March 23, 2013

8:00 am

Kahala and Islander Apartments

10121 Buford Ave, Inglewood, CA 90304

I can still remember the first time I knew what I was meant to do.  Five years old, sitting on the floor in the living room, singing along with the television while I swayed from side to side.  Somehow, my young mind could comprehend that I was singing in time and in tune with the music...that I was always able to.

And since that time, I haven’t been able to stop singing.  But I’ve also realized that dreams like those don’t come easy, especially when you have bills, a need for food, and rent looming over your head all the time.

In my case, I’ve had to worry about those things since I was old enough to understand what happens when you don’t earn a paycheck.  I’m twenty six now, been working odd jobs since I was thirteen, making just enough money to put food on the table, and keep the lights on wherever we were living.  I’ve also been taking care of my mother...

Because she definitely can’t take care of herself.

“Sterling.”r32;r32;The voice, naturally, is weak, and soft.  She’s hungover, but that’s nothing new.  Sighing, I drop the laundry basket and call back to her.  “Yeah, mom?”

“Can you get me some water, baby?”

I blow out a long breath.  “Yeah.”  I plod over to the sink and fill a glass before going into the bedroom.  “Mom, you were out really late last night,” I say, as I hand it to her.  “I thought you were going to try and cut back on bar time.”

She shrugs, but doesn’t look at me as she takes a sip.  “Roger wanted to go out.”

“And who paid for the entertainment?”

“I had extra.”

I shake my head roughly.  “Is that why forty bucks is missing from my wallet?”

“I’ll pay you back, honey.  Next disability check.”

It’s the same shit, every week.  “Yeah, I’m sure.”  I walk around the room, gathering a weeks worth of dirty laundry off of her floor.  “Do you think you can throw your stuff in the machine? I’m going to be late.”

No answer.

“Mom?”

No answer.

I whirl around, and sigh.  She’s passed out again.  “See you tonight.” I say it sadly, and place a soft kiss on her forehead, before heading off to face the world at Bagel King .  I grab my purse before running out the door, nearly missing my bus.  It takes the full twenty minute ride for me to catch my breath and push the anger and resentment towards my mother out of my system.

“Hey girl.”  Cassie smiles at me slightly as I bang through the door.  “How is she today?”

“Well I’m forty bucks poorer.” I flash my co worker a smile as I punch the clock.  “And I don’t know how we’re going to pay the rent, because of last weeks escapade.  Other than that, she’s mother of the year.”

“You so need a break.”  She comes around the counter and helps me tie my apron in the back.  “Why don’t you come out to Backstage tonight?”

“You know I can’t.”r32;
“Drinks are on uh-us,” she sings and giggles in my ear.  “Besides, it’s karaoke night.  You need to save us from the singers from hell.  Lonnie’s been asking when you were going to come back in.  He says if he has to hear me and Sharice sing the Macarena one more time, he’ll quit.”

“I’ll think about it,” I laugh.

“Just come on...”r32;r32;“Excuse me, ladies?”

A gentleman’s voice hits my ears, and when I turn around, I come face to face with a tall, muscular, black man.  The expression on his face is telling me he’s been waiting too long for his bagel, and with a little sigh I make my way over to the register.

“Sorry...can I help you sir?”

“Yeah, two plain, low fat cream cheese toasted, and two coffees.  Make it to go.”

I just nod, and punch his order in, making sure not to charge him for the coffees since I let him stand there for so long.  “Six eighteen. No charge for the coffees.”

For the first time, he smirks a little.  “No charge, huh?  I didn’t wait that long.”

I shrug, and smile at him as he hands me some cash.  “I still feel bad.”

“Well, I appreciate the good service.  Say, were you two saying something about karaoke tonight?  I’m not from around here, and I’ve been trying to find a place to see some local talent.  My band had a little mishap. We need a backup singer, and I’m trying to find one more person to audition.”

“I was!” Cassie says excitedly and rushes over with the man’s order.  “They have it at this little bar me and the girls go to sometimes, Backstage Bar and Grill in Culver City.  As far as talent goes...it’s kind of lacking.  Sterling is an amazing singer...but we can never get her out of the house.”

I nudge her gently in the ribs and send her a warning glance.  “She’s exaggerating,” I laugh, for the first time taking a closer look at him.  He really doesn’t seem to be from around here, with his fancy shirt and designer jeans.  He looks well off, and I wish I was bolder like Cassie.  I’d love to know what he does for a living.  Maybe he could give me some insight to how the hell I can get out of this stupid town, and away from my drunk of a mother.

“Well, I’d love to hear you sing,” he laughs.  “You should come out tonight.  I’ll buy you and your friends a round of drinks...you know, to make up for the free coffee.”

“I um...”r32;r32;“Say yes,” he laughs.  “That’s all you gotta say girl.”

And something is telling me to do it, so I go with my gut.  “All right.  I’ll be there.”

“See, that wasn’t so hard was it?”

“Yay!” Cassie squeals a little and grips my shoulders tight.  “Finally!”

“Here’s my card.” He says, as he laughs at Cassie’s antics.  “Call me if something comes up.  We can reschedule.”

I look down at it, as he walks away from me.

“What’s it say?” Cassie leans over my shoulder to peer at the card.  “What’s his name?”

“Daryl Ambers.  Musical director and Producer.”  I shake my head slightly.

“Musical director for what?” She scoffs.

But I’m just as stumped as she is.  “I have no idea.”r32;
“Let’s google.”  She whips her IPhone out of her back pocket and quickly types in the name, a curious gleam in her blue-grey eyes.  “Oh wow, Sterling.”

“What?”

“Seriously...this guy has worked with everybody.”  She holds the phone in my face, and after a few minutes of scanning his extensive resume, I find that she’s correct.

She holds a hand over her heart.  “Fuck, Sterling.  What if he’s like...scouting you...”

“C’mon.” I laugh and shake my head.  “The guy is from out of town.  He’s probably just trying to find a last minute vocalist for a gig.  You heard him too, he already has people coming to the audition.”

“You’re going.  I swear.  Nobody can sing Whitney Houston like you can.”

“What about Whitney Houston?”

“She passed away, duh.”

“Oh God, Cass…really?”

“Well I’m just saying…”

“Hey can I have some service girls?”

I groan.

“You’re going.”  Cassie tells me, pointing a finger at me as she heads over to the register.  
r32;I stare down at the card.

Really?

It’s just too simple.

Too good to be true.

But, what the hell do I have to lose?
**************
March 23, 2013

8:30pm

Backstage Bar and Grill

10400 Culver Blvd, Culver City, CA 90232

“Girl I love it!” Sharice grins and pulls me into a tight hug.  “Where did you get that dress?”

“Out of my moms closet.  I’m lucky. She still dresses like she’s my age.” I roll my eyes and let her pull me into the dingy bar.  

Mom was passed out on the couch again, and Roger was sitting in the recliner, nursing a beer out of the six pack on the floor, and belching while he flipped through the channels.

“Can you make sure she wakes up and gets into bed,” I asked him, disgusted.

He glanced at me.  “She’s your momma, ain’t she?”

I couldn’t say anything to him.  I just walked out.  

I hate him.  I don’t hate my mother.  I hate what she does to herself, what she’s done to my future, but I can’t hate her like I hate him.

“Oh my gosh,” Cassie squeals the moment I sit down.  “He came, Ster! He’s getting us a round of drinks right now! What are you gonna sing?”

“I think she should sing Whitney,” Sharice sighs.  “I love when you sing her stuff.”

I roll my eyes.  “I’m not singing that for this guy.  He’ll laugh me out of the bar.”
r32;“Whatever.  You could win a grammy with that voice,” Cass nods and smiles.  “It’s about time you got someone to notice you.”

“He hasn’t even heard me yet…”

“Here you go ladies.”  Daryl smiles as he returns to the table with the drinks in his hands.  He passes them out to my friends before taking a seat and eyeing me.  “Glad you decided to show,” he smiles.  “What are you gonna sing?”

I sit back and study him.  “Why are you so interested, anyway?”

He shrugs.  “Just trying to find some new talent, that’s all.”

There’s more to this.  He’s not looking for someone to include in his mediocre band.  He does more, he knows more people, and he’s gearing up for something.  My question is, why the hell would he be interested in watching me sing, when there’s a million other people out there with more experience?  

The KJ announces that it’s time to start karaoke for the night, and for singers to put their songs in whenever they’re ready.  I’m so unsure of Daryl that I just sit there, but then he smiles and leans forward.

“Let me just say, if you’re as good as your friends claim you are, it’s going to be in your best interest to get up there and sing something for me.  Preferably R&B, and please, no Whitney Houston.  Not tonight.”

I nod very slowly.

“Sterling,” Cassie whines.  “Go sing!” She guzzles her drink.

Oh God.  I feel like I’m auditioning for the X Factor or something.  I did that last year.  We slept outside the Los Angeles forum for three days, got drenched in the rain, and they picked the guy who couldn’t sing to go through to the next round instead of me.  It’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever done, and I convinced myself the entire music industry was that way.

“Go sing!” Sharice pipes up.  “Go on girl!”

With a harsh sigh, I push myself up from the table and walk up to the KJ, picking my song of choice, If I Were A Boy, by Beyonce, because it’s not too slow, not too fast, and shows off my range incredibly.  Every time I sing it, everyone tells me that I sound just a like a black girl.  I’ve been told it’s rare, for a white girl to have that kind of voice.  I don’t really think about it.  I just like to sing.

The KJ says I can go first, since I’m the only one that has put a song in.  I hate it when I come on a slow night.  Being the only singer is never fun, but tonight, it might just be what I need to impress this guy.

I’m handed the mic, the karaoke track counts me in, and then…I just let go.  I sing like I normally would for my friends, and they cheer me on and sway to the music.  At certain points I look at Daryl.  He’s staring at me, an intense gaze in his eyes.  I’m not sure if it’s good or bad, but I try not to think about it as I lose myself in one of my favorite songs.  It’s a blur, and then it’s over.  The four people inside the dingy place clap, and that includes my friends.  I take my seat again, and have a sip of water.

“I told you!” Cassie squeals.  “Sterling is just…amazing!”

“Whooo girl,” Sharice says, cackling as she throws an arm around me.  “Who needs Beyonce?”

Daryl is quiet.  I stare at him.  I don’t know what to say.

He hated it.  He must have.

“So I want you to come to an audition tomorrow,” he says quickly, not smiling, just drawing a pen out of the inner pocket of his jacket.  “It’s important that you’re exactly on time.  We start at ten and we’ll probably go til about three or four.  Can you make it?”

“I…”  I look at my friends.  They’re holding their breaths in anticipation.  I think they’re more excited about this than I am.  I’m more cautious than anything.  I don’t trust people very easily.  “What’s it for?”

He sighs.  “I’m afraid if I tell you, you won’t come.”

“Ooo what is it!” Sharice yells.  “Is it LL Cool J? Oh my God! Girl…I want some LL!  You better say yes!”

I smirk but I never laugh.  “If you don’t tell me what it’s for, I still won’t come.”

He leans back.  “Justin Timberlake needs another backup vocalist for his tour,” he nods.  “I’m his musical director for the tour, and I’ve already put together a mass audition for tomorrow, but…I figured, anyone that gives me a free coffee, deserves some recognition.  I’m glad I came.”

I just stare.
r32;“Justin Timberlake!” Cassie slaps her hand down on the table.  “Oh SHIT, Ster!”

“I have to say, I’m glad you aren’t having the same reaction as your friend,” he laughs.  “No offense,” he says to Cassie.  “What do you say, Sterling?  How about it?”

I shrug.  “Why would he want to bother with me?”

“I don’t think you realize what you just did up there, with that cruddy microphone in your hand, girl.”

“She never does,” Sharice sighs.  “Girl, you better go.  Damn, I love JT.”  

I think about my mom.  I need to watch over her tomorrow, or else she’ll drink herself into oblivion once again.  I’ve been trying to get her to clean up so she’ll be able to get off this depression kick and get better so she can get a job.  “I have to…make sure my mom is okay.  I can’t leave her alone.”

He shrugs.  “Bring her.”

Damn this guy is serious.  Was I really that good? Have my friends been right all along when they’ve said this is what I should be doing with my life.  “I…”

“Say yes.”

“Yes.”

“Good.”  He finally smiles, and scribbles something down on a napkin.  “This is the address, and my number.  Call me if you get lost, all right?  I want you to listen to these songs from Justin. The entire track of Until the End of Time, and the background vocals on Pusher Love Girl.  We’re going to try some things.”

“Uh…okay.”

He nods, gets up, leans over and gives me a kiss on the cheek.  “See you tomorrow.  Nice meeting you girls.”  He waves to my friends, finishes his beer, and then he leaves us.

My friends proceed to squeal their asses off, and yeah, I guess I get a little bit excited, but at the same time I can’t snap out of the daze I’m in.  I work at a bagel place, my mom is a drunken mess…

And I’m going to audition for Justin Timberlake’s world tour tomorrow.  

March 24, 2013

10:15 am

LA Rehearsal Studios

 5327 Santa Monica Blvd. • Los Angeles • CA 90029

“Who let in the crazy chick?” I whisper to my cousin, and good friend, Rachael Yarborough.  She used to be my assistant, but then she decided to get married and have a kid, so now she just comes out to shit like this for me.  I gave her best friend her old job instead, and it works out just fine.

“Who, that weirdo in the stilettos? She’s with one of the girls that came to audition.  Eric told me that Daryl okay’d it.”

“Naturally,” I groan.  “If she tries to touch me, I swear, I’m making Eric pull out the taser.”

She laughs.  “I don’t see why we have to have an audition.  We should have just picked from the list.  I can name the people you’re going to be interested in J.  You never pick someone you haven’t seen three or more times.”

I shrug.  “Daryl insisted.  I trust him, you know that.”

“Still, I feel it’s a waste of time.  After this, you should tell him no more auditions, okay?  You’re too busy for this stuff now.”

“I have about two years worth of touring ahead of me, Rach,” I chuckle.  “I can’t even think about the next time I’ll have to hold an audition for anything.”

“With any luck you’ll be able to keep everyone you picked this time around for your next endeavor.  That’s your problem.  You wait too long between albums and everyone finds different gigs.”

“My creative spark is very fragile.  I can’t rush it.”

“Oh give me a break.  You’re such a retard.”
r32;And this is why I hire my family to help run my career. Nobody I straight up hired would sit around and call me retarded.  It keeps me somewhat grounded, but I’ll be honest, over the past few years it’s been hard not to let all of this fame and crap get to me.

“Can we get started,” she grunts, and pulls out her notepad.  “I’d like to get back to my life at some point.”

“What the hell.  I guess so.  Let’s start!” I call out to Daryl.  He’s been in the back of the house, talking to the DJ the entire time I’ve been sitting here.  

“All right!” He calls out.  “Ladies, please take a place on the stage.  Make sure you have your number pinned in a legible spot on the front of your shirts so we can see you, and split yourselves up into groups of three.  Justin…do you want to start with Pusher Love?”

I nod a little, and get up.  “Let’s hope this doesn’t turn into a train wreck,” I smirk at Rachael before I make my way up onto the stage.  Most of the girls barely notice, a few stare, and that…that girl that came in with the weird chick can’t seem to stand still. She shifts her weight from one foot to the other.  It’s obvious she’s never been to a real audition before.

Oh, I’m going to have so much fun with Daryl later.

“So what we’re going to do is, have the DJ play the track, and Justin will sing lead.  Your group, when called, will attempt to sing the back up vocals during the chorus.  It’s going to help us determine who can step into a group setting without guidance. Whenever you’re ready J.”

I nod and step up to the mic.  “I need group one.”

They step up.  One of the girls I recognize from past auditions, the other two I don’t.  We run through the song, and when we hit the chorus, it’s a little rough, but the girl I’ve seen before holds the trio together.

She’s through to the next round.

I do this eight more times, being able to pick off each person who’s good enough for the next part of this, just by hearing their voice.  When the last group goes, I feel a tingling down in my gut.  One of these girls is so damn good.  I could jump for joy.  Really, she could be the one.  

When I turn back to them after the track ends, I’m dumbfounded when I see her standing there, still shifting around nervously.  Her eyes darting in every direction but mine.

It’s the girl who came with the psycho, or rather, number eleven.

I look at Daryl and he meets my gaze, not being able to suppress his grin.  He knows what I’m thinking.

Damn.

I don’t let on.  I don’t want her to know what I’m thinking.  I just send the group away from me without a second glance.

I make an executive decision to cut the group by more than half after that.  I know I’ve heard all the ones I like, and there’s no point keeping people around for a second chance.  I don’t have patience for that today, and neither does Rachael.  

“Nine? Are you sure?” Daryl asks me when I jump down from the stage to talk to him.  “You’ve barely heard them.”

I nod.  “I’m sure.  I know what I heard.  There’s only nine girls up there who deserve the cut.”

He lets out a long breath.  “Okay…fine.”  He picks up his list.  “Who’s first…eleven?”

I laugh at him.  “We’ll keep her for now.”

He smirks.  “So then I was right about her?”

“Don’t hold your breath.  I’m not admitting anything yet.  We have a ways to go.”
*****************
March 24, 2013

12:45 pm

LA Rehearsal Studios

 5327 Santa Monica Blvd. • Los Angeles • CA 90029

We’re getting cut to the final four now. Honestly, I can’t believe I made it this far.  After the group thing, which seemed easy enough, they moved us on to singing the songs we brought with us.  We each sang a song of our choice.  The complete track, in front of Justin and his people.

I guess I did okay.

Justin didn’t seem phased when any of us sang, though.  I have no idea what to expect.

“Number four, nine, seventeen, and....”

Daryl trails off and looks back over his shoulder.  I see Justin nod, and then he turns back.  I hold my breath.  I shouldn’t be expecting anything but damn, I know I’m better than most of the girls that haven’t been called.

“Eleven is last.  Thanks everybody.  You four,” he motions us to the edge of the stage.  “See you in fifteen.  Make sure you hand in your music to the DJ again.  You’ll all run through the same songs you just did, then we’ll cut two, and Justin is going to work with the final two at the piano.”

Holy shit.

“WOOAAAAA!”

Oh no.

“That’s my baby right there! WHOOOOOOOOO! YEAHH STERLING! SING YOUR HEART OUT!  SHOW THAT JT MAN WHO’S BOSS.”

Oh no. Please.  Not again.

Everybody is staring at her as she stands up on her chair, dancing around in her heels, her midriff shirt rising dangerously past the safety point.  I’m waiting for Justin to call out in a minute, tell his security to escort her and I out of here.  When my eyes land on him though, I find that he’s cracking up with his little clan, instead of losing his temper.

I guess that’s good, but at the same time, I’ve just become the laughing stock of the audition, and I’m really, really thankful to be getting a fifteen minute break.  As soon as Daryl says it’s okay, I race off the stage, down the stairs and out into the hallway.  I hear my mother clip clopping behind me moments later, yelling at me to wait for her, and I begrudgingly stop so she can catch up.

“How amazing is this!” She squeals, and throws her arms around me.

“Mom...mom you can’t do this here.”  I roughly pull myself away from her and cross my arms.  “It’s not professional,” I hiss.

“Oh please.” She waves me off.  “I’m your mom.  I’m supposed to be supportive aren’t I?”

“Not this supportive.”

Just then, the auditorium doors open, and Rachael walks out, with another girl at her side that I saw sitting with Justin.  They spot me automatically and whisper to each other, cackling loudly as they get further away.

“I’m the laughing stock of this audition,” I say angrily.  “Can’t you just...act normal...ever?”

“Oh stop being so damn uptight.”  She whacks me in the arm harshly.

“Ow!”

The door opens again, but this time, it’s only one person.  I’m ready to rip my mom apart, but then I realize who it is, and keep my mouth shut.  Of course it’s Justin, but he doesn’t acknowledge the fact that I exist as he walks past us.  But he wouldn’t.  I’m sure he’s already made up his mind...that I’m going to be the first one cut.

“He’s pretty handsome up close,” my mom says, a little too loudly.  “Make sure you get a good whiff of him when you’re up there singing.  I want to know what he smells like.”

I groan loudly, and walk away from her, back into the auditorium where I pray she doesn’t follow me.  Of course she does, though.  I know my mom, and she wouldn’t miss this for the world, even though she knows how much I hate having her around when she decides to be “supportive”

I’d leave her home too, but honestly, that’s how she gets into trouble.  I can’t let her do that to herself, partially because of finances, and also because well...nobody should get as drunk as she does.

“Just sit down.” I tell her, when she catches up to me.  “Sit here and watch but please don’t start yelling like that again...especially when Justin is on the stage, okay?”

“I don’t see what the big deal is...”r32;

“Mom.  I have one shot at this.”

“Okay, okay,” she sits herself down and crosses her legs, sticking the end of one of her neon pink nails in her mouth.  “You take the fun out of everything, Sterling.”r32;
“Yeah well, somebody has to be the adult.”

Fifteen minutes soon comes to an abrupt end.  Justin is back before the other people in his group, and he sits down in the very front row this time, pulling out his phone, starting to text away.  His clan follows shortly after, a few of them taking seats in the rows behind him, and two of them sitting down right next to him.  One has a large notepad and the other a video camera.

Nothing better to set my nerves on edge.

“I better go down,” I tell her.  “Will you be okay?”

“Sure,” she shrugs.  “I’ll sit here silently and behave myself.”

I huff.  “Great.”

I go down and sit in the front, but way off to the side where I can’t be noticed.  My opponents return from their break moments later, and scatter themselves around the auditorium as well.

“Looks like we’re all here,” Daryl calls out after a few more minutes.  “You ready, J?”

“Yeah, cool.”

He nods.  “All right, how about we have seventeen, eleven, four and then nine.”r32;
“No...hold up.”  Justin speaks up suddenly.  “I want to see eleven last.”

My blood runs cold.

“You got that Tony? So it’s seventeen, nine, four, and then eleven.” Daryl calls to the DJ in the back, and when I turn, I see him give us all a big thumbs up.

“You know what? Have them do it without music,” Justin calls out again.  “I want to hear a few things.”

Jesus Christ.

“Well...okay then, you guys heard the man.  Seventeen, come up.”

I watch as she walks to the stage, her face ghost white, obviously having been caught off guard by Justin’s request.  She goes off into a pitchy rendition of her original song, and I feel horrible for her, but at the same time, this is about Justin finding the best person for the job.

I know I can do this.  I have to do this.

Nine and four go next.  Four is stronger, and I can see Justin’s expression turn serious as he concentrates on her song.  He likes her.

She’s the one to beat.

“Eleven, come up.”

I rise to my feet, wincing slightly, ready to hear my mother hooting and hollering from the stands.  She never does though, and I’m so thankful.

“Do you know anything else?” Justin calls to me, once I’m onstage, microphone in hand, ready to sing my song of choice, If I Were A Boy, just because Daryl liked it so much.

“W-what?”

r32;r32;“Another song,” he says, with a ‘don’t waste my time’ sort of tone.  “The one you sang wasn’t good.  I want to hear something else.”

Fucking shit, is he serious? My expression must be telling him exactly how I feel too, because he kind of smirks for a moment, before speaking up again.

“I can pick from the three that just went if you can’t think of anything else.”

I try not to glare, but it’s so hard.  He’s acting like a fucking dick, when he knows how nervous I already am.  “I can sing something else,” I mutter.

He waves his hand a little bit.  “We don’t have all day sweetheart.”

I don’t hesitate, just sing the first thing that comes to mind, Mercedes Benz by Janis Joplin.  I don’t know why I do it...I guess it’s the most unique thing I can come up with in a crunch, and it’s also my mothers favorite song to sing when she’s wasted, but when I finish, and I stare out at the audience again, I see that little smirk back on Justin’s face.  I have no idea what that means, but I know I sang as well as I possibly could.

Now all I can do is wait.

“We’ll do another cut now...two more.”  Daryl motions us all forward, before going to talk to Justin.

I stand there and watch, but Justin holds a notebook over one side of his face as he talks, so none of us can figure out what’s going on.  It’s only when Daryl pulls back and looks at us all, that I know a decision has been made, and I hold my breath.

“We’ll see four and eleven.  Thank you.”

My mother is clapping gently this time, thank goodness.  I don’t have time to revel in my glory, however.  Justin has gotten up from his chair, and one of the girls with him is setting up a camera near the stage while the other one, Rachael, is standing at the ready with her notepad.  He climbs the few steps that lead onto the stage, and looks the two of us over, before taking a seat at the piano to the left of us.

“You first.” He tells number four.

She walks over to him confidently, and his personality seems to do a complete 180 once she reaches him.  He shakes her hand and smiles, asks her what her name is and a little bit about herself.  They joke and laugh casually for a couple of more minutes, before he starts to get down to business.  He runs through some scales, pushing her to her highest and lowest octaves, before breaking into a familiar chorus of one of his own songs.  They sing in harmony, and he sometimes changes keys without warning.  She keeps up pretty well, seems to please him, and I feel like I’ve already lost...

But I can’t do that to myself.  I have to stay positive if I want a shot at this.

Number four is dismissed after a while, and then it’s just me and him.  He stares at me for a long moment before he calls me over, a curious, playful expression on his face, and I have no idea what to think.  “Coming?” He asks.

I walk over, expecting him to treat me the same as the last girl, but he remains serious. 

“Hi,” I say stupidly.

“You got a name?”  He asks me as he begins to toy around with the keys.

“It’s Sterling.”
r32;

“Sounds like something from a soap opera.”

I feel my cheeks burning.  “My mom has a thing for Days of Our Lives.”

“So Daryl picked you up in a karaoke bar?”

I swallow hard.  “Well, he…he wanted to hear me sing and that’s the only place that he really could have.”

“This is a long way from a karaoke bar.”  He says it to the piano keys and won’t look at me.  “A lot different and a hell of a lot more responsibility.”

“I know that.  I’ll understand if I don’t make the cut.”

“What makes you think that you won’t?”

“I…”  I shake my head a little.  I probably shouldn’t be talking about how unconfident I actually am in front of the person that’s making all the decisions.  “I just didn’t think I’d make it so far at this kind of audition.”

He smirks, but decides to get off the subject.  “You know, I’ve watched a lot of people audition in the past.  Nobody has ever sang that Janis song for me.”

“You...know that song?”

“Of course,” he smiles.  “She’s one of my favorites.”

“So I guess you thought I sang it well,” I say, even though it’s a little bold.

“Oh, I didn’t say that,” he laughs.  “I just like the song.”

I back down immediately.  It’s obvious he’s playing around with me, seeing what I’ll say, and I know the best thing I can do right now is shut up and sing.  He starts scaling me without warning, but I quickly catch up, running through the different octaves like it’s nothing, even when I hit notes that Four couldn’t.  I nail them all.  Of course he doesn’t seem phased, but that’s his whole point.  Then he breaks into a slow ballad...one of his own, Until the End of Time.  Thank God I listened, and played it all last night and on the way here, otherwise I would probably choke.  I sing the chorus with him, and then he continues to play the song without singing, expecting me to fill in for him, and I do it without hesitation.  Then he stops, nods at me, and gets off the stage.

What the hell was that?

“Give us twenty ladies,” Daryl calls to us.  “We may or may not be able to make a decision today.”

Great.  I miserably plop down in an empty seat as Justin and his group begin to converse quietly in an isolated area to the far right of the stage.  The girl with the video camera is holding the viewing screen up for Justin, and playing things for him when he asks her to.  Rachael is holding her notepad up and seems to be reading things off for him that she wrote down.  This whole thing seems way too serious for what it actually is...a singing job on a tour.  While it may be the opportunity of a lifetime for me, I’m not sure how I feel about Justin, or how his group runs things.

But then again, he’s been in the business a long time.  He obviously has some know how... I  guess I just don’t understand how his mind works.

Then, just like that, Daryl comes out to talk to us again.  I stand in front of him, and Four quickly catches up.  He’s silent for several moments, before he sighs and begins to speak.

“Congratulations Sterling.”

The other girl sort of nods, and skulks off.  I’m just left staring at Daryl, this random guy who found out I could sing and got me in here at the last minute.  I’ve beaten girls who have been in the game a lot longer than I have, and I know how lucky I am.

But my real question is...why would Justin pick me when he seemed to dislike me so much up on stage?

“Daryl...”

“We’ll have dinner tomorrow night.” He leans down and kisses my cheek.  “I’ll fill you in.  Just...relax for now.  Celebrate the moment, because the work isn’t going to get any easier once rehearsals start.”

“Right.”  I nod, and stare after him as he wanders away.

“Surprised?”

I hear him behind me...Justin, and it causes me to whirl around.  He’s smirking again.  I’m starting to really dislike that little smirk.  “A little...I guess.”

“Well, so am I.  Make sure you’re on time for everything we schedule, and I’d probably leave your mother at home if I were you.  She is your mom right?”

“Uh...yeah.”

He laughs and then he brushes past me, leaving me to wonder what the hell just happened, and how I’m going to fit on his world tour when I’ve never had a professional gig my entire life.