JC knew he was in trouble. He didn’t want to admit it, but he couldn’t keep denying it.

“Honesty,” he thought to himself as he drew in a deep breath. “We always promised honesty.” JC was finally being honest with himself at least but that meant it was time to come clean.

JC closed his laptop & turned off the lights in his recording studio as he made his way upstairs. He didn’t want to have this conversation. Instead of heading for the bedroom, he opted for the bathroom & a late night shower to buy him some more time to gather his thoughts.

He’d been good for so long, nearly a year. He’d been more social as that helped, gave him other things to focus on. Things that helped inspire him. Seclusion wasn’t good for that & being left alone with his own thoughts, well, that always became a slippery slope. By no surprise, it had again, though he’d lasted longer than he thought he would. Maybe he was getting better….or maybe the distance meant he’d get sucked back in even harder.

JC finished up his shower and towel dried off his hair as he slipped on a fresh pair of boxer-briefs. He inhaled deeply and held it for a moment, steeling himself, before heading to bed.

His body slipped under the single top sheet as he turned on the side table light & pulled his phone off the charger. He tapped into his contacts & scrolled down to find the name he was searching for. He selected the message icon & immediately felt the sting of a new blank message pop up. He’d deleted the history after their last conversation; after saying he was done & wouldn’t be back. Even as he stared at the empty screen, he could still see the last message ingrained in his memory: You Will Be.

JC hesitated. A part of him didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of being right but more of him just wanted the angst to be over. It had been the same routine the past 3 nights in a row, fingers hovering over the keyboard, wanting so badly to give in & reach out but either being too scared or too proud to go through with it. Always putting the phone back down & reasoning that he’d do it the next day if he still felt the same way.

Well, it was evident JC’s feelings weren’t going to change so he sucked in another mouthful of bravery and simply typed “I want to come back.” He hit send before he could even think about it & let out the breath he didn’t even realize he was holding. Now, his whole body was on alert with anxiety. He threw the phone on the other side of the bed then quickly retrieved it to turn up the volume so he’d be sure he could hear if it chimed & threw it back down again as he leapt to his feet and began to pace the room. There was no telling when he’d hear back….or if.

JC’s heart was beating too fast for his liking. He opened up one of the French doors off the side of his room and walked out onto the deck. Normally he’d be fully dressed if he was coming outside, even onto his own property just in case some paparazzi were around, but he was already flirting with danger tonight so caution was taking a back seat. JC walked out to the railing and gripped it loosely. He looked out over the expanse of land, letting the slight breeze cool his fevered body. It felt good. In fact, it felt freeing. JC shut his eyes and tried to quiet his mind. He felt his heart rate steadying as the air played through his short curls. He felt a sense of calm and a small smile moved across his lips as he allowed himself to enjoy the moment.

A tingling sound from inside brought JC back to reality. It took him a moment to realize it was the text tone he had assigned to only one number that he hadn’t heard in many months. JC forced himself not to run & jump at the phone as he released his now tensed grip on the balcony railing and walked back inside. He picked up the phone and gave a silent prayer before unlocking the screen to view the message.

“Joshua”.

JC felt a lump form in his throat that quickly dropped to his stomach. He was instantly flush & took the phone back out with him onto the deck, needing to feel the cool breeze to keep him calm. He sat in one of the padded chairs as he reread his name over & over, trying to gauge the tone behind the text. He wasn’t sure exactly how he should respond until the phone trilled again. 

“I’ve missed you,” the phone beckoned.

“I’ve missed you too,” JC typed quickly, his eagerness getting the better of him.

“I knew you would be back,” came the reply. JC could almost hear the devilish voice in his ear as the next text came in. “What took you so long?”

JC debated how to answer this simple question that had such a complex answer. He remembered his vow of honesty & let the words flow out of him. “I realized I was wrong,” he typed. “I thought I was too dependent on you. That walking away made me a stronger person but it didn’t. I’m tired of denying what I want for fear of people’s judgement. I get that now & if you’d let me, I’d like to come back.”

Three ominous dots filled the left side of JC’s screen as he waited for them to be turned into words. “Pretty sentiment but do you indeed “get that”?” the message taunted him. “You will have to prove that you do.”

“I understand,” JC responded, feeling a mixture of remorse & anticipation build up inside him. The phone fell silent after that & JC felt the lump at his throat again. He laid the phone on his bare stomach & relaxed back in the chair, shutting his eyes and again letting the air ease his body. He didn’t know what the response would be back but he knew he’d have to accept it, no matter what.

A few minutes past until JC felt the vibration of the phone against his body as the distinct chimes of the text alert rang ominously in his ears. This was it. He was more scared than excited now. Scared of being turned away & scared of the price he’d have to pay if he was allowed to return. He knew it would be steep but he wanted that part of his life back more than anything. JC sent another silent prayer to the heavens as he viewed the message.

“11pm tomorrow night. You know where.”

JC’s fear gave way to acceptance & resolve. He was being given a chance, he couldn’t ask for more than that. He typed back his reply slowly, watching each letter appear on his screen, more sure than ever this was what he wanted, what was missing from his life that he had denied himself for too long. He soaked in the two simple words and finally felt a peace sweep over him as he sent his reply.

“Yes Mistress.”

JC slowed his motorcycle as he made the turn off Robertson and down an alley that still looked the exact same way he had first encountered it nearly two decades prior. He cut the engine and eased the bike to rest close to the brick exterior of the Thai restaurant that occupied the front half of the building. A quick check of his watch showed 10:42pm. JC allowed himself a moment to breathe and attempt to steady his pulse. He had no idea how this session would go but if he’d mustered up the courage to re-engage after all this time, he knew he had to follow through.

A few rapid knocks at the door quickly produced a hulking, bearded, mountain of a man emerging from behind. JC remembered that part of his own previous bodyguards job was to appear intimidating but even they could have gotten some tips from this guy.

“Name”, the doorman demanded more so than asked.

“Chasez,” JC replied back. There had been a time when he would have used an alias but he figured that need had passed. That, or maybe he was past the point of carrying if someone found out. Disillusionment or old age, he wasn’t sure which and didn’t care enough to dive into his subconscious about it further.

“First time?” the man actually asked this time, moving to hold the door open for JC to pass. 

“Long time”, JC stated, staring down the dark corridor and taking a deep breath before stepping through the threshold.

“Miss Jacky will want to see you then” the bouncer called after him. A small smile crossed JC’s lips as he continued down the hall. This was one part of the visit he would not be dreading.

JC pushed aside a black velvet curtain to reveal the lounge of the establishment. The details had changed but the general feel was the same. Rich blue walls surrounded an eclectic array of velvety cushioned chairs. A small gold bar replaced the old wooden one but it’s placement remained unchanged.

As JC was re-familiarizing himself with the surroundings, a boisterous yell grabbed his attention before the door to the main area flung open.

“My baby Josh is home!” bellowed the woman at him as she held her arms wide and moved toward JC, signaling this was going to be a long and tight hug for sure.

“Hi Miss Jacky,” JC laughed as he also outstretched his arms, preparing for impact. JC took in the older woman barreling at him. She had to be in her 60s at this point and JC honestly thought she would have retired by now. However, JC had to admit that seeing her did make him feel a little bit like he was, indeed, coming back  “home”.

Miss Jacky reached up and wrapped her arms around JC’s neck and pulled him down into the tight hug he had predicted yet her strength surprised him and he stumbled as they embraced. JC had Miss Jacky by nearly a foot in height so the position was awkward but JC stayed on his feet and let the shorter woman proceed in her smothering.

When she felt satisfied, she finally let JC go so he could stand erect. “Look at you!” she exclaimed, truly taking him in. “Look at this hair! I love it. Still a hint of those curls, I see. And those gorgeous eyes! Oh, still sparkling as ever. You are still every bit the stud muffin.”

“Well, maybe a bit more muffin than before,” JC chuckled as he patted his stomach. Miss Jacky scoffed and smacked his hand, which made JC chuckle even more. “Now you wanna talk about sexy, let’s talk about this outfit, Mama!” JC redirected and whistled.

“You’re damn right!” she smiled back before giving a slow turn to show off the full ensemble. Miss Jacky always had a dramatic flare to her wardrobe and tonight was no exception as she wore a silver beaded bodysuit that could have come straight from a Vegas stage with a flowing dark floral robe with fur along all the edges. The material was so thin it was see through so the garment really had no purpose than to be a show piece and JC was sure that was exactly why it was purchased.

“Now Josh, sit sit sit. I want to catch up before your session,” Miss Jacky directed as she guided JC to a pair of mustard yellow armchairs that faced one another. JC obliged and sat where instructed, smiling at the older woman as she took her own seat. Miss Jacky started out as Mistress Jacqueline back in the 80s and took ownership of the establishment shortly before JC had made his first visit. He sometimes wondered how this bubbly woman could have ever been a strict dominatrix but from the stories he’s heard over the years, she was certainly good at it. Being the Madam definitely fit her better, JC always reasoned. Precious few outside of his family could call him anything other than JC but Miss Jacky had the panache to pull it off. JC stole a glance to the door that separated him from another woman who could call him by his real name and drew in a quick breathe before forcing himself to turn his attention back to Miss Jacky.

“Oh honey, you need a drink” Miss Jacky correctly surmised. She reached into her cleavage and pulled out her cell phone, tapping & swiping a few times. Before she could put the phone away, JC heard the aforementioned door open. His body tensed as he turned to look but instantly relaxed when he saw an unfamiliar face.

“Yes, Miss Jacky? What can I do for you?” The girl who had entered asked in a lilting voice.

“Technology, isn’t it great?” Miss Jacky laughed, waving her phone in the air. “Leena, dear. Josh here needs a drink. Is it still Merlot for you?” she directed to JC.

“Ro?e now but I think I need something a bit stronger tonight,” JC chuckled. “Maker’s, neat, two fingers,” he requested of the waitress, if that’s what you could call her. She wore a skin tight bubblegum pink latex dress with matching heels. JC tried not to inspect too closely but he couldn’t help but notice the woman’s erect nipples pressed against the molded fabric & surmised that was the only cloth on her body. Her dark hair was pulled into two high, fluffy pig tails & JC noticed her makeup matched her outfit as well. 

“Splendid!” Miss Jacky exclaimed, pulling back JC’s concentration once more. “I’ll have the same. This is a celebration, isn’t it?”

“Yes, Miss Jacky. Whatever you wish,” came the so called waitress’s reply as she turned and made her way to the bar.

“Is it?” JC questioned back, trying to relax his body into the soft chair.

“Of course it is!” Miss Jacky emphatically confirmed. “You’re back!”

“Yeah, well, let’s see how long that lasts,” JC wondered out loud, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Now don’t get yourself all worried about that right now. This is a good thing! Besides, you’ve been coming and going for years now.”

“I know but it was...it was casual,” JC tried to explain. “There were no expectations, no commitment. I’m the one that drew the line in the sand. She knew I was full of shit and she was right.”

“Josh, honey,” Miss Jacky started, sitting forward and putting a hand on JC’s knee. “You did what you thought at the time was the right thing to do. But sweetheart, you know denying yourself things that feed your soul will never let you live a truly happy life. It’s about balance and you know that.”

JC smiled at Miss Jacky and patted her hand. “Yeah, I know.”

The moment was interrupted by Leena returning with the drinks. She handed Miss Jacky hers first and then turned to JC and extended him his rocks glass. JC gave a friendly grin to the woman as he accepted the drink. She smiled back widely but JC noticed it didn’t quite reach her eyes. He passingly wondered what brought her to this place but didn’t dwell on it; everyone had their reasons whether he understood it or not. The few people he’d ever told certainly didn’t get it.

“Is there anything else I can get you, Miss Jacky?” Leena asked in her cheerful way that JC was picking up on.

“No Leena Dear, thank you. You’ve done perfectly,” Miss Jacky told her, patting the girl’s hand. “Please let Mistress Raina know that Joshua is ready to see her.”

“Yes, Miss Jacky,” Leena answered and headed back through the door she originally came out of to complete her task. JC watched her go and audibly inhaled a deep breath. He then looked at his drink and shot it quickly.

“Oh for goodness sake,” Miss Jacky laughed at him, grabbing his empty glass from his hand and pouring half her drink into it. “You act like you are walking into an execution.”

“I might be,” JC confessed, this time forcing himself to actually sip & taste the drink.

“Josh, Raina wouldn’t have let you come back if she wasn’t willing to work on mending this relationship.”

“I suppose,” JC said skeptically, swirling the liquid in his glass, trying to calm himself.

Before Miss Jacky could provide any further words of encouragement, the door opened again as Leena stepped back into the room. “Mistress Raina is ready to see Joshua now,” she announced, stepping aside & holding the door open for JC to walk through.

JC stood and let the rest of the liquor spill down his throat, silently praying for the so called liquid courage people often talk about. As JC finished and put his glass on a small coffee table, Miss Jacky stood as well. She grabbed JC by his forearms and looked up at him.

“You’ll be fine,” she reassured him. “Just be honest, even if it’s ugly.” 

“I will,” JC promised before turning toward the door. Miss Jacky gave JC’s ass an encouraging slap that made him jump & laugh as he turned back to her. She pointed at him and winked, clearly having succeeded in getting him to laugh even a little.

“Here goes everything,” JC muttered to himself as he passed Leena and headed down the hall.

JC silently followed Leena down the familiar corridor to the doorway he knew all too well. Every time he stepped through it, he experienced a different emotion. Sometimes excitement, sometimes trepidation; tonight he was feeling resolute. 

He stepped forward to take in his surroundings and heard the door gently shut behind him. It was just him now, for the moment, at least. JC’s eyes scanned the room and found it mostly unchanged. A new coat rack was affixed to the wall for better ease of access to various implements of pain & pleasure but that was all JC could find as different.

JC looked to his right and saw the same faded doormat with two hooks at about eye level. He knew the drill as he removed his leather jacket and hung it up while kicking off his boots. “I really should buy her a new one” JC thought to himself as he placed the boots on the mat. He then turned to face the room again and took in yet another huge breath of air before proceeding to the center.

If the slightly worn wood in that particular spot on the floor wasn’t enough indication, JC still would have known exactly where to go. He was too well trained. He stood over the spot, staring at it, practically wishing it would conjure up some magic sign to will him on. It didn’t, however, so JC had to muster up some more resolve as he sunk to his knees, clasped his hands behind his back and bowed his head. He was ready.

A few minutes went by but JC had no idea how long he’d been holding that position, to him it felt like hours. Finally, the stillness of the air was broken by the slithering voice he adored and feared. “Joshua”, it intoned to him, making every hair stand straight on end and his cock jerk to attention.

JC fought every urge to turn around. He hadn’t expected her from behind him, she normally came in the side door as he knew it led directly to the dressing room area. Already she was toying with him. He didn’t know whether to enjoy it or fear it but the anticipation was killing him.

He heard her footsteps slowly creep toward him, one agonizingly sharp step at a time. JC could feel his whole body start to vibrate as she inched closer and had to concentrate intently to keep himself still. A leather boot appeared in front of his lowered face with the matching one close behind. He saw a swath of red velvet cascading down one side but didn’t dare look to see the rest of the outfit. He knew not to move a muscle until he was told.

One foot slowly rose up towards his face as JC steeled himself for a night of utter submission & groveling. However, the foot stopped at his chest and gently but firmly pushed him to the ground. JC toppled over as the foot planted itself squarely just below his sternum, the spiked heel landing on his stomach, applying just enough pressure to remind him not to squirm.

Mistress Raina smirked down at JC’s shocked expression. “Let me guess: this time it’ll be different,” she mockingly stated. JC could feel the contempt dripping from her voice and suddenly had some genuine fear as to how he was going to make his indiscretion up to her.

Just as JC was trying to wrap his brain around the situation, the foot was removed swiftly from his body and he heard the pounding of footsteps marching away. Again, he knew better than to look but was utterly confused as to what was happening. Next he heard two distinct pops of metal hitting metal and two thuds against the floor. The footsteps came back towards him as Mistress Raina’s face loomed over him.

“Get up,” she growled down at him.

“Yes, Mistress,” JC sputtered out as he scurried to his feet.

Mistress Raina pointed toward the back of the room. “Sit,” she demanded.

JC saw the source of the aforementioned sound as two folding chairs faced each other. “What the hell?” JC thought as he did as instructed. He sat in the one on the right as Mistress Raina made her way to sit opposite him. As she glided into the chair, JC was able to finally take in her appearance. The red velvet he saw earlier was part of a tight, very low cut dress with a slit so high & wide that JC could see her black lace underwear easily. Her breasts were on full display and JC had to suppress licking his lips as he recalled worshiping her porcelain skin on many a countless night. Her boots encased her legs all the way up to mid thigh and she had on matching black gloves that mimicked the look on her arms. Her jet black hair hung straight down the left side of her body, nearly to her cinched waist, and shone like silk. Red lipstick and black eyeliner completed the look but JC only stole a quick glance as he feared the gaze that awaited him.

“Speak,” Mistress Raina commanded, cutting the silence in the air abruptly.

“I...I...ummm…” JC stammered, having no idea what to say, or rather what she wanted to hear.

“JC,” she said sharply, grabbing his immediate attention. His eyes grew wide; she hadn’t called him by his nickname since the first time they met. “JC,” she said again, making her point of using a different name. “We need to have a very frank and honest discussion.”

“Yes, Mistress,” JC agreed, already knowing putting words to his feelings was going to be tough.

“No JC, none of that, not tonight. Just Raina.”

JC felt a gut punch he wasn’t prepared for. He had expected rejection when he initially texted but her response seemed so hopefully they could work past everything. Somehow he wasn’t surprised she would choose to make this as painful as possible.

“We have been doing this for nearly 20 years, JC. You may pay me to make all your dirty little fantasies come true and keep your secrets but this stopped being simply a business relationship a long time ago. The way you acted towards me was unacceptable. I may solely be some all powerful fiercely dominant woman in your mind but I’m still a person with feelings.”

“I’m sorry, Mis….I’m sorry,” JC answered. He instantly felt ashamed that he had been so selfish; he never even considered that she would be hurt. Mad, yes, but not hurt.

“JC, what the hell actually happened? You’ve been in tons of relationships over the years and we’ve always managed to make this still work. Ones that wanted to join in, ones who didn’t, ones you just didn’t tell; I never judged how you handled your personal relationships because you were always honest with me about them. Not this time though and quite frankly, I deserve an explanation.” Raina folded her arms and waited for JC to respond.

JC sat there silently, gathering his thoughts. She was right, their number one rule was honesty and he hadn’t been honest the last time they spoke. Rather, he was just spewing a lie he had stupidly bought into and it was time to admit it.

“I got old,” JC lamented. “I look around and see my friends in these committed relationships and marriages, with their amazing careers and kids running around and….I don’t quite know how to explain it, I just thought that was what I wanted but I was just trying to convince myself I did. Not that I don’t either but I….” JC sighed audibly, knowing he could no longer skirt the facts. “Let me try this again.”

“I met a girl, well, not a girl, a woman. We dated casually at first and it was fine and...she got pregnant. I mean, she was 42 so I knew it wasn’t completely impossible but still a shock. I’m always careful, we were careful. I’ve gone through a few pregnancy scares over the years but surprisingly never had one actual come to fruition.”

“All of a sudden, my whole life needed to change. I had to figure out how to make this relationship work or if I even wanted it to. I should have been happy but I was scared shitless.”

“So that’s why you called things off, cuz you were gonna be a father?” Raina asked.

“No, actually. I had come here a few days after I found out but then everything just kind of spun out of control. It just...it wasn’t a priority any longer.”

“I can understand that but then why the sudden declaration of “I can’t do this anymore!”?”

JC choked back his emotions and continued. “She made it about 7 weeks and then miscarried. I didn’t even...it was so early, we never even got a sonogram. I’ve never seen my kid and I never will. It’s like he or she never existed but they did,” JC wiped away a tear as he pressed on. “She was a wreck, I was a wreck. I hadn’t told anybody, not even my parents, so I thought I’d be relieved I could just go on like nothing happened. I didn’t want to though; I was sold so fast on this fantasy of an instant family of my own that I didn’t want to give it up.”

“I moved her into my house within a week. I canceled recording sessions, I stopped writing, I put my complete focus on her and creating this family. We delved into the nitty gritty of our lives hard and fast so we could get any obstacles out of our way. She had some debt, not crazy, a couple grand….I paid it off. I told her about you, about this, we agreed if we were going to be good role models that I needed to end it.”

“You agreed or she told you?” Raina questioned.

“She suggested, I complied. Actually, it’s not even that. I wanted to believe it so bad that I made myself do it. It was like I was brainwashed and applied the soap myself.”

Raina covered her mouth to stifle a giggle at JC’s word play as he continued. “She never said “End this”, it wasn’t her thing and that’s ok. We both didn’t want distractions from our goal of having a kid and, at the time, it made perfect sense.”

“When did it stop making sense?”

“We spent months trying to get her pregnant again. Changed our diets, upped our exercise, tried different massage and meditation but it never worked. About three weeks ago, she called it quits and left. She didn’t tell me she had sub-let her condo instead of selling it so it was easy for her to just leave, I guess.”

“Did she tell you why?”

JC chuckled to himself, “I was suffocating her. Can you believe it? I’ve been shit at commitment my whole life yet I was all consumingly committed to her.”

“You weren’t committed to her, JC. You were committed to an ideal. She just happened to be there when it happened,” Raina delicately advised him.

JC sat there stone faced, taking Raina’s retort in. He slunk down in his chair and covered his face with his hands. “Fuck,” he breathed into them. 

Raina let him sit there for a few moments to deal with whatever emotions he was going through before speaking again. “JC, I’m so sorry for your loss but your grief has manifested itself in some really unhealthy ways.”

“I know,” JC admitted, sitting back up. “I called up a therapist and that’s been helping a lot. I’m easing back into the studio, working with some new artists. Haven’t gotten back to writing yet but I’ll get there. I’m trying to….I want to rebuild the connections I broke off.”

“Is that what this is about then? Do you think you can simply apologize and we can go back to the way things were?” Raina asked him, her voice raising just a bit.

“No. I knew it would be work. Quite frankly, I thought for sure you’d tell me to fuck off when I texted.”

“I thought about it,” Raina quickly interjected.

“And that would have been fair. You’re right, I was completely inappropriate with you. I...I honestly was just trying to convince myself that I needed to grow up and stop doing all this. That because I liked...” JC paused, gathering his words. “I wanted to blame you as the reason I didn’t have the white picket fence and 2.8 kids and all that American ideal shit. It was easier than admitting that I didn’t want it, because I’m supposed to, right? I like this and it was never something I was ashamed of until it was and instead of trying to figure out why, it was easier to shut you out. I don’t expect you to forgive me but I’m thankful you’ve given me a chance to explain.”

Raina stared at JC, herself now trying to take everything in. She got up and walked to the opposite side of the room, her back squarely toward JC so he couldn’t see her face. She wanted to cry and was trying hard to hold it together. She’d come to terms years ago that part of her job was essentially being used by people for their own pleasure. She’d had spouses threaten her for corrupting their “better half”, she’d had CEOs who got caught by their board members call her a deplorable slut and storm off. She never let it get to her because she was secure in who she was in that regard. She loved her job and never thought of herself or her co-workers as anything less than hard working people who chose a more unconventional path in life.

JC was a rare one, however. It wasn’t because he was famous; this was L.A., she’d had quite a few famous clients over the years, that didn’t phase her. It was the fact they had been consistently in this D/s relationship for years. Sure, it was her job, she wasn’t going anywhere, but most clients had a shelf life of 3 years max. For JC to have been a part of her life for this long was remarkable and simply unheard of in her industry. That’s part of why it had hurt so incredibly bad when he burned everything they had built over the years to the ground. She never saw it coming and suddenly someone who had been a part of her life was gone with no explanation.

She knew now though. She’d seen this with people before; the stupid idea that enjoying anything other than vanilla sex with your partner after 30 somehow made you less of an adult. It had always been her opinion it made you a better one because these were the people who owned who they were and didn’t conform to “social norms”. She was honestly surprised that JC of all people had fallen victim to it.

Raina composed herself and turned back to JC, still sitting in the exact position she left him in. “What is it you want, JC?”

JC turned his body toward her, “I just wanted to apologize and, hopefully, earn my way back into your good graces.”

“No no no, that’s not what I meant. I mean, your whole life got upheaved then plopped back down again. Where does that leave you? How do you want to rebuild it?” Raina questioned.

JC chuckled, “Sounds like I’m my own tornado.” He sat for a moment and then confessed, “I honestly don’t know. Things can never be exactly as they were but I don’t think I want them to be either. I’m not sure yet what that means.”

“I think you do, JC,” Raina told him, crossing back over towards him. “Just say what you’re feeling out loud, even if it doesn’t make sense.”

JC pulled in a deep breath and spoke, “I want what everyone wants; a perfect life. I just don’t want the same things that constitute that life that lots of other people do. I want to work steadily in my industry and have my musical succeed. I want a partner who will support me in every aspect of my life, including this one. I don’t want this to end, Raina, and I’ve spent so many years thinking I could have it both ways but I just don’t know if that’s realistic anymore.”

“Why not?”

“Because it has yet to work. Most chicks don’t get it and the ones that do think it’s just some fun kink and it’s more than that. I don’t know how to explain that to someone.”

“The right person will understand it, JC,” Raina reassured him, sitting back down across from him. “You deserve someone who loves and respects every aspect of you. Even if I wasn’t a part of your life, your desires are and that’s never going to change.”

“How do you do it?” JC asked earnestly.

It was an unspoken rule to separate your personal life from your professional one, one Raina followed diligently. Hearing JC’s turmoil and given their history, she felt compelled to chance it. “My husband Ron is amazing. We met at a bar where we were both with some friends and I drunkenly told him what I did for a living. Of course, at first, he was all “That’s so hot, you can spank me anytime” but as the relationship got more serious, I had to really lay out what I did and make sure he was ok with it. I set up a mock session with one of the male Doms here and had Ron come in and watch intimately what I do. He understandably needed some time to fully take it all in but he came around. My son Ethan and daughter Winnie have an idea what I do but they’re too young to truly grasp it. Though Ethan is closing in on 17 and he’s gonna put two and two together real soon.”

JC blinked a couple times. “I’m sorry, I just….that’s amazing you can be so open with your family but, how did I miss you being pregnant...twice?!”

Raina laughed, “Ethan was when you were doing your solo tour so the timing worked out well so you never knew. Winnie I was able to hide nearly until I gave birth because she decided to show up early. I was out for a few weeks and I’m sure they told you I was on vacation if you called.”

JC truly couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He always assumed Raina was single and living some posh life shopping on Rodeo by day and making people worship her by night. He was amazed she was a wife and absolutely stunned she was mom. She probably baked cookies for the PTA meetings for all he knew now. 

“So you actually do have it all?” JC finally asked her.

“I don’t think anyone actually has it all, JC, but what I have I enjoy greatly. I got into this business after college to pay off my loans and ended up loving it. I get paid to live out my kinky fantasies and help other people achieve theirs. It’s amazing but it’s not my whole life. I don’t live a “kinky lifestyle” at home and I wish more people would realize it doesn’t need to be all or nothing or something hidden away in secret. It’s just about balance.”

“Yeah, that’s what Miss Jacky said earlier,” JC stated. “I guess I just wish I could have what you have.”

“You can, JC. You just have to find it.”

“I’ll be 45 in August; if it hasn’t happened yet, I doubt it’s ever going to,” JC lamented.

“This is where I think I can help,” Raina said, getting up and crossing to a small table and starting to jot something down. She returned with a piece of paper. “Do you trust me?” she asked him.

“Implicitly,” he responded without hesitation.

“No, JC, really think about this one. I’ve never once interfered in your personal life but I care about your well being and feel like this may just be what you are looking for.”

JC considered Raina’s question. She was right, no matter the girl or situation with her, she never gave her opinion or passed judgment. The closest she ever got was sending him home to have sex on her command but he was going to do that anyways; he just liked being told to.

“Yes, I do trust you,” JC finally replied,

“Good,” Raina smiled as she handed over the piece of paper. JC peered at it to see an address written across: 2673 Davis Blvd. “I will make the arrangements and let you know when to be there. What’s your schedule the next few days?” Raina asked.

“Um, I’ve got a recording session Thursday morning, should be done around 3,” JC said, still staring at the note and scratching his head. He knew better than to ask where she wanted him to go and he felt confident she wasn’t leading him into danger.

“That should work.” Raina turned around and headed towards the side door of the room. She stopped just short of opening it and turned to re-address JC. “We’re done for the night, Joshua. Go home and get some sleep. I’ll be in touch.” With that, Raina left and shut the door behind her, leaving JC alone with his thoughts once more.

JC practically fell onto the floor in relief. He’d never been so happy to hear his own name in his life. He looked at the note again, trying to imagine what Raina had planned for him. The worst had to be over, right?

JC was barely off his bike in his driveway to google the address Raina had given him. It was an average office building in downtown L.A. but JC knew there had to be more to it. He opened the front door as he searched for any tenants he could find but nothing jumped out at him. Perhaps he was going to meet someone there and they’d be going somewhere else?

It was useless to speculate, JC finally decided as he headed upstairs to his bedroom. Raina had a plan and it didn’t matter if he knew what it was or not, he knew he’d be going along with it. 

Luckily, JC didn’t have to wait long as he had a text waiting for him as he left his recording session a few days later. “Tomorrow. 2pm. Ste 1244. Dress casual,” read the simple instructions.

JC wasn’t quite sure how to respond to Raina so he opted for a quick “Understood” and then opened his Google app to search who resided in the suite she mentioned. “Fleishtein, Russell, Dolekin & Associates” came up with the address JC had typed in and he clicked on their website in bewilderment. “An entertainment lawyer?” JC questioned to himself. He knew Raina mentioned his personal life but he didn’t think she meant his professional life as well. JC could feel his skin grow hot as he contemplated what he’d be walking into but again, knew worrying over it would be of no use. Whatever was planned was already in motion and the truth was that he really did trust Raina. He was just going to have to trust that whatever awaited him would be in his best interest.

Despite knowing that, however, JC tossed and turned all night. He fought to stay in bed at least until 6am then made his coffee and enjoyed the last bit of the sunrise off his deck. His mind was way too cluttered with thoughts for him to wait out the next couple hours. He opted to skip his workout for the day and made a rare second cup of coffee as he settled into the couch to watch a few episodes of Top Chef. Mind numbing comfort was definitely needed.

Around 11am, JC reluctantly got up and headed for the shower. He turned the water up to just shy of scorching and let the bathroom fill with steam as he undressed. He always felt better after a shower, like he was literally washing off whatever was plaguing him that day.

JC eased his body into the stream of near lava as his chest immediately turned pink from the sudden temperature change. Quite soon though his body acclimated as it always did, him running one body part after another under the hot water, allowing it to relax him. He took his time, letting his thoughts roam in and out, trying hard not to concentrate on one specific thing. He thought about the past few months, about his conversation with Raina and various intimate encounters they’d had over the years. He thought back on girlfriends past and let memories seep in, trying to figure out how he had gotten to the position he found himself in today. How it seemed so easy for everyone else except him.

With the water starting to cool, JC knew it was time to finish up. He did a final rinse and then hopped out to dry off. He made his way over to the closet and pulled out some dark blue jeans and a gray t-shirt for the meeting. Raina said dress casual but it was a lawyer’s office after all so he threw on a black cardigan overtop and slipped on a pair of stylish black boots. He gave his hair a quick blow dry, brushed his teeth, and was out the door.

Traffic anytime in L.A. was hell but on a Friday, the window was about 10-10:15am to successfully get anywhere at more than a snail’s pace. He was a bit mad at himself for opting to drive the Rubicon but he idled his time flipping through the radio and singing softly to himself as he crawled along.

JC made it to the office complex with hardly any time to spare. He parked and made his way briskly through the main lobby to the elevators and hit the button for the 12th floor. He checked his hair and clothes as the car journeyed upward and was as composed as possible once the doors opened at his stop. 

He found Suite 1244 with ease and entered to find a perky, curly haired, redhead at the reception desk as he walked in. “Hi!” she waved, beckoning him toward her before he even had fully come into the lobby. “Welcome to Fleishtein, Russell, Dolekin & Associates. How can I help you?”

“Hi, um, I have a 2pm appointment.”

“Sure thing. With who?”

Shit. He was positive Raina hadn’t sent along a name yet he pulled out his phone to relook anyways. “Sorry,” he apologized as he went to his messages, “I’m not sure…”

“Not a problem, I can look it up on my end. What’s your name?”

“JC Chasez,” he replied.

The receptionist started typing and clicking as JC waited. She hadn’t reacted at all when JC gave his name so he figured she was either extremely professional since she probably saw people who had all levels of fame on a day to day basis or she was too young for his name to register anything to her. Giving her features a fast once over, he believed it was the latter.

“Got it!” the receptionist exclaimed. “You are scheduled to meet with Colleen Lasota.”

“Colleen Lasota,” JC repeated, searching his brain frantically to see if the name sounded familiar in any way.

“My Mom’s Irish and my Dad’s Italian,” a voice beside him replied. JC turned quickly and took a step back as he was surprised by her appearance. “I got off easy though; my brother is Vincenzo.”

JC smiled at the woman and extended his hand. “JC Chasez, nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Colleen stated, smiling right back at him as she accepted his handshake. “My office is right down the hall, if you’d like to follow me.”

JC did as instructed. He was glad he grabbed the cardigan as he would have been severely underdressed without. Colleen wore a fitted, bright red, long sleeved turtleneck top with a black pencil skirt and matching heels. Her dark hair was pulled back in a bun and she looked every bit the attorney he assumed she was.

They made their way into her office as JC took in the room. A very typical upscale lawyer’s office in L.A. White furniture, clear desk, various awards displayed neatly behind her chair, Stanford Law diploma hung prominently. JC wouldn’t have been the least bit surprised if the walls opened up to reveal he had actually wandered into a film set, it was that stereotypical and devoid of any personality.

“Please, have a seat,” Colleen advised him as she shut the door and sat down behind her desk. “I must admit, Mr. Chasez…”

“JC, please,” JC interrupted her as he sat.

“JC,” she continued, her smile never waning. “I was pretty surprised to see your name on my calendar today. So tell me, are you here to set up proper representation for your next solo project or do you need help negotiating a contract for a reunion with *NSYNC? Personally, I believe each of you gentlemen deserves equal pay but I can definitely ensure you a spot on the set list for your own material.”

“Oh, wow,” JC fumbled, being completely caught off guard by Colleen’s questions and blushing slightly. “No, um, thank you but no, that’s not why I’m here. You did some through research though.”

“That’s my job,” Colleen reassured him. “Also, I was very much in your key demographic.”

“Oh, so you’re a fan?” JC said skeptically.

“Why do you say that like it’s a bad thing?” Colleen chuckled. “I was a teenage girl in 1999, of course I was a fan.” JC shifted uncomfortably in his chair so Colleen redirected the conversation back to the matter at hand. “Well JC, what is it then that I can help you with?”

JC studied Colleen’s face. She didn’t let on any sign that this was anything other than a normal business meeting and JC was more confused than ever. “I...I’m honestly not sure, I assumed you would know. My, um, a friend set this meeting up and didn’t really give me any details about it.”

“Some friend,” Colleen once again chuckled. She picked up her office phone and quickly hit a button. “Hi Stacey, it’s Colleen. Can you check if there were any additional notes for Mr. Chasez’s appointment today and who scheduled it for him? Just call me back when you find the info, thanks.”

Colleen hung up the receiver and stood up. “Well, in the meantime, can I offer you a drink?” Colleen walked over to a small bar cart that resided under a window that overlooked downtown. “I’ve got some gin, rum, vodka. I’m out of Macallan but I do have some Maker’s if that interests you?”

The sudden realization hit JC so hard he nearly fell out of his chair. He stared at Colleen in wide eyed disbelief. “Oh. My. God,” he breathed. “You’re Leena.”

“Excuse me?” Colleen asked him quizzically, herself now confused.

“That’s why I’m here,” JC stated, piecing the puzzle together aloud. “I met you, the other night, at the ummm…” JC suddenly clammed up, not wanting to say too much. From the look on her face, Colleen had no idea what he was talking about. What if he’d just made a huge embarrassing mistake?

Colleen’s eyes narrowed on JC. “Who exactly set up this meeting for you, JC?” She questioned him pointedly. Before JC had time to respond, Colleen’s office phone rang. She strode over to answer it quickly, never taking her eyes off JC. “What did you find out, Stacey?”

JC watched as all the color drained out of Colleen’s face as Stacey spoke. Colleen looked shell shocked as she stared off into the distance and simply replied with “Thanks Stace” as she hung up the receiver and sat back down. JC watched her processing the information she just received and knew now he wasn’t wrong. This was definitely the busty pink latex clad woman he’d seen just a few nights earlier.

“Raina,” Colleen finally said softly, still not looking at JC.

JC waited a moment before responding, “Yeah, Raina. I’m, I mean, she’s my….is she your, ummm?”

“No,” Colleen responded, just as still as previously, “she’s not. Piper is mine, or rather, I’m hers.” JC knew Piper, or more accurately knew of her. He’d seen her many times over the years but always kept a distance. She’d been there as well the first time JC went to the club but he hadn’t been paired with her. After the story he’d heard the following night after that first adventure, he was very glad he hadn’t been.

Colleen physically shook her head, trying to gather her thoughts and regain any semblance of control over the situation. “JC,” she said sternly.

“I didn’t know,” JC instantly stated, practically throwing his hands up in defense. “I swear. She just gave me an address and a time, that’s it. I looked it up and saw it was an entertainment lawyer so I thought it had to do with my career but I never imagined I’d be meeting you.”

“You always let Raina meddle in your career?” Colleen asked, the disdain in her voice abundantly clear.

“No,” JC confessed, “never before today. It’s been, well, let’s just say we’re trying something new.” JC didn’t want to disclose too much. Colleen was clearly angry and it seemed like she had every right to be if she was in the dark as much as he was.

“That’s great for you, JC but I pay a lot of money to ensure I don’t remember a lot of what happens in that part of my life….”

“Don’t remember?” JC questioned, not understanding what Colleen meant.

Colleen held her hand up, indicating to JC she wasn’t going to explain her statement. “You of all people should appreciate the fact that I keep that part of my life separate from everything else. From my friends, from my social life and especially from my workplace.”

“I’m sorry,” JC stated, knowing full well if the roles were reversed, he’d be just as caught off guard and defensive. “I never meant for you, for anyone, to get caught in whatever this is.”

Colleen put her hands flat on her desk and pushed herself up into a standing position, letting out a long loud breath as she did. She took a minute before looking up at JC. “I think you should leave,” she said coldly, no trace of the friendly smile that had greeted him barely 10 minutes prior.

“Of course,” JC said, quickly rising to his feet. He didn’t know what to say so he started heading to the door. “Maybe I’ll see you again at the….”

If eyes could physically shoot daggers, JC realized in that moment he would be dead. “Sorry…again. I was just...I’m leaving,” JC stumbled as he opened the door as little as possible and squeezed through the sliver he had created. He entered the hall, closing the door quickly behind him and left. He said goodbye to Stacey as he breezed through the lobby and nearly sprinted to the elevator as he exited the suite. He was supposed to report back to Raina as soon as the meeting was over but he wasn’t even clear on what to say at this moment. He knew he’d be in trouble but needed time to sort through what had just happened. The slow drive back to his house would allow for that.

Colleen took a few moments to collect herself after JC left. She was practically shaking with rage. She finally calmed herself enough to redial Stacey. “Stacey, I’m heading out early today. Let Todd know I’m taking the Reynolds files with me to review over the weekend and I’ll have a contract ready to go first thing Monday morning.” Colleen hung up, gathered the aforementioned files into her attaché case and headed out the door.

While the traffic impeded her speed to get there, Colleen still found herself parked in front of the familiar Thai restaurant on Robertson before she knew it. She double checked her surroundings and made sure no one was watching before dashing down the alleyway to the unmarked door. She knocked quickly then secreted herself in a shadow just in case someone noticed her.

A minute or two went by until the door creaked open. Bruce, the weekday security guard, peered his head out and found Colleen practically plastered against the opposite wall in an attempt to remain unseen. “Hey Colleen, sorry about that. I didn’t realize you were on the schedule today,” he said, holding the door wide for her to enter.

Colleen darted her eyes quickly down both sides of the alley before running through the door. Bruce had seen people do all kinds of things to avoid being spotted over the years but it never failed to amuse him. Once he shut the door, Colleen admitted, “I’m not. I have a bit of a situation. I need to talk to Raina.”

“Raina?” Bruce replied in surprise. Part of his job was knowing who was who’s regular clientele so he immediately knew this was an odd request. “Why don’t you go sit in the lounge a moment. Raina’s finishing up a session; I’ll let her know you are looking for her.” Colleen hesitated. “No one’s in there,” Bruce reassured her and gently guided her down the hall. 

They both entered the lounge and Bruce continued to the back door and into the inner sanctum while Colleen made herself a drink. As she filled her glass, she suddenly flashed back to filling two. She turned and looked at the mustard yellow armchair that faced her way and could see the memory of JC sitting there plain as day. Clad all in black, his graying hair standing out against his outfit, talking to Miss Jacky with concern on his face, his small smile as she handed him his drink, his soft blue curious eyes…

“Fuck!” Colleen exclaimed, trying hard not to throw her glass in some melodramatic show of frustration. She also knew she’d be made to clean it up anyway so what was the point? Instead she opted to down the contents of the glass quickly down her throat, poured another healthy amount of straight liquor into said glass and shot that as well. She never thought JC was lying to her but she wasn’t ready to admit that his account was true. She spent so much of the car ride there convincing herself he just had to be mistaken but it was irrefutable now.

The back door opened and Miss Jacky rushed over, the worry written all over her face. “Leena, honey, are you ok?”

“Not really, Miss Jacky,” Colleen admitted. “I need to speak to Raina.”

“Bruce said. I’m sorry to interfere but obviously something has happened I’m not aware of and if it affects relationships here, I need to know.”

Colleen let out a long sigh. “She sent JC to my work.” Miss Jacky looked at her puzzled. “Josh,” she clarified, finding it odd to refer to him as such but now remembering that’s what Miss Jacky called him.

Miss Jacky gasped at the realization, her hand instinctively covering her mouth. “It’s been a while since I’ve reviewed either of your agreements but I feel pretty confident neither of you signed off on activity outside of your home or here.”

“From the sounds of it, JC...I mean Josh, changed his mind on that. He said Raina had texted him my work address and she called my office to set up the meeting on his behalf. To be clear, I did not change the perimeters on my agreement.”

Miss Jacky patted Colleen’s hand, “We will get to the bottom of this, sweetie. Have you talked to Piper yet?”

“No, Miss Jacky. I’m...I’m worried she helped facilitate this and I...I can only handle one giant breach of trust at a time,” Colleen admitted.

The thought hadn’t crossed Miss Jacky’s mind but now that it had, she was furious. She built the reputation of the club on the back of privacy, discretion and anonymity. The times people found out never came from her employees but rather the clients own slips or the occasional private investigator. To think these veterans had done something this potentially devastating to this young woman, a lawyer no less who could surely figure out a way to quietly sue the pants off of her, had her livid.

Miss Jacky grabbed Colleen’s hand and marched her through the back door and farther down the hall than she had ever been. Miss Jacky opened a door at the end and lead Colleen into a nice sized office. “Wait here, sweetie,” Miss Jacky politely told her before going back out into the hall and shutting the door behind her. Colleen practically jumped when she heard Miss Jacky shouting “Raina! Piper! My office! NOW!”

Colleen took a moment to look around the office as she waited. A large feathered fan was centered behind Miss Jacky’s cluttered desk. A coat rack of assorted robes stood on one side while more were thrown across a chaise lounge that fit against a nook in the wall. Between the two was a dressing screen with rich colored flowers intertwined with various “tools of the trade” painted upon it. Colleen stepped closer to inspect and could clearly see the brushstrokes of the piece, imagining this had to have been a custom job.

The door reopened as Miss Jacky walked in with Raina in tow behind her. Even with a robe covering her catsuit, Raina was still a commanding presence in the room. Under normal circumstances within these walls, Colleen would feel intimidated. Not today, not after what she did.

“Leena,” Raina addressed her. “Joshua told me you returned my gift unopened. That’s a shame, he’s quite the present with or without the wrapping.”

Colleen looked at Raina incredulously. “What the fuck does that even mean?! What...what kind of present is sending one of your slaves to where I work without my consent? Especially someone...so famous. You put the both of us in danger and at bare minimum, I deserve an explanation and an apology.”

Before Raina could respond, a voice came rushing from the hallway into the room. 

“What the hell is going on?!” Mistress Piper asked, pulling her own dark grey plush robe over her outfit.

Colleen looked over at Mistress Piper and instantly felt the fight start to leave her. Any other time, it was amazing to literally leave her troubles at the door and relax in her presence but that conditioning was working against her today.

“Leena?” Mistress Piper questioned, surveying the room and trying to catch up. “What’s wrong?”

Colleen was now struggling to find the words so Raina decided to interject. “I tried to help her out and now she’s pissed about it.” Once again, Colleen looked at Raina in disbelief.

“Help her out how?” Mistress Piper questioned. 

“By giving her what she’s always wanted,” Raina stated simply, as if that explained her actions.

“That’s enough!” Miss Jacky yelled. “Cut the fucking act and talk like a human being. Tell me what the hell happened right now!”

Colleen had never seen Miss Jacky mad and by the looks on Raina & Mistress Piper’s faces, it appeared to be a rarity. Raina let down the tough, in-charge, dominatrix exterior and simply spoke.

“I knew something had happened when JC came in the time before last and flipped out at me. Now I know why and I wanted to try to help him. He needs someone he can be every part of himself with and I knew Leena liked him so, honestly, I was just trying to play matchmaker.”

Now all 3 other women in the room were staring at Raina in confusion. “What exactly did you do?” Mistress Piper finally asked.

“I sent JC to Leena’s office to meet her. I knew he’d eventually put it together that he saw her before but didn’t think he’d be as shocked and blatant as he was. He’s really good at discretion normally, I didn’t think it would blow up like this.”

Mistress Piper’s face grew red. “You fucking sent him there without telling me?! I know we’ve talked about getting them together but here, for a session. I cannot believe you went behind my back and had him meet her at her work. What the hell is wrong with you?!”

“So sorry that I thought them meeting while she still had a brain in her head made more sense!” Raina fired back. “Professional lawyer who’s got her shit together is a better impression than air-headed bubblegum princess.”

“If they already met a few days ago, then it’s the second impression anyway, you idiot!” Mistress Piper yelled.

“STOP IT!” Colleen finally screamed, all eyes instantly turning towards her and mouths falling silent. “There is a lot of information that’s getting thrown around that I’m just not understanding.”

“You and me both,” Miss Jacky agreed, her arms folding across her chest.

“You’re right,” Mistress Piper said, trying to calm herself down. “Ask whatever you want to know.”

Colleen wasn’t even sure where to start anymore. “How...how long has JC been a client here?”

Raina & Mistress Piper glanced at each other before turning to Miss Jacky. “Oh no, you brought this on yourself. Answer her.”

“Regularly on and off for about 20 years,” Raina told her.

Colleen looked stunned. From what she imagined of JC from all the rumors she had heard over the years about his sex life, knowing he frequented a sex club wasn’t the most shocking news but finding out his submissive side was so pronounced as to have a Mistress was a lot for Colleen to wrap her brain around.

“He’s been here the whole time I have?” Colleen asked, barely above a whisper.

Mistress Piper walked over to Colleen. “You know I couldn’t tell you. I thought it innocent enough to ask what celebrity you liked to work into some of your training but didn’t think you’d say someone who actually came here. Raina and I made sure you two were never scheduled at the same time so you wouldn’t accidentally run into each other. I didn’t know JC was here the other night until after the fact.”

“I wouldn’t have said anything,” Colleen tried to reassure her.

“We know that but he doesn’t,” Raina chimed in. “Believe it or not, he’s a tough guy to convince of anything. You gotta be a little manipulative with him.”

“I still just don’t understand why you wanted him to meet me?” Colleen questioned again.

Raina and Mistress Piper exchanged looks once more before Raina spoke up. “I admit I don’t know you that well but I know JC and I trust Piper’s judgement. You are the type of woman he needs in his life. Someone supportive but also knows how to support herself, someone who shares his interests and can celebrate them, not shy away or judge or exploit.”

“It sounds like you are basing this off the fact that I have a good job and we both have weird kink fetishes,” Colleen replied.

“It’s as good as any place to start,” Raina shrugged.

“Look,” Mistress Piper started before Colleen could reply. “The whole point of this business is to give people their fantasies and when you said you liked JC, we both wanted to make that happen at some point. Someone,” Mistress Piper said exaggeratedly while looking Raina squarely in the face, “took it upon themselves to do that outside the safety of this club and without anyone actually agreeing to it.”

“A very large violation,” Miss Jacky chimed in from across the room.

“You both realize I don’t actually know JC, right?” Colleen reminded them. “He’s just a guy who has a great voice who’s poster hung on my wall when I was younger. Yes, he’s good looking, yes I’ve imagined going on a date with him or fucking him but I’ve never met the man. The JC I know is based in as much fact as I have but the rest is total speculation and wishful thinking.”

“Do you want to meet him?” Mistress Piper questioned, “or do you want to just keep him a fantasy?”

“I don’t really have a choice anymore.”

“You always have a choice,” Mistress Piper reassured her. “JC doesn’t know how you feel. Wait, does he?” she asked, turning to Raina who shook her head in response. “There, so it was just one brief meeting. A terrible misunderstanding you both could hopefully overlook if that’s what you wanted to do” Mistress Piper paused for a moment. “If you wanted me to, you know I could…”

“No, please,” Colleen stopped her. “I honestly don’t know what I want right now. I really just need some time to think.”

Raina pulled out a slip of paper and handed it to Colleen. “This is JC’s number. If you want to contact him, you can. If you don’t, that’s fine too. I’m officially taking a step back from all of this.”

“You have got to be kidding me?!” Miss Jacky shouted, walking over. “You can’t just give out a client’s personal information.”

“He said it was fine,” Raina retorted.

Miss Jacky scoffed, “No, I know exactly how that went. You told him you were going to give it to Leena and he agreed.” Miss Jacky turned to Colleen and held out her hand. “I’m sorry, sweetie, but you know I can’t let you keep that.”

“That seems a little hypocritical considering everything,” Mistress Piper countered.

“You’re right, it is,” Miss Jacky agreed, “but I’m ending this situation before it goes any further and more people end up hurt and further violated.” Miss Jacky turned back to Colleen and opened and closed her palm several times indicating for her to hand the paper over.

Colleen hesitated only a moment, letting her imagination run away with the idea of being able to contact her long standing crush and all the interesting scenarios it could lead to. However, as much as Mistress Piper was correct, two wrongs weren’t going to make a right and she acquiesced the precious information.

“Thank you, dear,” Miss Jacky said sweetly. She then turned to Raina. “You,” she pointed, “are suspended for two weeks without pay. Turn over your work phone, gather your things and get out.”

“I have a client coming in an hour!” Raina protested.

“I’ll tell them you got sick and they can reschedule.” Miss Jacky stared down Raina, practically daring her to speak up again. Raina stared back at the older woman yet relented. She made a choice and was going to take the consequences. Raina turned and started to leave the room but Miss Jacky called after her. “To be clear, you are to have no contact with any of your clients whatsoever, especially Josh. When you get back, we are going to have a long talk about your future employment here.” Raina nodded tersely and left.

Both Miss Jacky and Mistress Piper turned their attention back to Colleen. “What else can we do?” Mistress Piper asked.

“I don’t know,” Colleen told them, putting her head in her hands and trying very hard not to cry. “I feel so humiliated. It’s bad enough someone finding out but JC Chasez, of all people.”

“He also happens to be someone who will completely understand how you are feeling and certainly isn’t going to make assumptions about you,” Mistress Piper tried to reassure her. “I have a few hours before my next client. Do you want to come back and relax for a bit?”

“Free of charge, of course,” Miss Jacky quickly added.

Colleen sat for several moments. She didn’t want to disappoint Mistress Piper but she also didn’t see how any sort of relaxation would be happening. Mistress Piper could sense her inner conflict. “Just be honest, it’s ok,” she told her.

“I’m sorry, Mistress. I’m just not in the right place for that now,” Colleen told her. “Thank you both so much for the generous offer though.”

“Of course,” Mistress Piper smiled at her. “You let me know when you are or if you just need to talk.”

“Same here, sweet pea,” Miss Jacky told her, giving her hand a tight squeeze.

Colleen gave them both a weak smile. “Thank you, I just...I have a lot I need to think about.”

“Take as much time as you need,” Mistress Piper reassured her.

Colleen thanked them both again as she gathered herself together and headed out. She didn’t know what she had expected to happen but she somehow still felt in shock as she left. So many different and conflicting emotions were happening within her and she wasn’t even sure how to start sorting them out.

Bruce was at the door once again as she headed to the exit. “Hey,” he said, “I ordered you some red chicken curry and two summer rolls to go up front. When I’m upset, food always helps.” Bruce patted his stomach and gave Colleen a big smile.

Colleen threw her arms around Bruce and clung to him in appreciation. She wasn’t always the biggest hugger but this act of kindness was beyond needed. “Thank you,” she mumbled into his neck. Bruce hugged her in return, rubbing and patting her back to comfort her.

“Come on, your food’s gonna get cold,” Bruce told her, letting her go. Colleen wiped a tear away and thanked him once more before leaving. She walked up the alleyway, too distracted by her own thoughts to worry about anyone seeing her, picked up her food and got in her car. 

She sat there a few moments, holding the steering wheel but not starting the ignition. She stared out at the expanse of Robertson in front of her. The line of cars crawling by, the tourists mixed with residents window shopping. Not a one with a care in the world as she sat there feeling like hers had imploded.

She’d kept it together for hours but everything she had learned from Raina and Mistress Piper was weighing down on her too much that she finally allowed herself to break down and cry. The scream of frustration, anger and sadness left Colleen’s throat so violently, she thought she might physically vomit. Tears streamed down her face as she pounded the steering wheel repeatedly. 

Only a few hours earlier, her life had been perfect. She was the youngest woman to make junior partner at her firm and a practical shoo in for L.A.‘s 40 Under 40 feature when it ran in a few months. She had her friends from her morning Pilates class and her group for late night drinks and mingling. She was well liked as far as she knew and even though it had been a while since her last serious relationship, she didn’t have trouble finding a date when she felt like having one.

Now it felt like it had all gone to shit. Her one secret blown wide open. She knew before even venturing to the club the risk she was taking but figured she could talk her way out of the situation if any rumors came up. She was a lawyer, after all, she knew how to be convincing. Besides, her at a sex club dressed like some porn star fantasy and acting like every stereotype of a bimbo that existed...no one would buy it.

Colleen had yet to find a partner who didn’t label her as “weird” for her fantasies. She knew that was a large part of why she found herself single; she got tired of feeling ridiculed and judged for her desires so she separated the two. It was a temporary solution but one that had been working perfectly fine.

Now these women were suddenly telling her that not only was there a guy who would understand her but he was literally the man of her dreams?! It was too absurd to be real. She fell hard for JC the moment she laid eyes on him as a teen and her feelings toward him barely relented over the years. Her childhood room was plastered with pictures of him. He was the person she thought of the first time she had an orgasm. Once he went solo, she saw him perform four times in a week over her spring break.

That had been over a decade ago and while they both had grown, her infatuation with him hadn’t faded. She’d keep her ear to the ground for any news about him. She frequented restaurants and bars he was reported to have been to. She switched her gym to one he had been seen at several times. She went to Matt Morrison’s and Tony Lucca’s area shows in hopes he would show up. She just wanted to meet him, just once. See if he was everything she imagined in real life.

Now she finally had, handed to her on a silver platter no less. She had stared at her calendar for hours last night, sure someone was playing a trick on her. All those years of looking for him and he came to her. She had done her best acting with him, not letting it show for a second that she had wanted to jump him the second she shut the door to her office. She knew JC always liked a confident, intelligent woman and she was that. Yet now here she was, realizing in the end this really was just a cruel joke after all.

A few quick raps at her passenger side window startled Colleen out of her thoughts and she hurriedly brushed as many tears off her face as possible. She turned and saw Raina’s face staring back at her, freshly washed and free of her usual make up. As Colleen registered the change, she also saw Raina’s long hair pulled up in a messy bun, the large duffel bag she had slung over her shoulder and the light grey hoodie and matching joggers she wore. It was like seeing Mickey Mouse take his head off to reveal the teenager underneath.

Colleen rolled down her window and practically wailed, “What? What is it? Why the hell do you insist on torturing me today?!”

Raina appeared to be taken aback by Colleen’s outburst but persisted nonetheless. “Be mad, that’s fine, but I honestly was trying to help.” Raina tossed a paper into the Thai food bag in the front seat. “Call him, trust me.”

Colleen stared down at the bag then back up at Raina. “Don’t you get it? You don’t care about helping me, you only care about helping him with what his situation is. I’m just apparently a convenient means to an end.”

“Maybe so,” Raina confessed, “but I wouldn’t set him up with someone I didn’t feel would be good for him and he in turn for them.” Colleen still looked nonplussed at her so she finally pleaded, “I am risking my entire career on this. He deserves some happiness in his life and I believe that you do too.”

Colleen wasn’t even sure how to take that last comment. “You’re making it sound like I’m supposed to be his savior. That’s a lot of pressure you’re pre-imposing on me.”

“I’m just asking for you to give him a chance,” Raina said.

“You want me to give him a chance?” Colleen asked before erupting into a fit of laughter, the irony of the whole thing truly hitting her. “I’ve been trying to get a chance with him for over two decades now and this...THIS is how it happens.” Colleen was certainly happy to no longer be crying about the situation but this comedy of errors was getting too out of hand to be real anymore. Colleen just had to wake up from this nightmare any moment now.

Raina just smiled softly back at her and said, “The path to our dreams never looks the way we imagined it but, if we are lucky, we always find a way to get there.” With that, she stood up and walked away. 

Colleen watched her go and when she was out of sight, she reached in the bag and pulled out the paper Raina had left her. She opened it to reveal it simply showed a telephone number: 213-555-3748. Colleen shook her head, folded the paper back up, slipped it in her purse and started her car to head home, cranking up the radio to temporarily block out her thoughts.

Colleen twirled the piece of paper around and around as she ate her chicken curry at her kitchen table. A friend had texted to see what time she should pick her up tonight, to which Colleen quickly lied and said she was stuck late at work and had to cancel. After the day she had, not only had she completely forgotten about her plans but she was in no place to go out and act like everything was fine.

At this point, even if she lost the paper, the number was etched in her brain. Colleen’s mind wandered through a number of fantasies she had concocted about JC over the years, him picking her out of a crowd at a show or dancing with him at some club, even just running into him at The Grove. No matter the set up, the outcome was always the same: instant chemistry, mind-blowing sex. Yet never once did she think they’d meet because they both frequented the same kink establishment. That was definitely not how the meet cute was supposed to happen.

Sure, she’d imagined countless times JC being the person she could confide her deviant thoughts to. He’d listen with his undivided attention, his curiosity turning into eagerness, wanting to learn every little facet of what turned her on so he could please her in every way she craved. When she’d finish explaining, he’d kiss her hard and pull her onto his lap, his hands running over her back, pressing her body against his. He’d finally break the kiss, his breath heavy and his lips pink and say “Let’s start right now,” as a wicked smile broke out across his face. His hand would snake into her hair to hold her firm as he stared up at her, his blue eyes dark as the ocean with lust, boring into her, letting her know she should just give up control because he was going to take it.

“Jesus, get it together, Colleen” she said out loud to herself as she came back from her daydream. She cleaned up her dinner and headed to her bedroom to finally change out of her work clothes. She pulled down what remained of her bun and chucked her blouse and skirt over a chair to be dealt with tomorrow. She reached into her dresser and found a matching set of blue pj shorts and top to slip into. Finally, she allowed herself to flop on the bed in utter exhaustion.

After some time, she crawled her way up the bed and sat with her back propped up against her pillows. She opened her phone and stared at her home screen, debating on what icon to click. She checked her email, scrolled through Twitter, Instagram and Tik-Tok, caught up on the evening news and used up her Candy Crush lives all in an effort to not do the thing she desperately wanted to do: contact JC.

What would she even say? “Hey, sorry for earlier but finding out my life long crush is a submissive kinkster kinda threw me for a loop. Coffee?” Colleen dropped the phone on the bed and slouched down, considering yet again how to handle this predicament.

Suddenly, a realization came to Colleen that made her sit bolt upright. If JC was submissive and she was submissive, how the hell was this even supposed to work?! “Stupid Raina!” Colleen screamed in frustration, getting up and marching back to the kitchen. This called for ice cream.

“Ok,” Colleen thought to herself as she dug into some Cookies and Cream, “I’m a confident woman, JC likes confident women. I know how to be aggressive in bed and with him I certainly wouldn’t mind. Maybe he can play switch every so often?”

Colleen sighed as she took another bite. One thing she had learned the hard way was if she didn’t have the sexual satisfaction she craved in her relationship, it would never work out. After witnessing a good sampling of JC’s girlfriends over the years, she guessed he was in the same boat. Colleen was long past setting aside her needs for the sake of someone else, even if that person was JC Chasez.

As she moved to put the ice cream back in the freezer, Colleen came to the conclusion that one of three things needed to happen. She either needed to fuck JC, have a long discussion with him about exactly what either of them was looking for, or simply not talk to him and pretend this never happened. 

Option three was off the table immediately. There was absolutely no way she wasn’t going to contact him. How to approach it was the real question. There was so much weight and expectation to the whole thing. It wasn’t like meeting some guy at a bar and not knowing anything about him. Colleen knew so much about JC, or so she thought before today.

Colleen realized that was the sticking point as she headed back to her bedroom once more. She could try to act like JC was just like any other guy but it would be useless. Perhaps the call was to lean into it and use that knowledge to her advantage.

With that mindset, Colleen climbed back on her bed and grabbed her phone. She opened the message icon and selected to create a new entry, then shut her eyes and gave herself a quick pep talk before continuing. “Assertive but don’t scare him. Think before you type but don’t lie. No matter how this turns out, at least you are finally having this conversation with someone who hopefully won’t judge you. Don’t consider it a failure if you don’t get to fuck him, you are gonna learn way more than you ever expected to.” Colleen breathed, opened her eyes and began typing.

JC was finishing up a top coat on his nails when his phone chimed. It wasn’t the tone for Mistress Raina so he knew it could wait a few minutes until the polish dried. He hadn’t talked to her since he had gotten out of the downtown gridlock and called her on the more relaxed part of the drive. She was mad he hadn’t phoned immediately and even more angry about how the meeting had gone once JC told her the details. She said she’d call him later but so far that hadn’t happened.

He still wasn’t sure how he’d fucked up. Wasn’t the whole point to meet this woman because she was a member of the club? He had never talked to someone who he hadn’t brought with him about their experience and JC thought it might have been interesting to compare stories.

JC had been thinking about Colleen on and off since he left her office. He was still amazed that she was the same person he’d seen only a few nights earlier. If she hadn’t admitted it was her, he would have absolutely believed he had encountered twin sisters. The duality of each interaction was strikingly opposite. Then again, he was a much different person when he spent time with Mistress Raina than in his day to day life.

The top coat had solidified enough that JC could grab his phone and check the text that had come in.

Hey JC, it’s Colleen. Raina gave me your number. I hope it’s ok to contact you.

“Holy shit,” JC thought in surprise at the message. He knew Mistress Raina was giving her his number but after her reaction earlier, he didn’t actually think she’d contact him. He quickly typed back.

Hey Colleen, totally cool. 

Colleen’s phone buzzed and she said a quick prayer that it was JC. She looked and vowed to go to church on Sunday in appreciation.

C: I wanted to apologize for earlier. Definitely not where I thought the meeting would be going.

J: Me neither. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot.

C: You didn’t know. I talked to Raina, she divulged at least a bit of her “master plan” lol.

J: Oh? Then you know way more than she’s told me.

C: Oops, well then, probably shouldn’t step on Mistress’s toes.

J: Yeah, she probably wouldn’t like that.

“Shit, this is harder than I thought,” Colleen cursed at herself. Since she actually didn’t know JC, interpreting his tone through text made it tough to tell if that was a joke or not.

C: Well, she wanted us to talk, right? So I suppose if it came up in conversation, that wouldn’t be a problem.

J: Hmmm, I suppose you are right.

JC smiled as he typed his last message. It was a welcome change to have someone to talk to so casually about this part of his life. Everyone he’d ever spoken about it with dismissed it and changed the subject or questioned his motives.

C: Well, let’s just keep the awkward going by asking how you ended up at this Bordello of Sin.

J: LOL Pretty sure that was the original name of it. Some friends and I went there a long time ago as just something different to do. I’ll admit, it was my idea but no way in hell I was going by myself so I roped them into it. They weren’t so keen on it after but I was hooked so I’ve been going back off and on ever since.

C: No no no, you don’t get to give me a vague origin story and fast forward 20 years. 

J: How’d you know it had been that long?

C: I told you, I got Raina to reveal a few of her secrets.

J: You must be a very persuasive woman. She’s not easily swayed.

C: A necessary skill as a lawyer that comes in handy from time to time. So what made you want to go there in the first place?

J: It was just kind of a curiosity really. The band was huge at the time and girls were literally throwing themselves at us. I’m probably an asshole for saying this but it was too easy. I’m not a guy for a quick lay. I just wanted something different, more intense, I guess.

“It wouldn’t have been quick with me,” Colleen mused to herself before responding.

C: So was it just a desire for variety or something you had been interested in previously?

J: Both I suppose. I got an excuse to go so I took advantage of it.

C: So what do you and Mistress Raina do while you’re there?

“Whoa,” JC said out loud, his eyes going wide at the text. He’d been surprised at how easy the conversation flowed with Colleen given the subject matter and while he wanted to continue, he wasn’t quite ready to share that intimately yet.

J: Oh no, not fair. You have to share as well.

C: Mine’s not very exciting. My job is stressful and I need to unwind from time to time. I’ve tried yoga, meditation, therapy, weekend spiritual retreats, none of it really helped for long. I was out at a club one night with some girlfriends and overheard some guy talking about Mistress Piper and how much more relaxed he felt after seeing her so I did some research and here we are.

J: That sounds like a vague origin story and a time jump to present to me.

Colleen stuck her tongue out at the phone.

C: Ok fine. It is that but sometimes it’s like my brain needs to power off for a bit so I can recharge.

J: Not being condescending but isn’t that what a good night’s sleep is for?

C: Sure, when you can get one. That’s not particularly easy for me without Mistress Piper’s help. Since seeing her I’ve had a lot more restful nights.

J: So it’s more of a self-care thing than a sex thing?

C: It’s a bit of both, if I’m being honest. 

J: I’m glad you like Piper. A friend of mine had a session with her and really did not enjoy the experience. Good to hear it was just him.

JC quickly flashed back to the late night hours after his first visit. “I’m telling you, C. She did something to me! She like, fucked with my mind or something. I never would have….”

C: She’s definitely an aquired taste but if that’s the flavor you’ve been searching for, it’s the best meal you’ve ever had.

J: Wow, that’s a good line!

C: Feel free to borrow it but if it ends up in a song, I want a writing credit.

J: Of course! I wouldn’t dare screw over an attorney.

“Would you just straight up screw the attorney though?” Colleen wondered. “Don’t push him and show your hand too early. Play the long game.”

C: Well JC, I hate to do this to you but I for one have been through the wringer today and should get to bed.

J: Yeah, of course. You gonna be able to sleep ok?

C: Honestly not sure. Hoping the roller coaster of emotions will just allow me to pass out for a few hours from sheer exhaustion. Thanks for asking though.

J: Still so sorry about that.

C: Still not your fault. Maybe we could continue this conversation another time? It’s weird but nice to talk about this with someone.

J: Yeah, of course. Feel free anytime.

C: Same goes for you. Goodnight JC.

J: Goodnight Colleen, sweet dreams.

Colleen stared at her phone as JC’s last message came in and shrieked with delight over his response. She absolutely did not want to stop talking to him and could have carried on the conversation for hours but didn’t want to risk overstepping or oversharing on the first go around. JC was worth the wait.

She really was feeling tired from the events of the day and nestled into bed, rereading her conversation with JC. She saw where she went wrong with asking him directly about his time with Raina and made a mental note to be more subtle next time. She tried to run through the catalogue of memories in her brain to see if anything came close but settled on the fact that today had been the absolute strangest day of her life. Colleen still wasn’t convinced she wouldn’t wake up and have it be Friday again but as she read over the text thread for about the eighth time, sleep finally claimed her for the night with JC’s wishes for sweet dreams on her mind.

JC plugged in his phone to charge and headed to his studio. It had been a weird day and he just wanted to play around on his guitar. He still hadn’t heard from Mistress Raina and while he enjoyed his conversation with Colleen, he was a little relieved when she called it an early night as he didn’t want to accidentally say the wrong thing again. She seemed nice enough but there was definitely something she wasn’t telling him. He didn’t hold it against her given he was holding back some things himself, but he was definitely interested in finding out.

While Colleen did get a good night’s sleep, JC was up until 2:30am trying to turn his thoughts into some sort of melody but to no avail. Frustrated, he finally went to bed and didn’t wake up until after 10am the next day, a rarity for him to sleep that late no matter what time his head hit the pillow. After making his coffee, he went back in the studio to try to pick up where he had left off.

He hadn’t written anything in nearly a year at this point so he wasn’t exactly surprised it was a struggle but it was aggravating nonetheless. He wanted to write about how he was feeling but since he was so confused about how he was feeling, it was coming out very disjointed. He tried to pivot to work on his set aside musical but spent most of the time just refamiliarizing himself with it that no work really got done.

The growl of JC’s stomach made him finally look at the clock to see it was just passing 6:30pm. With a sigh, JC closed up the studio for the day and headed toward his fridge. “Dammit, I need to go shopping,” he muttered to himself as he surveyed the bare contents. He grabbed a yogurt to tide him over as he wrote a fast list on his phone and headed out the door.

Halfway to the store, JC’s stomach told him waiting much longer wasn’t going to be an option so he changed direction at the next light and headed toward his favorite sushi joint. It sat just off the beach and with the temperature cool and the sunset coming soon, it would be a great spot to unwind. It also would have been a great spot for some company.

JC went through a mental rolodex in his brain of who to call. Lance was probably headed to Rocco’s, he didn’t know if Justin was in town, Autumn was busy on a shoot. He quickly tried Kevin but he got voicemail. He tossed the phone on the passenger seat and sighed. He knew he wasn’t alone in the world but he hated the moments he felt like he was.

Then he remembered the one person he should call. It would be too soon though, wouldn’t it? JC bit his lip, debating. He sat at the light toward the beaches and decided to throw caution to the wind as he grabbed his phone and hit talk to text.

Hey, I know this is crazy last minute but would you like to join me for some sushi? I’m starving and could really use the company.

Colleen glanced up from her files at her phone as it buzzed and practically fell out of her chair as JC’s message lit up. It was happening! JC had not only texted back but was now asking her on a date?! She wanted to run around and scream with joy but knew she had to pull herself together to respond.

Sure, I’ve been working the past few hours and could use the break. Where at?

As soon as it was sent, Colleen threw open her closet and quickly pulled out a few outfit choices. She guessed there would be no time for another shower so she plugged in her curling iron in case she needed it.

JC’s radio cut off as the text from Colleen came in over the sound system. He smiled at the casualness of her response, making him feel like he’d made the right choice.

It’s called Ryu’s off Manhattan bitch. Not sure how close that is to you so cool if it’s too far.

Colleen laughed out loud at JC’s misspelling. She quickly googled the restaurant to get an idea of the atmosphere. “Fuck, this is romantic,” she thought as she swiped through the gallery. She looked over the clothes she had pulled out and elected a light yellow plaid sundress with spaghetti straps and an asymmetrical cut that would flow nicely in the breeze and not come off too formal. She found some neutral wedges, a white jacket to keep warm and dug out a wicker style handbag to complete the look.

It’s not too far. Can you give me about 30?

The response came through to JC as he was turning on the street headed to the restaurant. His stomach decided to remind him once more just how hungry he was and he gave it a swat. “Shut up, you. I’m getting there.”

That sounds great. I’ll get a table in the meantime. 

Shit, was he already there?! Colleen didn’t have time to spare as she put a few soft beach waves in her hair and applied the barest amount of eyeliner and eye shadow and grabbed a handful of lipsticks she’d sort out on the way over.

Thanks. Heading out the door now. See you soon.

Colleen bounded out of the house and into her car. So far, every interaction with JC was far removed from what she had ever anticipated. It was exciting but she kept having to recalibrate at every turn. She wanted to be who he wanted her to be but also wanted to still be herself. Colleen wasn’t sure yet if or where those two intersected but was hoping they did more than just their general common kink interest.

God was on Colleen’s side that night as she breezed through nearly every light as she drove. She pulled into the parking lot and recognized JC’s Rubicon instantly and parked as close to it as possible. She still wasn’t sure this was actually happening and didn’t know how to test out if she was actually in a coma for a brain injury because nothing seemed real anymore. Colleen pulled out a light pink lipgloss that she quickly applied and exited her car, wondering what other unfathomable interaction awaited her.

JC was keeping an eye on the door so he saw Colleen as soon as she entered. “Wow,” he mouthed to himself as he waved his hand to get her attention. This was by far the most casual he had seen her and he wasn’t sure if this was closer to who she truly was or she was just a chameleon to her environment.

Colleen’s smile beamed bright at JC as she walked over to meet him. He stood up to greet her. “Well, I feel severely underdressed,” JC joked as he showed off his canvas sneakers, dark jeans, black long sleeve t-shirt & bright blue baseball cap. 

“You look perfectly fine,” Colleen reassured him. “Thank you for the invite.”

“Thank you for accepting.” They both took their seats as JC continued. “I would have ordered you a drink but I realized I wasn’t sure what to get you.”

“Oh, that’s fine,” Colleen told him. “I appreciate you waiting for me. I got really lucky with the traffic to make it as fast as I did.”

“Well, if I’m being honest, I’ve already had two shrimp egg rolls,” JC admitted sheepishly. “I really was starving.”

Colleen laughed and forgave him as she perused the menu. Within a few moments, they were ordered and JC was asking her all the typical first date, getting to know you questions. She grew up in Carson City, Nevada with a dentist for a mom and a college professor for a dad. Her brother Vincenzo was 7 years her junior and was a coach at a camp teaching kids to ride dirt bikes after having made a decent go of a professional career on the circuit. She went to the college her father taught at for undergrad and got accepted to Stanford Law for grad school. Despite graduating in the top ten of her class, it was tough for her to find a job as a lawyer right away. She bided her time as a file clerk for a divorce attorney for a while and was finally promoted after piping up with a solution to a particularly volatile case. From then on, she worked up the ranks and when she had enough credibility, switched to entertainment law as it was far less depressing.

JC shared about his family and upbringing and Colleen did all she could to keep from saying “Yes, I know” with some of his stories. It was so bizarre to have a leisurely conversation with someone that you knew so much about their life already. It was the tidbits she didn’t know that made the conversation for her. He talked about going back and forth to Bowie during his MMC days and how that affected him. He mentioned his move to LA after the show and his intent to “give it a year” to see if he could make it before enrolling in college. “But then, you know, the band,” he joked, whirling his head to indicate that his reason for not going was obvious. He regretted not getting the traditional college experience but knew how privileged he was to have the journey he has had. Even so, he’s been taking online college courses here and there when he sees something worth learning.

“That’s how I ended up with the subject of the musical I’m working on,” he said after a bite of his spicy tuna roll. “I took this amazing course all about Greek tragedies and my writing partner remembered some from his college days and we got to talking and, boom, here we are, trying to do some kind of justice to 7000 year old text.”

“Don’t let anyone ever tell you that you aren’t ambitious,” Colleen pointed out as she grabbed another pot sticker. “I don’t know much about musicals. What’s that process like?”

“Honestly, I don’t either, other than that I enjoy them. We’re just writing songs based off how we think the characters would be feeling at a given moment in the storyline. I had set it aside for a while and actually just picked it back up today. My writing is a bit rusty.”

“Is it finding the words or the tone or the melody or...sorry, I don’t know the first thing about song writing so I apologize if I’m asking really silly questions.”

“No such thing as a silly question,” JC smiled at her. “The process of every song is unique but in this case, I’m having a hard time getting in the headspace of the one character.”

“Am I allowed to ask for more details or are you someone who keeps their art close to the vest until it’s complete?”

JC hesitated. She had read him right; he wasn’t very comfortable sharing his works in progress with anyone he wasn’t collaborating with. He always valued his colleagues input when he asked for it however so maybe Colleen’s perceptive would prove helpful.

“Ok,” JC stated, wiping his mouth with his napkin and returning it to his lap. “So the main character is this guy who’s this very revered war hero so well known by everyone. The character I’m writing for is a woman who lives in an adjoining farmland and sees him all the time coming & going from his adventures but she’s never spoken to him because even though she knows all these things about him, he feels so out of her reach.”

Colleen blinked hard at JC. “And this concept is confusing to you how exactly?”

“I can’t remember the last time I had a crush on someone. I mean, like a long term one. If I’m interested in someone, I might not rush but I’ll eventually do something about it.”

“Hopefully like tonight,” Colleen thought to herself before speaking. “How long has she had this crush on him?”

“A long time, like years and years. He’s been riding by her house since they were teenagers to train. His notoriety catapulted after he got back from war because he led this successful sneak attack against the enemy and the empire expanded due to it. She never knew what to say to him before and now she feels like he’s just unattainable.”

“He’s actually fucking with me at this point,” Colleen was starting to deduce as she studied JC. “So the issue is you don’t know how to write about pining for a love you can’t have? I’m familiar enough with your work to know that’s a lie.”

JC blushed, “Well, thank you but it’s not that exactly. It’s more like, every time I try to write it, I can’t get past why she just doesn’t go talk to him. I know it’s the character and I can’t change it but I don’t understand it.”

“Maybe she’s scared. She’s got this idea of him and meeting him either proves she was right and she’ll fall head over heels for him or he’s nothing like she imagined and her fantasy is ruined. Or worse yet, if he’s amazing and he just doesn’t like her.”

“But then she’d at least know instead of all this wishful thinking.”

“What’s so bad about wishful thinking?”

“Nothing in general but if you can turn that thought into action, at least you tried, right? I’d rather know if the person I had a thing for was the real deal or not.”

Colleen put her chopsticks down and spoke to JC. “Let’s think about it as though it were modern times. Think of your hero as a famous...actor. And she’s a fan from the middle of nowhere. Take away her ability to meet him and what do you have?” JC shrugged so Colleen continued, “You have a girl who took interest in this guy for one reason or another and has watched him and his career grow over the years. As he gets more famous, she learns more about him and she forms this one sided emotional connection because she feels like she knows him now even though he doesn’t know her.”

“So what she knows, she likes and she’s guessing on all the rest? That sounds more like imposing your ideals and aspirations of a partner onto someone based off crumbs of information and finding them attractive.”

“Perhaps a bit but that person is already demonstrating so many of the things you’re looking for, it feels like an easy and logical leap to believe that if it’s proven they do X, they probably do Y.” JC still looked at Colleen quizzically and she let out a loud sigh in response. There was only one way to get this through his head so might as well get it out of the way now before she was in too deep.

“When I was about 9 or so, I saw this boy on my tv and thought he was cute and talented. Soon his picture was in like Tiger Beat or Bop or whatever it was and there would be the silly getting to know you questions that fueled my crush. Fast forward a few years and there I am screaming at his concerts, his posters plastered on my walls. I’m watching every interview and getting to know him as a person. Yes, it’s through a tv or a Rolling Stone article, but I’m connecting all these little nuggets of who he is and I’m liking more and more what I’m discovering.”

“I feel like I have a good guess who you are talking about,” JC smiled slyly.

“Based on how this conversation is going, I can already guarantee you are wrong,” Colleen deadpanned before continuing. “Anyway, college senior year, he released this album that just...it was more adult and deep and vulnerable and aggressive and sexy then anything I’d heard from him before. It resonated with me in this way I can’t describe.”

“Sometimes music just speaks to you, you don’t have to rationalize it,” JC interjected.

“Well, that’s how emotion works too. You fall for who you fall for. Now the music and the interviews and such were so much more personal. I felt like if I met this guy, we’d hit it off and that fueled me through lonely nights and bad breakups.”

“So you have a thing for Jus….I mean, this guy. Ok, I get you can’t just walk up to him and ask him out.”

“Exactly. This guy, who is not Justin Timberlake by the way, has meant a lot to me over the years. He introduced me to so many new artists, he showed me what persistence and passion looked like, he helped me discover my sexuality just by being himself. How do you tell a stranger the vast impact they’ve had on your life without freaking them the hell out?”

“Hmmmm,” JC pondered, sitting back in his chair, his index finger coming to rest on his lips. He thought about the times fans had approached him and told him how much he meant to them. It was always very sweet and well meaning and he was happy to be some part of those memories for them and to pose for a picture. Yet even after so many years as “JC”, he still didn’t comprehend how the sight of himself reduced some grown women to fits of tears. It was the same idea; they thought he was more special than he actually was. The fact was he was just an ordinary guy who lived through a very extraordinary and public experience. 

“Clearly I need to change my mode of thinking about this,” he finally said.

“I get it,” Colleen said, finishing the last sip of her Riesling. “You haven’t been on the other side of it since you were probably a kid. If you start liking some model, you could easily get a hold of her for a date.”

“So did you ever meet him? This not Justin Timberlake singer guy you got the hots for?”

Colleen stifled a laugh, “I did actually, against all odds, it did happen.”

“Did you tell him how you felt?”

“In a roundabout way, yes. Didn’t want to scare him by coming on full force with it.”

“And how’d he react?”

The amusement of the conversation was practically making Colleen’s eyes water. “I’m pretty sure he didn’t get what I was saying. Perhaps for the best so things didn’t turn awkward.”

“Was he everything you hoped for? Like, he lived up to the hype in your head?”

“He vastly exceeded it.”

“That’s really cool. I’m always afraid I’m not gonna be what people expect and like, I don’t know, I don’t want to taint their memories by being just boring me.”

Colleen reached across the table and grabbed JC’s hand. “JC, you don’t have to put on a show for people anymore. People who have been your fans for this long just want you to be you and hopefully see that you’re happy.”

JC smiled at Colleen until it nearly made his eyes twinkle. “You wanna go for a walk?”

“I’d love to,” Colleen smiled back. JC paid the check and the two were out the door shortly.

“You ever gonna tell me who this mystery guy is?” JC asked as they started to leave.

Colleen couldn’t hold her laugh in this time and replied, “I have a feeling you’ll figure it out….eventually.”

JC led Colleen out to the beach front section of the restaurant. She paused to kick off her shoes and grabbed them with one hand as JC helped her down into the sand holding the other. She smiled politely at him but inside was repressing the urge to squee with abandon as his skin finally made contact with her own.

They walked for a few moments in relative silence, him still holding her hand and making sure she didn’t fall due to the unevenness of the ground. Colleen couldn’t figure out if he was just being courteous or this was a move but either way she’d be masterbating with that hand tonight just because he touched it.

Once they reached the smoothness of the actual surf, JC piped up. “So...do you think we should talk about…” his voice trailed off, motioning with his hand for her to finish.

“That the guy behind you kept stabbing his sushi with his chopsticks to eat it?”

“Wait, what?!” JC exclaimed and then practically doubled over with laughter. “How did you not mention this at all during dinner?”

“There wasn’t really a place to interject with “Hey, turn around and check out this idiot”.”

JC finished up his fit of giggles. “I feel like we do need to talk about that but not what I meant.”

“Ok, where do you want to start?”

JC looked down at the sand. “That’s just it. I don’t even know what to ask or say. I’ve never had this conversation with someone that I don’t have to explain every little detail to.”

“No offense but shouldn’t the fact you can skip over parts make this easier?”

“You’d think but weirdly no. Plus,” JC hesitated, “I still haven’t heard back from Mistress Raina so I’m not even sure we should be doing this.”

“Oh shit, that’s right!” Colleen reacted. “Uh, I hate to tell you this but Raina got suspended for two weeks for sending you to my office without my knowing. You won’t be hearing from her for a bit.”

JC’s mouth hung open for a moment before releasing Colleen’s hand and beginning to pace back and forth in the sand. “Fuck!” he shouted into the salty air.

“Hey, JC, you aren’t blaming yourself for this, are you?” Colleen quickly questioned him.

“I mean, how can I not? I came to her with this sob story and she tried to help me out and I fucked it all up.”

Colleen walked over to JC. “You didn’t fuck up at all, she did.” JC’s eyes narrowed and Colleen called him out on it. “I get it, you trust her and her judgment implicitly but can you try to remove yourself from the situation for just a moment and realize, however well meaning on her end, that she found my personal information and gave it out to someone without my knowledge or consent? How would you feel if she had someone show up at your door unannounced? What if your writing partner was there? Or even just some friends hanging out? How would you feel when the most private part of your life is suddenly threatened to be exposed?”

JC’s face softened. “I….I’m sorry I put you in that position.”

“You didn’t, she did. You were just….following orders.”

“Still, I feel responsible. I made you upset, I made her upset….”

Colleen grabbed JC by the shoulder and forced him to look at her. “JC, this is not your fault. It is Raina’s and Raina’s alone. I am angry at her, not at you. If I was angry at you, I wouldn’t have contacted you last night or agreed to dinner tonight. Understood?”

JC nodded. This was the first glimpse of the ferocity Colleen had in her that made her such a great lawyer. Her job was literally to convince people that her viewpoint was right. JC almost wanted to see her in action because this side of her was kinda hot.

Colleen let go of JC, satisfied that he had agreed and adjusted her dress. JC piped up, “Is it ok if I ask you what else you and Mistress Raina spoke about? I get I’m probably not supposed to know everything but any insight you can give me I think might help at this point.”

“JC, when it affects your life, you deserve to know all the information. Basically, Raina alluded to some shit that went down previously with you two and now she knew why and wanted to help you out. Apparently she and Mistress Piper have been plotting to play love connection with us for some time, just Raina pulled the trigger without consulting anyone. If she had just asked everyone, this wouldn’t have snowballed like it did.”

“Wait, the two of them wanted us to date?!” JC asked in shocked confusion.

“Ok, well don’t act so appalled by the idea,” Colleen chuckled. “Mistress Piper said the original intent was to get us together at the club for a session. I don’t know if it was for just some play or more than that.” Colleen lied about the last part; she knew perfectly why but figured explaining to JC they knew she wanted to fuck him would not go over well.

“How would that even work?” JC wondered aloud.

“I’ve been trying to figure that out myself,” Colleen admitted. “At the club, I get but actually dating...I don’t know how that would really work, ummmm, intimately.”

JC’s eyes went wide. “Wow, ok,” he got out, feeling a bit awkward Colleen had actually verbalized it. JC wasn’t willing to admit out loud that he’d already thought about it. As he fell asleep the late night before, he had imagined Colleen in her pink latex dress crawling up the bed with that same little smile she had when they first met. He was strapped to the bed, unable to touch her, feeling her tongue lick….

“I mean, not in pornagraphic detail,” Colleen lied, trying to ease some of the panic on JC’s face. “Again, if it’s at the club, we’d be told what to do so I can see that working on some weird level. But in real life? It’s nice to have someone to talk to about all this, even if we both keep tap dancing around actually talking about it, but if we are both more submissive in nature, I’m truly not sure how that would play out. Not that I’m not open to trying to figure it out, mind you,” Colleen added with a small laugh.

Their eyes met as the moonlight shone down on them. “Ok, you’re right, we do keep skirting the issue,” JC admitted. “It’s just, as much as I want to talk about everything, it feels weird to lay out all my dirty secrets to someone I just met.”

“Same, but if it makes you feel any better, I can whip up a standard NDA we can sign and I’ll have it notarized on Monday.”

JC laughed, “No, I don’t think we need to go that far.” The two stood in silence for a moment. “Ok,” JC breathed, “ladies first.”

Colleen narrowed her eyes at JC but smiled nonetheless. “Sexism at work again. We could have just done Rock Paper Scissors,” she chuckled. “Alright, what do you want to know?”

“Why did you say you pay to forget what you do there?” JC quickly asked, the statement having played over and over in his mind since the moment she uttered it.

“Oh, so now we wanna be forward when it’s me on the hook,”Colleen ribbed him. “It’s a complicated answer.”

“Pretty sure neither of us would be going there if our desires were simple,” JC concluded.

“Fair enough. Ok, so, I wasn’t lying. I went there with the intention of helping with my stress but I obviously knew on some level going to a dominatrix was going to have some….sexual implications. But I was desperate for some relief so I took the chance.”

“I’m guessing since you’ve stuck around, it was worth it.”

“Absolutely. When Mistress Piper and I first met, we agreed to 5 sessions only to see how things went and we’d re-evaluate after. From day one, she put me right at ease, just from her demeanor alone and that night I slept better than I had in weeks. Soon I felt comfortable telling her in detail the issues I was having but as the sessions went on, suddenly I was telling her about my desires and fantasies and next thing I knew, the two kind of got intertwined.”

“How so?”

“I’ve always had these, I don’t know, weird ideas that turned me on. I mean, not grotesquely weird; nothing involving kids or animals or bodily fluids.” Colleen quickly stated.

JC laughed, “Yeah, that’s a good line in the sand to establish early.”

Colleen continued, “I mean, so many people have that one thing that turns them on that they know probably shouldn’t because it’s not “traditional” but they can’t really explain it. Shit, that’s pretty much what kink is but I had never put the two together. Mistress Piper got me to finally pinpoint all these things I’ve liked over the years and figure out what it really is.”

The silence hung between them as the waves crept ever closer to their feet. JC didn’t want to pressure her to say more than she was comfortable with but he was completely intrigued to hear what she was going to say next.

“Fuck, you’re right, this is harder,” Colleen exclaimed, covering her face quickly to compose herself. “I don’t think I’ve ever come right out and said it to anyone but her. I’ve tried to start explaining it to guys but I never get very far before they assume either I’m nuts or they actually know what I want without all the information.”

“I don’t want to force you to discuss it if you aren’t…”

“No no no,” Colleen cut him off. “You’re fine. It’s like pulling off a band aid, right? As scary as this is, it’s probably good to put all our shit out on the table before we get further invested.” Colleen was trying hard to convince herself she was right, however. While at the end of the day it was true, she wished she could at least kiss JC before having this conversation in case it went south.

“I like...not thinking. I don’t know how else to explain it. My life is go go go all the time, I have to be on top of every latest law change and procedure and have 15 different solutions to one problem at the drop of a hat. I love my job, don’t get me wrong, but when I have time for myself, I imagine someone else having all the answers.”

“So, you like playing dumb?” JC questioned, trying to understand what exactly Colleen meant.

“No, not exactly. I’m not trying to be a “bimbo”. It’s not like if you’d ask me what 1 plus 1 equals and I say 7. It’s like you asking me that and I just say I don’t know because just the act of thinking is too much. I….want to be told what to think.”

JC stared at Colleen, trying to take all this information in. He understood liking being told what to do but what to think was a bit outside his kink parameters. “Are you saying you want to be like a mindless sex doll?”

“I think, yes? Maybe?” Colleen sheepishly admitted. “I am a woman who likes to be in control of every situation I am in. I’ve literally been taught how to command a room and steer a conversation. I can’t even begin to tell you how freeing it is to be somewhere that allows me to let all my defenses down so that someone else can take the reins for once.”

“That I can relate to,” JC chimed in. “Ok, I’m getting there but I still don’t understand how the not remembering part comes in.”

“It’s not that I don’t remember at all but that it just takes a while to remember. Like a dream that vanished as soon as you wake up in the morning but then a part flashes back to you in the middle of the day. When I get done a session, my full concentration is on getting home safely, then I generally fall right asleep when I get in bed so by morning time, I’m back to my same routine and I don’t have time to process everything that happened until later.”

The breeze had picked up slightly and Colleen rubbed her shoulders to warm up. “I have a jacket in my car,” JC said. “Do you want me to go grab it for you?”

“No, I’m ok. Thank you though,” Colleen replied quietly. The truth was the chill running through her was only partly due to the weather. She had just shared something incredibly intimate with a man she had thought about doing those exact same fantasies with for longer than she could remember, certainly longer than she could even begin to put words to those feelings. The whole experience still seemed surreal and she was trying hard not to focus on the fact that she may have completely blown her one shot with him.

JC watched Colleen as she stared out at the ocean. He didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t even sure how to feel about what she had just said. He certainly didn’t judge her for discovering this part of herself and he definitely understood people not being receptive to such frank and honest discussions about sex. He’d been on the giving end of that talk too many times to know his silence was actually making it worse.

“I wasn’t lying either. I had heard about the club from a friend and he hooked me up with the information. It was an interest but definitely not something I thought I needed, just a good opportunity to try out something different. I wasn’t attached to anybody at the time so I thought it would be just some harmless fun. I definitely underestimated how I’d feel about the experience.”

“How so?” Colleen asked, turning towards him.

“I mean, it’s really kind of the same thing as you, I guess,” JC realized as he spoke. “There were always these fleeting thoughts of different things I thought were hot but that first night with Mistress Raina, it’s like the flood gates opened. I realized this sexual component that had been missing with all my previous girlfriends.”

“Which was?”

“Control. I was famous, they weren’t. Not that I necessarily wanted to date someone famous, I mean that everything was always left for me to decide. Dates revolved around my schedule, when I started making actual money, I was paying for anything remotely fancy. If I wanted to see them, I could just fly them to wherever I was. There wasn’t a balance so when Mistress Raina showed me what it was like to not be the one in control, I fell down the rabbit hole hard.”

“How long did it take you to find the balance?”

JC chuckled and scratched the back of his neck. “Unfortunately I’m the wrong guy to answer that cuz I still haven’t figured it out. At first I was just scared to tell the girls I was with cuz I didn’t know who I could trust to keep my secrets. Then I fell in love and finally confided in someone and when she found someone else, she blabbed it to anyone that would listen.”

Colleen had a theory who JC was talking about but refused to ask. Instead, she made a mental note to see if her firm did any business with L’Oreal on Monday.

“After that, I dated around a lot, or rather slept around. I just wasn’t ready for another serious commitment to someone who might weaponize my fetishes against me again. So I kept it casual. Some girls I told, some I didn’t. I’ve even taken women I was interested in to the club to meet Mistress Raina but it still just seemed like a game to them all. Like they could just play Little Miss Dominatrix once in a while and that would work. It never worked.”

“So, is it like a lifestyle thing for you? Do you want to be….owned?” Colleen asked trepidatiously.

“No, nothing that extreme. It’s definitely just a “bedroom activity”,” JC clarified, complete with air quotes. “I guess what I’m saying is no one has ever taken it seriously. What I like isn’t just for the sake of being weird or different or alt or whatever you want to call it. It’s not for shock value; I’ve come to terms with it just being a part of what makes me me and I just wish I could find someone who would accept that.”

Colleen gave JC a small smile. “I can definitely understand that.” Silence filled the air once more as Colleen debated her next question. JC seemed resistant to share previously what he and Raina do but since she had just opened up to him, she was hoping he might be a little more receptive this time around.

“So what happened in that first meeting that flipped the switch for you?” she asked.

“Mistress Raina and I talked briefly about what I was looking for and I honestly didn’t really know, I just ruled some of the more extreme things out. She gave me a safe word and told me to strip down to my boxers. I did and she led me to the back of the room. She had these...restraints on the wall. She grabbed a wrist and quickly pinned it to the wall. She locked this padded leather cuff around it nice and secure, not too tight but snug for sure. She did the same to the other one and walked away. I had no idea what I was supposed to do so I just stood there for a while. She was doing something on the other side of the room, which I know now was nothing as she was just biding time, so I tugged to see if I could get free. I couldn’t, I could barely move more than a couple inches. Yet I pulled again, then again. The more I struggled, the tighter the cuffs felt, the more I knew this woman was going to do whatever she wanted to me and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. And I wanted it. I wanted her to have that control over me. By the time she came back over to me, I was practically begging her to touch me. She never did that night, except to eventually let me go. She just teased me for what seemed like hours with all the promises of what we could do together, how if I was good, I’d get to worship her next time. It was pretty much all I could think about until I could finally get back there a few months later and she certainly kept her promise.”

Colleen let JC’s story play through her head. Sure, she’d thought a bunch of times about being the one to take the lead and seduce him but never to this extreme. All those times he said in interviews he liked a woman who was confident and aggressive, is this what he was really trying to say?

“Thank you for trusting me with that story,” Colleen told him sincerely.

“I haven’t told it in a long time. It actually felt kinda good to share.” They both smiled at each other, feeling more at ease. “So what do we do now?” JC asked.

“Pretty sure we walk along the beach some more and then kiss under the moonlight,” Colleen tried to deliver as a joke but was a hundred percent honest.

JC’s smile grew bigger at her boldness. “Not really what I meant but that sounds like a pretty good idea.” JC grabbed Colleen’s hand once more as the two started along the beachfront again. “I mean, this is a...unique situation, to say the least. Do we just keep talking or are we supposed to go to the club together or…”

“Do you honestly not know or are you waiting for Raina to tell you?”

“Can the answer be both?” JC asked shyly.

“You know, for someone who claims his kinks are just a “bedroom activity”, you sure do let your Mistress run a good part of your life.”

“It’s been a weird couple days.”

“You don’t say?” Colleen teased sarcastically, tilting her head to the side in mock confusion. “Look, JC, we are doing everything backwards. Normally, you meet the person, you go on a couple dates and when it gets serious enough, you start working in the sexual wants.”

“Which is normally where it all falls apart.”

“Exactly. We are getting the awkward conversation out of the way early and can know straight away if that’s something we, at bare minimum, are cool with. Are you….did I freak you out?”

“No, I’m not freaked out. I’m confused. Kind of intrigued….I don’t know. I’m not trying to put you on the spot but I think I need more information. As I said, my buddy had a session with Piper that did not go well so I’ve just never really trusted her.”

“So that’s where we go from here. Let’s talk more about it. Let’s just say this develops into something; it’s important to understand what each of us likes and why. And if it doesn’t, think of it as practice for the next time we have to have this conversation.”

JC grasped Colleen’s hand a little tighter. “Did I freak you out?”

“No, not at all. You gave me a lot of ideas but definitely not freaked out.”

JC quickly turned in the sand toward Colleen, making her body crash into his as she elicited a small scream of surprise. He held her close as he smiled down at her. “I think we reached the part where we kiss,” JC whispered.

“I believe you are right,” Colleen whispered back. And just like that, the kiss Colleen had imagined nearly every night came to fruition as JC lowered his head for their lips to meet.

Colleen worked hard to restrain her lust and let him take the lead. He was gentle at first, just like any good initial kiss should be. His lips caressed her own, concentrating more on her bottom lip, just slightly sucking at it. Soon she felt his tongue lick over her lip and proceed into her mouth, deepening their kiss.

JC’s one hand found the small of Colleen’s back while the other reached up to smooth away her hair from their faces as it whipped around softly in the breeze. Colleen moaned into JC’s mouth, her hand nearly trembling as it snaked up his arm, slowly grazed his neck and nestled firmly in his curls. She let her fingers play through his hair and felt herself growing wet thinking about tugging at them nice and hard. They felt so soft and right….

Colleen reluctantly slowed down their kiss, knowing if they went much longer, her restraint would completely crumble. JC followed, loosening his grip slightly on her waist and returning to his soft, eager kisses. He eventually pulled back, his smile just as big as previously, the moonlight dancing in his eyes, making them as blue as the ocean they were next to, exactly the color she had imagined the night before. 

“I have to say, I think this was pretty successful for a spur of the moment date,” JC stated.

Words were hard for Colleen at the moment. “Yeah...definitely,” she responded, a bit more breathlessly than she would have liked him to see. “We’re off to a good start.”

JC felt very pleased as they made their way back up the sand to the parking lot. This was definitely not how he’d seen his night going but was rather happy how it had turned out. He felt a little less unburdened from all his troubles over the past few weeks, thankful to feel like something good was happening. He wanted to tread slowly however. He was still trying to recover from his latest breakup and as much as part of him wanted to explore every little facet of Colleen’s body and kinky mind, he knew he wasn’t ready to emotionally invest just yet. He was thankful for the newfound interest and definitely wanted to see where this could be headed.

Colleen threw back on her shoes as they reached the gravel and they both continued to their cars. Once they reached her car, JC grabbed both her hands in his. “Thank you for a very unexpected evening.”

“Likewise,” Colleen smiled back. This time she was the one to step forward and tilt her head upward to kiss him. She intentionally left it light, her lips barely pressing against his, refusing to let herself get carried away. She’d waited this long, she could pace herself.

They both pulled away grinning at each other. “Okay, I’m gonna go,” Colleen finally said with a laugh. “Maybe I’ll give you a call sometime next week? I think my schedule is light on Wednesday thus far.”

“Yeah, please do. I, uh, I’d definitely like to continue our conversation.”

“Me too,” Colleen said with a wink as she got in her car. JC stood there as she backed out of her parking spot and they both waved goodbye as she drove off.

Colleen waited until she made the turn out of the parking lot and onto the street before releasing the ear piercing scream of excitement she had been holding in. She had kissed Joshua Scott Chasez….and it was GOOD! If a semi plowed into her on the 405 on the way home, she honestly would’ve been fine if that kiss was one of the last moments of her life. It was perfect. He was perfect. Life could not get any better than in this moment.

Oh, but it could, Colleen realized as she drove. It wasn’t just the kiss or the evening or even the conversation; it was the hopefulness of something good starting to blossom. She had only ever let her fantasies about JC get so far, a few drinks, some mind blowing sex. She never envisioned an actual future with him. Now though, she didn’t know. It was still so early in but she loved talking to him, she loved the way he made her feel and she knew she could kiss those lips forever.

Colleen let out another scream as she zipped onto the highway and turned on her radio full blast as she rolled her windows down and let her voice ring out.

“But I can feel it take hold, I can feel you take control, Of who I am and all I’ve ever known, Loving you’s the antidote, Golden”

“Damn, that kid is good,” JC thought to himself as he flipped through the radio stations on his way to the not great but open 24/7 supermarket for his long forgotten groceries. He just needed a few staples to tide him over until he could shop properly.

As he roamed the aisles, his mind kept slipping back to his evening with Colleen. When he had first contacted her on his drive, he didn’t even think about it as a date, he just wanted to get to know her a little better. He certainly did though. That conversation on the beach, he was obsessively dissecting it. She had been perfectly forthcoming, which was so refreshing, yet he knew there was more to her fetishes than she let on, or maybe that she even realized yet. JC knew from his own end of things that they had barely scratched the surface and he wanted to learn everything he could. He didn’t have the faintest idea where this could be heading but even if it was solely acting out some of their fantasies together, he was in.

JC went to the self checkout with his few items and was surprised to find he had absentmindedly picked up a bottle of wine. He examined it and saw it was the same Riesling Colleen had ordered at dinner that night. JC couldn’t help but laugh as he proceeded to purchase the wine along with his other items. “That girl has already  invaded my brain,” JC mused as he grabbed his bags. As he headed to his car, he quickly pulled out his phone and tapped the voice recording icon. That thought wasn’t a half bad lyric, needed some tweaking though, but he wanted to remember it. It was the first spark of creativity he’d had in a long time and he smiled knowing Colleen had inspired it.

The next two weeks flew by with JC and Colleen in some way communicating each day. JC’s schedule was erratic and Colleen sometimes had to pull last minute late nights but even just the “How’s your day?” text would cause them both to pause and smile. 

J: I heard from Mistress Raina today.

C: Oh?

Colleen was knee deep preparing for a briefing over dinner that evening but definitely wanted to hear what JC had to say. Of course, she always wanted to hear anything he had to say.

J: Yeah, she told me about the suspension. She and Miss Jacky came to some sort of new agreement but she didn’t divulge any details. 

C: Good for her.

J: You’re still mad.

C: Let’s just say I’m running background checks on any new clients that end up on my schedule.

J: It’s worked out though, right? That’s gotta count for something.

C: So far so good but just because she may have been right doesn’t mean her methods were. Sorry JC but I just don’t trust her.

J: I understand. Sounds like she has a lot of trust to earn back because of me.

C: I wish you would stop blaming yourself. 

JC sighed at his phone. They’d been over this a few times plus Mistress Raina also told him none of this was his fault but it didn’t make him feel less so. Things were going well with Colleen, he really liked her despite his apprehension with wanting to start another relationship. Yet he still felt the need to make amends with both women.

J: I want to go see her.

C: Ok

J: Ok you’re cool with it or ok you’re actually pissed and not saying anything?

Colleen smiled despite herself. Most guys took “ok” as blanket permission to do whatever they wanted. The fact that JC wanted clarification spoke to his respect for her feelings, which she found to be a rare quality in anyone these days.

C: Ok I appreciate you telling me but you certainly don’t need my permission to go.

J: I want to make sure you’re ok with me going.

C: Why would I not be? The whole point is we know each other goes there and should be respectful of that. I’m not trying to make you stop or change at all.

JC stared at the last message, reading and re-reading to make sure he actually understood what she was saying. No one had ever said that to him who knew. Mostly he got discouraged or judged or the rare girl who thought she could give him the same experience. This...this was different and he was starting to realize just how much so.

J: Thank you, that means a lot to hear you say that. 

C: Of course. Just so we are clear, as long as we are being respectful of each other, I’m perfectly fine. I like you telling me you are going to see Raina and I promise to let you know when I plan to see Mistress Piper. That work for you?

J: Sounds fair to me.

C: I should actually call in for a session. This case is starting to wear me down with all the minutiae we have to include. 

J: I hope you aren’t going cuz of me.

C: Not exactly but I’m not gonna lie, I’m liking spending my free time talking to you. But I’ve also been a bit trepidatious to go back after everything that happened.

J: I thought you said Piper didn’t have anything to do with it?

Colleen thought hard about how to answer JC back. The issue was that she was still upset Mistress Piper hadn’t told her about JC in the first place. She knew rationally that she couldn’t have told her with everything else surrounding it, yet it still felt like a lie.

C: She didn’t, it’s just awkward for me right now. I think I need to just talk some things out with her.

J: You do whatever you feel is best, even if it’s to take some more time.

C: Thanks for being supportive, JC.

J: Anytime, Babe.

Colleen’s face broke out in a full grin as she read JC’s last text. Babe….she could definitely get used to that.

Two days later, Joshua found himself in a familiar spot at Mistress Raina’s feet, painting her toenails a beautiful violet with flecks of sparkle that would reflect the light just so. He’d gotten pretty good at it over the years and he found it an odd skill women loved when he’d offer. He couldn’t help but let his mind wander to think if Colleen would like it.

Mistress Raina’s hand pawed lazily through his hair as he worked. “How are you feeling, Joshua?” she asked.

“Better than last time we met, Mistress.”

“Is that thanks to our little Leena?”

“Yes Mistress, however, I still don’t really know Leena yet, I’m still trying to get to know Colleen.”

Mistress Raina smiled and ran her finger nails lightly over Joshua’s neck, causing him to momentarily stop his brushstrokes so he didn’t mess up as an excited shiver ran through him. “I’m glad you recognize there’s a difference,” she cooed.

“Yes Mistress, I understand, I just haven’t seen the difference yet.”

“You will.” Joshua put the finishing bit of paint on her pinky toe and screwed the cap back on the polish. He then picked up a hand fan and began to wave it slowly over her feet. “So then tell me about Colleen.”

Joshua didn’t look up but Mistress Raina could sense his smile as he spoke. “I like her, Mistress. I like her confidence, her sense of style, her wit. She’s very easy to talk to but she also doesn’t drop everything for me. She hasn’t made me her number 1 priority and I like that because I shouldn’t be. I love that she has a mind of her own.”

Mistress Raina let out an uproarious laugh. “Mind of her own. I’ve barely seen that woman have an original thought since she arrived.”

Joshua grimaced. This was odd territory for him. A part of him wanted to defend Colleen but he knew the issue was they were seeing two different sides of the same person. 

“Mistress, would you be able to tell me a little bit about Leena?”

Mistress Raina’s eyes widened in surprise but she quickly recovered. The only question Joshua ever asked was “How may I please you?”. They must really be hitting it off even better than she had hoped.

“I only see her from time to time. Always friendly, nice smile, cute butt. Sometimes Piper sends her over here to clean, always does a good job, very through. She’s definitely focused on her task at hand.”

Joshua tried to imagine Colleen doing mundane chores like some happy little housewife. It seemed completely out of character for her though. He wanted to ask more but knew Mistress Raina would have said as much if she wanted to. Joshua folded up the fan. “I believe they are done now, Mistress.”

Mistress Raina kicked her feet up and examined Joshua’s work. She wriggled her toes and pressed her thumb against one of the nails to see if it left an imprint. She was pleased to see it did not and Joshua hadn’t lost his touch.

“Good boy,” she told him as she lifted his chin up so he could stare at her. “Do you want to meet Leena?”

“Yes Mistress, eventually,” Joshua replied, licking his lips at the gorgeous woman above him.

“Are you scared?” Mistress Raina teased.

“Not exactly, Mistress. I just feel I need some more education about what exactly it is she’s into before experiencing it.”

“It’s odd to be on the other side of it, isn’t it Joshua?”

“Yes Mistress, it is.”

“Glad you’re both taking it slow,” Mistress Raina told him as she stood, lifting his chin again, indicating for him to stand. Joshua followed suit and rose to his feet. It didn’t matter that he towered over Mistress Raina by nearly a foot, she was clearly the one in charge. She turned him around and pushed him firmly so he fell into the seat she had previously occupied and quickly straddled his lap, pushing her body against his hardening cock. Joshua moaned but sat motionless; he knew better.

“If things go well, I may have to give little Miss Leena some tips on how to dominate you,” Mistress Raina teased Joshua as her hand grabbed his hair sharply, pulling his head back and exposing his neck. Mistress Raina licked slowly up the nape of his neck until she could feel the goosebumps forming on his skin under her tongue. She reached his earlobe and gave it a soft suck then whispered “But not tonight.” She sat straight back up and pushed Joshua’s face firmly into her cleavage. Joshua gripped the sides of the chair as he moaned his appreciation into her breasts.

Down the hall, Colleen stood staring at Mistress Piper. Now that the secret was out, it didn’t matter about her and JC being there at the same time. In fact, they planned it this way to start testing out the waters but Colleen was having second thoughts.

“I’m not ready, Mistress,” Colleen confessed. “I’m just getting to know him. He’s….he’s amazing! He’s so laid back and go with the flow but when it comes to his work, he’s absolutely laser focused. He’s kind, he’s funny and his smile, oh God, his smile!”

“I get it, he’s a dreamboat,” Mistress Piper chuckled. “I’m glad this is working out, despite how it got started.”

Colleen bit her lip, scared to know the answer to her question yet knowing she wouldn’t be satisfied if she left it unasked. “Mistress, what was your plan for us?”

“Honestly, I never really got to something concrete. Once you told me you liked him, I knew we’d have to do something at some point. But you hadn’t been here long, I wanted to work with you more and then Josh left so the opportunity disappeared. I know I wanted it here though, someplace safe for you both.”

“It’s weird to hear you call him Josh, Mistress.”

“Once he started coming regularly, he asked us to switch it from his stage name to his real name. Only Raina calls him Joshua.” Colleen furrowed her brow. “I’m guessing you are still calling him JC?” Mistress Piper asked and Colleen nodded. “I mean, that’s what the world knows him as. Maybe it’ll change, maybe it won’t but right now it’s still early; don’t read into it too much.”

“You’re right, Mistress,” Colleen agreed. “I just...I still can’t believe this is even happening and I’m trying so hard not to over analyze everything but he’s so easy to talk to so then I just say stuff and then I worry it’s the wrong stuff and I don’t want to scare him because I do like him but not just cuz I’ve been after him forever but because he’s like genuinely a great guy and I don’t find those very often and then on top of that he’s my actual fucking fantasy come to life and he’s here and he’s real and I just can’t risk losing that after trying so hard to….”

“Ok ok ok,” Mistress Piper finally stopped her. “You’re gonna hyperventilate”. Mistress Piper grabbed both of Colleen’s hands into her own, inhaled deeply then exhaled slowly. She locked eyes with Colleen, getting her to follow her lead and calm down.

After a few minutes, Colleen was breathing normal again. “Sorry Mistress, I guess I’ve been a lot more worked up about it than I realized.”

“It’s a lot to handle, I get it,” Mistress Piper reassured her. “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t want him to see me like this Mistress, not yet,” Colleen quickly replied. “I mean, I know technically he has but….we’ve only ever kissed. I want to be fully present with him, at least to start.”

“That’s completely fair. We can play just in the room tonight, does that work?

“Yes Mistress, thank you,” Colleen smiled, breathing a sigh of relief.

“Of course,” Mistress Piper smiled back, brushing Colleen’s hair back with her finger tips. “You ready?”

“Yes Mistress,” Colleen replied, already starting to relax at Mistress Piper’s touch.

“Yeah you are,” Mistress Piper smirked. She took Colleen’s hand and led her to the big plush chair in the corner of the room, gently guiding her down to sit. Mistress Piper then straddled Colleen’s lap, letting her fingers once again slowly caress Colleen’s hair.

“Life has been such a roller coaster the past few weeks” Mistress Piper intoned. “Time to unwind on the lazy river for a bit. Just lay back and let the nice warm feeling guide you. No thoughts, no worries, just this relaxing feeling taking over you.”

Leena’s simple smile spread across her face as Mistress Piper spoke. It was so easy, almost too easy, for Mistress Piper to relieve Leena of all the stress and pressure she piled onto herself. Leena’s head lulled to the side as her eyes closed and she envisioned the scene Mistress Piper was describing, with one notable exception. As her hand hung loosely in the imaginary water, she felt the barest touch of fingertips against her own. In her mind’s eye, she turned and saw JC on an identical innertube next to her. He was laid back with sunglasses on, the sun starting to tan his chest, the breeze playing through his curls. Leena sighed contentedly at the vision she had conjured up as she lost herself in the fantasy.

A little less than two hours later, Colleen emerged from the back into the lounge area. JC had finished up with Mistress Raina a few minutes earlier and was waiting for her. He was so fucking horny and while he didn’t know if seeing Colleen was the best idea right now, they had agreed to meet up after and grab a drink.

“Hey Babe, feeling any better?” JC asked, standing up eagerly to greet her.

“Hmmm? Oh yeah, much better,” Colleen smiled at him, patting his chest.

JC eyed her skeptically, “You sure you want to go out? You still seem a little out of it.”

Colleen giggled, “Afterglow, I guess. It’ll be good to walk around in the fresh air.” She grabbed JC’s hand and led him into the alley. As the door shut behind them, JC fought off the urge to push Colleen up against the brick exterior of the club and ravage her entire body.

“You want to fuck her so bad,” he heard Mistress Raina’s voice ringing in his ears. “The thought of it makes you so hard. All in due time. For now, just let her tease you with it, I know how much you like that.”

JC watched Colleen walk down the alley, the orange jacket of her pant suit hitting her ass just so. She turned back to look at him and he noticed her tan camisole looked lower than before, the barest peak of lace from her bra exposed, tempting him…

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Colleen questioned him. JC made no attempt to even hide that he was staring at her chest so Colleen bent down to meet him at eye level.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” JC blushed, coming back to his senses. “Guess I’m still a little fucked up as well.”

“It’s ok,” Colleen smiled at him gently. She walked over to him, cupped her face in her hands and guided his lips to her own.

“It’s so easy, isn’t it?” Colleen recalled Mistress Piper telling her. “No reason to overthink it. You can kiss him without worry, you can flirt effortlessly and still keep your excitement under control. You love flirting with him, teasing him, making up for all those times he’s teased you that he doesn’t even know about.”

JC let Colleen take the kiss slow, letting every motion of her body affect him. Her tongue licking his lips, her hands bristling the start of his 5 o’clock shadow as they moved to wrap around his neck, her breasts just aching to be touched, her body pressing firmly against his.

Colleen smiled against JC’s lips then gave his lower lip a gentle tug with her teeth. “Easy there, Lion.”

“Pretty sure it’s tiger,” JC corrected her.

“You’re no tiger. Besides, you already come with your own mane,” Colleen joked as she ruffled his hair.

JC laughed as he moved his hair back into place. “An old lion, like ones you see at the zoo who just sits on a rock all day and his mane is all gray and mangy.”

Colleen deftly moved her hand to cup the bulge in JC’s jeans that she had felt firmly pressed against her as they had kissed. JC gasped in surprise. “Nothing old about this,” Colleen told him.

JC moaned deeply. “Oh, you are a bad girl.”

“No, I’m a good girl. Ask around.”

“I know better.”

“Not yet you don’t,” Colleen teased as she pulled her hand back.

JC body did a full shiver of excitement and frustration. “I’m gonna get you for that,” JC grinned.

“You better,” Colleen winked before turning and heading onto the main road. JC didn’t immediately follow so Colleen looked back at him. “You coming?”

“With any luck I will be,” JC said to himself as he joined her, grabbing her hand as they walked to the nearest bar for a night cap.

The evening passed without any further excitement as JC and Colleen sat with their drinks and proceeded to talk about everything except the experiences they had both just been through. JC wasn’t sure how to explain he’d been cockteased all night by two separate women and have it not sound like he was a philandering jackass. Colleen didn’t know how to tell JC she’d spent the better part of an hour basically imaging them on vacation together in some tropical paradise. Their highs from their sessions wearing off, they kissed goodnight with plans for dinner over the weekend.

So it went for several weeks as the two grew to know each other better. JC’s body wanted to take things further but he was still easing his way back into his life. His writing sessions had picked back up and he was making some real progress. Colleen was negotiating a multi-million dollar deal with Paramount for one of her clients and was working longer and later hours as a result. It was harder for the two to see each other physically but they still managed to find some time to connect.

“Hey Babe, how was your day?” JC called one late night.

“Exhausting,” Colleen said, sitting on the edge of her bed and kicking off her heels. “I just got home.”

JC glanced at his clock: 10:33. “Damn, I just finished up at the studio a bit ago. Was hoping to catch you before bed but I don’t want to keep you up.”

“You’re fine, JC,” Colleen smiled as she stretched. “How was your day?”

“Good. The sound’s really coming together. We hired this killer alto to lay down the demo and she knocked it out of the park.”

“That’s really great news,” Colleen told him as she headed to her bathroom and turned on the sink faucet.

“Are you getting ready for a shower?” JC questioned as he could hear the water through the phone. “I can let you go….”

“Just washing my makeup off,” Colleen informed him, switching him to speaker so she could use both hands.

“Oh man, I hope you rack out so hard tonight.”

“Rack out?” Colleen questioned with a laugh.

“Yeah, I think the saying is cuz the bed is shaped like a medieval torture rack.”

“You would know this phrase, wouldn’t you?”

“Ok, it’s not that uncommon,” JC protested. “Guessing you aren’t the tying up to the bed type?”

“Depends. Don’t know that I’d outright ask for it but if it was the right situation, I could definitely be persuaded.”

“And what’s the right situation?”

Colleen shut the water off and grabbed a hand towel to dry her face. She stared at the phone a moment, debating if she should actually answer him.

“Well, you’re the one who likes being tied up,” she deflected.

“Yes, I do but that doesn’t mean you can’t be as well if you wanted to be.”

“Pretty sure it doesn’t work if we’re both tied up.”

“Not at the same time, obviously,” JC laughed. “I can be dominant from time to time.”

“Can you?” Colleen genuinely asked.

JC was slightly taken aback. Did she really think he was submissive all the time with sex? He realized in that moment all they had talked about was his experience with Mistress Raina and still vaguely at that. She actually didn’t know.

“How tired are you?” JC questioned her.

“I can talk for a little longer,” she reassured him.

“Are you getting ready for bed?”

“I am,” Colleen smiled, not sure where JC was going with this conversation.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m changing my clothes.”

“And what are you wearing in this exact moment?”

“I just took my blouse off, about to undo my bra.”

“Leave the bra on, take off your skirt or pants, keep the underwear.” Colleen felt a zing go through her body as she did as JC instructed. “Tell me about what you’re wearing.”

“Uh, it’s just a white bra and matching panties. Um, lacy. The bra is push up if that matters.”

“Do you always wear something so sexy under your work clothes?”

“Mostly yes. It makes me feel good to put the whole outfit together, even the parts people don’t see.”

“What were you wearing underneath the day I came to your office?”

“Red see through bra and a black lace thong,” Colleen confessed.

JC stifled a moan, “Get on the bed.”

“Why?” Colleen asked hesitantly. 

“Because I said so,” JC stated. “Now don’t make me tell you twice.”

Colleen practically leapt onto the bed. She didn’t know what had gotten into JC but she was very turned on by it. “Ok, I’m on the bed,” she informed him.

“Good. Now lay down and get nice and comfortable for me.” Colleen propped the pillows up on her bed and laid back. “You good?” JC asked after a few moments.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Colleen informed him, already getting aroused at the prospect of what was about to happen.

“Now put your arms over your head and grab your wrists.”

Colleen did as instructed but wasn’t sure what to do with the phone now. “Hold on,” she told him as she got up and ran over to her attaché case. She grabbed her AirPods and placed them in her ears as she came back to the bed and resumed her position. “Ok, I’m good now.”

JC noticed the change in the sound quality. “What did you do?”

“I put you through my AirPods. Didn’t want to risk not hearing what you are gonna say.”

“Mmmmm, good girl,” JC practically purred in her ear, making her body twitch uncontrollably. Colleen should have known better from all her nights of hearing his voice sing through her ears as she’d listen to different YouTube clips or even interviews. Having his seductive voice that close to her brain was asking for trouble.

“Did you put your hands back up over your head?” JC questioned.

“Mmmmhmmm,” Colleen confirmed, too afraid already to use actual words for fear of how shaky her voice would be.

“Now close your eyes and imagine something for me.” Colleen obeyed. “Imagine my hand pressing down firmly on your wrists, not too tight but enough to let you know you aren’t going anywhere. Imagine the weight of my body on top of you, feeling it sinking you deeper into the mattress, no escape.”

Colleen’s breath quickened. She almost wanted to tell him how easy it was to imagine as she was constantly envisioning all the devious things they could be doing together. Her legs instinctively spread slightly across the bed.

“Feel my lips on yours, teasing you, letting my tongue lick over them. You want more, arching your back in an attempt to get closer but you can’t. I keep you still, the anticipation making you wet.”

JC had made his way to his own bed and stripped while they had been talking, letting his hand play casually over his cock as it started to harden from the thoughts he was creating. He hadn’t done this with someone in a long time but he figured this was a good time to prove to her that he could take charge.

“I kiss down your neck, nuzzling right into the side. Sucking, licking, biting oh so gently. Do you like that?”

“Yes,” Colleen breathed, squirming on the bed. She kept her hands as JC had instructed but she desperately needed to touch herself.

“Good,” JC intoned, letting his hand work slowly over his shaft. “Do you like to play rough?”

“I don’t have much experience with it,” Colleen managed to get out. “Maybe you could teach me?”

JC let out a low chuckle. “Oh believe me, I can. For now, we’ll keep it light as you feel me work my way down your body, kissing your collarbone, placing my face squarely between your tits, my tongue running along your cleavage, pulling the cup of your bra down, your nipples hard and ready for my mouth.”

Colleen moaned, feeling her nipples strain against the fabric of her bra, just as JC described it. The sensations running through her were unreal. Hearing JC talk her off was like having him personally narrate one of her well established fantasies about him. Her legs spread a little wider.

“I lick around the tip,” JC continued, “swirling my tongue around before sucking your nipple into my mouth. My fingertips play over the other one, twisting it just slightly, making you cry out.”

“Fuck,” Colleen moaned.

“I switch sides and work your other breast with my mouth, lavishing it with just as much attention.” JC was starting to speak slower as his hand sped up on his cock, not wanting Colleen to know outright what he was doing. “Tell me you like it.”

“Yes, I like it,” Colleen answered through gritted teeth.

“Tell me you want me.”

“Jesus Christ, JC, I want you so bad it fucking hurts,” Colleen nearly screamed. It was the truest sentence of her life.

JC gave a low laugh that caused Colleen to moan on the other end of the phone. His cock twitched in his hand as he tightened his grip more, getting off on getting her off. “Think you can take it if I keep going?”

“Don’t you dare stop,” she threatened.

“Just checking, Babe. Feel me start to kiss down your chest, my hands running down the sides of your body. So slowly, wanting to taste every inch of you.”

Colleen was breathing quickly. If this was a preview of what was to come, the sex was gonna be over in 30 seconds. She was fighting so hard to stay in the moment and hold off her orgasm as long as possible. She didn’t think she could survive the real thing.

“My hands find the band of your underwear and gently start pulling them down. You buck your hips, eager for me to get those soaked panties off of your body. I take my time, drawing out the anticipation, making you wonder exactly what I’m going to do next.”

“Please….JC,” Colleen panted. He was right, she desperately wanted to know his next move.

“Well, since you asked nicely,” JC snickered, feeling the first drops of pre-cum run over his fingers as he worked the liquid around his shaft. “I throw your panties on the floor and kiss my way back up your leg. A nibble here or there, getting ever closer to that dripping pussy.”

JC let out his first deep moan as he too imagined the scene. Colleen gasped, now realizing JC wasn’t just talking but masterbating while he did it. He was getting off to thoughts of her for once. Then Colleen’s eyes grew wide as she realized, “Holy fuck, we are acting out Come To Me!”.” 

“You can feel my breath on you,” JC continued, pulling Colleen’s focus back to the unbelievable reality of her situation. “Warm, heavy, hungry. I lick my lips; I need to taste you.”

Colleen was near tears of frustration at this point. She needed to be touched, even from herself at this point. She whimpered and moved her hips against the sheets to get some type of friction but to no avail. Colleen could have easily lowered a hand but she knew that wasn’t part of the game; he wanted to make her suffer and she was agonizingly loving every second of it.

“I let my tongue softly caress you, exploring, taking my time. I want to learn exactly where to go and what pleases you the most. I’m in control of your pleasure.”

“Yes...yes…” Colleen started repeating, her heartbeat increasing, her chest heaving. She was either going to cum or have an anxiety attack at this point.

“My tongue makes its way to your clit, circling around it then lapping over it slowly. My lips form around it, sucking just enough for you to really feel it. My eyes peer up at you….”

If JC said anymore, Colleen didn’t register it as her orgasm hit her like a tidal wave. The thought of his blue eyes looking up at her as he ate her out was too much as she screamed into the air. Her body jolted on the bed as her muscles clenched, desperate for something to squeeze around. She had never experienced something that intense from essentially just talking. Her only cohesive thought as she slowed her breathing was trying to figure out how to approach her friend Joyce from college that she now owed her $20 from their old bet that JC could make a woman cum only using his voice.

“You ok, Babe?” JC asked once he could hear her breathing starting to return to normal.

“Yeah, that was, uh, quite the visual you created,” Colleen confessed.

“Mmmmm, glad you came but I may have to punish you for touching yourself without permission.”

“Uh, JC, I didn’t. I mean, I came but I kept my hands up the entire time.”

“Really?” JC asked in genuine surprise. He used to talk girls off at clubs from time to time back in his heyday when he needed a little ego boost but he was never really convinced it worked. He realized Colleen must have one powerful imagination. 

“Don’t you need to cum?” Colleen asked.

“Yeah….yeah, I do,” JC admitted.

“Then don’t stop, finish your story.”

“But you already came?”

“If you think I can’t cum again, you really have been dating the wrong women.”

“Oh God, don’t make me laugh right now,” JC groaned. “Ok, I’ll keep going but feel free to touch yourself this time or grab a toy if you have one.”

“I’m 38 and single, of course I got toys around,” Colleen laughed. She rolled over to her bedside table to pull out her favorite purple dildo. She threw off her drenched panties and realized she wasn’t going to need lube this time as her wetness was already starting to cover her thighs. “Tell me what you’re doing,” she said as she settled back into the bed.

“Fuck, I’m jacking my cock hard and slow, thinking about you naked and ready for me.”

“I’ll fuck myself as soon as you tell me your fucking me,” Colleen informed him, completely caught up in the fantasy being played out.

“Ok,” JC breathed, no longer hiding his actions. “I kiss my way back up your body, capturing your lips in mine, my tongue instantly entering your mouth, wanting you to know how good you taste. You feel the tip of my cock teasing your entrance, taunting you with how good it’s gonna feel to be inside you.”

Colleen moved her dildo to play over her labia as JC had described. “Yes, I want you in me. I need you to fuck me.”

JC moaned low and guttural as his hand moved faster over his now nearly painful erection. “I want to fuck you,” he whispered. 

“Then do it,” Colleen egged him on.

“I...I push into you, slowly,” JC tried to continue, his hand mimicking his words. “Filling you so completely. I start moving in you at a nice rhythmic pace.”

Colleen made the same motions JC described as her dildo entered her, automatically making her feel so satisfied as she worked it in and out of herself. “JC,” she whimpered, “fuck me harder.”

A growl left JC’s throat as he moved his hand faster. “Is that what you want? You want me to fuck you so hard the only thing you can do is scream my name?”

“Yes, JC, yes!” Colleen begged him.

“Fuck yourself however you need and know that I did this to you. I made you….cum and can do it...fuck….any time I want.” JC grit his teeth, feeling his own orgasm about to come on.

Colleen moved her dildo swiftly in and out of her with one hand while the other reached down to rub her clit. She couldn’t even form words anymore as she listened to JC command her and knew he spoke the absolute truth. He could make her cum however, whenever or wherever he wanted. She’d already trained herself for him over the years, all he had to do was say the word.

“I’m gonna cum, JC, I’m gonna….” Colleen cut her own sentence off as her second orgasm of the night shook her body hard. Her muscles clamped around her dildo, pulsating intensely as she pushed it further into herself, imaging slamming her hips hard against JC’s cock.

“Fuck….fuck…” JC managed to get out before his own orgasm overtook him. His head fell back as he let the sensations take over him, wanting desperately to know how it would feel to have Colleen bringing him to climax instead of himself. Cum dripped down his hand as he sat for a moment to recover, feeling his dick begin to soften, worn out from use.

“You ok over there?” Colleen asked after letting JC regain his senses.

“Yeah, that was...damn.” JC chuckled softly. “I didn’t realize how much I needed that.”

“Me too,” Colleen replied earnestly. 

“Shit, hold on, I need to grab a towel,” he informed her, tossing his phone on the bed as he made his way quickly to the bathroom. Colleen laid in bed waiting for him, still trying to piece together how they had gotten to this point.

“Sorry about that,” JC replied after a minute or two, “things got a bit messy.”

“Oh, I’m right there with you,” Colleen agreed.

“That was...fun,” JC awkwardly stated.

“More than just fun, I’d say.”

“Ok, well, I’m not too great with the words right this second.” JC retorted. “I, um, I’d like to do that again sometime, if that’s ok?”

“Oh, are you done telling me what to do for the evening? I get to have a say?” Colleen teased.

“Well, in that case, I demand your presence this Saturday. My house. I’ll cook.”

Colleen’s head swam. His house. The house where he lived. With the gold curtains in the living room and the brown wicker furniture on the deck. The house where his bed was.

“Sure,” she croaked out. “I mean, yes, yes, that sounds...that sounds great. I, um, just let me double check tomorrow where we stand on this deal.”

“Sounds like you’re trying to get out of this.”

“No!” Colleen shouted. “No, I just don’t want to say yes then have to reschedule.”

“Fair enough,” JC stated. “For now, however, you need to get to bed. I’ve kept you up far too long.”

Colleen looked at her clock: 11:36. “Oh, yeah, I gotta be in at 7 tomorrow so definitely gotta try to get some sleep.”

“Sounds good. Shoot me a text once you find out about Saturday. Don’t stress if we gotta postpone, I know work is hectic right now for you. Just know the offer still stands.”

“Thanks JC, I’m looking forward to it,” Colleen smiled.

“Me too. Sweet dreams, Babe.”

“You too, JC, you too.” Colleen clicked end call and stared at the ceiling. They were closing in on two months since that fateful day in her office and she still was having trouble wrapping her brain around the fact that she was actually dating JC Chasez. She hadn’t even told any of her friends. Everything felt like her literal dreams come true that she didn’t want their input to impede on it in any way, not yet.

Colleen cleaned herself up and deposited the rest of her clothes in her hamper. She set her alarm and slid under the sheets naked, imagining the warmth of JC’s flesh next to her own and hoping she would experience the real thing soon enough.

Colleen was relieved that she had given JC the caveat about work because when she checked with her boss the following morning, he asked her to keep her weekend open in case last minute negotiations were needed. Sure, she could have tried to fit their date in but she didn’t want anything to interrupt them. She broke the bad news to JC who, by no surprise, was very cool about it.

In truth, JC was feeling his own type of relief about the delay. He hadn’t planned on having Colleen over quite yet but somehow the words just fell out last night. He was hoping that was an unconscious sign he was ready to try a relationship again.

The following Tuesday, Colleen texted JC to let him know the deal was finally reached and she was good to go for dinner whenever he was. JC swallowed hard and opted to reschedule for that upcoming Saturday. He didn’t want to try to do after work and rush to ensure she got to bed early enough. It needed to be leisurely, with no pressure. Plus, this gave him a few days to think and plan. He didn’t want her to think the invite to his house was just to have sex, but he also didn’t want to leave that off the table. JC just felt that once he crossed that bridge, there would be no going back. He wanted to be sure he was ready.

What kind of fish do you like?

The text came into Colleen’s phone Friday as she was cleaning up her files from the week.

Dead is preferable.

JC laughed at his phone.

Come on, I’m at the market and don’t want to choose wrong.

“Shit, is he cooking?!” Colleen began to panic. She mentally tried to price point different types of fish, not wanting JC to think she was trying to get him to spend a bunch of money on her.

Does Mahi-Mahi work?

JC took a quick look over the fish counter and saw some Mahi-Mahi on display.

J: It does. Anything you want with it in particular?

C: Your choice, I’m not picky.

J: Oyster casserole it is!

Colleen scrunched up her face at the phone. 

C: Ok, I guess I’m a little picky. What can I bring?

J: Just your beautiful self. I’ll shoot you my address in a bit.

Colleen blushed at JC calling her beautiful. Every new thing with him seemed so unbelievable and she made sure to take a moment and appreciate it every time it happened. JC was special, not because she had a crush on him, not because he was famous and not even because they shared the same “interests”. JC was a genuinely good guy who respected her time and her values. It was running dangerously close to pushing past just wanting to sleep with him and she couldn’t tell if that was because of how good it was going or accelerated due to her years of feelings for him.

A quick Google search told her Sauvignon Blanc paired well with Mahi Mahi so the next morning she stopped at the local store to pick some up, along with the brand of Rosé JC tended to order. She hummed to herself as she picked up a few other various items while she was there, trying to pretend it was a normal day and that she didn’t have a dinner date with JC Chasez at his house that evening. If she dwelled on it too long, she’d probably pass out in the produce aisle.

Once home, Colleen allowed herself a long shower as she got ready for the evening. JC had commented on how much he liked her orange suit against her skin tone that night after the club while they had their drinks so she chose a simple orange dress that cinched at the waist and hugged her curves just right. She had gotten a French manicure on the way home from work yesterday that worked perfectly with the accent of the white spaghetti straps on the dress and added a pair of white peep toe heels to complete the look. Underneath, she opted for the same bra and panty set she was wearing the night JC had her writhing on her bed in hopes he might actually see them this time.

Colleen made the drive up the Hollywood Hills to JC’s house. She’d seen grainy aerial shots of it before but wasn’t prepared for the real thing. She was honestly surprised there wasn’t a gate she had to pass through. Sure, it took a couple turns and was definitely out of the way but if someone wanted to find it, they probably could. She hoped he had a good security system, then remembered the break in he had years prior and was sure he was well protected. 

She parked her car behind JC’s Rubicon which was next to his silver Mercedes convertible. By the garage was his motorcycle with the bright yellow helmet resting on the seat. She wondered why these weren’t tucked safely away in his garage but then remembered him joking in some interview that that’s where a lot of his memorabilia was stored. Colleen stared at the garage door a moment more and wondered how many dates they had to go on before she could ask to ride the mechanical bull. She then laughed at herself, realizing there was a different bull she was trying to ride tonight.

JC jogged over to the door as soon as he heard the bell and greeted Colleen with a quick kiss and showed her in. “Wow, you look….WOW!” JC complimented her.

“Glad to see you dressed up for the occasion,” she teased him, tugging slightly at his dark gray button down shirt. “I was beginning to think your closet only consisted of Deus Ex Machina shirts.”

“They sent me a bunch when I bought my bike and they’re super comfy,” he laughed. JC ushered Colleen into the house with a sweeping gesture of his arm, “Welcome to Casa de Chasez.”

“I’m surprised it’s not Chateau Chasez,” Colleen said with a small laugh.

“Felt too opulent. This place is good but it’s no castle.”

“Any home can be a castle if you treat it with care. Besides, chateau also means large country house. I think this would fit the bill.”

Colleen took in the general living space. There were those curtains that led out to the deck. The floor was a gorgeous dark hardwood that contrasted beautifully against the light furniture in the living room. The room was pretty minimalist and not an award in sight, which actually didn’t surprise her. On her right was the spacious kitchen with a dining room beyond it. An island resided between each side of the kitchen where JC had left the prepped food for the evening. Colleen couldn’t help wondering if this was the infamous “kitchen counter” of 100 Ways lore.

“Hmmmm, I guess I’ll have to rethink that,” JC chimed in. “I hope you don’t mind but I set up on the deck. The weather is really nice tonight.”

“Don’t mind at all,” Colleen smiled. “Oh, I brought some wine. Wasn’t sure which was best but both should go with the fish.”

“That was very sweet, thank you.” JC took the bag with the wine from Colleen and leaned in to kiss her once more, this time lingering there, remembering how much he enjoyed this feeling. Colleen smiled against his lips as they continued kissing, never intensifying it but just soaking in the experience of having JC’s lips on her.

JC finally broke the kiss and let out a loud and long shiver. “Ok, if we don’t stop, I’m never going to get dinner ready.”

Colleen laughed and took a step away from him. She wanted to say she wasn’t here for the food but it was clear JC had gone through a lot of trouble. “So, may I ask what we are having?”

“Well, at the Chateau Chasez,” JC started with a terrible French accent, “we only serve the finest of cuisine. First, we have the charcuterie board full of many meats & cheeses. Then, we will move to the elegant salád and finally, per the mademoiselle’s request, a beautiful Mahi-Mahi with a ginger glaze over a bed of rice with a vegetable medley side of broccoli, cauliflower, baby corn and sugar snap peas.”

“Wow, that sounds amazing,” Colleen stated, thoroughly impressed. “I should have brought a dessert.”

“Oh, I got dessert,” JC told her, dropping the fake accent and lowering his voice an octave. He gave her a wink then headed into the kitchen with the wine. “For now, you are the guest so you can go have a seat outside while I pour you a glass of wine to enjoy.”

“Tempting,” Colleen countered, “but I’d rather have your company. How about I get the wine and you grab the charcuterie board and we both enjoy the weather together?”

“As long as you don’t mind eating a little later.”

“I don’t have any other plans for the evening, do you?”

“I got plans but only with you,” JC said, coming back to Colleen and giving her another quick kiss and handing her the wine opener. Normally JC would just open the wine himself but something about Colleen told him she’d be offended if he didn’t give her the opportunity to do it on her own.

They headed out to the deck and Colleen gasped as she took in the view. She knew they were high up in the Hills but didn’t realize just how much so until this moment. JC set the board on the table and wrapped his arms around Colleen from behind. He didn’t say anything as he lightly kissed her cheek, down her neck and across her shoulder. He knew his vantage point was gorgeous, it was a big selling point in why he bought the house to begin with, but after 20 years, he didn’t always appreciate it everyday. It was rewarding for him to see people experience it for the first time and a gentle reminder of how good he had it.

Somehow dinner felt like hours and only a few minutes at the exact same time. Colleen took the last bite of her rice and leaned back in her chair. “JC, that was delicious. Thank you so much. Where did you learn to cook like that?”

“Once I was able to actually live in one spot, I took a few cooking classes to get the basics down. I’ve always been a foodie so I wanted to learn to make what I liked to eat and from there just kind of played around with stuff.”

“That’s really awesome you took the time to do that. Ever think about doing one of those celebrity cooking shows for charity?”

“Oh no no,” JC protested. “I cook for fun, not competition. My buddy Joe was on Chopped years ago and said it was so stressful. Fun but nah, not for me.”

Colleen took a sip of her wine to suppress her laugh. She knew JC was talking about Joey Fatone but wasn’t sure if he actually called him Joe or he was trying to hide it was one of his band mates. Either way, she wanted him to feel comfortable talking about his famous friends. “Yeah, I remember Lance was on one with his Mom a few years back. They totally should have won.”

JC chuckled as he finished his wine then peered at Colleen as he set down his glass. “Wait? Is it Lance? Your mystery dream crush guy? Cuz, I hate to tell ya….”

“No, it’s not Lance,” Colleen laughed.

“Dammit, I’m gonna figure this out.”

“No, you aren’t,” Colleen joked as she stood and started clearing the plates.

“What are you doing?” JC questioned, himself now also rising.

“I’m gonna start washing the dishes.”

“Uh uh,” JC said, taking the plates out of her hand. “You don’t need to do anything tonight, I’ll take care of it.”

Colleen gave JC the evil eye but relented. “Fine, this one time but I’m following you in to refill our wine glasses.”

“Are you trying to get me drunk?” JC asked as he gathered up the remaining silverware.

“Yes,” Colleen teased as they moved into the house. Colleen reached the counter where the wine bottle was and was surprised to find it empty. “Did we really go through two bottles of wine already?”

“Three. I had another bottle of that Rosé you brought on hand.”

“Ok, no more wine then,” Colleen declared. “You ok if I hang around for a bit? I don’t feel drunk but I’d rather wait a bit before driving.”

“You in a hurry to get home?” JC asked as he loaded his dishwasher.

“No, I just...want to make sure it’s ok,” Colleen floundered, a bit of her nervousness peaking through. JC somehow always made her feel at ease but now that dinner was over, the promises of what was to come were making her stomach do cartwheels.

“I insist,” JC smiled at her from the kitchen. “Go get comfy on the couch, I’ll be over in a few.” Colleen did as instructed, kicking her shoes off and folding her legs under herself. Colleen checked her phone real quick to see if she had any messages and saw Sara had texted asking her to hit up a bar for some drinks. Colleen declined and instead of once again saying she was working, she at least let her know she was on a date. She’d been avoiding her friends because of JC and she was feeling more and more guilty about it as the weeks went on. As much as she swore that if she ever met JC she’d rent a billboard to advertise it, now that it actually happened, she wanted to keep it her little secret as long as possible.

JC plopped on the couch next to Colleen, shaking her from her thoughts and handed her a plate of some delicious looking concoction. “I told you I had dessert,” JC grinned.

“Jesus, you bake too?” Colleen asked as she dug in for a decedent bite, giving a moan of satisfaction as the flavors hit her tongue.

“This is not baking. This is whipping and assembling,” JC smiled as he corrected her. “It’s just meringue, strawberries, chocolate and whipped cream. I, um, wanted to play off the troupe of when you mix sex and food but more elevated and less messy.”

Colleen smiled at him as she placed another bite in her mouth. “Job well done, I’d say.” 

The two ate the rest of their dessert in silence. Colleen tried to concentrate on the food but kept getting distracted by the idea of licking the dessert off JC’s stomach. JC was kicking himself for bringing up sex, not wanting to put so much pressure on the evening. 

Dessert now done, JC quickly dropped the plates in the dishwasher and started the cycle. He returned with another glass of wine for them each. “I thought we said no more wine?” Colleen protested yet accepted the glass and took a sip.

“Technically you said no more wine but since you ate a little more, I figured another glass wouldn’t hurt. I only filled it half way,” JC pointed out.

“Now who’s trying to get who drunk,” Colleen smirked.

“I’ll make sure you are good to go when you want to leave. If I have to call an Uber, it’s not a problem.”

“Then I suppose a little more wine couldn’t hurt,” Colleen said, raising her glass to toast with JC, who in turn reached over to clink her glass with his own. Both were feeling good, the wine helping them ease their nervousness. “This has been a very nice night, thank you.”

“You are more than welcome. It’s been a long while since I’ve been able to unwind like this.”

“Can I ask how come?”

JC sighed, “Things with my last ex. It got super intense real fast and, well, I guess we had two different ideas of what we wanted for our futures when it came down to it.”

Colleen didn’t want to press him for details about his ex as it seemed to be a raw topic but his statement led to a question she didn’t want to slip away. “So what do you want for your future?”

“Honestly, I’m trying to figure that out. I thought I knew then my perspective shifted and now I’m just not sure.”

“Let me ask it this way: what do you want right now?” JC raised an eyebrow at Colleen and she swatted his arm. “I’m trying to be serious, you horn ball. No, I mean, what are the things that would make you wake up with a smile on your face tomorrow morning?”

JC considered the question. “Knowing my music was heading in the right direction. It’s so tough to know if what you are doing is going to work and every day is a leap of faith; some self assurance would be nice. I also, um, would like to have a certain someone waking up in that bed next to me.”

Now it was Colleen’s turn to cock an eyebrow at him. “Really?” she smirked, sipping more of her wine.

“Yeah, really,” JC confessed. “I know how this came to be is so fucking weird but I really like you. I like this. I like the way you make me feel. I don’t have to watch what I say around you, I can just be myself and that’s….that’s really refreshing.”

Colleen momentarily stopped breathing. She felt the connection too but to hear him say it was almost too overwhelming. She was fighting hard to stave off her tears. It was indescribably odd to have someone you’ve prayed would like you for 20 some odd years actually say it.

JC saw the panic crossing Colleen’s face. “Sorry, that was probably a little too forward.”

“No no, you’re fine,” Colleen tried to reassure him as she got her respiratory system to start working again. She wanted to explain how she was feeling but didn’t want to scare him off, especially in this moment, so she settled for a lesser truth. 

“It’s been about 3 years since I’ve been in a real relationship. To start, most guys can’t handle my crazy hours and even if they can, they don’t like how much I can handle myself. They say they want me but really they want the opposite, a submissive little girlfriend but all that aggressiveness in the bedroom. It took me longer than I’d like to admit to realize I couldn’t nor shouldn’t compromise on the things that I wanted just to be in a relationship. So, I’ve just been dating around ever since because something serious never seems to work for me.”

“Oh, I see…” JC trailed off, turning his attention to the floor.

“No, you don’t,” Colleen stated, turning his face to meet her own. “You are...you’re something special, JC. You’ve been amazing these past few weeks. You understand when I have to cancel plans cuz of work. You let me vent all my legal mumbo jumbo without sounding bored. You make it easier to tell you the things I want without fear, whether it’s a choice of restaurant or my deepest sexual desires. You make me feel like just being me is good enough for you and that’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Colleen’s lower lip started to quake and she quickly drew her wine glass to her mouth and drank slowly, closing her eyes trying to calm her breathing. Her heart was threatening to jump out of her chest. She had commanded meetings with billionaires before and it was nothing compared to how scared and vulnerable she felt right now.

“Hey hey hey, come here,” JC said after giving her a moment, taking her wine glass from her and placing it on the coffee table as he pulled her onto his lap. “This is...scary, for the both of us. This can be whatever we want, no pressure. I just wanted to tell you how I feel.”

“I just keep coming up with more and more questions I wish I knew the answers to. I don’t go into court until I’m fully briefed, you know what I mean?”

“That brilliant brain of yours really does run at lightning speed, doesn’t it?”

“You see now why I need a reset from time to time?”

JC looked up at Colleen and brushed her hair back behind her ear. “Colleen, you can ask me anything you want but I don’t always guarantee I’ll have the answer. But let’s see if we can’t take them one at a time, ok?”

Colleen smiled down at JC. “Ok,” she whispered as she leaned down to kiss him. JC held out about 10 seconds before pulling Colleen’s body flush to his own and deepening the kiss. He had been thinking about this all day and while he didn’t want to rush, he also was desperate to be inside her.

JC worked his hands up Colleen’s back and slowly pushed the straps of her dress and bra off her shoulders. He broke from her lips and kissed down her neck in a similar fashion as he had done earlier as she admired the view, but this time with more intention, more urgency.

Colleen gasped as she felt his cock grow hard underneath her. She couldn’t help swaying her hips on top of him as she grabbed the back of the couch with one hand as the other found its way to tangle in JC’s hair. She gripped it firmly in her hand, which caused JC to practically growl as he kissed lower down her chest.

JC’s lips quickly found her breasts as his tongue snaked out to lick along her cleavage. At the same time, his hands found the hem of Colleen’s dress and worked it slowly up her thighs. Colleen felt helpless as JC touched and caressed her body and she loved every second of it. This was it, this was the dream and she was going to let him do anything he wanted to her tonight.

Colleen straightened up slightly so JC could push the skirt of her dress up and over her back side. His hands grabbed and played with her soft flesh and he had to fight every instinct to not smack her ass. He didn’t want anything remotely rough tonight, he just wanted this about the two of them.

JC’s hips bucked inadvertently up and Colleen responded by grinding her pelvis into him. Just because she was going to let him have his way didn’t mean she couldn’t have her own fun as well. Colleen moved her hands to JC’s chest and undid the buttons on his shirt, pushing it down his shoulders.

“Oh, come on!” she exclaimed, half laughing and half exasperated as she saw JC’s undershirt.

“I told you, they’re comfy,” he protested back. He quickly pulled his button down off his arms then peeled his t-shirt over his head and discarded it behind the couch. “Better?”

“Much,” she confirmed, her voice growing husky with lust. Her hands ran up and down his chest, enjoying the feel of the hair upon it. She knew he had some from pictures where it was more trimmed than shaved over the years but to feel it against her palms had never entered her imagination. Her hands moved to his stomach. Gone were the abs of his youth but she didn’t care; he was still JC. It was never solely about how he looked but rather who he was.

Colleen’s hands found JC’s belt and started to undo it but JC stopped her. She met his eyes with confusion. “Not just yet,” he whispered. Truthfully, he could have plunged right into her as his cock was straining against his jeans but he had something he wanted to do first.

JC slid his right hand from his belt to Colleen’s crotch, feeling the wetness on her panties. He deftly pushed them to the side as he let his middle finger run along the length of her pussy. Colleen threw her head back and moaned as he teased her, her back arching as she moved herself against his hand, silently begging for him to enter her.  Still, JC continued his slow torture, his eyes never leaving Colleen’s face. 

“Look at me,” he whispered. Colleen pulled her head back forward to face JC and was met with the piercing blue of his eyes. “I want to watch you,” he stated as his finger teased her opening.

“Fuck, the voyeur thing was right,” Colleen thought as she bit her lip and locked eyes with JC. She’d stared into those eyes thousands of times but the real thing was much more captivating. She wanted to memorize every shade of blue and watch how the intensity changed with his mood. She could have just stayed here forever watching him watching her.

However, Colleen’s eyes soon rolled to the back of her head as JC slowly inserted his finger inside her. He licked his lips as her body shuddered at the feeling, wrapping his left arm around her waist to keep her upright. Colleen finally brought her eyes back to meet his. They looked darker than they had just a moment before to Colleen as she lost herself in them once more.

JC added his index finger as he moved with Colleen, his cock begging to be released as he watched her face give way to the pleasure he was giving her. “I want to fuck you so bad. Please, let me fuck you,” JC asked through gritted teeth as his fingers sped up.

“Yes, please fuck me,” Colleen breathed. JC eased his fingers out of her as she whimpered. He maintained eye contact with her as he stuck his fingers in his mouth and sucked them slowly back out. He moaned his satisfaction, wanting her to know how much he enjoyed the taste of her. All Colleen could do was stare and watch him in awe.

“Stand up,” JC instructed her. “Get those panties off.” Colleen did as JC asked as he lifted his hips off the couch and pushed his jeans and boxer briefs past his knees. He gave his cock a few satisfying strokes, feeling better now that it was out of the confines of his pants. “Come here,” he beckoned to Colleen.

Colleen only caught a glimpse of his length as she straddled his lap once more, staying upright on her knees until JC was ready. Normally, Colleen would have kicked herself for missing the opportunity but her head was so clouded in lust that all she could think about was him inside her.

JC wrapped an arm around her waist again as he pulled her close, the tip of his cock just out of reach. Colleen put her hands on each of JC’s shoulders as she slowly lowered herself down onto him. JC moaned loudly as he finally got what he had been craving for the past 2 months. Colleen fought to not pass out as she finally got what she had been aching for for much much longer.

“I need a second,” Colleen informed him. The rumors of JC’s size were definitely true and that compounded with not having had sex in a number of months meant Colleen needed a moment to acclimate.

“You ok?” JC asked as he looked up at her, his fingers running lightly over her back. 

“Yeah, it’s just….a lot,” Colleen said with a small laugh. “I’m ok.”

“I’ll go slow,” JC promised with a smile as he placed his hands firmly on Colleen’s hips and lifted her off of him slightly then guided her back down slowly. JC watched Colleen’s face contort in pleasure as he sped up just a little. He was pent up but didn’t want this over quick so he put his full concentration into Colleen’s enjoyment.

Soon they found a steady rhythm as Colleen rode JC, their arms wrapped around each other as they kissed feverishly. JC could feel his orgasm building and didn’t want to reach there before Colleen. He reached down between them and found her clit, rubbing it in time with their movements. Colleen moaned into JC’s mouth and kissed him harder. She wanted this feeling to last forever but knew she couldn’t hold off too much longer.

Colleen’s hands started pawing at JC’s back as her breath became more ragged. JC sped up, hoping he could time it right. “Let go. I want to feel you cum all over me,” JC encouraged her. That was all Colleen needed as her body tensed and shook as her orgasm overtook her. She practically screamed against JC’s shoulder and tried to be conscious of not digging her nails into his back as her pussy spasmed and contracted wildly around his cock.

JC couldn’t hold out any longer as feeling Colleen close in around him put him over the edge. He thrust into her hard several times as he came, his teeth gritted in concentration, his arms wrapping around her body, holding her close against him. Her body shuddered once more at the feel of his orgasm inside her as JC slowed them down to a gentle rock for them both to settle down.

Colleen lay limp against JC’s body, completely spent. JC let her recover, rubbing her back and kissing the top of her head. “You alright there?” he finally asked.

“No,” Colleen mumbled.

JC pulled his head back to examine her, trying to decide if she was just worn out or something more serious was wrong. “You need some water?”

“Water would be good,” she replied. JC smiled, realizing there was no serious threat.

“I’ll get you some water but you have to get off of me.” Colleen groaned and shook her head in protest. “Come on, the longer we wait, the more it’ll suck.” Colleen knew he was right but still didn’t want to agree. “Ok, I’ll help,” JC chuckled as he rolled both their bodies so that Colleen was now laying flat on the couch. He slowly pulled out of her as she let out a displeased cry.

JC almost tripped over his jeans he forgot were around his calves as he went to stand up. He kicked them off and ran to the kitchen naked to get Colleen a glass of water. Again, Colleen was too gassed to appreciate the scene before her.

Water and two towels in hand, JC returned to the couch. He placed the glass on the coffee table and used one of the towels to clean himself up and put back on his underwear. He placed the other towel on Colleen’s stomach. “Sorry it’s a kitchen towel but it’s clean.”

Colleen finally pulled herself out of her euphoric daze and assessed the situation. She realized with some surprise that she was laying with her legs spread and her dress around her waist on JC’s couch. “Oh Jesus,” she shouted, quickly grabbing the towel and placing it between her legs as she sat up and pulled her dress back up to cover the top half of her at least.

“You’re fine,” JC reassured her. “Have some water.”

Colleen grabbed the glass JC had provided and slowly drank the contents until she reached the bottom. “Apparently I needed that,” Colleen finally spoke.

“The water or the sex?”

“Both but, uh, more so the sex.”

“I have a feeling you’re gonna sleep very well tonight.”

“Oh yeah, I could probably pass out right now.”

“We can head to bed right now. That is, if you’d like to stay?”

“Yeah, I’d like that,” Colleen smiled at him. JC extended his hand as Colleen stood up and adjusted the bottom of her dress. He closed up the kitchen and led Colleen upstairs.

JC’s bedroom was much like his downstairs, minimalist but sheik. The room was large with his king bed being the center focal point. End tables on each side with a bench at the bottom and a bureau across.  A brown coverlet over the bed matched two brown leather chairs that faced out to a pair of French doors and what she assumed was another deck.

“Did you want something to wear or…?” JC started to ask.

“If you have something I can borrow, that would be great,” Colleen replied. JC went to the dresser and handed Colleen some clothes to sleep in. She slipped into a pair of light blue boxers with dancing pepperoni pizzas adorning them. She unfolded the t shirt and sighed. “Seriously, do you own stock in the company or are you a walking billboard?” Colleen laughed at the familiar logo. 

“I’m going to convert you,” JC grinned as Colleen begrudgingly put the shirt on. “See? Soft, right?”

All Colleen could do was shake her head and smile at JC as they headed to bed, letting him lead to dictate which side she should be on. They slid under the covers as JC turned off the light and wrapped his arms around Colleen, the moonlight illuminating them as they laid there.

“So, are we really doing this?” JC asked.

Colleen wasn’t sure if he meant sleeping in the same bed together or starting an actual relationship but she was agreeable to both. “I believe we are really doing this,” she confirmed. 

JC kissed her cheek. “My girlfriend, the kick ass power attorney to the stars.”

Colleen couldn’t help but giggle. “My boyfriend, producer and lyricist extraordinaire, about to take Broadway by storm.” Suddenly, a thought flashed through Colleen’s head. It was a risk but she could always play it off as a joke if it didn’t work. “JC, don’t you have to sing the song when you get a new girlfriend?”

“What song?” JC asked in confusion.

Colleen laughed, not even a little surprised he wouldn’t get the joke. “You recorded this song Girlfriend with these four other guys if I recall.”

JC flopped back on the bed dramatically. “No, I’m not gonna sing the song,” he laughed.

Colleen rolled over to face him. “I’m pretty sure it was an addendum to your Jive contract. I can look it up and check if you’d like.”

“First of all,” JC stated, turning himself towards Colleen with a smile, “our contract with Jive was completed when Sony bought them out and released albums without us knowing. Second, after a colossal fuck up with our first contract, you better believe I read every word seven times over before I sign anything.”

“It was worth a shot,” Colleen laughed and kissed him. “You know, I actually had to study your court case in law school.”

“Really? Small world,” JC chuckled as they both moved to their initial positions, JC kissed Colleen’s neck a few times then moved up to her ear as he sang low “I’ve searched around this whole damn place and everything says you were meant to be my girlfriend oh. Why don’t you be my girlfriend, I’ll treat you good. Something something something say you should.”

Colleen broke out in a full blown laugh. “Ok ok, good enough. Thank you for humoring me.”

“You get points for not requesting This I Promise You but that’s enough exploiting my past for your own amusement for one evening.” JC moved his body over Colleen’s and gave her a long deep kiss. “Goodnight Babe.”

“Goodnight JC,” Colleen smiled back at him and caressed his cheek. JC moved back behind her and draped an arm around her waist and Colleen placed her hand over his. She stared off into the night sky, trying to relive every moment of the evening but didn’t get very far as sleep caught her quickly and she was asleep within minutes. JC heard the change in her breathing and smiled as he too followed right behind her.

Colleen arose to the smell of coffee and JC singing “The best part of waking up is fresh ground fair trade coffee in your cup”. She blinked her eyes and smiled as he moved around the bed to put the coffee on the end table beside her. “I didn’t know what you take with your coffee so I brought up some soy milk and some regular and some sugar.”

“Thank you,” Colleen said, sitting up and pouring a dash of regular milk in her coffee. “What time is it?”

“A little after 9. I wanted you to sleep in. You didn’t even move when I got up.”

“Wow, maybe I can quit seeing Mistress Piper and just have sex with you to help with my restless nights,” Colleen joked as she sipped her coffee.

“From experience, I can tell you that’s not gonna work but I am very happy to help with the stress relief efforts.”

They both sipped their coffee for a moment in silence. “We probably have to tell them, huh?” Colleen questioned.

“I don’t know about you but I definitely do. I’m under orders to call as soon as you leave.”

Colleen laughed, “Man, you are whipped. In this case, both figuratively and possibly literally.”

“You, uh, you’re ok with this? That I’m gonna tell her?”

“Yeah, I mean, it’s not surprising.” Colleen thought of something and put down her mug. “JC, she didn’t tell you to do any of the things we did last night, did she?”

“No! God no,” JC exclaimed, putting his coffee cup on the floor so he could grab both her hands within his. “That was all me, I swear. I just have to tell her what happened but she doesn’t have any influence over what is happening.”

“Exactly how detailed does this account get?”

“Like I’m narrating a porn,” JC sheepishly admitted.

Colleen raised an eyebrow at JC and grabbed her coffee mug once more. She wasn’t keen on Raina knowing such intimate details about her but she also assumed this was probably the case with most of JC’s girlfriends, just she got to actually know about it. “I think we need to sit down and thoroughly discuss what we do when we go see our Mistresses. Not this second but sooner rather than later. I meant what I said before; I’m not trying to change you just like I don’t want you trying to change me. But if we’re gonna be serious about this, I think we both truly need to know what we are getting ourselves into to make sure it’s something we can handle. I know we’re good in theory but practice is a whole other thing.”

“I actually...yes, you’re one hundred percent right, I just...I was thinking about it this morning and maybe it would be ok if we each sat in on a session with the other? I think actually seeing it might be more beneficial.”

“Shit, JC, I don’t know,” Colleen contemplated. “I mean, that makes a lot of sense but I’ve never...Mistress Piper’s the only one who’s ever seen me like that. I want you to, I think it’s a good idea but, fuck, the last thing I want to do is have you freak out.”

“You think I’m not feeling the same way? Things are a lot different there then they are in real life and I’ve spent so much time either keeping them completely separate or forcing what I like onto people who ultimately couldn’t deal with it. Mistress Raina keeps talking about balance and she’s right. What I want is someone who I can share those experiences with, either together or tell them about it and we can create our own fantasies. I never never never want you to do something you aren’t comfortable with but I’m tired of relegating my desires to the side for fear my partner won’t like them. I want a partner that will actually enjoy them with me and I believe you want the same thing too.”

Colleen looked into JC’s eyes, today as light and clear as the sky outside. “You’re pretty convincing and this is coming from someone who does convincing for a living.”

JC smiled. “If it makes you feel any better, I technically have seen you “like that” the night I met you at the club. Not gonna lie, it’s been tough not to ask you to bust out that little pink number you were wearing.”

“You know it’s far more complicated than just playing waitress, right?”

“I do, just trying to lighten the mood,” he said and kissed her nose. “Just do me a favor and think it over.”

“I promise I will,” Colleen stated as she finished the last of her coffee. “You know who else we have to tell?”

“I’m not issuing a press release,” JC stated as he grabbed his coffee mug back up from the floor.

“I’ll cancel the TMZ coverage,” she deadpanned yet smiled. “No, we should probably tell our friends.”

“You haven’t told your friends yet?” JC asked, trying not to be offended.

“Wait, you have?”

“Yeah, I mean, I mentioned I was seeing someone, basic info, that kind of stuff.”

“Well, admittedly, it’s a little different.”

“How so?”

Colleen gestured her arm up and down JC’s body. “I don’t expect to tell my friends I’m dating JC Chasez and have them not completely flip out.”

“So don’t use my last name.”

“JC is still pretty distinctive.”

“Then just say Josh or something, it’s really not that big a deal.”

Colleen could tell JC was getting agitated. “Hey, I’m not trying to show you off like some prize trophy. I’m not dating you for your name or your connections. I’m dating you for you. I’ve actually been avoiding my friends since seeing you. I know this is LA and they interact with famous people all the time but dating….come on, you have to admit that’s a different beast. I love them but they are going to be worse than Raina on asking for details and I just...I didn’t want their scrutiny to get in the way while we were still figuring things out.”

“I didn’t mean to keep you from your friends.”

“You didn’t, it was my decision. I don’t want to lie to them so it was just easier to stay away for a bit.”

JC tapped his mug with his fingertips. He didn’t see himself as famous anymore even though enough of the world still did. Most of the time he could come and go as he pleased but then all of a sudden some football team dances to Bye Bye Bye in the end zone and the paparazzi is stalking him outside his dentist office and he’s thrust into the spotlight again. Fans he didn’t mind but people took so much undo interest in him simply because he was famous at one point. Maybe that’s what Colleen was trying to get at.

“Are you saying your friends are gonna ask you 20 million questions about an *NSYNC reunion before they ask you about the actual person you are dating?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” Colleen proclaimed, thankful JC was finally getting it. “I don’t blame them and if I’m being honest, I’d probably do the same thing, at first, if it was one of them. I didn’t want to cause a panic until there was panic to cause, I guess. They’ll mellow out and be fine but initially telling them...nope, it would be all “Did you see the group text? Did you get a picture with a MoonMan? What’s he smell like?” for the first few hours.”

“What are you gonna tell them I smell like?” JC grinned.

Colleen leaned over and kissed JC’s neck as she inhaled deeply. “Right now, you smell like sex,” Colleen informed him as she sat back up. “I’m guessing I do too.”

“Sounds like we need a shower,” JC suggested.

“I think you’re right,” Colleen agreed.

JC downed the rest of his coffee and led Colleen to his bathroom. It wasn’t giant, but spacious enough with most of the room taken up by a standing shower that would easily fit the both of them. A large rain shower head covered most of the expanse while a regular one with a handle attachment was mounted on the wall. Just like everything else Colleen was noticing in this house, it was just that extra step beyond ordinary but definitely didn’t cry out millionaire.

While Colleen had been taking in the room, JC had stripped and came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her neck. She could feel his cock press against her ass lightly, not ready for her yet but promises that he would be soon enough. “Well, good morning,” Colleen smirked.

“Mornin’,” JC mumbled into her neck as his hand found the waistband of her boxers and slipped beneath, finding her clit quickly and giving it a few fast flicks. Colleen moaned and pushed against his hand.

“God, you’re good at that,” Colleen breathed.

“I’ve had lots of practice,” JC said, nibbling on her ear. He then abruptly stopped and stood straight back up, removing his hand. “Wait, that came out way worse than I intended.”

Colleen laughed as she turned around to face him, giving his shoulder a pat. “I knew what you meant but not your best material.” JC responded by kissing Colleen and moving his hands under her t shirt and up her rib cage. Another moan left Colleen as his hands found her breasts, his thumbs brushing slightly over her nipples. He then lifted higher and momentarily broke their kiss so he could remove her top. Once done, he quickly began to push down her boxers and she stepped out of them easily.

JC reached into the shower to turn the water on as Colleen realized, despite having sex the night prior, this was actually the first time the two of them were truly naked in front of each other. JC’s body wasn’t what Colleen had been expecting but that wasn’t a bad thing. In fantasy, you don’t think about appreciating the outline of someone’s thigh muscles or the shape of their belly button. Colleen realized more than ever how much she was falling for the man he was more than the man she thought he would be.

“You’re staring,” JC chuckled.

“I’m admiring,” Colleen responded without missing a beat. “Is the water ready?”

“I think so but you let me know,” JC said, moving to hold the shower door open for Colleen to enter.

Colleen got under the rain shower and let the water soak over her hair and skin. “Could we do just a touch warmer?” she asked and JC obliged, turning the hot water knob slightly further. Colleen could feel the change right away and shut her eyes to just enjoy the feel of the warm water washing over her. JC entered the shower as well, craning his neck back to allow the water to directly run over his face and cascade into his hair, his hands smoothing it down the back of his head.

“How about we get a little more dirty before we get clean?” Colleen asked seductively, feeling bold as she cupped JC’s balls in her hand and rolled them loosely. JC gasped slightly at the unexpected contact but then relaxed under her touch.

“I think that, uh, sounds like…an excellent...idea,” JC stammered out.

Colleen let her hand fondle him further as she watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he tried to regulate his breathing. She was making him feel this way and that turned her on more than she was expecting. Her fantasies only ever went so far as to imagine his moans as she sucked him off.

“Wait…” Colleen thought, slowly coming to a realization. She looked down at her hand touching him and slowly ran her fingertips up to his hardening shaft. She quickly looked up at JC’s face as he moaned his pleasure at her touch, eyes still closed and face skyward. “Holy shit, I can blow him right fucking now.”

It was a fight not to break into a dance or drop to her knees immediately. All these things that would be normal ordinary experiences with any other guy were magnified tenfold with JC. Every next step felt monumental and Colleen loved the feeling. Nothing had played out exactly like she fantasized but she actually kind of liked that. Everything felt new and undiscovered and she was relishing every second of it.

Colleen delicately wrapped her fingers around JC’s growing cock, letting her hand slide easily over him as the water continued to pour down on them. JC stood there motionless, letting Colleen touch him however she pleased. He liked the feel of her taking charge and was curious to see how she was going to proceed.

“Tell me how you like to be touched,” Colleen said just above a whisper so she could be heard over the running water.

“I like to be teased,” JC confessed, still not looking down. “I want you to do whatever you want but draw it out.”

Colleen grinned widely. No way she was going to hurry through this. Her hand gripped him tighter but she slowed down her motions, eliciting a groan from deep inside JC’s throat. “I think I want that throbbing cock of yours in my mouth,” Colleen told him, practically shocking herself with her bluntness.

“Yes, please,” JC breathed, fighting hard not to push her down there himself. His years with Mistress Raina had taught him the value in restraint and the immense pleasure of letting someone else take control of the situation.

Colleen carefully got on her knees and switched her hand position on JC. There he was, naked and hard and ready, just for her. She licked her lips as she slid her other hand down to her pussy, moaning at how slick it already was. Again, she took a moment and looked at JC as if trying to memorize every detail and curve of him. They were officially dating but nothing was guaranteed and she still didn’t trust that she’d be in this position again. Even if she was lucky enough to be, there was nothing like the first time.

JC had asked to be teased and she was happy to oblige as she let her lips find the tender flesh of his balls, kissing and sucking just slightly. JC yelped in surprise but that didn’t stop Colleen, confident he would let her know if there was an actual problem. She let her tongue circle around one slowly before pushing it into her mouth and giving it a long slow suck.

“Jesus Christ!” JC yelled, his breath ragged. “I...fuck...hold on hold on hold on,” he begged, backing up from Colleen slowly. Colleen looked up at him concerned. “No, you’re fine,” JC quickly reassured her. “I just...I’m gonna fall over if I don’t hold onto something.”

Colleen’s face quickly broke out in a mischievous grin as JC moved back to rest against the shower wall. She waited for him to settle and look back at her before dropping her hands to the ground and crawling slowly towards him, deliberately moving her ass from side to side as she traveled the short distance, bringing most of her body out of the water’s path.

“Fuck, woman, you are going to be the death of me,” JC spoke through gritted teeth.

“Oh no, we can’t have that,” Colleen cooed innocently. “Should I stop?” 

“No, I’ll die a happy man,” JC started to chuckle but was cut off by Colleen’s lips on him again, switching to the other side and repeating the same motions she had done previously. JC’s eyes were beginning to lose focus as he felt his other testicle be swallowed whole and rolled around loosely in her mouth, her tongue swirling and driving him wild.

Colleen released him and started to kiss up his shaft as she felt it twitch against her lips. Just as she was about to reach the tip, she switched sides to kiss down back to the base of him. JC whimpered, wanting her lips fully around him but loving every agonizing second.

She made her way back up by giving a long slow lick up the underside of his cock and once again stopped just shy of the tip. She placed her hand back around him and stroked him slowly, staring up at him. JC looked down at her, breathing heavy, his eyes pleading with her. Colleen met his gaze as she continued her pace. After a few moments, she lowered her head while still maintaining their eye contact and slowly licked the dab of pre-cum that had formed off the tip of his cock.

“Ffffffuuuuuucccccckkkkkk,” JC seethed, throwing his head back and hitting the wall. He quickly recovered and looked back down. “Colleen, please! Babe, I can’t….I need you, please,” JC begged.

Colleen grew wetter as she reveled in the power she had over JC at that moment. She lowered her head again and let her tongue swirl around the tip of JC’s cock before slowly pulling him into her mouth. JC let out a loud, satisfied moan as he could finally feel her mouth on him after weeks of wondering what it would be like. 

JC carefully moved one hand to the side of Colleen’s face as she went, concentrating on gently moving her hair out of the way as each time she bobbed her head down, it went slightly lower on him. He moved to the other side and she angled her neck to let him get any strands out of the way. He held her hair back loosely and tried not to press down at all as she continued.

Colleen could feel him growing inside her mouth and knew there was no way she was going to be able to handle all of him and a little bewildered how her vagina had handled it the night before. It was getting harder to breathe and she had teased him long enough. She felt JC’s hand in her hair and opened her eyes to see his other hanging limply at his side.

Without warning, Colleen reached out and pinned his wrist to the shower wall as she sped her mouth up on him, sucking feverishly. JC couldn’t help it as he bucked his hips up and balled the hand in her hair into a fist, tugging firmly, causing Colleen to moan around his cock. He tried to break free of her grip but she tightened her hold on his wrist, which was exactly what JC wanted.

JC was breathing heavy and pulled on Colleen’s hair with more urgency. “Babe...Babe...I’m gonna cum I’m gonna cum.” This just made Colleen speed up more, making JC cry out. He tried one more vain attempt to pry her off, not wanting her to go unfulfilled but his orgasm hit him full force. His back arched as he screamed into the humid air and his hips took on a mind of their own as they rhymically thrust against Colleen’s mouth as she milked his orgasm out of him.

Colleen let go of JC’s wrist as she slowly pulled off of him and swallowed, licking her lips and watching him recover. As of this moment, every sexual fantasy she had had about this man was fulfilled and anything after would just be gravy. She never dared to dream this big and yet here she was, in an actual relationship with JC Chasez. At this point, her friends wouldn’t ask her a million questions, they’d commit her to an insane asylum because the last few weeks had been too unbelievable to be true.

“Holy Jesus, woman, that was…that was fucking good,” JC exclaimed, still trying to catch his breath.

“I’ve had lots of practice,” Colleen replied with a wink. 

JC laughed as he helped Colleen back up to her feet. “Sorry about that.”

“Sorry about what?”

“I’m not gonna be able to….I need some time to recharge before I can…”

Colleen cut him off and grabbed his hand. “Pretty sure we’ve proven you can get me off with more than just your dick so I believe it’s time to see what these can fully do.” Colleen pulled up his index finger and deep throated it while she looked JC squarely in the eyes. JC gasped then groaned as he felt his very sensitive cock twitch, Colleen’s actions wanting him to try for round two but painfully aware it was too soon.

“Fully convinced you are actually trying to kill me,” JC breathlessly laughed but was more than happy to take the hint as he wrapped his free arm around her waist and twisted her around quickly so her back was now to him. The surprise of the motion caused Colleen to let go of his other hand and he took the advantage to slide it immediately between her thighs. “Damn Babe,” he whispered in her ear, “did sucking me off really make you this wet?”

“Mmmmhmmm,” Colleen mewed, spreading her legs a little wider, encouraging JC to touch her more. JC obliged, plunging two fingers deep within her, causing her to gasp and move her ass against him. “Fuck, JC,” she cried out.

“Do you like that?” JC said heatedly. “Do you like what I can do to you? How wet I make you?”

“Yes, JC, yes!” Colleen panted.

JC’s fingers sped up, thinking back to their conversation on the beach weeks ago. She had remembered his story and used it against him in the best way possible. He wanted to try the same. “I want you to cum when I tell you to and not until I tell you to. Don’t think, just do as I say.”

Colleen’s eyes went wide. She immediately did the opposite as her brain started running a mile a minute. Had he really just said that? Is that what he wanted or was he just trying to give her what she wanted? Did he actually understand or was he trying something out or…?

JC peaked around to see Colleen’s expression and could tell she was trying to process what he had said. He took a risk and decided to double down, removing his arm from her waist temporarily and pulling her hair down forcefully but careful not to hurt her. Her neck craned back as JC growled in her ear. “I said, Don’t. Think. Your only job right now is to concentrate on how good I’m making you feel. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Colleen squeaked out, too scared of herself of what else might come out of her mouth.

“Good,” JC snickered. “Breathe and give in to me.”

Colleen exhaled a breath she didn’t realize she was holding and practically fell into JC’s arms. JC wrapped his free arm around her again, this time around her chest, allowing him to touch and caress her breasts as he continued. Colleen moaned low as he touched her. He stole another glance of her face and this time her expression was completely different. Her face was much more relaxed, her lips slightly parted, her eyelids heavy. JC had never seen her this passive and he had to admit, he found it oddly hot. If this was the relaxation she was looking for, he could definitely get used to it.

JC nibbled at Colleen’s neck as she moaned her pleasure at his actions. He didn’t want to stop but the angle was starting to make his wrist ache. Plus he was completely intrigued to know if his plan was actually going to work. A few more quick strokes then JC buried his fingers into Colleen as far as they could comfortably go and growled in her ear “Cum.”

Colleen’s body instantly convulsed against JC as she clamped around his fingers, her walls pulsating her orgasm. Her breath came in spurts, her eyes opened wider but were completely unfocused. She basked in the pleasure taking over her and JC watched her in awe, shocked and elated it had actually worked.

As her orgasm subsided, JC slid his fingers out of her and rotated his wrist a few times. She still lay limply against him, her head hung low on her chest. JC thought back to last night about how hard her orgasm had rocked her and how she needed some time to recover. “Come on, Babe,” he coaxed, “let’s get you under the water.” JC reached his hand out to find the water had definitely cooled since they initially entered the shower. He adjusted the temp to get it warm again and pushed Colleen up to her feet to maneuver her body under the spray.

The water hit Colleen like she had just gotten thrown in a pool and she gasped, startling JC slightly. She wiped the water out of her face and stared at JC wide eyed. “What the fuck just happened?”

“Pretty sure I gave you an amazing orgasm and you came super hard...again,” JC grinned, proud of himself. “Remind me to get some Gatorade for the night stand when you stay over; you’re a pass out risk.” Colleen’s expression hadn’t changed and JC got worried, “Wait, do you really not remember what happened or…?”

“No no, I remember, I just….don’t understand.”

JC’s pride deflated as he rubbed Colleen’s shoulders. “Shit, Babe, I’m sorry. I was just trying to play with what I thought you wanted. I’m sorry I missed the mark.”

Colleen’s eyes started to well up. “No, JC, you were...you were perfect. You were better than perfect. I felt…I felt like I’ve always wanted to feel and I can’t...I still don’t know how to explain but I just...I really didn’t think it would ever happen. And you...of course it would be you to prove me wrong.”

JC pulled Colleen into a tight hug and kissed the top of her head. “I’m really glad I could give that to you. I’m not exactly sure what it is that I did either but as long as you’re satisfied, I’m happy.”

Colleen blinked away her tears as she lay her head on JC’s chest. She had lied to herself earlier; NOW every sexual fantasy she had had about JC was fulfilled. It felt silly to cry and she refused to let herself deal with the emotion of it all right now. JC had given her something she never dreamed could actually be real, with any man. Every time she tried to explain, guys didn’t get it but JC...of course JC would be the one to understand.

“You ok?” JC asked softly, smoothing her hair back under the stream of water.

“Yeah, I’m just…overwhelmed. A lot to process,” Colleen admitted.

JC kissed her lips. “Take your time figuring it out. I’m not going anywhere,” he smiled, reassuring her. Colleen smiled back and kissed him once more. “Ok, my water bill is going to be ridiculous. Let’s actually get clean,” JC decided, clapping his hands.

The two washed up and finished their shower quickly. JC gave Colleen a robe to lounge in while he threw her clothes from the night before in the wash. They ordered some Chinese to be delivered and decided to watch the documentary Class Action Park they had both been meaning to see. By 2pm, the laundry was done and Colleen was changed back into her clothes from the prior evening.

“You can stay, if you want,” JC stated as he walked Colleen to her car.

“I’d actually love to stay but I have a meeting at 10am I should review the notes for so I’m prepped. Plus, you are gonna be in trouble if you don’t call Raina soon,” Colleen joked, poking JC in the chest.

“She said when you leave, there was never a specified time,” JC said with a small smile. In truth, he didn’t want Colleen to leave just yet. It hadn’t even been 24 hours since she arrived for dinner yesterday yet everything that had happened felt so natural. Having her around made him smile and he wasn’t looking forward to walking back into the empty house by himself.

Colleen laughed and kissed him quick. “Let’s see if we can’t do low key date night sometime this week. I’ll check my calendar when I get home and let you know, ok?”

“Ok,” JC agreed, his smile a little bigger this time. “I’d like that.” He moved in and kissed Colleen thoroughly before letting her leave, reminding them both of the fun they had and the promises of future nights together.

Colleen finally hopped in her car and JC watched her drive off. When she was almost out of view, JC grabbed his cell phone and dialed. It picked up on the first ring.

“Joshua,” Mistress Raina’s voice slithered into JC’s ear. “I was getting concerned. I take your late call to mean your date went well?”

“Yes Mistress,” JC said as he watched Colleen’s car disappear. “It went even better than expected.”

“Good. Tell me everything.”

A week later, Colleen sat in her car in West Hollywood, steeling herself for what awaited her. She was already 10 minutes late to brunch with her friends and while she was looking forward to seeing them, she wasn’t exactly excited to tell them her happy news. It was ironic, considering she always thought she’d be flaunting any inane interaction with JC like it was front page news. Now, all she wanted to do was act like it wasn’t a big deal.

After a few deep breaths, Colleen got out of her car and headed up the block to Rocco’s. Of course they chose Rocco’s. They had been there a number of times before so it wasn’t exactly unexpected but it felt like yet another ridiculous twist of fate since meeting JC. At this rate, she half expected to walk in and see Raina and Mistress Piper having Bloody Mary’s at the bar.

Colleen entered the restaurant and quickly spotted her friends out on the patio and made her way over.

“About time, bitch,” Matthew yelled excitedly at her as she approached.

“Sorry, parking around here, you know,” she casually brushed off, traveling the circumference of the table to give each of her friends a hug and a kiss before taking her own seat.

“Almost got worried you got called into work again,” Sara stated, the barest hint of annoyance in her voice. “You’ve been particularly busy lately.”

“Yeah, I have,” Colleen replied, a bit surprised by Sara’s tone, “but you know how it is with ever changing deadlines.” As a Senior Copy Editor for Penguin Random House, she knew Sara could sympathize but all she did was take a sip of her mimosa.

“What Sara is trying to say is that we’ve missed you,” Kyle responded with her ever present bright smile. A former model who always saw the positive in things, Kyle owned and operated the Pilates studio Colleen frequented, though not so much these past few months.

“What Kyle is trying to say is Bitch, where have you been?!” Matthew exclaimed. As a stylist working his way up the celebrity food chain, Colleen was almost surprised Matthew didn’t hear some rumor about her and JC already.

“I promise I have a reasonable explanation. Actually, no, it makes absolutely no sense but first, I’d love to know how you all are doing. I know I’m really out of the loop and I’m sorry.”

Sara shot Colleen a heavy side eye but caught her up on the latest drama at work and how her bid to get out of the Teen Fiction department was still dead in the water. Kyle said they got a new instructor to teach on the Reformer machines so she’s been retooling the class schedule, which always put clients in a tizzy. Matthew just got to style Matthew McConaughey for a photo shoot and was really proud he had insisted on at least one look in a suit just in case the actor did decide to run for governor of Texas.

“Alright, spill sis,” Matthew encouraged Colleen as he finished his story. “Work work, blah blah blah. Tell us about this date last week.”

“Thanks,” she directed at Sara since she obviously spilled the beans. Sara just shrugged with a smirk. Colleen took in a large breath and started. “So, I HAVE been busy at work,” she exaggerated pointedly at Sara, “but I’ve had some other stuff going on as well and I just didn’t want to tell anyone until I got it all sorted out.”

“I met this guy about 2 months ago and it’s been...it’s been good, really good. He’s a music producer and he came in my office looking to set up some contracts for some work he’s doing and one thing led to another and now we’re...dating.” Colleen and JC agreed to not tell any of their friends the true story of how they met as her friends didn’t know about her late night adventures and his would just give him shit.

“Honey, that’s great,” Kyle beamed.

“What’s so great about this guy that you’ve been blowing us off for weeks?” Sara shot back at Colleen.

“Why are you so angry at me?” Colleen asked her.

“You know, I believed you were busy at work but now you’re saying you’ve been seeing some guy this whole time? So what’s the real story, Col?

“I haven’t been blowing you off solely cuz of this guy. Look, yes, I’ll admit I haven’t been a good friend lately but even if this guy wasn’t in the picture, I only just closed this grinding deal at work like a week and a half ago. He and I have only been out on 3 actual dates because I don’t have the time.”

“Three dates in two months and you’re buying in whole hog? Must be some guy,” Matthew assessed, sitting back in his chair.

“He is,” Colleen blushed.

“So, tell us about him,” Kyle prodded excitedly.

“Well, um, like I said, he’s a music producer and he’s very sweet and super cool with my schedule cuz his is just all over the place so that’s a plus. Oh, and he’s an amazing cook!”

“Oh, so you’ve been to his place?” Matthew asked.

“Yeah, that was the date I was on last week.”

“And what time did we get home from said date?”

“3pm the next day,” Colleen admitted.

A chorus of “Ohhhh”s broke out between Matthew and Kyle and even Sara smiled at the news. She was still pissed off at how Colleen had pretty much fallen off the map the past 2 months but was happy her friend had at least gotten laid.

“So, does this guy have a name?” Sara inquired.

Colleen breathed, no turning back now. “Yeah...his name is JC.”

All three friends stared at her in shocked silence. At that exact moment, the waiter came over to their table and addressed Colleen. “Good Morning, Ma’am. Welcome to Rocco’s. Can I start you off with a drink?”

“No,” Matthew piped up, “this woman is apparently on some heavy hallucinogens and should not be consuming alcohol.”

Colleen ignored him. “A glass of the House Pinot Grigio would be great, thanks.” The waiter smiled and left as Colleen turned back to the table.

“Wow,” Kyle finally spoke, “that’s a crazy coincidence. A music producer named JC, what are the odds?”

“I’m sorry, he just happened to pick you randomly out of all the lawyers in the city?” Sara asked skeptically.

“He said his friend recommended me.” 

Silence fell over the crowd again as they all exchanged looks. “Can we just clear something up here?” Matthew questioned. “Are you trying to say that JC Chasez, a man you’ve been obsessed with since before I even met you, showed up at your office one day and now you’re fucking him?”

Colleen gave a small laugh, “Slightly more complicated than that but yes, unbelievably enough, that’s what I’m trying to say.”

Another silence filled the air until Sara abruptly got up. “You know what? This is bullshit. You don’t want to be friends with us anymore, fine. But to lie to us with such a ridiculous story is fucking demeaning.”

“Sara, what the hell?” Colleen snapped back. “When in our entire friendship have I lied to you?”

“I didn’t think you did until now but you certainly picked a whale of a tale to start off with.”

“Whale of a tale,” Matthew snickered behind his Bellini. Sara picked up a butter knife and pointed it at him aggressively. “Jesus, calm down Teresa Giudice, it was just a joke. What bug is up your ass today?”

“OK,” Kyle interrupted, raising her voice a bit to get everyone’s attention. “Obviously we have some negative emotions floating around that we should address. Why don’t we sit down, take a moment to center ourselves and order and then we can discuss rationally.”

Everyone turned their eyes to Sara. “Fine,” she said begrudgingly as she got back in her seat and abruptly pulled up her menu to shield her face from the others. Now Colleen, Matthew and Kyle were the ones to exchange looks. Colleen pulled out her cell phone and typed a quick message.

HELP

JC put down his guitar and grabbed his phone when he heard the text chime. He was on standby in case Colleen’s brunch went awry and based on the one word plea for back up, he guessed they were freaking out more than she had suspected. JC sighed, not really wanting to deal with the onslaught of questions he was sure were awaiting him but also not wanting Colleen to feel like she had to handle it on her own. He grabbed his keys for his bike and his leather jacket as he headed for the door.

I’ll be there in 20

The quadruplet placed their food order and put in for another round of drinks while they were at it, everyone feeling they were going to be needed. Once the waiter walked away, Kyle again took the reins to play peacemaker. “Ok, seems like everyone has questions and some things to say. Colleen, I’m very happy for you but I…”

“You don’t believe me,” Colleen cut her off.

“I didn’t say that,” Kyle tried to smooth over. “I think having some more information might be helpful.”

Colleen sighed. “I get it, I really do. If the situation was flipped, I wouldn’t believe it either. Christ, saying it out loud, I still don’t believe it. I’m not sure what else to tell you, honestly. We met, we exchanged information, he invited me out for sushi the next night, we stayed in touch, got drinks one late night, got closer, he invited me over for dinner and we decided to actually give it a go.”

“For God’s sake, Colleen,” Sara nearly spat. “What the fuck is this? Did some shit happen at work? Did you do ayahuasca in the desert? Cuz this, I’m sorry, there’s just no way.”

“Well I, for one, completely support this delusion,” Matthew said, raising his glass in a mock toast. “You live your best life in your head, sweetie. Just like, maybe leave JC at home every once in a while and come hang out. We can gos all about his big dick.”

Colleen put her face in her hands, praying for JC to get there soon. While she expected some skepticism, she didn’t think they’d call her an out right liar. “I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m truly sorry for not having been around but I just...I’ve been trying to wrap my brain around all of this and I…I feel like a crazy person, saying I’m dating my teenage crush.”

“And 20 something crush and 30 something…” Matthew interjected before Kyle hit his arm.

“I’ve been avoiding you all because I’ve been avoiding this exact conversation,” Colleen continued, fighting hard to keep her composure. “I’ve been trying to convince myself it was real and that’s been hard enough. I didn’t want…I didn’t want reality seeping in.” Colleen blinked a tear away and grabbed her napkin to dab her eyes. She was frustrated at them, she was frustrated at herself, she was frustrated at the whole situation. This was probably the greatest thing to happen to her, so why did it feel so shitty to tell people?

Sara reached over, her face now full of concern. “Colleen, honey, I’m sorry I was mad. I didn’t know so much was going on. Obviously work has been very stressful for you and your dealing with it in a...unique way. We just want to help.”

Colleen stared at her friend. “You think I’m having a mental breakdown, don’t you?” She looked at her other friends, who had sympathy and concern all across their faces. Colleen laughed then laughed some more. She broke into a full on fit of giggles as her friends watched. Colleen had to admit, it was probably the only option that made sense anymore.

“Honey, why don’t you take a couple days off? I know a nice place in Palm Springs we can go to relax and unwind, get your mind off work and whatever else is going on,” Kyle offered.

“And I’ll get you a new vibrator,” Matthew chimed in. “I think a different style will help you not imagine it’s JC every night. Can I interest you in the Kirkpatrick model?”

Sara tried to hide her laughter and Kyle just looked at Matthew. “Uncalled for,” she chastised him.

“What?! I thought we were workshopping ways to help?” Matthew replied.

“Let me ask you all something,” Colleen spoke up, her laughing fit having steadied out her nerves. “Let’s pretend, just for a moment, you believed me. What would you say then?”

“I’d want to know what was in the group text,” Sara instantly replied.

“I’d demand a picture with a MoonMan,” Matthew stated confidently.

“I’d just want to know what he smelled like,” Kyle said wistfully.

“WOW!” Colleen looked at them all wide eyed. “Frighteningly good to know I got one part of this conversation right in my brain.”

“Ok, you wanna keep going with this? Easy solution,” Sara reasoned. “Show us a picture of the two of you together.”

Colleen reached for her phone and as she opened her photo album, knew for certain she didn’t have any pictures of them together. She respected how private JC was so she hadn’t asked because she didn’t want him thinking she was going to post them all over Instagram.

She silently cursed at herself and looked up to confess to Sara she had no proof when she saw JC’s yellow helmet go by and breathed a sigh of relief. “I don’t have any pictures but I have something better if you give me a minute.”

“Tell me she’s going to pull out a used condom,” Matthew proclaimed.

“How...what?!” Kyle attempted to ask him. “The only thing that proves is you’re gross for even thinking that.”

“Colleen, look,” Sara turned to her. “You’ve been trying to find your in with JC for years now. I’d believe you finally met him, hell, I’d believe you fucked him, but some story about him waltzing in your office and sweeping you off your feet? This isn’t some fucking fan fic.”

“He doesn’t know I’ve been pining after him for decades and I’d appreciate it if you guys wouldn’t tell him,” Colleen pleaded.

“Jesus, Colleen, come on! When would I ever get the chance to tell him?!”

“Right now,” Colleen smiled proudly as JC made his way to their table. He rounded the corner and came up on Colleen’s right, bending down to give her a quick kiss.

“Hey Babe,” he greeted her then stood up to address her friends. “Hi, I’m...ah, ok, yeah,” he stopped upon seeing the three wided eyed individuals staring at him with their mouths agape. “I take it did not go well?”

“Not even a little,” Colleen said as JC pulled up an empty chair to sit beside her.

The silence grew until Matthew moved to stand up. “If you’ll excuse me just a moment,” he said graciously as he left the table and made his way to the exit of the restaurant. A second later, an ear piercing scream could be heard as Matthew ran down the sidewalk by the patio screaming, “Jesus is real! Jesus is real!” He was nearly out of sight when he dropped to his knees and shouted skyward, “Dear Lord, I have seen what you have done for others and ask you to guide Luke Evans to my studio whereupon I will measure his inseam as many times as he’d like.”

“Matthew’s shy,” Colleen informed JC.

“I can see that,” JC laughed. 

“I am so sorry,” Kyle finally spoke. “We are being incredibly rude. I’m Kyle,” she said, extending her hand to JC who smiled and shook it.

“I literally don’t believe it,” Sara said as she still stared at JC. “How...just...how?!”

“There’s not much to the story,” JC informed her. “I’m working on a musical and I needed to hire some singers for the demo. A friend recommended Colleen to help with the contracts and, you know, it was a one and done meeting so I didn’t see the harm in asking her out. This has worked out better than some of those singers did.”

Colleen was mentally thanking JC that they had gone over the story on her drive to the restaurant that morning. She smiled at him and squeezed his hand, knowing this had to be terribly awkward for him.

Sara leapt out of her seat and threw her arms around Colleen. “I’m so sorry I’ve been such a bitch and that I didn’t believe you. They gave Kiersten the promotion I was gunning for. Pretty blonde barely out of diapers Kiersten. I needed you and you kept saying you were busy and I got angry but honey, oh my God, I’m so happy for you.” Sara’s eyes were dripping tears as she smiled at her friend.

“Hey, it’s ok, we’re ok,” Colleen reassured her, brushing away her tear tracks. “I’m so sorry about the promotion and I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me. I didn’t know but I should have asked and checked in better.”

“No, I get it. I totally get it,” Sara said, eyeballing JC once more.

“We normally aren’t this dramatic,” Kyle tried to reassure JC.

“You promise?” JC asked with a smile and a wink. Kyle giggled loudly and started playing with a long chunk of her hair as she smiled back at JC. At the same time, Matthew quietly made his way back to the table.

“Ok, has everybody got it out of their systems so we can have a nice and mildly saner meal?” Colleen asked the group. Sara and Kyle nodded but still kept their eyes on JC.

“I don’t know what these two have been doing in my absence,” Matthew stated, “but I have been a perfect gentleman the entire time I have been at this table.”

“Yep, there’s the catch,” Colleen smirked.

Matthew ignored her and turned to JC. “Oh my God, I love this nail color on you! The dark green totally works with your skin tone. Do you remember the name?”

“Hey, thanks man,” JC said, starting to relax a little. “No, it’s Essie though. I’ll look up the name when I get home and have Colleen text it to you.”

The food finally arrived and JC put in his own sandwich order so it would hopefully arrive quicker. The conversation started to mellow out but the inevitable reunion questions arose even though Colleen tried to steer them away from it best she could. JC appreciated all her efforts; he wasn’t used to this much attention anymore but he was doing his best to placate all their inquiries. It seemed the more he got the “celebrity” ones out of the way, the more they got to the actual relationship questions, which he was oddly more comfortable with.

As they were finishing up their meal, a familiar voice shouted out, “Yo, JC!” The group turned to see Lance Bass coming towards their table. JC wiped his mouth and stood to give his band mate a hug. “I didn’t know you were coming by.”

“Last minute decision,” JC informed him. “You hanging around for a bit?”

“Sadly no, just picking up take out. I got a production meeting at 2.” Lance took a look across the table. “Who are your friends?”

JC introduced Matthew, Kyle and Sara to Lance. “And this is Colleen, the woman I told you about.” Colleen stood and shook Lance’s hand.

“Oh, so it’s the whole meet the friends thing? Must be getting serious,” Lance teased. “It’s fine, it’s fine, I’m totally not offended you invited them to my restaurant and didn’t even inform me.”

“Hey man, they picked their favorite brunch place, I was just the tagalong.”

“You know, I thought y’all looked familiar,” Lance smiled. Colleen couldn’t tell if Lance really did recognize them from their previous visits or was just making them feel more welcome. Either way, it was an impressive skill. 

“Well, I hate to cut this short but I have to run,” Lance continued. “Colleen, it was lovely to finally meet you. I’ve heard only nice things, especially the one about the shower.” Lance raised his eyebrows a few times at them.

Colleen’s mouth dropped open as she turned to JC. “I didn’t tell him that!” JC protested, turning to Lance and slapping his upper arm. “I didn’t tell you that!”

“No, but it turned out to be a good guess,” Lance laughed and winked as he walked away.

JC and Colleen turned back to the table to see her friends pretend they hadn’t heard the last bit of the conversation. They sat back down as Matthew started casually humming the chorus of 100 Ways as he buttered a muffin. Colleen threw her napkin at him.

Lance stood at the bar as one of the servers got his food and whipped out his phone.

I met JC’s latest girl.

Chris: And?

L: She’s cute.

C: Of course she’s cute, JC’s fucking her. Give me something I can use.

L: They had sex in the shower.

C: That’s like saying I yawned today.

L: I don’t know. They’re at Rocco’s with some of her friends. I’m picking up food so I spotted them.

Joey: How’d you get him to admit about the shower sex?

L: I made a joke about it and the girl’s face went white. He’s so gonna kick my ass later but it was worth it.

C: When did you become the asshole? That sounds like one of my moves.

Lance glanced over at their table and could see everyone’s eyes trained on JC. JC’s back was to him but he could see JC’s arm around Colleen’s chair, flexing his fingers in and out, a tell tale sign he was getting anxious. “Shit,” Lance cursed to himself. The couple was probably getting grilled and he hadn’t meant to put either of them on the spot that bad.

The server returned with Lance’s food. “Do me a favor and get me the check for that 5 top,” he asked and the server went to retrieve their ticket.

J: So he’s meeting her friends? That’s a big move for him.

L: Yeah, they’re having an all out kiki as we speak.

J: I thought you couldn’t do that in public.

L; That’s kai kai. We’ve been over this, Joey.

J: That’s right, you kiki about the kai kai. 

C: I think you’re both cuckoo!

Justin: Who needs The 3 Stooges when I have you idiots.

J: Why I oughta?!

JT: So you met the latest selection, Lance?

L: Yeah, seems nice for the 3 seconds I spoke to her.

JT: They’re always nice to start.

C: Bets?

J: Christmas.

L: Joey, it’s September now.

J: I said what I said.

C: That sweet spot after New Years but before Valentine’s Day.

L: I’m literally watching him squirm in his seat like her friends are a firing squad. Either by the end of the day or in a year, no in between.

C: J?

JT: Spring. Every year he’s always about some “rebirth” hippy shit. That’s when the last one was cut loose so seems to be a pattern.

The check for JC’s table came and Lance signed off on it and his food order and left with a quick wave to the group.

L: Headed out but I’ll get more intel as soon as I can.

JC waved as Lance left and turned back to the table. “Ok, I have to ask. Why did no one freak out when Lance came over? It’s literally the same thing.”

“Because Lance isn’t fucking our friend,” Matthew informed him.

“Plus we’ve seen Lance a few times before, it’s our first time meeting you,” Kyle added.

“And for years Colleen has been going on and on about...OWWWW!!!!” Sara yelped as Colleen dug her nails into her friend’s leg. “That she wanted to meet a nice down to earth guy so it’s exciting it seems she has.” Sara smiled forcibly at Colleen as she retracted her nails.

The waiter came by to see if anyone needed anything further and once everyone confirmed no, he pulled out the check. “I was told specifically to give this to you,” he said, handing the bill to JC. JC laughed and shook his head as he reached for his wallet but the waiter stopped him. “You won’t be needing that.”

Confused, JC looked at the receipt. Scrawled across the print out, blue ink spelled out “Stop being so predictable with the shower sex! Brunch is on me as an apology. Let’s do dinner at my place soon so we can properly meet your new lady friend. Lance.”

“Well Ladies and Gentleman, looks like the meal is on Mr. Bass today,” JC shared with everyone.

“Oh JC, he didn’t have to do that,” Colleen said.

“Yes he did,” JC said, showing Colleen the note.

“Predictable? So that’s just your standard move then?” she teased.

“The location may be a favorite but what happened was far from standard,” JC winked as he gave Colleen a quick kiss. A cheer startled them both as they turned to see Colleen’s friends applauding.

“Next time, do it with tongue,” Matthew encouraged.

Finally finished their meal, the group got up and headed to the exit. Outside, they made their goodbyes as Kyle gave Colleen a tight hug and proceeded to do the same with JC. As she hugged JC, she looked over his shoulder at Colleen and mouthed “He smells so good!”

“Now, I’m not pressuring for a reunion, I’m just saying if it occurs, please keep me in mind,” Matthew told JC.

“I think that might depend on how often you need to be measuring inseams,” JC joked.

“JC, I am a consummate professional. That said, I got a thing for bears so Joey better watch his ass...literally,” Matthew confirmed. JC burst out in laughter as Matthew said goodbye to Colleen. “Bitch, no excuses anymore. Thirsty Thursday this week. Schedule your Uber ahead of time cuz Pornstar Martinis are on the menu.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Colleen agreed as they hugged. She then turned to Sara. “And I promise that my next date night is with you and some guys named Ben & Jerry. I definitely want to catch up on everything.”

“Absolutely,” Sara smiled. “Again, I’m sorry I was such a bitch earlier. The past few weeks have been tough.”

“And I’m sorry I wasn’t around for them but I’m really looking forward to making up for lost time,” Colleen smiled back as the friends embraced. Sara gave JC a quick hug goodbye then JC proceeded to walk Colleen down the block to her car.

“So that...went,” JC chuckled.

“God, I’m so sorry,” Colleen cried out. “I thought they’d definitely give me some shit but I wasn’t ready for them to just out and out not believe me. Then, of course, you show up and all hell breaks loose and I didn’t want you to have to deal with that. You...you are amazing to have sat through that.” Colleen grabbed JC’s hand and kissed him in gratitude.

“Hey, it’s no problem. I get it, friends are your friends but they can be dicks sometimes. I’m sorry they didn’t believe you but I don’t understand why they wouldn’t? I mean, it’s not that crazy.”

Colleen bit her lip, trying to figure out how to navigate this. “Well, honestly, it kind of is. You have to remember we are all roughly the same age so one of your friends dating a guy who’s picture used to hang on your wall is pretty mind blowing.”

“Yeah, but that’s not who I am now.”

“I know and I’m sure they know that on some level, I think it was just the surprise of it all. Trust me, if Kyle had walked in with Leonardo DiCaprio unannounced, I probably would have reacted the same…except for running down the street part. I would have at least waited until after.”

“Oh, so Leo’s the mystery teen crush?”

“Leo didn’t put out an album so no, but I do like Leos,” Colleen winked. “Look, JC, I can’t thank you enough for coming to my rescue, I’m just sorry it came down to that. I didn’t know I was going to need some proof of life situation or I would have taken a picture of us beforehand or something to avoid you having to show up.”

“Wait,” JC stopped, “we don’t have a picture together?”

“No, I haven’t thought to take one.”

“Well that needs to change immediately,” JC said, pulling out his phone. He pulled Colleen close as they smiled for a selfie. “There, our first awkward brunch officially commerated,” JC joked as he texted the picture to Colleen.

Colleen beamed down at the photo now on her phone. “Don’t worry, I won’t put it on Instagram or anything.”

JC chuckled, “You can, just be prepared for it to be found and your entire feed to be scrutinized.”

“As I said, I won’t put it on Instagram,” Colleen confirmed as they reached her car. “So, any plans for the rest of the day?”

“Hmmm, I was hoping my beautiful girlfriend could come over to spend the evening.”

“I think that can be arranged,” Colleen smiled, going in for a kiss but tugging on JC’s lower lip just to tease him. “I definitely need to thoroughly thank you for today.”

JC fought the urge to push Colleen against her car and deepen their kiss. “I’ll meet you in the shower?” JC smirked.

“How about we try the bed this time? It sounds like that’s the only place you don’t have sex in your house.”

JC laughed, “I’m gonna kill Lance. Alright, the bed it is.” JC gave Colleen a quick kiss before heading to his bike. Colleen watched him walk away and broke out in a giant smile as she hurried into her car to head to his place.

Two weeks later, Colleen found herself standing next to JC on the front steps of Lance Bass and Michael Turchin’s house. “This is fucking weird,” she said out loud.

“Why?” JC chuckled.

“Because I know what the inside looks like from various things Lance has filmed over the years. I told you I watched that cooking show he was on with his Mom.”

“Trust me, it’s not nearly that exciting,” JC said as the door opened and Lance invited them in, giving them both a hug. 

“I didn’t know what you guys drink so I went the safe route,” Colleen said as she handed Lance a bottle of craft vodka. “One of my clients is part owner in a small distillery.”

“Thanks Colleen, that was very thoughtful of you,” Lance said, admiring the bottle. “Michael! Colleen brought booze, I like her already.”

Michael entered from the back yard and introduced himself to Colleen and gave JC a hug. “Good to see you, it’s been too long,” Michael told him.

“Yeah, been a weird year but, uh, things are looking on the up and up.”

“What can we get you both to drink?”

“I don’t know about you but I’m cracking open this vodka,” Lance decided. 

“You still have to cook, you know,” Michael reminded him.

“I’m making a freaking cocktail, calm down. You’re one to talk about drinking too much.”

“I get drunk on cable tv ONE time and you feel the need to bring it up anytime there's alcohol around,” Michael yelled sarcastically. He turned to Colleen and grabbed her hand. “He’s so mean to me,” he cried, pretending to sniff away tears.

“Oh, shut up, ya cry baby,” Lance yelled with a laugh as he entered the kitchen and pulled down four glasses from the cabinet.

“See!” Michael exclaimed.

JC laughed at the couple’s antics, “I’ve missed you two.”

“Well stop being a fucking hermit and visit more,” Lance chastised him. “Colleen, how do you like your vodka?”

“Potent.”

Lance grinned at JC, “Ok, yes, I like her.” Lance grabbed a few mixers from the pantry and debated what to make everyone.

“She likes Riesling so something fruity but not too sweet would probably work,” JC advised. 

“Well then she definitely came to the right house,” Lance laughed at his own joke. He then got an idea as he went to the fridge and pulled out some lemonade and blueberries and started concocting. “Knowing the drink order...JC, impressive.

“It’s nothing more than being observant. You know what Michael likes.”

“I’ve been with Michael for like 10 years, you two have been together 10 weeks, big difference.”

“Exactly. I know stuff about her because she’s my girlfriend. It’s nothing more than that, ok?”

“I think they forgot we’re here,” Michael whispered loudly to Colleen. “Let’s sneak out back and be rude and talk about them.”

“Take your drinks with you,” Lance commanded as he set out the cocktails he had made. They both went over to the kitchen counter and grabbed a glass. Michael gave Lance a quick kiss as Colleen did the same with JC before they both headed outside.

“She seems nice,” Lance said, handing JC his drink.

“Yeah, she’s, uh, I don’t know, there’s something special about this one.”

“Oh?” Lance replied, trying hard not to roll his eyes. There was always something special about each girl to JC but Lance found them to be carbon copies of each other time and time again. “Do tell.”

“Well, to start, she’s a lawyer…”

“You’ve dated a lawyer,” Lance interjected.

“No I didn’t,” JC stated, “I dated a law student.”

“Symantecs, but go on.” 

“As I was saying, she’s a lawyer so she’s really smart and witty. Plus, she’s established in her career so she knows how to prioritize herself and her work over me.”

Lance knew how much JC hated it when girlfriends came off as needy so that was a point in Colleen’s favor. However, Lance was well aware just because someone was independent now didn’t mean they couldn’t become clingy later.

“We like some of the same stuff but not too much so it’s nice to discover new things at my age.”

“You act like you’re some old man.”

“I am an old man,” JC argued.

“We are practically the same age and I’m not old so neither are you. What else you got?”

“She likes my cooking. She’s adventurous…”

“Shower sex isn’t that adventurous, JC,” Lance smiled.

“You know, if all you’re gonna do is shit on me about it, I’m really not sure why you invited me over,” JC glared.

“Ok, Ok, I’m sorry. I just haven’t been able to give you a good ribbing in person in a while. I never even met the chick before...what was her name?”

“Does it matter? She’s gone,” JC stated, trying not to think more about the baggage he still carried from his ex.

Lance stared at JC a long moment. He knew JC was pretty private with his personal life but to actively avoid the topic was out of character. He was going to have to text the other guys and see what they knew because pressuring him to talk more about it would just do the opposite. “So you called Colleen your girlfriend, you’ve met her friends; this is kind of serious for you.”

“I told you, she’s different,” JC tried to hide his smile. “I mean, just look at her with Michael out there. They’re already acting like friends just catching up. She can hold her own in conversation and doesn’t need me around as some crutch. I like it.”

“Well, I’m really happy for you, man. Any woman that can make you smile like that and can get you out of the house is good in my book. I must admit, for a while there I was getting worried you had gotten caught up with that Raina chick again.”

“I still see Raina,” JC said casually, taking another sip of his drink.

“Well, not now obviously.”

“Yes now, I saw her last week and before you get all judgy on me, Colleen does know and is fine with it.”

Lance stared in bewilderment. “Wow, I guess there really is something special about her cuz I wouldn’t be ok with my new boyfriend sleeping with someone else.”

“We don’t have sex, Lance.”

“She gets you off, JC. Just cuz you don’t put your dick in her doesn’t mean it’s not cheating.”

“Lance, with all due respect, I don’t have to explain my relationship to you. Why are there always ten thousand questions when I get a new girlfriend? It’s like you’re intentionally poking holes yet will still blame me when the boat sinks.”

“Good line, write that one down,” Lance prompted JC before proceeding. “I’m not trying to rain on your parade I just...I truly want you to be happy and I don’t...I hate watching you think you found the one only to have it not work out. You take it harder each time. I just want you to take your time before jumping in and, for you, this feels fast.”

“I honestly didn’t want to date her at first. We got set up and I just wanted someone to talk to about some stuff. She’s been completely supportive and non-judgemental and it won me over. I’m not shopping for a ring next week or anytime soon but I feel like she’s who I need in my life right now so can you please just accept that as reason enough?”

Lance could hear the pleading in JC’s voice and decided to relent. “Ok, reason enough...for now. But what do you mean you got set up? I thought you met her cuz you needed some contacts for your musical or something?”

“Yeah, I did,” JC confirmed, trying to cover his slip up. “I meant that the appointment was set up by a friend.”

Lance eyeballed JC over the rim of his glass, already suspecting the lie when his phone lit up with a FaceTime request. “Bad timing, Fatone,” he answered.

“Perfect timing,” Joey countered. “Isn’t it double date night? I wanna meet the new girlfriend.”

“No, Joey,” JC yelled.

“Here, you handle this,” Lance said, giving JC his phone. “I need to finish dinner.”

“Thanks,” JC stated to Lance sarcastically as he turned to Joey on the phone. “No, Joey.”

“Why not?” Joey whined.

“Because I don’t trust you.”

“Moí!” Joey pretended to be shocked. “When have I ever been anything short of a perfect gentleman?”

“Can I do just a top five cuz if I have to go chronologically, I’ll fall over from exhaustion before I even get out of the high school stories.”

“You’re a fuck,” Joey laughed. “I’ll be good, put her on.”

“She’s out talking to Michael.”

“Did Lance get a new wall mounted smart phone? Walk out there, lazy!”

“Maybe later, Joey. I’m trying to slowly integrate her into this group of crazy friends.”

Joey huffed and rolled his eyes, “I have to do everything by myself around here.” Joey smiled, gave JC the middle finger and disconnected the call.

“Did I miss the message where you told all the guys about tonight?” JC questioned Lance as he handed him back his phone.

“Of course. You know they’re gonna want to know anyway so I just gave them the heads up. No surprise Joey was the impatient one,” Lance joked, putting his phone in his back pocket. “So what friend was it that set you two up, your meeting, I mean.”

JC tried to play it cool, hoping Lance would have dropped the inquisition. “Uh, Jimmy had some connection with her from a previous venture he had worked on.”

“Why didn’t you just use the same lawyer from the Girl Radical contracts?”

“Cuz I just didn’t, ok?” JC said angrily, turning to view out the window to the back yard. He could see Colleen holding up a phone talking to someone and laughing. “Stop hitting on my girlfriend, Joey!” he shouted.

Lance turned to look out into the yard to see Colleen and Michael laughing hysterically. “He’s not one to give up,” Lance chuckled.

“Reminds me of someone else I know, JC said flippantly, going to pour himself another drink.

“Har, har, har,” Lance responded. “Sorry, I know I’m digging I just...when you said you just wanted someone to talk to about stuff, you know I’m glad you found that and all but, I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little offended. You know you can always call me to talk over anything you need, anytime.”

“Yeah, I know Lance, and thank you but as I said, she has my back and doesn’t judge me. I love you but I’ve been here like half an hour and I’ve gotten neither of those things from you.”

Lance turned to JC, genuinely hurt. “JC, I’m sorry if I made you feel that way. You’re my brother and I love you too. I hate that you feel you can’t talk to me about some of the stuff going on in your life.”

“How am I supposed to do that when you already showed your disdain for a part of my life that you dismiss because you don’t understand it?”

Lance mentally replayed their conversation in his head. “What? You mean about Raina? Look, JC, you’re right, I don’t understand it and perhaps I should try to a bit more.” Lance paused, putting the puzzle pieces together. “You said she knows about Raina so she understands it?”

“Yes, she does and that’s...I can’t even describe how amazing that feels.”

“JC, are you dating a dominatrix?” Lance questioned intently.

“No, I’m not dating a dominatrix,” JC laughed. “Quite the opposite actually.” Lance’s eyes widened and JC instantly knew he’d said too much.

“You met her at the club!” Lance said excitedly, trying with all his might not to attract the attention of the couple outside. “Holy shit! She’s into kink like you! This makes so much sense now!”

“Lance, I swear to God, you tell any of the other guys, I will castrate you myself and ensure you can only bottom for the rest of your life.”

“Jesus, ok, I won’t tell. You don’t have to be so harsh,” Lance quickly agreed, covering his crotch with his hand. “You know what? Honestly, I kind of love this. Whatever it is you do is important to you so I think it’s great you have someone to share that with,” Lance smiled. “Wait, how exactly does the sex work then?”

“Well, I still put my penis in her vagina so it doesn’t change much.”

“You know what I mean,” Lance laughed.

“Right now, I like discovering what she likes and giving that to her and I would hope she’d say the same. Other girlfriends have always tried too hard, Colleen doesn’t have to, she just gets it. She’s not trying to be a replacement for Raina.”

“You think that mentality will last?”

“I don’t know but for now I’m willing to trust it. She said she’s not looking to change me and doesn’t want me trying to change her. We respect each other’s situation and right now are working on further exploring them to ensure we’re both cool with what the other is doing.”

“You are way more progressive than I am,” Lance chuckled. “I really hope the best for the both of you. It’s unique, to say the least, but you never do anything in a traditional manner so this really does sound like a great way to approach it.”

“Thanks,” JC smiled. “Now can we finally get some food started. I’m about to gnaw at a limb.” Lance laughed and went back to prepping dinner.

Outside meanwhile, Michael and Colleen had settled into a pair of lounge chairs under a large umbrella as they sipped their drinks. “Now which one do I have?” Colleen asked as one of Lance and Michael’s puppies curled up in her lap. 

“That’s Dale,” Michael informed her. “I can move him if you want.”

“No, he’s fine,” Colleen confirmed, giving Dale some pets.

“So, how’d you two meet?”

“At work, oddly enough. His friend and I have worked together so recommended me to him.”

“You’re a lawyer, right?”

“Yeah, entertainment law. He just needed some basic stuff for his musical so I got him what he needed and then he asked me out to dinner,” Colleen laughed.

“Presumptuous of him to assume you were single,” Michael smirked.

“JC seems pretty confident in his abilities, well, with women at least. I’m sure if I had told him I was dating someone, he would have taken it in stride.”

“Were you like “Ok, cool” or like “Oh My God, it’s JC Chasez!”?” Michael asked, fanning his face for extra emphasis.

Colleen laughed. “Somewhere in between,” she lied. “I mean, I’m not dumb, I knew who he was so, yeah, a celebrity asks you out, it’s flattering for sure. I’m sure you had the same thing with Lance when you first started dating.”

“I tried hard not to think about it but, yeah, there was definitely a point where I was like “Holy shit, what is life?”.” Michael confessed. “You get over it. I’m guessing it’s different with JC though. Lance is still really active in the entertainment industry whereas JC wants to hide under a rock most of the time. You know, he doesn’t want to sing and...well I was going to say I get it but I completely don’t but whatever...at least get out and see your friends, you know?”

“I knew JC kept to himself but I didn’t realize he was quite so anti-social.”

“He wasn’t always. Even after he stepped back from the limelight a few years ago, he at least came around and would hang out. Then, like a year or so ago, he started dating someone and just disappeared. Then he pops back up with you and, hey look, I’m not trying to find out what happened, I just wanna say it makes me happy to actually see my friend again and see him so happy.”

Colleen blushed. “Well, he makes me pretty happy too. The ex seems like a touchy subject so I don’t really know what happened there nor have I ventured to ask. JC seems like a guy who will talk about it when he’s ready.”

“Fair,” Michael acquessed before switching the topic. “So I heard he met some of your friends. How did that go?”

“Ugh, horrible,” Colleen said, throwing her head back in exasperation. “My initial plan was just to tell them but they absolutely didn’t believe me so I had to text JC for back up. He showed up and they completely lost their minds.”

“My sister did the same thing when I started dating Lance. She knew I knew him but called me a liar when we started dating. I finally sent her a picture of us kissing and she called me and screamed for 20 minutes.”

“God, imagine if it would have been a Backstreet Boy, she probably would have fought you for him.”

Michael eyed Colleen. “How did you know my sister was a Backstreet Boys fan?”

“I’m pretty sure I heard you say that at some point,” Colleen brushed off.

“Oh? And where exactly was that?” Michael asked, his interest piqued.

“Oh gosh, I don’t know. Maybe on Lisa Vanderpump’s podcast? I’m a Housewife’s fan so I’ve listened to your Reality Roundup episodes on Lance’s old podcast so maybe there?” Colleen knew she couldn’t pretend she knew nothing about the guys but she was treading in dangerous water and felt the shark that was Michael circling her.

“Did you catch the *Nterviews?” Michael prodded.

“I heard the highlights. Justin’s, of course, was covered by a bunch of outlets.”

“Did you hear JC’s?”

“Not all of it. I’m glad Lance asked him about his solo career cuz I always wondered what happened with that but by no surprise, JC kept fairly tight lipped.”

“So you know his solo stuff?”

“Not much. I know Blowing Me Up and the song where he sings about sex the whole time…”

“That’s like every song of his,” Michael interjected.

“Yeah, well, not surprised but I know him mostly from *NSYNC.”

“So you were a fan?”

“I mean, I was a teenaged girl when they were huge. Of course I was a fan to some extent.”

“Who’s poster was on your wall?”

“Oh, I don’t know, it was so long ago.” Colleen was practically sweating. She didn’t want Michael or any of them to know how long she’d lusted after JC before meeting him. 

“Did you go to any of the concerts?”

“I did...is this some kind of test because I don’t know if I’m passing or failing?”

“Just trying to figure something out,” Michael asked demurely as he sipped his drink.

Colleen was growing frustrated with the cat and mouse game Michael was playing. “Would it really be that bad if I was a fan? You’d think having someone supportive of your career would be a good thing.”

“You’d think but not for JC. He’s very weird about the idea of dating a fan.”

“Oh come on, he’s dated literally dozens of women before me. You can’t tell me at least one of them wasn’t a fan.”

“I’m sure there were. JC’s just...he’s certainly not ashamed of his past by any means but he views it as exactly that, the past.”

“It’s the whole JC/Josh duality complex he has going on. He spent so many years as JC to the public that now he just wants to be Josh and put JC on the back burner. I respect that but also, they’re two sides of the same coin. You can’t have one without the other and I don’t think he knows how to reconcile the two.”

Michael took a long moment before responding. “You are SO a fan! No way you put that together after a couple weeks of dating.”

Colleen sat up and looked directly at Michael. “Don’t tell JC,” they both said simultaneously. Colleen stared back at Michael in mild horror. She was afraid of this, that the fact she wanted JC would be the reason he wouldn’t want her in return.

“I’m fucked, aren’t I?” Colleen groaned, finally admitting defeat.

“You aren’t fucked, you’re just...be prepared for him to be weirded out by it. It’s not you, it’s him. He doesn’t know how to take a compliment.”

“I never thought I’d be frustrated by hearing someone say “I’m humbled” as many times as he has,” Colleen laughed, shaking her head.

Just then, Michael’s phone rang. “Oh hey Joey!” he answered the FaceTime call.

“Michael, thanks for wearing a shirt this time,”

Joey answered. “I heard you were chatting with JC’s girlfriend and I wanted to meet her.”

“I thought you all had a meeting scheduled for later to discuss how the evening went,” Michael said, getting a kick out of watching Colleen try to hide her face in the cushion of the chair.

“We do but I don’t want Lance’s hearsay, I want to find out for myself.”

“You realize she’s right next to me and can hear everything you’re saying, right?”

“Then put her on, you bastard!” Joey demanded with a laugh.

Michael rolled his eyes and handed Colleen his phone. “Apparently it’s for you, good luck.”

Colleen took the phone to see Joey Fatone’s smiling face peering back at her. “Hi, I’m Joey. I’m assuming that makes you Colleen, correct?”

“Last I checked,” Colleen couldn’t help giggling.

“Well, let me get a good look at you.”

“What?” Colleen questioned.

“I’m in Florida and don’t know when I’ll be out to meet you in person so just wanted to get to know you a little better.”

“Translation: he wants to see how hot you are,” Michael added.

“Rude, Michael, simply rude,” Joey stated, shaking his head. “How do we learn about the whole of a person without seeing the whole person?”

“Joey Fatone: singer, actor, philosopher,” Michael sarcastically replied. 

“Ok ok, fine,” Colleen conceded through her laughter. She held the phone up and angled down at her body. “How’s that?”

“I’m beginning to get a clearer picture but how about you…”

“Stop hitting on my girlfriend, Joey!” JC shouted from inside the house, making both Michael and Colleen double over in laughter. Dale growled at his seat being moved as Colleen worked to get herself back into her previous position.

“He ruins all my fun,” Joey lamented. “Well, good luck with him, Colleen. Hope you enjoy sleeping with a wet blanket.”

“It’s not the blanket he gets wet, Joey,” Colleen countered with an exaggerated wink.

“Whoa hoa hoa!” Joey laughed in surprise then wagged his finger at the phone. “You, young lady...I like you. Ok, seriously, have fun tonight and just tune out if Lance starts talking about space or Mississippi. I’ll let JC know when I’m in L.A. next and we can do dinner.”

“Sounds great, Joey. I’d love to meet you,” Colleen smiled and waved goodbye as she handed the phone back to Michael.

“Are you done using me for the day?” Michael asked Joey with a smirk.

“For today. Appreciate the help,” Joey said as he kissed the lense of his phone so Michael got a screen full of Joey’s lips and ended the call.

“So how’s that for your fan girl heart?” Michael joked.

“I feel like I just went through some weird initiation,” Colleen laughed as she finished her drink.

“You did. Getting hit on by Joey is a right of passage. He still grabs my ass every time I see him.”

Colleen’s laughter died down and she grew serious. “Michael, I know we just met so you don’t owe me anything but please don’t tell JC I’m a fan. I’ve been trying to hint to him this whole time and he’s still not getting it.”

“I won’t, sweetie,” Michael promised. “Just how big a fan are we talking here?”

“I went to 17 tapings of America’s Best Dance Crew,” Colleen confessed, biting her lip.

“Ok, yeah, that’s….maybe leave that detail out. Like, is it just JC or all of the guys? Mostly I’m just trying to make sure you aren’t going to steal anything from my house.”

Colleen chuckled. “I’m a fan of all the guys, as a group and individually, but it’s always been JC for me.”

“And now your fucking him,” Michael said, raising his glass.

“And now I’m fucking him!” Colleen stated proudly, raising her empty glass to meet his.

“Honestly Colleen, you seem very nice and it’s obvious JC really likes you. Just tell him how you feel.”

“You said it’s gonna weird him out.”

“I did and...it will but it’ll be even worse the longer you wait. If this keeps going, he’s going to figure it out at some point.”

Colleen pouted, knowing Michael was right. “Why the hell is it so hard to tell the guy I’m dating I like him?”

“Cuz you aren’t telling your boyfriend, you’re telling the guy you’ve had a crush for God knows how long. They just happen to be the same person. You’re doing the same thing JC is doing by separating the two.”

“Damn you’re smart,” Colleen responded in awe at Michael’s spot on observation.

“I’m more than the Instagram himbo people make me out to be,” Michael winked as he now finished his drink.

Soon enough, Lance announced dinner was ready as the four came together at the table set up outside to enjoy the cool weather. Colleen loved watching JC and Lance reminisce about their touring days as they both would erupt into fits of laughter at the slightest mention of a name or an event. It was probably the most Colleen had seen JC laugh in one evening since she met him and she realized how bittersweet the moment was. It was obvious to everyone but himself  how much he missed his friends and his former life and while she knew there were probably a litany of reasons why a formal reunion wasn’t easy, she hoped one day he would get out of his own way.

Michael and Colleen had decided to turn Joey’s advice about Lance into a drinking game, sipping their cocktails discreetly every time Lance mentioned space or Mississippi. They reached drink number 4 by the end of dinner whereupon Michael decided to give Colleen a tour of the house, letting her scope out some of Lance’s memorabilia and freak out without arousing the suspicion of the other two.

Evening turned into night as JC and Colleen decided to head out around 11pm. “Thank you again for having us over,” Colleen said, giving both Lance and Michael a hug. “It was really great getting to know you both.”

“Anytime,” Lance said, “if you can get JC to come over more often, I’m all for it.”

“Fuck him,” Michael joked, “as long as you bring more of the vodka, I don’t care who you show up with.”

JC gave Michael a fake pout before laughing and giving both his friends a hug and saying goodbye. Lance and Michael watched the couple get in JC’s car and back out of the driveway before closing the front door.

“We need to talk,” they both said to the other the moment the lock clicked on the door. They studied each other a moment before simultaneously saying, “What do you know?”

Lance and Michael gasped and pointed at each other. Michael broke into a wide grin as he ran into the kitchen and yelled, “Oh God, please tell me there’s still more vodka!”

“I’m still not sure this is a good idea,” Piper paced the dressing room, wringing her hands.

“You were the one who wanted to get them together in the first place,” Raina pointed out as she filed her nails on the couch. 

“Yeah but my plan was to have them play some kinky grab ass here where we could watch them. This turned into a full blown relationship. There’s a lot more riding on this now and I don’t want to be the one that screws it up.”

“Why are you putting so much pressure on yourself? They’re adults and can make their own decisions…ok, one of them can make their own decisions,” Raina laughed.

“Leena can make her own decisions,” Piper scowled.

“No, Colleen can make her own decisions. Leena can smile and be pretty and even that you have to tell her to do.”

“Well, Colleen decided it’s time to have Josh join her in a session and I’m going to accommodate best I can.”

“Who’s exactly in charge of who here?” Raina prodded.

“Oh, cuz when Josh wanted to bring in some girl, you said no, right?” Raina didn’t respond and Piper knew she had made her point. “It’s been a good while since I’ve done a couple.”

“It’s been far too long since I’ve seen you work. I have to admit I’m looking forward to it. I normally only get to see the fruits of your labor.”

“We aren’t going full tilt tonight. Colleen and I discussed it and she wants to go slow so she’ll be all prepped before you two get in there. Apparently she still hasn’t told him about her years of crushing on him so she’s overly anxious and I don’t think I could get her through the whole process in front of him right now anyways.”

“Christ, she hasn’t told him?! Can’t wait until I have to deal with that fall out,” Raina huffed. “Can’t you just make her?”

“My domination and yours aren’t the same. She’s not ready and I’m not going to force her. This is a big step for her, for them. It’s more than just her introducing the guy she’s dating to her kink, it’s the first guy ever she’s exploring this with. Add on the pressure of it being the guy she’s imagined doing most of this with over the years and the stakes are really high.”

“I suppose I didn’t think of it like that,” Raina softened, mulling it over. She thought back to the first woman Joshua had brought to see her years ago, how nervous but excited he was to finally share this part of himself with the person he envisioned his future with. She also witnessed the devastating toll it took on him when she strung him along for nearly a year with promises she never intended to keep. It was as the old saying goes; the first cut was the deepest and while he’d never admit it, the poison she inflicted on him still ran deep in his veins. Raina didn’t want this woman to suffer the same fate. “How can I help?” she asked Piper.

“Just keep him calm if he gets wiggly. He’s never had to experience someone else’s kink before so while he’ll think it’ll be the same, we both know it’s not.”

“I thought you were the Mistress of Calm,” Raina smirked. “How much has she told him anyway?”

“Enough that he’s tried some moves on her so she’s slowly breaking him in. I think he believes it’s similar to what you two do and just tweaks the phrasing to suit her. I’m worried he doesn’t actually know what he’s getting himself into.”

“Guess there’s only one way to find out,” Raina stated, standing up and heading to touch up her makeup.

About a half hour later, Piper entered Raina’s room to find her and Josh waiting. “Alright, a couple rules first,” she directed at Josh. “Number 1: My dungeon, my domain. You will also address me as Mistress for the remainder of the evening. Understood?”

“Understood…uh, Mistress,” Josh answered, feeling odd using the title on anyone other than Mistress Raina.

“Number 2: I may ask you to do some things but you can feel free to say no. You still answer to Mistress Raina however so you obey her as you normally would. Number 3: Ask any and all questions you have. Tonight’s all about education. Most importantly, Number 4: If you get uncomfortable, just say so calmly and we’ll take a breather. You know the harm trying to power through or freaking out will do.”

“I understand, Mistress,” Josh responded. This already felt way different from his sessions with Mistress Raina but not in a bad way. He wondered how Colleen was handling all this. She had finally agreed to have him join her but he knew how apprehensive she was. He hadn’t thought the experience would be that different from his own but could already tell it would be.

“Any questions before we start?” Mistress Piper asked him.

“No Mistress, I’m ready,” Josh announced as he breathed deep. His focus was on making sure Colleen felt as comfortable as possible. They had driven over together and he asked her one more time if she was ready for this. She assured him she was all while shaking like a leaf in his arms. While he didn’t like how nervous she was, seeing her that vulnerable was yet another layer he was discovering about her. He kept telling himself the same was true for tonight.

Without another word, the trio walked down the hall and entered Mistress Piper’s room. On her own worn out spot on the floor, Leena stood at attention in the same pink bubblegum latex dress Josh had first seen her in. Her face looked tense as they settled in and Mistress Piper walked right over to her and gently grabbed her wrist. She then stood in front of Leena so that Josh couldn’t see what was happening but when Mistress Piper finally moved, Leena looked much more relaxed.

“Is she ok, Mistress?” Josh asked, growing concerned.

“Her pulse sped up when we walked in, which I’m not surprised about,” Mistress Piper informed him. “She’s just a bit nervous but I reminded her there’s nothing to be nervous about, isn’t that right, Leena?”

“Yes Mistress,” Leena smiled.

Josh’s cock twitched when he heard Leena speak. It was the same soft happy voice he’d first heard when he met her but far from any way he’d heard Colleen ever speak since. It was exciting in that it was different.

“Well, let’s not be rude, Leena,” Mistress Piper lightly chided her. “Say hello to Josh.”

“Yes Mistress,” Leena responded before focusing her eyes on Josh and giving him a wide grin. “Hello Josh.”

Josh crooked an eyebrow. He was completely intrigued and kind of turned on at whatever kinky role play was happening.

“Everything ok, Josh?” Mistress Piper asked.

“I, uh, yes Mistress,” he answered, still eyeing Leena who hadn’t moved a muscle.

“Josh, if you don’t tell me what’s going on in your head, this is going to get real awkward real fast.”

“And if you don’t tell her, she has ways of getting it out of you,” Mistress Raina smirked from the back of the room, practically making Josh jump as he had nearly forgotten she was there.

“Don’t scare him,” Mistress Piper said to her colleague. “Josh, you don’t have to be quite so formal with your speech with me. Just talk, you’re fine.”

Josh licked his lips. “I’ve never seen her like this, Mistress. I’m not really sure where we are going with this but so far I like it.”

“That’s why we go slow,” Mistress Piper informed him. “Leena, why don’t you give Josh here a welcome kiss to make him feel a little better.”

“Yes Mistress,” Leena replied, walking over to Josh. Her gait was slower than normal, more seductive without trying to be. It was like she was lighter, almost. Josh wondered if that was how he looked to others when Mistress Raina was commanding him. 

Leena stood right in front of Josh and leaned in, placing her lips upon his gently. Instinct took over as Josh wrapped his arms around her and deepened their kiss. Leena let him proceed but made no move to match him. Josh pulled back breathlessly and stared down at her still smiling face. “Jesus,” he breathed, brushing her hair behind her ear. “You weren’t kidding when you said you wanted to be a mindless little sex doll.”

“Excellent!” Mistress Piper clapped her hands. “Now we are getting somewhere. Tell me, Josh. What’s something you’ve wanted Leena to do you’ve been a little trepidatious to ask for?”

“Do a strip tease, Mistress,” Josh said without hesitation.

Mistress Piper chuckled. “Why are men so predictable? Grab that seat and bring it forward.” She pointed Josh to a wooden chair against the wall. He picked it up and put it in the center of the room. “Sit,” she instructed. “Get ready to enjoy the show.”

“Now Leena,” Mistress Piper began, coming up behind and turning her to face Josh’s seated figure. “Josh would like you to do a strip tease. Would you like to do that for him?”

“Yes Mistress,” Leena answered back.

“Good girl. Pick any song you like and hear it fill up your mind just like at a crowded club. You’ve taken Josh to a private room and very much intend to put as much teasing into your time with him as possible. You can touch him however you want but he won’t be touching you.”

“What?” Josh asked, shocked by Mistress Piper’s statement.

“Strip club rules, Josh. No touching the talent.” Mistress Raina provided some silent claps of approval at this plan. Mistress Piper gave Leena a quick smack on her butt with one simple command: “Obey.”

Josh watched Leena’s eyes darken with lust and her smile turn into a nearly wicked sneer as she slowly slinked her way over to him. His breath caught in his throat as he watched her change effortlessly from docile play thing to predator in mere seconds. It turned him on in a way he hadn’t expected and he knew he wanted to see it again.

Leena came up behind Josh and ran her hands down his chest. “Hello Josh,” she whispered low in his ear, the intonation the polar opposite of when she had greeted him just minutes earlier. “So glad you decided to spend a little bit of time with me tonight.” Her left hand reached down to run over the growing bulge in Josh’s pants, making him moan as he closed his eyes and dropped his head backwards, fully immersing himself in the fantasy. “I can see you’re glad to spend some time with me as well.”

“Yes,” Josh breathed through already gritted teeth.

“Happy to give you some…personal attention,” Leena teased seductively as she stood up and ran her hand softly over Josh’s shoulders and down one arm as she circled to face him. Her hips swayed to a beat that only she could hear as she locked eyes with Josh and began to caress her body for his enjoyment.

Josh watched as Leena rhythmically moved, flipping her hair this way and that, playing with her latex clad breasts, all of which were working to drive him wild. He was still amazed to see his girlfriend acting with this much abandon but he was loving every second of it.

Leena walked closer and quickly dropped low in front of him, pushing his knees apart as she slowly slid her body up his. When she was almost eye level, she turned around and grinded her ass onto Josh’s cock, making him cry out in frustration as he grabbed the sides of the chair to keep from grabbing Leena. She proceeded to lift herself up to straddle Josh’s lap fully as she looped her legs around his own and leaned her torso towards the floor so her ass was mere inches from Josh’s face, her dress now risen up to expose the thinnest of g-strings barely covering her.

“Jesus Christ!” Josh exclaimed as he watched her gyrate on him. Josh fancied himself a breast man but he was transfixed by what Leena was doing on top of him.

“Wow,” Raina said to Piper as they both watched the scene unfold. “Did you have any idea she could do that?”

“Not a clue,” Piper admitted.

Leena crawled her hands back and pushed herself up once again into a seated position as she unhooked her legs and pivoted herself to face Josh. She pushed her breasts up and in and held Josh’s gaze as she stuck her tongue out to lick over the tender flesh she could reach. She then thrust her cleavage into Josh’s face as he bit his lip, knowing he couldn’t do anything. Leena pulled down the straps of her dress and released her tits from their latex encasement while Josh’s head still lay between them. She pulled back and held them up for Josh’s viewing pleasure, rolling her nipples between her thumb and forefinger. Josh had seen her naked several times at this point but this was something different.

“That’s enough, Leena. Relax,” Mistress Piper commanded as she headed towards the couple. Just like that, Leena dropped her hands and stared forward, the fire instantaneous gone from her eyes and practically looking through Josh instead of at him.

Josh gasped at the suddenness of Leena’s actions and stared back at her open mouthed, trying to find any words to speak. “You look like you have questions,” Mistress Piper laughed softly.

“How…wha…I…,” Josh tried to get out.

“Perhaps we need to back up a bit,” Mistress Piper advised. “Leena, stand up and redress.”

“Yes Mistress,” Leena answered and did as she was told. Josh never took his eyes off her as she silently completed her task then stood back at attention, staring off into space.

Mistress Piper could see the wheels spinning a mile a minute in Josh’s brain. “Say what you’re thinking out loud, Josh.”

“Right now I’m thinking my girlfriend paid off law school on a pole, Mistress.”

Mistress Piper let out a laugh at Josh’s statement. “Reasonable assessment given what we just witnessed. Would it be an issue if she did?”

“No, Mistress.”

“Good. What else are you thinking?”

“I don’t understand how her personality flipped that fast, Mistress. I understand role playing but this was like…it was like she literally turned into someone else.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“Oddly turned on, Mistress,” Josh admitted.

“Why oddly?”

“Because I feel like I shouldn’t enjoy my girlfriend like this, Mistress.”

“Like what exactly?”

“Like she’s hypnotized or something, Mistress.”

“Well, she is,” Mistress Piper informed him.

Josh blinked long and hard. “Come again?”

Mistress Piper gave a low laugh as she stood behind Leena and ran her hands down Leena’s arms. “Colleen came to me because the rigors of her job were becoming too much and she wasn’t sleeping and was basically just a big ball of stress. She gave me the rundown of things she had tried to help and I realized she hadn’t tried hypnosis yet.”

“No offense, Mistress, but don’t you need some sort of license or formal training for that?”

“I have a Doctorate in Clinical Hypnotherapy and a practice in Ventura County if that assuages any concerns.” Josh nodded, surprised and impressed, and continued to listen. “I offered and after a few minutes of avoiding the question, she finally admitted she was afraid she’d like it too much so she never tried it. Getting her calm was the hardest part but when I finally did, she was out like a light.”

“So that’s what she meant by liking to not think…” Josh said really to himself but Mistress Piper answered.

“Exactly. It’s not that uncommon, it’s just a different type of submission than you’re used to.”

Josh was used to meditating when he started to get overwhelmed. Sometimes he could do it himself but other times he needed some guidance and would normally find some video on YouTube that would help him out. He always felt more centered and refreshed when he was finished so he could see where someone might find that feeling invigorating in a different way.

“So how did that turn into this, Mistress?” Josh asked, gesturing at his still blank faced girlfriend.

“Because when you repress a desire that long, once you give in, you give in completely. Plus, she had convinced herself she wouldn’t meet anyone who she could act out those desires with. My job here is to let people have those experiences and I’m happy to do that for her.”

“I can relate to that, Mistress,” Josh stated, mentally recalling so many of his former flames he’d tried and failed to have that connection with, always ending up at Mistress Raina’s door time and time again.

“Any other questions?” Mistress Piper asked.

“So…you can make her do…anything, Mistress?”

“Simple answer, no. This isn’t the movies, Josh. I can’t snap my fingers and turn her into an assassin. All I’m doing is giving her natural inclinations a nudge. I didn’t tell her to put on a strip show, I asked. Once she agreed, I then told her how to imagine the scene playing out. She’s the one that initiated the lap dance, I had nothing to do with that but that’s where her mind took the suggestions I gave her. However, she easily could’ve said no if it was something she wasn’t comfortable with.”

“With all due respect, Mistress, but I simply don’t believe that.”

“And why is that?”

“Because I saw what you did to Justin, Mistress.”

Mistress Piper took a moment to understand what Josh was saying but once it hit her, she let out a long laugh. “Oh my God, I had forgotten all about that! Now I know why you’ve been giving me the side eye for years. Well, mystery solved on how that evening ended.” Mistress Piper let her laughter die down as she composed herself once more.

“Josh, let me make something explicitly clear: if somebody doesn’t want to do something, no matter what kind of altered state they are in, they aren’t going to do it.” Mistress Piper could see that Josh was still skeptical. “A demonstration to prove my point then. Leena, please walk over and give Mistress Raina a kiss.”

“No thank you, Mistress,” Leena responded immediately.

“Rude,” Mistress Raina scoffed.

Mistress Piper continued. “I’m willing to admit my methods were a bit more unscrupulous in my younger days but that doesn’t change the fact that no one can make you do something you simply do not want to do. No one can make you work out if you hate it. No one can turn you into a cute submissive domestic if you didn’t already have the desire in you. And certainly, no one can make you develop feelings for someone that weren’t already there.” 

Josh stared at Mistress Piper, trying to wrap his brain around everything she had just said. Her explanation made sense but he’d seen her handy work first hand. Justin practically had a panic attack when he realized what was happening. He swore up and down Mistress Piper had done something to him and Josh believed him outright. Josh had tried to talk to him about it several times later but Justin refused. He always assumed Justin was embarrassed but now he wondered if his friend had been lying to him all this time.

“I think that’s enough for this evening,” Mistress Piper stated, interrupting Josh’s thoughts. “Obviously you have a lot to process and you two should check in with each other and see where you’re at. Just do me a favor and let it go for tonight. She’s not gonna be up for any heavy conversation and she’s got work in the morning. Just concentrate on getting her to bed and let her go through her day tomorrow until she’s ready to talk.”

“Yes Mistress,” Josh agreed.

“If you’re still interested in learning more, next time I’ll teach you about triggers.”

“I thought you said the movie schtick isn’t real, Mistress?”

“Technically I said I can’t turn her into an assassin. If you want to believe a word or phrase will affect you, it will. There’s a reason they say the brain is the most powerful part of our bodies.”

“No offense, Mistress, but that sounds like something out of a B-Horror movie to me.”

“Joshua, kneel!” Mistress Raina suddenly commanded. Josh instantly dropped to his knees, nearly kicking the chair he had been sitting in over in the process.

“You were saying?” Mistress Piper teased, ruffling Josh’s hair.

“I…kneel corrected, Mistress,” Josh admitted, shaking his head as a small laugh escaped his lips.

“Training comes in all forms,” Mistress Piper stated. “Alright, both of you out. I need to take care of Leena. This pretty girl deserves a reward for making it through this.” Josh watched as a shiver of excitement ran through Leena’s body and he was suddenly jealous he wouldn’t get to watch what was about to transpire.

“Come along, Joshua. I’m feeling generous and I may grant you a reward too,” Mistress Raina informed him.

Josh stood and addressed Mistress Piper. “Thank you, Mistress. I learned a lot tonight and I appreciate you taking the time to explain some things to me.” With that, Josh turned and followed Mistress Raina out of the room.

About 20 minutes later, Josh found himself in the familiar spot of waiting for Leena in the lounge. He had cum hard by Mistress Raina’s hand as she teased him with wickedly evil ideas of what she would make him do if she could control him like Mistress Piper did to Leena. Two hours ago, he would have found her words strange but now, he was beginning to see the appeal.

Leena stuck her head out the door cautiously, almost afraid to see Josh. He stood up as soon as he saw her, greeting her with a warm smile. “Hey Babe, how you doing?”

“Hey,” Leena said softly, “how are you doing?” 

“I’m good,” he reassured her, taking her hand and pulling her into a soft kiss.

“We probably need to talk,” Leena quietly suggested. 

“Whatever you want to talk about, we can, but not tonight,” Josh told her, heeding Mistress Piper’s advice. “For now, we need to get you to bed.” Josh led Leena by the hand out into the alleyway and to his convertible.

Colleen breathed deep as she settled into her seat and turned her head to watch JC hop in and start the engine. “Thank you,” she smiled, grabbing JC's hand that rested on the gear shift.

“Thank you, Babe,” JC emphasized. “Not only did I learn something new tonight, I learned something new about you, which is much more important.”

“You don’t think I’m weird?”

“It would be pretty hypocritical if I did but no, I don’t think you’re weird,” JC squeezed her hand and leaned over to kiss her nose. Colleen smiled and yawned. “Take a nap, Sleepy Babe. I’ll wake you up when I get you home.”

“Sleepy Babe,” Colleen giggled. “I like that.” With a contented sigh, Colleen shut her eyes and fell fast asleep. JC watched as her body relaxed and smiled as he carefully removed her hand from his and put the car into drive. Every day felt like a new adventure with Colleen and he realized he didn’t want that feeling to stop anytime soon. They’d talk when she was ready but as JC drove, there was a more pressing conversation that weighed on his mind: the one he needed to have with Justin.

“Hey!” Justin answered the FaceTime call joyfully the next day. “This is a surprise.” Justin brought his youngest son Phinn into view. “Can you say hi to Uncle C?” Phinn looked at the phone then turned to his Dad and blew a raspberry all over his face as his attempt to say the letter. Justin shut his eyes and sighed as Phinn giggled and JC tried to stifle a laugh. “Good try, buddy. You’ll get it next time,” Justin encouraged as he wiped his face.

“Yo man, I didn’t know you were watching the kids. I can call back if this is a bad time.”

“I’m good, man. What’s up?”

“Um, it’s kind of important and probably not a good conversation for little ears to hear,” JC cautioned, seeing Silas running around in the background.

Justin eyed JC skeptically. It was already unlike him to FaceTime let alone call. He could barely get JC to answer a text half the time. Whatever was going on he knew was more than kind of important.

“Hey Jess!” Justin shouted. “I got a phone call I need to take. I’m gonna head out to the backyard. Can you keep an eye on the boys?”

“Sure thing!” JC heard his wife yell back as Justin moved through his house to the outside.

“You in Montana?” JC asked.

“Yeah, a little down time right now. We’ll be back in L.A. in a week or so cuz my shooting schedule will kick off.”

“Cool cool, sounds like a great project.”

“Should be, I’m excited for it.” Justin let the silence hang for a moment. “So, you wanted to talk?”

“Yeah, sorry,” JC apologized. He was suddenly regretting wanting to see Justin face to face when doing this. “I wanted to talk to you about Colleen. Well, not exactly about Colleen but…yeah let’s start there.”

“Awww, look at you, you’re blushing,” Justin teased. “You’re a couple months in and you already need to have the commitment pep talk? I think this is definitely a record but I’ll check my score card to make sure.”

“That’s not why I’m calling, Justin,” JC informed him, not cracking a smile at his joke.

“Oh shit, ok,” Justin grew serious, sitting down in a lounge chair. “What’s going on?”

“When’s the last time you talked to Lance?” JC asked.

“Lance? Ummmm, I don’t know, a couple weeks maybe? Why?”

“What did he say after our double date over at his place?”

“He said Colleen seemed nice and brought some great booze and Michael really likes her. Said you seem pretty smitten.”

“Did he say anything about how we met?”

“I don’t think so. Wasn’t it at her office or something?”

JC breathed a sigh of relief, thankful he wouldn’t be having an altercation with two of his bandmates today so he could concentrate on just the one. “That’s not entirely true. We did actually meet a few days earlier…at the club.”

Justin was silent for a moment, working hard to keep his face neutral. “Oh. I didn’t realize you were still doing that.”

“I never stopped doing that,” JC replied. While technically a lie, JC didn’t feel like getting into the whole mess with his ex.

“Ok, so…what? She gets her rocks off on being treated like a doormat too. You two can bond over the size of the foot prints on your back.”

“Jesus,” JC replied, “didn’t realize you held me in such low regard.”

“You hold yourself there, or I guess, rather, you like being held there. Either way, you’ve known my feelings about it for a while so I don’t know why you’re calling me about this?”

“Actually, that’s exactly why I’m calling you because I don’t know how you feel because any time I’ve tried to talk to you about it, you end the discussion real quick. It’s time we had this out.”

“Why? Why now? What the hell does my opinion have to do with your love life?” Justin said harshly, his anger growing by the second.

“Because she goes to see Piper,” JC informed him.

Justin’s blood ran cold at the sound of that name. He shut his eyes and breathed long and deep. “Fuck,” he finally said, knowing he had finally run out of time to avoid this conversation. “What do you want from me, JC?”

“I want to know what happened?”

“You saw what happened.”

“No, I mean in the room, with Piper.”

“Can’t help you, blocked it out.”

“If that were true, you wouldn’t be so defensive right now.” JC paused, realizing he was going to have to do this the hard way. “I sat in with them last night and Piper explained a lot of stuff to me and I just…I think there’s more to the story than you’ve been telling me or maybe even telling yourself.”

“Oh, so now you’re an expert and I’m a liar, is that it?” Justin yelled, seriously debating ending the call right there. “You weren’t there, you don’t know what happened!”

“You’re right, I don’t know!” JC yelled back. “That’s why I’m asking you to explain it to me. I never doubted you, not once, but now…”

“Now you do,” Justin practically hissed.

“Now I have more information. I’m not calling you just to get you to talk about this, I’m calling because if what you said is 100 percent true, then my girlfriend’s in a bad spot and I need to do something about it.”

Justin put the phone in his lap and JC could see him put his head in his hands. JC didn’t realize this was going to be so hard for Justin to talk about and he was starting to feel guilty for not only opening an old wound but for putting Justin in that position in the first place.

After a moment, Justin gathered himself and picked the phone back up. “Ok,” he said somberly, “here’s what happened…”

*****

“This is going to be so much fun!” Joey bounced up and down in the back of the Suburban.

“Jesus, Joe, did you forget what sex feels like?” Chris asked. “I’m sorry if it’s been over 24 hours for you.”

“Shut up,” Joey said, smacking Chris’s shoulder. “This is way different than some fan. These ladies know what they are doing.”

“You know they’re dominatrixes, not hookers, right Joe?” JC asked.

“All I know is you are paying for some lady to play with my dick tonight and I’m appreciative of that,” Joey said, bowing to JC.

“How much is this setting you back?” Lance questioned.

“Don’t worry about it,” JC told him. “You save so you can afford experiences like this. It’s been a while since the five of us have been able to go out like this, thought it would be fun.”

“Only you would pick sex dungeon as the group activity,” Chris joked. “I wanted to play mini golf but no no, JC wanted to be led around on a leash so here we are.”

“You didn’t have to come if you didn’t want to,” JC informed him.

“Are you kidding? No way was I missing this!” Chris stated excitedly, jumping up and down as Joey had done moments before. “Anything that you actually initiate wanting to do is definitely going to involve a good time.”

“You’ve been quiet,” JC turned to Justin.

“A lot on my mind,” Justin mumbled. He didn’t want to seem ungrateful for the guy’s night out but he had been writing like a fiend lately, seemingly the only way to deal with his heartbreak and anger from his headline making breakup. Still, JC wanted to go out, which in itself was a rarity. He knew how hard it was to cajole JC out of his hotel room most nights so he didn’t want to be the stick in the mud that evening.

“I know, man. I hope this helps for a few hours,” JC encouraged him, wrapping an arm around Justin’s shoulders.

“Why’d you want to do this anyway? You some secret sex freak I don’t know about?” Justin asked.

“Nah, just, it’s different, you know. We’re all single right now and strip clubs are getting boring. We’re taking a break after this tour and I just thought it would be something unique to do. Put it in our lexicon of crazy stories for when we’re old and just sit around and reminisce about the “good old days”.”

“Technically, Joey’s not single,” Justin countered.

“Kelly knows what I do!” Joey yelled from his seat in the back. “I’ve been home being a good Dad the past few months but when I’m on the road, I’m allowed to be a bad boy,” Joey joked, biting his index finger and raising his eyebrows.

“You’re allowed? Sounds like you already have someone to whip your ass. You could have stayed home tonight.” Chris answered back. Joey reached over and smacked Chris again, who responded in kind.

“You both could have stayed home and beat each other since you can’t wait 20 minutes for the professionals to do it,” Lance teased them.

A few minutes later, the Suburban pulled narrowly into an alleyway as Lonnie hopped out of the front seat and swung the passenger door open to stand opposite it and act as a barricade for the guys to get out unseen. The door to the club was already open and the members were ushered in quickly.

The next thing Justin knew, he was in a large room with black walls and blood red drapes. Several chaise lounges adorned the room while a wooden bar cart sat in the corner. He felt like he walked into some Interview With A Vampire role playing porn shoot.

“Boys, it’s an honor,” a voice greeted them. Justin turned and saw a petite woman in a corset and leather pants walking towards them. “I’m Miss Jacky, the owner of this establishment. I’d like to thank you for joining us tonight and truly hope you have a splendid time. All our girls have signed the NDAs you requested though I can assure you we treat your privacy with the utmost respect.”

“Thanks Miss Jacky,” JC stepped forward, shaking her hand. “I’m JC, we spoke on the phone. I appreciate you accommodating us. It’s hard for us to do low profile these days.”

“We work with many celebrities here so we understand the challenges involved. I understand you didn’t want profiles created for you all so I did the best I could with the information you provided to me. I hope all will be to everyone’s satisfaction.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, Miss Jacky,” JC smiled at her. “We’re just here for a night of fun.”

“Well, that I can make happen,” she beamed. “Girls,” Miss Jacky called out. A door opened and 5 gorgeous leather clad women filed out and stood before them. Justin licked his lips as he looked down the line, deciding he was actually in a kinky Spice Girls porn instead.

“Gentlemen, some general rules,” Miss Jacky announced. “This is a place to explore any fantasies you’ve wanted to try with no judgment. Truly, request whatever you like and your Mistress will let you know if she can accommodate. In turn, your Mistress will discuss limits with you, both yours and her own. These Ladies have gone through extensive training so my hope is you all will fully take advantage of the evening safely. Finally, the part that always gets a groan: we are a no penetration establishment which means no intercourse.”

“What?!” Joey yelled, proceeding to hit JC in the back of the head. “You couldn’t have told us that ahead of time.”

“I didn’t know either,” JC said, rubbing his head.

“This is a dungeon, not a brothel; important difference,” Miss Jacky informed them. “While that may sound restrictive, I feel confident you will leave here fully satisfied. Shall we get started?”

The boys all agreed as Miss Jacky started pairing them off. “Now you’ll have to excuse me. While I know your band, I don’t know which one of you is which. Who’s Chris?”

“Me, Ma’am,” Chris said, raising his hand.

“Wonderful. If you would please follow Mistress Genesis and have a lovely evening,” Miss Jacky informed him. Justin saw a leggy red head beckon Chris forward and Chris practically ran to her.

“Joey?” Miss Jacky questioned.

“That’d be me,” Joey spoke up. 

Miss Jacky chuckled. “Mistress Tonya, I want to hear how this goes after.”

A gorgeous dark skinned woman stepped forward, a cat o nine tails in her hand. “Oh, he’s not even going to know what hit him,” Mistress Tonya stated, slapping the tendrils against her hand for emphasis.

“Ohhhh, feisty!” Joey stated, doing a little jump and scurrying to follow Mistress Tonya down the hall.

“JC, I’d like you to meet Mistress Raina,” Miss Jacky announced as a beautiful Asian woman stepped forward. 

“A pleasure to meet you, Mistress,” JC said, leaning over and kissing the woman’s hand.

“He’ll do nicely,” Mistress Raina stated, running her fingers through the side of JC’s curls and taking his hand to lead him down the hall.

“Justin?” Miss Jacky asked.

“Um, me, Ma’am”, Justin reluctantly stated. “Please not the blonde, please not the blonde,” Justin silently pleaded.

“You’ll be with Mistress Piper for the evening,” Miss Jacky stated. The slender blonde walked toward Justin as he forced a smile on his face and cursed his luck. The last thing he wanted right now was anything reminding him of his ex.

“Well, that must make you Lance,” Miss Jacky said, turning towards him. “Please say hello to Mistress Isabella.” Lance stepped forward and shook hands with the curvy brunette that remained.

“Hello Justin,” Mistress Piper said, drawing his attention back to the blonde haired woman in front of him. “You ready to go?”

“Yeah, sure,” he stated meekly as he headed towards the hall. 

As he was leaving the lounge, he overheard Lance and assumed he was talking to Miss Jacky. “Are there any men who work here?” Justin laughed and shook his head. Lance always had to know everything about every situation. He didn’t know why Lance always needed to know if other guys were around. Was he that worried about people finding out what they were up to?

Justin was led into a room with a giant wooden X in the middle with a set of chains running down from the top section of it. A table sat along a wall with a few things Justin recognized but far more that he didn’t. He already knew he was out of his element.

“So, Justin, what is it I can do for you tonight?” Mistress Piper asked as she shut the door. 

“Oh, wow, I don’t know. Is there like a menu or something?” Justin asked, looking around.

Mistress Piper laughed as she made her way closer to him. “No, but I’ll keep that in mind for the future.” She walked to him and kissed him softly, which he allowed. The kiss felt hollow to Justin, however. It wasn’t who he’d wanted to be kissing right now. Mistress Piper pulled back slightly, letting her fingers play through Justin’s hair. “Glad you’re letting this grow out again, I was worried I wouldn’t have anything to tug on.”

“Guess I’m not some anonymous John then, huh?” Justin chuckled, silently thanking JC for insisting on the NDAs.

“It’s kinda hard not to know who you are,” Mistress Piper informed him. “Don’t worry, I’m not some TRL fan girl but I’m not going to pretend I don’t recognize you.”

“Well, then you know I’m kind of going through some shit right now so I don’t really know if I’m in the right headspace for this?”

“Do you want to be?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, if you didn’t have your shit going on, would you be ok with being here?”

Justin gave the room another look around. “It’s not really my scene but I’d give it a go,” he replied honestly.

“Then I suppose the next question is, do you want to be in the right headspace? Put all that shit to the side for a little bit and focus on something else for a while?”

“That does sound nice,” Justin mused.

“Sounds like a good place to start. So Justin, let’s just get the elephant out of the room and identify that you’re currently all fucked up over your break up with Britney Spears, correct?”

Justin looked at the woman, stunned momentarily at her bluntness. “Uh, yeah, I mean that and the fact she cheated on me with a guy I considered one of my best friends so I lost two people in the deal. Is this therapy? Should I go lay down on one of the couches out front?” Justin asked, pointing back out towards the lounge.

Mistress Piper laughed. “You’ll have to forgive me, I’m doing post graduate work in psychology currently. You’d be surprised how often here that knowledge can be useful.”

“How’s that?”

“Psychology focuses a lot on how the brain works so, in this case, if I know what’s taking up the most space in your mind, I can figure out the best ways to distract you from it.”

Justin considered it and realized it actually made a lot of sense. “So what do you want me to do? Just tell you everything that’s going on in my head and you’re magically going to make it go away?”

“For the time we have together, yes, that’s the goal at least,” Mistress Piper told him. “Quick question, have you ever been restrained or wanted to be?”

Mistress Piper stood next to the wooden X as Justin gulped. “Handcuffs on the headboard kinda shit. Nothing that extreme.”

“Now’s your chance to try if you want to,” Mistress Piper told him, giving the wood a quick pat as she raised her eyebrows at him.

Justin debated it for a moment. While he still wasn’t wild about being there, the promise of having some time to not wallow in his misery was too tempting. “Why the hell not, what could be the harm?” Justin declared, walking over to Mistress Piper.

Mistress Piper carefully strapped Justin to the cross, ensuring he was secure yet comfortable. Once he was settled, Mistress Piper stood in front of him and stared into his eyes. She put her hands on each side of his head and drew tiny circles on his temples. “Now, we’re gonna play a game and the better you do, the better you’ll feel. You ready for the rules?”

“Um, I guess,” Justin answered, feeling like this was becoming oddly intimate.

“First, you are going to tell me something that’s bothering you, then I am going to tell you that we aren’t going to think about whatever that subject is tonight and you are going to repeat that back to me followed by “Mistress”. I’ll help you out with the first one. Tell me in one short sentence what’s bothering you about Britney.”

“She cheated on me,” Justin bluntly replied.

“We aren’t going to think about her cheating on you tonight,” Mistress Piper calmly instructed.

“We aren’t going to think about her cheating on me tonight…Mistress,” Justin remembered to add, even though it felt weird. “You really think I’m just going to stop thinking about the things that have been consuming my life for months because you tell me to?”

“Humor me,” Mistress Piper told him. “If you believe you can stop thinking about all these things for a little bit and we are reinforcing that by saying it out loud, not only does that help for tonight but in the future, you’ll know when you get overwhelmed by these feelings that you’ll have the power to set them on the back burner. Give me another one.”

“Fuck Wade for what he did to me!” Justin nearly shouted.

“Shhhh,” Mistress Piper soothed him, letting her fingers run through his hair before returning to massage his temples. “We aren’t going to think about Wade tonight.”

“We aren’t going to think about Wade tonight, Mistress.”

“Good. Every time you say something out loud, you feel better knowing you’ve let it go for now. Keep going.”

“My writing is coming out a jumbled mess.”

“We aren’t going to think about writing tonight.”

“We aren’t going to think about writing tonight, Mistress.”

“You’re doing so good,” Mistress Piper told him, keeping his head in her hands so she could maintain eye contact with him. “It gets easier every time. Each worry you let float away makes you feel lighter, less weighed down by all that burden and stress.”

It did feel better, Justin thought as he let himself relax more into her touch. He hadn’t realized quite how stressed out he was until he slowly started to unwind. “I’m stressed out about the tour.”

“We aren’t going to think about the tour tonight.”

“We aren’t going to think about the tour tonight, Mistress.” Justin felt his body sag a little, realizing how good it felt to get all this off his chest. “I don’t know what happens after the tour.”

“We aren’t going to think about after the tour tonight.”

“We aren’t going to think about after the tour tonight, Mistress.” Justin furrowed his brow, his speech sounded slurred to his ears, almost like he was falling asleep. He blinked a couple times, trying to stay awake. “I want to work on some solo stuff but I don’t know if I should.”

“We aren’t going to think about a solo project tonight.”

“We aren’t going to think about a solo project tonight, Mistress.” Justin was almost glad to be tied up as it kept him on his feet. That and Mistress Piper’s hands on his face, her fingers going round and round….”Did you drug me?” Justin questioned, his eyes starting to lose focus.

“No, I didn’t drug you,” Mistress Piper smiled. “You’re just realizing how good it feels to finally relax. I’m just helping you get there. It does feel good, doesn’t it?”

“Yes Mistress,” Justin found himself saying, his breathing becoming heavier. “I’m worried how good our next album is going to be.”

“We aren’t going to think about the next album tonight.”

“We aren’t going to think about the next album tonight, Mistress,” Justin knew he had said it but he almost didn’t sound like himself anymore. He felt like he was about to take the most overdue nap he ever needed. “Can I just…shut my eyes…Mistress?” Justin asked.

“Soon,” Mistress Piper told him. “Let’s get every last drop of worry out of that pretty brain of yours. No more thoughts to bother you. You can have a nice deep sleep once they are all gone. Give me one more to unburden you from.”

Justin searched his brain, finding it hard to concentrate on anything other than Mistress Piper’s voice and her fingers against his flesh. “I’m scared I’ll never find that kind of love again, Mistress.”

“We aren’t going to think about finding love again tonight.”

“We aren’t going to think about finding love again tonight, Mistress.”

“That’s a good boy,” Mistress Piper praised him. “Shut those pretty blue eyes for me and sleep.” Justin felt his body give way as the most amazing feeling of relaxation overtook him, his chin hitting his chest as Mistress Piper let go of him. He vaguely thought he must ironically look like a marionette in that moment but the idea left him quickly. This was the freest he had felt in months, maybe years.

Justin felt hands on his torso as he heard Mistress Piper telling him, “So relaxed, but still able to stand up. Your legs can support your weight and we’re just going to lean back and let the structure help you stay up.” Justin found himself doing as he was told as he got his feet under him and let his body relax against the wood behind him. “Very good,” Mistress Piper told him. “How are you feeling?”

“Good…Mistress…”

“I know, baby,” Mistress Piper teased, “I took all those bad thoughts out of your brain and now you’ve got a pretty little empty head floating around there. Do you like how that feels, to have no thoughts?”

“Yes…Mistress…”

“Well, as much fun as it might be for me to keep you like that, we need to give you some good thoughts to think about.” Justin barely registered Mistress Piper’s hands lifting up his shirt and running over his chest and stomach. “Tell me, Justin, when’s the last time you got off?”

“Yesterday…Mistress…”

“And what were you thinking about that made you cum?”

“Britney…Mistress…I tried not to but…couldn’t…”

“Shhh, it’s ok,” Mistress Piper reassured him. “It’s totally understandable you’d still think about her. Do you want to keep thinking about her or do you want to think about someone else?”

“Someone else….Mistress…”

“I can certainly arrange that. Open your eyes, Justin.” Justin obeyed and found Mistress Piper smiling at him. “Now, tell me how beautiful I am.”

“You’re so beautiful, Mistress,” Justin breathed, his eyes trying to take as much of her in as possible. “Your eyes…your body…the way you touch me…and talk to me…I’ve never heard…” Justin pulled at his restraints. “I need you, Mistress.”

Mistress Piper pouted and caressed Justin’s cheek, “Oh, I almost wish that I could keep you. I want to pretend I’m this good but I think it’s just that you actually needed this that bad. Isn’t it better when your pesky bad thoughts are gone and someone else can give you better things to focus on?”

“Yes Mistress,” Justin admitted, still absorbing every part of her he gazed upon. The more he looked, the more beautiful she appeared. Justin moaned as his cock stirred. 

“You remember our game from before, right Justin?”

“Yes Mistress,” Justin said eagerly.

“Good boy. Remember, the better you do, the better you’ll feel. This time, however, you are going to tell me things that make you happy and that is what we are going to fill your mind back up with. Do you understand?”

“Yes Mistress,” Justin stated, his lust for her starting to get the better of him as he licked his lips, needing to taste her in some manner.

“That’s very good,” Mistress Piper praised him. “Let’s begin: what is something that makes you happy?”

“I love performing, Mistress,” Justin told her.

“Good. Think about the adrenaline rush that performing gives you. You put all your energy out into the audience and they give theirs right back to you. Even in a crowd of tens of thousands, you are all connected in that moment and it feels so good.”

Justin felt Mistress’s hands on his waist as the button on his jeans was being popped open and the fly slowly let down. He knew the game by heart now and knew the only way to please himself was to please his Mistress and do what she asked. “I love hearing a new beat, Mistress.”

“Think about the excitement you feel when you hear something new for the first time and it clicks with you. You know that feeling when you hear a new song on the radio and you instantly know you will blast it every time it comes on? Now think of that as your song that you created, the ear worm it causes, the way it will intoxicate the masses just like it did to you.”

A hand slid beneath the waistband of Justin’s boxer briefs as fingers teased the base of his cock. He felt a shiver as he let the euphoria of discovering a new sound travel down to his groin as Mistress’s hands began to work on him. “I love getting hit on.”

“Of course you do,” Mistress Piper chuckled. “You love the feeling of turning a woman on. Sometimes you like to tease, sometimes you know instantly you could already have her if you wanted. You love the power it gives you and you love the inverse happening right now.”

“Yes Mistress,” Justin moaned, his eyes starting to glaze over again as Mistress took a firm hold of his cock. She was absolutely right. He loved knowing women wanted him and flirting with them just to torture them further. He’d have women literally begging to suck him off and only lately had he been indulging. To be on the other side of it felt instantly addictive and he now understood their need to show how good they could please him. “Please….”

“Not yet,” she told him, slowly lowering his underwear and letting her hand explore the length of him. “Tell me more.”

“I love the support people having been giving me lately, Mistress.”

“You know the support has always been there but it’s important that you feel it currently. People who help raise you up are vital to your well being. Who has been helping you the most?”

“JC, Mistress.”

“How has JC been helping you?”

“He…he listens. I can…open up to him. I’ve been looking up to him since…I was twelve. Wish I could…be as talented…as him.”

“Have you told JC this?”

“Yes and no….he knows I…appreciate him.”

“If you can open up to him, then you should thank him for all the help he’s been, especially as of late. It’s never a bad thing to thank your friends for loving you. Say that back to me.”

“It’s never a bad thing…to thank your friends…for loving you, Mistress.”

“Good, I want you to always remember that but I especially want you to tell JC how good a friend he’s been lately. Just as you love and need the support, your friends should know that you are grateful for it as well.”

“Yes, Mistress,” Justin said, his eyes closing as his head tipped back. If he could, he’d run and tell JC right now if it meant his Mistress would speed up her hand on his cock. “I love the way you touch me.”

“I know you do,” Mistress Piper laughed low. “No one has ever touched you like this. No one else could ever touch you like this. Others will try and you’ll enjoy them but no one will ever make you feel this way but me. So submissive, so obedient, you know deep inside you that only I could ever make you feel this way.”

“Yes Mistress, I only want to obey you,” Justin said automatically as his Mistress’s hand stroked him. He knew she was right. He knew everything she said was right. He knew no one would ever make him feel this helpless and needy ever again and he loved giving into her completely.

“You would’ve made such a lovely slave but at least I had tonight to play with you,” Mistress Piper sighed as she pressed her body against the side of Justin’s and gripped his cock tightly. Her other hand reached up to pull at Justin’s hair. Her lips grazed his earlobe as she commanded him, “Cum.”

Justin’s eyes nearly popped out of his head and he gasped as he felt his orgasm overtake him suddenly. He had just enough sense to realize he normally wouldn’t have been ready at this point  before his eyes rolled in the back of his head and he gave into the pleasure he was experiencing. Mistress was right; only she could do this to him and it felt incredible to fully give into the feeling and to fully give into her.

“Such a good boy,” Mistress Piper cooed as she milked the last of his orgasm out of him. Justin kept himself upright this time as his head rolled forward, feeling spent. “Our time is sadly almost up but I want you to know how remarkably well you’ve done today. By allowing yourself to rid your mind of your negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones, you’ve shown not only your commitment to wanting to move on and the power of your own mind but learned the beauty of giving yourself over to someone completely. This experience and the lessons learned will stay with you forever.”

“Yes Mistress,” Justin confirmed, knowing he’d never forget this evening and the impact his Mistress had on him for the rest of his life.

Justin’s arms fell down to his sides as Mistress Piper released him. “Come on, baby. We have to get you cleaned up and returned to your friends.”

“I totally fucked her,” Joey bragged the second the door closed once they were all back in the Suburban.

“You did not,” Chris yelled.

“Sure did,” Joey doubled down. “She liked the way I screamed when she hit me so I told her I had something I could whip her with if she liked.”

“You are so full of shit,” Chris laughed. 

“How about you? Did you play lap dog all night?” Joey teased.

“No, but my ass fucking hurts,” Chris said, shifting in his seat.

“Mine too,” Lance chimed in.

“Seriously? You both took it up the ass? I mean, I figured somebody would but…”

“Shut up, Fatone,” Chris leaned over to smack his bandmate. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.” Joey responded by putting Chris in a head lock and turning him so he could reach his butt to smack hard a few times. “Ow! It hurts, it hurts!” Chris protested.

“How are you guys doing?” Lance turned to ask JC and Justin.

“Good…lot to process,” JC answered, clearly lost in thought.

“Well, this was your idea so did you get what you wanted out of it?” Lance questioned.

“I don’t know what I thought I’d get out of it but I certainly got something, that’s for damn sure,” JC stated. “How about you, Justin?” JC asked the younger man to his left. “Did it get your mind off of things for a bit?”

“Yeah, it really did,” Justin gave him a half smile, which was more than he’d given anyone in quite some time. “Actually, can I talk to you when we get back to the hotel?”

“Of course,” JC smiled back at him, patting his knee.

Joey was still trying to smack Chris’s ass as they ran down the hallway toward their rooms. Justin barely heard Lance say goodnight as he followed JC, who had apparently forgotten Justin was even behind him as he entered his room and let the door start to shut behind him. “Um, JC?” Justin asked, catching the door.

“Shit, J, I’m sorry,” JC said, turning back around and holding the door open for his friend to enter. “Guess I’m the one with a lot on my mind this time.”

“It’s cool, it’s, uh, it’s been a night,” Justin stated. “That’s actually why I wanted to talk, I mean, kind of.”

“Everything ok?” JC asked, kicking off his shoes.

“Um, yeah man, actually it, um, it really did help and I…I just wanted to thank you for all the love and support you’ve been giving me.”

“It’s not a problem, that’s what friends do.”

“It’s more than that,” Justin continued. “You’ve always been looking out for me, since we were kids. You just…you’ve always wanted me to be the best me I could be. I don’t know how to thank you enough for not only being my friend but being a man I respect and hope to be half as good as.”

“Geez, Justin, where is all this coming from?” JC said, pulling his friend into a hug. “Anything for you, man, anything.” JC pulled back and looked Justin square in the eye. “What the hell happened in there?”

“A lot of talking, actually. I just realized it’s never a bad thing to thank your friends for loving you.” Justin shut his eyes for a moment, remembering the way he felt when he had last uttered those same words at Mistress’s command. He knew JC loved him and Justin loved him in return. He wanted to show JC how much he truly meant to him.

Justin opened his eyes to find JC peering back at him with concern. “J, are you sure you are ok?” JC asked, his hands raising to cup Justin’s face to get a good look at him, the same way Mistress Piper had done not so long before. 

After the briefest of hesitations, Justin leaned in and kissed the man he’d admired for nearly a decade. He felt JC’s body tense but softly kissed him back. Justin smiled against his lips and guided JC against the wall, trying to intensify the kiss while his hands reached for JC’s belt buckle.

“Justin,” JC mumbled. JC got his hands between his chest and Justin’s and shoved the younger man back. “Justin!” he shouted, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “What the fuck has gotten into you?!”

Uncomfortable silence filled the room as Justin stared at JC with confusion. He only wanted to show JC how much he cared for him. It’s what Mistress had told him to do…wasn’t it? She said let him know how important he was, all while she had stroked him harder, all while he was thinking about his friend.

His confusion gave way to something just shy of horror at the realization of what he had just done. “Oh my God, JC. I’m so sorry. I don’t know…I don’t know why I did that?”

“It’s ok, Justin,” JC calmly reassured him. “It’s been a pretty intense night for all of us. We’re cool.”

Justin started shaking his head in disbelief. “I’m telling you, C. She did something to me! She like, fucked with my mind or something. I never would have kissed you if she hadn’t…” Justin cut himself off, not only unsure of what to say but suddenly unsure of what had even happened. Now his whole body began to shake.

“Hey, Justin,” JC approached him cautiously. “I promise, it’s not a big deal, ok?” JC put his hand on Justin’s shoulder and he recoiled yet somehow felt dejected all at the same time. He felt tears welling up and bolted out of the room, making a break down the hall to his own. He heard JC call his name after him and footsteps hurrying behind him as he quickly opened the door and slammed it shut, turning the lock and latching the chain.

JC pounded on the door, begging to be let in, saying he just wanted to talk and make sure Justin was ok. Justin ignored him as he locked himself in the bathroom and turned on the shower to drown out JC’s pleading voice. He stripped and climbed in the tub, instantly sinking to sit down and let the water pound on his body. The spell he’d been under had been broken and Justin knew the only thing Mistress Piper had been right about was that this experience was going to stay with him forever. He let his head rest against the shower wall as his tears ran down his cheeks to drop and meet with the water as he watched yet another piece of his life whirl down the drain.

*****

“Justin…” JC breathed, holding his eyes to keep himself from crying. “I didn’t know.”

“That’s kind of the point, JC,” Justin told him, sniffling and wiping his cheek. “I didn’t want you to know.”

“I’m so sorry I ever made you feel dejected.”

“There were a lot of very conflicting feelings going on with me during that time. I shouldn’t have…I shouldn’t have done what I did in the first place.” Even all these years later, Justin somehow still couldn’t say out loud that he’d kissed his friend.

“I should have fought harder with you about continuing your therapy after that. You just submerged yourself into your writing.”

“I tried to continue with it but the relaxation techniques they taught me to deal with my anxiety were too close to what she did that it just made me even more anxious. Writing was the therapy I needed at the time. That and pot, lots of pot,” Justin chuckled.

“And what about now?”

“What do you mean what about now?”

“Justin…I’m not trying to pry…”

“Really? Cuz you’re doing a hell of a job at digging up shit I buried a long time ago.”

“That’s my point. Have you ever talked to anyone about all this? I don’t even mean a professional but like Trace or your wife?”

“I dealt with it in my own way.”

“By writing and getting high then locking it all away to never think of again?”

“I’ve thought about it plenty. People always want to reduce my first album to being about Britney but Piper’s in there too. Not as much, but she’s there. River was a big hit so I have to keep playing it live but somehow that’s easier than the ones she influenced.”

“Write what you know, I get it,” JC commiserated. Silence filled the conversation, neither knowing what to say. “Any thoughts about what I should do about Colleen?” JC finally spoke up.

“I don’t know, man,” Justin said, wiping his hand over his face. “I mean, it sounds like this is like a regular thing for her, right? So, that’s her thing, that’s her thing. You gotta figure out if you can live with that.”

“Apparently it’s something she’s always wanted. Is that…is that what happened with you?” JC treaded carefully.

“No, I never wanted to be somebody’s bitch. Never an inkling, never a desire, nothing. I like being the one in charge. Shit was really bad with me then and she just…I was vulnerable and let her in. I learned never to make that mistake again.”

“I see how much more relaxed Colleen is after a session. She’s happier, she sleeps better…”

“Good for her she gets off on it. Not for me.”

“I’m not trying to argue with you but you’re telling me this story and talking about how good you felt, how relaxed, how it was the most free you’d felt in years. I feel like….maybe you did enjoy yourself and I ruined it for you.”

Justin stared hard at JC’s face on his phone. “It doesn’t matter whether I did or not. I love you, JC but I don’t want to suck your cock. Anything that’s gonna get me confused about where I draw that line and for that long is not for me.”

“What do you mean for that long?” JC paused, a question he’d only ever passingly wondered now burned at the back of his throat. “Did you leave the band because you thought you had feelings for me?”

“No JC, I didn’t leave because of you.” Justin swallowed hard. “I didn’t come back because of you.” 

JC felt his heart stop in his chest. “What?” was all he could manage to get out.

“I wanted to work on the solo stuff and then you put your own album together and it kept getting delayed and I didn’t realize at the time what Jive was doing but I do now, way too late. Then the Super Bowl happened and I completely sandbagged you and…”

“Justin, we’ve been over this. I don’t blame you..”

“No, you wanted to have some deep fucking talk so you are going to listen,” Justin yelled, his eyes turning red as he tried to hold off another round of tears. “I thought they’d give you a bigger push once I was out of the way. Your album came out a few weeks later, you had a tour scheduled, you were opening for Britney. You guys all did your own thing and waited for me. You deserved your time to shine.” 

“It is what it is, Justin.”

“No, fuck you! Stop being so flippant about this! You wanna play shit we don’t talk about, then let’s talk about this! You got done dirty JC and we all know it. I know I didn’t directly try to sabotage you in any way but my mere existence did it for me. I got promoted and left you behind and I was too selfish and focused on myself to see it then. That’s the biggest reason I pushed so hard to help you with Kate. Not only because I wanted to rekindle some of the time that had been lost due to the shit going on in my head but because I felt guilty you were in this position in the first place.”

“So you took pity on me?” JC scoffed, suddenly now becoming the defensive one.

“Never pity, JC, never. I wanted to help you because you deserved a chance and by then I was smart enough to know putting my name behind it would increase the odds. I’m so sorry it wasn’t enough.”

“Nothing I did was good enough without the four of you,” JC said softly.

“Now which one of us needs to go to therapy?” Justin attempted to joke. “JC, you did the best music of your life on that album. Pushing you with your writing and your vocals is still one of my most treasured times not only with you in a studio but in my life. I love Tim and Pharrell and that whole crew but it’s never been like how we worked during Kate. When it got scraped…I watched it break you in a way I didn’t know how to fix. You haven’t been the same since and you know it.”

“I adapted. Being on my own was never my plan but when it happened, I committed to it. It was…it was hard to see how much support you got that I wasn’t getting but I never held that against you personally.”

“I know you didn’t but I did. I still do. You think I don’t see the posts online? Between the people calling for my head with #FreeBritney and Justice for Janet, there’s the people that make sure to remind me I’m responsible for ruining your career too. Sometimes I wish I had the balls to just say #JusticeForJC because I believe that too.”

“This is why you need to stay off of social media,” JC chided him. “You can’t let people with too much time on their hands upset you this much.”

“And this is why you do need to be on social media more so that you can see all the praise you get and know how much people truly love you and miss you.” Again, silence filled the air as both men processed what the other had said. “So, when do you want to start couple’s therapy?” Justin finally asked.

“I already go to therapy,” JC allowed himself to laugh.

“Good for you, man.”

Another awkward silence threatened to consume them when JC finally spoke. “Thank you for telling me everything that happened with Piper…and for everything else you said. I realize now it wasn’t easy.”

Justin was surprisingly still in the sharing mood and decided to confess one last thing. “JC, I’ve always been envious of the fact that you never make any apologies for the things you like. I mean, like with Raina. We have given you a lot of shit over the years and you never let it sway you. I really…I wish I could do that.”

“Thanks but it’s not all gravy. You’ve got a lovely wife and two adorable kids. You’ve got this family that…I just don’t think is in the cards for me, and part of the reason is due to how I’ve chosen to live my life. Having to explain to women your Dominatrix comes as part of the deal hasn’t really worked out.”

“Until now,” Justin reminded him.

“Until now,” JC smiled. “Feels too good to be true some days.”

“I know you; don’t wait around anticipating when the other shoe will drop. Just enjoy it and try not to scrutinize everything.”

“Thanks man.”

Justin hesitated, partially not wanting to go back to this conversation but knowing he’d never have the gumption to ask if he didn’t do it in this moment. “JC? She actually likes it?”

“Yeah J, she does. I’m not gonna sit here and say I completely understand but on principle, yeah, letting someone else take over for just a little while is…helpful.” JC saw Justin thinking so continued, “You could always talk to her about it if you wanted to. Might help. She knows I know someone who worked with Piper before but doesn’t know it was you.”

“I’ll think about it,” Justin replied with a small smile. “We good?”

“Always,” JC gave him a huge grin. “I love you, Justin.”

“I love you too, C,” Justin told him back before the call was disconnected. Twelve hundred miles away from each other, both men put their phones down in their laps and reclined their heads on the backs of their chairs and just breathed. So much had been said to the other that was long overdue and as much as it hurt to pull open old wounds, they both found themselves feeling better for having gone through it.

“You know what, fuck Jen Shah!” Matthew yelled as he stood up from his seat and proceeded to make his way to Colleen’s kitchen to pour himself another drink. “All she does is talk shit on poor Mary Cosby and bilk old people out of money. She’s like another…what’s your boyfriend’s old manager’s name?”

“Lou Pearlman,” Colleen informed him from her seat on the couch, Sara laying next to her as their Housewives binge continued.

“Yeah, she’s like that guy but with nicer clothes but probably just as bad body odor.” The ladies laughed as Matthew sat back down. “Speaking of, you have not shared enough *NSYNC tea. Tell me what plump and juicy secrets you’ve been able to find out.”

“I already told you how big JC is,” Colleen reminded him.

“I know, but tell me again…slowly,” Matthew encouraged her. Colleen moved the pillow out from behind her and threw it at him. “Girl, it’s been how many months now? You gotta have something.”

“I really don’t,” Colleen realized. “I mean, he and Lance were sharing some old stories when we had dinner over there but nothing scandalous or noteworthy to share. Just friends catching up, like we do.”

“So, his pop star status is finally fading, huh?” Sara asked.

Colleen mulled over her friend’s question. “Yes and no. I don’t really know how to describe it. When I see him, he’s just my boyfriend but then like, Chris will call and I’m like “Oh shit, Chris Kirkpatrick and JC Chasez are talking. Please God be about a reunion!” but it’s normally just checking in or something mundane.”

“That’s gotta be weird,” Sara mused.

“I think it would be weirder if he actually owned his celebrity a bit more. He truly has cut himself off from so much of it that he’s just a guy working in the industry who has some good connections.”

“Which you like as a girlfriend and hate as a fan,” Matthew chimed in.

“YES!!!!” Colleen shouted. “He seems happy enough doing what he’s doing but it’s all the little stuff I notice. He’ll sing around the house but stop as soon as I enter the room. I can tell when he’s talking or texting with one of the guys because his eyes just light up. I have no idea how to even approach the subject with him.”

“You don’t have to,” Matthew told her. “You see him naked. Just reach around and pull whatever is up his ass out and problem solved.” Matthew dodged another pillow that came flying at his head.

“I always thought of JC as this mystery I wanted to solve but it only ever went as far as sex,” Colleen continued. “Now it’s like I solved the first puzzle and a whole tomb of other ones have sprung up and I just want to know more.”

“Now there’s the dish!” Matthew said, climbing off his chair and sitting on the floor in front of the couch both women occupied. “Tell me what kind of sex freak Silver Daddy Chasez really is?”

Colleen laughed. “See, this is where it gets weird! I want to give you all every little detail because, like, I fucked JC Chasez but since we are actually in a relationship, it feels like I shouldn’t. When I imagined a one night stand, it was almost easier. Now I have all these feelings.”

“What kind of feelings?” Sara asked, sitting up.

“No feelings yet, just talk about the sex,” Matthew demanded again, sipping his drink.

Sara decided to put it bluntly. “You’re overthinking all of this, by no surprise. Just talk to us like he’s any normal guy you started dating. I’m not trying to get you to spill every little secret about the guy but, yeah, I want to know how the sex is and how you feel about him.”

“Not me. I want to know what freaky sex shit he’s into,” Matthew stated, “and don’t you dare tell me nothing because you made me listen to Schizophrenic too many times to believe that man likes anything vanilla besides his ice cream.”

“We haven’t gotten to the Digital Getdown of the sex yet,” Colleen completely lied. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s GOOD sex but nothing out of the ordinary.”

“It’s still sex, with a new guy. Teen dream or not, if the sex wasn’t great, I know you well enough you’d be gone so I need details,” Matthew proceeded, refusing to relent.

Colleen knew Matthew was mostly right. Any other guy, she would have given the play by play by now. She couldn’t decide if the hang up was because he was JC or because of all the kinky things they knew about each other that she definitely didn’t want her friends to know about. Both those things made this relationship different, and frankly better, than all the previous ones she’d had.

Their kinks had only bled into the bedroom slightly. She liked to climb on top of JC and tease him. He in turn would tell her what he wanted her to do. It was a tame version, for now. Colleen still needed to meet with Raina at some point and learn the full extent of she and JC’s play time together. They still hadn’t talked about his feelings about Mistress Piper but he hadn’t dumped her immediately after so she figured they’d discuss when he was ready.

“Ok, you’re right,” Colleen finally acquiesced. She decided the story of her first night and subsequent day at JC’s house was detailed enough for her friends to stop asking questions but vague on what actually turned the both of them on.

“I love that you almost passed out both times,” Matthew cackled as Colleen finished her retelling. 

“It was a lot to handle,” Colleen protested, “both physically and mentally. I’d been anticipating it for years. I personally feel like I should get an award for not having an orgasm from the first moment he touched me.”

“You literally told that man you wanted his throbbing cock in your mouth?” Sara asked in disbelief.

“I did,” Colleen admitted, turning bright red and covering her face. “I thought it might be the last time I’d get to be with him. I always feel like each time is the last time.”

“That’s not a great outlook to have,” Sara told her.

“He’s still JC. We all know no girl sticks around that long. I want to, believe me, I want to but I’m just trying to be realistic that this relationship has some kind of shelf life I’m not aware of yet. Right now, I’m just trying to make as many memories as I can so I have some good ones to look back on when that’s all I have left.”

“You really haven’t thought long term about this yet?” Sara asked.

“I have, I’m not gonna lie, and it…it’s exciting but I’m also really trying not to get ahead of myself. We haven’t even had a fight yet and I’m desperately trying to hold it off as much as possible.”

“Is there something to fight about and you’re not addressing it or is it really going that well?” Sara continued.

“A little of Column A but mostly Column B. It’s quite possible I’m projecting but he just really gets me in a way no guy ever has before, mostly because he’s actually bothered to try. That said, yeah, any other guy I would have pressed about some things by now that I’m letting him get away with.”

“Like what?” Matthew asked eagerly, scooting closer.

“Like whatever the deal is with the ex before me. I know it did a number on him and both Lance and Michael noted he pretty much stopped talking to everyone when he was with her. I want to know not only what he’s dealing with but potentially what I’m dealing with but, yeah, I don’t want to start something.”

“Colleen, I’m gonna say this once and one time only,” Sara stated, grabbing her friend’s hand. “Do not compromise who you are for anyone, including JC Chasez. It’s fine if you want to approach things differently than you have with other guys in the past but this seems like a big red flag you are blatantly ignoring. If you actually want this relationship to work, you gotta address it on some level. You can’t tell me this isn’t bothering the hell out of you?”

“It is,” Colleen admitted, “but there’s stuff I’m keeping from him too so it feels hypocritical to call him out right now.”

“Do you really think it’s gonna be a problem to tell him you are a fan?” Matthew asked, rolling his eyes. “A friend of yours ran down the street praising Jesus upon meeting him, for Christ sake!”

“You saw that too, huh?” Colleen snickered.

“Heard about it. I was in the bathroom at the time,” Matthew brushed off. “My point is he’s gotta have some idea.”

“He knows I was a fan as a teen and I know some of his music but it’s been left at that. Michael said he’s gonna wig when he finds out and I know I need to just come clean but I just…I don’t want him to think for a second I was just using him to fulfill some deep seeded fantasy.”

“But…” Matthew started to argue.

“I know, I know,” Colleen cut him off. “Maybe at the very beginning. I mean, there was no way I wasn’t going to go out with him once I had the opportunity. If it was just about wanting to fuck him, I would have done it a lot sooner than I did but he turned out to be this absolutely amazing guy that I just want to drink wine with as we tell each other about our day and watch the sunset.”

“God, you sound like a terrible romance novel,” Matthew joked.

“You sound like you’re falling in love with him,” Sara pointed out sincerely.

“Noooo,” Colleen answered her friend while she actually thought about it. JC did make her feel better than any man before him. He was understanding and accepting of every aspect of her and never made any attempt to undermine her so she could always be one hundred percent herself. “Ohhhhh nooooo….”

Matthew clasped his hands together. “I know at least five bridal ateliers that can whip up sketches by the morning. I’m thinking corset bustier top into a mermaid silhouette. How do we feel about begonias?”

This time it was Sara to toss a pillow at Matthew’s head. “Shut up! We aren’t marrying her off just yet.”

“No no no no no,” Colleen jumped up and began pacing the room, diving into a full on tailspin. “It’s too soon, I can’t be! I…I have to be confusing it with my feelings for him before we actually met. There’s no way it could happen this fast.”

“Love doesn’t have a time frame,” Sara politely reminded her.

“Fuck,” Colleen breathed. “Do you…do you really think I am? Honestly?”

“All I can tell you is I’ve known you for nearly 10 years and this is the happiest I’ve ever seen you. Take that however you want,” Sara told her.

“Do you think I can get JC to wear spats? I feel like I could,” Matthew stated. He automatically ducked but was pleasantly surprised to discover he now had all the pillows in the room, which he now clung triumphantly to. “Seriously girl, stop freaking out and just be happy about it. Who actually has this happen? Luciana Damon, that waitress Zac Efron is fucking, and you.”

“Well, and Karly,” Sara reminded him, “and I guess technically Michael but he was a model at the time so I’m on the fence about that one.”

“Who the fuck is Karly?”

“Chris’s wife.”

“But Chris wasn’t all that famous when they meet though, right?”

“They meet after *NSYNC so, yeah, he was. By that logic, JC’s not that famous either.”

“Oh my God, stop arguing about who’s famous!” Colleen cut in. “This is a serious fucking problem!”

“Why is it a problem?” Sara questioned.

“Because…there are still too many unanswered things. What if he hates me when I tell him I’m a fan? What if he thinks he’s over his ex but he’s not? Does he want to get married? Do I?! What about kids? What if the band reunited or his show goes to Broadway? What if he travels and he meets someone else? What if he doesn’t feel the same way back? What if…”

“Hey hey hey,” Sara jumped up, grabbing Colleen’s hands to stop her pacing. “Now you really are getting ahead of yourself. Deep breaths, count to ten.” Colleen shut her eyes and concentrated on her breathing. Fortunately for her, all of Mistress Piper’s guidance helped her handle these situations better than she had before. She’d have to ask if there was a way to lessen them from happening in the first place.

When Colleen finally opened her eyes, she saw Matthew had stood up and was standing next to Sara. “You were about three seconds away from me slapping you Alexis Carrington style,” he winked, making her laugh.

“You ok?” Sara asked.

“Better, yes. Ok…not really.” The trio piled onto the couch with Colleen being comforted in the middle. “When did this become so complicated?”

“It isn’t complicated, sweetie. You’re making it complicated,” Sara told her. “I get you don’t want to rock the boat but you basically have two choices: put your shit on the line and hope for the best or continue to not face any of it because he might not like it and turn into his vapid submissive arm candy.”

“Flattered you think I’m arm candy material,” Colleen joked.

“I got this,” Matthew said, picking up one of the pillows off the floor and lightly hitting Colleen, who grabbed the pillow and held it between her arms against her chest. “Honey, you have got to get a grip. You are a bad ass bitch who KNOWS who she is and can take down any man, woman, person, child or zoo animal in one foul swoop. I have never seen you this out of sorts.”

“That’s cuz I haven’t had a life long crush on any of my clients until now, let alone started dating them,” Colleen tried to explain. “It’s so easy when we are together, so natural but when I start really thinking about it, I just still can’t wrap my brain around it.”

“Then stop thinking about it,” Sara said, causing Colleen to smirk at the unintended double entendre her friend put in her brain. “You know you are causing yourself undo stress. All those things you rattled off you just need to sit down and discuss with JC. I can’t assure you how it will turn out but I can tell you it’ll all come out in the end anyway. Control the part of it that you can.”

“Fuck,” Colleen cursed again, knowing her friends were right. “I have to suck it up and talk to him. I don’t want to, it’s been nice just kind of letting things naturally progress but…”

“I’m not saying go in guns a blazing,” Sara clarified. “I’m saying instead of changing the subject if you get close to it, just embrace it and be honest, with him and yourself.”

“And when he professes his undying love and you plan the seating chart for your wedding, put me across from Joey so I can play footsie with him,” Matthew stated matter of factly. 

“Won’t the spats get in the way?” Colleen joked.

“No, JC is wearing the spats. I will be wearing a stylish velvet loafer, I’m thinking a royal blue at present but subject to change. I need to be able to slip it off easy so I can run my foot up his…”

“Stop, oh God, no!” the girls screamed, Colleen launching the pillow once again at Matthew as they all erupted into laughter. They settled back in to resume their Housewives watch as Colleen resolved to find some delicate way to talk to JC. There was just one more thing she wanted to make sure she did first

Joshua knelt in his all too familiar spot, bare chested, head down, hands clasped behind his back. The two women in his life argued above him and he was helpless to do anything about it.

“Those are the rules, Leena,” Mistress Raina pressed her. “You don’t like them, you can leave.”

“It’s Colleen tonight, Mistress,” Colleen said with as much contempt as she could muster. “I’m not here for me, I’m here for him.”

“Then quit your bitching,” Mistress Raina snapped.

“Can you two please put the claws away?” Mistress Piper stepped in. 

“Make her,” Mistress Raina challenged. “My dungeon, my slave, my rules.”

“And I’m doing my best to be respectful of that…Mistress, but you aren’t being respectful of my own boundaries. He’s still my boyfriend, after all.”

“A boyfriend you wouldn’t have if it weren’t for me. I should make your ungrateful ass kneel as well and thank me,” Mistress Raina smirked.

“Quit it, you two!” Mistress Piper shouted. “Let’s concentrate on the actual point of tonight instead of having a pissing match about who cares about him more. You two have to figure out a way to get along.”

Colleen and Mistress Raina both eyeballed one another. “Fine,” Colleen huffed, relenting. “I had just hoped we could ease into this.”

“And I want you to see what you are dealing with,” Mistress Raina retorted. “Any other girls who have been here got the slap and tickle pony show. I know you know it’s way more than that but as Joshua saw with you a few weeks ago, your submission and his are very different and I need you to fully understand that.”

“Please tell me it’s not an actual pony show. Not really the way I intended to ride him.”

Joshua couldn’t suppress the laugh as a quick breath of air he tried to mask as a cough escaped him. Mistress Raina was fast as lightning as her hand gripped his hair and forced his head backwards, the angle craning his neck. “Did I tell you something was funny?” Mistress Raina snarled.

“No, Mistress. I’m sorry, Mistress,” Joshua quickly apologized, his voice breathy. While he hadn’t done it on purpose, he did enjoy those times he’d step out of line and Mistress got rough.

Mistress Raina let go and pushed his head back down to face the floor. “God, it’s gonna be one of those kinds of nights, I can already tell,” she decried. “Joshua, stand up,” she commanded. Joshua rose to his feet instantly. Mistress Raina turned his face to meet her own. “Now kiss me,” she instructed.

Joshua didn’t hesitate as he obeyed and kissed his Mistress passionately. Mistress Raina put both her hands on Joshua’s shoulders, which he knew to be the cue to pick the petite woman up. Never breaking their kiss, he grabbed her by the waist to hoist her up as she wrapped her legs around him.

Colleen watched and deployed her corporate negotiation face to appear unaffected. She knew this was going to happen but she didn’t have to like it. She also knew this was only a taste of what was to come.

“Problem?” Mistress Raina asked her, breaking her kiss with Joshua.

“No Mistress, just debating if you are proving a point or showing off?” Colleen challenged her.

Mistress Raina’s mouth formed into a mischievous grin. “Down,” she told Joshua, who helped her down to her feet. She slowly strutted over to stand in front of Colleen. “It doesn’t bother you that I’m kissing your man?” she goaded.

“He was yours long before he was mine, Mistress. He’s given me some idea what you do physically together so I’m not shocked, if that’s what you were going for. I’m aware sharing him is part of the deal.”

“Most women feel like they can just replace me.”

“Not only do I know I couldn’t replace you, Mistress, I’m smart enough to know to not even try. Would I like to be able to satisfy him in some way like this myself? Yes, absolutely, but I’m not trying to be some full time dom nor would I personally want to do that.”

“Do you want him to replace Mistress Piper?”

“Complicated answer, Mistress.”

“Go ahead,” Mistress Piper encouraged. “I won’t be offended.”

Colleen sighed. “In theory, yes. I’d love it if I could have all those same experiences with him. However, Mistress Piper is a trained professional and he’s not so the point is pretty moot. It’s a different kind of training but I recognize you’ve been practicing your craft for years as well, Mistress. Hence why I know neither of us could replace either of you.”

Mistress Raina thought over Colleen’s answer and smiled. “You’re smarter than I gave you credit for.” She turned back around to Joshua and let her fingers gently play along his naked flesh as she continued to address Colleen. “The key difference you have to realize between the two of you is your level of trust with your Dom.”

“I trust Mistress Piper,” Colleen protested, instantly getting defensive. “I wouldn’t let someone do the things she does to me if I didn’t.”

“I’m not saying you don’t,” Mistress Raina continued. “What I’m pointing out is two years is different from twenty. You trust Mistress Piper to keep you safe here, and she does, but ironically enough the girl who wishes to not have any control over her thoughts still is allowed to decide what she does and doesn’t want to do.”

“That’s called consent, last I checked, Mistress,” Colleen fired back.

“Aha, yes! However Joshua consented long ago to trust whatever I asked him to do. Why else do you think he showed up at your office with no idea why he was there? He did it simply because I told him to.” Colleen looked at Mistress Raina confused. “Well, you gave us a demonstration. I suppose I should return the favor. Joshua, go over and kiss Mistress Piper.”

“Yes Mistress,” Joshua stated as he walked over to Mistress Piper and kissed her in the same manner he had Mistress Raina earlier.

Colleen’s mouth fell open. “Okay, that I was not expecting.”

“Joshua, stop,” Mistress Raina instructed as Joshua did as he was told. “Now that was to prove a point,” Mistress Raina gloated.

“Point proven, Mistress,” Colleen admitted.

“Don’t worry, I don’t let him be with anyone else. I just wanted to show you I could if I wanted to and he’d do it because I wanted him to because his goal is always to please me. Isn’t that right, Joshua?”

“Yes Mistress,” Joshua stated. Colleen looked down at the growing bulge in his pants and knew Mistress Raina wasn’t over exaggerating.

“So, you’re telling me he’ll do anything you ask him to do, Mistress? Why haven’t you asked him for a million dollars or diamonds or something?” Colleen questioned but silently wanted to know “Then why don’t you use your powers for good and make him sing again?”

“Because there’s limitations to everything and part of being a good Dom is knowing where to draw the line with your sub. If I ask him to go shoot someone for me, I’m crossing not only a moral and legal line but because I’d know he doesn’t actually want to do that and I’m putting him in an uncomfortable and, quite frankly, dangerous position. I probably could get him to give me money or gifts but I know how he is with his finances and I know not to take advantage. The entire key is to always give commands you know will be followed so he feels like he can never say no because I don’t get close to it.”

“And you felt confident he wouldn’t mind making out with someone different, Mistress?”

“I said kiss, not fuck, so yes. Though honestly, I think if I had said fuck, he would have done that too,” Mistress Raina replied with a wink. She then went over to Joshua and grabbed a handful of the bulge in his pants, causing him to moan. “We all know Joshua is a very sexual being.”

Colleen watched Mistress Raina grope her boyfriend and tried her best to wrap her brain around everything. The physicality between the two of them wasn’t actually all that surprising but the fact that “Joshua” had barely acknowledged her presence in the room bothered her. She had been prepared to watch Mistress Raina tease and taunt the living daylights out of him until he was begging for release and, she had to admit, she had been looking forward to it. Yet even though the signs were there of how much influence Mistress Raina truly had over him, Colleen was still taken aback.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Mistress Raina asked then chuckled, “thoughts.”

“Just wondering how much of him you actually control, Mistress,” Colleen stated.

“Do you need another demonstration?” Mistress Raina threatened.

“Not exactly what I meant, Mistress. I meant I know he tells you everything that goes on with us. How much influence do you have over that, over him? Just how much of our relationship are you in?”

Mistress Raina seemed stunned for only a second as she quickly composed herself. “You really are asking the right questions and, I must say, I’m pretty impressed. Let’s put it this way: I could get him to take you on vacation or command him to do certain things to or for you, and believe that I will in due time. I can’t make him marry you or break up with you, if that’s your concern. I don’t fuck with people’s emotions.”

“Just their desires, Mistress,” Colleen said as she continued watching Mistress Raina paw at Joshua’s ever hardening cock.

“Exactly,” Mistress Raina confirmed. “I love diving in and truly exploring and then exploiting people’s ultimate desires. That’s true submission: finally accepting that what you enjoy is just a part of you and nothing to be ashamed of so that you give into it completely. That goes for most things in life, be it your sexual fantasies to the band you like.” Mistress Raina smirked as she leaned into Joshua and flicked his nipple with her tongue quickly, causing him to gasp at the unexpected contact. Colleen cocked an eyebrow, knowing exactly what Mistress Raina was getting at with that statement.

Yet she had to admit she unfortunately had a point. She still couldn’t even verbalize the words to her own turn ons, feeling safer talking around it then addressing it head on. The same could be said for her relationship, always trying to hint at her true feelings but scared to fully express them. Both things gave her anxiety when trying to figure out how to navigate them and left her with the fear of judgment and non-acceptance from the same man. Colleen was finally seeing the benefit to her own mental health of owning up to every part of herself and trusting that the chips would fall where they should.

Mistress Raina extricated herself from Joshua and went over to Mistress Piper, whispering in her ear. “Yeah, I’m fine with that,” Mistress Piper stated out loud as they both walked over to the couple, moving Colleen and Joshua to stand facing one another.

“You said you wanted to give Joshua at least some of these same pleasures at home,” Mistress Raina addressed Colleen, “and he’s expressed wanting to do the same for you. Tonight, we’re going to give you both a starting point to do that.”

“Colleen, what’s the most common thing I do when I want to initiate play?” Mistress Piper asked Colleen.

“You run your fingers through my hair, Mistress,” Colleen replied.

Mistress Piper stood next to Joshua and extended his arm forward, guiding his fingers to Colleen’s temple. “Joshua, if you want to initiate play at home where you are in charge, just run your fingers from her temple, down behind her ear to the base of her neck. She’ll know what to do after that. Do that for me a couple times.”

Joshua obeyed and watched as Colleen sighed and her head rolled towards his touch, encouraging him to continue. “See what just that simple gesture can do? Understand that power and dominance doesn’t always have to involve force and submission doesn’t always mean subjugation.”

“Yes Mistress, I understand,” Joshua answered.

“Now, answer truthfully,” Mistress Piper prodded.

“I’m beginning to understand it, Mistress,” Joshua stated as he watched Colleen’s eyes begin to flutter shut as a soft moan left her lips.

“That’s enough,” Mistress Piper stated, retracting Joshua’s hand and turning towards Colleen. “You’re ok,” she said, snapping her fingers, causing Colleen to blink rapidly and get her bearings. “Sorry, I’ll make it up to you later,” Mistress Piper reassured her.

Mistress Raina now approached Colleen, mimicking Mistress Piper and grabbing Colleen’s arm. “When you want to be in charge, simply press down on Joshua’s shoulder. It doesn’t need to be hard, just forceful…authoritative.” Mistress Raina placed Colleen’s hand on Joshua’s shoulder and applied pressure as Joshua slowly sunk to his knees, looking up expectantly at the two women.

“See the look on his face?” Mistress Raina pointed out. “He gets pleasure out of pleasing. You need to use some of that lawyer prowess on him and understand how much he loves a woman in charge of him. You must have interns at your work from time to time. So eager to earn points, even if it’s just getting your coffee order right. Apply that same principle here.”

Colleen stood above Joshua and knew he’d do anything she wanted in that moment and it felt empowering in a way she hadn’t expected. Knowing the simplest request would get him hard and ready for her made her start to grow wet. So far they’d just been playing games and she realized now that the restraint and the teasing were only part of it.

“Now that you have him like this, what do you want him to do?” Mistress Raina asked her.

“Shit, I don’t know, Mistress,” Colleen confessed. “Honestly, I’m just enjoying the view at the moment.”

Mistress Raina laughed as she walked away from the couple and grabbed a chair. “It feels good, doesn’t it? Knowing the power you have over someone that they would leap at the chance to fulfill your every whim.” Mistress Raina put the chair behind Colleen and guided her to sit.

“It is a bit of a rush, I must admit, Mistress.”

“When someone wants to serve and please like Joshua does, his own orgasm doesn’t always need to be the reward. Worshipping you and giving you pleasure will make him feel just as good, if not better since you can hold off his orgasm, thus teasing him further, making him want to please you more. It may sound greedy at first but I promise it is worth it for both parties involved.”

“I don’t get what you mean, Mistress. Is he going to fan me with a palm leaf and feed me grapes?”

Mistress Raina chuckled. “If that’s what you wanted, he would certainly do it but I was thinking something a little more like this.” Mistress Raina bent down to Joshua’s ear and said, “Joshua, worship her pussy.”

“Yes Mistress,” came Joshua’s response as he put his hands on both of Colleen’s knees and spread her legs open.

Colleen’s eyes went wide as she felt Joshua’s breath creeping up her thigh. “I can’t…we can’t do this in front of you?!”

“We watched you give him a lap dance and get fairly naked not that long ago,” Mistress Raina reasoned. “Plus, both he and Mistress Piper have seen you have an orgasm before and I’ve heard the play by play. I have some cold water bottles on standby for you.”

“But this is diff…” the words died off Colleen’s tongue just as she felt Joshua’s upon her. He’d gone down on her a few times now but somehow this felt different. Nothing about his technique had changed but the intent behind the action made it feel like a whole new experience.

Joshua’s tongue moved slowly, like he was trying to memorize every millimeter of her. He always took his time but this was nearly excruciating already as Colleen kept feeling his hot breath run over her, the anticipation increasing rapidly with every movement he made.

Mistress Raina came up behind Colleen and looked down at Joshua over her shoulder. “This is worship,” Mistress Raina explained. “The goal isn’t orgasm but simply to make you feel wanted and appreciated. I sometimes make him do this while I write my grocery list. If I get there, I get there but the power is in seeing him loving every second of it.”

Colleen looked down as Joshua continued his meticulous journey with his tongue and lips, ensuring no part of her was left unattended. Mistress Raina whispered in Colleen’s ear so Joshua wouldn’t hear her. “You’ve imagined it for so long and the reality is even better than that. You wanted to fuck him, feel his skin against yours, know that you could make him cum. Now here he is, serving you the way you deserve. He’s the one who wants to do all those things to you and only you, Colleen. You got him.”

Thoughts were flying a mile a minute through Colleen’s head as she tried to focus on the last thing Mistress Raina said. She did get him. Colleen ran her hand down to play over Joshua’s graying curls as she felt his breath quicken then even back out on her. He was more than JC Chasez in that moment, he was the person she’d been waiting her whole life for, famous or not. For them to be one in the same was almost too overwhelming to bear and she didn’t know if she was going to cry or cum at this point. “Fuck,” she breathed out as she admitted to herself that she truly was in love with him.

Mistress Piper stepped around to Mistress Raina and whispered, “She’s overthinking whatever you said, I can see it on her face. Do something.”

“Joshua, make her cum,” Mistress Raina quickly commanded. Joshua’s response was immediate as he slid his tongue inside Colleen and flicked the tip rapidly. Colleen gasped loudly at the feeling, this being a move she hadn’t felt from him before. Her breathing grew ragged as he refused to let up, speeding up his motions as Colleen griped the back of his hair and shoved him even closer into her. Joshua responded by switching his tongue to circle around her clit while alternating his lips sucking at her firmly.

Colleen’s orgasm slammed into her as she literally bucked against the chair she was in, gasping for breath as each wave hit her like it was the rolling tide at the beach. Words weren’t an option as she lost herself to the feeling, knowing Joshua wasn’t going to stop until he was commanded to.

Mistress Raina waited until she saw Colleen’s arms fall limply at her sides even while her body still twitched. “Joshua, clean her up,” she commanded him, to which Joshua switched again to long slow licks up Colleen’s pussy, making sure to taste every drop of her. Colleen turned to see Mistress Raina standing triumphantly over the both of them, holding a bottle of water out for Colleen.

“Thanks,” she said shakily, carefully grabbing the bottle and taking a long sip. “I hate to say it, but you’re gonna have to call him off or I really will pass out,” Colleen admitted.

“That’s enough, Joshua,” Mistress Raina told him. He quickly sat back on his heels and waited for his next instruction. Mistress Raina walked over to a drawer and pulled out a hand towel and tossed it onto Colleen’s chest. Colleen slowly sat up and began pulling herself together.

“Didn’t I have underwear?” she wondered out loud, scanning the room.

“They’re back in my parler,” Mistress Piper told her. “I had you take them off there as I knew what Mistress Raina had been planning for the most part.”

Colleen didn’t remember and let out a small laugh, realizing now she had been prepped for the evening that had laid ahead of her. A part of her hated to admit how much she enjoyed a little bit of confusion while a larger part of her relished in the feeling, knowing she could be that taken over. She looked over at Joshua and wondered if one day he’d be the one to make her feel that way.

“I’d say that’s about enough for the evening,” Mistress Raina informed them all. Colleen got to her feet, looking down again at Joshua. “Something else you need?” Mistress Raina asked her.

“No, I’m good,” Colleen forced herself to say. All she wanted right now was kneel down on the floor with Joshua and kiss him and tell him that she loved him. She couldn’t, not right now at least, but she would. Colleen turned to face Mistress Raina. “Uh, thanks for, well…whatever the hell this was, Mistress. Definitely informative.”

“I’m a good way, I assume?” Mistress Raina wanted to clarify.

“Yes, yes, definitely in a good way,” Colleen confirmed as she and Mistress Piper left the room.

A bit later, it was now Colleen who found herself sitting in the lounge waiting for JC. She contemplated what to actually say to him as a million thoughts and feelings threatened to spill out all at once. Yet all of that concern faded away the moment she saw JC emerge from behind the door with a huge smile on his face. He practically ran over to her and kissed her gratefully. “Hey Babe, you were amazing. I can’t thank you enough. You ok?”

“You were pretty amazing too,” Colleen chuckled. “Yeah, I’m ok. It was…educational, to say the least.” She looked up as JC continued to smile down at her then pulled her into a tight hug and kissed the top of her head. She realized more than ever this was part of what Mistress Raina meant about embracing who you were. JC knew who he was sexually and felt no shame about it. He was happy to share this part of himself with someone he trusted with it and Colleen in turn was happy to be that person.

“Anything you want to discuss?” JC asked.

“Not tonight but soon,” Colleen told him. “Nothing bad just…I think there’s some things we need to just…go over.”

“Whatever you want, Babe,” JC told her, giving Colleen another quick kiss before they headed out into the night

A few days later, JC greeted Colleen at the front door of his home to find her carrying a large brown box. “This was on your front step,” she informed him as he took the box from her.

He looked at the shipping label and started to head up the stairs with the package. “It’s just the new merch, I’ll look at it later.”

“The new *NSYNC merch?” Colleen asked, trying to hide the excitement in her voice.

“Yeah, we already approved everything, it’s just the final products. I don’t know why they send them, I’m not wearing shirts with my face on them.”

“Even they know you need some variety to your wardrobe,” Colleen teased. “Can I take a look?”

JC eyed his girlfriend skeptically. “Ok but it’s not exciting,” he said, coming back to put the box on the dining room table then going to the kitchen to grab a pair of scissors. 

“I thought you said you guys all collaborate on the collections? I know you care about your fans so I’d like to see what you all approved,” she tried to convince him.

“We do, absolutely, but not much of it is actually new. I get the nostalgia of it all, I just wish we could keep it fresh.”

“Hard to do when you don’t have anything new to promote,” Colleen stated as JC got the box open.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love doing this but it’s just the same old images done in a slightly different way. We technically rebranded when we launched the initial collection and there’s been some cute stuff, just want to give the fans something more.”

Colleen pulled out a black t-shirt with five fluorescent hand prints emblazoned on it. “Oh, my friend had this one! She bought it cuz it meant your hand was on her right boob,” she laughed, holding the shirt up to show JC exactly where his hand would lay.

“See what I mean!” JC exclaimed. “You already know that one. Fans are gonna see that on the website and go “Eh, I already own that.” But it’s not like any of us have any better ideas or the time to invest in thinking them up.”

“Ask the fans what they want,” Colleen offered.

“They’ll just say a reunion,” JC shook his head.

“I’m gonna circle back to that but maybe you need to think outside of what the brand of *NSYNC is but what *NSYNC means to people. You guys have always been pretty self deprecating and in on the joke. Play off of that.”

“What do you mean?”

Colleen put on a Santa hat with an *NSYNC logo on it. “I mean, market some stuff that maybe the casual fan wouldn’t buy but your ardent fans will want twelve of. Sell a makeup bag that says Joshtin Is Real and a picture of you and Justin on the back. Bumper stickers that say I Love Lanth and Because Yes. The amount of pineapple related products alone could be its own collection.”

“What the hell is a Joshtin?” JC asked.

“It’s you and Justin’s fan name,” she explained. Recognition was not registering on JC’s face. “You know how there was Brangelina and Beniffer, where you combine the celebrity’s names? Well, you and Justin are Joshtin, in the same vein that Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson are Larry.”

“Oh God, no!” JC burst out laughing, collapsing on the couch.

“I can’t believe you’ve never heard of it,” Colleen laughed back at him.

“I’m sure I did and just mentally blocked it out. Sounds like you remember a lot more than you let on of your old fan days.”

“Yeah, yeah I do,” Colleen said solemnly, taking off the hat and returning it to the box. She thought back to Sara’s words about embracing the conversation should it come up and she now knew she had too many things to say that she couldn’t ignore any longer. “Do you think we could have that talk now?”

“Yeah, of course Babe,” JC said, scooting over on the couch, allowing Colleen to sit next to him. “Did the other night freak you out?”

“No, actually that was, well, I’m really glad you let me share that with you. I know how important Raina is to you and how vulnerable that whole situation had to be.”

“You do know because you were kind enough to share with me things you’ve never shared with anyone before. That means a lot to me,” JC told her sincerely.

“Well, I need to share something else with you and you know, I’m praying I’m making a bigger deal of it than it actually is but I…” Colleen took in a deep breath. “JC, I’ve had feelings for you for a long time now and they’ve turned into…more than I could have ever imagined.”

“Colleen, I’m right there with you,” JC began.

“No, you’re not,” Colleen cut him off. “I promise you that you are not.” Colleen breathed deep again. “I’m not talking a few months, I’m talking a few years…a few decades. I knew there was something about you the moment I laid eyes on you and I was right. I’ve been right this whole time and now you’re here and I’m here and it doesn’t make any sense that you’re actually even more perfect than I ever imagined.”

“Shit,” JC said softly. “I’m the guy, aren’t I?” 

“Yeah, you’re the guy,” Colleen finally confessed. “You’ve always been the guy. You were always so self assured. You sing like your life is on the line every damn time. You’re just…magnetic and I…I hoped I’d get to meet you and tell you how much your music has helped me over the years, your solo stuff and with the band. I never thought it would progress to all this and now that it has I just…I needed to tell you.”

“Oh,” JC said just as softly, trying to gather his thoughts. She was a fan, not just an *NSYNC fan but a fan of his specifically. He felt like an idiot for not picking up on it sooner but he was so blinded by the idea of having someone to share… “Is that why you went to the club? Because you found out I went there?”

“No!” Colleen shouted, grasping JC’s hands between her own. “I swear to you, I didn’t know. Mistress Piper got it out of me one night that I liked you and she told Raina. That’s why they wanted to play matchmaker, because they knew I already was attracted to you.”

“So, what? You three concocted a plot to distract me from all the shit I’ve been going through? Congratulations, it worked. It worked far too well.” JC got up and went to the kitchen. He could feel himself growing more and more upset by the second.

Colleen followed at a distance. “JC…I didn’t know. I was genuinely surprised that day at my office, it wasn’t a setup, at least by me. As far as what you’re going through, I don’t have an answer to that because you haven’t brought it up.”

“My kid fucking died!” JC screamed, making Colleen take a step back. JC gripped the kitchen counter to steady himself. “Miscarriage, the ex,” he explained, not that it made it any better.

“JC, I’m so sorry,” Colleen said quietly, wanting more than ever to embrace him in a hug. “Is that the fight you had with Raina?”

“Related to it…but you already knew that,” JC scoffed.

“No, JC, I didn’t,” Colleen told him. “I’m not sure what else to say.”

“Why did you do this?” JC asked. “You wanted to what? Fuck the guy who hung on your walls? Fine, I’ve been used enough times for that purpose, I could have handled it. Why did you have to go through this whole ruse of making me fall in love with you?”

Colleen’s breath caught in her throat as the tears she had been holding back spilled down her cheeks. “JC…I love you too. That’s why I’m telling you this. I thought you’d think I was using you if I told you and turns out I was right.”

“Yeah, so you said before,” JC said indignantly. “You think you know so much about me because why? Because you read in a magazine one time what cologne I wear or what I like on my pizza? You don’t actually know me, you think you do, just like everyone else.”

“JC, it has nothing to do with Wikipedia stats. It has everything to do with the kind, amazing, talented soul that you are. You never put on an act, any of you. Meeting only confirmed the great guy I thought you were. Dating you has shown me all the things the public doesn’t see.”

“Like how I get off on being bossed around by a short woman in leather?” JC shot back. “I’m sure that’ll be a great addition to the newsletter.”

“No, like how you sing softly to the radio when you drive. The way you snore the tiniest bit when you are falling asleep and that you somehow always wake up with a smile.”

“That’s cuz I thought I had something to smile about,” JC mumbled but Colleen heard it.

“My point is I could pretend to know you all I wanted, and I did. Ever since we met, the honest and true you blew all my expectations out of the water. I would have fallen for you even if you were a stranger at a bar.”

“Colleen, you don’t love me,” JC stated. “You just think you do. I’ve had girls run up to me and the first thing they tell me is they love me and like, come on, that’s super humbling but it’s not at all true.”

“First of all, please don’t tell me how I feel,” Colleen replied, feeling herself starting to grow defensive. “Second of all, love comes in a million forms so don’t you ever doubt when a fan tells you they love you. You have no idea what you and those guys have done for people over the years.”

“We sang songs and danced around for a couple years. We were lucky and hit at the exact right time. Justin was smart enough to see the writing on the wall and adapted with the music scene, the rest of us didn’t. People love the way seeing us makes them feel, like they’re kids again and all their adult responsibilities take a back seat. They don’t love us, they love what we represent.”

“Is that really the line you’ve been feeding yourself all this time? I don’t know how to make you understand that is still love and even if you can’t, doesn’t the fact that you can just make people smile for a moment out of their shitty day mean anything to you?”

“Of course it does! It’s bizarre as hell and I’m glad I can do that for people but that isn’t love.”

“Why does it need some hard and fast definition for you?”

“Because I’ve had too many people tell me they love me and not mean it.” JC’s mind ran through the images of people who had once told him they loved him and who inevitably proved themselves false. He shut his eyes as more and more people appeared in his memory, the hurt coming back like knives all over his body.

“If I had told you I loved you at the beginning of this conversation, would you have believed me?”

JC sighed, “Yes, I would have.”

“Then why don’t you believe me now?! My feelings didn’t change in the last ten minutes, yours did.”

“Because you’ve been fucking lying to me this whole time!”

“I wasn’t lying!” Colleen yelled back. “I developed real fucking feelings for you. I thought we’d screw around a few times and that would be it. I didn’t think you’d be this perfect.”

“I’m not perfect, Colleen. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. You think I am but I’m far from it. This image in your brain of who you’ve decided I am I can’t live up to.”

“You’re perfect for me, JC. You’re kind and understanding, you listen, you are open to all the weird things about me that you somehow don’t make me feel weird about. I feel like I can be myself around you and being a supportive fan of yours is part of my DNA. It’s ironic that that’s the thing that gives you a problem about me.”

“See? Not perfect.”

“No, not perfect then,” Colleen shook her head. “I think I should go.”

“Here,” JC said, going back over to the box on the coffee table. “Take whatever you want.”

“What is this? A parting gift?” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“JC, this is your stuff. I’m not going to take it.”

“I don’t want it.”

“Why not?”

“I already told you.”

“Why are you always so ashamed of your past?”

JC stared at Colleen, his voice brimming with anger. “You really want to do this right now?”

“Seems like I won’t get another opportunity so sure,” Colleen crossed her arms, refusing to back down. If all her hopes and dreams for this relationship were going to go down in flames, she at least wanted to get a few answers out of him.

“I’m not fucking ashamed, Colleen, but it’s exactly that: the past. People just want to trot us out and perform the same songs over and over and make us be those puppets we fought so hard not to be. I don’t want to do that, it’s not that complicated of an answer.”

“It is because you’re assuming no one wants to hear anything new and that is definitely not the case.”

“You can’t recapture lightning in a bottle.”

“It’s still the same people. It’s not a failure if you don’t make a number one album or have the top earning tour to be a success. You can’t compare 20 years ago to today.”

“Why can’t I? Everybody else does!”

“Who’s comparing? What the fuck are you so scared of?”

“I don’t want to be some nostalgia act. I want to work on new and exciting projects but not something that people keep making me feel like the whole thing rests in my hands.”

“What do you mean?”

“For so long, it had to be all five of us or nothing and we all agreed to that. Then Coachella happened and the moment Justin couldn’t do it, I figured the other guys would be out but they wanted to do this one and Ariana, she’s such a sweetheart and a big fan and it was kind of like, ok, this one time. And I stuck to that and they didn’t. Now all of a sudden it’s like, let’s just do the four of us but I wasn’t leaving Justin out like that. Then after he had some down time, Justin wanted to talk about it but he couldn’t focus all of his time to it. He was getting ready to shoot Palmer so the four of them decided it was up to me to do it all if I was so adamant about new material. I had to write a whole fucking album myself and that was too much pressure. Justin said he’d help after filming but then Jess got pregnant then he wanted to be at home, which I completely respect but while there he started writing for his own next album so it all fell to me once again.”

“JC, I simply can’t believe the other guys expected you to do all the grunt work yourself. Did anyone outright say that you had to compose an entire album?”

“No. They offered to make some calls to different writers and producers, like they didn’t trust me to handle it.”

“Let me make sure I’m understanding. You’re mad that you feel your bandmates are leaving you to put together an album but you are also mad that they offered you help.”

“Right, they didn’t offer TO help.”

“Jesus Christ, really? This is the fucking hang up? The misuse of a preposition?!” Colleen marched over to JC. “What is it you want, JC? Plain English.”

“I want things to go back to how they used to be, us all working together. True collaboration. That’s not possible anymore. We can barely schedule calls let alone be in the same place for more than a few hours without someone needing to be somewhere else.”

“What’s the issue with piecemealing it? I mean, I assume you’d need to actually write the songs before you got in the studio, correct?”

“Yeah, but it’s all fluid and a song changes as you go. All five of us need to have a say.”

“So do it like you do the merch? It gets designed and then tweaked along the way until all five of you agree. Apply the same principle, at least to start.”

“I don’t feel like writing a bunch of songs myself that are just going to get picked apart.”

“You said you’d collaborate with anyone so why not them? You are putting all this pressure on yourself that I don’t think any of them intended. Give them a chance. Work with them on some stuff or at least talk some of this shit out.”

“I’m supposed to what? Go one by one like some traveling salesman?”

“JC, your friends miss you. Lance and Michael said as much when we were over and it sounds like they have no idea what you’ve been struggling with. Lance didn’t once bring up anything about a reunion, he was just happy to see you. Go reconnect with them and if it comes up, just be honest and open. Maybe you do work on stuff, maybe they understand a little better where you are coming from. I don’t know, just stop being so obstinate about it. The world still needs your voice, JC, even if you can’t see that.”

“No it doesn’t, Colleen,” JC shook his head, “and I’m sick of people telling me otherwise. If I was so needed, my career would be in a different spot right now. It worked out how it should have. I love music but I was never comfortable as the star. Being behind the scenes is where I belong.”

“Performing is where you belong as well. Keep lying to yourself if that makes you feel better but it is evident how much you miss it when you actually get the balls to do it. You once said you’d do it if you were broke. Where did that drive go?”

“I’m still doing it, I’m still in the industry. I didn’t completely give up. I just found the place where I can contribute the most.”

“I’m not saying completely change your career path. Yes, so many people, including myself, wish you’d do another solo album and you don’t want to and that’s ok. But you can still perform and not be as crazy famous as you were before. You can have a balance between the two.”

“If I’m not able to embrace that spotlight again, the band won’t be as successful and if I’m going to do it, I need to commit to it 100 percent.”

Colleen stared at JC in disbelief. “JC, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Take it step by step. Forget the word reunion and all it entails at the moment. Do you just want to spend time with your friends and write some music?”

“We can’t…” JC started.

“Don’t worry about schedules and locations and what not right now. Just answer the question.”

“Yeah, I do,” JC admitted.

“Then start there. You’re so convinced everything with your career ended up how it should have, then give this a try and it’ll go how it’s supposed to go. Stop overthinking it; you sound like me,” Colleen gave a small chuckle. “You’re creating a narrative that isn’t there and coming up with so many excuses to not even try that you’re contradicting yourself when even attempting to explain. Search your soul and figure out what it is that you want and go from there.”

“I’ve been dragging my feet for too long by now. Even if I told them, they’re probably just gonna be even angrier at me so what’s the point?”

“The point is, you’ll at least know you were true to yourself, even if that means having someone who means the world to you reject you for it.” Colleen gave JC a sad smile then turned around and walked out the door.

The first thing JC saw as he logged onto his Zoom call was Joey wearing the green *NSYNC Santa sweater and dancing to “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays” as Kloey cheered him on. The second thing he saw was Lance, Justin & Chris all shaking their heads.

“Oh thank God,” Lance exclaimed. “Joey! JC is here, you can stop now.”

“Dad, stop,” Kloey giggled.

Joey looked at the screen then at an imaginary watch on his wrist. “Only 8 minutes late this time,” Joey taunted him. “Where’s Colleen?”

“She had to work,” JC informed the crowd. The fact of the matter was JC didn’t know if she was working or not. He hadn’t heard from her since their fight, though he hadn’t reached out either. It felt like every thing she had said hit a different nerve with him and he still wasn’t sure how to deal with any of it.

Lance & Michael exchanged looks. “Guess Joey won,” Lance said sadly, taking a sip of his drink.

“Silas!” Nash yelled, waving at the computer screen. “I miss you!”

“You don’t have to yell, buddy,” Chris told his son. “Just sit with me and Mommy and don’t touch anything.” Nash looked at his father and blew a raspberry at him. Chris did the same in return.

“Sorry, last minute diaper change,” Jess said as she slid into view with Phinn in her arms. 

“Briahna!” Joey yelled. “Come say hi!”

“She’s home?” Lance asked.

“Got home yesterday for break,” Joey confirmed.

Briahna popped her head into view. “Hi,” she quickly said and started to leave. “Oh, it’s actually important people. I thought it was going to be Matt or someone stupid.”

“Hey! All of my friends are important just not all of my friends are famous,” Joey countered.

“Yeah, they just wish they were,” Briahna rolled her eyes then smiled at the screen. “Hi Justin,” she waved.

“Hi Briahna,” Justin waved back with a laugh.

“Gross,” Joey deadpanned at his eldest daughter. “Don’t flirt with my friends. He changed your diapers.”

Briahna walked away and shouted from off screen, “I’m gonna tell everyone at school Justin Timberlake saw my vagina!”

“Well Joey, you were worried you didn’t spend enough time with her growing up but there is no doubt she is your daughter,” Lance pointed out as all the adults laughed hysterically.

“Dad, what’s a…” Silas started.

“Not right now, Si,” Justin told him while he tried to quell his laughter. “Glad we still have a few years before we get to teenage smart ass comebacks.”

“Oh, we passed that. She turned twenty this year. That’s pure Fatone sass,” Joey reminded them.

“Twenty?!” All four other members exclaimed.

“Hey, I’m glad I had her early. You guys are screwed when you have to pay for college a decade from now. Chris will be an actual senior citizen at that point,” Joey joked.

“Yeah, thanks for the AARP subscription for my birthday, Joe,” Chris said, covering Nash’s eyes and giving the camera the middle finger.

“Dad, what’s that mean?” Silas asked.

“It means I love you but only to this group. Don’t go flashing that around at school,” Justin tried to explain away quickly to his son.

“Alright children,” Lance announced. “Can we get on with the proceedings?”

“You got somewhere more important to be?” Chris asked him.

“No but I want my present,” Lance laughed.

“He’s so greedy,” Michael chimed in.

“Ok, who went first last year?” Joey asked.

“Joey, I don’t remember what I did two hours ago. How am I supposed to remember last year?” Lance stated.

“You don’t remember what we did two hours ago?” Michael acted shocked. “I guess it wasn’t as good for you as you claimed it was.”

“Jesus guys,” Justin laughed, putting his head in his hands.

“I kept that vague enough the kids shouldn’t get it,” Michael reassured him.

“I got it,” Kloey piped up.

“Oh, did you? Come here, whisper it and let me see,” Joey urged his daughter. Kloey leaned over and spoke into Joey’s ear and a look of surprise showed on his face. “Oh no, she got that,” Joey confirmed before turning back to his daughter. “What does your Mother let you watch over there?”

“JC, did you want to add any words of depravity to the young minds in attendance?” Lance joked.

“I think you all have that covered,” JC stated. “I’m just enjoying watching the four ring circus.”

“Did we figure out who goes first or should we just pick out of a hat?” Chris asked.

“JC went first last year,” Karly confirmed, “so it’s Justin’s turn this year.” When the guys decided to go Pollyanna style with their gifts a few years back, they agreed to go in *NSYNC order, believing it would be easier for them to remember who was next each year. Not a one of them ever remembered though.

“Sweet! I got Justin this year,” Chris proclaimed.

“Phinn, can you hand this to Daddy?” Jess asked her youngest son as she handed him a thick envelope. Phinn grabbed hold and after a few minutes of cajoling, finally handed it over to Justin.

“I feel like I need to ask if this is going to be child appropriate after the way this call has been going,” Justin joked as he opened the envelope. “Ok…” Justin smiled as he viewed the contents, clearly confused.

“Well, show us,” Lance prodded.

Justin held up a stack of rectangular paper stapled together at one end, with a cover that said “Justin & Chris’s Weekend Getaways” in crayon. “You made me a coupon book?” Justin laughed as he flipped through it. “Where’s the foot rub one cuz I’m cashing that in immediately when I see you next.”

“Gift one and it’s already not kid friendly. These children don’t need to be exposed to your so called “weekend getaways”. Look how much it traumatized JC from sharing a bus with the two of you?” Joey offered.

“Kloey, hit him,” Chris instructed, which she gladly did so with a giggle. “Nash had to make one for school and I thought this would be the best way to give you this present. Plus, I got to play with crayons. Just actually read it.”

“Ah, no way!” Justin’s smile grew as he read each page. “This is awesome!”

“Are you going to share or do I have to start guessing?” Joey threatened, making a blow job motion with his fist and tongue.

Justin held up the book to the camera. “It’s vouchers for us to go golfing at different clubs. Are these all U.S. Open courses?”

“The ones for the past ten years, yeah. Except Pebble cuz you play that all the time. Hoping we could get in a long weekend or three this year and hit up a couple and relax and be stupid.”

“We don’t need golf to be stupid,” Justin chuckled. “Thanks man, this is really cool. I promise when I’m done shooting, we’ll set up something.”

“Also, I know you’ve been looking for a new putter so if you find one you like, let me know and I’ll handle it,” Chris continued. “I was going to just buy you one but you get so much free shit as it is, I didn’t know if Callaway already sent you like five to test out.”

Justin smiled back at Chris then moved on. “Ok, I have Lance this year.” Michael also handed Lance an envelope.

“If this is a coupon book, I swear…” Lance laughed. He opened the envelope and showed everyone the picture inside. “Apparently Justin wants us to downsize?” Lance questioned as everyone viewed the picture of a tiny grey house he had received.

“The opposite actually,” Justin explained. “You guys are trying to freshen up the house for some future babies and I know Michael uses the dining room to paint. So, I got Michael his own art studio. It’s not much but it’s space and has a generator for electricity and a water supply enough for a sink and storage for supplies. It’ll be delivered after the holidays and if it doesn’t fit in the backyard, blame Lisa cuz she did the measuring.”

“Wow, Justin…that’s incredibly thoughtful, thank you,” Lance stated, getting a little misty eyed.

“I just want to point out this is technically a gift for me,” Michael teased.

“Oh no, it’s definitely a gift for me so I don’t have to be stuck in my office to take calls anymore,” Lance laughed.

“Seriously, Justin. This is truly amazing, thank you so much,” Michael beamed.

“Alright Fatone, you’re up next!” Lance announced..

“Another freaking envelope?!” Joey exclaimed as Kloey handed it over to him. “God, we’re boring.”

“Hey, I got a house in mine,” Lance stated back.

“Is it a house?!” Joey asked excitedly.

“It’s not a house,” Lance told him. Joey made an exaggerated frown before opening the envelope.

“Ohhh….Senses!” Joey showed off the plastic card with pink curly script and an image of lit candles behind it. “Is this so I can get in touch with my inner self?”

“Pretty sure you don’t need any help touching yourself, Joe,” Chris quipped. Justin put his head down again to hide his laughter.

Lance rolled his eyes. “You’re always bitching about Mulvi’s jacuzzi and you’re at Disney all the time anyway so I got you an annual pass to their spa so you can use their jacuzzi any time you want.”

“No shit! This is awesome, thanks Lance,” Joey said appreciatively. “Don’t tell Mulvi though, I like busting his chops about it.”

“As long as I don’t have to hear about it anymore, I’ll keep my mouth shut,” Lance confirmed.

“Ok, my turn,” Joey announced. “I got JC this year.”

“I do not have an envelope but a large Fed-Ex box,” JC said, lifting up the package to sit on his lap. “Something tells me I should already be worried.”

“You and Colleen will love it,” Joey told him.

“Now I’m definitely worried,” JC chuckled. He got the box open and stared, then turned to the screen to give Joey a sarcastic look before going back to the box. “What the hell is wrong with you?” JC shook his head.

“I realize some things you probably already have but a fresh set never hurt anyone,” Joey grinned.

JC looked down at the assortment of sex toys and implements Joey put in the box. There was a set of restraints, a cross bar, a ball gag, a butt plug, a flogger, a cock ring, nipple clamps and a sizable bottle of lube, and that’s just what JC could see without digging in the box further. “Did Adam & Eve have a sale going on?”

“Joey, no you didn’t!” Lance yelled as the other adults once again broke into a fit of laughter.

“I didn’t know what you’d need and I certainly wasn’t going to ask so I figured a variety would do the trick,” Joey explained.

“Let me point out he just threw things in a box,” JC laughed. “Nothing’s wrapped or anything, it’s just a box of, you know…stuff.”

“No, one thing is labeled for Colleen in there,” Joey pointed out with a smile. JC gave him another look before searching the box, finding a tag with Colleen’s name on it.

“To Colleen,” JC read out loud, “Figured you’d need this to keep him in line.” Attached to the tag, JC pulled out a leather collar and leash. “Really Joey?” JC asked, attempting to hide the humor in his voice.

“Tell me I’m wrong!” Joey challenged.

“Daddy! Is JC getting a puppy?!” Nash asked excitedly. Justin was laughing so hard by this point, he was crying and about to fall out of his chair.

“No, actually JC’s girlfriend Colleen got an old rescue dog that has some really bad habits so she’s got to train him super hard,” Chris explained. Karly swiftly hit Chris in the back of the head. “Tell me I’m wrong!” he echoed Joey’s earlier statement back to her.

“Well, thanks Joey,” JC shook his head, setting the box back down on the ground.

“No wait, there’s one thing in there you can show everybody,” Joey prompted him.

JC reluctantly pulled the box back up and sifted through. “I got an envelope!” JC said triumphantly as everyone cheered. “Are you sure I can show this to everyone?”

“Positive,” Joey claimed.

JC opened the envelope to find a handwritten note, which he read out loud. “JC & Colleen, your hotel reservations are shit for your New Years’ trip to Miami. I upgraded you to a suite at the Fontainebleau. Ring in the year with several bangs. Love Joey. P.S. I already ran this through Eric, don’t get your panties in a wad about the change.” JC laughed and tucked the note back in the envelope. “Thanks Joey, I appreciate it,” he said with a small smile.

“Uh, you two are still going, right?” Joey asked carefully.

“Yeah, absolutely, looking forward to it,” JC forced a smile on his face which all of the guys immediately saw through.

“My turn! My turn!” Chris announced, intentionally drawing the attention away from JC. He jumped up and brought over a large box that looked heavy from the way Chris was carrying it.

“Sorry Chris, I missed the memo about the envelopes this year,” JC stated.

“You always miss the memo,” Chris teased him as he opened the box to find several wrapped items. He picked one up and showed it to the camera. “See Joey, mature adults actually wrap the presents.”

“Oh, you want to talk about wrapping presents?” Karly scoffed.

“That’s why I said mature adults,” Chris smiled and gave his wife a quick kiss.

“Daddy, can I help?” Nash asked.

“Sure,” Chris told him, lifting up a few objects and handing Nash one that felt light. He pulled out the heaviest object for himself and unwrapped it. “No way!” he exclaimed, quickly tearing off the rest of the paper to reveal a mixing board.

“Is that a Solid State?” Justin asked then whistled.

“I got paper!” Nash jumped up and down, holding a few packets of blank sheet music. Chris was still staring at the board so Nash decided to help himself to the next item, Karly quickly running over to keep him from tipping anything over. Nash tore open the wrapping on the next present and looked at it with confusion. “I don’t know what this is.”

Chris pulled himself away from the mixing board to see what was in Nash’s hand. “That’s called a windscreen. You set it up in front of a…” Chris stopped himself as he saw the last package in the box. He was almost scared to open it as he knew what it had to be.

“I got you one with the pop filter already on it but it’s removable,” JC said as Chris revealed the new microphone JC had gifted him.

“C, this is incredible. I seriously don’t know how to thank you,” Chris said clearly overwhelmed.

“It’s no problem,” JC brushed off. “I just thought your setup could use an upgrade. I figured maybe after I get back from Miami, maybe I could come by and help you get it up and running. You know, test it all out, maybe work on some stuff.”

“Wait…what do you mean by work on some stuff?” Chris asked, hurrying back to sit in front of the computer.

“I mean, I don’t know. Maybe sketch out some tunes and just jam and see what happens,” JC explained, scratching the back of his neck.

The other four members all stared at him in disbelief.

“Oh no, the screen froze,” Silas noted.

“No Silas, it didn’t….” Justin tried to get out before Silas hit a button on their computer which caused their screen to go away.

“JC, you know you’re welcome any time,” Chris told him. “I mean, I’m going to keep all this stuff but getting to spend some time with you is the real present.”

A collective “Awwwww” came from Michael, Lance and Joey. 

“Yeah, I know I’ve been kind of…distant for a while and I just, I don’t know, it’s probably just a selfish gift I’m pretending is altruistic,” JC tried to explain. 

“Can you bring Colleen’s dog with you?” Nash asked.

“That won’t be a problem,” JC laughed.

The screen moved as Justin reconnected to the call. “Sorry about that. Did we miss anything?”

“Just Chris and JC making doe eyes at each other,” Joey informed him.

“Ah, now you know which of us actually got traumatized on the tour bus,” Justin said with a grin.

As their call continued on, JC watched as all his friends and their families interacted with each other. It made him smile but it hurt just the same. He always wished things could go back to the way they were before with the five of them but seeing how far they’d come, in that moment, he wouldn’t have changed a thing. The band would always be important to each of them but it wasn’t the priority anymore and JC had to accept that even if they tried, their families and other obligations weren’t going to go away. They’d all grown up; he was the one who hadn’t.

Colleen was right, if it was going to work at all, there had to be a balance. Colleen. JC turned slightly to where Colleen would have been seated for this call and desperately wished she was there with him. She would have loved seeing them all act like idiots and laugh together. He wouldn’t have to explain to her about Joey and the jacuzzi, as a fan she probably already knew the joke and she would have appreciated it more than just some girl laughing along for the sake of fitting in. He realized in that instant she already fit in. 

“Alright, it’s nap time,” Justin announced as Phinn let out a small cranky cry. “Think we need to wrap this up.”

“Yeah, we actually should have been at the neighbors twenty minutes ago,” Chris said. “This was really great though, let’s try to do this more than just at Christmas.”

“I love you guys,” Lance said, raising his glass.

“Love you morons as well,” Joey smiled.

“Bye Silas!” Nash yelled, waving at the screen.

“Bye Nash, love you,” Silas replied, extending his middle finger.

“Look what you did!” Jess yelled through a laugh at Justin. “This one’s on you, have fun unteaching him that.”

“Ok, now I really have to go. Love you guys,” Justin said as he gave them all the middle finger and a smile. The rest of the group caught Jess smacking his shoulder as he disconnected the call.

“Well, on that note, Merry Christmas,” Joey said with a two middle finger salute.

“Nope,” Karly said, grabbing Nash away from the screen. “Go potty before we have to leave.” She got up to follow him but turned back to give a smile and a middle finger to the group.

“Goodnight Karly!” Lance yelled as he and Michael returned the gesture in kind.

“Can I, Dad?” Kloey asked her father.

“Just this once. Don’t you dare tell your mother,” Joey told her.

Kloey grinned as she put up her middle finger, “I love you Uncle Lance, Uncle Michael, Uncle Chris and Uncle JC.”

“We love you, too,” Lance and Michael said, waving their middle fingers at her.

“Love you, Kloey, I love you guys,” Chris said, joining in the hand gesture.

“Come on, JC. You have to do it,” Lance pressured him.

JC covered his eyes and shot up his middle finger. “We’re all going to hell,” he laughed. “I love you all too.”

After another quick round of I love you’s and goodbye’s, the meeting disconnected and the laughter died off JC’s lips as he found himself alone once again.

JC went to his liquor cabinet and gave himself a healthy pour of Maker’s into a glass. He was about to take a sip when he heard his phone buzz from where he had left it next to his laptop. He trotted over to answer it. “Hey, I thought you were going to the neighbors?”

“I sent them ahead,” Chris replied as his face showed concern over the FaceTime call. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“Is something wrong with what I sent?”

“No, it’s…it’s incredible! I’m seriously beyond grateful it’s just…I know this was expensive. You didn’t have to do all this.”

“Don’t worry about it. I wanted to get it for you.”

“Why?”

JC looked at his phone in surprise. “Why? I told you, you’ve been using the same set up for a while now. Thought you might like something a little more fresh.”

“And you’re gonna come down to Tennessee and help me learn it all, right?” Chris said suspiciously.

“Yeah, unless you don’t want me to?” 

“I absolutely want you to but that still doesn’t explain why.”

“What exactly are you trying to ask me, Chris?”

Chris sighed. “You know I respect your privacy and try not to ask a lot of questions…”

“But…” JC interjected.

“Where’s Colleen?”

“I told you, at work.”

“Where is she actually?”

“I don’t know,” JC admitted, walking back to retrieve his drink on the counter, realizing he was definitely going to need it.

“JC, what is going on with you, man? You meet some girl and you disappear, you show up with some other girl and you seem happy for the first time in a while and now you want to all of a sudden work on stuff when I’ve been begging you for years? Maybe I’m looking the gift horse in the mouth but what has been going on with you?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Uncomplicate it for me.”

“You still have to get to your party.”

“Fuck the party. I need to know what’s going on with you.”

JC sat down and was silent for a moment. It took a lot for Chris to confront someone about what they were going through because he hated it when the tables were turned. JC knew that meant Chris was actually concerned, they all were. He was tired and run down and so much of him hurt lately, he just needed to get it out in the open to someone.

For the next 45 minutes, JC unloaded everything on Chris, who patiently listened. JC told him about the miscarriage with the ex and their attempts to try again to their eventual break up. He talked about his fight with Raina and his return to her. He talked about Colleen, how they met and how he fell in love with her and how he didn’t know how things stood after their fight.

“You’re really that angry she’s a fan?” Chris asked as he sipped his drink, having poured himself some whiskey to join JC.

“She lied, Chris.”

“What if she came right out and told you? You wouldn’t have believed anything else out of her mouth and you know it. This relationship never would have gotten as far as it did all because you have this weird hang up about your fame.”

“It’s not a weird hang up. I don’t want to get used, I consider that a pretty understandable line to not want crossed. Besides, she said she thought we’d just screw around and that would be that so why put me through all of this?”

“Did you ever think for a second she actually did fall in love with you?”

“She fell in love with the idea of who I was long ago and she’s projecting it all onto the actual me. I can’t compete with the hyped up version of myself that lives in her head. She’s got all these sex fantasies she’s accumulated…about me. It’s fucking weird.”

“So? Karly’s done the same thing and you don’t see me getting bent out of shape about it.”

“Karly had sex fantasies about you before you guys met?”

“No, she had them about you.”

JC fought hard not to spit out the sip he had just taken. “What?!” he finally shouted.

“Yep. She told me once we started dating more seriously. Didn’t bother me but if you tell her you know I’ll murder you,” Chris threatened.

“I’ll keep quiet,” JC promised, “but, how do I put this…they weren’t about you. Wouldn’t that make you feel weird if you knew she’d been getting off to pictures of you when she was younger? Wouldn’t you be skeptical of her intentions once you found out?”

“First off all, if she had a crush on me before I met her, it would have made things a LOT easier. For real though, I would have loved it. I would’ve made it my mission to fulfill every depraved fantasy she had about me and then I would lord it over her like I just won the Intercontinental Championship.”

“This is where you and I are different,” JC laughed.

“As far as her intentions,” Chris grew more serious, “I’d think about where we were in our relationship and what she meant to me. Was she showing me off to her friends or making every date be somewhere public? Was she constantly posting pictures of me on Instagram? Were stories starting to circulate about what we were doing? If I’m not feeling exploited, then I’m going to trust while she may have come in with lots of preconceived notions, that I either proved them wrong and she didn’t care or I proved them right and having a crush on me in the first place worked out.”

“She avoided her friends cuz of me,” JC told him. “I didn’t want her to do that so I encouraged her to tell them. They didn’t believe her and they lost their minds when I showed up. I thought it was over the top anyways but now I know they knew how she felt.”

“The fact she didn’t want to tell her friends should tell you a lot right there.”

“We realized that day we didn’t have any pictures together and she said she didn’t ask because she knew how private I was. She promised not to post it.”

“Did she?”

“I honestly don’t know. I don’t follow her, I didn’t want to throw up any red flags to the public.”

“What’s her last name?”

“Lasota. Why?” JC asked. 

“I’m gonna check for you,” Chris said, placing the phone down so that JC could see him typing on his laptop. “Nope, no pictures of you.” He began typing again. “No articles about you two together either. Oh, she was named Top 40 Under 40 in LA this year? Impressive!”

“I had wanted to go to the ceremony but knew if I showed up it would take all the attention away from her.”

“Sounds like, I don’t know, you both care about and respect each other?” JC was silent so Chris continued to another point. “You both also shared some super intimate sex stuff with each other. That alone goes beyond her just wanting to fuck you a few times to say she did.”

“She could have made it all up.”

“Seems super elaborate and weirdly specific to be made up. You’ve always been really open with the shit you like but most people aren’t built that way. I think it took a few years of marriage until I finally felt like I could share some stuff with Karly. It’s fucking terrifying; I don’t know how you do it so easily.”

“I’m careful with who I tell. It’s not like it comes up on the first date.”

“Except with Colleen it did,” Chris pointed out.

“Well, that was obviously a very different circumstance,” JC argued.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” Chris sighed. “If having a girlfriend who respects your privacy, indulges your interests, accepts your past, supports your future and on top of all that, understands the relationship between you and the lady that spanks your ass is too much for you, then she’s not the right one.”

JC shot Chris a look. “You know it’s more complicated than that.”

“It’s really not,” Chris countered. “If her being a fan is really a problem, then you need to break up with her. For most situations, I might agree, but for this one, I think you just think it’s a problem due to history.”

“How’s that?”

“Because you’ve had girlfriends use you for your celebrity and then try to ruin your reputation when you broke it off. I get your fear of it happening again but she’s done literally the opposite of the others. Most importantly, she’s encouraging you to continue to be independent, to work on your career, to rediscover the magic you still have in you.”

“I get it, Chris. You’re Team Colleen cuz she wants a reunion just like everyone else,” JC chuckled.

“First of all, I’m always Team JC and I wasn’t directly talking about that but since you brought it up: who’s idea was this gift anyway?”

“Mine.”

“The whole gift?”

“Yes,” JC said. “You’re speaking cryptically again.”

“Ok, let me put it plainly. You had this fight with Colleen where she encouraged you to think differently about a reunion and reconnect with us and suddenly I have new recording equipment and a request to come visit and work on some shit. Do you see the correlation?”

“I, um,” JC started, trying to sort out his words.

“She got to you, C, and that’s not a bad thing. I’m not going to tell you what to do but whatever you decide, I hope you at least apologize for being an asshole about it.”

“Saying how I feel is being an asshole?”

“No, it’s not but that’s not what you did. You unleashed all your fear and hurt on that woman and all she tried to do was tell you that she’s loved you forever. In lifetimes before, probably.”

“I hate you,” JC laughed despite himself.

“No you don’t, you love me, and you love Colleen too. And I love you so I say this with love: you see the obstacles in your life so fervently that you can’t see what’s on the other side of them anymore. You coming down is like seeing you finally start to get out of your own way, like seeing the guy I initially met who had all this ambition, and as your friend, it’s really gratifying to see. As your band mate, I’ll take anything that gets your head out of your ass. As both, if Colleen has inspired any of this, she’s probably a good person to keep around.”

“I thought you weren’t going to tell me what to do.”

“I lied, are you really surprised?” Chris smiled and winked. “JC, next time, don’t keep all this shit in. You don’t have to talk to me, but talk to somebody, ok?”

“Ok Chris,” JC agreed. 

“Alright, I’m gonna go but know I’m holding you to coming down here. Also, you’re gonna need to adopt a dog. Nash asked about seven questions about it before they left.”

“The first part you can hold me to, the second we’ll see about,” JC told him. “Thanks for calling, man. I really appreciate it.”

“Call whenever you need to. I’m not a mind reader but I’ll check in more often. Love you, brother,” Chris said, raising his now empty glass.

“Love you too,” JC returned the gesture and ended the call.

Meanwhile, Colleen sat at her desk, plunging into another late night at the office. In truth, she didn’t need to be there but the distraction was helpful. She kept telling herself she was trying to get ahead of work so she wouldn’t be bogged down when she got back from Miami but she knew in her heart she wasn’t going. Maybe she’d exchange the ticket to go see her parents. She could be back by New Years’ and she was sure Matthew would know the best place to get very very drunk.

Colleen’s phone dinged next to her and she glanced to see an Instagram notification pop up. She grabbed the phone to look at it more carefully. “Why the hell is Chris following me?” she said out loud to herself. Then she remembered the party was tonight. She sighed deeply. She had really been looking forward to seeing all five of them together, even if it was virtually. It was the closest to a reunion she’d probably ever see and she stupidly opened her mouth and missed her chance.

She put her head on her desk and breathed. Colleen knew she should call Mistress Piper but didn’t want to explain about her and JC’s fight. She wanted to be angry. She was getting up at 4:30am to do early morning kickboxing to subside her anger then still had enough time for Pilates with Kyle and get to work to stay into the night. She knew it wasn’t healthy, probably even a bit self destructive, but she didn’t care. She brought this pain on herself so she decided to feed it for a bit.

Colleen was never one to wallow in self pity. She could normally bounce right back after a guy broke up with her, realizing if he couldn’t handle her, he obviously wasn’t worth her time. Only her law school boyfriend Rick had caused her this much grief. Three years together and he threw it all away by bringing some woman from his internship home to fuck in their bed. He finally confessed it had been happening for months but not until Colleen got out of work early one day and caught them. She vowed never to let anyone make her feel so disposable again and she wasn’t about to let that change now.

She went back to her paperwork until her phone pinged again. Colleen took another glance and this time held her breath as she saw who the message was from.

J: Hey, I’m sorry I haven’t called. I needed some time to think.

Colleen put her phone in her desk and refused to look at it until her work on this file was at least done. No way she’d be able to concentrate anymore this evening but she needed to push through this last little bit. About 15 minutes later, she closed the file and allowed herself to look at her phone once more.

J: I’m sorry I reacted the way I did. It was a knee jerk reaction because of the way things have gone for me previously and that wasn’t fair to you to assume the same.

While she was happy to hear from JC and even happier to see his apology, she was still mad as hell and didn’t feel like making this easy just yet.

C: Ok

J: Ok as in you accept my apology or ok as in I can fuck off?

C: Closer to the latter.

J: That’s fair. Can I call?

C: I’m working.

Technically a lie at this point but she was still at work so that had to count for something, she reasoned.

J: Do you want me to order you some food?

C: I can take care of myself, thank you.

JC could hear the sarcasm through the text. She was mad, he didn’t blame her. 

J: I’m sorry.

C: You said that.

J: Do you still plan on coming to Miami?

C: Do you still want me to come to Miami?

JC couldn’t help but laugh. She was not going to make this easy on him. Somehow she always found a way to challenge him, not in an argumentative way normally, but to make him really spell out what he wanted. Right now, all he wanted was her.

J: Yes, I would like it if you still came to Miami. I’d love to ring in the New Year with you and maybe talk about what the future holds for us.

C: According to you there is no future, JC. All because I’m a fan of you. I told you from the beginning that I wasn’t trying to change you and didn’t want you trying to change me so since you can’t accept a key part of who I am, I don’t see what else there is to talk about.

“Fuck,” JC said to himself. He’d overreacted, he’d assumed the worst and now he was paying for it.

J: Can I please call?

C: I told you, I’m working.

J: You obviously aren’t getting much done if you have time to text me.

Colleen gave the screen the middle finger. She hated how well he knew her. She hated that she wanted to hear his voice. She hated that she knew as soon as he asked her to join him, she’d agree. It was safer to keep him at a distance right now.

C: Fine.

She may not have liked it the same way JC did but apparently she was also a glutton for punishment. Colleen took a breath before answering JC’s incoming call seconds later.

“Hey,” he said softly.

“Hi,” she tried to say evenly but her delivery came off annoyed.

“I’m not sure what to say,” JC admitted. “I just want to make things right with us.”

“You can’t just magically say the right thing, JC. You have to say what’s in your heart, otherwise you end up miserable.”

“How are you so unlike every other woman I’ve dated?” JC said out loud, nearly surprising himself.

“Apparently because you don’t date fans,” Colleen shot back.

“That’s not what I meant. Any other woman would have demanded an apology, probably even told me exactly what to say and expected some form of monetary gift. That’s not your style.”

“Why would I want to pretend everything is ok when it’s not? I’m not trying to manipulate you, I want the real you and I’m trying to give you the real me. If that doesn’t work, neither one of us can force that.”

“I love you,” JC blurted out.

Colleen held her breath. She’d wanted to hear those words from him for so long; she never imagined they’d hurt this badly when she did. “Well, sometimes love isn’t enough, JC.”

The line was silent for a few moments. “I’m sorry,” JC finally spoke.

“You said that.”

“Well, I’m saying it again. I’m sorry I flipped out at you. It shouldn’t be a big deal but it is to me. Exes have loved trying to push me to be the man I used to be, going through my things to pose with various memorabilia they could find, I’ve even had some call the paparazzi so we could get spotted together. The only women who didn’t want to show off that we were dating were ones who didn’t know who I was, who just saw me as a regular guy.”

“JC, anyone who was actually a fan would know you guys sang a whole fucking song about how you didn’t want to be treated like that,” Colleen pointed out. “I should have been more honest from the start and for that, I’m sorry. I really didn’t know you had gone through all that and when I started to realize it was as big an issue as it was, I got scared. I’ve loved you for a long time JC but only recently did I fall in love with you and I needed to come clean, for better or in this case, worse.”

“It’s…weird to have someone so supportive who doesn’t have ulterior motives.”

“Like pushing for a reunion?”

“Yeah…like that. You never once brought it up until the other night.”

“Well, mostly cuz I wasn’t real sure I’d get the chance again so I was selfish and took the opportunity,” Colleen confessed. “Let me go on record that of course I’d love a reunion but I’m never going to push you to do something you don’t want to do. However, I think you do and you’re just scared so, yeah, I’m gonna push you a bit to get through that because I fucking believe in you and your talent. Maybe it never happens and that’s…as a fan, yeah, it would make me sad but if you find it’s not in your heart, then I’d support that.”

“You keep saying that…what’s in your heart. What’s in your heart, Colleen?”

Colleen sat there stunned for a moment, not prepared for the tables to have turned on her that quickly. “JC, I’ve had a crush on you since I was a kid. I’ve tried for a long time to get to tell you and you fell into my lap in the absolutely strangest way possible and, suddenly, it was about way more than that. I can’t dissect what feelings were there prior and which ones came along naturally. What I can tell you is I’ve connected with in a way I never thought was possible with anyone. I love you, JC.”

“I’m sorry I questioned that,” JC admitted.

“What about you? How are you feeling?”

“I hated being alone on that call tonight. Everyone was just so happy and they all have these lives that…when it comes to a reunion, I think of us still as the carefree 20 somethings we were, who could rearrange schedules and make the band a priority. I realize I’m the only one who can do that anymore.”

“JC, it isn’t all…”Colleen started.

“No, I, well, I do still feel like that but right now I’m the one with the most flexible schedule and I’m the one who’s been the most resistant. So I feel like that means I at least need to be the one to get the ball rolling.”

“Is that what you want to do?”

“I told Chris I’d come down after our trip and we can spend a few days just fooling around with some stuff. Figured that was at least a place to start. I hope that’s ok?”

“You don’t need my permission. Sounds like he liked all that recording gear you got.”

“He did. You should see what Joey got us, or rather, be glad you didn’t have to deal with any of that embarrassment,” JC laughed.

“Let me guess, the kids are now traumatized.”

“We had to tell Nash you adopted a dog.”

Colleen tried to understand what that comment meant but it clicked soon enough and she started laughing. “So he got you a My First S&M set?!”

“He probably would've done it anyway but safe to say the secret’s out about how we met.”

“Figured that would happen eventually.”

“He also got us a suite at a swanky hotel in Miami for our trip.”

“Wow, that was really nice of him.”

“It was.” JC let the words hang in the air for a moment. “You still haven’t said if you wanted to come down.”

“I do, I just…what happens if I say something about how I know X song, or remember an outfit you once wore or want to wear some of the merch? I don’t want you putting up a front if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“I don’t have an all encompassing answer to that,” JC admitted. “What I do know is that you just being you makes me smile so if your enthusiasm over the band and myself is part of that, then I need to accept that if I want to make this work. Colleen, I really want to make this work and I promise if something makes me uncomfortable, I’ll tell you.”

“Ok,” Colleen said quietly, almost scared to believe him.

“You have been so encouraging and accepting of me in a way that’s never happened to me before. Maybe I’m selfish but I don’t want to lose that. I don’t want to lose you. I love you, Babe.”

“I love you too.”

“Will you still come to Miami? Will you still give me a chance?”

“Yes, I’ll come to Miami,” Colleen smiled. “I wasn’t sure you’d want to keep seeing me but don’t think for a second that I’d ever give up on you.”

JC felt the weight of the fight with finally leave him as he smiled and wished he could kiss her that second. “I wish I could see you right now.”

“What time is your flight tomorrow?” she asked.

“Early. 7:15am,” JC confirmed.

“Are you packed?”

“Mostly. I’m guessing I need more than hats and t-shirts, at least for New Years’ Eve.”

“I’ll make you a deal. I’ll wear the suit if you wear the sequined cocktail dress,” Colleen joked.

“Don’t think I won’t, I got the legs to pull it off,” he teased right back. “I feel guilty leaving you by yourself at Christmas.”

“I’m not alone, JC. I’ll be at Kyle’s with my friends. You haven’t seen your parents in a while, I’m glad you’re gonna go spend some time with them. That’s actually why you need more outfits, your mom will definitely think you are wearing the same thing every day.”

“I made sure they had different designs,” he tried to say seriously but ended up laughing during delivery. “I’ll pack a few nice things.”

“Good.” Silence filled the line. It shouldn’t have been awkward but it was. The first fight had been survived yet there was still an unease in the air. “So, I’ll see you on the 29th then?”

“Yeah. I’ll send you the info for the new hotel.”

“Sounds good.”

“I love you, Colleen. I can’t wait to see you,” JC said sincerely.

“I love you too, JC. Let me know you got in ok tomorrow.”

“I will,” JC promised, then after a few moments reluctantly ended the call. He gulped down the last of his whiskey as he headed upstairs to finish his packing.

Colleen stood up from her desk and walked to close her office door. Even though she knew no one else was there, she locked it shut before sliding down it into a heap, letting her emotions finally break free as the tears she’d been holding cascaded down her face. It ironically felt cathartic as she gasped for breath, feeling like she was actually breathing again since their fight. She was looking forward to the extra sleep in the morning as there was no more need for those kickboxing classes

Colleen’s plane touched down at 4:32pm in Miami two days before New Years’ Eve. Work was done for the time being and she was looking forward to her first real vacation in quite a while. Of course, there was still one glaring problem.

She had texted with JC periodically over the holiday and they talked for a bit on Christmas Day but they hadn’t actually seen each other since their fight. She knew it shouldn’t matter but she was anxious nonetheless. JC had asked her to let him know when she got in so he could call her an Uber but she waited until she was in one of her own and let him know she was on her way. She loved him and she liked, for once, someone trying to be accommodating, but she was still feeling like she needed to show JC she was independent and could take care of herself.

Colleen entered the lobby about 45 minutes later. While she came in from the street side, she could smell how close to the ocean they were. She passed through the marble columns and massive crystal chandeliers to the bank of elevators she found and called for the car. She entered and hit the button for the 14th floor and after the short ride, headed to the room number JC had texted her. She paused just a moment, telling herself not to leap into his arms the moment she saw him, then held her breath as she knocked.

Within a few seconds, JC opened the door. “Hey,” he smiled widely. “Here, let me get those,” he stated, reaching for Colleen’s suitcase and dress bag. 

Colleen followed JC into the room and whistled. “Damn Fatone,” she marveled as she took in the living room set up with its black and white furniture scheme and bright colored abstract painting over the couch to offset the decor. Floor to ceiling windows offered a view directly over the beach to the horizon.

“You haven’t even seen the best part,” JC said, taking her hand and leading her to the bedroom. While the room itself was on the smaller side, with only the king bed and a small chair occupying it, it was the balcony outside that made her mouth fall open. Again, the room offered full length windows that wrapped around the side as well. She found one that was actually a sliding glass door and pushed it open, the ocean breeze instantly filling her lungs.

She walked out to find a lounge set up with an assortment of chairs surrounding a coffee table that had two champagne flutes sitting on it. JC went over to the table and picked them up, handing one to Colleen and silently clinking their glasses as he took a sip.

“I don’t even want to know what this cost him,” Colleen said, still taking everything in.

“You don’t, I looked,” JC stated, “but Joey is always good at making deals so I feel pretty confident he didn’t pay the sticker price.” JC took another sip of his champagne. “I made late dinner reservations downstairs on account of the time difference, I hope that’s ok.”

“Yeah, I grabbed a snack at the airport so I’m good for a bit,” she said, still enjoying the view. This felt like a movie, not real life. When she finally turned to JC, he was staring at her with a smile on his face. “What?” she asked him.

“I’m just really glad you’re here,” he grinned, moving in to kiss her lips softly. Colleen suppressed a moan at the simple touch, her body having missed his. She refused to let herself get carried away though as she pulled back with a smile and returned her attention to the ocean. 

JC could feel from the way she was carrying herself that Colleen still didn’t feel quite settled with him yet. He didn’t want to push but wanted to reassure her how much she was missed. He moved behind her and wrapped one arm around her waist as he kissed down her neck and over her shoulder. Instantly, both were transported back to the first time she came over his house and took in the view off his deck. Colleen let out a small sigh as she relaxed into his body.

“What’s the schedule of events?” Colleen asked, trying to distract herself from the feelings JC was giving her.

“Nothing official until New Year's Eve,” JC informed her between kisses. “We can do whatever tomorrow then I booked us a couple’s massage at their spa to unwind before the drunken shenanigans that will be awaiting us.”

“Don’t tell me Joey threw that in too?”

“No, this one’s all me,” JC smiled against her neck. “Oh, speaking of which,” JC said, pulling away and heading back into the suite. He headed over to his suitcase and pulled out a small wrapped gift. Colleen turned back to face him as he came out with the present in hand. “Merry Christmas,” he said, handing over the package.

Colleen looked down at the gift and smiled at JC. Instead of taking the gift however, she proceeded past JC to re-enter the bedroom and open her own suitcase to produce another wrapped gift. He joined her in the room as she made her way back to him. “Merry Christmas,” she finally replied.

JC graciously took the gift with one hand but still held his gift to her out with his other. “You first, please.” Colleen took the gift from him and almost hesitantly unwrapped it. A square black velvet box greeted her and she held her breath as she cracked it open. A beautiful aquamarine teardrop gemstone caught the light immediately as she pulled the necklace out of its case and noticed the cluster of micro diamonds that held the stone to the clasp. 

“I would have gotten you something brighter in color but I asked Piper and she insisted this was the right one to get,” JC explained.

“It’s the color of your eyes,” Colleen pointed out, watching the gem twirl before her. “It’ll get lighter or darker dependent on how the light hits it. See?” She stood next to JC so he could gaze upon it the same way she was. JC noticed the way the light refracted off the facets of the cut and smiled as Colleen continued to study it. He suddenly realized exactly why Piper had suggested this very specific gift.

“Can I put it on you?” JC offered.

“Huh? Oh, sure,” Colleen blushed and handed over the necklace. She turned her back towards JC as he draped the chain across her neck and brushed her hair aside to hook it. Once fastened, she held the trinket against her chest and turned back to JC. “It’s perfect, thank you,” she smiled. “Your turn.”

JC unwrapped his gift to find a small cardboard box taped shut. He undid the tape and found a black leather wrist cuff inside. “I remember you used to wear these all the time on your solo tour,” Colleen explained as JC took the cuff out. “According to Raina, it was a reminder to you how much she controlled you even when you were apart.” JC let a small smile cross his lips as his fingers ran over the soft leather, remembering that time in his life.

“Anyway,” Colleen continued, “I remembered this brown one that had a watch on it so I got you one that fits over your Apple Watch. It’s got a little cut out so it can still rest against your skin,” Colleen showed him.

“I had no idea they made something like this,” JC said, still looking the piece over.

“They don’t, at least that I found. I got this custom made,” she said.

“Does it say something on the inside?” JC asked as he pulled the cuff further open, trying to make out the embossing.

“It’s LPM&S but backwards. It’s a line from a Depeche Mode song that stands for…”

“Let’s Play Master & Servant,” JC finished for her.

“Yeah, so, if they did it right, after you wear it for a little bit, it’ll indent your skin so you can see it even when it’s off. Obviously not permanently but for a few hours you’ll be…”

“Marked,” he finished her sentence again.

“Right. I don’t know, it seemed like the right thing at the time,” Colleen faltered. “I thought it was sexy but a bit of a joke as well so...”

JC grabbed Colleen’s chin so he could stare into her eyes. “I love it,” he told her as she gulped. “Would you put it on me?”

“Sure,” she said softly, taking the cuff from him. It latched just like a belt so Colleen pulled the leather snug against him before fastening the strap. “Is that good?”

“Yeah, that’s good,” JC said breathlessly as she latched it closed. He moved his wrist around, making sure it didn’t pinch anywhere and when he was satisfied, he turned his attention back to Colleen. “Thank you,” he said sincerely, the fingers on his now cuffed hand reaching up to fiddle with Colleen’s necklace. “Did we really buy each other gifts based off the other’s Mistress’s recommendations?”

“Let’s be honest, it was more like instructions,” Colleen gave a small laugh, “but, yes, we did. Actually, you realize these gifts are very…I don’t know how to say it.”

“Binding,” JC offered.

“That seems as close to what I’m thinking, yeah,” she reasoned. “I’m not trying to make this into something it’s not…”

“Then let’s not,” JC told her. “When I wear this, I’ll think of you and when you wear that, you can think of me. It doesn’t need to be more than that until we want it to be.” JC leaned in and kissed Colleen slowly, feeling like it was the first kiss all over again. Slow but needy, his body pressed against her, deepening the kiss, feeling like the time he hadn’t seen her was years instead of weeks.

“JC,” she pushed back breathlessly, almost losing her footing. “We can’t…I mean, we can, we should in fact but…there’s something I need to say first.” JC stood in confusion but let her speak. “Things were left…unclear between us and I understand your concern now so I just want to let you know unequivocally how I feel.”

“Colleen, it’s ok. We talked about this and…”

“No, JC. You and I let each other into a very private and uncensored portion of our lives and at the end of the day, we had to determine if we could deal with each other’s pleasures. While we technically still haven’t had that discussion, I’d say our gifts prove that won’t be quite as hard as the last one. We need to do the same with my feelings for you so you know without a doubt if you can handle it.”

“Babe…” JC started.

“Don’t try to talk me out of this. I worked myself through two anxiety attacks on the plane ride over. I need to say it and you need to hear it,” Colleen protested.

“Ok,” JC agreed.

Colleen took in a deep breath, said a fast prayer, and spoke. “JC, I never thought seeing a teenage you singing on a kid’s show would turn into a nearly 30 year crush. Watching your talent grow over the years has been nothing short of exciting and inspiring. I wish I could pinpoint to you why you were the one I fell for but it was just the all encompassing factors of you just being you. It was your voice, your energy, your passion, the way you smile, the cute way you get embarrassed when someone tells you you’re attractive. The way your eyes shone when you were happy, the way you owned your sexuality, the way you shared your heartache with the world. I love you, JC and I will always support you, no matter where life takes you. Thank you for being such a positive and influential part of my life in ways that are impossible to explain.”

JC smiled at Colleen, “Thank you, that was very sweet.”

“Josh,” she started again and JC let out a small gasp at the name change she invoked. “These past six months have been incredible. I have literally never had anyone I could just talk about my deep desires with but you have been so open and embracing about feelings I’ve felt ashamed of for such a long time. You don’t just tolerate it, you want to celebrate it and that…that’s not something I ever expected to have in life. I wish I could pinpoint to you all the reasons why I fell in love with you but it is just the all encompassing factors of you just being you. It’s the way you make sure I get enough sleep, the way you respect my schedule, the way you dedicate yourself to your art. The way your eyes shine when you are happy, the way you own your sexuality. I love you, Josh and I support you, no matter where life takes you. Thank you for being such a positive and influential part of my life in ways that are impossible to explain.”

Colleen brushed the tears from her eyes as she saw JC do the same. “Good way to prove your point,” he said with a sniffle.

“And what point was that?” she asked.

“That you’ve had some of the same feelings before you met me and they only grew once we started dating.”

“While true, not exactly my point,” Colleen explained. “JC is the pop star I grew up listening to and loving every time I heard his voice or saw his picture. Josh is this talented music producer who makes me smile with his home cooked meals and his resistance to letting me take him shopping. They’re both the same guy but you don’t see it that way so I figured addressing each separately might help you understand.”

“What do you mean I don’t see that the same way?” JC asked, clearly not following.

“JC is the exuberant stage persona and Josh is the quiet guy behind it. You might not consciously separate the two but you thought my speech about JC was “sweet” but my speech about Josh is what made you cry.”

“That’s because it was personal,” JC tried to explain.

“They both were personal. Just because you’ve heard fans say roughly the same things over the years doesn’t make it a script we all learned so we could say it if we were lucky enough to meet you. You can’t tell me past girlfriends’ haven’t said similar things to what I said but I’m sure you believed them.”

JC stood for a moment, lost in thought. “Thanks for being so accommodating with my schedule,” he remembered Eva saying as she sat on his lap and kissed him. “You pulled an all nighter, must have really come up with something good,” Kathryn had told him from the kitchen, pushing a cup of hot tea towards him. “I can always tell when you're actually happy because your eyes light up,” Bobbie had once said.

The lightbulb went off in JC’s head and he walked back onto the balcony to get some fresh air. Colleen gave him a few minutes before walking out to join him. She gently placed her hand on JC’s back as she stood beside him looking out at the ocean.

“I thought people were just being polite,” he finally said. “Why would people care about someone they’ve never met? Why do they still care when we haven’t done anything in so long?”

“Stop worrying about why and just appreciate that they do,” Colleen told him, kissing his shoulder. “Yes, there are people who will just give the casual compliment but there are others who just want to have five minutes to tell you how much you and your music has helped them. You treat both like they’re the same thing and you shouldn’t.”

“I feel like I’ve been a jackass.”

“No honey, not even a little. You are always so polite and amazing with fans but as much as you love to say you are humbled by the compliments, you don’t actually listen to what they say. It’s hard to admit to a stranger how much they mean to you and anyone who gets the courage to do it deserves the words they’ve held in their hearts for so long to be heard.”

JC wrapped an arm around Colleen’s waist and pulled her close. “You make me feel like I’ve been waiting for you my whole life.”

“You make me feel like waiting my whole life for you was worth it,” Colleen smiled as she leaned in to kiss him. Again, the kiss started slow and loving but soon neither of them could wait to touch the other more intimately as their hands began to roam over each other’s bodies.”

“Now?” JC finally asked, “or do I have to deliver a speech as well?”

“You can save your speech for later,” Colleen informed him. “Right now, I want to lay down on that bed and make love to you.”

“Not out here?” JC smirked.

“Maybe tomorrow,” Colleen teased, grabbing his hand and leading him back to the bedroom. JC had barely gotten the door shut when Colleen’s hands ran under his t-shirt and pushed it up his torso. He happily obliged by removing it and quickly unbuckled his jeans, letting them drop to the floor as well. 

Colleen kissed over his chest as he helped her remove her own top and jeans, undoing her bra as well in the process. He pulled her body close to his as it shuddered against her own. “I’ve missed you,” he confessed. 

“I’ve missed you too,” Colleen told him, shimmying her underwear down her legs and turning her attention back to JC, running her hand over his crotch. “Please?”

“You never have to ask, Babe,” JC reassured her as he kissed her thoroughly and gently pushed her onto the bed. He disposed of his underwear and climbed on top of her, recapturing her lips in a kiss.

Both were ravenous for each other as their kiss deepened and their hands pawed at the other’s naked flesh. JC began to kiss down Colleen’s body as she moaned and tugged lightly at his hair. He reached her breasts and grabbed them fully with his hands, kneading them expertly with his fingertips as his mouth descended onto the nipple of one, quickly licking and sucking until Colleen cried out, then switching to the other side.

JC reached down Colleen’s body to her pussy and found her already wet and aching for him. He let his fingertips run over her as she arched her back. “Please,” she said again, this time more a plea than a question. JC slid his wet fingers over his hard cock and moved back up Colleen’s body, opening her legs a bit wider as he positioned himself over her.

“Look at me,” he whispered. Colleen locked eyes with JC, eyes she’d stared into countless times that were now only looking back at her. JC slowly slid into her and they both fought to maintain eye contact as the sensation over took them.

JC got his hands under Colleen and rocked into her. He licked his lips as he continued, feeling sweat already forming on his brow. “JC…” she breathed, just wanting to say his name.

“I love you,” he told her as he could feel her walls start to tighten around him.

“I love you too,” she said quickly, grabbing his face in her hands and bucking her hips, wanting JC to go faster. He took the hint and sped up a bit. “I love you JC,” Colleen said again, perspiration appearing on her body as well. 

JC was panting now, concentrating on maintaining his pace as his instincts wanted to slam into her hard and cum. This wasn’t about getting off though, this was about the two of them connecting on a deeper level, JC told himself as he stared down at his girlfriend’s face, her eyes wide, her mouth a perfect O, looking like she was holding on for dear life.

“Please make me cum,” she asked and JC sped up once more, this time their bodies causing the head board to begin to hit the wall. JC could feel her start to slightly spasm around him and knew her orgasm was imminent. He pushed hard into her as she grabbed his shoulders for support. “JC…JC…JC…” she sputtered with each thrust. She was just about to say his name again when her orgasm hit her. “J…Josh!” she cried out, her head falling back as her back arched several times so her hips could meet JC’s.

That was all it took for JC to go over the edge as well, once again forcing himself to keep his eyes open so he could watch her body convulse underneath him as he emptied himself inside her. Once he was done, he had just enough strength to pull out and flop down beside her in a sweaty heap.

The two lay there for several minutes in silence, their ragged breathing being the only sound that filled the room. JC’s arm draped over Colleen’s stomach and she let her fingertips play against his own as she attempted to regain her composure. Eventually, JC felt strong enough to drag himself up the mattress and pulled Colleen along with him as they actually settled into the bed and lay their heads on the pillows.

JC curled his body into the back of Colleen and wrapped both his arms around her as he placed soft kisses on the skin he could reach. “Don’t leave again, ok?” he whispered to her.

“Let’s not put either one of us in a position where we think should,” Colleen countered and patted his hands.

“Deal,” he murmured into her neck. “Do you want to lay here until dinner or do you want to grab a shower?”

“Cancel the dinner reservations,” she told him. “Room service, my treat. I do not want to get out of this bed until I absolutely have to.” Colleen rolled over to face JC and tucked his hair behind his ear. “We have a lot of time to make up for.” Colleen kissed JC and both knew a long but indulgent night was in store for them.

“Jesus Christ, look at this tub!” Colleen exclaimed the following morning as she saw the large soaking tub in the bathroom.

“How did you not see that last night?” JC called from the bedroom.

“I could barely stand up last night,” Colleen called back. “I wouldn’t have noticed if a gorilla was in here.” She eyed the tub with a big smile, knowing what she was doing today.

JC ordered room service again for breakfast, both of them being too lazy to put on clothes yet, opting to pull on their complimentary robes and enjoy their own private oasis a bit longer. 

They sat together on a loveseat on the balcony, enjoying their coffee and each other’s company, neither wanting to be anywhere else in the world. “Have you ever been to Miami before?” JC asked Colleen.

“No, haven’t really been to the East Coast much. I had a couple friends who moved to Boston after law school and flew out there once but that’s about it. I don’t have a lot of time to travel so mainly up and down the coast for long weekends or home to my family.”

“Where is your favorite place you’ve been?” 

“I like to go up to Mammoth Lakes at least once a year if I can. The plane ride is short so I can get a few days in. They normally have some good wellness retreats throughout the year so it’s worth the money for a chance to get away and relax.”

“I wouldn’t think you’d need that with Piper around,” JC teased.

“Retreats are more like a guided meditation; Mistress Piper is a mind fuck. Both useful but both different,” Colleen explained.

“I wish I could give that to you,” JC said, his free hand coming up to brush back Colleen’s hair that had caught in the breeze. He paused, debating, thinking of what Piper had shown him…

“It’s complicated but, I don’t know, maybe we’ll figure something out. Right now, you just being so open and accepting is more than enough,” Colleen told him, leaning over to give him a brief kiss.

“But still…”

“Ok, yes, if I had my druthers, I’d be doing those things with you. I just know it’s a lot to ask so I’m not pushing my luck.”

“It’s not a lot to ask. You like what you like, there’s no shame in asking for what you want that will get you off.”

“So you have no problem just asking women to tie you to the bed and cock tease you?” Colleen asked.

“Not just any woman,” JC laughed, “but someone I’m in a serious relationship with, yeah, I tell her but I ease into it, well, normally.”

“I’ve tried doing that before but it’s like I can never find the right words,” Colleen admitted.

“That’s because you are always so direct but this is the one thing you pussyfoot around. It’s actually kind of cute, watching you squirm like you’re trying to avoid saying a dirty word.”

“It IS a dirty word,” Colleen insisted with a laugh.

“Only to you,” JC smiled. “Just say it out loud, it’s ok.” Colleen blushed hard so JC turned both their bodies so they were facing one another. “Here, I’ll help. Repeat after me: I like…”

“I like…,” Colleen giggled.

“…to be…”

“…to be…”

“…hypnotized.”

Colleen bit her lip and stared at JC. She had a sharp intake of breath and exhaled as she repeated “…hypnotized.”

“Good girl,” JC said softly, running his fingertips from Colleen’s temple down behind her ear and along her neck. Colleen gasped at the feeling as her body relaxed against his touch. Even though she knew Mistress Piper had told JC exactly what to do, she was somehow still amazed it was having that instantaneous of a feeling on her.

“Ok,” she said, grabbing JC’s hand as she regained her breath. “We’re gonna need some ground rules with that.” JC smirked but let her continue. “Never in public. Never when we are fighting…”

“I thought we agreed last night to never fight again,” JC joked as Colleen shot him a look.

“Never when either of us is working,” she continued. “Never while operating a moving vehicle.”

“Would it help if you drew up a contract with various clauses and subsections that you can refer back to?” JC suggested.

“Come on, I’m serious,” Colleen told him despite laughing. “This is like…like the fantasy and the reality are colliding and I just, I need to know we both understand what is and isn’t ok ahead of time.”

“That’s fair,” JC kissed her, “as long as the same rules apply both ways.”

“Of course. Anything you want to add?”

JC thought about it. “I think you covered the basics. The contract is open to addendums after initial signing, correct?”

“As long as both parties agree, yes,” Colleen smiled then stood up. “Ok, I want to get in that tub. Care to join me?”

“Sure, let me just clean up,” JC said, grabbing their now empty coffee cups and returning them to the room service cart. JC pushed the cart into the hallway and was surprised to find Colleen standing in the living room when he turned back around. “I thought you’d be getting the bath ready.”

“Actually, I had a better idea,” she smirked, walking up close to him. JC was unsure of what she was doing until he felt her hand press firmly down on his shoulder. JC slowly dropped to his knees as he looked up at his girlfriend expectantly. “I was thinking that you should run the bath. There is some bubble bath on the counter, add that too.”

“Yes Mistress,” JC replied. His eyes went wide when he registered what he had said as Colleen clasped her hand over her mouth. “Well, turns out that’s automatic,” JC said in disbelief as he headed to the bathroom.

Colleen followed, watching JC fiddle with the dials to get the temperature just right. “Sorry, I just…I wasn’t prepared for you to answer that way.”

“Neither was I, actually,” JC confessed.

“But, I mean, you’ve played around with other women before so…”

“Not like that,” JC stated, finally getting the water to where he wanted it and letting the tub fill. “It’s a game. Women want me to call them Mistress cuz it’s a power trip for them, which I get, but it’s nothing compared to Mistress Raina.”

“So why was this different?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because you wanted me to do something simple but not sexual. I think mostly because Mistress Raina told you exactly what to do to me so it feels, I don’t know, it feels real is the best way I can put it right now.”

“But Raina would have told those women the same thing.”

“No, she didn’t,” JC told her as he reached for the bubble bath. “Mistress Raina has always been generous with allowing women I wanted to share the experience with in to do so but she’s never given anyone advice or instructions or whatever for after we left. It feels kinda like she signed off on this one, like it’s okay to let myself have those feelings with someone else.”

“Wow,” was all Colleen could say for a long moment. “Are you…I mean, how do you feel about that?”

“I don’t know yet,” JC said honestly, standing up from the side of the tub to face Colleen. “What I do know is that I’m looking forward to figuring it out with you. You push me out of my comfort zone in the best way possible.”

“Ditto,” Colleen replied sweetly and moved in for a kiss when she caught something white out of the corner of her eye. “Jesus Christ! Did you put all the bubbles in there!” Colleen exclaimed, running over to shove the growing suds back into the tub.

“You didn’t say how much!” JC started laughing, turning off the water. “I assumed all of it.”

“Well, we’ve learned the first lesson: be specific with commands,” she also laughed. She stepped back momentarily and threw her robe off to the side. “I’m going in,” Colleen stated as she waded into the still growing foam.

“Are you ok in there?” JC laughed after a few moments. “Should I send a search party?”

“The water is perfect but I can’t see for shit,” Colleen said, sputtering and waving her arms to get the soap out of her face. JC couldn’t resist as he stepped into the bedroom to grab his cell phone and pulled up his camera to start recording.

“It was all going so well until a cloud of jasmine scented soap ate my girlfriend,” JC narrated as he filmed Colleen’s feeble attempts to quell the mound of bubbles. He pushed some aside to help Colleen free herself as they both continued laughing.  Her face finally showed through and JC zoomed in. “Yep, that’s the Christmas card.”

“Good thing it just passed. I got a whole year to embarrass myself even further,” Colleen said, finally able to see again and now noticing the camera. “The memory wasn’t enough, you had to capture this for eternity?”

“Oh, I want to relive this one over and over,” JC smirked. Colleen grabbed his phone and turned it around to face JC. She tilted it up to just his face and curled the index finger of her other hand to beckon him forward. Colleen watched him through the phone take off his robe, exposing his bare shoulders on film and his bare everything else for her eyes only. He came over and sat on the edge of the tub, moving the bubbles towards Colleen’s feet. She took his hand and looked away from the camera to him directly as a wicked grin spread across her face. JC didn’t even have time to react as she yanked his arm and pulled him into the bath with her.

After the bubbles had finally been tamed, JC lay in the tub as Colleen rested on top of him. “Have you told Joey thank you for all of this yet?”

“I did. I sent him a few pics when I arrived yesterday.”

Colleen turned and reached back to where she had placed JC’s phone. “Open please,” she asked, pointing the screen at him. It unlocked automatically as it registered his face and he swiped to give her access. He was surprised at how easily he’d given into her request; maybe it was because he could watch what she was clicking or maybe it was because he somehow trusted that she wouldn’t go snooping.

He was right on both accounts as she pulled open the camera and turned it to selfie mode. She lay her head back on JC’s chest and held the phone high to try and capture the both of them. JC grabbed the phone to catch a better angle as his arms were longer and snapped a few shots.

“Maybe I’m wrong, but I feel like texting one of those to Joey is just antagonistic enough to make him happy and angry all at the same time,” Colleen laughed.

“Yes but I’m not stupid enough to send any of them anything the least bit incriminating. Those are for private viewing.” He held the phone in front of Colleen and flipped the view to take a picture of the tops of their feet sticking out from the bubbles. “That should get the message across,” JC chuckled as he popped the image into his text message with Joey and hit send.

“Good call, don’t want to give him something he can “enjoy” too much,” Colleen stated, using air quotes.

“Gross,” JC laughed as he made a face.

“Personally, I’d find it finally fair. Let him get off to me for once.”

“No no no, not Joey!” JC protested, laughing and shaking his head.

“Everybody’s gone through the rotation a few times at some point,” Colleen admitted. “I mean, not recently!” she added for clarification.

“You’re really going all in with your fan status, aren’t you?” JC teased.

“Told you, gotta know what you are getting yourself into,” she said, craning her neck to kiss JC quickly.

JC thought back to his conversation with Chris and decided to chance a question. “So what’s the craziest fantasy you’ve had about me?”

“Oh Jesus,” Colleen blushed, “there’s far too many to pinpoint one.”

“Ok, how about most prevalent? The one that will get you off most times?”

“You really want to know?” Colleen asked him nervously.

“Hey, you keep saying that I need to know what I’m dealing with,” he shrugged.

“Ok,” she breathed. “The details always vary but the basic premise is I run into you somewhere, like a bar or club or a concert. Someplace noisy and crowded. You ask to dance with me and we do so and, I don’t really know how to explain it, it’s a combination of it being you and the music and the closeness of our bodies, I just feel you…taking over me. Like, I get more and more turned on as we dance and I feel myself knowing I’m going to do whatever you want me to do. I’m going to let you do whatever you want to me.”

JC ran his fingers along Colleen’s hips as she spoke, starting to get aroused by the visual she was creating. “You end up taking me…somewhere,” she continued. “A hotel, your house, an alley, doesn’t matter, just away from everyone. You pin me against a wall so I feel…trapped, but I like it. You stare me down and start telling me how badly you want me and how even if I wanted to, I couldn’t resist you but I don’t want to, I just want to give in to you.”

Colleen shifted in JC’s lap and he bit his lip as her ass brushed his hardened cock. Hearing her talk about him like this was way hotter than he expected and he wanted her to keep going. “Everything else slips away and it’s just you, your voice and your eyes, holding me captive, feeling myself fall further and further and it feels so good to just let go of every care or worry in the world and surrender…to you.” Colleen paused, realizing she was starting to get a bit too carried away with her description. “Anyways, then it depends on what mood I’m in. Sometimes I just drop to my knees and suck you off, sometimes we have sex…like I said, it varies.”

“Would it really be that easy?” JC asked.

“I don’t know. For like a normal person, no, but for me…let’s just say looking you in the eyes takes a lot of willpower some days.”

“Really?” JC gave a small surprised laugh.

“I’ve stared into your eyes over the years for countless hours. I trained my brain long ago when it comes to you,” Colleen admitted.

“And Piper egged it along,” JC found himself smiling. “We didn’t put in any water provisions to that contract, did we?”

“No, why?”

“Just checking,” he said as he brought a hand up out of the water to play over the side of Colleen’s head, wetting her hair as he traced from her temple down behind her ear and along to her neck. Colleen sighed audibly. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No,” Colleen breathed, her voice already sounding more wistful.

JC had no idea what he was doing and tried his best to rely on instinct as he continued. “Just relax. Let yourself experience what you’ve always wanted, me controlling you. Don’t think, don’t resist, just let it happen.” 

Colleen was caught somewhere between completely freaking out and completely losing control. This wasn’t happening, except it absolutely was. JC was whispering in her ear things she literally had only dreamed of him saying. She tried to concentrate on every word.

“That’s right, just give in. It’s so easy, to just listen and do what I say…to obey.”

“Obey,” Colleen heard herself say as a surge of pleasure rolled over her body. Her chest heaved and she took a moment to focus on her breathing as JC continued.

“That’s a good girl,” JC said, kissing the other side of her neck. “Doesn’t matter if I’m looking at you or not, you already know the power I have over you. You gave it to me long ago and now I’m here to take it.”

JC realized he must have done something right as he heard Colleen softly exhale as she lay languidly on his chest. They hadn’t moved yet he could feel her body relaxing more and more against his as he spoke and now she laid there looking as peaceful as he’d ever seen her. He smiled, feeling pretty accomplished for a first try. However, his pride quickly turned to concern as he thought, “Shit, now what do I do?!”

Several phones buzzed simultaneously across different parts of the country.

C: Gross, Joey! I don’t want to see your rank ass feet.

J: They aren’t mine!

C: I’m sorry to inform you but the role of sex freak has already be filled in this band. Please take your new found foot fetish to 98 Degrees.

J: Shut up! Those are of the sex freak you mentioned and his lovely lady friend.

JT: Lies

L: No way.

Joey took a screenshot of his text thread with JC and sent it to the other three.

L: NO WAY!!!!

JT: Well shit.

C: Why is JC in your phone as Fuck Nut?

J: I have code names for everyone in case my phone ever gets stolen. The rest of you are Dick Wad, Bitch Ass and Shit Rooster.

C: Please tell me I’m Shit Rooster.

L: Joey, you know how much money you could get for that picture? You’ve got famous feet, multiple feet, intermingling feet

JT: Stop saying feet!

J: Focus people! 

C: Feet

J: What do we do with this?

L: I told you, sell it on the internet. No one will know it’s JC.

JT: Somebody would figure out it’s JC.

L: Ok true.

C: Why did he send this to you anyways?

J: No clue. Very unlike him.

L: I think it’s great. She seems to loosen him up.

C: If he sends you a picture of his dick next, do NOT send that to me.

L: Definitely send that to me!

JT: Can’t we just be happy for JC and not rag on him for once?

J: No

C: I can be happy for him and make fun. I’m a multitasker.

L: Exactly. I personally want to drag out of him what they do together.

JT: I’m assuming have sex. Apparently take baths?

L: You know what I mean.

“I’m going to hell,” JC thought as he laid back into the love seat on the balcony, sunglasses on, robe open as the breeze dried his skin. He was being incredibly selfish but it was too good an opportunity to pass up. He brushed back Colleen’s falling hair as her mouth worked up and down on his cock, her naked body glistening in the sunlight as she knelt before him. JC looked down at her and moaned. He’d been in charge before but he realized this was the first time he’d ever truly been in control and he could see why the feeling could be addicting. For once, he saw things from Mistress Raina’s point of view and he could definitely see himself enjoying this more than occasionally. JC tilted his head back and enjoyed Colleen’s mouth, Colleen’s submission. A beer would have been perfect right now…

J: It’s JC. He’s probably getting water boarded as we speak.

C:  Even I think there’s a difference between pain for pleasure and downright torture.

J: Depends on where your line is.

L: I don’t wanna say I’ve been thinking about it but yeah, I’m fucking curious.

JT: Why? Do people ask you what you do with Michael?

C: I did. I didn’t know how it all worked, you know, mechanically.

J: I just wanted to know who was fucking who’s ass.

L: OMG! What if JC likes to get pegged?!

C: What the hell is that?

L: No one tell him!

JT: Why the hell do you 3 turn into 15 year old virgins whenever sex comes up?

J: When did you turn into a fucking prude about it? Have your wife suck your dick once in a while.

JT: Says the guy that’s single.

J: Guaranteed I’ve gotten head more recently than you.

L: Guys! My point is, they both have Mistresses which makes them both submissive. What do they do, take turns ordering each other around?

J: Why not? You and Michael take turns in each other’s butt holes.

JT: I hate all of you.

C: Feet

Colleen found herself laying with her head in JC’s lap with her robe thrown over her naked body on the love seat outside. JC was rubbing her back and singing softly. He stopped both when she uncurled herself into a big, satisfying stretch. “How you feeling, Babe?”

“Did I fall asleep?” she asked, trying clear the receding fog out of her mind.

“I suppose in a way,” JC smirked.

Colleen sat up, starting to replay the events of the morning in her head. Breakfast, coffee, bathtub… Colleen turned her head quickly back towards the suite then to JC, staring at him wide eyed. “Did…did we…did you…?! I…did that really just happen?! I didn’t just dream it all?”

“Is the shock/confusion a normal reaction afterwards or is it because you got to live out a fantasy? At least, I think that’s what I did.”

“If the latter keeps happening, the former will become the standard reaction,” Colleen breathed heavily, the memories of the past hour coming over her like a tidal wave. “Fuck, JC, I…damn! That was fucking incredible!”

“I’m glad, Babe,” JC smiled, leaning over to kiss her. Colleen captured his lips in an enthusiastic kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck. She eventually sat back as the two held hands and smiled at one another. “You ok?” JC asked her.

“Way more than ok,” Colleen reassured him. “I’m more concerned with how you are doing.”

“I’m good,” JC said, patting her hand. “I realized a bit too late we kinda quickly zipped through to the advanced course so felt a bit out of my element at points but thankfully Google really does have an answer to everything nowadays. I’m probably on some sort of list now.”

“Sorry if I got a little carried away.”

“I’m the one that did the carrying, you were fine. I, um, I have to admit, I enjoyed that a lot more than I imagined I would. Just feel like there’s maybe a few things I gotta learn before we have another go at it.”

“That’s more than fair,” Colleen said, then looked at JC hopefully. “So, are you saying you’d want to do that again?”

“Absolutely!” JC exclaimed. “All I need is an owner’s manual and I’m gonna have you doing all kinds of tricks…that we discuss beforehand and make sure you’re ok with, of course.”

“Owner’s manual?” Colleen raised an eyebrow at him. “You couldn’t go with instruction guide?”

“I said what I said,” JC teased, giving her a quick kiss before standing up. “Ok, I don’t know about you but I am starving and am in the mood for a cold beer. Wanna put some clothes on and actually explore some of the city?”

“I do,” Colleen said, getting up and striding over to him as she put her robe on properly. “I just have one problem.”

“Oh? What’s that?” JC asked curiously.

Colleen eyed JC up and down. “Did you really think I was going to let you get away with not giving me an orgasm?”

“Well, I thought that me hyp…” JC started to speak but his words died on his lips as Colleen pushed him down to his knees and let her robe fall to the floor.

“You were saying?” she taunted him.

JC forgot the sentence he had wanted to finish, his complete focus on the gorgeous woman in front of him. He licked his lips as a different type of hunger took over him.