relieved of some of the tension between them. “Hey, well at least I tried.”

“It’s snowing pretty hard out,” JC said, changing the subject.

“Yeah,” Alexia replied, turning to look out the window. “That’s something we wouldn’t get in LA.”

“We’ve been fighting so much, we haven’t even been able to enjoy this trip much.”

“I know,” Alexia sighed. The intended purpose of their vacation had been completely lost. They would’ve been much better off in Orlando with his parents.

“And I know that I haven’t been making any of this easy for you, Alexia.”

“Josh…” She didn’t know what to say. Where was this coming from all of a sudden?

“I haven’t been the easiest guy to get along with lately, and I’m sorry.”

“Wow, Josh. That really means a lot.” Alexia didn’t really know how to take all of this. One moment they were at each other’s throats, and now he’s apologizing, finally admitting to his faults. Was it for real this time? Because she didn’t like this on and off thing, where things were good between them one minute and then heated the next. She didn’t like the feeling of them being up in the air. “Things are really changing between us,” she said, tensing back up.

“Yes, I know that,” he said, taking her by the hand.

“I need to ask you something Josh,” Alexia said, turning to him, and looking him in the eye.

“Okay, what is it?” He asked, searching her eyes upon hearing the rising panic and unease in her voice.

“Did I pressure you into proposing?”

“Wait, what?” JC asked incredulously.

“I need to know Josh.”

“No, no Allie, that’s crazy,” JC replied quickly, caught completely off guard by her question.

“We were together for eleven years before you asked me to marry you! You were always that guy that wanted to stay single, and I was always that girl that wanted a family. I can’t help but to think that the only reason why you proposed was so that you could keep me around,” Alexia cried. “I feel like I’m pushing all of this onto you, and that’s why you’ve been pulling away from me.”

“Allie, that is not true,” JC said wiping her tears away. He couldn’t believe that she had thought that. “I proposed to you because I wanted to. I want you to be my wife, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Then what the hell is going on with you right now, Josh?” She needed so desperately to know.  

JC thought of the perfect way to articulate his feelings into words, but he couldn’t, so he just let it out. “I’m scared. I’m afraid of things changing.”

“Okay,” Alexia sighed, taking everything in. She could deal with that. It wasn’t anything they couldn’t work through. She was just glad that they were getting to the root of the problem.

“I’m afraid of not being a good husband to you. So far I’m being a pretty pathetic fiancé. I’m afraid of being a terrible father.”

It was as if time had completely frozen for Alexia right in that moment. “D-did you just say father?” She asked, stuttering.

“I know about the baby, Alexia.”

She didn’t know how he knew, but he knew. This was not going according to plan at all, and certainly not how she wanted to break the news to him.

“And I don’t want you to think that I’m not ecstatic, because I am, but at the same time, this scares me more than anything, because I’m afraid of turning into my father,” JC said honestly.

Hearing those words, everything started to make perfect sense, and Alexia knew exactly who he was talking about. “Josh no, you could never be like him,” she said, taking his hands into hers and looking into his eyes. “You are amazing, and you are so good to me. I couldn’t possibly ask for a better man. I have no doubt in my mind that you’ll be a wonderful father.” She knew how sensitive of a subject this was for JC, and how vulnerable he must be feeling right now. His heart was raw, and he was completely exposed right now.

“You don’t have to say that, Lex,” JC replied, a tear lightly making its way down his cheek.

“I’m not just saying that,” Alexia sniffed, crying too. “We may be going through a tough time right now, but it’s nothing we can’t get through. We’ve been through worse. Everything will be okay, I promise,” she said, gently stroking his cheek.

“Alexia, I know I’ve been screwing up a lot lately, and believe me I am so sorry,” JC said, taking her hands, and kissing the backs of them. “But I will do whatever it takes to make this up to you, because you are my whole entire world.”

This was everything that she had hoped for. They had finally made that breakthrough that they had so desperately needed. Everything was becoming so clear now. “I love you so much Josh,” Alexia cried, this times, tears of joy.

“I love you too, Alexia,” JC replied, cupping her face in his hands, and kissing her on her forehead, and then softly on her lips.

They had finally made that breakthrough. They would be okay.

One Week Later, Christmas Day

“Josh,” Alexia groaned waking up. “It’s Christmas, Honey,” she smiled. She knew it was probably way too early for him to be up, but she’d always had this internal clock on Christmas morning, anxious to start celebrating the day. Despite being a grown woman, the kid in her always came out on Christmas. She couldn’t wait until next year when she’d have a daughter to share these moments with. Or son, she wasn’t picky. She looked down, and rubbed her belly excitedly. “Merry Christmas, Baby,” she cooed.

She reached over to wake JC up, only to find his spot empty. Sitting up, she turned her head towards the bathroom, to see if he was in the shower. Silence. “Hmmm, that’s odd,” she said to herself, as she reached up to lightly tousle her hair. It was then that she made the discovery that her ring was gone.

“Josh!” Alexia called, jumping out of the bed. When she didn’t receive an answer she started to panic.

“Josh?” She called again, racing down the steps. “Have you seen my rin-“As she reached the landing of the staircase, she noticed a trail of red rose petals.  She took the time to follow them, realizing that they led her straight to JC, where he was kneeling down by the Christmas tree, surrounded by her favorite vanilla scented candles. The lights were dimmed, and their song was playing; Richard Marx’s Now and Forever.

“Josh, what is this?” Alexia asked, completely amazed by the set up.

“Come here, Baby,” JC said, smiling at the beautiful sight of his fiancée’; make-up free, her hair tousled, and clad in a gray camisole and matching boy shorts.

As Alexia approached JC, he embraced her into his arms, and she sat down on his lap. “This is incredible,” she said before kissing him. “I can’t believe you did all of this.”

“I really wanted today to be special,” he replied kissing her back, and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I love you, Alexia.”

“I know, Baby, I love you too.”

“And I know that these past few months have been extremely difficult for us, but I want for us to move past this, and move on to an even greater future. I want you to know that I am completely committed to you, and I want absolutely nothing else. “JC looked up to see a bright smile plastered onto Alexia’s face. “Alexia Camden Walker, light of my life, mother of my child,” he said, rubbing her belly. “Will you marry me? Again?” JC asked, pulling out a blue velvet box and opening it to reveal a brand new beautiful diamond solitaire ring.

“On my God,” Alexia gasped, as tears began to pool in her eyes. “Josh-“

“I don’t exactly know how these re-proposal things go but-“

“Yes, yes!” Alexia exclaimed, almost too stunned to speak. This was everything that she wanted and so much more. This was perfect.

“Great,” was all that a nervous JC could say, as he slid the ring onto her finger. He was just as nervous as he was the first time around.  

Alexia stood slowly, allowing JC to stand as well. On his way up, he lay gentle kisses on her belly, and whispered, “I love you,” before coming up to kiss her, and holding her tightly in his arms as they gently swayed back and forth to the music.

“Josh, this means everything, you mean everything to me,” Alexia whispered looking up into his eyes. “I couldn’t live my life without you.”

“And I know that I wouldn’t be the person that I am today without you, Allie,” JC replied, looking down at her. “You are my better half. You complete me, I love you.”

And so that day, Alexia and JC learned that love is difficult, but the fight was well worth it. They would go through Hell to get to Heaven together, and conquer fire and rain, and move mountains just to be with each other. You couldn’t appreciation your best moments, without going through your worst. As long as they had each other they would always make it through. Nothing would ever come between them.