The dark road was harder for you to see with tears pouring from your eyes and streaming down your face. You pull over to the side to think about what happened. You and JC fought again. The same issue that’s been clouding your relationship for the past 7 months is also the reason why you were speeding down the road to see someone else.
You couldn’t help but bring it up again, tonight. The timing was never perfect. JC had just gotten home from a long day at work and no matter how hard you tried to save it for another day, you just couldn’t. The relationship was dull. Everything you two did was because they were your ideas. JC never took the time to suggest new things. He stopped taking you out on dates and he stopped surprising you with predetermined plans the two of you could enjoy.
Materialistic things never impressed you. It was the effort and dedication that you were looking for. You were tired of coming up with so many ideas to spice up the relationship only to hear JC complain about always having to do what you wanted to do. You enjoyed staying at home with him and being alone together, just as he wanted, but you missed the type of interaction you two would share when experiencing new things together.
You missed spending time with JC and your friends. All JC would rather do now is be alone with you. But there’s only so much time you could devote to being at home. You craved the outdoors, you craved new things, you craved the quality time and level of intimacy you and JC used to share which seemed to have slipped through your fingers as if it never existed.
He didn’t understand you. He always took it as a way of attacking and criticizing him. All you wanted was to reach some sort of mutual agreement. You love him and you know he loves you too. But sometimes knowing that he loves you isn’t enough. Tonight was no different. He came home, you two had dinner, sat on the couch and watched TV. He mumbled the same news you heard everyday and night about his daily activities. Then you brought up the topic and he lost it. He screamed obscenities as he expressed his irritation and he questioned why you were never satisfied.
It was enough for you. You grabbed your keys and drove away. You knew where you wanted to go but the guilt was killing you. The only place you could go to was Joey’s. He was the only other person who knew about your issues with JC. But for the past few months you’ve confided in him, something inside of you was growing. It was a great feeling. It made you happy, again. You could laugh and smile with him. You could dance and sing. Everything that you used to do with JC somehow found its way to the times you would spend with Joey.
You love JC. But these feelings for Joey weren’t subsiding. They couldn’t be stopped. Every time you yearned for attention and for someone to listen to you, you went to Joey. You ignored the feelings you were starting to develop and pretended that they were just feelings of relief for finally having someone to connect with.
Your feelings were no secret to Joey. He felt the same way too. However, the both of you came into agreement that nothing would happen. JC was one of Joey’s best friends. He was better at suppressing his feelings for you than you were for him. No matter how many times Joey told you to stop coming to him, it would only last a few days. You needed to be with him. Each time you went to see him, he would take you into his apartment and listen to you as you poured your heart out to him. Then, sometimes without saying anything at all, your anger and heartache would disappear. You and Joey would spend some time together, talking about other things, making jokes, cooking, and hanging out among other things.
It took you a while to finally start the engine again and continue on your route to Joey’s. You told yourself that nothing would happen tonight. Nothing has ever happened between you and Joey so there was no reason for you to be feeling guilty tonight. Your main concern was to have someone to talk to so you could come to terms with how you were going to fix your relationship with JC.
You had already stopped crying by the time you pulled up to the parking lot. The lights in his apartment were on so you knew he was awake. Stepping out of the car, you think about all the things you wanted to tell Joey. Everything that JC said, everything you said, and everything you want to do about the situation. Your heart was too strained.
The door swung open before you could press the doorbell. Joey looks at you pitifully, knowing the reason why you came. A part of you was relieved that he somehow knew that you were coming but another part of you felt ashamed about the fact that you’ve come over so many times that he’s developed a sixth sense for these things.
He urges you to come into the apartment. Joey walks straight into the kitchen and fixes you a cup of hot coco, knowing that it was one of your favorite comfort beverages. Your eyes start to well up as he hands you the mug. He hasn’t said anything to you yet because he knew you liked it best when you spoke first.
Finally, you open your mouth to speak and you explain everything to him. Every hurtful word that you said to JC and what he said to you came rushing back. The scenes kept replaying and you kept crying. You told him about how JC said he wasn’t sure if he loved you anymore and that if this problem has persisted so long, then maybe it was a sign that you two should split up.
You tell Joey how much you still love JC but Joey can hear the uncertainty in your voice. Joey knew that there was something different tonight that you were reluctant to admit. You set the mug down on his ottoman as he wipes your tears with a light touch.
“Should I leave him?” You ask.
“I can’t answer that question for you. You’re the only one who knows what you really want.” He says softly.
You don’t say anything. Mostly because you were unsure about what he wanted you to say. You think you know what you want but in the back of your mind, you know what Joey wants you to say. He wants you to choose him. For once, the idea doesn’t sound too bad for you.
His eyes were warm. Kind and yearning. Suddenly, he takes your hand in his and raises it up to his mouth so he could softly kiss the inside of your wrist, slowly working his way down to the inner curve of your elbow. You take your hand back, surprised at what he was doing. He’s never made any advances before so you weren’t sure of what to do next.
He steps closer and takes you in his arms and kisses your forehead. “Just tell me to stop if you want me to,” he whispers.
Your mind was thinking about all the wrong things. The consequences spun in your head but your heart was swelling with want. You try to speak but it was no use, the situation has crossed the line.
You do nothing as he tilts his head to deliver light kisses to your neck. Your body weakening each time his warm breath collided with your skin. He works up to your ear, gently kissing it. You let out a soft moan as he opens his mouth to lightly suck on your earlobe. He laughs, enjoying how his actions are making you.
He trails hands down as he caresses your arms, barely touching them. He moves them under your shirt and removes it in one quick motion. He picks you up and lays you on the couch. Planting a soft kiss on your lips, he works at unbuttoning your jeans and removing them. You feel his touch return as his hands find a comfortable position on the small of your back, giving you goosebumps.
You kiss him back, harder. Telling him how much you want him too. Your hands move to the bottom of his shirt as you try to pull it off of him. He makes it easy for you and moves back from your lips as the shirt comes off. He removes his shorts himself before returning his lips to yours. It drives you crazy how gentle he’s being when you want him now more than ever. You try to kiss him harder but he pulls away.
He undoes your bra and places it near the mug on the ottoman. Before he could look back at you, you’re pulling down his boxers, revealing him. With a swift motion, he removes your underwear. He stops to look at you. His eyes were intense, full of want.
“God, I adore you.” He says under his breath as he dives back down to kiss you.
This time his kiss is hard and passionate. He moves down your neck then works his way down to your breasts. You close your eyes, waiting for what he would do next. He licks your nipple lightly and your moan with pleasure as he treats the other with the same amount of attention. He groans as you dig your nails into his back. This only causes him to suck harder and you can’t help but squirm. He laughs in between sucks, loving how you writhe underneath him.
He sits up and positions himself over you. He looks at you, making sure that you’re okay with what’s about to happen. You can tell that he wants nothing but for you to be his. Within moments, it could constitute for everything that you two have been trying to prevent in the past. His eyes were sharp and burning with desire, you were losing yourself in his eyes.
Finally, you give him a nod, letting him know that you wanted him as much as he wanted you. He kisses you again as he slowly slides his length in you. You let out a muffled sound as he enters you fully, still kissing you. He gently tugs at your hair with each thrust. His pace was slow and playful.
He wanted you to beg but you weren’t going to give him that satisfaction. You learn his pace and you move your hips with him. He groans with each retaliating motion you make. His pace picks up as he leans over and kisses your neck. His hot breath once again colliding with your skin.
You feel yourself beginning to reach your moment. Joey continues to move without showing any signs of slowing down. Your body twists into him as your walls throb against his length. He groans louder as you feel him spill inside of you. The both of you continue to ride out your completions until his pace starts to slow.
He kisses you on the forehead as he stops. You suddenly realize how hot the living room has gotten as you notice a sweat drop slide down his cheek. Your eyes meet once again, the warmth and kindness returning to his eyes. As soon as his breathing slowed, he picks you up and carries you to the bedroom.
You drop your head into his shoulders as he kisses your neck on the way to his room. He neglects to drop you directly onto the bed but instead, he gently places you on it and makes sure you’re covered in blankets before crawling in next to you. You roll over and put your arms around him as soon as he gets in.
He does the same to you as you lean in for a kiss. Neither of you says anything for the next few moments, realizing what had just happened. There was no doubt you two were thinking about the same thing: what to do about JC. It was clear to you now that you no longer loved him the way you thought you did. You made your choice when you let Joey kiss you.
“I love you,” Joey whispered before falling asleep, his arms still around you.
You sigh with relief as you finally know what you want. The answer was laying right next to you. You've finally come to terms with the one thing you've been trying so hard to desperately ignore. You love him too.