I know your hopes and dreams they will collide,
Take all your things you'll go and run and hide,
Do you remember how it felt when we were young,
Do you remember how it felt when we were young.

Today we have the chance to feel again,
To hear the sounds that brought us in,
To laugh, to cry, to live again

JC

Fifteen years.

I still can’t believe it’s been that long that we’ve been coming to this beach house on this tiny little island off Florida’s southwest coast. I don’t feel fifteen years older, except this morning when my twelve-year-old daughter told me she saw more grey in my hair than black.

I look over at my wife, who’s getting her carry-on off the back seat of the Cherokee. She’s in a daze, I can tell.

“What?” She looks up at me and I just shrug.

“Just can’t believe we’re back is all.” And that’s the truth. Five years has come and gone so fast.

“Yeah. I know.” Kate bites her lower lip and slings her purse over her shoulder. “Can you get the suitcases?”

“You brought more than one?” I can’t help but tease her a little. My wife has always over packed. We’re coming for the weekend. She’s packed for a week and a half.

“Shut up.” Kate sashays in front of me with a cute little pop of her hip. We may be in our mid-thirties, but when she does that I still feel like that twenty-one-year-old that first fell in love with her in Music Theory class.

I pop the trunk open and grab the two suitcases and a bag of groceries we’d gotten for the weekend.

Fifteen years ago Kate and I, along with some friends of ours, had planned on coming to this very house to celebrate our graduation from college. It had been talked about for the whole last semester. We were able to get the house through a friend who knew a friend of a friend or something like that. I don’t even remember now. All I remember is that we were excited to finally get away together.

And then Lance killed himself.

“Lance killed himself.”

I looked at Chris as if he were playing another one of his stupid jokes.

“Shut up, man-“

Chris shook his head and I’d never seen the look that was on his face. He was always jovial, always the smart ass, making everyone laugh. He wasn’t laughing and for the first time, I saw a tear roll down his cheek.

“They found him in his room. He hung himself.”

We’d been standing on the quad at our university. I was waiting for Kate to come out of her last class when Chris had approached me to give me the news.

“You’re serious.” It was a statement, not a question and Chris nodded once again. “Have you seen any of the other guys?”

“Not yet. I don’t even know how to tell Joey.”

At that moment, Kate walked up to us.

“Josh?”

“Josh? Are you coming in?”

I snap back to reality and look up at Kate, who was opening the door to the house.

She smiles at me as I walk towards her and we both step inside. It still smells like it always does. Like cedar wood with a little bit of ocean and sea salt mixed in it. The kitchen has been updated since we’ve been gone and is now completely open into the living room. There are windows circling all the way around the first floor so that no matter where you’re standing, you get a panoramic view of the ocean.

“If we weren’t here commemorating Lance….” Kate sighs and shakes her head. “I know I’d feel better about being here. It’s beautiful.”

“Yeah.” I agree softly and put the bag of groceries on the granite top counter in the kitchen.

Kate takes in her surroundings and looks forlorn. She and Lance had done a few theatrical productions through our university’s theatre program. They’d played opposite each other in Guys and Dolls and I knew that before she’d met me, Lance had been one of her best friends in the department. It always seemed to hit her the hardest.

Her phone rings and she’s shaken out of the short daydream she’d seemed to be caught in. Looking down at her cell, she smiles and looks up at me.

“It’s Ellie.” Ellie is our oldest daughter. She’s fourteen and unfortunately for me, her father, quite independent. I know she’s a teenager and I know that I was probably worse than she is at this age, but as a dad….well, it’s just this sense of foreboding I get when I think of the fact that she’s going into high school this year.

“Hi, honey. Yes, we just got here. What? As long as it’s fine with Nana it’s fine with us.” She turns to face me and I raise my eyebrow at whatever it is that Ellie wants to do.

“What’s fine with us?” I whisper loudly, walking to the other side of the kitchen counter.

Kate holds up a hand and shakes her head, turning away from me. “What did you say, babe? Oh, sure. Just tell Maggie to tell Nana to use the number on the frig.” Maggie is our twelve-year-old and as long as she keeps being less independent, the better off everything else will be.

“What’s fine with us?” I repeat, a little louder and with more urgency in my voice.

Kate sighs irritably and shoots me a glare, then shakes her head and goes back to her conversation with Ellie. “Ok, honey. We will. Love you, too. Be careful, El. Bye.” Kate looks back at me as soon as she hangs up. “You are ridiculous sometimes.”

“Why? Because I’m a worried father? Do you remember the stories I told you of when I was in high school?” I’m face to face with my wife now and she’s staring back at me with a seemingly bored expression.

“Yes, Josh. You remind me every time Ellie walks out the door. She’s not a bad kid. And just because you had sex with everything that walked back then doesn’t mean she’s going to do the same thing!” Kate goes to turn away from me, but I grab her shoulder and she’s forced to look at me.

“I didn’t have sex with everything that walked.” I defend myself and can’t help but chuckle at her statement. “I had sex twice when I was fourteen and then didn’t do it again til I was seventeen.”

Kate just shakes her head and chuckles under her breath. “Well, maybe she’ll take after her goody-two-shoes mom who saved herself until college.”

“Lies.” I back her against the counter and she looks up at me, biting her lip. “When I met you, you told me you had sex your senior year of high school. At homecoming. In the back of your car.” My arms are finding their way around her waist.

“It was prom. And it was in the back of his truck. I grew up in Georgia, remember?” Kate pushes herself up on the counter and gives me a look that lets me know she wants me. Right here and right now.

“They could walk in any minute.” I tug at the waistline of her jeans and her hands rest on either side of my arms.

“Liv texted me a while ago. They were stuck in traffic in St. Pete.” She watches the haste in my fingers as they play with my zipper and soon my jeans lie in a puddle around my feet.

Kate and I have never been shy about anything sexual with one another. Our first time was in the top bunk of a bed she shared with a roommate her sophomore year. And the roommate was in the bunk underneath and we’re pretty sure she heard everything because the next day she requested a move. Yeah, we were “that couple.”

Kate leans back on her elbows and I shift so that I can easily move on top of her.

“Ow!” She yelps and I look down to see she’s lost balance on her elbows and is sprawled awkwardly beneath me.

“Maybe we should just go upstairs.” I haven’t had a chance to do much yet, but I’m definitely ready and the only thing guarding us is Kate’s jeans, which are still halfway down her legs.

“No. I’m fine.” Kate grimaces and pulls herself up once more. She looks at me with complete desire in her eyes and one that always reminds me of when we first started sleeping together.

I kiss her neck, her cheek, her lips and she’s bucking against me, ready for me to take control of her. It’s going to be a quickie, but for some reason it’s all either of us want right now, I can tell.

“Wait!” Kate suddenly stops just as I’m about to remove her underwear.

“What?” I look down at her and she grunts and moves a little.

“I didn’t take the pill today.”

“The condoms are packed in one of the suitcases.” I sigh and soon the mood is over.

“If you’d just go get the damn surgery, I wouldn’t have to stay on the pill!” She snaps and I move off of her, pulling up my jeans.

“You can have surgery, too, baby.” I’m quick to remind her.

“I birthed two children. It’s the least you can do.” Kate hops off the counter and quickly pulls herself together. “Come on. Let’s go unpack.”

“Hey.” I call to her as she starts towards the stairs. “What was it that Ellie wanted?”

“She wanted to see if it was okay if she could use some of the spending money we gave her to treat a friend to a movie.” Kate answers and without waiting for me to respond she says, “And it’s a girl not a guy so don’t get all bent out of shape.” 

Liv

The car ride has been silent for most of the drive since we left Macon this morning and that was five hours ago. Every time we make the drive down to Siesta Key, we have to stop because of how long it takes from Nashville. Most couples might enjoy a road trip away from their kids. For Chris and me, it just makes the truth more obvious about how distant we’ve gotten from each other.

“Fifteen minutes. Thank god.” Chris sighs under his breath and looks ahead at the exit off the interstate. I’ve been staring out the window for the last two hours wondering how in the hell we’re going to convince our friends that we’re okay.

I’ve wanted to tell Kate and Koren. Every time we’re on a group text together it seems like it should be easy enough to do. But ultimately one of them has news about one of their kids or Koren’s sold a prime piece of real estate to somebody famous and by the time we’ve covered everything, it’s time for someone to either get ready for bed or get one of their kids in bed.

It’s hard to be married to someone who is more or less never serious about anything. In college it was cute and endearing when Chris would do something absurd like dye the fountain pink in the middle of campus or stack mattresses under his dorm window and use them as a landing pad when he jumped from it.

But when you’ve been married to a child for nearly twelve years, it gets old.

We met in college in the same Algebra class that everyone’s required to take. Chris had taken a few years off after high school and so we were both freshmen when we met, even though I was 18 and he was 25. We hit it off almost immediately, even though my friends were skeptical about me dating an older guy. But it was through this “old guy” that I came to know Lance, who was Chris’ roommate, and it was through Lance that I met Kate and Koren and our whole friendship clique kind of developed from there.

It still takes my breath away that Lance has been gone for so long. It doesn’t seem possible that he wasn’t even at our wedding or that our kids don’t know the one person we’re all gathering together to celebrate this weekend.

I lean against the window and ignore my husband, whose griping under his breath about traffic in Florida.

“We’re never going to get there!”

“I’ll text Kate and tell her we’re in traffic again.” I pull out my phone and smile at the picture that I’m using as my wallpaper. It was taken on a random night that we’d all hung out at a bar by campus, not long before Lance died.

“Sorry we’re late.” I apologized and dragged Chris behind me by his arm. Everyone was sitting at our usual spot in the back by the dartboard. JC and Kate were sitting across from Joey and Koren. Justin was trying his hand at darts and Lance was just returning from the bar with a pitcher of beer.

“Dinner ran over with my mom.” I sat down next to Koren and looked over at Kate, who was absently circling her water glass with her finger and looking off into space.

“Hey.” I kicked her gently under the table. “You okay?”

Kate just looked at me and I could tell the smile she gave was forced.

“What’s her deal?” I whispered to Koren.

“She’s been acting off all night.” Koren replied and took the pitcher from Lance, who was handing it off to her. “Thanks for getting it for us.”

“No problem.” Lance nodded at her and plopped down next to JC. “Hey Justin, beer’s here.”

Justin glanced over at us and went back to his darts.

“Where’s the chick he was with last weekend?” Chris asked, as Koren began to pour everyone beer.

“He slept with her. So, you know, it’s done.” JC answered and looked over at Kate, who was declining a drink. “You don’t want beer?”

“Now I know something’s up. Are you sick?” I asked her and Kate just nodded but I knew it had to be something more.

“I haven’t felt well today. That’s all. And Dr. Carney wanted me to sit in on auditions for next year’s play and it just made me sad because I won’t be here to be in it next year.” Kate was usually not so glum and could always put a positive spin on anything. Like the week before she’d been ecstatic about sitting in on auditions and had said it would help her if she ever decided to go into teaching theatre instead of performing.

“But honey you told me yourself that anything by Edward Albee is stupid and you were glad you weren’t going to have to audition for it.” JC reminded her and leaned over to peck her cheek.

“Plus you know nobody can beat your performance in Streetcar Named Desire!” Joey put in, trying to make her feel better. “We can’t be in college forever.”

“Thank god.” Chris muttered and gulped down his beer. “Some of us have been going at it for ages.”

“No, you just started late and you’re old so it feels like ages.” Joey teased him and Chris reached over my head to flick the side of his ear. “Ow!”

At that moment Everclear’s Father of Mine began to blast over the speakers and Koren and I squealed and began singing along.

“I heard they’re coming to Atlanta.” Lance said over the song. “Are you guys gonna go see them?”

“Hell to the yes we are.” Koren was moving in her seat to the beat of the song. “Kate, you should go!”

Kate shook her head and smiled at both of us. “You guys know that’s not really my style.”

At that moment, Justin put the darts away and came down to sit with us. He looked at Lance, who was offering him a free seat next to him, but declined and squeezed in next to Chris.

“Pass the beer.” He called down to Joey, who was now trying to make room for himself at the end of the booth.

Joey dramatically lifted his arm as though it had been stuck for years between the booth and the wall, lifted the beer pitcher with exaggerated effort, and reached across Koren, Chris, and me to put it in front of Justin.

“Oh hey, guys, we need to get in the final payment for the house.” Koren spoke up and leaned into Joey. “We’ll lose it if we don’t. I think Chris and Justin are the only two who haven’t put in. And Justin, did you decide whether or not you’re going to take someone with you?”

Justin looked down the booth at Koren and shrugged. “Probably not,” he said. Justin usually was the odd man out. Once or twice he had a girlfriend but it wasn’t normally a long relationship, if you could even call it that.

“I’m so ready for the beach!” JC squeezed Kate’s shoulder. “Just think baby. Me, you, no more school. And Sex on the Beach.”

“Oh god.” I rolled my eyes. “You two are like little nymphos.”

“I meant the drink!” JC tried to defend his statement but nobody at the table believed him. I looked over at Kate to laugh with her but once again, she had a far off look in her eyes and wasn’t paying attention.

“Kate, I have to go to the bathroom. Come with me, please.” I didn’t care if I wasn’t being subtle or not. I looked over at Koren. “And I think you should come, too.”

We heard the guys muttering about how women always had to go to the bathroom together as we made our way across the bar and into the ladies room. There was only one stall but thankfully it wasn’t in use.

“Spill it sister.” I didn’t give Kate a chance to speak.

Kate opened her mouth but nothing came out, just a breath of air. She finally looked at Koren and me in the mirror.

“I’m pregnant.”

“Holy shit.” It was the only thing I could say.

Chris looked over at me. “What?”

“Huh?” I snap back to present day and look over at him.

“You were mumbling something.” He looks ahead at the beach house that is now approaching us. “And we’re here.”

Koren

Joey and I are always the last to arrive at the beach house. We fly from L.A. and by the time we land, rent a car, and get over to Siesta Key, everyone’s been there for a good two hours or more. We left early this morning and I’ve been dozing on and off all day from the plane to the car. I want to be wide -awake so I can be up for conversations with Liv and Kate. The three of us haven’t been together for five years and somehow group text messages just don’t cut it.

When we pull into the driveway, I immediately become excited and it’s all I can do not to jump out of the car and leave Joey with the luggage. I know we’re meeting for a somber remembrance, but it doesn’t lessen the anticipation I feel for seeing two of my oldest friends.

We met our freshmen year of college all because of Lance. Lance and I had been friends in high school and the first day of orientation he met Kate at a theatre meeting. He introduced us and a few weeks later, the three of us met Liv, who was hanging out with Lance’s roommate, Chris. At the end of our first semester, Joey moved onto Lance’s and Chris’ hall. He was this big, goofy Italian guy and I immediately started flirting it up big time with him.

“Lance, c’mon. We’re supposed to meet Chris and Liv downstairs at ten.” I knocked on Lance’s dorm room door.

“I’m just changing my shirt. Hey, did Kate say if she was coming with us or not?” Lance called back.

“She’s on a date tonight. Some new guy in the music department. Justin something or the other.” I answered him and looked down the hallway. I was always up for seeing some hot guy walk out in boxer briefs. Although lately all I’d seen were guys with no washboard and the onset of a beer belly.

“Justin Timberlake?” Lance asked, and poked his head out the door.

“Yeah, I think so.” I shrugged and noted the disappointment on Lance’s face. “Aw, Bass, you know Kate’s not your type. She’s a sweetheart and all, but I think she wants someone who moves a little faster.”

“No, it’s not…never mind.” Lance shook his head then ducked back into his room.

That’s when I looked up and saw Joey Fatone for the first time. He was coming out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. He caught my eye and chuckled nervously.

“Didn’t know there were chicks on the floor,” he said as he passed me by.

“I’m here all the time. Never seen you before.” I replied and he stopped in front of his room and turned to me.

“Just moved to this hall. I was in a shitty dorm on the other side of campus.” Joey brushed a hand through his wet hair. “What’s your name?”

“Koren Kemper. What’s yours?” I inched closer to him.

“Okay, I’m ready to go.” Lance emerged from his room and the door bumped me, causing me to stumble.

“Geez, Lance!” I snapped at him with an irritable tone.

“Sorry, Kor!” Lance apologized and looked over at Joey. “Hey, Fatone. I see you’ve met Koren.”

“Yeah, just now. Oh yeah, I’m Joey Fatone. Lance’s Bio lab partner and winner at all of our hacky sack games.” Joey stuck his hand out towards me and I shook it.

“Nice to meet you. We’re about to go meet up with some friends. Wanna join us?” I had to ask, even if he said no. I knew I’d be an idiot to pass this up.

“Sure. Lemme change real fast and I can meet you guys downstairs.” Joey winked at me and ducked back into his room.

“Someone sure doesn’t waste any time.” Lance ribbed at me.

“Someone sure is still a smart ass.” I countered back at him.

“Fatone’s great. Just if you end up spending the night on our hall tonight, be quiet when you leave tomorrow morning. I want to enjoy my Saturday.” Lance put his arm around my shoulder as we walked down the hall.

“What the hell makes you think I’m going to move that fast?” I looked at him in feigned shock.

“Not you. Joey. He’s known for being, um, a ladies man. That’s all I meant.” Lance opened the door for me and we walked downstairs.

“Well, if I end up in his room tonight, I’ll make sure to be extra quiet tomorrow morning but I doubt that’s gonna happen.” I was saying this to him as we walked over to Liv and Chris.

“What the hell are you talking about? Whose room are you spending the night in?” Liv immediately wanted to know.

“Nothing. By the way, we’ve gotta wait a minute. I invited someone along.” I told them.

“Who?” Chris asked.

“Joey Fatone.” Lance was smirking and Chris burst out laughing.

“Oh my god, that’s whose room she’s gonna end up in. That dude has had at least four women on our hall and he just moved in like two days ago!” Chris looked at me. “Nice going, Koren. He’s a cool guy.”

“We’re just going to a bar with you guys tonight. It’s not like a real date.” I rolled my eyes at Chris. At that moment Joey came downstairs. “And shut up and don’t say anything else!”

When we got to the bar, we let Chris order a pitcher of beer while the rest of us under-agers went to the back and scoped out a place to sit.

“So, Koren.” Joey turned all of his attention to me. “Where you from?”

“Mississippi. Lance and I went to high school together.” I twirled a piece of blond hair around my finger and eased into a conversation with him. “And you?”

“Brooklyn. Well, sorta. I was born in Brooklyn but my dad got transferred down to Florida. I decided to give Georgia a try for college. So far, it’s working out.” Joey grinned at me and I immediately decided he was going to be fun to talk to, at least for tonight.

“Ok, you little youngins. Here’s your beer.” Chris placed a pitcher of Bud Lite in the middle of the table along with a stack of red cups. “Be good and drink it all.”

“No problem there.” Lance reached for a cup and did a double take. “Hey, Kate.”

I looked over and saw Kate playing pool with Justin. She looked up at us and waved, then put her pool stick down and walked over to the booth.

“Hey, y’all.” She glanced at me, then at Joey. “Who’s your friend, Kor?”

“This is Joey.” I was smirking back at her and I saw her trying not to make a face at me.

“Hey, Joey. I’m Kate.” She reached over and shook his hand.

“How’s your date?” Liv asked her and Kate turned to look at Justin who was lining up a ball to hit in a pocket.

“It’s okay.” Kate shrugged.

“He’s cute.” Liv noted.

“He’s kind of full of himself,” Kate said under her breath, but loud enough for us all to hear.

“Hey, Kate. Your turn.” Justin called to her and Kate turned around and flashed him a smile.

“Okay!” She called back to him then turned to our group. “See y’all later.”

I noticed Lance looking longingly after her and sighed at him. “Hey, she said he was full of himself. That’s a good sign.” I tried to tell him as quietly as I could.

He looked at me and shook his head. “Whatever. Let’s drink.”

When we got back to campus, Joey and I were both well beyond tipsy. Lance followed us back to the dorm, waving me off as I followed Joey into his dorm room.

The next morning I kept my promise and was as quiet as a mouse when I made my way down the hall of the dorm. I almost knocked on Lance’s door, but thought better of it. Besides, I’d already told him I’d be quiet and I never broke my word.

When we open the door to the beach house, everyone’s hanging out in the living room. Kate and JC are sitting together on the couch and Liv is in the recliner, while Chris is in front of the television hitting on it.

“Come on stupid piece of crap!” Chris is groaning at it.

“And hitting it is a good idea?” Liv gripes at him.

“You got a better one?” Chris snaps back.

“Yeah, how ‘bout we say hello cause the party just got here!” Joey always knows what to say in situations that are about to get awkward. And it didn’t take a genius to note the tension that had been building between Liv and Chris just then.

Kate looks up at us as though we’ve saved the day and I’m dying to know what’s transpired before we got here.

“Good to see you, man.” JC stands to his feet and slaps Joey’s back. “Hey, Kor.” He hugs me and then lets me go so that I’m able to give Kate a long hug.

“Thank god you got here.” She mutters into my ear and I don’t move in case she wants to say more. “They’ve been spouting off to each other for the last hour.”

“We’ll talk later.” I whisper in her ear and pull away to go and hug Liv.

“Hey, roomie.” I greet her and she smiles half-heartedly at me. I can already envision some late night chats with her and Kate before Monday morning comes around.

“So I guess all we’re waiting on is Justin?” Joey asks and looks around for an answer.

“Haven’t heard from him.” JC replies and shrugs. “Did he pay his half?”

“Yeah.” I nod and pull out my phone to see if there are any missed texts or calls from him. “He said he was looking forward to seeing us.”

“Well, we can order a pizza while we wait for him.” Chris leaves the television and goes over to the island in the kitchen to retrieve the number for the local pizza place.

“How are the boys?” Kate asks me, as I join her on the couch. Liv gets up from the recliner and joins us.

“They’re good. Tristan is five and Carson is seven. Carson is in the same class as Jessica Alba’s kid this year. She was his girlfriend for about a week.” I let a yawn escape and pull out my phone. “Speaking of, I better call the nanny and let her know we got in ok.”

“Living in L.A. and being a top real estate agent sure has its perks.” Liv mentioned and raised an eyebrow. “What I wouldn’t give to have a nanny sometimes.”

“Oh, Livvy, you’ve got awesome kids.” Kate tells her and shakes her head.

Liv just sighs and both Kate and I glance at each other.

“Should we have some wine on the deck tonight?” I ask, while the phone is ringing.

Liv just nods and looks more forlorn than I’ve ever seen her before in the last fifteen years.

“Pizza will be here in thirty.” Chris calls to us from the kitchen. “And Justin texted. He won’t be here til tomorrow.”

“Shocking.” Kate mutters under her breath. “I might faint if he was ever on time to anything important.”

Kate

Now that Koren and Joey are here, the tension has been somewhat relieved. Chris and Liv had come in about an hour and a half before and from the beginning all they had done was snap at each other.

I love getting to see my two best friends and I love getting our old gang together, but I’ll be honest. I dread this weekend and I’m glad it’s only every five years. When Lance died, I felt like a little piece of me did, too. He was my best friend. Oh sure, Liv and Kate are, too, but Lance and I just shared something special from the beginning. And it was because of Lance that I met JC.

Joey, Chris, and Lance had already formed a pretty tight bromance by the time our sophomore year came around. Justin and Chris had gotten to be friends through a few classes and pretty soon, he was also hanging out with us. Despite the fact that Justin was the worst date I’d ever been on due to his arrogance, when he got around the guys, he was rather enjoyable.

Our sophomore year had started off pretty unmemorable. The only thing I’d enjoyed so far was being in almost every class with Lance.

“Why do they have music theory at 7:50 in the morning?” Lance griped and sat down next to me.

“Shh.” I was resting my head on the table and trying to get over a bad hangover. “You’re talking too loud.”

“What’s wrong? Late night out?” Lance patted my back and I turned my head to look at him.

“You could say that.” I mumbled and lifted my head, reaching for my thermos filled to the brim with coffee.
“Lance!”

I looked up to see the most beautiful man walking into our class. He had dark brown hair, the bluest eyes I’d ever seen, and a smile that immediately made my insides turn to mush.

“Hey, JC.” Lance fist-bumped the beautiful man and he sat down at the same table where Lance and I were seated.

“Hey, buddy.” He looked over at me. “Hey, I’m JC.”

“I’m Kate.” I was suddenly wide-awake.

“Kate’s in theatre with me.” Lance told JC then turned to me. “JC’s a music major.”

“Music education, if you want to be exact,” JC said. “Yeah, I had to switch out of the three o’clock class and into this beast of a time.”

“This is offered at three?” I nearly croaked. “I didn’t see that on the schedule.”

“Because you had already signed up for Jazz.” Lance reminded me.

I spent the rest of the class trying to concentrate on treble clefs and bass clefs and majors and minors but the entire time all I could think about was JC sitting two seats away from me.

“How’d you know the hottie?” I asked Lance later that afternoon before our Theatre History class.

Lance chuckled at me, his hazel eyes twinkling. “JC? We met last year. He was in Intro to Physics with me.”

“And you neglected to tell me about him why?” I folded my arms across my chest.

“Because he was dating some other girl from his hometown. But I think they broke up. Want me to bring him to Chicks tonight?” Chicks was the locally owned restaurant where I waited tables and also a popular college hang out.

“Yes, please!” I answered without even batting an eye.

Lance made good on his promise. That evening he and JC showed up for a beer at Chicks and before they left, JC had asked me for my number.

We went out two nights later and we’ve been together ever since.

“Kate.”

I look up and JC’s holding a Blue Moon and handing it to me. “Here, babe.”

“Thanks.” I smile at him and he pecks my cheek before returning to the kitchen.

“You guys are still like you were in college.” Liv notes with a tone of sadness to her. “I wish we were.”

“What happened?” I ask, already knowing there are problems with her and Chris.

“We grew apart.” Liv sighs and shakes her head, looking over at her husband. “We’ve been trying to hide it in front of the kids but even they’re getting suspicious.”

Just then, Chris comes back into the room and we both clam up. Koren hangs up with her nanny and soon all six of us are sitting across from each other in the living room.

“Kids are fine.” Koren tells Joey. “Tristan was a little whiny earlier missing us, but Amelia says he’s fine now.”

“Wish our kids missed us.” JC looked at me.

“They do in their own angsty, teenager-y way.” I assure him.

“God, I still can’t believe you guys have teenagers.” Liv notes.

“Just one. Maggie’s still twelve.” JC reminds her. “And I’d like it if she stayed twelve for about four more years.”

“Yeah, well, they got busy before the rest of us.” Chris teases. “I still remember when you told us Kate was pregnant.” Chris’ face suddenly goes from jovial to despondent. “Never mind.”

“It’s okay.” I interject. “We all know it happened after the funeral.”

“That’s when the guys found out.” Koren can’t hide the smirk on her face. “Me and Liv were told in the bathroom of that seedy bar we used to all hang out in.”

“Pregnant?” Koren grabbed my shoulder and turned me around to face her. “Have you told Josh?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know how to tell him. We’re engaged and we’re supposed to get married this summer.”

“So shouldn’t it be okay?” Liv asked.

“I mean, yeah, I guess it should. I just don’t think he’s gonna be exactly thrilled with having a kid before we’ve been married a year.” I rested my hand on my stomach. “You guys can’t say anything to Chris or Joey, okay?”

“Who else knows?” Koren wanted to know.

“I told Lance yesterday.” I bit on my lower lip. “I know I should have told Josh first, but I just, I don’t know. Lance knew something was up the minute I saw him.”

“Well, Josh isn’t stupid either.” Liv reminded me. “You need to tell him.”

“I know. I’m gonna tell him soon..”

“She told everyone before me.” JC loves to remind me of that fact. “But I guess, well, in spite of everything, I’m glad you got to tell Lance first.”

I can only nod my head in response and recall once again that Lance never got to meet Ellie and that my children would never get to meet my best friend.

Chris

I’m trying here. That’s big for me. At least I’m doing that, which is more than I can say for my wife. She’s been shooting daggers at me all evening. It only got better after Koren and Joey got here because she’s got to put up an even bigger front. Though, I can tell from the looks she’s getting from Kate and Koren, they’re not buying the act.

We’ve been fine up until a few months ago. That’s when I discovered the text messages from some guy named Ben on her phone. Turns out Ben is a single dad from our kids’ school. Ben’s kid is in the same Kindergarten class as our daughter, Madisen. Our son, Noah, is in second grade and as far as I know, no dad from his class is texting my wife.

Liv admitted to me she and Ben started talking on a field trip to the zoo once. I guess Ben’s wife is lazy or something and won’t go get a job and Liv felt that it was her duty to confide in Ben and let him know that I, too, was also out of work. That’s sort of true. I work as a studio singer in Nashville and haven’t had much success the last six months.

We’ve been trying to fix things but I think I’m giving up. I’m just not too keen on wanting to be in a marriage with someone who seems to have already checked out.

We’ve finished dinner and everyone’s tired and lounging in the living room. JC and Kate are both cuddled together on the couch in their typical lovey-dovey fashion. Koren is sitting on Joey’s lap while he aimlessly tries to find us a movie on the OnDemand. And Liv and me are sitting on the complete opposite side of the room from one another, both in disgust at the couples around us.

I think it makes me mad because we were the first to hook up out of everyone in college and now we’re gonna be the first to get divorced if things keep going the way they are.

“Dude, why do you look like you’re ready to punch something?”

Leave it to Joey to call me out on something. It’s then that I notice I’ve got a scowl on my face and immediately shake myself out of it.

“Huh? Nothing. I’m just…thinking.” I clear my throat and look over at the TV. “So are we watching something or what?”

“I vote ‘what’.” Kate yawns and stands to her feet. “C’mon girls, let’s get some wine and go talk out on the porch.”

I watch as Liv glances up at Kate and then shakes her head. “No, I think I’m going to bed.” She stands to her feet and Kate and Koren look at her almost in disbelief.

“It’s only nine, Livvy.” Koren states and looks at her phone. “Plus, I’m on California time and I’m wide awake. We only get til Monday morning together. Come on!”

Liv sighs and I can tell she would rather just go upstairs and forget it all. If she goes outside, she’ll have to admit her secret and I know she already feels like Kate and Koren both have perfect marriages. At least compared to ours they do.

“Fine.” She relents and follows them outside.

“Ok, man, what’s going on.” JC doesn’t even wait five seconds before the girls are outside. “You two have been acting weird.”

I don’t want to talk about it. I’d rather forget it. I’d rather make a joke about how JC’s hair is greying at the edges and Joey’s beard is thinning. Then, they could counter back at me about how much weight I’ve put on or something. Anything other than talking about marital issues.

“I think we’re both sad about being here.” That was partially true. Lance had been my roommate. I was the one who’d walked in the room and found him hanging in the closet. I still shudder when I think about that.

“Yeah, we all are.” Joey nods and looks out towards the back porch where the girls are. Joey was Lance’s best friend next to Kate. Lance was more fun when Joey had been around. Usually, he kept to himself, too shy to approach the opposite sex, unless approached first. Kate had tried countless times to set him up, but ultimately had failed.

“I told you, it just didn’t work out.” Lance told Kate again for what seemed liked the thousandth time that night.

“I don’t get it, Bass. She was all about going out with you!” Kate was persistent. She wasn’t going to give up until Lance told her what really had happened on his date.

“Babe, I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. Sometimes things just don’t work out.” JC pulled on her arm, reaching for the pitcher of beer in front of him at the same time. “Remember you and Justin?”

Kate rolled her eyes and finally leaned back into the booth. “That was two years ago and it might have worked out if he hadn’t been so full of himself.”

“What do you mean it ‘might have’?” JC raised an eyebrow and Kate realized what she’d just said.

“You know what I mean! It didn’t. I’m with you. End of story.” She leaned over and kissed his lips, then turned back to Lance. “Fine. You can be all sneaky and not say anything, but you know Gina’s going to tell me either way why she suddenly decided you weren’t good enough or whatever. I don’t buy your story, Bass.”

“Kate, let it go!” Lance was getting agitated and slammed his glass on the table. Kate jumped and bit her lower lip.

“I’m sorry, Lance. I was just…kidding.” She trailed off and got quiet. None of us had ever seen Lance so irritated before. He usually was calm and cool and when a date had gone bad, he’d brush it off but he always told us why. This time, it had been like pulling teeth to get him to say anything.

At that moment, Justin walked up to our table with two girls on each arm. I could hear Joey groan next to me under his breath.

“Just came over to say hello.” Justin was grinning from ear to ear. The girls on either side were young. They had to have been brand new freshmen if not from the local high school.

“Who are your friends?” Liv asked, eyeing them as if they were little bugs she wanted to step on.

“This is Alex.” Justin nodded to the girl on his right, who had flaming red hair and dark brown lip liner. “And this is Emily.” The girl on his left had a short brown bob and earrings that touched her shoulders. They were both dressed as if he’d picked them up at the strip club down the street.

“Nice to meet you.” Koren was wary as she spoke, eyeing them up and down.

“Alex and Emily. Hi. I’m Kate.” Kate reached across the table and with the most fake of smiles shook both their hands.

“Hi.” They both spoke so softly we could barely hear them over the music.

“Are you guys students at Presley?” JC asked and the girls nodded together.

“We met in Economics.” Justin put his arm around both of them. “And now we’re headed over to Jack’s Place for some dancing.” Jack’s Place was the club across the street from our bar.
“Have fun.” I called to them as they turned around. Justin glanced back at us and flashed a smile.

“That’s disgusting.” Liv folded her arms across her chest and leaned against me. “Two? And how old are they? Sixteen?”

“Not to mention I don’t think Alex is wearing anything under that shirt that she’s trying to pass off as a dress.” Kate leaned over to watch them exit the bar.

“Really?” Joey snapped his head back to get one more glance.

“Stop!” Koren pulled him back to his seat. “I know you’re not serious! Those girls looked like little tramps.”

It was then that I noticed Lance looking down at his beer with a sad expression across his face. Kate noticed, too, and touched his arm.

“What?” She asked him and Lance quickly perked up.

“Nothing. I, um, I think I tried to talk to one of those girls last week and they blew me off.” Lance answered and sipped his beer.

“Well, good!” Liv snorted. “You don’t want a slut for a girlfriend anyway, Lance. You can do much better.”

“We’ll find you someone.” Kate patted his hand and tried to reassure him.

“Yeah.” Lance cleared his throat and poured himself another beer.

We got back to the dorm after two the next morning. Lance had been quieter than usual and immediately changed out of his clothes and plopped down on his bed.

“You still upset about that date, man? Or about Kate being so damn insistent?” I threw my shirt on the floor and sat down on my bed that faced his.

“Nah. Just…nothing. I’m tired.” Lance lied down and rolled to his side.

“These girls you go out with are all friends of Kate’s. Maybe you should go talk to that bartender chick next time. She was definitely looking at you tonight.” That was a lie but I wanted to make my friend feel better. Not to mention, he needed to learn how to approach girls without Kate in the way. Sometimes I felt that she was a hindrance because she was always around whenever he met new women.

“Maybe.” Lance yawned and then was silent. I figured he’d fallen asleep and tried to do the same.

“Did he ever actually date anyone?” Joey asks, and I realize he and JC have been having an entire conversation about Lance while I was off in la la land.

“Lance? I mean, yeah. He went on a few dates. Cara Busby. Remember her?” JC recalls and looks over at me. “You remember her, Chris. She was the one you said was in his bed. The only girl in his bed you ever saw, right?”

I chuckle and nod. “Yeah. But they hadn’t slept together. She was drunk and he brought her back to let her sleep it off. I’m pretty sure he slept on the floor that night.”

“He didn’t get with Cara? I thought for sure they were sleeping together.” Joey finished off the last of his Shock Top.

“I don’t know if they ever did. They could have. You could ask Kate. She always seemed to know what he was doing.” I feel somewhat bitter as I spit out that last bit. I like Kate but she was always, always up in our room, even after she started dating JC. I looked over at him. “You didn’t care that they spent that much time together?”

JC shrugs. “I trusted Kate. I still do. She and Lance weren’t your typical best friends. They had this connection and it had nothing to do with sexual attraction. You can just kind of tell when a girl’s not being honest and Kate was always honest about her and Lance.”

“Whatever, man. It was weird to me.” I mutter and look outside at the girls who are huddled together in a circle, a bottle of wine between them.

“You just hated it cause you and Liv couldn’t ever have sex in your room.” Joey teases me and I throw a pillow off the couch at him.

“No, I hated it because I couldn’t study in peace!” That’s a bold face lie and both guys know it. I never studied once in school. I still don’t know how I managed to pass any of my classes because I was always out partying or trying to sleep off whatever I’d drank the night before.

“Study. Yeah. Cause that’s what you did.” JC scoffs and shakes his head. “You think maybe you’re bitter cause Lance never told you stuff that he told Kate?”

“Shouldn’t you be asking yourself that?” It’s out before I can stop it.

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” JC shoots back and edges toward the end of the couch.

“Come on, C. You know Kate told Lance everything before she told you. Hell, I don’t know how you’re not bitter that he knew you were having a baby before you did!” I wait for JC to respond and I can see the anger starting to build on his face.

“Kate and Lance were best friends. You know that!”

“Dude, all I’m saying is that she was always talking to him. I mean, you don’t think it’s weird that you found out about the baby after he did? I’d be pissed as hell if Liv had done that.”

“Well, that’s the difference in me and you. I didn’t care if she told Lance first. Why should that even matter? Lance is gone and if she hadn’t told him, he would’ve died without knowing and that might have killed her spirit even more.” JC is raising his voice at me now.

“It should matter. You guys were engaged. And she was spending a hell of a lot more time with him than she was with you.” I raise my voice to match his.

“Why the fuck does that even matter so much to you? What did Kate ever do to you that pisses you off so much?” JC has asked a great question. I just wish I knew the answer. There was just something about Kate I’ve never really cared for and I don’t know what it is.

“C’mon, guys, cool it.” Joey tries breaking the ice, something he and I are usually able to do without a problem. “Let’s not cause anymore drama than there already is.”

“She knew something.” I say before JC has a chance to speak. “She knew something about him.”

“What? That he cheated on his Music History exam? Everyone knows that.” JC walks into the kitchen to throw out his beer bottle.

“No. She knew something else. You can ask her. She’s not going to tell you.” I look down at my hands and don’t look back up.

“And how can you be so sure?” JC asks from the kitchen.

“Call it a hunch.” I retort. “I’m going to bed. This has been a great first night.” I’m being completely sarcastic and I don’t care. Suddenly all I want is to be away from both Joey and JC.

Liv

They know something’s wrong. Both of them can tell. We’ve been beating around the bush since being outside with our bottle of wine. The conversation has gone from our kids to Koren’s latest real estate success story and now we’re talking about anything but Lance and the obvious tension I know Chris and I have created.

And then, it comes.

“So, what is it?” Kate asks, almost without skipping a beat in conversation.

“What?” I ask and circle the rim of my wine glass with my finger.

“Don’t fuck with us. What happened with you and Chris?” Koren places her wine glass down and folds her arms across her chest. “We’re waiting. And frankly, it’s probably a good idea if you just come out and tell us and know that neither of us judge you.”

“She’s right.” Kate agrees and waits for me to speak.

“I, well, I sort of had an…affair.” I realize it’s the first time I’ve told anyone outside of my counselor in Nashville. It’s easier than I thought but also feels as though a huge gavel will come down on my head at any minute.

“You slept with someone?” Koren gasps and then covers her mouth. “Sorry. That’s not how that was supposed to come out.”

I shake my head. “No. It was more emotional than anything else. It was text messages. A few times we said what we’d like to do if we were alone but I always stopped it before it could go any further.”

The girls are silent and don’t say anything for what feels to me like hours. I know it’s only been seconds, though.

“Um, so, does Chris know?” Kate finally asks.

I nod. “Yeah. He found the texts while I was in the shower once. We had a huge fight. We’re in counseling now but I don’t think he really wants to go on with the marriage.” Tears are streaming down my face and I let them fall. “I love him but things changed so much, you know? He hasn’t worked in months and lied to me about that. He’d go out like he was going to work and then go chill in a café all day. His agent called the house once looking for him and let it slip that he’d finally found Chris a job. It all came out then.”

“Had you already started the affair?” Koren asks.

“Well, yeah. It had been going on for a few weeks by then.” I find it hard to look at my friends in the eye so I just keep my head down. “I don’t know if the guys know now or not. But please don’t say anything.”

“We won’t.” Koren assures me.

“It looks like Chris isn’t even in there, anyway.” Kate is looking in the house where JC and Joey look as if they are deep in discussion.

“He’s probably in bed. He’s a party pooper these days.” I stand to my feet with my wine glass. “I’m going inside. We’ll talk more about it later, okay?”

Kate and Koren get up and the three of us hug each other. I’m reminded of a similar hug we shared many years ago.

“It’s gonna be okay.” I was doing my best to be the comforter, a role I found I was good at in college.

“He’s dead, Livvy!” Kate was sobbing and it was hard to understand her muffled cries. “Why didn’t he tell us he was so miserable?”

“You know how he was.” Koren lifted her head from my shoulder and wiped her eyes. “He always kept stuff in.”

“I don’t understand.” Kate pulled away from us and looked over at the police who were speaking with Chris in front of the dorm. “Do you think Chris knew anything?”

“Kate, if anyone knew anything it was you.” I reminded her. “You’re his best friend.”

Kate could only shake her head. “I swear, Liv. The last time I saw him he was telling me what an awesome mom I was going to be and that I had nothing to worry about when I told Josh.”

Chris came over to us, still shaken up. He grabbed me in a hug and for the first time in four years, bursts into tears on my shoulder. I’d never seen him cry like that. Then again, it’s not that often one of your best friends commits suicide and you’re the one that finds him.

Justin

If I’m honest, I’ve lost touch with all of the people I’m supposed to be having this long weekend with in 24 hours. I was growing out of the friendship before we even left college.

But I can put on a front.

The truth is, they all bug me.

Kate whines.

Koren brags.

Liv sulks.

Joey’s a pushover.

Chris isn’t funny.

JC is a know-it-all.

I put up with it for four years and after graduation, I tried to fall off their grid.

But Kate goes to whatever extremes she can to find her friends. She kept up with me on Facebook. And five years ago when we had this stupid reunion, she begged me to come. I relented and did.

Besides, we never finished what we started nineteen years ago.

Joey

The girls all walk back in with solemn expressions on their faces. Liv says nothing, just goes upstairs. Koren and Kate walk over to me and JC. Koren sits on the arm of the couch next to where I am and Kate plops down on JC’s lap in the loveseat.

“Is Liv okay?” JC asks Kate, who shrugs.

“I think this weekend is just a lot.” Kate replies and runs her hand through her hair. “It’s only quarter til ten. Remember when we could stay up all night?”

“Yeah, but we’ve also all been traveling.” Koren reminds her. “Even I’m beat and it’s still early in California.” She yawns and stands up. “Are you coming to bed?”

I nod and stand up with her. “Yeah. Following you, babe.” I turn back to JC. “Hey, sorry about…that earlier thing.”

JC just shrugs and strokes Kate’s arm aimlessly. “It’s okay. He’s obviously stressed or upset or something.”

“Are you talking about Chris?” Kate looks from JC up at me.

“Yeah. He got a little agitated earlier.” JC tries to be nonchalant in his response but I can see Kate glancing at Koren.

“Ok, well, goodnight guys.” Koren walks ahead of me up the stairs just as Kate is about to say something else.

Once we get up to our room, Koren sits on the edge of the bed and looks at me. “Did Chris talk to you?”

I know exactly what she’s referring to just by the look in her eyes.

“Yeah. About Liv?” I’m trying to speak softly. Chris and Liv are next door to us and after Chris’ reaction earlier the last thing I need is him storming in here yelling at us.

“Mmhm.” Koren shakes her head. “I never would have expected Liv to, well, you know.”

I just nod. I don’t know if Koren knows the truth about our second year of college. It’s too late, though, because she’s already seen the look on my face.

“What?” She stands from the bed and goes over to the suitcase by the window. “You look like you want to say something.”

I can’t hide anything from Koren. She knows me much too well.

“It’s just, well, I guess I can’t get too mad at Liv. Did she ever mention anyone named Dayna to you?” I’m leaning against the dresser as Koren unzips her suitcase. She pauses and turns slightly towards me.

“Dayna?”

Chris

“I’m leaving, baby.” Liv told me as she and Koren headed towards the exit of the bar.

I looked at her in a drunken state, my eyes glazed over, still feeling the buzz taking over me. “Aw, come on, Livvy. Just one more dance!”

At that moment “Party Up” by DMX started blaring through the club. I grabbed Liv, forcing her back on the dance floor.

“You have to dance to this one!” I yelled at her over the music.

Liv rolled her eyes and moved away from me. “Chris, I’m tired and my English Lit paper is due tomorrow at 6am. It’s almost one. That means I have to be up for the next three hours so I can get it done. Goodnight.” Liv kissed me and walked off with Koren behind her.

“Where’d they go?” Kate called to me. She was walking out onto the dance floor with JC behind her.

“Liv has a paper. I guess Koren did, too.” I shrugged and walked back to the bar. Joey was there ordering a beer.

“Our girls left us.” He looked defeated. “I tried to convince them to stay but Koren says she was exhausted from nannying all day and Liv…”

“…Had a paper.” I finished for him. “C’mon. The night’s still young. Lance is out there on the floor with Kate and JC.”

“Where’d Justin go?” Joey followed me back out to where everyone else was.

I shrugged. “Beats me.” Justin had disappeared earlier that night with yet another girl from either the local high school or the freshmen class. He was good at that.

“So watch what you do or you gon’ find yourself buried next to someone else and we all thought you loved yourself..” DMX blared and seemed to get louder and the beer I had disappeared before I knew it.

“Another?” I asked Joey and made my way back to the bar before he could answer.

“Hey, Chris.” I looked up next to me and there stood Dayna Evans, my partner in Health and Physical Fitness. It was an easy A class and I’d only taken it because of that fact. Dayna had been my partner last semester for the physical fitness portion.

“Hey!” I smiled at her and took the beer from the bartender. “How’s it going?”

“Ok.” Dayna answered and I saw she was nursing an Appletini. “My boyfriend and I just broke up today. I’m trying to forget about it.”

“Oh shit, Dayna. I’m so sorry to hear that.” I found an empty bar stool and pulled it next to her.

“Yeah. I mean, it was probably for the best. You know, that’s what everyone says.” She tugged on a piece of her brown hair and then put it behind her ear.

“Y’all gon’ make me act a fool, up in here, up in here…”

I turned my attention back to the dance floor where Joey was dancing near JC and Kate with two random girls that I was pretty sure Koren would flip a lid over if she’d seen them. JC and Kate were oblivious to anyone else and I had to smirk. Kate looked as though she would tell JC to take her right then and there she was so lost in him.

“So, how’s this semester going for you so far?” I took a long chug of beer.

Dayna shrugged. “It’s ok. I’m finally taking classes for my major.”

“Which is what again?” I asked.

“Journalism.”

“Right. Cool.” I nodded at her and ordered another beer. I was throwing them back tonight, that was for sure.

Forty-five minutes later, I was pretty drunk after five beers in a row and Dayna had just ordered a third Appletini. We were laughing at something one of us had said and then Amber’s “Sexual” began to play.

“Wanna dance?” I asked her, getting up.

She nodded and followed me out to the dance floor.

“Don’t you know that when you touch me baby that it’s torture…brush up against me I get chills all down my spine…”

Dayna threw her arms around my neck and my arms rested around her lower back.

“Don’t make this intellectual…the way I feel is sexual…the way I feel is sexual…”

The music seemed to get louder and louder and all I could see was Dayna dancing with me in perfect rhythm. She swiveled her hips with mine, turned around and purposely backed into me.

“Shit.” I muttered into her ear and I heard her chuckle softly. My mind was hazy and alcohol had done its duty.

Dayna turned back around and her arms were wrapped tightly around my neck. I looked down at her and soon it was as though I’d forgotten that Liv had even existed.

“Chris!”

I broke away from Dayna and looked up to see Kate throwing daggers at me with her eyes.

“Um.” I pushed Dayna aside and tried to play it all off as though it weren’t a big deal.

“You little shit!” Kate was also drunk and a drunk Kate was never a pretty sight.

“Babe, calm down. Come on. Let’s just go.” JC pulled her back to him and the next thing I knew they had left.

All I could picture was that Kate would go straight to Liv and tell her everything.

“Um, let’s get another drink,” I said quickly to Dayna and she agreed by following me back to the bar.

“Sorry.” Dayna apologized. “I didn’t mean to-“

“Hey, it’s just as much my fault.” I interrupted her. “Don’t worry. I’ll talk to Liv.”

At three, the last call came and everyone started piling out of the bar. Joey followed me and Dayna outside.

“Can you walk me back to my dorm?” Dayna asked me. I heard Joey snort but ignored it.

“Sure.” I stumbled behind her.

“Be careful.” It was the last thing I heard Joey say to me as I walked next to Dayna across the street.

Joey

“And then what happened?” Koren was sitting on the bed next to me.

“Chris didn’t come back til the next day.” I tell her and lay back on the bed. I rub my eyes and groan. “So I guess Kate never told Liv, then?”

“Not that I know of.” Koren lies down next to me. “You know Kate would have blabbed to both of us. She’s not the best at keeping secrets.”

“She kept that one.” I point out.

“Well, that’s…true.” Koren finally sighs. “I don’t know. Maybe Kate was really drunk that night and forgot.”

“Could be.” I pull Koren next to me so that her head is resting on my chest. “You would have told me if you cheated on me? Right?”

“Kor, you know I liked to flirt but I never cheated.” I kiss her lips and she grins up at me.

“I know. I just like to be assured. After being with everyone here, it just makes me realize we might be the most lucky couple here…”

JC

“What?”

I break out of my trance and look at Kate. I realize I’ve been staring at her for the better part of the last minute.

“Nothing, honey. I was just…thinking.” That part was true. I have been thinking. I’ve been thinking about how Kate has been holding back something from me and I’m just now beginning to wonder what it is. After talking to Chris and Joey earlier, I’m now starting to think she might really know more than she’s let on these last fifteen years.

“Well, you won’t believe what Liv told us tonight.” Kate continues and starts to change into her pajamas. “She’s been having an affair.”

“I know.” I roll onto my side and watch as she pulls her sundress over her head. “Chris told us.”

Kate whips her head around and looks at me with a curious expression. “What did he say?”

“Tell me what Liv said first.” I prop my cheek on my chin and continue watching Kate throw her bra in the suitcase. I can’t help but think that even after two kids and fifteen years, Kate is still as sexy to me as she was when I first met her.

“She just admitted that she had had an emotional affair with some man she met at her kids’ school.” Kate says and throws a long t-shirt over her head. She crawls into bed next to me and pulls my arm around her waist.

I kiss her and then pull away. “That’s what Chris said. Well, for the most part.”

Kate frowns. “What? Do you want to tell me something?”

I hesitate and she can already tell I’m holding back. “Babe, do you have something you’re not telling me? I mean, about Lance?”

Kate looks shocked. Or else she’s feigning shock. “What? Josh, of course not! You know I would have already said something to you!”

I have to chuckle. Kate can be so dramatic sometimes. “I know, baby. I just had to ask. That’s all.” I don’t tell her that Chris thinks she’s hiding something. There’s no need for that. I don’t need this weekend to be even more chaotic than it’s already turning out to be.

Kate settles next to me and pulls me on top of her. “Wanna finish what we started in the kitchen?”

I can’t ever say no to her. Not since we first slept together in our harried, drunken state and not now.

Kate

It doesn’t take long for JC to fall asleep after we make love. I kiss him and get up from the bed, watching him breathe rhythmically as he sleeps. I shudder at the thought that JC thinks I’m hiding something from him. It’s bugging me to no end.

I know I’m not going to be able to fall asleep, so I decide to head back downstairs.

It’s completely dark and the only sound I can hear is the waves crashing on the shore outside. I grab a blanket from the back of the couch and curl up in the recliner, looking out at the darkness.

Life seemed so much simpler back when we were in college. Granted, most of that time was spent drinking and having sex and occasionally studying. For Lance and me it was mostly spent memorizing lines in the theatre building. That’s really how we’d bonded.

“Ok, so if I come in stage right and you come down center stage, would that make sense?” Lance was standing in the middle of the black box theatre reading over our assigned script for our acting class.

“Um, I think so. Let’s try it.” I was sitting on the floor and stood to join him. I went to the middle of the stage and waited for Lance to say his first line.

“Brenda? Where are you?” He came on stage right, waiting for me to enter.

“I’m right here, Dave! I told you I was going to be late!” I ran down center stage and met him in the middle. Just as he was about to cross towards me, he tripped over his feet and stumbled to the ground.

“Are you okay?” I asked, going over to him and helping him up.

“Yes. Dammit. I’m so klutzy. Wanna start over?”

“Sure.” I smiled at him and walked back to my position on the stage. “Also, is it me or does this script kind of blow?”

Lance snickered. “No, it definitely blows. I heard a former student wrote it and Dr. Mason is just keeping it for acting exercises.”

“Well, maybe we doctor it up a little.” I suggested and walked off the stage to my book bag to dig for a pen.

“Um, we probably shouldn’t.” Lance cleared his throat. “I mean, I don’t want us to get in trouble.”

I turned and faced him. “Trouble? Lance, we’re in college, not high school. And we’re doing the future acting students of Presley College a favor!” I sat down and beckoned him over to me. “Come on. This scene is ridiculous. ‘Brenda’ is always running late because she’s grocery shopping? What is this, 1955?” I started to cross out dialogue and Lance just stood there looking at me as if I was crazy. “What?” I looked up at him.

“You’re serious.” It was a statement and not a question.

“Well, of course I’m serious!” I retorted. “Look, if Dr. Mason sees our scene with a few tweaks, what’s the worst he can do?”

“Um, how about fail us?!” Lance was honestly worried.

“You’ve never done anything remotely ‘bad’ have you, Bass?” It was the first time I’d ever used just his last name.

“No.” At least he was honest.

“Well, Lancey, it’s time we changed that!” I threw a pen at him. “Start writing. I promise it’s going to be fine. And really, if this is the worst thing you do in college – changing a scene in a lousy script – then I don’t know if we can be friends.”

I chuckle as I think back on that day. We’d known each other for about a week. We revamped it and our professor loved it.

“Oh Bass.” I say out loud to no one in particular. “What the hell were you thinking leaving us like that? That wasn’t how it was supposed to be.”

I then remember my conversation with my husband just minutes earlier and am still perplexed as to how he even has an indication that I’m hiding something from him.

How the hell is he so intuitive, anyway?

Justin

As I approach the beach house, the sun is just coming up. It’s close to six in the morning and I’ve been driving all night from Miami. I made a few stops here and there and I might’ve stayed a little longer than I wanted at a strip club off I-75.

But I made it, just like I told them I would.

I park behind JC’s SUV, observing the house before I get out of my car. I know what awaits me once I step inside. The usual fake greetings, Kate’s cold, but necessary hug, Liv’s bitchy glare, Chris’ dumb joke about why I’m late. Koren and Joey will brag about how amazing their life is out in L.A. JC will try to tell me why I should’ve left earlier.

And you wonder why I’m even here?

I finally step out of the car, throwing my duffel bag over my shoulder. I let out a sigh and head up the steps of the front porch.

When I open the door, I find Kate asleep on the couch, the television on mute. The house is quiet other than Kate’s rhythmic breathing and I can’t help but wonder if her and JC got into it the night before. Then again, if that were the case, JC would be on the couch if I know Kate like I think I do.

I walk around the couch and into the kitchen, throwing my duffel bag on the island. There’s a Keurig by the refrigerator and I immediately turn it on and search the cupboards for a mug. The coffee selections are all flavored shit that I know Kate has bought because as much as she claims to be a coffee snob, she would rather drink a hazelnut latte than regular Colombian roasted beans.

I hear her stir and look over as I’m putting the mug under the filter. She’s rolled over and her hair is covering her face slightly, but I can still see her eyes are closed.

The coffee brews and I shut off the Keurig before heading over and settling across from Kate in the recliner. I haven’t seen her in five years and as much as I hate her, for some reason, she’s the first one I want to see.

I prop my feet on the coffee table in front of me and watch her sleep. It’s started to rain outside and the only sounds in the living room are Kate’s breathing, the rain pattering on the windows, and me sipping my coffee.

A loud clap of thunder nearly makes me drop my mug and Kate immediately gasps and is startled awake. She jerks her head and looks right at me and lets out a yelp.

“Shit, Justin! You scared the hell out of me!”

Kate

“Aw, Kate, is that any way to greet an old friend?” Justin puts his coffee mug down in front of him and folds his arms behind his head.

I rub my eyes and try and get my bearings. I knew I fell asleep down here after JC and I had sex and I feel bad that I never made it back upstairs to him.

“When did you get in?” I finally ask him, leaning against the back of the couch.

Justin shrugs and reaches for his mug. “’Bout ten minutes ago.” He looks at me. “Why aren’t you upstairs with your husband?”

“I couldn’t sleep.” I wasn’t about to tell him why.

“Fighting?”

“No. Nothing like that. I just….couldn’t fall asleep. And it was pointless to lay up there with him and toss and turn when he was sleeping.”

“Uh huh.”

Silence. I don’t know what else to say to him. It more or less sucks because when I first met Justin, we were pretty good friends. We went on a date and it just didn’t end well. Sometimes I wonder if he ever got over that, but I figure enough time has passed that I’m probably just being paranoid.

“So how’s everyone else?” Justin leans forward in the recliner, cupping the mug of coffee in both hands.

“Fine. We were all pretty tired last night when we got in. We had pizza and we were gonna lay out today but…” I trail off and look outside where it’s started raining heavily. “Looks like that’s out.”

“Eh, it’s Florida. It’ll clear up soon enough.” Justin responds and sips his coffee. “You look good, Kate.”

“Thanks.” I smile at him. “I’m glad you could make it. Even if you are late.” I can’t help but point it out and wink at him.

“Come on, I’ll walk you back to your dorm.” Justin grabbed my hand as we got out of his car. I smiled at him, already thinking of how full of himself he’d been back at the bar and dinner before that. I had heard several stories of how he’d been a star athlete and star of every play and musical at his former high school. I had gotten bored a long time ago.

“Ok. Sure.” It couldn’t hurt because before the date, we’d been friends. He was still charming when he wanted to be.

My dorm was on the top of the hill and was a coveted freshmen girls’ dorm called Van Cooper. It was the newest and nicest of any other dorm on campus, besides the upper class apartments on the other side.

“Wow. Van Cooper. I’ve heard about this dorm,” Justin said to me as I pulled out my dorm key.

“Yep. Hard wood floors and we each share a bathroom with our roommate and not the entire hall.” I had wanted Van Cooper from the moment I’d visited Presley last year.

“Can I see?” Justin asked as I opened the main door.

I shrugged. “Sure. I think my roommate’s out for the weekend so we don’t have to worry about waking her up.”

Justin followed me as I walked up the first set of stairs, then turned right down the hallway. My room was the third door on the left right across from Liv and Koren.

Unlocking the door, I let Justin enter the room after me. The bunk beds were pushed against the window and there were two desks on either side of the wall. He chuckled at the poster of Ben Affleck above my desk.

“Celebrity crush?” He walked over to the poster and examined it.

“You could say that,” I replied and threw my keys on my desk. “So, this is it. Not much but the room is supposed to be bigger than the other dorm rooms on campus.”

“Yeah, I don’t feel like I’m in a walk-in closet,” Justin noted and turned to me. “I had a lot of fun, Kate.”

“Me too,” I lied but feigned a perfect smile. “Thanks.”

He edged closer towards me. “It was my pleasure.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his lips onto mine. I gave in and kissed him back. It wasn’t until I felt him pulling me over to the bunk bed that I pushed him away.

“What?” He asked me with a gleam in his eye.

“Sorry, Justin. I think a kiss is all you’re gonna get tonight.” It was the nicest way I could turn him down.

He responded by kissing me again, this time harder.

“Justin, no, stop.” I pushed away from him and he glared at me.

“Oh come on, Kate. Don’t pretend you didn’t like that!” He edged towards me again but I moved away.

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea. Sorry.” I was praying he would get the hint this time.

“Yeah. Ok. I get it. See you around.” He turned on his heel and slammed the door behind him.

We didn’t speak to each other for about a month after that, until he started hanging around Lance.

JC

I roll over to an empty spot next to me where Kate usually lies. Rubbing my eyes and yawning, I slowly lift myself up and stare around the room. I let out a sigh and dangle my legs over the side of the bed, yawning once more before I decide to get up and go downstairs. It’s still early, but for some reason I’m wide awake. And my wife isn’t next to me, which is unusual for her.

I open the door and hear commotion downstairs and immediately wonder who else is up at this hour. Walking towards the staircase, I hear Kate and another familiar voice.

Justin.

As I edge closer to the top of the stairs I look down into the living room. He’s sitting across from Kate and leaning towards her. My heart immediately pumps faster and I do all I can to ignore the twinge of jealousy I’m feeling.

The thing is, I know Justin wanted her first. I know he tried to make out with her. I know he hated me for a long time but faked a friendship with me to get closer to Kate. Maybe Kate didn’t know all of that, but I feel like I’m pretty intuitive when it comes to the way men look at women. And there were plenty of times I caught Justin looking at Kate in a way that I didn’t like.

“Good morning.” I break the conversation by coming down the stairs. Kate turns and smiles at me, a sheepish expression on her face.

“Baby, I’m sorry I left you in the middle of the night. I couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to keep you up tossing and turning.” She stands up and walks over to meet me at the bottom of the stairs. I kiss her forcefully, or as forcefully as I can for that early in the morning. I don’t let her know it, but I’m giving Justin a subtle hint that this is my wife.

“It’s ok. I forgive you.” I wink at her and put my arm around her waist, walking back over to the couch. “Hey, Justin. Good to see you.”

Justin is looking up at me over the rim of his coffee mug. “You too, C.” He stands and we shake hands. I can tell he’s forcing it but so am I.

I sit down with Kate on the couch and she snuggles up next to me. She’s warm and still smells of her perfume from the day before.

“How long did it take you to get here?” I ask Justin.

He shrugs. “Eh, you know. I had to stop off a few places between Miami and here. So I guess around five hours had I not made pit stops.” He sips his coffee and the cockiness exudes from him.

“What in the world is so interesting between here and Miami? Isn’t it mostly-“

“Strip joints.” I can’t help but interrupt Kate and as soon as I do, Justin glowers at me.

“Josh!” Kate laughs uneasily and looks over at Justin. “Please don’t tell me you actually stopped at those cheap strip joints!”

“Of course not. I have more class than that!” Justin stands up and walks back into the kitchen, dumping the remainder of his coffee into the sink. He turns back to us. “Believe it or not, I do have other friends other than you people.”

“You can see us for free, though.” I can’t help but keep riding him about it. Justin was notorious in school for sleeping with anything that walked his way. “Strippers cost money.”

“Dude, it’s not funny.” Justin stood in the kitchen, looking as if he wanted to punch me.

“Calm down. He’s kidding.” Kate looked up at me. “Josh, stop it!” she hissed at me and looked back at Justin. “I think we’re making pancakes this morning. Koren promised to bring her blueberry pancake recipe.”

I know Kate’s trying to act as though there’s nothing wrong and that the tension with me and Justin is nonexistent but she’s doing a terrible job.

Justin doesn’t say anything back to her, only comes back into the living room and walks over to his duffel bag.

“Where’s my room?” He’s ignored the statement about breakfast.

“Upstairs. Last door on the right.” Kate is trying to remain cheerful but it’s not working. “Are you going to sleep?”

“I’m gonna try.” Justin starts to head up the stairs.

“Should we wake you up for breakfast?” Kate calls after him.

“No.” Justin answers and doesn’t turn back. The next thing we hear is him stomping down the hall and the door closing behind him.

“Why did you have to keep going on about the damn strip joint?” Kate turns back to me, a frustrated expression on her face.

“It was a joke!” I reply in defense.

“Why do you always have to tease him?” Kate huffs. “It’s bad enough that Liv and Chris want to kill each other but I don’t need you and Justin at each other’s throats, too!”

I stare at her as though I can’t believe what I’m hearing. She’s more worried about Justin’s damn feelings and keeping the peace at this fake little get together where we all pretend to miss someone who was so distant the last year of his life that I sometimes forget why the hell we’re even here.

“Kate, come off it.” I snap at her and she winces. “You know as much as you want to believe it, nobody really wants to be here right now. It’s over. I mean, last night, I thought Chris was going to punch me out if Joey hadn’t been there. Nobody cares anymore. Lance killed himself and it sucks and I hate it, but you know that we’re all just forcing it.”

Kate has tears in her eyes and as a single tear falls down her cheek, she briskly wipes it away, then stands up. “Fuck you. Maybe you’re forcing it, but I have to believe that everyone else wants to be here to remember our friend!”

She is up the stairs before I have a chance to say anything else to her.

Liv

“He’s going to find out.”

“Maybe he won’t. Maybe we can –“

“No, he’s going to find out. You know Lance can’t keep his mouth shut.”

“But –“

“No. We have to do something about it.”

I wake up in a cold sweat and my pulse is racing. Chris is next to me, snoring softly and occasionally letting out a deep breath. I’m shaking. I hate that dream. I hate that flashback. I hate –

I stop and hear someone stomping past our door. I slowly lift myself out of bed and walk to the door, opening it and seeing Kate slip into the bedroom she and JC are sharing. The door shuts firmly behind her. I can’t help but think there’s trouble in paradise.

It’s kind of a relief. They’ve been the perfect couple for far too long.

I roll out of bed and stumble into the bathroom to brush my teeth and brush out the tangles in my hair. I’m not quiet about it and don’t regard my husband who is still sleeping. As far as I’m concerned, he needs to get up, too.

Walking out of the room, I see the door across from our room slightly crack open. Justin is staring back at me.

“Hey, Livvy.”

I look at him and smile. “Hi, Justin.”

“I was just gonna take a little nap. I’ll be down later.” He nods at me, then shuts the door. I stand in front of his bedroom door for a moment or two and try to shake off any thoughts of the past.

It was late and I knew I should go back to the dorm. Chris had just told me goodnight at the bar and I was waiting on JC and Kate to finish their round of pool. I turned around and watched them together by the billiard table.

 JC was kissing her and she was pushed against the edge. They were giggling about something and Kate threw her head back and picked up the cue stick. She seductively backed into him and JC shook his head at her, grabbed the stick and threw it on the table. She pretended to be offended and JC just laughed at her. He bent down to whisper something in her ear and Kate bit her lower lip, nodding at him.

“Are you guys ready?” I called to them. I was trying not to show how irritated I was. It was late and my boyfriend had opted not to walk me back to my dorm and, when I asked him to sleep over at his place, he’d said no, that Lance was up late studying for an exam.

“Yep.” JC dragged Kate by the arm and they walked over to me. I didn’t say anything, just walked in front of them.

“What’s wrong, Livvy?” Kate asked, sidling up beside me, her fingers linked through JC’s.

“I’m just tired.” I certainly wasn’t going to tell her that I had been rejected by my boyfriend. Especially since I knew what Kate and JC were going to do when they got back to his dorm room. Kate had never experienced that, I was sure of it. From the beginning of their relationship, Kate had never once complained that she wasn’t getting sex.

I hated that about her.

“Drop you off at Van Cooper?” JC asked as his car pulled into campus.

“Uh, yeah.” I muttered. I was sitting in the backseat, not really paying attention to the conversation JC and Kate were having about some movie they wanted to see later that weekend.

He pulled in front of the dorm and I opened the door. I glanced at Kate. “I’m assuming you’re not coming in?” Kate smirked and shook her head. “Ok. Well, see you tomorrow.” I slammed the car door and trudged towards the entrance of the dorm.

“Liv?”

I looked up and saw Justin coming out of the front door. “Hey. What’s up?”

“Nothing. Just, um, getting back from a date.” Justin walked over to me and gave me a quick hug. “Where’s Chris?”

“In his room. Kate and JC just dropped me off.” I gestured toward the path JC’s car had taken. “You going home?”

“Not if JC and Kate are fucking in our room.” Justin scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“You can come upstairs and hang out with me. I’m pretty sure Koren’s with Joey.” I opened the door of the dorm and Justin shrugged.

“Sure, why not.”

He followed me up to the third floor. Junior year was when the three of shared a dorm. Koren and I shared one room while Kate had a room to herself. In the middle was a small living room. It was the only room on the hall with a living area between the two rooms and because we were upper classmen, we’d managed to score it at the last minute.

“Got anything to drink?” Justin asked, as he sat down on the couch.

“Water and some beer.” I opened the tiny refrigerator next to the television.

“Beer.” Justin settled into the couch while I took two beers out of the refrigerator. I sat down next to him and he took one of the cans of beer from my hand. He looked at it. “Damn. Stella Artois? Fancy.”

“That’s Kate. She only drinks imported beer.” I rolled my eyes.

“Only the finest for Katie.” Justin shook his head and I snickered, knowing how much Kate hated that nickname.

“Anyway,” I said, changing the subject. “How was your date?”

Justin chugged his beer. “Well, it’s over and it’s not even midnight. What does that tell you?”

“It tells me that you could’ve fucked her and left.” I eyed him and we both chuckled.

“Something like that. But she was awful. Not experienced at all. And I’m pretty sure she faked it.” Justin leaned back and rolled his neck around until it cracked.

“Well, sometimes we have to fake it.” I realized what I’d said and immediately regretted it. “I mean, uh, not that I do, but-“

“Oh, so you’ve never faked it with Chris?” Justin cut me off. “Really?”

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. “Maybe. Once or, or twice.”

“Huh.” Justin raised an eyebrow and looked away.

“What?” I put my beer on the coffee table and turned to face him.

“The way Chris talks, you’d think you were some kind of a porn star,” he said.

“What? No. No, I’m not a porn star and what the hell is he even talking to you for about our sex life?” I was blushing and not hiding the fact that I was angry in the least.

“They all talk about it. JC, Joey, Chris. It’s like a thing with them. I can tell you JC and Kate are into some kinky shit and Koren likes it when Joey fucks her in the shower and you…well, you like it when Chris goes downtown.” Justin catches my eye. “Is that because he can’t get you off any other way?”

“Damn.” I couldn’t help but own up to it and Justin knew it.

An hour later, we had finished off three beers each and had a great buzz going. I don’t really remember much except that before I knew it, we were making out on the couch. And after that, we were going at it pretty hard and fast. We were so into it that I didn’t hear the door open.

“Liv!”

I gasped and pushed Justin off of me. Kate was standing next to the couch. Judging by the look on her face, she had seen it all.

Koren

It was quiet downstairs when Joey and I finally emerged from the bedroom. Liv was at the kitchen table drinking coffee and watching the rain. Other than her, everybody else was still upstairs.

“Hi.” I greet my friend as Joey and I make our way into the kitchen. “Did you sleep well?”

Liv shrugs. “Sure. I guess. Chris snored most of the night.”

Silence. Joey clears his throat and goes over to the Keurig. “Hey, babe, you want regular or flavored coffee?”

“Flavored.” I sit down across from Liv. “Hey, I was thinking maybe we could go into town if it doesn’t stop raining. I’m sure Kate will want to go shopping later.”

“Maybe.” Liv sips her coffee and stares off into space. I figure it’s because of her fight with Chris the night before or just the situation in general. The door to the bathroom next to the kitchen opens and JC steps out, nodding at us as he walks over.

“Is Kate still asleep?” Joey asks him, while he waits for his coffee.

“Yeah.” JC averts his eyes away from Joey and sits down across from Liv and me. “Justin got in earlier. He’s upstairs taking a nap.”

“Ok so what does everyone want to eat?” Joey is banging around the kitchen cabinets. “I thought I saw pancake mix in here somewhere.”

“Do you have to slam those cabinets, Joe?” JC rubs his eyes and yawns. “Some of us are still waking up.”

“Sorry.” Joey gives a sheepish grin and I smile back at him. He finds the pancake mix and I decide to get up and help him. Liv is still sitting at the table, lost in her own world.

“Good morning.” Chris greets us from the stairwell. He’s still groggy and waking up. He comes into the kitchen and puts a hand on Liv’s shoulder. “Hey, babe.”

“Hi.” Liv is forcing a smile and we can all tell. I can’t help but wish that we were really back in college for just a split second. Things are so tense right now. I miss the chemistry we all once had and I realize now what it is that Kate is trying to save.

“And you’re sure she has no idea?” Chris asked me again for the umpteenth time that night. We were surprising Liv for her 21st birthday at Chicks. Kate had gone to pick her up and had convinced her we were just having a girls’ night. Liv had no idea that we were all there to surprise her.

“Chris, if you ask me again, I’m going to punch you. Yes, she has no idea. I talked to her today and she is clueless!” I was exasperated but thought it was cute how much Chris wanted to make this work.

Just then, the door opened and Kate and Liv walked into the bar. We all appeared from behind tables and the bar and yelled, “Surprise!”

Liv gasped and put her hand over her mouth. Chris immediately went over to her and kissed her. “Happy Birthday, Livvy Lou.”

“Oh my god, Chris, you said you had to work!” Liv giggled and kissed him again. She looked around at all of us, her friends, and shook her head. “You guys! I can’t believe you pulled this off.”

“It was Kate’s idea.” Chris gestured to Kate. “She told me you’d never suspect it.”

Kate grinned. “Happy Birthday, Livvy!”

We partied into the wee hours of the morning that evening. It was one of the best nights we’d ever had. There was a beer pong game on the pool table, Chris and Joey challenged Lance and Justin to a game of darts, and Kate made sure Liv had the proper drinks for her 21st.

“This is a what?” Liv looked at Kate as if she was crazy.

“A blow job shot.” Kate handed one to me as well. “It’s easy. You just take the shot glass in your mouth and shoot it. But you can’t use your hands.”

“Why do they call it a blow job shot?” Liv asked.

“Because it looks like jizz coming out of your mouth when you shoot it!” Joey yelled from the other end of the pool table.

“Thanks, Joey.” Kate rolled her eyes. She looked at me and Liv. “Ok, girls, ready?”

“Guys! You gotta see this!” Chris called to the others. “The girls are about to do blow job shots!”

Our boyfriends fought each other to see who had the best view while the three of us took the shot glass in our mouth and threw it back. Whipped cream was dripping down the sides of our mouths and we were laughing as we lapped it up.

Later on, we tried body shots and at one point, Chris and Liv disappeared into the bathroom together. When they came out they were giddy and all over each other. I couldn’t help but smile at them. They were adorable together.

When Justin comes downstairs, everybody has gathered around for breakfast. He saunters into the kitchen and hellos and hi-fives are given with Joey and Chris.

“So, what are we doing today?” he asks, as we all sit around the kitchen table and start to eat.

“I guess the beach is out.” I look over at the picture window and the rain hasn’t let up. “I suggested to Liv that we could go shopping in town.” I’m talking to Kate now and Liv is looking down at her plate.

“Oh, that could be fun!” Kate’s eyes widen and look at JC. “And you guys could…uh, maybe see a movie?”

JC snickers at her. “We’ll find something to entertain us, honey.”

“I don’t know if I want to go shopping.” Liv speaks up and is looking from Kate to me. “Sorry, guys. I think I’m just going to stay in today.”

“Livvy, we only get one more day here together.” I state. “It’ll be fun. You don’t have to buy anything.”

“Oh, are you saying that because you know Chris is out of work and we can’t afford it?” Liv suddenly snaps and the table becomes uncomfortably quiet.

“Um, no. No, Liv. I was just saying it would be, fun, or something.” I shut up and shake my head.

“Thanks for letting everyone know.” Chris mutters and Liv groans and throws her napkin on the table.

“It’s not like they don’t already know!” Liv stands up abruptly and pushes her chair away from the table. “Excuse me, I don’t feel like eating much right now.”

“Livvy-“ Kate starts but Liv turns and faces her.

“No, Kate. Go shop with Koren. I’m fine. I’m just gonna go read upstairs.” She storms out of the kitchen and Chris sighs.

“I’ll go see what’s going on.” He shakes his head and follows her path to the stairs.

“Well, good to see not much has changed.” Justin looks around at everyone. “They’re still at each other’s throats after all these years?”

“I’m pretty sure it just started a few months ago.” Joey states and I catch Kate’s eye.

“I swear, Koren. I walked in and she and Justin were going at it on the couch!” Kate was pacing back and forth in front of me while I sat on her bed.

“I believe you, I just…can’t believe it.” I shook my head. “I mean, it’s Liv and Justin. I thought he was still hung up on you!”

Kate made a face. “Ew, no. And if he was, he knows I’ve been with JC a long time now.”

The door to Kate’s room opened and Liv stood on the other side. “Kate, you have a fucking big mouth.”

“Well, I’m sorry, Livvy, but I had to tell someone! And it’s just Koren. It’s not like we’re going to tell anyone!” Kate walked over to Liv. “How did it happen?”

Liv raised an eyebrow and snorted. “You’re asking me how I had sex with someone? You’re the one who had sex with your boyfriend backstage between scenes of ‘Hamlet’.”

“You did what?” I gasp.

“Thanks, Liv.” Kate groans. “Yes, JC and I had sex between scenes in ‘Hamlet’ backstage last year. It’s not a big deal.”

“Which is why you neglected to say anything?” I couldn’t help but start laughing, then looked at Liv. “We won’t tell Chris if that’s what you’re worried about. I guess I just can’t believe you slept with Justin.”

“Yes, well, believe it or not, Kate’s not the only one he found desirable.” Liv narrowed her eyes at Kate and Kate looked taken aback.

“What are you talking about? Justin and I went on one date. That’s it!” Kate scoffed. “And anyway, why does it matter? I don’t want him and I would think that after all you and Chris have been through, you don’t want him either.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I don’t want him, either…”

It suddenly dawns on me that Kate knew about Chris sleeping with Dayna and about Liv and Justin, but she hadn’t said anything.

Justin

“Well, this is turning out to be a fucking awesome time.” I sip my coffee and look around the table at Joey, Koren, JC, and Kate. “Not what you had in mind, huh Katie?”

Kate glares at me. “Stop. You know I hate that.”

“It’s a nickname. Chill.” I roll my eyes at her and JC puts a protective arm around his wife.

“She’s told you before to not call her that.” His tone is sharp, but soft. I decide to back off.

“So, you girls going shopping?” I look at Koren and she eyes Kate.

“Maybe. You want to go?” Koren asks Kate.

“Yeah. I’ll go shower and change.” Kate stands up and JC squeezes her hand as she leaves the table. I watch his eyes follow her to the stairs and look back at him. I wonder if he knows I’ve been infatuated with his wife since I first laid eyes on her. I wonder if he knows I did whatever I could to break them up.

I wonder if he knows I watched them fuck.

It was past 3AM and I had just gotten home from another night out. JC’s bed was empty and I knew he was with Kate. My blood boiled. I still couldn’t believe she’d been the one girl I couldn’t get to bed. Kate was gorgeous. And the only reason I’d even roomed with JC was because I knew I’d be closer to her.

I crawled into bed and sighed. I should have been exhausted. I’d had a 7am class that day and hadn’t stopped going. Stupidly, I’d scheduled two dates on the same night. The girls happened to be friends and weren’t too happy with my suggestion that we just all go out together. What can I say? I’d never had a threesome and thought it might fun.

My brain finally began to shut off and I rolled over and closed my eyes. It was then that I heard the door to our dorm room open.

“Shh, I think Justin’s asleep.” It was JC.

“We can go back to my room.” That was Kate.

“No, it’s across campus and we’re already here.”

“I know, baby, but Justin-“

“He’s asleep. See?”

Silence. I could feel their eyes on me. I pretended to be in a deep sleep and began to breathe as if I were in a heavy coma.

“Ok…” Kate’s voice trailed off and I heard the sounds of what could only be kissing. She giggled and they fell onto his bed.

“God, you are so beautiful.” JC was whispering but his voice had a husky tone to it. It was quiet again and all that could be heard was the sound of wet kisses being exchanged.

“JC…” Kate was moaning and I opened one eye. He was on top of her, his legs on either side of her waist, straddling her. He bent down to kiss her again, then pulled a blanket over them. “Go down on me, baby.”

I couldn’t believe my luck. They were so caught up in each other that they had no idea I was watching them. JC was hidden beneath the blanket and all I could see was Kate’s face and the rising and falling of her body beneath the sheets.

“Uhm!” Kate groaned and I could see her moving her body in circular motions under the covers. I could hear the sounds JC was making with his tongue and Kate’s eyes were closed as he continued.

“Shit, baby! Shiiiit!” Kate was doing all she could not to scream but I knew she could hardly hold back. JC crawled back to her and I could see them shift somewhat so that he could fuck her.

“Shh, Kate. We gotta be quiet.” JC was moving on top of her at a fast pace. Kate clung to his neck and the bed was creaking so much that I knew they were forgetting that I was just in the next bed.

Kate was so hot. So fuckable. And watching them together made me want to take care of my own business but I knew I’d be caught if I started that. So I watched. I watched Kate’s contortions on her face go from pleasure to pain. I watched JC looking at her with pure lust in his eyes, smiling at her as they went even harder. I watched Kate grin at him and then throw her head back onto the pillow. I watched JC cover her mouth with his hand so that she wouldn’t scream when she came. I watched him collapse on top of her, breathing as though he’d just run across campus and back.

“I love you,” he whispered. “I love you so much, Kate.”

“I love you, too.” She was gasping for breath. Just as she turned her head, I shut my eyes tightly so she didn’t see me staring at her.

“I can’t believe Justin slept through all that.” JC chuckled softly and he rolled off of her, spooning her in his arms.

“Me either,” Kate said softly. They both let out a sigh almost in unison. In a minute, it was quiet. I opened my eyes and saw they were falling asleep. I was hard as a rock, but I knew I’d have to wait a few more minutes before I took care of it.

I couldn’t help but grin. I’d just watched Kate fuck her boyfriend and it would just make my fantasies of her even more real in my head.

It was sick and twisted. But maybe I was, too.

Kate

Koren and I leave an hour and a half later. We’re both quiet in the car on the way to the small shopping district in Siesta Key. I know we’ve both got a lot on our minds. Why was Liv being such a bitch? I hate to call her that because she’s my best friend, but that’s exactly how she’s been acting for most of this vacation.

Is that what we call it? Vacation?

I don’t even know anymore.

“Does it feel weird?” Koren asks me as we’re sitting at a light. She’s in the passenger seat and I’m driving. The rain is pelting the car so hard that it’s hard to hear her.

“Yes.” I don’t even hesitate. “I don’t even know why I thought this was a good idea anymore.”

“It would’ve been better if it was just me and Joey and you and JC.” Koren is stating a fact and I nod in agreement.

“JC thinks I’m hiding something.” I suddenly blurt out and look over at my friend.

“You’ve got a lot of secrets, Kate. I mean, you and me are really the only ones who know about Liv and Justin sleeping together.” Koren catches my eye. “And you have to know about –“

“Dayna.” I finish for her. “Yeah, I remember that night. I never told anyone. How did you know?”

“Joey was at the bar, too.” Koren reminds me.

I pull forward as the light changes and drive toward the direction of the tiny little shopping district. It’s really nothing but boutiques and the closest mall is in Sarasota. It could be an option if we decide not to go back to the house so soon.

“Koren, I…” I hesitate and can’t decide whether or not I should tell her the biggest secret I’ve kept for the last fifteen years or not. “Did, um, did you know about Lance?”

Koren shakes her head. “Other than we all assumed he was crazy about you and jealous of JC.”

I laugh softly and look ahead at the downpour in front of me. “No. He wasn’t crazy about me at all. We were best friends. That’s it. He was crazy about someone else.” I can’t believe I’m finally telling someone. JC doesn’t even know. But for some reason, I know I can tell Koren. “He was crazy about Justin.”

Koren gasps and puts her hand over mouth. “What? Are you serious?”

I nod. “He told me about a month before he died. It was why nobody I ever set him up with worked out or why he wasn’t really asking girls out. He wanted Justin.”

“Did Justin ever find out?” Koren asks.

“I think he told him. I’m not sure.” I’m trying to find a decent parking spot by one of the beach boutiques as I respond. “Justin was always a jerk to him. But when was Justin not a jerk?”

“I’m surprised to hear you call him that. Out of all of us, he seemed to get along with you the best.” Koren was right but it was only because Justin had had a crush on me from the first day we met. It wasn’t as though I was stupid. I knew he liked me. But I was with JC and I was still with JC and that wasn’t ever going to change.

“He liked me. He was only nice to me because he thought it would steer me away from JC.” I park in an almost full parking lot. The rain is coming down harder if that’s even possible. We sit in the car and don’t move.

“Please. You were smitten with JC from day one. I still can’t believe you guys did it and scared that poor Melody girl off.” Koren can’t help but snicker.

“I didn’t scare her off! I guess she couldn’t handle her roommate having a healthy sex life.” I’m smirking and Koren shakes her head at me.

“Kate, you and JC were like bunnies. My god, the fact that you got it on between scenes in Hamlet is beyond me. And on the first date nonetheless.” Koren chuckles. “Although I guess I’m one to talk. I had sex with Joey five hours after we first met.”

“Yeah, at least I waited two days.” I counter and we’re both laughing at each other now.

“This was a great first date.” JC told me as we were standing in front of my dorm room. I smiled at him and touched the door handle of my room.

“Yeah. I had a lot of fun.” I looked down at my feet and then back at him. “You wanna come in?”

He grinned, then shrugged. “Sure.”

I opened the door and the room was dark. My roommate, Melody, was asleep in the bottom bunk.

“Um, so…” I whispered. “This is my room.”

JC chuckled behind me and I felt his arm wrap around my waist. He pulled me against him and I turned around. “Hey.”

“Hey.” I bit my lower lip and giggled under my breath.

His lips were on mine and I was doing my best not to make a lot of noise. Melody was a heavy sleeper but our dorm room was the size of a storage closet.

My head was spinning. I’d never been kissed like that before. Normally a guy would choke me with his tongue but JC knew how to maneuver our tongues together like a dance.

“Kate,” JC whispered, still kissing me.

“Hm?” I was pinned against the wall and JC’s fingers were already grazing the skin underneath my shirt and I knew what he wanted.

“Can we get on your bed?” He kissed my cheek, one hand cupping my chin so he could look at me in the dark.

“Yeah.” I gently pushed him away and led him over to the bunk bed. I climbed up first and laid down. There was hardly any room as it was and I already knew what we were going to do.

He followed and crawled on top of me, the bed shaking somewhat and both of us laughing under our breaths.

It was dark but not so dark that we couldn’t see what we were doing. I could hear him fumbling with his belt and I was lifting my shirt over my head, throwing it toward the ground and praying it didn’t land on top of Melody’s head.  

If I thought my head had been spinning when we were standing up, it was for sure making me dizzy laying down with him. Yes, I’d done this before with other guys. Yes, it had been exciting and fun. But JC was different. I’d known that from the moment I laid eyes on him.

Soon we were dry humping hard against one another. I was gasping and not caring at all that Melody was right below us and the top bunk shaking like it was only meant that the bottom was getting equal attention.

“JC…” I bit his earlobe and he moaned in my ear. “I want you. You’re getting me so wet. Let’s just do it.”

“God, I want you, too, Kate.” He flicked his tongue against my neck. “You sure you want to up here?”

“Yeah.” I groaned. “I don’t care. Just fuck me, okay?”

“Well, you’re sure persistent, honey.” I could see him grinning at me in the dark. “Okay.”

We started kissing again and our hands were moving all over one another in attempt to get undressed. JC’s jeans were down around his ankles and he reached down to pull something out of his pocket.

“Shit.” he mumbled.

“What?” I wrapped my arms around his neck and reached up to kiss him again.

“I don’t have a condom.” His eyes looked right into mine.

“I’m on the pill.” I was trying to reassure him. Truth be told, I’d never had sex without a condom before, but I was so hot and turned on by him that I didn’t care.

JC didn’t say anything and I was starting to wonder if we had just climbed up on the bunk for nothing, but then I felt him starting to rub me between my legs.

“Alright. As long as you’re ok with that.” His voice was hot against my ear and I knew I was done.

Our first time wasn’t awkward, except for the fact that we were on top of a college bunk bed and my roommate was right below us. It wasn’t magical, either. In fact, he came about twenty seconds after being inside of me, which we laughed about later. But for some reason, it was still different than any other guy I’d been with. Probably because we were supposed to be together and it just felt right.

The next morning, we woke up in an awkward spooning position. We got dressed and went down to breakfast together. When I got back to my dorm room, there was a notice on my door stating that Melody had moved out and requested another dorm on campus.

It wasn’t a surprise that for the rest of that year, JC and I wound up fucking in that dorm room a lot, now that I didn’t have a roommate.

The rain has subsided by now and we finally get out of the car and make our way into one of the boutiques. We’re not really shopping, just looking around. I can tell both of our minds are a million miles away.

“I miss college sometimes.” Koren says out of nowhere as we’re picking up different purses.

“Me, too.” I admit. “I miss that we were all really close at one time.” I pause and don’t say anything else. Because for the first time, I’m starting to wonder if any of that was really true or if it was just the fact that we were friends out of convenience.

CH 8  As told by JC, Liv, Kate, & Justin

When Kate and Koren get home, I’m upstairs and see the car pull into the driveway. I’ve been thinking a lot about the last day and a half. So far, nothing has gone as planned, or at least how I’m assuming things should have gone planned. Whatever that means.

I’m also curious. I’m curious about how much my wife knows about Lance’s death. About what really happened. I’m curious if she is keeping something from me. If she’s kept it from me our entire married life.

“Hi, babe.” She walks into our bedroom and sets her purse on the dresser. I turn and smile faintly at her.

“Hi.” I take a seat on the edge of the bed and watch as Kate runs her fingers through her hair, yawns, then plops down next to me. “I’m so tired. And all we did was window shop.” She lies down and looks up at the ceiling. “What did you guys do after we left?”

“Kate.” I say her name in a tone I know will make her attentive.

“What’s wrong?” She sits up next to me and pulls her knee up to her chin, reaching out and touching my arm with her hand.

“What is it? What do you know that you’re not sharing with me? With the rest of us?” I ask her before I realize the words have left my mouth.

“What are you talking about, Josh?” Kate looks at me quizzically, but I can sense a guilt and – what is that, fear?- in her eyes.

“I think you know what I’m talking about, honey.” I am staring into her eyes and she is doing her best to not look away, but I know it’s getting hard for her. “This whole weekend. This whole…stupid weekend was something you wanted to do. And ever since we all got here, all we’ve done is fight with everyone. Things come out, Kate. People talk. And I want to know the truth. I want to know if my wife is hiding something from me or if Chris and Justin are just full of shit.”

“What did they tell you?” Kate’s voice is shaky and I can tell she is doing all she can to not reveal more than she wants.

“You’re hiding something. That’s all I seem to hear. What are you hiding?” I’m not relenting and she knows it. “What? Did you sleep with Lance or something when we were dating?”

“Josh!” Kate scoffs and I can’t tell if she’s stifling a laugh or about to burst into tears. “I’m not hiding anything from you!”

“You’re lying to me, Kate.” My tone is firm and I’m doing all I can not to raise my voice.

“I’m not lying. I-“ She isn’t even looking at me anymore. She’s staring at the floor and shaking her head.

“What is it? Why can’t you just tell me?” I reach for her and she sucks in a breath. I start to feel like she might relent, like she might actually tell me what the hell has been going on for all these years.

“I swore to Lance I’d never tell anyone,” is Kate’s response. And for some reason, it makes me angry.

“I’m your husband!” I’ve forgotten about raising my voice and am yelling at her now. “And you’ve brought all of us here to this fucking beach house and you want us to all get along but you’re okay with the fact that you’re hiding something from me? From your own husband? From the man who knows you better than anyone el-“ I stop and shake my head. “Oh, I get it. Lance supposedly knew you better, didn’t he?”

“You know that’s not true, Josh.” Kate is whispering and I can see her wiping away tears. “You know me better than anyone on the planet. But I can’t break my word.”

“He’s dead, Kate. He killed himself. He’s not coming back and he’s been gone now for fifteen fucking years. So whatever you’re waiting on, it’s not going to happen.” I walk hastily to the door, then turn and look at my wife. “You know, I think you live in a fantasyland sometimes. You want this to be perfect and wrapped up all nicely in this stupid house and the truth is that none of us even like each other anymore.” With that, I walk out the door and shut it firmly behind me. I try to ignore the fact that I’ve never seen my wife looking so hurt as she did before I left the bedroom.

LIV

Koren is sitting across from me at the kitchen table. She’s sipping on a coffee and reading a Danielle Steele novel while I aimlessly twirl a piece of hair around my finger. I hear someone stomping down the stairs and turn to see JC. He doesn’t look happy and barely acknowledges us when he passes us in the kitchen.

“Chris still here?” He asks me but I shrug. The last I heard, Chris was going off with Joey somewhere. Justin had disappeared up to his bedroom and I’d been trying to think of a way to sneak up there with him, but so far no excuse seemed believable enough.

“Where’s Kate?” Koren asks and looks up from her book.

“Bedroom.” JC is rummaging through the refrigerator and sighs in frustration. “I’m gonna go to the grocery store. We need burgers to grill out tonight.”

“How are we grilling out if it’s raining?” I ask him and nod towards the window where rain is still pelting hard against the panes.

“Then we’ll cook ‘em inside. Whatever. I need to get some air.” JC shuts the refrigerator door and before he says anything else, is out the door.

“I’m gonna go upstairs,” I say to Koren who just nods and continues to read her book.

I waste no time and head straight for Justin’s bedroom. I knock softly and he opens it, grinning when he sees me.

“I was wondering when you’d get up here.” He opens the door wider and I walk in and sit down on his bed.

“I had to have a good excuse. You know that.” I bite my lower lip and chuckle at him. “It’s been a long time.”

“Too long.” Justin pounces on top of me and soon I’m lost in the feeling of him deep inside of me.

“So, Kate…” Justin says under his breath when we’re finished.

“God, that bitch gets on my last nerve!” I groan and roll away from him. I start to get dressed again. “Why the hell is she so insistent that we all come here anyway?”

“Because she wants it to be like she thought it was.” Justin props himself up on his elbow. “But I think you and I should figure out a way to keep this from happening again.”

“What do you mean?” I slip my tank top over my head and face him. “Just tell her we don’t want to do this anymore?”

“I was thinking of something a little more…permanent.” Justin’s voice has this weird timbre to it. It sounds a lot like how he sounded the night that –

“No, Justin.” I shake my head. “No, I can’t do that. Not again.”

Justin rolls out of bed and walks over to me. “Oh, Livvy. You know how easy it is. I make it easy. You enjoyed it so much last time.” He has me against the wall now and he’s cupping my face with his palm. “Trust me, okay? This time you get to leave with me.”

KATE

The rain hasn’t let up and I’ve been upstairs all afternoon and now into the early evening. I’ve been crying off and on wondering what I should do about the conversation I had with JC. He knows something. I have to tell him. But I just…can’t. I don’t want to break the promise I made to Lance.

It was about 2AM when dress rehearsal had finally finished. Lance and I were starring in “A Streetcar Named Desire” and our director was a perfectionist who kept changing the blocking to our scenes. I’d never been so tired and I’d had to cancel my date with JC.

“Let’s go to Denny’s.” Lance suggested when we walked outside together.

“Are you actually hungry?” I asked him and followed him to his car.

“Nah. But I don’t want to go back to the dorms. I’m pretty sure Liv is spending the night with Chris.” He unlocked his car and opened his door.

“Oh. Okay. Yeah, let’s go to Denny’s then.” I got into the passenger seat of Lance’s VW Bug and we drove the few blocks up the road to the restaurant.

We sat in a booth in the back and ordered pancakes and coffee. It was sort of our tradition after rehearsals, though normally after one that lasted as long as this one had, we would have gone back home.

“Kate, can I tell you something?” Lance asked after our pancakes had arrived.

“You know you can.” I replied and sipped my coffee.

“There’s a reason it’s not working out with any of these girls you’re setting me up with.” Lance looked at me and without even hesitating said, “I’m gay, Kate.”

So many things started to click and make sense. All of the reasons why he never had a girlfriend for longer than a week or a date that didn’t go beyond the first night out. I just looked at my best friend and smiled and said, “So I guess that’s why it never worked out with all those dates I set you up with?”

Lance just chuckled at me. “Probably.” He lifted his coffee mug and took a sip, then sighed. “There’s more.” Not waiting for me to reply, he said, “I think I’ve got it bad for Justin.”

“Justin Timberlake?” I put my hand over my mouth. “Oh, c’mon Bass you can do better than that!”

Lance shook his head. “Maybe I can. But, I dunno. I know he’d never reciprocate but I can’t help it.”

I made a face. “He’s so self-involved, Lance.”

“I know, Kate. I can’t help it. He’s…he’s becoming all I think about sometimes.” Lance looked down at his plate and then back at me. “Swear you’ll never tell anyone. Promise me. Not even Josh.”

I nodded my head and reached over to squeeze his hand. “I swear, Lance. I’ll never tell your secret.”

So I can’t tell JC. I swore to him and even if Lance isn’t here anymore, I don’t want to break a promise to my best friend.

The door to our bedroom opens and JC walks in but doesn’t look at me.

“Josh.” I stand up from the bed and walk over to him. “Josh, please believe me. I-“

He turns around to face me and sighs. “I don’t want to do this weekend anymore. It’s not fun. It only brings up bad memories and not good ones. And it stirs up emotions inside of me that make me angry at you.”

I don’t know what to say. All I can do is wrap my arms around his waist. “I love you, Josh. It’s not that I’m keeping anything from you, I just…”

“I’m your husband. Since when did you and I start keeping secrets from one another?” He lifts my chin up so I’m looking at him.

I can only shake my head and bury my face in his chest. I start to feel like I’m making a mountain out of the smallest mole-hill. Lance is dead. JC and I are going to be together forever. Why does this matter to me so much?

“Just tell me something.” JC says and I let out a shaky sigh, waiting for him to continue. “Did you sleep with Lance? I mean, even before you and I started to date?”

“No, Josh. I promise you. I never slept with anyone in college before I met you.” That part was very true. I’d fooled around with a few guys my freshmen year but once I met JC, it was over and done. “And especially not Lance.”

JC kisses me softly on my lips and I kiss him back. His hands wander up the back of my shirt and I shift when I feel his fingers tangling with my bra. Soon we’re on the bed and our clothes are in a puddle on the floor. We’re quiet and trying our best not to make any noise because of everyone who might be downstairs or next to us.

We whisper to each other and moan softly almost in unison and I suck in a breath when he goes deeper. It feels so good. So right. And I’m suddenly wishing it was just the two of us in this house together.

JUSTIN

Liv is easy to control. She always has been. Fucking her earlier today is proof that I’ve got her exactly where she needs to be.

JOEY

Things are weird. I can’t put my finger on it. But something’s off. We’re at dinner now and nobody’s said a word. Liv is in a better mood and trying to make conversation with Koren and Kate. They’re not as responsive. Justin is digging into his hamburger and not saying anything to anyone. Chris, JC, and I are making small talk.

All in all, this dinner sucks.

“We should play Truth or Dare!” Liv says suddenly out of nowhere. I catch her looking at Justin, who winks at her and I wonder if anyone else has seen it.

“Are we fifteen?” Chris scoffs at his wife and Liv glares at him.

“You are,” Liv says this under her breath but we all hear it.

There’s an awkward silence. Nobody says a word. The only sound is the occasional drip of the faucet in the kitchen and the waves crashing on the shore outside.

“Um. Yeah. Let’s play it.” Koren suddenly speaks up and I look at my wife as if she’s crazy. “Why not? The adult version.”

“What’s the difference?” Kate asks and eyes Koren suspiciously.

Koren shrugs. “Beats me. It’ll at least give us something to do.”

We clean up after dinner and head into the living room. JC and Kate sit together on the couch next to me and Koren. Liv sits on the floor across from Justin, who’s leaning against the fireplace. Chris is in the recliner.

“I can’t believe we’re playing a game you play in high school,” JC mutters and looks over at me. I shrug. The whole vacation is off and this just makes it even more off.

“Ok, truth or dare?” Justin speaks up and the way he says it makes us all turn and look at him. He turns to Kate. ”Kate?”

“Truth.” Kate shrugs.

“Has anyone ever watched you and JC fuck?”

Kate gasps and looks at him as if he’s crazy. “Justin….”

“That’s inappropriate.” JC cuts her off.

“Hey, it’s the adult version.” Justin reminds him. “She has to answer.” He clears his throat. “So, tell us? You and JC into voyeurism?”

“No. Nobody’s ever watched us…do that.” Kate’s uncomfortable and looks away from Justin.

“Huh. Interesting.” Justin is smirking and then laughs under his breath. “You sure about that?”

“Yes, I think I’d know!” Kate snaps at him.

“Or maybe JC knows something you don’t?” Justin raises an eyebrow.

JC looks at Justin and rolls his eyes. “Uh, sorry buddy. No idea what you’re talking about.”

“C’mon C. That night you and Katie snuck into our dorm room?” Justin is standing up now and saunters over to Kate. There’s a gleam in his eye. “Gosh, I remember it like it was yesterday.” He stands in front of Kate and reaches down to caress her cheek. She flinches and moves away. “You were so hot, Kate. Watching you and JC fuck like that.”

“Justin…” JC doesn’t know what else to say. He looks at Kate and she makes a disgusted face. “What the hell is going on?”

“I mean, I think we should just get all our secrets out in the open.” He looks over at Chris. “Like did you ever tell Liv about Dayna?”

“Who’s Dayna?” Liv’s question is more of an accusation.

“Shut up, Justin.” Chris is seething.

“No, we’re all here. We should be honest with each other. I just let you all know that I got to see Kate and JC in bed. It’s only fair we talk about Chris’ little secret, too. I know I’m not the only one who has them.” Justin has moved away from JC and Kate and over to Chris. “Tell Liv about Dayna.”

“It wasn’t anything,” Chris says and Liv gasps and puts her hand over her mouth.

“What do you mean it wasn’t anything?!” She stands to her feet, her hands on her hips and glares at her husband.

“Oh my god, Liv, it happened a fucking long time ago!” Chris is raising his voice. I look at Koren and squeeze her hand. I already know neither of us have any secrets. And even if we did, there was no way Justin would know.

“Who was Dayna?” Liv asks and she’s shaking.

“She was a one night stand back in college.” Chris groans and puts his head in his hands. “And it meant nothing.”

I see Koren and Kate glance at one another and Koren shakes her head at Kate.

It’s going to be a long night.

KOREN

If we’re all spilling secrets it’s not fair that Liv is keeping the biggest one of all – her sleeping with Justin. So far, Kate and I are supposedly the only ones that knew. But I didn’t think it was fair the way that Justin was ragging on Chris in front of Liv and Liv was acting as if she had been innocent in all of it.

Kate and I look at one another but I can’t let her spill anything. It’s not our business. And anyway, how the hell did we get pulled into this weird game of Truth or Dare anyway?

“Uh, shouldn’t we just get back to the game?” I hear myself asking and Justin turns his attention to me.

“Oh, I forgot. We were playing a game, weren’t we?” Justin sits on the edge of the coffee table, props his elbows on his knees and rests his chin in his hands. He looks at Kate. “Well, I guess I kind of answered your question, didn’t I?”

“I’m not done with Chris!” Liv interjects. “I want to know about this Dayna bitch. And I want to know why you never mentioned her to me, especially when we’ve been through hell this year and you made it out to be my fault.”

“I’m not playing anymore.” Chris stands to his feet and starts to head for the stairs. Justin jumps ahead of him.

“Oh, no, you’re not leaving. We’re all gonna play. I mean, Kate planned this fucking lovely weekend and we’re going to make the most of it. Right, Katie?” Justin turns and winks at her.

“No, I didn’t think it would be like this.” Kate’s voice is barely audible. “Justin, stop being an asshole. You’re just trying to stir up shit and it’s stupid. Fine, I’m sorry I thought this would be an enjoyable weekend. We won’t do it again. Are you happy?”

“No.” Liv responds and Kate looks at her in surprise. “I just want to know why you thought it was a good idea in the first place?”

“I-I don’t know. To keep Lance’s memory alive, I guess? I mean, I thought…I guess I thought we were closer than we are.” Kate shakes her head. “I’m sorry, guys. I didn’t know it would be this way.”

LIV

Justin and I stepped out of his dorm room. We’d been keeping this little tryst a secret for longer than I thought we’d be able to. As we walked into the hall, we’re still all over each other. That’s when we looked up and saw Lance walking toward us. Justin moved his hand off my butt and nods at Lance.

“Hey, um, Justin. About what I said last night –“ Lance started and Justin cut him off.

“Dude, I don’t want to hear it okay? It’s done. You said what you needed to say.” Justin looked disgusted with him.

“But I still want us to be friends, man.” Lance stepped closer to us. He eyed me for a minute. “I thought Chris was gone for the weekend?”

“You should know. He’s your roommate.” I was trying to be coy and not act like Justin and I had just finished fooling around in his room. But we looked like we’d just rolled out of bed and Lance knew it.

“Uh, Liv…look, um-“ Lance stammered on his words.

“Just leave us alone, okay Bass? I mean it. I don’t want to be your friend. I don’t even want to be around you.” Justin moved away from Lance and pulled me with him.

“What was that about?” I asked.

“Nothing.” Justin didn’t say anything else.

“His memory alive, huh?” I glare at Kate. I hate her. I’ve always hated her. “Tell me, Kate, did you know about Dayna?”

Kate lets out a breath and purses her lips together. “You know we all had secrets in college. But it was college and –“

“And? So? What do you mean we all had secrets?” JC cuts her off and Kate looks at her husband in shock. “What else are you hiding?”

“She’s not hiding anything.” Justin walks over to me and stands over me. “Tell them, Olivia.”

I look up at him in shock. Was he serious? “Justin!” I say through gritted teeth.

The room is silent. I can feel everyone staring at me.

“C’mon, Liv. Nobody wants to have secrets. Right?” Justin whispers.

“What secrets?” Chris asks, his voice is barely above a whisper. I don’t respond. “I asked what secrets?” His tone is stern and it makes me look up at him. I shake my head.

“Liv, just say something.” It’s Kate. It’s fucking Kate who is opening her mouth again.

“Shut up, Kate!” My voice cracks because I’m screaming at her now. “This is all your fault.” I look up at Justin. “Shut her up, please.”

Justin turns and looks right at Kate. “Not a problem, Livvy.” He walks over to her. “Not a problem at all.”