Chapter 1 

It was a rainy Friday night. It was the first rain of the year, and the roads were slick. Justin drove carefully to his destination, taking care not to disturb the small package on the passenger seat. He was nervous, his stomach a bundle of knots. He could almost feel his heart pounding in his throat. 

I thought this was supposed to be easy. I love her, we’ve been together over 2 years, this is the next step. So why am I so afraid? Do I really expect her to say no? She’s been hinting ever since she was in a wedding a few months ago. Damn, she was beautiful that day. The light turquoise dress, her hair up. I couldn’t wait to take her to my place. 

He looked at himself in the rear view mirror as he waited for the valet. “You can do this, Justin,” he said aloud.  “You love her, she loves you. You have NO clue what you’re going to say, but you’re quick on your feet. By the end of the night, you’ll be engaged.”

He picked up the small box from the seat next to him, put it in his pocket, and pulled up to the valet station. The valet opened the door, holding an umbrella so Justin wouldn’t get wet. He gave the valet his keys, and walked into the restaurant. He felt weird being there before her, but he knew her shift at the hospital might have run long, and she’d need more time to get ready. She was worth the wait, that was for sure. He waited for her just inside the door. 

More time to think of what to say, before the obvious, he thought to himself. His mind practiced what felt like 50 different things to say before she walked through the door. His eyes brightened when he saw her, a smile spread across his face. He stood up, greeting her with a hug and a kiss before checking their coats. 

He was wearing an all black suit with a red tie. He had left his coat open to put the ring in his suit jacket, so there was no chance of losing it. 

She wore a red dress, with a sheer illusion shoulder and collar. It hugged her curves, flaring out a little at her hips, the lace trim along the bottom brushing her knees. She wore what he called her “fuck me” heels, making her tall enough to kiss, among other things. Her hair was pulled back away from her face. It was a chestnut brown, with natural blond highlights that shone like gold, hanging just below her shoulder blades. Her blue green eyes sparkled. 

They were shown to their table, he pulled out her chair for her. 

“Sorry I’m late, my shift went late, then the extra traffic with the rain…”

“Nicki, no need to apologize. I’d have waited hours for you to get here. You look absolutely beautiful tonight.”

They browsed the menu, even though they had been there what felt like hundreds of times and had their favorite orders. Justin ordered the filet mignon, Nicki the chicken marsala, with bruschetta to start. 

“How was work today?” he asked, holding her hand across the table. 

“The usual. One of my patients had their tonsils out.  He LOVED that he could have all the ice cream and pudding he wanted. Every 6 year old’s dream.”

“Any closer to moving towards oncology?” he asked. 

“Not really. I’m still on the fence about it all. It would be great to have the opportunity, but I worry about getting attached and losing a patient. At least working in the pediatric ward we get more happy endings, sending kids home feeling better. Oncology, even with kids, would lead to a lot more heartache day in and out.”

“Life is risk and reward. The bigger the risk, the bigger the reward. Look at us. We’d both been burned pretty bad in previous relationships, I know I wasn’t looking for anyone when I met you. Thank God that Heather brought you to JC’s birthday party; I can’t imagine where I’d be now if she hadn’t. Over 2 years together, and I’ve loved you more each day than I did the one before.”

 

This is it, he thought. He dropped to one knee, pulling the box out of his pocket. “Nicole Iaconetti, will you let me love you the rest of my life?”

Chapter 2

She sat there, her jaw wide and her eyes wider, looking at the ring and Justin. Her silence was only a couple of seconds, but it felt like an eternity to Justin. 

“Yes!  I’ll marry you!” Tears started welling up in her eyes. He kissed her, then put the ring on her finger. It was a 2 carat round cut diamond, with a halo of smaller diamonds around it. 

They continued dinner; the restaurant gave them champagne and dessert to celebrate the engagement. After dinner, they got their coats and waited at the valet station for their cars. It was sprinkling, but they stood under a covered area. 

“My place?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“I don’t think Heather would want us at our place to ‘celebrate’, so yes. I’ll see you there,” she said, giving him a seductive kiss. 

They got into their cars. Nicki left first, with Justin following close behind. They got on the freeway, traffic was letting up a bit. The rain, however, was getting worse. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a car zooming up in the lane next to him in his side view mirror. Justin let up on the gas a bit to slow down. 

Stupid drivers either go too slow in the rain or drive like everything is normal.

The car passed Justin, but hit a puddle. It began to fishtail and spin, before slamming into a car a few lengths ahead of him. 

Justin all but slammed on his brakes, pulling over to check on the cars. He ran out to his trunk, and got out some road flares. He lit them to help avoid a bigger pileup. He got back in his car to call 911. 

“Yes, I’m on the 405, northbound, a car was speeding and spun out of control, hitting another car. I put flares out before calling you, but otherwise haven’t looked to see if there are any injuries. I can stay at the scene if needed. Thank you.”

Police and an ambulance were on their way, he could hear sirens approaching in the distance. He approached the cars. His heart was in his throat, his stomach in knots again. 

“No!  NICKI!!”  He ran to her car. The driver had slammed into her car, right against her door. The wheel base and door panel were a mess, her car was totaled. 

He took his key to her car and unlocked the passenger door. Her window was smashed, glass bits on her lap and the floor. Her front airbag had deployed, but he could see blood on her lap. 

“Nicki, Nicki, are you ok? Can you hear me? Nicki??” he begged, hoping for a response. 

The ambulance arrived, and he jumped out of the car. “Help! My fiancée is in here! There’s blood, she’s not responding!”

He stood back so the EMTs could do their job, working to free her from the car. He felt so helpless, there was nothing he could do but watch and wait. He stood in the pouring rain, crying, hoping that she would be ok. The police took his statement of what he’d seen, they gave him a blanket to help him stay warm. He refused to leave until he knew she was ok. 

“Go sit in your car, sit, it’s safer there. We’ll let you know more once they can get her out. Pulling her from the passenger side could hurt her more, it’s safer to get her from her side of the car. She’s your fiancée, you said?” Justin nodded, at a loss for words, his throat dry. 

 

He ran his hand along the back of his neck, sitting powerless in his car. Nicki, please be ok…

Chapter 3

A police officer tapped on his passenger side window. “Yes, Mr. Timberlake, she’s breathing, but I don’t have much more for you. They’re taking her to UCLA Medical Center.”

She’s a nurse there, that’s the perfect place… he thought. “Thank you,” he managed. 

“You can drive over and wait in the lobby. Once they have more information, they can talk to you. There’s no need to stay here. We’ll contact you on getting things from her car once it’s moved, so there’s time to get everything out.”

“Thank you,” he said, nodding to the officer before rolling up the window and driving to the hospital. He sat in his car for a while. He knew they wouldn’t have answers right away. He picked up his phone and called Heather. 

“Hey Justin, how was the big night?” she asked. 

“We need to talk. Something happened…” his voice was low, his tone serious. 

“What happened? Did she pass out from the shock of the proposal?”

“There was a car accident. Her car is totaled. A car lost control and slammed into her. She wasn’t responding when I called her name, blood in the car. She’s at the hospital now, so am I, waiting for news.”

“Shit. Oh my god. I’ll be right over. Her hospital?”

“Yeah. It looked bad. I’m scared Heather…”

“I’ll call JC, we’ll meet you there soon.”

Justin sighed as he hung up the phone. “How could this happen? Why now? Why HER?! Why God, WHY? If we’d taken one car… she could be safe. I’d be driving, so either we’d both be safe, or it would be ME in there right now, not her. Why HER?!” he said aloud, breaking down into tears again. 

He stopped crying, slowly walking into the hospital lobby. JC and Heather showed up soon after. 

“Hey man, I’m so sorry. Things will be ok, just wait. We’ll stay all night with you if that’s what you need.”

JC pulled Justin in for a hug. Justin held him, starting to cry again. JC patted Justin’s back. “It’s ok man, let it out. We’re here for you.”

They sat down in the lobby, a series of individual seats sectioned together. Heather went up to a desk, asking for information.

“I’m sorry, but if you’re not family…” the nurse started. 

“See that man crying over there? That’s his fiancée over there, she’s my best friend. Her family is far away, he is HERE. Please tell me HE is allowed updates on her?!”

The nurse sighed. “I’ll let them know to come get him once we know more.”

Heather sat down next to Justin, opposite JC. “They’ll let you know once they know anything. Honestly, with how Nicki talked, word will travel pretty quickly and someone in her department would find us.”

“Talked? Can we keep things PRESENT TENSE, like she’s still alive?!” Justin snapped. 

“Sorry, you’re right. Nicki’s a fighter, she’ll pull through this. There’s no good in us giving up hope.”

“It should’ve been me…” Justin said out loud. 

“J…” JC sighed. 

“No. I could’ve driven both of us. I could’ve waited and picked her up, taken her home. We’d either be at my place celebrating, or I’d be the one up there right now.”

“You can’t talk like that,” JC said. “It happened. You could play the ‘coulda, shoulda, woulda’ game, all the what if’s, and it won’t change anything. It’s not healthy, J. You’re gonna go crazy focusing on the guilt and what could have happened. Be in the here and now, be ready for whatever she needs moving forward.”

“She’s probably got a long recovery ahead, she’ll need you in ways we don’t even know yet. A therapist might not be a bad idea, you just experienced some major trauma. They could help you sort this all out in a healthy way.  It’s been helping JC,” Heather said. 

JC gave Heather a look, shooting daggers at his sister. She instantly regretted her last comment. 

“You’re seeing a therapist?” asked Justin, surprised. 

“That’s not the point right now.  You need help so that you can help Nicki,” JC said.

Sorry, mouthed Heather to JC.

“I’ll look into it,” Justin sighed.

“You’re still in shock.  This all literally JUST happened.  Give it a couple days and if you’re still feeling like this, get help.  We’re here if you need anything.

 

A doctor approached the trio.  “Mr. Timberlake?”

Chapter 4

Justin quickly rose to his feet.  “That’s me.”  They walked down the hall a bit for privacy.

“I’m Dr. Hanover.  I have some information for you on Nicole.  It’s not definite, but it’s a start.  The good news is that she’s relatively stable.  She was unconscious for a considerable amount of time.  She finally regained consciousness, but we still need to do some tests to check for any brain damage.  She didn’t know who she was, today’s date, but that can be common in situations like this.  Once we rule out other brain injuries, we can diagnose better if she is still having memory relapses.”

“Can I see her?” Justin asked.

“Yes, but be warned she might not know you.  That’s ok for now, but it might be a while, if ever, before she does.  From what I hear, seeing the accident can be traumatic in and of itself.  Seeing her in this state might be worse for you.  Maybe bringing your friends could help you.  She’s in the ICU for observation, room 304.”

“Thank you,” Justin said, taking it all in.  He regurgitated the information to JC and Heather.

“You sure you want to see her right now?” JC asked.

“I can go in first and bring you in later,” Heather offered.  “A little less threatening to not remember a friend than a fiancee.”

“I guess you’re right.  Let’s go with that then,” Justin conceded.

They walked onto the elevator, Justin pushing the button for the third floor.  They entered the ICU, seeing the room Nicki was in.  Heather slowly walked in.  JC put his hand on Justin’s shoulder in support as they stood just outside the door.

“Hi,” said Heather.

“Hi,” said Nicki, half awake.  “You look familiar.  Do I know you?”

“I’m Heather.  A friend, your roommate.”

“Oh, ok.  Sorry, everything is fuzzy right now.”

“What DO you remember?” Heather asked.

“It was dark, then a flash of light and a loud noise.”

“Yeah.  You were in an accident.  You’re doing fine, all things considered.  Do you remember having dinner tonight, who you were with?”

Justin was listening intently to the conversation.  He waited with bated breath, nervous what she would say.

“No.  Was there someone with me?  Are they hurt?”

JC’s hand squeezed Justin’s shoulder.  “She’ll get there, man.  It’s all so new.”

Heather poked her head out, nodding for them to come in.

“Before I introduce them, do you recognize either of these two?” Heather asked, motioning to JC and Justin. 

Nicki shook her head.  “Again, familiar, but no.”

Justin’s heart sank hearing his fear realized.

“This is my brother JC, and this is Justin.  He’s a friend.  He was with you earlier tonight.”

“Why aren’t you hurt? I’m glad, but confused.”

“We took separate cars.  I saw the accident,” he sighed.  

“I’m sure that was scary.  What were we doing earlier?”

“We had dinner at our favorite restaurant.”

“Like a date?” she asked, hesitation in her voice.

“Something like that, yeah…” he said, running a nervous hand along the back of his neck.

“Did I have a good time?”

“I think so, yes,” Justin started to smile.

“Sorry to ruin your night,” Nicki sighed.

“I’m just glad you’re ok.  That’s all that matters.”

“I’m feeling a little tired.  Thanks for coming to see me.”

They left the room, closing the door behind them.  JC and Heather started walking towards the elevator.  They got down the hall before they realized Justin wasn’t with them.  He was on the floor, next to Nicki’s closed door, curled with his knees to his chest, holding back tears.

JC slid down the wall to sit next to him.  “She’ll remember, eventually.”

“What if she doesn’t?...” he asked, his voice desperate.  “What if she never remembers?” 

“Then we make NEW memories,” Heather stated.

“I love her so much, what if I lose her?”  Tears welled up in his eyes, his voice almost choking on the words.

“She fell for you once, it can happen again.  Your birthday is coming up, throw a party.  You guys met at a party, remember?  It was for JC, but a party is a party.  Stick around town for a while, I’ll have you over more when we have friends over so she sees you.  There’s one plus side to all this, though…”

“WHAT?” Justin asked.

“For now, she’s never heard of *NSYNC.  You’re not a celebrity to her.  You can just be Justin.”

“What about the pictures of us she has in her room?  Won’t that confuse her?” Justin asked.

“How about you come over tomorrow and we’ll go through stuff.  Anything romantic, you keep for now.  If her memory comes back, we explain things.  If not, and she falls in love with you all over again, just tell her they’re from before the accident.  Tell her the stories behind each picture, letter, whatever.”

“She’s smart,” Justin said, looking at JC.

 

“Don’t I know it,” JC said, smiling at Heather.

Chapter 5

Heather drove to her place for the night.  JC drove Justin home.  “I’m crashing on your couch tonight, driving you to Heather’s when you’re ready,” JC said.

“I don’t know if I’ll really be ready,” Justin sighed.

“I know, bud.  We’re here for you.  The next few days are gonna be the toughest; not knowing what is going on, waiting for her to be released from the hospital to start her life again.”

“A life without ME,” Justin sighed.

“Hey, Heather is very on board with this.  She’s MY sister, Nicki’s roommate.  She wants Nicki to be happy, and YOU make Nicki happy.  I know, Heather complains to me sometimes about how sickeningly cute you guys are.”

“We;ll see.  I’m just so afraid of things falling apart,” Justin said.

…

Justin laid in bed for what felt like hours.  I want to sleep, dream of her, us, together.  Like it SHOULD be, he thought.

He finally was able to sleep.  He was in a church, full of people.  He saw his mom, Trace, JC, Heather, and then saw Nicki at the back of the church.  She was in a beautiful white gown, she glowed like an angel.  Then, out of nowhere, the roof of the church flew off, the rush of wind carrying Nicki up with it.

He woke up with a start, sweating.  Even in my dreams, I lose her… He gave up on the possibility of sleep, going into the kitchen to make some coffee.  As the pot finished brewing, JC slowly sat up on the couch.  

“Do I smell coffee?” he yawned, half asleep.

“Yeah.  Couldn’t sleep, had a nightmare about Nicole.  Figured I might as well make some coffee and stay awake,” Justin explained, pouring himself a cup of coffee.  “You want one?” he asked, raising his mug.

JC nodded.  “I’ll fix it in a minute.”  He yawned and stretched his arms wide.  “Do I need to stay here a few days?  Make sure you eat, sleep?  You can’t live on coffee and avoid sleep forever.”

“It’s just one night, J,” Justin replied.

“I’ll text you throughout the day.  I want pictures of what you eat, or dirty dishes in the sink.  Proof that you ate.  Only an idiot would make food and not eat it.  Last thing we need is you in the hospital from starving yourself or not sleeping.  Do it for Nicki.”

“Fine,” Justin relented.  He collapsed on the couch with his coffee.  JC got up to fix himself a cup.

“I’m making you breakfast.  Eggs, bacon, and pancakes,” JC said.

“There’s waffles in the freezer if that’s easier,” Justin replied.

“Waffles it is,”. JC nodded. He cooked the bacon first, then made scrambled eggs in the grease. He put the waffles in the toaster. When everything was ready, he put it on plates, and grabbed forks. He brought butter and syrup to the table, and set the plates down. 

“Come and eat,” JC said, almost like an order. Justin drafted himself over, forcing himself to eat. 

“Mmm, this is pretty good. Thanks man, for looking out for me,” Justin said. 

“We’ve been friends for HOW long? Did you expect anything less by now? Remember after Britney?”

“You took me out drinking and to a strip club…”

“Ok, so maybe it wasn’t the BEST idea, but at least I tried,”. JC said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m doing for you what I’d want someone to do for me.”

“I guess, it’s the thought that counts,” Justin admitted. 

“Go take a shower and get dressed, keep some normalcy in your life. You’ll feel better.”

Justin took a long, hot shower, letting the c water just fall over him. It felt good at first, then suddenly he felt like he was back at the scene of the accident, standing in the pouring rain, looking at the wreckage. 

Justin screamed in the shower. JC came running. “You ok? What’s wrong, J?” He asked, opening the bathroom door a crack. 

“I had a flashback to last night..” Justin said, cooking back tears.

“Turn the water off, get dressed, and we’ll go to Heather and Nicki’s. I’ll be there all day if you need me,” JC offered sincerely. 

Justin got dressed, a t-shirt, jeans, and his favorite Jordans.  They got in Justin’s car, with JC drive.

“This feels so weird, being on this side of my own car,” Justin realized.

“You’re in no state to drive, especially if you have another flashback.  It’s safer this way,” JC admonished.

They soon pulled up in front of the townhouse Heather and Nicki shared.  “I offered to buy her a house,” JC said, “but she wanted to do this herself.  She settled on letting me making a huge down payment.”

“I never knew that,” Justin said.  “Of course, I never asked, either.”

“Heather tries to be really low key, she’s really good with her money, not wanting to be taking advantage of her ‘famous’ brother,” he said, using air quotes with the word famous.

“You say famous like you’re not.  There’s still PLENTY of JC fans out there.  You were Nicki’s favorite, before she met me.  It took a long time to get used to you coming over to see Heather.  Thank God for your birthday party, so she could meet me.”

They walked into the house.  Pictures of Heather, Nicki, and their friends hung on the walls in small collages.  Justin walked into Nicki’s room and sighed.

“Let’s get started,” JC encouraged.  They looked through pictures, some in frames, some just taped to the wall.

“It’s like it’s a breakup, and I’m getting all my stuff back.  I’m just the only one who knows we were even together in the first place,” Justin pouted, taking down pictures.  Date nights, vacations, birthdays, memory after memory were now just his.  He got more emotional as he took more pictures down.

“I know man, you gotta be strong.  Be the confident Justin she fell in love with, she’s not gonna find you attractive moping around.”

“Hey guys, how’s it going in here?” Heather asked hesitantly.

“It looks so empty now,” Justin noticed. “You think she’ll know something’s off?”

“Maybe, but let ME deal with that.  You want her to GENUINELY love you, not just because we told her you’re her fiance, right?  I’m sure she’ll understand.  The pictures might help bring back memories, or they might guilt her into doing something she doesn’t want, to make you happy,” Heather said.

“What do I do if she meets someone else?” Justin gasped, choking on the words.

“Let’s cross that bridge when we get to it.  You guys good here, while I go see Nicki?  I think all of us there overwhelmed her.”

 

“We’ll be fine, go ahead,” JC waved her off.

Chapter 6

Heather approached Nicki’s hospital room.  She knocked on the door, opening it a crack, and asked, “Can I come in?  It’s Heather.”

“Sure, Nicki said.  “My roommate, right?”

“I’m also your best friends, if I say so myself.”

“Are those guys with you again?” she asked eagerly.

“No, just me today,” Heather said.

“Who are they?  Friends of mine?  They were cute! Especially the one with the longer hair. “

“That’s my brother, he’s off limits.  You used to think he was cute, so that tracks at least…”

“What made me stop?”

“It’s not that you STOPPED, per se, but thought someone else was better…”

“Was it the other guy?  You said I was with him last night, before the accident.”

“I’m not sure how to answer that…” Heather hesitated.

“Honestly, please.  If you’re my best friend you wouldn’t keep stuff from me, right?”

“Not unless I had a REALLY good reason, no.  I don’t want to make you feel you have to be who you were before, if you really don’t remember.  I don’t want you to [pretend to be happy to please US, we all want you to be genuinely happy.”

“Was I on a date with him last night?” Nicki asked again, her voice demanding an answer.

“Damnit, yes,” Heather sighed.

“Do I like him?” Nicki continued.

“How did you feel seeing him here last night?”

“There was something I couldn’t explain.  I felt happy, but had no idea why.  He’s very handsome, I could see why I went out with him last night.  Was it our first date?”

“It was special, I’ll say that.  Have you had any other visitors?  I let our friends know what happened.  Not sure if any were able to see you yet.  I know it’s still early though.”

“No, just people here.  I’m a nurse here?”

“Yes, you work in pediatrics, with little kids.”

“I have no idea what to do.  How can I go back to my job if I don’t know how to do it?” Nicki panicked.  “I’d hate to let the kids down, but I don’t remember much of anything…”

“Talk with the doctors here, I’m sure you can at least volunteer so the kids can still see you.  Go to school, learn it all over again.  One step at a time, ok?”

“Is this why you’re my best friend, you know how to calm me down?” Nicki asked.

“One of many reasons, yes.”

“How did we meet?”

“We were roommates in college.  We had a lot in common, got along well, so we moved into our place after graduation.”  heather knew to leave JC and Justin being in *NSYNC out of the story.  When Nicki found out Heather’s last name was Chasez, related to JC, she had been super excited.  Heather didn't mind listening to their CDs, but he was just Josh, her brother.

“How long have you known Justin?” Nicki asked.

“I met him somewhere around ‘93, so like 12 years now?  He became friends with my brothers, so I saw him from time to time.”

“Are they best friends?”

“Yeah, more like brothers.  They’ve been through a lot together over the years, they had a close knit group of friends.”

“Did you ever think Justin was cute?” Nikci pressed.

“Heather swallowed hard.  “Just an innocent crush early on.  Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t kick him out of bed, but he’s so close to my brother, it’d be weird.”

“I wouldn’t mind going on a date with him once I’m home, get to know him.  I’m guessing he’s a nice guy if you let me go on a date with him.”

“I’ve never told you who you should or shouldn’t date, but yeah, he’s a sweet guy.  Down to earth once you get to know him.”

“If he has your stamp of approval, then I’m not opposed to the idea.”

“He’ll be happy to know that,” Heather smiled.

“Don’t say anything, I want to surprise him.  Can you have him visit me soon?”

“Sure.  You know you have his number, right? You can call him.”

There was a knock at the door.  A nurse walked in.  “Hi, we need to run some tests on you Nicki, help see what we need to do to help you get out of here soon.”

“I’ll leave you to it then.  Give him a call, he’d like to hear from you.”

After Nicki was gone, Heather went through Nicki’s bag the hospital had put her things in.  Along with her wallet and keys, she found the ring.

“Damn, must have cost a fortune,” she said out loud. I’ll give it back to him so he has it to propose again, someday, she thought.

She got out her phone and texted Justin.

Good news, J.  She thinks you’re cute ;) Come see her in a few hours, they’re running some tests right now.  I told her to call you, hopefully she does.  I’m heading home, see you soon.

Justin’s phone buzzed.  His eyes widened and softened, a smile spread from ear to ear.

“Glad you’re smiling,” JC said.  “What’s up?”

“Heather texted me.  Nicki said she thinks I’m cute!”

“See.  She may not have memories of you, but you can make new ones together.  Learn from any mistakes you made before and be a better version of you,” JC encouraged.

 

She thinks I’m cute, things will be back to normal in no time…

Chapter 7

They continued looking through photo albums, boxes, drawers, everything they could to find pictures or proof of their relationship. 

“I feel bad that we’re snooping, taking pictures off her wall was one thing, but to go through the rest of her stuff? It feels wrong,” Justin said. “She thinks I’m cute, that’s a good sign, right?”

“Yes, but let’s not put our eggs in one basket…” Heather said. 

“Actually, I think this would be a situation of don’t count your chickens before they’ve hatched…” JC chimed in. 

“ANYWAY,” Heather huffed, “it’s in her best interest right now. If she gets her memory back, we just explain everything to her. It’s not like we’re getting rid of them, we’re holding on to them for her.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Justin shrugged. 

“It’s been a few hours. Go see her. Maybe bring some flowers or something?” Heather suggested. 

“Maybe go with the ‘something’, flowers might be trying too hard too soon,” JC said. 

“Am I ok to drive myself, JC?” Justin asked with a slight mocking tone. 

“I’ll allow it,” JC jibed back. 

Justin grabbed his keys from JC. “Do I look ok?”

“Just be you. Flash her that smile, you’ll be fine,” Heather assured him. 

He got in his car, feeling better sitting behind the wheel. He drove to the hospital, taking surface streets to avoid going past the accident site. 

I know I’ll have to drive that eventually, he thought, but not until things are better, if I can help it. 

He pulled up to the hospital parking lot when his phone rang. He smiled. It was Nicki. 

“Hello?” he answered, playing it cool. 

“Hi, Justin? It’s Nicki. How are you?”

“Pretty good.  How are you feeling today.”

“Better physically. Everything else is still a blur.”

“I’m glad you called,” his voice became more genuine and relaxed. 

“Can you come by to see me today? Trying to see all my friends, see if something comes back to me…”

She’s lying. I can still tell when she’s lying, her voice gets a little muddy.  There’s another reason she wants to see me.

“Sure, I can head over now. See you in a bit.”

He smiled, getting out of his car and going into the gift shop. He walked past all of the baby related gifts at the front of the store, heading towards the back. He saw the rack of cards, turning it to find the perfect one. There was a card with a watercolor painting of the ocean, one of Nicki’s favorite places. It was blank inside. Perfect, he thought, this lets me write something for myself. 

He purchased the card, and borrowed a pen from the cashier. He wrote a note inside, put the card in the envelope, and walked up to her room. 

He knocked on the door, waiting for her to respond. 

“Come in,” she said.  “Oh, you got here fast…”

“I was in the area,” he laughed nervously. 

He could tell she was nervous too. He knew her so well, this was the same Nicki, she just needed to find her way. 

“So, how did we meet?” Nicki asked. 

“At a party for JC’s birthday. Heather brought you so she wouldn’t be alone.”

“She seems really nice, she’s been here a couple times…” 

“She’s great. Feels like I’ve known her forever.”

“Did you ever like her that way?”

“I honestly never thought of her like that. JC and the guys, our group of friends was my focus for a long time. I had one girlfriend for a long time, so I never really thought of Heather that way.”

“Would you think of her that way NOW?”

“I mean, I guess she’s pretty, but again, I hadn’t given it much thought.” Is she trying to set me up with Heather instead?!

“Your girlfriend, what happened?”

This was a turn. It felt like everyone knew what had happened with Britney, he felt odd having to try to explain. 

“She broke my heart, let’s put it that way… It’s still tough to talk about 3 years later.”

“How long ago did we meet?”

“About 2 and a half years, a little less I guess, if I did the math…”

“What can you tell me about myself?”

“You’re smart, kind, funny, extremely caring and compassionate.” He wasn’t lying. 

Nicki hesitated. “I don’t know if the old me would have done this. Once I’m out of the hospital, would you wanna go on a date?”

Justin smiled. “You’re more like the old Nicki than you know. What’s wrong with a date here, now?  I mean, I can wait til you order dinner, I get something from the cafeteria, and talk.”

“I’d like that,” Nicki smiled back. “You’re welcome to stay until then, I don’t have anywhere else to be.”

“Well then, I’ll have a seat,” he said, sitting down in a chair opposite her. 

“How did you meet JC?” she asked.

“I moved to Orlando, JC was part of this group I joined. We sang, danced, acted…”

“So like a theater group?” she asked. 

“Something like that. They were looking for younger kids, so I ended up getting in. JC was nice to the younger kids, so he became a role model for me. Once that was done a couple years later, we still hung out and kinda formed our own little group of friends. We’ve been really close ever since. He’s like a big brother almost, but I was the youngest in our group, so they all were like my brothers, at a time where I was an only child.”

“You have siblings?”

“Half brothers. Mom and Dad divorced when I was little, Mom remarried and I lived with her, but still close to my dad when he remarried. They’re a bit younger than me so it was weird, especially not living with them.”

“How did you end up in LA if you were in Orlando?” she probed. 

“Well, the music scene out here is big. It’s easier to be here to do what I do sometimes.”

“What do you do?”

“Starting the date questions early..,”

“I thought you said we could start now, so why not?”

“So I did…” he said sheepishly. How much do I tell her?? “I’m a musician. I sing, play piano, guitar…”

“You any good?”

“I like to think so, but I’m super critical so it has to be perfect.”

“You’ll have to play for me sometime.”

“I’d like that,” he laughed. 

Nicki called in her dinner order- pasta with meatballs, a side of veggies, and cake. 

“I’ll be back, we’ll continue this over dinner,” Justin said.   Jenn smiled and nodded before he left. 

 

This is great. This is REALLY good, Justin thought to himself. 

Chapter 8

Justin looked around the hospital cafeteria. He went with a BLT, chips, and a package of Oreos. He made his way up to her room. A handsome doctor was in her room, talking with her. 

“Oh,” the doctor said as Justin came into the room. “I’ll see you around, Nicki.”

Justin was silent as the doctor left the room. 

“That’s Parker, I guess he’s a doctor in my ward. Came to say hi and that I can come back soon.”

Yeah, I bet he does… Justin thought. He clenched his fists a little before sitting down in the chair. 

“Well, if this is a date, you CAN come a little closer,” she said, gesturing to the end of her bed. “Where were we?”

“You were asking me what I do, typical date questions.”

“Right. Our actual date a couple nights ago, where did we go?”

“We went to a fancy restaurant.”

“You try to impress me?”

“Something like that, yeah.  It was a special night, it deserved a special place.”

“What did we have?” 

“I had the filet mignon, you had chicken marsala.”

“For someone that has no idea what that is right now?”

“I had steak, you had chicken and mushrooms.”

“Oh. That does sound good.  Better than this, that’s for sure. Are you a good cook?”

“Good enough, I guess. I play around every now and then. You’re not bad yourself.”

“Hopefully that hasn’t changed,” she sighed. 

“You seem to be the you from before, just your memories are gone.”

“So, if we were to go on another date, where would we go? What would we do?”

“I guess you’ll have to agree to another date and find out,” Justin smiled. 

“What makes you think I’ll agree to a second date?” Nicki laughed. 

“Hopeful optimism,” he blushed. 

“Well, how can I say no to that?”

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

“Me too.”  Nicki slowly reached for his hand. He smiled, turning his hand over. 

She looked in his eyes. They sat like that, holding hands, looking into each other’s eyes, smiling, for what seemed like a long time. 

God I just want to kiss her…  he thought. 

I wish he’d kiss me… she thought. 

The moment ruined too soon when someone came to take her food tray, and a nurse came in to check her vitals. 

“I should head home, but thanks for calling and having me see you. Hoping you’re ready for that date soon.”

“Can I call you tomorrow? You can visit me any time, Justin. I won’t mind.”

“You can call me, text me, whatever. This was nice, talking to you.”

“It was. Thank you for coming by.”

“Good night, sleep well. Before I forget, I got you this,” he said, giving her the card. 

He left the room. She smiled, reaching for the card. She pulled it gently from the envelope, looking at the painting on the front. It’s beautiful, peaceful, she thought. She opened the card and saw his message. 

Nicki,

I hope you get well soon. Above all, I hope you find happiness in all of this. I’ll do what I can, if you’ll let me. 

Justin

She sighed, butterflies in her stomach. I wonder if I felt like this before the accident. If not, I’m glad I feel it now. 

Justin smiled as he walked out of her room, down the elevator, and out into the parking lot. He had butterflies in his stomach. It feels like when we first started out, I hope it keeps going well. 

He drove home, thinking about how the night went, when he would see her again. I’ll wait for her to call me or something first, he thought. He got ready for bed, when his phone buzzed. 

Hey man, haven’t heard from you. Things ok?  It was JC checking in. 

Great. She asked me out on a date.  Justin couldn’t stop smiling. 

Awesome!  When? JC replied. 

Before Justin could answer, his phone buzzed again. 

Breakfast tomorrow? It was Nicki. 

Sure, let me know when you’re up and want me to head over. Sleep well. 

 

Tomorrow, he replied to JC, smiling.

Chapter 9

They both slept well that night. Even in his sleep, Justin was smiling to various degrees.

He woke up, a spring in his step, as if the accident had never happened. She isn’t my fiancée again yet, but we’ll get there. I know we will. 

He showered, put on a black polo shirt, dark wash jeans, and black sneakers. He had to remind himself not to eat ahead of time, but he did have an idea. On the way to the hospital, he stopped to grab something to take in with him. His phone buzzed. Ordered breakfast, see you soon. 

He parked at the hospital, grabbed some cereal, milk, and fruit in the cafeteria, and headed up to Nicki’s room. He knocked on the door. 

“Come in,” Nicki said hopefully. In a hospital, you never know if it’s staff or a visitor at the door.  She smiled when she saw Justin walk in. 

“I brought you coffee. Caramel macchiato. Hope you like it,” he said, putting it on her tray. He squeezed his food on the little table, Jenn looking at what she ordered compared to what he set down. 

“You want some of my food? Breakfast is actually pretty good.”

“It’s hard to mess up pancakes and eggs,” he laughed. “Eat what you want. If anything is left and I’m hungry, I’ll eat. You need it to get your strength back.”

“I feel fine. There isn’t some magic food that’s gonna make me remember. Some things are less fuzzy, but it’s hard to know what I lost. If I remember something, it’s hard to know if I already knew it, or if it’s a lost memory coming back.”

“Like what?” Justin asked, hopeful. 

“I started to know staff’s names, people I work with, not the rotation of doctors and nurses I have. I’m learning their names too, but they don’t seem as familiar as my team does. Like I didn’t know them before being a patient.”

“That’s a step in the right direction,” Justin said. 

Nicki took a sip of the macchiato. “Oh my gosh, this is amazing!”

“Yup, definitely the same Nicki in there. That’s your favorite coffee drink.”

“I can see why. You know so much about me, we’re really that close?”

“Yeah. I’ve gotten to know you pretty well these last couple years.”

“What’s your favorite memory of us?” she asked. 

“The night we met. You wore a simple outfit, but it looked amazing. Black top, dark jeans, long necklace. We laughed, talked, it was a good time. Then there was the night of the accident, our date.” He had a smile across his whole face, his eyes seemed to sparkle as he replayed those moments in his head. 

“I wish I could remember, I’m sure they were great nights,” Nicki sighed. 

“You’re getting some things back, maybe the rest of it will too. Hopefully you’re out in two weeks,” he said. “I’m having a birthday party, I’d love for you and Heather to come.”

“I look forward to it,” Nicki said. 

“Have the doctors said anything on when you can come home?” Justin asked. 

As soon as Justin asked, there was a knock on the door. Dr. Hanover came in. 

“Good morning Nicki. Your scans look good as far as function and everything. We’ll have physical therapy come in and assess your movement, that you’re well enough to go home as early as tomorrow.”

“That’s great, thank you,” Nicki said. 

“The sooner you get back to your normal schedule, hopefully your full memory will come back. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t.”  Dr. Hanover was looking more at Justin as he said that last part. 

Justin nodded. I know he means well, doesn’t want me getting hopes up, but I’ve been on two “dates” with Nicki in the last 24 hours. Things are looking up, he thought to himself. 

Dr. Hanover left, they were alone again. “Great news that you can go home soon,” Justin said, breaking the silence. 

“Yeah. I just have to figure out what happens next. See if I can volunteer on my floor, see my patients, how much comes back to me. I’d hate to have to start all over and take all the classes again if I can remember and jump back in.”

“Before you leave, talk with whoever you need to so it’s sorted now,” Justin suggested. 

“Yeah, Heather said that too,” Jenn said. 

“Well, what else do you wanna ask me? I should probably head out soon so you don’t get sick of me hanging around,” Justin laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Hmmm.  Favorite place in the world?” she asked. 

“Ooof, that is tough. I’ve done a lot of traveling with my job. They’re all great in their own way. I guess Italy, England. Back home in Memphis, that music scene, family and friends. A mix of roots and wings.”

“Favorite smell?”

“That earthy smell after it rains…” he sighed, as if he could smell it. 

“Petrichor,” Nicki interjected. 

“What?”

“That’s what it’s called, petrichor. I have no idea where that came from. That is a good smell,” Nicki agreed. 

“That or my favorite meal.  Or just the smell of a holiday meal, makes you feel like a kid all over again.”

“Favorite meal?”

“I’m a sucker for pasta. I love most foods, so it depends where I am, what I’m eating.”

“Ask me something now,” she said. 

He took his time thinking. “What was your first impression of me, meeting me, again, a couple nights ago?”

Nicki was quiet for a bit. “Well, I thought you were cute, I felt happy. There was something comforting, familiar. You seemed nervous, so that you were maybe a bit shy. You’d been there when everything happened, so scared to really interact with me. I’m glad you came over yesterday, that I’ve gotten to know you better. I’d love a real date next weekend, if that’s ok.”

“That’s perfect. I’ve got lots of ideas already.”

“Yeah, like what?” she asked. 

“Not telling, but if you’re up for it, could be most of the day,” he said. 

“I think I can handle that, yeah.”

There was another knock at the door. It was the physical and occupational therapists, coming to assess Nicki. 

“I’ll go ahead and go, but text or call me if you want.  Bye Nicki, thanks for a great morning.”

“Thank you,” she said, sad to see him go. 

“Was that your boyfriend?” the therapists asked. 

“No, but I’d like him to be…” she sighed. 

…

Justin drove home, feeling optimistic.  Nicki would be coming home, starting to get back to normal. He knew exactly what he wanted to do for their first real date. His heart felt like it was beating a mile a minute, but he was excited about what was to come. 

He called JC and gave him an update on everything. 

“That’s great man,” JC said. “You gonna take her out as soon as she gets out?”

“No, waiting til Sunday, I have it all planned out.”

“Bro, that’s a whole week away… you wanna wait that long?”

“Like I said, I have a plan. I’m sure I’ll come over to her place before that, talk on the phone.”

“Hoping it all works out for you. What’s your plan?”

“Help her rediscover her favorite things. Dude, there was a point last night, she held my hand, we looked into each other’s eyes. I wanted to kiss her SO bad, then someone knocks on the door and ruins the moment.”

“Sorry man. Hopefully you’ll get another chance on your date.”

“Me too.”

…

Nicki did well in her therapy evaluations. She could follow all their directions. 

“Well, we don’t see that you’d need any kind of physical therapy, you seem to have full range of motion, all of that,” one therapist said. 

“We’ll give our notes to your medical team to help get you home,” said the other. 

“Thank you,” Nicki said. 

The therapists left, and a few minutes later there was another knock at the door. Nicki hoped it was Dr. Hanover, but it was another doctor. 

“Parker, hi,” greeted Nicki. 

“Hi, Nicki. How are you today?”

“Good, they said I can hopefully go home tomorrow.”

“That’s great,” he said. Parker was 5’11”, with dark hair, brown eyes, and a natural tan complexion. A close representation of tall, dark, and handsome. “So, have you heard anything about coming back to work?”

“Not yet. I need to talk to them later today. If I can’t come back officially for a bit, I’d love to at least volunteer, get to know my patients again, hopefully I remember their names without having to look at their charts…”

“They’ll understand, I’m sure.  It would be great to see you around more, that’s for sure.  It hasn’t been the same the last few days.”

“I hope I’ll know more today.”

“Mind if I grab lunch and come back, we can hang out?”

“Not at all,” she said.

…

Justin’s phone buzzed, it was Heather. 

“Hey, what’s up?”

“I wanted to know what happened with you and Nicki,” she said. 

Justin told her about their impromptu dinner date, then breakfast that morning. 

“That’s great, Justin, I hope it works out ok.”

“Hey, did Nicki ever say anything about a guy named Parker from the hospital?”

“Ugh. He’s a womanizer, he’d hit on Nicki from time to time, making his way through the nurses. I went with her to a Christmas party one year and he totally hit on me. The guy’s a pig.”

“He was in her room while I grabbed dinner last night,” Justin said, irritated. 

“Shit. He’s probably gonna try and take advantage of Nicki’s memory loss and hit on her.”

“Heather, you gotta help me out…”

“I kinda told Nicki I don’t really meddle in who she dates, but if she asks I’ll be honest with her.”

“Tell her he hit on you, you think he’s a creep, the truth,” Justin’s voice was almost pleading. 

“Justin, you have a date with her coming up?”

“Yeah.”

“Stay in her life. Call or text her, just once a day unless she reaches out more. The more she thinks about you, the less she’ll think about him.”

“I hope so,” he sighed. “Now I’m scared I’ll lose her again.”

“I’ll see if I can manage a midweek movie night for you and JC to come over or something. We’re both pulling for you guys.  So, what’s your plan for the date?”

“You’re the third person to ask, Nicki being first, and JC earlier.”

“I’m her best friend. I can help tell you if she’ll love it.”

“I’m pretty sure she will…”

“Humor me, Justin.”

He sighed. “Fine.”  He then told her his general plan for the date, and the reasons behind each part. 

“Well I’ll be damned, Justin. You really are a romantic.”

“You’re surprised? What did you think my dates were like?”

“Not that I’d given that much thought to it, but it seemed Nicki did the walk of shame quite a bit…” she laughed. 

“I mean, I won’t deny that, but after 2 years together what would you expect, us to wait til we’re married?”

“I guess not. I’ve never been in a relationship that long where we didn’t talk about living together.”

“With my schedule, it was just better to keep you two as roommates and have her spend the night. I was on tour for a whole year, more or less, that’s a lot of time alone in that house. I was lucky I got her to take a week vacation time to be with me on tour to see her.”

“Ok, makes sense. Had you at least talked about it before coming to that decision?”

“Yes. I also told her I was hesitant after having lived with Britney. Being away left a lot of time to, well , you know.”

“But Nicki wouldn’t do that, you know that…”

“She was really understanding though. She has keys, so if she needed anything at my place or use my little gym, whatever, she had access while I was away.  I kept telling her moving in would make her sick of me in a week, as a joke of course.”

“I’d say that’s a red flag of not wanting to commit, but we know that’s not true.”

“She knew I loved her, trusted her,” he sighed. “I gotta go if all you have are backhanded compliments.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t get to know you all that well compared to Josh,  so sometimes I still have it in my head you’re this playboy that the media made you out to be.”

“Maybe I was, but that was before Nicki, people can change,” he said. 

“I know. Again, I’m sorry.”

“I gotta go.”

“Justin…”

He hung up in a huff. Is that really what she’s thought of me all these years? I know we were never all that close, but still, it hurts.

His phone buzzed with a text. 

I’ll have Nicki invite you over later this week. Sorry. Heather

 

I’m glad she’s on board with this, he thought. This could make or break everything. This could make or break ME…

Chapter 10

Justin’s phone buzzed, he answered the call. 

“Hello?”

“Yes, Mr. Timberlake, this is Dr. Hanover.  We wanted to let you know Nicole will be released some time tomorrow after my rounds in the morning. She’ll need someone to take her home.”

“Thank you,” Justin said. “Thank you for everything. Is there anything I need to do after she’s released?”

“Her life needs to be as normal as possible. Keep things as close to they were before. She’ll be able to volunteer at the hospital for a while, she’s been placed on a paid leave for now. Someone from her team has volunteered to pick her up and drop her off, but try and keep her outside of work life the same. I know she’s very important to you, so I’m sure you spent a lot of time together. I definitely want to encourage that so she hopefully gets more memories back, or at least develops an attachment that is close.”

“You’re pulling for me to win her back, aren’t you?” Justin smiled. 

“As I said, I know she’s important to you. Talking with her team, you were very important to her. I think she needs you in her life, no matter what happens next. With any luck, yes, we’re all pulling for you. I’m not one to spread office gossip, so I’ll leave it at that. I’ll see you tomorrow morning around 9, Mr. Timberlake.”

“Yes. Thank you, again.”  He hung up the phone. 

A few minutes later, his phone buzzed again. 

“Hi,” he answered with a smile. 

“Hi. Hope it’s ok that I called.”

“Totally ok,” he replied. 

“So they just told me I get to go home tomorrow.  They said I need someone to take me home. Heather has work, I was wondering if you could drive me,” Nicki asked. 

“Sure, but this won’t count as our date.”

“I didn’t say it would, I look forward to a proper date with you,” she smiled. 

“Even if it’s not til the weekend?” 

“I’d wait as long as it took.”

“Good to know. You kinda like me, don’t you?” he chuckled. 

“We’ll have to find out, won’t we?” she quipped. 

“What if I see you sooner?”

“Than tomorrow?” she laughed. 

“Between tomorrow and the weekend,” he replied. 

“I wouldn’t mind,” she smiled. 

“I’ll definitely see you tomorrow, for sure.”

“It was good to see you this morning. I’d ask you to come back, but I worry you’ll get sick of me.”

“That’s my line,” he laughed. 

“Is it? Well, I’m stealing it for now.”

“Not possible, so you know,” he assured her. “Would you like me to come over?”

“If it’s no trouble, otherwise I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Let me know when you order dinner and I’ll head over,” he laughed. 

“I will. See you soon Justin,” she smiled. 

“See you soon, Nicki.”

Justin busied himself around the house waiting for her to contact him. He watched some tv, listened to some music he’d discovered recently, anything to distract him and pass time. He suddenly had an idea, and got out his phone. 

Instead of hospital food, let me know what you want to eat and I’ll grab it on my way. 

Well, he thought, that makes it better than me bringing something in for me and her being sad mine looks better, even if it’s something simple. 

His phone buzzed. Surprise me. Go ahead and grab food, I’ll probably be hungry by the time you get here. See you soon. 

He smiled. He knew just the thing, one of her favorite guilty pleasures. He checked himself in the mirror before he left, and got in his car. He drove to a little hole in the wall restaurant, placed his order, then headed to the hospital. 

His frequent visits to Nicki meant the staff were watching him more, especially as word spread that they had been together. Nicki had kept that part of their relationship quiet at work. They watched him as he walked through the hospital, craning their necks to watch where he was going. He didn’t see, but they were all whispering to each other about Nicki and her famous visitor. 

He knocked on her door. “Come in,” she replied. 

“Dinner, as promised.”

“It smells amazing. You can just knock and come in, no need to wait for me to say something. Though the next time will hopefully be the last for a while. So, what smells so good?”

“There’s this great little Chinese food place. I got broccoli beef, General Tso’s chicken, potstickers, and some hot and sour soup. A little bit of everything.  They were great and split the soup for me into two smaller containers.”

“We could’ve shared…” Nicki said. 

You say that NOW… he laughed to himself. 

He dished her up a plate and gave her a container of soup. She tried a bite of everything before digging in. “Wow, this is great. Where’d you find it?”

“You told me about it when we first met. You’d ordered some for dinner one night when I was over for a movie.”

“Well, thanks for reintroducing me. This stuff is amazing. Yeah, I probably would’ve had all the soup if you’d let me.”

“I thought ahead,” he laughed. 

“I’m glad you came, it’s been boring here. Most of my friends just texted well wishes but didn’t come out, so it’s been kinda lonely between doctors and nurses coming in. I’m excited to go home, see what all I remember or rediscover.”

“I’m glad I had some down time. I’ve only been home for about 6 months.”

“Oh right, the music thing. Where were you before that?”

“I was on the road, did a bunch of shows.”

“Was it lonely?”

“A little. There’s the rest of the band, but it was great getting to perform.”

“Would I know any of your work?”

“You’re a fan, yes. That’s actually part of why Heather brought you to the party. You kinda begged her to go to see JC.”

“You and JC worked together on music?”

“We’ve been writing together and stuff for around 10 years.  That started once the other thing we did fell apart. We’d had this love of music and stuff that we worked together on things hoping to make it big someday. Next thing I know, we left Florida and were living out here.”

“Was it hard to be away from your family?”

“I still go back a lot, or my mom and stepdad will come out, but my mom was with me a lot before I turned 18. Once I was a legal adult she stepped back a little, but not much. Enough to let me do my own thing, mess up every once and again.”

He tried to make it sound more normal than it really was, having homes in several places, traveling a lot. 

“Wait, you’ve been working on music the last 10 years? How old are you?”

“I’ll be 24 in two weeks.”

“You’ve been doing music since you were 14?!”

“A little younger, but JC was helping me out a bit. Got my first bite of things when I was 14 though, yeah.”

“Small stuff, like local shows and stuff, right?”

“Something like that, yeah,” he lied. He knew telling her he was a teenage popstar would’ve just sounded crazy. Even he couldn’t believe where things had led him sometimes. 

“You said you moved TO Florida, where had you lived before that?”

“Tennessee, just outside of Memphis.”

“What was it like growing up there?”

They spent the next hour and a half talking about his childhood, where he grew up, his friends, favorite memories. He could have gone on forever. 

“Wow, look at the time. I know it gets dark early but I’ve been here a while…” he said. 

“I don’t mind,” she smiled. She slowly took his hand in hers. “I’ve liked our little dates, excited for the real thing.”

“Me too,” he blushed. 

“Still not telling me what we’re doing or where we’re going?”

“Nope. You’ll have to wait and find out. I just hope you like it as much as I think you will.”

“You’ll be there, I’ll like that.”

“I should probably go, visiting hours are probably over soon. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Can’t wait.”

He held her hand, looking into her eyes, pulling her hand up and kissing the back of her hand. 

“Sweet dreams, Nicole.”

“Good night, Justin.”

He left her room, closing the door behind him. They both sighed happily, excited to see each other in the morning. 

 

Justin went home and ran on the treadmill for a bit, trying to get some of the energy from the night out so he could sleep. Tomorrow is the first day of really sweeping her off her feet, he thought as he lay in bed, closing his eyes. 

Chapter 11

He woke up the next morning, excited to see Nicki and get to take her home. He showered, put on a grey v neck t-shirt, jeans, and white sneakers. 

He called Heather. “Hey, hope I’m not bothering you getting ready for work,” he said. 

“Oh I start in a few hours, I just told Nicki that hoping she’d call you to take her home. Help you out a bit more.”

“Thanks. I need your help. She’ll need something to wear to come home, not sure she’ll want to come home in what she wore that night, if it’s even salvageable. Can you pick out an outfit for her and I’ll pick it up on my way to the hospital?”

“Sure. That’s great thinking, actually.”

“I’m just full of surprises for you lately, aren’t I?”

“Sorry about yesterday, I…”

“Don’t even worry about it. You’re doing SO much to help me with all of this. I saw her again last night, she said she wouldn’t be opposed to seeing me later this week, we should definitely do a movie night. I’ll bring food, it’ll be great.”

“I’ll start picking out cheesy rom coms to get her mind in the right headspace,” Heather replied. 

“Start with an outfit, then the movie choices,” Justin laughed. 

“I’ll have them ready by the time you get here.”

He drove over to Heather’s, getting a bag of clothes from her before getting back on his way. He then picked up a coffee for her on his way to the hospital. As he walked in the hospital, he noticed more staff hanging around the halls on his way to see Nicki. 

He went to knock on her door, but it was already open. Parker sat in a chair he’d pulled close to Nicki’s bed. He stood up when he saw Justin walk in. 

“I’ll see you around, I’m glad they’re letting you volunteer,” he said, glaring at Justin as he walked out. Justin wanted to glare back, but Nicki was within his line of sight. The hairs on the back of Justin’s head stood on end to compensate for his lack of facial response. 

His eyes brightened as he looked at Nicki. “Good morning,” he smiled. “I brought you some things.”  He gave her the coffee first, which she excitedly accepted, enjoying that first taste. 

“What’s in the bag?” she asked. 

“I swung by your place and had Heather get some clothes for you to come home in. Wasn’t sure if they had what you were wearing the night of the accident.”

“The bag with all my stuff is in the closet, I hadn’t even thought about it.”

She got out of bed, pulling out the bag. She saw clothes in the bag. “It’s in here. Should I look at it?”

“Up to you. I can describe the outfit if you’d rather…” he suggested. 

“Let’s do that,” she agreed. 

“It’s a red dress, the top part around the shoulders is sheer, the dress stops at your knees. You were wearing heels, and a black coat with a belt around the waist.”

“So it was a fancy date,” she said. 

“Yes, it was.  You looked amazing.”

“I’ll have Heather look at it when she gets home, I’m worried seeing it as is might traumatize me.”

“It might, for either of us,” Justin said. 

“Right. I forgot you were there, definitely best to have Heather look at it.”  She quickly put the bag back in the closet, took the bag from Justin, and went into the bathroom to change.

She came out, wearing a purple top, dark jeans, and black ankle boots. The top made the green in her eyes pop, Justin smiled as she came out. 

“What’s the smile for?” she asked. 

“You. You’re beautiful,” he sighed. 

She blushed. “Thank you.”

She sat on the bed, drinking her coffee, waiting for Dr. Hanover.

“What did Parker want?” Justin asked. 

“He was just saying hi before his shift. He’s been dropping in as his schedule allows.”

Great, Justin thought to himself. His jaw clenched thinking about it.

Dr. Hanover walked into the room. “Good morning, let’s get you out of here Nicole.”

“I’d like that,” she nodded. 

“I have your discharge paperwork, just need you to sign after we go over it. Just details what happened, the treatment and tests we ran. There’s nothing you need to do after leaving, just live life. Some things have come back, more should slowly return. Get help from your friends on your regular schedule. I know you’ll be volunteering during the week, which is great. Hopefully your friends will help you fill in your nights and weekends.”  He glanced at Justin during his last comment. Justin nodded at Dr. Hanover. 

“We’re already on it,” Justin interjected. 

“Great. Nicole, just sign here and we’ll process this. A nurse will come with a copy of your paperwork and they have to have you leave in a wheelchair. Hospital policy for almost all of our inpatient discharges. I hope to see you around, Nicole, maybe in the cafeteria. You’re welcome to say hi around here, some of the staff have gotten attached to you.  It’s been my pleasure to be your doctor; here’s hoping I can now just be a colleague.  Have a great day Nicole, Justin.”

He left the room, closing the door behind him, leaving Justin and Nicki alone. I wanna kiss her, but this is not the time or place, he thought. 

“You wanna grab some breakfast on the way home? Not sure if you’ve eaten yet…” Justin said nervously. 

“I only had a muffin this morning, in case you asked. If you didn’t, I was going to.”

“Alright then. I know just the place,” Justin said. 

They waited for the wheelchair to come, Justin wheeling her down to the main entrance. He grabbed his car and drove up to help her get in. The bag with her clothes went into the trunk. He turned onto Wilshire Blvd, driving until he pulled into a parking lot in front of a little cafe, Amandine Patisserie and Cafe. 

They sat down at a table, looking over the menu. “Have I been here before?” Nicki asked. 

“You? Yes?  Me? No. You’ve brought pastries from here for me, but I’ve never been here.”

“Well, there goes having you order for me then.  If we like it, I guess we’ll just have to come back and try more of the menu…” Nicki said. 

“I guess so…” Justin smiled. 

Nicki ordered the Lorraine omelette and a chocolate croissant, Justin got the breakfast combo with a berry danish. 

“So, tell me more about growing up in Tennessee, I feel like there was more to say last night. What did you do for fun?”

“Played a lot of basketball, I got into golf a bit, but mostly basketball. Video games too, but not as much as sports, really get my energy out.”

“What got you to move to Orlando?”

“ I auditioned for a TV show. While we were there, my mom saw this other opportunity and I auditioned for that and got in. If I made it on the first audition for the TV show, I wouldn’t have even known about the other opportunity. I wouldn’t have met JC, my group of friends, any of this. My life would be completely different, and I am thankful it worked out the way it did.”

They spent more time talking about his younger days. Justin was used to being interviewed that he was able to be very calculated in what he said, not wanting to blow his cover. He knew at some point she’d find out, and she hoped it wouldn’t change what she thought about him. That she could see the man he was without the fame and hectic schedule. 

“I think if we stay here much longer they’ll charge us rent,” Justin laughed. “Mind if I take you home?”

“Only if you come in and stay a while,” she said. 

He nodded with a smile. “I think I can do that.”

They walked to his car, he opened her door for her, and headed to take Nicki home. Justin continued talking about his childhood, trying to sound as normal as possible. 

He parked in front of her place, letting her use her key to open the door. She stopped to look at all the pictures on the walls in their living room, then the hallway. Justin tucked her bag in Heather’s room for her to look at later. 

Nicki stood in front of her bedroom door, staring at it. Justin put a hand on her shoulder. “You ready?” he asked. 

“I have to at some point…” she sighed. She took a deep breath, swallowed hard, and turned the knob slowly. The door inched open, before finally opening all the way. 

“I don’t know why I am scared of my own room, it’s not like this is where the accident was…” she said. 

“No, but certain things might make memories come back that maybe you aren’t ready for.”

“I guess. The walls seem so empty. Not what I thought it would look like.”

Justin swallowed hard. Do I tell her the truth? He asked himself. 

He didn’t need the answer because she walked back down the hall before sitting on the couch. Justin followed behind at a distance. She smiled at him, patting the seat next to her. “You going to sit?”  He smiled and crossed the room to join her on the couch. 

“What now?” he asked. She turned her petite frame to face him. 

“Is it bad I want to just look into your eyes a while?” she replied. 

“That sounds nice,” Justin answered back. He turned to face her, their eyes locking. He felt a sense of calm wash over him. I could lose myself in her eyes, he thought. 

Why does this feel so familiar? Nicki wondered. Is there more to Justin and me? She slowly moved her hand towards his, lacing her fingers between his. 

Damn it, just kiss her, Justin! he thought. No, unless she kisses you first, save that for the end of your date.  His eyes stayed locked on hers, using his peripheral vision to look at her lips. Those beautiful lips, so soft, warm, inviting. I miss kissing her, but it’s too soon. 

“Thinking about something?” she asked. 

“Just you,” he answered honestly. 

She hummed slowly in response. She brought herself closer to him, she closed her eyes, moving slowly closer. 

Justin’s phone rang. For the love of God!  It was Johnny, he had to take the call. “Sorry, gotta take this,” he shrugged sheepishly in apology. 

Nicki sat as Justin walked down the hall talking on the phone. She got up and walked over to what she guessed was hers and Heather’s DVD collection. She looked through the titles, trying to remember which ones were her favorites compared to Heather. 

Justin walked back out into the living room. “That was my manager, he needs me at his office for a meeting. I’m sorry, Nicki.”

“It’s fine. I’ll see you soon?” she asked hopefully. 

“Definitely,” he replied. 

He hugged her, holding her close. It felt so good to hold her like that again. She looked up at him, and he tilted his face down to her. Nicki got on her tiptoes. “Until then,” she said, and kissed his cheek. 

 

He left feeling wonderful, yet sad that their moment had been cut short. I’ll see her soon, and I can call or text her. Sunday needs to hurry up and get here. 

Chapter 12

The next few days felt like torture for Justin. He’d talk to Nicki on the phone after work, but he didn’t want to be over all the time. He knew it would be difficult to wait until their date to kiss her. I want our new first kiss to be meaningful. It might bring her memory back and have the whole day be perfect. I mean, kissing her now would be great, but to end that date with a kiss, wow, he thought. 

Wednesday night came, and Nicki invited him over, at Heather’s suggestion. Justin grabbed Chinese from the restaurant he went to earlier in the week, getting a larger variety of food. 

He knocked on the door, hands full of bags of food. “Nicki, did we order Chinese for 10?” Heather laughed. “Come on in, Justin.”

Heather grabbed plates and utensils and Justin put the containers on the coffee table. “Jesus, you weren’t kidding when you said food for 10,” Nicki said when she saw all the food on the table. 

“I figured you wouldn’t mind leftovers,” he shrugged. “What’re we watching?”

Nicki went over to their DVD collection. “50 First Dates?”

“Umm, I’m not so sure on that Nicki…” Justin said cautiously. 

“Why?”

“You don’t remember what the story’s about?”

“I know it’s one of my more recent favorites, just not sure why.”

“I mean, yeah, it’s funny. But the girl has short term memory loss. I don’t want it bringing up anything bad…” Justin continued, his face showing worry, his eyebrows furrowed. 

“I’m getting more of my memory back, and I’ve got two of my best friends here if anything comes up.”

“In a way, we’re kinda living this movie, Justin,” Heather said. Trying to help her live her life after a car accident. She just remembers stuff that happened after. Nicki, if you’re sure, we’ll watch it.”

“If I have a problem, we can turn it off,” Nicki said. 

Nicki sat between Justin and Heather on the couch. They got their plates full of food and started to eat as they watched the movie. 

Nicki flinched during the scene showing the accident, turning towards Justin, burying herself in his chest. He wrapped his arms around her. Heather paused the movie. “Want me to fast forward a bit?” Heather asked. Nicki nodded, her head still against Justin’s chest. 

“Let us know when you’re ready. I’ll hold you as long as you need,” Justin said, stroking her hair and rubbing her back. Nicki stayed like this for about 5 minutes, silent tears streaming down her face, wetting Justin’s shirt. She slowly sat up. 

“Sorry about your shirt,” she said. 

“It’ll dry,” he said softly. 

“I think I’m ready to continue.”

Heather skipped ahead a little bit. They continued to watch the movie, grabbing more food as they were hungry. 

They got to the scene where Drew Barrymore’s character ends things with Adam Sandler’s character, in the middle of a storm. Between the rain, and Henry losing the girl, Justin fought back tears. Nicki noticed the look on his face, and slowly took his hand. This is my biggest fear, losing Nicki somehow in all of this, he thought. Nicki took his arm and wrapped it around her shoulder, holding his hand, lacing her fingers with his, and leaned into his body, resting her head on his shoulder. Things feel right, like they’re going back to normal.

The movie finished, and Heather got up to put the Chinese food away. Nicki and Justin sat together on the couch even after the movie finished. Justin pressed his head against Nicki’s, enjoying the moment. 

Nicki looked at her phone and realized she had a voicemail. She stopped and listened to it, sitting up. “The tow yard needs me to get my stuff out of the car so insurance can finish the claim to total it.  I don’t know if I can handle that…” she sighed, her voice quivering. 

“I’ll do it,” Justin said. 

“I’ll see if JC can go with you. It might stir up some trauma for you to see it as much as it would Nicki,” Heather offered. 

“Thank you,” Nicki said. “I gotta get to bed, this has been fun but also a bit draining, and I volunteer again in the morning.”

Justin walked her to her bedroom door. “I’ll see you Sunday for our date?” he asked. 

“Definitely, but I’d like to see you before then. That’s 4 days away.”

“Whenever you want me to come over, let me know. I’m in a bit of downtime right now, staying around the area, so I am definitely around if you need me.”

“Thanks. Just don’t want you to be…”

“Sick of you?” he interjected. “Never.”  He lifted her chin up, and gently kissed her cheek. “Good night Nicki. We’ll talk soon.”

He walked back out towards the front door. “Looks like you two were getting cozy, like old times,” Heather smiled. 

“It’s definitely feeling that way. We’ll see after Sunday. I’m trying so hard to wait to kiss her til then, so everything is perfect.”

“I like seeing this more romantic side of you, Justin.”

“What do you mean? Nicki and I were so cute we made you sick…” Justin responded. 

“You guys were all over each other, it was like ‘her bedroom’s down the hall’.”

“Sorry if we made you feel uncomfortable,” Justin sighed. 

“Maybe you’ll be more mindful moving forward. Tonight was cute seeing you too together.”

“We’ll, I’m gonna go. See you around, I told Nicki to invite me over anytime she wants.”

“See ya. I’ll call JC in the morning about going to get her stuff with you.”

Justin nodded as he walked out the door, putting on his jacket in the cool winter night air. Even for California, it was a little chilly. He got in his car and drove home. He could almost still feel Nicki’s body against his. Things felt good, as he drove with a smile and images of her in his head. 

…

The next morning, Justin woke up to a knock at the front door. Mostly asleep, he saw a text and missed call from JC. He hopped out of bed to answer the door. 

“Hey,” Justin yawned as he answered the door. 

“Glad to know you don’t sleep naked at home, but go get dressed, man,” JC said. 

“Gimme like 10 minutes to shower and dress, I’ll be right out.”  JC walked down the hall, looking at the different pictures and things on the walls. He smiled at a picture of the two of them with the rest of *NSYNC and Shaq. 

Those were the days, JC thought to himself. 

Justin came out in a graphic t-shirt, jeans, sneakers, and a baseball cap. “Let’s go. Can we grab coffee on the way?”

“It’s in the car. You didn’t answer my text or call on my way over, but grabbed something for you anyway.”

“Thanks man,” Justin said, closing and locking the front door behind them. “You driving?”

“Yessir, especially with what you’re gonna be looking at.  Hopefully no flashbacks, but understandable if you do.”

Justin got into JC’s car. “Just like the old days, it seemed you were always the one driving out of the five of us.”

“Well, Lance was barely old enough to drive, you couldn’t even have a permit, and no WAY did I trust Chris or Joey…”

“Ok, ok, yeah. I guess that makes sense.”

They talked a bit about the unofficial dates he and Nicki had had, how everything felt like it was leading in the right direction. Soon they got to the tow yard, lots of cars in various states of conditions. Some almost brand new, some almost unrecognizable as cars. 

Justin saw the back of her car from a distance, pointing towards it. “I think as long as I go from the passenger side, I’ll be ok.”

They slowly walked closer. Justin did his best to avert his eyes so he wasn’t even looking at the car as they approached. The passenger side door he’d used trying to get to her that night was still unlocked, so he didn’t need his key. He sank down to sit in her car. 

He opened the glove box, handing JC some CDs, her iPod and cord, lip gloss, and a pair of sunglasses. He checked the door for anything and found an umbrella. All that was left was the center console and the driver’s seat. He looked in the center console and found a book she had been reading, a pack of gum, and a small bottle of perfume. Angel, that was her favorite perfume. 

He slowly looked up, and saw Nicki’s side of the car. The door had been fully removed, the airbag cut out, everything crunched from impact. 

“No, no, no, no…” Justin said, as memories of that night came back. Seeing her car smashed in the rain, then trying to wake her up. Everything flooded back to him, he threw up in response of the overwhelming flood of emotions as he felt it all hit him. 

“Ok, you’re clearly done here…” JC said, pulling Justin out of the car. JC went in and did a quick check, holding his breath. He checked her visors and pulled out a picture. JC got out of the car, took a deep breath, and said, “you’re gonna want this.”  He handed the picture to Justin. 

“Heather took this picture at your party,” Justin smiled. “Like she knew we’d end up together.”

“She came to see ME, ended up leaving with YOU,” JC laughed. Justin gave him a look. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”  Justin nodded and they left. 

“I’ll hold on to these for our date, pull them out as she needs them,” Justin said. 

“You gonna see her before your date?” JC asked. 

“I’m trying to keep the ball in her court, I don’t wanna seem like I’m coming on too strong…”

“Man, you were with her for two YEARS before this. I’m sure it’s killing you not to see her…” JC replied. 

“It is, but we talk on the phone after she gets home, so it’s something.”

“She’s volunteering at the hospital, right?”

“Yeah. That way she’s familiar with patients, hoping things come back so she doesn’t have to do med school all over again. Not sure what the protocol is if you already have the degrees and something like this happens.”

“Parker isn’t still there, is he?” JC asked, tension in his voice and face. 

“YOU know about Parker?!”

“Heather went with Nicki to a party at the hospital one year. Let’s just say as the older brother, this guy better hope I never see him.”

“Woah. What happened?”

“I know Heather can hold her own, but she had a couple drinks and he got rather friendly. After Heather told him no, he kept pushing, then started asking about Nicki. Thank God you two were together already, but I think you were on tour or something that you couldn’t come. I mean, typical guy, but we know better now. When this stuff happens to your sister, it’s a bit of an ‘oh shit’ realization that changes you.”

“Fuck, he probably sees her every day. Damn it, now I wanna see her every day to stay in her head. But how do I do that without coming off as jealous? I mean, if the accident never happened it would be a non-issue, he’d stay away if he knows what’s good for him. But now that she thinks she’s single, she might just fall for him. FUCK!”

“Relax. Yes, it’s possible, but would she keep a date with you if she was interested in someone else?” JC asked. 

“I guess not, no.”  

“As long as she doesn’t cancel your date, you’re still in this.”  JC pulled up to Justin’s driveway. 

“Yeah. Thanks man.  Thanks for today, everything. Talk to you soon.”

“Just not before you talk to Nicki again…” JC answered as Justin got out of the car. 

He looked at his watch. 11:30. He had an idea, pulling out his phone. 

Hey, you want me to come over to see you on your lunch? He texted to Nicki. 

A couple minutes later, she responded. Sure. I don’t really have a set schedule here, so I can take as much time as I want. I’d love to see you.

I’ll be there in a bit. Where should I meet you? Cafeteria or Nurse’s Station in your ward?

Nurse’s Station is fine, we can figure out food from there. 

See you soon Nicki. 

Justin felt excited, glad she wanted to see him. He got in his car and drove over. He’d met her at work before, so he knew just where to go and wait for her. She was standing by a door, looking into a patient room, when he got there. She was in a set of lilac scrubs, her hair pulled back. He smiled at the sight of her. She turned to leave, saw Justin’s smiling face, and smiled back. 

Justin had to keep smiling as he saw Parker walk out of the room she had been at. Of course he has her shadowing him, he thought, focusing hard to keep the smile on his face. Parker saw Justin, and his face tensed up, brows furrowed and his jaw clenched. 

Justin greeted her with a hug and kiss on the cheek, wrapped an arm around her as they walked towards the elevators. “Where to?” he asked. 

“I was thinking that little bakery you took me to on Monday. Try some more of their menu.”

“Let’s head over then.”  They got in Justin’s car and drove over to the bakery. They sat down at a table and looked over the menu. Nicki decided on a turkey and avocado sandwich, just got a ham and cheese sandwich and a delice au chocolat for dessert. 

“So what are they having you do?” Justin asked. 

“I follow a doctor around on rounds in the morning, then circulate to help the nurses with small tasks, I read to the kids, different things as needed.”

“Are you usually with Parker, or other doctors too?”

“Mostly Parker, but a few others based on who’s on that day and that shift.  Thank you for texting me, I was getting a little tired of cafeteria food, this will be a good break. Of course the company is nice, too.”

“Is this helping bring back memories as far as work? I know you’d been worried about that.”

“Kinda, yeah. They’re not having me help with too much right now but I’m seeing a lot so that’s helping. Just hope I can remember it all when I need to actually do it, ya know?”

“If it’s starting to come back, I’m sure you’ll get there eventually. Just gotta take things one day at a time.”

“Thank you,” Nicki said. 

“For what?” Justin asked. 

“Being so patient with me. I’m sure it hasn’t been easy dealing with me not remembering certain things. Waiting so long for our date…”

“Hey, I’M the one that wanted our date this weekend, I’d wait as long as I had to for a date with you. If you were in the hospital for 6 months, I’d wait that long for you, Nicki.”

Nicki smiled. “You really like me, don’t you?”

“You just now figured that out? Was I too subtle before?” Justin laughed. “What about you?”

“I like spending time with you. Last night was nice, being able to snuggle up to you, how you held me when I had that moment.”

“I’m here whenever you need me,” Justin said, looking into her eyes. “I’m just a call or text away.”

“I like talking to you after I get home, it helps me feel close even if I can’t see you.”

“I feel the same way.”

“What took me so long, before?”

“For what?”

“Going on a date with you…”

“It took less time than you think it did.”

“Well, I’m still looking forward to it on Sunday. I wish it was sooner, but I’m sure you have your reasons.”

“I do. It’ll all make sense by the end of the night.”

“Trying to sweep me off my feet?” she asked. 

“Isn’t that the general idea?” he laughed. 

They got their food, talking as they ate, doing more talking than eating.

“Is this why we’re friends, you’re so easy to talk to?” Nicki asked. 

“It’s definitely a perk, and how I know you so well,” he answered. 

“I’m getting to know you, too,” she smiled. “You know, again.”

“No memories of me yet?” he asked.

She shook her head.  “Just a sense of calm, feeling happy when I see you. Like, my entire mood changes when I look at you or even think about you.”

“That’s a step in the right direction,” he said. 

“You can’t tell me more than that?” she asked, giving her best puppy dog eyes. 

“No. This all has to happen organically, so I’m not forcing memories on you and you do things out of guilt.”

“I guess you’re right, but I feel like I need more to try and get my memories back.”

“Then wait until Sunday, that’s all I’m gonna say.”

Nicki looked at her watch. “We’ve been gone almost two hours!  I probably should get back. This is what I mean though, it’s so easy for two hours to go by and feel like ten minutes.”

“That’s a good thing, though, so I’m not gonna fight it.”

“I’m definitely not fighting it,” she smiled. 

They walked back to his car and drove back to the hospital. As they got closer, Justin asked, “am I just dropping you off or can I walk you in?”

“I’ll take as much time as I can, walk me in.”  Justin parked in a spot and walked Nicki up to her ward of the hospital. Parker was at the Nurse’s Station when they walked in. Now it was Parker’s turn to fake a smile as Nicki walked in beside Justin. Justin and Nicki hugged, holding the embrace long enough to make Parker uncomfortable. Nicki kissed him on the cheek, Justin kissed hers in return. 

 

“I’ll talk to you tonight,” Justin smiled. As Nicki walked away, he snarled at Parker. If anyone’s gonna win her over, it’s gonna be me. Oh fuck…

Chapter 13

Justin and Nicki talked every night the rest of the week. He decided not to see her at work to avoid seeing Parker. As much as he liked rubbing it in Parker’s face that he was still very much in her life, he hated seeing her with him at work. 

It was Sunday morning, and Justin was excited for their date. He showered, wore a black polo shirt, jeans, and black sneakers. He packed a bag of things he knew they’d need for the day and put it in the trunk. 

He texted Nicki. Let me know when you’re ready, I’ve got a full day planned. Can’t wait to see you. 

Nicki replied, I couldn’t sleep, so I’ve been ready for a bit, just need some finishing touches. See you soon. 

I’ll head over soon. Can’t wait to see you. 

He got in his car and headed over to Heather and Nicki’s. He walked to the front door, nervous butterflies in his stomach. I’ve had unofficial lunch dates with her this last week, why am I so nervous NOW? Is it wondering what she’ll wear, if she’ll like everything?  He knocked on the door, and Heather answered the door. 

“She’ll be ready in a sec, you know us girls,” Heather teased. Justin stood by the door, then suddenly wished he’d taken a seat on the couch. When he saw Nicki, he almost tripped over himself, suddenly overcome with her beauty. 

She was wearing almost the same outfit as the night they met. Black shirt, dark jeans, long silver necklace. She opted for black ankle boots instead, her hair pulled back into a side braid, makeup all done up. Seeing her literally took his breath away. 

“Wow,” he gasped. A smile crept across her face. 

“Not so bad yourself,” she said, walking towards him. “You ready?”

“You have no idea…” he replied. 

They waved goodbye to Heather, letting Nicki walk out first before Justin closed the door behind him. He opened her car door for her, closing it once she got in and buckled up. He got into the driver’s seat, buckled up, but waited to start the car. He opened his center console, pulling out her iPod and cable. “I thought you might want this back, I got it from your car.  Maybe we can listen to what’s on it today?” he suggested. 

“Sounds great,” she answered. 

“I’ll hook it up, turn it on, and press play and see what plays.”  At that point he almost regretted saying that, as “It’s Gonna Be Me” started playing. He had to hide a smirk, resist rolling his eyes or making a face. Two years together and she still listens to it. I guess that’s to be expected from my number one fan…

Nicki listened to it, bobbing her head along with it. “This is good, seems familiar somehow. Do you know it?”

Justin had to stifle a laugh. “Oh yeah, I’ve heard it a time or two… Just don’t ask me to sing along.”

“Whatever. I like it.”

“It IS your iPod, so yeah…”

Justin drove for a bit, listening to what was clearly a mix of *NSYNC and his solo record. He pulled into a large parking lot. “Stop number one.  You ready?” he asked, looking at Nicki. 

“Kinda have to be, don’t I?”  He opened her door, and led her into a big farmers market. They walked past stands selling produce and crafts, to a section marked “Malibu Flower Market”. 

“I figured I’d let you choose your bouquet of flowers. That way in case you have a new favorite, I can remember.”  She grabbed his arm, walking close to him looking at all the different varieties of flowers. 

She stopped at the different lilies, seeing calla lilies and stargazer lilies. “These, a mix of these two, please.”  He picked out some of both kind, taking them to the florist to wrap and purchase. 

“It’s not a first date without flowers, so now it’s official,” he said, giving Nicki the bouquet. “Beautiful flowers for a beautiful woman.  These have always been your favorites, just so you know.” Nicki smiled and blushed as he led her back to the car. 

He drove a short distance before arriving at the Sparrow Cafe. “Brunch?”  Nicki nodded. They got a table, browsed the menu before ordering. She got French toast with strawberries and a Cappuccino, Justin the Belgian waffle with strawberries and an Americano. 

“Have I been here before?” Nicki asked. 

“No, but it’s on the way to our next stop, and you’ll need some food first.  Ok date so far?” he replied. 

“Cute guy, bought me flowers, getting breakfast. Yeah, I’d say we’re off to a good start,” she smiled. 

“This next stop, have I been there before?”

“I think so?  I know I heard about it somewhere, and it’s on our way to another stop. I know WE haven’t been there before, but I thought it might be something you’d like.”

“I’d say you really know me, but I don’t even know me right now.”

Justin sighed. “That’s what today is. Mostly date, partly helping you find yourself again.”

They finished eating their food and soon headed to their next spot. It was a beautiful winery with amazing landscaping and architecture. “This is the Rosenthal Winery in Malibu. I think they did a hospital benefit or something here, that maybe you told me about it after.”

“Why weren’t you with me? Is that something we would’ve gone to together?”

“Maybe, but I was probably out of town or something. The last year has been crazy schedule wise, so I’ve had more downtime recently. I would have gone if I was around and you asked me, yes.”

They walked the grounds for a bit before going into the tasting room. “We’ve gone wine tasting before, so I thought you might enjoy the whole experience here.”

They tried a few of the wines being offered. Nicki settled on the rosé and Sauvignon blanc as her favorites. “They’re on the drier side than I like, but I like the flavors more than the reds,” she said. 

“You are picky with wines, you prefer cocktails, but you feel it’s classier to go wine tasting than buy a bunch of drinks.  We can walk around a little bit before our next stop.”

“I’m ok with staying around here a bit, it’s a nice day.”  They walked around, sat by the pool, and talked some more before going to their next stop. 

He pulled up to D’Amore’s Italian Restaurant and Pizzeria. Justin had Nicki pick what pizza to get, going with their chicken supreme, no artichoke. They got the pizza to go, got in the car, and continued on their way. 

“Last major stop, but it’s gonna be a bit messy. I have some stuff in the trunk to help a bit.”  He pulled onto a side street off the highway, along a long stretch of parking lot. Out Nicki’s window she saw the ocean, and started to get excited. 

“Are we going to the beach?!”

“Does this look familiar?”

“Somewhat…”

“This is your favorite beach. We’ll be here for a bit for you to see why.”  He parked the car, and pulled her sunglasses out of his center console.  He grabbed a bag out of the trunk of the car. 

“You have two choices- we can go barefoot once we get to the sand, or I have some sandals. We can put our shoes in the bag either way.”

“Hmmm, barefoot has a certain appeal, let’s do that,” Nicki decided. 

They walked to the end of the parking lot, put their shoes in the bag, and walked barefoot in the sand. They found a spot, Justin took out a large blanket from the bag, and spread it out on the sand. They sat together on the blanket, eating their pizza and they watched kids playing in the sand and waves, dogs chasing sticks and frisbees, and games of volleyball. 

“I’m guessing I like to people watch here?” she asked. 

“That’s part of it, yeah. Just wait for the rest,” he said. 

They sat the next couple hours, enjoying the shade they had for a bit. The sun started to set, families going home with tired children, surfers packing up their surfboards and gear. Justin stood up on the blanket, holding out his hand. “Care for a walk along the beach?”

She took his hand, and they walked barefoot at the edge of the ocean, the waves rolling over their feet before going back out. Nicki splashed Justin with a kick of water, he returned the gesture, both of them laughing. They kept walking slowly, and Nicki held his hand. The sun continues to set, the sky a brilliant mix of red, orange, pink, and purple, streaks of clouds in the sky. 

“This place is beautiful…” Nicki said in a gasp of awe. 

“This is your favorite part of this beach, the sunsets.”  

“Sorry if it’s too painful, but tell me about the big breakup you went through?”

He knew he’d probably have to come back to that topic, especially if she never got her full memory back. He would just leave out certain parts. “We we’re together for a long time, lived together. We’d kinda grown up together. I met her when I met JC in Orlando, we reconnected a few years later and that was it. She cheated on me. She didn’t even tell me about it, I found out from something left for her from the guy she was cheating on me with. I was devastated. It took me a bit to even think about dating again.”

“What helped you get over her?”

“Time. Then I met you, the first time. I saw you at the party, how beautiful you were, and that was it.”

“That’s terrible, the breakup and what happened, but also terribly romantic that I made you believe in love again.”

Justin stopped to face her. He pulled her close and kissed her slowly, gently; a soft ocean breeze against them, waves lapping at their feet. 

“Wow,” Nicki breathed in. “That was… perfect.  Not gonna lie, I’d been curious what that would be like, hoping you’d kiss me every time I saw you, but that, now, was just...wow.”

“Yeah,” Justin sighed happily. “The beach closes at sunset, so we gotta get going now. That officially ends my plans for the date. Think about if you wanna go home or if you wanna go somewhere else.”

They got their things and walked back to the car, putting their shoes back on in the parking lot. He opened her door and got into the driver's seat. “Any thoughts on where to now?” he asked. 

“Show me your place?” Nicki suggested. 

“Grab dinner first?” Justin asked. 

“I’m still full from the pizza,” she answered. 

Justin headed towards his house, making small talk about Nicki’s volunteering and things with Heather as he drove. He pulled into his driveway, and her jaw dropped. 

“You live HERE?! You must do well with your music…”

“I do alright, yeah…. Let’s head inside.”

He gave her a short tour, before sitting down on the couch. “So, what now?” she asked. 

“I’m not sure. I hadn’t planned beyond the beach,” Justin said. 

“I have an idea,” Nicki said. 

“Yeah?” Justin replied. 

Before he could say another word, Nicki kissed him deeply. She melted into his arms, her hands running slowly down his arms before breaking the kiss. “I know tonight is technically a first date, but we went on at least a few dates before the accident as best I can figure, that kiss was amazing, and you’ve been so patient with me…”

“What are you trying to say, Nicki?”

She leaned in close to him before whispering, “make love to me, Justin.”

“Are you sure? I mean…”

“Don’t you want to?” she asked seductively. 

“Well, yeah, but…”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

Justin kissed her, slowly but passionately. “Here or the bedroom?” he asked between kisses. 

“Wherever, make this a night I’ll never forget…”

He scooped her up in his arms, kissing her as he walked to the bedroom. He gently laid her down on the bed before he got undressed. Nicki watched him from the bed, pulling his shirt off over his head, seeing his six pack, his arm muscles flexing as he moved. He undid his jeans, stepping out of his jeans to reveal his boxers. He climbed onto the bed, straddling her legs as she sat on the bed. 

He kissed her lips, his tongue seeking entrance passed her lips. Nicki granted permission, a moan humming against his lips. He lifted her shirt over her head, revealing a lacy black bra covering her ample sized breasts. His hands wandered over her body as he kissed her, his warm hands sending chills over her body with his touch. He reached behind her back and unhooked her bra, giving his hands more skin to touch. She moaned again against him. He pushed her jeans down, revealing her black lace thong. His hands surveyed her body as if it was their first time, like he didn’t know every inch of her body and how to cause her exquisite ecstasy. 

His lips continued to kiss her, traveling between her lips, neck, and chest.  His fingers went further south, teasing her body with his touch. He pulled away and looked in her eyes, silently asking permission. She nodded, kissing him deeply, her tongue dancing against his. His fingers moved between her legs, and a deep, low moan escaping her lips against his. He knew just where and how to touch her, and before she knew it, she felt a final wave of ecstasy wash over her at his touch. 

He broke the kiss. “You’re sure you want this, now?” he asked. 

“Don’t you dare stop now. This is amazing, I need this. Yes, Justin, I’m sure.”

He removed her thong, then his boxers, keeping her at the edge of the bed. He grabbed a condom from his nightstand. She moaned as he entered her, keeping a slow pace, looking in her eyes. It was like no time has passed, the same look in her eyes that had always been there. Something soft, gentle, yet also full of need and desire. His pace got faster, wrapping her legs around his waist. He kept the pace until he couldn’t take it anymore and came with a shudder, kissing her one last time deeply. 

“If we’ve done this before, I’m a fool for forgetting anything like what just happened. Oh my God, that was amazing. If it was our first time, I’m glad it was tonight.”

“I’ll never tell, letting tonight be whatever you want it to be,” he said, before kissing her again. 

Nicki put her underwear back on before curling up against him. “What it was was perfect,” she smiled, wrapping an arm around him. “You put so much thought into everything, it was a great second first date. I just wish it had brought back memories from before. Now, can you tell me more about before the accident?”

“No. I wish I could, but I don’t want you to feel you have to fit what you were if that’s not what you are now just to make anyone happy. That could even go for being at the hospital. If you find something you enjoy more now, do it.”

“Like your card said…” Nicki sighed. Justin gave her a confused look. “The card you gave me in the hospital. You said you hope I find happiness in all of this. That you’d do what you could, if I let you…”

“Right. I mean it. Anything I can do to help make you happy, especially if it brings back old memories. If not, we just make new ones.”

“Well, this was a pretty great one, off to an amazing start.  Can we just lay here like this for a while? This feels familiar somehow.”

 

“Fine by me, beautiful,” he said, holding the hand lying across his stomach. He turned and looked in her eyes. Damn, I still get lost in her eyes. This was an amazing day, then she gives me an amazing night…

Chapter 14

Nicki’s phone buzzed early the next morning. It rings several times before she wakes up and answers the phone.

“Hey, Heather…” she yawns into the phone, waking up Justin. 

“Where the hell are you? PLEASE tell me you’re at Justin’s…” she’s yelling, but whispering. 

“Yeah, I’m at Justin’s,” she smiled. “Why are you so mad?”

“Because PARKER is here to pick you up for your shift!! Your alarm woke me up cause it kept going off. Once I got fed up enough of hearing it, I got up and saw you weren’t home. I figured you’d had a late night with him, but that you came home and were sleeping through your alarm.”  

“Sorry my alarm woke you. As for the other thing, hold on.”  Nicki saw that Justin was half awake. 

“My ride is at the house to take me to the hospital. Obviously I’m not there. Can you take me by the house to get some scrubs, then to the hospital?”  He nodded, groaned, and got out of bed. 

“Heather, say I’m running late, I overslept and will find another way there. Sorry again.”

“At least I’m getting more of Nicki back…” Heather sighed. 

“I did this kinda thing a lot?”

Shit, Heather thought. “No, you just ran late a lot. But at least then you could drive yourself,” she lied. 

“Ok. Thanks for calling Heather, talk to you later. I’ll swing by to get clothes and change at the hospital.”  Nicki hung up the phone. 

“You could just go in late, take a half day, or not go in at all. It’s volunteering, you’re on paid leave…” Justin said, hoping to have her stay longer. Having to take her to Parker after what happened with her last night? Torture. 

“They need me, Justin. Until I come back they’re one nurse short, even when I’m there they’re still short staffed because I can’t do my usual workload. I’d feel too guilty. As much as I’d love to repeat last night again, I can’t be selfish.”

An unconscious *NSYNC pun. That’s my girl… he laughed to himself. He got dressed in a hurry, getting Nicki into the car and to her place to get scrubs. She ran in, and was back out to his car in under 2 minutes. He drove to the hospital. 

“I know you’re in a hurry, do you want me to just drop you off in front?”

“You can walk me in, finish our date with one last kiss.”

He smiled as he parked, holding her hand as they walked through the hospital. Parker was at the nurses station when they walked in. Justin gave Nicki a kiss on the lips, more than a peck but enough for Parker to see. Parker snarled at Justin, Justin just smiled at Parker with a shit eating grin. “Bye Nicki, I had a great time yesterday.”  He said it loud enough he hoped Parker could hear. 

Justin walked off, and one of the nurses noticed Nicki carrying her scrubs. “Have a good night?” she asked, giving Nicki a wink. 

“Is it that obvious?” Nicki blushed. 

“Girl, you’re blushing, your smile is a mile wide, you’re holding your scrubs, and he walks you in saying he had a great time…”

“We went on this really romantic date, it was amazing,” Nicki gushed. “I gotta change and get on things, but yeah, it was a good night.”

Parker was fuming, his fists clenched holding his pen and clipboard. One of the nurses walked up to him. “You really didn’t think you were gonna get under her skin and in her panties, did you?”

…

JC called Justin early that afternoon. “So, how did it go?” JC teased. 

“She loved it. Thought it was super romantic, all thought out. She stayed the night…”

“Did you…?” JC asked. 

“Twice,” Justin blushed. 

“Man, I told you there was nothing to worry about. I figured it had to be good if Heather texted me that you owe her for covering for Nicki.”

“I had to take her to volunteer because she missed her ride.  Gave smug little Parker a reality check when I walked her in.”

“You did not…”

“I kissed her, told her I had a great time yesterday, and gave Parker a big old shit eating grin. No one is stealing my woman away.  He should know to stay away from her now.”

“Is she coming to your party this weekend?” JC asked. 

“She said she would. Hoping for another date on my birthday…”

“Hey, don’t lose sight of things just because you’re figuring out the next time you’re gonna get laid...”

“You know it’s more than that. It feels like we’re on the right track, even if she doesn’t remember before. She’s definitely becoming more of herself. I played her iPod on our date. It was so hard to listen to a mix of *NSYNC and my solo stuff without either cringing, bobbing my head, or singing along with her and giving away who I am. It’s getting harder to keep that side of me from her, so she can love me for me, not my fame.”

“You know that wasn’t how it was…” JC chided. 

“It was a little, it took some convincing I wasn’t this playboy the media made me out to be. I had to work to gain her trust at first, that I was all in. I’ve been all in ever since.”

“Well, I’m glad it went well, I’ll see you at your party. Talk to you later.”  JC said as he hung up. 

Justin had a lot to figure out for the party Saturday night.  There was food, drinks, music, everything he should have been doing instead of being with Nicki. I’m gonna look like some last minute asshole, but I wouldn’t trade the extra time I’ve had with Nicki for anything. It’ll all be worth it to see her happy. 

…

Heather texted Nicki in the afternoon. You SO owe me for this morning. And Parker is the one driving you to and from work?

Yeah, he’s really nice. Kinda cute, nice to look at. 

You spent the night at Justin’s…

It’s nothing. A girl can’t look? He’s just being nice...

If you say so. He was a huge jerk the last time I ran into him.

He’s nice, maybe you caught him on an off day or something. Can’t be perfect all the time. 

Like Justin? What all did you do yesterday?

I’ll tell you tonight. It was so romantic, then when we got back to his place- wow!

I’ll grab pizza and wine on the way home. Tell me EVERYTHING…

Nicki smiled thinking about their date. I can’t wait to see him again, I think I could fall for him…

…

Justin called her that night, but she didn’t answer while talking with Heather. She sent him a text. 

Talking with Heather, I’ll call you later, not ignoring you ;)

About an hour later, Nicki called Justin back. 

“Hey beautiful,” Justin answered. 

“Hey yourself. Pretty good rest of the day?” she asked. 

“Yeah, getting stuff set up for the party on Saturday. Catering, all the fun stuff.”

“Will I get to see you before then?” she asked. 

“I certainly hope so. That’s a long time from now after such a great date.”

“I’m glad you had fun, too. I know how much work and thought you put into it.”

“I always have a good time when I’m with you. Wow, I can almost hear you blush…”

“How did you know?” she asked, surprised. 

“I know you that well.”

“Apparently. I’m getting to know you better, I like that.”

“I like that, too,” he smiled. “So when can I see you again?”

“Tonight is Monday, what about Wednesday nights?  Make it a standing movie night?”

“Wednesday nights it is. I’d like a weekend night too if you can swing it, spend the night without worrying about an alarm the next morning.”

“Threatening me with a good time…” she laughed. 

“It’s no threat, it’s a promise,” he quipped. “What do you think?”

“We’ll see, we’ll see. Date nights? Sure. Spending the night, we’ll see.”

“Ok. I get a movie night and date night. Great.  Can I see you beyond that?”

“Damn, you really like me, trying to spend time with me. I can still call you every night, but keep an open invite over whenever. I can text or call you with some warning so you aren’t surprised.”

“I can let you know if I have anything going on like being in the studio and whatnot so we can plan around things.  I’d rather them be spotaneous, because we want to see each other, but it won’t always be that way. I wish I could say that.”

“Was it like that before the accident?” she asked. 

“Yeah. I was on tour for about a year. I called and texted every day, tried to get you to come to shows and take a break but you wanted to be there for your team at work.”

“I guess I really am the same me,”

“Yup,” he laughed. 

“Well, I need to get to bed, but thanks for letting me call you back. See you Wednesday?”

“Talk to you tomorrow,” he smiled. 

…

The next day, Nicki had lunch with Parker in the hospital cafeteria. 

“So, you’ve been close with Justin lately, he came to your room while you were here, he’s dropped you off or picked you up. You spending a lot of time together?”

“Kinda, yeah. I call him every night and we talk, we’ve done lunch dates and a movie night, had our first big date on Sunday.  I had been on a date with him the night of the accident.”

“But he wasn’t hurt? That doesn’t sound right…”

“We took different cars.”

“Why? He should’ve driven you, especially on a night like that.”

“Heather said my shift ran late that night, I rushed home so I could change and meet him. It would’ve been rude to make him wait like that if I wasn’t even home.”

“I don’t think so. If he was a REAL gentleman, he’d have picked you up and waited. Mustn’t have been that important of a date.”

“Well, I guess it wasn’t our first date, so maybe that’s why…” Nicki said in Justin’s defense. 

“Does he not like Heather? I wonder if they ever hooked up and it’s weird around her,” Parker hissed. 

“No, Heather said she’s known him a long time, she’d never really thought of him like that. He’s a really nice guy once you get to know him. He put so much thought into our date, he’s not some jerk.”

“I dunno, I heard he was this big playboy type, all these different girls…”

“He told me his girlfriend cheated on him. Why would he do something like that?” she asked. 

“What better revenge than for his ex to see him with all these different women? I mean, really…”

Nicki shook it off as best she could. 

“I’m just looking out for you is all. I don’t wanna see you get hurt.  Think what you will, but don’t say I didn’t warn you…”

They got back up to their ward after lunch. Nicki waited for him to step away before talking to a nurse. “Parker told me Justin is this playboy, all these girls in his life. Is that true?”

“I mean, he’s a musician, there’s bound to be fans and groupies, but since meeting you? No. We all could tell how much you meant to him while you were here after the accident. There’s no way he’d be like that, especially after HER…”

“You know about that?!” Nicki asked, surprised. 

“You told me when you first met him,” she recovered. “Parker’s just jealous that you met Justin before him.”

“Parker’s been so nice to me, driving me to and from here, having me follow him around on his rounds…”

“Think about why he might do that,” the nurse said. 

...

Nicki was watchful of Parker the rest of the day, keeping her distance while still doing her duty. She got home that night, texted Justin that she’d call in a bit, then asked Heather if they could talk. 

“Parker was saying some pretty terrible stuff about Justin today, I’m curious if any of it was true.”

“If it came from Parker, I’d say no. I know I said I stay out of your personal life, but I wouldn’t let you date a guy I knew was a humongous asshole.  I’ve known him a long time, he’s not like that.”

“So he wasn’t some playboy?”

“Well, he did have a few rumored girlfriends after his big breakup, but he’s not the type to cheat. Whatever happened on Sunday, you’re the only one he wants to do that with.  A pretty face doesn’t mean he’s just looking to jump from woman to woman. With all he’s done for you since the accident, I think you know what kind of guy Justin is.”

“Why would Parker talk like that then?”

“You and Justin were friends and Parker knew he didn’t stand a chance against Justin.”

“But if we were just friends, why not?”

“Well, you’d gone on a couple dates at that point. You liked Justin and wasn’t interested in Parker or anyone else.  I guess Parjer figured with your amnesia, he could try and make his move.”

“But he’s such a nice guy. He’s a pediatrician.”

“Even doctors can be assholes, hon. Like I said, I don’t like him.  I could be wrong, but I don’t know that my instincts are that far off.”

“A nurse I talked to said Parker’s jealous of Justin.”

“I mean, looks alone, can you blame him? Sure, he’s good looking. But compared to Justin? No contest.  Then you throw in personality and all of that, Justin is just a well rounded guy. Honestly there are some times people wonder how he’s human, he’s just an overall great guy.”

“I mean, I definitely think so.”

“You slept with him, there’s gotta be a connection there that means something to you as much as it does him.”

“There’s definitely something there, but it’s still early on. He’d been so great since all this, there’s been this tension building, which led to a perfect first kiss. It just seemed a natural progression.  Being with him feels familiar, safe.”

“Would you have felt that way if it had been anyone else? Like Parker, for example?”

“When I first saw Justin I felt something. When I saw Parker it wasn’t the same. I noticed he was handsome, but there wasn’t that same flutter I felt with Justin. So if Parker asked me out instead of Justin, I wouldn’t have spent the night with him, no.”

“What if Parker asks you on a date?  What would you say?”

“I don’t think he will, he’s just trying to help me come back to work sooner…”

 

And get in your pants if he can, Heather thought. I don’t trust him and worry she’s gonna fall under his spell of whatever he’s trying to do. 

Chapter 15

Nicki called Justin later that night after talking with Heather, talking about the different patients she saw that day, ones that got to go home. 

The next day, Nicki took Parker and anything he did or said with a grain of salt. She was starting to feel more comfortable with charts, certain tasks that she had done before that were becoming familiar seeing them done every day. She’d requested to work closer to the nurses than to shadow Parker, but they said they would think about it and get back to her. Justin was glad to know she was trying to distance herself from Parker. 

Wednesday came, and Justin was over for movie night. He’d asked the girls what to bring and the answer was unanimous- pizza. He rang the doorbell, holding 3 pizzas in his hand. 

“Pizza, I mean Justin, is here Nicki!” Heather joked, flashing a smile at Justin. “I’m glad things seem to be going well,” she whispered as Nicki came down the hall. 

Nicki greeted Justin with a hug and a peck on the cheek. Justin put the pizzas on the coffee table before settling in on the couch. 

“After last week, I feel we need something just super funny. School of Rock for tonight’s viewing pleasure,” Heather said. 

Despite it being a comedy without much romance, Justin and Nicki were cozy on the couch, Justin’s arm around her shoulders, or Nicki holding his hand. Justin found it hard not to sing or anything musical that might give him away vocally that he’s on her iPod. 

The movie finished, and Nicki whispered in his ear, “we could go in my room, maybe you spend the night?”

Justin’s eyes looked at Heather, raising an eyebrow in question. He remembered what she’d said a while back about her feeling out of place in her own home. Heather nodded, but put a finger to her lips to be quiet. 

Justin nodded at Nicki, as she took his hand and led him down the hall.

“Yup, things are getting back to normal,” Heather said to the empty room. 

Justin sat on Nicki’s bed. “I’m all for spending the night, but is it bad I just want to kiss you, and hold you as we sleep?”

“That sounds pretty nice, actually. Romantic,” she said before kissing him. 

Their hands wandered as they kissed, Nicki pulling off his shirt. Justin kissed her neck as she fumbled with her button up shirt. 

“We can still do other stuff, right?” Nicki asked between kisses. 

Justin laughed, then nodded as he continued to kiss her. He was true to his word, trying to enjoy his time with Nicki while being respectful of Heather. 

…

Nicki and Justin groaned when her alarm went off the next morning. Nicki got ready for work, while Justin got dressed and ready to go home. He opened the door, kissing Nicki as he stood in the doorway, and saw Parker pull up as he turned to walk to his car. He walked down the sidewalk to his car, feeling a mix of smugness and frustration that Parker was the one giving her rides to and from her shifts. 

At least I know that she’s calling me every night, Heather hates his guts, and I’m getting date nights, Justin thought to himself. Parker had to hide his disappointment at seeing Justin leave her house early in the morning. 

Parker still kept his smear campaign against Justin, the other nurses snarling at him in the halls. He saw no problem with it. They’re just jealous I loved em and left em. They wish I was paying as much attention to them as I am Nicki. She’s gonna see how much better I am than he is. I’m a pediatrician, I take care of sick kids. That’s a walking pickup line by itself to get women throwing themselves at me on dates. Just a few stories about helping sick kids and they’re in my bed and on their backs. I don’t go off for months at a time on tour, much more reliable and serve a purpose to better our society than some musician. Someday soon, Nicki’s gonna be the newest name on my list of conquests.  She’s bound to be a great lay for Justin to have kept her around.

…

Justin texted Heather once he got home. Did you know about Asshole driving her to and from her shifts? It makes me wanna take her instead.

Yeah, but I don’t know that there’s much to worry about, Justin. She told me if he’d taken her on that date instead of you, nothing would’ve happened. She thinks he’s good looking, but she felt an instant something once you walked in that night. I think you’re good, making dates and plans and all that. Nothing to worry about. 

Justin put his phone away, feeling better but still mulling it over in the back of his mind. 

…

It was Friday night, and Justin invited Nicki over to his place so they got their date night in. With his party the next night and recovering after, this was really their only shot. Heather would drop her off around 7:30. He wore a denim blue button up shirt and dark jeans. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up, he grabbed a towel to wipe a light sweat off his forehead. If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen, unless you’re the cook, he thought. Then you just deal with it. 

He checked the oven, pulling the tray out. He poured wine, making sure everything was perfect. He heard the doorbell, checking his shirt was ok. He walked up to the door, smiling as he opened it. There was Nicki, in a black dress, hair pulled up into a twisted bun, silver dangling teardrop earrings with a matching necklace. 

“Wow, you look amazing,” Justin said, sucking in a sharp, short breath, his eyes widening and eyebrows raised. “I suddenly feel underdressed.”

“You’re not so bad yourself,” she smiled. She walked inside. “It smells amazing, what’s for dinner?”

“It’s not fancy, but I made spaghetti, salad, and garlic bread. Paired with a nice Zinfandel, one of your favorites. I admit I cheated on dessert, but my baking skills are pretty basic.”

“You still cooked, that counts for something,” she said. She walked over to the table, seeing everything set. The pasta was in a big bowl in the center, salad and a slice of bread on each plate, with a basket of the rest of the bread to the side. There were two lit taper candles on the table. Justin dimmed the lighting a little for extra ambiance.  He pulled out a chair for her before sitting across from her. 

She used the utensils in the pasta to serve up a helping, before beginning her salad. She sipped the wine, raising her eyebrows and nodding in approval. 

“So, how are things at the hospital?” Justin asked. 

“Let’s not talk about that tonight. We talk about that every other night. I want to forget about it for a bit, just be you and me,” she replied. 

“Ok, what do you want to talk about?”

“Us. I wish you could tell me more about what things were like before the accident.”

“Does it matter at this point? We’re here, together, I like you, you like me. Can’t that be enough?”

“I suppose so. I just want to know more of who I was.”

“You’re still the same person, I don’t see any change in personality or anything like.”

“What about me attracted you to me, then or now,” Nicki asked. 

“Well, you have a great laugh and sense of humor. Your eyes are so expressive, I feel like you can stare right into my soul, I could get lost in your eyes. You’re so caring, and you tend to be a workaholic like me. But you help sick kids, I make music, so it’s very different levels.”

“Music can be healing. I’ve been listening to more of my iPod. That one band we were listening to on our date, I’ve been listening to their stuff after hearing a couple songs on my playlist. I really like them, the name is a little tricky, goes back and forth between having a star or an apostrophe.”

“*NSYNC?” Justin asked. Same Nicki, definitely.

“Is that what they’re called? I can’t find any CDs of them in my room, just downloaded on my iPod. I don’t even know what they look like. Have you heard of them?”

“They were only one of the biggest fans a few years ago,” he said, almost bragging. 

“What happened?”

I, I mean, they all split off to do their own stuff. One wanted to act, one had a baby girl, one wanted to try a solo career, one wanted to go to space… They originally asked planned on it being a temporary break, but things are more complicated now. Two put out solo albums, one did better than the other, but that’s a whole can of worms. The music industry can be terrible.”

“You’re in the music business, have you worked with any of them?”

“Yeah, you could say that,” he replied. 

“What was it like?”

“They’re like brothers, really close. At least they were. It’s a little fuzzy now. I was at the wedding for the one that had the baby. All the group was there, it was cool to be with them for that.”

“Does JC know them then?”

“Yeah, we’ve worked on each other’s stuff too.”

“Well, like I was saying, their music has been really helpful for me, it’s almost like they did these songs just for me. I know that’s not true, but I feel a strong connection to their music.”

“You were a big fan before, so that definitely makes sense.”

“Would you help me meet them, thank them in person?”

“I’ll see what I can do.  If nothing else I can pass the message along.”

“What else do you like about me?” she laughed. 

“You’re beautiful, but you’re not stuck up about it. Almost like you don’t think you’re beautiful. I know most people don’t see themselves that way, but you have a confidence about you without coming off like a snob. You work hard for what you want, very driven and determined.”

“I know I’ve felt more confident lately, and I’d like to think you have something to do with that, at least now.  That’s why I wore what I did for our first date, if meeting me was one of your favorite memories, I needed to remake it.”

“Well, you look great again tonight. I feel like we should have gone out, or I should have had something more fancy for dinner than spaghetti.”

“You cooked, that means more than WHAT we eat,” she smiled, taking his hand in hers. 

“Ready for dessert?” he asked. She nodded, and he cleared the plates into the sink.

He turned to the fridge, grabbed some small plates, put the desserts on the plates, and brought them to the table. “Tiramisu from our favorite bakery/cafe.”

Nicki tried a bite. “Mmmm, yeah, that place is amazing.  This has all been so wonderful, let me help with things once we finish dessert.”  Justin nodded as he took his first bite, raised his eyebrows and nodded in approval of the dessert, and took another bite. 

Nicki cleared their dessert plates and started on the empty dishes. There was some spaghetti left, so Justin put the leftovers in a container and put it in the fridge. 

Justin put his arms around Nicki’s waist as she washed the dishes. “I don’t want you to mess up your dress, you want something to wear over it?”

“I’ll be fine, but thank you. I like you being here though, if that helps,” she said, content. 

“What’s the plan from here? Am I taking you home, or…”

“You think I’d have Heather drop me off just for you to take me back home?”

“I didn’t want to assume anything,” he replied. 

“I want as much time with you to myself as I can get. I’m sure the party is going to be hectic, so I want you all to myself all… night… long…”

He raised an eyebrow. “Alright then, no complaints here,” he said, kissing her neck, nibbling her ears as she finished washing the dishes. He turned her to face him, kissing her deeply. She surprised him by hopping up and wrapping her legs around him. 

 

“We can start right here, and see where the night leads us…” she said seductively before kissing him. 

Chapter 16

The next morning, Nicki woke up and Justin was already awake. She got out of bed, checked the mirror to fix her hair, and walked down the hall towards the kitchen. 

“Good morning, sunshine. If it’s more comfortable, you can grab one of my shirts to wear for breakfast.  I’m enjoying what you’ve got on, but it’s up to you,” he smiled. He had on a pair of grey sweatpants. 

She walked back down the hall, and found a shirt from his closet, a black Beatles t-shirt. She slowly walked back down the hallway towards the kitchen. Justin smiled as he saw her out of the corner of his eye. 

“You cooked dinner last night, now you’re making breakfast?” Nicki said.

“It’s just french toast, don’t get too impressed. Although I’ve heard I do a killer syrup swirl,” he laughed. “There’s some that’s ready if you’re hungry.”

Nicki took the plate off the kitchen counter. There was butter, syrup, and powdered sugar on the table, along with glasses of orange juice. She put syrup and powdered sugar on her breakfast, then hesitated. 

“You don’t have to wait for me,” Justin said as if reading her thoughts. “Mine is almost done, I’ll be there in a minute.”

Nicki took a bite of french toast. It was sweet, but not overly so, even with the syrup and powdered sugar. “What am I…”

“Tasting?  I put a little vanilla and nutmeg in.”

“Ok, you can stop reading my mind any time…” she laughed. 

“Like I said, I know you.”

“Let me guess, I’ve had your french toast before and asked that exact question?”

“Yup.”

“Is that why you made it, you know I like it?”

“Yup.”

“Well, thank you, it’s delicious.”

“It’s not much, I do what I can,” he shrugged. He sat down with his plate of food and started eating. “So I’ll take you home in a bit so we both can get ready for the party. No need to get super dressed up, something like what you wore for our first date will do, jeans and a nice top.  You’ll look great without sticking out.”

“Heather’s coming too, right?”

He nodded. “JC will be here too. There will be other people that know you from before, but I’ll help reintroduce you.  If you start to get overwhelmed, bring up bananas. I’ll try to keep Heather within line of sight if I can, otherwise I’ll help you find her. If that’s not enough, feel free to go into my bedroom to get some distance or whatever you need. Not sure how many people are gonna be here but they might be spread throughout the house, so my bedroom will be the best place if you need to be alone.”

“You’re so thoughtful, worrying about ME before YOUR birthday party,” she blushed. 

“You’re important to me. I know this can be overwhelming, especially given what you’ve gone through.”  They continued eating in relative silence. He ran his foot up her leg from her ankle to her knee, smiling at her. 

She got changed back into her dress and was ready to go home. I’ll wait a while to tell her she has her own dresser and clothes here, Justin thought. No need to put too much on her at once.

He drove her home, giving her a long kiss goodbye. “I’ll see you tonight.” He grabbed some food for later and headed home. He got in a quick workout, took a shower, and ate before the busyness of the night started. He went into his studio to clear his head for a bit, not working on anything in particular. He saw what day it was, realizing it was Joey’s birthday, giving him a quick text and that he would call and talk on Sunday.

He had asked Heather, Nicki, and JC to be there earlier than everyone else just to help ease Nicki into the party rather than showing up to a house full of people. They were his core, the people he felt most comfortable around.  That’s why he’d called them when Nicki had the accident.  No one else was as close to both of them as JC and Heather, the others that would be there were more of Justin’s friends, other celebrities he’d worked with in music or acting.  

They sat in his living room, Nicki on a couch next to Justin, Heather and JC in deep armchairs.  “So Nicki, I need to warn you.  Ok, maybe warn isn’t the right word,” Justin said.  “Prepare might be the more appropriate word.  There’s going to be mostly celebrities here, it’s ok to get star struck, but they have met you before.  I’ll try to have one of us by your side at all times to help field any discussions where you might not remember things, I haven’t explained the situation to a lot of people, basically just the four of us are fully aware.”

He looked now to Heather and JC.  “If Nicki brings up bananas, it means she’s feeling overwhelmed and needs some space from whatever is going on. Move her to a different area, or she can go to my bedroom. I want Nicki to feel safe, included, but looked after. She’s important to all of us,” he said, taking her hand. Heather and JC nodded. 

Guests started trickling in as Nicki and Heather sat talking, helping her feel comfortable. Some of them saw Nicki and waved or smiled, but didn’t approach her. She got food to eat, grabbed a drink, enjoying the quiet and lack of attention. 

Justin had been walking around the house, greeting guests, having a good time. He caught Nicki’s eye and walked over to her. “You ready to meet some people? I’ll try to keep things light.”  Nicki nodded, took his hand, and followed him around the party. 

“Nicki, this is Timbaland, he’s a producer on some of my songs. Tim, you remember Nicki.”  The two nodded at each other, exchanging pleasantries before moving on. He did this a few more times with various people- his manager Johnny, musicians he’d collaborated with. 

Justin was soon surrounded by friends, Nicki at his side holding his hand. One of the women near her asked what her favorite song of Justin’s was. 

“Uh, well, gee, they’re all great,” she fumbled. 

“Aren’t they though? He must sing to you all the time…”

“No, he doesn’t…” Jenn sighed, not sure if she should feel disappointed. Justin was deep in conversation and laughing with his friends. He let go of her hand to clap as he laughed at a joke. She took advantage of this to slip away, heading for Justin’s bedroom. 

He had been right, no one was in there. She sat on the edge of the bed, lost in her thoughts. Why DOESN'T he sing to me, or play something for me? He has just introduced me as Nicki, not as his girlfriend.  I know we haven’t talked about what exactly is going on between us. We’re young, he’s hot, great sex, so I can’t complain. He’s been so great, very understanding, maybe I’m blowing this up in my head. 

She sat for a while, unsure if she was ready to go back out. It had been about 25 minutes since she left, and no one had tried to find her, not even Heather.  Guess I’ll see how long it takes, since I’m stuck here. 

…

Heather was walking around the party, familiar faces but no one she could really talk to. She saw Justin and JC next to each other  in a big group of people, and walked towards them. She noticed Nicki wasn’t with them. She walked up to the guys, grabbed their arms and whispered “if Nicki’s not with you or me, where is she?”

Justin’s eyes widened at Heather’s words. Fuck, I blew it. “I thought she was with you,” he said. 

They excused themselves and Justin opened the door to his room. He sighed heavily in relief, but his heart broke seeing her sitting on his head, her expression like stone. All three of them entered the room. 

“How long have you been in here, Nicki?” Heather asked. 

“Based on the clock, an hour…” Nicki said, her face still, her voice angry.

Justin’s face sunk.  “Nicki, I’m sorry.”

“I get it.  It’s your birthday party, they’re your guests.  That’s why you had me over yesterday.  I came here for a reason, but didn’t know if I was even missed out there.  By any of you.”

“Nicki…” Heather sighed.

“I was feeling overwhelmed, people were asking me questions, started saying things that I had no memory of, or things that HAD happened before, possibly, but aren’t happening now.  It was a lot.  It was hard to feel like I fit in.  Go on back, your friends are all probably wondering about you…”

“I’m worried about YOU right now, Nicki,” Justin said, crouching down to look her in the eye.  “I wanted you here because you are important to me.  Do you want everyone to sing to me, have dessert, then go home? What do YOU want for tonight?”

“That sounds fine.  Heather, I hate to keep you from people.”

“I’m fine with whatever.  I don’t know most of these people any more than you did, I’m here for you and for Justin.  If that’s what you want, that’s what we’ll do.  I’m sorry for not noticing, I thought you were with Justin since no one had told me otherwise.”

“It’s fine, I’m not worth the trouble,” Nicki sighed.

“Hey,” Justin said, looking her square in the eyes, holding her hands.  “You are ALWAYS worth the effort, time, money, trouble.  If you want I’d send everyone home right now.”

“Don’t do that.  Let’s do cake and go home, Heather.”

“I’m just a phone call or text away.  Can I see you on my actual birthday instead of movie night this week?  Just the two of us?” Justin asked.  Nicki smiled and nodded.

“I’d like that, yes.”

“Are you mad?” Justin asked sincerely.

“Not anymore.  I was in my head a bit at first, letting what people said kinda get to me.  Not that it was mean in any way, but things that I’m sure old me would have understood and been able to just go with, that I can’t the way things are now.”

“You two go ahead, I wanna clear this up with her,” Justin said to Heather and JC.  They nodded and left, closing the door behind them. “What were people saying?”

“Someone asked me what my favorite song of yours was, and I had no answer.  I just was kinda like ‘uh, all of them I guess’.  Then they said you must sing to me all the time.  In all this time, I haven’t heard you sing once, I have no idea what anyone is talking about.”

“Well, I admit I’ve been keeping that from you, yeah.  I just like where things are, where it looks like they’re heading, and I didn't want that side of things getting in the way of anything REAL.  I have so many people coming up to me because of my music and whatnot, but it’s all superficial.  What we have, right here, is real, and I don’t want to lose that.  I know it’s a huge piece of me, but I’ve been wanting you to like me for me, not because of my name, music, whatever.  Does that make sense?”

“I guess, but didn’t I like you beforehand knowing all of that? Why would it be any different now?”

Justin sighed.  “I don’t know.  It was just nice not to be THAT part of me for a while, be a part of me I don’t get to be very often.  You’ve seen both sides, but I didn’t want it to overwhelm you with everything you have going on.  I hate keeping things from you, but I’m wanting to make sure you stay in my life, that I don’t put too much on you at once to process.”

“So you’re more than just a studio musician or backup singer.  I mean, based on this house, your car, I should have known you weren’t exactly a starving artist musician by any means.  Just how big a name are we talking here?”

“Pretty big.  I guess now is as good a time as any to tell you.  Just let me know if it gets to be too much.” Nicki nodded.  “There’s a big reason why I haven’t been singing around you lately.  You’ve been listening to all my music.  The songs on our first date?  That was me, or at least some of it.”

“Wait, what are you trying to tell me?”

“I think it’d be better if I showed you.  Come with me.”  He took her hand and led her out of his bedroom and into his studio.  He showed her his wall, with awards, and pictures.  “You see this picture right here? We had just found out our album set the world record for most albums sold in one day, and in one week.”

Nicki looked at the album artwork with the RIAA certification for No Strings Attached.  “You’re part of *NSYNC? And JC?”

“Yeah.  Then in 2003 I did a solo album, and a world tour.  The label is pressing me for a second solo album, I’ve got some stuff recorded, but nowhere near ready, I finished my tour just a few months ago.”

“How do I fit into all this?” Nicki asked.

“Right now, you’re priority number one.  I’ll record as I can, for myself or with other people, but my goal is to stay here for a while.  I’ve been enjoying all of this, spending time with you I didn't really get to before.  You’re important to me, and I want you to feel that.  I’m sorry tonight didn't do a very good job of that.”

“Thank you for telling me all this.  For taking time out of the party to be honest with me.  I needed that.  Thank you.”

“You ready to go back out there?  They probably expect us to kiss after I blow out candles, is that ok?”

“I think I can handle that,” she laughed.

They walked down the hall, and once Heather had Justin in her line of sight, they started lighting candles.  They started singing to Justin, who had a big smile on his face.  He paused for a moment, before blowing out the candles.  I wish Nicki gets her memory back and we’re together forever.  Nicki stood next to him, and he kissed her deeply in front of his guests, to loud cheers and applause for the birthday boy.  Not long after, Nicki pulled Justin aside to the front door.  

“Good night.  Sorry about everything…” Nicki said.

“You owe NO ONE an apology.  I tried to anticipate it being overwhelming for you, but I let you down in the end.  Hopefully I can make it up to you on Tuesday.”

“Uh uh.  It’s your birthday, now it’s my turn to spoil you.  I’m gonna do my best, just you wait and see.  What time should I be here?”

“Oh, uh, around 6?” Justin replied.

“See you then.  I’ll talk to you soon.  Enjoy the rest of the party, please don’t worry about me.  I’m good, we’re good.”  She kissed his cheek before leaving.  Justin sighed at the closed door.  

 

I’m glad she thinks we’re good, but I’m definitely gonna still worry about her tonight.

Chapter 17 

Justin had an ok time after Nicki left, but it just wasn’t the same without her. 

He talked to her Sunday and Monday after her shift. They were both excited for their date on Tuesday, Justin’s birthday. 

“What are you planning?” Justin asked. 

“Not telling.  You’ll just have to wait and see.”

“Turnabout is fair play,” Justin laughed. “I’ll see you tomorrow after your shift?”

“Yup. Be ready.”

“See you soon.”

Justin sat for a while, thinking things over from the party, and the weeks before. Definitely NOT how I thought my birthday was going to be a few weeks ago, but I still get to spend it with Nicki, so it can’t be all bad. 

He got ready for bed, when his phone buzzed. It’s officially your birthday! Hope you have an amazing day. Nicki

He smiled. Thank you. Can’t wait to see you. Now get some sleep.

He woke up in the morning to a buzz from his driveway. He looked at the clock. 9:00. Well, a decent time to be woken up. He walked slowly out to his driveway. The car was gone, but a small basket was at the edge of his driveway. He picked it up, and brought it inside. There was a card on top of the basket. 

Hopefully you haven’t had breakfast yet by the time this arrives. Enjoy. Let me know which one is your favorite. Happy birthday! Nicki

He smiled as he opened the basket. There were various pastries from the bakery they went to, danishes and croissants in different flavors. Justin made some coffee and eggs, and had a couple of the pastries. 

He went into his studio, playing around with songs he had started earlier, working on lyrics or arrangements for the instruments. Suddenly an idea came to him, jotting down lyrics and laying down a base track idea. He spent the next few works working on it, when his phone rang. 

“Hey, birthday boy!” said JC. 

“Thanks man, what’s up?” Justin laughed. 

“Wondering if I can stop by for a bit,” JC answered. 

“Actually, yeah, I’m working on a song and could use your input.”

“I’ll be over with food.  Ideas are better with food.”

“Sounds good, see you soon.”  Justin went back to his work at the board, playing with the track. JC walked into the house, and into the studio with pizza. 

“Time for a break, lemme hear what you got,” JC said, putting the pizza down in front of Justin and opening it up. 

“Yeah, I guess it’s time for a break,” Justin sighed. 

“Good day so far?” JC asked. 

“Yeah.  Nicki sent me breakfast, that was nice. I know I’ll see her for dinner, but I wish I could have seen her for lunch.”

“Who do you think sent me?” JC smiled. He handed Justin another card. 

Enjoy some time with your bestie and your favorite pizza.  See you tonight. Nicki

“She really is trying hard on this!” Justin said, impressed. 

“That’s a great thing, J. You’re making great new memories pretty close to the old ones. You’ll be proposing again in no time.”

“Yeah, pretty sure that’ll still have to wait a bit since this is all new to her. Hopefully not another two years, but I’d wait as long as it takes for her.”

“Alright, let’s hear what you’ve been working on,”. JC said. 

Justin played a couple samples of things. It had a great beat, a full synthesizer electronic sound. Then he layered in some of the lyrics he’d come up with.

JC bobbed his head as he listened. “Definitely has potential, I know it’s just a rough cut. How long have you been working on it?”

“The last few hours,” Justin admitted. 

“Not bad for that soon, I’m liking where it’s heading.”

They ate pizza and played around with the music and lyrics. 

“What’s the inspiration for it?”  JC asked. 

“”It’s not obvious?  I wrote this for Nicki. The chorus is from part of our first date.  It’s a love song you can dance to.  I can’t wait for it to be done so I can play it for her. ”

“I’m sure she’ll love it once she hears it,”. JC encouraged. 

They talked, finished the pizza, and hung out for a while. Justin felt very relaxed.  Around 4:00, JC got up off the couch. 

“Well, I gotta go, helping with the next part of your night. It was good to hang with you today. I’m here when you need me, ok?  Happy birthday.”

Justin nodded. “Thanks. For everything.”  He went back towards the studio when his mom called. 

“Hi mama.”

“Happy birthday, darlin.  Has it been a good day so far?”

“Yeah. Nicki has been spoiling me throughout the day. She sent me breakfast, then had JC come over with pizza.”

“Sounds like she’s sweet on you again, that’s a good sign.”

“Yeah. I just wish she had her memories back. I told her about who I am, that I’d been hiding my fame from her. I still haven’t told her we’ve been together for over 2 years. She thinks it was a more recent thing.”

“Why don’t you tell her?” Lynn asked, curious. 

“I want her to WANT to be with me, not because she feels she HAS to because that’s what we were before.”

“With all she’s done today, I think she’s trying to tell you how she feels…”

“I mean, I feel like we’re back in that place again.”

“Does she know that?” Lynn asked. 

“I think so. Like you said, would she do all this for someone she wasn’t sure about?”

“I hope you’re right, darlin. I just want to see you happy.”

“I am, mama.  I am.”

“Have a great rest of your birthday. Love you.”

“Love you too, mama.”

It was soon 6:00, and Nicki arrived at Justin’s. He opened the door to see her with her arms full of bags. 

“What’s all this for?” he asked. 

“I’m making dinner tonight. The rest are clothes to change for dinner.  You can help me put stuff down on the counter, but then I want you to distract yourself for a bit while I cook.”

“Thanks for everything earlier today. It was all wonderful.”

“After all the work you put into our first date, I think you deserve a great birthday. Well, you know what I mean…” she stammered. 

“I’ll leave you to it. What should I wear for dinner, since you brought a change of clothes.”

“It’s your birthday, wear what you want. Be comfortable. I’m dressing up a little, but that’s more for you than for me.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.  Can’t wait,” he said as he kissed her cheek before heading back to the studio. 

Nicki took all the food out and started cooking. She stayed in her scrubs as she cooked, saving her outfit change for once dinner was ready. Justin continued to work on the song for Nicki, nowhere near polished enough to have her heat even a taste yet. It has to be perfect, album ready before she hears it, he thought as he worked. 

In what seemed like no time at all, his phone buzzed. I’m finishing getting ready, but dinner is ready and on the table. I’ll be ready in about 5 minutes. 

Justin walked to his bedroom, into his walk in closet, looking for what to wear. He decided on a black long sleeved shirt and jeans. He walked down the hall towards the dining room when Nicki opened the door from the guest bathroom. 

“Hello, birthday boy,” Nicki smiled. “Ready for dinner?”

Justin nodded. “You look beautiful.”  Nicki was in a royal blue long sleeved shirt with light denim jeans. 

Justin sat at the table. “It smells AMAZING, Nicki. Thank you.”

“I hope it tastes ok, I followed recipes I had Heather help me with.  We have mushroom and spinach stuffed manicotti with a meat sauce, and chicken carbonara for our pastas. I also made roasted broccoli, carrots, cauliflower, and baby potatoes.”

Nicki sat opposite Justin at the table, watching him take his first bites of everything. 

“It’s delicious, restaurant quality. Really, you may have missed your calling,” Justin gushed. 

“It’s just something I’m good at, being at the hospital really does bring me so much joy.”

“Speaking of which, I have something for you to consider.”  Justin got up and brought some papers to Nicki. “You’re in the Pediatric ICU at the hospital. On the same campus, so no change in commute, is the UCLA Mattel Children’s Hospital. It’s more family focused, so you get to help families work together on helping these kids, could make it easier to move around and learn different parts of care beyond the ICU, like kids with cancer or other ongoing health issues.  Just something to consider.”

“Thanks, I’ll take a look later,” she said, putting the papers on the counter. “For now, it’s all about you.  I tried to make some of your favorites.  Again, Heather helped a bit on what you like and finding recipes.”

“It’s delicious. So much work for all this food.”

“You’re worth it,” Nicki smiled as she ate. “So, now that your big secret is out, tell me about being in *NSYNC and what led to you going solo.”

“Wow, um, ok. It’s been a while since I’ve had to start at the beginning, a lot of people know, but with your situation, it’s a little weird. I guess I’ll start at the beginning.”

As they ate, he told her how they got started, going overseas before blowing up on American radio and TV, working with JC, and how close the guys had all been. 

“Is it weird being apart from them?” she asked. 

“At first, yeah. I’ve adjusted as far as in the studio and on tour. They’re still my brothers. Joey got married not that long ago, we were all there for that. I don’t see them as much as we used to when everything was in full swing, but we keep in touch with the important stuff.”

Nicki cleared their plates and started putting things to soak. She pulled something out of the fridge for dessert. 

“That Tiramisu was amazing, so I figured we could have more,” Nicki said. “After that you can open your present.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” Justin said. 

“Heather said I had it from before the accident. After looking at it, that made sense, so there we are.”

They ate their dessert, then Justin opened her gift. It was a photo album, with some pictures of Justin and JC and the rest of *NSYNC, pictures throughout the years, along with more recent pictures of Justin and Nicki. Pictures she’d taken of him at their beach, pictures he knew were from dates but appeared just artistic or fun to the casual observer. There were blank pages at the end with a note inside. 

Your past, present, and room for the future. We’ll fill this together.  Happy birthday, Nicki 

Tears welled up in his eyes. “Thank you Nicki, this means a lot to me.”

“I wish I could take proper credit.  All I did was find it in my room,” she blushed, getting up to start dishes. 

“Here, let me help,” Justin said, starting to stand up. 

“Don’t you dare. It’s your birthday, you don’t lift a finger.  Look through the pictures while I finish here.”

“I wish you knew where you found these pictures, some of these go back pretty far.  Brings back lots of memories for sure.”

“Tell me about some,” Nicki suggested. 

He chose an early picture of *NSYNC, from their Pleasure Island showcase. He told how nervous they all were, how his mom and sent out stuff to his and JC’s fans from MMC to get a crowd together. Then he told the story of getting permission to do a show outside the Walmart Chris’s mom worked at and taking over the parking lot with fans. It made Nicki smile to hear him talk about these memories so fondly, despite not remembering feeling sad when Justin first went solo. 

Nicki finished the dishes, walked over to Justin, still sitting at the table looking through the pictures. She put her arms around his chest, kissing his cheek, then his neck. “You ready for the last part of the night?”

“There’s more? You’ve done enough…” Justin said. 

Nicki leaned close to his ear. “I’m taking tomorrow off, we have all night and tomorrow for whatever you want. You sure you’re done for the night? Remember, you don’t get to do anything, tonight is all me doing things for you…”

 

“I mean, I suppose I’m ok with that…” he laughed, kissing her before following her towards the bedroom. 

Chapter 18

Justin woke up the next morning, Nicki next to him in his bed. This feels good, normal, waking up to see her here. He wanted to stay in this moment forever, freeze time so she could just stay with him with nowhere else to go. He knew she had the day off, but he also knew at some point he’d have to take her home. Maybe she SHOULD move in, he thought. Then I can wake up to her every morning, never having to worry about getting her home. THIS could be her home, with me. 

He got up, making coffee and sitting at the dining room table, the photo album still sitting there. How did she get these pictures? Did she call my mom, JC’s mom?  There’s no way anyone else would have some of these… He flipped through more of the pictures, reminiscing on old times. 

He felt her arms wrap around him. “Good morning,” she chirped, kissing his neck.

“I made coffee if you want any. I was thinking of making eggs and we can finish off the pastries you sent over yesterday.”

“Sounds good.”

“How do you want your eggs?”

“Surprise me,” she laughed. That way I know he’ll make something I like from before.

Justin opened the refrigerator doors and grabbed the things he needed. Nicki sat at the table and started looking through the pictures. 

“I can’t believe how young you were when this all started. You’re like a baby compared to the rest of them.”

“Yeah, I got that a LOT…” Justin huffed. 

“Sorry. Your mom must be really great to have let you do that.”

“She was always so supportive. Still is. Once I was sixteen she stopped traveling with me, but those first few years, yeah. We needed her more than we realized. She and Lance’s mom did our laundry after every show. I don’t know where we’d be without them at the start.”

“She sounds great. Have I met your mom?”

“A few times, yeah. You got along well enough.”

Justin brought over the pan of eggs, a couple plates and forks, and the pastries Nicki had bought. 

He put some of the eggs on her plate, scrambled with cheddar cheese mixed in. Nicki took a bite, nodding in approval. 

“You call them easy cheesy eggs,” Justin laughed. 

Nicki laughed back. “They’re good.”

“Nothing fancy, easy to make in the morning.  One of your favorites.”

“That’s what I figured. You’re helping me learn more about myself every day.”

Except the important things like being my fiancée, he thought to himself. “We’re getting there.”

They ate breakfast, Justin telling more stories from the pictures. It was helping her learn about him, and allowing him to reminisce and reconnect with that part of himself. I’ve kinda closed that chapter so I could focus on my solo stuff, but it’s nice to go back and almost rediscover it with Nicki, he thought. 

“What now?” he asked, doing the dishes from breakfast.

“I don’t know about you, but between cooking and what else we did last night, I need a shower,” Nicki whispered in his ear. 

“Keep talking,” Justin snickered. 

“You could help this dirty girl get nice and clean…” she continued. 

“Oh, we might get more dirty before we’re clean,” he replied, with a growl in his voice. 

“I’m glad I brought extra clothes.”

“You always did think ahead…” Justin chuckled. 

…

They were on the couch, Justin sitting up, Nicki laying down with her head in his lap. As they watched TV, Justin stroked her hair, running his fingers up and down her arm. 

“Is it bad I want you, like, all the time?” Nicki asked. 

“Never,” Justin laughed. 

“Seriously,” Nicki replied. 

“It’s all new and exciting, that’s how things typically go. It’s intense, hot and heavy. Do I mind? Absolutely not.”

“I hate to say it, but I should probably get home, do some laundry.”

“Which is it? You tell me you want me, then you need to leave,” Justin laughed. 

“Both.”

“How about we fool around for a bit, then I take you home?”

“Sounds good to me,” Nicki said, sitting up and kissing him passionately. 

…

Justin pulled up to her house, not wanting her to go. “When can I see you again?” he asked her. 

“Saturday?  We’ll call and text like usual until then. I’ll miss you, for sure.”

“If you do, just let me know and I’ll be right over,” he said in a slow, sexy tone. He kissed her goodbye, watching her get out of the car and into her house. 

 

Well, that was a hell of a birthday.  Now, to work on her song. My goal is to have it ready for her for Valentine’s Day.

Chapter 19

The next few days flew by. It was Friday, and Nicki was on shift, still volunteering at the hospital. She’d been switched to working more with the nurses, but Parker was still around her a lot. He’d sit with her at lunch if she was by herself. He’d given up trash talking Justin, but still had her in his sights. 

Nicki had gotten more comfortable doing things she used to do, having more hands on training with the nurses. She was hoping to soon be ready to come back from her paid leave and be working instead of volunteering. 

Nicki was in a room checking on a patient when she heard a call for Code Blue in the next room. “I need a crash cart, stat!” she heard. She rushed into action, getting the cart and any necessary supplies. A patient had stopped breathing, pulse rate low. She prepared the defibrillator. The doctor took the paddles, and she gave the charge. They did this a couple more times as the child didn’t respond. 

Nicki closed her eyes tight. Come on, you can do this sweetheart. We’re here.  After the last shock, the child’s heart rate returned to normal and breathing resumed. She had gone into full nurse mode that she hadn’t looked at who the doctor was that needed her help. She looked up, and it was Parker. They were both out of breath, and the connection of working together to save a child’s life made a switch go off in her head. He had been so calm, ready for whatever needed to be done, and so had she. She felt this electricity between them in the moments after reviving their patient. 

He asked her to come with him to get something for a patient, leading her into a closet. They looked into each other’s eyes, before Parker kissed her intensely. Nicki didn’t try to resist, feeling the connection and electricity between them. Their hands in each other’s hair, tongues dancing between open mouths. Parker pulled back. 

“I’ve been wanting to do that for so long,” he said.

“I need to thank you, I think after that I’m ready to come back full time,” she said. 

“You wanna go out to dinner tonight, to celebrate?” he asked. 

“Sure,” she blushed. “That would be nice.”

“What about Justin?” he asked. 

“It’s nothing serious,” she replied. A smile spread across Parker’s face. 

“Excellent,” he said. “I can change after my shift, then swing by your house so you can change. Nothing fancy, but still go out to dinner.”

“I’ll see you around, then later tonight,” Nicki said. 

They left the closet, the other nurses watching Parker closely. 

Nicki pulled out her phone and texted Justin. 

I made plans with a friend from work. I’ll call if I can after. 

She thought to herself, it’s not a lie, I’m just leaving out that it’s Parker. They seem to hate each other. Besides, I don’t know that the kiss with Parker meant anything, we’re just going out to celebrate me coming back to work. 

She continued her shift, the rest of the nurses glaring at Parker as they crossed paths. 

What’s their problem? he asked himself. Even if they saw us come out or go into the closet, she wanted it. They just wish it was them instead of her. 

Their shifts ended for the day. Parker went into the locker room, took a quick shower and changed clothes. He had a grey polo, black slacks, and black shoes. Even off duty, a doctor has to look good, he said as he looked at himself in the mirror. 

Nicki waited in the hall opposite the locker room, leaving with Parker. They made small talk on the drive to her place. Once Parker pulled up, Nicki got out and unlocked the front door. He waited while she got ready, which seemed like no time at all. She wore a sage green top, dark jeans, and tan ankle boots. She had a black jacket on over the ensemble. 

She got back into Parker’s car. “Any ideas on dinner?” Parker asked. 

“Do you like Chinese? I know this great place,” she replied. Parker nodded and Nicki led the way. They walked into the little restaurant, waiting in line to order. As they waited, a young man with 2 big bags came through. 

“Delivery for Justin, seems like he’s having some friends over,” he said, heading towards the door. 

Nicki’s phone buzzed. I ordered Chinese food from your favorite place. Hoping you can come by and have some. Justin 

Shit, she thought. That was close. I’m glad he called for delivery instead of coming down here to pick up. I see no harm in what I’m doing, but them together in one place could get ugly. 

Sorry, we just grabbed food. Maybe another time?  Her heart sank a little disappointing him after seeing how much food there was. 

They ordered their food and sat down at a table. “To returning back to work,” Parker said, raising his fork full of food. Nicki nodded replied in kind. 

…

Justin read the text from Nicki, feeling stupid for getting so much food without knowing she was coming over. He replied with maybe you can come over and we’ll have it for lunch? You know this stuff is great the next day. 

His phone buzzed, it was Heather calling. “Have you seen Nicki? She’s not here and she didn’t text me.”

“She texted me, she’s with a friend from work. I tried inviting her over for Chinese, but they’d already grabbed food. If you’re hungry you can come over, I kinda got a lot hoping she’d be here…”

“I think I might. See what movie night at Justin’s is like.”

“Basically the same, just different furniture.”

“Don’t you have your own theater room? That’s a big difference than my dinky tv.”

“Whatever. Come on over, it’ll be fun.”

…

Parker and Nicki talked about the incident earlier in the day, the feelings she had of being back in the swing of things at work. 

“It was like a switch went on in my head, I knew what to do and just did it,” she said.

“That feeling after was pretty great, too,” Parker smiled. “That electricity between us, the endorphins of everything, that emotional high of succeeding.  Then there was that kiss…”

“Yeah, it was good,” Nicki smiled. 

“Just good?” Parker asked, tilting his head. 

“I mean, we had just saved a child’s life. The kiss was nice, but that feeling of saving a life…”

That kiss was nothing compared to Justin. Nice, a definite moment, but not exactly a romantic buildup like with Justin, she thought. 

“Well, we were also in a closet. Not exactly a romantic place,” Parker admitted. 

“I’m glad I was able to help, with the code blue. I’m excited to go back on full duty.”

“Did they say when you can officially come back?” Parker asked. 

“No. I’m sure there’s something about making sure I’m fully competent again, hopefully I can be given more responsibility so that it’s closer.”

They finished their food. Nicki had a look on her face like “now what?”.  “Can I take you out to a movie tomorrow night?” Parker asked. 

“Sure, that sounds nice,” Nicki smiled. 

“We can grab some ice cream or something and walk around a bit, if you want,” he suggested. Nicki nodded, so they left and headed to his car. 

…

Heather and Justin were watching Men in Black II, eating some of the Chinese food. 

“I forgot how great this movie is!” Heather said as they laughed at a scene. 

“Will Smith is kinda my idol on being an actor and singer,” Justin said. “He’s just so damn talented.”

“Yeah, cause you are lacking in the talent department… I’ve known you for HOW long? Oh right, back to your MMC days…”

“If you can call that acting…” Justin scoffed. 

“For kids it wasn’t bad,” Heather said.

“I think this is the first time we’ve hung out, just the two of us. We’ve always had JC or Nicki around, or I’d been at your place waiting for Nicki where it didn’t really count. I’m sorry it took so long, you’re good company,” Justin admitted. 

“A compliment from Justin Timberlake? How unexpected.”

“It’s not like I’m mean to you,” Justin replied, a little hurt.

“No, you’re right. We just don’t interact that much. I’ve just been along for the ride with JC or Nicki.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way. I’ll try and make more of an effort to really get to know you.”

“You can start by getting me more of the chow mein. I know Nicki can’t stand it, so I’ll help you eat it.”

…

They opted for coffee instead of ice cream, sitting in the coffee house for a while talking. They stayed until closing, getting refills while they could before walking around the shopping center. They people watched as they walked, their pace slow. Parker reached for her hand, she held his hand, but didn’t interlock his fingers with hers. 

This feels nice, I guess. He doesn’t seem like the guy people have made him out to be. He’s cute, but he’s certainly no Justin. But Justin being a celebrity, I don’t know if I could handle the scrutiny and his schedule. He was on tour for a year. How would we make that work? she thought. 

Parker watched her intently. “Whatcha thinking about?” he asked. 

“What a nice time I’m having,” she answered. 

“Glad to hear it.  It’s getting late, let’s get you home,” he said, taking her towards his car in the parking lot. He drove her home, parking out front as usual. 

“I had a nice time,” Nicki said nervously. 

“I did too,” Parker smiled. 

She leaned in to hug him, instead feeling his lips on hers again. She softened her posture, leaning into the kiss. It was more tender than the kiss they shared in the closet. She felt herself hum in enjoyment against his lips. She slowly pulled back. 

“I’ll text you tomorrow on when to pick you up for the movie?” Parker said, almost asking a question, his voice lifting at the end, like he was asking for permission. Nicki nodded before getting out of the car and heading into the house. 

“Heather, you here?” Nicki asked. 

“Yeah, I just got home myself about 5 minutes ago,” she called from down the hall. 

 

Nicki got into bed, thinking back on her night out. I had myself convinced Parker was this bad guy, then today and tonight I felt this connection. That kiss in his car was so much more tender, romantic. I’m not sure what I’m feeling for him, but I feel like I deserve to find out.

Chapter 20

Nicki dreamed about Justin and Parker that night. She woke up, feeling as confused as she did in the dream. Justin has been so helpful with all of this, so thoughtful in helping me remember things, or at least reintroduce me to some of my favorite foods, things, places. That first kiss was so romantic, I’ve felt almost butterflies with him this whole time, like there’s more there I’m trying to remember but just can’t. That kiss with Parker was in a moment of endorphin related passion and excitement, then a more tender one last night. I don’t feel that same connection to Parker that I do with Justin, but his schedule is much more dependable than Justin’s. 

She hadn’t looked at her phone since last night, and saw Justin’s invitation for lunch. She replied that she’d be there. She was surprised how quickly her phone buzzed in response. 

I’ll pick you up around 12?  

Sounds good. I’ll see you then.

She made breakfast, her easy cheesy eggs, toast, and orange juice. She tried to think what to do, who to pick, if either of them. 

There’s something ineffable about Justin; his personality, charisma, charm, but he’s also a down to earth guy. He could have used his money to impress me, but he’s being patient with me and letting us really get to know each other. There’s a deep connection there, but he can’t put his career on hold forever. I don’t know if I could handle his schedule, those crazy fans wanting him might after night. 

Parker is more dependable, he’ll be there more. Do I feel a close connection to him like I do Justin? No. If I give it some time, maybe there could be. If not, then there isn’t. 

I’m stuck between a guy I’m crazy about but won’t always be around, versus a guy I could count on but don’t feel that same spark. 

The more she thought about it, the more her head started to hurt. She tried to push it aside, be in the moment. If she’s with one guy, not to think about the other. She knew she couldn’t continue seeing both of them, especially if she couldn’t keep Justin out of her mind. 

Before she knew it, Justin showed up and picked her up. “Hey beautiful,” he said as she opened the front door. He gave her a kiss on the cheek. She grabbed her purse and walked hand in hand with him to his car. He opened her door for her, and they were off to his house. 

“What’s you do last night?” Justin asked. 

“Just grabbed dinner, some coffee, nothing much. Something great happened at work though.”  She told him about how she helped with the code blue, and that it was like a switch flicked that she suddenly felt ready to go back to work. 

“That’s great! Things are starting to come together, hopefully you’ll get more of your memories back.”

They pulled up to Justin’s home, he pulled out the leftovers and heated them up. They sat on the couch watching tv for a bit as they ate, before settling on watching Bruce Almighty. They laughed, and had a conversation that made him pause the movie. 

“If you were Bruce, what would you do?” Nicki asked. 

“I’d give you your memories back. All that’s really missing are the ones of me.”

“You’ve given me some great memories since, I’ll say that,” Nicki responded. “I feel bad that I can’t remember. I wish you could tell me more.”

“You know why I can’t…” Justin sighed. 

“You don’t want me to feel like I have to be who I was before.  You won’t even tell me if we were together. I know we were on a special date the night of the accident, but not our first date. Was it an anniversary?”

“No.  Not a birthday, either.  I can’t tell you without giving the rest away.  I’m sorry.”

“What else would you do if you had God’s power?”

“Ok, this is gonna get pretty deep. If I had it since birth, I’d make it so my half sister didn’t die after she was born. I was in *NSYNC at that point, but watching my dad and stepmom lose their baby, the grief it put them through. I wish she could be here so they would never have gone through that.”

“I’m so sorry. I’m sure old me knew all that, but I’m sorry your family had to deal with that.”

“What would you do? If you have God’s power?”

“I guess I’d heal people. Once a nurse, always a nurse I guess.”

She looked in his eyes, seeing the hurt and vulnerability in his eyes after talking about his sister. She pulled him close, his head resting on her chest. She kissed the top of his head. “I’m sorry, Justin…”  He raised his head, kissing her deeply. 

Damn, his kisses always make me feel so connected to him. A tender, vulnerable moment that feels so comfortable, she thought. 

They continued watching the movie, snuggled together on the couch. Once the movie was over, Nicki brought over the photo album. 

“Tell me more stories, it all sounds so fascinating,” Nicki asked. 

He talked for almost two hours on one page of pictures, telling stories about each one, and side stories for context or to keep the timeline flowing. Nicki just sat, amazed by all the stories he told. 

“Is your life usually that hectic now? I know you said you’re on a break from things, but is it usually that crazy?” she asked.

“Not compared to when we first started out, no. Yeah, there are times where it can be, especially touring, but when I’m not on tour or promoting a tour or album, it’s low key like this.  It helps me stay grounded, keeps things balanced. It also helped that I had you in my life to make sure I slowed down.” 

“Really?” she asked curiously. 

“Really. You were important to me then, you’re important to me now. I always tried my hardest to make time for you.”

Nicki’s phone buzzed. Her eyes went wide when she saw it was from Parker. She’d missed a text earlier saying he’d pick her up at 6. 

Hey, I didn’t hear back from you earlier. I’m on my way over to pick you up for our date. See you soon. 

She felt like she somehow swallowed a huge boulder; this heavy, sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. “Justin, I’m sorry, but I gotta go. I made plans with my friend yesterday and they’re on their way over to pick me up.”

“Ok. Let me put stuff away and I’ll take you home.”  Nicki felt like screaming as he threw away the empty food containers, putting the photo album on the coffee table. She was trying so hard not to show she was in a hurry. 

What do I do if they see each other?? She was starting to panic, when Justin started for the front door. “You coming?” he asked. “I mean, I’m ok if you wanna stay…”

“No, I’m coming,” she said hurriedly.  She was silent most of the drive home, worried about the worst case scenario.  The sun had set, it was getting dark.  That may help me a little, she thought.

 

She was wrong.

Chapter 21

Justin pulled up to her house, seeing a car parked out front.  “Looks like your friend is already waiting,” Justin said.  “Sorry.”  His eyes widened as he saw someone waiting by her front door.  It was Parker.

“What the HELL is he doing here?!” Justin yelled.  “Is that who you were with last night? Who you’re spending time with tonight?”

“We went out last night to celebrate me going back to work, we worked together to save that kid’s life.  It was nothing.”

“And tonight?!” he continued.

“Tonight we’re seeing a movie.  Harmless.”

“No.”

“No WHAT?” she asked.

“You’re not going.  Buckle up, I’m taking you anywhere but out with HIM…”

“Uh, no, you’re not.”

“I’m sure as hell not gonna let him take you out on a date.  If it’s harmless, then ask if I can come.”

“No.”

“Then it isn’t harmless…”

“Since when are you so defensive and protective of me, acting so jealous?”

“Old habits die hard, I guess.”

“Meaning?”

“You know the story about my ex.  I’m not gonna just hand you over to the guy that wants to steal you from me.”

“I don’t belong to anyone, Justin…”

“So us having sex isn’t being in a relationship?  Everything I’ve done for you means NOTHING?!”

“We’re young, isn’t that what we’re supposed to be doing?  Yes, you’ve been great and I owe you more than I can even think of for what you’ve done these past few weeks.  But it certainly doesn’t mean I belong to you like I’m property.”

“So I’m just some fling to you?” Justin asked, trying hard not to cry.

“No.  I mean, I have a lot of feelings about you.  I’d almost say it feels lke love.  You want me to be happy.  I have to explore the feelings I have for Parker.  Unless you can give me ONE reason not to go…”

“Is the fact that I love you enough?” Justin asked.

Nicki sighed.  “I don’t know.  I’ve been thinking about this all day.  As much as I like you, what we have, I feel I need to give Parker a fair shot, too.  Is there anything else you can tell me that would change my mind?”

Justin sighed, and was silent for a moment.  “Not without you getting mad at me for not telling you in the first place, and not without you choosing me because you feel you HAVE to.  I want you to choose me because you WANT to.”

“So you’ll let me go on this date with Parker then?” she asked.

“I thought it wasn’t a date…”

“I was trying to avoid a fight, but that didn’t seem to happen.  I’m going now Justin.  I’ll talk to you later.”

“Nicki, please, don’t go…” he voice pleading her.

“Sorry Justin, I need to see where this goes.  If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.”

Parker started walking towards Nicki as she got out of the car.  “Who was that?” he asked, as Justin sat there in his car.

“A friend I had lunch with.  We got to talking for a while, catching up on old times.”

“Sounds great, I hope it brings more of your memories back.” Except the ones of Justin, then I’m done for.

Justin sat there for a while, fighting the urge to follow Parker’s car and make a scene, or to burst into tears over watching her go on a date with someone else.  He jumped in his seat when Heather tapped on his passenger window.

“Come on in, we’ll order food and drink a bit,” Heather said.  Justin reluctantly got out of his car, not knowing what he actually wanted to do.  

Justin sunk into the couch, the spot where Nicki would curl up next to him watching movies.  Her spot empty and cold.

“I had no idea either, if that helps,” Heather said.  “You know I wouldn’t keep something like that from you.  I want you to be with her as much as you do.  So when he knocked at the door looking for Nicki for their date, my mind started prepping what to do.  I’m sorry you found out the way you did, but isn’t it better than hearing it from me?”

“After all we’ve been through together, after knowing what Britney did to me, she’s still even THINKING about exploring feelings for some other guy?  Especially PARKER?!”

“This has to be brand new.  She hasn’t said anything to me about it.  If you want, you can help yourself to our alcohol while I finish dinner.”  Heather made pasta, knowing it was a comfort food for Justin.  Justin was two beers in when dinner was ready.  He had another with dinner.  They ate in relative silence, Justin trying to push it out of his mind for a moment.  But he couldn’t.  

“Justin, you’re gonna break my plate and silverware…” His grip on his fork made his hand almost white, he had been practically stabbing his food on the plate.  He eased up, his eyes looking apologetic.

…

Parker pulled up to the theater.  It was in a shopping center with other restaurants and shops.  “We can do a later showing and do dinner first, or we can watch the movie and then get dinner.  I guess it depends on how hungry you are.”

“I could eat,” Nicki said.  They found a cute little restaurant in the shopping center, sat down, and looked over the menu.  They ordered their food, and made small talk about work, various things.  

“Tell me about yourself, where you’re from, why you got into medicine, anything,” Nicki suggested.

“Well, I’m from the area, Southern California my whole life.  I was sick a lot as a kid, so the doctors were my heroes when I was little because they made me feel less scared and would help me get better.  My mom was a nurse, so I guess it runs in the family.  When I was a kid I’d try to help any sick or injured animal I saw, my mom thought I was gonna be a vet.  I remembered how I felt as a kid going into the hospital, and I remembered how I felt when I got to go home.  Being a vet would’ve been great, but it’s nothing compared to seeing that look on a kid’s face when you tell them they get to go home.  I mean, you know, hospitals aren’t fun, being stuck in bed all the time.  So being able to go home, even if you’re not 100% better is great in itself.”

“That’s a wonderful story, Parker.  I’d like to hear more,” she said, eyes locked on him.  He told stories from his childhood about his friends, the injuries or illnesses he had.  Every story made her like him more, as a person and starting to feel a deeper connection.  

We’re both in medicine, he really seems like a nice guy.  What was everyone freaking out about? she wondered.

Parker ordered dessert, as they had time before the last showing of the movie for the night.  “What movie are we going to see, you haven’t told me,” Nicki asked.

“The Wedding Date,” Parker replied.  “I really want to see Hitch, but it doesn’t come out until next week.  Maybe we could see that one together?”

“Already asking me on a second date?” Nicki laughed.

“I guess I am,” Parker answered.  “I know this great place to take you for dinner.  Valentine’s Day is during the week, but I’d love to take you there to celebrate early.”

“A date for Valentine’s Day?  We’re in the middle of our first date, isn’t that rushing things a bit?”

“Maybe, but I know what I want, WHO I want.  I’m not afraid to go after what I want.”

“Ok, a second date it is, for an early Valentine’s Day.”

…

Heather tried to distract Justin with TV, but it wasn’t working.  He needed to talk.  She was a couple drinks in herself, Justin had moved to stronger stuff. 

“I can call JC over, if you want,” Heather said, feeling a little nervous.

“Why can’t we just talk, the two of us?” Justin asked, tipsy.

Heather sighed, moved closer, sitting in Nicki’s spot, and turned to face him on the couch.  “Ok, just the two of us.”

“I just don’t get it.  I’ve been doing so much for her to show her how I feel, how important she is to me, and she does this.  I know I had a reputation, but after we made love on our first date, I thought she felt the same way, that we were together.  I guess that’s all I’m good for, a trophy bang before going off to someone else.”

“Justin, you know that’s not true. She loves you, she just needs to remember. You’ve done so much, WE have done so much…” Heather’s voice trailed off. 

“I know, thank you.”

“Actually, you don’t…”

“What?” asked Justin, confused. 

“There’s a reason I brought Nicki to that party…”

“So you wouldn’t be alone, she told me.”

“No, that’s what I told her. I knew what a fan she was, and she was into my brother, and that just would’ve been weird. I brought her hoping you’d be there so she could forget about JC, and maybe I could forget about you…”

“WHAT?!”

“I had a little crush on you, but I knew JC wouldn’t allow it. His sister with one of his best friends. So I thought maybe if I set you two up, I could move on. I was glad to see her happy, I was glad to see you happy, and see you more often.  Then things got complicated the more you came over, I still had feelings for you.”

“Heather, I had no idea…”

“Then I planted that photo album in her closet like she had come up with it.  I asked my mom and your mom for pictures from the early days, anything they had they were willing to part with or could make copies of for me that they thought you would like.  That was all me, not Nicki…”

“I LOVE that album, it was such a thoughtful gift…”

“Yeah, well, I wanted to make sure she had something to give you, the guy that has everything…”

“Heather…”

“Yes, Justin?”  She felt him pull her close and his lips on hers.  She’d wondered what it felt like for so long, before he and Nicki got together, then watching them once they started dating.  It was soft, warm, deep, inviting.  She melted into his arms, returning the affection.  His hands cupped her shoulders before running his fingers into her hair, her hands lacing together behind his neck.  She hummed against him.  She realized what was happening, and pulled away.

“No, Justin, we can’t.  JC would kill us.  Nicki will hate me, we’re drunk, we don’t know what we’re doing…”

“Nicki doesn’t seem to give two shits about me right now, so I could care less.  As for JC, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt anyone.  Yes, we’ve been drinking, but what about what YOU want?  You have been doing so much to fight what YOU want for so long, including making a gift for me for Nicki to take credit for.  That album means the world to me, and I can’t pretend that I don’t mean something to you…”  He pulled her close again, kissinger her deeply.  Heather stopped fighting, as Justin leaned her down on the couch, his hands running all over her body.

…

Nicki and Parker were enjoying the movie, Parker kissing her throughout. His arm was around her at the end of the movie, she was curled as close as she could to him. 

They left the theater, hand in hand, fingers not intertwined. They got to his car, buckled up, before Parker asked, “Wanna go to my place?”

Nicki thought for a brief moment before smiling and nodding her head. Perfect, I’ll have her in my bed in no time, he thought, a smile creeping across his face. They talked about the movie as they drove to Parker’s place. 

He pulled up to a housing development. He had a nice townhouse, 2 stories. He walked her up and opened the front door. He had a giant TV on the wall, plush leather seating in the living room. He turned on a couple lights, leaving it fairly dark as mood lighting. 

“Have a seat,” he offered. “Anything to drink?”

Nicki shook her head. “I’m fine.”

He sat next to her on the couch. “Well, what now?” she asked. 

“As if you don’t know,” he laughed, pulling her close. He kissed her, tender at first, then became more passionate, full of need. His hands cupped her face, traveling down her shoulders before cupping her breasts over her shirt.  

She hummed at his touch, laughing in enjoyment as he put one hand on her ass. 

“I’ve wondered for far too long what this would be like,” he said between kisses on her neck. 

His hand went to go down the front of her pants when Nicki pulled away. 

“What’s wrong, baby?” he asked. 

“What did you think was going to happen tonight?” she asked, her brow furrowed. 

“I don’t know, I figured we’d see where it went,” he lied. 

“Well, my clothes are staying on. This is our first date, I hardly know you beyond what you told me tonight. Did you really expect me to sleep with you?!”

“I mean, we could fool around…” he said with a sly smile. 

“Again, my clothes are staying on. If you want me, you need to put in an effort to know me, let me get to know you. I’ll go on that second date with you, but if things don’t change by next week, things don’t look too good then, either.”

“Come on, baby, we were just getting started. You liked it, I know you did. I’m sorry, I’ll behave.”

“You get one warning. Try anything again and you’re taking me home.”

She kissed him cautiously, her body tense against him for a while. Eventually she relaxed into his arms, humming against his lips. Parker behaved, keeping his hands to himself. Nicki’s hands stayed around the back of his neck. She soon relaxed her arms to around his waist, before Parker moved to lay them both on his couch. 

He moved her hand to his belt. “Come on baby, don’t leave me so unsatisfied. You know you’re curious…”

 

Nicki sat up, then stood up and crossed the room. “You were warned. There’s more to life than sex or getting your rocks off. I’ll gladly leave you with a case of blue balls, you need to take me home.  Now.”

Chapter 22

Heather got up off the couch, grabbing her clothes to get dressed. “This was a mistake. What we just did.”

“What’s so wrong about it? You’ve had feelings for me, I’m drunk, so consider this your trophy bang. That’s all I’m good for.”

Heather sighed. “Things are gonna be more awkward now, knowing I had you for part of a night and don’t get the benefit of a relationship. It’d be awkward for JC if we got together, awkward for me and Nicki, it should’ve never happened.”

“Can I stay here on the couch for the night?” Justin asked. 

“You’re in no shape to drive, neither am I.  Get dressed before Nicki gets home…”

“IF she comes home. It’s late, she’s probably staying the night at his place…” Justin huffed. He got up and got dressed. Heather brought out a pillow and blanket for him before going to her room. 

Justin was startled when Nicki opened the front door. He sat straight up on the couch, hiding the blanket and pillow as best he could. 

“What are you doing here?” Nicki asked angrily. 

“I wanted to talk,” Justin said. It’s not a lie, just not the whole truth, he thought. 

“So you waited around here for me?  Not sure whether to be upset or think it’s cute…”

“I’d prefer the cute option.  Come sit,” he said, gesturing to the other end of the couch. 

Nicki sat. “What is there to talk about? You seem to think I’m yours.”

“I didn’t mean it that way, but I thought we were more than just casually dating, with all the time we’ve spent together and talking to each other.”

“At your party you didn’t introduce me as your girlfriend, just as Nicki.  Even then you mostly said ‘and you know Nicki’.  What else was I supposed to think?”

“They knew you from before, and what you were to me.”

“Which is what, exactly?”

“Tell her,” Heather interrupted. “She deserves to know more now.”

“Thank you,” Nicki said, looking back at Justin waiting for a response. 

“You were my girlfriend,” Justin said. 

“Did you make it official the night of the accident?” Nicki asked. 

“Something like that, yeah.” Heather shot Justin a look that he needed to tell her more. 

“We never talked about where things stood with us.  How was I to know you thought we were together now?”

“I figured us sleeping together was us being more than just casual, especially on the first date…”

“You’d been so great since this all started, the date was perfect, that kiss, it seemed a perfect ending to the night,” Nicki said. 

“So you don’t want to be my girlfriend?” Justin asked. 

“I didn’t say that. There’s a connection I can’t deny between us. I didn’t know how you felt about things…”

“You think I’ve been doing all this NOT wanting to be with you, just wanting sex?  You’re home awful late, did you have sex with Parker?”

“Not that it’s ANY of your business, but no. I won’t say he didn’t try. I barely know him beyond work.”

“So our first time meant something for you, too. You easily could have not done that that night, I would’ve been ok with that. Did I want to?  Absolutely. Would I have been ok if you weren’t ready? Absolutely, because I care about you.”

“I need time to figure this out, Justin. Yes, I want to be with you, but now there’s the startings of feelings for Parker. He’s around more than I can say you would be. I can’t expect you to hang around here forever, and I don’t know if I could handle being in the spotlight being your girlfriend. I’m sure you did something to win me over and prove it, but I can’t wrap my head around it right now. I know how I feel about you, but I need to figure out how I feel about Parker.”

“If you know how you feel about me, why is Parker even a factor in this?  If you want to be with me, BE WITH ME.  What else do you need to know?”

“I need to figure out what’s going to be best for me. I could see myself with you, but there would be stretches where I wouldn’t see you, out on tour and such. Parker is here, established, we work together. I can rely on that in the long term.  I deserve to be happy in the long term, not just right now.”

“I can’t do this,” Justin said, standing up from the couch.  “I can’t watch you do this, it just hurts too much.”  He walked out the door. Heather ran after him. 

“Justin, you’re in no shape to drive…”

“I’ll call JC to pick me up. I can’t watch her say she might be in love with me and still even CONSIDER being with someone else.”

Heather walked back into the house, sitting down on the couch where Justin had. She could still feel the warmth from him sitting there, remembering what they had done on that very couch not long before she Nicki came home. 

“Who makes you happier right now, all of this aside?” Heather asked.

“If I’m being honest, Justin.  He’s shared so much with me, without expecting much in return. Parker just wanted in my pants.”

“Yeah, that’s what I tried to warn you about… You’re really gonna go out with him again?”

“Yeah. I had already told him I would, and then told him it’s his last shot. If he messes up, that’s it.”

“I’m gonna have to go with Justin on this. Why give Parker another chance, especially if you know you like him?”

“How is it gonna work when he’s working on a new album, or out on tour?  I can’t imagine not seeing him for months at a time.”

“You made things work before.”

“How?”

“He’d fly you out if he had a show on your weekend, or he’d fly here if he had a couple days off. One time he flew here just to see you for 6 hours, then flew back to do a show.”

“I can’t ask him to do that just for me, I’d get in the way of his career.”

“He did it because he WANTED to, Nicki. You are his whole world outside of music. I feel like he’s shown you that these last few weeks. He wouldn’t do all this for just anyone. If you were just a friend, he’d still be around, but he’s trying so hard to win your heart. We all thought you were back together on some level.”

“I do want to be with him…”

“Then be with him Nicki!”

“I had a moment with Parker at work on Friday, and the more I spent time with him, the more I liked him, until he tried to sleep with me.”

“So why give him another chance?” Heather asked. 

“Because I can’t ask Justin to keep making those sacrifices for me. He deserves someone that can travel if they want, I can’t imagine doing all that travel to see him, or having him travel so much to see me. I don’t want him to feel like I’m a burden at some point.  I need to go to bed.  We’re talking in circles here. I’ve made up my mind, I have a second date with Parker next weekend.”

“So where does that leave you and Justin? What’s he supposed to do while you figure this out?”

“I...I don’t know. I guess I understand if he’s upset, I’d still like to talk to him. Did I just lose one of my closest friends?”

“It’s very possible Nicki. You lost Justin, too…”

“Heather, wait, what does THAT mean?”

“If things work out with Parker, I want you out of here ASAP. This ISN’T you, he’s got you under some spell that he’s a decent guy. It’s all an act just to sleep with you. He’s tried it before, with you, me.”

“You’re not giving him a fair shot!”

“He was hitting on you knowing full well how you felt about Justin, then and now. He’s scum Nicki.”

“I’ll give you that tonight didn’t end well, but he knows to behave and that I mean it. I’m giving him one more chance, please trust me.”

“He doesn’t love you. Not like Justin does. If you choose Parker, it’s over. I can’t watch you ruin a man that loves you so much that he’d do everything he’s done for you, then and now.  The deck is stacked in Justin’s favor and you don’t even care!”

“Oh my God it’s like YOU’RE in love with him!” Nicki yelled. 

Heather got silent very quickly. She knew she had to choose her words carefully after what she and Justin had done, what she’d confessed to him. 

“I want what’s best for both of you, and that’s you two together. I’ve known both of you a long time, and you two were happiest once you met and were in each other’s lives. Don’t do something you might regret and lose him.  If Parker hasn’t changed, you’ll hate yourself for letting him get what he wants, and you’ll have lost Justin. Is it really worth it?”

Nicki sighed. “I still want to talk to him, see him…”

“THEN BE WITH HIM!! Forget Parker and choose Justin!” 

“Why is everyone pushing so hard?!” Nicki demanded. “You’re pushing so damn hard but won’t tell me why?!?!”

“You’re his girlfriend, he loves you, you think you love him back, what more do you need to know?”

“I feel like there’s something you guys aren’t telling me, holding back memories from me. You all said you want me to be with Justin because I want to. You’re pushing it like I should do it because YOU want me to. Give me a week to figure this out. If I feel nothing for Parker, or he shows his true colors like he tried earlier, it’s over. I like Justin, I really do, but I need to see what happens with Parker.”

Heather sighed. “You’re right… you need to see what happens. I hope I’m wrong, for your sake. We are keeping things from you, because if you knew, you’d feel you HAVE to choose a certain way. We want you happy, and if you choose because you feel you have to, you won’t be happy if something else comes along.  So yes, you need to see what happens to choose for yourself. I’m sorry.”

“I know you want me to choose Justin, I WANT to choose him, but I need to explore this, too. I hope you can all be understanding. I’m not meaning to hurt him, not intentionally. It’s complicated, especially not knowing everything to help me choose.”

“We promised not to tell you certain things, I’m sorry. I’ll see if there’s anything I can share with you to not give too much away based on what you already know.”

“Until then, let me do this. If I’m meant to be with Justin, it’ll happen somehow.”

Nicki walked into her bedroom and closed the door. Heather opened the front door to check on Justin. He was sitting on the front steps.

“Waiting for JC or to sober up and drive?” Heather asked. 

“Either. What am I supposed to do?” he cried, his face buried in his arms. “I’m gonna lose her, to HIM.”

“No, you’re not. Not if I can help it. I may not be able to be with who I want, but I’m gonna do whatever I can to help her back to you.”

“Heather…”

“I mean it. I’m already thinking of things to do this week to keep you in her head. She said she wants to choose you, she just needs to figure this out. Don’t lose hope yet.”

JC pulled up to the house. “Dude, do you know wgat time it is?! You’re lucky I picked up man…”

“Did you even tell him what happened?” Heather asked. 

“No, what?” JC replied. 

Heather tells JC about Nicki going out with Parker, needing to see where things go and who she wants to be with. 

“Dude, sorry for giving you shit just now. Man. It’s not over though, give her some time.”

 

“I waited two years to propose, I’ve waited another 3 weeks for her, I’ll wait as long as I have to. I just hope it doesn’t break my heart. I can’t take that again.”

Chapter 23

Justin was surprised that he got any sleep. He didn’t remember dreaming, he slept so soundly. He was so mentally and emotionally drained from the night before that his body craved sleep. Nicki couldn’t sleep, wound so tight on the significance of her choice she had to make. When she did sleep, she was confronted with both of them, being forced to choose, and not knowing what to do.  She woke up in a sweat and couldn’t get back to sleep without worrying about the dream haunting her as much as it did when she was awake. She couldn’t escape this choice no matter what she did. 

She grabbed her phone and sent a text. Can I call you?

He sighed before responding, thinking carefully about his response. I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I want to give you space, and distance myself so it doesn’t hurt so much. 

Can we at least text? Ugh, why does this have to be so complicated?

It doesn’t, but I’m trying to respect your wishes. 

If it helps, I wish you were here with me, holding me. I miss that. 

I do too, but you also want to be with someone else? How am I supposed to be ok with that? Knowing if you’re not with me, you’re out with HIM. 

I’m sorry, Justin. I know you had certain assumptions about us based on how things were before. I don’t have all that knowledge, so I’m doing the best I can until I either get my memory back, or someone finally tells me what the hell happened. 

I wish I could. I want you to genuinely choose me, not because of what me meant to each other before, things I said or did. 

Who’s to say that won’t help me figure things out? That it won’t help me get all my memories back and choose you because of everything then AND now?

Because I want you forever. If you choose me out of guilt because of my feelings, you’ll grow to resent me and we’ll break up anyway. At least if it happens now I can start moving on. 

Please give me a week, Justin. That’s all I’m asking for. Can I see you?

No. We can text, but I can’t handle seeing your face or hearing your voice right now. It just hurts too much that in a week I could lose you. 

Or we make more memories together. 

I’d want to hold you, kiss you, lots of things that are going to hurt more if you choose Parker. I can’t. We can text, but that’s it. 

Nicki put her phone down. I guess I can live with that for a week. I DO miss him, wish there was an easier choice…

Justin looked around his bedroom. Pictures of her seemed to be everywhere, he put his hand on her side of his bed. I can’t even sleep in my own bed without being reminded of her. How am I gonna make it through this week without her?

…

Heather looked in her closet and found all the pictures they’d pulled off of Nicki’s walls. Let’s find some of them together that didn’t already go in the photo album I gave Justin. Showing her how he made time for her while on tour might show she CAN handle being with him with his career. 

Nicki sat at the kitchen table, slowly taking bites of her breakfast. 

“You ok?” Heather asked. 

“No. I have this out in my stomach. I can’t get my mind off of having to choose between Justin and Parker.  I couldn’t sleep, they both kept demanding I choose in my dreams.”

“Hopefully being at work tomorrow will give you something else to focus on.  Until then, do you want to see photos of you and Justin over the years?”

“I wanna say yes, but it might make this a more difficult choice.”

“First you say you WANT to know things, now you don’t? Which is it? This doesn’t have to be a difficult choice, choose Justin.”

“NOT helping, Heather…”

“Do you want to see pictures or not?”

Nicki sighed. “Fine. Can I blame you if I fall in love with Justin?”

“You can make me the maid of honor at your wedding,” Heather laughed. She pulled out a couple pictures of Nicki and Justin at the beach. “You liked to go here a LOT, no matter what season. One time you went in the pouring rain by yourself for a run. Just you with the ocean beside you. Justin came by wanting to see you, I told him where you went. He brought you a big container of coffee, and you sat in his car listening to the rain when it got too cold to stay on the beach.”

“That sounds really nice, actually. Maybe I’ll go there today.”

“I’ll take you. Unless…”

“Unless what?”

“What would you say to one final date with Justin, if he agrees to it?”

“I do miss him… if he’s ok with it, so am I.  I honestly think I might choose him, but I need to give Parker another shot at the very least.”

“Let me talk to him,” Heather said. 

Heather walked into her room and called Justin. 

“Calling to check in on me?” he asked. 

“Kinda. I had an idea after talking with her. What if you had a date with her? She wants to go to her beach. What if you take her, just sit and hold her, you don’t even have to talk, just let her think at her thinking spot. See what happens from there. She told me she thinks she’s going to choose you, might as well give her more reason to.”

“I dunno…”

“You’ll probably get to kiss her. Isn’t it better if things end on a kiss? Or if things continue, to not have the fight hanging over you.”

“I guess. Does she know it would be a date?”

“She does. She said she misses you and that if you’re ok with it, so is she.”

Justin sighed. “Lemme grab a few things and I’ll be right over…”

“I’ll help her get ready…” Heather said. 

 

Heather walked back into the kitchen. “Come on,” she said, “you’ve got a date to get ready for!”

Chapter 24

Nicki’s eyes brightened, her posture more normal. “Really? I asked him earlier if I could see him and he said no…”

“I told him if it’s all over soon, at least you got one last date together instead of ending with a fight.”

“Why would things be over?”

“Um, cause you’re going on another date with Parker to see how things go… How could that NOT signal the end to him?”

“You mean we wouldn’t be friends anymore?”

“And hurt him every time he sees you, especially if you’re with Parker? It’s rare to stay friends with exes, at least for long. Especially how you guys felt about each other.”

“How did I feel about him then?” Nicki asked. 

“The more important question is how do you feel about him NOW?”

“It’s like I have butterflies in my stomach, all the time. I’m happier when he’s around, when I think about him, even hear his songs on my iPod. I can’t wait to see him or talk to him. What does that sound like?”

“That sounds like LOVE Nicki.  We all know that. We just don’t know why you’d give that all up for a shot with Parker. And don’t say because of his schedule. He makes sure he keeps you a priority.”

“At this point, I feel I have to because I said I would. I started to like him, he asked me on a second date, and I said yes. What would I say if I were to cancel? What would he think?”

“He can fuck right off if he gets upset. You tell him the truth. You’re in love with someone else, why risk that for this unknown?”

“Ok, enough talking about Parker, let’s get me ready.  Music?” Nicki said. 

Heather turned on Nicki’s little stereo, pressing play on her iPod. It was in the middle of Tearin’ Up My Heart, during the end of the first chorus before Justin’s verse. She heard Justin singing and it was like he was there singing to her, the words stinging like knives of the pain this was causing him. 

They skipped to another song. Gone started, and was quickly skipped. It Makes Me Ill came next, getting skipped as well. 

“Is there a HAPPY love song they sing?!” Nicki asked aloud. “Maybe no music then… I can’t handle the extra guilt, especially with Justin singing.”

Nicki changed clothes, Heather helped with hair and makeup just to save time. They soon heard a knock at the door. 

“I’ll let him in, you finish the look,” Heather said. She walked down the hall, opening the front door. Justin walked in with a nod. 

“She’s almost ready,” Heather said, trying to not look at him. 

“I’m sorry if it’s weird…”

“It is what it is. It happened. It was more than I ever thought I’d get so I’ll take it. Now we move forward to help you win Nicki back.”

Heather flinched hearing Nicki’s bedroom door open. Justin looked up and smiled. She had on a dark teal shirt, dark jeans, and calf high boots, with a thick black jacket. 

“I’m sure the beach will be busy, but I need to do some thinking, if that’s ok,” Nicki said. 

“Whatever you need,” Justin said. She’s just so damn beautiful, I fall more in love with her every time. I wish I could say she felt the same. “You ready?” he asked. She nodded. They left the house and got in Justin’s car. 

“Music?” he asked as he started the car.

“No, I’m alright. I went to listen to music earlier and all it did was make me sad.”

“What were you listening to?” Justin asked. 

“*NSYNC, it kept playing the sad songs, I had to turn it off cause it felt like you were singing directly to me. I just couldn’t take it.”

“Silence it is, at least music wise.  When do you officially go back to work?”

“Not sure. My leave is at least through the month, but I think there’s some legal stuff that needs to be dealt with, make sure I’m ok to be fully back to work.  Hopefully another couple weeks or so.”

Justin didn’t know what else to say without bringing up Parker somehow, so he just drove quietly. Nicki actually enjoyed the quiet, it helped her think a bit. 

He pulled into a spot overlooking the beach. “So what do we do now?” Justin asked. “Do I sit here while you think, do we sit apart, together, what?”

“Let’s start sitting together, but no body contact, no talking. I just need to watch the waves, hear the pounding of the waves for a while. Once I’m ready to start our date, I think you’ll know.”

Justin grabbed blankets out of his trunk, along with some snacks just in case. They went to her favorite spot, no one else was really around. Justin put the two blankets on the sand next to each other. Nicki sat on one, Justin on the other. 

As Nicki sat and thought, Justin watched the other people on the beach. For being February, it was California, which meant it was actually pretty warm in the daytime still. Families with kids playing in the sand and the edge of the waves. Surfers were out on their boards catching waves, boats sailing in the distance. He actually felt calm just sitting there, and was glad he’d agreed to the day. 

Nicki watched the waves for a while, focusing her breathing on the ebb and flow of the waves. She closed her eyes, listening to the crash of the waves. This is so peaceful, just sitting in the sun. No agenda, no pressure, allowed to just BE.  When else do I feel like this? Being with Justin is pretty close, before this weekend, but that’s not his fault. There’s stress to my job, but I get a feeling at the end of the day that I made a difference. 

I don’t really know if I’d feel with Parker the way I do with Justin; safe, protected. It was nice when we went to the movie, but it seemed like all he wanted was to kiss me. Not that it wasn’t nice, but with Justin that doesn’t feel forced. Parker feels like he’s trying to rush things, where Justin feels right and natural. I’ll do a movie night with Parket as a test. I still remember how great Justin was when we watched 50 First Dates, maybe I’ll have Heather help me pretend it’s my first time watching it again, and see how Parker responds compared to Justin. 

Am I really using Justin as a measuring stick for Parker? Is that FAIR?  All I know is how I feel with Justin, how great and natural things are. If I can find something close like that with Parker, it’s worth giving it a shot. I feel bad, though, that this is hurting Justin. I don’t want to hurt him, I want to just choose him, but I need to know more on how I feel about Parker. Whether last night was a fluke or if that’s how he is. I know what everyone says about him, but I see a different side to him. Could I be wrong? 

Why DIDN’T I let anything happen with Parker? I slept with Justin that first night, why wouldn’t I let Parker? Was it because I feel closer to Justin, the thought he put into everything for me? He made me feel safe, like he was ok if I didn’t want to, he tried to give me an out. With Parker, he kept pushing and pushing it, like I had no choice BUT to sleep with him. Could that be the difference? Justin is looking out for ME, while Parker is only out for himself?

I’ve been here a while, not getting much clarity. I need a neutral voice in all this. Someone not invested one way or the other. Maybe I’ll find a nurse at work, go to the ICU and talk with one of the nurses I had during my stay. Maybe they can help. For now, I’ll enjoy my time with Justin.

She leaned over onto Justin’s blanket, putting her head in his lap. He stroked her hair gently, as he continued to sit in silence. 

“I’m done thinking, for now,” Nicki said, looking up slightly at Justin. 

“The quiet is nice, actually,” he replied. She put her arm out in front of her to rest on his leg. He held her one hand, stroking her hair with the other. They sat there for a while, watching and listening to the waves. “I can see why you come here to think.”

The sun was getting low in the sky, the afternoon blue sky was giving way to sunset hues. “It’s all so beautiful.  The sights of watching the waves, watching the sunset, listening to the waves, kids laughing and playing, dogs barking. All that’s missing is feeling the sand between my toes. Not today though.”

“No?  I can carry your shoes if you want,” Justin offered. 

“If you don’t mind…”

“For you? Not a problem.”

“Justin?” 

“Yeah?”

“What did I ever do to deserve you in my life?” she sighed. 

“Most days I ask myself the same question,” he laughed gently in reply. 

She stood up, taking her boots and socks off, tucking the socks into her boots before handing them to Justin. He held the blankets and her shoes in one arm, leaving a hand free to hold hers as she walked along the shore, wet sand between her toes. 

“Thank you, this does round out the experience,” she said. 

They walked back towards the car, drying off her feet with the dry sand before brushing it off to put her socks and boots on. Justin put things back in the trunk before opening her car door. 

“Where to now? Our first date I had things planned, this time I want you to pick, what we do, where we go, eat, whatever,” Justin said. 

She thought for a bit. “We just did Chinese food, how about where we got the pizza on our first date? They have other food there too.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Justin said, starting the car and backing out of the parking spot. He drove down Highway 1 a few minutes before getting to the restaurant. They sat down, looked over the menu, and placed their order. 

“So, tell me how we kept in touch while you were on the road,” Nicki asked as they waited for their food. 

“Well, I try to do a few shows in a row in LA, Anaheim, places we can drive to do I can stay here instead of a hotel, have you stay with me and go to the arena each night. Sometimes if I’m really missing you, I’d fly you out on a Friday night so I could see you before a show. It was an added bonus if I happened to have a day off in between shows at the same city to spend a day with you. We’d talk over the phone and text, send you pictures of where I am.”

“So I still see you and talk to you during tours?”

“Just the one tour so far, but yeah,” he smiled. 

“I admit I had it in my head that on tour it was just work, work, work.  That I’d be alone for months or a year with next to nothing.”

“No, I kept trying to talk you into coming with me, taking some time off. But you felt so guilty of leaving your patients in the lurch.  I did the best I could with what it was.  You’re important to me, I wouldn’t just abandon you like that for a tour or putting together an album.”

They ate their food, talking about shows he’d flown her out for, some in places she’d wanted to visit but had never been to. She felt great comfort knowing he cared that much about her. 

The sun had set, they had dessert at the restaurant. Justin laid his spoon on the empty plate. “Where to next?” he asked, taking her hand in his and gazing into her eyes. 

“Your place, watch a movie?” Nicki suggested. 

“Sounds good.”  They got up from the table, and Justin opened the door out, as well as her car door for her.

“Were you always such a gentleman?” Nicki asked. 

“I have my mother and grandmother’s voices in the back of my head for certain things, so yes.”

They drove back to Justin’s, and Nicki got comfortable, taking off her boots and jacket. Nicki looked through Justin’s DVD collection. There was one still in plastic wrap that caught her attention. 

“What’s this one? It looks familiar…”

“The Notebook. I literally just came out on DVD, we saw it in theaters. You said it was the most romantic movie you’d ever seen.”

“Let’s watch it then,” Nicki said, handing Justin the DVD.  He got the movie going, and Nicki curled up next to him on the couch, covering herself with a blanket. 

They laughed at parts in the beginning, and as the story progressed, she felt an attachment to Allie.  She reached for Justin’s hand at one point, and throughout the movie there would be times where he’d run his thumb across hers. She looked up and saw tears welling up in Justin’s eyes. 

“You ok?” she asked. 

“I liked this movie before, but I feel a deep connection to Noah’s character. I’m trying to help you find your way back to me.  It feels like you’re ready to go off with that other guy, like what we have is nothing.”

“Justin…”

“Let’s just watch the movie for now, we can talk later, i promise.”

They both silently cried during different parts of the movie, for their own reasons.  When the end credits started, Justin turned off the TV.

“I know what you meant. I felt a connection to Allie, being pulled in different directions and having to make difficult choices. In the end she chose Noah. If you are my Noah, give me time and I’ll find my way back.”

“I’d wait the rest of my life for you, Nicki. I just hope we get to spend as much of it together and not apart.  I’ll be right back.”  Justin got up and walked down the hall at a fast pace. 

As she sat on the couch, a thought came to her mind. We watched that whole movie and he didn’t try to kiss me once. Parker would have tried every chance he got instead of watching it with me. Justin really is something else. 

She waited for what felt like 10 minutes before she decided to try to find him. She found him in his studio, guitar in hand. 

“Let’s go back to the couch, you’ll be more comfortable.”  They walked back out to the couch, Justin sitting on the edge with his guitar on his lap. 

“I thought of a song that might be sad, but also tells you pretty accurately how I’m feeling.  I needed to listen to the song to get the intro right, I never played guitar on it, just sang. So it might be a little rough around the edges. 

He started to play a beautiful, slow melody on the guitar, before taking a deep breath. 

“When the visions around you, bring tears to your eyes.  And all that surrounds you, are secrets and lies.  I’ll be your strength, I’ll give you hope, keeping your faith when it’s gone. The one you should call was standing here all along. And I will take you in my arms, and hold you right where you belong. Til the day my life is through this I promise you.”

Nicki couldn’t hold back tears as she listened intently to the lyrics. “Justin, that’s beautiful…”

“It was one of your favorites,” he smiled. “I meant what I said. I love you Nicki. I loved you then, I love you now, I will love the until the end of time. I don’t like that you are giving Parker a chance, but I understand, and just know that I will wait however long it takes for you to come back to me.”

Nicki leaned in close to him and kissed him gently, deeply. Justin carefully put the guitar down and placed his arms around Nicki. She put a hand on Justin’s thigh. 

“Do you want to?” she asked. 

“Only if you’re sure.”

“Can you think of a better way to end the night?” she asked, getting up and walking towards his bedroom. He followed her down the hall. 

He kissed her like it was his last chance, because in his mind, it was. His hands held her tight against him, never wanting to let her go. He pulled his shirt off before pulling off Nicki’s. She was already shimmying her jeans and panties down her legs. Nicki melted into his embrace, to the point where she started to fall onto the bed and Justin gladly fell with her. 

He continued to kiss her lips, their tongues caught in a feverish dance. One hand in her hair, the other exploring her body. He knew it so well, but he was taking his time in case it was his last. Luckily for him her bra clasped in the front, he made easy work of freeing her from it. Moans and laughing hums of enjoyment vibrates against his lips and he ran his hands over her body. 

He firmly but gently massaged her breasts with his hand, before tracing his hand along her curves. His hand gently cupped her ass, before getting a more firm hold as he kissed her. He now kissed her all over, between her lips, ears, cheek, neck, and collarbone. His hand traced her outer thigh before moving towards her inner thigh. 

Her breathing became shallow, moans full of need. “Please,” she breathed. He gently laughed as his fingers traveled ever closer to where they both wanted, needed, to be. One finger entered her, finding that perfect spot within her. Her moans intensified in volume and need for what he was doing. 

He broke their kiss, kissing his way down her body. Slowly kissing her breasts, sucking on them gently, kissing between them. Her groans became almost a scream as he found her core with his tongue, his finger still inside her. 

Nicki grabbed the sheets by the fistful, her legs dancing with ecstasy of what she was feeling. Wave after wave crashed upon her like an ocean. She felt a final wave building within her as Justin continued his efforts. Her hands became tangled in his hair, holding him there until she exploded in pleasure, her body going limp under him. He went to remove his boxers, when he saw her shake her head and put up a finger.  

She caught her breath before sitting up. “My turn, I can’t leave you unsatisfied.”

“Who says I’m unsatisfied? That was amazing regardless, how you reacted to every little thing. I’m satisfied knowing YOU'RE satisfied.”

“Bullshit. I mean, that might be true for you, but we both know that’s not how this is going to end.”

“It could, if that’s what you want,” Justin said. 

“I think you know what I want,” she laughed. “My turn.”

He laid on the bed, ready for whatever she wanted to do. If nothing else, this is one hell of a goodbye.

She straddled his stomach, kissing him deeply, her fingers running through his hair. She pulled him up so she was sitting on his lap, her fingers lightly raking down his back as she kissed him, a light moan humming against her lips. She moved off of him to remove his boxers, taking him in her hand, beginning in slow strokes. Their eyes locked on each other, a white hot electricity between them. He pace grew quicker, his moans becoming louder, his breathing more shallow. 

“Close your eyes,” she told him, taking him into her mouth. He gasped at the sensation, her tongue sucking and swirling around him. Her fingers lightly raked his thighs. 

“Please, Nicki, please,” he managed to whisper. She stopped, he pulled her back onto the bed, and she looked at him. 

“I’m hoping you know the answer to this, but I’m on some kind of birth control?” she asked. He nodded. “Then I want nothing between us, just our bodies, together.”

He kissed her neck as he entered her, Nicki let out a soft moan at the sensation. His pace slow to kiss her, getting faster until they were in a frenzy of gasping breaths and moans. She wrapped her legs around him, taking him deeper. She groaned in exquisite ecstasy, taking him over the edge. 

He collapsed next to her, gazing into her eyes. “I love you,” he said, aware of how vulnerable he was at that moment. 

“I think I love you too, but I have to…”

“I know,” he interrupted. “I’m your Noah. We’ll find our way back together somehow. Thankfully I’m always a text or phone call away. You ready to go home?”

“I want to stay here, like this, a little while longer, if that’s ok.”

“I’ll take as much time with you as I can get,” he sighed, kissing her forehead. She curled up against him, and he wrapped an arm around her waist, resting his head on hers. 

I wish we could stay like this forever, fall asleep and wake up with her here in the morning, but we can’t, he thought. He felt a knot forming in his stomach, an aching in his heart at the thought of watching her leave one last time. 

They lay together for a while before Justin finally spoke. “I need to get you home, we don’t need a repeat of our first date, frantically getting you to the hospital.”

“I want to stay, but you’re right. Even if I call out, I’ll have to leave eventually,” she sighed. 

They got dressed and Justin drove Nicki home. As he parked in front of her house, they sat for a while. 

“I’ll call you,” Nicki said, finally breaking the silence. 

“I’ll pick up,” Justin replied. 

“One last kiss, for now?” Nicki asked. 

 

Justin nodded, leaning close to her. It was soft, lingering, but had so much intensity at the same time. Justin’s heart ached when she broke the kiss, got out of the car, and walked into her place. He sat there, the pit in his stomach getting bigger. She’ll call you, this isn’t over yet. Finish that song this week so you’ll have it ready. No one else hears it before her, even if it never ends up being released. 

Chapter 25

Nicki’s alarm went off, too early in her opinion. She trudged through getting up, missing Justin already. She felt a little better once Parker picked her up, seeing his smile, hearing his voice, but Justin was still on her mind and in her heart. 

On her lunch, she went to the ICU to find Dr. Hanover. “I was wondering if I could talk to you, as a patient to her doctor, not as coworkers.”

“Absolutely.”

They sat at a table, fairly isolated for privacy. 

“I need some advice. I’m somewhat seeing two men since getting released from the hospital. One of them is super romantic, thoughtful, I think I might be in love with him. The other just tried to get in my pants.  He’s sweet, but recently it’s like he has one agenda. I thought I knew him, and I want to give him a fair shot, but I keep hearing things about him from people, warning me that he’s not a good guy. What should I do?”

“Well, if you’re in love with the one guy, why give the other a chance?”

“Because I’d promised him another date, and I want to give him another chance in case there is something there.”

“I guess, if you have to, sure.  But don’t give him too much of a shot if you aren’t sure your feelings for him are anything less for the man you think you’re in love with.  Don’t lead him on if you’re going to go for the one you already love.”

“Thank you, doctor.  I needed some outside opinion, everyone else was too close to the situation.”

“Glad I could help,” Dr. Hanover said.

A few minutes later, Parker got a text. 

Hey, Nicki just came to me asking for advice. Good news bro, she thinks she’s in love with you. Your date this weekend is gonna knock it out of the park!  

...

The next few days seemed to crawl by for both of them, only talking by phone calls and texts. Nicki was glad he changed his mind on keeping in touch. 

It was now Wednesday, Nicki’s movie night test. She’d already talked to Heather about what she was doing, why she’d want to watch that movie again. 

Parker walked in with Nicki after their shifts. He looked around the townhouse. “Not too bad,” he said, judging the interior. He sat down on the couch. “So, what’re we watching and eating?” he asked, putting his feet up on the coffee table. 

“Uh, I don’t know about food, but I picked out 50 First Dates. I guess it was one of my favorites before the accident.  Any ideas for dinner?”

“Something quick, I’m starving. Heather could have made something,” he said in an annoyed tone. Heather was in the kitchen listening in and wanted to strangle him. 

“Heather, you ok with pizza for dinner?” Nicki called into the kitchen. 

Heather walked into the living room. “Sure. Hawaiian, like usual?”

Parker made a face. “Ick. I’ll pass.”

“Ok…” Heather said. “Sausage with olives and mushrooms?”

Heather and Nicki both looked at Parker. “Whatever,” he snapped. 

Not off to a great start, pal, thought Heather. 

They started watching the movie while they waited for the pizza. When the pizza arrived, Parker didn’t even offer to pay for any of it, despite ordering to try and please him. 

They got to the scene showing her accident. Nicki flinched, turning in towards Parker. 

“What’s wrong, I thought you’ve seen this movie a bunch of times,” Parker said. 

“Not since the accident,” Heather lied.

“Oh. Well, it’s almost over, it’s just a movie, whatever.  You have most of your memories back, so you’re not like her.  Your accident wasn’t that bad.”

“I’ll be right back,” Heather said, going into the kitchen. She got out her phone and texted Justin. 

Parker’s over. We’re rewatching 50 First Dates and he’s doing TERRIBLY!  He had the balls to say her accident wasn’t ‘that bad’ and it shouldn’t bother her because she has most of her memories.

Mother fucking piece of shit. He definitely doesn’t deserve the chances she’s giving him. If I ever see him again…

I know. He also said I should’ve had dinner ready when they got there, and he had a bad attitude about what pizza we got. 

I know I don’t like Hawaiian that much, but at least let you guys get it. 

I can’t wait for him to leave. At least you’re not stuck at home with him. I gotta go, I’ll try to have Nicki call or text you later. 

They watched the movie, Parker trying to put his hand on her upper thigh, toward her inner thigh.  Nicki would move to hold his hand instead, but he kept up his pursuit. 

“I’m trying to watch the movie, just enjoy it,” Nicki whispered. 

“Just trying to get you in the mood for later,” he whispered back. 

Nicki sighed loudly in response. “Sorry, no ‘later’ tonight. We have our shift in the morning.”

Parker huffed a little, his body tensing up next to her. She’s just playing hard to get. Come Friday night, she’ll be mine, for the night. 

As soon as the movie was done, Parker got up and ready to leave. 

“Don’t you want to stay a bit longer?” Nicki asked, still sitting on the couch. 

“Nah, I’m good. I’ll see you in the morning,” he said as he walked across the room to the front door. 

“God, what a DICK!” Heather said in disgust. “I’m sorry, but he was nothing but rude. Why do you keep giving him chances?”

“Our next date is likely our last if he doesn’t change. I chalked it up to an off day or two, but he didn’t even try to be understanding, especially when I told him nothing was happening after the movie.  Then to say my accident wasn’t that bad? Who knows what Justin and my relationship would be like if it had never happened.”

I have a pretty good idea based on that ring I saw, Heather thought. “I tried to warn you…”

“That’s not helping right now, but you’re right, you and everyone else I know warned me. I even asked Dr. Hanover for his opinion. He said to give the other guy a shot, but don’t put too much into it and lead him on if I’m in love with someone else.”

“So you admit you’re in love with Justin?” Heather asked. 

“Pretty sure, yeah,” Nicki laughed a little. “Like you said, all my feelings about him and things I’ll do with Justin on a date that I won’t let Parker, because I feel so safe with him.”

“You slept with him last night, didn’t you?” 

“It was my choice. I asked him, but yes. It was perfect, almost right out of The Notebook. I’m Allie and he’s Noah. We’ll find our way back together in the end.”

“Or you can just be with him now…”

“Again, not helping. He’s being very understanding and I don’t deserve it. Thankfully I’ll know in a couple days, not months or years.”

“I’m going to bed, I’m glad you’re keeping a more realistic view at this point, not just pushing Parker’s crap to the side.”

…

It was Friday night.  Parker dropped Nicki off at home to shower and change before going out to dinner. “I’ll pick you up in an hour, our reservations are at 7:30,” Parker said.

Nicki took a quick shower, washing the day off her without washing her hair and needing extra time. 

“Heather, can you help me figure out what to wear? He said someplace fancy, the name sounded familiar.”

Heather sighed. “Only because I’m hoping tonight is the last time you need me to do this.”

She decided on a blue dress, between a royal and navy, bold but somewhat dark. Her hair pulled half up, the rest in soft curls. She did a natural smoky eye to look dramatic without being over the top. 

She was finishing her makeup when Parker arrived. Heather opened the door. “She’s almost ready.”

Parker huffed. “How long does it take to get ready?”

“Do you have some giant stick up your ass?!” Heather said forcefully. 

“Excuse me?!” Parker barked. 

“The last few times you’ve been here you’ve been nothing but rude to me and Nicki. You’re lucky she’s giving you the time of day.”

Nicki coughed as she came down the hall, signaling to Heather to stop. “Hi,” she said, walking into the doorway. 

“Ready to go?” he asked. Nicki nodded. Parker glared at Heather before walking towards his car. He got in, leaving Nicki to get in by herself. She’d done it on her way to work, but figured for a date he’d be more polite. 

“You look nice,” Nicki said, looking at Parker in a basic black suit. 

“You do too.  Sorry about that,” he said halfheartedly. “It’s hard to get reservations and I hate being late.”

As they pulled up to the restaurant, Nicki felt things get more familiar. 

“I’ve been here before. I can’t remember what for, but I’ve been here before…” she said. 

As they walked in, she waited to check her coat. “I’ll have them bring me to the table,” she said. 

Their table was ready, so they seated Parker right away. Nicki soon followed, their hostess looking confused. 

“Would you like your regular table? It’s available at the moment,” she offered. “Much nicer than this one.  Parker and Nicki looked at each other confused, but nodded. They were seated at the new table. 

Their server came to get their drink order. “Hi Nicki, it’s been a while. We thought we’d see you here for Justin’s birthday…”

This is JUSTIN’S table… Parker groaned to himself. 

“Who is this? Someone you’re coordinating with for the wedding?”

Nicki’s jaw almost dropped to the floor.  

“W-wedding?” she asked in amazement. 

“You and Justin are still engaged, aren’t you? He proposed the last time you two were here…”

It was like a light came on in her head. 

“It all makes sense now. Why he was so dressed up at the hospital, why he’s been SO patient and everything with me. I knew it was a date, but not a DATE…” Her mind was going a million miles an hour. 

“You…” she looked at Parker. “Did you know?” she said accusatorily. 

“About being engaged, no.”

“How long were Justin and I together? How often have we come here?” she asked the server. 

“Birthdays, two anniversaries, other dates just because, and the engagement last month.  What happened?”

“I have to leave,” Nicki said, standing up. 

“Nicki, please, let me explain…”

“Outside, not that there’s much to explain.”

She walked outside, getting out her phone. Parker caught up to her, taking her hand.

“I knew you two were together, but I thought you

loved me, that’s why you agreed to go out with me. All the time we’d spent together at work, our dates last weekend…”

“You took advantage of my memory loss to try and get laid! Once I agreed to go out with you that’s all that’s mattered.  I liked you, a little, and wanted to give you a fair shot compared to what literally EVERYONE around me said about you!  I don’t love you! You need to leave. I never want to see you again.”

“I drove you here…”

“I’ll walk if I have to. Go, NOW!”

Parker stomped back to his car and drove off. 

Nicki got out her phone and texted Heather. 

 

What’s Justin’s address? I need to see my fiancé.”

Chapter 26

Her phone rang in response. “How did you know?” Heather asked. 

“They moved me to OUR table and the server asked if Parker was helping with the wedding. She told me everything, that Justin proposed when we were here last.”

“I’m picking you up and driving you over myself.”

“Don’t tell Justin, I want to surprise him,” Nicki said. 

“Got it. I’ll be right there.”  Heather grabbed her keys and ran to her car, speeding the whole way to the restaurant. 

Nicki went back in to get her coat as she waited for Heather. By the time she came back out, Heather’s car was out front. 

“How’d you get here so fast?”

“Speed laws were broken. Get in.”  Nicki got in the car and Heather headed to Justin’s. “What are you going to say when you get there?” Heather asked. 

“I have no clue. I should’ve never wasted my time on Parker. I don’t have my memories back, but everything makes sense now. Why Justin did all of the things we did. Why I felt so safe around him, comfortable enough with him to make love on our first date…”

“I don’t need to hear that,” Heather said, sadness in her voice. 

“Everything makes sense. Just like our last date, he sang to me…”

“What?”

“He sang This I Promise You… He was there all along, waiting for me to figure things out. Now I have.”

They kept driving, when Nicki started to breathe differently. Short breaths, she was hyperventilating. 

“What’s wrong?” Heather asked. 

“The freeway… this… this is where the accident was.”  They saw tire marks on the road, going from one lane suddenly into another. “Pull over, now.”  

Heather pulled over. Nicki couldn’t calm herself. Her breathing was shallow and fast, gasping for breath. 

“Nicki, this may be where it happened, but look at how far you’ve come. You were going back to Justin’s that night, we’re going there now. He loves you, you love him. Focus on that, let that calm you. After all that’s happened, you two still love each other. Like Noah and Allie.”  

It took a little bit, but Nicki was finally calm, her breathing regular again. 

“Are you ready?” Heather asked. Nicki nodded, and Heather safely pulled back into traffic. 

Heather pulled up to Justin’s. Nicki got out of the car. “Wish me luck,” Nicki said. 

“You won’t need it, he loves you.”

Nicki slowly walked up to Justin’s door, thinking of what she was going to say. She knocked 4 knocks, her brain trying to think of what to say, when the door opened. 

“Nicki, this is a surprise. You, you look beautiful… Isn’t tonight your date with…”

Nicki kissed him, firmly, pulling him into her arms.  “I love you. That’s all that matters.”

“Come in, we need to talk,” Justin said, opening the door wide. 

They sat on the couch. “What happened with…” Justin started. 

“He’s gone. I know, Justin.  EVERYTHING.”

“You got your memories back? That’s great!” he said as he hugged her. 

“No. I still don’t remember,” she said, pulling back from him. “He took me to OUR restaurant, they moved us to OUR table, and the server told me everything, not knowing I lost my memory. She assumed he was doing something with the wedding. Told me we’ve been there for birthdays, anniversaries, and that you proposed the night of the accident.”

“I didn’t want you to find out that way…”

“Would you have told me eventually? Or would you have dated me for another 2 years before proposing?”

“I don’t know. I think if you’d come choosing me any other night, I would have told you then, knowing your decision to be with me was your own.”

“It all makes sense to me now. Why you wanted me to choose, not know and do things out of guilt. It also explains why I did things with you I didn’t do with him. I can’t even say his name. On Monday I’m telling them I want to take the rest of my leave of absence, and apply to the children’s hospital.”

“I’m glad to hear a lot of that. I hope you get a job there. I was thinking about something the last week or so, I’d have to clear it with Heather.”

“What?” Nicki asked. 

“I’m not expecting us to be engaged right away, but I do want to talk about you moving in. I’d been apprehensive before, I won’t lie, but I’m open to that possibility now.  It damn near killed me having to take you home these last few weeks. Granted, that was partly because I knew you were seeing HIM during the week, but it feels right when you’re here. Not just the sex, but making breakfast for you, not having to worry about getting you home at a decent time.  You’d stay over, you even have a dresser of clothes and stuff here.  Didn’t want to tell you and signal how intimate our relationship was that you’d have stuff here.”

“We’ll talk with Heather soon. We have the rest of our lives to figure things out. As for proposing, I’m ready whenever you are. This has shown me you’re in this for the long haul, and so am I. You’ve been my safe space in all of this, I love you, and you’ve shown how much you love me in return. You risked losing me just to prove you loved me. I never want you to worry about losing me ever again.”

 

“Enough talking, I just want to hold you, enjoy this moment.  Let Heather know you’ll be here for the night. She’s probably expecting it, but so she won’t worry.”

Chapter 27

It was Valentine’s Day, Nicki had made pasta for them and picked up dessert from their favorite bakery. 

He made a photo album of the pictures he’d taken from her room after the accident. He told her the stories of their pictures as they ate.

“That was delicious babe, thank you,” Justin said. “I have something else for you, go sit on the couch.”

Nicki sat and waited, and soon Justin returned with his guitar. 

“I started writing this the day of my birthday party, working on it until it’s perfect. It definitely reflects how I was feeling then, hoping to help you back to me.”

He started strumming his guitar before singing. 

If I wrote you a symphony,

Just to say how much you mean to me,

What would you do?

If I told you you were beautiful,

Would you date me on the regular, 

Tell me would you?

Well baby I’ve been around the world,

And I ain’t seen myself another girl,

Like you

This ring here represents my heart,

But there’s just one thing I need from you

Say “I do”

He stopped playing, gazing into her eyes. 

“Nicki, will you marry me?”

Before she could say a word, she kissed him deeply. 

“So is that a yes?” Justin laughed. 

“Yes, it’s a yes.”

Justin pulled the ring from his pocket, putting it on her finger. 

“We never got to celebrate last time,” Justin said. 

 

“We’re gonna celebrate tonight, and for the rest of our lives.”