It was good, at first. The way his fingers just skimmed the surface of exposed skin above her hips. And he had rhythm; so many of these random dudes she met had none. He smelled good; the scent of his cologne not overpowering or cloying. She didn't know what it was that he was wearing, but she could tell it wasn't cheap. 

"Damn, girl." He groaned against her ear as she arched her back and pushed up against him. 

He was about six feet tall, olive skinned. She wasn't sure what he was ethnically, but she guessed Mediterranean or something like it. His eyes were dark and sexy, like his curly hair. 

"Let's get outta here. You got a room nearby, don't you?"

She closed her eyes, liking the way her heartbeat pulsed in time with the music. "I just wanna dance, OK?" 

"You just wanna dance, huh?" His grip on her hips tightened considerably, pulling her flush up against him, grinding into her salaciously. "Because the way you're moving tells me something different."

She rolled her eyes and pushed his hands away. "Thanks." She turned to walk away and he grabbed her arm. She looked down at his fingers gripping her and then up into his eyes, her expression mild and vaguely disinterested. "You should let go of me now. I'd hate to cause a scene."

He followed as her gaze turned from him to the large, dreadlocked man standing off to the side of the small dance floor. He was watching them calmly, but obviously ready to move at the slightest provocation. "Man, whatever." He dropped her arm and stalked away. 

"Everything OK, Case?" Bruce asked as she neared him, making her way to the bar. "Old boy ran up outta here like his ass was on fire. Was he giving you a hard time?"

She smiled and gave her bodyguard a mock salute. "I'm aces, B. And he...well, I think I wasn't as much as fun as he thought I'd be." She made her way over to the bar and, after ordering a rum and cola, spotted Chris in the corner.

Drink in hand, she approached him and collapsed onto the cushion next to his. "What's up, Kirkpatrick?"

His eyes narrowed as he focused intently on the dance floor a few feet away from where they were sitting. "D'ya think that hurts?"

She followed his gaze and grunted. "It certainly doesn't look comfortable." She swirled the glass tumbler in her hand before taking a swallow. 

Her backup dancers, Jasmine Flores, Lawrence Mitchell and Mike Albion, were on the dance floor performing what appeared to be a simulated sex act. Jasmine was in the middle with the men flanking her front and rear. There was a little bumping, some grinding, and a whole lot of Jasmine being bent over and turned around.

Chris tilted his head as she suddenly leaned forward, head almost touching the floor. "You should definitely find a way to work that into your show."

"Yeah, somehow I'm thinking no." Casey gave an emphatic shake of her head. "The parents of the teenies in your audience would not be impressed. You guys keep the sexuality...relatively subtle and non-threatening."

Like *NSYNC, her music mostly focused on relationships--the endings and beginnings, and everything in between. Though none of her songs could be called graphic, and she generally sang about sex in metaphorical ways that most kids were not likely to understand, unlike *NSYNC her lyrics tackled the sex and sexuality in a more direct way. Her physical aesthetic was also a bit more overtly sexual, and the decision was made, once she joined the tour, that some of the choreography would be toned down so as not to offend any of *NSYNC's young fans--or, perhaps more importantly, their parents.  

"Yeah." His eyes were still fixed on the trio on the floor. Jasmine lifted one leg and wrapped it around Lawrence's waist. "There's nothing at all subtle about that." After a beat, he turned to her smirking. "Speaking of...where'd your boyfriend run off to?" 

"Huh?" Her brows knitted together in confusion.

"Oh, you know, that nice young man you were dry fucking earlier?" Chris slammed his drink back and looked around the room. 

She snickered. "I was just dancing, but I guess just dancing wasn't good enough for him."  

Chris laughed while she sipped at her drink, scanning the room. The lights were low and cast a bluish tint against the black walls and plush seating. The silvery accents twinkled in time with the beat of the music that pumped from the speakers at a comfortable decibel. 

One of the perks Casey Whitaker had come to enjoy about being on tour with *NSYNC as their opening act was VIP access at even the most exclusive clubs. This particular club, Room Blu, was not, however, particularly exclusive and it was small; the VIP area was roped and curtained off, a few steps above and off to the side of the main seating area. It was the location for the allegedly secret, unofficial post-show after party. As sometimes happened, word got out that *NSYNC might be making an appearance, and considering the fifty dollar cover for a club that usually had a ten dollar entrance fee, she could only surmise that someone connected with the place let the cat out of the bag. She heard that there had been some grumbling about both the excessive cover, and the fact that the club was twenty-one and over. That was another perk of being on tour; she had only recently turned twenty but was able to dance and drink no matter where the party happened to be. And despite the size of the venue, the DJ was on fire and the liquor was top shelf and free-flowing. She wasn't quite drunk, but she'd inched past buzzed and was feeling no pain; she planned on drinking away all plaguing thoughts of recent events. 

Despite the hefty door charge, hordes of fans--most of them female and scantily clad--descended on the club like moths to a flame. Three rather large and intimidating bodyguards stood in front of the VIP area, making sure that none of the more enterprising young women made their way past the rope--and oh, how they tried. The fan phenomenon was something that, even after being with *NSYNC for a couple of months, Casey still couldn't wrap her mind around. Girls went absolutely insane everywhere the guys were. They screamed and cried and just completely lost their collective minds. 

That evening the club was packed, and there was still a line of women waiting to pay their fifty bucks to get a glance of Joey, Chris, Lance, Justin, and JC. Casey laughed to herself, wondering how upset some of the girls would be once they realized that only three out of five *NSYNC members had showed up that evening, one of whom had bowed out quickly, none of whom were the supposed fan favorites. 

They were all supposed to go out together, but only Chris, Lance, and Joey made it to the club that evening. A sudden phone call had Justin begging off right before they left. Joey disappeared after about fifteen minutes of grinding with one particularly skimpily clothed young woman. But of course she couldn't help but wonder about why JC had stayed away. And just like that, her stomach started churning.

"I thought JC was supposed to be coming out tonight, too?" She cast what she hoped was a casual glance Chris's way.  

For a moment he only stared at her, blinking. She began to feel more than a little self-conscious and wished she hadn't mentioned it.

"Yeah," he began slowly. "I think that was the plan originally."

After placing her glass on the table in front of them, she twisted the silver ring on her left thumb. "What happened to change it?" She hoped that she looked bored and only semi-interested in his response.

He shrugged. "I guess you'd have to ask JC."

"Yeah, right. I'll just go up and ask the guy who goes out of his way to avoid talking to me. I've literally seen him change directions in a hallway when he sees me coming." She rolled her eyes and stopped twisting the ring suddenly, realization dawning. "Wait a minute; don't tell me he didn't come out because of me?"

He coughed, not doing a good job of covering up his laughter. "Again, Case, you'd have to ask him that. In fact, I think you should."

"I really don't fucking get him. I've never done anything to him-I've barely said ten words to him. But let me walk into a room where he is and I can almost literally feel the temperature drop twenty degrees." Casey sighed heavily. "Whatever."

"Well." Chris's tone of voice held the slightest bit of amusement. "I was under the impression that you didn't much like him anyway. Am I wrong?"

She snapped her head up, brown eyes narrowed defiantly. "No; you're exactly right. What's to like? He has the personality of a rock." She grabbed her beverage and gulped down the last bit. "I'm leaving; I'll see you tomorrow. Please tell Lance I said goodnight."

After slamming her glass down she stalked across the room to say goodnight to her dancers. 

***

Once outside the club, Casey dashed into the waiting SUV.  

"You're ready to head back already?" Christoff asked from the driver's seat. 

She looked down at her phone and was more than a little dismayed to see that it was only half-past midnight. "Yeah." She clenched her teeth and blew out a breath. "I guess so."

He adjusted his rear view mirror to look back at her. "Everything all right, Casey?" Sincere concern shined in his dark eyes.

She affixed what she hoped was a passably authentic smile on her face. "Everything's gravy. I'm just tired now." He continued watching her and she flashed a thumbs up. "Seriously. I'm good."

After another second Christoff nodded, readjusted the mirror, and pulled off. 

So much for her plan of staying out late as possible. For keeping her body moving enough long enough to keep her mind otherwise occupied. There was stuff, so much fucking stuff, lurking just beneath the surface of her consciousness. The liquor helped lately. And maybe, maybe she was using it to help just a little too much. But fuck it. She was young, and her liver was fully functional. It made sense to take advantage of her health while she had it. 

Music helped, too. Especially in a club or at a concert where she wasn't performing. When it was loud and pulsing and people were all around moving with her. On those occasions the unpleasantness, the craziness of the last year remained at bay. The sheer insanity of the last few weeks, especially. Including the ever present situation with JC. 

OK, so it was a bold-faced lie she had told Chris. Yeah, she had an idea she knew what JC's problem was. More than an idea, really. But she also had absolutely no clue of what to do to remedy things. Their first meeting had been less than comfortable. To say they met under bad circumstances was an understatement of nearly epic proportions. The second time was almost just as awkward. And everything that followed...well, it continued to go downhill. Rubbing her hands up and down her denim-clad thighs, Casey sunk down lower into the leather seat. 

Unpleasantness wasn't her thing. And lately, there had been entirely too much of it. She thrived on exciting and fun, and combining both of those things into activity and busyness. She liked moving and going and doing. Sitting still, and being contemplative, and dealing with heavy things were not high on her list of priorities. And the situation with JC went beyond simply unpleasant. It was irritating and vexatious and repugnant, and a whole host of other synonyms she couldn't immediately bring to mind. It was horrible. 

She thought Tony's exit would mean the end of it all. But in a way, things only got worse. And thinking about it made her feel sick to her stomach.

She tried to not let the fact that JC's apparent distaste for her was almost unbearable. If she entered a room he usually left if at all possible. If they passed one another backstage or in a hotel corridor, he avoided eye contact with her. Tony's dramatic exit had made JC's behavior toward her all the more obvious. When Tony had been around she was able to partially convince herself that JC was avoiding Tony more so than her, but once he was gone she couldn't deny the truth.

He hates me, she thought with a sense of self-pitying sullenness. Her first interaction with him came to mind and she shook her head as if physically shaking away the memory. The fact was, she understood why he felt the way she assumed he felt, but it didn't bother her any less. 

"Screw it and screw him," she mumbled aloud.

"What was that?" Christoff called from up front.

"Nothing."

Cheesy movie. Click. Infomercial. Click. 

JC ran through the channels twice, staring at the television without seeing anything. As was often the case after a show, his adrenaline was pumping and endorphins were still flooding his system. Following a performance he was almost always hyped up. Being onstage was a bigger, better, and longer lasting high than any illicit drug. He was almost vibrating with energy. It was late, and although he was vaguely tired, sleep was not happening anytime soon.

He had come back to the hotel and swam a few laps in the pool. When that didn't settle him, he tried sitting in the hot tub for a bit. After fifteen minutes he was hot and just as wired as he had been before climbing in. After coming back to his room and showering, he flipped on the TV hoping to find something that would either hold his attention or lull him to sleep. But so far, nothing doing. But as hyper as he was physically, it did not help that his thoughts were whirring at lightspeed. 

Everyone else had gone out to a local club; normally that was his speed when he was a in a mood like this. Some liquor, some music, and dancing with the right kind of girl. Depending on how things went, there was maybe even the possibility of bringing her back to his hotel room after. And that almost always guaranteed him a good night's rest. But that evening there was really only one girl he was even semi-remotely interested in bringing back to his hotel, and the possibility of that happening was exactly zero percent. So he had excused himself from the unofficial after party by claiming exhaustion. Joey had looked at him funny, but to his credit he didn't press the issue. Or call JC out on what was almost completely a lie. 

Well, not completely. Because Casey was going to be there and being around her was most definitely exhausting. And he really wasn't in the mood. 

With her boyfriend--ex-boyfriend--gone, JC realized pretty quickly that Casey liked to party. Or maybe she liked to party because he was gone. Either way, she was giving Joey a run for his money. He'd come along a couple of times, with everyone else, when they hit a club after an evening's show. But he also realized, even more quickly maybe, that he didn't like to watch her party. 

For one, Casey drank a lot, which was interesting considering the fact that she wasn't yet twenty-one. He'd seen her drinking before, while her ex had still been around, but she really seemed to ramp up after he'd gone. JC felt kind of hypocritical when he counted how many drinks she had when she was out; he'd been in a similar situation when he'd been her age. He had definitely consumed his fair share of alcoholic drinks while he was underage. And it wasn't like she was drinking so much that she was falling over. But he still couldn't help how he felt watching her get drunk. 

Her drinking, however, bothered him far less than her dancing. It wasn't as a big of a deal to him when she was with Justin, or Joey. Even though things still had a tendency to get kind of raunchy, and even though it made him a little jealous by how comfortable she was with them, he knew it was all in fun. But he'd watched her before with other guys, random strangers she danced with who stood way too close, and touched her way too much. It made JC uncomfortable in ways he wasn't interested in examining too closely because ultimately he knew it didn't matter. But after the last time they'd all gone out together, when she'd actually left with some stranger who'd been practically groping her on the dancefloor, he decided he didn't want to see anymore of her doing that, ever again. 

It wasn't fair, he knew, that he was judging her for doing something he'd done plenty of himself. She was young, beautiful, and free of a relationship that had clearly been bad news from start to finish; she had every right to celebrate that in whatever way she wanted to--and with whom. Had she been anyone else he would've been completely OK with it. But it wasn't that simple with Casey. Because despite the fact that he hadn't known her long, nothing had been simple with her from the beginning. 

JC got along with virtually everyone. It was kind of a point of pride with him. He liked people, related to them, connected with them. And they, in turn, liked him. The only people who had an issue with him were the people who didn't know him. Because once people got to know him, his overwhelming likeability was obvious. 

Usually.

So maybe it was his fault in the beginning kind of, even though it all happened accidentally. He didn't handle drama well, and frankly, aside from being painfully awkward, that first encounter was ridiculously dramatic. So maybe he didn't handle the after part so well. But he tried. And besides, the second time was all on her. 

She'd been polite but aloof. Not quite cold, but definitely chilly. It was the polar opposite of how Justin and Lance said she'd been when they met her. They described her as warm and friendly, energetic and high spirited. That was not, however, what he got when he met her. 

He had been excited as anyone about Casey's arrival on the tour; he liked her music and had heard nothing but great things about her. He'd been genuinely excited to meet her, but the incident, that first unfortunate meeting, set the tone for all their future interactions. And as much as it frustrated him, he didn't know how to get passed it. 

Second to all of that, and perhaps more frustrating, was the fact that he was maybe a little bit attracted to her. Or maybe it was a lot. 

He'd thought she was cute from the first time he'd seen her. They were on the same label and he'd seen pictures and caught some footage of her performing. She was also talented, and the fact that she wasn't just a pretty face had made her all the more appealing to him. She was a vocal powerhouse and a terrific dancer. But he was drawn to more than her talent or looks. She was energy and magnetism personified onstage. About five feet of pure effervescence. And her charisma and charm didn't diminish offstage; if anything her presence was larger as it wasn't as tightly focused. She wasn't loud or particularly flamboyant, but it was almost as if her very aura drew people in effortlessly. 

Casey fascinated him. He watched her sometimes when he was sure no one else was paying attention. The way her eyes danced and her hands moved endlessly when she talked about something that excited her. The way her intensity seemed laser pointed on whomever she was speaking to in a way that made them feel like the most important person in the room. The way she walked into a space and just commanded it, without any sort of show or pretension.  

She was the kind of girl that most guys would fall all over themselves to be close to. She was definitely the kind of girl he could picture himself being very close to in all kinds of different ways. But that just fueled his frustration. He wasn't in the mood to watch her get close to, or potentially hook up with, random guys. 

And there was still that pesky little thing between them. That thing that was mostly her ex-boyfriend. That thing that, maybe, wasn't so little after all. And he had no idea what the hell he was supposed to do about it. So he did what he did best when things were tense and uncomfortable and stressful. He did absolutely nothing.  

He's coming back from the bathroom and hears what sounds like muffled arguing coming from around the corner. He follows the hallway around the curve past the restrooms, and sure enough, there are people arguing. At first he can only see the man from behind; he can tell he's holding on to someone smaller, and by the voice he knows it's a woman. He's holding her, possibly by the arms, and shaking her. He can't hear everything that's being said at first, but he hears very clearly when she tells him that he's hurting her. He moves closer, but neither of them notice.  He recognizes the man as Tony Brown, whom he was introduced to earlier. And then he recognizes her. 

"Is everything OK here?" he asks. 

Casey Whitaker looks up, her face stricken with a mixture of embarrassment, anger and recognition. Her cheeks are wet and she has very obviously been crying. Just as quickly as he catches her eye, she looks away. 

Tony barely inclines his head toward JC. "We're fine, bro. Private conversation." He waves his hand dismissively.

JC sees her wince, and he realizes that Tony is squeezing the hell out of her upper arms. "Are you sure?" His question is directed to her. . 

She won't look up at him again but he hopes she knows he's talking to her. When she doesn't answer he continues. "Because it looks like--" Before he can express his thought, Tony cuts him off rudely.

"Let's go, Casey!" He grabs Casey's hand and drags her down the hallway. 

As they pass him she meets his eyes again, and he can't quite read the expression on her face. 

When Tony had joined Casey on tour, JC made the conscious decision to steer clear of both of them. And after Tony was gone, it was a pattern that was easy to remain in. He wanted things to be different, but he couldn't figure out how to make it happen. She was going to be there for another six months, and he wasn't sure he could handle another half year of avoiding her, but he didn't know what the alternative was. 

With a groan, JC leaned back against the headboard and cycled through the television channels again. 

***

Forty minutes later Casey was showered, lotioned, and sitting at the foot of her hotel bed wrapped in a bathrobe. She had run the blow dryer through her hair for a few minutes and, although not completely dry, her thick, shoulder-length curls were no longer dripping wet. After smoothing some product through it, she wound it up in a loose bun on top of her head. 

"Fucking Orlando," she muttered. 

It was the first time she'd met JC and the uncomfortable, embarrassing encounter played in her mind on an endless loop. 

Casey'd been an *NSYNC fan before she became their opening act, and quiet as she kept it, she had been a JC fan for even longer than that. JC Chasez was her favorite performer and her celebrity crush. She admired him professionally; he was an extraordinarily gifted singer and a fantastic songwriter, as well as a multi-instrumentalist. As a performer, his charisma and energy onstage were unmatched. She also knew that he was very much into the behind-the-scenes process of recording, and knew his way around a console. Even before touring with him Casey had hopes that there would be a possibility, eventually, of working with him. 

On the other side of that coin was the fact that she found him wholly aesthetically pleasing. She had an unvoiced fantasy that maybe a musical meeting of their minds might lead to an eventual physical meeting of their bodies. He was, Casey thought, sexy as fuck. On top of all that, by all accounts he was also a genuinely nice guy. She couldn't wait to meet him. Until she did.

"Ow, Tony! You're hurting me! Let go!" She tries to wrench away from him but he only tightens his grip on her upper arms.  

"I asked you what the hell you think you're doing?" Tony sneers down at Casey. He is easily a foot taller than her, and at least eighty pounds of pure muscle larger. The pressure he's exerting on her arms is in direct correlation to the amount of rage being leveled at her from his brown eyes. "I'm across the room and you're dry fucking him like I don't even exist. You're making me look like a fucking chump with a slut for a girlfriend." 

He never raises his voice, but the tone in it still causes the hair on the back of her neck to stand up on end. She knows he won't do anything while they're inside; even though they are in a relatively private corner, it's still a public place. There are lots of people here tonight that Tony wants to impress and eventually someone will walk by. Besides, she also knows that Tony is mostly bark with no bite. Mostly.

"We were just dancing, Tony. Please let go of my arms." Hot tears prickle the corners of Casey's eyes but don't yet spill down. He's squeezing her tighter, and she fleetingly wonders if he can break her arm with his bare hands. She's also already anticipating having to hide the bruises that will surely have formed by tomorrow. It's warm in Orlando, but, she thinks, she'll most certainly be wearing long sleeves. In that moment she hates him, but not nearly as much as she hates herself.  

He shakes her, quick but hard. Her head snaps back and her top teeth knock against the bottom ones. On top of everything else, she's going to have one hell of a headache. The tears in her eyes are now spilling down her cheeks.  

"Bullshit. That wasn't just dancing. He had his hands all over you and if I hadn't come back when I did you probably would've--"

"Is everything OK here?"

A vaguely familiar voice interrupts their exchange and when Casey looks up, her stomach drops to her feet; JC Chasez is standing a couple of feet from them. 

Tony barely glances at him. "We're fine, bro. Private conversation."

JC steps closer. "Are you sure?" 

Though she won't meet his eyes, the weight of his gaze on her is nearly palpable.

"Because it looks like--" he begins.

"Let's go, Casey!" Tony snaps. He snatches her hand and all but drags her down the hallway.

As they pass JC, Casey briefly catches his eye before looking away and hurrying off with Tony. 

Tony wanted to leave after that, and she told everyone that she wasn't feeling well--which wasn't actually untrue. They returned to their hotel and he passed out almost as soon as they got into the room, and never mentioned what had happened when he woke up the next morning. Casey, however, couldn't get the look on JC's face out of her mind.

Tony's inclusion on the tour had put a damper on all of her high JC-related hopes, and she had resigned herself to the fact that there would likely never be anything personal or professional between the two of them. And then there was the final incident. Whereas Tony's exit should've made things easier to deal with, it had actually made JC's presence somehow become bigger and a lot more difficult to ignore; she guessed it was the fact that she was no longer distracted. Or maybe it just became a little bit more difficult to avoid him. She didn't even care so much that he wasn't attracted to her; considering their first meeting, she could fully understand that. But she was vexed by the fact that her very existence seemed to aggravate him.

She had already been on tour with them for over two months and in that time things with JC seemed to get weirder and more awkward. Early on she had tried to engage him a few times, wanting, but not quite knowing how, to address their first meeting in Orlando. It was difficult then because Tony was almost always lurking around in her shadow, and JC had made it abundantly clear, in his own quiet way, that he had no intention of interacting with him at all. 

After Tony's abrupt and dramatic exit from the tour and, blessedly, her life, JC had been even more impenetrable and she gave up. More time passed with her assuming he didn't like her, and so, admittedly childishly, she had made up her mind not to like him. Feeling as if he was ignoring her, she started ignoring him first. And as stupid as she knew it was, she couldn't figure out how else to handle it. 

She glanced at the clock; it was just about one-thirty and she knew that at this rate she wasn't going to be sleeping anytime soon. Her intoxication was a distant memory and she was feeling slightly hungry, but the hotel was the sort that didn't have vending on all floors. After rummaging through her luggage, she pulled on a bra and tank top. She also slid on a pair of nylon track pants. After lacing up her sneakers, she grabbed the ice bucket and shoved a couple of dollars and her keycard into a pocket and headed down the hall.

***

JC sighed heavily and pushed up off of the bed. He'd gone through every channel three times and nothing was holding his attention. He grabbed a Coke from the minibar and decided he wanted a snack to go with it. He slid his feet into a nearby pair of flip flops and, after grabbing his keycard and ice bucket, headed out to find vending. 

***

As Casey followed the signs to ice and vending, Orlando and JC were still on her mind, and she was becoming more and more agitated with each passing minute. She was trudging down the hallway, head down and deep in thought, when a door to the right flew open and someone walked out and almost directly into her. 

"Sorry." She stumbled backward and it took her a split second to look up to see who was in front of her.

Considering he was currently on her mind in the worst way, Casey was surprised and dismayed to see the familiar blue eyes looking down at her. As was the case whenever JC was around, her stomach twisted into an intricate knot. 

He looked good as always. His plain black tee clung to his slim frame attractively and she picked up the faint, clean smell of soap and musky, spicy scent of shampoo that clung to him. Even his smell was sexy. Trying not to think about that, she looked away.

"‘Scuse me," he mumbled, stepping back out of the way. 

"No, my bad." Walking past him, she reached the small vending area which was recessed into a vestibule in the hallway.

With hands that weren't quite steady, she put her bucket into the ice machine and depressed the button, while simultaneously browsing the options in the snack machine next to it. She could feel JC's presence in the the doorway behind her, and she glanced over her shoulder to see that he was also holding his ice bucket. 

"I'll be done in a sec," she mumbled faintly. 

He replied with something that she didn't quite catch, and subsequently chose to ignore.

This was, she thought, the stupidest thing ever. She was under contract to tour with *NSYNC for the next six months, with the possibility of extending her contract for the winter leg. The thought of enduring what was essentially a cold war for several more months made her literally feel sick to her stomach. 

Dreading the thought of the countless weeks ahead of her, she took a deep breath, squared her shoulders and turned around to face him. She put her hands on her hips and stared up at him. "Listen, JC, I know you don't like me."

"Come again?" His eyebrows raised and he tilted his head to the side. 

She rolled her eyes. "We met under...really awkward circumstances, I know. But Tony's gone now, OK? So he's like, a non-issue. But I'm going to be here for at least the next six months and all of this...whatever this is between us is just...it's stupid!" Inside she was a nervous wreck, and she knew her words tumbled out in one breath.  "You don't have to pretend to like me or anything, but..." She threw her hands up. "Can you just tell me what your problem with me is, so we can get past it?"

For a moment he simply stared down at her, and it felt like his blue eyes were burning a hole in her brown ones.  

Looking up, she was suddenly intimidated. She never would've described JC as particularly imposing, but at five-feet tall she was about eye level with his shoulder and suddenly very aware of his physical presence. More often than not the expression he wore when she was around wavered between benign disinterest and vague weariness, but something about the way he was staring down at her, unblinking blue eyes blazing brightly, unnerved her. 

When he finally spoke his voice was soft but terse. "I don't have a problem with you." 

Casey practically snorted. "Bullshit."

He stared back at her in silence for long enough that she began feeling ridiculous. She didn't know what she was supposed to say now that he was looking at her so intently. And maybe, she thought, he was right anyway. Maybe he didn't have the problem. He literally seemed to get along with just about everyone else; apparently, she was the problem.

She let out a breath. "Why do you hate me?" She managed not to whine, but just barely. "Is it because of...of Orlando?"

His blue eyes were suddenly guarded and she wished she could tell what he was thinking. Several more seconds of silence ticked by and she wished she hadn't said anything. "Never mind," she said quietly, turning back to the ice. "I'll get out of your way."

"I don't hate you." 

She turned in surprise, and he was looking at her with an expression she could only describe as being deeply weary. 

He sighed and shook his head. "I just wanna get my ice, Casey."

His change in demeanor left her feeling confused, but she also felt stupid as hell for confronting him in the first place. "Fine." She turned to pick up her ice bucket. "Have a good night or whatever." As she was grabbing the bucket she felt his hand on her upper arm. Leaving the bucket in the machine, she turned back to him.

"I don't hate you, OK?"

She looked down at his hand still on her arm, and back up at him. "You already said that."

He cleared his throat and let go of her. "I just think..." he trailed off and looked down at his feet as she eyed him suspiciously.

JC took a deep breath and, gripping his ice bucket in one hand, rubbed his other across his face. "I just would've thought that after everything with...that guy...you would maybe slow down a little, is all."

She detected a note of obvious disgust in his voice and she wrinkled her forehead in confusion. "What do you mean I need to slow down? From what?"

He was now the one looking as uncomfortable as she'd been feeling moments before. "I'm just saying, I get that you're going through a stressful time or whatever, but maybe you should slow down on the partying. I mean, you're out pretty much every night and, you know, you don't want to burn out before you even get a real chance to get started."

He cleared his throat. "Not to mention, after everything that happened you should probably be more careful about the guys you...hang out with." 

She gaped at him in open-mouthed shock. Casey had fully expected him to say that he thought she was stupid for staying with Tony when he'd clearly been an asshole; she was prepared for that. But apparently, in addition to being an idiot, he thought she was an unprofessional partygirl . And if she read between the lines as well as she thought she had, he also thought she was a slut. Suddenly she was no longer nervous; she was pissed as hell.

Despite her embarrassment, what he'd seen in Orlando didn't define her. Who the hell was he to judge her for ten seconds of something that he saw that he didn't even understand. She was dismayed to realize that JC was a judgmental asshole. 

"How dare you," she began, her voice low, eyes narrowed into angry slits. "When I'm offstage what I do, and with whom I do it, is absolutely nobody's business--least of all yours. But thanks so much for the concern." She smiled sarcastically.

He looked at her blankly for another moment before nodding. "You're right; it's none of my business. Sorry I said anything," he mumbled. Still holding his empty ice bucket, he exited the vending vestibule and headed back the short distance to his room.

"Is it heavy, JC?" she called, following after him. 

He had unlocked the door and pushed it open, but he turned to find her looking at him from less than a foot away. "Is what heavy?" Agitation and confusion were etched on his face in equal parts. He propped the door open with one foot. 

"The judgment you obviously carry around." She gestured toward him. "Being holier-than-thou must get rough, what with everything else you have going on."

Again, he rolled his eyes.  "Whatever, Casey." He turned to walk back to his room again, and, not one to be dismissed, she grabbed his arm. 

"Oh no you don't. You don't get to insult me and then walk away." She chuckled angrily. "You know, I thought you had this whole super mature, quiet wisdom thing going on. But you're really just sitting back looking down your nose at everyone else, huh? You're really just a judgmental asshole." She took a step back and crossed her arms over her chest, smirking up at him. 

JC's eyes were hard. "You don't know anything about me."

"My point exactly." Casey nodded. "You don't know anything about me. I mean, we've barely had an actual conversation. But based off of one thing you saw-what you think you saw--you made up your mind about who I am, didn't you?"

He groaned. "This isn't..." He shook his head and turned around. "I shouldn't have said anything, Casey. I'm going to bed; we've got an early morning."

Before the door to his room closed fully, she pushed it back and followed him inside. Part of her wanted to tell him that he obviously had no clue how wrong he was about her, but that wasn't even the point. "It's funny you mention the guys I hang out with, because what about the, uh, ladies you hang out with? Despite what Tiger Beat may print about you absolutely loving your sleep after a show, we both know there've been plenty of nights that sleeping is the last thing going on in your bed after a show."

Casey felt only slightly wrong for bringing that up; truthfully, in the time she'd been on tour with *NSYNC, she'd only witnessed JC taking women back to his room a couple of times. And only in the first couple of months of the tour. 

JC shook his head slowly. "How would you know? Your head is too far up your own ass to even see anyone else around you."

Her eyes narrowed. "You're an asshole," she whispered, pointing at him. "Really. I gave you the benefit of the doubt because...because of what you saw in Orlando. But you're just an asshole. Plain and simple."

He closed his eyes, covering his face with one hand, and took a deep breath. "Casey," he began, "I shouldn't have said--"

"Fuck you." She was hot, literally and figuratively, but her voice was steady, calm.  She stuck up both of her middle fingers in his face. "Fuck what you think you know about me and just... Fuck. You." Heartbeat racing wildly, Casey turned on her heel and grabbed the door handle.

Before she could register what was happening, JC grabbed her arm, spinning her around to him. Without so much as a word, his lips were pressed against hers.

His lips were on hers before he registered what he was doing; was somehow the next logical step when his fingers closed around her arm. Now he was hot, burning up, and it had nothing to do with the temperature in the room around him. The heat from her mouth set him on fire from the inside out. Her lips were soft and pliant, and his was eager and searching.

Casey's lips tingled and she shivered. Small jolts of pure electricity danced down her back. His tongue touched hers and she abruptly pulled away. Eyes wide, chest heaving, she took a cautious step back and looked up at him. Now what? She had hoped for a straightforward conversation. She had hoped to clear the air about Orlando and Tony, and whatever else was bugging JC. First she was only livid at what he'd said; now she was also reeling from the completely unexpected kiss.

“Sorry,” JC mumbled, looking down. His heart galloped wildly in his chest and he shook his head slightly. “I'm sorry.”

Casey breathed deeply for a moment, willing her pulse to slow down. “Why...why did you do that?” She continued to stare at him and he wouldn't meet her gaze, choosing to study his fingers instead.

Again, JC shook his head and moved further into the room. He still said nothing, and kept his head down as he sat on the arm of the love seat that was in the sitting area. "I'm sorry.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “About everything I said. About...about kissing you." Even as the words passed his lips, it was a lie. He was sorry about everything before, but he had no regrets about the kiss.

Casey stood stock-still, blinking slowly. ”You didn't answer my question.”

He raised his head then and finally met her eyes, not speaking.

“I just wanted to clear the air,” she said when he didn't say anything else.

His eyes were still trained on her, but from where he was sitting, partially shadowed, she couldn't completely make out the expression on his face.

“You mean Orlando?”

“Yes. And everything since.” She looked down at the floor, crossing and uncrossing her arms several times before finally letting them hang at her sides.

Orlando and Tony were the elephant in the room that neither of them could get around. Still, he had crossed a line in what he'd said to her before. “I'm sorry for acting like an asshole.” His voice was quiet as he sat in the semi-dark.

Casey lifted her shoulders in a self-conscious shrug. “It's, um, it's fine, JC.” After a beat she continued, “I'm going to get going. I, uh...see ya.” Before she could take more than a step JC spoke.

“Casey, come here. Please."

She paused and cleared her throat. She moved toward him slowly, stopping directly in front of him. She waited for him to speak and as before, without word or warning, his fingers were on her face and his lips were against her. And for the second time, she was returning the kiss.

JC's fingers crept up the back of Casey's neck to her hair and he tugged gently, tilting her head back. She obliged and parted her lips slightly, allowing him fuller access to her mouth. He licked her bottom lip, sucked lightly, and she opened her lips more, seeking out his tongue. She leaned into him, resting her hands on his chest.

This was good. It made not one iota of sense, but it was good. His lips were against hers and everything that didn't concern the way he was touching her was a murky blur. And the way he was touching her... His hands gently tugging at the hair at the nape of her neck. The way his mouth fit perfectly against hers. And she felt it, again. The electricity from earlier, coursing down the plane of her back and becoming a spark between her legs.

Her lips were unbelievably soft and he was thoroughly enjoying the way her body was pressed to his.  Casey moaned against his mouth, a soft sound that gave him goosebumps and made his dick jump. And as suddenly as she'd made the small sound of approval he was on a single-minded mission to make her moan more.

She ran her hands down his stomach, and just under the band of the bottom of his shirt and he groaned. There were things beginning to creep up on her. Things like the conversation-turned-argument they hadn't finished. Things like the fact that in a very real way, he was her employer and this was maybe not the best idea. But as his fingers crept under her shirt and skidded seductively up her back, all of those things didn't matter.

JC brushed his lips against hers briefly before finding his way down to her neck. He licked, and kissed, and nipped, teeth and tongue against delicate skin. She whimpered and he pulled her between his legs.

He took his hands from around her waist and lifted her tank top. Suddenly emboldened, she took a step back and helped him by pulling the shirt over her head, letting it fall to her feet. She looked at him, held his gaze, letting him know that the proverbial ball was now in his court.

His lips curved into a slow smile. He glided his hands up her arms to her shoulders, and back down again. With his blue eyes still focused on her brown ones, his fingers found their way to the clasp of her bra, then back up her shoulders. With a mere brush of his fingers the material fell away from her body, and she shrugged it off her arms. The bra joined her shirt on the floor.

JC took Casey's hand and pulled her closer, his mouth landing on her collarbone. She tilted her head and arched her back. His mouth moved down her body leaving a warm trail in its wake. She shivered again.

He cupped her breasts with his hands and squeezed gently. Her skin was soft and smooth and felt beautiful beneath his searching fingers. He wanted her. On top of him. In front of him. Underneath him. In every which way. And the possibilities, in the form of images, were running across his mind in shocking clarity and detail, the more he touched her.

She closed her eyes and her breathing quickened. Her nipples responded to his fingers, stiffening to hard peaks. Although her mind had almost forgotten what it felt like to be kissed sensuously and touched gently, it seemed that her body had not. Her skin was flushed and her brain was sending rapid-fire alerts to every nerve-ending in her body.

It had been just under two months since Tony left, and just under two months since the last time she'd had sex. But even when Tony was there, foreplay was the exception rather than the rule; when he was ready, he was ready. If she wasn't...well, she went through a lot of lube with Tony. But what was happening with JC was different. He had hardly touched her and she was already very, very ready.

But this was JC. The same JC to whom she'd said little more than a handful words in several months. The same JC who politely, if not obviously, steered clear of her. This was insanity.

“JC.” She angled her head up to look at him, breathing heavily.

"Hmm?" His lips vibrated against her and he paused to look her in the eye. “Do you want me to stop?”  

The absurdity of the situation should have been laughable. That she was in an increasingly compromising position with a man who, as of less than an hour ago, couldn't seem to stomach being in the same room with her. But the simple fact was, she wanted to keep going.

She smiled shyly.  “No, I just…I absolutely do not want you to stop.”

He lifted his head with a grin, his hands still on her breasts. He straightened up and, without a word, he brought his lips back to hers. After several minutes of greedy, fervent kisses, JC took Casey’s hand and led her away from the couch, and across the room to the bed. He gently nudged her back onto the bed and she gazed up at him.

Somewhere in the reaches of her consciousness a small voice tried to get her attention, tried to caution her against what she knew they were about to do, to at least convince her to think about it more. But after spending the better part of the last several months doing almost nothing but, she was spectacularly tired of thinking.

JC watched her as he lifted his white tee over his head, the slightest hint of  amusement playing at the corner of his lips as he saw the smile that came to her mouth. Her eyes panned the length of his body in a way that clearly communicated to him that she enjoyed everything she saw.  

He was the picture of calm and collected, externally. She was beautiful and sexy, but the scenario itself wasn't new. He was used to sexy, beautiful women, not that he was arrogant about it. But Casey was also unexpected. And internally, he was reeling. Further back was the distant thought that, sooner or later, they would have to revisit the earlier conversation. And sooner or later, there was maybe the issue of him sleeping with their opening act. And the fact that maybe that wasn’t quite kosher.

She whispered his name again, and thoughts of sooner or later dissolved into what was happening presently.

Casey grinned wickedly; his body looked even better than it felt—and it had felt pretty good beneath her fingertips. More than that, it looked even better than she had imagined. JC was slim, but his whole upper body was taut with hard muscle. They rippled down his arms and defined his abdomen. His eyes met hers as his hands pushed at his pants. In the blink of an eye, he was standing before her in nothing but his underwear, the outline of his arousal apparent beneath the thin cotton boxer-briefs he wore.

He watched her even as she watched him, following her eyes up his body. He leaned down over her. “Your turn,” he whispered, reaching for the top of her nylon pants.

She let him work, lifting her hips so he could pull them off.

He made a little grunt of surprise when he realized she had on nothing beneath her pants. "You're full of surprises tonight, Casey," he whispered.

“I, uh...I pulled these on straight out of the shower," she stammered. "I was just planning on turning in after getting my ice so..."

She had already kicked her shoes off so he dragged the pants past her feet unimpeded. "I'm not complaining. Less work for me." He winked.

JC took her by the hands and pulled her up to a kneeling position on the bed in front of him, his mouth immediately returning to hers. With him standing right in front of her, Casey was now at his eye level and she took advantage of it by touching every bit of skin she could reach. With slow fingers, she explored his arms and shoulders ran her hands up and down his arms and across his shoulders,. His body was hard, almost perfectly chiseled, but his skin was soft.

She could feel his heartbeat against her chest, and could also feel his erection between them, pressing into her stomach. She ran her fingertips back up, across his cheeks and around his neck, where she played with the soft curls of his hair at the nape of his neck.

JC's hands traveled down her waist, to the curve of her hips, settled on her backside. He squeezed gently, and pulled away slightly. He looked at her, his expression serious. "What I said earlier--"

She placed a hand against his chest and shook her head firmly. "Shhh. That's not what I want to talk about right now."

He smiled, his thumb brushing lightly at her lips. "Ok...what do you want to talk about right now?"

"I was actually kind of hoping we were done talking for now." She raised one eyebrow and trailed her fingers down his chest, belly, and to the top of his underwear. Fiddling with the elastic waistband, she smiled up at him. "So, are you gonna take these off sometime soon, or...?"

With a chuckle, JC stood back and pushed the cotton of his underwear down, leaving them in a pile on the floor. He looked up to see her looking down at his erection, her bottom lip between her teeth.

He was, Casey thought, beautiful; every single glorious inch of him was absolutely lovely. She nodded, a smile slowly forming on her lips. 

JC crawled up on the bed on his knees, and tilted her chin back, running his thumb across her lips. He locked eyes with her. "I've never hated you, Casey," he said softly. "Far from it. It's just that...with Tony--"

She shook her head again. "No more talking, remember? Especially not about that."

He smiled, pulling her closer to him. As they kissed her hand found its way to his dick; she wrapped her fingers around him and began a slow, almost lazy rhythm of stroking.

When Casey's fingers touched him, JC's eyes slipped closed and he grunted his approval against her mouth, pressing his hips in closer to her.

"Mmm," he moaned softly. "That...yeah, that feels good."

She tightened her grip on him and sped up her movements and for several minutes his hips involuntarily moved in concert with her fingers.

"Whoa, mama." He groaned, gently taking her hand. "If you keep that up I'm gonna be done right here and that would be disappointing for both of us."

"That would suck." Casey giggled.

"For twenty minutes or so, it absolutely would.” He leaned in to her ear. "Lay down, Casey."

They settled on the bed, her on her back, and she reached up to bring him down to her. He rained kisses on her lips, across her jaw and down her neck. She wound her fingers through his hair and he continued to move his mouth down her body.

Casey closed her eyes and sighed contentedly, thoroughly enjoying the feel of his mouth on her body. When warm lips closed over one nipple more electricity coursed through her.

She moaned; his mouth was magic and everything good and maybe that was enough to send into her space. At that thought, his fingers began moving very slowly, almost imperceptibly, down her midsection. Her stomach fluttered and she brought both of her hands to rest on his head. She was holding her breath, waiting for him to touch her.

His fingers found their way down her body, between her legs, and he was touching her right where she wanted him most. His touch was firm but gentle, slow yet insistent. Casey shut her eyes and moved her hips against his fingers. Unlike JC, she was not at all worried about coming too soon. He slid one finger into her and she gasped softly.

JC raised his head and looked at her with sly smile. "That feels good, right?"

She managed to glance at him before her eyes snapped shut. "Mmm… Yes.”

He chuckled and captured her other nipple in his mouth, adding another finger to what he was doing between her legs.

Good was something of a massive understatement. It didn't even matter that it was just his fingers right now. She was vaguely aware of the rather loud sounds coming from her mouth, and the fact that she was clutching, not too roughly she hoped, his hair. His breath still wet and warm on her nipple added to the intensity of everything and she tried to tell him how close she was.

“I...JC..." Casey’s stomach clenched and her climax exploded outward and upward through her.

He kept up the movements of his fingers, his mouth on her breast, and didn't stop until her hips stopped rocking and she stopped pulsing around him.

She let out the breath she had been holding in a rush. “Wow.”

JC chuckled and kissed his way back up to her mouth. "Wow? I hope that’s high praise." He moved so he was fully on top of her and she opened her legs so he could settle between them.

"You have no idea." Her breath came in heavy pants.”I haven't come like that in...a long time.” She pulled his head back down and kissed him deeply.

He pulled back, balanced on his forearms over her. He stared down at her, eyes dark and intense. “Well, then I guess we need to make up for lost time because you’re sexy as hell when you come like that.”

JC’s eyes focused intently on Casey’s, his voice deep and sexy, and she shivered again.

She pushed her hips upward but he only watched her, his expression mild. He teased the tip of his erection against her without pushing forward.

“Um, are you waiting for a written invitation?”

“You’re kind of impatient, huh?” He laughed.

She slid her knees up along his sides and arched her back. "Very. Now. Please.”

“Since you asked so nicely…” He groaned as he entered her. “Fuck, you feel good.” He filled her with his first slow stroke, going in deeply.

Her breath caught in her throat and she closed her eyes. “So...do you,” she managed.

JC was hot and hard and Casey was very ready for him. Sex with Tony had been lackluster, and if she finished it was usually by herself after he had rolled over and gone to sleep. She missed sex--good sex--and her body responded quickly.

He pulled almost completely out with each thrust and she lifted her hips to meet him. "Mmmm." She grabbed his butt, bringing him closer and deeper. "You feel...wow..."

He let out a throaty chuckle that sent shockwaves down to her toes. "You, uh...like wow, huh?" He began to roll his hips against her.

She whimpered; he was moving determinedly right up against all of her hottest spots and the tension was building again. "Wow is...wow is good."

He growled something unintelligible in her ear and she groaned in acknowledgement and agreement. There was no more conversation; as their bodies moved together with more urgency, their voices also rose in unison. The room was full of the sounds of skin against skin, and soft sighs, heavy groans and throaty moans.

“Oh, fuck! Do I need to pull out?” JC asked frantically.

“What?” Casey was disoriented for a second before his meaning suddenly dawned on her. “Oh...birth control.” In addition to hoping that he understood her, she also hoped, in a hazy sort of far-in-the-back-of-her-mind sort of way, that she wouldn't regret not having used a condom with him. It was, she reasoned, a little too late to think about it now.

He sped up his movements, rocking against her, sliding in and out of her and she was there again, rising and rising, gasping and pulsing. Her fingers dug into his back and she wrapped her legs around him. Her limbs were quivering and her body felt like jello. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her hearing became distorted. Her orgasm came in wave after powerful wave that left her feeling lethargic and slightly disconnected from reality. She was vaguely aware of JC telling her that he was going to come, but he sounded far away and possibly under water. In a moment she felt him, pushing into her, erupting, releasing, sounds coming from his mouth that she couldn’t decipher. All she could do was lay there and enjoy feeling the full weight of him as he relaxed against her.

With a shaky breath JC rolled off of Casey, sliding underneath the top sheet. He felt her shiver; her upper body, which had been pressed flush against his, was damp with sweat and the room’s cool air hit her unexpectedly. He pulled her until she rolled slightly over and into the crook of his arm, her chest against his side, head nestled in the space between his neck and shoulder one arm splayed over his midsection. He pulled the sheet up over her back with the arm she wasn’t laying on.

“Better?” he whispered.

“Much.” She closed her eyes and nuzzled her nose into his neck.

The room was chilly, but her skin was hot against his. He was flushed and they were both still working on regulating their breathing. He could feel her heart beating against him. His limbs felt insubstantial and wavery, and he was thankful to be lying down. He watched her for a moment, liking the contrast of her brown skin against his slightly ruddy pale skin; her eyes were closed as she inhaled and exhaled, the rising and falling of her chest slowing down.

He let his fingers travel from the top of her head to her shoulders, where he stroked her skin gently. “You're so quiet,” he whispered, his voice hoarse.

Casey snickered. “Now.

"Yeah. Now.” He laughed. "Everything all right?”

She sighed. “Mmmhmm. Just thinking.” She opened her eyes and breathed in deeply.

He shifted so that he could look at her face. “Anything in particular?”

At that moment, there were several thoughts running around in her head, most of them conflicting.  She hefted herself up on one arm to look at him. “This has been...an unexpected night."

He smiled and brushed some stray hair out of her face. “Unexpected good, I hope.”

“Great. Unexpected but definitely...great.” She patted his chest and settled back down against him.

He was warm and his skin, now faintly clammy, smelled good. Casey put her nose right up against his side and inhaled. He chuckled and ran his finger along her back in circles as she did the same along his hip. They were both silent, but comfortably so.

"I'm glad you confronted me tonight," JC said quietly. “I mean, not for the obvious reason, but...I wanted to clear the air, too, you know? To talk about...everything.”

      She raised her head off of his chest and eyed him quizzically. “Really?”

              “Yes, really. Everything since Orlando has just been...not good. I’ve hated it.”

She snorted. “Way to clear the air, then.”

              He ran his hands over her hair, smoothing it away from her face. It was mostly out of the bun she had put it in, and in a partially curly, partially frizzy halo around her head.

"This wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.”

              "Hmm."  

              "But this was good, right?" His voice was a whisper in the semi-dark.

              "Very.” She trailed one finger across his cheek to his lips, eyes locked on his. “I should go.” She scooted up and kissed him lightly.

An image of her asleep in his bed materialized in his mind without warning, and the question almost spilled out as suddenly. The image that followed, the one of her flat out refusal, stilled his lips. “Ok,” he said evenly. “But you don’t have to.”

             She smiled, appreciating the implication. “I think I do.”

             He nodded. “Fair enough." JC watched her as she left the bed and bent over to pick up her pants and slide them on.

"I know you're watching me, Chasez.”

He smirked. "I like the view."

Casey faced him with a grin and a slight shake of her head.

"So.” His face turned serious. “Are we going to talk about everything?"

               Tucking her bra into the pocket of her pants, she turned to look at him. "Yes, but whatever needs to be said—“ she pulled her shirt over her head. “—can be said later.”

He sat up and she leaned down and kissed him again. With a smile and wave, she turned and he watched as she walked out the door.

***

JC rubbed the towel through his wet-from-the-shower hair once more before leaving the bathroom. He walked into the bedroom and lay back on the bed, studying the phone on the bedside table. Something needed to be said all right. He knew that. But hell if he knew what that something should be.

What a night, he thought with a shake of his head.

Casey left so abruptly, and he tried to not let it get under his skin. In the midst of everything, he hadn’t thought about what would happen when it was over. But he hadn’t wanted her to leave; that much he knew. Beyond that he was flying blind, but he wanted to say something to her.

***

Casey stepped out of the shower for the second time that night and slipped back into the oversized terry cloth robe. Hugging her arms around her body, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her life, she mused, had suddenly turned into a clusterfuck. She was immensely glad that Jasmine wasn't in the room; she supposed she should probably wonder where her friend was considering the hour, but she couldn’t get out of her own head enough to make the effort. On top of everything else, she was apparently turning into a selfish, shitty friend.

Casey's breath came in deep sighs and her emotions were a jumbled mix, equal parts annoyance, elation, trepidation and plain old fear. Standing on the other side of her tryst with JC, she was not yet regretting anything but she was definitely wondering what came next. She hadn’t given any thought to the possible fallout, and now she wondered how, or if, having sex with him was going to affect everything--including her position on tour. Before she could delve any further into her thoughts, the room phone rang.

“Hello?” she answered gingerly.

“Hey.  It's JC.”

"Hey, what's up?” The stupidity of the question had her cringing to herself.

“Casey, I know it's late and you said we could talk later but I just wanted to say-- “

“It shouldn't have happened.” The words rushed out of her mouth almost involuntarily. It was true, but she couldn't help but feel a pang of regret at saying it aloud. There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line. “JC?” she said tentatively.

“I'm here,” he said softly.

She closed her eyes and lay back on the bed, blowing out a frustrated breath. “I don't regret anything, OK? I really enjoyed being with you tonight, but...you know, considering…well, everything… It's just probably best that we, um, pretend like tonight never happened. Don't you think?”

JC was silent on the other end of the phone, wishing he had waited to call her. He closed his eyes and rubbed at the bridge of his nose.

“I mean, I'm just saying...we don’t need this kind of complication, right?” She didn't like his silence and a colony of butterflies hatched in her stomach.

“Yeah, you're right,” he said finally, a note of terseness in his voice.

Casey heard it but didn't know how to remedy it. Her life had already consisted of more than enough drama in the short time she had been on tour and she didn’t want to be the cause of any more.

“I just don't want you under the impression that I…” She faltered, trying to think of the appropriate way to finish her sentence. “With the tour and all...maybe it'd be a good idea to just…”  She sighed heavily, suddenly feeling much older than twenty and emotionally spent.  “Is this something we can just forget about?”

He released his breath in a rush. “Forget about it?" He was unnervingly quiet.

“I guess I just figure that's best, you know? For you. For me. For the tour. Just to keep things…just so they don’t get any messier than they’ve already been.”

“Yeah, sure,” he replied flatly. “It never happened.”

She closed her eyes, massaging her temple with her free hand. “Get some sleep, JC. We’ve got an early morning; remember?” She forced a laugh, but it sounded hollow and humorless in her own ears.

“Casey.” He said her name softly.

She opened her eyes and sat up, almost hoping that he’d try to change her mind. “Yes?”

After a moment of silence he said, “Have a good night.”

The line went dead and she stared at the phone until the dial tone rang shrilly. She hung it up and cradled her head in her hands.

"So much for clearing the air,” she muttered under her breath.

Casey sat there for a moment before sliding out of her robe and tossing it to the floor next to the bed. She pulled the comforter up almost over her head, and closed her eyes.

Every word she said to him was true; she knew they never should have slept together. It didn’t make sense, and it shouldn’t have happened. But, a voice in her reminded gently, it had happened. As weird as things had been between them before, she couldn’t even imagine how things were going to be now. She was frustrated, and increasingly angry with herself. And underneath it all, she couldn't stop thinking about how good it had been with him. Every kiss, every touch, every...everything. Her fantasies of him--and she'd had plenty-- had absolutely nothing on reality.

She replayed it all over and over in her mind until, sometime around 4:00AM, she finally passed out.

***

Maybe if he had just waited to call her, JC reasoned, Casey wouldn't have been so quick to dismiss what had happened between them. And dismissed is how he felt, which also made him feel weird, because it wasn't like he had never had a one-night stand. Then again, most of the women he had spent one night with he didn’t have to see just about daily for weeks on end.

And there was the issue of how things had been between them before they had sex; how was anything supposed to be less awkward now, he wondered. If he didn't know how to be around her before, he certainly didn't know how to be around her now.

He looked at the clock on the bedside; it was nearly 4:00AM. He turned off the light, dreading his 7:00AM wake up call. He needed rest but all he could do was replay what had happened with Casey.  

" . . . Five. . . six. . .seven. . .eight!"

The music started again and, accompanied by her three dancers, Casey went through the closing number of her set one more time. As the choreographer, Lawrence made a minor change that he wanted to perfect for that evening's show. With less than  ten minutes before they needed to relinquish the space for *NSYNC's sound check, Casey was kind of a disaster.

Although she would be singing live later on, her track was playing and she was mostly mouthing the words. Attempting a successful transition from a kick to a pencil turn, she missed the count for the third time in a row and tripped over Mike.

"Shit! I'm sorry, Mike. Ow!" She yelped as she fell to the stage floor.

"Cut the music!" Lawrence yelled to the guys handling the sound. "Casey, what the hell's going on today? You keep coming in on the wrong count. It's step right, step left, kick, turn, five, six, hop, drop. The only thing that changes is the hop before the drop. Where are you this morning?" He helped her up from the stage floor.

"I'm just, um, really tired. Sorry." That was the truth, if only part of it. On top of being exhausted from the three hours of sleep she'd managed to get, the only thing she could concentrate on was JC. She had literally bumped into him backstage.

"Sor-oh . . .hey." She manages a wan smile when she realizes who is standing in front of her.

"Hey, Casey," JC says quietly.

He's wearing a white t-shirt emblazoned with the logo of some sports' team; his baseball hat, white with black bill, matches the shirt. His jeans are dark and baggy, and his shoes are white and gleaming. He is unbelievably sexy.

Her mind goes completely blank and she struggles to think of something to say. "Um...I was just on my way onstage. For soundcheck."

JC smiles at her, one of those genuine ones where his eyes crinkle up at the corner and narrow into tiny slits. She likes when he smiles like that and likes even more that, because of last night, it's directed at her.

"I figured," he says with a chuckle.

"Yeah! I guess it's what we do before every show. Soundcheck, I mean."

She's nervous, he thinks and smiles at her. He's never seen Casey lose her cool, and he finds it rather sexy that she's tongue-tied. Maybe, he also thinks, she didn't mean what she had said last night after all.

Casey is cringing inwardly; with JC standing in front of her, she can't think of a single coherent thing to say. Her thoughts are traveling a mile a minute and the only thing she can think about is last night. She wonders if he's thinking about it.

He leans down so his mouth is right up against her ear. "Do you think...do you think we could talk later? About last night? I know what you said on the phone, but," he pauses, his voice barely above a whisper. "I have some things I want to say, too."

His breath on her ear, and the huskiness in his voice affects her unexpectedly. Her mouth is dry as all available moisture has been directed...elsewhere. She croaks out a reply. "Yeah...yeah, sure."

He stands back up straight, and looks at her. His eyes are burning into hers with an intensity that makes her want to look away; she's weak-kneed and makes a conscious effort to keep breathing.

"I . . . I have to get out there." She points vaguely toward the stage, not sure why she's still whispering.

JC smiles slightly and appears to be amused. "OK. Have a good soundcheck."

"Yeah," she replies, a little out of breath. "Um, I'll talk to you later."

He nods. "I hope so." With a wink, he walks off.

Casey takes a deep breath and tries to compose herself. Just the fact that he has been standing so close to her, breathing on her...well, her desire for him is almost palpable. With an involuntary shiver, she tosses her phone in the general vicinity of her stuff and heads for the stage.

"Casey!"

She jerked her head up. "Huh?" It took her a moment to notice that her dancers were all staring at her. Mike walked over to her and slipped his arm around her shoulders.

"You OK, Case? You didn't hear Lawrence say we were done for now?"

She grinned sheepishly. "I, um...I was trying to concentrate."

He cocked an eyebrow at her.  "Obviously. But the question is, on what?"

She squeezed his shoulder and nodded at Lawrence. "I'm good, guys. I'll have it down tonight. Promise!"

Lawrence made a face but let it go. "Everett called you backstage, but you probably didn't hear that either." He gave her a pointed look and she smiled before making her backstage.

***

Once backstage, Casey felt a brush on her shoulder. "Shit!" she gasped in surprise, spinning around wildly.

Everett Patterson eyed her suspiciously. "What's going on with you today, Casey?" Standing a foot taller than her, with full sleeves on both of his arms, tattoos that crept up his neck, multiple facial piercings and his jet black hair sculpted into peaks on the top of his head, he was an intimidating sight. "You were spacey onstage and now you're jumpy as hell."

She rolled her eyes and continued walking. "I'm just tired, that's all. I'm gonna take a nap and I'll be fine tonight." She grabbed the duffel bag that she'd left near the wall and dug frantically. "What's up? Mike said you were waiting for me?"

She glanced over her shoulder to see Everett's piercing green eyes boring holes into her. As the tour manager, it was his job to see to it that everything about the tour ran smoothly. That included dealing with agitated opening acts.

Casey pasted what she hoped was a convincing smile on her face. "I'm going straight to sleep when I leave here, OK? I promise I'll be on tonight."

Everett had told her on more than one occasion that he was impressed with her endurance and stage presence. He had been a freelance tour manager for years and he rarely came across new acts as polished as she was. She hoped he still believed that.

He studied her for a moment more before relaxing. "Are you looking for your phone?"

She nodded, returning to rummaging through my duffel. "I thought I put it in here..."

"It was next to your bag." He reached out one multicolored arm. "I picked it up because it was ringing off the hook. Dara's been blowing up your phone and mine." He handed her the phone. "Says she's been trying to reach you since last night."

With a quick thank-you, she took the proffered phone and saw the same number over and over in the call log. With a protracted sigh, she selected the number and hit 'send.'

Everett watched her for a moment more before ambling off in the opposite direction.

"Dara, hi!" Casey forced herself to sound normal when she heard her manager's voice on the other end of the line. She would want to know she had been unreachable the previous night and morning and so far, Casey hadn't yet formulated a plausible excuse.

"Casey, where've you been? I called after the show last night, and again later. Jasmine said you were sleeping but she doesn't lie well."

She grimaced, thankful that she couldn't be seen. "I've been...around. I, uh, I couldn't sleep last night so I walked on the treadmill for awhile." She hoped the lie sounded convincing. "I didn't actually tell Jazz where I was so she was just trying to cover for me."

Picking up her bag she headed for the backstage exit, waving to two of *NSYNC's bodyguards as she passed. As she had hoped, there was already a vehicle waiting to take her back to the hotel. The SUV was idling and she got inside, continuing her conversation.

"OK," Dara replied after a beat. "But are you're sure you're all right? You've gone almost two months without any kind of break. The pace is pretty tiring. Not to mention...everything else."

She smiled into the phone, touched that Dara genuinely cared. She felt slightly guilty for lying, but only very slightly. "I'm fine; I promise."

"Ok, but if anything changes, let me know, OK?"

"Promise."

"OK, well, I was calling because we finalized things with Rich Robinson and I wanted to let you in on the specifics."

She tried so hard to pay attention to the details being given but it was a jumble of disconnected numbers and sounds that she couldn't quite process at the moment. She was beyond tired and the small area of her brain that seemed to still be functional was almost singularly focused on JC. Still, she managed to get through the conversation without Dara registering her listlessness.

"Casey," Dara said slowly, before hanging up. "Promise me that you'll let me know if you need anything."

She sighed. "I already said I promise, Dara, but I'm fine. Really."

***

"So, what's up with her?" Mike asked as they gathered up their belongings from the stage. "Did she tell you where she was last night?"

Jasmine shook her head, zipping up her backpack and slinging it over one arm. "I have no idea. I didn't ask her and she didn't offer. She was a little weird this morning. Quiet."

Lawrence laughed. "Yeah, Casey quiet is definitely weird."

The three dancers made their way backstage, and then out of the venue to the vehicle waiting to take them back to the hotel.

"So what's going on with you, Case?" Jasmine asked once they were all inside the Bravada.

Casey could feel them staring at her and so she opted to become fascinated with her phone. "Nothing. I'm tired is all."

"Why are you so tired? You left last night around midnight. You should be well-rested," Lawrence pointed out, wiggling his eyebrows.

Mike tried to cover a laugh with a cough. "That's true, Case. Unless, of course, you didn't go straight back to your room after you left the club."

She jerked her head up. "I...of course I went back to the room after I left. I just, uh, couldn't sleep is all."

Jasmine poked her in the side. "Bullshit. We went back to the hotel an hour after you did, and I went straight to our room and you were nowhere to be found."

Casey eyed her suspiciously, trying to detect any hint of a trick.

Lawrence noticed and said, "She's telling the truth, C. We went straight to our room and Jazz called us to see if we knew where you were."

"I called you, too," Jasmine pointed out.

Casey had seen a couple of missed phone calls from her, but assumed her friend was just checking in from the club. She racked her brain trying to come up with a believable excuse. "I did go straight back to the room, but I left again. And besides, you weren't in the room either when I got back."

"Yeah, I took a shower and then I waited around for you for awhile before going over to the boys' room and passing out." Jasmine smiled wryly. "And that still doesn't answer the question; where were you?"

"And don't lie," Mike said. "We checked the pool, the workout room, the bar, and we even went back down to the main lobby to see if we had missed you since we came in on the side entrance. Where were you?"

Casey felt heat rise to her face. "I...um...I..." She stammered and couldn't think of anything that would sound remotely believable. Every eye was on her, and she nervously rubbed her hand down her face. Just as she looked up, they pulled in front of the hotel.

"I'm exhausted. I'm going to catch a quick nap." Before anyone could say anything, she jumped out of the vehicle.

***

"So what do you think she's hiding?" Lawrence said, as the other three exited the car more slowly.

"I don't know, but something was up between her and JC before sound check." Mike glanced between Lawrence and Jasmine.

"Up like what?" Jasmine asked, raising one eyebrow. "They were actually talking?"

They were all well aware of the dynamic between Casey and JC, more aware than either Casey or JC knew. They walked through the automatic revolving door into the lobby of the hotel.

Mike shrugged. "Yeah, they were talking. The only thing I caught was him asking if they could talk about last night. He was kind of whispering."

Jasmine's eyes widened and she grinned. "You don't think...do you think she was with him last night?"

Lawrence rubbed his jaw thoughtfully. "It would make a weird sort of sense. They were the only two unaccounted for."

"No way!" Mike shook his head emphatically. "She's still sticking the ‘I can't stand JC' narrative. What would they have been talking about last night?"

"Maybe they weren't talking at all." She let her words hang in the air, looking between the two men.

"For that to happen, Casey would first have to admit that she's sprung on him." Mike snorted. "And she's nowhere near ready to admit that."

"What if he admitted it first?" Jasmine shrugged. "The only reason she acts like she can't stand him is because she thinks he can't stand her."

"And we all know that's not true." Lawrence nodded slowly.

Neither Casey nor JC realized how much everyone talked about the two of them behind their backs. They caught him looking at her when he didn't think anyone noticed, and they knew first hand that her only real issue with him was that she didn't know what his issue was. They all figured it had something to do with Tony, and although he was no longer on the tour, his presence had cast a certain pall over everything for a while.

"Well, what did they look like when you saw them?" Lawrence asked. "How were they standing?"

Mike thought for a moment. "He was leaning real close to her, not touching her exactly, but almost. And she looked..." He reached for a word to describe her expression. "Preoccupied? I don't know. There was definitely something going on but they didn't seem mad at each other. The whole thing looked..." he trailed off.

"Looked what?" Jasmine pressed.

"I felt like I walked in on a private moment, actually. Like I walked in on something I wasn't supposed to." He made a face. "You don't really think that Casey and JC... I mean...not really, right?"

Jasmine smiled wickedly. "I'll meet you guys in the hot tub later, maybe. I'm going to see if I can get details." She practically ran around the corner to the elevator.

"Well, if anyone can get it out of Casey it'll be her," Lawrence said as they strolled off in the other direction.

***

JC slouched back in his seat, eyes closed, savoring the cool of the leather interior.

"You want me to turn the music down?"

His eyes flickered open at the question, and he met Eric's eyes through the rear-view mirror. "Naw, I'm good, man. Thanks, though." He answered his bodyguard with a smile. "You know I can sleep through anything, anyway."

"Ain't that the truth," the big man mumbled with a low chuckle.

JC closed his eyes again, and his thoughts wandered back to Casey. He hadn't been able to sleep much after their phone conversation, and when he got up for the day he had resolved to talk to her. He was hanging around backstage, watching for her, when she walked by and dropped a duffel bag on the floor. She was looking down at her phone and didn't notice him at first, even as he moved closer to her.

She was dressed simply; a pair of black baggy cotton pants was paired with an oversized red cropped tee, hanging off of one slender shoulder. Underneath the shirt was a black sports bra, and she wore a pair of red gym shoes on her feet. Her hair was smoothed back into a curly knot on the top of her head. JC's first thought upon seeing her was that he couldn't wait to get her naked again.

So much for pretending like nothing happened.

He was surprised, and pleased, that she agreed to meet him so easily; he was positive, after her resolution on the phone, that he'd have to convince her. Now, he just needed to figure out what to say. The car door opened and he opened his eyes again, to see Justin sliding into the seat next to him.

"You all right,C? You shot out of there like your pants were on fire." Justin settled himself in the vehicle.

JC laughed and rubbed a hand across his face. He had cleared the stage pretty quickly after soundcheck, and was the first one to make it into one of their two waiting SUVs. "Yeah, I'm fine, man. I'm just tired."

As the black Bravada pulled off, Justin hummed along with the song playing on the radio for a moment, tapping the beat out on his thigh. "I can tell. Your eyes are bloodshot. I thought you didn't go out with the rest of them last night, though?"

JC averted his eyes and looked out the window. "I didn't," he said shortly, knowing that Justin wasn't likely to let it go.  

"Ah, so Joey wasn't the only one who got some last night, then."

JC's eyes widened and he choked. "I...what? What are you talking about?"

Justin sat up straighter, crossing his arms over his chest. "Joey made a friend last night," he said slowly. "I just assumed you did, too. Since you're so tired."

"Oh, um, no. Nothing like that."

Justin's eyes narrowed suspiciously and JC cringed inwardly. He was being cagey, and under ordinary circumstances he wouldn't have been, but since he still didn't know what was going on between him and Casey, he figured no one else needed to know either. He also figured Justin wasn't going to let it go now that his curiosity was clearly piqued.

"So you slept alone then?" Justin said finally.

"Yes." He wasn't technically lying; when he'd finally fallen asleep Casey was long gone.

"Bullshit!" Justin laughed. "I've known you long enough to tell when you're lying, C."

"I'm not lying," JC said quietly. "I slept alone last night."

Justin shook his head, still chuckling. "Bull. Shit. And if you did sleep alone, I bet it was only a technicality. She left before you fell asleep or some shit." He continued to stare at JC and JC continued to pretend like he didn't notice.

JC snuck a peek at Justin and could almost see the gears in his mind turning; he wasn't going to let it go. He took a deep breath. "Justin, I'm gonna tell you something and I need you to keep it quiet for now, OK?" Even as he said the words, he knew how difficult--if not impossible--it was to keep secrets on a tour.

Justin leaned in conspiratorially, brow furrowed. "You got some last night; why's it such a big secret?"

JC took inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. He glanced up at Eric, and leaned in closer to the blonde. In a low voice he said, "Because it was Casey."

A huge grin broke out on Justin's face and he fell back against the seat in hearty laughter. "You guys finally got it out of your system." He nodded, still smiling widely. "Finally!"

JC sat up straight, opened his mouth to speak, closed it again, and stared at Justin, blinking slowly. He finally croaked out, "What...what do you mean?"

Justin rolled his eyes dramatically. "Dude, are you kidding?" He shook his head, and laughed. "You like her. She likes you. It's been obvious from the beginning. Once Tony left we were practically taking bets to when you two would hook up."

JC's eyes narrowed and he started at Justin slack-jawed. They'd had virtually no interaction; how anyone could've thought there was anything between the two of them was a mystery. Then again, he pondered, last night was proof there was something between them. He was quiet for a moment wondering what, if anything, Casey had ever said to Justin about him; they had become fast friends over the course of the tour. He considered asking, but thought better of it.

"So how'd it happen?" Justin leaned closer to JC.

"I don't even know, man," he said with a shrug. "It was crazy. We were arguing and then...then we weren't."

"Well. What now?"

JC shook his head slowly. "Well... She said it would be best if we didn't, you know, repeat it. And her reasons are good and all--"

"What are her reasons?" Justin interrupted.

JC looked down at his lap. "Just that, you know, it might be awkward with her being on tour with us and all."

"Makes sense." Justin blinked slowly. When JC said nothing further he said, "I feel like there's a ‘but' in there somewhere. How do you feel? Do you want to repeat it or...?"

JC inhaled deeply and folded his hands behind his head. "I don't know, J. I mean there's a lot of potential for drama. I hate drama. And Casey, well..." His expression darkened momentarily. "She's kind of had a lot of drama already."

"But?" Justin prodded.

JC titled his head from side to side, glancing out the window before looking back at his friend. "But last night was, uh, good." His smile was small and almost secretive.

Justin grinned. "So what does that mean?'

"Right now, nothing. I asked her to talk after the show tonight and now I don't even know what to say." He sighed. "What do you think, man? I should just chalk this one up as a fluke and let it go, shouldn't I? For the sake of the tour."

Although he wasn't, chronologically speaking, the oldest in the group, JC was without question the most mature of all of them. Justin was amused, and strangely flattered, that his friend was asking his advice.

"What do you want? Not what do you think is the best thing for everyone else. What do you want as far as Casey is concerned? Honestly."

JC stared out of the window for a moment in silence. When he looked over at Justin again he was smirking. "Honestly? I'd like to take her to bed again and worry about what comes next later." The vehicle pulled up in front of the hotel.

Justin smiled. "Then tell Casey that, and take it from there. Something tells me she'll be on the same page."

The mischievous gleam had returned to Justin's eyes and again JC wondered what he and Casey may have talked about with regard to him.

Chris, Lance and Joey, along with all of their security, had gotten out of the other vehicle and he knew he didn't have time to pursue the matter further.

"Thanks, man," He said, climbing out of the vehicle. "I'm gonna hit the sheets for a couple hours. I didn't get much sleep last night." He grinned, nodded to the other guys, and, with one of their bodyguards following close by, headed for the elevators.

"Where's he going in such a hurry?" Chris asked as JC rushed past them.

Justin grinned. "He's uh, real tired, apparently. Guess he didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

"JC's tired. And in other captivating news, bears shit in the woods," Chris replied mildly.

Lance, however, caught the amusement on Justin's face and eyed him skeptically. "Why's he so tired? He went back to the hotel early. And he went alone."

"Yeah, well, he certainly didn't stay alone," the younger blonde quipped.

"Who was it?" Joey asked. "Did he hook up with a chick in the hotel?"

Unlike certain other members of the band, they all knew that JC was fairly picky when it came to the women he entertained while on the road. And although he was far from prudish, the likelihood of him hooking with a complete stranger he'd never laid eyes on before, without anyone even knowing, was slim.

"I'm not naming names, but you could definitely say that he hooked up with a chick in the hotel," Justin said in a sing-song voice.

Chris regarded Justin quizzically before his expression changed with sudden realization. "They finally got it of their system, huh?"

Justin burst out laughing, remembering he had used the exact same words.

"Who got it out of their system?" Lance asked, looking between Justin and Chris.

Joey looked confused. "But I thought Casey went out with you after the show?" he asked Chris.

"Casey?!" Lance's jaw dropped in surprise.

"She did, but she left early." Chris laughed, thinking of how she had huffed out of the club.

Lance shook his head. "Well, that escalated quickly."

"I'll say," Joey interjected. "How'd it happen?"

Justin shook his head. "I'm not saying anything else, man. He's probably already gonna be pissed at me."

Chris, still chuckling to himself, said, "Things just got abundantly more interesting."

Justin snorted and looked down at his watch. They were scheduled to call into a local radio show a few hours before the concert, to answer some questions and give away a few concert tickets and VIP meet and greet passes.

"What time is this radio deal?" he asked.

"Four," Lance replied. "We've got a couple of hours."

"Good, since apparently JC needs to make up for the sleep he missed out on last night."

At this, all four guys snickered.

***

When she got into the hotel room, the first thing Casey did was close the curtains. The tour buses had pulled away from their Greenville hotel at 7:30AM; it was after 3:00AM when she left JC's room and it had taken her some time to fall asleep. In the morning she managed to make it onto the bus before her dancers, and immediately closed the curtain to her bunk. Although they left her alone, the quarters were close and she could hear everything. She had a hard time doing much more than dozing off and on during the three and a half hour trip to Chapel Hill. Even if everyone on the bus had been completely silent, she wasn't sure she would have slept anyway.

Every time she closed her eyes she thought of kissing JC and everything else that followed. On the one hand, sex with him had been mind-blowingly fantastic. Despite the lack of interaction they shared on a regular basis, there had been no first time awkwardness while they were together. They seemed tuned into each other instinctively, and she was positive that he enjoyed himself just as much as she had. On the other hand was the issue that he had brought up in the midst of the argument that had preceded everything else. He mentioned the fact that she liked to party, and alluded to her taking random men back to bed. The truth of the matter was that regardless of what it looked like, she hadn't had sex with anyone since Tony left.

And beyond all of that, was Tony. And it seemed that where JC was concerned, all roads led back to Tony. Every time Casey's mind wandered to their first meeting, she literally felt sick to her stomach. She hated that the first time JC laid eyes on her had been under such humiliating circumstances. She remembered the way he looked at her when he came up behind Tony in the hallway.  What came next, of course, was just the crappy icing on a spectacularly shitty cake. She groaned aloud.

Despite all of that, however, last night had happened.

Keeping her clothes on, she kicked her shoes off and fell back against the bed, throwing one arm across her face. She briefly considering setting an alarm, but figured Jasmine would be back well before they needed to leave for the venue and she would make sure to wake her up. It wasn't yet 2:00PM and the show didn't even start until seven; Casey figured she had a minimum of three solid hours to sleep.

The door to the room opened and someone crossed the floor and stopped at the foot of the bed. "I know you're not asleep, so you can stop pretending," Jasmine said, falling on the bed next to Casey.

Without uncovering her face she said, "Dude, I'm tired. Get off my bed."

Jasmine hit her in the leg. "Not until you tell me what you and JC were doing last night."

Casey sat bolt upright, eyes wide. "What?! What do you...how did you..."

Jasmine gaped at her. "Holy shit! You really were with him!"

Her stomach dropped. So much for playing it cool. She lay back down and closed her eyes. "I don't want to talk about it, Jazz."

"Noooo, ma'am. You don't get to go to sleep now." Jasmine poked at her until she sat up again. "I want details. Mike saw you two talking backstage and we were kind of joking about you being with him last night, but I can't believe you actually were. What happened after you left the club?"

Casey sighed dramatically. "OK, but Jasmine, you can't tell Mike and Lawrence. Seriously. I don't want everyone to know."

Jasmine pouted. "That's no fair. We can keep it between the four of us."

She rolled her eyes. "No way. You know those two gossip worse than any teenaged girl." She crossed her arms over her chest. "I mean it. Whatever I tell you here doesn't leave this room, OK?"

Jasmine stuck out her tongue. "Fine. I won't tell them. What happened?"

Casey settled back against the pillows behind her. "I came back here and took a shower after I left the club but I couldn't sleep. I was...well, I was actually thinking about JC and the fact that he didn't come out with us and I was wondering if it was because of me. I went to get ice and something from the vending machine and we literally ran into each other.

"I tried to talk to him just to, like, try to ease some of the tension I always feel when he's around and we started arguing and he pissed me off and I followed him back to his room and I cussed him out and then..." She trailed off.

"Then what?" Jasmine pressed impatiently.

She took a deep breath. "Then he kissed me. Like, completely out of the blue, he just grabbed me and kissed me. And then he apologized for, well, I guess everything basically, and then...then, um, then we were in bed." Casey shrugged helplessly and studied her nails.

"Casey!" Jasmine squealed. "You had sex with JC last night? Shit!" She stared open-mouthed.

Casey grimaced but didn't say anything.

"Was he good?" Jasmine leaned over conspiratorially.

A small smile crept to Casey's lips but she shook her head. "I'm not talking about this, Jasmine."

Jasmine squealed again. "Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!! I can't believe I have to keep this a secret. Casey, how am I going to keep this a secret?"

Her expression darkened. "You promised. I'm serious, OK? We agreed last night that for the sake of the both of us, and the tour and just everything, it was a one-time thing. You can't tell anyone."

Jasmine flopped back on the bed. "You fucked JC Chasez. Oh my..." She sat up suddenly. "Dude, you should totally post anonymously on that one groupie sex story site."

"Are you kidding?"

"Seriously, girl, you should!"

"First of all," Casey began, making a face, "I'm not a groupie. Second of all...no. Just...no."

Jasmine was quiet for a moment, seemingly in thought. "Ok, well then give me the details and I'll post for you."

Casey hit her with a pillow. "Stop."

"Oh, come on, Case. Women are always wondering what they're like in bed. Give the women what they want."

She scooted back down on the bed and closed her eyes again. "What I want is to sleep. I'm tired. Can you leave me alone now?"

"No!" Jasmine exclaimed. "I want to know what happened backstage today, when Mike saw y'all being all secretive."

She blinked and looked over at the clock; her time to sleep was slowly but surely ticking away. "Nothing really. JC told me he wanted to talk later."

"You just said you agreed not to do it again. What do you have to talk about now?"

"I don't know; he just said he had some things he wanted to say to me."

Jasmine considered that for a moment. "He probably wants to bang it out again."

The thought had already crossed Casey's mind. The way he had looked at her, and the way his voice sounded when he whispered in her ear...she shivered thinking about it. "I don't know. I doubt it." But even as she said it, she knew it was a lie. "We already agreed that forgetting about last night was for the best."

Jasmine was thoughtfully quiet for a moment. "Is that what you really want?"

Casey chewed on my bottom lip for a moment while thinking. Up until that point, she hadn't entertained thoughts of what it was she might want, all other things considered. "It happened. And now I don't know. It was fun, but it probably shouldn't have. Because whatever it did, it's changed things. And I don't know yet if it's for better or worse."

Jasmine sighed. "Well, at least he was good, right?" She seemed to mull something over in her head for a moment. "How big is his-"

Casey threw another pillow at her before she finished. "I'm not talking about this. I have to sleep. Please go away."

Laughing, Jasmine replied, "Yeah. Of course now I have to meet up with Mike and Lawrence and pretend like I don't know what's going on. Even though my whole purpose in coming up here was to get information from you."

"Jasmine Flores," Casey said threateningly.

"I won't say anything! Shit!"

***

JC settled back against the bed with his hands folded behind him, eyes closed.

What do you want? Justin had asked him.

He wasn't particularly sentimental, being much more of a pragmatist at his core, and it had been a long time since sex with a woman had automatically led to feelings. Usually, those feelings came first. But after one encounter with Casey, here he was with feelings that felt vaguely...well, he couldn't quite put a name on what he felt. Although he had been honest with Justin when he said he wanted to take her back to bed, that wasn't the full extent of what he was thinking.

Casey tips her head back slightly as she laughs. Tony leans down and whispers into her ear, tightening his hold on her waist. For a second, her smile falters, but she seems to catch herself and plasters it back on her face.

A hand clamping down on his shoulder makes JC jump.  

"Take a picture. It lasts longer."

"What . . . what are you talking about?" He turns to face Joey and Lance.

Lance chuckles lightly. "You were pretty preoccupied there, JC," he points out.

JC's eyes flutter back to Casey who is now being led from the room by her boyfriend. "I'm . . . nope." He shakes his head for emphasis.

"Nope what?" Joey probes.

Lance smiles as JC averts his eyes.

"No, I wasn't preoccupied.  And why are you looking at me like that, Lance?"

"Don't change the subject," Joey interjects.  "Just admit it."

"What? Admit what?" JC eyes him suspiciously.

Joey smirks back at him.  "Admit that you like her much more than you dislike her."

JC had, naturally, vehemently denied anything of any sort for Casey. But he had definitely been feeling something, and not just disgust every time he saw her with her boyfriend. He let his breath out in a whoosh. He didn't need to figure anything out right now. He checked the clock and, seeing he had still had a bit of time before the radio show, he closed his eyes.  

***

Jasmine left her alone but Casey was unable to do much more than doze off and on. After an hour, she got up and decided to see what her dancers were doing. She slid her shoes, grabbed her keycard and walked out of her room. She got ten feet down the hall when she saw Justin approaching from the opposite direction.

"So you weren't gonna tell me, huh, Shorty?" He sauntered closer to her, blue eyes sparkling mischievously, a wide smile on his face.

Casey grimaced. "No. I wasn't planning on it. But apparently JC did."

He tossed his head back with a laugh. "Yeah, yeah he did. And he's gonna be pissed when he finds out I told you."

She shook her head. "It was a fluke, J. A one time thing."

He raised his eyebrows and cocked his head to the side. "One time, huh? You think?"

"Of course, I--" She stopped and studied him. "Did he say something else? About it being, um, more than one time or...whatever?"

Justin gave her a knowing smile. "Why? You want it to be more than a one time thing?"

She blushed and looked away. "I don't..." She inhaled deeply and let it out slowly. "Come here." Without warning she grabbed his hand and pulled him as she practically ran down the hall.

"Ok..." He let himself be pulled in the direction of her room.

She unlocked her hotel room door and practically shoved him over the threshold.

"OK, spill," she said, dropping his hand. "What did he say to you?"

He snickered. "Just that you two had an unexpected, ah...encounter. And that afterward you said you wanted to forget it happened." He raised an eyebrow at her and leaned back against the desk, arms crossed. "Is that true? You really want to forget it happened?"

She groaned in frustration. "Yes. No. I don't know! I..." She dropped onto the nearest bed and cradled her head in her hands. "Why is nothing in my life simple, Justin?"

He sat next to her on the bed and nudged her with his elbow. "This doesn't have to be that complicated, Case."

She looked over and cut her eyes at him. "I'm opening for you guys, J."

"In more ways than one, apparently," he mumbled with a straight face. She punched him in the arm. "Ow!" he exclaimed, laughing and rubbing his arm.

"Seriously. You guys are basically like, my employers. So I basically just slept with my boss. How fucked up is that?"

Still laughing he replied, "Don't think of it like that, OK? You and JC hooked up and it doesn't have to be a big deal if you don't want it to be. Just...you know, go with it."

"Go with it, huh?" She shook her head. "JC probably has zero respect for me."

Justin gave her a funny look. "C's not like that, Case. I mean...he slept with you. He's not judging you for it."

She shrugged. "Maybe he is, maybe he isn't."

"He's not. Trust me."

"So what did he say? The truth."

He grinned and looked at his watch. "I gotta go. But you should talk to him." He stood up and made his way to the door.

"Justin," she whined. "Come on! What did he say?"

He flashed her a brilliant trademark Timberlake smile. "Talk to ‘C, Casey. See ya!"

It was 10:20PM.

Casey's set that night had gone great. The issues she had been having with the changed dance steps were gone by the time she stepped out on stage. As always, her adrenaline kicked in and everything went smoothly. Her dancers were on point, and the crowd's response had been fantastic. With the dynamic team she had supporting her, it pushed her to give 110 percent every time. When the music began, everything but the show left her head-everything including JC.

But once she left the stage and was heading back to the dressing room, he caught up with her.

"Hey, you were awesome tonight!" JC smiles.

Casey grins back, still high on pure adrenaline. "Thanks. The energy out there is insane!"

"Are you sticking around?"

Most nights she and her dancers hang around to watch *NSYNC's show, but her exhaustion from the previous night has kicked in and she plans on going back to the hotel. She tells him so and he nods.

"I should be back in my room around 10:30; will you meet me there? I'm in four-thirty-six."

Her stomach somersaults, but she finds herself agreeing. "Yeah, sure." She smiles. "OK. Four-thirty-six. 10:30. I'll be there."

She was ten minutes out from meeting him and suddenly began to think that maybe being alone with him in his room wasn't such a good idea. Although Jasmine wasn't in the room right then, she would come back at some point. Maybe, with the threat of her return, Casey's hotel room was safer.  Then again, maybe whatever JC had to say had nothing to do with sex. And even if it did, maybe one more time wasn't such a bad idea. And maybe she wouldn't mind...

She glanced at the clock again; it was now 10:28. She took a deep breath and checked her clothes in the mirror. She had dressed casually after her shower, opting for what was her typical post-show uniform. Her leggings were black and yellow, paired with a fitted black tank top, and as was her habit, matching black and yellow sneakers were on her feet. After the heavy makeup she donned onstage, her offstage look was natural, with her hair pulled into her ever present bun. In addition to the silver ring that always adorned her left thumb, there were tiny silver studs in her earlobes. She took a sip of water and noted that it was now 10:31. She took a deep breath, verified that her keycard was in her pocket and left the room.

***

JC had just thrown some clothes on after getting out of the shower. It was 10:35 and he was glad Casey was a little late; at least, he hoped she was just late and that she hadn't changed her mind about coming. He splashed a bit of cologne on and brushed his teeth. Just as he finished, he heard a knock at the door.

He opened it to see Casey standing there looking more than a little nervous.

"Hi." She twisted at her thumb ring and smiled up at him before glancing down at the floor.

He stepped back for me to enter the room. "Hey. You've got perfect timing."

His hair was wet and she was glad she hadn't come at 10:30 on the dot. He wore an indigo colored tee and matching track pants. The color of his clothing made his bright blue eyes sparkle brilliantly. He was gorgeous, and at that thought her mind flashed back to the previous evening.

Willing herself to stop staring at him, she walked further into the hotel room. "So how was the show tonight?"

He licked his lips, and she was pretty sure he was watching her butt as she walked in front of him. She turned abruptly and, judging by the color that came to his cheeks, knew she caught him.

"Ah, yeah. The show...it was, um, good." He cleared his throat and she smirked. He walked into the kitchenette area. "Do you want something to drink? I've got, " he opened the mini-bar nestled under the counter, "pretty much everything."

"I'm good, thanks," she said, stopping about two feet from him.

JC casually leaned back against the countertop. "You can come over here," he said. "I won't bite." His grin was mischievous.

Casey smiled in spite of herself. "I distinctly remember teeth last night, so, um, I don't think I believe you." She took his suggestion, though, and sat down on the love seat that was directly in front of him. Crossing her legs underneath her, chin resting in her hand, she gazed at him expectantly. "So, what now, JC? You said you had some things you wanted to say."

He licked his lips and stared at her. He asked her to come by to talk with no ulterior motives. He wanted to talk about Orlando, and explain why, afterward, he acted the way he had. But now that they were alone and she was a mere inches from him, all he could think about was how her skin felt beneath his fingers. It was insane, really. For weeks he had done nothing but basically avoid her, and now, all he wanted was more of what he'd had the night before.

He came and sat next to her on the couch, placing his hand on her knee. He took a deep breath. "I want to kiss you again. And that's as far as I know right now."

***

"I'm out." Jasmine tossed her cards down. She yawned and eased her fingers through her hair, pulling through a few tangles. "I'm tired, too. I think I'm gonna turn in."

Chris, Justin, Lawrence and Jasmine had opted to play poker with some of the security team and crew, while Joey, Lance and Mike had gone out.

A buzz from her phone made Jasmine look down. She flipped it open to read the incoming text message and smirked.

Don't wait up. :-)

She typed a quick reply, not expecting a response. What happened to forgetting it ever happened? :-P

"What's so funny?" Lawrence asked, noticing her grin.

"Oh, um, nothing." She flipped her phone closed and straightened up.

Justin raised an eyebrow. "Who was that?"

"Casey." She smiled brightly.

"I'm out, too," he said, dropping his cards to the table. "Take a walk with me, Jazz." Without waiting for her answer, he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her up from the table.

"Dude, seriously?" Chris was obviously annoyed. "You can't just walk away from the game now."

"We'll be back," Justin replied with a backward glance.

Lawrence watched their retreating figures. "What's that all about?"

Chris shrugged. "Probably the fact that JC and Casey are conspicuously absent tonight, which is moderately interesting, if not expected, considering last night."

Lawrence regarded him suspiciously. "What do you mean 'considering last night?' What happened last night?"

Chris snorted. "The same thing that's probably happening right now." He glanced at his watch. "Or maybe it already happened; the show was over a couple of hours ago."

Lawrence's jaw dropped. "I can't believe she lied to us!" he exclaimed. Jasmine had met them back at the hot tub after talking to Casey, and told them she hadn't been able to get any information..

"We should've bet on when they'd finally hook up. Or maybe not. It actually took longer than I thought it would." Chris looked down at his cards. "Fuck it; I'm out, too."

"How'd you find out?" Lawrence asked, gathering up his chips. "JC tell you?"

Chris leaned back in his seat with his hands folded behind his head. "Nah, he told Justin and Justin, being the excellent keeper of secrets that he is, told us."

"So is it still a secret?"

"JC knows nothing stays secret on tour. Not to mention..." Chris shook his head and laughed. "It's not like anyone's surprised. Like I said, we should've been taking bets."

***

"What was that all about?" Jasmine demanded crossly, rubbing her arm where Justin had grabbed her. They were standing in the hallway outside of the meeting room they'd come out from.

"Sorry about that, but you know, don't you? About Casey and JC?" he asked, blue eyes sparkling mischievously.

Jasmine broke into a surprised grin. "JC told you?"

"Yeah, after soundcheck today. When'd Casey tell you?"

"Same time, after soundcheck. She was acting so weird and jumpy and just not quite there. And then Mike caught JC saying something to her backstage. We kind of joked about them maybe spending the night together, but I honestly didn't think they had." She laughed. "So, what'd JC say about it?"

Justin shrugged. "Just that it happened and that Casey wanted to forget it."

"Really? Because she made it seem like they mutually agreed to forget it."

He grunted. "Maybe JC agreed to it, but as of earlier today, he definitely did not want to. He's all for round two."

She seemed to consider that for a minute. "What do you think of them? Together I mean?"

He rolled his eyes. "I think they're both ridiculous and they deserve each other. They've been eyeing each other from afar this whole time."

"Seriously," Jasmine agreed. "I guess Tony kinda put on damper on things, though."

He shook his head. "I'm so glad that guy is gone, and not just ‘cause it means Casey and ‘C can hook up uninterrupted." He ran his fingers over the top of his blonde curls. "Is she OK from...all of that?"

"Your guess is as good as mine." She frowned. "She won't talk about it to anyone. Her mom wanted her to talk to like, a therapist or something. She says she's fine."

Justin nodded slowly and they were both quiet for a moment. "So, I kind of figured Lawrence and Mike don't know, huh?" he asked finally.

Jasmine shook her head. "No. Casey was all, ‘swear you won't tell them' but seriously, if everyone else knows I don't see why they can't know. And besides, now that she and JC are together again tonight, I'll be really surprised if this doesn't become a regular thing."

Justin smirked. "Knowing Casey, she'll try to rationalize it a few more times."

Jasmine was thoughtfully quite for a moment. "Justin, do you think...do you think it'll be more than a sex thing?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, brows knit together.

"Casey likes him. JC, I mean. No matter what she's said to the contrary, but after everything with Tony...I don't know. She's gotta figure that one out. But you've known JC for years so...what do you think?"

He shrugged and inhaled. "He likes her; I can guarantee that. What it'll mean long term? I don't know. JC's...he's hard to figure out sometimes. And they're both stubborn as hell. I guess it all depends on how honest they are--with themselves and each other."

Jasmine chewed her bottom lip for a moment. "Yeah. I guess we'll see what happens."

***

They were no longer on the couch, having left a trail of discarded clothing on the way to the bed. They were a tangle of arms and legs spread out across the king-sized piece of furniture. The blankets and sheets were twisted and hanging off the bed, and most of the pillows were on the floor.

"So much for talking." Casey sighed heavily. She ran her fingers through JC's hair as he kissed her collarbone.

"You were talking a moment ago," he mumbled into her skin. "Saying the same thing over and over, but--"

"Hush you!" She giggled, tugging his hair playfully.

He kissed her with a loud smack and rolled over to lay next to her. "I really did ask you to come up just to talk. I know it probably doesn't seem that way, but..."

She turned her head to look at him.

He folded one arm behind his head and watched her for a moment. "Did you mean what you said last night?"

"I said a lot last night," she replied evenly. He seemed to weigh something in his head before speaking again, and she waited quietly.

"We both said a lot last night. Including that we wouldn't do this again. And yet," he raised an eyebrow, "here we are. And I guess I just want to know if you meant it?"

Casey sat up to look him the eye. "I thought I did." She inhaled deeply. "You said something yesterday that's kind of been on my mind."

JC shook his head emphatically. "Casey, if you're talking about what I said before we...you know, I'm sorry and you don't have to--"

She touched his chest, effectively silencing him. "You mentioned Tony, and I'm just, uh--"

"Regardless of what I mentioned last night," he began, interrupting her, "I'm in no position to judge you for anything. And I don't, OK?"

She was contemplatively quiet for a moment. "Thank you for that. But I just want you to know," she stopped again and laughed nervously. "You mentioned the, uh, company, I keep and I just think you maybe have the wrong idea about me. I actually haven't...I haven't been with anyone since Tony. Until you, I mean." Her face burned and she kept her eyes in her lap, absently playing with the sheet there.  

JC's eyes slipped closed and he ran his hand across his face. He was, he decided, an asshole. It wasn't an issue really, who she was with after Tony. And he wasn't completely sure why he brought it up; he wasn't the sort of guy that judged a woman for doing the same things that he did. Knowing that there hadn't been anyone since Tony was oddly flattering, but it wouldn't have mattered one way or the other.

He sat up to move closer to her and raised her chin so he could look her in the eyes. "I'm sorry, Casey. For everything that I said and everything I implied. I don't even know why it came out. But this is between us. I don't care about anything before now."

Casey leaned over and kissed him lightly before pulling back. "Which brings me to my next question." She wiggled her eyebrows. "What is this, exactly? We kind of went from--"

"Zero to sixty in no time," he finished with a laugh.

She grinned. "Pretty much. Last night--and tonight, too, for that matter-- was--"

"Fucking fantastic," he interrupted again, his expression serious.

She sputtered. "Well, yeah, that. But that isn't what I was going to say.  I was going to say--"

"I don't regret it, Casey." He stared at her openly. "I know you said you wanted to act like it didn't happen, but...it did happen. And I like that happened and...I don't know."

She looked down at her fingers and smiled shyly.

"Hey, look at me." He touched her cheek. "I'm attracted to you, and in all honesty, I have been for a while."

She eyed him skeptically. "JC, you don't seem to like me very much. I mean, before last night. You ignore me half the time when I'm around, and the other half you grudgingly tolerate me."

"I-I don't..." He shook his head again. "That's not true. At all. I know how I've acted around you, but..." He sighed. "I just know that right now, this feels good, you know? This...whatever this is."

She nodded, seeming to consider his words.

"So...can we just...see what happens? Just explore it?"

"What are we exploring exactly? Sex or...?"

JC smirked. "Well, yeah. Definitely that."

Casey rolled her eyes with a grin and lightly hit his arm.  

"The way I figure it," he began, taking her hand, "We have quite a few weeks to make up for in terms of getting to know each other--and not just in the biblical sense."

"I'd like that. And, um, this is actually the perfect segue for the next thing." She wrinkled her nose and looked down.

He could see the mild discomfort on her face and he began to worry about what going to come next.

"We, uh, we've had sex twice now."

"Yeah..."

She squeezed her eyes shut and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Twice without a condom."

Realization dawned in his eyes and he nodded. "Yeah, that."

She looked up at him. "It's backwards as hell to have the conversation now, but I just--"

"I'm clean. I can show you the paperwork, if you want. I was last tested about a month ago, maybe a little less, and I'm typically very, uh, responsible." A slow smile spread across his face. "The last couple of nights have been, uh, something else.."

She heaved a sigh of relief. "I got tested right after...Tony...and I'm clean, too." She shivered. "And I trust you; you don't have to show me."

He nodded. "Same here. And you're on birth control, right? I mean, I assume that's what you meant last night."

"Yep. The shot, in my ass, every three months without fail."

"Sounds pleasant," he mumbled caustically, the mere thought of a needle enough to send a chill down his spine.

"Peace of mind is always pleasant." She took a deep breath and looked down at their still intertwined fingers. "So, um, that only leaves one more thing."

He raised an eyebrow. "What's that?"

"Everyone else. Namely, your band and my dancers." She stopped and looked at him guiltily.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I kind of already told Jasmine," she replied sheepishly. "But the fact is, there's no way we're going to be able to keep this a secret. Do we tell them or just..." She shrugged.

With a wicked grin, JC leaned over her, pushing her down. "Justin already knows, too, and if he hasn't already told the guys, when they see you leaving my room in the morning, they'll have an idea."

Casey pushed him back playfully. "Who said I was spending the night?"

"I did. Just now."

She laughed at his boldness.  "And what makes you think I want to?"

He moved up and kissed her mouth slowly, deeply. "Oh, I have a feeling I'll make it worth your while."

***

"I can't believe you held out on us!" Lawrence exclaimed as he and Jasmine took the elevator back up to their floor. "Why didn't you tell us?"

She grinned. "I couldn't, Lawrence! Casey swore me to secrecy. But that was also when she was saying that they weren't going to do it again. And we see how long that lasted."

"So what'd she say when she texted you?"

They reached his room first and hung outside the door for a moment.

"Just not to wait up. So I don't know if that means she's coming back to the room late or--"

"Not at all," he finished.

"I vote for not at all, but I guess we'll see. I'm tired; I'll see you guys in the morning." She began to walk down the hallway to her room.

"Hey, Jazz," Lawrence called after her.

"Yeah?" She turned back.

"If Casey comes back, text me. I want details."

She grinned and shook her head. "You really are worse than a teenaged girl. Goodnight!"

***

"So basically Jazz lied to us. And tonight, Casey's with JC again."

Mike rubbed at his closely cropped red hair. "So when I saw them backstage--"

"He was telling her he wanted to talk about last night," Lawrence finished.

"So how'd it happen? And what happened to her whole ‘I hate JC' routine?" Mike asked.

"Jazz says Casey didn't go into a lot of detail, although considering she lied about not knowing anything in the first place, I'm not sure I believe her. But apparently they got into an argument which somehow led to sex. Because, you know, that makes perfect sense."

Mike smirked. "It makes sense considering you could cut the sexual tension between them with a knife."

Lawrence laughed. "Seriously."

"So are they talking tonight or is everyone pretty sure they're..." Mike let the question hang.

Lawrence chuckled lightly. "Casey says they decided to let last night be a one-time thing, but...Jazz and Justin seemed convinced it won't be. I don't know."

"You know," Mike began slowly. "I mean, after everything with Tony, Casey's been doing a good job of pretending to hold everything together, but...I don't think she's really been OK."

Lawrence made a face. "That guy is such a piece of shit."

He nodded his agreement. "Definitely. And I think she needs something, or someone, to just kind of distract her from it. And I think she could do a lot worse than JC, you know? He seems...solid. She could use solid right now."

Lawrence turned the light out next to his bed. "I guess we'll find out tomorrow."

"Guess so," Mike agreed.

"Jazz did say that she'd be, I quote, ‘shocked' if Casey comes back tonight. I told her to text me if she does."

Mike laughed and turned his light out as well. "You gossip worse than they do, man."    

Casey's eyes fluttered open; JC was still sleeping up against her left side, snoring softly. She turned her head to read the clock; it was just before six in the morning and the alarm wasn't set to ring for another hour. She needed to use the bathroom but didn't want to wake him. She tried to gently extricate herself from beneath the arm he had tossed over her midsection. As she began to slide away from him and the covers, he stirred.

"Mmmm," he groaned sleepily. "You're not trying to sneak out, are you?" He tightened his grip on her waist and pressed her closer.

She giggled. "Yes, but only because I have to pee and I didn't want to wake you up."

He gave her a groggy smile that still managed to be sexy. "I guess I'll let you leave for that."

She slid out of bed and stopped to slip into the t-shirt he'd been wearing the night before, before heading into the bathroom. Once the door was closed behind her, she pulled the front of his shirt up to her nose and inhaled deeply. It smelled of softness and spice and sexiness and...JC. A little shiver ran down her spine and she smiled to herself.

Bladder emptied, Casey stared at her reflection in the mirror as she washed her hands. What am I doing? The question bounced around in her head for what seemed like the millionth time in the past thirty-six hours. The mirror held no answers; she dried her hands and smoothed her fingers through her hair, trying to pick through some of the tangles she'd amassed overnight. It was a rather unruly halo around her head and shoulders. After readjusting her bun as best she could, she grabbed the hotel-issue toothbrush along with JC's toothpaste. She brushed quickly, rinsed her mouth, and turned out the light.

"You're kind of ridiculously sexy first thing in the morning," JC said as she exited the bathroom.

She blushed, thinking the same thing about him. His hair was sleep-tousled and his eyelids were still heavy; even the indention in his cheek from the crease of the pillowcase was strangely enticing.

"I was thinking the same thing about you." She slipped back beneath the covers.

He stood up and stretched and she couldn't help but let her eyes travel the length of his body, stopping at the rigid column of muscle that was pointing almost straight up as he leaned back. She bit her bottom lip and stifled a laugh.

He looked down at his penis then back at her with narrowed eyes. "Bet you won't be laughing when I get back."

"Promises, promises." She smiled after him as he went into the bathroom.

Casey lay back in the bed with a smile on her face and listened to the sounds of him brushing his teeth from behind the closed door. She was very much looking forward to not laughing when he came back to bed and full blown desire blossomed low in her belly. She shivered, anticipating him coming back and making good on his promise. She turned toward his side of the bed and inhaled, smelling him on the pillows and sheets. The door opened and he emerged from the bathroom, glaring at her.

"What are you doing?" JC demanded as he got back in the bed, propping himself up on one elbow. He bit back the grin that was trying to spread on his face as he watched her eyes widen in confusion.

She was still wearing his shirt and the bun she had fixed in the bathroom was already beginning to come undone; curly tendrils were slipping and framing her face.

She raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

He leaned in close to her and brushed a few curls back behind her ear. "As sexy as you may look in my shirt," he began, voice low, "--and for the record, you do--I'm gonna need you to take it off. Now." He glanced at the clock and gave her a wicked grin. "We still have fifty minutes."

Warmth flooded her and she peeled the tee off with a smile. Before she could properly settle herself beneath the covers, his hands were roaming her body. He positioned himself over her and brought his mouth to hers. She reciprocated immediately, and found his tongue with hers. He groaned into her mouth and she shivered and molded her body tighter against him. Sighing contentedly, Casey ran her fingers through the spun silk of his hair.

His kisses were amazing. No sooner were his lips, moist and insistent, against hers that she was already desiring more of him. He kissed her like kissing was more than just a necessary prologue to the main event; he kissed her as if kissing her was a main event all on its own. He lightly sucked on her bottom lip and she shuddered against him. With one hand she pressed him closer to her, and her other hand traveled down his back, scratching lightly with her nails.

As he had drifted off to sleep the previous evening, JC briefly wondered if the morning would hold some awkwardness. So far, he noticed, nothing was weird at all. She was eager, and he liked that. Eager to touch him, eager to let him touch her. And very eager to give him soft, vocal encouragement that was more sound that actual words. He liked that, too.  

He kissed down her chin, to her neck and shoulders. He moved further down her body, fingers and lips on her breasts, and an amorous moan escaped her lips. It had been less than eight hours since the last time and he wanted her again, and he was turned on even more by the fact that she obviously wanted him. The smooth, softness of her skin was a delicious contrast to the firm tautness of muscle that ran beneath the surface; her body was sculpted as a result of many hours spent dancing and so far he was enjoying every inch.

She opened her legs further, allowing him full access. He kissed a path from one already erect nipple, up her breast, collar bone and to her jaw. Her breath came in sighs and melodic whimpers and her body trembled as he rocked his erection against her.

He nibbled her earlobe and whispered in her ear. "I can't get enough of you." He pulled back just enough to be able to look her in the eye, and held her hands above her head, intertwining his fingers with hers. He held her gaze as he slid inside her. She was hot and slick and tight, and he was sure that he wasn't going to last long.

A sound, part gasp and part groan, escaped her lips and her eyes slipped close. He moved against her, in and out, slowly and watched her writhe beneath him, the expression on her face full of pleasure.

Casey kept opening her mouth as if to speak, but all she could utter were vowel sounds with no consonants. He was, in a word, good. In more that one, he was fucking spectacular. He was fire and she was melting beneath the searing heat of his touch. She squeezed his hands, still holding hers, and raised her hips, pushing up to meet him He wasn't thrusting exactly, more like sliding, and every nerve ending in her body delighted as he shifted gently against her.

She opened her eyes and his blues were still trained on her, a light smile playing at the corners of his lips. "Wh-what?" she breathed out, with concentrated effort. She ran one foot along the back of his leg.

JC smiled. "I like...watching you," he said, his breath coming in rapid bursts. She shivered and wrapped both of her legs around his waist pulling him closer.

Their bodies were covered with a light sheen of sweat and for a moment they stared at each other as they moved together. After pulling her hands from his, she brought his head back down until their lips touched briefly. Their grunts and groans grew louder and she matched him thrust for thrust, back arched, pressing them closer together.

"You're so close, aren't you?" he growled lowly in her ear.

"Y-yes..." she stammered, feeling dizzy and slightly drunk.

He loved the effort it seemed to take her to get the words out, and the way she tightened her grip on his back. "You want me to go faster?" He pumped into her faster and harder and his moans began to match hers in volume and intensity.

"Y-y" she panted and tried again. "Y-yes..."

"Or maybe slower?" He pulled out slowly and with an effort that took every ounce of his willpower, he re-entered her slowly, slowly, inch by inch.

She let out an expletive laced breath and he chuckled despite himself. "Please," she breathed, trying to force him to move faster. "JC, please..." Her hands slipped down his back to his butt and she squeezed, still trying to force him to move more quickly.

Still keeping his rhythm determinedly languid, he looked down at her with a sexy grin. He knew exactly what she was asking. He put his lips right up against her ear. "Like this?" With that, he sped his thrusts up more and Casey's voice began to rise in pitch.

The sounds coming from her were somewhere between a shriek and a whimper. "Mmmm...yes...yes!"

She was loud and it made him hot. "Tell me," he panted, his hips a flurry of movement against hers. "I want to hear you say it."

His simple encouragement seemed to be all she needed. "JC...I'm...fuck...I'm coming..."

He continued to move inside her, letting the feeling of her contracting around him bring him up and over the edge. "Fuck, Casey..." He pumped his hips until he was spent and collapsed against her.

She lightly traced patterns on his back and reveled in feeling the full weight of his body against hers. They stayed that way for a few moments more, breathing heavily, hearts thudding almost in time with each other.

With a grunt, he rolled off of her and looked up at the ceiling. What am I doing? he thought. He snuck a peek at her, her chest still rising and falling heavily, little sighs coming from her, and he smiled. She was sexy as hell, and so far, that was enough. He was enjoying being with her; the rest of it, what came before and what might come later, he figured he would eventually figure out.

"Casey." There was an urgency in his voice, as if he remembered something important and he sat up suddenly.

The bed shifted and Casey felt the rustling of covers as he moved. "Hmm?" Her eyes were closed but she inclined my head toward him.

He touched her cheek. "Casey, look at me for a sec."

She opened her eyes at the insistence in his voice. "What's wrong?".

"Nothing's wrong, I just..." He stopped and seemed to contemplate what he was about to say.

She waited for a moment before saying, "You just what?"

He laughed and laid back down on his side, head propped up on his hand, facing her. "You kind of called me out the other night." When she looked as if she were going to protest he held up his hand. "No, you were right. I mean, yeah, I'm not a saint. I like beautiful women and I love sex and I have plenty of access to both nowadays."

Saying nothing, she watched him. He chewed on a fingernail in an absentminded sort of way.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is...with this..with you...it's not just that, OK?" He laughed. "You are most definitely a beautiful woman, and I'm thoroughly enjoying having sex with you, but...I would really like to get to know you. And, um anyway, I guess I just wanted you to know that."

"I would like to get to know you, too, JC." For another moment, they continued to look at each other, neither speaking. "I should probably get going," she said softly.

JC nodded. "We both should. Are you eating breakfast?"

She was starving, but she was also sure she wasn't ready to face everyone; she couldn't even imagine the jokes they'd be subjected to, even if it was all in good fun.

She snorted derisively. "I'll grab something on the bus.

He smiled sympathetically. "That's fine, but for the record, I can promise you that the other guys will be cool, ok?"

In all honesty, she thought as she began pulling on her clothes, it wasn't the other guys who worried her.

***

Lance rounded the corridor and almost walked smack into Casey and JC who had just stepped out of JC's room. "Lance!" she squeaked in surprise. "Hi."

"Mornin', Lance," JC said nonchalantly.

Lance smiled. "Hi. What's up?"

While Casey was visibly embarrassed, JC was completely unperturbed. "Breakfast, hopefully. I'm starving!" He put his hand on the small of Casey's back. "See you later, man."

"Later," Lance echoed, watching them head down the hall.

***

"Oh, here's the wanton woman now," Jasmine said into her phone as Casey entered the hotel room.

She stuck out my tongue and made a face. "Who's that?"

"Lawrence," Jasmine replied before turning her attention back to the telephone. "You can grill her for details later. We'll see you in a bit." She hung up and looked Casey up and down. Although she didn't say anything, she wore a self-satisfied smirk on her face.

"Why the hell are you looking at me that way?" Casey laughed.

"Did you get my text message yesterday?" Jasmine queried sweetly.

"Yes, I got your text, know-it-all," she replied, giving her the middle finger. She sat down on the nearest bed.

"So he asked you to spend the night, huh." It wasn't a question.

Casey rolled her shoulders and stretched her arms up, staring at her friend but saying nothing.

"I take it we're beyond the 'it just kinda happened and we have no idea why and it definitely won't happen again' stage then, huh?"

"I don't know, Jazz!" Casey exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air for good measure. "It's so...it's crazy, OK? Last night I figured it might be a little awkward or whatever when we woke up, but it wasn't." She couldn't help the smile that came to her lips as she thought up the morning. "Not even a little bit." She shrugged her shoulders. "I have no idea what the hell I'm doing right now! This makes no fucking sense. To go from Tony, barely two months ago, to...to whatever this is with JC." She sighed. "I'm insane, aren't I? Like, I literally need therapy right now, I think. Maybe my mom was right."

Jasmine smiled sympathetically. "I think you've been stressed lately. And as long as this thing with JC isn't stressful, why not go with it? And I don't think you need therapy, either."

"Anyway," Casey began with a shake of her head, "I take it Lawrence and Mike know."

Jasmine grinned. "Yes, but I didn't tell." When Casey looked at her suspiciously she continued, "I promise. Justin already knew and I guess he kind of hinted at it to the other guys and they all kind of figured it out. We all played cards last night and at some point Chris started talking about it to Lawrence and then Lawrence told Mike last night."

"You guys are like teenaged girls."

"And lately you and JC are like rabbits," she quipped. Laughing at Casey's disgruntled expression she went on. "Two nights in a row and you didn't think anyone would put it together?"

Casey threw a pillow. "No one put it together; you just said Justin told everyone!" She took a deep breath and rolled her eyes. "Whatever. We ran into Lance on the way out of JC's room this morning and I was mortified."

"Why? Because he knows you guys were banging it out? You're both adults. Adult people have sex sometimes. No biggie."

She made a face. "It's not that." She gestured vaguely in front of her. "It's just that...Tony was here and there was that whole thing and now, a few weeks later, there's JC and I just...I don't know."

"No one is judging you, Case," Jasmine began soberly. "What happened with Tony wasn't your fault and we're all glad that he's gone.

"And I can only speak for myself, but if anything, I'm happy that you and JC are doing whatever it is you're doing. You have a real, genuine smile on your face for the first time in a very long time. If you two do nothing but have fabulous sex for the rest of the tour, I'll be thrilled for you. And if it turns out to be more, well, then I'll be even more thrilled for you."

If it turns out to be more... Jasmine's words rang in Casey's ears. "It's way too early to even think about more," she said finally. "But you're right about one thing."

"What?"

"He is spec-fucking-tacular in bed!" Casey shivered and fell back on the bed dramatically.

"Are you finally going to give me details?" Jasmine asked impatiently.

Casey snickered. "No, because you're a gossip."

"I hate you," Jasmine joked.

Casey sat up. "It's only been a few times, but he's just...he's intense. And I don't even know. He looks me in the eye and it's like, unnerving and sexy as fuck all at the same time. And the way he talks to me?" She shivered again and stared into space.

"He's into dirty talk, huh?"

Casey shook her head slowly, brown eyes introspective. "Not exactly. Not like anything disrespectful. But, just like, he tells me how I make him feel and...wow."

"Casey, you're so full of shit," Jasmine said emphatically.

Casey's head snapped up. "Why? What do you mean?"

Jasmine threw the pillow Casey had thrown back at her. "It's too early to think about more? Isn't that what you said? You're so sprung on him it's almost funny."

Casey wrinkled her nose distastefully. "No!" She paused. "I mean...it is too early and just..." She trailed off.

"Except that technically, it isn't that early; you were into him way before this tour." Jasmine pointed out.

Casey took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I just don't want to be that girl, OK?"

"And what girl is that?"

"That girl who, like, gets attached and it's too quickly and for all the wrong reasons, you know?"

"And what are the wrong reasons?"

Casey rubbed her hands over her face. "I don't know. But I don't want to be that girl. We're having fun and that's good enough. I could use some fun."

Jasmine smiled lightly. "Whatever you say, Case." She looked at the clock. "It's almost eight; I take it you're not going down to get breakfast?"

Casey's eyes widened. "Hell no. I know they know, but I'm so not ready to see everyone. Especially not Chris and Justin; they're going to be the worst."

"They're going to be hysterical," Jasmine cackled. "The jokes will be epic."

Casey rolled her eyes and stood up. "I'll be on the bus."

***

"Man, she was so hot." Joey laughed.

"Which one was it?" Justin asked. "The brunette or the redhead?"

"The brunette," Joey and Chris replied in unison.

"How'd you know?" Joey asked.

Chuckling Chris replied, "Her dress was shorter, tighter, and her boobs were bigger. It was an educated guess."

Joey nodded, a huge grin on his face. "Yeah, well, I got her number. Told her I'd call her the next time I was in town."

And he would, they all knew, because that was just the kind of guy Joey was. It was no secret that Joey liked women, and his success in *NSYNC had afforded him access to an untold multitude of them. Joey's personal motto was that variety was the spice of life, and he was doing his best to experience as much of it as possible.

Joey was recounting his latest conquest when the door to the banquet room opened. They looked up to see JC.

He noticed all eyes turn to him and he shrugged. "What's up, guys?"

Chris smirked. "That's what we were gonna ask you."

"Yeah, man, you've disappeared after two shows now. What's going on?" Joey quipped with a wicked grin.

JC walked down the buffet line, peeking into each covered container before grabbing a plate. "I didn't disappear." He began loading his plate. "I'm starving."

Justin, though smiling broadly, remained quiet.

Chris snickered. "Vigorous activity will do that, isn't that right, Joe?"

"Oh, yeah," Justin joined in, nodding, "Joey knows all about vigorous activity."

"Seems like JC does, too, now, huh?" Joey raised his eyebrows at JC.

After grabbing some silverware from the end of the buffet line, JC joined his friends at their table. "Yeah, dude. Last night's show exhausted me." He began shoveling food into his mouth.

Chris, Justin and Joey exchanged glances. "So was this the public show that we were all in, or the private after-show that only you and Casey were in that exhausted you so much?" Chris asked, feigning concern.

JC shook his head and kept eating. "Thanks, Justin."

Justin burst out laughing. "Hey, man, I didn't actually tell them anything."

"It's true," Joey cackled. "When he told us you didn't spend Wednesday night alone, we all just kind of guessed it was Casey. It made sense."

JC stopped eating and gaped at all of them. "What do you mean you just guessed? How was Casey an obvious choice?"

The other three men groaned. "Come on now, JC," Chris began, "you've been pining after her since day one."

JC grimaced. Chris was right, but he didn't like that he was right. "I wasn't pining," he mumbled. "I don't pine."

"Oh, I think you were pining," Joey said jovially.

"Yeah, full on pining since she started the tour. I thought it would get better after Tony left, but it actually got worse," Justin explained.

JC rolled his eyes and went back to eating. "I don't pine," he muttered again. The other guys ignored him.

"So, what's the deal now? Was it a once and done deal or you guys like, a thing now?" Chris asked, stealing a piece of bacon from JC's plate.

"You mean twice and done, Chris. Or is it three times now, JC? Rumor has it she spent last night with you," Justin pointed out

"Oh, we're having sleepovers now?" Chris joked. "That's a pretty big deal."

Aaron, one of their bodyguards, entered the room. "Come on, guys; it's about to time to load up."

After finishing the bite he was working on JC replied, "We don't know what it is now. We'll see."

"I guess we will," Justin said with a knowing smile.

***

"I can't believe you weren't gonna tell us, Case!" Lawrence lamented.

They sat around the small table in the kitchenette of the tour bus; Casey was tearing into a bowl of Golden Graham's topped with sliced bananas. She and Mike sat on the side facing the front of the bus, while Jasmine and Lawrence sat opposite them. They all had drinks from Starbucks; Casey nursed a venti something-or-other with two extra shots. Lawrence and Jasmine ate pastries along with their coffee, and Mike had assembled a coarsely chopped fruit salad of apples, bananas, strawberries and blueberries that he paired with herbal tea. He was, by far, the healthiest eater among them and they sometimes ribbed him for it.

Music videos were playing on the large screen wall mounted behind Casey's and Mike's heads; the sound was muted and the only thing they could hear was an occasional muted laugh or cheer from way in the back of the bus; two of their bodyguards, Eddie and Malcolm, were in the back lounge area playing a new video game. Christoff, the other bodyguard, was seated up front near Sam, the bus driver.

Casey's phone vibrated in her hand and she looked down to see that JC had sent her a text message.

Just FYI: They all know. It'll be cool. Promise.

She replied. Thanks. L is reading me the riot act now for not telling first. It's like high school with these kids. ;-)

It's worse! Talk to you later. :-)

"You're not even paying attention, are you?"

Realizing Lawrence was talking to her, Casey reluctantly looked up from her phone with a sheepish grin. "Wh-What were you saying?"

Mike laughed. "No, she definitely wasn't paying attention."

"Obviously," Lawrence muttered.

"So, what are you guys going to do for the next two nights?" Jasmine asked with a grin.

"What do you mean?" Casey flipped her phone closed. "What happens the next two nights?" She spooned more cereal into her mouth and looked back and forth amongst her friends.

"We're traveling," Lawrence answered. "No hotel stays, so no nookie."

"Unless they get it on on the bus," Mike offered. "Tour bus sex would be hot. Kinda like the mile high club."

"We should call it the mile long club," Jasmine interjected.

"I thought the mile long club meant sex on a train," Lawrence said.

"Train, tour bus; it's sex in a moving vehicle that isn't a car," she replied.

"Is there a name for sex in a car?" Mike asked.

Casey cleared her throat, feeling her face grow hot. "There won't be any sex on any tour buses, kids. And thanks for your concern, but we'll be OK."

"I still wanna know why you didn't tell us, Case," Lawrence said. "We would've kept it a secret." He couldn't hide his smile.

Casey threw a wadded up napkin at him. "You're a liar and a gossip and that's why I wouldn't have told you." She chuckled. "It wasn't a secret, though. I just wasn't sure...what was going to happen next." She shrugged.

"And now you are?" Jasmine asked, eyebrows raised.

"No, I just mean, like, I thought it would be that one time and--" She stopped as everyone laughed. "What? Why are you laughing?"

Mike shook his head, grinning. "Casey, it's been obvious to literally everyone on this tour that you and JC were interested in each other."

"No way," she insisted, remembering their first meeting. "You guys don't even know. Anyway, I've gotta make a phone call--"

"JC?" Lawrence interjected with a smirk.

She shook her head and laughed. "No! I'm calling my family, nosy."

After clearing her spot, she left them sitting around the table and walked through the door that led to the narrow passage that housed their bunks. Before closing the door behind her, she heard the volume go up on the television.

There were two columns of three stacked bunks recessed into the wall, on either side of the narrow walkway. Her bunk was in the middle, on the left hand side, in the first column. She pulled back the black curtain covering her sleeping space, and launched herself into her bed. Having readjusted the fabric back into place, she pressed the small circular light mounted on the back wall to illuminate the dark. The light wasn't very bright, but it was perfect for reading and writing, which was how she spent a lot of time while they were on the road.

Her bunk was relatively neat; she rarely made her bed outside of changing her sheets, but other than a mass of pillows and blankets, the only other things she kept in the tiny area were some notebooks, writing utensils, and her MP3 player with headphones. She pushed everything to the bottom back corner of the bed and cuddled up with some pillows. She depressed the light again, and in the blackness, scrolled through her cell's phonebook, chose an entry and hit 'send.'

The phone rang once, twice, and a breathless voice picked up. "Casey!"

She grinned into the phone. "Matty! How are you, little bro?"

"Mom told me you called on Tuesday while I was in school; why didn't you call back?"

She laughed at the high-pitched whine in his voice. "I'm sorry, kiddo, but I couldn't. You know how it goes."

"Yeah," he grumbled. "I know."

"But I'm calling back now, right?"

Matthew was ten, and one of the people she missed most while on the road. Despite their significant age difference, or maybe because of it, she and her little brother had an incredibly close bond, and she missed him probably more than anyone or anything else while she was traveling.

"So where are you now?" He loved the idea of traveling the country by bus and she hoped that, once summer came, he would be able to join her for a couple of her tour dates.

"Well, we're on our way to West Virginia, but I'm not sure where we are exactly right now. We've been on the road for about an hour, I guess."

"What time is it?"

She smiled; every time they spoke he asked the same questions, wanting to know in which state she was, and whether or not they were in the same time zone. "I'm an hour ahead of you. And speaking of time, don't you have to be at school soon?"

He groaned. "Yeah, but mom's gonna drive me. If I had taken the bus I would've missed your call and who knows when you would've called back. I wish she'd just let me stay home anyway; we have some stupid assembly today."

"Oh, well that means less schoolwork then, right? That's a nice way to spend a Friday afternoon."

"I'd still rather just stay home," he mumbled.

"So," she began, changing the subject, "I'm counting down the days ‘til I get home."

"And that's soon, right?" His voice brightened.

"Yes, sir! A little less than two months, I think. And I'll be there for two whole days and nights, which means you have to plan something fun for us, OK? And, dude, we totally have to hit up Portillo's and Giordano's before I leave."

Second to her brother, Casey also desperately missed Chicago style hotdogs and deep dish pizza while out on tour.

Matty laughed. "Definitely. Are you gonna get to spend the night at home?"

She chewed her bottom lip; she wasn't yet sure but she didn't want to disappoint him. "I'll have to check on that, bud. But even if I can't, we'll still get to hang out, OK? And you get to see the bus."

He sighed. "Ok. Do you want to talk to mom before we have to go?"

"Yes, please. Love you, kiddo."

"You, too, Case."

She heard him calling for their mother in the background, shuffling as the phone switched hands, and then her mother's voice on the line.

"Hi, Sweetie, how are you?"

"Hi, Mom." She grinned into the phone. "I'm good; how are you guys?"

"We're great, honey. You know, same old, same old." Her mother paused a moment. "We miss you."

Casey closed her eyes, and tried to ignore the homesickness that hit suddenly and gnawed mercilessly at her. "I miss you guys, too. How's Dad?"

"He's good, working as usual. He's going to be upset that he missed your call again! He thought you were going to try to call last night; what happened?"

Shit, Casey thought. She had told her parents she'd call after last night's show, but JC had managed to push everything else out of her mind. "Oh, um," she stammered. "I, uh, got really tired after the show and ended up going straight back to the hotel to sleep." She hated lying , but there was no way she was going to tell her why she'd really forgotten to call.

"Are you sure you're alright, honey?" Her mother's voice was full of concern and Casey felt worse. Her mother and father had wanted to fly out to her immediately after the incident with Tony, and she knew they still didn't quite believe that she was OK.

"I'm fine, Mom, I promise. I'm actually feeling better than I have in awhile." That much was true; her time with JC had definitely raised her spirits. Still, she kept that part quiet.

"Well, you actually sound really good, honey," her mother admitted. "Tired, but good."

At this, Casey yawned loudly, and then laughed. "I'm actually pretty exhausted; coffee isn't even working now."

Her mom chuckled. "Well, you have a break coming up, don't you? Day after tomorrow?"

It was just like her mother to keep up with her touring schedule; if not for Matty, Casey was sure her mother would've tried to come on tour with her. Her mother also knew that when she had time off, she rarely took any down time.

"I want you to promise me you'll rest, OK, honey? Sit in the hot tub, or order room service and stay in the bed. Relax."

"I'll think about it, Mom." She chuckled at her mother's groan. "I know you need to get Matty to school, so I'm going to let you go. Tell Dad I'll call back tonight; I promise."

"Ok, Sweetie. I love you."

"Love you, too, Mom." She ended the call and stretched back in her bed. Before she realized it, she had drifted off to sleep.

The entire entourage of buses and trucks converged on Philadelphia, Pennsylvania after nearly six hours on the road. They'd made one pit stop that Casey had slept through; she was disappointed to find out that JC had been looking for her.

"I wonder what he wanted," she commented to Jasmine. "I mean, what exactly did he say?"

Jasmine smiled knowingly. "He asked where you were, and we told him you were asleep. I offered to go get you and he said to let you sleep and that he'd, and I quote, 'get at' you later."

Casey couldn't hide her smile.

Jasmine shook her head with a laugh. "I'm sure he will, too, but in the mean time let's get soundcheck done. I'm starving!"

***

The First Union Center was huge inside and out; there were a handful of dressing rooms as well as meeting rooms. The event staff had done a spectacular job of working with Everett to make sure that there was space for everyone to relax before the show, including a humongous spread put together by the craft services team. There had been a flurry of activity after soundcheck and JC hadn't yet had a chance to catch up with Casey. He was in a dressing room the size of a moderately spacious studio apartment, along with his bandmates and some bodyguards. Justin, Chris, Donnie and Eric were crowded around a TV playing Gran Turismo 2. Lance, Joey, Tiny and Everett were involved in a card game.

JC was perched in an overstuffed chair off by himself; Seal could be heard coming through his headphones. He had been dozing off and on but a particularly raucous cry from the gamers had awakened him. He sat up in his chair and stretched his arms overhead, yawned, and then looked at his watch; there were more than two hours before showtime, which meant he had at least an hour before they began their pre-show ritual. He placed his headphones on the table to his left and looked around the room and at everyone engaged in their various activities. Without being noticed, he slipped out of the nearest door.

***

Casey was in her dressing room with her headphones on; knowing she couldn't hear a thing, Jasmine got up to answer the knock at the door. She smiled and gestured behind her. "She's over there," she said to the not-completely-unexpected visitor.

Casey jumped at the tap on her shoulder and was surprised--and pleased-- to look up into a pair of blue eyes framed by long, dark eyelashes. "Hey." She slid her headphones off and around her neck and smiled. "What are you doing here?"

JC, dressed in a pair of baggy black warm up pants and a long sleeved white tee, scooted onto the couch directly opposite the chair she was sitting in. "I was dozing and then I wasn't, and then I decided to come see what you were doing." He glanced around the room. "It's a helluva lot quieter in your room than ours."

Jasmine cleared her throat. "So, um, we're gonna go. So you guys can...talk or whatever. Right guys?" She gave Mike and Lawrence pointed looks and they immediately nodded their agreement.

"Yeah. We'll be back later," Mike said.

"Much later," Lawrence added.

"You guys don't have to--" Before JC could finish his sentence the three dancers quickly vacated the room, leaving him and Casey alone. "--go." He looked at her and laughed.

"That's their not very subtle way of giving us privacy," she said with a wry smile. "Ever since they found out about us they've spent literal hours discussing the logistics of us having sex on the bus. And taking bets as to when it's going to happen."

He snickered. "Yeah, well, it wouldn't be the first time."

Casey raised an eyebrow at him. "You've had sex on the bus before?"

He grinned at the surprise in her voice. "I didn't say that; I just meant it's happened before."

She sat back in her chair, arms crossed over her chest, amusement on her face. "So you're saying you haven't had sex on your tour bus?"

JC averted his eyes, trying not to smile. "I didn't say that, either."

"So what are you saying then?"

"I'm saying," he said, biting his lip against the laugh that threatened to bubble over, "that I'm pleading the fifth."

Casey leaned over and poked his knee. "I think there's a story there somewhere."

"Maybe," he murmured in agreement, a smile at the corner of his lips. "What about you?" He noticed the way her eyes briefly darkened at the question.

"Nope," she said simply, leaning back against the plush cushions of the chair. "So what's up?"

Her brusque change of subject didn't go unnoticed but he let it go again. He shrugged. "It dawned on me that I have no idea what your pre-show routine is--outside of the part that you join us for."

After Justin, Chris, Joey, Lance and JC went through their pre-show ritual together and with their band, it was customary to bring all the available crew, from roadies to makeup and wardrobe, to the folks who handled staging and props, to the opening act or acts, if there was more than one, for a prayer, and a massive all-hands in pre-show yell, before the members of *NSYNC went around with the hacky sack. It worked to amp everyone up, as well as to remind each and every person there of how integral and important they were to the functioning of the whole.

"And I don't know." He held his palms up and smiled somewhat timidly. "I guess now seemed as good a time as any to come find out."

Casey watched him for a moment. "I'm glad you did," she said.   

"So do you have a routine? I thought I heard you singing when I came in."

Casey pulled her legs up to cross them in the chair. "Yeah, that's part of it," she nodded. "I go through some vocal warm ups and then we--Lawrence, Mike, and Jazz and me--do yoga."

He raised an eyebrow. "Yoga? Seriously?"

She laughed. "Yes, seriously. Don't knock it, dude. Mike's been into yoga for, like, ever, and it's just relaxing and stretching and, I don't know, it kind of calms me down before a show."

He nodded, eyebrow still raised. "Yoga, huh? That's cool." He paused a moment, staring into space, and then looked back at Casey with something like intrigue on his face. "So, um, I hear yoga makes you pretty flexible."

She threw her head back and laughed.

"What?" he asked wide-eyed. "I just...I've heard that, I mean."

"Have you now?" she asked, brown eyes sparkling.

"Yeah. Maybe you could show me something sometime. Some of the, ah, poses that you do."

She snickered at his completely innocent expression, knowing that the motivation behind the question was anything but. "Maybe."

He chuckled and for a moment, they stared at one another, not speaking.

JC finally cleared his throat. "So, um, I don't want to keep you if you have a whole thing that you do."

Casey shook her head slowly. "No, we've got plenty of time. Like I said I'm glad you came by."

"Me, too," he murmured. "Although I'd be even more glad if you weren't sitting all the way over there."

A shiver traveled down her spine and she looked up to see him gazing at her intensely. She inhaled slowly, pushed out of the chair she was in, and slid onto the cushion next to him. "Is this better?" she asked quietly.

He nodded, his fingers already on her cheek and moving to the back of her neck. "Much," he breathed, before leaning in to kiss her.  

***

On the road, each day blended into the one before it. For the next three weeks they drove from one city to the next, sometimes with a night or two stopover in a hotel, and sometimes straight through. In their downtime Casey and JC spent more time together, and not all of it in bed. They talked music and found they were inspired by many of the same artists. She introduced him to musicians he had never heard of, and he was all too happy to answer all of her eager questions about more of the behind the scenes side of the recording process. They talked about other things, and found a sort of kindred spirit in the other.

JC found her seemingly nonstop energy fascinating. She was always in motion, tapping a foot, pacing when she talked. And even if she was sitting, she was usually moving ever-so-slightly to the beat of the music that she said was constantly playing in her head. And she talked virtually nonstop. It was a quirk that occasionally exhausted him, but mostly he found endearing. She flitted from topic to topic, often interrupting herself in the midst of sentence to follow a thread of thought in another direction. Her external energy reminded him of the internal energy he had, that was often belied by his laid-back, quiet exterior.

JC was, Casey decided, something of a study in opposite. As anyone who ever saw him perform could attest to, onstage he was the physical embodiment of intensity and boldness. Offstage, however, he was calm, relaxed, and borderline shy.  Beneath that surface, she also found that he was a deep thinker with a lot of interests. As quiet and unassuming as he could be when in the midst of a group of people, she was intrigued with how different he could be one on one. When given the opportunity, he had lots of ideas about all sorts of things, and he loved to talk about it all. She enjoyed listening to him wax philosophically about world affairs and current events, art and music. She loved flipping through his photos of *NSYNC's international travels while he told her about the people they met, the sights they took in, and the food they ate. His perspective on his life experiences so far, positive and negative, and the way in which he wanted to impact the world with it all was refreshing and intriguing to her. He was, she thought, kind of a visionary. And one of the most genuinely positive people she'd ever met. He was also prone to rambling and moments of completely zoning out in the middle of a conversation. He was often on his own internal tangent and so was the last to get the joke. She didn't tell him, but she even found that adorable.

They were subjected to only mild ribbing, and it was mostly at the hands of Justin and Chris, and occasionally, in the form of a lewd joke or comment, from Joey. Outside of that, no one on the tour seemed particularly surprised that they were suddenly spending time together, and Casey was particularly vexed about it. Everyone seemed to take it as a matter of course.

"Um, Genevieve asked me to give this to you." Genevieve was the tour's hair stylist.  He knelt down next to his bag and stood back up, extending a bottle of conditioner toward her.  

Casey stared at the bottle for half a second before taking it. "Oh. Ok." She tossed it onto the bed. The night before she had mentioned to Genevieve that her regular conditioner seemed to be leaving her curls dry and dull and she asked if she had anything else she could use.

"How come she gave it to you?" She placed one hand on her hip. "I mean, not that I mind. It's just...well, she didn't mention it when she was doing my hair last night."

JC shrugged and sat heavily on the bed. "She said she forgot and she figured I'd see you before she did again so..." He picked up the bottle and looked at the ingredients.

"It's weird, don't you think?"

"The conditioner?" He blinked up at her, forehead wrinkled.

She smiled wryly. "No, just the...I don't know. No one really says anything about...us."

"What are they supposed to say?" He glanced at the conditioner again before setting it on the nightstand next to the bed.

Casey shrugged. "It's not that they're supposed to say anything. I just figured they would. Everyone knew, before, that we didn't like each other."

JC coughed and dipped his head. "I never said I didn't like you."

"You acted like it." She crossed her arms over her chest defiantly.

"I could say the same about you," he countered.

"If I acted like I didn't like you, it's only because you acted that way first."  

JC made a small sound of frustration and rubbed one hand across his face. "Casey, I--"

"Never mind," she said, shaking her head.

He watched her quietly for a moment. Whenever they came too near the subject of Orlando and what came before, she changed it.

She pulled her cellphone out of her pocket and began typing on it. "Why'd Genevieve think you'd see me before she would?"

"I didn't ask her, Case." He held his hands palms up and shrugged again. "I assume because we don't have a show tonight, which means you won't be in her chair again until tomorrow night."

"Yeah, but..." She stopped tapping on the keys and looked up at him expectantly. "How'd she know I would see you before tomorrow's show?"

JC cocked his head to one side and regarded her curiously. "I don't think it's any big secret that we spend most nights together."

"We don't spend every night together," she mumbled. "I, um..." She looked down at her phone again before looking back at him. "I have to get going."

JC blinked slowly and held up the forgotten bottle of conditioner. "Are you taking this with you?"

She smiled sheepishly. "I figured I'd be showering here later, so..."

"What was that about not spending every night together?" He smirked up at her.

She turned on her heel and waved at him as she headed for the door. "We didn't spend last night together, and after tonight who knows. We have a show every night for almost a week. See you later, JC."

***

After five straight nights of shows, they were in Charlotte, North Carolina with a night off and a hotel room. JC opened his eyes and looked at Casey still sleeping against his chest. His fingers absently skidded across her back. She stirred, and he thought she was going to wake up. Instead, she sighed and settled back down against him, keeping her eyes closed. They sometimes spent days on the road, stopping for a show, and loading right back up on the bus as soon as it was over. But usually, on the nights not spent on the bus, Casey stayed with him in his hotel room.

The past month was a whirlwind and he almost didn't want to analyze it too much. Whatever was happening, he was determined to sit back and just enjoy himself. And for the most part, he was thoroughly enjoying himself, while enjoying her. For the most part. But the longer he watched her sleep, the more the other thoughts began to creep in, little by little. The thoughts that wondered ‘what next.' The thoughts that told him that maybe things were moving a little fast, all things considered. The thoughts that still wanted to know what happened with Tony. With a sigh, he willed all of those thoughts away.  

She stirred again and mumbled something against him, bringing a smile to his face. Despite the drama of the first couple of months of the tour, he was finding that being with her was supremely easy, easy in a way he hadn't experienced in a long time. As much as he wanted to stay tangled up with her, he knew he needed to wake her. It was almost noon and if no one was looking for them yet, he knew they soon would be. Still, he figured he could get dressed and let her sleep for a little bit longer. It was his fault, he reasoned with a self-congratulatory smirk, that she was getting so little sleep these days. He tried to extricate himself from under Casey without waking her, without luck.

"Hi." She smiled, opening her eyes to look at him.

"Hi back," he said. He kissed the top of her head.

"I like this," Casey mumbled sleepily.

"You like what?" He was pretty sure he knew the answer, but he wanted to hear her say it nonetheless.

She froze, realizing she had spoken aloud. "Um, I just meant . . ."

He smiled. "I do, too." And he did like it, waking up wrapped around her. He liked it maybe more than he should have, considering the timing.

She bit her bottom lip and didn't move from her position against him.

"We should probably get up. It's almost noon." He didn't want to move anymore than she did, but it was time.

With a sigh, she let him up and rolled over to grab her phone from the nightstand.  "Lovely," she muttered. She sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"What's wrong?" JC yawned as he pulled on a pair of sweatpants.

She waved her hand vaguely. "Dara's been calling me. It's fine. She's in town today and I guess she's gonna be sticking around for the next few dates."

"Do you think you're going to tell her?" He stopped in his actions to watch her. "About this--us, I mean."

Casey yawned loudly. "What's Johnny said to you about it?"  

"Not much, really." JC pulled a shirt over his head. "Just, you know, that an unplanned pregnancy would be bad for our image so keep it wrapped up, et cetera."

She raised an eyebrow. "He said that? Really?"

JC blushed and scratched his jaw. "Not in so many words, but..." His manager's spiel had been a lot more colorful in actuality, but he thought it best to spare her the specifics.

He shrugged. "He asked what was going on with us," he remarked mildly.

"What'd you say?" she asked, glancing up at him from her phone.

"I told him I didn't know, which is the truth." He affixed his blue eyes on her and she very pointedly looked away.

Despite him bringing it up casually once or twice, they hadn't, in fact, decided what they were--if anything--as of yet, and Casey was clearly in no hurry to label it.

"Anyway," he began again, "he suggested keeping things on the down low for now."

She nodded. "Sage advice."

For a moment JC said nothing but he continued to watch her. He crossed his arms over his chest. "So are you planning on telling Dara?"  

"There's no reason not to at this point, I guess."  

"She's not going to be happy," JC said with a half smile.

Casey stretched before making moves to get out of the bed. "Yeah, well, I guess she'll have to get used to it."

He watched her get dressed for a moment. "Let's go out tonight," he said suddenly. "Just us."

"Are you asking me out on a date, Chasez?" She nodded slowly, the corners of her lips turning up into an amused smile.

JC grinned. "Yeah, I guess I am. As many times as you've let me hit it over the past few weeks I figure I at least owe you dinner." He dodged the pillow that she launched at him, howling with laughter.

***

Casey got out of the shower to the sound of her ringing telephone. She knew who it was and wanted to avoid answering until it was absolutely necessary. In the time she and JC rode the elevator down to her floor and he had left her at her hotel room, the same caller had tried had no less than four times. She dried off quickly and took a deep breath.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Where are you?" Dara demanded on the other end of the phone.

"I'm in my room drying off. I just got out of the shower."

"Casey, you're supposed to be--"

"I know where I'm supposed to be, Dara. It's just after noon." Unbeknownst to her manager, she made a sour face.

"The car will be at the hotel to pick you up at a quarter to one." Dara paused for a beat. "Should I even ask you where you've been?"

Casey closed her eyes. "Probably not now, but we can talk later. I need to finish getting ready, OK?"

"Fine. I'll see you at the studio."

Casey ended the call and flung the phone onto the bed. Her mind was spinning and she knew she needed to get her thoughts under control before going into the studio. JC was still on her mind, although it was now in relation to what Dara's reaction would be to the situation. The fact that he wanted to go out complicated things further. It was one thing for them to sneak around behind hotel doors and backstage hallways; being seen together in public was a whole new ballgame.

She shook her head and went about getting dressed.

***

"Ok, so try this part like this." The balding man at the piano played a few bars until Casey jumped in and sang along.

She was rehearsing a song with Rich Robinson. Since the tour had taken them to Charlotte, she'd finally had a chance to work with the popular producer at his home base; he'd been trying to get together with her for months, but there was always a scheduling conflict. Though he worked out of Los Angeles most often, he was from Charlotte and had a studio there. The timing worked out that they'd have a few hours to work while she was still in North Carolina, with plans to finish at a later date when the tour went through L.A.

What set Rich apart from most of the other pop music producers of the day was his training and study as a classical pianist; he was a musician first, and approached his songwriting and producing from that standpoint first. Casey was beyond thrilled to have a chance to get into the studio with him. He was at the top of her short list of producers she wanted to work with so she was excited and humbled to have the opportunity.

Rich had begun a song already with her in mind. He'd spent some time not only listening to her other recordings, but talking to her a bit. He knew her range, and had constructed the basic melody along with some of the instrument arrangements. He'd jotted down a few lyrical ideas, but, being aware of the control Casey had managed to keep over her music, was prepared to get her input. It surprised him, and impressed the hell out of him as well. She had a reputation for maintaining a superb level of musicianship, and he was looking forward to seeing what they could do together as a team. If all went well with one song, he was already planning the possibility of future collaborations.

After Rich played through the melody a couple of times, Casey began to input lyrical and musical suggestions. Within an hour, they had the song completed and set to work on recording a rough demo.

Dara watched and listened quietly from a loveseat behind the producer's rack as Casey took her position inside the vocal booth. She smiled as she listened to the young woman sing.

Casey definitely had the raw talent to make her mark on the music world, but Dara wondered if her impulsiveness and stubbornness would hinder her. So far, she had proven that in too many instances, she was headstrong and unwilling to play the game. When it came to the artistic part of her job, Casey gave a hundred and ten percent. However, on other matters, matters equally as important from a business standpoint, she was often so unyielding. Dara continued to sit silently, keeping her face clear of the distress in her thoughts.

***

"You sounded great in there," Dara said sincerely as she and Casey exited the recording studio.

Casey smiled enthusiastically. "Rich is amazing! It's like every time I was trying to explain what I wanted he just reproduced it! Like he was in my head, or something. That song is gonna be so hot!"

They got settled in the car and Dara continued to listen to the younger woman elaborate on the extent of Rich's musical genius. After a few moments, Dara switched gears. "So are you going to tell me where you were this morning? When you didn't answer your cellular I called the hotel room. Jasmine, not surprisingly, said she didn't know where you were."

Casey sighed; she'd been hoping to avoid this part of the conversation until much later, but she could tell Dara wasn't going to drop things so quickly now.

"What's going on with you, Casey? You've been distracted the last few weeks. Cagey, even."

Casey snorted. "Cagey?"

"Cagey," the older woman repeated calmly. "I call you, you don't answer. Or you do answer, but you won't tell me where you are or who you're with."

Casey rolled her eyes and frowned. "Are you managing my personal life or my career? Because as far as I can tell I'm still doing my job. The tour is going well; I'm sure Everett's keeping you in the loop."  

Dara sighed, not liking the turn the conversation was taking. "All I'm saying, Casey, is that a lot has happened in your personal and professional life these past few months. And yes, Everett's keeping me in the loop and your performances have been terrific, and you've kept up the pace wonderfully, especially considering...well, Tony. But I just want to make sure that everything is OK. And if there is a problem, I want to get a handle on it before it becomes a big one."

Casey crossed her arms over her chest. "There's been a lot on my mind, lately. And not just Tony and that whole shitstorm. But I feel good now. I'm OK."

"OK" Dara pursed her lips skeptically. "So, where were you this morning?"

Casey looked her manager square in the eye. "I was with JC. I've been spending, uh, time with him."

Dara raised an eyebrow and cocked her head to the side. "Come again?"

Casey stifled a laugh as she replayed certain parts of the previous evening in her head; she didn't think her manager would appreciate the joke. "JC and I...I guess we're kind of seeing each other. Sort of." She fiddled with the bottom of her shirt.

The older woman was quiet for a moment. "As of when? Because the last you said anything about JC it wasn't good." Dara looked at Casey pointedly.

"It's been going on for a few weeks actually and I know what I said." She shrugged and looked up. "It just different now, OK?"

"Because you're having sex with him?"

Casey flinched and shook her head emphatically. "No. Well, yes, but..." She threw her hands up in frustration. "I know how this sounds, OK? Believe me, I do. And I know that after everything with Tony it makes even less sense."

Dara breathed deeply. "Casey-" she began.

Casey interrupted with a raised hand. "Listen, I know what you're going to say. But trust me, OK? I'm fine. Everything will be fine."

"You know I don't think it's a good idea to mix business with...well, pleasure, if you'll pardon the cliche. Look at what happened with Tony."

"JC is not Tony." She massaged the bridge of her nose. "And there's also nothing I can do for him in terms of his career so the two situations aren't even remotely similar. And I'm a lot less naive about a lot more things than I was...then."  

"Then wasn't that long ago," Dara pointed out quietly. Sighing she said, "You're on tour with him, Casey. Under contract. What happens if things don't work out personally? Not to mention everything else. "

"Everything else like what?" Casey twisted her thumb ring absently.

"The part where you're a new artist, who happens to be young and female. He's very successful, and currently very famous. If it gets out there that you're seeing each other, and usually these kinds of things get out there, there's going to be...chatter. And there are going to be people who will insinuate that you've gotten to where you are because of who you've slept with.

"And although it's unfair, it's the nature of the business when you're a woman. Once you lose your credibility as a serious artist it's damn near impossible to get it back. And considering what happened with Tony..."  

Casey blew out a breath. "I hear you, Dara. I do. I just...I'll be careful, OK?" She turned her head to look out the window, effectively communicating that her participation in the conversation was over. 

Dara said no more, but she was anything but relaxed. She had a nagging feeling that Casey's impetuousness would get her into trouble. Sooner or later.

JC woke up horny.

While the other guys had made plans to make use of their time off, he decided to sleep. He had been dreaming about a very naked Casey. Nothing had happened in the dream yet, but it was about to, and he was a little disappointed to have been awakened before it did.

He turned off the alarm on the bedside clock to his right. According to the bluish numbers, it was just after five. He and Casey had decided to meet up at 6:30 and, having showered just before he went to bed, he figured he had plenty of time to get ready. Stretching his limbs out, he lay flat on his back and looked up at the ceiling, mulling things over.

No one would have ever described him as particularly impulsive; he liked schedules, and order, and continuity. His life consisted of goals, detailed plans to meet those goals, and lots of hard work. It wasn't that he never relaxed; it was just that even his downtime was relatively controlled. They all joked that although Chris was the oldest, JC was definitely the father of the group. He was mature, the level headed one. The one who didn't let the sometimes crazy nature of their lives affect him. He wasn't a stick-in-the-mud, or a prude; it was just that a lot of what the other guys thought was fun just...wasn't, for him.

In the very beginning, he had been the only one of them in a committed relationship. When he ended things with Kim, it had nothing to do with, as she suspected, the female frenzy created wherever *NSYNC went. It was a decision he made wholly based on the fact that his music and his group were the single most important things in his life, and he felt bad hanging on to a relationship that he had no intention of contributing to in any meaningful way. She accused him of cheating but he never had. There were some girls after her; a few were completely casual, and a couple were not. AnnaBeth had come next, and for nearly three years, she was it.

AnaBeth Carvalho was an undeniably beautiful lingerie model. He liked to listen to her speak in her native Brazilian Portuguese. He also liked that, as gorgeous as she was, she was driven. She'd put herself through college with the money she made from modeling. She was sophisticated and cultured, and maybe due to the fact that she was four years his senior, she seemed to know exactly what she wanted. Unfortunately, what she wanted, and made no secret of telling him, was marriage and kids and the kinds of things JC was nowhere near ready to think about. Conversations about the future made him uncomfortable, but he wanted to keep the peace in his relationship.

For awhile he was able to dodge AnaBeth's questions about the future with vague answers. Finally she told him, in no uncertain terms, that she wasn't getting any younger and that modeling wasn't going to last forever, and if she was going to invest anymore time in their relationship, she needed a guaranteed return in the form of a proposal and a sizable engagement ring. When he balked, she made the decision that they should go their separate ways shortly thereafter.

It was amicable enough, at least on his part. Though he'd spent the better part of three years with her, he wasn't as heartbroken about their breakup as people expected. He cared for her to be sure, and he enjoyed being with her. But although he had said the words, he was never one hundred percent that he was in love with her. Marriage, with all of the permanence it suggested, was not even in his peripheral thoughts, but on some level he knew that if it ever came to that, it wasn't going to be with her. At first that made him feel guilty, but when he heard about her engagement to a Moroccan businessman thirty years her senior, approximately two months after they broke up, he felt something more akin to resentment. Although that was something he kept to himself. The split happened a few months before the most recent tour had begun, and in the time since, JC had, as Casey pointed out, enjoyed the private company of more than a few women. He was licking his wounds, distracting himself. Even though he hadn't wanted to marry AnaBeth, it stung a little bit that she jumped into something so serious mere weeks after they ended. But he was still relatively picky about the women he spent intimate time with. Although he was inclined to see the beauty in all women as a general rule, there was a certain aesthetic he appreciated in a woman he was spending intimate time with.

JC was also controlled about the way in which he handled his casual hookups, not being a person generally given to excess in any way. Unlike certain other members of his group, namely Joey and Chris, he preferred quality over quantity, and he also had no patience for drama. He hated seeing pictures of himself in tabloids, and so he was always very discreet, usually choosing to spend time with women he already knew. He also mostly dated older women; they tended to be a lot less emotional and he could be a lot more upfront about what he wanted and expected. They were also less prone to becoming prematurely attached. He liked that.

But now there was Casey. And, prematurely or not, he was beginning to think that he was the one becoming attached. Despite the intense nights together, and the fact that they really seemed to click outside of that, she was content to keep things light. And he was more or less OK with going with it. For now. A small smile played on his lips as he recounted the past several weeks. He found it both amusing and a little ridiculous that no one else seemed to be the least bit surprised by what was happening between them.

He first heard about the new singer when she did a song with Busta Rhymes the previous summer. Justin and Chris had the opportunity to meet her when she performed at a show they attended in DC. They came back excited; she was, they both agreed, an extremely talented vocalist and performer. Her show was young, fun, and sure to keep the crowd hype in preparation for *NSYNC; they immediately suggested she open up for them on tour. Having had the chance to hang out with her for a bit, they assured the others that she was super cool and they'd all like her. Justin had also pointed out, at least a couple dozen times, that she was hot.

Her sound was more urban than theirs and her debut CD boasted some some well-known names producing and guesting on a couple of her tracks. But there was so much genre overlap in pop music these days; they were confident *NSYNC's audience would enjoy her, and soon details were worked out for her to join the tour.

In between the last date of the previous tour and preparation for the new one, they all took a bit of downtime in Orlando. The label held a celebratory private event downtown club as a kind of congratulations for their very successful tour. Casey, a few other artists on the label's roster, and various VIPs were invited to the party. JC was late; never one to miss an opportunity to collaborate, he had gone into the studio with a couple of his local musician friends.

By the time he got to the club, introductions had been made, the music was loud, the alcohol was flowing, and the dance floor was crowded; none of his band mates were in sight. He had finally found Johnny talking to a guy he had never seen before. Johnny introduced the guy as Tony Brown, Casey's musical director; he'd be joining her on the tour. JC was pretty laid-back and generally non-judgmental about people. But that first impression of Tony left a bad taste in his mouth. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something about the guy rubbed him the wrong way. Unfortunately, his initial intuition was proved true later.

His cell phone rang, interrupting his thoughts. He grinned when he saw the number. "Hey. I was just thinking about you."

From the other end, Casey smiled. "Yeah? What were you thinking?"

His thoughts flitted back to the dream he'd been in the midst of when the alarm went off. "I was thinking that I'm really looking forward to seeing you tonight." He glanced at the clock; it was now a quarter to six. "We're still on for 6:30, right?"

"Um, that's actually why I called you," Casey began timidly. "I know you said you wanted to go out, but would you be OK if we just stayed in? We could order room service or...I don't know."

He was completely fine with the prospect of spending the evening in his hotel room with her, but there was something about the tone of her voice that concerned him. "Sure, room service is fine. But, um, is everything all right?"

Casey sighed. "Yeah, it's fine. I just...I'll just come to your room at 6:30, OK?"

JC agreed and they got off the phone. Assuming she had talked to her manager by now, he wondered what she had to say to him. He got up to get ready.

***

Casey applied a little more lipstick and looked at her reflection in the mirror. "Is this OK?" She turned to face Jasmine.

"¡Que linda, mami!" Jasmine exclaimed from her spot on one of the two beds.

"!Gracias!"

Jasmine stacked a few pillows up and leaned back against them. "When are you meeting him?"

"In about fifteen minutes." Casey smoothed her hands down the front of her dress and sat down on the other bed, facing her friend. She glanced at the clock.

"And after you get to his room, how long do you think it'll be before that lovely dress of yours is crumpled on the floor?" Jasmine deadpanned.

Casey giggled. "About fifteen minutes." She took a deep breath and sobered. "Dara thinks this whole thing is a bad idea."

Jasmine twirled a jet black lock around her index finger. "She's supposed to think that. It's her job."

Casey absently pulled at some strands of her own hair, which was flat ironed straight down around her shoulders. Offstage she usually pulled her hair back and kept her makeup to a minimum. Tonight, however, she decided to go for a slightly more glamorous look. Even though she and JC no longer had plans to go out, she put on what she was originally planning on wearing, opting for a pale yellow strapless sundress.

"I know it is, but still." She groaned. "She brought up Tony today. And the fact that I need to avoid anymore...drama."

Jasmine made a little snort of disgust. "JC and Tony are nothing alike. No matter what happens between you two, nothing could be as crazy as all that was."

Casey's dark eyes clouded over at the memory. "Hmm." She shook her head, seeming to rouse herself from her thoughts.

"Case," Jasmine said softly.

"Yeah?"

"You really like him, don't you? JC, I mean."

Casey rolled her eyes. "It's been a few weeks, Jazz. We're like...fuck buddies basically."

"Fuck buddies?" Jasmine laughed sarcastically. "Fuck buddies don't have sleepovers. And you've spent how many nights with him over the past few weeks?"

Casey scowled. "Fine. Friends with benefits, then. And I don't spend every night with him."

Jasmine looked down, frowning. "Most of them, though," she mumbled. She looked up again. "Anyway, you didn't answer the question. You like him, don't you?"

Casey chewed her bottom lip, seeming to consider the question. "I...am playing it by ear."

"And what about JC? Is he playing it by ear, too?"

"I don't know." She spun her ring around her thumb. "I haven't asked him and he hasn't volunteered."

That wasn't, she thought guiltily, strictly true. Although he hadn't come out and directly asked her, he'd made it clear on more than one occasion that he was thinking about it. But, Casey thought defiantly, Jasmine didn't need to know all of that.

Jasmine smiled. "Fair enough. But I think JC's a good guy and..." She trailed off, not sure what to say. "It won't be like Tony. Let Dara worry; you just have fun."

Casey sighed and looked at the clock again. "I should go." She got up and headed for the door.

"Hey," Jasmine said softly. "Are you OK, Case?"

Casey straightened her shoulders and flashed a brilliant grin. "Yeah. I'm fine." She grabbed her purse and, with a small wave, she left the room, not exactly feeling fine, but ignoring it for the time being.

***

Standing outside JC's door with Dara's words still floating around her head, Casey felt ill at ease. She took a deep breath and knocked.

JC opened the door and whistled low. "Wow. You look beautiful." He smiled and pulled her into the room.

"Mmm," she breathed as he kissed her. She pulled away. "You look pretty wow yourself."

He wore a lightweight white button down, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The top few buttons were open, exposing the Leo necklace he was never without. His jeans, a dark wash denim, were perfectly tailored to his thin frame. His dark hair was expertly sculpted.

"Thanks." He grinned down at her. "So, now that you're here I have an idea; I know you mentioned room service, but I would hate to waste how amazing you look. There's a restaurant here in the hotel and it's supposed to be pretty good; what if we go there? It's a kind of a compromise between going out and staying in, right?"

She nodded. "Sounds good."

***

The restaurant was fairly busy and they hadn't called down for a reservation. Several other people were waiting for tables as it appeared that all available space in the restaurant was taken.

"Room service after all?" Casey suggested as they stood in the vestibule outside.

JC looked around and noticed that the hostess was trying to get his attention. "Maybe not." With a hand on the small of her back, he led her over to the hostess' stand.

The young blonde had a huge smile of recognition on her face. "Oh my gosh, you're JC Chasez!" she exclaimed with a heavy southern accent. "I'd heard you were staying here, but..." She took a deep breath and seemed to try to steady herself. "I'm sorry. I'm a huge fan and--" She stopped again, eyes wide, and noticed Casey for the first time. "Casey Whitaker! Are you guys like, together?" she asked incredulously.

"Uh, Allyson," JC began politely, noticing her name tag, "we just want a table, if that's possible?"

Her face reddened slightly and she straightened up. "Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. That's totally none of my business. Um..." She looked down at the seating chart on the podium in front of her. "Hold on one second." She turned and picked up the phone that was on the wall behind her shoulder.

JC looked down at Casey, noticing the wariness on her face.

Allyson turned back to them after hanging up the phone. "We'll have a table ready for y'all in about five minutes." She looked up shyly. "Um, could I have your autograph, please? Both of y'all?" They agreed and signed napkins for her. "By the way," she drawled before they moved away from her stand. "if y'all are together, y'all make a really cute couple."

***

They were seated near the back of the restaurant at a table nestled into a secluded alcove. The picture window directly behind them offered an unrestricted view of the gardens surrounding the property; tiny white lights lit up the trees and bushes, adding sparkling ambience to the scene. The decor was muted honey and celadon. A heavy curtain hung in the archway, separating the small room from the rest of the restaurant visually, and adding a bit of a sound barrier as well.

Casey studied the menu with her thoughts elsewhere.  "...usually these kinds of things get out there...are y'all...together?" What am I doing? Her thoughts swirled as her stomach churned.

JC stopped in the middle of the small talk he was making when he realized that she was not hearing any of it. "Casey. Casey?"

She looked up to see JC's blue eyes staring quizzically at her. "Huh?"

"Are you all right? You seem a little out of it."

She smiled self-consciously. "I'm fine. I'm, uh, just hungry." She mentally crossed her fingers while telling the white lie. The menu boasted contemporary American cuisine with a French influence and although everything sounded amazing, she was finding it difficult to concentrate.

"Are you sure that's all?" JC asked quietly.

She had agreed to come down to the hotel's restaurant easily enough, but ever since she came to his room that evening, he noticed the bemused expression that hadn't left her face. So far, everything between them had happened naturally, and effortlessly. But now, staring at her across the table, there was a distance that he couldn't account for.

Casey finally met his eyes. She opened her mouth to tell him, yet again, that she was fine, but something about the way he was staring at her made her stop. "No," she said softly, surprising even herself with her honesty.

"Ok," he began slowly, "do you want to talk about it?"

Their server interrupted at that moment to take their orders and in the few minutes that it took, JC's thoughts raced as he tried to anticipate what she might be about to say. He was positive that in terms of the physical nature of their burgeoning relationship, she was more than happy. He was also fairly certain that she was enjoying the time they were spending together as much as he was. Then he remembered that she'd spoken to her manager earlier.

Food and drink orders placed, and the curtain tucked safely back over the private space, Casey sighed. "I told Dara about us. And I made it clear that it's going to continue to be an ongoing thing," she started. "But she's, um, concerned about some things and, honestly...I am, too."

He nodded slowly. "Like what?"

Casey's stomach was in knots; after what Dara had said, the hostess recognizing them the way she had and bluntly asking if they were together, made her feel exposed in a way she didn't like.

She closed her eyes briefly and gave her a head small shake. "I'm not like you, JC."

"How am I?" He raised one eyebrow.

"You're...structured. You're so obviously a rules guy."

"A rules guy?" he asked indignantly, making a face.

"You know what I mean. Like, the way you never come out with us after a show if we have an early morning. And you're always the guy who knows exactly where the next show is going to be. And when I watch you during soundcheck--"

"You watch me at soundcheck?" he interrupted with a crooked grin.

She blushed and ignored his question. "You're always the one who's always right on time and right on the mark and just...you're that guy. I bet you don't even speed."

He laughed lightly. "What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing's wrong with it. Someone has to be that guy. The thing is." She stopped and took a sip from her water goblet. "I'm not that guy."

"Oh, really?" he retorted with a sly smile.

She stuck her tongue out at him before continuing. "I do whatever pops into my head and worry about the consequences later. I'm not structured, or orderly. And I definitely speed."

He chuckled and waited for her to continue, running his finger along the rim of his glass.

"We agreed to just see what happens with this...thing that's going on with us. And mostly, that's fine with me. But it's just..." She absently twisted at the silver ring on her thumb.

"My manager knows. And your manager knows. And freaking everyone on the tour knows. And we're here. And we're in public. And this is...this is different. This is other people--people that we know--knowing what we're doing behind closed doors. And it's potentially a whole lot of other people that we don't know, speculating. And normally, I don't care about any of that. But tonight when Allyson asked if we were together like that it just made me feel...exposed."

JC lightly played his finger around the rim of water goblet. Just as he was about to speak, their server returned with the Pinot Noir they had chosen to go with their meal, as well their hors d'oeuvres. Once their wine glasses were filled, the server assured them that their entrees would follow shortly, and again left them alone in the alcove.

Casey took a deep gulp of her wine. "I just can't afford any more drama. And you're nothing like Tony so I'm not saying it's the same thing, but..." She took another deep breath. "I have to tread lightly. For the sake of my career. And I guess I just need you to know that, OK?"

JC swirled the wine in his glass for a moment before looking up at her. "Casey, I'll be honest with you: I don't care about people knowing--or thinking they know--what I'm doing behind closed doors or who I'm doing it with. One of the things I've learned about this business is that someone is always going to have something to say about something you're doing, or something they think you're doing.

"But," he paused and leaned a little closer to her. "This business is stressful enough; this part--us--this should be easy and fun. I'm having a lot of fun with you, and I'm willing to tread as lightly as you need me to."

She felt every bit of tension leave her as he said those words. She moved in closer to him and brushed her fingers across his. "You are...unexpected, JC," she whispered.

Remembering her words from their first night together, he took her hand and kissed her palm. "Sometimes unexpected can be great."

***

They stood in the elevator side by side, comfortably silent. At some point JC had slipped his fingers into hers and he was thinking about how remarkably normal being close to her felt; without her seeming to take notice, he stared down at her, wondering what she was thinking.

He pushed the number nine on the keypad and Casey snickered. "So you just assume that I'm coming back to your room tonight, huh?" Although they were usually on the same floor, this time her room was on the floor below his.

"Aren't you?" he asked with a cocky grin.

"Yes, but you know what they say about assuming." She smiled back at him.

The doors opened on the ninth floor and they made their way to his room. Once inside, Casey dropped her purse and JC wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in tight against his body. "You look amazing in that dress," he whispered.

"Thank you." She closed her eyes as his breath tickled her ear.

"I bet you look even more amazing out of it," he said with a straight face.

Casey threw her head back with a laugh and he kissed her neck. She felt light-headed and slightly intoxicated. Though they had finished the pinot noir at dinner, she knew what she was feeling had nothing to do with the alcohol. Every time he touched her or kissed her, or fixed those gorgeous blue eyes on her, she felt the same way. It enticed her, excited her, and also made her feel vaguely anxious.

The last eighteen months of her life had been an insane crazy whirlwind; most of it was wonderful, but some of it wasn't. She was hoping that JC would fit into the former category, but she couldn't be sure. And she wasn't sure she could handle him fitting into the latter. His hands were unzipping her dress and she decided to stop thinking.

"I want you so bad," he breathed before crushing his mouth against hers.

Casey moaned against him, returning the kiss as fervently as he was.

"You have no idea how hard it was for me to keep my hands to myself downstairs." Kissing her neck, he began guiding her backward further into the room.

She was covered in goosebumps up and down her skin, as was the case whenever he touched her. And sometimes, even when she just anticipated him touching her. Her stomach fluttered and she shivered involuntarily. They'd been doing this for weeks now, and every time she felt like, as cliche as it sounded, it was the first time all over again. He turned her on in ways that no one had before.

They made their way to the bed and JC turned her around so that her back was to him. He unzipped her dress and, after she kicked off her shoes, helped her step out of it. "Casey," he groaned, taking in the sight of her.

Her lingerie was the exact same pale yellow shade as her dress, and the almost see-through lace left very little to the imagination. She knew when she was putting it on that he would absolutely love it; so far, she was right.

"You like?" She licked her lips and smirked at him.

He guided her again until she was facing the mirror on the wall opposite them. "You are so sexy."  

Their eyes met in the mirror. The intensity of his blue eyes staring at her so naked with passion and desire, left her feeling untethered. She was breathing heavy, nearly panting, and he hadn't even done anything yet.

Not breaking their eye contact, he cupped both of his hands around her breasts while still trailing soft kisses along her shoulders and the back of her neck. When his teeth lightly grazed the sensitive skin behind her ear, Casey's eyes fluttered closed and a soft moan escaped her.

"Open your eyes," he said huskily against her ear. "Watch."

She opened her eyes and watched with lustful fascination as he unclasped her bra and let it fall to the floor. He placed his hands back over her breasts, eyes still trained on hers, and she covered his hands with hers. He pulled her tighter and lightly grinded up against her, expertly rolling her nipples gently beneath his fingers, and she dropped her head back against his shoulder. She could feel his growing arousal through his jeans; and though her desire was less physically evident, she was positive she had never been as turned on as she was in that moment.

They continued to stare at each other in the mirror. Kissing her neck, JC removed one of his hands from her breasts and ever so slowly walked his fingers down her body until he reached the top of her panties. They were lacy and strappy, and exposed much more than they covered. He briefly played with the top of them before sliding his hand down further, further right to where she most wanted his touch. With a smirk, he began rubbing her through the thin material.

Casey's breath caught in her throat and her legs started to tremble even as her chest heaved. "I'm not going to let you fall," JC promised against her ear, keeping up a gentle rhythm.

She opened her mouth to respond him but could only whimper in reply. Her breathing quickened as his fingers worked their way under her underwear, and her breath hitched when he slid two fingers inside her. She had told him before that his fingers were magic, and she thoroughly believed it was true. Maybe it was his skill on both the piano and the guitar, but when he touched her, he seemed to always know exactly how and where to touch her to make her feel unglued. He always found the perfect spot, with the perfect amount pressure and the perfect rhythm.

"This feels good, right, Baby?" he whispered against her.

His voice was husky and deep and sent heat all through her. She was watching him, fighting against the urge to let her eyes close, looking back and forth between his eyes, so steadily fixed on hers, and his hands working magic between her legs.

Between the sound of his voice in her ear as he told her how much she turned him on, the energy in his eyes and the sheer eroticism of watching it all in a mirror, it wasn't long before Casey began to feel that familiar build up.

JC could feel her body tensing and trembling against his. "You're close aren't you?" She opened her mouth to speak again and still, only small whimpering sounds came out and she nodded fiercely. He bit her ear gently. "Not yet," he said as he removed his fingers.

Casey's jaw dropped. "The fuck?" she swore, chest heaving.

He smiled coyly and brought her back over to the bed. "Lay back," he commanded.

She propped herself up on the pillows and with one hand and no warning, he peeled her soaking underwear away from her body and discarded it on the floor. He eyed her with a cheeky grin before bringing his mouth to her inner thigh. He dragged teeth and tongue and lips across the delicate skin of her leg, moving purposely up to the juncture of her thighs.

Casey let her eyes close and concentrated on every sensation he evoked from her. He'd already brought her close in front of the mirror and she knew she wasn't going to last long with his mouth on her. As his mouth found her, she ran her fingers through his hair and let out the breath she didn't even know she'd been holding in a whoosh. His tongue alternated between insistent nips and flicks, and a steady massage, and she rocked her hips to his rhythm. Using his lips to suckle at her gently, he slid two fingers back inside of her. Slowly bringing them in and and out of her he looked up at her for a moment.

"Tell me when you're there, Baby. I want to hear you."

Before she could respond she felt his tongue against her again and all coherent thought left her head. With his free hand, JC held her hips down, keeping his face between her legs. She pulled at his hair and moaned his name repeatedly.  

Her skin was flushed, like she'd been running, her eyes squeezed tight. She arched her back and he kept her from bucking on the bed. Her breasts were up in the air, each nipple hard and aimed at the ceiling. She gasped, her body trembling violently, her toes curling up tightly.  Not letting up on his attack, JC glanced up, loving the sheer pleasure he saw on her face.

Her release coursed through her in waves of electricity that seemed unending and all she could do was gasp his name over and over in a sort of frenzied mantra, until she could breathe normally.

No sooner was her breath regulated than he hovered over her, smirking. "I love watching you come," he murmured, bringing his lips, still wet with her arousal, to hers. She kissed him almost greedily before he pulled away to look at her. "You make the sexiest faces."

Casey laughed. "I make faces? That sounds...terrible." He rolled them both over so that she was on top. She sat up to straddle him, and began unbuttoning his shirt.

"No, it's not terrible. It's ridiculously sexy. You close your eyes really tight and then you--"

"JC!" she squealed. "I don't want you to tell me what my ‘o' face looks like! You say it's sexy; I'll take you at your word."

"Ok." He sat up so that he could discard his unbuttoned shirt. "Well, you sound really sexy when you come, too. And I can always tell when you're close because it doesn't matter how loud you are before--"

"I make faces and I'm loud. Thanks." She leaned over, dragging her tongue and lips along his jaw.

His hands settled on her breasts, where his fingers explored slowly. "What? Being loud isn't a bad thing. You're not like, crazy loud. You're just vocal. That's a good thing; I like to know when I'm doing something you like and you always let me know. Loudly." He tugged at her hair and groaned as her teeth grazed his neck lightly. "Anyway, when you're close you always--"

"JC." Casey sat up suddenly, resting her hands on his chest, and looked down at him sternly.

"What?" He stared at her, eyes narrowed.

"You're still wearing your pants, underwear, socks and shoes. And you're talking far too much. Instead of telling me how sexy I look and sound when I come, how ‘bout you get naked and make it happen again. Now."

He grinned as he pulled her head back down for another kiss. "You're kind of impatient when you're horny, Casey."

"Mmm." She moaned into his mouth, her fingers working on unfastening his belt. "You've said that before; clearly it doesn't bother you much."

"Clearly," he grunted, pushing his pants down.

***

Casey disentangled herself from a sleeping JC and got out of bed. After slipping on the nearest shirt she could find, she stood at the foot of the bed and watched him. He was on his back and his diaphragm rose and fell rhythmically; he looked peaceful. She turned and went over to the window. After opening the curtains just enough to peek out into the moonlit night, her mind began to wander.

The past few weeks with him had been a wonderful, much needed distraction. She genuinely enjoyed the time she was spending with him, in and out of bed. But it hadn't escaped her attention that things were moving rather quickly. For the months previous they had barely exchanged expected pleasantries and now...now she was spending yet another night in his bed.

Justin thought it was funny, saying that he knew they were going to end up together one way or another. But this way was not necessarily the way she wanted it. It felt different, but it reminded her far too much of Tony. And that was a subject she wasn't quite ready to revisit.

"You OK?"

Casey looked behind her to see that JC was sitting up, eyeing her with heavy lids. She smiled. "I'm fine. Go back to sleep."

He gave her a sleepy grin and lay back down. Within seconds, he was snoring softly.

After another few moments of standing in silence she rejoined him in bed. She sidled up next to him, sliding one arm across his stomach. Without waking he shifted, bringing his arm out to wrap around her and pull her closer. A few moments beyond that, she was asleep.

Another day dawned on the road; there were many miles and several hours yet to pass before they would reach their destination of Columbus, Ohio.

"You're going down, old man!" Jasmine exclaimed as her player ran down the field a considerable distance before being tackled; she was still in possession of the ball. She and Malcolm were playing Madden NFL on the Playstation as everyone gathered around the back lounge area to watch.  

Casey's phone rang in her lap, and she smiled when she saw the name flash on the display. She flipped it open and put it up to her ear. "Hey!"

"Well, shit; you're actually answering your phone! I figured I'd be talking to voicemail again," the feminine voice on the other end exclaimed.

"I know you've called a few times. I've been...busy." The volume in the small room increased as Jasmine scored against Malcolm and everyone cheered. "Hold on a sec, Jada." Casey exited the lounge, sliding the pocket door closed behind her. She passed through the bunk area, closing that door as well, and took a seat at the table in the kitchenette. "Ok, I can hear now. So how are you, girl? What's up?"

"Same shit, different day." Jada sighed. "School, work, etcetera. But I didn't call to talk about me; what's up with you? How's...everything?"

Jada Devlin was Casey's oldest friend. She was also Jasmine's cousin and had introduced the two a couple of years before. She and Casey became instant best friends on the first day of first grade, and despite the fact that the Devlin family moved out of state shortly before the start of junior high, they maintained their friendship through emails, letters and phone calls, as well as occasional visits. Now that Jada was in college in Nashville and Casey was busy with her career, the visits were less frequent, but the advent of SMS messaging meant they still kept in touch.

"I'm good...things are good," Casey began slowly.

Jada was the one person who knew the entire story of how things had gone with Tony, and as such, she knew she could speak freely with her. She was also one person who would, no holds barred, tell Casey exactly what she needed to hear, whether or not she wanted to.

"I, um...I did something. Well, I guess more accurately, I've been doing something. Because it's been kind of ongoing for a few weeks now."

"Hmm," was Jada's mild reply. There was no sense in trying to draw Casey out; when she was ready to spill whatever it was she had to spill, she would.

"I'm, um." Casey took a deep breath. "I'm kind of, um...sleeping with...JC."

"Chasez?" Jada sputtered from the other end.

"The one and only," Casey muttered.

"Ok, what? Since when? I thought he hated you. Or you hated him. Or...whatever. And what do you mean weeks, Casey? Why the hell am I just hearing about it now?"

"Jada." Casey exhaled heavily. "Chew me out for not telling you later, OK? Right now I need your advice."

Jada grumbled for a bit more before sighing. "Fine. But...how? I mean the last time his name even came up it wasn't in the most positive way. Forgive me for being a little mind blown right now."

Though her friend couldn't see it, Casey rolled her eyes impatiently. "It just...happened. One night. After a show. I ran into him and I...wanted to try and maybe clear the air."

"Orlando finally?" Jada was the only person who knew what JC had witnessed between Casey and Tony.

"Yeah, well, that was the plan. We, um, we started arguing."

"Okaaaay," Jada replied. "And at what point do we get to where you're knocking boots?"

"That's just it, Jada. We pretty much went from arguing to not arguing and in bed in a matter of minutes. And we've been going back to bed ever since."

"Damn, Casey." Jada whistled. "If you've been banging for a few weeks I'm assuming he's lived up to all of your many fantasies?"

Casey snickered. "You can most definitely assume that."

"Well, they say that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. I could think of worse people to get under than JC," Jada quipped. "Although I personally would've chosen Justin but, different strokes and all... So what's the problem?"

"It's just that..." Casey sighed and propped her elbow on the table. "How would you define friends with benefits?"

"Uh, a friend you like getting naked with, with absolutely no strings attached." Jada's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"I mean, like...practically speaking. Do you hang out a lot when you're not getting naked? And after the deed is done, do you stick around and spend the night?"

Jada snorted indignantly. "That's not a friend with benefits. That's a-- Oh, shit! Do you spend the night with him?"

"Not...always," Casey said defensively.

"People in relationships have sleepovers, Casey. What's going on with you guys?"

"I don't know, Jada. I'm so fucking confused right now." She pouted and leaned over, resting her forehead on the table. "I've been spending a lot of nights with him. And it's like, everyone around us just expects it or something."

She twisted furiously at her thumb ring. "Doesn't this sound familiar to you? Just a little bit?" Casey could hear Jada's groan of disatisfaction on the other end.

"It's not the same thing, Casey," she said simply.

"And yet you know exactly what I'm talking about so--"

"OK," Jada began hurriedly, "on the surface you could say that. But you know as well as I do that this isn't the same thing. It's not even for the same reasons."

"How do you figure? Because it sure as hell looks pretty much exactly the same."

"Is JC an asshole?"

Casey grinned despite herself. "No."

"OK then. Any similarities to past events are purely coincidental." Jada whistled softly. "Wow. You and JC Chasez are a thing."

"We're not a thing," Casey said quickly. "I mean...not really."

"So what are you?"

"Fuck." Casey slapped the tabletop. "I don't know. I told Jazz we were fuck buddies and she literally laughed in my face. And she's right because he's...it's more than that. But..."

"But what?" Jada prodded after a full minute of silence.

"I don't know," Casey mumbled.

"You're a liar." Jada laughed. "I've known you far too long, Casey Whitaker. So do me a favor: bullshit everyone else if it makes you feel good, but don't bullshit me And more importantly, don't bullshit yourself."

Casey scowled into the phone. "What the hell does that mean?" Jada snorted but didn't respond.

"I like him, J," Casey said in a small voice. "I mean...I think I do. But it's only been a couple of months. And maybe everything is all tied up in the fact that we, you know, are having sex. And I just don't want to be the type of chick who gets all mixed up in her feelings because of some kisses and cuddling."

Jada snickered. "You're doing a lot more than cuddling, honey."

Casey sighed. "I'm making a big deal out of this, aren't I?"

"Yes," Jada said quickly. When Casey groaned she laughed. "You always do this, Casey. You leap before you look and for the most part, things seem to work out for you."

"For the most part," Casey muttered. They both knew to what, and whom, she was referring.

"Casey," Jada began quietly. "Have you talked to anyone about what happened when Tony...when he left?"

Casey straightened in her seat. "There's nothing to talk about," she said flatly. "He's gone. End of story. There's no point in rehashing ancient history."

"Casey--" Jada began.

"Jada, I'm fine, OK? I don't need to talk to anyone about it."

Jada was quiet for a moment. "Are you having fun now? With JC?" Jada asked.

"I...yes."

"And he's having fun with you?"

"I think so. Yes."

"So keep having fun then."

Casey was quiet and Jada knew her friend well enough to know that in her silence, she was likely brooding. "Well talk to JC, then."

"About what?" Casey asked snappily.

"About what's going on between the two of you. Label it if you think that'll make you feel better."

As if she could be seen through the phone, Casey shook her head emphatically. "No, Jada."

"Why not?"

"Because..." Casey was back to twisting her ring. "Because I don't want him thinking that I'm over here analyzing every fucking thing when it's not even that big a deal. Because I don't need a label."

"I mean," she continued, without a breath, "he's kind of brought it up, sort of, a couple of times but it's more because like, Johnny--that's his manager--has asked a few questions and probably because the other guys kind of joke about things, but I know he doesn't really--"

"Breathe, Casey!" Jada interrupted.

Casey sighed. "I don't need a label, OK? I don't want a label. I just want to make sure that I don't make another mistake. That's all."

Jada said somberly, "Tony was...he was a wrong decision you made for the wrong reasons. I'm not saying that to judge you, OK? I'm just saying... Go with your gut, because when you make decisions for the right reasons, you make right decisions."

"You really think so?" Casey asked diffidently.

"I've known you a long time. Trust me."

Casey stared down at the table in front of her, tracing the pattern of the faux-woodgrain with the tip of a finger. "If you say so," she mumbled.

***

Normally JC bunked with Justin and Chris, but this time he was riding on a bus with Joey and Lance. It was a temporary arrangement, as the veritable menagerie they kept on the bus was growing somewhat overwhelming for him; the assortment of animal sounds and smells were beginning to get to him.

He was currently distracting himself with the song that was writing itself in his head. He sat in the rear lounge with a notebook and pencil in hand. He jotted down the last lyric that was clear in his mind and proceeded to drum the pencil against his chin. He looked up when the door slid open to see Lance.

"Whatcha writing?' Lance's deep southern drawl asked as he took a seat opposite JC.

The brunette shrugged. "Just some stuff that popped into my head. The muse is gone, though, I think."

Lance nodded. "It'll come back. It always does."

JC grinned, stuck the pencil behind his ear, and shut the notebook. "What's up?" He focused bright blue eyes on Lance's clear green ones. He could tell that something specific was lurking behind the steady, placid gaze.

"I just wanted to ask you something," the blonde said finally.

"OK..."

"I know the guys tease you and Casey with the whole ‘boyfriend and girlfriend' thing, but I was thinking...y'all have gotten pretty serious pretty quickly, huh?"

To their own amusement, and Casey's chagrin, Justin and Chris had taken to referring to her as such; true to his laidback nature, JC was unperturbed. He laughed it off, or ignored it completely.

He scoffed. "I don't know how serious it is." Truthfully he wasn't sure where Casey stood on the issue. He had thoughts on it, but she never seemed to want to discuss it. For the time being he was content to let things be.

Lance eyed him quizzically, with not a hint of judgment. "You spend a lot of time together for it to not be at least kind of serious." JC shrugged noncommittally, saying nothing and the younger blonde continued to study him closely.

The brunette smiled a little, one corner of his mouth turning up ever so slightly. "I like Casey. She's like...the energizer bunny."

"Too much info!" Lance drawled, with a grimace. "I want to be able to look her in the face next time I see her."

"I didn't mean it like that, man." JC laughed. "I just mean her enthusiasm doesn't quit, you know? She's excited about everything and she's interested in everything and she's just... I don't know. She's a cool chick. I like hanging out with her."

"If you're trying to convince me that whatever's going on between the two of you is strictly casual, you're not doing a good job." Lance smiled slightly.

JC shook his head with a wide grin. "I think she's great. I just...she's got a lot of baggage, and I don't know if she's ready to unpack it all."

"Has she told you about what happened? With Tony."

JC sighed heavily. "She won't talk about it; I've tried to bring it up a few times and she shuts me down."

Lance momentarily looked out at the passing scenery before turning his attention back to his friend. "Hmm," he hummed before turning his feline green eyes back to JC. "I know he hurt her, but do you think he, you know, hurt her?"

JC knew exactly what he was hinting at. There was some chatter after the incident that ended in Tony being ousted from the tour; no one knew exactly what happened in the hotel room. But that didn't stop people from speculating and wondering. The police took him away in handcuffs and though he had heard that she protested bitterly, Casey was whisked away to the hospital immediately after. No one but the two people who had been in the room knew what exactly had transpired; Tony was gone and Casey wasn't talking.

"I saw him get physical with her once before," JC said in lieu of directly answering his friend's question. Lance raised his eyebrows and he continued. "Right before she came on tour with us. That party the label threw, remember?

"I was coming out of the bathroom and I heard fighting. When I walked around the corner he was holding her by the arms and shaking her. I mean...I heard her tell him that he was hurting her. And she was crying."

Lance's eyes widened. "What'd you do?"

"Nothing, really." JC looked down, drumming his fingers against his thigh listlessly. "I mean I asked if everything was OK and she looked..."

"She looked what?" Lance prodded when several moments had passed with JC's silence.

The brunette looked up sharply. "She looked embarrassed. And I remember thinking that if anyone should've been embarrassed it should've been Tony. I caught her eye and she looked away." He blew out a breath. "He practically dragged her down the hall, away from me. They left after that."

Lance nodded slowly. "She told everyone she didn't feel well; I remember. I guess she didn't...after that."

"After he was gone--from the tour, I mean-- I kept thinking about Orlando. Maybe I should've said more that night. Or maybe I shouldn't have let him pull her away like that. Or maybe I should've told someone." He shook his head. "Casey's smart and she has it together and I just...I don't understand how or why she stayed with that guy."

Lance shrugged. "I don't know. But maybe...maybe she doesn't have it as much together as you think she does." He shrugged again and stood up. "I think we're playing cards up front, if you're in." With that, the blonde left the lounge, closing the door behind him.

JC sat quietly for a moment, still tapping his fingers on his leg and contemplating his friend's words.  

***

Casey was exhausted in every possible way. The past three nights of shows had depleted her physically, and there were two more to go before a break. It took her by surprise when, that first night on the bunk, she realized that she missed JC. Loathe as she was to admit it, sleeping next to him had become more than a little comfortable. But now, as her eyes closed almost involuntarily, she thought spending some nights away from him was maybe a good thing.

She drifted, lulled by the motion of the moving wheels, considering the upcoming visit to Chicago. They'd be spending two full days and overnights in the city, and she hadn't made a decision about whether or not to tell her family about him. She was a little worried about what her parents would think about her being involved with someone so soon after Tony, especially considering, well, considering everything that had happened with him. Her parents still didn't know the full story. Her dad had let it go, but her mother kept asking questions. It was obvious that she didn't quite believe that Casey was completely OK. And maybe she wasn't, but there wasn't time to dwell on it. There was the immediate day to day focus of the tour, and interviews, and photos. And there was JC.

Voices that sounded suspiciously like Jada and Jasmine floated in her head as she existed in that weird space between sleeping and waking. Voices that suggested that she was feeling something for JC that went beyond lust.

She shivered at that thought, a peculiar sensation growing in the pit of her stomach.

She didn't have a lot to compare him to sexually, not really. Her history wasn't, in the strictest sense, particularly long or thrilling.

Nikolas was her first. They started dating as freshmen, and the next year, after deciding that they were in love and would be forever, they lost their virginity together. It was, she thought, the perfect story of young love finally consummated. He was sweet and clumsy and she was shy and nervous. Over the next two years he wasn't as clumsy and she wasn't as shy, and sometimes it was absolutely lovely with him. But she was always quiet when her friends described rockets and fireworks; sex with Nik was pleasant and enjoyable, but it didn't make her toes curl or send chills down her back. When he went away to school and she stayed near home, they briefly tried to navigate a long distance relationship before mutually deciding that they needed to experience other things, and other people.

In the aftermath of her breakup with Nik, Casey set to make experiencing other people a reality. A couple of months later she met Jeff. He was the cute drummer friend of a guitar player she sometimes wrote with. They made out at a bonfire and drum circle in the country after too much liquor and too much weed. Though he asked for her number she figured he'd never call; when he did, and she realized he was just as good-looking when she was sober, they started hanging out. It didn't take long for her to realize that they had almost nothing in common. Despite that, he was hot and she was newly single, and although Jeff had a tendency to come too quickly, he was also more than eager to go down on her. Oral sex, and an extremely willing partner, was a whole new horizon for her and for awhile, she enjoyed it. After a few months of sex and other stuff, he told her he thought he was falling in love with her; she told him she had no room in her career for a serious relationship.

Derek was a local rapper. They ran in similar circles and crossed paths on a number of occasions. Eventually she sang a hook for him and they subsequently hooked up. He was cute and talked a good game, but much like his rapping, he was wack in bed, and it was made worse by the fact that he had the nerve to brag about their encounter to anyone in their social circle who would listen. Casey set the record straight about his lack of skill between the sheets, and the lack of size in his pants. And he quickly stopped mentioning her name. She vowed never again to have a one night stand.

Finally there was Tony. She was eighteen and he was...older. He was more experienced and she liked that. He was intense and aggressive, and it turned her on, at first. He told her what he liked, and how he liked it and let her know in no uncertain terms how much he liked it. He took control sexually and in the beginning she enjoyed that about him. He seemed to always want her, and although she wouldn't have admitted it then, it fed her ego. She thought it was sexy when he touched her intimately while she was on the phone and got her to hang up with whomever it was on the other end. Or when she had some place to go and he chose the exact moment she needed to leave to push her up against a wall for a quickie.

He couldn't, he told her, control himself when she was around and mostly, that made her feel good. At first she was in the mood for sex whenever Tony was, at first.  And that was good, because she quickly found out how volatile Tony became when she wasn't. He never forced himself on her, not exactly. But he also never quite took no for an answer. He just wouldn't let up until she finally said yes. And she always did. After awhile she decided it was easier just to be in the mood whenever he was--whether she was or not. Sex became a series of sloppy kisses and forceful thrusts until he reached orgasm.

JC was fantastically different. And sex with him was more than just a distraction. It was more than her pretending to be interested because he wanted it. She wanted him at least as much as, if not more, than he wanted her. The simple thought of his lips or his skin or his touch was enough to make her wet.

And, yeah, she mused, he was pretty great out of bed, too. He was sometimes really serious and passionate, and at turns funny and silly. And he was really, very sweet. She had casually mentioned preferring dark chocolate to milk chocolate, and ever since, he made it a point to leave dark chocolate bars for her in the most unexpected places. And there was the way that he found rare recordings of her favorite musicians for her to listen to.

"No," she whispered. "It's sex. That's all." She turned over in her bunk and buried her face in the pillow.

JC rubbed circles on her back as she trembled against him. "That was..." Breathing took precedence over speaking and he couldn't finish the sentence.

With a grunt of effort, Casey rolled off of him and onto her back next to him. "The best sex I've ever had."

He gave her a sidelong glance, smiling. "Not that I did much of the work tonight, but..." She snickered. "Really?"

She sighed deeply and closed her eyes for a moment, not responding to his question. In the next moment she scooted out of the bed. "I'm gonna hop in the shower."

Still smiling to himself he let his eyes close, listening as the sound of the shower started in the bathroom.

They had passed each other backstage, after her set was over, and she told him, with a sly smile, she'd be stopping by his room later.

He answered her knock at the door and she basically attacked him once it was shut behind them. He had never experienced her quite so...aggressive. Not that he was complaining. On the contrary, the way she took charge made him hotter than anything. After giving him a blow job and bringing him just to the brink, she got on top of him. Backward. The phrase fucked my brains out came to mind and he grinned. He didn't know if it was the absolute best sex he'd ever had, but it certainly rated in the top five.

He realized he had dozed when, in what seemed like the next instant, she came out of the bathroom.

"Where'd my panties go?" Casey bent over briefly next to the bed and straightened up, holding her sweatshirt.

"You're leaving?" He turned on his side to watch as she stopped and pulled the shirt over her head.

"Um, yeah." Her expression was one of vague embarrassment and she shrugged. She turned away and kept searching for her underwear.

JC blinked a couple of times, saying nothing, and sat up. He pointed toward the loveseat on the other side of the hotel room. "I think they're still over there."

She walked over, bent down, and stood up with her panties in hand. After slipping them back on she looked over at him, still sitting motionless. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, then walked back to the foot of the bed, propping her hands on her hips. "What, JC?"

His eyes flickered up to her face then back down. "Nothing, Casey."

"No, it's something. Because before I took a shower you were fine and now you look like--" She stopped abruptly.

"I look like what?" He raised his eyes to her face again, a challenge behind them.

She dropped her hands from her hips and gestured toward him. "You look like something's wrong."

"I just..." He raked one hand through his already disheveled hair.

He stared at her for a moment, unspeaking, wondering what was going through her head. Her eyes were guarded and she seemed somewhat anxious. In his silence she kept clasping and unclasping her fingers. He didn't want to do it, to tell her what he was really thinking. Everything in his head told him to smile, tell her goodnight, and let it go. He had enough to think about and concentrate on, and he didn't really have the time or the inclination to deal with drama.

But still she stood there, practically wringing her hands, and biting her bottom lip, and looking so damn uncomfortable and unsure of herself that he didn't know if he was annoyed or enamored.

"Am I missing something?" he asked finally.

She opened her mouth, closed it, and shook her head. "No," she said quietly.

JC scooted down the bed closer to where she stood. "If you want to leave it's fine, but what's up? I mean you normally stay."

"Does it bother you? You know, with everyone just assuming that I'm spending the night with you?" She rubbed her palms over her thighs and wouldn't look up at him.

"Is this about Genevieve and the conditioner?" He looked at her quizzically.

"No. Yes. I don't know." She sighed and let her head fall forward. "They all just assume we're together, JC. Just like it's nothing. Like she gave you that stuff for me because she just assumed I'd be with you later."

She began twisting at her thumb ring. Over the past several weeks he'd come to recognize that she did it whenever she was anxious or nervous.

"And there's Chris and Justin, and now Joey calling us boyfriend and girlfriend. I know they're just joking, but we're not. And I guess I just wonder..." She stopped and exhaled.

With a soft sigh, JC reached out for her hand. "Come here, Case." She let him pull her onto the bed next to him. "It doesn't bother me, what other people call us, or say or don't say about us. Or think about us. I don't care. But it sounds like maybe you do."

She kept looking down until he placed his fingers under her chin and lifted her face to his. "Does it bother you?" he asked gently.

"It doesn't bother me," she said, timidly meeting his eyes. "I don't need a label, OK? I don't even want one, honestly. But I just guess I want to know...what are you thinking? About us?"

He stared at her for a few moments, his expression mild and pleasant. "I like you. I like talking to you and I like hanging out with you. And since I spent the first couple months you were here avoiding you, I'm making up for lost time, I think. And," he leaned in and rested his forehead against hers, "I like having sex with you. A lot."

She laughed softly.

"So what I think about us is that we're two people who are enjoying getting to know each other better? Does that sound good?"

She made a small sound of agreement and nodded slowly. He shifted closer and kissed her. "So are you still leaving?" he asked as he pulled away.

"I should," she said quietly.

"Why?"

"Because we have an early morning."

"Is that all?"

She shook her head and put her arms around his neck. "No."

"What are you thinking right now? The unfiltered truth. About me. About this, us."

"The unfiltered truth is...I like you." She shrugged. "I wouldn't be in your room every night if I didn't, right? And I....like spending the night with you maybe more than I should."

With a small smile, he kissed her forehead. "You're pretty dramatic, Casey."

She snorted. "So I've heard."

He kissed her again on the mouth, lingering a little bit longer. "That sounds like the opposite of a problem to me."

"Hmm."

"I want you to stay, Casey. "

"OK," she whispered.

***

They were back on the road the next morning, heading to Cleveland. JC's phone rang and Justin was on the other end calling for an impromptu conference call. JC assembled himself, Lance and Joey around the table in the kitchenette.

"You're on speaker, J." JC put his cellphone down in the center of the table.

"Ok, so we're off tonight," Justin began. "Chris and I were talking and decided, since it's been awhile since we all went out, we should go out tonight. All of us. What do you think?"

Lance glanced between Joey and JC; Joey was already nodding enthusiastically. "I'm down!" he exclaimed.

"Like we didn't know that," Chris said from Justin's end.

Lance nodded. "Yeah, why not?"

"OK, 'C, that leaves you; are you in?" Justin inquired.

JC zoned out of the conversation for a moment. Going out could be fun, but he had already talked to Casey about hanging out. And the prospect of staying in with her...well, that was potentially way more fun than being out at a club. A smile came to his lips as his mind started to wander with the possibility.

"Earth to JC," Joey said with a laugh. "You coming out tonight or what?"

"Um," JC began slowly, coming out of his reverie. "I'm gonna see what Casey--"

"Of course he's gonna see what Casey is doing first," Chris interrupted.

"You're so whipped, man." Justin laughed.

Joey did a fair impression of a cracking whip, while also laughing.

With a smile, JC shook his head slightly. "It's just that we already talked about hanging out tonight and I just--"

"Are whipped," Joey said. "Completely pussy whipped."

"Ooooh," Justin sang out in a near perfect imitation of Prince. Chris joined him and they sang the next line in unison. "Pussy controool!"

JC rolled his eyes and smiled; he wasn't pussy whipped. Not precisely, anyway.

"We were gonna ask your girlfriend and her people to come out, too," Justin explained.

With a small shake of his head JC said, "Fine, yeah. I'm in. I'll call Case--"

"I'll call your girlfriend. Talk to y'all later!" With that, Justin ended the call.

***

"Hey, Justin." Casey answered the phone on the first ring.

"What up, shorty?"

"You tell me." Casey smiled; his enthusiasm was nearly palpable even over the phone.

"We're going out tonight. All of us. Seeing as how we have the night off. You're in, right? And Jazz, and Mike and Lawrence, too?" He took a breath. "And before you say it, we already asked your boyfriend and he pretty much left the decision up to you. You in?"

Her exasperated sigh was loud and long. Chris had started it a couple of weeks ago, and Justin and Joey quickly picked it up. Now her own dancers were referring to JC as her boyfriend. "Would you stop calling him my boyfriend?" she whined.

"Soon as you stop acting like boyfriend and girlfriend," he replied in the same manner. "He couldn't even decide whether to come out tonight since you two already made plans."

"Justin..." she began threateningly

"Casey..." He responded in kind. "I'm just saying, call it what it is."

"That's not what it is," she replied tersely.

"Then what is it?" he asked, obviously amused. "You and JC are practically joined at the hip, and you have been for nearly two months now. Isn't it time to stop beating around the bush?"

Considering the previous day's conversation with Jada, and the exchange she'd had with JC the night before, she found it almost laughable that Justin was choosing the present moment to discuss the nature of her relationship with JC. She rubbed her palm down her face and groaned. "I don't know what it is, OK, J?" she said finally. She was suddenly tired.

"I'm in. For tonight, I mean. I'm sure everyone else is, too, but I'll let you know later."

"Hey, Case." He spoke gently, kindly. "All jokes aside, you've seemed happier over the past couple months than you did the previous couple. Why not...capitalize on that, is all I'm saying?"

She sighed heavily. "I'll talk to you later, J. I'm gonna sleep until we get to...wherever we're going."

***

It was storming; the sky had suddenly opened and rain fell down in torrents.

"I don't think staring is gonna make it stop, J," Casey offered with a giggle.

Justin glowered at her over his shoulder from his position at the window."What are you so happy about anyway? I thought you wanted to go out, too?"

"Oh, I'm sure Casey and JC will come up with something to do since we're all stuck inside." Jasmine smirked. She was stretched out on one of the queen sized beds in between Joey and Mike.

On the other bed Casey leaned back against JC from her position between his legs and he whispered something in her ear that set off another round of giggling.

"If you two are gonna do that all night long, you may as well leave now," Chris griped, tossing a balled up piece of paper in their direction. "No one wants to watch that."

"Jealousy isn't a good look for you, Chris." Casey snickered.

He'd made it known that he planned on hooking up with someone tonight, but with their plans foiled, he was stuck inside with everyone else.

"Let's play a game," Joey suggested.

JC rolled his eyes with a goodnatured smile and rested his hands on Casey's shoulders. "The only game you ever wanna play is truth or dare, Joey."

"Not true, JC," Lance put in. "He also likes strip poker."

"I don't know how to play poker." Casey pouted.

"Strip poker it is!" Joey exclaimed decisively.

"Scootch." Justin poked JC's leg.

With a deeply put upon sigh, JC dragged himself, pulling Casey along, from the middle of the bed to make room for Justin. "We're not playing strip poker," he added in Joey's direction.

"I vote for truth or dare," Mike said from his spot next to Jasmine on the other bed.

"You're no fun ‘C," Joey muttered under his breath.

Joey had flirted with Casey in the beginning and she casually flirted back, knowing it was all harmless and mostly Joey being Joey. But, casual or not, Joey being Joey also meant that JC was sure that his friend would've been perfectly happy seeing her naked--or close to, due to a losing hand of poker.

"How 'bout 'Never Have I Ever'," Casey spoke up. "With shots."

"I'm game!" Justin nodded enthusiastically.

"Says the two who can't even drink legally," Chris muttered.

"What do you think, Lawrence; you haven't said anything." Jasmine peered over at him as he lounged across the loveseat in the corner.

He shrugged noncommittally. "'Never Have I Ever' sounds good...but with the twist."

"Ugh, not with the stupid twist, Lawrence. I hate it like that." Casey groaned.

"That's 'cause you always lose," Mike pointed out, which caused Jasmine and Lawrence to dissolve into laughter. Casey flipped him off.

"What's the twist?" Lance and Justin asked at the same time.

"If you're the only one drinking, you have to give full details," Jasmine explained. "It's Never Have I Ever with a bit of truth mixed in."

"I'm in," Joey agreed.

Chris nodded. "Me, too."

"Why not?" Lance slid off of his chair to make himself comfortable on the floor in front of the beds.

Casey swiveled slightly to peek at JC with a raised eyebrow. "Am I gonna find out things about you I don't want to know?"

"Maybe," he said with a wink.

"I'll get the alcohol," Justin offered, slipping off the bed and heading for the mini-bar.

"We'll need more," Jasmine said, getting up as well. "I'll bring the stuff from our room."

"My room's closer," Lance said. "You can help me clean out my bar."

Once everyone was reassembled in the room with drink in hand, the game began with Lawrence. "Never have I ever faked an orgasm," he said with a cheeky grin.

"Well that escalated quickly." Justin snickered.

Casey lifted her drink to her mouth and stopped, noticing that no one else was following suit. "That question fucking sucks, Lawrence!" she pouted.

"Isn't that interesting, JC?" Chris grinned at both of them.

JC's cheeks colored slightly but he said nothing.

Casey rolled her eyes as everyone else laughed. "That's not even a fair question. There's only two girls playing; guys can't fake it."

"You're stalling, Case; drink up and 'fess up." Joey laughed.

She scowled at him and tossed back a swig of vodka. "OK, for the record, Chris." She glared over at him. "I've only faked it once, and it wasn't with JC."

"TMI," Justin muttered under his breath.

"You wanted to play," JC reminded him.

"Ooh! I know this story," Jasmine said.

"Come on, Casey, out with it," Mike said.

"I just said I faked it once; isn't that enough?" Casey asked.

"No way!" Joey replied. "That's not full details."

"You know the rules, Case," Lawrence added. "Who, what, when, where, why and how long!" Everyone but Casey snickered at that.

"You're all bastards," she muttered.

"Come on, Casey, spit it out," JC said, squeezing her shoulders gently.

She groaned and leaned back against him, covering her face. Taking a deep breath she said, "OK, there was this guy. We knew some of the same people and I sang a hook for one of his tracks as a favor to a mutual friend who was producing for him.

"Long story somewhat shorter, we hooked up. Once." She made a little sound of embarrassment. "It was awful."

Laughing, Jasmine said, "You have to tell them what was so awful about it, Case!"

"Details, Casey, remember," Chris added.

She grimaced. "He severely misrepresented the size of his, uh, equipment, and you know, it could've been a case where he made up for his shortcomings with his technique, but no. Just...no.

"It was the most awkward ten minutes of my life. I faked it to make it stop. And to make matters worse, he bragged about me to anyone who would listen."

"Ooh," Justin shook his head. "That's not cool at all."

Casey snorted. "Well, I set the record straight."

"How so?" Lance asked.

"Let's just say, " Jasmine began with a chuckle, "that although his rap career didn't go anywhere, he's still known as MC Crayon D in certain circles." She wiggled her eyebrows.

Everyone dissolved into laughter at that.

"Ok, ok," Casey said. She rubbed her hands together and looked around the room. "It's my turn. Never have I ever watched porn with like, people and animals. Together."

After sharing a look, all five members of *NSYNC quickly swigged their drinks.

"Ew, JC, seriously?" Casey swiveled her head to look at him.

"We were in Germany!" Justin offered by way of defense.

"Is that a thing there?" Mike asked with a snicker.

"Man, look, Donnie got it some kind of way, I don't even know. But we all only watched it once," JC explained with a laugh.

"Some of us watched it once," Lance put in, eyeing Joey.

"It was...interesting," Joey said.

"I knew you were kinky, Joey, but that's pretty gross." Jasmine wrinkled her nose.

Casey continued to stare up at JC with a vague look of distaste. "It was one time, Casey. Just for posterity." He laughed.

"What other freaky stuff do I not know about you?" she asked.

He grinned down at her. "I guess time will tell." He snickered. "Ok, my turn. Never have I ever...said the wrong name during sex."

Joey, Chris and Lawrence drank at the same time.

"Why am I not surprised?" Casey muttered under breath.

Chris shrugged nonchalantly. "It happens."

"My turn!" Justin looked around at everyone in turn, eyes narrow. "Hmm..." he began slowly. "Never have I ever had sex in a dressing room."

"What kind of dressing room do you mean?" Mike asked. "Like in a store or--"

"Naw, man, I mean backstage before or after a show."

"That's specific," Joey supplied.

"What counts as sex?" Casey put in. "Like full on intercourse or...other stuff?" Lance raised an inquiring eyebrow in her and JC's general direction and they both pretended not to see.

"And that's even more specific," Mike said with a laugh, shaking his head.

"I mean, it's important that we're all on the same page," she mumbled.

Justin sighed heavily. "Sex, guys. Full on actual sex. In the dressing room. Come on already."

This time, only Chris and Joey drank and Casey rolled her eyes. "Again, I'm not surprised."

"We're only not drinking because of a technicality," JC whispered in her ear with a grin. "I know you haven't forgotten about Virginia."

Casey's face grew hot and she covered a smirk with her hand. The tour had taken them to Hampton, Virginia a few days before and she hadn't at all forgotten what had transpired between the two of them in her dressing room. It hadn't, as Justin specified, been full on sex but it had gotten fairly close.

Jasmine, seeing the exchange between Casey and JC, shook her head. "Ok, am I literally the only one not getting laid on the regular? Because I'm feeling really left out right now."

Lance snickered. "Here's to no sex on tour!" He raised his glass in mock salute. "I'll drink to that."

She raised her glass as well. "OK, I guess that means it's my turn. Never have I ever made a sex tape." Jasmine looked around the room.

Casey, Justin, Lance and Mike weren't drinking. Again, Casey eyed JC. "You're just full of surprises tonight, 'C," she chuckled.

"That bother you?" he asked with a leer.

Her grin widened. "I like surprises." He waggled his eyebrows at her.

"My turn," Lance drawled. "Never have I ever," he paused and looked around at everyone, "had sex with more than one person within a forty-eight hour period."

"This game is clearly just an excuse for us to expose all of our kinks," Chris stated before slamming back a shot of whiskey.

Casey and Justin were the only ones who didn't follow suit and chuckled with a shake of her head. "It's always the quiet ones," she said, tossing a glance at JC.

"I warned you," he said with a shrug.

"Y'all are into some freaky-deaky shit!" Justin laughed.

"Give it time, youngsters," Chris said, holding his glass up. "Live a little longer and there's no telling what you might get into."

Mike cleared his throat. "All right, folks. Never have I ever..."

***

"So, um...about that sex tape question..." Casey began slowly. She was curious, without a doubt, and intrigued to say the least. Recording sex had never rated high on her bucket list, but now that the thought was lodged firmly in her mind, she wanted to explore it.

They were back in JC's room, the game having ended when they ran out of interesting questions and liquor. He was dressed in a white tee and  gray sweats, lounging on the bed with a couple of pillows stacked under his head.

JC lay back with his hands behind his head and a toothy grin on his face. When it all was said and done, he'd taken quite a few shots and he had a nice buzz going on. He was feeling warm, relaxed, and thanks to the teeny tiny shorts Casey had changed into, horny.

"What about that sex tape question? And you should come over here, by the way." He watched her, the way she tried to hide the smile growing on her face.

"I'm sitting right next to you." She was on her knees on the bed next to him, with less than six inches of space between them.  

He reached a hand out to touch her thigh. "Closer."

With a smile, she closed the space between them. "How's this?"

He continued to grin and rub her leg. "Closer."

"If I get any closer I'll be on top of you." She laughed.

"That's the idea." He nodded.

She shook her head and smirked as she moved to straddle him.

He took a deep breath and grazed both of his hands up and down her thighs and around to her butt. "Much better. Now, what do you want to know?"

She rested her hands lightly on his chest. "I just...um...I don't know. Never mind." 

JC ran his fingers under the hem of her shorts. "Oh, Casey, don't pretend to be shy now." He smirked up at her, moving his fingers the slightest bit higher beneath the cotton fabric.

She was mouthy and bold and not afraid to say what was on her mind. Usually. Seeing her a little tongue-tied was a new experience. He kind of liked seeing her like that. Kind of a lot.

She grinned. "Okaaaay. I'm just, um, curious, I guess."

"Mmmhmmm," he murmured, fingertips rising higher. "What are you curious about?"

She chewed her lip and fiddled with the collar of his t-shirt. "Is it something you, um, do a lot? Tape yourself, I mean."

He smiled furtively, teasing her. "What's a lot?" She blushed and her eyes dropped from his. "Hey." He brushed his fingertips across her cheek. "I've done it a few times."

Her gaze fell on him again and she raised a skeptical eyebrow. "What's a few times, JC?"

He stared at her, the corners of his lips twitching. She was embarrassed by the conversation, even though she didn't know exactly why, and she could tell that he was aware of her discomfort. He was playing with her, she knew, albeit not in a cruel way. She was rarely embarrassed, rarely at a loss for words; he was enjoying seeing her in a different light.

He chuckled, going back to rubbing his hands up and down her thighs. "I didn't keep count, Case. It's just...I used to do it. Sometimes."

"And then what? You'd watch 'em together?" She eyed him, not judgmentally, but definitely in surprise. The past couple months had taught her that there was certainly more to him than meets the eye, and yet, she was having a hard time wrapping her mind around a JC that enjoyed making sex tapes.

"Uh," he began haltingly. "Occasionally. But it was more for, um, me. You know, for when we were apart." Color rose to his cheeks and he grew hot; now he was the one feeling embarrassed.

Realization dawned in Casey's eyes. "Oh. Um. Ok." She was quiet a moment. "So...is it something you do, like, in general? If you're with someone? Or is it like, for special occasions or...?"

His hands rose to her hips where he held on loosely. "I've only ever done it with one person and it was just whenever we felt like it."

She contemplated that for a moment. "What'd you do with them?"

"The tapes?" he asked, eyes wide, the color from cheeks having risen to his ears.

"Well, yeah," she said slowly. "Do you still watch them? Or...what?"

JC's face was nearly crimson and this time he looked away for moment. "I still have them. They're locked up at my house. In Orlando."

Casey snickered. "So I take it that means yes, you still watch them sometimes."

"I haven't recently," he said with a shrug. It wasn't a lie.

"That's because you've recently been on tour." She looked at him pointedly. "Was it with..." She trailed off for a second. "Your ex-girlfriend? The model?"

His eyes flashed up at her. He was more than a little surprised that she knew anything about who he'd been dating. "AnaBeth, yes." He watched her for a moment trying to read the expression on her face. "And yeah," he continued, "I used to watch them sometimes. Before we went on tour. But if I went home tonight, I wouldn't."

She'd been well aware of his girlfriend and even more aware of their break up. Casey looked away, focusing on a spot to the left of where his head lay on the pillow. "Why not?"

JC waited to answer until she met his gaze. "Because I am more than happy with the woman that I'm currently spending time with and there's no need for me to look backward."

Her stomach fluttered and she was quiet for a moment watching him even as he watched her.

Tony had wanted to record himself with her, had even tried a few times. Despite the poor temper it put him in, she stood firm in her refusal. In the not-so-way-back of her mind, she knew her relationship with Tony wasn't going to last much beyond the end of the tour. And the last thing she wanted was for him to be in possession of something with such damning power over her and her career. Despite his promises to destroy the evidence as soon as it was over, she knew that Tony would've held on to a sexually explicit recording no matter what. And even if he never used it against her, the idea of him capturing her that way, permanently, made her ill.

But now JC was underneath her, looking at her with his bright blue eyes open and honest. His fingers were still trailing her skin softly. And although it had only been a matter of a couple of months and they'd had no real discussion about the nature of their not-quite-relationship, she realized she trusted him implicitly.

She ran her fingers under the bottom edge of his t-shirt, allowing them to skim the smooth surface of his hard belly. "Well," she began softly, "I just figured I would put it out there that if you ever wanted to, you know, do that again...I would be OK with that. You know, just for posterity."

JC smirked up at her. "You wanna see your o-face, don't you?"

She blushed and her jaw dropped. "JC!"

He snickered. "I'm gonna take you up on that, Casey." He lifted the bottom of his shirt and, after pulling it from his body, tossed it carelessly over the side of the bed. He pulled her down so her body was flush against his. "Another night." With that, he tangled his hands in her hair and kissed her.

***

Amber Peterson bent down to untie her shoes, sweeping shoulder length blonde strands back and away from her face. Just as she had kicked off both sneakers, the phone rang. Dashing into the kitchen to grab the phone on the counter, she glanced at the clock. It was after ten, and later than she usually received phone calls. "Hello?" she called into it.

"I've got one word for you," the voice at the other end replied.  

She perked up when she figured out who the caller was.  "Joey!" she exclaimed excitedly. "What's the word?"

"Chicago," he said simply.  

Amber smiled and twisted the cord around one finger. "Yeah. I've already got tickets to the show in a couple days. Does that mean I'll get to see you again?"  

Joey laughed fiendishly.  "You'll just have to wait and see."

She protested.  "Joey, wait--" She was too late; there was nothing but a dial tone on the other end of the line. With a smile and a shake of her head, she replaced the telephone on the hook.

Casey had been on tour with *NSYNC for a couple of weeks when Amber spent a few days on the road with her. They'd gone out after a show and eventually Casey ditched her, mostly because her creepy way-too-old boyfriend had copped an attitude about something and all but dragged her back to the hotel. Amber found herself dancing with, and drinking with, Joey. He was there, he was friendly and she was having fun. They rode from the club back to the hotel together, he walked her to her room and, as cliched as it sounded, one thing led to another.

Prior to the night it happened, a hook up with him had not been anywhere on her radar. She hadn't had much of an opportunity to do much with *NSYNC but be introduced to them and say hi. But that evening she got to see that Joey was a great dancer, and super fun to talk to. And in terms of how he was in bed, well, she definitely wouldn't mind spending some more one on one time with him. He asked if they could keep in touch and she'd said yes. Amber held no illusions that they were destined for anything serious; she was honestly surprised that he had called her at all. But the truth was, she was single and not looking for anything serious with anyone. But she was looking forward to the possibility of spending some more time with him in the next couple of days.

***

JC drained the last of the water in his bottle and turned his head as Casey emerged from the bathroom. Her hair was still damp from the shower and in two large braids on either side of her head. She wore a thin tank top that clung to the curve of her breasts and the same pair of cotton shorts she'd had on before, that left just about nothing to the imagination. She was tight and toned in all the right places, soft and inviting where it counted most. She was oh so sexy and despite the fact that they'd had sex about an hour before, his body was warming up to the idea of round two. Free of makeup, fresh from the shower smelling like almonds and vanilla, she was enticing.

She slid into the bed next to him and smirked when she realized he was staring at her with the ghost of a smile on his face. "Why are you looking at me like that, Chasez?"

He gave her a smirk of his own and gently tugged on one of her braids. "Because I like looking at you, Whitaker. Gotta problem with that?"

She grinned at him and and picked up the remote. "Nah, I don't mind." She busied herself flipping through channels while JC, who had showered before her, settled himself beneath the covers.

"You mind if I turn off the light?" he asked, reaching for the wall lamp on his side of the bed.

Casey's was already off and she shook her head. "Nope. I'm going to sleep, too."

For the next fifteen minutes there was nothing but the soft illumination of the television in the room. She'd turned the volume almost completely down and, although her gaze was fixed in the general direction, she wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to the action on screen. Instead her thoughts were back to where they'd been for the past several weeks. JC. In two days' time they'd be in her hometown, she'd be around her family and friends, and what the hell could she say, if anything at all, about what was happening with him.

"Two days until Chicago, huh?" she said quietly. JC's reply was in the form of an inarticulate grunt. She inhaled deeply and looked up at the ceiling. "Are you awake?"

He was to her right, laying on his back with one hand behind his head. He turned over onto his side so that he could look her in the face, or as much of it as could be seen in the flickering light of the television. "Sure." Truthfully, the only thing he'd been was well on his way to falling asleep.

Casey smiled, hearing the grogginess in his voice. It was nearing midnight, but with the impending trip back home, she needed to talk to him. Again. "I was kind of thinking, about Chicago and everything."

JC propped his chin in one hand and placed the other across her belly. "What about it?"

"Well, you know, it's home. For me. And so, like, my family is coming to the show. Did I tell you that?" She played with his fingers as she continued to talk. "My mom, dad, brother. And some of my friends, too. And they're coming to the after party, too. Well, not my parents and brother, but my friends and--" She laughed suddenly. "I'm totally rambling."

"Yep." JC nodded his agreement.

He sat up with a grunt and turned on the light over his side. Despite the late hour and the fact that he had been close to sleep only minutes before, his eyes were bright and clear.

Casey's head fell back against the pillow and she looked back at him. "My parents and friends don't know about us. And, um, I never said anything bad about you, but I kind of made it clear that we...pretty much avoided each other. Before."

He blinked slowly, keeping his expression neutral. "So what does that mean? Now?"

She looked down, feeling self-conscious and silly. JC waited patiently for her to respond. Finally, after a full sixty seconds, her brown eyes met his blue ones.

"I don't necessarily plan on going into detail with anyone about us, but I also don't want to lie to the people I care about."

His expression was serious as he caressed her cheek. "You want to tell people we're knockin' boots, don't you?"

She laughed in surprise and hit him lightly. "No!"

He laughed. "Whatever you want to say to your family and friends is OK with me. Can we go to sleep now?"

Casey leaned over and brushed her lips across his. "Yes."

JC turned off the light once more and she shut off the television. They both scooted down beneath the covers, and he pulled her onto her side so that her back was up against his chest. She grinned in the dark as his fingers threaded through hers across her stomach. It felt good being in his arms that way, and she didn't need a label to admit that.

"Are you excited?" His voice was low, gravelly with sleepiness, and right against her ear. She shivered from the chills it sent down her spine. "It's your first show at home since you've been with us."

Though he couldn't see her in the dark, he felt her head move from side to side against him. "I'm not sure yet. The being at home part is great. The performing at home part is another story."

He pulled her a little closer. "What do you mean? You don't like to perform at home?"

"It's weird, but I've always had this...thing about singing in front of people I know. I've always hated it. When I had recitals and such when I was a kid, I'd always want my family to sit somewhere in back where I couldn't see them.

"And being at home...it's like that, but on a larger scale, you know? It's like...different being on my home turf. Or something. It's nerve wracking." She snickered. "I'm probably making no sense."

JC laughed. "I understand, I think. I guess for me an audience is an audience. But I think it's kinda nice to look out in the crowd and see a few familiar faces."

"Yeah." She yawned. "You'd think. I'm just weird that way, I guess."

"Well, you have a couple more days to get used to the idea."

"Yeah," she echoed quietly. "You know, I am excited about seeing my little brother. I missed his tenth birthday. We were on the road. It's the first time I've ever missed his birthday, and if things keep going well for me, I'm sure it won't be the last."

"Yeah," JC sighed in agreement. "That part's shitty. All the missed milestones and stuff. It's tough."

Casey was silent long enough that he thought she may have fallen asleep. "Do you ever think of not doing it anymore?" she said softly, when she spoke again.

"Music?"

"No," she said, in the same hushed voice. "Not music exactly. I love making music. I love performing. I even love traveling. But sometimes I just feel like... Does it ever get to you? All the time away from the people you love? The interviews and the stupid questions? The fact that everything else gets put on hold? Does it ever feel like it's not really worth it?" She laughed self-consciously. "I'm sorry; it's way too late for philosophical discussions on success and the price of fame. I'm being silly."

His lips were gentle on her neck. "You're not being silly; I know exactly how you feel."

She sighed, saying nothing.

"Are you OK, Casey? Really?" His thoughts returned to his earlier conversation with Lance.  

She let out a tired sigh and squeezed his hand, still interlaced with hers. "I'm fine. Just a little more homesick than I thought, is all." She waited a beat and said, "We should probably get some sleep, huh?"

JC squeezed her lightly. "You're probably right."

She settled against him and within ten minutes her quiet, even inhalations and exhalations told him she was asleep.

Maybe Lance was right. Maybe she didn't have it as much together as he assumed. But he was pretty solid. And if that was what she needed, maybe he could be that for her. And maybe the rest of it--including the feelings he was pretty sure he had for her, that went way beyond sex, but that he was not quite ready to cop to--would work itself out in due time.

JC choked back a laugh and poked Casey in the side.

"What!" She sat up with a start. She was vaguely aware of someone staring at her and turned to her right to see JC, an expression of amusement on his face. "What?"

 "Did you know you talk in your sleep, Case?” he asked, a mischievous gleam in his eye.

She cut her eyes at him and attempted to smooth down her disheveled hair. "Sometimes. So what of it?" She narrowed her eyes at him and crossed her arms over her chest.  

"Nothing."  He stood up and turned to the bathroom before tossing a glance back at her. “You talk a lot.”

"Wait! What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing,” he repeated, still heading for the bathroom.

Casey jumped off the bed and followed him. "About what? JC, tell me what I said."  

He laughed devilishly. "Hmm maybe.”  As she opened her mouth to protest, JC quickly kissed her.  "Later," he said gleefully as he shut the door in her face.  

"JC? JC, you open this door!" she yelled, banging on the door.  "Open--" She stopped as the door suddenly opened.

"Shhh!” He pulled her inside the bathroom, shutting the door behind them.

***

“I was thinking,” JC began when Casey exited the bathroom.

“That’s scary,” she quipped with a grin. “Catch.” She launched something at him which he just barely caught. It was his toothpaste. “What were you thinking?”

He stuck his tongue out at her and tossed the tube into his toiletry bag that was on the bed. “I was thinking about this whole sleeping arrangement.”

Casey stopped in the middle of pulling her pants on and raised an eyebrow. “Ok?”

He sat on the edge of the bed and leaned down to tie his shoes. “So, we’re in agreement that, most of the time we’re in a hotel, you spend the night with me, right?”

“Right,” she replied slowly, returning to getting dressed.

“But technically, at least according to Everett’s list, you still share a room with Jasmine.”

As the tour manager, Everett oversaw all of the arrangements associated with touring, from hotel accommodations, to specialty food requests.

“I was just thinking, why don’t we just tell Everett that we’re sharing a room when we get to wherever we’re going next. Make it official, I guess? Then you don’t have to worry about maneuvering your stuff back and forth between my room and yours.”

“Is this about me using your toothpaste all of the time?” She snickered and pulled her long-sleeved tee on.

JC smiled. “What do you think? Seriously.”

She knelt down and slid her own sneakers on, taking care to avoid his eyes. What did she think? That was a loaded question with a complicated response if ever there was one. What she wanted to think was that it was no big deal. And he was right; when possible, most of their nights were spent together. And, after the conversations they’d recently had, she was OK with that. And, official or not, Everett certainly already knew. He knew everything that was going on where the tour was involved. So then why, all things considered, was the thought of him making a note in his official little notebook, and the thought of her bags being delivered to JC’s room with his own, and the thought of being given a key to his room and everyone knowing, in no uncertain terms, that they were sharing a room...fill her with something akin to panic?

She glanced up at JC, noting the fact that his previously wide smile had slipped.

He stood up and shoved his hands into his pockets. “I mean, if you don’t think it’s a good idea, then--”

“Yes!” She nodded enthusiastically and stood up. “I think it’s a good idea. A great one, actually.” She wasn’t lying exactly. It was a good idea, made a lot of sense, even if it did fill her with anxiety.

“Yeah? OK, great.” His relief at her response was visible. “So, are you staying in the hotel when we get to Chicago, or with your family?"

She hadn't fully made the decision yet and she said so. "Um, it just kind of...depends."

"Ok, well, I'll tell Everett. About the room. Just in case."

She picked up her bag from the floor near her feet. “So, um, I’ll see you later sometime, I guess? After the show?”

JC adjusted the watch on his wrist after checking the time. “Yeah, probably. We have some press before soundcheck, and a meet and greet, I think. But I’ll find you.”

“OK, cool.” Casey slid her messenger bag on her shoulder and started for the door.

“Hey.” He came up behind her. She turned around and he placed his hands on her waist and moved her closer. Then his mouth was on hers. He pulled away just slightly, and rested his forehead against hers. “I’ll see you later.”

With tingling limbs and flushed cheeks, Casey smiled up at him. “Later," she repeated softly, and walked out of the room.

***

Casey walked through the hotel room door and almost directly into Justin. “Hey.”

He crossed his arms and smirked down at her. “Hey, yourself. Everything OK?”

She gave him a distracted smile and adjusted the strap of her bag. “Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

“No reason. ‘C still in there?”

“Yep. I, um, I gotta run. I’ll see you later, J.”

He watched her for a moment, a curious smile at the corner of his mouth. With a shake of his head, he knocked on the door to the hotel room.

“Oh, hey. Come on in.” JC stepped back after pulling open the door to let his friend in.

“Let me guess; you were expecting someone a lot shorter and female?” Justin grinned.

“Yeah, well, she just left so…” JC chuckled. “You can sit. I’m just waiting for Eric to come get me so I can grab breakfast.”

Justin crossed the floor of the room and took a seat in one of the armchairs in front of the window. “The fans have been pretty tame here, huh?”

At each hotel stop, Everett generally reserved an entire floor. Along with *NSYNC, and each of their personal bodyguards, opening acts and any necessary security, as well as key members of the overall team all stayed on the blocked floor. Tour security worked with hotel security to keep fans and potential lookie-loos to a minimum, and generally the guys were able to roam the hallway of their own floor freely. To be on the safe side, though, no one was allowed to venture further out into the hotel without alerting the security team.

JC nodded his agreement. “Sometimes I think we call more attention to ourselves walking around with Eric and them, but whatever.” He sat back on the side of the bed facing Justin. “So what’s up?”

The young blonde flashed a megawatt smile. “You are lately, that’s for sure.”

JC raised one eyebrow quizzically. “What do you mean?”

Justin snickered. “Oh, come on, C. You know what I mean. What’s going on with you and your girl?”

JC’s face grew hot but he laughed it off. “Oh. Casey. Uh...yeah, man, I don’t know.”

Justin let out a loud guffaw and shook his head. “Why can’t either of you just admit it?”

“There’s nothing to admit, man. We’re having fun, you know?”

Justin’s expression was mirthful. “Fun, huh? So that’s why you’ve been attached at the hip for the past couple of months?”

JC stared back at his younger friend, feigning ignorance. “Like I said, J, we’re having fun.”

“Oh, really.” Justin snorted. “So, it’s just sex?”

JC grinned. “No. I didn’t say that--”

“So it’s more than sex?” Justin interrupted.

“Man, I am not having this conversation with you.”

“Why not?” Justin shrugged. “If you’re just having fun, then what’s the big deal? It’s just sex, right?”

“Justin--”

“Don’t ‘Justin’ me, JC. I’m dead ass serious.”

JC leaned back on his hands. “I like her, OK?” he said quietly. “Casey’s...yeah. She’s something else. But she’s…” He blew out a breath and rubbed the back of his neck.

“She’s what?” Justin pressed.

“She’s messed up about whatever happened with her ex, man. But she won’t talk about it and I don’t know what to do about it. Until she lets go of whatever happened with him, or heals from it, or whatever it is she needs to do…” He shrugged helplessly. “It’s only gonna go as far as she’s comfortable with it going, you know?”

Justin nodded slowly. “Yeah.”

Both men were thoughtfully quiet for a moment before JC cleared his throat. “You were there. When Tony...that night? Has she ever talked to you about what happened?”

Justin pursed his lips and shook his head. “No. Not really. She’s thanked me for...I don’t know for what, really. I didn’t do anything. Jasmine started yelling and I just happened to be walking down the hall at the same time so I heard her first. But I didn’t do anything.” Justin’s eyes dropped to the floor.

“Hmm,” JC hummed.

“C,” Justin said, looking up seriously. “Casey’s...she’s not as together as she likes everyone to think she is. I don’t know if that happened before or after her asshole ex, but I think, if you have real feelings for her, you just need to make sure she knows that, you know? So she doesn’t think that she’s just...a passing phase you’re having or something.”

JC raised an eyebrow, curious at Justin’s choice of words. “You talk to her a lot, don’t you?”

“I used to. She’s been otherwise occupied lately, though.”

JC grinned. “Yeah, I guess.”

“In the beginning, though? Yeah, we talked a lot. Whenever the asshole gave her room to breathe.” Justin scowled. “And the more women he found to screw around with, the more room he gave her to breathe. He didn’t like her talking to me.”

 “Why not?” JC asked.

“He was an asshole,” he said flatly. “Isn’t that reason enough? He didn’t like her around anyone that wasn’t him, especially not other dudes.”

JC’s eyes were downcast and he chewed on a hangnail. He looked up and met his friend’s eyes. “Did she ever say anything about me?”

“Have you asked her?” Justin cracked a knowing smile.

“I’m asking you. Besides, Casey wouldn’t tell me anyway.”

“Your name came up on a couple of occasions.”

JC perked up. “Yeah? About what?”

Justin laughed and ran a hand over his chin. “She was convinced you hated her and I tried to tell her she was wrong.”

JC smirked. “Yeah, well, she knows I don’t hate her now.”

“Yeah.” There was another lull in the conversation and Justin leaned over the side of his chair and peeked through the soft white sheers covering the window.

“What’d you mean, though?” JC leaned over, propping his chin in his hand, elbow on his thigh. “About not letting her think she’s a passing phase? Does she think that? Now?”

Justin readjusted the curtains and settled back in the chair. “We haven’t talked about it lately,  but she mentioned it. Awhile ago.”  

“This morning I asked her to share a room with me.”

Justin smiled slyly. “Like you don’t already?”

“I mean officially.”  

“What’d she say?”

JC shrugged. “She agreed, but it was weird for a minute.”

“Weird how?”

JC stared into space for a moment before answering. “I don’t know. It’s nothing.”

A knock sounded at the door and Justin stood. “That’s probably Eric, and I need to finish packing.”

JC got up from the bed and the two young men crossed over to the door together.

“You’re spending a lot of time with her, JC. At this point, I’m sure there’s nothing I can tell you about her that you don’t already know."

JC opened the door and let out a small sound that fell somewhere between a laugh and an exhalation. “Maybe, maybe not. But I’ll talk to you later.”

Justin nodded. “Hey, Eric. Later, ‘C.” He went down the hall to the left while JC and Eric headed to the right, toward the elevator.

***

Casey hung up the phone and looked around the room. She crossed over to the window and, after unlocking it, pulled open the sliding glass door. It was chilly, but she stepped out on the balcony and inhaled deeply. After a mere five minutes of taking in the fresh air and blue skies, she retreated back into the hotel room, shutting and locking the door behind her. She grabbed the remote control off of the TV console, and sat down on the loveseat facing it. She never pushed power, instead tapped the controller on her leg and stared at the blank screen.

She was back in the suite she technically shared with Jasmine, although her friend and dancer wasn’t around. She was also antsy and hoped she would calm down before the show that evening. It wasn't nerves exactly, at least not the sort of jitters she had before going onstage sometimes. But she was agitated, nonetheless. Anxious, even.

With the flight arrangement made she had at once felt more centered. Chicago was only a four and a half hour drive from Auburn Hills, but tonight she wanted nothing more than to be in her own bed, in her own home, surrounded by her own family. A flight would get her home in just over sixty minutes. Now, she was again filled with nervous energy. She put the remote on the couch next to her and leaned over the arm to pick up the phone once more.

"Hi," she said when the front desk answered. "I’m calling from room 521. I was wondering if you had a list of taxi services in the area.” She paused as the person on the line spoke. “Um, no I actually need it to pick me up at the The Palace of Auburn Hills tonight at eight o’clock, and it would be taking me to the airport.” She was quiet for another moment. “Oh, you can? Yeah that would be....great. Thank you. Oh, um...Casey Whitaker. All right. Thanks.”

Now she had a flight home, and a taxi to carry her to the airport. Hopefully she could slip out of the arena without commotion. It was suddenly very important for her to leave without anyone knowing. Ultimately it didn’t matter if everyone knew or not. The only person that would potentially complain was Dara, and the complaint would be more about going out without security than any issue with her flying home. But she was feeling strangely contained, and she needed to do something autonomous.

And there was, of course, JC. She was also feeling guilty as hell for planning on sneaking out under cover of darkness. Things had been good with him the past couple of nights, as well as that morning. And they were on the same page. So why was everything in her head telling her to run away? He wanted them to share a room. Officially. And mostly, she thought, that was OK. Because they did that anyway. And he looked so happy when he suggested it. So why did the thought of it, the thought of telling Everett and making it official, make her feel… She wasn’t even quite sure what she felt. She admitted to him that she liked spending the night with him. It wasn’t a secret. So why was she feeling such inner turmoil at the thought of making their sleeping arrangements official? With an audible sigh, she pushed off the couch and reentered the suite’s bedroom.

Now that her calls were made and her plans were set for the evening, she went about the work of packing up the overnight bag she’d brought to the hotel. There were a couple of things she’d left on the bus that she would’ve like to have had with her, but there was not likely going to be enough time for her to grab anything in between now and the show. And there was certainly not going to be any time after her set was over. She would go on at seven and be done promptly at seven forty-five. Fifteen minutes would be plenty of time to get back up to her dressing room, change clothes, and hopefully get away from her dancers long enough to walk right out of the front door of the venue.

Of course, she’d have to say something to Dara. Maybe, she thought, she could send her a text as the cab pulled away. Or maybe it would be safer to text her when she was already at the airport. Dara was going to have something to say, and more than likely attribute her sudden desire to get away to either JC or...Tony. Tony. She didn’t want to think about Tony, but lately it seemed that he was always just at the edges of her thoughts.

Immediately following the incident, everyone treated her with kid gloves, as if they were afraid she’d break. People expressed their concern, and asked how she was doing. But they avoided the questions she knew they wanted real answers to. She got looks from the crew when she passed by, and occasionally picked up the tail end of whispered conversations when she entered a room. Outside of Dara, Jasmine and Justin were the first to approach her directly to find out what the hell happened. She wasn’t surprised as they were first two at her door. Justin was more roundabout in his questions, trying to work his way up to the big one. Jasmine, having seen some of the bruises when they were fresh, was a little bit more direct.

But of course, Casey didn’t want to talk about. More than that, the part that no one seemed to understand, was that she didn’t want to think about it. She relived the night enough all on her own and walking everyone through it step by step was just...it was too much. Shit, she reasoned, happened sometimes. And there were plenty of things she would rather be doing than wallowing in it or dwelling on it. Besides, she was fine. She was thankful for that. That Jasmine and Justin had shown up when they did. That hotel security was dispatched swiftly. That it hadn’t turned out...well, the way it could've turned out. And honestly, she was none the worse for wear. And that was enough. Usually.

But in the silence and the solitude of the early afternoon, it wasn’t so easy to push it out of her mind. Casey flopped back onto the bed and looked over at the clock. It was just after noon and Jasmine was nowhere to be found...not that she was really keeping track of her. But she wouldn’t have minded a bit of a distraction. JC, her current most tangible and enjoyable distraction, was with his groupmates doing press or something related to being incredibly successful and famous.

Her stomach fluttered at the thought of him. The way he kissed her that morning before she left.  And the way she felt, the night before, tucked in his arms. She shook her head and groaned. She wasn’t going there. She was absolutely not going to make it out to be more than it was. She was just vulnerable, maybe, to kindness. Because of Tony. Because the whole thing had shaken her more than she let on to anyone. But it certainly wasn’t anymore than that. After two months, it couldn’t be.

She turned over onto her stomach. There was nothing left in her room and she hoped that JC would pick up anything that she might have forgotten in his. She got up to answer a knock at the door.  

"Dara, what are you doing here?" Casey asked, surprised to see her manager in the hallway.

Dara looked over Casey’s shoulder into the room behind her. “Surprising you, apparently. You’re ready to go to venue? You have soundcheck soon.”

Casey stepped back to let her manager into the room. “Um, yeah.” She took a deep breath and closed the door. “Uh, Dara, I just wanted you to know that I’m, um, leaving tonight. For Chicago, I mean.”

“Oh.” Dara’s eyes widened. “You’ve already made arrangements?”

Casey nodded and sat down on one the sofa. “Yeah.”

Dara crossed her arms over her chest and gave her an appraising look. “Is this about JC?”

Casey scowled. “No. Why would you even think that?” Of course Dara would read more into things than necessary. And of course she would focus all of that unnecessary reading into things on JC. Because whatever ailed her had to be due in large part to a guy.

“I just want to go home. That’s all.” The words came out perhaps more exasperated than she had intended and she noted the almost imperceptible tightening of Dara’s jaw.

Her manager nodded slowly. “What time does your flight leave?” she asked finally.

Casey glanced down at her watch. “Um...ten-thirty. I’m leaving right after the show.”

“Why not just wait until tomorrow?”

“I just want to be home as soon as possible. Is that OK?”

Again, Dara nodded her head. “That’s fine. Do you need a ride?”

“No.” Casey shook her head. “I called down to the front desk to arrange for a cab. It’s picking me up right from the venue.”

“OK, then.” Dara stood, and squeezed Casey’s arm before leaving. “We’re heading over there now.”

***

As Dara let the door close behind her, she worried. In the beginning, she’d thought the young woman was doing a masterful job of handling the stress and pressure of the tour, and the general requirements of a performer poised on the brink of stardom. But ever since the Tony incident… There were things she needed to discuss with Casey, but she was quite sure that now was not the best time. For all of her affected nonchalance, it was becoming increasingly clear to Dara that her young client wasn’t coping with things so much as she was pretending there was nothing to cope with. She was sure Casey would be OK eventually. It just might take some time.

***

JC tried Casey’s phone again; still, he received no answer. He hadn’t been able to  find her right after the show,  and her dancers had no idea where she was. Apparently she just vanished into thin air. He looked for Dara; if anyone knew where she was it would be her manager. Everett was generally impossible to find after a show was over so he didn’t even bother trying to track him down. He had wished he had Dara’s number, and briefly thought about checking to see if Johnny did. He ruled that out quickly, though. He and Casey were still staunchly maintaining how casual things between them were, and if he tracked down his manager just to track down her manager just because he didn’t know where she was...well, that wouldn’t look too casual.

He wasn’t worried; she had bodyguards to make sure that she was safe and sound at just about all times. Plus no one else, including her dancers, seemed concerned with her absence. But he wondered if something had come up. He also wondered, if it had, why she didn’t tell him. Not that she owed him an explanation. Despite the previous evening’s conversation, and the fact that they were both enjoying spending time together, they weren’t together. Not officially. At least, he thought somewhat defiantly, not yet.

The thing that was the most frustrating about dealing with her, was the fact that he knew she was feeling about him the same way he was feeling about her. In the quiet, private moments, it was obvious. But for reasons he couldn’t even begin to understand, she couldn’t--or wouldn’t--acknowledge it. At least not in any sort of public way. Second to that, and still annoying, was the fact that he cared. What happened the night of the argument at the ice machine was supposed to be a one-time fluke. And then it was supposed to be a fun interlude, something to break up the monotony of life on the road. But it was quickly, and disconcertingly, becoming more.  

And he would’ve been fine with that. If it wasn’t for the fact that he was sure that Casey was fighting against it. And he had no idea why. With a sigh, he stood up to get ready to head out to the awaiting tour bus.

***

"Hello?" Casey answered breathlessly into her cell phone.

“Where the hell are you?” demanded the voice on the other end.

“Hi, Jasmine. I’m great; how are you?” was Casey’s caustic reply.

“Hi, Casey,” Jasmine said sweetly. “Where the hell are you?”

“I’m at the airport,” Casey said, not breaking her stride as she looked for her gate.

"Why’d you leave without saying goodbye?" Jasmine said into the other end. “Is everything OK?”

She’d been asked the question countless times in the past few months and it was starting to wear on her. “Everything’s fine. I’m just ready to be home. Sleep in my own bed, you know?”

Jasmine made a small sound of agreement. “So how come you didn’t tell JC? He was looking for you earlier.”

Casey found her gate and took a seat near the window. The area was nearly deserted; there was a small handful of other people waiting to board the flight. She was thoughtfully silent for a moment. She didn’t know why she didn’t tell him. “It was a last minute decision and I just…” She trailed off, her words sounding like meaningless excuses even to her.

“Is everything OK with you guys? Have you talked anymore about...stuff?”

"A little, yeah.” Casey set her carry-on on the chair next to her and slouched down in her seat.

“And?”  

“We’re having fun. We’re getting to know each other. We’re letting it be whatever it is and that’s good, I think.”

“You only think?” Jasmine persisted.

"Well.” Casey sighed. “I don't know. I like him, Jazz. I think I could like him a lot. But…” She faded off into silence.

"But what?"

"But we...” She glanced around to make sure no one was paying her any attention and lowered her voice. “We have sex. A lot." She sighed again.

“You make it sound like a bad thing,” Jasmine deadpanned.

“It’s not necessarily bad, but like...maybe we only like each other because of sex, you know? At least...maybe I’m only feeling the way I think I’m feeling about him because of sex. And maybe he is, too.”

"Ask him," Jasmine said simply.

Casey rolled her eyes. "'Hey, JC?  Are you sure you really like me or could it be that I’m just a really good fuck?' That should go over well."

Jasmine groaned. “I didn’t mean you had to say it like that, Case."

“He asked me to share a room with him. Like, from now on. Like, telling Everett and making it official, you know?”

“What’d you say?”

Casey paused and studied her fingernails, shifting farther down into the seat. “I said yes.”

“Casey,” Jasmine began slowly, “do you think you’re maybe making all of this out to be a bigger deal than it needs to be?”

"What do you mean?" Casey replied tersely.

"You forget that I know you came into this whole thing with a crush on him. And you just admitted that you’re feeling something for him. He likes you. You like him. Just...go with it.”

“I admitted that I think I’m feeling something for him,” Casey corrected. “And besides, my crush didn’t count. Like I’ve said before, I didn’t know him then. It was a...fangirl kind of thing. I loved his voice, but mostly it was physical.”

"Meaning it isn't 'physical' now?" Jasmine chuckled.

“Dude, I don’t know! That’s the whole fucking problem. I don’t know. I like him, I think. But...I’m sleeping with him. And maybe I’m just attached.”

“I know, I know,” Jasmine said. “And you don’t want to be that girl. You’ve said that many, many times. I think it has less to do with you being that girl and more to do with the fact that you’re still messed up by what happened with Tony.”

Casey inhaled sharply.

Jasmine didn't skip a beat. "JC isn’t Tony, Case. This situation isn’t that situation. And maybe it’s time for you to get whatever happened out. So you can let it go and move on.”

“I gotta go, Jazz,” Casey said quietly.

“Casey--” Jasmine began.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” With that, she unceremoniously ended the call.

***

Now onboard the moving bus, JC pulled the cover up over him and adjusted the curtain that closed off his bunk. He stared up into the pitch blackness and listened to the sounds around him. Justin was already snoring lightly, and someone else, probably Chris, was moving around in bed, likely trying to get comfortable.

When it was time to board the buses Jasmine had approached him.

“Hey, JC,” she says sheepishly, pulling her zip up hoodie tighter around her against the chilly night air. “So, I found Casey. Sort of.”

She looks uncomfortable, he thinks. Almost guilty. “OK…”

“She flew home, actually. You know, to Chicago. I guess she left right after we got offstage.”

He’s sure the expression on his face is confused, because he is. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Jasmine nods, chuckling nervously. “Apparently it was a last minute thing. Dara knew but Christoff only just told us. So, I just wanted to let you know. Since, you know, you were asking.”

He smiles. “Yeah, thanks, Jasmine. I appreciate it.”

There was something there between him and Casey, and it went beyond sex. But as much as he wanted to explore it, he couldn’t--and wouldn’t--force her to want to as well. And she was pretty obviously on the fence about it.

He checked his phone one more time, not really expecting to hear from her, but hoping anyway. With that, he slid the rectangular device under his pillow. In seconds, he was dead to the world.  

***

"Ya know, we haven't been to Chicago in a while, have we?" Joey paced the floor in the aisle between the bunks.  

Lance glanced up at him from his position on his back, on his bottom bunk. He couldn’t see much as his baseball cap was pulled down too far on his head; the bill was mostly covering his eyes. "You’re pretty wound up, Joe. What’s up?" he queried mildly.

“Nothing, really.” He was quiet for a moment and when Lance didn’t respond he continued. “I, uh, I talked to Amber the other night.”

“Hmm,” was Lance’s muffled response. He was, as far as he knew, the only one who knew that Joey had hooked up with her. “I thought that was a one-time thing.”

The brunette shrugged indifferently. “Yeah, it was then. But we’ll be in Chicago and she’ll be in Chicago and why not, you know?”

“Casey still doesn’t know, does she?”

Joey stopped in his pacing to lean against the bay of bunks directly across from Lance. “Not that I know of. Why?”

Lance grunted slightly. “Just wondering.”

“I mean, she’s probably not gonna notice anyway. JC’s been keeping her occupied these days.”

Lance nodded. “That’s for sure.”

Joey slid into his bunk which was directly across from Lance’s. “What do you think’s up with those two? Aside from the fucking like bunnies, I mean.”

The blonde snickered and removed his hat so he could look his friend in the eye. “Aside from that, he likes her. A lot, I think. I talked to him about her the other day and he just...he likes her.”

“Yeah? What’d he say?”

“Nothing, really. I asked if they were serious and he laughed it off. He’s JC. You know when he’s excited about something. He’s excited about her. That’s obvious.”

“Hmm,” Joey sighed contemplatively. “He tell you what went down with her and Tony that night?”

Lance shook his head. “He doesn’t know. She won’t talk about it. But he says he saw Tony get rough with her once. When she was in Orlando before the tour?”

Joey eyes widened. “Really? What happened?”

“Tony was shaking her in the hallway and JC happened to see it. They left right after, I guess. I think JC feels bad about not saying something. Especially because of what happened later and all.”

“Damn.” Joey shook his head. “What was he supposed to say, though? I mean, it doesn’t really make sense, but she stayed with him. So…” He shrugged.

“Yeah, that’s pretty much what I said to him.” Lance sighed and changed the subject. “So did you call Amber or did she call you?”

“I called her.” The brunette smirked.

“You really think that’s a good idea, Joey?” Lance replaced his cap over his eyes and tugged his blanket up.

“Come on, man. We’re just having some fun. It’s no big deal.”

“If you say so,” the blonde said with a yawn. “Sounds like a lot of potential for drama, to me.”

Casey rolled over and blinked against the sunlight shining through the just slightly opened blinds. Waking up in her own bed, in her own room, was wonderful.

She waits in the driveway until the cab backs out and drives off. After adjusting the brown weekender bag on her shoulder, she approaches the front door with a grin. It's nearly one in the morning and she's imaging the looks on her parents' faces. She rings the doorbell and knocks twice in rapid succession.

She counts slowly. Thirty seconds go by, and behind the frosted glass of the entryway, she can see the tell tale illumination of a light going on somewhere. Another ten seconds tick by and the light comes on over the porch. Two seconds later her mother flings open the front door.

"Casey Angelina Whitaker!" Elizabeth Whitaker pulls her daughter into the house and into a tight hug. "What are you doing here? And why are you alone? It's too late for you to be out by yourself."

Still tucked in her mother's embrace, Casey rolls her eyes. "I wanted to surprise you," she says, pulling away. "Surprise!"

It had taken nearly forty-five minutes, but she was finally able to convince her parents that she was fine, and the impromptu flight home hadn't been booked because she was under undue stress. All of the commotion woke up her little brother, and he was all too happy to create a makeshift sleeping pallet in her room with loads of blankets and pillows. She peeked over the edge of the bed, smiling at the lump on the floor beside her. The soft up and down motion in the center of the mass told her that Matty was still sleeping peacefully beneath it. She was happy to be home.

She snuggled back down beneath the covers, closing her eyes, when her cell phone rang shrilly from beside her. She fumbled and almost dropped it, trying to silence it before it disturbed her little brother. She looked at the name of the display, groaning inwardly.

"Hi, Dara," she whispered. "What's up?" She slipped from beneath the covers and out of the bed, and tiptoed out into the hall so as not to wake her brother.

"Casey, I know it's early, "Dara replied. "But I wanted to know what time you plan on getting here. We need to go over your agenda for the day. And some other things."

Casey made a face and pulled the phone away from her ear to check the time. "Um...well, I was actually kind of hoping I could just meet you straight at Rosemont for soundcheck, but..." She sighed. "I can be there in an hour or so, I guess. I need to jump in the shower."

From the other end Casey heard some papers being shuffled. "That's fine," Dara said, sounding distracted. "I'm just going to send Bruce or Christoff to come get you. You should be ready by the time they make it to you."

"You're leaving?"

Casey whirled around at the sound of the voice behind her. Matt was awake, sleepily rubbing his eyes. "Hey, kiddo. Hold on a sec." To her manager she said, "OK, Dara. I'll see you soon." She ended the call and approached her brother, affectionately rubbing the top of his head.

"Yeah, Matty, duty calls." She smiled even as he scowled at her.

"I thought we were gonna get to hang out while you're here." He crossed his arms over his chest and pouted.

She wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Well...do you want to come with me? You'll probably be doing a lot of waiting around but--"

"Yes!" he exclaimed. "I'm gonna go get dressed!" With that, he practically skipped down the hall to his own room.

Casey chuckled and shook her head, walking in the other direction to her parents door. She knocked softly and heard a muffled voice tell her to come in.

"Morning, Kid. I thought you planned on sleeping in?" Casey's dad looked at her through the mirror as he adjusted his tie.

She smiled and climbed onto her parents' bed, tucking her feet underneath her. "That was the plan, Dad, but Dara had other ideas. She needs me to come to the hotel. I told Matty he could come with if he wanted so I figured I'd see if Mom wants to come, too."

He finished with his tie and turned to face Casey. "She should be out of the bathroom soon." He watched her for a moment as she picked up the remote and aimlessly flipped through television channels. "Are you sure everything's OK, Honey?"

That question was coming at her from everywhere these days. She tossed him a distracted smile, not moving her eyes from the TV. "I'm fine, Daddio. Aces."

***

The interview with the newspaper now over, all five members of *NSYNC were settling back at the hotel with a couple of hours to spare before having to leave for soundcheck. JC was in his room, organizing what had been left haphazardly earlier in the morning. As he tidied up, he talked to his parents and siblings, checking in on their lives and updating them about his. For him, it seemed that his stories were a lot of the same old, same old. A new city, hours on the road, and funny things that happened as he traveled around and did what he loved with his four best friends. He was much more interested in what was going on in the lives of his family and friends. As much as he loved what he was doing, he sometimes missed normalcy. Hearing from his loved ones was like a lifeline back to the real world.

He casually mentioned something to his mother about Casey; it was an offhand remark, recalling something amusing that had happened with her. His mother brought up the fact that, up until that point, he hadn't had much, if anything at all, to say about *NSYNC's latest opening act. He made up something about discovering that they had a lot in common--which, he told himself, wasn't necessarily an outright lie. His mom was glad to hear that they were getting along, and they continued the conversation by moving on to other topics.

With the phone calls done and the room back in order, JC lay back on the bed, eyes closing. He passed out almost immediately upon boarding the bus after the show and he was still exhausted by the time they rolled into the parking lot of Chicago's Omni Hotel at around four in the morning. But once he was settled in his hotel room, his sleep had been fitful. He'd fallen back to sleep easily enough, but woke up every hour or so in discomfort. He'd gotten too hot, then too cold. He'd broken into a cold sweat and had a headache. Around six-thirty in the morning he gave up, opting to get up and shower. Now his lack of sleep was catching up with him.

On top of his exhaustion, he still hadn't heard from Casey and it was weighing on his mind in a big way. But sleep was winning, and in moments he was dozing.

Fifteen minutes into his nap, his phone rang. He grabbed it and answered without bothering to read the display. "Hello," he grumbled.

"I woke you. I'm sorry," Casey said timidly.

He exhaled and opened his eyes. "Casey. Hey."

He was glad to hear from her, couldn't even pretend otherwise. But he was also...not necessarily annoyed, but close to. She wanted to go home and spend the night in her own bed, in her own house, with her own family. There was nothing wrong with that; in fact, everything was right with it. But the secrecy and avoiding his phone calls and leaving without saying a word was just...unnecessary.

"Sorry. Um...I'll call--"

"No," he interrupted, rubbing his eyes. "No, it's fine. Really. I had just fallen asleep so... What's up? Where are you?"

"Same place as you, actually. I'm here in the hotel. In Dara's room right now." Her voice was timid.

"Since when?"

"About an hour ago." She cleared her throat. "I'm sorry I left without saying anything, JC."

"You don't have to be sorry, Case." He inhaled before choosing his words carefully. "Is everything OK? With us, I mean. I thought it was. After we talked the other night."

"I, um...hold on one sec, JC."

He heard rustling on the phone, and then muffled voices. There was the sound of more movement, and then Casey came back on the line.

"Sorry about that," she said quietly. "Listen, everything is fine with us, OK? But, um, can we talk later? Before the show maybe? My brother and mom are kind of hanging out right now, and I have soundcheck and the autograph signing at Sam Goody, but...well, I can try and sneak away before we have to be at the venue."

"Uh..." JC glanced at his watch. "What time's the Sam Goody thing?"

"Um, like one, I think?"

"How about after that?" he suggested.

"Sure. Um, what room are you in?"

He chuckled. "Uh, well, actually we're in room 1430. I talked to Everett last night. I, um...is that still OK?"

She made a small sound that was not quite a sigh. "It's more than OK, JC. I'll...I'll talk to you soon, OK?"

He heard something catch in her voice but he let it go. "Talk to you later, Casey."

JC ended the call and shut his eyes again. This girl is going to drive me crazy.

***

"Wow!" Matthew breathed, eyes almost cartoonishly wide. "This is so awesome!" He looked around the bus's lounge, and stopped on the huge TV on the wall.

Casey flopped onto the couch. "Yeah, it is pretty awesome."

He took a seat across from her and continued to gaze around the room in awe. "So you just sit back here and play video games the whole time you're driving?"

She laughed. "Not me so much, but the others do. It passes the time."

"Your dad's going to meet us at the arena tonight. He's coming straight from work." Elizabeth Whitaker entered the room and took a seat next to her daughter.

Casey nodded. "OK." She picked up her phone and began tapping on it. "I'll let Everett know. Someone will probably have to come down to get him. Um..." Her fingers continued to fly across her qwerty pad. "I'm giving him your number so you guys can coordinate how to get Daddy up to the skybox."

"Ok." Her mom watched as Matt turned on the XBOX and searched through the stack of games next to the console. "Don't get too comfortable, Matthew; Casey's going to be leaving soon, right?"

Casey chuckled. "How about I hire you to be my p.a., Mom? You know my schedule better than I do." So far she was doing well without a personal assistant, but if her schedule picked up anymore, Dara had already suggested it may be time to begin thinking of hiring someone.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes, knowing her daughter was joking. If it were up to her, she definitely would be on the road with her; Casey knew that. "Don't tempt me, honey. I feel like you need someone keeping an eye on you."

Casey looked down at her phone. "I've got about forty-five minutes before we need to get going."

"See, Mom, I have plenty of time to play." Matthew barely glanced over as the game loaded and he began setting up for play.

Casey watched her brother play for a moment before looking up and catching her mother's eye. She could tell there was something she wanted to say to her, away from the keen ears of her little brother. "I'm thirsty. How ‘bout you, Mom? Will you be OK here for a minute, Matty?"

The little boy grunted his response, eyes glued to the game in front of him.

Casey and her mother got up and made their way back to the kitchenette at the front of the bus. She grabbed a couple of water bottles from the fridge and joined her mother, who was already perched at the small table.

"So you know you guys don't have to stick around for the record store, right?" Casey uncapped her bottle and took a long drag. "It's gonna be an hour and change of you guys sitting around watching me sign autographs and take pictures. I already told Matty it wasn't going to be any fun."

The older woman nodded. "He told me. We'll probably leave from your soundcheck, grab some lunch, and meet you back at the arena."

Casey leaned back against the cushions and blew out a breath. "I can't believe I'm gonna be performing at the freaking Rosemont Horizon." She shook her head in disbelief. "All of the shows I've seen there and I'm going to be onstage."

Her mom grinned broadly. "I'm so proud of you, sweetie. We all are."

In addition to her immediate family, just about all of Casey's local extended family, as well as a few friends were going to be attending the show that evening. The thought of it kind of made her head spin.

She smiled. "Let's hope you're still proud after tonight. Hopefully I don't completely screw everything up."

"You won't, honey," her mom said with a knowing smile. "You'll be great." She stared at her daughter for a moment, her smile slipping slightly. "What's going on, Case?"

Casey avoided her mother's gaze and picked at the label of her water bottle. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Elizabeth began in exasperation, "you flew home last night because you just felt like it, so you say. And since your meeting with Dara this morning you've seemed on edge."

The meeting with Dara had been mostly uneventful, but her manager had informed her that she'd likely be spending the next couple of weeks on the road with her. Though she didn't say it, Casey knew it was so she could keep an eye on her.  

"I just wanted to be home, Mom. That's all. And as for Dara..." She shrugged. "She's spending some time on the tour. Which is...it's fine."

The elder Whitaker pursed her lips and sat back with her arms crossed. "You don't sound like it's fine."

Casey shook her head slightly. "It's fine, Mom. I'm fine. Everything is fine."

Elizabeth watched her for a moment, and Casey pretended not to notice. "Are you sleeping at home again tonight?" she asked her daughter. "You have an afterparty, right?"

"Yeah, probably not. I know Matty's going to be disappointed, but it's going to be late when we leave the club. And then I've got to do a call-in radio thing at like, seven a.m. The club is closer to the hotel so I'll probably just spend the night there."

"He'll be a little upset, but he'll understand," her mother replied. "I think he'll want to come back for tomorrow's show, though. You're leaving straight for Grand Rapids after tomorrow's show, right?"

Casey chuckled, marveling at her mother's ability to remember details. "I have to check with Everett to be sure, but I think the buses are pulling out right away. Maybe after the radio thing we could have brunch in my hotel?"

"I'd like that, and so would your dad and Matt." Casey's mom agreed with a smile and nod. "You seem happier lately, honey. I'm glad."

Casey smiled slightly. "Perfect segue," she muttered under breath.

If she'd been preoccupied after her meeting with Dara, it was more about the issue of JC than anything else. She and her mother were close, and keeping him a secret felt like lying. She wasn't planning on going into detail about the nature of their relationship, but she could at least let her mother know that they were no longer...at odds.

"I am happier lately," she said, nodding.

Her mom watched her intently. "Is there a particular reason for it?"

Thinking of JC and hoping she didn't blush, she tried to meet her mom's eyes but faltered under her gaze. "Ah, just...you know...things are going well. I, um...well, you know how I told you that JC and I didn't really talk or anything?"

Elizabeth nodded. "I remember."

"Well, we...I don't know. We talk now. He's, um, he's really cool, actually." She glanced at her mom and blushed. "So, that's good."

Mrs. Whitaker nodded with a light smile. "That's great, honey. What happened to turn things around?"

"Uh..." Casey wracked her brain trying to come up with a plausible explanation. "We, just, um, you know, kind of accidentally ran into each other one night. And from there we...just started talking. Turns out we have a lot in common."

Elizabeth watched her daughter, the small smile still in place. "Well, whatever's got you smiling more these days, I'm glad for it."

Casey bit her lip to keep the smirk off her face. "Thanks, Mom."

***

Elizabeth smiled up as she watched her daughter from a few rows back. Casey and her dancers were assembled onstage and running through the choreography and staging for her performance. Roadies and various other crew members were moving around everywhere, setting things up, adjusting things; the scene was one of controlled chaos. She shook her head in awe and pride. Her daughter had always wanted this, and she was making it happen. She glanced over at Matty where he sat to her left, kicking his legs listlessly in his chair.

"When's this gonna be over, Mom?" he asked, clearly not impressed. He leaned closer to his mother so he could be heard over the music and other chatter happening onstage and beyond. "And when are we actually gonna be able to spend some time with Casey?"

She smiled. "She'll be done in a few minutes, honey. And I know you want to spend time with your sister, but we talked about this, right?"

Matt blew out a defiant breath. "I know, I know. She's not home on vacation; she's home to work. But still...this sucks, Mom."

She raised a cautioning gaze at him. "Language, Matthew."

"Sorry, Mom." He didn't sound the slightest bit sorry. "So after this Casey has her signing? Then what? Do we get to hang out with her then?"

Casey's mom nodded, slowly. "Yep, she has her signing, and she said you didn't really want to go to that."

His shoulders sagged. "Sitting around in a room while she signs autographs for a million people doesn't sound fun to me, Mom."

She chuckled. "Me either, kiddo. She has a little time before she needs to be at Sam Goody so we figured we'll hang out while she gets ready, and then when she leaves we'll go to lunch. After that we'll come back here."

"And she's coming back here, too, right? After she leaves the store?"

"Right now, as far as I know, yes. But, honey, you know...let's just play it by ear, OK?"

Matt blew out a frustrated breath and looked up at his sister, waving back when she waved at him. "What about tonight? Is she spending the night at home?"

"Um," Mrs. Whitaker began slowly. "I don't know, hon, but I don't think so." He began to grumble and she interrupted him. "Matt, she has something she has to do after the show tonight and it's probably going to be late when she's done. She also has some things to do first thing in the morning so really, it makes sense for her to stay in the hotel, downtown, so she can be close to everything she needs to do."

"She just has a stupid party after the show tonight. Why does she have to go? Or at least, why can't I go with her?"

She chuckled sympathetically. "Well, honey, you can't go because you're not eighteen. And as for it just being a party...well, it is, but it's a working party. And you know she would much rather be hanging out with you." She inhaled. "Matt, look at me please."

He grudgingly looked up at his mother. "I know you miss Casey, and sweetie, she misses you, too. She misses all of us. But she has a job to do, OK? And we need to support her in that. So I need you to just try not to show her how disappointed you are, OK?"

Matt narrowed his eyes skeptically. "You want me to lie, Mom?"

She snorted. "No, smart alec, I don't want you to lie. I know you're not happy that you haven't gotten to spend a lot of time with your sister. And I know she knows it, too. I'm just saying, stop complaining, OK? It's hard on her, too."

Matt pouted for a moment before nodding. "OK, Mom. I'll put my game face on."

She smiled and shook her head. "Do that, kiddo."

"Hey!" Casey's voice boomed from the stage. She waved to her mom and brother. "Can you guys come up here, please?"

Casey's mom and brother vacated their seats and headed to the stage, where a stagehand showed them around to the steps on the side.

"You looked bored out there, Matt." Mike laughed as he clapped the younger boy on the shoulder.

"It's cool, little bro. You'll have fun tonight; I guarantee it." Matt shrugged sheepishly as Casey bumped him with her hip. "So I need to jump in the shower and change before I go to Sam Goody, which means I'm going back to the hotel now. You guys eating around here or coming back downtown?" Along with her mom and brother, Casey and her dancers made their way backstage.

"Uh...we'll stay out this way." Elizabeth addressed Casey's dancers. "Did you guys want to join us for lunch? My treat."

"Thanks, Mrs. W," Lawrence said. "I'm gonna hang out around here and check out craft services. I have some phone calls to make and stuff."

Mike nodded his agreement. "Yeah, thank you for the offer but I'm going back to the hotel, too."

"Same here, Mrs. W. I'm gonna nap. Or sit in the hot tub for awhile," Jasmine said.

As they headed down the hall toward an exit, four familiar voices rose from ahead.

"No, man, that's not what I said at all!" came one voice.

"Dude, we all heard you," was another's response.

"Yeah, we did," said someone else.

"Nuh uh," the first voice insisted. "JC will tell you when he gets here. He heard me."

"Hey, guys!" Casey exclaimed, now that Justin, Chris, Joey and Lance were in view, and just a couple of feet in front of her.

Casey's dancers said their hi's and continued on down the hall.

"Hey, real quick, Mom and Matty, I want to introduce you to...well, *NSYNC."

"Since our C isn't here right now, we're technically *NSYN," Chris pointed out. "Which is kind of ironic considering--"

Justin elbowed Chris in the stomach. "Nice to meet you both," he said, extending his hand to Casey's mother and brother.

Casey shot daggers at Chris before shaking her head. "Meet Justin, Chris, Lance and Joey," she said, pointing to each guy in turn. "Where's JC?"

"In the car on a phone call," Justin said, shaking Mrs. Whitaker's and Matt's hands.

Her mother and brother shook hands with the other four men and exchanged pleasantries.

Casey looked down the hall, almost willing JC to emerge. "Well, I guess you'll have to meet JC later," she said to her family when it didn't seem as if he would appear. "Bruce is waving to me from the door so I guess it's time to go."

"See you guys later!" She directed to four of the five members of *NSYNC.

"We'll tell ‘C you were looking for him," Chris called with a smirk.

As they left the building and approached the waiting SUV, Casey felt eyes on her. She glanced to her left to see her mom smirking. She waited until her dancers had piled into the vehicle and stopped. "Why are you looking at me like that, Mom?"

Mrs. Whitaker smiled slightly. "No reason. We'll see you later, honey. Come on, Matt."

Casey watched her mother and brother get into their car, before joining her dancers.

JC wasn't in the hotel room when Casey arrived, which was just as well. She wanted to get the last bit of pre-concert business out of the way without first having to delve into the previous evening's disappearing act. She was able to shower and change with no distraction, and even spend a little time planning out what she'd say to him. Genevieve and Eloise met her up in the room for hair and makeup respectively, and an hour and a half later she was making the short trip to Sam Goody.

The vehicle rolled down Chicago's Magnificent Mile on an unseasonably warm spring day. On the one hand, she was thrilled to be home. The buildings towered up into the sky seemingly forever and her heartbeat in excitement and familiarity. Taxis drove furiously, riding bumpers and honking horns obnoxiously. Crowds of people were everywhere, tourists stopping to take pictures, business men and women on their way to the next meeting. Everything about the city--the sights, the sounds, even the smells--was familiar to her. Nostalgia welled up in her almost as a physical ache; she really did miss being home.

On the other side of that, she was nervous. This wasn't her first album signing, but it was the biggest, and the first one in her hometown. Silly as it was, she was preoccupied with the prospect of running into someone she didn't want to see. Someone like Tony. It was ridiculous, really. Even if only counting the city limits Chicago was huge, teeming with millions of people; the likelihood of running into anyone she knew was slim. But it was a possibility. And today of all days, that thought was anxiety inducing.

"Please don't let me see anyone I know here," Casey murmured with her nose pressed to the window so she could take in the city view as the sport utility vehicle made it's way to the record store. .

Dara glanced up from the papers that held her attention and raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "I thought you were excited about being home, Casey. Seeing old friends and all that."

Casey turned to her manager, a sour expression on her face. "I am happy to be home; that's not it."

"What is it?" Dara asked the question almost as an afterthought; she'd already returned her attention to her paperwork.

Casey groaned and looked back out the window. "It isn't my friends I'm talking about."

Dara looked at her sharply. "You haven't heard from him, have you?"

Casey turned away from the window again and let her head rest on the seat back, closing her eyes. "No. I just...I don't know."

"It'll be fine. I'm sure he won't show up."

The car pulled up to the curb and she glanced through the window, a little surprised to see a rather generous crowd lined up outside. Some people had even made signs. The anxiety she'd been feeling gave way to excitement. These people were here to see her. It was awesome.

"OK, Casey." Bruce turned around in his seat to face her. "Christoff is gonna get you inside through the crowd."

"No stopping. They'll have an opportunity for pictures and autographs and to talk to you after we get inside," Dara said, reaching for the briefcase at her feet.

Casey nodded and rubbed her hands together. "Let's do this!"

***

She inhaled and exhaled a few times and then bent over to touch the floor. When she straightened up, she swung her arms up toward the ceiling and balanced on her tiptoes. She repeated this motion a few times and then rolled her head and shoulders around a few times.

"You're nervous, aren't you?" Bruce, who was standing by the door,  laughed in her direction. He was a more imposing physical presence than Christoff, which was saying something as Christoff was more than six feet and 185 pounds of muscle.

She grinned wryly and shrugged. "Is it obvious?"

His gaze was wide-eyed and he shook his head in disbelief. "You get onstage night after night and perform for literally thousands upon thousands of people and you don't bat an eye. But you're nervous, to the point that you're almost physically shaking, about signing some CDs for a crowd that's less than half that. I don't get it, Casey."

"It's completely different when I'm onstage," she began slowly. "On this tour, those crowds are there for *NSYNC. It's not even about me."

He nodded, waiting for her to continue.

"Today? This is about me. And it's just different being home." She shrugged again. "I don't know why, but it is."

Bruce nodded at her with a patronizing smile. "Sure, Case, whatever you say."

She narrowed her eyes and threw an empty paper cup at him; his peal of laughter made her smile. "Almost time to go out there, huh?"

At almost that exact instant Dara stuck her head through the door. "They're announcing you now. All set?"

Applause and the sound of a cheering crowd rose up somewhere behind her manager and Casey nodded. "Game time."

***

The light on the keycard reader turned green and JC opened the door. The scent of Casey's perfume wafted from inside the hotel room. It was Givenchy or Cartier, or something else French. Though he couldn't precisely remember the name, the slightly heady fragrance of jasmine was now very familiar to him.

He entered the room, smiling as he emptied his pockets on the small coffee table in front of the couch. Even without her signature scent filling his nose, it was clear that she'd been there. Her things--clothes, shoes, hair products--were scattered on various surfaces. Casey had a tendency to leave a trail behind her. He smiled and sank down onto the the loveseat. He picked up the remote from the table in front of him and, after powering up the television, mindlessly flicked through the channels. His thoughts wandered back to the second time he met her.

She's impressive; he has to give her that.

There are no shortage of aspiring popstars these days, but while many of them are high on style, most are severely lacking in substance. She doesn't appear to fall into that category. For starters, she can sing. She's doing it live in the small rehearsal space, with nothing more than a simple microphone and no pre-recorded vocal tracks to help her out. And she sounds good. Really good. And she's dancing, too. She's gone through three songs so far, with starts and stops to smooth out the kinks.

"Hey, Lawrence, kill the music a moment." Dara gestures to the man standing upfront. "Casey, come here a sec."

Casey stops mid-step as the music dies, and she whirls around. Her eyes meet his briefly before dropping to the floor. She grabs a towel from the floor, blotting at her face before wrapping it around her neck.

He watches as she walks over to them, notices the way she's obviously avoiding his gaze.

"Casey," Dara begins with a smile, "JC says you two weren't properly introduced last night. Casey Whitaker, JC Chasez. JC Chasez, Casey Whitaker."

He smiles and extends a hand. "Nice to meet you, Casey. Officially."

She hesitates for a second before shaking his proffered hand and giving him a polite, yet guarded smile of her own. "You, too. Officially." She nods briefly and turns her attention back to her manager.

"Um...I don't mean to be rude, but we really need to run through ‘Games' a couple more times. The bridge is still tripping me up."

He's surprised; she's not brusque, exactly, but she's not exuding friendliness and warmth either. In fact, it's pretty clear to him that she's trying to get as far away from him as possible.

Dara gives her a puzzled stare. "I'm sure that's fine, but I figured...well, never mind. Is that all right with you, JC?" She turns an inquisitive eye on him.

"That's, um, yeah, that's great." He rubs the back of his neck. "Do you mind if I hang out and watch the rest of your rehearsal?"

There's an almost imperceptible narrowing of Casey's eyes, but her smile widens and she nods affirmatively. "Not at all. Nice meeting you, JC."  She runs back over to the mirror and takes her position with her dancers as Lawrence restarts the music.

Like many other things, they'd never had a conversation about that encounter. Maybe I'll ask her about it later. Not, he figured, that she'd want to talk about it.  With a sigh, he changed the channel again.

***

"Hi, sweetie, what's your name?" Casey asked the little girl in front of her. She looked to be somewhat younger than Matty, and Casey pegged her for being around seven or eight.

She broke into a wide smile, showing off the two front teeth that had obviously recently been lost. "My name's Lauren and you're my favorite singer in the whole world!" she gushed.

Her dimpled smile was contagious and Casey broke into one of her own. "Wow! Thank you so much, Lauren!"

"Oh, Mommy, where is it?" Lauren whirled around to face the woman that was standing slightly behind her.

"Right here," she said, putting something in the girl's hand.

Lauren turned back around and placed a multi-colored, intricately braided friendship bracelet on the table in front of Casey. "I read that your favorite colors are blue and purple so that's why I chose those colors."

Casey picked up the bracelet and grinned. "These are my favorite colors and I love this, Lauren! Thank you so much!"

Lauren beamed proudly as Casey held the bracelet in one hand, and with the other she began autographing a photo for the girl. "So are you going to the show tonight or tomorrow?" As Casey looked up, Lauren's face fell.

"Tickets sold out before I was able to get them," Lauren's mom said.

"I love *NSYNC, too, but now I won't get to see either of you," the little girl said dejectedly.

Casey nodded sympathetically and gestured for Bruce to come closer. "I think I can do something about that, Lauren," she said conspiratorially. "I know some people."

Bruce leaned down and Casey whispered in his ear. "As soon as we're done can you ask Dara to put them on VIP list? I know there's plenty of room in my skybox still if giveaway tickets are all out."

He grinned at her. "You're such a softy."

Casey nodded in the direction of Lauren and her mother. "So in just a minute, I want you guys to go talk to that big guy right over there." She cocked her thumb at Bruce, who had moved back slightly behind and to the side of her table. "But shh," she said, putting a finger to her lips. "You can't tell anyone, OK?

Lauren and her mother wore near identical expressions of happy surprise. That is so kind of you!" the mother gushed. "Thank you so much!"

Lauren clapped her hands together. "Yes! Thank you so much!" she said in an excited whisper. "Can I please take a picture with you?"

Casey stood up from her chair and came around to kneel next to Lauren. "We're friends now, so of course!" She put her arm around the little girl's waist, and Lauren hooked an arm around her shoulders.

On the count of three, Lauren's mother snapped a photo. "Thank you so much, Casey. Seriously, you just made her day."

Casey shook the bracelet she was still holding. "And thank you for this. I'm going to be wearing it tonight, so you have to look for it, OK?"

With a little squeal, Lauren spontaneously gave Casey a huge hug, which she immediately reciprocated. "I'll see you tonight!"

Dara was already waiting next to Bruce, and the little girl and her mother moved to speak with them while the next person in line was motioned forward.

"You seem calmer," Christoff whispered in her ear. "Bruce says you were practically pissing your pants earlier."

Casey snickered and greeted the two young men in front of her. It was true though; now that she was out here in front of her fans she was completely in her element. The sense of foreboding she'd felt earlier had evaporated.

Almost done, she thought with an emotion akin to glee. She was so thankful for each and every person that had come through the line, but it had been a long signing and her hand was beginning to cramp up. Not to mention, the almost nonstop smiling had her cheeks aching. She was looking forward to relaxing for a few hours before the show.

"Hey, whoa. Hold it!" Bruce bellowed. There was a sudden commotion as both he and Christoff came forward to approach the person in front of her.

"What--" the words died on her lips as she recognized the next person in line.

"I just want to get my autograph, guys," the familiar voice said. "I waited out there just like everyone else."

Blood pounded behind Casey's eyes. She was cold and shaky, and she had to concentrate to make her voice come out normally. "Bruce," she said softly. When he didn't immediately respond she was louder. "Bruce. Christoff, it's cool. Just, um...let him come forward."

She could tell that some people in line were watching the unfolding scene with wide-eyed interest. "It's fine, OK? Just let him through."

Both of her bodyguards stared at her as if she had grown a second head. "We don't have to do that, Casey," Christoff said, still staring at the interloper menacingly.

Casey shook her head once, emphatically, and scrawled her name across the black and white photograph in front of her. "Who should I make this out to?" she said, not looking up, but sensing that the person had moved closer.

"Casey."

Her name on his lips made her feel nauseated. She didn't respond. Her bodyguards continued to flank him on either side.

"Come on, Casey. You're not even going to look at me? Is that how you greet an old friend?"

Her head snapped up and her eyes narrowed, scowling at him. The trance was broken and now the only thing she felt staring at him was raw hatred. Remembering that other people in line could still see her, she plastered a smile on her face.

"What the hell are you doing here, Tony?" she asked through clenched teeth.

He looked at her in puzzlement. "What do you mean? You're my favorite singer, you know."

She rolled her eyes and scrawled his name at the top of the photo. "What do you want?"

He stared down at her for a moment without saying anything, the easy smile on his face dropping.

"I think you're done," Bruce said, taking Tony by the elbow.

"I just wanted your autograph." Tony said, deftly moving his arm away from the massive bodyguard.

Casey snorted and slid the picture across the table to him. "Thanks. And since it is my sincerest hope to never see you again, you go have a terrific life, OK? Or, you know, don't. Whatever."

His eyes narrowed and he picked the photograph up. "You've always been a funny girl, Casey." He blew her a kiss and turned to leave. "Take care of yourself." Without a backward glance, he stalked off through the crowd.

***

Amber glanced at the clock, willing it to move just the slightest bit faster. She had another thirty minutes left on her shift and although that wasn't much, time seemed to be inching by. She sighed, and folded what seemed like her five-hundredth sweater of the day.

"So you're really friends with Casey Whitaker, huh?"

She turned around to put a face to the voice that had interrupted her internal complaining. Chuck, a coworker a couple of years her junior, was standing behind her with a perplexed expression on his face.

"And you were on tour with her for awhile?"

Amber smiled and turned back to the circular table of shirts. "Is it that hard to believe?"

He came up next to her and grabbed a sweater to fold. "Well...yeah, kind of. She's like, pretty well-known. It's just weird that someone I know knows someone famous. And those *NSYNC dudes...they're huge, right? So just the fact that she's on tour with them...I know that's big." He whistled low. "Is it weird? Like when you're out with her are people chasing her down for autographs and pictures and stuff?"

She chuckled and tucked a shiny blonde strand behind her ear. "Nah, it's not too weird. I've been out with her a couple times where people have recognized her and wanted an autograph or something, but it's not like she's getting mobbed or anything." She shook her head. "Now *NSYNC, on the other hand. Whew." She blew out a breath. "Their fans are a completely different story."

"I think what's strange," Amber continued, "is just...I'll turn on the radio and hear her voice. Or seeing her in a magazine or something? It always catches me off guard and I have this moment of remembering my best friend is famous."

Chuck picked up another top to fold. "What's she like? Like...is she the same as before or has she changed?"

Amber blinked slowly for a moment, the question catching her off-guard. "No, she hasn't. Not really. Casey's always been...Casey." She chuckled.

He nodded and absently tugged at one hugely gauged earlobe. "Her CD is pretty good. I like her voice," he announced suddenly.

Amber's mouth fell open comically as she took in her co-worker. Aside from the earrings, Chuck was heavily tattooed, with a distinctly punk rock sense of style. From the barbed cuff he wore around one wrist, to his daily uniform of metal band t-shirts and jeans with pocket chains, he looked like he belonged on the pages of Punk Magazine.

"You have Casey's CD? I don't even believe it." She shook her head as if to emphasize her disbelief.

Chuck's smile was sly. "I was flipping channels and saw her video for Games. It was right after I found out you know her, actually." He shrugged. "She was sexy as hell so I bought the CD."

Amber rolled her eyes. "You bought the record because she's sexy? You know, she'd hate to hear that. She really wants people to hear her and not just see her."

"Well, she is sexy, but her album is really good. She has a cool sound."

Amber watched him, completely flummoxed by his admission. The saying was true, she supposed, but she had definitely been judging the book that was Chuck by its cover.

"She's cool." He smiled shyly. "Maybe you can tell her I said that."

Amber eyed him for a moment before raising her eyebrows. "I could. Or maybe you could tell her yourself. Tonight if you're free."

Chuck clear blue eyes widened to saucer sized and his chin dropped nearly to his chest. "What?"

"Well, I know it's not your scene exactly, but I've got another pass to the afterparty tonight. It's at Shadow Lounge tonight."

"You're shittin' me?" He blinked rapidly, and absently ran his fingers through his dirty blonde locks.

"Not at all." Amber laughed. "I think the official start time is 10:30 and I'm heading over after the show. If you can meet me there, it's yours."

"And you'll introduce me to Casey?" His expression was one of dumbfounded amazement.

"Sure," she said with a shrug of her shoulders.  

"Amber..." He moved closer and eyed her intensely. "I owe you."

She grinned. "I'll remember that next time I need someone to cover my Saturday shift."

He nodded fiercely. "Seriously. You got it. Thank you!"

***

The clicking of the door being unlocked roused JC from his thoughts. He looked up to see Casey coming into the room.

"Hey," he said, standing up and stretching. "How was it?" He stopped, noticing the pained expression on her face. "What happened, Case?"

He closed the door behind her as she flung her keycard and phone onto the coffee table.

"Today sucks," she groaned.

He grabbed one of her hands and led her toward the french doors that separated the bedroom from the rest of the suite. The room was decorated in soft, mint green and eggshell, with mahogany accents. Before crossing the threshold of the sleeping quarters, he grabbed the remote off of the coffee table and clicked off the TV in the sitting area.

"What's wrong, honey?" he asked.

She let him lead her over to the bed and collapsed onto it theatrically. "Everything." She rubbed her temples with closed eyes.

JC took a seat next to her inert form. "Where're your mom and brother?"

With her eyes closed she mumbled something he didn't understand.

When she flopped over onto her stomach he leaned over and began gently rubbing her back and shoulders. "I'm sorry I missed meeting them at soundcheck."

"Me, too," she said. "But they'll get to meet you tonight. After the show."

"Where are they now?" he asked softly.

Her nerves were shot after the signing. What she had wanted at first, more than anything else, was to throw a temper tantrum in solitude. Now that she was here, she was glad not to be alone; JC was a much better alternative to pitching a solitary fit.

"They went straight to the Rosemont. I told them I had some things to take care of here." She sighed heavily and didn't say anything more.

"What happened, Casey?" he whispered finally. "Do you want to talk about it?" he continued, when she didn't immediately respond.

She mumbled something incoherent but didn't move from her spot so he continued massaging her shoulders. He glanced at the clock on the bedside table and bent down to bring his lips to her ear. "We've got a little under two hours before they shuttle us off," he said quietly. "That's plenty of time to talk, if you want."

Casey's response was in the form of a pleased moan as his hands made magic of the tense muscles of her back. "Keep doing that," she murmured. "That feels fantastic."

"All right."

His massage took on a decidedly more sensual tone. He leaned over her and began placing soft kisses on her neck. After a few moments she turned over and guided his mouth to hers. She moaned softly as his hands found their way under her shirt, stroking her breasts through the fabric of her bra. He kissed down her chin, across her jaw, and back to her neck and she tilted her head back.

Eyes still closed, she said, "Tony was there. At the signing."

JC stopped abruptly and sat up. "He...what? Did he--"

Casey shook her head quickly, opening her eyes to meet his. "Nothing happened, really. Bruce was going to kick him out, but I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. I signed a stupid picture for him, he said some shit and he left." She tugged JC's arm. "Don't stop, please."

The expression on her face was so pitiful that he momentarily pushed Tony out of his thoughts and bent back down to kiss her again.

"I'm annoyed, JC," she whined against his mouth.

He chuckled. "I can tell."

"Un-annoy me? Please?"

He pulled back to look her in the eye before returning his lips to her skin. She was more than annoyed; that much was obvious to him. But it clearly wasn't the time to force a conversation about her ex. The image of Tony shaking her in Orlando months before came back to him, and he had to forcibly suppress it. They were going to have to talk about things though. He knew that. In the mean time though, she was responding to his touch in all the usual ways. And she had initiated it, and she clearly wanted to not think about Tony as much as he did. And sex was as good a distraction as any.  And he really, really enjoyed having sex with her.

JC pushed her shirt up, sliding his body down to kiss the exposed skin beneath it.

"All you had to do was ask," Casey quipped, wriggling out of the shirt and tossing it to the floor beside her.

JC's fingers followed his lips, dipping down to her navel and rising back up to her collarbone. Casey closed her eyes again and tried to let his touch wash away her feelings.

"I can't believe he showed up like that," she said softly, eyes still closed. "Just out of the blue, like nothing ever happened."

He continued to kiss her lightly, but opened his eyes. He scooted down again, landing kisses on her stomach, and she played with his hair.

"I hate him," she said in the same small but very matter-of-fact voice. "I don't think I've ever hated anyone before. But when I heard his voice and then saw him grinning down at me, the only thing I wanted to do was knock the smile off his face. Along with his teeth. With like, a brick."

When several minutes went by with her saying nothing, JC moved back up and brought his lips to hers. The kiss was deep and insistent, and in no time Casey's body was reacting. She was no less angry than she'd been when her ex showed up unceremoniously--and uninvited--to her record signing. But her anger was currently taking a backseat to her arousal, and in a big way. JC was turning her on and she wanted him. She groaned against him as she felt his fingers brushing over the clasp of her bra. Her mind flew back to her conversation with Jasmine. Maybe it really was just about sex.

She pushed at JC suddenly and sat up. "Are you listening to me?"

He stared at her wide-eyed with the hint of a confused smile on his lips. "I...yes."

She stared at him even as he stared back at her, and she began to feel foolish.

"I was listening to you, Casey," he repeated calmly. "About...Tony showing up. And wanting to hit him with a brick." He cracked a smile at that. "I don't blame you. No one would."

Her shoulders sagged and she shook her head. "I know you were. I just..." she sighed. "Never mind."

JC moved to sit next to her on the bed. "What's wrong, Casey? And I don't mean Tony. Why'd you disappear last night?"

She exhaled deeply and stared down at her lap, careful to avoid his gaze. "I know we talked about it a couple of nights ago, and I know what we said. But are you absolutely sure that what this is isn't just sex?" Her words tumbled out on one breath. "I mean, it's OK if it is, you know? I'm Ok with that. I just...I guess I just want to be sure."

JC furrowed his brows and stared down at her for a moment, silently. "Casey," he said finally, quietly. When she didn't respond he said it again, taking her chin in his hand. "Casey."

He tilted her chin back but it took a moment before she would meet his eyes.

JC shook his head slightly, a small and vague smile on his face, and kissed her slowly.

"So is that a yes or no?" she asked somewhat grimly.

He rubbed one hand on the back of his neck and searched the ceiling for his next words. He finally looked down at her, unblinking. "What did you think of me the second time we met?"

Casey's eyebrows knit together in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," he said leaning back, "what did you think of me? When Dara let me into your rehearsal."

She made a face. "Oh. That."

He chuckled. "Yeah. I was thinking about that earlier today, actually. How the first couple of times we met were...awkward."

"Putting it mildly." She shook her head, eyes closed.

"So what were you thinking? When I came in there? You were kind of short with me."

Casey covered her eyes and lay back on the bed. "I was thinking about the night before. What you saw. With Tony. And I was thinking that, after what you saw, there was absolutely no way in hell that I was still going to be going on tour with you.

"I figured you'd tell Johnny, and Johnny would tell whoever he needed to tell at the label. And I was thinking that my career was over before it began because of my stupid, fucked up relationship."

"Hmm," JC hummed quietly.

"And I was nervous, too," she said softly, uncovering her eyes. "Having JC Chasez show up at my rehearsal with no warning was intimidating, to say the least."

JC laughed in surprise. "What? I'm not intimidating at all."

"OK, JC," she said sarcastically, lifting one eyebrow.

"Seriously, Casey." He stretched out next to her on the bed. "No one would describe me as intimidating."

"Well, not like how I know you now. But then?" She blew out a breath. "I was-- I am -- a big fan, OK? And the prospect of me going on tour with you guys, opening for *NSYNC...that was huge, JC. It's still huge. And then you show up at that rehearsal unannounced--considering what you saw the night before..." She shook her head. "I was terrified and embarrassed. I'm sorry I was also so rude."

JC was quiet for a moment and Casey hooked one of her legs over his. "That night--the one before the rehearsal--what happened, Case?"

"It wasn't as bad as you probably think it was."

"He was shaking the hell out of you," JC pointed out quietly.

"I know," she huffed impatiently. "I just mean that what you saw was the end of it. We left and he passed out. It's not like he, you know, beat me or something."

JC made a little noise of disgust but as he opened his mouth to say more Casey interrupted.

"Can we not, though? I know you probably have questions about all that and I'll answer them. But not now. Please?"

He turned his head to see her looking at him intently and he let out the breath he'd been holding. He nodded slightly. "Ok."

"Thank you," she said softly. She brightened. "Well, other than thinking I was a bitch, what did you think of me that day? At rehearsal?"

"I didn't think you were a bitch." He smiled. "Actually you reminded me of...well, me."

Casey turned on her side to face him fully, a grin on her face. "Yeah? How so?"

"The way you just kept hammering at it until you got it perfect and everyone else did, too. To be honest..." He glanced at her sideways.

"What?"

"I was kind of intimidated by you," he admitted.

She snorted incredulously. "No way! Why?"

"In that small rehearsal space you were just huge. Your presence was huge. I don't know. I was nervous, but I was also pretty, uh, attracted to you."

"Are you still attracted to me?"

JC turned on his side to face her and traced her bottom lip with the tip of his index finger. "Maybe a little bit." He leaned in and placed a soft, slow kiss on her mouth.

Casey closed her eyes and leaned into the kiss before he pulled away.

"I was jealous. Later," he said softly.

Eyes still closed, she raised one eyebrow. "Of what?" she asked, her voice as quiet as his.

"Of how well you clicked with the other guys. With everyone else but me. There was always this unspoken tension hanging over our heads and I didn't know what to do about it. So I kept my distance."

She opened her eyes and looked into his for a moment before turning her attention to the Leo pendant around his neck, fingering it lightly. "I'm going to tell you something but you have to promise not to laugh, OK?"

"OK." He nodded.

She looked up at him, eyes big and somber. "I had a crush on you. A gigantic one. Like going all the way back to when you were on MMC." Her voice was low and earnest.

JC's jaw dropped and he burst out laughing.

Casey slapped him on the leg. "You said you wouldn't laugh!"

"I'm not," he sputtered, "not laughing at what you said, OK? It's just the way you said it!"

She narrowed her eyes and frowned. "How did I say it?"

He hooked an arm around her waist and pulled until she scooted right up against him. "You're so dramatic, Casey. The way you just told me that. The way you brought up Orlando at the ice machine that night." He wriggled his eyebrows and kissed her.

"Even the way you flew home without telling me." He watched as her eyes dropped. "Why'd you do that?"

She sighed. "Because I'm confused."

"What are you confused about?" he murmured.

Still looking at her lap she said, "After Tony, I'm not sure I can or should trust my own judgment." She stopped and met his eyes again.

"You're afraid I'm a bad choice?"

She shrugged. "You could be." She went back to playing with his necklace.

"Casey," he said in the same soft voice. "Look at me."

She closed her eyes briefly before opening them and looking into his.

JC rubbed a gentle hand across her cheek. "I like you a lot. And..." He trailed a finger across her lips. "I kind of think you like me, too."

She smirked. "Is that what you think?"

He smiled and leaned in to kiss her. It was slow and gentle. "Yes," he breathed, pulling away. "I'd put money on it, actually."

She sighed softly. "Yeah, well..."

"I think we're pretty good together. Don't you?"

She bit her lip and nodded slowly.

"I like this." He kissed her again. "I like you. And I meant what I said the other night."

She smiled and leaned forward to kiss him this time. "Just...if you change your mind about that, or about me...just tell me. OK?"

"Does that mean yes?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"Does that also mean we can stop having this discussion?"

"Yes," she laughed.

"Good," he said softly, leaning in for another kiss.

Amber craned her head around, taking in the opulent lobby of the Omni. The brown and cream marble floors were so highly polished she could almost see her reflection in them. There were several sections of seating spaced at intervals around the massive room. It was quiet, soft classical music being piped in from speakers that she couldn't see. A woman and man were seated on overstuffed armchairs on the other side of the lobby, and another woman was speaking with the person behind the front desk. Each sitting area boasted a small bouquet of various white flowers on an accent table; she recognized some as lilies but didn't know what the others were. The result was a lightly floral scent permeating the room, but not in a cloying way.

She smoothed trembling fingers through her blonde locks, sat down on a loveseat a few feet away from the elevators and pulled out her phone. In the lobby, was the text she sent to let Joey know she was waiting. She was nervous suddenly. She hadn't seen him in months and she hoped it wouldn't be awkward. And then there was Casey, and the fact that she still had no clue. She wondered if her friend was somewhere in the hotel or still out signing autographs. As she didn't want to run into her quite yet, she hoped it was the latter. She'd been planning on going straight to the venue, and then she'd gotten the phone call from Joey.

"Hello?" she says, maneuvering into her car.  

"What are you wearing?" the voice asks.

She smiles. "Joey."

"No, pretty sure you're not wearing me. Yet." She snickers and he continues. "Where are you?"

"Leaving work. I'm going to head home to change and then I'm going to the venue."

"Why don't you grab your clothes and meet me at the hotel instead. We've got a few of hours to kill before show time."

She'd gone home, quickly packed an overnight bag, and headed into the city. Thankfully traffic was light and she made it to the hotel in record time. After another five minutes or so, the elevator door opened and a man who was obviously a bodyguard stepped out.

She recognized the large black man as part of *NSYNC's security team, but she couldn't remember his name. When his eyes flitted in her direction, she gave a little wave and stood up.

"Amber, right?" He approached her, extending a hand.

She took his proffered hand and nodded. "That's me. I know we met before but I don't remember your name. I'm sorry."

"No need to be sorry. I'm Kevin and I'm going to take you to the fifth floor." He handed her a plastic tag on a black lanyard. "You need to keep this with you at all times."

Amber nodded and slipped the item around her neck and fell into step next to him, to head back to the elevator.

"I was told to bring you straight to Joey's room." He depressed the button to bring the elevator to the lobby and smirked.

Amber's face flushed bright red and she laughed nervously. "Um, OK. Thanks." She followed him through the open doors and took a deep breath as they made their ascent.

***

"So," Casey said against JC's neck. "We have some time..."

"Time for what?" He grunted when she bit his neck lightly. "No marks that I'm going to have to explain to Eloise, please. Time for what?"

She sat up, straddling his waist, and smiled.

He laughed at the wicked gleam in her eyes. "You look like you're plotting."

She ran her hands down his t-shirt clad torso, to the waistband of his pants. "Nope. Not at all." With a wiggle of her eyebrows, she hooked her fingers in his pants and tugged.

JC raised his arm to glance at his watch and Casey laughed. "We've only got like--"

"Thirty minutes," she interrupted, still pulling at his pants. "Better hurry."

It was funny, almost. The way her anger with Tony's unexpected appearance was, apparently, at least temporarily forgotten. And while they hadn't talked much about him, they had managed a decent talk about them, and ended on a good note. And now she was, well, she was trying to get him out of his pants. And for the most part, he wanted her to. But there was this voice, tiny but firm, suggesting to him that maybe now wasn't the time.

"Case, you were pretty upset when you came in earlier and--"

"And now I'm not," she interrupted with no small bit of defiance in the set of her jaw.

He tried again. "You know, you don't have to do this right now."

She blinked twice, slowly. "I want to." She pulled on his pants again.

With a snicker of acquiescence, and an almost subconscious decision to ignore the voice, JC lifted his hips and let her pull his briefs and pants down in one motion. After pushing the clothing down to his ankles, she scooted back up so that she was hovering over his knees.  

So maybe it wasn't a big deal, since she very clearly wanted to do this, had all but insisted on it. He was thinking about it all, while her eyes were on his, unblinking, and she smiled slightly, reaching for him. And then he wasn't thinking of anything but her mouth, on him.

He sighed when Casey took hold of him, gently running her fingers up and down his length. Within moments, he was growing in her hand and biting his lower lip. Not breaking their eye contact, she leaned over teasingly slipped her tongue over his tip. With a soft moan, she dragged her tongue down the full length of him on one side, swirled it around, and back up the other side. Taking hold of the base of his penis, she closed her lips over the head, sucking with gentle yet firm pressure..

JC's mouth fell open with a grunt and his breath caught in his throat as he watched her head bob up and down in his lap. Her tongue swirled over and around him, and as she moved up and down his length, her hand followed, adding gentle pressure as she stroked him.

"Casey," he managed through clenched teeth. "Mmm...fuck."

Keeping her mouth and tongue working on him, she released him, placing both of her hands on his upper thighs. She leaned over further, bracing herself on him, and massaged his thighs as her head bobbed. She worked him slowly for a few minutes, lips and tongue moving in tandem in a steady glide up, down and around.

JC placed one hand on her head and tangled his fingers through her hair, peering down at her. As her speed increased, so did his breathing. His eyes closed and he continued to mumble encouragement to her.  

Without thinking about it, he tightened his hold on the back of her head and began thrusting upward into her mouth. When she gripped his hip with one hand and with her other massaged him, he couldn't help the whimper that escaped his mouth.  

He was close; that familiar feeling in the pit of his stomach, the tightening in his balls told him so. And even though he was moderately sure she knew, he wanted to tell her. Just to give her a heads up. But with the way she kept swirling her mouth around him, the steady rhythm she was maintaining, much of what was coming out of his mouth was unintelligible, he was sure.

"Case," he grunted once. With that, he was careening over the edge...against the back of her throat.

Casey continued to suck him until he collapsed back against the pillows, breathing shallowly. She sat up and, with a coy smile, reached over and grabbed JC's wrist. "Fifteen minutes to spare," she said, looking at his watch. She leaned over and whispered in his ear. "Told you we had time."

Before she could move away JC grabbed the back of her head and pulled her in for a deep kiss. He ended it but kept his hold on the back of her head, staring at her intently.

"What?" Casey laughed a little.

He continued to look into her eyes, not quite sure what he was expecting to see. "You sure you're OK?"

"Don't I seem OK to you?" She grinned and pulled out of his grasp. "I should probably freshen up before it's time to go." With a wink, she hopped off the bed.

She did, he thought, seem OK. And maybe she was. Except that tiny voice was still in his ear suggesting that maybe she wasn't. With a groan, he pushed himself up off the bed. He needed to freshen up, too. And for the second time that day, he pushed the voice aside.

***

Joey cradled the phone against his ear and listened to the ringing on the other end.

A slightly frazzled female voice answered on the third ring. "Joey? Where are you? Your bodyguard told me he was taking me to your room, but--" She stopped short. "Hey, hold on; someone is at the door."

"Yeah, you should definitely answer that," he said.

Amber headed to the door and when she pulled it open, she found herself standing face to face with one Joseph Fatone, Jr.

"Welcome to Chicago," she laughed. She stepped back and hung up. When he continued to stand in the hallway smiling at her she said, "So, you planning on coming in or...?"

"I am definitely planning on coming." He smirked down at her. "You, too, I hope."

Before Amber could respond to the smart ass comment, Joey closed the distance between the two of them, letting the door shut behind him. He pulled her into an embrace, hands on her butt, his lips pressed to her neck.

"We should," Amber gasped, feeling light headed, "we should take to this to the bed."

Joey shook his head, pouting. "The bed? That's no fun at all."

Amber raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"There is a perfectly good wall right here."

Amber bit her lip and nodded. "Yeah. That sounds...that's good."

***

Joey and Amber lay in a tangled heap on the floor, having eventually slid down the wall. "So why don't you want Casey to know about this?" he asked after his breathing returned to normal.

She groaned and slung one arm over her face. "It's not that I don't want her to know, I guess. It's just..." she faltered, searching for the right combination of words.

"Just what?" Joey probed when she failed to say anything more.

"Casey can be...well, you know," she supplied weakly.

"Not as well as you do," he offered. He untangled his legs from hers and turned over. "Can we get off the floor now?" He kneeled and reached a hand to help her up.

They each grabbed their clothing from the pile on the floor and began pulling on their underwear as they talked.

"She thinks she has to look out for me, I guess." Amber said.

"She think I'm dangerous or something?" He chuckled, pulling his shirt over his head.

"Nothing like that, but she, um, just kind of told me about the girls. On the road. That you, uh...encounter." She eyed him furtively, trying to gauge his reaction.

He snorted. "She thinks I'm a whore." It wasn't a question.

She shook her head quickly. "Casey really does like you, Joey. And she didn't say that. And anyway, it's about me and not you." Her expression became decidedly defiant.

Joey took a deep breath and measured his next words carefully. "You're fun, Amber. I've had fun with you. Twice. But, um, I mean you know it's just that, right?" He watched her from the corner of his eyes.

She nodded slowly. "You told me that before and I told you that I was fine with it. And I'm here now, right? This," she gestured between them, "is definitely fun. Even if it ends up being absolutely nothing more than exactly what it is right now.

"Casey just...she thinks she knows things about me now, based on things she used to know about me," she said finally.

He raised an eyebrow. "And what exactly does that mean?"

Amber shook her head. "I'm not trying to be your girlfriend, Joey. As for Casey and what she thinks.." She blew out a breath in a huff. "It's none of her business," she finished defiantly.

"Whatever you think is best." Joey looked over at the clock. "I'm going to jump into the shower before they come to get me. Are you riding to the venue with Casey?"

She shrugged. "I don't know what I'm doing yet. I'll see if I can find out while you're in the bathroom."

He nodded and gathered up the rest of his clothing. "Ok, well, I'll be in and out quick. We'll call Everett if we need to." He headed for the bathroom as she finished dressing.

***

They were back on the road to the Rosemont Horizon--Casey and Jasmine in the back, Dara in the passenger seat, Bruce driving. Their vehicle was the third in a line of four, with the other three carrying the rest of her dancers, as well as the members of *NSYNC and their security team.

Casey was only semi-aware of the conversation Jasmine and Bruce were engaged in; it had something to do with the Chicago Bulls and the home game they were playing that same evening against the Seattle Supersonics. She leaned her head against the glass and closed her eyes.

Everything about the day had felt off. It started in the morning; the conversation with Dara had been less than pleasant. Her manager wasn't happy to hear that her sharing a bed with JC had become something of a permanent arrangement. She was also not impressed with the fact that she wasn't consulted first.

Tony showing up at the autograph signing had almost ruined the rest of the afternoon, but a perfectly lovely interlude with JC changed all that. And it was nice, admitting her feelings finally. It should've been a load off her chest. And it had been, until ten minutes earlier.

JC's arm is around her shoulder and she's leaning into him. They, along with Bruce, Jasmine, Mike, Joey, Chris, and Eric, are all laughing as Lonnie finishes telling them about the two young women that managed to make it up to their floor, hidden in a laundry cart. With a ding of the bell, they reach the ground floor and the doors slide open.

They're walking through the doors, across the lobby. It's mostly empty, and the few people there are hardly paying them any attention. But her heart is beating faster and harder in her chest. And she can't even hear Lonnie anymore; his voice has faded into the background. And she's hyper aware of the fact that JC's arm is still around her shoulder. Chris is making a joke about something, and everyone is cracking up. And there come Lawrence and Christoff, along with Johnny, Justin and Lance and their security, coming out of the other elevator.

Justin catches her eye, nods and winks. He sees it too, the way JC hasn't let go of her yet. And they're getting closer to the automatic revolving door of the main entrance, and through the glass she can see there's already a bit of a crowd. Their personal bodyguards are communicating with hotel security, and her feet are carrying her ever closer to the door. And JC's arm is growing heavier on her shoulders and she stops, mid-step.

"What's wrong?" He's looking down at her, gorgeous blue eyes filled with genuine concern.

She smiles, drops to one knee, and lies. "Something's in my shoe. You go ahead. I'll see you soon."

He opens his mouth the protest, but Johnny chooses that precise moment to say something to him about something or other, and they walk away together.

Bruce comes up alongside her, and she removes the imaginary object from the heel of her shoe and when she looks up again, JC's already through the doors. She hears the screams of the fans outside, excited to get a glimpse of *NSYNC, and she stands up, feeling lighter.

Would he have walked through that door, under the watchful eyes of the throng of fans, with his arm still around her? The thought made her vaguely queasy.

And that wasn't even touching Amber. It'd been months since they'd since each other, since Amber left the tour. And since then, things weren't quite...well, the way they'd been before. They talked less, and when they did talk it was a little surface and sometimes almost forced. Casey hoped that seeing each other, face to face, would ease some of the tension.  

The plan had been to meet at the Rosemont, hang out before the show, and go straight to the after party at Shadow together. But Amber had sent a furtive text, saying that she'd come to the hotel first for some reason, and would just see her after the show. And by the way, where could she could pick up her room key. And never mind about the VIP pass, because she'd apparently run into Joey and he had taken care of securing one for her.

The whole thing was odd and all in all, Casey's head was beginning to swim. She couldn't wait to get to her dressing room and spend a little while with her family.

Without turning around from the front seat Dara replied, "What's wrong, Casey?"

She glanced up, seeing Dara's watchful eye on her from the mirror in the visor. "Nothing." She sighed deeply.

"Even if he's at the show, he'll never get close to you. You know that right?" Dara continued to stare at her through the mirror.

Jasmine's eyes narrowed and she looked between Casey and Dara. "Who won't get close to you?"

"You didn't tell her?'' Bruce asked from the driver's seat.

"No, I didn't tell her." Casey rolled her eyes and groaned.

"Tell me what?" Jasmine asked.

"Tony showed up at Sam Goody," Casey muttered under breath.

"What?" Jasmine's voice rose incredulously. "What happened? What did he--"

"Nothing," Casey cut in tersely. "I autographed a picture for him and he left. And could you guys please not saying anything else about it? I don't need my mom and dad freaking out over nothing.

"Anyway," she continued, getting louder when Dara tried to speak over her, "I'm not worried about him. I wasn't even thinking about him just now."

Dara swiveled in her seat, her gaze on Casey watchful. "Something else bothering you then?"

Casey turned her attention back to the window. "Just ready to get this show on the road, is all."

Matthew's yawn was long and loud and Casey snickered. "None of that when I'm onstage, OK, kiddo?"

He grinned, the single dimple in his left cheek identical to his big sister's. "I won't; I promise."

"So where's everyone else?" Paul Whitaker asked from the overstuffed chair in the corner.

"Mike's still in costuming and Lawrence and Jazz are...around somewhere." She twisted into another stretch on the floor.

The Rosemont Horizon was huge, replete with any number of dressing rooms and lounges backstage. Assuming Casey would want to spend all available time with her family, her dancers went elsewhere. She, along with her parents and brother, were spending the last bit of time before the show in a small, but cozy dressing room.

The space was painted a deep burgundy, and all of the furniture was a plush, chocolate brown microfiber. In addition to the chair her father occupied, another identical chair was in the opposite corner. There was also a loveseat, currently being shared by her mother and brother, with some throw pillows, and a rug on the floor. The rug and accents were all in brown and cobalt.

She'd already been through hair, makeup and costuming, and with just under an hour before show time, was getting into her performance zone. She had just stood up when someone knocked on the door twice in rapid succession.

She pulled the door open and grinned in surprise. "Hey, you!" She stepped back to allow JC to enter the room. "I was beginning to think we wouldn't see you until after the show."

He wasn't yet in costume, donning black sweats and a nondescript black hoodie that was zipped up to this throat. As was often the case when he wasn't out performing, he was wearing a baseball cap, this one repping the Chicago White Sox, with the bill pulled down low on his forehead. He smiled and she felt a flutter in her stomach when the familiar scent of his cologne hit her nose.

JC crossed the threshold and, with a shy smile, nodded in the direction of her family. "I missed you all before soundcheck so I just wanted to stop and say hi before the show. It gets pretty crazy afterward." He looked down at Casey who was looking up at him. "I'm not interrupting am I?"

She shook her head quickly, a delighted smile on her face. "Not at all." She tugged his arm and pulled him over to where her mother and father were now standing. "JC, this is my mom Elizabeth, my dad Paul, and my brother Matt." She pointed to everyone in turn. "Guys, this is...well, the official ‘C' of *NSYNC." She snickered at her own lame joke. "Otherwise known as JC Chasez."

"Nice to meet you all." He shook hands with her parents and her brother and everyone exchanged the requisite pleasantries.

"We're really looking forward to the show tonight, JC," Elizabeth said enthusiastically.

Casey chuckled. "So, you should probably know that my mom is a huge *NSYNC fan. And she's actually probably more excited about seeing you all in concert than she is about seeing me."

JC, Matty and Paul laughed while Elizabeth shook her head with a grin leveled her gaze at her daughter. "That's not true at all, honey. I am absolutely thrilled to see you performing tonight...and I'm also really excited to see *NSYNC." She laughed.

"Well, I can tell you with no bias that this girl here, " JC smiled down at Casey and nudged her with his elbow, "puts on one heckuva show. She's amazing on stage. I wouldn't be surprised if we were opening for her in the not too distant future."

Casey dipped her head, enjoying his compliment but feeling a little embarrassed as well. "Oh, stop," she mumbled, poking him the side. "Your bajillions of adoring fans would never let that happen."

"We'll co-headline, then." He winked at her and Casey's heartbeat increased.

"Sounds like a plan." She grinned up at him, eyes bright and dancing and he felt it like a physical force that sent chills up and down his limbs.

He coughed and forced himself to take his eyes off of her and put them back on her family. "Well, um, it was nice to meet you all. Like I said, I just wanted to say hi so I'm gonna let you guys get back to your family time. And I really do hope you enjoy the show tonight."

"It was very nice to meet you, too, JC, and we will." Elizabeth took one of JC's hand in both of hers. "I hope this isn't the last time."

Paul shook JC's hand again. "Good to meet you."

Casey moved to walk out with him. "So you're not gonna wish me luck tonight?"

He grinned down at her. "You don't need luck; you've got talent."

"You're the expert," she said, clearly pleased.

"Hey." He turned as she pulled the door open for him. "Are you doing the VIP thing tonight or going home with your family?" His bright blue eyes held on to her brown ones intently and she sensed something else lurking behind the words.

I'll be at the club tonight."

"And then?" JC licked his lips while looking at hers; Casey caught the subtle shift in his gaze and smirked. "After that, I mean." This time, there was nothing subtle about the openly hungry way he was looking down at her.

Feeling shockwaves course her body she glanced over shoulder and, glad to see her parents and brother in the midst of a conversation, pulled the door closed. "I'm coming back to the hotel," she said softly.

"There you are!" Joey jogged toward them from the hallway. "Genevieve wants your ass parked in her chair in the next five minutes." He shook a finger in JC's direction.

With an effort, they both turned to face him. "Uh, yeah, OK," JC directed to Joey.

"I'll see you guys later," Casey said, beginning to turn the door handle.  

"Hey, Casey," Joey called.

She turned to face the two men again. "What's up?"

"Your mom? She's a total milf." He nodded, a sly smirk on his face.

Casey wrinkled her nose in distaste as JC shook his head and groaned. "That's really disgusting, Joey."

"Seriously, Joe?" JC echoed her disdain.

Joey shrugged and smiled goodnaturedly. "I don't mean any disrespect or anything. They say if you want to know what a chick's gonna look like when she's older, look at her mom. Your mom's hot, Casey." He looked over at JC. "It's something to think about, man." With a nod, he sauntered off.

JC and Casey stared at each other and burst out laughing. "Is there ever a time that he's not thinking about sex?" she said.

"Maybe when he's eating." JC shook his head and snickered. "I gotta get to Genevieve. I'll see you later, OK?" With a wink he was off down the hall.

Casey took a deep breath and opened the door, re-entering the room with her family.

"Matt wants to check out the concession stand," Paul was saying. "So we're going to do that, and go to our seats, I guess."

Elizabeth nodded. "Ok. I'll meet you guys soon."

Paul kissed his daughter on the cheek on his way to the door. "Break a leg, kiddo."

She winked at her dad and gave him a thumbs up before hugging her brother. "Get the nachos," she said, affectionately rubbing the top of his head. "Or the chili fries. They're awesome."

"Good luck, Case!" he said, before following his father out of the room.

"So," Elizabeth said as the door closed behind her husband and son. She eyed her daughter with the hint of a smile on her lips. "JC."

Casey sat back down in the chair she had previously occupied. "What about him?"

"He seems nice."

"Oh, yeah. He is." She nodded, chuckling nervously.

"It was really nice of him to stop by before the show, just to meet us ."

"Um...yeah. That's JC." Casey kept glancing up at her mother, trying to decipher the semi-amused expression on her face. She could tell she was about to say more, and her mind raced.

She had closed the door behind them when she walked out into the hallway; her mom couldn't have possibly heard any of the conversation. And even if she had, she was pretty sure they hadn't said anything too incriminating. She hoped.

"So how exactly did you guys go from not talking to...talking?" Elizabeth asked mildly.

"I, uh...we..." Casey tried to think quickly, mentally kicking herself for not coming up with some sort of story earlier. "Like I said earlier, we just kind of ran into each other one night and we, um...started talking about, um...stuff." She twisted her thumb ring.  

"Hmm." Elizabeth's smile widened. "And now?"

Casey's forehead creased as she looked at her mother in confusion. "And now...what? We're friends."

"And so he came to your dressing room before the show, ostensibly to meet your parents. Just because you're friends now?" She raised an eyebrow, grin in place, and shook her head slightly at her daughter.

Put in those terms, maybe it did sound a little suspect. But Casey was certainly not going to give her mother any more information than was absolutely necessary. She shrugged again. "It's not a big deal, Mom. JC's just...like that. And I've talked a lot about you guys to him, you know? When we're...hanging out or whatever."

"Hanging out?" Elizabeth pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows. "Euphemistically speaking, right?"

"Mom!" Casey sputtered.

Elizabeth almost doubled over with laughter as she watched her daughter's display of wide-eyed discomfort. "Oh, Casey, don't ‘Mom' me. And for the record, if you're trying to pass off whatever's going on between you and JC as ‘just friends' you shouldn't do it when the two of you are in the same room."

Momentarily forgetting her hair and makeup, Casey cradled her head in her hands and looked down at her lap. She was close to her mother, extremely close. And although her mother was well aware that her daughter's virginity had long been gone, the prospect of talking about her sex life with her mom made Casey feel more than a little uncomfortable.

"So, the truth. What's going on with you and JC?" Elizabeth regarded her daughter with amused curiosity.

"Nothing really," Casey mumbled.

Elizabeth snorted. "Liar."

"Mother!" Casey made a face.

"Honey, I know you're on stage every night and you're used to putting on a show for strangers, but I'm not one. I've known you your entire life and I know you well. There is a whole lot more than ‘nothing' going on. And I'm not asking for details--"

"Good, because I wouldn't give them to you," Casey interjected.

"--but you can be honest with me." Elizabeth crossed her arms loosely over her chest.

"It's just..." Casey rolled her head around on her neck and sighed deeply. "Everything with Tony wasn't all that long ago, you know? And JC and I are...we've been spending, uh, a lot of time together. And I guess I just feel like, with all that happened, especially the way things ended, maybe it looks bad that I'm involved with someone new, so quickly."

Elizabeth uncrossed her arms and clasped her hands together in her lap, leaning forward slightly in her seat."Casey, from where I sit, it's blatantly obvious that you like JC. A lot. And that you're happier now and just...lighter...than you have been in a long time. Am I wrong?"

With a small smile, Casey shook her head. "No, you're not wrong."

"Then what about it could possibly look bad?" Elizabeth smiled. "He's clearly smitten with you."

"Really, mom? Smitten?" Casey rolled her eyes and smiled. "He's so...different. But in a good way. And I don't think I can even really explain how. It's only been a couple of months but I...you're right. I like him. A lot."

"Like that wasn't obvious." Elizabeth snickered. "Now it's also obvious that he's the reason we've been getting fewer late night phone calls from you."

Casey bit back a grin, standing up from her chair.

A knock sounded at the door and Jasmine appeared when it opened. "‘Scuse me, but, Case, we need you out here now."

"On my way," Casey directed to her friend. Turning to her mom she said, "Guess we'll have to continue this later. Or not." She grinned.

"Come here." Elizabeth wrapped her arms around her daughter and kissed her cheek. "I love you and I'm so proud of you."

"I love you too, Mom. Thank you."

"Break a leg!" Elizabeth patted her daughter's shoulder and exited the room to the left.

With a wide smile, Casey walked out behind her and linked arms with Jasmine; the two young women headed in the opposite direction down the backstage hallway. "We're going to kick ass tonight. I feel it."

Jasmine grinned. "Hell yeah!"

***

Amber inhaled deeply. Casey's set over, she was backstage, waiting for her friend to emerge from her dressing room. She knew she'd be coming to the private skybox, but she hoped to grab a moment alone with her friend before being surrounded by all of her friends and family.

She hadn't seen Casey in a couple months, and the last time things had been a little chilly.  That, she reasoned, was really on account of Tony.

"I don't get it, Casey," Amber huffs, furiously crossing her arms. "That lying bastard was doing more than just talking to her!"

Casey rolls her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose. "I don't want to do this now, Amber."

"But, Case--"

"I'm serious!" Casey's voice rises, but after she looks around to make sure she hasn't brought attention to herself, she lowers her voice and blows out a breath. "I believe you, OK? But it doesn't matter. I know that it doesn't make sense--"

"It sure doesn't!" Amber retorts furiously. "He's treating you like shit, Casey, and you're letting him."

Casey glances over her shoulder and sees Tony coming near, his expression stormy. "I'll explain later, OK? Just..." She throws one more backward glance at her boyfriend. "Stay. Have fun. Dance. Drink. We'll talk tomorrow, OK?"

"Casey!" Tony's voice booms. "Let's go."

Casey pleads with Amber with her eyes. She mouths, "We'll talk tomorrow."

Amber nods curtly. "Fine."

Casey plasters a smile on her face, turns and takes Tony's hand and they walk away.

There was no talking tomorrow. Or the next day, at least not about Tony. What there was, was some distance between them after that. And mostly, Amber acknowledged, on account of herself. It didn't make sense, Casey's relationship with Tony. He was an asshole through and through, and she always seemed to make excuses for him. Or else she pretended like she didn't notice. Notice the way he constantly flirted with other women. Notice how nasty he could be when he was talking to her. And because she knew her friend wasn't an idiot, Amber couldn't make sense of why she was, apparently, acting like one.

She was only on the tour for a few more days after that, and she wanted an explanation for why her friend would continue to stay with a man who disrespected her at every turn. When the explanation wasn't forthcoming, she pulled away. After she left, conversations with Casey were fewer and farther between.

Pulling up to the venue had been surreal. While the vast majority of the crowd were females of various ages obviously there to scream themselves silly for *NSYNC, she'd seen a few fans with signs and other paraphernalia associated with Casey and her music. My best friend is a bonafide celebrity. Amber smiled to herself. It was evident, what with all of the hoopla going on around her, but it was still a difficult concept to wrap her mind around. In the months it had been since she had been on the road, it was clear that Casey's star was rising quickly.

Above everything else, she had hoped that Casey's new found fame wouldn't be the reason everything changed.

***

Her usual post-show rush was an all-out euphoria that night; her first major arena performance at home had gone spectacularly well. As she ran backstage amidst the raucous shouts from the crowd, Casey was positive that there wasn't a drug available--illicit or otherwise--that could make her feel any higher than she was.

Her dancers were as giddy as she was, laughing and whooping it up. Every bit of discomfort and tension from the eventful day had faded as soon as she hit the stage. Everything--every step, every note--had been executed perfectly. She noticed Everett a little further down the hall and although he was in the midst of an exchange on his walkie talkie, he nodded in her direction, smiled and gave her a thumbs up. She'd originally planned on changing quickly, before heading to the skybox to be with her family and friends, but she was almost vibrating with energy now. She decided to stay in costume and go straight to the box to watch the rest of the concert.

With the help of a crew member she was taking off her headset mic and the accompanying bodypack transmitter when she heard the familiar voice.

"That was awesome!"

Rid of the equipment, Casey turned and practically launched herself into Amber's open arms. "Hi, you!" she squealed, as her friend squeezed her back. "

"You were so amazing tonight, Case!" Amber gushed. "Sitting there and seeing you play at home was just...wow! I'm pretty sure your mom was crying.."

"That sounds like my mom." Casey giggled and sobered. "So what happened earlier? Is everything OK?"

Amber looked confused for a moment before realization dawned on her. "Oh...I, um, yeah. Everything's fine, I just...we'll talk later, OK? I just wanted to tell you, before we head back out there in front of everyone, that I'm really happy to see you. I know when I left things were a little weird and all, but I'm happy to be here."

"I'm glad you are too. " Casey squeezed Amber's arm and smiled.

Shadow was only few blocks away from the hotel so the guys went back to their rooms to shower after the show. They rolled up to the nightclub afterward to a seemingly endless line of fans hoping to get into the place. Bouncers from the club played backup to their security, and *NSYNC, along with Johnny, was ushered through open doors. Though the place looked relatively small on the outside, it was quite spacious inside. They were led through the center of the main part of the club, flanked by security.

The lights in the club were low, accented by occasional bursts of bright colored strobes and the guys couldn't see much. Still, they made an effort to look in every direction and smile and wave to the screaming mass of people surrounding them. They were led to a staircase at the back of the club, where two more of Shadow's bouncers stepped aside to let them ascend.

The VIP section was essentially a balcony that extended around the peripheral  walls; the entire main floor could be seen from the top. One side housed the section's full-service bar, while the opposite side was the dance floor. The middle section was filled with plush couches and loveseats, done in shades of crimson and cream. Black accent tables were scattered between the seats, directly under crystal chandeliers.

The entire entourage stopped as a blonde man in jeans and a sports coat pulled Johnny to the side and began whispering in his ear. While they waited, JC glanced around the space squinting, looking for Casey. He knew she'd come straight to the club from the Rosemont, so she had to be around somewhere. Compared to the crowd downstairs, the VIP area was pretty sparsely populated. But in the relative dark, and without his glasses, he couldn't really see anyone but the people standing right near him. He was still looking around when he felt someone nudge him.

"Did you hear any of that, ‘C?" Chris was looking at him expectantly.

JC smiled slightly and shook his head. "No."

Chris chuckled and inclined his head slightly across the room. "She's over there. By the bar."

JC narrowed his eyes and could just make her out, standing several inches shorter than the group of people she was surrounded by. "Thanks."

"Now that the important stuff's taken care of," Chris snickered, "you should probably know that the guy that Johnny was talking to is the guy who manages this place. He's gonna introduce us from up here, and we're gonna wave to all of the people down there." He pointed to people gathered on the dancefloor below them.

As if on cue, another employee handed the manager a microphone. He gestured toward *NSYNC, waving them closer, and the screams from the crowd increased to near deafening levels.  

***

"Oh, there he is!" Amber pointed to the tall, thin young man slowly approaching the bar. "You made it! Casey, this is my friend Chuck. Chuck, meet Casey Whitaker."

Casey smiled at the tall, thin young man. With his tattoos and multiple facial piercings, he looked to be completely out of his element in that evening's crowd.

"Nice to meet you." She held out her hand in his direction.

Chuck blinked a couple of times, face flushed, before seeming to notice that Casey was holding out her hand.

She laughed as he shook her hand, still staring at her slack-jawed. He was nervous meeting her, which she found rather charming and a little unexpected. Despite the fact that she'd spent part of her afternoon signing autographs for people, she still didn't think of herself as a celebrity. Particularly not in a building with *NSYNC.

"I...um...you, too," he mumbled.

Amber snorted. "You still didn't believe me, did you?"

Still smiling, Casey's forehead wrinkled in confusion as she looked over at her friend. "Believe you about what?"

"N-no," Chuck stuttered, eyes darting back and forth from Casey to the floor. "I believed you. I just mean it's like...real. That I know someone who's actually friends with a celebrity." His face flushed as the words came out.

"If you want to meet some real celebrities, I'll introduce you to those guys over there." She nodded to the side of the room where Justin and Chris were talking with a small group of people. "I could tell as soon as they came in; the volume went up forty decibels. And it's like that. All. The. Time."  

"What happens all the time?" someone interrupted, coming up behind Casey.

She and Amber turned to see Joey and Lance. "Your fans lose their shit when you walk into a room." She snickered. "Lance, Joey, this is Chuck. Chuck, meet Lance and Joey of *NSYNC."

"Nice to meet you," Chuck said, shaking each man's hand in turn.

"Let me guess," Joey began with a mock serious expression on his face. "You must be here to see Casey tonight."

Chuck snorted. "Uh...yeah. No offense."

"None taken," Lance laughed. "You never know, but you don't exactly look like an *NSYNC fan."

"What are you drinking tonight, Chuck?" Casey cut in with a laugh.

He shook his head. "I'm not. I really just came to meet you. I open the store tomorrow so I need to head home."

"Already? You just got here."

He smiled. "This, uh, isn't really my speed."

The group laughed and Casey nodded. "Well, it was nice to meet you." She shook his hand again.

"Pleasure was all mine," he affirmed. "Um...do you think it would be OK if I took a picture with you before I leave?" The blush crept back to his face and Casey grinned.

"Of course it would be," she agreed enthusiastically.

He handed his camera over to Amber and stood next to Casey. Casey wrapped her arm around his waist and he grinned in surprise. Just as quickly, he put his arm around her shoulder.

"All right, say cheese on the count of three," Amber said. She counted off and snapped the picture.

Chuck said goodbye to everyone and headed back out through the door to the main part of the club.

"Great show tonight, Case," Lance said with a nod. "I was able to catch part of it. Excited to be back home?"

"I was nervous as hell to be back home. But things went well, I think," she answered.

Joey nodded as he stood next to Amber. "Oh, yeah, Case, your energy onstage tonight was...well, it rivaled JC. And that's saying a lot."

She snickered. "Speaking of JC...where is he?"

"Um," Joey began, "I think he--"

"Wait, why are you looking for JC?" Amber's eyes narrowed on Casey. "You and JC don't talk."

Casey's eyes closed. Dammit. She'd already done two lemon drop shots, and what with the excitement of the show, and the boosted bass in the club seeming to pump through her veins, she was feeling good. Maybe a little too good. And extremely loose-lipped, apparently. JC was a subject she was planning on having with Amber in private. Not in the midst of the loud, crowded club.

"I, um...we actually do talk. Now. JC and I have kind of been...seeing each other."

She blew out a noisy breath and met her friend's eyes. Since the cat had inched its way out of the bag, there was no time like the present. And maybe Amber would take it well.

"Seeing each other," Amber repeated softly. "Since when?"

"It's been a couple of months," Casey mumbled.

Amber's smile was quick and hard. "After hating him for a couple of months, now you've been seeing him. For a couple of months. Just like that."

A headache formed behind her eyes, and Casey massaged her temples. Maybe not. She groaned. "I never hated him, Amber. You know that."

"I'm going to go find JC," Joey interrupted. When his comment seemed to go ignored by both young women, he made eye contact with Lance.

"I'll help you," Lance put in. "Good to see you Amber." Both men walked off, still unnoticed by the two women.

"That's just great, Case." Amber nodded her head quickly, voice dripping with sarcasm. "You've been seeing JC for months and I'm just now hearing about it? Were you going to say anything about it ever?"

Casey rolled her eyes. "Of course I was going to tell you, Amber. I--"

"When, Casey?" Amber glared down at her, anger radiating out of her. "When were you going to tell me? Because in the past couple of months I've talked to you several times and you haven't once mentioned the fact that you're," she made air quotes with her fingers, "seeing JC. And what the hell does that mean anyway? Because you've been seeing him daily for months now. So I'm assuming you mean you're fucking him."

"Dammit, Amber! Could you keep it down?" Amber's voice had steadily risen on the last sentence she was all but screaming. Casey glanced around in embarrassment, seeing that a few people had clearly heard the exchange.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about JC, OK? But I'm not going to fight with you about this. Not here, and especially not tonight. Now isn't the time--"

"Oh, yeah, that's right, Casey. It's not the time because you say it's not the time and you're the--"

"Ladies, you may want to bring it down a notch. You have an audience." Though neither Casey nor Amber had noticed, Joey had returned to where they were standing, with JC coming up next to him.

"Hi, Amber." JC looked between her and Casey quizzically. "What's going on?"

Amber's eyes left Casey's face and traveled to JC's. "So I hear you and Casey are on better terms now?" Her smirk was devoid of any good humor.

JC glanced at Casey and nodded slowly. "Um, yeah. You could say that."

Amber's smile dropped from her face as she looked back at Casey. "You're such a hypocrite."

"A hypocrite?" Casey sputtered. "How am I a hypocrite?"

"Case," JC, interjected, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Maybe you should wait ‘til--"

"No." She shook her head emphatically. "I want to know how I'm a hypocrite."

JC and Joey exchanged a look as Amber laughed bitterly. "Never mind. You don't get it and I'm not going to explain it to you." She crossed her arms over her chest and turned to Joey. "I'll meet you back at the hotel. I don't want to be here anymore."

Casey's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. "Wait a minute. You...and Joey...? That's why you were at the hotel earlier?"

Amber rolled her eyes viciously. "Yeah, Casey. Me and Joey. And I don't give a damn what you have to say about it."

"Come on, Amber," Joey began, grabbing her arm. "You should--"

"What the entire hell, Amber?" Casey threw up her hands in exasperation. "You're angry with me because I didn't tell you about JC--yet--and you're...doing whatever it is you're doing with Joey and I know nothing about it. But I'm the hypocrite?"

"You don't get it, Casey." Amber's eyes were cloudy as she shook her head sadly. "But you're right; here isn't the place to talk about it and now isn't the time." She looked at Joey again. "I'll see you later." With that, she turned and walked away.

"Sorry," he mumbled, shrugging in discomfort before following off after Amber.

"What...just happened?" JC said, turning to Casey after watching Amber and Joey leave.

She rolled her eyes. "Fuck if I know. But I need a drink."

***

JC stood back and watched Casey. She was maybe drinking a little too much; by his count this was tequila number three, and she'd all but slammed back two rum and colas before that. And he thought he'd seen her do at least a couple of jello shots when the waitress walked by with a tray. To the casual observer, she looked like a young woman enjoying herself. But he was observing her more than casually.

Beyond the little bit that he'd heard, he still had no clue what exactly had happened with Amber. But she was fine, so she said; she was always fine, so he'd noticed.

"Body shots!" she yelled suddenly.

JC shook his head slightly and headed over to her. "I think body shots aren't such a good idea tonight, Case," he said, taking her upraised arm with a smile.

"Yeah, I think it's time to get her back to the hotel," Lance laughed.

"And I think...I need...another shot," Casey managed with much effort.

JC slipped his arm around her waist. "I think you've had enough," he snickered. He looked slightly behind her and nodded as he caught Eric's eye.

"Awww," she pouted, leaning heavily into JC's arm. "You're no fun, JC."

"And you're drunk, Casey."

She huffed for a moment before brightening. "Holy shit!" she exclaimed.

JC looked down at her quickly. "What's wrong?"

"Our names...totally rhyme!" She looked at him wide-eyed, blinking slowly.

JC snorted. "Yeah, definitely time to get you to bed.

She was still leaning on him heavily as staying upright was clearly a feat, and still laughing over rhyming names. "Tequila makes me horny. So if you wanna get some tonight I'm totally a sure thing." It was intended as a whisper, but in her inebriated state she was nowhere near quiet.

JC blushed and Eric stepped in grabbed her. "All right, Case, let's go." The big man all but carried her out.

***

"Come on, ‘C" Casey wiggled suggestively in his lap. "You know you want it just as much as I do." She giggled as she felt his physical response to her movement. "Told ya."

He cracked a smile and rubbed his hands up and down her back, leaning his head back as she kissed his neck.

"Hmmm, maybe. But you're drunk." He gently pulled her hands from around him.

Casey frowned. "I'm not...that drunk, JC," she said sharply.

"Tell you what, I'm going to go hop in the shower and if you're still 'not that drunk' when I get out, I'm all yours." He kissed her quickly on the forehead.

She sighed and slid off his lap. "Fine. I'll be waiting."

Yeah, right. He smiled as he made his way into the bathroom. He was willing to put money on Casey being asleep by the time he got back to the room. And he wouldn't blame her. Under the best of circumstances, the day had been long and tiring. Add into a surprise visit from her ex-boyfriend and a fight with her best friend not to mention all of the liquor she'd consumed, and she had to be beyond exhausted.

JC peeled his clothes off, turned on the shower and adjusted the temperature until it was just shy of scalding. After stepping inside the steam-filled stall, he closed his eyes and placed his hands on the wall, letting the water run from the top of his head and down his back and shoulders. The water eased his muscles and his mind wandered.

Tony had shown up at her signing and that was unbelievable. After everything happened, JC was amazed that the guy would have the balls to show his face anywhere near her. And that line of thought led him to the next logical thing: what the hell had happened in that hotel room? Other than insisting that it wasn't that bad, she refused to discuss it. She did that a lot, he was noticing. When things good to uncomfortable, she shut down...or distracted herself. And that, he knew without a shadow of a doubt, was exactly what the blow job had been about.

He grabbed the bar of soap and began lathering up, still deep in thought. Their talk was good, earlier. Everything he'd said was true; he liked her and while the circumstances of traveling across the country kept them together, it made perfect sense to just...enjoy it. He'd told her to stop worrying and let things happen. But as much as he liked her, and as much as he thought she liked him too, maybe he was just another distraction.

Casey's...she's not as together as she likes everyone to think she is. But maybe she doesn't have it as much together as you think she does. Justin's and Lance's words looped in his head. Being with Casey was proving to be complicated. Maybe too complicated. Especially for a guy who didn't, under ordinary circumstances, do complicated.

He rinsed off and shampooed his hair. He wasn't ready, or willing, to cut things off with her. Of that much he was positive. And that worried him because he was also positive that the feelings he had for her were moving from like into something...also complicated. And maybe it would be a good thing to take his own advice, and let things play out. But there was that small voice from earlier, whispering again, that maybe she'd hurt him. And the sudden realization that she even had the power to do that...well, that was terrifying.

After getting all of the shampoo out of his hair, JC turned off the shower.

***

The shower stopped and Casey turned over onto her stomach, sliding one hand under the pillow. The roaring in her head had diminished to a dull ache, but she was thirsty. She also didn't feel like getting out the bed. She'd stripped out of everything but her panties and was feeling quite cozy beneath the heavy covers of the hotel bed.

The concert, her first at a major arena at home, had gone spectacularly well and she was looking forward to tomorrow's. It had been wonderful spending most of the day with her mother and brother, and seeing extended family and old friends come to support her; she was trying to focus on all of the good. But the rest of the day... Between Tony showing up in the afternoon and the ridiculous fight with Amber, she was exhausted.

The door to the bathroom opened, casting a wedge of golden light over the bed. She turned over to see JC. He stood over the threshold between the bathroom and the door, hair damp and messy. Wearing a pair of slate colored boxer briefs and nothing else, he grinned at her. He was beautiful.

"You're awake." He turned off the bathroom light and climbed into bed next to her. "I didn't think you would be."

She chuckled. "Yeah, well, if you'd taken anymore time in there I wouldn't have been. But I'm thirsty and I may as well brush my teeth while I'm up." She pushed the blankets down and eased herself into a sitting position and for a moment, the room swam before her eyes and she swayed.

"I think I had too much to drink tonight," she whispered with a groan.

JC snorted. "You think?"

She massaged her temple for a moment, hunched over. The bed shifted beside her and then she felt JC warm against her back, leaning close to her.

"You OK? I'll get the water. Do you want some crackers or something?"

She reached up and touched the hand that he lay gently on her shoulder. "You're sweet. Especially considering how obnoxious I was." She grimaced, remembering the last thing she'd said before Eric practically carried her out of the club. "But I'm good. My stomach's fine; my vision's just a little...blurry." She stood up slowly and very carefully stepped her way into the bathroom.

With the door closed behind her in the room, she couldn't help but frown at her own reflection in the mirror. Her makeup wasn't terrible, other than her mascara having smeared a little bit. But her eyes were bloodshot and tired, and her hair was an untameable, frizzy mess. She grabbed her face wash from the toiletry bag on the counter and scrubbed her face. Her face was now clean, but her eyes still looked the same. She fleetingly wondered if Eloise would have anything for that tomorrow. Once her teeth were brushed she wet her hands again and smoothed water through her hair, not enough to saturate it, but just enough to make it easier to pull up into a bun. She'd deal with the detangling process tomorrow after a shower.

She exited the bathroom to find JC under the covers with the overhead light already off, and a bottle of water on the bedside table. After taking a few swigs, she slid in next to him and he immediately moved closer to her and wrapped an arm around her midsection. They'd fallen into a very particular sleeping pattern and she liked it.

"Thank you for the water," she said softly. "Hey, you said you were all mine if I was still awake when you got out of the shower. Did you forget that?"

"Mmm," he murmured. "I remember. But you're gonna have to work for it because I'm already like, eighty-three percent asleep."

She smiled but didn't reply. A few moments of silence went by before she spoke again. "JC?" Casey's voice cut through the darkness tentatively. "Are you awake?"

His reply was in the form of an indistinct grunt. Casey squeezed his hand, which was against her stomach. "C." When he didn't reply she tried again. "Jaaay-seeee..." she sing-songed. "I know you're not asleep yet."

"Then why'd you ask?" he dead-panned, scooting one of his legs further between her two.

"I was kind of wondering something," she began, ignoring his sarcasm. "Like, there's something I want to ask you, but I have to preface it by saying that you don't have to, OK? Like, I want you to and all, but if you don't want to, I will totally understand and--"

"Casey, normally I'm a fan of your midnight rambling--"

"It's after midnight and I don't ramble," she huffed. "Usually."

He wrapped his arm tighter around her and buried his face in the crook of her neck. "Fine. After midnight jaunts into philosophical--"

"JC," she whined.

"Get to the point, babe. I'm about to pass out on you."

"What are you doing tomorrow? I mean before the show? Do you have, like, press stuff?"

"I have," he began, yawning loudly, "nothing before the show. And I plan on enjoying it by sleeping. For as long as humanly possibly."

"JC," she whined, "don't be boring."

"You know just how boring I'm not," he muttered under his breath.

"I just...would you want to have brunch with me and my family tomorrow? I mean, like I said before...you don't have to if you don't want to. And if it's too weird, or too soon, or too whatever, like, I totally get it. But my mom asked tonight and then I figured that--"

"Casey!" he cut in sharply.

She let out her breath in a whoosh and closed her eyes. "Yes?" she said in a small voice.

JC scooted down until his lips were right next to her ear. "I would absolutely love to come to brunch with you and your family tomorrow. But only if you absolutely shut up right now."

She relaxed against him and smiled in the dark. "Ok, cool."

"Just...don't make it too early, OK?"

She grinned and closed her eyes. "I have a radio thing, so after that."

He nuzzled down until his nose was right up against the back her neck, where he planted a kiss. "Goodnight, Casey."

"‘Night, JC."

Casey slipped her key into the lock and yawned as it flashed green. Dragging her feet, she pushed the door open. She heard nothing from inside and tiptoed into the bedroom. JC was true to his word; when her six am wake up call came he didn't even stir. Now, with the radio interview done, it was after nine in the morning and he was still blissfully passed out. He was on his stomach, arms tucked securely beneath the pillow. She smiled in his direction, briefly considering crawling back underneath the covers with him. She was exhausted; the emotional weight of the previous evening, combined with the amount of alcohol she'd consumed had taken its toll. With another yawn, she tossed her baseball cap to the floor and stripped off her clothes before heading into the bathroom.

***

JC turned over onto his side, swinging his arm out, and came into contact with nothing. He groaned and eased one eye open to see the other side of the bed empty. "Case?" he croaked out, his voice thick with sleep.

"You're awake finally?"

He turned in the direction of the voice. She stood in the doorway of the bathroom, a thick white towel wrapped around her, hair dripping onto her shoulders and arms.

He raised his arms overhead and stretched out on his back and yawned, a smile--one he hoped was seductive--on his face, sleepy blue eyes sparkling mischievously. "Maybe."

She bit her lip, holding back a laugh, and walked over to the bed. She sat down on the edge closest to him and pushed the covers back. Staring at him with a smirk, she rubbed her hand up his chest. "Need some help? Waking up?"

He slid one of his hands up her thigh, underneath the towel barely covering it. His eyes brightened excitedly although his smile remained languid. "You could try, I guess."

She leaned over him and, with a grin, shook her hair in his face.  With a giggle, she jumped back as he tried to grab her. "Looks like you're awake now."

"You are so gonna get yours," JC said with a laugh, wiping his face and upper body of the water.

"Promises, promises." She stuck out her tongue at him

"Oh, it's a promise alright." He yawned again and sat up, rubbing his eyes. "What time are we meeting your parents?"

Casey glanced over at the clock. "They'll be at the restaurant downstairs in about forty-five minutes or so."

"OK." He nodded and picked his phone up off the nightstand next to the bed. "And what about Amber?"

Casey was already on her way back into the bathroom and she stopped in her tracks. Turning to face him, her expression was stony. "What about Amber?"

He shrugged. "Don't you need to...I don't know...deal with that?"

She shook her head. "She knows where I am. If she wants to talk, she'll find me."

JC didn't say anything, but he shook his head when he heard the blow dryer turn on. Casey was, he was realizing, nothing if not stubborn.

***

"Come on, Amber. Why don't you sit down?" Joey sighed and continued to watch as she paced back and forth. "You're gonna wear a hole in the carpet." He leaned back against the headboard and allowed his eyes to close for a moment when she didn't immediately respond.  He tried again. "You're making me dizzy."

She stopped pacing and turned her head toward him slowly, giving him a dirty look. But she stepped near the bed and sat down heavily onto it. "I don't think we're friends anymore, Joey," she sniffed. "I think it's over."

He crawled over to where she had collapsed and stretched out next to her. "Why would you say that?"

She sat and looked down at him, scowling. "Did you miss our fight last night?"

He nodded slowly. "To be fair you didn't exactly fight. You kind of lost it on her and she...well, she got angry back."

Amber rolled her eyes and he flashed her a smile, continuing. "Casey's a drama queen. I don't mean that in a bad way ‘cause I love her to death. She's a great girl. But you know it, I know it...hell, even Casey knows it. And last night...you kinda were one, too."

Amber inhaled sharply and crossed her arms over her chest indignantly. "I'm not a drama queen."

"Ordinarily," he said calmly, "maybe not. But you were pretty dramatic last night."

She wrinkled her nose and punched him in the arm.

"Ouch! What the hell was that for?" He sat up and rubbed his now sore arm.

Amber reclined back on the bed, completely ignoring him. "I can't believe she didn't tell me about JC." She huffed and then honed in on Joey again, eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Did you know?

Still rubbing his arm he made a face at her. "She didn't really have much of an opportunity to talk to you yesterday."

"You didn't answer my question."

He shrugged indifferently. "Yeah. I knew."

Her eyes widened. "Of course you knew! Because I bet everyone knew but me. And bullshit on her not having time to talk to me today. She could've picked up the phone at any point over the past few--"

"We're on tour together, Amber. I see the two of them everyday. And anyway, it's not like Casey told me. JC didn't either, for that matter, OK?"

"The fact remains," she began dismissively, "that I didn't know. And I should have."

Joey ran his fingers through his hair making it stick up every which way. "I don't think this really has anything to do with JC."

Amber pulled her hair out of the elastic holding it and rubbed her temples. "She doesn't tell me anything anymore. Whatever new thing happens with her, I have to hear it from someone else. I heard about what happened with Tony from her mom.  And she still won't really talk about it with me." She took a shaky breath.

"She's got her music and it's taking off for her and I'm happy. But I can't help but feel like I'm losing my best friend." She closed her eyes and sniffed.

Joey put an arm around her shoulder. "Why don't you talk to her? Tell her how you feel."

Amber nodded but said nothing.

***

"That's all you're eating?" Casey had just placed her order with the server and Elizabeth gave her a disdainful glare.

Casey frowned at her mother. "It's a huge fruit plate, bacon and a croissant, Mom. That's plenty."

"You're too thin as it is; don't you want an omelette or something else, too?"

JC covered a snicker as Casey smiled tightly. "Um," she glanced down at the menu then back up at the waiting server. "I'll have the Mediterranean omelette, too, please."

"Much better." Elizabeth nodded.  "So, JC," she began, after all of their orders were placed. "I enjoyed the show so much last night. This tour is a lot more exciting than the last one, huh?"

JC nodded with a smile. "Thanks. And yeah. We wanted to outdo ourselves so when we were in the planning process we tried to think of everything we could without being way too over the top, but still going above and beyond last time."

"Did Casey tell you about what happened when we went to see you last year?"

JC glanced at Casey and nudged her with his elbow. "No, Casey didn't tell me anything."

She blushed and took a big swig of her water. Paul and Matthew looked at each other and began laughing.

"Well," Elizabeth started. "The radio station was giving away meet and greet passes; you know where you have to call in and be the whatever number caller? Casey had been trying for days. And having everyone she knew try for her. But she never could get through. So she went to the radio station--"

"You know what," Casey interrupted. "it's a really boring story, JC."

He joined in with her family laughing. "No, doesn't sound boring to me at all. Please, continue, Mrs. Whitaker."

"Oh, hey, look, there's our server!" Casey pointed out as the young man came back with drinks.

"Saved by the orange juice," Paul laughed under his breath.

"Don't worry, JC; I'll finish telling you the story later." Elizabeth smirked at her daughter.

Casey shook her head. "Thanks, Mom."

"Hey, JC," Matthew spoke up suddenly. "Did Casey tell you that she has posters of you up on her wall?" he said, looking at JC. "Like six."

"Matty!" Casey all but shrieked. "I don't have six posters of him on my wall," she grumbled under her breath.

Casey's parents continued to laugh and JC looked over at her with a sly smile. "Nope. Casey didn't tell me that either." He leaned closer and whispered in her ear. "You'll have to tell me more about that later."

She closed her eyes as her cheeks burned. "I'm pleading the fifth." She looked from her mother to her father and then to her brother. "What is this? Let's completely embarrass Casey at brunch day?"

"Ok, sweetie, we'll stop," her mom said, still laughing. "So where's Amber, honey? She was perfectly welcome to join us; she knows that, right?"

"Oh, um..." Casey stammered trying to figure out what to say about the situation with Amber, without saying much at all. "I didn't actually talk to her this morning." She shrugged.

"Well, why don't you call her? Tell her to meet us down here," Mr. Whitaker put it.

She sighed heavily and twisted at her ring, looking down at the table. "We, um, aren't  talking right now, I don't think," she said finally.

Mrs. Whitaker's eyebrows knit together in confusion. "Since when? You were talking yesterday. What happened?"

Casey massaged her temple and JC gave her a sympathetic look. She loved her parents and appreciated that they were concerned about her and cared about her. And she loved that it always extended into her relationships with her friends.

Amber had been a permanent fixture in Casey's life, and the Whitaker home, since eighth grade. She was almost as close to Casey's family as she was to her own. With brothers and sisters that were significantly older and had long been out of the house, Amber kind of felt like Casey and Matt were her adopted siblings. And with her parents' work schedule, and frequent traveling, she often found herself in the care of the Whitakers' at times, even when Casey wasn't around.

She was more than a friend, she was family. She was thankful that her parents cared, about her and about Amber. But she didn't want them to get into the middle of this fight. She rubbed at her temple furiously. Why, she wondered, was she so anxious to come home again? Of course spending time with her family was lovely. And seeing old friends was always wonderful. But it had been almost non-stop stress and anxiety and one issue after another and oh lord when would it just stop? Why did it have to be so damn complicated?

"We had an argument last night and she left the club," Casey answered finally.  "I actually haven't talked to her since so, yeah. I don't know." She threw her hands up in exasperation.

Before Elizabeth could do more than open her mouth to respond, the server came back with a huge tray of food. He set everything down on a serving stand and set to work putting plates in front of everyone. Once he had walked away, she cleared her throat.

"Well, have you called her? This morning I mean? Or gone to her room?"

Casey pushed her food around her plate and shook her head. "No."

"Well, Honey, don't you think--" Elizabeth started.

"Mom," Casey cut in, sharply. "She's mad at me, OK? And to be perfectly blunt, I don't care right now. I've got a lot of sh...stuff on my plate and I don't have the time or inclination to deal with Amber throwing a hissy fit because she thinks I'm keeping things from her." She added under her breath, "Especially not when she's keeping things from me."

"Casey, Amber is one of your oldest friends. And whatever happened you--"

"Mom." Casey looked up at her mother and shook her head. "Just let me deal with this, OK? My way. On my time."

***

Amber stared straight ahead. "I met Casey in fifth grade, when I moved from the other side of town. I was so shy back then and she was the first person who talked to me. She just came up to me at lunch my first day and was like, ‘Come sit with me and my best friend.'

"I thought she was so cool. Even then she was so comfortable in her own skin. She's always been that way. " She sighed. "You see it, don't you? The way people notice her when she's in a room. And they want to be around her. She's special, and I guess being close to her made me feel special too."

She rubbed her hands over her face in frustration. "But she has this life that's so far removed from me now, Joey. And I'm jealous. Not because I don't want her to be successful, but because I want to be part of it the same way I used to be.

"Being on tour with her was different than I thought it would be. I thought we would hang out all the time between shows, and that we'd stay up late on the bus and it just...it wasn't like that. She was always doing something, and what little downtime she had..." She trailed off and laughed bitterly. "Well, Tony was around. And as much as I never liked him, I was jealous of him, too, because even he was part of her life in a way that I couldn't be."

Joey pulled one of her hands into his lap and gently rubbed his fingers back and forth across it. He was uncharacteristically quiet, gazing at her sympathetically.

She made a little sound of disgust. "And now it's JC. He's another person in her inner circle. And like you said, you guys see each other every single day. You're doing all of this together. And he gets it. Her life, I mean. More than I can. More than I ever will." Amber shook her head sadly. "

"You need to talk to her," he said quietly. "To tell her all of this."

Amber nodded slowly. "I guess. She probably doesn't have time today. You guys are heading out right after the show, right?"

"Yeah," he said quietly. "So call her now."

Amber looked at him and blinked slowly. "Ok."

***

The rest of brunch continued pleasantly enough, once the subject of Amber was dropped. It was fascinating, JC thought, watching Casey interact with her family. It was always interesting to see what people's families were like, and what they were like with their families. She was obviously very close to both her mother and father. She not only loved them, but quite clearly she liked and respected them. And the feeling was mutual.

Despite the ten-year age gap between her and Matt, it was obvious to JC that Casey was extremely close to her little brother. They teased each other, but gently and in a good-natured sort of way. There was genuine love and affection there, and it was something he related to in terms of the relationships he had with his own siblings. They had inside jokes, and sometimes interrupted each other, finishing each other's sentences. He liked watching her that way; her smile was easy, her laughter quick. She was lighter than she had been in days, with her family gathered around her. Even the smiles she turned on him, during the course of the conversation, were brighter.

It was different for her than it was for him, he realized as he watched her. He was on tour with his four best friends. Four friends that, over the course of the years that they'd been together, had become his brothers. Though he missed his immediate family when he was on the road, the other four members of his band had become his extended family. He knew Casey was friends with her dancers, but it was different. Although they were out there on stage with her, performing night after night, they weren't part of most of the day-to-day offstage madness. In a real sense, her dancers worked for her. He shared the load of being a successful musician with four of his favorite people--the stress and the strain, the success and the joy. Casey was alone. Her music, her performance, her very career was, in a very real sense, riding solely on her shoulders.  

He thought back to her first few months on the tour wistfully. He regretted how distant, and worse dismissive, he'd been of her.

"Hey." Casey leaned into him suddenly, interrupting his thoughts. "Everything OK?"

JC smiled sheepishly when he realized that the conversation had changed during his wool-gathering. He patted her leg under the table and turned his attention back to her family. "Everything's great, Case."

***

"So you have six posters of me on your wall, huh?" JC asked with a cheeky grin.

They were back in their hotel room, having said their goodbyes to Casey's parents and brother down in the restaurant.

Her cheeks flushed and she looked down at her lap. "Matty is mistaken. You know how kids are."

"Mmmhmm." He pushed her back and crawled over her. "So you don't have multiple posters of me on your wall?"

"I'm pretty sure," she said, tilting her head back so that he could kiss her neck, "that I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You're a liar," he whispered, letting his teeth graze her skin gently.

Eyes closed, Casey giggled and brought her hands to his hair. He let his tongue trace the path that his teeth had made before pulling back slightly to look down at her. She was calm, relaxed. Completely at ease. Everything she hadn't been twenty-four hours before.

When he stopped, she opened her eyes and gave him a half-smile. "You look so serious. What are you thinking about?"

He continued to stare at her, unblinking, for another few seconds before briefly brushing his lips against hers. "I'm sorry."

Her forehead creased in confusion when he pulled away again. "For what?"

"Just, you know...before." He shrugged diffidently before sliding off the bed. "Hold on a sec."

Casey watched him leave the room, perplexed. She sat up and scooted back to lean against the pillows that were propped against the headboard. She could hear him rummaging around in the other room. "Everything OK, ‘C?" she called.

His reply was a muted grunt and she snickered.

He re-entered the room sixty seconds later and tossed something hard and plastic at her feet. "Found it." He stood at the foot of the bed, arms crossed over his chest, wearing a satisfied smile.

She picked up the CD case and looked back up at him, an amused smirk on her face. "It's mine."

He nodded. "Yeah."

"You have my album?" The smirk had turned into a full fledged smile.

"Of course I do. It's one of my favorites." He looked at her and smiled that smile that was quickly becoming her favorite. The one where his eyes crinkled up almost so much she couldn't even see how beautifully blue they were.

She turned it over in her hands and looked at him furtively. "What's your favorite song?"

"From your album?"

"Yeah. And it can't be one I perform in concert."

He chuckled. "But what if my favorite song is one you perform in concert?"

She shook her head. "Nope. Since you say it's one of your favorites, you have to tell me what song you like that's not one I perform. So not one of my singles, and nothing you hear night after night."

"Hmmm," JC hummed, tilting his head to the side. He scrambled up toward where she was sitting and scooted next to her. With a small smile, he leaned in close to her and began singing the lyrics of a particular ballad in her ear.  

When he finished, he placed a kiss on her cheek and leaned his head back against the headboard.

Her smile grew and she nudged him with her shoulder. "Why that one?"

He stared straight ahead for a moment before inclining his head down toward her. "Because it's just you, a couple instruments, and very little production. The lyrics and the way you sing it makes me feel like...I don't know. Like it's the real you."

Casey leaned her head on his shoulder, saying nothing.

"Can you autograph it for me?"

She grinned. "Sure."

***

Amber sat on the bed wrapped in one towel and using another to dry her hair. She stared absently in front of her. The curtains were open and the view of the city was beautiful, but she wasn't seeing any of it.

She remembered little things like walking through the mall together, and then, when she had gotten her license first, driving places together. School dances, sharing secrets about the boys they liked. It first began to change with Nik. They'd been casual friends, Casey and Nik, for years. But freshman year, Casey noticed him in a different way, and he apparently noticed her, too.

"So are we going to the homecoming dance or what?" Amber stares at her reflection in the mirror, re-applying icy pink lipgloss.

"Um," Casey averts her eyes and rummages through her purse. "Nik actually asked me to go. With him. Like, on a date." She feels Amber's gaze on her but she doesn't look up yet.

"And you said yes?" Amber says in a small yet somehow accusatory voice.

"Well...yeah," Casey says quietly.

"But I thought we said we would go together. We planned that. Over the summer."

She stops her pointless search through her small bag and finally meets her friends eyes. "I know what we said, Amber, but Nik asked me. And I like him. And I want to go with him. And when we talked about it over the summer I didn't know that he, you know, liked me, too." She shrugs helplessly. "His mom is gonna drop us off and my mom is gonna pick us up. We like, planned it and stuff. Already."

Amber is hurt. Casey almost physically feels the emotion pouring off of her in waves. And she feels bad of course. Because they did talk about it. And they did plan it. But the simple fact is, there were no boys in the picture when they talked and planned. And now there's Nik. And that's unexpected because, whoa, she's known him since she was a kid. But Nik is...well, he's a lot taller now. And he isn't so skinny anymore. And he has great dimples and, thanks to a great orthodontist, a perfect smile. And he's funny. And he always smells good. And he's one of a few freshman who've made it onto the junior varsity football team, instead of the freshman one. And he's on the freshman homecoming court. And it would be really, really awesome to go to her very first dance, as a high schooler, with him.

"You should still totally come though!" Casey says enthusiastically.

Amber shakes her head in annoyance. "Right. So I can be the third wheel." She shoves her lipgloss into her purse and zips it roughly. "No thanks, Casey." She's rushing out of the bathroom now.

"Well." Casey runs to catch up with her. "Why don't you ask someone to homecoming? Maybe now's the time to tell Mark Cooper you think he's cute."

Amber whirls on her friend, wondering how their friendship has lasted this long with Casey being so oblivious. Sometimes she just doesn't get it. And everything is not about her, even though she always seems to think it is. And this, this right here may just be unforgivable. Because instead of going to their first high school dance together, like they promised they would do, she's ditching her best friend for a stupid boy. Amber narrows her eyes.  

"You just don't get it, Casey!" she says furiously. "Never mind. I don't want to go to the stupid dance anyway." She stalks off down the hall toward her math class, leaving Casey standing there dumbfounded.

They didn't talk for two weeks, Amber remembered. In true Casey fashion, when Amber had left her standing there, she left it all alone. The fight, and Amber in her anger. She didn't call her, or try to sit with her at lunch, or anything. Lunch was the only period they shared as they had no classes in common, and even then she let Amber avoid her. She went and sat with other people and by all appearances, was completely fine with the fact that they were fighting. They passed each other in the hall a few times at first, before Amber made it a point to change which hallways and staircases she took to get to and from classes and her locker. And Casey, usually in a group with other people, often including Nik close at hand, would look at her the same way every time, with a mild expression holding something akin to pity. And every time Amber would pretend not to see her, turn her nose up and continue walking.

Except, Amber laughed bitterly, they were never really fighting. She was angry, and Casey let her be. Because that was Casey's way; if it was unpleasant or unsettling, or threatened to disrupt the bubble of everything good and happy and going her way that she existed in, she didn't deal with it. So when they spoke later, it was because Amber missed her and called. And Casey answered and talked to her like nothing had happened and no time had passed. And that was fine and good and comfortable. But Amber always wondered, quietly and to herself, what would've happened if she had never called?

***

Casey made a face and tapped something into her phone. She sighed, loudly, and groaned before tossing the phone across the bed.

"What's wrong?" JC called from the other room.

"Amber wants to talk," she said shortly.

He came into the bedroom and looked at her. "That's a good thing, right?"

She shrugged defiantly. "I don't know. If it's not this, it'll be something else. "

He leaned against the door jamb. "You gonna go?"

She sighed deeply and looked at the clock. "I guess."

***

"Hey," Casey said when Amber swung the door open. She stepped across the threshold and looked around the room, everywhere in fact, but directly at her friend.

"Hey," Amber replied tepidly. 

Casey slowly came into the room.

"You can sit down." Amber pointed at the couch, and took a seat in the chair at the desk.

Casey sat and inhaled deeply. "Can we just do this? Whatever this is. Let's get it all out once and for all."

Amber pursed her lips. "As far as I'm concerned there's nothing to get out. You're the one who's hiding shit."

Casey's eyes widened in surprise. "Hiding shit? Because I wanted to tell you about JC in person? Which is what I fully planned to do until you flipped your shit on me for no good reason. And speaking of," she made air quotes with her fingers, "hiding shit, what about Joey? You're doing whatever with him and you haven't said a damn thing to me about it."

"It's not doing. Did. I did something with Joey. Twice. Unlike the ongoing thing you have with JC that you didn't tell me about." Amber snorted. "I bet Jada knows, doesn't she?"

Casey stared at her for a few moments, breathing slowly. "Jada doesn't have anything to do with this," she said finally.  

"I'll take that as a yes."

Casey dropped her head to her hand and massaged the bridge of her nose. "Why are you really pissed at me at, Amber?"

"You don't get it, Casey." Amber laughed humorlessly. "I guess it must be hard for you. Now that you're Miss Famous Rock Star or whatever. Now that all your friends are the other super important people, I guess the rest of us don't count anymore."

Casey recoiled as if she'd been physically struck.

Amber saw her friend's reaction, the way her eyes clouded over in an emotion she recognized as hurt. She knew she had gone too far with the last comment, and even more, that it wasn't true, but she was also hurt. And in that moment, she didn't care how Casey felt.

Casey stared open mouthed for several silent moments which, to Amber's mind, was testament to how taken aback she was; Casey was not the kind of person to ever be at a loss for words.

"That's what you think?" she said finally, her voice a barely audible whisper.

Amber stared back at her, the set of her jaw obstinate. "I don't know what to think, Casey. I talk to you for ten minutes once every three weeks.

Casey swiped at her eyes furiously and Amber realized with dismay and regret that she was crying.

"I didn't tell you about JC right away because of how everything started. It reminded me too much of Tony. And after what happened with him..." She wiped at her eyes again.

"You still haven't told me what happened with him," Amber pointed out quietly.

"What happened with Tony is...something I don't want to rehash. And not telling you about JC doesn't have anything to do with thinking I'm important or...." Casey blew out a shaky breath and shook her head. "I'm going to go, Amber. I'm sorry you feel that way."

"Casey, wait!" Amber called as Casey reached the door in a couple of strides. She pulled at her arm. "Please don't go. I'm sorry."

Casey pulled her arm away and shook her head. "I can't do this now."

"Case, please. I didn't mean it." Amber stood in front of her, clasping and unclasping her hands nervously.

Casey smiled sadly. "Yeah. You did." She pulled open the door and was gone.

***

"How'd it go?" JC asked.

Casey barely looked at him as she strode across the room. "Fine."

He followed her into the bedroom and watched as she flew through the room picking things up and slamming them into her travel bag. When he took hold of her shoulders she stopped and stared down at the floor.

"Casey, don't do that." He lifted her chin so she would look at him. "If you don't want to talk about it, say that. But you don't have to lie. Not to me."

When she said nothing, he pulled her into a hug. For a moment she didn't respond, only stood with her hands at her sides. As the seconds ticked by, she relaxed into him and her arms found their way around him.

"Do you know why she was on tour with me?" she asked quietly. "For those couple of weeks when I first came out with you guys?"

"No," he mumbled against her head.

"We've been drifting for awhile and I thought if she could come and see what things were like, she would get it. You know?" She sighed.

"People see a magazine cover, or an album insert and the picture is perfect, you know? And they think all of this is so glamorous. They don't see the part where you got to the photoshoot at five o'clock in the morning, so you could sit in hair and makeup for two or three hours, and the couple of hours after that where the stylist is choosing the perfect outfits. And the hours after that of shooting and holding poses just right, and making the perfect expression. Not to mention the waiting around.

"There's the fact that you only got five or so hours of sleep the night before because of the show, and the press before that, or all of the time on the road away from all of the people you love and just..." She exhaled and shook her head.

"And I'm not complaining, JC. I absolutely love my life. But it's work. And it's sacrifice. You know that. And I just thought that if she saw that, if she actually got a chance to witness up close and personal what it's really like on a day to day basis, maybe she wouldn't be so touchy about things."

"What's she touchy about?" JC rubbed his hands up and down her back.

"Everything. Like the fact that I didn't call her when I said I would. Or that when I call her, I never stay on the phone long enough. The fact that I don't always tell her everything first." Still leaning against him, she covered her face with her hands. "She thinks I've let all of this go to my head. Fame or whatever. She thinks I've changed and I haven't."

"I know," he said gently. "And I bet she knows, too. She was just saying stuff because she's upset."

"She asked if Jada knew about you and me already. Amber's one of my best friends, but I've known Jada for practically my whole life and our friendship is...it's different. Amber's always been jealous of that, too." She groaned in frustration and leaned against him again.

"You didn't tell me you told Jada about us." JC knew that Jada was Casey's oldest friend, but he hadn't been aware that she'd told her about the two of them.

She glanced up at him sheepishly. "Is that OK?"

He snickered and pulled her tighter. "Of course it's OK. I just thought I was your dirty little secret."

She held his gaze for a moment. His expression was benign, but she wasn't completely sure if he was joking. "I don't feel that way about you, JC," she said finally.

He kissed the top of her head. "Maybe not now. Since you introduced me to your folks and all."

"Hmm." Casey inhaled deeply and closed her eyes against him. "Anyway, I don't want to talk about Amber anymore. How long before we have to go?"

He turned slightly to look at the clock on the nightstand. "A couple hours at least."

"I need a nap." She slid her arms from around him and took one of his hands in hers.

"You are a woman after my own heart." He laughed and let her pull him toward the bed.

They situated themselves on top of the bedcovers and Casey immediately closed her eyes. "My mom knows we're sleeping together."

JC sat up, sputtering. "You told her?" he demanded, eyes wide.

"Of course not," she said mildly, eyes still closed. "After you left the room last night she said it was obvious." She tugged on his arm. "Lay back down."

He did, with a groan. "So she knew? When I sat across from her at brunch today, she knew?"

Casey chuckled but didn't answer.

"That's really awkward, Case." He sighed and turned back over so the front of his body was pressed against her back. "Do you think she told your dad?"

"Probably."

JC made a face and mumbled something indistinct under his breath.  

She yawned. "I really like you a lot, JC," she said, her voice taking on a drowsy quality.

He kissed the back of her neck. "I really like you, too, Casey."

She pulled his arm back around her midsection. "I just want you to know," she said in the same sleepy way, "that I'm not having sex with anyone else."

He snorted. "I see you literally every day; that's kind of obvious."

"Well, yeah. But I also don't want to have sex with anyone else."

He nestled his face against the back of her neck. "Is that your way of telling me you want me to be your boyfriend, Casey?"

"I just want you to know where I am with...everything."

"Well," he began slowly, "I don't want to have sex with anyone else, either."

"Cool." She stretched back against him and pulled his arm tighter.

"And I want to be your boyfriend." He spoke quietly, and waited for her to respond.

After a couple of seconds she turned over to look him in the eye. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." He kissed her.

She grinned at him, biting her bottom lip. "Cool."

Casey turned back over, smile still huge on her face, and closed her eyes again.

JC was behind Casey, with her sitting between his open legs on the bed. Most of their clothing had long since been discarded; she wore panties and he was in a pair of boxer-briefs. He held her tightly to him, his hands holding her breasts. Their eyes were focused on the action on the television in front of them. The lights in the hotel room were off and the flickering of the screen created shapes on shadows on their skin.

She almost couldn’t concentrate what with the way his lips roamed her bare shoulder. Her skin was fire and his mouth was a heat-seeking missile. Her eyes slipped closed, head tilting to the side, as his teeth and tongue grazed her earlobe.

Casey-onscreen moaned loud and long, and Casey-on-the-bed grimaced covering her face with her hands. “OK, we have to turn this off, JC.”

His eyes dropped away from the screen to her. He grinned lasciviously and whispered in her ear. “This is my favorite part.” His lips barely grazed her neck before his attention floated back to the screen.

They had recorded themselves finally, after a lot of hemming and hawing exclusively on Casey’s part. JC was nonchalant when, a week prior in a Cincinnati hotel room, he stopped in the middle of a rather heavy makeout session and showed her the brand new camera and tripod. Her eyes widened almost comically as she watched him set it up in a spot that captured every inch of the hotel room bed.

“Just do whatever comes naturally,” he says, grabbing her waist and pulling her up against his body.

He’s grinding his erection into her and, as good as it feels right where she wants him most, Casey’s eyes glance back at the camera.

He puts one hand against the back of her neck and brings her in for a sultry kiss. His tongue is sliding against hers, and then he’s sucking on her bottom lip ever so gently.

She’s moaning and moving against him almost involuntarily.

“Don’t think about the camera, Mama. Don’t even look at it," he whispers.

She stopped thinking about the camera, all right; he and that marvelous tongue of his had made sure of that. And via the action onscreen, she was currently reliving it.

“Having sex while watching ourselves have sex is pretty kinky, JC.”

“We’re not actually having sex yet,” he murmured, eyes still trained on the screen. “But we should fix that.” His mouth, warm and wet, returned to her neck even as his fingers made steady work of rolling and gently pulling her nipples to stiff peaks.

Casey's head fell back against his shoulder; she felt the length of him behind her, the heat of him searing her skin, and an anticipatory surge of wetness between her legs followed. She looked back up at the TV to see that, as far as what was going on onscreen, they were most definitely having sex.

He had gone down on her first, his tongue making velvety strokes over her until she was writhing beneath him and begging him to make her come. And with the addition of two fingers, he had. Until she was gasping for breath, heart racing, vision blurry, toes curled, fingers gripping the sheets beneath her. Before she could properly recuperate from her first climax, he lifted one of her legs over his shoulder and with deliciously deliberate and deep strokes brought her to another one. Her body quivered with the memory.

It was almost lewd, watching herself with him that way, but she couldn’t deny that it was also gratifying, and the more she watched the way their bodies moved together, the more she listened to their sometimes frantic moans and groans of pleasure, the more turned on she was.

Onscreen her whimpers were louder and he was encouraging her to come. Again. Behind her, JC released one of her breasts and slowly walked his fingers down her body. She shivered when he reached the band of her panties and, with no hesitation, slid his fingers down to her heat. She opened her legs more, giving him room, and pushed back against him.  

“Are you watching?” His voice, slightly lower in register than normal, clearly expressed his arousal.  

She trembled against him as goosebumps broke out on her skin. “Mmmhmm.” And she was, with an increasing longing between her legs.

When his finger traced her softly, intimately, she moaned in almost perfect unison with her onscreen counterpart and her eyes closed.

“Keep watching, Mama,” he crooned against her ear.   

Her breathing hitched as he increased the pressure, rubbing firm circles against her. He nipped at her ear and slipped one finger inside her. She gripped his thighs with her hands and rolled her hips against his fingers.

“You’re not watching, Baby.” He moved his finger slowly in and out of her.

Her heart beat faster even as her breathing quickened. Desire coursed through her as her body responded to his touch. She was no longer watching, but she could tell by the sound of her onscreen cries that he’d brought her over the edge again.

“J...C…” With an effort, she opened her eyes. “JC...stop.”

He kissed her neck and did as she asked. “Why?”

“Because…” She panted, heart racing.

His lips moved against her shoulder and neck, insistent and intense, as his fingers crawled back up her body. "Because why?"

Casey pushed away from him and turned around on her knees. Watching him with a small smile, she took off her drenched panties before grabbing the waist of his underwear and dragging them down his body.

He stretched out his legs and lifted his hips to help her. Grabbing her waist, he pulled her to straddle him. “Because why?” he repeated.

His skin tingled deliciously beneath her fingers traveling down his chest. His smile was languid as she leaned over him, touching the tip of his nose with hers. His hands rounded the curve of her hips and around to her butt, kneading the muscles there.

"Because I want to come with you inside me." She pulled his bottom lip between both of hers.

Her words set off shockwaves that traveled straight to his dick and he felt it twitch against him. JC's wound her hair around one hand and pulled her head down, opening his mouth against hers. “I love when you come with me inside you.”

Keeping their mouths connected, she reached between them, taking hold of him.

He groaned as her fingers closed around him. “Mmm, Casey.”

Seeming to move of their own accord, his hips lifted upward toward her. His stomach fluttered as she kissed down his chin and neck, still caressing him lightly. Lips, tongue, and teeth grazed down his naked torso and back up to his chest and he shivered.  

JC's eyes closed as he ran his hands across whatever part of her skin he could touch. He loved how soft and smooth she was beneath his wandering fingertips.

"You like that, Baby?" she whispered and he groaned inarticulate encouragement in reply.

"Look at me, JC," she said, repeating the words he usually spoke to her.

Stormy blue eyes locked on brown ones, an appreciative smile on his parted lips.

Hands on his chest, looking him in the eye while positioning him against her, Casey

lowered herself on to his waiting erection.

“Fuck.” The word escaped his lips in a guttural exhalation. She was a boiling cauldron of lust and arousal, setting him on fire. "You feel so good, Baby."

“Mmm.” Casey moaned as she slid down the entire length of him.

As she slid back up with maddening slowness, he gripped her waist forcefully, but temporarily fought the urge to force her back down. This was her show, for now. And for now, he was content to watch--and feel--her work her hips for their mutual enjoyment. The slick, scorching feeling of her moving up and down on him made his mouth go dry. He watched, tongue snaking out to wet his lips, where their bodies connected over and over.

When she leaned over and brushed her lips against his, JC released her hips and held her head to his, increasing the pressure of their lips against each other, assaulting her tongue with his own.

She groaned into his mouth. “Mmm...coming.”

Taking that as his cue, he grabbed her butt and pulled her down against him as he thrusted up into her. He took her rising cries and whimpers as a green light and his hips became a fury of movement against hers.

He felt her muscles begin to tighten and contract rhythmically against him, holding him tight as she hurtled toward her release. The feeling of her squeezing him, still rocking against him, the sound of her moaning his name over and over, set him off, careening over the edge of ecstasy.

He was saying things, he was pretty sure, but what those things were, he had no idea. His entire world was exploding into billions of the most beautiful pieces. His ears pounded in time with his heartbeat and for a few moments, everything went dark.

“Wow.” The whisper of her voice on his neck brought him back.

With a deep breath of contentment he rubbed his hands up and down the clammy skin of her back. “Wow is...yeah. Wow.”

They lay there in the silence. The forgotten recording had ended and the mostly dark TV screen was only softly illuminating the room.

With a heaved sigh, Casey slid somewhat off of him. She kept one leg cocked up and over  his hips, her face pressed against his chest, her other arm tossed across his body.

"We should do that again sometime," she murmured.

Eyes closed, JC sighed. "Yeah."

For a few moments there was no sound but their quiet inhalations and exhalations and then Casey spoke again.

"What are you going to do with the tape?"

"Guard it with my life," JC mumbled against the top of her head. "And maybe whack off to it on the nights you're not in my bed." He jumped a little when her teeth nipped him in a particularly ticklish spot.

"If only your fans knew what a dirty, dirty boy you really are." She snickered and he kissed the top of her head with a chuckle.

In the nearly two weeks since Chicago, things between them had only seemed to be getting better. Casey, especially, was obviously more relaxed and comfortable with everything that was most definitely growing between them. And it felt good to allow things to happen without second guessing his feelings, or hers.

He wrapped his arm around her, palming her butt. Pulling her tight to him, he inhaled into her hair.

***

JC put the travel cap back on his toothbrush and tossed it into his open toiletry bag. After wiping his mouth on a nearby towel, he readjusted his baseball cap and checked his watch.

Dinner--McDonald's because Casey said she was craving a Quarter Pounder with cheese--went without incident. No one appeared to notice the young celebrity couple sitting at the back of the restaurant. They ate and talked in anonymity, mostly about new music they were both working on.

Once they had gotten back to the hotel, Justin called to see if they wanted to go to a movie with him and Joey.

"You about ready, Case?" JC asked as he came out of the bathroom. "We're gonna try to get there early.”

“I’m ready whenever,” she replied from the bed. She leaned over to tie her shoe when her phone chimed next to her.  She smiled, seeing Jada’s name, and flipped it open to read the incoming text message.

I’m in the library so I can’t call you but I’m emailing you something I think you should hear. Maybe by yourself. Or maybe not. I don’t know.

JC noticed the way her expression fell as she looked down at the device in her hand. “What’s wrong?” He came to stand in front of her.

“Um...I don’t know,” she mumbled. Her brow was furrowed, a frown on her face. She tapped a reply on her cellphone. That sounds ominous. JC’s here. Should I wait until he’s not?

Jada’s reply came through almost immediately. Wear headphones? I’ll call you as soon as I can!

Casey closed her phone, tossed it to the side, and got off the bed. She grabbed a bag from the closet and brought it over to the desk in the room. “Jada wants me to check my email,” she said, pulling her laptop from the bag.

"Now?"

She situated it on the desk, connected to the hotel’s ethernet and within a couple of minutes she was online and logged into her email account.

"It'll be quick. I think." She clicked the newest message and JC came to stood behind her.

To: JayDuh@aol.com

To: GClefDiva@aol.com

I debated on whether to send this to you or not but...I think you should hear. Tony's an asshole. Can you sue him for defamation? Or slander?

Below Jada's message was a link to an audio clip from a radio station in Detroit. Casey hesitated, hovering the cursor over the link without clicking.

JC squeezed her shoulder. "Maybe you shouldn't listen, Case. If it involves Tony, whatever it is, it isn't good."

She tapped her free hand on the desk and shrugged. "You're probably right. But if I don't listen I'm gonna go crazy wondering."

She clicked the link and an audio file opened in the browser. It took a minute or so to load and then a bit of crackly static could be heard through the speakers. After another few seconds someone started talking.

"So if you're just tuning in this afternoon, we're live in-studio with hip-hop producer and soon-to-be media mogul extraordinaire Tony Benson."

Casey's reply was a disgusted grunt. “Mogul, my ass,” she muttered.

"Before the break," the DJ continued, "he was talking to us about the local acts he's been working with and what he has coming up. And that's great, that's exciting, Man. But, uh...OK, I want to talk about one of your former acts."

"I think I know who you're talking about," another voice said.

JC grimaced, recognizing Tony's voice. "Casey, are you sure--" he began.

She shushed him and straightened in her chair.

"Yeah," the DJ continued. "I'm sure you do. Casey Whitaker." He whistled low. "She's blowing up, Man, and you kinda...you were with her in the early days, right?"

Tony laughed again. "Yeah, yeah. I produced a couple of her songs."

"Aww, Man, that's not all though, right? Because you were...you were doing more than just producing some songs for her, right?"

Tony snickered. "Yeah, well, you know. That came later."

JC stepped next to her, trying to decipher the expression on her face. Despite the distinct tightening in her jaw, her eyes were blank. She sat rigidly in her seat, fingers gripping the chair's armrests. But he couldn't tell if it was disgust, embarrassment, or flat out rage under the surface.

Both men chuckled and the DJ continued. "I saw her spread in last month's Vibe. She's beautiful, sexy. Real sexy. You musta...you're lucky, Man."

"Yeah, yeah. Casey was a lot of fun," Tony said with a sigh.

"Is she freaky?"

Tony snickered as the DJ continued.

"'Cause some of those songs she sings and...you know, some of her pictures lately. She looks like she could really be down for some stuff, if you know what I mean."

Tony's smooth laugh came through the speakers and JC wanted to punch him. "Oh, Man...you know, you know I don't really kiss and tell, OK? But I'll just say that whatever you're thinking, you're probably right."

JC reached over her and grabbed the mouse, closing out the window.

"JC!" Casey whipped around to face him.

He stared back at her defiantly. “It’s bullshit, Casey, and you don’t need to listen to it.”

"I want to listen to it." She pursed her lips and glared at him.

"Why? Tony's a scumbag; why would you listen to anything he has to say?"

When she only stared at him in response, her eyes cold, he shoved the mouse back in her direction.

"Fine, whatever." He blew out a breath and crossed his arms over his chest.

"You don't have to stay if it bothers you that much," she mumbled.

"'If' it bothers me?" JC's eyes widened incredulously. "Seriously, Case? It should bother you!" He threw his hands up in exasperation and walked over to the bed, where he collapsed heavily.

Without so much as glancing at him, Casey reopened the webpage and fast-forwarded to where she left off.

"I knew it!" the DJ exclaimed triumphantly. "So, she's on tour with *NSYNC now, which is...that's not a partnership I would've expected. You were there in the beginning, too. So what...can you tell us about that?"

They could hear Tony’s groan through the speakers. "Yeah, at the time of...when her label came to her about touring with those guys I guess they wanted to, you know, expose her to a wider audience."

"Which, I mean, I guess it's working for her," the DJ interjected. "She's all over radio, on magazines and everything."

"Yeah, well. I'm sure it helps that she..." Tony faded off with a chuckle.

"That she what? Man...OK, you all listening can't see but he's got this little smirk on his face. So what's up? What were you about to say?"

Tony snorted. "Well, like you said, I was on the tour as her musical director. And, you know, I had been there with her almost from the very beginning. So I've been helping her and she's been successful. But almost as soon as she started opening for them *NSYNC dudes, well...let's just say that in her case, opening act probably means more than just going out onstage before them."

"Damn!" the DJ whistled again. "You're saying she--"

"I'm saying she got real friendly with them, real quick. Especially the young one with the curly hair. Yeah, he...he thinks he's down so..."

"Down with a little chocolate, huh?” the DJ quipped.

“Yeah, something like that.”

“So you’re saying something's going on with the two of them?"

Tony sighed again. "All I'm saying is...I was there. And we were together, and then she's spending all this time with him and then she told me she thought we should just be friends, and then I was off the tour. So...you know. Two plus two usually equals four, right?"

The audio ended and for a couple of seconds, Casey stared off into space.

From his spot at the foot of the bed, JC watched her quietly, his hands clasped in front of his face. With a shake of his head he stood back up and approached her from behind.

"You OK?" He placed a hand on her shoulder and leaned in to whisper against her ear.

Casey patted his hand and rested her head against his. "Like you said, he's a scumbag." She shrugged and stood up. "I'm fine."

Before he could say anything else there was a knock at the door.

She smiled. "Time to go."

***

Casey, laying flat on her back, stared up into the darkness. She could barely pay attention at the movie, for thinking about the things that Tony had said in the Detroit radio station. She’d caught JC staring at her a few times, and once or twice he leaned over to ask, again, if she was OK. She tried to convince him, with a passably bright smile and a nudge, that she was fine. But still he watched her, his expression remaining dubious.

They were back in the hotel, supposed to be going to sleep, but so far it eluded her.

Honestly, she was fine. For the most part. And for the most part, what Tony had said wasn’t that bad. Except for suggesting that she was, maybe, more than just an opening act. Except for hinting that she was, maybe, involved with Justin. But she wasn’t, and never had been, and despite Tony’s words there was no evidence to suggest otherwise. And the fact that his words played in an endless loop in her head...well, she knew that would stop in a day or two.

But he was right, in a way. Wrong member of *NSYNC, but she was doing more than just going out onstage before them. With JC, she was definitely doing a helluva lot more. And thinking about that, and what other people might think about that, weighed on her heavily.

“You want to talk about it?” JC’s voice was quiet in the dark.

She jumped, startled by hearing him. “I thought you were asleep.”

“Nope. So do you want to talk about it?”

“Talk about what?”

"Whatever it is that's keeping you awake right now."

Casey laughed softly. "Is it that obvious?"

“Yeah, kinda.” When she didn’t respond he said, “So what’s on your mind?”

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “It’s just, you know...what we talked about a couple of weeks ago? The whole boyfriend and girlfriend thing?”

“What about it? Did you change your mind already?” His voice held and odd quality that she couldn’t quite figure out.

“No,” she said quickly. “Nothing like that. I was just...well, I just was thinking we should probably keep it quiet for now, right? I don’t think I’m ready for your fans to know I’m your girlfriend. They can be kind of...intense.”

“That’s very diplomatic of you,” he said flatly.

“JC…” Casey began.

“Casey, this is about that bullshit interview.”

His voice was mild but Casey cringed inwardly. “Yes. No. I don’t know.”

JC turned over so that he was facing her, and trailed his hand up her body from her hip to her cheek. “I wish you hadn’t listened to it,” he said softly.

She sighed and squeezed her eyes shut. “Me too,” she mumbled.

“I wish you would just…”

When he didn’t continue Casey said, “You wish I would what?”

JC leaned closer to her and placed a kiss on her forehead. “I think my fans, and everyone else, will handle the fact that we’re together better than you expect.” He turned over onto his back next to her.

“What does that mean?”

He found her hand on the bed next to his, and slipped his fingers through hers. “It means Tony’s an asshole, and we don’t have to tell anyone you don’t want to tell. Goodnight, Casey.”

She turned her head towards him and could just make out his silhouette in the darkness. She raised their clasped hands to her lips and brushed a kiss across the back of his hand. “Goodnight, JC."

She should’ve felt better, more settled. But she didn’t. If anything, she felt worse.

“You awake over there?”

Casey blinked and rubbed her eyes. “Sorta.” She was curled up one end of the lounge's wraparound couch with Jasmine sprawled out on the other end.

When she’d first gotten on the bus after the show, she couldn’t sleep. She turned on a movie in the lounge and Jasmine had joined her. They were onto movie number two with three hours left on the road, and Casey was doing a lot of dozing off and on.

After five nights of shows in five different cities, she was beyond worn out. They had two more shows to be followed by four blissful days off. In the meantime, she was exhausted but suffering from an annoying case of insomnia. Her head would hit the pillow, and all she could manage was a few broken hours. She hoped to catch up on her sleep during the upcoming break.

“Why are you still awake?” Casey asked her friend.

“Eh.” Jasmine shrugged. “Too much caffeine yesterday. Besides, whenever we get to...where are we going again?”

“San Diego, maybe?”

“Yeah,” Jasmine continued. “Whenever we get to San Diego, I get to sleep for another few hours before soundcheck. You don’t have that luxury.”

Casey snorted and mumbled something under her breath. It was true; sleep wasn’t going to be happening for her until sometime after that evening’s show. She had an interview and photo shoot scheduled for seven that morning.

“So since we’re both awake, can I ask you something?” Jasmine stared at her expectantly.

Feeling a little wary, Casey nodded slowly. “Sure…”

“I thought you said it was official now?”

“What was?”

“You and JC.”

With slight wariness giving way to deeper anxiety, Casey picked at one of her nails, not looking up at her friend. “It is.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Where else am I supposed to be?” She glanced at Jasmine, brow furrowed.

“Oh, I don't know. Maybe on the bus with your boyfriend...like he asked you to be." Jasmine stared at her pointedly.

"We’re pulling out in fifteen," Christoff says, passing by Casey in the hallway backstage.

She mock-salutes him and grabs her bag from the corner where it sits. As she slings it over her shoulder, she feels someone step up behind her.

“Hey, you.”

She smiles and turns around to see JC.

He pulls her in for a hug and brushes a quick kiss across her lips.

“Hey back.” She grins up at him. "I figured you'd already be passed out on your bus.”

"I plan to be very shortly," he says with a laugh. "Why don't you come pass out with me?"

"Like...on your bus?" She hopes he isn't offended by the note of incredulity that she's sure has crept into her voice.

JC chuckles again. "Like...yeah? We’ll stretch out in the lounge."

He's staring at her, looking slightly amused and she's staring back, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

"I...uh..." She's stammering, trying to form a coherent response. "Um...I'm sure Chris and J don't want me on the bus with you guys. You've already got a lot of...people there." She stops, knowing that sounds as lame to him as it does to her.

JC's eyebrows raise slightly. "Chris and Justin don't care, Case. You know that."

As she opens her mouth to reply, Mike comes up to them, completely oblivious to the conversation taking place. "Casey, can I borrow a pair of headphones? These have a short." He holds up a pair of earbuds.

Casey glances at JC before turning to him. "Yeah, sure. I'll, uh...I’ll be on the bus in a sec."

"You're a life-saver! Thanks." He rushes off down the hall.

"So, um, I'm going to grab those headphones for him. And, uh...I’ll see you at the hotel later," Casey says as she turns back to JC. She won't quite meet his eyes as she adjusts the strap of her messenger bag.

JC nods slowly. "OK, Case. I'll see you later then."

She raises on the balls of her feet to kiss his cheek. "Later." With that, she turns around to head for the door.

"You heard that?" Casey asked in a small voice.

"Yep.” When her friend didn’t reply she continued. “I heard about Tony’s interview, too.”

Casey groaned and covered her face with one hand as Jasmine continued to stare at her. “Of course you did,” she mumbled sarcastically.

“So is that why you wouldn’t ride the bus with JC?”

“I don’t need to ride the bus with JC. I have my own bus. And besides, I’ll see him again as soon as we stop. We share a hotel room now, remember?”

Even without seeing the expression on Jasmine’s face, she knew exactly how the words sounded coming out of her mouth. And she also knew that it was part of the reason for her sudden bout of insomnia.

Casey sat up, wrapping her arms around her bent knees. “Jazz, we’ll roll up to the hotel and even though it’s going to be like, five in the morning, there will be a group of *NSYNC fans. Like always.

“And when I get off the bus with JC, Justin, and Chris, someone is going to take a picture of that and it just…” She groaned again. “How’s that going to look?”

"You mean because of what Tony said?"

“I mean because of what it’ll look like.”

Jasmine raised her arms overhead and stretched before sinking further into the cushions of the couch. “Um...it’ll look like you’re JC’s girlfriend.”

“Don’t make a big deal out of it, Jazz.”

“You don’t think being JC Chasez’s girlfriend is a big deal?” Jasmine stared back at her wide-eyed.

“Not if,” Casey began slowly, “no one knows. And for now, no one needs to know.”

“You can’t keep it a secret forever.”

Casey rolled her eyes but didn’t say anything.

“Besides, some people already know,” Jasmine pointed out.

“I’m not talking about like, you guys. Yeah, our friends and family know. But we’re not going to make it public knowledge is what I’m saying.”

“You really think that’ll work?”

“Why wouldn’t it?”

“Things have a way of getting out. Wouldn’t it be better if you were the one in control of how that happens?”

“It won’t,” Casey said resolutely.

“OK...maybe not. But what about JC?”

Casey narrowed her eyes. “What about him?”

“I’m not trying to overstep my bounds here, Case, but...I watched his face when you walked away from him backstage earlier. And you’ve been really…” Jasmine stopped and sighed.

Fighting the urge to defend herself, Casey took a deep breath. “I’ve been really what? Just say it, Jazz.”

“Casey, I know you well enough to know that you really like him. But you’re kind of hot and cold sometimes. Just...don’t let Tony mess up the really good thing you have going now, OK? That’s all I’m saying.”

Jasmine shrugged and turned back to the TV, leaving Casey to fume silently.

***

Casey bounced when JC landed on the bed next to her.  “I’m so tired,” she groaned.

“Go to sleep,” he mumbled from his position face down on the bed.

She flopped onto her back and covered her face with her arm. “I have a photo shoot in less than two hours. If I sleep now I’m going to wake up feeling worse.”

It was after 5AM when the buses let them out in front of their San Diego hotel. Despite the early hour, a few particularly zealous fans were waiting and *NSYNC, along with Casey, graciously signed autographs and chatted for a few minutes before security hustled them inside.

When she groaned again, he turned to his side and looked at her. “So you’ll just keep making that noise so I can’t sleep either?” He cracked a smile when she frowned at him.

“Turn over.” He pushed her gently until she moved to her stomach. Propping himself up on his side with his head against his fist, he used his other hand to begin a light massage of her back. “Close your eyes for a little while.”

“Mmm...that feels magical.” She sighed and shifted a little closer to him. “Aren’t you tired, though?”

“I can go to sleep when you leave,” he said softly. “Shhh…”

For several moments there was almost complete silence; every so often Casey let out a sigh of contentment. JC stared down at her, his hands working over the muscles of her back and shoulders.

Asking her to ride the bus was an impulse decision. Five straight nights of shows in five different cities meant they hadn’t spent much time together. When he wrapped her up into a hug backstage, he decided he wanted to stay wrapped up with her for a least a few more hours before they got to the next destination. But when the question came out of his mouth, she looked back at him like the deer caught in the proverbial headlights.

“Case, if Tony hadn’t...” His voice was quiet and tentative. "Is that interview the reason you wouldn’t ride the bus with me last night?"

She inhaled and exhaled slowly for several breaths before turning over to look at him. “Neither Tony nor that interview have anything to do with why I didn't ride your bus last night."

Though he wouldn't have sworn on it, he was pretty sure she was lying. He kept the thought to himself.

"I don't think about Tony when I'm with you, JC,” she continued. “And I don't want to."

His eyes peered into hers and in that moment, he wished he knew what she was thinking; her expression gave him no clues.

Then her hand was creeping beneath the bottom of his shirt, and one of her legs was tossed over his. Putting her weight on her other arm, she angled her upper body across his and nuzzled her nose against his neck.

"If we’re both going to be awake, I can think of a better use of our time.”

Casey’s nuzzling turned to kisses along his jawline and JC closed his eyes. As he rolled her onto her back, he once again ignored that quiet voice that was getting louder by the day. His mouth claimed hers and soon enough, her body moving beneath his was the only thought on his mind.

***

"Ok, Mom. I'll talk to you soon. Love you, too." JC ended the call and flipped his phone shut before setting it on the table in front of him.

It was a little after nine in the morning and the entourage of buses was halfway through the two hour drive from San Diego to Inglewood; JC was eagerly looking forward to the last show of a six night streak.

Chris came into the bus kitchenette and plopped onto the bench across from him. He dug an orange out of the bowl on the table and began peeling it, placing the pieces of rind on the tabletop. "So." He glanced up at JC and went back to his orange.

JC nodded slowly, a small smile on his lips. "So." He knew his friend well enough that whatever it was he had to say--and clearly there was something--would be said when he was good and ready. He didn't wait long.

"So I hear you and the up and coming princess of R&B are sharing a room now, huh? Officially. "

JC snickered; there were no such things as secrets on a tour. "Princess of R&B?"

"That's what Vibe called her last month." Chris shrugged. "It's got a certain ring to it, don't you think?"

"I guess it does." JC chuckled again and began jigging his leg up and down.

"So you're officially official? I assume that was your doing." Chris tossed an orange slice into his mouth.

JC opened his mouth to answer, then closed it. Raising an eyebrow he said, "Why do you assume that?"

Chris finished chewing and swallowing, and shrugged again. "You're usually pretty straight forward about what you want. Casey's...not. Now that you're not pretending to hate her I just figured you'd be the one to take things to the next level first."

JC drummed his fingers on the table in concert with his still bouncing leg. He was quiet for a moment, considering Chris's words. "I never hated her," he said finally.

The older man rolled his eyes impatiently. "That's why I said pretending. We all knew you never hated her." He ate another orange slice before continuing.

There it was again; someone mentioning what he thought of Casey, before. JC racked his brain trying to figure out what others saw that he couldn't. He spent so much time actively avoiding her when Tony was around, that when the guy was gone he continued to do it out of habit.

"Dude, what do you mean you knew I didn't hate her? Justin said the same thing. And Casey mentioned how no one seems surprised that we're spending time together. What am I missing?"

Chris snorted. "You're serious, aren't you?"

JC. "Yeah! I mean, I stayed away when she was around, in the beginning. And she all but ignored me. So how could anyone think anything was there between us?"

"Do you remember the first night she was on the road with us?"

Blushing a little bit, JC nodded. "Yeah."

"Yeah. We all watched her show and I kept looking over at you. Dude, you were so obvious. You had this stupid ass little smile on your face while you watched her. It was kinda pathetic, actually."

JC picked up a piece of Chris’s orange rind and chucked it at him.

Chris tsked. “And you’re supposed to be the mature one.”

JC remembered that night clearly. He’d been mesmerized by Casey’s onstage presence and her talent. She'd come running offstage and the other guys, as well as various members of the crew, were congratulating her and her dancers on her first show. Joey picked her up and swung her around, while JC had stood back away from everyone. Her eyes met his, for just the briefest moment, and then Tony was right there again. He never got a chance to tell her how much he enjoyed her performance.

"You were moody as shit that night, later. And for that matter, you were moody as shit whenever you'd been around her or you knew we had." Chris shook his head and pulled the last slices of orange apart. "And Casey...she was almost as annoying as you."

JC straightened in his chair. "What do you mean?"

Chris rolled his eyes. "Why does JC haaaate meeee?" he whined in a high-pitched voice. "I just want him to loooove meeee."

JC laughed. "She never said that, Man."

"Close enough." Chris chuckled. "Especially after Tony was gone. Whenever we'd go out she'd play it off all nonchalantly. 'Is JC coming too?' Like she didn't care that much. And whenever you didn't, which was most of the time, she'd get pissy."

It was funny now, JC thought, knowing that she’d had a crush on him then.

"Lance told me that you saw Tony get rough with her one night. He was shaking her?" Chris straightened in his chair and looked at his friend expectantly.

"Yeah, but she says it wasn’t a big deal.”

Chris raised an eyebrow. “Abuse isn’t a big deal?

Not answering the question, JC clenched his jaw for a moment and looked down. “He did this interview last week. Some radio station in Detroit." He looked up at his friend and shook his head. “He trashed her right on air. Basically said she broke up with him and that he was let go from the tour because she was sleeping with Justin.”

Chris’s eyes widened. "He said that?"

"More or less."

"What'd she say?"

JC rolled his eyes. "Same thing she always says when it's about Tony. Not a damn thing. She's fine. Everything's fine. Whatever." He threw his hands up in frustration.

"And," Chris began slowly, "you don't believe that?"

"Things have been good lately. She's been pretty relaxed about us and everything. And then she hears that interview and now she's back to 'maybe we should keep this thing between us quiet' and it's just..." JC sighed and shook his head.

"Tony--and whatever the hell happened in that hotel room--is this big, dark storm cloud hovering over her. I don’t know what she needs to do to get past it, but what she’s doing now isn’t working.” He viciously raked his fingers through his hair. "But...”

A small, mirthless laugh escaped JC’s lips. “I like her, Man. A lot. But I’m just afraid--” He stopped abruptly and rubbed his hands over his face.

What are you afraid of, ‘C?”

“We’ve got a little over three months left on this tour, and if she just needs time and space to...I don’t know, to figure shit out….that’s fine. I can give her that.” JC’s voice was so quiet it was almost a whisper. “I just don’t want to find out that at the end of it all, I was just a distraction for her.”

"You more than like her, don’t you?" Chris said softly, casting his friend a pointed look.

JC averted his eyes and began spinning his phone around the table, but he said nothing.

When Dara first said she’d be joining the tour for a while, Casey was less than thrilled with the prospect of her manager looking over her shoulder at every turn. At least that’s what she assumed the situation would be. She was pleasantly surprised when things didn’t turn out that way. Dara accompanied her to photo shoots and interviews, but her presence was largely unobtrusive. Until that morning, when Dara had called and asked if they could chat.

She sat on a couch in her manager's hotel suite waiting for her to finish up a phone call, feeling like a kid who’d gotten called to the principal’s office after misbehaving.

Dara ended the phone call and turned somber eyes on Casey. “So, I’m going to cut to the chase. I know about Tony’s radio interview and I can only assume you do, too.”

At first Casey didn’t care much what was being said about her. And in the beginning it wasn’t difficult to ignore. But as her career gained traction, and definitely once the tour with *NSYNC began, there was more chatter. She’d be OK for a few weeks, not checking what was written about herself on message boards, online forums, or gossip rags. Then a well-meaning friend or family member would mention, in passing, something they heard about her. Usually it was something favorable (“You’re collaborating with Janet Jackson on your next album?”), but patently untrue. And then curiosity would get the better of her, and she’d search out information.

She’d made the mistake of telling Dara about some of the less than favorable, and equally untrue, things she’d come across about herself (“They’re saying I...well, you know...for tracks!”), and her manager would always advise her to stay away from silly whispers. And she would. For a little while. Until the next person made the next comment about the next thing they had heard.

Casey’s stomach dropped down to her ankles. “Oh. Yeah. That.”

“That's a yes, then?”

“A friend sent me the link.” She looked around the room uncomfortably. "Is it, um...going to be a problem? What he said about me and Justin?"

"I don't think so. A couple of other media outlets have gotten wind of it, but they're small time."

Casey relaxed noticeably.

"But," Dara began again, "it begs the question of what's going between you and JC. Last conversation we had, which I'll concede was quite a few weeks ago, you were just having fun. I haven't really checked in with you since you told me you were going to be sharing a room."

Casey worked her bottom lip between her teeth, not responding for several seconds. "We're, ah...it's, um..."

Dara pursed her lips and stared at Casey expectantly.

"We're together."

"Together?"

"We’re still having fun." Casey blew out a breath. "Just in a more...official capacity."

“Meaning?”

“Meaning he’s my boyfriend.”

The older woman nodded slowly. "OK.”

“We decided to keep it quiet,” Casey blurted out. “I mean, the fewer people who know, the better, right?"

"You're probably right, but how do you intend on keeping it quiet?"

Casey shrugged nonchalantly. "It's not like we're groping each other in public.”

“There’s more to it than that, Casey. You know by now how the gossip mill works. And all it takes is a couple of people seeing something, even something innocent, and mentioning it in the right places to the right people.”

When Casey said nothing in response Dara continued. “The two of you have been out together, alone, a handful of times. You’re positive no one has ever seen anything, ever?”

Casey stared back at her manager feeling uncomfortable again. “We’ve been careful. We’ll keep being careful.”

Dara raised an eyebrow. “And what if that’s not enough? Have either of you considered what could happen if it comes out that you’re dating? I’m willing to bet Johnny has an opinion on it.”

Casey frowned at the mention of JC’s manager. He was, to her knowledge, more or less neutral on the issue of them dating. Other than a few comments made early on extolling the benefits of safe sex--primarily when it came to preventing unplanned pregnancies--it didn’t seem he’d had much to say. Then again, she hadn't asked JC if he’d mentioned the fact that they’d put a label on things, and JC hadn’t volunteered the information.

She crossed her arms over her chest with a defiant huff. “Are you telling me I’m not allowed to date JC?”

Dara’s smirk was mirthful. “I’ve known you long enough to know that me telling you what you’re not allowed to do wouldn’t count for much. And besides,” she shook her head once, “I’m your manager. As you’ve mentioned on more than one occasion, my job is worrying about your career, not your personal life. I would never tell you who you should or shouldn’t date.

“But in terms of your career, I’d be remiss if I didn’t advise you that dating someone with the type of high profile JC has, may have a bigger impact than you may think.”

Casey gnawed on the inside of her cheek, saying nothing for a few seconds. "Like I said," she began with a dismissive wave her hand, "we're keeping things quiet. No one will know and it'll be fine."

Dara frowned at her client. "It may not be that simple, Casey. You should keep that in mind."

***

“You missed breakfast,” JC said when Casey came through the door.

“Had to. Dara summoned me.” She tossed her keycard and phone in the general vicinity of the loveseat and crossed the room to where he was standing.

He wrapped her into a hug and let her pull his head down to hers. “What’d she want?”

“To talk about boring stuff,” she murmured against his lips. “Please tell me you’re free for at least the next hour.” She slid her fingers up through his hair.

Her nails scratched gently at his scalp and he groaned when her tongue swept into his mouth. Her other hand trailed from his jaw, to his neck, down the front of his shirt. When it came to rest on the waistband of his pants, he pulled back from the kiss.

“Mmm, Case…” He kissed her once more and pulled away again. “I would...really like to…”

She kissed his chin and took a step back. “Duty calls, huh?”

"We've got a TV thing this morning." On impulse he added, "You could come with?"

Casey smirked, her hands dancing up his chest. "You're gonna let your opening act tag along?"

He grinned down at her, simultaneously gliding his fingers up the back of her shirt. "I would let my gorgeous, very sexy girlfriend tag along anywhere, anytime.”

“Hmm,” she hummed with her lips against his. “Flattery will definitely get you in my pants later, if that’s what you’re going for.”

He snickered and squeezed her butt. “What I’m going for is you coming with us. Yes?”

She weighed his request against her earlier conversation with Dara and shrugged. “Yeah...why not. Let me change clothes.”

***

From her position offstage, Casey smiled and bobbed her head along to the music as *NSYNC sang and danced in front of the cameras and live studio audience.

Her enthusiastic gaze remained on JC almost the entire time. She never tired of watching him perform. Whether in the large arenas they performed in night after night, or the much smaller space of the television studio they were currently in, he was so obviously and fully in his element when he was on a stage. Neither his energy nor his intensity changed or diminished in any way regardless of the size of the venue. What she loved most about all five of the guys as a group, was that they gave 110% no matter what.

As always, the guys were engaging, friendly, and charming during the interview portion of the taping. There was a moment of near-panic for Casey when one of the hosts went down the line asking each young man, in turn, if they were single or dating anyone special. After recent events, she was mostly sure JC wouldn't have said anything even remotely incriminating, but it eased her mind when just before it was his turn to answer, some girls in the audience screamed something loudly. The outburst became the topic of discussion and he never had an opportunity to give a response to the question.

On some level, she liked that no one in the general public knew what was going on between them. The more of her life that was on public display, the more she valued the things she was able to keep private. And although JC wasn't, as he joked about some weeks before, her dirty secret, her relationship with him was something that was becoming more and more important to her by nature of the fact that she didn't have to share any piece of it with anyone else.

As low key a person as he was inherently, he was also a celebrity--one with a rather high profile thanks to the success of his music. Even if Casey had had no success to speak of, she knew people would still want to know more about her just because of who he was. The fact that she was also in the public eye meant people would be even more curious. And curiosity would lead to questions, which would lead to speculation, which would lead to people commenting on and making assumptions about a relationship that was, for all intent and purpose, still very new.

She just wanted the chance for the two of them to figure things out together, without any undue pressure or stress from the outside.

*NSYNC finished their performance and as the show ended, she pushed her thoughts aside, waiting for the guys to come offstage.

***

JC wrapped Casey up in a hug that she half-heartedly tried to get out of.

"'C," she whispered, "someone could see us."

With his arms still around her he glanced around. There were a few people associated with the TV studio, mostly behind the scenes technical support, involved in various tasks but no one was looking in their direction.

"Let's live dangerously." Smirking down at her, he planted a quick kiss on her forehead before releasing her.

"OK, Mr. I don't like PDA; you're going to be the one to get us in trouble." She laughed.

“That was hardly PDA.”

Flanked in the front and rear by security, they made their way along the side of the building and into their waiting SUV. Justin was already inside so Casey crawled in next to him, with JC settling next to her.

Sliding his arm around her shoulders, JC pulled Casey closer to him and put his lips against her ear. “How about a raincheck on this morning?”

She giggled but before she could respond Justin groaned. "Listen, I'm actually really happy to see the two of you all hugged up on each other these days. You're both much easier to be around. But could you save the sex talk and mushy shit for when I’m not around?”

JC blushed but didn’t release his hold on her.

As the vehicle carried them back to the hotel, conversation shifted to other topics and twenty minutes later, they pulled up to the hotel. A small group of about twenty teenage girls were huddled on the sidewalk outside the entrance.

Peering out of the heavily tinted window, Justin groaned quietly. “I don’t mean to sound like a dick, but sometimes I just want to go from point A to point B without playing to an audience.”

Casey poked him in the back as Dre opened the door for them. “It’s the price of success, J. Suck it up and smile.”

As he was on the side nearest the curb, Justin climbed out first. The moment his head cleared the car, a rumble of excitement rose amongst the group of fans. A few girls shrieked in elation, while several just called his name. Smirking, he gave Casey the finger behind his back before approaching the waiting girls with his bodyguard at his side.

Casey got out of the vehicle next, with JC jumping out right behind her. After quickly falling into step next to her, he waved to the fans and slid his arm around her shoulder. “So you never answered me about that raincheck?”  

Casey glanced at the crowd. "JC!" She turned wide eyes on him and shrugged his arm off. "Shh!" With that, she jogged away from him.

He watched her, a slight frown on his face, as she approached Joey from behind and jumped onto his back. Shaking his head, he followed Eric over to the group of fans.

***

JC was silent on the way up to the elevator, which, he noted, Casey didn't notice. Or maybe she didn't much care; he was never completely sure with her. Her attention was mostly on Chris as, along with Lonnie, Dre, and Joey, they laughed about something one of the fans had asked out front.

The elevator doors opened on their floor and Casey shuffled out next to JC, looking down at her phone. They made the short trek down the hall to their room and once the door was unlocked and they were tucked inside, she sighed loudly and dropped to the sofa.

"That girl really wanted Joey to sign her boobs!" She shook her head in disbelief. "She said she was twenty-one but she was totally lying. I'd be surprised if she was anymore than sixteen."

He watched her talk to him--or more accurately, talk at him. She still hadn't acknowledged the fact that he'd literally not said a word to her since the exchange as they got out of the car. His state of mild annoyance was giving way to semi-amazement. He still wasn't sure if she was oblivious or pretending really well; she had to feel the tension that was, in his own mind, radiating from him.

After a few moments of only sort of listening to her talk, JC mumbled something incoherent in reply and went into the bedroom, where he fell back on the bed. Casey called him from the other room but he remained silent, closing his eyes.

“JC?”

He could tell by the close proximity of her voice that she was standing in the doorway. “Yeah?” He still didn't turn over.

With his eyes closed he couldn’t see her approaching, but he felt the bed dip when she sat next to him.

“Will you just tell me what’s wrong?” she asked gingerly.

He sighed and flipped over onto his back, staring at her wordlessly at first.

Casey couldn't quite meet his gaze and she wouldn't stop fidgeting with the bedspread. The fact that she was at least a little embarrassed comforted him somewhat and he felt slightly appeased.

When he spoke his voice was quiet, but his eyes on her were intense. "I didn't think you noticed."

She stopped fiddling with the bedding long enough to roll her eyes at him. "Noticed you being pissed at me? Yeah, I noticed. And I figured I'd ignore it until you either decided to tell me why or got over it. But apparently neither of those things is going to happen anytime soon."

When his mouth fell open, Casey shrugged.

Despite his frustration with her and the situation, he chuckled. “What was that all about out front?"

She looked down away from him. "What was what all about out front?"

"I mean," he pushed himself into a sitting position, "I had my arm around you and you practically shoved me out of the way, only to run up to Joey and jump on his back. What was that about?”

Casey winced, allowing her head to fall forward. "That...that was about the fact that we're supposed to be staying under the radar and that’s impossible if we're hanging all over each other in public."

JC’s lips became a tight line and he narrowed his eyes. “Whatever, Casey.” He lay back down and turned away.

His arm had been around her shoulder, and yeah, he was whispering something that was kind of about sex, but no one in the crowd could’ve heard what he was saying from where they were. And even if they had, they wouldn’t have necessarily known what he was talking about.

“JC.”

Casey pushed at the arm he had tossed over his face but he didn’t respond.

“JC,” she repeated, nuzzling her nose against his ear. “Come on; don’t be mad at me.”

His response was a grunt, and although he didn’t open his eyes, he let her move his arm out of the way.

“You caught me off guard and I panicked,” she whispered, gently brushing her fingertips across his cheek. “I’m sorry I pushed you away like that.”

She crawled over him, straddling him, and he opened his eyes to meet hers.

She was sincere, that much was obvious to

him. Though he was still frustrated, his resolve to stay angry with her was quickly slipping.

“So I can’t touch you in public, but you can jump on Joey’s back in front of a bunch of fans and that’s OK?” He made no effort to keep the disbelief out of his voice.

She frowned. “That’s different, JC.”

His eyes rolled almost involuntarily. “How so?”

She made a face and he knew she was trying to come up with a response, could almost hear the gears turning in her head.

“Come on, JC; you know how Joey is. Or at least how everyone thinks he is.” She groaned. “No one’s going to see me with him and think I’m sleeping with him. He’s...he’s Joey.”

He bit his lip to stifle the laughter that was trying to come out, trying to maintain his stern facade. “What does that even mean?”

“You know what I mean. And besides, even if some of your fans thought there was anything between Joey and me…” She trailed off and absently fingered the bottom of his shirt.

“Even if they did, what? Say it?” His voice was soft but firm.

Casey sighed and her shoulders dropped. “They wouldn’t care. Not the way they’d care if they knew something was going on between us. You know how it is for you, and for Justin. And after what Tony said...” She raised her eyes to his.

“When I talked to Dara this morning she said she doesn’t think what he said will gain any traction in the media, but, you know, she agrees that we should be cautious. About us.”

JC was mostly silent for a moment, the only sound that of his even breathing. When he spoke, it was with a forceful exhalation.

“It wasn’t like I was trying to make out with you, Casey. I wasn’t even holding your hand. I had my arm around your shoulder and it wouldn’t have been a big deal.”

“I’m sorry,” she repeated quietly.

He softened, letting his hands wander up to rest on her hips. “I know.”

And he did. Besides, she was right; at least in terms of the fans, people cared far more about his and Justin’s personal lives. It was the one aspect of *NSYNC's success that he hated.

He also knew that Casey hadn’t purposely set out to offend him. Or hurt his feelings. And he supposed that made a difference.

She smiled shyly and leaned over to kiss him. “So does that mean you forgive me?”

He smirked, tightening his hold on her. “Depends...can we talk about that raincheck now? Finally?”

She snickered and kissed him again, lingering with her mouth against his. “Yes, but…”

“But?” He traced her bottom lip with his tongue. He was feeling pacified, and incidentally maybe, horny. She generally had that effect on him.

“But,” she repeated, pulling away, “for the record, that silent treatment stuff doesn’t work on me. Next time you’re angry with me, just say so.”

He snickered and pulled her back down. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Casey made her way through the aisle of bunks to the kitchenette, to find Dara at the table. Her laptop and an assortment papers were spread out in front of her. She was in the midst of what sounded like an important call, and so Casey made an effort to be quiet. She opened a drawer and carefully rummaged through it until she came across a bag of her favorite chips.

“Keep me updated,” Dara said before snapping her phone shut. She groaned, and typed something on her computer.

“Everything OK?” Casey asked tentatively.

Another of Dara’s clients, two brothers that made up a singer-songwriter duo, were in the midst of a financial tug of war with their label and lately her manager had been expending lots of energy in trying to avert a major crisis.

“Uh…” Dara typed a bit more before looking up at Casey. “Everything’s fine. More or less. It’s actually good that you’re here. Have a seat.”

Casey grabbed a bottle of water to go with her chips and slid onto the bench across from her manager. “What’s up?”

“First of all, there’s this.” Dara pushed a piece of paper toward her. “With this leg of the tour winding down, it’s time to start really getting serious about your next album.”

Casey paused in opening her chips, putting the bag down to take the paper. Lips moving silently, she read the list of familiar names on the page. “What’s this?”

Dara smiled. “That’s the list of people you’ve expressed interest in working with, who’ve also expressed interest in working with you.”

“Seriously?” Casey grinned over the top of the paper.

The topic of her second album had been much discussed between her manager and the powers that be at the record label. At their request she’d named a bunch of people she wanted to work with, with no hopes of anything actually coming to pass. She was thrilled to see more than a few of those names in front of her.

“Seriously.” Dara nodded. “We’re starting to work out scheduling details but of course it all depends on what happens with the European leg of this tour. “

That had been another thing Casey was wondering about. JC had told her that since *NSYNC wanted her back, it was pretty much in the bag, but she hadn’t heard anything about it directly from Dara.

“Do you think they’ll ask me back?”

“It’s mostly a done deal. There will be paperwork to file and checks to sign, but unless something completely unexpected happens between now and then, you’re in. Unless you decide you don’t want to do it…”

Casey looked up sharply. “Why would I decide that? You keep saying how great this tour’s been for my career.”

Dara shrugged. “I’m just saying, you never know. Some other opportunity, an even better one, could pop up between now and then. It’s always a good idea to keep your options open.”

Her manager wasn’t usually given to cryptic messages, but there was something about the expression on her face that gave Casey pause. She tabled the discussion for the moment.

With her eyes still lingering over the names on the list, she muttered, “If you say so.”

“There is...something else.” Dara’s expression was somber as she looked over at Casey. “Right now it’s a small thing, and I don’t want you to worry, but at the same time I think you should be aware.”

Casey uncapped the water bottle and took a generous swig as excited anticipation gave way to nervous trepidation. “That sounds...ominous.” She forced out a chuckle.

Dara took a deep breath and continued. “Jive received word that Tony may be shopping a book. It’s supposed to be a kind of inside the industry, behind-the-scenes tell-all. And, well, the rumor is that his time with you, before and during the tour, would factor in heavily.”

Casey stared back at her manager, eyes unblinking. “His time with me? What...what does that mean exactly? Like, professionally? Or, um...personally?”

There was the music she’d made with Tony, songs he’d produced for her that she was, largely, proud of. It was early in her career, before she’d been signed or had a manager. And despite her opinion of him as a person, the music they’d made together was good. But their personal relationship was an entirely different story. A story she knew he’d embellish on, if not outright lie about. And most of what went on between them, personally, was not something she wanted anyone--especially not her family and friends-- to know anything about.

“We think he’s going for the personal angle. Considering your growing popularity, some people may be interested in what he has to say.”

Casey stared at her manager, a stricken look on her face.

“Casey, I don’t want you to obsess over this,” Dara continued. “It may very well turn out to be nothing. And the most important thing you need to remember is that you have a lot of powerful people who are very invested in you and your career and they’re not going to let anything--or anyone--jeopardize that.”

Casey swallowed hard, trying to ignore the feeling of nauseousness growing in her stomach. “OK. So you'll keep me updated or whatever?”

Dara patted her hand. “I debated telling you, because it's not really an issue at this point. But I didn't want you to be caught unaware, just in case.”

***

Casey was quiet on the ride back to the hotel.

Onstage, under the lights and in front of the crowd, once the music started there was nothing else in her mind but the performance. It was like being in a trance--inasmuch as she knew what being in a trance was like. But when she was singing and dancing, nothing else mattered.

Offstage was a different story.

She was vaguely aware of the weight of JC’s arm around her shoulders, and the fact that he and Lawrence and Jasmine were having a goodnatured debate comparing and contrasting Michael Jackson and Prince. She closed her eyes and leaned back against the seat, lost in her own thoughts.

She hadn’t told anyone, but she’d begun searching the internet for anything she could find about Tony, just on the off chance he’d mention her. There was, to her knowledge, no news on his book. Nor had she heard about any more interviews he’d given. But she couldn’t shake the feeling that he wasn’t done with promoting himself by using her name. And the damage he could potentially do to her, to that end, terrified her.

She wasn’t proud of her beginnings with Tony. Definitely wasn’t the sort of story she’d ever want getting back to her parents. Or, she shuddered to think, Matthew. And of course there was JC. And the night that a trip to get ice changed everything between them. What would he think if he knew it was kind of a pattern with her?

She assumed Tony would brush over his part in everything that happened. Would flat out lie about the real reason he was no longer on her tour, same as he’d done on the radio show. But if he mixed in just enough truth, people would probably believe it.

“Time to wake up,” JC whispered in her ear.

Casey opened her eyes to see that the vehicle was stopped in front of the hotel. She smiled up at him. “I was just resting.”

He stared at her appraisingly, while the other inhabitants exited the vehicle. “Are you OK?”

He was doing more of that lately. Asking if she was OK. Watching her when he didn’t think she noticed.

She glanced beyond his shoulder and, seeing the coast was clear, brushed a quick kiss on his lips. “How about we go upstairs and you tell me?” With a wink, she climbed over him to get out of SUV.

***

It was silent in the room save for their breathing, his a bit more labored than hers. And that made sense, considering he’d done most of the work that evening. He would’ve been OK with that, because there had been plenty of times that she’d been the one doing the heavy lifting so to speak.

But it was more than that.

She’d initiated it, but she’d been quieter than normal. He was used to her talking during sex, explicit words detailing exactly what she liked about what he was doing. Pointed questions, asking him if he liked what she was doing back. And the sounds she made… Sometimes the thought of her moaning in his ear, the way she breathed his name, the way, when he was hitting a particular spot...sometimes just thinking about it was enough to make him hard.

But that evening, there was no talk. And there was no breathing his name. And even when she came--and he was sure she had, could feel her rhythmic clenching around his dick--it was with a catch in her breath and a soft sigh.

And she touched him differently that night. Gingerly. Like she was afraid she might break him. And it wasn't the first time it had happened in the past week.

When it was over, and she lay beneath him with her eyes closed, JC eased off of her and onto his side next to her. "Casey?

“Hmm?”

He touched her cheek softly, but she didn't move. “Where are you?”

Her eyes opened slowly and she met his gaze. "What do you mean?”

“I mean…” He leaned in closer to her, wrapping one arm her midsection. “Where are you?”

She blinked slowly and sniffed. “I'm right here."

JC pursed his lips and stared at her. "Your body may be here but the rest of you is miles away. Tell me what’s wrong."

She grimaced, rolling over and away from him. “I’m fine, JC. I keep telling you that and you keep asking me.”

She never lied, exactly. But there were levels to what she considered honest. Time and proximity had taught him that. But he didn’t say it.  

“Then maybe that should tell you something,” he said. “Like if I keep asking, there’s a reason I don’t believe you.”

Silence loomed between them as she said nothing in response.

***

“JC?” she said quietly. “Are you awake?” She pushed his arm gently and when he didn’t move, she slipped from between the sheets.

She grabbed his shirt where it lay at the bottom of the bed, and buttoned enough of the buttons that she was covered. After kneeling down and grabbing something from her suitcase, she tiptoed out of the bedroom and into the living area of the suite.

Casey situated herself in a chair by the window, pushing the curtain back just enough to let a sliver of moonlight through. She curled her legs up underneath her, slid her headphones onto her ears, and pressed play on the portable cd player.

She stared out into the blackness of the night beyond the window. The night was clear, and she hoped that some of that clarity would cut through her cluttered thoughts.

He’d told her she was miles away, and despite her denials, he was right. She stalled for a bit, while he fumed, before giving him a version of the truth, mentioning the impending second album. Told him she was already afraid of the sophomore slump. Told him she was stressed and feeling a little overwhelmed.

JC stared down at her first, in a way that was becoming familiar to her. A way that said he was aware that she wasn't being wholly honest, but the he wouldn't press the issue to appease her. And then he was his characteristically sweet and encouraging self. Told her she couldn't worry about critics and she only needed to be true to herself and the artist that she was. Told her she was amazingly talented and that he was sure she’d make magic in the studio.

She felt a little guilty, not exactly lying to him, but not totally telling the truth. She felt guiltier still, watching him even as he watched her. The tell-tale squint of his eyes. The way his lips pursed ever so slightly. He knew it, too. And when he’d fallen asleep eventually, her head nestled against him, she sat up and gazed down at his face.

The words she wanted to say were bitter on her tongue. My psycho ex-boyfriend may be writing a book that may or may not detail certain aspects of our relationship that I'd rather not have documented. And by the way, the way he and I got together doesn’t have anything to do with the way you and I got together.

Of course she was maybe getting ahead of herself. Dara said that the powers that be were keeping a close watch on things. And time would prove that true or false.

But for now, in the dark, she couldn't turn off her thoughts. Because maybe it would actually be something more. Something bigger. Something that had the potential to impact not only her career, but maybe every relationship she had.

***

JC reached out for her, feeling nothing but cool emptiness next to him; She'd obviously been out of bed for awhile. With a grunt, he pushed himself to sitting and blinked, bleary eyes slowly adjusting to the dark.

The bathroom door was open, pitch blackness beyond.

"Casey?" he called softly. Several seconds passed with him waiting for a response and he finally peeled the covers back and got out of bed.

He rubbed his arms against the chill in the room and stepped across the bedroom's threshold into the living area.

She was curled up in a chair, wearing his button down shirt, legs tucked beneath her. She'd pushed back the curtains a bit and her face was illuminated with the soft glow of the moon.

He moved closer, saying her name softly again. He could hear the faint sound of what sounded like a trumpet coming from her direction, and when he was stepped nearer to her he could see the headphones in place over her ears, the personal compact disc player in her lap.

Seconds passed and he watched her. She was so still, so silent, but he saw her blink every so often. When she didn’t notice how close he was, he reached out and touched her gently.

She started, sitting up straight and pushing her headphones down around her neck.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you," he said, squeezing her shoulder.

“No, it’s fine. I didn’t hear you come in the room.”

He gestured down to her headphones with a smirk. He could clearly make out Miles Davis’ “Flamenco Sketches” playing through the earpieces. “Yeah, well, I’m not surprised.”

She smiled sheepishly and turned off the music. “I guess it’s kinda loud, huh.”

He knelt down beside her and placed one hand on her knee. “You OK, Case?”

She stared back at him for a moment, a flash of something in her eyes that was gone as quickly as he saw it. "Yeah, just couldn't sleep. I've gotten used to the kinda sleep I get on the bus, I guess. The constant motion."

He nodded, sure he didn't believe her, but not sure it was the time to press the issue. He stood up and reached a hand out to her. "Come back to bed; I'll help you fall asleep."

She gave him a crooked grin. "How? You gonna sing to me?"

He pulled her until she stood up next to him. "If that's what it takes."

After sliding the headphones from around her neck, she left the disc player on the chair and followed him back to bed. Once they'd settled beneath the still cool sheets, Casey on her side with him curled against her from behind, she laughed softly.

"So do you take requests, or is it performer's choice?"

"I'll sing whatever you want me to sing...if I know the words," he whispered against her ear.

She closed her eyes and slid her fingers through his.

"Dammit!" JC tossed the controller to the couch as Chris jumped up in excitement.

"That's the third time. Admit it, ‘C: you suck!" The older man proceeded to do a short victory dance.

JC rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "I ain't admitting shit. This game is rigged."

"Who's got next?" Chris looked between Lonnie and Dre.

With a shake of his head, JC walked through the sliding pocket door to the bunks. After hoisting himself up and into his bed, he settled into the space. He pulled his phone from beneath his pillow and stared at it, blinking slowly.

Casey was on his mind.

It was mid-morning, not super early in the grand scheme of things, but considering the fact that they were still a couple of hours away from their next stop, he assumed she'd be asleep.

He'd been thinking about it since the night he'd found her sitting in the moonlight. And the snippet of conversation he'd caught the previous afternoon had cemented his decision.

He'd been backstage some hours before the show. He was coming around the corner, and Casey was standing in the hallway with Dara. He'd only been trying to be polite, not wanting to barge in right in the middle of the conversation. He wasn't lurking, or spying. At least, not on purpose. He was going to say something, as it soon as it seemed like a good time. But then it became apparent that whatever they were talking about had Casey a little agitated. And he wanted to know why. And the fact that Dara seemed calm was a good thing, until he heard his name.

"Casey," Dara says firmly, staring down at her client, "let me worry about Tony."

Casey's eyes widen, and just when she's about to open her mouth to respond, Joey thumps JC on the back.

"JC!" he exclaims obliviously. "Johnny wants you."

Casey and Dara had seen him in the hallway after that and the conversation was over. He hadn't even bothered to ask Casey what was going on, knowing she wouldn't have told him.

With a deep breath, he scrolled through his phone's contact list and chose a number. The phone rang and he nervously chewed on a fingernail.

"Hey, JC," the obviously surprised voice said upon answering.

"Jazz," JC said with something like relief in his voice. "Casey's not near you, is she?"

***

Maybe this was a bad idea after all. Standing outside Jasmine's door, hand poised to knock, it felt a little like betrayal. Or at least like sneaking around behind her back. Which--considering he'd asked Jasmine if they could talk privately when Casey wasn't around, considering he waited until she was gone, off to a do a photoshoot and interview for who knows how many hours--was exactly what he was doing.

But he was already there. And Jasmine was already waiting. JC took a deep breath and rapped on the door. An instant later, she was opening it and ushering him inside.

"All the secrecy and now you're standing here in ninja mode." Jasmine raised an eyebrow, a smirk on her lips. "Should I be worried?"

JC crossed the threshold and pushed the hood back off of his head as she closed the door behind him. He glanced down at his clothes, snickering a little; the black hoodie and sweats were a coincidence.

He smiled down at her. "It was just at the top of my bag."

She nodded and gestured to the sofa as she curled herself into a chair. "So what's up, JC?" She stared at him expectantly, her expression full of unmasked interest.

When he'd called her from the bus, Casey was, as he'd expected, asleep. Despite the vague sense of guilt he felt in asking Jasmine to meet with in private, he was glad she'd agreed readily.

He coughed a bit nervously as he took a seat. "I guess I'm just going to cut to the chase, Jazz." He glanced at her, before looking down to his lap, rubbing his hands over his thighs. "I want to know what happened with Tony that night. You know, when she first came on tour."

If she was surprised by his question, JC thought, she didn't show it. Jasmine continued to look at him, blinking slowly and seemingly pondering the question momentarily.

"I know you're probably wondering why I'm not talking to her," he began.

She quirked an eyebrow up and shook her head. "Uh, no. I'm pretty sure I know why you're not talking to her."

He snorted. Jasmine knew Casey as well as-- probably more than--he did.

"But," she continued slowly, "I don't think I can tell you anything you haven't already heard." She shrugged and absently picked at a fingernail. "I didn't actually see much, JC."

He inhaled deeply, and nodded. "I just...it's like he has this hold on her still. And I keep thinking that maybe if I know more about that night, I can help her." He smiled self-consciously and shrugged.

Jasmine's inhale was slow and measured. "I was going to borrow something from her. I don't remember what it was now, but that's why I was there in the first place.

"We were laughing about something, and maybe that's why we didn't hear them or...maybe they were quiet. I don't know." Her eyes shifted down to where where her hands were fidgeting in her lap.

"They?" JC repeated, brow wrinkled.

Jasmine met his eyes briefly. "There was a girl in the room with him."

He scoffed. "I didn't know anyone else was there."

Jasmine stared at him quizzically. "Oh. Well." She shook herself and continued. "Casey opened the door and this girl was there and like, Tony wasn't even embarrassed. She was. So she like, grabbed her shirt and shoes and ran out of the room. And he was just sitting there with this nasty little smile on his face.

"And Casey was really quiet and she told me she'd meet up with me later which obviously meant she wanted me to go." She paused again, bringing one hand up to her hair. She wound and unwound her ponytail in her fingers, and continued to stare down at her lap.

"I didn't want to go. Something told me to stay, which probably sounds really convenient after the fact." She made a little sound of disgust. "I never trusted him. None of us--Me, Mike, or Lawrence--did. When Amber was here she and Casey got into a fight about how he treated her."

She shrugged and continued. "I just never understood their relationship, and I don't think anyone else did, either."

JC made a face and nodded in agreement.

"Anyway, I left. Sorta. I stayed right outside the door because..." She trailed off and shrugged. "I don't know why, really. I just felt like I should be there. And at first I couldn't hear anything, and I almost walked back down the hall to my room, but then I heard them yelling."

She stopped talking again, and JC resisted the urge to press her to continue. He gnawed on his thumbnail as he waited for her to go on.

Jasmine pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. "From start to finish it was maybe like, ten minutes. Them yelling and then I heard him laughing. I had my ear right up against the door." She shuddered. "Something about it creeped me out, and then I--" She stopped suddenly, lifting her head to meet JC's eyes.

"There was this eerie couple of seconds of silence and I put my ear to the door and it was muffled but it sounded like she was close and I heard her tell him to let go and then there was this like, thump. I don't know how to describe it." She took a deep breath and dropped her gaze again.

"I knocked on the door and called her name and when she didn't answer I started banging on the door and yelling. And I know it was only a matter of maybe thirty seconds or so, but it felt like hours, and Justin and Lonnie came down the hall and, well, you know what happened after that."

JC well-remembered the commotion that followed even though he only heard it from the other side of his hotel door. Hotel security was called, followed closely by the Baton Rouge police. He found out later that Tony was escorted out of the hotel in handcuffs and Casey was taken to the hospital.

"After she got out of the hospital the next day I asked her what happened and she, you know, wouldn't answer. She said it was done, and Tony was gone, and that she was fine. And she asked me to drop it. So I did." Jasmine shrugged.

"That sounds like Casey," he said with a nod. "Something's going on right now, though. And I'm pretty sure it has something to do with him. She hasn't said anything to you?"

"No" Jasmine said softly. "She's been kinda spacey sometimes, like during rehearsals. Lawrence asked her if everything was OK and she said she was just preoccupied with whatever's going on with the new album."

"I guess that's the official story, then. It's the same thing she said to me, but..."

"You don't believe her?" she supplied when he didn't finish the statement.

JC laughed shortly. "No." He briefly considered mentioning that he'd heard Dara say Tony's name backstage, but thought better of it. "I just wish she'd talk to me. Or someone." With an audible exhale he stood up. "Thanks, Jazz."

She followed suit, trailing him as he walked toward the door. "You're welcome but, like I said, I'm pretty sure I didn't tell you anything you didn't already know."

He rocked his head from side to side. "I didn't know about the chick in the room with him, so there's that."

"I'm not sure how that's helpful, but..." She laughed as he reached for the door handle. "JC?"

He turned to face her, not yet pulling the door open. "What's up?"

"I think if you keep asking, she'll talk to you. About everything."

His expression as he looked down at her was clearly skeptical. "What makes you think that?"

She smiled, looking a little embarrassed. "I, um, don't wanna like, weird you out or anything, but I think you two are really good together. I think you're really good for her. And she trusts you. Even if like, you don't think so. She does."

He grinned down at her and wrapped one arm around her shoulders for a hug. "You're good people, Jazz. Thanks again."

JC headed back down the hall feeling no better than he had before his tête-à-tête with Jasmine. If anything, he was more curious than ever about what happened in the hotel room.

With Jasmine's words bouncing around his head, he unlocked his hotel room door.

***

JC looked up when the blue beanie baby fell into his lap.

"I never should've said anything. It's outta control." Justin collapsed onto the chair across from him, several other Carolina blue items in his hand.

As was the case since the first time he'd publicly mentioned his love of the Chapel Hill Tarheels, fans bestowed gift after baby blue gift upon him. The meet and greet they'd held earlier netted him even more items, from t-shirts and hats, to stuffed animals and socks, and everything in between.

They were in a small room backstage, waiting until it was time to begin getting dressed for the show.

JC laughed and chucked the bear back at him. "If the *NSYNC thing doesn't work out for us, you can open up a UNC museum."

Justin rolled his eyes playfully and pulled a Tarheels hat over his head. "What are you doing?"

"Staring off into space, mostly." The brunette gestured down at the notebook in his lap. "I had a train of thought going, but my mom called and I lost it."

"Yeah, I saw you on the phone earlier. How's everyone?"

"I only talked to my mom, but she says everyone's good and everything's fine." JC drummed his pen against the notebook. "I, uh, told her about me and Casey."

Justin's eyebrows raised. "Yeah? What'd she say?"

"You know my mom; she's cool." JC smiled crookedly. "She said she figured something was up because I went from not talking about Casey at all to...well, I guess her name comes up more than I realized now." He shrugged. "She wants to meet her when we get back to Florida."

"Hmm." Justin nodded. "That's something, huh?"

JC stared at his friend for a moment, noting the barely concealed smirk on his face. He shook his head, chuckling. "You obviously have something to say about it, so go ‘head and say it."

Justin's eyes widened in mock surprise. "What do you mean, Man? I'm just saying it's good, you know? You met her parents; she's meeting your parents. It's all official and shit."

JC pursed his lips, considering Justin's use of the word official. He shook his head, eyes downcast.

"So what's that mean?" Justin asked, leaning forward in his chair.

"It means we're not technically official, because she doesn't want us to be official," JC replied acerbically.  

"Well," Justin began slowly, "you're technically official, just not public. There's a difference. Technically."

JC cut his eyes at his friend. "That...sounds like Casey's logic. But whatever. It doesn't really matter."

"Liar," Justin challenged, smiling lightly.

Ignoring the comment JC said, "I told her a while ago that I was fine with taking things at a pace she's comfortable with and I, you know, meant that."

"But it obviously matters to you."

JC sighed, tiredly rubbing his face. "I don't like, need to make an announcement in People or anything. But every time I get asked if I'm dating someone and I say no, and every time we're out in public and she works overtime to get as far away from me as possible, we're lying. And I hate being a liar." He shrugged again.

Justin watched him quietly for a few moments, blue eyes sharp and focused. "Is that all it is? I mean, I know you value truth and honesty and all that shit."

JC made a face but Justin continued before he could respond. "But does the way you feel about her not wanting to be public have less to do with being sincere or whatever, and maybe more to do with you and your, ah, feelings for her. And the fact that maybe you think her feelings aren't quite the same?"

JC stared back at Justin unblinking, before becoming preoccupied with gnawing at a hangnail.

"Hmm," Justin murmured. "I thought for sure you'd argue with me."

"I think," JC said quietly, "I could be falling for her. Maybe."

"Think maybe?" Justin scoffed. "You're sure it's not more than that, because I was thinking something along the lines of L-O--"

"It's a little soon for all of that, Man." JC smiled as he cut him off. "But I, uh...she's different. I feel different about her, you know? And just when I'm positive that she's feeling the same way, she..."

He shook his head, scowling. "Something's going on with her right now. Something I'm pretty sure has to do with her shitty ex-boyfriend. But I don't know what she's thinking, and she won't tell me."

"Have you asked her?" Justin crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back.

"Have you met her?" JC's expression was disdainful as he snorted. "Casey can be really direct when she wants something, but she's also really good at being cagey when she wants to be."

He sighed and went back to chewing on his fingernail. "I want to know what happened in that hotel room with Tony."

"I've told you what I know," Justin said with a shrug. "Last time I talked to her, Jazz didn't know much more than I did, really. But you could ask her."

"I did," JC said. When Justin looked at him quizzically he explained. "Ask Jazz, I mean. I talked to her yesterday. Casey was gone doing an interview or something so I--"

"Seized the moment?" Justin interjected.

JC snickered. "Something like that. But like you said, she doesn't know much more than you do. She asked Casey what happened right after and Casey asked her to drop it. Because that's just what Casey does." Each time he repeated her name, he couldn't help but feel a little more agitated about the entire situation, and her unwillingness to about it.   

"Then maybe you could tell Casey how you're feeling about her and everything else, and ask her to level with you." Justin stared at him pointedly.

JC began to speak when the door to the small room opened. Lara, one of the wardrobe assistants, poked her head in. "Hey guys, we need to borrow you for a few minutes."

They both stood, assuring her they were on the way, but before they could cross the threshold through the door Justin poked JC in the back. "Talk to Casey, JC. Be honest with her."

JC glanced back over his shoulder. "We'll see." 

“Casey.” JC placed his hand on her cheek and grimaced.

Her skin was on fire, waves of heat radiating from her skin. She was still sleeping, but if her expression was any indication, it was far from peacefully. She was shivering and her teeth were almost chattering.

He got out of bed and, upon finding and grabbing a sweatshirt, came and knelt on the floor in front of her side of the bed. "Case, put this on."

She stirred, eyes fluttering but not quite opening, and groaned.

"Come on; I'll help you." He pulled the blankets, which were up to her chin, back.

"C-c-cold." She trembled as he maneuvered her into the sweatshirt.

"I know, honey, you're burning up. How do you feel?"

She groaned again and he used his free hand to pull the covers back up. " Like shit."

"OK," he murmured, rubbing her arms through the blanket, hoping to help generate some warmth. "I’m gonna call Johnny.”

***

JC opened the door to allow Johnny, Dara, and Dr. Clifford Lofton into the room. Dr. Cliff, as he was generally called, was already familiar with the members of *NSYNC and whenever there was a health related issue while they were in or around Los Angeles, he was their go-to medical professional. He treated a lot of celebrities and in addition to being discreet, he made house--and hotel--calls.

JC shook his hand and they exchanged brief pleasantries while heading over to Casey's huddled mass on the bed.

“I could tell she wasn’t feeling great last night,” Dara said in a hushed voice.

Casey had woken up the previous morning feeling achy and exhausted, but with an evening show she had little choice but to power through. As Dara pointed out, it was also clear to JC that by the time she’d hit the stage she was only operating at about seventy percent, and as soon as her set was over she collapsed onto a soft surface backstage and stayed there until it was time to leave for the airport.

The Blockbuster Entertainment Awards were being held in L.A. at the Shrine Auditorium that evening, and they’d flown in immediately following the previous night’s show. Casey slept for the hour-long flight and, after a shower, had gone straight to sleep once they’d made it to their hotel.

“I’m going to make a few phone calls; I’ll be back in a few minutes.” With her phone in hand, Dara left the hotel room.

“How long has she had a fever?” Dr. Cliff emerged from the bathroom, drying his hands on a small white towel.

"Um, I don’t really know.” JC absently rubbed at the back of his neck. “But she feels like a furnace and it woke me up."

The doctor walked over her side of the bed and clicked on the bedside lamp. "Casey, I’m Dr. Cliff." He pulled the sheets and blankets back. “I’m going to take your temperature.”

She mumbled incoherently before trying to pull the bedding back up around her.

"Casey,” he repeated. “Can you sit up for me?”

With a deep sigh she opened her eyes, keeping them narrowed against the low light. "I feel like garbage," she muttered.

Dr. Cliff laughed. "Well that's why I'm here. I'm going to do my best to make you feel better." He pulled some pillows up behind her so that she could lean back against them. "Can you tell me exactly what feels bad?"

He pulled a thermometer strip from his black bag. As she talked, he pulled off the plastic covering the adhesive back and stuck the strip to her forehead . After pushing one of her sleeves back and placing with one finger on a pulse point, he consulted his watch.

"Everything," she croaked. "My head, my body. And it tastes weird when I swallow."

The salt and pepper haired doctor nodded and reached for the paper strip on her head. "Well, you've got a fever of a hundred and three point two. That's not dangerously high, but it's high enough. I know you're cold, but we need to get you out of that heavy shirt and into something lighter weight.”

She groaned and JC came closer. “Sorry; I helped her into it. She was shivering so… She has a tank top under it.”

“Despite the fact that you feel cold when you have a fever, it’s best not to do anything to raise your body temperature even more.” Dr. Cliff peeled the strip off of her forehead. “Help me get her out of this.”

JC stepped forward and together they pulled the sweatshirt off of her.  

Johnny approached JC and pulled out his cell phone. "I’m going to do some maneuvering so I can get you in a different room."

"I'm not leaving her alone," JC interrupted with a scowl. "She's sick."

The older man smiled slightly. "I wasn't planning on just leaving her to be sick by herself. But you also probably don't need to spend another night here. You don't need to get sick either."

"I'm not leaving," JC repeated defiantly, sitting at the foot of the bed. "And besides, if whatever she has is contagious, I already have it.”

“JC,” Johnny began.

Before he could finish, JC cut him off. “It’s bad enough that I have to leave her to go to the Awards tonight, Johnny. You can’t stop me from staying with her until it’s time for me to get ready to go.”

Johnny stared at him for a moment before shaking his head. “Suit yourself, JC. I’ll check in with you later.”

JC stared after his manager moodily as the older man left the room.

“I’m pretty sure it’s just a virus,” Dr. Cliff said. “The good news is, you’ll mostly likely feel better in a couple of days. The bad news is, aside from treating the symptoms, there’s not much else I can do. You need to stay hydrated and, even if you don’t have much of an appetite, you need to try to eat a little here and there.”

JC patted Casey’s legs gently. “We’ll make sure she’s taken care of.”

The Dr. smiled at JC before rooting around in his bag.  “I can give you a vitamin shot which will just help to boost your immune system even quicker. And demerol will take away the pain for at least a little while.”

Even in her not-fully-aware state, Casey caught the way JC’s eyes widened at the mention of a shot and she smiled. “You don’t have to stay for that, ‘C.”

He smiled sheepishly. “I’ll...go get ice or something. ”

“It’ll be quick,” Dr. Clif said, rummaging through his back again.

***

Dara returned to the room just as JC was leaving and she waited on the sofa until Dr. Cliff had finished with Casey’s shots.

“All right,” he said as he re-packed his bag. “I think we’re all done in here. Like I said before, you need to stay hydrated. And other than that, get lots of rest. I’m leaving some extra strength acetaminophen, which you can take every four to six hours for the pain. ”

“How long do you think she’ll be out of commission?” Dara asked. “She’s got a show on Friday night.”

The doctor shrugged a little. “There’s no way to tell for sure, but the more rest she gets between now and then, the more likely she’ll be OK to perform.” He switched his bag to his other hand and reached out to shake Casey’s. “Despite the circumstances, it was nice to meet you, Casey. If you need anything else before you leave L.A. be sure to let me know.”

“Thank you, Dr. Cliff.” She shook his hand and he left the hotel room.

***

JC depressed the button to dispense ice into the bucket. He was practically sulking and well aware of it.  He’d been looking forward to attending the Blockbuster Awards with Casey. The idea of asking her had come to him on a whim. The whole issue of navigating the gray area of a relationship that was official, but only behind closed doors, was a new one for him. It was also a new experience to be dating someone who was not only in the industry, but becoming as well-known as he was. After talking it over with their respective managers, they decided that she would be his unofficial plus one. Unofficial meaning they wouldn’t be walking the red carpet together, but she would be sitting with him--and the rest of *NSYNC--during the show.

With a frown on his face, he grabbed the filled bucket and made his way back down the hall.

***

“How are you feeling now?” Dara asked.

Casey shifted further down below the covers and closed her eyes. “Better, actually. Just really tired.” As if emphasizing her point, she yawned loudly.

“Well, I’ve already cancelled your press and appearances for the next couple of days, so you can sleep all you want.” Dara smiled down at her client.

“Mmm, that’ll be good,” Casey mumbled. Several seconds passed and her eyes opened suddenly. “Hey, you’re not coming back out on the road with us, are you?”

Dara snorted. “Nope, I told you L.A. was my last stop and I meant it. You should be excited.”

Casey smiled sheepishly. “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s not been bad having you out, actually.”

“I’ll take not bad over terrible,” the older woman laughed.

“Thanks, Dara,” Casey said seriously. “For everything.”

Dara stared back at her in pleased surprise, but before she could respond the hotel door opened. JC came in and, after setting down the filled ice bucket, walked back toward the bed.  

“Perfect timing,” Dara said. “I was just leaving. Casey, I’ll be around the hotel for a little bit longer but I have a meeting in a couple of hours. “I’ve spoken with Genevieve and she’ll be around to check in on you while everyone’s at the show tonight. I gave her a keycard so you don’t have to get up.”

“Thank you.” Casey’s eyes had closed again.

Dara patted JC’s shoulder as she walked out. “Take good care of her, JC.”

He smiled and sat down on the bed next to Casey. “You feeling any better?” He touched her cheek gingerly.

She opened her eyes and nodded slowly. “I know you don’t like needles, but whatever was in those two shots Dr. Cliff gave me was magical. I think I may love him.”

He laughed softly. “I’m glad. You should get some sleep, then.”

She squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry about tonight.”

“So am I,” he murmured. “Maybe I should just stay here with you.”

“Right, so Johnny can shit ten thousand bricks.” Casey scoffed.

“We’re not performing tonight, and no one will care if I’m there to present one award.”

“You’re delusional, ‘C. If all of *NSYNC isn’t exactly where they’re supposed to be, all together, you’re going to have a bunch of pissed off fans. And besides, aren’t you up for a couple of awards?”

“Four out of five is good enough. And I can’t help it if I suddenly got sick.”

She grinned. “But you didn’t.”

“But no one else knows that.” He coughed twice. “See? I think I’m coming down with something.”

She smiled again before closing her eyes. “You probably should listen to Johnny and let him put you in another room,” she whispered. “I’d hate to be the reason you got sick for real. Especially since we only have two more nights off.”

He leaned in and kissed her forehead. “Like I told him, if it’s contagious, I already got it. Aren’t you most contagious when you have a fever? Or right before? Because, if you’ll recall, the night before last we were--”

“I know what we were doing the night before last,” she giggled, interrupting him.

“I’m just saying,” he continued with a grin, “as close I’ve been to you, if I’m gonna get sick, it’s too late to stop it.”

“What time do you have to leave?”

He looked down at his watch. “I don’t know exactly, but I should probably jump in the shower now; we have a radio deal soon, and I think we’re doing some pre-show junket thing after that.”

“Hmm.” Casey yawned and closed her eyes again. “Go be a super famous popstar tonight. Have lots of fun, take lots of pictures, and tell me all about it later.”

He kissed her forehead again and sat back. “I’ll go, but I won’t have fun thinking about you being here.”

“Sure you will,” she mumbled.

He smiled and, seeing that she was already practically asleep, got up to take a shower.

***

JC let his head fall back against the elevator wall and closed his eyes.

“Tired, ‘C?” Dre asked. “It’s only eleven o’clock.”

Eyes still closed, JC smiled at his bodyguard. “It’s been a long day.”

It had been nonstop since they’d left the hotel earlier in the afternoon. Less than an hour after JC’s shower, *NSYNC was taken to the KIIS-FM studio. They joined the already in-progress broadcast to answer questions from callers on-air, as well as to help give away tickets and meet-and-greet passes for their upcoming Los Angeles concert date. After that they’d gone on to do several interviews with various media outlets. Due to its proximity to the theatre, and the fact that many of the entertainers that would be part of the show were staying there, all press was handled in the same hotel where *NSYNC was staying.

Following that, JC had managed a brief check-in on Casey before he had to get ready for the awards. Upon arrival to the auditorium, *NSYNC spent quite a bit of time posing for pictures on the red carpet and answering more questions shouted at them from the other side of the flashing cameras. At one point, he thought he’d seen AnaBeth Carvalho further down the winding carpet, but when he’d looked again, she was gone, and he’d attributed it to his imagination.

The elevator dinged, signaling their arrival on the proper floor and once the door opened they exited into the hallway.

“You good to get to your room without me?” Dre asked, smirking down at JC.

JC grinned. “Yeah, I think I can handle it from here.”

Thanks in part to the other celebrities staying at the hotel because of the awards show, they were on a floor that hotel security had cordoned off; there was almost zero chance he’d run into a fan--overzealous or otherwise--walking alone down the hallway. The two men went separate ways, JC to his room and, he assumed, Dre to his.

He was rounding the corner when he heard his name. He turned at the sound of the familiar voice. It must not have been his imagination at the theatre, because there she stood...in the flesh.

She was strikingly beautiful, as always. The chartreuse lace mini-dress fit her like a second skin. At least up to the point where it abruptly stopped several inches above the middle of a thigh impeccably toned and tightened by design of a personal trainer. Her royal blue stilettos were sky high, accentuating the slim muscles of her legs and calves. Her caramel locks were perfectly coiffed loose waves cascading around narrow shoulders and defined collarbone.

As he stood with his eyes on her, and something approaching anxiety in his stomach, she approached him swiftly, not ever misstepping in the impossibly high heels.

***

Casey sat up and flipped on the light. She lifted the top off the ice bucket to see that the ice was melted. She took a swig from the room temperature water bottle and though it somewhat slaked her thirst, what she wanted more than anything in that moment was a drink that was icy and cold.

She glanced at the clock. 11PM. JC had called once, earlier, saying that he was going to try to get back early. She didn’t know when the show ended, so she had no idea what early meant. Still, she figured, it couldn’t be much longer, and she briefly considered waiting for him to return and letting him take care of refilling the bucket. Then again, it could be.

With an audible groan she heaved herself into a standing position. The fever, she was sure, had mostly broken. That was good, and totally explained why she was so absolutely thirsty. It also explained why she was feeling weak and so absolutely wobbly on her feet. Still, going to refill the ice bucket was a better alternative to waiting JC out. Depending on who he started talking to, it could very well be hours before he returned.

She glanced at the phone, thinking of calling Genevieve  to get the ice for her; she’d checked on her off and on all evening, making sure she was at least drinking in between all of the sleeping. But being bedridden all day had left her feeling antsy, and she decided to stretch her legs a bit.

She grabbed a hoodie that was slung over the back of a chair, not caring that it was JC’s and several sizes too big for her. She tied a bandana over her unruly hair, slid her feet into a pair of flip flops, grabbed her keycard and, after emptying it, the ice bucket. With that, she opened the hotel room door and headed out and down the hall.

***

She stood in front of him smiling expectantly.

JC took a half step away from her. "AnaBeth, what are you doing here?" he asked not unkindly.

“I wanted to speak with you at the awards tonight, but…” One corner of a sensuous red lip curled upward and she shrugged. “I found out you were staying here. I wanted to see you.”

“Why?” He couldn’t keep the skepticism off of his face or out of his voice.

With no warning or ceremony she flung herself into his arms. Though the action caught him by surprise, JC held onto her which prevented her from toppling over.

"I miss you," she whispered huskily in his ear. Without another word, she brought her austerely manicured hands to his cheeks and pressed her lips to his.

***

She would recognize him anywhere, Casey thought, as she stood there dazedly. His hair, his stance. Everything about him was as familiar to her as, well, herself. As cliched as it was to admit it. She didn’t know when it happened, but it had.

She couldn't see the woman at first, but his arms were clearly around her. And as for her, her hands were quite familiarly on the back of his neck. And they were quite obliviously attached at the lips.

She wanted to say something but for the moment all she could do was stare. She felt something she couldn't quite identify. She supposed, in a hazy sort of way, that she should probably be furious. But in the moment, vague disgust was all she could muster up.

After a second that seemed more like several long hours, Casey cleared her throat loudly and JC very abruptly pulled away from the mystery woman. He spun around, simultaneously letting go of his hold on the woman and almost knocking her over, and faced Casey with an expression of equal parts guilt and shock.

"I take it you had fun tonight after all, huh," she said flatly. Her eyes flickered back to the woman who was now standing behind and slightly to one side of him, and she smiled. It all made sense.

"Casey. How come you’re out of bed?” He cringed inwardly at the stupidity of the question.

He approached her apprehensively, his face cycling through several shades of red. “This isn’t--” He stopped, swallowed hard. The predictable words momentarily stuck on his tongue. “It’s not what it looks like.”

"Hmm," Casey said mildly, looking beyond him to the beautiful woman who was blithely dabbing at her still-perfect lipstick. "Looks like you ran into your ex-girlfriend. So to speak."

Only then did she meet Casey's gaze. The expression she wore fell somewhere between self-satisfied and self-righteous. She nodded in Casey's direction.

"Casey Whitaker. I am AnaBeth Carvalho. But I presume you already knew that."

"You presume correctly," Casey replied sweetly after a pause. She looked down at the wrist of her sweatshirt, realizing that JC was pulling on it.

"Casey, listen--"

She pulled out of his grasp and thrust the ice bucket at him. "I'm tired. If you plan on coming back to the room tonight, bring ice and we can talk. Otherwise..." Her eyes flitted back to AnaBeth. She waved her hand vaguely. "I'll be in bed." With that, she turned and headed back down the hall.

"Casey, wait--" JC began to follow her, but stopped short and turned back. "AnaBeth,” he looked at her questioningly, “I don't know what that was all about, but I need to go talk to her.”

Before he could walk away she lay a hand on his arm. “Wait, por favor. I just…”

He took a deep breath and ran the hand not holding the ice bucket through his hair. Casey hadn’t seemed angry when she walked away, but he was anxious to explain things to her. And, he figured, the longer he stayed in the hallway, the more time she had to get mad. “You just what?” he asked somewhat impatiently.

“I wanted to see you,” she said quietly.

“You already said that.” He watched as she readjusted the short dress so that it covered more of her thighs. His eyes narrowed and his cheeks flushed again. “Why did you kiss me?”

“You are involved with her now? Casey Whitaker?"

“Yes,” he said shortly. “And you didn’t answer my question.”

She smiled wanly. “I made a mistake. Giving you an ultimatum, demanding you do something you weren’t ready to do.”  She trailed off and looked back up at him.  “She is beautiful, but young. Muito. That is not what you usually like.”

The note of derision in the way AnaBeth referred to Casey rankled him and he frowned. “What I like or don’t like is none of your business, Ana--”

“I have been thinking of you lately. Very much,” she interrupted. “When I saw you earlier this evening at the theatre, alone, I hoped…” Her gaze dropped and she looked embarrassed.

“You hoped. What?” He stared back at her incredulously. “Aren’t you engaged?”

For a moment she stared back at him abashed, which wasn’t an emotion he was used to seeing on her. She blinked quickly, pulled her dress down again, and the self-contained smile he was used to returned. She cleared her throat. “I was.”

When she said nothing else he raked his fingers through his hair. “What the hell, AnaBeth? You dumped me, remember? Almost a year ago. And in all that time I haven’t heard anything from you. Did you think I was waiting around for you?“

“Not waiting, no.” She sighed. “I simply hoped there was still a chance for us.” Her gaze dropped and she fiddled with the bottom of her dress. “As I said, breaking up with you was a mistake.”

JC snorted. “I have to go.” He turned to leave when AnaBeth spoke again.

“Are you serious about her? Casey?”

JC blinked slowly. Although that was also none of her business and he didn’t owe her a response, he considered the question thoroughly before answering. “Yes,” he said quietly. “I am.” As the words came from his mouth, he realized they were true. And it made him even more impatient to end the conversation with his ex-girlfriend.

“Hmm.” Her smile was small and sad. “And if you were not serious about her, would you have given me another chance?”

JC sighed again. “We had a good time, AnaBeth. I cared about you. But what you wanted--” He stopped and exhaled, softening toward her. “I wasn’t ever going to be the guy to put a ring on your finger and promise you forever. So you breaking up with me wasn’t a mistake, OK?”

She nodded slowly.

“I need to get back to Casey now. Take care of yourself, AnaBeth.” He glanced at her once more before turning and practically running down the hall to his room.

***

She was fucking gorgeous. Casey couldn’t even deny it. She was maybe a little too thin, and it was all but obvious that her slightly-too-big for her frame cleavage was surgically enhanced. But that was petty. And considering the nearly three years he had been with her, JC clearly didn’t care. So all that she was left with was the fact that AnaBeth Carvalho was fucking gorgeous.

Her perfect face held very little makeup, but her skin was flawless and the little bit she wore only accentuated what she was naturally blessed with.

Casey closed her eyes and sank deeper into the cushy bed. She wasn’t insecure about her looks, or anything as mundane as that. She knew she was cute. Small, upturned nose. Perfectly shaped full lips. Almond shaped eyes the color of cognac, beset by long eyelashes. DNA had gifted her with almost perfectly straight and even white teeth. It also gave her the dimple in her left cheek that punctuated every smile. Her body...well, she could always pick out flaws if she fixated on it for long enough. But hours of dance practice, and a personal trainer when she wasn’t on the road, kept her in the type of physical shape that she knew a lot of women would kill for.

But she was no AnaBeth Carvalho. Wasn’t even in the vicinity. And while she didn’t want it to trouble her, it did. Which wasn’t fair, because JC was no longer with AnaBeth Carvalho; he was with her. Of course, an acerbic voice in her head reminded her, that was because she had dumped him. And what would it mean, she wondered, if AnaBeth decided that she wanted him back?

The click of the door unlocking pulled Casey out of her thoughts and she sat up, pulling the comforter around her. She looked up as JC rushed into the room.

“Hi,” he said, sounding slightly out of breath.

“Hi,” she echoed quietly. “Did you get ice?”

He glanced down at the empty bucket in his hand as if seeing it for the first time. “No, sorry. I forgot.”

“Yeah, well you were otherwise occupied.” She shrugged.

“Casey,” he began moving closer to the bed, “it wasn’t what it looked like.”

“You said that already.”

“Baby...” JC set the ice bucket down before sitting heavily on the edge of the bed. “She showed up out of nowhere. And she kissed me out of nowhere. And that’s what you saw--her kissing me, OK?”

He stared at her plaintively, running his hands through his hair. “Say something, Casey. Please?”

She inhaled slowly, expression blank. “I really wish you’d remembered the ice.”

He rolled his eyes and groaned and she shrugged again. “What do you want me to say?”

“Something honest would be nice.” He continued to gaze at her seriously.

“I honestly wish you’d remembered the ice,” she muttered.

“Casey--”

“What?” She threw her hands up. “Why is she here? What did she want...aside from the obvious?”

He blew out a breath as he shrugged out of his distressed denim jacket. “She was at the show earlier and she found out I was staying here. She wanted to...talk or something, I guess.”

Casey snorted. “Heavy emphasis on the or something of course.”

JC balled up the jacket and tossed into an empty chair before pulling off his shoes. “We were talking and then she just…” He shook his head, face screwed up in confusion, and got onto the bed next to Casey. “She threw herself at me. Literally. One second she was standing in front of me and then she just--”

“Yeah, I saw what she did next,” Casey deadpanned.

“But I mean there was no warning or anything. I asked her why she was here and she said she wanted to see me and then she just like, threw herself at me and kissed me. You walked up right after. The whole thing was literally three seconds from start to finish.”

“And what about after I left? Was there more talking or more...something?” Casey glanced at him sideways before picking at the sleeve of her sweatshirt.

With a heavy sigh he turned toward her, sitting cross-legged. “There was only talking after you left, Case. And not all that much of it.”

She nodded, and although she felt his eyes on her she didn’t look up. “What’d you talk about?”

He was quiet for a moment, absently chewing a fingernail while looking uncomfortable. “Nothing important.” He looked up at her to see her looking back at him skeptically and he took hold of her hands.

“Liar,” she said quietly. “Did she decide she wants you back?”

He grunted a little bit and nodded. “Something like that, but it doesn’t matter ‘cause I don’t want her back.”

She pulled her hands out of his and crossed them over her chest. “Well if you do, don’t let me stop you.”

“Casey.” He made a face.

“I’m just saying, you were with her for a long time. And if you want to be with her again--”

“I don’t,” he said testily. “I didn’t want to kiss her, and I don’t want to be with her.”

“OK,” she said, the blank expression from earlier having returned.

“OK?” he repeated. “So you believe me? And that’s it?”

“I believe you. And that’s it. And can you please go get some ice now? I’m really thirsty.” She reclined against the pillows and closed her eyes.

Several seconds past with JC watching her intently. Finally he stood up and grabbed the bucket from it’s spot on the bedside table. “Sure. I’ll be right back.”

“So the whole world is watching Britney and Justin, Joey’s taken, and Lance and Chris are both single and taking resumes. So that leaves you, JC? Is there a special lady in your life?”

He caught Justin’s smirk out of the corner of his eye and said a silent prayer of thanks that the radio interview was a call-in and not taking place in-studio. He knew they were coming around to this topic, and that he probably wouldn’t get out of answering, but he wasn’t sure what to say. Thankfully, the DJ couldn’t see the expression on his face.

He’d still not taken Justin’s advice to have an honest conversation with Casey, and the more time passed the more it seemed unlikely to happen. She was a little quiet sometimes, seemingly deep in thought about things he could only guess at, but other than that things were great between the two of them. And as for the way she acted with him in public, the tour schedule as of late had left them with little time for any sort of public outings so it no longer seemed like such a big deal.

Or maybe, a little voice spoke up in the back of his head, he was just being a coward.

After making a face at Justin, he cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah, I’m seeing someone.”

“That’s vague,” the DJ snickered. “What’s her name? Do we know her?”

JC chuckled nervously. “She, uh, you know, she’s got her own thing going on and she wants to stay out of the craziness of what I have going on so...”

“So it won’t be a thing like Britney and Justin then?” the DJ quipped. “She’s not like, Angelina Jolie or some other mega superstar actress, is she?”

“She’s not Angelina Jolie or an actress,” JC laughed. “And no, it won’t be a thing like Britney and Justin.” That was, he thought, hopefully not too close to a lie. For what it was worth, no matter how public they ever became, he couldn’t picture Casey ever stopping to pose on red carpets holding hands with him.

“But it’s hard right? Because it’s not just a normal long distance relationship,” the DJ continued. “Because normally you could just fly to wherever she is, or she could fly to you. How do you guys handle the distance when you’re touring and all of that?”

“JC handles it really well actually,” Chris offered with a straight face.

JC flipped him off as Lance answered the question. “Lots of phone calls, and emails, and text messages. Technology definitely makes things easier nowadays.”

“Yeah,” Joey interjected, “and you know, you grab a flight when there’s a couple of days off. You have to be creative to make it work, but you do it when it’s important.”

JC had found some creative workarounds to the distance with past girlfriends, but he was glad to not have to deal with it. He’d almost forgotten what it was like to be in a relationship with someone who was regularly in his vicinity. He smiled to himself, relaxing as the DJ took the interview in a different direction.

***

Every few days Christoff handed Casey a few large bundles of letters and cards and packages. She never gave much thought to how whomever handled her fan mail made sure it got to whichever hotel they were staying in, but she liked that it reached her. Reading and responding to fan mail was one of her favorite ways to pass the hours on the road.

The package she’d gotten that morning hadn’t come through Christoff. It had been couriered straight to her at the hotel which meant whoever sent it knew where she was staying. That fact was maybe a little bit weird, and somewhere in the back of her mind it registered and lodged there. But she came just short of processing it. Besides, the rectangular brown paper package was intriguing.

She turns it over in her hand, noticing there’s no return address. Her curiosity is piqued and she begins to unwrap it, ripping the packaging but being careful not to damage what’s beneath it. It’s a book of sorts, spiral bound with no title on the cover. She flips through a few pages and an index card falls out. She recognizes his handwriting immediately. Small, neat, straight lines that look as if he used a ruler to shape his letters. She reads the note, unease growing in her stomach.

Casey I wanted you to read it first. You know, make sure I got everything right. And you know what they say: all publicity is good publicity.

Her heart pounds a staccato rhythm she can feel all the way in her throat and her fingers are trembling. The first page is about him. Who he is. Where he’s from. How he came to do what he does for a living. The writing is awkward, filled with punctuation errors and fragmented sentences. But still, she reads on.

She flips forward, skimming, stopping when she sees her name. He’s detailed when they met the first time. When they met again after that. How she went home with him.

Her breath comes in dry gasps as everything around her darkens. All she can see are black words on off-white pages.

It’s all there in explicit detail. Except not really, because the details, while gratuitously explicit, aren’t remotely accurate.

He’s detailed things she never did. Things she never let him do. And she wasn’t the pursuer. Which is how he’s made it sound. Like she chased him down. Never mind the fact that he’s significantly older than her and way more experienced. Was twenty five to her eighteen. But he was insistent and she was flattered. And newly eighteen. But according to these filthy words she was the seductress who wouldn’t take no for an answer.

She flips forward twenty or so pages. But it’s more of the same. Forty or so more. And it’s how she liked to have sex more than he did. How she was insatiable. How she especially liked doing it in almost public places, where other people could possibly hear or see her. How she likes it rough, bordering on sadism.

The more pages she goes through, the more lies she reads. He talks about the rappers she’s sung for, and the ones who’ve guested on her tracks. He doesn’t come right out and say it, but the implication that she likely fucked all of them is strong. Fucked them for tracks.

Some pages after that he describes how distant she became, all of a sudden. How unavailable she is. And how she’s hanging around with Justin Timberlake all of the time. After soundchecks. Before shows. And several nights after concerts, she never makes it back to their shared hotel room. Suggests that she had to be sleeping somewhere, but maybe Justin would know more about that.

But it’s all lies. All complete and utter fabricated bullshit.

She drops the manuscript, fingers shaking so badly she can’t hold it anymore. And she’s cold. Teeth-chatteringly, bone-numbingly frigid. And her clothes feel too constricting and the air feels too thick and her head is swimming.

She slides her back along the wall, lands in a seated position, and stares at the offending pages a few inches in front of her.

Now comes the nausea. It’s huge and overpowering and filling her nostrils as well as her throat. She scrambles to the bathroom, drops to her knees in front of the toilet, and dry heaves for the next ten minutes. Nothing comes up but her stomach is cramping and her head is hurting something fierce.

She forces herself to breathe. Slow and steady. In. 1-2-3-4-5. Out. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10.

When she’s positive she won’t lose the lunch she hasn’t even yet eaten, she picks herself up off the floor and carefully makes her way over to where her bag is near the door.

“Dara!” She’s yelling as soon as her manager’s voice sounds on the other end of the line. “I have to...we have to...Now. He can’t--”

“Casey, calm down,” Dara is saying. “What’s wrong? What happened? I’m sending a car for you.”

The offices of Hammond Management occupied a chunk of the thirtieth floor of a downtown Los Angeles high rise. As promised, Dara had sent a car to pick Casey up from her hotel, and the younger woman had arrived with the manuscript. As Dara read, Casey alternated pacing the immaculately designed office, pausing in front of the wall of floor-to-ceiling windows which offered a spectacular view of downtown, and muttering expletives under her breath.

“He can’t do this, can he? He can’t possibly.” She turned and walked the length of the dark mahogany floor in the other direction. “It’s not even fucking true!”

Dara flipped through the book once more before setting it on the glass table in front of her. “Casey,” she began mildly, “first of all, calm down. You’re angry and you have every right to be, and I’m angry too. But calm down, OK? Because I don’t need you to react and do something--”

“Fuck me!” Casey swore, before collapsing onto the oval-shaped couch on the other side of the coffee table. “Fuck! I was so motherfucking stupid.” She raked at her hair violently, causing various strands to stick up and out and every which way. She inhaled and exhaled sharply, shaking as she tried to sort through her emotions.

“Casey, please. You have to calm down,” Dara repeated.

“Fine,” Casey muttered, fingers clenched so tightly she may have been drawing blood. “I’m calm.”

Dara eyed her client skeptically for a moment before standing and striding purposely toward her desk. “I’m going to call Jeff first so we can figure this out, OK?” She picked up her Blackberry and began pushing buttons.

Casey sighed at the mention of her business attorney. “If you need to call Jeff it’s serious.” She hunched over, cradling her head in her hands. “He can’t do this, Dara.This can’t come out. My parents, my brother...they can’t know anything about this. My career will be over. I’ll be a joke and a...a…” Her eyes were red-rimmed, face stricken.

Dara set the device back on the desk and came back over to Casey, sitting down next to her. “Tony isn’t going to do anything,” Dara said resolutely. “You have my word on that. You’ve worked too hard for that son of a bitch to come in and destroy it.”

Despite the roiling in her stomach, Casey couldn’t help but crack a smile. She had no idea son of a bitch was in her manager’s verbal repertoire.

Dara patted her leg comfortingly. “Casey, it’s my job to protect your career, and I’m going to do that. I know it’s easier said than done, but try to relax. You don’t have a show tonight so enjoy your time off and try not to think about this.”

Casey sighed again. “I’ll try.”

“There’s one more thing,” Dara said slowly, sitting up straight.

“What’s that?” Casey eyed her manager cautiously.

“I think you and JC should keep a low profile for a while longer, just in case.”

Casey let her head fall back against the couch and groaned. “What’s lower than non-existent? Thanks to being sick the other day, I missed out on going with him to the Blockbuster Awards. We haven’t been out in public alone in a couple of weeks. And we also haven’t made it public that we’re together--which he’s none too pleased about, by the way. What else is there?”

Dara tapped the spiral-bound book. “Right now, everything Tony says about you and Justin can be chalked up to the jealousy of a spurned lover. And since it’s not true, there’s no proof. But all it takes is one picture of you and JC together--even an innocent one, one person’s eye-witness account of the two of you acting in a way that’s more than platonic and suddenly, what he’s saying maybe has some merit. And maybe this book, which no one cares about at this point, becomes more interesting.”

Casey rolled her eyes but said nothing.

Dara continued. “Maybe you should tell JC about the book.”

“No,” Casey said swiftly.

“If he knows about the book, he--”

“There’s no way in hell I’m telling him about that book, Dara!” Casey interrupted heatedly.

“But if he knows about it,” Dara persisted, “he’ll understand why it’s important for you to continue to keep the details of your private life very private--”

“I’m not telling him,” Casey repeated stonily. “You said you’re going to take care of it, so I shouldn’t have to, right?”

Dara sighed. “I am going to take care of it. But I still think, since he’s your boyfriend and all, you should be honest with him.”

Casey grunted. “Nothing about that book is honest so not saying anything is probably the better option in that case.”

Dara raised an eyebrow and stood up again. “I’m going to call Jeff now. The car’s waiting for you downstairs. I’ll be in touch before you leave the city.”

Casey nodded and stood. “OK, thanks. Dara, just…” She trailed off.

“We’re going to make sure Tony’s filth doesn’t ever see the light of day,” Dara replied calmly. “I promise.”

***

Casey trudged down the hall to her room with leaden steps. She’d splashed cold water on her face before leaving Dara’s office, and she hoped it was good enough to mask the fact that she’d been crying. She was pissed at herself for crying in the first place; even while understanding that her tears were borne out of frustration, they made her feel weak. Everything about every part of her relationship with Tony had always made her feel weak, and she hated the fact that he still elicited that response in her.

While she knew that Dara’s word was as good as gold, what ifs plagued her mind. What if he managed to publish the piece of shit pseudo-book? Even with all of the piss poor grammar and misspelled words, it was salacious, and people loved salacious. What if people believed it?

It would, she thought with a bit of macabre humor, solve the issue of JC wanting to publicly acknowledge their relationship. She rolled her eyes. There was no way his manager or their shared label would let the squeaky clean member of the squeaky clean boyband admit to being in a relationship with the whore of Babylon. And if that book got out, she was moderately sure that was what people would think of her.

If he even wanted to continue in a relationship with her.

Perhaps, she thought bitterly, AnaBeth’s surprise visit two nights ago had been perfect. If she and JC broke up, at least there was someone waiting in the wings to make sure he wasn’t too distracted by loneliness.

She plastered a smile on her face and slipped her keycard out of the front of her hoodie and into the lock. It flashed green as she pulled it out. She turned the handle and pushed the door open.

“Hey!” JC called. “I was wondering where you--” He stopped short and looked at her. “What’s wrong, Casey?”

Still grinning brightly, she wrapped her arms around his waist. “Nothing.”

After a brief kiss he pulled back. “You’re lying; I can tell you’ve been crying. What happened?”

She made a face and walked away from him to plop down onto the bed. “Nothing happened. I’m fine.” She used the remote to turn on the TV and flipped through channels until he stood in front of her. She glared at up at him. “What?”

JC crossed his arms over his chest and glared right back down at her. He’d been prepared to let it go, was fully planning on it. If she didn’t want to talk about whatever it was that keeping her up nights, whatever it was that had her whispering with her manager backstage, he would pretend not to notice and let it go. But the expression on her face, the one she’d tried to hide behind a smile, prevented him from being able to do that.

“What did Tony do?” he asked. The steadiness of his voice belied the nervousness he felt at bringing it up so bluntly.

Casey’s eyes widened and she stared back at him wordlessly.

“Don’t tell me it doesn’t have anything to do with him, either. I heard Dara telling you backstage to let her worry about him. What was she talking about?” He pushed his hair back and knelt down in front of her, bracing himself on the edge of the bed. “I really wish you would trust me enough to be honest with me.”

His blue eyes gazed into her brown ones intently, as is if he could find the answers he wanted there. As she stared back at him nakedly, he was certain that she was afraid of something. But just as quickly as the emotion flashed on her face, she became guarded again and her expression turned unreadable. And he knew, before she even opened her mouth, that whatever came next would not be entirely true.

“I do trust you.” With soft sigh Casey dropped the remote to the side and leaned forward, placing her hands on JC’s shoulders. “What you heard backstage a few nights back was nothing. I asked Dara if he’d given anymore radio interviews like the one in Detroit and she told me not to obsess over him and to let her handle it.

“And I guess I have been a bit. Obsessing, I mean. Just, you know, what he said about Justin and me. If that got out, half your fans would hate me on general principle and the other half would hate me for being a homewrecking whore on account of him and Britney.” She shrugged as a nervous chuckle escaped her lips.

“But what if,” JC began softly, “it gets out that Justin isn’t the one you’re involved with? That the only member of *NSYNC you’ve ever been involved with is me. Then Tony’s exposed as the liar he is, and we can stop hiding.”

She blinked a few times before looking away from him. “We’re not hiding, JC. The people who count, know about us. And the people who don’t know, don’t count. And as for Tony…” She shook her head and scowled. “Fuck Tony.”

She cupped JC’s face between her hands and touched her nose to his. “Do you remember back in...I don’t know, I think we were in Texas. We were planning to go out as like our first official date, but we ended up eating in the restaurant downstairs in the hotel?”

He remembered the night in question as well as the restaurant, but what he remembered most fondly was the pale yellow lingerie she’d worn. It was the first time he’d seen her in it and it had immediately become one of his favorites.

He smirked and kissed her. “Yeah, I remember that.”

“Let’s do that again,” she said.

“Hmm, do you mean the part in the mirror or…?”

She giggled and kissed him again. “We can’t go out, but what if we make reservations for the restaurant downstairs tonight? It’s been awhile since we hung out alone, outside of a hotel room. We can pretend to be a normal couple for a couple of hours.”  

JC nodded and decided to, for the moment, push thoughts of Tony and the previous conversation to the back of his mind. “I think that’s a great idea.”

Their planned dinner alone didn’t end up quite the way they expected it to. At the insistence of both Dara and Johnny, Eric accompanied them just as a precaution. The bodyguard sat at a table a few feet away from theirs, not quite inconspicuously, but their dinner still managed to be somewhat private and intimate.

They both relaxed during the meal. For the first time in a couple of weeks, Casey stopped thinking about Tony. And for his part, JC was pleased to see that she was genuinely enjoying herself. They wanted to exist together as a normal couple, with no worries about paparazzi and crazy exes, and for a few hours, they did.

They were finishing up their second bottle of wine when Casey stopped mid-sentence. She looked across the room, squinting. His back was to her as he was walking away, but she was positive it was him. Her blood ran cold and she lost feeling in the her fingertips, nearly dropping the wine glass in her hand.

JC was saying something to her, but she couldn’t hear him. With no word and no warning, she set her glass down and tossed her napkin onto the table. “Be right back,” she mumbled, already stumbling out of her seat.

He rounded the corner about ahead of her, briskly crossed the carpeted lobby, and stepped through the automatic door toward the courtyard.

Without even thinking about it, she opened her mouth. “Tony!” she shouted, running out of the door behind him.

He turned around slowly, a self-satisfied smirk on his face. “Casey. Good to see you again.”

She blinked slowly and for one instance, stopped moving, an intense feeling of sickness creeping up on her. He looked the same. The same full of shit expression on his face. But this time, she felt no fear. She wanted nothing more than to knock it straight off of his face--and possibly break a few of his preternaturally straight, white teeth in the process.

She stopped a couple of feet from him and clenched her hands into fists at her side. Her heart beat furiously in her chest as two years’ worth of memories crashed down around her. “What the hell? Are you following me now?” Casey’s eyes were daggers in Tony’s direction.

He snorted and rolled his eyes. “Well, you’re just full of yourself now, aren’t you, Casey?”

“Hey!” JC began, coming around the corner. “Casey, hold on a--” He looked past her and his gaze fell on Tony. “What are you doing here?”

“That’s a great question, Tony. What the fuck are you doing here?” Casey spat.

Tony’s eyes narrowed as he looked between Casey and JC, who had come up behind her. He sneered at JC, before turning his glare to Casey. “And what the fuck are you doing with him?”

“Pretty sure that’s none of your fucking business. Why are you here?” she repeated venomously.

Understanding dawned in Tony’s dark brown eyes and he laughed, throwing his head back. “Oh, I get it.” He nodded, glancing at JC again. “I was right. You are fucking one of these pussy ass white boys. I just had the wrong one. I figured the one who thinks he’s so down would be more your type.”

“Casey, let’s--” JC placed a hand on her shoulder but before he could do much else she sprung just beyond his grasp.

Tony’s mouth was moving, that much she knew. But once he started laughing she could hear nothing but the rush of her own blood in her ears. He had looked at her the same way before. That night. She couldn’t fight back that night; he had made sure of it. But tonight...tonight there was absolutely nothing standing in her way.

Casey’s fist made sharp contact with Tony’s face.

“Casey!” JC exclaimed in shock.

In the next moment Eric, who had come up behind him and Casey unnoticed by anyone, grabbed her around the middle.

“You bitch,” Tony roared, cradling his jaw and lip. Blood was pooling between his fingers from the place where she’d made contact.

“You’re the bitch, motherfucker!!” she yelled back, straining against Eric’s hold on her. “I owe you more than that, asshole. I owe you way the fuck more than that.” Her breath came in heaves as she pushed against the bodyguard. “Let go, Eric!” she yelled.

“Casey.” JC was leaning in close to her ear, speaking calmly and directly. “Calm down. He’s not worth your time, honey. He’s not worth shit.”

“You know what? Fuck you, too, white boy. Fuck you both!” Tony leaned over and spit blood onto the sidewalk beside him.

“Casey, I’m gonna let you go. JC, take her back inside. I’m right behind you,” Eric said quietly, eyes trained on Tony.”

“Come on, Case,” JC said, taking hold of her arm gently. “Let’s go.” She stopped struggling and let him pull her away from Eric.

“Yeah, let her go,” Tony called. “Swing at me again, bitch, and I--”

“You’re gonna turn around and walk away,” Eric said evenly, eyes leveled on Tony. “And you’re not gonna call her out of her name again, either.” He took a menacing step closer to Eric as JC pulled Casey away.

Tony looked at the big man and back at JC’s and Casey’s retreating figures. “She’s not worth shit anyway.” He took a step back from Eric. “Pussy was wack as hell,” he mumbled under his breath.

“I’m not gonna warn you again, man. Do not disrespect her another time.”

Eric didn’t raise his voice, but hackles rose on the back of Tony’s neck.

“Fuck all of you,” he spat. He backed up again and turned around, throwing one more backward glance at Eric before heading away.

***

She was trembling; JC could literally feel her shaking against him. He had one arm around her waist and was using his other arm to hold one of hers. She wasn’t leaning against him exactly, but he still got the very distinct impression that she was only moving because he was guiding her. Other than the harsh and heavy sound of her exhalations, she was silent.

“Casey,” he said quietly, when they had reached the elevator. He looked down at her when she didn’t respond.

Her eyes closed slowly and she dropped her head against him. The tears were forming right behind her eyes, and if she opened her mouth they were undoubtedly going to come down in a torrent. And that was saying nothing of her stomach, roiling with nausea.

He kissed the top of her head and pulled her closer. “It’s going to be OK, honey.”

His voice, so filled with tenderness and care and concern, pulled at every invisible string on her heart. She turned her head into his chest, wrapped her arms around him and began to sob. He pressed her closer and rubbed the back of her head.

“It’s OK, Casey. It’s OK.” He shushed her, and whispered against her hair. The bell dinged as the elevator arrived on the floor. “Come on, honey.” He led her out of elevator, her head still buried against him, body still wracked with her crying.

They reached the door of their hotel room and with one arm still wrapped around her, he maneuvered the keycard out of his back pocket and into the slot with one hand. Once in the room he guided her to the to the loveseat. When they were sitting, she tucked her feet up under her and turned into him, fully leaning against him. He folded her into his arms and held her as she continued to sob.

After several minutes the worst of her crying appeared to be over; she inhaled shakily several times before giving a soft, maudlin chuckle.  “Your sh-sh-shirt,” she sniffled. “It’s soaked and p-p-probably really g-g-gross.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he whispered against the top of her head. “That’s what washing machines are for.”

“I think in this case you may want to throw it away. I’m pretty sure you’re covered in snot right now,” she stated matter-of-factly. He snickered and she sighed heavily. “I’m sorry. About...all of this.”

“Casey,” he began haltingly, “don’t. Tony is the only one who needs to be sorry.” He shook his head and leaned it against the back of the couch. “What the hell was he even doing here?” He was thinking aloud, knowing she didn’t have any more of a clue than he did. He rubbed her back absently.

Casey cradled her face in her hands and sniffled again. “I just--” Before she could finish her sentence a knock sounded at the door.

“It’s probably Eric,” he said, glancing back at the door.

She nodded. “You get it. I need to clean off my face.” She left the couch and headed to the bathroom while JC opened the door.

“She OK?” Eric asked immediately.

After stepping back to allow the bodyguard into the room, he blew out a breath. “Man, I don’t actually know. I guess she’s fine for now. What happened?”

Eric nodded slowly. “He’s gone. I called Everett and he checked; he isn’t registered at the hotel so he must’ve found out she was staying here and came in just to mess with her head.”

JC rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“Hey, I’mma leave you to it,” Eric said. “If you need anything holler.”

JC closed the door behind him just as he heard the bathroom door open. He rubbed his hands over his face and back through his hair, then turned the lights off in the room and went back to the suite’s bedroom.

“Was it Eric?” Casey rummaged through her suitcase which was propped up on a luggage rack.

He stood in the doorway of the room, leaning against the jamb, watching her. “Yeah.”

“What’d he say?” She stripped out of her clothes, tossing them on the floor. Once her bra was disposed of, joining the pile of the rest of her clothes, she grabbed a tank top out of the suitcase and pulled it over her head. She closed the top of it and went over to the bed, pulling the bedcoverings down.

JC made an indistinct sound and moved further into the room. “He’s gone. For now that’s all that matters.”

He unsnapped and unzipped his jeans and pulled them off, tossing his clothes in the pile she had started. His shirt followed and she laughed.

“I’m serious about that shirt. You should trash it.”

He flashed her a brilliant smile and went into the bathroom. “I’m not throwing a shirt away because you cried on it. Detergent washes out snot, I’m pretty sure. Besides,” he peeked his head around the corner, “It’s not the first time I’ve had your fluids on me.” He winked and went back into the bathroom.

“That’s really nasty, JC.” She made a face at him.

Casey lay on her back, eyes closed, and listened as he brushed his teeth. She heard the toilet flush, the water in the sink run, and then the soft sound of his feet on the carpet as he walked toward the bed.

Eyes still closed, she turned toward his side of the bed and waited for him to get in. The bed shifted under his weight, and then he was climbing in, one arm snaking around her waist.

“Hey,” he said softly, kissing the tip of her nose.

She opened her eyes and looked into his. He was looking at her, wide open and honest, and she blinked back the feeling of more tears. “Hey,” she whispered.

He rested his forehead against hers. “You were saying something before Eric came by.”

She had hoped he had forgotten. “Yeah.”

He waited a moment to see if she would speak more, and when she closed her eyes he pinched her hip gently. “Hey.”

She opened her eyes to see him looking at her, noting nothing but more warmth lurking behind his intense blue eyes.

“You can finish now, you know? What you were going to say?”

She closed her eyes again, and brought one of her hands up to the back of his neck, where she played with the soft hair there. “I’m tired, JC. I don’t want to think about Tony or any of this anymore.” She opened her eyes and brought her lips to his.

He kissed her back softly at first, until her hand tangled in his hair more insistently. She tugged at him until he rolled over on top of her.

“I thought you said were tired,” he said lightly.

“Tired,” she agreed. “But not sleepy.”

He let her lead, kissing her back as she kissed him harder. She arched her back, grinding her body up against his. And though his body began to react to her physically, he was conflicted.

She needed to talk, that much was obvious. And she’d been about to, before Eric knocked on the door. Whatever had happened months ago behind the closed doors of their hotel room, whatever was currently happening, JC knew she needed to talk about Tony.

He was still shocked at the fact that she’d punched him. He’d seen her frustrated before, maybe even a little angry. But there was nothing but unadulterated hatred in her eyes when her fist shot out and into the man’s face.

JC’s lips moved down to her neck, even as his thoughts continued to wander. As much as he wanted her to feel comfortable enough with him to give vent to whatever she was feeling about Tony, he began to doubt his ability to handle it. He felt guilty, even as his fingers played over her skin, feeling that maybe he wasn’t the person she could rely on while she dealt with things. He wanted to be that person, but maybe he wasn’t capable of it. And maybe, he thought as his fingertips brushed over the skin of her belly, all he was doing was making it easier for her to distract herself.

He pulled his lips away from her and scooted up to look her in the eye. “Baby, maybe tonight we should just...talk, or…I don’t know. Not do this.”

Casey shook her head firmly and tightened her hold on him. “I don’t want to talk. I just...I just want to feel you. And not think. That’s all.”

She pressed her mouth against his insistently, and he sighed as he gave in to her.

He was hard, had been since she’d pulled him down on top of her, because that was just the way he responded to her. But it made him hate himself just a little bit, because she was vulnerable and it almost felt like taking advantage of her. But maybe, another voice in his mind offered, it was OK. If it would take her mind off of things for even a little while, maybe it was OK. She wasn’t drunk or anything. And with the way she was taking his hands and guiding them to her breasts, she clearly wanted it.

As his fingers rolled her nipples through the fabric of her tank, her back arched and she moaned his name.

He pushes the shirt up and his hands are relishing the silky warmth of her skin and fuck she feels so good but he feels so bad because is this what she really wants? He’s raining kisses on her abdomen, and his tongue flicks over her navel and he’s moving down and down and pulling her underwear off, one leg at at time. He’s kissing her inner thighs, nipping and sucking her skin, and she’s whimpering and saying his name all pant-y and breathy the way he really likes.

Now he’s moving closer to where she really wants him to go and she’s begging (pleasepleaseplease) and his mouth is on her and she’s melting against his tongue and his lips and he’s french kissing her intimately and being this close to her makes him dizzy in the most amazingly beautiful way. He’s moving so painstakingly slow, covering every inch of her with his lips. His lips close over her clit and he begins sucking, but so gently and she’s gasping for air. She’s close, he can tell by the way her stomach is fluttering and she’s cussing softly and he moves back to her thigh.

She’s whimpering and whenever he does this to her it’s only a matter of time before she’s melting into his mouth, but he stops, and she’s a little dismayed to not be coming after all. Casey runs her fingers through his hair and starts pulling at it, probably too hard, but fuck it. She can’t even think about that right now. Right now every thought of everything including old what’s-his-face is obliterated by JC’s tongue and the fleeting thought that she wants to feel him, this way, for the rest of her life, and oh shit where did that come from. Every cell in her body is vibrating and fucking fuck she wants to come so bad but he’s not letting her and then his fingers are inside her and (oh fuck) this is it for real. His tongue is on her clit (flickflickflick, rub, suck) and those two fingers are right on that most magical of spots and he kissing and sucking and massaging and she’s coming so hard she sees stars and spots and flashes of colored lights and she’s still trying to inhale and exhale like she knows how to breathe.

JC is the reason she understands why it’s called la petite mort, except there is nothing little about how amazing it feels. He pushes her shirt up and over her arms and, with her eyes still closed, she smiles as the fabric of his underwear slides gently against her as he pulls it off. In the next instant his body is pressed right against hers and he’s kissing her and, fuck this is is so erotic, she can taste herself on him. Her hands find their way to the back of his head, and she presses her lips tightly against his. She’s so turned on, which he knows and it turns him on, which turns her on even more. She raises her hips to meet his, and with a small smile, he’s guiding himself inside her.

She gasps at the sensation of being filled by him and (shitmotherfuckerdammit) she may come again just like that. He’s doing that thing where he’s just rocking up against her spot and (yesyesyes that’s it fuck)  she’s exploding again.

JC’s marveling at how quick that was, and how it’s never that quick, but tonight is different and he’s pretty pleased with himself. Her eyes shut so tight and her thighs are locked around his waist and he leans in close to her ear. “Look at me, baby,” he whispers.

She seems to force her eyes open, and she finds him watching her and it’s almost too intense because his eyes are just too blue and too focused on her and she’s pretty sure she can read everything he hasn’t said yet behind his eyes. She wonders if he’s aware that she feels the same way about him, and they’re staring at each other.

Now he’s sliding out of her slowly, inch by glorious inch, and she gasping and scratching at his back as he slides back in slowly, and she’s one hundred percent sure she has never been this wet before and he’s goes as far as he can possible go and then he’s pulling out again and he hasn’t once broken eye contact. He’s up on his forearms over her, and she looks down for a moment and watches, biting her lip, where they’re joined as he moves in and out of her.

“You like watching, baby? The way I’m moving out of you, so slowly. and then back in?”

She gasps, nods.

“You’re so wet and you feel so good.” JC groans right against her ear. “You make me so fucking hot, baby. And I don’t know whether to keep doing this, this slow, driving us both crazy...or if I should just fuck the hell out of you so we can both come. I want to come so bad.”

And there it is, again. That build up. Fuck He feels so indescribably good, and when he talks like that in her ear it takes everything in her not to beg him to fuck her (hardhardhard) and she’s sure the bed is one huge wet spot and they’ll definitely be putting towels down tonight but fuck she needed this and she’s gripping his back and biting his shoulder--not too hard--and moving with him and keeping up the pace and the rhythm and that feeling is getting bigger inside her like a balloon that’s slowly being inflated and it’s almost past the point where it’s just too much and she’s going to pop.

“Fuck, Casey, please tell me you’re close. I wanna come so bad but I wanna do it with you.”

She hears him and tries to answer him, not sure if she can form words. “Yes. Close,” she manages in between labored breaths.

And then she’s not breathing again exactly, but gasping for air, and she can’t feel her limbs but he’s pounding and saying her name and she’s exploding and he’s erupting.

Fuck, he thinks even as he continues pumping into her, even as he’s coming harder than maybe he ever has. She’s all rhythmic and tight around him and she’s whimpering, and though he’d hate to admit it, he’s whimpering too. He repeats her name over and over and presses his forehead to hers as she runs her fingers through his hair.

They’re both panting heavily, and trembling against each other. He’s still inside her, she’s still clenching around him, her aftershocks making him feel spectacularly good. It’s funny, he thinks, that after all that he hasn’t gone completely soft yet.

He puts his lips against her temple, trails them down her cheekbone, to her cheek and he feels the wetness there before tasting the saltiness of her tears. He pulls back to look at her and her eyes are clamped shut and he sees that her shuddery breaths aren’t just on account of the sex, but she’s crying again.

Just as suddenly she tries to cover her face with her hands but he pulls them away and kisses her again. “Casey…” he starts and stops, not sure how to even finish the sentence.

And then she’s sobbing, and trying to push him away, but he’s firmly holding her tight and kissing her face and telling her it’s OK, it’s going to be OK.

He gathers her into his arms and holds her, and she mumbles something about losing it on him for the second time, and he tells her doesn’t care.

Casey doesn’t have time to care much herself because the more he comforts her, and kisses her, and touches her so gently and whispers all of the beautiful sweet wonderful things he’s whispering, the harder she cries. And maybe, she thinks, this isn’t about Tony at all. Maybe this is about JC and the fact that he takes care of her and listens to her and allows her to be her messy, flighty, chaotic self without any iota of judgment of disdain.

And fuck it all, she also thinks, because she’s in love with him. Which makes her cry harder.

JC continues to kiss her, and after a little while she  stops trying to push him away. He’s not even sure what he’s saying, just telling whatever he can think of because all he wants is for her not to hurt. And the fact that she’s she’s she’s obviously hurting, and has been for so long, makes him hate Tony maybe more than he’s ever hated anyone.

And he hates him more because right now especially, he doesn’t want to even think about the son of a bitch. She’s silly and melodramatic sometimes, and she’s fiery and bubbly and why anyone would purposely want to hurt her he can’t fathom. Because she’s also sweet, and kind, and generous, and sometimes so unsure of herself that it hurts him. And he is in love with her. And he knows it, and he’s known it for awhile and he’s been trying not to acknowledge it but right now, with her naked and crying and the most vulnerable anyone could ever be with anyone else, all he wants to do is make her hurt stop.

He wraps his arms around her, and pulls her close to his chest, turning them over so he’s on his back and she’s kind of half on him and she’s shaking so hard with her sobs and he would literally give anything right now to make her stop hurting. So he holds her, and tells its going to be OK and he almost tells her he loves her, but he doesn’t want it to come out like this, not when she’s like this. Not when it may scare her even more than he’s pretty sure it’s going to scare her when he finally does say it.

And in that instant he decides that he’s definitely going to say it because she needs to know. She needs to know how he feels, and that because of how he feels, he’s not going anywhere. And whatever happened or didn’t happen with Tony, and whatever shitty drama he’s trying to stir up now, and no matter what the media or anyone else says about their relationship, he loves her. And she needs to know it. And as soon as she knows it, he doesn’t care if everyone else in the world knows it. But he’s not going to hide it anymore. Not as soon as he can figure how--and when--to tell her.

Casey woke up the next morning feeling foggy. She washed her face, noting how red and puffy her eyes were, and brushed her teeth. When she exited the bathroom JC was still sleeping so after pulling on some workout clothes, she scrawled a quick note and left it on the nightstand. After grabbing the rest of what she needed, she took the elevator down to the main floor and followed the signs that led her to the hotel’s gym.

The room was blessedly empty, and after slipping her headphones over her ears and choosing a playlist, Casey stepped onto the treadmill in the back corner of the room. She programmed it for a steady jog, and began to move. Chicago house was her favorite music to work out to, and with the steady thump of the bass in her ear, the rhythmic fall of her feet on the machine, her head began to clear.

JC was a perfect distraction, that’s what she told herself in the beginning. A perfect sexy distraction. Their mutual physical attraction was what kept them coming back for more. Ease of access was how she explained their shared bed night after night. But she knew, even while she tried to deny it to herself and everyone else, that there was more to it.

At first JC was something of an enigma, a puzzle she was determined to figure out. Onstage he was energy personified. The music started and he was a volcanic eruption, or a live wire. But offstage he was generally the polar opposite. He was laid-back, shy even. He radiated cool, calm, collectedness. Sometimes she asked him questions, the most random and occasionally off-the-wall things she could think of just to get a reaction out of him. But his reaction was always the same: complete calm. The one time she'd seen him angry was after a phone call, the details of which he didn't care to elaborate on.

There were things he got riled up about though, and Casey loved listening to him when he was excited about something. There was something wonderful about the way his eyes danced and his hands moved. The fact that he had a tendency to ramble. She enjoyed the glimpses she got of who he was beneath the surface. The person he was onstage that sometimes came to life privately.

There’d been a shift between them. They didn’t talk about it, but even without acknowledging it verbally, it was obvious to both of them that things were different. Even before he took the lead in labeling their relationship.

It was in the way that he kissed her, in the way that he touched her. It was in the way he looked at her, when he didn’t know she was paying attention. It was the dark chocolate she mentioned to him once, and the fact that he left it for her in all sorts of unexpected places.

There was also the book.

She picks up the rectangular item from the bed. It's a pristine hardcover copy of her favorite book by her favorite author: Stephen King's The Stand. "JC?" she calls.

He appears, leaning casually against the frame of the bathroom door, blues eyes sparkling.

Her eyes flit to his. "What's this?" She holds the book up in his direction.

He approaches her slowly and slides next to her on the bed. "Looks like a book," he replies, smiling.

She rolls her eyes with a goodnatured grin. "Thanks for clarifying that for me. What I mean is, why's it here?"

He leans in close, his lips whispering right up against her ear. "Have you opened it up?"

Casey opens the book and there, on the inside cover, partially obscured by the paper flap, are handwritten words.

Casey, congratulations on this new chapter of your life. All the best, Stephen King.

Her eyes slowly raise from the book to meet his. "JC...how did you...?" The question hangs and her eyes are wide.

He shrugs nonchalantly. "Lance knows people who know people. I told him your favorite book was in pretty bad shape and he helped me take care of it." His grin is wide, happy.

Casey runs her fingers over the words inside the cover before closing it and setting it next to her. "This is," she begins, swiveling toward him and sliding her arms around his neck, "the coolest, sweetest, most awesome thing, ever. Thank you." She registers the blush that's risen to his cheeks and the satisfaction on his face before she brings her lips to his.

Tendrils of perspiration trailed down her skin, but she wiped her brow and increased the speed on the machine.  

JC always managed to find ways to communicate to her that she occupied his thoughts in a meaningful way. If it hadn’t been evident before, it was obvious in the way he handled her meltdown after Tony. She couldn’t believe the way she’d cried before sex, after sex. During sex. She’d never done that before with anyone and it embarrassed the hell out of her. The fact that he was so tender had made her sob even harder.

She’d cried herself out the night before, and JC, with his sweet words and gentle caresses, simply let her. When she’d finally stopped he didn’t ask her any more questions, simply poured her a glass of water, placed a cool towel over her forehead, and stayed next to her. She closed her eyes and eventually he did as well; she was still awake when he fell asleep, still holding her hand. She’d turned over and watched him sleep for a good twenty minutes, her thoughts a jumble.

Somewhere over the months, she found herself missing him when a string of nightly performances in different cities kept them from spending extended time together. When something funny happened on her bus, she couldn’t wait to get to the next place so she could share it with him. Her friends and family teased her about how often his name came up in conversation as of late, and she couldn’t deny that his name was often on the tip of her tongue.

And although spending time with him, just the two of them, had become one of her favorite things to do, she loved watching him interact with his bandmates almost as much. When the cameras weren’t rolling, and there were no flashing lights and screaming fans, when his guard was down, and he could be one hundred percent his authentic self with the guys he called his brothers...that was her second favorite way to see him.

She loved how easy they all were together, the fact that were no egos. They had inside jokes, and they loved to tease each other. They all took the gentle ribbing from the others in stride. She’d heard JC say in interviews that he felt lucky because he got to do his favorite thing in the world with four of his favorite people. She envied that a bit; she had her dancers, but it wasn’t quite the same. But she loved it too, for him. And the fact that, once she became part of his life, the other guys welcomed her into their world with open arms. They’d been friendly toward her from the beginning, and she’d clicked with Justin from the moment she met him. But after she and JC became a thing, it was somehow deeper.

But no matter how excited and happy she was about the way things were progressing with JC, Tony lurked just below the surface. JC was so different than Tony, and the details of their relationship were so different. And even though she pushed the thought away every time it threatened to surface, what she felt for JC was certainly different. But the way things started with JC were so similar to the way things started with Tony. And if his book got published before Dara and the powers that be at the label could stop it, then what? What would JC think of her then? Would everything she thought he felt for even matter then?

And that thought, along with the realization of how much she felt for him--how much it felt like everything she wasn’t ready to feel--scared the everloving shit out of her.

Casey caught movement out of the corner of her eye and, without slowing down, looked over her left shoulder. She smiled when she saw Mike standing next to the treadmill.

“Hey,” she said, pushing her headphones down.

“Hey,” he echoed.

She decreased the speed of the machine to a slow trot. “What’s up? Is everything OK?”

“That’s what I came to ask you,” he replied with a pointed look. “I heard Tony showed up yesterday.”

Casey rolled her eyes and shut off the treadmill. She jumped down and walked over to a shelf stacked high with towels. Mike followed her over as she wiped her face and neck.

“Casey,” he began.

“Yeah, he showed up,” she said shortly. “He came, he left. Everything’s peachy.”

He stared at her for a moment. “I also heard you punched him in the face.”

A small smile came to her lips. “Nothing stays secret on tour, huh?”

“How’s your hand?”

She glanced down at it and shrugged. It was a bit sore actually, but with everything else on her mind she’d given it little thought. “It’s fine.”

Mike nodded. “Bruce says Dara’s working on getting a restraining order.”  

With a small sound of annoyance she filled a cup with water from the room’s cooler.

He followed her and continued. “Makes sense though, don’t you think? Since this is the second time he’s just showed up out of nowhere; he’s basically stalking you.”

“He’s doing shit just to get a reaction out of me. And I gave him one, so…” Casey made a face. “I just want him to leave me the hell alone,” she mumbled.

Mike touched her shoulder. “Casey, are you sure you’re OK?”

She jerked away from him. “Mike, I swear I’m going to fight the next person who asks me if I’m OK,” she yelled.

He stared back at her wide-eyed, saying nothing.

“I’m fine! I’ve been fine. I’m not fragile and I’m not broken and…” She trailed off and groaned.

She tossed her water cup in the trash and took a deep breath. “I appreciate that you care; I really do. I love you for it, all of you. But the quicker everyone stops asking me how I am, the better I’ll be.”

He blinked slowly, his expression watchful. “Whatever you say, Case.”

“I’ll see you later.” With that she left the gym, leaving Mike standing there.

***

When Casey entered the hotel room JC was on his knees in front of his suitcase. He looked up at her, took in her peevish expression, and bit back the urge to ask how she was feeling. “How was your workout?” he asked instead.

She grunted and kicked off her shoes. “I broke a sweat, so good enough I guess. I need a shower.”

He tried to watch her inconspicuously as she took off her workout clothes. Her movements were jerky, her face still a mask of annoyance.

“Dara called you. A few times in a row,” he said. “I answered after the third time and told her you were in the gym. I hope that’s OK.“

“It’s fine.” Casey tugged her hair out of the elastic holding it and chucked it to the floor. “How’d she sound?” She knelt down to rummage through her travel bag.

“Worried, mostly.” JC stood up and leaned against the bathroom door. “She asked how you were. After you saw him.”

She paused in the motion of picking clothes out of her suitcase, her back to her. “What’d you tell her?” she asked softly.

He inhaled deeply and crossed to where she was bent over. He sat down next to her, placing a hand on her back. “I told her you have a mean right hook.” He leaned in close and kissed her cheek.

Casey smiled and rested her head on his shoulder.

“Speaking of…” JC gently took her her hands in his and inspected the one she’d used to punch Tony. Three of her knuckles were red and slightly swollen. “Does it hurt?”

She wrinkled her nose, clenching and unclenching her fist. “A little. It was worth it, though.”

“I’ll bet,” he laughed. “Come here, Muhammad Ali, Jr.”

JC pulled her up and brought her over to the desk where the ice bucket was. He plunged her hand into the filled bucket.

“Shit, that’s cold!” she gasped.

“Ice usually is, baby. Keep it there for a little while; it’ll take the swelling down.”

She grumbled under her breath but kept her hand in the ice.

“You could’ve broken it, you know,” he said mildly.

She frowned. “But I didn’t.”

“Case…” he inhaled.

“JC, don’t. Please.” She stared down at her hand in the bucket, refusing to meet his gaze.

“You don’t even know what I was about to say.”

“If it’s some variation of ‘are you sure you’re OK, Casey?’ then please don’t. “

He laughed shortly. “OK…what about last night, then? Can we talk about that?”

She sighed. “Listen, I’m sorry I kinda fell apart on you. Twice. I can promise you that won’t happen again.”

He took her chin in his hand and tilted her head back. “Last night was the most honest I’ve seen you in...maybe ever. Don’t apologize for that.”

She flinched at his words but said nothing.

JC groaned in frustration; the wall was back up and she still wouldn’t look at him. He kissed her forehead and dropped his hands. “Casey, you make things way more complicated than they need to be.” His voice was soft, non-judgmental.

“Has my hand been in here long enough? I think I’m getting frostbite.”

Whatever he’d hoped to accomplish by bringing up the previous night wasn’t going to happen. He sighed again. “Yeah, but it probably needs to be looked at later. Just in case.”

She pulled her hand out of the ice and inspected it. “I think some of the swelling’s gone down already.”

“That’s good, baby.” He nodded. He wasn’t satisfied with her abrupt change and not-so-subtle dismissal of the subject, but he didn’t have the time or energy to force it.

“I’ll probably be gone by the time you get out of the shower,” he said, glancing at his watch. “I’ll look for you backstage later.”

Casey grabbed underwear from her suitcase before turning to wink at him. “‘K, babe. See you later.”

***

JC asked her to ride his bus again after the final show in Los Angeles, just until they got to Sacramento, and Casey agreed without hesitation. The yes came out of her mouth quickly enough that it shocked even her, but it put a smile on his face, and that made her happy.

It had been the kind of day that made her want to spend most of the evening drinking, and the prospect of curling up on the bus for a few hours with no one asking her questions or handling her with kid gloves was a welcome one.

Mike, Lawrence, and Jasmine had tip-toed around her during soundcheck that afternoon. No one mentioned Tony, which she was thankful for, but way they all looked at her--as if she were a couple of minutes from a meltdown--made her irrationally angry. Everett stopped her backstage to let her know that all pertinent staff and crew had been alerted that if anyone saw Tony, they were to call the cops immediately. And as she wandered around in the hours before the show, she kept catching people looking after her questioningly.

Prior to her performance Dara showed up in her dressing room not altogether unexpectedly. With the exception of sending her manager a text message earlier in the day, she’d avoided all contact with her. Dara was none too happy about that when she showed up to address the previous evening with Tony. Still, the conversation had been relatively brief. Casey assured her that she was OK, and Dara confirmed that there was no news on the book. There was also a brief but intense argument about the possibility of increasing her security temporarily.

The bus had just pulled away when Casey and JC settled into the corner of the wraparound couch in the back lounge. She curled herself into him, resting her head and one hand on his chest. She smiled when the sound of his yawn rumbled against her.

“Bet you’re asleep before we even make it outside city limits,” she laughed.

“Mmm,” he sighed into her hair. He tightened his arm around her. “That’s a fool’s bet. I’m pretty sure I’m gonna be asleep in the next thirty seconds.”

She closed her eyes and was thinking that she would be as well, when she heard someone shuffle into the room. She looked toward the doorway when Chris cleared his throat.

“So, I think we should lay some ground rules,” he said with a gleam in his eye.

JC grunted but kept his eyes closed.

“Ground rules?” Casey’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Like what?”

Chris sighed heavily and leaned against the doorway. “I’m not saying that sex never happens on a tour bus. And anyone who’s toured with Joey can attest to the fact that sex can, and often does, happen in all sorts of unexpected places.”

She snorted. “I’m pretty sure JC’s already asleep, and I plan to be right behind him. I’m a thousand percent sure that no sex is happening here tonight.”

She yawned as if to emphasize her point, and when her eyes opened again, she was suddenly blinded by a white light. “What the hell?” She blinked rapidly, rubbing her eyes, until her vision cleared.

Justin had joined Chris in the doorway holding a camera. “You two crazy kids just looked so gosh darn cute,” he drawled, a goofy smile on his face. “I had to snap a picture.”

“They are pretty cute like that, aren’t they?” Chris agreed, nodding at him. “I came to tell her the rules.”

“You mean like no sex on the bus where other people can see or hear?” Justin asked.

“Well, I was getting to that when you took the picture,” the brunette explained.

“Joey never follows that rule.” Justin seemed to be in deep thought for a moment.

Chris clicked his tongue. “There’s a lot of rules Joey doesn’t follow.”

“Guys, JC is literally snoring,” Casey interjected, looking between Justin and Chris. “I assure you that there’s not going to be any sex. And I’d really like it if you’d leave so I can go to sleep.”

“I didn’t go over all of the ru--”

“Chris, get out,” she interrupted.

“That’s fine,” he muttered, backing out of the room. “But if you’re going to be on the bus with us, we’re going to have to discuss this in depth later.” With that he turned and walked back through the doorway.

Justin remained where he was, watching Casey with a neutral expression.

“What?” she asked when he didn’t say anything.

“Since I’m not allowed to ask you if you’re OK I figured I would stand here until I could see it for myself.” He shrugged.

She rolled her eyes. “Go to sleep, Justin; it’s late.”

“I will in a minute.” He nodded. “He’s worried about you, you know.”

“He doesn’t need to be,” she replied defiantly.

“I think that’s a matter of opinion, shorty.” He shrugged again. “See you in a few hours.”

Casey stared after him and several minutes went by before she finally closed her eyes and settled back against a sound-asleep JC.

"Mmmm,” JC sighed languidly. “That was a good way to start the day.”

In the beginning of their relationship Casey had once told him that she didn't generally like sex first thing in the morning; he'd made it a point to enthusiastically try and change her mind as the months went by. He'd been, he thought with a grin, pretty successful.

With labored breathing, she mumbled something incoherently, keeping her face pressed to the pillow beneath her.

"What was that?” He squeezed her hip with one hand while simultaneously sliding the other from between her legs. Placing a soft kiss between her shoulder blades, he rolled off of her and onto his back.  “Come on, mama, time to get up.”

He waited several minutes before speaking again. “Baby,” JC drawled out slowly, eyeing her inert form next to him, “we really have to get dressed. Don't you have an interview this morning?”

She groaned, still not moving.  

He turned on his side and leaned in close to her, dragging his teeth over her shoulder and grinning when she trembled beneath him. “You said you wanted to shower first and you're running out of time.”

"I can't shower,” she said, finally turning her head to him. “I can't even stand up.”

"You're welcome.” He grinned at her and stood up, eliciting a squeal from her when he slapped her butt.

"Ow!” She turned over and stretched, pouting. “That hurt.”

JC glanced at her over his shoulder. “You shouldn't be grumpy after sex that good.” He wiggled his eyebrows and turned back around.

"I'm not grumpy,” she yawned. “I'm exhausted and sore.”

"Like I said, you're welcome.” He headed to the bathroom.

Casey laughed and sat up, reaching to the bedside to grab her phone. “You know I always thought, out of the five of you, Justin was the arrogant one.”

Peeking his head from the doorway, he grinned. “I'm not arrogant; I just know when I'm really good at something.” With another wink he went back into the room. With the door closed behind him, he started the water in the shower before climbing in.

Although the sex that morning had definitely contributed to his overall good mood, it wasn't the only thing. After her run-in with Tony, JC had figured Casey would shut him out completely. He'd mentally prepared himself for it in fact, but so far, she'd done the exact opposite. It started when he'd asked her to ride the bus with him to Sacramento; he'd expected her to say no, and had been floored when she agreed with no argument.

Later, when fans descended outside of their hotel, she didn't scramble away from him when they took pictures. To his surprise, she'd squeezed in between him and Lance and wrapped her arms around both of them. When he'd glanced down at her in obvious surprise, she winked at him and continued to smile for the cameras.

JC lathered shampoo into his hair and his memory skipped back to the night of the altercation with Tony. They were a week past it and things were back to normal. As normal as anything with Casey ever was, he thought somewhat wryly. But she was in a good mood too, and that was something.

It was also something that he couldn't get the events of that evening out of his head. The realization that what he felt for her was more than like, more than lust, and maybe more than she was ready to handle. In a way, it was more than he was ready to handle. And the fact that the word had come to his mind so readily that night made him more than a little uncomfortable.

While JC was most certainly a romantic, he wasn't typically sappy. He definitely didn't start thinking love just because of sex. Drama and baggage usually sent him running in the opposite direction. Usually. But being with Casey that night, holding her while she fell apart made him want to keep holding her, and keep being there as she put the pieces back together.

That realization troubled him. He didn't have a savior complex; rescuing broken women wasn't the sort of thing he was attracted to. He wasn't selfish, but he knew that what he could give to another person, considering everything in his life, was relatively limited. So it made no sense that all he wanted to do where Casey was concerned was tell her he loved her, and that he would be there for her no matter what. It made no sense when he thought about things strictly in terms of time.

All things considered, he and Casey hadn't been together that long. A matter of months. And even without the issue of Tony, the fact that he was already thinking love tilted him off-balance.

When a voice spoke up in his mind saying that maybe it was sex, he thought of all of the conversations they had, and the fact that she'd quickly become one of his favorite people to talk to. Yeah, having sex with her was something he enjoyed. Immensely. But more than the physical act of being intimate with her, there was another level of being with her that he didn't have words to describe. Even while he was in the midst of being as close to her as any one person could be to another, all he wanted was to be closer. Having good sex always made him want to have more good sex, but having sex with Casey made him want to continue having even better sex specifically with her.

With Casey in the picture, there was never any temptation for him when a fan tried to make it clear that she'd be down with whatever he would be interested in. He couldn't imagine that anything anyone else had to offer would even come close to what he knew he had with Casey, what he knew would only get better with time. He hadn't spoken the words because it made him feel kind of lame, but he’d come to think of what they did as lovemaking. He blushed just thinking about it.

Maybe it was the fact that, because of the tour, they were together constantly. Whether or not they actually spent nights together, they were around each other often. Between soundchecks, and while waiting for shows. Despite the busyness and controlled chaos of a tour, there was quite a bit of downtime and he'd gotten the opportunity to spend most of his with her.

And it brought him back to the same conclusion; he loved her. Maybe it was too soon, and maybe it didn't make any sense, but he did. And despite that stupid dissenting voice, it was about way more than sex.

When they were alone together, there was no questioning her feelings for him. Despite the cliche of it, it was clear to him in the way she looked at him, the way his name sounded in her mouth, and the way she touched him. And even if she wasn't yet comfortable with showing all of that in public, he knew it beyond a shadow of any doubt.

He'd made up his mind to tell her he loved her that night, but since then he hadn't found a moment that seemed right. He didn't want the triteness of saying it while they were in bed, but he also didn't want it to be something he tossed out in between their shows. He wanted to be able to sit down, let her look in his eyes, and tell her he was in love with her. He wanted her to be able to see that he meant it.

But there was also the fact that she still wouldn't talk about what had set her off that night. Aside from the fact of Tony just being an asshole, JC couldn't get rid of the niggling feeling that something else had happened to make her want to punch him. Something that had nothing to do with whatever had happened in the hotel months before. And when he was honest with himself, he still wanted to know what that full story was as well.

As he let the water wash over him, he groaned in frustration. His previously good mood was quickly giving way to aggravation, and the worst part was that he wasn’t exactly sure why he was annoyed.

He didn't want to push Casey away. Not when she was finally moving closer to him. So he figured he'd wait, and have to more or less be content to wait until she was ready to tell him everything. Until it was the perfect moment to tell her he loved her.

He turned off the water, took a deep breath, and stepped out of the shower to get ready for the rest of the day.

***

"Hey,” Casey said after Dara answered the phone. “Any news?” She could hear the shower still going in the bathroom and figured she had a few good minutes before JC came out again.

Dara sighed from the other end. “Casey, you're obsessing. I told you I'd keep you updated, and I will.”

"I'm not obsessing, I just...” Casey trailed off and grunted. “I'm obsessing,” she admittedly quietly. “But I can't help it. I didn't hear from you, and since I may not have time to check in with you later, and JC's in the shower, I figured I could call now…”

There was a brief moment of silence before Dara said, “Maybe you should tell him.”

"No!” Casey responded, louder than she'd intended. She snapped her mouth shut and made sure she could still hear the shower. “No,” she repeated softly. “I don't want him to know--ever--and since you say you're going to make the stupid piece of shit book disappear, he shouldntt have to.”

“Casey, you--”

“No, Dara. I'm not telling him or anyone else so do what you need to do to make it go away. Please.”

Dara sighed. “We're working on it. And with that in mind…”

"With that in mind, what?” Casey asked snappishly.

"It would help this whole process if you'd tell me what happened in the hotel room that night. We can't file for an order of protection unless you're willing to testify against Tony.”

Casey scoffed. “I don't need an order of protection; I just need the stupid book gone.”

"I understand that and like I said, we're working on it, but in the interim we want to make sure that Tony doesn't contact you.”

"Dara, just--” Casey stopped abruptly when she realized she no longer heard the shower running. “I gotta go. Call me if you hear anything else. Bye!” Without waiting for her manager to respond, she ended the call and jumped out of bed.

***

"So, OK, you’re touring with *NSYNC and they're pretty much the biggest band on the planet now, so how's that going?”

“Yeah, it's awesome. It's great; they're great guys. And they're consummate professionals so just kind of being around them and seeing the way they do things...I'm getting educated, definitely. And they're just insanely talented and the show they put on is incredible.”

Casey sat across and slightly to the left of the DJ at the round end of a small workstation. Though the evening's show would be taking place in Berkeley, she was in the midst of an in-studio interview in a San Francisco-based radio station. She'd entered the small space pensively, her thoughts not really focused on the evening's performance. JC had already left the hotel room by the time she got out of the shower that morning, but the note he'd left, telling her he had to ask her something later, left her feeling unsettled and more than a little nervous.

Still, she tried her best to be present in her interview, and thankfully, Albert 'Crazy Al' Wallace was genuinely likable and affable enough to keep her at least semi-engaged.

“How is it, though, with all the fans? Because we've heard how crazy the fans can get. Have you witnessed some of that?” He waggled his eyebrows expectantly.

“Yeah, um. So. *NSYNC fans are crazy about *NSYNC.” She shifted in her seat, leaning a bit closer to the microphone in front of her, and chuckled. “I know some people are going to hate the comparison or whatever, but it's totally like Beatlemania wherever they go. I mean there are girls--all ages from like, really little to grown women--and they're screaming and crying and throwing things and it can get pretty intense.”

Someone--she assumed it was the engineer on the other side of the glass--played an effect that sounded like a crowd of screaming girls.

Casey grinned. “Yep. Just like that.”

“Yeah, I'll bet,” Crazy Al agreed, laughing. “So what's the craziest thing you've witnessed from one of their fans?”

Casey snickered a little bit. “From what they've told me, I haven't seen anything too crazy. Just, you know, girls trying to sneak past security in hotels and stuff. Asking the guys to sign various body parts--”

“Body parts?” he interjected. “Are we talking G-rated body parts or….?” Again, his eyebrows raised suggestively and Casey snorted.

“Usually it's pretty G-rated, like arms or legs. Some girls get, ah...pretty audacious, but security usually steps in pretty quickly for that stuff.”

“Yeah, I'll bet.” He nodded. “So what about you being there? You're the only girl on the road with all of these guys that girls all over the world absolutely love? How've the fans been with you about that?”

She shrugged and sipped from the bottle of water on the console in front of her. “Well, I'm not the only one, really. I mean my dancer, Jasmine Flores, she's out there with me every night. And there are other women that are essential to every part of the tour; they're just behind the scenes or whatever.

“But the *NSYNC fans are, you know, I think they've been really receptive to me as the opening act, as an artist. So, I don't think anyone's thinking about me in terms of just being some random chick traveling with *NSYNC, you know? It's business.” She shrugged again.

“Just business, huh?” He quirked an eyebrow up at her. “Because, well, I mean, you're on tour with all these good-looking guys roughly your own age, and you're a beautiful girl. And so you've got all these young, gorgeous people together all the time. Out on the road, going across the country. There's gotta be some temptation to maybe mix business with pleasure sometimes?”

She shook her head emphatically, and adjusted the headphones over her ears. “It-it's not like that.” She hoped no one noticed the way she stuttered the slightest bit when she answered. “I mean, they're all great guys and we have fun together and hang out and stuff when we're not working. We're all, um, friends, you know?”

The sly smile Crazy Al turned on her made Casey's stomach lurch; he looked as if he had a secret he couldn't wait to spill.

“Just friends? Are you sure? Because,” he shuffled some papers around on the desk in front of him, “one of our interns is a huge *NSYNC fan. And she's always reading online message boards and she says that there's these rumors that you and JC Chasez have a thing, maybe?”

Casey almost choked on the water she was sipping and Crazy Al's obvious amusement with the whole thing infuriated her. She brushed at the water she'd splashed on her shirt and tried to affect what she hoped was an air of nonchalance. She laughed, probably a little too loudly, she thought afterward.

“Those message boards are funny, man. We all go on them sometimes and read some of the off-the-wall things people come up with.” She hoped evading the question would be enough to steer the conversation in another direction.

“So does that mean the rumors about you and JC aren’t true?”

Crazy Al held her gaze and she forced a laugh, silently cursing him. “JC's a great guy, but if you knew the two of us you'd realize how ridiculous the idea of the two of us together is.”

“Is it really? Because there are allegedly fans who've seen the two of you out and about at various places and they swear they've seen the two of you looking pretty cozy and very much like a couple.”

She shook her head again. “Uh, no. No.” She snickered. “Like I said, I'm friends with all of the guys. So are my dancers. Like you said, we're all around the same age and the nature of a tour kind of forces you all into close proximity, so… We're all friendly--all of us who are on the tour. And we socialize outside of,” she made air-quotes with her fingers, “work or whatever.”

Crazy Al continued to stare at her with a smirk on his face that showed how unconvinced he was. “OK, Casey, I'm just going to ask you straight up for the record: are you and JC hooked up?”

A web of tension formed behind her eyes and she felt the slowly building pressure of an impending headache. Casey knew the question could likely come at some point, but she wasn't ready for it. The smile she flashed at Al was strained and her voice was carefully controlled.

“No. There is absolutely nothing romantic between JC and me.” She knew, even as the words came out, how she sounded. As if even the suggestion of a romance with JC was insulting to her. She sent up a silent prayer, hoping he wasn't listening to the interview.

Crazy Al looked at her for a moment more before nodding with what appeared to be a satisfied grin. “Well, there you have it, San Francisco. Straight from Casey Whitaker herself."

The conversation moved to other topics and Casey's sense of self-loathing grew with every passing moment.

***

JC turned off the radio and drummed his fingers on his thigh, saying nothing. Casey's words reverberated in his mind. Actually, more than words was the tone of her voice. He'd heard it before, when she was exasperated and altogether done. That was the part that bothered him the most.

He'd almost forgotten he wasn't alone when Justin cleared his throat; he looked up at the sound.

“You OK?”

He raised one shoulder in a shrug. “Yeah, why wouldn't I be? She wants to keep things quiet; you know that.”

Justin blinked slowly, lips pursed. Several seconds passed with him saying nothing, and JC eventually looked away.

“You haven't talked to her then,” the blonde said finally.

JC grunted and stood up, stretching his arms overhead. He knew precisely what Justin was alluding to but he wasn't in any mood to explain himself. “Nope.”

Another minute ticked by in absolute silence as Justin watched JC and JC pretended not to notice.

“Don't you think--” The younger man began slowly, but he was interrupted before he could complete his question.

“She's stressed out, J.” JC stopped bouncing on the balls of his feet and turned weary eyes on his friend. “The whole thing with Tony a week ago took a lot out of her, and she wasn't in the best place to begin with.”

He shook his head and shrugged, gesturing toward Justin. “So she lied to some nosy DJ; it's not that big a deal.”

Justin snorted. “Sure. Except for the part where it kind of is, to you.”

JC rolled his eyes. “I'm--”

“Cut the bullshit, 'C,” Justin said firmly.

The brunette blinked in surprise but kept his mouth shut.

“I know you're like, the most mature one out of all of us or whatever. And be that as it may, it doesn’t mean the rest of us are oblivious. I've known you for a long ass time, and I know you well. And right now I know that you're in love with Casey and--” Justin held up his hand when JC opened his mouth to speak.

“I know you're in love with Casey,” he repeated with a pointed stare, “and that because of that you're in full on self-sacrifice mode. I get it; she's struggling through something. I can see that, too. And when you care about someone, it's in your nature to do whatever you can to help them. And mostly, I think that's OK. But I'm just saying…”

He stopped, inhaled and exhaled deeply and seemed to chew on his words for a little while. JC stared at him impassively.

“I'm just saying, be fair to yourself too. And be honest with her. Tony's…” He paused and grunted. “He's got her messed about some stuff, I know. But Casey can handle your honesty; she deserves it. You do, too.” Justin shrugged, looking a bit embarrassed for the first time.

JC's expression didn't change, but he mumbled, “Thanks,” quietly.

JC stared at the TV, not seeing anything that was playing on the screen in front of him. Casey had enthusiastically insisted on watching the first Jurassic Park installment; she'd found it while channel-surfing and, not caring one way or another, he'd agreed. His thoughts were exactly where they'd been for the past twenty-four hours.

The fact that she hadn't mention the interview from the previous day didn't surprise him, but it bothered him. There were a couple of hours after soundcheck was over, when they were hanging out backstage at the arena, where he waited to see if she would bring it up. He even asked her how it had gone, hoping to prod it out of her gently. She'd shrugged, chirped out a nonchalant “fine” and continued on with another conversation. He'd let it go, but grudgingly.

With Justin's words rattling around in his head, he once again weighed his feelings for her against his fear of pushing her away. There was probably nothing positive to be gained from telling her how he felt right then. At the same time, he wanted to address the interview. It wasn't so much that she didn’t admit to their relationship; all things considered, it probably wasn't the best time for that. But it was the vehemence with which she denied it. A simple 'I don’t talk about my personal life' would’ve sufficed. Or even a straight up refusal to answer the question on account of it being nobody's business.

But he had to say something. Especially if he was going to bring up the fact that his parents wanted to meet her.

It made him nervous, more so than he would've expected considering the fact that he'd met her parents already, even before they were officially together. He'd told her when he’d told his parents about them, so it only made sense that they'd want to meet her. But after the altercation with Tony, and now her response on-air when questioned about the possibility of them being in a relationship, he couldn't quell the anxiety he was feeling about asking her.

It was the perfect opportunity to bring it up; they had a concert the following evening and would be on the road after that for four nights straight. As much as he wanted to, putting it off was only going to make him feel more anxious.

Like it was the sign he was looking for, he heard the bathroom door open.

***

"Oh, good. I didn't miss too much since Nedry's still alive.” Casey settled herself next to JC and against the pillows, crossed her legs in front of her, and picked up the bag of chocolate chips she'd been eating from.

Though she kept her eyes on the television, she could feel the weight of his eyes on her. He'd been kind of quiet since yesterday, and it was beginning to make her a little nervous. When he'd asked her how the interview had gone, she panicked for a half a second before answering quickly, and changing the subject. He'd let it go, so she assumed she was in the clear. And him being quiet wasn’t necessarily outside of the realm of normal. He was moody sometimes; he freely admitted it about himself. There were times that he just temporarily disappeared into his own thoughts. But he hadn't seemed upset or anything, and the morning and afternoon had been pleasant enough that she thought that maybe she was being paranoid.

She felt him shift closer to her, scoot down, and drop his head to her shoulder.

"I heard your interview yesterday," JC said casually.

Well, shit. There it was. Casey blinked rapidly but said nothing, instead pretending to be engrossed in Jurassic Park. “Yeah?” The chocolate in her mouth suddenly tasted like sandpaper, and she tossed the bag into his lap. “You should have some of these before I eat the whole bag.”

From the corner of her eye she saw him barely glance at the bag before placing it on the side table next to his side of the bed. She didn't want to talk about what she had said on the radio; she didn't want to have to explain it, but at the same time she knew that he deserved an explanation.

She said the first thing that came to her mind. “People are so nosy, huh?"

"Yeah, but you handled it, right?" His voice was still mild, and he hadn't moved his head.

"Mmmhmm." She kept her eyes focused on the TV, but she muted the sound and remained silent.  

After several moments passed, JC said her name softly. "Casey."

She recognized that tone in his voice. "Hmm?" She still wouldn't look at him.

"Casey," he repeated quietly.

With a slump of her shoulders, she realized he wasn't going to let it go. Feeling something like defeat, she clicked the television off and tossed down the remote. She finally looked down at him. "Yes?"

Straightening up, he leaned back on the pillows so he was shoulder to shoulder with her. He clasped his hands in his lap and peered over at her. “I didn't really expect you to just come out and admit to a relationship that we're….well, I guess we're still treading very carefully through.” He sighed, and the disappointment on his face tugged at her. “But I guess I also didn't expect you to just flat out deny it, either. At least not so...passionately. You sounded like you meant it. Like the idea of us was beyond ridiculous. And I guess I thought that, after everything, after everything recently, we were kind of beyond that.”

She dropped her head and covered her face with her hands, groaning softly. His voice, calm and careful, made her feel even worse than she already felt.

"Look at me, Casey.”

She took a deep breath and sat back up, meeting his gaze.

With a gentle almost-smile on his face, JC slipped his hand into hers and held it in his lap. "What's going on in your head right now? I mean about us? And I guess with everything else going on, maybe it's not fair for me to ask you that right now, but--" He stopped abruptly. “I'm just a little confused right now.”

"I'm sorry about what I said on-air yesterday. You didn't deserve that." She looked down at their interlaced fingers, then up into his eyes. “Nothing's changed for me, JC. About how I feel about you. About us. Yesterday was just…” She closed her eyes, using the hand that wasn't holding his to cradle her forehead.

"Yesterday I handled a really intrusive question really poorly. And there's no excuse. I still don't want a bunch of strangers commenting on us and things they don't know, but I still should've handled that better.”

He nodded slowly, chewing his bottom lip, and she saw something flicker briefly in his eyes.

"I mean, I know it's kind of late to ask, but…I just feel like…” She groaned again. “Being with you publicly is potentially going to be complicated for me. And I'm just not ready for the complication."

He watched her, not blinking, still working his bottom lip. "Is it because I'm white?" he said finally.

Her head jerked back as her eyes widened. “Of course not. Why would you even think that?”

"You have a certain image; we all do. And maybe...I don't know, maybe being with the white dude from the boyband isn't good for yours."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "What are you talking about?"

He rolled his eyes. "I know that some people at the label thought it would be a bad idea for you to open for us. I think the way they put it was that you ran the risk of alienating your urban fan base."

"How...how did you know that?"

She had never told him about it; she had never told anyone about it. The idea had come from Tony, and he went over her head to the powers-that-be at Jive. A couple of people agreed with him, but most did not. Dara immediately came in and argued her case and ultimately everyone came to an agreement that she'd join the tour. So far it had done wonders for her career, and it hadn't alienated anyone.  

He chuckled; it was a small, mirthless sound. "I know lots of things, Case. And it doesn't matter anyway because you're here. But you still haven't answered my question. If I were Black, would we be having this conversation?" He eyed her levelly.

"This has nothing to do with your lack of melanin, JC. Or my abundance of it, for that matter. This is about…” she took a deep breath. “This is about me, a woman in an industry that makes things harder on women. This is about the fact that I'm in a position right now to actually be successful long term."

Her words, while factually the truth, were also a lie in the sense that that was a rather small part of why she didn't want to acknowledge their relationship publicly. It made her feel a little bad, knowing that her half-truth came out so smoothly.

He pursed his lips and blinked a few times. "So you think that being with me will what? Jeopardize that somehow?"

Casey groaned; she knew the conversation was heading in a bad direction and she wanted to cut it off at the pass. She pulled her hand away from his and stood up to pace.

"JC, you're one of the most popular members of what may be the most popular group in the country right now. People care about what kind of toothpaste you use, if you prefer your toilet paper hanging over or under. Your fans?” She blew out an agitated breath. “They can get kind of crazy. And if it gets out about us, I get spun into that whirlwind. I love being in the spotlight because of my music, not because of who I'm fu--” She caught the sharp look he threw at her. “Sleeping with."

"Is that all you're doing with me?" he asked tersely.

She paused mid-step and rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean. Regardless of what's true about us, that's what it's going to be reduced to. That whole thing yesterday was based on a rumor; if people find out about us then every interview I do from here on out is going to be about you.

"Everything I do will be about the fact that I'm with you. And honestly, although some people will inevitably have something to say about the difference in our skin colors, that's gonna be small potatoes compared to the rest of it."

She flopped onto the bed next to him. "Lately, I've had about all the scrutiny into my love life that I can take, OK? And that's been on a very limited scale because no one who counts even knows who Tony is.” She rested her chin on his leg and made what she hoped was an appropriately pitiful face.

"People care about you, though. And they'll be interested in me because of you. And I'm just not ready for it. OK? Can you please try to see it from my point of view?"

He stared down at her, blue eyes bright and unreadable. “I understand, Casey. Don't think I don't.”

She got up and straddled his lap, taking both of his hands in hers. “I'm pretty sure there's a but coming…”

He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “I don't like it. I feel like we're lying and I don't like lying. I'm happy and--”

"JC—“ she interrupted.

"Let me finish.” He held her cheeks in his palms. “I'm happy with you, and I don't care what anyone else has to say about it. But I'll deal with it your way because I want you to be happy, too.” He slid his hands down to her hips and pulled her closer.

Casey ran her fingers through his hair while studying him. She loved the soft waves of his hair, his chiseled cheeks and jaw, and his full beautiful bottom lip. She loved his nose and the little gap between his two front teeth. And she loved the way he always looked into her eyes before he kissed her. It scared her, how very many things she was realizing she loved about him.

Before she could think about it any more deeply, she cupped the back of his neck and brought her mouth to his. “Know what'll make me really happy right now?”

Judging by the heat of his lips pressed against hers, and the intensity in his eyes, he knew.  She smiled against his mouth.

***

JC wiped the fog from the mirror and looked at his reflection. He'd felt a little guilty, at first. Like maybe he should've said more. But she was sincere. And then she was in his lap and he didn't want to fight. But maybe he gave in just a little too easily. But all in all, he was OK with things as they were. And maybe she'd been a little too convincing on the radio, but in private, between just the two of them, there was no denying that they were on the same page about each other. And that was OK. And now was as good a time as any.

When he emerged from the bathroom Casey's back was to him. Without a word or a warning, he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her up against him. When she squealed in surprise, he nipped at her shoulder.

"You scared me!” She giggled as he rained kisses on her.

"Sorry,” he mumbled against her, not sounding the slightest bit sorry.

She covered his hands, which were holding her in place, with her own and leaned back against him. "Dude, we just got out of the shower; you can't be angling for a repeat already.”

He paused mid-kiss to reply, “I can't kiss you without it meaning I'm trying to get in your pants?”

He smiled as her laughter rang out. "I'm not wearing pants, baby, or much of anything else.”

"Mmmhmm, I noticed.” He let his lips continue to roam her skin. "My parents want to meet you. In a few weeks when we get to Orlando.”

He didn't stop kissing her, but he could feel the way she stiffened slightly beneath his touch. “That's OK, right?”

Several seconds passed, her fingers absently rubbing against his, and she said nothing.

JC moved his mouth closer to her ear. “That's OK, right?” he repeated softly. “Because they really want to meet the awesome girl I talk about all the time now. And I want them to.”

He felt the way she inhaled and exhaled slowly, several times, and he willed himself not to start second-guessing his decision to bring it up now.

"Of course that's OK,” she said finally. “I'd love to meet your parents.”

He exhaled in relief. “Good. I'm glad.”

Casey glanced at her wristwatch when she heard the knock on the door. It wasn't quite time to leave, and JC had a key so there was no reason for him to knock.

"Hey, J.” She was surprised to see Justin on the other side of the door when she opened it. "JC's not here right now. He--”

“I know.” Justin smiled. “I'm here to talk to you.”

"Oh.” She raised an eyebrow in question. “Come on in, then.”

He followed her into the room. “You're not busy, are you? I know 'C’s gonna be occupied for awhile and I kinda wanted to talk to you alone.”

She nodded and gestured to the bed. “I'm packing up the rest of my stuff so you can talk while I work.”

While Justin situated himself on the bed, Casey disappeared into the bathroom. "So, what's up with you and 'C?" he asked.

The question caught her off-guard but she recovered quickly. "Ask him,” she shot back.

"I'm asking you," he replied evenly. When she didn't immediately respond, he continued. "I heard your radio interview yesterday.”

From the other room she paused in her actions of putting toiletries back into her zippered pouch. She stared at her own reflection in the mirror and mentally counted to five.

First JC, now Justin. Were Lance, Joey, and Chris were going to approach her as well? None of her dancers had said anything, but Jasmine and Lawrence both gave her funny looks when the interview was over.

Was it really that bad, what she had said? Yes, it was a lie, but no one needed to know that. No one who didn't already know, in any event. And besides, she and JC were on the same page about keeping their relationship secret. So what difference did it make if they lied to everyone else? It was no one else's business in the first place.

Justin's tone of voice wasn't the slightest bit accusing or condescending, but she found herself jumping to the defensive anyway. She put her bag down on the counter and moved to stand in the doorway.

"Listen, Justin,” she began, hands on her hips, “I already talked to JC so--”

He smirked at her. “I'm not about to attack you so you can take your hands off your hips and stop looking at me like that.”  

She narrowed her eyes and glared at the blonde. “How am I looking at you?”

"Like you wanna fight me. Settle down, shorty.” He crossed his arms over his chest, still smiling smugly.

Several months, close quarters, lots of conversations and apparently Justin knew her pretty well. She continued to frown at him but she dropped her hands.

After a beat, Justin continued. “I'm gonna level with you.”

"OK,” she replied tentatively.

"He's crazy about you, Casey.” His voice was quiet and his eyes on her earnest.

She blushed furiously, feeling simultaneously pleased and anxious.

Justin nodded, leaning back on his hands. “I know that JC can play his cards close to the vest sometimes, but you are...very important to him.”

She pinched the bridge of her nose and groaned, a sinking feeling in her stomach. “I know it sounded like I don't care about him. In that interview. But we--JC and I--talked about it yesterday, OK? I just don't want what's going on between us to be what people are focusing on. Instead of my music, you know? That's all.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “I get that, shorty. You know I do. And I get that the two of you have to figure out how to handle what you tell the rest of the world. But I'm telling you this. Partially because you're my friend, and partially because he's my brother. He cares a lot about you, more than you realize, I think. And you just need to be careful with him.”

When her eyes widened and she opened her mouth to speak he held up a hand. “Just hear me out, OK? Before you cuss me out.” He chuckled. “From where I sit, I'm pretty sure you feel the same way about him."

She blushed again, but said nothing.

"JC is…” He exhaled noisily. “He's more sensitive than he lets on. And he takes things to heart, and he takes things hard. I know that you have to protect your career and your image; you know how well I understand that. But I'm just asking you to consider how you choose to do that very carefully. And just...protect him, and how I know you feel about him, too. OK? That's all I'm saying.”

The lump in her throat rose unexpectedly as did the sting behind her eyes. She blinked rapidly a few times and cleared her throat. “You're a good friend, Justin,” she said so softly it was nearly a whisper.

"Yeah, well, so is JC.” He nodded again and stood up with a grunt. “I'm gonna leave you to your packing.”

She followed him to the door, quietly considering his words. “Justin,” she began as he reached out to turn the door handle.

He turned back to face her. “What's up, shorty?”

She glanced down at the floor and then back up at him. “I do, you know?” She shrugged, and rolled her eyes with a self-conscious little smile. “Feel the same way. About him, I mean.”

He smiled brightly. “Yeah. I know.” He patted her shoulder. “You guys'll figure it out. See you later, shorty.”

***

Nothing he had said was wrong.

Which made her feel like shit.

It was a stupid radio interview. And the DJ was too damn intrusive anyway. And who she was dating, and whether or not it was JC, was none of his or anyone else's business.

So why did she feel like shit?

She had already talked to JC and he understood; he told her so. He told her he was completely fine with her doing whatever it was she needed to do for her career, and to feel comfortable.

Except for that undefinable yet undeniable something in the way he almost didn't completely look at her when he said it. And that sparkle in his beautiful blue eyes that just kind of sparked out when he said it.

But he understood, too. He also had an image to uphold. One that, for the most part, didn't include a relationship with his opening act.

Still, she felt like complete and utter shit.

So what if people knew? Not suspected they knew. Or thought they knew. Or heard from someone who had heard it from someone else. But what if they, she and JC, were just open and upfront and honest about it? And the next time someone asked if there was any truth to the rumors, what if they just...said yes?

Without the specter of Tony's book haunting her, that all would have sounded OK. Casey Whitaker: up and coming singer, songwriter, performer, and girlfriend of *NSYNC’s JC Chasez.

She heard the slide of a keycard in the door and ran into the bathroom. She grabbed a tissue to clean up her face, which was streaked with mascara-tinted tears. Staring at her reflection in the mirror, she scrubbed then away. Her red eyes were another story; maybe she could attribute that to extreme exhaustion.

"Casey,” JC called from out in the other room. “You still here?”

"Yep,” she yelled back. “In the bathroom.”

He was standing behind her a couple of seconds later, smiling at her reflection in the mirror. “Hey. We're leaving out in a couple minutes.”

He was beautiful. Physically, yes. And that was so ridiculously obvious as he stood there in his fitted black sweater and almost comically too big and baggy jeans. His black and blue baseball cap was pulled down low, but he raised his chin slightly to look at her, so she could see the warmth in his bright blue eyes.  

He was heartbreakingly gorgeous, and smolderingly sexy. But the part that sometimes took her breath away was the part that couldn't be seen just by looking at him. The part that she had fallen for, and was still falling for, was his incredible heart. His kindness. His unassuming and quiet generosity. The fact that he was, to the depths of his being, such a genuinely good person.

She was crying again.

"OK,” she said with what she hoped was a convincing smile.

Without warning or much of a thought, she spun around and wrapped her arms firmly around him, burying her head against his chest. She shuddered involuntarily, trying to get her breathing under control.

"Hey,” he said in soft surprise, putting his arms around her. "What's wrong?”

Her voice was muffled against the cotton of his sweater. “Does something have to be wrong for me to hug you?”

He squeezed her tighter. “Nah, and I'm not complaining.”

They stood that way for a few moments. For the first time, Casey considered telling him about the book, as well as about what had happened in the hotel room months before. In the quiet room, with nothing but the sound of his heartbeat a faint rhythm in her ears, and the feeling of safety she had being wrapped in his arms, it no longer seemed so big or so bad. And then maybe, although it scared her more than the other things combined, she could be honest with him about exactly how she was feeling about him.

She took a deep breath and pulled away from the hug just enough to look up at him. “There's something--”

Before she could finish the sentence two rapid knocks sounded at the door of the hotel room. She smiled. “Time to go.” She took a step away from him but he held onto her arms.

"What were you about to say?”

She chuckled lightly and gently extricated herself from his grasp. “It wasn't important,” she said, turning away.

"Casey.”

She turned back to him. JC's eyes burned into hers and she sensed an urgency there that scared her a little.

"Seriously, what were you about to say?”

"Just, um…” She paused, her resolve to tell him the truth rapidly crumbling. The doubts resurfaced; what if he believed what Tony had written? The thought of that, and how he would look at her so differently from that point forward, made her ill. “Thank you.”

His brow furrowed and he looked at her quizzically. “For what?”

"Just for caring.” She shrugged.

"I'm your boyfriend.” He smiled. “It comes with the territory.”

She glanced down at her shoes before looking back up at his face. “It's been awhile since I had a boyfriend who took the friend part seriously, so…” She trailed off, feeling her face burn in embarrassment.

"Yo!” Eric’s booming voice sounded from the other side of the door, followed by three more knocks in quick succession. “JC! Casey! Let's go!!”

Her eyes flitted toward the door. “I better open that before he knocks it down.”

She saw JC open his mouth to say something else, but she turned away before he could say it.

***

She'd been about to tell him something. And although he believed her thank you had been sincere, he also believed that wasn't what she'd originally been planning to say. Whatever it was, it was something important; he would've bet on it, what with the way she'd almost physically steeled herself to say it. Before that, it was the way she dove into his arms when she'd turned around. Like she didn't want him to know she'd been crying. Which, even though he didn't say anything, was obvious the moment he'd seen her red-rimmed eyes looking back at him in the mirror. And while he was holding her, there were her tell-tale shuddery inhales and exhales.

She'd meant it when she'd said thank you, but there was more to it than that, and he knew it beyond any shadow of reasonable doubt. And that knowledge gnawed at him.

With a show to do in less than twenty minutes, JC shook himself to push his thoughts about Casey away, if only temporarily.

***

Casey tossed her arm over face and groaned. She was exhausted, mentally and physically. The bus rolled and while normally the motion lulled her, tonight she couldn’t sleep. Lawrence and Jazz were in the back, watching a movie. Mike had come to the bunks with her, and every so often she could hear his soft snores. But she couldn't sleep; there was far too much on her mind.

JC wanted her to meet his parents and the thought terrified her. She needed to process it, out loud with another person preferably. That, naturally, meant discussing the book. She picked up her phone and after looking at the time, she quickly scrolled to the name of the only person she could talk about everything with. It was late, but she hoped she'd be awake.

She offered up a silent thanks when Jada answered on the second ring.

"I know it's late, but please tell me you can talk right now,” Casey demanded by way of a greeting. “I'm freaking out, and I need you to tell me to calm down.”

"I can talk right now, and you should calm down,” Jada said slowly. “Is everything OK? Are you pregnant?”

"What? No!” Casey exclaimed in near horror. She pulled back the curtain of her bunk, wondering if her outburst had startled anyone, but all was quiet--aside from Mike’s intermittent snores--and dark. She continued quietly, “Why would you even say that?”

"You sound frantic and I figured that would be a good reason to be frantic.”

Casey rolled her eyes and stretched. “Let's not even put that out into the atmosphere.” She shuddered.

Jada grunted. “So what's wrong then?”

"What isn't wrong these days?” Casey snorted.

"That's dramatic, even for you.”

“I’m serious, Jada; I don’t even know where to start.”

"But you're sure you're not pregnant?”

"Shut up about that already! I'm not pregnant.” Casey frowned and shifted further beneath the blanket in her bunk.

"So what's up?” Jada asked, a chuckle in her voice.

"JC wants me to meet his parents.” Casey's voice was timid and weak.

There was a pause before Jada said, “So?”

Casey closed her eyes and cut to the chase. “Tony wrote a book about me. It hasn't been published yet, but it's bad. He makes me out to be someone I'm not. Most of it's complete lies, but there's just enough truth mixed in. He talks about how we got together. And it gets worse from there.

"The asshole couriered a copy to me when we were in L.A. Thoughtful, huh?” She sniffed. “He says I fucked for tracks, Jada. I mean, I think that part's worse than the rest of it. He's calling my integrity as an artist into question and the fucked up part is, you know people will believe it!”

Her words came out in a rush and when she was done, she inhaled as if she were going to say something else, but then let her breath out in a whoosh and stopped talking.

"OK, whoa. Back up for a second.” Jada made a small sound that conveyed her confusion. “He wrote a book about you? That's not published? And he sent it to you? How the hell did he know what hotel you'd be in? Is he stalking you now, too?”

Casey could hear the anger in her best friend's voice and it was a small comfort to her. “He probably still has the tour itinerary. But to make it worse, he showed up at the hotel. And I sorta confronted him.” She paused. “And punched him,” she finished quietly.

"You did what?” Jada exclaimed. “You hit him? For real?”

Casey laughed a little before sobering. “I was in the hotel's restaurant with JC and I saw him out of the corner of my eye. He wanted to be seen though. Anyway, I followed him out of the hotel and I yelled a bunch and punched him in the face before JC and his bodyguard could get to me.”

"Holy shit, Case! What happened after that?”

"Nothing, really.” Casey sighed, recalling what had happened next. “Tony left and I kind of fell apart on JC--who still has no idea what’s going on, by the way--and now he wants me to meet his parents. Which is perfect timing since pretty soon the entire world, or at least the U.S., will know me as R&B's biggest whore.” She pulled her covers over her face and pouted.

Jada tsked. “OK, first of all, no one's gonna think that. But what do you mean you kinda fell apart on JC, and why doesn't he have any idea of what's going on? He had to have asked why you punched Tony. Aside from him just being an asshole with a punchable face, I mean.”

"I didn't tell him about the book. He wasn't with me when I got it, and I don't want him to know. After I punched him, and we were back in our room, I just kind of...cried. Hysterically. Like snot-dripping, ugly crying. And JC was sweet and amazing and didn't ask me a million questions.

"And later we…well, you know. But, Jada, it was different.”

"Different how?”

"I don't know,” Casey groaned. “But it was like, more than just having sex or something. It felt...different.”

Jada made a small, inquisitive sound. “Different like...what? Love?”

Despite the fact that she was alone and, so far as she could tell, no one was listening in on her conversation, Casey suddenly felt exposed and embarrassed. Once again, she tucked her head beneath her blanket. “How am I supposed to know, Jada? Nik's the only guy I've ever said I love you to.”

Jada cleared her throat before speaking again. “OK, well before you deal with that, what about the book? If everyone knows Tony's lying no one will publish it, right? Can't you get a...I don’t know. There's gotta be some legal way to stop him from printing it.”

Casey sighed again. “Yeah, well. My lawyer thinks the best way for that to happen is to get a restraining order against him first. Which means I'd have to go to court to testify about what happened in the hotel room that day.”

"And why wouldn't you at this point, Case?” Jada sounded as if she were talking to a small child. “Tony's a lying, abusive asshole--and apparently a psycho stalker on top of it. Go to court. Get rid of him for good.”

Casey groaned in disgust. “I don't want to go to court. And I don't want everyone to know things that aren't their business. I especially don't want JC to know. And what happens if I go to court, testify, and he still manages to publish his stupid book? Then what? Then my career is probably over and my relationship with JC is definitely over.”

Jada cleared her throat. “People thinking you fucked for tracks isn't going to necessarily stop your career. I mean, you've said yourself that it isn't exactly unheard of.”

"But I don't do it!”

Ignoring her friend's outburst, Jada continued. "Let me play devil’s advocate for a second here, OK? I know you don't do it. But my point is, even if you did, it doesn’t change the fact that you're a great singer, you're a great dancer, and people like the overall performance aspect of things anyway. You've also said that it’s pretty much only other musicians who really care about who's writing the songs.”

Casey made a face her friend couldn't see, but she didn't argue.

"The bigger question to me is, what could Tony possibly say in his book to end your relationship with JC? He attacked you in your hotel room a matter of months ago, Case; he was literally taken out of the hotel in handcuffs. He has no credibility.”

"Almost no one knows what happened in the hotel room because I didn't press charges, remember?” Casey huffed.

"So maybe it's time to press charges, but regardless, JC's still not going to believe anything Tony says about you. No one who knows you will.”

Casey rolled her eyes and flopped over onto her stomach, bringing her face closer to the pillow. “I went home with Tony the night I met him. Remember that? Pretty similar to how I slept with JC after one kind of intense conversation.”

"Oh, come on. Two completely different circumstances.”

"Not completely, not really. I have a history, Jada.”

"Two guys that you ended up dating long term isn't a history,” Jada stated dismissively. “And even if it was, who the hell cares? Whatever you did with whoever you did it with before doesn't have anything to do with JC now.”

Casey blew out a breath in frustration. “There's other stuff he says in the book, like that I wanted to have sex all the time. And the thing is, that was never true when I was with Tony. But...I don’t know. I initiate it a lot with, JC. What if he reads it and just thinks I'm a slut?”

"Casey, youre my best friend and I love you, but you're being ridiculous,” Jada scoffed. “So because you like having sex with your boyfriend, you're a slut? Also, it wasn't like JC was celibate before the two of you got together. He's got his own history, right? And most importantly, he got to witness Tony up close and personal; he's not going to believe anything that asshole says about you.”

Both women were silent for several moments before Jada spoke. “Tony's a sick sonofabitch. I mean, I know that's an understatement, but, Casey, he showed up at your autograph signing. He wrote a book about you, couriered it to you, and then showed up at your hotel. And all this after an entirely fucked up relationship--which, by the way, started when you were way too young--and ended with him literally physically assaulting you.

"Whether he's got details or not, JC knows that nothing Tony says or does can be trusted. And more importantly, JC knows you. Everything that you've told me about him, about the two of you, for the past few months makes that clear to me and I don't even know the guy.”

She stopped for a moment before continuing. “Instead of worrying how he's gonna react if all of this stuff comes out, just tell him, Case. Seriously; whether you're ready to say the L-word or not, you clearly have feelings for him that run deeper than just liking to hang out with him. And it sounds like you guys are pretty serious. Trust him enough to be honest with him.”

"It's not that simple,” Casey said in a small voice. “I did a radio show the other day and the DJ asked if JC and I were together because apparently there are some rumors floating around. I denied it. Like, harshly. And of course, JC heard the whole thing, and I think I hurt his feelings. But, Jada, if the book comes out there’s absolutely no way in hell we can be public with our relationship.

"His fans would lose their collective shit. They can be a scary bunch anyway, but if all this comes out, they're really going to hate me and hate that I'm with him. They all think he's pure as the driven snow and I'll look like...like the skank hoe who deflowered and defiled him.”

Jada began laughing which caused Casey to dissolve into her own fit of giggles.

"Do they really think that about him?” Jada asked, when she was able to catch her breath.

Still snickering, Casey replied, “Some of his fans still think he's a virgin. Seriously.”

"Even after he dated the model...what was her name? Her boobs were so obviously fake.”

Casey snorted. “Ah, you mean AnaBeth Carvalho. The other interesting thing that happened in L.A. is that I finally got to meet her.” Her voice was thick with sarcasm. “And by meet, I mean I walked up on her kissing JC.”

"What?” Jada squeaked.

"Yeah. I don't even want to get into it. But actually, this whole thing may work out in her favor. She made it clear she wants him back; maybe she’ll have her wish soon.”

"Casey,” Jada said with more than a hint of aggravation in her voice, “stop being so dramatic. I know it's kind of like breathing for you, but seriously cut it out.”

Casey grumbled under her breath and Jada kept speaking. “Ana-whatever-her-name-is was out of the picture before you came into it, so don't make her a reason for not telling JC the truth. Talk to him. You shouldn't be going through this all by yourself.”

Casey inhaled slowly before yawning. “I need to get some sleep, but thanks. I'll think about it, everything you said.”

JC felt good.

There was the alcohol; a vodka tonic and a few beers had him warm and pleasantly fuzzy. There was the location; the exclusive club on the Vegas strip was always a guaranteed great time. Most of all though, was the warm body pressed against his.

He pulled Casey a little bit closer, let his hands slide down a little bit lower on her hips, and kept his rhythm steady. Her fingers found his and held him in place as she let him lead. He wasn’t familiar with the song, but he liked the beat and the melody was catchy. When her head rested against his shoulder, he brought his mouth to her ear and hummed along with the music.

After she denied their relationship on the radio, he’d been positive that she was going to withdraw from him again; it was the dance he’d gotten used to. He was pleasantly surprised to find that she’d responded in exactly the opposite way. She’d been more relaxed lately, and although he still firmly believed she was keeping something from him, he was enjoying things too much to rock the boat.

That night, in plain view of the other patrons in the club, she’d sat on his lap, held his hand, and danced with him. Granted, it was the kind of club that celebrities and the like frequented, and she probably assumed that no one would really be paying attention to the two of them. Still, he enjoyed having the freedom to just be with her.

The music changed and Casey suddenly turned in his arms, bringing her hands up to run her fingers through his hair. He brushed a kiss against her temple before letting her guide his head down so that she could talk directly into his ear and be heard over the din of the club.

“You ready to get out of here yet?” she asked.

JC stared down at her. “Not necessarily, but I guess you are?” He gripped her hips tighter as her hands traveled down his chest and came to rest in the back pockets of his jeans.  “Tired?”

She smirked at him. “Definitely ready to go. Not tired at all.”

He looked down at her serenely. “You weren’t joking about how tequila makes you feel, huh?”

A huge grin broke out on her face and she turned around again, taking hold of one of his hands. “I guess you’ll see soon enough.”

With a smile of his own, JC let her lead him over to where their bodyguards were.

***

His fingers made lazy circles along her hip. She trembled slightly beneath his touch and he whispered in her ear. “That tickles, huh?”

“Mmmhmm,” she hummed.

“Want me to stop?”

She turned her head long enough to graze her lips against his. “Nope.” Settling back on her side, she pressed back into him.

He dropped another kiss on her shoulder and closed his eyes, letting his mind wander as he enjoyed the simple moment. He loved how, when they were done and they had time, she would curl herself around him, until her body was perfectly molded to his. He loved post-sex pillow talk with her and that sometimes she had a tendency to get philosophical and expansive. He even loved when she was so tired that she turned over and went straight to sleep.

He’d been able to admit to himself that he loved a lot about her, and he was getting closer to the point of saying the words. Especially with the way things were going lately.

“Casey.” He shifted suddenly, propping himself up on one arm to look at her.

She yawned and turned onto her back. “Hmm?”

He ran his free hand across her cheek. “I had a lot of fun tonight.”

“Me, too.” She gazed at him with a sleepy smile. “I really like you, you know? You’re just so sweet and wonderful and great and...I like you a lot.”

“You’re still drunk, huh?” He nodded and snickered.

She giggled. “Little bit, yeah.”

“Yeah.” He kissed her again.

“But I still really, really like you. Like, a whole lot. And that’s not the liquor talking.”

“Mmmhmm,” he murmured, brushing his lips against hers. “You sure about that?”

“Positive,” she sighed. She kissed him back for a moment before pushing him away gently. “And now I’m gonna pass out.”

He laughed and lay down next to her.  “Me too, baby. And for the record, I really, really like you too.” He wrapped an arm around her and within moments, they were both asleep.

***

Casey collapsed onto a couch in her dressing room and immediately closed her eyes. She would’ve prefered a hotel bed, or even the bunk on her bus but she was willing to take what she could get--even if it was a slightly too firm sofa. A few seconds after getting comfortable she felt her legs being lifted up and dropped onto someone’s lap.

“How are you so sleepy?”

She opened one eye to see Mike on the couch with her. “How are you not?” She rubbed her eyes and groaned.

“Soundcheck didn’t wake you up at all?” He pinched her leg and grinned.

“Unlike you,” she sat up, keeping her legs in his lap, “I didn’t sleep for the majority of the drive here.”

After a two night stint in Las Vegas, they’d done a show in Anaheim the night before. Following that evening’s performance, their caravan immediately made the five hour drive to the Arena in Oakland, with the tour buses pulling into the parking lot just after five that morning.

“I thought you loved sleeping on the bus,” Mike said.

She rolled her eyes at him. “I do. Whenever Lawrence isn’t snoring.”

As if on cue, Lawrence and Jasmine entered the room and, obviously having heard what she’d said, he shrugged, looking unabashed. “Allergies. Sorry.”

“There’s food, guys. Lots of delicious, sugary food.” Jasmine took a bite out of a doughnut, emphasizing her point.

“And coffee,” Lawrence offered, raising his styrofoam cup into the air.

Casey yawned and swung her legs off of Mike. “I hope they have bigger cups than that ‘cause I need like, a gallon.” She stood up and glanced at Mike. “You want something?”

“I’ll walk with you,” he said with a nod. “Maybe they’ll have fruit.”

The two retreated from the room and down the corridor to the craft services area.

“You know,” he began quietly, “it was nice to see you all relaxed the other night.”

She raised an eyebrow at him in question.

“In Vegas. With JC, I mean. After that radio thing I figured you’d go back to standing ten feet away from him in public.”

She rolled her eyes but couldn’t help but smile. “I’m not that bad.”

“You’re worse.” He snorted. “Which is why it was nice to see you guys together acting like a normal couple. Is all the undercover-no-one-can-know-you’re-together stuff over?”

Though she knew his question was light-hearted, it annoyed her and she responded flippantly. “I don’t want our relationship to overshadow my music; that’s all. And I’m not wrong for feeling that way.” She shrugged as he made a face at her.

“Does that mean no, then?”

Casey stopped when they were a few feet away from several tables set up with food and drinks. “It means…” She sighed. “I don’t know. I had fun in Las Vegas and for once I wasn’t thinking about anything else.”

“Not thinking about anything else looked good on you; maybe you should try it more often.” Mike squeezed her shoulder and headed over to the tables.

She followed behind him slowly, feeling heavier than she had just a few minutes before. Las Vegas had been a deliberate attempt to put everything about Tony and his book out of her mind. She’d gone out with the express purpose of drinking enough and dancing enough that she didn’t have the capacity to think about any of the things that were troubling her. And it had been fun. Being with JC in public, and not hiding how she felt about him had made her feel good. And besides, Steven Tyler was allegedly elsewhere in the club at the same time; no one was paying attention to the two of them. At least that’s what she’d told herself when she was sitting on JC’s lap, and holding his hand, and dancing very, very close to him.

She wanted it to be like that all the time. But there was still no word on Tony, or the book. And other than another call urging her to consider pressing charges, she hadn’t had another conversation with Dara.   

She fixed her coffee and when she heard someone calling her name, she plastered a smile on her face and pushed all the other unpleasantness out of her mind.

***

“I’m so jealous of you right now.”

Casey took in JC’s pained expression and tried not to laugh. “I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not.”

She snuggled further down under the bedding and shook her head. “You’re right; I’m not.”

“How is it that you don’t have anything going on today?” He haphazardly pushed his hair back before pulling a baseball cap on.

“I’m not the star of the show, baby.” She grinned. “I think it’s called paying the cost to be the boss.”

“You don’t have to rub it in,” he pouted.

Casey snickered. “Don’t be a baby; there’ve been times that I’m up at some ungodly hour while you’re the one sleeping in. Besides, there’s no show tonight so as soon as you’re done, you can sleep for the rest of the day if you want.”

“I want.” He grimaced. “I guess I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Babe,” Casey called as he walked away from her and toward the door.

He turned. “Yeah?”

“If I’m still asleep when you come back, don’t wake me up.” She winked and closed her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he grumbled.

Casey groaned when, seemingly moments later, her phone buzzed from the side table. She stuck a hand from beneath the covers to grab it, and was shocked to see that she’d been sleeping for nearly three hours. She turned over onto her back and flipped it open to see a text message from Jada.

secret’s out, it said simply.

She wrinkled her nose and tapped out a quick reply. what does that mean?

check your email and call me ASAP!

She groaned, feeling aggravated for having been awakened before she was ready. Still, her curiosity was piqued so she climbed out of bed and grabbed her laptop from its case. In a matter of moments it was booted up and ready to go. She connected the Ethernet cable to the hotel jack and, after opening the browser, logged in to her personal email account. The newest message at the top was from her best friend.

From: JayDuh@aol.com

To:      GClefDiva@aol.com

I thought what happened in Vegas was supposed to stay there??

Jada

The email contained a link to a post on a popular gossip forum; registered users were able to submit content while a combination of registered and unregistered users were able to comment without censorship. Feeling wide awake, and with growing trepidation in the pit of her stomach, Casey clicked the link.

The title of the post on the page was, “Liar, Liar! Pants On Fire!”

Not too long ago Casey Whitaker did an interview with a radio station in San Francisco and the DJ asked her flat out if she and JC Chasez were involved romantically and she laughed it off and swore they were just friends and the rumors weren’t true. Fast forward to Las Vegas a few nights ago. A friend of mine was at the same club, in VIP, and took the pics behind the cut. If she and JC are just friends then it must be the kind with benefits. But I’ll let you all be the judge of that.

Four pictures watermarked with an email address followed, and although they were semi-grainy it was obvious enough that they were of her and JC. She remembered the night in question and the great time she’d had. Too great, maybe, since she didn’t recall being photographed.

In the first picture she was sitting on JC’s lap and he had his arms loosely around her waist. They were looking in the same direction, apparently laughing at the same thing. In the next image she was still on his lap and his hands were still around her; this time however, her hands were clasped over his. To make matters worse he was quite obviously kissing her shoulder. The next photo depicted them standing, possibly dancing, face to face; her hands were in his back pockets and his were positioned fairly low on her hips. His expression was intent as he gazed down at her upturned face and she was grinning happily. In the final image they were mid-stride with Casey slightly in front of JC, their fingers clearly intertwined.

She stared at the pictures with a frown on her face, twisting furiously at the ring on her finger. She scanned down the page and the first comment jumped out at her.

"Yeah. They're totally fucking."

“Dammit,” she muttered to herself, continuing to read through comments.

“JC, bb you could do so much better.”

“Guess she’s taking her job as opening act really seriously.”

“Get it, JC! I woulda figured Justin was the one most likely to be down with the swirl.”

“OMG! I love her and I love him and they’re so cute together. I hope they record a duet!”

“Casey’s cute, but his last girlfriend was way hotter.”

“Ugh, JC! Casey Whitaker is so slutty! I thought you wanted a sophisticated mama?!”

“I’d legit pay for a sex tape of the 2 of them. Hot!”

Her phone rang and she jumped, startled out of her continued browsing of the comments section. Casey flipped open her phone. “Jada,” she sighed dramatically.

“So you changed your mind after we talked or…?”

“No, I didn’t change my mind!” She glanced back at the images on the screen before turning away. “No one was supposed to have cameras or phones in VIP anyway.”

“Well someone did,” Jada pointed out with a snicker. “JC's staring down at you like he's dying of thirst and you're the coldest, wettest water he’s ever laid eyes on. And girl, you're smiling up at him like he’s the best thing since sliced bread. And by the way, what was that bullshit about not knowing if you’re in love with him?”

Casey’s stomach lurched as she pushed up out of her chair to pace the room. She groaned loudly. “Shit. Shit. These are going to be everywhere.”

“Yeah, probably. But if it was supposed to be a secret, groping each other in public was probably not the best idea. What were you thinking?”

“We weren’t groping each other. And I wasn’t thinking; I was drinking. Entirely too much, apparently.” Casey scrubbed a hand over her face.

Jada snorted. “First of all, you’re totally groping each other. In one picture he’s kissing your shoulder, and in another one his hands are on your ass. And judging by the way you’re looking at each other in the third picture, I’d be willing to bet that the last shot was taken as you were walking away to some place a little more...private.”

Though Jada was unaware, Casey blushed at the memory; she and JC had, in fact, gone back to the hotel--and not to sleep. She groaned again. “Everything just seemed so...easy that night. And I didn’t think anyone would be taking fucking pictures!” When her friend started laughing Casey said, “I’m so glad this is so fucking funny to you, Jada!”

“Don’t get mad at me because you and your boyfriend don’t know how to keep your hands to yourself in public,” Jada tittered. “But it does beg the question: now what? There’s no way you can still tell everyone you’re just friends.”

Casey rolled her eyes. “I don’t know. I just...I gotta go. I’ll call you tomorrow or something.”

“Well, wait. Are you gonna tell JC at least?”

“I just said I don’t know.” The words came out harsher than she’d intended, but she didn’t apologize. “Seriously, I need to go. I’ll talk to you later.” Without waiting for a response she ended the call and tossed the phone to the side.

Casey was aggravated; she knew it wasn’t Jada’s fault that the pictures were taken and posted, but she didn’t have to find the whole thing so hilarious. Against her better judgment she went back to reading comments on the gossip page, and more comments seemed to pop up every few minutes. She was slightly mollified to find that the overwhelming majority of the comments were either positive, or just plain humorous in a neutral sort of way, but it was also the general consensus that Casey Whitaker and JC Chasez were, in fact, definitely more than just friends.

And she was panicking.

If Tony’s book was published, with those pictures already floating around, her reputation would never be salvageable. Anyone who read it would automatically believe every word he’d written about her. She was sure of it. Photographic evidence of a relationship with JC would be all the proof anyone needed.

***

JC crossed the hallway to his door feeling almost giddy; he had nothing to do for the entire rest of the day and he was looking forward to the hours of uninterrupted sleep that awaited him.

He slipped the keycard inside and opened the door as soon as the light turned green. He was surprised to see that Casey wasn’t still in bed. She was at the desk with her laptop open, and he wondered what she was so engrossed in that she hadn’t heard the door either unlock or open.

He chuckled when the door closed and she nearly jumped out of her skin.

“Whatcha doing?” He crossed the floor to her as she tried, unsuccessfully, to shut her computer before he could peer over her shoulder--which he did. “‘She seems like the type to always want to be on top and he seems like the type to always let her,’” he read before raising an eyebrow at her. “What is this?”

She sighed, scrolling to the top of the page where the pictures of the two of them could be seen. “Jada sent me the link earlier.”

He leaned over her and a minute passed as he silently looked through the pictures, keeping his expression neutral. When he was done he said, “Well, you definitely don’t always like being on top, although if you did I would definitely let you,” before kissing her on the cheek and shrugging. “So they’re half-right.”

Casey blinked a few times. “It’s not funny, JC.”

After untying and pulling off his shoes, he took off his hoodie and tossed it in the general direction of the loveseat opposite the desk. “It’s a little funny, Case.” He smiled and turned toward the area of the room where the bed was. “And anyway, who cares?”

“I care!” she huffed. “Those pictures are going to get around and then what?” She stood up and faced him, crossing her arms over her chest.

“And then people will know we’re together.” He gestured toward her vaguely. “Some people will love it, and some people will hate it, and even more people won’t care one way or the other. In other words, it won’t be the end of the world.”

He pulled off his jeans, leaving them in a pile on the floor, and got into the bed. “Listen, baby, I’m tired. Can you obsess over this later?

Her jaw dropped. “I’m not obsessing.”

“Yeah, you are,” he said, rolling his eyes. “And you’re going to, because that’s just what you do. But right now, I want to go to sleep and I’m not going to obsess with you.”

“JC, those pictures are...they’re…” She pulled at her hair in frustration. “We need to figure out what we’re--”

“Casey, stop!” His voice came out louder than he’d intended it to and he felt bad that he’d clearly startled her.

“I didn’t mean to yell,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

She said nothing, only blinked in response.

He sat up in the bed, cradling his head in his hands. “I just spent hours dodging questions about my relationship status.” He made air quotes with his fingers. “Because I can say I’m seeing someone if they ask me point blank, but I can’t mention anything that could even remotely sound like I’m talking about you, right?

“And although part of me was annoyed because people are nosy and it’s none of their business, the other part of me was sitting there the whole time thinking about how ridiculous all this is.”

“How ridiculous all what is?” she asked softly.

“Keeping us a secret. I’m not saying we need to take an ad out, but…” He sighed. “I want to be with you,” he said in a hushed voice.

Casey stared at him blankly. “You are with me, JC. I thought we’d established that already.”

“You know what I mean.” He stared at her for a long moment. “I’m glad the pictures are out there. Saves us from having to say anything at all.”

Her eyes narrowed and she pursed her lips. “We’ve been through this.”

He crossed his arms defiantly and leaned back against the headboard. “Yeah. We have. And I’m tired of going through it. I’m tired of lying and feeling like there’s something wrong for you about being with me.”

He kept talking over her when she opened her mouth to interrupt. “I know; I said I was OK with it. And I was. But now there’s pictures of us floating around. And everyone who knows us knows--our families, our friends, and just about everyone we work with. It just doesn’t make sense anymore, Casey. You don’t make sense!”

Casey moved to stand in front of him, placing her hands on her hips. “Is this still about that stupid interview? Seriously, JC, we talked about this and you said you understood and I don’t know why--”

“I’m done. I am done hiding. I’m not doing it anymore. If you’re ashamed of me, then--”

“Ashamed of you? What the hell? Of course I’m not ashamed of you. You know I’m not ashamed of you!” Her eyes blazed in indignation as she glared back at him.

He looked at her defiantly. “No, I don’t. What I know is that usually you’ll barely stand next to me in public, if you think anyone’s looking. And I thought, after Vegas, you were over it. Finally. And I don’t get it.

“And yeah, some of it is still the stupid interview. I don’t get why, when you were asked point blank if there was anything between us, you flat out said no when you didn’t have to say anything at all. And I don’t why, now, you’re freaking the hell out over some stupid pictures!

“On the one hand you couldn’t give a shit about what anyone thinks of you, but you don’t want to admit to what we have going on because you’re afraid of what people will think about you? Or what they’ll say about you? It’s bullshit, Casey, and you know that as well as I do!

“This isn’t about your music anymore, or your career, or any of the other bullshit reasons you make up. Who cares if some of my fans aren’t happy that I’m with you? They don’t know me and they don’t know you, and their opinions don’t matter. If I don’t care, why should you?”

His voice had steadily increased in intensity and volume as he spoke and although he wasn’t yelling, he was close. He hated the way she was staring back at him in silent bewilderment. He stopped, inhaled and exhaled several times, and tried to steady his racing heart as well as lower his voice.

He gazed at her sadly. “I know this has something to do with Tony and I wish…” He rubbed his hand over his face. “Casey, I wish you knew how sorry I am about everything that asshole did to you. But he doesn’t have anything to do with this. With us. And you can’t keep using him as your excuse for the decisions you’re making about us.

“Casey, I--” he cut himself off and looked down. “I care about you a lot. A whole lot. And I think you know that. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t. I don’t want to and I just...I’m sorry.” He blew out a breath and rubbed the back of his neck.

He stared at her with a wounded expression, a mixture of anger, frustration and hurt on his face. The seconds stretched into minutes and he hated the fact that her expression was completely unreadable. He also hated the fact that he’d unloaded on her with no warning. But now that it was out, his fear was that she didn’t get it. Or worse yet, she didn’t care.

Her expression was stony and guarded and as much as he wanted to know what she was thinking, and as much as he wanted to ask her, and to stop fighting, and not let it go beyond where it was already, he was tired of budging. For her. Of pretending, for her. Of lying, for her. And it wasn’t even so much about what other people thought or what other people saw. It was the fact that if she was keen on hiding what was between them, maybe it meant more to him than it did to her. And that was something he could not handle.

Just when he thought she wasn’t going to respond at all, she walked over and gingerly touched his knee. “JC, can’t we just--”

“No, Casey. You can’t seduce me into dropping this.”

The words came out before he’d thought about them and her eyes widened as if she had been slapped. “I wasn’t...” She let out a small sound of disgust. “I wasn’t trying to seduce you into or out of anything.”

“Yeah, you were. Because it’s the thing you do whenever the conversation goes in a direction that makes you uncomfortable.” It was true, and despite the way she was looking at him, he was glad he’d finally acknowledged it.

“And usually I go along with it because it’s easier.” He wasn’t as loud, but he spoke firmly. “And I’m done.”

“Are you…” She stopped, inhaled deeply, started again. “Are you breaking up with me?”

He looked down at his lap, then up at her with somber eyes. “I’m not doing anything but telling you that I can’t do this anymore the way you want me to do it. I want to be with you. All the way.” He sighed defeatedly. “If you don’t want to be with me, openly, honestly, then we don’t need to be together at all.”

Casey blinked and, without a word, walked over to where her weekender bag was set next to his duffel. She picked it up and went into the bathroom. She walked out, stuffing her toiletry bag inside.

JC watched her wordlessly, gnawing on his bottom lip without even realizing it. She slung her bag over one shoulder, glanced at him, and walked over to the desk to pack up her laptop. Without another look or word, she opened the door of hotel room, crossed the threshold, and let it shut behind her.

He closed his eyes, threw his arm across his face and lay back on the bed.

Casey walked down the hall on legs that felt like cement blocks. Her breathing was slow and measured as she held back tears through the sheer force of her will. When she got to Jasmine’s door she looked down at her shaking hands. With a deep inhale, she balled one into a fist and rapped on the door.

It opened to Jasmine’s smiling face. “Hey! I figured you’d be asleep.” She stepped back and let her friend in.

Casey crossed the threshold. “Can I hang out here for a bit? I need to track Everett down to see if I can get another room.”

Jasmine closed the door behind her friend. “Sure, but...what’s wrong with the room you already have?”

With a defiant set of her chin, Casey slid her bag off her shoulder and turned around to set it on the floor. “JC and I, ah, aren’t going to be seeing each other anymore so I need my own.”

Jasmine blinked slowly. “What do you mean you won’t be seeing each other anymore?”

Biting her bottom lip and willing herself not to give in to the lump in her throat or the burning in her eyes, Casey shrugged. She breathed slowly, inhaling to a count of five and exhaling to a count of ten. When she was sure she could speak without her voice breaking she straightened and turned around. “It means just what I said, Jazz: we’re not seeing each other anymore.”

“You broke up?” Jasmine asked in a disbelieving voice.

Casey rolled her eyes and waved a dismissive hand. “You can’t break up with someone you’re not officially with. Whatever.” She pulled her cell phone out of her jacket pocket. “‘Scuse me. I’m gonna see if I can get ahold of Everett.”

Jasmine nodded slowly. “Sure. Yeah. Um, Mike and I are going to grab something to eat. Should we bring you something back?”

Casey shook her head, still looking down at the phone in her hand. “No. Thanks, though.” She could feel her friend’s eyes on her but she didn’t look up.

After a minute Jasmine cleared her throat. “OK, well...there’s an extra keycard on the bedside table. Just in case you need it.”

“Thanks.” Casey offered a wan smile. As Jasmine walked out of the hotel room, she found the number she was looking for.

“Hey, Everett, it’s Casey. Um, I was wondering if there was any chance I could get a room to myself?” She paused. “No, I mean for the rest of the tour. JC and I are...done.”

***

JC stared up at the blank expanse of the ceiling, tucked one arm behind his head, and sighed. He inhaled and exhaled at an even pace, counting in his head. It was calming and centering. He needed some calm and centering.

He’d been looking at same spot since for the past fifteen minutes--ever since she walked out the door. The whole scene played on a loop in his head. It was funny kind of, the way he’d felt a perverse sense of relief as he’d said everything he’d been holding back. Now, as he lay in the bed alone, all he felt was cold.

He wanted to pretend like it didn’t sting every time they walked outside and she dropped his hand like a hot potato. He wanted to pretend like hearing her tell everyone who asked that, no, there was nothing between them didn’t bother him. That all of the “we’re just friends” was totally OK with him. Not when he knew differently. Not when he was falling in love with her more and more every day.

Why, he wondered furiously, did she have to make everything so damn difficult though? There was nothing, nothing, about Casey that was simple. Not when it came to anything remotely bearing emotions. And in terms of emotions the girl was unstable as hell. She didn’t-- couldn’t, it seemed--deal with emotions. Hers or anyone else’s. Which was ironic considering her talent as a lyricist; in her music, she seemingly had no problems deep-diving into all sorts of emotional waters.  

Truth be told, he was pissed at her. For her non-response. That she’d walked out the door without a word and barely a backward glance at him. He wanted to believe that it meant more to her. That he meant more to her. But if he did then she wouldn’t have just left. Not without a fight.

So maybe, despite the things she said when it was just the two of them in the quiet dark, despite the things he thought he felt from her when they were together...maybe he just wasn’t her priority. Maybe stupid comments from strangers on the internet meant more to her than what he thought they’d come to mean to each other.

JC remembered, months earlier, when he’d first come to the realization that she had the power to hurt him. And she had. Which maybe, probably, made him the foolish one.

It was his own damn fault though; from the moment he’d encountered her in that hallway with her psycho ex-boyfriend, he’d known she came with lots of baggage.

And he’d gotten involved anyway.

He closed his eyes, finally feeling his body succumb to exhaustion. As he drifted off, he hoped Casey would stay off of his mind for at least a few hours.

***

Justin had no sooner ended the call with his mother than his phone was chirping again. He looked down to see a new message from Jasmine.

Are you in your room alone? the message read.

Yeah. What’s up? he tapped out quickly.

No reply came, but five minutes later someone was knocking on his door. A quick peek through the peephole confirmed that it was Jasmine on the other side. With a crooked grin he pulled it open and let her in.

“When was the last time you talked to JC?” she asked immediately.

“Uh, I don’t know. Thirty, forty-five minutes ago? We had a couple of interviews earlier.”

“And he was OK?”

He wrinkled his forehead in confusion. “He was fine. Why?”

She took a deep breath and collapsed into the nearest chair. “Casey came to my room a little while ago and asked if she could hang out for a bit because she needed to talk to Everett about getting her own room. So of course I was like, ‘what’s wrong with the room you already have’ and she gives me this weird look and says, ‘JC and I aren’t gonna be seeing each other anymore.’ And I’m like, ‘well what the fuck does that even mean?’ And she’s just like, ‘it means what I said; we aren’t together anymore’ or some shit like that.”

Her words tumbled out in one breath and for a few seconds Justin simply stared at her, blinking rapidly. “Wait...what?”

Jasmine shook her head in disbelief.  “All I know is she was fine last night, and you say he was fine this morning. So what the fuck could’ve happened between then and--”

“When he got back to the hotel room,” he interrupted. “How long ago did she show up at your door?”

“Maybe fifteen or twenty minutes? I stopped by Mike and Lawrence’s room before I texted you. You’re sure something couldn’t have happened earlier?”

Justin cocked his head to one side, forehead wrinkled. “JC was completely fine this morning. He mentioned being jealous because Casey was going to sleep when he left the hotel.” He paused. “She didn’t say anything else?”

Jasmine shook her head. “Nothing. But she looked like she was about to cry.”

He sighed. “Are you going to try to talk to her?”

With a snort, she stood back up. “Probably, but you know how well that’s going to go over.” She shrugged. “Mike and Lawrence are waiting on me so I gotta go. Um...if you find anything out, let me know.”

He nodded and followed her to the door, opening it for her when they reached it. “Yeah, you too.”

***

Within ten minutes of her phone call to Everett, Casey was settled in her own room. It turned out he always booked a couple of extra rooms, just in case. He’d given her a funny look when he handed her the keycard, but she was thankful he hadn’t asked any questions.

The room was a bit smaller than the one she’d shared with JC, but it didn’t matter; she was simply thankful to be alone. She fleetingly wondered if she could have a single room for the duration of the tour or if Everett would put her back with Jasmine.

JC had caught her completely off guard. She always thought of him as unflappable, and not because he didn’t have deep emotions; he just always seemed in complete control of them.

She’d only ever heard him sort of raise his voice once, and she’d certainly never seen him looking at anyone the way he’d looked at her. He was so angry. But he was also so hurt, and knowing that she was responsible for it made her feel panicky and sick.

Hurting him was literally the last thing she wanted to do, but the truth was, she was hurting, too. She’d stood there listening to everything he’d said, everything he’d apparently been keeping to himself for months, feeling like he’d gut-punched her. She could feel the hot tears sting her eyes and was thankful that she’d had enough self-control to not let him see her cry.

But now in the quiet of room, those tears were threatening to spill.

She ran into the bathroom and shut the door behind her. After turning on the shower to the hottest temperature she could handle without being scalded, she peeled off her clothes and discarded them in a heap on the floor. She stepped into the shower stall beneath the cascading water, positioning the spray directly over her head. As soon as the water hit her, everything came out. Tears coursed down her face and she couldn’t stop the sobs that wracked her chest.

This was not how things were supposed to go. JC was certainly not supposed to break up with her. Not now. Not when she was finally figuring out how she felt about him.

She hadn’t realized how lonely she’d been until she found herself involved with him. Sure, she had her dancers and their friendship was important to her. But JC got it, everything about her life, in a way that no one else in her life could understand. Because he was living it, too. The thought of not having him anymore, just to be there quietly understanding her when no one else did, filled her with a kind of dread that felt almost too big to handle.

But she was angry with him too, for being so stubborn about the whole stupid thing. Some person took pictures of them during private moments and plastered them all over the internet; she had every right to be pissed. Their relationship was no one else’s business. Besides, the people who counted--the people they cared about--knew. She had introduced him to her family for fuck’s sake. Before they were even officially...a thing. He had to know that meant something.

As for the rest of them--fans, random posters on gossip forums, entertainment journalists and radio DJs--it was none of their fucking business anyway.

He should’ve been happy that she didn’t want to parade him around like a trophy. Like she knew plenty of other women would have gladly done. The way AnaBeth had done, she thought bitterly. Casey could’ve done that, too. He was the bigger star and she could’ve milked their relationship for more red carpets, and more interviews, and more magazine covers. She knew certain people would find her way more interesting, on account of him. But she didn’t want to use him, not even inadvertently, in any way, to further her own career.

And, yeah, OK, she maybe cared a bit too much about about what other people would say. Media. His fans. But the fact was, ultimately whatever negative things they had to say would be directed to her. Because that was the way the world worked.

It was her reputation on the line. She was going to be the one that they criticized. And despite what he’d asked her, it didn’t have anything to do with race. No one who counted was going to give a hot damn about that. But they would care about the fact that she was still a newcomer to the industry, and wow, look; now she’s dating one of the hottest members of one of the hottest musical acts in the country. And how, exactly, did she managed to nab a spot opening up for them anyway? And it must be a coincidence that she was also on their label. And in what other ways was sleeping with him benefitting her and her career? And who else had she slept with to get to where she was?

And that wasn’t even touching on the book. Because as soon as that hit...

“Aaah!” Casey hit the wall with the palm of her hand in frustration.

JC was right; normally she didn’t care what anyone thought of her. At least, she didn’t care enough to let it stop her from doing whatever hell it was she was already doing. So why did it matter so much now? Was it just her career? That she still felt like she needed to prove herself? That she still felt, on some level, like maybe she didn’t belong there? Not just on tour with the biggest group in the country, but with him. Especially not with possibility of everything Tony had to say coming to light.

Of course JC didn’t know about the book--which she could freely admit was her own fault. But she didn’t want him to know, not unless she had absolutely no other choice.

She turned off the shower and got out, wrapping herself in a towel from the counter. With a steely determination she dried herself off roughly. Whether he knew about the book or not, if JC couldn’t respect her wishes, if he couldn’t respect her enough to go along with what she wanted, then they didn’t need to be together anyway.

It probably wouldn’t have worked out between the two of them long term anyway, she reasoned as she put on lotion. And whatever she thought was feeling...well, she was just glad that she hadn’t made the mistake of saying it to him.

She left the bathroom and dressed quickly, trying to ignore the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. She’d told Everett that she and JC were done and it was true.

And eventually, she’d figure out how to be OK with that.

***

It took him a moment to realize that the knocking was coming from his door, and wasn’t a new part of the dream he’d been having. Of course once he realized that, he also hoped that whoever it was would go away if he didn’t get up. He was blissfully warm beneath the covers and in no hurry to get out from under them. Plus, being awake reminded him of the way she’d walked out earlier and he really had no desire to confront that unpleasantness just yet.

Still, the knocking persisted. With a grunt and vehemently whispered expletive, JC dragged himself out of bed and over to the door. Without bothering to identify who was on the other side, he pulled it open.

“Took you long enough,” was Justin’s greeting as he made his way inside.

JC rolled his eyes and trudged back to his bed. “Fuck you,” he said with no grit. “What do you want?”

Without waiting for his friend to answer he tucked himself back underneath the covers and closed his bleary eyes. Even in his only semi-lucid state, he had more than an idea as to why Justin was suddenly pounding on his door.

Nothing stayed secret for long on a tour, after all.

Justin took a seat on a chair a few feet away from the bed. Crossing his arms loosely over his chest, he stretched his long limbs out in front of him. “So why’s Casey gone?” he asked casually.

As much as he had no intention of discussing things presently, JC appreciated the fact that his friend had chosen to cut to the chase. Maybe it meant he could get rid of him that much more quickly. “Probably because not dealing with anything is Casey’s favorite way of dealing with everything.”

He groaned, rubbed his eyes, and opened them to find Justin watching him serenely. “I’m tired, J. And I don’t mean emotionally; I just want to sleep right now. Casey’s...I’ll figure that out later. Or not. I don’t know. Whatever.”

A few seconds passed as Justin continued to watch him with pursed lips. Finally he asked, “Did you tell her how you feel?”

JC opened his mouth to kindly tell the blonde to get the hell out of his room, but stopped at the last moment. Instead he shook his head. “Not exactly. I kind of tried to, but… Some pictures of the two of us from Vegas are on some gossip site.” He grunted again and sat up.  “We’re not like, making out or anything but it’s pretty obvious that there’s more than friendship between us.

“And Casey started freaking out about it, and I told her it didn’t matter and everything went downhill from there.” He shrugged. “She says if people know we’re together they’ll care less about her music and more about, well, us. And I get that, but…” He trailed off again.

“But you don’t believe her,” Justin offered with something like skepticism in his voice.

JC sighed, feeling bad for what he was about to say. “No, I don’t.”

“Why would she lie about that, though?”

“I don’t think she’s lying exactly,” JC said softly. “I just don’t think that’s the whole truth.”

“So if it’s not that, what do you think it is?”

“I don’t know.” JC absently picked at the fabric of the bedspread. “I asked her if she didn’t want people to know about us because I’m white.”

“Seriously, ‘C?” JC made a non-committal sound in response as Justin made a face at him. “Dude, she introduced you to her whole family. You think she would’ve done that if she cared about what color your skin is?”

JC frowned. “I don’t know, Justin. All I know is that she lost her shit over some stupid pictures, and she told some DJ how ridiculous the thought of us being together is. And I told her that if she can’t be with me all the way then…” He exhaled loudly. “Then we don’t need to be together at all.”

Although JC wasn’t looking at him he could feel the weight of his Justin’s eyes on him.

“Do you really mean that?” the younger man asked gently.

JC could tell by his friend’s expression that he didn’t think so. He looked down again and rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know, but she’s gone so it doesn’t really matter anymore.”

Justin stood up. “It matters. It matters to you, and I know it matters to her. But I guess you guys have to figure that out for yourselves.” He turned to leave before facing his friend again. “I still think you should tell her how you feel. The whole truth.” With that, he turned and left the hotel room.

JC sat and stared into space. It mattered to him a lot; Justin was half right. But he was also wrong, because JC was pretty sure that it didn’t matter that much to Casey.

He slid back down to rest his head on the pillow and closed his eyes again, hoping that no one else interrupted his sleep.

"You know she's leaving after tonight's show, right?”

JC grunted as he zipped up his suitcase. “Yeah. I know,” he said shortly.

"So you're really not gonna try and talk her into coming with us?" Justin stared at his friend with wide-eyed incredulity.

"Maybe you haven't noticed, but I'm not too good at talking Casey into much of anything.” JC shoved the luggage back into the space beneath the bunks and stood up. “It's probably better anyway.”

"Better for who?” Justin leaned onto the bunk behind him.

JC rolled his eyes and climbed into his own bed. “Better for her. I think a break away from all of this will be good for her.”

Justin was quiet for a bit before clearing his throat. “That's...magnanimous of you.” When JC raised an eyebrow but said nothing, he continued. “But it's also a cop out, because I think you're both pretty good at avoiding what you don't want to deal with, actually. You kind of have that in common.”

"I told her what I wanted and she walked away, remember? There's nothing else to talk about,” JC settled down into his space. “I know you're coming from a good place, but," he sighed, "you can't fix this and neither can I. This is what Casey wants, I guess.”

Justin made a face, shaking his head. “You don't really believe that. You know she doesn't want this anymore than you do.”

"I actually don't know what Casey wants. And unless she decides to clue me in…” JC shrugged and folded his pillow under his head. “Anyway, I'm done talking about it. You're a good friend--to both of us--and I appreciate you trying, but there's nothing you can do.”

Justin nodded, but his skepticism shone in his eyes like a beacon.

JC smiled. “The bright side is, I have a lot of sleep to catch up on and now I'll have the time.” Still grinning, he reached over and pulled his curtain closed, not waiting for his friend to respond.

After a couple of minutes he could hear the younger man shuffle away and he exhaled, thinking over the conversation. It was true; if anything was going to change it would be because Casey changed things. And he didn't foresee that happening anytime soon.

He'd spent a couple of days fuming; the fact that he knew she was keeping something from him, something that probably wasn't as big a deal as she'd made it out to be in her own head, had made him angry. The fact that she seemed insistent upon making everything more difficult than it needed to be. He believed in the old adage about working hard for the things that mattered, and he would've put his relationship with her in that category. It mattered to him a helluva lot and considering the added challenge of their careers, he was more than willing to put in the effort it took to make things work for both of them. At least he would've been. Casey, however, wanted it to be impossible.

But he wasn't angry anymore, so there was that at least.

He'd gotten called to Genevieve's chair last night, and came face to face--or rather face to mirror--with her. Her head was down when he walked in the room and she didn't look up until she heard his voice. Her head snapped up and their eyes met in the mirror. It was only a couple of seconds but he thought she'd been about to say something. Eloise had stepped in front of her then and the moment was over.

But for those few seconds she'd looked stricken, scared almost. Maybe close to tears.

He hadn't changed his mind; he still meant what he said about being together honestly or not at all. But her face, and everything that wasn't said over the span of those seconds, deflated his anger completely.

In the three days since their fight they'd mostly avoided each other. And as silly as it made him feel, it was easier than seeing her. But there she'd been, sitting in a chair a few feet away from him, and everything he felt came rushing to the surface.

Ultimatum or not, he missed her. He missed her a lot more than he expected to after a matter of days. And although some of it was physical--the way she was the perfect warm fit against him at night. The way her skin was always soft and smooth beneath his fingertips. The way her hair smelled like orange blossoms when she stepped out of the shower. Most of what he missed about her was less tangible.

He missed the way her laugh was a cross between a giggle and a chuckle. He missed the way she'd look at him, biting back a laugh whenever he started rambling about something only tangentially related to whatever they'd been talking about. He missed listening to her tell him, in vivid detail, about the wild dreams she always had. He missed the way she defended him when he was the last to get the joke. And he missed looking into her eyes right before he kissed her, because in those moments there was never any doubt that she felt the same way he did.

It had only been three days, and that wasn't a long time in the grand scheme of things. But knowing Casey as well as he thought he knew her, there wasn't a scenario he could imagine where anything was going to be different. He had tried to be OK with doing things her way and even now part of him wanted to tell her he would still be OK with it, if it meant he didn't have to miss her anymore. But he knew in his heart that if he did that he'd just be delaying the inevitable. Because ultimately, no matter how good they were together, it seemed as if, where it counted, they wanted fundamentally different things.

He wanted to be in a relationship that was open and honest. He trusted her and he wanted her to trust him. But despite the fact that he'd given her no reason not to, she didn't. And he would never be OK with that.

JC missed Casey so much that it was an almost physical ache. And three days would stretch into three weeks, and soon the tour would be over and that would be that. He needed to get used to missing her now, he decided. Because the quicker he did that the less it would hurt in the long run.

He closed his and eventually the motion of the bus lulled him into a dreamless sleep.

***

Just as she'd predicted, being at home was the perfect remedy. The combination of her family, and being surrounded by nothing but familiarity brought her comfort and a great deal of peace.

Of course it had come at the expense of some frustrated friends.

"Come on, Case, we've been planning this for months!” Mike had admonished her while she'd packed.

Lawrence and Jasmine had thrown her some looks which clearly communicated their annoyance with her, and Justin had flat out asked her to come with them, even offering to help her talk to JC if she wanted.

But she'd dismissed them all, and after the show she headed to the airport with no second thoughts. On the plane, flying home, was the first time she'd felt at ease in days.

*NSYNC was slated to play a radio-hosted concert in New York City, and Casey and her dancers had planned on coming along. She'd been looking forward to three days and two nights in the City. It had been a few years since the last time she was there, and JC had talked it up, promising to show her some of his favorite places.

That had been the plan before, though.

For the most part, she'd successfully avoided him since she'd walked out of the hotel room. Or maybe he had avoided her. She wasn't sure which version made her feel worse, but she didn't give herself much time to think about it. It kind of reminded her of what it had been like in the beginning of the tour. But worse. And it was completely her own fault.

For three days following she'd spent a lot of time in her dressing room before her performances, and when she was done she headed straight to either her hotel room or her bus. Anything to minimize her chances of running into him.

Especially after the one time she had.

Her eyes are closed, which is why hearing his voice takes her by surprise. She can feel her heart take up residence in her throat, and although she knows it's physically impossible, it feels literal right now.

She's in Eloise's chair, listening to the makeup artist prattle on about a new lipstick color she wants her to wear tonight. Eloise is completely oblivious to the fact that right at this moment, Casey's on the verge of expiring in the chair.

"Come sit here, sugar,” Genevieve says. “How are you?”

And it’s JC's low, “I'm good; how 'bout you?” that makes her chest ache and stomach clench.

Eloise rummages for something and, against her better judgment, Casey dares to open her eyes. And of course she catches his eyes trained on her, in the mirror opposite her.

Two or three excruciatingly long seconds pass by where she's looking at him and he's looking at her and everything hurts and she feels like she might vomit and she opens her mouth, feeling some ridiculous yet undeniable urge to say something--anything--to him, even if it's just the word hi and then Eloise steps between Casey and the mirror and starts applying the holy grail lipcolor and their eye contact is broken and the moment is over.

She's only in the chair for a few minutes more, and after that she can't bring herself to look at him or talk to him and she scurries out of the room.

She'd gone straight to her dressing room after that and cried. Thankfully, whatever it was Eloise used to keep her makeup in place worked like sorcery and she looked none the worse for wear when she was done. She pulled herself together for her performance and immediately after, arranged for a flight to Chicago for the next evening.

While everyone else enjoyed the Big Apple for a few days, she planned on taking it easy in the Windy City. She wanted to be as far away from JC--and the mess she'd made with him--as possible, and the thought of being surrounded by her family filled her with something resembling pure bliss.

She'd been home for nearly two days and she'd kept busy enough that he wasn't occupying too many of her thoughts. Well, except for when her mother asked how he was, and if he'd come for a visit when the tour was over. And Casey could tell by the sidelong glance she gave her, that her mom didn't much care for her noncommittal responses. But then Matty had burst into the room excited about something or other and the subject was dropped.

The trick to not thinking about unpleasant things was staying busy, and she was. After traveling as a passenger for the past few months it was exhilarating and freeing to be behind the wheel of a car, so Casey volunteered to drive wherever anyone needed her to go. Even the simple act of pumping gas was exciting.

She stalked into the kitchen purposely. She'd just returned home from dropping some movies off at Blockbuster, and after she pulling into the garage, she saw that Jasmine had sent her a picture via text message of the entire group of them in Times Square. Her eyes were immediately drawn to JC and seeing his smiling face made her chest hurt. She sat in the car and stared at him until tears blurred her vision.

With nothing to distract her, she couldn't deny that she missed him. Nor could she deny that she knew she'd made the wrong decision by walking out on him that night. But she didn't know what to say to him, or how to say it, to make things make sense to him without telling him about the existence of Tony's book.

And she was deadset against doing that.

Casey took a deep breath and resolved to go into the house and pour herself a drink. Unfortunately her parents were only social drinkers, and rarely kept anything but a bottle of wine in the house. She was in the mood for the sort of drink that would knock her on her ass--and knock her out completely. Instead, she figured she'd make due with whatever wine her folks had on hand.

She'd made her way into the house and was simultaneously sniffling and wiping away tears, while fumbling with a bottle of Riesling. With no warning, her mother's voice sounded behind her.

"Excuse me, missy, what do you think you're doing?”

Startled, Casey dropped the corkscrew she held in one hand and almost dropped the wine bottle she held in the other. After setting both on the island countertop she turned to face her mother. “What do you mean?” She blinked and gestured at her glass. “I need a drink.”

Elizabeth strode over and plucked the bottle from Casey's hand. “Maybe you forgot, but you're not twenty-one yet, young lady.” She replaced the alcohol under the counter in the wine fridge.

Casey crossed her arms over her chest and huffed. “You know I drink on the road, right?”

Elizabeth gave her daughter a hard look. “I'm sure there's a lot you do on the road that I don't want to know anything about. But the fact remains that while my not-yet-twenty-one-year-old daughter is under my roof, she isn't drinking. End of story.”

Casey sighed resignedly before sliding onto a barstool at the island.

Her mother smiled. “I'll make you a Shirley Temple.”

"Sure.” A grin broke out on the younger woman's face as her mom prepared the drink; it reminded her of childhood, and the comfort of being at home once again washed over her.

Elizabeth splashed grenadine into the ginger ale she'd poured. “Sorry, honey,” she pushed the glass across the counter, “but I don't have cherries.”

"It's OK.” She sipped the drink and sighed again. "This is perfect. Thanks, mom.”

Elizabeth nodded and took a seat at the counter opposite her daughter. “So, you ready to tell me what's going on? And why you've been avoiding the topic of JC since you came home?”

Casey stared down into her glass, watching the bubbles pop and fizz. When she looked up into her mother's eyes she could feel tears stinging her eyes again. “We broke up,” she said finally.

“What happened?”

“We...well, he...I mean, I…” She groaned and inhaled shakily. “It's complicated,” she said finally.

Elizabeth stared at her, lips pursed. “Over the past couple of years you've only said that when whatever it is you don't want to tell me has something to do with Tony.”

Casey's head snapped up and she stared at her mother slack-jawed. For several seconds she couldn't think of how to form the words she wanted to respond with.

“It's not Tony,” she said finally, feeling like a liar. She added, “At least not exactly.”

Her mother said nothing, but gestured for her to continue.

“We got in a fight,” Casey said, slumping her shoulders. “I want to handle our relationship one way, and JC wants something different.”

“What do you mean?”

Casey scrubbed her hand over her face wearily. “I've wanted to keep our relationship a secret. People get so nosy and intrusive, you know? But when we were in Vegas someone took pictures of us like, dancing and holding hands and stuff. And they got posted on this gossip site and I…

"It caught me off-guard. Seeing the pictures, reading people's obnoxious comments about something that they don't know anything about and that isn't any of their business. And JC was just like, nonchalant about the whole thing. Like completely unfazed. And I...kind of didnt handle things well.”

"Well, can't the two of you find some middle ground?” Elizabeth suggested after a moment of silence.

“There is none, mom,” Casey said with a roll of her eyes. “Either we're public with our relationship, or we're not. I want us not to be, and he calls that lying. But seriously, how is keeping our private lives totally private the same thing as lying? It's no one's business anyway!” She wrapped her hands around her glass and frowned into the contents.

"OK…” Elizabeth began. “When you say he wants to be public, what do you mean?”

Casey shifted uncomfortably in her seat and took a sip of the drink. “There've been some rumors about us, you know? Like that we're together or whatever. And when I've been asked directly I've shut it down. Maybe a little too harshly at times.

"And I guess I sometimes make a big deal about like, being seen with him in public. Or at least about being affectionate in public. I just don't want people to see us and start talking. And he wants for us to be able to be out together, as a couple. Without me hiding and being weird about it, or whatever.

"But, mom, if people know we’re together, that's all anyone’s going to care about. It isn't about my music anymore; it's about me dating JC from *NSYNC and I just don't want that.”

Elizabeth stared at her daughter momentarily. “Are you sure that's all there is to it?”

"Why would you say that?” Casey hated the shrillness in her own voice, and the way her heart rate increased. Mostly she hated that her mom could see through her.

"Because,” Elizabeth drew the word out slowly, "you still have half a dozen posters of him on your bedroom wall, and I'm finding it hard to believe that you’re suddenly reticent about being seen with him in public. Especially not because of what some people you don't even know may or may not say about you. Also because, even though you wouldn't tell me what exactly was going on between the two of you, you made it a point to introduce him to your father and me some months back.

"Casey, I know you. You've never been someone who gave other people's opinions a first thought, much less a second one; you've had a very strong sense of yourself since you came into this world, and I've admired that about you because lord knows you didn't get it from me. You've always been very comfortable in your own skin.”

She leaned closer and put her hand over her daughter's. “And I'm looking at you, right now. And the way you've looked since we started talking about JC versus what you liked like when we met him backstage months ago. You were happy then, the lightest I'd seen you in a long time. And now you're back to looking uncomfortable and unhappy, the way you used to look whenever Tony was around. And I think that means something.”

Casey stared at her mom’s hand over hers, but couldn't look up to meet her eyes.

"Sweetie, I don't quite believe you’re giving me the full story. There's more to it, isn't there?”

"Yes,” Casey whispered. "But I can't tell him that.”

"Why not?”

"Because...because it shouldn't matter.” She made a face. “Because I told him that I don't want to go public and that should be enough, because--”

"Because what you want is more important than what he wants?” Elizabeth interjected.

Casey frowned and finally looked up. “No, of course not. I don't feel that way.”

Her mother eyed her skeptically. “You sure about that?” When Casey didn't reply she sighed. “I love you and I'm so proud of you and everything you've accomplished. But, Case, at some point you're going to have to grow up.”

Casey's mouth opened in her surprised and she blinked rapidly.

Her mother shrugged. “If you really think, all things considered, it's in your best interest that your relationship with JC stays a secret, and he can't go along with that, then by all means do what you have to do. I just hope you're sure that it's worth it.” She stood up, still looking at her daughter.

Casey straightened in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest. Her mother's vaguely accusatory reaction wasn't the one she'd expected and it was beginning to irk her. “So you're taking his side, then?”

"I'm not taking anyone's side, sweetie.”

"There are,” Casey cleared her throat, “things that JC doesn't understand.”

"Things that have to do with Tony, I'm sure.”

“Mom--”

“I know,” Elizabeth said, raising her hand. “It's complicated.” She stood up. “But since you've obviously decided not to tell JC either, then it's probably for the best that you two aren't together. Sounds like you want different things.”

Elizabeth placed her hands on her hips, her expression genial as Casey stared up at her wide-eyed. “Have you talked to Amber recently?”

Casey's forehead wrinkled in confusion. “What? No. What does she have to do with anything?”

The older woman inhaled deeply. "She said something you didn't like and you walked out on her, right?”

Casey groaned. "No, mom, it wasn't--”

"And as soon as JC said something you didn't like, you left.”

"That's not fair. It's not the same thing.”

"Really?” Elizabeth stared at her daughter quizzically. "Because it seems like the exact same thing to me. Things get to be too much for you to deal with and you leave, huh?”

Casey’s eyes dropped to the unfinished drink in front her.

"I wonder if you're overcompensating for the fact that, despite him being way too much for you to deal with, it took you a long time to leave your relationship with Tony.”

Though Elizabeth's voice was gentle, Casey found herself blinking back a sudden rush of tears.

"Honey.” Her mother placed her hands on her shoulders and bent down to kiss the top of her head. “I love you so much, and I just want you to be happy. If you can't talk to me, please talk to someone.”

Casey sniffled and leaned into her mom. Elizabeth wrapped both arms around her daughter and several minutes passed in near silence. Finally, Casey pulled away and stood up.

She wiped her eyes and inhaled deeply. “I, um...I think I'm gonna lay down for awhile before Dad and Matty get back for dinner.”

Elizabeth nodded, a small smile on her lips. “OK; I'll let you know when it's time to get ready.” She patted her daughter's shoulder and walked away.

Casey trudged up the stairs to her childhood bedroom. The soft glow of the not-quite-dusk light illuminated her room enough for her to see clearly without flipping the light switch. Closing the door behind her, her eyes focused on the wall directly opposite her. She'd always thought of the space as something of a visual inspiration; it was adorned with posters of some of her favorite, and most influential, musicians. She liked being surrounded with the likes of Prince, Fleetwood Mac, and Janet Jackson. And of course there, in a rather prominent spot, was a poster of *NSYNC. Framing it were several individual pictures of just JC.

She stepped closer to the wall and tentatively reached out to touch his image on one of the pieces of paper. Minutes ticked by as she stared into his bright, smiling blue eyes. Her mother's words were a disjointed, swirling mass in her head as she gazed. Looking at him in the picture, his languid happiness made her miss him even more. That a mass produced poster of him made her feel calmer and more at ease made her feel foolish for being willing to give up the real thing.

With a sigh, she pulled away from the wall and crossed the room to her bed. She peeled her sweatshirt from her body and tossed it to the floor. After shimmying out of her pants, they joined her shirt and she slid between the cool covers of her bed. She still had two days left at home, and although there would be things she needed to do once she returned to the tour, there were also things that needed to be done right where she was.

She closed her eyes, determined to resolve a few things. After sleep.

Casey readjusted her shirt for the umpteenth time; the longer she waited, the more she questioned her decision.

She’d wanted to make the phone call the previous night, her mother’s words still fresh in her mind. But after returning from dinner Matthew had begged her to play Monopoly and by the time that was over it was way too late. Instead, she’d made the call first thing that morning, and although she’d been nervous she was encouraged by the short, but pleasant exchange. Amber had told her what time she’d be home from work and agreed to sit down to talk with her.

She’d answered the door with the phone to her ear, mouthing to Casey that she’d be done in a few and to make herself at home. Only ten or so minutes had passed, but it felt like significantly more. Amber was in another room, still on the phone with her parents, and the minutes ticked by slowly. Casey had planned out everything she wanted to say, but sitting there in the living room, the sound of Amber’s voice filtering in from the other room, she thought maybe what she had to say wasn’t enough.

Before she could consider it more, Amber was coming back. “I’m so sorry that took so long. My mom was going on and on and I could hardly get a word in. I finally told her you were here and she rushed off. Both mom and dad say hi, by the way.” She took a seat in a chair kitty-corner from the couch.

Casey laughed a little. “Oh, no it’s totally fine. Tell them I say hi.”

Amber nodded. “I was really surprised to hear from you.”

“Yeah.” Casey sighed. “I half-expected you to not answer the phone. So, um, thanks for that.”

The two young women stared at each other long enough for the moment to feel uncomfortable before Amber cleared her throat. “So, what are you doing here? Back home, I mean. The tour’s not over yet, right?”

“Not yet, but the guys had a radio station event in New York, and since we had a few days off, they made a mini-vacation out of it.”

Amber regarded her friend curiously. “I would’ve figured you’d be there, too. Seems like you and JC are pretty close these days.”

Casey’s smile was wistful as she shook her head slightly. “Looks can be deceiving,” she muttered. Before Amber could ask anymore questions she cleared her throat. “Listen, Amber, the reason I’m here is--”

“I know why you’re here,” Amber interrupted. “I mean...that night, right?”

Casey nodded slowly. “Yeah, well, that’s part of it.” She inhaled and exhaled deeply once before looking down nervously. “I’m here to apologize.” When she looked back up, she could see the surprise on her friend’s face.

“I, um, I was thinking I’m the one who needs to apologize.” The blonde laughed shortly. “I got so pissy with you about JC. And then, what I said the next day…” Amber trailed off and shook her head. “I’ve wanted to call you every day since to tell you how sorry I am, but I, uh...well, I didn’t think you would answer either.”

“Guess that makes us both pretty ridiculous, huh?” Casey smiled lightly. “You know, I never thought we’d ever be sitting in a room just kind of awkwardly avoiding looking at each other.”

After blinking back her surprise, Amber nodded. “This is really awkward, huh?”

“It’s not because I’ve changed,” Casey said softly. “Not the way you think I have.”

“I didn’t mean it when I said that.” The blonde shook her head emphatically.

Casey chuckled. “Yeah. You did.”

“I was angry,” Amber said emphatically. “Jealous. Some other stuff, too. And I was trying to piss you off, but as soon as I said it I could tell I hurt your feelings...and I wasn’t trying to do that.”

Casey studied her friend before speaking carefully. “Things have been pretty weird between us for awhile now, huh?”

“I’m sorry, Case.”

“Me too.” Casey pursed her lips for a moment trying to decide which thing to address first. “You know I was going to tell you, right? About JC. I mean, I know I should’ve done it before we were in that club, but that day just sucked and I wasn’t really thinking and--”

“Casey, it’s fine; you don’t have to explain yourself. I was just…” Amber groaned. “We’d been drifting for some time, since before the tour. It was even before Tony, but when you started dating him is when it started to really bother me. He monopolized your time in a way that was different.

“I spent a couple of years just feeling like I was barely part of your life anymore, and I thought hanging out with you on tour would fix all that. All it did was show me how much things really had changed for you. And that I was right.”  

“Amber…” Casey began slowly. She wanted to tell her friend that she was wrong, but the simple fact was, everything she’d said was true. Casey’s life was different, very different, and in some fundamental ways Amber was really no longer part of it. And hadn’t been in some time.

“It’s true.” The blonde laughed sadly. “I realized it as soon as I got out on the road but I thought...I don’t know. I guess I thought that we’d spend a bunch of time together, and everything would be like it used to be. But it wasn’t like that. Especially not with Tony there.”

Casey nodded slowly. “No, it wasn’t.”

“I’ve been jealous,” Amber began haltingly. “Not of your success or anything like that, just that...I don’t know. There are all of these people that are part of your life now, and I’m not. Not anymore. Not the way I used to be.

“Do you remember when you didn’t come back to school after Christmas break sophomore year? After I got over how I couldn’t believe that your parents were so cool about you pursuing music full time, I was nervous. I mean, at that point school was really the biggest thing I had going on and you weren’t going to be there anymore.”

Casey fiddled with the couch cushion next to her as she listened to Amber.

“I remember one time trying to tell you about something that had happened at school, and although you humored me, it was so obvious that you couldn’t care less about the silly stuff happening in high school. And why would you? You were already out living, doing things most of us could only dream of.

“You’d completely moved on from everything having to do with high school and the rest of us. I mean, you and Nik were still together then, but the two of you had always existed in a kind of bubble anyway.”

Casey wanted to say something, but she couldn’t think of anything helpful in the moment. She’d been thrilled when her parents got her a tutor so she could wholly focus her time and attention on music. When she’d left school, it was true that she’d never looked back.

Amber continued. “Anyway, that night at the club...JC was just another person in your inner circle and I was still on the outside. I mean, I hated Tony, but even he was there in a way I wasn’t. Which made me hate him more, actually.” She laughed bitterly. “I sound pathetic, huh?”

“Don’t do that, Amber,” Casey said quietly. “You don’t sound pathetic.” She sighed, twisting her ring around her thumb. “I’ve realized that I’m not so great at compromise. That’s great for my career, but not so great for my relationships. And I don’t handle conflict well, which I’m sure you know by now.

“When you came out on the road, things were…” She paused, wanting to choose her words carefully. “Things were complicated. With Tony. And I was distracted. And I wish I could’ve handled things differently, but...well, hindsight is always twenty-twenty, right?”

Casey smiled a little bit. “And as for the rest of it, what happened before and after, well...I guess I have changed. Not the way you think, maybe, but you weren’t completely wrong. And even if you were, we’ve been friends for long enough that I still shouldn’t have just walked out on you. I should’ve been able to listen to you. But I get stuck in my own head, and get focused on my own problems and I have a tendency to tune everyone and everything else out. And that’s not fair. And I’m sorry.”

She took a deep breath and looked up at Amber. “You’ve been one of my best friends for most of my life. And yeah, maybe things have been different for the past couple of years but...that doesn’t change how important you are to me. And I’m sorry for not making that clear to you. And I know it doesn’t change anything that’s already happened, but I really hope we can figure out how to make things better going forward.”

Amber was quiet for several moments, and Casey couldn’t read her expression. Her nerves and anxiety came back, and she began to wonder if coming over had been a giant mistake after all.

Finally, Amber spoke. “Casey…” She stopped, sniffed a little, and started again. “I’m just, um...I’m really glad you called me. Thank you.”

Slow smiles came to their faces before they stood at the same time and hugged.

“Now,” Amber said as they pulled away and sat next to each other on the couch, “I can finally ask...how in the world did you and JC end up...happening? I saw those Vegas pictures and like I said, you two look pretty close.”

Casey blew out a breath and made a face. “Yeah, well, whether or not that’s over for good remains to be seen.”

Amber raised her eyebrows. “What does that mean?”

“It means,” Casey began slowly, “that all that stuff I just said about how I don’t compromise or handle conflict well is true, no matter what the specific relationship is.” She closed her eyes and rested her head against the back of the sofa. “I fucked things up with him. And I don’t know if saying I’m sorry is enough to make things right.”

“Oh, Case.” Amber patted her arm gently. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Casey opened her eyes and eyed her friend tentatively. “If I say no, you won’t think it’s because I’m keeping things from you, will you? Because I swear I’m not. I’ll give you all of the nitty gritty details, if you want them. Just...not right now, OK?”

Amber smiled, nodding her head slowly. “I get it.”

“Besides,” Casey smirked at her, “you have a story to tell me about another member of *NSYNC, don’t you?”

Amber’s face flushed immediately and Casey snickered. “There’s really nothing to tell,” the blonde said with a laugh. “I mean, we actually hooked up the first time when I was on the road with you. Tony was mad about something, as usual, and you went off with him. And Joey and I ended up talking and, well, you know. It’s cliche as hell but one thing led to another.” She shrugged.

“And then again in Chicago,” Casey said. “Are you guys like--”

“We’re nothing, Casey,” Amber interrupted. “I mean, don’t get me wrong; Joey’s a nice guy and I’ve had fun with him. And, um, I wouldn’t mind having fun with him again, if I had the opportunity. But that’s all it is.”

Casey appraised her friend slowly. “The Amber Durant I know would never hook-up with anyone.”

Amber rolled her eyes playfully. “I guess you’re not the only one who’s changed.”

***

“So, I think she may try to make it out to the last show.”  

“I’m glad you two were able to work it all out.” Elizabeth smiled at her daughter.

“I am, too.” Casey stood, looked down at her feet for a moment, before looking back up at her mother. “Thanks, Mom. For...well, telling me what I needed to hear, I guess.”

Elizabeth’s smile widened and she nodded. “Are you all packed yet? You should probably think about heading to bed pretty soon. I know your flight isn’t super early, but we need to leave out of here fairly early if we’re going to make it to breakfast first.”

Casey stretched her arms overhead and yawned. “I’m mostly ready. And I’m going to get to bed soon. I just, um...I have a phone call to make before that.”

Elizabeth looked back at her daughter for a moment. “Oh, well, OK.”

Though her mother’s expression was more or less neutral, Casey figured she knew exactly what she was talking about. She shrugged. “You think JC will forgive me as quickly as Amber did?”

Elizabeth approached her daughter, kissed her cheek and squeezed her arm. “You’ll never know if you don’t try. Don’t stay up too late.”

Casey watched her mother’s retreating figure for a moment, as she went into the kitchen. With a deep breath, she turned in the other direction and made her way up the staircase to the second floor. Once in her room, with the door shut firmly behind her, she dug her phone out of her purse.

She stared at it for several seconds, mentally calculating the time difference. She flipped it open, chose a name from her contact list and hit send. Her heart pounded in her chest as the line rang once, twice, then three times.

There was a pause, and then JC’s voice was in her ear. “Hi.”

He’d known it was her without looking because he’d given her a special ringtone a matter of weeks ago. It was a terrible polyphonic rendering of Edelweiss, because she’d once told him that she’d been obsessed with the song and The Sound of Music as a kid. He’d liked the way she’d giggled, recalling playing the song over and over on an old record player she’d inherited from her grandmother, and how it had driven her dad crazy.

Usually he smiled when he heard her ringtone play, but last night he’d felt what was akin to a sense of dread. After seven days of complete radio silence, he was more than a little anxious about what she was calling to say. He’d picked up the phone and held it for a moment, not yet flipping it open to answer it. He’d wondered if she’d call him to make it official that they were done; walking out on him the way she had gotten the point across clearly. But maybe she wanted to make sure he understood.

With an exhale, he’d raised the phone to his ear. “Hi,” he said softly. There’d been a brief pause and he heard her intake of breath.

“Hi.”

He’d waited and several seconds ticked by before she spoke again, her words pouring out in one breath. “JC, um...can we talk tomorrow night? Face to face? I have a lot that I want to say to you...if you’re willing to listen.”

Despite the nervous anticipation he felt just from her being on the line, he’d agreed immediately. She’d cut straight to the chase and that surprised him more than anything else.

He looked at the clock; she was due to arrive at his room in the next ten or so minutes. Anxiety had given way to curiosity and he found himself running potential scenarios through his head. Before he knew it, he heard a knock on the other side of his door.

***

Casey raised her hand to the door and stopped. Nervous didn’t begin to touch what she was feeling. She’d called him the previous night and had been surprised when he’d so easily agreed to a face to face conversation. Standing on the other side of his door, she wasn’t sure if she should be alarmed or encouraged by that.

With a shaky exhale, she brought her knuckles to the door and knocked twice in quick succession.

After no more than fives seconds had passed, the door opened and JC stood there staring down at her. He was in usual hotel room uniform: t-shirt and baggy sweats, socked feet. And as usual, she was overwhelmed with how good he looked. The week they’d spent apart suddenly seemed like much longer to her.

Casey looked up at him and tried to decipher the somewhat blank expression he wore; it wasn’t unkind exactly, but his blue eyes were guarded.

“Hi,” she said timidly.

“Hi,” he said, just as reserved. After another moment of the two of them staring at each other he said, “Do you want to come in?”

She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and nodded. “If you don’t mind.”

He paused for a moment before stepping back to let her through. “Of course I don’t mind, Casey,” he said in a small, semi-aggravated sounding voice. “I never wanted you to go in the first place.”

She deserved that, she knew. She was the one who left after all. And now...now she was back. With what? A piddly apology and a hope that he would accept it and it would make everything better?

“Have a seat,” he said, gesturing toward the couch.

Far away, she noted with some consternation, from the bed. Not that she was in anyway even remotely thinking about sex, but they had a tendency to do a lot of their talking on beds. Side by side, holding hands or touching in some way. And this time...well, he offered her the couch and pulled a chair up opposite the coffee table in front of it. He was clearly, and not at all subtly, keeping physical distance between them.

She was out of her element, again. There she was, for the second time in the same week, being the person to try and patch things up. There she was, sitting in JC’s room because she decided to be mature and to confront the problem head on and address everything with him. And now she had nothing to say. Sitting right in front of him, there were literally no words. And what the hell was that all about? She was never without words. Even at times when she probably needed to be silent, she had something to say.

It had been easier with Amber, mostly because Amber was so obviously happy to see her, and willing to meet her halfway. But JC just sat quietly in his chair, on the other side of the table which, she reasoned, may as well have been on the other side of the room, left ankle resting on right knee, right arm casually draped across the back of the chair, left arm resting in his lap. Content, or so it appeared, to let her take the lead. His entire posture was relaxed and yet, in addition to the physical distance between them, she sensed a certain amount of emotional distance as well. But his expression was mild, possibly slightly interested, but only in a vague, not overly concerned or excited sort of way.

There was something behind those blue eyes. She had spent enough time over the past several months looking at them, to know that he hid a whole lot beneath their placid surface. But she had no idea what it was. There was a kind of calm expectancy in his entire stance, as if he were waiting for her to say something. And she figured that made sense since she had knocked on his door and was now sitting across from him, staring dumbly. She cleared her throat.

“I, um…” She closed her eyes and smiled self-consciously. The truth was probably the best way to begin. “I don’t know what I’m doing here, JC.” She looked up at him.

He pursed his lips and shrugged slightly. “You can leave again, if you want.”

Well, damn. He was not going to make this easy, was he? She shook her head quickly. “No. That’s not what I mean. I…” She rubbed her palms on her jeans and stood up. She always thought better in motion. Her mother hated it, her tendency to pace while talking. But right now, the only way the words were going to come out was if she was moving.

“I don’t know how to do this because I usually don’t. Like, come back and apologize and…”

This shit was not coming out the way she wanted it to. She peeked at him and he still sat the same way, now right leg jigging up and down lightly. But his expression hadn’t changed, still held only mild curiosity.

She walked back and forth. “I’m not ashamed of you, JC. In any way. OK? Not at all. Not even a little bit. And I’m sorry that I made you feel like I am. This is…” She rubbed her hands over eyes, still pacing. “I know I’ve been...weird. And you’ve been...amazing. You’re always patient and sweet and just…”

Casey groaned. “You’re one of the kindest, most generous people I’ve ever met in my entire life. And you’re just this genuinely good person with a kind soul in an industry where so many people are just, well...assholes. And you’re the same with everyone. I mean it’s not just me; I’ve watched you with your fans, and it doesn’t matter if it’s three o’clock in the morning and you’ve had no sleep, you’re just so unbelievably nice and I just…” She trailed off, knowing that she wasn’t getting to the point of what she wanted to say. Her words were pouring out in a disjointed tumble and she just hoped he could understand what she was trying to say.

It was a wonder, she had marveled on a number of occasion, how she managed to convey her feelings lyrically, because trying to talk it out was an absolute mess. She was not, however, going to look at him, not once, while she was talking. Because then, she knew, she may lose her nerve and hightail it out of there and lose whatever slim chance she had to fix things.

“It’s not you, JC; it’s me. And I know that sounds like so much cliche bullshit, but it’s true. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. There is absolutely nothing wrong, for me, about being with you. I love being with you. In every way. And I would...I would love to be with you...publicly. And not care what anyone else thinks or says. But...it’s not that simple and--”

“Casey.”

He spoke so quietly, and she was pacing so mindlessly and speaking so rapidly that she almost didn’t hear him. She whirled around to face him. He was no longer leaning back in the chair; both feet were planted on the floor and he was sitting on the edge of his seat with his chin propped in his hand.

She was moving nonstop, from one end of the relatively small room to the other. Back and forth, from one wall, turn, and back again to the next. And as she walked, she twisted her ring furiously.

"Y-yes.” She stopped, eyes wide, again wondering what he was thinking.

His face had the ghost of a smile on it, and his eyes were sparkling, but narrowed.

“You’re making me dizzy,” he said with barely concealed amusement in his voice.

“Huh?” Her face twisted in confusion. “Oh. The pacing.”

He nodded. “Yeah. The pacing.”

“It drives my mom crazy.” She shrugged and laughed nervously.