Fall 2007

"Take it from the top?" JC asked into the microphone from behind the mixing board.

"Yeaah..." Teddi replied, staring at JC through the glass of the recording booth.

"Is- is that hesitation I hear?" JC stared at Teddi through the glass window of the recording booth. Dressed in a gray sleeveless vest over a white T-Shirt, a silver rosary necklace, and red skinny jeans that tucked into her leather black high-heeled booties, JC watched as she fidgeted uncomfortably. She'd long discarded her black and white pinstripe fedora, claiming it made her ‘too hot' and took away her concentration. Why was she acting like she'd never been in a recording studio? She did this for a living!

"No," Teddi scoffed, feigning confidence.

"C'mon, Ted, you've got this. It's just you and me here, remember what we talked about?"

Teddi nodded, remembering JC's words. Songwriting is personal and exposing your art to the world is a vulnerable position to be in, but it's worth the risk to put your heart on the line, and have people connect with your innermost feelings. She shouldn't be nervous. She had no reason to be. It was just JC. He'd been with her from the beginning. Since she was eighteen years old and signed her deal with Geffen Records after being discovered by Jimmy Iovine and David Geffen. He was more than her producer and co-writer; he'd become like a big brother. When she made the move from her hometown of Wilmington, North Carolina, to Los Angeles, California right after her high school graduation, it was the first time she'd been away from home and without her parents. She was eighteen, had just signed her first record deal, and was now thrust into Hollywood. AKA, bait to all the vipers and predators of Hollyweird. Then, she'd been introduced to JC at a label meeting through her A&R Ron Fair, who informed her that he'd been enlisted to help write and produce her first album.

"The Two of Us," Teddi said, extending her hand across the round, polished wooden oak table.

"Huh?" JC asked, shaking her hand.

"Your song, The Two of Us," Teddi clarified. What American girl her age hadn't been an *Nsync fan.? "I really like it. In fact, I love it, the whole two-step vibe it has to it. It totally contrasted the lyrics. It should have totally been a single."

JC visibly blushed, always uncomfortable when he was the subject of praise.

"Oh, and Give in to Me?! WOW!"

"Uh- you heard that?" JC asked incredulously.

"Of course, I mean you're an amazing lyricist. When I first heard the songs on the No Strings Attached album, I immediately flipped open the CD sleeve to see who wrote what, and when I saw how many times your name appeared, I had to find out what else you'd written, and well... Oh gosh, now I'm rambling!" It was Teddi's turn to blush.

"No, go on..." JC joked. He was intrigued. Here was this teenage girl who was fanning out over his musicianship, rather than the superficial. He appreciated the compliments, but it was refreshing that someone took an interest in him for his art, rather than what he'd decided to do to his hair, or what he was wearing.

 

 

Teddi owed the success of her first album to JC, he was a musical genius. If it weren't for his creative insight and direction, she could have never won Best New Artist at the 2005 Grammy Awards. She'd also won Song of the Year for her second single, More to Life, which JC had written, earning him his first Grammy. Being first time Grammy winners wasn't a bad first to share. They'd both been so elated that night; they were on cloud nine. They'd created something magical together that would bond them forever, and no one could take that away from them. They were musical soulmates.

More than that, JC had become family. He was the only person she truly had when she first moved to LA. His door was always open, and too many times had she'd shown up on his doorstep crying about guys- and there'd been quite a few- along with life lessons and growing pains in general. Having gone through it all before, JC always knew exactly what to say. He'd become her shoulder to lean on in that first year in LA. Whether it was eating Chinese takeout on his couch and channel surfing, having impromptu jam sessions, or making sure she didn't get roofied at a club, he was there for it all. And man, was she forever grateful.

"Why are you giving me that look?" JC asked smirking.

"What if it's not as good as I think it is?" Teddi asked into the microphone, her voice coming out shaky and uneasy.

"Honey, what did I tell you about the what ifs? You wouldn't be here if you paid attention to all the what ifs."

True, Teddi thought. But this was different. This was the first time she'd written an entire album. Her first album, self-titled, Teddi Windsor, she'd co-written on four of the songs. For this album she'd been given complete creative control by the label. She and JC were the only writers, and he'd taken a back seat to showcase her songwriting skills, while he largely produced everything with Dallas Austin.

"But this is different JC; these are my words, my thoughts, my feelings. It just feels so raw."

JC furrowed his eyebrows. "What could be more raw than More to Life?"

"JC, you wrote that," Teddi pointed out.

"That was all you. Sure, I wrote the lyrics, but the soul and the essence? That was you. I could have never come up with those words unless you'd expressed to me everything you were going through."

Teddi thought back to the Summer of 2003. David Geffen had suggested she diet. She had an upcoming photoshoot for a spread in CosmoGirl as well as her first photo session for her album cover. Having a type-A personality, and wanting for everything to be perfect, it was all too easy for her to become hyper-focused on the Atkins diet, triggering a downward spiral and minor relapse into her eating disorder. JC became concerned when her collarbone started to protrude, and he could count the vertebrae of her spine through her halter tops. He'd been the one to give her a reality check and pull her back into the real world before she lost herself. She'd confided in him some of her deepest and darkest secrets. He didn't judge. He just listened, which was a breath of fresh air. Out of that moment, More to Life had been born. It went to number one on the Billboard Hot 100 for four weeks and was the number one song of the TRL countdown or a week straight. She'd received so many letters from teen girls form around the world sharing their struggles with body image and eating disorders. She was made a spokesperson for the National Eating Disorder Awareness Association. Yet, another thing she had to thank JC for.

"You're not giving yourself enough credit," JC stated, starting at Teddi through the glass window of the recording booth.

"Pot meet kettle," Teddi quipped. If anyone didn't give themselves the credit they deserved, it was JC Chasez. If only he knew just how amazing he was.

"Oh, haha," JC scoffed playfully. "This isn't about me right now, this about you. Stop stalling."

"Fine," Teddi sighed nervously. "Let's do this."

"Finally," JC smiled. JC took his finger off the button that turned his microphone on and rolled over to the large, white Mac computer in his black ergonomic chair. He put his hand on the glossy white mouse and, just as he was about to play the track in the recording software program, he was interrupted by the sound of a ringtone.

Please don't mind what I'm trying to say 'cause I'm, I'm being honest

When I tell you that you

You, you're part of the reason I'm so set on the rest of my life

Being a part of you

JC winced at the cheesy lyrics. Teddi had to get a new ringtone. It had been six months, and he couldn't take it anymore. He'd rather her switchback to Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne. She'd taunted him with that songs after he and Eva briefly reunited before she got married.

Watching JC, from her place in the soundproof recording booth, she recognized that wince. He hated that song. "JC is my phone ringing?"

"No," JC said quickly. He didn't need her to be distracted. Especially, after he'd spent so much time trying to get her in the right headspace.

Teddi took her headset off and placed it onto the microphone.

Oh, no, JC thought.

Teddi exited the recording booth and joined JC on the other side, behind the mixing board. "Hand it over," she demanded.

JC opened up his palm to reveal Teddi's magenta pink Motorola Razr flip phone. She quickly snatched it from his hand before he could pull it away.

"You were supposed to turn your phone off," JC reminded her.

"I know, Dad. I forgot!"

"I'm not that much older than you."

Teddi playfully hit him across the shoulder. She flipped her phone open and read her missed calls.

JC watched as her face twisted in confusion. "Not him."

"Him," Teddi sighed.

"Don't," JC pleaded.

"I just want to see what he has to say," Teddi replied.

"What makes you think he'll change? It's not worth it, Ted."

Teddi knew he was right. She shouldn't call him back. She shouldn't even still have his number, but it was still programmed into her phone. He was still in her top eight on her Myspace, and still living rent free in her head. It's bad enough she had to see him every time she turned on MTV. Brody Jenner. The love of her life and the bane of her existence. It was bad enough that he had humiliated her on national TV. She never should've agreed to appear on The Hills. Naively, she'd thought it be a great opportunity to promote her new music; MTV's number one hit show. Instead, she'd been used as a storyline by Liz Gately and Sean Travis. She'd been dumped by Brody at Le Deux, the popular Hollywood night club frequented by the latest crop of reality stars. He broke up with her in front of the MTV camera crew, paparazzi, and the entire cast of The Hills. Frozen in pure mortification, she couldn't do anything but cry. Spencer Pratt had called her a ‘Stage Five Clinger' eliciting snickers from the likes of Audrina Patridge and Lo Bosworth. It had been the most humiliating moment of her life. Add to it, that the whole scene had made the final cut of the episode with very minimal edits. Then, cut to Brody leaving the club with Lauren "LC" Conrad. The episode had become the highest rated episode of the second season, and it was in constant rotation on MTV. Seemingly overnight, Teddi had gone from promising young Grammy winner and MTV darling to reality show laughingstock. All because of Brody fucking Jenner.

JC could see the wheels spinning in Teddi's head. "Don't tell me you're still conflicted over this. C'mon Ted, he made an ass out of you on national television."

That should be reason enough to not give his sorry ass any more of her time. But he had this gravitational pull. She could never seem to resist him. "I just need to get him out of my system."

"That's bullshit and you know it."

"JC! I won't be able to go in that booth and record this song until I know what he has to say to me. My heart won't be in it." Teddi didn't understand why he was trying to force his hand with this. He acted like he wasn't the same way with Eva.

JC engaged Teddi in a stare down, challenging her. Headstrong and stubborn, she wasn't giving in. "Fine," he finally conceded. "Ten minutes. That's it."

Almost on command, Teddi's phone began to ring again. "Thank, thank you!" She squealed.

So I guess I'll see you, I'll see you around

I'm spinning, while I'm falling down

Now you know why I'm begging you to stay

"And please, for the love of God get a new ring tone!" JC called after Teddi as she exited the room. He sat impatiently, rocking back and forth in his chair. He let his mind wander to all the possibilities of Teddi's relationship status with Brody. Were they on again? Back off? They'd been on this up and down crazy rollercoaster of a relationship for the past year and a half. Every time Brody hurt her, JC had been there with a pint of Ben & Jerry's Half Baked, a bottle of Barefoot Sweet Red Blend, a box of Kleenex, and a Grey's Anatomy DVD. She'd been through this cycle so many times, that even JC had become intrigued with the Callie-George-Izzie love triangle. He tried not to be too hard on her when it came to Brody, because he'd been there himself. But it had been pretty hard to sit back and watch as his friend got hurt over and over again. JC was resilient, he would eventually pick himself back up again, but Teddi? It was easy for her to conform herself to whoever she was with, and then she'd be crushed when they inevitably dumped her. And they would always dump her because she'd never been the one to walk away. She wasn't one to wave the white flag in relationships. Since he's known Teddi, she'd professed each boyfriend to be  the one. Which was why it was always so painful to see it all come crashing down.

Before Brody, JC had witnessed her go through rocky relationships with some of the most unstable guys. There was Brendon Urie of Panic! At The Disco, Travie McCoy of Gym Class Heroes, Ryan Cabrera, Wilmer Valderrama (seriously, what in the entire fuck, Teddi?), Tyson Ritter of the All-American Rejects, and Martin "Bucky" Seja from Down with Webster. Save for Wilmer, Teddi had gotten the reputation of being a ‘band groupie', but she wasn't like that. She was just a hopeless romantic. What she failed to realize is that the guys she dated weren't the hopeless romantic type, no matter how many songs had been written about. During one of her many breakups with Brody, he'd tried to set her up with his friend, actor Chace Crawford. Chace wasn't exactly trying to settle down, but he was sure that he'd be the perfect distraction to get her mind off of Brody. An attempt that proved futile.

"What girl wouldn't want to be with Chace Crawford? He's on the hottest new TV show, women are practically throwing their feet at him!" JC reasoned.

"He's nice Jace, don't get me wrong, but there's no spark."

There could have been a spark, but her vision was clouded by Brody. He had to keep reminding himself that she was only twenty-two, and he himself had made a lot of mistakes at that age. It's just that Teddi was so mature, he almost forgot about the nine-year age difference between them. At times she could be incredibly insightful and introspective. But when it came to love? It's like she'd thrown all sense out the window.

JC was distracted from his thoughts when he heard the door to the studio opening. He spun around in his chair to face Teddi. Her eyelids were red and swollen. His heart sank. "Ted, I-"

"No," Teddi said cutting him off. She plopped down on the couch across from where he was seated by the mixing board. "It's fine. I'm fine," she said with more conviction than she'd ever professed before.

JC actually believed her.

"It's just that, it's really over this time," Teddi stated, coming to acceptance. Suddenly, she smiled.

"What?" JC asked.

"You know what? I think that's just what I needed," Teddi smiled, nodding to herself.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"So, what are you sitting there for? Get into the booth and do your thing!" JC encouraged.

Teddi hopped up from the couch, and raced into the recording booth, the heavy door slamming behind her. Once in the booth, she put the headphones on, and nodded to JC, alerting him that she was ready.

JC pressed the speaker button on the mixing board and spoke into it. "You ready?" He asked.

Teddi and JC locked eyes, a look initiating that they were both ‘in the zone'. JC rolled over to the computer, and hit the play button, allowing the studio to fill with the sounds of the R&B/Pop track the duo had worked together to compose. Teddi closed her eyes and began to sing.

It's funny how you think you really know yourself

Like you would never lose yourself to someone else

And I was up to thinking it was all about you and me

Silly silly me

I should have never listened to a word you said

But I was always giving in to promises

I never should have gone for

I should never long for you no matter how hard it gets

And I want this to be over

I so want this to be through

In the end somehow it always comes back to you

 

JC had allowed himself to be swept up by Teddi's voice. Just like he had back in their recording session four years ago. Whatever Brody had said to her, it was enough to make Teddi come to the realization that she needed to move on from him. She was putting every ounce of emotion into the song.

 

Cause everywhere I go

No matter what I do boy

I just can't get you out of my head

So it annoys me

(You wasn't man enough)

To come and tell me

(That I was never the one)

Like you said I was

(You could have told someone)

You knew you didn't love me anymore

 

As Teddi continued to sing, JC watched proudly, only making minor adjustments on the mixing board when necessary; adjusting the volume so it wouldn't drown out her voice, panning the volume from left to right. Maybe, her breakup with Brody would be a catalyst for change, and she'd start holding herself to a higher standard. Maybe, just maybe she was exhibiting growth.

 

If you had only told me how you really felt

I could have put my feelings into someone else

But I was busy thinkin' I was where I was supposed to be

Silly silly me

But there was something 'bout you that I couldn't resist

Can't put my finger on it but whatever it is

I never should have stood for it

I know you're no good for me

And that's the way it is

And I want it to be over

I so want it to be through

In the end somehow it always comes back to you

Cause everywhere I go

No matter what I do boy

I just can't get you out of my head

So it annoys me

(You wasn't man enough)

To come and tell me

(That I was never the one)

Like you said I was

(You could have told someone)

You knew you didn't love me anymore

I tell myself

Get over you

It's over right

Right thing to do

And just when I thought I was done

You pull me in for another run

I can't take this

I won't take this

I can't do this

I Won't do it

Even if I know in the end somehow it always comes back to you

Cause everywhere I go

No matter what I do boy

I just can't get you out of my head

So it annoys me

(You wasn't man enough)

To come and tell me

(That I was never the one)

Like you said I was

(You could have told someone)

You knew you didn't love me anymore

(You could have told someone)

You knew you didn't love me anymore

As the song wrapped, Teddi took her headphones off and placed them back on the mic. "So, how was that?" She asked shyly.

"You killed it, Mama!" JC said proudly.

Teddi smiled, relieved. When it came to her music, the one opinion that mattered to her most was JC's. If he liked it, it was good enough. No matter what, she always sought his approval.

JC smiled back at her. The feeling of being able to witness her talent was indescribable. The fact that he got to be a part of her journey. There were no words to describe how honored he was to be a part of the Teddi Windsor story.

 

 

March 2009

"Teddi you are a guest; you really don't have to help me." Karen Chasez said, as she dried her hands off with a dish towel.

"No, I insist. Besides, I love to cook!" Teddi stood at the kitchen counter of the Chasez home and carefully and methodically peeled potatoes, setting each potato to her right, and the peels to her left.

"You hear that Josh?" Karen asked her son. JC was seated at the island, digging into a bag of kettle chips while watching the women cook. "She loves to cook! So why are you still single?" Karen teased.

JC smirked as he eyed Teddi; she was blushing and fighting off a smile. "Mom, c'mon!" He pleaded.

"I'm just saying," Karen stated. She turned her attention to the stove, where she was boiling pasta for lasagna.

Though it was good natured ribbing, JC new there was some truth to what his mother was saying. Still, it didn't make things less awkward for he and Teddi. Nevertheless, he was glad he was able to convince her to accompany him to Orlando.

After wrapping the third season of the MTV hit show America's Best Dance Crew, JC decided to get out of Los Angeles for a while to spend time with his family. He'd managed to convince Teddi to join him as she was stressed and overworked, pouring over every little detail for her next album. JC's parents, Karen and Roy were delighted to welcome Teddi into their home. When JC first introduced Teddi to his parents five years earlier they had completely fallen in love with her. The last five years were filled with questions like: Are you and Teddi dating and When are you gonna ask her to be your girlfriend? The Chasezs were not shy about expressing the fact that they wanted Teddi as a daughter-in-law.

"You know, she's only helping you to make me look bad," JC joked.

"Josh!" Karen and Teddi both chided in unison.

"Geeze, it's like you two are the same person!" JC mused. He stared at the sight before him, amused. Teddi fit in perfectly with his family. It took no effort. She just fit. It was natural.

"You don't need help to look bad, you can do that all by yourself!"

JC heard the voice of his sister Heather behind him as she entered the kitchen from the living room.

"Ugh, shut up," JC muttered.

Heather swatted JC on the shoulder and snatched the bag of chips from him. "Give me some."

"Hey!" JC whine. "God, you're so annoying."

"And they turn into teenagers all over again," Karen stated, as she stirred a homemade pasta sauce in a pot on the stove.

Teddi laughed. "I can't imagine what it must have been like when they were all going through puberty." She was now cutting the potatoes into circles and layering them in a baking dish.

"Oh, they drove us crazy! JC, Heather, and Tyler are all two years apart, so it was one after another. Constant bickering, mood swings and a lot of broken furniture."

"Mom, we're right here," JC reminded Karen.

"I have eyes," Karen countered.

Teddi snickered at their banter as she poured the bechamel mixture over the potatoes. After topping the potatoes with salt, pepper, and grated gruyere she set the baking dish in the pre-heated oven. "All done, Mrs. Cha-"

Karen gave Teddi a knowing stare.

"Karen."

Karen smiled. "Thank you Teddi, at least someone's being helpful."

"Dad's not helping," Heather pointed out.

"I raised you brats!" Roy yelled from the living room, where he was laid back in his recliner with a Budweiser watching a college basketball game.

"And neither is Tyler," JC added.

"Hey, leave me out of this," Tyler called from the living room.

"He's the baby," Karen said.

"Pfftt, he's a grown man!" Heather scoffed.

"No wonder why he's so spoiled," JC stated in solidarity with Heather. He stood up and walked over to the oven where Teddi was standing. He reached for Teddi's hand, "c'mon, there's something I want to show you."

"Yes please, go," Karen said, shooing her son. She playfully whipped his shoulder with a dish towel.

JC held Teddi's hand and led her up the back stairs.

"Where are you taking me?" Teddi asked curious.

"My old room," JC replied. After reaching the stop of the staircase. JC led the way down the hall. JC stopped at the last door on the left.

"JC Chasez's bedroom," Teddi grinned. "You know you're making my twelve-year-old dreams right now?"

JC rolled his eyes.

"This could potentially be dangerous," Teddi joked.

"Whatever," JC replied, brushing her off. "C'mon." He opened the door and as he crossed the threshold, he was instantly transported back to 1994. His room left untouched in the last fifteen years since he'd lived at home was like a time capsule.

Teddi entering behind JC, looked around the room. She observed the Lenny Kravitz and Sting posters on his wall, the red and black bedding, the old windows computer that sat atop a desk in the far corner of the room. A few feet from the edge of the bed, an old Magnavox television set was propped on a TV stand with an old Nintendo gaming console and VCR underneath. Teddi could envision a teenaged JC chilling in his room on a weeknight.

"Pretty clean for a teenage boy," Teddi noted. She plopped down on the bed and watched as JC fumbled around in the closet.

"Yeah, well every now and then Mom will come in tidy things up," JC explained. He retrieved a box from the top shelf and turned towards Teddi.

"Whatcha got?" Teddi asked.

"Home movies." JC sat down next to Teddi and placed the box on the floor in front of him.

"Oh my gosh, I wanna see!"

JC shuffled through the rows of black VHS tapes which were are all labeled, trying to decided which one to show Teddi first. He stopped on a tape labeled, MMC ‘94. He picked up the VHS tape out of the box and stood up to turn on the TV. He plugged the VCR chord into the outlet on the wall, pressed the power button, and slid the tape into the VCR player. JC sat back on the edge of the bed, next to Teddy and waited for the tape to play.

Horizontal lines danced on the TV screen before a scene came into focus.

"Hey JC, tell the people where we are!" An off-camera voice said.

JC's face filled the screen. The camera zoomed out to capture the surrounding.

"We are backstage on the set of the MMC!" JC whisper-shouted; his arms spread as he made a slow three-sixty turn.

Teddi watched the screen, and JC watched Teddi, taking in her every reaction.

"Let's take ‘em on tour," the voice said.

"Well first, you know we have to stop by craft services," JC said, stopping at a long rectangular table, clothed in a black tablecloth, and topped with an assortment of food.  "Let's see, we have bacon, pancakes, doughnuts, and then we have all the fruit over here, ‘cause ya'know we gotta keep it healthy and look good for the ladies!" JC picked up a red grade and popped it into his mouth.

"Yeah, that's right ladies!" The voice behind the camera chuckled.

The focus shifted, and cameraman turned the camera on himself. It was none other than Dale Godboldo. Teddi laughed as Dale flexed his bicep for the camera.

"God, I used to have the biggest crush on him!"

"Hey," JC whined. "What about me?"

"Aww is your ego, bruised?" Teddi teased. She grabbed JC's face between her hands and playfully squeezed. "Poor baby! You weren't the only heartthrob on the show!"

JC and Teddi continued to watch the tape. When one ended, he'd put in another. Over the course of two hours, they watched endless behind the scenes footage of JC on the set of the MMC, JC and his castmates at Disney World, the MMC cast on tour, and many other memorable moments of JC's adolescent years.

"I really enjoyed this," Teddi said to JC. They had moved to the floor, sitting with their backs propped against the bed. A tape had just ended, and they were staring at a blank screen.

JC turned his head slightly and stared at Teddi. He loved being able to share some of the memories that meant the most to him with her.

Teddi looked back at him. "JC, why are you staring at me like that?"

"I'm really glad you decided to come home with me Teddi," JC said, his eyes locked on hers.

"I'm really glad you asked."

Silence filled the room, and they continued to stare into each other's eyes. The longer JC stared, the more his resolve slipped. His head spun and his heart raced. Freefalling, floating in an abyss and losing control.

JC leaned in closer to Teddi, their faces just centimeters apart, their lips so close. He hesitated. "Teddi?"

"Yes," Teddi whispered.

"There's something I want to show you."

Teddi let out a deep, low breath. "Okay."

JC stood up and walked back over to his closet. Teddi watched as JC rummaged the top shelf again. This time he had what looked to be a leather-bound scrapbook in hand. He joined Teddi on the floor. "Pictures," he explained, flipping the scrapbook open. Teddi smiled.

"This is when I won my first dance competition," JC said pointing to a picture. JC looked to be around ten or eleven, and he was surrounded by five other kids his age. They were all dressed in matching neon green T-shirts and silk gold and black typewriter pants.

"You mean when you danced to MC Hammer?" Teddi asked.

JC chuckled. "Yep!" JC flipped the page and explained what was happening in the next picture. He was on the beach in a white tank top and blue swim trunks. "Summers at Myrtle Beach."

Teddi intently paid attention as JC took her through his childhood in pictures. JC's birthdays, Chasez Christmases and family vacations. All intimate moments that JC looked back on fondly. Next, JC flipped to a picture of himself around age 17, standing with an older woman. His arms were wrapped around her, and they both smiled at the camera. JC, tall and lanky towered over her. She had rich, dark curls, and the same eye shape and color as JC.

"JC is that-"

"Yeah," JC interjected. "That's her."

"Wow," Teddi breathed, taking in the gravity of the photo. He looked so much like her; it was uncanny. Teddi propped her chin on JC's shoulder and continued to stare at the picture, savoring it. Appreciating that JC trusted her enough to share something so personal with her. "She's beautiful. Like you."

JC smiled, and just as he was about to respond to Teddi's comment, they were interrupted.

"Joshua!" Karen called from downstairs. "I need your help!"

"I'll be right back," JC said. Teddi removed her chin from his shoulder, and JC rolled over to stand up. "No snooping," He winked before leaving the room.

Teddi snickered and rolled her eyes. Hearing JC's footsteps pad down the hall, Teddi picked the scrapbook back up and flipped back to the page. She rubbed her fingers over the picture and studied it. Such a simple picture that said so much.

 

August 08, 2009

"You really did not have to do this, Ted."

"Of course, I did. It's you're birthday JC."

"I can't thank you enough!" JC said graciously. He leaned back against the sectional  and looked up into the night sky. Teddi scooted closer and laid her head on JC's chest. The sounds of crickets and birds chirping enraptured them. The stars twinkled under the California sky, and the moon peaked out from behind the clouds. Miles Davis played quietly over the sound system, and the aroma of the grill wafted through the summer air. It was a perfect night with his best friend by his side; JC couldn't think of a better way to spend his thirty-third birthday.

JC hadn't wanted to make a fuss over his birthday and didn't have anything planned. Much to his surprise, Teddi did. She took it upon herself to host a small get together for him at her home in Calabasas. It was a small kickback with a few close friends: Autumn and her boyfriend Matt, Dallas Austin, Matthew Morrison, Chace Crawford, and Ron and Stefanie Fair to name a few. It was a small crowd of about twenty people. Teddi hired a personal chef for the night to whip up all of JC's favorites. The dinner party had moved to the backyard where they danced, drank, laughed, and enjoyed each other's company. The last of the guests had left about an hour prior, and JC and Teddi decided to stay on the patio and enjoy the beauty of the night.

"You don't have to thank me JC. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't have anything planned for your birthday?"

"You really went all out," JC replied.

"Please," Teddi sighed. "This was not all out. Not even close!"

"We clearly have two very contrasting definitions of extravagance then!" JC laughed. "Either way thank you. It means a lot," he said earnestly.

"I still haven't given you your gift yet," Teddi said.

"Gift?!" JC exclaimed.

"Yes, a birthday gift, duh!"

"Teddi, you threw me a damn party. That in itself is a gift."

"But I want to give you something tangible, something you can keep," Teddi replied.

"I'll have these memories forever," JC said sweetly.

Teddi lifted her head from JC's chest. "C'mon, follow me."

"Seriously?"

"Up!" Teddi demanded, and JC did as he was told. He followed her into the house. She led him into the living room and instructed him to sit on the couch. "Wait here."

JC watched as Teddi headed in the direction of her office, her flip flops smacking against the tile flooring and echoing throughout the house, her purple maxi dress swishing at her feet.

"Close your eyes," Teddi called.

"What?"

"Josh, just do it!"

"Fine, my eyes are closed." With his back against the sofa and his eyes shut tightly, JC heard Teddi's flip flops and the rustling of paper. As he heard her growing closer, he anxiously wondered what she had up her sleeve.

"Okay, you can open your eyes now."

JC did as he was told. When he opened his eyes, he saw Teddi standing with what looked to be a large rectangular canvas covered in brown wrapping paper. A painting. JC smiled, Teddi knew him well.

"So..." Teddi dragged nervously, holding up the canvas. "Happy Birthday." She picked up the canvas and placed it in JC's lap and sat next to him on the couch.

"What is it?" JC asked curiously. Over the years Teddi had accompanied him to many art galleries and museums. She knew all his favorite artists. Outside of music they had a shared love of art, and they'd often engage in long discussions about everything from Salvador Dalí and the Surrealist movement, to Pop Art and Andy Warhol. JC began to carefully unwrap the painting, peeling away the layers of wrapping paper.

Teddi anxiously wrung her fingers as JC opened his present. Her heart pounding, it felt like it took him an eternity to get all of the paper off the canvas.

JC pulled back the last layer of paper to reveal the painting. The sight before him drew the air from his lungs.

As Teddi watched him, she could feel the blood draining from her face. He hated it. He hated her.

"Teddi- I don't know what to say," JC stuttered.

"Listen, I understand if you're up-"

"This is the most meaningful gift anyone has ever given me," JC whispered. He continued to stare at the painting, his eyes misty. He blinked back tears and swallowed the lump forming in his throat,

"Y-you mean you like it?" Teddi asked nervously.

"Like it? Teddi, there are no words in the English lexicon to describe how much I love it! D-did you paint this?"

"Um, yeah. I did," Teddi replied sheepishly.

"I can't imagine how long this must have taken you." JC marveled at the portrait that was an exact replica of the picture he showed her months ago at his parents' house. "How did you-"

"When you went downstairs, I took a picture on my phone," Teddi explained. "It's just that the picture was a little weathered, and it's such a beautiful moment, and I wanted to preserve it for you, so the only thing I could think of was to paint it."

"Teddi. I don't know what to say." JC looked from the painting to Teddi, and back again. Awestruck, astonished, grateful, touched. No word seemed to quantity the enormous amount of gratitude that was flowing from his heart in that current moment.

"You don't have to say anything, I'm just glad you like it."

"I don't like it. I love it. Teddi, this means everything to me." JC continued to stare at the portrait, both mesmerized and paralyzed. Not only was Teddi able to replicate the photo, but she perfectly captured the emotion. She understood the weight it carried. She understood him. He didn't share this part of himself with everyone. So, for Teddi to be able to take such a precious moment and immortalize in such a beautiful way completely knocked him off his axis. "I can't believe you did this for me."

"I'd do anything for you."

JC turned to face her and stared into her eyes. He was speechless.

"I know it's hard for you to talk about. And you don't ever have to talk about it with me. But just know that you can."

"Thank you," JC whispered. He turned his attention back to the painting, his seventeen-year-old self smiling back at him. Now thanks to Teddi, the picture of him with his birth mother had been given new life.

 

 

 

 

Summer 2010

"I'm coming, I'm coming! Hold your damn horses!" Teddi called, as she raced down the stairs and for the front door, almost breaking her ankles along the way. Whoever it was would not stop ringing her doorbell. She couldn't wait to confront whoever it was, and bitch slap them. "I'm coming!" She yelled again, before reaching the door. She yanked open her front door and was met face-to-face with none other than JC Chasez. If it wasn't for those crystal-clear blue eyes, silky brunette hair, and gorgeous white smile, she would've gladly smacked hit.

"Hey buddy," JC greeted, with a shit-eating smile.

"Jace," Teddi sighed, she stepped aside to let him in. "Seriously dude, you almost got the shit smacked out of you. Why were you incessantly ringing my doorbell, where's your key?"

"Yeah, about that," JC said, walking through the foyer of Teddi's home.

"What about it?" Teddi asked suspiciously. She shut the wrought iron door and followed behind him. JC made his way to her living room. He plopped down on the expansive, plush, cream colored sectional, and kicked his feet up onto the coffee table. Teddi swiftly knocked his feet back down as soon as he'd propped them up and sat down next to him.

"Rachel didn't like that I had a key to your place," JC replied.

Rachel, Rachel, Rachel.... Teddi wracked her brain, trying to put a face to the name. JC had dated so many interchangeable tan, slightly exotic brunettes that she couldn't keep up. "Didn't you break up with that chick like months ago?"

"Yeah, well when we were together, she didn't like that I had the key to another woman's house, so I took it off my key ring to appease her." JC explained.

Teddi's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "JC that makes no sense. You have a key to Autumn's place! Did she make you take Autumn's house key off your key ring?"

"No, but that's different."

"How?" Teddi questioned. "I'm a woman. Tum's a woman!"

"Yeah, but Autumn's with Matt, and they're basically as good as married."

"Ugh! So, she's threatened by our friendship?!" Teddi exclaimed.

"Was," JC corrected.

"Right, was. So, where's your key, then?"

"I misplaced it," JC whispered.

"Misplaced it?"

"I mean, I put it up somewhere, where I thought I would remember but..."

"You don't remember," Teddi said, finishing his sentence.

JC nodded, and began to laugh.

"You're unbelievable, you know that, right?" Teddi asked, laughing too.

"And you love me," JC responded. He leaned his head on her shoulder, and Teddi's heart skipped a beat. He smelled like fresh soap and Armani men's cologne.

"That I do," Teddi smiled. She rubbed her fingers through his hair, eliciting a groan from him.

"Hmmm, that's feels so good," JC moaned, closing his eyes as her nails gently scraped against his scalp. "What time are you headed out tonight?" He asked, looking up at her.

"Five," Teddi replied.

"But the party doesn't start until eight," JC said.

"I know."

"Then why-"

"Because if I tell you five, you'll get here at six. With LA traffic we'd make it right at eight o'clock!"

"Damn, you know me so well," JC chuckled. 

"Yep."

"So why are both single, again?" JC asked.

"Shut up!"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Later that day, Teddi was in her room, getting ready for the party. Jimmy Iovine was throwing his annual summer get together at his villa in the Hollywood Hills. Each year, he'd ask certain artists to perform and showcase their new music. This year, he'd reached out to Teddi and asked her showcase three songs from her upcoming album. Of course, she agreed. So many important industry people would be there. All week, her stomach had been in knots about performing for Jimmy's party. Not because of the industry execs, but because of JC. The songs she was performing were ones that she'd written and composed without JC. He hadn't even heard them. For the past seven years, JC Chasez had been her security blanket in more ways than one. Now, at twenty-five she was finally beginning to come into her own as a woman and she'd expressed that in her music. What would he think when he heard the songs? How would he react? Teddi tried desperately to push those thoughts to the back of her head.

Sitting down at her vanity mirror, she focused on applying her makeup: eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, foundation, blush, lipstick, and setting spray. She'd gone for a simple, classic look. Lately, she'd grown more comfortable in her own skin, no longer relying on heavy fake eyelashes, raccoon eyeliner, and cakey foundation that she thought hid her every imperfection. Recently, she'd discovered that less was more, and that imperfections were beautiful. Satisfied with her makeup, Teddi walked to her closet. She'd picked out the Alexander Wang dress that she had saved for this night. It was a dusty pink viscose, long sleeve mini dress that hit right at the thigh. The long V-neck showed just enough cleavage, but not too much. The dress was embellished in silver sequins, and the fabric was thin and airy, perfect for the hot July weather. She paired it with her never-before-worn silver and dusk blue Romy 100 Jimmy Choo pumps. The fireball silver glitter of the shoe would perfectly accent the dress. To accessorize, she chose a pair of four carat, white gold, diamond drop butterfly earrings, which had been a gift from an ex, custom made by Jacob the Jeweler.

After getting dressed, Teddi stood in the mirror to perfect her hair. Instead of the shocking dramatic jet-black color she used to dye her hair, she'd gone back to her natural color, a light caramel brown. Instead of waist length extensions, Teddi opted for her natural length, with her hair falling right at her bra strap. She styled her in deep side swept waves, all brushed to the right, with a side part to the right, and a pearled hairclip clipping back the right side of her hair.

With one final touch, she sprayed herself with Princess by Vera Wang. She checked the clock on her bathroom wall, 5:45. She smiled to herself. Still no JC. She expected him to arrive at no earlier than 6:15 pm. She couldn't wait to see what he was wearing. While he did make some questionable fashion choices, he'd mostly reserved those experimental looks for America's Best Dance Crew. Whenever they were to attend a star-studded event, JC would dress to the nines, always looking like an Old Hollywood movie actor. After seven years, she should be used to his classic good looks, but every time she looked at him, she felt like a fifteen-year-old girl all over again. Unfortunately for her, she wasn't someone who had the luxury of falling in love with her best friend. He was her co-writer, her collaborator, her musical soulmate. She wouldn't jeopardize that for anything in the world, so she had to keep her feelings in check at all times. More than that, he'd been her shoulder to lean on. When she was eighteen and had nothing, he was there for her. He had become her family. Sure, it was painful to see him date woman after woman, but she'd rather have JC in her life as a best friend, then to not have him in her life at all. And if that's the price she'd had to pay, then that was something she was willing to accept.

I fly like paper, get high like planes

If you catch me at the border, I got visas in my name

If you come around here, I make 'em all day

I get one down in a second if you wait

Teddi was startled by the sound of her ringtone. She walked from the bathroom and into her bedroom and retrieved her iPhone from the nightstand by her bed where it had been charging. What is it now, JC? She thought to herself. Reading the caller ID on her phone, Teddi realized that she didn't recognized the number. The number had 718 area code- Brooklyn. Thinking nothing of it, Teddi decided to answer the call. Perhaps it was someone from Geffen or Interscope's East Coast division. Quickly, she tapped on the green call button to answer the phone.

"Hello, Teddi Windsor speaking."

"Teddi?"

Teddi's blood ran cold at the sound on the other end of the phone. She could spot that voice from anywhere, and usually that was never a good thing. "Travis?" It was Travie McCoy, her rapper ex-boyfriend and lead of the Rap/Rock group Gym Class Heroes.

"Yeah, it's me. How have you been?"

"Travis, why are you calling me? How did you get this number?" Teddi had made it clear to him three-and-a-half years ago that he was never to contact her again, and that she wanted nothing to do with him.

"I miss you Teddi, and I just had to hear your voice," Travis said.

Teddi squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block him out. This could not be happening. "Travis," she sighed.

"I know. I know we didn't end on good terms, but I need to talk to you."

Teddi was stunned. How dare he? How dare he call her up out of the blue after everything had transpired between them? Her knees weak, Teddi collapsed onto her bed. "End on good terms? You pushed me down a flight of steps!"

Her heart raced a mile a minute as those thoughts came flooding back to her. Travis in a drug induced haze, Teddi trying to get him to go to rehab after staging an unsuccessful intervention. Everyone in his life had put everything on the line to try to convince him to go. The members of Fall Out Boy: Pete Wentz, Patrick Stump, Joe Trohman, Andy Hurley. His own bandmates, his cousin- rapper Tyga, his parents, his brother Tim. They'd threaten to cut contact, the band threatened to drop him, Pete Wentz who owned the label the band was signed to threatened to drop him from the label and replace him in Gym Class Heroes. Nothing worked, they'd fought for hours. They were in his apartment, and when she followed him upstairs, he'd gotten so upset that he pushed her the stairs, causing her to dislocate her shoulder. This caused a fight between him and all the guys, and Pete ended up taking her to the hospital that night. That was the last time she saw him. She left him, and never looked back. She changed her number and moved from her apartment in Venice to a more tightly secured one in West Los Angeles. That was early 2005. It had been five years.

"Teddi, I am so sorry," Travis apologized.

Teddi was at a loss for words. For the last five years she'd thought of all the things she would say to him when it came time to face him again. But now that it was happening, everything had gone out the window.

"Travis, I don't know what to say."

"Say you forgive me."

"Travis, listen I appreciate you calling to apologize, but I don't know what more you want from me." Teddi could hear Travis sigh on the other end of the phone.

"I'm not asking anything of you," Travis replied. "I just... I want a fresh start."

"A fresh start?" Teddi scoffed. "A fresh start to what?"

"I was hoping that we could get to know each other again."

"Travis," Teddi sighed. "That door shut a long time ago. There's no reason for us to be talking again."

"Listen I know I fucked up; I've thought about us every single day for the past five years. That's why things didn't work out with Katy," Travis explained, mentioning his ex-girlfriend, pop star Katy Perry. "I'm gonna forever regret the way I treated you, and I would give anything to make it up to you."

Teddi felt her heart drop. She felt sorry for him, but the feelings were just no longer there. The young, naïve girl that she was at twenty, wasn't who she was now. She refused to ever go back down that road. "Travis, I feel that you're being sincere, and I appreciate your transparency. I don't hold resentment for you anymore. I wish you nothing but the best, but there is no more us. I've let go, and I think it's time that you let go too."

"So, this is it, huh?" Travis asked sadly.

"Yes," Teddi said soft, yet firmly, standing her ground.

"I just want you to know that you're the one who got away."

Teddi snapped her head back and blinked back the tears threatening to fall from her eyes and ruin her makeup. This could not be happening tonight of all nights, she thought. "Please don't say that." Travis, when he was sober, was an amazing man. He was kind and caring. An empath. It's what made her fall for him in the first place. If he was finally clean, and getting back to himself, she didn't down that he would find his soulmate. He was a great guy. Just not her great guy. "Travis you're a great guy. Really. You're gonna find the perfect woman who you'll want to spend the rest of your life. When you meet her, you'll just know."

"So, I guess this is goodbye?" Travis said, sounding defeated.

"Don't view as a bad thing. Think of it as new beginning," Teddi encouraged.

"Well, I guess I have no choice but to accept it."

"Goodbye Travis," Teddi said, letting a tear escape and roll down her cheek.

"Goodbye Teddi," Travis replied before finally hanging up.

Teddi stared down at her phone, dumbfounded by what had just transpired. Another tear fell. Great, now she had to go and touch up her makeup. One good thing about being best friends with JC Chasez? He was never on time. Teddi got up form her California king bed and rushed into the bathroom to touch up her makeup. Her phone rang again, and she answered it, placing it on speaker phone.

"Hello?"

"Where are you guys?" It was Autumn.

"I'm at home. As for JC? Who knows," Teddi replied, as she picked up her beauty blender and dampening it under the dripping faucet. She brought the blender to her face and began to blend in the foundation she had reapplied.

"He probably got distracted," Autumn assumed.

"Probably," Teddi agreed, swiping blush onto the apples of her cheeks. "Are you guys there already?"

"Oh God, no. We're on the 101 stuck in traffic."

"Ugh! Joshua you better hurry your ass up!" Teddi groaned.

"I mean it is a good thing you're performing last, I'm sure you'll make it by then," Autumn joked.

"Oh haha. You'll never guess who just called me," Teddi said, changing the subject.

"Hmm, don't tell me... Ashton Kutcher!"

"If you could only see the look I'm giving you right now," Teddi stated, with her eyes squinted and her lips twisted.

Autumn laughed. "No seriously, who?"

"Travis."

"What?!" Autumn shrieked.

"Yeah, I know, right?!"

"You're not-"

"No, no, no! No way in Hell," Teddi assured her.

"What happened?" Teddi could hear Autumn's boyfriend ask in the background.

"Eyes on the road babe," Autumn snapped. "Good" Autumn said this time to Teddi.

"I was caught so completely off guard. He asked if we could start over," Teddi explained.

"Shut up!" Autumn gasped. "Wait, how did he even get your number?"

"That's exactly what I want to know."

"Creepy."

"Right?!"

"So, what did you say?" Autumn asked curiously.

"I told him as politely as I could that that chapter was closed. There is no longer an us, and that I've forgiven him and moved on, and he should too," Teddi said, summarizing her conversation with Travis.

"You did the right thing," Autumn assured her.

"I know. I just... Gaahh. Now he's all in my head, and it's totally throwing me off," Teddi admitted.

"Don't let it," Autumn responded. "You're gonna do great tonight, you always do. Just think of Josh when you're up there singing."

"Autumn, please not this again." Teddi sighed, as she placed all of her makeup and brushes back into her makeup case.

"Anyone with eyes can see it," Matt yelled into Autumn's phone. "Even people without eyes can see it. Hell, Stevie wonder can see it."

"Matt!" Autumn exclaimed.

"Geez, it's not like he's here!"

Teddi laughed. What would she do without them in her life?

"You're crazy about Josh and he's crazy about you," Autumn said. "And yet you two insist on doing this high school like dance, both refusing to be the one to make the first move. I'm giving you guys exactly a year. If you're not together by then, then I'm kidnapping the both of you and locking you in a cozy romantic cabin somewhere in Tahoe until you guys finally come to your senses and get together!"

"You know sometimes, I don't even know what to say to you," Teddi chuckled.

Ring, ring.

Saved by the freakin' bell, Teddi thought. "That's JC now, gotta go. See you soon."

"Speak of the JC, and he shall appear!" Autumn quipped.

"Bye," Teddi laughed.

"Bye."

Teddi hit the red end button and made her way downstairs.

Ring, ring.

The excessive ringing really was getting annoying. Teddi made a mental note to get JC's key replaced. Hitting the last step, Teddi made her way through the foyer and to the front door. She opened it and came face to face with JC. There he stood in all his glory, clad in a crisp black button down, fitted dark wash True Religion jeans, black leather boots. His short dark hair coifed to perfection, and simple silver cross pendant necklace hung from his neck. Even in such a simple outfit, the man radiated sex. Whoa, Teddi thought. Breathe girl, breathe.

"Whoa," JC said, staring at Teddi. He stood in the doorway taking her in. She looked like a vision in the pink mini dress she wore. It stopped right at her toned thighs and showcase the right amount of cleavage. She looked beautiful in minimal makeup, and her hair tossed to one side. How was he supposed to be able to resist her?

"What?" Teddi asked self-consciously, bringing a hand to her cheek. "D-do I have something on my face?"

"No, no. It's just that you look amazing," JC replied, regaining his composure.

"Wow, thanks," Teddi replied, relieved. "I can say the same about you."

"So, are you ready?" JC asked, brushing off her compliment.

"Yeah, hold on," Teddi replied. She shuffled down the foyer to grab her keys and silver clutch from the foyer table. She retrieved them and walked back to the door. "Ready," she said to JC.

"Alright, let's do this!"

*~*~*~*~*~*~

"So, when are you gonna convince this guy to release another album?"

"I've been trying to," Teddi said pointedly, staring up at JC. Jimmy Iovine's party was in full swing, and Teddi and JC were conversing with songwriter and music producer, Ron Fair. OneRepublic was currently performing.

JC stared down at his boots. Teddi and Ron stared at him. "Umm, I think that ship has sailed," JC finally said.

"Not according to your fans," Teddi countered. "They constantly tweet me asking about you. When are you gonna get on Twitter anyway?"

"Do I need a Twitter? I have a Myspace," JC replied.

"You still have a Myspace page?" Ron asked, smirking.

"JC, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but no one is on Myspace anymore," Teddi said clapping hand on his shoulder.

"So, it looks like we need to backtrack," Ron surmised. "First things first, get your social media in order and then start working on that album. John, I need to talk to you buddy," Ron called, as record executive John Janick walked past them. "Catch up with you guys later," Ron said, leaving Teddi and JC alone.

"He's right you know," Teddi said. "Social media is the future and I think you're underestimating your fanbase."

"I thought tonight was about you," JC said to Teddi.

"You always do that," Teddi stated.

"Do what?"

"Brush off compliments. You're too humble for your own good."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," JC said dismissively.

"You're doing it again!"

"What time is your set again?" JC asked, desperate to change the subject.

Teddi decided to play along. "In about an hour."

"Are you- Oh hey, what's up?" JC was cut off midsentence when Nicole Scherzinger came up and wrapped her arms around JC's torso from behind.

"Hey," Nicole said seductively into his ear. She unwrapped her arms from around him and faced both he and Teddi. "Hi Teddi," she greeted, embracing her in a hug.

"Hey Nicole," Teddi smiled. "I loved your set."

"Thank you," Nicole said, her speaking voice low and sultry.

Nicole had this thing about her, this aura. She was out-of-this-world beautiful, and phenomenally talented. She was sexy without trying to be and was an incredibly nice human being. She was the total package and Teddi could totally understand why JC previously had a fling with her.

"I can't wait to hear your new songs," Nicole said sweetly.

Suddenly, the tension between the three of them began to grow thicker. Teddi needed an out. "Actually, I'm gonna go talk to Tony," Teddi said, referencing the sound engineer. She quickly walked off without looking at either of them.

Teddi headed for the open bar. She and JC frequently took turns being the designated driver, and since she was performing songs that he hadn't heard she decided she needed a little liquid courage. Since it was JC's turn to drive, she figured one more drink wouldn't hurt her. As she rounded the corner of the spacious backyard, she collided with a rock-hard body. Strong arms reached out to steady her, preventing her from falling.

"Whoa, Theodore, watch your step!"

Teddi felt a familiar rush at the sound of his voice and looked up to see Tyson Ritter, one of her exes. When they dated, he used to playfully call her Theodore, despite the fact that Teddi was her legal name, and not a nickname. She used to hate it at first, but eventually it grew on her. Sometimes he'd even call her Theo. She hadn't realized how much she missed being called that until this very moment.

"Oh my God! Tyson, it's so good to see you!" Teddi exclaimed, wrapping her arms around him. He wrapped his arms around her waist, embracing her in a hug. He still smelled just as good as she remembered.

"Good to see you too." Tyson smiled, finally letting her go. "How's life been treating you?"

"Well I'm still clumsy, as I'm sure you can see," Teddi joked. Tyson laughed. His smile warmed her heart.

Tyson had been her first boyfriend after moving to LA. She'd met him backstage at the House of Blues after he'd finished performing with his band, The All-American Rejects. They'd formed an instant connection. Their relationship was easy. Smooth sailing. In fact, he was the best ex she had. He was kind and considerate, faithful, and trustworthy. He was great when it came to date nights and romantic gestures, and the long distance hadn't been a problem. They never fought. Ever. He was like the textbook perfect boyfriend. After a year of dating, they decided to split amicably and always remained on good terms.

"So..." Tyson dragged unsure of what to say.

Teddi smiled. She always loved his adorable awkwardness. It was so endearing. "So..." she pried.

"Are you seeing anyone?"

Teddi laughed.

"Sorry, that was too forward wasn't it?" Tyson asked. He brought his hand to the back of his neck and began to scratch. One of his nervous ticks.

"No Tyson, I'm not seeing anyone," Teddi replied.

"Wow, really?" He asked. "I just thought that by now that... I mean you and... Never mind."

"What?" Teddi asked curiously.

"I just thought that you and JC would be together by now," Tyson said honestly.

"Me and JC?" Teddi asked incredulously.

"I mean, yeah. You always seemed so perfect for each other, and you guys did show up together tonight, and I guess I just assumed..."

"Wow," Teddi stated, taking everything in. "Tyson JC and I aren't together. We never have been, never will be. We're just friends." Why did she feel the need to convince him? Why did it matter?

"Okay," Tyson said simply.

"You don't believe me," Teddi gasped.

"All I'm saying is that there's a reason I walked away."

"Wait? What?!" Teddi asked, shocked. "I thought our split was amicable!"

"I mean, it was to an extent. We were great together."

"Yeah!"

"But I could tell I wasn't your forever, and I didn't want to prolong anything, knowing it was only going to end in heartbreak," Tyson admitted.

For the second time that night, Teddi was left speechless. What was this? Ex-boyfriend night? "I-I..." she stammered. "Tyson, I wasn't going to break your heart." God, now she felt horrible.

"You were amazing Teddi. Are amazing," he corrected. "And all I wanted was to see you happy."

"I was happy with you," Teddi replied. "Very happy!"

"But I knew it wasn't always going to be that way. Your heart belonged to someone else, and I didn't want to be the one to get in the way of that, so I made the difficult decision to step aside."

Teddi stared at him, stunned by the revelation. "Tyson. I don't know what to say." Did she have feelings for JC? Sure, but she didn't want that to get in the way of her relationships. Any hope that she was holding out for she and JC was nothing more than a pipe dream. Wishful thinking. She'd never seriously explore her feeling for JC or pursue anything with him. He was her best friend.

"It's okay," Tyson smiled. He reached for her hand and interlaced his fingers with hers. "You don't have to say anything. We're still good, right?"

"Of course," Teddi smiled back. "Always will be."

"Great. That's all I care about."

Teddi leaned into Tyson and placed her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, embracing her in a hug. She hadn't realized just how much she missed him. "Maybe we should hang out some time," she suggested.

"I'd like that," Tyson replied.

Teddi could feel his chest vibrate as we spoke. "Tandoori Hollywood on the couch? Just like old times?"

"And Dude, Where's My Car?" Tyson responded.

"Sounds perfect," Teddi smiled, looking up at him.

"I'll even let you eat all the naan."

"Is that a promise?" Teddi asked hopefully.

"Promise," Tyson assured her. "You still have my number, right?"

"I never lost it!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*

JC watched from across the yard as Teddi stared up at Tyson Ritter. His arms were wrapped around her waist, and she was tight in his embrace. It was past 9:00 and the sun was starting to set. Red Chinese knot string lights illuminated the yard, creating an orang-y glow. From where he standing, to JC it looked like they were happy.

"Hey dude, what's up?" JC turned to see Autumn.

"Hey Tum," JC greeted her. "Where's Matt?"

"In the bathroom. He ate salmon puffs after I explicitly told him not to."

"TMI," JC cringed.

Autumn followed JC's gaze and spotted Teddi and Tyson. "Do you think they should get back together?"

"Huh?" JC asked.

"Do you think they should get back together?" Autumn repeated. "They were good together."

"Yeah, they were," JC said flatly.

"Or maybe the operative question is, do you want them to get back together?" Autumn pried.

"Why should I care?" JC scoffed. "Teddi's love life is none of my business."

"But you wanna make it your business," Autumn presumed.

"Autumn," JC groaned.

"JC," Autumn mocked.

"Don't start with this again."

"You're an idiot," Autumn said.

"Excuse me?"

"Just do us all a favor and tell you love her. Idiot!"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A little while later, Teddi sat next at a table with JC, Autumn, and Adam. They were by seated close to the stage, and they watched as Fergie wrapped up her set.

"Alright, let's give another round of applause to the Dutchess herself- Fergie," Jimmy Iovine called into the microphone. The audience clapped and cheered. Fergie took another bow before exiting the stage. "Up next, we have a two-time Grammy award winner."

Teddi felt JC place his hand on her knee underneath the table. She took in a deep breath and Jimmy began to introduce her. She wasn't nervous to perform for all the industry executives in attendance. She wasn't nervous because she ran into Tyson. She was nervous to perform her new songs in front of JC. He would be hearing them for the first time along with everyone else. Usually, he was always the first one to hear her songs whether they were in the studio, or at one of their houses. Just the two of them. He could always read her so well, and she was afraid of how he'd react to her songs.

"Everyone give a big round of applause as I welcome our next guest, Teddi Windsor!"

"Well here goes nothing," Teddi mumbled before standing.

"You've got this," JC assured her.

Teddi walked to the stage and met Jimmy at the microphone. He gave her a big hug. Teddi was met with loud claps and cheers. "Thank you having me Jimmy," she said graciously into the microphone. Jimmy smiled and slightly bowed his head to her, before exiting the stage.

"Good evening, how's everyone doing tonight?" Teddi asked the audience. They cheered back at her. "This first song is an oldie, and hopefully you all know it. If not, then maybe I think a little too highly of myself," she joked, and the audience laughed. She looked back at Calvin Harris, who was deejaying. She nodded her head, indicating that she was ready. He started the first track. And Teddi began to sing Tattoo, a song from her previous album. She'd written it about Brody. She smiled when she realized the audience was singing along with her. At the climax she held her microphone out to the audience and let them sing the lyrics:

I can't waste time so give it a moment

I realize nothing's broken no need to worry bout everything I done

Live every second like it was my last one

Don't look back got a new direction

I loved you once

Needed protection

You're still a part of everything I do

You're in my heart just like a tattoo

Teddi finished out the song and was received with a round of applause.

"Thank you. So, you guys do actually know that song! These next few songs however, no one knows. Yet. They're on my upcoming album, and I wrote all three of them myself. This first song is called I Bruise Easily, and I hope you all like it."

Calvin started up the next track, and the mellow sound of the track filled the yard. After the intro, Teddi sang into the microphone.

My skin is like a map

Of where my heart has been

And I can't hide the marks

But it's not a negative thing

So I let down my guard

Drop my defences down by my clothes

I'm learning to fall

With no safety net to cushion the blow

 

I bruise easily

So be gentle when you handle me

There's a mark you leave

Like a love heart carved on a tree

I bruise easily

Can't scratch the surface

Without moving me underneath

I bruise easily

I bruise easily

As she sang, Teddi though of what Autumn told her earlier; Just think of Josh when you're up there singing. And that's exactly what she did. After all, she did write it about him. All of the things she'd longed to say to him over the years. She had gotten her heart broken a fair share of times, and after each heartbreak, JC had been the one to pick up the pieces and put her back together again. She wanted to badly to confess her love to him. To tell him that he was the one for her.

I found your fingerprints

On a glass of wine

Do you know you're leaving them

All over this heart of mine too

But if I never take this leap of faith

I'll never know

So I'm learning to fall

With no safety net to cushion the blow

JC stirred in his seat, every word hitting him like a tidal wave. He had known Teddi long enough to know where her lyrics came from. He could read her like a book, and in some ways, he knew her better than she knew herself. He could deny it to Autumn, and to whoever else, but he couldn't deny it to himself. Teddi was singing to him. The words she had written were meant for him.

Anyone who can touch you

Can hurt you or heal you

Anyone who can reach you

Can love you or leave you

 

So be gentle...

JC felt his chest tighten as he paid close attention to the words she sang. Teddi closed out the song, singing the chorus for a final time. She took a bow and the audience clapped.

"I admit I was a little nervous to sing that one," she said. "It took a lot for me to write it, and I never thought I'd let anyone hear it. This next song is just as close to my heart, and comes from a vulnerable place, so I hope you all can appreciate it."

JC braced himself, waiting for Teddi to sing the next song. He hadn't expected to feel the way he did after the first song, and if this one was coming from an equally vulnerable place, he wouldn't know if he could handle that much honestly in one night. He listened as the sound of guitar strings filled the speakers.

Incompatible, it don't matter though

'Cause someone's bound to hear my cry

Speak out if you do

You're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable

Is already in my life?

Right in front of me

Or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold

Who knows how to love you without being told

Somebody tell me why I'm on my own

If there's a soulmate for everyone

 

Teddi's voice was raw and piercing. Taking JC's breath away.

 

Here we are again, circles never end

How do I find the perfect fit

There's enough for everyone

But I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold

Who knows how to love you without being told

Somebody tell me why I'm on my own

If there's a soulmate for everyone

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory

They're all good but not the permanent one

From her place on the stage, Teddi let the words she'd written pour out from her. JC would know how she felt, even if it was indirect, and this way, she never had to tell him. Being up there and singing these songs, especially in front of JC was cathartic for her. As she brought the song to an end, she was blown away the audience's reaction and was overcome with emotion she received a standing ovation. She stepped away from the microphone and turned her back toward the audience to quickly wipe her tears.

She turned back to face the audience and leaned into the microphone. "Oh my God, wow! I was not expecting that, like at all!" Teddi exclaimed. "Thank you guys so much, you're all so amazing!" She took a moment to compose herself before speaking again. "Okay this next song is not as sappy, I promise! It's called These Words, and I hope you all like it."

Calvin started up the next track, and an up-tempo drum beat filled the yard. "Everyone clap your hands," Teddi commanded, as she clapped her own overhead. The audience followed suit. She took the microphone from the stand and walked around the stage as she began to sing.

Threw some chords together

The combination D-E-F

It's who I am, it's what I do

And I was gonna lay it down for you

Try to focus my attention

But I feel so A-D-D

I need some help, some inspiration

But it's not coming easily

 

Teddi thought back to when she began writing the song. She wanted to express her love for JC in a song, but no matter how hard she tried, lyrics wouldn't come. She'd wanted nothing more than to call him up and ask for help. But she couldn't. The song was about him. The song took her weeks to finish.

Trying to find the magic (Woah oh)

Trying to write a classic (Woah oh)

Don't you know, don't you know, don't you know? (Woah oh)

Waste-bin full of paper

Clever rhymes, see you later

These words are my own

From my heart flow

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you

There's no other way

To better say

I love you, I love you

 

JC bobbed his head along to the rhythm, the lyrics not lost on him. I love you. She loved him.

Read some Byron, Shelley and Keats

Recited it over a Hip-Hop beat

I'm having trouble saying what I mean

With dead poets and drum machines

JC's favorites poets. He thought back to when she was nineteen, and they were working on her first album. She'd had a raw talent for songwriting, that needed polishing and refining. She was frustrated that couldn't perfectly articulate her feelings into lyrics, so JC had lent her some books with poems by his favorite poets. He loved watching her grow into the artist that she was now. She'd gone from being a sheltered and naïve teenager to a self-assured and confident grown woman.

You know I had some studio time booked

But I couldn't find a killer hook

Now you've gone and raised the bar right up

Nothing I write is ever good enough

Teddi thought about how expressive JC was. He was so cerebral, and every song he wrote was its own masterpiece. In the seven years that she had known him, Teddi wanted to be just as good as him, and for him to be proud her. She wanted to be good enough for him, in more ways than one.

I'm getting off my stage

The curtains pull away

No hyperbole to hide behind

My naked soul exposes

Teddi was removing her filter. She liked to crack jokes, and hide behind her humor. Now, she was being honest, and laying her heart on the line. Teddi repeated the course twice, and sand the last lines in a sing-speaking style:

These words are my own

From my heart

I love you, I love you

That's all I got to say

Can't think of a better way

And that's all I've got to say

I love you, is that okay?

Teddi received another standing ovation. Her heart was full. She did it. She sang her most vulnerable lyrics in front of the person they were intended for. "Thank you!" Teddi cheered into the microphone and took one final bow. She turned her head in JC's direction. He was standing and clapping, with a smile on his face a mile wide. Her heart nearly exploded. JC liked it, and that was all that mattered to her.

*~*~*~**~*~**~*~*

It was 2:00 am, and JC and Teddi were finally on their way home. The party was a success and so was Teddi performance. As she sat in the passenger seat of JC's black Mercedes E-Class, she rode the wave of post-performance endorphins. With one of JC's old jackets draped over her shoulders, Teddi turned up the radio, and leaned back into the passenger seat, making herself comfortable. Traffic was heavy, as per usual on a Friday night in LA, so the ride would be long.

JC glanced over at Teddi. She looked adorable being swallowed up by his jacket. Her eyes were closed, and her head rested against the headrest. He smiled at how peaceful and angelic she looked. He wished he could take a picture of her just like that.

"Stop staring at me Jace," Teddi sighed, her eyes still shut.

"I'm not staring at you," JC replied, fighting off the urge to laugh.

She opened her eyes and met his, his gaze on her intense. Her heart dipped to her stomach. "So, what do you call what you're doing now?"

"Not staring... observing."

Teddi grinned and closed her eyes again. "Smooth Mr. Chasez, real smooth." She could feel the car slowly pull forward. Traffic had started to move forward, and they were headed onto the interstate.

A comfortable silence washed over them, as music began to play on the Sirius XM station.

"Ooh turn that up," Teddi demanded, when You Sang to Me by the Marc Anthony began to play. It was hard for her to pinpoint a favorite song when she was asked, but if someone put a gun to her head and she'd have to choose, without hesitation she would say You Sang to Me was her favorite.

"Seriously?" JC smiled and rolled his eyes but obliged anyway. "You know I actually used to like this song before you played it to death," he said conceding to her wishes. He turned up the radio and Marc Anthony's voice filled the car.

Teddi sang along. "I just wanted you to comfort me, when I call you late last night you see I was falling into love, yes I was crashing into love..."

JC rolled his eyes as Teddi emphasized every word.

"You know why I never share this song with any of my boyfriends?"

"Why?" JC asked curiously.

"Because if I ever made this a song in a relationship, when they inevitably break my heart, I wouldn't be able to listen to it, anymore, and I cannot imagine my life without out this song in it."

JC felt sad for her. Much like him, music was Teddi's driving force and she like to attach certain songs to certain parts of her life. He hadn't realized just how much the song meant to her. He listened as she began to sing the chorus.

"All the while you were in front of me, I never realized, I just can't believe I didn't see it in your eyes," Teddi sang. "Ugh, this song is just so beautiful I have to have Marc Anthony sing this at my wedding someday! JC sing," Teddi encouraged.

"Uh-uh, no way," JC chuckled.

"Please," Teddi begged. "For me?" He had the most beautiful voice on earth and hearing him sing those lyrics would make her night. Hell, it would make her life! "Please..."

JC could never say no to Teddi. Very few people had that power over him. Hell, his mom was the only other person who had that power over him.

"Josh, please..."

JC relented, and belted out the second verse, "Just to think you love inside of me, I had no idea how this could be, now I'm crazy for you, can't believe I'm crazy for your love. The words you said, you sang to me, and you showed me where I wanna be, and you sang to me, ooooh you sang to me...."

Teddi watched as JC sang the verse with such passion and vigor. Butterflies swirled in the pit of her stomach as she imagined that he was singing the words to her.

"Happy?" He asked her.

"As can be," Teddi smiled.

An hour later JC had pulled in front of Teddi's house. He drove up to the gate and rolled down his window to enter in the code to her security gate. Once inside, he creeped up the cobblestoned  driveway to the Spanish style villa. He drove her all the way to her front door.

"Thanks JC," Teddi said, breaking the silence.

"For, what?" JC asked.

"For... everything." Teddi replied, choosing her words carefully. The bit down on her bottom lip and mulled over what she was about to say. "For always being there for me, for never failing me."

JC stared at Teddi, his heart swelling. "That's what friends are for."

Friends. That word turned over and over in her mind.

"JC," Teddi spoke again.

"Yes?"

"My songs," she replied.

"What about them?" JC asked nervously.

"What did you think of them?" Teddi asked.

"I thought they were great," JC answered honestly. "They showed much growth and maturity. I think they should be the first three singles on the new album."

Teddi sighed. That hadn't been the answer she'd been looking for. Maybe she should just leave it alone. But there was something nagging at her, and she wouldn't be satisfied until she spoke her mind. "JC. You know those songs are about you, right?" She bowed her head, too afraid to look at him.

A moment of silence passed between them, but it felt like an eternity. When JC hadn't spoken, she finally turned to look at him. He seemed to be deep in thought. "JC? Say something, please."

"I know," JC sighed.

Teddi took a deep breath. It was all out there. She anxiously waited for him to say more.

JC's mind raced a million miles a minute. He knew those songs were about him. He knew how she felt about him, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't feel the same. But he also saw the way she looked at Tyson tonight. How in love she looked. Tyson had been her most stable boyfriend. The only one he had approved of. He was a great guy, and Teddi had been so in love with him. The way she looked at him tonight was the same way she looked at him all those years ago back when they were together. He couldn't take that chance with her if there was someone else. If he was gonna have her, he wanted all of her, not just a piece. Most of all, he couldn't risk losing his best friend.

"I can't go there with you Teddi," JC finally said. He looked out his window, not wanting to see her face when he said those words.

JC's words hit Teddi like a ton of bricks. All these years that she'd been falling for JC, and she was almost sure he'd felt the same. Had it all been in her head the entire time? Oh my God, she thought. I am such an idiot. "Are you really telling me that you don't have feelings for me?"

"Teddi, you are one of my closest friends, and I love you more than anything. I just... I don't love you in that way," JC lied. He was trying to convince himself more than anyone else. It hurt to say those words, so he couldn't imagine how much they hurt Teddi. His heart shattered at the thought that he was breaking hers. He finally turned to look at her. She was wiping away tears. "Teddi I-"

"No. It's fine JC. I'm fine. You don't have to explain yourself, it's okay." Teddi reached into the backseat and grabbed her clutch. She took off his jacket and tossed it in the back. She opened the passenger door and put one leg out. Before she could get out of the car, JC reached for, grabbing her arm.

"Are you really gonna leave things like this between us?" he asked.

"I don't know what you want me to say," Teddi replied.

Say that we're okay, please JC thought. "So, you're going to pretend like this isn't happening?"

"Now that I know how you feel, yeah," Teddi responded coldly. "This is all my fault I never should have said anything. Goodnight JC." Teddi got out of the car, and slammed the door shut behind her.

JC watched as she unlocked her door and waited until she was safely inside. He sat outside of her house for a while contemplating everything that had just taken place. He felt the urge to walk up to the door, ring the bell, barge in, and tell her that he'd made a mistake. That she was the love of his life, and that he didn't want anyone else but her. It took everything in his power to pull out of her driveway that night. Teddi had put her heart on the line, and all JC had to do was not break it, and he failed. He ruined everything.

 

Anyone who can touch you

Can hurt you or heal you

Anyone who can reach you

Can love you or leave you

 

 

Spring 2012

"I can't get over it!" Teddi gushed. "You're finally engaged!"

"I know. I always said I couldn't be surprised, but Matt really pulled out all the stops!"

"Let me see the ring again," Teddi said, reaching for Autumn's left hand. The four-carat classic emerald cur Harry Winston ring shone brightly, and the reflection from the sun gave it a blinding effect. "He did good."

Teddi and Autumn were seated outside of Caffe Roma in Beverly Hills, catching up over lunch. Teddi's tour had ended three months prior, but when she finally came home, Autumn had been in New Orleans, working on a film she was producing for the Hallmark channel. This was the first time in more than six months that they were able to just sit and talk. And a lot had happened in those six months, like Autumn getting engaged.

"I know, right?! I feel like I have to everything with my left hand now, just so I can show off this thing!" Autumn and Teddi shared a laugh. "So, it looks like you're next."

"Oh, please don't start," Teddi rolled her eyes. "Marriage is so not on my radar right now."

"You're joking, right? You and Tyson are practically married!"

"Tyson and I are happy," Teddi replied, taking a sip of her iced tea. "We're comfortable where we are right now. Marriage is a big step."

Autumn stared at her friend, feeling sorry for her. Anyone with eyes to see and ears to hear could tell that Teddi was in love with JC. At one point, she was almost sure they would get together. They'd come so close two years ago, and out then out of nowhere they seemingly did a one-eighty. JC was dating someone new, and Teddi got back with Tyson. What happened? It wasn't that she didn't like Tyson. She loved Tyson for Teddi. In fact, he'd be perfect for her, if JC didn't exist. But he did exist, and it blew her, and all their friends minds that they were not together.

"It's only a big step if you're not with the right person," Autumn stated.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Teddi asked, not liking where the conversation was going.

"You know what it means," Autumn said pointedly. She took a bite of her Niçoise salad, and leaned back in her chair, folding her arms across her chest.

"Please, not this again," Teddi groaned. She pushed away her salmon and asparagus. Suddenly, she wasn't in the mood to eat anymore.

"I just don't understand where things went so wrong," Autumn said. "Please help me to understand."

Teddi though back on the events last year and half. That night, after Jimmy's party when she'd finally got up the courage to tell JC she loved him, and how he shot her down. When she went in the house, she only made it as far as the living room, where she collapsed on the sofa and cried herself to sleep. Her heart was completely shattered. JC didn't love her, and he never would. It had taken her a while to accept things, but once she did, she was able to pick herself back up and move on with life. It was the first time in her life that she had to rebuild herself after a broken heart, without JC. She didn't know she was capable of such a thing, but it gave her strength she hadn't realize she had. She came to the realization that she didn't need JC like she convinced herself that she did, and she would be fine without him. It had taken a few months, but she and JC had gotten back on speaking terms. It was a tough conversation to have, but they both agreed that it was best that they stayed friends. Their friendship was the most important thing, and they didn't want to throw almost a decade of friendship out the window. Soon, things were back to normal between them. Or, as normal as they could be. They never spoke of that night again, and sometimes Teddi liked to pretend it never happened at all. She never told anyone about what happened that night, and judging by Autumn's prying and oblivious questions, she assumed JC hadn't either.

"Nothing went wrong," Teddi finally said. "We're just not meant to be."

 

Five Months Later

"Babe, c'mon we're gonna be late!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming," JC called as he rushed down the steps.

"You're gonna be late to your own funeral. It's a good thing Autumn's your best friend and doesn't expect you to be punctual!"

"Tum knows my heart," JC quipped. He stared down at his girlfriend, Kathryn, and took her in. She looked beautiful in the black spaghetti strap Armani dress, and Tiffany earrings he bought for her. Her chestnut brown hair was pulled tightly in a bun, showcasing her perfectly symmetrical face. Thanks to their recent vacation to the south of France, her tan skin was even more bronzed. "So, it looks like I'm going to have the most beautiful woman in the world on my arm tonight," he said, snaking an arm around her waist a pulling her close for a kiss.

"Ugh, do not change the subject," Kathryn said between kisses. She reached up to straighten his tie.

"I cannot help it that you're so irresistible," JC said, his voice low and seductive.

Kathryn fought a smile. God, she had to be the luckiest woman in the world. "Knock if off JC, we have to get going!"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Did you feed Apollo before we left?" Tyson asked Teddi. They were sitting in his Range Rover waiting in line for valet parking at the  Four Seasons where Autumn and Matt's engagement party was being held.

"No, I thought you did," Teddi replied, narrowing her eyes at him. "Oh my God, did we not feed Apollo?! We are the worst dog parents ever! Maybe I can call the Richards and see if they're home..." Panicking, Teddi opened her clutch and pulled out her cell phone.

Tyson watched her amused. He finally stopped her when he realized that she was actually about to call the neighbors and ask them to feed their labradoodle. "Babe, babe. Stop!"

"What?" Teddi asked.

Tyson took the phone from her hands, and she looked over to him. He had a shit eating grin on his face and couldn't hide the laughter bubbling inside him. "Baby, I fed Apollo before we left. I'm just messing with you!"

"Tyson!" Teddi exclaimed, and playfully smacked his arm. "Babe, that's not funny."

Tyson snickered. "I couldn't help myself, you're so cute when you go into panic mode! You're going to make an amazing mom one day." He leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"God willing," Teddi mumbled. Although she hadn't expressed it to Tyson, she was upset at the fact that she'd gotten her period that morning. She knew it was stupid, and she shouldn't get her hopes up, but after having been a week late she was hoping that she was finally pregnant.  She'd been trying to hid her devastation all day.

A few months prior, four weeks before her birthday, she and Tyler had been swinging in the hammock in their back yard gazing up at the stars. With her head on his chest, and blanket covering them, they swung back and forth, listening to the sound of crickets, and watching as fireflies glowed in all their wonder. It was the perfect night.

"Babe," Tyson said.

"Yeah," Teddi replied, looking up at him.

"What do you want for your birthday?"

"What do I want for my birthday?" She repeated.

"Yes, what do you want?"

"Wow, I don't know, I haven't even thought about it."

"C'mon, if you could have anything in the world, what would it be?" He challenged her.

"Anything at all?" Teddi asked.

"Anything at all."

She stared at Tyson for a moment, searching his eyes, before finally giving him an honest answer. "Tyson, I want a baby."

After that night, she'd made an appointment with her gynecologist to get her IUD removed. They'd been trying for three months now, and still no baby. Teddi knew that she shouldn't give up hope after only three months of trying. After all, she'd been on birth control since she as fifteen, and now she was twenty-seven. She knew that her body needed a while regulate her cycle, and she wasn't even thirty yet. Her gynecologist told her it would be perfectly normal if she didn't get pregnant within the first six months of trying, and that at twenty-seven she was at an optimal age to conceive. Still, there was a voice in the back of her mind reminding her that nearly everyone woman on her mother's side of the family had trouble conceiving or carrying a baby to term.

"Don't worry baby, it's gonna happen," Tyson assured. He pulled forward in the valet line. There was now only one car in front of them. He reached for her hand across the center console and brought it up to his lips for a kiss.

"I know," Teddi replied. "You know how impatient I am, though."

"Trust me, when it does happen, everything will fall into place and it will be perfect!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The engagement party was well underway, drinks were flowing, people were dancing, and everyone was having a good time. The venue room of the Four Seasons had been transformed into an immaculate theme of white and gold. Teddi had made sure to take lots of pictures and videos, documenting the night. Autumn and Matt looked so happy, and Teddi was happy for them.

As she sat at her table, next to Tyson she took in her surroundings. She was grateful and her heart swelled with gratitude. She was finally in a good place in her life. She was surrounded by people she loved, and people who loved her back. She was excited a humbled to witness Autumn and Matt's relationship, how they'd overcome so many obstacles, how strong their love for each other was, how they never gave up on each other and how they kept fighting for each other. Teddi moved her focus to Tyson. She watched him as he laughed and smiled watching Autumn and Matt attempt the lift from Dirty Dancing. Tyson had been such a blessing and welcomed surprise in her life. After that night at Jimmy Iovine's party, Tyson had called her the very next day, completely unaware that she was nursing a broken heart. He'd been just what she needed at the right time. Her eyes shifted from Autumn and Matt to Tyson and back again. She hoped and prayed that someday she and Tyson would be where Autumn and Matt were.

Across the room standing at the bar, JC couldn't keep his eyes off of Teddi. She looked beautiful with her hair in a fancy updo, and her black lacy floor length gown. More than beautiful, she looked happy. Truly happy. It radiated off of her. As painful as it was, JC knew he'd made the right decision when decided not to pursue his feelings for her. In the moment it hurt like hell. It was torture not talking to her for months, not working with her. Not knowing if she was okay, or if they'd ever be okay. If he'd ever had her back in his life again. He had been so relieved when she called him up and asked him to meet with her. They met up for lunch that day at Perch and hashed everything out.

"Josh, you've been a part of my career from the very beginning, and in turn, you've been a part of my life, and you've played an integral part in both my professional and personal life. You became more than a colleague; you became my best friend. You've seen the best in me and the worst in me. You've been there for through all of my ups and downs, picking up my heart and putting it back together again each time it got broken. We've shared so many amazing experiences together, that I wouldn't have wanted to share with anyone else in this world. You've taught me so much. About music, about life, and about myself, and I can't thank you enough for that. I've always looked up to you, and I guess I sort of subconsciously held up on this pedestal. I don't know, I guess I just got so caught up in- I don't know. What I'm trying to say is that my feelings were misplaced. I thought, and I really believed that I was in love with you. I had gone through so much with Brody and Travis and Brendan, and you were there for all of it. It convinced me that maybe there was something more between us, and now I realize that none of this feels right. God, me and you? Could you even imagine? I mean, I had been drinking that night, and I had been confronted with some things that I hadn't expected to face. I guess I just got caught up in the moment. I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have just emotionally dumped on you like that. It wasn't fair to you, and I should have never put you in that position. Is there any way we can move past this? I really miss my best friend."

JC had been so taken aback by Teddi's words that day. Being as strong willed as she was, he didn't expect her to go back on her word like that. Especially after having gone six months without speaking, he was for sure she hated him. An apology was the last thing he expected. After that day, they never spoke of that night after the party again. It was almost like it never happened. Almost.

"Hey baby, deep in thought?"

JC turned to see Kathryn. She was back from the bathroom. "Hey babe," he said, kissing her on the cheek. "I was just thinking back to when Matt and Autumn first met," he lied.

"They're so right for each other," Kathryn stated, looping her arm with is. "C'mon let's go dance!"

JC let Kathryn drag him onto the dancefloor. The deejay was spinning Me, Myself, and I by De La Soul. Kathryn circled around JC, stopping in front of him, and grinding her backside against his pelvis seductively. The song slowly faded into a much slower one, changing the mood.

What day is it?

And in what month,

This clock never seemed so alive...

JC's heart dropped to his stomach, unbeknownst to Kathryn. "Ooh, I love this song," she marveled, unaware of its significant meaning to her boyfriend. She turned around to face JC and wrapped her arms loosely around his neck, draping over his shoulders. JC wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close to him, and they began to -sway back and forth to the music. Kathryn lay her head against JC's shoulder and closed her eyes as they swayed in time to the music.

JC watched as Tyson led Teddi onto the dancefloor. They assumed the universal slow dance position and began to slowly sway. He watched as Teddi stared into Tyson's eyes, lovestruck.

'Cause it's you and me

And all of the people with nothing to do

Nothing to lose

And it's you and me

And all of the people

And I don't know why

I can't keep my eyes off of you

 

May 2006

"Hello? Whoa, Teddi slow down, what's wrong? Say no more, I'll be there."

It was 9:00 pm on a Friday night, and Teddi had called JC in hysterics. Brody had cheated on her with some Playboy Playmate named Jayde, and now the girl was harassing Teddi. Brody refused to answer her calls. When she logged onto Myspace and saw picture of him with Jayde in a nightclub, she knew why he wouldn't answer.

45 minutes later, JC was at Teddi's West Hollywood penthouse with Ghirardelli dark chocolate, a pint of Ben and Jerry's Half Baked and a bottle of Barefoot sweet red wine. "Ya know, I don't why you insist on this cheap ass wine, when I could easily get you a bottle of Bordeaux." He joked when Teddi opened the door for him.

Grateful for his presence, she tossed her arms around him nearly knocking him down.

"Why do you keep going back to him?" JC asked curiously. They were sitting on her couch, halfway through Notting Hill. Teddi had this thing about heartbreak and Julia Roberts' movies that JC didn't quite understand.

"He's the first guy to ever tell me he loved me," Teddi replied, nonchalantly, and she took another bite of ice cream. She was buzzed from the wine, the tears had stopped, and the edge had worn off.

"Wait, Travis never told you he loved you?" JC asked. He had his own spoon and dug into the Ben & Jerry's pint.

Teddi scoffed, "Pfftt, no!"

"So, you keep going back to Brody because you think he loves you?"

"Pathetic, I know," Teddi lamented. "Such low standards, I have."

JC felt sorry for her. She was too incredible to have such a low  self-esteem. If only she could see herself the way he saw her.

"You don't have to put up with his bullshit, Teddi. Do you know who the hell you are? Guys would be lined up around the block to date you!"

"Yeah, right," Teddi smirked.

"I'm serious."

"I used to be fat, Jace," Teddi stated, curling her knees into her chest.

"Um.. okay, I don't know what that has to do wi-"

"Like really fat. High school was a living hell for me. My junior year, I got asked to go to homecoming by Jack Nelson, the quarterback of the football team. As a joke. No guy like Brody would have would have ever looked twice at a girl like me, let alone date me." 

JC watched as she lifted the bottle of wine and took a swig from it. His heart broke for her. "So, what happened?" He asked curiously, not sure he wanted to know the aftermath of the homecoming fiasco.

"The summer before senior year I discovered that if I vomited after every meal, then I could have my cake and eat it too. I lost seventy-five pounds by the time school started back that Fall. Jack was all over me, and I ended up giving him my virginity on the beach after a bonfire."

"Teddi,"

"Don't lecture me JC, I already know how pathetic I am."

"You are not path-" JC was cut off by the sound of Teddi's ringtone. He watched as the pink Motorola Razr vibrated against the glass coffee table.

What day is it, and it what month?

This clock never seemed so alive

"Grrrr," Teddi whined. "God, why did I have to give him that ringtone? It's my favorite song, and now I'll never be able to listen to it again because of him!"

JC picked up her phone from the table.

"JC , what are you doing?" Teddi asked, panicked.

JC flipped open Teddi's phone and hit the red end button, to screen the call. Next, he went into her contacts and found Brody's number and deleted from her phone. "There. No Brody, no ringtone, no problem." He tossed the phone back to her.

Teddi sat there speechless. "Where are you going?" She asked, when JC got up from the couch.

He didn't respond, he walked down the hall and towards her room. Moments later, he came back with her Mac laptop in hand. He opened it, and sat down on the couch next to her.

"What are you doing?" Teddi asked.

"Type in your password," JC instructed, handing the computer over to Teddi. She did what he said. "Oh, c'mon you've gotta be kidding me," JC sighed when the computer started up and revealed a picture of Teddi and Brody as her wallpaper.

"It's a cute picture," Teddi said defensively. The beach was their backdrop as they sat at a table on the porch of Brody's father, Bruce Jenner's beach house in Malibu. Brody clad in a blue and orange striped Ralph Lauren polo with the white color popped, and khaki shorts sat in a white plastic lawn chair, and Teddi in his lap. She had side swept bangs, and her hair up in a ponytail. Her light brown hair streaked with chunky blonde highlights, and her eyes rimmed with thick dark eyeliner. She wore a grey velour Abercrombie jacket over a purple Hollister tee, a string of pearls around her neck,  and a pair of American Eagle jeans. It had been the perfect Saturday at the beach, and Brody's older stepsister, Kourtney wanted to capture the moment.

"Cute my ass," JC snorted. He clicked the Internet Explorer tab on her taskbar, and once it popped up, he typed MTV's Overdrive site into the address bar.

"What are you doing?" Teddi asked as she watched JC typing away on the keyboard. Suddenly she heard You and Me by Lifehouse starting to play.

"Stand up," JC directed.

"Jace, what?"

"Stand up," JC repeated. Teddi did as he said. JC grabbed her by the hand and led her to an open spot in the living room. He picked her arms up and placed them on top of his shoulders. He wrapped his arms around her waist and brought her close.

Teddi, completely caught off guard, stared into his piercing blue eyes. His gaze was intense. "What are you doing?"

"Dance with me," JC whispered. He started sway, and Teddi swayed along with him. "You shouldn't have to give up your favorite things become of some dumb asshole who can't see how amazing you are. This is our song now."

There's something about you now

That I can't quite figure out

Everything she does is beautiful

Everything she does is right

 

In the moment, he may have been dancing with Kathryn, but whenever he heard this song, he was instantly transported back to that night six years ago, slow dancing with Teddi in her apartment, desperate to make her forget about Brody. Kathryn kept her head on JC's shoulder, and JC continued to keep his eye on Teddi. A strong wave of emotion washed over him when he caught her eye. Tyson's back was turned, and Teddi was facing JC, there eyes locked from across the room. It's as of time had stood still if only for a moment.

And it's you and me and all of the people

And I don't know why

I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?

And in what month?

This clock never seemed so alive

One Month Later

"Babe, I'm home," Teddi called as she walked through the front door. Her sister, Tori, was in town for a work conference, and she'd been able to spend the afternoon with her before she had to head back to the convention center for a seminar. She locked the door behind her, and when she turned around, she was met with Apollo rushing her. "Hey boy," she smiled. Teddi bent down to hug and put him, and he attacked her with slobbery dog kisses.  She stood back up, and headed for the bedroom, with Apollo at her heels following her every move.

"Tyson," Teddi called again as she made her way up the steps. It had been an adjustment getting used to Tyson's smaller home in Anaheim, but it was a worthy sacrifice. She missed her Spanish villa in Calabasas, but it was big and lonely. She preferred the quaint comfort of his rustic themed colonial to her oversized mansion. Most of all, she was with someone she loved, and they were trying to start a family. "Tyson?"

Teddi finally reached their bedroom and was surprised to find clothes, shoes, boxes, and luggage items strewn all over the floor. "Tyson what's going on?" Teddi asked. She bent down to pick up an old yearbook of Tyson's and started to flip through it.

"Tell me I'm not crazy."

Teddi looked up from the yearbook, startled by Tyson's voice. It sounded shaken and panicked.

"What? Tyson, what's wrong?" Teddi asked, her nerves standing at attention. She searched his eyes, and they looked pained and confused. She walked over to where he was standing by the closet.

"Teddi, what the fuck is this?" Tyson asked, pointing at a brown cardboard box.

"What is what?" Teddi asked confused.

"I don't know, you tell me," Tyson demanded.

Teddi's eyes never left his, as she bent down to look inside the box, moving the flaps out of the way. She felt around the box and pulled an item out. Her heart sank when she saw that it was a framed picture of she and JC. The frame was silver and engraved in a floral design. They shared an embrace on the Santa Monica Pier. The picture was filtered in black and white. Teddi looked back into the box. Cards and letters written to her from JC over the years. Birthday cards, Valentine's Day cards, song lyrics, stuffed animals, jewelry. A collection of things he'd given her over the years.

"You said I had nothing to worry about," Tyson said in an unsettling even tone.

"Tyson, I-" Teddi was at lost for words. This was being thrown at her from left field.

"So, you're not even going to try and explain yourself?"

"What is there to explain? There is nothing between JC and I. Never has been, and never will be." She couldn't believe this. What was Tyson doing?

"Could've fooled me," Tyson mumbled, as he angrily stormed past her.

"Whoa, wait a fucking second! You don't get to go through my belongings, accuse me of something, and the just walk away!" Teddi shouted, following him out into the hallway. Her blood was boiling, and hands began to shake. "Why do you even have this out? How did you even find it? I had it in the attic!"

"So, you admit that you were hiding it from me," Tyson yelled. He started pacing the hallway

"I'm not hiding shit from you! You know JC is my best friend," Teddi snapped.

"Why do you have a fucking JC box?!"

"I don't have a JC box! It's just a box of things he's given me." Shit! Teddi mentally scolded herself. That did not sound any better.

"Great, that just makes me feel fan-fucking-tastic!" Tyson quipped sarcastically. He was now standing in front of Teddi. His 6'1 frame towering over her 5'2 one. He leaned down so they were at eye level. "You don't have an Autumn box, or a Dallas box, or a Shannon or Mischa box! Please don't feed me that bullshit about him being just a fucking friend!"

The look in his eyes, terrified Teddi, but she refused to back down. "He is just a fucking friend," she growled through clenched teeth.

"Bullshit, fucking bullshit! You're in love with him," Tyson accused.

"What?!" Teddi gasped, her eyes bulging. "How fucking dare you!"

"How dare I? I'm not the one who's in love with someone else, while being in a committed relationship with someone else entirely."

"That's right, I am fucking committed, and I love you Tyson, or else I wouldn't have sold my home, my dream home that I worked my ass off for to live with you!" Teddi screamed, her voice piercing the air. Apollo scrambled into their bedroom and hid under the bed. "I'm so committed that I've been trying to have your baby, Tyson. Not JC's yours! I've taken a step back from my music for you, to turn this house int a home, for us. I'm doing everything I can to make this work!"

"You may be doing everything, but you're not giving everything," Tyson said, sounding exhausted.

"Excuse me?" Teddi asked.

"You're doing everything that you think your supposed to do to make this," he motioned between the two of them, "work. Like ticking off items on a bucket list. Move in together? Check. Get a dog? Check. Have a baby? Check. You're doing what you think a successful couple is supposed to do."

Teddi stared at Tyson through glassy eyes, his words piercing her like bullets.

"But you're not giving yourself. I've given myself to you time and time again. I've been vulnerable with you. Dammit you know things about me that even my family doesn't. But you? It's like you have this impenetrable wall around you that no matter how hard I try, I can't break through. You like to go through life pretending that everything's fine, and it's not. You act like nothing gets to you, and it's a lie. It's all bullshit. The shit I've had to find out about you from your parents and your sister and your friends. Things you should have told me!"

"Tyson I-"

"Were you ever gonna tell me you spent time in a psychiatric hospital? That you were bulimic?!"

Teddi was visibly shaking. It was all she could do to not crumble to the ground. Never in her life had she felt so violated by someone's words. Each syllable like a thrashing whip across her skin.

"As long as we've been together, I've never seen you struggle, you barely even let me see you cry. We're supposed to be trying to start a family, and I don't even know who it is I'm sleeping next to. But I bet JC fuckin' Chasez knows it all. I bet he can create a Teddi Windsor encyclopedia. Hell, a Teddi Windsor National Library!"

"Tyson, stop it!" Teddi shouted

"Stop what Teddi? I'm just telling you the truth, stop trying to run from it!"

"Tyson you have no idea what you're talking about."

"I'm not an idiot, Teddi. I can see it in your eyes. I saw it that night at the engagement party, the way you two looked at each other, it was unmistakable," Tyson said sadly. "I thought- I thought that when we got back together, that you were over him. I convinced myself that you didn't have feelings for him. Damn, I'm such an idiot."

"Tyson, I want to be with you," Teddi pleaded, tears streaming down her face.

"Because for whatever reason, you can't have JC," Tyson replied bitterly. "I don't want to be the one you settle for."

"Tyson, I am not settling. I am making a choice to be with you. I choose you!"

"You are choosing to settle. That may be okay for you, but I don't want to settle, Teddi."

"Tyson, that's not true."

"Dammit Teddi it is. Can't you see? I've fought and I've fought to be the guy for you. I waited for six years for you to come back to me. Six years! And I still have to share you with JC. I can't fucking compete with that. This is tearing me apart. Constantly wondering what you're doing with him when you're in the studio, or if you're alone with him at his house. Wondering if you're being faithful. I'm going crazy, here. I don't even know who I am anymore." Tyson was crying.

Teddi watched Tyson and it felt like she watching the demolition of a historic landmark. The pain in his eyes ripped her to the core, and it was all her fault. "Tyson, please..." words wouldn't come to her. "If you just-I can-I promise tha-"

"No more promises Teddi. I'm done."

I'm done. He was walking away from her both literally and figuratively. Teddi started following down the stairs. "Tyson don't do this," she pleaded. Once she reached the bottom of the steps, she reached out for his wrist. He spun around and locked eyes with her.

"Look me in they eye and tell me that you're not in love with him," Tyson demanded.

Teddi stared back at him. There was silence between them. Teddi opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She couldn't do it. She'd already hurt Tyson enough. She couldn't add insult to injury by looking him in the eye and lying to him. It would be too cruel.

"I guess I have my answer," Tyson said flatly. He grabbed his keys from the coffee table and headed for the door.

"TYSON!" Teddi cried, her voice reaching a deafening decibel. Frozen in place, she watched as he walked out the door and slammed it behind him. Feeling the walls enclose around her, her chest began to tighten, and she crumbled to the ground in a heap of tears. There she was once again, broken and alone.

 

 

 

May 2013

Wilmington, North Carolina

"Mom, I'm back!" Teddi called, upon entering the Windsor home. She let Apollo off his leash and he immediately ran to his water bowl.

"In my office," Teddi's mother, Deborah replied.

Teddi followed her mother's voice from the kitchen, through the hallway, and into her study. "Hey mom, Apollo has been walked and fed," she informed her mother.

"Thank you.I am so backed up on work, and I just couldn't step away," Deborah responded, while she sat at her desk, busily typing away on her computer.

"Are you kidding me? It's the least I can do." She pulled out one of the rolling chairs and sat down in front of her mother's desk. "I can't thank you and Dad enough for taking him for me." Teddi had been wracked with guilt after having to relinquish Apollo. Especially after she'd fought Tyson so hard for him during the breakup. But, as she started working and traveling again, she realized that she couldn't give him the love and attention that he deserved. Her parents, empty nesters with no grandchildren, offered to take him without any hesitation.

"It's nothing. If I can't have grandchildren, at least I have a dog," Deborah said pointedly.

Teddi winced inwardly. She hadn't mentioned her fertility concerns to her mother. She never even told her that she and Tyson had been trying. She wanted to surprise them when it happened, and unfortunately it never did.

"So, what do you have planned for the day?" Deborah asked.

"I'm going down to Switch later tonight to check out this new band. I've heard great things about them, and if I like what I hear, I may ask them if they're interested in recording for the album," Teddi explained.

"That sounds like fun," Deborah mused.

"I'm kind of nervous," Teddi admitted.

"Well, that's crazy honey, why would you be nervous? You've been doing this your whole life!"

"Yeah, but not like this." Back in February, Teddi had received a call from Chase Anderson, one of friends from high school. His New York Times bestselling book A Stranger Among Us was being adapted into a major motion picture, and he wanted her to produce the soundtrack. Teddi jumped at the opportunity. Especially after finding out that the movie was being shot in their hometown of Wilmington, North Carolina.

"I don't want the Chainsmokers or Rock Mafia or the Neptunes or whoever else producing this soundtrack. They're not from Wilmington, and as amazing as they are, they can't grasp that feel. I want the movie to be as authentic as possible, and musically speaking, you're the only one who can offer that."

Teddi hadn't needed convincing to work on Chase's film, but what he said meant everything to her. Wilmington was home. The place that made her, and she wanted the soundtrack to be like the love letter to her hometown. After all, the book was based on their lives and she wanted to create what was essentially the soundtrack to their youth.

"This is the first time that I'm making music on such a large scale. Producing for someone other than myself," Teddi explained.

"What about the charity album you put together for 9/11?" Deborah asked.

Teddi thought back to her junior year of high school. She was involved in the Key Club and served as the Executive Director. The exec board had been brainstorming ways to raise money for the families of victims of the September 11th attacks. Teddi had come up with the idea to get some local artist together and record a compilation album, with the proceeds going to the victims' families. It had been a success, and the most successful fundraiser in the school's history.

"But that was a charity album, and it was produced in a basement with janky equipment I got off eBay."

"And yet it was still a masterpiece," Deborah said, clasping her hands together and propping her elbows onto her desk. "And as much as I love Chase and his writing, I'd argue that helping the families of the victims of 9/11 is a much more formidable cause than a Hollywood movie."

Teddi bowed her head and smiled. "I guess you're right, Mom."

"Um, what was that?" Deborah asked, raising her index finger to her ear.

"What?" Teddi asked quizzically.

"Did you just say I was right? Did my child, Teddi Elizabeth Windsor, actually just take my advice?"

Teddi chuckled. "Mom!"

"Well!" Deborah folded her arms across her chest and leaned back into her chair. "I never thought I'd see the day. I'm calling your father!" Deborah picked up her office phone and excitedly began to dial.

"Mom, you are too much," Teddi smiled, rolling her eyes. "And on that note, I'm gonna go upstairs and shower!"

 

Later that night ,Teddi was joined by her high school friends at Switch, the popular eighteen and over nightclub in downtown Wilmington that they used to frequent.  The kids of Beverly Hills 90210 had The Peach Pit, they had Switch. Chase's uncle Craig owned the club and allowed him and his friends to come and go as they please, despite not being of age. The only condition was that they couldn't drink. And they abided by the rule...when Craig was there.

"I can't believe the gang's back together again," Teddi smiled, sipping on her Ginger Ale. She sat at the bar with her six best friends from high school. Somehow Chase had convinced them all to come back home and work on the film. They were each involved in some way or the other.

Bianca Davenport, aka B, had graduated from the Parsons School of Design in New York City, and then interned for Karl Lagerfeld at Chanel in Paris. She went on to launch her successful high-end clothing line Trésor, and her designs had been worn by the likes of Gwyneth Paltrow, Renee Zellweger, Natalie Portman, and Teddi of course, to name a few. Chase had called on Bianca to be the head costume designer on the film. With her pale skin and auburn hair, she'd been one of the most popular girls in school. Captain of the dance team, she won prom queen both junior and senior year.

Holly Jansen, the brainiac of the group, had earned her master's in education from the University of Virginia at Arlington, and moved back home to North Carolina to start her teaching career. She was married to Stephen Sanders, her high school sweetheart, and they had a daughter, Jansen ‘Janney' Sanders- Teddi's Goddaughter. Holly was the official set tutor, making sure that all of the child actors who were enrolled in summer classes completed their assignments on time.  Holly was pretty in an understated way. She had glossy brown-blonde hair, brown doe eyes, and creamy white skin so clear it could be featured in a Neutrogena commercial. Stephen always said that he fell in love with her at first sight.

Stephen Sanders had been one of the most popular guys in school and was the star catcher on their baseball team. His supernatural athletic abilities earned him a full ride to UVA, where Holly followed him to after he proposed to her at their high school graduation. He was currently the MVP for the Durham Bulls. Stephen along with their friend Ace, were co-sports choreographers for the film's baseball scenes. Stephen standing at six feet, with short dark hair, broad shoulders, a chiseled physique, green eyes, and dimples, was your typical high school heartthrob. All the girls wanted him, but he only had eyes for Holly.

Anthony "Ace" Tatum was the wise-cracking prankster of the group. After high school, he went on to play baseball at UNC, where her graduated with a degree in Exercise Science and Kinesiology. He was now the head baseball coach at UNC. Ace was attractive with skin the color of mocha, and jet- black curls that he wore cut short. Back in high school he painstakingly tried to imitate R&B singer Ginuwine's signature hair ‘do. He went through a lot of hair gel.  Teddi and Ace originally connected over being the only Black students in their grade. They often confided in one another, and in senior year created the Black Student Union.

Michael "Meech" McGovern who went on to become a sports analyst on ESPN, was cast in the roll of a sports announcer in the film. In their freshman year, both Teddi and Meech were outcasts. Meech was gangly and awkward with braces, and Teddi the chunky one. They were relentlessly teased and bullied, until one day Chase decided to eat with them at lunch. Soon, Bianca, Holly, Stephen, and Ace followed. When people saw who they were friends with, the bullying was not as persistent, and only happened when the others weren't around. High school was no cake walk, but their friends made it bearable. Meech had long since grown out of his awkwardness and had more women than he had hands. He'd put on weight and went from gangly to buff. His light brown hair was always styled to perfection, his teeth straightened by years of wearing braces, his acne cleared, and he got Lasik, no longer having to wear thick coke-bottle glasses. It was quite amusing to their group that the girls who paid him dust in high school, were now drooling all over him.

"Bottoms up!" Bianca yelled, before downing a shot of Tequila.

"Same ole B," Chase laughed.

"Ugh as if," Bianca scoffed. "Thank God we didn't peak in high school!"

"You can say that again," Teddi chimed in. She would rather be put in a room with all her exes and JC, than to be seventy-five pounds heavier again.

"Don't you want something a little stronger than Ginger Ale, Ted?" Ace asked, pointing toward her drink.

"Yeah, I mean we're finally all together again in the same place again, back on our old stomping grounds, and we can finally legally drink, and you're nursing a Ginger Ale?" Meech asked quizzically.

"I'm here on business guys," Teddi replied. "No drinking for me tonight. Besides, after losing the weight I can't hold my liquor the way I used to."

"Who said you could ever hold your liquor?" Chase snorted.

"Wow, okay you have jokes!"

"Hmm, I distinctly remember you getting black out drunk and singing You Oughta Know directly to Jack Nelson," Holly said.

"Please don't remind me," Teddi groaned.

"Remind you?" Stephen scoffed. "Girl, you don't even remember it!"

"And I'm sure it was cringe worthy enough, so I don't need the visuals, thank you!"

"Are you performing tonight?" Chase asked.

"No," Teddi responded. "I'm just here to check out the band." Fire on High was the hottest band in all of Wilmington, and Teddi couldn't wait to hear them. There was about another half-hour before their set started.

"Oh, she goes on to win a couple of Grammys and now she's too good for us!" Chase joked. Chase and Teddi had always had a playful relationship that bordered on flirting. Ten years later and he still looked just as good as he did in high school, only better. Six-foot-one, blonde hair, green eyes, and a smile to die for. Despite no longer playing baseball, he still had an enviable figure. Like his cousin, Stephen, he was equally a heartthrob. In high school, Teddi had a slight crush on him, but ended falling completely head over heels for him when he beat up Jack Nelson for his cruel homecoming prank. She never pursued anything with him though because she was almost certain he'd never been attracted to her.

Teddi playfully swatted him on his bicep. "It's not that, it just... tonight's not about me."

"Sure, it is," Chase said, slightly nudging her. "It's about all of us. We're the hometown kids who all made something of ourselves. Tonight's a celebration," he declared lifting up his glass. Everyone tapped their glasses together as he made a toast. "To us, because y'know, we started from the bottom, now we here!"

"Oh my God Chase, that was so cheesy," Teddi groaned.

"Hey, don't hate now, ‘cuz this white boy's got swag!"

"Oh god," Teddi said shaking her head.

Holly watched them, laughing. "This is going to be a fun summer!" She exclaimed, taking a swig of her corona. She held her bottle up to make another toast, a proper one. "To the Summer of the Wilmington kids!"

"To us!" The gang cheered.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Later that night, err... early that morning Teddi stumbled into her room. Fire on High was amazing, and after talking to them offstage, they agreed to be on the soundtrack. They exchanged information, and their lawyers would be in touch to negotiate the contract. Teddi felt victorious. She'd never been on the business side of the music industry. She counted scoring Fire on High as a success. After much convincing (and begging) by both her friends and the band, Teddi agreed to perform. It was her first time back on the Switch stage in nearly eight years. She performed her first two singles from her debut album, Stuck, and More to Life, two songs from her Sophomore album titled ‘Expose', Each Other, and Love Story, and two unreleased songs that she recorded before she left LA. From my Heart to Yours and If Tonight is My Last. She wasn't drunk, but she was feeling that euphoric high that only performing could give her. The audience had been so receptive of her. It felt good to be loved and accepted by her hometown.

Teddi flopped down on her bed and took off her shoes. As she got undressed, and changed into her pajamas, she hummed the words to her song.

If tonight is my last, I wanna spend it with you...

Teddi smiled to herself when she thought about the song's muse: JC.

After her breakup with Tyson, she was so empty and broken. Worse than any other time she'd gone through a breakup. Travis had serious issues, and it was so easy to leave him and never look back. Brendon filled a void to help her get over Travis. Wilmer was a short-lived fling, nothing serious, and Brody, although she thought she'd never get over him, was a douchebag, and getting over him was easier than she thought. But Tyson? She'd built her life around him. She was for sure that he was it for her. They weren't two young kids who decided to jump into a relationship. They made the mature adult decision to pursue each other. They tried for a baby. She was so sure they were close to marriage. She was devastated when he broke up with her. And who was there to pick up the pieces? JC.

After the breakup, she showed up at his doorstep in tears, with bags packed in her car. Luckily, Kathryn hadn't been there, and she hadn't lived with him at the point. Without hesitation, JC let Teddi stay at his place until she could find her own. Of course, Kathryn wasn't happy with the situation, but JC put his foot down. He wasn't throwing his best friend out on the street after she'd just been dumped.

Teddi made sure to stay out of JC's way and to give him space, but he made it impossible. Whenever he wasn't working on new music, he would drag her out of the guestroom and force her to get out. Even if it was just downstairs in his media room to watch Julia Roberts movies. He stocked his fridge with an endless supply of Ben & Jerry's Half Baked and Barefoot sweet red. He never forced her to open up to him, but when she was ready, he was all ears. She hadn't told him exactly why she and Tyson had broken up. Teddi's explanation was that they decided they weren't compatible and were wasting their time trying to make it work. It was a truncated version of the truth. She didn't want to say,  "Hey JC, you're the reason why my relationship ended!"

The way JC had taken care of her in her time of need, reignited those old feeling all over again. Feelings she thought were long gone. Tyson was right. She was still in love JC, and she couldn't fight it.

Once she changed into her pajamas, Teddi hopped into bed and cut out the light. Wide awake, she stared up at the ceiling. Restless, she turned from one side to the next sleep not befalling her. Before she knew it an hour had passed, it was 4:00 AM. Teddi rolled over on her side and grabbed her phone from the nightstand. She unhooked it from her charger and entered her pin number into the lock screen. Scrolling through her contacts, she landed on JC's number. She tapped the screen and pressed the call button next to his contact info. The phone rang three times.

"Hello?" JC answered, yawning.

"Jace," Teddi smiled at the sound of his voice.

"Teddi? What's up?" JC whispered into the phone. He turned and looked behind him. Kathryn was lying next to him in bed sound asleep. JC got up, and quietly tipped toed to the next room over, a guest bedroom. Once inside, he shut the door behind him and flicked on the light. He walked over to the bed and sat down.

"Oh my God, were you asleep? Gosh I'm such an idiot, I should hang u-"

"No, no Teddi, don't please," JC pleaded. "I miss you." Teddi had gone from living in his home, to moving to Wilmington for the summer. For months she'd been a constant in his life, and he missed having her there all the time.

Teddi's heart swelled. "I miss you too," she admitted.

JC loved to hear the sound of her voice in his ear. It always put him at ease. "So, how's everything going with the movie?"

"So far so good, I got this really amazing local band to agree to record a song for the soundtrack!"

"That's awesome, Ted." JC smiled. He could picture her smiling back through the phone. The thought of her smile making the hair on his arm stand. "But how are you doing?"

There was a long pause.

"Honestly, I'm the best I've been in a long time. I think being back in Wilmington is just what I needed. Being with my family, and all my high school friends. I hadn't realized how much I missed home. I feel like I'm finally getting back to myself."

"I'm glad to hear it," JC responded. He wanted nothing more than for Teddi be happy. If she was okay, then he was okay. Suddenly, a though hit him like a ton of bricks; he wished it were Teddi in his bed right now, not Kathryn.

"Thanks," Teddi said, slightly yawning.

"Just don't get too attached," JC said. He knew she was still house hunting, and he was worried that the all the nostalgia of being back home would pull her back there, and away from him.

"I love Wilmington Jace, but I did leave for a reason," Teddi reminded him. "Besides, home is where the heart is."

Silence.

Had she really just said that out loud? Fuck!

"Oh yeah, well where's your heart?" JC asked nervously. He anxiously awaited an answer.

Teddi sighed before answering. "My heart is with you Jace. It always has been, and always will be."

JC sighed in relief, his heart soaring at her words. "Good. Hurry up and get your ass back home!"

 

Girl you make it hard to be faithful, with the lips of an angel.

 

 

 

 

Valentine's Day 2014

"Okay, alterations have been made to the dress, and your shoes will be ready for pickup by Monday." There three weeks left until Autumn's wedding and Teddi, being a dutiful bridesmaid had spent the last month making sure that every detail had been attended to.

"Did I ever tell you how much of a Godsend you are?" Autumn asked.

"Well, it's not like you're a crazy bridezilla or anything," Teddi replied. She plopped down on the couch next to Autumn and wrapped her arms around her. "I love you and I'm so happy for you."

"I love you more," Autumn said. "You're the best!"

"Have you thought about your Bachelorette Party yet?" Teddi asked.

"Honestly, no. Maybe Vegas? But that's so cliché. How about a girl's trip to Carmel?"

"That actually sounds nice," Teddi said, tapping her ink pen against her yellow legal notepad. She scribbled down the idea. "We could get one of those shuttles to drive us there."

"You mean, like a party bus?"

"Yes, exactly!"

"How does shopping, wine tasting, and a spa day sound?" Autumn asked

"Like Heaven!" Teddi groaned, tossing her head back.

"Then it's settled, we'll make a weekend out of it," Autumn decided.

"Perfect, I call around for the best spas and hotels," Teddi said.

"Why don't you leave it to me? You've already done more than enough."

"Tum, it's not a problem. Really," Teddi assured her.

"Ted, you're sitting in my home on Valentine's Day helping me plan my wedding. Don't you have plans?" Autumn asked.

"No," Teddi said, barely audible.

"Teddi," Autumn said sadly. "When's the last time, you went on a date?"

Teddi closed her eyes, and took a deep breath trying not to get frustrated with her friend. Why did Autumn do this? Why did she always have to turn everything back on her? She knew that Autumn cared, but her love life wasn't always up for discussion.

"Honestly, I haven't been on a date since Tyson," Teddi admitted.

"It's been what? A year and a half? My god you're not a widow!"

"Autumn!"

"I know, I know I'm being overbearing, I just worry about you," Autumn confessed.

"What? Worried about me why?" Teddi asked.

"I just don't want you to end up alone," Autumn replied. "You're so amazing, and have so much love to give, and it breaks my heart that you keep ending up alone."

"Wow," Teddi sighed. She tilted her head back and wiped a lone tear away. Is this what her friends thought of her? They pitied her. A pit formed in her stomach. Having people feel sorry for you was the worst feeling ever. "Autumn, I'm fine."

"Are you really, though?"

"Yes, I promise. I've made the mistake of jumping into relationships for all the wrong reasons. I didn't want to be lonely, so I had to have someone. Anyone. And I lost myself in every single relationship. I used every guy to run from my problems, and now that I'm single, I can't run from my problems anymore. I'm learning what it's like to just be me, and what it means to be defined by who I am, and not who I'm with. Do I get lonely sometimes? Sure! But that's why I moved in a block away from you and Matt!"

Autumn gave a faint laugh. "I understand. I just know how amazing it feels when you find your person, and I want you to have that so bad, and if you and JC could jus-"

"Autumn," Teddi warned.

"Could just see that you're perfect for each other," she continued, "then you both wouldn't have to keep going through these pointless, loveless relationships."

Teddi glared at her.

"You know what I'm saying is true."

"I don't wanna talk about this," Teddi pouted.

"You guys came so close," Autumn lamented.

"I said I don't want to talk about it," Teddi repeated.

"You and JC are both my best friends. I love you guys. It hurts me to see the two people I love most not happy. Especially when what would make them happy would be to just bite the bullet and get together!"

"Not gonna happen," Teddi muttered.

"Ugh!  You two are so frustrating. He loves you; you know that! It's been out there for how long now? You both know that you have feeling for each other, and yet you continue this dance. How have you not gone crazy already? What the hell happened?"

"The hell if I know," Teddi replied, exasperated.

"I'm sorry I bought it up," Autumn apologized.

"I'm sorry you did too," Teddi sighed. Autumn hugged her. "I should get going." Teddi laid the pen and notepad on Autumn's coffee table. "I wrote down the extension of the seamstress working on your dress. She doesn't get into the office until 11:00 Monday morning." Teddi got up and headed for the door.

"Thanks again for everything," Autumn said sadly, as she walked Teddi to the door. She hugged her once again.

"You don't have to thank me," Teddi replied. "You know if I do end up old and alone you and Matt could always adopt me!"

*~*~*~*~*

"Yo ‘C, what's up?" Justin asked.

"Hey J," JC replied. He was pleasantly surprised to receive a call form Justin that morning. He had the day off and was channel surfing on his couch.

"I'm in town for the next week, I thought we could kick it."

"I'm down," JC replied.

"Cool, whatcha got going on tonight?" Justin asked. "Shit it's Valentine's Day, that was a stupid question."

"Actually, I don't have plans," JC said. 

"What?! Get outta here, Mack Daddy ‘C doesn't have date for Valentine's Day?!"

JC cringed at the cheesy nickname. Okay, maybe he was a serial monogamous, but Justin was making him out to be a whore. "No, I don't have a date." He and Kathryn had broken up six months ago, and since then, he hadn't even thought about dating anyone new.

"What about Teddi?" Justin asked.

"What about her?"

"What do you mean, what about her?" Justin scoffed. "I thought you two would be married with a couple of kids by now."

JC swallowed hard at Justin's comment.

"Everyone can see how crazy you are for her, why haven't you made your move?" Justin asked.

"Truth be told, I had my chance and fucked it up," JC admitted.

"Word?"

"Yeah, she told me she loved me, and I turned her down," JC replied, and continued to explain what happened the night of Jimmy Iovine's party.

"Damn," Justin sighed. "That's fucked up."

"Gee thanks," JC huffed.

"Sorry. But why didn't you tell her you loved her too?"

"You know that Tyson guy she was dating?"

"You mean that guy from that band?"

"Yeah, him. He was there at the party that night. They dated way back and when she ran into him, she looked at him the way she used to when she first fell in love with him. He looked at her the exact same way, and I couldn't let myself get in the way of that. I didn't want to pursue anything with her if there was someone else in her heart. I wanted to be all in, and she just didn't seem ready. My suspicions were confirmed when they got back together a few weeks later."

"Wow, that's tough," Justin stated. "But she's not with him now, right?"

"No," JC replied.

"Well, then obviously it wasn't meant to be, so what's stopping you now?"

Silence.

"Exactly, nothing," Justin replied.

"Who knows if she even feels the same all these years later?" JC asked.

"You'll never know unless you put yourself On the Line," Justin smirked.

"Oh my God that was so cheesy," JC chuckled.

"It did make you laugh. But seriously just take a leap of faith. I'm willing to bet that she's waiting on you. I mean, you did turn her down the first time. Maybe she's too scared to bring it back up again," Justin advised.

"You know, you might be right," JC said.

"Pfft, I know I'm right," Justin snorted. "You know, to write all these Grammy winning heart wrenching ballads, you sure are kind of dumb when it comes to love."

"Um.... Did you call me because you wanted to hang out, or rag on me about my love life?"

"Right, right. I was going see if you wanted to come out to my show tonight and link up afterwards, but I have a better idea," Justin proposed.

"Okay..."

"Why don't you bring Teddi along, provided she doesn't have any plans, and you two can have a special night out," Justin suggested.

JC contemplated. He and Teddi had gone to plenty of concerts before. In fact, it was their thing. But on Valentine's Day? Would she read too much into it?

"Ugh, you're doing it," Justin groaned.

"Doing what?" JC asked.

"That JC thinking thing you do. I can see it now; your eyebrows are all bunched up and your mouth all twisted."

JC immediately relaxed his face.

"See that's your damn problem, you think too much. You're too fuckin' smart for your own good. Just ask her Jace," Justin demanded.

"Fine, I will," JC conceded.

"Great, see you tonight."

*~*~**~*~*~*

Knocked unconscious walking underwater,

‘Cause I'm thinking of you,

Don't you know that love's intoxicating,

And I need the abuse

Fresh out of the shower, Teddi sang along to her ringtone, as she shuffled across the room to grab her phone. She would quite literally pass away if JC ever found out that her personal ringtone for him was his song Lose Myself. It was such a beautiful song and she felt it was downright criminal that he stopped making music for himself. She tapped the green answer button and answered her phone.

"Hey Jace,"

"What are you doing tonight?" JC asked.

"Oh, you know, I've got a hot date with Ben & Jerry. They're taking me to my couch and we're having a Paul Walker marathon. Oh, and Barefoot will make an appearance, so I guess it's threesome. But wait, Ben & Jerry are two guys, Jace what do you call sex with four people? God I'm a whore!"

JC let out his signature hearty laugh. "Wow, that... that was something. I've got something better in mind than a junk food orgy!"

"Like what?" Teddi asked curiously.

"Justin's in town. He invited me to his show, wanna come?"

"Me?" Teddi asked.

"Unless I know another Teddi?"

"Hell yeah, I wanna go!"

"Great, be ready in an hour," JC said.

"Oh, so now you're telling me when to be ready?" Teddi laughed.

"Just be ready," JC retorted.

"Yes, sir Daddy ‘C!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"How y'all feeling tonight Los Angeles?" Justin called to the audience, and they erupted in a roar of excited cheers.

The Palladium was sold out, and JC and Teddi had the best seat in the house, in the roped off VIP section, seated at a table closest to the stage. Justin had made sure that they were served with the most expensive bottle of champagne and the best of the best bourgeois food on the menu. "I dunno, just give ‘em whatever's the most expensive thing, and I'll comp it," Justin instructed the waitstaff.

To say that JC and Teddi were having a blast was an understatement. JC loved watching Teddi scream and really let loose. It had been a long time since he'd seen that side of her. He got a kick out of the way she would scream every time Justin did a certain hip thrust.

"I thought I was your favorite Nsync-er," JC joked, yelling over the music.

"Being your best friend takes the novelty out of things," Teddi teased. It was half true. Over the years she saw the good, the bad and the downright ugly when it came to JC Chasez. The novelty of Oh my God he's sooo hot! Had worn off over a decade ago. But getting to him, really getting to know him was better than any superficial celebrity crush. She was in love with Joshua Scott, the man beyond the persona.

"You still rockin' wit me LA?" Justin asked the audience. The arena erupted into cheers. "Alright that's what I like to hear. Now I wanna slow it down a bit." A stagehand gave Justin his guitar, which elicited more high-pitched screams from drunk women. "We usually don't do this, but by it being Valentine's Day we decided to rework the setlist a little," Justin smiled, and put his guitar on, pulling the strap over his shoulder, and allowing the guitar to rest against his torso. "Love is a really beautiful thing. I was lucky enough to find it with my beautiful wife Jessica." More cheers, and Justin laughed shyly. "These next two songs I wrote about the beauty of finding that special person and spending the rest of your life with them. Now, I've invited two very special friends of mine, and they're in the audience tonight. Don't worry, I won't call you out, but you know who you are. Anyway, I'm dedicating these songs to you two. Hopefully y'all can stop playing games and realize you're perfect for each other."

JC's blood ran cold.

Teddi's heart dropped to her stomach.

Leave it to Justin Timberlake to call them out on their bullshit.

Said all I want from you

Is to see you tomorrow

And every tomorrow

Maybe you'll let me borrow, your heart

And is it too much to ask for every Sunday?

An while we're at it throw in every other day to start

I know people make promises all the time

Then they turn right around and break them

When someone cuts your heart open with a knife and you're bleeding

But I could be that guy to heal it over time

And I won't stop until you believe it

'Cause baby you're worth it

 

As Justin sang, JC watched Teddi trying his best to read her face in the darkness. She didn't look at him.

So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me

Cause you might fuck around and find your dreams come true with me

Spend all your time and your money just to find out that my love was free

So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me, me

It's not a bad thing to fall in love with me, me

Teddi's heartbeat matched the intensity of the pulsating drum. Had Justin called them out? Oh my God! She wondered what was going through JC's mind. She could not go through this with him again. They were finally in a stable place in their friendship, she wouldn't allow herself to get her hopes up again just to have them crushed.

No I won't fill your mind with broken promises

And wasted time

And if you fall

You'll always land right in these arms

These arms of mine

From Justin's place on the stage, he looked in the area where Justin and Teddi were sitting. With the bright stage lights, he could barely make them out, but he knew right where they were. He stared in their direction and sang the last chorus directly to Teddi.

Don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me

Cause you might fuck around and find your dreams come true with me

Spend all your time and your money just to find out that my love was free

So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me, me

It's not a bad thing to fall in love with me, me

Not such a bad thing to fall in love with me

 

Teddi sucked in a breath when Justin sang in her direction. The spotlight flashed on her, and people started to recognize both her and JC. Fuck. JC and Justin in the same place at the same time was bound to cause a frenzy. They'd never make it out alive. Would people put two and two together about she and JC?

As the song came to an end the audience continued to cheer, and Justin gave a self-satisfied smile. He was always the young, cocky one and now he was putting his arrogance to good use. In the last ten years, every time Justin saw JC, he was with Teddi. They we're practically attached at the hip. The whole world could see they were perfect for each other, so why couldn't they? Well, damnit, they see it tonight if it was the last thing he did! He took his guitar off, and handed off to the stagehand, and stepped back up to the mic. "Alright, now this next song is especially close to my heart, and I hope it's message reaches my friends tonight."

The lights dimmed in the arena once again, allowing for an illuminating white light to shine down solely on Justin. The electric guitar led the intro in E flat, followed by the beatboxing sound and drum beat. 

 

Aren't you something to admire, ‘cause your shine is somethin'

Like mirror, and I can't help but notice you reflect in the heart of mine,

If you ever feel alone and the glare makes me hard to find, just know

That I'm always parallel on the other side,

 

'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul

I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go

Just put your hand on the glass

I'm here tryin' to pull you through

You just gotta be strong

 

'Cause I don't wanna lose you now

I'm lookin' right at the other half of me

The vacancy that sat in my heart

Is a space that now you hold

Show me how to fight for now

And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy

Comin' back here to you once I figured it out

You were right here all along

 

Teddi stared up at Justin completely frozen, swept up by his words. She'd heard Mirrors, who hadn't? But she'd never put the song in the context of she and JC. In the past eleven years he'd been the one consistent thing in her life. Her constant, always there, never changing. The way they worked together, their ideas coming together so effortlessly, their thoughts often fusing together. How they could be in at a party or downtown in a crowd or curled up on a couch. No matter where they were, they were happy as long as they were together. Tyson had been right when he said that JC knew things about her no one else did. With anyone else, she'd feel ashamed to show that part of herself. With JC? It was so natural. She didn't mind being vulnerable around him. He always made her feel safe, protected, and loved. How many times had he rescued her from spiraling? She'd been a naïve eighteen-year-old when they'd first met, not knowing what she wanted or who she was. JC was there to witness each hectic phase of her early adult years, and never judged her for any of it. He just loved and accepted her. And now, she was almost twenty-nine. She had grown and learned so much about herself, and most of that growth had come from knowing JC. He'd taught her so much about music, about life, about herself.

 

Ooh, I can't ever change without you

You reflect me, I love that about you

And if I could, I would look at us all the time

JC looked across the table and was finally able to make eye contact with Teddi. Her face was tear stained. A multitude of emotions flashing across her face at once. Fear, hurt, anger, confusion, love. There's so much he wanted to tell her. He wanted nothing more than to wrap her up in his arms. He reached across the table and took her hand into his, she jumped slightly, startled. She opened up her palm and let him interlace his fingers with hers. "Do you want get out of here?" He asked shouting above the music.

Teddi nodded yes in response.

"Let's go," JC said. He stood up from the table and helped Teddi up from her chair. He held her hand and together, they walked through the crowd and out of the arena.

Yesterday is history

Tomorrow's a mystery

I can see you lookin' back at me

Keep your eyes on me

Baby, keep your eyes on me

As Justin sang the bridge, he kept his eyes in JC and Teddi's area. With the lights obscuring his vision, his sight was a little blurry, but if he weren't mistaken, he could have sworn he saw JC take Teddi by the hand and lead her out. He smiled to audience, although they didn't know what he was smiling about. He had gotten through to them; he just knew it. It might've been a drastic stunt, but Teddi and JC were both painfully obstinate and often didn't pick up on subtleties. So, if this what had to be done for them to see the light, then so be it, his work was done. The aftermath may be a little awkward and messy, but he knew they'd work it out. He just hoped they let him sing at their wedding!

 

 

March 01, 2014

It was the week of Autumn and Matt's wedding and their entire friend group had been running around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to make their special day as smooth as possible. Autumn's and Matt's families were in town which had been a big help. Teddi was so grateful for April, Autumn's sister being the maid of honor, which meant she got to take a step back. Hallelujah! Now, all she had to do was focus on her song.

Autumn had requested that both she and JC sing at their wedding, individually and as a duet. At first, she was nervous to sing at a wedding with JC. A wedding, knowing how she felt about him. Weddings were the place when all the singles reevaluated their lives and the loves in them. She didn't know if she'd be able to handle it. But after Valentine's Day she was hit with a rush of inspiration. That night after the Justin's show was the best night of her life. JC had taken her back to his place and they made love. It was the most intimate, romantic, passionate time of her life. She hadn't wanted it to end. She never thought that she and JC would ever do such a thing. It was far beyond what she'd ever dreamed up. Waking up in his arms the next morning felt so right; she was exactly where she was supposed to be. She hadn't wanted to leave, and he asked her to stay. She spent the entire day his T-shirts, which were oversized on her small frame. They showered together and spent the entire day making love. Only stopping eat and use the bathroom. They couldn't keep their hands off of each other. They'd waited so long for this, and it felt so right.

JC and Teddi decided to take things slow. They hadn't put a label on it yet. They were too afraid to make a mistake, so they decided to move their relationship at a snail's pace. They wouldn't let anyone know they were together until they made it official. If they were going to do this, then they were doing this on their own terms. So, what if their nosy ass friends had a problem with it?

Sitting in her basement studio, Teddi sat at in a chair with her acoustic guitar in her lap. She was rehearsing the song she'd written for Autumn and Matt's reception. She smiled as she read over the lyrics. JC hadn't heard the song yet, and she hadn't heard what he had written either. They only thing they'd worked on together was the duet they'd written together.

"C'mon aren't you gonna show me what you're working on?" JC had pressed her for information about her song.

"Nope," Teddi replied smugly.

"Okay fine, then you won't get to hear what I wrote until the night of the reception."

"Okay, deal?"

"Deal."

She was so excited to present the song. Initially when Autumn asked her to write a song for the wedding, she had a severe case of writer's block. After Tyson, she hadn't as so much looked at another man. Her love life rivaled the Sahara. But that night with JC after Justin's concert, a fire had been lit within her, and the lyrics just came pouring out. For the first time in a long time, she allowed her mind to wander with endless possibilities of she and JC and where they could go. She allowed all of her wildest dreams to run free, and it resulted in a perfectly composed ballad. Teddi had a deep feeling that it would reach more than Autumn and Matt.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

On the other side of town, JC was at Don Giovanni's an upscale menswear store picking up his suit and shoes for the wedding. After spending Valentine's Day and the following day with Teddi, he was feeling optimistic about the events happening over the next few days. Sometimes, he hated Justin's stunts and affinity for the dramatics, but this time he owed him, and he owed him big.

"Will this be all sir?" The sales associate, a young brunette asked.

"Yes, that'll be all sweetheart," JC replied, and the young woman instantly blushed.

JC followed the sales associate to the cash register. As he stood in front of the counter, he listened to the music over the sound system. The store had been playing instrumental Bossa Nova style music, when suddenly a familiar song started to play; You Sang to Me, by Marc Anthony. Teddi's favorite song. JC smiled to himself. It's like everywhere he went there was always a piece of her with him. As the young woman rang up his order, and processed his credit card, for the first time he really took time to listen to the lyrics.

All the while you were in front of me, I never realized

I just can't believe I didn't see it in your eyes

I didn't see it (see it)

I can't believe it (believe it)

Oh, but I feel it (feel it)

When you sing to me

The words pierced him like a shot to the heart as he came to a startling realization; It was Teddi, and it had been Teddi all along. He felt like such an idiot that it took him so long to realize it. He felt foolish to ever question her feelings for him, his feelings for her. Where would they be by now if hadn't turned her down all those years ago? There was a reason why it hadn't worked out with Kathryn or Rachel or Eva, and why for Teddi it hadn't worked out with Tyson, Travis, Brendon, or any of the others. JC and Teddi belonged together. She was the one.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

4 Days Later

"Okay, I know I can be an asshole sometimes, but I promise to keep it sweet!" The audience erupted in laughter. The wedding had gone off without a hitch, and now Autumn's sister, and maid-of-honor, April was giving her speech at the reception.

The outdoor reception was beautifully designed. The Fig House in Hollywood had been transformed into a lover's paradise. Strings of white lights hung from the branches of the weeping oak trees, each table had a beautiful floral arrangement of carnations and peonies in the center, and each tablecloth was a beautiful satin ivory, accented in lavender- Autumn's bridal party color of choice. No detail was spared, and there was even a step-and-repeat at the entrance where guests could take red carpet-like photos.

"Autumn, you've been in my life ever since I could remember. I didn't have a choice."

Everyone laughed.

"With you being only eighteen months younger, you were practically my shadow, so I had to get used to you. But once I did, we became the very best of friends. We shared everything together, secrets, clothes, boys. I have some of the best memories I have are with you. We've been through so many ups and downs over the years and I know that I would not have made it through some of my most trying times without you by my side." April started to tear up. She turned her head away from the microphone stand and quickly wiped her tears, before speaking again.

"When Matt entered the picture, there was a little friction between us in the beginning. I cannot lie and say that I wasn't jealous. You were only twenty-three, and every other guy had some and gone but this guy-" April looked at Matt pointedly and grinned. "This guy stuck around. I was determined not to like him, but Matt has a way of getting under your skin in the best way possible. His laughter is infectious, and his personality is incredible. I don't think I've ever met a more positive person in my life. It's incredibly difficult to be sad or angry when you are around Matt. Matt, when I saw how much you cared for and loved my sister, my mind was made up. You were meant for her, and you were meant to be a part of our family. I am so happy to call you my brother, and I wish you both many, many years of happiness, and lots of babies! God bless!"

April received a round of  applause and there was not a dry eye in the house. JC looked across his table to Teddi, was wiping away tear. He caught her eye, and she mothed shut up, knowing he was silently mocking her. He smiled back. Unbeknownst to her, he was not mocking. He was admiring her beauty. She looked radiant in her satin off the shoulder lavender bridesmaid's dress, her hair pushed out of her face by a flower crown made of white lilies and her long hair falling around her shoulders in spirals. He wished he could get away with taking a picture of the sight before him.

April stepped offstage and walked over to the main table to hug Autumn, who was crying, as well as Matt. Sam, a family friend of Matt's, who was chosen to emcee the reception, stepped up to the mic. "Now that was beautiful. Everyone give April another round of applause!" The audience clapped one again.

After April's speech, Matt's brother, made his Best Man speech followed by Autumn's and Matt's parents. Soon, it was time for the first dance. You and Me by Lifehouse. JC and Teddi looked across the table at each other. Teddi looked back to Autumn and Matt in the center of the dance floor. Love radiated off of them, it was so infectious. They looked so at peace. The kind of peace that you only found when you knew you were with your soulmate. That indescribable feeling that Teddi felt every time she looked into JC's eyes.

The night went on, and the drinks continued to flow. Everyone was basking in the flow of Autumn and Matt's love. JC danced with his ‘date' Francesca, and Teddi danced with hers, Danny. Francesca was and old friend of JC's from his hometown of Bowie, Maryland. Danny was Teddi's gay best friend. With JC being a groomsman and Teddi being a bridesmaid, there was already a certain level of attention on them and the ‘will they or won't they' question. So, they decided to play it lowkey by bringing ‘dates'. When they thought no one was watching, they'd sneak glances and winks at each other, assuming no one would notice. But Autumn noticed, and she couldn't have been happier. She first noticed at the rehearsal dinner. She wanted to be the ‘I told you so' friend but decided to keep her mouth shut until after the wedding. She'd just married her soulmate and took vows to spend a lifetime with him, and now her two best friends were finding out for themselves how incredible that feeling was. The night couldn't have been more perfect.

It was now time for JC and Teddi to sing the songs they'd written for Autumn and Matt. They had wanted to be surprised when hearing the songs, so JC and Teddi rehearsed with the  band in the absence of Matt and Autumn. To compound that, JC and Teddi wanted to surprise each other with their songs, so aside from the duet, they both practiced their individual songs with the band separately.

Sam introduced Teddi first. She walked onto the stage, and in front of the microphone. "Good evening, how's everyone doing tonight?" The crowd clapped lightly. "What an honor it is to be here and to witness two amazing people make a lifetime commitment to each other. I've known Matt and Autumn for a very long time, and to have them in my life has been such a blessing. I'm so humbled and honored to be a part of their story. I wrote this song to honor the love they share. I love you Matt and Autumn, and I hope you like the song!"

Autumn threw Teddi a kiss from the middle of the dance floor, and wrapped her arms around Matt.

The electric guitar started the song, followed by the slow tempo drum beat and acoustic guitar simultaneously. The band played a few bars of a soulful introduction, and Teddi began to sing, her sultry voice perfectly complimenting the soulful sound.

Hey love when I look into your eyes

I get butterflies

Almost every time

(There will always be those butterflies)

Hey love, every time we meet

Boy I get so weak

I can't even speak

Oh no

I wish you could be here all the time

Oh, 'cause baby you belong at my side

Hey, (hey) what more can I say

I'm always thinkin' of you

You make it so easy to love you (you)

Baby baby babe (babe)

It's never too hard to

Revolve my world around you (you)

Hey, (you) you make it so easy to love you

 

Teddi looked out into the crowd past Autumn and Matt, who were completely entranced in their own forcefield of love and found JC. He was slow dancing with Francesca, but his eyes had been fixed on Teddi the entire time. When Autumn asked Teddi to write a song for the wedding, Teddi sat down with the express intent of writing for Matt and Autumn, but when she thought of love and wedding vows and eternity and soul mates, the only person she could picture was JC.

 

Every night we spend

I don't want it to end

Let it start over again

Say, love

With you I feel at ease

Things that seemed important don't seem that important

Don't seem that important

'Least that way to me

Boy you know I hate when you leave

Oh won't you please just stay here with me

Hey, what more can I say

I'm always thinkin' of you

You make it so easy to love you

Baby baby babe

It's never too hard to

Revolve my world around you

Hey, you make it so easy to love you

When Teddi finished the song, the crowd cheered. She watched as Autumn wiped away a tear and Matt waved his arms at her in a bowing gesture. Teddi smiled grateful that they loved the song. "Thank you all so much! Autumn, Matt, I love you guys. Always and forever!" Teddi exited the stage and walked onto the dance floor. She was embraced in a hug by both Matt and Autumn, who each kissed her on either cheek. "Aww, Mom and Dad!" She joked.

"Wow, that was beautiful, thank you Teddi!" Sam said into the microphone. "That's surely a tough act to follow, but I have a sneaking suspicion that the next singer is up for the job. Everyone put your hands together for the, the only, JC Chasez!"

The crowd erupted in loud roars and cheers. Especially, the drunk women, who screamed at an ear-piercing decibel as if no time had passed since the *Nsync days. "Don't worry, he's all yours," Autumn whispered into Teddi's ear. She just couldn't resist.

Teddi turned to look at Autumn, her eyes wide.

"I already know," Autumn smiled.

"How?"

"Shhhh, JC's about to sing!" Autumn completely dismissed Teddi's question and redirected her focus back to the stage.

"Autumn, we've been best friends for over fifteen years now. We've had so many incredible ups and downs together. Laughter, adventures, reality checks, and late-night cry sessions. You've been there through it all. What an honor it is to call you my best friend. Matt, when you started dating Autumn, and it became clear that you were the one, you became my friend as well, and now I'm proud to consider you one of my very best friends. I couldn't think of a more perfect couple and I'm so glad to be able to witness your unconditional love for each other. I wrote this one for you guys!"

"May I have this dance?" Teddi turned around and found Danny with his hand extended, she took it and he spun her around playfully. "We'll just sway back and forth while JC serenade's you- I mean Autumn and Matt, yeah we'll go with that," he winked.

You say you'll be down in five

The smell of your perfume

Is floatin' down the stairs

You're fixin' up your hair like you do

I know that I'll be a mess

The second that I see you

You won't be surprised

It happens every time, It's nothin' new

When JC started to write the song, he thought about all the nights they'd gone out together: to clubs, award shows and industry events. How he'd wait for her on her couch while she primped and pampered herself to perfection. How when she walked down the stairs, finally ready, she'd always take his breath away/

It's always on a night like tonight

I thank God you can read my mind

'Cause when you look at me with those eyes

I'm speechless

Starin' at you, standin' there, in that dress

What it's doin' to me, ain't a secret

'Cause watchin' you is all that I can do

And I'm speechless

You already know that you're my weakness

After all this time I'm just as nervous

Every time you walk into the room

I'm speechless

He looked out into the crowd and locked eyes with Teddi. Danny's back was to the stage, so that Teddi could face JC.

Nearby, Autumn and Matt danced to the music. Autumn watched as JC serenaded Teddi with his heartfelt words. She knew that JC had written this song for her wedding, and it was one of the most beautiful songs she'd ever heard. She couldn't have been more grateful for him and for Teddi and their artistic abilities. But she wasn't stupid. She knew that only Teddi and JC's love for each other could inspire such heartfelt and sentimental lyrics. JC was clearly singing to Teddi and she didn't mind it one bit. She'd found her love, now it was time for her best friends to find each other.

It started when you said hello

Just did something to me

And I've been in a daze

Ever since the day that we met

You take the breath out of my lungs

Can't even fight it

And all of the words out of my mouth without even tryin'

And I'm speechless

Starin' at you, standin' there, in that dress

What it's doin' to me, ain't a secret

'Cause watchin' you is all that I can do

And I'm speechless

You already know that you're my weakness

After all this time I'm just as nervous

Every time you walk into the room

I'm speechless

Yeah, baby

It's always on a night like tonight

I thank God you can read my mind

'Cause when you look at me with those eyes

 

Teddi could read his mind loud and clear, and she was right there with him.

I'm speechless

You're standin' there in that dress

Girl, it ain't a secret

'Cause watchin' you is all that I can do

Ooh ooh, I'm speechless

You already know that you're my weakness

After all this time I'm just as nervous

Every time you walk into the room

I'm speechless

Oh, you know it baby

 

Teddi buried her face into Danny's shoulder and cried uncontrollably.

"Oh, Baby Doll, that man loves you so much," Danny soothed her and rubbed her shoulder.

"I have to get it together," Teddi said, wiping her tears and fanning her face. "We have a song to sing together. Lord Jesus, how am I gonna make it through?!"

"Baby girl, you got this," Danny assured her. "Now get up there and sing to your man!" Danny kissed both of her cheeks and gave her pat on the butt as she made her way to the stage.

"And now, Teddi and I would like to sing a song that we wrote together," JC said into the microphone. He extended his hand as Teddi walked toward him, and she clasped her hand with his.

"That was incredible," Teddi whispered into his ear, and it sent a chill down his spine. She was handed an extra microphone from one of the backup singers, and with a nod from JC, the band started to play. With their fingers interlaced, JC looked directly into Teddi's eyes and began to sing.

I found a love for me

Darling, just dive right in and follow my lead

Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet

Oh, I never knew you were the someone waiting for me

 

'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love

Not knowing what it was

I will not give you up this time

But darling, just kiss me slow

Your heart is all I own

And in your eyes you're holding mine

Teddi held their gaze the entire time. Feeling every word JC sang to her. As far as she concerned, there was no one else there but them.

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark

With you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass

Listening to our favourite song

When you said you looked a mess

I whispered underneath my breath

But you heard it,

Darling, you look perfect tonight

Teddi lifted her microphone and began to sing her verse.

Well, I found a man stronger than anyone I know

He shares my dreams, I hope that someday we'll share a home

I found a love to carry more than just my secrets

To carry love, to carry children of our own

We are still kids, but we're so in love

Fightin' against all odds

I know we'll be alright this time

Darling, just hold my hand

Be your girl, you'll be my man

And I see my future in your eyes

JC and Teddi sang the chorus together.

Well, baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass while listening to our favorite song

When I saw you in that dress looking so beautiful

I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight

The instrumental played, and the acoustic guitar joined in. JC lifted Teddi's empty hand up to his lips and gave it a kiss. It was all she could do to not melt right there in the stage. She began to cry, a well of emotions overflowing. She pulled it together just in time for the ending.

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass, while listenin' to our favorite song

I have faith in what I see

Now I know I have met an angel in person

And she looks perfect, and he looks perfect

No, I don't deserve this

You look perfect tonight

The music stopped. The crowd roared. JC and Teddi took a bow and exited the stage.

"Are you okay?" JC turned and asked her. He brought his hands up to her face, to wipe her tears away. She took his hands in hers.

"Yeah," Teddi smiled, more tears falling. "I need a minute okay?" She let go of his hands and walked off to a nearby bathroom on the facilities.

Once in the bathroom, Teddi shut herself in a stall and collapsed to the floor in a heap of tears. She wasn't sad. She was overwhelmed with emotion. Emotions of love. True, actual love. JC didn't need to say it; she could just feel it. She could feel it in the way he made love to her, the way he stared at her with a gaze so intense it almost unnerved her. The way he held her hand, the way he kissed her. All of the years of picking her back up again. It was him, and it always would be. Years and years of everything she felt for him was coming to the surface and exploding all at once. For the first time in twenty-nine years, she finally knew what true love felt like.

JC waited nervously for Teddi, hoping that he hadn't scared her away. His worst fear was that she'd run from him. He was finally in a place of accepting that she was the one for him, and he'd been terrified that right as he decided to go for it, something would prevent that from happening. He was snapped from his thoughts when he saw Teddi walking back onto the dancefloor. She'd washed all the makeup from her face, which to him, made her all the more beautiful.

"Sorry," Teddi apologized. "It's just- I- weddings..."

"Don't be sorry." JC replied, he brought a hand to her cheek and gently caressed it.

The band stopped playing and the DJ took over. JC and Teddi laughed when they heard the electric guitars.

"That damn Justin," JC laughed.

"He always has a way of interfering, doesn't he?" Teddi asked.

JC leaned into Teddi, and their foreheads touched. "May I have this dance?" Teddi smiled and nodded, and JC led her to the dancefloor. He wrapped his arms around her waist and clasped his hands beneath her lower back. Teddi placed her arms around his shoulders, and they danced to the sound of Justin's voice.

 

'Cause I don't wanna lose you now

I'm lookin' right at the other half of me

The vacancy that sat in my heart

Is a space that now you hold

Show me how to fight for now

And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy

Comin' back here to you once I figured it out

You were right here all along

 

"What are you thinking?" Teddi asked, staring into JC's eyes.

JC searched her eyes, before finally answering. "I'm thinking about how stupid I was on that night four years ago, to lie to you and tell you I never loved you. How foolish I was to think you were only a friend. I've waisted so much time, baby. I love you Teddi, I always have, and I always will. You're it for me. Whatever this is, now? I want to put a label on it. I want all the strings; I want to be tied to you and only you. You own me Teddi and I'm not afraid to say it. Will you be mine Teddi, please?"

Teddi's breath caught in her throat. She'd been longing to hear those words for over a decade. She never thought she'd ever hear JC say what he just said to her. It almost didn't seem real.

"Teddi?" JC asked anxiously, worry clouding his eyes.

"Yes JC, yes!" Teddi cried. She buried her face into his chest, wetting up his suit. "Yes, yes, yes, yes! I love you so much!"

"Baby look at me," JC whispered. His index finger lifted her chin so that she was looking up at him. He wanted her to see him when he said these words. "I love you more than anyone else on this earth, and I promise you that you'll never have to hurt again." JC leaned down to kiss her, and they held each other in an embrace. He had the love of his life in his arms, and now that he had her he was never letting go. Everything was perfect.

 

 

 

Summer 2015

"Hey, I'm heading out now," Teddi said into her cell phone.

"Already? I thought you had an interview," Autumn replied.

"It got pushed back to next week," Teddi explained. She cradled her phone between her ear and shoulder as she wheeled her suitcase out of her front door. She tossed her keys to her sister Tori who was still in the foyer. " What's wrong?" Tori caught the keys, picked up her duffel bag and slung the long black strap over her shoulder.

"Nothing's wrong, I just didn't expect you to leave so early."

"Well, the quicker we get there the better. By the time we get there it'll be sunset. I tried calling Josh, but he won't answer his phone." Tori followed behind Teddi and locked the door behind her. She passed the keys back to her sister. Teddi pressed a button on her key remote to unlock the trunk of her light blue Audi convertible. She and Tori both secured their luggage in the trunk and got in the car. Teddi in the driver's seat, and Tori in the passenger seat.  

"That's because I'm staring at his phone. He's out on the beach with Matt playing football."

"Of course, he is," Teddi replied. She inserted her key into the ignition and turned on the car. "Tell him I'm on my way." Teddi let the rooftop down. She smiled, feeling the warmth of the golden California sun beam down on her shoulders.

"Will do," Autumn replied. "See you in a few."

Autumn tapped the red end button on her phone screen and whipped around. "Teddi is on her way!"

"What? Already?!" JC exclaimed, his eyes wide.

"Her interview got pushed back to next week!"

"Shit!"

"We gotta hustle," Matt said.

"Hello, I'm pregnant. I can only go so fast," Autumn replied, waddling around the living room.

"Did she say how far out she was?" JC asked, as he climbed a ladder.

"She said that she and Tori were just heading out."

"Can you keep track of the time?" Matt asked.

"Yeah, and I'll keep watch," Autumn replied.

"This has to be perfect," JC sighed.

"Don't worry," Autumn assured him. "It will!"

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Hmmm, I love California!" Tori sighed. She closed her eyes, and leaned her head against the headrest, feeling the breeze against her skin as they floated down the freeway.

"I'm telling you Tor, you should mover out here." Teddi urged, keeping her eyes focused on the road. For the past few years, she's been trying to convince her sister to relocate, but to no avail. They hardly ever got to spend time together, so she was grateful that Tori was able to join them for a weekend getaway at she and JC's beach house in La Jolla.

"Not a whore's chance in Heaven," Tori smirked.

"Ugh, you are so annoying!"

Tori laughed at her younger sister. She leaned forward and turned up the radio. "I wanna be your lover!" Tori sang- off key- to the Prince song.

"Now we know why I'm the singer, and you're the management analyst!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Well, I didn't think we could get it done."

"You're too overanalytical Josh," Autumn said. She watched as the two men put the finishing touches on the decorations and finished rearranging the furniture. She was relaxed on the sofa, with her feet propped onto the coffee table.

"I only get one shot at this," JC replied.

"Yeah, if you're lucky!" Matt quipped.

JC and Autumn shot him a look.

"Bad timing?" Matt winced.

"Matt, shut up. JC don't listen to him. Just relax, and everything will be perfect."

JC heard his ringtone and raced to the kitchen where his phone lay on the counter. "Ted."

"Hey Babe, Tori and I are about twenty minutes away!"

"Okay," JC replied, his voice clipped.

"Are you okay?" Teddi asked.

"Yeah, no I'm fine, see you soon. Love you."

"Love you too, Babe."

JC hung up the phone and raced into the living room. "She's on her way," he called to Matt and Autumn.

"How far out is she?" Matt asked.

"She said twenty minutes," JC replied.

"Well, it's time," Autumn smiled.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"We made it," Teddi said, as she pulled up to the beach house.

"This is it?" Tori asked stunned. She stared in awe as she took in the gorgeous  three story, six-thousand square foot Mediterranean villa. The beautiful glow of the orange and purple sunset provided a stunning backdrop.  

"Yep. Nuestra casa!" Teddi nodded, raising the rooftop, and shutting off the car. If someone had told her a year-and-a-half ago that she and JC would own not one, but two homes together, she would have laughed in their face. It was amazing how fast things could change. After Matt and Autumn's wedding, JC and Teddi decided to make it official. Despite their initial agreement to things slow, they realized that they had already taken things slow. Too slow. Six weeks later, JC asked Teddi to move in. A few months later, and they were buying a home together. The beach house wasn't in their plan, but after spending a romantic weekend in the villa, they decided they couldn't part with it.

"Let's go," Teddi smiled, nudging her sister, and unfastening her seat belt. Both she and Tori exited the car. Tori headed toward the trunk to retrieve her duffel bag. "Leave the bags, I'll have JC and Matt come down and get them." Teddi rounded the car and stepped onto the sidewalk. "C'mon, I wanna show you around!" She took her sister by the hand and led her up the stairs of the beach house. Once at the front door, Teddi pulled on the heavy brass handle to open it. Stepping into the foyer, she didn't recognize the house. "What?" She gasped at the sight before her.

"Go on," Tori urged. She bit down on her bottom lip, forcing herself not to smile.

Teddi looked down and saw the trail of red and pink rose petals. She followed them throughout the house. The trail led her to the living room. The lights were dimmed, and ornate candles illuminated the darkness. Teddi turned slowly and took in the sight before her. The living room was filled with bouquets of red and pink roses and strings of white lights hung from the ceiling. The room  had been completely transformed into a JC and Teddi exhibit. The walls were covered with pictures of the two of them throughout the years. They had been blown up and filtered in black-and-white. JC and Teddi during their first studio session, JC and Teddi at the Grammys. Teddi with JC in Orlando for his birthday. JC and Teddi singing together at Matt and Autumn's wedding.

"Oh. My. God." Teddi panted, the sight rendering her breathless. Her heart pounded in her ears, and she could feel every nerve in her body. She turned to Tori who was grinning from ear to ear. "D-did you know about this?"

Tori nodded.

"Follow the rose petals to the back door."

Teddi slowly made her way to the kitchen, she willed herself to breathe. Her hands began to shake uncontrollably, and her limbs were threatening to go numb. Once in the kitchen, Teddi walked to the back door, and pulled back the sliding glass. She stepped onto the patio and followed the trail of rose petals that led her down the stairs and onto the white sand of the beach. Where the rose petals ended, a walkway lit with candles on either side began. Teddi's eyes followed the walkway, where JC was waiting for her at the other end.

As Teddi started down the walkway, she heard the familiar notes of her favorite song. She looked behind her to find Autumn, Matt, and Tori on the patio. Autumn was operating their stereo system, and Marc Anthony began to serenade her with You Sang to Me. "Go ger your man!" Autumn shouted over the music.

Teddi made her way to JC, fighting back tears with each step. It seemingly took forever to reach him, and all she wanted was to finally get to him. He looked like a dream in his black V-neck, slacks, and black wingtip shoes. By comparison, Teddi felt underdressed in her Old Navy cotton sundress, Havaiana flip flops, and her hair pulled back into a ponytail. After what felt like an eternity Teddi finally reached JC. He was surrounded by bouquets of white, pink, and red roses.

"C'mere Baby," JC called to her. He reached his hand out, and she took it. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. JC brought his hand up to her face, and gently wiped her tears away, and caressed the sides of her face. "Why are you crying?" He whispered, looking into her eyes.

"Because I'm so in love with you, it's out of control," Teddi said breathlessly. He leaned his forehead against hers, and their noses touched. She breathed, taking him in. Taking the moment in. Overwhelmed with emotion, her heart was overflowing. JC's lips met hers and he kissed her slowly and passionately. Teddi lifted her arms, and propped them onto JC's shoulders, clasping her hands behind his neck. After a while, he broke their kiss.

"Teddi, do you know what today is?" JC watched as Teddi's eyebrows knit together and confusion etched onto her face.

"July 12th?"

JC let out a hearty laugh. "It's five years to the day that you told me you loved me."

"Oh," Teddi replied flatly.

"I know that night is not exactly on my Josh Chasez Highlight Reel. I should've been honest with you that night Teddi. God, I've wasted so much time denying my feelings for you. If I had just spoken up in the car that night, I could have saved us both a lot of heartache and pain."

"Josh I-"

"No Babe, I need to finish this," JC said before taking a deep breath. "For a long time, I was afraid; Afraid to take the next step with you. For over ten years, you've been one of my best friends, and the thought of us not working out, and me potentially losing you forever scared the shit out of me. So, I was paralyzed with fear. I would have rather kept you as a friend just so you would stay in my life. Do you know when I first saw you as more than a friend?"

"When?" Teddi asked, searching his eyes.

"That night at your apartment when we danced to You and Me by Lifehouse. I can't explain it, but it's like a switch flipped inside of me, and over the course of the next few months I began to fall for you," JC explained.

"Josh, that was nine years ago!"

"I know," JC sighed. "And so, I continued to bury my feelings. In the beginning, I was so confused, because you'd always been like my little sister. But suddenly, you were growing into this incredible woman before my eyes. I convinced myself that I wasn't in love with you, to the point that I actually believed it. And then you got back with Tyson. It nearly killed me to see you planning your future with him. I wanted to be the one you planned a future with. I've been so stupid and so blind for so many years and it almost cost me you Teddi. I am so sorry, Baby. Sorry that I didn't see how glaringly obvious it was that you were it for me. I'm so sorry that I took your love for granted Teddi, but I promise to never take you for granted again."

JC reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small wine-colored velvet box. He dropped down onto one knee. Teddi began to cry all over again. JC opened the box to reveal a five carat, platinum halo ring; the large diamond, surrounded by smaller diamonds, and the band also paved in diamonds. "So, will you spend forever with me, Baby? Teddi Elizabeth Windsor, can I change your last name to Chasez?"

Teddi nodded as she choked back more tears. "I've been waiting for this moment forever," she whispered. "I am never letting you go." She stilled her hand and tried to stop it from shaking as JC slid the ring onto her left ring finger. He stood up again and pulled Teddi in for another kiss.

"Good," JC moaned in between kisses. "'Cause you're never getting rid of me Baby!"

 

 

 

May 2018

"Josh, can I take the blindfold off yet?" Teddi huffed in frustration.

"Not yet Babe, just a sec," JC laughed as he led her down the hallway of the second floor of their home.

"How long is this gonna take?" Teddi snapped. "My back is killing me!"

"Yikes, someone's grumpy!" JC quipped.

"Sorry Babe, it's just-"

"Pregnancy hormones," JC and Teddi said in unison and shared a laugh.

One week into her third trimester, and Teddi was more impatient and anxious than she had been in the last seven months. The first trimester had been never ending morning sickness. The second trimester, never ending hunger. Now the third trimester? Constant mood swings! Fortunately, JC had the patience of Job, and she was surprised that he hadn't run for the hills.

JC smiled at his wife as an expression of annoyance crossed her face. She was growing more and more impatient by the second. He led her to the doorway and stood behind her. "One," he began to count as he untied her blindfold. "Two..." he dragged.

"Joshua Scott!" Teddi snapped.

JC snickered. "Three!" He ripped off the blindfold, restoring Teddi sight.

"Oh my God!" Teddi exclaimed. "It's perfect!" She turned to JC and wrapped her arms around him. "I love it," she squealed, placing kisses all over his face.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!" Teddi walked into the room and did a slow three-sixty turn. She observed every inch of the room. She'd had her doubts, but JC really pulled it off down to the last detail. Three of the walls were the exact floral white that she wanted, with the back accent wall painted in the specific shade of blue; a cross between teal and cornflower- called Paradise Sky. The blue accent wall was monogrammed with the initials JSC in white and was positioned right above the crib that was colored the exact seashell white she wanted. The ridiculously expensive crib in which Teddi had insisted on, that had to be imported from Cortina, Italy. Reading horror story after horror story about cribs malfunctioning, Teddi decided that she wouldn't settle for anything but the best for her baby boy.

Teddi walked around the room, taking in every detail. JC watched her every reaction anxiously. Teddi marveled at the wicker baskets, the rustic ash grey chest of drawers and the six-foot stuffed draft leaning against it. She sauntered over to the ivory changing station and read the sign that hung above it; "Of all the things my hands have held, the best by far is you." Teddi felt JC wrap his arms around her to cradle her stomach.

"Josh, this is absolutely perfect," Teddi said gratefully. She brought a hand up and reached behind her to caress his cheek.

"Yeah, well nothing but the best for our baby boy," JC replied sweetly, kissing Teddi's cheek. As if hearing the conversation, Teddi and JC felt their son kick.

"It looks like he agrees," Teddi laughed.

JC took her by the hand and led her across the room. He sat in the rocking chair next to the crib, and Teddi sat in his lap. They rocked back in forth.

"Can you believe it?" Teddi asked. "We're actually married, and we're having a baby. A baby Jace! We made a whole human!"

"I know, right?!" JC replied, continuing to rock. "If someone would've told me fifteen years ago when you walked into that conference room, that you'd be the wife and mother of my child, I wouldn't have believed it."

"So?" Teddi asked, searching his eyes.

"So, what?"

"Fifteen years later, what are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that I'm happy beyond my wildest dreams," JC replied, staring into her eyes. " I'm happy on a level that I could never conceive of achieving. I love every second of doing this life with you, Ted. And I cannot wait to finally hold our baby boy in my arms. Our child, that was created from our love." Joshua Jr. began to kick again, interrupting them.  JC caressed Teddi's protruding belly, as their son kicked up a storm. JC and Teddi were so overwhelmed with the love they had for their child already. A part of her, and a part of him. "Everything is perfect Teddi," JC smiled. "Picture perfect."