The days between Christmas and New Year’s Eve were like living in some sort of weird holiday limbo. The days were normal in comparison, sandwiched between the joyous holiday of Christmas and the hope-filled holiday of New Year. These days were usually packed with winding down excitement from the Christmas season, new toys being tested, new clothes being worn, new books being read and, of course, new resolutions that everyone know they wouldn’t keep being made. And even though he knew he wasn’t going to keep it, JC Chasez began to think of a resolution he could make.
Perhaps he could get back into music like everyone seemed to want. The only problem was…he wasn’t so sure he wanted it anymore. Even in the very beginning he was shy about his singing voice, not bothering to acknowledge he even had one until people told him often enough that he had a lovely voice. And after his heart-wrenching failure after failure that was Schizophrenic and Kate he wasn’t eager to dip his toe back into that pool. No, writing and producing was his thing now and he enjoyed every second of it. There was no better way than to give back to what got him his start than to help others that would seek him out for guidance or direction. There was no sense in rocking the cradle.
Perhaps he could make a resolution to speak to his friends more than he had in the past few years. No, not his friends. That only undermined how they truly affected his life. His brothers. He spoke to Joey more often than the others, but that was to be expected. Joey and JC were tight during his MMC days, they would roam around Universal and run into each other even when they weren’t planning on it. It just happened and being the closest in age helped cement their friendship. Joey was the wild part of him that he hadn’t felt the courage to showcase until he broke free of *NSYNC and started on his own solo journey. He could always count on Joey checking in on him every now and then. Chris and Lance he spoke to through texts more than to their faces, but that was because Lance was so busy with the Meredith Vieira show now and Chris, well, he wasn’t so into the limelight these days and JC understood that. He had a wife to pay attention to now.
And Justin was Justin. JC gave up hope a long time ago that they would ever be able to find time to get together. If it wasn’t this song he was lending his voice on it was this movie he was working on or this clothing line meeting he had to get to or this golf tournament or this or this or this. And it wasn’t that he wasn’t happy for Justin and his success, of course he was. JC felt like a proud older brother watching Justin through the years but he couldn’t help the niggling ball of resentment that would land in his stomach when he thought about Justin’s solo career was going. And now he had a wife and a little boy to complete his picture perfect life, to wrap it all up in a nice neat little bow.
Maybe that’s what he was missing. Having someone to come home to, to share laughs with, to have someone comfort him, to have someone just be there. One look around his house made him take pause. It was decorated for the holidays, yes, but sparsely so. He didn’t need to go all out because it was just him and he was hardly home anyway but it was missing something…extra. Something extra that could be his resolution…
He snorted. Yeah, like anyone would want to be with a washed up, graying ex-boybander.
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“This all for you, man?” Andrew asked as he rang up the cashier. For a while JC wondered if it was pathetic that he knew the cashier by name and contemplated if he shopped at the little convenience store a bit too much to be normal but then he pushed it aside. It was better than being alone that night.
“Yeah, that’s it,” JC replied, digging into his well-worn jeans for his wallet.
“No, I mean…no wine? No rosé? No snacks?” Andrew shook his head. “C’mon, man, it’s New Year’s Eve! You’re supposed to be doing it up big! Getting drunk and trying to recount what happened the next day. Hopefully waking up to some crazy chick you picked up.”
JC chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “I think those days are long behind me, man. Some Sparkling Cider is all the bubbly I need tonight.”
“You don’t even have a party to go to?”
Andrew’s astonishment made him grumble. He wasn’t in his twenties anymore; parties like that just weren’t his scene, as much as he hated to admit it. It was a startling shock to him, if he were to be honest with himself. One year he was up at all hours, drinking and having a good time and the next…his couch and A Christmas Story sounded more appealing. And then when he settled into that routine, well, what was the point in changing it? He didn’t have family with him this New Year’s and he didn’t have many party invitations extended his way. Not that he minded too much, it saved him time from having to come up with excuses to not attend.
“Just a party for one,” he sighed.
Andrew gave him a long look before ringing him up. JC drummed his fingers against the counter as he idly looked around. A man and woman walked up and down the aisle in an unhurried pace. An unshaven man surveyed rows of formula while bouncing a fussy baby on his hip. An older woman held two packages of adult underwear, her brow creased as she surveyed the price.
This was his crowd now. Wonderful.
JC briefly checked the price on the screen and handed over a few dollar bills. He stuffed the receipt he got into his pocket and grabbed his bags with a nod of thanks. It wouldn’t be long before he was back, they both new it. Formalities didn’t matter at this point.
Once outside the store he ducked his head out of habit more than thinking that any paparazzi would be out there waiting for him. They didn’t care about him anymore; his blood wasn’t what they were after. He lifted his keys out of his pocket and was about to press the unlock button on his keyfob when he heard a thud and a very distinct curse uttered in anger.
He lifted his head to see a woman jumping around, holding onto the front of her shoe as she let out a sting of curses that were so creative it almost made him blush. Eyebrows furrowing, he slowly approached right as she proceeded to yell at her car, “…and I hope your muffler falls out your ass, you shitty hunk of junk!”
“Excuse me. Is everything all right? Do you need help?” JC asked, leaning over to try and catch the woman’s attention.
She whirled around and he took a step back; the way flames flickered in her eyes he wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up her next target. But instead they cooled and she pushed her hair out of her face and huffed. “It’s this damn car! It broke down on me again!”
“Do you know what’s wrong with it?”
“Fuck if I know! It was fine when I got here!” She went to kick at it again but he grasped her upper arm to stop her.
“Whoa, whoa. Okay, let me see if I can figure it out. If that’s alright with you.” He waited for her to say something but instead she stared at him. He shifted under her intense green gaze but then, a moment later, he felt her muscles relax and he let her go.
“Fine, go ahead,” she conceded.
“I’m…” he hesitated, rolling around in his mind which name he’d introduce himself as. “JC” was a habit now, his public persona that rolled off his tongue before he even thought about it. But she didn’t even seem to know who he was, or if she did she was doing a good job at hiding it. Or not caring, a voice in the back of his head supplied. He cleared his throat when he noticed her staring at him, waiting for him to finish his sentence. “Josh. I’m Josh.”
“Autumn,” she replied. “And this piece of shit is Judy.”
JC surveyed the car. “Judy the Jetta?”
“You got a better name for her, Stretch?” she asked, looking up at him. Her words were harsh but her lips curled in the corners and a sparkle settled in her eye.
He chuckled. “Let’s just see how it runs,” he said. He set down his bags and held out his hand for her keys. She slapped them into his palm and he rounded to the other side, popping open the door and sat halfway in the car. He shoved in the keys and tried to turn the ignition but he got a series of clicks in return. He frowned, turned it off, and tried again only to get the same result. “Huh. Did you have a problem starting it to get here?”
“No,” Autumn replied, shaking her head. “It was just fine, except when I tried to leave this damn place.”
“Could be the alternator,” he said, getting back out of the car. “Have you called for help? A tow-truck? Triple A?”
“Yeah but they said it would take a few hours. Apparently everyone and their damn mother has car issues tonight of all nights.”
JC pursed his lips and looked back over to his car. “Well…I don’t live too far from here. You could wait there if you’d like.”
Autumn looked him up and down. “Do you always lure unsuspecting girls to your house under the guise of trying to rescue them like Superman?”
JC’s eyes widened. “Lure!? Who’s…who’s luring? I’m just trying…trying to help. I’m not—“
“Relax,” Autumn said with a laugh. “I’m yanking your chain. I’d appreciate it, really.” She twisted her features until her lips took on a pout. He couldn’t help looking at them; they were plump and rosy and shiny. Captivating…
JC nodded. “My car’s just over there. You can call your family to let them know what happened.”
The car ride was filled with idle chitchat, asking where she was from (Honolulu, Hawaii), what she was doing (training to become a veterinarian), and if she had any New Year’s plans (none whatsoever). It was surprisingly easy to talk to her, there were no awkward pauses and he found himself laughing at her stories until his stomach hurt. He hadn’t laughed like that in a while; she was zealous about every little thing and any story sounded like an adventure.
“Damn. Nice digs ya got here,” Autumn muttered as soon as she stepped through the front door. She spun around in the foyer, taking in everything within sight. Her beat-up leather jacket and hole-covered jeans was a drastic contrast to the sleek, modern style of his home.
“Thanks,” he said while closing the door behind her. “Uhm, phone’s upstairs on the landing. The bathroom’s next door if you need it.”
Autumn gave an appreciative smile. “Thanks.”
JC nodded in return and carried his bags into the large, shiny kitchen. He blew out a long breath and set the bottles on the countertop. His stomach growled which sounded a lot louder in the empty kitchen. He went to the refrigerator and checked the shelves for anything quick to eat. His mouth twisted to the side when all he spotted were leftovers he wasn’t too excited to eat again. A sandwich it is, then.
He made sure to make another one for Autumn just in case she was hungry too. He left them on the counter and walked over to the stairs. He peered up and saw that the landing was empty. Frowning a bit, he climbed up the stairs and then noticed a light on beneath the bathroom door.
“Autumn? Is everything alright?” he asked while tapping on the door with his knuckles.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she replied. But her voice sounded funny, muffled in a sort of way that it wasn’t because of the door that separated them.
“Are you sure? Can I come in?”
“It’s your house, dude,” she replied.
Readying himself for whatever was behind the door, JC turned the knob and pushed it open. He expected a lot of things but he didn’t expect to see her lounging in the large bathtub, almost like lying in bed, with a bowl of candy on her stomach…watching tv.
“I thought they only had TVs in bathrooms in hotels,” she commented, unwrapping another piece of candy. “You rich types really go all out, don’t you?”
His cheeks flushed at her comment as he stepped further into the room. “It’s where I got the idea,” he admitted, “hotels have become like a second home to me after a while I thought it would help people relax.” He looked around for a place to sit down and eventually settled on the lid of the toilet. “I know it’s a bit strange—“
“Dude, this is cool,” Autumn interrupted him with a wave of her hand. “How many times can you say that you’ve watched Project Runway from the bathtub? And with good candy.”
“Not many, I bet,” he murmured. “Any word on a tow truck?”
Autumn rolled her eyes. “S’not going to be here until, like, 11. Like, how many tow trucks do they have the damn city, one? Un-fucking-believable.”
He chuckled. Cursing was a turn-off when it came to some people but with Autumn…it was oddly adorable. Her nose would wrinkle every time she uttered the ‘F’ word and it relit the fire in her eyes. He ran a hand through his hair and pressed his lips together. There was no sense in even entertaining the idea that he was possibly attracted to her, she couldn’t be older than twenty-five, maybe twenty-six…and he wasn’t getting any younger.
“Well, if you get hungry I made you a sandwich. I know it’s not much.”
“I don’t expect some fancy dinner or anything, Josh,” Autumn said, waving her hand again. “I appreciate all this, really. You didn’t have to help me out.”
He shrugged. “Couldn’t leave you there by yourself either.”
“Of course you could. I wouldn’t have been mad about it. It’s my fault for driving the car when I knew it could breakdown. But me and Judy, we’ve been through everything together. I can’t just give up on her yet. We’re bros. We tight. That’s my ride or die right there. Literally.” She laughed at her own joke, a snort-filled laugh that made her eyes crinkle in the corners and a red flush appear on her cheeks. “Hey, come join me. This bathtub’s big enough to fit a football team or something.”
“No, no. That’s okay. I need to—“
“What? Sit alone for the rest of the night?” his eyebrows lifted. “People don’t shop at that store on New Year’s Eve when they have plans. Well, you got plans now. We’re gonna watch Project Runway until my car gets picked up. And I will not take no for an answer.”
JC crossed his arms but he couldn’t stop the smile that blossomed. “You’re very demanding for someone that’s a guest.”
“And you seem very scared to get into an empty bathtub with me,” Autumn shot back. “Don’t worry, I know my manners, I won’t bite. Unless you ask.”
This time JC laughed out loud and then excused himself. He went back downstairs to grab two glasses, a bottle of cider, and the sandwiches and ran back upstairs. He kicked his shoes off by the door and handed her the supplies before climbing in himself. He wiggled around until he felt comfortable pressed up against her side. They carefully poured the sparkling cider, of which Autumn said it didn’t matter they spilled considering it would just go down the drain, and then settled to watch some more of the show.
JC had only seen a few episodes of the show, but that was when he mainly used it as background noise when he was reading or doing that day’s crossword puzzle. But now that he was sitting down and watching it, he found himself enjoying it and in awe of what people could do with any fabric or material they could come across. Designers deserved more recognition, like producers they may be behind the scenes but they were important figures.
He sighed. Why didn’t that seem to be enough for everyone else? He was fine writing and producing, he loved it even. His face wasn’t in the forefront and it wasn’t his name that would be in the press in the off chance that the song didn’t chart well. He was still in the music business, he was still making good money, and people wanted his input on their lyrics and their sound. Pushing and shoving at him wasn’t going to get him to do anything other than dig his heels into the ground.
“What’s up, Stretch? You got a goddess like Heidi Klum on the screen and yet you’re looking through her,” Autumn commented, pulling him out of his thoughts.
“It’s nothing,” JC replied. “I’m just…reflecting.”
“Oh yeah, that whole ‘I should have done this’, ‘I wish I did this’, ‘This didn’t work out the way I wanted but that’s okay’ baloney.” She scoffed. “See, that’s why the next year is a letdown for some people. They think about what they want to change rather than changing it. It’s dumb. Just do what you want, who cares what anyone else thinks?” She sat up and set her glass down. “In fact…” With a sly grin, she took his glass from his hand and swung one leg over him to straddle him.
“Uh….what are you doing?” he asked, his heart now beating hard in his chest.
“You’ll see,” she teased before grasping his face, tilting it upwards, and dropped a kiss on him.
He couldn’t hold back the groan that crawled its way up his throat at her kiss. It was almost as fiery as she was. His eyes fluttered shut and his hands curled around her waist, pulling her closer. Their lips moved together only allowing breaths to be released when they pulled back before going in for more. The sweet, tangy taste of apple coated her tongue of which he sucked on once it was pushed into his mouth. It was an intoxicating taste, even more so than any sort of wine he could have picked up for the night.
Elbows and knees banged against the sides of the tub as they rolled over, JC now atop of her but neither paused to complain. Their hands roamed, grasping and tugging at clothing and any bare skin that was available. A bite to her lower lip earned him the sexiest moan he’d ever heard in his entire life. She grabbed at his hair and nipped at his exposed neck, her hot breath against his skin made goosebumps erupt all over. It was getting hot, too hot between the leather and the thick denim and the cramped space. But they didn’t stop, they couldn’t stop…
He wasn’t sure if it was his foot or her foot that did it but the cold water that cascaded down atop of them jolted the two from their positions as they tried to get away from the stream. JC turned to Autumn, an apology ready to springboard off his tongue, until he saw the smile on her face.
“Oh, excellent!” she laughed, holding up her hands where water began to pool into her palms. “This would happen!”
“Come on, you’re getting soaked,” he said while trying to help her to her feet.
“If this was your plan to get me out of my clothes it’s pretty smart,” she commented.
His cheeks burned beneath the cold water that pelted the top of his head. “That was an accident, really!”
She lifted up on her knees, placed her hands on his chest and leaned forward so her mouth was next to his ear. “I’m not complaining,” she whispered and gave his earlobe a lick, backing away to smile up at him. “Keep up, Josh. I’ll make the rest of this year worth it.”
The water still beat atop of his head as he regarded her. He didn’t doubt that she could keep to her brazen statement. The cold water was supposed to numb his brain and make him make good choices but fuck that. This time it was his turn to grab her face and smash their lips together.
They were still kissing when it turned eleven and she was supposed to go for her car but she muttered that she would castrate him if he even dared to stop and, well, he needed his equipment if he thought things were going to go as far as they were. They were still kissing when the clock struck twelve and exploding fireworks sounded overhead, creating background music to their own bedroom soundtrack.
In the early hours of the morning they were still kissing, slow pecks as sleep started to take ahold of them. When she muttered that it was the perfect first date she’d ever had he laughed and agreed, kissing the top of her head as she snuggled into his side.
If this was to make a mark on how the rest of his year turned out he couldn’t wait to see what they had in store for him. Hopefully her. And maybe some new music too.
