JC Chasez's brows furrowed as he caught sight of her at the crosswalk of Meridian and Lincoln Mall Road. Her hair was a mess of wavy curls reaching her waist. It blew in the summer breeze. He thought it was blonder than he remembered. He watched as she lifted a hand and tucked it behind her ear. He could imagine the look on her face, the irritation, the exasperation.

 

‘Why don't you get it cut?' He had asked her after she had given a growl as her hair whipped around her face in the breeze coming off the Pacific Ocean.

 

‘You like it long.'

 

He did. He loved when she was on top of him and it fell around her face providing a curtain. He loved how it looked fanned on his pillow. He loved running his hands through the soft silky strands when she laid with her head on his chest. He loved brushing it back out of her face before kissing her.

 

Bracelets fell from her wrists and up her arm at the movement.  She wore a pair of short dark wash jean shorts that bared most of her long legs. He knew how silky smooth the skin would be. Had spent hours running his finger tips up and down the skin. He wondered if the delicate gold bracelet he had gotten her was still clasped around her ankle.

 

The crosswalk light turned and the group of people crossed. JC crossed with them. His eyes never leaving her. He watched as she stopped at a vendor on the other side who sold hats. Fedoras, ball caps, bucket hats, straw hats, wide brimmed floppy hats. She tried them all on, laughing with a group of friends. A tan fedora with a black ribbon around it went on her head. She turned and his heart stumbled seeing the wide open smile on her face. Her eyes were covered with large black glasses. He imagined the bright blue eyes sparkling with laughter. They were bluer then his. He should know. He had spent hours staring into them. Knew how the color changed with her moods. Bright as the ocean water in the Caribbean meant she was happy. It was usually paired with a smile. Like the one she currently wore. The blue would darken when she was turned on. He knew that color well too. Her eyes would resemble the color of storm clouds when she was sad. He also knew that color well. It was a color that haunted his sleep. It even had a name thanks to Sherwin-Williams.

 

Blue Willow.

 

It was also the title to a song he had written months ago. It was the last song he had written. It was the last time he had touched his piano. Words had dried up. Not that it mattered. No record labels were beating down his door. Radio wasn't fighting over his songs. Maybe he should have tried harder last year when Jive dropped him. He hadn't expected to have to fight for his music. He did that with NSYNC. He expected to be able to ride NSYNC's successes. It hadn't worked. Not for him anyway. Trying to become a solo artist had been like starting back over. He was relegated back to step one. He wasn't sure he wanted to start over. He wasn't sure if he had it in him. He was much more jaded this time around. He was also alone. Professionally and personally.

 

He drew closer to her and heard her laugh. It was a sound he hadn't heard in a year since she walked out of his house. Longer than a year. There hadn't been laughter in the weeks leading up to their break up. She had tried to keep their relationship going. Had tried for a lot longer than he deserved.

 

Without music to occupy his mind, all that was left were the should've, could've, and would've. He had plenty of those. Could fill up an entire notebook.

 

JC could've pulled her closer instead of pushing her away. He should've pulled her closer. He would've pulled her closer if he didn't think she could do so much better than a washed up pop singer who couldn't make a go of it on his own. He was going nowhere. That had already been proven. Cancelled appearances, low record sales. Fired. Empty words. Broken promises.

 

Thanks to him, she knew about empty words and broken promises.

 

‘But you said...' her eyes had filled with tears. Sparkling bright no longer. No, the clouds had moved in.

 

He had said nothing. Just watched her turn and walk out of his house. He could have stopped her. He should have stopped her. He would have. But she was better off.

 

He could see that now. She looked happy. Happier than he did walking down Lincoln Mall Road in a black polo shirt with a gold design over the left side of his chest. Loose fitting dark wash bootcut jeans and black Vans. Aviator glasses on his face did little to hide his identity. So far he hadn't been stopped. It's not like he was a popular celebrity. That had faded. She handed the vendor bills and the group continued walking. The fedora on her head. It caused him to smile. She looked cute. Adorable. Those words would cause her to roll her eyes. Sexy. The word would have caused her to smile at him. She used to be his. Not anymore.

 

He should have seen this coming. The empty feeling inside of him with her gone. He would have pushed away the morose thoughts. He could have been walking with her right now. He could have wrapped his arm around her neck and pulled her into his side, pressing a kiss into the side of her head. He could be feeling her hair tickling his arm, his cheek. He could have tucked it behind her ear as he stole a kiss. But he couldn't. She wasn't his. He lost that chance.

 

I saw you on the corner
You look happy, happier than I do
Your hair's a little longer
Am I crazy, is it blonder than it was then?
When you walked out of my house
I didn't say a thing, no
It's funny how a year can fill your head with should've, would've, could've been

 

JC was stalking her. At least that's what it felt like to him. He'd already passed the store he wanted to go in. He wasn't in the mood to shop, but it had been something to do. He wasn't sure why he was in Miami. It was somewhere to go. Being surrounded by hundreds of tourists was better than sitting at home in Winter Park. He should have brought Tyler with him. Then he would have at least had someone to hang out with. Tyler would have drug him to every bar and club in South Beach. Not that he was in the mood for that scene. It would have been something to do.

 

A bar and club would have taken his mind off her. Maybe. More than likely he would have done what he usually did in the months since her. Compare the women he hooked up with to her. He'd go through spells where he'd hook up with women who look exactly like her - long legs, long blonde hair, bright blue eyes. Then he would go through women who were the exact opposite. Those who looked nothing like her. He still saw her though.

 

It had been a few months since he brought someone home. It wasn't working. He was tired. Tired of being disappointed in the morning when the body next to him wasn't her. Tired of wishing and wanting something that he would never have again.

 

There were plenty of words he wanted to say to her if given the chance. There had never been a chance. He had spent hours penning the words he wanted to say. Every single thought he had. He opened up on the paper like he hadn't done with her. Couldn't do with her in the end.

 

The words were useless to him on paper. They didn't do him any good. She was still gone and he still wanted her with him. Still wanted her by his side. Wanted her in his bed. Eventually he threw the writings away. Angry that he didn't say them to her initially. Angry he didn't say them to her when she stood in the middle of his living room with her blue eyes full of tears as he told her it was over.

 

‘This isn't working.' The reason it wasn't working was him. He was the broken piece in their relationship. He loved her so much - too much - but couldn't even look himself in the mirror. Could see past what he had become. A failure. He hadn't been worthy of her. He had been once. When he was on top. Not anymore. No. She deserved to be on the arm of someone better than him. He was a waste of time.

 

‘They want you to be a judge...'

 

From the top to not. A to D. From it to who? It wouldn't have been too long before they drifted too far apart on the ladder. She at the top. He on the bottom. He knew her. She'd stay on the rung closest to him letting everything pass her by. For him. He couldn't let her do that. He couldn't hold her back. She deserved to shine.

 

She was the brightest thing in his life. And he snuffed the flame. Casting himself further into the darkness.

 

He was certain there were words for what he did. Martyr. He made himself the bad guy - made her hate him - so she could move on. So she wouldn't think their relationship ending was her fault.

 

Idiot. He torpedoed his relationship. The best relationship he ever had. With the woman he knew was more than likely the one. It was the old adage, ‘if you love someone let them go'. He loved her. Words couldn't begin to describe what he felt. He tried. Lord knows he tried to put what he felt for her to paper. Maybe if he had accomplished that task things would have been different.

 

Right now, staring at her, still the brightest. All those words he had written, all those words he had thought and felt. There were only five he strummed the loudest in his head.

 

Baby, I want you back.

 

JC wondered what would happen if he said those words to her. He wondered what she would do if he caught up with her and told her. Would she laugh at him and turn around continuing down the sidewalk with her friends laughing at the thought of getting back together with him? Would her eyes shine brighter than he ever remembered seeing at his words? Would her smile light up the shadowed places on his heart? Would she throw her arms around his neck in a tight hug that pressed her body against his? He could almost feel it. Feel her body pressed against his. Feel the sun warmed skin beneath his hands. Feel her hair tickling his skin as it blew in the breeze. Hear her soft laughter in his ear as he swung her around. Smell her sweet perfume. The scent sometimes haunted his dreams. Sometimes he imagined he could smell it in his house, on his pillow, on his clothes. Impossible he knew. He'd catch the scent and images would explode in his mind. He wondered if she still wore the same perfume.

 

Would she come back to him if he asked? Would she be able to forgive him for letting her go in the first place? Could he do it if the roles were reversed? He thought he would but his opinion was heavily skewed in the fact that he wanted her back.

Took my words, wrote them down, threw them out
And now there's only five left to tell you

Baby, I want you back
There's a space in my bed
In the shape of your head
I said it, what if I said it?
Baby, I want you back
Would you come back around?
'Cause I need you right now
I said it, there, I said it
Baby, I want you back

 

"I need a reservation for two," JC spoke into his phone. The girls had stopped and he took the opportunity to dig out his phone and make the call. He turned around so they wouldn't notice him. He stared at a display with the layout of the shops that lined Lincoln Road. A red dot indicated where he was. "A private table please. At eight. Can you have a bottle of Kistler Les Noisetiers Chardonnay waiting? Yes." He listened as the information was repeated back to him. "Chasez." He gave him name and confirmed the reservation once more before ending the phone call.

 

When he turned around his heart lurched and fell into his stomach. She was gone. He stared down the sidewalk but didn't see sight of her or her friends. He whirled around and stared back the way they had just walked. Nothing. He closed his eyes and fought the urge to punch the map display in front of him. While he had been securing a table he had lost her.

 

That was his life. While he was tying one end, the other end was unraveling. He never even gotten the chance to tell her. To ask. To invite her to Chateau La Dominique. A high end wine bar in South Beach not far from where he stood now. It was a far cry from the tiki bar they met at in Honolulu where he had been spending the week leading up to the Pro Bowl where he was performing during halftime. He asked her to be his guest for the game. Then he had been cancelled. They spent the day in his hotel room instead.

 

Deciding to go back to his hotel before he cancelled the reservations he just made, JC turned around and froze. There she was. Standing right there in front of him. She was alone. Her friends weren't with her. The sunglasses hid her eyes from him. He wanted to reach up and remove them so he could see her eyes. Were they sparking blue or were they cloudy? The breeze blew around them. Her hair moved around her arms. The fedora kept it from her face. His fingers itched to reach out for her.

 

"How long were you planning on following me?"

 

"I-I wasn't following you." JC cursed silently at having been caught. At not sounding confident in his lie.

 

"I picked you up at Pennsylvania."

 

JC's eyes widened behind his sunglasses. He hadn't noticed her until Meridian. A full two blocks later.

 

"What do you want JC?"

 

He couldn't read her. He needed to see her eyes. They always said what she was feeling. Her words may say one thing but her eyes told the truth.

 

What was he supposed to say to her? Where were all those words he had written? Why was his mind blank? Why couldn't he think of anything to say?  

 

"I want you back."

 

Those hadn't been the words he wanted to say. At least not at first. He should have led off with how she was doing. What she was doing? Small talk until he felt right to ask her to come back.

 

He could see her eyebrows raise over the top of her sunglasses. His heart beat faster. The words were out there. He couldn't take them back. He was at the mercy of her now. She didn't respond right away and he took the moment to drink her in. The black shirt she wore was high neck with spaghetti straps. A gold necklace hung around her neck and dangled between her breasts. Gold bracelets circled one wrist. His eyes scanned down her legs and he swallowed roughly remembering how those legs felt wrapped around his waist. There, dangling around the left ankle, was the gold chain he had given her for the last birthday they were together. The chain was delicate and he feared he would break it when he clasped it. Three tiny butterflies were stationed around the chain. When he put it on, he had kissed the soft skin of her ankle and up her leg and...

 

JC shook off the memories and met her sunglasses covered eyes again. A blush covered his face. He could feel her stare. It felt accusing. Like he didn't have the right to look at her in that manner anymore. He didn't. He hadn't had that right since he let her walk out of his house.

 

"JC..."

 

JC knew he had been recognized. Saw the girls behind her freeze and turn their head to look in his direction. Could see their eyes widen and their smiles grow huge. His window of opportunity was closing rapidly. When he opened his mouth, their squeals cut him off.

 

"Oh my God! JC Chasez!"

 

The window slammed closed. She took a step back from him even as the girls rushed forward.

 

"I love you!" One of the girls squealed and wrapped him in a tight hug.

 

"Wait!" JC called to her. He bit his lip before he said her name. He didn't want anyone to recognize her. He wasn't sure what the girls would do or say. His girlfriends during NSYNC weren't treated kindly in the fandom. Sometimes she hadn't been treated kindly.

 

"I gotta go."

 

JC was effectively trapped with the fans. He wished Lonnie was with him. He no longer needed a bodyguard. Or so he thought. "Meet me at Chateau! Eight!"

 

He watched her walk away without acknowledging she heard his words. He watched until she was gone.

 

A quarter til eight, JC was sitting at a private table at Chateau La Dominique. He wasn't surprised she hadn't arrived yet. He wasn't sure if she was even coming. For all he knew he could be setting himself up for failure. She wouldn't show. He would have to walk out of the wine bar alone, letting everyone know he had been stood up. The embarrassment didn't matter to him. The heartbreak did. If she didn't show, he knew it was over. He had truly lost.

 

It was hard not to keep checking his watch. His leg bounced nervously beneath the table. Two glasses of Chardonnay had already been poured. Presumptuous on his part. The bottle had been left at the table.

 

He cursed himself plenty of times back in his hotel room. For not grabbing her attention sooner. If he had, he might have been able to get an answer to his question. He wouldn't be sitting at a table for two waiting. Wondering. It wasn't the first time he had cursed himself when it had come to her. He'd been cursing himself for the better part of nine months. He needed those three months to truly realize what he had done. What an idiot he had been. By then he hadn't been able to contact her. To be honest, he wasn't sure he would have contacted her now if he hadn't bumped in to her on the street.

 

He fiddled with the black tie he wore. He hadn't been sure what to wear. The impromptu trip to Miami had led to haphazardly packing but he was a pro at packing after doing it for most of his life. He never went anywhere without dress clothes. Never knew what would pop up. It was better to be prepared. His clothing fit his mood. Black. Bleak. Along with the black tie, he wore black dress slacks and a black long sleeve button up shirt. Black dress shoes.

 

His eyes looked around hoping to spot her. From his seat, he couldn't see the door. After all, he had requested a private table. Chateau La Dominique wasn't the type of place his fans would frequent. It was pricy, upscale. There still could be fans tucked away. The rich socialite type looking to spend his money. No thank you.

 

He rubbed his hand on his slacks. The nerves were starting to show. He knew it was after eight. He saw the long look from his waiter. Recognized the pity. Once again he kicked himself for putting himself in this position. Tonight could have been different. He could still be sitting at this table. Dressed the same. Yet she would be by his side. Her laughter brightening up the place. Two wine glasses would be on the table in front of him along with the half empty bottle of Chardonnay. Their chairs would be close together. His arm would be resting along the back of her chair. His thumb caressing a bare shoulder. Theirs heads would be bent together.

 

That wasn't the case. The image was a dream. A should've, could've, would've to add to the list. Glancing at his watch he saw it was approaching eight thirty. His shoulders slumped in defeat. She wasn't coming. He slid from the chair and reached into his back pants pocket for his wallet to throw a couple sizable bills on the table. For the wine. As an apology for taking up the table.

 

"A bottle is a little bit too much to drink alone."

 

JC's head snapped up. She stood in front of him, a nervous smile on her face. He drank her in. From her blonde hair swept over one shoulder and the drop silver earrings to the high neck little black dress. He wanted to hug her. He wanted to pull her into his arms and hug her to him. He wanted to kiss her sweet lips. He wanted to hold her hand.

 

"Hello JC."

 

Once again he had to shake himself. She was supposed to give him words not take them away. Though she'd been taking his words away since Honolulu. He'd let her continue stealing them for the rest of his life if she gave him the chance.

 

"Rachel..." he breathed and tucked his wallet back into his pants pocket. Then he was moving. He pulled her into a hug. Tried to keep it short in greeting but it lingered. He lingered. Her sweet floral scent surrounded him and steeled himself against the shudder wanting to course through him. He forced himself to let her go.

 

"Thank you," Rachel said after the waiter pushed her chair in.

 

"I figured you weren't showing up." JC admitted. "Wasn't sure you heard me."

 

"I wasn't sure I was showing up either."

 

An awkward silence fell over the table. JC had a million things he wanted to say to her but he couldn't think of one. He stared at her still unable to believe she had actually shown up. He tried to analyze what it meant. Did she show up out of curiosity? Wanted to hear what he had to say before leaving? Did she show up because she wanted what he wanted? Did she want to get back together? Was the year apart as bad for her as it was for him? He doubted it.

 

"How have you been?" He finally asked. Lame.

 

"Okay. Work's been pretty busy. Hectic. Just..." Rachel lifted one shoulder in a shrug. She reached for her drink. It was her favorite Chardonnay. She had noticed the label immediately. "Needed a breather. So a couple friends and I decided to come here for a week."

 

"What's going on?" JC asked concerned. Rachel worked for a talent agency in Nashville. The company had some major names from the country music industry. It had been nice to be able to unload on someone who had understood the entertainment world. She knew how it worked.

 

"I'm not sure," Rachel played with the corner of her napkin. At one time her job meant everything to her. It brought excitement. She worked hard up the ladder to her current position. She'd picked up a lot of contacts. Recently it wasn't enough. Recently as in the last year. When JC broke up with her. "It just doesn't bring the same excitement or accomplishment as it used to."

 

Her job and living in Nashville paired with JC's schedule and splitting his time between Florida and California had made it hard for their relationship to work. Sometimes their relationship boiled down to phone calls and video chats. Those were broken up with stolen days they could sneak together when their schedules meshed. When JC could sneak to Nashville. Very rarely could she fly to Orlando or LA. Sometimes work sent her to LA and those days felt like Christmas knowing she was flying to him. She had been proud of their relationship. Proud that they had been able to maintain one with the distance between them. The stressors. The dedication she applied to her job shifted to her relationship. It was probably why she was thinking of quitting. After the break up, she couldn't shift everything back to the job.

 

"What about you?"

 

"What about me?" JC asked. He didn't want to talk about him. It wasn't important. What was important was her. He wanted to delve deeper into why she wasn't happy with her job anymore.

 

"What have you been up to?"

 

‘Missing you.' Would have been the real answer. Instead he answered, "nothing."

 

"Nothing?" Rachel furrowed her brows in confusion. "What do you mean nothing? Shouldn't Kate be ready to be released? Did I miss the release date? I was waiting... I'm sure Jive's kept you busy with appearances. What's going on?" She asked when he started shaking his head almost immediately.

 

"You didn't miss the release." It did something to hear she had been waiting for his new CD even after.

 

"JC?" Rachel asked quietly. "What happened?"

 

It was a loaded question.

 

"Jive gave me the boot."

 

"What!" Rachel gasped. Emotions rolled across his face in waves. Before she could think, she reached across the table and placed a hand on his. She squeezed his fingers with hers. "Why?"

 

JC shrugged. He stared down at the table. Her hand on his. Her nails were painted a shade of teal. The same color of the purse she had carried when he saw her earlier. He wondered if her toes were the same color. He felt the pressure in his hand and he looked up meeting her eyes.

 

"JC?" Rachel questioned softly. Her eyes searched his, seeking answers.

 

"They cited a number of different reasons." JC shrugged again and broke their gaze once more. "Low record sales. Poor charting. Ultimately they had Justin and didn't need me."

 

"Bullshit." Rachel said emphatically. "Anyone with half a brain knows you're a helluva lot better than he is. They just did you so stupidly. I swear Jive and WEG couldn't find their asses from a hole in the ground. I have a contact over at RCA. He owes me. I have a friend at Interscope. She definitely owes me. I can give them a call. Set something up. Did Jive keep Kate? You can give me a copy and I'll take it back to Nashville with me." She reached for the black purse that held her Blackberry. Her mind already working through her contacts she could give JC's CD to. Even with the favors she could call in, she couldn't secure him a contract. But at least she could get him in to talk with other record labels.

 

"Why would you do that?" JC asked in disbelief.

 

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked, looking up from her Blackberry where she was in the middle of sending a text to her friend at RCA. "Cash in favors?"

 

"For me. You're willing to stick your neck out for me. After what happened between us..."

 

"I'll stick my neck out for you because I believe you're one of the most talented singers. Easily the best." Rachel told him without hesitation.

 

JC wished he had the confidence to believe what she said. After the past year his confidence was in the toilet. All he wanted to do was sing and apparently he wasn't good enough to do that. At least not on his own.

 

"What happened to you?" Rachel asked softly watching his face. She saw the doubt swirling around him. She had never seen him like this in their years together. "This isn't like you. The guy who came up to me at that tiki bar in Hawaii wouldn't have followed me nearly the whole length of the mall without saying something."

 

"The guy in Hawaii hadn't done the most stupid thing and let you go."

 

"Then why did you?"

 

"Because I knew what was happening."

 

"You wanna fill me in because apparently I didn't know what was happening and it was my relationship too."

 

"I knew what was happening with my career. Knew it from the beginning. Just didn't want to see it I guess."

 

"It wasn't your fault." Rachel leaned forward in the chair, resting her arms on the table. She crossed her legs beneath the table and accidentally kicked him with her foot. The apology died on her lips when she felt his fingers trail over her foot to her ankle where the anklet rest.

 

"You still wear it." JC shifted in his seat to be able to easily touch her foot. He caressed the skin around the anklet.

 

"Of course I do," Rachel breathed feeling his touch deep within. Her skin warmed beneath his touch. Everywhere he touched felt on fire. Like her body had woken up. There was half a notion to remove her foot from his touch but then why did she even show up? She knew the night would go down this path. He had told her as much on the street.

 

‘I want you back.'

 

That's what he had told her right there in the middle of the crowd. Her body had warmed then too, when she watched him check her out. She had been doing the same. Her eyes had greedily run over his body. From his hair, cut short in a faded style. Such a far cry from the long hair that curled against his collars when they first met. She had noticed his naked neck immediately. The Leo necklace he had worn for so long was no longer around his neck. His arms had been bare. No watches or bracelets were around the wrists. The black polo shirt had fit him nicely pulling across his chest. The blue jeans hung on his hips. His body long and lithe has she remembered.

 

"I meant what I said." JC said softly.

 

Rachel met his eyes, staring into the blue depths. His eyes always pulled her in. Her heart beat faster as she continued to stare. She could read the emotions in his eyes. The hopefulness. The fear. The want. The regret. Love. She could see them all. His hand still caressed her ankle. "JC..."

 

"I don't want to go another day without you," JC spoke. "There's this space in my bed in the shape of you."

 

Rachel removed her foot from JC's touch and straightened in her chair. "Is that why you want me back? Because your bed is empty?"

 

"No," JC shook his head. He scooted to the edge of his chair so he could lean across the table. The floral scent of her perfume surrounded him. He breathed it in. "Letting you go last year was the stupidest thing I have ever done. My life, professionally, was sinking so I stupidly torpedoed my personal life. I know I hurt you. I am sorry. I never meant to. I just thought you would be better off without me. You would find someone more successful...someone better than me."

 

"I wasn't with you because of who you were professionally." Rachel was slightly offended. "I didn't care that you were JC Chasez from NSYNC. I cared that you were the man whom I could talk to for hours. Who listened to me. Who made me laugh. Who could make me forget my own name with a look. Who was so giving and loving. Who, even after all the successes, was still so humble and down to earth. To me, you were just JC."

 

JC swallowed roughly. "I've never been ‘just JC' to any one. I've always been someone who could get you something. A stepping stone to something bigger."

 

"Not to me." Rachel told him firmly. Before she could think she reached a crossed the table and laid her hand over his. She watched as he reversed their positions and laid his hand on hers. His fingers curled around her palm. "It doesn't matter to me if you never release another song or have one chart...well it does matter to me because I know that's what you want. I know you want to write songs and release albums. Go on tour. I want you to accomplish that. But if you don't, I wouldn't love you any less. I wouldn't attach myself to the next JC who comes up the charts and ride the wave of success until the next one comes along." She felt a lump rise in her throat. "I want to ride whatever wave you're on. Big, little, or even just floating along on calm waters."

 

"I don't deserve you," he said. "There isn't just a shape of you in my bed. There is a shape of you in my life. In my heart. I love you so much."

 

"You hurt me."

 

"I know I did." His heart cried out for her. He needed her so much. He was prepared to beg. He didn't want it to come to that, but he would if he needed to. The last year had proved to him that he needed her in his life. "I'm sorry. You don't know how sorry I am. How much I regretted breaking up with you. How much I hurt myself by letting you go."

 

"Why did you invite me here tonight?"

 

"Catch up." JC answered. "Hoping to make up," he confessed. "Maybe make out," he finished sheepishly. He gave a grin when he saw Rachel blush and squeezed her hand.

 

"I kept waiting for you to come up to me earlier. I was nervous because I knew you were there and I didn't know what you were gonna do."

 

"I didn't know what to do. I kept trying to think of what I wanted to say. Trying to figure out if I begged you to come back if you'd laugh at me or jump into my arms."

 

"I hadn't decided if I was gonna jump or not."

 

"What about now?" The questioned was loaded. Everything he wanted was right here. She was everything that mattered.

 

"I've missed you JC." Rachel felt his hand squeeze hers.

 

"Then come back to me." He wanted his voice to be more confident, but he wasn't confident. Just because she missed him. Didn't mean she wanted to get back together. He could have blown his chance. "I promise I won't hurt you again."

 

Rachel could feel the tears forming in her eyes. His hand tightened arounds hers. "I love you."

 

JC heart skipped a beat. He slid from his chair and pulled her from hers. When she was standing he cradled her face in his hands. "I love you Rachel. So much. And I'm sorry for..."

 

Rachel placed a finger on his lips. "Shh..." she whispered. "Just kiss me..."

 

Tipping her head up, JC lowered his lips to hers. The kiss was gentle and full of promises. It didn't last as long as he wanted it to. While it was a private table at Chateau La Dominique, nothing was ever really private. He wrapped his arms around her when the kiss ended and pulled her against his body. She molded against him and he held her tight. He turned his head toward her, burying his face in her hair. He breathed her in as everything settled inside of him.

 

When they took their seats at the table, chairs were moved together. This time they sat side by side, their bodies angled toward each other. Rachel crossed her legs and her foot was able to run up and down JC's leg. One of JC's arms wrapped around the back of her chair, his fingers caressing her bare shoulder. His other rest on her thigh. Their heads were bent together.

 

JC lifted his hand from her thigh and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear that had fallen. "I wanted to do that earlier. It was blowing everywhere."

 

"Why do you think I bought a hat?" Rachel leaned her shoulder into him and was rewarded when he tightened his arm around her pulling her more securely against him. The Chardonnay bottle was nearly empty in front of them. "How long are you in Miami?"

 

"As long as you are." JC smiled when she looked at him and gave her a soft kiss. "Then I'll be home in Winter Park...or Nashville..." he let his words trail off.

 

"Come to Nashville?" They had to work out logistics and schedules again. California, Nashville, Florida. His schedule. Her work schedule. Not for the first time over the last few months, she thought about handing in her two week notice. Then she would be free to be wherever JC needed to be. She could stop his thoughts in their tracks about breaking up with her if they rise again. He wouldn't be able to hide them over phone calls.  

 

JC nodded. Their lips met in a tender kiss. He lifted his hand from her thigh and cupped her cheek as his lips moved with hers. "Come back to my hotel," he whispered against her lips. Her eyes darkened and his breath caught.

 

"We can finish catching up." Her lips parted into a teasing grin. Her blue eyes sparkled.

 

"Yes." JC trailed his finger down her cheek then back up before threading them into her hair. The strands were as soft and silky as he remembered. "Don't forget making out."

 

"Definitely not." Their breaths mingled. Their lips where whispers away. "Let's not forget the making up..." the kiss was so light their lips barely touched.

 

"I've imagined you back in my bed for months. Your hair fanned out on my pillow..."

 

"We can go right now." Rachel placed a hand on JC's thigh, feeling the muscles beneath her touch. Her body warmed and she shifted in her seat. "You know drinking wine makes me frisky."

 

"Why do you think I always had wine available when you visited?" He had to stifle a groan when her hand ran up his thigh. He dropped his hand to hers, stopping her movements. He brought her hand to his mouth where he kissed her knuckles.

 

JC paid the bill and waited for Rachel to stand before he was able to move from the table. He placed a hand on her lower back as they weaved through the tables and out the door. On the sidewalk the breeze came off the ocean and blew Rachel's hair around her face. He grinned and took the opportunity to brush the hair from her face. "You could always get it cut."

 

"You like it long."

 

"I love you." With his hands on either side of her head, trapping her hair back, JC kissed her.

 

 

Would you meet me at the chateau?
At a table, I'd get your favorite chardonnay, yeah
'Cause babe, you know, a bottle is a little bit too much to drink alone
We could catch up, make out, make up
'Cause I don't wanna go
Another day without you, come on

Baby, I want you back
There's a space in my bed
In the shape of your head
I said it, what if I said it?
Baby, I want you back
Would you come back around?
'Cause I need you right now
I said it, there, I said it
Baby, I want you back

Whoa, whoa, at the chateau
Baby, I want you back
Whoa, whoa, at the chateau
Baby, I want you back

Took my words, wrote them down, threw them out
And now there's only five left to tell you

Baby, I want you back
There's a space in my bed
In the shape of your head
I said it, what if I said it?
Baby, I want you back
Would you come back around?
'Cause I need you right now
I said it, there, I said it
Baby, I want you back

Whoa, whoa, at the chateau
Baby, I want you back
Whoa, whoa, at the chateau
Baby, I want you back
Baby, would you meet me at the chateau?
Baby, I want you back
Oh, baby, would you meet me at the chateau?
Baby, I want you back