vvJake Matthews sat on the floor in his living room with his best friend Kristen, popcorn in hand waiting for the new Disney Channel Special to come on.

 

“Would they hurry up? I want to see *NSYNC!”

 

Kristen laughed. “You’re more excited about this than I am!”

 

“I can’t help it! Justin is so. . .” his voice trailed. “I just like their music, okay?”

 

“Um hum. Sure you do. So it has nothing to do with the blonde haired, blue eyed lead singer?” she teased.

 

Jake rolled his eyes.

 

The opening notes to “I Want You Back” came on then and they turned their attention to the screen. Jake’s eyes immediately locked on Justin, completely tuning out the other members of the group.

 

Kristen was more focused on the brown haired, blued eyed crooner standing next to him. She found herself lost in those smoldering blue eyes and velvety voice. It sounded heavenly. Yes, heaven was missing an angel. God definitely spent a little more time on him.

 

“He’s cute.”

 

“Who’s cute?” Jake asked, reluctantly pulling his eyes away from the object of his affection.

 

“The one standing to Justin’s left.”

 

Seeing her dazed expression, Jake couldn’t help but smile.

 

“Now who’s obsessed?”

 

 

J.C. couldn’t sleep. For the past couple of nights, he’d been having the same recurring dream. Staring at his reflection in a mirror, two infants suddenly appeared, looking just like he did as a baby. Standing on the other side was another image of  . . .himself?

 

What did that mean exactly? He had been thinking of searching for his birth family recently. Could that be it? He shook that thought out of his head. He’d never wanted to look before. Why start now?

 

He loved his parents, brother, and sister. If he searched for his birth family he would only hurt them and that’s the last thing he wanted to do. Still, his dream haunted him.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” asked Justin, breaking J.C. out of his reverie.

 

“Huh?” J.C. had completely forgotten they were sharing a room tonight.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

 

Justin knew something was wrong. It was almost three o’clock in the morning. J.C. never stayed up that late, especially after a show. They always teased that sleep was his favorite past time. So when he missed it, it could mean one of two things: he was either working on a song or something was bothering him.

 

“I’ve been having this dream that I can’t quite figure out.”

 

“What kind of dream?”

 

“Um . .I’m . . . I” How could he explain it to Justin when he didn’t understand it himself?

 

He shook his head. “Never mind. It’s nothing. Forget it.”

 

“It didn’t seem like nothing.”

 

“I said forget it, okay?” he shouted.

 

“Okay. Okay. Sorry. I was just trying to help.”

 

“I know. I – it’s just something I have to figure out myself.” If only he could.

 

“Alright, but if you ever need to talk, I’m here.”

 

“Yeah, I know. Thanks.”

 

Justin went to sleep. If only J.C. could do the same.

 

 

Ever since his parents had told him that he was adopted, Jake had wanted to look for his birth family. He hadn’t found anything yet, but he still remained hopeful. He’d always wished for a brother or sister growing up; he hated being an only child.

 

But what if his birth family didn’t want to be found? He’d been through so much rejection already, he wasn’t sure he could handle any more. Yet he was willing to take that chance.

 

That’s why he liked *NSYNC so much. They were like a family; a band of brothers. That’s why this lawsuit was killing him. How could someone who claimed to be their “father” hurt them this way?

 

Just thinking about the lawsuit made his blood boil. It was inconceivable that his favorite group’s career could be cut short just because some money hungry executive thought he “owned” them and could do whatever he wanted, at their expense.

 

Jake sat at his computer trying to figure out what to write in his email to *NSYNC. Nothing he’d come up so far seemed to work. He thought of just writing Justin, but that wouldn’t be fair to the others, so he decided to write them all together.

 

Joey, Chris, Lance, Justin, and J.C. sat in their lawyer’s office pouring over all of their contracts with Lou Pearlman and Transcontinental. They couldn’t believe it. He owned everything – the rights to music publishing, merchandising, tour proceeds, traveling expenses, AND a 20% managing fee.

 

J.C. wanted to cry. All he ever wanted to do was make music and now his dream was slipping away from him. Where did it all go wrong? He thought back to the day that they had signed with Transcontinental. How happy and trusting they had been when “Papa” Lou promised to make them rich and famous. They may be famous, but they certainly weren’t rich. It had been lies; all lies.

 

They all went back to their hotel, broken and discouraged. Wanting to forget the events of the day, Chris, Lance, Joey, and Justin decided to hang out and watch a movie.

 

“J.C., you coming?” asked Joey.

 

“No, I think I’m going to pack it in for the night.” In truth he just wanted to be alone.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

 

Joey shrugged his shoulders and went to join the others.

 

 

Just as J.C. was opening the door to his room the phone rang.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Josh?”

 

“Mom?” he answered, his voice cracking.

 

“Honey, are you alright?”

 

“Everything we’ve worked for is falling apart.”

 

Karen Chasez’s heart broke upon hearing those words. She knew they’d had a meeting with their lawyer today and from the sound of it things hadn’t gone well.

 

“What happened?” she asked gently.

 

“We – we saw all the contracts together.” J.C. paused before continuing. “It’s worse than we thought. He controls everything.”

 

 

“Oh My God!” Kristen’s jaw dropped when she walked into Jake’s room. Images of Justin Timberlake covered the walls; there was even one on the ceiling. She didn’t even want to know how that got there.

 

“What?”

 

“Uh . . .Jake? Don’t you think this is a little much?”

 

She had posters of J.C. and *NSYNC on her wall, but she also had posters of Nick Carter and the Backstreet Boys.

 

“No. I like Justin. You know that. How is this any different than you having J.C. and Nick on your wall?”

 

“J.C. AND Nick,” she emphasized. I have both of them on my wall, not just one. And certainly not like this.”

 

“That’s treason, by the way. You need to pick just one.”

 

She rolled her eyes.  “I’m allowed to like more than just one.”

 

“And I’m allowed to decorate my room any way I want.”

 

“So . . .” she said, changing the subject. “Are we still going to Orlando for Thanksgiving?”

 

“Yeah. My parents aren’t too happy about it though.”

 

“Mine either, but we have to be there to support *NSYNC.”

 

 

J.C. needed to get his mind off of the upcoming trial, but wasn’t sure how. He thought of joining the guys for the movie but wasn’t really up for it.

 

“It’s been awhile since we checked our email.” He logged onto nsync.com and saw new messages cluttered their inbox. One in particular caught his attention.

 

Dear *NSYNC,

 

I have been a fan of yours since I first heard “I Want You Back”. I couldn’t wait for your Disney Channel Special to come on and when it did my best friend and I had a party to watch and celebrate.

 

I watch Total Request Live everyday to see if you’re on and to vote for your videos on the countdown. My friends make fun of me for liking your music, but I don’t care. It calms me down when I’m having a bad day and takes me to another place when I want to get away from reality.

 

But mostly, I admire your friendship. Every time I see you on TV or read your interviews, you are always joking around with one another, almost like brothers, or at least that’s the way it seems. As an only child I’d always wondered what that would be like.

 

Thank you for the opportunity to experience that and know that your other family, the fans, love and support you 100%.

 

Jake

 

 

It was emails like this that reminded J.C. of why he’d gotten into entertainment in the first place, to bring happiness and joy to people through his music. Even though he’d probably never meet them all, it meant a great deal to him to know that there were people out there who appreciated him and his “brothers” enough to stick by them even when things got hard.

 

What surprised him most, though, was that this letter was from a male fan. Most of their fans were female and the few males that did come to their concerts looked like they were there under protest. He liked that Jake not only liked their music, but wasn’t afraid to admit it.

 

The way he spoke of being an only child made J.C. cherish his relationship with not only his brothers in*NSYNC, but Tyler and Heather as well. He’d always taken his responsibility as a big brother seriously and regretted the times he wasn’t there for them. Since joining MMC and *NSYNC that was a lot. Knowing how much his family loved him eased his mind. He slept peacefully for the first time in weeks.

 

 

Kristen and Jake settled into their hotel room before heading down to the courthouse to meet up with other fans.

 

“I can’t believe we’re here!” shrieked Kristen. “That flight took forever!”

 

“Tell me about it!” agreed Jake.

 

The five hour flight from Los Angeles seemed to last an eternity. When they walked onto the plane wearing *NSYNC t-shirts and jeans with “I love J.C. and Justin” written on them they got curious looks from the other passengers.

 

“Alright,” said Kristen, “Do we have everything we need?”

 

“I think so,” said Jake. “But let’s go through the list just to make sure.”

 

Kristen looked down at the paper in her hand. “CDs?”

 

“Check.”

 

“Posters?”

 

“Check.”

 

“Tour books?”

 

“Check.”

 

“Signs?”

 

“Check.” He held up the signs that read “The Girl Who Has Everything Wants J.C. Will You Marry Me?” and “Justin, You Tear Up My Heart”.

 

“Lunch?”

 

“Got it.”

 

“Let’s go.”

 

When Jake and Kristen got there fans had already begun to gather outside. They couldn’t believe the magnitude of people that had come to support *NSYNC. They knew there would be some fans there, but not this many. As they tried to maneuver their way to the front of the crowd, they were stopped by a girl, no older than twelve years old.

 

“May I have your autograph J.C.?”

 

He looked at the girl quizzically. “My autograph?”

 

“Um hum.” She held out her *NSYNC CD. “Please? Before you go into the courthouse?”

 

“I don’t. . .” Jake wasn’t sure how to respond. It was clear that she thought he was J.C., though he couldn’t understand why.

 

She continued to stare at Jake, waiting for his response. “J.C.?”

 

“Sure,” he answered. “Anything for a pretty little girl like you.”

 

Kristen stood there, mouth agape.  “What are you doing?” she whispered in his ear.

 

Jake ignored her, as he handed the autographed CD back to the girl. “Thanks, J.C.!”

 

 

The empty courtroom felt cold and dreary.  J.C. shivered as he walked inside. This was a nightmare. It had to be. If only he could wake up. He looked around the room, his eyes fixing on the bench where the judge would be sitting; the judge that would decide the fate of his career’s future.

 

“You okay, man?”

 

J.C. jumped out of his skin at the sound of Chris’ voice. He hadn’t even heard him walk into the room.

 

J.C. bit his lip and shook his head. “Not really. You?”

 

“No. I couldn’t sleep at all last night. I was too nervous.”

 

Chris began to fidget, playing with his fingernails. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

 

“For what?”

 

“For this,” he said, motioning toward the front of the courtroom. After he’d been rejected by the Backstreet Boys it was Chris who had approached Lou about starting another group. Because of the blind trust that he and the other guys had put in Lou, their worlds were now falling apart.

 

“Chris, you didn’t do this, Lou did. He’s the one to blame.”

 

As Chris was about to respond, the court began to fill with people. J.C. spotted his family and walked over to greet them before the proceedings started.

 

“I’m really glad you’re all here.” He said hugging his parents, brother and sister.

 

“Where else would we be?” asked Tyler.

 

“Josh, it’ll all work out in the end. You’ll see,” Heather squeezed his hand and pulled him in for a hug. “We love you.”

 

“I love you too.” J.C. smiled at her and his parents before going to the front and taking his seat.

 

 

 

“What the hell was that?” Kristen screamed, just loud enough for only Jake to hear.  “You’re not J.C! Why’d you let her think that you are?”

 

“What was I supposed to do? Tell her no?”

 

“Yes!”

 

“Come on, Kris! You saw the look on her face. If I told her no, she would have been heartbroken because her favorite *NSYNC member wouldn’t give her his autograph.”

 

“There’s just one problem. You AREN’T her favorite *NSYNC member! What if she catches the real J.C. outside of the courthouse while he’s signing autographs and thinks HE’S the imposter because she already has YOUR autograph? How do you think they’re going to feel when they realize they’ve both been duped?”

 

“I didn’t really. . .”

 

“How would you have felt if that had been Justin?”

 

Jake sighed. “Okay. Okay. I get your point, but there’s nothing I can do about it now.”

 

As Lance testified on the stand J.C.’s mind wandered to his audition for the Mickey Mouse Club. He was both nervous and scared. It seemed that most of the contestants had been through this process before. He’d done school and local talent shows, but nothing like this.

 

If he made it through, he’d be performing in front of a national television audience once a week.  Yet he knew this is what he was meant to do and if given the chance he’d make the most of the opportunity. Now, just four years later, it had all been grounded to a halt.

 

“J.C., J.C.?”

 

“Yeah?” He looked over at Joey, who was sitting next to him.

 

“It’s over. We’re free.”

 

“What?”

 

“I said we’re free. The judge ruled in our favor.”

 

“We WON?”

 

Joey laughed. “Yeah.”

 

J.C. didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. For nearly two years *NSYNC traveled Europe making a name for themselves. Touring had become a way of life for them as they graced the covers of magazines, sold merchandise, and topped it all off with a platinum selling record. Finally, they’d been vindicated.

 

 

“J.C. are you still there?” Joey asked, waving his hand in front of J.C.’s face.

 

“Huh?” J.C. said, snapping out of it. “Yeah, I’m still here.”

 

“You zoned out there for a minute. Are you okay?”

 

“I was just thinking.”

 

“About what?”

 

“The album and what direction it should go in.”

 

“Work. Work. Work.,” Joey teased. “Is that all you think about?”

 

“Yeah, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

 

 

Outside the courthouse, fans cheered when they heard the verdict. Everyone jumped up and down and hugged one another waiting for *NSYNC to emerge. Chris came out first, followed by Lance, Justin, Joey, and J.C.

 

They smiled and waved as they walked down the courthouse steps, stopping to sign autographs along the way. Jake and Kristen tried to maneuver to the front in time to reach J.C. and Justin, but were too late.

 

“We were almost there!” Jake couldn’t believe it. They were so close, yet so far.  “I could almost touch Justin!”

 

“I think I saw J.C. smile at me!” shrieked Kristen. “Do you think he saw my sign?”

 

Suddenly, they heard a deep masculine voice come from behind. “Would you like me to give it to him?”

 

Jake and Kristen turned around and looked directly into the face of Lance Bass. They stood there with their mouths agape. Lance chuckled and repeated his question. “Would you like me to give it to him?”

 

Kristen was the first to speak. “To J.C.?”

 

“Um hm.”

 

“Could you give this to Justin?” Jake piped up. This was his chance and he wasn’t going to miss it.

 

“Sure.”

 

“Thanks!” They said in unison.

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

When he turned to walk away, Kristin shouted, “Wait! Lance!”

 

“Yes?” he said, walking back over to them.

 

“Could we get an autograph and picture?”

 

“No problem. What are your names?”

 

“Jake.”

 

“Kristen.”

 

He signed the CDs and posed for pictures then set out to get in his car as they went to their hotel.

 

 

“J.C., Justin. I have something for you.”

 

They were all at Jive Studios in Orlando winding down from `the events of the day.

 

“What is it?” asked J.C.

 

Lance had a devilish look on his face as he pulled out the rolled up signs in his hands.

 

J.C. and Justin’s jaws dropped when they read the messages that said “The Girl Who Has Everything Wants J.C. Will You Marry Me?” and “Justin, You Tear Up My Heart”.

 

“Uh. . .thanks”, said Justin, reaching for his sign. “Who are they from?”

 

“”J.C.’s is from Kristen and yours is from . . .” Lance paused before continuing, “Jake.”

 

“Jake?”

 

Joey and Chris burst out laughing.

 

“You’ve got a boyfriend, too, Justin?” Chris smirked. “Does Britney know?”

 

“Shut up, Chris.”

 

“ ’C, you’re pretty quiet over there. Said Joey. “Making plans with your new fiancé?”

 

“What?”

 

“You’ve been zoning out a lot lately. What’s up?” asked Justin. “And don’t say nothing’s wrong, because it’s obvious that something’s bothering you.”

 

“I’ve just had a lot on my mind, lately, that’s all.”

 

“We all have. But it’s over now.”

 

“Yeah, you’re right. It’s over.”

 

Little did any of them realize that though their journey may be over, J.C.’s was just beginning.

 

 

“So what do you want to do now?” Kristen asked. Most fans had left the courthouse and gone their separate ways.

 

“I don’t know. Go back to the hotel? I promised my parents I’d call them when we got here to let them know we’re okay, but I forgot before we left to come here.”

 

“Yeah, me too. But maybe we could get some dinner, first? I’m starving.” It had been a long day. They’d already eaten the lunches they’d brought with them.

 

“Do you want to go to the Hard Rock Café?” Jake teased. He knew that was J.C.’s favorite restaurant. “Maybe we’ll see your man there.”

 

“I wish. But sure, let’s go.”

 

After taking their orders, as Jake was handing the waitress back his menu, she said “It’s okay, J.C., I know you like collecting them. Keep it.”

 

“I’m not . . .I don’t want you to get in trouble with your boss.”

 

“It’s okay. I’ll pay for its replacement.”

 

“Um, thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

After she left, Jake looked to Kristen. “Do I really look that much like J.C.? She was flirting so hard, I thought she was going to offer to pay for our meal.”

 

“I don’t see it, but that’s the 2nd time today someone thought you were him. They must see something we don’t.”

 

“Apparently, but like you said, I don’t want to take advantage. What can I do aside from wearing a sign above my head that says “I’m not J.C.?”

 

“You can start by not accepting gifts meant for him.”

 

“Okay, after this no more gifts.”

 

“You’re enjoying this a little too much.”

 

 

 

JC went back to their email account to look for the one he’d read earlier in the week from Jake. Finding it, he responded, hoping that receiving a reply would make Jake’s day as much as he did reading it.

 

As he was writing it, the dream he’d had re-entered his mind.  He was still apprehensive about looking for his birth family without telling his parents, brother, and sister so he went to see them at their hotel.

 

Once again, Karen Chasez could tell something was wrong as soon as she opened the door and saw the look on her son’s face.

 

“Josh? What’s wrong?”

 

JC stared at the ground, playing with his fingers. “I need to talk to you, dad, Heather, and Tyler. Are they here?”

 

“Yeah, we’re here, what’s up?” asked Tyler.

 

“I – don’t really know where to start.”

 

“Why don’t you start at the beginning?” said Heather.

 

“Son, whatever it is, can’t be that bad. You know you can tell us anything, right?”

 

Roy Chasez put his arms around his oldest child, who was in tears, his body shaking.

 

“Is it about the group? You’re not having trouble with Jive already are you?”

 

“No, it’s not that. Everything’s fine. It’s  . . .um. . . .I got an email from a fan that said he liked our music and us because we’re like brothers; family and it made me think of us, too. But it also . . I’ve been thinking of searching for my birth family. Is that ok with you?” He still couldn’t figure out how to explain the dream. This was the best he could do.

 

His parents and sister looked shell shocked; like they’d been punched in the gut. This is what he was afraid of. Tyler was the first one to speak.

 

“Let’s back up for a minute. Did you say you read an email from a MALE fan? *NSYNC has those?”

 

J.C. laughed. “Apparently. It surprised me, too.”

 

“What does he have to do with you wanting to look for your birth family?”

 

“He said he was adopted, an only child, and it got me thinking of you and the guys, but something’s missing.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“I don’t know. I guess I’m just curious.”

 

“Your father and I have some basic information, if you want to start there. I can find it for you.”

 

J.C. hated the look on his mom’s face. It was one of hurt and betrayal and yet she was still willing to help him. He went over and hugged her.

 

“I love you so much. You’re not going to be able to get rid of me that easily, even if you want to.”

 

 

 

vv“Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Kristen come here!

 

“What?”

 

They were back home in California after spending a few days at Disney World and Universal Studios. They couldn’t go to Orlando and not see the places where *NSYNC honed their crafts (Disney for J.C. and Justin, Universal for Chris and Joey). This time they were hanging out at Kristen’s when Jake got the shock of his life.

 

“Look! Look! I –I J.C. emailed me back!”

 

“Yeah right,” she answered, rolling her eyes. “When did you email him?”

 

“Right before our trip. I emailed to show my support. I guess J.C. was the only one who saw it.”

 

Kristen was still skeptical.

 

She leaned over his shoulder and they read it together.

 

Dear Jake,

 

I read your email last week, but with everything going on, I’m just now getting back to responding. Sorry about that. I hope you understand.

 

It really brightened my spirits, which is why I came back and answered. You don’t know how much your support means to all of us. This is why we do what we do. This fight was for you.

 

JC

 

P.S. Don’t worry about your friends; they’ll come around. If not, just consider *NSYNC your honorary brothers.

 

“I hope this isn’t an imposter.”

 

“I knew you were going to say that.”

 

“I want to believe it’s him, but seeing how things went with you in Orlando. . . “

 

“What if it really is him? Should I write him back?”

 

“If you want. It couldn’t hurt.”

 

“What do I say?”

 

“I don’t know. Remember it’s a joint account so one of the other guys could read the next one. And it might take awhile to get another response, if you get one at all.

 

“Way to burst a guy’s bubble.”

 

“Sorry. I’m just trying to be realistic.”

 

Jake sighed. “I know.”

 

 

JC was sitting down with his parents, who had graciously brought him his adoption papers to look at. It was an open adoption, so he had his birth mother’s name, Kathleen Sawyer, but not his father’s.

 

There were also pictures. He could see some of his features in her. He also saw another baby in her arms in some of the pictures that looked identical to him.

 

“Mom, dad, do I have a twin?” If he did that would explain a lot.

 

“Yes, you do. Why?”

 

“He told them about his dream and how it had been bothering him.

 

“Do you know his name or where I could find him?”

 

“Unfortunately, no. She put him up for adoption first. She could only take care of one of you. We’d known her for awhile, so when it got too much for her to take care of you she asked us if we would adopt you.”

 

Why didn’t he remember any of this?

 

“If it was an open adoption why didn’t she ever come see me?”

 

“She did for awhile but when she saw how happy and well adjusted you were in your new surroundings she stopped because she didn’t want to confuse you. But the door has always been open for her.”

 

JC thought about that. What a selfless thing to do. Not only did she give up one child, but two, all so that they could have a better life. He wanted to meet her if for no other reason than to thank her.

 

After Kristen left, Jake went over to his bookshelf and took out his baby book. The front page read:

 

Jacob Scott Matthews

7 lbs 8 ounces 21 inches

Birthdate: August 8, 1976

Mother: Elizabeth Andrews

Father: Ronald Matthews

Methodist Memorial Hospital

Bowie, Maryland

 

After that, there were baby pictures with his parents and documentation of his first year: first bath, smile, tooth; the first time he crawled and walked, and, of course, his first birthday.

 

He thought there would be at least one picture of him with his birth mother, but there were none.  Was that because she hadn’t taken any with him or were his parents hiding them? Either scenario was too painful to think about.

 

The only reason they’d told him the first time was because he’d needed a bone marrow transplant four years ago after a relapse from his diagnosis of leukemia when he was ten and neither of them was a match.

 

Thankfully, Kristen was and donated some of hers. She truly was his lifesaver. He didn’t know what he’d do without her. Now he knew what he’d say to J.C. in his email.

 

Dear J.C.,

 

Of course I understand. Honestly, I wasn’t sure I’d hear from you at all. I was shocked when my best friend Kristen and I got back from Orlando and your email was waiting for me.  It brightened my day, too. (She would say differently, but whatever. I have dirt on her, too).

 

She’s a huge fan of yours (Justin’s my favorite, sorry). Do you mind emailing her? It would mean a lot to her and after all she’s done for me it’s the least I can do. (Long story). Here’s her email jscsgirl@aol.com Thanks. (She’s going to kill me when she finds out I gave this to you).

 

Jake

 

J.C. was still trying to process all of the information his parents had given him when he decided to take Justin up on his earlier offer to talk it out. Sure Chris was the oldest but he didn’t often act like it and besides he’d known Justin the longest.

 

Even before he could knock, the door opened and he came face to face with his other mother, Lynn Harless, Justin’s mom.

 

“Man, I have more of these than I realize and I’m looking for another one?” he thought silently to himself.

 

“Your mother called and told me what’s going on; I hope that’s okay. Do you want to talk?”

 

J.C. nodded his head yes as he walked into Justin’s hotel room. He went and sat on the bed, his head buried in his hands once again. Lynn put her arms around him. He tried to speak but nothing would come out.

 

“I didn’t mean to hurt them”, he finally said. “I’m just curious.”

 

“They know you love them. I think they were just surprised because you’d never mentioned it before.”

 

“I never wanted to look before. They always said they’d help if I did, and they are, but I can tell it’s tearing them apart. Heather looked shell shocked; Tyler seemed to take it well, but I think he’s defusing his feelings with humor.”

 

“Um, I hate to interrupt,” interjected Justin, “But I think I have something that might cheer you up.”

 

“Not now, Justin.”

 

“Seriously, J.C. You need to read this email. It seems like you’ve talked to this fan before. Maybe it will help.”

 

He walked over to the computer and looked at it. Kristen and Jake. Why do those names sound familiar? And they just got back from Orlando?

 

“Justin, do you still have that sign Lance gave you when we got back from the courthouse?”

 

“Yeah, why?”

 

“What was the name of the fan who gave it to you?”

 

“Jake.”

 

“Mine was Kristen. Look at this.”

 

He pointed to the computer screen.

 

“I think your sign is from Jake and mine is from Kristen. They just got back from Orlando, which means they must have been supporting us. It’s a stretch, I know, but . . .”

 

Justin was just happy to see J.C. happy. He knew J.C. had been stressed out these past couple of weeks but to what magnitude he had no idea until a few hours ago.

 

“Why don’t you go get your sign so we can take a picture with them, answer the email, and attach it to prove it’s us. They’ll get a kick out of that.”

 

“As will Joey, Chris and Lance when they find out we located your boyfriend and my fiancé.”

 

“We are NOT telling them.”

 

J.C.’s face fell when he realized he’d have to face his siblings in order to get the sign.

 

“We can go with you if you want.”

 

“No. I need to do this on my own, but thanks.”

 

This time it was Lynn who interrupted. “J.C., Heather and Tyler are here to talk to you.”

 

J.C. stood up to hug them, but Heather backed away.

 

“Don’t touch me. Aren’t we enough for you? Are we so bad you want to go out and replace us?”

 

“Heather no matter what, you and Tyler are still my baby brother and sister. I’m still your annoyingly, overprotective big brother. That will never change.”

 

“It already has,” said Tyler. “Forget about us. How could you do this to mom and dad?”

 

“Believe it or not, I didn’t want to do this to any of you. I tried my hardest to figure out a way not to hurt you. But I couldn’t. Mom and dad showed me pictures of her with me and said that she raised me until I was five, but I don’t remember any of that. I only remember them and you. Do you really think I want to give all that up? I just want to know why she abandoned me and my twin, that’s all.”

 

“There’s more than one of you? Great. Like we need a double dose.”

 

“Shut up, Justin.”

 

“Well, if there’s one person that understands how hard it is to live with you, it’s him”, teased Heather.

 

“Hey! Why am I feeling ambushed all of a sudden? Does this mean we’re okay now?” he asked his brother and sister.

 

“Yeah, we’re good.”

 

 

 

Jacob Scott Matthews! You did not do what I think you did. Did you?” Kristen came storming into his room.

 

“What did I do this time?”

 

“You know what you did. I got an email from J.C.!”

 

“Oh, that. Yeah, I gave it to him. You’re mad? I thought you’d be happy.”

 

“You know what my email is.”

 

“I told him you’d be mad about that. I also told YOU not to use that as your email.”

 

“Yeah? How’d you like it if I sent Justin pictures of your room?”

 

“You wouldn’t. He’d never get them.”

 

“Wouldn’t I? I never thought J.C. would get my email. Speaking of which, why don’t you check yours?” she teased.

 

As Kristen was taking pictures of his room, Jake opened his email only to see one from Justin!

 

Dear Jake,

 

 I hear you’re a big fan of ours. So much so that you came out to support us in Orlando for the trial. It was touch and go for a second, but when the verdict came down in our favor, and we walked out and saw all our fans, it meant the world to us. Always has and always will. We’ll never be able to repay you enough.

 

Justin

 

P.S. Lance did give us our signs. Here’s the picture my mom took to prove it. (Don’t worry. Kristen has one, too, so you don’t have to share)

 

Jake tried to open the attachment, but dial up always takes forever.

 

“Here, I printed you out a copy, too.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“How does it feel to talk to your crush?”

 

“You tell me. You got yours first.”

 

“I never would have gotten it at all if you hadn’t sent that first one to J.C.”

 

“I can’t believe Lance actually gave them the signs. Can you imagine the grief they probably got?”

 

“Which reminds me, we should probably get our pictures with him developed.”

 

“Yeah. We probably should.”

 

J.C. threw himself into work with a renewed vigor. Songs came out of him that he didn’t even realize were there. Heartache, love, family, identity; no topic was off limits.

 

As much as the guys loved his new enthusiasm, he was driving them crazy. He’d always had a crazy work ethic, but when it was coupled with his perfectionist personality he was unstoppable. That meant he wouldn’t let them stop. They were trying to be supportive because of everything going on with his family, but this was ridiculous.

 

“J.C., come on, we need a break.”

 

“We already had a break. Just give me a few more takes.”

 

“Tell you what. Why don’t we make a compromise?” suggested Justin. “We’ll do more takes if YOU take a break.”

 

Chris, Joey, and Lance gave him a look that could kill; J.C. gave him one of gratitude.

 

“Okay, thanks.”

 

“Yeah, thanks,” the others answered sarcastically.

 

 

 J.C. was trying to sleep, but nothing was working. His dream had returned except this time he was his current age, 24. The mirror was still there and he was still staring at his reflection, but he could see subtle differences in the faces thanks to the pictures he’d been given by his parents.

 

Suddenly, a thought crossed his mind. When they were outside the courthouse giving autographs he’d come across a fan who didn’t believe him when he told her he was J.C. because she’d already gotten an autograph from him.  The signature wasn’t exactly his, but close enough where he could understand why she didn’t believe him. Was there someone out there impersonating him? If so, who? And why?

 

Did his twin know about him and was already trying to take advantage of his fame? He hoped that wasn’t the case, but if he’d learned anything in the past year, it was that you never knew who you could trust. That scenario was entirely possible, unfortunately.

 

Instead of continuing his nap or the songs he’d begun, JC gathered all of the information he’d been given by his parents and started looking through it some more.

 

 

The pictures were what fascinated him the most. Not only did it give credence to his dreams, but he finally felt a connection, at least physically, to others that he didn’t in his own family. He never realized a void was there until now.

 

As he looked on the back of the picture of his biological mother holding him and his brother, he saw something he hadn’t before; their names, Joshua and Jacob Scott. He wondered if his brother still went by that name or if his parents had changed it to something else. He hoped not. That would give them something else in common, their initials, or at the very least, their middle name.

 

Then he saw what looked like an envelope with his name inscribed on it.

 

He opened it and began to read:

 

Dear Joshua,

I know you’re probably wondering where I’ve gone and why I’ve left you with Ms. Karen and Mr. Roy. The truth is, I can’t take care of you anymore. It’s not fair to keep moving you from place to place, taking you away from friends you’ve made each time we do. It breaks my heart to see you cry every time we leave. I want what’s best for you and so do they. You light up every time you see them, Heather, and Tyler. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I love you more than you’ll ever know.

 

Mommy

 

J.C. chocked back tears. She’d been right in her assessment and decision to give him away. How would she feel about him looking for and finding her? It was an open adoption, though. She had to suspect this might happen sooner or later.  

 

 

 Jake took the picture Kristen had printed out of J.C. and Justin and looked at himself in the mirror. He kept getting mistaken for J.C. in public but he still didn’t see the resemblance. He went back online to see if he could find out more on J.C.’s background other than what he already knew, but found nothing. It probably would have been easier to do this when Kristen was over, but oh well, he’ll ask her later.

 

For now, he focused on what he did know. Both he and J.C. had the same birthdate and hometown, but that was it. As far as he knew J.C. wasn’t adopted and if he was, he never talked about it.

 

What he really needed to do was start his search for his birth family. The problem was the only information he has was in his baby book. His parents had to have it somewhere. It would be so much easier if he could go to them and ask, but they made it clear they didn’t want him to know.

 

Maybe his medical records could help? He could get the ones from the hospital he was treated at, but would he be able to get the ones from the hospital he was born at? From what his parents told him it was a closed adoption so even if he went to the adoption agency he might not be able to find out much, if anything at all.

 

As he sat in his doctor’s waiting room, his nerves started creeping in. He couldn’t even bring it up with his parents and best friend. How was he going to approach the subject with his doctor? He reminded himself that he needed someone objective to talk and listen to him.

 

That’s when he heard his name. “Jake? Dr. Hamilton will see you now.”

 

“Jake? What brings you here?” his doctor asked as he was ushered inside the office.

 

“Well, I’m beginning to look for my birth family but don’t really have much to go on. I was hoping my medical records could help? I don’t need my parents’ permission to get copies of them do I?”

 

“No. As an adult, you can ask for them on your own. They’re usually held for up to seven years. You may be able to get copies earlier than that because of your treatment. Is there anything else?”

 

“No. Thank you.”

 

“If something else does come up, don’t hesitate to reach out again.”

 

“Ok. Thanks again.”

 

 

“You’re welcome.”

It took about two weeks, an eternity for Jake, but he finally had his medical records in his hands. Much to his surprise, they went all the way back to his infancy, because his parents had requested them when he first got sick. As he was going through them, there was a knock on his door.

 

“Come in.”

 

Ron Matthews poked his head through the door.

 

“Hi, son. May I come in? I have something for you.”

 

“Yeah, sure. What is it?”

 

“Something you’ve been asking me and your mother for, for years. Your adoption records.”

 

Jake’s eyes widened when his father handed them to him.

 

“What made you change your mind?”

 

“When you got sick we were terrified. Even more so after your relapse, because we knew there was no way we could help you. That’s a hard thing for a parent to grasp.”

 

“You could have told me.”

 

“We were scared we were going to lose you, just like we are now. But you deserve to know.”

 

“You’re not losing me. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

 

“It doesn’t feel that way. Ever since we told you, we’ve felt like you’ve been slowly slipping away from us. Maybe we should have been more open with you, but your biological mother made it clear she wanted no contact at all. We were trying to respect her wishes and protect you at the same time. The only thing she asked was that we not change your name.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“She named you, we didn’t.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes. There’s something else I have to give you.”

 

He pulled out an envelope with Jacob’s name on it.

 

“She wanted us to give this to you when we thought you were ready.”

 

My Dearest Jacob,

 

I don’t know where to begin except to say that I love you very much. It’s breaking my heart to have to give you away, especially since I’m keeping your brother. Please know that it’s not your fault. I just can’t take care of both of you right now. I wish I could. I know you probably have a million questions, so I left instructions with the adoption agency to unseal your records on your 21st birthday, just in case you want to look for me. Maybe we’ll both be ready by then.

 

Love,

 

Mommy

 

P.S. Here are some pictures of me with you and your brother, Joshua.

 

Jake couldn’t believe it. He had a brother! Not only that, he had a twin brother! She was right about one thing. He had so many questions. How could she give him away and keep his brother? Where was his brother? Had he grown up in Maryland or another state like Jacob had? Did he have brothers and sisters or was he an only child, too? Did she have any more children?

 

“Jake are you okay?”

 

He immediately started crying and handed his father the letter and pictures. “No.”

 

“I’m so sorry, Jake.”

 

“How could she keep him and give me away? Why would she think I’d want to meet her after finding that out?”

 

“At least now you have closure.”

 

Except he didn’t feel like he did.

 

 

Kathleen Sawyer. JC stared at the name on the piece of paper in front of him. That was the name on the adoption papers his parents had given him. It had her former address and phone number, too. 

 

When he’d spoken to the owners of her house they said they hadn’t seen or spoken to her since they bought it. Why would they? Her phone number had been changed as well.

 

Since they were on a brief break from recording, he was back home in Maryland to spend time with family. He hoped he could find her in the white pages, if she even still lived there.

 

Much to J.C.’s surprise, there were several Kathleen Sawyers in Maryland. Where was he supposed to start? Should he pick at random or go down the line? Either way, what was he going to say?

 

“Hi, I’m Josh. I think you gave me up for adoption 20 years ago. Would you like to meet?” That sounded a little creepy to him.

 

“She doesn’t live here anymore.”

 

J.C. turned around to see his mother standing at the door.

 

“Where does she live?”

 

“Florida.”

 

“What part of Florida?”

 

“Orlando.”

 

“Orlando? All this time I’ve been living in the same city as her and you didn’t tell me?”

 

“She didn’t want us to.”

 

“How long has she lived there and how long have you known?”

 

“Five years ago when her job transferred her. She called to let us know so we wouldn’t be shocked if we saw her in town.”

 

“Why -?”

 

“*NSYNC was already in Europe touring. You were gone for two years. There was no need to tell you.”

 

Now J.C. was the one that felt hurt and betrayed. How could his parents have kept a secret like that from him? A whole new wave of emotions washed over him. He didn’t know what to think anymore. If he couldn’t trust his parents, who could he trust?

 

“We were trying to protect you Josh.”

 

It didn’t seem that way to him.

 

 

Jake knew he owed his mother an apology. He wasn’t sure what to say to her, but it was a conversation that was long overdue. He decided to surprise her at work with lunch.

 

“This is nice. What brings you here?” Liz Matthews looked up and smiled at her son.

 

“I can’t spend time with my mom now?”

 

“Of course you can. You just haven’t been doing much of that lately.”

 

“I know. I’m sorry about that. I came to apologize.”

 

“You brought all of my favorites. What did you do to warrant all of this?”

 

I hurt you and dad in ways I never intended to. I was selfish and only thought of my feelings without taking others into account. “

 

They both knew what he was talking about without either saying a word.

 

“It’s not only your fault. We should have told you earlier.”

 

“You were trying to protect me. I understand that now.”

 

“Are you going to look for her? Your father told me about the letter and pictures.”

 

“I’m not sure. I don’t know if I want to anymore.”

 

“We’ll be on your side no matter what decision you make.”

 

“Thanks, mom. I love you.”

 

“I love you, too, Jake.”

 

If his friends thought he was bad BEFORE their break, that was nothing compared to how he was AFTER it. J.C. was an absolute terror both in and out of the studio.

 

They tried to get him to open up about what was wrong but that just made him close off even more. When they reached out to his family they were told they didn’t want to violate his privacy and he’d have to tell them himself.

 

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to them, he just didn’t know how. He felt lost and didn’t know who to turn to. So he turned to the only thing he could trust: music.

 

Lost

 

Lost in a world all my own

With no one to call

No where to turn

Who can I turn to

I feel all alone

 

Everything is falling apart

Especially my heart

Crumbling into a million pieces

How do I put it back together when I feel so lost

 

Lost in a world all my own

With no one to call

No where to turn

Who can I turn to

I feel all alone

 

No friends, no family

They don’t understand

What it’s like to be me

In a foreign land

I need guidance

But I cannot see

Could it be

Right in front of me

 

Chorus

 

Please someone help me

I don’t know what to do

Who do I turn to

I’m afraid of what I might find

Of who I am now

Of what I’ve left behind

 

Unbeknownst to him, J.C. had a studio audience listening to his recording session. He saved it for later and walked out of the studio.

 

“J.C. do you?”

 

“No.”

 

“Are you sure? It might help.”

 

“No!”

 

“Do you mind playing it for us?”

 

“Yes, I do. That’s not going to happen.”

 

“Why?”

 

“It’s private.”

 

“You recorded it in a public studio.”

 

“That’s because I can’t afford one of my own yet.”

 

The look on JC’s face indicated that they needed to drop the subject or there would be hell to pay and no one wanted that. Whatever was bothering him was something he needed to work out on his own.

 

His biological mother lived in Orlando. And his parents kept it from him. For five years. They gave him her contact information in case he wanted to use it, but should he?

 

He didn’t want to call her out of the blue. His mom said they were asked not to tell him when she moved there. He was sure there was a reason for that. Maybe she was trying to protect both his and her privacy? Did he really want to interrupt that?

 

But his curiousness got the best of him. Especially since they lived so close. He didn’t think he could go on tour with his mind as unsettled as it was. He had to try.

 

J.C. hesitated as he picked up the phone to call her. A male voice answered.

 

“Hello?”

 

J.C. froze. He wasn’t expecting this. But he pulled together his composure and responded.

 

“Um, hi. My name is Josh. I’m looking for Kathleen Sawyer?”

 

“She’s not here right now. I’m her husband Michael. Is there something I can help you with?”

 

“No. Well, actually, can you give her this number and tell her I’m in town for the next two weeks if she wants to talk or meet up?”

 

“Why do you need to meet or talk to my wife?” he asked quizzically.

 

“I wish I could answer that but I can’t. You’ll have to ask her.”

 

Michael sounded even more confused by J.C.’s reply, but agreed to pass the message along anyway.

 

A few days later he got a phone call from her asking to meet for lunch. She had the same brown hair and cobalt eyes as he did and a similar cheek structure. He recognized her right away. She didn’t see him, so he slowly walked over to the table where she was sitting, waiting for him.

 

“Kathleen?”

 

She looked up and met his eyes. “Josh?”

 

They both smiled at one another. “Hi. It’s nice to meet you.”

 

“You haven’t been waiting for me long have you?” J.C. asked.

 

He always tried to be punctual wherever he went, whether it was personal or professional and hated when people were late to meet him.

 

“No. I just got here myself.” Kathleen answered.

 

J.C. sat down as a waitress came over and handed them menus.

 

“I was surprised to get your phone call. I follow your career. I know how busy you’ve been lately.”

 

It was nice to hear that she cared; even if it was from a distance.

 

“I wasn’t sure whether I should. Things have been kind of upended in my family since I decided to start looking for you. I didn’t want to do that to you and your family. I didn’t. Did I?” he asked apprehensively.

 

“Unintentionally, yes. I hadn’t told my husband or children about you or Jacob. He was upset, but my children are excited to have two older brothers.”

 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to . . .I wanted to tell him when we spoke, but didn’t feel like it was my place.”

 

“You were right to do that. Don’t be sorry. I should have told him a long time ago.”

 

“Why didn’t you?”

 

“That was a tough time in my life. I wanted to keep you both, but I knew I wasn’t capable of doing so. Things were hard even when it was just the two of us. Putting you in Roy and Karen’s care was the best thing I could have done for you. And it looks like they raised you well.”

 

J.C. smiled. “They did. Thank you. May I ask you something? My mom said you raised me until I was five but I have no memory of you. The only pictures I have are the ones with my adoption papers and the letter you left me.”

 

“As I’m sure your parents have told you by now, I came to visit you a few times after they adopted you, but after awhile it got too painful, and so I stopped. Another reason I stopped coming around was because it would confuse you when I did. You weren’t sure whether to call me or Karen mommy and whoever you did call that would hurt the other.”

 

That made sense. JC hadn’t thought about that.

 

“I kept a memory book so that I’d have something to look at when I missed you. I go through it mostly on your birthday. I had it duplicated just in case you wanted one.”

 

JC slowly opened the wrapped box that had been handed to him. Inside he found a white book with the word MEMORIES on it. On one hand he wanted to open it right then and there; on the other he wanted to do so in private. He decided to wait.

 

Thank you for this. It really means a lot that you would do this for me.”

 

“You’re welcome. I was glad to do it and happy that you’d accept the gift. I wasn’t sure if you’d want it.”

 

“Can we keep in touch?” J.C. asked sheepishly. “I might be able to call sometimes, but not a lot since we’ll be overseas first and that can get expensive. I’m horrible at email, but I’d like to try.”

 

“Of course you can. I’d love that. Do you . . .May I have a hug?”

 

 

J.C. obliged and gave her a hug before they parted ways once again.

 

It took Jake weeks to wrap his head around everything that had happened. So much had changed and he couldn’t figure out if that was a good or bad thing.

 

He was conflicted as to whether he should continue to look for his birth mother and twin brother he never knew he had. Maybe he should only look for one? But how could he choose between them?

 

Wait a minute. He went and got the pictures that he had been left along with the letter. On the back of the pictures were the names Jacob and Joshua Scott.

 

That was also what his biological mother referred to his brother as in the letter she had written him. He knew that J.C.’s middle name was Scott. Could it be? If it was, that would explain a lot.

 

He called Kristen and asked her to come over so he could update her on everything that had been going on. When she got there and he told her his theory, she was floored.

 

“You mean you could be J.C.’s TWIN?

 

“That would explain why I keep getting mistaken for him.”

 

“Yeah. But he’s never said he was adopted.”

 

“Maybe he doesn’t want the public to know. It’s none of their business anyway.”

 

“What about me? I AM his future wife.”

 

“Oh please.” Jake rolled his eyes. “Seriously, though. Can you help me figure out what to do?”

 

“Well, she said she had your records unsealed, right? Start there. Even if you’re only looking for one of them you could get more information on the other one.”

 

Jake thought about that for a moment. It made sense. The problem was he only wanted to find his brother, but in order to do that he had to look for his mother, too. She said she wanted to be found, but what if he didn’t?

 

 

If it was J.C., he’d probably want to keep it private, especially with everything going on with *NSYNC. The last thing Jake wanted to do was turn J.C.’s private life into public tabloid fodder.

As soon as J.C. got back he was bombarded with questions.

 

“Where were you?”

 

“I went out to lunch.”

 

“With who? Anyone we know?”

 

“No.”

 

“What’s in the bag?” Chris tried to pry it out of his hands, but J.C. clung to it tightly. He really wanted to talk to his family first, but he knew the guys wouldn’t let up, so he relented and told them to sit down.

 

“Uh oh. Are we in trouble?”

 

“No. First, I want to apologize for being such an ass lately. I didn’t mean to take my frustrations out on you.”

 

“We understand.”

 

“No you don’t. Even if you did, that was no excuse for the way I’ve been treating you.”

 

“So what’s been going on?”

 

“When we went home on break, I found out that my biological mom lives here, in Orlando, and has for the past five years.”

 

“WHAT?” They all echoed in unison.

 

“Since it was an open adoption, my parents still keep in touch with her occasionally, so they gave me her contact information, just in case I wanted to use it. She’s who I had lunch with today.”

 

“Whoa.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“A little. I still have questions, but we’re going to try to keep in touch.”

 

“How does your family feel about this?”

 

“I haven’t talked to them yet since I was cornered as soon as I walked through the door.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“It’s okay. I wanted to tell you, I just didn’t know how.”

 

“That song you were recording the other day. Is this what it was about?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Now the lyrics make sense.”

 

“Guys? Can I have some privacy? I need to think things through.”

 

“Oh, yeah. Sure. If you need anything, just come find us.”

 

“I will. Thanks for listening.”

 

“Anytime. That’s what family is for.”

 

Family. J.C. was finding that he had a bigger family than he realized. When he was finally alone he looked at the gift that Kathleen had given him.

 

There were the pictures that he already had, plus ones on each of his birthdays, playing at the park with friends he didn’t remember, another of him with a dog. When did he have a dog?

 

Kathleen had captions on the back of all of them, so that helped, but it looked like they were from someone else’s life, not his.

 

Then, he thought, they were someone else’s life. These were her memories. He had no recollection of them. He was Karen and Roy’s son, not Kathleen’s.

 

If he was feeling this way, what about his brother? At least there was some type of evidence that they did have a relationship. But, it was Jacob, right? He had none.

 

J.C.’s parents had told him Jacob’s adoption was closed and that he had been given up at birth. What if Jacob was looking for his birth family, too, and had found out that she had kept him? If he were Jacob, he’d be upset when he found that out.

 

Jake decided that he wanted to know more, but was unprepared for what he found. He thought she’d kept his brother, but there were adoption papers for him, as well. Unlike Jake’s adoption, it was open, meaning that they had a relationship. He felt cheated.

 

 

J.C. couldn’t sleep. Through a lot of blood, sweat, and tears they’d done it. No Strings Attached was finished and would be released tomorrow. They’d be celebrating the launch with an appearance on Total Request Live, singing the first single “Bye, Bye, Bye” and doing an interview with Carson Daly.

 

 He knew the fans were clamoring for it. At least that’s what they were told by their record label. If the show of support they’d been given at the courthouse was any indication, fans would be out in droves tomorrow. Still, he was nervous. The success or failure of this album could make or break their career. If it failed, then what would they do?

 

Suddenly, there was a knock on his door. “J.C.? It’s Lance. Can we talk?”

 

J.C. opened the door for his younger band mate. “What’s up?”

 

“I can’t sleep. I’m too nervous about tomorrow.”

 

“Me too.”

 

“What if it flops?”

 

“I don’t think that’s going to happen. Our fans seem to be even more enthusiastic than we are. We might not break the Backstreet Boys’ record, but it definitely won’t flop.”

 

“You think so?”

 

“I know so. We’ll be okay. You’ll see.”

 

“Thanks for the talk J.C.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

J.C. just hoped that what he told Lance would turn out to be the truth.

 

They couldn’t believe it. The crowd outside of Times Square for Total Request Live was so massive that MTV could barely contain them in or outside of the studio. *NSYNC’s fans had been camped out for hours, some overnight, some for the past week once the date of the album release and their appearance on TRL were announced.

 

They really did have the best fans in the world.

 

“What does it feel like to see a crowd like this?” asked Carson Daly.

 

“Unbelievable,” answered Justin.

 

“Amazing,” said Lance.

 

“Humbling.” J.C. managed to find the right words to describe what he was feeling. It truly was humbling.

 

“Hopefully, the album lives up to their expectations. We worked really hard and want them to enjoy it.” Lance added.

 

“And buy lots of copies!” exclaimed Chris.

 

Everyone laughed.

 

“That, too!” smiled Joey.

 

Jake and Kristen couldn’t believe it. They had actually managed to get inside of the MTV studio and get seats good enough to see *NSYNC’s performance and interview. They were sitting behind them, but still. That was better than nothing. And they were closer than they’d been in Orlando.

 

As *NSYNC was being interviewed Kristen began to glance between J.C. and Jake. Looking at J.C. up on the screen and Jake sitting next to her, she suddenly saw what everyone else did when they mistook Jake for J.C. They had the same eyes, cheek structure, lanky build, hand gestures and even the same haircut, not to mention hair color. It was almost like they were . . . twins. Identical twins.

 

How had she not seen it before? It was so obvious to her now. Should she tell him what she thought, knowing his theory about his adoption? If she did what would his reaction be? She didn’t want him barging up to J.C. afterwards to confront him about it. But if she said nothing what kind of best friend would she be? She didn’t want him mad at her either.

 

Thankfully, she was distracted when she heard Lance say,

 

 

“We want to reward our biggest fans with a contest to meet us backstage at one of our concerts on the upcoming tour. All they have to do is show us the craziest way they’ve supported us, whether it’s their room decorations, following us on tour, whatever. Anything that shows just what a die-hard fan they are, along with a letter explaining why they think they should be chosen. They’ll be five winners, in five different cities. You can only enter once, though. No double dipping.”

 

“What cities are eligible?” asked Carson.

 

“Baltimore, Maryland, Green Bay, Wisconsin, Memphis, Tennessee, Las Vegas, Nevada, and Los Angles, California.”

 

“You mean there won’t be one in Orlando?”

 

“Not right now. We want to see how well the album and tour do first, then we’ll come up with some other contests,” answered Joey.

 

“All right, *NSYNC fans. You have your assignment. Lets see just how devoted you are to them. Show us what you got!” teased Carson. “The number one video on the countdown today is the song you just saw them perform, “Bye, Bye, Bye”.

 

As the video ran on the screen and they were being ushered out, fans swarmed them to try to get autographs and pictures. Jake was among them, but Kristen pulled him back.

 

“Kris, what are you doing? They’re right in front of us!”

 

“I know. I need to talk to you, first.”

 

“RIGHT NOW? It can’t be that important!”

 

“It is. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

 

“You better.”

 

When Justin was signing autographs and taking pictures he thought he saw someone in the crowd that looked like they could be J.C.’s double. He’d almost come over to meet them, but another fan pulled him back. Justin wasn’t sure why. Weren’t they there to meet them? Justin thought about doubling back but by the time he did, they were gone.

 

 

“Okay, what was so important that you kept us from meeting our idols? The whole reason we’re here?”

 

“I think J.C’s your twin,” Kristen answered bluntly.

 

“What?”

 

“I think J.C.’s your twin,” she repeated.

 

“I was watching him during their interview. You guys have the same color eyes, cheek structure, height, hand movements. If Justin wasn’t your favorite and you were wearing the brown outfit you packed instead of the baby blue one today, you’d have been dressed the same too.”

 

“I don’t believe you.”

 

“I set my VCR to tape it today, since I knew we’d be here and would want to watch it back. I’ll show you when we get home. And then we can enter that contest.”

 

“Oh no. You’re going to make me send in those pictures of my room aren’t you?”

 

“You’re going to have to if you want to win. If you tell them your story and how we’ve travelled to see them, not to mention your getting mistaken for JC, there’s no way you can’t win.”

 

“Can’t you enter with me?”

 

“I would, but as you continuously point out to me I’m a BSB fan, too, and that’s treason.”

 

“You throw that in my face now? Fine friend you are.”

 

Justin wasn’t sure what to do. J.C.’s adoption and meeting with his birth mother was still a touchy subject within the group, and he knew with JC’s family, as well. What was he going to say?

 

“I think I saw your twin brother at TRL today?”

 

He knew J.C. was still looking for him, but . . .

 

“Justin, are you okay? You’ve seemed a little dazed since we left TRL.”

 

J.C. would be the one to ask him that. Justin sighed.

 

“I, yeah. J.C.? May I ask you something?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Are you still looking for your twin brother?”

 

“Yeah, why?”

 

“I think I may have seen him in the crowd today.”

 

“Huh?” There was confusion written all over JC’s face.

 

“When we were leaving, I saw a fan that looked, well, like he could be your twin. He almost came over to meet us, but another fan pulled him back. I tried to go back before we left, but they’d already disappeared.”

 

“Why didn’t you say something then?”

 

“I wasn’t sure. And if it was your twin it’s not like you could have talked then. We had other places to be. Maybe he’ll enter the contest.”

 

“That’s only if he lives in one of the cities we named.”

 

“Is it possible he still lives in Maryland?”

 

“I don’t know. Kathleen doesn’t and neither do I. For all I know he and his family could have moved out of state right after we were born.” J.C. sighed in frustration.

 

“Is there any way for you to find out?”

 

“I don’t think so. His was a closed adoption. Mine was open.”

 

“Maybe Kathleen opened it at some point? Just in case he wanted to find her? You still keep in touch right? Ask her the next time you talk.”

 

J.C. supposed he could do that, but his relationship with Kathleen was still new and he didn’t want to burn any bridges.

 

 

“I’ll have to think about it. Thanks, Justin.”

No sooner had they gotten home then Jake demanded they watch the episode that Kristen had taped. When he looked at J.C., really looked, he could see that she was right. He looked just like J.C.

 

The only thing they didn’t appear to have in common was singing. J.C.’s voice was flawless, while Jake couldn’t hold a tune even if his life depended on it.

 

And he’d tried. He’d always loved music it just didn’t seem to love him back. He’d had voice, piano, and dance lessons growing up, but nothing took.  

 

That didn’t stop him from being a fan of it, though. He absorbed as much of it as he could, especially when he got sick. He had to do something when he was alone and bored in the hospital.

 

That’s what he wrote in his letter in addition to sending the pictures of his room, the emails he’d exchanged with JC and Justin, meeting Lance at the courthouse, and getting mistaken for J.C. in public. He left out the part about being adopted and sharing a birthday. He didn’t want to freak them out too much.

 

 

They’d done it. *NSYNC had beaten the Backstreet Boys’ record of most albums sold in a week with 2.4 million copies sold!

 

“And you said we wouldn’t break the record!” Lance teased J.C.

 

“Honestly, I wasn’t sure. I did say it wouldn’t flop though!” He laughed.

 

“Yeah, but this is crazy!” answered Chris.

 

“Let’s go celebrate!” shouted Joey.

 

And celebrate they did. Jive had decided to throw them a party to end all parties when they got the final tallies that week.

 

Destiny’s Child, Britney Spears, Aaliyah, and TLC were among the artists to celebrate with them. Everyone that contributed to No Strings Attached were there also, as well as their families and some close friends.

 

It was all so overwhelming, J.C. could barely take it all in. His dreams really were coming true. There was only one person who was missing; his twin brother.

 

J.C. wasn’t sure why Jacob popped up in his mind then. Maybe he subconsciously wished they could be sharing this milestone together?

 

He’d already spoken to Kathleen earlier that day when she’d called to congratulate him. She told him that her two daughters, his half sisters, Emily and Amanda, had made sure to buy multiple copies to help *NSYNC out.

 

He thought that was sweet even though their favorites were Chris and Joey. He’d taken Justin’s advice and asked her about Jacob’s adoption records.

 

He was happy when she told him she’d had them unsealed, but he could tell she was sad Jacob hadn’t contacted her. J.C. reassured her that if he found Jacob he’d let him know she wanted a reunion.

 

Jake and Kristen were ecstatic when they heard No Strings Attached had beaten Black and Blue by the Backstreet Boys.

 

“I guess this means you’ve left the dark side and returned to the force? Do you want me to give you back your light saber?” Jake teased her.

 

“Shut up. You know I hate Star Wars. I just tolerate it because you love the movies so much.”

 

“Which is why I tolerated *NSYNC and look where that got us.”

 

They were both quiet.

 

“Have you looked yet?” she asked.

 

“I want to, but I’m scared. What if it’s not him? What if it is and he doesn’t want to be found?”

 

“What if it IS him and he DOES want to be found? Have you at least entered the contest?”

 

“Yeah. I sent in everything, along with the letter. I skipped the part about the adoption and birthday. I didn’t want to freak them out anymore than they’re already going to be.”

 

Kristen laughed. “That was probably smart. We don’t want them thinking you’re a stalker or anything.”

 

“Except they probably will.” Jake responded.

 

 

“Oh my god. I think I found the winner for L.A. Guys, come look at this.”

 

 

 

*NSYNC’S manager, Johnny Wright, was going through the entries for the contest when he came across one that couldn’t be ignored.

 

 

 

“What is it?” they asked, walking over to him.

 

 

 

When they saw the pictures they couldn’t believe their eyes.

 

 

 

This fan had a picture with Lance, emails exchanged between him, Justin and JC, including a picture they’d apparently sent him of them holding up signs he’d made, and photos of his bedroom which were plastered with posters of Justin everywhere they looked. Then Johnny read the letter:

 

 

 

Dear *NSYNC,

 

 

 

HI. I’m not really sure how to start this. I became a fan of yours through my best friend, Kristen. She loves you guys and kind of dragged me into the fandom with her.

 

 

 

We’ve been friends since kindergarten and have been through everything together. When I was ten I was diagnosed with leukemia and lost most of my friends because I was in and out of the hospital so much. I went into remission, but four years ago I relapsed and needed a bone marrow transplant.

 

 

 

No one in my family was a match, but Kristen was and she donated her bone marrow to me. She’s literally my lifesaver. I would do anything to pay her back.

 

 

 

That included watching your Disney Special with her over and over again. After awhile, I began to fall in love with your music, too. When you decided to leave Transcontinental we flew down to support you during the trial.

 

 

 

That’s where we met Lance and gave him the signs to give to Justin and J.C., our favorites. As you can see from the pictures of my room, Justin is mine, however, I’ve been mistaken for J.C. several times.

 

 

 

I was even asked by a fan for an autograph outside of the courthouse. I didn’t want to give it to her, but didn’t want to disappoint her either. Sorry, J.C. I promise I won’t do it again.

 

 

 

When you were on TRL the day that No Strings Attached came out, Kristen and I were there. We were sitting behind you, but it didn’t matter. That was the closest we’ve gotten to you so far.

 

 

 

Music and her friendship are what have gotten me through both the good and bad times, but especially the bad ones.

 

 

 

It would mean the world to me if I could meet you even if it’s only once. I’m an only child and like I said to J.C. in one of my emails, you’re like brothers to me.

 

 

 

Anyway, thank you for taking the time to read and consider this.

 

 

 

Sincerely,

 

 

 

Jake Matthews

 

 

 

“I remember meeting him and Kristen,” Lance said. “They were so upset. They’d just missed you.”

 

 

 

“That was who I saw that day at TRL. Remember I told you about that JC?” Justin asked.

 

 

 

“Yeah. Unfortunately, he’s not eligible.”

 

 

 

“Why not?” asked Joey and Chris.

 

 

 

“He’s my brother.”

 

 

 

“What?”

 

 

 

J.C. looked at Justin.

 

 

 

“Remember when you asked me if I could ask Kathleen about his adoption records? If she’d had them unsealed? I did and she said she had. So I searched for him and found a Jacob Scott Matthews who was born on August 8, 1976 in Bowie, Maryland, but grew up in Los Angeles, California with his parents Elizabeth and Ronald Matthews.”

 

 

 

“I told you he’d enter the contest.” Said Justin.

 

 

 

“Yeah, but . . .”

 

 

 

“But nothing. Right now he’s not your brother. He’s a fan of ours who entered a contest wanting to meet his favorite group.” Joey responded.

 

 

 

“J.C. this is the chance for you to meet him in an informal setting without any expectations. I’m his favorite anyway remember? Let Kristen fawn over you and afterwards you and Jake can get to know each other better, if that’s what you want.”

 

 

 

Chris cut in then. “Johnny, send Jake a letter informing him he’s won the contest. J.C.’s been vetoed. Jake deserves these tickets.”

 

 

 

J.C. tried to object, but Chris wasn’t having it.

 

 

 

“I’m the oldest here. What I say goes and that’s final.”

 

 

 

JC nodded in defeat. “Okay.”

 

 

 

Jake stared at the envelope in his hands. The name on the return address read Jive Records. That could only mean one thing. *NSYNC. Either he’d won or lost the contest. Regardless, at least he tried. Too nervous to open it himself, he called Kristen over for moral support.

 

 

 

“Here, open it for me.”

 

 

 

“Are you sure?”

 

 

 

“Yes. Please? I’m too nervous.”

 

 

 

“There’s no need to be nervous.”

 

 

 

“Yes there is.”

 

 

 

“Okay. Okay. I’ll open it.”

 

 

 

Dear Jake,

 

 

 

Congratulations! You’re our winner for the Los Angeles, CA Concert and Backstage Pass Meet & Greet! Here are two front row tickets and V.I.P. passes for you and a friend. Can’t wait to see you at the show!

 

 

 

Thanks for your support!

 

 

 

Chris, Lance, Joey, Justin and JC

 

 

 

“You’re taking me with you, right?” Kristen asked.

 

 

 

“Of course, I’m taking you! Who else would go with me?”

 

 

 

“Uh, Jake? I think there’s something else in here.”

 

 

 

“What is it?”

 

 

 

“It looks like a letter.”

 

 

 

Handing it to him, she was going to leave so he could read it alone, but he stopped her.

 

 

 

“No. Please stay.”

 

 

 

“Don’t you want to read it in private?”

 

 

 

“No.”

 

 

 

Jake’s hands began to shake as he started reading.

 

 

 

Dear Jake,

 

 

 

Wow. I don’t know how to start this letter anymore than you did writing yours to us, or the emails you sent to me. I remember you saying that you were an only child and hated it.

 

 

 

I went to bed the night I read that, thankful for my relationships with my siblings, because I had begun to take them for granted.

 

 

 

I’m going to tell you something that I don’t talk about a lot with the media or our fans. Like you, I’m adopted and until recently had no interest in looking for my birth family.

 

 

 

 Around the time I got your first email I had begun to get curious and started looking. It was hard for my family to accept and I felt guilty for hurting them.

 

 

 

However, they were supportive and helped me in any way they could. That ultimately led me to finding my birth mother and the twin brother I never knew I had. You.

 

 

 

I know this is a lot to take in, so I’ll end it here, but I wanted to give you a heads up before we meet at the concert. Please bring Kristen with you. We’re all anxious to meet her.

 

 

 

 Oh, and I have tickets and passes for your parents under my name, in case they want to come, too. My parents will be there as well.

 

 

 

See you soon.

 

 

 

Josh

 

 

 

Neither one of them could believe it. Not only had J.C. been adopted, but he and Jake were twin brothers. Suspecting it was one thing; finding out the truth was something completely different.

 

 

 

Jake brought it to his parents’ attention at dinner that night when he told them he’d won the contest.

 

 

 

Though they wanted their son to have his time with his favorite group, they were also anxious to meet his extended family and were grateful for the invitation to the show.

 

J.C.’s jitters were getting to him more than usual. Not even their pre show ritual of hackey sack was helping clear his mind.

 

 

 

“It’s just another show. He’s just another fan.” JC tried to convince himself. Only it wasn’t. Not to him.

 

 

 

“Shake it off, Josh. You can do this.” He thought to himself.

 

 

 

That’s when he felt someone tap him on the shoulder.

 

 

 

He turned around to see Heather and Tyler.

 

 

 

“What -? I thought you weren’t coming?”

 

 

 

They’d been hurt when he’d told them he’d found Jake; even more so when they found out Jake had won the contest.

 

 

 

“We changed our minds. If there’s any time you needed us to be there for you it’s now. We couldn’t let you go through this alone. Not after all the times you’ve been there for us.”

 

 

 

“Thanks Tyler. That means so much to me.”

 

 

 

“Now go out there and kick some butt!” Heather laughed.

 

 

 

J.C. laughed at his sister before hugging her and his brother as he went to take his place on stage.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“That show was amazing!”

 

“I thought you were going to pass out when J.C. licked the stage during Digital Get Down. Especially since he looked at you while he did it.” Jake teased Kristen.

 

“I thought so, too. Are you sure I’m still breathing? I think I died and went to heaven when he did that.”

 

“What about Justin during ‘God Must Have Spent’ when they floated into the audience? I think he was singing to me.”

 

“Uh huh. Sure he was.” Kristen laughed.

 

That’s when someone from security came to usher them backstage.  Now they were nervous. What would they say when they came face to face with *NSYNC? This was their dream, but now that it was coming true they weren’t sure how to react.

 

Chris was the first to see them. “Ho-ly shit.” He said glancing between J.C. and Jake. “There really are two of you. And you look exactly alike.”

 

“Duh, Chris. Identical twins usually do.” Joey smirked.

 

“You’ll have to excuse him. He was dropped on his head as a child and has never recovered.” Lance chimed in. “They both were. Did you enjoy the show?”

 

“Yes.” They answered in unison.

 

“What was your favorite part?” asked J.C.

 

“Digital Get Down,” blushed Kristen.

 

“This I Promise You,” answered Jake.

 

“We can sing it a cappella for you if you want,” offered Justin.

 

“Really?” Jake’s face lit up.

 

“Sure. And anything else you want. ‘For The Girl Who Has Everything’ and ‘Tearin’ Up My Heart’, maybe?” teased Lance.

 

They both blushed in embarrassment.

 

“Speaking of which, Justin and I have something for you.”

 

J.C. handed Kristen her sign autographed with his signature. Justin did the same with Jake.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Do you mind autographing our copies of No Strings Attached and Home For Christmas?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“And these posters and tour books?”

 

“You came prepared huh?”

 

“We didn’t know if we’d get this chance again. Honestly, we weren’t sure we’d be able to sneak all of this stuff in.”

 

“How much other stuff do you have?”

 

“Not much,” answered Jake. “Mom and dad made us pick just a few things so you wouldn’t be here all night autographing everything we own. No pun intended.”

 

“And yet you just made two.” Laughed Joey.

 

“I didn’t mean to!”

 

“Don’t worry, J.C. does it all the time. We’re used to it.” Chris replied.  “I guess you have that in common.”

 

“Yeah, I guess we do,” Jake and J.C. answered together.

 

“Well, that didn’t take long.”

 

J.C. looked in the direction the voice came from, directly behind Jake, who turned to introduce his parents.

 

“These are my parents, Liz and Ron Matthews.”

 

“It’s nice to meet you. These are my parents, Roy and Karen, my brother Tyler and my sister Heather.”

 

Everyone exchanged pleasantries before Jake asked, “Do I call you J.C. or Josh now? You signed your letter Josh.”

 

“I’m Josh to my family and you’re family so you can call me that, unless it makes you uncomfortable or you’d rather still call me J.C.”

 

“Ok. Um before I forget, I have something for you. When we were in Orlando, Kristen and I went to eat at the Hard Rock Café there. Our waitress thought I was you and let me keep the menu. I thought you’d want to have it.”

 

J.C. laughed and smiled. “You were really milking it for all it was worth huh? No you can have it. She gave it to you.”

 

“I wasn’t trying to. Neither of us saw it then. I tried to give it back, but she insisted.”

 

“Like the fan outside the courthouse?” J.C. questioned. “I ran into her and she told me I was an imposter.”

 

“See! I told you that could happen!” Kristen screamed.

 

“I didn’t mean – I didn’t want to do it, but I didn’t want to disappoint her, either. Then Kristen pointed out how upset I would have been if that had been a Justin imposter, but by then it was too late.”

 

“I think you mentioned that in your contest entry. It all started to come to me when I saw her. I was hoping you weren’t trying to take advantage. I’m glad you weren’t.”

 

“After what you guys have been through? I wouldn’t do that to you. That was one of the reasons I was reluctant to reach out to you or enter the contest. I didn’t want to invade your privacy.”

 

“I appreciate that. That was one of the reasons I took my time contacting you. Then when you entered the contest, I didn’t want it to seem like nepotism if we chose you, but I got vetoed by the guys.”

 

Jake looked towards Justin, Chris, Joey, and Lance. “Thanks.”

 

“You’re welcome. After Johnny showed us your pictures and read your letter, J.C.’s vote didn’t matter.” Answered Chris.

 

 “I have a question: How did you get my posters on your ceiling?” Justin laughed.

 

“On a ladder, very carefully. Thankfully, I didn’t fall.”

 

“Trust us, he’s not worth all that trouble,” Joey answered.

 

“He is to me.”

 

J.C. looked at Kristen. “You’re awfully quiet over there. Are you okay?”

 

“I’m not sure. I’m standing between my best friend and his long lost identical twin, who’s also my celebrity crush. I’m trying to wrap my brain around it.”

 

“I guess that can feel kind of weird huh?”

 

“You have no idea. We’re like brother and sister. I definitely don’t see you that way, but now that we know you’re his brother, where does that leave me?”

 

“As my best friend and Josh’s future wife. Remember how upset you were that he didn’t tell you he was adopted?”

 

“Jake!”

 

“What? That’s what you said.”

 

“You didn’t have to tell him that!”

 

“This is why I took those pictures of your room! I can’t believe . . .”

 

“Okay. Okay. As entertaining as this is, I didn’t mean to start World War III.” J.C. looked at Jake’s parents. “Are they always like this?”

 

“Yes.”

 

He looked back at Jake. “And you said you didn’t have any siblings.”

 

“Do we?” Jake asked him.

 

“Two sisters, Emily and Amanda.”

 

“How old are they? Have you met them?”

 

“Emily is 17 and Amanda is 15. No, I haven’t met them, only Kathleen. She said that they bought multiple copies of No Strings Attached like you and Kristen did.”

 

“What’s she like?”

 

“She’s nice. I only met her once, but we’ve talked on the phone a few times. She called the day we beat the Backstreet Boys sales record to congratulate me. That’s how I found you.”

 

“Why didn’t she come look for me?”

 

“I don’t know, but she does want to meet you now, if you’re open to it.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“She told me during one of our conversations. I can go with you if you want me to.”

 

“In the middle of a tour?”

 

“In Orlando. She lives there like I do. Plus, I promised Emily and Amanda I’d introduce them to Chris and Joey.”

 

“Wait. So none of your siblings like you?” Kristen was incredulous.

 

“Nope. I know you don’t see me as a brother, but at least I’m somebody’s favorite. Let’s hold off on the wedding, though, okay?” he smiled.

 

“Okay.”

 

“Seriously, though. Thanks for everything you’ve done for Jake. Even if we were a match, I don’t think I could have done what you did, even if I wanted to.”

 

“Not as terrified as you are of needles. They would have had to put you in a straight jacket and hold you down.”

 

“Or give me anesthesia to knock me out.”

 

“Probably all three.”

 

“Probably.”

 

Everyone laughed, but it didn’t take long for JC to get serious again. “You’re okay now, right Jake?”

 

“Yep. I have a clean bill of health.”

 

“Good, Kristen and I were kidding, but if I absolutely had to. . .”

 

“I wouldn’t let you do that. Those needles are large and they hurt like hell. If you couldn’t get an *NSYNC tattoo, donating your bone marrow to me is out of the question. I appreciate the gesture, though.”

 

“Um, I hate to break up this family reunion, but we have to leave now if we’re going to make it to our next show on time tomorrow.” Johnny interjected.

 

“Can we take pictures first?” Jake asked.

 

“Ok, but make it quick.”

 

First *NSYNC took pictures with them separately and together, then Kristen with J.C., Justin with Jake, J.C. with Jake and finally one with all the members of the Chasez/Matthews families.

 

When *NSYNC got on the tour bus, JC was on cloud nine, both from the show and the meet and greet.

 

“Thanks for vetoing me on this guys.”

 

“You’re welcome. We knew you’d feel better once you got a chance to meet each other. It was almost like destiny brought you together. We couldn’t let this opportunity pass you by.”

 

“I just wish we’d had more time to talk. There was so much else I wanted to say.”

 

“I’m sure that goes both ways,” answered Chris. “Maybe you can invite them to the concert in Orlando, too.”

 

“Yeah. I just don’t want things to be too awkward between Jake and Kathleen, or any of our families, really. There was a lot that wasn’t said tonight.”

 

“You’ve gotten this far. I’m sure you’ll be okay,” Lance tried to reassure him.

 

“I hope so.”

 

“I can’t believe we met *NSYNC!” Kristen squealed on the way back home.

 

“Me either!” Jake echoed her sentiment.

 

“I can’t believe they signed all of our stuff.”

 

“They’re so nice and down to earth.”

 

“And they’re easy to talk to, even about the things that were hard to talk about.”

 

“Speaking of which, Josh’s parents invited all of us to their show in Orlando.”

 

Liz Matthews’ voice carried from the front seat.

 

“We decided to take them up on the offer. We know it will be hard for you Jake, but we have questions for Kathleen, just like you do, and we know you want to spend more time with Josh and meet your sisters.”

 

Jake was stunned. That was the last thing he was expecting. 

 

“Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome. We could see how much this meant to you both during the show and afterwards. The ease with which they welcomed all of us just showed how respectful they are of everyone’s feelings. We were surprised when Josh opened the invitation to the show for us, especially because we knew that the last thing you’d want was to attend a concert with your parents.”

 

“It was fun. Sorry we ignored you for most of it.”

 

“It didn’t surprise us when you did. Besides, it gave us a chance to get acquainted with his family.”

 

Jake was grateful for that. He was grateful for all of this.

 

 

Two months later, *NSYNC was home in Orlando closing out the No Strings Attached Tour. Instead of meeting after the show, J.C. had everyone come before it started, so they’d have a little more time together.

 

 

J.C. spotted Kathleen, Emily and Amanda as soon as they got there.  He walked over to Jake and whispered in his ear.

 

 

 

“Are you ready to meet our mother?”

 

 

 

Jake shook his head no.

 

 

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll lead. Follow me.”

 

 

 

They slowly walked towards her. J.C. gave her a hug. “It’s nice to see you again.”

 

 

 

“You, too, Josh. These are your sisters Emily and Amanda.”

 

 

 

“This is your other son, Jake.”

 

 

 

“Hi,” they all stammered.

 

 

 

“Jake, I”

 

 

 

“Emily, Amanda,” J.C. broke in, “Would you like me to introduce you to Chris and Joey?”

 

 

 

Their eyes widened. “Yes, please!”

 

 

 

Both Jake and Kathleen looked at him and mouthed “Thank you” before he took them to meet his friends.

 

 

 

“Jake, as I was trying to say . . .”

 

 

 

“Why did you keep Josh and give me away? How could you do that? If you were going to give him away, too, why didn’t you do it at the same time? What was the point of keeping one adoption open and closing the other one?”

 

 

 

“We’d like to know the answers to those questions, too.” Ron and Liz walked up behind their son.

 

 

 

“I thought I could handle taking care of and keeping in touch with one of you. I knew I wouldn’t be able to do that with both. As time went on, it became apparent to me that I couldn’t take care of Josh, either. I tried to keep in touch with him, but it was too painful, just like it was with you.”

 

 

 

“But he said that you did keep in touch.”

 

 

 

“I did, with his parents. Not with him.”

 

 

 

“I don’t understand.”

 

 

 

“I knew I’d put you both in happy homes. I didn’t want to disturb that. The only time I contacted them was when I moved here, five years ago. They would call me with certain milestones and always left the door open for me to visit if I wanted.”

 

 

 

There were tears in Jake’s eyes. “Why couldn’t you do that with me? I needed you when I got sick. Did Josh tell you I had cancer and had to have a bone marrow transplant?”

 

 

 

“No, he didn’t. I’m sorry.”

 

 

 

“You should be. I could have died. Did you ever think of me at all?”

 

 

 

“All the time. Every day. Here are letters I’ve been writing to you everyday for the past 24 years. I know they won’t make up for the time we’ve lost, but it’s all I can give to you right now.”

 

 

 

“Thank you.”

 

 

 

J.C. could tell Jake was upset from where he was standing and even though his parents were with him, J.C. still felt a strong need to protect him.

 

 

 

Since he was being completely ignored by his sisters, who were being thoroughly entertained by Joey and Chris, he walked back over to Jake.

 

 

 

“Are you okay?”

 

 

 

“No. Can we get out of here for a second?”

 

 

 

“Sure. Let’s take a walk around the venue.”

 

 

 

“How do you make it look so easy Josh?”

 

 

 

“It isn’t. When I found out the circumstances of our adoptions, I remember wondering how you felt and that I’d be just as upset as you are if I was in your position.”

 

 

 

“I know it doesn’t feel that way now, but she did what was best for us.”

 

 

 

“Easy for you to say, she kept you.”

 

 

 

“Maybe so, but she also gave me away. I have no memories of my time with her.”

 

 

 

“You don’t?”

 

 

 

“No. She gave me a memory scrapbook but it feels like it’s from someone else’s life.”

 

 

 

“She gave me one of letters she’s written to me. I’d rather have the pictures. Do you want to trade?”

 

 

 

“No. I think she gave us what she thought we needed.”

 

 

 

“How are you so logical about this?”

 

 

 

“I think it comes with being the oldest in my family. Now we hold that title together.”

 

 

 

Jake looked towards their sisters. “I guess we do.”

 

 

 

“Don’t forget about Heather and Tyler. They’re your brother and sister now, too.”

 

 

 

“Do Joey, Chris and Lance count?”

 

 

 

“For better or worse, yeah.”

 

 

 

“But not Justin.”

 

 

 

JC laughed. “Nope. Not Justin. That’s probably a good thing.”

 

 

 

“At least we have each other.”

 

 

 

“No matter what, we’ll always have each other.”