Madison wrapped her coat tightly around her as she stepped out of the restaurant.

It's so cold tonight. She thought as she slipped her hands into her gloves.

She loved living in Missouri but she hated the winters. The biting cold against her face causing her eyes to tear up.

I need to move somewhere warm.

This was the same thought she had every winter but when spring came, she would fall in love with Missouri again and stay. The same endless love/hate cycle every year.

Maybe one day I will have a reason to leave.

She saw her car and thought about the wonderful heat that would surround her on her drive home. She stopped abruptly when she noticed the male figure leaning against her car. Who is that?  Her heart began to beat faster in fear. She contemplated running to safety when the stranger turned to face her. Her heart stopped momentarily. She never thought she would see him again. She wasn't sure she wanted to see him again.

                "What are you doing here?" She asked coldly.

                "I came to see you." Josh answered with a smile on his face only to fade away when he noticed the icy stare on Madison's face. "I miss you, Madison."

                "Oh. Really?" She laughed in his face. "What are you really doing here?"

                "I told you. I miss you." He replied but he saw only anger in her eyes. "I'm here working on something." Getting you back.

This was not going as he had planned. The anger in her eyes scared him. She never looked at him that way before. He wanted her to look at him with love again like she used to look at him.

I really screwed up.

                "Oh." Madison began to shiver. Partly from the cold and partly from being face to face with Josh. "So why are you standing in front of my car?"

                "I told you. I miss you. I wanted to call but I know you wouldn't answer so I thought if I showed up..."

                "I wouldn't be able to resist and go flying into your arms?" Madison pulled her keys out of her purse but Josh blocked the driver door refusing to move. "Listen, it's cold. I just want to go home and get warm. It's been a long, crappy day and you aren't making it any better."

                "Madison, I'm sorry. I screwed up. I know that. I have spent the last year beating myself up and I will do anything to make things right." Josh reached out for her only to have her pull away.

                "I heard you moved on. Rather quickly in my opinion." Madison snapped. The day she left him, she had seen a picture of him with some busty brunette on the internet.

He ripped my heart out and now he was apologizing? I'm supposed to forgive him after everything he did to me?

                "I tried to move on. I saw other women but I was never happy. I realized I was unhappy because I was always comparing them to you. I want you. I don't want anyone else. I will do whatever I have to do to get you to trust me again. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I let you go. I'm sorry for what I did to you. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry I'm an idiot. I'm sorry."

                Madison stood staring at him for a few minutes. Madison didn't feel the cold anymore. She felt heat. The heat of anger rising in her body.

                "You left me! I needed you and you left!" Madison yelled at him as she began to push him hard against the car. "Make things right? Nothing will make things right. I hate you! I hate you for not being there. I hate you for not wanting to be a part of something we created! I hate you for moving on so quickly as if I was just another one of your conquests. Five years! You threw all of that away! Now, you stand in front of me wanting to make things right? I'm supposed to just say ok and act like none of that happened?! It's not so easy. I'm not one of those groupies that will let you walk all over them just because of who you are or who they think you are. I hate you. Just leave me alone."

She stopped pushing him and began to sob heavily into her hands as all the pain she locked up inside for the past year came flooding out of her. Josh stood helplessly watching the woman he loves in so much pain because of him and there was nothing he could do. He had never seen her cry. He reached his arms out to envelop her as she sobbed into his chest.

"Let me try to make things right. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He repeated as he buried his face in her hair.

"Josh?" Madison pulled away and looked at him. Oh, no. She couldn't stop it. She tried to step away but she couldn't step away far enough in time. She cried so hard she made herself sick. Oh, no. She thought again as all of the emotions came out of her and onto his shoes.

"Madison?" Josh looked at his shoes then at her. She looked pale. "It's ok." He slipped out of his shoes and threw them into the nearest trash bin. Walking in only his socks, he took her keys from her and helped her into her car's passenger seat. "It's ok." He assured her again as he slipped in behind the wheel. He kissed the top of her head before driving towards her house.

Madison opened her eyes to see a pair of blue eyes staring back.

"What are you doing here?" She asked as she sat up in the bed.

"Are we going to go through all of that again? I don't have any shoes for you to throw up on but maybe you can get the rest of me this time." Josh joked.

The night before came back to mind.

"Wait a minute! How did you find my house? If I remember correctly, you drove."

"Lance." Madison kept in contact with Lance after the split and he had even come to visit her a few times. He helped her through some tough times. "He told me where you live and....well...I drove by here a few times before to see if you were ok. I tried to work up the nerve to knock on the door but I chickened out every time."

Madison attempted to stand up but she felt weak and stumbled back.

"Whoa. Lay down. You feel warm. I think you are getting sick." He pressed the palm of his hand on her forehead.

"I'm fine. You don't have to stay. Just...Josh, I don't need this right now. I was starting to get over the loss and you are just bringing all the pain back. You need to go."

"No!" Josh protested. Madison looked at him in shock. "I am not leaving. Damn it! Just give me a chance! I know I can't fix what happened. I can't take it all back. If I could, I would. I...." He sat beside her in bed. "I love you. I know I've told you that before and I panicked when you told me you were pregnant. I pushed you away and when you lost the baby, I just ran. I will always regret that but now I want a chance to show you that I can love. I will never leave you again. I just need you to give me a chance. "

"Why? So you can feel better about yourself? Then what? Go back to Brunette Sugar Tits that kept you warm while my heart was being ripped out of my chest?" Madison attempted to get out of bed again.

"Lay down!" Josh yelled as he forced her to lie down. "I'm not leaving you. I am here. I'm with you now and I'm not leaving. You just need to get that through your thick skull and stop fighting me! I am sorry. I was crazy with fear. I didn't know if I could handle being a father and a husband."

"Did I ask you to marry me?! Did I ever ask you to marry me?! Never once did I bring up the word marriage. When I found out I was pregnant I didn't expect you to marry me. I expected you to stay but not once did I want you to marry me. I only wanted you to tell me everything would be ok. I was so scared. I wasn't ready to be a mother. Especially alone."

"Madison, I...."  

Madison wanted to punch him but her anger subsided.

He's crying. Is he serious?

"Madison, I...I feel lost without you. I need you. Let me show you that I can be the man you needed me to be."

"I'm tired." Madison sighed.  "You can stay here but I don't trust you enough to be with you right now. I don't know if I ever will but...you can stay here until...."

Josh nodded thankful for even one more day. He had to convince her of his love for her. He needed to convince her.

"Can you get me some juice?" Madison asked.  

What am I doing? Madison thought as she watched Josh walk away. I should make him leave.

"Here." Josh handed her a glass of juice and made himself comfortable beside her. "I'm just going to sit here in case you need anything else."

I'm going to need a strait jacket and a padded room. This is crazy. Madison thought to herself as she drank her juice in silence while Josh watched TV. 

Josh decided to explore the house while Madison slept. He went into the living room and perused the photos sitting on the mantle above the fireplace. There were pictures of her with her parents, her friends, and a guy he didn't know.  His heart sank.

Is she seeing him? No, she wouldn't let him stay if she was involved with someone else. She wouldn't do that. She looks happy in the picture. Is she looking at him with love in her eyes? Maybe it's too late.

"That's a guy I was seeing. We broke up yesterday. I guess I should take that off the mantle." Madison informed him as she took the picture and put it into a drawer.

Josh couldn't help but feel pleased about the break up. He took it as a sign that they were meant to be back together.

"What happened?" He asked hoping she wouldn't hear the pleasure in his voice.

"Things just didn't work out." Madison answered looking away.

"Madison." He knew she was hiding something. "Tell me the truth."

"He wasn't you." She whispered as she looked down at her feet.

"What was that? I couldn't hear you." Josh grinned as he stepped closer to her.

"He wasn't you. OK? There. I still have feelings for you. But I will not allow you to hurt me again. I will..." Madison was stopped by Josh's lips pressed against hers. She tried to push him away at first but it was no use. She wanted him to kiss her. She wanted to feel his arms wrapped around her. His kiss haunted her dreams since they ended things. Dreams that were so real she would wake up expecting him there only to be reminded that he was gone.

"Stop." She pulled back and looked at him. Weak! So weak! She berated herself.

"Sorry. I couldn't control myself." He apologized but he didn't want to stop.

"It's not just you. I just want to go slow. Really slow. Ok? We need to work through some things before we even think of having any type of relationship. Ok? We need to slow down. Slow down." She was trying to convince herself more than she was him.

"Whatever you want to do. You are in charge. I will do anything you want me to." He nodded in agreement. "Let's get you back to bed. You don't look too good. I mean you look beautiful just pale."

"Thank you for taking care of me." Madison smiled. "I don't feel too good."

"What can I do to make you feel better?" Josh asked as he tucked her into bed.

Madison smiled wickedly causing Josh to smile as well.

"Hey, slow remember?" He reminded her despite wanting to act on the thoughts in his head.

"Yes. Slow. But can you lay here with me? I miss being held."

"As you wish, my queen." He laid down next to her and pulled her close to him so her back was against him. He kissed her softly on her head. "So....lover boy didn't hold you?"

Madison laughed out loud. Josh missed hearing her laughter.

"He did but it didn't feel...right." Madison turned to stare up at him seriously.

"You looked happy in the picture." He choked out. "Did you love him?"

"I don't even know if I believe in love anymore. I was with him for only six months. He seemed nice but..." She trailed off.

"But what?" He asked with concern. I want to beat him for being with my Madison.

"He wanted more than I wanted to give him." Madison sighed. "He was angry about that and took it out on me so I broke it off with him."

"Took it out on you?" Josh asked as he turned Madison to face him only to notice the marks on her chest. "He hit you?"

"He pushed me. That's when I ended things." Madison sighed.

Josh and Madison laid in silence for a few minutes.

"I'm sorry. If I didn't...you wouldn't...." He said pulling her closer as if he was trying to shield her from any further pain. "I won't let you hurt anymore."

"Josh, you hurt me most." Madison said before falling asleep leaving Josh to stew in the pain that statement caused to his heart.

Josh felt Madison moving next to him. He opened his eyes to see her getting out of bed. She wobbled as she stood up.

                "Where are you going?" He asked sternly. "You. Back in bed. Now."

                "I need to use the bathroom. Besides I feel fine." She faintly smiled as she turned to walk to the bathroom. 

                Stubborn. So stubborn. Josh thought to himself as he shook his head. Before his head hit the pillow, he heard a crash in the bathroom. He jumped out of bed and ran towards the bathroom finding her leaned up against the bathroom counter surrounded by shattered glass.

                "I'm so clumsy. I dropped my glass. I can't believe...." Josh flew beside her in time to stop her fall. He picked her up and carried her to the bed. Returning to the bathroom he found a thermometer. He took her temperature and found it was getting dangerously high.

                "Madison, let's take off your clothes." He stated as he began to remove the layers.

                "This is going to be fun." Madison giggled. She was starting to get delirious. Josh quietly laughed as he removed the last layer of clothing. She lay there completely naked and it was getting difficult to control himself. Focus. Need to cool her off. He went into the bathroom to get a basin of cold water and a washcloth. He gently ran the cold washcloth on her body. "I love you, Josh."

                He stopped for a second wondering if it was her or the fever talking. I'm going to take it as her talking.  

                A few hours passed before she was down to a normal temperature. He watched her as she slept. He took in every inch of her wanting so much to touch her intimately. He wanted to bring her pleasure but he knew it wasn't the right time. He had to wait for her to make the move. He was willing to wait forever.  What happened? He asked himself as he replayed their relationship in his head.

                They met through a mutual friend at a dinner. Josh was seated next to her at the table and from the moment she smiled at him introducing herself to him, Josh was hooked. There was something special about her. They spent the whole night talking then the next day and the next day. He couldn't get enough of her. Four years passed when she told him she was pregnant. He was happy but scared. Was he ready for this? He started pushing her away by making excuses to not go to appointments with her, not answering her phone calls, and staying out late for "work." He was really seeing other women. When she was six months along, she went into labor. The baby didn't survive. She tried to call him but he didn't answer as he was with someone else that night. Lance drove her to the hospital. Lance drove her from the hospital. She packed up her belongings and moved back to Missouri. He returned home to emptiness not only in the home but his heart. He began seeing someone else in an attempt to fill the void but to no avail. He finally broke down and asked if Lance had heard from Madison. Lance hesitated but he finally broke down and gave Josh her address. He drove to Missouri and found her house. He made numerous trips to her house but only drove by having only glimpses of her from the windows. A year passed and he finally worked up enough nerve to face her. He couldn't let her slip away forever. 

                He moved closer to Madison and gently kissed her face. She looked so peaceful. He ran his hand down to the scar on her abdomen and thought about their baby. He reached into his pocket and pulled his wallet out. Taking out the picture of the last ultrasound, he sighed. She left it on the refrigerator when she left. He spent hours staring at it wondering how things would have been if he stayed and been more supportive.

                "You kept it?" Madison asked with tears in her eyes.

                "Yes." He answered as he continued to stare at the ultrasound. "I wish things were different."

                "Well, I'm hungry." Madison stated as she rolled out bed to shower. Josh knew she wanted to avoid talking about the loss. Lance told him that it was really difficult for a few months. He worried about her health as she was not taking care of herself. Lance would stay with Madison for a while to help her. Six months ago, Lance called Josh saying she was in the hospital. Madison didn't know but Josh went to the hospital a few times. Lance would text him to let him know she was sleeping then he would leave before she woke up. I should have let her know I was there. No, it's better she doesn't know.

                Madison stepped into the room wrapped in a towel. Josh watched her intently as he tried to catch his breath. So beautiful. So inviting. Before he could think about his actions, he was standing in front of her taking the towel off and pulling her to him. He passionately kissed her as he led her to the bed laying her back as he worked on taking his clothes off. Madison drank him in before he was on top of her showering her body with kisses. Madison softly moaned as he entered her slowly. Their two bodies intertwined in ecstasy.

                "I've dreamt of this moment." Josh seductively said to Madison staring into her eyes. She let out another moan.

                "Now, Josh." She whispered as the two climaxed together. He kissed her before he exhaustedly laid his body down on her. She lay with her arms wrapped around him breathing heavily. "I love you." She whispered into his ear.

                "I love you, too. Let's get married."  He suggested as he looked down at her. "I don't want anyone else. I want to experience everything with you. I want you to be the mother of my children. I want to spoil our grandchildren together. I want you to be my wife."

                "Wow. So much for taking things slow." Madison laughed nervously. Now she was the one unsure of making such a commitment. "How about we revisit this later. Much later. I don't want this to be out of passion. I want this to be real."

                "It is real." He confirmed as his arms tightened around her. "But I will wait until you are ready. All you have to do is tell me."

                "Deal. You are wonderful. It makes it hard to stay mad at you." She kissed him. "Now can we get something to eat?"

                Josh laughed before getting up and helping her off the bed.

                "Where to?" He asked as he got dressed. "Oh. I have no shoes."

                "Right. Um, I have some you can wear." She ran to the closet.

                "I don't think..." He grinned as he followed her. She handed him a pair of shoes.

                "I accidentally took them when I left." She noticed the questions on his face. "I didn't get rid of them because it made me feel as if you were still around. I missed you."

                Josh smiled as he slipped them on his feet. He then pulled her onto his lap.

                "I'm happy I had the courage to face you. I feel whole again." He thoughtfully told her. "I don't want this to ever end again."

                Madison smiled before getting up and taking his hand.

                "I need to eat. Ready?" He nodded in understanding as he followed behind her. She was the scared one now and he had to be careful or she will be the one running from him.

"What can I get you?" The waitress asked.

                "Hmmm....I'm famished. I will have two eggs scrambled, three pieces of bacon, toast, hash browns, two pancakes, and a cup of coffee." Madison ordered.

                Josh laughed.

                "I will have the same." The waitress took the menus and smiled at Josh flirtatiously.

                "I'm sure she would love to serve you something more." Madison laughed. "Oh, Josh, come stir my grits."

                Josh laughed as he took her hands in his.

                "Your grits are the only ones I want to stir." He kissed her hands. "Madison?"

                "Yes, Josh."

                "Do you ever wonder what would have happened? If we had the baby."

                "Let's not dwell on that. It can't be changed. Let's just focus on now." Madison looked out the window.

                "I want to talk about it." He turned her face towards him. "I need to talk about it."

                Madison didn't like bringing the baby up but she could see the pain in his eyes.

                "What happened to our baby?" He asked solemnly.

                "She was stillborn. I didn't feel her moving the day before. I was told that sometimes you don't feel the baby move but it doesn't mean something is wrong. Then when I still didn't feel her the next day, I tried to call you. You didn't answer your phone. I tried several times but you never answered. So I called Lance. He came right over and drove me to the hospital. He tried to call you, too, but still no answer. The cord was wrapped around the baby's neck and she had died. They performed a C-section and Lance drove me back home a week later. You were gone."

                "Madison, I'm so sorry. I should have been there." He looked down at their hands. The waitress came over with their food.

                "Stop apologizing. Things happened as they should. You weren't ready for all of that and maybe I wasn't either."

                "Yea. Maybe. So enough of that. What is the plan today?" Josh asked as he began eating.

                "I don't know. How about I show you around town? There's not much to it but it has its charm."

                "Well, you're from here so it must be great." He winked.

After spending the day looking at local shops, museums, and parks they returned home exhausted.

                "I can see why you like living here. It's a beautiful town." Josh flopped himself onto the couch.

                "Yes. It is great. It's my safety net." Madison smiled as she flopped down next to him. "I hate the cold but I can't imagine living anywhere else."

                "Oh?" Josh put his arm around her. "This is where you want to stay for the rest of your life?"

                "I don't really have reason to leave. I always pictured my children growing up here."

                "OK. I can always fly to where I need to go for work." Madison turned to look at him. "I know. Slow it down."

                Madison laughed.

                "I think I should be honest with myself." Madison started as she pulled him close. "I'm having trouble keeping things slow."

                Josh began planting kisses on her neck as she spoke.

                "I want you to take me into the bedroom." Madison softly requested as she was taken into his arms.

                He continued showering her with kisses as he set her on the bed. He felt the passion rising as she turned him on his back.

                "Josh, I want you to stay with me. Let's try again. I can't keep pretending I don't want this and I..."

                "Are you sure? I don't want this to be passion but the real thing?" He threw back at her with a big smile on his face. Madison laughed as she kissed him zealously wanting to taste him on her lips and take all of him into her.

                "I'm sure." She breathed heavily before she was thrown onto her back to be taken by Josh. He thrust into her ferociously trying to quench his endless thirst for her. He wanted to make her scream with pleasure. With every moan from Madison the harder his thrusts.

                "Tell me you love me." He whispered in her ear.

                "I love you."

                "Tell me again."

                "I love you." They both exploded with passion. "I love you."

                "I love you, too. More than you will ever know." Josh smiled as he laid his head on her chest hearing her heart beat rapidly. "I want to make sure you never doubt that again."

                "I never want to doubt it again."

Josh stayed for another month only to have to return to LA for work. He called Madison daily. Sometimes three or four times a day just to tell her he missed her or tell her something that amused him. Madison was back at work as well. She worked as a criminal investigator which was exciting except when it involves someone you have known your entire life.

                "Hey!" Madison exclaimed into the phone.

                "Hey! How is your day going?" Josh asked.

                "I'm glad you called. We need to talk about something."

                Josh became terrified.

                "Can it wait? I'll be home in two weeks." He asked trying to put off the bad news he was sure she was going to give him.

                "No, I want you to know right away and its better this way. I'm pregnant."

                There was silence on the other end.

                Well, here he goes again.

                "That's great!" His voice came back on the other end.

                "Is it?" Madison was still unsure.

                "Yes. Of course! When I come home, we can celebrate."

                "OK. Listen I have to go back to work."

                "OK. Trust me. I'm not bailing again." He assured her.

                Madison hung up still feeling unsure about what would happen. All she could do was make sure this baby was ok.

 

                Josh was quiet after receiving the news. He could feel the old fears coming into his head again.

                Pregnant. I'm going to be a dad. I'm going to be a dad. He kept repeating to himself. Each time he told himself that, he became more nervous. Stop! I can't do this to her again.

                He grabbed his keys and went for a drive. He didn't know where he was going but he just needed to collect his thoughts. He needed to think of what to do next.

                I'm not ready. I'm not ready for this. I don't want this. I won't be a good father. I won't be a good husband. I feel trapped.

                He found himself stopped in front of Meagan's house.

                Don't do this again. He chastised himself. Damn it!        

                He walked out of the car and to the front door. He lifted his hand to knock but hesitated as his phone rang. He rushed to his car seeing it was Madison but rather than answer he let it go to voicemail.

                I'll call her back later.

Madison attempted to call Josh again. Two weeks passed and he still wasn't home. She had no contact with him since she told him about the pregnancy.

                Give it up, Madison. He's gone again. She threw her phone on the bed. How stupid of me to believe he would be here.

                She laid in bed thinking about what to do now. She could raise this child alone. She had to find a different job but she could care for her child. She knew a lot of single parents and they managed. She was strong. Or was she?

                No, I can do this. I will love our child enough for the two of us. It's his loss. He's the one that is going to miss out. Good riddance. Madison got out of bed to shower and head to work. I can do this!

               

                Josh pulled into the driveway. She was waiting for him. He could see her through the living room window gathering her things. He knew this was what he really wanted. This was the best thing for him. He exited his car and walked towards the front door. He stopped momentarily and took in a deep breath. This is it.

                He opened the door and saw her still gathering her things. He watched her quietly.

                "Josh!" Meagan smiled as she walked up to him. "I'm so glad you're here."

                "Hi." He greeted with a hug. "Are you ready?"

                Meagan nodded as she grabbed her bags. She locked up her home and followed Josh to his car looking forward to what was to come.

                "I'm sorry I'm late. I've been dragging my feet lately." He apologized as he headed out of her driveway.

                "No problem. I wouldn't have been ready. So have you told Madison yet?"

                "No. I haven't spoken to her since..." He trailed off.

                "You should probably tell her." Meagan reached for his hand. "She should know."

                "Meagan, I will tell her soon." He squeezed her hand before letting go. They drove the rest of the way in silence.

Madison was getting ready for bed when a car lights beamed through the window of the living room.

                Who is that? She reached for her gun as the door handle jiggled.

                'Who is it?" She called out.

                "It's me." Josh answered as he stepped in. "The key got stuck."

                Madison stood looking at him still holding the gun up towards him.

                "Whoa. Madison, I know you are mad but can you put the gun down?" He cautiously stepped towards her. Madison shook herself out of the shock and lowered the gun.

                "What are you doing here? It's been three weeks. You haven't returned any of my calls since I told you about the baby. Why are you here?"

                "Madison, I know but it's not what you think."

                "Oh, really? Please, inform me on what was really going on." Madison sat down at the kitchen table.

                "I admit I freaked out. I didn't mess around on you but I did do some thinking." He sat across from her at the table. 

                "Hey, Josh!" Meagan walked in. "Oh, sorry."

                "Who the hell are you?" Madison was close to flying across the kitchen at this woman who dared walk into her house uninvited.

                "Madison, sit down. It's not what you think?" Josh stood in between Madison and Meagan.

                "You keep saying that! So what is all this? What is going on?" Madison shoved Josh into Meagan knocking Meagan over.

                "Madison, calm down. You don't want to hurt the baby." He took a risk and put his hands on Madison's shoulders.

                "The baby? You are worried about the baby? I haven't heard from you since I told you about the baby! You should have been home last week! Now this floozy is standing in my kitchen! Is this who you spent the last three weeks with?!"

                Meagan hid behind Josh.

                "Madison, yes, I was with Meagan the past three weeks. But..."

                "It's not what I think it is?!" She glared at Josh and Meagan.

                "Right. She is buying my house. That's why I am a week late. I need your signature since it was your house, too, and I didn't want you to fly. I also wanted to hurry up and get back to you. Meagan was nice enough to come all the way here with me to get it done. So here we are. She is leaving tomorrow after you sign the papers." He spit out quickly before Madison could blow up again.

                "Oooohhhhh." Madison began to cry as she sat on the floor. "I'm sorry, Meagan. Can we just blame hormones?"

                Meagan nodded as she set the papers on the table.

                "Why didn't you call me, Josh?" Madison continued crying.

                "I don't have any excuse for that except that I was so focused on getting things done so I could come home." Josh sat next to her.

                "Do you know how much I hated you these past three weeks?"

                "Yes, but I'm here. I'm a horrible, horrible partner." He kissed her. "I'm sorry. I don't blame you for thinking I had run again."

                Meagan smiled at the two before leaving the room to give them time to make amends.

Madison signed the paperwork and apologized to Meagan again.

Josh explained to Madison that he spent the past three weeks trying to see the house. The day Madison told him about the pregnancy, he was supposed to meet with Meagan to discuss her buying the home privately but he was dealing with his old fears that he didn't make the meeting. Meagan called him and hearing that he wanted to hurry his return to Missouri, she offered to buy the home. Things were going fine until Josh remembered Madison's name was also listed on the house. Josh expressed concern about Madison flying to LA and he wanted to keep it as a surprise so Meagan suggested they drive to Missouri. He was so focused on wrapping up loose ends in LA and wanting to get home to Madison, he ended up neglecting her.

"Now let's focus on our future together, baby." He hugged her lifting her off the ground and swinging her around. "I'm so happy. Things are going to only get better for us. I promise."

Madison still had doubts but it was nice to see him smile. She kissed him softly and looked into his eyes.

"I have to go to work." She didn't want to go. She wanted to stay home with him.

"OK. I will work on some music. When you get home, we will celebrate the baby and us." He held her tight as he spoke.

"Deal." Madison's phone rang. "I better go. They are calling me."

She kissed him bye than rushed to her care.

"I love that woman." Josh muttered to himself as she drove off.

 

Madison stood over the body examining it for clues.

Mrs. Fletcher. My fourth grade teacher. Always so patient with us children. Taking the extra time to help us. Now here she is, stabbed to death.

"She was found this morning by her neighbor." Jessie, another investigator and Madison's best friend for twenty years. "Know her?"

"Yes." Madison looked at Jessie. "She was a sweet woman. I don't understand why anyone would want to kill her."

Madison searched the room for evidence. Her eyes fell on the floor next to the body to see Mrs. Fletcher's brains lying beside her head. She felt herself getting queasy and rushed out of the room.

"Madison, are you ok?" Jessie asked running after her.

"Yes. I will be fine." Madison wasn't so sure she believed herself.

"Maybe you should go back to the office."

"No. I will be fine." Madison stated again. "I just need some fresh air."

"Ok. But if it gets to be too much, just go home."

Madison leaned against her car. She has seen some gruesome things doing this job and has never gotten ill until now. She collected herself and went back inside to finish her job.

Eight hours passed and Madison was still not home. Josh was concerned she was going to work herself sick. Pulling his phone out, he called her only to get her voicemail.

I hope she is ok. He grabbed his book and sat in the chair next to the living room window. He tried to concentrate on the story but all he could do is think about Madison.

 

Madison sat in her office going over reports.

Oh, crap! It's midnight. She thought as she looked at the clock. Pulling her phone out, she called Josh.

"Madison, are you ok?" Josh answered as he sat up in bed.

"Yes. I just lost track of time. I'm on my home now." Madison grabbed her purse heading out to her car.

"Ok. Just be careful." He warned her. He had a strange feeling in his stomach. "You know what? Why don't you just stay there and I will come get you."

"No. I can drive home. I'll be there in fifteen minutes." Madison backed out of her parking space only to come face to face with her ex, Tommy, the guy in the picture.

"Madison? Are you still there?" Josh began to panic. "Madison?!"

No, answer from her but only the sound of two gunshots. He ran out of the house and headed to her office.

                When he arrived, he saw Madison laying on the asphalt next to her car.

                "Madison, no." He ran to her and held her in his arms. He looked up and saw Tommy in the back seat grinning.

                "Did you really think you could have her?" Tommy asked as police showed up. The paramedics attended to Madison as Josh watched Tommy being taken away to jail.

                "Josh? Let's go to the hospital." Jessie motioned for Josh to get into his vehicle. Josh nodded as he got into the car.

                Josh felt numb. What if she was dead? How was he to live without her?

Josh rushed into the hospital feeling as if the world was collapsing around him. He couldn't believe this was happening. They were looking forward to the baby and having a life together. He felt his legs giving out. He leaned against the wall and slid down. Hugging his knees he began to cry from a mix of fear, anger, and heartache.

                "Wow. I guess you do love me." Madison smiled down at him. Josh whipped his head up to look at Madison. He reached his hand out to touch her leg checking to see if he was imagining her standing over him.

                She's real. Josh jumped to his feet and grabbed her as he cried into her hair.

                "Hey. I'm ok. I passed out momentarily from hitting my head against the car door as I was trying to get away. Which was a good thing since I guess Tommy thought I was dead. Hey, stop crying. I'm ok. The baby's ok"

                "Oh, Madison, I thought I had lost you forever." Josh stepped away from her. "Don't do that again! Don't ever scare me like that again!" He began to yell at her as Madison stood smiling at him.

                "Are you done yelling at me?" She smiled. "I didn't plan this. I just have really poor taste in men."

                Josh looked at Madison like a two year old not getting a cookie.

                "Don't joke." He glared at her. "Are you sure you're ok?'

                "Yes. The doctor says I'm good to go but I have a lump on my head. He also said the baby is good."

                Josh nodded not being able to talk anymore. He pulled her to him again and they stood in the hallway for a few minutes.

                "Madison, I love you."

                "I love you, too. But if you ever yell at me again, I'm going to smack you." Madison pulled on his arm to lead him out of the hospital.

               

                After returning home, Josh followed Madison around like a puppy. He was so afraid something else was going to happen.

                "Are you going to follow me around all the time?" Madison was getting annoyed.

                "I want to make sure doors don't attack you again." He finally was able to joke. "Listen, Madison, we need to talk. I want you to quit your job. You were lucky this time. What if someone else pulls a stunt like this? I don't like it."

                Madison stared at him.

                Is he serious?! What the hell is he thinking asking me to quit my job? Because he doesn't like it?!

                "I'm going to give you two seconds to rephrase that before you end up in the hospital."

                Josh knew he shouldn't have been so demanding and if he continued, she wouldn't quit.

                "I am just worried about you. I don't want to lose you. Today was horrible and if you had....died....I would have died with you. I know I can't save you from everything but I...please, think about it. For me and our baby."

                "Why didn't you just say that in the first place? I put my papers in today. I have to go in until they find another agent then I'm done."

                "You had me sitting here worrying about this since we came home?" Josh looked at her firmly.

                "You love me, remember?" Madison smiled nervously as Josh continued to stare at her. "I was going to tell you...soon."

                "You were going to tell me soon?" He stepped towards her. "Soon, huh?"

                "Now, Josh. I really was going to tell you." She stepped backwards. Josh grabbed her arm and turned her around. He began to spank her like she was a naughty child. "Stop! Wait! No, don't stop. You're getting too much of the right cheek. Move it to the left. Make it even."

                Josh's hand stopped midair. He looked at her before laughing so hard his stomach hurt.

                "What am I going to do with you?" He asked planting her with gently kisses.

                "Love me." Madison sighed.

A few months passed and things were great. Madison left her job and she was now working as an adjunct professor teaching criminal justice to local college students putting Josh at ease about her safety. The baby was progressing wonderfully and due next month. Josh was working on new music for a possible new album.

                "I can't fit into anything!" Josh heard Madison yelling from her closet. He walked over at his own risk. He found Madison on the floor crying. She turned to look at Josh. "I'm a whale!"

                "Awww, baby. You look beautiful." Josh sat next to her on the floor and held her. "You look even more gorgeous than when I first met you."

                "Really?" Madison cried harder. "You're so sweet to lie to me."

                Josh laughed.

                "I'm not lying." He wiped away her tears. "Now, smile for me."

                Madison smiled as she felt herself melt into his arms.

                "You have been so good to me."

                "Come on. Get dressed and we'll get something to eat." Josh helped Madison to her feet. Madison put on a pair of maternity jeans and a t-shirt. "There absolutely gorgeous." Josh kissed her forehead.

 

                Josh watched as Madison wolfed down her food.

                "What?!" Madison asked as she held her fork midair. "I'm pigging out. I know." She put the fork down.

                Josh just looked at her afraid to say anything that would set her off.

                "Josh, I think the baby is ready."

                "Ready for what?"

                "To meet us." Madison smiled. "We're going to meet our baby."

                Josh caught his breath and hurriedly paid the check.

                "Come on. Is your bag in the back?" Josh asked easing her into the car. "OK. You ok?"

                "I'm ok. Don't speed. I'm ok."

                Josh was trying to stay calm for Madison. Inside he was a mess. She was about to have his baby. He was going to meet his little girl. She would be his little girl. He began wondering what their little girl would look like. He hoped she looked like Madison with big brown eyes, beautiful dark brown hair, and a smile that could brighten even the darkest day.

                "Josh, you passed the hospital." Madison laughed as Josh whipped back around and pulled up to the hospital. "Just park."

                "Are you sure? What if the baby falls out?" Madison laughed harder.

                "It won't just fall out. My contractions just started and it could be awhile. They may even send us home."

                "Are you sure?" He asked again.

                "I'm positive. It's ok. Just park and we will go inside. It's ok. Breathe, Josh!" Madison found this situation very amusing.

                Josh parked the car in the nearest parking space and helped Madison into the hospital. It was exactly what Madison predicted. The contractions were not close enough for her to be admitted. Madison thought she'd have to check Josh into the hospital because he was starting to get pale.

                "Let's sit down." Madison sat him to a chair. "Are you going to be ok? You look....oooohhhh...wow. That hurt. You look pale. You're going to pass out on me. Aren't you?"

                Josh nodded.

                "It's ok." With that, Josh fell against her. "Help, please." She called to a nurse.

               

                Josh woke up on a couch in a delivery room.

                "Did I miss it?" He felt bad.

                "No." Madison smiled as she reached out for him. He took her hand and he stood beside her.

                "You are being so strong. I can't believe how well you are doing. I expected you to scream and stuff."

                "Ha. I have a freakishly high pain tolerance. And the epidural helps with the rest." Madison grinned.

                "Well, are you ready? The baby is coming." The doctor said as the nurses put Madison into position.

                Madison and Josh nodded. It was time for them to meet Sophia Nicole Chasez.

"She's beautiful." Josh gushed as he held Sophia. "Just like her mother."

                Madison smiled at her family.

                "She is beautiful. I can't believe she's finally here." Madison touched her daughter's hand as if to make sure Sophia was real.

                "I don't think I've ever been happier." Josh sat next to Madison in the bed and the two stared adoringly at Sophia.

               

That's how it should have been. Josh thought to himself as he rolled over to her side of the bed.

                Madison had an aneurysm while giving birth. Josh was removed from the room only to be informed from the doctor thirty minutes later that she had died. Sophia was ok though she remained at the hospital.

                This is a nightmare. I'm going to wake up any minute now and she will be here. Josh opened his eyes again only to be slapped by reality again. Madison, how am I supposed to do this without you?

                Josh forced himself out of bed. He had to go to the hospital to see Sophia. He dragged himself into the bathroom to shower. He had to pull himself together for Sophia.

                 

                At the hospital, Josh held Sophia tightly in his arms. He would make sure nothing happened to Sophia. She was all Josh had left of Madison. He would do everything for his daughter and make sure she knew how wonderful her mother was. He hoped Sophia grew up to be just like Madison. Josh broke down in tears as he thought about Madison not being there for Sophia's first steps, hearing her first words, her first everything.

                "Mommy, loved you so much and she wanted to meet you more than anything. You always remember that your mommy loved you." Josh whispered to Sophia. He sat down in a chair still holding Sophia to his heart. Things would be hard at times but he knew Madison was looking down at them from Heaven smiling. "We're going to be ok, Sophia." Sophia opened her eyes to look up at her dad as if to reassure him.